#i'm convinced that we are now in two completely different fandoms

[atlasdoe]

why did i just see someone on tiktok refer to Maddy from euphoria as a Remus Lupin variant????

[hijinks-n-lowjinks]

thoughts on 268 and megumi

This post is going to be a long discussion of how I interpret Megumi's situation with both Sukuna and with Yuuji. I do detail some of my own experiences with mental health and how my interpretation of the chapter and Megumi's characterization are influenced directly by it.

(tw: discussions of depression/mental health/suicide/suicidal ideation)

First of all, people respond and interpret and react to media/stories differently. Just because someone has a different take than you does not mean that they are wrong! Those feelings come from a very real place and it's important to process and converse about media with that sort of empathy in mind.

Moving on to the actual analysis part, there is one central theme and framing that I'm starting to believe gege has intended to use Megumi's situation as a metaphor/allusion for: mental illness/suicidal ideation.

Megumi is trapped within himself, stuck in darkness that he can't seem to find his way out of by himself. His condition only grew worse and worse the longer he spent time stuck in his own body to the point where we began to see a lot of self-destructive tendencies and suicidal ideation from him. He didn't care if he lived or died, the most important thing to him was to just stop feeling everything that was hurting him and for the others to stop working so hard and putting themselves in danger to help someone he believed wasn't worth the effort.

We see Sukuna trying to convince Megumi not to fight back and to give in to his control. He throws accusations at Megumi that we as the audience know are manipulations of reality, but they are the words that someone dealing with depression will hear from their inner worst self no matter how twisted they are from reality.

The twist here is that Megumi tells Sukuna that he has never intended on living a life he personally cares about, but that he's going to continue to let the people he loves anchor and tether him to life.

And then Megumi is literally pulled from the darkness through the actions of someone else/someone who loves him. Yuuji is fighting for Megumi and his words and actions have finally made an impact and helped Megumi fight back.

And the crazy thing is, Sukuna chases after him. Depression and mental health are constant struggles even after recovery. It feels like there's a constant pressure not to backslide into bad habits and spiral back down the depression rabbit hole. Mental health struggles will always linger, but that's why we have to fight back and choose to want to get better.

The biggest divide in the fandom reaction to 268 is Megumi's words "just once more, I want to try living for someone else."

Now, I think the words "I'm doing to live for someone else" have been taken so literally by people that they think it means "and therefore I am not living for myself." Those two things are not opposites, but go hand in hand!

I can agree this decision gege made for him is not as satisfying as Megumi choosing to live for himself, but I do believe this was a purposeful decision and that it is the most realistic choice for someone in Megumi's position.

Not to get too specific, but for a couple of years the only thing keeping me from a complete spiral into an actual contemplation of suicide was because of my relationships to other people. I stayed alive because of them. I barely took care of myself and basically forced myself to do the bare minimum because I knew that somehow there were people in my life who wanted me to live.

I could not live for myself. I did not care for or love myself in the slightest, so why would I try to make my life better? The only reason I actually started caring about myself was because other people cared for me first. They told me I was loved, that they enjoyed spending time with me, that I was someone who would be missed if things ever did go south.

That's why Yuuji being the catalyst behind Megumi's decision to fight was so impactful to me, because Megumi was me.

Megumi's decision being influenced by his relationship with Yuuji instantly reminded me of one of my favorite monologues from Fruits Basket where they discuss self love and how choosing to care about your own life isn't as simple as many neurotypicals often make it out to be. It's a scene that was heavily impactful to me when I was going through my worst times and I feel like it really puts Megumi's choice to live for the sake of others in perspective.

"There was a time when I stopped talking, like you. The reason was a little different, but I think the feelings of shame and self-hatred are similar. Your teacher advises you to “love yourself”. What does that even mean? “Look for good points"… how is someone supposed to find those? I only knew the things that I hated about myself. The whole reason we despise ourselves is because we can only see the parts we hate, so forcing ourselves to find good things feels pointless, like we'd just be making them up. It's a nice sentiment, but it’s not always that simple. Instead, I think it's when someone else says they love you that you're finally able to begin to love yourself. When someone truly accepts who you are, that's when you can start to forgive yourself and suddenly see the good things you've had all along."

This scene hit me hard when I first watched it. It was exactly what I needed to hear: that I wasn’t weak and pathetic for not being able to see a future for myself on my own. I wasn't weak because I had to rely on the support of others to keep my head above water. I wasn't weak because I needed their love and praise to enable me to see those very same aspects about me that they loved!!!

Living for the sake of others is not the end all be all of recovery. That is merely the first step: recognizing that you are loved and that you want to live because others want you to live. That is not where recovery stops! It's a long, arduous journey where you eventually have to choose to live for yourself because you want to. But sometimes that decision is so daunting and feels so impossible when you're in the thick of it that it can completely crush your spirit.

When you're at the end of your rope, it's the people you love who tie you back down.

In my mind, Megumi didn't choose to fight or live only because of Yuuji. Yuuji was the catalyst, but not the entire purpose. Megumi heard that he was loved by someone, and because he loved them in return he chose to fight. He wanted to experience that love and thus show Yuuji that he was loved in return by fighting to stay with him.

[blackgirlsuperherorants]

IWTV rant incoming, spoilers for both seasons, be forewarned!

I've been seeing far too much Louis hate online recently, and while I'm of the opinion that none of these vamps are completely innocent by nature, I can't help but notice the disproportionate hate on my boy.

Honestly, it feels a little like fandom racism. And I think AMC IWTV fans have convinced themselves that they're beyond such things because of Jacob and Assad, but idk, everyone turning on the Black one at once seems... yucky?

First, I've seen a lot of "Louis is an abuser". Which... is a wild take on a show where most of the main characters hurt everyone around them?

I think some of it is coming from those who saw the episode in season 2 in which it is revealed that the big fight that Louis and Lestat had in S1 was more even than just Lestat beating up Louis, but y'all... we're not supposed to take S1 as a complete fabrication. A lot of y'all keep saying "oh, we haven't met the real Lestat." Sure, not in person and not from his POV until that ending, but we're not supposed to take it as Louis just lying outright. In the series, different from the books, OUR Louis calls Daniel back in 2022 to give him a more accurate version of the story. In the 1970s, he was just trash-talking Lestat. In 2022, he is remembering Lestat fondly while also remembering all the pain Lestat caused him. He only learns at the end of the season that Armand manipulated some of his memories. And only SOME. We're not supposed to think Armand made Louis misremember everything he and Lestat ever did together. So, we can take S1 as a version of the truth, even if it has some holes or misremembered parts... and in S1, Lestat is a scary guy. When Louis fought him, he was fighting a scary monster. You can't talk about it like he was a human man fighting his human partner because he got a little angry. He was a vampire fighting an even stronger vampire who, as far as Louis knew, was capable of awful things. And Lestat stalked Louis when he was still a human, fed on him without consent, killed the priests Louis turned to in fear... none of that was healthy courtship of a lover. To then turn around and call LOUIS the abuser? That's nuts.

And then there's Armand.

Armand is capable of great physical violence without even lifting a finger. You cannot look at me in the face and tell me that Louis slamming him into a wall was *abuse* after finding out that Armand mindfucked him for 70 years. After y'all saw what Armand did to Daniel. After Armand plotted Louis' death while manipulating Louis into thinking he was loved.

"Louis is an abuser" is a wild take after watching both of those seasons. Louis isn't an innocent princess, either, but compared to the two older vampires, he is the main victim of the story. Both Lestat and Armand emotionally abused him, manipulated him, and physically hurt him, and after all of it, he just ends up alone.

Now, believe me, I love Armand and Lestat. I think they're wonderfully awful people, and so much fun to watch, so fun to love, so fun to hate. But I think so many people left season 2 on their sides completely, just because Louis stood up for himself AND admitted that he was wrong about a lot of what he thought he remembered. And in all honesty, I think a lot of y'all like Sam and Assad because they're hot and... Jacob, while hot, is still Black. With Assad, you can give yourselves the benefit of the doubt because he's still a person of color, but he's a non-black person of color...

And Black people are not afforded softness or innocence, the way non-black people are. So, Louis doing something that's not good makes him not good, even if it's in the context of being a vampire. But Lestat and Armand get "brat prince" and "baby girl" even when they're cruel.

And also, it's not great to put the "abuser" label on someone standing up to their abuser. I dunno. Feels kinda yucky, in that sense, too.

Personally, I try to keep these people's vampire incarnations out of human morality, because being a vampire is inherently immoral because you need to kill to stay alive. So, like, when they physically fight, I can excuse it because they know they can't actually do much harm for the most part, because vampires heal fast and can't be easily hurt. But when... idk, you drop your fledgling from an extreme height, or cut someone's ankles and have them buried in rocks and locked away in a mausoleum... that's actually trying to hurt them (as Lestat admitted.)

And Louis' attempt to kill Lestat was because he and Claudia feared him. None of them disagree with that fact.

Anyway, have the same grace for the Black man that you do for your brat prince. Idk why y'all are trying to make Louis the bad guy. He never even asked to be a vampire. Lestat just wanted to keep him.

[kradogsrats]

Signs of the Fall, Pt. 1

Since basically... forever? Look, idk I wasn't around for the first half of this fandom so I don't know when Aaravos as "fallen star" was revealed. But presumably since then, it's been a big question mark as to exactly what that means.

We're told in places like the artbook that—along with whatever else it may mean—Aaravos being a "fallen" star means he's significantly depowered, and that his "fallen" status was a consideration in designing his look. So, reasonably, there should be identifiable features of Aaravos as a "fallen" Startouch elf, and we've collectively already spent a shit-ton of time overanalyzing them and what they mean.

BUT now that s6 is out and we have a chunk time seeing Aaravos before anything that would normally have been assumed to be his "fall" (more on that later), I wanted to return to some of the ones that have been most discussed.

The Eyes Have It

Previous assumption was that Aaravos's eyes not being the luminous Startouch pink outside of flashbacks was related to his status as a "fallen" Startouch elf and related to the darkening of his chest star:

This has not been cleared up by s6, where he is shown both with

and without the full-pink Startouch eyes

in contexts that are basically identical, aside from medium (one being a painting, and one being animated), in the same damn episode.

So what, if anything, does it mean?

First of all, I want to acknowledge that this may be entirely a choice of artistic convenience. Having arted a time or two, myself—characters without human-standard visual distinction between sclera, iris, and pupil are an unbelievable pain in the ass. A huge amount of microexpressions that humans subconsciously rely on to convey mood and intent are entirely down to the spatial/size relationship of iris and pupil to the surrounding eyelids. Leola and TMO are animated with full-pink eyes, with the irises barely distinguishable and pupils invisible, sure—but Leola has a shit-ton of emotional body language to compensate and let's be real, TMO is intended to be serenely inscrutable and alien.

It's just really, really hard to have a character convey the depth and nuance Aaravos requires when you're effectively barred from using one of the most critical aspects of facial expressions. Rather than fight that uphill battle, they may have chosen to handwave it in one context or another. (That is, the state of Aaravos's eyes is linked with his "fallen" status, and in the scenes with Leola they are meant to be different but it turned out to be way too annoying to handle.)

It could also, like Leola's single horn, be explained as a unique feature of Aaravos or this particular physical manifestation of Aaravos, except that they did go out of their way to include the full-pink eyes in not only the painted s4 flashbacks, but also the s3 promo art:

To be completely honest: I'm not convinced at this point that this is a feature we're meant to attach significance to. Unless we get additional context of another Startouch elf with eyes like Aaravos's, or conditions under which Aaravos is actually animated with the full-pink Startouch eyes... I don't think we can really know for sure.

Star Up, Star Down

In the same vein as his eyes, we've attached a lot of importance to the orientation of Aaravos's chest star. Since the Star primal symbol is actually used very rarely, and in just about every context up to s6 it was in its "upright" orientation—that is, the opposite of Aaravos's chest star. And like, obviously a fallen star would be upside-down.

It seems like s6 is determined to mess with us in that respect. For the most part, Aaravos's chest star is upright, or opening-down:

Until his grieving, when it is opening-up (and also darkened):

HOWEVER, when TMO appears in the same scene, their chest star is also opening-up, though lit:

We also get a LOT more usage of the Star primal symbol at the Starscraper:

And—excluding when it's on the floor so you can't know for sure what the "proper" orientation is—it is exclusively opening-up:

Also noteworthy is that we don't see the mark directly on Leola's chest, but on her clothing it is opening-up:

As is her star in the constellation:

So whatever the orientation is meant to signify—and unlike the eyes, I do think this is still significant in some way—it's unlikely that it's a strictly negative symbol. There's some other dichotomy at play that it's indicating.

Body Bling

This one doesn't come up as often, but it's suggested (at least in the artbook, IIRC) that Aaravos's body stars are brighter before he's "fallen," when he's at full power. Is this objectively true? Well... yeah, not really.

In arc two, they're very similar levels of brightness across s4-s6, independent of his chest star:

In arc one, the mirror effect tends to be more pronounced than the one scene where we see it in arc two, so it sometimes looks like they're not as bright. I think they actually are meant to be, though:

And then, of course, at the end of s2 when he's casting, everything is brighter:

So that doesn't seem related at all, except in the sense that magic is shiny. Maybe we'll learn something at some point about Aaravos's relationship to the primal sources that will explain that, but for now we can put this one to bed.

—

aaaaand I have actually hit the "images per post" limit so we'll be concluding in Part 2!

[bibibbon]

I made a huge mistake in going to the MHA subreddit. The braindead takes on 427 have me convinced I'm stuck in a parallel universe where we're reading a completely different story:

"It's great seeing Deku play therapist with the LOV, but all it seems to have done is make things worse!" A) Izuku shouldn't be having to play therapist to begin with, considering he's a 16 year old kid. B) most of the LOV don't see anything they did as wrong, so idk what the fuck Izuku can do about that. Also, WHY AREN'T PEOPLE HELPING IZUKU WITH HIS OWN GODDAMN FEELINGS?!

Apparently Bakugou killed Kurogiri, and there's absolutely ZERO reaction to it both in and out of universe. So of fucking course Izuku is a murderer, but not their precious Bakugou 🥱.

"I feel like Hori's really underrated as a writer!" Horikoshi doesn't know Show Don't Tell, how to actually develop characters, and how to craft actual stakes in the narrative from a hole in the ground. Also, MHA is one of the most popular mangas worldwide, so you're not even using underrated right.

"I feel like Horikoshi sees our discussions and then implements them in the story!" This I can kind of agree with, considering how much y'all hate Izuku and worship Bakugou. But on the other hand, I really doubt Horikoshi thinks the MHA subreddit is as important as you think it is.

"Bakugou's totally going to ask Izuku to start their own hero agency together at the end!" Jesus fucking Christ, just say you hate Izuku. How would that be a great ending for him? He not only has to see the source of his low self esteem and borderline suicidal feelings achieving the dream he'll now never have, but you want them to WORK together?!

@nutzgunray-lvt 👋

Well a lot of the time looking into Reddit is always a mistake unless you're asking a very niche question and you get an answer from 9 years ago or something.

I feel like a lot of people whether that be in universe or in fandom forget that izuku is a 16 year old child soldier. Izuku is more than a decade younger than a lot of the villains in the leauge. He is a child who has been exploited by the system and abused. We have seen in 425 izuku try and talk to someone but simply get brushed aside and while I don't blame shoto or ochako for doing that as they probably didn't mean it and are traumatised themselves it kinda of shows how much this has effected izuku. Also this doesn't help BECAUSE HORI GAVE US NO FLIPPING INTROPSECTION ON IZUKU'S BIT AGAIN!! Also Iam not sure if it's just me but Izuku's eye bags are heavily prominent in this chapter especially when he is talking to spinner.

The fandom especially the lov stans side of it love babayifying the actions of the leauge and hyper fixating on the humane soft side they may have while completely ignoring the horrible actions they commited. I talk about this better in one of @palesweetscherryblossom asks

I still can't believe that bk may of killed kurogiri. I don't even know when that happend and I checked the wiki but it says that kurogiris status is unconfirmed so I will be waiting until the last chapter to fully acknowledge if kurogiri is dead or not. However this brings up the point that the fandoms is being quite hypocritical if they're calling izuku a murder but not bakugo. They both killed people but for some reason it's izuku thats put into public light and bashing instead of all the other characters that have killed in the series including villains.

Yeah sometimes it feels like hori is looking at discussions of his series and implementing ideas but I think that goes more for his Japanese fans than us to be honest because after all they're his target demographic. I remember when I first joined Tumblr one of my earliest posts talked about how horikoshi's writing decisions were heavily influenced by his fans which may or may not be true.

At this point IAM convinced that izuku isn't getting a proper happy ending. Every time I think it can't get worse it does. Just by your comment of them starting an agency together haunts me just like the possibility that bk may become the number one hero

[sunnysam-my]

Stolas' Lament VS Just Look My Way

I wasn't really a fan of this song when I first heard the beginning, so I only watched both the original and the official version now, and, oh boy, do I have some thoughts.

The song was first released as a fan single by PARANOiD DJ. Two years later (2023) an officia music video was released, on Vivzie's account, with an updated instrumental and lyrics.

I've highlighted the differentces in lyrics. On left is the original version on right is the official.

This song is actually really great when it comes to it's meaning and development of Stolas. But, OMG, what is with those changes???

But dearest, I know better now I must give you this choice.

Come now, my little impish plaything We both made our choice

What's left for me and my broken heart If I cannot have you?

What's left for me in this broken house If I cannot have you?

I'll give you everything you need What more is there? What more to plead? Just look my way, just look my way What can there be that I don't know? Will you never tell or be so bold? Just say, "please stay" Look my way

Is this what you feel? Scorned by a realm that cannot comprehend What you are, so I'll grant you this mercy this bind on our souls needs to end

Is this how she'd feel? Abandoned, all alone and left to fend for herself for some semblance of happiness that doesn't have to end

The official version just makes Stolas into a selfish asshole! While also try to make him look better at the same time. In both versions he is lamenting the fact that Blitzø doesn't care about him, for some reason Blitz doesn't want to say he doesn't accept that Stolas actually loves him despite their status and agreement. The difference is that in the OG version Stolas actually reflects on what he'd done and how he hurt others. He knows it's his fault, but he doesn't knows how to fix it. It's not about him being sad because he is hurt, like in the official ver, but because he hurt and destroyed everything and everyone around him. In the changed version he makes everything about him.

The change that convinced me to make this post is change of "What's left for me in this broken house, If I cannot have you?" to "What's left for me and my broken heart, If I cannot have you?". I'm sorry, but this is one of those moments that make me go "Ah yes, fandom knows the characters better than the author". It's completely downplays just how much this relationship means to Stolas. I've seen a lot of criticism saying how the agreement between Blitzø and Stolas didn't really posed any threat to Stolas, because of how privileged he is, and I'm sorry, but that's such bullshit. Stolas risk everything for this relationship, despite that he gets the worst part of the stick. And he did loose it all, if Blitzø leaves him, it was all for nothing. He is a royalty! You have to be incredibly naive to think he can just do anything he wants and pay no consequences. Stolas is a tragic character of his own demise. He brought his own downfall on himself. Him choosing to cheat with Blitzø was bound to destroy his marriage, his status, his relationship with his daughter and interfere with his duty.

It just really shows where the show is heading with Stolas. Instead of actually make him a redeemable, tragic character by making him relatable in his struggles to escape his inescapable duty and, well, not being allowed to be a person (remember, he wasn't even allowed to not only show, but also feel strong emotions, even as a child on his birthday), they make him tragic, because "poor owl boy didn't get what he wants and is heartbroken :("

(If you see this as overreaction to a simple change to song's lyrics, that's because I'm not mad about this song in particular, but how the characters turned to more shallow versions of themselves in this show.)

Lyrics without highlights, separately:

[7-wonders]

Between Wrath and Mercy

Sith!Ankain Skywalker x Rebel!reader (gender-neutral)

Summary: Finding yourself in a fight with Darth Maul, you quickly realize that you're way out of your depth. Unfortunately, no one's coming to save you. Aha, unless?

Word Count: 2.0k

A note from the author: Remember how I was like, "I'm having a lot of trouble writing the words aren't coming like they used to"? I think this helped to unclog a bit of the writer's block I've had. Maybe I just need to write for a different fandom for a bit. This takes place in my Rebel!reader fic-verse (gender-neutral reader!), but before What You Stand to Lose. As always, likes, comments, and reblogs make my world go round (especially the latter two), and I hope you enjoy!

How do I keep ending up in situations like this? you wonder as you dodge yet another Sith Lord’s lightsaber strike and immediately counter it with your own.

That’s a stupid question, because you know how. You decided to join the Rebel Alliance, to fight for a noble cause, and now your life is pretty consistently put in mortal danger. Still, when a mission to try and convince the head of Crimson Dawn that you were all fighting for the same goal was proposed, you were the first to volunteer. Maybe it’s a desperation to prove yourself as useful that made you do it, or maybe you need to remind yourself that you’re working for something good. Regardless, you had been stupid and self-assured, enough so that General Kessyk had given you a small team to command and sent you on your way to Corellia.

Said small team is now incapacitated, rendered useless almost the moment you had ambushed the Crimson Dawn leader who had turned out to be none other than Darth Maul—a surprise to you all, since Dryden Voss is the public face of the syndicate. This revelation completely turned your game plan on its head, as you’re now left to face his wrath alone.

And he has a lot of wrath.

“Look, if you would just listen for a moment,” you yell at him over the sound of electricity humming, “I think you would see that we all want the same thing!”

“And what thing is that?” Darth Maul snarls, raising his blade above his head and attempting to crash it down on top of you.

You meet it with your own, gritting your teeth under the strain as you attempt to hold him back. “The end of the Galactic Empire!”

He bears down harder in response, and your arms begin to shake. Knowing when to give up some yield is half the success in battle, so you adjust your strategy and drop to your knees, doing a quick roll to get some space in between you. He turns to face you once more, his yellow eyes so filled with hatred that it makes a frightened whimper get stuck in your throat.

“Please, we only came to talk. We can be allies!” you plead.

“What happens after the Empire is defeated? We part on good terms and go our separate ways?” Maul shakes his head, twirling his saber and stalking towards you. “No. At the end of the day, the Sith will always be an enemy. I will always be an enemy.”

“I’m sure that—woah!” He renews his attacks with vigor, clearly done talking. Unfortunately for him, you’re not done. “I’m sure that the Rebel Alliance would be happy to negotiate some sort of treaty.”

“I have had enough of arrogant little Force users thinking that they can change the galaxy with ‘the power of goodness,’” he mocks. “You are not the first to approach me with your misguided ideals.”

Maul kicks the center of your chest and sends you falling to the ground, a position you never want to find yourself in when fighting for your life. Attempting to scramble backward is made extra difficult with the lightsaber in your hand, and it’s only delaying the inevitable as Maul follows you slowly, a predator stalking his prey. With a firm smack, your saber goes flying out of your reach.

He holds his lightsaber to your chest and smirks down at you as it burns a hole through the fabric of your shirt. “But you will be the last.”

You raise both hands up in a last-ditch plea, though you know it’s for naught. This is it. You’ve lost. You’ll become just another name on the long list of lives lost as sacrifices for the fight for a better tomorrow.

Though you’d like to say that a sense of peace comes over you as you stare your impending death in the eyes, that’s not the case. You’re scared out of your mind, actually, and the only thing comforting you is the fact that it’ll be a quick death. With that in mind, you close your eyes and await the inevitable.

But the inevitable never comes. Where you were expecting pain and darkness, there’s simply darkness from screwing your eyes shut. After a couple of long moments, you hesitantly open your eyes. Darth Maul no longer looms over you. Instead, he’s a few feet away, engaged in battle with someone else.

“It was foolish of me to believe that Kenobi could actually finish the job and successfully kill somebody for once,” he spits, twirling his saber in his hand as another red saber clashes with his.

“You said it, not me!”

Belatedly, you realize that you know that cocky, annoying voice. Sure enough, Darth Vader is now Darth Maul’s opponent, and he’s faring much better than you had. His helmet is off, allowing you to see the arrogant grin he’s sporting, and his blond curls fly around his face as he swings his lightsaber through the air.

“Vader?” you call, still feeling like your eyes are deceiving you. 

He looks over at you, his grin somehow getting bigger. “C’mon, get up and help me out!”

You stumble to your feet and call your lightsaber back to your hand using the Force, but remain back. Vader doesn’t need your help, because he’s very clearly winning. You would only be a hindrance if you were to join, so instead, you watch.

Even if you didn’t know that the two Sith lords had been trained for a very long time, their fighting styles would make it obvious. The way that they move, so fluidly and deadly, is an art form. It almost looks like a dance, if a dance could end in somebody’s death.

“Darth Sidious won’t be pleased when he finds out you’re helping out the Rebel Alliance,” Darth Maul taunts, bending over backward to avoid a swing.

Darth Vader curses at the near-miss. “Oh, but I’m not.”

“Then what do you call this?”

He looks over his shoulder and winks at you. “Helping the one particular Rebel that I have a vested interest in.”

“Pathetic!” Darth Maul spits.

Vader’s lightsaber makes contact with the palm of Maul’s hand, and he yells out in pain. He catches his saber with his other hand before it can fall to the ground, but he’s unable to grip it with both hands now. Though he could fight one-handed, against somebody as talented as Darth Vader, he wouldn’t be very successful. The light from his saber disappears as he extinguishes it, giving one curt nod before he backs off.

“This is not the end,” he promises.

“No, I don’t believe it is.”

Though Vader could very easily finish him, there are rules to a battle. When one willingly concedes, the fight is over, no matter how much the other wishes that it wasn’t. You and Vader both watch as Maul makes it to his ship and escapes, flying high above your heads and away from Corellia.

Vader turns his attention to you, wrapping his large hands around your upper arms and looking you up and down. “Are you alright?”

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?”

“You were the one about to die.”

“I had it under control,” you claim, even though you very much did not have it under control. “And I didn’t need you to save me.”

“Oh, you didn’t? That’s not what it looked like to me.” 

His fingers move to the open hole in your shirt left by Maul’s lightsaber above your heart. The skin there is shiny from a light burn—it’s nothing that will hinder you in the long run, but it does sting a bit, especially when Vader lightly touches this wound. You hiss through your teeth, but he doesn’t move.

“Your heart is beating so fast,” he notes, his voice soft from concentration.

Your cheeks burn at this because you know there are a couple of reasons for your racing heart, and only one of them is from the exertion of battle. Wiggling your hands up, you get enough of a space that you can lightly push yourself away from Vader.

“What are you—how did you know that I would be here?” you demand, having been under the assumption that everybody had done very well in making sure this was a top-secret mission.

“We received some intel that the Rebel Alliance would be making a rather stupid attempt at reaching out to Crimson Dawn. I was going to just let Maul have at it, but then I thought, ‘What are the odds that my Rebel would be involved in this?’”

“I am not your Rebel.” The way that he looks at you, like you mean something to him, makes your heart clench in a way that you don’t want to consider right now. Onto the next subject, then. “Why did you help me in the first place? You could have let him kill me. You should have let him kill me, actually. Would have saved you a lot of trouble.”

“I don’t want you dead.”

You roll your eyes. “Of course, you just want me to join you and go against every one of my morals.”

“I still have morals, Rebel. If you were willing to listen, to be open-minded, I think you’d find that the Dark Side is not evil. Where the Light Side wanted their Jedi to shirk all of their emotions and attachments, the Dark Side encourages those emotions. Anger, sadness, passion…love. Sith believe in a world where we’re all free to feel what we want, to allow that which scares us to be out in the open so that we may overpower it. You can’t tell me that this sounds evil.”

You remain silent, because you don’t know what to think. With how Vader puts it, the Dark Side doesn’t sound all evil. Actions speak louder than words, however, and you’ve seen the terror and devastation that the Empire and the Dark Side have unleashed on the galaxy. You’re not willing to dwell on it right now (or ever, really; just thinking about the possibility of Vader’s words having some validity makes you feel like you’re betraying the Rebel Alliance), so you force it to the back of your mind and refuse to think about it any longer.

“Well, I think my work here is done,” Vader declares with a sigh, clipping his saber back onto his belt.

You look at him in confusion. “Wait, you’re not…going to force me to be your apprentice? I mean, now’s kind of the perfect time.” You don’t want him to do so, but you were sure you knew what his end goal was, since he’s made it clear every other time you’ve encountered him.

“It is,” he agrees. “But I’ve decided that it does no good to have you join me against your will. When the time comes, you’ll give yourself to me—to the Dark Side willingly.”

He sounds so sure of this, like it’s a foregone conclusion. You’re about to argue, to insist once more that you’ll never join him, when you hear groaning behind you.

“Looks like your crew is starting to come to,” Vader notes. “I’ll see you soon.”

You don’t doubt that, but you won’t let him know that. “I sure hope not.”

He laughs, already walking to his own ship. “Make sure to get that burn checked out so that it doesn’t get infected!” he yells to you.

The groaning gets louder before you can tell him to not tell you what to do, and somebody calls your name sluggishly. Your pilot is trying to roll over onto his hands and knees, and the others aren’t far behind him in waking up. You get ready to help, as all good Rebels do—because that’s what you are, someone good and helpful and nothing at all like the Sith Lord that increasingly occupies your thoughts as of late.

You’re not like him, you tell yourself, and you’ll do everything in your power to ensure that you won’t ever be like him.

[ofthebrownajah]

Now why did I just see a tweet that said "Let's be real the writing and production value on HoTD is scores above WoT." Can we go a single day without comparing two completely different genres of fantasy.

You're never gonna convince me of that anyway cause I'm always gonna be WoT biased cause that story is more compelling to me than anything about Westeros 🤷🏼‍♀️ but that's just my personal opinion.

Fandoms stop presenting your opinions as objective fact challenge

[vavialdavi]

Frozen fandom, I have a message for you!

Y'all really need to calm down on the asumptions cause it's possible that none of them turn on canon. I'm gonna adress the two big ones: Norse myth and Hans (by extension Helsa)

Unless, we've heard completely different speeches, Jennifer Lee never mentionned Norse myth. The castle in the sky could be Asgard as much as it could not. Let's not forget the question castle ruins in Ahtohallan. Ahtohallan already being its own entity. Norse myth could play a role in F3 and F4 as well as it could not. Yes, Frozen has inspirations and references to Norse myth, but it's not the only one . One thing you tend to forget is the great inspiration of Saami culture the Frozen franchise have, especially in the second movie. It would be more logical if they keep that way for the new movies instead of going after Norse myth as their main base. Nothing's confirmed.

Y'all have the right to make every theory you want but, keep in mind that at the end of the day, they remain theories. Mrs Lee told us to not hold onto that concept art. Let's consider all possibilities. It could be completely wipped off and we wouldn't know before 2027. Don't forget they were still chanoine the script a few months before F2 premiere and that Elsa was villian before Mrs got involved in the project. We're never sure with Frozen.

I'ma be fully honest, I don't want Hans to be a relevant character again and I'm quite fine with him being a joke along the franchise. The idea of a redemption arc with him having a positive role in the sisters' story, the possibility of Helsa even more make me sick. BUT all I'm about to say could also apply to my views on Honeymaren and elsamaren.

"Coming out of Frozen 2, we still have some questions. A lot of questions. That is just page one. Now you see why it will take two films to answer them. Just a tease, once again just a tease." These are Mrs Lee's words

This more looks like a list of the questions they've received. Rather than the ones F3 and F4 are gonna answer. Mrs Lee didn't say that. Considering the fact that the first two are already answered. Ahtohallan. The fifth spirit is the human spirit, Elsa and Anna are the bridge between spirits and humans (one side of each). Just watch Frozen 2 and the Myth short, please.

But let's say, all of these questions are gonna get answered. Some of them can just be mentionned a few seconds. And It's still not a confirmation of Hans's return and even less of a potential redemption arc. You can theorize what you want but Hans could also remain a blatant franchise joke. Or we could just see a memory of him in Ahtohallan showing what he became. Mrs Lee didn't confirm which characters are coming back for the sequels (even though it seems clear our five MCs and the Nokk are). We don't know anything about Hans's future.

1- Long story short, I'm not telling y'all what you should believe or not, I'm just asking to not act like what is NOT confirmed is. Don't hold too much on your asumptions cause you might end up not appreciating the actual movies if none of them happens. As an elsamaren shipper, I feel what I say.

2- I also fear y'all might start a new misinformation wave. Critical thinking and media literacy being concepts unknown in most of the fandoms, it can turn out really bad. I haven't forgotten how dirty some of you did Honeymaren just you didn't like the idea of lesbian Elsa. To this day, there are still being convinced she is her cousin. I remember really well how many people fall for that ai fake news made by a SATIRE disney account that Elsa was getting married to a woman in F3...

[yggdraseed]

An Incomplete Analysis of the Sukunadome

I stress the point that this is an inherently incomplete analysis. It's getting late, I'm tired and unhappy, and… well, the fight isn't over yet, so there's no way this analysis could be complete even if I felt like it. However, it's on my mind, and I feel the need to start exerting myself more on these things. Sometimes sweat is the better medicine. I know this is a long one and doesn’t have any pictures, but if we all support each other, we’ll get through it together.

Full disclosure, I wish more people had gotten filtered by this fight and just stopped talking about Jujutsu Kaisen by now. Like yeah, I think it's great different people see things in different ways, but let's all be honest with ourselves here, most of the people criticizing this fight are not doing so with any sort of literary or artistic perspective or good faith. Most of it is Gojo fans who are still crying, seething, vomiting, pissing, and shitting over the fact that the character they attached their ego to didn't win Jujutsu Kaisen like they wanted. If this describes you, well, this post will probably do you some good, but I'm confident nobody who takes the stance that Gojo should have won would have the space in their mind for what I'm about to say about Sukunadome.

Because that's what I'm calling it. "The Sukuna Cycle" was maybe a little funny for a week or two, but like most memes about this series, it wasn't really based on the story so much as it was on an agenda. Kusakabe was part of the fight since Yuji and Higuruma entered, and up until Miguel, we knew all the combatants who would be tagging in were there. We knew Yuta was off dealing with Kenjaku and would return, we knew Maki was in play, and there really weren't a lot of switches. Just Choso leaving and coming back, Ui Ui retrieving Higuruma's and Gojo's corpses, and… you know, actually, I think that's it. Sure isn't as much as the "Sukuna Cycle" memes made it out to be, huh?

Okay, if you haven't noticed yet, I'm a big JJK fan and a big JJK fandom hater. I think JJK has the worst Western internet fanbase I've seen in a long time, with only a few oases scattered across the internet where you can find intelligent life. Like it's insane what kind of bullshit a person can convince themselves of.

However, I'm not analyzing JJK's fanbase, I'm analyzing JJK. Someday we'll litigate whether or not Lobotomy Kaisen was really funny enough to justify how badly it ruined this fanbase's ability to objectively, productively engage with with one of the most competently written and culturally impactful manga to come out this century. Today is not that day.

So Sukuna's got four arms and knows how to use them. He's got four eyes and so much sass one mouth wasn't enough for the amount of trash he's got to talk to the youths of today. Just on a basic level, having four arms would be such an insignificant power in any other Shonen as to almost be a joke. Yet with how jujutsu sorcery functions as a power system and how adept Sukuna is at using every possible advantage at his disposal - even going so far as to take what probably should be disadvantages and twist them to work for him - having the ability to make hand seals while fighting hand-to-hand, and being able to chant without interrupting his breathing, are inseparable from Sukuna's godlike fighting ability. I love how something seemingly so mundane is such a huge x factor for Sukuna.

We continually see how Sukuna is a complex, but fundamentally vile antagonist. He has a very rich, detailed view of the world, but one that fundamentally reduces every other human being to be his playthings and food. It's just that Sukuna says, "Don't like it? Then get stronger." It's a very Social Darwinist, late stage capitalist view to be coming from the Heian Era, and I think that maybe it's intentional. Shitty people are shitty in mostly the same ways, it's just they find new things to be shitty about or to use to be shitty with.

Like if that were all it is, it'd make Sukuna so effective as a villain to hate and would slot so nicely into Jujutsu Kaisen's overarching social and political commentary. Cruelty within suffering, selfishness as a strength and a weakness, the unfairness of how the strength to pursue one's agency is unevenly distributed and how the haves don’t realize how easily they could have instead been have-nots, it's all there.

But there’s this inherent charisma to Sukuna that I think is intentional. He has this noblesse oblige where he’s so inherently aware of his greatness that he doesn’t have a problem with giving credit where credit is due. Like he talks all the trash when he’s fighting Jogo, but where Gojo’s insults come across as puerile and blunt, Sukuna’s always displaying this wit to him. And when the battle’s over, he acknowledges that even though Jogo wasn’t as strong as him, he was stronger than most and could have gone even further if he hadn’t held himself back. He starts off belittling Gojo in their fight, but by the end, he expresses a profound respect and gratitude towards Gojo. Like it’s a very warped form of those sentiments, but I think it’s sincere. Even with Ishigori, when Sukuna fails to cut him the first time, he just acknowledges it was disrespectful to hold back and that he’ll give it full force the next strike.

Something to keep in mind is that everything Megumi warned Yuji about when it comes to ancient sorcerers applies to Sukuna as well. They’re not treated as uniformly, unambiguously evil anymore than anyone else in JJK is, and are acknowledged as having fundamentally different world views about violence and the value of human life. Kashimo, for instance, seems to value his life only because he’s able to risk his life and lay it on the line. They’re people from an era where children died so young that parents often gave them numbered names so as to not get too attached until they’d see if their kids actually were going to make it or not. If you didn’t give your whole life over to a goal, you probably wouldn’t achieve it. Whereas modern sorcerers, modern people, have all these complex and sometimes contradictory views and needs, ancient sorcerers show a tendency to shave everything away except their one singular conviction because that was what you had to do in an era of much shorter life expectancies and peril on all sides. You’d be very lucky to accomplish one life goal, let alone as many as people of today set out to achieve: graduating high school, graduating college, getting a job, starting a family, and hopefully having one or two passions on the side. Fundamentally different worldviews from fundamentally different periods of history.

And Sukuna is no different. His goal is simple: partake in the many colors and flavors of humanity through mortal combat in the arena of sorcery. Sukuna’s love for sorcery runs deep. He’s always curious about different cursed techniques, even ones that are pedestrian to a sorcerer of his level, like Nanako’s smartphone-based technique. He reminds me of a quote from Baki: “Someone who works hard can never beat someone who enjoys himself.” Sukuna has clearly put forth great effort to master sorcery, but clearly doesn’t see it as work. He sees it as just doing what he enjoys and is good at.

Unfortunately for everyone else, he enjoys killing and is extremely good at it. Sukuna is the ultimate ethical heat death of the “live for yourself, cherish your own agency, don’t let yourself be controlled” mindset that is the ideological starting point of JJK. It’s a very dark, extreme interpretation of Buddhist non-attachment, where even compassion is an attachment to ultimately shed. Sukuna lives perfectly freely, including being free from guilt or compassion.

Naturally, there’s an exception. All things seem to have exceptions. In Sukuna’s case, that would be Uraume. I’ve been fascinated by their dynamic since we first learned of Uraume’s allegiance to Sukuna during Shibuya and I still can’t wait to know more. Suffice to say, Sukuna dotes on Uraume, forgiving their mistakes and seeming to enjoy their company not just because of their service to him, but because their existence makes him happy. I’m reminded of Power in Chainsaw Man, how she was seemingly incapable of empathy or mercy until she met Meowy.

Honestly, Sukuna reminds me a lot of a lot of characters in Chainsaw Man. People who are trying to climb from this state of misery, of struggling just to meet basic desires, and learning to be human. Yet Sukuna is so strong he never needed to learn to be human. He never needed to cooperate with others to survive — or at least, doesn’t seem to believe he did — and so he never saw the value in it. And so he’s basically brute forced his way around having to undergo an arc like Denji’s, and has instead ended up a hedonistic black hole devising all these complicated philosophical arguments to justify what is, really, a very simplistic, predatory desire to only satisfy his basic material wants and creative interests and nothing else for anyone else.

But like, it’s not that simple. If you give to others, you get something immaterial in return. I can’t quantity it or define it, but I’m sure most of you know what I mean. The happiness that comes from taking care of others’ needs, and the deeper levels beyond that happiness. Like I do believe that’s the subtext behind Binding Vows as metaphor: that you almost never give without getting in return. You might not get the same thing back, in the same form, but being changed by the act of putting the needs and wants of others before your own even temporarily still is part of the exchange. It’s part of becoming complete as a human being.

Sukuna has defied that exchange and broken the cycle, and I don’t think it’s inherently for his own benefit. There are some thing about being human that you don’t just get to opt out of, no matter how much you claim you’re more than or less than human. Even if Sukuna doesn’t think he’s lost something of value, he has. And that something of value is inherent to the whole point of this final battle.

Jujutsu Kaisen is basically working on two big problems. There are lots of ideas at play in the series, but there are two fundamental problems for which every fiight, every character arc, every turn of the gears consitutes part of the calculus to solve one or both of those problems.

The first problem, a thematic and philosophical one: “How do you love and fight for something when you know you’re going to die?”

The second problem, a metatextual one: “Is there any artistic and social value left in the Shonen formula as it stands in the modern day?”

And this fight is, ultimately, where GeGe is showing their work. It’s where Yuji has to defeat Sukuna, if not in terms of out-boxing him, then in terms of prevailing over his beliefs about humanity and the world as a whole.

GeGe has stripped Yuji of everything that is supposed to determine the worth of a Shonen protagonist’s victory. He’s not fighting alone, he didn’t go off and train all by himself, he trained with a lot of powerful, smart people who helped him. And Yuji is arguably not even the most important participant in the fight. So why should we care if Yuji wins?

The answer is so simple it’s easy to lose track of it. Yuji is risking his life to rescue someone, his friend, from being exploited, and to save the people of Japan from being exploited. Even after everything that’s happened, Yuji plants his fucking feet and takes a stance that no, shithead, there is such a thing as the right thing. Maybe it isn’t obvious all the time, and it sure as hell isn’t always easy to know what it is, but he knows now with certainty what it isn’t: to exploit others or to destroy yourself. We can find our answers somewhere in-between.

Sometimes we can’t resolve our problems with a tidy solution that makes everyone happy and sometimes we have to carve a piece of ourselves out and give to something we won’t be sure to see the fruition of, but that’s just life. It doesn’t mean we have to throw away all hope for things to get better. Even if the world won’t become utopian, it can still become better, no matter how many nihilists hide their own inequities behind assertions that there is no point.

Nihilism is not a solution to the problems of life, it is the choice to run away and hide. To give into nihilism is to give up the fight even while other people are still fighting all around you.

So that’s the fucking point of the Sukunadome. Nobara already said it better than anyone else has before she made Mahito look like the bitch he was and always will be: “Sometimes you need to fight even when you know you can’t win.” Because you won’t always win and you won’t escape death, nor will you know what lies beyond death. However, you can still live according to your principles and fight for the things you see as meaningful even if other people don’t.

That is why so many characters have come and gone from the fight. All gave some, some gave all. Nobody is truly useless — even if Miwa self-deprecatingly jokes about being useless, she still was the one thing standing between Maki and Malevolent Shrine’s eviscerating hellscape. Even Amai’s sweets-conjuring joke technique saved Hana from a would-be fatal fall and helped to supply sugar to the brains of people using reverse cursed technique in Shoko’s triage. Larue couldn’t do much, but they caught Sukuna’s eye at the perfect time for Yuji to land a Black Flash, and that means something. It all means something.

Given how deeply GeGe clearly respects Hunter X Hunter, I want to end off by citing one of the quotes in Hunter X Hunter that has been the most impactful for me and I suspect has been about as impactful on GeGe: “It seems small things… infinitesimally small things… are needed to build the entire universe. The size of a thing has nothing to do with its power.” We always seem to direct our senses to the superlatives. The largest, the oldest, the loudest, the things that hit the hardest. But while it would be wrong to throw those out, we often lose sight of how many little, important things there are in the midst of those huge, important things.

Seeing someone’s smile when you remembered something they said that showed you were listening to them. The feeling of a warm breeze on a summer morning. The smell of honeysuckle on your walk home. Waking up to rain on a Sunday. The taste of watermelon. Getting married. Having your heart broken. Songs that make you smile, songs that make you cry — songs that do both, and songs that make you feel things you can’t describe. When you’re always looking to those immense, monolithic things, always comparing your seemingly small, seemingley meaningless life to them, you lose sight of just how meaningful all of it is.

Just because it doesn’t have cosmic, absolute meaning doesn’t make it meaningless. Every little thing that means something to you is worthy of being cherished. The people around you, the things that bring you happiness, even if that happiness is going to ebb and flow. It’s all worth fighting for and living for. It just takes bravery and conviction to keep fighting and keep living with authenticity and love. And if there’s an artistic value, a greater meaning to Shonen, now and always, it’s the unerring, unabashed belief that there’s a reason to aim high and not give up.

Because sometimes, life hurts. But if it’s just pain, Yuji Itadori will never stop. We’ll see what I have to amend, reconsider, or elaborate on when the fight is finished. I hope this gave some of you a new way to look at it.

[sadquickchristmassnowman]

hey so i’m new to the community fandom and i really love trobed. i was wondering what was your trobed centric episode masterlist like? or if it’s possible, is there a way to send me the post? sorry i’m new to tumblr so i’m still learning how this app works. if you see this, thanks :)

hi, welcome! I've found that community tumblr is probably my favorite fandom space I've ever been involved in, and I hope you've had a good experience so far. I totally get the New App Learning Curve thing, I'm historically very shit at learning how to use new apps, even though I'm "young" (20), but I eventually got it and you will too, Trust 👍👍👍

anyway, Yes one of the first things I did on here after joining was make a trobed-centric episode masterlist for someone who was asking lmfao. since it was one of the First things I did there's some formatting and other things I'd do differently now, and I've actually been looking for an excuse to go ahead and get that done, so. here we go.

the trobed-centric episode masterlist (revamped)

1x05: advanced criminal law

plot B

abed takes the "friends mess with each other" rule too far; he creates a whole fake language and spends a lot of money on trying to convince troy that he is an alien

"from now on, abed, friends don't mess with each other"

(this is the first time they do their signature handshake)

1/5 gayness, pretty platonic

1x10: environmental science

plot B

it's the "somewhere out there" episode what more do I need to say

3/5 gayness, something's happening fs

1x11: the politics of human sexuality

plot C

abed keeps beating troy in athletic competitions, making troy feel threatened. he eventually admits that abed is the better athlete and they make up

2/5 gayness, pretty platonic but it has its moments

1x22: the art of discourse

plot C

troy and abed work to complete abed's list of quintessential freshman year of college experiences list

2/5 gayness, they repeatedly put completing the list above looking cool in front of women

1x25: pascal's triangle revisited

plot C

troy is moving out of his dad's house and wants to move in with abed, but abed says no because he's afraid being that close and spending that much time together will result in constant annoyance, and will destroy their friendship

troy realizes that "too much of a good thing can be bad" and instead agrees to move in with pierce

1/5 gayness

2x02: accounting for lawyers

part of plot A

jeff gets sucked back into his old life as he reconnects with alan, a coworker from his old law firm. troy, abed, and annie try to gather proof that jeff's friend is the one who got him fired in the first place

more trobedison centric, and is actually the first episode where the three of them are established as a Trio™

"all I heard was suck" "YOU CHLOROFORMED THE JANITOR" "I usually have one foot out of reality and even I'm freaking out right now"

1/5 gayness, pretty platonic. they're the sillies ever I love trobedison

2x06: epidemiology

part of plot A

it's the zombie episode, come ON

trobed have coordinating costumes but troy bails during the party because he doesn't want to look lame and nerdy in front of women, which hurts abed's feelings

abed sacrifices himself to save troy once they are the last two standing during the "rabies pathogen" breakout

"I love you" "I know" (oh my GODDD sedate me)

5/5 gayness. you get it.

2x09: conspiracy theories and interior design

plot B

the original blanket fort 💯💯💯

2/5 gayness, just guys bein silly (and in love???)

2x15: early 21st century romanticism

plot B

troy and abed fall for the same girl and decide to take her to the valentine's dance together, after which she can decide which one of them she wants to date

she picks troy, but troy gets upset that she didn't pick abed (because why wouldn't she pick abed, he's so cool) and breaks it off almost immediately

I"happy valentine's day" "it is now"

5/5 gayness jesus christ this one is INSANE

2x18: custody law and eastern european diplomacy

plot B

britta likes troy and abed's new friend, lukka, who she finds out is a literal war criminal. she keeps this information from troy and abed because she doesn't want to ruin their friendship with him, but they find out eventually

2/5 gayness they're attached at the hip in this one

2x19: critical film studies

random moments

this episode is more focused on jeff and abed, but there's a lot of classic Troy Gets Jealous™ moments so I decided to include it. plus the end tag is them randomly having dinner together at the fancy restaurant (a date 😔)

basically troy is afraid that jeff is a cooler friend to abed than him

3/5 gayness even though they barely interact, troy is so silly

2x20: competitive wine tasting

part of plot B

I almost didn't include this one, and it's not even on my original list, but whatever

troy pretends to be traumatized, originally to seem less shallow in his acting class, but he keeps it going in order to attract britta. he tells abed about it and abed Does Not Like That At All

"troy. nothing good can come of this"

I wouldn't call abed being jealous a Rare Occurrence but he generally conceals it way better than troy does

2/5 gayness, could be interpreted as abed just worried about relationships forming under false pretense, but to Me he's jealous

2x22: applied anthropology and culinary arts

plot C

pierce buys the rights to troy and abed's handshake (a la Indecent Proposal) which "corrupts" it

"pierce tainted our special handshake with his blood money and now we can't get the magic baaaack :((((("

eventually they do indeed get the magic back

3/5 gayness idk there's something about the way they interact in this one that is inexplicably gay to me lmao

3x01: biology 101

plot C plus random moments

"speaking of figuring things out, me and abed have an announcement" "..." "troy and I are living together :D"

cougartown gets moved to midseason, then cougarton abbey ends after 6 episodes, abed's routine keeps getting thrown off, and troy is just extremely supportive and protective throughout

4/5 gayness troy loves him a lot!!!!!!

3x03: remedial chaos theory

random moments

(I know this ep is listed as 3x04 on streaming services but in canon it takes place here and on the dvds it's listed as 3x03. there's a joke about it in the episode too if you didn't know. anyway)

"troy and abed's new apartment!!!" "bienvenido a la casa chez trobed!" "wanna stay up all night talking in our bunk beds?"

all their pictures on the wall and their matching suits lol

the end tag "evil troy and evil abed" & troy's soft "what's wrong :("

3/5 gayness they're lowkey married your honor

3x05: horror fiction in seven spooky steps

random moments

troy's whole story he tells where they Literally become attached at the hip

"my partner"

troy dancing while abed's humming daybreak

2/5 gayness

3x06: advanced gay

plot B

troy deciding whether he wants to do plumbing or air conditioning and deciding all he really wants to do is watch tv with abed

gay symbolism? gay symbolism? gay symbolism?

4/5 gayness mostly for the conversation at the hawthorne wipes gathering. I could write an essay on just that

3x07: studies in modern movement

plot A

annie moves in with troy and abed. very trobedison centric

"kiss me woodsman troy!"

3/5 gayness once again casually in love they're soulmates your honor

3x09: foosball and nocturnal vigilantism

plot B

annie breaks abed's $200 special edition dark knight dvd set on accident, trobedison shenanigans ensue yippee!!!

"awww is that the grappling hook I got you for christmas???"

3/5 gayness for the same reasons as before

3x10: regional holiday music

part of plot A

literally putting this on here just because of the christmas infiltration rap (and baby boomer santa)

3/5 gayness it's glee club what can you do

3x11: contemporary impressionists

plot A

(once again, I know this episode is listed as 3x12 on streaming services, but in canon it's supposed to chronologically be here, and is listed as 3x11 on the dvds)

the study group helps abed pay off his debts to a celebrity impersonator website by playing characters at a bar mitzvah (after troy scolds them for trying to ground abed in reality)

they have an argument at the end ugh

3/5 gayness troy loves abed a lot and abed doesn't realize that he's doing something wrong

3x12: urban matrimony and the sandwich arts

plot C

(see the above disclaimer about episode order)

troy and abed decide to be normal for shirley's wedding rehearsal

troy and abed being normal 🤝

4/5 gayness they blow off a girl to be weird again

3x13: digital exploration of interior design

plot C

blanket fort: redux (oh god)

vice dean laybourne escalates what started as a minor disagreement in order to drive a wedge between troy and abed. it works

5/5 gayness, if a sitcom doesn't have the two codependent fanonical gays go through an unnecessarily dramatic "break up" then I don’t want it

3x14: pillows and blankets

plot A

🎶troy and abed are in conflict🎶 *cries*

pillow fort vs. blanket fort

they eventually make up but not before they hurt each others' feelings a Lot

5/5 gayness the dramatics jesus christ

3x16: virtual systems analysis

random moments

so this episode is more focused on abed and annie, and troy and abed actually don't Technically interact with each other very much at all, but. you know

abed kinda freaks out when troy and britta go on a date because it "messes with the fabric of the group" (🤨 I know what you are)

troy calls annie to "check on abed" boy you are on a date with a woman

4/5 gayness just from subtext you get it

3x17: basic lupine urology

random moments

troy and abed play detective as they try to figure out who sabotaged the group's biology project

"we can't both do the zinger"

4/5 gayness no explanation

3x19: curriculum unavailable

random moments

the study group is expelled from greendale and abed gets arrested for spying on campus, so he's supposed to have a psychological evaluation

troy is just very protective of him in this episode, plus the flashback clip where he and Annie are comforting him as he's freaking out about daylight savings

"our adventures are VERY manly"

4/5 gayness

3x21: the first chang dynasty

random moments

oof baboof with you two! (all the plumber shenanigans are hilarious)

mostly putting this one on here for the goodbye scene at the end of the episode, though. god

"he said, 'I know you hate when people do this in movies.' sorry I got emotional"

3x22: introduction to finality

plot B

abed "goes crazy" without troy (who's off at a/c repair school)

when troy comes back he prioritizes abed over britta (who he supposedly has romantic feelings for)

"I miss abed so much" "you're afraid you'll go crazy without troy"

4/5 gayness one could say they're a little codependent

4x03: conventions of space and time

plot A

troy gets jealous of (read: goes "psycho girlfriend on") abed's new inspector spacetime superfan friend toby

britta, even as troy's literal girlfriend, calls abed troy's boyfriend and supports troy through the whole thing

"for the first time in my long history of being locked inside things, I knew someone would come" let me just put my head through my wall really quick

5/5 gayness even though troy has a whole gf. that's how gay this episode is

4x11: basic human anatomy

plot A

troy and abed pretend to switch bodies, like in freaky friday, in order to help troy process his feelings about his relationship with britta

5/5 gayness holy SHIT y'all. I could write thousands of words on this episode. it is so hard to justify troy's actions in this one without reading him as a closeted gay person not lying

5x03: basic intergluteal numismatics

random moments

including this one because of how abed comforts troy and pushes him around in a wheelchair for the entire episode

3/5 gayness it's the casual married-ness again smh

5x04: cooperative polygraphy

random moments

this is another one I didn't include on my original list but I decided fuck it

the bit uncovering the actual origin of their patented handshake is so funny "I can't even look at you right now" "then you should know I'm crying"

also just the. look on abed's face when troy agrees to go on the trip at the end. "cool. cool cool cool." "that's a lie" UGHHHHH

4/5 gayness again. so typical

5x05: geothermal escapism

plot A

do I need to say a word

ouch ouch ouch OUCH

5/5 gayness especially the deleted dialogue from the last scene (I've posted it before but lmk if you don't know what I'm talking about. disclaimer it makes me want to launch myself off the empire state building)

alright. there it is folks. I was going to make another subsection of other random iconic trobed moments and cite the episodes they're from but basically every single episode has at least one, so that list would be Way too long to qualify as a supplement to this one lmao. however! if you have a Trobed Moment™ stuck in your head (or any Moment for that matter) and you can't remember which episode it's from feel free to ask me, I'm confident that my internal community database will be able to Remind You. anyway. hope this was helpful. bye

[lemotmo]

This was an interesting ask. Also I never thought of them as maybe being the same person. Do we think they might actually be the same person? Because that kind of makes sense 😳

Q. I know you're not answering anymore B/T questions but I would like your advice or opinion on something. I was/am a Buddie shipper. I will fully admit that I went over to the B/T side of things when they went canon but the closer it gets to the new season the more my Buddie heart is re emerging. But I'm concerned with how I'll be received back in that tag. I made B/T edits and everything so I'm not sure I'm welcome anymore. Should I change my blog name and start over? Just pretend like it never happened and hope no one calls me out? Or make a post about it and then not talk about it again? Genuinely interested in your opinion. Thanks in advance!

A. Hi anon, obviously I can only speak for myself here, but I would say it depends on what your behavior was like this off-season. It was not unexpected that some people would ship the current canon. What was unexpected was how nasty everything became as a result. I'm not going to point fingers one way or the other in this reply. Because we all know where everyone pretty much stands on that issue. If you stayed in your lane, so to speak, and just made your edits and enjoyed the content you saw, I don't think most people will have an issue. However if you were one of the ones going from blog to blog threatening people, calling them names or sending them hate messages, you're going to have a harder time. How you choose to re enter the tag is entirely up to you. If it were me though, I would probably make a post about it just so everyone knew where I stood now. But I'm analytical that way and that does not work for everyone. You're not obligated to defend or explain your taste. If you feel your behavior requires an explanation of some kind then how you choose to explain yourself is entirely up to you.

I will say that you're not the first person to message saying you've decided you really do prefer the other ship. Myself and many other blogs have received lots of similar messages. That was always going to happen. The novelty was always going to wear off. It's part of fandom. People come and people go. It's a ship with very little context. So it's difficult to keep large numbers of people interested. It's why they've resorted to suddenly having insider information from multiple, completely made up, sources. None of these people are real. They're trying to convince people to stay and this was the best they could come up with. I will say the set designer insider was the most amusing. Because basic media knowledge should have figured into their nonsense at least a little bit. You don't build sets for non main cast members (and we already have confirmation that he didn't get promoted to a main). And you certainly don't give the directive of 'masculine with MMA stuff' as your set description( give me a call break). It's utterly nonsensical and ridiculous that anyone would believe any of it. Or that anyone would be that desperate for followers. There are two people, anon, that I can think of who would never be welcome on my blog, and I'm starting to believe they're both actually the same person. If anyone has proof of them really being two different people please feel free to share because I really am starting to think it's all one person. As long as you're not that person/people then I think you can find your way back. It's fandom and at the end of the day fandom is supposed to be fun. Enjoy what you enjoy without insulting others and you will be fine. 😉

Thank you Nonny!

I admit that I hesitated on posting this. I don't want people to come jump at me for posting this ask. But the original asker asked a very interesting question, so here goes nothing...

Listen, fandom is supposed to be fun. It's a happy place where we indulge in our love for fictional characters. It isn't all that serious. I love coming online in the evenings (or quickly in the mornings) to look at some fandom stuff and reblog some things. I love it here and I love 911, but it doesn't consume me.

I wouldn't have time to let it consume me. I'm a single working mom. For me fandom is a nice way to relax. A place to get lost in for a while and then go back to the real world. It's fun.

So yeah, there is no requirement or list of things you need to get through to step inside of a fandom. You just start posting about it.

When 7x04 aired, I never made it a secret that I didn't vibe with Tommy. I posted about it, looking for like-minded people. That's when I got my first hate messages about being homophobic for not liking Tommy or not vibing with BT.

As time went on, I admit that I got angry there for a while for being accused of things that weren't true. I 'stayed in my lane' and, after my initial BT posts where I was critical of their relationship, I stopped using the BT tag or Tommy tag, because it didn't feel right and I wanted to avoid getting hate.

But yeah, I was angry for people getting upset for my opinions on a fictional character. So yeah, I lashed out in a few posts and I'm not proud of that, but I also soon realised that it didn't solve anything. It only created more hate. (That's also why I don't post anything BT fandom related these days, except for this post. But this isn't about hate. This is about answering someone's question.)

There's also the fact that I've been shipping Buddie for years now and yes, I still wanted them together. Finally our moment was there. Buddie was in reach. I don't multi-ship. All respect to you if you can, but I can't do it.

All of this to say that while I am upset and angry with people who accused me and others of doing terrible things, accused me of homophobia and biphobia, dropped really nasty messages in my ask box... I'm not angry or upset with people who actually ship BT in a normal way, like we ship Buddie here on Tumblr. I'm not talking about Twitter here, because that's a very different environment than Tumblr. Tumblr makes it easier to just avoid things you don't want to see.

So ship what you want to ship. I don't care one way or the other. It's all okay. We're all in the same boat. People love what they love. But don't be nasty about it and harass people over it in their asks and comments. That's all. And this goes both ways by the way. No matter which fandom you're in, don't go seeking out people or posts to comment to or to harass. I quite often come across posts I don't agree with from both sides of the fandom, so I just ignore that post and move on. It isn't that difficult.

So yeah, if some fans want to start posting Buddie again, I don't care. Good for you. If you only want to post BT, I still don't care. Good for you! It's all good. It's only fandom.

I do think that the biggest hurdle for the OP will be the blocking. At this point half of the Buddie fandom has blocked a ton of BT fans for various reasons and yeah, half of the BT fandom has blocked a ton of Buddie fans for various reasons. It will be hard to start communicating again if we can't even see each other's posts anymore and can't communicate directly.

That's all I have to say about this. I won't be answering any more asks on this topic, because I really want to focus on the show and Buddie now.

IMPORTANT! Please don't repost this ask and/or a link that leads straight to my Tumblr account on Twitter or any other social media. Thank you!

Heads up! For anyone who is giving me the shifty eyes for reposting Ali's updates instead of reblogging. Read this.

Remember, no hate in comments, reblogs or inboxes. Let's keep it civil and respectful. Thank you.

If you are interested in more of Ali’s posts, you can find all of her posts so far under the tag: anonymous blog I love.

[steddieunderdogfics]

This week’s writer spotlight feature is: Medusapelagia! They have 131 fics written for the Stranger Things fandom and 92 of those fics are in the Steddie tag!

The nominator recommends the following works by @medusapelagia:

I'm so good at telling lies (That came from my mother's side)

You're the home my heart searched for so long

The Party

It can't rain all the time

"They are such a bright light within the Steddie Event side of the fandom! Always encouraging others and offering support. They're so creative and have a fic for everyone!!" - anonymous

Below the cut, @medusapelagia answered some questions about their writing process and some of their recommended work!

Why do you write Steddie?

Because I’m obsessed with them! It’s the first time I write fics in years and the first time I do that in English, but it was so clear that Steve and Eddie were meant to be together that I got back into reading, and then writing, Steddie fics as soon as Season 4 ended! Have you seen how they look at each other? The love story is already there! The Duffer Brothers did us a big favor and gave us the possibility to give them thousands of different stories in different timelines and different universes: how could I not join when there is so much to write?

What’s your favorite trope to READ?

I love pain: you can put my heart through a meat grinder and I'll say "Thank you!" IF you promise me a happy ending. I'm ready to cry with the characters but in the end it must be worth it, that's why Angst and Hurt/comfort are my favorite tropes (always with a happy ending).

What’s your favorite trope to WRITE?

I love writing about feelings and I need A LOT of time to get the characters where I want them, that's why almost everything I write is Slow Burn… and Angst with a happy ending, but that's another story!

What’s your favorite Steddie fic?

This is SO hard so… I’m going to cheat a little and give you three. The first fic I was obsessed with in 2022: wanna hurt you just to hear you screaming my name by DotyTakeThisDown a modern AU where Eddie is the owner of BDSM Club; My guilty pleasure: I Made Loving You A Blood Sport by Eddywow I love everything they write but this omegaverse fic it's absolutely my favorite; And my latest obsession: a man after midnight (professional dom eddie fic) a series by lydiah135 with a Transmasculine Dom Eddie.

Is there a trope you’re excited to explore in a future work but haven’t yet?

Oh yes!!! I’m working on a new troupe for my Reverse Big Bang fic (can’t spoil it, sorry) and I’m so excited about it! It’s absolutely the first time that I’m working with this troupe and I’m so eager to share it with everyone! Another new troupe I’m working on is... Supernatural. I have two fics I’m working on right now but I have many events with a deadline (I’m addicted to ST events!) so I don’t know when I will actually start to post them.

What is your writing process like?

A complete chaos! I have an idea about the beginning of my story and how I would like to end it and I try to follow a particular vibe: what happens in the middle it’s just me trying to convince my characters to get where I want them (and I must admit that we aren’t always on the same page!). A few times I tried to plot ahead and it was a peculiar feeling: on one side when I finally got the time to write (usually after dinner and before bed) I had an outline so I didn't get blank page panic, but on the other side I got bored because I already knew the story.

Do you have any writing quirks?

I’m a fast writer and I want to get to the end of the story as soon as I can (both as a reader and as a writer) which means that sometimes I have to edit and slow down the pace a bit, and… I write a lot of dialogues.

Do you prefer posting when you’ve finished writing or on a schedule?

They are two completely different ways of writing: posting on schedule assures you some interactions (which helps you get motivated to continue the story), on the other side right now I’m working on a some projects for some events and writing a complete story gives you the opportunity to fix something you might have missed or not written because in your mind it was implied (spoiler alert: probably it wasn’t!) but not having interactions can be hard, and I'm so happy I meet some friends online that can give me some pieces of advice when in doubt!

Which fic are you most proud of?

There are two (yeah… I’m cheating again! Sorry!). The first one is Guilty, because it’s the first fic I ever wrote in English, the second one is Never Again, because it’s a double timeline and a double POV and I managed to get to. the end without plotting or getting lost somewhere!

How did you get the idea for I'm so good at telling lies (That came from my mother's side)?

I saw Matthew Bourne's Swan Lake (it's a male version of the famous ballet) and, in my mind, it was perfect with Steve’s story (my headcanon Steve obviously) so I was trying to find the right plot and I had this image in my mind of the ballerina carillon and I couldn't find a way to mix those two things. Then someone on Twitter suggested an Omegaverse Ballet AU fic and it immediately clicked with me: the connection between the carillon and the Swan Lake was Omega Steve! I asked the idea owner if they were fine with me writing the story they suggested, they said yes, and I started writing it… but I didn’t post it until I was at chapter 6 or 7 because it was my first Omegaverse fic and I was scared that everyone would have hated it or that I would have written something wrong or whatever. Then two of my favorite writers wrote a post on Tumblr about the fact that everyone should write what they like and it feels obvious, right? But sometimes facing external opinions can be scary. So I gathered my courage and took it as a sign: the next day I woke up at 4 am and I posted the first chapter because I was having so much fun writing it that I decided it deserved to be shared and I’m glad I did.

When writing It can't rain all the time, what was something you didn’t expect?

That someone else would have liked it! It’s a Crow AU and the Crow is a very, very, very dark story (both the movie and the comics) but it’s one of my favorite movies ever and I saw so many similarities between Eric Draven and Eddie Munson that when the idea came to my mind I wonder how was it possible that no one else thought about it! It's peculiar that after I started to post it I saw some artists draw Eddie as Eric (maybe it was a happy coincidence, maybe it was just the algorithm, anyway I'm glad someone else saw the similarities too!).

What inspired You're the home my heart searched for so long?

That story comes from a prompt that I saw during the Steddie Holiday Exchange and I immediately fell in love with it and I was SO happy when it was assigned to me! Still… I had some difficulties at the beginning. The first version of the story wasn’t good: I was writing it from Steve’s POV and it was super sad and I started to panic a little bit because I knew I had a deadline and I didn’t want to disappoint my giftee. Thankfully I brainstormed with some friends (brainstorming is my favorite thing ever!) and finally got the idea of Famous Influencer Steve, which led me to change the POV of the story to Eddie’s POV and from that moment on everything fell in place like magic! I also had to add a few Shrek references to my story and it was a little bit tricky but in the end, I think I’m satisfied with my story.

What was your favorite part to write from I'm so good at telling lies (That came from my mother's side)?

I loved writing the OCs that perform (and sometimes live) at the Crooked Moon. The idea of the Crooked Moon is vaguely inspired by Land of the Dead in Tim Burton's The Corpse Bride: they are the strangest kind of pack ever but everything at the Crooked Moon is bright and colorful, and they give Steve the support he needs to be finally himself.

How do/did you feel writing The party?

Oh… the party is… a sad story (with a happy ending). Is anyone surprised? It's a fic I wrote for the Steddie Week, the first event I joined and at the time I wasn't even on Tumblr. I love to torture Steve (that's why no character is eager to be my favorite I think…) and I felt like his birthday should have been on a date that everyone could have forgotten easily, so I decided that his birthday was on the 25th of December: a day when everyone is busy spending time with their family while Steve would be left home alone. And just to add trauma to trauma I added my personal experience as a gift giver! I'm a pretty good one: I listen a lot, I take notes and I buy presents months before. On the other side, no one does the same for me and I usually get money which, don't get me wrong, is great, but what I like the most about gifts (and so does Steve because I'm absolutely projecting on him!) is taking the time to search for something that the other person might like. It's not about the object, per se, but it's about the time and the care you put into it, it's a way of saying "I care about you." instead of "I didn't know what to get you so buy yourself what you want." If there is any other gift giver who lives the same trauma as me we can go to therapy together!

What was the most difficult part of writing You're the home my heart searched for so long?

The smut. It was my first smut fic ever and it wasn't super easy, but luckily I had a friend who read a couple of parts of it and gave me a few pieces of advice (thank you!!!). It was a fic with a masseur Eddie: I needed to write some smut no matter what!

Do you have a favorite scene and/or line from any of your fics?

I love bratty Steve and I don’t write it enough, so this is a little banter between him and Eddie from My lucky charm, an omegaverse fic. <<Steve stiffens for a moment, then comes back to his sweet attitude and sits near Eddie, playing with his hair. “I didn’t think you were the kind of owner who plays. What do they say? Oh, yes, the house always wins, right?” “Sometimes I like some action too.” Eddie replies and takes the dice, “Why don’t you blow on my dice? For good luck.” Steve bends and blows gently on Eddie’s hand, then the owner of the casino turns toward the guard and makes a little gesture: they grab the old alpha and drag him away “You know what? I don’t think I’ll play. I don’t like these dice.” Eddie states. “Why not?” Steve asks with a little wrinkle on his perfect skin. “Because they are loaded dice.” Eddie replies and lets the dice fall on the green table with a seven. “Maybe you are just lucky.” Steve replies, still smiling. The omega has removed his patches and the sweet scent of lemon and lavender is filling the room. “I see what you are doing, sugar, but I’ll not get feral over your incredible smell. As you said, I’m the young owner of a casino, I’m trained to detect who is cheating and I will not fall for you.”>>

Do you have any upcoming projects or fics you’d like to share/promote?

At the moment I’m working really hard on my Reverse Big Bang fic and My Steddie VDay Exchange and I can’t wait to share them.

Outside of these questions, Is there anything YOU would like to add?

I’m absolutely astonished, flattered and honored that someone thought about me for Writer’s Spotlight Day so I would like to thank the person who nominated me and the mods for giving space to all the beautiful stories that we might have missed in such a big fandom. Thank you for having me and I look forward to the next fics rec! Medusa

Thank you to our author, @medusapelagia! See more of @medusapelagia works featured on our page throughout the day!

Writer’s Spotlight is every Wednesday! Want to nominate an author? You can nominate them here!

[welcometololaland]

911 lone star tag game

thank you @tellmegoodbye for creating this tag and for tagging me 💜 sorry it took me so long to get to it. thanks also to @lemonlyman-dotcom @rmd-writes @liminalmemories21 @freneticfloetry

@chicgeekgirl89 @thisbuildinghasfeelings for the tags and @howtosingit and @captain-gillian mentioning my name, unfortunately for you i have taken that as a tag.

When did you first start watching Lone Star? Who or what introduced you to the show?

someone (it may have been @three-drink-amy) was yelling about the proposal in a group chat somewhere and i was stuck at home, injured, completely unable to walk, miserable and hating life...so I opened a YouTube video to see what the fuss was about. and then i watched all 3 seasons over the next 2 days.

Which season is your favorite?

three

Who is your favorite character? (Bonus: If you answered TK or Carlos, who is your favorite besides them?)

if you'd asked me a year ago, i might have had a different answer, but now (after over a year of almost exclusively writing carlos), i think it has to be him. i just think that i understand carlos a lot better than i used to. aside from tarlos...it's a hard toss up between grace and paul.

Top five episodes. Go!

you don't write 9 fics about push unless you really love push, so it's 3 x 04 every day for me. i'm actually sick for the pilot (1 x 01). i love a good origin story. my three others would be 3 x 13, 3 x 07 and a fight to the death between 3 x 18 for the proposal and 4 x 16 for soulmates.

If you could pick any character to be given a "begins" episode, who would it be and what would that episode look like?

i think the logical choice is nancy, because we really don't know a lot about her. the more she is on the screen the more i am starting to really enjoy her as a character and i'd like to know more. i'm also obsessed with getting as much reyes family backstory as i can. i'm CONVINCED tia lucy has to turn up somewhere. i need to meet that queen.

What is a scenario or storyline that you would like to see in season 5?

total cop out answer for me - i have no hopes because every time i start clowning i get the fear i might curse it. i'm just here for the ride, kids.

What do you think is going on in this still?

see answer above - i think the obvious answer is something about gabriel's death/the murder investigation but i'm not counting my chickens before they hatch or whatever the saying is. (also, they could def be trolling us and it's some scene in which tk is hangry and carlos is calling up the pizza place around the corner to ask where their order is because it's been 50 minutes and how long does a pizza really take?)

We all know about the elusive 5x05 spicy scene that has been teased, so what is your prediction for how it could possibly top 1x02?

it's no secret that i prefer sexy scenes when there's more at stake - a frantic hook up is hot but i prefer anything with feelings upon feelings upon feelings. so i hope whatever it is, it's emotional.

Where was the Tarlos honeymoon in your mind?

i wrote a whole fic about it, so it's hard to go against my own narrative. but i assume somewhere in texas. it definitely wasn't the under the tuscan sun remake carlos had apparently been dreaming about (but i hope they get there one day).

Shoutout one of your favorite fan creations.

there's actually too many to mention, and somehow even though i've only been in this fandom for coming up two years, i feel like i'm a relic 😂 i have so many personal favourites that have come across my dash (a lot of them due to fic/fandom rec friday which i miss with all my heart). but i do want to say that if you create for this fandom in any capacity, whether that is art, fic, gifs, vids, metas etc., your creations are such a gift. every single one adds something that the fandom didn't have before and makes us as a collective all the richer 💜 also, i think it's important to acknowledge the importance of the members of the fandom who are readers or beta readers, or even casual observers. everyone i've come across on this site or in the ao3 comments or discord has such unique experiences and personalities and adds so much flavour to this fandom! so thank you for being here! and thanks to @tellmegoodbye again for giving me an excuse to just ramble on about that.

an open tag because i'm very late, but if you haven't participated, please consider this a tag for you 💜

[fireofjudgement]

New Territory (Part 1)

Requested here

Next chapter

Fandom: High&Low

Pairing: Murayama x f!reader

Summary: You and Murayama have been friends for years, and you knew him better than anyone else. So, when the both of you started a relationship, you expected everything, but for him to disappear for over a month only to come back with a shocking announcement.

Word count: 3073

Warnings: f!reader, established relationship, friends to lovers, swearing, mentions of masturbation (f), mentions of sex but no actual smut in this chapter, mentions of cheating and breaking up, their relationship is..complicated

A/N: I initially wanted this request to be short and sweet, but my brain came up with this whole story, so here we are. To whoever requested it, I still hope you enjoy it!

--

"You know..You could just break up with him..Have you even considered that option?"

Taken aback by your friend's blunt answer, you paused what you were doing, putting the glass you were holding back on the counter. This was not the conversation you were hoping to have when you called them to ask for advice on your relationship with Murayama. 

"And why would I ever do that? Which part of 'I think I'm in love with this man' did you not understand?" 

"Y/n, are you serious? Oh, you are? Alright then, let's see. How about the part where he hasn't called you in a week? Or the part where you still haven't been to his apartment despite dating for over 3 months now, and being friends for literal years?"

You couldn't help but sigh at their sarcastic, yet not completely unreasonable answer. You wanted to say something, tell them that they're wrong, or that they don't understand but..the sad reality was that you didn't even know where you were currently standing with Murayama. Hell, you didn't even know if the two of you were still together. Overwhelmed by it all, you chose the cowardly way out and told your friend that your boyfriend hasn't contacted you for a little over a week, but it has been almost three now. No calls, no messages, no dates. No 'good morning' and 'good night' texts. If it wasn't for the pictures you still had on your phone, you would almost believe that it was all a dream, and that the two of you have never really been together. 

"He probably has his reasons.." was all you decided to say. The tone of your voice betrayed you, it was easy to tell you couldn't even manage to convince yourself. 

"Oh, I'm sure of that! And probably not just one, but a whole bunch! All of them have his last name, one of them maybe even has a ring on their finger matching his. He-"

"Hey, I hate to interrupt you, but I have to go. Thanks for all the great advice and support.." You quickly ended the call, unable and unwilling to listen to your friend's accusations. You weren't stupid, you knew Murayama's behavior was concerning and you knew that you deserved respect, especially from a partner. But you also knew the world wasn't black and white. Life wasn't. People had their flaws, their problems, and different ways to deal with them. Murayama has never let you down before - not during your friendship, not during your 'what are we' phase and not during your, admittedly still new, relationship. Whatever was happening, you would let him explain the situation and listen to what he had to say, before forming an opinion and making any decisions. 

But that would be a difficult task with him not picking up the phone, or texting you back. As much as you wanted to give him a chance, you couldn't do that if he didn't ask for one. It's been almost a month now since you've last seen him and, with how secretive and reserved he's acted, you doubted that would change anytime soon. Maybe your friend was right, maybe you were naive. Maybe he was just playing you - a pleasant distraction from a mundane everyday life, maybe from a failing marriage, or unwanted parenthood. Or all of the above. There was no way for you to tell until he contacted you again. 

Determined to give him the benefit of the doubt, but unwilling to just sit around and put your life on hold while waiting for him to reach out, you decided to put your phone down, stop stressing about the situation and enjoy yourself. Life was already chaotic and messy enough, you didn't need another failed relationship added to the mix. And so, between one meeting and another, between hanging out with friends you haven't seen in a while, and visiting places in your city you've always wanted to visit but never had the time, money or excuse to go to - you finally managed to find some peace. You didn't forget about Murayama of course, even though he most likely forgot about you, or so it seemed at least, but your life stopped revolving around him. You finally felt in control of your own fate again.

But with this newfound peace, new energy, came a bittersweet realization - you were alone in this relationship. If you could even still call it that. For the whole time you were trying to clear your mind and find yourself again, you had to put in effort and actively choose to not think about him every single day, every passing minute. It was hard and it took you a while, all while he just didn't seem to care at all, abandoning you with such ease. Maybe your gut feeling was right, maybe something did happen to him, but now you were less willing to continue justifying his behavior. Afterall, something might have happened to you too, you could need his help, his support. And he simply wasn't there. 

Still torn but getting progressively annoyed with the man's way of treating you, you finally decided to rip off the bandaid and say goodbye to a beautiful friendship, a rocky relationship, and a man you'd never thought would reciprocate your feelings in the first place. And maybe you were right. But this wasn't the time for nostalgia, you knew that if you didn't act now you'd probably back out, so you quickly took out your phone and started typing out the message, trying to hold back the tears that were already threatening to escape, and give away how insecure you actually were about the decision you just made. 

Finally done, you turned off your phone and left it on the nightstand by your bed. He wasn't going to answer anyway, you told yourself, so there's no point in waiting for it. Instead, you decided to take a nice, long and relaxing bath, put on some nice clothes and go out. Treat yourself. Celebrate being single again, even if deep down you knew it wasn't by choice, as much as you were trying to convince yourself otherwise. But a little play pretend wouldn't hurt, you'd go back to reality tomorrow. Today was all about you.

However, not even half an hour later your mind already started to betray you, promptly followed by your body. Laying in the bathtub, letting the warm water embrace you, you couldn't help but wonder why your..ex.. has never allowed for the two of you to go any further than just making out, fully clothed and preferably without touching each other's bodies. It never worried you while you were still together, you were actually quite happy to finally have met a gentleman, someone who didn't only care about the size of your tits, and what kind of underwear you were wearing that day, if any. He never treated you like an object, never acted in a creepy or perverted way, never tried to push you out of your comfort zone..For some reason you couldn't shake off the feeling that it was all just a facade. 

But it just didn't make sense, no matter how you looked at it. If he had another partner or even a spouse and was seeing you on the side, then he was already cheating on them. Why not go all the way? And if he found someone else after the two of you got together, how could he know they were a better match if he's never even had sex with you in the first place? Besides, you were almost a hundred percent sure that if he wanted to date someone just as a side piece, he wouldn't choose you. The two of you went all the way back, your friendship lasting longer than any of your previous relationships. You knew him better than he knew himself. It just didn't make sense, and no matter how much you tried to deny it or distract yourself, it was killing you to not know his true motives. 

Along with those thoughts came different, more..carnal ones. Ever since you realized your feelings for Murayama were more than just friendly, you wondered what kind of lover he'd be, if the two of you ever became an item. Would he be gentle - slow and sensual but still passionate, cherishing every moment spent together? Or would his hands and lips attack your body the moment you'd come back from work, dragging you to the bedroom before you'd even have the chance to protest, and not letting you out until the break of dawn? Just imagining what he'd do to you, what he was capable of, caused your hand to slip between your legs, skilled fingers quickly setting a pace that would send you over the edge in no time if you didn't stop yourself. 

It was with a long sigh and slight hesitation that you withdrew your hand, somewhat ashamed of your immature thoughts and actions. Murayama wasn't your boyfriend anymore, as far as you were concerned he wasn't your friend either, so you shouldn't waste your time and energy on him and some absurd fantasies. In fact, you should get out of the bathroom and start getting ready, if you still wanted to get into a decent restaurant or club. The more time passed, the more certain you were that staying home alone tonight wasn't a good idea. Not in this state, not with these thoughts roaming your mind and affecting your body.

After leaving the bathroom and putting on your favorite outfit, you decided to pick a place to spend the night and call an Uber. That's when you realized, you can't really do that without your phone. With a sigh of defeat, you grabbed the device and turned it back on, the cheery music more than inappropriate, considering your current mood. After more than an hour, you were expecting some new notifications, maybe a couple texts. You most certainly weren't expecting 13 missed calls and 41 unopened messages, all of which coming from the same number. Murayama. 

A wave of anxiety hit you all of a sudden, your brain struggling to process the fact that your..ex? boyfriend? just reached out to you after over a month of no contact. Reading through his messages sent you on an emotional roller-coaster, going from confusion to anger to sadness and despair, basically begging for you to give him another chance, begging you to hear him out. A thousand different thoughts, different questions and emotions attacked your brain all at once. You felt yourself spiral. It just wasn't fair. How many times have you tried to contact him, begging for him to come see you? And how long have you then spent on accepting he wouldn't, trying to move on, only for him to suddenly come back? It was too late to come back now.

But, as much as you despised how he acted towards you, especially after being friends for years, you still loved the man, you really did. And you wanted to know what, or who, was so important that he couldn't even send you a single message for a whole month. So, against your better judgment, you texted him back and agreed to meet him, but it had to be today, it had to be now or you'd be gone from his life forever. Even through text your tone didn't leave much room for arguing. Murayama had to notice it too, because he agreed to your conditions without hesitation. 

Twenty minutes later, and five minutes late to your meeting, you arrived at the restaurant he picked. Nothing too fancy, a cozy little establishment, not too crowded, so the two of you could have some much needed privacy. Not knowing what to expect, you tried to prepare yourself for every possible outcome during your ride, from meeting Murayama's secret wife and children, to learning that your entire relationship was just the topic of a bet with his buddies from Oya. No matter what it was, you were determined to not show any emotions, just hear him out, say your peace and leave.

But your facade quickly crumbled when you saw him at the table, staring you down in excitement, a big smile on his handsome face. You were once again reminded why you fell in love with him in the first place, but the memories were rather bittersweet, tainted by the pain he's caused you. The whole situation was awkward to say the least - you wanted to hug him, kiss him but also yell in his face, ask him what on earth you did to deserve such treatment. But you didn't do either. Instead you just quietly sat down, avoiding any physical contact or even eye contact. You came here to listen - you've done enough talking. It was his turn now.

"You look really pretty.." he started, his tone quiet, almost as if he was embarrassed to speak.

"I know, but thank you." His smile quickly faded, turning into a frown. It was hard for you to act so heartless towards him but you couldn't afford to let your guard down again. He wasn't going to win you over with cheap compliments. 

"Y/n, I'm sorry..I know I hurt you, I know I shouldn't have just ghosted you but..I did have my reasons. I'm really sorry." He started again, after a long moment of silence. 

"Reasons?" Your raised voice gathered a few concerned and disapproving looks from the people at nearby tables, causing you to calm down a little and remind yourself that you came there to listen to him. "I'm not sure avoiding your girlfriend for an entire month can be justified by any..reasons..especially after everything we've been through together." You added, this time in a much more calm manner. 

"I know..I'm not trying to justify anything, I'm just..I don't know what to tell you, I know I fucked up."

"How about you tell me the truth for a change..why did you avoid me all this time?"

"I..I can't. It's too embarrassing." His last words barely a whisper. You were baffled. He basically begged for you to come see him, to hear him out and now this? What kind of game was he playing?

"So why the fuck did you make me come all the way here? Are you getting off to this? To my pain and anxiety? Seeing me hurt and angry?" You didn't care about other customers anymore, you were pissed and you felt humiliated. This wasn't the Murayama you fell in love with.

"No, no! I wanted to see you because I love you, I care about you and I..I can't imagine my life without you, y/n..But I..I just didn't think you'd want to be with someone like me." Before you could answer, say anything, he suddenly got up and started to make his way to the door, leaving you shocked and confused. You called out to him a few times but to no avail. He left without explaining anything and you would be angry, you should be angry, but his last words caught your attention. What did he mean by someone like him? It couldn't possibly be about Oya or S.W.O.R.D., you talked about it before you were even together, and you've never judged him for it or told him to abandon his friends. That couldn't be it.

At this point you couldn't lie to yourself anymore. You had to know what he was hiding from you, what was so important and so embarrassing that he couldn't even talk to you about it, couldn't even look you in the eyes. Determined to solve this mystery once and for all, you decided to break a promise you gave him years ago and go to the one place you knew he was going to have to go to eventually. His apartment. He told you the address at the start of your friendship but on the same day he made you promise you'd never go there, unless it was an emergency. To be fair, this was an emergency. Your last chance to get any closure before he'd disappear from your life forever.

However, you only knew the address, he never gave you a key, so when you finally arrived at your destination, and realized Murayama hasn't come home yet, you were stumped. You refused to leave, not when you managed to see him after all this time, not when you were so close to getting an answer. You'd wait as long as needed and you wouldn't leave without getting one. At that point you didn't even care what the answer was, you just had to know. He owed you at least that much. Otherwise you didn't think you could ever trust a man again, most definitely not Murayama. 

And so you've waited, minutes turning into hours, your anger and anxiety slowly dissipating, your mind becoming more clear after you calmed down. A gentle but firm grip on your shoulder woke you up from a nap you didn't even know you were taking. How long have you been there, sitting on the staircase leading to his apartment? You didn't know, your face heating up with embarrassment at the realization. You could only hope none of his neighbors saw you.

"Y/n?!" Murayama was as surprised as you. "What are you doing here? How long have you been sitting here? Are you okay?" 

His last question made your heart skip a beat, your expression softening. Maybe, just maybe, he did still care about you after all. 

"I dunno.." You mumbled, hesitantly taking his hand and allowing him to help you get up. "I just wanted to know why you were avoiding me..What I've done for you to hate me so much.." You confessed, your voice breaking, tears already gathering at the corners of your eyes, threatening to escape. 

"I don't hate you, you silly..I love you. I always have." With that, he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you closer, until your body was almost completely covered by his. Despite everything, you've never felt as safe as you did at that moment. He always knew how to calm you down, even if it was him causing your distress. "Come on, let's go in."

[going-to-ikea-for-the-fries]

i barely even know whats going on in the fandom right now but whatever happened it sure made me unfollow a certain someone, because from what i can tell someone may or may have not ended their life and i genuinely don't want to follow or be associated with someone who was a cause of that.

it's like each time it becomes more clear that this fandom has not learned ANYTHING from what happened with Inquisitor (may he rest in peace. I know these are two completely different terrible things (False Accusations and Racism/Erasure.) but it's still having the same POTENTIAL outcome and it's fucking sickening and I am so close to leaving the fandom and deleting all my works because of it.

What happened was OP made one of those text message + the character who sent it post... and according to some people erased Gaz (they did not) because they included 3/4 of the 141 and left pretty boy out and 'replaced' him with Keegan.

In reality, they did not do 3/4. They actually did 2/4 and added **Captain Soap** from 2009. Not the same as adding Sergeant Soap from 2022/2023. They also explained their reasoning for adding both of those rather than Gaz.

And yet people sent OP death threats and everything because a certain someone decided to screenshot OP's post and post it on their blog shaming them and so many others went after OP.

It's unfortunately a consequence of old hunting/pack mentality from the caveman days.

They see a thing to go after and they do and they do not let go. Like dogs with bones.

I'm wholeheartedly convinced people don't learn from previous mistakes.

But worse than not learning is that their brains don't fucking work right it seems. And you can quote me on that. (Because I don't even mean it as an ableist thing. I mean it as they're all sociopaths)

How can a person get so knee deep in anger that they send death threats to someone over an online sex post about made up characters?

I just hope OP is okay and got help or changed their minds...

And RIP to Inquisitor...

Please do not let these things get you down, friend. We need good people here, cannot let this become a complete cesspool.