#i'm being a crybaby
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Life is not fair I wish I was a fan back in 2020, not 2023
#clone high#clone high van gogh#clone high vincent van gogh#van gogh clone high#clone high julius caesar#julius caesar clone high#they didn't get enough screen time together to satisfy MY needs#i'm being a crybaby#do it for them#please#clone high season 2
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Imagine being Akira Fudo. Imagine carrying so much goodness and grace inside your heart that you made Satan fall in love with you until the death of earth in a constant loop over and over again, making a creature that once didn't even feel empathy towards something as helpless as a little kitten, shed tears over your own downfall. Divine pain that has never been felt before, with the trivial possession of a pure, human heart and the ability to feel. Feel deeply, even. The angel who has been taught nothing but destruction, God's disposal, finding home in your arms. Whether it's before he remembered who he was, or afterwards. Imagine being Akira Fudo and Satan's highest priority, most prized treasure. Genuinely convinced if everyone loved like those two from their core, malice would not even dare to exist
#Sorry for being emo#I rewatched dmcb and I'm sad#I'm so sad#I love those two#I like to imagine that one day god will have mercy on them and give them at least one timeline where they are happy#me.exe#devilman crybaby#akira fudo#ryo asuka#ryokira
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Some doodles I made while listening to the 9 hour fnaf lore video
#cricket doodles#my art#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#five nights at freddys#crying child#fnaf crying child#crying child fnaf#charlotte emily#charlie emily#charlie fnaf#fnaf charlie#cassidy#fnaf cassidy#cassidy fnaf#<- lotta tags for three characters cjsbgksh#Man. Most of my recent fnaf drawings are just of these three huh#I mean I'm not complaining! It's just remarkable how often I draw them#I always liked the interpretation of CC being a little angry. He KNOWS he's being irrational and he KNOWS he's seen as a crybaby#But he just can't STOP and he feels so powerless. I can see him being frustrated with everyone and himself#Also Cassidy is holding psychic friend fredbear bc I like the headcanon that she's possessing the plush#It is not canon or timeline compliant but I do not care <3 it's fun
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Hoi sorry I haven't posted in in a bit I haven't really been in a drawing mood and having a little bit of artblock or the being burnt out I don't know I just haven't really been the best emotionally so sorry about that I'll try to get back into it soon sometimes I don't draw for months maybe I'll still post silly little fun facts about my ocs that always makes me feel better guess we'll see.
Decided to post a drawing I drew this around the beginning of this year so it's a little old but wanted to feel like I did something so here it is.
this is Siffrin from in Stars and time it's a very good game if you want game suggestions this is one!! Anyway see ya <3
#my art#in stars and time#isat siffrin#in stars and time siffrin#siffrin fanart#I'm kind of sad :(#maybe I'll feel better soon#sorry for being depressing#and a bit of a crybaby sorry if this is your first impression of me#I think I might have bipolar disorder so expect this a lot#<3
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Yesterday I was posting non-stop, I was sad about the news but I was thinking to myself "Well, this Is the way every life-service game ends so whatever", I would describe my feeling as some kind of numbness, that's why most of them were stupid jokes made in the moment
But then today, 5:00PM hit and saw the countdown to HDD5. All this 5 years, at this hour I always entered to Twitter just to see If there was anything new, a new song, a new season, a new project, etc. And then It hit me that in a month, I wont have a reason to check Twitter anymore.
It sound kind of pathetic, but It was part of my routine? Even just sharing things I thought were interesing, finding stuff and saying to myself "Ah, someone might like to know this", people thanking me for posting Hard Lessons, complaining every ten days about some insane decision the Story made only to still be looking foward to it. I have always been kind of shy at interacting with people online so people reading my incoherent rants, and saying things about it in the tags, It made me come out of my shell a bit more. It was a part of my daily life.
The last login bonus Is called "Thanks for the Memories". Not all of them are positive, but I'm still glad I could have them at all.
#post0400#I said that I wasn't planning on making a big sad post but ooops... I lied#I... feel worse than yesterday If I'm being honest. I still look foward to what's in the future#but if it's not a new game? it will never be the same. I fear#all those loose threads that will remain unanwsered. it's a bit sad. y'know?#I can't believe I feel so bad. I feel like a crybaby and it's so pathetic
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The Snow yearning is so strong tonight
#pan gushes#f/o: ❄️#AUGH...#We've been married for years and yet here I am still getting butterflies and stuff like when I first fell for him#I just...gkdnfkdnfkdj#I'm so bad at putting my feelings for my f/os to words sometimes#But I love and adore Snow so much#He brings me so much comfort and makes me feel so safe which means so much to me#I like feeling safe around someone and being able to just lower my guard around y'know?#Also in true ff13 Panchi fashion- I too am quite a crybaby deep down#←Was getting tearyeyed because of how badly they wanted a Snow kiss and to be in Snow's arms#Speaking of crying. (Wait no that sounds bad but I promise it wont be that bad)#My S/I post-Trilogy often has nightmares about their death in the Old World. The downfall of said Old World. Stuff like that#If left alone they they just start sobbing even even more#But Luckily Snow tends to wake up and comfort them- He's really sweet and patient the whole time#even when Panchi is apologizing about waking him up and the past and how they feel responsible for everything bad that happened and-#But yeah. Snow isn't the best with words but he's good at comforting Panchi and helping them fall asleep again#Snow also has his fair share of nightmares Post-Trilogy. Though not as much as Panchi#His nightmares tend to be about those centuries he spent along in LR and seeing Panchi Die again#And since Panchi is a light sleeper. They wake up quickly and reassure him that he's not alone and that they're alive and well#On those nights it's most comforting for Snow to sleep in Panchi's arms with his head on their chest#He likes listening to their heartbeat since it's a reminder that yes. they are indeed alive and well. and their chest is comfy-#ANYWAYS! afksnfjs Got really sidetracked there my apologies! Could've probably made a whole second post there#Goodnight gamers <3 Hope everyone's night goes well
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...😭
#i've never had a job in my own field that i've liked as much as i've liked my current one#the semester is ending soon and today i heard my contract will not be renewed bc the person i'm substituting will return to work after all#i've been feeling so tired and a bit poorly after the nokia arena show and i probably should have called in sick today#as i was absolutely useless today#and then after my only class today my students came to me with a gift?? 😭#a pink enamel moomin mug and some chocolate and a paper on which they had written nice things about me + a drawing of a dachshund 😭#and i burst to tears right there in front of them because i was so touched (and also because i'm just really really tired and emotional)#i'm so tired about having to apply for new jobs and having to start all over again#i'm so tired of having to do shitty short-notice substitutions again#i feel like i deserve better than that but on the other hand i fee like life's giving me exactly what i deserve and maybe this is it#i'm dreading the summer because idk if i'll have a job to go to in the autumn#and even if i did find something it won't be like the job i have now#also. it's may day eve and the weather's lovely#and i'm hiding in my apartment with the curtains closed so i won't see all the people going out and having fun with their friends#for me may day eve has never been like that. i've always felt so very excluded from those celebrations#on top of that i got yelled at by a bus driver and i'm the worst friend that ever existed#i'm trying to quit on whining about my sad little life but it gets so lonely#please know i'm not writing this for attention or pity. i know y'all have problems of your own and i'm just being a dramatic crybaby
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ok ok ok sorry I've been quiet again, guys!! work has been kicking my ass and my mind has been elsewhere (MCU Loki has invaded my brain again like they did 10 years ago, absolutely no one is surprised)
but now they're cutting hours, I have five days off in a row, (... well, four now), and I just did my first Trulicity injection yesterday so I'm braced for side effects since everyone I've talked to says they had issues with it at first 😅
so I'm gonna be doing just a mix of gaming, coloring, and attempting to write to distract myself and such
I actually do have like four things written for this blog, but I'm trying to get at least ten done so that the queue can be jumpstarted to begin with lol
anyway love you guys!! I'm gonna be attempting some stuff here 💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻
#mod post#needle mention tw#I'm so scared of this medicine lmao I hate starting new medicines#my stupid ass shed a few tears when I was injecting myself and I do not like being a crybaby#BUT I DID IT#and wise Google say most people start feeling side effects 2-3 days after the first dose#so I'm sitting here paranoid that I DON'T feel like death because my brain is like OH JUST WAIT IT'S COMING#anyway I am here I am hilariously bisexual LET'S GET INTO IT
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Oh additional Céline/Sharena friendship thought. I think BOTH of them would want to be/consider themselves to be "the big sister" to the other SO BAD. LIKE. It doesn't even matter what their ages are here it is A Mentality. And I think they both have different flavors of Youngest Sibling Who Wishes They Had a Baby Sibling syndrome. I think they absolutely fight over this LMFAOOO
#sharena#fe celine#I WISH I COULD GIVE YOU THE ESSAY. but i am just speaking out my ass based one vibes alone LMFAOO#ESP FOR SHARENA BUT LIKE...... she really does strike me as the type who WOULD hold it over you#if she was even just a month 'older' than you.#obvs not in a mean way but like in a braggy way LMFAOOOO#PLEASE. IT'S ALL SHE HAS. AFTER A LIFETIME OF BEING BABIED BY ALFONSE.#meanwhile celine is on the opposite end of this. she had to grow up fast. forced herself to stop being 'a crybaby'. ect#and like i'm sure alfred dotes on her too but like. the dynamic is undeniably different here.#celine has taken up the role to BE the caretaker. bc she kind of Had To. considering everything she's dealt with#losing her father and having a sickly brother. like. even if he's the older one. she feels that deep need to take care of him#and i think these two different types of 'wants to imprint on someone to be a big sister' would be SO funny to see clash
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freezing-cold-to-the-point-it-hurts ice water really helps but only for a minute, my eyes are red and puffy again
#sometimes i have to hit myself in the head and look in the mirror and say#“you're an adult so act like it and stop being a fucking crybaby”#I'm sorey for the venting posts guys idk where to go
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Fellas... 🤔
#pictures#please feel free to ignore this#Another well-written danmei with an embarrassing name#The last one had the worst ending ever I'm hoping it's not a trend#This one is fun so far and I like the development of their relationship#This part made me yell especially because he's had 2 dreams of varying spiciness and been like#but is it gay to dream about kissing a man who may or may not be a dragon#And now he's going whole hog#I'm reading What's the Point of Being a Crybaby as Cannon Fodder?
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I love the scene where Atsushi shows Lucy his scars it's probably my fav moment of him (and of both of them in general)
#quite frankly if i was in his place i probably wouldn't have been as patient with her given how she treats him at first#but like.... something bout characters being vulnerable to show someone that they understand the other and-#-bonding over similar trauma............#ue. ue. ue. i'm a big crybaby fr..#bungou stray dogs#bsdrewatch2023#moon likes to rambletm
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It might just be a lot of things. I really don't know. I don't like not having any energy after work but it staves off a lot of our thought processes but at the same time I don't love it. It's tolerable but I want to be doing something else. I wanna be in the dirt and I want to feel the earth under my feet and I want to know she's listening to me and telling me it's ok and I want to take care of her like she's taken care of me. I want to plant trees and cut back weeds and learn to identify our native plants and I just can't do any of that and make a living. It's not even a volunteer opportunity for me. I'm just some random citizen who didn't even go to school for any of it. And I'm so lonely. I'm the loneliest I've been. I love all my friends online I do. Truly and wholly but it doesn't help the fact that I have no one around me irl. And it hurts. And I'm scared. And I am so small all the time. And I just want it to change.
#elias.zip#i think. that dreamis affecting me a little more than I thought it did. it really exemplified that I feel like everyone sees me as not tryin#g to make connections in my adult life but im in a dead town with an aging population i didnt grow up in or around. i can't find public even#ts that would get me around people my age. I can't drive still to go places anyways and I struggle so fucking with the entire process anyway#s that even with the stars aligned I fuck myself over anyways. I'm too weird. too quiet. too loud. not assertive. weird. weird. weird. werid#. just some fucking crybaby.#everyone's moved on from being anxious but not me. I can't do it. i try and try and try and try and push myself out of my comfort zone but n#obody wants new friends. and my interests are too niche. and i dont fit in and nobody wants to be friends with the baby because all he does#is cry and god I've felt worse moving here than i ever did back at the old house and it feels like I'm never going to get to see what cou#ldve been I'm stuck like this!!#sometimes i really wish i could just leave. leave it all. vanlife or backpack or something and learn why i was made to live as a human. i ju#st want to go back home. I wanna see my packmates again. I'll do better this time. Please. I'm sorry
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i could write an entire 3-paragraph essay (with sources) on why yugi muto has adhd and how it affects him throughout his story but when it comes to sora it’s just. i dunno he just has it. he has adhd
#i have too many thoughts about characters#i found yugi relatable actually but only in the manga because he was allowed to Do Things in the manga#i love the anime and yami yugi don't get me wrong but like#minimal yugi screentime :( they skipped his character development#he is there at the beginning and the end but shows up very little in battle city which is like. THE yugioh arc#but uhh anyway yugi being prone to tears like an abnormal amount for his age can 100% be interpreted as emotional dysregulation#maybe i just read it that way because i'm like that :/ crybaby alert over here#also he has hyperfixations!!#and not just strong interests like he is interested in games EXCLUSIVELY to the detriment of obligations like. school#but with sora it's just... he has a vibe to him i guess#i diagnose him with silly brain#anyway toonagi overly long tags time woohoo#it's like a special treat you get a whole novel as a bonus :D#sora kingdom hearts#yugi muto#i also headcanon like a lot of characters as having adhd so i think also i'm projecting a little
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compiles a list in my head of must-read infinite flows...
#counts on my hands.#Being an Extra Actor in an Escape Game. Why Are the NPCs All Frightened By Me. <- because they're incredible plot and character wise#Global Exam <- because its a classic and easy to get into the genre#Crybaby <- an easy one to indulge with#Card Room. I Was Once a Legend <- longform (300-600 chapters) serious IFs with solid settings and intricate planning and plots#Escape the Library <- a more lighthearted IF with lower stakes and a harmonious attitude#I'm Really Just An Ordinary Person <- a favourite of mine with a different take on the setting. kills me#mara reads
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the absolute most insane and ironic and hilarious piece of set decoration on all of obx is this
rafe cameron just killed a police officer and then drove away in a truck with a thin blue line/blue lives matter sticker on the back. like 😭😭😭😭 absolutely genius. also i'm assuming this is ward's truck bc rafe really only ever rips around on the dirt bike (but the vehicle situation in this show is fucking nuts, like the only consistency is the dirt bikes and that godawful twinkie but i digress), which adds a whole other layer of LMFAO WHAT on top of this all.
#rafe cameron acab question mark#i know he isn't obviously but the thought is so funny#imagine getting shot and the guy who pulled trigger is the biggest crybaby on earth#NO WAIT#imagine being a cop and getting shot and the guy who pulls the trigger believes in blue lives matter#insane L#lmfao#like ur a cop and u get shot by a supporter who are u john lennon?#i'm sorry this is so horrible#but fuck john lennon and fuck the police#crazy ass hashtag#yikes#rip sheriff pete tho u didnt deserve to get sneak attacked by rafe cameron#like in the back too#such a cheap shot#rafe cameron#rafe obx#rafe outer banks#obx#obx s1#outer banks#obx netflix#mine
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