#i'll write you something better soon bb

[itwasntimethatdidit40]

How could you love somebody like me?

Pairing: f!reader x Javier Peña Words count: 3032 Rating: + 18, NSFW, MDNI. Summary: Javi is under protection and has asked you to join him in the hotel room where he is confined. When you discover his secrets and lies, however, that room will become too small. Too small for both of you. Tags/warnings: POV second person, no use of y/n, angst, Javi is still a DEA agent but it's a modern setting so the man has a smartphone. Reader is described having female genitalia and breasts, no other description of her is given, she doesn't blush and her hair is not described. Mention of alcohol, mention of cheating, Javi is a cheater, no happy ending, we will go through the man's phone (you're not supposed to do that but I never said my reader could do no wrong, right?), use of pet names (gatita which means kitten in Spanish, baby, darling), smut, angry sex, unprotected p in v (do better irl), cream pie, of course a little nipple play ‘cause it’s still my fic, toxic relationship, self doubt, mention of Steve, a huge pile of lies, Javi is bad at feelings, some reader’s thoughts marked in italics. I think it's all, let me know if I forgot something and I'll add it right away. A/N: Written for @jolapeno 's "Dear-uary" challenge. This was my prompt, I struggled a little bit at first but I ended up having a blast writing this ❤︎ Heavily inspired by this song (from which the fic also takes its title), I heard it randomly on Spotify one day and I thought "wait, this is perfect for Javi!" and I ended up being obsessed with two more songs by the same artist. LOL Many thanks to: - @aurorawritestoescape , my beta, for her help and advice, she will probably dream of elephants because of me tonight hahaha Kate I own you a big one, thanks baby so much, I love you ❤️ - The person who basically pulled this out of my brain and supported me throughout the process, my precious, my peanut @joelmillerisapunk. 🥰 Love you so much it's ridiculous🥹 - @milla-frenchy for letting me blather about this thing some days ago. Love you, bb ❤︎ English is not my first language, every single mistake is still on me, I deeply apologize if you find any.

Edited - because I forgot to change the most important detail, of course. I’m not myself if I’m not doing a mess. Yay. It’s okay now.

“Why the hell am I here? Was I the only available hole this week?”

“No,” he whispers. 

“So what?” 

Javier came back and found you in the middle of the room.

You were brandishing his phone like a sword in the air, the banner of everything that was wrong.

His face went pale when he saw you like that. 

Eyes wide open. 

Mouth agape. 

He tried to say something but you immediately hit him with a vomit of words.

“I know what you’re doing,” you hiss under your breath, feeling your eyes sting.

Javier is a marble statue in front of you, his lips pressed together, his absent eyes not even looking at you, staring at a spot behind your shoulders, his arms abandoned along his sides. 

He seems anchored to the ground. 

His last words to you still burn on your skin like a fire you cannot extinguish.

A heavy silence between you fills the air of the room and makes it unbreathable. 

“Fuck, Javier, talk to me,” you whisper angrily.

You clutch his phone in your hands, so tightly that your knuckles are white from exertion, as if you were clinging to it to keep yourself from falling off a cliff. 

“You knew I was no good,” he says sternly.

You have been in this room for two days. 

Officially, Javier has to stay here because henchmen of one of the new drug lords in town are set on taking him out. 

Unofficially, he has you infiltrating the room. 

Typical Javier, spending his time under protection fucking someone. 

You foolishly almost believed it was romantic, until this morning. 

“So you’re trying to say that it’s my fault? Is that what you want to say? It’s my fault that as soon as I turn my back you go and stick your cock in someone else's pussy?” You don’t even have the strength to scream right now. Your voice comes out rancorous but low, hoarse, like a blown growl. 

Oh, you’re not going to accept being lectured by him, fuck no.

“No, I’m just saying -” he tries to explain and you glare at him, making the words die in his mouth.  

"What?" 

“Fuck, I'll never change,” he shrugs as if it were a truism that only you can't grasp.

His eyes shift to the ground, dull and absent.

“You don't change because you are convinced that you can't,” you admonish him, feeling anger rising from your chest. 

"That's not true," he murmurs, keeping his gaze on the crimson and gold carpet that lies at your feet.

“Yes, it is,” you insist, ”and you seem to like to think of yourself as an incurable asshole.”

He still fails to see the real problem, the elephant in the room that lives and thrives among you. 

"Then you tell me, if you think you know me so well,” he asks with defiance. 

“You bet I fucking know you,” you lash out. “You think you're so mysterious and complicated?! Well,  news flash, I've seen plenty like you. You’re just another man. You're not even that, you're a child. A child who's afraid of his own shadow when it comes to relationships.”

“Don’t fucking analyze me,” he hisses, finally setting his eyes back on you. 

Raven, angry and fearful. He knows you can read him like an open book and this unleashes an awareness upon him that crushes him to the ground.

You bitterly laugh, “Truth hurts, huh? I know something about it”. 

The wrinkle between his eyebrows deepens, his nostrils flare, and his mouth tightens into a line so thin you think he’s about to burst. He stays quiet instead, eyes back on the damask carpet decoration. 

_____________

“Yes, Steve, I'm fine. That jerk won't find me here, and anyway it's full of police outside the door.” 

A pause and a sigh. 

”No, no one followed her, they don't know who she is.”

You stood behind the half-closed bathroom door listening. 

You smiled. 

His voice sounded softer when he talked about you. You lulled yourself into that feeling. 

Until you heard something else. 

A booming laugh. 

Water ran in the shower, tiny droplets coated the wall as the mirror fogged up.

“Whatever. Of course I'm still screwing around. At least, I was doing it before that asshole started chasing me,” his voice suddenly lowered so you took a chance and opened the door a little more. You wanted to make sure you heard right. 

Your hand trembled against the doorknob, you grabbed your wrist to hold it steady. 

“You idiot,” he scoffed. “Yeah, we'll be in touch.”

Suspicion. The black wing of a crow that had been wrapped around your heart for a long time.

But then why did it hurt so much? 

You allowed yourself to hide it in a part of your brain where you never looked-that was a mistake. Making the hunch barely a firefly when it was supposed to be a bright neon sign.

He always places the phone with its screen down when you go out to dinner, softly smiling at it when he checks it after a few vibrations, telling you “it’s Steve” when you ask. 

But you know that crooked smile. 

He dodges when you ask him about his day "oh work, you know, just work." 

He tells you he is with Steve but you hear female voices in the background. 

Every time you try to confront him it always ends the same way, him telling you, “you’re paranoid, there’s no one else, just you, baby. You’re the only one I want.”

And then he fucks your doubts into oblivion.

You heard the thud of the phone on the blankets. And then Javier calling you. 

You swallowed the gall rising from the walls of your stomach and just smiled when he joined you in the bathroom and suggested that you shower together.

You wanted some proof before you charged him. 

If there was anything you had learned from being with him, it was that hard evidence was the key. So you played cool. 

He fucked you against the shower wall and you moaned into his neck. 

He licked your pussy like a man starved and you just bit your lips until you felt iron on your tongue.

He kissed you with that liar's mouth, and you let him.

And you fell asleep beside him, on the unmade bed of your uncertainties. 

This morning someone from outside called him into the hallway to report the latest movements of the guy who was looking for him. 

His phone was on the bedside table.

It was like a magnet, pulling your hand to it.

You were almost sure you knew his unlock code ‘cause you had watched the movements of his finger many times. 

You tried twice without success. 

The third time you let out a long sigh, visualized in your mind the movement one more time and unlocked it. 

You were in. 

Your heart was beating wildly in your chest as your fingers swiped and clicked on the screen. 

And there they were.

Dozens and dozens of messages and pics exchanged with 4 different women.

You scrolled through one of the chats with a certain Maria, who regularly sent him pictures of her tits and her legs spread wide, her pussy in the shot.

There was sexting, arranged dates, same promises he gave to you, things you never asked for but he kept repeating like a broken record. Even the same pet name. Gatita. 

Blood simmered in your veins, a jolt in your heart, throat dry. 

Your finger furiously scrolled through the chat, finding tons of messages he had sent her while he was with you.

You switched to another one and you found pretty much the same. And yet another, message after message containing flirting and explicit sex.  

“Oh Javi, you keep getting better and better with that cock of yours”

“My pussy needs you, darling, can you come over?”

“I can’t stop thinking about your huge cock dripping on me”

And the more you scrolled, the more a question formed in your brain, rumbling through your temples like a deafening drum. 

Was he ever sincere with you?

________

When he looks up at you again, you see it. A veil of fragility in the dense blackness of his gaze.

He looks almost helpless. “I know you tried,” he admits, ”You tried harder than anyone else.”

“Apparently it was no use,” you chastise him.

He doesn’t reply. 

Instead he comes closer and closer. 

You pull back, responding to his every step forward with a backward one. 

“Please,” he whispers. 

“No.” 

“Don't do that.”

“You have no right to tell me what to do,” you bark.

”I know...” 

“Fuck off, Javier, leave me alone.”

You pull back until you hit the wall behind you. 

Javier approaches, bending slightly to reach your mouth, his mustache brushes against your cupid’s bow and you don't even have the strength to turn your face away anymore. 

When your lips collide you let it happen. 

It’s like when you drink too much Tequila. 

It burns on your tongue, leaving you almost anesthetized as soon as you down it, and then an aromatic taste wafts into your mouth; it is lysergic, unusual, unmistakable.

You love it, so you keep doing it.

Javier is the same. 

He's sharp, stiff at the edges, burns like fire, but he has an aura that you won’t mistake for anything and he hypnotizes you. He’s not like anyone else, despite what you told him. There is an underlying despair in him, a cry dying in his throat, “How can you love someone like me?” 

He says it only with his eyes but you hear it clearly.

He is a time bomb that explodes in your heart every time he touches you. So you keep doing it.

“Fuck,” you whisper against his lips. 

“Yeah…I know. I’m not worthy.”

And yet, you’re still here.

You let him peel off your every layer of clothing, to leave you naked and vulnerable in front of him. 

You do nothing when he undresses too. Hastily taking off his shirt, fumbling with the button of his jeans, nervous hands and short breaths.

It is like some mind fuck game, intoxicating, dangerous, capable of leaving permanent marks.

He lowers his jeans just enough to free his cock, no boxers. Always ready.

His hands run over your hips and you groan. 

His tongue slides over your neck, his eyes closed, his breath heavy and warm on your skin. 

He makes you cry, but you don't say no.

His lips latch onto your nipple and adrenaline rushes through your veins up into your head, hitting hard like a jackhammer.

You don’t pull back anymore, you push your tit into his mouth so eagerly you feel his teeth closing on your bud and you whine in pleasure. 

His growing erection leaks against your center. You are trapped. Not so much because you are between him and the wall but because you no longer know how to get him out of your head. 

Right now it doesn't matter how much it hurts. 

He slides his hands down your thighs and you know what he wants, without needing to speak. You wrap your legs around his waist. He kneels on the bed with you still clinging to him, you lie back on the soft blankets that smell of you both, arch your back and press against his cock. You folds splayed and dripping for him.

His fingers go up your rib cage, stop under your breasts and grasp there, he draws you back to him and your mouths collide again.

You let his tongue enter. You let the fleeting pleasure of this instant take over all the no's you know you have to say.

There’s no right kind of love here, this room is drowned in angry sex.

Angry at how you can never say no to him, angry at how he makes you feel, angry because you know that no one has ever fucked you the way he did, invading your body with a pleasure so addictive that it makes you sick. Angry because maybe he's right, he can't change. 

You break the kiss and bite on his shoulder, a small act of revenge that really does no harm compared to your bleeding heart. 

Your hands grasp on the golden skin of his back, leaving marks with your nails digging into it, your miserable attempt to leave marks on him in return.

You moan convulsively under his touch, your mouth wide open against his, your tongue desperately seeking him out. 

His hands tighten on your ass, lifting you slightly, his cock slides over your wet opening, a guttural sound comes out of the back of your throat without you being able to hold it back. 

You want him inside you. 

You need him inside you.

And it’s wrong, and desperate. It’s masochistic.

You don’t even care for his jeans’s zip scraping your skin.

The thin line between pain and pleasure is so blurred now.

It’s a pathetic shit show of need and urgency. 

You’d walk away from any other guy but Javier is the person you can never have just for yourself and at the same time he is the only one you want. 

He is the knife and the wound at the same time.  

When he asks “Whose pussy is this?” in his deep groaning voice that fucks directly with your brain, you can only reply “yours.”

Digging your nails deeper, biting more, wailing louder but just pleading with him.

You take his shaft in your hand and rub it against you in blind desperation, wetting it with your juices. 

He groans into your ears while his hand reaches for your nipple and his big strong arm holds you close.

You are sitting on his thighs, your legs crossed behind his back.

His fingers pinch your nipple as you don't stop stroking his big throbbing cock.

Just put it in there. You think. I just need to feel your flesh against mine, inside me, claiming me like the rag doll that I am now. 

Stupid bitch trying to have you when you’re damaged like a shattered glass, when you can bring nothing than heat to my body and freezing ice to my heart. 

“Fuck me,” you groan. 

He pushes against your core, entering you with one deep thrust.

Your pussy is weeping so much it doesn’t even hurt.

You clench on him with all the strength you have, chocking his cock with your walls.

“Fuck,” he growls. “You’re gripping me so hard, baby. There’s nothing you want more than this, huh? Me fucking you raw?” 

“Shut up,” you hiss. 

He starts moving, pumping into you as his hand reaches for your clit, brushing it in circles.

You whine, clinging onto his back, your face hidden in the crook of his neck.

You can’t look him in the eye, you can’t face your own shameful reflection in his pupils, you can’t think of anything else than this pleasure firing your body, your limbs, your mind.

Your pussy never gets the memo when it comes to him. She just clenches, and cries and asks for more.

At the verge of your brink, when you’re so utterly overwhelmed you could swear, you’re about to jump out of your skin, you hear it.

It’s the softest whisper on your skin, so low you barely catch the words, “I love you” 

You cry a single tear that slides down the column of his neck, it could be mistaken for a bead of sweat so easily and Javier doesn’t notice it. But it’s there. You’re crying again.

You come, weeping.

Grasping to him like your last shred of hope.

But there’s no hope anymore.

You know you can’t go on like that.

You cried before. You argued before. It’s all useless.

A devastating orgasm shoots through you, leaving you without defense.

It’s the last thing you want but you need to get it over with. 

You lie on the bed, feeling his last twitches inside you, his cum dripping onto your walls, his cock pressing against that spot that belongs only to him.

He lies down on you, gently crushing you with his weight, his sweaty skin against yours, the smell of your orgasm filling your nostrils.

You’re hopeless and breathless. 

He's still inside you, like he doesn't want to leave. 

You know you have to. 

Eventually he shifts, lying on the other side of the bed muttering, “god, you really are something else.” He takes the pack of cigarettes from the nightstand and lights one, taking a long drag.

“I'm not enough,” you want to scream looking at him through the cloud of smoke enveloping him. “Or maybe you're not, for me.”

When he is about to fall asleep, you get up. You pick up your clothes off the floor and put them on silently.

“Where are you going, gatita?” he grunts. 

Does he think he has solved it? Does he think you will forgive him as you did the other times? 

You don’t reply.

"You only ever tell me the truth when you think I won't hear it,” you type on your phone and send it to him, before coming out of the door without turning your back.

You leave him there, wondering, lost as he makes you feel.

There will be two broken hearts. 

You know he loves you and you love him.

He is convinced that he doesn’t deserve you and pushes you away every time you get close to his soul. 

He knows that you see him clearly; that scares him.

You are tired of fighting for the both of you.

You push the elevator button under the gaze of an unsuspecting policeman who urges, “Where are you going, miss?”

“I'm leaving.”

“Do you need someone to accompany you?” 

“No, thank you.”

“Someone could follow you,” he counters.

“No one knows me, you don't have to worry.”

You wait for the elevator, still hoping to see his ruffled raven hair poking out the door, his voice calling to you, his hand tightening on your wrist. 

None of this happens.

The only ones who will follow you are your ghosts.

Tag list: @baronessvonglitter , @almostempty , @probablyreadinsmut , @thundermartini , @gothcsz , @cas-readsandwrites , @harriedandharassed

Archive tag: @pedrostories

If you want to be added or removed just let me know! Thank you very much for reading❤︎

[grandlinedreams]

Ok I loved the whole reader is Kid’s/Killer’s sister. And I can just imagine her and Kid not getting along, and when the heart pirates and kid pirates run into each other, reader and Kid are like two cats fighting. Then Killer picks reader up under her arms like a kitten, and hands her to Law, all like, “this is yours”.

Could you make this happen please? 😭😭

I told myself I wouldn’t send anymore requests till they went down a bit more, but this scenario wouldn’t leave my head, and I wanted to see it come to life with your words. Asdfghjkl I’m sorry 😅

LMAO YES i loved writing it 🥺 but also don't apologize bb, I got you!!

[Heads up!: semi/non-canon compliant (idk either around Sabaody or in the 2 year ts), established relationship, sibling antics (Reader and Kid), cursing, silliness]

You love your brother, you swear that you do. You've stuck with him through thick and thin and at the end of the day, woe to anyone who tries to hurt him while you're around.

That being said, however, that doesn't necessarily mean that you like your brother or his general attitude towards anyone that isn't part of his crew.

Part of you gets it, truly ㅡ there's been plenty of skepticism and mockery when it comes to Kid and his goal in life. Finding the One Piece is a pretty lofty ambition, but you have no doubts your brother has the determination it takes. He's hostile because of it though, less keen on asking questions and more on the offensive ㅡ and his attitude towards Law's crew is no different.

Perhaps it's made worse, actually, for the fact that you're currently in a relationship with Law. Something your brother knows, and hates. Which is why you've found yourself, predictably, in another argument with him.

Anger boils in your veins as you raise your voice to match Kid's. "Stop treating me like I'm an idiot! I'm a grown adult!"

"Then act like it, damn it!" Your brother snaps back. "I don't have time to babysit you anyways!"

"Nobody asked you to, youㅡ" You yelp as hands hook under yours, your feet leaving the ground as you're lifted up. You know who it is, the only one besides Kid who'd dare to lift you like this in the first place. "Killer, put me down. Now."

The masked pirate ignores your demand, unbothered by the way you squirm in his hold before he sets you down in front of the Law and a handful of his crew, who've been watching this shitshow go down silently.

"This one is all yours," Killer tells Law, hand on your head and ignoring the way you swat at his touch, eyes narrowed and teeth gritted in annoyance. "For now."

"You can't just hand me off like I'm a package," you grumble, "are you that desperate to get rid of me? I didn't even do anything wrong!"

"Not getting rid of you," Killer cuts in, "just giving you some time away from Kid. I think you both need it."

Ever the voice of reason against his captain, Killer has a point ㅡ you could do with a couple weeks (or more) away from your brother and his crew, and who better to hand you off to?

You're sure Kid could think of better (or worse) people to leave you with, but all he does is scowl, silented by the firm steer of Killer back the way they'd come.

You watch your brother and his crew retreat, the scene not unfamiliar even as you sigh and pinch the bridge of your nose. "How mad do you think they'd be if I stayed with you permanently?"

You don't raise your voice and it's not quite an intentional needle to Kid, but he still comes to a halt and glares at you over his shoulder. "I heard that," he snaps, "don't even think about it!"

You adopt a face of innocence that lasts just long enough for your brother to turn back around, then glance at Law, who tilts his head. "The offer does stand," he says, even though there's a teasing gleam to his eyes that you grin at.

"I don't think I'll be truly leaving my crew anytime soon," you say as Law's own crew heads back towards the Polar Tang, and you wait until they've gone to snag your fingers in the front of Law's shirt, tugging playfully. "But I could be convinced to stay a little longer."

[sillyunknownkitkat]

Undertale, Underswap, and underfell brothers react to a reader (platonic or not) that is hyper sexual

Mind that you're responsible for your own consumption, vague nsfw under the cut and sentive topics

No dni banner because there's nothing really explicit but it's implied

Undertale :

Sans

He noticed slight changes in your attitude before your crisis started. You were getting more and more bold, which is quite unusual for you.

Sans was worried for the few day you disappeared but understood that you may not want him to know about your problems. It didn't make him any less curious though.

It was a week after your first "symptoms" that he really got worried. So he went to your hiding place to confront you about it.

"Knock knock" Sans said, standing right in front of the bedroom's door.

"Sans?" You asked surprised and a bit panicked.

"S'not how the joke goes, kid. Knock knock." His tone wasn't particularly harsh, but he made it clear that he wasn't leaving. He used a tone that you had learned to interpret since knowing him.

"Who's there?" You said recluantly, you didn't want anyone to know about your bad habits

"Will." You thought for a bit, trying to guess the end of the joke but couldn't figure it out with your head still full of what's currently going on

"Will who?" Sans smiles a bit. Even in bad times, he still likes his jokes. It helps him relax a little.

"Will you open the door so we can talk face to face?"

So after putting on a sweatshirt and pyjama's pants, you get up and open the door.

"Hey.." You look down at his slippers.

"Hey, how 'bout we sit down and talk a bit, mh? M'not upset with you, just worried."

After you both settle down on the bed, you bring your knees to your chest and wait for him to start talking.

"Soooo, what's up, kiddo?"

Yeah... This is awkward for the both of you

So after you explained the things you were doing and how you felt while he patiently listened, he just asked you one thing.

"Is it because of a traumatic event you've been through?"

Now I let you decide what happened or not because everyone is different, but let's just say that if a person did something to make you feel that way, they're going to have a not so friendly chat with Sans.

Papyrus

Now, this cutie definitely didn't wait to ask you what was going on. I imagine him being autistic

So, while our pretty boy is definitely not stupid, I like to think he still struggles a bit with social clues. This means that he did ask you as soon as he noticed, but it might have taken quite a while.

Now, we all now Sans almost canonically struggles with depression so Paps can definitely help you a bit.

So, since no one can resist that cool face, you explained what was going on and let me tell you... That man was upset! Not at you but at the fact that you felt that way and he couldn't do anything about it. Not that it was his fault, but yk (*￣∇￣)ノ

Now he spent days telling you how amazing you were, how he loved you (platonically or not *wink wink*), and trying to get you attention on something else than your problem so you'd feel better.

Because you do. Not "maybe", you do 😭🔫😾

The cat is me, obviously 🙄

Underswap :

Blue (sans)

Might get hate on this one, but I think he struggles with hypersexuality too. I don't remember who's Au's it is, but there is one where he's popular on Instagram and where he's close friend with Viper (sf sans from that au which I use). So he knew what was going on before you told him.

Bb explained that he was like that, too, so you guys took care of each other :3

Like getting in comfy clothes, cooking a bit, cuddling, watching a movie, ... whatever you want!

And like spa treatments to echother too!

I'll probably write a part two for him in the future because, like this scenario + him, it's just ✨️perfect✨️

Stretch (us papyrus)

Even tho he's younger than blue, he still took care of his brother and therefore knew what was going on too. So when he sees you, he just picks you up with his magic, drags you to the couch, and pretty much instantly falls asleep on you. Well, he's not really sleeping, but you don't know that.

After a while, you start to cry silently because you feel kind of disgusting. Stretch cling to you a tiny bit harder and starts to purr "in his sleep" to try and console you.

Yes, skeletons purr, don't ask me why or how.

Anyway, after a while of being soothed, you fall asleep, and Stretch is smiling like an idiot because he managed to help you even the tiniest bit.

After both of you wake up, he goes to ask Blue what he can do to help you and apply with the wtv he tells him.

Blue might even join to talk to you a bit :)

Underfell :

Red (uf sans)

He knew what was going on but didn't want to bother you with it. The man already knows how hard it is when you're going through tough times.

So he kinda let you be but sometimes he comes buy and offer you to do some things.

It's not in a really nice way but not rude either, just a bit rough, I guess

He was like, "How 'bout you do something instead of just lying there, huh?"

He is not an asshole. He just grew up in a difficult world and therefore kinda has a stick stuck up in his non-existent ass.

If you don't move, he'll literally drag you out of bed and sit you on the couch with a movie already picked paused on the TV.

If you talk about it, he'll listen and suggest things that might help you, but if you don't, he'll do whatever he can while being "subtle."

Edge (uf papyrus)

He catched you crying when he opened the door of your bedroom to ask you to come downstairs since dinner was ready. Now Edge is by no means a cruel person, but he had to do things to survive in the underground. I like to think that when they all got out, he and Red cut links with most of the other monsters.

So now he got quite a lot softer, but it's still Edge, so don't expect too much.

He sat down next to you and brung a hand to your back (a bit awkwardly, but the man is learning people)

"I'M HERE IF YOU NEED TO TALK." he told you in the softest voice he could manage to get out (it wasn't soft, but since you know him and how he talked you understood that he was trying)

Same as his brother, if you talk, he'll listen, but he might be a bit more insistant with his advice. Again, not in a rude way, just in his way of saying thing.

If you don't, he'll probably get a little offended that you don't trust him even after he tried his best to be soft but still understands why you may not want to talk about your problems.

Not verified afterwards, sorry ;^;

So this is it :) it's a bit shitty ngl but I tried my best.

Kinda self indulge, honestly, but I'm better now so dw

If you have a similar problem or even another one, my dm's are opened, don't stay alone in your misery.

I might not answer right away (I live in Western Europe), but I will as soon as I can

Have a good day/night, and be safe, everyone. <3

[celestie0]

Dropping this here because this is exactly how I feel about kickoff and ihm. Like yeah, sex is cool and whatnot, but the emotional content? The way the characters feel so real??? UGH 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

Anyways :3 I haven’t dropped an ask in so long !!! Ö I hope you’re having a good time and good luck with med school (i think i remember you said you were applying???) I’m halfway done with my summer class and I’m actually learning a lot ??? I genuinely like my professor and I’m understanding physics :3

But don’t be fooled!!! The entire time I’m thinking about kickoff Choso 🙏🏽 my sweet man would NOT understand what I’m going through

the "anyone can write porn" triggered me bc i feel like i am better at the characterization stuff than ever writing smut xd oh but i feeeeel this. i hardly read just pure smut haha i need some substance around it, and i think that's why i mainly write series too. that's why i'm SO glad to hear that you feel that way ab ihm n kickoff :'') thanks sm bb

thanks darling!! and nooo i am actually starting med school soon! application was last year (so glad that fuckin train wreck is over) omg i'm so glad you're enjoying your class!! it's the best feeling ever when you actually like your professor and feel like you're learning something

HAHAH i'm cryinggg kickoff choso barely had a few cameos babe xd actually YKNOW WHAT just for you berry i'll make it canon that kickoff gojo is an environmental science major :)) you guys can have a meet cute in one of your classes <3

[princesscolumbia]

It's been...

So something happened a week ago that is neither bad nor good, it simply is, and it's happened before, so thankfully the knowledge exists on how to manage and cope.

Now to explain.

Back in the 80s I experienced some mental trauma that hurt me so significantly I wound up 'splitting' into what we now call a system or a plural (I've also seen "plurality"). By the time I was in my early 20s, there were about 8-9 people rattling around in my head and the ones that got the driver's seat had proper names. Of course, at the time we only had Sybil as an "example" of "multiple personality disorder," so people like me kept our damn mouth's SHUT 'cause we knew the second we showed any sign of being neurodivergent in any way that resembled schizophrenic, we'd be marginalized HARD. The person in the driver's seat always (always) responded to my given name and assigned pronouns and never let slip there were whole conversations going on in my head as I was going about my day.

Around the middle 00s there began appearing in online spaces, mostly instant messaging spaces and BBS forums, where people began to express themselves as "multiples" and, I'll confess, the system that was me had too much programmed fear to be one (heh) of those brave souls. Nonetheless I started to see the acceptance (and the pushback) that has become more commonplace today.

Between 2015-2019 I experienced trauma so severe I was in CPTSD hyperarousal for a good chunk of it, which pretty much shattered my mental landscape. I was mentally just completely broken and had no way of really paying attention to more than the moment I was in. By the time I emerged from the 'fog,' I was functionally a 'singleton,' that is, not a system.

Starting earlier this year, there were a few signs that, in retrospect, should have made me well aware of something coming. I started feeling 'foggy' again, but I thought that was the depression and insomnia. The depression and insomnia were major contributors, as well, and REALLY should have been a wake-up call...but that's depression for you. I think the biggest "20/20 hindsight" indicator was starting to write "Double Isekai," a story about a single person who winds up isekai'ing into two people. This was in March.

One week ago yesterday I was in the kitchen emptying the dishwasher when I started, for lack of a better term, talking to myself and expecting an answer. I actually had the thought, "Things would sure be easier if I was a system again."

Considering I'm a transwoman and, with slightly different wording, that's classic egg behavior, the penny dropped and I figured out what was going on.

One week ago plus a few hours I sat my GF down and explained what happened back then, what was happening now, and that I was likely to 'split' soon. She just...accepted it. Barely batted an eye, made sure she still had the right pronouns, and went back to her computer.

I was so relieved I nearly cried. Before the divorce when I'd tried to 'come out' as a system to my then-wife, she had NOT reacted well. (And, in retrospect, it makes more sense how upset she was with me that I seemed so, in her words, "unreliable and inconsistent." All she ever knew of me was a 'guy' who kept changing behavior patterns in, to her, random ways)

As though my GF's acceptance were like permission, the split...happened. I could almost physically feel my head-mate separating from me.

And, as I'm sure you've guessed, I've been writing as though it was me going through all of this, and, more or less, it has. Since this split wasn't due to trauma and had been developing over time, it was far more organic and gentle. There wasn't a horrible tear where suddenly there's this nasty, goth punk with a scar around one eye, a penchant for black leather, and absolutely zero compunction to kill because of how traumatic the creation event was (yes, that was one of my alts in my original system, she was a nasty piece of work that never got a name and was never allowed the driver's seat, but did she ever enjoy hurting our stepmother) We both are full participating members with equal access to all our previous memories, even if we're looking at our past self with different lenses.

That's right, Bunnies, I'm back! The EGS fandom will know the name Helen from my days as "Dame Helen the Leather-clad." Even though I'm knight-emeritus now, I'm still quite proud of what we did during those years of the Order of the Bunny. Still she/her, still so very, very sapphic, and still a bit of a useless lesbian.

That said, there's been some changes.

I'm a dragon, along the lines of the crazy-famous Dragon HRT comic that's been super popular this year. If the body were mine alone and Dragon HRT were a real thing, I'd be partially covered in scales by now. I'm not as into gaming and music and art as my new other half is or the old me was. I'm a mother where the previous alt to bear my name was still trying to figure out how to people, and I'm the one with the head for numbers and driving and focusing on work. Also, even though I'm a woman with she/her pronouns, I'm NB and what might be called 'intersex' or 'futanari,' depending on what generation you're in and what part of the Internet you spend most of your time in.

Yes, I know, not a terribly creative name if you know my given name, but it's the one I chose when I emerged. I started out as what us systems call a fictive. If you go back into some of the comments sections on our writing on AO3, you can see references to proto-me scattered around and referred to as "the little author that lives in my head and looks an awful lot like Ranma-chan." On a somewhat silly note, though the pre-fully-realized version of me served as a sort of mental author for our previously unified self, I'm not the writer. That's Helen.

She/her, all girl, and SUPER sex-positive! I'm a bit (I'll confess) of a horny slut and since I'm bi/pan and Helen pretty much gave me control of the NSFW blog, you're probably going to start seeing more guys there than have shown up in the past. I've got a 'type,' though, and that type does NOT include facial hair or bears.

I can't STAND office work! One of our top priorities right now is to get something else...ANYTHING else to earn money so we can drop the office job we've been doing. It's boring anyway! I wanna get started on streaming, though I will NOT be streaming Star Trek: Fleet Command! That game is a bag of stress and I don't know how Helen plays it without wanting to hurt someone!

One thing that is pretty much ALL me is I like fitness! Before we knew fitness was good and it was something we learned to appreciate, but when I got all that I also got a LOVE for it! I can't wait to get back out there and run again! (...but it's getting into the hot season in Arizona, so we may not be able to just yet)

One amusing thing about this is we both realized we're redheads. The body is, sadly, very blond, but now we've got our first body mod goal we can both agree on and get behind.

Speaking of body mods, we're getting booba! I'm tired of being tiny in the chest 'cause of lousy genetics and craptastic HRT timing! We talked about it and our second major shared goal is saving up for top surgery. And we both want FFS and facial hair removal. Basically, I'm in charge of the body, which means FITNESS UPDATES!

That's right, I'm gonna be one of those annoying running fanatics and there's nothing you can do to stop me! 😆😆😆

In any case, expect changes as we figure things out. One thing we didn't really expect that has, nonetheless, had a pretty major impact is our energy level. It takes A LOT of sugars to keep us both going! There've been times one of us has basically taken a nap just to keep from burning too many calories before the end of the day.

Oh, and do you like these identifier bars? I made 'em! Turns out I'm the artist! If you want your own version for you and/or your alts, check out my new store on ko-fi!

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #304

…I am accidentally drunk. I took like half the amount of spiced wine that BB would have drank, and somehow I'm still drunk.

We are getting up at 5am tomorrow. I need to be in bed at 9pm. It is currently 7:25pm. I do not have time to wait to be sober. So I'm just gonna write and hope for the best!

I've been VERY busy all day today. I woke up at like 7 this morning, and I scrambled around the house trying to get myself packed up. I packed my CPAP, my laptop, a change of clothes, the dress I'm gonna wear tomorrow, all my hygiene supplies, and probably more things than that, which I can't seem to think of right now because my brain is kinda woobly.

(I had HALF a glass. WHAT THE FUCK.)

(…)

(…I almost never drink alcohol. I guess I should have expected this.)

Well. I also packed this:

I wove this tree together for BB and N for their wedding months ago. Today I put it in a jar with some gravel. When I got to BB's house, I hid it on top of her fridge. I am very tall (physical therapy gave me like an inch and a half of height because I'm hunching less; I'm 5 feet and 9.5 inches, or 175.26cm). BB, C, and Mg are here, and BB's mom and sister were here, too, and... I kind of tower over them. Sometimes I feel really awkward about it.

(I've had angry grown men tell me my height is "emasculating", as though it's something I can help. Being tall mostly means I stick out like a sore fucking thumb, and it sucks.)

Anyway, point is, I can still see it on top of BB's fridge. None of the other ladies here can see it, because of height and angles and stuff. I feel amused at this.

I will hide it in my bag tomorrow. And then I will give it to BB and N tomorrow. The tree is woven in some of BB's favorite colors; I did that on purpose. I think she's going to enjoy it a lot.

(Don't tell her, okay? It's supposed to be a surprise!!! 🤫🤭)

Anyway!!! I got a couple of nice pictures on the way to BB's house, because J drove me there. Here:

...And then I got to BB's house, where I took even MORE nice pictures for you!!

...And this!!! This is the fabled tub that I spoke on in a previous letter!!! The very same tub that I've been given permission to use!!!!!

...I will be using this very soon. Tomorrow, some fancy people are gonna do my hair, I guess, and they want it to be freshly washed. So I guess that's what I'm gonna do as soon as I'm done writing this letter!

BB lives in a very proud house!!! And this makes me feel incredibly happy!!!

BB, her sister, N, and I got breakfast from somewhere. Here's what I got:

I had to eat it in little bits; biting things is difficult when your teeth are upset from being moved around.

...It's okay. The discomfort now will lead to a better outcome overall.

From here, we went to the place to rehearse for the wedding tomorrow. I'm a bridesmaid, so I gotta wear a fancy dress and everything tomorrow. But it's easy; I just have to walk to a specific place and stand there until everyone is done talking! Piece of cake!

I got some pictures along the way. And I got some pictures of the place, too. But not too many; I'll take more of the place for you tomorrow! It'll be a surprise!!

Here are a couple pictures of the place!!

(I seem to have a thing for windows today...)

...I got pictures on the way back to BB's house, but I don't like how any of them turned out.

Still, BB, her sister, her mother, N, Mg, C, and N's friend G came back with us, and we got pizza...

In the background is the half glass of wine. Don't worry; I still feel kinda wiggly, but I followed it up with A LOT of water.

BB, her sister, and C and Mg are currently painting their nails. I'm thinking about joining them, but... I don't think I have time. And even if I did, I know myself well enough to understand that I probably won't be able to stop poking at it after it dries. I feel like if I use it, it'll be a waste of nail polish.

...I wonder if you've ever painted your nails, or thought about doing it. Nail polish comes in all sorts of pretty colors, and anyone of any gender can wear it if they want to.

If you decide to try it sometime, and someone gives you a problem with it due to you being a guy, just yell at them until they go away. Or call me and I'll kick them in the shins until they run away. "It'll be super easy - barely even an inconvenience", as Ryan George likes to say.

...I have to stop procrastinating getting washed in an unfamiliar place. I am safe here. Nothing weird is going to happen. This vague sense of dread is reflective of my past, not reflective of the here and now. I can reassure myself and give myself what I need to remember that I am safe, and then I can do the thing.

...I'm gonna go do the thing. It's gonna be nice, and it's gonna be good.

I love you a whole lot. So please stay safe out there in the world, okay? I'll wish for you to be able to get washed in a safe place with soaps in your favorite scents someday soon.

Keep working on it, okay? Please come home to this world full of people who love you, okay? So that you can be safe and cared for. Don't lose hope; you wouldn't believe how many people in my world need a friend just like you.

I'll write again tomorrow.

Your friend, Lumine

[screampied]

Hi screamy how r u?

Tbh, I'm a bit heartbroken from the latest jjk chapters & and I wasn't feeling that well lately anyway. Hope I'll get better soon but life isn't treating me well lately 😕

Could u cheer me up with a little gojo fluff? It's okay if u don't want to or lack inspiration, but it would be nice to read something from my favorite writer to get over my depression faster 🫠🤧

Love u 🩵

-👹

hiiiii demon bb 💓💓 im okay !!! i just got off work n im kinda motivated to write soooo m gonna write for a bit n mayb rewatch a few seasons of greysssss <3

i know right the recent jjk leaks is 🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️i’m still not over choso idk what gege is doing—

aw my luv i’m sorry :((( i hope you feel better soon 💓💓💓 and id love to !!! i have to come up w a scenario first but i did have a gojo fluff request about a week back i never started on 🧘‍♀️ i’ll see what i can do if im free today for some fluff ⭐️

lob u more pumpkin !!!! 💋

[quincyhorst]

Okay, okay. I enjoy writing observations about EuroB teams, and I'm glad they are getting a decent response so far. So, here's another one: For some reason in the game cutscenes, the reserve keepers of Brockenborg (Left) and Red Matador (Right) are seen defending the goal, yet both have the number 1.

...Yes, I'm aware this isn't much of an unknown fact, given it appears on the wiki. But here's something that tends to be quite overlooked on all of this: When it comes to Rose Griffon, the main keeper is playing there instead thus his number is left intact.

So... How come the number 1 for RM and BB change, yet for RG is the same as always?

Yeah, I don't know how to answer this either. I guess it was just a mistake, really. The BB reserve keeper also appeared on the respective first FFI episode (68), so I guess they went from there but messed up on the numbers. Dunno. 🤷‍♂️

But maybe we could give it a different view in-universe. Maybe the lineup could have been different back on the European qualifiers...

With this said, hope you enjoyed this short post so far. Under the cut we enter headcanon territory, so feel free to leave if you're not interested.

So, my ideas for both RM and BB are:

Since Red Matador was first formed, Juan Zubeldia was the main keeper of Red Matador, with another character being the backup. However let's just say the coach wasn't very satisfied with neither, and the Unicorn Fiasco (Happening post-Euro League) just proved him even further. For a long time he wasn't sure who he could choose, given there way too many interesting candidates. However, let's just say that the solution came in the most unexpected way possible, with Fermín Sánchez. It was quite the ironic pick, given Fer had barely played soccer before, not even during the special tournament done pre-FFI. Yet his skills, his physique and the potential he had were enough to convince the coach to pick him over any pre-existing keeper. A controversial choice, both outside AND inside the team. Trust me, there was somebody on the team who had too much tension with him. But Spain was on a hurry and the main tournament was happening soon, so... There wasn't a proper Plan B. And yes, this meant that not only Juan got benched, but the reserve keeper was kicked out. (He'll still be going to Liocott, worry not.) As for Juan's opinion on the matter, well, he became quite upset by this sudden change, feeling completely guilty of not giving his best. Being on the bench isn't that fun either with such teammates, but let's see the brighter side: At least Federico wants to comfort him :')

As for Brockenborg... I still have no idea how I could interpret this, but this is my current idea for now: In the original lineup, Gerald was the main keeper, but Thorsten was the reserve one. However before before the qualifiers started the coach realized that Berger had better skills to use on the field, and Gerald was of use on very specific situations. So, she ended up swapping them, adding a new item to her list of controversial choices pre-Liocott. I don't think neither keeper has very strong feelings about the matter. MAYBE Thorsten was unsure on him being first on the field than Gerald, but he got over it soon enough. Plus, he's not alone. He gets on well with the defense, specially with his new bff Luka.

Maybe i'll change this on the future, maybe not. Feel free to bring up your own ideas too!

[driaswrld]

omg sounds like you're having a hard time :(( please take care :((

i know eating can be hard sometimes when you have cramps but please make sure to do so healthily🥺 i remember my bio teacher told me once that spinach is v good for anemia ??? among other green vegetables (and lentils if i'm remember correctly ????)

chamomile tea is super good when you're on your period !!! plus, it's warm. make sure to put something warm on your lower abdomen too (is it autumn over there?? it will help with cold weather too perhaps) and rest a lot, as much as you're able to

i hope you feel better soon, take it easy !! ♡

-🫧

hi my love !

acc yes!! green veggies are rlly good for anemia (my mom has me munching like a rabbit lolol) mostly bcus i have trouble eating in general? so i've js been eating small portions so far to make sure i'm atleast not functioning off sheer will alone for the time being 😭

so far in terms of tea i've had mint today and hot milk which knocked me out 😭 i slept for like four hours straight and got up to have some fruits (acc just dried cranberries nth extravagant)

also it isss autumn over here my fave type of weather but its a bummer it affects me sm when this happens :(( i've been surviving with hot towels and tea and comfort films (also occasionally writing n journalling to keep myself busy)

thankyou for checking in on me bb 🥺 love you lots and take care of yourself too <33 (i'll add to that tsr wip i sent you soon so you'll atleast have something cohesive to boggle ur mind while i get better !)

[3pirouette]

Welcome to 3Pirouette

Fun, Fandoms, and Freakouts.

So, I may be fandom old, but never let it be said that I don't at least TRY to keep up with the times. So, I'll go with a new, cool, pinned 'about me' post.

I don't post my face or my real name here. I like to keep fandom and my writing something special just for me, and keep my RL out of it (even though I do tend to rant and scream into the void about my real life).

Here's what you DO get to know about me:

-I'm in my 40's in the Northeast US. I'm a licensed healthcare professional and I have a focus on dance medicine as I used to be a professional dancer and I currently still teach and choreograph part time.

-Yes, my Icon is me. That's me when I danced.

-I'm Cis/het/white/AFAB/non-religious and always looking to be a better friend and ally to those around me. She/Her/Hers. Politics lean liberal. Feminist. Eat the Rich.

-I've been writing fic since before I knew what fic was and I started reading it as soon as I found out what a listserv was! I consider myself fandom old (and stuck in some of my ways cough*disclaimers*cough) but fandom has been a huge mental health help for me throughout my life.

-I've been on Tumblr since 2012 and they will have to pry it from my cold dead hands, even if I don't use it right, tag anything right, or reply to people in a timely manner.

As for what I put on my blog, it's literally ANYTHING I like. It generally focuses on whatever fandom I'm focused on at the moment, and some politics. I attempt to tag, but honestly 1. I suck at it and 2. Don't necessarily want stuff going into the tags?

My ask is always open. Don't be shy- say HI, follow me, prompt, comment... I love meeting people on here. Just know I often suck at replying in a timely manner. Getting feedback on fics literally MAKES MY DAY.

Last, but certainly not least, when I write, I do it for fun, but I do my best to do it well.

I write for various shows and ship as follows in my writing and I'll try to keep this updated (In no particular order):

The Mandalorian: Din Djarin, with or without OFC/Reader

The Last OF Us: Joel Miller, with or without OFC/Reader

OUAT: Rumbelle With sides of Swanfire and the occasional TinkerHook

Marvel- Steve/Peggy or Steve/OFC, with a side of Clintasha and Pepperony

CSI- Grissom/Sara

X-Files- Mulder/Scully

X-Men- Rogue/Wolverine

House- House/Cameron

Stargate- Jack/Sam

BB/TDK- Het only- either Bruce/Rachel or Bruce/OC

BBT- Penny/Sheldon

Doctor Who- Nine or Ten/Rose

**All of my fic exists on AO3.**

AO3 is my preferred platform and where I keep everything MOST updated.

I also have these as a collection of my works:

My Steggy Events Materlist

My FanFiction.net profile

My live Journal

Postings to Paradox on Live Journal (Sheldon/Penny from BBT)

WRFA Archive (Wolverine/Rogue from X-Men) 

There you go, all the info you could want! 

...but if you want more, just ask.

[bonnissance]

Hicsqueak + 41!

‘YOU DID WHAT?!’

‘Let Mildred clean the storage cupboard,’ Pippa says with half a shrug, her hands relaxed in her lap as she sits before the mirror. ‘It was half a term away from a pigsty and I thought it would be a good opportunity for her to familiarise herself with next years ingredients, let her start catching up a bit earlier so she wouldn’t be so far behind when classes start again.’

Hecate pinches the bridge of her nose, headache forming behind her eyes.

This is exactly the kind of trouble Hecate knew was going to happen, once Cackle’s agreed to a student exchange of sorts, to send a representative from each year to Pentangle’s, and vice versa, and Mildred Hubble of all people had aced the test Dimity had set to chose the most appropriate student.

But had anyone listened to her?

No, of course not.

They never do.

But, at least now Pippa would know what Hecate is talking about whenever she began to rant and rage and worry about the most chaotic energy their school had ever seen. At least now Pippa would understand.

Surely?

‘She did a marvellous job,’ Pippa says, beaming.

Or maybe not.

part (ii) (iii)

[random-writer-23]

The Mechanic (Poe Dameron x reader)

Summary: Reader is a rebellion mechanic for ships and droids, and on repeated occasions is sought out by Poe.

Word count: 7,239

Warnings: Poe being a desperate loser but in an affectionate way, Mentions of injuries, probably canonical inaccuracies, star wars cursing, X-wing crash.

Edit: wow this fic has gotten over 100 interactions y’all are amazing ily!!!

A/N: I hope you like this one shot, this is my first time writing for Poe so hopefully I get better at writing for him. Also fun fact this is my 70th post so thats cool. Also I am looking for beta readers to read my works before I publish them to the rest of y'all so if that's something that you are interested in see the pinned post on my profile for more information. Anyway enjoy my lovelies, and as usual, any and all comments, likes, Follows, and reblogs are welcome and appreciated. Happy reading!

My workshop, my own personal safe haven, and the place where I'm currently making some small changes to a device prototype that would hopefully allow better cloaking for our rebellion ships. All I needed was a few more tweaks and then I'd be able to run some diagnostic tests to see if it works. I hum a random tune to myself while I unscrew the cover so I can tweak it. The door to my workshop slides open with a loud woosh, and I'm ambushed by the electronic beeping of one of my favorite droids.

"bee po woooip" BB-8 screams entering my shop and rolling to a stop at my feet.

"Hey BB" I respond putting my cloaking device aside so I could focus on BB-8. "what's up buddy" he responds with a couple of beeps and my eyebrows furrowed giving him a once-over look. "Kriffing hell, BB I just did your matinence upkeep last week what happened?!" I groaned guiding the droid over to a ramp he could roll up to get to my eye level. I put the screwdriver I was holding in my tool belt and walked over to my tool chest to get the tools I'd need to fix BB-8's problem. "Alright BB let's see what the problem is," I said and he chirped happily in response. I pulled my magnifying goggles over my eyes so I could see him closely.

"ooh BB okay, I think I see the problem, some of the wires over here got crossed, and then your gyroscopic regulators are all out of sync, no wonder you're not moving as smoothly as usual. and OH BB! This whole plate over here is broken, and these circuits over here are completely fried! How'd this happen!" I exclaimed continuing to examine the damage done to my favourite droid.

"weoop" He said dejectedly, and I chuckled buckling myself in for a long story.

--Time skip--

It turns out that BB-8 got all his so-called injuries, on a classified mission transporting valuable and delicate information to another rebellion base. However, he and his companions ran into some trouble with the empire. After his long-winded explanation about everything that went wrong, I cut him some slack and forgave him for ruining all the things I fixed last time.

I worked on BB-8 for more than an hour before finally fixing all his problems and getting him back to perfect working condition, then even after I fixed his issue, I sat and spoke to him about some of the upgrades I was developing for him, and for some of the other droids on the base.

"ooh, you know what I can do for you BB?" I asked flitting around my workshop quickly rummaging around to find the newest prototype I was working on for the droids on base. I brought it excitedly back to BB-8, and began explaining some of the upgrades I was giving him. 

"Now BB this signal booster I made will allow you to transmit signals to the next planet over, depending on how far away it is. I'll work on distancing issues soon"

"Waaaaaaaooopp" BB-8 chittered excitedly and I blushed.

"Oh BB you flatter me, but anyone could've done it, it wasn't that difficult," I replied with a smile as I installed the amplifier to his antennae. But was interrupted by the door of my workshop once again opening with a loud woosh. But instead of a droid or one of my fellow mechanics coming in for a chat, it was a voice I was unfamiliar with.

"Hey BB you in here?" The voice of a man called and I turned around to face him. I looked at him blinking in surprise as I forgot my magnifying goggles were still on my face, I took them off my eyes and put them on my head.

"who's asking," I asked taking my glasses off and laying them on the table next to me, so I could get a good look at the man who'd invaded my safe haven. 

"uh, Poe... Poe Dameron?" He replied as if it was a question, looking around my workshop in wonder. I turned in my chair to look at BB-8 who beeped happily and gave a little spin. The man, Poe, walked further into my workshop, glancing at all the gadgets and tools scattered around.

"yeah, uh sure come on in" I mumbled disgruntled by this man coming into my workshop uninvited, but I turned back to BB-8 with a smile on my face. "Almost done, BB" I mumbled putting my goggles back on and finishing installing the amplifier. "Alright BB, my new signal amplifier is still a prototype so you come back to me right away if you detect any problems okay?" I told him guiding him down the ramp, and over to Poe, who stood at attention when I turned to face him. "Now Poe, it's Poe right?"

"uh, y-yeah, ahem, yeah it's Poe" He stumbled over his words before clearing his throat, I threw him a small smile before giving him care instructions for BB. In the low light of my workshop, I saw his face flush.

"Well, then Poe" I put extra emphasis on his name, "I fixed all of the problems BB came in with, so he's as good as new, however, I did install a prototype signal amplifier that if it works as it should, will allow him to transmit across planets." I watched his eyebrows raise.

"impressive" He murmured

"I know" I responded with a smile. "But I just need you to watch over BB and ensure he takes things easy so he won't have to come back in for repairs too soon. And also bring him in immediately if you notice him malfunctioning" I instructed grabbing a towel and wiping the grease off my hands. BB rolled down the ramp from my table and rolled next to us. I looked back up at Poe, who had a dopey half-smile on his face, and even though the light in my workshop was dim, I could tell he was handsome. I'd heard about Poe Dameron, I'd just never run into him or introduced myself. Surprising considering he was the commander of an x-wing squadron and I was a mechanic, who fixed x-wings. But it was neither here nor there, I'd simply never had any reason to talk to him. I ushered BB and Poe towards the doors in an effort to get them out of my workshop. 

"So what you're saying is I'm invited to come see you again?" He asked leaning against my doorframe and swatting at BB-8 who was trying to usher him out of the room.

"Only If BB is with you... and if you don't track mud into my workshop again" I said looking at the trail of mud he brought inside, before kneeling down and placing a kiss on BB's head and ushering them out, quickly closing the door behind them before Poe could speak again. I heard BB-8's accusatory chittering through the door.

"No BB I'm not into her, I just met her, I just..." BB-8 interrupted him with more beeps and I chuckled. "no you know what, shut up, I've been looking for you for hours and you were there the whole time? Told me you were going to get repaired but didn't tell me you were going to get repaired by a cute girl. Conveniently left that part out" He replied their voices fading away. 

I laughed walking back to my desk picking scraps up as I walked, trying to clean up and put stuff away. 

--Time skip--

I was still trying to perfect my cloaking prototype when I got a buzz on my radio and simultaneously heard the woosh of my door open, and BB-8's electronic shrieking entered the room.

"Huh, Slow BB I can't understand you." I spun in my chair taking my goggles off my head to look at the droid. BB shrieked and beeped a little slower this time and I finally understood what he was trying to tell me. "They need me at the landing dock?" I clarified and he spun in a circle beeping his agreement. "For emergency repairs!?!" Why didn't you say so!" I explained jumping out of my seat. BB shrieked exasperated, as I hurried around my workshop grabbing tools I'd possibly need for the repairs. Once I grabbed everything I could possibly need I rushed out of my workshop and BB-8 rolled along behind me as fast as he could. Once we got to the landing bay I was completely out of breath from my sprinting, I mean running was hard enough on its own but running while towing a bunch of tools forget about it. I stopped in front of General Leia trying to calm my racing heart and catch my breath.

"Ah (y/n)! You're here! Perfect" General Leia said calmly and by her tone of voice if I wasn't previously made aware of the Emergency I wouldn't even know we had one.

"Reporting for duty General" I smiled having finally caught my breath "where do I start?" I adjusted my grip on my toolbox while she filled me in on what happened. I nodded along as she explained trying to contain my excitement at the number of repairs that were needed considering this was a somber occasion. As she came to the end of her explanation, I saw Poe walking by out of the corner of my eye, and I silently prayed that he would simply walk by. However the force was not on my side at the moment and he noticed the general and I. His face lit up when he made eye contact with me, and he turned around so he was walking towards us.

"Now I've divided up the repair tasks with you and the other mechanics but you're the only one I trust to make all the major repairs, you are my best mechanic you know this" General Leia explained and I beamed with pride.

"Thank you General, I'll get to work right away!" I replied trying to escape the conversation before Poe made it to us.

"I told you, you can call me Leia" She insisted at my formal manner, and I nodded with a smile.

"Ooh hoo on a first-name basis with the general?" Poe asked stopping next to us, as Leia and I Rolled our eyes in sync.

"I am... aren't you?"  I shot back and I saw the corner of Leia's mouth twitch upward. "Actually don't answer that, I have work to do" I nodded goodbye at Leia and spun around whipping my hair in Poe's face walking towards my first ship.

"Doing repairs are you?" Poe asked trailing behind me and I didn't answer him hopefully he'll get the hint and leave me alone. Thankfully I didn't have to answer him cause Leia did it for me. 

"Yes she is, so leave her alone! That's an order, Dameron!" Leia yelled after us and Poe spun around to face her walking backwards so he was still following me.

"Nice try general but we both know I don't listen to orders!" He shot back and I scoffed, "Besides she's got so much work to do she's gonna need an assistant" He saluted the general and ran to catch up with me. Which wasn't very hard considering I was weighed down by a giant toolbox. I tried to speed up as I heard his footsteps closing in but it was no use. He caught up and slowed his pace to walk next to me, and I felt the weight of my toolbox lighten as he lifted it and took it from my hand. I didn't argue with him carrying my toolbox considering it was quite heavy and he carried it all the way to the ship I was supposed to repair first. I pointed to an area on the ground where Poe could set my toolbox down.

"You can put my toolbox down over there" I mumbled walking to the side of the ship that has the most damage.

"So she speaks!" He grinned setting my toolbox down where I instructed, walking over to where I stood. I huffed my displeasure at his presence and ran my fingers over the damaged hull and cringed. Muttering to myself and making a mental note of things I need to fix. "Soo how long have you been working for the rebellion?" Poe asked leaning against the ship.

"Don't lean on that" I instructed and he stood up putting his hands in the air. "And pretty much as long as I can remember" I replied to his question pulling a wrench out of my belt and unscrewing one of the damaged plates on the ship's hull. Pulling it off with a huff I tossed it to the side causing Poe to have to jump out of the way to avoid it. I wiped some sweat off my face effectively smearing dirt and grease on my face.

"Woah watch it" he chuckled "you uh got some dirt on your face" he commented and I scoffed.

"Yeah it kind of comes with the job description" I shot back pulling another damaged plate off the hull. Smiling at the satisfying clank of metal on metal when I threw it with the other plate.

"She jokes too! By the way, you never gave me your name" He said trailing his sentence off purposely.

"Maybe I don't want to" I replied putting my magnifying goggles over my eyes so I could take a look at the engine.

"And why not?" He asked incredulously.

"Because you'll take that as an invitation to keep bothering me" I sighed, what the hell did the pilot do to this engine?

"Yeah you're right, but even without your name I'll just bother you more until I get it" he smirked.

"Listen Dameron-"

"Poe" he corrected.

"Listen Poe, I've got a lot of repairs to get done, and I like to work in peace and quiet so If you're going to sit here and bug me, you can at least make yourself useful and help" I huffed turning towards him with a frown.

"Fine fine, I know when I'm not wanted" He muttered surrendering and backing away from the ship.

"Obviously you don't" 

"I'll just catch you when you're not so busy next time" he grinned and I shook my head.

"Please don't," I said hurriedly but he turned a blind ear as he walked away.

"See you soon gorgeous!" He shouted picking his pace into a slow jog as he walked away. My face flushed at the compliment. 

I turned back to the ship in desperate need of repairs and cracked my knuckles anxious to get started on repairs and make actual progress. However even while I started getting into the ship repairs Poe stayed on my mind. I had to admit he was funny, funny and very handsome. But he was annoying, and he's a squadron commander, and I'm just a mechanic. So he's way out of my league not that I was thinking about Poe like that he was annoying, and kept bothering me, but he was very sweet. But I had to stop thinking about him, it was interferring with my work, and I had a ton more repairs to do by the end of the day. 

--Time skip--

I had finally managed to carve out a section of time for me to just sit in my workshop play some music and work on my cloaking prototype I had fixed all the visible bugs and was ready to run diagnostics on it. I stood up from my chair and scurried over to my computer trying not to giggle in excitement. Hooking up my prototype to my computer I loaded up my diagnostics program and attached the prototype to a piece of scrap metal so I could test it. I input the dimensions of the scrap metal and hovered my finger over the run diagnostic button when the door of my workshop opened with a loud whoosh. I audibly groaned and hoped for whoever was there that they had an excellent reason for interrupting me. Cause if they didn't I'd skin them alive and use them as a doormat. I heard BB-8s panicked beeps as he searched my workshop for me.

"Over here BB" I signaled him over to where I was and he started over to me. I was always happy to see BB-8, so I didn't mind him interrupting my diagnostic test.  "What's u-" I was interrupted by another person entering my shop.

"Kriff, BB you were going so fast I couldn't keep up" the now all too familiar voice of Poe Dameron accosted my ears as he entered my workshop. I audibly groaned looking at BB-8 my eyes full of betrayal. "Alright don't be too excited to see me now" he joked coming over to where I was with BB-8, I schooled my features into one of mock annoyance. 

"Don't worry I'm not" I mumbled, throwing a meaningful glance at my computer, I shut down my diagnostic program turning it off. It would have to wait till later. "So what can I do for you boys" I spoke mostly to BB-8 but it was Poe who spoke.

"So I wouldn't bother you unless I really needed to"

"That's a lie"

"Yeah that's a lie, but my ship got damaged on its last flight" Poe explained rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. My face lit up at the prospect of being able to fix something.

"And you want me to fix it" I clarified

"Of course! The general said it herself you're the best mechanic the rebellion has at its disposal" I blushed at his words. "Besides none of the other mechanics are half as cute as you are" he flirted and I was rendered speechless for a moment, my face starting to heat up.

"And here I was thinking that old Bolban was your type" I shot back turning away from him under the disguise of gathering my tools in my toolbox so he didn't see my face flushing. Maker, Poe has a way of weaseling his way into your heart, just the way you don't want him to. 

"Oh please Bolban is way out of my league" he replied and I laughed, covering my face with my hand in a lame attempt at hiding it. "Aha she laughs" he pointed out victoriously as I picked up my toolbox so I could go fix his ship. He pushed my hand away picking it up for me and walking out of my workshop without another word. My eyes followed him out of the workshop and I gave BB-8 a sideways glance. BB beeped a response and rolled after Poe. 

"He is not growing on me!" I whispered loudly at BB-8 as I ran to catch up with the two. I caught up to them and started asking Poe about his ship. "So what exactly is wrong with your ship?" I asked as he continued leading me towards where he landed it.

"Well it just wasn't running as smoothly as normal, the controls were jerky and I couldn't stabilize properly" he replied offhandedly "My turn for a question so what's your name?" He asked hurriedly. I squinted my eyes at him.

"This isn't a ask questions back and forth game Poe I'm trying to fix your ship" I insisted furrowing my eyebrows, in mock annoyance.

"But it could be a question game, think about it" He winked and put my toolbox on the ground next to his ship. 

"But it's not, so I'll take a look at it and let you know what I find" I informed him double checking my tool belt to make sure I had most of my main tools in there. Waving him off. 

"Uh no, it's my ship, I'm staying" he insisted crossing his arms stubbornly. I almost started protesting but there really was nothing I could do about it. It was his fighter jet after all.

"Fine, you can stay, but you better make yourself useful" I mumble dreading spending time with Poe significantly less than normal. 

"Yes ma'am" He saluted sarcastically giving me a wink, and I turned my face away from him, to hide my flush. Maker what's wrong with me? I'm supposed to find him annoying, he's done nothing but bother me for the past couple weeks. 

—time skip—

I spent over an hour checking on Poe's x-wing trying to find any evidence that something was wrong with it. But no matter where I looked his ship was in perfect condition as far as I could tell. I climbed down from the hull of his jet and turned to Poe once I got to the ground. "I just don't know what to tell you, Poe, your ship seems to be in perfect condition" I informed him and he furrowed his eyebrows. He opened his mouth about to respond when Finn walked by.

"(Y/N), Poe! hey guys!" He shouted happily, giving me and Poe a hug. I looked at Poe to see if he had caught Finn's use of my name and it took him a minute but it finally sunk into his thick skull that Finn had used my name.

"(Y/N)" he pointed accusingly at me "your name is (y/n)" he insisted.

"Yes fine my name is (y/n) don't wear it out" I huffed crossing my arms and sending a frown toward Finn, who looked between the two of us confused. "Thanks a lot Finn" I mumbled. 

"what what'd I do?" he asked, confused, and Poe answered him

"I've been trying to get her name for the past 3 weeks, and she hasn't been giving it to me, but now thanks to you Finn, I have it" He beamed proudly, and my heart fluttered a little at the sight. How could he get so happy over just learning my name. 

"Yeah that was for a reason, but as I was saying Poe, I can't seem to find anything wrong with your ship" I changed the topic quickly, and Finn looked at me confused. 

"Of course, there's nothing wrong with his fighter" He looked between the two of us, and I watched Poe's eyes widen, and he cleared his throat repeatedly. "Shut up Poe, but yeah I saw him getting his ship diagnostic when he came in earlier" He looked at me with a shrug. 

"Pft Finn doesn't know what he's talking about that wasn't my fighter diagnostic" Poe tried to explain, but Finn interupted him. 

"Uh yes it was, I heard his diagnostic guy say yeah everything's good as usual Poe, and then you said perfect flying as usual, and then you-" Finn faltered off in his sentence as Poe elbowed him in the stomach. 

"Alright, Finn she gets it" He hissed pushing Finn away who hunched over cluching his stomach. I looked at Poe, an unemused expression on my face, my hand on my hip and my wrench clutched tightly in my other. Poe laughed nervously. "Haha well you uh see, um so I y'know," he trailed off as I narrowed my eyes at him. "Alright fine! My x-wing is in perfect condition, I lied so you'd be forced to talk to me" he admitted.

"Are you Kidding me, Dameron? I could have been in my workshop the whole time testing my prototype!" I fumed poking him in the chest. "But noooo you just had to come bother me and make up a story so I'd waste hours trying to fix a ship that DIDN'T NEED FIXING!" I screamed and Finn backed away slowly.

"Yeah I'm just- I'm gonna" He pointed off in another direction and ran that way leaving Poe to be the sole bearer of my fury.

"Hey hey hey (y/n)" he held his hands out in front of him. "The day wasn't a total waste..." he trailed off seeing my foot tap on the floor quickly. " I mean come on... I know your name now." He finished speaking a goofy half smile on I his face as I screamed my frustrations. I took a deep breath and calmed myself down pointing an accusatory finger at Poe.

"If you ever, and I mean EVER step foot into my workshop, or approach me to talk to me without having either an actual proper emergency. Or strict orders from a superior to come to get me, I will murder you in your sleep. Do you understand me, Dameron?" I threatened him my voice lowered to a deadly calm, and for once he had no snarky remark. He simply nodded and I watched his shoulders deflate as I smiled satisfied with his agreement. "Good" I announced turning sharply on my heel and walking back to my workshop.

"She's even hotter when she's angry BB" I heard Poe sigh wistfully behind me and BB-8 beeped sarcastically in response. I resisted the urge to turn back to look at him, and continued to stomp away leaving him behind me. What was it that made him keep seeking me out, not that I was complaining, a hot, funny guy persistently trying to get my attention? It's not the worst thing that could happen to me. As I entered my workshop I caught myself smiling over thoughts of Poe, in all his annoyingness, the pilot was kind of growing on me. But I'd rather be shot dead by a stormtrooper than let him know that.  

--Time skip-- 

It worked! My cloaking prototype worked! After having to postpone my diagnostic tests for weeks, I was finally able to block out all distractions and test it and it worked! I laughed pumping my fist in the air and doing a little happy dance around my workshop. The best feeling in the world was knowing something I created and worked hard on worked to perfection. Of course, I'd still have to test my prototype on a bigger subject before presenting it to Leia. I sat down in my chair and started writing down things I could test my device on before presenting it to the general. I knew she'd be ecstatic to see what I've come up with. I was in the middle of making my list of things I could test it on when the door to my workshop wooshed open. And the beeps of my favorite droid were heard.

"Oh BB! You're just in time!" I swiveled in my chair turning to face him a grin spread wide on my face. "My prototype is done and it works BB! Can you believe it! It actually works! A few more tests and we might be seeing this bad boy on every ship in our fleet!" I sighed wistfully talking over the little droids' beeps. It was only when he ran himself repeatedly into my leg that I snapped out of my own head and listened to what he was saying.

"What? What about Poe?" I asked in too good of a mood because of my prototype to be annoyed or even pretend to be annoyed at the mention of his name. "HE CRASHED HIS X-WING?!?" I shot up from my chair panicked. Poe is the best pilot in our whole operation if he crashed his fighter something must have gone very wrong. I grabbed as many tools as my belt could hold and ran out to the landing bay as fast as I could. I arrived in record time and searched the area for Poe's X-wing and found it quickly. Everyone was gathered around it and Finn was helping Poe climb out of the pilot's seat. Poe leaned on him heavily until his gaze caught mine and then he swatted his friend away insisting he was fine. I approached him and he smiled wincing and clutching his ribs in pain.

"Wow (y/n) if I didn't know you better I'd say you look concerned for me" he grinned masking how painful it was to simply stand there in front of me, once again swatting Finn away when he went to support Poe.

"You may annoy me Dame- Poe but believe it or not I care" I huffed watching him try to suppress a smile on his face.

"Awe you hear that Finn she cares!" He looked at Finn who gave him a grimace. "I can die a happy man" He put his hand to his forehead miming a faint, and I rushed to support him.

"Don't even joke about that you idiot" I stood him up straight. "Now what happened?" I asked trying to move out of Poe's hold, but even being injured, he sure kept a tight grip on me.

"Oh you know the usual x-wing crashes, caught in a blaster battle with some empire tie fighters and, my engine went down during hyperspace travel, luckily I managed to touch down at the launch bay, relatively safely." He retold his story animatedly, as I unknowingly held my breath.

"Dank Farrik, Poe, alright well you get to the med bay while I get started on repairing your ship," I told him trying to pass him off to Finn, who reached out to loop Poe's arm around his shoulder.

"Uh-uh, you're with me (Y/n), you're not working on my ship without me." he protested clinging onto me like a koala. Finn and I gave each other a look.

"But Poe, you have to get to the med bay, and your fighter should start undergoing repairs as soon as possible" My reasoning fell on deaf ears as Poe turned his head away. 

"my ship my rules" he insisted stubbornly. 

"Oh you- I- Kriffing hell Dameron you're stubborn! Let's get you to the med bay. Your ship will have to wait" I rolled my eyes at Poe's smug expression as he threw his arm over my shoulder keeping his other hand pressed against his ribs. 

-Time skip because I'm not a doctor- 

I sat in the waiting room of the med bay fiddling with the tools on my belt pacing back and forth. Finn watched me from where he sat. 

"You really do, care for him don't you," He remarked after a long silence, and it stunned me enough to stop my pacing. 

"I mean I barely know him..." I insisted knawing on my bottom lip. Finn raised his eyebrow. "I only met him a couple of weeks ago, but he's got a way of weaseling into your head," I mumbled laughing lightly. 

"Yeah he does... he really likes you y'know?" Finn remarked, and I turned towards him. "for real, he tells a lot of jokes and brushes a lot of things off with a laugh, but he hasn't stopped talking about the cute mechanic who made him his droid's second favorite person" Finn laughed, and my face softened. 

"I didn't know he liked me" I messed with the tools in my belt nervously. "I just thought- Kriff, I don't know what I thought" I mumbled sitting down next to Finn. 

"Just, give him a chance, or at the very least hear him out. You don't even know the crazy ideas he came to me with to try and get your attention." Finn nudged me making me look at him and laugh. I went to respond but was interrupted by the med bay nurse, she looked at us her gaze not telling.  

"We've diagnosed him and have done everything we can, now he just needs to rest and heal" she instructed, and I let out a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding in. "you guys can go in and see him now" She turned and walked back through the door. Finn and I stood up at the same time and he gestured for me to go ahead. We walked through the door and found Poe's room. My breath caught in my throat at the sight of him in the bed. He was going to be the death of me, His wounds wrapped up with gauze and a lazy smile on his face. 

"you stayed" he murmured and I almost didn't hear him.

"of course I did, I was" I glanced at Finn for a brief second and took a deep breath. "I was worried about you Poe" I walked closer to him and sat on the edge of his bed. 

"you were worried about me" he reached for my hand then, and I didn't pull it away. 

"Yeah but don't let it go to your head" I chuckled sniffling. Finn stepped forward. 

"How are you feeling," He asked. 

"like shit" Poe laughed, wincing and bringing his hand up to his ribs. 

"Careful man" Finn replied, and Poe waved him off. 

"I'm fine" He hissed in pain trying to sit up. 

"you're obviously not" I cut in, trying to coax Poe back to a lying down position, he refused and sat up. 

"I'm gonna go check in with the nurse and see what's wrong with him," Finn announced, giving me a meaningful glance. He walked out of the room and I listened to his footsteps fade. Poe and I sat in silence before I snuck a look at him, he was already looking at me. I took a deep breath and spoke. 

"So... Finn told me you came up with all sorts of crazy plans to get my attention" I watched his eyes widen a little before he schooled his features. 

"Yeah, well y'know" He replied nonchalantly but I heard the waver in his voice. 

"I don't actually" I giggled, and he smiled a bit as I moved closer to him. 

"I didn't have to use any of them anyway, turns out all I needed to do to get your attention was end up in med bay" He smiled. "hurts like hell but I think it's worth it to get you to care" My face flushed as I tried to hide the smile blooming on my face. "So, when I get out of this prison will you let me take you for dinner." He asked, I contemplated my answer for a moment, I nodded slightly, and he grinned widely. "Wooooo" He cheered enthusiastically, and I laughed, we fell into silence, and I fiddled with my hands. I looked back up at him, but he was already looking at me with a smile on his face. I flushed and tucked my hair behind my ear. "Can I kiss you?" He asked and I looked at him my eyes widened slightly. "Please?" He added quieter than I've ever heard him before. He sounded almost nervous. He quickly regained his composure. "I mean I'm just so wounded, and it would make me feel better." He pleaded jokingly. I chewed on my bottom lip fighting a smile, he was so handsome, I leaned forward my mouth next to his ear.

"you're so pretty, Dameron" I whispered, leaning back slightly, smiling at the awestruck look on his face, I committed it to memory and closed my eyes leaning in and pressing my lips against his. It lasted no more than a couple of seconds before I pulled away, and when I did I watched him take a deep breath. "speechless for once?" I asked teasingly, and he smiled bashfully.

"I've been wanting to do that for a while" He admitted bringing his hand up to brush some hair out of my face. I leaned into his touch, and he moved his hand to the back of my neck and pulled me in for another kiss. I leaned into it, letting him lead, moving my lips in sync with his. He pushed against me eagerly deepening the kiss. I ran my hand through his hair tugging gently, he groaned and I smiled. His hand made its way to my thigh rubbing circles with his thumb. We only broke apart from each other at the sound of a throat clearing from the doorway. 

"got a little excited there Poe?" Finn chuckled motioning to the heart monitor by his bed which was beeping quickly. Finn and I laughed,  "the doctor said they're gonna keep you here a couple more days, just to keep an eye on you." Finn announced, and Poe groaned at the thought of spending more time in the med bay bed. 

"Hey I'll come visit you" I smiled tucking my hand under his chin and giving him a kiss on his forehead, I moved back so I could leave the room with Finn. Poe didn't let me back away before giving me another kiss. He finally let me go, and I moved away from his bed. "Get some rest Poe" I smiled. 

"Come back soon!" He told me, "I'll be sure to get better fast so I can take you on that date." He smiled slyly and I rolled my eyes. 

"Alright, bye Poe" I walked out the door. Finn followed behind me. I smiled, as Finn and I walked alongside each other leaving the med bay. 

"soo... took my advice I see" He teased elbowing me, gently. 

"Oh, shut up Finn" I rolled my eyes. We walked down across the grass to get back to my workshop. We walked in silence, for half the way there, when Finn cleared his throat and spoke up again. 

"He did it on purpose, y'know" Finn said hesitantly, and I looked at him confused. 

"did what," I asked. 

"uh, crashed his x-wing... he did it on purpose..." Finn mumbled, and I looked at him my mouth falling open. "it was one of the crazy plans he came up with to get your attention after you told him not to bug you anymore when he lied about having problems with his ship. So he figured if he had an actual emergency..." Finn trailed off and I clenched my fists at my side. I. was. fuming. 

"Kriffing hell, you mean to tell me he purposefully put himself in danger just so I would give him the time of day?!?!" I shouted. "Maker, of all the stupid, recklessly idiotic, ways he could have gotten my attention he had to go and get himself hurt, and put in the med bay" I fumed, ooh when I got my hands on Dameron. I looked at Finn really quick, and he gave me a questioning look. Before I bolted running back the way we came to the med bay. 

"(Y/N)" Finn shouted after me and I heard him running to catch up with me, I sprinted into the med bay building and arrived at Poe's door right as I saw Finn turn the corner barrelling towards me. I kicked open Poe's door. 

"DAMERON" I yelled and he turned towards me a smile on his face, the smile quickly vanishing when he saw the anger displayed on my face. His expression morphed quickly into one of fear, Finn stepped into the door frame, reaching forward to grab me and hold me back. "You're an idiot Dameron, of all the ways you could've gotten my attention you had to go and injure yourself! Do you know how worried I was? What if you had died huh? What if you got so hurt you could never fly again huh?" I tried to peel Finn's hands off of me, as I yelled at Poe. "when you get out of here ooh you're gonna be in so much trouble" I yelled Finn finally being able to drag me out of the room kicking and yelling at Poe the whole time. 

"I'll see you when I'm out!" Poe yelled.

--Time skip-- 

I didn't go visit him in the med bay, I was still fuming at him for purposefully crashing his x-wing just to get my attention. It was stupid and irresponsible, but I suppose it was kind of sweet that he was so desperate to get my attention. I sighed, I should go apologize for yelling at him. It wasn't fair for me to yell at him after he'd gotten in an accident, especially since it was on my account. I sat at my desk fiddling with a bit of scrap metal, and wiring. I had to find him and apologize. I was about to get my jacket and head out to find him and apologize to him when I heard a knock at my door. I guess his apology would have to wait.

"(Y/n)" A voice called out from the other side of the door. I tried to make it out. " I know you're in there" It was Poe, he must have been released from the med bay. I walked to my workshop door and unlocked it using the keypad I had installed, the door immediately wooshed open, revealing him on the other side of the door.  "(y/n) Hey," he said earnestly when he saw me standing there.

"hey, Dameron" I mumbled, not making eye contact with him.

"back to Dameron am I?" He joked halfheartedly, "listen um" I finally looked at him and he looked back at me with these big puppy dog eyes. My throat dried up, wow he was handsome, handsome but oh so stupid. "I um, I just wanted to apologize for making you worry like that, I was just so desperate for your attention, and you just wouldn't give me the time of day, but it was no reason for me to go and risk my life like that, it was reckless and irresponsible, I'm sorry" He rambled, and I smiled, here he was after spending days in the med bay cause he purposefully crashed his x-wing to get my attention, and he was apologizing for making me worry. I looked at him with a smile and pulled him in towards me for a kiss, I pulled away from him. And he looked at me with a dumbstruck look on his face. 

"Poe, Poe, Poe, it's okay" I interrupted him, sparing him from rambling any longer. "it's okay, I overreacted" I gripped his shirt tightly. "I was just so upset 'cause it really was irresponsible and dumb of you to crash an x-wing just for my attention, I didn't like seeing you hurt, especially when there were other ways for you to get my attention" I mumbled smiling slightly. 

"I know, I know, I'm sorry" He replied pulling me in for another kiss. I smiled into the kiss, feeling his hands drift to my waist. He pulled away not going very far. "Can you ever forgive me?" He asked teasingly. 

"I guess I can" I wrapped my arms around his neck. "As long as you promise never to do it again." He nodded excitedly, "good" I gave him another soft kiss on the lips. 

"Alright, cool cool" he smiled, "So if you're not busy, Finn, Rey and I are going down for dinner at the canteen, if you want to join us." He asked and I chuckled, "yeah I know not exactly the dinner date you probably had in mind but I'll take you out, for real this week." I nodded. 

"yeah, I've got some time" I answered. I walked back into my workshop to grab my jacket slipping it on. Walking back to the door I gestured for Poe to move out of the way, and I stepped to the other side turning to lock the door with the control panel. "alright I'm ready to go" I smiled, and we made our way to the canteen his hand slipping into mine.

--Fin--

QOTD: Who's your favorite star wars character?

Join my discord: https://discord.gg/9bwRmtXCuB

[thehalfbloodedwitch]

✿ "He isn't as bad as I thought he would be"- Send me one or 2 prompts from this or this list + a character from my masterlist and I'll make a blurb on it! (limited)

"Take me back to the night we met." From the angst prompt list :))

I'm ready for some angst!

Ahhh may! This prompt will always remain the best prompt ever! Here's your blurb bb! 💕

A Love so Longing (Blurb) (D.m. x reader x Astoria)

Pairing- Draco x Femreader x Astoria

Summary- The reader wishes she could meet her boyfriend once again. love him once again and make things go back to how they were. But things don't go according to what we want | Angst

A/n- Please read this blurb while listening to the night we met slowed version, I literally cried writing this while listening to it

Warnings- mentions of cheating

Words- 998 words (got a little carried away)

Draco Masterlist Main Masterlist

"Babe, would you like to watch the stars tonight at the astronomy tower?" You wanted to have some fun with your beloved boyfriend, so you asked in a really cheerful and bright manner. You needed a break after your exams, and what could be better than going stargazing with Draco?

He frowned at you and said, "Oh, sorry dear, I have some work to do tonight. But once my work is over, we can," before approaching you and giving you a tender kiss on the forehead.

"Ughhh fineee," you replied as you held him, his hands on your waist and yours over his chest. However, something seemed very off about the hug; you knew he would never lie to you.

Leaving the tingling sensation inside of you, you went to the astronomy tower on your own and as you climbed the stairs, you thought back to the first time you met Draco, and the first time you spoke to him.

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

You were enjoying the view of Hogwarts from the side of the astronomy tower with your legs dangling down when you heard light footsteps ascending the stairs. At first, you didn't mind the sound, but as you heard someone clearing their throat, you turned to see who it was and were startled to see grey cold eyes.

"Um, Hello Malfoy," you said as you then turned around to face the view in front of you when Draco said, "I would like you to leave" "Who are you trying to threaten Malfoy, I don't see Harry anywhere here," you said as you looked at the forbidden forest, the trees were swaying to the chilly wind

He continued, now more angrily, "Leave Y/l/n, I don't want to repeat myself again," You turned to face him and said, "This isn't your property Malfoy, I don't mind you standing here." you then looked at his eyes which appeared to be in tears, and the moonlight made the irises of his eyes sparkle.

He groaned and turned to face the sight that you had been admiring the entire time. Your attention was drawn to him as he stood next to you, his hands in his pockets and yours behind your back on the floor where you were seated.

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

When you touched the slightly dusty railing, your memories of Draco were as clear as if you had just met him. His endearing smile, his unruly blonde hair, and a plethora of other qualities made him easy to fall in love with.

But there you were, sitting by yourself in the tower with your legs dangling and your eyes fixed on the stars, missing the company of your boyfriend as the coldness surrounded you.

You were aware that something was terribly wrong, but you refrained from making any assumptions out of caution rather you accuse Draco of something you knew wasn't true.

You proceeded to look at the stars in the sky after hearing footsteps and some giggling noises coming from the tower's staircases. As soon as you located your favorite constellation, Draco, you heard a voice that you will never forget.

"I love you," the voice said, this voice was raspy and deep, the voice belonged to none other than your lover. However, the words he spoke were intended for someone else, not you.

You turned to look at Draco, whose eyes were fixed on a set of dark eyes—Astoria Greengrass's eyes. Then Draco's lips met hers, and her hands cupped his cheeks as his clasped her waist.

Unknown to them was your presence, your eyes widened and you stood up as soon as possible, you were shocked, and your lips were parted as you let out a shaky sigh.

When his icy eyes met yours, Draco gently parted his lips from Astoria's. He pulled his hand away from her waist as panic filled his veins.

When Astoria turned to face you, she had no idea what was going on. As she began to speak to you, Draco interrupted her, saying, "Tori, could you leave for a second, I-I just need to talk to Y/n." Astoria turned back to face him and nodded.

As her footsteps grew fainter and fainter, you couldn't hold yourself any longer, "You haven't told her, have you?" you questioned, attempting to maintain a confident façade in front of your lover or the one you loved as her footsteps grew fainter and fainter.

"Y-Y/n this is not what-" "What it looks like? I've had enough of your games, Draco. Please answer my question," you said, your voice breaking at the end of your sentence, he answered, "Yes" as his gaze fell on his feet.

How could he have treated someone like this? He felt ashamed of himself. He muttered "Y-Y/n" as guilt encircled him and began to devour him whole. You interrupted him and said, "Save it for later," wiping a tear from your eye.

"Y/n, please! I-It was an accident-" "Was I not good enough? What made you do this Draco?" you asked as your eyes glistened, "It's not you Y/n, it's-it's me, I was a fool to do this" Draco said as he ran his fingers through his hair.

His voice broke, "Please Y/n, forgive me for this one time, I-I," and he continued, "I cannot live without you."

You let out a shaky sigh again, trying not to cry in front of him, "No Draco, I can't anymore, I don't see the Draco whom I loved anymore, I don't see the Draco I had met."

After saying this, you passed him and said, "Take me back to the night we met," as you opened the door to the tower. After that, you shut the door and started to descend the stairs.

When you closed the door, Draco's hands were still holding the door as he cried out in defeat. He had been left helpless on the other side of the door. He was aware that he had failed, and that he would never be able to forgive himself.

Astoria approached you as you came down the tower and inquired, "What happened, Y/n?" You simply replied with a smile, "You should go there; your boyfriend is waiting for you," and you walked away silently as you cried your way to your dorm.

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Tags- @miss-celestial-being @blackthunder137 @itchywitch33 @siriusblackstwin @pottahishotasf @prttydolls @nicofiliac @roguecheneyswife @steveslittlesunflower @slythermuf @cait2212 @writingwitch007 @crisppudge @draco-spencers-girl @tsukibaby1 @dracoslittleangel @nottluvr @enchantedforever @gachabella23 @raajali3 @lazydreamer19 @e-m-christina @zmxchs

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[k-s-morgan]

Thinking of you! Please stay safe!! xx

Thank you so much <3 And my big thanks to everyone else who reached out with support! Seeing your lovely words when I managed to access my Internet made my day so much better. I'm doing ok electricity-wise now: we first got it back around midnight yesterday, and the entire building could hear my happy squealing :D

I was really worried about money during this black-out, so as soon as I got my link to the world back, even though it was midnight, I jumped from my bed and rushed to start working, and I managed to complete three projects, something that would have taken me three days normally. So there is at least one benefit to this nightmare! I stopped wasting time browsing Tumblr and reading online discussions and boosted my productivity))

Now we seem to be getting electricity for about 6 hours daily, which is good. I really want to answer some asks, so I hope I'll get this chance today. Want to complete another piece of work for now.

I have some good news for both my Tomarry and Black Butler readers: the first chapter of my new Tomarry story is going to be up soon, which means that I'll start writing another BB chapter much earlier than I expected!

[captainaikus]

the consequences, served fic? i ate and left no crumbs. it was simply magnifique ✨🤌. im so excited to meet Rin in the anime, God i hope it’s soon. he’s gotten so much hype and like these works abt him have not yet failed me to get hot and bothered like sir 🥵😩😮‍💨. melt me in a puddle why don’t you. asfnkhffghgdy it was great and i can tell you had fun writing it so that makes it even better. i can’t wait to read the next NNN challenge fic. how was your day btw? good i hope? *sends many squishy virtual hugs*

- ✨ anon

As you should! ૮ ˃ ⤙ ˂ ა Couldn't leave Rin hanging after that spicy video call right? He was bound to come home and tell you what bad girls get. He's a brat tamer and such a dom one of these days he's gonna be on the receiving end of it

Oh honey, Rin in the manga was pleasantly unpleasant 💀 I can't imagine him in the anime; but I am curious to see if his va delivers the dead and cold voice that I've imagined him have

Coming to the writing process of it; I had originally planned on him having give the reader somno, but then I changed routes and went with this. I had a field day with this one ngl cause this kinda smut is what I'm good at writing and I can't imagine him with a soft side in bed (unless something goes really wrong) but otherwise? He's straight up mean. And when I was reading the fic just to see what tags I should add before hand I was just sitting there like 💀 well this was a lot to unpack and at the same time, Rin has taken the virginity of my bllk smut starting line. Cause this is the first time I've wrote about penetration for any character from bllk... (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ) goes onto explain that I have a lot of ground to cover but we'll get there piece by piece and with time.

The next NNN fic is gonna be a tough pull cause I got even more ideas so I'll either be having a field day or *holds head between hands* and I'm also working on a series for my beloved (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ) [ikyk who it is]

I'd like to think everyday is beautiful (despite the angst I write online that hurt people) *sips milk* but I'm also running out of music so I'm trying new artists...

But last night, I finished upto 5 eps of blue lock. Nikko ૮(˶˃ᆺ˂˶) poor bb i wanna hug him so badly cause he looked so broken (but i was kinda surprised to see his eyes cause i don't think it was there in the manga until the later chapters?) and we're getting close to the 1k mark (>﹏<)

But yeah good days! I hope you have one too along with good reading!! ꒰✿ˊᗜˋ ꒱ ‹3

*sending virtual hugs back*

[karasunology]

━ ❛ ➶ LOVE IN TRANSLATION ❜

➜ a walk through of tsukishima's love languages told through headcanons.

-ˏˋ ➶ character(s) ━ tsukishima kei <3

[ ♡ ] you've received one love note from jae ! would you like to read it ?

💌 . . . finished writing this 8 minutes before the day ends, and i'm already drowsy y'all. but i had another headcanon to write for iwaizumi😔✋ so f.

💌 . . . edit, now i'm posting this and realized i'm better at writing whenever i'm half asleep😌 anyways, hope you bubs enjoy this !! <33 aone would probably be next i hope. also requests are open!! almost done with my inbox & i have nothing to do, so send an ask and i'll write em.

TSUKISHIMA KEI.

➜ tsukishima, just like iwaizumi, is not the best at pda.

➜ but not because of the same reasons.

➜ homeboy was just not the best at showing those type of emotions, preferably to try and mask those in snarky, and obnoxiously mean remarks.

➜ bb boy needs to lay off his salt

➜ like he'll have a kidney stone one of these days ngl

➜ tsukishima was, surprisingly enough, the first one to confess between the two of you. reasons being that these overbearing feelings of his, that he was unaccustomed to was a bit too much for him and just decided to confess to you out of flustration.

➜ and in his thoughts, and i quote

“ just to get this over with ”

➜ he knew you wouldn't accept it so atleast he could it it off his chest and cry himself a river and get over it

➜ mans was too practical lmao

➜ but you didn't reject him, and in fact you returned the same overbearing feelings he carried that would create a whirl wind of emotions in the pits of your stomache, and he did not, in fact, cry himself a river

➜ because holysh!t you actually like him back ???

➜ homeboy never thought this through

➜ tsukishima never would have thought you'd accept his confession

➜ but nevertheless, he asked you out right after, still in deep shock and as if he was still floating in cloud nine.

➜ tsukishima was awkward when you guys started dating, no; it's probably you too.

➜ physical affection was OUT the window in the first start of your guys' relationship.

➜ and when you guys DO start attempting physical contact, he'd be so stiff lmaoo

➜ tsukki isn't showered in these types of affection okay?? you're probably his first s/o

➜ whenever you'd hug him with people around, he wouldn't buldge or would just entirely deny you of it

➜ s h i t  hurts tsukki :(

➜ it wasn't like he doesn't like you ─ goodness no, bb boy was probably wrapped around your finger.

➜ it wasn't an everyday sight seeing tuskishima with an s/o

➜ he just couldn't for the life of him do pda justttt yet, especially with all the eyes watching you two interact

➜ whenever tanaka or noya comments that he's too cold to you, or if anyone says that you deserve better, he'd do that shit-eating-grin, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEANN

➜ THE ONE THAT MAKES THAT PUSSÉ WET 👅👀💅

➜ and say

“ atleast i have an s/o & not just go around asking kiyoko-san for her hand in marraige. ” to tanaka or noya

“ and you think you're better for her ? ” to anyone that dares say anything about y'all's relationship

➜ but would also have this guilt-tripping churning on his stomache because you probably did deserve better

➜ the day you guys had your first kiss was when a guy called him out, saying they were better for you than he could ever be.

➜ and out of his built up insecurities & flustration, y'all just had this tension between you two and next thing you knew, you guys were kissing

➜ which may or may not ended up as a makeup session🤪😳

➜ and he was just surprisingly?? good ?? at it??

➜ ugh sanaol

➜ after that incident, tsukishima and you talked your relationship through and his insecurities ( also another sign he's whipped for you, because he never does these type of shit. )

➜ bb boy was a bit more comfortable at physical affection with you

➜ pda? he'd probably kiss you in front of the person the person commenting unnecessary about your guys' relationship, or if anyone dares to flirt with you in front of him

➜ and he'd have you out of breath from it and would have that smirk on his lips

➜ fook let me just kiss you ahHh

➜ but other than that, he prefers to stay low on pda, though, holding hands is a must

➜ but not without a remark from our mcdonalds fry

“ your hands are too sweaty ”

➜ would 100% flick your forehead

➜ like if he ever thinks you're annoyingly cute, he'd just flick your forehead lmAOOO

➜ one time y'all were away from each other because he had training camp, and when you guys finallu saw each other again, you couldn't help but run up to him & kiss him mwahhh

➜ and he'd be like 😳🤢

“ disgusting, do it again. ”

➜ but would be the one to pull YOU into a kiss

➜ phew CHILEE🥵

➜ physical touches are already something

➜ but what about non-physical ones?

➜ nicknames

➜ N I C K N A M E S

➜ they are a MUST in your guys' relationship

➜ if you're short, homeboy would call you chibi-chan.

➜ if you have a huge forehead, bb biy would call you forehead-chan

➜ while you would call him megane-chan/kun

➜ tsukki is also a good one

➜ bitch too

➜ half would be so weird but are still endearing to the both of you

➜ doesn't let anyone else probably other than tadashi, akiteru & his mom to hold his glasses for him

➜ and you too

➜ he would let you touch it and wear it, though without a playful roll of the eyes and maybe a side remark, since he is tsukishima kei

➜ one time he was teasing you and acted too tired to put on his glasses and made you do it

➜ and while you guys were eye levelled as you guys sat in his bed, almost nose to nose👀😳 the second you put on his glasses on him perfectly, he'd pull your arm gently towards him as you landed safely onto his chest, his head ontop of yours and you guys just sat in silence;

➜ and with nothing but your two beating hearts created a whole new melody once they were molded together

➜ would call your grades trash✋ but would offer to study with you

➜ thus born, was your study sessions/dates

➜ would SHARE ! HIS ! EARPHONES ! WITH ! YOU AHHHHH

➜ PUTEKNAOL😤

➜ has bought headphones just for the sole purpose to listen to music with you

➜ AND NOT JUST THAT YALL

➜ 😭😭😭

➜ HE MAKES PLAYLISTS FOR YOU

➜ MARRY ME SIR

➜ UGH IM HIS CERTIFIED WH0RE

➜ AND IF YOU WOULD DO THE SAME, HE'D DROP ON HIS KNEES AND JUST MELT AND SAY “ i will marry this bitch one day ”

➜ y'all would probably listen to both playlist alternately while you guys just either vibe to it or fall asleep with each other

➜ i have other things to say but i have to stop myself from spoiler my new mini headcanons series coming soon