#i'll walk with you my love
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singerorpheus · 1 month ago
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i have no explanation for this
[id: a video of clips of hadestown, mainly of the 2024 west end production, set to hozier singing an old irish ballad with the lyrics overlayed.]
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vaguely-concerned · 2 months ago
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on the one hand I think inner demons could stand to have a bit more romanced rook specific content, but on the other hand the underlying in-built implication that 'yours is the one true voice of comfort and safety in my inner world' is a sentiment and intimacy so way beyond the romantic or the platonic or any secret third thing you could care to name that it makes me lose my entire poor little mind a bit. it's so big and fundamental — near-existential — that in that exact moment at least the distinctions kind of seem irrelevant.
all the people lucanis' mind conjures up along the way are relationships he has that are unavoidably mixed and fraught in some ways even when they're also full of love (they are fraught BECAUSE they're full of love) — the good in them inseparable from things that hurt him at the same time. (it's about: the basic disorganized attachment patterns this poor guy is dragging around with him. careful with those, they're dellamorte heirlooms. what you love also inevitably hurts you and you won't be allowed to have one without the other, you have to surrender parts of your soul to hold on to what little you have left: this is the story up until now.) and the idea that rook isn't that to him — that beneath the fear of wanting them when romanced (which is more its own separate thing because within this psychology, actively wanting something and not just clinging on for dear life to even a meager status quo lest you lose it is in itself dangerous bordering on catastrophic), this is a relationship where there isn't resentment, or guilt, or shame, or dread, or rage, or self-hate, or any of the other emotions that keep him paralyzed, unable to move this way or that. no debts, nothing owed of yourself and your soul's substance except what you can freely and safely and happily give. love and freedom don't coexist — but, I mean, you're almost starting to make me think........... unless...👀👀👀. the unconditional and undramatic 'you are here and I am here with you, you can be exactly how you are right now with me and it's safe for us both even though you're afraid it won't be, I'm not going anywhere' acceptance rook shows him here that he returns to them in the big romance scene, when it's rook who needs it. the way he's just. standing there in the center of it all, like a child desperately helplessly waiting to be found, hiding in the place he hopes you'll know to look first. (rook does know. it's one of the first things they say in there.)
in short the most important room in his little mind palace for the romance is the very first room — the one where rook isn't. where, in fact, rook cannot be, because they disprove the entire structure of the place with their existence and presence in his life. with everyone else he's putting words in their mouths about what they think of him, and rook is the one who actually gets to come in to speak their own words to him — and have him listen. ('he'll listen to you, he always listens to you', 'your voice is a comfort'.) of course rook isn't present anywhere else in there — at the risk of stating the obvious to a tedious degree, they aren't one of the locks, they're bringing the key. in the very finest 'the messenger and the message' sort of way.
#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#rook x lucanis#rookanis#dragon age meta#rook is his first brush with actual safe attachment. and to me and because of who I am as a person#nothing could be more romantically devastating or impactful fhdsjkfhs that's literally the unreachable wistful dream the pie in the sky#the garrus romance echoes too. some of the same stuff going on under the hood here#you know who else he's sneakily like too actually? iron bull. the 'no matter where I turn I'll hurt someone I love' and dissociation stuff#there's that whole line about 'walking close to the edge or whatever'#which is masterful as a diversion b/c what this romance is really about is feeling truly safe with someone#in a sort of weirdly realistic way that makes it struggle with the conventions of video game romance but sure is Doing something!#and I unwittingly made a rook who also is on that specific arc so it's working out just devastating for me thanks for asking#the part in andrea gibson's 'prism' that's like. there is no shelter in the womb it's where you learn the cord that feeds you#could at any moment wrap around your neck. I think that's the initial understanding of love here. which is not good. if you think about it.#I don't think I really write these kinds of posts btw I just black out for a while and when I wake up from the trance I too#get to read what the fuck I've been thinking about finally. corralling that raging electric storm#that keeps overtaking my neurons at regular intervals and translating it into if not sense then certainly words. lots of words#no one is ever more surprised than me to find out what i'm thinking and feeling
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greywoe · 1 year ago
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Brienne said, "I remember a woman... she came from some place across the narrow sea. I could not even say what language she sang in, but her voice was as lovely as she was. She had eyes the color of plums and her waist was so tiny my father could put his hands around it. His hands were almost as big as mine." She closed her long, thick fingers, as if to hide them. "Did you sing for your father?" Catelyn asked. Brienne shook her head, staring down at her trencher as if to find some answer in the gravy. "For Lord Renly?" The girl reddened. "Never, I... his fool, he made cruel japes sometimes, and I..." "Some day you must sing for me."
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0m3g45n1p3r4lph4 · 6 months ago
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Modern day job hunt really helps me understand why people would rob banks
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aeb-art · 3 months ago
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note: the following is three (almost four) years post-game
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okay fine i'll just draw comics for my au since writing is so dang hard smh
anyways welcome to two coins! where loop shows up again but siffrin only got the one hat ending
edit: part two
#2024#isat two coins au#isat loop#isat mirabelle#isat siffrin#isat spoilers#on technicality#isat#in stars and time#this was also an excuse to play with mira's hair again bc i wanna see her in braids so bad! with beads that click clack as she walks!#hairier isabeau... oh merciful neptune oh sweet aphrodite i thibk i hauve covid#also none of these outfits are like... definitive. i'm indecisive so i want everybody to have a wardrobe#LOOP'S HAT IS NOT SIFFRIN'S BTW they prioritized hiding from siffrin over finding where it landed oop that thing is GONE gone#that coin attached to the tip of that hat is also not siffrin's... but siffrin doesnt know that...#also ​hey yall ever think about how loop can kinda turn their light out and maybe be invisible? i do#anyway this au is also loop/siffrin/isabeau just fyi... also maybe the tiniest of shoutouts to loop/odile if i'm feeling cheeky#also also also... loop still uses they/them but there will be more feminine terms used for them in this au ;u;#baby finally started seeing themself as a person again and is reevaluating their gender#people around where they've been frequently traveling call them miss lu or some call them lady#eventually when the polycule is complete i want siffrin and isabeau to both call loop ''my lady'' bc the thought just makes me melt#you don't /need/ to know that but i'm telling you#okay i've been trying to articulate my thoughts in the tags for half an hour so i'll stop now...#have a good day/night i love you mwah mwah mwah
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fernaldoishere · 9 months ago
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@lonlonmilck your wish is my command
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I'll eventually draw a version with her coat on as well to make it look more like a suit!!
Should really try doing backgrounds again soon ...
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tls123 · 5 months ago
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when your wife is hot and a bitch
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xxplastic-cubexx · 3 months ago
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adding 'tentacles are in the walls' to my list of vague x mansion facts
(X-Men #25)
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mo-ok · 6 months ago
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concussion king Yuma Ozora pls observe
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monstermoviedean · 2 months ago
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if you have a good vibe/kind thought to spare and could send it my way. i'd really appreciate it.
#saying goodbye to my friend murphy tomorrow#i'll be okay. it's the right decision and i'll get through.#life is just going to be really hard and sad for a while#i don't want to talk about it in any detail but i feel like i have to say it out loud#and i have this paranoid anxiety thought that's like if I don't tell people he's gone they will ask about him#snd I won't be able to handle that for a little while#I don't need acknowledgment or sympathy. I don't need to talk to anyone. I don't need cheer-up fodder#so no need to send me anything or talk to me about it really i promise#just if you can take a second to love and appreciate the animals in your life. that would be really nice.#you don't have to tell me about it it would just be nice to feel there's love out there#writing this all out is making me feel so stupid. i've deleted and rewritten several times#but i gotta because it would be a lot worse if i was worrying about not talking about it#so yeah. no need for likes or comments or dms or asks or anything. just give someone some love for me ok?#murphy is the senior yellow lab you may have seen me post pics of sometimes. he's my parents' dog but he's my buddy.#and he's gotten me through a lot. like a lot a lot#and i'm going to miss the hell out of him#and i'm so worried about my parents. they're going to have a much worse time than me.#and they don't need anything else on their plates right now#it's just everything you know?#and all at the same time too. 2024 has been just one gut punch after the other#so yeah. if you could give your pet a hug or a treat or a scratch or take them on their favorite walk. that would be awesome#this was good actually typing all this nonsense out helped a little. still don't want to talk about it but at least i have ideas for#the 'leave me the fuck alone' email i'm going to send everyone tomorrow at work
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faaun · 5 months ago
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we sang in the aeroplane over the sea tgth ☆
#27% circle line with a lovely friend of mine rail tracks screeching etc etc u know the usual. im just gonna write down memories#a few weeks ago my friend read thus spoke zarathustra by the fire to the music she was dancing it was her silhouette#against the flashlight lit up gold and royal blues and tiger's silk i tried not to fall in love with her. in bordeaux we searched#for pomegranates he sent her 300 quid by the beach she cut it open with a knife her hand covered in red we each had a taste of her work#sweet red wet the sweetest grit. too barely clothed to go into the cliffside church they painted my eyes we painted hers#8 shots of gin she screamed joyfully IT'S ALIVE! at the book she said become the child i said i feel like a monster she said i was insane#i tried to believe her. fortified wine and later a red pen crossword defiled by humidity her hair in my hands two king sized beds#pushed next to each other she took her top off she told us to watch her arms raised up the musculature on her back was precise cut from#marble we saw oceans we saw the birds take cold baths the midnight sun over a wasp-infested pool our chemicals in their bodies#gold flakes dark skin gold cross shoulders against mine drawing some form of each other on the train i didn't hesitate#to say her eyes were beautiful over and over monks at the soapshop with titanium credit cards i loved you like i loved no other#he tied his hair up and walked us into the river he held a bullet between his lips i never held his hand he said what an honour#you own too much capital your mother thinks i'm a natural i realised i haven't told my mother i loved her in years she's always been mother#never mom i'll watch you watch seaweeds this is terminal akrasia i'll feel your fingers smear perfume on my lips your girlfriend grins#bite into the straw take the shot hold my hand get it all wrong draw in the sand kiss him right stab through leather shower in chlorine#you're the determinable vicissitude is all yours we won the Game AND the Battle AND the War i'm proud of you like crazy we feed each other#saffron cliffside lovers well-fallen brothers fat cats blue windows southwest sun ALife SynBio design aXAA grow us a city in silico#we've grown to the ends of glee fire-jumper ocean-eater sure-footed lists on lists hands on eyelids не устану искать тебя#...anyway ive put my face on this blog b4 but hiii again#feel free to rb btw the rants r not personal
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seriousturd · 4 months ago
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Another doodle ft. a very sickly Nick
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Bonus mini doodle under the cut lol
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shalom-iamcominghome · 6 months ago
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Since you’re really getting into the world of Jewish music, have you heard of chilik frank ? He’s a chossid who does ashkenaz/Klezmer. My absolute fav song from him is a song called ‘Rabi meir omer’ !
Ughh one thing I love about kletzmer is the emphasis on clarinet so many songs have. It makes me want to pick mine back up and play this by ear...
As well, this is how it feels to play clarinet:
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#ask#jumblr#jewish music#when i was first learning clarinet in school we all had a music book and i always gravitated toward playing the jewish or kletzmer-ish song#i didn't know it was kletzmer or jewish but i knew i absolutely LOVED playing that style of music#i have ALWAYS adored how that music style has sounded. deep in my heart i knew i belonged in a kletzmer band#anon thank you <3#i SERIOUSLY need to get my claronet out but i don't know how i'd explain to my family why i'd be playing obviously 'foreign' music#i haven't picked up my clarinet in years........#do reeds expire ....#i love learning songs by playing them by ear. i learned a lot of songs through this and even made claronet parts to songs that don't have i#i'd walk around during marching band practice with my earbud in playing parts over and over. i bet it was annoying to my peers LMAO#my toxic trait was listening to music while marching and playing music (not during comps obviously just during band camp)#it was so bad i listened to one song eight hours a day (more like ten) every day for two weeks#even AFTER band camp i would replay it on my walk to my ex's house. and it was a twenth minute walk or so. it was BAD.#UMMM. apparently reeds DO expire. funny. some of my reeds i used for half a year or more#and these websites are saying to replace them biweekly? no way. no fucking way#i don't care. i'll let my reeds grow a culture of their own if they play well (slight hyperbole)#vandorens are GREAT but they're pricy. i am NOT shelling out my life savings for three reeds
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transmechanicus · 8 months ago
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I get a little indignant when i look up the lyrics for a song that has very straightforward and understandable meaning to anyone who has experienced a modicum of emotional pain in their life and there are websites like "Song Lyrics Explained" like ohhh some people have never had their heart broken I see.
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arttsuka · 1 month ago
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hey ho I just noticed that amongst many of your posts you have some pretty nasty things to say about yourself! As a concerned follower I am here to tell you that does you no good whatsoever, and have expierenced where it can lead you to! (Even when said in jest)
As an outside observer I have determined that exactly 0 of your negative statements are true, so don't believe the lies you tell yourself! Change statements like "my art sucks" to "my art is pretty neat!" (Because it is) "....just kill me" to ".... just give me shrimp" (or fav food/object) "I feel awful and lonely" to " I see the sun rise and its beautiful, I feel nice." And "I have more friends than i realise" ( notice something beautiful or do things you like and appreciate them, you'll start to feel better I promise!
Take a moment to slow down and just breathe and observe all the good things around you (go outside if you have to)
Heres a book that talks about changing your inner monologue for the better, "What to say when you talk to yourself" by Shad Helmstetter its definitely worth a read
I love you and sending a crushing bear hug to you! 🫂🫂💙💙💙
Unfortunately yes I have many bad things to say about myself (I am my biggest hater).
I've been around some pretty toxic people in the past (and present, most of them are my relatives, yikes) and I guess it's just easier to say negative things about me rather than hear them say things (behind my back).
I try to do better but when you don't fit into society the way other people do, it's kinda disheartening, makes me wanna give up.
Sometimes I wish I was like everyone else honestly, or have some confidence.
I'll definitely try to check out that book, thanks for the recommendation :)
Many hugs to you too anon 🫂🫂
#I'll say my art is pretty neat when that becomes true#honestly I don't always fit society's 'geed person' archetype so I guess that has settled deep in my bones#I have very low empathy(?) I rarely feel 'bad' for other people. sure I don't want anything bad to happen but I don't start crying when I#hear that someone I don't know died. or someone I know. I don't really cry actually. once or twice per 3 months#I have difficulties with expressing my emotions (and I feel like I don't feel fully. not like other people do)#I'm trying to take moments to appreciate life(?) but even life doesn't always feel real. like a chore you have to power through. most days#surprisingly I go outside almost every day for around an hour to walk. the city I live now has a harbor and I love the sea#there are too many people there tho... I don't like people. they're loud and don't pay attention to their surroundings#the times I've been almost ran over by bikes or cars is surreal#not art#text#ask#anonymous#I didn't mean to make you concerned about me. don't be. there really isn't anything you can do#one of my other negative traits is that I'm extremely stubborn. almost nothing can change my opinion about something#I try to do better but that unfortunately isn't always enough#society has failed me on many levels and it's hard to see the 'bright side' when a literal war is happening#and people you know will hate you for who you are#sometimes I use words like 'disheartening' and I can't remember if the translation I have in mind is for the actual word or something else#I don't mean to sound so depressing I just feel like I might actually jave depression. or autism. or just something wrong
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neriyon · 1 month ago
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Small test run of Infinity Nikki done! Mostly just finished the tutorial (and kicked Momo around), but it so far it seems pretty fun~
Also photo mode is so nice ♥
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