#i'll try not to take too long to write them
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I don't wanna sit here and act like I'm a professional or anything, because I'm not, but as someone who has had to do a lot of work to overcome trauma and reconfigure my brain more or less from the ground up, there's a lot I have to say about Solas's mental state
We know that Solas was essentially used and abused by Mythal for millennia. Even if he wasn't under a geas, he was twisted from his purpose by being made to fight, and then created the Wolf's Fang which was used to make the Titans tranquil and started the Blights. He made those choices himself, but it's important to understand that no choice is ever made in a vacuum. She took advantage of his vulnerability when he was given a body after however long as a spirit semi-existing peacefully in the Fade, and moulded him into a weapon.
He is broken, because Mythal broke him. I'm not incapable of seeing why she did what she did because like I said, no one makes choices in a vacuum and I could write about her for a long time too (in a similar way to how I have had to do myself in my own life in understanding why others abused me). He was so traumatised by everything that happened and he was trauma bonded to Mythal pretty much from the minute he gained a body. Trauma bonds are not about love. He definitely interpreted it that way, as most people do, but that's the weapon abusers use to keep the victim under their control. Abuse abuse abuse show a scrap of love and then abuse some more. If I just take it, I'll get the love/attention I need. I will earn it, because love is suffering, and I have to suffer to earn getting my basic needs met from my family/friends. Mythal, as his creator, was the one who he would've attached to in a similar way to spirit Cole/human Cole.
Trauma bonds are pathological. Mythal made him believe that if he did as she asked, and kept supporting her, then eventually he would gain her favour and they would be able to free all the elves, and he'd be able to live according to his true nature, which is one where he doesn't have to fight. (Remember his personal quest in DAI? He actually kills the rebel mages for corrupting his friend--another Wisdom spirit--into Pride.) In reality, she was just using him. She always kept the bone just out of reach for her lapdog. The line from Rook where they say (paraphrasing here) 'you know, I was actually excited about getting your approval... That's how you do it, isn't it? Keeping giving little scraps of approval to keep someone loyal, and then you turn around and betray them' is so telling too.
Where--or from whom--do you think he learned to do this?
It literally reeks of a pathological trauma bond and honestly, with how isolated, 'grim and fatalistic' Solas is, it is not a surprise that he's so broken.
Solas, essentially, is little more than a lap-dog to Mythal. He followed her like a lost puppy, because especially in his early days, that's kind of what he was. You have to remember that most of the insight we get about Mythal is from Solas's perspective, and he is not a reliable person when it comes to her after so long being repeatedly terrorised and twisted and manipulated. There are several instances where he describes being betrayed by her, and mentions some of the things she did, but he never quite holds her fully accountable and ends up directing his rage elsewhere. (The parallel between Mythal/Solas and the rebel mages/Wisdom is important here.)
This awesome post by @mythalism only reinforces this. He is so messed up in that scene, he is broken, he is holding the Wolf's Fang up, trying to give it to her because it symbolises the burden he has carried for thousands of years trying to avenge her death. He never wanted the Fang, like he never wanted a body. Mythal just stands over him, fully aware of what she did to him, and only getting him to stop because Rook petitioned her successfully, and the reunion with the more benevolent Mythal within Morrigan tempered her anger. She was a goddess, with the unequal power dynamic, right to the end.
As a side note, on the potential romance element between Mythal and Solas, I read an excellent breakdown of it on Reddit a while ago about how out of character it would've been for Solas to keep something like that from a romanced Lavellan, especially in Trespasser when he comes clean about his plan/past. I can't find it now because it was pre-Veilguard release, but it made a lot of sense to me. Solas and Lavellan never have a love scene in DAI because Solas didn't want to 'lay with them under false pretences'. Lying about who you are when sleeping with someone is nonconsensual. You can't consent to sleeping with someone if you don't know their true identity, and someone who knowingly lies about who they are to get into your pants is a sexual predator. For someone who led a slave rebellion (no doubt many of them being sex slaves), and a former spirit of Wisdom, Solas would've been well aware of this. In the unsent letter from Solas to Lavellan he says he came so close to breaking and desperately wanted to stay with them as Solas, with the implication being that that is where he planned to sleep with them once he'd come clean. But because he stops, because he's still unable to forgive himself or release himself from his trauma bond with Mythal, he breaks away, and they never have sex.
Bottom line: Solas would've been honest about it. Especially that. As the Inquisitor says, he can't lie about his heart.
And it's why the Solas/Lavellan romance is so powerful because quote, 'you change everything'. Solas thought he knew what love was, that love was loyalty, devotion, worship, etc. It's not just his plans or worldview that Lavellan changes. Lavellan sees him for who he is, without the mantle of Dread Wolf, and because of that he's able to express his true nature to her, even if he's not being totally honest in Inquisition. Lavellan got much closer to the real him than most, as he says, and changed his understanding of love completely. Unfortunately, he has unfinished business, an unresolved trauma bond, and his crushing sense of duty to the past is what keeps him from taking that final step towards letting go of it entirely. Trick also says Solas doesn't think he deserves love, which tbh is kind of a hallmark trait of people who have survived abuse.
And honestly? Call me a simp but I think he really was trying to get the Inquisitor to stop him. He saw himself being unable to let go because he was so broken and burdened by his guilt, and knew he couldn't save himself--was too proud to admit that he couldn't, because how pathetic does it make him look? And how could he stop now without rendering all the damage he'd wrought pointless? Yet here was someone who had changed him right down to his core, who understood him in a way few people ever had, whom he trusted, whom he loved in a way he hadn't loved anyone else before. It took him 'centuries' to build up rapport with the members of his rebellion. The man doesn't not know how to form attachments without trauma, and suddenly he forms a strong one with someone who loves him completely and without condition. It's a jarring change.
Lavellan says that maybe they're being prideful themselves, refusing to see their own folly. But I think in admitting that they might be wrong, that it might be wishful thinking borne from misguided love to a truly terrible person, they've rendered the point moot. It shows self-awareness, which isn't folly.
If anyone can make Solas understand true love, it's Lavellan. Lavellan loved him when he was being his true self. Lavellan loved him after his betrayal was revealed. Lavellan loved him when his guilty conscience and terrible actions almost destroyed the world. Lavellan loved him because they knew the real him, and knew that his heart and spirit were broken, and knew that their love would endure, that their love would heal him.
And that's exactly where they end up. Healing the past, soothing the Blight, and loving one another completely.
#i'll shut up about solas one day but that day is not today#solas#lavellan#solavellan#mythal#dragon age spoilers#datv#datv spoilers#dragon age
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Tutorial: Renumbering Shoes/Necklaces Meshes to avoid conflicts and explosions
First of all, a huge thanks to people at MTS and to @virtual-hugs who taught me how to do it at the Creators Cave!
Also sorry for taking so long to write this! It's because I kinda struggle to write in english 😬
What will you need:
S3PE
Mesh Toolkit
Your shoe/necklace/accessory package ready, so you won't need to go back to TSRW to tweak something. This should be the last step on your CC creation workflow!
First, why does this happen?
Each CAS part has a vertices ID range, and when two parts with morphs have vertices containing the same ID, conflict happens and this is what make some meshes to explode. And this tends to happen when we put high poly shoes with morphed high poly necklaces because the shoes verts ID range is too low. Shoes verts ID starts at 30000, and accessories starts at 31500. In the pícture below there's the information provided by the Hint button at Mesh Toolkit with all the verts IDs, but it erroneusly says that accessories start a 0.
With all that said, we can try to renumber these parts verts to a different IDs to try to bypass that.
But let's go to the tutorial!
Again, your shoe/necklace package should be ready to do this, so you won't need to go back to your project in TSRW!
For this tutorial, I'll be using Arltos 109, converted by @rollo-rolls. You can do this tutorial with any CC high poly shoes/necklace, just please respect the creators TOU and do not upload it.
Note how there are tiny gaps showing when the shoes are worn with necklace! In this picture they quite imperceptible, but with some shoes/necklaces more distracting distortions might occur.
👠Step 1:
Open Mesh Toolkit, click on Package Tools tab, and in the Name Those Files tab open your package. Click on Add names, and then type a unique name for the CC part you're working on and save it. Here's what I named mine:
👠Step 2:
Open your package on S3PE, and select the LOD1 (or the LOD0, if you're working with some accessory that might have it) GEOM plus the four BGEOs (they're the morphs) and export them to a folder (just click on it with the right button, and select Export > To file...)
(see? this is why we added the names ^^)
👠Step 3:
Back in Mesh Toolkit, go to the GEOM Tools tab, then to [Re]Number Meshes tab. There, open your base GEOM mesh and BGEOs morphs accordingly.
In the "Number to start with" box, type the number which you want to start the verts ID. I'm usually going with 57000 for shoes, and with around 40000 for necklaces (so they won't conflict with old shoes that aren't renumbered).
Click on Renumber and Save. When asked, select the according number for the LOD you're working with (in this case is 1, but again, if you're working with LOD0, then select 0), and click in Continue.
Then the program will prompt you to save the renumbered mesh and morphs. It's good to create a new sub-folder for them to avoid any confusion.
These are the files we get. LOD1 is my base mesh, and the others are the morphs.
👠Step 4:
Go back to your package on S3PE. Right click on the GEOM mesh you exported before, then click on Replace, and select your new base mesh. Save and close your package.
👠Step 5:
Go back to Mesh Toolkit. Go to the Package Tools tab, and then to the Add Morphs to Clothing/Hair tab, and open your package.
Tick "Use GEOM morph meshes", untick "Change morph blend TGI".
Then tick the morph you will add to the package, and then in the according box (in my case,LOD1 box, but again, if you're working with a LOD0, put it in the LOD0 box) open your new morph.
Then click on "Add morph to package". A box confirming the action will pop-up.
Repeat this step with the other morphs, reminding always to tick the according morph or otherwise you might make some mistake (as adding a fit morph in the place of the fat one).
After you finished, save your package (either the current one, or save as new package).
👠Step 6:
Now test it in game! If everything was done right, you should see no distortion in the shoes and necklaces. Also check if the morphs are working as intended, because sometimes we can make mistakes!
Remember that you'll won't be able to have both the old and the new altered package since they're still the same, we just replaced the meshes and morphs.
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Do you have any athena hcs?
Uhhh
How much time do you have lol
I'll try to list the short ones so this post doesn't get too long. Due to writing about her a lot I have a lot of lore lmao
1. Athena is the eldest child (Hephaestus born shortly after her). Nobody who's spoken to her once would expect anything else honestly
2. At the time of the Odyssey she's about 4000 years old (No reason or proof I just decided) Her first 200 years give or take were spent with Triton (read: Pallas)
3. She only got assigned with Warfare as her domain after officially joining Olympus
4. Her emotional distance with her siblings is partly due to Pallas trauma, and partly due to Zeus liking to "keep her to himself" (read: isolated as the favorite). She gets along best with Hermes and Hephaestus (yes, I refuse to accept Erechtonius happened) bc the former is just as chaotic as herself and the latter shares her creativity and both don't ask for a big commitment from her (again. No Erechtonius and no arranged marriages in my plotline let me have this)
5. Dislikes being touched. Her siblings learn to accept it, Zeus does not. She doesn't try to enforce it with him. (Yes in every iteration of her that I will ever write, there will be a touch-starved to hug plotline sue me. I need therapy)
6. Never braids her hair. She used to have braids when with Pallas, but since then she has never worn her hair this way again. She also wears it quite a bit shorter than she used to back then.
7. Her grey eyes are inherited from Métis. They also glow in the dark. She has perfect night vision.
8. Perfect memory. Also she has bird's eye view versions of even her own memories (hc that one of her domains is history so that's why) It's how she found out that Zeus interfered with Pallas's death.
9. Used to have an Oceanic themed armor before joining Olympus (Métis made it for her) She allows Hephaestus to make her a new one, shedding the Ocean symbols in an effort to please Zeus.
10. Connected to her status as a virgin goddess but in contrast to Artemis, Athena dresses pretty covered up, doesn't undress even for bathing (in ancient Greece sometimes you'd keep your chiton on as a sort of bathing suit almost, but being naked was more common) (also this is not 'purity' stuff btw I just get that vibe from her, Artemis, literally go off queen you're doing great)
11. Classic but good, cocks her head like an owl like all the time. Also says "hmm" a lot (intonation may vary)
12. (Remember, my hc, you can do whatever you like) I think all the virgin goddesses are acespec/arospec in some capacity, but Athena is the cut and dry aro/ace/repulsed one. Like... It's a big fat no from her (I'm projecting hard btw)
Anyway twelve seems like a good number I hope you like them :) I picked those that aren't specific to Epic and can be applied to myth!Athena too
#epic the musical#epic athena#epic headcanon#athena goddess of wisdom#athena#greek mythology#greek gods#greek mythology headcanon#athena epic#tasha asks
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surprise | myg
this is an extra chapter of the so it goes series.
—pairing: rapper!yoongi x reader
—rating: +18
—genre: established relationship, ex fwb, angst, fluff
—warnings/tags: implied smut, lots of angst, fluff, subtle talk about aborti0n, DON’T trust my poor knowledge in contraceptive methods and use condoms!! english is not my first language btw
—words: 7.6k
a/note: this is proof that if you ask me enough, I'll finish writing my wips!! it's been a long time but I finally get to post the surprise drabble I've been planning and it makes me sososo happy to come back to this couple 😭 I missed them so much I just hope you missed them as much as I did!! BTW I was planning to post this after two other drabbles, so if you read any additional information it's because this was intended to be posted after that, but i wanted to post this so badly😭 so here it is!! hehe anyway enjoy!!
A few years ago, when you and Yoongi were beginning to be a thing and you still lived with your best friend, Nayeon, while he lived alone in his big apartment, he picked up this habit of begging you to stay the night with him every time you visited, even though he knew you couldn’t. You used to say no, trying hard to ignore the way he kissed your neck and sneaked his hands under your blouse while explaining that, if you said yes, he was willing to wake up early and drive you to your first class the next day. You'd think that after the first or maybe even the second time he tried this, the effect would wear off, but you ended up agreeing every single time.
Back then everything was so new to him, he couldn’t remember the last time he liked someone that much, he didn’t know what was happening to him and why he wanted to spend every night with you, why he couldn’t keep his hands off you. Sure you were pretty, sure you were beautiful and funny, and your lips tasted like strawberries and you looked at him like one else ever did, maybe it had something to do with that, who knew? The only thing he knew was that he felt like a teenager everytime you kissed him, or every time you ran your fingers through his hair or every time you were naked under him, or on top of him, or anywhere close to him for that matter.
It took Yoongi a few hits, ten drunk nights and way too many days to realize that you were the only thing that he needed, that the world only made sense if you were by his side.
With time, Yoongi learned to kiss slowly, to make love slowly, to take things with ease; he learned that you were going nowhere, but there were still those moments where he felt he couldn’t get enough of you; like tonight, to be exact.
You were sure that in the last four years of dating Yoongi you had made it clear enough that you were a city girl, and you were certain your boyfriend knew that. You loved the noise and the chaos—the people bumping into each other on the streets, the busy days and nights. It wasn’t something you planned to give up anytime soon; this was the perfect time in your life to embrace the city's hustle. You’d have plenty of time for a quiet life when you got older.
Yoongi liked the city too—he enjoyed the view from his apartment window and the convenience of ordering food at any hour of the night. But he also loved road trips and sleeping in the middle of nowhere in a tent, bonfires, fishing and swimming in lakes. Yoongi had always been into camping, but instead of planning a trip with his good old friend Seokjin, who didn’t mind sleeping in a tent and loved fishing, he invited you—someone who hated bugs and couldn’t stand the idea of walking more than three minutes to find a bathroom.
You were still trying to decide whether not being able to say no to Yoongi was a problem, but it was his last free week before going back on tour. When he looked at you with starry eyes and asked you to go on a trip with him, which included spending the last two days sleeping in a tent, you couldn’t say no.
It was only two days, you were sure you could endure not sleeping in a proper bed for that long if that made him happy, you made the effort of not complaining just for tonight, after all you only had tickets to go visit him on tour in exactly five weeks, you were going to miss him.
It was easy not to complain when Yoongi’s plans for your last night together were exclusively romantic; he cooked for you, built a campfire and spent the rest of the night stargazing until it was too cold to be outside, and when you were inside the tent he made sure to have hot water bags under the blankets, but they were no use when he was determined to get you naked.
Did you mention that it was still winter?
Now you were trapped in a tent with him, straddling him as he kissed you deeply and gripped your thighs, begging you to ride him against your lips. That was when you started to complain.
You felt your whole body shivering when Yoongi’s warm hands pulled your t-shirt over your head, leaving you almost naked. You hugged your torso, attempting to cover your breasts as you sat straight on top of your boyfriend, who was comfortably laying on the sleeping bag, fully clothed.
“Yoongi, I’m cold.” You whined.
“C’mon, it’s going to wear off” He tried to convince you, rubbing his palms over your shoulders to keep you warm. You shook your head, laying your head on his still clothed chest as he covered your bare back with the blanket. It was easy for him to say that when he was wearing sweatpants and a long sleeve t-shirt.
You knew that Yoongi was already missing you. He was fully aware that after tonight, he wouldn’t see you for a whole month and he wanted to make it last as long as he could, to hold you and kiss you as much as you let him. He had gotten too used to you—used to sleeping and waking up next to you, having you all to himself—but it became a problem every time he had to leave for work, it was impossible not to miss you. You still had texts, calls and FaceTime, but he was also taking into account time difference, work, and the fact that all of that wasn’t the real thing. And if you were honest, you were already missing him too.
“What if I catch a cold?” You mumbled over his shirt.
Yoongi kissed the top of your head, running his hands down your bare back and sending chills to your spine. How was he able to get you almost naked but you didn’t even get the chance to take off his t-shirt? “It’s not that cold.” He said, not willing to give up.
You raised your head to look at him, frowning “Says the person who’s still fully clothed.”
He huffed, flipping you over to leave you under him. Suddenly, warmth rushed over you as you felt his body hovering over your frame. He was quick to take off his own t-shirt, trying to make you happy, but he quickly realized that maybe you were right, it was fucking cold, but he wasn’t going to back down.
“Happy now?”
“No, it’s freezing out there!” You kept complaining “Why do we have to do it without clothes? I don’t mind clothes, I actually think that doing it while being dressed is quite hot.”
You threw your arms around his neck, bringing him closer to you. Even though you were in fact turned on from the kissing and grinding session you had a few moments ago, you still were thinking about the logistics of fucking inside the tent.
Yoongi scoffed, amused. “And I actually think that you being naked is quite hot, too.” He said, sneaking his face in the crook of your neck to trail down little kisses, nibbling the skin softly. “C’mon, baby. I won’t see you for weeks, let me make love to you.”
You tried not to roll your eyes. “You had been using that excuse the whole trip.” And you’ve fallen for it every time. His plans for this trip were very simple: fishing, camping and fucking you on every opportunity he had. It was not like you were against it, it has been a long time since you and him had time only for the two of you.
“But isn’t it true?” He gazed up, looking at you with his soft eyes, his hair falling like a curtain on his face. “I’m gonna miss you.”
You took a second to observe the tenderness of his features, to take in the softness of his voice, and for a moment there you knew why it was so hard to say no to him, you just didn’t want to say no.
You closed your eyes, scrunching your nose. “We are gonna make such a mess.” You whined, but he just chuckled, knowing he won.
“I’ll take care of it, I promise.” He said with a soft voice, reaching for your lips as he roamed his hands towards your chest. You didn’t exactly know how he was going to “take care of it”, but his hands were gentle, the kiss was slow and when he opened his mouth to let his tongue slip past your lips, you were too into it to keep protesting about it.
As you sat on the cold bathroom floor of the home you shared with Yoongi, you tried to remind yourself of two basic things that you hoped would stop the sinking feeling in your chest. First, three weeks without Yoongi never killed anyone, this was something you knew from experience, Yoongi’s job demanded him to travel all the time, you were used to it, or at least you were supposed to be. Second, you were an independent woman (right?). You have been an independent woman since you were eighteen when you moved to Seoul alone, since you started a new life in a new city on your own. You woke up at six am everyday, worked hard your whole shift, paid the bills every month and managed to keep your house in order every day of the week. Sure, you loved Yoongi, and he loved you, and you could never imagine a life without him, but you didn’t need him, you wanted him. He wasn’t an extension of you, you were your own person, but why did you feel like the world was about to end right now if he was not there?
Crying your heart out like a five year old kid, you remembered the only time you had to take a pregnancy test, and how it looked nothing like this.
Four years ago when you and Yoongi still didn’t kiss in front of your friends, when he still thought twice before holding your hand in public but still had the nerve of sneaking in your bed. That seemed like a hundred years ago, a universe away, but no, it was not too long ago when you were stubborn and kind of irresponsible for agreeing with him as he kissed your neck and ran his hands down your thighs while asking you if it was okay for him to “pull out” that night, since both of you completely forgot about condoms. You winced at the memory, but in your defense, you were too far gone to say no, take a cold shower and kiss him goodnight. You agreed only for that night, but three weeks later you were three days late and losing your mind, the only logical thing to do was to take a pregnancy test that, of course, came negative, but to this day you couldn’t shake the anxious feeling that you felt in your stomach those minutes before the negative sign appeared, and you couldn’t forget how pale Yoongi’s face turned when you told him about it.
And now you were there, one hand covering your face while the other held a pregnancy test—only this time, it was positive.
The one on your hand wasn’t the only one, no. There were two other positive tests laying on the floor in front of you, and even if you wanted to not trust the results, they couldn’t be all wrong, right? The plus sign was very clear in each one of them and you were five days late. The problem was that you were on the pill, you had been on the pill for the last couple years and this never happened to you, this wasn’t something normal or a simple mistake.
You breathed out, trying not to panic. You got up on your bare feet to look at yourself in the mirror. You were a mess, that was not a surprise at all, your face was all swollen for the amount of time you have been crying and your hair was a big nest above your head. You washed your face, attempting to remain calm and evaluating your options. You glanced at your phone resting on the sink, and an overwhelming urge to call your mother surged within you, but as you imagined how the conversation would go, you quickly realized it wouldn’t be a good idea.
Your mother was not nosy, but she could be a little dense, a bit complicated, and it was not what you needed right now. You were sure that calling her while having a mental breakdown was going to drive her crazy, and consequently, drive you crazy too. She would want to know every single detail, date, place and hour to understand the situation better, and you would have to explain something you didn’t even understand yet. You could imagine the conversation, she would try to explain every contraceptive method like you were a teenager and ask why you didn’t use a condom, because you knew she would ask, and you didn’t want to explain to her how you went on vacation with your boyfriend to have a bunch of condomless sex, the thought alone made you want to vomit.
Calling your mother was not an option, not only because talking to her on the phone was complicated enough, but because she was in a different city, which brought you to discard calling Nayeon too, who was on vacation with her boyfriend (yes, boyfriend, that sounded ridiculous to you, too.)
The last option was something you couldn't even fathom doing unless you were desperate, but you know what they say, desperate times call desperate measures, so you blew your nose, brushed your hair and called the only person in this city who would come running without asking any questions, Jungkook.
Breaking the news to the person in front of you wasn’t easy, especially when the words you needed to say were as unreal as they sounded. You didn’t look much better, you spent the next thirty minutes that Jungkook took to arrive crying, as Holly, the brown fluffy dog, looked at you like you just went mad, the worst thing was that you weren’t far from it. It was difficult to keep it together when your mind refused to look at the bright side of things, when you couldn’t call your mom and Yoongi was in another country, but when Jungkook rang your bell and entered through the door, you tried your best to smile at him and act like you weren’t in the middle of a mental breakdown.
Your act wasn’t convincing, your friend looked at you like you were about to tell him that you killed someone and you needed help to hide the body.
You would have never recur to a man other than Yoongi for this kind of situation, but you decided to trust your ten years of friendship with the man in front of you and hope that he could be of any help.
“You are what?” Said Jungkook, standing in the middle of the living room with his eyes wide open, trying to understand the meaning of your words.
There, in your pajamas and your hands on your hips, you closed your eyes shut, sighing. “Jungkook…” You said through gritted teeth.
“I’m serious.” He said, letting his backpack drop to the floor. “I crossed half the city to get here, are you not kidding me right now?”
“I’m serious, too!” You whined “I’m not kidding, I don’t know what to do.”
He slowly approached you, walking towards the couch to take a seat. He suddenly felt his blood pressure dropping, his stomach sinking and his mouth dry as if he was the one developing a human organism inside his body. “Are you sure?” He murmured. “Are you not having one of those crises you had when you were a teenager? I remember that time in college when you freaked out when you thought you were pregnant because some guy-”
“Jungkook, I’m sure.” You interrupted him, already knowing the whole story, but this time it was not just you overreacting. “My period is late and I took three tests, all positive.”
He gulped, letting the room fall silent for a few seconds as both of you contemplated what that meant. You knew he was trying his best not to freak out, so you were grateful for his reaction, at least he didn’t faint like you expected him to do, but he was still white as a sheet, trying to find a solution in his head as though you had told him he was the one who was going to be a father.
“What are we gonna do?” He said under his breath.
“What am I gonna do?” You corrected him, sitting next to him “You are supposed to help me.”
Jungkook took one hard look at you, looking terrified. “How?”
“God, I shouldn’t have called you.” You rolled your eyes.
“No, I mean, what do you want to do?” He said. “Did you tell Yoongi?”
“Of course not.” You replied, feeling your eyes getting teary, but still trying to hold back.
“Do you want to… tell him?” He continued to ask.
You sniffed “I mean, I don’t know how.” You pouted “I’m seeing him in two weeks, I don’t know if I can wait that long.”
He threw himself back against the couch, sinking in the cushions. It was like Jungkook’s life flashed before his eyes, how come he was discussing this with you right now? He still felt like you were kids, there was no way you were pregnant right now. “How did this happen?” He murmured to himself, looking at the blank wall in front of him.
“Is it necessary for me to explain it?” You cried, snuggling closer to him as you rested your head on his shoulder.
“Did you not use condoms?” He scolded you like he was your mother.
You shifted your weight uneasily, eyes darting down to your socks. “We don’t… use condoms.” You cleared your throat, the words coming out hushed and hesitant. “I’m on the pill, I don’t know what happened.”
On second thought, that wasn’t something Jungkook wanted to know. It was like finding out how his parents had sex, he squirmed at the thought, shifting in his place. “Can you not call your doctor?” He suggested, his voice laced with uncertainty.
You paused, considering it. It was probably the most logical thing Jungkook could say, but you weren’t sure if your doctor could do anything about it.
“Even if I call her and tell her what's going on, it’s not like I can get a refund.” You huffed, a dry smile tugging at your lips.
He raised an eyebrow. “Well…” he began, dragging the word out. “In some way, you could get a refund.” You blinked at him, opening your eyes wide in surprise. “I mean only if you want to!”
You were so nervous you wanted to laugh. It wasn’t like the thought didn’t cross your mind for a moment, but only when you tried to evaluate your options; if you were being honest, you couldn’t see yourself getting rid of the baby—or whatever organism had been living rent-free in your body for the past three weeks. Jungkook looked terrified that you might explode at him, especially when it seemed like you were on the verge of tears, but his question made you think, if you didn’t want to get rid of it, what was that you wanted to do?
You sank your shoulders, feeling completely lost. “That’s the problem.” You murmured “I don’t know if I want a refund.”
Jungkook stood still for a moment, his eyes softening as he watched you. His thoughts swirled, trying to grasp the weight of your words.
"Would Yoongi want a refund?" He asked, his tone lighter than before, but the sincerity in his voice was unmistakable. Despite the attempt at humor, his eyes betrayed the concern he was masking with the joke.
A shaky exhale left your lips, the weight of uncertainty pulling you down. “I don’t know…” Was the only thing you could say.
“But do you know if Yoongi wanted… kids?” He said as if that was a forbidden word. “I mean, do you want them?”
It wasn’t like you didn’t know what Yoongi wanted. You sighed, suddenly remembering all those times when the idea of a family came up in conversations, between drunken thoughts, before falling asleep, at dinner with his parents and on the ride home when he apologized on his mother’s behalf when she asked when you were going to give her grandchildren. His soft eyes, his hand on your tight and the view of the future laying in front of you like a promise. The thought warmed your heart for a moment, but the truth was that there was a difference between talking about it and actually having kids.
“We’ve talked about it…” You admitted. “But we’ve never planned it, let alone now that he’s on tour.”
Jungkook hummed, still thinking.
“But you both agreed to have kids at some point.” He affirmed, and you just nodded.
It was in that moment where you realized you were crying again, tears slowly falling down your cheeks as you stood in silence, contemplating the overwhelming weight of the situation.
“Fuck, don’t cry.” Jungkook said, rushing to wrap his arms around you, he enveloped you in a tight hug. As soon as you buried your face into his chest, something inside you gave away. You began sobbing against his hoodie, the tears flowed freely and uncontrollable, unable to hold yourself back. “C’mon, it’s okay, you’re okay. Nothing bad’s gonna happen.” His voice was soft but firm, holding you tightly. He pulled back just enough to look at you, his thumb gently wiping away a tear from your cheek, his gaze filled with nothing but concern. “You don’t need to have it all figured out right now. Let’s go step by step, okay?”
You nodded, feeling like a kid lost in the mall. “Okay, if you want to see him as soon as possible, you have to change your flight first.” He said, but you shook your head, trying not to panic.
“He’s going to ask why.” You said, your voice hoarse “What am I going to tell him?”
He kept silent, his eyes fixed on a distant point as he was trying to come up with a solution.
“Let’s not tell him.” He proposed.
“What do you mean let’s not tell him?”
“I’m leaving for tour next weekend, you should come with me and not tell him.” He kept going “Say that you missed him and you wanted to surprise him or some shit like that, and when you get him alone you talk to him about this.”
Now you were reminded that Jungkook had to leave to join Yoongi on tour in just a few days, you completely forgot about that. It was not like you couldn’t get on an airplane alone, but if your friend was going to be there you were sure it would make things easier.
You couldn’t believe it. After so many years you were there, sad and upset and still with the same idiot as a friend, willing to follow whatever plan he was going to make for you. You didn’t know if the plan actually sounded good or you were losing your mind for listening to Jungkook.
“Jungkook, Yoongi texts me all the time, he facetimes me everyday. It’s impossible to travel to another country without him noticing.”
“It’s not impossible, I’m gonna help you.” He insisted “If he texts you, you say you’re at home, if he wants to facetime you, you say you’re busy, turn off your location, it shouldn't be difficult.”
“It is difficult, what if he realizes I turned off my location?” You groaned, running your finger through your hair exasperatedly.
“You say it stopped working or something! C’mon, I thought you were smarter than me.”
You threw yourself back against the couch, crossing your arms on your chest, it was almost comical that you were considering the idea. Your friend could sense the hesitation in every move you made, he could only hope that you agreed because his mind couldn’t come up with another idea if his life depended on it.
“Jungkook, if he suspects anything…” You raised a finger, digging it on his chest.
“He won’t suspect a thing,” He affirmed confidently. “When have any of my plans ever gone wrong? Never. Trust me, by the time you get back home, you’ll have already decided to name your baby after me.”
You rolled your eyes, unable to hide your laugh and punching him in the arm playfully. The tension was still there, and you still felt an inexplicable ache in your chest that wasn’t going away anytime soon, but being there with Jungkook made you feel that this wasn’t the end of the world, nor of your life, but the beginning of it.
Jungkook's plan wasn’t the master plan he had been bragging about the whole airplane ride, but it worked. A few days later, after a few calls and arrangements to change your flight, after another three mental breakdowns and several crying sessions in the shower, you had somehow arrived in Berlin without Yoongi suspecting a thing. You had managed to dodge facetime calls and weird questions, maybe Yoongi missed you so much that he didn’t have time to question why you couldn’t wait two more weeks to see him when you arrived at the hotel and hugged in the hall, because, if he were honest, he couldn’t wait two more weeks to see you either.
Yoongi was happy with the surprise, you went to see his show that night and after arriving to his hotel room he made love to you like he hadn’t seen you in a year, kissing your neck, grabbing your waist, murmuring things in your ear, saying how much he loved you, how much he missed you. For a moment it was like nothing changed, the two of you sharing what happened these last three weeks tangled between sheets, laughing between kisses as you ignored why you were there in the first place.
“You can’t keep spending time away from me.” He said, hovering over you as he left a small kiss on your lips. “I’ll keep you in my pocket if it’s necessary.”
You sighed, knowing that you couldn’t keep this a secret for much longer, but for tonight, you’ll let it slide.
You didn’t know when you were returning home, but you promised yourself that before leaving for the next city, you would have to break the news to Yoongi, which was becoming more difficult by the second, because if you were good at something, that was procrastinating. It was absurd, a few days ago you were crying because all you wanted to do was to have your boyfriend by your side and now you couldn’t even look him in the eye without feeling like you were about to throw up, and your mind wasn’t helping at all. All those doubts invaded your head, attempting to drive you crazy, making you believe you were not ready to tell him yet.
Three days later, when you finished the last show in Berlin, Jungkook gave you a knowing look as you were leaving the arena holding Yoongi’s hand. He knew that you haven’t said a thing to Yoongi yet, he was all over you like he was your mother, asking you if you were okay, if you needed anything, when you were going to tell Yoongi, it almost made you regret telling him, but you knew he was right.
A night was all you needed, just one night to gather your thoughts and practice what you were going to say. You couldn’t keep declining glasses of wine forever, you could only hope no one noticed how weird you were acting, how sensitive you were since you stepped foot out the plane. Time was running out; you knew that when Yoongi invited you to an after-party before the whole crew left Berlin. Instead of telling him the truth, you simply said you weren’t in the mood to go, hoping that your time alone would help to gather enough courage to confess.
You weren’t trying to keep Yoongi with you, you told him a million times that he should go without you and that there was no problem with it. You hid under the blanket and hugged your body, watching him change his shirt into a black tee. He ran his finger through his hair in an attempt to tame it, looking at himself into the mirror and stealing a glance towards your reflection. He knew you too well not to notice the sad expression on your face as you scrolled through your phone, searching for a Disney movie to watch while he was out. He turned around, approaching the bed and kneeling beside you to catch your eyes.
“Are you sure you don’t want to come?” He asked once again.
“Yeah, I just need one night.” You said, which was true. You needed a few more moments to finish fighting with your own thoughts.
“But are you okay?” He continued to ask, cupping your jaw in his palm.
“Of course, why wouldn’t I be?” The words came out of your mouth with more emotion than you intended to, he couldn’t ignore it.
“I don’t know… You look like you want me to stay.”
There was a beat of silence in the room. The sweetness of his voice broke your heart into a million pieces. You couldn’t say yes and make him stay just because you were feeling down and you really had no problem with him leaving, but you didn’t have the heart to tell him no either. You were full of contradictions, wanting to be alone but wanting to be with him at the same time, something in your chest pulled, wanting him close.
“What makes you think that?” You murmured, fighting the urge to cry. God, you were too sensitive.
“Mmm… The Disney movie kinda gives you away.”
You huffled, playing with the fingers of his hands without looking at him. “I don’t want to ruin your fun… You should go, I mean it.”
He scoffed “You won’t, there’s going to be a bunch of parties until the tour ends, this one is nothing.”
“They’ll miss you…”
“You’ll miss me, too.”
“But do you want to stay, though?” You asked him a whisper.
“Of course I want to… But you have to let me choose the movie.” He warned, automatically making you giggle.
Letting Yoongi choose the movie was the worst decision you have made in the last week so far, but you felt grateful he couldn’t see you as he hugged your waist and rested his chin on your shoulder, because as the ending of Inside Out approached, you were sure you were about to cry.
When you arrived at the airport you promised yourself not to cry anymore, not in front of Yoongi at least, but your body was full of emotions you didn’t even know you could feel. It was certain that you’ve always been a sensitive person, you cried at the drop of a hat, Yoongi was familiar with that, but now it was impossible to stop it.
You’d stopped paying attention to the screen entirely; one by one, your darkest thoughts crept in, pressing heavily on your chest. The feelings you’d tried so hard to bury rose up, churning uneasily in your stomach, and when you least expected it, tears began to fall down your cheeks.
A sob escaped from your lips at the same time the main character began to cry, making your boyfriend shift in his place.
“Are you crying?” Yoongi suddenly asked, softly grabbing your shoulder to turn you around. He looked at your face, at first amused, thinking you were crying because of the movie. But his expression softened when he saw the sadness in your eyes and the damp lashes heavy with tears. You covered your face, unable to hold back, and the sobs came harder, each one swallowing the words you couldn’t say. “Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” He reached for your arms, attempting to pull them away from your face, but you turned away, burying your face in the pillow.
“Nothing,” You lied, desperate to avoid this conversation again. “I’m just… emotional, I don’t know.” Your voice cracked, hoarse, as the emotions you were trying to hide slipped through.
Yoongi was confused, but mostly worried. You had been weird since the day you arrived, he would be a fool not to notice.
He turned the light of the lamp on the nightstand, illuminating the room with a soft orange light and turned the tv off.
“Hey, look at me.” He softly said, brushing your hair with his fingers, it only made you want to cry harder. “I know something’s up, I’m not a dummy.”
You turned to him, hitting him with the most heartbreaking sight he could witness, your face soaked in tears, nose and eyes red as you pouted at him. What was so wrong to make you cry like that?
“What do you know?” Was the only thing you could say, daring to be upset at him when he hadn't done anything wrong.
He frowned at your tone. “Well, I know that you suddenly came here two weeks earlier just because. You are weird, you almost don’t eat, your suitcase is almost untouched like you’re going to leave anytime soon, you look… sad? I don’t know, baby, you tell me.”
You kept silent for a second, wiping the tears with the sleeve of your t-shirt. Uncomfortable, you sat in the bed, taking a deep breath as your mind completely blanked. You didn’t realize yet, but there was no way to get out of this one.
Contrary to popular belief, your boyfriend was kind of a dummy. You confirmed it when he decided to say the following words.
“Is it because of Lily?” He said, making you dart your eyes at him. “You don’t like her being here?
You couldn’t blame Yoongi for not understanding why you were crying, but the suggestion that you were jealous of one of his coworkers made you want to punch him. Lily was one of the new producers at Yoongi’s label, and a few months ago, Yoongi had noticed that you were starting to feel uneasy about the amount of time she was spending with him, which led him to realize that you were beginning to feel unexpectedly jealous of her. Yes, that was a whole deal back then, but it was water under the bridge now; the fact that she was touring with him and the boys didn’t faze you. The idea that he thought you were crying because of her was ridiculous.
“Yoongi, are you kidding me?”
“No, I’m not.” He defended himself. “The last time I saw you we were fine, but now you’re here crying and I don’t have a clue what I did wrong.”
Suddenly, you felt your heart sink. He hadn’t done anything wrong; it was you who was an emotional wreck, struggling to keep your feelings in check. A wave of guilt washed over you for the mess you’d just created, convinced there must have been ways to prevent all this conflict. But now, all you could do was sit there, tangled in the aftermath of your own emotions.
You sighed, defeated. “You didn’t do anything wrong.” You said “And it’s not about Lily, I couldn’t care less about that… It’s just that- … Yoongi…”
“Baby…” He said in the same tone as you, “What is it?”
As Yoongi’s gentle question hung in the air, you felt a knot tighten in your chest. The truth sat heavy on your tongue, you glanced away, fidgeting with the edge of your sleeve, buying time as your thoughts spiraled. “Yoongi, my period is late.” You confessed, observing Yoongi’s eyes go wide, his brows lifting in surprise as he tried to understand what he just heard. “It’s been a week now, I don’t know what happened. I tried to wait, but I had to take a test”
“A test?” he asked, voice low, surprise flickering in his eyes.
“A pregnancy test, Yoongi.” You said, trying not to roll your eyes. “I took three damn tests.”
“And what-... what happened?” He asked, his voice unsteady, eyes fixed on yours.
The room felt suddenly smaller, the air thick with unspoken fears and questions. A quiet stillness settled between you both, there was a weight to the silence, stretching out the seconds as you waited for whatever words would come next.
“I mean, guess what happened,” you whispered. Before you could finish the sentence, you got up and reached for the zipper on your suitcase pocket. Your hand closed around the large object, and you felt his eyes on the back of your neck, following you as you moved around the hotel room. Returning to the bed, you sat down and handed him the pregnancy test.
Yoongi didn’t know anything about pregnancy tests—he’d never needed to. He’d always been careful, using protection with every girl he’d been with, including you, until things had started to get serious. So no, he wasn’t familiar with the variety of pregnancy tests out there. But now, here he was, staring at a white stick with a tiny screen, showing a clear positive sign, which could only mean one thing.
Yoongi’s hands trembled slightly as he held the pregnancy test, his gaze locked onto the tiny screen, staring at it for a moment, speechless. His heartbeat thundered in his ears, loud enough that he thought you might hear it. Now everything made sense, how you said you were nauseous in the morning, each time you refused to drink wine, how you looked like you were about to cry when you saw a stroller with twins this afternoon at the park. How could he not notice?
You pressed your lips together, feeling the familiar sting of tears welling up once more. A small, shaky hiccup escaped your lips, breaking the silence and snapping him out of his daze. “No, no, no,” He murmured urgently, setting the test aside and pulling you close, lifting you effortlessly onto his lap. His arms wrapped around your waist as you buried your face in your hands, trying to hold back the tears. “Hey, there’s no reason to cry,” He whispered, gently guiding your face up, his fingers lifting your chin as he coaxed your hands away. “C’mon, look at me.” His voice was soft, reassuring, his gaze full of warmth and understanding.
“I don’t know how it happened.” You blurted out, your voice shaking with uncertainty.
“That doesn’t matter now, why didn’t you tell me?” He asked, you could tell he was trying to remain calm by the soft tone of his voice, but his face had gone as white as paper, like he’d just seen a ghost.
“I arranged the flight to see you as soon as possible, but... I was scared. I didn’t know what to say. I still don’t,” you admitted, your words barely a whisper.
“Baby, you don’t have to be scared, okay? You can tell me anything.” He assured you, his hand gently squeezing yours. But the uneasy feeling in your stomach refused to go away.
“I know, but… we haven’t planned for this,” you murmured, glancing down. “It just… came out of nowhere.”
“Well, it didn’t exactly come out of nowhere. These things can happen,” he said gently, a faint smile tugging at his lips. You groaned, burying your face in his chest.
“But it wasn’t supposed to happen,” you whined, your voice muffled against him. “I didn’t expect this at all. I was drowning in work when I found out. I’m stressed, I’m lost, I don’t know what to do… and I miss my mom.” The words tumbled out in a frantic ramble, and you were so caught up in your thoughts that you didn’t even notice the soft laugh he let slip.
“You miss your mom?” he asked softly, careful not to upset you further.
“Yes!” you cried, voice cracking. “I feel like a kid lost in the supermarket.”
He shook his head gently and brushed away your tears with his thumbs, pulling you closer. “Baby…” he began, his tone soothing.
“Yoongi…” you whispered, lifting your head to meet his gaze. His expression was still worried, but the warmth in his eyes was reassuring.
“You’re right, we didn’t plan this. But we’ve talked about it before, and you have options. Whatever you choose, I’ll be right here beside you, no matter what. You know that, don’t you?” He searched your eyes for confirmation, and you nodded, feeling the ache in your chest begin to ease.
As his words sank in, a new wave of emotions stirred inside you. The weight of worry and loneliness began to ease, replaced by a warmth that softened the ache in your chest.
“But… what do you think?” you asked softly. You knew that whatever you decided would ultimately be your choice only, but you needed to know what was going on in his mind.
He sighed, a hint of hesitation in his expression. “I mean… we’re not sixteen, baby. We’re adults, we’re about to buy a house together, and we love each other.”
“Well, those are just facts,” you replied, searching his face. “What I mean is… do you want this, now?”
It was hard for Yoongi to believe you were really asking this. There you were, sitting on his lap with swollen eyes and a red nose from crying, asking him if he wanted to start a family with you—as if that hadn’t been his dream all along. Of course he felt like the life he had been living was going to completely change from now on. It was terrifying, but he couldn’t help but feel excited at the same time.
“I've always wanted it, are you serious?” He laughed, the sound light but filled with disbelief. “And I only want it with you, haven’t I made it clear enough?”
Those were the main differences between the two of you: while he was calm, always taking a moment to think before acting, you were emotional and, more often than not, let your feelings take control of your actions. It was only in that moment that you realized how irrational you’d been. There wasn’t a world where Yoongi didn’t want this, and there certainly wasn’t a world where you didn’t want it either.
“I want it, too,” you whispered, your voice trembling as you fought back tears.
“Then why are you crying, huh?” he asked gently, squeezing your face in an attempt to lighten the mood.
“Because...” you said, struggling to catch your breath. “Maybe you didn’t think it was the right time... You’re on tour right now.”
He frowned, his expression softening with concern. “I won’t be on tour forever...”
“I know, but... we’re not married. What would your parents think?”
He let out a laugh, clearly unable to believe that was a real concern of yours. “You’re not seriously thinking about my parents right now, are you?”
“How could I not?” you said, raising your eyebrows. “What if they force us to marry? God, I don’t want to be one of those couples who only marry because the girl is suddenly pregnant!”
He laughed even harder, shaking his head. “Oh my god, baby, no one’s forcing us to do anything!” He grinned, clearly finding your worry amusing. “If we ever get married, it won’t be because anyone pressured me. Trust me.” He paused, happy to see that the worried expression abandoned your face. “Besides, my parents love you, you have no idea how happy they’ll be once they know. Married or not.”
“Yoongi, it can’t be that simple.”
“But it is.”
You sighed, feeling like all the mess you’d made was for nothing—and thank God it was. You’d been so caught up in your own despair that you hadn’t realized everything in your life was falling into place for this to happen. Yoongi was right. You were about to move into a bigger home, you had your job, Yoongi had his, and you loved each other. You've always wanted it, this was the perfect moment for this to happen. Why had you been so worried?
“You’re right, it is.” You finally admitted, letting your body rest against him.
Yoongi laughed, gently grabbing you by your hips and laying you on the bed, kissing you softly. “You don’t have to worry, baby, not with me.”
“I know.” You breathed out, feeling like a weight was lifted off your shoulders. “But I am-… I’m so scared. How am I gonna have a baby? It sounds crazy.”
“Of course it does, it is.” He said “I’m terrified, too, but we’re together, right? Nothing bad can happen if we have each other.”
You nodded, feeling your chest unclench. “I guess you're right,” you whispered, your voice thick with emotion. “I just... needed to hear you say it.”
Yoongi smiled, leaning down to steal another kiss from you, this time deeper, longer. “I love you, baby, don’t you know that?”
You brushed your nose against his, nodding. “I love you, too, bubba.”
“C’mon, baby, stop crying.” He said, making you laugh.
#fic: so it goes#yoongi x reader#yoongi fanfiction#yoongi fanfic#bts x reader#bts smut#min yoongi fanfic#min yoongi x oc#yoongi fic recs#yoongi imagine#yoongi fluff#yoongi smut#yoongi fic#bts masterpost#bts fic rec#yoongi bts#bts one shot
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Can you rank the sdv bachelors/bachelorettes on who would adjust the best/worst to farm life? I'm curious on your opinion :))
Sure thing, let's do a ranking on our marriage candidates 😃 Thanks for the ask, dear anon! 🫰💕
Also, I think it's worth saying that I think all candidates will adjust well to their new life on the farm. This is where I described and judged candidates when they first moved onto the farm, from day one. This is just my opinion, so if you think differently, feel free to write about it here in replies!
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SDV bachelors:
Shane gets a confident 8.5/10. After all, he didn't get the nickname "chicken man" for nothing, as he takes excellent care of hens on his aunt's ranch. So much so that he's bred his own breed of blue chickens! Plus, I'm sure Shane has helped Marnie take care of other animals while in the barn, and knows a fair bit about growing crops (at least his favourite hot peppers). So he will adapt almost instantly!
I'll probably get some hate for this, but I'll give Elliott a 1/10. With all due respect to our gallant writer, he literally has a quote where he says he "won't water the plant with salt water this time." ...Who would ever think of watering a freshwater plant with salt water, even without a background in gardening? So it's going to take Elliott a long time to adjust to life on a farm, especially if it's a Beach Farm ("Don't water the tomatoes with seawater!").
Normally Sam's mother, as she herself claimed, didn't make him and Vincent do house work, and there's no garden or hint of anyone in the family taking care of the houseplants (most likely Jodi doing all the work). So Sammy jumps from the life of a carefree musician to one full of farm chores, at least partially. In fact, he doesn't mind giving it a try, just doesn't know where to start ("Honey, help me"). 3/10, he's a little confused, but he got the spirit.
Being constantly busy working with patients, despite the small size of the town, and a bunch of other things to do in his clinic, certainly doesn't leave Harvey enough free time to do much gardening. But at least there's some time to read books, and the library just happens to have a couple of interesting ones about farming. I think it will at least give him the opportunity to grow tomatoes in a pot (albeit decorative ones). It's going to be a lot harder with farming, but Harvey even likes it. Still, 3.5/10, he's trying.
Similar situation with Sam, Sebastian will jump from a life of freelance programming work to the farm work. Of course Farmer won't force Sebby to work for them, after all they love him for who he is, not as free labour. But emo himself feels he should help his spouse with their work somehow. He's so-so at growing crops, but taking care of the chickens and goats is much better. 4/10, the black hens are his favourite, btw.
Oh, Alex will fit into farm life quite nicely. The athlete may have difficulty tending crops, watering potatoes and garlic with too much water, but in terms of physical tasks he does just fine. Drag heavy bags of seed/hay? Heck yeah! Load heavy pumpkins into the shipping bin for sale? Easy, he'll do it with one hand! It's like a workout for him. 6.5/10, go Alex!
SDV bachelorettes:
Penny may not have had the opportunity to grow melons or have a small garden near her house (well, trailer in this case), she was constantly reading books about foraging and farming, overflowing with dreams of having her own green place. Soon her dream came true, and all the theory they read was not wasted. Of course, the young teacher will definitely have difficulties, as this is not a small garden but a huge farm, but she will adapt quite well. 7/10, very nice.
4.5/10 for Maru. Actually, she's been a great helper on the farm from the beginning, only her area of expertise was different. Maru will easily fix any broken oil maker or calculate the proportions of minerals for fertiliser, but when asked to take care of the vegetable garden, the young inventor will definitely fall into a stupor. Still, I'm sure she will get used to it, because Maru is a genius, and if she can create an intelligent robot, she can handle growing strawberries as well.
I was going to give Haley the same number of points as Elliott, but I thought her trying to learn how to interact with cows and my idea that she wanted to learn about growing sunflowers deserved another point. So let it be 2/10. Yes, very low, but Haley used to be squeamish of any dirt and smells, so farm life, which is just full of dirt and smells (especially from the barn) will be a bit difficult for a girl.
In general, Leah's knowledge is closer to foraging than to farming, but the talented artist is definitely not afraid of hard work, and has a basic knowledge of growing crops. She definitely offered her then (future) spouse help on the farm several times. Yes, it was flirting, but Leah was actually willing to help carry seeds and water the plants, even had something to share about growing mushrooms on stumps. 7.5/10, she's a great fit.
On the one hand, Abigail has some experience in farming, as Pierre definitely asked her for help in his small vegetable garden behind the shop. On the other hand, the purple-haired girl didn't really show much interest in all this and she seemed to lack patience with plants and flowers before. It's different now, but Abby thought at times that her father and mother's chatter about plants was for a reason after all. 4/10, not too great, but not all bad either.
Emily takes care of the flowers in the house, so some knowledge she has. She loves nature and being outside, that's undeniable. Farming skills? Well... yes and no. Emily is a hard-working bee, but almost all of her time has been taken up at the Saloon, cleaning the house, and a passion for tailoring, so she doesn't have much experience. Still, it's there, and I'd give it a 5/10, but more because of the fact that Emily definitely takes good care of the animals ("My friends")
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So, from best to worst (SDV bachelors):
№1: Shane; №2: Alex; №3: Sebastian; №4: Sam; №5: Harvey; №6: Elliott.
From best to worst (sdv bachelorettes):
№1: Leah; №: Penny; №3: Emily; №4: Maru; №5: Abigail; №6: Haley.
#stardew valley#sdv#sdv shane#sdv sebastian#sdv harvey#sdv sam#sdv alex#sdv elliott#sdv abigail#sdv haley#sdv emily#sdv maru#sdv penny#sdv leah#sdv headcanons#thanks for the ask!
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╰┈➤ the pumpkin reaper
epilogue
previous parts:
1 2 3
in which you and reid are visiting your brother in hospital after he tried to commit a suicide
tw: mention of a suicide attempt
contents: spender reidxfem!bau!reader, it's an epilogue, please check the previous parts if you missed them!
words: 3.1k
You couldn’t believe those words came out of your mouth, but they did. And what’s more, they were sincere.
It was late in the evening when you were heading back to the office in Quantico. No case ever ended with just catching the unsub – after that came the long hours of report writing and paperwork. After everything you’d been through, the team almost forbade you from taking on that task. Instead, they insisted that you go straight home and get some proper rest.
You rolled your eyes and nodded, like a child whose mother insists they zip up their jacket. Hotch was nowhere to be seen, Morgan was listening to music with his eyes closed, Emily and JJ were absorbed in their conversation, and Rossi… well, Rossi was doing whatever it is Rossi does. So, you reached for the case files and tucked yourself away in a quiet corner of the jet. You wanted to go over everything again, even though you knew that as soon as you saw Logan's photo, all the unpleasant memories would come rushing back with relentless force.
But before you could open the folder to the first page, someone simply took it from your hands. You looked up to see none other than Reid—blue shirt, sleeves rolled halfway up, a look of perpetual sleeplessness, his usual worry, and… joy. Small, but noticeable.
You, too, were almost disturbingly happy. Escaping death filled you with a mood akin to the high after smoking two joints back-to-back. Of course, it would only last for a brief moment; by tomorrow, you’d likely be tossing and turning in bed, plagued by nightmares. A familiar pattern.
"I don’t even want to see you trying to work right now," Spencer said, taking a seat next to you and placing the folder beside him, just out of your reach. Or at least far enough that you’d have to put in some serious effort to grab it—and your sore ribs had no intention of letting you do that.
"Then what do you suggest I do?" you asked, rolling your eyes. "I don't want to sleep."
"Kafka on the Shore?" he suggested.
"I've already read it. By the way, what was the deal with the soldiers and the hut in the woods at the very end?"
"Well, that's an element that leaves a lot of room for personal interpretation."
"Thanks for the explanation, that told me a lot," you chuckled. You pulled your knees to your chest, trying to get more comfortable in your spot, but the movement triggered a wave of pain. You hissed.
“They should have kept you in the hospital for at least one night,” Reid said, suddenly straightening up. “Do you need anything? There might be some ice around… or I could just leave, and you could lie down…”
“No. You’re staying,” you decided firmly. He raised an eyebrow at your abrupt response. You quickly followed up with an explanation. “Well, I’ve finished reading my book, and you took my files. So now you’re responsible for my potential boredom. It’s your duty to entertain me.”
“Yeah” he agreed with a smirk “It’s my duty”
"So, how do you plan to do that? Are you going to dance? Sing? Juggle?"
"I can't dance or sing, and I don't have anything to juggle. Is it enough if we just talk? Or is that too common of an entertainment for you?"
You pretended to think for a moment.
"Fine, I guess."
"Then what are you planning to do when you get back?"
"Visit Jeremy."
"Oh, right, sorry…”
"Come on," you interrupted, waving your hand. A moment of silence followed as you hesitated before speaking again. However, you remembered that you had decided to stop staying silent about your worries and problems, at least in his presence. "It's just... it really stresses me out. I don't know how I should talk to him, I'm afraid I'll panic when I see him..."
Spencer cleared his throat before answering.
“That... can really be tough,” he said, not bothering to lie or reassure you that everything would go perfectly. “But hey, remember that he’s probably looking forward to seeing his big sister. Even if you start talking about something you think is silly, he’ll be happy just to have you there.”
He made you smile, though the corners of your eyes began to gently dampen. You wiped them discreetly, not wanting to burst into tears on the jet.
"I hope you're right. And I hope he doesn't hate me for not being there for him..."
You stopped, feeling him take your hand. You realized you had been clenching it into a fist for quite some time.
"I don't know Jeremy, so I can only guess how he'll react. But I'm sure of one thing—he definitely doesn't hate you."
For a long time, you simply stared at your hand in his warm grip. Your fingers relaxed, releasing the tension that had been between them, becoming limp yet yearning for the touch.
"Spencer," you said suddenly, taking a deep breath. "I don't know if I can ask you this... but... you've been there for me this whole time and... okay, I’ll understand if you say no, but... would you maybe... want to visit him with me? I don't know if I can do it alone."
You waited for his response, your heart beating faster with each passing moment. Maybe it was too much? Maybe you shouldn’t be asking him for something like this; maybe it crossed the line of your acquaintance? Just a year ago... no, even a week ago, you never would have imagined you’d be begging anyone for something like this. You would have forced yourself to do it alone, ignoring your fear.
He simply smiled.
"Of course, you can ask me to do that. And I'm glad I'll be able to accompany you."
*
The sound of quickly pressed keys echoed as you gave the hospital receptionist your brother’s last name.
The stark whiteness of the place and the blinding, intense light felt like a scene straight out of a horror movie. The thought of seeing Jeremy soon made you tremble. You had so many questions for him, including why he even tried to take his own life, but you knew you couldn’t ask them just yet. He didn’t need an interrogation to satisfy your curiosity; he needed support.
You were so overwhelmed at the thought of seeing him that you shifted impatiently from foot to foot. You felt stressed but also excited. After all, he was your little brother, and you missed him. Standing beside you, Reid smiled slightly, noticing your behavior. If you were hurting him by squeezing his hand as tightly as you could, he didn’t let it show.
"Who are you to the patient?" the receptionist asked.
"His sister."
"And you?" she turned to Spencer.
"A frie—" he began, probably intending to say friend.
"Fiancé," you interrupted, quickly offering a word that began with the same letter. You worried that if the woman found out he wasn’t connected to you or Jeremy, she might ask him to stay in the waiting room. You didn’t expect him to go into Jeremy's room with you, but you wanted the reassurance that he’d be right outside, not on the other side of the hospital.
Reid first looked at you like you were crazy. You tried to silently signal him to join in on your desperate act. Luckily, he caught on incredibly fast.
"That's right, fiancé. Basically, husband. We're getting married... tomorrow," he improvised, nodding with such conviction that he almost seemed to believe it himself. "Well, actually, not tomorrow, but the day after, because tomorrow is Sunday, and we’re Catholic. In our religion,
“Darling,” you gritted through your teeth, seeing the receptionist’s confused expression.
“In any case, I’m very close to the patient,” he emphasized.
If he said anything more, you would’ve nudged him with your elbow.
“Well… in that case… the patient is in room number fourteen. It’s that way…” She pointed in the right direction. You thanked her with an overly wide smile. “And… congratulations.”
“God bless you,” Reid said as he waved goodbye.
You quickly turned around, so she wouldn’t see your burst of laughter. As soon as you were out of the receptionist's sight, you hit him on the back so hard that a woman with a cast on her arm almost dropped her coffee. He laughed, and you awkwardly tried to hide how much the whole situation amused you as well.
“If I had let you say one more word, she wouldn’t have let either of us in,” you complained. “She would’ve thought we were freaks. Religious freaks. Or maybe point us to the psychiatric ward.”
“Hey, I’m not the best actor. You should know that,”
“I didn’t know. I’ll remember for next time, though I’m not sure if there will ever be another situation where you’ll need to pretend to be my husband.”
"Fiancé," he corrected. "You decided that yourself."
"Basically a husband. You decided that yourself."
You didn’t say anything more, only grabbed the edge of his coat sleeve to slow his pace. You were standing outside room 14, right in front of the door. You didn’t even peek inside; you weren’t ready to see Jeremy just yet.
“I need one more minute,” you whispered.
“Take all the time you need,” he replied gently.
The playful mood that had accompanied you both was gone. Not knowing what to do with your hands, you stood on tiptoe and began adjusting his poorly tied scarf.
“Sorry,” you muttered under your breath. “It’s been bothering me since I saw you.”
"I'll wait for you here, okay?" he asked quietly. Because you were so close to him, he barely had to raise his voice at all. "Jeremy doesn’t know me, I don’t want to just show up unannounced..."
“Are you coming in or what?”
You turned around, startled, to see none other than Jeremy. Lying on the hospital bed, poking at a container of chocolate pudding with a spoon, and most importantly, awake.
At first, you were surprised, but soon emotion took control of your body, and you ran to him as if he were about to disappear.
"Oh my God, I can finally see you..." His shirt, which you hugged tightly, muffled your words.
"The pudding spilled on your jacket."
"I don't care."
He chuckled into your hair, holding you tighter. You stayed like that for a moment, desperately holding back tears. If even one had surfaced, you would’ve fallen apart like a child.
ou pulled away after a long time, immediately noticing that his eyes were also filled with tears. However, he quickly wiped them away with his hand. Still, he was a sixteen-year-old boy, and crying in front of his sister felt like public humiliation for him, a shame that would last forever. You tried to do everything you could to avoid looking at his wrists. Both hands were wrapped in bandages, and from the conversation with your father, you learned that they had put in a lot of stitches. You focused on looking at his face—young, similar to yours, with the same blue eyes.
"Are parents visiting you?"
He shrugged.
"Father, surprisingly, more often. Mother drops by irregularly and talks about strange things. Apparently, our neighbor's dog has worms, and it really pisses her off. My mother, not the neighbor. Though, probably the neighbor too..."
You didn't know why you started crying.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry..." you mumbled, your words slurring. “I should have gotten here earlier, and I didn’t. I regret so much that I didn’t, I’m sorry. I should have been here the moment you woke up.”
He didn’t say anything, letting you lament. Finally, you wiped away the last tear, then apologized to him about eighteen more times. You sat together in silence for a moment, busying yourself with wiping the dirty jacket. He wasn’t joking about the pudding.
“How are you feeling?”
He shrugged.
“Tolerable, I guess. By the way, who was that guy who came in with you?”
You turned toward the entrance, but Spencer was nowhere to be seen. He must have sat on one of the chairs outside the room, and knowing him, he’d probably started reading some medical brochure.
“A friend,” you replied briefly. “I hope it doesn’t bother you that I brought him... It’s just…”
You didn’t know how to explain that you couldn’t have made it here without support.
“He works for the FBI too?” he asked, suddenly curious. “Would he tell me more about the job than you do?”
You crossed your arms over your chest, pretending to be dead serious.
“I won’t let him tell my little brother any graphic details.”
“I’m not a kid!”
“To me, you are, and always will be.”
He looked like he was holding back from sticking his tongue out at you.
“Call him,” he asked. “I’d love to meet your friend. Is he a friend, or a friend?”
“Jeremy, you’re ridiculous…”
But you fulfilled his request. Spencer stared at you with wide eyes when you told him that your brother wanted to see him. As he entered the room, he almost tripped over... probably his own feet, since there was nothing else to trip on. And that’s how the rest of the visit went, the three of you together. Jeremy alternated between complaining about the hospital food and bombarding Reid with questions about absolutely everything related to being a profiler. He had always been fascinated by it, but after everything that had happened to you, you couldn’t, with a clear conscience, recommend that job to him. Spencer had been explaining everything in detail to him, and for the next hour, you almost felt like an intruder in their private conversation, which amused you instead of offending you.
Spencer left a moment before you, giving you a chance to say goodbye to your brother privately. When you finally released him from your embrace, promising you'd come back tomorrow, the same nurse who had spoken with you at the reception entered the room. She was checking Jeremy’s condition as you headed for the exit.
“Wait,” she suddenly said. “I think your husband left his scarf.”
She held up the purple scarf, indeed Reid's. You were about to thank her and take it when you noticed Jeremy’s mouth hanging open, and with horror, you realized what she'd said.
"Forgive me, dear sister, but what the fuck?”
*
“So, he’s convinced that we had a secret, spontaneous wedding that you didn’t tell him about?”
“Yeah. Something like that.”
In reality, Jeremy had probably realized immediately that there was a misunderstanding, but he just couldn’t pass up the chance to tease you. He would likely bring it up again for the rest of your life. You were also worried that you'd get an angry phone call from your mother asking why you didn’t mention your “wedding,” but overall, you were content with how the meeting went.
You both walked together in an unknown direction, neither of you sure when you should part ways or if you even wanted to. You didn’t want to, but you had no idea about him. The weather was much better than in the town where you had spent the last few days. The fewer trees meant that autumn wasn’t as pronounced. It was only present in the chilly, gusty wind.
"If you don't have any plans, how about going out to eat?" you suggested.
"Sure." Reid agreed immediately, and the corner of your mouth twitched at the speed of his response. "What are you in the mood for?"
"Well, anything. There's a good restaurant on the corner of this street... Oh, God, I just remembered, I owe someone dinner as a thank you."
"Dinner? As a thank you?" he repeated with a strange look on his face. Before he could say anything else, he caught himself and snorted. "Interesting. Just curious, is it someone I know?"
"Oh, you know him." You continued with a barely suppressed smile. "Do you remember James Rivas? The forest ranger?"
Reid literally stopped in the middle of the sidewalk.
"Dinner? With him?"
"That's right. Well, he saved my life, so I guess I owe him that."
You were shocked when you learned how your team knew where to find you after you were kidnapped. The bunker Osborne took you to was unknown to the local authorities, hidden deep in the forest, far from any paths. When the rumor spread through the town about who was responsible for the murders and that an FBI agent had been kidnapped, the forest ranger showed up at the police station. He revealed that he knew the place where you might have been held because, as a child, he used to go there with friends, including Logan Osborne.
But of course, you had no intention of taking him to dinner. You just wanted to laugh at Reid's reaction.
"You're absolutely not owed anything by him!" he blurted out with emotion, a hint of anger in his voice. "If he'd only remembered that he knew about the existence of some bunker, you wouldn't have been kidnapped in the first place. You wouldn't have had to go through that hell, and I wouldn't have been losing my mind the whole time, not knowing what happened to you. Plus, have you forgotten what an awful person he is? He's arrogant, self-absorbed, and full of self-admiration—do you really want to have dinner with someone like that...are you laughing?"
He furrowed his brow, completely confused by your reaction.
“God, Reid, I was just joking! I’d rather die than spend another hour with that jerk. Especially voluntarily,” you explained, laughing between words. Something in his remark made you smirk. “Were you really losing your mind when I was kidnapped? “
“You’re impossible," he snorted. “Where’s that restaurant?”
“Wait, don’t change the topic and answer my question”
He simply looked at you, tilting his head to the side.
“Isn’t it obvious?”
taglist: @miriamnox @xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx @nightfullofparadox
thank you everyone for reading <3
#criminal minds fanfic#criminal minds#spencer reid#spencer reid criminal minds#spencer reid x oc#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid x reader#aaron hotchner#derek morgan#criminal mind#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds fic#spencer reid angst#doctor spencer reid
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helloooo!! can i request idw rung x human fem reader?? just fluff, maybe rung is exhausted from all the sessions and clients, and the reader is just there for him. Kinda like instead of rung giving out therapy, he's receiving therapy lolll
And this makes rung kinda emotional because like i said, he's always the one giving out therapy, and no one ever really cared about him that way
idk if u write for idw though i hope u do😭 have a nice day!
-🍓 anon
Thank you for requesting this, I wanna smother him in love so badly.
No warnings!
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Rung loves to help, the care he feels deeply for all on the ship is immeasurable, like a sire to their sparklings. He just wants to give them the tools to help themselves, to help them out of their depressions, to help manage their moods swings and out bursts.
To show them they aren't alone, and it's okay.
But some days take everything out of him, like learning something new in his clients past that just makes his spark break for them. Rung forgets himself, forgets that he too needs someone to lean on sometimes.
He didn't expect that support to come in the form of the human of the ship.
You knew he'd be back late and yet you still found your way to his habsuite, and stayed up waiting for him. You smile up at him, gentle and kind.
"Welcome back, you look tired, hon. C'mon, you need to lay down and relax."
He's not sure what made him break, your soft voice or your warm expression, but he could feel the fluid leaking down his face plate, fogging his goggles. He moved to you without a second thought, carefully picking you up and holding you close to his face plate as he lays down on his berth.
"I just want to help them."
His quaking voice breaks your heart.
"I know, Rung, I know. You have been doing so well. But you forget to take care of yourself, you can't help everyone if you're too tired." You try to wipe his tears, but there is just too much.
You nuzzle up close to him, offering some comfort to the large bot.
"You need someone to vent to, you need to take those stupidly long hot showers, read something new, you need time for yourself to recover."
When was the last time someone offered such support to him? Been there to let him cry and get it all out?
"You're a kind bot with so much love to give, but recovery isn't all work, you need to stop and just breathe in the moment, feel what you feel, and show it."
He lets out a watery chuckle.
"I know you're right, but I'm not pleased about it."
You playfully huff, "Well, now you just sound like Prowl being proven wrong."
Rung moves to lay on his side, curling around you in the process, keeping you close to him. He takes his fogged goggles off, setting them to the side, letting you see his pretty blue optics, but he looks so tired.
You place a hand on his cheek, rubbing soothing circles across his metal.
"You're a sweet bot, Rung, don't let these trying times ruin your compassion."
You nearly panic at how much he begins to sob, as if you broke the dam that had been cracking for so long, his cries were loud in your ears, but you never wavered in your comfort. You lay against him, kissing the digit of the servo that holds you.
he needs this, he's needed this for so long.
"It's okay, I'll stay by your side, always."
There isn't anything he wouldn't do for the crew, and there isn't a thing you wouldn't do for him. You let him cry as much as he needed until he grew exhausted, growing limp in the oncoming rest cycle.
He spoke up, his voice near a whisper.
"You'll stay here with me...right?"
You worm your way out of his servo and lay down next to his helm, his optics lazily following your every move.
"I'll be here when you wake up, you won't get rid of me that easily."
His smile, though tired, is just as sweet as always.
"Thank you."
"Anything for you."
You watch as his optics slide close, powering down to recharge. You will stay right here with him, right beside him no matter what, he's too kind to be left alone as is.
His berth isn't very comfortable for you, but you will ask for your bed to be moved here if he'd be okay with that.
Ah, you will worry about that in the morning, for now you just want to bask in his presence and enjoy this.
#transformers x reader#transformers#transformers rung#transformers rung x reader#transformers idw#i wonder what my therapist would think if she knew i was using what she said in a fanfic about a robot-#tranformers idw x reader#transformers mtmte#transformers mtmte x reader#transformers lost light
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Slim Pickens - Tyler Owens
Authors Note: Not me writing this smut on election day..... anyways enjoy! Cause I have no clue what happened to me.
Word Count: 5080
Warnings: SMUT, stranger tryna get laid and Tyler not having it.
Requests: OPEN
Main Masterlist ~ ~ Halloween 2024 Event
[Thank you for the gif @chrishemsworthsbitch ]
Enjoy!
“Guess I'll end this life alone
I am not dramatic
These are just the thoughts that pass right through me”
-
There was a simple saying that been passed down from generation to generation, and you knew it all too well.
‘No use crying over spilt milk’.
Your grandma used to say it whenever you had boy problems back in middle school and your mother took up the saying when you went on to middle school and in both of these stages in your life you hadn’t quite understood what they meant.
Now, sitting cross legged on Tyler Owens hotel floor as he repeated those very words to you, you knew them all too well. And by the look of his smug smile in your direction as he got ready for the day you knew he knew his words struck a nerve.
“Now don’t get cranky at me, sweetheart.” He warns, pointing at you as he kicks his boots closer to the bed so he can sit on the end of it to put them on. “I warned you he wouldn’t be worth it last night when you left.”
The ‘he’ in mention was some guy named Jake that you had matched with on Tinder last night, and who you had dumbly agreed to meet up with. It had been a long week of storm chasing and dealing with Tylers crappy music in the truck and you just wanted to relieve some pressure.
“He quoted shakespeare.” You try to defend only for him to laugh at you.
“You sleep with every guy that quotes shakespeare?”
“Guys who quote Shakespeare are hotter than guys who haven’t touched a book in their life!” You snap back. “And-”
“It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.” He interrupts, shoving his feet into the boots with a small look in your direction. But you were too focused on staring at the floor from exhaustion.
“Mkay Yoda.” You sigh and his hands fly up in the air from lack of belief.
“Seriously?”
“And I mean he was hot.” You continue, falling back to lay on the floor and stare at the ceiling as he finishes with the boots and moves to get his bag together. “Honestly he kind of reminded me of you. But then he had to talk. And he just kept ruining it.”
“How so?”
“He was all ‘You ever seen a jet, Sugar’? And can’t forget ‘There is almost nothing better than the high feeling of flying through the air….almost.’ And it was-” You finish off the sentence with a loud groan as you slap your forehead making him laugh.
“Did he not know what you do for a living?”
“Oh, you mean chase storms and kill them? No. Why would he? That would involve him asking me a question.” You seethe before Tyler comes into view, standing over you with that smug smile you hated and loved so much.
“Alright, come on Sugar. It’s time to go.”
“Tyler, I’m gonna die alone.” You groan, closing your eyes before covering your face. He is having none of it though, reaching down to grab at your forearms, hauling you up with an ease that makes your skin flush. His hands are warm on your skin and the way his thumbs circle your flesh has images of your nasty daydreams flashing through your mind.
“Enough of that mopin’. We got storms to chase and I ain’t got time to tell you that you’re never gonna die alone.”
“Cause you don’t believe it?”
“No, cause the chances of us dyin’ in a tornado together are far more likely.” He laughs, deep and throaty as he leans down to scoop you up by the waist, taking a second to slap at your back thigh before exiting the hotel. “Cate will also kill us if we’re late again.”
-
“All the douchebags in my phone
Play 'em like a slot machine
If they're winnin', I'm just losin'”
-
“Not to be that guy…” Tyler starts, his voice already filled with annoyance. “But is now the time to be checking your phone?”
His hands were tight on the wheel as the truck raced through the fields, efficiently tracking down the storm that had caught Cate’s eye. And while you normally took the passenger seat next to Tyler after fighting with Boone for it so that Cate could take her own ford with Javi, today she had taken the seat and you were in the back with Boone who was just as upset by losing his special spot next to Tyler.
It had been a rough day, between realizing one of the cars were completely broken down in the hotel parking lot and Boone nearly breaking his pinkie while trying to fix it. Let’s just say the hood of the truck came down a little too fast. Not only that but you had gotten stuck in the bathroom of your room until Tyler had to come save you in your towel, treating you like you were plague victim number one ever since.
But the best part of the day so far? The introduction to Scott loservains new team, conning poor victims one at a time.
“Hey man, I’m tracking our filming.” Boone argues, already offended.
“I’m making sure Javi has the same stats as us.” Cate argues.
“Not talking to either of you. I’m talking to little miss lovestruck in the back.”
“Hey!” You snap, immediately closing your phone. “Mind your business Tyler.”
“You’re in my truck. My truck is my business and everyone in the truck is my business.” He snaps back, shrugging his shoulders. “And besides, the more you let those fools win the more you lose.”
“How do you even know I was texting a guy?”
“Because Sugar, I know you.” He snaps, casting you a quick look from his spot at the wheel before turning back to the road.
“I think if you focused less on me then you would be able to drive better.”
“I think if you focused less on the boys in your phone you wouldn’t be bitchin’ and moanin’ at me all the time!” He snaps back making you gasp as Cate and Boone switch their attention back and forth between you both.
“Should we be worried?” Cate blurts, landing her gaze on you with her eyebrows pinched together in worry.
“Not unless Tyler can’t learn to mind his own damn business!”
“I’ll mind my business when you stop makin’ it my business!”
“FINE!”
“FINE!”
-
“A boy who's jacked and kind
Can't find his ass to save my life”
-
The bar that sat 3 blocks away from the current hotel the team was staying at could only be described as a dingy cowboy bar, and considering you were mad at a certain cowboy this was the perfect place. Surrounded by dozens of cowboy hats, none of them belonging to ‘Mr. Can’t Mind His Own Business’.
He currently stood at the other end of the bar, closer to the live band as the dance floor began to fill with line dancers. Even that far away he was still being a pain in your ass with the way he glared across the floor every time you looked over.
“You two don’t fight a lot. This is weird for you.” Cate chuckles, spinning her bottle of beer on the counter sat in front of you both, hearing the glass ring on the wood of the counter. “It sends the entire vibe of the group off.”
“It’s his fault.” You huff, scratching at the label of your own bottle as you avoided looking in his direction again. “I honestly don’t know where his freakout came from.”
“You don’t?”
“No!” You huff, slapping your hands on the counter. “We were fine yesterday, I told him about that date with the aviator-”
“Oh that Jake guy. He was kind of cute.”
“Thank you. Anyways-” You take a quick inhale of air before looking at her. “We were fine and then today he was fine when he came to help me out of the bathroom but the second the door to the bathroom opened he got pissy.”
“Do you know why?”
“No, I assumed he had been getting hounded by everyone all day. He must have been stressed.”
“Hmm.” She hums out, taking a look around the bar as you sit and mope. “I’m sure you both will get over it soon enough.”
“Slim chance. I am gonna ignore him forever now.” It’s obviously just you being over dramatic but you were angry and embarrassed that he would call you out like that in front of the group. “Besides, if he didn’t want me talking to him about all that boy stuff he should have just told me. I don't know where his boundaries lie unless he sets them.”
“Damn, that’s deep.” She nods before tilting her head. “They should have put you on the shirt.”
“That’s what I said.”
“And yet they-”
“Excuse me for interrupting ladies…” A new voice joins the group, making you both turn to the figure. A tall man with bruises along his jaw and a scratch right above his eyebrow. A black cowboy hat paired with a black shirt. A fine specimen if you could say so. “I just saw the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen in my life and I had to come say hello.”
“Well would you be pickin’ here?” Cate smiles.
“There is no wrong answer.” You hum out, tilting your head like a cat assessing prey.
“Then can I say both?”
“Oh, look at that. Even with a map leading to the answer he still managed to mess it up.” You snipe, giving Cate a knowing look as you both grab at your bottles of beer and move to make your exit.
“Wait wait.” He reaches a hand in front of you to try and stop you from passing. “Not a great start. I know that. So let me just start over, yeah?”
“Oh… I didn’t realize I did do overs.”
“Then what can I do to be granted one?”
“Is there a problem here?” Leave it to Tyler Owens to enter this scene, giving his best glare as he inserts himself between you both with his back to you so he can glare down the cowboy.
“There is no problem here.” The cowboy smirks, and you are shocked to see just how brave he was. Then it clicks, the bruises and the hat. This was a bull rider. “You got a problem, bud?”
“Oh yeah I have-”
“LET’S DANCE!” You interrupt, sending a glare to Tyler before pulling the bullrider to the floor as Tyler rolls his eyes.
Before you can make it too far his hand reaches out to grab your elbow with a knowing look, and even when he is mad he still holds your arm with a gentle ease and traces the skin with his thumb. “This isn’t a good idea.”
“Well that’s interesting…. Cause it’s MY business!” You scoff, pushing his arm back and moving to the dance floor with the stranger.
-
“Oh, it's slim pickings
If I can't have the one I love
I guess it's you that I'll be kissin'”
-
It was only fair, since there weren’t many options of men you would just lower your standards and have fun with this idiot for the night.
He had two left feet, and was pressed against you the entire time but not in a hot way, more so a sweaty mess kinda way. And you would have abandoned him already but every time you looked for an escape you saw Tyler and his glare, there was too much at stake here. You could never admit Tyler was right. In YOUR business.
So you ignored him and turned back to the stranger, just in time for this waste of space to press his lips to yours. It was awkward, the way your noses pressed together and how hard he smashed his lips to yours. There was no rhythm, no preparation or molding together. It was just his lips devouring your face as you tried to lean back. But the further you tried to get away the more he leaned with you.
When he pulls back he keeps his hands on you with a sharp smile. “Wanna go back to your place?”
There wasn’t many options, and the one option you truly wanted would never happen let alone the fact that you were fighting with him so you would make do with what you had. “Sure, let’s go.”
-
“Just to get my fixings
Since the good ones are deceased or taken
I'll just keep on moanin' and bitchin'”
-
Telling Cate that you were heading out with him was easy, she made you promise to update her that you were okay, which was easy to do. You managed to avoid any conversation about Tyler in his truck, which was hard because Mr. Bull Rider was dead set on asking about him.
“What was that guy with white hats problem?” He asked, and you changed the conversation to the music he was playing. Then he tried the “You guys ever date or somethin’?”
That one was harder to change since your throat got clogged up thinking of the answer. It’s not like you never wanted to date Tyler, in fact he was all you dreamed of. But it wasn’t meant to happen. Tyler wasn’t yours.
So you simply started giving him directions to the motel like he hadn’t asked. And by the time you made it to the destination you had hoped that the conversation had passed as you unlocked the door.
“This is it. Home sweet home….. For a little.” You smile, allowing him to look around while you take your shoes off.
“So you live in a motel?”
“When it’s tornado season, yes. We travel around but when he find a specific spot we try to stay.”
“You follow tornadoes?”
“Yes, and we chase them. And if there is destruction we try to help out the communities.” You explain, picking up the tornado shirt with Tylers face on it so you can show him then debate it at the last second you drop it down. “It’s fun.”
“I’ll bet.” He nods before allowing himself to sit on your bed. “We doing this?”
“Oh. Straight to the business.” You mumble, a little shocked as he begins unbuttoning the black top.
“Sorry, did you want to talk or something?”
“Well no- I just-” You couldn’t tell if you were thankful that the door opened in that second or absolutely furious as Tyler appeared with that fake innocent smile.
“Hey Sugar,” He starts, letting himself in fully and shutting the door. “I just wanted to come make sure that bathroom door was all taken care of for ya’.”
“Tyler, is now the time?”
“Oh, please. It’ll only take a minute.” He chuckles, walking past you both to get to the door. “Wouldn’t want you getting stuck in there again.”
“Tyler, what on eart-”
“Hey man, we were kinda in the middle of something here.” Stranger boy snaps out, scooting so he was right on the edge of the bed, his face pinched between confusion and anger.
“Hey, safety first.” Tyler laughs, the sound fake and bitter as he leans down to check the hinges of the door while you just blink in shock. “Ah I see the problem here.”
“Tyler.” You hiss.
“Just give me a moment.” He murmurs, working on the hinge of the door while you glare. “Just a minute……”
“Dude.” Stranger boy sighs and you are wound between shock, anger and embarrassment.
“I can’t believe this is happening,.”
“There she is. Good as new.” Tyler smiles, standing to swing the door. “Look at that. Bet you’re glad I did it.”
“Tyler. Out.” You snap, moving forward to grab parts of his shirt to drag him out the door and slam it on him. “Now where were we?”
But it’s no use, since the door reopens with Tyler giving yet another innocent look. “Oh, sorry to interrupt. I forgot my screwdriver here.”
“Tyler, grab it and then leave. And leave the key.” The fact that you were even in this moment was so bizarre.
“Actually, I think I’m gonna get going… but let me write my information for when you get rid of dumbass barbie over here.” Stranger cowboy mutter, grabbing the pad of paper from the desk and writing his stuff down before moving forward to attempt to kiss you but Tyler is there, patting him on the back aggressively with a slight shove.
“Sorry to see you go bud.” He smiles, a tense and angry smile before throwing an arm around your shoulder. “But we’ll be fine here.”
And you watch the bullrider leave, the door shutting before you whirl on him.
-
“Jesus, what's a girl to do?
This boy doesn't even know
The difference between "there," "their" and "they are".”
-
“I can murder you.” You seethe, shoving his arm off of you and taking a couple steps away from him. “Matter of fact, what’s stopping me from doing so?”
“I just figured you might want help with the door-”
“Enough with the bullshit Tyler Owens!” You yell, whirling on him with your hands on your hips and a heavy glare. “What on earth were you thinking? After your fit today and that scene I’m starting to think you have lost your damn mind!”
“Hang on now-”
“And what on earth-” You take a moment to snatch up the pillow from the motel bed to swing it at him. “WOULD MAKE YOU INTERUPT-”
“HE WAS TERRIBLE!”
“IT DOESN’T MATTER!” You yell. “Look around for a second Owens! There aren’t many options. The ones that are worth it are already taken, the one that I want would never go for me. I don’t have many options!”
“AND WHEN AM I GONNA BE AN OPTION?!” He yells out, grabbing your wrists before you can hit him with the pillow again. “When do I get the chance to prove myself?”
“Oh stop.” You snap, moving to walk away. “Don’t mess with me about this.”
“Why would I be messing with you? Is it so hard to believe that I want you?” He follows, making sure to keep a hand on you. “Time and time again you rant to me about these men, how they suck and you hate them. And I keep waiting for you to notice me, to give me a chance. Cate tells me that you might just be nervous, or that our time will come but Sugar I don’t think I can survive this much longer.”
“What do you mean?” Your tone is gentle and you’ve given up walking away, choosing to turn to him and allow him a chance to talk. Your heart was thumping through your chest and you were struggling to catch your breath.
“Sweetheart, from the moment I met you I’ve been stuck. Comin’ in with all that attitude like you owned the world, which if you ask me you do, and you didn’t hesitate to put me in my place.” He continues, moving closer to set his hands on your hips. “And I just kept begging the winds to give me a chance. To give me a single shot with you.”
“Then why wouldn’t you say anything?”
“Why would you give me a chance?” He laughs, pulling you in. “But I need one now. I’m begging you for a chance here.”
And though no words are spoken you both know the answer, especially when you pull him in with your hands on the back of his neck to attach your lips to his. And unlike the kiss in the bar this one felt perfect.
There was awkwardness. He tilted his head perfectly, pulling you chest to chest as his hat covers both your heads while his lips melt against yours. He takes his time learning the kiss, his hands rubbing up and down your back as you deepen the kiss some more. This is what was meant to be and you both knew it at that moment.
There is no objection when you begin unbuttoning his flannel, one at a time, never breaking the kiss as you push it off his shoulders and allowing it to fall to the floor before he reaches a hand up to throw the hat closer to the nightstand. He doesn’t waste time after he hears the thump of it landing to reach and lift his undershirt off, throwing it somewhere else as he makes eye contact.
“Please tell me I ain’t dreamin’ right now.” He whispers out as you begin to undo your own shirt to slip off before leaning up.
“I can’t tell.” You whisper back, leaning on your tiptoes to attach your lips once more, his arms wrapping around you to undo the back of your bra.
Normally when a man removes the bra it is thrown away and he doesn’t focus too much on any of it, but Tyler? He kisses around your jaw as he undoes the buckle of it before his kisses move down your neck while he drags the bra down until he can drop it, allowing his hands to roam. The feel of his hands sends shivers throughout you and yet they keep you warm as you try to back him to the bed.
“You sure?”
“Never been more sure.” You whisper back, undoing his belt as he kicks off his boots. “I want you.”
“I’ve been waiting to hear those words from you.” He grunts out, pulling you closer before falling back onto the bed and dragging you with him.
-
“Yet he's naked in my room
Missin' all the things he's missin'
God knows that he isn't livin' large”
-
It doesn’t take long for you both to strip, slowly and gently, until you are both bare. He doesn’t waste time kissing you gently before guiding you up the bed until you’re leaning on the pillow you hadn’t dragged away, kissing along jaw as you sigh out in relief.
He takes his time kissing down your neck, nipping a bit to pull out a breathy moan from your lips before moving further down to kiss and suck at your breasts. He grunts out at the way you wiggle, a breathy giggle passing your lips until a moan passes them the moment his tongue circles one of your nipples. The sound draws his eyes to yours and that sweet lovestruck look falls into one of ferocity, the heated light within them as your lower stomach tightening and your hands rushing to get some contact.
Once your hands find purchase he abandons your breasts, leaving them cold to the air, as he makes his way further down. Every kiss is followed by a lick, every nip is given a bushel of kisses to make up for it. He works your body until he makes it to your thighs, spreading them open for him to view, sending a shiver across your body.
“Tyler, please.” You gasp out, that tight feeling in your stomach begging for relief as your thighs beg to shut, but he is having none of it. Keeping them forced open so that he may give your inner thighs the same treatment he had given the rest of your body.
He gives up his torture with a growl before diving straight in to lick right between your folds. He keeps his hands around your hips to keep you pinned to him when your back arches as you moan out loud. He devours you, licking and sucking over and over with grunts and growls to match your moans.
He doesn’t relent until your moan hits near scream and your hands grip at the pillow, dragging it to your face to bite into as you reach your peak, entire body shuddering as you moan out.
He continues until you come down, pulling away to give you the smuggest smile you had ever seen from him, your entire body ablaze as you sit up to reach for him.
The other kisses were sweet and gentle, this one was two animals claiming each other. And he let you take charge, your speed and your lead. Tasting your own juices as you dragged him back down to lay over you.
-
“A boy who's nice that breathes
I swear he's nowhere to be seen”
-
He’s quick to flip you both over so that he’s beneath you and you are on top, a wave of panic filling you.
“Tyler….I’ve never-” You begin, hands landing on his chest as he gazes up at you with the softest eyes you have ever seen from him.
“If you don’t want to then that’s fine, Sweetheart.” He mutters, reaching over to grab where his hat landed and bringing it to set on your head. “But you might just need a little confidence.”
And he was right, with the way he was looking at you and the way the hat felt, suddenly you believed you could rule the world. So you lifted yourself a bit, keeping the gaze as you reached down to line yourself up to him, and with a loud moan you sunk yourself down.
-
“It's slim pickings
If I can't have the one I love
I guess it's you that I'll be kissin'”
-
His grunts were easily replaced by moans as you sunk down, his hands digging into your hips, letting you take a moment to adjust before guiding your hips slowly. You tilt your hips with each guide, struggling to catch the proper rhythm and getting pleasure nonetheless.
A moan escapes you as he guides you down at the same time he thrusts up and it’s like something clicks as you begin to find your own rhythm. Using your hands on his chest to keep yourself stable as you begin to speed up your movements.
Tyler gives in, enjoying your new pace, thrusting up into every bounce. Grunting and growling as his nails dig into your hips and he closes his eyes to enjoy the pleasure while you lean down to nip at his chest which makes him groan. “Darlin’...”
And that makes something inside of you burn, a feral moan passing your lips as you speed up, nails digging into his chest before he sits up to kiss you, helping you bounce on his cock with ease.
“Y-you’re…” He groans. “Fuckin’ perfect.”
His arms wrap around you, and he readjusts so that he was on his knees to thrust into you, pulling you down to meet him. The sound of skin slapping is alluring and your thighs clench to cage him in as you lose your breath and shut your eyes.
“Tyler.” You whine, nails digging into his back as something in you begins coiling, tighter and tighter until he bites down between your neck and shoulder and it all falls in an instant. All you can see is white as you bite down on your own lip, holding him tight to you as the waves of pleasure subside.
He continues to thrust before falling under the same spell that had you, keeping his forehead pressed into your collarbone as he spills his cum into you.
You both fall into the cushion of the bed, shuddering as he pulls out before closing your eyes to catch your breath from that experience. And when he wraps his arms around you it’s far too easy to fall asleep from his warmth surrounding you like a blanket of it’s own.
-
“Just to get my fixings
Since the good ones are deceased or taken
I'll just keep on moanin' and bitchin'”
-
It’s the feeling of him moving that wakes you a couple hours later, when the bed dips as he stands, making you blink in the dark to see what he is doing. Apart of you panics that he might be leaving, and this was just going to be a one night stand until he pulls on his boxers and turns back to come lift you.
“Why are we awake?” You croak, already feeling cranky at the fact that you had been woken up.
“I figured you’d want to shower, and this is when I normally do.”
“You shower at 4am?” You scoff, clinging to him as he sets you down so your feet touch the cold bathroom floor.
“Yeah. I figured out that no one else showers at this time-”
“Because it’s crazy.”
“Well since no one else showers at this time the water is always at its best pressure and warmth.” He explains, reaching in to turn it on. “Then I can get another hour or so of sleep.”
“Oddly genius.” You giggle, laughing when he shucks the boxers off as a pretend strip tease before hauling you into the shower with him.
-
“Moanin' and bitchin'”
-
He takes his time washing your body, lathering the soap over your body with gentle hands as his eyes traced over you over and over again like he was trying to memorize every inch of you.
He let you do the same, the only words spoken never went above a whisper so you didn’t break the bubble and shampooed eachother before shutting the water off and using the towel.
When he swings the door open he makes sure to raise his eyebrows, a look of pride covering his face that makes you scoff.
“You cannot be serious.”
“I wonder what hot scoundrel fixed that for you…”
“Hmmm. I wish I knew.” You tease, “I might have rewarded him.”
A small growl leaves his lips as he scoops you up and hauls you to the bed once more.
-
“Since the good ones call their exes wasted
And since the Lord forgot my gay awakenin'
Then I'll just be here in the kitchen
Servin' up some moanin' and bitchin'”
-
You sit on the motel floor as Tyler works around you to get ready for the day, listening to you bitch and moan as he struggles to put his boots on.
“I’m so sore.” You whine, falling flat on the floor to stare at the ceiling. “Yeah? At least you never have to worry about dying alone.”
“No,” You huff out a laugh. “Now I just have to worry about you killing me.”
“Never.” He smiles, coming to haul you off the floor just to throw you over his shoulder and head for the door.
-
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Rumor
Boothill x reader
Word count: 16,145
I recommend listening to Rumor by Lee Brice because that's the song Boothill sings in this
Notes: fem reader, described to be shorter, long hair, body size is not described, jealousy, angst, fluff, one drunk guy, protective Boothill, slightly suggestive at one part, foul language. I think that's it
Authors note: Well I spent so much time writing this and I'm really proud of it. So if you hate it please don't tell me, I'll lose all motivation to write. But there was so much more I wanted to write with this so maybe I'll write mini spin offs. Anyways I hope you guys enjoy!! Feel free to like, comment, and follow!!
You hear the ping of your phone alerting you that you just got a new message. You dig your phone out of your pocket to see who it is.
Uncle Welt: I am outside the terminal to pick you up. I’m in a gray pickup truck. See you soon kiddo.
You smile to yourself thinking about how happy and excited you are to be moving in with your uncle after leaving your city life behind. You look for your suitcase at baggage claim, once you have it you make your way to the terminal. You walk outside to see a line of trucks and the third car in line is the one you’re looking for. Once you start making your way over to the car you see your uncle get out of the car. You run over to him once he’s in your view to give him a big hug.
“Hey kiddo, it’s great to see you. I’ve missed you. How was your flight?”
“Hi Uncle Welt” you bury your head into his chest unable to control your happiness. “I’m so happy to see you again, I’ve missed you more than you can imagine. My flight was good, but long. So, I’m happy to be on solid ground”.
He chuckles and pats your head. You guys separate and he goes to grab your luggage to put into the trailer bed. You both hop into the truck and start heading towards his ranch. Once you started getting out of the main part of the town you stared out at all the beautiful scenery you never got to see in the city. You guys sat in a comfortable silence until Welt spoke, “hey we have to make a pit stop on the way back. I promised the boys I’d get a pizza for dinner tonight to celebrate you coming here.”
“Oh yeah, I forgot you adopted those two little boys. What are their names again?”
“Their names are Dan Heng and Caelus. They are really good kids and haven’t stopped talking about you coming. Those crazies can’t wait to meet you.”
You giggle while saying “They sound adorable. I can’t wait to meet them too.”
Welt smiles while turning into a small parking lot that has a tiny pizza shop in the middle. He parks and turns to you, “You can stay in the car. I had Boothill make the order so I can pick it up on the way back.” You nod and give a small smile. Welt gets out of the car and head into the small building. As you think more about what he said, he brought up a name you’ve never heard of. You’ll have to ask him when he comes back.
After a couple minutes you see him walk out, you open your car door so he can hand you the pizza boxes to hold. Once you have the boxes in your hand your mouth starts watering at the smell of the pizza. You hear your door shut as Welt walks around back to the driver side to hop back in. After he buckles and pulls out of the parking lot you decide to ask him about that person he brought up. “Hey, Uncle Welt. You brought up someone named Boothill. Who is that?”
“Oh yeah, he’s my farm hand. He basically takes care of the farm since I’m busy with the business side of the farm and the boys. The boys try to help him out as much as they can to impress him, but they are only 11. So, they can only do so much. But back to Boothill, he’s around your age, he’s 24.”
“Oh, that’s really cool. I didn’t know you had a farm hand. He sounds really nice.”
“Yeah, he’s a good guy. He does a lot for me, and I’m super thankful to have his help.”
You smile and say “I’m happy you have someone that has helped you with the farm. I can’t imagine that being easy.”
Welt chuckles and gives you a smile. After driving for another 15 minutes, you hear gravel crunch under the wheels as you pull up to his house. Welt tells you to leave your stuff in the car, he’ll come back out to get it after you guys eat. He gets out and walks around to open your door and to take the pizzas. You hop down from the truck and follow him inside. Before you guys get to the door, you see the door fly open and see a kid with gray hair standing there huffing and puffing. You see another kid with black hair come to stand behind him and starts to scold him. “Caelus why did you do that? You don’t want to scare her before you even meet her.”
Caelus snaps his head back looking at Dan Heng, “WAIT I SCARED HER!? I DIDN’T MEAN TOO!!” He turns to you, “I’M SO SORRY MA’AM, I DIDN’T MEAN TO SCARE YOU!! I’ve just been so excited to meet you and wanted to greet you.”
You smile as you get to the door and pat his head “It’s okay, you didn’t scare me. It makes me happy you came to greet me. We got some pizza, let’s go eat dinner, okay?”
“YAY MR YANG GOT PIZZA!!! Let’s go!!” His little hand grabbed yours and dragged you with him to the dining room. Dan Heng and Welt follow behind you two. Welt sets the pizza boxes on the table and turns to Dan Heng to ask him to get some plates. He then turns to face Caelus and asks, “Where is Boothill?” Caelus replies “Oh, the fence in the back corner broke again so he was fixing it last time we saw him. But he said he would be done before dinner.”
Welt goes to reply but you hear the back sliding door open and close accompanied by a grunt. You turn to see what is causing the commotion and you freeze in place. A tall man with white long hair with black tips on the ends. He’s wearing a white t shirt and blue jeans that show off his muscular figure. Then a black cowboy hat on top of his head. You think to yourself that he is the most breathtaking man you have ever seen in your life.
Boothill senses eyes on him and he looks up to see everyone looking at him but sees someone he’s not familiar with. He looks at you and takes you in. You’re on the tinier side with nice long hair. You’re wearing a pair of blue jeans and a white sweater. He thinks to himself that you are the most breathtaking woman he has ever seen.
“Darn it. Y’all made it back before I finished. Let me wash my hands really quick.”
Boothill leaves the room, but you are still daydreaming until a little hand still connected to yours tugs on it to get your attention. You snap out of your daydream to look down at the little boy staring up at you, he asks if you can sit by him during dinner. You smile and tell him yes as he leads you to your seat. You all sit down and wait for Boothill to join you guys again to start eating.
You hear a creak in the floor indicating Boothill is coming back. He pulls out a chair across from you and gives you a nice smile once he sits down. “Well, I guess I’m the last one to meet the new pretty lady. I’m Boothill, I’m Mr. Yang’s farm hand.” He reaches out his hand to you for a handshake, you reach out while introducing yourself. His hand is so big and warm compared to yours, you can’t help but stare how his hand engulfs yours. Boothill obviously realizes what you’re doing so he slightly squeezes your hand. Your eyes snap to his and he gives you a little smirk. You instantly blush and gently let go of his hand.
You all dig into the pizza and listen to Caelus and Dan Heng talk about their day at school. Then they start talking about their friends next door and how once you’re settled in, they are going to bring them over to meet you. After everyone has their full you stand up and start grabbing the used dishes to bring them over to the sink. Boothill goes to stop you because he thinks the new resident should not do the dishes on the day of their arrival. But is cut off by Welt asking him about the fence. The two of them walk to the back door to go look at the fence Boothill has fixed, but before leaving Welt turns around to tell the younger boys to wash up and get ready for bed.
Once you wash the dishes and dry them you set them on the counter not sure where they go. You decide you’ll just ask Dan Heng or Caelus where they go. Just as you’re about to leave the kitchen, the two boys walk in all washed up and in their pajamas. You look at them and tell them “Ah perfect timing boys! I was just about to go look for you. I just finished the dishes but don’t exactly know where they go.”
Dan Heng softly smiles and walks to grab the plates and walks to the cabinet where they belong. You thank him and then ask another question “I know it’s Thursday night so it’s a school night, but I have a quick question. What time do all you guys get up? I want to make you guys breakfast, so you all are fueled for your day on the farm or at school.”
Caelus and Dan Heng look at one another before Dan Heng speaks up, “Mr. Yang wakes up around 6 then we wake up around 7. But we don’t know when Mr. Boothill wakes up. He’s always up and working before any of us so we don’t know. But you can ask him or Mr. Yang.”
“Thank you so much. I’ll ask my uncle first to see if he knows and if he doesn’t know, I’ll ask Boothill.”
Caelus speaks up next, “Um… I have a question now.”
You look at him a little worried because he never sounded so quiet and unsure of himself in the little time you’ve known him. You give him a smile and tell him to go ahead and ask.
“Could you tuck me and Dan Heng into bed?”
You stare at the little boys; they both look a little nervous and aren’t making eye contact with you. But little do they know your heart is soaring with joy. You excitedly answer, “Of course! Lead the way.”
Caelus and Dan Heng turn to look at you with the biggest smiles and both reach out to grab your hands to pull you along with them. Once you guys walk up the stairs and get to the first room Caelus pushes the door open and walks inside to the lit-up room. Once you’re all inside the boys drop your hands and hop into their beds. You first walk to Caelus and make sure he’s all tucked in and wish him a goodnight. Then you go over to Dan Heng and make sure he’s all tucked in then wish him a goodnight. As you walk to the door you turn to them and say you’re happy to have met them. They return the sentiment and say they’ll see you in the morning. You bid them one last goodnight and walk out of their room and shut the door.
As you walk out you run into someone and look up to see Welt. He looks down and smiles at you. “It seems like the boys really like you. Thank you for putting them to bed.”
“I hope they like me. They are really sweet, and I already adore them. Oh, by the way the boys told me what time they wake up as well as when you do. But they don’t know when Boothill does. Do you know what time he wakes up?”
Welt looks at you a little confused and tells you “I’m not sure what time he wakes up. Why do you ask?”
You quickly respond, “I swear it isn’t for any weird reason. I just want to make you all breakfast, so you all are fueled for your days. And before you tell me no, I’m not going to back down from this. You’re letting me live here when you already have three other people living here with you and you’re not making me work at all. I want to be able to help, so I’ll taking up the household chores so all you boys can focus on what you all need to do.”
Welt sighs and relents “Okay, okay. I’ll agree to that. But you’ll have to ask Boothill. I’m not sure where he is right now but I had him bring your luggage in. So, he’s probably putting it in your room or he’s in the bathroom washing up before bed.”
“YAY! I’ll go find him right now. But again, thank you so much for letting me live here now Uncle Welt. It means a lot.” You give him another bone crushing hug after he says he’d do anything for you. You guys separate and bid each other a goodnight. Welt walks into the next room right by the younger boys. As you watch him shut the door, you realize you forgot to ask which room was yours. But you’re saved by the man you’re looking for walking out of the bathroom.
Once he’s fully in the hallway you call out to him. He turns around and gives you another small smile. He starts the conversation by saying “I brought your stuff in. Your room is the second to last one on the right.”
“Thank you for your help! I also have a question for you.”
“Go ahead darlin’.”
“What time do you wake up? I swear it’s not for anything weird. I just want to make you guys breakfast, so you all are properly fueled for your days.”
Boothill laughs and proceeds to tell you, “You don’t hafta do that for me darlin’. Just make sure you get some proper sleep, especially since ya just got here.”
You practically beg him, “Pleaseeee. I’m going to do all the housework and cooking is a part of it. I want to feed everyone, and I certainly don’t want anyone with empty bellies.”
Boothill looks away and lets out a big sigh. He then looks back at you, “Fine. I wake up at 5. But if you’re ever not willing to wake up that early, please don’t push yourself.”
You jump up and down after finally getting your answer. You get closer to him to grab his hands, “I promise you won’t regret this. I’ll be up tomorrow to make you something!”
“I’m looking forward to it darlin’.” He brings up one of your knuckles to his lips and presses a small kiss on the back. “Goodnight pretty girl, see you in the morning.” He lets go of your hand and turns around to walk to his room.
You stand there frozen in place with your face bright red. You snap out of your frozen stance and stumble out a goodnight. You then realize that his room is right next to yours.
You walk into your room and realize your uncle must have given you the next biggest room because attached to this room has a bathroom. You are too tired to unpack everything tonight, so you just grab your toiletries and a pair of pajamas to change into. Once you’re in your pajamas you go into the bathroom to brush your teeth, wash your face and brush your hair.
When you’re all done with your night routine you walk back into your bedroom and grab your phone and its charger from your purse. You plug your charger into the wall then plug your phone in. You set an alarm for 4:45 and set it on the nightstand. Then you hop into bed with sleep coming easy since of the long travel day you had. But also, because you realized you’ll get some alone time with Boothill tomorrow morning.
You hear the soft ring of your alarm indicating it is time to get up. You pop out of bed rushing to the bathroom to quickly do your morning routine. You decide to leave your pajamas on because you’ll shower after you make everyone breakfast.
You quickly leave your room and walk downstairs to the kitchen. You see a coffee maker in the far corner by the fridge and decide to start a pot. You decide to look above to coffee maker to see if that is where the coffee bags and mugs are. Luckily you guessed right and pull down the opened pack of coffee and three mugs. You pour a good amount of ground coffee into the top not knowing how much Boothill and Welt drink.
While the coffee is brewing, you decide to go look in the pantry to see what you can make. You see baking ingredients and chocolate chips and you deiced to make chocolate chip pancakes. You get all the ingredients out and set them on the counter. You then walk to the fridge and see what you can add to breakfast. You decide to make scrambled eggs and add some of the cut-up berries already in there.
Just as you get everything on the counter you hear steps coming down the stairs. Boothill turns the corner into the kitchen and sees all the ingredients. “Good mornin’ darlin’. How did you sleep?”
You turn to him to answer, “Good morning Boothill. I slept really good, the room is great. How did you sleep?”
“Glad to hear that. I slept good too. But it looks like you’re gonna have a good spread for us.”
“Haha yeah, I’m going to make chocolate chip pancakes with some scrambled eggs along with some berries. Oh, I also made coffee, go ahead and help yourself. I didn’t know how you liked yours, so I left it for you to make because I didn’t want to mess it up.”
Boothill comes further into the kitchen and passes you to get to the coffee maker. He gives a small thank you as he starts pouring his coffee into one of the three mugs you had gotten out.
You start looking for a bowl to start making the pancake batter. Boothill can quickly tell what you’re doing and proceeds to grab a bowl for you. He also then tells and shows you where everything is, so you don’t have to always ask. You thank him and then ask “How many pancakes would you like? I’ll make some for you now and make some later for the others.”
He quickly replies as he sits at the counter in one of the barstools, “I’ll just take two and some fruit please.”
“Coming right up!” You go to grab a pan then put it on the stove. You turn on the stovetop and let it heat up and you finish mixing up the batter in the meantime. Once the pan is warmed up you put a little bit of butter on the pan to make sure the pancakes don’t stick. You pour the batter in once the butter is melted. While you wait for the one side to cook, you go to the pantry to grab the syrup.
You walk back to the stove after placing the syrup on the counter. You flip the pancakes then move to put some fruit on Boothill’s plate. You two wait silently for the pancakes to finish but internally you are freaking out because all you want to do is create a conversation so you can get to know him better. You take a deep breathe then go to pose a question to start the conversation.
“Sooo Boothill, how long have you been working on the ranch?”
Boothill responds, “I think since I was sixteen and I’m twenty-four now so 8 years. Mr. Yang found me behind the school all alone and took me in. Since then, I’ve done nothing but repay him for his kindness.”
You instantly feel bad for making him bring up and talking about a bad memory, and he senses that you’re about to apologize. Before you get the chance to apologize, he goes to cut you off, “Ain’t none of that sweetheart. There’s no need to feel bad or apologize, it’s just the truth. Nothin’ to be ashamed of or that’s my point of view.”
You give him a nod and smile, “Well I’m glad Uncle Welt helped you and gave you a place you enjoy like being at.” You turn your focus really quick to take the pancakes out of the pan and onto his plate. You drizzle some syrup on his pancakes then go to hand the plate and some silverware to him. “But I am super happy I got the chance to meet you and get to know you better. I hope you enjoy breakfast.”
Boothill reaches for the plate and silverware giving you a big smile showing off his beautiful smile, “The pleasure is all mine darlin’.” Boothill digs right into his pancakes and as soon as he takes a bite, he lets out a deep groan. “Man, these are incredible. You sure are one hell of a cook darlin’.”
You blush instantly feeling your whole body get hot from his compliment, “Oh no no. It’s nothing, I’m not that good.” Boothill gives you a glare and before he can respond Welt comes into the kitchen.
“I thought I heard some noise down here. Good morning you two.”
“Good morning, Uncle Welt. I made some coffee, help yourself. Do you want me to wait to make you breakfast so you can eat with the boys or are you hungry now? I can make you some pancakes and eggs if you’re hungry.”
Welt shakes his head, “No go ahead and wait. The boys like eating with more people around. Thank you for the coffee. I’ll go ahead and make the boys’ school lunches. Before you ask, no I can make them don’t worry. Make yourself some food and eat with Boothill.”
You start to make your own pancakes because now that Welt brought up eating, you realize you are quite hungry. You quickly repeat the process of making the pancakes. Once you’re done you realize Boothill barely touched his pancakes since his first bite. It made you think he didn’t end up liking them. He realizes your inner turmoil and quickly tells you “I want to eat with you. Trust me I love these pancakes. Speakin’ of these, Mr. Yang once you eat these tell her how great they are. She don’t believe me.”
Welt looks over his shoulder as he is finishing packing the boys’ lunches, “She has always been a great cook. I bet they are great, now I’m looking forward to it.”
“HA, I win darlin’. Accept defeat and take the compliments.” Giving you a sly smirk as you sit by him. A nice silence falls between the three of you as you eat. Boothill finishes before you and heads over to the sink to wash his dishes, you stop by calling out to him. “Boothill, just leave it in there. I’ll do all the dishes once everyone has eaten. Plus, I bet you have work to attend to, don’t worry about a little thing like that.” “You’re a real nice one darlin’.” He walks to the backdoor to slip on some brown cowboy boots that are caked in mud. He goes to open the door and gets halfway out to it before he calls to you, “Thank you for breakfast. It was delicious, haven’t had a nice breakfast like that in a long time.”
Before you could respond he’s fully outside shutting the door. You turn around to your uncle to ask exactly what he means. Welt takes a deep sigh before responding, “I took him in when he was sixteen, he was homeless and in great pain. I won’t tell you why he was like that, it’s his story to tell. But he is always up much earlier than everyone else no matter the day, so he’s never sat down and had breakfast with us. He really only eats dinner with us. That damn boy always skips out on lunch too no matter how much I scold him about it.”
The more you hear about Boothill’s life the more you want to cry and give him a hug and tell him everything is going to be okay from now on. “Uncle Welt, from now on I’ll make sure he eats every meal with someone.”
Welt let’s out a softer sigh while breaking into a little smile, “Thank you. If anyone can do it, it’ll be you.”
You feel an immense warmth in your body towards what Welt said but it also fills you with a great determination. You check the time and see it getting closer to when the boys said they wake up. So, you quickly finish eating and get to work on making the boys’ breakfast.
You start crack some eggs into a bowl and mix them while the next wave of pancakes are cooking. You start to warm up another pan to make scrambled eggs. Once the pan is warmed up you start making the scrambled eggs. You continue to multitask with the two pans until everything is done.
Once you’re done you start making plates for Welt, Dan Heng and Caelus. Just as you’re finishing up you hear the boys come downstairs. They walk into the dining room to see plates full of eggs, chocolate chip pancakes and fruit.
“OH MY GOSH. DAN HENG LOOK!!! PANCAKES, I LOVE PANCAKES!! THEY ARE MY FAVORITE!!” He runs to his seat and tries to start eating until Welt stops him and tells both boys to wash their hands before they eat. Caelus deflates but ultimately listens to Welt.
Once they have washed their hands, they return to the dining room to start eating. You ask them what they would like to have to drink, and they both respond with water. You go and get them two glasses of water. You return and give them their water and they thank you as they keep eating.
You’re about to leave the dining room to go do the dishes until Welt calls out to you. “Boothill was right. These pancakes are very delicious.” Before you can thank him, Caelus speaks up “MR. YANG IS RIGHT. THEY ARE INCREDIBLE!! I LOVE THEM, MY NEW FAVORITE PANCAKES!! RIGHT DAN HENG?”
You all turn to Dan Heng as he finishes his food, “Yes, they are amazing. I really love them. Thank you for making breakfast.”
Caelus and Welt also thank you for making breakfast. You give them a smile and say you’ll always make breakfast for them. You grab all their dishes to add to the dishes in the sink you have to wash.
The boys go upstairs to change for school while Welt comes back into the kitchen to grab their lunches so he can finish packing their backpacks. He walks back out of the kitchen calling for the boys to hurry up so he can drive them to school.
You focus on the dishes and as you’re about to start you see a spider coming down from the ceiling you let out a loud scream and back up. But you ran into something solid, then an arm comes around your waist to stabilize you.
“Hey, what’s wrong darlin’?” BOOTHILL! Your saving grace. You quickly release yourself from his hold and run behind him. You grab onto the back of his shirt and hide behind him. “Boothill, I don’t know where you came from but PLEASE HELP ME.”
“Well, I came back in to say bye to the boys but heard you scream so I came back here. But I’ll ask you again, what’s wrong darlin’?”
“I was trying to do the dishes and then out of NOWHERE a big spider came down in front of me. Can you please kill it for me? I am so afraid of spiders.”
“I’ll kill it don’t worry. Just stay right here.” He goes to grab a paper towel and sees the spider now crawling on the counter and goes to smash it. He takes the paper towel and crumples it up to throw it in the trash can.
He turns around to face you and you jump into him giving him a big hug. You bury your head into his chest and quietly mumble out “Thank you Boothill.” He quickly wraps an arm around your waist and another holding the back of your head to keep you close to him.
“Of course. I’ll kill any bug for ya.” You pull back a little and smile up at him. You don’t want to let go but you know he has work he has to get back to. So, you sadly let go of him and he relents to letting go of you too. You both don’t move but you look back up and tell him, “I’ll make us some lunch around noon, and I’ll bring it out to you. And no, you cannot refuse.”
“Wasn’t goin’ to sweetheart. I’ll see you at noon.” He then takes his leave back out the backdoor to continue with his workload. You get all giddy thinking about having lunch with Boothill but then you’re snapped back into reality when you see the sink full of dishes.
After you finished the dishes, you went back up to your room to get ready for the day and unpack. While doing all of that, the morning seemed to blow by super fast. Once it started getting closer to noon you head into the kitchen to figure out what to make for lunch. You look around the pantry and fridge to see that you are quite low on ingredients. You make a mental note to tell Welt so you can go and get more food for the house.
You decide on just making some sandwiches with cucumbers, carrots, and chips on the side. You quickly make the sandwiches, cut the vegetables, and pack some chips in a container. You remember Boothill showed you that there was a picnic basket in one of the lower cabinets, so you go to grab that to pack all the food in.
You remember that you have extra throw blankets in your room, so you run quickly up to your room to grab a couple so you guys could sit on them. You head back downstairs and start to pack the picnic basket with the blankets and food. You then go to the fridge and grab a few water bottles because you haven’t heard Boothill come back in, so he definitely hasn’t drank anything since his coffee.
You finish packing the picnic basket and go to throw on your sneakers. You come back into the kitchen and grab the picnic basket. Once you pull it off the counter you end up realizing how heavy the basket really is. You just tell yourself to deal with it because it’s important for you to do this.
You head to the backdoor and begin your journey of walking around trying to find Boothill because you don’t have his number to text and ask where he is. You decide just to head to the big barn you see in the distance.
You never realized how much land your uncle had until you had to walk it. It is beautiful but quite stressful to find your way when you’ve never been out here before. As you keep walking to find Boothill, you hear your named getting called. You look around to see Boothill jogging over to you from one of the smaller buildings they had.
He finally reaches you and gives you a light smile. He looks down and sees you holding the heavy looking picnic basket and immediately takes it from you to carry it for you. The warmth of his hand touching yours make you blush and quickly look away from him. He realized you were blushing he didn’t bring it up which makes you thankful.
Boothill speaks up, “I know a cute place I can show you. We can eat there.”
You turn back to face him and give him a smile, “Go ahead and lead the way cowboy.”
Boothill lets out a little chuckle and holds his elbow out for you. You link your arm with his and set out to the place he wants to show you. He leads you towards the smaller building he was just and takes you around to back of the building to show you a small pond with a wooden little dock. Which has a nice view of other parts of the land you haven’t seen.
“Boothill, this is absolutely breathtaking.”
“Haha yeah, I know. I always hang out here and so do the boys. We’ll fish, eat, or just goof around here. But it makes me happy you like it too.” He leads you to the dock and sets the picnic basket down a little bit further from the edge of the dock.
You sit down to start unpacking the picnic basket laying down the blankets and putting the food and waters on top. Boothill sits by you after you finish “Wow darlin’, you’re really spoilin’ me, aren’t ya?”
You giggle, “I just want to make sure you actually eat and drink something. And getting to spend time with you is a big bonus.”
“Well thank you in advance darlin’. I’ll admit I did hurry with my tasks this morning to make sure I’d actually be able to sit down with ya and eat.”
“Boothill, you didn’t have to do that. I don’t want to disturb you.”
“You ain’t distrubin’ anyone pretty girl. It makes me happy you wanna spend time with me.”
“Of course I want to spend time with you! Why wouldn’t I?”
“Well, I am nothin’ but a stranger to ya.” “You might be but that’s why I want to spend time with you. I want to get to know you Boothill.”
Boothill freezes and just stares at you and takes you all in. No one has been that interested in knowing him since Welt took him in. He looks from you to the sky and just stares. You think you upset him. You go to apologize until he turns to you and in a nice soft voice he says, “Well that’s good because all I wanna do is know you too.”
You blush a fierce red but give him a big smile. He then proceeds to grab a sandwich and tells you to dig in. You both ate in silence again eating all the food quite fast since you both were quite hungry. You wash down your food with some water then get up and walk to the edge of the dock.
You hear Boothill come up behind you stays right behind you. You can feel his warmth bleed into your back. You turn around to face him, “Next time you bring the boys, can I come with?”
He looks down at you, “You don’t even hafta ask, you were already on the invite list.”
You go to jump up and down but forget you are near the edge of the dock. You start to fall backwards. Once you realize what’s going on you go to reach out to grab Boothill. You don’t fall too far backwards because Boothill pulled you into him holding you tight. You are breathing heavy and shaking. You start to feel bad, so you bury your head into his chest.
“I’m sorry Boothill.”
“Hey,” he releases one arm around you to tip your head up to have you look at him “there’s nothin to be sorry for. I’m glad I caught you. Are you okay?”
You nod your head, “Yeah, I’m okay. Boothill, do you know that you give the best hugs?”
“I have been told that. The boys and their friends tell me that. Any time they got a scrape or got sad they’d come to me for a hug. They say I’m the best doctor.”
You giggle “That’s cute. I am glad they have you.” “There’s that pretty smile and laugh. But it’s me that is glad to have them. They are like my little siblings.” “I love that for all of you.”
You two just sit there holding each other until Boothill’s phone starts ringing. You start to pull away so he can answer but he stops you by keeping one arm around your waist. He pulls his phone out of his pocket and sees who is calling him. He mouths to you “Mr. Yang.”
“Hey, what’s up?” He listens for a bit and says “Yeah, I can do that no worries. The only thing I have to do now is feed the animals dinner, but I obviously can’t do that for a couple more hours. Will you be back for dinner?” He listens a bit more “Okay got it. See you when you get back.”
Boothill ends the call and puts the phone back into his pockets. “Mr. Yang is held up with meetings and they are going to run much later than everyone expected so he won’t be home till late tonight so it’s us and the boys. Speakin of the boys I gotta pick them up from school. Wanna come with? We can stop at a little bakery they love for a little treat for after dinner.”
“I would love to! I am really excited to see them and go to that bakery!”
“I’m glad. I hate to break our picnic up, but the boy’s get out of school in 30 minutes, and we live about 20 minutes away.” Giving a small chuckle.
“WHAT?!?!” You break out of Boothill’s grip and quickly clean up the picnic once you’re done Boothill grabs the basket and you two quickly walk back to the house. Once you guys are inside, he places the basket on the counter and go to grab his key from a small woven basket on a table in the dining room. While he does that you go grab your purse.
He leads you to his car and you realize it is like Welt’s pick up but a little higher. You walk to the passenger door and open the door. You try to figure out how to get up, but you feel two hands on your waist. “Jump darlin’. I’ll help ya.” You jump up a little and he lifts you up to be able to get in the car. Once you are in and sitting down, he shuts the door and runs to his side and jumps in.
He starts up the car and pulls out of the driveway. You think he is trying to kill you because he does the whole arm behind the seat head to look bad. You immediately start blushing again and this time he calls you out. “It seems like I got a knack for makin’ you blush.”
“Shut up… but yeah you do.” He gives out a deep chuckle. Once he’s out of driveway he turns on the radio. You guys sit in a comfortable silence until one of Boothill’s favorite songs play. He starts to sing along and tap on the wheel. You just stare at him and smile.
Once he’s done singing you start clapping. He turns to you and laughs “No need for an applause sweetheart.”
“You deserve it! You are really good at singing. Do you do it a lot?”
“I like to do it in my free time. I’ll play guitar or a harmonica along with it.”
“REALLY?! You’ll have to play for me sometime.” “I will, I promise.” You smile and you pull up to the school and park in a spot. You see the boys waiting by a group of girls. The boys see Boothill’s car and walk up to it with the girls in tow. Boothill hops out and talks to the group. You see Boothill shake his head and pull out his phone. It looks like he is sending a message.
He comes back to the car, “Hey we have to take the girls home. These are the girls the boys and I have talked about. They are our next-door neighbors.”
“Okay sounds good but how are we all going to fit?”
“The middle cup holder can pull up for a middle seat. We will have Dan Heng sit up here since he is the most responsible. Then the girls and Caelus will sit back there. They are tiny so they can fit in the three seat back there. But don’t worry I’ll make sure Pom Pom and March are buckled up together.”
You nod your head and let him get the kids in the car. He first does the group in the back and makes sure they all are buckled. Then he comes over to your door and gets Dan Heng in. Dan Heng climbs over you to get into the middle seat. Boothill then hops back into the driver side. He checks his phone really quick and smiles.
“Hey girls. So, we planned to take the boys to the bakery for a treat. Miss Himeko said it was okay to bring you girls along. Would you like to go?” The girls all screech out a yes making everyone go deaf for a couple seconds.
Boothill starts to drive away and then the girl with light pink hair asks “Mr. Boothill, who is this girl.”
Boothill says your name, “She is Mr. Yang’s niece. Remember the girl we all were talking about coming to live with us from now on? Well, this is her.”
“Ohhhh yeah, I remember.” The girl repeats your name, so you turn to look at her. “It’s nice to meet you. I am March” she points at the girl next to her with black hair “This is Pom Pom” then points to the other girl with pink hair “This is Rappa.”
“It’s nice to meet you girls. I have already heard a lot about you.” The girls give a giggle and then proceed to talk amongst themselves. You turn to Dan Heng and ask how his day was. He looks up to you and says “It was boring. I knew everything already.”
Boothill laughs, “You say that everyday kid. I know you’re the smartest in your class but is there not one thing that was exciting?”
“Lunch was fun with everyone, but the actual school part was uneventful.”
You laugh remembering that’s how school was for you, and you tell Dan Heng that. You and Dan Heng keep talking until you get to the bakery. Boothill helps the kids in the back first then comes to your side. You help Dan Heng first and then it’s your turn. He grabs a hold of your waist and pulls you out of your seat holding you tightly. Once you’re out of the car he sets you down on the ground. You turn to shut the door then all of you walk in.
Once you get in everyone greets the older lady behind the register. You stay a little bit behind Boothill not knowing how to respond in this situation and the older lady sees you hiding behind him. “Boothill, who is this? A girlfriend?”
You hide even more into his back, but he lets out another deep laugh that you love. “It’s not like that Granny Mae. This is Mr. Yang’s niece. I’m not sure if it told ya, but she is living with us now.”
You step out from behind him and give her a little wave. You introduce yourself, “It is nice to meet you. All your baked goods look amazing.” “Thank you, sugar. I am Granny Mae. My husband and I have owned this bakery since we were 20. I am 67 now. Hahah.”
“That’s incredible! I can’t wait to try your treats!”
She gives you a smile and turns to the kids. The kids already have picked their treat a range from cupcakes, cookies, and brownies. You turn to Boothill, “What are you going to get?”
“Get two of whatever you want. I’ve had everything here, but I want you to figure out what you like and want.” You give him a nod and walk over to the glass to look at the treats more in depth. You look and see slices of a strawberry tart and you know that is what you need. You go to tell Granny Mae what you want.
She puts all the goods into the register, you go to pull out your card. But you feel and arm around your waist. Boothill leans down to whisper, “Now what do you think you’re doing?”
“I was about to pay.”
“Not on my watch.” He then hands his card to Granny Mae who is looking at Boothill. She raised her eyebrow at him and he just smiles at her. She ends up deciding to grab all the treats first and put them in a box for you all. She hands you the box and you turn to Boothill. “I’ll go get the kids in the car so you can finish here.”
You and the kids head out to the car. You get them all loaded up into the car and then have to jump and pull yourself into the car. You are glad you had Dan Heng hold onto the treat box.
In the bakery Boothill finishes up paying, “You have somethin’ to say don’t ya Granny.” “Smart boy. Now what was that?”
“What do you mean?”
“You say you’re not dating but how she hid behind you, blushed when you talked about paying, and how you held her that is not just friends. I may be an old lady but don’t give me that shit.”
“Heh. A mind reader as always Granny. I mean we just met each other but jeez she is so amazing. She is so caring, funny, nice, and absolutely beautiful. I don’t want to scare her away by being too forward. So, I am going to go slow, I cannot mess this up. I am already nervous about opening up to her and showing her my past.”
“Boothill my boy, what happened to you was not in your control. No one had any idea that what happened would happen. It was a sad tragedy. She won’t be scared, how she seems it’s only going to make her want to be around you more. So go for it kiddo, I believe in you. You deserve to be happy.”
Boothill stands there stunned but clears his throat, “Thank you Granny. I’ll go for it, but I am still going to wait for the both of us.”
“That’s fine. But I better have a seat at the wedding.”
“If I get to marry her, you’ll be sitting front row closest to me.”
She smiles and clears the register. Boothill catches what she is doing but drops a wad of cash and walks out. “Have a good one Granny.” He gets into the car and starts heading back to the house. Once you get back you see a car in the driveway and a lady sitting on the front porch. March screams “MOM!” Everyone one goes deaf again.
Boothill pulls up and parks by the new car on the driveway and once again helps everyone out. The lady has also come down from the porch to meet everyone. The girls run up to her and hug her. Boothill and the boys walk up to her, and you follow them. You hear March talking about you and once you’re near the lady looks up from March.
The lady says your name, “You must be Welt’s niece. I am Himeko, his childhood friend and neighbor. It’s very nice to meet you.”
“Hi Miss Himeko, it is very nice to meet you. My uncle told me a lot about you when we would call and catch up.” “Awe, that’s sweet. Well, I don’t want to keep you guys up plus I have food in the slow cooker at home, so I am going to take these girls home.” “Wait! We got them treats, let me go put them into containers! Girls what did you get?” The girls say a chocolate cupcake, a brownie and a sugar cookie. You quickly run inside and grab containers to put the treats in. Once you have them all packed you walk back outside and had each girl their treat.
“Thank you for getting them a treat Boothill. Let me repay you.”
“Enough of that Miss Himeko. No need to repay me, after all you’ve done too, you’ll never hafta repay me.”
She gives him a smile and says goodbye to all of you. You and the boys turn around and walk inside. You and the boys take off your shoes, the boys put their backpacks up in their cubbies in the front entrance. Boothill puts his keys in the woven basket and turns to you guys “I gotta feed the animals. I’ll be back before dinner. Boys go get washed up then help her with anything she needs, got it?”
In unison the boys say, “Got it” and head upstairs. You and Boothill walk together but you head to the kitchen, and he heads back outside. You put the treat box in the fridge and then figure out what you want to make for dinner. You’re not sure what everyone likes so you wait for the boys to come back down with their input.
You hear them come back down and you turn to them and ask, “Hey is there something you boys would like?”
Caelus and Dan Heng look at each other and shake their head, must be a code sign. Caelus speaks up “Can we have pasta?”
“Yeah of course if we have the stuff!” You go look in the pantry and see pasta. You then go to the fridge and see chicken, cheese, garlic and cream and you are instantly hit with an idea. “How does chicken alfredo sound boys?”
They both nod their head, and you get to work. You season and cook the chicken while the pasta is cooking. Then you start on the alfredo sauce. You timed everything perfectly, so everything ended around the same time. You go to plate four plates and ask the boys to help you bring them to the table. You have the boys sit down while you go get drink for them. They both requested some soda so you get a can and pour it into a cup for them then get yourself a glass of water.
Just as you were finishing up Boothill comes back in and takes off his boots and hat letting his beautiful long hair show. You turn to ask him what he’d like to drink, and he says a beer. You turn and grab a beer for him and go to grab the other drinks, but he reaches for the beer and water and proceeds to walk to the dining room. Leaving you to grab the sodas and follow him.
You give the boys their drinks and sit down to begin eating. You and the boys dig in but after a while you see Boothill is just sitting there looking at the pasta. “Hey Boothill, can you not have chicken alfredo? I can make you something else.” “No it’s not that. It’s just the last time I had chicken alfredo, my mom made it. That was before the accident.”
“Oh my gosh Boothill, I am so sorry. I didn’t know. I am so so sorry. I should have asked you too when I asked the boys. You don’t have to eat it.” While you and Boothill were talking you didn’t realize the boys took their drinks and food to go eat in the kitchen to leave you two alone.
Boothill turns to you, “Darlin’ what did I say about apologizin’? This just makes me happy; I want to savor it.” He lets out a deep sigh and then turns back to facing the plate. So much for telling Granny Mae he was going to go slow.
“My family died in a house fire. My house basically exploded; my parents and unborn sister were in the house when it happened, and they died instantly. I got pulled out of school that day and went to the police station where they told me what happened. They asked me if I had a place to go and I said yeah but I really didn’t. I didn’t want to burden anyone or feel pitied. So, I stopped going to school and just wandered around. Then the night Mr. Yang found me there was an awful storm. He was out of town when it happened and didn’t hear about it till he got back. That was about a week of me leaving school and walking around. As soon as he got back, he looked for me. The only place that had cover was the school so I sat in the courtyard that had a gazebo to keep me somewhat dry. He got lucky because that’s where he checked first. He put his big coat on my body then walked me to the car under his umbrella. That night I cried about what happened. I sobbed and sobbed into his shoulder, not being able to stop until I basically passed out. He carried me to my room and has spoiled me ever since.”
He turns to you, “I know we’ve only known each other for a day but it’s a hard secret to keep when everyone knows. I just want you to know I’m not upset with the meal; I am blessed. So, thank you pretty girl.”
You start to tear up before you can wipe your tears Boothill is doing it for you. His voice softens “It’s okay. Let’s enjoy this meal together than we’ll eat those strawberry tarts together.” You put your hand on his that is wiping your tears, and you give his palm a small kiss. He gives you a smile then you both separate to eat your dinner.
After you guys finish, Boothill raves about how great it is and is excited for you to make it again. You guys walk into the kitchen to see the boys hanging out after finishing. You place your dishes into the sink and walk to the fridge to get the treats. Boothill grabs more plates and silverware for all you guys.
You decide to stay in the kitchen to eat the treats, so you give everyone their treats. Dan Heng picked a slice of cookies and cream cake while Caelus picked out a mix of a cookie and brownie. You all eat together talking about how great the sweets are. You see Dan Heng and Caelus only eat half of their treats before you can question it Boothill is talking.
“Shit. I forgot to get Mr. Yang something, boys if you want all your treats go ahead. I can go back and get him something.” “It’s okay Mr. Boothill, we aren’t that hungry because we ate like two more plates of pasta after our first one. Hahaha” Dan Heng explained to him.
“I see. But still, you boys are great kids.” He goes to put the treats back in the fridge while you start the dishes. All the boys join to help you, so it goes quicker. Once you all are done everyone is tired and calls it a night.
Over the next month and a half, a routine follows of you making breakfast for the boys while still having your alone time with Boothill. Then the other part of the morning is filled with doing some housework and still having lunch with Boothill when he doesn’t have tasks to do. Which is every day except for Monday’s, but you aren’t upset because you know he values his work. Then sometimes in the afternoon you go pick up the boys or you’ll do more housework or go shopping.
You did finally get Boothill’s phone number so finding him for lunch is easier. One day while you’re having lunch with Boothill he asks you if you would like to go to the bar with him and his friends. You obviously said yes because its more time with Boothill outside of the ranch but then you also can make new friends since you haven’t made many since you got here.
“So how many are going to be there?”
“Hmmm. Not sure, not everyone has responded if they are going or not. But right now, there’s, Argenti, Aventurine, Jing Yuan, Jiaoqiu, Feixiao, Moze, Sunday, Robin, Acheron, Swan, Ratio.”
“Whoa you have a big friend group. I never had that big of one even when I was in college.”
“There’s more but ya know everyone has their own life.”
“I am really excited now; I can’t wait for tonight. What time do we have to leave?” “Probably around 7. Don’t worry I’ll let you know at dinner.”
“Okay sounds good. Well, I’ll let you get back to work so you don’t have to cram anything.” Boothill still walks you back holding the picnic basket, so you don’t have to carry it. “See you later darlin’.” He gives your forehead a little kiss before walking away. It has become a routine for you for the past two week.
One time you were walking back into the house you hit your head on the door because you didn’t realize how off centered you were. Boothill heard it and turned around and gave you a kiss to make it feel better now he always just gives you a forehead kiss when he leaves to go back to work.
You finished all the housework so you would have time to get ready and figure out what to wear. Your main goal is to impress Boothill tonight. You lay out a couple dresses, but you ultimately decide on the black cocktail dress that shows off your curves perfectly. Then pick out a nice pair of red heels to finish the look. You then start of your makeup deciding to go light but still give a cute look. You mainly focus on your eye makeup with doing small black wing then throw on your trusty lengthening mascara.
You just chill in your room until you have to make dinner. Before you go down you spray some perfume on you. You go down to see Welt standing in the kitchen. Welt looks at you and tells you, “You look nice. But Boothill said you guys are leaving earlier so it’s me and the boys you don’t have to worry about making dinner.”
“Thank you. If I knew we were leaving earlier, then I would have made dinner earlier so you wouldn’t have to worry.” “It’s okay. I haven’t gotten to cook in a while, so I am happy. No offense to you, as you know cooking is calming.”
“Oh, I completely get it. If you ever want to cook let me know and I’ll let you do it.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.” You give him a smile then you hear steps coming down the stairs and Boothill comes into the kitchen. You pause and look at each other. Boothill looks very handsome. He is wearing a pair of dark blue jeans, a white t shirt, a black leather jacket and some cowboy boots that are not covered in mud. You want to tell him how handsome he is, but it is kind of weird doing that in front of your uncle. You relent and it looks like Boothill is in the same predicament.
“Ah perfect. I was lookin’ for you. Sorry I forgot to tell you about leaving earlier I got busy with the horses and didn’t have a chance to text ya.” “It’s okay, we can leave if you’re ready.” “Let’s be off then.” You follow him and grab your purse on the way to the front door. Boothill leads you out and to his car. Before he helps you into his truck he turns to you, “Finally I can say this. You look absolutely incredible, you’re like a shooting star. So bright, radiant, and I can’t keep my eyes off of you.” You instantly blush and smile “Thank you Boothill that is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. But you look incredibly handsome, I can’t keep my eyes off of you.”
“Thank you, darlin’. Let’s head out. We are going to be the last ones there… whoops haha.”
Boothill goes to help you up into the car then walks over to the driver side to get in. He pulls out and drives to the bar. The bar is only about 10 minutes away. You guys pull up and park and see that the bar is packed. But that’s what you expected since it is a Friday night.
Boothill helps you down but doesn’t let you go far as he keeps an arm firmly around your waist. You walk in and see Boothill look around to see his friends. He finds his big group in one of the big corner booths so you two walk over there.
Everyone cheers when they see Boothill and someone with long red hair says, “Oh look who finally decided to join us after two months.”
Boothill stiffens a bit, so you turn to him “Boothill what does he mean?” The guy with the red hair answers for him, “Boothill has turned down our weekly meetings for the past two months.”
You are still facing Boothill when you ask, “Wait have you been saying no because you wanted to stay at home with us?”
“Yes exactly. Guys I know I told you this last time I came, but I guess I hafta repeat myself.” Boothill introduces you, “This is Mr. Yang’s niece. She is the one that moved in with us, so I’ve stayed to hang out with her and everyone else so we can get into a routine and to help her feel more comfortable.”
The red head instantly pales, “OH MY GOD. HOW COULD I HAVE FORGOTTEN!!! Boothill I am so sorry. This beautiful lady deserved your time more than we did. Let’s enjoy the night and make her feel even more comfortable.”
Boothill sighs and turns to face you, let me introduce you to everyone. He starts with the red head and goes in a circle. So, if you have it right it’s; Argenti, Aventurine, Jing Yuan, Jiaoqiu, Feixiao, Moze, Sunday, Robin, Acheron, Swan, and Ratio. Robin makes room so you both can sit. You sit by Robin and Boothill to your left.
Argenti feels bad for judging Boothill so he declared that he would buy your guys’ first drinks. You decide to go simple and get a glass of wine since you don’t really like beer. Then Boothill asked for a beer.
The booth is a bit stiff, so Boothill switched from having his arm wrapped around you to putting his hand on your thigh while rubbing his thumb back and forth. You listen to conversations until Robin turns to you to talk to you. “Hi. Let’s talk, I feel bad not talking to you. So, you’re from the city? Why did you move out here if you don’t mind asking.”
You hear Boothill stiffen because he doesn’t even know the answer. “No, I don’t mind. I just didn’t really have a support system out there. My parents passed when I was still young, so I moved into the city to live with my grandma, but she also died a couple years after, so I was supporting myself since I was eighteen till now until I moved here. It was too much to do on my own so my uncle said I could come out here. I don’t work though; I feel bad though for taking advantage of everyone.”
Before Robin could reply Boothill grabbed your thigh to have you face him and countered, “You are not takin’ advantage of anyone. We are glad you are here. I am happy you are here. I am sorry you had to go through that, but I am here now so are the others at home. You will never be alone again.”
You smile and put your hand on his, “Thank you Boothill. The same goes for you.” Argenti comes back with your drinks then conversations flow between everyone. Boothill finishes his beer and wants another one. He gets up to go get another one, but he sees you haven’t finished yours, so he tells you that he is going to get another drink.
You turn to Robin to chat with her more, “Oh shoot, I forgot to ask Boothill about the Fall Festival. I’ll have to ask him when he gets back.”
“Robin, what is the Fall Festival?”
“Oh, it’s an annual big festival the town hosts! It is actually in two weeks. We always go as a group and Boothill always performs. He has done it since the incident because music became his therapy. Sunday and I went to high school with him, and he knew I sang, and Sunday played many instruments. So Boothill asked Sunday to teach him how to play guitar and asked me to teach him how to sing. We taught him and he has performed a song ever since.”
“That sounds so fun! But I didn’t know that there was a festival coming up no one at home has talked about it.” “Maybe he’s keeping it a secret to impress you. He seems into you.” “I sure hope so because I really like him.”
A voice cuts you both off, “Well if he was maybe he wouldn’t be talking to all those girls at the bar.” You see the guy with purple hair say that and you think that’s Ratio. You and Robin turn your heads to see a bunch of girls all over Boothill touching him and getting all in his personal space. You must have physically shown your heart break because Robin tries to cheer you up.
“Don’t worry about it that happens all the time, but he always rejects them. Right Ratio?” As she gives the man a dirty glare.
“I guess so but if he was so into her, he would have pushed them all away.” Robin looks like she is about to kill him, but you respond, “I guess you’re right Ratio.” You look at both of them almost in tears. Did Boothill not mean what he said earlier? Were you reading too much into everything. All you want to do is go home and curl up in your bed and cry. You reach out and down the rest of the wine you had.
Robin can tell you’re about to cry so she calls your name and asks, “Do you like to dance?”
“Oh yeah, I do.” “Perfect!” She stands up and tells you to stand up. Once you do you get out of the booth with her following then she grabs your hand and drags you to the dance floor. You two face each other and just let out all the energy you guys have while singing along with the songs.
Boothill gets back to the booth and gets a little worried that you’re not there, but he sees Robin is gone so maybe you two went to the bathroom. He is annoyed though because those girls at the bar wouldn’t leave him alone no matter what he did. Your presence really calms him, so he settles with just waiting till you came back.
“So Romeo, how was the bar?” Boothill turns to Ratio to see him deadpanned. “Shut up, I don’t want to talk about it. Plus, I don’t want any of them.” “That’s not what your little girlfriend thinks.”
“What?”
“Ugh Ratio can you not stir up trouble. Boothill, she saw everything and looked like she was about to cry. She got really sad and thinks you’re not into her. But it’s thanks to this guy because he twisted her thoughts.” Aventurine said.
“Ratio, what the fuck did you do to her?”
“I just told her ‘If he was so interested in you, he wouldn’t be entertaining those girls at the bar.’”
Boothill saw red, “You’re fucking dead.” Sunday saw all of this unfold but he goes to hold Boothill back while Aventurine scolds Ratio.
“Boothill stop. There’s something wrong.”
Boothill snaps his head back to look at Sunday, “What do you mean?”
“Her and Robin went to the dance floor because Robin wanted to cheer her up. I have been watching them to make sure they were okay, especially Robin. But this guy keeps bugging her and won’t leave her alone. So go make up for this misunderstanding and help her.” Sunday lets go of Boothill once he realizes Boothill is more focused on finding you now.
Boothill looks around and sees the big guy trying to get close to you and he sees red again. He walks swiftly over there to help you.
You and Robin are having a great time dancing and singing. It is really helping you calm down from this whole Boothill situation. You’ll definitely have to get Robin’s number after of this so you can thank her and ask if she would like to be friends.
As it gets later the music get dirtier and more people come to the dance floor. You and Robin get a little closer to one another, so you don’t separate because she looks a little worried about losing you in the crowd. But you feel the same since you don’t know anyone here and haven’t seen Boothill since that whole bar situation.
You and Robin keep dancing then this guy comes up behind you and grab your waist. You know it’s not the hands you love so deeply so you instantly wiggle out of the grasp of the guy. You turn around and tell him you’re not interested. But he leans close to you and all you can smell is the beer oozing off of him, and it makes you want to gag.
“Come on darlin’, dance with me. You wouldn’t have worn that dress if you didn’t want some attention.”
“I didn’t dress for attention, and I am not dancing with you. Please leave me alone.” You try to turn around, but the man grabs your shoulder.
“You whore don’t turn away from me. You’re dancing with me right now.”
All you want to do is cry again. You feel so powerless. Then you feel a warm and familiar arm wrap around your waist.
“Call her a whore again and you’re dead. Now let go of my girl before I beat the living shit out of you.” His voice was so much deeper than you have ever heard.
The man instantly lets go and stumbles out of the bar. You turn around quickly and bury yourself into Boothill and he holds you tightly to him. You guys just stay there for a little bit until Boothill starts to sway you two to help your shaking. You start to calm down and hear the music again. You hear the songs are still as dirty as they were before. You then have an idea.
“Boothill, do you like to dance.”
“Not really, but if it’s with you, I’ll do it.” You turn around in his arms and he instantly moves his hands to your waist and pulls you closer to him. Your butt is pressed against him and you two start moving in tune with the song.
Boothill leans down to whisper in your ear, “Darlin’ just so you know, you’re the only girl I have my eye on. I tried pushing those girls away earlier using my words because I am never going to lay my hands on a woman. I know what it looked like wasn’t the best but luckily, I was saved by the bartender kicking them out. Like I said earlier, you are captivating. I cannot keep my eyes off of you. You are breathtaking.”
You turn around again to wrap your arms around his neck and press your forehead against his. “I’m sorry I overreacted; it’s just Ratio did not help the situation. But I am glad I am the only one in your eyes, because you are the only one in mine.” You guys smile at each other and sway more until you realize something, Robin! You loosen your grip on Boothill and start looking around and Boothill gets worried.
“Boothill where is Robin?! She was with me, and I didn’t want to separate from her because I didn’t want her to deal with a creep too!!” You keep frantically looking around. But Boothill grabs your chin lightly, “She’s back at the table. Sunday was with me, and he grabbed Robin while I came to help you. She’s fine and safe. Why don’t we head back to the table?” You quickly agree and Boothill goes to wrap his arm around your wrist to keep you by him. You guys arrive back at the table, and you see Robin and call out to her, she turns her head while you give her a hug. You apologize to her about the whole thing, but she quickly assures you there is nothing to apologize for. You and Boothill sit back down with his hand going to your thigh again.
You all start chatting again, you and Robin also exchanged numbers. Robin turns to Boothill and asks, “Are you performing at the Fall Festival?”
“Oh yeah I am.” You turn to him, “Really?! What song?! Can I hear it before you perform it?!”
“Sorry darlin’ but no. It’s your first Fall Festival, I can’t spoil one of the biggest parts.” “That makes sense. I am really looking forward to it.”
“Me too.” The conversation keeps flowing but you find yourself getting more tired, so you start leaning on Boothill. He turns his head once he feels the weight of your body on his, “Tired pretty girl?” You nod your head. “Okay we’ll head out then.” You get off of him so he can stand up. Once he’s up he reaches for your hand and helps you up.
He turns to everyone announcing your departure, so everyone bids you two a farewell. Boothill leads you through the bar and once you are outside you instantly get cold. As if Boothill sensed it he took off his jacket and put it on you. You slide your arms through the sleeves and snuggle into the collar because it smells like his cologne.
You also didn’t realize how far you two parked until he points to the car in the distance, “Ugh that’s so far and my feet hurt.” Boothill didn’t respond but he walked in front of you and bent down so he can give you piggyback ride. Once you get onto his back he sets off. You set your head on his shoulder and close your eyes.
You almost fell asleep on the walk to the car but once he opens the door you are awake again “Sorry I didn’t mean to wake ya.” You shake your head in response. He helps you up into the car and runs over to his side. He pulls up the middle like he did when Dan Heng sat up here and pulled you closer to him. “Go ahead and sleep again.” You go ahead and lean on him while he drives.
You don’t even know you arrived back at the house until you hear Boothill lock the front door. You call out, “Boothill?”
“Shhh. We are home, I’ll carry you up to your room.” You snuggle more into him enjoying his warmth. He walks up the stairs to your room making sure not to bump you against anything. He opens your door after asking if he can, still being the gentleman he always is. You tell him yes and he sets you down on your bed. He goes into your bathroom and grabs some makeup remover and a small towel to take your makeup off. Then goes and grabs you some pajamas from the drawer you told them they were in. He sets them gently on your bed and walks over to where you are sitting.
“Thank you for a fun night darlin’. Seeing you dressed like that and getting to dance with you was amazing.” “You’re welcome Boothill. I also had a great night. You were so handsome and dancing with you made me really happy. The happiest I have been in a while.”
“Now that makes me happy. Goodnight baby.” He presses a kiss to your forehead then separates from you and walks to your door. You quickly stand up and call out to him. He turns around and you walk to him. You stand on your tippy toes and press a kiss to his cheek. “Goodnight Boothill.” You both separate and smile at one another.
He gives you a little nod then leaves your room while you go and change into your pajamas. You then go to wash your face and brush your teeth really quick. Once you’re finished you hop into bed and see Boothill’s leather jacket at the end of your bed. You forgot to give it back to him, so you’ll just have to do it in the morning.
You reach down for the jacket and pull it under the blanket with you so you can cuddle with it since you can’t cuddle with its owner right now. You get all giddy thinking about Boothill. You then think that you are in love with Boothill.
No, you don’t think you’re in love with Boothill, you know you are in love with Boothill.
Since you were so tired last night you did not set an alarm for the morning, you realize this once you wake up and see that your bed side clock is showing it is 9:30 am. You jump out of bed and rush out of your room to run into something again.
“Whoa darlin’, what’s with the rush?”
You really have to stop ramming into Boothill, you definitely have given him many bruises because of this habit. “Boothill! I am so sorry. I ran into you again and I forgot to set an alarm, so I didn’t get to make breakfast for everyone.”
“No worries baby. Welt and I took the boys to the bakery to pick out doughnuts to surprise you with. Plus, the boys found out your favorite fruit are strawberries, so they are down there cutting them up for you. You deserve a break every once in a while.” He goes to cradle your face in his hands, “You do so much for us, now let us do something for you.” He lightly pulls your head toward him to give you a little peck on your forehead.
You pull apart from him and give him a big smile. “There’s your pretty smile. Let’s head on downstairs.” He goes to grab your hand, but you release it. He turns to ask what is wrong, but you tell him to stay right there and run back into your room. You go to grab his leather jacket and come back out to hand it to him.
“Nah, keep it. I have bunch of them, plus you look better in it than I do.”
“Are you sure? It’s nice, I feel bad keeping it.”
“Ain’t no problem with keeping it darlin’. I want you to have it.” Giving you a small smile and giving you a pat on the head. You go back to put his jacket in your room then come back out searching for his hand.
You two walk downstairs and see Caelus and Dan Heng jumping out yelling “Surprise!” You giggle and let go of Boothill’s hand to give both boys a big hug and thank them. You sit down and see Welt come into the dining room with cups of coffee for the adults and chocolate milk for the boys.
You all eat and talk occasionally, until Dan Heng brings up the Fall Festival. “Mr. Boothill since you are performing at the Fall Festival, you’re going to be a lot busier, aren’t you?”
Boothill lets out a sigh, “Yeah, you’re right there kiddo. Most of my free time will be practicing or spending time with Robin and Sunday for their help with my performance.”
“I see, I can’t wait to see your performance again. Can you make sure we are in the front row again? We can’t see you if we aren’t. Also tell Miss Robin and Mr. Sunday I say hi.” “Trust me, all you guys are in the front row. I’ll let you get access to it before everyone else can enter the performance area. And I’ll tell them you say hello.”
You smile at the interaction, but it all clicks in your head now. You won’t be seeing much of the guy you’ve grown to love for the next two weeks. Your guys’ relationship has changed since last night but now you guys won’t have time to really talk about it. You get upset at the thought, so you remain quiet the rest of breakfast.
Boothill instantly sees the change in your mood and all he wants to do is hug you. He wants to walk over and tell you everything is completely fine between the two of you. He knows there’s a shift between you two and all he wants to do is capitalize upon it. Damn it all, he wants is just to kiss you senseless and hold you so close, so you don’t have to doubt anything.
Boothill knows he’s in love with you. Which is why he needs to make sure this performance is perfect.
The next couple weeks passed by so slow to you. You barely saw Boothill, and it breaks your heart. Your pillow has seen a lot of tears about this and just as it feels like the universe was out to get you, his jacket doesn’t even smell like him anymore.
You have texted Robin a bit because she was telling you some drama. Apparently, a big rumor is going around about Boothill finally settling down and having a girlfriend. She explains this started the night after the bar when you guys were dancing. Then people apparently also saw him carrying you to his car in his jacket.
Great, in a new town you’re already in the drama circle. Just, great.
At least the festival is tonight so his free time will get spent with you again. You are excited to see him perform though. You don’t know what he is performing because any time you get close to him while he practices, he stops playing. But you heard from him that Robin and Sunday are going to be on the stage with him while he performs.
You decide to stop moping around and get ready tonight so then you can also help the boys get ready. You decide to go with a brown jean dress with a black turtleneck under it. You throw on some tights to help keep your legs warm since it is getting colder out. You then put on a light brown scarf to top off your look.
You decide on doing the same makeup you did for the bar, and you quickly put it on. You decide to curl your hair as well. That ends up taking more time than you like so you put on some perfume then go to find the boys.
They are sitting on the couch playing Mario Kart on the Nintendo Switch. “Hey boys, let’s get you guys ready so we can leave once Boothill is done working.”
They finish their race then turn off the consol then the T.V. You all walk upstairs into their room. “Okay you guys can pick what you want to wear, but if I think you need more layers, I’ll have you pick out more to wear.” They nod and go to pick out their outfits.
They both picked flannels and blue jeans. You have them wear an undershirt to make sure they stay warm. You leave their room and walk back downstairs to put on your boots that match the color of your scarf.
You walk into the kitchen to see Boothill drinking some water. He sees you come into the room and looks you up and down giving a soft smile. “You look as beautiful as ever baby.”
“Thank you Boothill. You look handsome as always.”
“Darlin’, I am just wearing what I normally wear. Just my nicer flannel options.”
“No matter what you are wearing you always look so good.”
You give each other a smile. You walk over to him and give him a hug, “I missed you Boothill.”
He returns the hug and kisses your forehead, “Trust me baby, I missed you more than anything.”
You hear footsteps coming into the kitchen, so you guys separate but don’t go too far from one another. You see the boys walk into the kitchen with the added accessories of cowboy hats and boots. Like this they look similar to Boothill.
You giggle look at them, they both look so proud and confident in their outfits. “Now what is this?” Boothill looks at both boys, “It looks, like you guys are my copies. You both look so good.” While pushing both of their hats down. They both complain at the action but laugh at Boothill. “Well let’s head out gang. Mr. Yang went to pick up the girls so Miss Himeko wouldn’t have to worry about driving, so you lot are with me.”
The boys walk out first, and you follow behind. You go to grab your purse until you feel a hand on yours, “Now darlin’, no need for that. It’s on me tonight.”
“But- “
“Ah, no buts. Now let’s go.” He grabs his keys and leads you out the door. You all get to Boothill’s car, and he helps everyone gets in. Boothill hops in and states, “I am lowering this damn truck.” He huffs and shakes his head. You and the boys just giggle at his inner turmoil.
You guys set off and head to the festival. It’s a short drive, and parking is easy because Boothill is performing. You all get out of the car and head into the festival. You see so many things; festival games, many food stalls, and people selling little trinkets.
Boothill speaks up “Where do you guys wanna start? You guys hungry?”
You all realize that you guys are hungry and decide to start with the food. Boothill sees there is a soup stand and decides to have you all eat there. Boothill tells you guys to go find a table while he orders. You guys find a table to sit at close to the entrance of the stall.
After about 10 minutes of you and the boys talking about all the games they want to play, Boothill comes back with four bowls of soup and water. He got you all homemade chicken noodle soup. You all dig in and realize that the soup is helping you warm up a little bit.
It doesn’t take you all long to finish eating. Once everyone is done Boothill cleans up and leads you guys to the games. Boothill pays for an unlimited game pass for the boys. You and Boothill watch while you also take photos of them. Then end up winning most of the games they play and now have arms full to prizes.
Once they get to the ring toss, they turn to Boothill and say its his turn. They go on to explain to you that Boothill never loses at this game. You see Boothill walk right on up to the stand and gets 3 rings. He gets in a little stance then throws each ring back-to-back each getting each one on the bottles. You and the boys cheer for him. The worker of the stand asks him to pick him prize. He turns to you and beckon you to come over. “Pick whatever one you want darlin’.”
You look at the prizes and see a teddy bear that is white with black accents, and it instantly reminds you of the man standing right by you. You tell the worker which one you want, and he goes to grab it for you. Boothill speaks up “Hey that one looks a lot like me.” “Yeah. That’s why I picked it silly.” He snaps his neck to look at you. He is speechless but ends up letting out a deep bark of laughter. The worker returns and hands you the teddy bear while wishing you guys to have a good rest of your night.
The boys had their fill of games and are now getting hungry again. They ask you and Boothill if you guys can get funnel cake. You and Boothill agree and go to find the funnel cake stand. Once you guys find it, Boothill goes to order a big funnel cake. You and the boys wait at a standing table for him.
After a couple minutes Boothill comes back with a big funnel cake and napkins. You watch the boys excitedly rip into the funnel cake while you and Boothill calmly eat it. Once the funnel cake is finished Boothill cleans up once again.
You guys walk out of the eating area you were in and end up running into Welt and the girls who are also with Robin and Sunday. Caelus calls out to them, and they all turn their head. Robin and Sunday rush to Boothill, “There you are! We have been looking for you everywhere, we have to get ready.” “Oh shit. I am sorry. I’ll catch up with you guys.” He turns to you, “Hey can I talk to you really quick.” You give him a nod and he grab your hand and drags you to behind the stalls.
You realize he is shaking, “Hey Boothill.” You grab his other hand, “What’s wrong? Are you nervous?”
“Eh yeah, you can say that. I just can’t fuck this up.” “Fuck what up?” “Everything. Listen, this song it’s for you. I am nervous as hell for this. So please just focus during the song, okay?”
“Boothill, please take a deep breath. You aren’t going to fuck anything up I promise. I also promise I’ll focus during the song.” You go on your tippy toes to give him a kiss on the cheek. Once you’re back on your feet he pulls you into a big and tight hug.
“Thank you, darlin’.” His gives you a kiss on your forehead then separates from you. “I got to go now; I’ll see you after the performance.” He walks away and you go back to find the boys and girls.
You guys walk around a little more until you feel your phone go off.
Boothill: Hey, bring everyone to the performance area. I can bring you guys in now. I’ll wait out front for y’all.
You tell Welt and Himeko; they make sure they have all the kids. Then set off to the stage. As you walk you start to get a little nervous. You never saw Boothill so nervous before and now this song is supposed to be for you? It’s too much to think about so you distract yourself with trying to listen to the conversations going on within the group.
The group gets to the area Boothill told you to bring them too, and he brings you guys in. He doesn’t stay long though. The kids give him high fives while the adults wish him luck. He turns to you and gives you a smile then goes backstage again.
It is about another twenty minutes until everyone starts coming in to fill up the rest of the area. It gets crowded really fast. This is not helping your nerves, but you steel yourself because this is important to Boothill.
After another ten minutes pass then Boothill, Robin and Sunday come out on stage. They all take their places having Boothill being front and center. He grabs a hold of the mic and taps it before speaking.
“Hello everyone. Thank you for coming out once again. The song I am about to sing is for someone special, so I hope you enjoy.” You then see everyone in your group turn to you smiling. Then it clicks, “YOU GUYS KNEW!?” Everyone nods and smiles, great now you know you’re really in for something.
Boothill takes a deep breath then begins.
Girl, you know I’ve known you forever
How many nights we hung out together
Same little crowd, little bar, little town
‘Round this old dance floor
My boys are laughing and tap me on the shoulder
Makin a motion like, “Could y’all get any closer?”
They wanna know what’s up why I’m still holding ya
Even when the song is over
Is he talking about the night at the bar? When you guys danced together? Oh god you don’t know if you can take this.
There’s a rumor going ‘round about me and you
Stirring up our little town the last week or two
So tell me, why we even trying to deny this feeling
I feel it, don’t you feel it too?
No way he is talking about the rumor Robin brought up. Well now you really don’t have any doubts this song isn’t about you. But yes Boothill, you feel it too. You want him so bad it hurts.
Well, I can shut ‘em down, tell ‘em all their crazy
No Boothill, please don’t. You want the rumor to be true.
I can do whatever you want me to do, baby
Boothill, I want you to be mine. You look at him and as if he sensed your answer, he looked down at you and gave you a little wink.
Lay one right on me right now
We can really give them something to talk about
Boothill, I have wanted to kiss you since the pond. Please.
He sings another verse, and you are so captivated by him. This is nothing like the nervous Boothill you saw before. He looks like he is having fun. He looks so happy. So ethereal. He is nothing like any other guy. He is the standard, because what guy sings a song like this to the girl he is interested in?
He looks right down at you to sing the next verse.
Oh, be honest girl now
Do you wanna do this or not?
You eagerly shake your head and mouth “yes” to him. He gets all happy but continues to sing.
Should we keep ‘em talking girl
Or should we just make them stop?
You shake your head no because you want everyone to know you are his.
Boothill starts singing the next verse but he’s jumping off the stage? The stage is a good distance from the crowd, so he does have a good distance to walk.
There’s a rumor going ‘round, about me and you
Stirring up our little town the last week or two
Oh, tell me why we even trying to deny this feeling
I feel if and you feel it too
He is now right in front of you smiling down at you
What d’you say we make it true, yeah?
You hear the crowd roaring but you two are only focused on each other. The crowd can’t even hear your answer back to him because of how loud they are cheering.
“Boothill, I want nothing more than you. I want you and I will always choose you.”
“Darlin’, I want nothing more than you. I want you and I will always choose you.”
Come on over here
Let’s really give ‘em something to talk about, baby
Boothill drops the mic and grabs your face with both of his hands and pulls you into a deep mind-numbing kiss. Your hands go to rest on his chest. The kiss feels like it lasts forever. The cheers only got louder once he kissed you.
You two separate and he smiles down at you, “I love you baby.”
“I love you too Boothill.” He pulls you into a tight hug and the only thought you have is that you are finally Boothill’s girl.
tags:
@jassy-ine
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✨Surprise! ✨
I'm launching a new story for my dark cream ship kids and co ^^
I usually don't warn before the first part is done but I thought Mimosa's birthday was a good day to announce it!
A Tear's Soul!
I already showed that drawing (hehe it's the cover) but now I can talk about it ;3
The project is gonna a mix of comics and writings (because I'd burn myself out trying to do full comic when I'm not very experienced in those... They're hard, ok?)
Sooo it's gonna take me a while........................
Even if I try to shorten it as much as possible (10 parts unless problems)
I think the ones who'd be interested all know how my projects usually go, it's not gonna be a cute, fluffy story uwu. It'll have some fluff tho promise, but angst is part of the journey here! I'll give warnings each time I feel it's necessary :P
So!
If it interests you and you wish to be tagged on it, tell me now and you'll be tagged in each update :D
[I had to compress that gif, it was too big XD]
#me doing artz#minz gif#that gif took me so long honestly#A Tear's Soul#Mimosa#for once I'll write that story in the present timeline#dark cream ship kid#me yelling surprise as if I didn't know it's gonna interest only max a handful of persons#still for them#I hope I won't take too long to finish it tho#currently drawing the first comic: I want to set the whole background concept on fire#oh also I'm not full coloring#just a solid color with some stuff colored if important#and I'm not trying to get something perfect out#otherwise I would not succeed#so don't expect something beautiful?
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your Kon post was sooooo good, like yes the core four are queer platonic, however Kon is hypersexual enough to have made out with (or more) everyone in young justice at least once, yes, including the non-corporal Greta don’t ask me how that worked
I love all of these posts!!! how many of these ask game things do you have in your inbox??
thank you so much!! and i ABSOLUTELY agree with you on hypersexual Kon (truly i just adore characters with grooming/rape trauma like Kon coping through the lense of hypersexuality) and even if YJ is queerplatonic, Kon has made his way through most of them. including Greta. he's creative he'd find a way. probably involving TTK. bc TTK in sex is a thought i have daily. endless potential for using it to basically turn someone's body into a living fleshlight he can manipulate from the inside out- specifically have a TimKonBart idea in my head about that where Kon coaches Bart through sex, since Bart is a speedster with a bonkers refractory period who struggles to feel satisfied, and Tim is caught between them getting used to get Bart off with Kon using TTK to manipulate Tim's body. fun times. fun ideas.
currently, i have one more ask game ask in my inbox (tho always feel free to send more!) that's BruJay focused. though i *do* also have a couple other asks that are just ideas i pan to use as prompts for full fics. just haven't gotten to those yet bc i'm currently busy with packing to move states so. i have *not* had the time to write i wish i had. i will not reveal too much but one involves JayTim fucking during the Titans Tower incident, another is JayTim with animal traits leading to porn, and then another is Tim/Kon/Jon with incest kink stuff. so! i have many things planned, i just need to settle into my new place, however long that takes.
#necrotic answerings#kindly praise#this was so sweet aaaa#i'm about to go to sleep so the brujay ask will be held off until tomorrow#but i will get to it#and i *hope* if the tim/kon/jon fic is short enough i can *possibly* get it done tomorrow too#i'm. mostly done packing. i just have to get my clothes and books in boxes.#i do not have *any* idea how much time i'll reasonably have to write once i move bc#well i'm moving in with my sister to help take care of her baby so yk. baby. sort of more important than fanfic.#but i mean it's just a baby so i figure I'll still have some time#see the real question is not will i have time to write tomorrow#it's will i emotionally be available. i've been crying on and off for days. pls.#i truly will let the ask game go on as long as ppl keep sending them. i do not mind i'm having just as much fun as y'all#tho i might reblog some other ask games just to spice it up a bit#i gotta find some fun ones#still plan to do a prompt list to write ficlets for the drive#3 days in a uhaul with my parents. def won't lose my mind at all no sir.#they will try to kill each other and I'll be the damn witness.#also when i say queerplatonic. i do include fucking.#it's the aromantic in me i think. but queerplatonic couples can fuck as a treat.#i will not elaborate on how that works. i'm just an aro lil guy who thinks sex isn't always about. the sex. and more about. the closeness.#none of my friends agree with this take they think i'm unhinged btw.
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me when i write a character who is prone to dooming themself and then they run off and doom themself. core traits are stubbornness and a willingness to disregard their own humanity gET BACK HERE IM NOT DONE WITH YOU
#rambling#surprisingly this is not about jakob.. im just really consistent about my favorite character archetypes 😭😭#WARNING THE NOTES ON THIS ARE REALLY LONG I STARTED RAMBLING#“ouhh i have a headache i'll just lie down and rotate my blorbos in no general direction for a while until it goes away” and then boom.#serious plot considerations. 2 questions answered 24million new questions raised. this is specifically Not what i asked for.#so now im sitting here STILL dizzy running mental calculations on how i can get this bitch out of peril without reworking everything#but they literally keep dying in every timeline 😭😭 every single plausible road leads to them running off and screwing themself over#“character who doesn't realize they want to live until it's way too late to look back” VS#“character who is forced to live and handle the things they never though they'd survive long enough to deal with” FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT.#fucking hell i have never had this much trouble writing a character as i have with them#they genuinely do just run off and do shit without my permission and then i have to pace for an hour or two wondering#“ok they wOULD do that. but should they. do i feel like i can confidently write that.”#im like constantly in this tug of war trying to get them to CHILL#but also they are absolutely my favorite character from the entire project. but like. FUCK GET BACK HERE#is death the most satisfying end to this arc? is someone who was Set on dying then NOT dying the most satisfying end to the arc?#how many bridges can you burn until you irreparably set yourself aflame too?#would ghost or revival plotline work?? would it make sense with the worldbuilding??#do i just Like Them enough to want them to not die?? where do i draw the line between personal bias and a good arc?#is death not feeling as impactful as survival solely because i've been writing for so long that it's lost the initial impact?#and other such plot considerations...#im gonna have such an easy time writing another character though 😭😭 because THAT character's dynamic in the second act#is to stare at character 1 and be like “why are you like this. i mean i know Why but can you chill. please.” and like damn bro me too#actually wait no i think kaey.a is the hardest character i've ever written i take it back#had to worry about his 20million facades AND his Actual feelings AND canon compliance. shit is hard#i still havent finished the k/aeya fic i started back when the chasm first released which is uhh. two years ago. oops.#i think i struggle writing emotionally repressed liars i think thats what this is 😭😭 anyways.#(voice of guy who has been obsessed with nonlinear narratives and tragedies for several years):#“is it too much to kill this character in a nonlinear exploration game with tragic elements”#like bitch what are you talking about 😭😭 YOU'RE the target audience here figure it out#sorry the notes on this are just my writing journal now apparently
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🤧🐀🌧️🌊
#need to clear my head;#im in such a bad mood. my face is in a perpetual angry state. im just so so bitter nd pessimistic rn#trying not to get stuck in negative chaos thought spirals nd to just take it as it come#nd be patient bc recovery takes time i know. but i havent been able to feel healthy or functional for 7 months nd i am so tired#i cant help but worry abt my health nd what kinda diet i can have nd how to work all of that out.#like the removal of the gallbladder dont ensure a good digestive system. they remove it bc it can irrepairably hurt u#also im so so stressed out abt school nd my courses. i already had to drop one last week. nd it isnt looking like i'll be able to pass my#eng class.. it just isnt looking like it's realistic at all :/ i personally dont mind if i fail. but i can get issues w my wellfare hmm#bc like im still feeling rough nd u only get sick leave for one week after surgery.. so i have to go on thursday nd friday but im gnna#be in pain plus be so hungry nd be unable to concentrate idk#idk idk!! im already willing to take out loans to finish my upper secondary school.. but i have to make it work w timing nd stuff so im not#sitting here unable to pay rent or the bills or food lmao. so idk have to fix it somehow#nd the pressure of this country rapidly declining state is stressing me tf out!! having nazi conservative rightists in the ruling is just#dreadful!!!! for many reasons but atm idek if i can do distance classes like i wanted to ://#i just.. wanna be able to go for my long walks. go to the gym. eat normally. have coffee. study nd finish highschool.#then apply for whatever program i can nd move to another calmer city. prob eventually find a path to move to another country. like norway..#im thinking too much but my thoughts are spinning nd killing me like i cant stop it im so scared nd anxious lmao 💀#im also trying to be brave and write to the psych clinic for personality disorders nd be upset nd 'beg' them for help ksksksks.#but like... the thing abt having avpd is that i kinda dont wanna bc im scared of the possibility of them helping me lol#im just in a low place nd bad headspace and it's just getring worse nd im getting more nd more tired#i dont have much more energy to keep it together nd pretend like im ok or like i have hope lmaoooo idk what to do#anyway... idk idk guess i just gotta .. keep crawling forward anyway i can
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I feel like November will be a difficult month for me again and I'm not looking for it
#morningtalks#Something about the specter of madness haunting me and kinda breathing down my neck right now#I barely coasted off a full mental breakdown by being utterly mad about a friend's dad being an abhorrent piece of garbage#And then watching a two hour long video essay as I played Little Kitty in a Big City (very neat game btw)#But I'm still in this odd ''close to a breakdown but not yet'' mood and I hate it#I hate how I'm starting to be good at knowing when I'll be out of patience and general stability for all the shit I deal with#I'm getting tired of having to be extra careful because my periods have a tendency of making me Even More unstable#I hate how easily I now know that if something triggers RSD or another one of my problems (and I've got a lot of them)#I'll definitely need to take one day off (at least) to do some damage control on how all-consuming and painful the reaction will be#I hate that I can feel that a month will be hard and being CORRECT about it#I just want to live in peace for once in my life. Is that really too much to ask?#And my friends help me a lot. I would be dead if it wasn't for them#But it's still so hard and I'm still so afraid and I still despise so many things about myself#And the guilt and hatred and shame that was wracking me the entire week has been horrendous to live through#And I know it's a fully irrational reaction#But I still feel all these things. All these thoughts still run around in my head. It is so horrible to love through all of this#I'm not going to commit suicide. I promised myself I never would and I'm too spiteful to do it now#(also. Very fun that one of the main reasons I'm still alive is spite. This world fucked me up yet I'm not leaving until I say I'm done)#But my intrusive thoughts will be really brutal this month I fear. I might genuinely have some vicious moments#I'll just try to have a low-stress weekend and just enjoy my time for myself#I can maybe try to write some stories (I say knowing how much trauma will be in there lol)#Or just do anything to not be alone with my thoughts too much#We'll see how this month pans out. I don't have a lot of faith in it but I could be surprised. Who knows?
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I do find it so funny that I will graduate college days away from my birthday. Like my birthday is literally in between the end of the semester ("graduation") and commencement
It really will be like a joint graduation & birthday party for me lmao
#speculation nation#i dont really do birthday parties anymore. havent in a long time. mostly just go out and do smth fun around my bday. ya kno#also have cake but like not in a party way. just like. here's cake lol#but im probably only gonna graduate from college once. which means i might as well live it up and all.#invite all sorts of extended family and people who have known me. etc etc.#actually it just kinda sunk in that i am. Computer and Information Technology (Systems Analysis and Design focus) w a minor in Communication#like those are words. it's a lot of words but actually it really is pretty accurate?? like that's indeed what ive been studying.#now how much i *remember* is another question. considering how long ive taken to get thru school lol#but that's what people will see on my degree. that's my Thing. graduated in Computer Systems and Talking.#idk it's just weird to have spent so much of my life on this and like That's the culmination. it took so much work.#even beyond a normal 4 years. i switched my major *twice*. switched my minor too.#first year engineering to undecided liberal arts (as a temp major trying to switch to computer science bc i couldnt stay in FYE)#but then computer science sucked so i switched to trying to get into computer & info tech. which is different. and better.#and ive been in it long enough now that ive kinda forgotten but it did take some fuckin work to switch into it.#like i had to take certain classes first & i couldnt take them during the semesters that in-major students would take them#and i had to have my gpa up to a certain level etc etc. so many hoops to jump thru. i think it took me at least a year. or more. idr#but i made it in and thats my major. thats my thing. computers and information systems and communication.#doesnt FEEL like im an almost-graduate. but then i think about all the things ive taken and learned.#and maybe i dont remember a lot of the more specific things from these classes. but i took core lessons away from each one.#wont be able to recite the theories but i can live them. and thats the point of an education i guess.#anyways im gonna have to start job searching before too long and eughhbb. need to get my license first tho probably.#which i will... i will.... i have so many things to deal with... my life will be So Different in a year...#it will require me to put in the work now. but i can do it. and then a year from now. i'll hopefully be in a better spot.#living somewhere else. graduated from college. with a license and a car. maybe even an IT job of some kind.#kind of scared of trying to find a Big Boy Job. aka a job that requires a degree and networking and all that shit.#rather than just showing up and being like Hi i can do this job. i am not a total drain of a person. hire me please 👍#hfkahfks so many things to think about. and through it all i am still dealing with DEADLINES...!!!!#but yeah this is why my writing has largely been put on hold. idk i have a lot of things im dealing with rn.
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.
#the problem with writing an old mond fic that I'm trying to explore Topics with is#it has dwelved from 'I want to write about why Amos stuck with Deca for so long and the messed up love between them'#to. oh boy. googling the life of the last emperor of china of which I am morbidly facinated with.#(terrible spineless self centered coward of a guy. treated as god since age 4)#(but also general chinese emperors and royalty who all really sucked and basing deca and amos both on a lot of that)#to general little morality things bc. its a story of how amos was complicit/supportive of terrible things under deca but still joined rebel#to. reading about the causes of revolutions???? and writing that into old mond's inherit instability and why nb's revolution worked#into now. attitudes on the ethics meat consumption of bc amos is a hunter who grew up outside of old mond and its culture#and forced into old mond's culture (<- my backstory for her)#which also has implications of Amos having to struggle to reconcile her heritage culture with the one she has to live in now#........and though it I keep forgetting that the initial thing I wanted to explore is deca/amos Problematic(tm) love#which means the plot is now a dredged down mess I'll have to fix in a second draft#......uh for anyone who thinks this sounds interesting. no promises on it actually getting finished or being good#this has spirled way out of control from its initial inception#but ya know all art has a political slant to it and boy nothing says political like 'story about revolution' so we'll see how this all goes#(this is also why I don't write fic or stories often lol I take its ideas too seriously and it completely consumes me until I finish it)#personal //
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