#i'll put it on ao3 when it has a title

[holysupesbatman]

SuperBat Fic Recs

Woaaaah boy. I was in the Superbat tag and saw someone asking for recs and I got about 5 fics in before I realized that wouldn't fit in a reply and decided I should just make a whole post. I feel like I've read half of the Bruce/Clark tag on ao3 at this point and yet I still find more every time I look.

As a note, this post is heavily editorialized. These are all fics I've personally read and are here because I liked them and they come from my ao3 bookmarks. If you want better details about the fic, follow the links and check them out 🤷‍♀️ I'm a picky reader so the fact that it's on the list says a lot, though our tastes may vary.

Onto the recs! I'll organize them by ratings and then by length for simplicity and at the end I'll recommend some of my favorite SuperBat authors for further reading!

🦇

Rated: G

Uno Reverse by WixenBurr (~7k rated G) is really cute and fluffy

Summary: The batkids are trying to set Batman and Superman up. Unfortunately Bruce Wayne wants to date some rando news reporter named Clark Kent.

Rated: T

Know You Better by rotasha (~6k rated T)

super fluffy and cute. I adore this fic. Summary: Clark asks Bruce on a date, not knowing he’s a famous billionaire. Bruce says yes, because this is the first time this has ever happened to him.

I'm Not As Think As You Drunk I Am by Mardiaz173 (~13k rated T)

This one is SO much fun – Nobody believes Clark after he meets the supposed "flirty, stupid, entitled drunk" playboy billionaire Brucie Wayne when he says he's actually "clever, mischievous, and sober with an indecipherable ulterior motive."

Saudade by liodain (~20k rated T)

OK THIS ONE MAKES MY HEART MELT IT'S SO FLUFFY AND SWEET I CAN'T. Like put this on your re-read when you're sad and need to feel like love and goodness exist list. Bruce breaks down in Kansas in 2006 years before BvS and meets young Clark.

fallin' for him was like fallin' from grace by Resacon1990 (~23k rated T)

It's just 20k of Clark simping for Bruce. That's it. That's the fic. He's a golden retriever and he's in love, Your Honor. Bruce is not unaffected, but the pining is glorious.

summary: Or, five times Clark finds himself falling for Bruce, and the one time he does something about it

Mr. Romantic by Pandamomochan (~24k rated T)

ft Established Relationship SuperBat. Summary: Clark gets tasked to write a Valentine's Day article. The end result has every single women throwing themselves at him. Clark has always been patient with the drove of Brucie fans. Will Bruce be as mature with Clark's sudden popularity?

How to Date a Superhero by @solomonara (~25k rated T)

Technically a series of fics. Pure fluff. 1. Someone spots the Batman kissing Mild Mannered Reporter Clark Kent. Hijinks ensue. 2. Superman kissed Bruce Wayne in full view of several dozen phones. Now the whole world, including Lex Luthor, knows Superman has a boyfriend. But that's okay. Batman has a plan. 3. Deleted scenes from the How to Date a Superhero series, ruthlessly cut in most cases to prevent the Robins from taking over.

In every sense of the word by froggy-o (bobafiend) (~29k rated T) From the author's summary: Alternatively titled "Why Wonder Woman is on the verge of losing her fucking mind."

I swear this fic is just Diana's eyebrow twitching as she watches Bruce and Clark start dating and she's let in on both their civilian identities meanwhile Superman and Batman are on the watchtower arguing and disagreeing about basically everything on the daily. In the name of Justice, of course. The identity porn is on a whole other level and it was done so well.

Get Over It by rotasha (~32k rated T)

heh this one has plenty of identity hijinks. Sooooo funny. Summary: Bruce needs to get over his inconvenient feelings for Superman and he meets an attractive reporter who he thinks can help him do just that. Little does he know...

the cost of being a good dad by Mawiiish (~96k rated T)

hehehe... the batkids set up a dating profile for Bruce and catfish Clark. It's more of a blind date for Bruce (not that he had any idea he was going on a date at all), but who has Clark been texting for the past several weeks??? Oh yeah. The kids. What follows is as follows. Still with capes!

Rated: M

Guardian Dog by BombusBombus (~22k rated M)

Summary: There's something wrong with Clark Kent. He has to be a villain, right? A threat? He doesn't behave like a normal person, no matter how handsome or clever he may seem.

grasp his heart (once and for all) by liodain (~32k rated M) soulmate AU fic. Pretty emotional LOTS of identity issues going on there like so much. Kinda high on the drama and angst there honestly but it was a cute read. Summary: Bruce Wayne doesn't believe in fate.

tell all the truth (but tell it slant) by susiecarter (~33k rated M)

love me a fake dating AU. Summary: It takes a while for Batman and Superman to work things out, once Clark comes back from the dead. Pretending to date each other in order to explain why Bruce Wayne and Clark Kent are in the same place so often? Doesn't help as much as you might think.

Strangers When We Meet by Trista_zevkia (~63k rated M)

ANOTHER soulmate AU! This time feat. Kryptonian Biology hehehe. Summary: Clark Kent thought he was straight, until Batman kick started something. The question is what did Batman start? Is Brucie Wayne able to explain it to him?

ship-to-ship combat by pomeloquat (~77k rated M)

OK NO LISTEN this is one of my all-time favorite fics EVER. It's so meta and so funny. Clark is us. We are Clark. Clark is writing RPF for the Bruce/Batman ship and he's very convinced it's real EVEN THOUGH he has a huge crush on the Batman... let the hijinks BEGIN.

Rated: E

Embracing Destiny by Mithen (~8k rated E)

This one is just really really cute. Summary: As a member of the Legion of Super-Heroes in the 31st century, a teenaged Clark learns a stunning secret about his own future: he and someone called "Batman" will be legendary lovers.

perfect strangers by susiecarter (~15k rated E)

like. bruh. susie did it again. This tag says it all: communication failure. I love this one though. Summary: Batman and Superman are fucking. Bruce Wayne and Clark Kent are a great cover for fighting crime, and also might be dating. Bruce and Clark have no idea what they're doing; but they definitely aren't going to be able to talk themselves into stopping.

Relinquishing Control by foxyk (~25k rated E)

afsfwsdfhishdfksj no words. Read the authors summary and then just go read the fic:

Superman worries that if he lets go he'll injure his partner. Batman knows better. Batman worries that if he lets someone else in, he'll hurt them. Superman knows better.

Picture Perfect by TheSaltiestDog @the-saltiest-dog (~26k rated E)

this one is cute and then horny on main but also just so fluffy. Clark sees Bruce in a new light through candid shots, then proceeds to take lots of candid shots as they begin a relationship. Cue schmoop, fluff, smut, and – you guessed it! –Miscommunication!

A Night Off and sequel A Day Off by Mawiiish (~37k combined; first part is E, second is T)

One of my all-time favorites. My bookmark says 10/10 would read again soooooooo... 👀🤷‍♀️��🥵

Bruce is enjoying one of his few nights off when a very persistent young man offers to buy him a drink. At first he's apprehensive; he's just here for a good time and this Clark seems to be looking for more than that. Then again, what harm can one drink do?

Clark wakes up to an empty bed and despite Bruce being honest from the start, he's still disappointed.

The Downsides to a Secret Identity by liodain (~42k rated E)

I'm currently reading this one – the summary from the author says it all, it's so good but sooo drama:

Bruce Wayne has taken a shine to Clark Kent, but Clark is more interested in the Bat of Gotham. The Bat, however, has it in for the Superman in a big way. Clark should probably have considered that before falling quite so hard. They're working together to track down some missing Kryptonian weaponry, after all...

50 Shades of Wayne by susiecarter (~161k rated E)

No but listen, this is actually so full of plot and emotional depth and not as much smut as you might think. It's a full-scale retelling of Batman v Superman but without them knowing each other's secret identities. I read it in one go... the reveal? Maybe the best I've ever read. Soooo many emotions. It's one of the few times I've read BDSM in a fic and it actually felt in character. I wasn't sure I would read it when I started, but it was a compelling read and extremely well done. Honestly, I'd read it again.

SuperBat Author Shoutouts:

susiecarter @susiecarter

liodain @liodain

Resacon1990 @sassyresacon1990

shipyrds @burins

Mawiiish @superbattrash

rotasha

Mithen

[joelscruff]

feelings on fire (joel miller x f!reader) 18+ PART ONE

"trying to play it coy, trying to make it disappear"

⚠️ new series alert! ⚠️ and also my 1k follower celebration!!! (altho it might as well be the 2k celebration now considering how fast my following has grown. thank you ;-;) i polled my followers a little while ago to choose between 3 different fic premises and this one was the winner! it was originally meant to be a stand alone but i'm actually more interested in making it a brand new series, so i hope you guys enjoy! i'm not exactly sure how many parts this will be yet, i'll let you know when i do. title and lyrics are from 'bad liar' by selena gomez.

summary: you're back from college for the summer, staying with your devout catholic parents in your childhood home while they order you around and try to keep authority over you. as an act of rebellion you ask your new neighbor mr. miller to teach you how to play guitar, but it turns out there's a lot more he wants to teach you. (no outbreak, no use of y/n) rating: 18+ explicit (minors, do not interact) warnings: (for this fic in general) age difference (reader is in her 20s, joel in his 50s), innocent/inexperienced reader, dirty old man joel, corruption (but it's consensual), praise kink, dirty talk, general smut, mentions of religion (reader's family are very catholic) -- (for this chapter) wet dreams, mentions of masturbation. word count: 5k ao3

The sun is warm and pleasant on your bare skin as you lay out in the freshly mown grass of your backyard, absorbing the heat and smiling languidly despite the humidity. You're grateful for your family's wealth on days like today, knowing that at any moment you could take a few steps and dive headfirst into the cool water of your pool, fresh and inviting. It's been about a month since you returned and you've spent almost every day outside among the green grass, the chlorinated water, the burning Texas sun. It's been heaven.

The backdoor suddenly swings open and your father's voice booms out into the backyard, "Family meeting," he states, loud and serious, "Five minutes."

Or hell.

With a groan you slowly sit up, hands digging into the thin towel laid out beneath you. You know better than to ignore an order like that. Being back from college for the summer has certainly had it's perks; no annoying roommates, no loud parties, a large backyard and pool to yourself, but having to deal with your parents again certainly isn't one of them. You'd thought coming back after three years might have softened them a bit, lowered their guard, made them less strict. Instead, it's almost had the opposite effect.

You slide into your flip flops and walk begrudgingly inside the house, making note of your mother standing anxiously by the stove with her arms crossed. What's the issue now? At least once a week your father calls these "family meetings", which always pertain to you and only you, seeing as you're their only child. Last week they'd spent half an hour berating you about forgetting to put the garbage out, the week before they'd tried to explain the importance of an early bed time to you, like you were seven.

You're a grown woman, a full fledged adult. Sure, you're only twenty one, you're unemployed, you're currently in the process of obtaining an arts degree that probably won't secure you anything tangible in the real world, but you're an adult nonetheless. You only have one year left of school before you can leave all this behind and start fresh somewhere else. You'd thought coming back home for one more summer would bring nostalgia and happiness, a few months of normality before life exploded in front of you.

Turns out your parents had pictured something different.

Your father gestures toward the kitchen table, urging for you to sit. You hate when they do this, make you feel small and childish while they both stand above you and reiterate rules they've had your whole life, rules that apparently you'll never grow out of. You wonder what rule you've broken now.

"We've noticed that you barely leave the house," your father begins, voice deep and authoritative, "We were under the impression that when you came home you'd be spending time with old friends, doing some volunteering again."

"Going to church," your mother adds beside him, a frown permanently etched on her face, "You've only gone twice since you've been here."

Call the cops, you think to yourself, forcibly holding back an eyeroll. Ironically your father is a police officer, and you highly doubt he'd ever come if you called.

"Instead, you just spend all your time in that backyard," he continues, nodding along with your mother, "We didn't invite you back to simply laze around all summer, there have been clear expectations you're not meeting."

You take a deep breath, feeling a hint of anger and stubbornness burning in the pit of your stomach. You shove it down, back to that secret hiding place you've cultivated throughout all these years of having to deal with them.

"I'm sorry, dad," you say, trying to sound as earnest as possible as you look to him and then your mother, "Sorry, mom."

"Sorry doesn't cut it, we need to see action," your father replies quickly, brow furrowed, "No more lounging around in the backyard on weekdays, that's a weekend activity from now on, we clear?"

You nod, "Clear."

"We want you to get involved in something," your mom takes a step forward, places her hand awkwardly on your shoulder, "Why don't you call Bethany? She's always looking for more helpers at Sunday School, or maybe Alice? I hear she's been volunteering at the soup kitchen for the summer."

You haven't spoken to either Bethany or Alice since you left for university three years ago. The thought of calling them, let alone having to work with them in either setting, makes you feel ill. You nod again, pretending to agree.

"That sounds good, I'll call them tomorrow morning," Both of your parents smile, appeased, "I think I'll go for a walk now, if that's okay. Clear my head, think about things I can do to improve."

"That's the spirit," your dad says, wrapping an arm around your mother, "Remember, be back before dinner or the door will be locked."

"I know," you nod, forcing a smile, "I won't forget."

--

Well, that's it, then. You'll have to leave.

It sounds dramatic to say that your parents telling you to get off your ass is enough to send you packing, but it goes so much deeper than that. You've spent your entire life doing everything these people say, nodding and smiling when you're meant to, apologizing for everything, doing anything you can to appease and impress them. You'd spent your high school years in youth choir, church group, organizing fundraisers, studying your ass off, tutoring, joining as many extracurriculars as possible until you had no free time. And even then, nothing ever seemed to be enough for them.

When you'd left for college they'd both cried at the airport, held you in their arms and told you with sincerity that they'd miss you so much. Your mother had kissed your face and held your hands and your father had hugged you for the first time since you were eleven years old. And because of their sudden burst of emotions, of affection, you'd actually missed them once you left. You remember you'd cried on the plane, scrolling through pictures of them on your phone until the battery died, thinking to yourself that maybe they weren't the horrible, authoritarian people you thought they were.

They called you once a week while you were at college, asking for updates, telling you they missed you, giving you neighborhood gossip that made you laugh and feel nostalgic for home. Being away from them, it was like they suddenly became two entirely new people, bonded together by their suddenly empty nest and seemingly trying to do right by you now, even if it felt a little too late. You'd thought about coming home a few times for a visit, but the memories that triggered the anger in the pit of your stomach kept you from doing so. You'd kept them at arm's length until you felt ready to come back.

And now you're back, and nothing has changed. They're the same people they always were, expecting too much of you, thinking they can control you, never quite believing that you're trying your best. You'd told them before you came that you just wanted to relax this summer, spend some time at home, maybe meet up with some old friends - keyword being maybe - and they'd seemed totally on board with the idea. There had been no mentions of keeping busy, no mentions of Sunday School or soup kitchens or rules. Then you'd arrived and realized how stupid you'd been to believe that they could ever change.

Your entire life you've been their perfect girl, their A+ student who volunteered and read bible verses and tutored the neighborhood kids, sacrificed your happiness more times than you can count for the sake of keeping them satisfied. But that's the thing: they're not satisfied, and they never will be.

Your flip flops smack against the concrete of your suburban street, sun beginning to set in the distance as you think about how exactly you're going to escape this hell. Yeah, you could just walk out the front door without a word, but it's not like you have anywhere to go or the money to do it. You have your plane ticket for your return flight back to school, but it's not 'til September and it's under your father's name. Your family might be wealthy but none of that wealth has ever gone directly into your pocket, and you doubt it ever will if you just bail on them in the middle of the night with no warning.

Your thoughts scatter when you hear someone call out your name nearby. Your head swivels and you see one of your neighbors, Mrs. Lillard, waving from her front porch. You wave back, give her a small smile.

"How's college treatin' ya?" she calls to you, taking a sip from a bottle of beer, "Got a boyfriend?"

Your cheeks warm immediately and shake your head, "Not yet!" you call back.

"I bet you're battin' 'em all away," her voice is slurred and you're sure that's probably not her first beer of the day, "Nobody's good enough for ya, huh?"

"I guess," you say awkwardly, continuing to walk and hoping she won't ask you to join her for a beer, "How's your husband?"

"Pain in my ass," she responds with a grunt and takes another swig, "Bet you can't wait to have your own white picket fence, perfect as you are."

Her words make you uncomfortable but you just give her your signature fake laugh and flip your hair, waving again, "Bye, Mrs. Lillard."

Your face falls as soon as you turn around, anger burning again. You've spent so much of your life being the picture perfect little suburban girl, doing everything your parents say, saying your prayers and reading to the elderly, killing yourself to get straight A's and only speaking when spoken to. Your reputation is widely known around the neighborhood; the sweet little girl, the pure and innocent God fearing angel. You've portrayed yourself as that girl for so long that you almost don't know which part of you is real anymore.

You keep walking down the street, eyeing the sunset as you go and wondering what would happen if you just didn't go back home tonight. As your father had said, he locks the door every night after dinner; you don't have a key, you've never had a key. You're only allowed into your house on the basis of trust and good merit. If you just refused to go back tonight, how would they react? The thought of doing something like that sends a warm flush of rebellion across your skin, eyes bright with intrigue. But where would you go?

You turn the corner and your nose is suddenly hit with the delectable scent of a barbecue, smokey and delicious. You slow a bit, closing your eyes and breathing in the warm air, stomach growling. You suddenly realize that if you don't go home tonight you'll also miss dinner. Another rule broken. You keep walking, trying to follow the scent like some kind of bloodhound. Maybe you know whoever's cooking and they'll invite you to eat with them.

A few houses down you start to hear the sound of music. There must be a party going on, a birthday or some other special occasion. It's only as you get closer to the sound that you realize it's not being played from a speaker or stereo, but from someone's front porch; a real guitar, live and acoustic.

You approach the house in question and see a man sitting on his front step, guitar in hand as he strums a steady tune. He's looking down, watching his fingers, monitoring his movements, but you see dark brown curls with hints of grey peppered throughout, a stubbled jaw line and curved nose. You slow your speed, furrowing your brow as you try to place him. You're not sure you've ever seen him before.

His music is calm and inviting, a plucky sounding tune that seems vaguely familiar. You're suddenly filled with intrigue, trying to place the song and slowing to a complete stop in front of the house without meaning to. You watch the man's callused fingers pick away at the strings, fast and professional, like he's been doing this for years. He probably has.

You're still trying to place the song, biting your lip and swiping through songs in your mind like an invisible rolodex. Johnny Cash? Bob Dylan? It sounds like one of those songs your parents would forbid you to listen to as a kid, the ones with devil worship in their lyrics, sung by bad men who didn't believe in God. You'd always questioned this logic, wondered how songs about living out in the country or falling in love could be inherently against your religion. They didn't even listen to it, just blindly told you it was against the rules.

Suddenly the man stops playing and you realize the song has come to an end. He looks up then, notices you standing there at the end of his walk with your furrowed brow and flip flops. His eyes are brown, expression startled at first but then fading into something softer as he gives you a small smile.

"Been there long?" he asks, voice crackling slightly, like he hasn't spoken much today.

You shake your head quickly, "I'm sorry, I heard you playing and I-"

"S'alright," he replies strumming his guitar absentmindedly and giving you a shrug, "I don't mind an audience."

He's southern, definitely a Texan, but you're sure you've never met him before. His face and voice are unfamiliar to you, but certainly not unwelcome. He's older, probably in his 40s or even 50s, but he's handsome and slightly boyish in a way despite his greying hair and freckled skin. He reminds you of one of those men on album covers your father had slammed down one day in the record store when you were nine, yelled at you in front of everyone that the men who made that music were filthy sinners. It hadn't stopped you from listening to them, though, curiosity getting the better of you.

Is that who you're looking at now? A filthy sinner?

"You okay?" he asks slowly, tilting his head. You realize you're just staring at him, gathering your thoughts.

You shake your head again quickly, feeling yourself blush under his gaze, "Sorry," you repeat, "I'm uh, I was just passing by and I heard you playing that song. It sounded really familiar."

He gives you a crooked smile and a nod, "Tangled Up in Blue, Bob Dylan."

"I knew it was Bob Dylan," you say, a satisfied smile spreading across your face. That song was from one of the albums you'd listened to in secret, one of the only times you'd had to delete your browser history. You feel pride swell in your chest at the smile you elicit from the man in response, like he's recognizing a fellow music lover.

"Good ear," he continues to lightly pluck at the strings of his guitar, "You play?"

"Um, not really." It's a half truth but mainly a lie, you've never played in your life. You feel slightly disappointed in yourself and you're not sure why; it's not like you've ever felt any kind of urge to learn, especially considering your parents would've made sure you only learned appropriate songs. When would you have even found the time between all your extracurriculars?

"Well, it ain't difficult," he starts playing the song again, slower this time, "Pretty repetitive chord progression, room for some adlibbin' here and there once you get the hang of it."

You nod like you understand what he's talking about, suddenly lost in the way his fingers pull at the strings, make the music come to life out of nothing. His hands are big, fingers long and thick as they curve back and forth, up and down. It's hypnotic to watch. He stops again and looks up, catches you staring.

"How old are you?" he asks, raising an eyebrow.

You swallow, unsure what exactly the right answer is. Part of you wants to lie, tell him you're older than you actually are so he doesn't just see you as some bright eyed kid. This is the first person you've encountered since coming back who doesn't know who you are, doesn't know about your reputation. You could tell him anything, be anyone, and he'd take it at face value.

"I'm twenty five," you lie, but it sounds unnatural in your mouth.

He looks you up and down, eyes raking your body in a way you're unfamiliar with. Like a man. Like the way your roommates back in college get looked at, sensually and flirtatiously, being eyed up by drunk guys at the bar who only have one thing on their mind. You feel your heart begin to thrum quicker in your chest; is that really how this man is looking at you? This grown man, not a high school crush or a college fratboy, a real man?

"Sweetheart, we both know that's a lie," he says with a chuckle, eyes coming back to rest on your face, "I'd guess twenty."

You make a face, "I'm twenty one, actually."

He laughs again, putting his hands up in surrender, "My bad, twenty one."

You watch as he starts to strum once again, something new and unfamiliar. You listen for a few moments, eyes trained back on his fingers, watching him play.

"You wanna come in for a bit?" he asks, voice nonchalant, like he's asking you something completely casual.

And maybe he is, but the words make your eyes widen, your breath catching in your throat. The way he'd looked at you just then, laughed at your words, wanted to know your age... now he's inviting you into his house? You've never actually been flirted with before, not when it mattered, and you're not entirely sure if that's what's happening. But it feels like it, even though you can't imagine how someone like him could see anything sexy about a girl like you.

"...Why?" you ask quietly.

He looks up at you with another smile, still plucking the strings, "If you need to ask then maybe I read you wrong," he chuckles again, eyes trailing down your legs and taking in your short dress, the way it stops at your knees, "Now that I really look at you, maybe I'm talkin' to a good Christian girl."

"You're not," you say it too quickly, "I mean, I'm not. I'm not a good Christian girl."

"No?" he smirks, "Don't have a good southern daddy waitin' for you to come home? Momma waitin' with a pie in the oven?" he's not being serious but you feel your skin flush at the accuracy of his words.

"Maybe," you mutter, hand going down to touch your dress nervously, "But maybe I don't wanna go home."

He nods and stops plucking, licking his lips and thinking to himself. You have to admit, there's something about him that draws you to him, something masculine and new. He's much, much older than you but not in a way that creeps you out or makes you want to run away. You find yourself hoping he'll ask you to come inside again so this time you can give him the right answer, the one he wants to hear.

"You probably should," he finally says, then stands up on his porch steps and slips his guitar onto his back. The strap digs into his broad shoulders, accentuating his size as he suddenly towers over you on the step.

"Sh-should what?" you ask breathlessly, and you wonder if he can tell your heart race has picked up, see the thumping of your pulse in your exposed neck.

"Go back home," he says with a shrug, "I mean, if they're waitin' for you..."

"They're not," you say it with firm finality, shaking your head, "I'm twenty one, I do what I like."

He walks down the steps then, getting closer and closer to you until he's suddenly standing directly in front of you. His eyes cast downward, assessing your expression; you swear he looks at your lips and licks his own again.

"So would you like to come inside?" he asks again, peering down at you with a dark sense of desire that makes you swallow roughly, feel a light and steady thrum between your legs, "Let me teach you how to play that song?"

Here's your chance. Just say yes.

"N-no," you gasp, taking a step back from him, "Um, n-not today."

He smirks, almost like he knew that would be your response. He hitches his guitar up his shoulder and gives you one last smile before turning around and walking back up his steps.

"Well, I'm here if you change your mind," he calls back to you, reaching for the doorknob on his front door and peering at you with another side glance, still assessing you, "Would love to teach a pretty thing like you how to use her fingers."

You feel your lips part in surprise, an unfamiliar tingling sensation flooding your body as he gives you a wink and walks into his house, shutting the door behind him. You've still got that steady throbbing feeling in your underwear, something you've only felt a handful of times. You know what it is, you're not completely clueless, but you can't remember the last time it happened.

You take another step back slowly, heart still pounding in your chest as you stare at his closed door. Then you turn on your heel and speed walk back the way you came, flip flops slapping against the ground aggressively. You revel in the way your thighs rub together as you walk, soothing that ache.

Any thoughts of not going home have gone from your mind. You need to ask your parents who this man is. As soon as possible.

-

You get home right before dinner, giving yourself just enough time to formulate exactly how to ask your parents about the man with the guitar. You're slightly afraid that you might seem too eager, too curious, and that they'll see right through you; you can't imagine how they'd react to knowing their perfect little girl is getting butterflies over a middle aged man.

But that's what you have: butterflies. In your tummy, all over your skin, between your legs. Being talked to the way he did, being looked at the way he did, it's making you feel hot all over, itchy and uncomfortable but in a good way.

The last time you felt this way was during your first week of college, at a party you'd gone to with your roommate. You'd seen him across the room, tall and blonde, watched as he licked his lips and looked you up and down. He was gorgeous, an angel you were convinced God had placed at this party just for you. You felt that tingle between your legs, swallowed down the nervous lump in your throat and imagined what it would be like to be kissed by him.

Then he'd approached and you realized he'd been looking at your roommate the entire time.

Your mother is just beginning to plate the meal when you slip into the kitchen, taking a seat at the table beside your father. She serves you both with a smile and sits, then extends her hands to both of you.

"Bless us, O Lord, for these, Thy gifts," she begins quietly, and you quickly hang your head and close your eyes as she continues, "which we are about to receive from Thy bounty. Through Christ, our Lord. Amen."

"Amen," you and your dad echo, then begin your meal. Just the same as always.

"How was your walk?" your father asks.

Here goes nothing.

"It was nice," you say, nodding thoughtfully to yourself and hoping you sound nonchalant, "I said hi to Mrs. Lillard."

"We've been praying for her," your mom interjects immediately, "She's an alcoholic, you know."

Your mom stays on top of all the neighborhood gossip, part of the reason you feel she might know something about the mysterious man. With a nod of your head you continue, "And then I saw someone else, a man playing guitar on his front porch, but I've never seen him before."

"Oh, him" your mom rolls her eyes, "Mr. Miller. Piece of work."

Bingo.

Your eyebrows raise, intrigued, "How so?"

"Kindness, dear," your father says with a disapproving nod to your mother, "He's done nothing to us."

She sighs and shakes her head, "You're right, I'm sorry."

The conversation is definitely going somewhere but it's already taking a turn into dangerous territory; you're not one to question, to interfere or interject. Pressing them further might make them suspicious, but you have to know.

"What did he do?" you ask, trying your best to sound casual, "If you don't mind me asking?"

Your mother is about to speak but your father gives her a look, almost a warning. She closes her mouth and sits back in her chair, waiting for him to answer you instead.

"He didn't do anything," your father explains, "Your mother invited him for dinner and he declined, that's all."

"It's the way he declined," your mother sits forward again, voice curt and irritated, "He was very rude."

"Rude?" You can tell your mom wants to talk about it, dredge up something she hasn't been able to discuss for a while; you're surprised she hadn't already told you over the phone while you were at college.

"This isn't appropriate conversation for the dinner table," your father says sternly, and you're not sure if he's talking more-so to you or your mother, "End of discussion." As usual your mother folds in on herself, picking up her fork and starting to eat again.

"Your father's right," she says, though you know she doesn't really believe that, "Let's just eat."

You wonder what the man - Mr. Miller - could have said to make your mother react this way. It's not unusual for her to get stiff and bothered by people - it's pretty easy to push her buttons, actually, but the list of things that offend her is long and detailed. He could have said pretty much anything to set her off. The specifics are lost on you.

You resign yourself to defeat and eat your dinner, sincerely glad that the tingling sensations in your body have subsided. You do not need to be feeling like that with your parents in the room.

-

You dream about him.

It's muddled and confusing, taking place simultaneously back at college and in your childhood bedroom, but he's there. In both places, somehow. You're back at that first week of college party, but instead of the blonde boy it's him standing across the room, eyeing you up and down. But this time he doesn't go for your roommate, he walks over to you and looks deeply into your eyes, gives you that delicious smirk and brings his hands down to touch your waist. He's so big compared to you, so much older. He pulls you in with a strong grasp and holds you to his broad chest, runs his hands down your back.

Then you're both transported from the college party to your parent's house. You're on your bed, sitting next to him atop the covers and watching him play guitar. You watch his fingers, long and thick, hypnotizing you with their movements. He stops playing and brings one to your chin, tilts your head up to look into your eyes again.

"You're not a good Christian girl," he whispers in that southern drawl, breath ghosting across your face, inching closer and closer, "You're all mine, aren't you?"

You wake up with a start and immediately feel the dampness in your underwear, the butterflies back again with a vengeance as your pussy throbs and pulses. You've never felt anything like this before, grasping your chest and reaching for your bedside lamp in the darkness. You sit there in bed for a few moments, catching your breath and waiting for the feelings to vanish again, for your aching core to stop reminding you that it's never been touched, not once, even though you know it's absolutely begging for it.

With shaky hands you reach down and run a finger through your wet folds, shivering at the soft touch. You've never masturbated before, never had sex or anything else you've learned about from your friends at college. They'd looked at you with disbelief when you'd told them you'd never even had an orgasm; one of them had gone so far as to ask if she could give you one.

"No," you'd said curtly, "No thank you."

Now you sit on your childhood bed with your legs open and a finger pressed lightly against you within your underwear. You're not even sure what to do, where exactly to touch, how to bring yourself to completion. You're twenty one years old but you've spent your entire life being the good, pure, God fearing girl waiting for marriage like her parents taught her.

"Enough," you whisper into the darkness, "I'm done waiting."

You yank your finger out of your panties and lay back on the bed, switching off the lamp and closing your eyes again. You've already decided before you drift off that you'll be paying Mr. Miller another visit tomorrow, as soon as possible.

He told you he wanted to teach you how to use your fingers; you intend to make sure he does.

[eternalmoonlight18]

Please Please Please (Don't Prove 'Em Right) Chapter 2

Trafaglar Law x afab Female!Reader

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Summary:

You are the Heart Pirates' beloved cook and sniper. However, you were also an insufferable troublemaker who always seemed to get on Law's nerves. He swears he's going to get rid of you one day, but as much as he hates it, why does he find you fascinating? Was it because you reminded him of someone he was greatly fond of?

As your relationship with Law grows, he only hopes you don't fucking embarrass him. After all, he has an image to uphold as one of the Seven Warlords of the Sea.

This story starts off as short stories between (Y/N), Law and the Heart Pirates, then picks up into the One Piece canon timeline, starting from Punk Hazard. This is a slow-burn Law x Female Reader story!

Updates every Sunday!

Cross-posted in Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/57651295/chapters/146705491

Chapter 2: Soba, Warrior of the Sea

Chapter summary: Attempting to find blackmail material against your captain, you took a volume of Law's favourite comic series. The only problem is you misplaced it an hour later, and if you didn't find it, the captain was going to cut you up and throw you to the bottom of the sea.

Notes: Thank you for the love! I'm so glad y'all are loving this like I am! I'll make a taglist if more people are interested. And no, the title is not a typo and you'll find out why soon ;)

wc: 4k (hefty chapter this week!)

The Polar Tang smelt like fried eggs.

It was 7 am and Hearts Pirates were just waking up. It was a brand new day, and the crew were looking forward to seeing if they could dock on a new island. 

Ikakku made her way into the kitchen first, and she saw you cooking breakfast for the crew. You had your white jumpsuit unzipped with the sleeves tied around your waist. Your white tank top was stained with grease and was clinging to your skin due to sweat. 

She sat down facing your direction and rested her elbows on the table, with her cheek leaning on her palm. "Morning (Y/n)!" she greeted you.

You turn your head to see that Ikkaku has arrived. "Morning Ikkaku! Sorry I didn't wake you up, I knew that you wanted to help me today but you looked so peaceful sleeping," you said. 

Your crew-mate waved her hand dismissing the apology. "Don't even worry about it. I know you love being in the kitchen by yourself." She glanced at your exposed body. "Shouldn't you change and put your suit back on?" she commented.

You made an annoyed click with your mouth. "You know how annoying these jumpsuits are. I don't know why he insists that we can all do our jobs while wearing a white garbage bag as clothes. I don't care if he sees me like this and gets mad, I can't cook with this shit on." you complained. 

The girl behind you giggled, "Get mad? It's more like ogle your almost half-naked body. You know the captain has somewhat of a soft spot for you."

You scoffed. "Captain? We're talking about the guy who sliced me when he found that I put flour and bread in his rice balls?" 

"If anyone else did that, they would get thrown out of this sub." Ikkaku defended.

"Oh please. You know the captain is an emotionally constipated man who doesn't take a second glance at anyone."

"You'd be surprised our dear cook. I've seen Captain stare at you last month." Shachi interrupted as he walked into the kitchen with Penguin. 

"Shachi, that was because he was going to decapitate (Y/n) for smacking a loaf of bread on his head," Penguin corrected him.

"Oh..." he muttered.

You threw your head back in laughter as you remembered how you accidentally smacked the captain with a bagged loaf of bread because he was somehow caught in between the crossfire of you and Shachi arguing about stolen food portions. That day was the first time your head was separated from your body. 

The three crew-mates sitting at the dining table noticed how your cheeks flushed a light pink. They all grinned maniacally. 

"Were you thinking of the captain?" Penguin singsonged. 

You rolled your eyes as you placed a batch of fried eggs on a plate. "You know I don't have feelings for the captain like that."

"Aww, that's not true," Ikkaku whined. 

You continued to batter up a batch of pancakes and poured it into the hot pan in front of you. "Well, I can't lie the captain is good-looking. But I don't just fall in love with someone based on looks you guys, I would want to get to know the person before I would think about committing to a relationship," you explained as you flipped the pancake.

Shachi suddenly straightened his back in a sudden realization. "So you do admit that you find our awesome captain handsome! Why don't you try getting closer to him?" he asked.

You grabbed the plate of eggs from the counter and walked up towards your hungry crew-mates to place it on the table.

"I think the captain would rather eat bread than to get to know me. Besides, I know that he finds me insufferable, but that's because he doesn't know how to have fun. Now, who wants my special fried eggs?" 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was 10 am, and you just finished cleaning the kitchen and making the crew's lunch. You proudly put your hands on your hips as you scanned the area. You were a proud cook and proud of what you did. Your heart swelled in appreciation that you could use your talents and that your talents were well appreciated within the crew.

Unlike your 3 shitty brothers who always just shoved food down their throats without care. But that wasn't important.

You glanced at Bepo, the captain's favourite crew-mate (your assumption), finishing wiping the dishes clean. The Mink was always around the captain, so often that you swore that they were probably shower buddies. A mental image of Law and Bepo bathing together popped into your head. You stiffened a laugh. 

"(Y/n)-san, Captain wanted to request grilled fish and rice for dinner," Bepo said, interrupting your daydream.

You exhaustedly sighed. "Again? This is the third time we had that this week, I swear that my breath permanently smells like fish now."

The Mink turned around to you and lowered his head. "Sorry..."

You gave a halfhearted smile to your crew-mate. "Never mind that I can never get mad at you Bepo, you're one of the few people who help me around the kitchen. Tell the captain that if he wants his favourite dish he needs to come up and ask me personally instead of using you as a communicator."

Bepo profusely nodded. "I'll tell him right away."

As Bepo was going to leave, you stopped him. "Wait," you called up to him. The Bear stopped in his tracks. 

You put your hand on your chin and started to think. "I don't want to make that fucking grilled fish and rice dish again. What if I know something about the captain and I can use it to hold against him? That way I can never make those dishes ever again." 

Once your idea formed in your head you started to grin evilly and rubbed your hands together like a madman.

Bepo, seeing this unfold in front of him, started to get nervous. "Uh, (Y/n)-san? What are you doing? Why did you stop me?" he asked. 

You whipped your head up to face Bepo and walked up in front of him. Putting your hand on the side of your mouth like you were telling a secret, you started to ask, "You're pretty close to the captain right?"

Bepo flinched. "Uhm, yes?"

"And you know a lot about him right? Like his deepest and darkest secrets?"

"Well, I guess so?"

"So, if you tell me something about him, something that he doesn't want anyone to know, you'd tell me in exchange for, let's say, my special sushi recipe?"

Bepo started sweating and you smirked. You knew the Mink bear loved your special sushi recipe, and you knew he could not resist.

"(Y/n)-san... I can't betray the captain like that." he said. The poor bear sounded like he was trying to convince himself not to give in to your temptation.

"Oh? Well, that's too bad, I was going to also make Soba for tonight too, what a shame," you said with fake sadness.

Bepo started to whimper. If there was one thing he didn't play about, it was Soba.

The Mink started to whip his head left and right to see if anyone was listening in to the conversation. Then he leaned down to your level.

"Oh alright, but PLEASE don't tell the captain about this!" he harshly whispered.

You grinned as you crossed your heart. "The information is safe with me."

Bepo hesitated, then he quickly confessed, "The captain is a huge fan of the comic series Sora, Warrior of the Sea! He has a huge collection hidden in his library of books."

You leaned back in surprise, with your smile widening into a perplexed grin. "Our feared captain is a NERD?!"

Bepo frantically waved his paws at you. "(Y/n)-san! Please you're being too loud!" he begged.

You burst out laughing, bending frontwards while your hands were clutching your stomach. Oh, the information that you just obtained was your One Piece! You never expect your stoic and boring captain to be a huge fan of a children's comic series. And he collected the comics too? This was just what you needed to blackmail Law.

You quickly collected yourself from laughing too hard. "Good doing business with you Bepo, you can expect a very good dinner tonight." You said. You winked at him and hurriedly walked out of the kitchen.

"Oh man, what did I do..." he mumbled. 

Meanwhile, you were scouring around the Polar Tang to find Law's collection of books. While walking in the corridors of the submarine, you encountered Jean Bart.

"Hey, Jean! Where are you heading to?" you asked the big man.

Jean rubbed the back of his neck. "Hey (Y/n)! I'm heading to the infirmary for my annual checkup with the captain."

The statement gave you a green light. You were going to head to the captain's room to get your hands on those comics no matter what. It may be a big risk but if it means that you wouldn't have to grill fish ever again, so be it.

"Good to know! I'm just heading back to my room, I've been doing a lot of cooking today." You said it as an alibi. 

You started to walk past the man. Jean's head followed your direction. He looked confused. "But your shared room is the opposite way...?" he said, watching your form walk further away. 

You didn't hear the man. You were hyper-focused on sneaking into the captain's room while he was busy with medical examinations.

Eventually, you came across a double door. There was a sign on the left door that read Trafalgar Law. This must be it.

You slowly grabbed the handle of the right door and twisted it. Pushing the door open you slowly walked into the captain's quarters. It was clean and neat as you expected it to be. The captain was a clean freak, the complete opposite of what you dealt with in the kitchen. On the right of the room was a queen bed, with a nightstand on its left side. There was a decent-sized desk perpendicular to the doors which were filled with scattered papers. To the right of the desk was a tall bookshelf filled with all kinds of books.

Bingo.

You stepped into the room and closed the door quietly behind your back. You hurriedly walked to the bookshelf and started scanning through from top to bottom.

"Archives of Medical Plants... Grand List of Diseases... Mink Autonomy... North Blue Medical Association, dang nothing but medical books," you muttered as you looked through the bookshelf.

Unable to find anything on the bookshelf, you looked around the desk. You opened the drawers hoping to find some comics but found your bounty poster instead.

"Weird, why does he have my poster in there? It doesn't look like he has the rest of the crew's posters." you thought.

You put your hands on your hips and huffed in frustration. "If I were Trafalgar Law, where would I put my precious comic books?" you thought again. 

Your eyes soon landed on the nightstand, and a lightbulb went off on your head. 

You hurriedly scampered to the nightstand. You immediately opened the bottom drawer and found your One Piece.

In the drawer were 12 volumes of Sora, Warrior of the Sea. You carefully picked up the first volume. It was in pristine condition. You noticed it was covered with a plastic sleeve and you chuckled.

"Oh captain I never thought you would be a nerd. This is so good," you said giddily. 

You quickly took the first volume and placed it under your tank top at your back. Then you quickly put on the sleeves of your jumpsuit and zipped it up. You promptly got up and then quickly left the bedroom, quietly closing the door behind your back. You sighed in relief and took in a deep breath until someone spoke up on your left, "Why were you in the captain's room?"

"GAHHHH!!" you screamed. You whipped your head to your left, only to see Penguin leaning up against the wall with a grin.

"Is captain also in there too?" he inquired.

You grabbed onto the man's collar and pushed him against the wall. "Are you crazy? Don't scare me like that! And no, the captain is in the infirmary right now with Jean!" you whispered harshly.

Penguin raised his hands in defeat. "All right all right. But what were you doing in there?"

You released him and took a step back. "Well since you're here, I found the captain's deepest darkest secret," you said grinning. 

He gasped and put his hands on his mouth. "You found out about Corazon?!"

You tilted your head to the left. "Cora-who?"

Penguin laughed nervously. "Oh, that, uh never mind."

You huffed, dismissing what the man just said. "I found out that captain is a huge nerd! I have his copy of Sora, Warrior of the Sea hidden on me right now." you snickered.

Penguin looked like he was going to faint. Then you saw him morph into the angriest you had ever seen him, "WHY WOULD YOU TAKE THAT?!" he screamed. 

You flinched and his sudden outburst. "Whoa now, it's just blackmail material."

"The captain does not play about touching his comic books!"

You squinted. "Wait...you knew about this?"

The man made a raspberry noise "Of course I did. Bepo, Shachi and I grew up with the captain."

"Ah, that makes sense."

Now Penguin squinted. "Wait a minute, who told you about Captain's collection?"

You nervously laughed. "Ah, Bepo told me."

He groaned. "That fucking bear can't keep his mouth shut," he mumbled.

You dismissively waved your hand. "Never mind him. I bribed him. Now, I know you want to take a peak of this comic with me, don't you Penguin?" you asked. 

He scratched the back of his neck. "Well, it won't hurt just to read a bit."

"Great!" you said as you clapped your hands. "Let's head to the kitchen to read!"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was now 4 pm and you just finished preparing dinner. You and Penguin delightfully indulged in the first volume of Sora, Warrior of the Sea. As much as you wanted to continue making fun of the captain for liking a kid's comic series, you found yourself enjoying it as well. But, you reminded yourself that the reason why you took the comic book was to blackmail your captain into never suggesting rice and grilled fish ever again. So you placed it in your shared room with Ikkaku. 

You cleaned up the remaining dishes and placed them next to the sink. You made your special sushi and Soba, as per Bepo's request. You hurriedly walked out of the kitchen to go to your room, eager to read the rest of the comic before using it for blackmail.

However, when you entered your shared room and checked your bed, where you hid the book under your covers, you couldn't find it. You started to panic and started throwing your stuff around to find it. You knew Ikkaku wouldn't have taken it, she was in the boiler room all day so she wouldn't have entered the room at all. 

"Fuck! It was just here! Where did it go?!" you spluttered. 

You started to check your desk until you heard a knock on the door. 

"One moment!" you called out.

The knock came in again, but this time someone spoke. "It's me (Y/n)-ya. Can I speak to you?" 

Your blood ran cold. This was the worst timing ever, and now you were going to die today because of it. 

You sped walked to the door and opened it and saw your captain standing at the door. He was wearing his usual black coat, but this time he wasn't donning his signature hat.

You laughed out of nervousness. "H-hey captain! How can I help you?" you asked.

The raven-haired man raised his eyebrows as he noticed your nervousness. "Is something the matter (Y/n)-ya? Are you unwell?" he inquisitively asked. 

You waved your hand. "Nooo, I'm all okay captain. Why did you come to see me?" you said trying to change the subject.

Law wasn't convinced by your statement but continued anyway. "Bepo told me to come to you directly for food suggestions." He was struggling to meet your eyes. "Well, you told him to tell you and you're right. I should be approaching you personally for things that I request. It isn't fair to dismiss you when you're one of our important crew members." he continued. It seemed like he was trying to apologize. However, that was the least of your worries because you had a lost comic book to find and if you didn't find it soon you were good as dead.

You let out a forced laugh. "Oh it's nothing, captain, no problem, I'll make your fish and rice tonight, let me just head to the kitchen to make it right now!"

You attempted to walk past the doctor but he gently pushed you back in the room and entered with you. He promptly closed the door behind him and took a step towards you, leaning close to your face.

"(Y/n)-ya, you're hiding something aren't you?" he said, staring into you with a strange gleam in his eyes. 

The air suddenly felt hot and you started sweating profusely. You looked off to the side and pursued your lips together. "I don't know what you're talking about captain."

The man's face fell into a frown. "You're a terrible liar (Y/n)-ya. You can't keep a straight face."

Your face turned red in embarrassment. Then suddenly, Law used his Devil Fruit powers to materialize the comic book into his hands. You felt like you were going to pass out.

"Oh, so you have no idea how this ended up in your room?" he said mockingly.

"H-how did you, I-i-" you stuttered in shock. Then you suddenly remember again why you took it in the first place. 

"HA! I took it because I found out that you're a huge nerd! You're a huge fan of Soba, Warrior of the Sea! I will tell everyone in this submarine that you like children's comics if you continue to ask me to make your wretched rice and grilled fish again!" you said proudly. You put your hands on your hips and glared at Law, thinking that the blackmail worked.

There was a pregnant pause. But then Law did unspeakable. For the first time, he burst out laughing. 

The captain was genuinely laughing. A smile adorned his face, with his eyes crinkling up in a crescent shape. This was a big shock to you because you were never met with laughter when it came to Law, only scowls, yelling and threats of violence.

But for some reason, your heart gently fluttered at the sight. To see the captain in such a new light was... interesting to say the least. 

The captain collected his breath and then started to talk. "First of all, who's Soba?"

"Tonight's dinner menu," you answered with no hesitation.

The man sighed, "No, you said Soba the Great Warrior of the Sea, but it's Sora." he corrected you. 

"Oh fuck." you thought. "My hungry ass was thinking thinking about soba."

"Second of all," the doctor continued, "why do you have my book?"

You were pissed off. Did he not realize that you just tried to blackmail him? "Captain, you do realize that I was trying to blackmail you right?"

Law smirked. "Is that so? Well, it's not blackmail if everyone here knows about it," he said.

You swear your brain stopped working. This whole time your plan failed because everyone but you knew that the captain was into superhero comics. You were about to feed the crew shitty food for the entire week.

Noticing that you weren't responding, the man continued to speak. "Also, Penguin told me that you enjoyed reading through it."

You gritted your teeth. "That fucking snitch, I can never tell him anything!" you muttered.

Law chuckled. "Don't worry, I blackmailed him into telling me what happened. I felt that something happening on my submarine."

So everyone's blackmail worked but yours huh? It's like the gods wanted to see you fail.

Law suddenly put down the comic book and dropped it on your bed. Then the doctor suddenly put his tattooed hand behind your neck and pulled you forward so that his mouth was next to your left ear. His cheek was leaning up against yours and you felt yourself blush and heat up from the contact.

"Why are you so adamant on pushing my buttons (Y/n)-ya?" he whispered in your ear.

You felt his goatee scrape against the bottom side of your cheek and you felt your cheeks heat up even more.

"I-I was just-" you stuttered.

"Do you want to get thoroughly punished? It's like you're asking me to punish you." he interrupted. You felt his hot breath in your ear and you swore that you were going to pass out then and there.

The doctor let go of your neck to place both hands on your shoulders and took a look at you. You couldn't tell if he was angry or not. His eyes showed a different look that you were unfamiliar with. It was like he wanted to devour you and throw you out at the same time. The man started shaking from anger for a brief moment, then he stopped and sighed in defeat.

"Your punishment is to read all 12 volumes of Sora with me," he said, finally breaking the silence.

You blankly stared at your captain. You expected that you were going to be kicked out of the crew. But a comic book club with the captain? that was new. "You want me to what?"

"I'm not repeating myself (Y/n)-ya. Since you wanted my books so bad, you will read it with me and talk about it with me," he ordered.

You started to smile out of confusion. "Hey...you just want to talk about Sora with someone don't you?" you questioned him in a teasing tone. 

Law started to scowl as his ears started to turn red. "This isn't about me, I am punishing you for your ridiculous behaviour again," he growled. 

You shook your head and laughed. You brushed off the man's hands on your shoulders and started to walk out of the room. "You're so cute, captain. Fine, for once I agree to do your punishment only because I think it's interesting. Come on now, dinner is going to start soon and I still have to make your disgusting rice and grilled fish meal."

"I AM NOT CUTE!" you heard the tattooed doctor shout behind your back. You didn't see it but his ears turned even more red because of your compliment. Nonetheless, the man started to follow you out of the room. 

But as soon as you opened the door, you were greeted by Ikkaku standing right in front of you. Her eyes were popping out of her head as she saw both you and the captain in the room. She started giggling, as she put both of her hands on her mouth. "Oh my god."

You rolled your eyes and the captain walked passed you your fellow female crew-mate. "I was just questioning (Y/n)-ya, nothing to get worked up over with." he coolly said as he walked down the hall of the submarine.

"Girl, what happened in there?" she asked giddily.

You side-eyed the girl as you started to walk past her as well. “I tried blackmailing the captain but it didn't work.”

Ikkaku frowned and started to follow you. "Come on, what really happened?" she questioned. But you ignored her words as you started to journey into the kitchen. 

You giggled as you walked down the hall. For some reason, Shachi's words replayed in your head.

"Why don't you try getting closer to him?"

A small started to form on your lips. It didn't seem like a bad idea at all.

[linatheweirdooo]

But when I try to stand, it's like Im buried in the sand

envuzi hurt/comfort fic originally posted on ao3 but my last fic on here did well so here

If you recognise the song in the title youre skibidi

Original link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/59257672

~~

"Do your job, and I'll leave you and N alone"

"right, V?"

V backed into the corner, but there was nowhere to run, no place to hide. Tears stung her eyes as she watched her best friend get ripped apart by the monster wearing Tessa's skin. There was nothing she could do but watch.

She failed N. She failed N and Uzi, how could she let this happen? She sacrificed herself to protect them, but of course she was too selfish to kill herself. Of course she backed out. Now there she was, facing the consiquences.

Why did everything always end this way? Why is it that every attempt to help them end in more suffering?

How do they not hate her?

Thoughts retreated to the back of V's mind as she was forced to see it come closer and closer to her, approaching V with mutilated corpses of her friends, the ones she failed, forced to watch, paralysed in fear. She wanted to scream, cry, anything, but nothing came out. This was her life, wasn't it?

~~

V sprung up with a sharp gasp, breaking the silence that had previously enveloped the room.

Room?

V turned to her right to see Uzi, her girlfriend sleeping next to her, and N's arms wrapping around her from her left grounded V, snapping her back to reality.

It was a dream.

She could try to sleep it off. Her internal clock told her it was 2:20 AM. But she was still shaken up by the nightmare.

It was hot. Too hot. She should get something to drink.

V carefully took N's arms and put them down away from her. He was always very cuddly, and she liked it, but now was just not the time.

Uzi was a light sleeper, so V still had to take extra care in getting out of their bed without waking her up either. But eventually, she landed her cone-shaped legs onto the ground, and made her way to the kitchen to get some oil. Uzi and N had both been experimenting with human food, making versions they can eat. V always thought it was a bit useless, she knew all she needed was oil.

Pouring the contents of the bottle into a mug, V stared at her reflection through the black liquid.

How did she get this way?

It's been a few weeks since the solver was defeated, and everyone's still pretty shaken up by it. Uzi has it worst, constantly haunted by the past. Such a powerful being constricted by her own body, and they've yet to see the effects it has in the long term.

So why was V so uneasy? Her own partners can't catch a break, she shouldn't feel like this.

No, it's too late for these thoughts. She survived this long bottling everything up with only a few breakdowns, she doesn't need to stop now. She had more important things to do. There were people she needs to protect and care for now.

V downed the oil in one gulp, eager to get this over with and go back to her partners, but something stopped her at the bathroom mirror.

Something told her to stare. Stare at herself, her body. The hands that can turn into a thousand weapons. The hair she was forced to keep short in order to be successful in combat. The vial of yellow liquid, a weapon of mass destruction. It can so easily melt and tear through flesh.

The piercing yellow eyes that were forced to stare back at her. They weren't always yellow. The solver changed them. Everything she hates about herself was because of the solver.

It didn't even think of her as a person, just a vessel to carry out its deeds. She was never her own person. Who even was she?

Her eyes trailed down to her upper left arm.

The armband.

It had a skull printed on it, a constant reminder of the job she has to do. It had a barcode on it, too. But V eyed something else on it, a string of letters and numbers: her name. Her real name. Serial designation V-X00100000. Next to it, her model type.

CYN-MYKX

Cyn. The poor host of the solver, V's enslaver. The reason she's like this. It only saw her as a tool, didn't it? She wasn't a drone capable of emotion, just a weapon.

She was never her own person. She wasn't her own person as long as she has that armband.

She needs to take it off.

Hands swapped out into claws. Another reminder of what she was made for. Bladed fingers approached the yellow fabric, tugging on it. But she couldn't bring herself to rip it off.

What was the problem? She's trying to but her body just won't let her. V wants this thing off her but can't bring herself to do it.

When did these tears find their way onto her face?

Knees shaky, V fell into the floor, desperately clawing at her arms with razor sharp talons. Who cares if they got damaged, it wasn't even her body anyway. Oil dripped onto the floor as she took in a shaky breath and choked out a sob that was building inside her, but still attempting to shush herself. The last thing she wanted was to be seen like this by the most important people in her life.

~~~

Uzi was always a light sleeper. Hearing a faint, muffled sob from inside her house was enough to wake her up.

Bleary purple eyes blinked awake. It took a few seconds for Uzi to focus on the environment around her, but when she did she noticed something. V wasn't there, despite the fact she was sleeping in the middle that night. At least, that's what she thinks she remembers.

She tierdly lifted herself off the pillow she rested her head on, to check if V may be somewhere else on the bed, only to be met with the sight of a sleeping disassembly drone. But it wasn't V, it was N, her boyfriend. There was still some warmth in between them, though.

Uzi put two and two together to come to the conclusion that V got out of bed recently, for whatever reason.

This can't be good. She had to tell N of their girlfriend's disappearance. Shuffling closer to him, Uzi rested a hand on his shoulder and softly shook it in an attempt to wake him up, but quickly stopped herself.

He looked so peaceful. Only a few weeks ago she would only see this sight in her dreams. So much has happened, but he can finally rest now.

Her hand released its grip on N. She shouldn't wake him up. She can check on V herself. V was strong and brave, she probably isn't hurt and Uzi's just overthinking. It's not worth waking N up too.

With her mind made up, Uzi followed the faint sobs that woke her up in the first place, and worries clouded her head again.

It was when she saw the bathroom door cracked open that she stopped in her tracks. She heard faint sobs that were clearly not intended to be heard, and hyperventilating that got worse the closer she got to the bathroom.

"V? Is that you?" The worker quietly asked through the gap, not walking inside to give her girlfriend some space. But when the only sound that came back was a hushed sob, Uzi was left paralyzed. Whatever's happening, is she qualified to help out with it?

She shook the thoughts away. Her girlfriend was having a moment, she should at least try to help. The door slowly opened, complimented with a soft creak, and Uzi poked her head inside to a sight she wished she didn't get to witness.

~~

N didn't know what it was, but something felt off. His optics struggled to make out his surroundings at first, but he quickly realized the arm he was previously hugging wasn't there. V wasn't there.

V always shuffled around in her sleep a lot, he wasn't surprised she wriggled her arm out of his grasp somehow. But, there was also a lack of warmth on the bed too.

"Uzi? Is V-" his optics had fully adjusted to the dark when he cut himself off. Uzi wasn't there either.

Reluctantly, N got out of the bed. It was late and he was tired, but he definetly can't just fall back asleep knowing neither of them were there. What if they got hurt? They're still pretty shaken up about what happened a few weeks ago (and admittedly, he was too).

But he was more worried about V. Unlike Uzi, who has learned to open up to both her partners, V was clearly trying to hide the way she truly feels. She always hid her true emotions. N just wished she could be more open to him and Uzi, so they can help her. So she doesn't break at the seams again.

Walking down the mostly empty hallway (they had still just moved into their house, there isn't any furniture or decoration yet) N's "eyes" took note of the slightly illuminated wall. It didn't take a genius to figure out a door was open with the light on.

Upon getting closer to the source of the light, he heard quiet sobs.

Once he reached the door, N peeked inside. There was oil everywhere. On the floor, on clothes, even caked onto the faces of two drones. One purple, one yellow.

Uzi and V.

They were on the floor, V had her claws out and was evidently the source of the sobs. She was still wearing the same old jacket she's worn for ages, but evidence of all the abuse it has gone through littered the fabric in the form of rips, tears, scratches and oil stains. But some of them were new.

~~

V bit back some more sobs as she noticed her other partner has found her. N must've not realised he was staring, but to V it was just another pair of eyes watching her, judging her, degrading her for comitting the crime of existing. She wanted to disappear from the face of Copper-9. So much has gone down.

She was sitting on the floor, her knees to her chest, hyperventilating. So defenseless. So weak. No wonder the solver chose her as its victim. It promised she'll be free, but even in its death, she hasn't broken free of its shackles. When it's not controlling or manipulating V, it was watching her in her nightmares, in the empty spaces in her new house, in the mirrors she looked at herself through.

"V, please. Stop hurting yourself" spoke a voice too comforting for her to deserve it. V couldn't even register who said it.

"V?"

Her vents quieted.

"Can you look at me?"

Hesitantly, golden tear-filled eyes met purple ovals. She bit back another sob.

N sat on the floor next to Uzi, with his hand hovering over one of the wounds V's claws were still in the middle of branding her casing with.

He didn't speak, but demonstrated to V what he wanted to her do when he switched over his hands for claws, then back to normal again. He wanted her to switch them back.

V just stared into his eyes and slowly shook her head, digging her claws deeper and drawing more oil.

"V, please." Uzi made eye contact with V again, but this time V removed her claws from the oil stained plastic forearms she was digging them into, but still hovered them over her wounds.

"Can you switch your hands back to normal for me?" The worker asked oh so tenderly; absolutely not the tone V deserved to be spoken to in.

Newly built up tears made their way onto V's screen. She can't. She still hasn't been able to remove the arm band. She still hasn't punished herself enough for the things she did. She's still alive. The solver will be haunting her as long as that remains a fact.

She can't take it anymore. It's like something snapped inside her, but all the tears came back stronger. She didn't want to cry, and an effort was clearly made, but it was too much. She lodged herself inbetween N and Uzi, wrapping her arms around both of them and sobbed hopelessly into the gap between them.

V's sobs were strained, she clearly didn't want them to escape her mouth. But she just couldn't hold them back. It's like every time she blinked back tears in her life all came back to her, stronger than ever. She shook and trembled, as a seemingly endless stream of tears burned her screen.

N was taken aback by the sudden hug, but then wrapped his arms around V's frame, with Uzi following suit.

Uzi didn't care her clothes were soaking up her own girlfriend's oil. It was about time that old hoodie was put out if its misery anyway.

V's sobs eventually died down, getting replaced with awkward yet comforting silence. As she hugged her partners, clawing on the fabric of their clothes. She needs to make sure they're actually here and this wasn't another cruel trick.

Eventually, she broke the silence with two words.

"I'm sorry"

N pulled his head away from V's to look at her, but still stayed in the embrace.

"Don't apologize. But, are you able to tell us what happened?" N's voice was slightly scratchy considering he still had just woken up, but V could still hear the concern in his voice. Robo god she didn't deserve either of them.

"It's stupid" she reluctantly replied. She isnt used to being vulnerable, to saying how she felt. It was a habit she wants to break but it was so hard after years and years of bottling everything up.

"Don't say that. I don't blame you for breaking" Uzi eyed the ground, trying to find the correct words to say.

"These last few weeks have been so hard, and yet you were there for us when we needed someone to talk to"

"I think you deserve that outlet, too"

V's eyes locked with Uzi's when she said those last few words. Uzi has seen first hand the things V has done, how could she deserve it? Uzi and N are good people, she had to comfort them. She loved them. But she didn't deserve that same treatment.

"I don't think I deserve it"

"V..."

"I hurt so many people, Uzi... I hurt you and N... I don't deserve to have the two of you helping or comforting me"

Uzi frowned upon hearing V's response.

"V, N and I met by trying to kill eachother, I killed so many of my classmates at camp. OH, and let's not forget the time I tried to kill you later that day, too."

"Uzi, that's different-"

"No! Because at the end of the day, all three of us have done some messed up shit. But if N and I deserve love anyway, you do, too, V"

Silence fell over the polycule after Uzi's little speech. V tried to argue back, but couldn't find any sufficient arguments.

Uzi was right.

V let out a sigh, and breifly interlaced her fingers with both her partners'... and then found her face heating up. A beat passed before she threw a friendly punch at the purple drone.

"You dork! You don't get to make me feel sappy!" V playfully scolded her girlfriend. Uzi couldn't help but laugh at the sudden change in V's demeanor.

But as Uzi's giggles died down, the light-hearted atmosphere did, too.

"But, seriously though. You should open up a bit more. We're here to help you, we love you, why else do you think I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you and N?"

V's grin faded slightly as she came back to the reality that she still did scare her partners at the middle of the night.

"What happened, V?" Uzi finally asked her. Damn it. She wished she didn't have to say anything about the events that led up to her breakdown.

"If you're comfortable with talking about it, that is" N added.

V's sorrowful gaze reached her upper left arm. Specifically, the damned yellow tag that branded her.

"I want to take it off. I feel trapped as long as I have it" she finally admitted.

V's mind wandered, anticipating any response from them. "ALL of this trouble was caused by a piece of fabric?!". It was a pretty silly reason, she kind of expected them to get mad at her for it. But they didn't.

N let out a surprised "oh" as he remembered the meltdown he had when he tried to take it off.

Uzi cupped V's cheek and her thumb tenderly traced the surface of it. "Let's take it off, then" her soothing voice comforted.

N positioned himself on V's left, and with a precise slice of his claw, the yellow symbol of control fell into the floor.

V looked at her arm. Her arm, which was a part of her body, no longer belonging to anyone else.

She was free.

V hugged N, burying her face in the crook of his neck.

"Thank you"

N reciprocated the action, his arms wrapped around V as her hair fully obscured his face. He then planted a gentle kiss on it as his fingers ran through her silver locks.

Eventually, they parted before V wiped a singular tear off her screen. One day, she'll tell them about the problems plaguing her. The nightmares, the thoughts, the urge. But for now, she savored the feeling of being at peace (or at least, the closest feeling to peace since what happened three weeks ago).

"I think it's time we head back to bed" V finally said. She hated to admit it, but the lack of sleep did take a toll on her.

Standing up from the floor, V stretched and picked up Uzi bridal style.

"HEY!"

"Can't let you forget how I usually act just because you saw me cry, toaster"

Uzi childishly pouted before wrapping her arms around V's neck.

"Bite me"

N held back a few giggles as he watched the most important drones in his life still bickering like they don't live in the same house together.

~~

After the three of them flopped on their bed, V felt two pairs of arms wrap around her waist and head.

"I'm NOT letting you leave this bed alone again" Uzi mumbled into her girlfriend's chest.

V could've gotten mad, but she found herself chuckling instead. Maybe this night wasn't that bad in the end.

Soft rumbles radiated from V as she purred in content in sync with the taller disassembly drone nuzzling her.

"I love you" were the last words V spoke that night. Though it was half muttered, both the drones it was directed at heard it, increasing their grip in their hugs.

Eventually, V's purring was replaced with soft snores as she drifted off the sleep, surrounded by the people she loved in a quiet moment of tranquillity.

[mmogurl]

Last to Fall Chapter 3 - Dark On Me

18+ | 2.9k | Aegon II Targaryen X Female Dragonseed Reader | Unresponsive Aegon | half sister reader - you're a princess now! Fastest elevation in class ever! wholesome, fluff, severe injury and burns, mentions of death and other bad things, but still... this whole thing is actually kind of sweet compared to what I usually write.

Ok! This chapter was actually very emotional for me to write. I think sometimes I put my mind too closely into that of my characters, because as I was imagining several parts of this chapter from the reader's perspective, I found myself tearing up. Hopefully that emotion comes across in the work and makes it better.

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 On AO3

I've also decided that I'm going to try my best to fit every chapter to a Starset song because the whole Series is based off the title of one (Last to Fall). I'm enjoying the challenge of finding one that suits each theme/ story! They're not all going to be perfectly aligned, but I'll try my best. This one is Starset - Dark on Me I especially like the line - 'But I found in you what was lost in me.. In a world so cold and empty.' Thanks to @zaldritzosrose for headers and I actually made all the gifs myself again! Tags: @coffeebooksrain18, @lexi-anastasia-astra-luna, @meggletoomanyfandoms, @theanbitchless (If you wanna be removed or added from/to the taglist, just let me know)

You hear the horns sound and watch from the balustrade as the procession makes its way through the city up towards the Red Keep. The soldiers return from battle victorious, carting the head of Meleys upon a wagon, but you haven’t seen Sunfyre return yet and nobody will tell you what has become of the king. You’ve heard his mother, Queen Dowager Alicent, mention Aegon in hushed whispers with some council members, but she has not deemed you worthy to share whatever information she has.

Even with the king’s decree elevating your status to that of princess, none will tell you what has happened. You must assume the worst. As the caravan draws closer to the castle, you can see another cart led by two horses. It carries what appears to be a casket covered by many blankets and your heart sinks at the thought of your most dire fears come true.

He cannot be dead. No, no. You won’t accept it.

You rush down to the courtyard, to await the arrival of your king, praying to any gods that might listen that he is still alive. A large contingent of the Kingsguard greet you outside and you feel even more strongly now that your assumption must be true. That Aegon is indeed in that wooden tomb, very likely deceased, but your heart still holds out hope that you’re wrong. The massive gates open to the inner wall of the keep and you watch with despair as the wagon is pulled forward.

As the wooden cart stops, your eyes dart to and fro as men step up to bear the casket forth. You catch the gaze of one of the white cloaks standing near you, and plead with him for answers. “Is he dead?” you whisper, desperate to know the fate of the man who had asked you to be his.

He offers a knowing expression of remorse, but nothing more. You are forced to follow behind as six men carry the king inside, be he dead or alive. You can’t help but wonder where everyone is. Where is his mother? His brother? Where is the small council? Is nobody here to witness the return of the king? You can’t help but to cry quietly as you follow the men of the City Watch and Kingsguard combined with your hung head low.

They carry the massive wooden crate all through the castle, heading upstairs until they enter Maegor’s Holdfast. You pass by Queen Helaena who is standing outside of her chambers, observing the procession with curiosity. You can’t help but wonder if they had kept the truth from her as well. When your eyes lock onto each others, her features twist with curiosity at the sight of your tears, but there is no malice present.

Helaena has never been rude or cruel to you, despite her knowledge of your role in Aegon’s life. She almost seemed grateful that you were able to offer him the companionship that she could not. The queen did not follow further, opting to stay back, likely having a sense that even more tragedy was on the horizon. You didn’t blame her for that, but it didn’t change that you must know. You had to see with your own eyes what had become of your love, Aegon.

As the doors to the king’s chambers opened, your gaze fell upon Alicent standing to the side by the windows. Of course she had known, but chose to leave you in the dark, suffering alone with your doubts and fears. When she saw you, she averted her eyes for a moment, her facade of calm cracking slightly before she steeled herself and offered you a nod. You returned the gesture with a trembling lower lip stepping aside to watch what came next.

They removed the lid of the casket and a whimper escaped your lips as one soldier took Aegon’s sword, Blackfyre, from within and placed it to the side with reverence. The soldiers cleared the room as men dressed in black heaved a dark canvas bag from within the wooden coffer. The sight of this actually made you fall to your knees with grief, finally seeing proof that Aegon was not of this world anymore.

A lamenting wail throbbed through your chest as they placed Aegon’s body on the bed. Your hand clutched the footboard as you fell down on one knee, barely keeping yourself upright. Alicent came to stand beside you, and you barely noticed the presence of the maesters entering through your sobbing.

“Is he alive?” the Queen Dowager asked with a mixture of shock and trepidation. The words stopped your weeping instantly as you pulled yourself up and leaned over the bedframe.

“His Grace, remains with us, for the moment,” Grand Maester Orwyle answered somberly.

You let out whining gasp that makes you sound like a pathetic animal, but you can’t help it. “He was alive? And you carted him through the streets as though he were a corpse!?” You cannot help but cry out as you stare accusingly at Alicent, appalled by the treatment he’d received.

“I didn’t have much say in it,” the Queen Dowager replies looking bewildered as the sight before her seemed to sink in. “They told me.. They thought it would be best that nobody saw the injuries he sustained.”

You stop your outrage, realizing that she likely didn’t know the extent of the damage either. Still, you wish she would have confided in you what little she had known so that you might have better prepared for this.

Orwyle takes an instrument from his medical kit and begins to remove pieces of Aegon’s armor. The more you look, the more you begin to understand what has happened to him. The entire left side of his body, from his head all the way down to his leg, has been scorched by dragonflame. His arm appears to have been dealt the brunt of the damage, where the Valyrian steel has melted into his limb, leaving it a gored tangle of flesh and metal.

A cry threatens to escape your lips once more, but you stifle it. There will be time for sobbing later, but for now you wish to keep yourself preoccupied. “I wish to help,” you say desperately, but everyone is so busy at work that nobody even responds. “Please,” you ask again, your brows furrowed with anguish. “I need to help.”

Alicent offers a glance at one of the maesters assisting Orwyle and from there, a chain reaction of assent occurs, until finally a young man tugs your arm and pulls you to the side.

“You can aid me in making the poultices,” he says softly. You cannot possibly express how grateful you are for the opportunity to stay busy, while attempting to save your king. You offer the Queen Dowager an appreciative look from across the room and return to learning how to prepare the treatment for Aegon.

It is likely a good thing that you are not watching as they remove the king’s armor, for you can hear his ragged breaths and the gasp that startles from Alicent’s mouth in response to it.

“Is my son going to die?” she asks sounding petrified. You do not wish to hear it, but you can’t tune it out either.

“I’m afraid I cannot say,” Orwyle responds quietly, turning his head to regard the Queen Dowager for a moment. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, Your Grace, these next hours are most critical.”

“Of course,” Alicent replies, taking a step back so that she’s no longer interfering with the healers work.

The young maester in training hands you a plate filled with individual leaves of steamed cabbage and notions for you to take it to the bed. “Take these,” he says quietly as a mouse. You don’t hesitate to obey, not wanting to hinder Aegon’s chances for survival.

You hold the tray out, leaning over Aegon’s bed, to an aged maester with a gray beard dressed all in dingy whites. He begins to take one piece at a time, placing the wraps at the bottom of Aegon’s broken leg and working his way up. Your hands shake slightly, but you do your best to stall your trembling so that you might be of use. Stealing a glance down the length of the bed, you see Orwyle sponging charred bits away from Aegon’s once pristine face.

Your heart aches, but you push it deep down. There will be time to grieve later if he dies, but you refuse to give into despair again before that actually happens.

“Someone will have to rule in his stead,” the cold and familiar voice cuts through your thoughts.

You turn to your right and see Aemond standing there, dead center at the foot of Aegon’s bed. He had always seemed dangerous to you, but has never looked this unhinged before. You can’t help but wonder what might have happened at the battle of Rook’s Rest to change his demeanor so drastically. The way he looks at Aegon, it reminds you of a cat playing with a mouse, holding it by the tail and swatting at it.

You can’t help but wonder how he stands there without an ounce of concern for his brother. As your discomfort grows, you decide that you will have to keep an eye on the prince from now on. You swear solemnly to yourself, glaring at Aemond while you do so, that you will keep watch on the king as though your life depended on it. Just in case.

————

It has been a couple of days now and while Aegon has not yet woken, he has not yet passed into the arms of the Stranger either. He’s been cleaned up considerably, and his wounds all tended to. The only remnants of the horror you witnessed when he first arrived in the Red Keep being the charcoal still tinting his cheek and of course all of the burns that lace his left side. His broken leg is propped up to keep the blood from swelling, but otherwise Aegon looks peaceful in his slumber, despite the audible struggle he has breathing. You lay next to Aegon on the bed, unwilling to leave his side for any reason lest he might wake alone without a caring face to welcome him back. Nestled carefully against the side of him that is not horribly burnt, it almost feels comforting to feel his chest rise and fall beside you with a fire crackling in the hearth.

At first, you worried that Aegon might pass at any given moment, but once he was out of imminent danger, it became a waiting game. Inevitably boredom overcame you as the king continued to sleep. You took to cleaning to pass the time. First, washing and scrubbing every nook and cranny of the floor in his chambers despite the objection of everyone that came across your endeavoring to stay sane. You then moved onto dusting and cleaning out the tapestries. It was one of the few times you’d left the king’s chambers since he returned, but you wanted to take everything outside to be aired out, lest there be a dust storm within.

A soft sigh pulls you from your memories and your eyes open to see Alicent sitting at the side of Aegon’s bed. Her hand is clinging to his as she leans slightly onto the bed. You can tell from her expression that this whole situation has been very taxing on her. Within such a short span of time, she’s almost lost her eldest son and king, and been passed over for the regency of the realms in his absence for Aemond. Given the predatory way the new Prince Regent had been staring at Aegon days prior, this is a decision you wholeheartedly disagree with.

As much as you hate to admit it, you’ve grown to appreciate Alicent’s company. At first she seemed annoyed by your presence, but you can only assume that in seeing your dedication to her son, she’s softened towards you. She’s even shared several kind words with you, which felt incredibly awkward, especially when she began referring to you as ‘The Princess,’ a title you are still not accustomed to hearing anyone speak, let alone her.

The Queen Dowager had never acknowledged the decree previously, but then none of the acceptance really matters without Aegon here to share it with. He’d talked of marrying you upon his return and now you wondered if that would ever happen. Your fingers caress softly along his arm, a motion that has become almost involuntarily by now as you huddle to him, hoping that your touch will bring him back.

Alicent stands suddenly, her eyes bleary as she places a hand on her son’s good cheek. She almost looks afraid to get too close, as though admitting the depth of her care for him might somehow make it hurt more to lose him. She nods a soft ‘good night’ to you and goes to leave the room. You watch for a moment as the maester opens the door for her in anticipation, and rest your head back down on the pillow.

And that’s when you hear it, so quiet and coarse that you might have missed it if you had not been right beside him. “Mummy,” he whispers without opening his eyes.

You dart up from the bed with haste, looking at him incredulously, as though he had just risen from the dead. “Queen Dowager!” you cry out, not wishing to disturb him, but needing to get her attention. “Maesters! He spoke!” You realize you are laughing with relief as you call out to the them, brushing the backs of your knuckles upon Aegon’s cheek gently as you coo to him. “She is coming, my love.”

As Alicent rushes back to her son’s bedside, you both share a look of hopeful promise. “What did he say?” she asks, her eyes searching over Aegon as though he might move, and than glancing back to you.

“He said ‘Mummy,’” you answer with a smile, happy to see the look of touched gratitude that appears on her face.

“Oh my sweet son…” she trails off, seemingly unable to put words to how she is feeling. She stands beside him, reaching out with a little more confidence this time. “Mummy’s here,” she offers quietly as the two maesters on duty gather behind her.

Aegon lets out a gravelly sound, his breath hitching as he fights for consciousness.

“We’ll let Grand Maester Orwyle know of this development,” one of the men in white offers. “But if he is soon to be speaking with us, it is good news indeed.”

The Queen Dowager is in high spirits when she is finally ready to leave for the night, so exhausted she can barely keep her eyes open. “Thank you,” she says, looking you in the eyes as she rises from her chair. “You didn’t have to call me back, but I’m glad that you did.”

“Who am I to deny him his mother if that’s who he’s ask for?” you say as though there was no other possible outcome in your mind.

She smiles at you with a warmth she’s never shown you before, nodding slightly. “Will you have them fetch me if he wakes again?” she asks with fondness in her voice.

“Of course,” you reply, settling back into the bed beside Aegon. You are surprised when she walks around to your side of the bed, and proceeds to mother you under the covers.

“If you’re going to spend your nights in here, than the least you can do is keep comfortable,” Alicent says with a hint of jest in her tone.

It is definitely a touch strange as she pulls the blanket up and around you, tucking it underneath you slightly. It’s almost suffocating, but in a nice way. “Good night,” you say, turning on your side towards Aegon. You’ve practically made a nook at his side from the amount of time you’ve spent there by now.

“Sleep well,” Alicent calls as she extinguishes the candles, leaving nothing but the hearth to light the immediate vicinity. She ushers the maesters out of the room, with an authoritative pitch. “Get some rest for the night, my son is in good hands as you can plainly see.”

As the doors close and you’re left in silence, you can’t help but consider how sometimes the worst things in life can really help to bring people together. You’ve also seen tragedy tear relationships apart, but when something beautiful can blossom from the ashes of destruction, it almost feels like everything is going to be alright again. Like Aegon is going to wake up and get out of his bed and move on with his life. And when he does, he’ll find himself rousing to a world in which his mother might feel a little more comfortable showing her thanks for his company.

You nuzzle your face into the crook of his neck, inhaling deeply of his scent. Despite all of the medicinal herbs and the lingering remnants of carbon, you can still smell him. You press a tender kiss on his neck, right below his ear, humming softly as you taste him on your lips.

Whispering softly, you beseech him with kindness, “I love you, Aegon.” You run the tip of your nose against his jawline, savoring the feel of him. “I’ll wait for you… As long as it takes. Just come back to me.”

[absurdthirst]

The Peña Matchmaker {Javier Peña x F!Reader}

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 17.1k

Warnings: Stranger sex, bathroom sex, unprotected sex, vaginal sex, mentions of food play, oral sex (male and female receiving), riding, somnophilia, waking up to sexual activity, public sex, abusive boyfriends, one slap, threats, domestic violence, threats of sexual assault, police, protective Javi.

Comments: Meeting at Danny's wedding because of his tía, your boss, starts an exciting, causal sexual affair with Javier Peña. Leading you down a road of fun and adventure until he's called back to Colombia, leaving you alone and adrift.

Co-written with @storiesofthefandomlovers

**Follow @absurdthirst-writes and turn on notifications to stay up to date on all new fics.

|| MasterList || Javier Peña MasterList ||

Click Keep Reading only if you have read the Rating and Warnings and understand the warnings may not be complete to avoid listing spoilers. As AO3 says 'creator chooses not to use warnings'. You also agree that you're the right age to be consuming anything here.

Javi didn’t really want to attend his cousin’s wedding but his pa had asked him to come and the old man didn't ask much of him. Javi doesn’t really like seeing his extended family, too many questions about his job and when he’s going to settle down. His reputation has thankfully stayed in Colombia but his prior misdemeanors i.e leaving Lorraine at the altar had earned him the title of the casanova of Laredo. Since coming home in disgrace, he’s been laying low at his pa’s ranch, helping out, but today, he’s going to deal with his family. Christ, Sicarios are less scary. The wedding is thankfully quick and soon everyone is in the reception hall next door, beers opened and catering done by his tía’s restaurant is put out for anyone to enjoy. He’s sipping his beer, looking around the hall, and that’s when he sees you.

****

“Stop fussing over the food and go and have a drink.” Diana shoos you away from the long table and you sigh. You’d helped her with the food for her son’s wedding and now she wants you to go relax. You know Danny and his bride, having gone to high school with them, and you were grateful when his mother, Diana, offered you a job at her restaurant after you graduated. You’ve been with her ever since, wanting to put your culinary degree to use. You follow her order and walk over to the bar, picking up a bottle of wine and you huff as you struggle to get the screw top open.

Javi notices the pretty woman struggling with the wine and he doesn’t know her. Stepping up to you and taking the bottle from your hand, he shoots you a charming grin. “Let me.” He offers and easily twists the cap off to hand it to you. “Those bottles are hard to get into when you need them the most.” He jokes. 

“Thanks.” You huff. “Although you don’t seem like the type to drink ‘white Zinfandel’.” You grin, imagining this handsome and rugged man holding a wine glass. Whiskey seems more his speed, although he has a bottle of Budweiser in his hand as he reaches around you to the bar. You introduce yourself and hope that he’s not married, you don’t see a ring on his finger.

Javi doesn't get a chance to introduce himself before his tía, Diana, is doing it for him. "Oh I was going to introduce you two." She says your name, "this is my nephew, Javier. He's just got back from Colombia and he's single." She winks and you cringe slightly. The older woman has been hinting about you meeting her nephew since his return, often reprimanding you for letting yourself get trapped in your work and not finding yourself a boyfriend. 

"It's great to meet you." You say and Diana practically beams. 

"Javi, she's single too." She fails at being discreet but Javi doesn't embarrass you by saying he doesn't date. Instead, he nods and Diana looks between you once more, "I'll leave you two to get to know each other." 

You groan softly, taking a gulp of your wine, "that wasn't awkward at all."

“Leave it to tía to cut through the bullshit and get right to the matchmaking.” Javi jokes, taking it easy on you. You are pretty, there’s no denying that and he would love to see how you moan, but he can tell that you are the relationship type. “Don’t worry about it.” He promises when you have drained half your wine. “It’s not worth the wine hangover.” 

You snort and shake your head. “I love her, but she is not subtle. I don’t blame you if you run away now.” 

“You should be the one running.” Javi chuckles, aware that his reputation is mud around here.

You lower the glass from your lips and turn to look at him, "your reputation doesn't scare me off but the way Lorraine is glaring at me from across the room makes me think that she isn't over you jilting her." You raise your eyebrows to Lorraine in a silent challenge when she looks your way again. 

Javi shifts from one foot to the other, "yeah well, she has her husband and 2.5 kids she always wanted. I chase after sicarios like I always wanted." He snorts and sips his beer, "reputation." 

He shakes his head and you smirk, "you can't live in Laredo without knowing about the great Javier Peña. With the way your tía talks about you, you'd think you'd come right from a GQ magazine." You nudge him playfully. 

"Do I live up to expectations?" He smirks, moving side to side with his arms out. 

You bite your lip, trailing your gaze along the length of him, liking what you see but you don't let him know that when you reply, "meh, you aren't bad on the eyes."

Javi’s eyes crinkle when he grins. Not a polite smile, but a real grin that is accompanied by the smallest chuckle. “Not bad, huh?” He rocks his jaw and slides his hands on his jeans. “I guess I can live with that.” He shrugs and glances up and down your body, letting his gaze turn slightly darker. “You’re not too bad yourself.” 

You flush a little, feeling your stomach twist at the way he's looking at you. "It's the new dress I bought for today." You murmur, glancing back across the room. 

“It's not the dress." Javi replies and you manage to stop the shiver of arousal from the slight rasp in his voice. Before you can reply, the DJ starts to play the music and you turn back to look at Javi. "Have you tried the food?" You ask and he nods, "it's delicious." You smile, "thanks. I did the catering. It's my thing...I'm the chef for your tía's place."

Javi hums, impressed with that. “I can cook chorizo and eggs and not burn toast.” He offers, smirking slightly and aware that it’s almost an invitation to breakfast. While he doesn’t date, he does fuck and he’s been known to make breakfast before sending the girl off the next morning if it’s an all nighter. “Did you make the cherry empanadas too?” He asks, humming when you nod. “They were good. Damn good. I ate three of them. Sweet and tangy, just the way I like it.” 

You smirk at his flirting, enjoying the banter and ease after being so stressed with work lately. "Glad to hear it." You hum and the song changes. "Oh, I love this song." You sigh and Javi holds his hand out after setting his beer down. 

"Wanna dance, hermosa?" He asks and you bite your lip, nodding as you set your drink down and let him lead you to the dance floor. There are other couples and the song is sensual but not too slow, letting Javi pull you close and you reach up to wrap your arms around his neck.

It’s been a long time since Javi has had a woman in his arms and it’s not been leading up to tearing each other’s clothes off, but he remembers how to dance. Swaying with you gently to the music, he watches your eyes soften as you glance over at where the bride and groom are sharing their own dance. “It’s hard to believe that Danny’s married.” He shakes his head. “He was a kid when I left Laredo.” He tells you. “Now he’s a Marine, and a husband.”

“It’s hard to believe Danny’s married.” You echo, “he was a freshman when I graduated, you know.” You say and Javi’s fingers twitch against your hips. 

“I - I didn’t know.” He admits and you chuckle, leaning in close, “such a dirty old man.” You tease and he snorts, “dirty, huh? You haven’t seen it yet, hermosa.” 

You smirk and push yourself a little closer to him as he sways you. “Maybe I wouldn’t mind seeing it.” You murmur, tilting back to look into those dark brown eyes.

“Yeah?” He smirks and glances around the room at the family and friends. “Do you want to get out of here?” He asks, lifting a brow. “Or do you want to be really dirty and stay?” He can’t deny that he wants to see what is under that dress and slide inside you. 

You like how forward he is. There’s no false promises or messing around with sweet words. He’s direct and that turns you on. You lean closer, brushing your lips against his ear. “Go get a beer and meet me in the bathroom in five minutes.” You murmur as the song ends. You kiss under his ear and pull back, making your way across the dance floor and towards the bathrooms in the back of the hall, hidden by the corridor between the hall and the church.

Exhaling roughly, Javi turns and makes his way towards the bar so he can grab that beer. It would be the fastest beer he’s ever drank. “You have that look about you, mijo.” Chucho walks up and slaps Javi on the back. 

Grunting, he twists the top off the beer. “Don’t know what you mean.” He offers, mentally timing how long it’s been since you’ve walked off in his head. “Just havin’ a beer.”

Chucho doesn’t believe him, just smirks and shakes his head before he murmurs, “just be safe.” He walks off towards his sister in law who grins and pats him on the shoulder when he approaches her. You look into the mirror, checking your appearance and adjusting your hair as you wait for Javi. When the door opens and he enters, you turn to face him, listening to the lock click and you wait for him to make the next move.

Watching you for a moment, Javi rushes forward and pulls you against him, fusing his lips to yours hungrily. It’s been a long time since he’s gotten laid. Nearly a week before he left Colombia and for a man who used sex to work out his frustrations, that was a long time. His tongue pushes inside your mouth as soon as your lips part, demanding control and he pushes you up against the sink. 

You moan into his mouth, gripping his shirt, and his hands slide down to squeeze your ass and you whimper. His cock is hard and pressing into your hip as his fingers slide up to grip the zipper of your dress. He slides it down enough to pull it off of your arms, exposing your bra and you unbutton his plaid shirt, caressing the skin of his chest.

Javi kisses down your jaw, nipping your skin lightly as he works the clasp of your bra. He should be going into your panties, but he wants to suck on your tits and as soon as the straps of your bra are sliding down he ducks his head to wrap his lips around one of your nipples.

“Fuck.” You moan softly, tilting your head back as he sucks and bites down on your nipple. Your fingers fumble to unbuckle his belt and after you finally manage to get it open, you unbutton his pants and reach in to squeeze his cock. “Oh God.” You moan at the girth of him, hot and heavy in your hand.

He groans against your breast, enjoying the way you explore his cock and touch him. Twitching when you reach down farther to cup his balls and feel how heavy they are. Switching to the other breast, his hand slides beneath your dress and pushes your panties to the side so he can discover how wet you are. Grunting when he finds you slick from anticipation, he rubs your clit before pushing two fingers inside you. 

“Fuck, Javi, baby.” You gasp when his thick fingers stretch you out and your grip on his cock tightens. Your hips rock into his touch as much as you can with him pressing you against the sink and your free hand tangles in his dark locks. “Jav. I need - want you to fuck me.” You plead, needing to feel him inside of you. It’s been too long since you’ve had sex and you want to feel him, all of him. “I- safe - I am on birth control.” You promise and whimper when his fingers curl just right inside of you.

“Fuck.” He hisses, enjoying the idea of sliding into you bare. He prefers it that way. Pulling his fingers out of your wet heat, he spins you around and pulls your dress up so he can drag your panties down your thighs. Feet kicked apart, he is pressing close within seconds. Lining up and starting to sink into you with a sharp snap of his hips. 

Your mouth falls open, eyes closed as he pushes deep and stretches you out. “Holy shit.” You gasp and he reaches up to grab your jaw, “eyes on me, hermosa.” He orders and you struggle but manage to open your eyes so you can look at him. 

“Javi, you feel - fuck.” You moan softly when he starts to move inside of you. Your hips are pressed against the sink, digging in, but you don’t care, too enthralled by the feel of him and the way he’s looking at you in the mirror like you’re the only woman in the world.

Aware that this is a bathroom romp, Javi can’t tear his eyes away from you. From fling to paid worker, he always enjoyed the connection with his partner while he is fucking their brains out. “Hermosa.” He groans, fingers digging into your hips as your cunt hugs him like a fucking glove. He works himself to a quick rhythm, hips slapping against your ass harshly and grunting at how good it feels to bury himself inside you again and again. “So tight.” He hisses. 

You love hearing his grunts and hisses, his eyes burning into yours as he thrusts into you over and over again. “I love it. I love how you feel inside of me. Keep going. I love it.” You moan, reaching back to grip his hand, bringing it to your breast to squeeze it.

Javi groans, squeezing your tit harshly and pinching your nipple just to feel you clench down around him. He’s needed this, needed a good fuck to make all his worries fall away. You are gorgeous and take him so well. “Fuck, you are perfect.” He hisses, wrapping his arm around your stomach and pulling you back against him so he can kiss and bite along your shoulder.

“Oh God.” You tilt your head back to close your eyes but he reminds you to keep watching him in the mirror. You nod, tilting your head to meet his dark gaze once more and you whimper when he kisses along your neck, rasping in your ear, “such a good girl, hermosa.” 

You are close, one hand gripping his forearm and the other snakes down to rub your clit, knowing you need more to cum around him. “Shit. I’m gonna cum baby.” You warn him breathlessly, continuing to rub the bundle of nerves.

Javi watches you rub your clit for a moment before he’s slapping your hand away and replacing your fingers with his own. Wanting to be the reason you cum. Wanting to control your pleasure. He had made sure the girls he paid for sex had a good time, he definitely wanted you to. “Cum for me, hermosa.” He growls in your ear. “Wanna feel it, soak my cock.”

His fingers feel so much better than your own and you let him work you up until you’re falling apart for him. “Oh fuck!” You squeal, clamping down on his cock and your nails dig into his forearm as he keeps you upright so he can keep fucking you through your orgasm.

“Fuck.” The sounds of him fucking you get wetter, sloppier as he keeps ramming his hips forward. Rocking up onto his toes as he tries to push deeper inside your cunt while you gush around him. “So fucking good, hermosa. Tight little cunt ‘s gonna milk me dry.” He hisses.

“Cum for me. Cum for me, Javi.” You beg, wanting to watch him fall apart inside of you. He grits his teeth, grunts escaping his lips and you clench around him, trying to egg him on until a few thrusts later, he’s pushing deep inside of you and he hisses as he paints your walls. “Yesss.” You moan, loving the way his jaw drops as he cums inside of you.

He pants, his entire body relaxing as he pumps you full of his cum. Groaning your name and turning his head to kiss your jaw and then your lips as he rides out his high. “Fuck that was good.” He groans. “I need a cigarette after that.” He chuckles, knowing he’s going to chew some Nicorette instead of having the smoke he’s craving.

You smile lazily, relishing the feel of him inside and around you until he’s pulling out and you reach to grab the paper towels to clean yourself up. “That was good. I guess we better get back out there before we are missed.” You toss the dirty paper towels into the trash and turn to face Javi once you are situated. You grab the front of his shirt to pull him close, pressing your lips to his. “I had a damn good time, Peña.” You murmur, caressing his chest.

He hums and smirks at you. “I did too.” He promises, although he doesn’t ask for your number or a date. He kisses you again and pats you on the ass as he spins you towards the door. “Go on out so we are too suspicious.” He tells you quietly.

You falter a little, thinking he’d at least ask you out for a drink but you don’t push. You know his reputation so you nod, walking away and back into the party, grabbing another glass of wine. You watch Javi walk in a couple of minutes later, walking over to his dad to lean in and whisper in his ear. His eyes meet yours across the room and he winks at you, turning to walk out of the hall. You frown, watching him go and as soon as he’s gone, you down the glass of wine you’re drinking. Javier Peña is a ladies man and you didn’t expect to change that but he got what he wanted and left. It doesn’t sit right with you but there’s nothing you can do except enjoy the rest of the wine.

****

Javi hadn’t meant to hold up at the ranch for a solid two weeks, but fence after fence made it practically impossible to break away and when he was finally done working, he was too exhausted to clean up and go into town. Now, he finally has a day where nothing is planned and he’s decided to go to his tía’s restaurant to get a meal that wasn’t burned or raw. His late mother had definitely been the cook in the family. Dressed in clean jeans and a work shirt, he looks like most of the other farmers or ranchers as he walks in the door, chewing on his gum and wondering if you are working. 

Tuesday nights are always quiet. You are grateful for it after a busy weekend cooking and you are sitting at the bar, having a drink during your break when he walks in. You haven’t heard from Javier Peña since the moment he walked out of Danny’s wedding reception and it hurts a little. You wonder if he’s been ignoring you on purpose. He knows where you work and he could’ve asked Diana for your number. You wonder if he enjoyed having sex with you or if he regrets it. You turn to look over at him as he walks in and you see Sarah, the hostess greet him with a flirty “hi, how can I help you?”

“Table.” Javi keeps it simple as he looks around the restaurant and his brows shoot up when he sees you sitting at the bar. “With her.” He points to you. “Unless she’s off.”

Sarah looks over at you and she comes over with the menu, “he said he wants to sit with you.” You nod, gesturing to the table nearest to you, “sit him here.” She nods and goes back over to escort Javi to the table. You stand up to greet him, “didn’t expect to see you in here?” You say, pulling out the chair and you sit down with your drink while Sarah sets the menu down on the table for him.

Javi walks up and shoots you a small grin, a little self conscious as he scrubs his hands on his jeans. He knows you probably think he’s a dick for fucking you and dipping without another word. “Yeah.” He clears his throat. “Just don’t- uh, poison my food?” He jokes. “I fully expect you to spit in it.”

You smirk, “oh don’t worry, Peña, I’ll take care of you.” You tease, knowing you can’t really be mad when you knew who he was before you fucked him in the bathroom. “You want something to drink?” You ask and he nods, taking a seat. 

“Beer.” He says and you ask Sarah to get him a beer. 

“Take a look at the menu. Tell me what you want.” You tell him, knowing your break will be over shortly anyway.

“Take your time.” Javi insists, shaking his head. He takes the menu and hums as he gazes at it. “What would you recommend?” He asks. “Since you aren’t cooking?” He remembers you said that you cook here, but you’re obviously serving tonight. “Because I know you have things that only you do well.”

“We are always quiet on a Tuesday so I let my sous chef take over and I come out to be the manager so our manager and Diana get a day off. I take Monday and Wednesday off.” You explain, “mmm I’d suggest the ribeye with the baked potato and the rancher salad.” You suggest, knowing your sous chef can cook a mean steak.

“Then when you are done with your break, that’s what I’ll have.” He doesn’t want you to cut your break short, knowing that sometimes that’s the only time you have to decompress. You nod and he looks around. “It’s a nice place, I’ve never been here before.” He admits. “My tía didn’t have it when I left for the academy.”

“She’s worked hard to build this place up. I’ve been here since the beginning. She hired me straight out of culinary school and gave me a chance. I owe everything to her. She’s a great woman. Someone I aspire to be one day. A business owner.” You smile fondly, glancing around at the restaurant that’s changed over the years.

“Then it will happen for you.” Javi predicts. The food at the wedding had been amazing and he was impressed with your outlook. “Maybe you can buy her out when she’s ready to retire or do one of those food truck things.” He suggests. “They are getting big in D.C.”

You smile, liking the way he thinks, “maybe one day. My own place or this one but someday.” You nod, “by the way…I dont - I don’t usually do that kind of thing.” You bite your lip, voice lowered and Javi chuckles, leaning closer. 

“I, uh, I do.” He admits and you already knew that. 

You shake your head, smiling when you say, “I know. Pretty sure the whole town knows.”

He had figured the story about his conquests had gotten around. Laredo was a small town in a lot of ways and Lorraine’s family liked to bring it up according to his pop. “I don’t really do relationships because of my job.” He explains. “It’s hard to do, my former partner damn near got a divorce in Colombia.”

You can understand why he didn’t want attachments. Moving around, a life or death contingency within his job. He wouldn’t want to leave someone behind. “I can understand that. It’s hard for me too. I work a lot. And at night. Most men don’t want a girlfriend who works as much as I do.” You confess and Javi nods in understanding.

Your break is over and you stand regretfully to move over to write his dinner ticket. Javi finishes his beer and before you disappear back into the kitchen, he holds it up. “Can I have another, hermosa?”

You nod, handing the ticket to your sous chef before you go get Javi another beer. “So are you getting reassigned yet?” You ask, “or are you back home for good?” You are curious if he’s ready to settle at his childhood home or if he’s itching to escape suburbia again.

Javi sighs and his fingers itch for a cigarette to hold between them, fiddling with the coaster. “I don’t know.” He admits. “No one knows, but I’m on administrative leave.” Your eyes widen and he blows out another sigh and shrugs. “I got involved with the wrong people trying to catch Escobar. I’m on ice until they decide to can my ass or send me to Siberia.”

“Shit. I'm sorry. That’s - hopefully they bring you back. From what I’ve heard, you’re good at what you do so it’s their loss if you are let go.” You reach out to squeeze his shoulder until Sarah calls you over to help with the register. Javi’s food is brought over to his table and you let him take a few bites before you check in and ask how his food is.

“This is a fucking good steak.” Javi groans, spearing another piece of steak and shoving it into his mouth. Since he’s stopped smoking, his appetite has gotten a little better, or maybe it’s because he’s not drinking quite as much. “Fuck, what do you do to it?”

You smirk, loving that he is enjoying his meal. “It’s all in the seasoning and the sear.” You wink and he cuts into the steak again. “If you like the steak, you wait until you have dessert.” You flirt and walk off when a customer calls you over, swaying your hips a little more than usual as you walk away from Javi.

His eyes follow you, fixed on your ass as he chews his steak. Remembering how you sounded while he was fucking you in that bathroom. Wondering if he could talk you into a repeat performance. Maybe not at your job, that would be stupid to put you at risk. He only tears his eyes away to fork up a bite of his baked potato and take a drink of his beer as he watches you interact with your customer.

You swing back by and are happy that he’s halfway done with his food. Obviously enjoying it. “You decide on dessert?” You ask. 

Javi smirks at you, leaning forward and licks his lips. “Why don’t you decide for me, hermosa?” He asks. “Something….sweet.” 

You nod, biting your lip at the dark look in his eyes. Your fingers brush his as you take the menu from his hand. “I’ll get you something sweet.” You promise and make your way into the kitchen. You come back later with the chocolate soufflé that was your signature back in culinary school. “Here you go.” You set it down in front of him, eager to see what he thinks of it.

He lifts a brow and looks down at the delicious looking dessert and then back up at you. “Is there an option to eat this off you?” He asks with a wink before he picks up his spoon. “Think it might taste better.”

You chuckle, shaking your head. “No. Unfortunately not, but I do have a can of whipped cream and some chocolate sauce back at my place if you’re interested?” You smirk, wondering if he will take you up on your offer or if it was a one time thing at the church.

Javi hums and rubs his chin. “What time do you get off, hermosa?” He asks, wondering if you are being serious or just joking around. “Because I’m willing to stay.”

You step a little closer, “I gotta cash out but the kitchen closes in ten and I can leave Sarah and the others to lock up. Think you can wait ten minutes for me?” You ask him, wondering if he will or if he will go home.

He chuckles and nods. “I think it’ll take me ten minutes to eat this.” He jokes, already digging into the soufflé and groaning at the taste.

You nod, “take your time. I’ll go start cashing out.” You rub his shoulder as you walk away and make your way over to the register. Usually you’d stay until everyone is finished with their work but the temptation of Javi has you rushing out of the door for once. You finish cashing out and walk back over to Javi as he sets his fork down. He pays for his meal and you add it to the tally before you grab your things. “You ready to go?” You ask, unsure if he’s changed his mind.

“Do you want me to follow you?” He asks, pulling his keys from his pocket as he guides you towards the door. Even if you change your mind, he’s going to walk you to your car. “I know it’s Laredo, but it could still be dangerous.” He explains when he strides past his truck with you towards the far end of the parking lot where the workers park.

You like that he wants to guide you to your car and when you stand by it, you move closer to him, tilting your head to kiss his jaw. “You wanna come home with me?” You ask, reaching up to play with the button on his shirt.

“More than anything.” He groans, looking down at your lips. “I can’t promise you anything beyond tonight.” He cautions. “But I guarantee you won’t regret me in your bed. Stretching you out and tasting your cunt before I fuck you this time.”

You whimper at his words, knowing he’s capable of making you feel incredible. You nod, “I don’t want dinner and a movie, Javi. I want you to fuck me hard and make me cum.” You reach down to cup his cock through his jeans. “Follow me.” You order and unlock your car, “I am about ten minutes away.”

He waits until you are in your car before he hustles back to his truck and quickly jumps in. Eager to follow you out of the parking lot and to your house, he throws the gears into drive and pulls out behind you when you leave the gravel parking lot.

When you pull up outside of your home, you move fast to unlock your front door and flick on the lights and Javi isn’t too far behind you, his hands finding your waist just as you set your purse down. You spin in his arms, surging forward to press your lips to his as he kicks the door shut behind him.

Javi groans into your mouth, pulls you close as he crowds you. Licking eagerly before pulling away. “Where’s your bedroom, hermosa?” He demands, pulling your shirt out of your pants, and sliding his hands up your back to start undoing your bra. “I really want to see it.”

You love how eager he is, walking backwards towards your bedroom. You work on unbuttoning his shirt, letting him push you into your bedroom when you fumble behind you to open the door. “Here it is.” You announce as you push his shirt off of his shoulders.

“Good.” He huffs as he tosses the shift down on the floor, and starts to pull yours off. “Don’t think I could last much longer.” He admits. “Thought about putting you up on your bar.”

“I would’ve loved that.” You tell him with utmost honesty. “I wouldn’t have complained.” You confess breathlessly as he works on pulling your bra down your arms after your shirt joins his on the floor. “Wanted to touch you earlier but I want you to fuck me on my bed.”

“In a bed is better.” He can admit that, even as much as he enjoyed that bathroom. “Especially if it has you naked in it.” He palms your tits and groans, looking down as he does. “You like these being sucked on, hermosa?”

You moan, nodding as he squeezes your tits. “Yesss.” You hiss when he pinches your nipples and you reach down to unbutton his pants. “Need you inside of me again. Thought about it every damn day since the wedding.” You confess, reaching in to squeeze his cock. “Thought about sucking your cock too.”

“Shit. Yeah?” He hisses and twitches in your hand. “I wouldn’t mind you doing that.” He admits. “But later. Right now I want to see how you taste.” Javi flashes you a smirk. “See if you are better than that dessert.”

“That dessert is my signature so I doubt it, Peña.” You smirk and release his cock when he unbuttons your pants and pushes them down. You kick off your shoes and move your pants aside as he guides you back to lay down on the bed in your underwear. “Don’t forget the socks.” You tease, wiggling your toes once you’re laying down and Javi’s fingers slide along your calf until he’s pulling your sock off.

Javi chuckles and lifts a foot and playfully bites your ankle as he shuffles onto the bed. “You look pretty on that bed.” He hums, his fingers running up and down your thigh and around your knee.

You know he’s flattering you but you accept it, hoping he thinks you are pretty especially when he’s had his choice of so many women. “You’re not too bad yourself, Peña.” You coo, looking up at him as he hooks his fingers in your panties after tossing your other sock over his shoulder. You lift your hips so he can pull your underwear down and once that’s tossed too, you spread your legs for him.

“Shit.” He hisses, admiring the neat, trimmed hair over your cunt. “That’s a pretty sight.” He slaps your thigh and starts to lean in, kissing and nipping down your legs as he settles between your thighs with his jeans still on. It will be the only way he doesn’t cum before he wants to.

You shift onto your elbows so you can watch him as he shuffles closer. He presses kisses to your thighs, his dark eyes focused on you and you inhale sharply when his hot breath fans over your wet cunt. “Please.” You breathe out and your mouth falls open in a silent cry when his tongue finally slides through your folds.

Javi groans, enjoying the heady, tangy taste of your cunt and his fingers hold tight to your hips as he flicks his tongue over your clit. He wants to make you cry out in pleasure, soak his face and cum for him. He groans again and keeps his dark eyes on you as he traces a path down to your entrance to circle it with his tongue and pushes inside.

God, his tongue is way too skilled to be real. Those eyes focused on you make you shiver and you shift onto one elbow, reaching down to run your fingers through his hair. “Fuck baby.” You sigh when his nose presses against your clit while his tongue pushes deep.

He hums and smirks as he curls his tongue up into you. He knows you are enjoying yourself and the way you start to tug on his hair and grind yourself into his face. He squeezes your hip to encourage it.

You whimper, loving how he is letting you use his face to get off. He’s enthusiastic and you wonder if he’s like this with every woman he’s with. Even the ones he’s paid for. “Shit, Jav. So good. So damn good.” You pant, pulling on his hair again until you are collapsing back on the bed.

You nod, reaching down to drag him on top of you so you can kiss him. His tongue immediately slides into your mouth and you push on his chest, wanting him to move onto his back. He follows your unspoken order and shifts to lay down. You kiss him again, along his jaw and down his neck. Licking into his clavicle until you reach his nipples and you flick your tongue over each one, kissing down his stomach until you are settled between his legs. You reach into his jeans to pull his cock out, wrapping your fingers around him and you take a moment to admire his girth. “Fuck baby.” You murmur, meeting his gaze as you lean forward to wrap your lips around the tip.

“Shit.” He hisses, watching with lust filled eyes as your mouth stretches around his cock. Loving how eager you are. “Fuck, hermosa, that’s it. You like this don’t you? Like sucking my cock and seeing how hard I am for you?” He asks, grinning when you hum around him and take him deeper into your mouth.

You really do love it. Knowing that he’s in your bed out of all the women in Laredo has you wanting to show off so you take him deeper, choking slightly as you stretch your jaw until your nose brushes the coarse hair at the base of his cock.

“F-fuck.” He grunts, reaching down and cupping your cheek. “You’re so pretty like this. Sucking my cock. Gonna fuck you, but one day I’ll come down your throat.” He knows that he will come back here if you let him. He would be here as often as he can.

You moan around him, letting him know you’d love that as he pulls you off of his cock, making you whine in protest. “Baby.” You huff but he’s grabbing your shoulders, “want you to ride me.” He grunts and you don’t argue with him, straddling him as he works on kicking off his shoes and his jeans. You reach back to help him before you lift up to grip his cock, positioning him at your entrance and you slowly sink down onto him.

Javi groans your name as you take him. His hands on your hip, he watches in awe of how good you look while you are stretching your cunt out on his cock. He has always loved a woman on top and he surges up to press his lips to yours.

You moan into his mouth, adjusting to his thick length inside of you for a moment before you brace your hands on your headboard to start moving. Your tits swaying as you grind back onto him, your moans absorbed into his mouth.

Javi grunts, groaning as you start to ride him, the slow roll of your hips starting to speed up until you are bouncing on his dick like you are trying to win a rodeo. “Fuck, hermosa.” He hisses and thrusts up into you. 

You shift back, letting go of the headboard so you can ride him fast and hard, slamming down onto his cock as you seek your orgasm. He groans your name and you squeeze your tits, throwing your head back as you moan his name. "So good baby. So fucking good." You pant, getting closer to your orgasm.

Javi chases your hand away from your breast, replacing it with his own and moaning as you clench down around him. “Fuck.” He pants, squeezing your tit and then leaning forward to bite your nipple. Your gasp thrills him and he suckles to soothe the pain.

You whimper at the way he switches over to your other breast, sucking and biting and you can’t take it anymore. “Oh oh oh!” You moan, your eyes closing as you cum, thighs clenching against his sides as you grip him inside of your cunt, soaking him with your juices. “Yesss.” You hiss, riding out your high.

Javi watches you, groaning at how you soak him and squeeze him inside your throbbing little cunt. Gritting his teeth, he rocks his hips up to chase his own orgasm. “Fuck, fuck you’re so tight.”

His fingers dig into your hips as he fucks up into you, seeking his own orgasm, and you kiss along his jaw. “Cum for me baby. Fill me up.” You beg, “wanna feel it.” You bite down on his jaw, clenching around his cock to egg him on.

It doesn’t take too much longer, half a dozen thrust before he is panting out your name. Thrusting deep and burying his cock in your tight walls as he paints them with hot spurts of his cum.

You whimper, loving how it feels, and you let him rock into you until he stops. You tilt your head so you can kiss him, loving how he feels and sounds, and you know you want to do this again. “So good baby.” You murmur, caressing his cheek.

“Really good.” Javi grunts as he kisses you back two, three times before he starts to pull out of you gently. Rolling onto his back, he opens his arm to let you curl against him if you want to. “Good way to relax after work, right?”

You nod, “the best way.” You curl into his side, caressing his chest as you both are silent, just relaxing and enjoying the aftermath. “I want to keep doing this. I know you don’t - I don’t expect flowers or dinners but I want you in my bed.” You lay out your expectations, knowing he can’t give you more than this.

“I don’t mind dinner.” Javi frowns slightly. “I just- I don’t know what I’m doing.” He admits. “I can’t promise you anything more than a good time and respect.” He looks at you and knows that he would like to spend more time with you. “And I’ll let you know if I want to move on. I have respect for you. I won’t sleep with anyone else while I’m in your bed.”

You appreciate his honesty, knowing that most men would have fed you some lines to keep their place in your bed. You shift to sit up on your elbow, looking down at him, “then let's just enjoy what we have without expectations. Dinners, drinks…whatever we wanna do and when it becomes boring or we don’t want to do it, we tell the other. Deal?” You ask, knowing you want to be on the same page to protect your heart.

“That sounds good to me, hermosa.” Javi reaches up and cups your cheek, leaning forward to kiss you softly. “Although I don’t see myself getting bored with you.” He admits with a smirk. “You might get tired of me. You don’t work tomorrow, right?”

You shake your head, “day off. Sous chef takes over. You wanna do something?” You ask, shifting to curl around him again now that you know he’s not gonna run out of the door.

“I’ve got to do a little work in the morning  with my pop, but it shouldn't be more than a couple of hours.” He hums. “Could be back before you wake up. What do you want to do?”

“You wanna go to the movies? Jurassic Park sounds good.” You reach up to play with his hair. 

“Sure, baby.” Javi says and you nod, “I’ll check the paper for the times in the morning.” You tell him and kiss his chest. “Maybe if you get back before I wake up, you can wake me up properly?” You tease softly, getting sleepy after he has made you cum.

He snorts and smirks as you start to soften against him. “If you’re lucky.” He teases back and strokes your bare back softly. “Go to sleep, hermosa.” He breathes out. “I’ll leave early, but I’ll be back.”

****

You smile when Javi carries the popcorn and soda into the movie theater for you. He paid for the tickets and you feel like this is a proper date. Still giddy from waking up to his tongue between your folds, you find a seat in the back row and grab a handful of popcorn when you are settled.

Javi smirks as you shove the popcorn in your mouth as he takes a sip of the soda. It’s been a long time since he’s had soda, but he enjoys the bubbles. “So what is this movie about again?” He whispers as the lights go down and the previews start. “I don’t remember.”

“Dinosaurs.” You whisper, leaning in to take a sip of the soda. The previews seem to take forever and you enjoy the way Javi leans into you. It’s the middle of the day so there’s only a few other people in the theater. Your hand finds his thigh and you squeeze it, settling back to watch the movie.

Javi leans back and throws his arm around you as the open scenes start. Relaxed and enjoying himself, he jumps slightly when the creature pulls the worker into the enclosure. “Shit.” He hisses. “Rather chase drug dealers.”

You chuckle, “afraid of the dinos, baby?” You tease and he scoffs but his lack of reply makes you chuckle. You finish the popcorn and soda and enjoy the movie but his hand on your shoulder is rubbing your skin and you can smell his cologne. “Javi.” You whisper, kissing his jaw.

“Hmmm?” He’s engrossed in the movie but he looks over at you in confusion. “You need to go to the bathroom?” He asks quietly, sure that you want him to grab more popcorn or drink while you are doing that.

“No.” You murmur, sliding your hand up higher until you are squeezing his cock through his jeans. You want him, even with the less than romantic movie playing. He makes you feel like a teenager and you want him in any way you can have him. “Need you.” You murmur, kissing his neck.

“Here?” Javi glances around the theater and has to admit that there aren’t many people here. “Less private than the bathroom.” He chuckles as his other hand slides up your sundress. “You want to sit on my cock while you watch the dinosaurs?” He asks. 

His words send a bolt to your cunt, knowing you could get caught and his fingers slide higher along your thigh. "Yes. Yes baby." You whimper, working on unbuttoning his pants and you pull his hard cock out. Smirking when you realize how much you affect him, and you shift to sit in his lap. He pulls your panties aside and you sink down onto him, biting your lip to smother your moan. You lean back against his chest, enjoying the feel of him inside of you for a moment.

Javi groans quietly, trying to keep from bringing attention to you. “Fuck.” He reaches around you and presses his fingers to your clit and starts to rub it while you clench around his length. The movie plays, keeping him distracted enough that he doesn’t try to rock his hips up. Just letting you sit on him and pulse around him while you grind down subtly.

You grind as much as you can without drawing attention to yourselves. His hands on your thighs and you place your hands over them, working yourself on his cock. He groans into your ear, soft and just the right noise to make you clench around him.

He huffs happily as you work yourself closer to orgasm. “Such a dirty girl.” He groans. “Never gonna be able to watch a movie without thinking about you on my cock.” He promises.

You bring his hand back to your clit, biting your lip to smother your moan as he twitches inside of you and your walls flutter around him. “Fuckkk.” You exhale breathlessly as you clamp down on his cock.

It’s hard to let you ride out an orgasm without moaning and rocking up into you faster but he doesn’t want to give you away. “That’s it.” He hums.

You want him to cum too so you shift off of his cock, grateful that there’s no one in the row with you as you kneel down on the sticky floor and take him into your mouth. It’s dirty but you love it, wanting to please him and make him cum.

“Shit.” He hisses, unable to believe you are sucking his cock on a theater floor. Cupping your cheek, his dark eyes watch your cheeks hollow around him. “Fuck, I’m gonna cum, hermosa.” He warns you, aware of some women’s disgust with swallowing.

You don’t pull off, you close your eyes as you swallow around his cock, eagerly taking every drop he gives you. You swallow and listen to his harsh breaths as he struggles to keep quiet while you swallow his load.

His eyes flutter and he struggles to keep them open to watch you swallow his cum. The roar of the dinosaur in the movie is how he feels right about now and he caresses your cheek until you are ready to pull off of him with a small pop.

You shift to sit back down while he tucks himself away. You lean in to kiss his jaw and he turns his head to press his lips to yours, sliding his tongue into your mouth. You cup his cheek and enjoy the kiss, loving that he doesn’t care about the lingering taste of his cum in your mouth.

Javi kisses you until you finally pull away, a pleased little smirk on your lips. Wrapping his arm around you, he’s pulling you close and chuckling as he presses his lips to your hairline. “You’re gonna be trouble, I can feel it.” He teases.

You chuckle, “and you love it.” You counter and he nods, “I do.” You smile, leaning into him again and you finish watching the movie. After you head back out into the hot Texas air, Javi guides you to his truck and you pull him close to kiss him again. “Never gonna forget that movie.” You tease, “best movie I’ve ever seen.”

“Yep, loved the - the…” he tries to think of the word and fails. “The music.” He finally decides. “Very dramatic music.” He laughs when you give him a knowing look and moves over to the door to open it for you to climb into the cab of his truck. “It was. I’ll never listen to that score without thinking about our watching this movie.”

You grin as he drives back to your place, watching him as he maneuvers the roads of Laredo. He’s so handsome, it makes your stomach twist and you hope this turns into something more than just friends with benefits. He has his meeting in D.C in a couple of weeks and you wonder what’s gonna happen next. A part of you hopes he stays so you can see what you could become, but a larger part of you knows he will be leaving soon so you will enjoy every moment you can have with him.

**** 

Javi looks over at you, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel to the sounds of the song playing on the radio. “What?” He demands, rolling his eyes at you even though his grin is playful. He had picked you up from work, like he had every evening you worked for the past two weeks. He’s also been carrying you into work the next morning.

You smile, shifting closer to him, “can’t I admire you, Peña?” You ask, leaning in to kiss his neck as he drives to your place. “Doesn’t your pa wonder why you are never home nowadays?” You ask, knowing Chucho has to be aware and has been gossiping with Diana who asked you how it’s going with Javi…all while sporting a shit eating grin on her face.

“He’s just happy I’m not bothering him.” Javi snorts, having endured Chucho’s smirks every day when he had left the ranch. The man loved to give him hell, so his lecture was from a place of love.

You giggle, “now you’re bothering me.” You joke and Javi rolls his eyes again. 

“You love me bothering you.” He counters and you smirk, “and you love bothering me.” You retort and he clicks his tongue, “well…” He trails off, “sometimes.” He teases and you go to slap his side but he grabs your hand, bringing it to his lips to press a kiss to the back and you melt. 

“When are you leaving for D.C?” You ask, a little breathless and he keeps your hand in his.

“Next week.” He squeezes your hand a little harder and sighs. “I’m not confident they will let me stay.” He admits quietly. “The story was big and she named names.” It had been a slap in the face, but what do you expect when you make deals with the devil. Or in his case, a drug dealer. “I’ll see what they say, but I’m not apologizing for doing my job.”

“Well they’d be stupid to not want to take you back.” You tell him, “and whatever happens, I’m here for you.” You promise, knowing that you aren’t certain of your future together but you’ll be there for him no matter what.

****

“Fuck, baby.” You moan when Javier pushes inside of you. It’s early, before dawn, and Javier has to leave soon to catch his flight to D.C but you woke up in the middle of the night with a need for him. He’s hovering over you, the light from the hall casting a glow over him so you can barely see his eyes but you love how it feels like you’re the only two people that exist. In the quiet of the morning, you aren’t disturbed by anything.

“Gonna miss you, miss this.” He had already packed and said goodbye to his pop before spending the night at your house. His lips hover over yours and he kisses you again and again as he rocks into you. “Shit, you feel so good.”

You caress his back, wrapping your legs around him to pull him even closer. “Gonna miss you. So damn much.” You sigh, tilting your head back so he can kiss along your neck. It’s intoxicating and you know you’re gonna ache when he’s gone, like a part of you is missing.

He wants to suggest that you come with him, but he can’t do that to you. You have a busy week at the restaurant and that wasn’t the deal when you started this. It’s supposed to be casual. “Gonna miss my tongue.” He chuckles, pressing that particular muscle to your pulse and lapping at your skin. “And the way I like to wake you up.”

You giggle breathlessly, "your tongue, your cock, your fingers, your voice. I'm gonna miss everything about you, baby." You assure him, "gonna miss you in my bed." You promise and slide your hands down his back to squeeze his ass, pushing him impossibly deeper inside of you.

“Fuck, hermosa.” He grunts, pressing his lips to yours again. Every thrust is slow and deep, making sure to draw out what will be the last time together before he flys out. Unsure of what the future holds, he wants to make this memorable and his teeth find your bottom lip to bite gently.

You whimper into his mouth, getting closer to your orgasm with every rock of his hips but you don’t want this to end. This could be the last time if he doesn’t come back to Laredo and you know you’ll miss him terribly. You’ve spent nearly every day together since that night he came into the restaurant. “Javi. Oh Javi.” You moan, shifting your hips so he is grinding against your clit. “Gonna - so close, baby.” You confess breathlessly.

“That’s it, baby.” He groans, feeling you get closer. Every panted moan just makes his chest swell in pride as you start to shake underneath him. “Cum for me. Want you to soak me.” He kisses along your jaw and moans in your ear. “Please baby, cum.”

His voice, raspy and still sleep muddled, sends you over the edge with a cry of his name. You clamp down on his cock with a low moan, soaking him and your nails bite into his back as you shake beneath him. The intensity of the orgasm has your eyes closing as you shudder through it.

“Goooooooooodddddd.” Javi groans, loving how intense it feels as your body locks down under him. The words that he’s been thinking flutter to the front again but he pushes it away. He can’t saddle you with that and you are happy here. “Fuck, baby.” He huffs, following after you just a short, frantic half dozen thrusts later. Moaning your name as he spills inside you.

You enjoy him inside of you, caressing his back and softly kissing him as he rides out his high. It’s early so you aren’t in a rush despite him needing to get to the airport soon. The words would be so easy to say but you can’t. You can’t give him your heart when you know he doesn’t want it or need it. You swallow harshly, tears stinging in your eyes and you bury your face in his chest to breathe him in.

“It’s okay.” He knows what you aren’t saying because he’s not saying it either. “I’ll give you a call.” He promises. “Letting you know what to say. If you’re gonna have to put up with me for longer.” He jokes as he holds you close for another long moment. “Do you want to shower with me, or go back to sleep?”

You appreciate his honesty. He’s never been anything but upfront with how he operates and you went into this knowing his reputation. You gather yourself together and lean back to look up at him. “I wanna shower with you.” You tell him, knowing you don’t want to miss this time you have left with him if he’s going to be reassigned. He pulls out of you and you exhale shakily, letting him move off of you and you shuffle off of the bed to walk into your bathroom to turn on the shower.

Javi follows you, frowning slightly as he starts to look around the room for anything that he might have left behind. He doesn’t want you to have to clean up his stuff, although one of his shirts is purposefully left on the dresser for you. He had liked how you looked in it, buttons open and exposing your body underneath.

You check the water temperature and it's nice and warm so you step in, grabbing the body wash and you sense Javier step in behind you, his hands finding your hips. “You gonna get me a souvenir from D.C?” You tease, turning your head to look up at him.

“Sure.” He smirks at you and wraps his arms around your back. “What do you want? One of those lighters? Coffee cup? T-shirt?”

You smirk, “snow globe. It’s stupid but I’ve collected them since I was a little kid. My dad used to get me one when he would travel for work so I have a collection from all over the country but not D.C.” You reveal and squirt some body wash into your palm, setting it down before you begin washing him.

“I’ll get you one.” He promises, making a mental note to make sure he finds you the best snow globe he can. “One that is perfect to finish off your collection.” Even if he doesn’t come back to Texas, he will send it to you. “Are you working today?” He asks as you wash his body for him.

You nod, “Diana wants me to work on the specials for the weekend. She wants to try something new…brunch.” You wrinkle your nose, “mimosas and omelets so I gotta train another chef for breakfast food.”

“Oh, that will be good.” He nods. “Those are popular now, aren’t they?” He asks, frowning slightly. 

“Yes they are.” You assure him with a smile, making him chuckle. 

“You’ll have to tell me stories about the drunk ladies being loud.”

You grin, "oh I'm sure there will be stories. Danny already agreed to be security." You joke and continue washing him. "Shit, he's gonna have his hands full." Javi jokes and you giggle, not saying anything else for a few moments until you reach up with soapy hands to cup his cheeks, "I'm gonna miss you, Peña."

“I’m gonna miss you too, hermosa.” He looks into your eyes seriously. “It’s been a lot of fun and I’ve enjoyed spending time with you.” He can’t admit how much he’s enjoyed it, but the sentiment is softer and sweeter than just a fling.

You finish washing him and he reciprocates, washing you and you reach out to wrap your arms around his neck once you are both standing under the water. You don’t say anything, just standing there until the water goes cold while he presses soft kisses to your skin. You step out of the shower and grab a towel for you and hand one to Javi. You’re both quiet as you get dressed after brushing your teeth - Javi ended up keeping a toothbrush at your place - and you head into the kitchen to make coffee.

You don’t say much but he guesses there isn’t much to say. Dressing in jeans and a button up, it’s a bit different from what he was wearing on the ranch, and he carefully repacks his bag. The hanging bag is in your living room with his suits in it and you had teased him that you couldn’t see him wearing a suit at all. Bringing his carryon into the living room, he sets it down and wanders into the kitchen to find you.

You lean into him when his hands find your hips as you pour his coffee and you wonder if this is what life would be like with him. Waking up to him, going to sleep with him. You can see a life with him and that’s what makes you so sad that you won’t get the chance to have that. You turn to kiss him when he leans towards you and you spin to hand him the cup of coffee.

“You taste better than coffee.” He takes the cup and sets it down behind you so he can cup your cheek. Feeling slightly desperate since he doesn’t know what is happening, he pours himself into the kiss and holds you close.

You wrap your arms around his neck, pressing yourself against him and he pushes you up against the counter. You don’t know if or when you’re gonna see him again so you enjoy his kiss, savoring it for when you’re alone. You pat his chest after your hands slide down once he pulls back. You look into those dark eyes, knowing you need to have this conversation. “Javi, if…if you’re gonna go back to Colombia, I need you to do whatever it takes to keep safe. We aren’t together so I know what you need to keep going. Whatever it takes to get you home again. It doesn’t matter what you do if it keeps you safe. We aren’t together so I can’t judge you if you…you know.” You trail off, not wanting to vocalize fully what you’re trying to say.

He nods seriously, frowning slightly. “And if you….find someone, I’ll-“ he swallows. “I’ll wish you the best and stay away.” He feels an astute sense of jealousy at the idea, but he can’t demand that you wait for him. He has no clue what would happen and he doesn’t want to do that to you. It’s best if he just lets you move on. “You deserve to find happiness, hermosa.” He promises, leaning in and kissing you again softly. “I’ll call you, okay?” He asks.

You nod, wanting to cry but you need to be strong. You will know if you're meant to be if he calls you from D.C and tells you he's coming home. You kiss his jaw and step back from him so you can work on making your cup of coffee. You sip your coffees while the morning news plays on the T.V on your counter and eventually, it's time for him to go. You watch him as he puts his carry on and garment bag in his truck then he's facing you to say goodbye. "Whatever happens, I will never regret meeting you at the wedding and spending this time with you." You promise him, "I - you know what I want to say."

He does know, nodding as he puts his hand on your waist to pull you close one last time. “I know.” He doesn’t say it either but he leans his forehead against yours, his nose brushing yours. “Be a good girl, hermosa.” He murmurs, smirking slightly. “Okay?”

You surge forward to press your lips to his, hungry and desperate to absorb as much of him as possible before he drives down the street. He devours you back until someone honks and you pull back with a grin, "you know I can't be good." You tease and he chuckles, squeezing your waist before he lets go. "Well, as good as you can be." He winks and you nod, stepping back from him. He winks at you after he gets into his truck, closing the door and winding down the window so he can get one last look at you. You blow him a kiss before he drives off and you stand there until his truck turns the corner to head towards the highway. With a choked sound, you make your way inside to get ready for work. It's going to be a long wait until he calls you.

****

Javi taps his hand on the top of the pay phone as he waits for the call to connect. He had memorized your phone number and your address, the snow globe and some other trinkets for you from D.C. already packed up and shipped out. He had actually done his shopping as soon as he had gotten in. He hadn’t wanted to forget, or not have time. He hears the phone ring about four times and as soon as he’s expecting the machine to pick up, your voice comes across the line breathlessly. “Hello? Hello?” Your voice makes him smile, albeit sadly. 

“Hey hermosa, you miss me yet? Or happy to have your extra pillow back?”

Your heart flutters at hearing his voice, "you know I miss you, Peña but it's nice to spread out at night." You tease, remembering the way he'd wrap around you while he slept. You know why he's calling you, the tone in his voice. "You got reassigned?" You guess, wanting to hear him say it.

“They are sending me back to Colombia.” He admits quietly. “Station chief.” He was surprised by that one. He had imagined going back in disgrace, but they want him to take down the Cali Cartel, or that’s what they say they want him to do. It could just be a bogus assignment.

Your eyebrows raise, “station chief?” You ask and he hums. You aren’t surprised that they want him back there. From what you’ve heard, he’s a good agent and you know that his job is important to save lives, no matter how much you want him back in Texas. “I - wow. That’s good news.” You half lie, tears stinging in your eyes but you try to remain strong for him.

“It is.” Javier knows that he’s being given a second chance and he wants to redeem himself. Do things the right way. He wants this to show the brass that they were wrong for sending him home and allow him to see this through to completion. “I leave in two days. I’ll call you when I get settled, okay?”

You bite your lip for a moment until you reply, “yeah. Of course. I’ll speak to you soon, Jav.” You muster up a smile so you sound happy for him when you both say goodbye. It’s hard to be happy when you know he’s leaving to go to Colombia for God knows how long but you made an agreement to both continue living your lives if he didn’t come back to Laredo so that’s what you’ll do…continue living your life without him.

****

It’s been twenty-two months since he’s been back in the US. Twenty-two months since he’s seen you and he’s more than a little nervous as he pulls up to the restaurant. He hadn’t called and told you he was coming home, he couldn’t. It’s been three months since he’s called you, caught up chasing the bad guys and figuring out that no one was innocent. He sighs as he throws the truck into park. Wondering if this was a mistake, and if he should bother. There’s only one way to find out, and he shoves the door open so he can go see if you still want him.

You look up from the cash register as the door opens and your jaw drops when you see a ghost of your past. “Javier.” You exhale and step out from behind the bar, brushing yourself down as you walk over to him, “you’re back.” You grin and he nods, “hello, hermosa.” He greets you and you surge forward to wrap your arms around him. “I can’t believe you’re back.” You gasp, breathing him in and reminded of your time together nearly two years ago.

Chuckling, Javi wraps his arms around you and his hug is probably a bit tighter than he would have normally given, but he’s so fucking happy to see you. “Have you been as good as you could be?” He asks jokingly, wondering if you’ve moved on or if you’re still single.

You open your mouth to respond but you hear, "well she's been a good girl until now." You look around Javier's shoulder to see Kyle, your boyfriend of 3 months walking into the restaurant. 

You reluctantly push Javi away from you, turning to walk towards Kyle. "Javi. This is Kyle, he's-" 

"her boyfriend." Kyle answers for you, curling his arm around you possessively.

Javi tries not to frown at the over aggressive display, but he holds his hand out to shake the other man’s. “Javier Peña.” He offers. “I’ve been out of the country for a couple of years.” He doesn’t want to make waves for you. “Just wanted to catch up with an old friend.”

Kyle nods, shaking his hand a little harder than necessary and you chuckle nervously. "Maybe we can get a drink and catch up properly another time?" You suggest, looking at Kyle who offers you a forced grin, "sure. We can arrange that, baby." His hand slides down to squeeze your ass and you glance around the restaurant until your eyes meet Javi's. "It was good to meet you but this one has work to do." Kyle slaps your ass and you wince a little, nodding towards Javi. 

"I better get to work. I'll call you." You promise and Kyle drags you back, "you forgot to kiss me." He complains and pulls you into him so he can kiss you in front of Javier.

The message is heard, loud and clear. He nods and backs away as Kyle seemingly tries to deepen the kiss into some sort of face sucking event. Every instinct that he has developed during his time in the DEA tells him that Kyle is bad news. Although he’s aware that he’s also jealous, so he might be imagining things. Turning around, Javi hates that he missed his opportunity, but he will respect your relationship. He will be your friend and forget that he had hoped to go home with you tonight.

You hate that Kyle feels the need to possess you like that, especially in front of Javier and it makes you question your entire relationship. He’s been so sweet and kind until now, making you feel wanted. Something you haven’t experienced since Javier left and after pining for him for a year and a half, you decided to open yourself up to someone else, not expecting to find someone to be with but you know that Kyle doesn’t make you feel even a third of what Javi does.

Making his way back to the ranch, Javi spends the entire drive feeling sorry for himself. Telling himself that he should have told you how he felt, called more. He sighs and wonders if he would actually hear from you, or if that was a polite brush off. At least you didn’t hate him, that should count for something.

Kyle came back to pick you up after work and you were immediately confused by how cold he is as he drives to his place. You’d arrange to watch a movie at his place earlier and you wish you hadn’t now, that you had driven to work because you want time to process seeing Javier again and you want to call him. “It was nice to see your friend earlier.” Kyle says and you sense his tone. 

“Yeah. Javier hasn’t been in town for a couple of years and we met at Danny’s wedding.” You explain and Kyle grips the steering wheel. 

“You fuck him?” He asks and you swallow harshly, “it was two years ago. I haven’t seen him since he left to go to Colombia.” You answer, not wanting to lie, and Kyle doesn’t reply. You bite your lip as Kyle pulls into his driveway and you get out, wishing again that you could go home.

Kyle rocks his jaw when he gets out of the car and walks around the hood to take your arm and walk you towards the door. He doesn’t like that fucker at the bar, he smells like a goddamn cop and he doesn’t need no fucking cop snooping around his business or his girl. When you are at his front door, he shoves you against it, getting up in your face. “I don’t fucking want you around him.” He spits, holding your arms tight.”You aren’t fucking him again.” 

You wince, “you’re hurting me.” 

Kyle scoffs, “you deserve more than that.” He hisses, “fucking that guy.” 

You shake your head, “it was two years ago.” You try to wiggle out of his grip, “let go of me.” You plead and Kyle chuckles darkly, letting go of you. 

He opens the front door and you rub your upper arms. He locks the door behind him, “you ain’t gonna call him. You ain’t gonna fuck him. I’m gonna teach you a lesson, you little whore. You’ve probably been fucking him the whole time and he’s lying about being gone.” Kyle growls and you shake your head. 

“I haven’t seen him for two fucking years!” You yell and Kyle scoffs, “you’re a fucking slut.” 

You shake your head again, getting angry, “if I was, I would never leave his bed. He fucked me better than you do.” You chuckle humorlessly, wanting to hurt him like he is hurting you. 

Kyle’s face grows dark and he steps back, making you think he’s gonna stalk off but he doesn’t. He growls and his hand comes up to slap you in the face, making you gasp in shock and pain.

“Fucking bitch!” He screams. “No one fucking insults me like that. No one! I’ll show you how I fuck you better.” He threatens, grabbing your arm to start dragging you through the house towards his bedroom. “Fucking slut! After everything I’ve done for you. You’re just gonna fucking leave me? I don’t fucking think so.”

You try to drag yourself away from him, terrified for what he wants to do to you so you tug on your arm, trying to get out of his grip. “Let me go, you motherfucker!” You yell, “fucking let me go!” You scream and he pulls you upright. You take your chance to kick him in the groin, making him howl and let go of you. You shove him while he’s cupping his balls and he falls down. You take the moment to run to the front door, scrambling to unlock it and you manage to get it open, running down the driveway and along the street, screaming for help.

“You bitch!” Kyle chokes out, cupping his balls and squeezing out some tears. “When I get my fucking hands on you, I’m gonna make you pay.” His groin is on fire and he curses you, imagining how he would make you cry for kicking him and humiliating him. 

One of the neighbors down the street opens her door and you run up to her, sobbing as you beg for help. “Come in dear. Let’s call the police.” She says, ushering you into her front room and she grabs her phone, calling the police but you shake your head, asking to use her phone. 

“I need - I need to call Javi.” You manage through your cries but the woman calls the police. “Please let me - I need to call him.” You plead and she hands you her phone. With shaking hands and through tears, you phone Chucho’s ranch and Javi who answers with a grunted “hello.” You sob at hearing his voice, “Ja-Jav. I- I- I need you.” You choke, unable to speak properly.

Javi had been cleaning the dishes when he had picked up the phone in the kitchen. “Hermosa? What’s wrong? Where are you?” The frying pan is dropped into the sink and he grips the phone tightly, his eyebrows knitting together in concern. He has never heard you sound like that and he doesn’t like it. He’s heard enough scared women before, on the verge of hysteria because of something horrible. “Where are you, I’m coming.” 

“I- he- Kyle. He tried- I need you. He - he nearly-” You choke and hand the phone to the kind woman, “can you tell - tell him where - where I am?” You ask her, choking on sobs as the reality of what could’ve happened still hasn’t hit you.

“Is someone with you?” Javi has already grabbed his keys but he needs an address. “Hello? Goddamnit! Hello?” 

The woman winces and introduces herself. “Señora Álvarez, señor.” She murmurs before she rattles off her address. 

“You tell her I’m on my way.” Javi rushes out. “Tell her I’ll be right there! Stay there! I’m coming.” He slams the phone down and rushes out to the truck. He has no idea what might have happened, but from  your panicked voice, it isn’t good and he doesn’t even hesitate to pull his gun out of the glove box as soon as he gets into the truck. Slinging rocks as he shoots down the drive to race across town to you. 

You sob when the police arrive, barely able to get the story out when all you want is Javier. You sob, asking them where Javi is and you hear him as he pushes his way into the house, past the police officers and when he kneels in front of you, you surge forward to wrap your arms around his neck.

Softly shushing you, even as he is listening to the police chief tell him what happened, Javi scowls. 

That bastard needs to fucking die for laying his hands on you, Javi’s arms tight around your body and he starts to rub your back. “And the bastard denies all of it?” The chief had sent an officer over to Kyle’s house and he had answered the door, telling the officer that you had gotten mad at him and told him that you would ruin his life. It throws your story into question, but Javi believes you. “Hijo de puta.” He groans when the officer nods. 

You pull him close and shake your head, “he said - he was going to rape-” You choke out, unable to finish your sentence as you bury your face in Javi’s neck. “He slapped me and tried to drag me in- into the bedroom.”

Jaiv growls and tightens his hold on you, furious that the bastard would try to hurt you. Instinctively, he knows that it was because of him. “Fucking bastard.” He hisses, wishing he had his badge still, he would go kill the motherfucker. Pulling back, he holds your chin in his fingers and tilts your head towards the light. “Your face is swollen.” He looks at the officers. “Photograph this.” He orders, even though he has no authority. 

The cops don’t argue, taking photos of your face and your upper arms from where he grabbed you. You manage to calm down enough to give your story to the officers who don’t seem convinced but you just want to go home. Javi thanks the officers and the woman who gave you refuge and you let him guide you out to his truck. “I don’t want to go home.” You admit, terrified that Kyle is going to find you there.

Javi shakes his head. “You aren’t going home.” He promises you. “You're coming home with me.” He explains. “My pop has a ranch.” You know this, but he’s talking to keep your mind occupied. “I can protect you and you’ll be safe from that asshole there.”

You nod, getting into the passenger side and he gets into the drivers side after shutting your door. Your eyes are sore from crying and you feel exhausted now that you’re safe with Javier. “Thank you for coming to get me.” You tell him softly after he starts the engine and begins to drive to his father’s ranch.

“Don’t worry about that.” He reaches over and takes your hand, holding it gently. “Tell me what happened. If you can.” He knows that talking to uniformed cops is very different from a one on one with someone you trust. “What caused this? Tell me at your own pace, hermosa.”

You swallow harshly, trying to gather yourself. You squeeze his hand harder and you inhale deeply. “I- we got back to his place and we were kind of arguing. He didn’t want me seeing you again and accused me of - of fucking you the whole time we’ve been together. Called me a whore and said - said no one insults him because I- I told him- I said that you fucked me better than he does and he - he was furious. His eyes went black and he - he grabbed my arm and tried to drag me to his bedroom. Said I can’t leave him after everything he’s done for me. He wanted to - I - I managed to kick him in the balls and get away from him.” You hiccup as you finish the story.

Javi curses under his breath, furious and ready to kill this asshole. He will call the police chief and see what can be learned about him. He has to have a record, Javi can smell it on him. He brings your hand up to kiss it, squeezing softly. “I will make sure you are safe, hermosa.” He promises. “The ranch is safe and my pop and I will make sure no one comes up that you don’t want to see.” He will make sure his pop keeps his rifle and his handgun on him. “I doubt that pussy will try anything else. He just wanted to prove he was a man. But a man doesn’t hurt a woman.”

You feel safe already with Javi, knowing that you need to call Diana and tell her you need to take a couple of days off. You look out the window as he drives to his father’s ranch and you are scared of Kyle finding you but you trust Javier with your life.

“I’ll let you borrow something to sleep in.” He offers quietly. “And tomorrow I’ll take you to get some of your things.” He knows you will not want to go by yourself and he wouldn’t let you, but you can’t live in his t-shirt and boxers. “I’ll call Diana for you if you want to take a shower.”

You nod, squeezing his hand again and You murmur, “thank you.” When he arrives at his father’s ranch, he escorts you inside and to his room and you sit down on the bed, feeling exhausted. “I’m gonna take a shower if that’s okay?” You ask, wanting that bastard's touch washed off of you.

“Yeah.” Javi nods and opens his door to point across the hall. “Go right in there and I’ll bring you a towel and something to wear, hermosa.” You stand and move to slide by him but he captures your wrist and gives you a serious look. “You’re safe here.” He promises. “I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”

You believe him and you nod, “I know.” You tell him and make your way across the hall after he lets go of your wrist. You turn on the hot water after closing the door and once you’re under the water, you allow yourself to cry, sobbing as the water flows over you. The realization of want nearly happened makes you want to scream and you are so grateful you got yourself away from that asshole.

Javi hates hearing you sob. Once you had closed the door, he had gone to his pop and explained the situation. Chucho had growled that anyone coming onto the ranch would be met with a gun, a promise Javi could take seriously. He called Diana and explained that you were okay, but that you were going to be taking off for a few days. Also let her know that if that Kyle bastard came into the restaurant, she was to call him immediately. Once those tasks are done, he gathers up a towel and his softest clothes to set on the toilet for you.

You finish showering and see the clothes on the toilet. You dress in Javi’s clothes and you breathe in the scent of him and the detergent he uses. When you open the door, he’s sitting on the end of his bed and you walk across the hallway to him. “Can you stay with me tonight?” You ask, wanting him beside you to feel safe.

He watches for a moment before he nods. “I’ll stay with you.” He murmurs quietly. He knows this isn’t a sexual request, you don’t want him to fuck you. You want the physical comfort of someone you trust keeping you safe after a bad ordeal. He leans over and kisses your forehead. “I’ll get ready for bed. Do you want some water or are you hungry?”

You nod, “water please.” Javi nods and stands up, pulling the covers back for you and you get in, watching him as he unbuttons his shirt and you are immediately comforted by his presence. He disappears after stripping down to his boxers and he comes back into the room with a bottle of water for you.

Javi hands you the water and caresses your cheek gently before he steps across the hall to brush his teeth. He would normally have a cigarette, but he’s going to just forgo that, not wanting to leave you alone for too long with your thoughts. Finishing up quickly and slipping into the bedroom and closing the door, he sighs softly when he sees you still sitting at the end of the bed. “What side do you want, hermosa?”

You glance behind you, “what side do you sleep on?” You ask and when you see the glasses he would never admit he uses to read, you know he sleeps that side. “I’ll sleep on this side.” You gesture to the side with the empty nightstand. He nods and you stand up to slide under the covers on that side. You watch Javi get in and he pulls the covers higher over you. “Can you- can you hold me?”

“Of course, hermosa.” He hadn’t assumed you wanted him to hold you, but he had expected it. Opening his arms, he lets you curl against his chest and then closes them around you. Holding you tight to him and rubbing your back. “I’m sorry,” he murmurs quietly. “I wish that this didn’t happen. Especially because of me.”

You shake your head against his chest, “it doesn’t matter. He- it wasn’t your fault. He was gonna do it one day. Whether it’s you or another man that looks at me the wrong way. He was - I shouldn’t have dated him. I just - I did it because I didn’t think you were gonna come back. You stopped calling and - shit. I just - I thought he was nice at first. This is my fault.”

Guilt settles over him like a weight and he sighs. “I’m sorry.” He apologizes. “I got caught up trying to close that fucking case. I was working nonstop and when I did think about calling, it was way too late to wake you up.” It’s no excuse, but he wants you to know he didn’t just stop thinking about you. “He’s a drug dealer.” He tells you. “Just a gut feeling, but I think that’s what he’s going to end up being.”

You lean back to look at Javi, “a drug dealer? I- I never - he never told me anything. He said he had a security business and that’s why he had men coming to his house and - God, I’m so stupid. I should’ve known.” You believe Javier, knowing he can read people like a book.

“Don’t worry about that.” Javi shakes his head, his eyes dark. “It’s better that you didn’t know. I don’t have proof yet, he just gives me that feeling.” He admits.

You bury your face back in his chest, breathing him in and you close your eyes. You’re exhausted and you’re back in his arms. You want to sleep and forget all about this nightmare of a night. “Wanna sleep.” You murmur into his skin.

“Go to sleep, hermosa.” He hums. “I’m right here.” He continues to rub your back softly as he listens to your breathing start to even out as you fall asleep.

**** 

The morning sun shines into the bedroom through the gap in the curtains and you wake up, momentarily forgetting that anything happened last night, just remembering that you’re in Javi’s arms again. You snuggle into him, throwing your leg over his hip when you feel his morning wood poking into you and you gasp.

Your gasp wakes Javi up, grunting and opening his eyes as he looks over to you. “Everything okay?” His voice is gravely and he clears his throat. Looking around as he blinks a few times and then back at you. “Nightmare?” The sun is starting to rise, but it’s still early and he pulls you closer. “‘S’okay.” He grunts. “Go back to sleep.” 

You rest your head back on his chest, wanting him to erase the touch of that asshole. You press closer, shifting your hips to grind against him, “need you.” You murmur, hoping Javier still feels the same way you do.

Javi’s eyes flutter open and he twitches against your hip. “You sure?” He asks, hand sliding down and under your t-shirt to rub your bare back. “You want to? Or you think I want to?”

You whimper, pushing yourself impossibly closer. "I want to. I need to.  need - I haven't - he wasn't you. I still - I want you." You finish, getting flustered at the way he caresses your back, "please baby."

He understands what you mean. He had slept with someone as soon as he had figured out the assignment was basically chasing his tail. He hadn’t felt good when he woke up in her bed and he hadn’t even really enjoyed himself. He hadn’t slept with anyone else the entire time he was there. “I want you too.” He promises, hand sliding down to your ass and he squeezes. “Fuck you want to ride or you want me to roll you over?”

You grind against him, “want you to roll me over. I need to feel all of you, want to feel the weight of you, baby.” You confess, sliding your hand down his chest and into his boxers, wrapping your fingers around his hard cock to pump him a few times.

Javi groans, and rocks his hips into your fist, enjoying how you don't seem to be put off by a man's touch. He's glad that bastard didn't manage to get you back to his room and he's proud of you for being so strong. He shifts, pushing your hand away as he can roll over and take you onto your back. "You want me to make you forget?" He asks, kissing your chin.

You nod, knowing you shouldn’t want to be touched, but this is Javier. The man who’s shown you nothing but respect and has kept you safe every time you’ve been with him. He told you about Helena and the other girls. A bad man wouldn’t try and help them. You trust him with everything you are. You tilt your head to press your lips against his. “I want you to touch me. I want you to make me forget ever knowing him.” You plead softly, caressing his back as he pushes his shirt up your body.

“I can do that, hermosa.” He promises, pulling your shirt over your head as you lean up and tosses it aside. His pop won’t be up anytime soon so his mouth follows you back to the bed, wrapping around a nipple and sucking like he is trying to get milk. His fingers dive under his boxers, assuming that this jerk off hasn’t made you cum a lot. He’ll change that and you’ll only think about him for the next few hours.

You moan when his fingers find your clit and you have missed him so much. It’s like a part of you is returned as he kisses along your chest to take your other nipple into his mouth and his fingers rub your clit. “Fuck. I have missed you so much.” You sigh, “so damn much baby.”

Humming, he continues to rub your clit while he sucks and bites at your breasts. Making your nipples hard and puffy from the attention, he flicks his tongue over the hardened numb and chuckles when you gasp his name. “Do you want me to lick your pussy?” He asks, looking up at you. “Or do you just want me to fuck you?”

You shake your head, breathless already. “I need you inside of me. Please. Don’t want to go another moment without you.” You beg and reach down to squeeze his cock again, using your feet to push his boxers down to his thighs. “I need you, baby.” You whine, getting a little desperate as he takes his time still rubbing your clit.

He still has to get his boxers off of you so he can fuck you. Leaning back onto his knees. He drags the material down your legs and pushes them up into the air so he can pull them off and then spread your legs around him. “Fuck, dreamed about this pussy for two fucking years.” He confesses, wrapping his hand around his cock and pumping himself.

You aren’t stupid enough to think he hasn’t been with other women but you can’t find it in yourself to care. You reach for him to drag him back down onto you and you bring his mouth to yours. “No one could ever compare to you. No one.” You promise him, “dreamed about you too. All the time. You wanna use a condom? I didn’t - twice with him and he used a condom.” You don’t wanna talk about that motherfucker but you want him to feel comfortable.

“Trust you.” He promises, leaning over you and pressing his lips to yours. “Hermosa.” He whispers your name as he lifts a leg onto his hip, and notches his cock at your entrance. “Look at me.” He orders as he starts to push inside you.

Your eyes meet his and you inhale sharply when he starts to push inside of you. Your eyes don’t leave his and you reach out to caress his shoulders, loving the way he pushes slowly inside of you, stretching you out. “Oh baby.” You sigh, tilting your head back once he’s fully inside of you, unable to keep your eyes open when he is finally inside you again.

“Shit.” Your ex was stupid, insane to allow petty jealousy to ruin a relationship with you. He was grateful, because it meant that he was right here with you, able to touch you again. Even if you didn’t deserve the abuse you had been dealt. He rocks his hips shallowly, kissing your neck and lips until he feels you relax and knows he can move.

He starts to move inside of you and it’s like you’re home. You whimper and wrap your legs around him, pushing him deeper inside of you and you moan softly. No words are spoken as he moves inside of you, just soft whimpers and moans and you caress his back, unable to speak with your heart pounding in your chest.

Javi holds you tight, rocking into you at a pace that is less vigorous, more soft and sweet, but there is a snap to his hips when he lunges forward. Enjoying the way you feel under him, he reaches down to rub your clit as he fucks you.

You cry out softly as he rubs your clit, making your walls flutter around him. “Baby. Oh fuck.” You gasp, clamping down on his cock as he pushes deep and the emotions overwhelm you as tears stream down your cheeks while you clamp down on his cock.

Javi closes his eyes, dropping his forehead on yours as he works you through your orgasm. “That’s it, hermosa. So good for me. So perfect.”

You kiss him, soft and slow as he works you through your orgasm and he thrusts a little harder to seek his own climax. “Please Jav. Cum for me.” You plead, caressing his cheeks as his lips hover against yours, his grunts pushed into your mouth.

Javi keeps his eyes on you, aware that you could change your mind at any second, might still, because of Kyle. Watching you as he gets closer with everything and he groans out your name only a minute later as he stiffens above you.

You close your eyes as he cums inside of you, loving how it feels when he paints your walls with his hot seed. He works himself through it and you caress his chest, feeling his heart thumping beneath your palm. You can’t stop yourself when you confess to him breathlessly, “I love you.” Words you should’ve told him two years ago but didn’t because he was leaving.

Javi closes his eyes, knowing that you might not mean it, but he savors the moment. “Te amo.” He murmurs softly, nudging his nose against yours. “I should have told you. Should have brought you with me to Colombia. Thought about asking you, but I didn’t want you to feel like you had to give up your life.”

You sigh, hating how much time you’ve lost together. “I would’ve followed you anywhere but we both had lives to lead. Things to do. I would’ve given up everything for you if you had asked me.” You admit softly, “I loved you so much back then and I still love you. I’m yours, always have been since that moment we met at Danny’s wedding.

Javi hums and he kisses you softly. “Don’t worry, hermosa.” He murmurs. “We will work everything out. I’ve quit the DEA, I’m back for good.” He had wanted to tell you last night, but he hadn’t wanted to make waves with Kyle at the restaurant and then after you called it, it wasn’t the time.

You smile, pleased to hear that he's back for good. You want him to stay. "I want you to stay, baby. I want to be with you." You say as you snuggle into his chest after he shifts onto his back. "I love you." You murmur, caressing his skin.

****

“Why am I so fucking nervous?” Javi grumbles, checking his bow tie for the tenth time since he’s put it on. “The wedding is done, we’ve said our vows.” He turns to you and can’t help but smile at how beautiful you look in your wedding gown. The little church wedding had been a lot smaller than his first wedding, but the reception seemed to include the entire town. He strides over to you and pulls you against him. “No regrets?”

You chuckle, sliding your hands down his chest to adjust his jacket label. “Never. No regrets, Peña.” You promise and cup his cheek, “why are you nervous? Trying to escape already?” You tease, caressing his cheek.  

“Never.” He promises and you lean in to kiss him softly when Diana comes over with Chucho. 

“Well, looks like my match making skills have come true again.”  Diana winks at her brother in law, “well you got two Peña men married off.” Chucho winks and you raise your eyebrows at Diana.

 “Peña men take a special woman to tame them.” Diana explains and you shake your head, “no taming this one.” You giggle, knowing Javier will always be his own person and you wouldn’t want him to be anything other than himself.

“You tamed me.” Javi pouts and leans in to kiss you softly. “You did. That’s why I decided that I was tired of just having sleepovers.” His fingers brush the wedding band he had just slid on your finger. “Now that the pictures are done, you ready to go out to our own reception?” He asks, sending you a sly wink. “Might have to take you to the bathroom again.”

You giggle, leaning in to kiss his jaw like you did while you were dancing. “Now you definitely will be taking me to the bathroom.” You murmur into his skin and he groans softly, “yes, Señora Peña.” He says and you love hearing that. Diana’s match making skills are second to none and despite yours and Javi’s efforts to keep it casual, you couldn’t resist making it forever.

[limes-sagau]

Starting My Sagau Writing Journey

Ok Im wanting to dip my toes into the Sagau writing scene and I wanted to put out about 3 ideas I have and plan on writing. Each idea will be outlined below and people are welcome to take inspiration off of them just make sure to tag me in the writing. There will also be a poll at the end where you can vote for which one you want to see first. When I finish writing each chapter they will be put up on AO3. 

Shimeji AU: 

For those who don't know, Shimeji is a browser extension that spawns a chibi version of a character onto your browser. This character can then move around and climb on the borders of your web page and just be a cute little distraction (I know this might sound like malware but its not I've had a Venti and a Lumine Shimegi for a while now and haven't experienced anything that can imply they are malware) 

This would be more of a drabble and less of a full fic. 

Basically the characters in genshin become aware through their Shimeji and then begin acting up in your browser when you're out of the game (when you're in game you're fine).

If you leave your web browser opened when you leave your computer you will come back to it being on a weird page 

Like Venti looking at a wine website 

Diluc somehow ending up on a streaming service watching Batman 

Yae Miko finding your writing 

I'll likely start off with characters from Mondstadt and go down the list for each region.

Kidnapped by the Harbingers (not the final title): 

Exactly as it sounds, in the middle of the night you are taken from your college dorm (or room I likely won't specify) to Teyvat after the harbingers find a way into our world. 

Haven't decided which harbinger will be sent (leaning towards Childe because I feel like it would fit best and he'd be down for that type of experiment). 

Most of it will take place in a separate castle from Zapolyarny Palace. 

If you want to know my specific location I have in mind their is a visual novel called Dottore And The Spy where you become Dottores apprentice (highly suggest this visual novel) but its main story takes place in a castle in the middle of a frozen wasteland away from civilization where both Pantalon and Dottore live. This will be the main location for the story. 

I'll also be adding in Capitano as another permanent resident of this castle because I want to write about a big strong man who is the emotional intelligence of the three main harbingers present. 

The other harbingers and the Tsaritsa will appear but they will be much more understated in their role.

I want this fanfic to go into the mental load that being locked away from the world has on a person's psyche.

Readers' powers will slowly awaken, making it harder for the Harbingers to keep us a secret from Teyvat and specifically Celestia.

This won't be a full blown yandere fic with the harbingers, they will be slightly possessive but it is more about your safety since Celestia doesn't like you. 

Celestia will be the ultimate enemy over all but the story will not be focused on shooting down Celestia from the sky as readers powers will not ever reach the strength needed to face Celestia alone. 

Harbingers plan will not have changed; they are still working to take down Celestia.   

This will be taking place after Sumeru (so no Scara or La Signora and their will be less clones)

The story will also include 

Getting to know and bond with your castle staff like maids or ladies in waiting (I know these are typically only given to female presenting reader but I want to write about gossip and forming friendships so this is what I'm going with) 

Quality time with each harbinger

Impressing Dottore with your basic levels of knowledge on Astronomy (since Teyvats sky is fake)

Eventually a runaway arch

Lots of tears and mental breakdowns, but don’t worry there will be comfort as well

Shenanigans 

Possibly NSFW after reader finally convinces everyone to stop calling them “your grace”

To Make a Haven (Title might change):

Imposter (but reader is the real deal) AU

Reader gets killed once by a mob of NPCs 

I want it specifically to be NPCs so the reader still has emotional attachment to the playable characters

Reader seeks out a safe and secluded place  

Teyvat awakens to readers distress and opens up a hidden area of the map to the reader that can only be accessed through very specific means. 

Reader eventually starts bringing in Hilichurls to what for now im going to be calling “the Grove” 

Reader will begin messing around and experimenting with her powers and finds a way to somewhat heal the hilichurls 

This isn't a full fix it will be like layering a curse on top of a curse in order to negate some of the effects of the original curse

The hilicurls will not return to being human they will become something else (human like but not human) 

This fic will contain way more original characters 

Reader will be more spiteful in this fic but less in like a “make everyone suffer” way and more like “lets shake up the system and make everything more challenging for people because they tried to kill me” 

This fic will span over a larger span of time in world with the reader building a full city in the hidden area Teyvat made for them.

Well those are my three ideas! after this poll is done I'm hoping to get the first chapter out with that week, but I'm a college student and it been a while since I have written fanfiction so i make no promises.

[evans23]

RICKMAS 2024 - DAY 7 - QUIET WISHING [A2]

Pairing : Colonel Brandon x OC

Summary : The Colonel is ready to move on and to taste the delight of happiness, but your secret weighs too heavily on your shoulders.

Tag(s)/Warning(s) : Sadness. Depression. Mention of Abortion.

DECEMBER MOON : Part I

Also read on AO3 - Wattpad

Colonel Brandon's heart was beating to a new rhythm. The rhythm of happiness at having found someone who seemed genuinely interested in him and not in his fortune, his title or his domain. You made him smile. Better yet, you made him happy.

He still remembered your father's face when he had asked him for permission to court you. The poor man had not believed it, you whose sharp mind had scared away more than one man, here was one of the richest and most respected men in the county interested in you and did not seem put off by your intelligence which sometimes bordered on insolence. But he also feared that Brandon wanted to take advantage of you.

"My daughter... She is not like the ladies you usually frequent in the salons, Colonel," your father had told him.

"Exactly, I don't want a lady who just smiles and sits idle while spending my money," Christopher had replied in his deep voice.

"She... [Y/N] is already 28 years old and has never been... courted or proposed to... that should... worry you," your father had suggested.

Christopher had found your father's concern cute. He had recognized in him a man worried about your well-being. He had reassured him of his intentions and your father who could not miss your annoyed and pleading look had said yes.

But at already 38 years old, Christopher did not want to spend months and months playing the game of convenience. He wanted to marry you quickly.

And you too, for your part, did not want to wait any longer to leave your father's home for the safety of a husband. But the happiness you had of being courted and loved by a man like him was tainted by the fear you had that he might one day know.

"[Y/N], is everything okay ?" Brandon asked you, looking genuinely worried.

You jumped slightly before smiling at him, your mind returning to the inside of the carriage that was gently shaking you on the bumpy road.

"Yes, very well, I... it's just that this is the first time I'm going to go to the Jennings and Mrs. Jennings... she's invited me often but I didn't feel like I belonged there..."

That wasn't really all that was bothering you but you didn't want to tell him the truth. If Christopher didn't believe you, he didn't show it, too busy admiring you in the wool coat he'd given you before you left, a coat that fit you and would keep you warm all winter.

The Jennings welcomed you warmly. He already knew that Christopher was courting you and although Mrs. Jennings' insinuations had made you uncomfortable at times, the day had been pleasant. But you didn't feel entirely at home in this world. You didn't know all the rules of etiquette and you were always a little slouched, a position reinforced by your feelings of inadequacy.

"You'll learn," Christopher said kindly when you confided your doubts, "I'll help you and if you wish, I can have a governess come and see you every day. But [Y/N], I'm not asking you for anything, you know that, right ?"

You nodded gently, grateful for what he was willing to do for you, to help you integrate into his world.

That night, lying in your bed with Henry by your side, covered with several blankets to counter the cold wind that was seeping in through the gaps in the windows, a dull anxiety invaded you. What you were doing was wrong. You were going to make this honest and sincere man suffer who didn't deserve it, a man who wouldn't even look at you anymore if he knew the truth, if he knew who you really were.

12 years ago

You were sixteen years old and you were considered one of the most beautiful girls in your village. Your long brown hair that you rarely bothered to style like a real lady, your soft and delicate face, your big green eyes, your natural kindness and your intelligence made you a rather singular person. You had few friends and the boys didn't really look at you, intimidated that you could hold a real conversation.

But you didn't care, you were still so innocent about things of love. You had a simple life with your father, a man who gave you more freedom than any other girl in your village could have dreamed of having.

No one looked at you except him. A lord's son, no less than that who had noticed you one day at the spring festival that was organized every year thanks to the kindness of his father. This year the old lord had not been able to come and it was him who had come. Tall, elegant, dark-haired with a nonchalant attitude, he had immediately caught your eye. He didn't look like anyone you knew. Nobody. And you didn't look like any of the ladies he rubbed shoulders with either. Why he had noticed you among all the others, you don't know and you would never understand, but it had been the case.

He had spoken to you to talk about the weather. He was charming, disarming too. He wasn't flattering and his sincerity had made you waver, giving rise to a mixture of excitement and nervousness.

That evening, when you returned home, you couldn't forget the smile that lit up his face, but you knew that you couldn't expect anything from this meeting. You were just grateful that he had been kind enough to speak to you, to treat you as an equal.

Except that you had seen her again. Once. Twice. Three times. And he had ended up admitting to you that if he came back to the village so often, it was to see you. Each time, he had a little gift for you: a drug, a silver brooch, a handkerchief embroidered with his initials, gifts that you kept preciously in a wooden box hidden under your bed. Not to mention the dozens and dozens of letters that you exchanged, hiding them in the gap of a stone wall on the edge of the village that secretly kept your correspondence while the other went to get the letter addressed to him. The drawer of your dresser was filled with the languorous words that he wrote to you every week.

"We could leave," he had told you one day.

"Where would we go ?"

"Anywhere. We'll get married in Scotland and then... We could go to America. Or this new land that he calls Australia. They say that there everything is big and everything is wild. We would be free to be what we want."

He kept telling you that your difference in status, in rank, was of no importance and he insisted a little more each time that you leave. And soon, he had infected you with his dreams of escape, of distant landscapes and of a future where conventions, social statuses would not exist.

Back to the present

"[Y/N], will you come with me to the Christmas party that the Jennings are organizing the night before ?"

Christopher was standing in your living room, his hands nervously playing with his hat while your father prepared tea in the next room, Henry at his side hoping to see him drop a biscuit.

"I... I'm not sure I have my place at such an evening," you answered, your cheeks blushing slightly.

You knew that the Jennings would receive prestigious guests, accustomed to the codes of this kind of evening.

"I will stay by your side the whole time," Christopher promised.

You looked up as your father came back into the room, nodding vigorously behind Christopher to urge you to say yes.

"Very well," you murmured.

The Colonel smiled, a shy smile on his lips, the same one that always made you melt.

"If you agree, Mr. [Y/S], I could take [Y/N] into town to buy her a dress for this evening."

"There's no need..." you began but your father almost immediately interrupted you to give his consent.

As you walked side by side, you could feel the eyes of the evil tongues who whispered about the fact that you didn't have a chaperone. Christopher didn't care. After all, you were practically his fiancé and at your ages, there were many other things to worry about. Besides, he was a man of honour, he would never have touched you before making you his wife.

But those whispers tightened your throat, taking you back years.

11 years ago

After a year of dreaming and hoping, you had abruptly learned the truth from a maid at the manor where the man you loved lived. He was engaged. Engaged to a woman of his rank.

"Is it true then ?" you had asked him when you had seen each other in your secret place, far from the eyes of the village.

"[Y/N], I... I am from an important family. I must honour my name."

"You promised me! You told me that our difference in status meant nothing, that we would run away."

"I shouldn't have let you believe that, it was a mistake."

"William," you whispered, tears welling up in your eyes.

"[Y/N], it was a dream. A beautiful dream, but you have to wake up now."

And he continued like this, in a cold voice, pretending that everything you had experienced, shared didn't count, was nothing.

"I'm leaving the region at the end of the month. I'm going to Wales. The wedding will take place there and we will settle in one of my father's properties. I'm sorry [Y/N], but you are intelligent, you must have suspected that all this was only ephemeral."

He stroked a lock of your hair, then he turned away and left without a backward glance, leaving you alone with your sorrow, your broken heart, your body in pain.

You fell to your knees, crying silently. You stayed there for a long time, hours. It was almost dark when you finally returned home. You felt empty, betrayed, in another world, so much so that you hadn't even heard your father's remonstrances.

The next day, you burned everything: the letters, the gifts, you wanted to erase him entirely from your existence. But it was too late. He had already left an indelible mark on you.

Back to the present

A lump in your throat, you listened to Christopher talk to you about the future. Children he hoped to have with you.

You had to tell him. He had to know what you had done 16 years ago. You couldn't let him believe that you were a young virgin saved for her husband. You had to tell him everything. But once again, you were too cowardly to do it, promising yourself once again that tomorrow, tomorrow you would talk to him.

But you didn't, the days passed, you kept your secret, your regrets, your remorse and your guilt with you. But on this December 23rd, Christopher did something you didn't expect.

He came to your house without you expecting it. Your father was busy at the Hawthorne's. He was preparing the tables and the decorations for their Christmas reception. However, you didn't hesitate to let Colonel Brandon come home. You knew you had nothing to fear with him, and besides, your four-legged companion would protect you if necessary.

Christopher stood in front of you, a little nervous. He felt a certain resistance in you, but he hoped that what he was going to ask you would break down your last defences and that you would teach him to understand your silences and your sometimes shifty glances.

"[Y/N], I wanted to ask you something," he began, pacing back and forth.

You were sitting by the fireplace, your heart pounding.

"I love you. With a deep and sincere love."

Your breath caught in your throat as he stopped in front of you, his hands crossed behind his back.

"I don't want to wait any longer. I don't want to waste any more time. I know I want you in my life. You touched my heart when I thought it was no longer possible."

"Colonel Brandon," you said, emotion choking your voice somewhat.

Christopher looked at you surprised. You only called him that in public, never in private, not since he asked you to use his Christian name.

"I..."

You couldn't continue. Sensing your hesitation, he took your hands in his, so strong, so powerful.

"I know I'm not perfect. I'm not the most handsome man in the kingdom, and my past has been filled with pain and regret. But I'm grateful to God for making me endure all of this. Thanks to it, I learned to recognize a true soul."

"Christopher," you began but he stopped you by raising his hand.

"I would like us to go to the Jennings' party tomorrow night as your fiancé and for you to allow me to tell my best friend that you have agreed to become my wife."

You turned pale. As if he could sense the tension emanating from your entire being, Henry came to rest his head against your leg. You absently took him on your lap, your eyes wide.

You looked up to see the hope in Christopher's, and you felt sick. You put Henry back on the ground and stood up abruptly to walk away.

"[Y/N]," Christopher said softly.

He didn't understand. What were you doing ? You weren't like Marianne, you couldn't be. He had thought he saw in you what he had been looking for for so long, and here you were about to break his heart, like all the others.

"I can't," you whispered.

His words were like a slap in the air. Brandon took a step back, hurt.

"Why ?" he asked firmly, "was I just a game to you ?"

"No ! Never ! I... Christopher... I..."

Tears welled up in your eyes and you bit your bottom lip until it bled.

"[Y/N], explain yourself. I want to know," he commanded.

"I'm not what you think I am. You deserve a much better woman than me who is worthy of walking by your side."

"[Y/N], I don't expect you to be perfect. But I want you to be honest."

"Honest... I wish I was, but I'm afraid you'll never look at me again."

"[Y/N], what do you mean ?"

Christopher felt worry rising in him. What could you possibly be hiding ?

"I... you'll probably despise me after this, but please, don't tell anyone, ever. I'm telling you because I owe it to you. What I did was wrong. I shouldn't have given you false hope, but please, Colonel Brandon... Christopher... keep my secret, I beg you."

You were crying for real now. Christopher helped you sit up and handed you a glass of water.

"Despising you ? Never. What could you have done that was so bad ?"

His tone was soft, his gaze worried. You hesitated for a split second, then spilled the beans.

"There... many years ago, when I was only 16 years old, I let myself be seduced by a young lord. He... he was insidiously sweet and he made me a thousand and one promises. He promised me a bright future, dreams that I would never have dared to imagine, but...

11 years ago

"My dear, you haven't stopped throwing up for three days. We should really call the doctor," your father had told you tenderly.

"It's not necessary, Dad. We don't have much money and I'll get better soon, there's an epidemic in the village. I probably caught it when I went to sell our apples to Mr. DeGardener."

Your father had nodded, even if he remained worried about you. But you knew you were lying. You weren't sick. It was worse than that.

Two months ago, William had taken you to his house in secret. A magnificent home like you had never seen before. His parents were away, traveling to Scotland with three-quarters of the servants. He had let you in discreetly, under the noses of the few servants still present.

He had taken you to his room, kissed you on the cheek, forehead, nose, mouth. Up until then, nothing more than what you had already done. He then went down your neck and one of his fingers had gently lowered the collar of your dress to place a kiss on the top of your breasts. Out of breath, you had let him do it.

He slid his other hand along your leg, raising your dress up your thigh to place his hand under your drawers, and there again, you had not pushed him away. You knew what was going to happen, you were not as naive as you seemed... well, at least you liked to think so.

Several times, he had asked you if you were sure, if you wanted him to stop. When he had unbuttoned your dress, when he had slid it down your body, when he had removed your wool socks, your undershirt and one last time, before his hands slid your drawers down your legs

And after you had whispered "yes" to him one last time, he had laid you down on his bed and had taken your purity, your innocence, your entire body.

You obviously couldn't tell your father this, but there was one person you could confide in. You knew she wouldn't judge you and she would never tell him again.

You had waited until the next morning, for your father to leave for work to leave him a note and you had left for your grandmother's house. She lived in a modest house a little outside the village, nestled at the end of a path lined with old twisted trees that filtered the autumn light, making their foliage almost unreal.

With bruised feet and a fragile mind, you had timidly knocked on the door, your shoulders weighed down by an emotional fatigue that devoured you more than anything else. Your grandmother had come to open the door. When she saw you, her face had lit up with a toothless smile. Her white hair was tied up in a strict bun and her face, marked by the years, was marked by a little more worry when she saw you with red eyes and a defeated expression.

"Grandma, I didn't know where to go," you had said, bursting into tears.

She had immediately pulled you into her arms. You still remembered her scent of lavender and wood and for the first time since William had abandoned you, you felt safe.

She had led you to the fire and while she made tea, you had unpacked everything. Absolutely everything, while your grandmother had sat in her old, worn armchair, a blanket around her shoulders, listening to you without saying a word.

"My dear," your grandmother had finally said at the end of your story.

"I loved him, Grandma. And I believed him when he said he would marry me," you had said in a hoarse, almost inaudible voice.

"I know, my dear. But you are not the first young girl to be taken in by the sweet promises of a young man in search of pleasure."

"He left me like I was nothing. Like we had nothing in common and all his promises were nothing but wind," you said, crying even harder.

"You're no less precious, [Y/N]. No one needs to know what happened, it's yours," your grandmother had said wisely.

"Except... Oh, Grandma ! I'm expecting his child !"

Your tears had redoubled, almost choking you as your throat was so tight.

"There is no forgiveness for girls like me. I'm lost and when the whole village finds out, my father's name will be sullied."

The old woman had immediately stood up to hug you.

"No one needs to know. You made a mistake, that's true, but that doesn't define you. Neither you nor your worth. It's what you do from now on that matters," she had said firmly.

"What am I going to do, Grandma ?"

The old woman thought silently for a moment, her fingers clenched on the armrest of the chair you were sitting in.

"I... I'm going to go see your father..."

"NO !" you cried.

She silenced you with a look, the same kind of look she used to make you understand, when you were a child, that you were getting a little too insolent.

"I'm going to tell him that I'm not doing very well and that I want to go on a pilgrimage to talk to God. He'll tell me that I'm too old and I'll tell him that's why I want you to come with me, to watch over me."

"Where shall we go, Grandma ?"

"I know a place where we can help you."

"Grandma, you're not judging me, are you ?" you asked, consumed by guilt.

She took your hand in hers and squeezed it with all her strength.

"My poor little darling. You carry a weight that is far too heavy for a young girl, but you are not the first young woman to let a man abuse you. Listen to me carefully, this secret will be ours and you must never, ever let it define you or dictate the rest of your life, understood ?"

You didn't answer and she squeezed your hands a little tighter.

"Understood ?" she asked again with more force.

"Yes," you breathed.

"Good. I'm going to take you to a small, remote convent run by sisters who are rather... let's say more caring than others. They'll give you a choice. Either stay there until you're delivered and they'll then take care of your child, entrust him to a good family who can't have one or..."

You saw her hesitate and you raised a questioning look.

"Or what, grandmother ?"

"Or some of them know... they know how to make angels."

Your breath hitched. You knew what she meant.

"It will be your decision, [Y/N], but know that no matter what you decide, you will do what you believe is right and I, I will always love you just as much."

She hugged you again, whispering to you that anyone who dared to judge you would know nothing of the weight of the human heart. And a week later, you found yourself in this convent, surrounded by sisters who were not as caring as promised, who had made disparaging remarks to you under the disapproving gaze of your grandmother, but despite the sermons, one of them had created an angel and you had returned home as you had left, at least in appearance. But the specter of your guilt, you knew, would never leave you.

Back to the present

"It was supposed to be the best solution, an end, but it was only a beginning. I woke up after days of fever, weakened, my body bruised and my heart... my heart completely empty," you said without even trying to hold back your tears.

Christopher looked at you, his features serious but his eyes not devoid of compassion. He had listened to you from start to finish without interrupting you.

"That day, I lost my faith and my dignity. You see, Christopher, I am not what you think. I am not pure. I am just a slut who... who made an angel out of the child she was expecting. I am not worthy of you, of your love."

A heavy silence fell, broken only by your sobs. Christopher crossed the distance between you and took one of your hands in his. You tried to pull it away, but he stopped you.

"Please, Colonel, don't tell anyone. My father never knew, nor did anyone in our village. This secret belonged only to my grandmother and me. Today, my grandmother is no longer of this world, I am the only one carrying this secret. Please, please, keep it to yourself, I only revealed it to you so that you understand why we can't be together," you said in one go.

"[Y/N], look at me" he asked with authority.

You timidly looked up, afraid to see anger in his eyes, but you only saw love.

"I don't despise you. All I see is a young woman who, far too young, had to go through hell. But you came out stronger. And today, you don't have to carry that burden alone anymore," he said in a soft voice.

You shook your head violently, ready to protest, but he stopped you.

"You have survived much pain, much suffering that few could have borne," he continued with unwavering compassion, "and you are still here, standing before me, strong, fighting. It takes a strength that I can only admire, not despise."

"But I am not pure. I am broken," you whispered.

"And me too, life has broken me many times. But I got back up every time, like you. Life is like that. We all carry our burdens, but they shape us. You are not broken [Y/N], you are like a reed. The wind wanted to break you in two, but you only bent for a moment before getting back up."

His words resfelt like a balm on your bruised heart and for the first time in a long time, you saw hope and the possibility of finally letting those old wounds heal.

"I don't deserve you," you said weakly.

He squeezed your hand a little tighter as if to anchor you to reality.

"You deserve all the love in the world. And I love you. I love you as you are, for who you are. No matter who you were, what you've done. And if you're ready to accept me with my own demons, then I promise to love you, to protect you and together we will build a future far from the ghosts that haunt us. A future where there will be only hope, happiness and you can always lean on me."

You probed him as if to make sure he wasn't playing you, but you saw only sincerity and love on his features.

"[Y/N], do you agree to be my wife ?" Christopher asked softly.

"Yes," you said between sobs.

He held you close, resting his chin on the top of your head. When the front door opened, he quickly stepped back.

"[Y/N], what's going on here ?" your father asked, looking at Christopher suspiciously.

"Dad..."

"I asked [Y/N] to be my wife and she agreed," Christopher answered for you.

Your father's face might have made you laugh if you weren't still reeling from the confession you had just made.

"Well, that's a surprise," he finally said, sitting down heavily on an armchair.

The Colonel took his leave, not without kissing your forehead tenderly, almost possessively before taking his leave.

The next day, he picked you up for the evening at the Jennings, a ring between his fingers.

"It belonged to my mother," he told you as he slipped it onto your finger. "And now, it's yours. And you're mine," he said as he kissed your temple.

And you left for the Jennings, you wrapped in the wool coat that Christopher had given you, he had the biggest smile you'd ever seen on his face. And in that dark night where the cold bit your cheeks, you let yourself go against him when in the carriage, he wrapped his arms around you to warm you. But it wasn't so much his arms that warmed you as the promise of a future that you had never dared to hope for before. And silently, you thanked the heavens for having heard your quiet wishing.

[mothbart]

Favorite fanfiction(s) at the moment? Thanks!! :)

ayo let me....let me share...also im gonna be so fr most of these people are my friends so! let me be biased!

blue lock:

as it goes by cityboys (rin/bachira. truly one of my favorite fics, i've reread it so many times)

the marauders:

get him back by @sixlane (jegulus, incredible james potter, lane really just gets every character down perfectly)

before sunrise by @angel-daydreams (jegulus, cyborg au??? AMAZING)

making ghosts by @itsjaywalkers (jegulus. this is hands down one of my favorite fics by laurie, like making ghosts is something i think about 24/7. ghost hunters au)

light as a ghost (on my mind you weigh the most) by @static-radio-ao3 (jegulus. don't even get me started how much i think about this fic it's ofc more ghost hunters but mil just knows exactly how to tug on heart strings)

god is real (he was sleeping in my bed last night) by @regscupid (jegulus. TRULY a fucking banger fic god jegulus porn what else could you possibly want)

inertia by @licnheartedd (jegulus. kit has put so much of their heart and soul into this fic and it's so obvious. i will never get over how talented they are, like i could write an essay on how incredible their writing is)

we'll be just fine (even when i lose my mind) by @spacexcowgirl (jegulus. my rosie posie wrote this fic and i adored it amazing wonderful but also so is rose so)

ecliptic by @magswrite (jegulus. I AM ECLIPTIC'S BIGGEST FAN AND NO ONE CAN TAKE THAT TITLE AWAY FROM ME)

cherry bomb! @honeybcj (bartylily. i hope mack knows how much i think about this fic. i will never move on from it actually)

kick drum heart by @theapocryphaofantares (jegulus. THE FIC THAT INTRODUCED ME TO KOLOWV AKA MY BEST FRIEND love him love this fic just love all around)

winterlude by @otrtbs (jegulus. if you have not read winterlude you are truly missing out because the dynamic between jegulus in this fic is one of my faves i think about it often!!!)

jamie doesn't know by @transsexualpriest (bartylily. i am selfishly putting this here because drac was so kind to write this for me for my birthday and i still read it from time to time)

you've got me down on my knees (it's getting harder to breathe) by @messymoony (t4t jegulus. lookin' for some great t4t jeggy?? dw mar's got you)

turn your back on mother nature by @poetskings (jegulus. STORM CHASERS???? amazing. i think about this fic so often too, si killed me with this one actually)

jjk:

built your walls around me by alkhale (itafushi)

here be dragons by kwiewi (tojikuna. sammy writes literally the best tojikuna, every fic is a fucking masterpiece but also sammy is just an incredible writer. i'll never get enough of it)

here and where you are by cityboys (itafushi. can u tell i love cityboys)

愛のある場所; river of light (that brings me to you) by cosmichorrour (satosugu. this fic has made me cry a million times with each read. it's so beautifully well done)

coanda effect by bunniehoney (satosugu. idk jack shit about f1 but when i tell you that the author did such an amazing job explaining everything, you'll feel like a pro reading it.)

[wizzdot]

The Patron Saint of One Way Trips

Ch4

Description: chapter 4 - I’m not entirely sure if this is any good. I need to go through and edit it but I’ll do that when I’m closer to knowing what’s actually gonna happen 🤣 we will wait and see! I’ve posted this on ao3 as well - same username and title. I love Wes Anderson, hence the Isle of Dogs theme. Feel that it fits the theme of this fic too. Anyhoo..

I allow Gaz to lead me to a well lit room. It looks like some sort of living area. Comfortable sofas and carpeted floors. This was totally foreign to me after my time spent in the facility. I felt so out of place. I flit my gaze to Gaz who must notice my discomfort or awkwardness, and he beckons at me to sit down on the sofa. I am still zipped up inside his warm jacket, which smells of a warm vanilla scent mixed with some variation of citrus fruit.. I can't quite put my finger on it, but it is comforting and calming. I try not to make it obvious that I am taking in his scent.

The others are already situated in their seats. I feel all of their eyes itching into my skin. I shrink back into myself again. The pack Alpha, their Captain, clears his gruff throat before speaking. "We have received information from Laswell. She has found your file and is going to send it over as soon as it is secured in the system.. she has told us you are not a direct threat to us. Is this correct, Laika? Can we trust you?"

I feel like scoffing at him. Me? Can they trust me? It's almost laughable that a pack of four huge Alpha's think that I, a drugged, undesignated girl, could threaten them. Not to mention that I am not in the best of shape due to lack of nutrition and poor sleeping habits. "Well..?" he prompts. I met his gaze for the first time since they'd found me. "I pose no threat to you or your pack members, Captain" - I decide to address him officially as pack Alpha. He stands a little straighter than he was before, obviously happy with my answer. I feel a sense of relief wash over me before dropping my gaze back to the floor.

A growl echoes through the silence, the others all looking between each other to find the source of the sound. Their eyes land on me. I can feel my face redden under their scrutiny - my stomach is the source of the growl. "S-sorry" I stutter anxiously. Gaz steps forward slowly and smiles down at me. "C'mon, let's go and get some food. I could eat too." He nods towards the left and I follow the motion with my eyes and see an open door to what looks like a kitchen. I stand up nervously and follow Gaz, taking the widest possible route around the masked man and Soap, still not trusting them.

I step into the kitchen area and Gaz opens the fridge and inspects the contents. "What d'ya like?" he asks. I shrug. "Not really eaten much since- since I've been their asset.. I-I used to like soup though.." - "Soup? Let me check the cupboards. Think we've got tomato.." He moves around the kitchen smoothly, opening and closing cupboards when he doesn't find what he is looking for. I stand in the corner quietly, trying to avoid getting in the way. "C'mere" he beckons me over - "tomato or chicken?" he nods to a stack of four tins -two of each flavour- stacked neatly in the overhead cupboard. "J-just whatever is spare will be nice. Th-thanks" I whisper. "C'mon, love, try to stop being so shy with me.. you can trust me, even if you aren't sure about my packmates yet, yeah? I promise you they're good men underneath their tough exteriors.." he tries to convince me. "S-sorry.. I'll try harder" I murmur. I decide to try and be bold - I step closer to him and look over his shoulder into the cupboard to inspect the tins of soup. "Tomato would be nice.." I utter quietly. Gaz's smile is instant. It lights up the entire room, my eyes drawn to it. Wow - he had beautiful teeth. Sharp canines, gleaming white.. It reminded me that my teeth had been neglected - only able to brush them a couple of times a week when they allowed me to shower. I suddenly find myself feeling self-conscious. I haven't even properly looked in a mirror for at least a year..

I step back again, feeling a little anxious after my inner thoughts had caught up with me. Damn him and his big, perfect smile. And his deep, kind eyes. "How buttery do you want your bread?" The question snaps me out of it. "Butter?.. uhm.. same as you?" I question my own answer. "I've not had butter for ages. Just stale or mouldy bread.." I admit. He sighs sadly, but immediately tries to cheer me up. "You should see how Soap takes his bread. I swear he would use an entire block of butter per slice if he could. It's gross" he says jokingly. I release the smallest giggle at that. He is smiling so brightly now that he knows that he successfully made me laugh. My defences drop for a split second thanks to the growing comfort I am feeling in Gaz's presence, and my mouth blurts out before I can catch it "they scare me..”

Gaz snaps his gaze back down to mine - "What? Who? Soap..? He is harmless" - "and the masked one" I add blushing, anxiously. "That's Ghost - the masked one. He can take a while to warm up to strangers.. he won't hurt you though. Promise" he reassures me. My eyes follow his hand closely as he gently places it on my shoulder, attempting to comfort me, I assume. I try not to tense up or flinch at the soft touch. I just stare at his hand until he slowly withdraws it. I jump slightly when the microwave dings. Gaz pours the soup into a bowl and hands it to me with a plate full of buttered bread. I stand there confused, just staring at the food that I am holding.

"C'mon, hope you don't mind eating on the sofa. We usually just eat off our laps.." he shrugs. "It smells nice.." I compliment, following him as he holds the kitchen door open for me seeing as I had my hands full. I, once again, take the widest route around Soap and Ghost.. I sit down at the very end of the sofa and wait for Gaz to sit in the place next to me, subconsciously using him as a barrier to the outside room.

"What did Gaz make you for tea, lass?" the rich Scottish voice chirped. I jump in my seat slightly. I quietly respond "Tomato soup" without looking at him, remaining hidden behind Gaz's body. Soap leans forward and looks right at me "Smells delicious. Any leftovers, Gaz?" he asks. "Make your own... tins are in the cupboard" - "Awkt, but you made her some.." - "I'm not microwaving soup for you, Soap, piss of mate" - "Fuck sake, ya prick, though we were supposed to be packmates.." The duo go back and forward like this in a light hearted tone for a couple of minutes. "I - I don't mind letting you have this.." I offer anxiously, shakily holding my plate out towards Gaz, feeling guilty that I'd taken their food.

Gaz gently guides the plate back into my lap. "Don't be silly, bug, you haven't even started it and you haven't eaten properly for ages. Get eating!" He instructs, I listen - ever obedient. I gently lift the spoon to my mouth and slurp the soup into my mouth. I swear it's the best thing I've ever tasted. I hum quietly to myself. Unbeknownst to me, Gaz and Soap are watching me with a fond smile on their faces. I eat about half of the bowl, and a slice of bread before feeling utterly stuffed. I slowly lift my gaze from the food and glance at Gaz. "I can't eat any more.." I whisper. "You sure? You've not eaten much.." - "I'm full.." I reassure him. Soap suddenly sits forward in his seat again, making me shrink back slightly again. "Ya done, Lass?" - "mmhmm" I murmer shyly - "Here, hand it over then!" he says keenly. Before I can even process his words, he has leant over Gaz and stolen the bowl and plate from me and was groaning in pleasure at the taste. I blush slightly, embarrassed, that he hasn't even replaced the spoon I had been using. "For fuck sake, Soap, you know she's jumpy. Tone it down a bit - yeah?" Gaz suggests to Soap. "Aye, sorry just starvin' - Sorry wee'yin" he gobbles around a mouthful of bread. I just stare at the scene in front of me, lost for words.

With warm food in my belly for the first time in forever, I start feeling sleepy. I slowly unzip Gaz's jacket, now that I'm warm again, and hand it back to him. "Thanks.." I whisper, placing it on his lap. Gaz tries not to show his disappointment that you are no longer wearing his jacket - his scent. "Are you wanting me to show you to the spare room? Think it's set up ready to use.." he offers. "If that's ok.. I - I don't want to be a hassle.." - "None of that, now.. C'mon, follow me."

I stand and follow obediently again. I enter the hallway after Gaz. The walls are wallpapered with a white floral pattern. It's light and airy. Gaz walks up a set of stairs to an upper level, I follow him closely. He stops on the upper landing and points to the left hallway. "It's the second door on the right. You'll have your own bathroom too." I nod and hesitate before walking independently down the hallway, feeling a little insecure, but deciding to be brave anyway. I get to the door and slowly twist the door handle. I glance back at Gaz who just nods and turns to go back down stairs to join the rest of his pack.

I step into the room and take stock of everything in it. The walls are covered in blue and white striped wallpaper. There is a window on the back wall of the room. I check out the bathroom which is to the right hand side of the room - it has a shower, sink and a toilet, with another smaller window behind it. I step back into the main room and look at the bed. I hesitate before slowly lowering myself down on it. It's soft. I should feel comfortable, but instead I feel exposed. Unsafe. I decide to look around the bathroom again, digging through the cupboards to see what I could use. I find a few toothbrushes, still in the packs, so I remove one and hurry to brush my teeth. It's funny how such a small bit of self care can make me feel cleaner. I decide to strip from my filthy clothes and step into the shower. I turn the water on, accidentally blasting myself with freezing water before it started to heat up. I don't even squeal, being all too accustomed to cold showers. I do, however, moan when the water starts to heat up. I check out all of the soaps and products on the rack in the shower. It all looks like male stuff but I don't care. I absolutely lather myself in it. I repeat it several times over. Lather. Rinse. Lather. Rinse. And so on...

I finally step from the shower when my skin starts to wrinkle. I haven't felt this clean since - well - probably ever! The wall of steam floods the bedroom when I leave the bathroom. I get myself dry and search the chest of drawers for something clean to sleep in. From the looks of the contents inside, it looks like standard military style clothing. I find some dark joggers and a khaki t-shirt. I quickly dress, finding myself having to seriously tighten the drawstring around my waist of the trousers and roll the sleeves up of the long sleeved t-shirt. I climb into bed and pull the covers tightly around me. I toss and turn before finally dozing off.

*Gaz's POV*

I show her the directions to the room she is to stay in, deciding to stay back and let her check it out for herself. Soap had stayed in that room a few nights ago when he pissed everyone off so badly, Ghost decided to punish him by throwing him out of the pack bed for the night. I just hope he had left it clean enough for her. I walk downstairs to the rest of my pack. I sit back down in my space next to Soap, who immediately chucks his legs over me, to rest them on my lap. I massage his legs for him, making him purr. I smile softly at my pack mate.

Price speaks up then. "Kyle - what's going on with the girl then..?" - "She's scared.. terrified. Fuck knows what they've done to her but none of it has been good. I think she is warming up to me though" I reply. He nods in agreement. "Kate sent over her file. It looks like she's been tortured and drugged to comply. Her designation is unknown - but she has been the asset behind all four of the most recent Makarov hits. And several before these too, before we were called up, so she certainly isn't as harmless as she makes out." I find myself nodding too, trying to piece together what all of this means. "Who is she, then?" Soap asks. "Her government name is Y/N Y/L/N - they called her Laika - apparently she was always co-operative, or obedient, I think is the word they used. I guess she was thrashed into submission. They say she is of a gentle, anxious, nature but the drugs helped 'level' her - whatever that means" Price explains.

"Turned her into a puppet, that means. A puppet to do all of their dirty work" I spit back, disgusted and angry. "So the drugs, are they still in her system? Is that why she isn't giving off any scent or signs of her designation?" I ask. "That's something we are going to have to ask her, Kyle. The file mentions that she gets 'topped up' every couple of months when she starts showing resistance" - "Poor girl was trying to fight it" I interrupt Price.

"Don't start getting attached, Garrick." Simon grumbles at me. "Piss off" I snap back.

"I'm tired, let's go to bed, yeah, talk about it in the morning?" I suggest. "Yep, Kyle's right, bed - all of you" Price orders. We all stand and make our way to our room. I glance toward the door of Laika - Y/N's - room and all seems quiet. Hopefully she is sleeping, I think inside my head.

*Back to Laika (Y/N's) POV*

I wake, startled - seeing visions of pools of blood I had been the cause of. Seeing lifeless eyes of those I had killed. I leap out of bed and start feeling my arm for my handkerchief. Shit shit shit. I'd left it somewhere. I slide down the wall panicking, trying to remember where the hell I had put it. All this time at the facility and I'd managed not to lose it. It comes to me all of a sudden. Gaz's jacket. My handkerchief is in the pocket of his jacket. I sneak out of the room and try to quietly tip toe downstairs. The stairs are a bit creaky but being quiet is my speciality. I finally find my way to the room we had been sitting in when I had returned the jacket to Gaz. It wasn't there. My stomach sinks. A single tear falls from my eye. I slump on to the couch and try not to weep. I can't go rooting about looking for it. I will just have to calm myself down and go back to my room. I try to gather myself.

Five, or so, minutes later, I stand and start to make my way back up the stairs. I avoid all of the creaky parts of each stair and successfully make it to the upper landing. I turn toward my room and gently close the door. I fail to notice the dark, masked Alpha, watching my every move. He slinks back into his pack's room, not waking them.

I try to settle back in the bed, failing miserably. I find myself crawling under the bed with a pillow and blanket, feeling safer in an enclosed space. I finally settle into a restless sleep.

[formosusiniquis]

i'll play giles, you be spike

ao3 summer reading starts on monday, your local children's librarian (me) is grabby handing any inspiration they can and running with it.

"There's a vampire in the nonfiction section." Steve says in a harsh whisper that feels louder than if he’d just shouted it from across the room at Robin like he’d wanted to in the first place.

She finishes her spinny chair rotation before saying, "And other rejected Bailey School kid titles. What game is this?"

"It's not a game!” He drops the stack of go-backs he was about to put on the shelf in a thump on the counter. His preference for taking small stacks instead of wheeling the whole cart has served him well both for his sense of dramatics and for his ability to stealth. “There is a Kiefer Sutherland Lost Boys vampire in the nonfiction stacks. Or he’s really more like the dark haired one."

"There really is something for everyone at the library." She says with a dreamy sigh, bringing her folded hands up to her face.

"Robin! Could you be serious for five seconds?"

"Could you? Why are you jumping to vampire when it's obviously just a goth patron?”

He leans further across the desk so he can whisper more aggressively in her face. “Because he was in the 800’s Robin, nobody just goes into the 800’s.”

“Plenty of people go into the 800's, that's where all of the poetry and short stories are?”

“Oh yeah, all the poetry and short stories Diana buys. You tell me the last time you remember a new poetry book hitting the collection that wasn’t for Adelle back in Kids and maybe I’ll believe you about vampire guy.”

She sputters, because he’s right, and he had to listen to her complain about how she never would have heard of Gay Poems for Red States if their digital collection on Libby weren’t so much better stocked than their physical collection. And he’s right about this. 

“You’re not right about this, but let’s pretend you are. Why don’t you go out and live your Bella Swan fantasy then, dingus.”

“Because he’s super hot and intimidating-”

“-and you want him to bite you.”

“And,” he says loud enough that Mrs. Willis over on the computer shushes him. “And you don’t get to make fun of me just because some perky blonde hasn’t shown up to help you live out your little Tinkerbelle fairy fantasy.”

“Excuse me,” a warm, raspy voice pipes up from behind Steve, he doesn’t have to turn to be certain of who it belongs to. But he does, because he gets off on that edge of self-embarrassment and also it’s his literal job.

“How can I help you?”

The bulky leather jacket the guy has on, even though it’s May and basically already the summer, must have him hot. There’s a flush staining his face that is not a point away from Steve’s vampire theory even if he knows Robin is already thinking that it is. He’s wearing a shirt that says Corroded Coffin which is where vampires live, he knows that much even if he never can successfully keep up with Dracula Daily any year he tries.

“Yeah, so I made a bet with a friend that I could find a really specific piece of information before her by going to the library instead of using the internet.” Robin sucks in a sharp breath between her teeth, the sound of Steve’s wince. “I’m playing the long odds, Google kind of sucks now, so I think I’ve got a chance.”

“Steve can help you out,” Robin volunteers, standing up on the foot rest of her wheely chair to give his shoulder a shove. “He’s the best at finding things in the dark, secluded stacks where the cameras can’t see you.”

“Um…”

“Did you already know what you were looking for?” Steve asks, just to stop what is currently happening. “If it’s just the book not being where it’s at I can help you find it. Nonfiction is a pain, and people are always trying to be helpful and put things away; but I guess Hawkins Elementary isn’t teaching decimals like they used to.”

He couldn’t be rambling any worse if he were actually Robin and not the other timeshare owner of their worst brain cell.

Hot vampire guy just watches, a little amused but his smile is closed lipped, because he’s obviously trying to hide his vampire fangs. Not that Steve has a problem with being the hapless victim at the beginning of the Buffy episode, everybody has to go sometime and  if it’s via a hotter Spike it’s better than the way he always assumed he would die (as a casualty of one of Henderson’s sketchy science experiments.)

“I have a confession,” hot vampire guy says, they’ve made it back to where Steve remembers him standing before. 

“Yeah,” he prompts, idly scanning the shelf in front of him. Hopefully projecting whatever air of openness that gets strangers to confess their darkest sins to him unprompted at nine in the morning, so that this hot stranger feels comfortable admitting that he’s a sexy creature of the night.

“I don’t actually need anything from this row, our bet was actually about whether or not you and your coworker are an item.”

Well that wasn’t at all what Steve was hoping he would say. Hot guy -- probably a human hot guy since it is five o’clock and the sun is still high in the sky -- isn’t looking at him. He's straightening up the short story collections and bringing them up neatly to the edge of the shelf, letting his fingers gently flirt with some of the spines in lingering and wanting glances.

“Yeah, we're not together, and you're not her type. Sorry to be the bearer of that bad news.”

Hot guy sputters, mouth opening wide in his haste to deny his interest and revealing moderately sharp but definitely human canines and incisors.. Unfortunate, since Steve doesn't trust anyone who isn't a little obsessed with Robin like he is.

“She seems great,” he says when he's finished spitting all over the books, “she's just not really my type either. Seems like she's more into literary fiction and I’m looking for a guy who’s into campy horror and bad sci-fi.”

“The Star Trek novelizations aren’t bad sci-fi,” he says by rote, having spent too much time with the most annoying nerds in the world who only appreciated door stops that had ‘literary merit.’ Then the rest of the sentence catches up with him. “Oh!”

Hot guy smiles, and smug isn’t something that Steve usually finds attractive but it’s working on him. “I’m Eddie,” he says, “and if you’ll give me a second to win this bet you can tell me how you feel about maybe going out with someone who only plays a vampire on paper.”

[hxneyfarm]

Batter up!

Chapters 1 & 2 coming to AO3 on November 12, 2023, featuring art by @thatnerdemryn and a playlist by @steves-strapcollection, written for @steddiebang

Summary: All Steve wants for the 2023 baseball season is for the media to leave him alone for once. His reputation is still suffering after he was caught last season in a very compromising position with one of his teammates, and he just wants to lay low and play a good season. A trip to the World Series wouldn't hurt either. A voice from his past has other plans, though.

Eddie hasn't been able to forget what the two of them had together when they were in high school, or his promise to Steve when they parted ways the summer after senior year: Someday I'll write a whole album for you. It's been a decade, and all the pieces are in place for Eddie to finally make good on that promise.

Steve is in for a roller coaster of a season.

Sneak peek under the cut

It’s around sunrise when he wakes with his alarm, properly this time, and he finds seven missed calls from Robin, and another text message from her. 

Call me. This is a PR call, not a bestie call. Get up.

So Steve calls his publicist, Robin Buckley, rather than his best friend Rob.

“Jesus, it’s about damn time,” she says by way of greeting.

“I just woke up, Rob. What do you want?”

“Eddie’s album came out today.”

Steve waits, but Robin doesn’t say anything else. “Okay? Why am I supposed to care? I haven’t spoken to Eddie Munson in almost ten years.”

“I need you to open Spotify and just. Look at the album art.”

“I don’t even remember what his fucking band is even called,” Steve lies, putting Robin on speaker, and then he thumbs his way through his apps to open Spotify. Pulling up the search feature, Steve taps in the name of Eddie’s band and right there, under recently released, is the new Corroded Coffin album.

Batter up!, it’s called. 

On the cover is Eddie Munson, looking just as wild as he did in high school and not a day older than he looked the last time Steve saw him. Eddie’s big, dark eyes are trained on the camera, and he’s got his body turned sideways. He is wearing a generic baseball uniform in blue and gray. He’s got a baseball bat positioned between strong thighs, sticking out from between his legs in an obscene suggestion of an erection. There are nails sticking out of the end of the bat and the album title is embossed on the barrel. Eddie’s hand, big and veiny, is gripped around the taper, a light gray sweatband on his wrist. He is either wearing an athletic cup underneath those fucking pants or he’s sporting some very real half chub action. What the hell.

“Jesus H. Christ. Is that… Robin, is that a number seven on his fucking wristband?” Steve asks flatly.

“That’s what you’re focusing on?”

Steve ignores her. He can’t focus on anything else. Not if he wants to keep his hard-won sanity. “We could always sue him.” “That would mean owning up to a lot,” Robin says carefully. “I listened to it, Steve. The lyrics aren’t subtle.”

[bhaalbaaby]

Can I absolutely ask about a breeding fic?

Title: Waves Rush Over (3059 words) Pairing: halsin/f!reader Warnings: breeding kink, slight size and scent kink, praise kink, daddy halsin, fluff and smut, pwp A/N: sorry for the delay 🥹 life keeps happening lol hope you like it

Read on AO3!

Halsin's hands are just one feature you like about him. They tell his stories in more ways than his words. There are callouses and scars, scratches, and are heavy as he rests his hand on your waist and thighs when you sit on his lap. His knuckles can be rougher than bark, especially during the cold. You keep a jar of soothing balm near you at all times to help his cracked skin. Halsin stoically smiles as you apply it, nagging him to take better care of his skin. The children also mimic it, some asking you for mini jars so they can give them to Daddy Halsin if they notice his dry skin. 

Those hands hold many tiny ones at once throughout the day. When his charges are not playing with Thaniel and Oliver, they find Halsin when he's not busy. While his hands are wisened by his years, his features soften. You notice a month after arriving in the former Shadowlands.

If a child isn't adjusting well, Halsin can sense it. He doesn't make the child feel singled out. You catch it once with a young halfling. He kneels in front of them, speaking soft healing words. You can't imagine the trauma the child has seen as you hear the small sniffles escape the even smaller body. Halsin then engulfs them in a hug, cradling the child until they fall asleep. You don't interrupt as you watch, your heart skipping over itself.

Though you have many children who claim you as their new parent, you could see Halsin holding your baby just like this, just as soft. You sigh as you finally leave the sweet scene. If it doesn't happen right away, you'll be fine. There's always the act of making one. 

Halsin knows your body on a molecular level. You wonder if he can read your thoughts when he brings you tea when you're tired, medicine for pain during that time of the month. You notice the times when your hormones are peak that he's friskier. Kisses in the storage closets, his hands exploring your body while you try to cook. Sex happens still but there's never enough time to enjoy it, to indulge like you could before returning to Reithwin. Halsin can feel your frustrations, his little gestures easing some of them. 

As you're helping serve dinner, he rests his hand on your waist, distracting as ever. You stand up straighter, the bowl of sweet greens from the garden on your waist. "May I help you, Daddy Halsin?" You ask, feigning annoyance in front of the children who giggle.

The corners of Halsin's lips curl up slightly as he nods. "Let me take over, my heart. I have a special job for you." Your ears prick up, letting him take the bowl from your hands.

He leans closer than he needs to, whispering in your ear. "Go to the kitchen. I'll be there shortly." You do as you're told, mostly wanting to behave for whatever he has planned for you.

Luckily, your wait isn't long. Halsin puts the bowl on the counter, shaking his head. "These children are growing stronger every day. Good thing for us our harvests have been bountiful." He glances over at you through his dark lashes.

You look away, heat creeping around your collar as you nod. "Yes, the land has blessed us. I hope they never want for nothing."

Halsin steps closer, tilting your chin up to him. You forget how big he is sometimes, the way he towers over you. He presses his lips against yours, pulling away when one of the volunteers comes in to get another bowl of food for the children. They snicker as Halsin still holds you in his arms. "Perhaps we should go somewhere more private," Halsin suggests.

You tilt your head to the side, "Wait, you didn't tell me what my job would be." You interject, gripping his leathery tunic.

"Ah, that." He smirks as he glances towards the door. "In all honesty, there isn't any new charge for you. Well, not yet." He clears his throat. "You're in heat."

Your eyebrows shoot up to your forehead at his blunt statement. "In heat? I'm not like an animal, Halsin," You giggle, his hands sliding from your waist to your ass.

"Not the same intensity as a bear, but I can smell it. When you bent over..." He closes his eyes, breathing deeply. "Your smell is intoxicating. I can barely focus, Tav. All I can think of is taking your body and watching you swell." You feel hot prodding on your stomach, proof that Halsin is telling the truth. He can't go back out there in this state.

"Poor bear," You coo as he leans down, pressing his forehead against yours. He exhales, growling softly. "I need you, Tav. Now," He growls, pawing you closer. Pressure builds between your thighs as you start to ache for him. If he doesn't move you now, he'll be forced to take you to the kitchen. You hope the cooks don't mind the clattering of pots and pans.

Halsin picks you up with ease as he leads you into his private room on the main floor. He sleeps in here when bedtime stories go on forever and the stairs are daunting so he says. You don't mind it as he shuts and locks the door. He barely gives you time alone as he sweeps you up in a passionate kiss, your breathing becoming one. You smell the woodsy musk and mint on his breath as your tongues intertwine. He groans, his arms wrapping around your waist, keeping your body flush against his. You close your eyes as you stand on your tiptoes, trying to keep up as he sways, getting lost in the kiss. You pull away, searching for breath as his lips travel down your neck, his hands searching as if trying to pull you even closer, melt you into him. The kisses continue down your chest as you fumble with your top, trying to free your skin from his lips.

He ignores the attempts as he gets on his knees. He stares up at you, his breathing heavy. "You are beautiful, my love." You laugh softly as you pull your restraints from your body, finally topless. You can't think of anything to say back feeling dizzy.

Halsin buries his face between your thighs, inhaling your arousal. You hold your breath, his face and breath warm. Each inhale causes you to throb more as you swallow hard. He sits back on his knees, smirking as he spreads your legs. You've seeped through your pants, the mark is more obvious as he stares. Without a second thought, he leans forward, his tongue slowly swiping up. Your moan catches in your throat, trying to stay quiet. Halsin continues regardless, his tongue swirling on the darkening spot on your pants. Your legs tremble as he teases you, his hands slipping from your thighs to resting on your ass to keep you standing. You bite your lip, massaging your sensitive nipples. Each tweak makes your hips jolt away from his mouth causing a dissapproving growl from Halsin. He pulls away, his eyes between your pants and your flushed face.

"Do not hold yourself back, my love. You surely aren't down here," He whipsers, as he drags your ruined clothes down. You try your best to kick them off, but they get stuck on your heel. You're grateful Halsin is on his knees as he carefully slips the fabric over your feet, tossing them away. He chuckles, his hazel eyes darken as he drags his fingers over your thighs.

"The thought of you dripping with me is too much to bear." His breathing becomes more pronounced as he speaks, his mouth waters.

"I can't take much more waiting." You say, your senses awakening as your nose pricks.

He doesn't need more encouragement to give in to his temptations. You lean back into the wall as his tongue laps at your folds, his hands keeping your legs firmly apart. You finally audibly moan as you watch him feast, his tongue flicking at your clit. His lips wrap around it, suckling the nerves. Your toes curl as his tongue continues its lithe licks. The sensations are overwhelming as you reach for something other than his hair to grab onto. 

He buries his tongue between your folds as you grip his broad shoulders, moaning out as he presses you against the wall. He bobs his head back and forth, his tongue thrusting in and out of your dripping sex. His hands massage your ass as you tremble, feeling so weak each time his tongue enters, swirling around. You can barely say his name, your mouth unable to form words, thoughts barely forming beside the pressure building in your stomach. He glances up at you, his tongue dragging up to your swollen clit.

You curse, your hips jutting against the druid's face. He presses your hips against his hungry mouth as he suckles your clit, groaning as you writhe, trying to move away from the immense pleasure. He removes his mouth, raising his eyebrow as you gaze down at his face, panting as you try to catch your breath in this moment of reprieve.

"You are sweeter than any honey, my heart. Please, sing to me." He says as he guides your hips back to him, his mouth quickly finding your swollen button and making acquaintances as he flicks and swirls his tongue around it.

"I can't take this much longer." You cry out as your legs rest on his shoulders, wrapping around his head. He moans in response, his head rocking up and down as his tongue guides up from your entrance to your clit and back down, his nose pressed against your clit.

You're on the verge of exploding when you feel his thick finger prod at your hole his tongue making its way back to your clit. You gasp as he thrusts in, your stomach tightening. You try to run away again, but his other hand is firm on your backside. His gorgeous eyes glance up at you watching the ecstasy paint your face as he quickens his pace.

He pulls away briefly, licking his lips. "The way you squeeze around my finger... I can only imagine how you'll feel around my cock, accepting my seed." You massage your breasts again, wincing as you rock your hips with his digit, feeling so close.

"Please," You beg, not wanting to come from his mouth and fingers. You crave his cock more than ever.

He smiles as he carefully removes your legs from his shoulders. His hand however doesn't leave between your thighs, his middle finger thrusting inside and claiming your hole for him. You try to squeeze your legs together to minimize the gushing noises that escape to no avail.

He chuckles as he looks down, "Dripping to the floor. You are quite the sight." You glance up at him, pouting that he hasn't fucked you yet. He leans down kissing you breathless. Your head swims as you gain autonomy of your hands, reaching for his breeches and tugging them down. His heavy cock springs out, searching for your heat. You wrap your hands around his girth while his tongue and yours dance. You love how you taste on him, the essence of your arousal only adding to his delicious taste.

He pulls away, growling. His eyes are shut tight. "I must have you now." You wonder if the wall would give if he wild shapes into a bear now, but the thought fades as he picks you up, guiding your hips up to his cock. You wrap your arms around his neck, peppering kisses on his jaw as his hands sink your hips on his thick member. You rest your damp forehead against his jaw as you moan, your breathing ragged. You try not to give into the pleasure right away, your hole quivering as he slowly thrusts inside.

"Oak Father bless me." He moans, his fingers digging into your soft skin as he picks up his pace. You rest back on the wall as you attempt to watch him. His leather tunic is still on, not like he cares. You drag your fingers down his chest, panting. "You're amazing," Halsin moans with a small breathless laugh. He leans closer using the wall as leverage as he picks up his pace, filling you the brim with each thrust. You can't keep your moans down, pleasurable cries escaping your body as your cunt weeps for him.

"Fill me up please, my love. Breed me." You moan, resting your forehead against his. He groans at the statement, smirking as he bounces your body on his cock. "Oh, my heart. I will. Your womb will only know my seed." His mouth sloppily kisses yours, the wet sounds each time his cock fills your hole music to both of your ears. You whimper feeling his balls smack against your ass, his cock pressing deep inside.

His hands wrap around your hips, the extra force of his grip sending pleasure pangs throughout your whole body. You both need this. Your hips seize up as you push his cock out, the knots in your lower stomach too much to bear. He rubs his cock against your slit and cock as you stiffen in his hands, and goosebumps rush from your head to your toes. He chuckles as the orgasm ripples through you. "Such a beautiful sight." He whispers before gathering you up.

He carries you to your bed, the frame sinking as he climbs on top of you, his legs pushing yours up. He runs his hand down your neck to your hips, keeping you still as he slowly thrusts inside. You reach behind your head for the pillow, mewling as his cock claims you. Your mind clouds with only thoughts of him as he continues with his previous pace, pounding you into the bed. The bed is less forgiving, the squeaking and headboard hits against the wall with each thrust. You don't mind the extra noise as your nails dig into the feather-down pillow, fingertips pricked by the calamus.

He leans down, his intoxicating kiss taking over your senses again as he presses against your c-spot. You can feel his cock pulsating with each thrust, his grunts more pronounced. "Ah, I'm so close, my heart."

You whimper as you kiss him in response, your teeth dragging on his bottom lip. "Claim me, my body is yours." You moan as you let go of the pillow. Your hands meet as he presses your wrists down against the bed. He leans up, the headboard erratic as his face contorts, his hips flush with yours as he explodes. The feeling of his emission inside drives you over the edge again, your eyes closed tight as you cry for him.

His nose is stuffy as he breathes through his nose, trying to calm down. He keeps his cock inside of you as he sits back, rubbing your clit. You close your thighs together, his other hand rubbing his shaft. "Every drop belongs to you," He whispers as you clench around his softening member. You sit up on your elbows, rocking your hips against his. He laughs softly, his hand leaving his cock on your waist.

"I'm not as young as I feel." He admits. You roll your eyes as he readjusts, letting you ride him.

"I want every drop," You purr, bouncing your ass against his thighs.

He practically tears his shirt off as he throws it on the floor. "You may have it," Halsin replies, spreading your ass as you ride. "The need to breed you..." He lies back against the bed, spreading his legs slightly to give himself more leverage. You can feel his shaft harden, ready for more as he hits your spot once more.

Your legs tremble as you rock your hips. "I want it. I want to be your breeding whore." You moan as he takes over your pace, thrusting hard into you, his arms wrapping around your torso to hold you down.

You can't handle the immense pleasure that erupts throughout your body, your moans turning into breathless screams. "That's it. Good girl..." Your nostrils flare at the nickname, driving you insane.

"Please, Halsin, fill me." You pant, before biting and sucking his neck.

His growl vibrates in your mouth as he holds his hips against yours for a moment before picking up his speed again. He curses under his breath as his thrusts are more reckless, the familiar pulsing filling your hole as you throb around him, so close to another orgasm. His hand leaves your waist, finding your hair, tugging your face to his. "I love you," He groans, holding your face in place before Mount Halsin erupts again, overwhelming your cunt as his thrusts slow to sharp and precise ones. His moans are better than any song you've ever heard as he coaxes you to orgasm making you join him in a hueless haze.

You roll off him, breathing heavily. He sits up slightly as your legs spread, his seed seeping out. "Such a delicious sight. Had I more energy, I'd pound it back into you. Not one drop wasted." He remarks, ignoring the heat that comes to your cheeks. He leans over, suckling your nipple.

"Halsin," You whimper, your body a live wire. He pulls away with a small pop.

"The night is still young... I will get us some food and we'll dine up in our room."

You raise your eyebrow at the implication. He smiles as he slips off the bed. "We'll need some energy if we are to continue."

"Continue?" You ask coyly as you roll to your side.

He nods. "You will be thoroughly bred tonight, Tav." He grabs his pants and his ripped shirt from the floor. He nods at the door next to the bed. "That door leads to a secret staircase to our bedroom. Do not put anything on. I want you as you are. Just as nature intended."

You giggle as you slowly get off the bed, your legs not quite ready. "Do not keep me waiting." You say with a wink before disappearing up the staircase, excited for what the night will bring.

taglist: @spacebarbarianweird @tragedybunny @astarionsbeloved @thedancingbun @razrogue @celestialomlette @rentheannihilator @rinmoon7

[starry-bi-sky]

ive been hesitating to ask this bc youve been on a roll with the clone^2au (which i am frothing over) but could i poke you for some childhood friend au? bc GOD i wanna see how danny reacts to reuniting w jason or how the rest of the batfam react to learning jason never told danny of his resurrection or wondering if dannys gonna put jokers dead body on a display/offering to jasons grave. i havent been normal about this since i first read it and was wondering. thank you for your writing.

RAAAAHHHH DON'T BE HESITANT I AM JUST AS FERAL OVER MY CHILDHOOD FRIENDS AU AS I AM WITH CLONE^2 I AM DELIGHTED BY THIS. Like.,,,, i literally love them,,, so much. I can't listen to The Crane Wives without thinking of them.

(which is my fault - the ao3 fic of them has literally only crane wives lyrics for each chapter title and summary (posted AND the ones not written) so of course im gonna associate with them.)

(if you wanna listen to some of their songs while thinking of cfau here are my recommendations: "Once & for All", "Here I Am", "Hollow Moon" is a Danny AND Jason song to me, this would be my go-to song for an animatic of CFAU if i had the skills for it. "Tongues and Teeth", "Curses" and "take me to war" is a heavy cfau danny song to me, and of course, "the moon will sing")

Like they're BEST friends dude, they're two sides of the same coin and when they were kids they would do this thing where their 'fingers crossed'/'double-crossed' was them hooking their index fingers in the fingers crossed gesture.

and i'm actually currently rewriting my original post into a more fic-like format, and when I'm done I'll post it on here under the cfau tag - with the original post still in tact. But its,,, gonna be so long dude,,,, the original behemoth was just over 9000 words,,, and I've written 3k words already of the new one and we haven't even reached Jason and Danny reuniting at the gala yet,,, i need to get back to that,,,

and then to answer your questions!! god im almost hesitant to answer because i dont wanna spoil the little fic i had planned for it but also like,, its not like im gonna spoil everything, right? and answering the questions isnt the same as writing the scene down so!!

i love danny and jason's reuniting, like i've thought about it SO much and I've thought about it happening after Danny kills the Joker. I know the reveal could have been before that, and it could have been equally just as dramatic but like??? Thematically, doing it after danny kills the joker is SO good. To me at least.

Because like?? Jason's been in somewhat denial about danny's plan to kill the joker for months. ever since danny told him that he wanted to at the gala. And from Jason's pov its not even technically a plan. He sees his best friend for the first time after five years and his best friend still isn't over his death. He hasn't stepped foot in Gotham since his funeral and now suddenly he's here.

And he's still so full of grief over his death that he tells a masked vigilante that he's going to kill the guy that did it, who lives in said masked vigilante's city. And danny's got that look in his eyes that Jason knows so well that means he's being serious. And yet he still doesn't know if he should believe him or not.

And then he does. Danny kills him. And Jason can't fucking believe it. And when he goes and sees Danny, Danny's hands are still covered in blood. And that reunion? God like a fucking firework show. Danny's so fucking angry, and pissed, and hurt, and so goddamn overjoyed that he's alive and here that he sends them both to the ground, and if he doesn't calm down he's gonna take out the power in a five block radius.

there's just so, so much yelling on Danny's end. And then so much crying, first from Danny and then them both. because god, you're alive. you're here. i've missed you so much. i'm never letting you out of my sights again.

and Joker's death! God I don't want to actually say too much about that, but the way I have it set up thematically makes me actually not want danny to take any part of the joker with him as an offering. and he may actually forego that particular ghost etiquette and offer something else as an offering to Jason in substitute to not bringing him the Joker's heart/head/ritualistic body part.

Because you know what the last thing a man whose been spending the last two decades of his life building himself up to be larger than life would want? A death that's unremarkable. :) and that's all i'll put on the matter for now.

and the batfam!! they technically already know that jason hasn't told danny he was resurrected, and plenty of them have mixed feelings on them. largely bruce and dick i think, considering they saw firsthand how close jason and danny were when they were kids.

Dick was honestly surprised at first when he found out that Jason hadn't told Danny he was alive - and on one hand he understands the reasoning for it, and on the other hand he isn't sure if it was such a good idea. Especially after he sees Danny again after he arrives back in Gotham and sees just how badly Jason's death was still affecting him. But it's not like he's going to try and convince Jason to tell him - he can make his own choices, even if Dick has questions about them.

Bruce has much the same thoughts as Dick, so there's not really much to add here other than he might bring it up once or twice to Jason like, vaguely. And then immediately drops it when Jason shuts him down. He might actually somewhat...?? prefer that Jason hasn't told Danny because that raises a lot of questions and could jeopardize their identities. However, again, Jason can make his own choices and there's not much Bruce can do about it other than disapprove from afar.

Tim who knew of Danny from stalking the Wayne family shares similars sentiments of being surprised that Jason didn't tell Danny, but again, yeah, understands the thought process to some extent. Doesn't bring it up ever.

Everyone else who hadn't seen firsthand how close Danny and Jason are don't really have much opinion on it -- Jason didn't tell his best friend he was alive, great, he also didn't tell them either so it's not like its that much of a surprise. It would've been more of a surprise to them if Jason had told Danny before he told Bruce and co. Damian may make a comment or two about Jason not telling Danny, but its not about how he can't believe he didn't tell him or anything like it.

[twilightarc-gm]

ao3 Wrapped 2024 - twilightarc

Instead of an ask game I decided to just answer the questions on the sourced post that I can answer for my own benefit and fun.

How many words have you written this year? Ao3 Published: 310,834

How many works did you publish this year? 7 Complete / 13 Total

What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)? Always 'mainfic' i.e. This River Runs Beyond Heaven and Earth [江流天地外] I put so much work into it for fanfic. Why? I got mental health issues, I guess.

What work of yours has the most hits? I Long For You (相思) Hits: 5,311

What work of yours got more feedback than you expected? Damn your love, damn your lies. Everyone is VERY VOCAL (affectionate) about Jiang Cheng being in a loveless marriage and needing a divorce pronto. 🥰

Favorite title you used Again, mainfic's title taken from a poem and has a wealth of description to it that really sets the tone for the entire story. Never gonna top that.

If you use song lyrics, which artist’s songs did you pull from the most? "damn your love, damn your lies" is the only song title and it's from Fleetwood Mac - The Chain

Pairing you wrote the most for this year? CHENGXIAN to no one's surprise...

Favorite pairing you wrote for this year? Obviously this is also ChengXian but only because I haven't actually got to Jiang Cheng/Hu Touxiang(OC) this year.

What work was the quickest to write? To Endeavor is to Endure (4,331 words) This was a prompt fill, I did it in like two days ish.

What work took you the longest to write? Of the complete works: The BigBang2024 entry I ended up doing as a series with my co-author Specs. It took 6 months to write. YM3 Gen fic with MSY worldbuilding 🤲 Reprieve and a New Start and The Turning Point

How many WIP’s do you have in your docs for next year? 19!

What’s your longest work of the year? My most viewed work this year! I Long For You @ (45,781 words)

What’s your shortest work of the year? The prompt one-shot which is my 'quickest' (4,331 words)

What WIP are you taking into next year with you?

What’s your most common “Additional Tags” tag? Not counting the "structural tags" of my "flavor" tags it's: Protective Wei Ying | Wei Wuxian (3) 🥰

Your favorite character to write this year? Jiang Cheng | Jiang Wanyin (9)!!

The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year? 😣 LWJ in divorce fic. I hate writing him. It was really hard to convey his own issues and insecurities while not making him say too much or explain himself too readily.

What’s one pairing you want to explore next year? Jiang Cheng/Hu Touxiang!!! No more posting WIPs for me in 2025 I need to buckle down to get mainfic really going!

Which work of yours have you reread the most? 😅 If not mainfic then Red Tin of Heresy because I dunno what's going on with the vibes on that one but I keep rereading hoping I'll learn something from the demon that possessed me.

How many kudos in total did you get this year? Kudos: 1,050 !! And that's with works locked down which is really nice for me because I got more kudos the year I only posted 5 works when I left things unlocked.

Which work has the most comments?

Did you do any collaborative works this year? Yes! For BigBang 2024 with my friend Specs😘 and the divorce fic with/for @spriteofmushrooms. Oh! and CX Zine 2024 fic with @kabybaali who came up with the idea and wonderful art!

Did you write any gifts this year? Three!!

Did you receive any gifts this year? Five! From @groundwiremantaray Mission: Survive the Date (T rated chengxian SpyxFamily AU, very cute!) and from Specs Still Sparkling in the Night (T rated chengxian with Chinese Mythology!). Also a beautiful art gift scaly sweetheart by sugar_shoal and @notluceo fanart of Cheng-lang and Ya-Xian!! AND a beautiful gifset from @add1ctedt0you for one of my first one-shots Of Summer and Smiles

What’s your most common category? M/M (5)

What do you listen to while writing? Usually something wordless like industrial techno on loop.

Favorite work you wrote this year? Of the complete stuff: I Long For You, I really enjoyed writing the sex scene in that one because it was a lot of ebb and flow and from top!JC's pov.

Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

Biggest surprise while writing this year?

Not doing the last two because of recency bias 🤣 like hell I can remember something like that to compare over an entire year!

[dangerousduckcloud]

Flowerbeds make up for a nice eternal rest

Read it also on AO3

“Couldn’t sleep.” You replied, putting the well-loved copy of the book back in the shelf. “What about you?” “Yeah, same.” He sat down on the couch, legs spread and elbows resting on his knees. “Hard to do so when you learn your whole life is a lie… Just ink on paper.”

I've been updating daily, however I've noticed the quality is not quite good sometimes (today, for example), so I'll be taking longer to update, maybe once a week/2 weeks or so, I'm sorry for this, but I wish to write something of good quality

Chapter 6 < > Chapter 8

taglist: @kurai-hono-blog

Fingers ghosting over the spines of the books, you're surprised to see so many titles familiar to you, from Lord of the Rings, Jurassic Park, all the way to Jane Austen books, some of them more worn than the others, a small smile creeping up your face at the thought of knowing just who read these books so many times.

A new question —added to the many that’ve appeared since you accepted you’re in some other reality— popped on your mind, if so many things in their world are similar to yours; people, social functions, historical events, what was so different that led yours not having superheroes and vigilantes? There’s no Gotham, no Metropolis, no Star City, nothing.

Did this mean they simply do not exist, or they just didn’t want to make themselves known? Here, everything started with Superman. If he existed in your reality, what made him not want to help people? Had he been captured by the government instead of the Kents? Had his ship landed someplace else? Are there other planets out there?

So many questions, so many possibilities, not a single answer.

The book authors are the same as your world; Tolkien, Crichton, Austen… Not just a coincidence in people here writing books with the same title, so it begs the question of a point you mentioned last night.

Does this mean there's another version of yourself in this world? Is there a different version of them in yours?

“You alright?”

It didn’t matter how many times you would hear that voice, it will always send shivers down your body, making your heart skip a beat. Turning around towards the voice, the early morning light deluged him in a pink-golden light, water droplets falling to the floor, he was only dressed in black pants and a tight black shirt that didn’t seem comfortable, his muscly arms threatening to rip it apart.

His unnaturally vibrant green eyes were more focused on the book you were holding —Little Women— rather than your face.

“Couldn’t sleep.” You replied, putting the well-loved copy of the book back in the shelf. “What about you?”

“Yeah, same.” He sat down on the couch, legs spread and elbows resting on his knees. “Hard to do so when you learn your whole life is a lie… Just ink on paper.”

“I don’t think it is.” With long strides, you sat down next to him, an ample space left between you two. “The fact that you’re here with me discussing about this mess should mean that you’re more than just a puppet created to entertain. You’re a human being, with feelings, thoughts, ideas… Who knows, maybe someone from your world came to mine and wrote your life story.”

“You think so?”

“Yeah, of course. If you were simply the mere product of a writer, how could I be here, when I’m not?” This whole time he’d been looking at the floor, lost in his mind, finally turning to look you in the eyes. “I’m as lost in this as you are, but the one thing I’m certain, is that you’re real, Jason. As real as the moon and the stars.”

It was immensely evident something continued plaguing his mind, his eyebrows drawn and eyes unfocused, you knew how lost he must feel like, having felt the same just the night before, but whatever conclusion he came to, his face searched yours once again, a tired, tight smile on his face.

----

Breakfast had been a chaotic affair, having to explain to the rest of the family present in the house what endured after you woke up in the cave, Tim and Cass having long gone to sleep after they were sure you were safe.

“So, we’re not real?”

“You are, just not in my world. At least not like this.” Your meal had long gotten cold, being bombarded with questions that left you no time to take a bite. “There are no vigilantes there. Also, I’m sorry, Tim.”

“What for?”

“I thought you were delusional.”

Everyone in the table laughed, with Tim throwing you a harmless glower, even Alfred coughing to hide his smile.

“This is intriguing.”

You nodded at Cass’ response, at last grabbing your fork to eat your cold scrambled eggs, attempting not to make faces at the taste.

“So…” Tim spoke once again after refiling his cup of coffee for the third time. “Everything that we’ve suffered, is all just because someone wrote it?”

All eyes were laid on you, your face pale and mouth dry suddenly.

You couldn’t say no, because you still didn’t know how this worked, and you didn’t think you’ll ever find out, was your world shaping theirs, or was it theirs shaping the stories you were shown?

But you also didn’t want to say yes, because that would mean…

Unconsciously, your eyes wandered over to Jason, eyes locking for a second, his neutral demeanor changing into a raised eyebrow.

“Why did I die?”

“I… I don’t know.”

Cass raised a brow as well, her words clipped. “You’re lying.”

It was way better when you still thought they were just crazy, with no interrogations to interrupt your breakfast.

“There… There was a poll.” Avoiding everyone’s faces, you spoke to the table, voice as small as possible, however, with them being the detectives they were, they still could make out your words, if the gasps were any indication.

“A poll?” Jason reiterated, outraged. When you looked up, green eyes filled with hate was the only thing you could focus on. “A poll to decide my fate? A fucking poll?”

“I—Jason, they—”

“They what? Why would they do something like this!?” His eyes were glowing, hands closing into fists. “I was fifteen! Why would you do this? Who the fuck would think of killing a teenager!?”

“Wh—Me!?” You stood up, chair dragging behind you. “Jason, I wasn’t even born when that happened! And—and from what I read; they didn’t even think they’d do it.”

“Oh, and that’s supposed to make me feel better?”

Tears were prickling your eyes, mouth left hanging open. He had every right to be angry, everyone would, however the hate directed to you was unwarranted. The rest of them were looking at you, faces unreadable, except Dick’s, his eyes red, but whether it was for the current situation or remembering Jason’s murder, you didn’t know, maybe it was both.

It was clear none would come to your rescue, too disgruntled and sorrowful on Jason’s behalf.

“What do you mean you weren’t even born?” Tim asked, his investigative soul winning against his feelings. Or maybe this was his way to deal with the pain. “You’re Jason’s age, you were fourteen.”

Sniffing, you cleared your tears with the sleeves of your shirt. “I don’t know how time works here. That happened in the… The eighties, I think. I was born in the 2000’s.”

“This doesn’t make any sense.” He mumbled. “The years…” And without another word, he left the kitchen, quickly followed by Jason, although taking another path.

“Jason, wait.”

But your words fell on deaf ears. You hadn’t known Jason for a day, and he already hated you.

“I’m sorry.” Apologizing for everything you’d done and everything you didn’t, you walked out the kitchen as well, not a clear destination in mind.