#i'll probably follow the actors a bit

[felassan]

David Gaider on Zevran, under a cut for length:

"I was going to skip over Zevran, honestly, as I felt like I didn't have a lot to tell in the way of stories about him... but I know he still has some (ardent) fans. Plus, on reflection, I thought maybe I DO have a few things to say. 😅 Sooo we'll see how this goes. Zevran came along much later in the DAO process, as we were trying to round out the cast of party members. Alistair and Morrigan were well underway (as "main" characters, they were concepted very early) and I'd just started to consider who our Rogue followers might be when... things changed, a bit. See, BioWare had released a game not long beforehand called Jade Empire. It had included some same-sex options in its romances - not obscured like the way Juhani's "romance" had been hinted at in KotOR, but explicit. To this day, I have no idea who on the Jade Empire team was behind it, or why. More to the point, the same-sex options had received a lot of attention and praise - almost universal praise, in fact. In 2005, everyone was just pleasantly surprised. And I don't recall if I went to James and asked about it or if he came to me to suggest DAO should include it. The latter, I think."

"You might ask "Aren't you gay, Dave? Weren't you already pushing for this?" And the answer to that is, emphatically, "no, not at all". It might seem odd looking through the lens of 2024, but there was no talk of 'representation' or 'diversity'. Not at any level where we were aware of it, anyhow. Today, fans argue about how MUCH representation to include and whether it's done well enough... the idea that, less than twenty years ago, it being included *at all* was very much in doubt feels so far away. But, back then, I'd always assumed my private life and my work in games would never meet. So I think it was James who brought it up, because I remember being startled. Pleasantly so, of course. Now I had to look at our two rogues and figure out how this would apply. I sketched out the female of the two (who was taken on by Sheryl Chee) and then looked at the male - he who became Zevran. I'd been reading about the CIA and one thing that stuck with me was how they'd (allegedly) recruit gay men as assassins because they rarely had familial ties. Zevran wasn't going to be gay (bisexuality wasn't a question of representation, but a cost-benefit compromise) but that was the inspiration."

"Then there was the question of how "flamboyantly" I was writing this character, whether that might be too stereotypical? I don't remember how it arose, but I had too many "flamboyant" friends to do anything other than double down. This character was gonna be Zorro the goddamn Gay Blade, that's what. So that's how Zevran happened. Fun, a bit nihilistic, maybe a bit too overtly flirty for today's audience but very confidently *sexual*. Everything I'm not, so I'll admit it was an interesting exploration to dig down and find that voice somewhere inside. He was the anti-Alistair, and I needed that. Casting him was difficult. Caroline always tried to go for authentic accents, when we could, but for some reason this was getting us nowhere. I think back, and I suspect it's because I hadn't yet learned the lesson to not use terms in casting descriptions I thought were universal... but were not. What do I mean by that? Well, there was one write-up that said "drow elf". Now, I know what a drow elf is. It wasn't even important to the description, but the director saw the word "elf", and you know what we got back? A Keebler elf. Like a leprachaun, high and sweet and cutsie. Can you imagine?"

"In this case, I think it was the use of the word "assassin". Combine that with the sorts of roles many Hispanic actors in LA probably are asked to play, and all the auditions we were getting were 150% dark, mean, and gritty. 🫠 So we widened the casting call a bit, and this led us to Jon Curry. I knew Jon wasn't Hispanic, but what I wasn't prepared for when I flew down to meet the DAO actors was that he's this extremely tall, extremely Nordic looking dude who just happened to do the most amazing Antonio Banderas impression. Watching THAT man channel Zevran was... more than a bit surreal. 😅 And he had fun with it. As soon as we gave him the go ahead to play the fun and flirtiness to the hilt, that's exactly what he did. Over the few days where we found Zevran's voice, it totally supplied me with something I could hold in my head when I went back to Edmonton and finished writing him. Zevran was funny enough that the fans liked him. The only part of the reception I thought odd was the occasional comment by a male player who felt "tricked" into having sex with Zevran. "You mean... that part where he invites you to his tent for a sensual massage?" "Yes! I was expecting a massage!" "He literally says the massage is sensual." "Well he wasn't clear enough!" This is where I first came to the conclusion that a certain number of our players just don't know how to people. And that maybe an adjustment to the way we approached the messaging (or massaging lol) of romance was in order. If I could go back, would I change anything? Maybe I'd remind the systems team Zevran should really be able to pick a lock. And maybe not allow him to die. We had no idea we'd need to import these choices into the future - we kinda thought DAO was "one and done". Not so much, as it turned out. 😁"

[source thread]

David Gaider: "there's something to be said about how Zevran flirted and even had sex with you because he thought that's all he had to offer... not just you, but anyone. And when he realized you wanted something deeper, suddenly he was on unsteady ground and it truly unsettled him. It was fun to explore." [source]

User: "So David - besides loving the fact that the third image you picked is a gay sex scene - what happened in DA2(DAE - come on) with Zevrans design?" David Gaider: "Check the ALT text. It wasn’t a custom sculpt, so that’s as close as they could get it. Which… was not close." [source]

User: "Just to make sure I fully understand: the director (was it the voice director?) saw the word "elf" and thought you were looking for someone high, sweet, and cutesie?" David Gaider: "Yeah, this was from back before we managed VO in-house. The voice director in this case just didn’t have an association with “elf” like some familiar with fantasy would." [source]

[moonsaver]

wheover that anon was that spoke up about mr reca I LOVE U WE SHOULD KISS

ALSO YESSS IRIS FAM MEMBER! READER WHOS AN ACTRESS/ACTOR!!! just imagine being THE mr. reca’s favorite thespian he’s ever worked with oh my gosh im drooling rn 😍🥰😋🔥😜

Yes anon!! Very real of the other anon. And of you.

This is yandere, so tw

Iris!Reader who's an actress/actor would smash. Imagine despite your humble beginnings and barely being able to keep your family afloat you make it. Although perhaps our beloved actor/actress doesn't quite fit the beauty standard, or they haven't made their debut in a popular film, or maybe they just aren't what most movies are focused on right now, considering the disparity between an actor's range and the genres they might partake in.

Here comes Mr. Reca, swooping you from who knows where, plopping you down into a makeup chair and reading the script to you at 50 words/sec speed. You have no idea where you are or what's going on before you're pushed onto the movie set, completely winded before Mr. Reca throws his hands up all "oh alright! Since you can't get the hang of this yet, I'll lend you a hand" or whatever excuse he loves to pull out of his ass. He personally guides you with the movie scripts, drags you along to any parties he may have to attend, forces you "into the filming sphere" or whatever by "exposure". You could be sleeping and he'd blast into your personal residence at 4 in the morning, and drag you along. He probably even forces you to sit down and listen to all his ideas and brainstorming sessions.

The more time you spend with him, the more sense he eventually makes. It's strange, and you almost end up questioning if you might be going insane. But you brush it off, because you realise he's been caring to you. Unlike most directors, he does care for his cast. He does provide a hospitable atmosphere to work with, which makes you realise just why your co-stars are so eager to please him. Mr. Reca, although insane and hard to decipher, makes you almost gravitate towards him when his eccentricities are laid bare before you.

Every time your short contract ends, he's already got the next one printed out and ready for you to sign. You appear so often beside him, it's unusual for you not to. Often, you make headlines with Mr. Reca backing you up. It's all in the palm of his hands when he gets you to stardom.

Oh, but isn't it a bit too much?

Nosy paparazzi that continually stalk and harass you, fans or even those that despise you call you or your family, people surrounding your home just to get a glimpse of your daily life, drivers who follow your car everywhere.. it's a bit too much for your pretty little head to handle. Mr. Reca is all too familiar with these pests. Why don't you stand closer and let him deal with them? Nevermind the fact he paid them, or that he's been rather eager to practice method acting with you.

Speaking of, he's replaced all your co-stars whenever it comes to suggestive or intimate scenes, considering himself as their stand-in since, well.. You're more comfortable with him, aren't you? You've been under his wing for so long, it's easier for you to do these uncomfortable scenes with him, instead of those no good actors.

You're not sure when it happens, but you notice the amount of cast dwindling until it's you and him, all alone. The movies are beautiful, but it's hard to hide the shivering by just pure acting skills when you realise no one has you in their grasp as much as Mr. Reca. His eager, insane eyes watching you like a rabid animal hidden behind a camera when you act all alone on a solitary set. This is the last time he allows the privilege of your visage on the lens, before you mysteriously go missing. You are meant for only the lens of his observant eyes, he states, as though confessing a haunting realisation.

Oh well, you can continue acting. Just remember your audience. It's only him you have to consider pleasing.

[ylangelegy]

omg "what? me? jealous? never." with junhui please! 🫶🫶

ⵌ actor!jun x actress!reader. ⵌ word count: 988 ⵌ notes: co-stars, secret relationship, pet names ('pretty girl'), suggestive joke, all my favorite tropes in a drabble. i miss this man sooo bad.

Jun loves award shows.

He loves having an excuse to dress up, loves getting to interact with other groups a little more openly, loves the special stages they get to put on. And if his gorgeous girlfriend happens to be a special emcee, well— that only makes it a much better night.

He's not allowed to be too excited, of course. He's always careful not to blow his cover. At most, the boys just seem to assume that you're his favorite co-star.

If only they knew that Jun's had the privilege of your heart for the past couple of years.

There's a bit of a thrill in sneaking around, in having to pull out his acting chops. Tonight, Jun lies about having to go to the bathroom, fields Minghao's invites for accompaniment, and navigates through all the other tables. Your text had been the only prompting he needed. It's like a waltz; his eyes on your back, the distance he keeps.

You side step in to a corner, behind a curtain, and he follows. The entire venue of idols, of actors, of Korea's biggest stars are none the wiser.

Jun's hands find immediate purchase at your waist. "Hey, pretty girl," he greets smoothly, that bright smile of his already lighting up his face.

You'll probably only have three minutes, but three minutes is all that Jun needs. He doesn't waste time. "Saw you on the red carpet earlier. You were stunning," he hums, his face going to nuzzle the underside of your ear.

"I think you're a little bit biased," you shoot back, unable to resist a jab. Your facade of annoyance is betrayed by the smile that's threatening to fill your own face. "But I think I can let it pass for tonight, 'specially since that suits of yours looks so good on you."

"I'd look even better out of it," he says unrepentantly. His arms tighten around your waist, holding you close when you try to pull back and away.

You let out a groan. Jun laughs softly.

Jun's lips brush against your jaw, then down the line of your throat. His nose skims your skin as he takes a breath. "You smell nice," he mumbles.

Cinnamon, sugar, vanilla. The same scent as his own cologne.

"You got me this at your Japan stop," you answer, your hands resting at his hips. It's not much, but it'll have to do for now.

"I should get you a perfume every time we have a stop abroad," he says.

"Yah, don't do that. You have expensive tastes. And you already get me too many things whenever you're on tour."

"What's the point of being an established artist at my big age if I can't spoil my pretty girl a little?" he grumbles petulantly. He tilts his head to press a kiss over your pulse. "Besides," he adds after a moment, "I like that you smell like me."

Smelling like Jun was just another one of those things. His subtle reminders in the form of innocuous couple items that only the two of you knew about. Cologne and perfume with similar notes, matching silk pajamas, rubber shoes from the same line. A quiet litany of mine, mine, mine in your every day lives.

You give a bright, warm laugh as you mumble into his hair, "I'll wear it more often, then."

You are so bad for him. A walking, talking dopamine rush. Everything about you makes Jun feel a little lightheaded, a little dizzy. Like he's had one too many to drink.

But you're also the one who sobers him up, the one who always says, "We should probably get going."

"Do we have to?" he whines. His arms around you tighten. He knows the answer to his question— yes, yes, you have to go. But he can't help wishing otherwise. "Five more minutes?"

Your nth sigh of the night. Even then— "Five more minutes," you concede.

His hands flatten out against your back, holding you more snugly against him. He could stay like this forever. Just your warmth against him, the scent of you in his nose, the sound of your steady breaths in his ear.

But you say five more minutes. And so he counts down from ten in his head. Ten, nine, eight…

Jun pulls back after the countdown and steals a long, deep kiss from your lips.

This was what it felt like to be alive. The way his blood pumped faster, his heart thumped harder. The way that your very presence made everything else seem dull in comparison.

The feeling only intensifies when you move closer. When you arch against him in that way you know he loves. When your fingers run through his hair.

Jun is all but breathless. He pulls away after long enough, leaning his forehead against yours. "I'm a terrible influence on you," he pants against your lips.

Your hand slides down to his face, your thumb ghosting over his mouth. "You got some on you," you grumble, and it takes him a moment to realize that you're fretting over lip gloss.

"Leave it," he says. "I like smelling like perfume and looking like I got kissed."

You shoot him a glare. He gives you cheeky grin.

When the two of you part, Jun is relegated to watch you from his table. You're radiant up on stage, perfectly composed and charming. You have stellar manufactured chemistry with your more recent co-star, and some of the boys decide to tease Jun about it.

"Looks like you've gotten replaced, Junpi," Jeonghan sing-songs.

Soonyoung nudges Jun in the side. "Jealous that you've lost your favorite co-star to Kim Soohyun?"

Jun barely stops himself from bursting into laughter. Replaced? Co-star? His members don't know the half of it. Jun absentmindedly runs a thumb over his bottom lip, where traces of you still linger.

"What? Me, jealous?" He breaks out into an innocent smile. "Never."

୨ৎ * GAME, SET, PLAY ! ( JEALOUSY ) DRABBLE GAME.

[kjupchurch-xx]

Intoxicated

March 16th, 2009

Today was my 21st birthday. My friend had set me up on a blind date with an actor, but didn't tell me who. She figured this would be the perfect scenario considering the hell I'd went through last Summer with a guy that was probably the biggest piece of shit on the planet. I haven't dated or been intimate with anyone since then, nor did I really have any interest in being. 

I looked over at her, "What is this guy even like?" I asked, finishing up curling my hair. 

She smiled, "He's tall, he's nice, he's super sexy and he's not American, if that gives you any hints." 

I shrugged as I sat my curling iron down, starting to put my eyeliner on, "It doesn't. But I mean, is this even someone I'd be remotely interested in?" I asked her, giving her a questioning look. 

She chuckled, "I'm positive you'll be thanking me by the end of the night." 

I rolled my eyes, "So he's an actor?" 

She nodded, bringing me a pair of ripped bell bottom jeans, "Yes. A very talented actor." 

I quickly changed into the jeans, "Is he anyone I know?" 

She walked to my living room, grabbing my keys to bring me, "Ummm... He's in that movie we watched when we were teenagers. I think it's called Swordfish or something like that." 

I gave her a questioning look, "Did you set me up with John Travolta?" 

She covered her mouth laughing, "You'll just have to wait and see. I'm not telling you anything!" 

She probably set me up with one of the extras, someone I most likely wouldn't even remember ever being in the movie. She knows I hate surprises, but I appreciate her for trying, even though the last blind date she set me up on was a complete and total dud. 

She clapped her hands at me, "Go! You were supposed to leave 5 minutes ago! He's going to meet you at RH Rooftop." She yelled. 

I grabbed my phone, made sure I had my keys and looked at her before heading out the door to our apartment, "I swear, if this is another dud, I'm going to kill you." 

She rolled her eyes, "I promise, it's not a dud. Just go." 

I rolled my eyes, closing the door behind me as I made my way down the hall, towards the elevator, then to my car in the parking garage. While making the drive to the restaurant, I'll tell you a bit about myself... I'm a Southern Belle, originally from South Carolina. I moved to NYC after obtaining a degree in journalism. I didn't have many opportunities in my small town, so I decided to move to a bigger city in hopes of pursuing a career as a reporter. I've been serving as an intern for a local publishing company, which has gone well for the most part. 

Callie and I are roommates. She also moved here for journalism, but moved here from Arizona. We met while working part-time at a coffee cafe and became roommates since the cost of living in NYC is astronomically high. She took a different career path, as a model which caused her to meet many different celebrities.She'd tried getting me into modeling with her, but it wasn't my thing. We shared a dog, Harley, who was a beautiful French Bulldog, that was treated as if he were our love child. 

As I arrived and finally found parking for RH Rooftop, I realized I was 10 minutes late. I quickly turned my car off and sprinted towards the entrance. I don't even know who I'm looking for or how to spot this dude. I approached the hostess stand, looking nervous as I skimmed the crowd of dinners wondering who Callie had set me up with. 

The hostess noticed me, "May I help you with something?" She asked kindly. 

I nodded, "Ummm... I"m here with a guy, but I'm unsure of where he's sitting. He's not American and is very tall. He's also an actor." I stammered, knowing I must sound insane. 

She giggled, "Can you tell me his name?" 

I pursed my lips, "Not really. I'm on a blind date, so I have no idea what his name is...or who he is." I chuckled nervously, scratching the back of my neck. 

She smiled, "Okay, I think I know who you're referring to. He told us he was expecting a blind date. Follow me." She said, grabbing a menu and leading me to the rooftop entrance. 

I followed behind, still curious as to who this would be. I'd probably shit a brick if it were John Travolta, but I'm pretty sure he's off the market. There was that computer hacker dude that was pretty hot too. As we reached the rooftop tables, she led me to a dark haired man that had his back towards the entrance. I couldn't make out who he was just yet and considering that was an older movie, I doubt I'd recognize him from the movie from the back. 

He stood as he heard us approach and pulled my chair out, turning to face me, "You must be my date." He said with a smile, extending his hand to shake mine, "I'm Hugh." He said casually. 

It was the computer hacker dude, and shit, did he look good. Even 8 years later, he still looked good. 

I smiled, shaking his hand, "I am, I'm Kaitlyn." I said as I took my seat. He gave me another smile before going back to his seat across from me. 

"How're you doing, love?" He asks, smiling at me, keeping his elbows off the table. Hm, a real gentleman. 

I chuckled at his flattery, already calling me a pet name. "I'm doing good, everything's going great for me at the moment. How's things going for you?" 

He shifted, "I just wrapped up filming an origin movie for a character I've played for the last 9 years, I'm finally on a much needed break and no longer on a strict regime for my character, which I'm fully intending on breaking tonight with a milkshake." 

I giggled, "I see." I said as the waiter approached us. He was a young man who was obviously infatuated with my date. 

"Holy s-, I mean, I'm so sorry-" He stammered as Hugh began cracking up, "It's quite alright, mate." He said to the young man. 

The man smiled, "Mr. Jackman, I'm sorry. Wolverine is my all-time favorite X-Men character." Hugh smiled, "Can I please get a picture with you? I swear I'll keep it professional after." He asked.

Hugh laughed, "Sure thing, mate. I'm sorry, love, but do you mind helping our waiter out with a picture?" He asked, almost embarrassingly. 

I chuckled, "I don't mind." The waiter smiled, handing me his cell phone as Hugh got up to stand beside him, making a Wolverine pose as if he had retractable claws. 

He pat the man on the back and sat back across from me, "Thank you so much, Mr. Jackman. And thank you for taking the picture. My name is William. What can I start you guys off with to drink?" He asked. 

Hugh and I looked at each other, "I think I'll take a martini." I said, flipping through the bar menu. "No problem, William. I'll take a martini, and also, a chocolate milkshake. Large, William." 

I giggled at his serious tone making sure William understood Hugh wanted a large. "Coming right up, are there any appetizers you guys want to start with?" William asked before walking off as we both shook our heads. 

Hugh looked up at me, damn was he sexy, "So, tell me about you." He said, smirking. 

I pursed my lips wondering what to tell, "Hmm, let's see... I have a Frenchie, his name is Harley. I'm an intern for a local business. I have a degree in journalism. I moved here from South Carolina after graduating college for a better chance of a career in journalism." 

He nodded, taking my words in, "I've always wanted a French Bulldog. I also have a degree in journalism. I moved here from Australia many years ago, but I moved for X-Men." He said, forcing his accent deeper as he mentioned being from Australia. 

I chuckled, "You do have a very sexy accent. I actually didn't know you weren't American because your American accent is so convincing." 

He smirked, "I happen to think your accent is sexy too." He said flirtatiously, making me blush.

I laughed, "I literally sound like cornbread, stop." 

He laughed, "You do not. Even if you did, cornbread tastes good." 

Our waiter returned with our drinks and Hugh's large milkshake, and proceeded to take our order. I reached for the menus, but Hugh swiped them from me, handing them to our server. 

He winked at me, "Gotta be quicker than that, beautiful." 

I playfully rolled my eyes, "Tell me more about you." I said, resting my chin on my hands, giving him my undivided attention. 

He smiled, "What do you wanna know?" He asked flirtatiously. 

I shrugged, "Everything." 

He chuckled, "For starters, I have two children, Ava and Oscar. They are 4 and 9. I play cricket. I enjoy singing. Every year, I go back to Australia and do the polar plunge. I'm recently divorced. Anything else you want to know?" 

I smirked, "Have you been with anyone since the divorce?" 

He looked at, surprised at my question, but smiled, "No, no I haven't. I haven't been with anyone besides her since 1995." 

I bit my lip, raising my brow with a giggle, "So you're not a douche bag then, noted."

He smiled sweetly, "No, I'm not a douche bag." He said softly. 

I shifted in my seat, taking a sip from my martini, "What are you hoping to come from this?"  

He shrugged, "I really don't know, love. I have no expectations, whatever happens, happens. What about you?" He asks, his eyes burning through me, almost with a lust. 

I smirked, "I kind of go with the flow. Whatever happens, happens." 

He bit his lip, "I like that." 

As the night went on, we ate our food and drank a few martinis. Both of us, feeling a little tipsy and beginning to ask risque questions as he moved his chair to my side of the table, now beside me. 

"So tell me, what are some of your turn-ons?" I asked with a smirk, sipping my 3rd martini.

His one hand moved to my thigh under the table, "Does it count if I say you?" He smirked, looking me in the eyes. 

I bit my lip, "Do you want to um...get out of here?" I asked him quietly. 

He grabbed my hand, "C'mon, love." and began leading me towards the entrance of the rooftop bar to head back downstairs and to the sidewalk. "Let's go to my car." He said, leading me to an SUV.

As we got to the car, he rushed towards the backseat, opening the door, motioning for me to climb in. I climbed in, sliding to the other end as he quickly slid in beside me, shutting the door and pulling me onto his lap, slamming his lips against mine as he roughly gripped my hips.  I felt him begin pushing his hips upwards, grinding into me as I reached behind us, positioning myself upwards, tugging at his belt. 

"Take this off..." I muttered against his lips as he bit my bottom lip, I pulled away and slid my top off as he helped me, tossing it into the seat beside us, leaving me in my bra and jeans. I slid off of him to remove my jeans and underwear as he undid his belt and jeans, his hard dick exposed. 

"Come here." He said, almost demanding, as he grabbed my arm, bringing my lips back to his as I straddled his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck as I lowered myself down onto him, taking every inch. 

He moaned against my lips, "Fuck, you're tight." He said lowly as he sucked on my bottom lip, nibbling at it. 

I began bouncing up and down, roughly, my moans filling the car. I felt him reach up and grab my breasts, that were covered by my bra, squeezing them. "Shit, your cock feels so good inside me." I cried out. 

He pushed my bra down, exposing my breasts as he popped one of my nipples into my mouth, nibbling at it and sucking as he started thrusting his hips up to meet mine. "Oh fuck!" I yelled as he moved his hands to my hips and started thrusting hard into me. 

"We gotta be quick, we're in a parking lot." He chuckled as he began moaning again. 

I could feel my orgasm coming, I grabbed his chin, forcing his face back to mine, crashing my lips onto his. "Cum for me, baby." He said huskily, moving his lips down to my neck, sucking and biting softly. 

I felt my eyes practically roll back into my head as I let myself go, my juices flowing down his throbbing cock as he spilled his load inside me. 

"Second date?" He asked, out of breath, laughing. 

I nodded, catching my breath, "Definitely."  

[sleepyhoon]

☆ work in progress

a sneak peak at some of my upcoming work! plots, characters/pairing, word count, and other details are all subject to change as the fics progress. join my taglist here!

last updated :: 12 - 06 - 24

☆ lee heeseung

i feel god in this kbbq tonight.

pairing. heeseung x fem reader genre. coworkers au (based off of jim and pam from The Office), coworkers to lovers, angst, fluff, humor, smut. content. office setting, one-sided to mutual pining, somewhat slowburn + more. ft. choi soobin of txt word count. est 30k+ || current w.c. is 2k+ status. drafting

untitled dilf fic

pairing. dilf!hee x fem reader genre. neighbors au, age gap (22 & 28), fluff, smut. content. perfect dad heeseung, fluff from beginning to end basically word count. est 25k+ status. brainstorming

growing pains.

pairing. actor/producer!hee x fem reader genre. strangers to fwb to lovers, angst, smut. content. miscommunication trope. word count. est 30k+ current w.c. is 2.8k+ but i might start over from scratch status. brainstorming + drafting

☆ park jongseong

behind closed doors.

pairing. jay x fem reader genre. established relationship, college au, home for the holidays au content. jay meeting your family over winter break, perfect bf jay, JAY WITH AN EYEBROW PIERCING, very fluffy and very smutty. long smut scene. so long im probably gonna write it first just to get it out the way. word count. est 15-20k+ || current w.c. is 1k+ status. drafting

venice bitch.

pairing. boss!jay x employee!reader genre. mini spinoff of bang bang, kiss kiss. showing off some more of their secret escapades. content. business trip au, smut. that's it *shrugs* word count. est 4k+ status. brainstorming

☆ sim jaeyun

untitled mini stepbro drabble

pairing. stepbro!jake x reader genre. *shrugs* content. smut, perv jake word count. est > 5k || current w.c. is 1.6k+ status. drafting. on the verge of being deleted idk we shall see

promise i'll be kind.

pairing. fan!jake x idol!reader genre. fans meets idol au, smut, humor. content. jake is lowkey a crazy fan (breaks into reader's tour bus (he has good intentions)), reader holds him hostage for a little bit, knife play. word count. est 8k+ || current w.c. is 2k+ status. drafting

a heart that's pure.

pairing. church boy!jake x witch!reader genre. neighbors, general themes of magic, themes of death, smut, humor content. virgin!jake, reader desperately trying to seduce him to save his life, reader has an eveil witch of a grandmother (no kidding), loss of virginity word count. est 30k+ status. drafting

☆ park sunghoon

six weeks and two days.

pairing. sunghoon x reader (ft. heeseung) genre. part 2 of three weeks and three days content. smut, angst, love triangle ... ending tbd word count. est 25k+ status. brainstorming

☆ multi-member

2k followers surprise gift

pairing. * x reader x * genre. love triangle (-ish), implied best friends to lovers content. smut, * and * are pervs, sextapes. just nasty. w.c. est 15k+ || current w.c is 400+ lol... status. drafting

[therantingsage]

New thought. For the fic/au idea. The party isn't...there, in their bodies, obviously. That part I established. But despite the light being missing from their eyes, as far as Siffrin can tell, they're behaving entirely normally.

This, of course, freaks out everyone involved. Mirabelle hates looking at herself from an outside perspective. Every time Bonnie sees their body they just shout "THAT'S NOT ME, TELL THEM TO STOP BEING ME THEY'RE NOT ME" because the intricacies of the situation are a bit beyond them. Etc etc no one is happy about this.

But they seem to be behaving entirely normally. To the rest of Dormont, but to Siffrin too, because Siffrin is intimately familiar with the script at this point. And they're following it perfectly.

One of the voices in their head, probably Odile, poses a question for one of the bodies. Siffrin sends it through, to the wooden actor, and-

Something shifts in the body's expression. Posture not what it was before. They're smiling. They're smiling wrong. Their eyes gain a shine they hadn't before. The eyes are wrong something is wrong why are they looking at him like that-

that's not your family

it's not

it's not

IT'S NOT-

And they loop back, heart racing, and return to the script. The actors act exactly as they're meant to.

........Siffrin hadn't gotten Memory of Change God before their family's minds all jumped ship. Siffrin has no idea what's going on. They've got no idea who's puppeting around the bodies. And without the context, they live in constant fear of whatever mask this is slipping and the stranger coming into the light. They can pretend everything's normal until they ask a question they wouldn't normally. And the actor's smile. Voices wrong, all the wrong cadence, they speak of change. The melting pot of ideas before them is unprecedented. Don't worry, Siffrin nomiddlenames nolastname! I can help with your script! It's the least I can do! I'll improv when they don't have lines to give! You're welcome! <(˘ ˘ ˘)>

[nonsscrapheap]

TFP: Universal Observations

AND THUS WE RETURN! you are not ready for this reaction, i wasn't. kind of, this premise has been on my mind for a while.

i'll be adding in the word count now! 4.1k words!

time for the revelations of the very vague polls! or at least one of them!

Optimus and Megatron Working Together (Wholesome) is... Actor Au.

WARNING! LONG POST!

ACT 1: Show Acting - I -

[ ----- TP : UO ----- ]

[ ENTER KEYWORD TO START UNIVERSAL OBSERVATION ]

Omega Outpost One

"Key word?" Ratchet hears Rafael murmur as he and the humans gathered together by Optimus' side.

The Prime still looked downcast, the look of horror on the mech's faceplate was something Ratchet never wanted to see ever again. He'd seen it before of course, each time was just as terrible as the last but there was just something even worse, knowing why Optimus had looked so horrified in the first place.

It wasn't everyday that you watched another version of yourself perform a horrible act that had taken a friend from you. That Optimus Prime, Evil Optimus Prime, was no Prime that Ratchet would ever have followed and Optimus needed to get it in his helm that despite looking similar to the mech on the screen aside from the obvious differentials, Optimus himself would never enforce Empurata on anybot. Not even the Decepticons. 

Then again, Ratchet could sympathize with Optimus' feelings on the matter. Although his own counterpart hadn't exactly done anything on screen aside from attacking Other Knock Out, the implications of his words and actions alone… It disturbed him to no end. 

The knowledge that in another world, an alternate version of oneself could be so different from you… It's a lot to take in. 

Another thing that was a lot to take in, was the existence and the function of the sphere. 

As far as Ratchet has come to realize and gather from what's obviously been shown, the sphere was nothing more than an observation device. A very powerful one, capable of showing alternate worlds and cataloging them for repeated use. 

If the sphere fell on Decepticon servos, Ratchet feared just what the Decepticons would see and how it would work in their favor. So despite its mysterious appearance, it was a blessing to have it show up in their base, but Ratchet still needed to know just where it came from and how it got into their storage without any of them knowing. 

It couldn't have been the humans, Fowler already had a catalogue of their Cybertronian tech and items since he was their liaison. The children obviously couldn't have been the culprit, seeing as they had no idea what it was…

But they were connected to it now. They were in control of the sphere, not completely though. 

"Okay so, remember how Miko said something about shatter and glass? That's what triggered the whole thing in the first place! So we just um, need to say words and see if it triggers something else?" Rafael exclaimed with shaky confidence, unsure about his own suggestion but it was solid in theory.

"Uh, Monkey? Apocalypse? Music!" Miko shouted, trying Raf's idea. 

.: Cybertron. Iacon? Racing! :. Bumblebee bleeped in offering as well.

"Uh… if that's the case, then it would have already taken in anything that we were saying by now." Jack said with a frown, watching the younger boy give a look of thought. 

"Honestly, I don't know if we should keep messing with it." Arcee admitted, looking at the sphere with obvious distrust and lingering unease. "Sure, the only function we've seen so far is what, looking into alternate worlds where the Decepticons are good while we're…" She couldn't finish, glancing at the still silent Optimus who grimaced at the reminder. "We should probably just- put it back into storage." 

"Aww, c'mon Arcee!" Miko exclaimed, hands on her hips. "Sure, the first world we saw wasn't- wasn't that good but like- this is an opportunity to see alternate worlds! Who doesn't want to see stuff like that?!" 

"I'm actually with Miko a bit here Arcee, this is- it's pretty cool. The world it showed us wasn't that peachy but like. Wasn't it really weird to see the cons acting like the good guys?" Jack laughed a bit awkwardly, and he had a point. It had been really strange to see the Decepticons act like—

[ KEY WORDS ; SHOW ACTING ]

They all glanced over to the screen in shock as it accepted two random words from what Jack had been saying. "Just what is with its intuitive parameters?!" Ratchet growled out, unable to make sense as to how exactly the sphere was parsing through speech to gain the 'key words'- Bumblebee and Miko had been suggesting things off the bat but it was Jack that triggered its function this time?! 

("It seems the Autobots have finally chosen something." Starscream muttered in disdain, eyeing the key words and wondering just what was going to be shown this time. Megatron said nothing, his optics narrowed and frame tense.)

[ The screen flared before catchy music played, the words 'TERRAN-TRON LIVE' plastering itself over the screen and then disappearing. A large femme was sitting on a couch with a human woman sitting beside them on a platform built onto the couch. "Good evening everyone! Welcome back to Terran-Tron Live! Your late night show interviewing celebrity guests and more. I'm Polly." The human exclaimed, wearing a suit and waving at the camera.

The femme smiled with her, waving as well. "And I'm Caster, and we're here tonight with some very special guests!" ]

All optics and eyes blinked at the sudden showing of two people, a Cybertronian femme and a human woman, that they knew nothing about. "What in the…" Bulkhead trailed off, confused as to why they were watching what seemed to be a late night talk show.

"A human and a Cybertronian? On television? Live?" Ratchet muttered, the implications of that was... Pretty positive, actually.

Optimus, though still a bit downtrodden, couldn't help but perk slightly and look at the screen with intrigued optics. 

Miko was practically jumping in place with excitement, "Oh! Since this is a talk show with both Cybertronians and humans then humanity must like, know about you guys now! You're famous heroes!" 

.: I guess? I don't think I'd like to be on tv though. :. Bumblebee said nervously, a bit self-conscious over his voice box. Millions of people, humans and maybe Cybertronians listening to him beeping? Half the audience wouldn't know what he was saying! He huffed when Raf patted his helm in comfort, the little human giving him reassurances that he appreciated.

("What exactly is this?" Megatron deadpanned, unimpressed by the showing so far. 'Terran-Tron Live', a cybertronian and a human working together like this? Reminds him far too much of the Autobots, not to mention the fact they were working with humans of all species…)

[ "Humans and Cybertronians, give it up for- the cast of Transformers: Prime!" Polly exclaimed, gesturing to somewhere and the screen changes to show four bots on a large couch. Two mechs and two femmes, on another platform close to the couch, there were three humans sitting on a smaller couch like Polly. All of them waved at the camera and audience, smiling. ]

Jaws were dropped at the sight of Optimus, Megatron, Arcee and Arachnid sitting on one gigantic, Cybertronian-sized couch while nearby, Jack, Miko and Raf sat on a smaller couch on screen. 

( "WHAT?!" )

Optimus' backstruts straightened at the sight of him and Megatron on screen, sitting close together in such an amicable setting- things were obviously different though. For one, Other Optimus looked more like Orion Pax instead of Optimus Prime. His frame was more civilian-like, but a bit bulkier than the data clerk had been and his colors were red and violet with silver instead of his own colors. Other Optimus was sitting back against the couch with his legs spread slightly, arm hanging on the back of the couch and had an amused smirk on his faceplate. He seemed so young compared to Optimus.

Other Megatron was so much more different, gone were the spikes that were the kibble for the warlord. Instead, standard kibble with a shinier silver plating. Gone were the scars and scuffs that Megatron wore with ease, and his optics weren't red nor were they blue. They were a honey-like gold instead, pairing well with the polite smile on the mech's derma. He too, seemed so much younger than he or even Megatron, his frame less bulky as well- not warforged, that much was obvious but still slightly bigger than Other Optimus. 

Other Arcee looked the most similar, but the sharp edges of her frame and armor were softened and instead of a mostly blue finish, there were sections of magenta and pink that decorated her plating.

Other Arachnid didn't look nearly as menacing as the Aracnhid they knew of, but nor did she look as gentle as the 'Shattered Glass' Arachnid they just saw. Her edges were softer, her extra legs were nowhere to be seen and the sheer fact she was just sitting there besides Arcee? Absolutely mindboggling. 

The children looked quite different as well! Jack's hair was a bit longer, and he was dressed in a more formal suit. Raf's usually untamable locks were brushed down, also in a formal suit, and Miko— they had all gotten so used to the girl's wildness, to Miko's signature pink-coloring on her head that seeing her hair curled and completely black actually made most of them do a double-take. Especially since Other Miko was dressed in a dress-suit combo in soft colors. 

[ "Go on guys, introduce yourselves to the lovely audience!" Caster encouraged, and the camera's changed focus accordingly. 

"Hey there everyone, I'm Orion Nox, I play Optimus Prime, Leader of the Autobots in Transformers: Prime." Orion said with a salute and a grin aimed at the camera. 

"Hello, I am Dion, I play Lord Megatron, Leader of the Decepticons in Transformers: Prime." Dion greeted with a smiling nod. 

"Hi there, I'm Cycla, I play Arcee, warrior-scout of the Autobots." Cycla winked at the camera with her arms crossed as she leaned back against the couch. 

"I am Venami, I play Arachnid, spider-bot Decepticon defector at your service." Venami said with a slight nod, chuckling when Dion playfully called out 'Traitor!' to her. 

"Hi! I'm Rumi Atsuhashi, I play Miko Nakadai, Bulkhead's human charge." Rumi said, waving excitedly at the camera.

"Antonio Garcias, I play Rafael Esquivel, Bumblebee's human charge!" Antonio chirped , seeming to be just as, if not MORE excited than Rumi. 

"I'm Jackson Darby, I play Jack Darby, Arcee's human charge. Yes that's my real name, no I didn't get it changed at any point of my life. I have always been, Jackson Darby. The only difference between me and Jack Darby is that I prefer to go by Jackson instead of Jack." Jackson said with a crooked smile, exasperated but amused, laughter was heard from his cast members, the hosts and and the audience. 

With each introduction, there was a brief clip from the show that showed them acting in Transformers: Prime as their respective characters. ]

"OUR LIFE IS A TV SHOW?!" Miko screamed loud and clear, eyes bugged out of her head as she saw herself- or well, her actor?? On screen? "OH MY GOD!" 

"I-I need to sit down." Arcee said, feeling more than a bit nauseous- not by the whole 'in another world our life is a tv show' thing though it was part of it, but by the sight of her and Arachnid- doppelganger actors be damned - just… sitting there. On the couch, not trying to maul each other to death. 

Even weirder; Optimus and Megatron were sitting on the same couch, looking much younger and different, very different in Megatron's case. Or, Dion? What the frag even is this world. 

The fact there were clips, clips of moments that had happened that showed besides each one… 

( Arachnid had no words, she simply left. Or tried to, but Soundwave wouldn't let her leave. All the other Decepticons, even Megatron, were trying to process what they were seeing. However, the warlord did give Arachnid a glare, remembering how her counterpart introduced herself. She grimaced, but said nothing. )

[ "Unfortunately we could only invite a few cast members here, some had conflicting schedules or other things to do and we only had a limited amount of room on set. Even with mass displacement, we'd get a crowd here going." Caster explained to the audience and onlookers, she turned to look at the actors. "Thank you once again for joining us here, it's a pleasure to meet you and an honor to have you guys on the show!" 

"Thank you for having us Caster, it's a pleasure to be here." Dion replied with a respectful nod.

"I've always wanted to be on a late night talk show- especially Terran-Tron Live! You guys are the best human-cybertronian night show hosts out there!" Antonio gushed, practically bouncing in place. 

Polly laughed, winking at Antonio, "The very first in fact, well, not really me but my ma. Bless her soul. She established the show almost forty years ago after the Cybertronian and Earth alliance. My ma wanted to host a show with a cybertronian the moment it was possible."

"And here I enter the scene." Caster preened, servos framing her faceplate before she waved her servo. "But enough about that, let's talk about you! And YOUR show- Transformers: Prime!" 

A picture was shown on a floating screen, of Optimus and Megatron posed for battle with several other bots in the background. Transformers: Prime was in blocky text above. "It's you!" 

"It's us." Both Orion and Dion chorused with amusement, glancing at each other. "Look, you can even see Cycla and Venami in the background." Orion called out, pointing to where Arcee and Arachnid were in the picture. 

Cycla laughed and pointed as well, "And if you squint really hard, you can even see the kids hiding behind that boulder in the corner." The picture zooms in to see Raf, Miko and Jack hiding behind a boulder with Jack holding Miko back from leaving the boulder. 

Antonio giggled wildly while Rumi and Jackson grinned. ]

Despite the boggling situation, a few of the team and even the humans couldn't help but snort at the sight of the bit with the humans- it was so like Miko to try and leave the boulder, and of course Jack was holding her back. 

Optimus in the meanwhile, couldn't get his optics off of Megatron and himself on the screen. Or rather, Orion and Dion. They looked so at ease with each other, sitting side-by-side with no care in the world aside from being interviewed. 

Seeing the Other Megatron had been surreal enough, that mech reminded him too much of the old Megatronus that Optimus still secretly craved to see once more. But this? This made his spark ache as it reminded him of the good times Orion Pax and Megatronus had together as close friends. Yes their frames were different, their names and even their mannerisms but the fact they 'played' Optimus and Megatron and looked incredibly liked them…

Not every world has us as enemies, old friend. Optimus thinks to himself in private, feeling incredibly emotional for reasons he cannot, would not, explain. A sense of aching relief yet bitter longing and resignation settled in his frame that he kept to himself. Struggled to keep from showing on his faceplate.

No one but Ratchet would be able to spot it, and luckily for the Prime, his medic was preoccupied with gawking at the screen.

( On a warship miles away, a warlord is assaulted with unwanted memories at the sight of Orion Nox. His thought process similar yet different, tinged with anger and contempt that hid the nostalgia and other emotions that he deemed unimportant and frivolous. )

[ "Question for the bots here- we've got two of the most infamous rivals in the show sitting right here. And both pairs have had histories in working together, tell me, is there an actual rivalry here in real life, like in the show?" Polly asked, peering at the Cybertronians sitting on the gigantic couch.

Orion laughed, "Not really, at least for Dion and I- we've worked together before in other projects and sure we've been casted as rivals as some but honestly we're pretty chill." He glanced over to Cycla and Venami, "Now Cycla and Venami on the other hand—" 

Cycla reached over Dion to smack Orion's knee, only to gasp in betrayal when Dion spoke up with an amused expression. "Oh there's definitely a rivalry going on between them. Not as bad as in the show but, they've been competing against each other for roles in other projects. I distinctly recall Venami being quite peeved when Cycla was chosen instead of her for one project." 

"Dion!" Venami exclaimed with annoyance, glaring at the silver mech who burst out laughing alongside Orion. ]

Was it incredibly petty to feel pleased that another version of herself, even as a bizarre actor in a bizarre world, managed to one-up the alternate version of the Con that killed one of her old partners? Probably, yet it didn't stop Arcee at all from feeling just the tiniest bit smug. She couldn't help it.

Just like how Optimus couldn't help but feel warm at how close Orion Nox was with Dion, and at the fact they've worked together before. Or at the fact, while still rivals, 'Cycla' and 'Venami' weren't fighting each other as Autobot and Decepticon. It seemed like neither faction existed aside from within the show. 

( A spider bot while not really impressed, couldn't help but be annoyed at her counterpart's failure of gaining whatever role it was that the other femme managed to get. A warlord stews in unsettling silence. )

[ "Question for the kids! How's it feel to work alongside your Cybertronian co-actors? Must be pretty exciting huh? Are you as close to them as you are in the show?" Caster asked, leaning forward to address the small beings who beamed at her and the camera. 

"It's been great!" Antonio gushed, "They've been so kind to Jackson, Rumi and I and the other humans on set too! They're really careful in making sure we're okay." 

Rumi nodded in agreement, smiling happily, "I'll admit, I was nervous at first since this is the first time I've um, I've worked with Cybertronians who are really, really big most of the time but it's been fun! I'd like to say we're as close to the bots on set as we are in the show?" She gave the metal giants a shy smile and they all grinned back at her with affirming nods. 

"Not just the 'Autobots' either, the 'Decepticons' are pretty great too." Jackson laughed, "My favorite Con is Pulsebeat, aka Soundwave in the show- they and their cassette Glider, aka Laserbeak, like to pick us up and hoard us sometimes because I think we remind them of minicons and cassettes. It's really funny." 

Dion laughed, "And here I thought I was your favorite Con Jackson!" He said playfully while pressing a servo against his chestplate in faux offense. 

Jackson looked back at him, "You thought wrong! I mean- just look at them!" Jackson gestured to the screen as it suddenly showed Soundwave, or Pulsebeat? Without their visor on, grinning widely as they cradled a laughing Jackson, a giggling Rumi in his servos while Antonio beaming as he hung upside down from a cable claw. Their bird-cassette was perched atop Pulsebeat's helm. Another picture showed Pulsebeat mass displaced, but still big enough to carry all three children on his frame while they all sat on Glider who was in the air. ]

.: I don't think I will ever get used to 'nice' cons. :. Bee beeped, both somewhat awed yet perturbed at the sight of the relaxed and joking 'Megatron' and the pictures of 'Soundwave' playing with the human kids. Not to mention the sight of Soundwave's face- or rather, Pulsebeat? It looked extremely similar to the 'Shattered Glass' faceplate that Soundwave had but at least… at least this time, it was happy and not… The yellow muscle car bot shuddered, shaking his helm and focusing back on the screen.

"You and me both, Bee." Bulkhead muttered in agreement, optics squinting. "And I don't think I'll get used to shy Miko." He added in with some mirth, it was bizarre to see the girl smiling shyly at the bots (two of which were Cons but they kind of weren't because they were actors??) and not being as energetic as his charge.

"I know right?! Still, she must have some Wrecker in her to play me!" Miko exclaimed, looking up at Rumi with determined and curious eyes. 

Raf looked over to Jack, still on Bee's shoulder. "Soundwave? Really?" There wasn't any judgement, just genuine curiosity.

Jack still felt the need to throw his hands into the air, "Don't ask me! Apparently other me likes Soundwave! Pulsebeat? This is just- too weird." Not to mention the casual banter that other Megatron, or uh, Dion? Had with Jackson. Jackson who was him, who still had his name but went by Jackson instead of Jack. 

How come Raf and Miko had other names while Jack was still just, Jackson Darby? Unbelievable.

( An ex-gladiator and now communications officer stayed silent, as always, but there was a relaxed air around him now. The warlord notices, does not comment, just stares at the screen with growing displeasure. )

[ "Question for everyone! Was the season one finale surprising to find out, film, just- anything? I understand that Transformers: Prime was an original scripted show without being based on anything aside from the old Autobot-Decepticon civil war on Cybertron eons ago but fictitiously set on Earth." Polly questioned, leaning in with interest as the bots and humans glanced at each other.

"Oh definitely! The show's original writer, Rung, a great guy, surprised us halfway through the season's filming to reveal to us all dramatically of what the season's ending was and I just- I couldn't believe it." Orion said, actually sitting up straight as his co-actors nodded in agreement. 

Cycla snickered, "Yeah! We're all just sitting there, reading the script, baffled with how our show's first season ends. Which really shouldn't have been THAT much of a surprise I guess? When you start off the season killing off Cliffjumper- Revmaul, Cliff's actor, would NOT stop sending me jokes about his character's death by the way so screw you Rev, stop that - and THEN revive him as a zombie bot—"

"Terrorcon." Venami interrupted, Cycla rolled her optics but continued.

"Terrorcon, and then the Dark Energon kind of persists throughout the season… Naturally I guess, it all leads to the natural conclusion?" ]

"Season finale?" Ratchet murmured, optics hardening as he immediately realized the implications of what was going to happen. If 'Transformers: Prime' was a show about their current life then… "Optimus." He said sharply, gaining the attention of the Prime who seemed to realize the exact same thing. 

"I know, old friend. Autobots, pay attention. We may be learning important information pertaining to our future." Optimus instructed with a hard look on his faceplate, his frame tense as he readied himself as to whatever was going to be revealed. A part of him was slightly interested at the fact that apparently in that world, while the Autobots and Decepticon war had existed, it had obviously ended long ago. Long before Cybertron made contact with Earth, long enough that someone, this Rung person- a Cybertronian perhaps? Had made a fictitious retelling of it, was interesting…

The fact that retelling was apparently all about their lives on Earth was encroaching somewhat dangerous yet hopefully helpful territory. 

His Autobot team tensed, and even the humans watched closely with somewhat anxious eyes. Especially when Cycla mentioned Cliffjumper, Arcee hissed between gritted denta, feeling conflicted at the grief as well as unwanted jealousy and unfairness at the fact that Cliffjumper over there was alive. An actor who's character had died. But for Arcee, Cliffjumper was truly gone… His corpse, desecrated and turned into a monster… 

Her servos curled into fists, clenching tightly.

There was a sense of tension in the air.

( The same could be said for the Decepticons on The Nemesis. The warlord quirking a ridged brow in obvious interest. )

Just what was the natural conclusion?

[ "The natural conclusion of Unicron, The Unmaker, Cybertron's version of Satan- being Earth itself. Or at least the core." Caster finished with a slight laugh, sounding somewhat but only a little bit hysterical. 

"Cybertron's Satan is the Earth's core, yeah." Jackson nodded with his fellow humans, "No one was expecting that." ]

No one was expecting that indeed.

Chaos came to the Cybertronians of both Omega Outpost One and The Nemesis.

[ ----- TP : UO -----]

WAHAHAHAHA i spoil tfp season 1 to early tfp season 1. what a way to go. hehehehe, i wonder how that'll all go- but at any rate! i hope you guys enjoyed!

brief ocs of Caster, femme show host along with her human co-host polly! fun fact; polly is the daughter of Caster's original co-host who started Terran-Tron Live!

the actor's names were somewhat random- orion nox and dion are a nod to another fic of mine, called Twice The Primes where there are two sets of Optimus and Megatron, kind of. The other set of Optimus and Megatron, O-14 and D-16 were recently, officially redesignated as Orion Nox and Dion, so i decided to do the same here for the actor au.

cycla is just, motorcycle, i couldnt think of anything else for arcee. venami, just- venom, spider's venom but anami.

pulsebeat and glider- on the spot alternative names for soundwave that wasnt just... soundblaster and something else- i wanted to give him another name for his actor.

rumi astuhashi and antonio garcias- just random names and i just thought itd be extremely funny if jack was still jack darby but he goes by jackson. it'll get funnier when it's revealed that orion nox has to play orion pax in season 2 XD like human like prime hm?? hahahahaha

and yes, rung is the show's writer ;)

but yeah, this is the Wholesome Optimus and Megatron working together choice of the poll! they get to be co-actors with all the kids :D

what's the Serious version? we'll get there eventually! whenever that's picked out anyway. i don't know how many segments i'm planning to do for the actor au, at least three??? but yeah, this is... this gonna fun

i hope you guys enjoyed!

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[dreamescapeswriting]

BTS Reaction || Your Father Is A Famous Actor

⤜Copyright: © DreamEscapesWriting - September 2023

⤜MASTERLIST

SEOKJIN:

Jin had been worried sick on the build-up to meeting your father, he'd been overthinking everything wondering if your father - Skeet Ulrich - was even going to like him. What if he didn't like him and stopped you from seeing one another?

"It's so nice to finally meet you, Yn talks about you all the time." Your dad said making you glare at him, but he simply hugged Jin tightly and chuckled.

"Can I get you a drink? We have some Soju in and I'm currently attempting to cook your favourite dish." Jin's mouth fell open a little as he followed your father to the kitchen, the two of them getting lost in conversation about food.

"I'm good! I don't need a drink!" You yelled out sarcastically, falling down onto the sofa and shaking your head at the two of them still talking to one another, not even noticing you weren't there. 

YOONGI:

"Hi! Can we get a photo?!" Someone called out making you jump a little, you glanced at the boy and his sister and smiled a little.

"I'll take it, you can both be in the photo with him then." You suggested before the two of them stared at you confused. Yoongi smirked a little as he noticed the boy wearing a superman shirt and his sister was even holding a collector edition of the "witcher" books which gave him hints that they weren't there to see him at all.

"Oh...We meant with you." The boy said as he smiled warmly at you, you frowned a little. 

"With me?" You questioned before looking at Yoongi who was taking their phone from their hands and getting the camera ready for them.

"You are Henry Cavil's daughter...Right?" You bit down on your lip before nodding and posing for an image with them, hugging the girl before they ran off back to their parents leaving you a little shocked.

"That's never happened to me before."

"It's cute," Yoongi chuckled kissing your hand as they two of you continued your trip inside of the shopping district.

HOSEOK:

"Hobi, come on. I'll show you my old room," You told your boyfriend as you took him on a tour of your old childhood home. The two of you had come home to visit your family and it was the first time he met your father and it was safe to say he was officially scared of him. Your dad had decided it was a good idea to show him the boot of the impala with all of the props from Supernatural and now your boyfriend was convinced your dad could probably get away with murder.

"I think we should stay down here. Just in case your father thinks something is going on."

"Hobi...You know he was kidding about before. Right?" You arched a brow at him but he still didn't look entirely convinced about it and you shook your head.

"Dad! You scared him!!" You yelled out, dropping your boyfriend's hand as you went to scold your father who was finding the whole thing hilarious.

"You better show him they're props!" You called out as Jensen made his way back to Hoseok, taking him back into the garage and showing that none of the items in the car could ever actually hurt someone.

NAMJOON:

In the weeks leading up to Namjoon meeting your family, you'd been so nervous that you could barely sleep but as soon as your boyfriend spoke to your boyfriend it was as though the two of them had been friends for years.

"I was wondering if I could ask you about some of the stunts you did in your last movie?" Namjoon questioned as your dad - Tom Cruise - smiled proudly and nodded, wrapping an arm around Namjoon's shoulder and taking him to his study.

"Food will be ready soon, don't stay in there too late." You called out to the two of them but your dad waved his hand at you and began to answer every question that Namjoon had ready for him. You'd had nothing to worry about when it came to them and you should have known since the two of them were very sociable people with everyone that they came into contact with.

JIMIN:

When Jimin first met your dad - George Clooney - he'd been so shy you were almost scared he'd never speak to the man on his own but you never would have seen the two of them becoming close friends. Now it was like the two of them were inseparable, you would always find them hanging out without you and even when there were family parties the two of them would go off together.

"I think I would have preferred them to hate each other," You told your mother as she let out a small laugh, handing you a glass of champagne and kissing the side of your head. You loved that they got along of course but there were times when you wanted your boyfriend to spend time with you at family gatherings instead of your father.

"It's good that they're so friendly. At least you know your father approves." She reminded you before you smiled warmly at her, watching your boyfriend and your father from a distance as they spoke in depth with one another.

TAEHYUNG:

You hadn't told Taehyung about your family because you'd wanted it to come out naturally but it appeared as though that was going to be damn near impossible. Since the two of you were both famous - or related to someone famous in your case - it was incredibly hard for you to get any alone time together which meant rumours of you both dating spread instantly.

"I don't understand it, how could they know? I was careful." Taehyung whimpered as he looked down at the magazines on your coffee table, your heart sinking as you bit down on your tongue a little.

"It wasn't you, it was me. We thought we got rid of my stalker but we were wrong," You sighed running your hand over your face while Taehyung looked at you even more confused than before. 

"Let me explain-"

"Yn, I already hired my lawyer they're going to find the source of the photos and we'll have them destroyed, and then we'll have them prosecuted." Your head shot over to the front door of your home to see your father - Ryan Reynolds standing there and he was pissed.

"Dad-"

"We'll get him this time and he'll pay for what he did," He told you sternly before a giant smile took over his face and he waved at Taehyung who was still a little starstruck.

"Taehyung, this is my dad. Dad...Taehyung." The two of them shook hands before getting to work on a game plan for your stalker and how to handle the media.

JUNGKOOK:

There had to be something wrong, your boyfriend's car was in your family's driveway and you practically sprinted into the house to see your father staring at your very scared-looking boyfriend. Jungkook looked as though he was seconds away from crying,

"Dad! You told me you'd leave him until I got back!" You yelled rushing over to your boyfriend and sitting beside him but as you went to take his hand Jungkook shook his head at you.

"I asked if he was using you to get closer to us for fame, have you even done a check on him?" You glared over at your father who was now standing with his hands on his hips,

"Yes. Dad. Because Jeon Jungkook from BTS is using us to get famous." You grumbled at your dad and stared at him, his mouth falling open a little as he realised his mistake.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Your dad asked a little softer, sitting in the armchair across from you and Jungkook as you gently rubbed your boyfriend's thigh.

"With all due respect, Sir, you didn't let me get a word out," Jungkook admitted before you glared at your dad.

"Please, call me Samual." He held out his hand for him to shake and the two of them reintroduced each other to one another.

Tagline: @chiisaiblog @rjsmochii @tinyoonsblog @sw33tnight @taestannie @cherrybubblesandvodka @acciocriativity @mitzwinchester @heyjiminnie @halesandy @jin-from-the-block @aerastus @namjooningelsewhere @psychosupernatural @lyoongx @royallyjjk @critssq @lenfilms @btsiguess-kpop @meowmeowisdaname @imafivestarkpopstan @laylasbunbunny @ratherbfangirling @backintomykpopphaseagain

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The Lady Whistledown Papers : 1x01 - A Diamond of the First Water (Part 1)

An Introduction

Dearest Gentle Reader... ;)

Well, okay, looks like there a good handful of you for this idea! Yay!

I did want to preface this with a couple of notes first, though if you want to skip to the show meta, head straight for the 'read more' below...

My intention with this project is to explore the individual stories as well as the romantic relationship between Penelope Featherington (who is my favorite character on the show) and Colin Bridgerton. So, I'll be looking at every episode of the entire show and kind of go through their character arcs with a fine tooth comb. The first two seasons I plan on batching scenes together while Season 3 might end up almost scene by scene because it is so rich and dense with story.

The whole point is that I enjoy meta and media analysis and breaking down stories and looking at stories from every angle possible. I am usually pretty positive, but that doesn't mean even my favorites are not exempt from a critical eye from time to time. And I'm not hesitant to explore character, story, and production flaws when discussing things. I do, however, try to remain respectful.

While this is primarily Pen and Colin focused, I'll probably still end up opinioning on other things I like as well (and do have respect for other characters and ships on the show).

The only book I've read is The Duke and I. I don't plan on doing any book to tv analysis, but I do hope to get through Romancing Mister Bridgerton before I get to Season 3 so I can point out Easter Eggs.

I'm also no historical scholar. So, probably won't be doing any kind of historical analysis either. Sorry.

I'm a multi-fandom blog, and have lots of projects I'm working on, so I plan on rotating through them. Plus, I have a full time job and family and friends, which means please be patient as I work on the project. It's a labor of love! But maybe a slower one. <3

Not here to discuss the actors', creators', crew, etc's personal lives. While I may put in a tiny BTS tidbit I've picked up, I have no intention or desire to talk about anything but the story.

I always enjoy talking with you guys about things, my meta is only one interpretation of what's going on, and I'm always open to discussions! However, I block or ignore any kind of wank, so please be civil. :)

Tag : the lady whistledown papers (in case you want to follow along or black list it away)

Okay, let's dig into some meta!!

Episode 1 : A Diamond of the First Water (Part 1)

So, it may be something that's easily forgotten or overlooked, but the very first thing we hear when we open the show is Lady Whistledown's voice -- which of course, is really Penelope. Since it's the delightful Julie Andrews doing the voice, it doesn't really feel like it's an 18yo girl's commentary about life in the rich part of London society in the early 1800s, but here we are. It's all done to build a bit of mystery around Lady Whistledown.

But what I think is more fascinating is the fact that the show opens -- not with the Bridgertons but the Featheringtons. They are our starting point. They are our dysfunctional family unit that we may closer resemble in our own lives that we get to peek in on before heading over to the esteemed, charming, and seemingly perfect Bridgertons.

The Bridgertons might be the protagonists of the show -- but Lady Whistledown and (by extension) Penelope Featherington is our framing device. She sets up the world, gives us the expository layout of the land and gives us an insight into the world. So it makes sense that we're starting in Penelope's home -- the person, like the audience, who gets to look into the Bridgerton home, but not actually be a part of it (yet).

When we open, we get a great introduction to the Featheringtons, and in a quick few shots - learn a lot about of them.

First of all, the narration -- while I'm not going to take note of every single narration throughout the whole show, it is important to remember that it's Penelope who is ultimately speaking. And when we open the show -- the first thing she does is blast her own family.

Why? Because it's her only way to push back. Look at what's happening in this scene? Prudence is being forced into the tightest corset ever imaginable as Penelope (and Phillipa) look on in horror. Penelope is still young (she is 18yo) and is being thrust into the market earlier than she wants so that her mother can have all of her daughters out in society at the same time.

Unlike what we'll find over at the Bridgerton family household, the Featheringtons are ruled by a seemingly iron fisted mother who only wants her daughters to marry rich so she can retain her lifestyle and place in society while her father is uninterested in anything other than himself.

Later in season 3, she'll mention that this particular issue is her first issue. So, it's no surprise that she starts writing just as she's coming into society. It's her way of coping and her way of expressing herself. But, I'll also remind everyone, while she is incredibly savvy at her craft, she's also still so young, and not entirely aware of the power she's going to wield.

As for Pen herself -- she's genuinely concerned about her older sister. We don't get a sense of their dynamic yet, but at least we get to see Penelope's kind hearted nature. Prudence looks like she's being down right tortured by her 'tasteless, tactless' mama. And nothing about this is appealing to Penelope.

(As an aside -- this also sets up a couple of things for the show -- for one, throwing us into the historical nature of the show, as well as adding a slight bit of comedy to the over-the-topness of Portia's insistence. The show is telling us that, yeah, there are crude and unpleasant things going on, but we're not taking ourselves too seriously, so neither should you.)

Next, we shift over to the Bridgerton household, but I want to point out something first... Notice how the Featherington door knocker from earlier was much more adorned and intricate? The Featheringtons are more concerned with status and money and appearing as if they're better off than they really are, while the Bridgertons don't need nor want to show off in the same way. It's a neat little detail.

Also, the bee imagery for the Bridgertons always is amusing. Symbol of death there ;) In case you were wondering - the Featherington symbol is the butterfly.

So, it's important to note that the Featheringtons are the next door neighbors of the Bridgertons, and it's of no surprise that Penelope would, after disparaging her own family, turn her attention to the family that has captivated her most of her life.

Okay, I kind of love these paintings as an introduction to the Bridgertons. (Are there ones for Gregory and Hyacinth?) I think it's a fun touch to the whole historical setting of the show. And it makes them look as if they're these frozen, idyllic pictures and who are not exactly real. Which is great when combined with the Lady Whistledown dialogue going on how wonderfully attractive they are - because it sets us just slightly apart from them.

Like I said above - Penelope is on the outside, and as we move in, so are we, but we get to finally move in to see real people behind the paintings. (Also - omg, the look on Eloise's face is priceless and I love it)

Also. A+ casting, guys. I really believe they're all related. ;)

I also love the juxtaposition that when we first hear the Bridgertons talking, unlike their perfect, picture-esque counterparts in the paintings, we get Eloise complaining. (Look, I love Eloise a lot -- and she's the third in this crazy triangle, so we'll be talking a bit about her, too.) We also get a bit of chaos as the camera descends the stairs, with Gregory running around them and the banter between the sisters.

It's all great, quick character set up as each of the Bridgerton siblings gets a little beat in this sequence.

And... we get our first glimpse at Colin!

And here's the thing about Colin. He's the third son. Anthony may not be around at the very moment, but he's very much a father figure to a lot of them and is in a different place being the oldest and actual Lord of the Estate. His role is much different. And then there's Benedict - who is that second in command while Anthony is away. Benedict, though is the artsy one and the experimental one and is a bit more aloof in nature. Which brings us to Colin... Who doesn't have the same set in stone sense of purpose Anthony does nor the happiness of just floating through life the way Benedict does.

And so, this scene has a couple of tidbits to kind of illustrate his place in this huge household. He's says he'll go get Daphne (who is currently hiding out in her room, and whom everyone has been arguing about). Colin does like having purpose, and does like to help whenever he can.

And then there's his banter with Benedict about how he's better liked by Daphne than him. It's a great little moment, not only the show again allowing to us to know that we should not be taking this historical show too seriously, not only showing us the beloved sibling antics (which -- i really love all the sibling dynamics in this show), but also showing that Colin has a bit of a cheeky side, and isn't afraid to bring a bit a levity to the situation when he can.

Also, a tiny tidbit in relation to the book, Colin and Daphne (being close in age) are rather close in the book. We don't necessarily see it in the show due to the nature of wanting to highlight Anthony more, but I feel like these lines are a little nod to that, too.

Of course, then, Eloise screams at the top of her lungs, which is a moment I still laugh at. I love that while Benedict's jaw is dropped, Colin is entirely amused by her, as I'm sure she livens the entire household up.

We get both households coming out of their houses, and we get this sweet little moment where we see that, not only are they neighbors, but Penelope and Eloise know each other and are friends.

I love that Penelope is so overjoyed to be looking over to the Bridgertons that she kind of freezes in excitement and has to be ushered along.

Also as the camera pulls back, we see Eloise reading a Lady Whistledown pamphlet! The first time we see someone do so!

You guys remember Disney's Sleeping Beauty? There's a moment when they enter the castle the three good fairies are announced. The dude who announces the Featherington sisters reminds me of that -- introducing Flora, Fauna, and Merriweather! (Don't even come at me, it's my favorite Disney movie)

Anyway... we get LW's narration that this is a pivotal moment for London society at the time -- when the girls are presented to the Queen and enter the marriage mart. Basically, it's a coming of age for young women. And while Prudence might have the most embarrassing moment by fainting (I mean - who's to blame her, really) Penelope looks so awkward going out there -- before her time, really not emotionally ready, and just not graceful in the way that the other girls, including even her sisters, just are.

Okay, so it's not really our first Polin moment, but there is a pseudo moment buried in here.

But first - I want to acknowledge that Penelope, feeling out of place, and at ill-ease with her surroundings, throws a glance over to Eloise. I love Eloise's truly perplexed look as she watches her friend go through something that neither of them really want -- as if trying to grapple how any of this is real. Penelope and Eloise's bond is incredibly important to both their characters and the show (and is something I enjoy as much as I love all the Polin).

As for Colin standing over there in the corner... No, there's not really anything to pull out here. But! There is going to be a moment in season 3, when Colin is writing in his journal, where it's clear that he's thinking about this moment, and describing watching her as she heads towards the queen. It's a cute callback to this moment, and even if we don't really see it -- it's still there. He's still noticing her, even if it's very, very subtly.

LW continues her narration about how important the Queen's opinion is of the ladies of society, and how important it is to make a good impression. But fascinatingly, Penelope is too busy looking at the ceilings and being in awe of her surroundings to really take notice of what the Queen is doing. She's a bit, understandably, shocked. (and another great comedic moment as Portia kind of knocks her back into focusing.)

It's great for setting the atmosphere of the show, but also allowing us, through Penelope, to take in our surroundings and be in awe of what we're witnessing.

It's also, I'll add, to be an awkward contrast to when Daphne comes in and is completely flawless in her entrance. Penelope is our side character. She's not our main character. And main characters are supposed to have a level of perfection to them. (Or so we're been accustomed to believe.) I think one thing I'm happy to see on the show is that, while we're still going to get a lot of romance story tropes, the show does try to dismantle a few of the stereotypes as we go along.

Also, two quick smaller notes... we don't really get to see Colin's reaction to Daphne -- Anthony and the sister are too in the way, and he doesn't have much of a discernable reaction when we do see him. And, the narration makes note that Daphne is going to burn quickly, which honestly made me laugh a little.

And.... that takes us up to the credits! Which is where I'll be stopping for now. Since this is the first episode and an introduction to the world, there's actually lot of both Penelope and Colin in it, so there's a lot to go through... stay tuned ;)

[hopecorps]

i wanna talk about The Ship War going on right now in the 911 fandom (largely on tiktok and twitter) and i'm not a bnf especially in this fandom (and i wouldn't want to be) but i'm kind of hoping people on both sides are willing to read this post anyway because i cannot be the only one completely turned off by it

i finished writing this so i wanna clarify: this is officially aimed at buddie shippers (i am one of you) because i genuinely want to have meaningful discussion and also i'm not exactly defending tommy here. but! i think if bucktommy shippers were interested in reading, there is stuff in here for you too

i have to split this up into sections which is annoying but i won't be able to make any sense without sections so. sorry

1. pre-tommy buddie shipping

so like a lot of people i knew about 911 and buddie entirely through tumblr osmosis, and there was a general attitude of confidence: buddie WILL become canon. if it doesn't... something something. i don't really know the season 6 finale was hard for a lot of you. and after watching, i do really understand why. but.

from an outside perspective, this fandom attitude was nothing like i'd ever really experienced before. i stopped watching supernatural around season 11, several years before gaycas, when confirmed bisexual dean was genuinely outside the realm of possibility.

i was a tjlc believer. i was an episode 4 conspiracist. i have been delusional about gays on my television screen before. so i was really apprehensive at the way buddie fans were moving. not only was buddie GOING to happen, but if it didn't it would be a failure of the network and the showrunners and the actors and it could have been the greatest love story ever told and shipping was not ENOUGH. it had to be canon in order to matter. shipping anything else was fruitless and offensive. this was what i was seeing. and i was like. well there's no way that's going to happen

and then season 7 started airing and there was this reignited hope

and then 7x4 aired.

2. the birth of bucktommy

so i started watching 911 after 7x4 aired. a lot of people did. i'll be honest i did genuinely think that eddie was out and gay and i was like "oh shit is it finally happening??" and then i realized it was some other guy and spend like 4 straight days tumblr deepdiving into it

like i said i was almost exclusively following buddie shippers so my consensus was like. buck and tommy are cute but it's obviously (TO ME) a steppingstone for buddie. after watching the entire show i do still feel that way.

here's the thing though: shipping isn't about what is going to be canon. i'm a marvel fan. my first fandom was fucking icarly, okay, my track record of shipping non-canon couples that actually end up together starts and ends with nbc sitcoms and even then barely. shipping to me is about character analysis and smooshing barbie dolls together with my friends. shipping to me is putting some guy in a blender and another guy performing frankenstein experiments on them

it doesn't matter to me actually that a ship isn't going to end up together, even if i like them. i'm not saying some bucktommy fans don't overstep certain boundaries (that i'll get into) but a FAIR BIT of them know this. a fair bit of them were buddie shippers and a fair bit of them still are. and there's a reason theyre put off

3. social media discourse

the first real piece of morality discourse came from tiktok. i won't namedrop this creator but if you're on tiktok you know who i'm talking about.

this person started the tiktok talking about something that i genuinely do agree with: fans who love tommy but hated all of buck's ex girlfriends should probably perform some self-reflection on the very real misogyny problem in 911 fandom and fandom in general. this i am 1000% behind. a call-in of sorts: hey guys! check yourselves! it is really easy to fall into misogyny especially with gay shipping. though i will argue that buddie shippers could stand to do the same thing (looking at you, people who write fanfic where ana flores is ableist for no reason)

they went on, however, to say that bucktommy shippers Must only like bucktommy because they are a gay ship, And Also Therefore, these people Must Be gay fetishists, as the only reason you would like bucktommy over buddie is because you just want to see men make out with each other. You People don't like gay shipping in the Correct way that i do, you like to gay ship in a nasty fetish way (only slightly exaggerating). you saw that buck and tommy kissed online and you watched the entire show just to watch men make out with each other which is Bad And Wrong.

aside from the fact that this person also literally started watching the show after 7x4 aired (and like i said so did a lot of people. one would think this is a morally neutral thing to do), this struck a nerve with me. this take (which was repeated ad nauseam by everyone in their circle) is just plainly irresponsible.

it is inappropriate to suggest that someone is like. morally reprehensible for *checking my notes* shipping a canon television couple. is tim minear a gay fetishist for writing the bucktommy kiss? is the average viewer a gay fetishist for going "oh i didn't see that coming! they seem like a nice couple"? is my mom a gay fetishist? are you calling my mom a gay fetishist??

this is an argument that i've seen happen in a billion different ways over the past decade and a half of being in fandom spaces by the way. are women allowed to read gay fanfiction? what about gay porn? what if they get off to it? are they allowed to write it themselves? what if they're not straight? what if they're not women? was casey mcquiston fetishizing gay men when they wrote red white and royal blue? is the romance genre allowed to exist with gay men and straight women in it? do you have to check everyone's gender or sexual identity at the login page for ao3 and tumblr dot com to determine if it is morally okay for them to participate in fandom at all?

and then there was the comparisons between bucktommy and buddie fic stat breakdowns: bucktommy's are writing more smut And That's Bad and buddie fans are writing stories with plot And That's Good.

it. is. irresponsible. it is oversimplifying. it is judgmental and above all else it is irrelevant. people could like bucktommy because they think they're hot or because they think theyre interesting or because buck realized he was bisexual or because they think tommy has potential as a character. it is a ship. creating a dichotomy where one ship is the morally good thing to ship and one ship is the morally bad thing to ship is irresponsible and not in the spirit of fandom.

morality and purity conversations in fandom are like. an entirely different can of worms to talk about and this is going to be long enough already. but bucktommy shippers shot back with the same energy:

if you don't like bucktommy then you are homophobic because tommy is gay

i did see quite a bit of this argument because a number of people that id been following did get into bucktommy and i do still follow and like these people

i covered most of my feelings about this type of argument above but to reiterate: it is possible to like different ships without making it a morality competition. it's disingenuous and annoying.

especially that brief stint where people were saying that the bucktommy shipname was a slur against gay men. you can just not like it. you can just not like it and have it end there. it's an ugly shipname but you don't have to make it a moral issue.

especially because then buddie shippers pulled out the trump card:

4. the tommy problem

because these people just watched the entire show in like four weeks (again, neutral statement, i did the same fucking thing) they remember tommy from hen and chimney begins. and. okay

i'm not about to be taken out of context here. i watched bp's video when it came out, i think what was said was wrong, i'm not about to say that being racist was like. cool or excusable 20 years ago. i think there is a discussion to be had here about this though. there's a reason i'm typing this out carefully:

i want to say firstly that there IS a conversation to be had about the social landscape in 2005 and especially pre-obama america for the purposes of a bunch of 20 years olds who were not alive or fully conscious yet. people told casually racist jokes (casual in that they are told casually without intent for violence, not that they are not violent. all racism is violence) and there were fewer social ramifications for those racist jokes in 2005. that does not make them Magically Not Racist. they were. it was not okay. it was, however, Extremely Common. does that make it okay? no.

i'm saying that largely because it seems to ME that tim or whoever wrote that particular episode wrote that joke to paint a picture of where the characters are in the story. chimney is not under bobby. he is not being treated with respect. he is 15 years in the past (from when the episode aired. whatever) it is different. it wasn't supposed to matter who said it

(it did matter and it does matter that it's tommy who said it by the way. because that's like. the universe of the show)

(though my theory - and i'm just being stupid for a sec indulge me it's 3am - is that tim and ryan both LOVE writing in guys named tommy. seriously i've been rewatching glee and when i watched 911 i noticed this too that there are so many characters that we never even meet named tommy. abby's ex for one. my theory is that tim wanted to bring in some guy named tommy for buck's awakening and he realized he already had one. lol.)

SECONDLY. sorry that was longwinded. secondly, i am a person who believes that people are capable of change. 20 years is a long time to grow. even as an adult. again, this does not excuse racism, but it is important anyway.

this is all theoretical but i want you to walk with me: it is possible for a 20-30 year old closeted gay white man with a homophobic captain pre-obama to pick up and not experience consequences for inappropriate comments and casual racism and even be seeking out a parent-like validation from someone who encourages it AND THEN, after 20 years wherein he realizes he's gay, comes out of the closet, i believe it is POSSIBLE for him to unpack his internalized racism, apologize, and grow as a person

obviously these are fictional characters but it is important to my fucking philosophy of life that people are capable of change and having empathy or understanding that in fictional characters is so fucking baseline.

it is important that we as a society can agree that someone's behavior, ideology, and/or biases can change. that like. that just HAS to be possible.

caveat #1 that does not mean that any people of color who are fans of the show have to like tommy or even forgive him (or even like. hen and chim lmao it's kind of clear to me that at least hen doesn't) and i am not going to tell them to

caveat #2 i also understand that there is no explicit acknowledgment of this on screen (i think this is because tim forgot which i find funny but like i said. it still matters that it's tommy regardless of intent) and because of that there technically is nothing To forgive

ALL OF THAT TAKEN INTO ACCOUNT.

even if we are assuming that tommy has learned nothing and has not changed at all. the leap from "tommy is/was racist" to "shipping bucktommy or finding tommy interesting Makes You Racist" is heinous to me.

sometimes people like characters who are shitty people. some of you like tony stark. sorry

it's ridiculous to me because there are plenty of other reasons to dislike bucktommy that doesn't like. vilify random people on the internet. he's not even framed as a particularly good boyfriend! we don't even know if they're boyfriends, for one thing!

i've been complaining about buddie shippers for this entire time but i literally am one of you and that's what pisses me off. you threw the first blow in the morality competition and you are bigger - and you KNOW you are bigger because you are proud of the fact - and you are winning.

you are right about a lot of it: tommy isn't a good guy. there is an active racism problem in this fandom. there is a misogyny problem in this fandom. but by and large buddie shippers have been in the game longer and have much larger followings and there is nasty shit i'm seeing which brings me to

5. social media discourse 2 electric boogaloo: twitter edition

twitter is a cesspool in the best of times but i have seen some shit in the past two weeks that makes me never want to write fanfiction for this fandom or even interact with most of the fans ever again. and i'm serious

there is a big buddie fanfic writer who is like. beloved. if you read buddie fanfiction you've read their work for sure. they started writing bucktommy and buddietommy fics around april. and people are being so nasty about them on twitter it is actually fucking embarrassing.

AND LIKE. god. fandom etiquette is so simple.

when i first started reading buddie fanfic the first thing i noticed was how many fics are locked. and i was like "i wonder why that is"

just look at these tweets. i have kept the author's handle here uncensored but please be normal do not bother this person. i'm sure their ao3 comments are hell enough already

what the fuck is your people's problem i'm serious

i'm like actually appalled. this is embarrassing. this isn't even the most embarrassing thing i've seen buddie stans do recently and it is NOT uncommon. it is not small accounts. you guys are the majority. these tweets have hundreds of likes.

i don't give a shit what this person was writing. i actually don't care. their fics are locked. they write for free.

to take someone's fic outside ao3 is considered bad fandom etiquette. to talk about an author where they don't have an account is generally considered bad fandom etiquette. to complain about fanfiction openly is bad fandom etiquette. i don't care if this is y'all's first fandom. in what world are you going to take to twitter and openly complain about someone writing fanfiction for a ship you don't like.

if i were them i would delete all of the buddie fics or never write buddie again i'm so serious. this is so ridiculous.

and this is sort of the nail in the coffin for me, seeing this tweet the other day:

this tweet has over a thousand likes

this is a larger fandom issue as of recent with the use of like. mental health terms as insults but it actually fucking disgusts me!

i looked at mark's twitter. it's pretty clear to me that he's a troll/having fun/provoking people on purpose but on TOP of that his tweets get at most 35 likes. i checked and this tweet got 21 likes. and over a thousand likes calling him schizophrenic. 24 replies doubling down. 25 retweets. 47 quote tweets. 62 bookmarks. over a thousand likes.

and buddie shippers are the good guys

it is ridiculous to me that as a fandom buddie shippers have created a space where it is impossible to have a meaningful discussion about fandom misogyny, racism, of homophobia because everyone who disagrees with you is morally opposed to you, and yet it is this side of the fandom with enough traction and support to openly bully and mock these people that you have decided are morally reprehensible.

6. in conclusion i'm sorry i know no one read this

fandom in general post-covid has become less of a community based in sharing creativity and the love of something (and i know this intimately as a kpop stan lol). online spaces in general have become something i don't recognize or want to participate in. which sucks. i've been here for a long time.

i know there's not really any way for that group of like 5 or so tiktokers that complain about tommy ad nauseam to see this or even take it seriously. i know there's not any way for those people on twitter to magically understand fandom etiquette or just block the people they don't want to see.

everyone would be happier if they just. blocked and moved on. i know i would. and i have! in a lot of cases. there's a reason i blocked out the names on those tweets (note: i blocked mark's twitter handle. the person who screenshotted it so he wouldn't be notified and then called them schizophrenic did not. because they do not care) because it's not about THEM it's about the whole fucking thing.

and a lot of these people want to be mad. it's why they're so hung up on tommy. like i'm sorry if any bucktommy fan is still reading this but GOD TOMMY HAS BEEN ON SCREEN FOR LIKE TEN MINUTES TOTAL IN THE ENTIRE SHOW. HE DOESN'T EVEN MATTER. JUST ADMIT THIS IS ABOUT A SHIP WAR. IT ISN'T ABOUT HOW GOOD OF A PERSON YOU ARE OR ANYONE IS. IT'S JUST A SHIP WAR. and they want to be miserable. they want to sit in their little echochamber of morally upright big name fans and they want to provoke bucktommy fans into saying something shitty and they love it because they don't really fucking care about the show.

you know how i know? because tommy is the least important part of chimney begins. that is in the best 3 episodes of this entire television show and none of y'all have anything to say about it. because you're just as obsessed with tommy as they are.

[aurumacadicus]

110 for the ask meme!

To be clear, Steve is still pre-serum size, all the serum did was make him healthy/super-strong. The Propaganda Cap was a hired actor so it wasn't exposed that he's tiny until after the war.

--

Peggy had said she'd find a place for him at SHIELD, but Steve had to wonder what, exactly, that place would be. He felt out of place as he followed her down the halls, like he was taking up space he hadn't earned. He was still smarting from the ring on Peggy's finger, and he couldn't help but feel she was putting him elsewhere because she knew it. 'Once your therapist has given the all clear, we'll reevaluate your position,' she'd said, kindly and compassionately, and clasped her hands on the desk in a way it hid her wedding ring from his eyes.

"So, this... protection detail," Steve tried, slanting her a questioning glance as he finally stepped up beside her.

"Protection detail is the term we're using," Peggy answered, and then, before he could get rankled at the idea that he was being shoehorned into a dummy job, she continued, "Of course, attempts have been made on Anthony's life, but at this point, he's... more of a danger to himself."

Steve scowled, and he leaned forward to make sure she saw it. "So I'm a glorified babysitter."

Peggy coughed, clearly in a way to cover a laugh. "He'll be good for you. He won't pull any of his punches for you like anyone else might because you're Captain America. In fact, he'll probably go out of his way to try and push your buttons."

"You're already harassing me with one of those," Steve grumbled. Clint was friendly enough, but he was also prone to falling out of the vent into Steve's room.

"Anthony is one of a kind," Peggy assured him as they finally approached a door labeled WORKSHOP IV. She swiped her badge, and the doors slid open.

Steve followed her through, already scanning the room. It was wide, filled with tables laden with half-finished equipment, a few weapons. There was a man sitting in a spinning chair and slowly going in circles, who quickly stood up as soon as he realized they had entered. He suspected the man was Anthony. He certainly looked like a scientist, with his crisp white lab coat and askew glasses.

Peggy sighed, loudly. "Where is he, Dr. Banner?"

"I'm certain I have no idea," the man, Dr. Banner apparently, answered promptly. "I've been waiting for him myself. In fact, maybe he actually went to meet me in my lab. We should go check." He began toward the door quickly.

"Where is he, Dr. Banner," Peggy repeated, voice flat, expression sharp, and Steve couldn't help a sympathetic wince as Dr. Banner drew up short and sort of... sagged in defeat.

Dr. Banner turned, somehow trudging those two small steps, and let out a sigh of his own. "I did tell him to wait until I could get a crash mat."

Steve and Peggy immediately looked up. There was a man on the ceiling. It looked like he had plungers on his hands and knees. There was a stack of three forty-five pound weights hanging from a harness he was wearing.

"This isn't what it looks like," the man said after a brief pause. "You can't tell my dad. If you do, I'll tell him state secrets."

"Anthony, you get down from there this instant," Peggy barked, and Steve bit the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing.

Anthony scowled down at her. "No! I need to make sure these grippers can hold up to four hundred pounds. So far they only handle three-fifty."

"You're over two hundred pounds?" Steve asked skeptically, crossing his arms over his chest. Anthony looked one-eighty at most.

Anthony swiveled his head, not unlike a bird, to turn his scowl on Steve. "I'm svelte. Who the fuck are you?"

Steve sighed, turning his gaze back to Peggy. "It really feels like I'm being punished," he said flatly, but he knew he couldn't quite keep the smile from playing at his lips.

Peggy narrowed her eyes at Anthony. "Well, it's not a great first impression to show that you're not babysitting," she reluctantly agreed. "Anthony, come down, or I'll have Steve get you down."

Anthony looked, somehow, even angrier. "I don't need a babysitter and I was only slightly kidnapped last time so I don't need a bodyguard either."

"How are you only slightly kidnapped," Steve asked, but was drowned out by both Peggy and Dr. Banner shouting at him that he'd also somehow glued himself to the wall so maybe yes he did need a babysitter. He also wanted to know how Anthony glued himself to a wall, but he got the feeling that was something he'd have to get from Clint the next time he fell through his vent instead of from anyone in the room with him currently.

"Steve," Peggy sighed, waving her hand up at him. She glanced at her watch, looking irritated. "I have a meeting with the DOD."

"I'll get him down," Steve assured her.

"Hah!" Anthony crowed. "You're like, five feet tall. How you gonna reach me, shortie?"

"I'm leaving," Peggy said, and then she grabbed Dr. Banner by the arm to lead him out. He didn't look like he needed much encouragement.

Steve turned to the room again, considering, then finally walked over to one of the tables, where it looked like Anthony had been working on a replica of his shield.

"Hey, that's still in trials," Anthony barked.

Steve flipped the shield between his fingers, getting used to the weight, then turned, using the momentum from the spin to fling it full force at Anthony. It bounced off of the row of weights, and they swung wildly to one side, then the other, rocking Anthony and his sticky plungers side to side as he squawked in offense and alarm. Steve walked over to stand below him just as the hand plungers popped free.

"ACK," Anthony squawked as he somersaulted down, knee plungers popping free under the combined weight of Anthony, the weights, and gravity.

Steve caught the strap the weights were attached to as they dropped past him, then lifted his other arm, so Anthony dropped into them neatly. When Anthony only blinked up at him, wide-eyed and hands still held up awkwardly, Steve couldn't help a smirk. "Just because I'm short doesn't mean I'm helpless."

Anthony blinked at him one more time, then scowled again. "Just because you're hot doesn't mean I'm not going to be annoying as hell."

"...What," Steve began, but then Anthony was rolling out of his arms and hefting the stack of weights up so he could stalk off like an offended cat. "What?!" he tried again, but Anthony was muttering about ultimate tensile strength and other ductile materials.

[for-a-longlongtime]

I can't decide between asking about Maverick 7 and asking about Acacius x Maximus (x Lucilla), so I'll let you decide which one you want to share with us. :)

Ahhh thank you for asking after my Acacius!! OK so settle in:

You know how we were told that Acacius trained under Maximus (aka Russell Crow's character) when he was young, plus how we saw a very small bit of a younger Acacius in a G2 flashback helping Lucilla and boy!Lucius get away when Maximus is killed in the arena? (right pic) That stayed on my mind, but what really triggered an fic idea for me was when Acacius is kneeling down in the arena, about to get killed. He looks up at Lucius and says:

“I loved your father. I would have died for him.”

So... what if there was a lot more that happened between Acacius and Maximus than the movies showed?

I don't have enough quotable WIP text yet to share because it's still in an early stage, but basically this fic aligns with most of narrative that we see in both the movies. Following the actors' ages, Maximus was 35, Lucilla was 33, and I'm having Acacius be about eight years younger than them. He's a rising star in Maximus' army and due to circumstances these two get involved with each other, but it's very much kept under wraps because of Maximus' status - plus he's married and has a kid, as we see. So this is why Lucilla never knew at the time that there was anything between the two men besides comradery and their service to the army.

She knows Acacius, because he's a lot around, incl when Lucilla and Maximus meet up occasionally (IMO their affair didn't end when Lucius was born). So when Maximus gets killed in the arena, Acacius is the one who gets Lucilla and her kid to safety (we see this in the movie); in my opinion, he's always known who Lucius' father was. It's Acacius too who brings Lucius to Numibia to keep him safe - as a favor to Lucilla, but also to honor his dead lover of course. Eventually he returns to continue to protect Lucilla, as he had sworn to Maximus he would do, and those two end up becoming pretty close.

They're both mourning the death of Maximus, so they understand what the other is going though - and eventually they get involved with each other, even though Acacius is extremely conflicted about it. But he feels like he can't just suddenly spring the news on Lucilla about his history with Maximus, partly because he doesn't want to lose her, because she's the only part of Maximus that's still in his life. 😫

Does this make the events of G2 so much worse? Oh, hell yeah.

So it's definitely going to be an angsty yet smutty fic, probably a longer one shot. Not sure when I'm gonna be able to write this (and I initially swore to myself that I wasn't gonna put this fic idea to paper, but Acacius has been really insistent about it to me), but I'm looking forward to it! Even though it'll probably destroy me a little. 😅 The one thing that's holding me back a little is that I'm not a historical fic writer, and I want to navigate it carefully to not have too many inconsistencies with how things were in the Roman era - but on the other hand, it's fic, so it's really not the end of the world if I get something wrong, hmm?

Thank you for asking about this!! I've had these three on the backburner in my mind, but it's nice to talk about them.

If anyone wants to ask me about any of my other WIPS, check out the original WIP folder post here!

[lucidlivi]

Chosen For Pleasure (I)

Series Masterlist/Warnings

"Actor turned business billionaire Jensen Ackles, is set to open up a new ale house here in Laredo Texas today. Plenty of stars are set to be in attendance including Ackles ex co-star and best friend Jared Padalecki. It should be a packed event!"

I listened to the reporter on the television as I adjusted the camera strap around my neck. I bit my lip as my bosses words replayed in my head.

"I really need you on this (y/n), get the picture for the magazine, and maybe we'll talk about a promotion."

I worked for a local magazine as a photographer, it wasn't my dream job by any means but it was a start. My boss Gray had connections, so if I impressed him, i'd have a better shot at getting my photographs seen by more people.

I was supposed to go to the grand opening of the new ale house by Jensen Ackles to get a picture of the ribbon cutting.

I don't know why I was so nervous, maybe because my boss made it seem as if my job depended on getting this picture.

Maybe it did.

"ugh you look gorgeous, I wish I could go with you." my roommate Stella said leaning against the door frame.

"I wish you were going too." I murmur giving her a small smile.

"here's the questions, even if you could just get him to answer one!" she said handing me a list of prepared questions for Jensen.

"I can't promise anything Stell, there will probably be hundreds of reporters there, I don't even know how I'll get a good picture. Gray will have my neck if I don't pull this off." I sighed nervously.

"everything will be fine, you always make it happen, now go out there and take a picture of that beautiful man." she cheered pushing me towards the door.

"oh an (y/n/n) try to smile, you look better when you smile." she added.

I rolled my eyes tucking her list in my jacket pocket and walking out the door with a wave. It was a quick drive to the new ale house location, this was Jensen's fourth grand opening after all so he knew all about the prime locations for business.

I gasped as I pulled up to the spot, there were thousands of people waiting. I saw a lot of people in supernatural shirts proclaiming their love for Dean Winchester.

Damn these fans sure are dedicated.

I grabbed my media badge, making sure I had everything. I walked over to an area roped off with a velvet rope, this was where the media usually stands.

I glanced up seeing the overwhelming number of reporters and photographers. There was a make shift stage where Jensen would come out and give a few words before cutting the ribbon.

"uh hi, I'm (F/N L/N) for Texas Monthly." I said to the security guard showing him my press badge.

"of course Ms. (L/N), right this way."

I'm led behind the rope with the hundreds of other media workers.

Great, I couldn't see a thing.

I wasn't the tallest, standing 5"3 on a good day. I really needed this picture. I took a deep breath. I was just going to have to push my way through. I sighed as I started to forcefully push my way through the crowded bodies. I uttered apologies as people gave me dirty looks.

It finally got to where I could push no more. I was closer to the front but still a ways away. There was no way I was getting a good picture now. I blew a piece of stray hair that had fallen in my face when there was a clearing of a mic sound, followed by the girls in the crowd delivering ear splitting screams. I stood on my tippy toes and looked up at the stage.

Jensen Ackles walked over to the microphone standing clad in a black suit and a tie. He smiled showing his perfect teeth. He waved his hand at the screaming girls.

"holy.." I stared to say looking up at him.

I've seen pictures of him of course, but up close he looked even more mesmerizing, if that were remotely possible. His eyes were dark as he scanned the crowd. His jaw clenched looking as if the heavens chiseled it out of stone. He was intimidatingly tall, with muscles being accentuated by his suit jacket. He was undeniably gorgeous.

"thank you, thank you all." He said waiting for the screams to die down.

It just made the girls scream more. Hs voice was raspy, it dripped of sex appeal.

"I appreciate everyone coming today. I'm so grateful to be opening my fourth ale house in beautiful Laredo. I've always been a connoisseur of whiskey and rum, and I've been blessed to be able to work with some incredibly talented people and make my own. What started out as a hobby has now grown in to a full blown business and I couldn't be more grateful for each and every one of you that helps this business thrive. I'm not really a man for speeches so with that being said I officially declare Ackles Ale House open!" He says cutting the ribbon.

I sucked in a sharp breath, and started to panic. I was so focused on listening to his voice, I completely forgot the entire reason I came here! I brought the camera lens up to my eye trying to get a good shot. It was impossible as there were too many people in the way.

I started snapping, praying to the heavens that there was something front page worthy in the mix. Jensen smiled as the reporters started raising their hands for questions. I dug in my pocket for Stellas list but my hands were shaking too much I ended up dropping it on the dirt below.

Shit.

I bent over quickly to pick it up.

"I apologize but Mr. Ackles isn't taking questions at this time." A voice said making people groan in displeasure.

I grabbed the paper rising. As I did I saw Jensen walking past the rope that held the media. It was like something ignited in them. Everyone started pushing closer trying to get that perfect picture, or a quote from the man himself even though it was just said he didn't want to answer questions.

I grabbed on to my camera as elbows flew into my sides and people pushed against my back. I felt my breath get caught in my throat. I didn't like crowds to begin with, and people pushing in to me was too much. A particularly large man pushed against my side causing me to trip over and fall head first into the dirt. I tried to stand up but people were too busy pushing that nobody had noticed I was down here. I covered my head worried I was going to get trampled by media reporters.

"HEY GET BACK, EVERYONE GET BACK." I heard a gruff voice call loudly over the shouting fans and reporters.

I felt a relief in pressure as the bodies move away from me quickly. I uncovered my head and saw a hand being offered out to me. I looked up and was met with piercing green eyes, eyes that belonged to a Mr. Jensen Ackles. I gulped as I looked at his extended hand. No way was he in front of me right now.

"are you okay?" He asked.

I stared at him wide eyed, somehow his voice sounded even sexier when it was talking to me. I grabbed his hand giving him a slight nervous nod. He pulled me to my feet as if I were weightless.

"no you're not, your head is bleeding."

He put his hand on my face and with his thumb stroked a spot on my forehead. I winced in pain. I must've cut my head when I fell. It was just my luck that I would look incredibly stupid in front of him. I could hear cameras snapping as he looked at me. I prayed to god this didn't end up on any front pages I was embarrassed enough already. I realized I still hadn't said anything and was just awkwardly staring at him.

"I'm sure it's okay." I quietly murmur wiping my sleeve against my head.

I looked down seeing a little red stain.

"come on, let's get you some help." He smiled.

He grabbed my hand pulling me through the crowd of people and under the rope that was now being held up by his security guards. I could hear people gossiping but I was too focused on his large hand engulfing my small one. I felt my mouth go bone dry as he pulled me inside the ale house that had yet to let patrons in.

"Sit." He instructed pulling out a bar stool for me to sit on.

He disappeared somewhere else in the pub. I took the opportunity to look around. It was beautiful in here. The decor was nice but not too flashy. He reappeared quickly with a first aide kit in hand.

"I'm sorry about that, people can get kind of crazy." He said opening the kit.

I watched his hands work delicately opening an alcohol wipe and a band aide.

Oh god his hands.

They were large, but worked swiftly and were surprisingly gentle looking.

"this will sting a little." He said dabbing my head with the wipe.

I winced and out of reflex my hand flew up grabbing his wrist. He chuckled looking me in the eyes. My strength was in no way a match for him. I'm pretty sure my face lit up like a christmas tree as I removed my hand. I continued to stare at him while he worked at cleaning some excess blood from my wound.

"you don't say much do you.. Ms. uh Ms. (L/N)." Jensen said grabbing the press badge around my neck.

"It's just (y/n)." I chirped quietly.

He towered over me. It was rather intimidating, not to mention that but he's a billionaire television star and I'm just me.

"It's not deep enough to need stitches, just a cut but definitely keep it clean and covered." He ordered putting a band aide over my cut.

He stepped back giving me a once over. I couldn't help but feel incredibly insecure.

"uh thanks, you really didn't have to do all this." I said giving him a shy smile.

"of course I did, an injury is really bad for business." He says staring down at me as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

I felt the heat creeping up to my cheeks once again.

"oh yeah uh of course." I choked clearing my throat.

Gosh I'm an idiot.

There was a pause of silence before his laughter boomed in my ears.

"I'm kidding Ms. (L/N)." He said smiling.

"It's just (y/n). " I whispered again.

"so just (y/n), are you a reporter, you really don't seem like the cutthroat type." He asked gesturing to Stellas list that I still clutched in my hand.

"uh photographer actually, I was supposed to get a picture of the opening, my friend Stella is a reporter, she was supposed to come too but uh she has the stomach bug and wanted to see if I could get you to answer some of her questions for the article she's writing." I said afraid to meet his eyes.

"well did you get one?" He questions leaning on the bar so he was more relaxed and slouched down to my level."

I gave him a confused look.

"a picture." He clarifies, laughing at my confusion.

I don't know what it was about him, but it was causing my brain to get all foggy.

"oh yeah, uhm lets see." I blushed looking down at my camera.

I noticed the lens had a crack in it, and that the hatch where the sd card was inserted was open and the sd card missing.

" oh no." I said peering at my camera.

"everything okay?" Jensen spoke up furrowing his eyebrows in concern.

"uh yeah just my camera I must've cracked the lens when I fell, and my sd card fell out. It's fine though I'm sure uh there are other pictures we can use for the column." I said shaking it off.

I didn't want him to feel bad for my clumsiness.

I looked up meeting Jensens eyes. He was staring at me intently. I gulped nervously, feeling my cheeks heat up.

"well how about I answer some of your friends questions then." He offers with a smile.

"I uh thought you weren't answering questions." I said barely above a whisper.

Jensen leaned in close so we were eye level now.

"I think I can make an exception. I mean you got hurt for me after all." He said giving me a cheeky smile.

I could feel his breath fan over my face as he spoke. It smelled like mint and whiskey. I couldn't help the chills that shot through my body.

"uh great thanks, she'll be thrilled." I said starting to fiddle with the paper, of course in my nervous tirade I dropped it.

I went to reach for it at the same time as Jensen making our hands touch.

"erm sorry." I said quickly grabbing the paper and unfolding it the rest of the way.

Jensen sat leaning on the bar staring at me, waiting for me to ask him a question. I removed a pen from my pocket and quickly looked at the paper, my brain was so foggy I convinced myself I forgot how to read for a second. I took a deep breath reading the first question on the list.

"uh you went from being a successful actor on the hit show supernatural to now owning multiple businesses, to what do you.." I started but was cut off by Jensen.

"to what do I owe my sucess? is that really her question?" He asks raising his eyebrows.

I bite my lip nervously shaking my head.

"I think my success is owed to supernatural and how hard we worked to make the show what it was, it allowed me to make connections with some great people and build up my name." He said.

"maybe you just got lucky." I chirped still biting my bottom lip.

"that's funny Ms. (L/N), I found out the harder I worked the more luck seemed to come my way." He said ruggedly.

"of course, I didn't uh mean, uh I'm just going to ask the next question, you've recently started outsourcing some of your products from third world countries, is this a personal reason or.." I started but again was cut off.

"It's smart business, that's all." He said.

I scoffed looking down at the paper.

"what you don't think I'm making smart marketing decisions?" He asked raising his eyebrows.

"No it's not that, I just think your heart may be a little bit bigger than you would like people to believe. I said giving him a shy smile.

"you know many media reporters say I don't have much of a heart at all." Jensen said running his hand down his bearded chin.

"I don't believe that." I said quickly looking at him intently.

“well then you don’t know me very well Ms. (L/N), next question.” He says quickly changing topics.

I glance at the paper flustered. It seemed like this was something that he struggled with. He didn't want to answer questions to begin with and the last thing I wanted to do was make him uncomfortable with my questioning.

“Are you gay.” I spoke before my hand immediately flew over my mouth.

I'm going to kill Stell.

“Oh my god I’m so sorry. I can’t believe I just asked you that! It’s Stella she’s intrusive and since your almost never photographed with a woman, the media speculates.” I rambled feeling absolutely embarrassed.

Jensen looked at me with a stern face before laughing.

“no I’m not gay.” He said.

“I’m sorry it’s on the paper.” I blushed.

“forget the paper..” he said grabbing it from my hands and placing it on the bar. “is there anything you want to know about me?” He asked moving just a bit closer.

I bite my lip again looking down at my hands.

“you said I didn’t know you very well to believe you have a heart, is that because you don’t think you do or other people make you feel like that?” I whisper looking at the man in front of me.

He was so nice. How could someone this nice not have a heart? Jensen once again leaned down to my eye level, our noses were practically touching. I stared nervously at his gorgeous green eyes.

“I’m not who everyone thinks that I am Ms. (L/N).” He answered his eyes falling to the floor.

I was about to respond when a couple guys in black suits came in.

“Jensen we gotta get these doors open.” A middle aged man said looking to Jensen.

“yeah of course Cole, start letting the guests in.” Jensen said standing up and turning away from me.

I slowly stood up too, displeased that whatever moment we had was now over.

“just give me a minute guys.” Jensen said holding up a finger to the gentlemen in the suits.

He turns back around grabbing my chin to examine my band aide covered head. I felt electric pulse through my skin where his fingertips met.

“I’m uh really sorry you got hurt today, and that you didn’t get your picture. I hope I answered all your questions though.” He said offering me a small smile.

“I think you only answered three of them but, I uh should go, thanks again for the help I thought I was actually going to get trampled out there.” I joked biting my bottom lip again.

Jensen looks down at my lip before meeting my eyes.

“I wouldn’t have let that happen.” Jensen says seriously his eyes flicking from my lips to my eyes.

I got a nervous feeling in my gut when he stared at me. Almost as if I was nauseous but in a good way.

“I should uh go.” I whispered not wanting to delay the opening more than I already had but also wanting to savor every bit of this moment.

“I’ll uh walk you out.” Jensen says turning around and putting a hand on my lower back.

He leads me out the back door of the ale house where it isn’t overrun with people.

“I guess this is goodbye then.” I said turning to look at him one last time.

I can’t believe I actually had the chance to sit down and talk with him. My heart ached that this experience was now over.

“who knows Ms. (L/N). I might see you around.” Jensen says before turning around and walking back in to his business.

“just (y/n).” I whisper biting my lip, though he was already too far gone.

I couldn’t help the grin that spread over my face as I walked outside. The Texas heat hit me like a freight train, Jensen’s words playing in my head.

“who knows I might see you around.”

My smile didn’t falter as I quietly drove back to our little apartment. As soon as I pulled in my parking space Stella was out at my car.

“Oh my god (y/n/n) your all over the internet.” She screams handing me her phone.

I look down and there are pictures of Jensen jumping over the velvet rope to rescue me. I looked like a deer in headlights staring up at him.

God this was so embarrassing.

I just hope Gray doesn't see these. I gave her, her phone back getting out of the car.

“so…” she starts with a squeal.

“so…” I say rolling my eyes at her.

“tell me everything, what happened!?” she screams grabbing my shoulders.

“nothing really, he brought me inside to clean up my cut and we just talked for a little bit, I asked him some of your questions, I even asked him if he was gay, which thanks for that by the way.” I said pushing past her into the apartment.

“ooh yeah sorry about that, so what was he like?” She pestered.

“nice, polite, serious, intimidating.” I rattled off, my mind going to the towering man with the raspy voice.

“uh totally hot…” she added.

"I mean yeah if you're in to that type." I said glancing at her.

“so did you get your picture?” she asked looking at my camera.

I looked down at my camera again disappointed. I knew I was going to get shit for not doing the one task I was asked of, I’m just hoping Stella’s questions were enough to get me out of the hole I had dug for myself.

“no, when I fell my lens cracked and I’m missing my sd card.” I groaned taking my camera off from around my neck and tossing it on the couch.

“oh well you wrote down the answers to the questions right?” She said cocking her head to the side.

I shook my head, fishing in my jacket pocket for her list of questions where I'd scribbled his answers in pen. I didn’t feel them though. Realization hit me as I remembered Jensen grabbing the paper out of my hand and setting it on the bar. I never picked it back up. I was definitely screwed now. I remember all of his answers but still, I don’t know if anyone will believe just word of mouth.

“about that..” I started biting my lip.

“Gray’s going to be furious.” Stella says giving me a concerned look.

“you’re telling me.” I said crashing on the couch.

A million thoughts were running through my head, all of them leading back to one person in particular. He was definitely intimidating but there was also something about him that drew you in and hypnotized you. I shuddered remembering how close he was to me, the smell of his aftershave mixed with his cologne filled my nostrils. It was definitely the best day I've had in awhile despite not getting my picture and the hell I’m going to get for it. I grabbed a blanket off the back of the sofa, curling up and falling into a euphoric sleep, my dreams consisting of a certain green eyed man.

“I guess this is goodbye then.” I said turning to look at him one last time.

"maybe it doesn't have to be?"

Jensen came closer to me running a hand down the side of my face. He looked in my eyes intently while bringing his face closer. I bit my lip out of habit.

"what I wouldn't do to bite that lip." He groaned.

"What’s stopping you?"

He leaned in making my eyes flutter closed. I could feel his breath just a mere inch away from me. He got closer.....and closer.....

I awoke to someone violently shaking my shoulders.

"(y/n), get the hell up, we're going to be late for work." Stella yelled throwing a pillow at me.

I shot up from my position on the couch.

Shit. I overslept.

I quickly grabbed some clothes sprinting to the bathroom. I threw on black dress pants, a white top and a black blazer. I ran my fingers quickly through my hair, deciding this would have to do for now. I managed to have enough time to gargle with some mouth wash before running out the door.

"so what are you going to tell Gray?" Stella asked driving to the editorial office while I applied a thin layer of mascara in the passengers seat.

Fuck. I was so preoccupied thinking of Jensen I had no clue what the hell I was going to say to my boss.

"maybe he won't ask." I shrugged in defeat.

"yeah and maybe I'll be the next Queen of England." Stella joked.

She pulled into her designated parking spot, gathering her bag from the back seat. I opened the door moving at a sluggish pace. Maybe if I avoided Gray everything would be fine. He's a busy man after all, there are times where he can’t be seen throughout the day. I was praying that today was one of those days, just until I could think of what to say to him, or find something else that could potentially save our article. I walked in the building with my head down going straight to my desk.

Keep cool. I don't think he saw me enter.

I turn around unpacking my bag when I heard a hand slam down on my desk.

Of course. I just can’t win!

I hesitantly turn around, my boss Gray staring down at me.

"so did you get my picture?" He asked glaring at me.

I noticed Stella start to shuffle closer, knowing I'd need her for support.

"about the picture sir.." I started my voice quiet.

"you didn't get the picture!?" He asked, slowly starting to raise his voice.

"no, there were too many people, I fell and cracked the lens of my camera, and.." I rambled but was cut off.

"this was huge (y/n), you really dropped the ball on this one. I can't believe you're incapable of doing one small simple task, how are you ever going to make it in the big leagues if you can't snap a simple picture?" He yelled in disappointment.

I could feel the tears lace my eyes as he degraded me in front of the entire editorial office. I've never felt so small. Stella steps up beside me.

“now sir, let’s take it easy.” She tries to defend while trying not to cross a line.

"I'm really sorry sir." I apologized looking down at my feet, not wanting him to see my tear brimmed eyes.

"you're sorry, well sorry doesn't...." He started but was interrupted by a voice.

"I'm uh looking for a Ms. (L/N)."

I snapped my head up.

I know that voice.

Jensen stood at the reception desk, the receptionist too stunned to speak.

"holy shit.." Stella and I both said at the same time.

Jensen glances around, finally connecting eyes with mine. He smiles making his way to my desk.

“Mr. Ackles what a pleasure to have you here, I’m Gray Holland, chief editor.” Gray says putting on a big smile, which was different from his usual scowl.

Jensen ignored him, instead coming to stand in front of me and a very stunned Stella.

“you’re uh here, how, why?” I asked in shock.

“I believe you dropped this.” Jensen said.

He reaches in to his pocket and pulls out an sd card. He found it… but how? Did he go looking?

“Ah you must be Stella?” Jensen said turning to her.

She stands wide eyed nodding her head. He reaches in his other pocket pulling out a folded up paper… it was the list of her questions.

“I’m uh not gay but thanks for clarifying.” Jensen says handing Stella her list of questions.

She unfolded it with shaking hands, every question was filled out in his neat handwriting. I can’t believe he took the time to do that. Jensen gives me a smile before turning around to face Gray.

“Mr. Holland was it? I apologize sir, I didn’t anticipate the amount of people being there, therefore quality control was not the most efficient. It was my fault, Ms. (L/N) was shoved over and her camera sustained damages. I’ve written out a check that should cover the cost to replace the camera.” Jensen spoke pulling out a folded check.

My breath was caught in my throat. Nobody had ever stood up for me before. Gray was an intimidating man but looked small compared to Jensen.

“I appreciate your explanation and thank you Mr. Ackles, but (y/n) still didn’t get the cleared picture for her article.” Gray says pocketing the check.

I rolled my eyes. All Gray cares about is his stupid magazine.

“I know it’s not the same, but I’m free now for an original picture, as long as Ms. (L/ N) gets to take it.” Jensen spoke glancing back at me.

I could hear Stella shriek with excitement. Gray looks at me with judge filled eyes before agreeing.

“you girls go set up in the studio.” Gray orders me and Stella.

Stella grabs my hand sprinting to the studio while Jensen went to freshen up in the bathroom.

“Oh my gosh I can’t believe this is real right now!” Stella squealed.

“I have no idea how he found me, I never told him where we work.” I said scratching my head.

“He’s so totally into you (y/n) ! Must’ve made an impression if he tracked you down!” Stella fangirled.

“you’re delusional my friend.” I laughed starting to set up a backdrop and a ring light for some good lighting.

Jensen came back, dressed in his signature suit and tie.

“Ready?” He asked giving me a smile.

I don’t think I’ll ever get used to his smile.

I shook my head biting my bottom lip. Jensen walked in front of the backdrop and posed for the camera. It didn’t take me long to snap a couple good pictures of him. Let’s be honest, the man was incapable of taking a bad one. I brought the camera down from my eye sifting through the pictures.

“any good ones?” Jensen asked, his presence suddenly much closer.

“they’re all good.” I smiled turning my camera to show him the headshots.

I could feel his body heat radiating off of him as he stood close glancing down at the pictures.

“wow these are great, you’re really talented.” Jensen said looking down at me.

Hold up did he just call me talented!? I could feel the immediate heat spread to my cheeks.

“thank you and thank you for all this, Gray’s always on my case.” I said staring up at the tall man.

“I owe you one, and that guy is blind if he can’t see the talent right in front of him.” Jensen said reaching a hand up to stroke my cheek in a comforting manor.

Suddenly someone was clearing their throat. I completely forgot Stella was in the room too.

“I’m just going to go.” She said pointing to the door.

She started to walk backwards but tripped on her two feet causing Jensen and I to laugh. Once she was out the door Jensen turned his attention back to me.

“so any plans for lunch?” He asked.

I bit my lip shaking my head no.

“how about lunch with me?”

“I’d love too.” I breathed.

“then it’s a date.”

Author Note:

Hello!

I really hope you Jensen lovers are liking the first part of my new fiction. If you can show it with a heart, reblog, comment, or a follow!

Part (II)

[oddvanilla]

Dhar Mann might've been secretly a "villain" the whole time....

Pt.1 (?)

No, you're not hallucinating. You saw that title correctly. Believe it or not, I have had ridiculous beef for years with the man who many love, and even adore, Dhar Mann. And therefore, I'll be elaborating today on why such a "good person" like him is considered one of my sworn enemies, and why I think you should consider him one too.

Many people, and especially parents, assume that Dhar Mann is a great influence on kids, and a friendly individual. And although for the most part; that can be true, but you need to look at the bigger picture.

"The Dhar Mann Effect" is what I like to call it. A serious, and contagious virus that even the most experienced and hard-working doctors can't find the cure to. "What does the Dhar Mann effect do?" ...You may be asking. Well, great question! The Dhar Mann effect is when you form an addiction and obsession to watching the supposedly "short films" made by no other than Dhar Mann himself. And I'm not talking about a little, silly obsession. I'm talking about serious addictions that can lead into binge watching video after video non-stop. Such things should be taken far way solemnly.

And the prime example is my younger sister. Among many of my Dhar Mann-obsessed friends, I'd say she's the worst case. It started out around 2 years ago, when their substitute teacher played a Dhar Mann video at class (since many students have requested it), and ever since, she got hooked. I knew then that there was no coming back, she reached the "no-return" point.

I'd go as far as saying that it's like drugs to her. She can't survive a day without watching at least 3 videos in one sitting. And yes, that includes re-watching or re-visiting older videos. Trust me, it's deeper than just a "So you see...". My sister can qualify as an iPad kid, now, if I had to say so. And even currently, as I'm writing this, I can hear Jay's voice, One of Dhar Mann's most popular actors— playing from her room. I feel like it's not the same, and those damages may be irreversible. My poor sister can't live her life to the fullest anymore. All she does is wait for the new Dhar Mann video. And while she waits for the next one, she just rewatches his old videos, making sure she knows all the lore.

This is not a "haha" joke, people. This is dead serious. No joke. I'm not crossing my fingers. I'm not what nowadays kids call "capping 🧢". I'm being genuine and I'm typing this with the straightest face ever.

Another issue I have with Dhar Mann is how threatening he appears to me. I can promise you that if you look long enough into his smile, you'll realise it's slightly unsettling. Did you notice his face almost always looks the same in every picture? Well, you're probably not trippin'. That's because he has that same smile in literally every picture I could find of him.

What are the chances he might be a robot? Ready for the day we all fall for his spell and none of us are safe anymore, so he can finally strike? There is something so terrifying about him. Every time I look at that smile, I can't help but shiver a bit of fear. But mostly, I'm quite intimidated by his disturbing behaviour. The way he never fails to stare dead into our souls. That's what I find strange.

But hold up, the theories don't stop... at least not yet! Did you notice the way Dhar Mann ends every single one of his videos with "Hey Dhar Mann fam!" ??? What are the chances that he refers to us as his fam (family) to hide the fact we're probably stuck in his basement? If we're talking lore-wise, I'd say the reason Dhar Mann calls us his fam is the following: We're all chilling at our homes, until one day... A Dhar Mann video comes to our recommendations. By watching the media, you're secretly agreeing to sign an invisible contract that gives ol' Dhar the ability to adopt you. Child or not. And just because you're now part of his fam, doesn't mean he can't trap you into the basement and lock you up with multiple of many victims. The only time he'll ever check on you is when he comes in the basement and greets you with "Hey Dhar Mann Fam!" While feeding you those meaningless videos.

I'll show you a couple of examples, and YOU tell me what these videos could possibly teach kids who barely know what photosynthesis is.

Now, be real, just for a moment, WHY IS THE SECOND VIDEO A GODDAMN SERIES????? ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT ITS A CASUAL THING THAT THE PROTAGONIST EXPERIENCES ON SIMPLE OCCASIONS TO GET JUMPED???

I think another weird part is that Dhar Mann featured another EXTREMELY popular YouTuber named "Mr. Beast" many, many times, but even then— he feels this need to pull out knock off Mr. Beast...ahem ahem....Mr. "feast"...??????

No joke. Just search up "Dhar Mann Mr. Feast" and count how many videos come up. But if you're so lazy to check, it's 4. yea. 4 DAMN VIDEOS ABOUT A MR BEAST RIP OFF. YOU GUYS NEED TO WAKE UP AND REALISE THIS IS A MAN WITH A WIFE AND 2 KIDS.

And back to square one, What's the moral meaning behind this media he displays for the youth?

Not Dhar Mann (a multi millionaire) copying the "NO CHICK-FIL-A SAUCE?" girl???? Smh...

So... Do you think Dhar Mann is really the innocent "moral philosopher" he claims himself as? Or is it deeper than a "Hey Dhar Mann Fam"?. But either way, that's it for today. Thank you all for listening to my Ted Talk.

SORRY GUYS IM HIGH ON VITAMIN GUMMIES (AGAIN) AND LIKE I DO THINK DHAR MANN IS MY SWORN ENEMY BUT LIKE YALL BETTER NOT TAKE THIS /SRS LMAOOOO🙏🙏🙏

[taweretsdagger]

"he walks among us, but is not one of us:" lost's tragic, (probably) autistic doctors

have been thinking about jack, juliet, and their relationship so much lately, inspired by so much good jack analysis from @eponine119 and @lost-inanotherlife, as well as @youmovedthenachos' discussion of viewing jack as autistic. the more i think about it the more i see this for both him and juliet.

i also think there are some specific differences in how the two behave which can be (at least partially) explained by how autism manifests/is interpreted depending on gender presentation and socialization, but in this post i'll stay focused on their similarities since i can already tell it's gonna be a long one!

both characters similarly display the following signs of autism: strong internal sense of justice (and disregard for social/institutional norms in favor of this), hyperfocus/competence in areas of interest, and a persistent sense of social isolation.

one of the reasons jack and juliet's relationship is so intriguing to me is that they project these traits onto each other, turning the other into a receptacle for the things they want for themselves but cannot bring about on their own. it's a tense, often unpleasant dynamic to watch--somewhat like two mirrors eerily reflecting back and forth into infinity. but the mutual understanding and mutual desire to heal beneath the surface of this tension keeps me hooked and rooting for them.

i'll start off by discussing two of these traits together (hyper-focus/competence and sense of justice/disregard for norms), since i think these are shown most clearly through their lives pre-island, while their social isolation is primarily shown to us on-island.

jack and juliet are doctors who are miraculously gifted in their respective fields, accomplishing medical feats which should be impossible. both sarah and rachel are in seemingly unrecoverable physical conditions which are reversed through jack and juliet's interventions, against all odds. ben and richard also become aware of juliet's prowess as a doctor/researcher due to her success impregnating a male field mouse.

we learn from juliet that jack graduated med school a year early, and i tend to believe that juliet might have done the same (or graduated college early/skipped a grade/etc.), considering that finishing med school at age 26 would leave her only 4 years before being recruited to the island in 2001.

so, we have two people who are near-prodigal in one specific area, but whose lives outside their work are something of a mess. they struggle with personal relationships, struggle to feel confident and secure in their abilities, and are easily influenced by nefarious actors (christian for jack, ed for juliet) who take advantage of their skill and their trusting nature. these dynamics definitely contribute to their sense of isolation/lack of belonging, which i'll come back to in a bit.

both of them also blur (at minimum) the doctor-patient relationship with personal relationships and interact with institutional rules as an afterthought, prioritizing what they personally feel is the right thing to do. juliet steals lab supplies on rachel's behalf (likely for months on end), while jack waffles on whether to turn in his father for operating while drunk, only deciding to do so once he learns that the patient who died as a result was pregnant.

it's a common misconception that the "autistic sense of justice" is part and parcel with a universally-keen moral compass, but in reality this "justice" gets doled out based on whatever specific biases the person possesses. jack's case illustrates this especially clearly; rather than turning in christian right away (because operating under the influence = immoral), he needs a reason to act which aligns with his personal moral code, which certainly has a good bit of misogyny baked into it.

ok, let's move to on-island, and discuss jack and juliet's social isolation and desire to belong, which relates to the title of this post (the translation of jack's tattoos, though n.b. that he does say this is "not what they mean").

it's common for autistic people to feel "alien" in the presence of other humans, and there's research showing that allistic people experience an uncanny valley effect within seconds of meeting an autistic person, due to micro-differences in behavior which are not picked up on consciously. this effect can also contribute to autistic people being susceptible to abuse, since abusers will quickly clock these traits and seek to use them to their advantage.

we are shown the relevance of jack's tattoo translation largely in the context of his (often reluctant) leadership position among the survivors, but it's interesting that juliet also describes in a therapy session with harper that the attention she receives from their society makes her feel isolated. it's significant to me as well that harper immediately interprets this discomfort as juliet being self-important/arrogant. this sort of misunderstanding is a common experience in autistic women in particular, and distinguishes her position among the others from jack's position among the survivors (again, more on this another time).

formation of societies/communities and what makes someone "one of them" vs. "one of us" is a recurring theme throughout the show, and i think that part of why jack defends juliet so adamantly to the survivors is due to the kinship he feels in their shared desire to belong and their incapability of experiencing this belonging. of course, this is tied up with the affection he feels for juliet due to her resemblance to sarah, as well as his stubborn (again, largely misogynistic) desire to "fix" or "save" her like he did sarah.

really, these motivations go hand in hand, and i'd argue that much of jack's compulsion to save juliet is a sign of the projection i described earlier. jack grew up lonely and abused, seemingly without any allies around the way juliet had an ally in rachel. correctly or not, he sees himself in juliet, and yearns to save her the way he wishes he himself had been saved.

jack's plan a = him and juliet escaping the island (and the forces oppressing them both) on the galaga, which is... ahem... foiled by locke (who--you guessed it! serves as a foil to both characters... in disparate ways... that can be viewed as a, uhh... foil-within-a-foil... buuuut that's another post for another day).

a tough break to be sure, but jack's hero complex perseveres. plan b = bringing juliet back to the beach camp, the place where jack kind-of-sort-of belongs, but not quite. this poses a new challenge, a new opportunity for projection. if jack can successfully integrate juliet--an other--into the survivors' camp and bring about belonging for her, then maybe he himself can finally feel that belonging, too.

another plot point worth mentioning here is the "pre-plan a" plan, or juliet's plea for jack to kill ben during surgery. i honestly have a tough time parsing out her exact motivations here (GOD i love juliet's villain era <3), but this can be read as a type of projection as well. juliet cannot save herself from ben, but she can project her desire to be saved onto jack, who has the specific skills needed to botch a complicated spinal surgery without anyone being the wiser.

to close out, we'll discuss the dynamic present in the survivors' camp at the end of season 3. this is one of my favorite stretches of episodes in the show, in part due to the brief gasp we get of jack's positive character growth before things begin to devolve for him at the start of season 4. i think the success he finds in his quest to secure belonging for juliet is a huge part of this growth being possible.

after juliet comes clean about ben's plot, the camaraderie jack waxed poetic about in his "live together, die alone" speech is finally realized. the survivors have managed to correctly assess an outsider as a threat and win her over into defecting from her previous loyalties. (in classic LOST fashion this all happens pretty messily, but regardless, it shows that the survivors have established a true, functional community.) as a result, jack feels more comfortable than ever stepping into the leadership role he's been grappling with for months.

with juliet at his side, he leads the group in mounting a defense against the others and evacuating the beach. we even see him willing to let go of his possessiveness over kate while still expressing his love for her, as he literally ascends to the radio tower. his people--his society, the place where he finally belongs, and, significantly, where juliet belongs--are right beside him.

from there, two things happen which topple us into the next phase of jack and juliet's relationship: first, juliet lies to jack about a gun cache so jack will let her and sawyer return to the beach (a descent, if you will, and i think it's significant that this is the first time we see sawyer and juliet interact amicably), and second, our old foil-friend locke comes out of the woodwork yet again--this time to kill naomi.

at this point, the differences between jack and juliet start to manifest, and from here on out their relationship will be dominated by these differences. they will continue to project their traits onto each other the way they did their similarities; however, rather than this projection culminating in a sense of shared belonging and communal purpose like it did in season 3, it turns more adversarial/destructive and contributes in part to both characters' tragic ends.

so, apart from their initial difficulty experiencing belonging, what do jack and juliet's relationship and on-island experiences have to do with autism? well, another hallmark of autism is a weak internal sense of self. many autistic people struggle to name their emotions, physical sensations, desires, etc., and instead rely on external inputs to identify these. in my view, this is the purpose jack and juliet's relationship serves for them--it beings about a "necessary other," through whom they can identify their own wants and needs.

when jack and juliet meet, they are both locked (LOCKED?) into roles they want out of (jack, literally, as a prisoner, with juliet as a captor trapped under ben's influence). both are desperate for someone to save, or for someone to save them. maybe a little of both. i wouldn't say they find healing in each other, exactly, but i think their relationship is a catalyst for what healing and growth they are able to find elsewhere, despite it also catalyzing their demise.

[pharawee]

As someone who kind of fell out of love with gmmtv shows and their branded pairs (through no fault of the actors) over the course of the past two years, I really had a lot of fun with the #gmmtv2025 line-up.

With gmmtv I'm usually more into their gen shows because they tend to be a bit more plot-heavy and genre-savvy but it seems like they've taken all of that and incorporated it into their QL line-up.

Which is the best news for me because there's nothing I love more than genre BL.

My favourites of the line-up were Melody of Secrets, Burnout Syndrome, Memoir of Rati, Ticket to Heaven and Only Friends 2, closely followed by Mu-Te-Luv, Wu, My Wedding Scammer, A Dog and a Plane and, uh... pretty much everything else.

Who knows when all of these will be made but I'm actually really excited about the whole line-up and what it means for Thai QL as a whole. Yes, the branded pair model seems to be stronger than ever (and for obvious marketing reasons) but if that's the price to pay for genre diversity then I'm all for it. I'm also reasonably sure that gmmtv branching out into streaming via iqiyi, netflix and gagaoolala really helped greenlight at least some of these projects (and I really wonder if WeTV's strong portfolio this year contributed as well - in a healthy competition kind of way).

I'll always be rooting for smaller companies and indie projects but damn, gmmtv, colour me impressed! Sure, some of the momentum of the individual pilots will probably be lost in actual production but that's pretty much always a given with how these things work.

And anyway, I'm happy as long as I get more Leng and Lego. 🙏