#i'll post the scraps later !!!!
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I love the way that, in addition to his origin story with his over-sized sword and the scar on his nose, the flashbacks to Guts's childhood show how much of his insane work ethic and reckless self-endangering abandonment in battle were all kinda ingrained into him by his craving for attention and approval from shitty father figure, Gambino.
Random nice mercenary guy: "Don't overexert yourself, kid. Just do what's needed. 'Cause if you die, you lose everything."
Gambino: "It's your first battle. Work hard!"
Guts: [throws himself into battle so hard he nearly dies multiple times, fixating on pleasing Gambino the entire time]
Gambino: "C'mon, hurry up! Work! Work!"
Guts: [gives Gambino his entire earnings, Gambino tosses him back a single coin]
Guts: [more motivated by this one mild bit of encouragement than anything he's ever experienced before in his life]
#it's difficult to post berserk meta because i feel like the manga is often so well-written and well put together#that every panel is important and it's hard to leave anything out - and i'll end up just reposting the entire chapter instead#like this is leaving out all the stuff before that leading up to this moment#where gambino is either neglectful or cruel to guts almost all the time - giving him the scar on his nose in a rage#yet also now and then tossing him a bone like giving him medicine for his wounds - and as minimal as that 'kindness' is#it's the only caring attention guts actually ever receives and he's so starved for it that it keeps him striving to earn more :(#and how the other members of the band don't like how gambino treats guts yet also do not step up to raise him themselves either#and whisper together about their resentment of him at night when he's left alone to fend for himself#AND then i am also leaving out the bits after that where gambino immediately goes and does the worst thing possible to guts too...#renting him to donavan... yet another awful formative experience for the kid#just constantly reinforcing to guts that he's got nobody but himself and his sword for his sense of protection and value and purpose#but showing that those tiny scraps of kindness and praise were basically keeping him alive and what he really wanted underneath too#it's just extremely well-done and so good at showing exactly why guts is the way that he is later on#and why when griffith started paying attention to him and valuing him as a person#in addition to putting him to work in the ways he was most familiar and comfortable with - it was basically like crack for him as well#berserk#berserk spoilers#p
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Since Barbatos is a glitched soul, he doesn't fully "exist" in all realities unlike others and if he dies in one, he will disappear in everyone of them. this is something all "sentient" version of him know though, trying to keep the peace between themselves.
however... that does not mean that it's all chocolate and rainbows. only gods know the number of ruined realities and non-existing places created by one to torture the self, or to keep one from killing himself.
#I'm going to make self-whump a thing. I mean we have selfcest so-#I'll be posting scraps of my lore and headcanons till I finish my first oneshot#om#obey me#obey me headcanons#obey me hcs#obey me barbatos#oh I have a lot of ideas about nb interacting with his own selves. unhinged little guy.#obey me shall we date#obey me nightbringer#obey me swd#obey me nb#yeah i may or may not delete it later idk.#Kizhu#ICBBH au
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!! House season 4 spoilers !!
Amber's death (and, more specifically, Wilson's reaction to it) absolutely fucking annihilated me. Like, you're telling me that the first person to ever treat him as an equal in a relationship, the first person to not only allow him to put himself first, but to expect and enforce that he do so, died in his arms??? Not only that, but he had to turn off the machines, had to watch, to feel as she let go of her last breath. And then, I am expected to watch as this grieving, wrecked man forces himself to claw away from his borderline abusive best friend who had been the only constant in his life for the last decade and a half?? Because even though he still loves House, he recognizes that House's presence is actively detrimental to his mental health and wellbeing. Because all Wilson has left of Amber is a lipstick stained mug on the counter, memories of a waterbed, and the will she instilled in him, the confidence she gifted him. And House counteracts that. Because House is a vacuum of misery and aggression and expectation, and Wilson could not possibly say no to him. Because Wilson will continue to give himself up for House, and that means he can't keep ahold of what Amber gave him. So Wilson has to walk away,,,
And the worst part? Wilson will come back. Every time he walks away, he comes running back because of MENTAL ILLNESS.THEYRE GAY!!!
In my perfect world, Wilson and Amber ran away together, and House is only allowed supervised weekend visitation rights.
#house md#hate crimes md#gregory house#james wilson#amber volakis#god i could talk about this for HOURS#they make me ILL#lets be so fr this is just a reupload of a caption on a tiktok i made in like feburary#also follow me on tiktok @8igiron hashtag always be plugging#im still right tho#crucify me for it but i am so right#i will be making more posts about them bc i have free time now and they make me ill#tune in next time for when i talk about why the perfect analogy for them is as follows:#wilson is to house what a vulture is to roadkill#tldr: SCRAPS#i'll get into it later#god and the dog metaphors i got on hand for them..#later... later.
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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Lethal Company (Video Game) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Bracken | Flower Man (Lethal Company) & Reader Characters: Reader, Bracken | Flower Man (Lethal Company), Employees (Lethal Company) Additional Tags: inspired by a tumblr post, Unusual monster behavior, Horror, somber, Hurt/Comfort, Giving Up, I'm back on my bullshit (positive), lethal company is not immune to my tropes, being hunted by the Bracken is terrifying and that's why I love them, ambiguous ending Summary:
You're alone in the abanonded darkness, aimlessly searching, when it finds you. There's hands around your neck, and you know there's no use in fighting them.
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*whips*
Hey guess who's not dead (and went to therapy!)
#post#fanfic#fanfiction#ao3#lethal company#lethal company fanfic#bracken#reader insert#gender neutral reader#comfort in monsters#here's something more akin to what I usually write (lol)#i'll post the scrapped scenes from it later today (probably)#(or tomorrow if I forget)#this fic is for hug enjoyers :)#the depression variation to the anxiety flavoured one I'll (hopefully) write later
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Don't tell my fat ass to stop eating!! Cook more!!!!!!
I am trying 😔
#ngl I'm stressing myself out with all this haha#mainly cause I'd have an idea for a prompt and would try to do it#bit then realize I'm not so good at comics#so I scrap the entire thing and try to sum up everything in one image and it's not as good as I wanted it to be#but I'm too tired to do anything cause it's like 3am or something#I actually got to sleep in today. slept for 10 hours I think#it's double the amount I usually do and I'm still so tired it's crazy dude#anyway stupid rant#I'll try to post more art later I just gotta write out a 10 page essay for Monday haha#my art#asks#your boyfriend game#yb fandom#yb peter#yb game#why re there sm yb tags#peter dunbar
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For today's Rise August post, I initially drew Mikey holding a puppy. I changed it to him holding some tiny unicorns instead, because I could position him to better mimic the way Splinter was holding baby Leo.
But I do still think Mikey holding a puppy is pretty cute, so here's that unfinished sketch!
(Can anyone explain to my why, out of all the turtles, I still consistently find Mikey the hardest to draw? Despite him having the simplest design? It makes no sense, but I guess it is what it is)
#rottmnt#my post#alt text#tagging this as “my art” feels wrong because it's a scrapped drawing#wip#my wip#I guess that fits better? idk.#maybe I'll figure out a better tag for that kinda stuff later if I end up posting more of it
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very productive 2day
#my stuff#triangletrianglesquare#music#originals#i'll post the fansong later. or when i remember to idk#its whatever#this had lyrics but i ended up scrapping them cos they sucked#may or may not have exported this wrong. i've exp it so many times omg im not opening the file again#this one I made in like 2 days and I only like the last few seconds. started it when i was freaking out abt something stupid#*last few seconds of the song not the silence. you probably knew that already but just in case
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Just woke up and i'm very cold and bored
Kinda wanna do some art but i'm not really sure what to draw tho 🧍🏻♀️
#only got around 1-2ish hours of sleep so uhhh ig it's just gonna be one of those days today#anyway...art! idk what to draw! :[#hmmm maybe i'll draw my inkling doing something stupid#that or uhhh maybe pull something from my wip/scraps folder#whether i'll post something later or hate it and trash it we'll see
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my 16 year old self has escaped from the recesses of my soul and is losing it over persona 3 again
#i stumbled upon on reload screenshots on pinterest and god#the game looks so beautiful all of the new character sprites and models look stunning#i'm currently rattling the bars on my cage and begging atlus release kotone from non-canon hell already#i will say that if they add her to reload later on i'm praying they change ken's social link to be platonic that shit's weird#like they could always flesh out her social link w/ hidetoshi instead ( or give us the scrapped junpei ending i'd love that )#maybe i'll cave one day and buy reload if kotone doesn't get added but i'm petty >>>#& still annoyed that atlus refuses to put respect on her name#anyways the things that spurred this post is getting to see ryoji's in-game model it looks so cute 😭#mj.txt
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printed-out private fanfic collections my beloved
#that's it. that's the post#do I sometimes feel guilty for having a bunch of fic printed out? yeah. idk if it's morally grey or wrong or ok these days#it started out as necessity because I didn't have a computer of my own and reading queer fic wasn't sth you could be too open about#(though I guess using up my dad's scrap paper piles that had math equations on one side may not have been the most inconspicuous)#anyway. sometimes I'll remember a story and I know I will be able to find it because my idiot teen self printed it out and filed it away#and sometimes it turns out you can't find that fic on ao3 because it's ffnet only. and worse sometimes it no longer exists online at all#and that makes me sad. but knowing someone deleted it and I still have a bootleg copy makes me feel guilty#so I guess I'm just stuck in this dual state#I think it beats the lingering sadness of wanting to reread a very specific story that's ingrained in your very being..#..and finding there is not a trace of it anywhere online#like. I KNOW that I read a Myka/Claudia story that had them holed up in a cabin somewhere hiding from some terrifying dude of sorts#(not that I remember the details) I just remember there being a lake and it being the story that got me into WH13#which.. was a fucking blessing. and I searched all of the place for that story years later#went through most of the Myka/Claudia fic and yet never found it again. and nobody I asked remembered it either#so maybe I dreamed it up? but I kinda doubt it. ANYWAY sometimes a fic filed away in an old folder is what saves your sanity
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antony lewis sometimes i could kiss you right on the mouth.
#my parasocial relationship with the guy who designed my crossword software continues apace#shoutout to antony lewis for including a feature that is going to solve the problem i have been scratching my head over for#the last month#being like 'oh i'll figure out how to make that work later' and now it's later. it's been later for over a week#well he has my back with this little feature i've never used before but have seen in the settings before and been like#oh sounds interesting#and it turns out to do exactly what it sounds like it would do#which is fortunate for me because otherwise i might have had to scrap this crossword that i already spent several hours on#and which is a week overdue lol#hence. the mouth kissing#cruciverbs#my posts
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a timeline: season 4 volume 1
stranger things 4x02 // why be happy when you could be normal (jeanette winterson) // all this love (destroy boys) // trista mateer // @/wehadnoidea // the last picture show (larry mcmurty) // stranger things 4x03 // letters to felice (franz kafka) // stranger things 4x04 // infinity room (beach bunny) // sue zhao // carnet de voyage (craig thompson) // things I would say if I wasn't so afraid (sue zhao) // deadweight (beach bunny) // heart like yours (willamette stone) // stranger things script "Dear, Billy" // stranger things 4x05 // the retribution of mara dyer (michelle hodkin) // pleaser (wallows)
#i'll post the scraps later !!!!#byler#stranger things#mike wheeler#will byers#s4 stranger things#stranger things s4#jay's queue
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Month 5, day 24, if you couldn't tell by my unhinged reblogging/rambling earlier, I beat In Tanta We Trust and I have THOUGHTS™ and FEELINGS© about it XD
I also, uh, kinda sorta forgot to eat? So I had to do art tonight that left me at least one hand free to shovel fettuccine alfredo with chicken and broccoli into my face hole. And I liked this shot that I took while playing tonight, so I thought I'd edit it! The raw image is below the cut, as usual~
#the great artscapade of 2023#art#my art#digital photo editing#photo edit#forspoken photo edit#digital photography#virtual photography#game photography#video game photography#in tanta we trust#no spoilers in this so not tagging it as such#I am FASCINATED by the designs in this game#by which I mean Forspoken as a whole includig DLC XD#it's just... it's so good#I'll ramble about it later in a post that's properly tagged#but that won't be tonight#tonight I have twelve minutes before bedtime and I want to get some thoughts organized for fanfiction purposes#if I'm going to un-scrap everything I scrapped I'm going to flip my whole entire goddamn shit#in a good way :D#I'm so happy y'all
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alrighty, i got some things in the queue, and though it wasn't all of my handwritten drafts, it's still progress!! and it feels really nice after not writing interactions for a minute there :' ) i'll try to get more done tomorrow after class, but until then, pls have a very lovely night/day <3
#i think i'm scrapping some of the stuff i wrote bc i wrote some starters and they're just not good i'll be honest#clearly i was lacking in ideas when i wrote them and i'm not gonna post them and expect people to answer#when i know good and well i'd struggle to think of a reply myself asdfg#we'll try again later with the starters uvu#alrighty good night!! i'm gonna go pass out now!! mwah mwah <3#get ready to ramble | ooc
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Happy to know I have not been exaggerating the Jingliu/Yanqing parallels for two months
#The short was visually stunning#I told Snow not long ago that the short... poem? about Lan in that one video#was very similar to Blade's own evolution as described in the relics and his character story#This short with Jingliu and Yanqing made me think of it too and reflecting on it a bit again‚#about what we know of Jingliu and her own character story‚ I think the poem fits her well too#I really love the Jingliu/Blade parallels and the Jingliu/Yanqing ones and how the Jingliu/Blade/Yanqing iteration works a lot#As well as how that all must sit on Jing Yuan. Literally among my favourite things in the game thus far storywise#But I'll stop before I start rambling again#I'm going to quote the poem I mention#Although perhaps I should post is separately and save it under the 'Traces' and 'Fragments and scraps' tags#'In the first 10.000 years‚ the hunters struggle for survival / In the second 10.000 years‚ the hunters fight out of anger /#In the third 10.000 years‚ the hunt becomes a purpose in of itself'#I talk too much#Traces#Fragments and scraps#Just to remember to save later if I decide to do so
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In War of the Realms, during the final battle on the earth with Laufey, Daredevil threw Hofund down Laufey's throat only to let Loki use the sword to cut out of Laufey's stomach, saving himself and killing the king frost giant. Do you think this is a great FrostDevil moment? Like with his all-seeing power, Matt knew Loki was inside Laufey and still alive. And he could trust Loki to hold the sword and break out to win the battle?
Hello, thank you so much for this ask bc I didn't know about this comic! So I spent today reading War of the Realms! I've saved some images from it and I have thoughts I'll share later. For now I'll just include this bit after Matt threw the sword for Laufey to swallow:
He's smiling because he knows that Loki's alive and is gonna get the sword. it makes me so happy :')
#Loki#matt murdock#daredevil#loki odinson#marvel#frostdevil#love this non-interaction interaction between my otp#i love some fucking scraps i will eat them up so eagerly#like ok they're not talking to each other but they're (or at least Matt is) ✨ A W A R E ✨ of each other#oh my god they were aware of each other#i am forcibly reminded of the time i aggressively saved the panels of my naruto otp (who never interacted) standing next to each other#i gotta go like eat? food? so i can't write as much as i want to rn i'll come back later with a long post about this
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