#i'll go do that teehee
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The Reason You Might Be Feeling Awful And Experiencing Issues Standing+Walking Around Is Because 1. YOU ARE SICK and 2. YOU ATE A MUFFIN AND A PIZZA YESTERDAY. And a slice of bread.
#i really need to eat better aughh#sigh. i want spam...#i reaaally dont wanna eat anything because itll take time to make things but i dont wanna eat snacks#if anything i'll snaggle some crackers because atleast its not muffins#augh....#i could also bring some gum with me!#i'll go do that teehee
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based on tt vid i saw earlier lmao
#the goal for this was just to draw doodlebob soap again since it's been a while (so yeah this is for practice)#but ngl i do want some tacos rn.. or a burrito..#cheese jalapeno quesadillas from that one resto we go to... gOD I NEED SOME RN#i'll probably beg my aunt next time the fam goes out TEEHEE#my art#2024#call of duty#soap cod#cod#johnny soap mactavish#soap mactavish#art#fanart#digital art#digital drawing#sketch#doodle#video games
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I never stop thinking about them.
SEND ME ART REQUESTS BOY
#yeah this is basically an art dump#just a bunch of miscellaneous doodles#that last one is from when I first made the au. I do like. basically doodle sheets. if you understand#there's a bunch of other stuff that I marked out that's why there's a bunch of empty space at the top#if you recognize the individual things from it. no you don't.#god for some reason I think I'm fucking ALLERGIC to using reference. of like any kind#the only one I used anyreference for was the. snowball one which was a pose#also btw I'm trying to break out of a bit of art block teehee#anyways.#spenxer lou art#lou is an artist#fma au#I need to make an actual tag for this au but I'll do it later. when I pin down a name#I really like tongued alchemist. . . it's funny#roleswap au#fma#fmab#fullmetal alchemist#fullmetal alchemist brotherhood#alphonse elric#edward elric#traditional art#writhes around on the floor#I have a short comic idea for Ed. because I like making them talk about their feelings sometimes#but Idk if I wanna do it rn. . .we'll see#it's been on my mind#AUUAGHHUHUH Also I lost. my favorite mechanical pencil at a waffle house#I'm so fucking sad about it#I'm going to the craft store tomorrow tho so. fingers crossed#I think. I can stop now. falls to the floor and rolls away like a log
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I was about to say that I'm going to feed you guys once a week bc I have a big thing to draw and I still have to not be kicked out of college....
But then I remembered that new life series sooner then I think......
Oh no....
#melousblahblah#im scared#im happy and all but holy shit my life is packed and now i have to also add this thing#bc i won't let it go GUYS I'M AUTISTIC I CAN'T GO BACK#ok silly fact that no one will see#but my therapist said that i don't have adhd or autism#and the same day i cried out of excitement bc i found life series wiki snd thry have all and everything summarised and organised#to be fair#that therapist said that people cant have adhd and autism at the same time and specially cant have depression#imagine lmao#sorry for this little rant#i mean#its my blog so eh its alr ig#if i feel like i need to make a different personal one I'll do it one day#but not today#rn its everything so teehee <3
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sorry for only saying this type of shit lately but i kinda wanna drive a car straight into a brick wall at the highest speed possible
#trying to keep it together so bad because i already know the problems and solutions and whatnot but i cannot do anything#i desperately just need to do something. accomplish any task. actually several would be nice. but i cannot stand just letting life go by#while i watch other people have the things i want. or even metaphorically living my dream like. that should be me why am i settling for thi#i hate even talking about this because i feel so stupid when i know it's not even a real tangible problem and that i actually DO have real#problems to tackle and the ability to do so but i'm choosing to be upset over the stupidest things i could possibly be sad about#and i can't even be sad about it in a normal way i'm cycling through like several different reactions to smth that isn't even real#or if it is real i literally do not have tanglible evidence for it one way or another like i'm driving myself insane for no reason#i can't even get catharsis because all i'm doing is digging a deeper hole for something i never should've gone back into in the first place#because i KNOW how i am i KNOW how i react to things and i still chose to do it lmao.#and i continue to choose to go through this shit instead of actively trying to change my life because... i'm lazy? and stupid? idk#negative self-talk isn't gonna get me to do anything either so let's just say i'm feeling particularly unmotivated like usual#i hated being a teenager but i really do miss when all my problems just amounted to 'someone was mean to me on tumblr today :(' or i failed#a test in chemistry or something. like i yearn for that simplicity becasue at this point all i'm doing is ruining my own life LMAO#i'm too scared to live i'm too scared to die so i just sit here and fantasize that life could be amazing if i wait#and i'll magically get everything i've ever wanted if i just wait long enough. and i know it isn't true and i still wait for it to happen.#because honestly like. i think deep down i am just convinced i will fail at anything i do when that shouldn't be what scares me.#what scares me should be never even allowing myself to fail because i never tried to do anything at all with myself or my life#like. wake the fuck up. get off your ass and put in the effort. learn some skills. gain independence and stability and discipline and do it#just live please i'm begging you just live so i can be happy don't i deserve to be happy... why am i not letting myself be happy#i'm literally keeping myself trapped in this negative feedback loop ON PURPOSE because teehee shiny toy#and it doesn't matter if the love is real it doesn't matter how i feel like i'm just using it as a distraction i can't say it's motivation#because it's barely motivated me at all. i have to start being realistic. 25 & just realizing you actually have to participate in your life#anyways. i've cried i've agonized i've pictured killing myself in 30 different ways. i think the only way i'm gonna feel better is#to just actually try this time without giving up. wish me luck
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apollo had to have seen phoenix and kristoph together during the time he worked for gavin law offices and even if he wasn't fully aware of the extent of what was going on he's not completely oblivious, so I do think during turnabout trump he was probably stood behind the bench thinking "wow this must have been one messy break up"
#ace attorney#apollo justice#krisnix#like I think they would have wanted to keep their gay little thing on the dl#but that's not to say I don't think phoenix would have shown up at the office unannounced in the middle of a work day#phoenix (walking into the office with no greeting): kris I left my coat at your place last night. I need your keys to go get it#kris: well no?#phoenix: okay I'll come over after you finish up here teehee#apollo (trying to do his fucking paperwork): what
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It's just me and my plush carrot against the world
#and the world is internship applications#🤓posting#<- technically school bc I'm doing it for an assignment#I will actually submit the last one I made#but this one... idk#it's for a technical writing internship which IS what I want to go into#but it seems soooo boring and not like a good work environment lol#architecture............ 😰 all of my coworkers will be old men aaah#not to stereotype I mean. but like#also the first word they use to describe their company in the job posting is 'aggressive' UMM????#does not sound as fun as lit publishing..#but ig I'll apply for it just in case#also they pay really well for an internship so teehee
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Hii!! I was wondering if you were the one who made the TMNT Mikey animatic to the song blue hair on YouTube?(I think? If you didn't my apologies 😅 )If you did! I wanted you to know that it is my favorite animation ever!! and has made me cry multiple times,it's so so so good anyway thats all,love your art<3
Hii!! This is CRAZY I truly got full whiplash from this but yes that was me! I'm so glad to hear you liked it!! That video is still my pride and joy when it comes to animatics, I have no idea where I got the drive to both color it and animate some parts from. Apologies for making you cry and further apologies for how proud I am to have made you cry. Thank you for taking the time to drop this in my inbox this absolutely made my day (and it's Christmas so that's saying a lot) Take care!! <33
In honor of the animatic I leave you with this
#asks#I'M ACTUALLY SO TOUCHED IT'S YOUR FAVORITE THAT'S SO GJDBNBV#also i love your art too!! i saw the grudge match drawing earlier and meant to rb but got sidetracked by irl activities#so I'll go do that now teehee
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whshdfhfjf.,,,
#close up!! because i firstly Did Not render them with such insanity in order for tumblr's lack of general resolution to make it blur#look at all the lines!!! teehee i still really really like this style of digital painting it's super super fun to do!!! and also secondly#because i went back and added a tag ramble and as i seem to often be doing??? lately?? reached the 30 tag limit and went 'hm ok how else..'#anyway the tag essay on that one is now up and talks about the artwork generally and miscellaneous thoughts!! that said. i need a space to#ramble about beatrix at Length because look you don't draw and paint etc a character for like ten hours without having a lot of thoughts#anyways ! i digress terrifically. tag rambles are more like trains of thoughts masquerading as subways and you get on and it's unfortunately#a rollercoaster track. but this is My Blog and i can do Whatever I Want as long as i don't hurt anyone <- affirmations!! also Harm Principle#lately it's been like *kicks up feet* *opens tumblr tags* *treats it as own personal journal* and tbh Good for me!! anyways back to beatrix#fun fact ! the thing that pushed me over the edge to go watch the musical after looking through the tumblr tag was a very specific poll.#and the fact that the winning option was blue hair and pronouns made me double over laughing so hard i had to go see the source material#mm i feel like lately the academic Context has been tossing me essentially into a blender HAHA ;-; so everyone in adamandi is to some extent#a Mood. but bea-specific (haha be specific)(sorry!)(wow this is the same reaction mechanism of my friend who points out innuendos)(...)#i think it's the wanting to prove herself. like from the whole abuela etc thing there's proof here she's got a Stable Support System of sort#and instead what beatrix continues to do is push themselves. 'i guess u could say i'm married to my work? god that's depressing' // no one#here to enforce that // abuela tells me to rest says i'm constantly stressed and i'll just get depressed like before but i still have to try#like. that shred of desperation that pushes you to the brink to neglect yourself (well i guess physically but also your morals..) and like!!#the whole 'lose half your soul thing' proves she's self aware!! like they know what they're doing is super dubious yknow! but they're still#they're still doing it even if it goes into conflict with their morality system in a way and then they justify it to themselves (see pt 1#of ghostwriter) and the whole wanting to achieve at all costs Despite the self awareness. (i think? this aspect also applied to quincy. but#thoughts on him will come later). more beatrix specific also is the fact that they genuinely adore their work.. 'i just love it here where#you know they'll be printing forever and you are just part of it' because that does kind of resonate with me. also the being behind in the#competition is real!!! i'm maybe talking about Art as a subject because that same drive for it exists on my good days i think. even#even when nothing seems to be going right and you've ended up at the back the intent passion inherent in what you do is still there!!!#the genuine. care she has for reporting. is so !!!!! to me... other beatrix thoughts include 'why reveal yourself at the end' aka vincent's#'u should have stayed silent u had a smart plan' like rip to them but i would not // it feels with bea's complex character i can't imagine h#her Not doing that. like the guilt is real i guess. and i am running out of tags but! smth also about her fervent hope or smth that she'll#eventually get to where she wants. and the resilient determination.. 'i won't let their deaths be pointless there's more good i'm gonna do'#they're so so real for that. i'm not sure if it's a good or bad thing; seeing myself reflected in aspects of characters like this.. but it's#it's there regardless. smth smth just make your peace with the person you are ig!! tldr beatrix campbell my beloved. hehe#adamandi
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I WANT SHADOWHEART SO BAD BUT OMG KARLACH AS WELL THEY'RE BOTH SO AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
#baldur's gate 3#karlach#shadowheart#bg3#I'll most likely do both with different characters but my god#I'll probably do my karlach romance and go teehee shadowheart whenever she speaks#And then same thing when I romance shadowheart like I'll see karlach and go teehee hiiii when she just looks at me oOf
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[ HONKS HORN ] GET IN LOSERS WE'RE GOING FANFIC READING !!!!!!! " OPERATION: STEAK CUTS ! " CHAPTER 4 IS OUT NOW , and this one is a bit different from the usual happy-go-lucky plots ive shown so far , I hope u all enjoy ^__^
#botbots tag 🏪#operation steak cuts#burgerbonz#transformers botbots#botbots#tf botbots#transformers#wattpad fanfiction#maccadam#transformers fanfiction#im SO excited to have this one done omg the next chapter's gonna be so good to write#sorry this one took 4 ever btw . i got vaught up in studies and im prepping 4 my birthday + we went on a vacay trip#and ive had like 2 other projects im doing on the side so i have like . very little time / energy to write. and i have adhd#but i'll be damned i did good w/ this one#anyways DONT JUST STAND THERE. GO GO GO READ IT#there's fun surprises like last time teehee
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also my inbox is fr a warzone rn i'm SO behind on like ~50 asks </3 itching to get back, just been trying to focus on actual fic writing when i get in a rare productive swing instead of hrs of drabbling and brainrot lmfaooo but i'll clear up a whole evening eventually to sit down and go thru a ton of them!
#or maybe i'll secretly do that one evening and queue up a shit ton of drabble responses to go up every 30 min teehee#who knows it's always a guessing game w my focus levels#speaking of not to irl–post but i am 2 weeks into new adhd meds and feeling FRIED and it's affecting my writing productivity#so that's my disclaimer/excuse for my lack of posts tbh bc i feel like everything i am writing lately is so lackluster/uninspired#so i don't wanna put out half–assed drabbles when i have so many Thoughts and Feelings about each ask that i wanna put into proper words!!#i'm saving them for when little bursts of inspo break thru the new med brain fog u feel me#and aside from that. slowly slowly working my way thru the (now confirmed: chaptered yikes) dog coded fic <3 slowly but surely anyway ^-^#point is: i am so eager to respond/brainrot to all the ideas in my inbox i don't want u askers to think i am overwhelmed or ignoring asks#just fighting thru tha brain fog such is life we move#johnslittlespoon yaps
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So do I just post doodles instead of posting anything???
#what- DOODLES?#OUT OF ALL THE TALENTS I CAN POST ON TUMBLR.#DOODLES IS WHAT YOU GUYS WANT#I'll post doodles#but they arent all going to be sigverse related :3#anyways#basic tags:#doodles#sillyposting#:3 teehee idk what im doing#i think im going insane#artists on tumblr#homestuck
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Daydreaming about having a car...what am I gonna do with it first...well if I actually do get my car on the 30th then the first thing I'll do is drive myself home with it... then the second thing I'll do is drive myself to my gynecologist appointment lol bc that's on that Monday
But AFTER THAT.......
Maybe I'll go to the mall and buy myself some new pants. Clothes shopping. Yes.
#speculation nation#daydreaming about being able to just go places and do things#i have such limited pants bcus i cant easily go to clothes stores.#but maybe i can do a shopping run.. get myself some fucking clothes.. you know...#and after that... hmm.... i dont know actually#i'll think of something. by then my semester will be basically over so i will have more freedom to do things.#i should pick things out and do them. wanna have fun. wanna thrive with my new ability to drive.#it also depends on how the weather is tho lol. if it's snowy then Uhhhh yeah im not fucking with that unless i have to.#i'll have to get snow practice eventually but xoxoxo im still scared of driving so i will avoid it as much as i can. teehee.
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"Starting the shitty exes club. No we were never actually together, shut up."
#one more bc I think it's a lil funny#but now I'll shut up I promise (bc I am going out to egt drinks teehee)#rip to u for never fucking ur best friend who u didn't really think about doing that with anyways#but would've if she asked bc u like loved her or whatever. but not like that. but it could be </3#Queen of the beasts | IC
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omg how cool! i've been to paris but never on my own, have fun!!!
thank you :D
i've never been so i'm super excited!! (i was supposed to go in April 2020. but. um... well we all know what happened in 2020 LOL. but it's definitely a blessing in disguise because now that i'm into ml i'll very much appreciate it more 😌)
#ask response#chatnia-starlight#i'm also going to london and a city in belgium but i think i am most excited by far about paris XD#just going to be imagining the blorbos everywhere teehee#but uh... i'll probably do that in the other places too since i do that everywhere... hahahahaha
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