#i'll get better and i do really enjoy it it's just that this needs like. a month of editing
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Farmer!Ghost x Female!Reader
Arhtur's Note: I apologize for taking so long to post this everyone. It takes a while for me to find a good story to it and I was busy helping out with my family and work. So I hope this is worth the wait. Let me know if I miss anything or which part that doesn't make sense and I'll re-edit quickly! Thank you so much for your patience! And also, I have added the names of you guys having two friends. Just in case you get mixed if you thought they were part of the COD universe. Thank you! And enjoy!
Words: 3376
Halloween is tonight and everyone in town is busy preparing for this fun event. The mayor in town had already planned on making the best Halloween Festival YET!
There will be some foods, drinks, games, fun rides-
EVERYTHING that is on the list. And you were quite excited!
You even volunteered to help out with the food vendor. Along with your friends as well.
You were in charge of the food as you made sure that the orders will be delivered on that exact date in time. And you also offered your own cooking and baking for the little kids. The leaders of the committees agreed to it and will send someone to deliver EVERYTHING that you needed for the food preparation.
Which you don’t mind. So you and your friends are at the big hall, in the kitchen, busy cooking.
“This is SO exciting!” One of your friends said in a chirpy tone while putting the pans of cupcakes and a pan of cake into the oven. “This will be the BEST festival yet!”
The other friend of yours nodded as she agreed. “Yeah! And hopefully it’ll be better than LAST year.”
You just smiled at your two friends, who are named Rebecca and Sally, talking about the festival. You started to cook some nice meals for the special events before giving a taste test.
“Hey, what are you gonna wear for Halloween? I’m going to be that sexy vampire!”
“Mine is just being a witch. I’m also bringing that big cauldron for apple bobbing!”
You gave them a smile before hearing them asking you what you’re going to wear. You shook your head as you went back to cooking. “I don’t have anything to wear for the festival. Just casual clothes.”
“WHAT?!?” The two friends of yours had made that horror expression as if they received the news of someone DYING.
Rebecca had started to walk over to you as she stood next to you. “What do you mean you have nothing to wear for the festival? Come on! It’ll be so cool and cute of you wearing SOMETHING!”
You just shrugged at them. “I wanted to. Really. But to tell you the truth. I didn’t have time to look for one. I was SO busy getting everything ready before tonight. So for this year only, I’m not gonna wear anything.”
The two best friends looked at each other before looking back at you with an unsatisfying look.
Sally had walked up towards you before gently taking your cooking ware away from your hands. Which you looked at her with a confusing look.
“Girl! You can’t just leave us hanging with the costume! We’ll help you to get one!”
The other one nodded with agreement as she smiled at you. “Yeah! You can worry about the food while the two of us find you a GOOD looking outfit!”
You shook your head as a small smile appeared on your lips. “No no no. It’s okay. I’ll just pass this year. Promise. I know how much you girls wanted all of us three dressing up! But please understand that I’ve been busy preparing all of this.”
The two girls pouted but sigh in defeat when you bring up your reason.
Rebecca shrugged a bit. “Fine. But NEXT year, if you’re busy then let us know. We can help you pick your outfit!”
Sally nodded in agreement. “Yes! Promise us that!”
You just giggled but agreed with the girls. “Promise!”
While the three of you continued cooking and baking, you heard a knock from the entrance in the front door.
“Special delivery!” A heavy Scottish accent called out through the door.
You walked over to open it and saw it was a young man. He seems to look like in his late 20s and has a mohawk on his head. Wait, a mohawk?
“Good day to ye, lass! Here to drop off these boxes of flour, butter, some seasoning and some fruits? Are you the one who orderit?” He asked with a genuine smile as you smiled back at him.
You nodded in response before stepping aside. “Yes! You can go ahead, bring it in and head to the back. The kitchen is right in there.”
He nodded before walking in. And then you saw someone else followed behind him with another box in hand. Another young man who has a cap on his head with a UK flag on it. He also looks like in his late 20s. The man gave his charming smile to you as he nodded in greetings.
“Ma’am.”
You smiled and nodded back before watching him following the man who was in front.
And then to your surprise, you saw another man. A man who is taller than the first two that came in. A brown short hair, with brown eyes and is also wearing a black mask covering his mouth and nose. He looked down on you, seeing you with quite a surprising look.
“Madame.” His deep British accent had softly gone through your ears. As you weren’t expecting to hear that kind of tone.
You slowly nodded at him and watched him pass by as he followed the other two into the kitchen. You quickly follow as well before peeking inside to see your two best friends are talking with the two boys. It seems like that man with a mohawk was flirting with Sally while the man in the cap was just talking with Rebecca.
You just smiled a bit to see them getting along so quickly. So you stepped inside as you saw the tall man putting the boxes down on the floor. You were staring at him for a bit as you took a good look at him.
He stood up and looked at his buddies as he started to tell them to stop flirting.
You smiled a bit to see the two boys were just being embarrassed of how that dark brown hair man was calling them off. Before you noticed him looking in your way.
“Sorry ‘bout those two. They can be VERY addicted to seeing pretty ladies. Mostly my very dumb friend named Johnny over there.” He said as he pointed at the guy with a mohawk behind him.
You giggled to hear the mohawk man calling out to him.
“OI! I am NOT dumb!”
“You are. With your LAME pick up line.”
“Like you can do any better, Si?”
“I can do 10 times BETTER than your corny ass line.”
You couldn’t help but giggle so much and even your two friends also started giggling and laughing with you. While the man with the cap just sighs and shakes his head before walking over to stop the two.
“Hey hey hey! Not in front of the ladies. That’s a very bad first impression AND bad luck, you know?” He turned to face you and your friends as he started to rub behind his head. “Apologies ladies, we’ll be heading out now.”
Rebecca looked saddened all of a sudden when he said that. “Aaaaw…already?”
He smiled a bit at her and nodded. “Yeah. We still got more deliveries to take care of.”
The two girls looked sad to hear that they’re going to leave. Until that man named Johnny had an idea.
“Hey! I know that we just met. But the boys and I are free tonight. Do you want to join us?”
You glanced to see the girls were looking excited as you smiled a bit. So you looked at him and shook your head. “Sorry. I’m a bit busy tonight since I’ll be serving the food.” Then you started to walk towards your girlfriends as you placed both of your arms around their shoulders each. “Buuuuuuuut my friends are available tonight. Right girls?”
The two ladies looked at you in shock as you had lost your MIND.
“Uuuh…WHAT are you doing?” Sally whispers to you.
“Yeah, don’t you need our help? There will be LOTS of people coming to your booth.” Rebecca also whispered to you as she agreed with her friend.
Which she is not wrong. Yes, there will be BUNCH of people coming over for food but you handle this before. You're sure that you’re okay with this and it is fine for your two friends to have some fun!
So you started to whisper to them back. “Don’t worry! I got this! You two can go ahead and CHARM your way with these boys while I’ll handle the booth.” You gave them a reassuring smile and a wink. “I’ll be fine. Promise.”
The two girls looked at each other again but with more worried looks on their faces. As they could see your warm smile, telling them that it’s alright, they finally gave in and turned to look at the boys.
“Yeah! We’re available!” Sally said as she smiled at Johnny.
The mohawk man smiled at her with glee. “Awesome! We’ll see you tonight at…?”
You raised your hand a bit. “Our booth will be next to the Ferris Wheel! You’ll meet them there!”
The man with the cap nodded and smiled at them. “Alright then, we’ll be there and…are you sure you don’t want to come?” He asked you as you can see that he’s feeling a bit bad.
You nodded as you gave him a thumbs up. “Sure I’m sure! Someone HAS to take care of the food booth!”
He smiled a bit as he nodded and tipped his cap. “Alright then and also, I apologize for not introducing ourselves. I’m Kyle. Kyle Garrick. But most of them call me Gaz.” Then he put his arm around his friend’s shoulders before patting his chest. “This is John MacTavish.”
He nodded at you and the girls. “You can call me, Soap.”
Sally snickered when she heard that name. “Soap? Why do they call you that?”
“Aye, cause I cleaned up nicely.” He said with a wink.
“Not with your room you’re not.” The tall man with the mask had said while rolling his eyes.
“OI! WHY DO YOU ALWAYS CRITICIZE ME WHENEVER I TRY TO TALK TO A LASS?!?”
“Just trying to save her from going out with a dumb Scots like you.”
“WHO ARE YOU CALLING DUMB?!?”
Everyone started to laugh before settling down as the girls introduced themselves to them before exchanging phone numbers with the two boys. But your eyes had caught onto the tall man who was just looking at the four.
You slowly crossed your arms while rocking back and forth a little on your feet. Before looking at him. “So um…what’s YOUR name?”
He glanced down at you. Looking at you for a good minute before he looked back at his friends and yours. “Simon. Simon Riley.”
“Are you also dressing up for tonight?”
He shook his head. “Not into these Halloween things. Just want to walk around the festival. So I don’t think I’ll be going with those guys. Might make me a 5th wheel with them.” You giggled at that last response. “Ah. I see. Well, if you want. You can hang out with me at the food booth if you’re not going with them. Buuuuut I might be busy.”
He shrugged a bit as he looked at you with his brown eyes. “I don’t mind.”
You couldn’t help but find his eyes a bit intimidating but yet quite kind at the same time.
So they all agreed that they’ll meet at the food booth.
—-----------------------------------------------
Tonight is the night of Halloween. And every child in town is running around, taking a look at these fun events. Along with their friends and families.
While you and the girls on the other hand were REALLY busy selling those goodies that you guys have made. Everyone really enjoys your cooking and baking goods. Not a single person has been missed with their orders.
After a few while, the crowds had started to die down a bit. Which you three had FINALLY taken a break for a while.
“Damn…It almost feels like you have put a magic charm on these foods! I mean, did you SEE how many people just came?” Rebecca, who is dressed as a Witch, said with an exhaustion tone in her voice as she leaned back against the counter.
“I KNOW! Fuck man…what is your secret recipe though?” Sally, who is dressed as a Vampire, asked as she looked at you. “The whole TOWN can’t stop buying these!”
You smiled tiredly as you giggled lightly from your friend's compliment. “Well, I do want the people to ENJOY it. And it’s no secret at all! Just a bit of love and viola!”
The two girls just look at each other with an unamused look and look back at you while crossing their arms.
“Bullshits.” They said in unison before laughing with you.
Then you noticed the three boys that you’ve met earlier this morning had walked over.
“Good evening ladies. Don’t you look extravagant.” Kyle, who is dressed up as a wizard, said with a smile to see the three of you. Before he looked over to Rebecca seeing that she’s a Witch. “Ah. I see that you’re ALSO a magical person here.”
Rebecca just giggled. “Indeed I am, my pretty! But we ALL know that a Witch has the powerful potential of cursing anyone in her path!” Saying in her witch voice as she cackled with laughter.
The two just laughed at this.
Soap, who dressed up as a werewolf, then just smirked to see Sally in her Vampire costume. “Awooo~ A vampire is ya?~ Micht wanna be careful with me, lass. Ye know how vampire an werewolf are~”
Sally smirked back at this Scottish werewolf man before leaning in as she poke his chest. “Oh I know~ And I’ll take the risk~”
You rolled your eyes as you saw the two flirting before seeing Simon looking at you. You smiled at him before waving at him softly seeing him just wearing his black hoodie and blue jeans with shoes on.
He waved back a bit before seeing Gaz was nudging his arm. He just rolled his eyes seeing his smirk before walking up to you. He took a look around your booth before leaning on the counter. “Not too shabby. How’s the business going?”
You just smiled while still prepping the food and desserts into the display case. “It went VERY well. And I see you’re not wearing anything?”
“Like I said, not into these Halloween things.”
Before you two continued to talk, you felt a hand on your shoulder as you saw it was Rebecca.
“Okay! We’re gonna go! Now, are you SURE you can handle this? We can still stay.”
You nodded at her before touching her hand. “I’ll be okay. Besides, I have my extra helper over here!” You pointed at Simon.
Your friend saw him nodding at her as she smiled a bit before calling out to him. “Try to help her out will ya?”
Simon just nodded as a response and gave a thumbs up.
Soon the four already walked away. Leaving only you and Simon alone. The two of you don't talk much except just making and selling your food.
Simon was busy mixing the batter before taking a glance at you. You were just giving out some candies to the trick-or-treaters and handing them a bag of goodies. Seeing your sweet smile had really caught his eyes for some reason.
Why does he feel that towards you? You two just met and he also doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable either. He looked back at what he was doing before you finished giving the kids their treats.
You had started to bring out another tray of desserts before looking at Simon. “Hey, you wanna taste this?”
The tall man looked at your direction, seeing you showing the cupcake in your hand. He stopped what he was doing and started to walk over to you. You watched him take it as he pulled his mask down a bit before he took a bite. You were curious about why he was wearing that mask but judging by how quiet he was. You know that he doesn’t want to talk about it which you understand.
“So? How was it?” You asked him with a warm smile feeling excited of how he’ll respond to your baking expertise. But you saw him paused for a moment and he just withdrew the cupcake away from his lips as he stared at it for a bit. “Simon?”
He kept staring at the cupcake for a while as if something had made him feel...familiarize with this dessert. Soon he snapped out when you gently touched his arm. You gave him a worried look as he cleared his throat and pulled his mask back up. “Sorry, your cupcake is delicious. I bet the REST of your desserts are wonderful as well.”
You slowly nodded as you appreciated his words but you still felt a bit concerned for him. “Thank you…but are you alright, Simon?”
The British man was silenced as he kept staring at the cupcake before putting it down. “I’m alright. Just…remembered something.”
“Oh? What is it that you remembered?”
Simon was just looking at you with a loud silence between the both of you. The sound of people chattering and the children’s laughter had clouded out of your hearings. You know something that he wanted to share but is too afraid to even speak. So you just slowly walked over and stood in front of this man.
“Simon?”
“......I don’t want to bore you. And also, it’s just a burden that I have to carry.”
“Do you…wish to talk about it?”
“...No.”
You just gave him a small reassuring smile before taking his cupcake and gave it to him. “Then we don’t have to talk about it. Since I know we just met but I am here to listen.”
Simon had seen you handing his cupcake as he accepted and just stared at it. He sighed before starting to speak. “Your cooking…reminded me of someone that I know so close.”
You just nodded to let him continue.
“She had always made me great treats and it was…delicious.” He said softly before pulling his mask down again and took another bite from the cupcake. He proceeds on talking with you. “That’s all I could tell you. The rest…it’s for me to bear.”
You understood what he was saying and that last sentence had made you feel even MORE sympathy for him. “Of course, I understand. But…it will be better for you to let something out of your chest.” Then you place your hand on his back as you could see him looking at you with his brown eyes.
Damn. You can’t even help but to feel mesmerized by his brown eyes. You cleared your throat as you glanced away. “IF you’re ready to talk about it I mean.”
The two of you were just standing there in silence before you saw Simon was just staring at the cupcake. You then had an idea as you grabbed another cupcake for yourself.
“Hey, I’ll make you a deal. It’s not that kind of deal of you TALKING your problems to me.”
You saw that you caught his attention when he looked at you again.
“And that is what?”
“I can make you any kind of treats or food that someone of yours can make. IF you helped me to make some great buffet for thanksgiving next month.”
Simon just blinked at you when he listened to your offer. He started to chuckle deeply. “Oh love, I don’t know if your cooking skills are HALF as good as someone that I know of.”
You huffed as you crossed your arms. You’re going to make him EAT those words. “I can! And I will! Would you accept these deals?” You started to extend your hands towards him to shake on.
He looked at your hand and then looked at your eyes. He could see that you’re determined to make this for him. He sighed and reached his hand out and shook on yours. “Deal.”
You smiled as you nodded at him. “Alright then! Shall we begin discussing the food that you require?”
THE END
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#call of duty#call of duty modern warfare#cod x reader#call of duty x reader#task force 141 x reader#task force 141 x you#ghost x reader#reader x ghost#reader x canon#canon x reader#simon riley x reader#farmer ghost#farmer reader
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Sims In Bloom: Generation 2 Pt. 84 (Checking In On the Clinic - and Another Baby Boom??)
cw: it's not a Conther baby I'll just say that right now. Sorry!
On top of her responsibilities to her family, Heather worked hard to keep Buttercup Pet Clinic's great reputation, but life at work was rarely easy.
She'd recently noticed a dip in her ratings and was tech-savvy enough to realize she'd been targeted. She traced the IPs to an address connected to George Brindleton's old company and gave the evidence to Conrad.
"He's trying to hurt my business because he's still sore over losing his, but as long as he's not going after the kids, I can take whatever he wants to throw at me. My clients know how good we are."
Conrad remembered his threat to sniff around Brindleton & Sons old financial files, but with this evidence he had cause for something better. "We're filing a restraining order," he insisted. "For you and the kids, because next time he might try to do more than hire a bot farm to drag your reviews down. But if I have to stay away from him, too, I can't look into his finances, if it comes to it."
"Is a restraining order really necessary? What if it makes him more upset? I'll always let you know if I hear from him again, but I'd love to just forget we ever met him."
Conrad nodded apologetically. "It's necessary. He just needed to do something stupid like this before I could file for one. Just keep focused on your clinic. I've got my eye on George Brindleton."
Heather tried to increase the value of her clinic's furnishings, but she lacked a real aesthetic eye and now she also had marketing expenses. With every passing day she worked hard, and though sometimes it never seemed enough, George Brindleton wouldn't break her.
One cold winter morning, Kaori Hayashi, Heather's best vet tech, tended to local blacksmith Abby Harms' Australian Shepherd, Jax. As Heather finished with another patient, Spencer Pancakes surprised her old friend when she brought her dog, JJ, to the clinic.
It wasn't that she'd brought her pet, as she had so many times before, but Spencer sported a sizable baby bump, too.
"Spencer! I can't believe it! I thought the doctors said-"
"They were wrong!" (Mod conflicts! Sorta wrecks the surrogacy storyline but also whatever.) "Needless to say, we didn't expect it. We kept it to ourselves until Dr. Scott said we were healthy. We wanted to tell you!"
"Are you feeling okay about it? I know you didn't want a big family."
Spencer sighed. "Everett's thrilled. I had to move another work trip to Selvadorada, but I'm making the best of it. I took my mom's advice and started painting, and it's nice that Lydia and I are pregnant at the same time. Since it's her first and I need all the help I can get, we're kind of in it together. The pregnancy really does feel like a miracle, and Everett's an incredible father."
"Your boys have a great mom, too." Spencer offered a pitiful smile, and Heather remembered her last visit with Spencer's father-in-law. "Bob came in with one of his cats back in the fall and he mentioned he was worried about you. I kept meaning to call and plan a trip like he suggested, but life's been so busy, and...I didn't want to believe what he was saying, I guess. It didn't feel like any of my business."
(Quick for new readers, Heather doesn't want to intrude on their family because Jett is her biological son with Everett, conceived via science as Heather was their surrogate. She's tried to set a clear boundary to avoid any confusion for or about toddler Jett.)
Spencer nodded. "Bob means well. And I'm doing okay, really. The baby kicks all the time. Like right now. Here: feel. Since we moved back to Henford, it's been better. We haven't had any snow yet!"
"Don't remind me. I miss the mild winters in Henford, but Ash really loves the snow. It's great enjoying it through his eyes."
"The boys love living with my parents and running through the fields like we did. Everett's family comes around all the time, and he's happier at the parish in Henford. Oh! Would you believe that old fox, Pawbin Hood, is still alive?! He's still wearing the Sherwood Forest get up you bought from the creature keeper when we were fourteen!"
"I guess I'm not surprised; I swear, the foxes will outlive us all. Everett thinks they react differently to the wild mushrooms than sims do." Gently, she steered the conversation back to her friend. "And all of that sounds great for everybody else. But what about you, Spence?"
"On days I'm feeling overwhelmed, I'm just glad everyone's there to pick up the slack."
"What about work?"
"Paused for now, I guess. At this point I won't get back to Selvadorada until this one's out of diapers." She pointed to her bump. "But if you can get away, you should come with me next time I go. You're just as good at identifying artifacts, and you love exploring the jungle as much as I do."
"I would love that," Heather said, awash with nostalgia over their first trip to the jungle for Spencer's bachelorette. After their quick visit, she tended to JJ - who was fine other than a mild case of lava nose - and she sent them on their way with a refill of organic disinfectant spray to keep treating him.
Later that afternoon, Heather took a moment to relax and hydrate when she was met by another surprise visitor. The woman walked in heavily pregnant and disguised under a bandana and sunglasses, but Heather recognized her name from her digital sign-in sheet. "Emi Wise? You used to be Emi Kudo, didn't you? You were a vet tech here when I was in high school!"
Emi looked around to ensure she didn't recognize any other faces in the lobby. "I remember you and your parents," she admitted. "When I used VetConnect to find a clinic to help my Olive, I realized Sorrel Jackson sold you this place. I like the rebrand, and I liked it even better when I saw you got away from Landgraab Corp. I think you might be the only vet in Simlandia who can help us. That's the only reason I risked coming back here."
As Heather healed Olive in an exam room, Emi noted the place hadn't changed much since she'd worked there. "You've rebranded, and you should really invest in a whole new look. My husband's an architect, and I think he could design something incredible. When Olive has to come back for her follow-up appointment, I'll bring him with me so he can get a look at the place, if you want."
"That sounds great, actually. I'm always looking for ways to really spruce this place up!"
Heather called Conrad to set one more plate at the table for dinner before she invited Emi to her home next door. Grateful for Heather's hospitality so she and Olive could rest a little before their long journey home, Emi opened up about her life in the years since she'd left Brindleton Bay in such a hurry.
"I had an affair with a married man, and he chose his wife, of course. I was so young and naive. I had no idea what to do, but I knew I couldn't stay. So I bought a one-way plane ticket to Evergreen Valley because it felt far enough away from here. I met a man and fell in love a month after I got to town, and he raised the twins like they were his own from the day they were born. We had a son together, and this one will be a girl."
"It sounds to me like everything worked out for the best. You don't have to tell me who the father is, but there are rumours around town."
(Basically, it's a good thing Kaori finished up with Jax and Mrs. Harms before Emi and Olive showed up!)
Emi's face went white. "Please don't tell him or his wife I was here. I promised I wouldn't ever ask for a thing for the boys, but if they see me here they might think I want to cause trouble."
"Your secret's safe with me," Heather promised.
True to her word, Emi brought her husband Layne for Olive's follow up, and he and Heather spoke about plans to revamp the clinic completely - a total rebuild, with class, elegance, and in keeping with Brindleton Bay's coastal charms.
Buttercup Pet Clinic was a place where people felt comfortable being open and vulnerable, and Heather heard her fair share of gossip inside the clinic walls. She was becoming something of a neighbourhood confidante, and took it seriously when people trusted her with their problems. With this in mind, Layne offered to add a small cafe - a relaxed gathering place for owners to wait for their pets and sip coffee. Heather was excited, and couldn't wait for spring to get started on construction.
As a bonafide Friend of the Animals, Heather was pretty great with her human friends, too. And she wanted her clinic to reflect that. ->
<- Previous Chapter | Gen 2 Start | Gen 1 Summary | Gen 1 Start
NOTE: So my game had ANOTHER baby boom but now I think I'm maxed and need some elders to expire before more nooboos will generate randomly. That said, in addition to Emi and her husband (Layne Wise originally known as Leoric Weild), Everett & Spencer, and Lydia & Alexander, River and Cassandra are expecting again, too! That's two more grandkids for Bella!
I checked on the Gen 1 Nesbitt household, where River and Cassandra live with Neal, Daisy, and their son Michael (plus dog Bernadette and cat Duchess) and pregnant Cass got on an autonomous video call with her mom. 🥰
NOTE 2: It's been on my list to get Heather and Spencer back to Selvadorada for almost a decade (in game!). I'm trying to complete the Jungle Explorer aspiration with Spencer, but there really has not been a good time as they both have small kids or keep getting pregnant. The aspiration isn't a requirement for this generation and more a bonus goal for me, but I really want to do it so stay tuned!
Heather's had Adventurous as a bonus trait since they went on their first trip together, and ever since then she's just been able to use it for wild woohoo and being eager and excited about the Ambrosia Society's challenge, whereas Conrad was a lot more cautious (about the latter - the wild woohoo doesn't trouble him at all!)
NOTE 3: As always, I thank @rinseesims for adding the iconic Leoric Weild from her iconic UDC to the Sims 4 gallery because he makes a great dad/architect in this universe!
#sims 4#sims 4 gameplay#sims 4 screenshots#sims 4 legacy#sims in bloom#ts4#ts4 gameplay#ts4 legacy#ts4 screenshots#sims 4 story#ts4 story#legacy challenge#sims legacy#ts4 legacy challenge#gen 2#brindleton bay#cassandra goth
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Hey there! Hope you're having a great day & getting enough rest! I found Infested awhile back before Chapter 2 started,& while I'm not normally a big fan of horror/angst/gore & all that,I was really interested since it was about Shadow,who's one of my absolute favorites & it was really interesting & now I'm hooked,lol. Just curious though,you said that you always wanted to do a Sonic horror story,but what keeps you inspired to keep doing so much angst & emotional whiplash? Is it the challenge of writing the characters in situations that they normally wouldn't be in or other things? And I know you don't like to answer too many questions about the bugs to keep suspense up,but I gotta ask. Do the bugs know when another infected is nearby? Like they infect one person,then run into another person who was infected,do they have like "bug telepathy" or something so they don't kill each other?
Hello! Happy to be kinda like a gateway into this kinda stuff for you! I hope you enjoy Infested the whole way through!
A lot of it really is that I wanted to make a story and that I deeply love these characters and I especially love Archie Sonic and I mourn its death every day of my life.
Equally, this story comes from feelings that I had to explode onto these characters as a means of therapy for me. It's not as bad as it once was, but my world is still so small.
I do still feel trapped where I am, clawing for a means of escape, but it was so much worse before. I've had all too much time to myself, stuck in my thoughts, thinking of how much more living I was once able to do with my life. I needed an escape from this. I've experience suicidal thoughts before and I was scared they'd find me again.
So I step into the shoes of characters that bring me joy. I rummage around and poke at the things I personally find interesting about them. I take a horrible scenario and inflict them with it -- Not out of spite, not out of cruelty or any sort of anger, but because, in the end, perhaps they can handle things better than I ever could.
Perhaps they can hit their absolute lowest point and find strength within it.
Now, with all that said, I'll answer your bug question:
Yes, she's aware of when she's near hosts outside of her own. She's a hivemind, and connected to herself in that way. Hosts don't attack other hosts.
#weblena-for-life#asks#tw suicide#<- mentioning the idea of it briefly and how that idea has effected me#infested asks
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Logan Walker - movie night •NSFW•
p in v , fingering
3,5k+ words
not proof-read
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
"hey hunny, how are you?"
he smiled as he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close, embracing you warmly against his chest.
"i'm feeling much better now that i'm home with you."
he buried his face into your neck, inhaling your scent as if trying to memorize it again.
"perfect!, i made us some hot chocolates, and i bought some marshmellows to dip in." you said.
logan let out a soft laugh, amused by your thoughtfulness. "that sounds perfect. i could definetly use something warm and sweet right now." he pulled back from the embrace, his arms still around your waist, as he met your gaze with a weary smile.
"lead the way," he gestures.
"there you go," you smiled, as you handed him the mug, steam still visible. "did anything special happend at work today?" you asked, blowing your own hot chocolate before taking a small sip.
logan let out a sigh as he took a seat at the table and accepted the hot chocolate. "thank you," he says as he wrapped his hands around the mug, letting the heat from the drink warm his hands.
"nothing special," he responded, taking a sip. "just the usual; drills, reviewing missions, and being yelled at by superiors."
"i see, and i still don't understand how you keep up with all of that," you replied.
logan shrugged as he set the mug down, his smile still on his face. "i guess i'm just used to it. it's like second nature to me at this point." he took your hand in his, giving it a gentle squeeze, "besides, it makes coming home to you even sweeter."
you blushed at his words, "stop it, you always make me blush with these kind of comments."
he chuckled at your shyness, his smile turning cheeky. "i can't help it. you're just too adorable when you blush."
he leaned in a little closer, his tone dropping to a low, teasing tone. "besides, i love seeing that pink color on your cheeks, it's cute and hot at the same time."
you couldn't help but blush even more, "well thank you hun," you said shyly, "here are some marshmallows," you said trying to change the subject. logan knew you always try to avoid these type of conversations, you didn't like to be shy.
you handed logan a few marshmallows. logan grinned as he took the marshmallows and popped them into his mouth, savoring the sweetness.
"mmm, delicious. just like you." he winked at you with a sly smile, clearly enjoying teasing you.
"i see where this is going," you said "but before we get to that point, i really wanted to have a movie night with you.." you pleaded.
logan raised an eyebrow, a smirk still on his face. "oh, are you trying to get all cutesy with me no? okay then, i can get behind a movie night." he leaned back in his chair, still holding your hand, his tumb tracing over your knuckles. "what movie do you have in mind?"
"okay, so well.. i know you hate rom-coms, but you once promised me, like decades ago, that you would watch one with me, is today finally my lucky day..?" you asked, putting on your best smile.
logan sighed dramatically, rolling his eyes jokingly. "oh, so you're bringing up that old promise, huh? i was hoping you'd forget about it." he replied, you tried to look offended by his words.
he pretended to think for a moment before chuckling and giving in.
"well, i guess i can't back out now. sure, we can watch a sappy rom-com tonight. but you owe me, big time."
"hold on there mister, you promised me. i don't owe you anything, you still owe me this smartass."
logan held up his free hand in surrender, a smirk still on his face. "okay, okay, fine. you're right. i promised, and i'll keep my word, but just so you know.." he leaned in closer, his tone lowering to a soft, teasing whisper. "i'll hold you to that 'owe you' part later tonight. you know how much i like to collect my debts."
you blushed again, god this man. but you had to keep strong, "i don't think you deserve it." you said sternly, "first you need to watch the whole movie without closing an eye, maybe i will consider it then.."
logan huffed dramatically, but he was clearly enjoying your playful banter. "oh, is that all huh? just keeping my eyes open for the entire thing and you'll 'maybe'consider rewarding me later? you drive a hard bargain babe."
he crossed his arms over his chest and faked a pout, "but fine, i'll do it. but only because i love you. and i know you'll make it worthwhile for me in return." he smirked.
"well, if that's too easy. i will also question you about the movie, and every answer has to be correct." you pointed.
logan's eyes flared with playful determination. "alright, you sneaky little minx. you're on." he replied.
he leaned back in his chair, his arms still crossed as a cocky smile formed on his lips.
"hit me with your best shot. i'll memorize every line, every scene, and even the names of the side characters. you won't stump me, i assure you."
"well we'll see about that," you said. "and now chop, chop. drink your hot chocolate and get into something comfortable, i can't wait to start the movie." you grinned.
logan rolles his eyes jokingly and grinned, "yes, ma'am."
he took a final sip of the hot cocoa, finishing it, before standing up and stretching his arms above his head, graoning in content.
"alright, i'll go change into something more comfortable. but no peeking while i change. i don't want to give you a show for free."
he winked jokingly before heading towards the bedroom, leaving you to prepare for the movie night. a few moments later, he emerged from the bedroom in a pair of sweatpants and a loose t-shirt, his hair still slightly messy from the change.
"i'm all changed and ready to suffer through watching a rom-com.let the torture begin." he said.
you poked him in his upper arm, "such a funny guy you are, here.." you gave him a lighter, "can you light up some candles please? i grab the blankets."
logan nodded, stepping over to the coffee table to light up some scented candles and create a cozy atmosphere.
"how romantic," he whispers to himself.
once the candles were lit, he looked over at you, hands on his hips. "now all that's missing are the blankets, which it appears you're already taken care of."
"yep, no movie night without blankets." you smiled, dropping the blankets on the couch.
"agreed," he replied. logan moved over towards the couch, taking a seat and pulling the corner of the nearest blanket over him, waiting for you to join him. he patted the spot beside him, indicating for you to sit next to him. "come on babe, get over here. i want some cuddles while i suffer through this."
"fine, but dont get used to this treatment, you also promised me to watch a horror movie someday, don't expect cuddles when we do, i like to see you scared," you said teasingly.
logan chuckled as he made room for you on the couch, pulling you in close as you sat down. he wrapped his arms around your shoulders, pulling you against his side.
"oh don't worry. i won't forget about that. and trust me, there will be no cuddles during a horror movie, i'll make sure of that." he pressed a light kiss to your forehead. "but right now, you're all mine and i intend to enjoy every second of it."
"okay, noted. if you're ready you can press play." you gave him a small kiss on his cheek. logan reached out with one hand towards the remote, grabbing it up and pointing at the tv. he hit the play button, starting the movie. "as you wish, my darling." he settled back, wrapping his arm around your shoulders and pulling you closer again.
the opening scenes op the movie played, and it was evident that logan was already cringing a little. he rolled his eyes and huffed softly. "i can't believe i'm doing this.." he muttered, but squeezed you tighter against his side, as if needing your support to get through the night.
as the movie continued, the plot thickens and the cheesy dialogue started. logan couldn't help but grimace every now and then.
"is it me, or do all of these movies use the same old tropes?" he whispered
he rolled his eyes at some overly dramatic scene.
despite his apparent distaste for the movie, he remained dedicated to watching it without closing his eyes. he glances over at you, his expression a mix of mild disgust and begrudging amusement.
the film progressed further. the main characters were obviously falling in love, bit in a very cliché and sappy way. logan groanded softly,
"how many more scenes will they spend exchanging puppy eyes? it's nauseating."
as the plot intensified, so did the romance. the main characters finally confessed their feelings for each other, complete with overly affectionate scenes and exaggerated declarations of love. logan let out an exaggerated gagging sound.
"seriously? do they have to be so mushy and cheesy about it?
you couldn't help but let out a small laugh every time he makes a comment about something that disturbes him.
he leaned his head back on the couch, eyes still on the screen. despite his protest, he wasn't looking away or closing his eyes. "can we fast forward to the end yet? i don't think i can handle any more of this sappiness."
the movie continued to drone on. the characters were now experiencing relationship problems, causing logan to roll his eyes once again.
"oh great, now they're having relationship issues. this isn't a movie, it's a public service announcement about how to NOT communicate in a relationship. they're supposed to be in love, not arguing over petty crap."
he huffed and held you tighter, using you as a prop to get through this. "this is the kind of unrealistic bullshit that makes me hate these movies. real relationships don't work like this."
you laughed, "i bet there are."
logan raised an eyebrow at your laughter. "what's so funny babe?" he asked, leaning in a little closer, his curiosity peaked.
"just thinking.. you claim that these movies are 'unrealistic bullshit' but i bet somewhere out there, there are couples who practically act like this in real life. all sappy, mushy, cheesy and affectionate." you explained.
logan's expression was one of slight disbelieve mixed with amusement. he let out a soft chuckle, shaking his head at your comment. you playfully poked his side, still smiling.
"oh come on, don't be so stubborn. just admit it. there must be at least one couple out there who loves being hopelessly romantic and cheesy all the time." you said.
logan scoffs jokingly, "fine, maybe there's one or two hopeless romantic couples out there. but people don't have time to be all lovey-dovey and sweet every single day, it's not realistic." he argumemted.
"okay, i'll give you that." you replied.
"but smartass, congratulations, you survived the torture!" you nudged him in his side the credits playing on the tv screen.
logan laughed lightly, feigning exhaustion as he dramatically leaned back against the couch. "barely, that was a test of endurance, i'll tell you that. i feel like i spent the past hours fending off romantic nonsense and gagging at overly dramatic declarations of love."
he shot a playful smirk. "but in the end, i survived. so what's my reward for sitting through that movie without puking or closing my eyes?"
you looked at the ceiling, thinking.. "hmm, well because i dragged you through so much torture, you can decide what your reward will be hun,"
logan's expression turned decidedly cheeky as you offered him the choice of his reward. "well, that's dangerous territory babe. i could ask for anything now, couldn't i?" he pretended to think for a moment before a sly smile curled at the corner of his lips.
"since i was such a good sport watching that sappy garbage, i think i deserve a pretty damn good reward.."he moved closer to you, his voice lowering as he continued, "and lucky for you, i know exactly what i want.."
his hands snaked around your waist, pulling you even closer against him. he looked at you with a smoldering gaze, his eyes darkened with desire. "i don't think i want to wait any longer. i want my reward..now."
he leaned in, his breath hot against your ear. "and don't worry, i plan on collecting every last bit of my 'debt' babe. you'll be thanking me gefore the night is over.."
your cheeks turned into a bright shade of pink, the look in logan's eyes telling you exactly what he wants, what he needs.
in one swift motion, he scooped you up in his arms and stood up from the couch. he held you against his chest, his strong arms easily supporting your weight. "let's take this to the bedroom, where i can properly claim my prize, huh?"
with a firm grip, he carried you into the bedroom, his steps puposeful and steady. once inside, he kicked the door shut behind him and gently set you down on the bed. he stood before the bed for a moment, locking his gaze onto yours, his eyes filled with burning desire.
he stripped of his t-shirt, tossing it aside, revealing his toned, muscular torso. he moved closer, crawling onto the bed, his hands roaming over your body with a possessive grip. "you have no idea how long i've been waiting for this.."
he pushed you onto your bavk, pinning you beneath him on the mattress. his body hovered over yours, his arms on either side of your head, trapping you in place.
"all night, i've been thinking about this babe, how you'd feel under me, wrapped in my arms. how you'd lok in the moonlight, flushed and breathless.."
you bit your bottom lip, the sight of logan doing things with your body. goosebumps covered your soft skin, as you locked your eyes with logan's.
he leaned down and planted a trail of hot open-mouthed kisses along your neck, his lips moving upwards towards your jawline. he nipped at your skin, biting down slightly before soothing the mark with his tongue.
"god, you drive me insane, you know that..seeing you in that cute little movie night outfit. it's been torture pretending to focus on this shitty movie and not just jumping your bones right there on the couch.."
"i picked it out on purpose," you said biting your lip.. "i know you like seeing me in it.."
a guttural growl rumbles in his throat as your words only fueled his desire. "i could tell. i think you love driving me crazy, don't you?" you hummed in response, your eyes giving him a needy look.
his lips moved back up to your ear, his teeth nipping at your earlobe before his warm breath sent shivers through your body.
"i can't take it anymore, i need to taste you, feel you, have you completely right now.." he breathed.
"i'm all yours for tonight baby.." you whispered seductively in his ear.
his eyes darkened with pure lust as you voiced your surrender. his hands began to wander, moving over your body, slipping under the hem of your shirt and slowly hiking it up, revealing more of your skin.
"i want to memorize every inch of you, taste every curve and contour. i want to make you scream my name until you can't form words anymore.."
his hand moved to the edges of your shirt and began to slowly pull it upwards. he tugged gently, slowly peeling the fabric up and over your head, revealing your bare torso to him.
he let out a low, hungry grunt at the sight of you in your underwear. you wiggled, positioning yourself so you meet his face above yours. feeling his hard throbbing cock through his sweatpants as you moved.
he ran his hands over your thighs, hooking his fingers around the hem of your panties and began to slowly pull them down, exposing your already soaked pussy.
he couldn't help but let his hand slide to your pussy. "fucking hell y/n.. so wet for me aren't you.." you hummed in response, flinching when his hand slowly began moving up and down. teasing you with his fingers, almost entering you, something you wanted so badly.
"please..i need you logan.." you begged.
something in logan switched, immediate. he's looking at you like you are his prey, eyes dark and focussed on one thing only, you. "you don't need to tell me twice darling.." logan smirked, he licked his fingers before he strokes them over your pussy, slowly entering the first one. a loud moan escapes your mouth at the feeling. his thick finger moving in a swift motion.
you couldn't help but moan, looking at him enjoying every second of seeing you being satisfied. your eyes started to focus on a wet spot on his sweatpants, you moaned at the sight. his cock is throbbing so badly that it leaks through his sweatpants.
logan notices, "come on baby, pull it down. i know you want it.." he smirked. you pulled his pants down, his cock jumping up at it's release, precum clearly visible. your hand reached out, grabbing his big cock.
the moment you felt the sticky precum on your hands logan entered a second finger inside your wet pussy. you jumped, squeezing his cock by the sudden feeling. logan moaned, "holy fuck.. go on sweetheart.." you bit your bottom lip, moving your hand, trying to mimic logan's pace.
the room was filled with loud moans and the sound of your wet pussy.
"how does that feel huh? are you enjoying yourself baby?" he said inbetween his own moans. "feels.. so.. good.." you moaned. logan looked at you, trying to look unsatisfied, "just good? i can't give my girl something that is just good, now do i.." he had a develish grin on his face. a look you haven't seen before.
he moved back, his fingeres leaving your warm wet pussy. you had to adjust to the sudden empty feeling. "your in for a perfect time baby.." he said, with a low seductive voice.
he picked up your perfectly nakes body like it was nothing, and laid you on your stomach. he tapped your ass, "move that pretty ass up for me.. will ya?" you obeyed him. you put up your pretty ass just the way he wants.
his hands roamed over your exposed ass, a low groal in his throath, "so.." smack "fucking.." smack "perfect.." smack. you moaned after each word, enjoying it at its purest.
you wiggled your ass, logan noticing.. "please.. i need you, now." you whined. logan laughed, smacking your ass one more time. he grabbed his thick cock, and moved it up and down over your wet folds. the room filled with the sound of your wetness.
he moved faster, seeing how needy you are as you kept pushing your ass against him, hoping it would slide in perfectly. "so impatient.." he moaned.
he grabbed your hair in a ponytail and pulled you towards him, your body now in a perfect arch. you moaned as his other hand cupped your breast. his fingers slowly moving over your overly sensitive nipple.
"fuck.. logan.." you moaned. logan planted sloppy wet kisses in your neck, sending shivers down your spine as the cold air contacts the wet spots. your nipples getting harder by that feeling.
"godammit baby.." he moans, "i just fucking need you right now.." he groans.
he let go of your hair, your body falling on the mattress. his hands found your waist, positioning you in the perfect spot. he took his cock, and slid it up and down a few times before entering with a full force. logan moaned loudly, his cock now inside your perfect wet pussy, made just for him.
he moved fast, letting it all out. you didn't mind, you were enjoying this just as much as he was. "so fucking.. warm.." he moaned, grabbing your hips tighter. "so damn good.." he moved your ass closer as he starts pounding into you with so much force, feeling his balls hitting your pussy each time.
"oh my god.." you moaned. "I'm about to come baby.."
"fuck baby, yeah.. come for me then.." he groaned, he grabbed your hair and pulled you towards him. his face meeting yours as he leaned down a bit. "look at me when you do.." he whispers. just those words, those damn words sent you over your limit. your eyes locked with his. you came, and your eyes shot backwards. moans escaped your mouth as you tried keeping eye contact. your body started shaking, but logan didn't stop.
logan looked at you, "so fucking pretty when you come all over me.." he was so eager, still keeping his pace. you felt that he was close, very close. his movements became less frequent "fuck baby, fuck.. fuck.. fuck.." he moaned loudly. you've never seen him moan like this, he was mostly very quiet. but god, it's hot.
you felt him pulling out, and within a second you felt spurts of a warm substance on your skin. logan moaned. you felt his hand carressing you ass, admiring his art.
"fuck, baby.." he breathed. he sat down next to you. you couldn't help but let out a small laugh. logan looked at you, "what..?" he asked as he patted your ass. "you should be vocal more often, it's incredibly hot.." you spoke.
"is that so..?" he smirks. he stands up and grabs his shirt. he looked down at you, "too bad that it has to come off, looks fucking good on you..a work of art.." he says, talking about his cum covering your bare back.
"who says it has to come off..?" you replied, a seductive smirk on your face. "nobody said that the painting was finished.."
logan looked at you surprised. his mind going crazy at your comment.
you looked down, his cock already facing upwards again.
"so.." you said,
logan didn't hesitate, he grabbed your body turning you around, this time your back on the mattress. you couldn't help but look at him with those desperate eyes, driving him wild.
how could he forget to paint both sides of the canvas?
#cod smut#logan walker#logan walker x reader#logan smut#cod ghosts#call of duty#cod imagine#cod imagines#cod headcanons#cod fluff#cod
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hello it's part 3 of 3 for my cool fun graphic design adventure!! part 1 and part 2 got too long. to recap i am recreating this t-shirt design but with the magic 8 ball songs instead of city names:
here is the current draft, updated through 3/27 (pittsburgh) (!!!!)
#aaaa!!!#tried doing image descriptions for this one#feel free to send me better ones though and i can update the alt text!! or just put them in the replies/reblogs lol#bees' graphic design adventure#only 7 more shows........ wowie#OH ALSO ppl have been expressing interest in getting this as an actual shirt which is!! cool!!#idk how to do that though!!#if anyone has recommendations for websites or something to do that please please send them or reply to this post or something#at the very least i'll make the file available at the end so ppl can print it on whatever they want#i was gonna make a poster#but yeah let me know if there's a good way to do that!!! it's really cool that people are enjoying this i am having a lot of fun doing it#fob#fall out boy#2ourdust#gonna update after nashville des moines and minneapolis so 3 left!!!#i have already changed it since posting this because i am a freak <3 and i cant leave good enough alone lol#also i now have all the fonts <3 for the cities anyway#not the states but i’ve only used the states a few times so far for like the parentheses or punctuation or whatever#so if i end up needing those ill go find them whatever#anywayyyy yeehaw see u all in like 4 days
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hey
#so i've been dealing with some irl stuff recently#nothing too bad. it was just really frustrating and exhausting for me. and really putting a damper on my mood and my art#and i'm sorry if i've been acting a little weird or not saying too much or anything#or if i've been kinda inactive for the past few days#but i'll be okay!#i just wanted to let you guys know what's been kinda going on#i'm slowly working on something really sweet involving Hugo and Noa. so that's been making me feel better#i need something happy and soft between them lol#also! I've been playing The Quarry recently!#the writing is kinda stupid and almost all of the characters act like they don't have a brain. but that's what makes it so fun!#and i'm pretty sure the devs did that intentionally. to make it seem more like a campy monster flick#i'm really enjoying it so far! the werewolves are really cool!#also it's really funny to me how they just pop like balloons whenever they're transforming#i thought it was gonna be a slow transformation. but no. their skin just immediately explodes off#and then they somehow get it all back when they turn back into humans? idk how that works but it's pretty rad#also also! the thing with the tarot cards is really cool!#i missed a lot in the beginning because i didn't know what i was looking for#and the fortune teller lady in between chapters kept getting mad at me for not finding any#but i eventually started to get it! when the game decided to really put one in my face in chapter 3 lol#and the thing with the tarot cards representing the different characters in the game got me thinking about what card Noa would probably be#i think Seven of Swords would be right up her alley#because it's associated with deception. dishonesty. betrayal. and acting strategically#and it could also signify self-deception and confessions. which is all very true for her character#aaahh now i wanna make a tarot card design for her!#but that's an idea for another day#anyway sorry for sorta rambling a bit#i hope you all are doing okay
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i think i tapped on the explore page by accident some minutes ago, i've been scrolling for a good sec like 'why is this on my dash. i don't know any of these people. what's going on' lmfsvh
#just me hi#i was really scrolling like 'man i do i need to start unfollowing people' before i Realized something was Wrong hkdjvhgv#idek how i did that. for a moment i was in a poor (quality) alternate dimension hkfkshvj#//anywho 'm gonna be going to bed in a bit :)#12 is about the time i should go to sleep... but also i've been doing pretty well going to sleep late n waking up at pretty reasonable hour#turns out when i'm much better at managing my own sleep times than i thought! whodda thought after all this time hbfhsh#//mnmnm also i'm getting back into actually enjoying writing lol :33#took me a sec bc oooh has it been fooooreeeever bfsh !! but yea i'm figuring out how to like it again :>>#i had what i believe to be a reasonable amount of description for a scene(in hindsight anyway lmfsh) and was like 'ohh but is this annoying#and then the thought of 'oh wait. i'm writing for me and one other guy (also me)'#so it haaaas been pleasant :33#i'm trying to practice my pacing n stuff... my punctuation has gotten a bit rusty too so that as well :)#//oh i haven't worked on my background stuff...#year's almost done and i think i've done 1 full background i think. that's a bit crazy hkfshv#gotta make up for that !! it's gonna suck prolly but i'm gonna do it >:3#mmmmmmmmmmmmm yea i'll do that after the yellow piece tomorrow :>#i've already got some of the guidelines for that down so ~!!~#//ouh the tea Got Me#going to poof now.. tooodles .w./
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need y'all to know that some time ago xeno brought it to my attention that jesus of suburbia is an incredibly byan-coded song and i haven't stopped thinking about it since
#it's so TRUE. that ENTIRE longass song is so STUPIDLY byan and I can't get over it#I need to like. go back & listen to more green day tbh bc I think a lot of their shit would suit them#*relisten rather. I used to LIVE on green day but I haven't really been back to them in yearrrsssss#and honestly? they're the kinda stuff byan would listen to too ngl#anyway. sorry I still haven't been around... I don't even have a good excuse this time bc I've literally just been playing overwatch adjgksg#I'm hyperfixated on it again it's literally all I want to do rn :x#I'm getting better on mnk and like.... idk man playing on a new input has added a new challenge and?? I'm having sm fun??? like actually???#I haven't enjoyed this game solo this much since 2016 when I first picked it up#it's been nice 🥺 I AM gonna try to like. get myself to take a break to do some writing at some point but. no promises.#gonna see how I feel. u know I'll be back & active at some point it's just been a v strange couple months ajdgsj#hope everyone's having a lovely friday!!! 💜#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don’t @ me.
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Yesterday I've been doing some proper physical exercise for the first time since last year and I'm just imagining how proud my f/os would be of me🥹
#it was just a 20 minute beginners home workout and I can feel every muscle in my body now but I think they'd be so happy I pushed through!#I've had particularly Heinz and Maximilian on my mind I think they would be sooo happy that I'm trying to take better care of myself💖#Heinz because he's always there anyway of course but I kind of imagine Max is probably overall the fittest out of my f/os#he seems like the kind of guy who'd want to be an example for his soldiers and always hold himself to the same standards as them#he'd be so supportive and cheer me on and be proud of me every time I get myself to do something😭💖💖#I've never particularly enjoyed doing sports (aside horse riding but in the past year I didn't have time anymore for that bc of uni😭😭)#so I didn't really do anything anymore after I finished school#I started doing simple home workouts last year but in winter my mental health went a little📉 and then I had no motivation to keep going#dunno how long I'll go through with it this time but better than nothing I guess#again with the home workouts lmao bc driving to the nearest gym ain't worth the time for me and I'd need some basic fitness first anyway#I'm doing it mainly for health reasons but this time I'm also motivated to actually get a bit stronger#I don't mind looking like a stick figure and I'm overall content with my body (maybe it could help me to look a bit more masc tho?👀👀)#but I know especially for my posture and such it would be good if my muscles were just a tad bit more developed#my mum was proud of me too when I told her about it hehe :) she works in healthcare she's always a little concerned#she's just a little worried about me getting health issues when I'm older that could be avoided by taking proper care of my body now#I get where she's coming from but it's not easy but at least I'm motivated to try again now :)#selnia talks
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do you ever feel casually suicidal? like you're not depressed or anything you're doing fine but also it feels like a convenient option
#if you can't make connections with people or be seen by anyone then like. at least you can feel like you're helping a better cause#to like charities and gfms and anyone else#but you have to tone that down bc you're slowly losing money bc you still can't get a job#and bc you don't have a job it means you're just stuck in the house all day. which gives Way Too Much opportunity to Think about everything#and also so like. i still share a room with my sister but it was fine bc she'd stay at her bf's a few nights a week#but he's got a job that's a bit further away and basically she can't go round his as much. so now it's maybe like once a week#the room is getting messier so it gives me less energy to do anything#you can get really into an unhealthy weight loss obsession bc at least it feels like you're getting towards something#but idek is set weight theory real? bc once i get down to a certain point it suddenly resets#like honestly counting calories and donating money to every gfm i saw and writing a film script was what kept me going#but first one isn't working and second i need some sort of income and third is finished and i have no way of actually creating it#and then there's the whole lack of stable hyperfixation and ability to find new music i enjoy#and realistically what would fix me is having a good job that i enjoy and somewhere to live on my own#but until i get a job that's currently impossible. and even then it probably won't feel like enough#my entire life is lived on my phone i need more physical objects but i don't have enough space#bc i share a room with my sister. it's like all my problems are connected#and i have enough optimism that i still think it'll get better in the next few weeks. maybe i'll be able to get a job and that'll#get everything going again#but at the same time i could easily just die#I've graduated from uni. I've seen the who live 3 times. I've crashed my car twice. I've watched 30 years of corrie. I've met various dogs#what else is there to do with my life honestly#(<- joking)#but yeah like. in summer 2021 i almost got suicidal (it was just letting the occasional thought linger in my mind etc)#but that was bc i was so depressed#but now it feels like i could just kill myself. but more just out of convenience#idek. i'm not gonna kill myself. bc i have a job interview on tuesday. and just in general i won't#but there is this casual feeling of like. well i might as well. i can't describe it#ramble#suicide tw#weight loss mention
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I'm not gonna screenshot it bc 1/it really doesn't matter that much and 2/the person who made the comment is a kid but: a while ago I made a comic that's supposed to be a genuine study and reinterpretation of someone else's sprite comic (made in the spirit of authenticity too - to recreate the vibes of the sprite comics from that era, iirc very specifically because it's funny) and I got a comment on that comic's post that's like "glow up"
which is a compliment obvs. and the commenter probably didn't mean anything by it, it's a common expression. but I've been trying to find a way to gracefully put that comment away ever since it appeared lol
I just very much don't want my art to be taken as trying to one-up someone else's art when that's not the piece's intention. especially when the piece that inspired my art is perceived as "low effort" or "shitpost" or stuff like that. I did mention in the tags of that post that my considering it a study is entirely genuine, and I can legitimately write pages about the cool stuff I find in it other than and inherent in the haha funneys, but that's not for you guys that's for me. I just think that approaching art competition-first like that is a miserable way to do it, and (tipping into overthinking here if the whole tiny-comment-got-stuck-in-my-brain-for-almost-a-month part hasn't given that away yet lol) I really don't want that to be the takeaway from my own art. at least generally. if I actually think the source material is trash and what I'm doing is genuinely categorically better I'd just come out and say it lmao
#bakuspeech#yeah it's the darkhog sprite comic#honestly I don't love comments that put my art and other artists' art in a hierarchy in general. wherever my art lands on that scale#especially when it comes to character writing and trans 'representation'#which like. idk man I'm writing One character. he's NOT gonna be The Trans Experience. he's gonna be one character.#but yeah I'd guess I'm writing it all out in a post bc it's not really a race that anyone opts in#I don't actively participate but by virtue of how my art is perceived I just end up on the scale anyway#so uh. I'm suggesting that we do not bring the scale into my house at all lmao#there's also the like. Don't Yuck My Yum guideline of looking at art that's like#I like the things I'm aping! most of the times! if I don't say it's shit and I'm drawing stuff from it usually that means I like it lol#and then you kinda come in like wow what you're doing here is better than the thing you like. and it's not like yknow.#really anything. it's extremely trivial comparatively. but you are in fact yucking my yum there#tldr please try not to think abt art u like vs art u don't as ''better'' or ''worse'' and#have grace for the things that don't please u personally. anyways I'm omw to finishing the frog now. just need to fell all the seams down#and put that boy in da spinner for a ride. and then it can live in a gift bag until the day#I really enjoy holding it actually... maybe after this one I'll make something else. tbh slick stretchy fabrics are superior to fuzzy fabri#doesn't pill And cooler to touch. stuffed toys for the subtropical population#I'll get a combilation of pics once the thing's at its new home. but for now. we must finish the job
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A lot of my main couples are like *the neurodivergent weirdo* and then their partner is like *the neurodivergent weirdo who functions a little better in the society*
Sure is interesting. Surely doesn't mean anything at all. Surely.
#blorbo talks#or like one is more obviously nd and the other less but then you get to know them better and it's like oh. oh yeah. you too#i don't need a diagnosis i have my unintentional self inserts and their beloveds#if i ever decide to go through the hell that is apparently getting diagnosed officially i'll just send my psychiatrist a link to my blog an#be like. here. read. enjoy. pls don't send me to the psych ward again#i mean i loved my time at tehe psych ward genuinely but i also don't really wanna go there again yknow#i can do it alone now
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I just had the horrible thought that I need to fall in love because having devastating crushes on beautiful, competent, authoritative women that I desperately want to please is exhausting and I need it to stop
#this one is straight so there's no room for delusion which is good#but my burning need to be her most favorite is eating me from the inside#it IS making me better at my job though#.......i mean i think so but what the fuck do i know#on friday night amongst the grueling psychosexual chaos that ensued a very smart guy that I LOVE said to me#i have no doubts you're gonna be a great psychiatrist actually#i traded a month with him to have another month with her#he's a phenomenologist she's a psychodynamic....ist? rival theories#I don't like most of psychodynamic theory.......so far#but i love the way she works and i can see how well it fits with her manymanyMANY patients and goddamnit i love personality dosorders#so i made the choice to go with her yes and im very torn casue i LOVE that guy and i wish i could become his friend like my bff from my year#also.......kind of dumb of me since I'd only soend two days a week woth her and the other three with very scary ladies#but I've been in scarier situation i can manage#and god when she praises me (silently obv she's only been forward about my merit ONCE and i almost pissed myself like an overexcited dog)#the endorphin rush is........man#but yes i need to work on this.......idk how to define it. closest i can get to explaining it is professional sub space#with strong aspects of praise kink#pathetic is what it is really#but hey if it makes me study harder who fucking cares right#I'm gonna be the smartest most intuitive fucking bitch amongst my peers so if I can't have her (them) carnally then goddamnit#I'LL HAVE THEIR PRAISE AND RESPECT AND ADMIRATION AT LEAST#........I'll be normal again in a week or two i just need to get over these next couple of days of....idk. inflammation i guess#yeah it's just like an infected wound right now#angry red throbbing hot pain#i know the drill it'll be better in a couple of days you just need to not freak out and let it do its thing#it's nice to be mature-r about emotional impulsivity and the shame that comes after an episode of deregulation#it really doesn't have to be a big deal even while it still feels like it#it still hurts but it's like......hour three of a tattoo. it's a bitch but you know it's gonna be over eventually and wriggling won't work#the only thing left to do is enjoying it all while it's happening or trying to#I don't think I'm doing a great job but what're you gonna do right
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-.-
#i am reading some stuff in the agatha tags#i know not a great idea#i just thought since I've been enjoying the meta posts atleast some of them I'll just keep a lookout for it#but as usual#the bs comes through#i have not seen one person who is mad coz agathario not been the focus#so either I've blocked all the idiots#or more likely people are preemptively policing others#which i guese is bound to happen but boy does it annoy me#i really don't care about them being endgame or getting happy ending or whatever#i felt the fandom as a whole also understands that and are just enjoying the ride#it's still mcu#we can be cautiously optimistic but especially with a story like agatha's#and her and rio's relationship being actually labelled as romantic antagonists#i fail to see how people even think that it's going to end as them getting some sappy happyily ever after or something like that#seriously do people really think that's in the cards#or it's just some wishful fanon thinking#i just want to enjoy the show as a show with all these interesting women characters#maybe i am alone in it but from what I've seen atleast on tumblr it feels the same for most of us here#i dunno what happens on other social media sites and i also actually don't care#it's always been like that especially wlw queer ships so yeah it kinda irritates me#i think i need to filter better and try focusing on the artsy stuff#anyways i am wondering if they will release teaser for next epi or not#I'll prefer to go without knowing anything tbh it is kind of exciting to experience it fresh without any spoilers#lets see#in the meantime i am rewatching the show and getting evermore obsessed with agatha and to some extent rio ha ha!#i am posting too much u can tell i am very invested now ...anybody want to pull me out? no? okayyy..down the road I go...!#i am so gay dude...fml#tag ramblings#for ts
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Randomly remembered the half-reason i call my oc-verse by the name it has while laying in bed. One-half of the reason i still knew, but I had forgotten what had truly, really cemented it jointly until now
(it was a song from my favourite band I haven't listened to in a while.)
(the song fit so well at the time, still does, that i needed to hold onto it for the main protagonists forever, by partially naming their story in reference.)
Does this explanation make any sense? Does anyone know why I'm tearing up remembering this. Aahh
#(I'm emotional because I've been feeling bad about it all lately. enjoying things I make I mean—art or ocs or frivilous things.)#(So remembering that song and when it came out. That I couldn't see them in person. But i held onto it my own way. As something I loved)#(Something I still do love a lot... Parts of me saying no—you don't hate it. No. I'll help you remember more. I'm a little misty about it.)#The song is just The Killers - Run For Cover. I couldn't see them in person all those years ago—family went without me.#All my new oc rework with Zin and Hunter and Caia were like a year old or so.#It's a little silly. But the character Zin's derived from was a lightning mage so I stuck to it—I like monhun's zinogre for what its worth#So there's recurring theme and imagery. Thunder's not lightning but the sound and the feeling after the flash the flame and strike.#There's that meaningful thought—the story is the aftermath of a big tragedy. It matches what I like in monsters and other chars.#And at that time—my favourite band I missed out on puts out a really good song I download everywhere and it goes like:#He motioned me to the sky/ I heard heaven and thunder cry/ Run for cover/ Run while you can baby don't look back/ You gotta run for cover#And it goes on of course. The rest of the song's still really good. There's more that fits but point is; More evocative imagery.#So there. Why my bundle of OCs—Zinadia Hunter and Caia's story—is called Thunder 20XX. minus the 20XX. That's tongue-in-cheek#About some day I'll manage to make something tangeable or broadly shareable with them. I guarentee this century!#Thunder... oh my darling Thunder. Eight years man. More than that if I really want to count pre-rework INTO the complete original work. but#I like that it's definably 8. I like that I remembered I've always loved them a lot. Always been my thing to lean on even by name...#I need to get to sleep. Ive gotten a little more emotional over one song than I'd rather regularly be. Give it a listen maybe? Goodnight#Armour clanking#I need an oc tag#What have you gathered to report to your progenitors?🎶Are your excuses any better than your senator's🎶He held a conference#and his wife was standing by his side🎶He did her dirty but no-one died🎶#I saw Sonny Liston on the street last-night black-fisted and strong singing🎶Redemption song🎶#He motioned me to the sky🎶I heard heaven and thunder cry🎶RUN FOR COVER#What are you waiting for—a kiss or an apology?🎶You think by now you'd have an A in toxicology🎶#It's hard to pack the car when all you do is shame us🎶Even harder when the dirtbag's famous🎶#I saw my mother on the street last night all pretty and strong singin🎶The road is long🎶#I said 'Mama I know you tried!'🎶But she fell on her knees and cried🎶RUN FOR COVER#Just run for cover - you've got nothin left to lose...
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Wanted to start working on projects for my part-time school this weekend but instead all I have the energy to do is lay in bed and play mario kart or lay in bed and listen to music
#i started taking meds two days ago and over those two days i've felt even more dead energy-wise than before. if that's even possible#i hope this passes sooner than later because the semester's almost over#and i want to prepare something better to pass this course with than those projects that everyone did in class#and then it will finally (or rather already. time feels fake) be summer and no more obligations of such type. for now#altough i'll admit these last few months were rather easygoing#in terms of stuff i had to do for a set deadline and such#it would have been a much harder time for me otherwise#at least i'm getting this stuff sorted at last. slowly but surely#and enjoying my time gaming and listening to 4-5 albums a day on average as of the last two days#maybe 2024 is the year when my mental health problems finally caught up with me#but then with some dedication and direction i can also start getting out of it for once and for all#like i actually want to be proud of what i've done this year. because it's a lot#and it's things i wouldn't have found myself capable of just a few months ago#like. making this blog and actually sharing my feelings and thoughts somewhere#years of being your own only confidant really messes with your brain and ability to function as an adult it turns out#but yeah i hope i can get this sorted now and the meds help and make it easier to go about my previous plans for making myself feel better#i'll try not to post about this too much but i really needed to get this out today#i know many people vent on tumblr anyway but my brain will always make me feel bad about anything and everything i do lol#vent tag
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