#i'll act fine tomorrow
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i don't want to worry about me
that's too hard
i would rather worry
about someone, anyone else
but
i can't conjure up the emotion
to do even that
what is wrong with me?
all i have
is the reassurance
that if i break
i can help them remain whole
weld them together
holding their shards in place
as i wobble back and forth
held together with school glue
i don't matter in the slightest
i never have
i am the dead
i am the dead
#i don't understand#i've been having good days#it's fine#i'll act fine tomorrow#and it'll all be fine#i'm not important#i don't matter#it's fine as long as they're okay#that's all that matters#you are all that matters#fuck#i'm sorry#tw vent#vent#tw repetition
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Lan Wangji Goes To Lotus Pier AU: Part 3: Enveloping Feelings.
(Part 1, Part 2, Part 4)
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#Yungmeng Jiang training arc AU#I wanted to try out a different paneling style for this one - sorry I'm a day late! (there will still be a post tomorrow to keep on track)#The original 3 panel comic idea was fine but the point of this new schedule was to take time to push myself a bit more.#I was taking a look back through some comic artists I felt inspired by#and I really loved how Lynda Barry fills her gutters with patterns and doodles!#Obviously I'm not going as absolutely wild with it as she does but it was a great exercise!#I truly think the gutters are the most important and most overlooked part of any comic. There's lots going on in that space.#It's the same with timeskips. The implied movement between moments that we don't see changes depending on how wide that gap is#You're here for the funny tags so here's some that ties this time talk together:#I think LWJ was thinking about that second note from day 2 but it took him 7 days of hazing to commit it to paper.#I think he sends it a day later and immediately regrets it. Chasing down the messenger and everything.#You know if something actually happened to his brother he would never ever forgive himself for putting the bad vibes out there.#Third time skip was the hardest because there was so many possible flavours of jokes here. Day 8/9 was a personal favourite.#day 14 was also funny (week by week). I think the debate on 'how long does lwj take to catch feelings' is more or less:#'how long does it take for him to arrive at a particular stage of grief and yearning (and awareness of it all)#This is a symphony. There is an act by act structure. Every day he is fighting to keep his old sensibilities. He is losing so badly.#(I'll be returning to the main comic soon but there is more of this AU to come!)
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was watching my mum responding to text after text getting frustrated because she wanted to make lunch but people wouldn't stop texting her
and i was like just. ignore them? just ignore the texts? i will ignore texts for hours until i feel like responding sometimes it's fine?
anyway my dad called me shallow for that one lmaoooo
#bruh#just because i'm TECHNICALLY available 24/7 doesn't mean i have to act like it#sometimes i will put my phone on charge for a day and forget about it#and then come back to several messages#normally there is none but sometimes i'm like oh i missed something huh#using this example because idk when i put my phone on charge today but i only just remembered it existed#i'll grab it tomorrow or something it's fine#sometimes i will see a message preview from someone and go oh. not urgent. i'll respond once i finish what i'm doing#or god forbid i'll respond when i feel like being available again#IF someone says ANYTHING implying they'll text me soon and want an answer then YES OBVIOUSLY I WILL RESPOND RIGHT AWAY#if i see a message preview that sounds time sensitive THEN YES I WILL RESPOND RIGHT AWAY#NORMALLY I DO RESPOND AS SOON AS I HAVE A MOMENT IN FACT#BUT HAVING A MOMENT IS NOT JUST WHEN I TECHNICALLY HAVE FREE HANDS#if i'm making lunch it can wait. if i'm hanging washing out it can wait. if i'm reading a book i can finish my page. etc etc etc#unless. i'm expecting. an urgent. text. it. can. wait. until. i finish. what. i'm. doing.#technically in any of those examples i can reply immediately my hands and brain can be free in 1 second#bUT I'LL DIE ON THE HILL THAT I CAN FINISH WHAT I'M DOING#admittedly. sometimes i forget by the time i'm done. that's on me. but still#9 times out of 10 i don't reply right away because i don't have my device on me/in front of me anyway#i don't plan on changing that one my bad
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I'm bored, if anyone has a question or something about/for me or my characters send them to my ask box because I would LOVE a distraction :DDD
(Feel free to keep the questions coming all day, I won't have anything better to do lol)
#pspspspsps the three of you that are actually invested in my egg lore. I will literally give you story details if you ask questions.#I have no filter. also some bits of lore are easier like that since I can't do big complicated drawings#I'll be honest this is entirely because I'm working tomorrow and I'm NOT used to it so my body is acting like the world is on fire.#I'll be fine dw.#not a poll#delete later#im scheduling this for when I get up so depending on how good my memory is I might have a fun surprise for myself kkkkkkkkkk
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The URGE to ask my mom if she was done with her tantrum after she insisted on staying in the car after coming to an event my dad and I wanted to go to because she was in a bad mood and had yelled at me because I had made a singular snippy remark at her being a judgmental bitch was almost overwhelming. But I held back.
#relatable?#relatable#toxic mom#my moms a bitch#you wanna act like you have the emotional regulation of a 14 year old#fine then I'll treat you like it too#my mom sucks#my mom needs to calm down#she acts like she never left high school I swear to god#when you get to the age where you become friends with your parents only to realize youd never be friends with your parents#she sucks#oh she needs a fucking exorcism#and tomorrow she'll act like nothing happened
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some not-so-chill stuff went down today so i'm going to get some whiskey neat and go a little ham on the dash, excuse me
#ooc#i'm so depressed i act like it's my birthday!!!#LSKDFJKLSDF i'll be fine tomorrow i'm just whew in a weird zone
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A xwg sequel to the popsicle series, a popsequel if you will.
#bîg's art#spamtum#bîg's regular au#bîg's fem curves au#bîg's green au#xwg#I don't know if eating a whole giant popsicle makes you as big as any of them but does it matter?#This is both au territory and not- in the sense that these are non canon HOWEVER they will reach these sizes eventually.#except for the first one that might become a separate au. I'm kind of in a xwg mood-#so I find it hot to have a situation where he's as big as above and tries to act like nothing is wrong.#also don't worry about fem curves looking panicked- he's very into it hence the pensive 'Huge...'#I'll post these along with the first pics tomorrow- you can reblog it or not it's fine.#wg
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hrrhhhrrmrm...velmgarb...*indistinguishable gnawing noises*
#fisara's scrawlings#I am. crawling on my hands and knees.#one week. after literal years. o n e w e e k.#god. I am unwell.#all the homework I'm looking down the barrel of for this week and next so I might get to play it when it drops has me so upset#like I know I shouldn't pressure myself and I can always wait til thanksgiving break since we get the whole week#and I doubt it'll finish downloading that night anyway#but! I want to play it on release day! I want it to be a new holiday for me! I want to light one of my candles and and and—#i'm consoling myself that if I don't have enough time I'll at least indulge in the character creator and get my rook and inky set up#god fenalan and enaste are going to look so good after I'm done with them :')#I've said this before but for all my non-DA followers I apologize. again.#I will never be the same again after this game releases and I am so sorry lol#I plan on going dark during that time to avoid spoilers as well but I'll post about it closer til#I've been fine with all the stuff so far since it's been act one (according to BW) but I just know that people are going to blaze through i#so I'm terrified of seeing anything late game#I almost always end up spoiling myself on things accidentally before I get to experience them and I want this to be different#that's what I have trouble wrapping my head around.#I don't know what's going to happen. this is all entirely new for me. it will never be the first time I play the game again afterwards. god#someone sedate me.#anyways yeah woohoo for trying to slog through homework tomorrow :')#I am. so tired.#the next couple of weeks are going to be the busiest of the semester I fear#weeeeeeee for my cortisol levels#I need to go to the gym so bad#anyways rant over lol ily whoever decided to read all this lol *blows kiss*
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okay so the tags on that last post got me feeling those melon collies so i'm just gonna. tagdump in here. slightly sensitive topics? so uh. scroll down (or press J to jump to next post). or read my thoughts like the morning paper. sorry. cheers.
#edit: oh cool the mature content warning doesn't actually hide the tags? that's fucked.#i'll drag these to the top hopefully it'll push some lines back#one last space-filler tag for the road - weird brain thoughts afterwards#i dunno i'm just. i do not have a sense of self. i do not have a sense of identity.#essentially anything i can ascribe to myself is worn in the same vein that it fits close enough.#like clothes picked out after hours of unsuccessful shopping and im just tired and want to go home#am i a writer? sure. i write decently. i have a decent grasp of sentence structure. puts me leagues above plenty of other writing i see.#but then when i actually decide that i should write something i'm just filled with dread.#i can't respond to rp's i enjoy with partners i enjoy. i can't write fics about prompts and premises that i like.#am i a gamer? sure. i got multiple consoles; multiple game sources for each console; a backlog of games ive had to catalog.#but when i try to pick one out to play i just. don't want to. nothing appeals. nothing looks fun. i ask for suggestions and i take none.#anything singleplayer i have to stream or it's not fun. anything multiplayer i have to coordinate with others until we get bored.#what do i *do?* what do i *enjoy?*#i can keep myself occupied if needed but at the end of the day im not fulfilled#am i a programmer? that's the closest thing to enjoyment i've gotten in a long time#but do i actually enjoy the act of programming or do i enjoy the result#where at the end of the day i can show off what i made and get lauded with praise#i get a similar sense of satisfaction when im doing tech support and pull something out my ass and everybody goes “whoa how'd you do that”#the analogy that i've used a lot is how in some games at the start it's fine and fun#you're getting progression you're making progress you're learning and earning#but eventually it just. stops. there's more - not just in theory; it's right there! you can see it! - but it's just. so far away.#you can get there EVENTUALLY but it's just a grind. just a slogfest. there's more to unlock. more to explore. just sign in today. tomorrow.#keep coming back. you'll get there. eventually. it'll take forever.#now if this was an ACTUAL video game people would recommend that you stop and step away. does it spark joy? no? stop playing.#but ah. i can't quite stop playing this one.#and don't worry! i don't plan on putting down the controller! even though i mope and grump and weirdtalk my way down this hill#there is ZERO chance of me doing that.#but i ah. don't have a desire to keep playing.#it's a weird middle state to be in. don't wanna put down the controller. don't want to keep playing. i am just sitting here.#ive been attributing my more frequent thoughts on the matter to the whole roommate situation
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#Today is for me closer to “it's going to be different but it's going to be okay”#I'm just mostly fine today?#I'll surely cry a lot later#but today is so so so much better#I've worked really really hard for better#making peace#doing things that would make me feel better and creating meaning#(and other people have done a lot for me here I don't wanna act like I'm some island who has stood alone - none of this would be possible#if it weren't for the love#solidarity#work#and a gentle insistence that I also have to do better even if some folks were being unfair that my loved ones have offered)#and like I'm still scared of a bunch of stuff and hurting#I'm not out here wearing the shirts I haven't worn in two months or something#I think I still can't do a breathing exercise without panicking#but like I've had a normal day?#like completely unproductive and disorganized#Literally I think 'I'm healing'#not 'I'm OK'#But you know what a fine day is still better#I've had like 3 of those in the last sixty days#so like today is a top 5% day#Seriously 'fine' feels so good right now#No idea how I'll feel tomorrow#Might be as good might be much worse#And it'll never be the same - It might be years until I'm as secure in terms of friendship as I was before all this#But I can live with this#I can and I have to
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#ive decided to give myself until 30 and if things are the same im giving myself permission to give up#might be earlier but i can be a little bit optimistic right?#nights like tonight make me want to rethink my timeline though#5 more years of this? not sure if i'll be able to do it ngl#im so sick of putting on an act and convincing people i interact with that everything is fine#when im just thinking about how it would feel to take my box cutter to my neck instead of my wrist#i actually did the other night#no pressure but just to see if it would make me rethink things#it didnt#i still think about it#it feels like because i have good days and good weeks that the bad ones are fake#or they're less worthy or something? like because sometimes i feel ok the times when i cant do it are just overreactions#one of these days im going to overreact to something and thatll be it#tw sui ideation#nobody reads this shit anyway but might as well#have to go into town to work with my team tomorrow and i'll have to pretend to be ok all day#its fucking exhausting#im not even good at my job but if i get fired im jumping off a roof#god i just want a hug#ignore me its fine
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i wish tumblr would let me put 2 videos in one post so i could post a comparison of how Chicory was acting normal and then 48 hours later was acting. not okay.
mostly so i could just point at it and go 'why are rats like this'
#thankfully she is doing better after i have given her a few doses of some of kyle's medicine#because. the way she was acting weird. makes me think it's probably also a pituitary tumor like he had :/#i know i'm being that annoying person that vets hate by diagnosing my pets myself#but when you have had 27 rats and your vet isn't able to see your rat until like 5 days later anyway#i think you should be allowed to do this. it took her 48 hours to go from completely fine to wobbly and lethargic#i can't just wait 120 more hours to hear what's actually wrong. she'd probably just be dead by then.#i haven't given her any of the cabergoline yet because i wanted to be sure she would actually improve with the pred#therefore making it more likely that i am correct on that being what's wrong. but i'm gonna try to give the last pill of kyle's to her#tomorrow morning. i don't have the good stuff that he would take it with tho so i hope she is much less pickly lol.#either way based on how long it took Kyle to show symptoms > when he got to the vet#Chicory. should hopefully. be okay. not sure what i'll do if she's not tbh!!!!!!!!!!#like ffs sakes couldn't you guys have at least waited a whole month. it's not even been a month since Kyle.#new rat ramblings#*new creative post tag here*
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A Helping Hand- C.S
summary: the triplets are staying over at y/n's house and chris over hears something he shouldn't and decides to give her a helping hand. BLURB.
cw: cursing, SMUT; f!masturbation, getting caught masturbating, fingering
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"Oh!" Y/n gasps into her left hand as her right hand is occupied by rubbing her clit. She had to be quiet as she had company staying over at her house. Her two fingers slid from her clit into her tight hole. "Fuck!" Her fingers stretched her slightly.
Her room was filled with her heavy breathing, little whimpers here and there, and the sounds her her fingers entering and exiting her wet pussy. Curling her fingers up, she let out a loud moan. Her fingers stilled and she tried to listen if there was any movement outside her room. All she could hear was the loud beating of her heart.
She continued fucking her fingers in and out of her. Chris, woke up in the room next to her. He looked out the window and saw it was still pitch black outside. He rubbed his eyes and turned over to the side table and grabbed his phone to check the time. 1:27am. It read. He yawned, sitting up and stretching. He grabbed the cup of water he had brought up earlier but it was empty.
"Damn." He sighed. He got up, grabbed the cup and left the guest room. He passed Y/n's room and went down the stairs. As he made his way to the her kitchen. He passed by the living room and saw Nick and Matt sleeping on an inflatable bed even though there was two more lonely bedrooms upstairs.
In the kitchen, he filled his cup and downed it. Putting it in the sink he went back upstairs. However, when he passed by her room. He heard a noise. Was she hurt? Was the first thing he thought. Concerned, he knocked on her door. "Y/n?" He murmured.
Y/n gasped and her heart dropped. Did Chris hear her? She quickly put her panties back on and got up, her long t shirt covered her. She went to her door and opened it, slightly out of breath. "H-hey Chris." She smiled nervously. "Hey, you okay in there?" He furrows his eyebrows. "Me? Oh, I'm fine. I- I'm fine." She nodded.
Chris stayed quiet for a second until his eyes widened in realization. "Oh shit, you were. I'm so sorry, I- fuck. I'll let you- see you tomorrow morning." Chris stumbled over his words and left before Y/n could say anything.
Y/n felt embarrassed. So embarrassed. Chris technically caught her masturbating. She laid flat on her bed, replaying the awkward moment over and over in her head. How was she going to act normal in front of him in the morning- forever! She wished a giant hole would open up in her bed and take her.
Chris, sat with his leg bouncing up and down. He was itching to go back. To do something, help her. As much as he doesn't was to think about it, he got hard at the thought of Y/n touching herself in the next room over. Did she continue after he left?
"Fuck it." He said and got up getting out of the guest room. He didn't care to knock, he barged into her room. Y/n, startled, sat up as he closed and locked the door behind him. "Chris? What are you-" She was cut off by him walking over to her and smashing his lips against hers.
"Need a hand, baby?" He bit her bottom lip. She nodded desperately. "Words, sweetheart. C'mon." He pulled away from her. "Yes, Chris." She whined. Chris looked down and saw that her tshirt had ridden up and he could see a bit of her white panties. He sat against her headboard and signaled for her to put her back against his chest.
She understood and did. Once she was situated, he started off by nibbling on her neck. "Such a dirty girl, touching yourself while I'm in the room next to you. Almost as if you wanted me to hear those pretty moans of yours." She sighed in pleasure. He pulled away from her neck and smirking proudly at the red marks littered along her neck.
His hand came up to her tshirt covered tit and squeezed it. He slid his hand down and Y/n's eyes followed. His fingertips stopped at the lace of her underwear. Her breath stilled, just wanting him to touch her where she needed him the most. "Can I?" He whispered in her ear. "Please, Chris. I need you to touch me." With that, he somehow slid her panties and the cold breeze hit her wet center.
Two of his fingers circled her clit and she threw her head back and moaned loudly. "Shh, can't let them hear you, now can we?" He continued touching her puffy clit. Chris stared at his fingers touching her pussy in awe. She was so warm, so slick. He wanted a taste. His fingers collected some of her arousal and he brought them up to his mouth. "Mm," He hummed. "Taste so so sweet, have you ever tasted yourself?" She shook her head. He did the same thing, but instead brought his fingers up to her mouth.
"Open up, baby." He cooed. She looked up at him and opened her mouth, sticking her tongue out. He placed his fingers on the pad of her tongue and she closed her mouth around them and swirled her tongue and sucked on his fingers, tasting herself. "You taste good, don't you?" She nodded. "How good do you taste? Tell me." He took his fingers out, now wet with her saliva.
"So good, Chris. So good." She said and he smirked, placing his lips on her for the second time. Chris could taste her on her tongue. He sucked on her tongue and put his fingers back on her pussy. "Can I add a finger?" He pulled away, a string of saliva connecting them. "Yes, please, I need it." His fingertip slide down to her hole and circled it before slowly inserting it. "Oh, Chris." She sighed, throwing her head back on his shoulder.
"Mm-mm. Lift your head up. I want you to see how good your pussy takes my fingers." He says before inserting his middle finger. She picks up her head and looks down at her pussy and sees his fingers going in and out of her. "You take them so well. I can feel you squeezing my fingers." He kissed her temple. "Fuck!" She covered her mouth to muffled her moans.
"Doing so good for me." He groaned, seeing as his finger came out glistening and going back in for more. "Drenching the fuck outta' my fingers." Y/n arched her back off of his chest as she was nearing her climax "Are you close?" He planted a wet kiss to her neck.
"So close. Don't stop, don't stop, don't stop." She chanted, rolling her hips against his fingers. With a few more pumps of his fingers she comes undone. "I'm cumming! Holy shit!" She gasps, continuing to ride her high against his hand.
"You did so good f'me, Y/n. So good." He kissed her lips as he slid his fingers out of her.
#chris sturniolo#chris sturniolo fanfic#chris sturniolo smut#chris sturniolo x you#chris sturniolo x reader#chris x y/n#chris x reader#chris smut#christopher sturniolo#matt sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#nick sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#matt sturniolo fanfic#matt sturniolo headcanon#matthew sturniolo smut#matt sturniolo blurb#matthew sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo smut#matt x y/n#matt x reader#matthew sturniolo#sturniolo smut#chris sturiolo fanfic#sturniolo fanfic#sturniolo x reader
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Req: Can you write something with Ewan Mitchell and his co-star (pronounced feminine) where they are on the set of season 2 and how he is surprised by every performances that fem gives (Fem's character is bad and perverse), since since the recordings of season one he was already staring at her surprised by her actings and now with Season 2 he wants to spend more time with her, plus he likes her.
The Rehearsal// Ewan Mitchell x Fem!actress
Summary: Ewan is a method actor and it has been working fine for him. But he regrets this decision when season 2 of HOTD starts with a love scene, being partner with a lovely talented actress who propaply hates him and his mathods. But nothing is better than asking for help when one needs it, right?
|~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~|
Ewan watched from the monitor, patch removed but wig still on, your close-up was impressive. One look at you and you could see all the ambitions that were going through your character's mind, and he himself regretted not having told you yet. The good news was that filming for season two had just begun, and in this new season, Ewan had the opportunity to do scenes only with you.
They shouted cut, and you immediately broke into a smile, laughing after such an intense scene. You received compliments as you were photographed to keep the raccord straight.
"Congratulations, that's a good start," the director said to you. "Remember you have a special sequence tomorrow, get a good rest."
Yes, you remembered. And Tom (who played your brother Aegon) smiled mischievously at you. It was a kissing scene with Ewan, with whom you had barely exchanged a word since the moment you were confirmed as part of the cast, a year and a half ago. You only spoke a little at the audition, which was a chemistry test, and he was a sweet, unassuming guy. When he was announced as the official actor of Aemond... it was something different. You didn't interact in the scenes in the first season, his scenes were shared more with Fabien and Tom, while you had shared scenes with Olivia and Phia (Alicent and Helaena). The chemistry your characters were supposed to have was only hinted by the placement of you both in the scene or montages of shots that you only saw once the series was released. And in the meantime, Ewan had stayed away from all those with whom he didn't share any dialogue, with the excuse of staying focused on his character. Tom had already told you numerous times that Ewan thought you were a fantastic actress, but you always responded the same way.
"If he does, let him tell me so. Then I'll be flattered.”
When the script for the second season came, both of you, in your respective homes, had your hearts skipped a beat. Your character would approach Aemond in the throne room in the middle of the night. And there they not only talk, but share a kiss that promises to go further in the following seasons. Aemond confessed his love for your character, and being that it was a story taken from the world of Game of Thrones, it was sure to end in much more intimate scenes. Normal for actors and comfortable for a cast that was so friendly and close. But with Ewan being so distant and serious? It was difficult. You didn't even dare to call him. Nor did he call you. What you did do was call Tom.
"She hasn't spoken to me once since we started filming. I've seen her look at me sometimes, like she's trying to talk to me but then, before I could say a word, she's gone quiet again. Tom...I don't think I should take being a method actor so seriously," he said to the other actor.
"It amuses me immensely to be the connecting point for both of you. Don't worry, Ewan, she's a sweetheart, and very understanding. She knows that everyone has their own procedure. So if she has respected your method, you should respect hers."
"And what is her procedure?"
"According to Phia, she loves to walk back and forth repeating her lines in a thousand ways."
Right, Ewan saw the video Phia sent around the group so everyone could see how lunatic you looked. And even there, after discovering you were being filmed, you smiled tenderly at Phia asking her to stop. What else would he have missed since you weren't talking?
You had already taken off your wig, your hair was loose and your dress had been off for quite a while. You were waiting to take off your make-up when your trailer was called. You were expecting anyone, happy to have any interaction with the wonderful team around you, but when you saw Ewan, the smile must have dropped a little.
"Sorry if I'm intruding. Is it late?" Ewan asked you as he saw your friendly greeting getting lost in the air.
It wasn't dark yet, and the next day's filming was starting early, so you genuinely didn't know what to say to him.
"Well... I have to finish off some of the lines for tomorrow.’
The lines you had to say with him, and he knew that. But since that wasn't an invitation, Ewan understood instantly and nodded.
"Well, I just wanted to tell you...it's been an awesome first day of shooting for you. It's no wonder you're a fan favorite."
That made you blush.
"Well, that means a lot coming from you."
He smiled sheepishly at you, you were taller than he was, standing on the trailer and he was on the grass a few stairs down. And yet he seemed way too big.
"I promise I'll be on time tomorrow so we'll have plenty of time to rehearse," he said, trying to get out of the strange conversation he had started.
You nodded and watched as he walked away, the patch in his hand and taking off his seatbelts. Did he come with the intention of chatting? My God, you'd had a chance to talk at length with your fellow cast member and you'd wasted it? You needed to go over the scene as much as possible!
"Ewan!" You called out to him, hanging almost on your doorstep, he turned with that agility that is so engaging on screen (and in person). "Are you done for the day?"
"I've got to get out of my costume. But...yes, I'm done."
"Would you mind..." you mumbled in an exaggeratedly loud voice for him to hear. How embarrassing. "Would you mind dropping by again to rehearse?"
Ewan stood still for a second. He watched you from afar, so affectionate and shy, totally contrary to your character, and felt a deep tenderness.
"I'll be back in half an hour," he promised you.
You looked forward to it, and you'd be lying if you didn't say that you'd put your make-up back on a bit. Ewan, on the other hand, was hurrying more than usual to remove his own clothes, forgetting to remove his fake scars in the rush that followed him. He was punctual, and in thirty and a half minutes, he was knocking on your door again.
"I really appreciate you doing this, Ewan," you said as he climbed into your trailer.
"Don't worry, it's going to be fun."
You looked at each other for a second, smiling, kind of gawking, which was nothing like the scene you had to recreate.
"How do you prepare for a scene?" You ask.
"I listen to some music. But I want to try what you do. "
He looked at you expectantly, and you suddenly felt embarrassed. Like the girls at the school function.
"So... I close my eyes, and I create a map where everything looks a little bit like the set."
"And what do we choose to be the throne?" Ewan smiled, which made you blush even more.
"Well... "There was a fully finished teacup, with the inelegantly squeezed bag next to it, dripping. You'd forgotten to clean it up completely. "That cup itself."
Ewan frowned slightly, teasingly, and nodded. The next step for you was harder to explain.
"Now, Ewan, I need some space."
He sat down on your couch, script to one side, the bastard having already memorized it all. And from there he watched live what he'd been craving for months, watching you pace back and forth. You read the annotations and your lines.
"They will never forgive our family for what I did," Ewan replied, intoning in the silky voice he gave Aemond.
"If it's any consolation, I doubt they would be willing to let us live even if we had given them the throne willingly, Aemond..." though you paced, your hands and gestures maintained theatricality, and you repeated the phrase three more times, all with trapped deliberation. "This pantomime of repentance can only convince Mother...but not me."
"What pantomime do you mean?" replied Aemond.
Then your character stopped looking at Aemond to stare at the Throne. In this case you stopped to stare at the ugly teacup. You had to hold back a smile. Ewan looked at it too.
"It's impossible to fool you, it always has been." Ewan got up from the sofa and approached you, as Aemond does with your character. "It is a crude, chaotic and ugly object, but always that which I have desired."
Then the laughter you'd been holding back escaped, unable to think of the mug as anything else. And Ewan laughed with you, all the tension disappearing instantly. Now he could understand the affection with which everyone spoke of you.
"I'm sorry, really," you said, getting serious again. "I'm sorry."
"Don't apologise, this is fun. I'm going to try your method. Shall we close our eyes?"
"That's right."
You closed them at the same time, thinking about the huge room, illuminated by a silver light that simulated the moon. And after a few seconds, Ewan opened his eyes to look at you. Although you didn't have your white hair, or the elegant dress, your eyes were the same, as beautiful and bright as they were behind the cameras. And he had the privilege of being the focus of your attention and having them in the foreground.
"Though I think I was always more subtle with another of my longings..." he whispered close to your lips.
"That you tried at least" you whispered back.
"When I get the throne I'll need someone as sharp as you to accompany me. There is no woman in the seven kingdoms who compares to you."
Then came the kiss. You looked into Ewan's eyes, up his nose and down to his lips. What was there left to throw yourself? Not much, but with him being so reclusive, with that being one of the few times you spoke to each other, it felt strange to pounce on him without consent. So you walked away, leaving the scene there.
"We can work this out with the director and the intimacy coordinator, if you like," Ewan suggested, a little flushed and extremely sweet.
You poured him a cup of tea while you discussed the romance that your characters might have developed over the years that the series skips. You imagined romantic scenes that might have led up to that kiss and concluded that they were a toxic couple, but possibly better than Rhaenyra and Daemon.
"You know, I love the way you act and I love that I discovered your process," he confessed. "I think the admiration part is not going to be too hard to act out."
"Oh...my process is really ridiculous, everyone laughs at me. I'm glad it at least works. But it gives me a hard time at auditions," you laughed nervously.
"Well, it's true that it's fun to watch. But it's certainly worth it. I don't think you have anything to envy the others, you're...magnetic." He said it with a seriousness that moved you, adding to his intense gaze. "I'm sorry I wasn't smart enough to tell you sooner, because I've been thinking about it since the day they put me in the same room you were in, back at the audition.”
You froze a little, so you just said what you felt in the simplest way and with the most honest smile.
"Thank you."
Ewan took the last sip of his tea and before he left you remembered one of the thousand questions you had for him.
"Is there a reason you haven't removed the scar? Something to do with method acting?"
"Scar?"
You touched his cheek, where the scar began, and Ewan understood instantly.
"Ah, gee, I completely forgot to go through makeup. I'll get a telling off tomorrow."
"Not if you sleep on it until tomorrow" you joked. "Let me help you, I love fake wounds."
You stood next to him, towering over him a little, and lifted the thin layer of silicone with the delicacy you had seen in make-up artists. You were envious of the woman who was in charge of characterising a person as curiously attractive as Ewan. He also smelled exaggeratedly good.
When you took it off, you threw it into the creepy teacup from earlier.
"I've almost run out from, the costume department before," he justified himself. You took the opportunity to wipe that part of her face with a makeup remover wipe. "I usually do this part myself..."
"I know, but I like it..."
And while you were stroking his face with the excuse of cleaning it, Ewan was watching your lips, and didn't notice that you had noticed. You pushed the wipe away, stroking his chin, and at the same time, you both pressed your lips together. A strange kiss, something special, sweet and soft. You stretched it out, standing almost still, afraid of what would happen if you broke apart. When you finally did, you looked at each other with a look of confusion, though neither you nor Ewan pulled away.
It was a dangerous idea, he was your partner, and you had been unprofessional. You broke away.
"I think you should rest. I've distracted you too much." Your tone came out agitated and Ewan rose slowly.
"No, it's all right. I liked it. I liked everything. Didn't you?" He had emphasised the word 'everything' and was looking at you with lambent eyes.
"Yes...I loved being with you."
He said goodbye with a smile of his, and you bowed at your door like a little girl. Most of the team had already gone to rest and you barely noticed.
You had to put on more concealer than usual the next day because of the lack of sleep you'd had from that strange kiss. Ewan had kept his promise and had arrived a good while earlier to re-rehearse the scene. You did it without the kiss or the lights, just with the director's instructions and with your cheeks flushed as you exchanged glances.
"Did you practice with the kiss?" the intimacy coordinator asked you.
You were completely silent. Ewan answered for you.
"Not really, maybe it's better to give a first kiss at the moment of the shot. More realism."
"Well, then I guess you've worked out the sexual tension and dynamics of your characters."
Ewan nodded and smiled, which made you smile. Had he put hours of sleep into your little meeting yesterday? Yes, he had, and he told the woman who was putting on his scar who asked him who had removed it the day before. When you returned to the set, lights on, costumes on, cameras rolling, Ewan looked at you in the distance, asking you with his eyes if you were ready. You nodded with a shy smile, and began to act when they shouted action.
Aemond, still dressed and coming from the castle library, walked into the empty throne room to watch you. You walked behind him, in a smart dressing gown, your hair loose and trying uselessly not to make a sound. Aemond then spoke aloud.
"They will never forgive our family for what I did."
You approached Ewan, who still wouldn't look at you.
"If it's any consolation, I doubt they would be willing to let us live even if we had given them the throne willingly, Aemond..." You leaned into him a little, as the director had recommended. He was so tall and so tense that you felt as safe as if you were leaning against a stone pillar. "This pantomime of repentance can only convince Mother...but not me." Then Aemond would look down to see you out of the corner of his eye, which made your character - and you - nervous.
"What pantomime do you mean?"
Then you looked at the throne, now there was no laughter to disturb you, only the terrible seat of swords before you. And Aemond was looking at it too.
"It's impossible to fool you, it always has been. It is a brutish, chaotic, ugly object, but always that which I have desired."
After a pause, he turned fully around to look at you, his height becoming primordial in that short distance. In that low light, Ewan's visible eye looked into your eyes, dropping to your lips subtly.
"Though I think I was always more subtle with another of my longings..." he whispered in his velvety tone.
"That you tried at least" you replied trying to keep your composure. If they knew how hard you were struggling not to fall to your knees at that moment they would have nominated you for an Emmy by now.
"When I get the throne I'll need someone as clever as you to accompany me. There is no woman in the seven kingdoms who compares to you."
He stroked your face gently, something that coming from Ewan was tender and expected, immensely pleasing, but then you remembered that Aemond could never be so gentle in the face of his urges, and you let your own out. You pressed yourself against him, pressing your lips together with all the assurance you had longed for the night before. You could feel Ewan intensify your kiss even more, placing his hand on your neck. All the possible kisses that had been going on in your head during the night were now dwarfed by the kiss that was happening right there. As fierce as your characters, with the longing you had just discovered that you and Ewan had shared for a year and a half.
It was only when they shouted 'cut' that you broke apart, catching your breath and barely breaking away. Some applause, chatter and comments from the team, you could hear little of what they were saying. You pulled away flushed, laughing at the sudden intensity. You looked at the director as Ewan smoothed his jacket.
"Let's look at the shot, I think it was simply perfect, congratulations."
Another round of applause, and you felt Ewan brush your unruly hair out of your face, stroking it as he ruffled your hair.
"What a pity not to have to repeat this scene..." He confessed.
"That's the thing about being so talented," you joked.
"Obviously..." he removed his patch and turned back to you to ask in a quieter voice, "although I'd love to have more private acting classes with you..."
You smiled at the hint.
"I'll give them to you if in exchange you let me remove your fake scars again."
"Deal."
#house of the dragon#house of the dragon fanfiction#aemond targaryen#ewan mitchell#aemond one eye#prince aemond#aemond targaryen x reader#aemond targaryen imagine#hotd x reader#ewan mitchell fanfic#ewan mitchell x reader#celebrities x reader#house of the dragon imagines#hotd#hotd imagine#hotd fanfic#house of the dragon x reader#house of the dragon aemond
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He wished he could say he knew it was a bad idea before it happened, but he didn't.
It wasn't until the saw blade had sliced straight down his leg and the blood started seeping onto his pants and pooling on the garage floor that he realized hey, maybe I should have been a little more careful.
Still, without allowing himself to panic, he made himself a tourniquet before getting into his truck and heading toward the hospital.
“I was going through your files, Thomas,” Tommy's nurse, Angela, said as she walked into his room, “and you have a blank space where your emergency contact should be. Why's that?”
“Well good morning to you too, Angela,” Tommy replied, plastering on a grin. “Lovely to see you, as always.”
She cocked her head to the side, resting a hand on her hip. “Mhm. You need an emergency contact, Thomas.”
“Nobody calls me Thomas, Angela.”
“And nobody calls me Angela, Thomas.”
Tommy pushed himself up in the bed, wincing slightly at the pain that radiated down his leg. “What do they call you then? Angie? Ang? Ella?”
“This is serious, Mr. Kinard.”
“Angel?”
Angela sighed. “With your career, it's very important to have an emergency contact on file.” She moved closer to him, maneuvering the tray table over his lap and setting some paperwork down with a pen. “Get to writing.”
“Okay, okay,” he relented, picking up the pen. She waited as his hand hovered over the form. After a few seconds, he blinked up at her. “What's your number?”
“I find it very hard to believe that a pretty boy like you doesn't have at least one name and number he can drag from his phone to that piece of paper right there.”
“Is that a no on your number?”
“As long as no infection gets in that leg, you'll be out of here tomorrow,” she said, ignoring his question. “You have to have a ride or we can't release you.”
“Oh, come on,” Tommy whined, “I drove myself here!”
“Which was stupid!” She replied. “A gash that big, nearly to the bone. You're lucky you didn't bleed out on your way in.”
“My tourniquet skills are unmatched.”
“Well your common sense skills could use some work.” She took a look at her watch, let out another sigh. “I'll leave the paperwork with you. I'll be back in two hours to change your dressing and give you some meds.” She tapped on the paper, “I want a name and a number when I get back.”
Tommy grinned up at her, “Yes, Ma'am.”
He kept the smile on his face until she was out of the room, then he dropped the act. He tossed the pen down and pushed the tray away from him, pressing the button on the side of his bed so he'd be lying down.
Carefully, as to not disturb his leg, he turned onto his side and closed his eyes, letting sleep take over.
*****
When Tommy woke up nearly an hour later, it was due to loud noises across the hall.
Laughter.
A lot of it.
There was some shushing, and things quieted down for a minute, then it started back up again. It almost sounded like they were having a party over there.
When another round of laughter started, Tommy decided to get up and take a look at what was causing all the commotion.
Moving around too much wasn't recommended after the surgery and stitches he had to have for the gash on his leg, but he was tired of doing nothing and the door wasn't that far away.
Cautiously, he sat up and swung his legs around until he was sitting on the edge of the bed. He pushed himself up, groaning slightly at the pain.
He clenched his teeth together and took a step, barely tiptoeing with his left foot to keep as much pressure on the right as he could.
He managed to make it to the door in five steps, leaning against the frame as he stared at the room across the hall.
The door was halfway open, filled with more people than Tommy thought was allowed in a room. He could see flowers on a corner table, and balloons nearby with GET WELL SOON written on them.
A man peeked around the corner, his smile turning into a grimace. “Sorry!” he exclaimed. “We're trying to keep it down over here.”
“Oh, you're fine,” Tommy assured him, motioning to his leg. “Needed to move around a bit.”
“Our boy over here just had surgery on his leg too,” the man said. “Trying to cheer him up since he'll be out of office for a couple months.”
Tommy forced a smile. “That's nice. Please, don't mind me. I'm not gonna be making it much further than here, just needed to get out of bed.”
“Alright. Feel better, Man.”
Tommy nodded. “Thanks.”
As the man disappeared back behind the door, Tommy turned back to his room. It'd been three days since his surgery, but there wasn't a balloon in sight. No flowers, no stuffed animals, no people. Nothing.
It was fine though. It wasn't like he needed those things. His captain had texted him that all his shifts had been covered, not to worry. A couple of coworkers had sent him teasing messages about hurting himself off the clock.
That was enough.
As he got back to the bed and laid down, he grabbed his phone off of the tray table. He was forever thankful to Angela for going downstairs to the gift shop on his first day in recovery to get him a charger.
He opened up the Uber app and clicked through all the steps to schedule a ride home tomorrow. He'd come back sometime soon to pick up his truck.
Once that was settled, he looked at the time. Angela would be back soon, and expecting a name and number on that piece of paper.
With a very dramatic eye roll, he grabbed the pen and quickly wrote down a name and a number.
*****
Twenty minutes after changing his dressing and getting his paperwork, Angela walked back into the room with a glare on her face. “You can't have Uber's corporate number as your emergency contact, Tommy.”
He gave her his award winning smile. “Hey, you called me Tommy!”
“I'm being serious with you. Who is Gary P.? Did you make him up?”
“Absolutely not,” Tommy gasped, feigning offense. “Gary P. is the lovely man who will be taking me home tomorrow. For the low, low price of $42.35. That's before tip, of course.”
“So you put your Uber driver down and added the corporate number?”
“You're in the wrong field, Angela,” Tommy said, wiggling his finger toward her. “You should be a detective.”
Tommy hadn't asked, but he was pretty sure by the face Angela was giving him that she was a mother. “What is this?” she asked. “Too macho to let anyone know you're hurt?”
“I've actually worked very hard to rid myself of toxic masculinity, thank you very much.”
“Tommy-”
“You've been a nurse a long time, Angela,” Tommy interrupted, beginning to feel a little irritated by her refusal to let it go. “I'm sure I'm not your first patient without an emergency contact.”
“You're not,” she agreed. “But with your job, you could have your captain or a coworker-”
“If I get hurt on the job, my captain and coworkers will already know. I'm not going to have them running down to the hospital because I didn't properly secure a saw. I texted my captain that I'd be out of commission for a while, he texted back. It's all good.”
“A parent?”
“No mom.”
“Your dad then?”
He let out a humorless laugh. “Angela, please, don't joke like that.”
“If something serious were to happen to you, you need someone on the form.”
Tommy rested his head against the pillow and stared up at the ceiling. “If something serious were to happen to me, let it happen,” he said. “We're all gonna die anyway, don't need anyone to watch.”
He could feel her watching him. Could sense the pity. He closed his eyes, hoping she got the hint.
After a few seconds, he heard her shuffling around, and when he opened his eyes again, she was gone.
*****
Gary P. wasn't exactly the kindest man Tommy had ever met. He seemed frustrated that he had to pick Tommy up in the first place, as if he hadn't accepted the ride. He was impatient, huffy, took two wrong turns, and practically shooed Tommy out of the car the second they arrived at his house.
“You know, Gary,” Tommy said as he pushed the car door open and took a wobbly step onto his driveway, “I'm beginning to regret putting you as my emergency contact.”
Before Gary could even register what Tommy had said, he slammed the door and turned toward his house.
As soon as he got inside, he headed for the couch. He tossed down his keys, phone, and the bag of pain meds from the hospital pharmacy before sitting down himself. He propped his leg up on the coffee table and leaned his head back, closing his eyes and falling asleep.
When he woke back up it was due to a throbbing in his leg. He couldn't help the moan that escaped him as he tried to pull himself back up from the slumped position he'd sunk into.
He reached over for his meds and grabbed the bottle out of the bag, popping off the lid and shaking out one of the pills into his palm.
He needed water. He'd never been able to swallow pills without a drink of some kind. But water was all the way in the kitchen and the kitchen felt very far away right now. Especially when he could feel his heart beating in his leg.
Still, he knew the pain would only get worse if he didn't get up. So, he stood and his groans turned into whimpers with each step he took.
He ignored the pain as best as he could, stopping when he reached the fridge to lean against it with his hands gripping the door handle.
After letting himself take a few deep breaths, he opened the fridge and grabbed a water. He opened the bottle quickly and swallowed the pill, feeling a slight vindication at the fact that he'd done it and he could go back and rest again.
And that's when it hit him. Standing in the middle of his kitchen, staring back toward the living room, it hit him all at once.
He'd need to fix himself something to eat soon, or order something at least. Either way, he'd be walking to the kitchen or the front door. He needed to go to the bathroom. Needed a shower. Needed to rewrap his leg. He desperately wanted to sleep in his bed but wasn't sure if he could get back up after he laid down. Then he remembered he was in the middle of washing his sheets when he hurt himself so they were still in the washer, probably soured, which meant he needed to get his spare set of sheets out of the linen closet and make his bed.
He'd have to get another Uber in a day or two to go pick up his truck. God, what if he got Gary again? He needed to let his captain know when he'd be back at work. Needed to remember to get a release form when he went back to the doctor for a checkup. He needed to go grocery shopping. He needed to make sure all his bills were paid for the month. He needed... he needed help.
He needed someone.
He was so damn tired.
His eyes burned as he rested his elbows on his countertop, digging the palms of his hands into his eyes.
He was fine.
It was fine.
He didn't need anybody.
The couch would be fine for tonight.
He'd figure everything else out on his own.
He'd always figured everything out on his own.
This was no different. He just needed the pain to stop and to get some rest and he'd be fine.
With a deep breath, he straightened up. He ignored his blurry, wet eyes as he took each pain-filled step back to the couch. And if a few tears fell down his face on the way, well, at least no one would ever know.
*****
It took three and a half weeks before his leg was healed enough for him to return to work.
There was no big fanfare on his first day back, which he was thankful for.
A couple of people gave him a high five and asked him how gnarly the scar was. One guy told him he was forced to take three of his shifts, so Tommy owed him. His captain kept him on light duty and told him to make sure he let him know if he felt any pain.
Other than that, it was a regular day.
Another week passed until he could go back up in the chopper. He was thankful to be back in the air again. Back where he belonged. He could forget everything when he was in the air.
Just focus on flying. That's the way he liked it.
It was in the middle of his second shift back as pilot when his phone buzzed in his pocket.
He stared at the name that lit up on his screen, eyebrows furrowed in confusion before answering.
“Howie? What's up, Man?”
“Hey, Tommy! Long time no talk, I know, but I, uh, I got a big favor to ask.”
#tommy kinard#911#bucktommy#(not really though)#lonely tommy my beloved#this was not everything I wanted it to be but my niece wants to go to bed and I wanted to post this tonight#so it is what it is#enjoy!
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Want Some Help? | Jeon Jungkook One Shot
Summary: When your boyfriend can't seem to satisfy you anymore your roommate decides to lend a helping hand. Pairing: f!reader x Jungkook (crackhead roommate energy) Word Count: 4.7k (got a little carried away but when don't I 😂) Warnings: Explicit language, smut and cheating. He spits in her mouth at the end lol and hella pet names. Aight that's all you're getting lol gotta read the rest to find out. a/n: This is the last thing I'll be posting before I go on a little hiatus. I'll make a post in a couple of days to explain but I'll let this circulate a bit before I do. I hope you enjoy it! (barely edited lol) Requested by a lovely anon 💜
The sounds in my room are obscene to say the least, more from Brian's side than mine today though. I don't know what it is but something about him isn't doing it for me anymore. Is it the fact that I have a new Adonis for a roommate? Perhaps, but Brian's need to overcompensate for it makes situations like these even more awkward than they need to be.
"You like that?" he asks, him being so close to cumming with me barely working my way up to it. "Yeah" I respond breathily, trying my best to play the part so this can hopefully be over sooner rather than later. "Fuck" he groans at the sight and sound of my little gasp when he just barely hits that spot but I know he won't be able to figure out how to do it again.
Brian isn't a selfish lover but the dynamic between us has changed ever since Jungkook moved in...
He hasn't been as focused on me which now that I think about it is pretty damn selfish. I'm just making excuses for him at this point. He's more focused on his ego and playing it up for my roommate than he is into loving his girlfriend. I don't know how much longer I can be in this relationship if he keeps acting like this.
"Shit I'm close, are you?" he asks and I nod my head furiously, thanking whoever might've been listening to my plea and seconds later he's cumming inside the condom and I do my best to copy the moan that I let out when he's actually done a good job at satisfying me and it seems to be convincing enough since he's giving me that cocky grin before he kisses me again.
"You wanna shower?" he asks and I shake my head, "You go ahead, I'll shower later. Plus, didn't you say you had work early tomorrow morning? I'll let you get cleaned up in peace so you can head out" I say and he nods his head before going to the bathroom and throwing me a towel before closing the door and turning on the shower.
Luckily he didn't try to clean me up because there's definetly not much to clean since I didn't cum.
Once I'm finished and I've made myself somewhat presentable I put on my robe and head out into the kitchen to grab myself a glass of water. "Have fun?" my roommate says from the living room couch as I pass by on my way to the kitchen. "Shit Jungkook you scared me" I say, holding my hand to my chest.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to. Have a good time tonight?" he asks again, his eyes dragging up and down my form, lingering on my chest and when I look down I see that my nipples are very visible unbeknownst to me since I hadn't cared to think about the fact that Jungkook might've come home.
I wrap my robe tighter around me and cross my arms as I head into the kitchen. "Yes I did thank you very much. Did you?" I spit out quickly, hoping to avoid talking about my sex life with him. "It was alright. I had a long week so I decided to turn in early but um..." he trails off as he watches Brian walk down the hallway and into the kitchen, giving Jungkook a stern look before coming over to talk to me.
"You alright?" he asks before placing a way too intimate kiss on my lips in front of Jungkook who I see has turned his head back to the TV and isn't bothering to pay attention to the game Brian is trying to play with him. "Yeah I'm fine. Are you heading out?" I ask, very hopeful that this visit will come to an end and thankfully luck is on my side this time.
"Yeah I gotta get going but I'll come over again soon" he says, looking over at Jungkook before giving me one last kiss and heading towards the door to put on his shoes. "Text me when you get home!" I say and he winks at me before walking out leaving me rolling my eyes once the door is shut.
I slump against the counter, glad it's finally over and when I look back over at Jungkook he's not too interested in whatever he has playing on the TV anymore, his focus solely on me.
"What?" I ask him, brows scrunched together and trying to figure out what his deal is. "Why'd you fake it?" he asks and I choke on my spit, caught off guard by the unfiltered question. "Excuse me?" I ask, scandalized that he had been listening enough to even catch onto something like that.
"You probably wanted it to be over huh?" he asks, assuming what the answer was and unfortunately that was the case but I'm not letting him have the satisfaction of being right. "I don't know what you're talking about" I say, turning on the sink to fill up my cup again but before I can even pull it out from under the tap he's taking it out of my hand.
"Hey!" I call out, trying to grab it but he holds it just out of reach. "Can't keep you satisfied anymore?" he asks raising a brow at me, a smug look on his face since it seems he can read me like a book based off of my body language alone. "He keeps me very satisfied thank you very much, not that it's any of your business" I say and reach for my cup which he thankfully relinquishes.
"I know you're lying" he say and I cock a brow at him, not knowing how he could possibly know the truth. "Oh yeah? What makes you say that?" I press, placing the cup on the counter and crossing my arms over my chest, forgetting the fact that I'm completely naked under this and giving him a better view of my cleavage.
"You're not very quiet when you do it by yourself you know. What do you use? A dildo? One of those little roses? Maybe both?" he questions leaning in closer to me and making my eyes bug out of my head. "How did yo-" "These walls are paper thin doll, so believe me when I say that I can hear every little thing you do to yourself in there. But please, don't stop. I would hate to be deprived of that pretty little voice of yours even though it is quite distracting sometimes" he says, grabbing my cup and holding it between us as a clear invitation to leave if I so desire.
I take it and rush back to my room, slamming the door behind me and I can hear him chuckle from the kitchen. Fuck he really wasn't kidding when he said these walls are thin.
I flop down onto my bed facedown and scream into my pillow, utterly mortified that he's heard me ever since he got here. I need to wear a muzzle at this rate since there's no way I'm stopping just for his sake. A girl's got needs and if Brian isn't going to fulfill them then I've gotta do it myself.
I get up off my bed after I finish my little temper tantrum and change the sheets before taking my robe off and jumping in the shower to hopefully wash off all of Brian's scent. I can't stand to think about him anymore especially after what Jungkook said about him...
After finishing up my shower and drying off my hair I reach into my drawer to get my tried and true rose bud to help me out tonight. Yes he guessed right but I'll be damned if I ever let him see it.
I lay down and try to turn it on and after I've used it for a minute or two it just shuts off. "Fuck" I groan out, forgetting the fact that I had forgotten to grab new batteries for it. The TV remote has the same size batteries right? It's worth a shot to go check since I'm pretty sure he's gone to bed already.
Walking out to the living room in my robe again I'm met with Jungkook still sitting on the couch watching the same thing he had been when I first came out here.
I try to turn back around once I've seen him but he stops me by asking me if I needed something. "I just wanted to borrow the batteries from the remote but you're still using it so no worries" I say and try to leave but he stops me again. "I'm pretty sure I bought a new pack of batteries not too long ago" he says and I sheepishly admit I used the last of them.
"Oh okay well here, I can just finish this up on my laptop" he says while taking the batteries out and putting them in my hand, giving me the source of my pleasure for tonight. "T-thanks" I stutter and close my finger around them as if they would disappear if I let them go. "Is everything okay?" he asks and I nod my head while walking down the hallway, not knowing that he's hot on my heels.
"What do you need the batteries for?" he asks as we're a few feet away from my door making me jump. "Didn't know I was behind you?" he chuckles and I glare at him, hoping that'll make him back off but it does the exact opposite, causing him to smirk and glance around my room and soon notices the rosebud that I stupidly left in the middle of my bed.
"I was right" he smirks leaving me groaning and rolling my eyes as I storm into my room, not bothering to close the door since I know he's not going to leave me alone anytime soon.
"What? You know I'm just teasing you. You're free to do as you please doll, I'm not gonna stop you. I was even nice and paused my movie so you can have your fun too" he says, leaning against my doorframe and since he's being shameless I will too, deciding to switch the batteries out and turn it on to check but unfortunately it does the same thing and dies less than thirty seconds after I turn it on.
"Shit" I curse under my breath and he stifles his laughter by covering his mouth. "Yeah yeah laugh it up. You're just lucky all you need is your right hand to get off. Can you just leave me alone?" I ask, laying back down on my bed, exacerbated and ready to call it a night since the odds have flipped again. My good luck for the night being Brian's quick departure.
I don't pay attention to how high my robe has ridden and it seems as though one of my legs has slipped through the gap giving him a full view of my upper thigh and hip, one wrong move leaving me exposed to him.
He gulps but I don't bother to notice and only do when he clears his throat. "What do you want?" I say, throwing my arm over my face trying to hide the shame that all of this has caused me but fail miserably. "Want some help?" he asks and I sit up right away at his words, "What?" I ask, my reaction as dramatic as if he had grown two heads.
"Do you want some help? I can get you off real quick if you'd like? It'll be like one roomie helping the other" he offers as causally as if he had asked to borrow five bucks. "You're joking, right?" I scoff but it seems as he very well is not as he take a step into my room and he watches for signs for protest but I give him none.
"Not really no. I'm simply offering to help a friend in need. That's what we are right? Friends?" he questions as he takes a step closer.
He calls out my name when I've stayed silent for a while, not being able to take my eyes off him even if I tried. As long as he stays in this room he's got my attention. "R-right, friends" I respond and he takes a seat on my bed, a respectful distance away but it feels as if he was already on top of me.
"But Brian-" "Doesn't need to know" he says, cutting me off and making it harder and harder for me to say no. He scoots closer to me and takes the rosebud out of my hands, unbothered by what it's used for and simply places it on the nightstand next to me. "It's your move" he says, leaning closer to me, his breath fanning my face and I look at his eyes, mine going back and forth before his look down at my lips.
"Tell me to stop" he says, making things easier for me but when he's mere millimeters away I lean in.
It's soft and sweet at first, our lips connecting and breaking a few times, still giving me an opening to pull away and say stop but after a few more kisses like that he deepens the kiss. While keeping our lips locked for longer he angles his head a bit more, his tongue now in my mouth and soon he beckons me to do the same and I do which gives him even more of a green light.
He places his hand on my cheek and angles me just right before he switches up and presses down on my shoulder a little and leans in closer as a silent plea for me to lay down.
I crawl back on the bed instead and he follow as I lay down on the pillows with him hovering over me. "Fuck been thinking about this view for a long time" he admits and before I can say anything in response his lips are already on mine again.
"Can I take this off?" he asks, toying with the tie that is seconds from coming undone of it's own accord. "Yeah" I say, adrenaline pumping through my veins at the thought of doing this, of cheating with my roommate who is someone I won't be able to run away from after this.
He pulls the belt and in one smooth motion it's undone.
The way he looks at me as he takes both sides of the robe off of my body is a sight that could make me cum untouched if given the chance. Watching his eyes darken up as they roam all over my body until he's tracing them back up to mine where it's as if a whole new man is hovering over me, one that looks so insatiable and ready to break me at any moment.
"Fuck you're so pretty" he say, leaning back down to kiss me but soon trails his lips down my neck and to the valley between my breast. He settles on kissing one of them and slowly brings his lips closer to my nipple where he looks up at me for permission which I give right away. He smirks and puts his thumb and pointer fingers into his mouth making them wet. He places them on the opposite one twisting and toying with it before he places his mouth on the one in front of him.
Once his lips make contact my fingers immediately lace through his hair, needing to ground myself with something and he hums around in in approval when I tug on it a bit.
"You sensitive here doll?" he asks when he lets go of it, the cool air causing a chill when it hits my damp skin, him having made a mess of it from his clear desire to do this. I let out a whimper in response and he nips at it before switching to my other breast to give it the same time and attention he gave the first.
My hips start to buck up after a couple more seconds of him switching between my breasts and lips when he hears those pretty voices he had talked about before, wanting to taste them on his tongue this time.
"Someone's eager" he says against my lips but I turn my face to the side leaving him kissing the column of my neck until I'm squirming about leaving him smiling against my skin.
"Does my doll want more?" he asks and I whimper in response, not being able to bring myself to utter words of confirmation when I have a man like him already causing me so much pleasure, but it's not enough.
I need more.
"Jungkook please" I breathe out, done with this teasing and so worked up already from not gaining release earlier. "Please what?" he asks trailing his lips back up to mine and kissing them one last time before pulling back and waiting for my answer. "Please help me cum" I plead, wanting what he had promised me earlier.
He chuckles dryly and places a kiss on the corner or my mouth before responding. "Here I am taking my time with you but you still only want one thing. Don't you like it when I play with you like this?" he asks, trailing middle finger down my torso until he's come in contact with my clit, sliding further down past it and checking to see what my true physical reactions have been to his ministrations.
"Seems like you do" he says, circling around my entrance with that same finger when he feels how wet I am. "This all for me?" he asks and close my eyes once he's dipped one of his fingers in while using his thumb to draw circles around my clit but once my breathing picks up a bit everything stops.
"What?" I pant, confused as to why he would stop. "I asked you a question. Is this all for me y/n?" he rasps, looking down at where his fingers had once been and cursing when he notices how wet they are. "Y-yes, all for you" I choke out and he leans in as if he was going to kiss me but stops before I can even brush my lips against his.
"Can you say my name princess?" he whispers, posed as a question but we both know the only way this continues is if I comply. "Jungkook" I whisper out, his name now tasting different on my tongue. It's almost if I have to put more effort into pronouncing each letter, my throat suddenly running dry.
"Louder doll. It's the least you can do to help me forget how you've moaned his name in here time and time again. Probably another sad excuse of an act to fake your high" he says, going back to playing with my center, his finger going in and out at a faster rate now before easing his way into putting in a second one.
"Fuck Jungkook" I groan, this time a little louder than before that grants me a kiss on my neck, his motives to stay away from my lips being to hear all of my reactions to what he's doing to me. Wanting to discover new sounds and reactions that sound more genuine and are ones that I can't even hope to hold back with the pleasure he's giving me.
"That's it, keep going. Want your voice to be the thing I remember most about this, hear it over and over again, ingrained in my memory. That way when I forget how you taste it'll be something that I'll still be able to come back to. Hearing how I make you feel, not yourself and definetly not your sorry excuse of a boyfriend, me. Let me hear how I make you feel" he rasps in my ear making me shiver and arch my back off the mattress.
"Jungkook please, please" I beg, my ego gone, the only thoughts in my head being him and how incredible it'll feel once he's made me cum. "Just like that doll, scream my name if you need to, I don't mind" his calm cool and collected tone of voice driving me mad. How can he be whispering these things in my ear and taunting me like this while I'm a complete mess under him, barely being able to breathe let alone think straight.
I pulse around his fingers and he can tell that I'm close when I let out a moan after he hits a certain spot, hitting it over and over again, knowing that that's going to be the thing that'll make me come undone.
He leans back and looks down at me, his flushed cheeks and swollen lips make me insane, his calm and cool façade in my mind broken when I see the way he's watching me. Taking in every gasp, every moan, every whimper of his name and it makes him want to try even harder to get me to that high, needing to see what I look like when I cum.
"Just like that doll, you're doing so well, sound so pretty" he murmurs and with a few more words of encouragement I'm coming undone. When I try to look away he grabs my chin and makes me keep eye contact, making everything seem even more intense.
Once the rising and falling of my chest has slowed down and his playful fingers inside me gain him whines of overstimulation he finally takes them out.
I expect him to get up and wash his hands but instead places them in his mouth, moaning once my taste hits his tongue leaving me swallowing dryly, needing that glass of water now.
"Open your mouth" he says after he takes his fingers out and I comply curiously, doing as he asks and the next moment I feel him spitting in my mouth before smashing his lips on mine one last time.
After kissing me senseless and exhaustion flooding my system my kisses become sloppy and he laughs against my lips before finally pulling back. "Where are you going?" I ask and he laughs again at my groggy state. “I'm going to go get a towel to clean you up" he says and I sit up quickly, my mind slowly clearing up.
"Wait, what about you?" I ask, taking note of the tent in his pants but he simply chuckles and brings back a warm towel just like he said.
I had expected the same treatment Brian gave me today but when I try to reach for it he pulls back. "No you lay down, you're still out of it" he says, trying to be serious but also satisfied that he only had to use his fingers put me in this state.
After he finishes cleaning me up he gets up and throws the towel in the laundry basket and comes back to sit on the bed next to me, cupping my face and studying my features. "You okay?" he asks, clearly sensing regret already.
"Yeah I'm fine. I just never thought I would do something like this" I admit and he mouths a quiet 'Oh' and takes his hand off me but I grab it before he can get too far. "I'm sorry I'm just confused and clearly not thinking straight" I say, trying to backtrack knowing that I've hurt him by saying that.
"Thank you for doing this for me" I say timidly and he laughs. "What?" I ask, clearly not understanding what about this situation is funny.
"I'm sorry" he says, his laughing soon dying down and I wait in silence until he's finally composed himself. "I'm sorry it's just that it’s not everyday that your hot roommate thanks you for finger fucking them" he chuckles and my cheeks heat up, thoroughly embarrassed now that he's put it like that.
I reach behind me and grab a pillow and throw it at his face which makes him laugh even more. "Jungkook stop this isn't funny" I whine and he stops a couple minutes later. "Alright alright I'm sorry, you were just getting way too serious about it" he explains and wipes away a fake tear.
"This is serious! I just cheated on my boyfriend with you" I exclaim and he shakes his head, placing the pillow I threw at him out of my reach and sighs before responding. "You and I both know that you've been ready to end that relationship for a while now" he says and I open my mouth but the words die in my throat.
"That's what I thought" he says and we sit there in silence for a moment while I pull the sheet over me. "Just break up with him already, I can clearly see that you're miserable" he points out and I hate that he's right.
"Why do you care? Should I break up with him so I can mess around with you?" I ask and he shrugs his shoulders. "We can do that if you want to, but from a friend's point of view I think your life is so much better without him" he says and I sigh, knowing again that he's right, telling me the things that I've thought about over and over again but just never did anything about.
"I'll talk to him" I say and he nods his head. "Good because with the number I did on your neck he's definetly gonna know that something went down" he laughs and my eyes go wide, forgetting to tell him to not leave any marks but I know I'm fucked.
"Here" he says, grabbing the hand mirror I have on my dresser and I know from one glance that hoodies and turtlenecks will be my new signature look until this all clears up.
"Jungkook" I growl and he giggles, never taking my scolding tone seriously. "What? Don't act like you didn't like it" he chuckles and I sit up, grabbing that pillow and throwing it at him again. "I hate you" I huff but he laughs again before placing a knee on my bed and making it dip under his weight.
My breath hitches as he inches closer and I can't do anything but lay down, slowly trying to run away from his lips in my mind but falling back into that same position we had been in for who knows how long.
Once I'm flat on my back and he's hovering over me again I swallow as best as I can, making him let out a dry chuckle. "Wanna run that one by me again doll?" he asks, cocking a brow at me and I press my thighs together, hating myself for doing it but needing some sort of something to keep me sane but it's of no use.
He leans in closer and I hold my breath, not knowing what he's doing or where this is going but when I close my eyes I’m granted with that same chuckle again.
"Goodnight princess" he says against my lips, his weight gone off my bed seconds later leaving me sitting up in process. "Wha-" "My pretty doll needs to figure out who she wants to play with if she wants more" he taunts and I cross my arms and pout a little, hoping that'll get him to come back.
"Aw don't be like that. After all the work I put in to help you feel good. I thought you would've been more grateful, not greedy" he taunts and I roll my eye before uttering a quiet 'Goodnight'. "Thanks for giving me material to help me fix this" he says, looking down at the very clear outline of his hard on and I swallow again, intimidated from finally being able to see his full size.
"I promise, if you make up your mind...I'll make it fit" he teases and winks at me granting him a scowl in response. He grabs the door handle at the same time I grab the pillow and throw it which he blocks by closing the door. "Goodnight doll" he says one last time and shuts it behind him.
I spend the rest of my night willing myself to sleep and when I finally start to doze off I start hearing Jungkook's soft moans and grunts leaving me wide awake again. Now I really know he wasn't lying...
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