#i'd probably eat here not gonna lie

[mysteriousdragon2]

Can you draw hol horse eating a delicious meal at cracker barrel

A delicious meal he shall feast on! Yes, I did take a picture of Cracker Barrel from Google because there's NO WAY I can draw a background that complex LOL. But yes he is enjoying his crispy chicken, along with man n' cheese, and a corn muffin! After his adventures, he definitely needs to have a break and enjoy a meal! Thanks for the request idea, was interesting to tackle on! ;p

[dandyshucks]

actually i think Guz would secretly love when I have high fatigue days because he would use it as an excuse to laze around for a day, if anyone tried to ask him to do something he'd act all shocked and offended that someone would even dare suggest he leave his poor suffering partner alone on a day where they're unable to do anything at all, he must be their sole entertainment, don't you see he's doing this for them!! responsibilities must wait on the backburner for the day so he may tend to his sickly victorian-by-the-seaside waif of a partner !!! (all said jokingly with a great deal of dramatics and mock horror)

[woso-dreamzzz]

Sick III

Hardersson x Child!Reader

Part of The Big Adventures Universe

Summary: Magda gets sick

"Momma," You say, hopping down the last step," Morsa's throwing up in the bathroom again."

Pernille looks up from the stove and sighs. "I thought I told you that you weren't meant to go looking for Morsa?"

You shrug. "I didn't go looking for her."

Pernille doesn't believe you in the slightest.

Magda had come down with some sickness, likely the flu, a few days ago. It had started off as just an inconvenience, a stuffy nose and a few headaches. Then came the throwing up and Magda being forced to lean over the toilet bowl for a few hours in the night when she was meant to be sleeping.

Pernille knew it was wishful thinking to hope that the sickness remained with Magda only but you were a bit of a nightmare when it came to getting sick so she wanted to limit the chance of you catching it as much as possible.

If only you understood that because since Magda's sudden illness, you seem to have gotten incredibly clingy towards her like you don't want to stray out of her sight for whatever reason.

Pernille purses her lips as she looks at you, stirring the soup in the pot as she ponders what to do next.

"Why don't you have tv time?" She asks, finally settling on something to keep you occupied.

You don't get a lot of tv time, at least not where you're in control of the tv. You've never really craved it when you could play with girl-swan and girl-moose or kick a football around the garden.

But still, you're a little kid and kids love tv.

"I think Scooby Doo is on."

You think for a moment before your face twists into something akin to annoyance. "I don't like German Scooby Doo," You say," Can I watch Ben 10 instead?"

"Yeah, we can do that."

Pernille sets you up with an episode of Ben 10 in German and you settle on the sofa to watch it. With you now occupied, she sneaks up with a bowl of chicken soup just as Magda makes her way back to bed.

"You look...better."

"Don't lie." It's nice to see that Magda's humour is still there. "Is this for me?"

"Chicken soup." Pernille hands the bowl over. "You should probably wait for it to start cooling down."

"I'll be fine," Magda says," It's not like I can taste it so the heat might be the only enjoyable thing about it."

"How are you feeling? Do you need more medicine?"

"Can't take any yet. Hasn't been four hours but I'll be fine. I spoke to Linda. She said the throwing up only lasts a day. I'll be alright by tomorrow."

"Still," Pernille says," Eat your soup and drink lots of water. We're meant to be setting a good example to Princesse."

The corners of Magda's mouth quirks up a little. "Where is she? You know, I'd feel a lot better if she's here?"

Pernille rolls her eyes, scoffing. "Oh, I see. When I'm sick, I can't see her so she doesn't get infected but when you're sick, you can see her all you want? How is that fair?"

Her tone is teasing and Magda flashes a wolfish grin.

"Swedes don't infect Swedes. It's a rule."

"Well, it's great that she's Danish too, huh? No Princesse time for you until-"

"Hey, Princesse. What have you got there?"

Pernille whips her head around to see you standing by the door, clutching the little first aid kit that's usually hidden in the bathroom cabinet.

"I thought you were watching Ben 10?" She says as you come in, clambering up onto the bed and sitting on Magda's outstretched legs.

"Got bored," You reply, forcing the zip open and rummaging through it," I'm gonna make Morsa better though."

"She's sick, Princesse," Pernille says," Are you sure? You can get sick too."

You give Pernille the biggest judgemental look you can manage. "I know, Momma. I'm not silly. But I'm still going to make Morsa better."

In all honesty, Pernille is a little intrigued about how you're going to make Magda feel better with the first aid kit so she doesn't push anymore for you to leave the room.

"Does your head hurt?"

"Yes."

You bring out one of the bandages, winding it around Magda's head and tucking the end into itself.

"There you go!" You say," Now your head won't hurt. Does your throat hurt too?"

Magda nods.

You whip out one of the big plasters that's meant for big cuts and grazes on the knee and place it over Magda's mouth, making sure it's completely secure.

"You need to stop talking," You tell her sternly," Because that makes your throat hurt." You turn to Pernille. "Momma, I fixed her!"

Pernille has to force down her laughter at the bewildered expression on Magda's face.

"I can see that," Pernille says," We should leave Morsa alone now so she can recover. You did a good job."

You nod. "I know." You blow Magda a kiss. "I can't kiss you because then I'll get sick," You tell her," So have air kisses!"

You blow more kisses at Magda and shuffle off the bed, taking Pernille's hand.

"Can we finish watching Ben 10, Momma? It's a really good episode!"

[sylveon-and-velveon]

Playing "4 Big Guys" around the slashers

Shitpost idea has been made, so here XD

This will include: Michael Myers {OG & RZ}, Brahms Heelshire, Jason Voorhees, Billy Lenz, Freddy Krueger, Stu Macher, Billy Loomis, Thomas Hewitt, Bubba Sawyer, Harry Warden, Tiffany Valentine

Feel free to request any shitpost writing prompt ideas you can think of in my asks, I love silly non-serious ideas XD

Given the music is VERY adult related, this is 18+ ONLY

OG Michael Myers

Ain't gonna lie, the second you play that song he's probably staring at you instantly. Anger? Disappointment? Cursing your entire family and possible future children? Who knows! It's Michael-Fucking-Myers baby!!!

He's not used to anything sexual overall so hearing a song openly sing about gay sex, and in such a detailed way, would worry him. Not for the singer, no- more on your taste in music.

And don't even get me started on when he hears about shit being involved. The second he hears that being mentioned he's turning off the music entirely, patting your head, and dragging you away so you'll listen to something he likes instead to cleanse that weird mind of yours. Like... Kate Bush or something.

He'd like Kate Bush right? He looks like a Kate Bush enjoyer.

RZ Michael Myers

Judging you, hard. Though he ain't saying it. His aura is practically smellable he's judging you so hard.

Does he like it? No. It's loud, obnoxious, and profound filled. Ignoring the obvious "gay sex and other weirdness" part, the volume of the music reminds him of his childhood.

He's smashing the device the music is coming from. He doesn't care if it's your MP3 all the way to a damn TV or Alexa, he's smashing that shit to pieces if it means he doesn't need to hear it anymore.

What would he put on instead? Calming ambient noises that play for hours on end on YouTube. It's the exact opposite of whatever hellscape you just played. It's better.

Brahms Heelshire

Well first of all it ain't classical, so that's a point on the "I Hate This" list.

Second it's not a piano.

Third it's literally "4 Big Guys"-

Not only is this poor man confused about everything the singer is saying, I highly doubt his parents explained LGBTQ+ to him, he's also hating how loud it is.

"Who puts things up their ass?" - Brahms Heelshire 2024

You turn off the music yourself when he practically begs you to.

You're probably tryna hold in your laughter while he's sitting on the floor trying to figure out what the fuck he just heard.

Jason Voorhees

Is there a bigger word for "traumatized"? Because that man earns it.

You're lucky af, if his mom was live she'd hit you with a crowbar so fast- Not kill you tho, she wouldn't dare hurt her boy.

But yeah, he's not saying anything, nor moving. Bro's too traumatized. LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE-

You better give him his teddy he fucking deserves it TmT

Laughing his ass off until the shit is mentioned, even this horny gremlin has his limits.

Can you tell I hate shit kinks? XD

He'd want an apology for you blasting that song so far to that section. But no music! He hates Christmas songs, they're so repetitive and they all sound the same anyway.

Bake him a cake, the more unique the better. His favourite so far is red velvet with cream cheese frosting!

Then when he's finished eating you're getting railed by him not longer after, man's not changed. Not now, not ever.

Freddy Krueger

You can play this entire song with this man on REPEAT and he'd be fine with it.

I'd be surprised if he didn't given his track record and.... slicing open his skin to reveal green "blood" and maggots crawling out.

Would he laugh the first time? ABSOLUTELY!

Would he jokingly sing along, probably.

But he would TOTALLY play this song when going after his victims sometimes. Imagine dying and the last thing you hear is:

"4 BIG GUYS AND THEY GRAB ON MY THIGHS-"

Stu Macher & Billy Loomis

Billy is concerned for your wellbeing. Especially when you start singing it at full force with Stu joining in not long after.

Yeah Stu is enjoying this to the max!

Finds it hilarious, who the fuck wouldn't when you've got humour more broken than Brahms' doll-

But seeing you enjoying yourself to this.... absurdity, at least makes Billy calm down from worry. Now he's just concerned your taste in music may infiltrate your taste in movies.

I doubt the man's used to hearing music.... imagine this being his first time hearing it-

OMG he'd probably think this is normal for music.

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE??? XD

If it's not his first time hearing music though? No concern, laughter, nothing. He's neutral, given that this is something that makes you a little chaotic gremlin.

He's happy seeing you comfortable enough around to be a "gremlin" as you call it.

Bubba Sawyer

Don't traumatize him more than he's been already!!

Sure he doesn't realise it, or the fact he's used to it, but the poor guy's already traumatized-

Though he's probably more confused in the whole scheme of things. I mean, he knows what sex is. But just the surface of it.

So he's probably just learnt way too much in such a short period of time.

Oh lord what have you done-

Harry Warden

Okay first of all, why is there no GIF of this man? WTF????

Second; man's from the mines, man's old fashioned, you've probably just thrown way too much modern shit in his face way too quickly that he's just staring at you, the music video, and then the floor.

Poor miner is so confused, especially when the "cum starts spraying".

Oh god he'll probably think it's like dust from the mines spraying everywhere.

Fucking hell that's a vision-

Tiffany Valentine

Finds it amusing? Yes.

Judging? Not as much as you'd expect.

Girl's been through a wild ride, hearing you blast out "4 Big Guys" from your phone wouldn't be the most shocking thing in the world.

Hell. she'd probably encourage you to start singing along to it XD

Oh she's gonna use that song to torture someone with it. She doesn't know how yet, but she's got the idea in her head now

[jujustsies]

Choso loses his virginity to you

A/N: i forgot i was supposed to do headcanons instead of a oneshot but please enjoy 🩷

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God, it's the first date for crying out loud. Choso just met you fifteen minutes ago and he can't stop thinking about putting a ring on your finger.

How pathetic, already thinking about how many kids you both should have. Meanwhile, you're wondering when your food is gonna arrive.

It's the first date, if you couldn't tell. How did you get here..? Well..

You always went to a specific gym, wearing legging and a baggy shirt each time.

Choso had always spotted you out the corner of his eye, you made him to flustered to even lift a finger.

He always watched in amazement at how you effortlessly worked out, you looked so good. He's wanted you ever since.

On Monday, you were walking out the gym and left your headphones and water bottle. Luckily for you, Choso was watching like the degenerate he was. He quickly ran up to you to return your belongings.

You thanked him with a soft smile that made his cheeks and his cock blush.

And just as you were to head out, he spoke again.

"Wait.. I'd like to get to know y-you.. what's your name?" Choso asked nervously, hoping you couldn't see his cock hardening in his gym shorts.

You told him with a wink, "Are you trying to ask me out on a date?" You teased.

"I-I.. yeah.. actually." He replied sheepishly, making you chuckle.

"Sure, here's my phone number." You replied and took his phone from his hand and typed your number into his phone.

"T-Thank you.." Choso thanked you rather formally for your cell as you walked away.

You both kept texting and eventually made up a date, time, and place to meet up, and that's how you ended up here.

"Choso, you're awfully quiet. Is this your first date?" You teased.

"Ah, was it t-that obvious?" Choso asked shyly. "To be honest, I've been wanting to ask you on a date for a while so I'm kind of shocked I actually did it.." Choso explained.

"Really?" You asked, "I didn't think this would be your first date. You're really cute." You said innocently, even though you knew the effect you had on him.

"I-I.. really? Thank you.." Choso replied with a prominent blush on his face.

"So you're a virgin I take it?" You asked.

"I.. yeah. I am.. is that bad?" Choso asked, quietly panicking. "No, it's fine." You smiled again.

You already knew were this was gonna end. Either one, you two would actually have something, or this'll just be another one night stand.

Choso was shy but he wasn't innocent. You caught his eyes occasionally fail to look away from your cleavage, not to mention the way he looked at you when he saw you stand up.

"What do you want this to turn into? Honestly." You asked him while holding his hand, knowing he'd probably short circuit.

"I want to marry you," Choso answered quickly which seemed to be the only time he's answered clearly without voice cracks or stutters.

Your eyes widened and you chuckled, "Marriage? We just met." You replied.

"But I take it you want something serious between us?" You questioned.

Choso was redder than a tomato, he had embarrassed himself even more. "W-Well.. yeah." He replied.

"I'm glad, I won't lie." You smiled softly, "Oh, are you done eating?" You asked. "Oh, yeah I-I am.." Choso replied quickly. "I'll pay," He said. "Aww, thank you baby." You chuckled.

Choso blushed as he paid for the food.

As you both walked out the restaurant, Choso eyeing your ass in that dress occasionally, you looked at him. "So your place or mine?" You asked.

"H-Huh? What do you mean?" Choso asked, caught out of his trance.

"Do want to have sex at your place or mine?" You asked, clarifying what you meant. The question made Choso's heart race, "I-I.. Is that something you normally do after a date..?" He asked, completely dumbfounded at the offer.

"Yeah," You responded with a soft chuckle. "Let's go to yours," You replied.

"A-Are you sure? I.. I'm not.." Choso stammered.

"I wouldn't have brought it up, but you look like you need some help." You said as you looked down at his boner.

"I-I didn't realize how obvious it was! I wasn't trying to be a weirdo, I promise!" Choso exclaimed. "Don't worry your pretty little head, I figured." You chuckled.

"So.. you really want to.. do it?" He asked sheepishly. "Yes, Choso. I don't mind having sex with you." You held his hand.

"I guess that means the date didn't go bad.. right?" He chuckled nervously. You rolled your eyes and headed towards his car and sat in the passenger seat.

As Choso drove, he was trying to comprehend the fact that he was going to actually lose his virginity tonight.

The moment you reached his room you turned Choso around and kissed him. It was sudden and he wasn't expecting it but God, it was so good.

His heart was pounding in his chest as your slowly made your way to his bed, pressing him against his familiar bed.

You slipped off your dress and revealed your bra, making Choso turn incredibly red. "O-Oh wow.. this i-is really happening.." He choked out as he stared at your boobs in pure astonishment.

You chuckled and kissed him fervently.

As the kiss intensified, you took off Choso's shirt. As you did, you felt his heart pound as if he were to have a heart attack. "Cho' you hanging in there?" You teased.

"T-This is so much.. I.. never thought it'd be like this." Choso choked out, panting heavily.

"Well catch your breath, I'll show you things ten times better." You grinned.

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please interact :')

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

*rattling the bars of my cage making feral growling noises* I love your writing so much and I love when you foreshadow/reference character traumas I love how you write characters I love how you write generally and I want to consume your writing the way a hippo consumes a watermelon

"What are we going to tell my brother?" you ask, laying on Logan's chest in the darkening bedroom.

"I'll figure it out," he snorted, kissing the hand that was holding his. Fuck worrying about Wade. For the first time in he didn't know how long, you were relaxed. And your heart rate seemed normal. He knew for a fact you'd had at least one good meal. And if he played his cards right, you'd eat dinner and sleep. "Don't you worry your pretty little head."

"He's gonna be pissed."

"Not for long," Logan said reasonably. "And not at you. He told me not to fuck you. He didn't tell you not to fuck me."

"Still."

"Still nothing. You pay your mother an allowance so he can play dead and he doesn't have to go home for Christmas," Logan scoffed. "Which is stupid, by the way-"

You raise your head and look at him, "So you wanna go meet my mom?"

"No."

"Then let sleeping dogs lie."

Logan felt his eyes narrow and he growled.

"It's easier," you tell him. "I don't want-" You break off and lay your head back down, "she likes me better at a distance. But doesn't figure that out until she's up in my face."

"Doesn't make it not bullshit."

"I know." You sigh, "But unless you want her here and- ugh. No. No thanks. It's bad enough watching other women flirt with you at bars. I think if I had to watch my mom do it I'd probably flip shit."

He snorted, "She's not my type. Or havin' my baby." He patted your backside and shifted your weight a little to be able to kiss your head. "So. Wade was your mom's favorite. Your dad wasn't around-"

"I was Wade's favorite- when he was around," you tell him. "But- he was just a kid too, you know?"

"He's still a kid," Logan scoffed. And from the sounds of it, you never were. Either sick or trying to hold the shards of the family together in your little hands.

"Lo-"

"I'll make it all work out," he soothed. And if he got his way, you weren't going to be paying your mother anymore.

[gaoau]

i've been thinking a lot about Suo and i need it to stop, so i wanna analyse him a little bit and say things into the void. normally i like to psychoanalyse characters in fics but i've seen that side of the fandom and i do NOT wanna go there, so i'm saving myself by pulling the same thing i did with Nanao ig.

disclaimer: this isn't necessarily a theory about his backstory as much as it is what i personally wanna see happen. see, if i were writing him, i'd do very specific things that could go in various directions, but since i am not, unfortunately, writing him and he's not my character to fuck with, all i can do is yap. which, also, probably won't be very eloquent.

manga spoilers for literally the whole manga up to date btw.

i don't think we won't be getting a backstory on him, to be honest. with a character like him, yeah, the mystery is part of the charm, and having this much anticipation can suck ass if once the secret gets revealed, it doesn't stick the landing. but i doubt Nii Satoru doesn't have something planned for him. why would bro be leaving Suo's room illustration out of the fanbook if there wasn't something there to talk about? what is in his room to talk about? but that's not what this is about.

anyway i'm gonna be so fr Suo's built like a dog. he's clearly full of shit, and yknow, that's fine, good for him, but there are things that are so painfully obvious he's just straight up lying about. after his fight with Kanuma, which is deadass the first time we see him fight, he says he "doesn't usually get so emotional," which ?? shut the fuck up? that's not true.

i know a liar when i see one. we've seen him fight five times? six if i wanna be generous; in three of those he got crazy emotional (Kanuma, keel, and Endo), and just a tiny bit miffed with the gymnast guy idr his name fuck that freak. which, listen, to be fair, if someone touched a single hair on Nirei's head in front of me, real me too i'd kill a guy. but look me in the eye lil bro don't lie to me. real talk, though, he was more than ready to kill the keel dude, and was going to. he wanted to. he was shaking while Sakura held him back, don't play with me. he wasn't gonna stop just cause someone was interjecting.

bro was itching to kill, side-eyeing Sakura, spitting snark cause how's the hot-headed mf who jumps head-first into a brawl without a second thought staying more rational than him, the rational one? Sakura's talking to him the same way i talk to my dog after she tries to kill my cat. i'm ngl my dog has better self-restraint than this kid. he also just straight up xd's his way out of it? like "oh whoopsies! mb gang! i was just feeling silly goofy! 🤪" like he forgets he's not supposed to glare at people with murder in his eyes.

speaking of murder! this is where i want him to have killed someone before Bofurin. he's, like, 15? so there's not much time to work with, but the same way Kaji was going feral at idk 8 years old, i can see a world in which Suo actually went overboard when he was a younger kid. (i'm not saying this is what things are pointing at, but i want this to be the case. i would do this myself.)

he is emotional, i don't think that's up for debate. i understand why he gets so emotional and i do think it's very noble and cool and swag of him, that's a good person, somewhat, he cares about his friends and it pisses him off when they get hurt. i fuck with that. that's great, get him an ice cream (if he even eats fucking weirdo). but why are we acting like "i am chill ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ" when, clearly, that's not true?

here's where his teacher comes in. for how much grief i'm giving him, i don't think he's all lies at all. i don't think him liking Nirei and Sakura enough to not only speak highly of them, but also fuck a guy up for them, is a lie. i think he is as kind as Umemiya describes him to be, cause honestly, if Umemiya says someone is kind, then they probably are.

i don't think this is necessarily fake as much as i think it's borrowed. it's learned behaviour. it's teachings passed down to him by his teacher. it's discipline. it's not something that comes naturally to him, but it is something a person he respects and looks up to taught him, so he tries to live by it. he's very clearly been disciplined, probably got beaten into the ground by his teacher, got his ass handed to him again and again and again until he sharpened his reflexes and learned how to control himself in a fight.

he talks a lot about adulthood, talks a lot about maturing, talks a lot about self-control and whatnot. which, by the way, this is a child? lil bro you're fifteen go play on your switch idk. but i'd like to think this comes from someone telling him, "hey, what you did was not okay. you have a lot of strength and you're not an animal. use it wisely so you can one day grow into a proper adult." solely cause i want him to have killed someone. that's all i want.

i think it would make sense, really. how funny would it be if he was living similarly to Sakura? i've seen people headcanon him as a rich kid, but he lies a lot, and i wouldn't put it past him to be living in a sad, lonely one-room apartment. there's a billion ways things could be done with him. maybe his parents didn't care to try disciplining him, maybe he grew up with no parents at all. he has a short fuse, that's easy to tell, even if he acts like he's got everything under control. it's a very Suzuri type of situation, so maybe it's not the direction Nii Satoru is gonna take things, but one can dream.

as for the eyepatch, i haven't really thought much about it. the way i see things, he's gotta come from a neglectful background, so losing an eye would make sense. or maybe he did it himself, i'd love to see that (i would do that with a character like this if he was mine). if his eye is even missing at all, cause all things considered, it might be sort of just a way to give himself a handicap to remind himself not to go overboard.

which, circling back to the self-restraint thing, i like to think that's the reason he doesn't really use much excessive force. not to say he doesn't kick and punch, cause lil bro packs a mean punch, but he doesn't gravitate to hitting people. he's usually using his opponent's weight and momentum against them, which is why i was decently surprised when i saw him grab the keel dude and wind back to bash his face in. he's not violent, until he lets go of what little self-restraint he has, and then he is. it's values and principles that come from someone else telling him how to behave, except he still struggles to hold himself back.

to put it in simple terms, if he were my character, this is what i would do. i'd have him kill someone by going overboard as a kid, have him be taken in by this teacher, have him disciplined and clean his act up by beating his ass, and then have him parrot all these teachings at people he meets later. cause that's essentially what he's doing, he's just repeating things someone else told him. what does bro know about being an adult he doesn't even pay taxes go do your trig homework. but he tries, and you can tell he's trying, even if it doesn't come natural, he cares about his friends and he cares about becoming a better person, he's just a little too quick to snap.

you know what i mean? he cares about Nirei in particular, he loves Nirei, he tries to learn from Nirei. (guys i love Nirei i wont shut the fuck up). but fr, he's got that Nanao complex where he instigates things or sets things into motion and doesn't quite participate. he watches from the back, for better or for worse, but he doesn't necessarily involve himself in things. he keeps a distance. he feels like the other side to Sakura's coin sometimes, learning about people and how warm they actually are. he's all prim and proper and nonchalant, but he recognises he's no match for Sakura and maybe even Nirei. after all, it's always Nirei the one grabbing both of them by the arm and dragging them places.

he talks so big and maturely about not meddling too much with people who can't quite handle friendship yet, and then goes "!" when Nirei tells him "? fuck are you talking about? that's the more reason to teach Sakura about friendship." it's the look on his face after Nirei, despite Suo's long-winded and logical argument, goes to Kotoha and insists they help Sakura anyway. he's learning from Nirei too. also Nirei's crazy endearing so real me too but that's beside the point.

i don't think these parts of him are fake, but they might just be artificial. he's still integrating them into his own person and making them his, but he still slips here and there. he's not quite there yet. i hope he killed someone when he was 8yo. that's all thank you for reading thumbsup

[fleursbending]

THE TAILS OF TSU'TEY AND TONOWARI. | 18+

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 : do you see that pun ?? isn't it so funny ?? ^^ hahahahaahahahahahha.. okay here u go whores have sum headcanons 🙏🏼‼️‼️ (i was gonna link the jake sully one but i think everyone and their mom has seen it). this filthy asf i did not hold back. my mind ran and fell out of my ass. edit / ok the bullet points were glitching out for wari but i'm hoping it is okay now!

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 : MDNI, nsfw, UHMM seggsy times with blue big ass aliens idrk what else to say ?!?!? choking, overstim, brief degrading, mention of somnophilia & oral (f! receiving).

✰ 𝐓𝐎𝐍𝐎𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐈 :

wari knew you were drawn to his tail, for a differing amount of reasons. one of them being that it made you feel really good

and he'd be so consumed by making you feel good, because you're his girl. your pleasure tops everything for him

like his tail is so thick in and the width of it is so girthy lord

"take it like the good girl you are." he'd say as he forces you beneath him and lets his tail gravitate up your leg to where you need him most

i just see his tail acting before he can even fully think of what he was about to do

whether it is in his possessive nature, or just watching out for you

he'd totally use the width and thickness of it to his advantage come on. probably would let it lay in between your plushy thighs and press it against your throbbing clit.

"ahh" he'd say, as he would spit in your mouth - making you swallow it as you grind down on his tail.

I'm not sure how sensitive the metkayinas tails would be considering how different they've adapted to their surroundings, but i'd like to think

if you were to tug on it, it'd still elicit a deep guttural grown from tonowari

he'd fist your hair and smash your lips against his, nibbling at your bottom lip

"yeah? is all of this mine?" he'd growl, hands groping your ass and squeezing it.

wari would whisper such filth to you as his lips hover right over yours, basking in your whines and moans that waver in differing octaves.

"what's wrong, sweetheart? can't take anymore? why? oh...-" he'd let out a low chuckle. "is that it? i don't care. keep going."

his tail would be like. undeniably smooth.. so imagine thigh riding but switch thigh with tail lol!

some of y'all gonna be like wtf!! but dont lie to me ik some of u guys are eating that concept up

like him gripping your hips and pulling you up and down, other hand trailing down to press his thumb on the pearl of your clit and gently just rubs

or when you've made him fucking angry he'd use his tail as some sort of fuck toy until your legs are too sore to keep going.

like he'd give you such a condescending glare, "what? you're spent? when did i tell you to stop?"

tonowari is a beefy man, and with all that strength lordddd you're all gonna be going at it for quite some time !!

like ik for a fact he'd make you use his tail to get off until you reach the point of pure exhaustion

he'd let out a booming laugh, making you comfortable as he just towers over you

"guess it's my turn now"

and his cock would just be so ready for your cunt

and he'd coo at you as you let out something akin to a scream and a cry as your poor lil hole is finally filled with himmm and his balls would just smack at your skin lorddd

there'd be instances where you'd go on midnight swims and his tail would just curve into your waist pushing you closer to his proximity.

he'd have a wolfish grin as your chest presses into this, hands palming at every inch of your skin.

and as things get more heated, more desperate. you'd begin to tug him back to shore, to head to your shared mauri.

but he'd insist with a shake of his head, grasping below your thighs and wrapping them around his waist.

his head would dip down then, hovering over your ear. his breath making the hairs on the back of your head stand.

"how about i just take you here?" like! ok yes pls-

i can just imagine his tail sometimes pushing the ends of your hair back so he could have access to your chest, kissing you everywhere.

like not to deter but tonowari is such a boobs guy like he'd fr suck on your nipples while bucking into you real deep.

mans has such a high sexdrive like, he's going to crave you constantly. especially if he didn't have a successful hunt, or people in the clan are way to up his ass that day.

either he'd fuck you into oblivion, or just sit back and let you use him however you wish.

his tail swishes ever so slightly at the mere thought of you, that's the affect you have on him.

he doesn't know if it's possible but the next thing on his kink list is to definitely somehow choke you with his tail as he fucks you.

you'll have more than enough time together alone, (especially on your night escapades) for him to really test those, so be ready

✰ 𝐓𝐒𝐔'𝐓𝐄𝐘 :

let me just say. he'd be gripping your throat as his lips are so precise with the way they kiss yours in that very moment

and you wouldn't acknowledge it at first as he leans in closer to you. not even realising his tail that trails up your leg

but then it would tug at your loin cloth. once to check how tightly it is on. two to check the waters. 3 to rip it right off of you.

and you'd gasp in shock as the cool air hits your already wet pussy

tilting his head, a coy smirk graced his lips as his forefinger ever so softly dragged through your folds

"ah, what have i done to already make you this wet. do tell."

your hips would jolt then, desperate for more friction, for him to fill you up

the smirk would drop, tsking at you as one of his large hands would push down on your lower tummy to keep you settled

you'd take a deep inhale of breath, both your eyes following the tail that once again trailed up your leg

this time it'd wrap itself around your breasts, squeezing. it was pure erotic, back arching and everything.

the smoothness and how sleek it was, the way it pressed down on your chest - had your eyes closing in pure utter ecstasy

"that's right, use it like it's my cock. there you go, baby. yes." he'd urge you when you are having sex

he'd be very watchful of your reactions, solely just wanting to please you and make you feel good

like can you imagine at a bonfire one night, tsu'tey had gone off to get your food

you're just happily waiting for him when suddenly another man from the clan approaches, trying to seduce you to follow him to the forest

you'd respectfully declined, knowing that of his true intentions behind his words - but he wasn't seeming to go without staking a claim on you

did he live under a rock? oh no tsu-tey

tsu'teys hands are preoccupied, anger making his posture stiffen ever so more as he quickened his pace over to you

"i am taken, i have a mate. please leave before he-"

he makes himself known from behind you, balacing the food on his hands as he uses his tail to smack the wrist of the mans hand that was trying to make its way to your face

"you heard her, leave. before i take out all your teeth and beat you to-"

"tsu'tey!" you'd hiss, arms wrapping around his waist.

he'd snap out of it, glowering at the pathetic excuse of a man as he scampered off.

your cheeks flush as you realised his tail now seemed to wrap itself right above your loin cloth - an action he'd do unintentionally when feeling possessive

after your meal,, let's just say he was still starving for some more

the way he'd restrict your hand by his tail, or how the swishing motion of it would tenderly linger on your legs when he'd devour your pussy

"shhh, don't want the rest of the hunting party to you hear you. unless you do?" he'd say as he had you against a tree and completely having his way with you

i can see his tail having a mind of its own while he's asleep sometimes,, like he'd be having quite a vivid dream of you

and suddenly his tail would just be pressed against you, in a tired haze you'd try to ignore the pressure

but with tsu'tey spooning you and now unintentionally rutting against you, his tail seems to be growing in sensitivity as it curls against you

the feeling of the fur at the end of it brushing your upper thighs is what would finally jolt you awake

i can just imagine his tail trailing down the dip in your spine as you ride him, or the best part

when you'd surprise him by tugging on it

it'd happen at those times where its your turn to take control during your nighttime charades,, yk y'all like to switch it up

just a lil tug is all it takes sometimes

he'd harshly bite down on his bottom lip, "y'n" he'd let out in a low growl that makes you clench and squeeze down on his cock even more

eyes rolling to the back of his head, jaw and thighs clenching in sheer pleasure as the feeling of it equates to that of him teetering over the age of bustin

he'd definitely use his tail to choke you out when you're about to cum

i just feel like tails can do so much more than depict the emotions he is feeling at that very moment

he'd honestly use it however way you wish for him too as long as you're fine with it and it makes you feel good

like him fucking you from behind as his hands grip at your ass and his tail wraps around your hair and tug on it...??? damnnn

𝒇𝒍𝒆𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒃𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 ━━━ 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑

⤷ feedback and reblogs are always much appreciated ! feel free to ask through my inbox if you would like to join my nsfw taglist. ♡

also i am sorry if this is bad </3 she was written at like 3am last night!

[smehur]

More Harry/Draco fics I loved

I'm reading so much fic, I don't have time to read the actual books! And my Read Later list still keeps growing! Thank you, Drarry Tumblr, for feeding me so well. Here's a little something in return.

In the order of reading them:

Bitter Honey, Green Night by Faith Wood

An inn, an Auror, a criminal, a mystery.

I loved this story for the seduction, and the tension, and one of the most exquisite, most intimate sex scenes I've ever encountered. Even weeks after reading, it still lingers in my mind and I can envision it with almost painful clarity. I admit I wished the story went on: although the main conflict got a satisfying resolution, there could've been a bit more closure (read: another sex scene). Not a critique, mind you--if I were in the author's shoes, I'd have probably stopped there too--just the longings of an insatiable fan.

i was having visions of sugared pastry (cooked up in clarified butter) by infectiousdisease, solifuge

Draco Malfoy doesn't remember a time before his eating disorder. Not that he'd call it that.

This one gutted me in all the right ways. Draco with an eating disorder passed on from Narcissa clicked for me with frightening ease. It just rings so true? The unflinching depictions of his mental and physical illness, of his relations with his dysfunctional family and the bullying he inflicted on others made my stomach clench--and I loved it. I also loved how the horrors of the war were communicated as subtext, reflected in Draco's war against himself, rather than explicitly, to great effect. I loved the soft things too: Draco's relationship with Harry developing between the lines, the cathartic trial scene and the well-earned beginnings of recovery, all written in brisk, efficient prose that cuts to the marrow. An absolute gem of a fic.

Tea and No Sympathy by who_la_hoop

It's Potter's fault, of course, that Draco finds himself trapped in the same twenty-four-hour period, repeating itself over and over again. It's been nearly a year since the unpleasant business at Hogwarts, and Draco's getting on with his life quite nicely, thank you, until Harry sodding Potter steps in and ruins it all, just like always. At first, though, the time loop seems liberating. For the first time in his life, he can do anything, say anything, be anything, without consequence. But the more Draco repeats the day, the more he realises the uncomfortable truth: he's falling head over heels for the speccy git. And suddenly, the time loop feels like a trap. For how can he ever get Harry to love him back when time is, quite literally, against him?

Easily one of the loveliest stories I've read in this fandom so far. Draco is such an unmitigated darling; I rooted for him deeply, while fearing at the same time that he'd fuck things up irreparably, lol. And Harry, dear, pure, clueless Harry, with his long-time crush that's teased but never fully elaborated. There's also a little owl, heart-warming moments between Draco and his parents, his unrelenting focus on clothes and a scene where he goes jogging in a Muggle park wearing robes (and little else).

All that said, the end left me feeling weirdly cheated. (Spoiler alert!) Harry says it himself: it's not fair that Draco had their first kiss without him. Was Draco's exploration of the timeloop selfish, or just inconsiderate, or entirely justified? What would Harry have done in his shoes? Not gonna lie: I kept mulling over this for days.

Mortal Frame by tackytiger

Draco’s on a mission, and this time it's personal. But it's not easy to track down something that no one wants to talk about, especially when Harry Potter keeps popping up everywhere Draco goes. Though at least he’s on Draco’s side this time, and if he happens to be useful, and kind, and great in bed—well, Draco’s not exactly complaining. The story of three pubs, one Horcrux, four overpriced sandwiches, and two damaged men just trying to make sure that Bellatrix Lestrange stays dead.

Oh, this was such a treat. Mysterious, atmospheric and reticent in just the perfect measure, it had me wide-eyed and heart-aching and mouth-watering. Most of my reading is about Harry and Draco getting together, and I'm always surprised when stories where they're already a couple (of one sort or another) manage to evoke in me such deep longing. If you haven't already, go read this now.

À Bon Chat by oknowkiss

Draco Malfoy didn’t intend to lead a life of crime after the war. It’s just that being good had turned out so incomprehensibly boring. Now he's thirty-five, a fully redeemed member of society, the darling of the wizarding social pages, and a newly minted consultant for Gawain Robards' Investigative Research division. In his spare time, he enjoys good whisky, casual sex, and moonlighting as an art thief. His biggest score yet is fast approaching and he's got everything planned down to the minute. Everything, that is, until the unexpected appearance of a newly-divorced Harry Potter. Now that Potter's in the picture, Draco's no longer certain if he's the pursuer or the prize.

Omg, this fic. I don't even know where to start with the praise. It is so well-written, and so well-researched, and it offers such insight, not only into our beloved characters, but into human nature in general. I still can't decide whether I entirely bought the ending or not. But that didn't lessen my enjoyment of the story; it even contributed to it by making me engage with it on a deeper level. I remain astonished and humbled.

Tagging the authors I managed to find on here: @faith2wood, @oknowkiss, @tackytigerfic. Thank you for enriching my life! 💚

[emelinstriker]

Mink (Ink MK) ♡ Opinions

Minky-Mink needs love too y'know.

Even if some people disagree with the choice of one's lover based on past experiences with said inky entity...

Also not gonna lie, I probably got the layout of Flower Fruit Mountain messed up cuz I just went purely by memory, so if something changed over the course of the show, and it shouldn't be like that in the current timeframe of the story, just ignore it- I can't be bothered with looking back at all the episodes involving the mountain and whatever happens on it- fdhgnfdhghfdg

Art drawn by me

♡ ~ Fluff ~ ♡ 

You and your friend MK were walking towards the waterfall on Flower Fruit Mountain. MK was supposed to train with Monkey King today, and you just decided to go with him to visit Sun Wukong again after not having seen him since the beach party you had following the downfall of the Brotherhood. You even brought some peach-flavored snacks for him!

Once MK split the waterfall and you entered, you almost immediately spotted Wukong seemingly napping on his peach tree. MK decided to grab his attention, "Monkey King! We're here!"

Monkey King opens his eyes and grinned, lazily waving. "Hey, bud. You're early." Then he noticed you before jumping off the tree to talk to the two of you. "Oh hey, (Y/N). What brings you here today? I don't think you said anything about joining in on training."

You shook your head, waving your hand dismissively as you let out a nervous chuckle. "Oh- Ah, no... I'm just here to visit. I haven't seen you since the beach party... And I brought snacks for you!" You then began to drop your backpack to shuffle around in it, grabbing some of the peach-flavored snacks. MK just stared at you in both awe and shock... How did you manage to fit all of those in there?! Meanwhile, Wukong snickered at the sight of all those snacks in your arms. He crossed his arms with a grin.

"Oh damn, you brought a lot... You sure these are for me? I could just, you know, use my hair and recreate those... Would've been a lot less expensive-" "No, no! I insist!" You interrupted him with a sheepish smile. "I'd rather have you eat actual food than food made from your hair, to be honest. It's a lot more comforting not having to ignore the fact that your food would technically be made out of your hair."

Wukong shrugged as he took the snacks from you. "Eh, point taken." He then glanced back over to your backpack and paused as something caught his eye. And yet, he didn't say anything as he slowly frowned in suspicion. His frown was quickly masked by a smile. "So, do you guys wanna come in?"

You grabbed your backpack off the ground and nodded before making your way inside with MK. Placing your bag on the couch, you turn back towards Wukong with a small smile as you place your backpack against the side of the couch. "Thanks for letting me hang out with you two, Monkey King. Otherwise I would've just spent the entire day at Pigsy's."

He waved his hand dismissively, "Don't mention it. It's a lot more fun hanging with me and MK than at the noodle shop, if I'm being honest here." He said kind of smugly. "Who knows what could happen next? What kind of adventures await us while simply being in this room?" Monkey King added dramatically. Then his eyes landed on your backpack again as he got suspicious once more. Just to make sure of what he saw, his eyes flickered golden for a moment to confirm your backpack's content to him, revealing exactly what he assumed he saw... He had to bring it up now, because what he saw was dangerous...

"Say, (Y/N)... Have you brought anything else besides snacks?"

You tilted your head at him in confusion. "Um... No? I only brought snacks as gifts. I don't have other gifts for you, sorry..."

He shook his head and crossed his arms. "I'm not talking about specifically gifts for me... I'm talking about if you brought anything else in general with you." You blinked at him, still confused, but at least he clarified his question.

"Um... I can just show you my backpack if that helps... I don't own any weapons or anything like that though, so I'm not sure why you're asking about this-" You said as you picked up your backpack, placing it on the couch. The moment you opened it, both MK and his mentor peer into your backpack with you. The ginger-furred simian already saw what was in there, but the sight shocked MK as he looks a bit... Confused? Betrayed?

"What... W-Why do you have that scroll, (Y/N)?" MK asked in disbelief as he looked at the black and blue scroll sitting at the bottom of your now-empty-of-snacks backpack. You were just purely confused about why both were stressing so much about the scroll... The scroll has never been evil since you got it a long while ago from your dad... All it did was give you a new friend... Or rather lover. And he's never done anything in the months you've known him personally.

"Nezha took the scroll and brought it back to where it came from... How do you have it? Did he give it to you? Did you steal it?" Wukong asked with a raised eyebrow. You nervously scratched your cheek. While your answer was simple and you didn't plan anything malicious, you really didn't feel comfortable with the way Wukong sounded... It was as if you were being interrogated for doing something horrible.

While you were trapped in the scroll with your friends before, something they didn't know about was how the scroll's curse never actually did anything to you, at all. And instead of reliving some form of memory of yours or the past like the others, you actually were just lost and wandering aimlessly... Until you met the curse and talked to it. Or, well, him... Because the curse took on the form of MK, but made out of ink, including imitating his voice. He probably took on your friend's form to appear friendlier, which worked to an extent... After all, you weren't used to seeing MK's monkey form made out of ink.

Long story short, you became friends with the scroll's curse and even got a lot closer after your dad gave you the now much more docile scroll... How he got his hands on it, you never questioned since this was far from the weirdest achievements he's managed to reach. You would not be surprised if he had connections to the Underworld or the Celestial Realm. He was probably also the one who brought back Mink. Because you remembered how the curse was practically blasted and defeated by MK before being used by Azure Lion... Well, the curse was responsive once more when you opened the scroll.

"W-Well, um... My dad gave it to me and told me to open it whenever I'm in trouble or feel lonely... S-So... Uh..." You stammered out. MK blinked at you in confusion and suspicion while his mentor's glare was fully set on suspicion.

"(Y/N), you've seen what that scroll does... even with the curse not actively haunting us or our past and future. Especially if it falls into the wrong hands... I'm not saying you're directly the one with the wrong hands, but you could be at risk of losing that scroll to someone who would only do bad with it. Azure Lion was one of those..." Monkey King states firmly, trailing off with a bit of sadness when he thought about his fallen brother.

You frowned at him. "But... Mink wouldn't let that happen twice... And I already am carrying the scroll around everywhere I go..." Your friends looked at you in confusion. Ah, right... They didn't know who Mink was. So you added, "Mink is the scroll's ink demon curse... I named him that myself and he seemed to like it-" "Wait, wait, wait-" MK cut you off, "You named the curse? And gendered it??"

You nodded awkwardly. Monkey King pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. "You know what? How about you just give me the scroll and I'll make sure it reaches Nezha again. Or I might as well just bring it back to the Underworld myself." He then reached his hand into your backpack. However, before he could grab the item, the scroll began to move. Monkey King and his successor took a step back in fear of the scroll lashing out at them and sucking them back inside to trap them. You on the other hand just casually reached your hand into your backpack, which seemed to stop the scroll from moving. Then you pulled it out and and held it in your hand.

"Mink doesn't like it when someone else holds the scroll of memory after all that happened... Usually I'm the only one he doesn't mind being carried by." You said, shrugging. Your words only seemed to confuse your friends more and more. 'How could you be so casually with such a dangerous weapon of entrapment?', they were probably wondering. Then you got an idea. "How about I introduce you guys to him? I know you technically already met him, but he's changed since you guys have last seen him..." And before they could respond, you open the scroll. Dread is plastered across your two friends' faces as they prepare to fight.

As the familiar black ink splat onto the ground beneath the scroll, a kneeling figure was formed by it on top of the small puddle. An inky figure with a swaying monkey tail and blue lights for a face... It took on the form of MK as it seemingly grinned at the real MK and his mentor.

"It really has been a while... MK, Sun Wukong."

There was some serious tension in the air as they both glare daggers into the ink demon in front of them. Mink stretches a bit as he stands up from his kneeling position. "No need to look so hostile. I'm not even doing anything." He then wraps an arm around you and pulls you against his chest, wrapping his tail around your leg. Despite him being made out of ink, the form the curse took on was quite solid and somewhat warm to the touch. "I'm just here to make sure my beloved human feels comfortable."

"MK, Monkey King, meet Mink. He's my, um... goopy boyfriend." You said sheepishly, to which Mink seemed to smugly grin at the other two. MK and Monkey King were both baffled. You were dating a literal curse placed upon the Scroll of Memory to keep others trapped in it! How could they not be shocked??

Though, for MK it wasn't so much the fact that you were dating a curse that confused him, instead it was the fact that the curse decided to use its ink replica of him to be affectionate with you. This, in of itself, made him feel uncomfortable and a bit disgusted since he saw you more as something like a sibling... And basically seeing a depiction of himself being romantically involved with you was just weird to him.

"...Alright, that scroll really has to be returned though-" Monkey King started, but then was cut off the moment he tried reaching for the scroll in your hands. An audible, ominous growl could be heard coming from Mink, which sounded more like a corrupted monster than the usual voice replica of MK.  The curse glared at the Great Sage Equal To Heaven while holding you close.

"That scroll now belongs to (Y/N). No one else will have it. I refuse to let anyone ever separate me from them!" Mink said angrily, which was a huge difference in behavior compared to when the group was trapped within the scroll.

Meanwhile, you also held tightly onto the scroll, hugging it close to your chest as you shook your head. "Sorry... But Mink and I already agreed on him staying with me... Which does unfortunately mean I have to keep the scroll around me at all times..."

"But does it really have to take on my form??" MK whined in response as he eyed Mink.

Mink shrugged in return before letting go of you to cross his arms. "What can I say? I just like this form. It's simple, not too tall or too short, not unfamiliar to (Y/N)... And I get to off-handedly remind you of our conversation a while ago! Isn't that fun~?" He said that last part rather mockingly, which made MK clench his fists. On the other hand, Monkey King's eyes softened a little as he looked at you, worried.

"(Y/N), think about this... Even if it- he- the curse, isn't doing anything right now, you can't forget about that scroll being more of a weapon against even the divine... Mink might trap more people in the scroll. And maybe even trap you in there agai-" "I would never do that!" Mink angrily cut him off, MK's replica voice sounded insulted. "Out of all the beings in existence that can get imprisoned, my beloved human will never be one of them! They can enter and leave the scroll freely whenever they want. It's already like their second home anyway." The ink curse added firmly before taking your hand into his.

Monkey King scoffed. "In my opinion, it would still be best to bring you back to where you belong. In the scroll, and in the Underworld."

"Well too bad, bud. I'm not leaving. You can't keep me from (Y/N)." Mink retaliated. The MK copy then seemed to pout as he shows a blue-glowing tongue, pointing it in the simian's direction like a stubborn child. Monkey King's eye seemed to twitch in annoyance.

"Mink isn't even outside of the scroll in public... He only ever comes out whenever we're alone..." You added, trying to defend the curse. Monkey King hesitantly sighed.

It took some time and some more arguments, but eventually MK and his mentor gave in and agreed to let you keep Mink... On the condition that Mink continues to stay in the scroll around people, and of course that you never use the scroll against others, even if you hated them. As if you were going to plan anything with the scroll anyway...

But on the other hand, Monkey King told Nezha about you, Mink, the scroll, and your relationship with the scroll's curse, and... uh...

He was not happy.

Like, at all.

However, that did not stop Mink from being with you. This actually ended up becoming more of a game of Nezha trying to "rescue" you while Mink would just hide you in the scroll whenever the Lotus Prince was around. And while Monkey King usually wouldn't help you with Mink, he would slowly start to join in on this little game and be the one to hide the scroll, pretending like he didn't see it. Just to mess with Nezha for the fun of it.

Soon, the rest of the crew found out about Mink's more permanent reappearance. While it also took a while, they did slowly start to accept him. Pigsy was the most pissed off one, just because Mink would end up leaving ink everywhere he went in the noodle shop... And of course, when Pigsy would tell you to it all clean up due to Mink technically being your responsibility, all the ink on the ground would suddenly disappear the moment you turned the corner to grab a mop. Sandy was probably the most open to the idea of you finally having found someone to love. Even if that someone was the literal curse that kept the group within the scroll... But at least Mink was nice to talk to! On top of that, Tang tried talking to him about history since Mink knew about everything immortalized within the scroll, to which Mink would ominously reply, "Wanna see for yourself?"

And of course, MK and Mei were still very much on edge... Especially MK due to, well, the entire topic of you literally dating an ink copy of him. Though, Mei kind of over it after realizing that she could now have another cool friend to hang out and have fun with. Mink's ink really helps in scary pranks, after all...

Then there was your relationship...

"Listen. You didn't specify when you said you wanted to have our next date on Flower Fruit Mountain." Mink said with a sly grin. You gave him a comedically unamused look.

"But I said Flower Fruit Mountain, not Flower Fruit Mountain within the scroll."

"Oh c'mon, there's not much of a difference anyway. The mountain barely even changed from the memories in the scroll. In my opinion, anyway. Besides, the actual mountain wouldn't let me do this-"

Suddenly a bunch of fireflies were summoned around you two as you sat on a cliff, leaning against Mink's inky body. You looked at them in awe as they lit up the night sky of the mountain's memory. "...They're beautiful."

"I could just throw in something cheesy. But the sentence of 'Not as beautiful as you' wouldn't exactly apply..." He started as you looked at him a bit offended.

But before you could chew him out over that comment, he added, "...It wouldn't apply because I've seen many use this line in the past, and literally none of the memories displayed within the entire history of the scroll's archive would compare to you. Not even all of them combined..." Which in turn made you snort as your offended look faded. Mink gave you a sly grin again at your reaction.

"...Just in my opinion, sweetheart."

[ Masterlist ]

[chuuyasheaven]

Heya! Happy valentines day darling ♡ I'm here for the event if that's ok :D

So I'd like Dazai + "5: I know you can take it, baby.” "10: You taste so fuckin' sweet, y'know that?” and "11: You're mine, and I'm only yours. Got it?”" (basically 5, 10 and 11) with a breeding kink? I mean, not to get the reader pregnant, just to come inside you know heheheheh~

And also, would you make it semi public? Add some excitement but they don't get caught. It can happen anywhere you have in mind :)

Thanks and also, no pressure!! ♡

𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭: 5, 10, 11!

“i know you can take it, baby.”

“You taste fuckin' sweet, y'know that?”

“You're mine and I'm only yours, got it?”

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: Dazai is a little jelly and takes you right in the agency while the others are having lunch! <3

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: Fem!Reader, Jealous!Dazai, Pussy eating, Petnames, Semi-Public Sex (but they won't get caught)

𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: When i tell you i gasped. YOU?! AREN'T YOU LIKE MORE POPULAR THAN ME??? But yeah, thanks for the prompts! Have a nice day, Ash!!

“Hey, bella, wanna skip this mission together?” Dazai asked with a grin on a face, waiting for your response.

“Yeah, she won't because she'll accompany me on my mission.”, Ranpo replied.

“Ranpo's right, I'll have to come with him, but we'll be back before lunch, Dazai! So no worries.” you backed up Ranpo's statement.

“Can't they just send Atsushi with you? He'll probably be more than happy to do so.” Dazai said, Kunikida joined the conversation.

“Well, Atsushi won't because he's already with Kyouka and Yosano. Since you would reject the mission, like always, we'd figured that [Name] would do fine.”, Dazai just looked at all three of you with a defeated face, but didn't carry the conversation on.

~

“[Name]! There you are, it's almost lunch yʼknow?!” Dazai asked with a playful pout, which you responded to.

“Yeah, i know. But Ranpo just wanted some candy and i treated him some sweets, if that's okay. We also talked for a while and forgot the time..” you explained.

Dazai couldn't help but to feel a little jealous, you couldn't blame him though!

“So, [Name], wanna come downstairs with me? The others must be arriving right now.”, just as you wanted to answer, Dazai did already for you.

“Sorry, but she's already having lunch with me up here! You can go downstairs though, they're probably waiting, Ranpo.”

You would've lied if you said Dazai's tone didn't sound like a small amount of Jealousy.

“Well, alright! Have fun, you both.”

As Ranpo left, you turned to Dazai with a confused face. “Why did you tell him that? I could've answered, y'know?”

“Bella, i know you would say the exact thing, but let's forget about that, shall we?”, as you wanted to reply, Dazai came closer to you.

“Let's forget about the fact that you ditched me for Ranpo,” He straddled you in your chair, having his knee in between your thighs.

Now whispering in your ear-

“but don't you ever forget the fact that, you're mine and I'm only yours, got it?” you could feel his smirk, as Dazai went further down reaching your neck.

Feeling his hot breath against your neck, he left some kisses there. These kisses turned into small bites.

You slowly felt yourself getting more aroused by the second.

“Dazai, w-we can't do it here..the others might-”, Dazai interrupted you, “See us? Let them, they should see that i don't share, bella.”,

Was he serious?

How did he go from playful to jealous and possessive? Not gonna lie though, it turned you on. Also him just taking you now, with the possibility that someone could walk in, made this even more exciting.

“Hey, Bella,” Dazai spoke to interrupt your racing thoughts, “your soaking up my knee, are you really turned on by this? If that's so, let's step this up, shall we?”, you wondered what he meant by that, just for him to get off of you.

As Dazai repositioned, your breath hitched slightly, as you felt Dazai's against your clothed core. He took off your panties and hid them under the desk.

Now that your cunt is free from your soaked panties, Dazai started making out with your pussy.

You let out a quick, loud moan, covering your mouth after and blushing. He did even better by seeing that reaction. Dazai tried making you loose some noise.

“You taste so fuckin' sweet, y'know that? That's such a sweet treat not even Ranpo could handle, right?” he slightly teased.

Still no sound from you, Dazai moved his free hand to rub on your clit, adding more pleasure.

This is where you lost it.

“Ah! D-dazai this is to much..c-can't take it!-”, You moaned, thinking he'll actually slow down a little, oh how you were mistaken.

You just got a quick chuckle from him.

“I know you can take it, baby. Besides, whenever i do this it made you cum quicker, we have to hurry up before they come back, bella.” Dazai replied.

When he finished the sentence, he added more pressure onto your clit, which made the coil in your stomach almost burst.

Just as he gave your cunt one good lick, it snapped, you finally came.

Dazai licked up the remaining juices and handed you your soaked panties from earlier.

This saw Dazai as a good time to tease, “Guess you have to walk around in those, bella. Just a reminder that you belong to me, right?”

THE END WAS SO LAZY- But i hope you like it! Also I forgot abt the breeding kink- just noticed!

[descendant-of-truth]

What I like about this scene is how it tricks you into thinking it's just here for a quick laugh when it's actually the beginning of a surprisingly deep look into part of Rockman's character - specifically, how he handles lying.

See, Rockman's never really... lied in this show before, I don't think. He doesn't usually have a reason to, but even then I would describe him as being honest to a fault.

But when put under the pressure to seem cool to Trill, a young child who idolizes him, he cracks and tells probably the most bold-faced lie of his life: that he was totally not scared by a monster movie. He's never been scared of anything! Hasn't even screamed once!

And it's. such a goofy lie to tell?? It works on Trill because he's like five years old, but to the viewer who knows him better than that, it just comes off as a funny, harmless thing to say.

Rockman does not see it as either of those things.

To him, it's not cute that Trill takes him at his word by virtue of being a young child who doesn't know any better. If anything, that's part of the problem; maybe if Trill didn't believe him and just teased him about it instead, he wouldn't have to worry about lying so much. But as it stands, Trill is believing a lie, and it eats at Rockman throughout the episode.

And at this point you kinda start to guess how the rest of it is going to go down. Rockman will eventually come clean to Trill, who's gonna say that Rockman is still cool even if he screams at scary movies, and they'll all have a big laugh and move on.

This is not what happens.

Instead, Rockman digs his heels into the lie further, stopping himself from screaming every time Trill tries to scare him (which is a realistic toddler thing to do if I've ever seen one), until he eventually loses his trademark patience and yells at him to cut it out.

And in a move that defies the usual expectation of setup and payoff, Rockman never actually. tells Trill that he lied. and there's a part of me that's bothered by that, but what we get in exchange is so interesting to me that I can't help but feel it makes up for it.

Something to note is that, throughout this episode, it's stated that Trill likely sees Rockman as an older brother, and so he's affectionately referred to as "big brother" by Roll a few times in a teasing sort of way.

It's all fun and sweet and par for the course; I think everyone knew that Trill was going to act as a younger brother to Rockman as soon as he was introduced, so having characters bring attention to it isn't unusual. And Rockman doesn't really comment on it either way... until Netto calls him that at the end of the episode.

This. this is the scene that really makes me go insane. just absolutely bonkers

Because like, okay. listen. this is only episode four of the season. it's not at all surprising that Rockman doesn't consider himself to be Trill's brother, because he's known him for all of three days and he's only been talking for one of them.

But that phrasing.

If he had just left it at "I'm not his big brother," we'd all have a nice chuckle and go "sure buddy, I'd like to see you say that by the end of this season." But he has a qualifier for WHY he's not Trill's brother, and it's because he lied to him. about not being scared of a movie.

And notice how matter-of-factly he says this, too. Remember how troubled he was earlier by the fact he had lied at all? Well it seems that, after perpetuating that lie for the rest of the episode, he's gotten past those doubts and reached acceptance in the idea that... he's lost his brother privileges.

Suddenly we've learned something very interesting about how Rockman handles lying, and it's that, while he's surprisingly capable of keeping a lie up, he finds that even one as innocent as this makes him disqualified from being Trill's family.

Which is Totally Normal and Not at All Concerning Behavior

But you know what. we can make it worse.

Imagine with me, for a moment, that all of the Saito Lore from the games remains true in the anime. If that was the case, then Netto still hasn't been told about it this many seasons in, making it a secret that Rockman keeps every day - a lie of omission.

What if the reason Netto hasn't been told about it for this long, the reason it seems so easy for Rockman to never bring it up, is because he's long since decided that he's not Netto's brother anymore.

"After all, I did lie to him."

And it just keeps going because if we decide to take that angle with it, then it suddenly becomes a lot more pointed that Yuuichiro is the one to assure Rockman that lying to your little brother is Sometimes Okay, Actually

Like of course he would say this, the guy who encouraged Rockman to lie to Netto in the first place in order to keep up the image of being a Reliable NetNavi

Don't get me wrong, it's a really interesting character trait for Rockman to have even without adding game context to it, but using Trill as a parallel to Netto in this scenario adds a special something to the whole thing that I'm never going to be able to stop thinking about

[themultifandomgal]

Severide x reader please where she somehow injures herself and calls Severide on shift. He hears the panic in her voice, drops everything to go see her and make sure she's okay. Thank you!

Kelly Severide- I’d Drop Everything

Trigger warning- blood

YN and Kelly have been dating for a while now and they recently moved in together. Kelly is very protective of YN, wanting to make sure she is ok always. She only has to get a paper cut and he basically becomes a doctor, mainly because YN faints at the sight of blood, even if it's her own.

Today YN is at home cleaning while Kelly is at work. YN's favourite music blaring throughout the house as she dances around the kitchen. YN she sticks her hand in the warm soapy water in sink to clean the cups and plates left from the night before and this morning when the feeling of burning runs across her hand. Quickly lifting her hand out of the water she notices blood trickle down her arm. Immediately YN's stomach churns and she begins to feel lightheaded. Grabbing the tea towel next to her she wraps her hand up as best she can before grabbing hold of her phone and calling the first person to come to her mind, Kelly.

Kelly was eating a sandwich when the call came through. Everyone notices the smile that creeps on to his face

"The missus calling?" Capp smirks

"Shut up" Kelly can't help but keep his smile on his face as he answers the call "hey baby what's up?"

"Kel" immediately his smile drops hearing the panic in his girlfriends voice

"Baby what's wrong what's happened?"

"I cut my hand... Kelly the blood there's a lot of blood" before YN could even tell him what happened he was already on his feet knowing that she hates blood

"Ok ok I'll be home in 5 minutes. Breath ok can you do that?" Kelly leaves the firehouse, not saying a word to anyone, he gets into his car and starts up the engine

"Hurts Kel" YN whimpers

"I know I know but I want you to lie down on the couch ok and keep your arm in the air ok?"

"Ok"

Kelly rushes through the door to find his girlfriend lying on the couch crying

"I'm here now. Let me look" gently Kelly takes the tea towel, now soaked with blood, from YNs hand "ok I'm gonna get the first aid kit" he says before walking off.

Quickly he returns with the green bag, unzipping it he takes out the alcohol wipes "ok this is gonna sting a little. Take a deep breath ok" YN does as Kelly asks. Whimpering at the sting the alcohol caused, Kelly does his best to sooth her with gentle words "ok it's not to bad, the water probably made it look worse that it is. I'll bandage it up and then we can get you something to eat and drink ok?" Kelly does this as gently and quickly as he can.

Once done he helps YN sit up slowly before going to get her a drink and some cookies go eat

"Thanks" YN mutters quietly "I feel so stupid"

"Don't. It's ok. I best phone Boden, let him know I'm staying home for the rest of the day, hell I haven't even told him I left"

"Kel" YN sighs "you should have... Damn I shouldn't have rang you"

"Of course you should have. I didn't need to come home to my girlfriend passed out on the floor" he chuckles

"But you left work for a small cut"

"YN, I'd drop everything if you asked me to. I'll be back in a bit" Kelly walks off into the kitchen to phone Boden

"Severide where the hell are you?"

"Sorry chief. YN cut her hand, had to come home you know how she is with blood" Kelly hears Boden sigh

"How is she?"

"Shaken up, I've given her something to eat and drink, but I wouldn't be surprised if she feel sick for the rest of the day. I need to take the rest of the day off, I hope you understand"

"Of course I can, send her our love"'

"Will do thanks" Kelly hangs up the phone walking back to the living room to find YN lying back on couch "how you feeling?"

"Tired" YM mumbles "feel a little sick"

"Have a nap. You'll feel better then" Kelly places a kiss on the head "I'll make you some dinner for later" YN nods her head a little closing her eyes. She feels a blanket being placed over her before falling asleep.

[joelsbeard]

haha it’s me again, ur writing is srsly addicting you’re never getting rid of me😝

could u mby write some hcs for joel and reader when they’re parents? let’s say they had sarah and she’s in the energetic kiddie stage so they literally never get to fuck anymore because they have to worry about her all the time, so when they do get some alone time they js go crazy with it?

little specific and i’m sorry about that😭😭 js wanted to see what ur thots on this areeee<333

LMAO the pre-outbreak!joel horny gets to all of us!!! I'm also planning on writing some fluffier stuff too with joel, reader, sarah, and ellie as well :)

Joel would be so understanding with not pushing you to do anything you don't want to, especially after giving birth. He tells you he'll wait as long as he needs to until you're ready ❤️ You also can't keep your hands off your man tho lol so you end up waiting ~ 2 months to have sex (doesn't mean you weren't fooling around before tho hehe)

He loved your body before you were pregnant, while you were pregnant, and after giving birth!! He thinks the extra meat on you (lol) and cute little lightning marks are adorable bc it just means you went through all of carrying and growing his baby and giving birth ❤️🥺

And he's always like "you're so beautiful thank you for growing our babies and protecting them for 9 months 🥺"

Obviously once you have sarah you guys are sleep deprived as hell during the little free time you get, but you also enjoy just spending time together as a family of 3 or just having the time to cuddle when she's asleep or if tommy is helping watch her.

Your first time together after giving birth is probably a little nerve wracking but it ends up all just being in your head since you and joel make sure to go slow, and if anything is sore he always stops to check in with you first 🥺

Once you adjust and it starts feeling good you're like "godd, did you get thicker since last time? You feel so fucking big babe🥺😭" and joel almost cums right there hearing you say how big he is 🥵 meanwhile he just laughs and is like "you're too sweet baby. But god you feel so damn tight, I can feel you squeezing my cock, you feel so damn good baby" and bc its been 2 months he's trying his best not to cum in like 5 seconds lol

Joel Miller is a tits man. I mean tbh he loves your tits and your ass, even your tummy and lil toes lol but if he was held at gunpoint and needed to pick one I would think he's a tits man.

He probably went nuts when you were pregnant watching your tits get huge lol, even when sarah's nursing he'll look over and be like "those were mine first little miss, fyi 😠" LOL or he'll always find excuses to stop what he was doing just so he can watch you and look at your tiddies like 😍 😭 men 🙄

Sarah and ellie probably both prefer eating directly from the boob vs bottles lol and whenever it's joels turn to take care of them he tries to give you alone time so you can rest, so when ellie or sarah are hungry and he has to feed them with the bottle and they wrinkle their noses and push his hand away he's like "i know, i'd prefer the real thing too huh babygirl, but you gotta work with me here so mama can get some rest" LMAO

I'm not gonna lie, once you and joel are fully sexually active again after 2 months, since it can be so hard for you to find time together and you also don't wanna leave sarah with someone else yet, when she's dead to the world you probably get a little handsy with each other 😭 you're like, she's only 3 months and she's asleep, she's not gonna be aware of what we're doing 😭. You guys are just too desperate for each other to let that opportunity slide lol. Or sometimes she'll be in her bassinet, her crib, or in her play pen and you and joel will take the baby monitor and go to some part of the house so he can finally rail you 😭

When she's around 3 or 4 and is more independent, you'll have tommy babysit her for a couple of hours at his house or something so you guys can finally get some alone time (thank god for uncle tommy lol) and he knows you two ask him to babysit to give yourselves a little break from running around after her, but also bc he knows yall need some of that alone time lol.

It was hard the first couple of times you had someone else watch sarah (even if its tommy) bc you and joel are such helicopter parents and you're always worried about your lil babygirl lol, but you guys also missed having that time between just the two of you

Joel probably gets a little more handsy with you at home than usual bc with taking care of sarah it's not like you can fuck when you want to, so he just has to settle for giving you more ass grabs and grinding his bulge against your ass like a perv when he hugs you from behind LMAOO

It's not always him that initiates it though, you'll rub your foot up and down his leg sometimes or wiggle your ass on his crotch lol and he'll be like "you think it's funny to tease me like that knowing i can't do anything huh baby? just wait til i get you back for that" but he can never tease you too bad bc he wants you too much and he feels bad sometimes when he makes you beg too much lol

When your milk ducts are clogged you know damn well who's helping you out with them lol. I mean, what can he do it's not like he wants to see his girl in pain 🥺 it's just a bonus that he enjoys helping lol. He's like I ain't no bitch if my girl's in pain imma help her even if it means i have to drink her damn breastmilk lol (not that he even minds it in the first place tho 😭 he basically gets an excuse to suck on your tiddies)

Or sometimes they get so full and sore and you're just like :( "babe my boobs are so sore :(" and joel of course is like 😈 "oh no my poor baby, you want me to hold them for you?" you always say yes lol, and maybe end up fucking oop

It probably turns him on knowing that not only did you carry and grow his baby for 9 months but that even after birth you continue to nurture her from your own body bc women are just amazing like that lol

When Sarah was around 4-5 you guys were full on fucking in the morning and you made the mistake of not locking your door (you were still getting used to having a child living in your house lol) and she ran in bc she wanted to bug you two to ask for breakfast. thank god she doesn't remember it much afterwards (but you and joel do 😳) and you just told her you were having a really big hug before you sent her to her room saying you'd be there in a minute. Poor joel basically went totally soft after that 😭

Other times you'd just make sure she was really focused on playing with her little dolls or watching a movie and you and joel would go to your room to fuck 😭

[silver-itallics]

Last Light

Warnings: canon typical violence, heavy angst, hurt no comfort, you guys will be mad at me

a/n: I was thinking about when Leigh mentioned in the saw commentary that someone wrote a monologue from Lawrence's point of view after leaving the bathroom and I wanted to write one for Adam

"I'm a liar?"

"I wouldn't lie to you."

Liar, lies. Seems like either way, Adam is getting screwed over.

He sits in the dark, dingy bathroom, his eyes still struggling to adjust. His throat is raw and aching from all the screaming and crying. Not even the hardest sex could have done that to him.

God, he's really gonna die having fucked one person.

All of his relationships were mediocre, even the platonic ones. Scott treated him like shit, the guy probably hasn't even noticed that he's gone.

Has anyone?

Lawrence is someone that would be noticed, he's got a wife and kids for fucks sake.

"I've got a family too, Lawrence! I don't talk to them anymore, that's my mistake. A mistake I'd like to fix."

One of the last things he remembers at the apartment is scribbling "Call mom?" On a crumpled post it and sticking it to the wall. The paper has probably fallen down by now. Forgotten.

Are his parents even looking for him?

Probably not. They probably haven't noticed either.

Everything that Adam does ends up screwing him in the end, just like this. But he can't really blame anyone but himself, can he? Not even $200 was worth being stuck in this bathroom. Doesn't even soften the fact that he'll probably be here forever.

The money was meant to go for his food. Not a camera, not developing fluid, not even that shiny new pokemon game Adam wanted. Food.

A necessity he barely even had.

"Why? Call it my need to eat."

He remembers snapping at Lawrence like it was the most obvious answer. But food is a luxury even Adam can't afford. The guy lives off of ramen noodles and sodas from the gas station. Sometimes he even wonders why he never gained any weight since he ate such shit.

His mom was never the greatest cook, but he'd take soggy meatloaf and unseasoned mashed potatoes any day.

At the thought, Adam's stomach rumbles. His guts ache from hunger, but he's not a stranger to it. That's usually how his day goes.

He can't even blame Jigsaw for trapping him here. But in all honesty, Adam has done so much self sabotaging, that he's probably done worse to himself than the man that left him here.

He's felt worse betrayal than when the dead man stood up, peeled the fake skin off his skull and left him here.

"Game over!"

Dead man. Adam squints in the darkness, trying to make out Zep's corpse. He's not even sure why. The first time he saw a dead body, or what he thought was one, he puked his guts out into the tub. Couldn't even keep down his latest meal.

He'll probably starve even quicker now.

The room smells like blood, and his fingers are sticky from the same substance. Not only is he a voyeur, he's a killer. Maybe his last girlfriend was right: he's too angry.

Adam isn't very good at anatomy, at least the human side of it. But he knows he broke through layers of skin and bone when he'd crushed through the hospital orderly's skull.

"It's the rules!"

Knowing now, he feels guilty. Awful, even. Guy probably had a family too, even if he was a bit of a creep. Where do you draw the line of deserving a family? What's so bad that you no longer are worthy of someone related by blood? Adam's probably the worst person to ask that.

He'd stormed out on his parents after a petty argument, an excuse to leave. One that he'd been wanting to have since he was seventeen. Somehow, he'd convinced himself that they wouldn't accept him, even if they let him drop out of high school and didn't even call the cops when he left. But was that tolerance or pure disinterest?

Maybe he's not a total waste of time, since his mom had called not long before he got his power knocked out the same way he was.

"Adam, your father's not angry anymore."

Lawrence had a home, a family. A good one, too. The pictures he saw of Diana and Alison made him crack a smile. At least before the one with them tied up. He shivers, probably both from disgust and blood loss.

His shoulder aches, oozing blood all over his shitty thrift store clothes. Adam understands why Doctor Gordon left. He has some place to go, people to welcome him home with open arms. Most places Adam went, he wasn't even noticed.

He kicks with his right foot in anger, the chain rattling as he does. The metal bites into his skin and the amount of pain he's in is just frustrating at this point. Adam screams, but his voice is raw and broken.

As much as he hopes the doctor will come back for him, at least he has half the brain to know that Lawrence probably won't make it. The man that he's had the first physical touch from in months is probably bleeding out in the sewers, and there's nothing he can do about it.

He doesn't even have a choice to cut off his foot like the doctor did. Sure, the blood loss will probably kill him, but Adam is sick of waiting around for something to happen. A job to drop, a phone call.

But he can't even do that.

The hacksaw he found in the toilet had snapped in half. A result of his ever consuming anger. Seems like everything he does leads back to that.

"I see a strange mix of someone who's angry, yet apathetic. But mostly just pathetic."

If Adam isn't angry at the world, he's angry with himself. He feels like a waste of space on the good days and a tumor on the face of the earth on the bad ones. At least with photography he felt like he had a purpose, even if it was supplying creeps and weirdos with material. He wasn't really helping anyone, was he? Even Tapp ended up dead.

But Lawrence helps people. Even if he thought the guy was initially a jerk, Adam admires him. Misses the man's blood stained hands as he cupped his cheeks.

"I wanted to be a vet."

That way, he'd benefit the world somehow. Even if he was pulling tennis balls out of dogs' throats or cleaning up puke every day. He'd much rather smell vomit, as he's getting quite sick of the coppery scent of blood.

"That's nonsense. I've seen kids with brain cancer graduate high school from a hospital bed."

"They got further than I ever did."

Adam has been pretty able bodied his whole life. While he'd consider it a nuisance that his body doesn't match up with his own view of himself, that's not a disability.

Maybe his parents wouldn't even mind, maybe they'd help him with the cost of surgery and injections. But he hadn't even told them. His parents barely know who he is. Adam barely knows himself.

"What do voyeurs see when they look in the mirror?"

Nothing. The answer is nothing.

He's like a leech, sucking the energy and luck out of everyone around him.

Now he's left to sit in his own grave- metaphorically and literally. He probably won't even have the luxury of being buried or cremated.

Hopefully someone will come around and put him out of his misery. Like a calf with two heads or a dog with rabies.

But until then, he's left to wait.

[ssixely]

Sometime you gotta lie to become better.

Here's some excuses for each mealtime to (a) skip said meal or (b) eat as little as possible. I tried to include the 3 most common situations (schooldays, non-schooldays n gatherings). Hope these were helpful!

I will be updating this whenever I have new excuses!

The titles to each section ("purg3", "skip", "small" n "low c4l") are completely unrelated n are there just for fun.

Purg3 breakfast.

During schooldays (skipping):

"I'm feeling nausea cause I just woke up. If I eat now, I'll throw up." (1)

"I was planning on eating breakfast together with friends during lunch-time."

"I'm gonna be late if I eat now." (I recommend waking up late for this excuse to work!)

"I wanna grab [food] from [store] for breakfast today." (N never grab anything from said store.)

"I'll eat it on my way there." (Pack your 'breakfast' n once ur at school you can throw it away.)

During non-schooldays (eating less / skipping):

"I'm feeling nauseous cause I just woke up. If I eat now, I'll throw up. You guys eat, I'll eat later." (N then not eat later, they'll probably forget about it.) (2)

Eat a bit n say "I'm starting to feel nauseous."

"I'm still full from yesterday's dinner to be honest."

"I ate some snacks midnight, so I'm kinda full." (Which makes u able to either skip it or eat very little.)

If you wake up before the others: "I already had breakfast b4 you guys woke up."

During gatherings (eating less / skipping):

"I had breakfast just before this/at home."

"I'm feeling nauseous cause I just woke up. If I eat now, I'll throw up." (3)

"I'm a bit of a picky eatier, I'll probably eat something else later."

"I usually skip breakfasts so I can have a good lunch."

Skip lunch.

During schooldays (skipping):

If u bring lunch from home: throw it out at school when no one is looking. If someone does see it, say something like: "I'm not really that hungry n I don't want my [parent] worrying why I didn't eat."

If ur friends ask/offer something: "I had a lot for breakfast, so I'm not that hungry." or "My [parent/sibling/ect] is gonna prepare a lot of food today, so I'm not eating much so I feel hungry enough for dinner."

During non-schooldays (skipping):

"I just had breakfast, so I'm not that hungry yet."

"I usually skip lunch, breakfast n dinner are already heavy on my stomach."

During gatherings (skipping):

"I had breakfast before coming here, so I'm not hungry yet."

"I usually skip lunch."

"Breakfast made me nauseous for some reason, I'd rather skip lunch."

Small dinner.

During schooldays (eating less):

Eat a bit n say: "Had a lot to eat at school today, not that hungry."

Eat a bit n then stand up: "I got a lot of homework to do, gotta start as soon as possible." (1)

"They gave out a lot of homework today, I'll make it first n eat dinner once I'm done."

During non-schooldays (eating less):

"Feeling a little sick, don't think I can eat much."

"Breakfast/lunch is still a bit heavy on my stomach." (1)

Eat a bit n then stand up: "I got a lot of homework for [day school starts], gotta finish it as soon as possible." (2)

During gatherings (eating less):

"I'm not that hungry, kinda feeling a bit sick."

"Breakfast/lunch is still heavy on my stomach." (2)

"I'm feeling nauseous, think I ate something wrong before."

"I don't really like [food], sorry. I tried to eat a bit for the sake of [person who made it] tho."

"I ate some food before coming here cause I was really hungry."

Low c4l snack. (When someone offers.)

"Thank you," followed by (skipping):

"I just had breakfast/lunch/dinner n I'm not that hungry."

"I don't really like [snack]."

"I'm feeling a little nauseous/sick, it would be better if I didn't eat that."

"I have an allergy towards [whatever is in the offered snack]."

^ "I think I have an allergy for something in that [snack]. I don't know what it is but I'd rather not experience an allergy right now."

"I just ate a snack already."