#i'd probably also be coping with all of this *a little bit better* if i hadn't been oFF MY hORMONES FOR THE LAST TWO MONTHS 🙃🙃🙃
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kryptidkhaos · 11 months ago
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Keep the lights on or put food in the fridge? Help us not have to decide.
Our last two paychecks lined up real bad with the holidays and got massively delayed in depositing. You know what didn't get delayed at all? Any of our bills drafting out of the bank! 🙃
So thanks to "fuck you for being poor" overdraft fees for bills that should have been covered, we lost nearly $500 to overdraft fees.
That's our grocery budget for the entire month, much less just this two week pay period, and it's left us short on utilities. 3 out of 4 of us have doctor appointments this month and prescriptions that need refilled.
We're kinda screwed. It's especially upsetting on top of everything else because I'd done a lot of very careful and tight budgeting before the New Year, and I had a sliver of hope in me that we might be able to at least get through a few months of 2024 without having to beg for help. All that's being helping me cope with this situation is the reminder that I've done my best and capitalism actively wants to punish me for existing.
If you'd like to help four disabled trans people stay warm and fed, it would means the world to me. If you have nothing to give, please reblog this post to give us a wider net.
v3nmo: @chaosqueer
c@shapp: @chaosqueer
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dracimexidae · 18 days ago
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So yeah since Jasmine and Sara are out of the Finals 😢, I'm left with the BJK Cup and then i'm basically on vacation myself from tennis (as for the more engaged and "stressful" part of watching matches😝- honestly it's "exhausting" being a fan a pause is definitely needed phew 😮‍💨🤣)
#tennis#jasmine paolini#sara errani#i wonder#got the chance to see a bit of jasmine's match against qinwen and as i feared she was torn apart once again#kudos to zheng how well did she serve! and in general she performed a lot better than i even expected#i thought the tension was going to play in a bit for her but she apparently is getting used to it and more comfortable in important stages#while jasmine probably got overwhelmed by the same tension and tiredness 😟 it was hard to see her so discouraged at some point 😔#did not see jas and sara's match - my father told me it was disappointing#but my father's opinion doesn't count lol because he tends to downplay everyone's performance in sports all the time#and focuses on the bad more than the good - plus he doesn't have a high opinion of sara as a player#(from his high experience as a player or a coach which is uhm zero? 🤣#so i'm not relying on his review lmao - he'd be a terrible coach anyway#because he wouldn't know how to motivate positively a player for sure he'd be so depressing if not irritating)#anyway at this point if i want i can watch matches with a more relaxed attitude now#in all truth at this point i'm rooting for barbora for singles even if i don't know how many chances she has#against the zheng i've seen in the match with jasmine - crossing fingers she will cope better 🤞#as for the doubles i didn't have a real favourite aside jas and sara#maybe one among siniakova/townsend and dabrowski/routliffe? idk but i'm chill at this point#for the rest i care very little about the atp finals or davis cup#since grigor didn't get a spot in the finals (i know he's an alternate but yeah unlikely that he'll play at least from the beginning)#i'm lowkey hoping for casper alex and carlos to find and play some GOOD game (once again especially for casper and a bit also carlos#alex seems more on his way already judging on what i've seen since he's been back)#and high-key hoping that zverev doesn't win 😤#i'm probably a wretched italian for not rooting particularly about our male players 😅#bolelli even comes from my city but i just... don't care about them idk what can i say?! 🤷‍♀️#it's probably the atp in general that hasn't inflamed me much anymore lately#i'd rather spare my energies for the ladies - and for our team in the bjk cup
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laroserie · 5 months ago
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— Various x-men characters, with a queer ! reader
— characters ; Scott Summers. Jean Grey. Logan Howlett. Rogue.
— warning ; Reader is implied to be at the very least multisexual in general BUT it's very vague - reader is just not straight. Can be platonic or romantic depend. Include a 'when you come out to them section' but it's also just general headcanons. I included my personal hc about their sexuality. No one is homophobic or anything !
— note ; i said i'd something for pride and poof, there ( yes ... it's the 29th but better late than never! ), yes i do headcanons most xmen characters as multisexual, i wrote this at 3am so if some part doesn't make sense and all sorry
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– Scott Summers.
Now, Scott is bisexual himself (with a little bit of self internalised homophobia) so he'd be very, chill, of course with you being queer. But he sometimes do say stuff that make your eyebrow raise, he isn't exactly the most informed, but he is still very respectful, just a bit clumsy. If you try to correct him on something he said and - or - 'correct' him, he will listen and keep that in mind.
Scott could be the type to start being more inclusive in his language once he knows, like he will say 'partner' or 'spouse' when asking you about your relationship. Or not ask about them at all ( if you aromantic for example ).
He probably accidentally out-ed you at some point, he doesn't think twice and just say what's he thought. He will very much apologize for that, and after the first time it never happens again.
When you come out to him, he gives you a simple 'okay, that neat' and a thumb-up. If you use a label/term he doesn't know, he may ask you about it but probably later, like a day or two, he'll come up to you and ask you 'hey, by the way, what does [label] means ?'.
– Jean Grey
Jean Grey, like Scott, is very chill about it. Sure, she doesn't know much about the community and she only knows the 'basic' terminology, but she still very much support you.
If you need to vent about issues related to your sexuality, she will be there, her arms are wild open for you and she has always a box of tissues on hand. She may not get everything, but she'll try to help you as much as she can, by simply comforting you or by trying to give you advice ( not necessary about the problem in itself, but about how to cope around it ).
Jean is absolutely the type to accompany you to pride, if you want her to of course, she is kinda like those straight mothers that accompany their kid to pride !
When you come out to her, she is the sweetest, she'll listen to you and assure you that it change's nothing to her.
– Logan Howlett
He doesn't gives a fuck, the man has seen all type of people thru the years, it's normal and he obviously accept anyone no matter their sexuality or genders but he just doesn't care that much ( my personal headcanon is that Logan is pan but let's be honest, he himself doesn't give a fuck about his sexuality ).
Logan probably goes to the pride parade once in while, depending on the city he in currently, and he'll probably accept to go with you to them - if it's your first, he'll try to keep you in sigh but if not and that you can be left alone and be okay, he will 'abandon' you and you'll only see him when it's time to leave.
When you come out to him, he looks at you and just drop a 'ok', he may add a 'thanks for telling me ?' if you are visibly confused by his answer.
– Rogue
She'd be very happy knowing you are queer too ! ( again personal headcanon that she is bisexual ) She thinks it's nice to have a friend whose also part of the community and if you are newer to it and the terminology, she'll try to teach you about them as best as she can.
If anyone is a bigot to you about your sexuality, Rogue will be there to comfort you about it and, maybe, perhaps, try to fight the person.
When you come out to you, she will be very happy that you have enough trust in her to tell her, she'll probably give you a big hug before asking you question about it ( like 'when did you know ??' but not in the intrusive weird way )
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casualaruanienjoyer · 2 months ago
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Ok this is a bit crazy BUT I was listening to "Before Lights out" which is one of my favorite AOT tracks. I really like this part:
All of my kingdom
For your return
I'd let it all burn!
I'd let it all burn!
Dear departed
I'll cry for you in a dream
Now I must rise to be queen
Be worthy!
Be worthy!
And I asume it's refering to Historia addressing Ymir (Correct me if I'm wrong).
But as I was packing orders tonight and I listened to it, I imagined a scenario in which Annie and Historia's characters are swapped, in which Historia is Marleyan and Annie is Paradisian.
This kinda also ties in with this headcanon where Annie is part of EMA with Eren and Mikasa since they were kids! And Annie befriended them when the two stopped Mr Leonhart from abusing Annie on the street one day.
Annie, just like in canon, is adopted by Mr Leonhart and trained up to become part of the military and basically enhance their family's status within the walls. She's also the main source of income in the house, which means she misses out on a lot of childhood activies until Eren and Mikasa start helping her escape the house from time to time and hang out!
Annie is an orphan, however later on we find out that she was actually the heir to the throne and she had been abandoned because she (let's say?) was kidnapped as a baby. The kidnapper would have used her for ransom, but for whatever reason (maybe remorse?) lost confidence and just abandoned the baby somewhere at the outskirts of the city. (Imagine if this would have been Kenny trying to get some sort of negotiation with the royal family).
In this universe Annie does not have the female titan, and instead maybe it would be Historia who has it. I mentioned Armin having it before, but it would also be interesting if there were 3 warriors+ Armin coming to Paradis, with Armin not having a titan, but being the brain of the operation. Expert in cartography, tactics, strategy etc. Coordinating everyone akin to a musical conductor. I know it would mess with the trio balance, but.... I like the Marleyan Armin + Paradisian Annie dynamic 🙏 so bare with me.
It would be so cool if Historia, the moment she arrived with Berthold, Armin and Reiner to Paradis, would have changed her name and personality to Krista Lenz. Maybe it's a coping mechanism due to trauma, kind of like Reiner's, but I like to think that she may have wanted to escape the life of Liberio and just start a new life somewhere else, no matter how short it would be.
Maybe her dad is just as much of an asshole/important person in Liberio. Maybe he's got lots of money for an Eldian, which gives their family a better standing. But Historia hates the way he looks down on other, less fortunate Eldians. He'd probably be friends with the Tybur family even?
Maybe there was no need for Historia to join the warrior program, other than to prove to herself that she can do things independently from her dad and her priviledged life.
Why not leave Liberio altogether instead? She probably has a fantasy of Paradis having no Eldian prosecution, the same way that Armin and Eren had a dream of peace outside the walls in canon. Maybe she thought that it was indeed, a paradise.
Also Historia, Armin, Reiner and Bertholdt could make a cool team, especially maybe with Reiner always trying to look very strong in front of her and Historia being able to hold on her own, without his help. Bertholdt would pat Reiner on the back whenever he'd fail to impress her. Historia and Armin would be very close and chatty, since she feels comfortable around Armin, which makes Reiner very jealous.
As a side note, Yumihisu still happens, but the story could be that Ymir knows that Historia is hiding her real identity. Maybe Ymir actually remembers seeing the warriors as a titan outside the walls? Or maybe it was getting close to Historia that made her realize that she is also Marleyan. (Little slip ups in their conversations)
Ahh sorry I'm not coherent, not the best at pulling multiple strings together buuuut...
Where I want to go with this is, Aruani slowly happens over time, from Cadet to even later than canon, since when the female titan was captured, it was actually Historia, not Armin. At this point, Armin, Reiner and Bertholdt have to continue even after losing Historia to the crystal.
It becomes harder and harder for Armin to hide the secret they have as he opens up to Annie about more of his life. He almost tells her, until the night he finds out that Annie is the heir to the throne. What can Armin even do in this scenario? Tell her what?
And then to return to the lyrics from "Before Lights out", they could be Annie singing about Armin, who, after being caught together with Bertholdt and Reiner, runs away, leaving Annie's feelings behind, uncertain.
I imagine Annie, if she accepts her new role as a monarch, would be a lot more of an iron fist leader, absolutely no bullshit. She holds a bit of a grudge against Armin for leaving her behind, after opening up to him about her childhood. After being closer to him than anyone else before.
She WOULD literally burn down the whole kingdom to find him, haha.
But yeah, please tell me if this is super stupid, I wanted to get this out of my head since I've been daydreaming about it for a week now. Thanks for reading and I'd love to see what you guys think too! If you have ideas, drop them below!
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backtothefanfiction · 7 months ago
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All The Good Girls Go To Hell | TF!Boys Mafia AU~ Part ONE
Summary: When Phoenix comes home to find her fiancé banging some other girl, her whole life changes seemingly overnight. Forced to go back and live with her Dad, she's about to be dragged into a life with the men her Dad is indebted to.
Warnings: 18+ ONLY (Mature Content), Dark Mafia Romance Au, setting things on fire, swearing, dead parent, debt, mental health issues, brain tumour, broken family, anger issues (female rage), AFAB OFC, objectification of the female body, pyromania, little bit of theft (smut to come)
Word Count: 3.8K
A/N: I didn't need to have yet another idea for a story. I also didn't need to write it straight away, but I recently read Den of Vipers and figured I could do something better featuring the Triple Frontier boys. I don't know how many parts of this there will be, or how regularly this will ultimately be updated, but I thought I'd share anyway. Smut will come, featuring all four guys this time. This will use an ofc but apart from the hair, there aren't too many descriptors. This will also be written from multiple characters points of view throughout to keep things interesting. Enjoy!
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ONE
PHEONIX
My fingers itch as I grip the steering wheel tighter. I should have worn gloves, I say to myself as I drop one hand from the wheel and rub it vigorously against my torn jeans, hoping the friction from the denim will- at the very least- satiate the itch left behind from the lighter fluid long enough for me to get to the next gas station, so I can stop in and wash my hands properly.
It was reckless of me really- the whole damn thing. My brothers taught me better than this, but then again, everyone said I had a temper that was only second to Archie’s in my family- so I’m really not that surprised. People say my Dad used to be equally hot headed before he got remarried to Marina and took over the club, but I’ve still yet to see it- even after all the shit me and my brothers have pulled over the years. It’s like after our Mother died he just gave up. But I don’t blame him. I would too if I lost the love of my life to a fucking disease like that. I had barely known her anyway, so I didn’t really notice all that much when the brain tumor turned her into a “literal monster”, as my older brothers used to so fondly call her when she was on one of her rampages.
I’d always said that my only real memory of her was when she tried to burn down the house by settling alight to the curtains in their bedroom. I remember we all stood out on the front grass as the smoke billowed out of the windows and mixed with the night air. Archie stood on my right holding one of my hands, E.Z stood on my left holding the other. Maybe that’s why I’ve always had a thing for fire myself. Messing about with lighters, setting things on fire- all so I can try and understand that night… At least, that’s what a therapist would probably say.
My Dad tried to make me go to one once, after I ended up burning down the whole science block at my school at 16, but alas, that never happened. Which is why I’m probably still using fire as a coping method after all these years.
My phone is blowing up by the time I reach the nearest gas station. I scan the messages from my brothers over quickly as I pull into the lot.
Deano: Heard what you did, I’d say he fucking deserved it.
Archie: Dad is pissed. Gonna try to calm him down before he does something stupid.
E.Z: Seriously, Phe, again! Dad is gonna be so pissed.
Leo: Just heard about your latest work, props little sis, I think your balls might be even bigger than Dean’s.
Rolling my eyes, I shove my phone in the glove box as it begins to buzz again. Uhh, I really don’t want or need a lecture right now about how I should or should not have acted upon finding my fiance in bed with another woman. Did I over react… by some people’s standards- maybe. But did I also live out every woman’s fantasy of dousing the bed in lighter fluid and striking a match whilst they were still in the bed… yes- yes I did- and do I give two fucks about any repercussions? Absolutely- fucking- not. Because there won’t be. Never have been. My Dad works for some of the most powerful men in the city- and I’m not talking about the Governor or the Mayor. No- someone will send some money over to keep them sweet and in a couple days time, everything will go back to normal.
I scrub at my hands with the shitty cheap soap in the tiny cubicle inside the gas station to the point the giant rock, still on my finger, almost slips off and down the drain. It’s the first time I’ve thought about it. I’ve been wearing it so long, it’s just an extension of my hand at this point. What am I gonna do with it? I mean- it’s worth a fucking fortune. Freddie was fucking loaded after all. None of it fucking his mind you. His Dad was a close business partner for the same guys my Dad worked for. Let’s just say, crime pays and his Dad has made so much money over the years working for Santiago Garcia and his crew, Freddie has never had to lift a single finger, let alone do a days work, to get what he wants.
I grab a handful of shitty paper towels, drying off my hands and the ring, holding it up to the fluorescent bathroom light. Uhhh it wasn’t even my style. I hate diamonds, they’re so basic and boring. Give me a massive fuck off ruby or saphire anyday. 
Still unsure what to do with it, I tuck it into the back pocket of my jeans before assessing how I look in the mirror. It’s like waking up from the weirdest dream and not recognising yourself. I look at my blonde hair in the mirror, the plain white t-shirt covering my breasts. I look like one of those young Barbie, trophy wife wannabe types. Where did the color and fun go? He drained it all out of me.
In college, when I met Freddie, I had pink in my hair and always had on something bright. At least my ripped jeans still have some character. 
Exiting out back onto the shop floor, I grab myself a large bag of cheetos and a cherry icee- that's as big as my head- from the machine in the back. As I place the large bag of cheesy puffs on the counter, I take a large sip of my drink, before placing that too on the counter, reaching for a pair of bright yellow heart sunglasses on a display next to the cashier.
“What d’ya think?” I ask the portly man behind the counter, who’s polo shirt doesn’t look or smell like it’s been washed for at least two weeks with its armpit stains and ranch dressing smear on the front.
It’s obvious he’s trying to come across as if he’s not checking out my whole body as he looks at me, but his eyes scan lower than my face, falling on the V neck of my t-shirt and my breasts for a hint too long. I flash him a sickly sweet smile as I take the sunglasses off my face and hook them into my shirt where his eyes seem to linger instead. “How about now?” I ask.
He quickly clears his throat as he looks back to the register. “Uhhh, yes- Yes- I think they suit you, yes.” he rambles and I can’t help but laugh. Men like that were always so predictable.
I reach for the icee taking another sip and try to school my features when I get brain freeze. “With the sunglasses,” he says, “16 bucks.” I sigh, but fish a couple notes out my back pocket and hand them over, just as my eyes land on a lighter covered in black and white harlequin print. My fingers instantly reach for it.
I turn the lighter over and over again in my fingers before flipping the top of it open and striking up a flame, my eyes getting lost in its amber glow as it sways hypnotically back and forth. It instantly takes me back to not 20 minutes ago and Fred and the girl’s screams, as the bed covers went up in flames and they both shot out from underneath them as he screamed about how much of a psycho I was. 
The ding of the till draw brings me back to the present and I flick the lighter closed. “Oh, and I’m taking this as payment for you oggling me.” I smile at the balding cashier, as I pocket the lighter and grab my bits off the counter.
I can hear him calling after me, “HEY, COME BACK HERE! YOU NEED TO PAY FOR THAT!” but I just laugh and take another sip of the slush and place the sunglasses back on my head.
As I walk back to my car, I notice a bum, sitting in the shade of the wall at the back corner of the station. As I look at him, I can feel the weight of the ring in my back pocket, dragging me towards him. Hey, the ring might not have changed my life, but it doesn’t mean it can’t change someone else’s life.
“Hey.” I say, lifting the yellow sunglasses on top of my head so I can meet his eyes. “Catch.” I toss him the ring. It sparkles as it hits the afternoon sun and I know from the look on his eyes as it makes contact with his fingers, he feels like he just won the lottery. “Pawn it. Get whatever you want with it, I don’t care.” I say as I begin to turn away from him and back to my car.
“Uh-thank you.” he says at first in shock, “Thank you.” he says again, a little more confidently now.
“Don’t mention it.” I shout back to him as I unlock my car with a chirp and climb back inside. 
I open the bag of cheetos, taking one and popping it in my mouth, before dumping them on the passenger seat and reaching to open the glove box, taking my phone back out.
7 more texts from my brothers and 5 missed calls from my Dad; with a final text saying:
DAD: Get your ass home. NOW!
Well, that does it then. I guess I’m going back to the old family home.
I start the engine, shuffling through the radio stations until I find something I like. When I hear the opening riff for Britney Spears’ Toxic, I stop and whack the volume all the way up. My tires screech as I speed out of the forecourt. I sing at the top of my lungs all the way home.
I’m not through the door five seconds when E.Z is trying to usher me back out again. He’s always been the softer one. Third born. The middle child. Always overlooked, but still always trying to appease everyone.
“Dad is pissed.” He says, when he meets me in the foyer. After Mom tried to burn the house down, the place got remodeled. My Dad had to sell his soul to the devil to do it, but it meant we got to stay in our family home. Well, sort of. 
The whole left side of the house needed rebuilding, which meant they got to extend it out a bit more. We lost the basketball court the boys liked to play on, but it meant they finally got their own rooms so they didn’t mind. 
“I know.” I say to E.Z, waving my phone in his face with one hand, while I take a sip of my icee with the other. 
“Give me that.” He says, snatching the drink from my hand, the contents within the straw almost going everywhere as he rips it straight from my mouth. “This is serious Phe, Andy,” Freddie’s dad, “has already been on the phone making threats. You know how important he is for the business. He’s threatening to cut off the club’s supplies.”
“And….” I shrug, before reaching to take back the large cup in his hands. He merely moves it further out of my reach. “Look, I’m sure the guys who own the place have other connections he can use.”
“You sure about that?” My brother presses, raising his eyebrows and looming over me.
“Oh come on, you telling me those four wannabe goodfellas bozos, haven’t got some other dipshit on their payroll to import and export shit for them off record to help keep club costs down.” 
E.Z’s face is a picture. Eyes wide, face serious. It’s clear from his expression and his mouth that keeps gaping like a fish as he tries to get a word in, that he thinks I should shut up. “What!?” I hiss at him, but as I’ve been ranting and raving, I haven’t heard the second set of feet that have made their way through the front door into the foyer. E.Z’s face turns pale as he looks behind me to the figure and back.
“Oh no, don’t stop on my account.” A forced casual voice comes from behind me.
I turn my head and follow the voice to one of the most gorgeous men I have ever laid eyes on. All tanned skin and dark curly hair, a smattering of grays mixed in- the only hint to his age. I frown as a familiarity falls over me, but I can’t quite place from where. “I’m sorry- do I know you?”
He slides his fingers into his trouser pockets, his foot tapping slightly as he looks me up and down. “Oh you know, I’m just one of those bozos who’s now having to help clear up your mess.”
Before I have a chance to respond, my Dad and Archie step out of his office at the end of the hall. “PHEONIX!” My Dad’s voice bellows and I blanche, maybe that anger isn’t as far away as I thought. 
I turn away from the stranger in his Armani suit by the front door, to my Dad, flashing him my sweetest smile. “Hi, Dadd-”
“Uh- No!” He says, holding up a hand to stop me, “Don’t you dare-” He stops as he spots the other gentleman in the foyer. “Pope.” He says, his demeanor growing lighter as he greets the man who actually owns his ass.
“What kind of name is Pope?” I hiss to E.Z under my breathe, but he just nudges me to shut up.
“David… Archie…” Pope nods his head to the two men. “Shall we talk in your office.” He says, nodding back down the hall behind him.
“Uh- yes. Yes.” My Dad says nervously, turning his body to indicate for him to follow him back, before shooting me a stern look, telling me to behave and that this was far from over.
“Pheonix.” Pope nods to me as he passes, a faint smirk in the corner of his mouth and a look in his eye that I could only describe as fascination. But it quickly disappears again as he turns back to my Dad.
As the door to my Father’s office closes, my brother begins to ferry me towards the stairs. “I’d get up there and stay out of trouble if I were you.” He warns. 
I roll my eyes at him before I slip the yellow, heart shaped sunglasses, down over them with annoyance, snatching back my icee, before I stomp upstairs- as usual, out of sight, out of mind.
~
POPE
“Mr Garcia, I am so sorry for my daughters behavior. I really had thought she’d grown out of this,” David Leacher says, as I sit myself down in one of the leather armchairs in his office. “And I never thought she would do something like this that would put your well balanced business in jeopardy.”
I fain disinterest about the subject, because really, it doesn’t actually bother me all that much at all. Sure Andy is a bit pissed now on behalf of his son, but from what I hear, if you’re gonna go sneaking around behind your soon to be Mrs' back and she finds out, you kinda get what your asking for. To be fair, I gotta give the little lady props; it takes real guts to dump lighter fluid on a guy and strike the match, regardless of the consequences. 
“… I just don’t know what to do with her.” David says, slumping back in his chair behind his desk with a large glass of bourbon in his hand. 
“And this is why I never got married and had kids.” I say, giving him a tight lipped smirk. There’s an awkward pause between us, the only sound in the room, the ice clinking in David’s glass as he takes another nervous sip, his hand shaking slightly in anticipation, waiting for the slap on the wrist he thinks is about to come. “Look David, I’ll get to the point, Andy wants compensation for the money he’s already forked out for the wedding.” David puts his drink down and begins rubbing his temples as if this whole ordeal is giving him a headache. 
He sighs, turning to me, an earnest look in his eye, “Pope,” he says softly- imploringly- “you know I don’t have the money for that-“
“I know.” I say, cutting him off. “That’s why, we’ve decided to franchise Medusa’s. We are going to acquire two more clubs, you’ll get a pay rise and oversee all three venues, to help cover the costs. We get more money coming in through the clubs, you get more money to pay off Andy- everyone’s a winner.” 
The look of relief on David’s face is a picture. “Oh thank you, Pope- uh Mr Garcia.” He says, as his whole body seems to let out a very long breath that he had been keeping tight in his body, probably since the first call he got this afternoon about his daughter’s antics. “Thank you, thank you.” He seemingly pants.
“Look Dave, you’re a good guy- a loyal guy-“ I say honestly, “you work hard, you run Medusa’s well. Profits have been up 30% since you took over. I’m not gonna jeopardize that over some silly tiff between a couple kids.”
“No, no… thank you.” He says quietly, acknowledging my words as I continue to speak.
“Whether this had happened or not, we were going to come to you with this proposal this week anyway. Help you pay off your debt to us quicker too- you know.”
“Yes… thank you, Pope. Thank you.”
“Very well then.” I nod to him. “I’ll call Andy, let him know everything is settled.”
“Thank you, Pope, thank you.” He says again. 
David is a good man- a loyal man. He runs our most popular club well, but it was a real shame how soft he had gone in his old age. Ever since he lost his wife, he’s never been the same. Then he married that wannabe wag Marina- who does nothing but spend the rest of what little money he has coming in after he repays some of his debt to us- and walks all over him. Back in the day he had really made a name for himself bare knuckle boxing. They used to call him The Reaper because he could knock a man out with a single blow that brought a man close to death; but nowadays he’d barely hit a fly. This was yet another reason I never settled down and did the whole wife and kids thing- it made you soft.
Still didn’t stop his little girl from being as tough as nails and crazy to boot- but when the only female role models you had growing up were a Mother with a brain tumor that made her- to be polite- unhinged; and then Marina, it's no wonder she’s ended up as she has. She bounced around three different boarding schools in her teens. By the third school- after she had burnt down the science block at the second school- we had to write a fairly hefty donation cheque, in order to get her in. Just another number added to David’s bill to be repaid.
Although he had initially approached us looking for work in order to pay off his wife’s medical bills and then to redo the house after she had burnt half of it down, most of the money he’s borrowed from us over the years has been for Phoenix. Frankie, Will and myself have spent many a night around the table with a drink in our hands speculating on why he continues to bail her out and put himself in more debt to protect her. We’ve long come to assume it’s probably because of guilt. That she was robbed of a proper Mother. Cursed to have a weak Father. If she had been my kid, I would have tossed her ass out on the curb a long time ago and told her to deal with her own shit if she wanted to keep behaving the way she has over the years.
To be fair though, after she met Freddie, we thought she’d finally straightened out- or at least she had become Fred’s problem and he was dealing with it. She stopped going to the clubs. Started wearing more grown up clothing that matched her age. Began running with Freddie and his older friends. But I guess it was only a matter of time and you know what they say- a leopard never changes their spots.
I’m halfway to the door, ready to leave, when David stops me. “Umm, Pope.” He says tentatively. I slowly turn myself back to him, ready to hear his request, even though he’s in no place to be making requests right now after I’ve just bailed his ass out for the fifteenth time. “I was just wondering…” he continues hesitantly, “seeing as Phoenix and Freddie are no longer together, she’ll probably need an actual job of her own now…” I can almost feel myself rubbing at my temples, knowing the question that was about to come out of his mouth. It’s the same question that had come when all of his son’s came of age and needed a job… but this time is different- and we both know it.
Phoenix isn’t like her brothers. Where they are able to be mature and step up and follow orders, she most definitely can not. I’ve seen enough of her school reports over the years to know what kind of employee she’d be. When David had asked about getting the boys jobs, it had been a no brainer. Each one of them had a build similar to their father in his hay day, perfect for a bit of muscle and extra protection in the club. But a job in Medusa’s for Phoenix would be behind the bar- and I know for a fact she’d sooner pour herself shots of liquor and dance on that bar than stand back and serve everyone else whilst they had a good time.
I already know I’m going to regret this when I finally climb into my bed at the end of the night, “She gets one chance.” I say. “One chance.” I hold up my index finger to him for emphasis.
“Thank you, Pope. I promise she won’t let you down.”
“Yeah, yeah.” I mutter to myself, my thumb and forefinger rubbing at my eyes in both irritation and exhaustion, as I finally leave the room. I give Archie a brief nod of acknowledgement as he sees me back out to my car.
I'm about to climb back in when he says, "I know you didn't have to do that, but he needed that, you know. He needs that hope that she'll be okay."
I only give him a nod as I look up to the row of upstairs windows and back to him, "We'll see." I say. "We'll see."
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tia-amorosa · 2 months ago
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Sunset Died - Alto/Wolff
The Others... and a secret
Note in advance: this episode contains a bit more text than in the previous parts. But it was important because it answers a few questions that some of you may have already asked yourself.
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Nick went outside with Morgana and closed the bedroom door behind him. Then he took a few steps and leaned against the wall. “Thanks, I probably couldn't have done it on my own"/ ”like I said, it would have been better if I'd been informed earlier that she was expecting a child. Worse things could have happened”.
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Nick paused for a moment before continuing. “You lack the means to properly examine the pregnant ladies in the city…"/ ”Mh, that's correct, yes. Above all, I don't have an ultrasound machine, there are so many things that could be detected and ruled out with it…"/ ‘It won't be long before… you'll have one of those machines at your disposal’ / ‘What do you mean?’/ ‘I've requested one’. Morgana was shocked and curious. “But where, by whom?"/…
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“From people out there somewhere. I asked them for it. “/ “What… What kind of people are they?”/ “Hh… Some who have had me firmly in their grip for months. And it's up to me that… That nothing has happened here so far"/ ‘Mr. Alto…’/ ‘I value you as a very loyal person, Dr. Wolff, not just as a doctor’.
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Morgana looked at him skeptically “You want to confide something in me and I'm not allowed to tell anyone, am I right?”/ “Yes, not yet. I'll talk to the people here soon, when I've got the hardest part over with"/ ‘and that would be?’. He looked at her seriously with tired eyes “Is there something you're particularly attached to, Dr.? What's the most important thing in your life?”/ “A few things. My own life, my husband, my child… My friends”.
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“That's quite a lot. For me, it's been money for as long as I can remember. I learned early on how to get it, how to invest it wisely and how to spend it wisely. But money… It's also a tool you can use to manipulate people. Now I'm the one being manipulated. I have a lot of assets, it's not small. And that has gotten through to these people”
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Morgana tried to follow and understand what Nick was telling her. “So… they want your money?"/ ‘All the valuables I own…’/ ‘And why don't you give them what they want?’. He took a deep breath. “Would you just give away something you've worked so hard for all your life?”. Morgana's voice became a little louder, as she seemed to understand what this was all about. “honestly, what do you have to lose except your money?"/ ‘hh… I know what you're getting at, Dr. Wolff’.
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“You probably think now, just like my wife, that I'm stubborn. Yes, I am. But they also said that if I've given them everything, we won't get any more help from them…"/ ”What help have we had so far? We haven't seen any of it…”. Nick found it increasingly difficult to speak as his conscience began to torment him, “We were selfish, I…”. Her voice became more insistent. “Now tell me!"/ ‘They provided us with food and we weren't supposed to give any of it away’/ ”What…why?”
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“Because there are other sick minds sitting there who want to know… how long the people here can get by without help and food now. So… Not only do they want all my assets, they also treat the people here like guinea pigs. When that meteor storm came and destroyed everything. That was just the right opportunity for them to test how humans cope in extreme situations…"/ ”Please what? I'm… Completely confused, excuse me”. Morgana had to sit down.
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“They just wanted to leave us here to our fate? And you're going along with it, Mr.Alto?”. Nick couldn't look her in the eye. “They said if I lifted a finger, they'd stop supplying us"/ ”What supply? We…"/ ”For me, my family. As I said, the whole thing was an experiment”. Morgana was stunned. „And , how do they know what's going on here? Are there cameras here?”. He shook his head. “No, we should only ever observe and report. Gerhard and Nancy…"/ ”They should be spying on us, am I right? My God, that's really sick!”.
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Morgana had to process the whole thing first. She was angry, surprised, many feelings overwhelmed her . “How… How did this contact even come about, Mr. Alto? How…”. Morgana hadn't really paid attention to it at first, because she had been looking after Vita the whole time. But she remembered this device in the bedroom. “Is that a Transmitter? Where did…”. Nick collected his thoughts again and tried to explain everything to her in detail. “The day before it all happened… I took it from the town hall because I wanted to do some restoration work on it. Actually, it was just an exhibit.”
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“Now I remember, it was there in a bigger glass case in the foyer". He nodded. ”actually, it belonged in a museum long ago. Be that as it may. After the initial shock of the impacts was somewhat digested and we realized that the internet was down, I came up with the idea of getting the thing operational. Unfortunately, I just didn't know how to find a frequency. And then… they found me”.
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Morgana had many questions running through her mind. “How did they contact you through this device? How did they know which frequency to select? How…"/ ”Believe me, I've often asked myself these questions too. Someone seems to have known that I have one of these devices. I just wonder who the hell it is. Maybe someone from here?"/ ‘That's nonsense!’.
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Nick stood up and took a few steps across the room. “Why nonsense, Dr.?"/ ”Well, first of all, I don't think anyone else here has such a device except you. And I'd put my hand in the fire for every single person here. Who would come up with something like that? I would never voluntarily put my friends, my family or anyone else in the city I live in at risk. Do you understand?”.
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Nick took a deep breath and exhaled. “I'm sure you're right, who would put up with such macabre nonsense here?"/ ‘You said… you get deliveries, right?’/ ‘Yes, food and other things for everyday use.’/ ‘Where do these deliveries come from?’/ „Where? I don't know, but definitely across the sea. There's a landing stage somewhere far away. The things were unloaded there and we pick them up by arrangement.”
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“By arrangement… Does that mean they were never there when a delivery came?"/ ”No. We never knew when they were going to deliver to us. We were only informed by radio when the delivery arrived and we could pick it up. But apart from the goods, there was no one to be seen there, the ship was usually gone by then”. Morgana put her hands to her head. There was just so much information she had to deal with. “hh, my goodness… My head is spinning and I… I have to get back to my child”.
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“Dr. Wolff…"/ ”If I've understood all this correctly, it's up to you whether we survive or perish here. I don't know how long I can carry this secret around with me now. You should talk to the people here urgently. Otherwise… I will do it” / ‘I'll do it, I promise you, as soon as…’ / ”You'd better not promise anything. Good night, Mr. Alto!”. Morgana picked up her things and made her way home.
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After Morgana had left the house, Nick stood in front of the closed front door for a moment. And as he said, he had already made his decision. But he still didn't know how to deal with the consequences. He shook off his thoughts for the rest of the evening and went into the bedroom. “ssh, don't cry, o.k., I just wanted to take a closer look at you. Come here… My son”..
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Nick could hear his wife snoring softly. She was still very exhausted from the birth, which had dragged on for almost a whole day. “So we haven't thought of a name yet, have we? I have a cousin, Alfonso, but we're no longer in contact. I would like that, Alfonso…Alfi, hnhn”. As he looked at his son, a few tears welled up in his eyes. Yes, as Cy once said, a little one like that changes something in you. “We'll find a solution, Alfi… Somehow”.
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End of this part
@greenplumbboblover😊
poses by @poses-by-bee & @inkwisteria
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devastatinglygreen · 5 months ago
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Do you like the way they did the Lady Whistledown reveal and fight?
hmm.
i didn't have a particular problem with it? i think the after effects were a little heavy for the previous episodes but i understand that it's a tv show and they're going to be dramatic. i think if they wanted that much room for it, it should have probably happened earlier, maybe mid ep 6 because i think some things got lost in translation after that.
the back and forth felt slightly overdone to me to keep it going and giving them space at the end would have probably benefited the story arc as a whole.
i don't have an issue with the fight itself, i think colin had every right to be pissed and i think penelope had the right to fight back on her choices. i like that they brought his ego into a bit like they do in the book, if LW had written something about me the way she did colin in the beginning of s3 i would be humiliated too i think. also horrified that that's what they thought of me? i would rethink everything i ever knew about that person and how they perceived me. it would probably make me feel like puking tbh. and i'm dramatic too, i would make it everyone's problem while i'm pretending to be fine, ha.
and i get pen's side too. she knew he was being fake af and she's like this ain't you. but i think sometimes she forgets how the truth hurts most of all and she was being impulsive with her writing at times. she's written some terrible things in the name of love and protection and being forced to face that is probably humbling and guilt ridden. knowing you hurt the person you love most in a way that made them question themselves as a person? i'd simply lay on the floor and stay there.
i need to rewatch tho, i think the anticipation of the LW confrontation had me distracted during other episodes and i need to see how all the tension builds up to it. like he knows something is wrong but to go from thinking maybe thinking someone doesn't love you the way you love them and struggling to cope with that while deciding that you need to be a better person to earn that love to discovering that the person you love is the person who not only hurt you but cut you down in the first place?
nah, colin loves penelope unconditionally fr because i would have floated up out of my body and into space after that.
for all of his defensiveness about the situation i never thought he didn't love her and i know penelope took all the punches that was thrown at her because of her guilt but i do like that she immediately became transparent with honesty in regards to him, like i think sometimes as an audience that we trust penelope because she's doing what she does for 90% the right reasons in LW but the characters don't know that. she's willing to earn that trust back and i appreciated that.
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relatableblorbopoll · 1 year ago
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Round 1 of preliminaries, group 6
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The first two places get a place on the bracket
Little reminder: there will be 2 more rounds of preliminaries, the losing blorbos of this poll still have 2 chances of getting in the official bracket
propaganda under the cut
Jesper Fahey (Six of Crows)
No Propaganda
Crowley (Good Omens)
"He's gender. He's been in love with one guy for literally 6000 years and then royally fucks up his entire confession. He yells at his plants. He drapes himself over every fucking surface he sits on. He walks like *that*. He just fuckin makes sounds sometimes. He's me fr."
Dave Strider (Homestuck)
"everything that can be said about Dave's relatability will probably sound redundant, clichéd, or overdone if you are at all familiar with tumblrs sort of blorbo culture. this is exactly why he should be in this tournament.
stop me if you think that you've heard this one before: he hides his genuine emotions behind a persona, deflects sincerity with jokes, but also has a deep desire for validation and connection, so that his persona has many cracks where little bits of his true self slip through. deeply insecure, compares himself to others. a defeatist streak, avoids responsibility. does not wish to be troubled by The Horrors. he just wants to hang out and do his lil creative hobbies (making music and drawing comics). talks a lot to the point of being pretty awkward, rambling, and accidentally saying stuff he shouldnt.
all these things I think tend to resonate deeply with a lot of people, especially on Tumblr - that "person who is insecure and struggles with emotional openness so copes by making jokes" sort of trope, it's just like kin bait (affectionate). he also has a complicated relationship with gender which I know many find relatable (shout out to the "Dave homestuck was my trans awakening" homies) but whether it's about figuring out gender or sexuality or trauma or the apocalypse or anything else, Dave comes at it with an initial, learned, fear and reluctance that I think a lot of people have experienced, because it's very human and very much a part of many readers experiences (we live in a society). but he's always good, and likeable and that makes for a very important sort of relatable character. very comforting. even if he's a mess and he's an idiot you can believe he can get to something better, and you can watch him develop and grow.
also, I think he's extremely relatable because he never really knows what's going on in the comic either. I mean, that's gonna be relatable to most people Vis a vis homestuck. he's confused and he just wants to vibe and make his friends laugh. WHO AMONG US cannot relate?? I do not believe you if you say no.
I wrote too much and got way too weird about it. I'm sorry it's late I'd edit down but I really don't have the brain capacity.. which is very Dave core of me actually"
Junior (Total Drama Presents: The Ridonculous Race)
"i relate to him a lot because his whole character is being embarrassed of his dad who tries too hard to be cool, but still loves him anyways. that is literally me"
Kim Dokja (Omnicient Reader's Viewpoint)
"kim dokja. oh kim dokja. so, without going into spoilers too much, kim dokja is very much a character you are expected to relate to and it makes the novel DEVASTATING. here's just a few things about him: - he is obsessed with a particular piece of media, and finds comfort in it when real life doesn't give him any. he's constantly thinking about it and defending it and trying to recommend it to other people (even though no one else bothers reading it, because it is an objectively bad 3000-chapter webnovel). even beyond that one novel, he's been using fiction as an escape for just about his entire life, something that rings true for a lot of people, especially in the modern world. - he struggles with socializing with other people. the first chapter alone gave me so much second hand embarrassment. it's so real but god it's So bad. he has zero friends and has that sort of loneliness where you're miserable but you can't really bring yourself to feel anything but resigned to it. in general he is just very Resigned to his unfortunate life and can't fully understand or accept it when it finally does get better - he has a complicated relationship with his mother. it's the kind of relationship where the parent genuinely does love their child, but they fail to give them what they need & have to accept that they hurt their kid and that they cannot be the most important person in their life. it's certainly not a universal experience but those sorts of parent-child relationships are woefully common but scarcely acknowledged -the insecurity. god there is so much insecurity in that man. it's hard to even completely tell it's there at first, because it's so ingrained in how he thinks that you don't question it until you know more about his character and suddenly it's all too apparent. he cannot believe that he can be loved (or, if that he can be, that they certainly would not be able to love all of him, only what he chooses to show them), and is selfless but like. the literal meaning of the word, where he will throw away all of his being for the people he loves. in general there is a lot of sacrifice as a love language which like. while i'm not off around throwing myself in front of magic death beams for people or anything i sure would give up everything i could if it meant helping the people i love - ok enough of that. here's some funny things i can relate to. the guy meets his favorite fictional blorbo and instead of worshipping him instead he bullies him constantly and internally complains about how unbearable he is both in the book and in real life. it's like a "i love my blorbo. i would not last 2 seconds in a room with him." You know. he gets so caught up in his fanon characterizations and biases about characters that he completely mischaracterizes them like constantly. he literally kills a guy half because he was his least favorite character. -this is a poll about blorbo relatability. therefore i must mention that kim dokja too related to his blorbo (or at least attempted to) and what is more relatable than that. anyways. kdj made me realize far too much about myself and is by far the most i have ever related to a character (and i Hate it). and tumblr would definitely relate to him too so :thumbs-up:"
"(SPOILERS) He is literally all of us. Reader. Just some guy. And then insane tragic backstory. But he’s also just some guy. He’s special and also just a guy. He’s also god. He can be shipped w anyone. He has versatility and interests and motivations. He also never tells anyone anything ever. He is so me."
"He reads a trashy, long-ass novel as a coping mechanism and doesn't think he's capable of being loved. Bro dissociates when he's emoting too much."
"I'm a homestuck fan, a Dave Strider fan even Never heard of Omnicient Reader's before Voted for the kim fellow because judging by the propaganda it looks like he himself would be a homestuck reader therefore making him more relatable than the homsetuck character himself"
"This guy’s been my companion since I was 11, I’ve grown up with Omniscient Reader’s Viewpoint and I think that’s pretty funny since he grew up with Ways of Survival (the 3149 chapter novel) and therefore I’m straight up mirroring him. I, too, scare everyone off by being too enthusiastic whenever the webnovel is brought up! His insecurities are severe but I do see myself in some parts of him (which is worrying but whatever.) He is absolutely The Guy Ever. Utterly pathetic wet cat of a man. I love him. He represents the crazy fandom tumblrina in all of us."
Donutella (Tokidoki)
"she's made of donuts basically like me at this point"
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amysgiantbees · 7 months ago
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Dead Boy Spoilers
Things I'd like to see in Dead Boy Detectives Season 2
Tragic Mick and Monty form an Animals with Complicated Feelings About Being Human at Some Point support group. Maybe the Cat King is there too.
Monty takes on Tragic Mick's "curse" and get's to be human again and Mick get's to be a walrus or at least get's to not be human anymore and is a crow. Monty could even take over his store!
Monty and the Cat King dealing with loneliness together. The Cat King has all the loneliness of being an immortal that Edwin's making him unpack (in particular he hangs out with cats all day like fuck they have even shorter life spans than people god he must have lost a lot of loved ones) and Monty deals with loosing his owner/master/mother/weird aunt figure who's probably been his whole world for better and worse up until he got turned human.
Whoever Monty is hanging out with I want to see him far too earnestly doing their star charts.
Boys and Crystal solving just fun random MOTW cases
The Night Nurse and Jenny tearing their hair out trying to keep the teens in check.
Night Nurse in particular having an aneurism every time the boys refuse to fill out a form, brake a rule, or run off without her.
Although alternatively Edwin getting VERY into the forms and learning how Hell and the afterlife works, and instead pestering her about it.
Jenny focusing more on Crystal - and Niko when she comes back.
Jenny learning she can care a bit more. The Night Nurse learning to relax and care a little less.
Jenny getting a good date. Loving her ship with Death but also I like the idea of them meeting a Cat Queen and her little comment about everyone in town being spinsters with cats comes round to instead be this ancient being who is a cat.
Crystal researching her ancestors and finding out more about them.
Crystal dealing with the demon in her brain hopefully before he does something irreparable to her tree.
Maybe they end up interrogating David about the "something worse" Edwin was sold to.
Crystal learning about her powers!
Crystal trying to repair some of her old friendships. Make amends to a couple of people.
Niko reforming the dandelion sprites and learning to lead/work with them. Helping them all find a way to feed without murdering people.
Nico dealing with needing attention to eat and live despite her coping mechanism when she's sad or scared specifically being avoiding people and hiding from others.
Niko figuring out her dandelion god powers. Doing god like things like blessing people who love, care for, and harvest dandelions. Granting wishes when dandelions are blown!
Niko marriage counseling Kingham & Litty (the dandelion sprites).
Either Crystal and Charles giving being together another shot now that David has been "dealt" with for the time being or Charles figuring out that maybe he's attracted to Edwin too. Or both!
I love that since Edwin is "living" through the modern day he can explore his sexuality finally. In a similar vein a lot of people also see him as autistic, and autism awareness has certainly come a long way from the Edwardian period and now could be a good time for his character to explore this too. Charles in turn could help him by talking about their shared neurodivergent experience as I firmly believe he has ADHD.
Charles opening up more about his parents.
Learning Edwin's family backstory
Cat King having Desire as a sort of absentee parental figure so literally the whole gang can have parental issues. Night Nurse I assume does not have parents so get's to be the mentally stable one in this regard and (try to) help everyone through it.
Niko checking in on her mum. Seeing how she's coping.
Edwin and Crystal bonding over doing magic and getting closer as friends. He maybe even initiates a hug!
Edwin getting to initiate a kiss with someone
Scooby Do episode! (I vote Charles is Daphney, Edwin is Velma, Niko is Shaggy and Cyrstal is Fred, maybe the Cat King or Monty is Scoob).
Despair shows up again.
Maybe now that the boys don't need to run from death they reverse it and actively try to seek her out and talk to her.
Crystal seeing her little ghost friend Emma from the first episode again.
Edwin reading Niko's yaoi. It could even be really funny and bittersweet where when they still think she's dead he's reading it and getting emotional and saying to himself "she really did love love" or "I wish I could read this with her" or something emotional like that and then he flicks to the next page and it's something explicit and he suddenly shuts the book and is like "Enough of that for now" XD
Either Edwin and the Cat King get together. Or become friends. Or Thomas makes friends or something with some other kind of immortal so he's not so lonely. I'm leaning towards them being friends because he would have no issues being the friend that explains what hand jobs and molly is to Edwin. Also since he presents himself in a very ambiguously gendered way I feel like he could get him to talk about why he likes disguising himself as a woman so much. Whether than be introducing him to concepts like gender queerness or drag. It's just honestly both Charles and Edwin are pretty repressed and I think now that the Cat King has started to grow he could continue to really push them in a less intense, healthier way.
Monty and Edwin staying friends. Monty and Charles actually getting to properly vibe.
Jenny figuring out now that the shop is dead if butchering is truly what she wants. Since she did it because she inherited the shop she can really explore her wants without any feeling of obligation to her dad. I love that she's a butcher but I just think it'd be interesting to explore her passion for it without so much baggage.
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ohgodmyeyes · 19 days ago
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Hi dad... im 20 and trans in the us and i have no idea what to do with myself... ive heard from family up in canada that things are also bad there... im just so scared how are you coping? i dont know what to do and dont really have anyone else to talk to in my family theyre all hardcore trump supporters. sorry for telling you all this i just dont know where else to turn... i hope youre well though despite everything happening right now
hey! ❤️ I'm almost 40 and definitely-not-cis, and I'm not sure what to do with myself either. we've got a jerk up here who's itching to call an election and try to form his very own ass-kissing Vichy knockoff just in time to roll out the red carpet for Leon Cocksucker and his new Führer; conservative premiers (provincial governors) have already been testing the waters re: health care and bodily autonomy; and at all levels of government, they're threatening to invalidate our charter rights via the abuse of a heretofore rarely-used mechanic intended solely for emergencies.
i genuinely believed that this was all going to turn out differently, but it hasn't, and facism spreads a lot like a cold. Canada likes to pretend to be cool but really we're just an annoying little sibling... which our collective behaviour tends to reflect, oftentimes not for the better.
by Canadian standards I'm kind of garbage, but by global standards my life is pretty charmed; i've known for a long time that it wasn't entirely sustainable, but i genuinely didn't believe I'd have the rug pulled out from under me quite like this. in retrospect i've been watching it happen my whole life, but the recent acceleration has been really — well, not surprising, but... it's been something.
anyway, i'm going on — what I really meant to say was "holy shit I'm sorry you're stuck with people like that" and "please focus on keeping yourself safe, because that has just become your primary obligation". not that it was a picnic before, but being trans just got a lot more difficult. it was supposed to "get better" — but frankly it hasn't; not meaningfully, and i'm horrified that we've let it get this bad.
not that it can't get better again — but we kind of all dropped the ball (i mean us oldish people especially), and now we have to pick up again. print out and save gay and trans stories; write down your own stories; research the past and preserve it for as long as it's available to you. strike a balance between being safe and being yourself, because while visibility just became more dangerous, it also just became that much more important.
months ago, i took my pride pin off of my bag; i hated doing it, but people are becoming increasingly abrasive, and (selfishly, certain caveats notwithstanding) I didn't want to attract any negative attention. i regret that decision now, for as much fuss as it might have spared me, and so i think I might consider putting it back on soon. maybe that will be part of coping; maybe it will help someone; maybe it will be ineffective or even harmful... but like you, I'm not sure what else to do right now. not in light of what's just happened.
things had already been a bit tough, and this isn't exactly helping, but knowing that i'm not alone in grieving what we've lost counts for something. i'm bad at people (VERY bad, like disability-cheque-bad), but none of us can afford to be an island anymore... so i actually can't thank you enough for reaching out. you've probably helped me more than I've helped you, but i hope there's something in this that resonates and makes you feel less alone anyway... because you're not, not at all, even though i'm sure it feels like it in the midst of that hellscape.
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i'm going to go watch star wars now, maybe write something... but i'm still here.
someone smart once told me that if it isn't okay, then it just means it isn't over yet. i believe them. we'll make it because we have to; what other choice do we have?
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franki-lew-yo · 11 months ago
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inb4 nicer post than my last one:
I saw Chicken Run 2. It's pretty cute. Definitely not as big a letdown or wasted like a Pixar sequel is.
Keep in mind I think I'm one of the few people in existence who's never itching to get sequels and continuations of my fandoms. I never wanted a Finding Nemo sequel and Finding Dory broke my heart in the worst way; by having unlimited potential and squandering it and the characters I love.
Chicken Run: Dawn of the Nugget doesn't do that, happy to say. Mostly it's just underwhelming.
It's weird. I'm definitely not a better writer than these professional writers, I just find myself going "why didn't you have the characters do/say THIS instead? It would still be cinematic and in character". I'd have to rewatch to give you a play-by-play of exactly what I mean. Overall I'd call that a nitpick. Bigger criticisms, especially when this is a sequel to a 20 y old film with fans who've seen in hundreds of times and know the details:
Hated how they retconed the chicks at the end of the original. You Thanos snapped Bunty and Fowler and possibly some of Rocky and Ginger's children. Also, those little 100% chicks were adorable. I'm okay with Molly being Ginger's only chick, but she'd look adorable as one of these:
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Another distracting continuity thing: Rocky gets upset that he can't crow anymore. Even though...he was never a crower. That was Fowler's job. I remember. I get that he's a rooster but my point is that was never a thing Rocky did in the original and that should be been better established as what he does now on the island. Put it among the lines that I think could have very easily been slipped in to make it more digestible; you could have had Rocky say to Ginger, "you gotta let me crow! That's, like, my thing now", implying that he's turned to being the island's crow-er to cope with abandoning his lone-free-ranger lifestyle. See? Small changes of dialogue that can imply so much and give you an idea of all the things you need to know in this newer story.
Even though Fowler did technically do something in the end most of the movie felt annoyed and just there. Really would have liked it if he and Babs were back up and helpful some other way while it was mostly Mac, Bunty, and the rats who went in to save Molly and Rocky. Idk. Maybe it's hard to be the absolute banger of a convenience that is the green aliens and ' the claaaaaw' in Toy Story 3-- needed to utilize him better for the gag and the story is what I'm trying to get at.
Rocky and Ginger's voices were distracting. It's odd because Rocky's is definitely the more noticeably different one that you have to get used to, but I am 100% replacing him considering who was his og voice. I'm mostly mad that in order to free Rocky of the curse they had to take the part away from Julia Sawalha.
This is probably going to controversial here but, um, I really wish Mrs. Tweedy wasn't the Mrs. Tweedy in this. I think it'd be a funnier, more of a "here we go again" gag that they actually find some way to contrive the villain of this movie to be Mrs. Tweedy's relative that just happens to look the same, sound the same AND have the same bloodlust for chickens. Like, the gag is that all of Mrs. Tweedy's family is Officer Jenny/Nurse Joy who are all identical to one another but they're also the Cruella of birds and all have a bumbling husband. Even though it's explained how she got here, it just kind of takes the teeth out of her original defeat and even her one in this film.
I kind of wish Ginger had stayed "colarred" for a longer stretch of time and the rest of the crew had to save her. I feel like Molly being placed in her mother's shoes would have been more dramatic and made the situation all the more dire and dependent on the other characters to think up a plan. Ginger being unable to do anything or "broken" would change it up a bit, provided she still makes the final save in the end.
That pop song during the 'Molly-growing-up' montage was bad and didn't suit the time period and vibe of the movie. It really took me out. Just play that in the end credits.
Mr. Fry never appeared again in his creepy chicken man suit and I kind of really liked the idea of this creeeeeepy farmer basically wanting to be friends with the chickens while dressing as one because he thinks he's more connected to them that way. But no that's just for one scene.
I was also expecting Mr. Fry to turn on Mrs. Tweedy as he noticed her obviously flirting with Reginald. Having the ending twist be that he assists the chickens in their escape or lives among them in a horrific chicken suit with the chickens taking advantage of this would have been right at home.
that's all I got.
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luescris · 1 year ago
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So. Side note. There's a lot of things that probably could be better in each of these (the one that gets to me the most is how Rise Donnie looks taller than 2012 like god I wish I had the energy to redo that entire one JUST for that augh ) BUT as they say, practice makes progress haha 😅
Little tidbits for every interaction here after the cut hehehehehe:
The Mikeys
- While 2012 may not be an artist with colored pencils, I'm certain he still appreciates all the bright colors Rise Mikey most definitely uses!! Besides, they both are also culinary artists, so they can trade recipes and all that kinda stuff in the kitchen!! Plus, 2012 has always wanted to know what it's like to have a younger brother figure hehehehe
- There's not much to say other than all that cuz like. They would instantly get along in my opinion lmao 😂
The Raphs
- Rise may be younger than 2012, but that doesn't mean the size doesn't matter FHFHDH Especially since 2012 is like. Just barely almost the smallest of his family lmao 😂
-2012 may at first be kinda hesitant about Rise's girth, size, strength and power, but after getting used to it I'm certain he'll not only want to spar with him, but get tips and tricks of all sorts to get stronger, and would be highly impressed with Rise's strength
The Donnies
- In a way these two would be the same as the Mikey's; they also would get along very well, though maybe 2012 might be a little bit put off by Rise's high ego, but definitely not in a "I don't like this guy" kinda way FHHDHD 😂 He would probably find it endearing after a while if anything!!
- I feel like they both would specialize in different kinda things related to building, and maybe Rise is a bit more advanced (maybe more than a bit since 2012 used nothing but trash but in very impressive ways ahsgs) but if one spots an error in something, the other would immediately follow through, and they'd be a great team!!
The Leos
- Now here's where it gets interesting. Rise and 2012 don't necessarily hate or dislike each other, but at first, they may think they are absolutely nothing alike. Rise would definitely be intimated by just how serious and stoic 2012 is, not to mention all the scars, and 2012 would look at Rise and be a little bit too reminded of how he was when he was that age. The looks they share here aren't of discomfort, Rise just doesn't know what to think of 2012 and 2012 is a bit concerned for Rise's future lmao
- But in the end, once they actually get to talking, they find out they both like space, cartoons, puns, and 2012 can give Rise pointers. Eventually they'll warm up to each other, but it might take a bit longer than the rest haha 😆
Extras
- So. Funny thing. I wanted to lowkey like. Add in Splinter. But I also had a terribly morbid idea of Rise staring or standing next to a picture of 2012 all confused and weary kinda, like a "where is their father" kinda foreboding y'know BDHDHDHDH 😅 Humor is how I cope spare me-
- I was gonna add the April's and Casey's, and maybe I might later on, but I dunno if I'd do Rise!April justice lmao 😅 I don't draw any of these guys enough HFHDHDH
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dracofeathers · 10 months ago
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Calling Fic Writers! Story Idea? -Angst-
If this is already something someone has made, ya'll need to link me ASAP cause its been rotting in my brain all week (if not longer) and I very highly doubt I'd ever be able to write it properly LOL. Art? Maybe...
Please excuse my scatterbrained explanation. I'll probably be adding to this as my little angst-loving brain thinks of more details.
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So, after x amount of time, Aziraphale returns/escapes to the bookshop from Heaven and being Supreme Archangel....just completely defeated, dazed, exhausted and just about broken/verge of breakdown. I've pictured the scene with or without his wings. Crowley and Muriel are there (or at least Crowley) and are understandably surprised/confused.
He just collapses in a sobbing heap muttering and crying "I'm sorry" "Please" "You/we can't do this" "Why" "I don't want to fall" among other unintelligible words, but doesn't seem to quite be with it enough to attempt to explain whats going on. Maybe he'd gain very slight, brief clarity upon seeing Crowley (who has also been a mess), keeps apologizing, begging for forgiveness (from him? Her? Both? Maybe) until finally passing out.
Of course Crowley steps up and tries to take care of him, and figure out whats going on. Because no matter how mad he might get at Aziraphale, how hurt he was by the end of S2, he'll always return and help his angel, because he loves him. Also I'm positive Crowley already knows Aziraphale didn't make that choice easily, that he hurt the angel as well. Bountiful soft, care-taking Crowley here because I live for it.
Eventually when Azi is a bit more stable, (as he would often rotate between quiet desolate/defeated shell shock, and near hysterical crying in fear and grief) Crowley gets bits and pieces of what happened out of him.
The "Supreme Archangel" position was merely a sort of placeholder/fake title, not an actual promotion. Because why would they want to actually give Aziraphale that kind of power to potentially use against them and their plans? He was dangerous enough
The Metatron (and other angels) lied/manipulated Aziraphale the whole time to get him to do what he/heaven wanted. And to of course separate him and Crowley. Possible eventual threats towards Crowley and others to keep Azi "in line". Book of life?
Plans of course include the second coming as it was mentioned, but I'm sure there are others mixed in. More apocalypse starting schemes etc. Never really give the full details and kept the real plans secret. Jesus only mentioned, never seen (very suspicious). Azi tries to investigate but keeps getting interrupted or thwarted. Kept a very close eye on.
Much gaslighting/mental and emotional abuse and manipulation, slowly wearing Aziraphale down in order to break and better control him. No erasing/changing of memories cause its over done to me.
God is still MIA and no one knows whats going on with Her. The Metatron says he speaks with Her, but lets face it he can't be trusted. Definitely scheming on his own with others, maybe Hell as well?
Aziraphale never falls of course, I couldn't do that to our precious angel. He'd be traumatized enough anyway.
Aziraphale tries to be a good angel so bad it hurts, wants to believe in Heaven and "The Great Plan" but is only ever hurt and betrayed for all his efforts up there.
I WILL MAKE THESE TWO WILL HAVE A PROPER TALK I SWEAR
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I just really love hurt/comfort, angst and them taking loving tender care of each other. They would have a happy ending of course. This is how I cope until season 3, don't judge me xD
Also, what I was listening to during this ramble:
youtube
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crow-withaphone · 4 months ago
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Hello hello I'm thinking about @triple-starsss Band AU again but this time I'm gonna rant about my 2 AM thoughts cause I can't sleep and I dont wanna bother anyone rn jshsj, sorry people you gotta deal with my brainrot now :3
Under the cut- Crow rants about Nova, Surge and Kit's band from their Project Starkiller AU if they were in this T.S AU.
Please keep in mind this is a big ol ✨ What If ✨ scenario, I'm just airing out my festering thoughts
The au in general is very fun and I love it very much. I wanna take the whole AU, put it in a jar and shake it around /aff
Now, as far as I'm aware Vix (the AU's creator) said surge and kit won't be prominent in the au to not give T.S too many rivals (understandable) upon reading this I thought "kinda funny that in my AU they already have a little band with Nova.. waitaminute-
SO since this au is kinda more realistic, Surge and Kit are not lab experiments, just two orphans with way too much emotional turmoil and inner resentment, y'know, for the plot /j. Same thing for Nova except she's not an orphan, she's a home runaway (for context, Nova the Cat is from my AU, Project Starkiller, she's an escapee from a lab in another dimension) Thanks to their similarities, being alone and angry at the world, the trio gets along and ends up sticking together.
Personally I'd have Surge aged up so she's old enough to keep a job and a small apartment so they're not. Y'know. On the streets. Surge is doing her best to provide for them, but it's hard. Nova would be the one to convince them to try starting a "band," not really expecting it to go anywhere, she already brought her guitar with her when she ran away from home anyway so, hey, why not give it a try? Surge agrees because she just wants to yell a lot, and Kit agrees because Surge agrees.
I think it'd be good for them all as a coping mechanism, Kit gets to hit stuff, Surge, of course, gets to yell, and Nova's already doing the one thing she enjoys.
Now, at first they are!! Not good!! At all!! They have very cheap equipment and Surge & Kit are newbies, Nova is an okayish teacher but she's also!! A child!! A child prodigy, sure, but a child nonetheless. As they get better they start posting their songs and covers on.. whatever the Mobius version of YouTube is. Some people like their stuff, and thus starts their lil' YouTube career /hj
Edit: I should probably mention that they aren't rivals of the triple stars band or Metallic Madness- Nova is inspired by them both, Surge kinda hates them both for. Some reason. (Bad vibes ig) And Kit is kinda indifferent
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Stars (pun not intended) I hope this made at least a little bit of sense. Iii'm gonna stop ranting now cause it's 3 AM and I need sleep. I'm gonna find this in the morning and probably regret posting it, but for now I am shameless. Hope y'all don't mind this long rant, gotta get my thoughts out somewhere.
And hey, if y'all are interested I'll definitely rant about it more cause this au drives me insane and I highly suggest you go check it out if you haven't
Okay I'm actually done ranting now, gnight creatures within my phone
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thunderstomm · 3 months ago
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Hot Wheels: Let's Race - Season 2 Thoughts
Season 2 has been out for a few days now, and I've watched every episode at least once through, so I'm finally going through all of my thoughts on the show, what's going on, and what I think is going to happen next. The joy of serialized kids shows!
Everything will be under the cut, just in case. Spoiler alert for all of season two!
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First off- we're finally introduced formally to our "mystery racer"- Cruise! She's the daughter of the villain of the first season, Professor Rearview, and a racer in her own right. I have to say, I think her character design is very clever, having the shape of her pigtails match Professor Rearview's big hair! i know some people may not like that Cruise is his daughter, as opposed to a grandchild or niece, but I think that the fact of her being a direct descendant makes more sense for the story they're telling. That and there's fun to be had with Professor Rearview being an evil dad.
Cruise is undeniably the highlight of the season for me, and my new favorite. I enjoy the angle of the racers having a non-camper opponent, as the lack of constant close proximity, or down-time with one another means they don't have to be cordial or polite towards Cruise, and we see a lot of more intense emotions fester as a result- especially on Coop's end.
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I also think in general, Coop as a character works much better in this season. The pre-established motivation, plus his new outstanding title as the camp champ are threatened directly by Cruise, as he is her primary target to beat, and the determination and vigor it brings out in him is very entertaining to watch.
The rest of the racers sadly don't fare as well, as it feels like they take more of a backseat when compared to season 1, outside of a character focus episode. This feels especially apparent with Axle, who has gone from his role as the main rival, to being good-aligned all of the time. His personality is still intact, but It feels very odd to see him so reduced in role, as the show doesn't frame him as a threat to Cruise also- despite the fact he is probably the only racer outside of Coop who could pose such a threat. The rest of the cast seem much more competitive when Cruise is not in the picture, but once she is, the show relegates them back to supporting roles. Considering the show's age demographic and the story it wants to tell, this isn't a huge problem, but nonetheless a little sad to see.
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We also get a bit of backstory for Dash and Professor Rearview! I'm surprised to see they're the same age- either Dash has aged really well, or Professor Rearview has aged terribly. It's interesting to see they were campers at the same time. Were they friends? The amount of team-strengthening exercises that Dash has her own campers do is re-contextualized by this reveal- is she trying to prevent a repeat of what became of Rearview by making sure they do actually like eachother and get along, meaning the jealousy that comes with losing is minimal, or reduced because they can feel good for the person who does win because they are friends?
The environment that Dash and Rearview were in was clearly far more competitive and unforgiving. Of course, we can't pin it all on just that, as Professor Rearview's coping mechanism and overreaction to his loss is his own fault. Explanations, not excuses. And carrying this grudge for at least 30 years, it has long passed being something to be blamed on the conditions of the environment.
I'd love to see a flashback episode regarding their time at the Ultimate Garage honestly! Who were the other four campers who they trained alongside? I'd like to think maybe Axle's dad, Striker, was one of them. Seeing the exact conditions of the race would certainly help to clarify as much. Not to mention, they already have the 3D models for young Dash and Rearview...
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One thing that was made clear by the episode count, and the season ending about half-way through the level 2 arc is that season 2 has been split in half, and the season 3 we're to get is really the second half of season 2. Which means more time to dwell on what we've gotten, and who will be the winner of the Ultimate Garage. There's also the question of whether the show will redeem Cruise, and have her join the side of good. I personally am conflicted? It would be interesting, and makes sense, but we are also yet to see any desire to change- let alone Cruise's own motivation and feelings towards her father's plans.
One thing I wish we had seen was a slower moment between Cruise and someone else, particularly any of the racers! I think the show would have it be Coop, as he is our main character, and I don't really have an issue with such. Season 1 gave us a whole episode where he was made to work with Axle, and it gave us a better insight into his character, motivation, and storyline. I think an episode like this with Cruise, under a circumstance that suits their storyline and characters better, would work wonders. Cruise clearly LIKES to race, and yet she is willing to help her father win it in order to destroy it? There's the general question of why Professor Rearview would even allow his daughter to be a racer, but considering he was a former racer, I suppose it would be a waste to not pass on those skills. Is Cruise of the belief that her father will spare her car, and allow her to keep racing? I want to see Cruise forced to talk to someone so that we get these answers.
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As mentioned in a prior post, I have two theories regarding the next season's end, the winner of the Ultimate Garage, and the events that could follow. These are both hypotheticals in which Cruise does get a redemption arc, so both of these could very easily be wrong, and Cruise could remain evil, which still would be fun to see.
Option 1: Coop wins the Ultimate Garage. Coop manages to catch up in flame badges to Cruise, leaving the final race as to being between the both of them. Coop ends up winning the big race, much to the delight of the other camp racers, Dash, and his father. However, this victory does not stop Professor Rearview, and he puts his plan into motion to destroy the Ultimate Garage anyways. The campers and Dash all band together to stop him, but It's not enough. All hope seems lost, and there is a moment between Professor Rearview and Cruise where Cruise comes to the realization that their plan working means she will never race again, and lashing out in anger to get a victory that destroys the rich car culture of the city, and takes away something she loves, is just not worth it. She'd rather race again and get a chance to prove herself and improve, rather go down as a sore loser. Using her knowledge of her father, her car's unique abilities, and a little encouragement from Coop and the other campers, Cruise helps to stop his plan. After his defeat, Coop invites the other racers to continue staying with him at the Ultimate Garage, wanting them all to continue improving together. He also ends up extending the invite to Cruise, considering that now she has no place to go, as she's betrayed her father, and now that she's "good".
Option 2: Cruise wins the Ultimate Garage. Despite the campers' best efforts to beat her, Cruise still ends up winning out, and is rewarded with the ownership of the Ultimate Garage, much to the despair of everyone else. She excitedly shares the news with her Father, who is excited to begin the plans to destroy the whole thing. However, Cruise is starting to have doubts. She has all of these amazing cars and resources at her fingertips now, and she can use these to become an even better racer! She tries to convince her father that maybe they don't have to destroy everything, and can keep some of it intact, but he is not having any of that. He's looked forward to this for years! Realizing that he won't listen, Cruise instead asks for help from the campers, admitting that she was wrong, and needs their help now to stop Professor Rearview. Reluctantly, they choose to believe and trust her, and foil the plans with their racing skills. Once he is stopped, Cruise attempts to hand back over ownership of the garage, but the others insist she keep it. They come to a compromise- they'll share. After all, there's a lot they can all still learn from one another, as people and as racers.
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Thanks for reading all of the way through! What are your thoughts on the new season, and your theories, if you have any ! I'd love to hear what everyone has to say!
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yuseirra · 3 months ago
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Your essay reeks of passion. That's what I like about it.
I'm just as obsessed with psychology lol. I tried to analyse and anticipate this relationship when the manga wasn't finished yet and I got it right lol. I don't think we'll go wrong with our interpretation.
It hurts like hell when I see this ship lol, because it could have been beautiful and I love both characters. I think it also have an special meaning for me.
STORYTIME MOMENT
I think it's also because, I have to admit, one of the reasons I was an Ai yume / waifuist was because I found the character lovable but also because I felt understood (I have a pretty cynical view of the world lol but I'm taking care of myself). Thinking about helping me to get better and get back on track. Coping with life's problems at a time when I was being neglected. To give a little more meaning at a time when I was becoming nihilistic. So I wanted to give meaning to fiction. Because the real Ai was someone I understood. That person who was crushed by the world and just wanted to learn love, I could understand that. I've found a little joy where I was morose. It saved me. I wanted to love her, even though I know it's fiction and that she can't love me. It hurts me to know that, in the end, she hardly ever had anyone to love her. I wish I could have been that person. I don't care if it's unrequited. I love her. It's CRINGE with a C lol but it's true. A dimension separates me from her, what a sadness lol. I'm bound by the chains of attachment to her, and it's my curse and my blessing.
So I kind of understand him. When you don't have much, all it takes is a little and everything lights up. But lose it and you become dust and plunge into the abyss of despair. And in the possible and probable desire to make sense of it all.
So I want this ship not to end even worse, because I want someone to love her since I can't. A final tribute, even if they're separated by the barrier of life. Let my girl and my boy be happy for once.
Even if the work is dark and a bit creepy, it's become a work of comfort and I think I put a bit of my soul into it lol (as a text whose intensity I should have measured out).
You often make the comparison with Japanese gods, but I'd also like to give you another possibility that I've noticed: the story of Layla and Majnun. A man who can't marry the woman he loves because of circumstances around him and his mistakes, becomes crazy about the woman he loves and can't give up that love.
I was going to leave for the night(and I will after I answer this ask!) but I felt I shouldn't let this one go unattended for long..(it usually takes some time for me to get to messages;v;!! I need some energy)
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Wanted to attach a picture of Ai!
Mhm, I can't daren't say I "understand", but I always felt like Ai is very real in many aspects even if she's a fictional character. What she's going through can apply to people in real life, and it's portrayed in a very lifelike way. I remember having read a review the first time I picked up this series, the person reviewing it wrote they could relate to her character so well because it is exactly the way they felt about things. They really couldn't comprehend what "love" could actually be like, as much as they wanted it, so they kept struggling to pretend they knew about it- something like that, I don't remember the exact details.
I felt from the beginning that her song and her story could reflect how some people really are, and that there would be people who's been where she is- but reading something like that really struck me. I feel Ai could and would be a very important/precious character for some, she displays emotions and goes through experiences that can be their reality. That makes me want to pay careful attention to depicting how she is sometimes/when I bring out her character. She's unique, but also quite universal.
I can't say I can fully understand how you'd feel because I haven't been in your shoes, but I can see how what you've mentioned can happen to you, it's really comforting to find something that you can relate to in a piece of media, right? It is that way for me too. Also, I hear fiction has that magic of increasing one's empathy (I read a study proves that in a book) we get to see how other people function and come to realize what they face a little better, we cry and laugh with them. When there's a character that's built really well(and Ai is created with careful attention and a lot of research, I feel, she's so detailed and delicate in terms of how she is as a character) it helps even more on that aspect. I respect that.
And isn't Ai really strong? She gets hurt, she's wary, scared and weird and she isn't perfect and she's built a big mask of lies, but what I felt about her on top of all that is that she tries really hard, and she never gives up on trying to love. Thinking how a young girl who's been so hurt and lonely and abused/neglected as a child was able to endure everything that she's gone through, and even HELP someone else during those struggles, and still dreaming, going out there to achieve what she wants about life, that's pretty inspiring. I think she can be a good example, despite her having met a pretty sad fate. I don't think her life was a failure, it was filled with new challenges and she tackled it with all her heart and she finally got what she really wanted in the end. She lived vigorously. There's a lot to learn from her, I feel. She perseveres and makes her wishes come true. That's why I want her to be happy in every aspect :) (her boyfriend better live up to her and I feel like he is someone who can) as well as everyone who's been in that spot to be as well! I want onk to be a story like that, and I think it will? I think that'd be the point of making Ai like this. This character has the potential to make people happy as she becomes happy in the story herself. So I want that to happen!
I make a lot of comparisons with Japanese gods because this is a Japanese piece and I feel it's what the author would've actually used as reference! (didn't read kaguya-san but I heard that one has some jp folklore refs too!) But I'll look into the story you mentioned as well! I don't think I'm familiar with it yet but it seems interesting! There are a lot of stories about unrequited love, isn't it? ;v;) but I hope this one gets a happy ending.
speaking of which, Hikaru's name is Hikaru Kamiki right?
I probably said this but he may be collecting light(Hikaru/hikari) (from the star eyes??) to become a god(kami) like Ai who's returned to being a star. (Ai hoshino=love of a star) I feel star=god in this universe from the stuff they're keep implying.. so it's about trying to reach someone who's far away. You know, this is actually what Mephisto's lyrics imply as well.
If life returns to you, if it reaches you, ah I don't care what happens to me Ah, but not every wish will be fulfilled And if that’s not realized, I shall become you The stars shatter and shine < this.
I'll be, if this isn't the case. I'm so convinced at this point.
I don't really want to add on to your personal experiences and discuss about them, I feel it'd be rash of me to make some sort of comment on it. I'd like to tell you I've read it :) and the fact that you can open your feelings up to someone, I feel that's a good sign. That needs to happen in order to heal, I believe. I hope good things happen to you and you find a lot of things that give you joy, and I really hope this series will live up to it too! I want it to have a satisfying ending ;v; come on.. I bought the physical books too~... I'm glad I have something to be passionate about to say the least-(I'm glad you can tell!) it's a loved series, so I wish it gets a great closure for both the fans and the ones who are responsible for creating it.
We'll see how it wraps up! I hope it will be an ending I will love~ and that hikaai will sail bc;; I really can't see it not being any other way for it to get a meaningful closure. For now, goodnight~
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