#i'd love to include more people in the process to make it more lively

[the-rebel-archivist]

Finally finished Veilguard a few days ago and took some time to process and put my thoughts in order. In brief: 8/10 game as a whole, a really fantastic gaming experience, but 5 or even 4/10 as a dragon age game since it does no meaningful exploration of any nuance or moral complexity and seems to have forgotten what made Thedas distinct. My thoughts, critical and positive, coming from a place of love for the series with little to no spoilers:

Thedas has always been special to me because it was a nuanced world. Different groups had different opinions based on their pasts. City elves and the dalish had divergent histories. Injustice against magic was common, but you could understand the justification for it even when you didn’t agree. Now, the worldbuilding is flattened. A mageocracy is fine, it’s only bad apples. Slavery is never addressed. City and dalish elves are basically the same but one lives in the forest. There’s no conflict about what’s best from each individuals’ perception, all groups are monoliths.

“Elves won’t follow the gods just because they’re elves,” yes they would, in past lore. Perhaps not all but some would - these are their Creators. The game refuses to deal with religious belief in any meaningful way, to the point that I don't know if its impact is fully understood. Dalish religion is as much about cultural preservation as religion and it would be CRUSHING to lose that connection to the past when it had been all you could cling to for thousands of years.

And no, seeking out relics of Arlathan would not make up for the foundation of your society shattering and what that would mean to the dalish. Bellara being guilty that her gods are evil is not the takeaway I expected when I thought the dalish would explore that everything they believed was a lie. I'd also like to briefly comment on how an elf can comment that they weren’t raised dalish but adopted their tattoos. Their closed practice tattoos. Closed even to city elves unless they fully joined a clan. Removing cultural boundaries didn’t make the material less 'problematic', it just created a new blind spot.

“They’d never sanitize the Crows” I said before release. Assassins who walked the line between murderer and hero depending on perspective. But in this game they give you absolute truth: they’re freedom fighters. Responsible government who, the mob is benevolent and that is never subverted. They see themselves as the 'good guys' and so they are.

“They wouldn’t put powerful mages in charge of the shadow dragons” I said. “Surely they will explore the nuance of Neve having the privilege of magic in a mageocracy even when she comes from a lower class beyond ‘everyone is welcome in the shadow dragons’.” “Surely if Maevaris is connected her intersectionality as a magister and altus and trans woman will come up - not what Tevinter expects, helping with change, but still privileged and upper class. Surely low class non mages and slaves would be leading the Shadow Dragons, not the powerful being benevolent.”

But no. All factions in the game are black and white, good and evil, no moral complexity. The bad people want power and collect bad people who want power and only bad people do bad things. The antagonists I liked most were the ones with a motivation beyond simply power and they were few.

And that’s setting aside the fact that all of the mystery and fantasy was removed from the setting by the end. The things that mattered before, the religious conflicts, the approaches to history? All false or meaningless now that we know absolute truth. Everything that set Dragon Age apart from generic fantasy was flattened. All of the lore for the world that I had spent hours, days, years in and creating fanfic for became simple groups of good and bad, subjectivity replaced by objective truth. It’s not a world I want to unravel and explore anymore.

That hurts more than the slap in the face that was every cameo and past reference. If they wanted a soft reboot, why include them at all? Every time I saw or heard about a past character or event I felt hurt and angry and it actively harmed my experience of the game. When the choices are pared down to only do something "meaningful" with them and then that meaningful thing is a codex that had been so disdained in dev comments? I do feel pretty let down. Especially when that codex isn’t even personalized.

They never use Rook or the inquisitor’s first name in text once. Vocal I get, but no codex? The Inquisitor, a person depersonalized into a symbol, signing off “Yrs. The Inquisitor” when we input their name in CC was a twist of the knife I didn’t expect. It’s like every time I lower my expectations to grant grace they need to be lowered yet again.

Similarly, the romances in the “most romantic game yet” are paper thin throughout the game depending on your choice, with few chances to truly connect on an emotional level and have deep conversations in some routes. It’s not all about kissing but having the chance to say how you feel, or try to.

But that’s part of a larger problem, that this is a “found family” but Rook is the outsider in it. Rook isn’t asked how they’re handling things or about who they are or what they want except by Solas. The team needs them to fix problems but has little interest in giving back. The companions are lovely, but I can’t help wishing they were friends with me and not just each other. Or wanted to romance me and not just each other, as they begin to flirt before I can and have more banter comments than the player romance. At least if no one got me I know Davrin got me.

These last comments are the reason it’s 8/10 as a game rather than 10/10 for me - the lore I care about but others won’t. The lack of connection is a genuine issue, along with how unbalanced it is depending on romance. I just feel sad at the lost potential to reflect and gain support from companions.

On a positive note, this is the most fun Dragon Age game I’ve ever played. The gameplay is top notch and combat is so fluid and fun. I felt excited to fight rather than dreading the next battle. Really getting into the roleplay of a slippery rogue

The environments are so gorgeous. Lighting, animation, level design, sound design, all spectacular. I’m bad with maps and yet I never got lost and always managed to find my way around. Secret passages to treasure were just the right length to be satisfying. The puzzles were exactly the right amount of investment for the reward. I never felt frustrated by them but also not disappointed by the simple ones, there was a good balance. I had a lot of fun uncovering them. So many areas looked like a perfect representation of thedosian places I had never been to and wanted to visit.

Every time I was in the necropolis it felt like coming home. Maybe it’s because the lore was the most similar to past lore, maybe it’s just because it was cool, but I loved being there. I loved the wisps most of all. And I loved Emmrich’s journey and sympathetic exploration of death. The Hossberg Wetlands were also a standout area. Absolutely horrible (complimentary). Evka and Antoine my beloveds and the environment storytelling was fantastic. Like a hideous combination of the Fallow Mire and Chateau d’Onterre and I was so there for it. Davrin’s story broke my last flight loving heart.

The set pieces and narrative flow in the major battles and main story missions is really wonderful. I also did enjoy the faction reactivity, even if there were few chances to explore the intersectionality of being a particular lineage with a particular faction. I’ll make our House proud Viago!

It’s such a fun game that when I play I can almost forget all of the things that I dislike until a codex or cameo punches me in the face. It has such great gameplay that I can finally discuss DA with my partner who refused to play the other games in the series. But what a monkey’s paw. I know from their previous work that they can foster nuance. From the art book that their instincts were there from the beginning. But somewhere after multiple reboots they made a world with contradiction and complexity removed, more reactive to fan discourse than to telling a complex narrative.

It kills me because if the nuance and subjectivity and moral complexity had been there, I would have considered this the best Dragon Age game ever made. It will always be the most fun. But it is legitimately more fun for people who don’t know lore than people who do, and that is soul-crushing. It's the most beautiful Thedas has ever been, and the least like Thedas it has ever felt.

I’ve played it once. I already started a replay. I enjoy the game a lot when I am playing it, overall. But I miss Thedas, and I miss that the “world worth saving” that I cared for is a slate wiped clean and this new world is a more simplistic place.

[mysterycitrus]

I know a lot of ppl ask u abt jason or dick but im wondering now, what do u think about bruce? I find him a very interesting character whose characterization is incredibly feeble, both bc of his 80 years of history and the tendency writers have to project their own male fantasies on him. So i'd definitely love to hear ur own thoughts about him. I personally enjoy depicting him as someone morally grey, although my sympatization for him changes day to day. Wether you think he is a good or a bad person, i believe u need to make him dedicated to gotham and the bat as a symbol, and that comes with all its advantages and drawbacks

bruce wayne is sooooo interesting (derogatory) because like u said, he carries the baggage of every masochismo author that decided batman was too woke and should hurt his kids and that supporting gotham’s infrastructure is for pussies. there’s also the flipside of that, where he’s the perfect father who’s waaaay too emotionally regulated for my taste. both of these interpretations are bad imo, and both functionally miss the point.

i think part of this (in fandom) is an obsession with moral angst — u can either be a good person doing good things, or a bad person doing bad things. think about how some characters are crucified while others are babied. someone always has to be absolutely right, and the other has to be absolutely wrong.

in reality, there are a lot of people who are fundamentally kind and fundamentally want to do good that are really terrible to the people in their lives. bruce wayne being someone who relies on having so much control that it implodes his connections to the people around him is an important part of his character. his profound love for his children, for gotham and her people, for humanity in general and his belief in peoples ability to change, doesn’t circumvent the fact that he’s often an emotionally abusive man who hurts others to achieve his own ends. he contains multitudes.

writing him as a functionally irredeemable, violently abusive person is the anti-thesis to the symbol that he himself created. no, i personally don’t believe he actively beats his kids (even though it’s supported in the text). no, i don’t think he’s an irredeemable sadist (as much as frank miller wants u to believe otherwise). to have people like dick grayson and diana and clark and dinah love and believe in u means that there has to be something there worth caring about, otherwise the whole universe is gonna fall apart.

that’s what makes his relationship to cass so interesting — he sees his neuroticism, his dedication to the cause above all else, and does not find it admirable. he finds it confronting and upsetting. and to be clear, cass (like dick) is very much the moral ideal of what batman should be, but still bruce finds it hard to deal with!!

his abject failures — his treatment of the robins, his crippling guilt about jason, his fears of becoming a killer, the impossible load he gives himself to carry — means that when he’s shown as someone who genuinely cares, it makes him more complex. like yeah, bruce isn’t actually a cold hearted person. he really really gives a shit. too many shits, to be totally honest. he’s a morally grey person that wants to do good, but is so terrified of losing control that he keeps others away and hurts them in the process. there’s a reason why his emotional crutch was a traumatised eight year old fr. nothing is more important than the mission, including bruce wayne himself

[guiltycorp]

Damn i really want to know tf happened in the writing room of arcane s2. Some of the downgrades were inevitable due to the show's corporate limitations (not being able to progress the class war story in a meaningful way, having to tie things back to league of legends in terms of making playable characters more appealing to well, play... rip Mel and Viktor in particular), sure. But i still feel like it's even worse than that? There are so many bad decisions that i couldn't even start listing them all... the characters, plot, pacing, themes, it's just such a mess? Even the dialogue writing, it feels much more mm Marvel at its worst i suppose. What i am most bothered by is probably just the straight up harmful messaging so um... Cycles of violence and abuse can be broken by individual decisions to become a better person! Got nothing to do with systemic oppression, living conditions, mental health issues, you can just conveniently ignore aaall the social context, live laugh love and then things get better automatically yep, oppressors famously stop oppressing you when you show them that you're harmless and won't put up a fight anymore. Literally three out of three suicidal characters dying to redeem themselves? Not even in a tragic/cathartic way but in a bittersweet 'they finally atoned for their mistakes' way? Groundbreaking lmao. Romantic relationship between Vi and Caitlyn including no communication about their biggest fight, just conveniently skipping to sex and getting back together - would have loved that if it was framed as the unhealthy fucked up thing that it is, skipping over Vi's hurt and her background to once again become a cop, her girlfriend's direct underling at that (!) due to her not having any other support systems... But nope that was our cute lesbian romance wrapped up, a good thing all around, not concerning at all. Jayce telling Viktor that what he 'always admired about him' was his disability and his deadly disease (??? from a character who spent the whole s1 and first act of s2 desperately trying to help Viktor find a cure? sure) and that those imperfections don't need fixing, just wtf truly. Magic bullshit was also weird, some implications of 'natural magic is ok, but achieving that power through other means corrupts you into a crazy robot bitch or just wilts your trees i guess', but tbh it was written in such a weird and inconsistent way that we can skip this one... Yeah actually a lot of things were just such a mess that I feel silly pointing to specific moments or lines I didn't like, I mean duh, it barely makes sense as a story at all... I am happy we have s1 which comparatively was a masterpiece, and i also really enjoyed s2 act1, i truly believed it would lead somewhere good at the time, my mind still kind of cuts off the story at that point when i think about it, that WAS the open ending of the show to me (is it possible that there were rewrites? targeting act 2 and 3? idk, wishful thinking perhaps). Despite my extremely negative feelings about this season's conclusion i remain glad that so many people appreciate the show regardless, it is clear that there was STILL a lot of love in the process of its creation (although i'd argue that even some of the visual aspects of the show suffered in quality, once again i have to wonder about behind the scenes mood of it all) and i get very upset when i see creatives online despairing over reception of their projects even when i'm absolutely in the disgruntled crowd hahaha... ...however yeah, this wasn't great In a world that increasingly grows more and more right-wing politically... we really needed something different i think.

[whenmemorydies]

Ancestors and The Bear

Phew, the discourse in season 3 of The Bear on legacy was STUNNING to me. This post by @gingergofastboatsmojito and episodes 3x01 Tomorrow and 3x07 Legacy have been sitting on my heart since I finished my binge of the show. Some thoughts under the cut. (I say "some" but this is another long ass post, soz).

If seasons 1 and 2 of The Bear went into the impact of our birth families on each of us, season 3 shifted pretty squarely to talking about the impact of our professional mentors on our lives. I've described those mentors as culinary ancestors, which as a concept I get into below. I loved this aspect of this season and the show generally. It is so rich and I feel like I'm only going to scratch the surface of it here. Keen to hear others' thoughts on this too.

Legacy and Ancestry

In 3x07 Legacy, Carmy talks to Marcus about the idea of legacy in the context of chefs he had worked with - how those chefs had talked to him about how their work would carry on through iterations and generations of subsequent chefs and restaurants that came after them. I'll include both a transcript and screenshots of this conversation below:

Carmy: Like, um, something would start somewhere, and then, uh, people would take that thing and then they would take it somewhere else. So, all these parts of an original restaurant, they would end up at a new restaurant and that kind of thing. That would happen over and over again. And then all these parts of all these restaurants, they would sort of-- You know, they would find each other. And then new people would take those parts and they would put 'em into their restaurant. And the whole thing, it would, um-- It would start to happen all over again.

Marcus: So, like a family tree or something?

Carmy: [looks to Syd who has her back to him, closing her locker] Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

Most folks understand ancestry to refer to our family or genetic lineage. When I was in university, I learned about intellectual ancestors or genealogy: where one can trace your intellectual lineage - the thinkers and creators that have shaped your understanding of the world and/or your chosen profession. I think its useful to take this concept and apply it to The Bear to help understand what the show is saying about legacy. I wouldn't limit the concept to "intellectual" ancestry though. It might be more helpful to talk about culinary ancestors in this context because the process of creating food - crafting dishes - isn't solely an intellectual exercise. It engages our intellect yes, but also each of our senses, our memories (recall that chocolate banana from 2x10 The Bear), and the need to nurture and be nurtured.

Culinary Ancestors

Carmy's culinary ancestors are varied given his work history. We know he's cooked under some of the best chefs in the culinary world of The Bear, including: Daniel Boulud (of Daniel), René Redzepi (of NOMA), Thomas Keller (of The French Laundry), David Field (a sociopathic Joel McHale, of Eleven Madison Park), and Andrea Terry (a sublime Olivia Colman, of Ever). I'd also include here Mikey, Donna and Natalie Berzatto. I'd include cousins Richie Jeremovich and Michelle Berzatto as well. These are the home and line cooks Carm grew up with, watched in his mother's kitchen and at The Beef. He took his lessons - the good and the bad, learnt voluntarily and involuntarily - from all of these people, incorporated them into his working self and transmuted them into his food.

In particular, I've talked here about Chef Terry and the valuable lesson of "every second counts" that she carried with her as she mentored waves of chefs through her restaurant, Ever. That post also talks about the parallels between Terry and Syd (which were even more evident in season 3), the latter of whom I'd argue is also one of Carmy's culinary ancestors ("you make me better at this").

I wish we had more information about Sydney and her influences. We know that prior to The Beef, she worked at restaurants Smoque BBQ, Alinea and Avec. We meet at least one of her mentors, Chicago restauranteur Donnie Madia in 2x03 Sundae and 2x10 The Bear, as well as Nayia at the fictional Verdana French Bistro (which ends up closing by 2x09 Omelette). They each offer up small insights into Sydney: that her food is amazing and that she is always "trying to be the best." Carmy is also undoubtedly one of Sydney's culinary ancestors, as infuriating and withholding as he can be. I'm also certain that Sydney's parents and the cultural history/ies that she's inherited through them are part of her culinary lineage as well. I really, really hope that we get much more insight into this side of her next season.

Respect, mentorship and lineage

One of the things that first drew me to The Bear was the respect that the show gave its characters of colour. In particular, the opportunity and support given to people of colour from a working class operation like The Beef to continue into the fine dining world of The Bear. I've spoken a bit about this here.

I haven't seen a dynamic on television before, where folks from the backgrounds like the POC characters in The Bear are from, are backed in the way they are on the show. Where there are mentors who will invest in them to train them up, and who will take those folks with them as they move into more elite and skilled spaces. Hell, I have barely seen this happen in the roughly two decades that I've been in wage-earning employment myself. Lets be clear, capitalism does not incentivise this kind of shit. Its why certain industries, including the world of fine dining, remain largely if not completely exclusive, demarcated by gender, race and class.

Yes this season was fucked in terms of which characters were getting prioritised for screen time over key Black characters like Sydney and Marcus (the Faks can genuinely go fuck). The lack of care given to Marcus, in particular, whose mother's passing was treated almost perfunctorily in comparison to a wholly unnecessary conversation amongst the entire crew about Cl@ire in 3x02 Next (quoting Richie: "who cares?!"), was also fucked. I would have preferred to have spent more time with Syd, Marcus, Tina, Ebraheim, Sweeps, Manny and Angel than listening to Neil, Ted and fucking Sammy (?!) Fak blather their way through precious minutes during this show.

But even with the above, The Bear regularly manages to floor me with beautiful moments of mentorship, leadership and love featuring characters of colour on the show. This is particularly the case in the relationships between culinary ancestors Carm and Sydney with "descendants" Marcus and Tina.

Birth of the The Bear lineage

Recall 1x08 Braciole where Sydney tells Marcus that after she finished culinary school, she spent all her money eating her way through New York. She says that she had the best meal she's ever eaten while she was there. With Marcus' gentle prodding, we find out that the person who created that meal, was Carmy.

Its not until the first episode of season 3 when we see how this actually played out, for both Carmy and Syd. I won't rehash the details of this scene because it is truly beautiful filmmaking to behold. Please if you haven't already, go watch 3x01 in its entirety. Have tissues nearby.

I will say, that in the best meal Syd ever had, Carmy literally served up his heart and lifeblood (check the cut of the fish, the crimson of the blood orange decoction).

That meal - that seed of inspiration from Carmy - birthed something in Sydney, something that would push her to find Carmy much later, working at his brother's sandwich shop.

Together these two incredibly talented chefs started their own lineage, taking what they knew and investing it into The Beef and eventually, The Bear:

And then, the next generation of collaboration and inspiration emerges:

This is why the visuals in 3x01 Tomorrow, with Syd sitting in quiet contemplation of Carm's dish, are so poignant. From 1x01 System, Carm and Syd have been growing their branch of their shared culinary family tree, nurturing it alongside those of their respective ancestors:

In 3x01 Tomorrow, we see that tree literally emerging from the moment Sydney meets Carm, on a plate.

It all starts when Sydney leaves culinary school and decides to make the most of her time in New York, eating at every place she could think of including, at Eleven Madison Park. And when Carmen, after losing Mikey, decides to make a few seconds count, taking ownership of a dish that he knows is going to be stolen from him and bastardized otherwise. The rest is history, or legacy.

Author's note:

I just wanted to draw attention to the fact that this show is also an exercise of mentorship and collaboration: Ayo Edebiri directing 3x06 Napkins under the guidance of Calo and Storer. Ramy Youssef directing 2x04 Honeydew under the guidance of Storer who had previously directed him on and produced Ramy. The fucking force of nature that is veteran Liza Colón Zayas being directed by Ayo. Jeremy describing the filming of 2x06 Fishes as akin to watching masters at work. Of course any television production is a collaborative effort and there are countless names I'm not familiar with who have put their precious time and energy into making this beautiful thing. I just thought it worth mentioning that at times, this show glimmers with truths, and I think thats because, in some way, they're in the marrow of the thing.

[queerprayers]

Hello! I'm a genderfluid Christian and I'm currently trying to discern whether going on HRT would be a good idea, both in terms of whether it would be worth the inconvenience and whether it would be glorifying to God. Do you have any recommendations?

(For a long time, I was comfortable in my gender without it, but a few months ago something shifted and now I can't stop thinking about it. I would ask a pastor, but I'm between churches at the moment; the Baptist church I went to for many years, despite its many good qualities, is not at all affirming, and I'm still in the process of finding a better spiritual home, which is further complicated by the fact that I am nocturnal.)

Thank you for running this blog, by the way. It means a lot to me.

Hello, beloved! I will do my best and I'm so glad you're here.

I hope you've heard this quote from Daniel M. Lavery, but just in case you haven't: "As my friend Julian puts it, only half winkingly: 'God blessed me by making me transsexual for the same reason God made wheat but not bread and fruit but not wine, so that humanity might share in the act of creation.'"

Another quote from that book (Something That May Shock and Discredit You, which I highly recommend) that comes to mind is “Trying not to transition was the hardest work in the world. The nicest thing about transition was letting go.” I believe you that you're unsure, and I'm not trying to make your decision for you, but on the off chance that any of your discerning has taken the form of trying to convince yourself not to transition in this way, or downplaying your current discomfort, or not trusting yourself out of fear, I'd say that being trans in this world is hard enough without being on your own side.

Ultimately, you know yourself and your experience, and I'd hazard a guess that you've already decided more than you think. Often by the time I'm reaching out about a life change, I'm asking permission more than advice. If that rings true, here's your permission (not that you need it from me).

I hope you don't mind, but I checked in with my partner (a certified Transgender) while answering this, and I'll paraphrase what they had to say about HRT and inconvenience: Is the travel time to see a loved one worth the inconvenience? Ultimately, you are worth dealing with inconvenience. The happiness you could have is worth the inconvenience. Being trans is hard with or without medical transition. But sharing in the act of creation is worth it. We are all worth doing hard things for, and for some that includes fighting to get on HRT and being visibly trans in public.

You can't know until you begin a journey if it will be "worth it"—but I would imagine answering this for yourself, giving this instinct inside you a chance, would be worth it even if it's not forever. There are people who start HRT and decide it's not for them—and their lives aren't ruined. Their lives are fuller for honoring what they wanted at that point in time. Obviously regret happens—but we cannot refrain from living because of that. Your gender identity and your relationship with your body may change and grow, and all parts of that change are worth of honoring.

As to whether this would glorify God—are you honoring the person God created? If (to paraphrase St. Teresa of ��vila) Christ has no body now on earth but yours, if yours are the hands with which he blesses all the world, the feet with which he walks to do good, the eyes with which he looks compassion on this world —what body are you moving through this world with, and how will you care for it? What will enable you to live out Christ? Jesus calls us to meet every stranger as himself—what would happen if you met yourself as such, too? If everything we do to another is what we do to Christ—feed, clothe, honor—why would you be any less? Why would your body not be worthy of existence, of shelter?

If our bodies are temples to God, are they not places of worship? Of course my journey with accepting my body has shown me that we can be faithful Christians before accepting ourselves, and as we learn to care for ourselves. I don't mean to imply we cannot. But our peaceful existence in these places of worship takes work, and just as we work to make our churches more accessible and accepting, so must we work to care for our bodies and fully inhabit them as prayer. My work of love to my body was accepting it as it is, welcoming its change and faults, and also taking psychiatric medication so that I could function better. It was prayer for me, the journey to find a medication that worked and paying attention to how it was changing me, how it enabled me to better serve as a child of God.

Every trans person I know has been more fully able to love when they live as themselves—when they've had access to transition care, when they've been respected and affirmed. These were not selfish choices, they were self-honoring choices which have shone outward ever since. We can look to the Bible to see name changes at moments of God-glorifying change, and we can also see physical change—the shining face of Moses, the woman who only seeks to grasp the hem of Jesus's clothing to be healed, Paul going temporarily blind, Jesus himself at his transfiguration. We cannot serve God and stay the same.

Romans 12 tells us to offer our bodies as a living sacrifice—living. Yes, we are called to be willing to die for love, but also to live for it. Preventing your flourishing because it would be scary, or inconvenient, or misunderstood, or because it may not be where your flourishing lies forever, is not a sacrifice for love. Transition, the way I've seen it in the people around me, is.

I also want to point out that you've done the work—you introduced yourself as a genderfluid Christian. I don't know your story, but I know the years of reconciling saying those words can take. You have the language for yourself. You know who you are. HRT can be a huge first step for some, but it can also be just the next part of that work. It doesn't have to be huge. For some it is simply bringing things more in line with the self they've known all along. Make it a big deal if that feels true (and it is a big deal in terms of bravery and access), but it may become just one of many ways you care for yourself. You don't have to cater to those who see it as drastic or an emergency, those who fearmonger or want you to prove you need it. You've done the work, so trust that you are capable of making this decision.

It is your God-given right to make decisions about your body. As Christians, we believe we are called to serve God with those decisions. But God gave us the reins. God gave us all different skills and stories and paths. It is not easy or obvious and sometimes we circle back or regret or repent. God gave us the capacity for those kinds of stories, too. Be human with God—our God who entered into time and space, who participated in our having-a-body-ness, who reconciled the ways his body held him back and the ways he could serve with it. Jesus's relationship with his gender/body/health is not something we're privy to but from other parts of his life we can assume it was a participation in his time and place—a 1st century Jewish man. In the communities you're a part of, with the resources you have, with the identities you have welcomed, how will you be human with him?

I don't know what healthcare is available to you where you are, but a good doctor can tell you the side effects, refer you to counseling as you make choices, give you dose and timeline options. Even if you don't end up going on HRT, seeking out trans-inclusive healthcare and community is a good choice, and I would recommend learning your options. If you can't stop thinking about this, trust that it's worth taking seriously.

I wish you all the best in finding a church/community—there are people equipped to love all of you, and you deserve to find them. I relate with the nocturnal bit—I know Catholics usually have a Saturday night service, and every so often another kind of church will. Online community can fill gaps and give us other ways of connection as we look for physical communion. I wish I could promise affirming religious spaces in every place, but I can only pray and work for that to someday be the case.

So, to answer my lover's question, the travel time to see a loved one is worth it. The journey to the you more full of love is worth it, and the journey to find a spiritual home is worth it. If we are pilgrims on this earth, may the things in our control be done with love, may our journeys be faithful, may our bodies be Christ's body, trusting in the Love greater than anything we can do. How you will be a steward of God's creation is not something I can answer for you, but I believe in your ability to sow the seeds within you. HRT may be the next part of your creation—you can give yourself some time, talk to some people, sit with the idea, consider how you would handle regret, and don't let me tell you what to do, but ultimately there is only one way to know, and waiting until we're sure is stagnation if it is not an active waiting.

To quote my Easter/TDOV post: Come to life, beloved. God sees you. The first steps out of the tomb may be stumbling, the dawn too bright, but we will meet you in the garden, where you were first created. Bring with you whatever is still bleeding—Jesus believes in you, touches the ache in your ribs. Mistake him for a gardener; let him plant you anew. Look to the wound in his side, see how it births the Church, and continues to until there is room for you. Look through the holes in his hands and see the world you were redeemed for, the self that you have already found or may only imagine. God made the grapes, and Christ stands in the winepress with you. Trample out your wine.

And lastly, to turn the patron saint of receiving sacraments presenting as God calls, even unto death, Joan of Arc's affirmation into a command (and purposely quoting an angel in the process): Be not afraid. You were born to do this.

<3 Johanna

[t0mashek]

Mini character guide for my fellow McSpirk fanartists!

I feel like I finally have a satisfying level of muscle memory down for how I draw each of our guys in a recognizable way! My portrayals of Kirk, Spock and Bones aren't usually drawn with a reference, and they definitely don't look all that realistic, but I figure at least one of you out there might like to have a peak into what I do to try and make them recognizable!

Before I show the specific lines I always like to use, I would like to shoutout all the artists out there with same face syndrome. I had very bad same face syndrome before I started drawing Star Trek fanart, the variety of characters in Star Trek REALLY helped me draw better characterizations of people! BUT, if same face syndrome is something you currently struggle with do NOT let it deter you from posting your beautiful art!

Even when drawn with the same basic face structure like I did here, it's still very easy to tell who's who, just with the use of colors, hairstyles and facial lines!

Now, for anyone who is wanting to pinpoint what I try to keep consistent in my drawings of the boys, I highlighted the lines I find most important in my drawings of each of them. I try to keep my style slightly cartoony, so I like to exaggerate!

The roundness of Jim's face is what I always try to make the most pronounced in all of my art of him. The contrast to the harsher angles of the faces of Spock and McCoy is one of my favorite things to include in my art. He has a button nose in combination with those apple cheeks, they're my favorite thing about Jim to overexaggerate!

McCoy on the other hand? Give him his TRIANGLES. I try to go for a much more square face when drawing Bones, but for the lines and features within his face we love our good old friend the triangle. That man's eyebrows are pointy, and I love to give him his mouth lines. I like to balance out the sharper lines I draw on his face with the round lines of his hair.

Spock has the bangs, ears and eyebrows that play a great advantage to us, no other bro serves like Spock. While I love the pointy sideburns on all of the boys, Spocks sideburns help me play into the length of his face. He's got a straighter face and straighter nose compared to his human boyfriends. And while he and Bones both have those handsome mouth lines, you can differentiate the shape of the crease to fit their faces! When I'm drawing McCoy's mouth lines, there's more of an angle, I draw Spock's lines straighter, similar to his face and nose.

I hope this might help some of my fanartist brethren out there! Or at the very least give you a little peak into my art process! If anyone finds this helpful and uses it to draw some art, I'd love to see it! The variety of styles and character potrayals I see in all of the Star Trek fanart I browse on here never fails to warm my heart. These goofy little guys never fail to stand out from one another, no matter how they're drawn, and that is just so special to me.

Live long and draw fanart, little gay people in my computer!!! 💛🩵💙🖖

[miapcain]

I'm in awe of your background work! I know you've posted some WIPs before, but I'd love to know more about how you approach it and what your process is like.

Thank you so much! It's lovely that people appreciate it so much.

I work professionally as an environment artist for games, and I've always liked drawing environments a bit more than characters. A big part of Vesna for me is that I want the setting to be strong and well defined. This maybe characterizes a lot of my work; a university game I directed and produced art for, Rhythm of Triverz, had a LOT of work put into making it feel like a cohesive, real place.

For the comic, I want to convey something similar, which is a medieval setting where sunshine and colour are allowed to coexist along drab stormy ruined castles. I want to depict something the reader can understand as being real and lived in, so I based the main castle on an actual ruin I've fallen in love with, Burgruine Ruttenstein in the Austrian Mühlviertel. I've visited it a couple times and taken hundreds of photos, so I have a lot of reference material. To supplement that, I created a rudimentary 3D mesh of the castle, though I haven't used it a ton so far.

For a more specific example, Franzesca's room is based on an actual room in the ruin's Wohnturm (dwelling tower), including her big stone window seat:

(It's a lot bigger irl)

Most of the backgrounds are drawn freehand. I always do a sketch of every page before doing the inking, and sometimes they're almost identical throughout, but sometimes they change dramatically when I realize it needs more detail or a different value distribution:

I've been drawing long enough that I don't really need to thumbnail much for these. I mostly know what the panels will look like before I draw them, though my execution often leaves something to be desired if you ask me :p

Thank you for the ask!

[blond-jerk-tourney]

Blond Sweetheart Tourney: Round 3, Poll 13

Propaganda from submitters Under Cut

Laios Touden

He cares about his sister so much he was willing to solo a red dragon to rescue her. He doesn't care about money, power, or fame, he just wants to help his sister and learn about monsters. He might seem weird and offputting, but his deepest desire is to find a way for people and monsters to live in peace together to make life better for everyone. One of his biggest faults is he assumes the best of everyone.

Laios is already winning, but I'd like to point out that he's kind despite the fact that pretty much everyone (sometimes including his own party!) treat him with suspicion or outright hostility? It's not just Shuro and Kabru; it's everyone who contemplates what he might do as Lord of the Dungeon, the village kids when he was growing up, Chilchuck repeatedly treating him as an outright threat. Everyone hates Laios, but he doesn't sink to their level.

Louis James Moriarty

Devoted to a fault. Burned his face to prove his loyalty to his brothers. Tries extremely hard to keep not one but *two* mansions in pristine, clean condition with no household staff (well, a gardener an a colonel who dirtiest the London house and will not do chores) because he knows that Albert's OCD requires cleanliness and because it's something "useful" he can do. All he wants is to be useful. Louis is a sweetheart and deserves to be loved forever.

He's exceptionally caring towards his brothers and his "found family"

Louis was a young, orphan boy with a heart condition. Louis lived in an orphanage whose money had been slightly mismanaged and who was rationing food to the kids. A different kid noticed the lack of food, and was still hungry after devouring their plate. They wanted seconds, but there were none. And Louis gave them his plate. His plate of firsts. He didn't even He downplays his literal heart condition so as to not cause his brother, Will, too much worry. He doesn't ask for treatment, or a better lot in life, or anything. He asks to not be left alone. More than anything, that's all he is afraid of: being left alone, even after he lives through surgery as a Victorian child and gets better. So, vote Louis, don't leave him alone. He has us, his fans. Who I am sure he can't even process that we exist, because he's always seeing the good qualities of others instead of himself, and he, like William, deserves our love as well.

VOTE LOUIS‼️‼️ He deserves to go far after his brother got absolutely sweeped 💀

Louis James Moriarty is SO incredibly kind and sweet. He constantly goes out of his way to take care of his brothers. As mentioned in the propaganda, Louis keeps TWO mansions clean for his brother Albert. Louis consistently shows care for his brother William as well. William has fainting spells and falls asleep at random times. Louis is ALWAYS there to make sure that William is okay and taken care of while he's asleep. Louis and William lived on the street for some amount of time as orphans, and during this time, Louis would have to watch over William while he had a sleeping spell. Louis went out of his way to interact with a man that he hates to keep his brother safe. He is so sweet and kind. He constantly goes out of his way for others, especially for his siblings!!

louis, on the other hand, is devoted greatly to his brothers, a great cook, might seem indifferent at times but is actually very sweet. he has had great character development and has gone from living as his brother's shadow to actually living for himself. he keeps two mansions clean because he knows his eldest brother feels frustrated in a disorganised place, is practically the scabbard for the two brothers if one's a shield and the other a sword. see the scar on his face? that's something he willingly did to himself so he could prove his undying loyalty to his brothers and their cause. he must have gone through and felt huge amounts of pain and grief since one brother was allegedly dead and the other was imprisoned. yet he moved on forward with the best of his abilities even though i'm sure he wanted nothing more than to breakdown at times. so, yeah. vote for louis.

[palestaticexchange]

PALE STATIC EXCHANGE... 2!

i said i'd do this again~

Welcome to the Pale Static Exchange... Two!

A few people lamented they weren't able to make sign up for last year, since it was such a short timeframe. I have ~listened~, I have ~learned~ from the first exchange, and ~*HOPEFULLY*~ I have streamlined the experience for you all!

FAQ

ASKS

SIGN UP!

CALENDER

LORE

KOFI

So without further adieu, this is how it's going to work:

Fill in this form to be included in the draw.

The form will be active until the 8th of June 2024, at which point I'll post a link to an incognito draw website (unless results in THIS POLL indicate otherwise!)

Me and @koreplus will message half of you each, letting you know WHO your recipient is as well as their likes/ dislikes

As long as you provide me with a valid Tumblr URL that allows me to tag you then everyone will be tagged on the post when it goes live :)

Access to the likes/ dislikes form will then be distributed..:

The likes/ dislikes form:

When the draw went live last year, a participant - rightly - pointed out that posting a link to a spreadsheet listing everyone's likes/ dislikes may not have been the best idea; since the dislikes section allows participants to list potential triggers.

Since the draw was already live, I rectified this by deleting the post and making the document accessible ONLY through being sent a link. This worked perfectly well last year, however (if somebody wanted to be a grade-A prick) they could have taken that link and posted it anywhere.

I've put a lot of thought into it and come to the conclusion that the only *perfect* solution would be to do the entire draw process myself, then individually message everyone who their recipient is, as well as their likes/ dislikes.

Now.

I'd really rather not have to do that, as it's going to make the entire process a lot more involved on my end; there were 56 participants last year (including myself) and I expect that number to be higher this time around since people have been following this blog in the off-season. I am very depressed and very lazy disabled and work so hard and have no monies.

But for the love of god, frotting, AND communism: I WILL pull my thumb out my ass and do that if people prefer it: Answer a poll!

ANYWAY:

You have until August 1st 2024 to create something; be that art, writing, music, ect. You then post your work and @ tag @ your partner in it! You can also submit it to this blog, however I will try to share everyone's works regardless.

Due to time zones and life in general I'll give a day's grace period, but the cut-off will be August 5th (If you fill in the form then PLEASE do try to create something for your partner, even if it's something small) Obviously things come up, so if it's looking like you won't be able to create something then please get in contact ASAP so that I can sort something out.

[stellar-constellations]

STELLAR IM ON MY KNEES PLS TELL US ABOUT THE ANDREW SERIES IDEAS

I apologize in advance for my ramblings, because I know damn well I'm going to rant. These ideas are not yet complete and could change over time as I try to work out plots and ideas, FEEDBACK IS APPRECIATED AND WANTED!

First thing's first, thank you to my Secret Spy (name is unknown for privacy reasons/to have a cool nickname) who gives me ideas and honest feedback about my work so I can improve. Much love to you. She suffers through A LOT of my obsessive rambles, and she also helps a great deal in ideas for my stories, so I appreciate her help and patience.

First idea: Andrew Graves x Stalker! Cultist! Reader

This was a suggestion brought up by my Secret Spy. It's a huge work in process considering how I'd have to try and write plot purposes with that, but hey, we'll see how it goes, so allow me to explain the (supposed) plot so far.

(Y/N) is a member of the phony cult group "Asinus infirma daemonium clava" (look it up in Latin using this translator, trust me). Due to a contract forged between her parents' and the Fire Demon before her birth. After the death of her parents from supernatural causes, (Y/N) finds herself born with demonic connections to the Fire Demon and grows up inside the cult. Surrounded by phony cultists and the same people her entire life, she finds herself utterly obsessed in love upon meeting Andrew Graves, a seemingly normal guy who just happens to accidentally infiltrate the cult.

(Y/N)'s personality is currently up in the air, but I think I'm leaning towards a confident, morally-grey reader who has a knack for causing destruction and problems.

This is currently a oneshot/fic idea due to many plot holes and a worry that this fic's original plot will be too similar to another idea I have (don't worry, that idea will be written here in this post). FEEDBACK AND SUGGESTIONS FOR THIS IDEA IS HIGHLY ENCOURAGED, let me know what you want to read, and any ideas you have to help expand this into a potential series, or we can keep it a nice and short fic!

Second Idea: Andrew Graves x Greek Goddess! Reader

Due to the nature of this idea, there will be religious themes mentioned, and there will also be tons of inaccuracies and my own takes on Greek Mythology (because Greek Mythology is EVERYWHERE that it would be hard to try and make this accurate). Sorry to my Percy Jackson fans, I've never watched or read the books so the Gods' personalities will be nothing like the PJ series. This was actually an idea I introduced a few months ago, it was actually in a poll against Star Patient! This idea has been recreated with a different plot, but I believe this plot is more enjoyable than the OG's plot.

(Y/N) is the Greek Goddess of Sleep and Visions. For years, she's had her eyes on Andrew Graves, finding his dreams and subconscious desires intriguing to stand out upon the billions of other dreams she's seen throughout her millenniums. She finds herself in the mortal's overworld now, entering a world of advanced technology and terrifying beasts (cars) roaming the streets. While Andrew tries to shield (Y/N) from humanities dangerous flaws (including himself), Ashley finds (Y/N)'s powers more useful than you would expect... finding herself in a world constantly on the run as she evades the police and discovers what living is with the Graves Siblings.

So, the whole road-trip evading the police thing was an idea I had for the Cultist idea, but I decided to ditch it in the Cultist idea because it was far too similar. I figured the idea would fit here more, having an outdated and naive Goddess trying to navigate this new scary world just sounds so adorable!

(Y/N)'s personality is curious, timid, with an almost child-like fascination as she learns to understand the meaning of life, and to cherish it while it lasts. She has a serious need for validation and feeling needed, and all she wants to do is be helpful to the Graves siblings, no matter what she has to do.

This is going to be a fluffy and bittersweet series. I wanted something more wholesome and sweet for Andrew and Ashley because they deserve it after all they've gone through (in the game and in my Star Patient series, ahaha). (Y/N) and Andrew are the only love interests, and Ashley has a pretty healthy and wholesome sister-like relationship with (Y/N).

Third Idea: Andrew Graves x Two-faced! Serial Killer! Reader

As you've probably noticed now, I like making (Y/N) the more... interesting characters. I feel like each (Y/N) helps branch out and creates inclusivity for my readers, because not everyone has the same personality or thought-process, so I wanted all my (Y/N)'s to be unique too!

(Y/N) is Andrew's lovable neighbor next door. She's always willing to lend a hand and has a stellar social image and a great connection with the community. In the day, she works as a waitress in a popular diner and volunteers at pet shelters. At night, she's a ruthless killer stalking the alleyways of the city, with nothing on her mind but how many stabs she can stab a face into disfiguration. She's never cared for romance or love until now, meeting Andrew Graves after he discovers her horrific secret. Now that he knows, she'll have to keep a constant eye on him. Sure, she could kill him, but what's the point of killing such a cute guy without at least playing with him some? Maybe this isn't so much romance, but more so manipulation and power-play, however Andrew slowly seems to let those red flags go and enter a world filled with obsessive love, jealousy, and Stockholm syndrome.

This Andrew doesn't have Ashley as a sibling, making him an introverted, socially-constipated, wallflower with a need of validation.

This (Y/N) is two-faced. To your face, she's bubbly, empathetic, and is the perfect definition of a saint, but if you turn your back for just a second, you might find a knife in it. She has a serious thirst for blood and hearing bones snap (she could potentially be a cannibal, I'm deciding if I want that as a motive or not...)

This going to be a slowburn series.

FEEDBACK AND IDEAS ARE HIGHLY APPRECIATED FOR THIS IDEA!

Fourth Idea: Potential serial killer! Andrew Graves x Journalist! Reader

This idea is the most unstable and wonky one. This idea is under extreme development as I try to figure out what I want to do with this reader and her personality. A poll will eventually be released for this reader's personality and motives.

(Y/N) is a plain and boring woman. You wouldn't notice her in a crowd, much less recognize her face. She's a journalist who specializes in covering true crime cases, and the her hottest case happens to be the quarantined apartment in her city. A thump on her balcony and a door opening leads her to meeting Andrew Graves, who may just be the worst (or best) thing to ever happen in her life. I mean, it's not everyday your hottest crime case drops right into your apartment and begs for a place to stay! Who knew hitmen, cops, and a whole damn demon is following with—okay, what the hell is going on and how does she get her normal life back?!

(Y/N)'s personality is currently unknown. I'm unsure if I want to make her depressed with a thirst of death (hence why she lets Andrew stay, in hopes he'll kill her), or if I want (Y/N) to be a normal girl with an obsessive hobby of true crime and a conspiracy theorist (who wants to keep Andrew around in hopes he'll expose all the case's secrets for her to report). FEEDBACK IS APPRECIATED FOR THIS!

I'm also unsure if I want Andrew to be a paranoid guy trying to hide from the police after killing his sister (yes, he killed his sister), or if I want Andrew to be a cocky, arrogant, serial killer. FEEDBACK IS APPRECIATED FOR THIS!

This is going to be a series. What direction I want it to take is up in the air, but I want action and drama.

These are currently the ideas I have going on. These ideas are excluding current fluffy fics I'm working on, so be on the lookout for those new fics coming out soon! These series will all be in a poll after I finish the Star Patient series, so I won't be holding off Star Patient for these!

SERIOUSLY, Y'ALL. FEEDBACK IS HIGHLY WANTED ON THESE IDEAS. DON'T BE AFRAID TO LEAVE ANONYMOUS COMMENTS IN MY INBOX, OR MESSAGE ME! I WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU GUYS WANNA READ (and as always, if you have your own ideas for fics, please send them in and I'll see what I can do).

[cemetegee]

Ianthe and ADHD...

This post includes a theory that I've never seen so far (on a serious base), but that seems (as the Worst Case of ADHD that's ever lived lol) pretty obvious to me. It's no secret that many of the characters are some sort of neurodiversity-coded and I have seen the ADHD theory for basically almost every cavalier... (I wonder fandom *looking at you* if it's just a coincidence that ADHD is only connected to muscle work and not to bookish necros... Because I fear it's not. I know where that comes from but it's fucking hurting) However, anyway. For this post I have no other choice than to ride on the edge of the knife of text-based character analysis and self-projecting. Have fun! I'd actually LOVE to think what others think of this theory.

1. A Stupefying Deficit of Attention

The certainly most obvious sign in this context is the "Alas. I have a bad personality and a stupefying deficit of attention" quote. At this point is to state that she 1) REALLY shows that she has that deficit of attention, and secondly... well. You could argue that it's just her build up character she plays in the Ianthe-Corona-dynamic. And she is really in many things more a character than a real person. (Ahahdgdggd masking) But! If you'd build up a character that lets your codependent twin shine - and it's a character you'd have to play all the time - wouldn't you choose a role that's easy to play? For example, if you are really unable to concentrate on some things for a longer time, you could just use it as a sign "of your bad personality"? I think I would do it.

(Especially, since claiming things that are out of your control as being villainy is an effective protection from being hurt for them. People will attack the villain you are not, so you don't have to feel hurt and you have chosen this form of attack, because it's okay for you, because you keep your power and... *Ianthe Ianthe Ianthe* control over the situation)

2. Being bitchy

Sorry haha. This point is maybe formulated a bit provocatively - but it fits perfectly because provocation is exactly where I want to go with it. Provocating others gives dopamine and dopamine feels good. Ianthe has in almost every sentence little insultings - and I think it's because it makes talking more interesting to her. And also, it reassures her immediatly about the opinion others have of her. But! There is also another deeper reason. That reason is called vulnerability.

Vulnerability is obviously not a good choice for surviving on the Third. But I think it's especially hard for someone with heavy ADHD. Ianthe's needs have surely *not* been important on the Third. She has pain resistance level over 9000 and can believable pretend to be two necromancers with specialisation on fleshmagic (what's only her *side* discipline). Reaching that is just not possible if you regard and care for your needs. Absolutely impossible. But communicating your needs is - from my experience - especially hard if you're an ""intelectual"" with ADHD. And to understand that, we have to understand something about ADHD:

It's for some reason a hardly killable opinion that people with ADHD are less inteligent at all. That's not true. The total IQ with classical IQ tests is in fact in studies lower, but if you split it you'll see that it's because of some kind of... learning disorder. The working memory and the processing speed are lower and that makes a lower total IQ, but says nothing about the capacity of the mind with ADHD if it has time to think about things (or - from my experience - is relaxed).

And if you have a talent for something... for example - to come back to Ianthe - necromancy people tend to forget or not realise that you need time to think about things. Because... you need in some things maybe less time than them - what's only because your talent for it, your general processing speed is still lower - and so they think you need for all things the time you need for necromantic theorems. Not true.

And that has a strange sideeffect in Ianthe's case. Her talent is obviously "necromancy" and not "talking about her emotions". The generally lower processing speed of her mind (if it had ADHD) would afford time to observe her feelings and then think about what those observations could mean. But nobody - and I bet you too, dear reader - would expect that of her. So everyone would expect an answer immediately. And a true answer is impossible under that circumstances.

When an answer is expected where no answer can be given (yet) without showing a difference between usual souverenity and the need to think about it, it results in just saying anything that comes in mind. Ianthe has that heavily. The best example for it is the bathroom scene:

IANTHE! WHAT IN HELL is that for a reaction?!

This scene is a symbol to me for what I've described before. An overwhelming situation happens (Harrow is hurt and besides of that naked) and Ianthe just says... anything that makes absolutely no sense in that situation. There is literally no resonable reason why you would say that... Except if you have ADHD and say just anything, because you feel like you'd have something to say, but no idea what to say.

And besides of that when the (non neccessary sense-making or real) answer to the question is given, there's no need to think about it anymore. That's obviously not conducive for reflecting your sensations. AND GUESS WHO'S TOTALLY INCABLE OF DEALING WITH THEIR EMOTIONS? HA! HA! 3/3 points and I kiss your heart when your answer is "Ianthe".

I mean, Ianthe is really not good at... not only DEALING with her emotions but also with... recognizing them.

Ianthe... the mysterious reason why you say that is, that you like Harrow and are therefore worried about her. And you're 22 - it's somehow heartbreaking that you don't know that...

And that doesn't only show that I'm right about my point - Ianthe can't express and recognize her feelings, I say because she's never got time to think about them (and also because of: ThirdTM) - but also an other typical sign of ADHD. You say things without intending to say them? Sounds like... as if you had a lack of impulse control.

(Although I've lately wondered - ATTENTION: PRIVATE THOUGHT - if impulse control and less processing speed are not in some way kind of the same thing... Anyway.)

3. Intense Feelings

A thing most people probably wouldn't connect to ADHD are Intense Feelings also known as Emotional Dysregulation. That's - in my opinion, from my personal experience - a very ugly term to describe a very beautiful thing. I'm a very sensitive human. If I read things I like it's a whole-body-experience and I can literally not watch the "classical" type of shows because it's corporally too much. I'd actually wish others to have the same emotional capacity than me. But to come back to Ianthe:

Ianthe is - and please hear me out, it'll make sense, I promise - a very sensitive person. It's absolutely IMPOSSIBLE to speak her Love is Posession speak, without having a huge lot of sentimentalism. She cries herself to sleep every night, what is a sign that she has much pity for herself. (What's fair, I mean, she has lived through a lot of terrible things, like getting an arm cutted off or traveling through the river. Also, nobody else on the Mithraeum would have done that for her.) She is obviously fond of not to say: in love with, Harrow and her logical and immediate conclusion is to think: "OMG, I have to marry her!" (Also, she really is a drama queen in her way lol. I mean: look at her mind-stage!)

(If you'd like to know how a sensitive person as for example Ianthe can do such hard things as she does, you should maybe read my post about her repressed feelings and my post about Corona's suic⛪️de threats :))

If you are a very sensitive person, you always have to pay attention on your, let's call it, overwhelming-level. You have to control how much sensations you're exposed to, otherwise you'll be overwhelmed.

*Chrmm, chrrmmm, control, Ianthe, control, she never can loose the reins.*

Ianthe can in fact never let go her control - her protection - and that could be one reason for it.

4. Zero patience

Ianthe doesn't seem to be a person mit much patience. In fact, it seems always like a fight when Harrow tries to get her attention for something. Here an example:

Ianthe, even if you think The Walking Cytherea could be a side effect of the lobotomy you participated in - you REALLY could hear Harrow out, she seems to be worried... But... Maybe you REALLY can't...

Her patience as limited ressource appears also in the lobotomy chapter. It's a fight to hold it:

I think we can say that Ianthe really has not much patience in these regards (and her urge to be the FIRST Lyctor doesn't speak for much patience either lol - although she maybe has some patience is other regards) and can therefore count as a sign for ADHD.

5. The Villain Syndrome

Ahh, this point I was looking forward to the whole time while making this post. It is, I have to admit, mostly based on my personal experience and observations I've made recently - I have no evidence for it, besides of that it's logical. But I found it too interesting to not mention it.

ADHD is obviously not so "villian coded" in the eyes of the wide society than other neurodiversities are. But that's not exactly what I mean either. My whole post is basically about the fact that common signs of ADHD can be interpreted as being villainly in regard to Ianthe. And that's very important - they are interpreted as purposely being evil (or at least annoying.)

People with ADHD often have problems at school (and maybe at work later), they have a higher probability to get addicted to drugs, they more often do criminal things, and so on - with other words: they are often seen as "system breaker" and delinquents. Because the signs for ADHD are threated as you would do "bad things" on purpose. And you have most likely no support system to avoid that - Ianthe surely hasn't.

I recently listened to a podcast where a guy said something like "In my mind I'm always the evil one - the villain - because that's what the world told me - that I'd be the villain" and I thought it was pretty interesting because I feel the same - without an obvious reason.

And I think if you have ADHD it's not unlikely that you get the idea, that you are *the villain* - especially regarding what I said earlier. Either because people will tell you you'd be evil or because you'll tell yourself that you'd be evil. (I mean, it's surely no coincidence that there is also a connection between ADHD and OCD - what's basically just telling yourself that you'd be responsible for (what means: guilty on) everything.) I call this feel of being the villain The Villain Syndrome.

AND OH MY GOD, IANTHE HAS THE VILLAIN SYNDROME!!! She literally says it herself all the time. "Paint me as the villain", "The outnumbered, overpowered hero against the narcisstic villain"... And she obviously plays the role of the bad twin (even if she's very likely the lessbadtwin). Ianthe, you're not the villain, you have ADHD (and to stop doing things like killing your cav lol.) I genuinly think if you weren't trapped in the TLT universe there'd be hope for you...

(BY THE WAY, I'd love to hear if someone else has experience with The Villain Syndrome or finds themself in my description.)

Conclusion

To conclude: Ianthe very likely has ADHD. That is *THE BIG POINT* I wanted to make. We see it in her stupefying deficit of attention, her "bitchy behavior ;)", her intense feelings, her lack of patience und especially in her villain syndrome. I surely could find more points, but I think that's enough evidence for one post (also, it's the longest post I've ever made and I don't know if there's a word limit for posts :D) I'd LOVE to hear what you think about it, ESPECIALLY if you have ADHD yourself, and... well. Now at the end, I feel remembered of what Ianthe said in a fic I've read recently. It was something like: "I'd like to make a revolutionairy point now, but I fear I don't have one..." So I'll just say: Have a nice day my friendos :)

[matan4il]

please hate me because i praying ceasefire of both sides - realase hostages and free gaza for civilians

Why would I hate you for this message? I'd like to think you have good intentions, and are mostly uninformed about what your message actually means.

The problem is that, as I wrote here, good intentions can lead to real harm, when people don't understand the consequences of their choices, and we're still responsible for the harm we caused, no matter how good are intentions were.

So let's make it clear: It's great to want the hostages free! But that's not enough after Oct 7.

Hamas has violated every ceasefire ever, including the one that was in place until 6:30 in the morning on that day. Its terrorists slaughtered civilians. They raped people of all ages, so brutally that bones were broken. They cut off body parts, breasts off women, genitalia off men, fingers and toes off children. They tied family members together, then burned those captives alive.

These terrorists placed a Jewish baby in an oven, and turned it on. Think about how much that baby must have screamed! It was in pain, and it was helpless, and all it could do to try and stop the physical hurt as it grew worse and worse, was to scream its little lungs out. And up until then, this baby probably thought the world was a good place, because whenever it cried, one of this kid's parents came, and made things better. what was the world to this child as it cried, and cried, and then screamed with every ounce of strength it had, and no one made the pain go away? I don't think I could ever fully process how horrible this baby's death was.

And a Hamas senior said explicitly on Oct 24, that they would continue in the exact same way, and carry out this massacre again, and again, and again...

A ceasefire before Hamas is destroyed means to accept that a massacre like this will happen again. Because no border can contain a genocidal terrorist organization, as Hamas proved on Oct 7. If you didn't understand that this is what it means, that it isn't a simple wish for peace, but a guarantee of another future massacre of innocent civilians, innocent babies, you do know now. And hopefully, you know better than to wish for the future deaths of more people in Israel.

If you don't, if you still wish for a ceasefire while Hamas continues to exist, with no regard for the well being of the people that it designates as it would be victims (which is all Jews, though as we've seen on Oct 7, Hamas will kill non-Jews as well, if they're associated with the Jewish state), then: 1. There is something morally wrong with your stance on this. 2. And you don't have a right to make that wish unless you put yourself in the line of Hamas' fire, by moving to Israel and living right on the border with Hamas, knowing that at any moment, they might breach the border again, and come and do to you, to your loved ones, what they have promised they will do to every last Israeli and Jew.

Lastly, I do wish for the Gazans to be free, just like I wish for the hostages to be released! I have no doubt that the Palestinians in Gaza will never be free, until Hamas is destroyed. If you do pray for Israelis and Gazans alike, you should pray for Hamas to be taken down, for the sake of the innocents on both sides. Then we have a chance at a real peace, not a fake ceasefire, that will for sure be broken.

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

[velvetvexations]

As a trans man who has gone from not supporting to term transandrophobia out of fear and pressure from friends to supporting it and feeling upset about the many ways it affects my life and interpersonal relationships. I am curious to hear perspective from non-transmascs such as yourself or anyone else in the replies (and I would like to hear from any transmascs too about this), what kind of discussions and questions did you come across or ask yourself that made you confront the transandrophobia you might have learned from society? Or even become more aware of how to be an ally to transmascs? Are there any good litmus tests I can use to either filter out transandrophobic people or cause people who care about me but might not think about it enough to question their own biases? Not just a gotcha question about including men in feminism but things that have inspired genuine self reflection on what trans men/mascs face in society and how we can support them. I would really like to hear what the process of unlearning transandrophobia has been like both for trans people who aren’t transmasc and for transmascs unlearning internalized transandrophobia.

(putting this in the tag)

What alerted me to the issue was two transmasc friends coming to me to ask my opinion on some posts as a trans woman. It really makes me doubly angry when people say transmascs have brainwashed me into it, because they came to me in deference and I drew my own conclusion about how fucked up it was.

As for unlearning transandrophobia, I'm not sure. I don't want to say I didn't or don't even now carry unconscious transandrophobia to at least some extent, but I've always been close to so many transmascs and just not at all living on the same plane of reality where people think they're equivalent to cis men in power or mistreat trans women or women in general.

I always desperately want to be corrected when I do or say anything that makes people uncomfortable, and very much want my followers and friends to tell me when that happens. That's nothing specific to transandrophobia, though; it's the same for other races, cultures, etc. and I even recently asked people to watch how I talk about transfem SRS because I was afraid I was getting too hostile about it.

I'd love for other people to chime in with better answers to your questions. <3

[skinks]

JOE. first of all: a reminder that i love you and think you are simply one of the coolest people i know. i hope you're doing well. SECOND: can you talk to me some more about Becoming a Tradeswoman? i have a SERIOUS lack of confidence in my intelligence/brainworthiness/ability, and have always done white(ish) collar work, but. idk. the idea of working at something more practical (idek what it would be) has always kind of hung around the edges of my brain. no idea where i'd start, how i'd even find out whether i'm GOOD at practical work, whether i could hack it...how did you get started?? i remember your farming days, of course - did you just do it as a summer thing to start? how'd you get into it? anyway. whatever you'd like to talk about would be wonderful. you're amazing. OKAY BYE<3

SARAH HELLO!! First of all may I say ilu too and I think you’re rad, I hope you’re doing well also. I’m just working/exercising/watching movies mostly and have begun the process of buying my first flat, so I’m pretty tired but busy and happier for it.

Sorry it took me a minute to reply to this message, I’ve been thinking it over all week as it’s a wide-ranging topic. People’s routes into any type of work will be as varied as the people themselves, but I can share a little of my own experience for sure.

I live in a rural-ish area with a ton of agriculture, so I got into practical work at 16 when my first ever job was helping out on a farm nearby. My parents went to school with the guy who owned the farm, so soon I was earning money for bottle-feeding calves and mucking stalls. Then I moved to a different farm where I got to help with calving and a bunch of other work, including when I first got to operate forklifts and other heavy machinery.

My friends were all either waitressing or babysitting in town , and I was earning nearly double what they were and having a blast doing it without any of the horror stories of customer service. Most of the time I was on my own, left with the meagre responsibility of a lot of heavy lifting, but it made me feel accomplished. I realised I got such a rush from picking up how to operate a piece of machinery and making myself useful, being trusted to complete a task with a definitive outcome I could SEE. So much schoolwork seemed abstract and arbitrary outside of maths/science - even though I loved reading and was great at writing English papers, it frustrated me that success was graded on subjectivity. Maths is definite. Moving haybales from one barn to another until you’re done is definite. I responded to the constant sense of achievement you get from completing practical tasks and seeing your work make a direct impact on the job. It made me feel more powerful and confident, which was a lifesaver as a miserable teenager getting the self-esteem bullied out of me every day.

From there I quit university (once again couldn’t stand the arbitrary un-structured mess that was research and essays) and went back home to work on another farm. Learned how to drive ATVs, hitch horses into carriages, hitch trailers onto cars, cultivate a garden, build fences, wrangle and lamb sheep, etc etc. In my spare time I chased that high of learning a new practical skill through sports; tried archery, skeet shooting, weightlifting, crossfit, etc. I think having a propensity for sport since childhood does help your confidence in practical work, because you’ve already developed your sense of physicality and proprioception. You’re better coordinated, in a nutshell, but it’s not a dealbreaker for someone who’s not sporty.

Basically, every tiny skill I picked up in all my jobs has just built my confidence in my ability to learn a new one, it’s as simple as that. I could drive a car and muck out a stall, so with good teachers I was able to drive a forklift and lay turf, so I was able to then hitch a tractor trailer, so I could then build and fix an electric fence, so I could prune fruit trees, trim hedges, milk cows, dig ditches, build drystone walls, and rig up a mobile generator in the back of a pick-up so I could sand down logs all day.

Your confidence in your ability to learn is the only thing that matters, but you have to give yourself the chance to START learning. Knowing I had learned how to do all those things meant I had enough confidence to apply to an engineering training course at the local trade college. I yearned to learn more skills, to have the access to equipment and training I hadn’t before, honestly, because of that feeling of power. It makes me feel powerful to learn how to weld, how to use all the machines we have at work in order to be a functioning, useful part of a team.

For a long ass time though I felt the way you’ve described; totally lacking in the confidence to do this type of work. I get that, I really do, and I’m gonna tell you I SERIOUSLY doubt you lack the intelligence or ability to do trade work. I know that sounds like platitudes when you haven’t had the chance to even try it yet, but I’m telling you as someone who’s been there and has gotten over that self-doubt hill. You do not lack the ability, you only need the opportunity to try this work and good teachers to help you. If someone belittles you for asking questions when trying to learn something new, they’re a shitlord bastard who doesn’t deserve to be teaching you, and aren’t worth your time.

Can you think of any skill you’ve picked up and now don’t have to think about to complete? Can you drive, or bake, or follow a craft tutorial? Play a videogame? These types of activities require the type of hand-eye coordination, attention to detail, and subconscious adjustment of technique that are the basic building blocks of practical work imo. A forklift control panel or a metalworking lathe look intimidating, until you’ve been shown what to do and are carefully allowed to try it out for yourself a few times to build your confidence.

After that it’s just practice. I find it far, far easier to weld pipes than to… brainstorm initiatives, or whatever it is people do in offices. That’s a question you need to ask yourself with respect to all of this too, like I said before, what type of work brings you the most satisfaction? Do you like the idea of the precision inherently necessary to tool work, or does the black and white nature of it stress you out? Do you like the idea of focusing solely on a task that is literally at your fingertips, that YOUR skill has a direct effect on? If nothing else, the very fact that you wanna try is a great sign!

In terms of where to get experience, I’d say volunteering is your best bet initially.

- national parks or environmental nonprofits. Look for practical volunteering opportunities! my rangering organisation always has path building/invasive species removal/habitat maintenance sessions available to the public, maybe there’s something similar nearby to you that you could try. It’s so fun and rewarding!

- local farms or animal shelters. Ask around, see if anyone is looking for an extra pair of hands. I travelled in NZ Aotearoa using WWOOF, and there are wwoofing farms literally all over the world. the majority of them are geared towards people just looking to help out, you really don’t need to have any practical experience to go wwoofing

- local trade cooperatives. This is a long shot but it is something I’ve seen crop up in bigger cities here. people will set up community workshops where you can go along and make use of the tools and equipment in a more amateur and inclusive environment, and they’ll often run classes. maybe there’s something similar near to you, and it’s a way to try different things to see if something clicks!

- practical toys. Like, model building kits or even construction toys. It’s a small start, but maybe a good one for you to see how you feel about following plans and building something!

- classes, again. I know you said you’re not sure what you’d even wanna try, but if you have the time and the money, could it be worthwhile taking a class or two, just to try something? leather or wood working? blacksmithing? do you like the thought of being inside or outside? Making things or fixing things? heavy lifting or small precision work? All of it?!

I’m not the best at giving advice, but I do believe in the human ability to learn tool usage with proper instruction. Our ancestors could build their own homes and start fires to make clay pots, and they didn’t even have youtube to tell them how to do it. All it really comes down to then is confidence, and you DESERVE confidence.

Why the fuck shouldn’t you learn how to work a trade, or at least try something practical! That’s what life is about, learning new things. Especially since you’ll meet all sorts of cool new people doing it. You’re a kind and intelligent person, and so long as you’re fine with making a mistake or two, owning up to it, and asking for help when you don’t know what you’re doing, you’ll be fine and dandy. I swear it!!!!

[susandsnell]

For the character ask game 4; 8; 21 for Daniel Molloy and 10; 20 for Madeleine Eparvier? If that's too many, just pick which ones you're most interested in obviously :)

Hi anon! Finally sitting down to do these. Thank you for your patience with this, and double thank you for being the first person to ask me things about that old man and that spectacular queen. Let's go! I'll put it under the cut because boy I'm about to get long-winded -- I blame you for giving me so much to work with!

CHARACTER ASK GAME!!! 💫

Daniel Molloy

4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?

You do not want to know the crossovers I've envisioned for this old man. Because of his meta role as the narrator, the messenger, and the archivist of the story, he fits surprisingly well into so many other pieces of media with the premise "what if he was the one investigating/interviewing the survivor". There are many other vampires I'd like him to interview (especially the ones from Tanz Der Vampire), and I'd love to see how a younger Daniel would fare in Fright Night (we all know how The Lost Boys would end for him..). But mostly, final girl that he is, I think he'd rock it in other horror media; the thing that has plagued him and enthralled him all his life. The thing he has begged for and run from. I wonder if The Ring's Rachel Keller was a former student or colleague of his, and if she'd enlist his help with respect to breaking the story on cursed video tapes. I want to see him in a Se7en or Longlegs type of neonoir slasher, sticking his nose where it doesn't belong, and yet coming through when it counts. I think that I would want to personally beat him to death myself for the things he'd say to Dani Ardor (Dan to Dan communication), but he's actually proven himself to be solid at deprogramming someone subjected to intense gaslighting (and very good at ruining relationships, including those that aren't his own!), and if he can keep the insanely misogynistic comments to a minimum for more than five minutes, he might've been able to get her away from the Harga by talking sense.

And finally, in what must make me the greatest parody of myself fathomable, yes, I think Daniel Molloy should investigate and probably write the retrospective on the Black Prom of Stephen King's Carrie. I've frequently joked that for all the addiction trouble, marital and familial trouble, and insanely out of pocket offensive comments, he's a Stephen King author avatar guesting at Manderley or perhaps Wuthering Heights.

But all seriousness, you have Sue Snell, who wrote her own autobiography of the horrific and targic events for which she wound up both scapegoated and disbelieved. Given his nose for the supernatural/preternatural, Daniel would follow where that thread leads and maybe help her find some peace in the process. The two certainly have a lot in common; both did fucking horrible things as a teenager for which they later faced an insanely disproportionate retribution, both have curly hair (usually in Sue's case), both are heavily coded to be repressing queerness leading them to unfulfilling heteronormative relationships/plans for unhappy family life, both take the role of the archivist and messenger to shape the horrors they lived into a narrative - their narrative - before the world will make of it what it will. Both fell in love with their monster(s). Both are fucking SURVIVORS.

(I kind of want to write this now...)

8. What’s something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

Honestly, I don't want to rehash bad discourse from twitter, so I'll just say exaggerating his very apparent flaws to thoughtlessly trigger people in the interest of winning a morality contest in this of all franchises. On the flipside of that, reducing him to his ship with Armand -- I've been very vocal regarding how much I despise the Armand Is Alice theory, and so long as it persists I'll continue. Not because of this or that headcanon, but it's phenomenally misogynistic to erase women we haven't even seen onscreen yet for slash because eewwww no girls allowed. Like what in the circa 2007 misogynistic yaoi livejournal, TJLC ass theory are we doing here. But also because it would be terrible writing. The emotional impact of old Maniel as a character concept is that he's lived a full life, accomplished incredible things, and had relationships that were meaningful and that he also destroyed. He has these things because of Louis' rescue of him and Louis' words, and when they see each other again in 2022, the tangible impact of his great deed are written in every line on Daniel's face. I don't mind 'the Chase happened' truthers at all, but my God, you undercut everything when you suggest that it's Oops, All Armand, meaning Daniel never had a life fully lived and failings and triumphs he carries with him. You also ironically make DM less interesting by making him the only person in Daniel's life of any significance. Just. Take the character as we got him, my god.

21. If you’re a fic writer and have written for this character, what’s your favorite thing to do when you’re writing for this character? What’s something you don’t like?

I have a whole Thing about how I'm a strident feminist who somehow hitched her wagon to this geriatric misogynist, but it is a part of his very distinctive voice, so I do like to dig deep with "what's the thing a man could say that would piss me off the most", and then I run it through the canon content (since his character voice is very particular and distinct), plus some meta works with Eric Bogosian, to see if it fits, sprinkle in some Freak Shit, and bada bing bada boom, we've got our favourite asshole. It's weirdly cathartic in a way? Exorcising demons of shitty men I've dealt with or known of I guess lmao. I would say in sappier moods I like looking for the gentleness and the silver lining underneath the ten layers of Having No Limits, and when I hit on what's tender but still plausible, aka my favourite Daniel moments? No better feeling.

The flipside of this, being what I don't like, is that keeping that voice up is hard and it is a challenge to stay as sharp and ten steps ahead as he is. Need to brush up on some Columbo, I think...

Madeleine Éparvier

10. Could you be best friends with this character?

My heart would really, really, really love to say yes, but my gut and my brain say a definitive no. For one thing, while they make it very, very clear she's not a Collaborator or antisemitic in the slightest, the way her wartime affair came about and her later actions betrays an amorality in those circumstances that I probably wouldn't be able to look past, outsiders though we both may be. I'm also one for obsessive morality-related thoughts in general, so I don't think this would jell especially well with her survivalist mentality. I'm also fluent in French but it's not my first language, so that would likely get on her nerves. And while we'd share an interest in fashion and I'd commend her for her tastes in both clothes and women, I feel like she'd see me as a bootlicker for my legal education lolol.

And most importantly - Madeleine is incredibly mean. It's hot, it's funny, it's sexy, but I am profoundly oversensitive, and she would absolutely make me cry several times lmao. I don't really know if there's any character on this show I'd be able to get along with because everyone is so delightfully awful and also, you know, murderous. But that's why it's fun!

20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn’t matter?

Well, Claudia is her companion and soulmate, so that's the easy answer; they complete each other in a way that no one ever quite has. Two outcasts, two people brutally mistreated in societies to which they were supposed to belong, two women carrying pain and humour and brutality and softness, and growing flowers over the corpses they leave in their wake. She is the X at the end of Claudia's long journey, the reason she doesn't leap in the fire who did not think twice about burning at her side; she is the only one who reads Claudia's diaries with permission. Claudia is her window to the wider world, her rescuer twice-over, and the only person who meets her where she is, in strangeness and violence and joy, in sucking the marrow from the bones you leave behind you.

So...'best friend' is probably a very light way of putting it lolol.

But also? I genuinely think she'd get along with Daniel. Two unapologetic amoral assholes who defiantly faced their past trauma to sacrifice themselves for the one they loved. And they both bully Armand, too!

Thank you so much for this! Apologies again for the length.

[omegastation]

If you could implement anything you desire into the next ME game, what would it be? Could be narrative, gameplay, controls, etc.

Ah!!!!

Honestly the first thing that comes to mind is letting Shepard rest. That would be my main concern. I also think they would make Shepard come back for the wrong reasons, to make the franchise as popular as it was, and I wouldn't like it.

I would also like some kind of shift in the way power is distributed post Reaper Wars, and I want it to make sense. I want the writers to worldbuild as best as they can and come up with something believable because the same old same old just wouldn't work after everything that happened. If there's still a Council, how does it work? I would love for every race to have a representative on it, and if not, they better explain why because the wars changed the dynamics. Prejudices must still exist but I don't think it makes sense to still have the regular old talk of "lesser species".

What kind of other shifts can we think of? If Spectres still exist, do they still have that much power? Are the Volus still having all the financial power? Is there a new seat of power? How does it reflect the multiples races of the galaxy? Would the next version of Avina still look like an asari or would it look completely different?

And really, the krogan are my fav so I might be biased, but I really want them to no longer have to prove they're not how people perceive them to be. I want them living their best lives, full of hope. And hope also means seeing more children and female aliens. Bioware needs to do better with that.

I've liked Mass Effect Andromeda so I do hope there's a follow-up there as well:

WHO WAS THE BENEFACTOR?????!!!!!!

Angara mixing with all alien races in the Milky Way and Andromeda

But after that, since you said anything!!!, I would always love more lore: - If we're talking about "rectifying" stuff, I would say some kind of explanation about Ardat-Yakshi because they didn't have a good handle of that lore. It's way too contradictory. - I would also like a resolution to the dark energy storyline, even if it's just one mission. - More AIs such as EDI or SAM explored. Everything about the way EDI aked questions and chose to prioritize certains things in her life made sense to me, but we can go one step further. Couldn't she design her platform? What about a being like SAM? Wouldn't SAM want their own platform? What does it mean for an AI to have design preferences? Can aesthetics relate to their identity and sense of self? And what does it mean to process things so fast? How do you love in those conditions? And how do the geth will evolve? Would we see new designs for the geth? Will we see more individual geths (from a "we" to a "I") or will we see the opposite? And why do we believe one is better than the other when it's just a different system and way of living and thinking? - More languages lore and especially an explanation about the trade language. Just release a complete guide to your writing system Bioware!!!! It's all over the trilogy so it must mean something. I would also love the same for Khelish - Quarian and geth lore, because those two races always manage to bring something new and interesting and honestly just really poignant. - More homeworld or settled worlds/colonies that we can explore. I think Kahje especially must be something

As far as relationships/friendships/LIs:

more aliens as squad or crew members (including volus, drell, batarians)

a krogan LI would be wonderful

a female drell as squadmate is a special wish for sure

more romance options in general

no hints of an "official" romance because that always backfires. Not only do players resent the hints that they should romance a character, but even the character gets judged for it.

Speaking of a character that gets judged, if Liara is present, I'd love for her to be there but not take center stage. I also don't want a Shepard-obsessed Liara. I want her to be fulfilled and curious and happy.

Regarding the Shadow Broker, I don't think the old version that has terrorized the galaxy so much and spied on its every corner can survive the Reaper Wars unscathed. But it can be replaced by worse things, so who knows?

Thank you for the ask !!!! <3 (and sorry for the long answer, I got way too excited)

Would love to have your own answer anon, or anyone who wants to answer the same question! I'm sure there are many things I forgot.