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thetardisisnotourdivision · 1 year ago

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Anti-Bullying Week

I just found out that apparently it's anti-bullying week and I wanted to say something now, because I know full well that my secondary school will have made a big song and dance about how wonderful their safeguarding system is and how few bullying cases there are in their school.

It's a lie. Bullying is an issue that so few people take as seriously as it should be taken. People die because of this, and I know for certain that I am only alive due to a tiny, tiny coincidence. Bullying is normalised and widespread and not enough is done to stop it.

I lived in fear for five years. I was hated, unanimously, to the point at which I believed - wrongly - that I wouldn't be able to make friends at college. My name was turned into an insult. I was followed home. They would scream at me for their entertainment, both in school and out of it. I was targeted while I was in the Remembrance Parade. They hurt me at prom. I lost friends - two of my oldest friends laughed as I cried. I lost my name. I lost any semblance of safety I ever had. Even now I am living a lie to hide from them, so that they cannot hurt me again. Most of the school joined in. Everyone knew my name, everyone knew that it was ok to be horrible to me and that it didn't make them a worse person, because I didn't count. They would go out of their way to distress me, and then prolong it, "because it's funny" (direct quote), and then gossip about it afterwards. People younger than me, in different year groups, people who didn't even know me would join in. They would invade my privacy wherever possible - a music video I made as coursework was found and spread about, simply because it was mine. They'd hurt my friends, almost like “collateral damage”. They targeted my brother, and I'm scared they'll hurt my sister, too. They'd remind me that they could do whatever they wanted to me. That I had no privacy, where they were concerned. They made fun of my illness. My grades. Anything and everything I did or had or said, no matter how ridiculous. Nobody treated me with any sort of respect, because why should they? It was only me. They would explicitly use terms associated with bullying lightly - once I heard someone say that they wouldn't directly say anything to me, they'd rather "just be a bystander", and that wasn't an isolated incident. By the time I was thirteen I'd realised that if I killed myself, they'd stand and point and laugh at the way I'd died.

Bullying is horrible. When I tried to report what was happening to me, I was ignored, even when I could describe it. By the time I gave up, I just didn't have the words to describe what they were doing anymore, because they were sneaky, they were subtle. I was so terrified that at twelve years old, I taught myself to fight, to defend myself, I taught myself not to react to anything, because at least if I didn't react, it ended quicker. It didn't stop, but it ended quicker - and that was all I could do. Even now, I can remain poker-faced through just about anything - any amount of pain, people screaming in my ear, throwing things at me, shoving me - anything. I learned how to avoid people and stick to the shadows, because that way I was safe. I became cold and violent and vengeful, so that I wouldn't break. I WAS TWELVE. I was twelve years old, and, that summer, I looked at myself in the mirror and realised, “I can't do this anymore. I have to become someone else if I'm going to survive this.”

For a long time, I hated her - I still can't see her as someone who was once me. And now I'm starting to understand that she was so young, and she did the only thing she could, and that she is the reason I am alive today. But I hated her for making me into a monster. I went insane. I hear screaming in my head. I want to burn the people who hurt me - make them fear me, make them feel the pain they put inside me, so that they never hurt me again. But most of all, I'm terrified. I'm terrified of it happening again. My own birth name is a trigger. I can't say it, nor the name of the one who started it all, without having a panic attack. I have flashbacks. I have nightmares. I hide my face in college so that nobody recognises me. And at some point this week, in an assembly, my old headteacher will have stood up and talked about how amazing the anti-bullying system at that school is.

I survived because of one, tiny coincidence. Others weren't, and won't be, so lucky. Because not everyone can switch schools. The other kid in my year who was treated like that did, but I couldn't, and there will be others like me. Please, if there is a “weird kid” in your year, please, please don't make fun of them. The one kid who everyone makes fun of, and hates? Please give them a chance. Their “weird” behaviour is most likely a defence mechanism - I was hostile and cold towards anyone who I didn't explicitly know and trust, because I was afraid. And to everyone who claims to care about victims of bullying, but does shit like this, or condones it, or ignores it - to everyone at my old school, to the teachers who brushed me off, to the people who tortured me because they found it funny - you do not deserve to call yourself human. You are cruel. And if I ever see anyone being treated the way I was, I will not hesitate to hurt you.

Please, please look out for things like this. This is how kids get killed - either by suicide, or killed by bullies. All that bullshit about “what doesn't kill you makes you stronger”, “abuse makes you kind”, “ignore the haters!” - it's a LIE. What doesn't kill you makes you vulnerable and frightened. Abuse makes you harsh and vengeful and furious, and there's no way to ignore people who find delight in your pain.

Not enough people understand this, so please share it - for me, for the kid I was when it all started, for my little sister, who's essentially walking into a lion's den blindfolded soon, for every other kid like me who was ignored and brushed off, for all the kids who died because of bullies - please raise aware of what bullying really is, and how it destroys people.

#bullying tw #anti bullying #anti bullying week #uk politics #uk schools #bullying #mental illness #stigma #signal boost

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healer-pop · 7 months ago

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Hello I'm back I'd like to elaborate on the aphrodisiac thing. I think reader would fight the feeling and be in a sort of pain trying to deny their body's wants. They'd be ashamed to admit what's going on to Sloane and terrified of breaking their friendship but Sloane is SO insistent on knowing what you're exactly feeling, what's got you this way?? Do you need them to take you to a hospital??

When you finally grimace out that you think the flower, was an aphrodisiac. And you're feeling crazy strange, they ask if there's anything they can do to help. You practically shake at the thought but deny them, again and again. They keep asking if you're sure, because they want to help. Only if you want it. And you sit there, biting back all these mounting emotions, swirling into a statement. You really have to concentrate to even get across what you want to say, thinking closely. "Sloane...I want you to help- please believe me. But. I don't want to fuck this up. Us up. I love you so much." A weak groan leaving your lips while your eyebrows furrow. Sweat is trickling down the slide of your head, your throat bobbing while you prepare to speak again. Reaching out to put a hand on theirs you say, "I just need you to know that..." another wave of pain hits you mid sentence, causing a small groan. "Know that I want us more than this. I... need you more than this. You can say no and we can pretend this never happened but things won't be the same if you do." You can barely make eye contact with them, fear strikes through you as your thoughts race.

"God, you pinky swear?" They say, looking at you in all seriousness. Pinky swears were- indeed serious business. Being their friend for so long, you once joked that you can never lie when pinky swearing, and it's now become type of Safeword. Just one where you have to be honest, instead of "Oh that sounds fun..." when they don't sound enthused, you make them pinky swear they're telling the truth and usually they crumble and tell you how they really feel. It was a great communication tool for you both, especially since sometimes it can be hard for u to read them, and vice versa.

"Pinky swear." You say wrapping your pinky around theirs while staring at them with earnest. It's what that needed to finally except the months of touches, flirting, winking, looks, texts, invites. The little stares, the movie nights, the cuddling...it meant more and they knew it did, they were just too scared to break it. To break the tension, to ruin what was happening.

Ok I thought of the pinky swear on the spot if you thought it was silly please ignore me but I thought something really meaningful to their friendship would help. Ok bye

ANONNNNNNNN YOU POPPED OFF IN MY INBOX??????????? JESUS GIVING ME HEART PALPATIONS

I just want to say, that scene is so good, but I want to add something. A little... ✨ sparkle ✨.

Don't think about the touches, the casual ones, the ones that don't mean anything, yet, but still mean so much in the moment. Where you're shaking with unadulterated strain, arousal leaking down your thigh at the closeness of everything you want, but can't have, the wet feeling so cold, but you know it's not, your body is burning, blistering with fever, throbbing with need, but shivering with pain, Venture drops the phone, Lifeweaver's voice shouting through the receiver in concern. Venture had to contact him, didn't know what else to do, this wasn't their area of expertise, but he's forgotten, dropped, and lost among the many pillows and blankets Venture had shoved into your tent at the first sight of illness. Venture grips you, grips one of your hands in theirs, making you arch at the contact, but they can't bring themselves to let go. You had heard what Lifeweaver said. Some sort of flower that would cause pain if its symptoms weren't treated, and of course, of fucking course they'd have to be lust. Venture would have to fuck you. Even now, with every new course of ache, sharp, stinging pain through you, Venture's eyes were on nothing but you, filled with concern, almost as if they wished to share the pain, helplessly scanning your body for something they could do. It made the tears in your eyes overflow with love, with pure, utter affection at the sweetness. You have to shut them, overtaken by everything. Another hand moves to your thigh, you can't see it, but GOD, can you feel it. It's like another shock of pleasure to your brain, making you yelp, and they try to soothe you, with whispered hushes, and mumbled words of reassurance, but it's throttled and broken, Venture is just as worried as you are but is trying to be strong, trying for you...

You grab their hand back as you speak, trying to convey just how much they mean to you, hoping your words come out as clearly as they feel in your heart. You don't have to, you mean more to me than anything that would ruin this. You're so much more.

"God, you pinky swear?" And their voice... their voice sounds like its on the verge of hysteria. Good? Bad? It's confused, breathless, and- and happy?, and scared, all at once. A concoction of some poison, that goes straight between your thighs, hoping this figment doesn't kill as it travels down your throat.

As you manage to wrap your pinky around theirs, with a trembling hand...

The mirror shatters.

#𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ messages from the red string of fate #🌸 my aphrodite anon

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nd-babblinggoblinfromthevoid · 7 months ago

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Seeing some other users pop up who also have pots, and reading their past and current struggles has inspired me to write a little about my experience. (From what I remember anyway.)

Just in case, tw/cw pregnancy loss is mentioned.

My symptoms started right smack at 13. I had always been slightly heat sensitive but not enough to really think about it. Then I turned 13 and it was like I was burning constantly. But also, even when I was hot, my extremities would still sometimes be ice cold.

I fainted in the shower, daily. I almost always felt it coming beforehand. The sudden dizziness and weakness. It was my normal routine to feel that, lie down, black out, wake up, then resume my shower. (Usually 5-15 minute black outs)

I knew something was wrong, but I was a young teen. My thoughts were "too scared to address it" and "I'm just being a baby" and "What doctor is gonna believe a teenager these days". So I suffered through it.

It was horrible. My teen years were riddled with unnoticed tachycardic episodes brushed off as "you're out of shape" and "just push past it". Meanwhile i felt like i was dying.

I know teenagers biologically need more rest, but i was chronically fatigued and of course, "lazy teenager" label got thrown at me constantly. I tried to stay active, productive, but it got harder and harder. (Not knowing I also struggled bcuz of audhd but that subject is touched on in a previous post.)

When I really branched out into life and into the workplace at 18/19, it hit me that this wasn't going away. This wasn't a weird teenage thing i was experiencing.

I could work, but was significantly more exhausted than my coworkers and the only one ever to stop a lot, Cool down, rest. Drove managers nuts because "you're too young to be this way" was said to me constantly.

Through a few job changes in my early twenties it got harder and harder to work. Exhaustion. Overheating. Tachycardia. I fainted at work idk how many times during a really bad streak.

On top of pots brain fog, I'm audhd (which i didnt know until mid-late twenties) so my brain just doesn't brain for me and all I had going for me were labor jobs. That's all i had. That's all i knew i could do.... and i was slowly becoming unable to do that.

I didnt push to see a cardiologist until i got pregnant with my first child. I was terrified. That pregnancy exacerbated my pots and i thought that pregnancy was going to kill me. If it didnt, then giving birth would. My resting hr was regularly in the 140s/150s and i was fainting/near fainting all the time.

But i saw a dick of a cardiologist who nearly immediately dismissed me as a hysterical pregnant woman who just had anxiety. Even in our first consult appointment he was already very not hiding the fact that he wasn't taking my concerns seriously. Even after I told him these symptoms weren't just popping up during pregnancy. That it'd been most of my life. (In one ear out the other let me tell you)

I suffered horribly through that pregnancy not knowing i also had pots so my heartrate and blood pressure were bonkers whenever i went to appointments, not knowing that i only had high bp bcuz they'd check it after I'd sat down in the lobby, stood up, then immediately sat down in a room. Which as y'all know fucks hr/bp and all that without being pregnant. But we didn't know. And the only dr I'd seen, dismissed me.

I thankfully got through the pregnancy and all was well. My symptoms went back to pre-pregnancy intensity. Life, a loss in between, and another full pregnancy happened. This time my pots didn't overly act up. I only struggled bcuz that baby was a biggg one.

After recovering from my 2nd birth i thought for months about everything. My health. My life with my kids. How i was sick of not having answers. Sick of how that first dr treated me. So i told my primary all of this and she sent me to the same heart institute, but a different dr.

NOW THIS DR LET ME TELL YOU.

From the GETGO the vibe was different. He listened. Talked with/to me not AT me. Actually listened with the intention of listening and absorbing the information, not listening with the intent to say whatever he was already wanting to say and just waiting until i stopped talking (like the previous dr)

He took me seriously. After info dumping my 16 years of suffering he was already ready to get testing done and scheduled and i nearly cried when he left the room because HE LISTENED HE TOOK ME SERIOUSLY.

I had my testing done (tilt and breathing) and he saw me for the followup but they hadnt gotten the results back so he pushed the dept for the results and one hour after that appointment, he called me and said basically "yea you failed the test almost immediately and your results were consistent through the whole thing so I'm proceeding with the diagnosis of pots"

He explained the basic no cure but you can try xyz to help and you need to listen to your body when it's having symptoms dont ignore it to your detriment. All that.

I hung up. And cried all evening/night. Happy tears. Tears of relief. I got my answer. I was listened to. I actually got through it. But also tears of grief. For the girl who suffered. For the young woman who thought she was gonna die during pregnancy/birth.

I'd had (and still slip into sometimes) a harsh mindset of self hate for years. Why am i so lazy. Why am i so weak. Pathetic. Etc. It just spiralled all the time and pots + audhd is a shitty mix and to be approaching 30, with answers I've wanted and needed for half of my life.... I just... uff da! It's a lot.

I was diagnosed February of this year. So it's still kind of fresh for me. I'm still trying to find what works for me officially to navigate it. But I definitely am trying to give myself grace for all the years I thought everything was my fault. Or that I just wasnt trying hard enough.

I'm sure I've missed some things but my memory of my life is really patchy from audhd and trauma. But I think this covers the bulk of it and feels good to info dump about life when, for most of it, I bottled everything.

#long post #sort of vent post #journal #experience #life #life with pots #pots experience #pots syndrome #pots and pregnancy #tw loss mentioned #cw loss mentioned

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cumulohimbus · 1 year ago

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Life Updates

This last weekend I went to a Pride fest a little over an hour away, and wild things ensued.

1. I ran into some friends I met at my local pride this last summer, and even though it took a second for us to recognize each other, it was phenomenal to see them. I ended up staying the night at their place (I'll get to why in a sec).

2. I ran into people I went to Catholic elementary/middle school with. They were running an art booth. It was cool to reconnect with people I'd shared a formative childhood experience with and not be the only one who ended up queer.

3. I ran into my now retired therapist, the one who helped me pursue an autism eval and who wrote the pivotal letter that allowed me to get top surgery. I gave him a hug. I'd only ever interacted with him virtually and he is much taller in person. He seems like he's happy and doing well.

4. I didn't see any furries about so I took it upon myself to don my mascot head, just to gauge the reaction. A lot of people came up to me and got pictures with me, including a mom and her kid who really loves furries. I don't even consider myself a furry; like, I don't participate in the community at all anymore. I just think my fursuit head turned out vvv cute, and I didn't spend around 2 years making it from scratch for it to just collect dust in a closet somewhere. It made me really happy that other people also thought it was cute. It was nice being Spark for a while.

5. I went to a drag show with my friends from the local Pride. We were in the front row. It was so cool to see professionals performing.

6. My friends and I went to an after party at a club. I'd never been to a club before and didn't know what to expect. It wasn't nearly as scary as I thought it would be until the end when the establishment closed and the cops were outside directing folks. While there I ran into someone I was in the Arts Magnet Program with in high school; they were there for their sister-in-law. They told me that whenever I'm ready, other former classmates would probably like to hear from me, and that they'd probably be more accepting of me than I realize.

I didn't achieve my goal of being kissed, but that's okay. I fell in love with my friends in more ways than I care to admit. Nothing more will come of it than friendship, and that's okay too. That's what I needed tbh. I realized the full extent of my loneliness and how badly I need friends right now. I didn't know how bad it was and now that I do, hopefully I can do something about it. I cried a lot, probably because I was more drunk than I've been in years. My friends let me stay at their apartment so I didn't have to sleep in my car.

7. The next day we went to a garden and saw lots of pretty plants and fountains, including the biggest, bluest Larkspurs I've ever seen in person before!!

8. I cried for approximately half of my drive back home. I probably should have pulled over, but I was running on less than an hour of sleep, and I had grad school homework I needed to finish before midnight, so I pushed through. I realized goodbyes have been getting harder. A couple of weekends ago when I visited college friends for the weekend, I cried for a long time on my drive home then too. It seems it didn't take long of being off T for my tear ducts to function again. Something else is wrong with me though, I shouldn't be crying so much over goodbyes; I have my suspicions. I'm sure a particular goodbye that happened more recently isn't helping, but mostly I think I just feel alienated from people like me where I live currently.

I need to get a new vehicle soon so I can travel more. I want to go on dates, both casual and serious, in the near future. I want to kiss and be kissed, if just to feel like I'm alive. I wish I wasn't a terrified kid in a 25 year old's body. I feel like I can't be taken seriously when it comes to romance because of the ways my trauma has broken me into the person I am today (tbf, being transmasc means I look like a 14 year old boy, so that doesn't help the whole maturity thing either).

I'm coming to terms with how much grief I carry with me everyday. I think that's the most alienating part of it all; I think that's where all the loneliness comes from.

Sadness aside, I really like grad school so far. It doesn't feel hard yet because it's all stuff that interests me. I also got a really nice scholarship package for my first year and that's pretty cool. I'll finally feel alright ordering the print copies of my book, Fidelity to share with friends/family. The sequel, Autonomy, is currently in the works. They're both basically zines that ended up being lengthier than initially intended, and they include a mix of poetry, prose, and photography. I know I don't really have a following here, but if it just so happens that you read all the way to this sentence, if you'd like a free pdf of Fidelity, hmu, I'd be happy to send one your way.

Be kind to yourselves, and stay curious,

-Lark

#the larkchive

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demodraws0606 · 5 months ago

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I've realised no one in my life really has taken my feelings seriously, like fucking no one.

I feel like I could say anything, hint at anything and it'd just be a couple "don't worry about it" "i hope you're okay" or "just take your mind off it !" and i guess that's it.

Because I'm just exagerating, because they know I don't really mean it when I say I'm gonna do something because I'm too much of a coward. And the worst part is that they're kind of right.

I've lived my entire life crying my eyes out and having my parents and school chastize me for it, because I did it too often and I'd just "cry at anything".

The only reason I cried was because my friends at the time when I was young would constantly stop being friends with me and I was terrified of losing my friends.

My parents aren't even willing to do the effort to inform themselves about a therapy because well...the risk isn't worth the reward. I'm not sick enough for a therapist, they'd just trick me and make me worse.

I don't have real life problems either, so my everyone around me can just wait until my tamper tantrum is over and I can go back to normal so I can stop being such a fucking bummer.

In fact the reason I'm like this is because I feel like the world is fucking ending and everyone I love is in danger, but if they're fine I should be fine right ? I should just suck it up and not worry about them because everything will be fine and nothing is gonna happen.

I'm a terrible person because I know it's unfair to have other people do the emotional work for me but I feel like I'm just not treated like everyone else, I feel like if it was someone else saying those things it would be instant worry.

I shouldn't expect people to just reach out to me, I just need to ask for help but when I do that it feels like I'm just making it an obligation. So I just grit my teeth and smile and saying I'm fine when they talk because I know reaching out doesn't do anything. They can't help me or comfort me.

Everytime I do reach out, I make the effort to finally say something, things always just go back to the status quo, nothing changes. It makes me want to do something extreme or say something extreme, so they just could fucking understand.

But at this point I feel like if I told anyone, that for exemple, I did self harm multiple times with a razor not a while ago, not even that would make a difference. Because I mean I stopped right, and it's not like the scars are still there so it really just doesn't even make a difference. Even though I didn't tell this to anyone because I didn't want to make them actually worry about me. I don't think any of it really makes a difference.

And if I do get what I want, I just know all it will do is make them miserable. I don't want them to feel about me, the same way I feel about everyone around me, like there's a counter constantly ticking down.

I don't want to bring people down with me, I just want some hope, not anything dismissing like "oh just don't worry about it" or "it'll be fine". I just want to know that even if the worst happens, and it will happen, they'll be there for me and they'll be safe. That they'll be there for me but also that they'll be happy as well.

It's funny how angry sounding the first half was and it all just kinda melted into me just being sad, that's kind of just how it always goes huh.

Putting my dirty laundry on Tumblr like this is really not a good look but I just needed to say this somewhere.

#tw vent #tw self harm #vent #tw depressing thoughts #any anger that is in this post isn't really logically what i think #i mean i do have those feelings but #i know its no one's fault #just felt like i needed to say that

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ampedupkaon · 10 months ago

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World of our own chapter 14 (Last)

Title: It's enough for this restless warrior, just to be with you

He... he loves me? Me? No... he's just kidding. Like he normally does. He can't... he can't love me. I'm too reckless. I always get him into trouble. He takes care of me... because I can't take care of myself.

“You're... you're kidding aren't you. Like you normally do.” He looked hurt by her comment.

“I'm not... why would you even think I'd joke about this?” She shivered; knowing how to answer that.

“Because you always did...”

“I'd never joke about... my feelings. You always got angry with me for suggesting romantic things... so I pretended I was kidding whenever I...” Her eyes widened and she felt heat rush to her cheeks. He... he'd seriously wanted to flit off with Meliodas 3000 years ago? He... wanted her all prettied up?

“I love you. And I'll say it as many times as it takes for you to realise I'm serious.” She shook her head, trying to process that. He loved her. Monspeet loved her. She... wasn't sure what to do with that. She... needed to think about it. And work out if she returned his feelings.

“I... I can't deal with this right now.” She stood up, heading for the door.

“Derieri? Did... have I upset you?” She wondered where he'd get that silly idea.

“I need to think about things.” She told him, continuing to head for the door. Only once it was closed behind her did she start running. She was sure she heard an annoyed shout of 'damn it!' from inside the barn as she fled. She'd admit it to herself that she was running away. From his feelings or her own she wasn't sure. She was in the woods when she stopped for a moment. She headed for the stream; knowing it wasn't far. She settled on the bank of the stream, dipping a toe in the water. She jolted; the water was cold. She forced her feet into the stream, letting the feel of the water rushing around her legs calm her. It worked, until she remembered why she was out there in the first place.

Monspeet loves me. Do... do I love him? Derieri wondered. She hadn't the first clue what 'love' was; apart from one of the commandments. She had no idea how he knew he loved her. How it wasn't just a desire to protect her, or something like that. He was her guardian. He kept her safe. He looked after her. He held her hand. He cuddled her. They... cuddled in bed. Annie had told her that was what couples did.

We've always slept together like that though. Curled around each other, keeping each other safe. She thought. She then tried to imagine not having that; not having him cuddling her while she was asleep... No. It wouldn't... it wouldn't feel right. She realised. She needed him.

You think he's hot too. You've saw him naked and you liked what you saw. She shook herself, darkness hand splashing her face with water. She did not need the image of him naked in her head right now. But... the thoughts were right. She found him attractive.

You feel warm and happy when he cuddles you too. She worked out, remembering how she'd felt when they'd watched the sunset together. And when they'd been stargazing. Him holding her in his arms, keeping her warm. Her cheeks went red, realising that she wondered how it might feel to kiss him.

What he said... do you feel the same way? She went over what he'd said before getting to the point. Did... was her life brighter because he was there with her? Did he complete her? Did he mean the world to her? Would her life be missing something if he wasn't there?

Yes. All of the answers are yes. She knew her heart started racing. His point after saying all of those things was that he loved her. Derieri's flesh hand moved to cover her heart, it pounding under the skin.

“I... I love him. I love Monspeet!” She said a little too loudly. She covered her mouth, cheeks going crimson. She then realised she had to tell him that. That she returned his feelings; she loved him too. The thought terrified her. She waited another moment in the stream, focusing on the cold water washing over her feet. She shivered, climbing out. That was enough cold water; it had started making her feet a little numb. She did a little exercising on the spot to warm up again then made her way slowly back to the barn. Their home. Her heart fluttered at the thought and she pushed down the feeling.

You ain't going soft. That's enough mushy stuff. She chastised herself, before continuing on her walk. A few of the villagers gave her a dirty look but didn't say anything. They must have remembered Annie telling them off. Good. Derieri thought. Being ignored was much better than being shouted at if she was walking anywhere. She headed up the trail to their home. She wasn't surprised when he was waiting for her outside the door. He looked frightened, of what she wasn't sure.

“You... you came back.” Monspeet whispered. Derieri only just heard him. She didn't say anything, instead making her way over to him.

“I'm... sorry I overwhelmed you. I shouldn't have said all of that like that...” She ignored him, making her way closer. She knew what she was going to do. She'd been curious and she was going to slake that curiosity.

“But... I refuse to apologise for feeling the way I do. If you can't return my feelings that's fine; I don't expect you to. But I need you to...” She stopped his words by putting her lips to his. His lips were soft and she liked the feel of them against hers. He wasn't kissing back... but she figured that was because she surprised him. Her lips kept pressing against his, waiting for him to reciprocate. She felt a shy brush of lips and heat shot down her spine. He was kissing back! The kisses turned hotter quickly, their tongues nervously probing into each other's mouth. She drew back first, seeing him turning a soft look on her.

“Am I dreaming? Did you just... did we kiss?” He sounded giddy and she found herself smiling. Though... she did have to convince him he wasn't dreaming. She swatted his cheek. She got a yelp and winced at the red mark on his cheek from the hit. She leaned in and brushed her lips to the mark.

“You're not dreaming. I... I kissed you.” Her cheeks turned crimson; because she realised she had just walked right up to him and kissed him.

“Why did you...? You didn't have to do that.” I really did. I had to kiss you; I couldn't have you thinking I wasn't interested. She thought, forcing the words out.

“I did that because...” She took a deep breath, pushing down the nerves.

“I love you too. I just needed to work out what I was feeling.” She scratched the back of her head. He looked relieved by her words. Monspeet leaned in, like he'd done yesterday. Derieri had the slightly nervous thought of What if someone sees? She then pushed that thought away, her head now saying Let them look. He's mine. Her heart started pounding, but she leaned in like he had too. He closed the distance this time, their lips meeting in another hot kiss.

XxX

Annie had got herself sorted, collected some things for her friends and headed out. She made sure to greet the villagers she saw.

“Are you going to that new couple's place?” She grinned when the woman she'd just greeted asked that, nodding in answer.

“I saw the girl out this morning. Looked like she'd been splashing in the stream. Not sure if her fella was up or if he was still in bed.” Annie figured Derieri's 'fella' probably was up. He was probably sitting by the fire thinking about things again. She thanked the woman for her help and headed up to the barn. She quickly found her two friends outside the door. Locked at the lips. She started doing a little happy dance on the spot instead; not wanting to disturb the moment. If her friends were kissing it meant that he'd finally said something. There was a string of spit joining them when they pulled back. Both of them were smiling, seemingly oblivious to their audience.

“Morning you two!” She said loudly, making them both jump. They looked nervously at her.

“Morning Annie.” Monspeet responded.

“How long you been there?” Derieri asked.

“Long enough to see the two of you smooching up a storm!” She giggled when both of them blushed.

“You saw that huh?” Derieri scratched the back of her head.

“Yeah I did. Guess you finally talked to him.” The other girl made an affirmative noise.

“What did he tell you?” Annie asked. He shuffled closer to the ginger girl, before brushing his lips to her cheek. Annie squeaked; because that was adorable.

“I... I told her that I love her.” That then made another question form. Did she love him back? Yes from that kiss! Wow!

“She love you too?” Derieri made another affirmative noise and Annie squealed.

“So... does that mean you're courting now?”

“Not 'til he asks me.” The other girl told her. Annie gave him an expectant look.

“And I'm not asking while I've got an audience.”

“Don't take too long. Or I'll ask you; in the most public place possible.” She had to laugh at the scandalised look this got from Monspeet.

“You wouldn't dare.” Derieri's expression said 'try me'. He quickly backed down, deciding obviously that he didn't care if Annie saw. She felt her heart start racing when he knelt down in front of the ginger girl; his hands clasping her left hand. It looked like a marriage proposal.

“Derieri, you know I love you. With all of my heart. Would you make me the happiest demon alive and let me court you?” She saw the ginger girl pretending to think about it; just because she knew it was making him squirm.

“Alright. I'll court you. Now get up here and seal it with a kiss.” She bit her lip so she didn't laugh at how quickly Monspeet stood up and kissed Derieri. This kiss was short, but sweet. Annie figured the two of them were conscious of the fact they had an audience.

“Congratulations!” She told them when they'd turned to look at her.

“Thank you.”

“Yeah, thanks.” Both of them told her.

“Would you like to join us for breakfast?” He asked her. She knew she'd already had breakfast; but decided she wouldn't mind spending a little time with her two friends. Who had finally realised that they were meant to be a couple.

“I'd love to.” She told them, following them inside.

AN: This chapter's title is from 'Can You Feel The Love Tonight?' by Elton John (and Derieri is the one who would actually say it). This has been great fun to write (and I've been smiling the whole time). I hope you all enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!

#seven deadly sins #nanatsu no taizai #monspeet #derieri #monderi #my fanfiction

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maggicktouched · 1 year ago

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"I once met a guy who was part of a research team for my ex. He swore he'd been to another version of Earth, but that the people were almost completely wiped out by--god this sounds so stupid--by aliens. He was terrified that they'd come here one day, and spent every waking second that he wasn't doing research for Harper, doing research on little green men and other worlds or whatever." It sounded so stupid to say out loud. She wasn't normally a skeptic, but the possibility had sounded absurd even to her. She'd written him off as one of those brilliant crazy people. Apparently she owed him an apology. She shrugged "That's the only one I've ever met in person though."

Like any self respecting witch, Beck didn't worship any gods, and if the universe was choosing to send someone to help her now, it was about twenty-some-odd years late. Either this woman had been brought here by someone or something for some nefarious purpose, or this while debacle was a fluke. She hadn't needed anyone's help, and she didn't know how to accept it even now as it was offered.

But she was going to have to try. This was way over her head.

"It's not that simple." She said, drumming her fingers on her leg and seriously debating just what to say. "These aren't just my secrets. And it's not just me on the line if you decide to run your mouth. This is the kinda thing that once you hear it, you're in it. There's no backing out."

Beck glanced around, just to make sure no one was close enough to overhear, and then looked back at Dana.

"I work for an organization called the Sisters. They do a lot of stuff, and I don't ask a lot of questions, but its made up from all kinds of people. Witches, werewolves, humans, even some vampires. Years ago I was in a bad place, and I---I just couldn't live like that anymore. I tried to off myself and somehow I wound up in a human hospital. The woman there was a member and she offered to get me out of my brother's house. To get me clean. I accepted. They didn't ask me to stay and help, but I offered. Now and again I get a message. It just has a few basic things: name, location, safehouse information. Domestic violence situations, mostly. The kids or spouses no one believes because their abusers have power and money. Kids like me. Most recently I got a call about a high ranking member of the FBI throwing around his wife and three kids. She tried to go through official channels a year ago, but no one listened. The Sisters made contact, but the first person they put on the job lacked my---talents. They got caught, and they both wound up dead. Mysterious accidents. So they called me to come get the kids. And I did, but the cops got too close. I had two choices: get caught and buy time, or bolt and let them catch up to the kids... you can obviously see what I chose. And you can see why I can't just come clean. Because I did take those kids. I'd fucking take them again before I let them go back to someone who would put their hands on a child. And no one will ever believe me, or you, or anyone else. So the plan is to play dumb and count on the fact that they will never, ever have proof. And if they did, they wouldn't even believe it."

“To be honest, I’ve never seen alternate realities and parallel universes as anything more than scientific theory,” Scully admitted. “Something which works better on the page than it does in reality.” And she certainly didn’t have any idea as to how she ended up here; there had been no signs, no warning, she hadn’t felt a change, and this world was so similar to her own one that it was practically impossible to determine at what point she had ended up here. Had it been from the moment she woke up? Or when she answered the phone to Mulder? Or when she’d arrived at the Hoover building? And if she didn’t know when and where it had happened, how was she supposed to go back?

“You know people this has happened to?” She asked. “Or you’ve simply heard stories?” The former would be actually helpful, whereas the latter was no better than reading fairy tales and urban legends.

Smiling a little at the sarcasm, Scully instinctively knocked her shoulder against Beck’s playfully, laughing a little. “I don’t know; I think maybe it was the right time. Maybe the universe, God, knew that you needed help and thought I was the one that could do that.” After all if she hadn’t been there, if she hadn’t recognised Beck, she would still be in there, possibly arrested, and charged for crimes she couldn’t possibly have committed.....could she? Scully looked at Beck and wondered if this version of her daughter, the one from this world, was capable of those crimes, but she couldn’t believe it. The story may be complicated, but she didn’t think her daughter was capable of hurting children in any universe, no matter the circumstance.

“Well, firstly, you haven’t fled custody; you were taken from the building by a member of the bureau, and while you’re with me, you’ll still technically in custody,” Scully pointed out. “But the only way I can help you is if you tell me everything. Running won’t help you, and my Beck wouldn’t back down from a fight; I have to believe there’s something in you that’s the same, that wants to fix this properly rather than just running.”

She shifted a little where they were sat so she could look at Beck properly. "So tell me exactly what were you doing, and who were you dealing with? What happened for them to charge you with these crimes?"

#ladiesandwitches

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the-final-sif · 3 years ago

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What do you think would happen if the two c!Dreams from your and theminesbecraftin's Eldritch AUs switched places for a bit? Hypothetically speaking? 👀

Oh I love @theminesbecraftin Eldritch AU!

Hmm, so I feel like my Eldritch c!Dream is a bit confused, but entirely on board. He's fully aware something has changed, but he's not too worried about it. XD would probably notice something was up? Like, it'd really be a test of powers, as XD is a god, but so is my c!Dream by all rights. Not sure if XD would care though, at least at first, since he might not realize exactly what my c!Dream is. Due to the mask and everything, he would have mostly human vibes. I'm also not sure how much XD would realize the sudden personality change is Not Just His Therapy Arc Working.

c!Quackity and c!Sam are going to be incredibly freaked out by the sudden change in personality. They're sure it's a ploy, but it also can't be. Dream stopped flinching, he stopped avoiding them. He's not bothered at all by the presence of weapons and he's actively trying to move closer to them (more so Quackity then Sam).

At some point, Quackity loses his temper and tells Dream he ought to leave. Dream, saddened but wanting to respect his friends wishes, does. He goes to find c!Sapnap instead. Dude just walks out. Only after giving Quackity a kicked puppy look first though. Somehow. Through his mask.

Quackity and Sam lose their shit, trying to figure out if Dream could do that the entire time and was just fucking with them. This would be the point where XD would likely get pissed off too, and realize something was seriously wrong. Then he'd have to work on fixing the universe while everyone else outside freaks out about Dream suddenly returning and being Chill.

Meanwhile, and I'm less sure about this, I feel like craft's AU c!Dream would be relieved to be out of the Really Bad Therapy Room. But, it'd be extremely obvious to him and to the people around him that something was wrong. He's got the brain cell, so he knows to withhold information about himself to avoid hostile reactions. While the others might get a hint that he's Not Well Mentally, and obviously he's not physically well, I don't think any of them would be willing to push.

The biggest thing would be my XD. He would obviously know that that isn't his Dream, but it's still a Dream. He'd want his own little brother back (although they'd still be together in the void, XD still worries, still fears), but there's a very good chance he wouldn't want to give up this other Dream either. My XD is selfish, and Dream + c!Callahan are everything to him. He's terrified of losing them. So even losing a different Dream, even if he already got his original one back, wouldn't be something he'd accept easily.

It would come down to what Craft's Dream decides to do. If he wanted to return to his own universe, which I imagine he would out of not wanting to lose everything he's worked for and general fear of universe fuckery, XD would let him go. Reluctantly, but he'd do it.

If Craft's Dream decided he didn't want to leave, maybe because he can't handle the thought of walking back into a sealed room with two of his abusers for an unknown amount of time, or maybe because this universe is what he wanted in the first place, or just maybe because this universe seems to WANT him. XD wants him to stay. Was upset about the damage done to him. Cared about him in such a fierce yet unabashed way. Whatever the reason, if Dream asked to stay, my XD would fight to make that happen. He'll take an extra brother. Clearly the other XD didn't deserve this one if he let him get into this shape.

I'd imagine the other XD would not take kindly to that, so Eldritch war (custody battle) might ensue.

#eldritch dream #c!dream #dreamXD #dsmp #c!quackity #sif speaks #dream smp #my headcanons #Anonymous #c!sam #sif answers

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m-aster-of-spinjitzu · 3 years ago

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orange and gold

...I just need more Cole and Vania content, they seem like they'd be great friends.

Basically it's just 'Cole goes to visit her there, they almost burn down the kitchen, and make way too many puns', lol.

Set a few months after Master of the Mountain, but before Seabound or The Island.

Also yeah, I couldn't think of a better title, sue me- I just know that they wear one of the colours at some point, so... 🤦‍♀️😂

Trigger warnings: none I think? Huh-

Also, bingo!! I really need to learn better time management, dear freaking gosh- I hope I'm not too late though? I know it's like half a day late, eek- and I was supposed to post this earlier, but I ended up literally falling asleep while writing it😂

Thank you so much Fabro, for hosting such a cool event!:D Your comments on my fics literally never fail to make my day<3. And I'm so glad that I met so many awesome, really skilled people through this event too - it's been a lot of fun working alongside y'all:D, I wish I'd had more time to interact instead of posting stuff and vanishing lol, but exams be like:////

Prompt: cooking (does baking count as cooking? I realized too late lol-) from @ninjago-bingo 's warm board.

Word Count: 2497

---

Trying to escape from killer dire-bats hadn't been on Cole's to do list today - although the mountains were kind of beautiful.

It was a bit difficult to see them while he was being dragged to his death, but hey, didn't Jay always tell them to be more positive?

That was, until he made the mistake of looking down.

Miles of snowcapped mountains touched the pastel blue sky, but he was more focused on exactly how high he was from the ground.

Great.

Trying to swing back onto the Bounty, he didn't notice a golden-winged blur shoot past the bat, almost dropping their spear in haste.

"Let my friend go, or I'll-"

"Vania?"

She throws the spear at the bird, successfully knocking one of its wings.

Huh. She must've been practicing - throwing with accuracy while flying seemed kinda difficult.

"I'm so sorry!" she replies, grabbing his arm before he fell down too. She winces at the strain on her wings, almost dropping him onto the deck. "I was supposed to come earlier, but there was an issue with one of the mines, and it took forever to-"

"There ain't anything in this world that's managed to kill me yet," he replies jokingly, checking that the autopilot hadn't been damaged. "I doubt an angry bird is going to be the first."

"Didn't you mention that you became a ghost once? Pretty sure that means you were dead-"

"Shh, that's not an important detail," he jokes.

"If you say so," she replies with a grin. "Did I mention that Chompy's been tearing down the palace flower arrangements again?"

"Send my regards to the gardener-"

"Did you just make a pun?"

"Remind me why I decided to visit you again?"

"Because you love me?" she asks stepping onto the ground as the Bounty landed gently.

"I hereby crown you as my platonic soulmate," Cole deadpans, taking her hand. "Vania and Cole-"

"Destined to annoy each other for eternity," she giggles, swinging their hands up and down. "But seriously - thanks. I don't think I realized how much work being a queen was."

"What's it like?"

"I mean - I'm glad that people trust me, and they come to me if they have a problem, but the paperwork is a nightmare. I never get to go outside anymore, I swear."

"Paperwork? Also, you just invited me here for a week. I don't wanna disturb you?"

"Nah, I cleared my schedule, don't worry. And trust me, you don't want to know. Everything requires some sort of official written thing, and it's so boring-"

"Official? But you're the queen?"

"Well, yeah, but I don't really want to change something unless it benefits the people. Not after..."

Her smile dims, eyes straying to the palace walls.

Oh- oh.

"You're nothing like him," Cole says firmly, squeezing her hand. "I mean, if you need to take a break, or you can make your job a bit easier by cutting out something unnecessary, that's just gonna help you become a better queen. You've definitely got the interests of your people at heart, and that's the most important thing, you know? And well, uh, everything seems to be going great so far - you don't have to beat yourself up over someone else's mistakes."

"Thanks," she replies softly, her smile slowly returning. "Speaking of breaks, what do you think we should do this time?"

"You could show me around the city again?"

"You've already seen everything cool," Vania giggles, skipping ahead of him. "We don't renovate much - unlike you guys-"

"Hey, it's not our fault that our city gets destroyed every few months-"

"More like every few days," she teases, tying back her golden hair. "How about we find some dragons to adopt?"

"Tempting, but where would you keep them?"

"They could sleep in my room-"

She breaks off when she notices him laughing. "What?"

"N- nothing," Cole replies, in between laughs. "Jay and I just made a bet."

"On what?"

"How many dragons you've adopted. I bet at least six, he bet fifteen."

"Well, jokes on both of you - I'm pretty sure my advisor's going to throw a fit if I show up with another one," she starts, giggling. "We've got twenty living in the palace right now."

"Twenty dragons?"

"They're so cute! You just look into their adorable little eyes," Vania pauses for breath, continuing her animated gesturing, "and you can't help but wanna hug them!"

"Oh, Jay's going to be so mad."

"Aww, I'm sorry guys. They're just too adorable!"

"...Wanna hear a funny story?"

"Yeah, sure!"

"I actually used to be terrified of dragons-"

"No way!" Vania exclaims. "Y'all have been on a lot of adventures though, so-"

"Nah, we used to have our own dragons at first. They were pretty cool! I just- I'm a simple guy! Huge animals with wings are scary up close when you're barely a teenager."

"Or when you're really short-"

"We're the same height!" Cole exclaims, facepalming in a bit of a fondly exasperated way.

"I'm two years younger than you-"

---

"Ugh, whose idea was this?"

"Yours," Vania grins, sitting down on the kitchen counter.

"You were supposed to help me, not leave me high and dry!" Cole accuses jokingly, staring at all the appliances they'd found in the cupboards.

"'One must always be prepared for new adventures,'" she quotes seamlessly, waving one of- what was his name again? Mulch something? Oh! Clutch! Some explorer he was, leaving them to die in the pyramid - Clutch Powers' books in the air.

"Fine," he sighs, staring at the old recipe book she'd found in one of their back cupboards. "But you've gotta help me? I almost burned down-" "Woah, what? If you finish that sentence with 'kitchen'-" "In my defense, Kai was playing a prank on me-" "In my defense, I wouldn't like to explain how the queen of Shintaro burnt down the palace by teaching one of her friends to cook," she grins, flipping through the pages. "What do you wanna start with?" "Something simple?" "Have you ever tried baking bread before? It's a lot of fun!" "I haven't really had the time, but that sounds kinda interesting."

He skims the recipe, raising his eyebrows. "Wait, why does this take hours? I thought you said it was simple?"

"Trust me, it is," she laughs, adding, "besides, I still wanna hear about all your adventures!" "Uh... okay," Cole replies hesitantly, "but if this fails, I'm so sorry." "Give yourself some credit, you guys literally saved the world! Multiple times!" "Bold of y'all to assume we know how we did it," he laughs, only half-kidding. "Besides. I botched soup once."

"I've botched toast," she mock-sighs, smiling. "Pretty sure that makes us even."

"Lemme get this straight. You've messed up toasting bread, but you can bake it from scratch?"

"Trust me, I don't know either," she giggles, trying to open a brightly coloured packet of... something? Did flour come in packets that small?

"Uh, why are you opening something called 'feast'?" he asks, eyebrows creased in confusion.

"Feast," she echoes, trying to stifle her laughter. "Off to a... rocky start, aren't we?"

It took him a second.

"I already regret this," he jokes, facepalming. "But I'd say that your puns are, uh, gold."

"I've un- unleashed-" breaking off, she half-falls off the counter, laughing so hard her face starts to go red, "a monster."

---

"Uh, is it supposed to look like that?" Cole asks, frowning.

The mixture looked less like the dough he'd been expecting - more like one of Jay's inventions gone wrong.

Badly wrong, he thought, eyes widening at the goopy mess of foam that threatened to spill over the jug.

"The yeast?" Vania echoes, poking her head out of one of the cupboards. "Yeah, all good! It always looks a little gross, and you're gonna doubt ever eating bread again, but at least it doesn't taste like it's fermented-"

"It's what?"

"Yeah," she grimaces, exaggerating her disgust a bit. "If aliens ever fell from the sky, they'd think we were crazy for eating bread-"

"Aliens? I think we're a bit crazy!" Cole exclaims, trying not to laugh.

Vania smiles, then sighs, lugging a huge bag of flour onto the counter. "I can never open these bags properly," she starts, eyeing the the bag a bit warily, "and it always makes such a huge mess all over the kitchen. You'd think they'd make it easier for people to use, right? I swear-"

He jokingly puts his hands over his ears. "I can't hear you!" "But you know that I've sworn off swearing-" she replies, breaking off with a laugh. "Pun not intended - that actually made sense in my head. I swear!"

"No," Cole interjects with a grin, shaking his head. "You don't, remember?"

"See, this is why we're friends-"

"Friends? Is that all I am to you?"

"Oh, be quiet," she shoots back, exaggeratedly dragging a hand down her face. "I mean, sure, just because everyone thinks that we're dating doesn't mean that we-"

Wait. What?

"People think that we're dating?" he asks, clamping a hand over his mouth in a poor attempt to muffle his laughter. "I- I- really?"

"I know, right?"

"Even my friends thought so at first," he confesses, dragging a hand down his face. "I mean, as much as I love you-"

"I love you too," Vania replies, completely seriously. "Even if you'll always be more like an annoying-"

"Hey-"

"Sibling to me than anything else," she finishes, grabbing a pair of scissors. Cole watches, a little alarmed, as she stabs them into the flour bag over and over.

"Is it... supposed to be this difficult to just open the bag? Seems kinda stupid-"

"Well, er, they have this piece of paper with glue that you're supposed to pull away from the rest of the bag, but it never works properly and I-"

"Well, we could always make our own flour," Cole interjects, laughing. "I mean, I've got a scythe? Let's go!"

"Uh, but we don't have wheat growing here. I don't think it'd suit the climate very well?"

"Wheat a shame," Cole sighs jokingly, measuring out the flour (which had, finally, escaped the bag).

"Oh my gosh," Vania deadpans, "you did not just-"

"Yep, I did."

"You're horrible," she giggles, "then again, I was the one who started this whole debacle, so I think we'll share the blame."

"Debacle? Where'd you pick that one up from? Sounds kinda cool-"

"Oh, it's from a book someone wrote about you guys," Vania says casually, pouring a cup of water into the bowl.

"Hey, uh-" Cole starts hesitantly, twisting his fingers back and forth, then breaks off. "Why'd you read all that stuff about us, anyways? Adventure books don't really seem like something you read a lot, since we have similar favorite books. I mean..."

"Well, um..." Vania trails off, clearly uncomfortable. "Uh- I guess, well, it sounds kinda stupid, but I'd never really met anyone my age who wasn't a royal or something. I... er, I didn't want to be left out, you know?"

Cole thinks back to a scroll; a quest, a sacrifice. One that his friends never seemed to really notice, unless it was with horror or flinches. Not that he blamed them, but - joking about how he was much more useful to the team when he was freaking dead than he was before he'd stumbled and fell in the temple?

That had been a bit far, even for his best friend. Locks could always be picked or something, he didn't need to be a ghost to provide some sort of value-

Well, that's not completely true, is it? a small voice questions, and he can't keep his hands from shaking a little.

"Jay here thinks you're the least valuable ninja."

Not enough to be a performer. Now, not good enough to even be a ninja, apparently.

Well, he reminds himself firmly, you don't have to be the best - just stand up to those who are cruel and unjust.

Nothing but a scar that glowed warm orange occasionally left of the whole Cursed Realm ordeal, sometimes it was all too easy to forget - or pretend - that it had never even happened in the first place.

Other times, like when he'd dropped a glass of water on the floor and his hands hadn't stopped shaking for hours, or when he woke up screaming, expecting to fall through his bed again, it still felt like he was trapped as a ghost. Literally - and maybe a little figuratively as well.

Yeah. Yeah, I know.

"Thanks for trusting me with that," he replies softly. "And I'm sorry. That sounds... horrible, but, honestly, you're a pretty cool person, and I ain't just saying that because we're friends. People can be awful, and they can- they can leave, but you don't need to pretend to be someone you're not for people to accept you. I kinda know what it's like, and it's... just, uh, not great."

"No, thank you," Vania says, rubbing her eyes. "You're pretty cool, too. And I'm glad that we become friends, even if wasn't in the- the, er, greatest circumstances."

"Right back at ya. The fall was pretty terrifying, though," Cole says casually, as if memories of that nightmarish plunge into the depths of earth don't still send shivers down his spine.

"No, definitely! I was so sure we were gonna splat onto the ground or something, thank gosh we didn't."

"Yeah..." Cole trails off, reading the recipe they'd been following. "Oh- do we just leave the bowl somewhere for a few hours now?"

"Oh, yeah," Vania answers. "Other than clean up the kitchen, what else do you wanna do?"

"That's kind of you, but, ah, I don't mind. You can choose something."

"I don't mind either," she replies, covering the bowl with a dishcloth. "Seriously, I don't."

"Same here though."

"Really, I don't mind-" Vania breaks off with a laugh, adding, "Well, actually, there is something."

She doesn't elaborate, thoughtfully gazing out the window.

"Well, what is it? Don't keep me in the dark."

"Ugh, it's kinda stupid-"

"I'm sure that it's not- well, unless you want to try to jump off a flying ship with a homemade parachute to prove a bet to someone-"

"Do I even wanna know?"

"...uh, probably not. We're way too crazy sometimes, our Master has a hard time keeping us in check. Your thing, though?"

"Can I give you a hug?"

Cole blinks for a second, expecting some sort of punchline.

"That's your thing?"

"Well, yeah- I mean, I said it was kinda stupid-"

"No no, that's not what I meant. You're so sweet - that's all."

"Well, not more than you-"

"Nah, you're sweeter-"

"Let's just call it a tie," Vania says with a smile, reaching over to give her friend a hug. "Thank you so much, I swear- well, no, I don't, but you know, anyways-"

"Yeah," Cole replies, laughing softly. "I know."

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shyrose57 · 4 years ago

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Brothers anon, im gonna start combing the two separate submissions again cause its getting too short to have them separate I think?

1: His possession messed with memories Ranbob had before, so memories of school friends or playing with Ran were distant to erased. Though after Dreams possession it was also harder to make and keep memories. But thankfully as Ranbob was recovering from Dream and got futher away making memories came eaiser to him, though he'll never get back the memories he lost.

3: Oh he would very quickly grow to regret his decision, but it would be funny. And Benjamin would later admit that while it was annoying and stressful, it was also fun and he was very happy to have his two families meet and generally get along.

8: Everyone is just in shocked silence before Cletus just goes "YEAHHHHHHHHHH!" Oddly happy that Ranboo committed so much arson. Oh definitely, after all the outcasts of society where put there. Of course people would make such negative rumors about Mizu and treat the people as the scum of the earth. Though this also means, people don't know what happened in Mizu, and anyone who knows, view it in a more happy and a "Their finally gone" type of way, then viewing it as the tragedy it was.

Spoons is a card game technically. A group of people sit in a group and everyone gets 4 cards, and you keep discarding at least 1 card of yours to the person on your left, who then does the same to their person on their left, the last person in the group puts a card into a discard pile. The goal is to get 4 of the same cards, and once someone gets 4 of the same cards, that person goes and grabs a spoon in a pile in front of them (let's say there's 5 players, theres only going to be 4 spoons cause there's always a spoon less than the people playing), once they grab one anyone can grab a spoon. And the person who doesn't get a spoon gets a S added to them, once Spoons is spelled the person gets out of the game, and a spoon gets removed to continue the game. Basically for flowers its played the exact same way but with flowers in the middle expect for spoons.

11: I just imagine Dream sulking in a corner as you yell at him and him going like "well I didn't know…" as he kicks a stone. And he wasnt sure what it was, but quickly jumped on the idea that maybe it was the fact that Ran was still alive somewhere, and that that's causing Ranbob to willingly let himself become weak and defy him. Causing Dream to become angrier at Ran and punish Ranbob harder.

----

3: During the brothers fight in the storm, and after everyone runs off to find Ranbob, Ran is left alone. And he decides to just wander off into the storm, not protecting himself from the rain so he does get burnt. The whole time he's lost deep in thought and isn't really paying attention. He continues to wander for a whole day unfollowed (because after the Gladiators and Fishermen came back to the cave after finding Ranbob they are in no rush to find Ran and decide to look for him after the storm passes, which takes a full day) and at some point Raq finds him wandering. Which Raq then uses Rans distraction to his advantage and attacks him. At first only really the gladiators where concerned when they found Ran gone. But once they found him blinded and terrified everyone felt awful and a looming sense of guilt. And everyone continued to feel that way, even after they got the antidote and Ran started to see again.

4: They would just leave Ranbob alone and check in on him every now and again. But generally let him deal with it himself. They'd feel guilty leaving him alone, but they also know that they can't really do anything for him as their not prepared or briefed on how to help him in this situation.

10: Oh definitely, even with Ran blinded they would've been kicked out immediately for fighting, without even a second glance. Dont forget, Ran still cares for his brother. And maybe, losing his sight made him face the side of him that wanted to become family again with Ranbob, maybe it brought enough to light that he just can't ignore it anymore. Mostly only negative potions can be permanent, like posion, blinding, wither, and nausea (I know the last like 3/2 are effects but they've also found a way to make effects into potions.). You already know what a antidote for blindness would be. A antidote for wither would be, a ghast tear (actually a basic ingredient for almost every antidote), blaze powder, and glistening melon to make a overpowered healing potion. Antidote for posion would be ghast tear, swiftness (so it acts fast to get rid of the posion), and the 3rd ingredient depends on what kind of posion it was (posion that has a side effect of constricting or filling the lungs with water? Pufferfish and Turtle shell for last ingredients. Posion that has weakness? Blaze powder, and glistening melon) And antidote for nausea would be ghast tear, and potion of slowness to allow the person to slowly feel better, so their nausea doesn't hit them all at once before disappearing, which can cause them to throw up or have side effects.

13: Thats exactly what they did.

14: Jackie will 100% attempt to fight God and no one can stop him. :) (to be honest im not sure yet, I know I want to do more with Raq and have the idea that maybe he could be the person that finds Dream and gets him out of Mizu, but that's pretty often used in stories and I want to try to think of something more unique. Maybe I'll have it so Raq actually manages to capture the brothers or at least one of them and uses them as blackmail?)

15: When Ranbob was a child and Ran was just a baby Ranbob would often take Ran out of his crib and take him to go watch the fish swim by. When Ran was old enough he'd follow Ranbob everywhere, even a few times he managed to sneak into Ranbobs class room and almost wasn't caught. Ran got extremely clingy one day and managed to gather his haunting all up into his arms and carried them around, even though he was obviously struggling. And Ranbob used to complain about his teachers and idiotic classmates whenever he got home, which is funny when you consider Ran was very impressiable at the time and Ran started mimicking Ranbob, leading to him cursing, much to Ranbobs dismay.

And im curious, do you have any questions that I havent answered? Or do you have any ideas for anything? I'd love to hear whatever you have to say about anything honestly!

Course! I dont have much lore wise other than they go to Kelalen and when they hear Dream is still around they decide to stay back to help fight him. But the idea I have is that Karl is just kinda hanging with everyone I listed, talking about allies or treaties when his time traveling clock/watch starts to go off, and he panics, but sadly in his haste to stop it he makes it worse and it grabs everyone, where they end up in the future. After hours of confusion and explaining they calm down. When 2 days later they find the Gladiator and Fishermen group, at first Karl is strongly against going to then for help, but everyone basically ignores him and go to ask for help. Hours of explanation and proof giving later the GF (Gladiator and Fishermen, got tired of writing it out) group sadly tells them that they cant really help. Until Ran (who was previously gone searching the surrounding area and making sure it was safe) appears high up on a tree (cause I just can't get the image of Ran on a tree and looking comfortable and confident as hell out of my head), and says that maybe Kelalen can help, if not going to Foolish may be a good alternative. Isaac, and Grievous are extremely against going back (at this time a 2 months have past since they left Kelalen)n saying it could be dangerous but Ran just aboustely shoots them down, along with Watson and Jackie agreeing with Ran, and Karls group agreeing to it. They head off to Kelalen. And Jackie is extremely excited at the potential of going to see Foolish finally. And it'd probably be like a sub au where the brothers au is the main backbone for it but at a certain point it separates from the au and becomes its own.

1: Okay, ouch. Can you imagine if Ran brought one of those memories up, and just had Ranbob look confused, or horrified, depending on how quick he realizes what happened? How would Ran react to that realization, both before and after he forgives Ranbob?

3: If nothing else, everyone got some laughs from it-even Benjamin, once his friends were far, far away from his family and not able to teach them more chaos.

8: Cletus, why are you so happy? Do you just enjoy knowing chaos existed back then? Are you an arsonist? What’s up with you?

Also, wow. Not cool, other city people, that’s very mean.

Spoons sounds like it’s interesting, I might try it sometime. Did the group just have those cards on them? What other games did they have?

11: Good, put Dream back in the corner, I’m gonna be yelling more. Because, seriously dude? I know you probably exist solely out of spite, but c’mon. Admittedly, from a certain point of view, it could be considered amusing that your first thought was that Ranbob was making himself weaker out of defiance/spite but like. From a more responsible and mature viewpoint, that’s incredibly stupid, and I-just. Buddy, hate to tell you, but I’m pretty sure that’d just be a you thing. Besides you were in Ranbob’s head, didn’t he think Ran was dead? It doesn’t even make sense. Good lord, I’m half-tempted to get the broom and chase you around like you’re a particularly unruly barn cat.

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3: First of all, that sounds really scary for Ran. Second of all, are we getting an overprotective arc?

4: Kind of sad, but understandable, they’re dealing with the situation as best they can.

10: Even if the group was provoked by the townspeople? Potions sound really cool, wish I could make those in real life, tbh.

13: W-what do you mean ‘that’s exactly what they did’? Anon, is your friend, like, a legit gremlin? I’m spooked.

14: Foolish takes one look at Jackie, wearing a smile that exactly matched Tubbo’s when he was about to cause chaos, and immediately nopes out of that. He knows that face, and he will not be getting tangled into a fight with a goblin child today, no sir. I’m sure Jackie tries regardless though. (Also, that sounds like that goes horribly, do we get an overprotective ender-sibling, for whoever gets captured or used as blackmail, if that’s what you do?)

15: I love all of these so much, oh my gosh. Baby Ran seeing the fishes and following his big brother around. Poor Ranbob’s face when his baby brother cursed one day, Ran trying to carry all of his haunting. I’m in tears, honestly.

Umm...I can’t think of anything right now, to be honest. If I ever do have a question or idea though, I’ll through it on the Brothers AU tag for you to check out, I guess.

Oh, this sounds really cool. The part about them just ignoring their local time traveler when they’ve just time traveled particularly amuses me, as does Jackie wanting to see Foolish-I feel like Foolish may be a little more than terrified to see both Tubbo and Jackie back, honestly. Why was Ran willing to help them so much? What did they do to offer proof? How did Ranbob react once they proved who they were? How does all the group get along? Are they Ranboo’s haunting, and if so, if Ranboo gets close with his descendants, does he merge his hauntings with theirs? How does the time group feel about the Brothers fighting, and Ranbob’s possession?

#Brothers AU #dream smp #dream smp au #tales from the smp #ranbob #tubbo #ranboo #foolish gamers

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gothwives · 2 years ago

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musingmixtape:

jo nodded at the male’s words, desperately wishing she could believe him when he assured her that nobody was going to know. she’d never kept a secret this big in her heart. but the alternative of letting it out, being honest and facing the consequences was too terrifying. “no, don’t do that– you don’t get to do that.” the brunette protested in a strained tone, pointing an accusatory finger towards the male. choosing skepticism and frustration was easier than taking a moment to let his words sink in. to consider that perhaps, bradley wasn’t the man for her, that maybe she was settling. “this is not about me loving him.” which she did. of course she did. even when her emotions were currently a twisted mess in the pit of her stomach. “this is about me choosing him. and about you choosing your dream.” she owed that to herself, to try not to break. because if she did, she wasn’t completely sure she wouldn’t be asking lennon to prove his words and demostrate exactly how good he’d be to her. again. “and your dream isn’t me. it’s not some one night stand with a girl who’s been with the same boyfriend since she was eighteen.” because, how could it be? “it’s this band, the music, the thrill of being on stage, the groupies who’d kill to listen to you say to them what you’re telling me right now.” he was born to play for a crowd, and she seriously wanted to protect that. not to destroy everything he’d worked for and the band’s trust in him. in them. “I don’t want to lose you, lenny, but I can’t give you what you want either. can’t we just forget about last night and go back to the time when we didn’t feel like this?”

standing in a friend's backyard, desperately clinging to whatever spark remained between them, lennon couldn't help but wonder how they got here. it'd been a long time coming, the result of several years of built up tension and unrequited feelings— he'd fantasized about getting the chance to show jo just how he felt for god knows how long, but he'd never seen it playing out like this. it was bittersweet, getting to experience just how heavenly it was to be with her, only to know he could never have it again. "but it is about that, because if he wasn't in the picture, you'd be with me. right?" while lenny had held back on confessing his feelings for her when they'd first developed, he hadn't expected someone else to swoop in and steal her heart, let alone his best friend's brother. how could he compete with a guy like bradley? "you don't fucking get it, jo—" the laugh that fought its way out was one of pure frustration, running a hand through his hair to try and soothe the bitterness that'd manifested on his tongue. "i don't give a fuck about girls who only want me so they can say they bagged a bassist, ok? i could be in any band! maybe i'd enjoy it more knowing i don't have to compete with mr. perfect and his massive fucking ego. standing in his shadow isn't my dream, jo. it's you. you're it! you're the fantasy!" he hadn't noticed the increase in volume until he took a moment to pause, his own voice still ringing in his ears. it didn't matter whether anyone overheard or not, he was too fed up to hold it all in anymore. "you weren't some one-time lapse in judgment, jo. don't you get it? there's never been a time when i didn't feel like this. since seventh grade! it's always been you for me. always will be." baring his soul would no doubt put her in an uncomfortable position, which is why he'd never confessed his feelings before, but there was no way for him to continue to bite his tongue now that they'd crossed that line from friendship to something more. "tell me you don't love me. tell me you could never love me, and it's always gonna be brad, and i'll never bring it up again."

#{ lennon crosby — thread }#{ lennon vs. jo }#musingmixtape #they are killing me this is too much #his sad lil kicked puppy face

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clean-bands-dirty-stories · 5 years ago

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Why? - F.W. (part one)

A/n: So I was on a marathon with my family and we got to that part in the last movie where Pansie was all "get him!" after Voldemort said to give Harry up and then ALL the Slytherins got punished so I started thinking about how it could have gone differently and this happened and y'all once I thought it out so perfectly I HAD to write it. For my fellow Green and Silvers.

Word Count: 5300+

MASTERLIST

I didn't like them from the get-go. The Weasley twins. My first day, when I was so excited I just about glowed, sitting on that sorting stool to get sorted. When I got the house I had crossed my fingers for because I had heard all about Hogwarts and had analyzed myself and predicted where I might go and had been RIGHT- and I loved to be right. When I was at my highest, having my golden moment, grinning like a child on Christmas and not noticing until later as the other first years were confused by the innocent, friendly, kind little girl they'd thought would be Hufflepuff being Slytherin. When I was still unaware of how Hogwarts worked and what it meant to be in Slytherin house, they made sure I knew.

As I made my way to the table at the end with the cheering kids in silver and green, I heard them. I heard them booing. I froze in my tracks, not down the first step yet, where everyone could see me. My face was wiped of my smile and my face had gone pale- I could feel it in the rushing feeling in my head. I slowly turned to look where it was coming from. The Gryffindor table. Two red-headed twins were grinning ear to ear as they screamed "BOOOOO!" on the top of their lungs, shaking their head and nudging each other like it was some grand joke. One of the twins - they MUST have been twins - caught my eye and his smile faded. He looked guilty. Good.

My sadness and discomfort and crushed happiness turned to anger, my face heating up. There was a hand on my back and I turned to see McGonagall. She gave me a pitying look before I turned away and finished my walk to my table, chin held high and back straight, my hands curled into fists at my side. I was angry.

When the sorting went through - my frozen moment of devastation was overshadowed and forgotten when Harry Potter of all people was sorted and went into Gryffindor - and the feast started, I turned to one of my table mates. "When I came down, there were these Gryffindors... booing me."

The girl, who had dirty blonde hair and brown eyes, was a bit older than me. Her expression darkened and she seemed to age far too many years. "One thing you have to get straight. In this school, we're not Hogwarts. Ravenclaws, Hufflepuffs, and Gryffindors are Hogwarts." She glared at her food. "They think we're evil. All of us."

The word sent a wave of shock through my system. "Evil?" My voice was too light- I couldn't get any power behind my words. It was all air.

The girl placed a hand on my shoulder, her face sad and softer than before. "Don't worry, you'll have the rest of us, okay? And it's not so bad. Wait until you see the common room. Just ignore the other houses- it's better that way."

The rest of the meal I was fine. It was when I got tripped in the hallway on my way to the dorms that I finally lost it, only able to keep it together long enough to get into the rooms before I began crying. One of the other girls ran to get someone older and before long a brunette girl with green eyes came, pulling me into her chest and rubbing my back. "I'm not evil," I sobbed.

"I know," she soothes me. "They're all just arseholes, don't mind them."

So I didn't. Her words made me feel a lot better, but her actions were what soothed me. She was gentle and kind, considerate and soft. If she was a Slytherin then being a Slytherin wasn't bad and that was that. I made a vow after that night: I'd never let other kids' gossip and bull crap affect me. I would let it upset me again, let alone cry. I would NEVER cry over other peoples’ opinions. Not these peoples'. You know what, not anyone else's either.

I kept that vow, too.

My first potion's class was with Harry Potter himself. He was sitting next to a girl with bushy brown hair that I think made her look bigger- like a peacock uses its colorful feathers. I think it suited her. Professor Snape, the one teaching potions, was shooting question after question at Harry, ignoring the girl next to him as desperation crossed her face, her hand as high in the air as she could get it, wiggling.

It bugged me. Harry looked incredibly uncomfortable and the girl looked about ready to explode and Snape was being a dick. "Obviously he doesn't know." Snape looked at me sharply. Everyone did. It didn't scare me. "But SHE does. Why don't you ask a question where you want the answer, not just an opportunity to make a first year look like an idiot?"

The room was so silent that no one even dared breathe. Snape's eyes flickered to my tie, his features twisting with disgust when he noticed the green and silver. "Learn how to talk to teachers, or hold your tongue." I glared at him and that seemed to knock him silent for a second. He looked away, moving on, and I let out a soft breath I'd been holding in. I felt eyes on me and I looked over to see Harry and the girl both looking at me. The girl seemed bewildered, but Harry was smiling at me. I gave a small smile back.

Maybe not all Gryffindors were bad.

When I looked back over at my partner to whisper about how I was surprised I didn't get detention with how angry Snape had seemed, the words died on my tongue. My partner, a boy named Blaise, was glaring daggers at me. Even more viciously than Snape. "Who's side are you on?" He sneered at me.

I looked forward again and was quiet for the rest of the class. What did he mean 'who's side'? Weren't we all Hogwarts students? Was the girl who had told me it was Hogwarts versus Slytherins... serious? I was realizing I hadn't really believed her. I figured maybe a lot of people across houses didn't get along but there had to be more friendships than not. I saw twins get sorted into different houses. But I guess neither of them was in Slytherin. Harry didn't seem to hate me... though the girl next to him had seemed like she'd seen a ghost when I'd stood up for him...

I kept my mouth shut for a whole week and a half. Snape didn't much mess with Harry (though he did take opportunities that popped up) as much as he did another Gryffindor. Neville Longbottom. Harry was good at handling himself when Snape got on him. He was a tough kid and seemed generally unbothered, keeping his pride and gave little reaction passed a glare or an eye roll behind Snape's back. Neville, on the other hand, was awkward and sensitive, flinching at everything Snape said. Even if Snape was nearby or shot him a look from across the classroom. It hit every nerve in my body and was grating on every instinct I had.

Then Snape crossed a line. He threatened to hex Neville's road if the boy got the potion wrong. Neville made a pathetic sound that was halfway between a choked sob and a surprised gasp and the Slytherin next to me - Draco Malfoy this time - snickered under his breath.

"You can't do that."

Silence again, like after the first time when I'd stuck up for Harry. Draco leaned away from me as if I was diseased or had turned into a werewolf. "What," Snape asked, dragging the word out. "Did you just say to me?"

I turned around in my chair to meet his eyes, my expression determined and as controlled as his was. "I seriously doubt that Dumbledore would approve of your harming a student's familiar simply because they were confused on a spell. That's not proper punishment, Professor." I spat the last word like it was poison and his eyes narrowed.

"How would you have me handle his lack of talent then, Miss Black?" As he said my last name an emotion flickered across his face that I vaguely recognized. It was the same one that I hadn't taken much notice of my first day but was apparent to me now as I thought back on it. The same look in McGonagall's eyes as she called my name for me to be sorted. It made me nervous. They couldn’t know. Not yet.

"Maybe teach him. Then he'll know how to do it."

Someone gasped. Snape flared. "Well, since I'm so incapable of teaching him, obviously, then you will have to try for me." He took steps toward me and I genuinely felt terrified. "You and Mr. Longbottom will meet in here for detention every day for the next week and during class, you two will be paired up. If he fails, so do you." He leaned forward, flattening the palm of his hand on my desk and leaning down to get in my face. "Do I make myself clear?"

My angry gaze leveled with his and I didn't move back, which he seemed to have not been expecting as he leaned a millimeter back himself. "Crystal." I nearly growled the word. He slowly stood, moving back up the aisle to the front of the classroom. "Resume your potions," he snapped. The room returned to their potions.

After class I was finally free, only to have the back of my robes yanked on as I was dragged into a darker hallway. I choked on the pressure against my neck but was knocked breathless before I could scream once I got my air back as the same person slammed me into the nearest wall. I blinked rapidly to try and re-orient myself as unknowing students passed by. Just as the last one disappeared, the world stopped being confusing and I recognized the faces in front of me. Draco Malfoy and his two brutes- Crabb and Goyle. I hadn't much liked any of them but Draco had been generally friendly with me so they left me alone.

Now there wasn't a chance of friendship in their eyes. Or mercy. "Stop standing up for Gryffindors," Malfoy sneered. I shrunk back into the wall. "Aren't you a Slytherin? Don't you have any pride? Any self-respect? You're making the rest of us look bad."

Gathering my courage, I curled my hands into fists. "I think you're doing that fine on your own," I eased. "Looking bad. A kid is being picked on by a teacher and you're laughing as if it's funny." I scoffed. "You're a coward hiding behind bullies. And I won't stand by and let it happen- I don't care WHO you are."

Crabb was the one holding me against the wall but Draco was the one speaking, and I guess that made him just as powerful because he leaned in my face, unfazed by my words. "One day you're going to regret not keeping your mouth shut."

"And one day you'll regret not having said anything," I shot back. "It will be different, but we will both regret. The difference will be YOU will want to go back and change it. I will not."

"Why you-" Draco began.

He was interrupted. "Let. Her. Go." The four of us looked over to see an older Hufflepuff boy - a Prefect, by the badge on his robes - flanked by two tall, red-headed, identical Gryffindors. I recognized the twins from the sorting ceremony. They were the ones that had booed me. "I think you boys need to step away from the situation and calm down before this gets too ugly.

Draco hesitated before sneering a, "Come on Goyle, Crabb. This isn't worth our time." I felt the grip leave me as they left.

My eyes moved to the three boys who had rescued me. "Thank you," I said to the Hufflepuff. I ignored the twins.

"No problem. You're a first year?" I nodded. "I'm a fourth year. Cedric Diggory."

"Ylva Black," I exchanged. "You can call me Liv."

Cedric smiles, nodding. One of the twins stepped forward, next to him instead of behind. "I'm Fred, this is George. We're Weasleys. Third years." He seemed to be rambling just a bit and sensed how awkward and inorganic it was because he winced, blushing almost as red as his hair. George shot his brother a weird look and Cedric rose an eyebrow, smiling. I was unamused.

"Thanks again." I turned around and walked away.

I didn't talk to them again for quite a while, though I did see Fred in the hall constantly. Don't ask me how I knew it was Fred and not George- I just knew. There was something about the twins that made sense to me. I couldn't name it or make sense of it but it took me one interaction and then I could tell them apart... mostly. Sometimes I noticed one of them and wondered which it was. Not that I was genuinely interested in the twins who were absolute jerks but more, I liked a challenge. No one could figure out the difference. I wanted to be the first.

For a while, it was just me and Neville. We spent every potions class together and as long as he listened to me, I could keep him calm and ignore Snape's antagonizations. The only incident for a while was when the Slytherins and Gryffindors first met to learn how to fly a broom. Draco picked up Neville's Remembrall. Neville had become someone I sought to protect so it had been my instinct to step up for him, and a lot of people looked at me, almost expecting it. But going up against a teacher was different than going against Draco Malfoy, a fellow Slytherin first year. My moment of hesitation allowed Harry an opening.

The rest was my smiling and laughing as Harry put Draco in his place- until McGonagall showed up. Harry tossed me the Remembrall and I nodded, tucking it into my pocket.

At first, I thought all the Slytherins hated me as much as Malfoy, but one morning a Slytherin boy sat next to me and started talking, looping two girls across from us into the conversation. One of the girls wasn't interested but the other was and the three of us held a conversation the whole meal. The boy's name was Samuel Wiseman and the girl was Bertha Grimm. For the most part, I didn't talk to them, but during mealtimes we found each other. Then we began to hang out regularly sometimes too. When I had no one else, I had Bertha (who's name we shortened to 'Beth') and Sam.

After a month of somewhat peace was over, I ran into Cedric again. Some not-so-nice Gryffindors slammed into my shoulder, knocking me, and I nearly face planted. Cedric seemed to appear out of thin air to steady me, his eyes full of concern. "You okay?”

"Yeah," I sighed, glaring back but unable to spot who might have caught my shoulder. I looked back and Cedric, my expression softening. "It's fine, I'm getting used to it."

That seemed to bother him even more. He studied me carefully. "What are you doing later?" I shrugged. "Wanna hang out? I can help you with homework and you can tell me how your first... almost two months now, yeah?"

"Yeah," I confirmed. "I'd love that. Wanna meet in the library?" He nodded enthusiastically and I grinned for the first time since the sorting ceremony. "Awesome. See you then."

"Watch your back," he called after me. "I really will track down some Gryffindors and skin them if I see they're being too rough with you." I laughed, even though it wasn't really a joke. He was being serious in a light manner because he knew that it was a problem and he was trying to make it clear he wasn't going to tolerate it, even if he didn't want to upset me.

That night I told him everything. I told him about Sam and Beth but also about Crabb, Goyle, Draco, and the two girls who had welcomed and comforted me the first day but who now ignored me, not being hateful but not being friendly either. I told him about my few run in's and shared glances or teeny tiny sort-of-interactions with Harry Potter and how they'd gotten me in trouble. I told him about the twins booing me my first day. How Snape hated me, but Professor Flitwick shot me comforting smiles every once and a while so I was sure he liked me. I told him about the looks McGonagall had been shooting me when she thought I wasn't looking- a lot of really unimportant things I hadn't really thought were bothering me. I told him about how much I was loving Hogwarts despite all the hiccups.

He told me about his life too. About classes and friends and how he wasn't really a Prefect because he was only a fourth year. He'd just been messing around with a friend's badge that another one of his friends - a Gryffindor - had swiped as a joke when George had run up to him and told him that he and Fred have stumbled across some Slytherins who seemed to be ganging up on another student. He told me about some kids he knew in the other houses when I told him that Gryffindors seemed to be everywhere, joking that Gryffindors were the loudest but Hufflepuffs were the most fun. Then he began to tell me about some spells he was learning, quietly teaching me little harmless things to make me laugh. Tripping curses and spells that made bubbles come out of your wand. How to make a small bubble around us that blocked out all sound, or how to put my new levitating spell I’d just learned to hilarious use. He was a lot more trouble than I'd realized- even if he was only doing it to make me laugh.

Eventually we got to homework, where we stayed quiet except when he walked me through things I got hung up on. Mostly we worked on our different projects in comfortable silence.

My other friendships were a lot more casual- more like acquaintanceships. There was never a time when if we stopped talking it didn't feel... awkward. And once we stopped, it was hard to get into it again. With Cedric, it felt like I'd just found my long lost older brother. And he seemed to think the same. "It's late," he told me as I yawned my longest yawn yet. "How about you get to bed?" I turned a mournful look towards him and he returned a gentle smile. "We can do this again if you wish. Maybe regularly? Every Friday or Saturday?” He tilted his head back and forth. I smiled. “But you need sleep."

I sighed, nodding. "Okay, mum."

Cedric rolled his eyes but his smile never faltered. "If I'm going to be in charge of you, I accept big brother only." We looked at each other for a few seconds and then I nodded. Yep, that would do. We parted ways for the night and I headed to sleep.

Life basically passed like that. Cedric and I had a homework-and-chill session every weekend, the day changing based on our week and if we were available. My meals, some classes I spent with Sam and Beth, or how I had detention and potions with Neville. Everyone else pretty much ignored me except Fred Weasley, who would wave at me every time we made eye contact no matter how much I ignored him, and Harry and Ron - Ron was a friend that stuck around Harry and seemed to be all around pretty friendly to those who weren't total dicks - who would shoot me looks. Usually Harry initiatives the distant contact and usually in potions when I scrambled to block Neville from Snape. Little nods, fleeting smiles. The good stuff- casual style. Life stabilized and I was happy with my lot.

Then Halloween happened.

The panic, the troll in the dungeon, me curling into a ball and pressing my forehead to the table and closing my eyes and covering my ears while everyone screamed and tried to run out. Dumbledore calming us down. Going back to the dorm where Beth found me and hugged me, glad I was okay, and Sam was pulled to the boys' dorm by an older brother of his. He'd told us about him once.

After that night, rumors passed around about Harry Potter and the troll, and how 'Ron and Harry' became 'Harry, Ron, and Hermione'. Hermione actually began talking to me, taking the time after class while we moved to our next to ask how the last weekend had been. I told her about my friendship with Cedric Diggory and she told me about her friendship with Harry Potter and we laughed because it sounded like a competition but it wasn't.

When I first talked to Harry, he told me about his upcoming Quidditch game. I promised him I'd come but didn't promise I'd cheer for him and he got me to promise that I would cheer for him if he would give me a reason to. I promised that if it happened then I would.

At the game, I didn't get the chance to cheer for him. My knuckles were white as I gripped a railing, eyes glued to the sky and lips parted in worry. Harry was fine and I was calm until his broom started to jerk, zigzagging through the sky and trying to buck him off. People around me gasped and I appreciated for a moment that they cared. People were wrong- it wasn't Hogwarts against Slytherin. You could see the proof if you looked close enough. Even if they pretended to hate people from other houses, when someone was in danger Slytherins worried too. Even if they wouldn’t admit it.

Thankfully the broom stopped jerking just as I got my wand out and tried to think of something if he fell off. I relaxed, sitting back but leaving my wand out. There wasn't further incident but I was starting to worry about Harry Potter and the luck he had. Or, more accurately, the luck he DIDN’T have.

Other than these little blips of drama, it was just school. After detention ended Neville and I only talked to each other during potions. I did most of the work as he handed me things and read instructions. It was still teamwork enough that Snape couldn't yell at us. Harry and his friends seemed to be getting distracted by something so we didn't talk to each other much and Sam's brother kept trying to separate him from me - I realized it was ME when I saw the two brothers joking with Beth but then the older one, Michael, pull him away when I approached... several times. So Beth and I didn't hang out as much while she hung out with Sam and left me to hang out with Cedric.

Christmas I spent alone.

Most of the people I talked to left and the rest - Harry and Ron specifically - I didn't feel comfortable or close enough to rationalize crashing their Christmas. Cedric sent me a package of chocolates and a Christmas sweater that he'd said would be perfect for me. It totally was. I wondered briefly if he'd had someone make it for me...

I was out in the snow in my new sweater when he found me. Fred Weasley. "Hey."

I turned to face him. I frowned, turning away. "Hello."

He moved next to me. "You're less cool when you hate me."

"You're easy to hate," I replied evenly.

"How do you figure?"

I shot him a dark look. "Why are you here Fred? You obviously don't like Slytherins- you proved that when you BOOED me when I got sorted. So what do you want?"

He seemed to have a lot of emotions going through his head at once. "How did you know I was Fred?"

I looked away. "I don't know." I felt his eyes on me. "I actually don't," I repeated. "I just... I look at you and your brother and I DO."

He nodded, letting it go. "When we saw you in the hallway, with Draco and his dogs, George went and got Cedric but I stayed to watch because we were worried they'd hurt you before we could get someone." I looked over slowly. "What you said to them... it was cool." We didn't talk for a few beats. "I'd like to restart. I'm sorry about the sorting ceremony." I rose an eyebrow. "Seriously.” He shifted, righting his shirt for dramatic effect even though it was fine. “Hi, I'm Fred Weasley." He stuck out his hand to me.

Unable to help myself, I smiled. He was too easy going and positive. His smile was too contagious. So I took his hand, shaking. "Ylva Black." I hesitated then added, "You can call me Liv."

He grinned. "Cool."

The same comfortable quiet I felt with Cedric fell and I knew that despite how we'd started things, I had a new REAL friend and I was okay with that. I guess that was my real Christmas present.

The rest of the year passed without much drama for me until word spread around about Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. My worry for him increased and I wondered if being his friend was a good idea, considering how Hermione and Ron were involved. Quirrell was gone and rumors of a dark power hovering over them had first years shivering with fear.

At the end of the day, Fred and I became really good friends, which lead to me meeting George. It was like how my other acquaintanceships were- not often and loud, but fun. George was nice but it was Fred who joined my weekend study sessions with Cedric.

When Slytherin was lined up for the cup, I felt successful. I'd done my part for the glory of my house, though I did feel bad for the glum looks on a lot of my Gryffindor comrades. Cedric waved at me from across the room in congratulations and I grinned back.

I was tired of getting the carpet torn from under me. I was tired of being sure and set in something and then having it turned on it's head. Alas, Dumbledore had one last surprise. He awarded some last minute points, recognizing Ron and Hermione in their part in helping Harry as well as recognizing Neville for standing up to them. Neville's happy smile and wide eyes as people thumped him on the back sent my heart soaring and I didn't even fell bad when Harry got his extra points and the banners turned from green to red- Gryffindor had won. I was the only Slytherin that clapped and it was short lived. Other Slytherins glared at me and I sunk into my seat.

My house hated me.

The train ride was the highlight of my year, which is probably strange but no less true. I spent most of it writing a letter to my dad... even though I knew I'd never send it. I finished it, closing it up and then just staring at it. I'd written letters before but I knew that I wanted to write one at the end of every year, just to summarize what I'd gone through. I had no one else to talk to... Or so I thought.

"Who'd you write a letter to?"

I looked up, smiling as Cedric sat down across from me. "My dad." He nodded and the paused when my eyes fell to my letter again, my face growing sad. I noticed his curiosity and I cleared my throat. "Why are you sitting with me? Cool Hufflepuff fourth year like you? Don't you have any other friends?"

Cedric busted up laughing. "Okay, rude, first of all. Second of all, I CHOSE to come here because I wanted to say my last goodbye. Have one last conversation." He paused. "And threaten you to write me during the Summer to make sure you do." We both chuckled.

"Yeah, I'll write to you." I looked back to my letter.

"What's that about?" He asked gently, jutting his chin to my face. I suppose he was talking about my expression. "Aren't you going back home? Why send a letter?"

I swallowed. "My dad... isn't at home." He grew quiet, his smile faltering. "I don't think he even knows I exist."

He leaned forward, taking my hand. "I didn't know that I'm sorry."

"It's okay." I shook my head, smiling weakly. "You couldn't hurt a fly if you tried." We both smiled a little stronger. "Fun fact: I'm a loner." My eyes fell to the floor. "My mum sort of didn't want me so she gave me away. I mean... she wanted me at first. But my dad- he isn't a good man. She said I reminded her of him - in a latter, I was just a baby when she left me - so she gave me away. I'm... sort of in an orphanage." I shrugged, looking away. "I figured you should know. Friends know those things about each other right?"

Cedric's expression grew even sadder at my question. "Oh Liv..." he moved next to me, putting an arm around me and pulling me into his side. "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay," I whispered, closing my eyes. He was warm. "I have the greatest big brother." I couldn't see him but I knew that he was smiling by the sound of his little gasp, a little choked up.

I don't remember falling asleep but since he had to wake me up, he must have. "We're almost there. You might want to change out of your robes." I nodded, moving away to do so before returning in my normal clothes. I sat down next to him, snagging my folded up letter to tuck it into my trunk where it wouldn't get ruined. "I'd have to ask my dad for sure, but if he's okay with it... do you want to spend some of your Summer at my house?" I looked up at him, eyes shooting a mile wide. "I don't have a mum either but we’d still have nice su-"

I cut him off when I attacked him, wrapping my arms around his neck. "I would love to Ced."

He hugged me back. "I'll make sure it happens then." The rest of the time he told me about what he had planned this Summer and his plan on getting it worked out. When the train stopped I finally noticed that he didn't have his robes on anymore, which made me realized he must have changed when I was asleep. He walked me to his dad, explaining our friendship and asking if I could stay after introducing me. His dad was rather pleasant and seemed excited by the idea of having me over. Now all there was for us to convince the lady at the orphanage... which I promised wouldn't be hard. We moved toward platforms nine and ten where I told them she was waiting for me.

"LIV!" I turned to see Fred jogging up to me. I smiled, catching his ever-contagious grin. "Sorry I just wanted to catch you before you were gone. Write to me will you?"

A weird light filled me. I was THRILLED to have so many people genuinely concerned with keeping in touch. Who would miss me. "Definitely." I paused before holding out my hand. He looked down at it, taking it. But instead of shaking like I'd thought he pulled me closer, hugging me. I was tense at first but then I softened, allowing myself to enjoy the hug. We pulled away as someone called Fred's name, stepping apart. "See you."

"Until next year." Then he turned and walked away. I went back to Cedric and his dad, guiding them to the Muggle train station and to the Head Mistress of the orphanage. This was going to a great Summer, but I was even more excited for my second year of Hogwarts coming up. I had a feeling that some amazing things were about to happen and I couldn't wait.

Tag List: @reddie-steddie-go

#fred weasley #weasley twins #gryffindor #slytherin #hogwarts #fred weasley imagine #weasley twins imagine #gryffindor x slytherin #jk rowling #slytherins arent bad

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years ago

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Ava & Grace

Ava: Hey Grace: 👋 Ava: How'd it go with gym boy? Grace: 🤞 he's got the hint 👻 Ava: That good, huh Ava: how about the rest, you know, not boys? Grace: we so aren't here to talk about me Ava: Come on Ava: Give me some normal conversation right now Grace: !!!!!!!!! Grace: 100% not gonna be that bitch, talk to ME about what's going on in your oh so dramatic life! Grace: are you okay? Ava: Okay, okay Ava: I'll just come out with it Ava: no sugarcoating Grace: Duh 🚫🍫🍬🍭 Grace: it's not a cheat day Ava: 🤫🤫🤫 Ava: You wanna hear this hot, hot tea or nah Grace: obvs Ava: You'll be the least surprised so there's that Grace: 🚫😱😱😱 Ava: You know when you came here and then married guy couldn't come and then everything fizzled out? Ava: well, it actually did, for nearly a month Ava: but then he came back Grace: OMG Grace: it's literally the MOST 💖📽🎞 like FORGET before Ava: It really was Ava: remember when I got hit by that cyclist? Grace: that was so wild! OH was he the 🚴??? Ava: 😂 Ava: Imagine Grace: your otp Ava: But no, my parents were out of town Ava: and he came to the hospital, to make sure I was okay Ava: and he took me home and looked after me Grace: I'm like about to cry???!!! that's so Grace: 😍😍 Ava: Me too Ava: and of course, I had to go on Holiday like immediately after so that was shit but since then we've been talking and Ava: he's divorcing his wife Grace: I TOLD YOU HE WAS PURE Ava: I know Ava: and I'm sorry I had to kinda lie to you Ava: but I accidentally let slip I had talked to you and he freaked and that's why he first left so Grace: Oh please, if I filmed a storytime about this ALL the comments would be calling me out as #fake Grace: I get it Ava: It does sound pretty unbelievable Ava: even more so if I actually tell you who he is Grace: are you GOING TO???!! 😱😱😱 Ava: May as well, I've had to tell Nancy Ava: Parents and Buster to go Grace: Ugh! so sorry babes Ava: I couldn't tell you before 'cos they kinda know him Ava: knew him Ava: he was one of Buster's friends from School Ava: and his crazy wife is the main girl who bullied Nancy so Ava: that was fun Grace: Really?! wtf Grace: Chelsea is like Grace: so weirdly small Ava: That's why we call 'em villages, even though you're in a big city, the actual communities are ridiculously close-knit, for better and worse Ava: oh and Ava: make it weirder still Ava: you remember that boy from my party, Teddy? Grace: UM obvs I never forget a 💋 Ava: Well, that's his brother Grace: !!!!!!!!!!!!! Grace: do they look alike cos 🧸 is 😍😍 like 🙏🙏 Ava: Kinda Ava: [sends a cute photo he would've been able to send to the fake profile] Grace: oh Grace: my Grace: god Ava: I know Ava: 😩😍 Grace: did he edit his 👀??! I'm so shook 💙 Ava: No, I've seen them up close Ava: they're actually that unreal Grace: I can't even Ava: Guess what Grace: ?? Ava: He said he loves me Grace: NO WAY Grace: 😭😭😭😭 Ava: I know, I know Ava: I can't even Grace: so are you like a thing™ now? Ava: Yeah Ava: that's why I'm telling everyone Grace: Your parents are gonna be so Ava: Ugh Ava: it's going to be a whole thing Ava: with all of them Grace: mhhmmm Grace: like I feel like I know the answer but how did Nancy take it?? Ava: She just Ava: does my head in at the best of times and this was no exception, sadly Grace: at least Buster can't be telling ANYONE how to live their lives Grace: especially 😍💖 Ava: Watch him try though Ava: I'm expecting it though, they'll have to get over it on their own time Grace: 🙄 Grace: I feel that, Ri always thinks she can tell me something Ava: It's so Grace: IKR Grace: full offense babes I'm gonna listen to Janis before you & like no Ava: It's gonna be hellish but they can't do anything about it Grace: 🙏💜🤞 Ava: unless they do in which case bye and feel free to go through my wardrobe 🤷 Grace: duh Grace: but watch me also take your man Ava: 😏 cheek Grace: my crazy would look 😇 next to his ex's Grace: love that for me Ava: 'Til I haunt you crazier Grace: so scared obvs Ava: 😒 Ava: I only just got him, you can't be stealing him Grace: so sorry but like gotta get the full set on that fam now Ava: You better 🙏 my parents take it that personal Grace: 😇🙏💜 Grace: Jesus is totally my bae so Ava: and God's favourite son Ava: leave mine alone 😉 Grace: 😂😂 Ava: So you're not mad at me now, yeah? Grace: lowkey 💔 but not mad Ava: awh please Grace: ILY bitch you know it Ava: ily too 💙 Grace: & now I don't have to 👻💔 his brother so Grace: no way he'll be hitting me up after this Ava: Oh yeah, you're welcome for doing your dirtywork Grace: 💜😂💜 Ava: Has he hit you up then? 👀 Grace: 🤐🤐🤐 Ava: After I just poured my heart out? Ava: Rudeness Grace: you're in a 📽🎞💖 I'm in a 📽🎞😱 starring my crazy Ava: Girl, please Grace: I'm so serious Grace: & so over it Ava: You're not crazy Grace: I'm not not Grace: ask gym boy, but like don't Ava: I'm not gonna sleuth on you, don't worry Grace: if you had you'd see 🧸 on my pics hitting the 💜 Ava: Cute Ava: he must like you or he'd air you Ava: it's not unheard of Grace: like I said, thanks for putting that work in for me babes Ava: 😒 why not talk to him Ava: you don't have to see him 24/7 Grace: well duh I'm not about to move in with you Grace: but that's not why I can't Ava: ? Grace: he's like Grace: & I'm like Grace: It's not gonna be a thing Ava: You can't be friends? Grace: 😂😂 no Grace: that's as terrifying OMG Ava: 🙄 he is NOT scary Ava: though he is gonna hate me now probably so loyalties Grace: UM yeah he is Grace: he's nice & so I'm scared of him Grace: @ gym boy too Ava: 🤔 Grace: ugh whatever Ava: You're a nice person, you should hang with other nice people Grace: 🙄🙄 Grace: I've got friends he doesn't need to be one Ava: Okay Ava: not my otp, not gonna push that hard Grace: or ours its fine Grace: he won't be 😭😭😭 Ava: 'Course Ava: gonna have bigger problems to deal with, lbr Ava: 😬 Grace: yeah exactly Grace: maybe we can bond when the wife murders you but like Grace: black isn't my fave tbh can't 🤞 I'll serve my best look Ava: Funny 😏 Ava: she's actually 'out of the country' rn so you should probably watch your back 🔪🔪 Grace: you're so not gonna come visit me now you're 😍😍😍 are you? Grace: are you even doing holiday 2? Ava: time is getting away from us Ava: summer holiday standard Ava: it lowkey has not been organized so god knows now, I wouldn't be mad if it didn't but I wouldn't not go, I guess Grace: depends how they take your homewrecker status Ava: Yep, cheers 👍 Grace: people are shady Ava: Sure Ava: but my actual friend friends will know what's up Ava: everyone else chats about us anyway Grace: true Grace: shoutout to the fam for that one Ava: at least this one is something I actually did so Ava: oh well Grace: anyone who has a clue about his ex will know it's not even you Grace: like sorry hun you killed that 💍 yourself Ava: I'm not too fussed, it's my last year 💁 Grace: #priorities Ava: Exactly Grace: still so triggered by the idea of going back though thanks Grace: school is the WORST Ava: tell me about it Ava: won't miss that place Ava: Chelsea in general moreso but it isn't like I'll be a million miles away Grace: unlike me always a ✈ away Ava: Do you reckon you'll stay in Dublin? Grace: I guess Grace: where else would I go? Ava: You aren't going to make like Billie and Nancy and bounce then? Grace: being a or sleeping with models isn't very likely for me, babes Ava: Models are usually weird looking anyways Ava: oops accidental shade at your sister 🙊 Ava: don't tell Grace: thanks? I think Grace: shade her all you want, I'm about it Ava: How many times have you seen her kid? Grace: Like none Grace: we might get christmas but Ava: this family is messy Ava: watch me get lectured like it ain't Grace: preach Grace: maybe I shouldn't stay here Ava: you could stay or go wherever Ava: everywhere needs beauticians Grace: not Chelsea though, I'd run into your boyfriend's wife Grace: obvs can't escape anyone there Ava: 😂 truly Ava: I don't wanna be far away from the fam Ava: cracked as they are Ava: but that's just me Ava: I guess it isn't automatically selfish to move yourself halfway 'cross the globe hmm Grace: same though, I even miss Junie & like ?? why Grace: never saw him when we lived in the same house Ava: yeah Ava: that whole situation still fucks me off I Ava: idk Ava: I know it's not the kid's fault but I can barely even look at pictures of her Grace: Ri never should've done it Grace: like he didn't need a kid that bad Grace: obvs he didn't actually need one at all but nobody NEEDS one Ava: If they'd been together any amount of time Ava: Junior wasn't 20 fucking years old Ava: it was really stupid Ava: Buster said but oh well Grace: Demi is so Grace: I can't Ava: This family can't seem to help but add more fucked up people into its sphere Ava: like Ro hadn't just brought Drew back, AGAIN Grace: Getting pregnant by accident is one thing, like it's stupid but okay Grace: they planned that Ava: This family has way too many baby hangups dating back to nan Ava: can't blame her for all of this but break the cycle, someone, damn Grace: literally had my contraception on 🔒 since I was 13 thank you Ava: 'Accident' is some bullshit 9/10 times tbh Ava: you knew it was a matter of time, even if you don't know you knew it Grace: @ my mum & dad so hard Ava: and mine, they say the twins were an accident but they probably would've broke up if they hadn't have had them at that time so Grace: mhmmm Ava: ugh Ava: I'm just heated knowing how hard I'm gonna have to defend this Ava: like I've got myself pregnant Grace: don't even joke, she trapped that poor boy so hard like Ava: seriously, he probably never wants kids again Ava: not that I've asked because it's been like a month or so and I'm not psychotic, thanks Grace: do you? not now obvs Ava: I don't know Ava: like, don't tell my mother but I don't actually meticulously plan every aspect of my life Ava: if I ended up at a place and time in my life where it felt right, I could see it Ava: but if I ended up living a different life where they wouldn't fit, I wouldn't and I wouldn't be 💔 about that Grace: 😂🤐 Ava: Do you? Grace: girl, I'm too freaked out to let a boy date me, I don't think it's gonna happen Ava: you won't be 16 forever Ava: and if Ro can manage it Ava: your mum and Drew are probably the only people to see her vaguely undressed in her life Grace: idk sometimes it's all I want & sometimes it's the WORST thing I could think of Ava: I get that Ava: I don't think its a thing you can overthink, 'cos it's not usually right or wrong Ava: so people just do it and have to deal, better or worse Grace: Yeah Grace: maybe I'll get like that with dating Grace: or you know, get so lonely that I won't care that people always leave Ava: 😔 Ava: You'll get there, whether there is living your best life with or without Ava: I'm defs getting left after this fiasco so I'll come 😭 to you in a few no doubt Ava: we're walking Frank rn, so gonna enjoy this whilst it lasts 👌🥰 Grace: UM no! He LOVES you remember, you'll come at me with your 😍 more like Ava: 🤞🤞 Grace: 🙏💜

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