#i��m not actually gonna die
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sweet, kook!reader vibes before rafe corrupts her entirely.
#💭 bunny thinks#in my insane yet humble opinion#rafe offering u a hit of his blunt n swears u won’t be so awkward once u take a puff -_-#like actually !! my heart is racing and i think m gonna die but thank u#definitely hangs the fact that he ‘broke u out of ur shell’ over ur head btw#I COULD GO ON……
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Great googley moogley it’s all going to shit! Every day becomes exponentially more terrifying!
And all perfectly timed to just right at the start of what’s supposed to be my adult life where I get my shit together and be useful and productive!
#we’re cooked#we’re doomed#idk the end is nigh or whatever god damn#I just wanna be able to live in my own house and draw a guy sometimes without the ever present threat of the horrors is that too much#apparently yeah cause houses aren’t achievable anymore but man#m a n#especially if you didn’t/couldn’t go to college and aren’t capable of working most jobs#doesn’t help there’s the chance some part of my existence might be suddenly illegal or extremely dangerous yippie!#the options are literally 1. people die 2. people die what the hell do you even do man#how the fuck is this the election I’m gonna get forced to be a part of we’re living in hell#and nobody around me believes it’ll get bad yay great oh so wonderful#I can’t wait to lose rights and cause millions of deaths regardless of who gets chosen#I think one of these days I’m literally just gonna die of stress#it’ll either be a stroke or a heart attack or cancer or uh well ya know#we’re fucked#we’re screwed#I wanna have some kind of an actually visible break down but ive suppressed everything so much that I don’t outwardly emote much anymore :)#and the constantly dissociating thing too I guess#if you ever think ‘oh yeah I can just think of guy in a situation that’s so cool’ don’t it’s a trap—#although tbh this would be significantly worse without it so uh law of equivalent exchange I guess#fuck fuck fuck anyway#not putting this in the main tags#definitely deleting this later#if anyone in my house got any hints that I may or may not have different opinions than them well uh I’m financially dependent on them so um#literally wouldn’t have anywhere to go if anything happened#oh we’re really in it now Simon#hell world#there’s like what 7 genocides going on too I hate everything I hate everything I hate everything#I can’t do anything to help anyone either cause I don’t have a job and I could get kicked out or treated badly at home for it#not that anyone thinks very highly of me at home anyway I am kinda family disappointment number 2 I pretty sure
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here are some meowrails i drew :33
drawing is so much fun when u dont worry about being good or not!!!!
#these are actually just traced and colored over pictures of me and my partner lolz#homestuck#fanart#nepeta leijon#equius zahhak#jamdraw#sorry for bad quality i cant help it#i love them so much they are one of my fav ships of ever actually#the rendering on these are so fucked up its so funny#not even m#ur not allowed to make fun of it tho#this is my first time posting art#i hope i dont die#equius is making the roblox chad face#that was an accident but like fuck am i gonna fix it
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breaking news: local idiot writer sits down for over four hours and writes nonstop, forgets to eat and do his chores for the day. more at five.
#i am like actually gonna die maybe#but also i had an idea last night for how to bridge the tiny gap problem in tgg chapter 11 so i had to sit down and do it.#and then bridge the other gap. and also entirely rewrite parts of f&m chapter 4#and rewrite the big emotional climax of chapter 11 also. only slightly but there were a few tweaks i wanted made#and that just leaves the evil cliffhanger for the end of chapter 11 and we're done! yayyy#i gotta go get a snack or something i missed lunch while i was busy slamming 6.5k words down
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it is beyond frustrating to see the loz series so dedicated to going in such a new & innovative direction in regards to gameplay, yet still so stagnant in regards to the story. like, sorry to be that person but the fact that it's 2023 & you STILL can't play as zelda in any of the main games is mind-boggling to me. even in totk, a major part of the story still revolves around rescuing- sorry, finding her. she has such a deep meaningful story (which is a step in the right direction, for sure!), but the player can only experience it secondhand as link. she is allowed to be a companion character, but only for the first 5 minutes of the 100+ hours you can spend in the game, as a little teaser for the OTHER companions you get much later (who pretty much all suck except tulin & sort of yunobo, but that's another post). we see her sacrifice, but we only get small snippets of the experiences that led up to that sacrifice. she is put through so much trauma & has to make this impossible choice, & we don't even get to grieve her properly or tell anyone what became of her. & by the end of the game, it doesn't matter because she's back to her regular old self, same as she was before she swallowed the stone, with no lasting physical or mental effects whatsoever, because why should her sacrifice actually have any meaning outside of how it served link? & before anyone argues with me for saying that, yes obviously it did have meaning outside of how it served link. but the way she is restored in the most ridiculous deus ex machina i've ever seen in a zelda game cheapens it severely. everything magically gets fixed by rauru & sonia, & just like link's arm, zelda is left no worse for wear, because of course we can't possibly have our main characters permanently changed by any of these horrific events they've lived through, oh no nothing like that.
link saves the day & gets rewarded with the beautiful princess.
this IS the basic story of almost every single zelda game & you can split hairs all you want, but it's the same with totk as well & i'm just so beyond sick of it. i think zelda (the character AND the series as a whole) deserves so much better than that.
#i'm not gonna pretend like the plots of most loz games aren't still good. especially botw/totk (although i prefer botw). because they are!#but i don't understand why they seem to be so stuck in this mindset of keeping zelda as a side character instead of letting her actually...#oh i don't know...do stuff? at least in botw/totk she's been given a more realistic personality than she's ever been afforded in other game#& she actually has some agency. but... what does that *really* mean when it still amounts to link having to rescue her?#i just want them to give her a character arc that we (either playing as her or as link) get to experience alongside her.#i feel like she's earned at least that much. but that would require nintendo to actually give a shit about her as a character#separate from link so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ guess i'll just fuckin die then lmao#princess zelda#c: the silent princess#c: princess of hyrule#the legend of zelda#tloz: totk#totk spoilers#totk posting#🎮 tag#this is worded so badly but i;m posting it anyway idc 😘#send tweet
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WELL JESUS FUCKING CHRIST
#PK;M BILL∆#EVERYTHING'S GOING TO SHIT AND I'M BACK FOR HELL KNOWS WHAT REASON#I'VE EXISTED HERE ON AND OFF SINCE 2013. FUN FACT.#ALL OUR FRIENDS ARE GOING THROUGH IT.#*WE'RE* GOING THROUGH IT TOO WE'RE IN HELL.#ONE GUY UP FRONT ISN'T VERY HAPPY WITH THE STATE OF ANYTHING. KEEPS ASKING IF HE CAN DIE YET.#AND LIKE I GET IT BUT ALSO NOOOO SIR WE AREN'T DOING THAT.#BE GLAD ROSEBUD ISN'T HERE SHI'D RIP YOU A NEW ONE FOR EVEN ASKING IF YOU CAN DIE YET. ANSWER'S NO BUDDY! SORRY!#I DO HOPE THINGS SETTLE DOWN SOON. THEY BETTER OR WHO KNOWS WHAT'LL HAPPEN.#MAYBE ONE OF US WILL SNAP AND START ACTUALLY KILLING FOR REAL#WHO'S TO SAY! WE'LL FIND OUT THOUGH!#I THINK I'M GONNA GO SIT IN THE SHOWER AND GET A TL;DR OF WHAT I'VE MISSED THE PAST DECADE.
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cw post / tags. sorry
i don't even know if i have the words
to express this
she's gone
and its all my fault
#~ . 🥀#half my brain wants to scream to cry to do something#the other half wants to lie here forever and wait til i go numb#im in such a state of shock rn i .m gonna throw up#for context#2 hours ago as of writing this i received news that a loved one committed suicide#i was one of the only people that knew she was severely depressed / suicidal i shouldve seen the signs#i shouldve helped her more or called her or told someone#i was a coward. i couldn't.#and because i willingly did nothing to stop someone from dying#i am compliant. therefore . its my fault shes dead#.#this isnt some story where you can rewrite the ending#this is real life#and now i watched someone i love die and will have to live with the guilt of knowing i couldve done something but chose not to#the worst type of person.#i didnt deserve to be friends with someone like her.#no one did. she was smart and witty and oh so stubborn (affectionate)#we both loved the same bands. i don't know if i can ever listen to those bands the same way again#god i cant think#im actually gonna throw up#this is the 2nd time in my life something like this has happened. 3rd if you count all COD not just suicide#knowing something is wrong with a loved one but being too much of a wuss to tell anyone or help them or do anything useful#god im fucking worthless#my friends and family will vent to me and share their problems with me and ill say i care and tell myself i care#but givenmy behavior i don't think i can ever say i can#idoly standing by while people i love suffer#fuckin pathetic#this was a deliberate choice i made. this is all my fault#this is all my fault
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TWICE IN A ROW???? another girl got hired and fucking quit before even working i’M??????????????
#i’m actually gonna fucking die of exhaustion#so on top of literally getting KICKED OUT OF MY HOUSE AND LOSING MY DOGS#now i get ZERO days off#LMAO YAYYYYYY#i actually want to die like it’s not funny it’s REALLY not funny#apple babble 🍎#non fandom#i’m so tired i’m so tired#i m SO
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hexsquad with their palismen!! check out how hard i can cry!!
#the owl house#toh#luz noceda#amity blight#willow park#gus porter#hunter#i;m gonna be SO unwell when the finale comes out. pray for me#art#actual art#also let it be known that i would die for stringbean
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what if instead of messaging me in the middle of the night about your stupid fucking girlfriend and your stupid fucking problems with her you actually act like my fucking friend and message me like how you message everyone else in our group
#bye ignore my venting bigger problems what fucking ever#im sick of her ass she only messages us for us to help her with her fucking girlfriend problems like we arent even friends atthis fckn point#and i love her shes so funny whatever but god shes literally the worst because i just want to be friends i dont fucking care ab her goddamn#selfish ass gf thats shes obsessed with. be obsessed tell me about it but cant we be friends ab other stuff too#we used to be her 'favorite friend' cause we shared so many interests and we hung around what fucking ever but fuck that right#get a gf and just use us to help better yalls relationship without even telling her you're sharing her private msgs w us huh yeah sure#what fucking ever im so done with this bitch and i cant even get my contacts out cause i have long nails and im js poking my eye#AND SHE WOULD NEVER BE SORRY if our friendship fell apart she would tell everyone i was jealous of her gf or what ever i literally dont care#she was like an older sister before i dont get why getting a gf would have to change shit like ok good for u but what ab us#what about me its not even fucking fair like is it that hard to keep up w ur friends?? NO its fucking not#taking me so long to write a post bc im still fucking helping her with her stupid dumb selfish idiotic gf omfg#just BREAK UP i literally dont fucking care just leave her if she makes u unhappy its literally online tf is she gonna do to u nothing omfg#why am i the one being punished when shes the one with the stupid dumb gf that hates her and herself i dont fucking care i js want m friend#and i cant tell any of our mutual friends cause she dont do that to them its js me so itd be like im being dramatic#and like shit i guess i am but i dont care atp thats all she ever talks to me ab like ok i get it i helped u but stop jfc#but if i said that we'd never talk again bc what fucking ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! cause im just dramatic whatever#if u cant resolve these simple problems of communication on ur own then maybe u shouldnt be in a relationship idk js my thoughts! die#sry the 1 person who knows what xactly i mean is asleep and im so tired of getting late night msgs being like hii can u help me SHUT UP#id love to help if we were actually still fucking friends but we arent so js leave me alone bruh#post#nickpost#will delete in morning my mom keeps telling me to put my phone down bt i need 2 say smfh 2 some1#i hate change i hate slight differences in my normal day to day i hate everything i hate not having smth to rely on i hate change i hate it#sry im alg now im js sick of her ass js leave bruh#nimbhe my moms yelling im tired anyway i need to js isolate myself forever no problems if im on an island alone#living my best life in the shade drinking idk water or whatever and just talking to myself bc who even needs friends right!!!!!!!!#its 11:11 make a wjsh#adding more cz whatever im deleting this ltr anyway#its so clear where i stand with everyone cause its always close but not close enough friendly but not friends and i guess its the same w her#bye im out of tags etc whatever nobody matching my freak ever never comfortable in any friendships
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/trying to obliquely explain to the people around me that i am currently going through the closest thing to a manic episode i've ever experienced re: working on this gd animatic rn
#like how am i supposed to make them understand that i am Not a properly functioning human being right now#i am simply a vessel for m a k i n g a r t which m u s t be vacated from my brainspace A-S-A-P or i Will die#and unfortunately i am Not the quickest at doing the actual art part hsjsbdjsdj x'3c truly a tragedy#once again i have only consumed a coffee and a few handfulls of cheezits all day so far#i've been going to sleep at 3am & waking up at 9 that is NOT NORMAL FOR ME 😂😂😂#anyways. i'm gonna go actually get some real food at around a real dinner time lmfao
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The meower
#Queued... technically March 23rd?#I mean its march 22nd in oregon. but im not there rn lolz#either way im late. SORRY !! i forfor to queue on the 20th then i was on planes for like 21 hrs total#well no 5 of those were a layover @ the airport but#ANYWAYYYYY hi future me !!!#Howww was the trip? im on my first (second actually- its 4am of the second day if u coukd the arrival) day in Hong Kong#Its rlly hot and humid so I think im gonna die. BUT ITS ALSO SUPER COOL !!#Even just from the few hours I had out earlier its amazingggg. The lights and the buildings are so cool and theres such a fun but chaotic#atmosphere - idk if its just bcs its a big city or specific to HK?#I loveee large cities in general. New york. Tokyo. HK. thats all of the ones ive been to ig#I havent seen even close to all of HK. Im in central rn but we're goin to other parts later#Dad says the other parts are totally different- Like theres LOADS of gisnt buildings here (WAY MORE THAN U SEE IN ******!!! u know that tho#and theyre almost all residential of the ones I passed. Im sure theres offices n stuff i just didnt see them in the likd 20 minutes cab#ride lolz. U know all tuis already tho#ig what im getting at is HOW WAS THE TRIP !!!!! How was the rest of HK? WHAT WAS KYOTO LIKE??#augh soo many cool things.....#Also also !! Have you learned any mire katakana?#ive JUST learned the vowel line so maybe u lesrned the k line now too?#I cant imagine school is any different. OHH DID U FINISH THE M P 10P COMIC??#I started it and got abt one page done on the plane#I think it should only end up being two or three pages idk#Ohh !! Hows the new meds going !! I think u should have ur blood test done by now so do u know if it helped at all?#I hope soooooooooooo#Mm I think thats all I have to say .... NO WAIT HAVE U HUNG OUT W/ JACKIE??#i rlly want to b friends with her ^.^#Alright Thats all !! HAVE A GOOD DAYYYYYY I LOVE U#queue drop#weather report#WAIT EDIT DID THE TRIGUN VOLUME COME. HOW IS IT
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im so fucking overstimulated rn LMFAOOOOO the semester starting is going to kill me for REAL!!!!
#purrs#everyone is super great but also like... god. we're keeping our office door open and its so loud outside. we have ZERO private space in the#office and the interns are going to work in here now so me and the other professional staff cant like..h have conversations bc there are th#things the interns cant / shouldnt / arent ready to hear or know abt yet. (<- the irony of ME of all ppl saying that and holding firm to it#💀 but whatever.) and tmi as fuck but i have anxiety abt using public restrooms and over the summer they were all empty and now there are#people EVERYWHERE and i have to go so bad i feel like im gonna **** but all of the single stall bathrooms are constantly occupied and i#woudl rather die than use one of the multi stall ones so i guess i will just have to decompose until i get home 💀. this is a NOIGHTMAAAARE#and ppl are walking past the door and can see me and i feel so uncomfortable like. i want to jump out of my skin. at least no one can see m#screen anymore but idk how i feel abt them seeing my face. cosmo wanda i wish i had a private office and a private bathroom so fucking bad#its actually unreal. and we are going to be like this for the next 9 months LOL HELP!!!!!
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treated my first delta green game as a horror game. now after being handler for over a year for my second delta green game. i'm treating my third delta green game as a survival game.
#for m-epic i was expecting finan to drop dead anytime#but now after running the system for a year im here to BEAT THE SYSTEM#or die trying#im trying to have an optimal build#i have no idea if its optimal but ONE WAY TO FIND OUT#also all of hrothgar's fates other than dying are way more miserable interesting or both#havent even envisioned his actual death#only all the other lovely things that could go terribly wrong#gonna ride so hard on 3 activities per downtime#m-epic#helvetia#delta green#melati
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i need to novelpost more actually. i love him so much
#i keep reading his most recent interaction with ricah. adoption complete. theyre both so cute#ricah my sweet autistic owl. my son. my weird daughter#theyre (sniff) gonna tell so many cool stories to novel's grandkids when they get to icalacia and (sniff) its gonna be such a nice time#and nothings gonna happen to em on the way there. nuh uh.#specifically to ricah if anything happens to them im going to tear#m;y hair out#.....actually Can novel die again#sure the book can be torn apart but ..#can it just be... glued back together....???...??#being burnt to ash is another thing. but#hmmmm. things to ponder#thoughtz
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started fx’s pose last night and like. it is Sooooooo ryan murphy’s take on 80s ball culture but ohmygod ms mj rodriguez i love you i would die for you i love you so MUCH
#i was like ‘damn i know mj’s character is gonna be my fav cuz im biased as hell but i hope she’s at least an actually good character’#AND SHE ISSSSSS BLANCA I WOULD DIE FOR YOUUUUUUUUUUU#m
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