#i’ve reported it and everything
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this app is unusable. every day i try to scroll through hundreds of activity notifications. every time. every single time. i get a new notif. it boots me back to the top. ALL THE WAY. i have to fight my way down to see what’s happened on my blog. this has been an issue for at least a year if not more. literally i can deal with everything else but the sheer frustration of trying and trying to see what’s been reblogged or liked and repeatedly getting restarted every tenish seconds when someone likes a post. drives me up the WALL. i just close the app these days
#if this were happening on twitter or instagram it would start riots#here it’s just. fricking deal with it i guess#i’ve reported it and everything#and i KNOW it’s not just me this is happening to#vees train of thought#i love this app but some days it feels like they’re actively trying to drive us off#tumblr
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#everything’s fine and I’m fine I’m just saying this to say it rn#I don’t know what I would choose to do if he WAS still alive and I COULD still report officially#but a large part of me is really really glad that that mayor is dead. and I don’t ever have to hear him or see him at events or feel his#unusually long weird fingernails and iron grip while telling me to smile for pictures ever again#a part of me would love to confront him#but most of me is just glad he’s gone and can’t scare me or make life hell for my parents ever again#he never should’ve gotten away with all the things he did for so many years. but he did.#now that we’re here in the present. it’s a gift to get to move on from it knowing he’s not still out there at least#he was a gross greedy person with police and government power and never should’ve had those positions for so many decades like he did#but that being said. he can’t ever speak to or touch me again.#I’m not grateful now. I wasn’t grateful then after he stopped pretending either. but I’m glad I get to walk away and never live near#any subdivision or building or anything else with his name or picture#ever again. and he’s never able to touch another child ever. good riddance. you gross greedy poor excuse for a public servant.#now I’m gonna go try to write some of what I’ve learned into a fic to help my future self and others#who do you think came out on top at the end of the day mayor L?#I came out of this with friends and kindness and gentleness and healthy rage. you died just as greedy and fake and paranoid as you lived.#I hope you got better towards the end. for your wife and family’s sake.#I get to protect others from people like you for the rest of my life. and I’ll win.#because I deserve it and every current kid deserves it too.#shh katie
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‘everyone does not have the spoons to deal with all the News happening all the time! I don’t want to engage with it right now’ that’s fine. You also need to understand when the racists come out of the woodworks, I need to know if you’re a safe person for me to hang around
#Like. It’s okay for your white friends. It’s not okay for me.#Non white folks don’t have the luxury of choosing not to engage with reports of racism#Racism#UK politics#I’ve been phoning family and hoping everything is okay…#What a fucking disgrace; if someone’s been a boon to your society for over half a century don’t they deserve peace in their own house??#In their own neighbourhoods??? their own communities??
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hate hate hate the feeling of turning in a part of an assignment and being hella embarrased abt how it is :3 like, feeling someone’s just gonna email me like ”hey?? what the fuck ??? what are u doing here this is garbage” like yeah dude i dont know what to tell you, things did not go well this week
#doing one that’s like a bigger thing but has weekly deadlines#and this week hasn’t been good for that so it’s like very fucking pathetic of how little I got done#and it’s all basically shit anyways like i know it doesn’t work and won’t work with the way I’m going about it#also I’m only submitting the previous version bc i don’t even fuckin know what’s going on with this current one#like the code’s all bad and all over the place and I have no clue where i’m trying to go with it#so it’s like i basically didn’t get shit done this week#only made myself more confused#i need to take a step back and like really fuckin think what I’m going to do with this bc it’ll just get worse if I just keep trying to go#with this shitty thing i have on my hands rn#and also im like over an hour late already bc gotta write a weekly report and idk what the fuck to say like#’’oops sorry dude it’s shit rn i have no clue what’s going on but also dont have anything i could ask help with bc im too confused so it’s#just uhh this thing now; a mess <3’’#the way i’ve been handling this course like ?? uh oh will i ever have the audacity to step a foot to my campus ever again lol#yes im now writing this to procrastinate writing that weekly report thing#ughhh yes im hella positive rn all is shit#(also there was parliamentary election today and it didn’t end well so that might be why everything feels 5x more shitty rn)#april 2023#2023
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I am actually a really capable manager
#pulling reports to see how we can feasibly schedule people next month without losing money#and reflecting how in two years I’ve grown my program and the staff I’m directly responsible for so much#and the fact that I understand what data I need to start this conversation#and I know how to run the reports and table everything out#it’s just nice to beat back the imposter syndrome a little bit#like yeah I’m actually really fucking good at what I do
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me choosing to write 2k for a lab report in two hours instead of writing for haechan or something… life is so twisted
#BUT TO BE FAIR#i like writing lab reports#i feel like i’ve said everything ever abt haechan#i’m gonna reread some stuff today
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Niko, this is Techni. I am incredibly nervous for you as well as disappointed. Your actions are going directly against what Chester preached, that of kindness, love, compassion, and giving people a second chance. How many times did I talk to you about Jaime not being well over the last year and how you needed to take what he said with a large grain of salt? Don’t you remember talking so excitedly about the future of Linkin Park and how we had to trust the band? Or how I showed you how in love Chester was with Talinda? I thought you were my friend. You aren’t just disappointing me, you are disappointing Chester and Paul and you are no longer welcome in my server. I hope you get the help everyone knows you need
thanks but i dont believe in giving second chances when it comes to someone in a dangerous cult such as emily -- a cult that was responsible for abuse i suffered.
yeah i was excited for the future of the band until they put someone with dangerous beliefs as the new vocalist. she harassed rape victims. that's not something you can forgive.
sorry you think it's necessary to keep me out of the server.
#I guess being skeptical and critical is a bad thing#I guess supporting a cult member who harassed rape victims is fine in your eyes then??#and not everyone is gonna like Talinda. I see through her bullshit. she’s a user#when everything goes to shit and you all realize that what I’ve been saying is true don’t come begging for forgiveness#also the fact that it seems someone has been reporting to y’all the things I post is a betrayal of epic proportions#and I think I know who it is too#anyway! I don’t take back anything I’ve said#also don’t speak for Chester or Paul.#I actually communicate with their spirits and they have no issues with my thoughts and opinions#also back on the subject of Talinda.. you’re aware she tried to kill Chester back in 2016 right???#so no I don’t fucking like her
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hey does anyone know how we’re supposed to survive it all. asking for a friend
#she speaks#oh gang we’re really in it now#i don’t think i’ve ever felt this bad this deeply in my whole life lol#the burnout just keeps accumulating past any point i thought it could reach#and i can’t even pretend at work anymore#i’m so tired and these kids are so infuriating and it builds and builds every time they do something shitty#and i love them and it’s not their fault they’re just kids and they’re tired and it’s almost summer#but god i can’t fucking do it anymore#how exactly am i supposed to survive the next two weeks#the class i’m taking is too confusing and too fast paced#and i didn’t buy the textbook bc it’s 200 fucking dollars#and our apartment is always a mess#and i can’t keep up with friendships and feel like i’m constantly letting them down#and there’s nothing i can do to fix any of it#until the school year is over#bc at this point it takes everything i have just to get up and go to work in the mornings#but then i still have to somehow find energy to do other stuff too. and like actually teach.#i have to grade and do report cards and return materials and clean up my classroom#i need to complete a checklist the size of a novel before i leave for the summer#i need to keep the kids engaged but none of us want to be here#i need to start organizing to make next year easier#i need to fill out paperwork and spreadsheets and update my password and find time to feed myself and grade more papers and#vacuum the floors and scoop litter and clean up clutter and do dishes and wipe down counters#and i haven’t been able to fucking do any of it in months and left so many chores to my poor partner who’s also going through it#bc i have nothing left and i don’t know what to do!! i want to scream every minute of every day bc i’m so beyond overwhelmed the moment#i wake up in the morning but i don’t have time for a meltdown so i just keep going!!#i wish i had better words to explain how bad it’s gotten but the brain fog has gotten so so bad#i can barely think i can’t make decisions my memory and recall have gotten so much worse#i take my anxiety meds so often that they’ve stopped working#and yet i still worry that i’m making it up and being dramatic. anyway sorry about all this lol
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MY LIFE IS NOT REAL WHAT IS GOING ON
#GUYS#so for context before i get into the storytime i currently live at home with my mom and brother#and my mom came into my room at like 10:30 and said ‘i need you to go downstairs and be the adult right now because i can’t deal with this’#(my mom is 54 and i’m 20 but sure i’ll be the adult???)#so basically. my brother (13) gave our fucking address to some random person on discord who claims to be 11 but who the fuck knows#keep in mind my brother was born in 2011 so he’s grown up with the internet his whole life#and he’s been told countless times by my entire family not to give out personal information online but he has done it multiple times#anyway he says he and his friends from school have been talking to this ‘kid’ on discord for like a year#and none of them know him irl bc he lives in rhode island or something but they’ve apparently been on video calls with him and seen his face#so there’s a good chance he actually is a kid but i personally don’t trust anything online anymore so i’m not totally convinced#but anyway he apparently sent my brother what looked like a youtube link but when he clicked on it it gave this kid his ip address#i have no idea how that shit works or if that’s possible but that’s what he’s saying#and then my brother was arguing with this kid bc i guess he’s racist?? and the kid was like ‘just remember i have your address’#and my brother is being super vague about everything but i guess the kid implied he was going to send a swat team to our house or some shit#so my brother freaked out and called the cops and since my mom wanted me to be the adult i had to go sit downstairs and wait for them#and let me tell you it was so fucking embarrassing standing there while my brother told the cop this insane story#and while my brother was inside getting his phone the cop asked me ‘so what’s the deal do you think this is legit or just kids talking shit’#like bro don’t ask me i have no idea what the fuck is going on and i’m so sorry you had to come to our house to deal with this 😭#anyway he’s going to file a report so if the cops get a call anytime soon about a murder or something happening at our house—#—they’ll call me or my mom to ask what’s going on and make sure it’s not this fucking kid from rhode island swatting us#so that was my night! what the fuck#i’ve never regretted moving back home more than i do right now#lj.txt
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HEY IS ANYONE ELSE GETTING PORN SPAM ON THEIR DASH???
@staff what the fuck???
#what the FUCK is wrong tumblr???#they’re tagging everything!#I’ve blocked and reported three in the past 5 minutes.#tumblr#tumblr feedback#spambots#this is getting ridiculous#dashboard#tumblr dashboard
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my disability support pension got approved
#leah.txt#it’s been like half an hour since i got the message and i’m still in shock like idk how to process it#like it’s been so many months since put in the claim and had all the paperwork from my specialists and everything and it just doesn’t feel#real rn like i’ve been dismissed and brushed off by so many doctors and then this government contracted doctor that i had an appointment#with last week assessed my condition as severe and like i just felt seen for once…and her report obviously working cause now it’s been#approved like i’m just like i don’t know how to react at all i’m wow like it’s been so so long of doctors mistreating me and brushing me off#and just people in my life not believing that things are really difficult for me and just idk it’s validating? it’s reliving? idk
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ok i figured it out
#what if i went on monday before classes…..#i’ve only ever got my nails done once years ago and it wasn’t anything huge she just painted them with regular nail polish#and it was the tech my mom and sister go to it was nice and everything but also that women has known my mom since before i was born#so it was kind of like just visiting an aunt#and im really bad at making hairdresser small talk to this might even be worse oh god#📓#whatever if i do get them done i’ll report back o7
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bayern, sweetie, i’m so sorry. i’m so sorry that an ugly ass bitch like freund would even suggest to bring ole gunnar solskjær as your interim coach, oh my god.
#this board thinks everything’s a fucking game#and let me be quiet about everything else that i’ve been reading bc why are people trusting bild with any ‘inside info’ they report now#🤨
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Had some wine feeling good made a really shitty bowl in ceramics class this morning that I’m really worried has a bunch of air holes in it and had a really crappy therapy session where I didn’t talk too much but was honest about some other stuff which is good overall I guess but now I’m doing drunk crochet and watching the Duggar family documentary and probably going to stop watching soon once they start talking about the awful stuff but yeah day in the life of a woman doing her best I guess
#like both sides of my family are either Irish catholic. converted assimilation catholic. or part Jewish but raised catholic.#but my mom read the Boston glob report so I wasn’t baptized or anything and despite her born again phase I’ve never really been religious#so the thought of growing up in that environment is like I can’t imagine the pressure oh my god#like I’ve had Mormon friends and have some friends who were raised homeschool Christian married young and all and like#i don’t know it’s just wild how different our lives are like I’ve got a problems and def inherited the guilt complex thing for sure but like#I also never got told to submit to anyone or that god was watching#or to be modest or any of the purity stuff beyond normal patriarchy stuff#like I’m not saying my life is better but I didn’t do church after age 5 and only go to funeral masses so I like the comfort of like#doing sign of cross and saying Hail Mary and all bc it provides structure for grief but beyond that I can’t imagine living with all of that#these are very long tags with no real point beyond wow. that’s literally bananas to me. but did I mention I’m a little drunk#and even then my family isn’t like hardcore catholic. my grandma and her siblings skipped church to get donuts bc no farm work on Sunday#and my dad grew up like doing fasted mass and everything but heard the 2000s Harvey milk speech and realized gay ppl are okay#and then rest of extended dads side is like catholic but vote blue and think human rights are good and all#my mom has a student who’s like very traditional catholic like she was trying to teach him math and whatever#and the live coverage of waiting for pope confirmation was on tv the whole time#and he fights with her about evolution and learning about the existence of other religions and everything#so I guess even in my own family like. everyone’s down with basic science and civil liberties which is even weirder for me I guess#like not even among fundamentalists like just regular Catholics I’ve had a pretty liberal upbringing re faith. it’s just wild to me#to see the differences of worldview#and even non religion stuff was pretty liberal overall despite living in pretty red area. idk it’s just wild how different life can be
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Everyone’s been watching bluey so is it ok for me to say i unironically like octonauts??
#look that show slaps#The creature report song is a banger#I love the veggimals#and ever since I was a kid I’ve been obsessed with animals#I used to want to be a zoologist but realized that was not what I want to be for uh reasons#but I still find animals fascinatint#why would I watch a nature documentary when I can watch an episode of octonauts and know everything I need to about blob fish or narwhals??#octonauts#nerd out#nerd-out#That is a really good quality kids show in my opinion
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gotta grab my soapbox. okay, 1) you guys really don’t get the meaning of “enemies to lovers” because i see some recs where they jst don’t get along before they fall in love. they aren’t enemies until they are actively working against each other to bring abt each other’s downfall. this can be done w varying stakes, but simply jst finding a person annoying doesn’t make them your enemy. and 2) it’s not even a good trope because nobody can write it properly 😭
#memorie.txt#WHEW been holding onto that one for a WHILE#best enemies to lovers i’ve read was the neurologist snuggling exotic birds into the country and his wife#who actively reported him to the police and proceeded to tear down everything he worked for#and they were jst comedic bg charas… imagine my heartache when i realized i could’ve had a whole novel abt them…#i don’t like most tropes because i don’t think you should rlly go into something like ‘i’m writing x trope’#like yes okay. what STORY are you writing though because i don’t fucking care about the trope#it should happen naturally 😭
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