#i’ve had it for four years now
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august 21.24 | the love i have for this shirt is unmatched 😭
#me#my face#i’ve had it for four years now#i’ll never get rid of it#idc#dean’s face is everything 😭#castiel looking up at it all#sam neutral in the middle#i think it’s a good summary of the show#ANYWAY#hope you’re all doing good 🫶🏼#stay safe & be good#des bisous ♥️
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mentioned an x-men fic i was reading to my younger sibling and they said “why are you reading fanfiction from 2012??”…
this fic is young enough to be the grandchild of some of the fanfiction i read
#spirk is the forefather of all fanfiction#cherik#mcsummers#spirk#star trek#x men#xmfc#i’ve gotten back into my x men obsession#it’s led me back into the same rare pair obsession i’ve had for years#hank mccoy x alex summers entered my brain the moment i watched x men first class when i was like 10#it pops up every once in a while again#there’s like a few hundred fics and i swear i’ve read them all four times at least#i guess i have to write some now but that’s not the same
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Aradiabot wig didn’t come in time for this weekend 🥲 So I threw together a Jinx instead
#I’ve had the wig for years now just needed a restyle#made the top in like an hour with some old scrap fabric I had lying around#plus a four dollar nerf gun from Goodwill and badda bing badda boom#jinx#arcane
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DRAGON PRINCE S7 DAYYYYYY
#6#The Dragon Prince#I got the song from last season’s trailer stuck in my head#So I decided to use it#Felt so nice to not paint something again like when was the last time I did that even#I’m not all the way done yet I’ve watched up til ep 5#I’ll refrain from yelling about spoilers (*gritted teeth* even though I reallllly want to)#Hrgrg anyway but like idk why S6’s trailer just got stuck back in my head#Something about it is just so grand and cool#One of the best trailers for anything ever whoever made it applause to them#I think I was just watching it bc I don’t want this beautiful series to end. I mean I know there’s a chance it might not for a bit but like#This is the precipice if we get new seasons or not#Like I was there when Aaron told the cast at 2020 comic-con that they’d get seven seasons I felt so happy for them#And now it’s four years later we’re actually here#It just has had the best story characters world and goddamn representation!! in any animated property I’ve seen#Ok I’ll make a bigger piece later probably and get sappier in those tags but for right now here is an angsty Callum
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my brain is so fucking stupid. I was bullied in fourth grade, my friends were like “actually erm we don’t want to be friends with you :/“ on the second to last day of eighth grade (even though we were all zoned for different high schools and would never see eachother anyway). And because of that my brain is, as my therapist and mother (two different people,) theorized, “hyper vigilant for any perceived social ostrichaztion”. The thing is it’s fucking stupid about it. Sure it has the generic “uwu your friends probably hate you secretly” thing.
But it also. Like: I’ll see a post that is somewhat negative towards a thing I like or a trait I even remotely identify with (including stuff as vague as ‘nervous’ or ‘writer’) and I’ll be like “yeah that makes sense” or “I don’t agree but I also don’t care”. But then my brain will repeat the negative phrase on loop for like a week. And will trigger physical reactions (crying, shortness of breath, etc) in response to it. I’ve actually had public panic attacks over things I give 0 shits about because my brain is a fucking helicopter parent.
#there’s one fic writer I love the work of#Who’s made a lot of good posts for a semi niche ship I like#And they’ve done nothing wrong but some of their posts (which again are not morally wrong my brain just sucks ass) have caused this#To the point I had to unfollow them#And a mutual reblogged one of their new posts that has the hallmarks of something that could cause this#(Reason I made this post actually. My thought is that venting about it will get my brain to stfu)#Thankfully since most of their stuff I look at is related to this ship so for now I’m safe#Because I’m currently fixating on oliretta and benslie ship wise (and in general I have rewatched like most of parks and rec)#(Within the span of a week. It’s a problem)#I’ve been on/off obsessed with this ship for like two (?) years so chances are I only have#Maybe four months to get my brain to calm the fuck down#vent#vent tw#vent post#mental health#mental health issues#anxiety disorder#Idk if this is a result of it but I do have clinical anxiety so that could be part of it#bullying#btw fuck people who say “bring back bullying” in response to people being cringe#Like that shit can effect people#And god forbid a teenager or young adult be confident about what they like#Instead of having issues likely caused by being treated like shit by their classmates when they were younger#stress#actually mentally ill#mental illness#actually anxious#bullying mention
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washed my hair for the first time in about a week and I think I get it now
#also why the fuck do I have so much hair (<- hasn’t cut their hair in almost four years)#anyway I’m still convinced that because I am an unlikeable & burdensome person to be around the only way I can make being friends with me#worth the effort is by doing things for other people so they don’t have to worry about them. which is why I may finally be on the brink of#burning out academically ✌️. I suspect this is because I’ve never had a friendship last more than 2-3 years. What to do abt it idk.#at least my hair is clean now 👍
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I just looked at the price on the back of a book I’ve had for a bit over a decade and it was four. fucking. dollars. Just four with no taxes. No extra 97cents or something before taxes. Just a round number that you would add taxes to.
I googled the price of a new edition and it was almost thirteen! Not an even thirteen, it was like 12.96 or something. Close enough that it’s basically thirteen but if you’re adding multiple items together to try and get the price on a purchase with more items it would add more confusion.
#emma posts#it was also a bit difficult to find a new copy on my phone#the edition I have was selling for wildly varying prices as a vintage book now#but that’s just a kids chapter book from a fairly large publisher#I know inflation happens and stuff but holy shit#buying things at the book fair makes so much more sense now#I bought that for 4$ plus taxes at the schoolastic book fair#it was maybe 12 years ago?#I could look at the publishing date for a better idea#the series had just switched publishers and the first few were being re-released at the time#before the new publisher and the author finished the series#four dollars though#I had to check the book because I know the current price of many paperbacks and I knew that series was still in print#but what lead to this was the price tag falling off an old brush I found from like. 2009 or 2010#and the tag on this very large brush was seven dollars#which seemed cheap so I looked at current brush prices online but since the exact same brush isn’t being sold and brush prices vary more#it was a bit harder for me to get an idea of it. books though. books I know#I’ve even bought stuff from that publisher recently (they have a lot of novel and comic translations)#but it also struck me how the old price tag was an even four and an even seven dollars but all new ones had 97 or 98 cents#that ten dollars from helping out grandma wouldn’t have even gotten me one book with modern prices#but back then I could get TWO#even just seven could have gotten me a book and some fun school supplies back then#to have that experience now you would need to give your kid a 20$#I understand inflation okay? I am just taken off guard rn and having realizations#I’m going to add to this post again. when I say wildly varied vintage prices I mean WILDLY varied#one dude was trying to sell it on Amazon for 55$ but on eBay it was 4 to 5$#I bought the next three books in the series from that same print. signed. for 13$ together#I had older editions of those and wanted a full series of just the ones that were being re-released during my reading time
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at this point i’m going to no preamble message my high school german teacher on discord and just say bestie. help.
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i never feel unsafe when i go on walks with tucker because i know at the end of the day he will protect me (even though he’s a big softie) but today yall i was real worried!
#i walked with tucker to a sonic near my house that i’ve walked with him a million times#got him an ice cream like i’ve done a million times! and have never felt more on edge on a walk with him ever in the four years i’ve had him#like the vibes were a hundred percent not there#i typically let tucker eat his ice cream there let him drink some water ect to cool down a little bit#at first i could kinda see the guy watching out of the corner of my eye and i thought oh this location doesn’t have pup cups maybe he’s#never seen a dog eat ice cream but then when i went to go throw something away i noticed this man fully PRESSED to the glass watching us so#i was a little antsy and moved to a table a little closer to the outer sidewalk then i hear a door close and realize he is outside :)#and here’s the thing about tucker tucker is VERY aware when i am anxious and this is a dog will not let anything come inbetween him and his#ice cream but tucker kept stopping and looking over at the guy then back at me taking long pauses from his ice cream at one point moving#over to stand in front of me with his ears perked#when tucker got mostly done i was like ‘oh good boy are you full? let’s get you home’ and as i stand up to leave the guy comes closer and#starts asking me questions about tucker and thank GOD another customer came up looked at us and immediately started asking the guy questions#because i was genuinely contemplating running out of there#but home and fine now and obviously it was at a sonic by an intersection nothing was gonna happen but i was mad worried and i am forever#grateful tucker is a very intuitive animal because if homeboy did his usual ‘only thing that exists in this world is ice cream’ schtick it#could’ve been different (he was mad at me about the ice cream afterwards btw but we had already crossed the street)#eris: text#tucker: text
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My seventeenth photo celebrating Christmas
(Also kinda like part 2 of my 10th photo)
#gladion#elite four siebold#pokemon sun and moon#pokemon ultra sun and moon#pokemon xy#my screen recording#fyi siebold is the only Xmas sync pair I have ;u;#probably cuz it’s always this time of the year where I’m trying to scout for someone else#one year ago I had to pity pull NC Nate#and I also tried to pull for NC Rosa but didn’t realise her last day had passed when I remembered my last chance/s to get her TAT#as of now I’m trying to get the SC pairs which I’ve also failed to get most of#anyways this month went by so quick it doesn’t even feel like Xmas is soon#I wonder who the new year pairs are gonna be
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god you guys make all the bullshit worth it <3 love u
#i’m in such a different place than i was this time last year#don’t get me wrong i am TERRIFIED for next year and the next four years#that fear and helplessness hasn’t gone away whatsoever#but specifically about the sao fandom and my little life i’ve managed to carve for myself online… it’s much better#and it sucks i’ve had to cut so much out for it to be manageable! but! i’m alive!#(unrelated tags >) today i took a pregnancy test and oh boy that never gets less gross feeling when you have ocd germphobia#literally set the timer on my phone and then boiled my hand under hot water and soap and hand sanitizer 😭#and now i’m sitting curled up with some ice cream and my cat and i’m reading#reading foreign faction btw. i’ve got so many opinions and questions and it’s so heartbreaking that we’ll never know the truth#anyway. send some asks if you would like to ive missed you guys#and i’m sorry ive been so absent lately#WAIT DISCLAIMER I AM NOT PREGNANT AGAIN NOR ARE WE CURRENTLY TRYING i just had a test 😭
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Holy shit it’s gonna be alright. My parents want a diplomatic, CIVILIZED meeting almost akin to a peace treaty, to occur in a few days.
Yes yes yes yes
#exjw#ex cult#I hadn’t anticipated exactly how much I had leveled the playing field when I became an adult and got myself THREE reputable jobs#I went into that conversation verbally loaded for bear and prepared to run to the hospital for asylum if things got ugly#They didn’t even ask me questions yet; they just said they’re prepared to hear me out and make changes#It’s wild how differently they’re treating me now vs. when I was sixteen#They’re more scared of what I’ll do than I am of what they’ll do. I’ve never had it like this before#Not that fear is good… but it feels much better to be in this kind of situation with some control and agency#It feels good to have power; and I will not abuse that power to needlessly make them feel worse than they need to#because I am better than they were four years ago
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my period app being like ‘late for 38 days!!’
baby girl, i haven’t had a period, since this time in may, but alright <3
#surprise i’m pregnant!!!#imaoooooon nahhhh#but my body is weird and i don’t get super regular periods bc my weight is constantly up and down and for probably a whole host of other#reasons#i’ve never been regular in general#but like missing a month is considered pretty normal#i swear i didn’t have a period for like a year once#and it’s been like nearly four months(?) now soooo 🤷🏻♀️#like i’m fine otherwise#idk what my current weight is but like i don’t think it’s like dangerously bad rn#i don’t like to think about it too much bc my brain LOVES to latch on to that shit and not let go and make me feel like shit#just in general i have a hard time keeping weight on#and like it’s not that eat too little (except sometimes i do oops)#bc like half the time i eat the same as my brother and he’s like 10 stone or something#i have been flip flopping between 8 and 9 for the last couple years#but it’s not like all my problems would immediately be solved if i were heavier (using that term lightly)#but like not eating does my symptoms worse bc like obviously not eating = lack of energy#but like eating doesn’t make my body magically fixed and function like a able bodied person’s is what i mean#but anyways i don’t think i’ve had a normal menstrual cycle in like 5+ years#so hehe x#gwen rambles#gwenposting
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You seem like a reckless driver by the way . I think you’ll hit at least one deer in your life time . Y’know ?
WHEEZE yknow my mom hit a moose once. and my dad wrecked a vehicle hitting a deer. and my sister too except it was the curb and the day after succeeding her drivers test–
#probably the least accurate vibe I’ve gotten off me though lmao#I’ve had my liscence for nearly four years now and the only damage I’ve ever caused to a vehicle was both minimal and you will never prove#it was me uwu#/j /j XD#but nah I fucking h a t e driving im an incredibly cautious driver lol#the most reckless thing I do in my driving is play my music really fucking loud but even then I try to be cared about it haha#I mean deer are just lil bitches like that so I probably /will/ end up hitting one at least once in my life…… but it’s yet to happen!#asks!#teamfortresstwo!!
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Outertale, Epic Mickey Rebrushed, The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles, Hi-Fi Rush, and Hollow Knight: Please play us, we’ve been in your folder for a while now :(
Me: Not now sweeties, Wizard101 free membership is only available for a short period of time and I must defeat Malistaire before Friday the 13th
#i have not picked up hollow knight once and I’ve had it for two years now#anyway stop complaining Epic Mickey I’ve had you for four days#you can wait a week#ace attorney… I’m sorry#wizard101
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heol
#⠀ᶻᶻ⠀turn it up!⠀#unrelated its ltr not even what i linked but chasing time - azealia.. Dontttt omg ts is so facking good who made that beat!!!!!!!!!!#ANW. if breakaway is minhui then this is yijun. mayb the single ver more than true romance ver actually.. it js sounds more raw#i rly wanna talk abt why he hates jaehee#bc i’ve yapped abt minhui and talked abt DY/JY sort-of parallels in replies somewhere i found it the other day#and ik the ‘he doesn’t fit’ is what's been written (in pieces + that yt rundown i think) but likee it goes deeper than that#im gnna struggle to put it into words properly but im talking to myself so i can not make sense as much as i want thanks#ok. so he goes on and on abt how jaehee ruined BS bec he ‘didn’t fit’ into the four that they were without him but. he’s lowk projecting#he joined JG in 2016 - jiyeol mai hyeonmin and KOHEN were all there before him. jy’s in ‘08 mi + kh in 2010 + hm 2011#they chucked their whole childhoods away for jg - and in reward they were meant to be jg’s first boygroup#they ltr would’ve debuted in 2013 if it wasn’t for hyojoo being like hey! this is kinda weird lol! a 17 yo two 15 yos + a 13 yo is weird!#yj was late as HELLLL 2the party. he wouldve been left as a trainee while JY MI KH HM debuted as 9ANTHER if it wasnt 4 The Kohen Mai Thing#aka they started messing around in like 2014 while jy pretended he wasnt abt to crash out and hm had to listen to jy trying not2 crash out#then it got real bad like august 2016 and all of a sudden they HATEDD eo they couldnt even b in the same room#(aka. kh wanted him mi wanted jy and said Lollll i hate u die)#all in all: kh kicked off debut team. spot opens up for yijun right as he enters the company. he’s not cut out for ts at all#he was lonely back home and now he’s lonely here and now apparently he’s in a debut team with 3 guys who know eo and he wants to die#hyeonmin like smiles at him like ONCE during practice and he latches on fastttt this leech 😭😭😭 tries to worm his way in via hm#spoiler! it only half works theres sand under his skin he hates it all he’s not meant for them he needs a gun#it gets better over the years and jy + mi sorting their shit out & cutting off kh completely makes yj feel wayy more secure#and then they debut even if it is after yoonhae’s literal death. and then jaehee comes in like Hiii i like to act and colour ^_^#HE WNATS TO DIEE ITS HIM ALL OVER AGAIN!!!!!!! cant even bear to look at him#like the walls are UP he’s not letting himself become kohen. and when jh tries to get close to min - ltr exactly like he did.......#ITS NEVER BEEN MORE BONSOVERRRR#so there. he’s mean and hates him and wants him dead for that. Yayyyy#kh has def said some nasttyyyyy shit to yj too ijbol like mind you he didnt leave jg until jy did! THIS YEAR!#the song. is abt himself. him to him in the mirror. to kohen. to jaehee. he’s mad at shit that’s never happened and he’s never gonna stop#the ‘why did you fall for me’ though.. that’s him to min like#he feels like he’s conned him into it - bec the first couple months he only rly was around him to try and get into the inner circle#and then he fell in Lol. Gay
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