#and like it’s not that eat too little (except sometimes i do oops)

[gregmarriage]

my period app being like ‘late for 38 days!!’

baby girl, i haven’t had a period, since this time in may, but alright <3

[ellana-ravenwood]

“Batman, you need to-IS THAT A BABY ?!” - Batfam x Fem!reader

Synopsis : Bruce and Batmom bring their newborn daughter to the Watchtower, so she can meet their friends (or vice versa). Includes an overprotective Damian, League members who cannot believe the Batman is smiling, and other shenanigans.  

Oop, I’m back (?). My dudes. It’s been TWO YEARS since I last posted here. Two. Years. I posted like, two life update...don’t know if some of y’all saw it, but long story short : I got married, I have a son now, and everything is going so well in my life that I didn’t really need the validation I got from writing online...Buuuuuuuuuuuuut, I still love writing. And so, after quite a long break, here I am :). Hope you will enjoy this, don’t hesitate to let me know if you do : 

Please, do not repost my stories anywhere else, under any other form. Do not translate and then repost them either. Thank you.

My masterlist : @ella-ravenwood-archives

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“You’re evil, you know that right ?” You say, raising an eyebrow.  

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, my love.” He answers, a small smile on his lips. You turn to him and...Oh that smug look, that smug look you loved so much. He definitely DEFINITELY knew what he was doing. 

And that it was utterly...evil. 

“It’s going to be FUN !” 

Ah, and here’s his little devil. Damian himself. He loved this. Partly because he thought it was funny to mess with everyone, partly because he liked showing that you guys were a family. 

“They won’t believe their eyes !” His little voice kept going, followed by a big roar of laughter that sounded, by all means, more childlike than devilish. 

“That they won’t, they always seem so surprised when Bruce acts like a human.” 

Jason. Still not calling Bruce “dad” (except sometimes, by “accident”, and even him don’t realize he did), he’d only slowly been back at the manor, with all of you. And, for sure, a certain important event which happened about four months ago made it so he came back to live at home.

Dick chuckled and added : “Who would blame them ? We’re talking about a man who eats his burgers with a knife and fork !” He gestured to his father with his left thumb, his other hand shielding part of his mouth as if he was telling them all a secret, as if he was trying to be discreet, so his dad wouldn’t hear...Always quite the little clown, that eldest son of yours. With his exaggerated mannerism, and that sparkle in his eyes, in his smile. 

“I’m certain some of them thought he was genuinely a cyborg for YEARS” Tim added, quite seriously, his tone the opposite of his older brother (and that was just his way of joking...you think). And honestly ? Yeah, you were pretty sure some of your friends at the JLA thought your husband was a robot, at one point. 

Oh yes. That’s where you were going, to the JLA’s headquarters. To execute Bruce’s plan. Quite the evil plan indeed. 

“Hell, even I thought he was one before I met you guys !” Duke chimed in, and that made Cassandra smile widely, as she shook her head up and down pointing at Duke as if to say : “what he just said”. 

And in a very Bruce manner, your husband kept a straight face, ignoring his children’s teasing. Only you, saw that twinkle in his eyes, that smile that might not reach his mouth, but was definitely dancing in those bright blue eyes. 

Oh yes. Yes, your friends were in for quite the surprise. 

************

Meanwhile, in the Justice League headquarters : 

“Oh, hey ! Look, Batman’s zeta tube is turning on ! We haven’t seen him in a while right ?”  

Indeed they haven’t. Because, well, let’s put it this way : Batman’s wife just had a baby. 

A baby girl (finally, right ? You and Cass weren’t TOO outnumbered anymore). 

And Batman had been VERY busy doting over his baby girl. 

Batman had been busy being Bruce Wayne. 

Just a man, who thought he’d never be happy again, not knowing how to handle all those feelings he had for his wife (for you), for his children. 

That was happiness then, right ? 

So, yes. Batman hasn’t been much at the JLA’s headquarters lately. But your husband thought, it was finally time to go see his friends a little bit. He knew they were all up there, because it was their monthly reunion (once each month, they gathered to talk about the state of the world, the universe, what threat lingered, what lurked beyond...and to get very drunk, and see their friends, the only ones who knew what it meant to be a “hero”). 

And that what’s made him particularly evil. 

He knew, they would all be there. He knew what their reaction was going to be. After all, his memory was amazing, he definitely hadn’t forgot the way they reacted the first time they saw you, the first time they learned he had children (childrEN, plural !). 

And he knew they were a little worried about him. 

He had missed their last three reunions, and only answered : “Everything is ok” to their messages asking if he was alright (they hadn’t dared to go see if he was indeed ok, because last time they did that, they found him bed ridden with all the bones in his body broken, and he got so mad at them for butting in his business he worked twice as hard when he was fine again, and didn’t talk a WORD for months...that was, of course, years ago, before you were in his life, but the experience was still in their minds and so, they decided to respect his privacy, he would come to them when ready). And he never pushed his “red button”, him, or anyone in the family. 

They just assumed he was busy, they hoped it wasn’t anything bad. 

Yes. They were worried. For him. For you. For your kids. For Alfred. For your dogs, your cats, your cow...They. Were. Worried. 

And Bruce knew. 

You told him, when your pregnancy was confirmed, to tell his friends. That they would be happy. But after his own initial happy thought, his surge of hope and love at knowing he was going to be a dad again, he started to make his plan. 

Why tell them, when you could toy with them ? 

“They deserve it.” He told you, and you weren’t sure if they did, but you weren’t about to fight him on that. After all, you too, thought it could be amusing. Amusing to hide your pregnancy, making up excuses as to why they couldn't come see you, and you didn’t come up the headquarter. Amusing, to even hide it quite expertly from any form of news (Bruce was a MASTER of disguise, not only for himself), so it would be a real surprise. 

Amusing, to have your little girl in secret, with only your family. Amusing, but also what you wanted. For this good news to be just between you, your children, and Alfred. Your close family. Because you had too few things that just were yours. 

This had to be yours. Your thing, your secret, your own happiness. Yours, and only yours. And you found it was good, that you guys spend the first few months of your daughter’s life only between yourselves. 

It was nice, to go out “disguised” as a normal couple, and show your daughter Gotham (and how her little eyes already tried to take the entire world within them). 

It was nice, to live in total privacy for a little bit. 

So, yes, you had been a little selfish. And he had, too. You knew it wasn’t just to prank his friends, he kept it all a secret. That it was also to have some quality time with his family. To spend the first few months of his daughter’s life being the only one being utterly smitten with her. 

Though, this last thing wasn't true...You were, too. And your children ? Let’s just say your daughter had not been alone ONCE since she was born. And she seemed to love it. 

Whenever she made the slightest sound, smiled, laughed (or cried), they were there, Bruce was there, absolutely loving that little baby. 

She was almost 4 months old now, and Bruce thought that the gist had to be up. What scale did he use to measure this amount of “readiness” ? You had no idea. You thought he was just now ready to share his happiness with his friends, and not just his close family. 

And so here you were, after months of secrecy carefully crafted and orchestrated by your husband, in the JLA’s headquarters, along with your family, the little new addition to said family in your husband’s arms. 

Evil. Your husband was downright evil. 

He knew that what was about to happen would have a massive impact on his friends. He. KNEW. 

And as the zeta tube brought all your family up there, you knew that as he saw their faces, your husband was a little TOO happy with himself for his little “prank”. 

************

“Batman, are you al- IS THAT A BABY ?” Very typical, very in character : the first to react was Flash himself. 

None of the other noticed, and they seemed inclined to think Barry had lost his mind but then...

Bruce’s face didn’t move an inch, he just held that little “package”, and had his same stoic expression except...Except there was a little hand grabbing at his chin. 

Then another hand appeared out of that bundle Batman carried, with a bat plushie bunched in a tight fist, shaking it and...Cooing. 

Cute little sounds, and the way- EXCUUUuuUuuuUSE ME ?

The way Batman just softly looked at her, the way his cold expression was replaced by a tender one as he lowered his eyes to her ??

WHAT ?! 

They knew. They knew he had THE softest spot for his family. They knew his scary aura greatly dimmed when he was around his wife and children. They knew that when they weren’t there, he was only made of shadows. They were his light, his salvation. 

They knew he didn’t have the same face expression, when they were around.

Well, when they were looking at him...Barry swore that Batman loomed around his family, standing menacingly behind them, his eyes cold and calculating as if he was ready to fight any seconds to save his loved ones, and then whenever they turned to him his feature would instantly soften. He will ALWAYS remember the first time he met little Dickie, 9 years old and so full of joy and life, and how whenever he would look at Batman and talk to him, said Batman got a softer expression somewhat, but then when Dick turned around, Batman looked about to murder them whenever they came too close from him. 

Once, Tim, also 9 at the time, years after the JLA met Dick, told Barry matter of factly : “He doesn’t kill people. He could break your knee caps though” in a very Tim fashion. The kid was serious. And had noticed the aura surrounding his dad, how it changed when he was around (he noticed more than his siblings, because for a while, Bruce had been really cold and distant with him, since he met him not long after Jason’s death..understandable. So he was the only one who had this sort of behavior aimed at him, the shield Bruce put in front of him to keep everyone away so he wouldn’t be hurt, the shield that now was lowered for them and only them). 

It was his eyes. His eyes that were always hard and cold, became different when looking at you or his children. 

Not to say that his family never exasperated him, or that he never had his “mask” around them. After all, Bruce’s stoic expression was his face by default. It’s just that he was often too focused. And that he spend years practicing hiding his emotions, practicing keeping a blank face. Because Barry also remembered seeing Dick perched on his father’s shoulders, letting himself dangle in his back, his head upside down, whistling and kicking his feet, and Bruce having this stoic mask on, concentrated. 

Anyway, they knew all that. It had been years, since Bruce finally trusted them enough to bring his wife here, and his kids. But yet, yet they were still surprised sometimes.

Like today. 

The picture of Batman holding a baby was...a little weird. 

Even if he opened up to them over the years, he was still mostly very cold, distant and aloof. You know, Batman. That’s just who he was. So sometimes, to see him so devoted to his wife or kids, it was odd to say the least. 

And right now, as he walked towards them with a baby in his arms, the shock was real. Damn it, will there be a day when the Bat didn’t surprise them with something ? 

How did none of them notice you were pregnant ? Proof again Batman was a master of his craft. And that little girl...

Oh your daughter was such a beaming ray of sunshine, that in his arms it was particularly a jarring image. 

The big scary bat, tall, broad shouldered, muscular in every way, his face void of expressions, holding a tiny baby who kept smiling at everyone around, and playing with her plushy. 

Odd. 

Yet, sweet. 

Were they surprised ? Yes. 

Were they a little mad he hid something (AGAIN) this important from them ? Definitely. 

Were they shocked that his daughter was so darn cute and smiling and laughing that much ? Not really, because you were his mom too. 

Were they happy for him ? For sure. 

Were they going to adore that little girl ? Probably as much as they adored his other kids already, which meant...yes. Yes they were going to. 

Damn that bastard Bruce. Always so sneaky. 

Hal, couldn’t help but think : “First, he’s not a vampire, then, he’s married with children, and now, he has that cute baby. This guy ??!!” 

***********

The initial shocked passed, and only after your children MOCKED all of your friends (you had to give it to Dick, he knew how to imitate them so well..and when Damian joined in ? Oh, oh it was a fit of laughter impossible to fight that attacked them), did they approach your daughter. 

“Her name is Martha.” Bruce said “We named her after my mother.” and it wasn’t his usual flat tone he used as Batman. No, it was a soft voice he usually only reserved for his kids. And the reason he was using it now ? Well. He didn’t want to scare his daughter, as he still held her. 

She beamed at him when she heard her name, and babbled some baby nonsense. She then turned towards all those new faces, and you saw Bruce’s hand hold her a little tighter. 

Your beautiful, sweet soul husband. He clearly was worried she’d be scared, meeting all those new people. Especially since they all wore mask. But Martha-

Martha let go of her bat plushy (which Damian caught before it touched the floor, rolling on the ground in a way you thought was quite comedic. Oh, that boy), and lifted her arms up towards- 

“What a sweet little girl !” Diana said with a voice you NEVER heard her use. You realized it was her “voice reserved for babies and domestic animals”, and it made you smile. It was higher than her usual voice, and full of softness. 

You thought your daughter reached for her because she could feel the warmness in your friend. And after all, amongst all of those gathered here today, she was probably the one that adored babies the most. 

Diana looked at Bruce, who only inclined his head a little to give her the ok to lift her from his arms but-

Another arm stopped her, and took the baby away. 

Damian. 

Damian, the one who took his role as a big brother a little too seriously. 

He held Martha protectively against him, and literally sneered at all your friends. 

************

Damian deemed most of them unworthy to hold his baby sister, and only Clark ended up being allowed to carry her. And that was partly because Clark was the only one who knew about Martha, the only one who saw her already, and he had months to convince your son to trust him with her. 

Being an extremely close friend and all, you just couldn’t hide this from him and... no, really, you literally couldn’t hide this from him as he was the immediately noticed that second heartbeat when he listened in to make sure you and your family were safe. Bruce hated when he did that, but Clark wasn’t about to let them be in danger without moving an inch.

Anyway, Clark was allowed to hold her, but he gave her back to you rather quickly because your son’s stare made him uncomfortable. If eyes could kill, right ? 

Damian took his job as an older brother very seriously. He would protect her at all cost. And you had no doubt that he would be the kind of person to burn the entire world down if it meant saving his family. 

Damian only glared at everyone, letting them approach ONLY after they put on a surgical mask so they wouldn’t give her their “viruses or whatever”. 

You had to admit he was a bit much, and you asked him nicely to calm down a little. He relented on the face masks, but made them all wash their hands (twice). 

You ruffled his hair affectionately, what a sweet little boy. It broke your heart, how so many people judged him too fast. He really was, a nice kid. With a heart of gold. He just didn’t have much luck for the first few years of his life. 

But he chose to be like this. Chose to love, instead of hate. Chose to protect, instead of attacking. 

Although, right now, as Diana came back towards his sister, he definitely seems ready to high kick her (which definitely wouldn’t have hurt the amazon). 

************

It was a hassle, to convince Damian to let go of his sister so they could hold her. As per usual, it’s Dick who managed to convince him, saying Martha was all soft and cute, and everyone deserved to hold her at least once. Adding that if one of them dropped her, he would be allowed to do whatever he wanted to them. 

Some of the mightiest heroes of the planet were gathered hear, but the threat didn’t fall on deaf ears. Damian could be a little intense, and scary sometimes. 

They weren’t fooled by Dick’s agreeable smile either. A smile that didn’t always reach his eyes. They knew if they messed up, he would find every way to rip them to shreds. Dick was often seen as the calmest of your children, but his anger issues from when he was a child were never far. And he could be ruthless.  

Diana held her first, and your daughter babbled to her excitedly. 

Of course, being only 4 months old, she just talked gibberish. And it was so sweet, how Diana answered her : “What ? *babbles from your daughter* Noooooo. *more babbles from your daughter* I can’t believe he said that. And then what ? *babbles babbles babbles*”. 

After that, Dick took her back, and asked if someone else wanted to hold her, under yours and Bruce’s watchful eyes. 

Then again, in the room, many were also already parents and knew how to hold a baby. They weren’t too worried, except-

Except Dick, that little sh-, had found a new game in recent weeks. Whenever he gave his little sister to someone else...he pretended to drop her. 

And it made him laugh and laugh and laugh, to give mini-heart attacks to EVERYONE whenever he gave them his baby sister to them, as they always all panicked and screamed seeing her dropped (Dick always had her secure, he only pretended to drop her of course). 

“Oh no careful !” He’d scream, dropping his arms suddenly (she looooved it) while still gripping her, and they’d scramble to catch her, and he would just laugh. 

“You little-” Hal’s colorful words were...imaginative. And Damian was inclined to agree, since his brother pranked him oh, I don’t know, only about A HUNDRED TIMES since their little sister was born. 

You wouldn’t admit it, but it made you laugh a little too. Even if he got you a few times as well, pretending he was going to drop her. Then again, you trusted your eldest son. Once you and Bruce wouldn’t be around anymore, you knew he would hold this family together. 

************

Martha was a calm baby. She let people hold her, curious enough to not fuss and watch them all intently. It made Barry uncomfortable, how she held his gaze and would just stare at him. 

She would stare, and stare, and stare, and her bright blue eyes were EXACTLY like Bruce’s, it felt like being stared down by a miniature version of Batman. 

He didn’t like it. So he gave her back to whomever was closest, which happened to be Jason

Jason, who was always very delicate with his little sister. He handled her as if he’d break her. It broke your heart, to know he probably literally thought that. 

He refused to hold her at first, sure he would hurt her. But she kept reaching for him, crying when he wouldn’t take her, and she was so adorable and-

He caved, of course. After a little while. And he was oh, the fixture of a patient older brother. You knew he would ALWAYS be part of her life, and step in whenever she needed to. 

Right now, she was grabbing his hair, which were getting quite long, and pulling hard on them as babies do and- He didn’t say anything. He just let her do it. 

You really hoped she wasn’t going to take advantage of this when she’d get older, even if you already had visions of her having her brothers and father wrapped around her little finger, having her sister too, and...apparently, the entirety of the JLA. 

************

“How can such an a-hole make such a cute baby ?” Hal said, looking at the little girl he held. She was sort of dozing off, which for sure was adorable. 

Bruce only glared at him, which amused Hal greatly. He just gave him the shock of his life, he could laugh at his expense a little, right ? 

“I believe, to make a baby, you need to-”

“Um, no, Jon, please, I know how to ! It’s just-Oh, forget it.” 

Flustered, Hal Jordan was flustered. Jon J’onzz didn’t seem to get why, but then again, human sarcasms and irony were still very foreign to him. He always answered pragmatically to people. 

Talking about pragmatism. Hal handed back your daughter to Tim, who slipped her in his favorite new contraption : the baby carrier 3.0 (of his own design). Made so he could do all sort of work while having her strapped to him. Keeping an eye on her at all time. 

Tim adopted the use of a baby carrier, so he could still work while taking care of her (he stole the idea from his dad, who definitely hung around with his daughter EVERYWHERE with that thing...which was the most adorable thing you’ve ever seen, this tall broad man and this tiny baby attached to his chest). 

It was so cute to see her little feet dangling while he was working. Damian nearly lost it when he found Tim WELDING two pieces of metal together with the baby carrier on his front. Tim merely said : “I made her baby sized goggles and a fireproof pyjama, she’s fine, and she likes it” and indeed, your daughter didn’t have a scratch, and cried when Damian hauled her away from the sparks. Ooooh the smug look on Tim’s face as his brother gave her back reluctantly. Damian’s was utterly vexed. 

Vexation he forgot just a few minutes later, when Martha decided she had enough of sparkles and made little sounds of protest (not quite cries), and reached her little arms to him. 

As of now, Tim had her in this baby carrier again, and was strolling around the JLA headquarters, showing his new little sister to everyone. 

************

Cassandra didn’t say a word, as per usual. She never liked big crowds, only spoke to those she trusted the most. Her brothers, her parents. 

She only gestured to others. Remained quiet. But she monitored every little movements. 

Hawkgirl approached her sister ? Noted. Carefully studying every move. Martian Manhunter asked if he could hold her ? Noted. 

Superman made little babbling sound at her, while her dad held her ? Noted, with amusement. It was funny, to see one of Earth’s mightiest hero grimacing to a baby to make it laugh, while said baby was held by another mighty hero who was utterly stoned face. Cass’ smiled at her dad, who smiled back for a fraction of seconds before Clark shifted his head up to look at him too, and Bruce went back to his : “ -_-” face, by reflex really. 

Cassandra never spoke much, but she loved a lot. And her way of loving her little sister ? It was to always keep a watchful eye on her, so she could react to whatever she needed. And give her space when she needed to. 

She had many brothers, she often joked that if she lost one, she could just replace him (a joke you didn’t like much, because you knew it was just a self-defense from her, to shield her heartbreak at the mere idea of loosing a sibling), but only had one sister...

Yes. Your youngest child definitely held a special place in everyone’s heart. 

And you could see her slowly creep in every members’ of the Justice League’s heart too. 

Gods, you couldn’t even imagine what would happen to the person who would one day try to hurt her. You could bet, though, he wouldn’t get out of it unscathed (to say the least). 

************

Martha was particularly fond of Duke’s inuit kiss. He had the capacity to instantly calm her, and he could easily feel her inner emotions. 

As she was passed around everyone, and she started to be tired and cranky, he simply retrieved her and brought her to Bruce, because he knew that was her preferred spot to fall asleep. 

He kissed her on the forehead, and sure enough, she was asleep before he could pull away. Your husband put a warm hand on Duke’s head, a warm smile on his face. That boy could always tell what others felt. It was a gift, really, and sometimes a curse as others’ feelings could leak into him. Which is to say that sometimes, when others were sad, he would be too...

But for now, he felt content. At peace. Because his dad was, too. 

And indeed, Bruce, holding his sleeping daughter against his heart, his hand supporting her head gently, was utterly at peace. 

He loved the idea that his arms were his daughter’s favorite place to sleep, and never refused to hold her to help her sleep. You sure were a little jealous, but he told you : “They all always come to you when they need comfort, one kid out of six, you surely can give me, right ?” and though you knew he was joking, it broke your heart a little. 

So, you let go of your jealousy, and let him have this indeed. Martha was definitely a daddy’s girl. And that was good. You could see the impact on your husband, how having a baby in the house soothed him. 

He loved his kids so damn much. He often said they were his lights. And the fact Martha found comfort with him ? 

It reminded him of his own parents. How he would go to his mom, a Martha too, to find the same comfort. To fall asleep in the same way. 

You let go of that small jealousy, as you saw her falling soundly asleep, cuddled up against her dad. And it was funny, how Bruce would take his usual Batman persona, stone faced, standing straight and- 

Having one of two fingers held tightly by both of his daughter’s little hands. She grabbed them as he took her, one hand holding her (she was so tiny...and he was a big dude), the other, she used as a sort of comfort plushy. She held them with all her might, as she slept. 

And Bruce was speaking battle plans, and you had to fight the laughter in you as all your friends couldn’t help but stare at the scene, not knowing how to feel. 

Hal snickered at one point, and he made a gesture for him to zip it, and it was quite an odd scene, as he held his daughter and did that childish gesture. 

Seriously. That guy !! 

************

Batman smiling was...different. 

They all got caught staring at him, when he had his daughter in his arms. Staring because his broad smile was-

Well. Broad. 

It wasn’t his signature smirk. It wasn’t a soft smile. It wasn’t a half-smile. It wasn’t a smile that you could only see in his eyes. 

It was a full on big ass smile (as Barry would say). 

And sure, they already saw him smile like that (although he schooled his face back to “stone mode” when he noticed them looking), never that much. 

As if the birth of his daughter gave Batman another new light, and it was just impossible to yield to his old demon, to brood, when holding that ray of sunshine. 

It made them all feel...soft. And warm. 

It was nice, to know the bat wasn’t just a machine. They forgot it sometimes, that he was, in the end, “just” a man. They forgot why he became Batman. The pain and guilt he held inside. But moments like this, they were reminded of it. 

That the Batman didn’t exist because of hatred, but because of love. 

Because he loved his parents, his city, and now- 

His family. 

It was nice, to get reminded that there was a man below the mask. And though he could be an “a-hole” sometimes, there, holding his baby, he was just that. 

A loving man, who wanted to protect others. 

************

You made a note of every moments you would cherish forever of you introducing your daughters to them all : 

1. The shock on their faces as they beheld the sight of THE BATMAN holding a baby against him, and being so delicate. 

2. Your daughter being the star of the show, all of them smitten with her !

3. Your friends wanting to hold her, and how they beamed at her (and she beamed back, except with Barry, whom she only stared at for some reasons). 

4. Dick’s “game” of pretending he dropped her, and their panicked reaction. 

5. The success of Tim’s baby carrier, and how now, there was always one up in the tower. 

6. Diana and how it definitely seemed like she would move mountain for that child. 

7. How Clark’s eyes filled with tears again, as he looked at Martha. Because it made his friends so happy. You and Bruce. And especially Bruce. And Clark was an emotional man, who suffered too, and was just so happy “The Batman” was happy. 

8. How Jason seemed at peace with his little sister, and how whenever he held her, he seemed less weary than usual around everyone. Like Cass, he didn’t like much being amongst too many people. But now, it felt like he had an “emotional support baby”. Ah. 

9. Their reactions, past the shock, welcoming that new life in the world. 

10. How Bruce monitored his daughter being held by his friends, holding your hand. Even after all those years, when he acted close to you in his Batman costume, it made you...feel things. He always kept a facade as Batman. A facade that would crumble with his kids, and especially with you. PDA weren’t rare. And even after years at his side, it always made your heart beat wildly when he showed affection towards you in public, because it meant- 

Oh it meant so much. 

And you had so many more moments forever ingrained in your heart from that day spend up at the JLA’s headquarters. 

Too many to count. Some sweet, some hilarious- 

All positive feelings. 

And as you and your family stepped back in the zeta tubes, your friends saying “byyyyye” to Martha especially, with their baby voice (making Bruce roll his eyes), and as she waved at them- 

Waved for the FIRST TIME ever oh. 

Oh it felt like you would die of happiness. 

And still, Bruce’s hands held yours tightly. 

He knew. 

He knew, you were the source of this happiness he thought he could never find again. 

He knew. 

He never loved like that before. 

Yes. It felt like you could just die of happiness.

__________________________________________________

And here we are. I hope you enjoyed this. Don’t hesitate to comment and/or reblog, it’s always greatly appreciated :). 

Also, initially, the child was going to be Thomas (their son in my “main” storyline, if you already read a few works from me), but last minute, I was like : “wait no, I want to give Bruce a daughter, and the boys a sister. Also, poor Cass eh ?” and here we are. I really hope you liked this; I’m nervous for some reasons. Anyway. See you soon with another one ? 

[dovesdreaming]

Deadpools guide to keeping you alive

Summary: You have a habit of reminding everyone to take care of themselves, even though you often forget to do it for yourself. Wade, being Wade, notices, and in his own ridiculous yet sweet way, steps in to help you remember the little things.

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Masterlist

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You sat on the couch, curled up with your phone, scrolling aimlessly through social media while Wade, in full Deadpool attire, was standing on the coffee table, striking ridiculous superhero poses for no apparent reason. He’d started doing it about ten minutes ago, just because he could. One hand on his hip, the other flexed, he looked like a cross between a professional wrestler and an action figure from the 90s. "Looking good, Wade” you said absently, not even glancing up from your screen. "Have you had any water today?". “Hydration is for the weak!" he declared, though he immediately reached for the water bottle you’d left on the coffee table and took a big gulp, mask and all. You weren’t entirely sure how it worked, but you’d stopped asking those kinds of questions a long time ago. You smiled at his antics and shifted, feeling a little light-headed, but brushed it off. It happened sometimes. Not a big deal. Wade, however, noticed the slight wobble in your movement. He paused mid-pose, tilting his head toward you. "Hey, babe, you okay? You look like you’re about to pass out faster than I can regenerate a new spleen”.

You waved him off, though your stomach growled quietly. "Yeah, I’m fine. Just haven’t eaten yet, I guess. No big deal”. Wade’s eyes widened beneath his mask, and he jumped off the coffee table with a surprisingly graceful landing. "Uh, what? You guess? You haven’t eaten yet?" He checked the clock on the wall. "It’s 4 PM. That's not 'yet,' that’s 'barely survived on air alone!”. You frowned, genuinely surprised by the time. You’d gotten up early that morning, thrown yourself into work, and totally lost track of everything else. Again. “Oh…” You blinked. “Right. Oops?”.

Wade crossed his arms and gave you a look you knew well, the ‘I’m about to be ridiculous but also right’ look. “Let me get this straight: you’ve reminded me, multiple times, to drink water today-thank you for that, by the way-but you forgot to eat?” You shrugged, trying to play it off, though the light-headedness was starting to catch up to you. “I get distracted, okay? I’ve got a lot going on in my head sometimes”. Wade didn’t argue with that. Instead, he sighed and sat down next to you, pulling you into his side. “Alright, here's the deal. You’re gonna sit right here, not move a muscle- except to blink, breathe, and keep that heart pumping I guess, and I’m gonna make you some food”.

You started to protest. “Wade, you don’t have to-“ But he was already up, bounding toward the kitchen with surprising energy for a guy who’d been play posing on a coffee table moments before. “I do have to! Because apparently, you’d forget your head if it wasn’t attached, and I can’t have that, babe. You’d look weird without it”. You chuckled as you watched him dig through the fridge, though there was a part of you that felt a little guilty. This wasn’t the first time you’d forgotten something important. Wade had found you passed out on the couch before because you’d stayed up working for nearly two days straight. And then there was the time you forgot to drink for an entire day while binge watching a new show. Wade had quickly gotten you a glass of whatever was closest whilst gently scolding you.

Still, despite your forgetfulness, you always made sure to look out for your friends. You’d tell Wade, and anyone else, to “drink more water!” or “take breaks!” but when it came to yourself, you… just forgot. It wasn’t on purpose. It was like your brain got too full, and the little things just slipped through the cracks. You were pulled out of your thoughts by the clatter of pots and pans in the kitchen. Wade was muttering to himself, something about "smoking chimichangas" and “how do normal people make sandwiches without a sword?” But a few minutes later, he returned with a plate in hand, two sandwiches that looked like they’d survived a battle, but were clearly made with love. “Behold!” Wade declared, placing the plate on your lap with a flourish. “A culinary masterpiece. You won’t find this in any Michelin-star restaurant, because they can’t handle the truth”.

You couldn’t help but smile. “Thanks, Wade. You didn’t have to, really”. “Of course I did” he said, sitting back down beside you, much more gently this time. “Somebody’s gotta make sure you remember to do basic human things, like eating and sleeping and not turning into a raisin from dehydration”. You took a bite of the sandwich, feeling instantly better. “It’s good” you said through a mouthful of food. “Of course it is. I’m Deadpool. I don’t make bad sandwiches” he replied, leaning in to nudge you with his elbow. “But seriously, you gotta start taking care of yourself. I mean, I can regenerate my liver if it gives out, but you? You get one shot at this whole ‘being alive’ thing”.

You swallowed and nodded, feeling a little sheepish. “I know, I just… I get so caught up in things, I forget”. Wade looked at you, and even through the mask, you could feel the softness in his gaze. He reached over, pulling you into a side hug. “You know what, babe? That’s what I’m here for. To remind you to do all that boring, vital stuff. You remind me to drink water, I remind you to, you know, live. We balance each other out”.

You rested your head on his shoulder, sandwich still in hand. “Yeah, I guess we do”. “And from now on” Wade said, his voice full of determination, “I’m going to make sure you never forget again. I’ll be your personal reminder system. Forget to eat? I’ll hand-feed you if I have to. Forget to sleep? I’ll tuck you in with my very own beddy-bye song. And forget to shower? Well, I’ll.. okay, I’ll just throw you in the shower with a loofah grenade”.

You laughed, the sound muffled by another bite of your sandwich. “I don’t know if I should be scared or touched by that”. “Touched” Wade said, pulling you closer. “Definitely touched. In the heart, not the weird way. Unless you want it to be the weird way. I’m flexible”. You smiled, warmth filling your chest. “Thanks, Wade”. “Don’t mention it, babe” he said softly. Then he looked down at you, his voice dropping to a playful whisper. “Now, finish that sandwich and then we’re going to bed. Not for the fun stuff, mind you, unless you’re into that, but because you need to sleep. Doctor Deadpool’s orders”. You rolled your eyes, but you couldn’t deny the yawn that followed. “Fine, but only because Doctor Deadpool said so”. “That’s the spirit!” Wade cheered, and with a surprisingly gentle tug, he pulled you up off the couch and toward the bedroom, all while mumbling something about setting hydration alarms and taping snack bars to the walls as reminders.

And as you curled up in bed that night, Wade snuggled up next to you, you couldn’t help but feel grateful. Because even when you forgot to take care of yourself, Wade was always there to remind you, whether it was about drinking water, getting enough sleep, or just eating a simple sandwich.

And really, that was all you needed.

-

Thank you for reading!!

[stuffeddeer]

HEAR ME OUT PLZPLZ imagine dazai with an s/o thats just ALWAYS stresses about something and it really bothers them but dazai just knows EXACTLY what to say to give them some peace of mind🙏

Dazai with a stressed reader | Bungo Stray Dogs | Dazai x reader

dazai gets a little annoyed at first

he's a smart man but i think he'd assume you're overplaying it at the beginning just to be silly like he sometimes does

which bothers him because there are so many things to be actually stressed about!!!! but you're nervous over deciding dinner!!!!

but pretty quickly he realizes that omg you actually just get stressed super easily! oops

he turns into gentle and quiet reassurances, mentioning that he's hungry for something specific and asking if you wanna tag along so you aren't worried about deciding what's for dinner

mentioning that he's bored and wants to tag along for your mission because he knows you'll feel less stressed knowing he's there to back you up

and once you two start dating, he's more up front about it!!! wants to help you stop feeling so stressed all the time :)

so he helps with bettering your responses to stress and working out better coping mechanisms!

taking deep breaths, hiding in his chest to be away from everything for a few moments (definitely not an excuse to hold you close!! dazai would neverr use your stress to his benefit!!..... most of the time!)

dazai makes sure you have time to actually relax and focus on things for yourself!!! knitting or crocheting can help or just having something to focus on with your hands 🙂‍↕️ write this down anon

he himself doesn't practice healthy eating or sleeping habits but they do help with stress so suddenly he's Mr. Pinnacle of Health and ushering you to bed at 9pm every night 💀

dazai is more for actions than words, but whenever you need it he's there to help logically explain why everything will be alright or lend an ear when you just need to vent about it all!!!!

he'll definitely offer more nsfw services to help you relax too . feel free to just hit him he'll get the message 👍🏻

if that doesn't work and you prefer more vocal methods, he'd definitely piece together the most perfect speech to help you relax, like how he's always the voice in atsushi's head telling him what needs to be done and stay calm (except out loud and to you) but that's more of a last resort

^^ unless you're on a mission and obviously don't have time for the rest!!!! then it's temporary solve now with a few words and permanent solutions later (meditation/deep breathing/etc)

dazai smells and he's the worst (affectionate) so i think he'd rather avoid directly talking about the issues at hand, but that doesn't mean he'd be bad at keeping you company and soothing your troubles!!! he just has a different way to go about it :)

[kalmiaphlox]

Crash Landing

AO3 Link / Masterlist

Astarion has never been a bat before. He's never wanted to be a bat before, but a little sneeze is all it took for him to be stuck as a disgusting rodent.

Wait- He can fly!

But maybe flying isn't all it's cracked up to be...

Main Tags: Batstarion, FLUFF!, Dadstarion, Established Relationship

Waking up next to Astarion is a new experience every time, and this morning is no exception. 

The moment she opens her eyes with a yawn, his head looms above hers, ruby eyes boring holes into her face as if she might dissolve into nothing if he looked away for even a moment.

“Any particular reason for being a weirdo this early?” Kalmia asks while placing a hand over his eyes, but he leans forward to nip at her fingers instead and once she pulls away, Astarion bares his teeth. “Ah, so no reason.”

“Do I need a reason when I'm with you, little wyrm?” He holds her wrist and presses a chaste kiss to her lips. “I just want to see every side of you, even when you snore louder than a dragon… Oh, wait…!”

She pinches his nose. “Awe, the vampire has learned comedy this morning. How fun.” 

“I'll show you fu-” Astarion rears back, blinking in bewilderment. His nose scrunches up, sniffling before sneezing - violently.

She didn't even know vampires could sneeze.

Gone is the dastardly man with the killer good looks though. Just… gone from her sight. Kalmia sits up swiftly and an alarmed squeak brings her eyes down to the emerald green duvet. A fluffy white bat with overly large ears and a short, pink snout stares up at her with confused red eyes. 

Well, isn't this something? 

“My, oh my, irthiski, seems I'm not the only shape changer around.” She rubs at his fuzzy head with a finger, and in typical Astarion-fashion, he bares teensy fangs that shimmer like pearls. “What a cutie pie! I could eat you right up!”

That raises another squeak from him, though she can hear the rage burning behind it. How mighty it is, but a dragon does not cower from such things. 

“You should be able to speak normally, come on, use your words.” Kalmia nudges him a bit too hard, knocking him over on the sheets. “Oops, sorry!”

There's little grumbling noises that sound suspiciously like speaking, he must be getting a grasp of this new body, it'll take time. Astarion is wobbling around best he can, using his wings as crutches to stand up, the little hook at the end catching on the bedding so he gets stuck, letting out more angry squeaks.

Oh gods, her heart might explode from the cuteness.

“I'm going to pick you up, can't have you tearing all the bedding.” Gingerly, Kalmia wraps her hand around his fuzzy body, picking him up and offering her other hand as support beneath his legs.

The grunting finally becomes audible, “You- What have you…” His lungs aren't at their usual capacity, a full sentence is a struggle. “What have you done, you witch?!”

“Oh, I turn you into a cat once and now it's my fault?”

“What in the…" He gasps, "hells am I?” His small head is angling around to get a look at himself, but she'll do him one better.

The Truesight mirror, its shiny reflection and lacquered wood encasing reveals all.

They stand now in front of it, holding her hands out so Astarion can gaze upon his visage - his favorite activity, but definitely not hers. “You're a bat, irthiski. I've heard vampires can do this sometimes, but maybe you're a late bloomer.”

“Late bloomer-!” He erupts into more enraged squeaks and growls, almost completely falling off her hand before his grabby feet latch onto her finger on instinct, dangling precariously upside down. “A damned bat! I don't want to be this! Where's my beautiful body?!”

Ignoring his dramatics and pressing a smooch to his head, she smiles widely. “I know someone who would be very excited to see this sight.” And they depart from their room, striding into Izmezine's where the girl is just waking up. “Good morning, anon ! Who do you think this is?”

Izzy sits up, blinking her bleary eyes and rubbing them with a big yawn, before scrunching her button nose to inspect the white ball of fluff in Kalmia's hands. Her lips form into a frown, turning her head away in disgust. “It's ugly.” 

That was not the reaction I anticipated. 

The wail of anguish that leaves his tiny bat body is very impressive, if not over-reactive. Setting Astarion down on the bed, Izzy pulls away slightly, what a terrible start but Kalmia will fix this. “Izmezine, sweetie, please, this is your father. He's turned into a bat by accident. Let's be nice.” 

That gets Izzy to take a peek again, and she looks to Kalmia for confirmation. “T-Th-That’s my papa?”

“Yes.” 

Poor Astarion is trembling against the bed, the words of his daughter like a stake straight through his heart, but at least he's stopped crying. Izzy reaches forward hesitantly, brushing a finger against his fur and she gasps, “He's s-soft!” She goes back in for a more gentle pet, “W-Why is papa a-a baby?”

Finally finding his words again, Astarion speaks up, “I don't know, I just turned into a bat, but kitten, you think I'm ugly ?” That last word barely makes it out as a squeak. Gods, he's going to be hung up on that for ages.

Izzy scrutinizes him further, golden eyes narrowing and appraising the bat before her. “Uhm, a l-little ugly?” Kids are always so blunt, Astarion should feel lucky that Izzy has enough sense to walk her statement back. The gold eyes turn up to her now, “Kalli, I'm hungry.”

“Me too, let's go have breakfast. What would you like?” Kalmia scoops up the whinging bat and places him on her shoulder, then holds Izzy against her hip. 

“Cake!” Is Izzy's first breakfast suggestion.

“Normally I'd agree, but a cake takes a long time to make, how about we make one later and we can have some scones and jam now?”

The dhampir thankfully concedes to that idea and they settle in for an easy breakfast while bat-Astarion clumsily scrabbles along the counter, whining, “I'm hungry too, you know.”

Seems Kalmia isn't the only one that becomes ravenous when changed. “I'll get you food in a bit. Let me take care of my anon first.”

He collapses into a sad pile, crying endlessly, “My daughter thinks I'm ugly, my lizard is starving me. Where is the love?!”

Kalmia slathers some jam onto a scone, ignoring him, “Izzy, what would you like to do today?”

“Can p-papa go in my h-house?” She asks around a mouthful of food.

“Hmm,” Kalmia eyes the worming creature before her, the image of Astarion being stuffed into the doll house is hysterical, but… “I don't think he would like that. Bats are supposed to be able to fly, maybe we can help him learn.”

Both Izzy and Astarion perk up at that, their eyes shining with new possibilities. “You really think I can?” Astarion seems apprehensive at the prospect.

“I don't see why not, irthiski. We can try it out once you get some food.” With breakfast finished, Kalmia takes the bat downstairs, leaving Izzy with the task of gathering pillows and blankets. “What blood do you want?”

“Yours.”

She brings the bat in her hands close to her face, “If you have it now, you can't have it later.”

More grumbling follows, “Fine, get me a glass of the boar.”

Filling a goblet to the top, Kalmia rests them both on their desk. Astarion's little wing hooks grab onto the lip and he shimmies his little body up the length of it, long tongue lapping up the blood. She watches quietly with her head tucked between her hands as a red stain begins to bloom along his snout and neck as he drinks. 

“Kalli! The-The blankies and p-pi-pillows are ready!” Izmezine shouts down the stairs.

Astarion pulls away, flopping down to the desk, “I'm full.” The goblet's halfway empty now, she's impressed by his apetite. They return upstairs now after a cleanup, finding the sitting room absolutely covered in blankets and pillows. 

Setting her bat on the couch, Kalmia gives Izzy a big kiss on her cheek and squeezes her into a tight hug, “I knew I could count on you to go above and beyond! Wow, look at all this coziness!” 

The girl giggles in her arms and Astarion pouts, crossing his wings in a pitiful stance, “What about me? ”

“I didn't forget you, irthiski!” Kalmia showers his tiny head in kisses and Izmezine does the same. He melts at their love. “I don't know how different it is from being a dragon, but my first time flying was… a little wild, you know? I think my mother just threw me off a cliff a few times until I got it. Be thankful for our care, Astarion.”

Izzy nods like she completely understands the lengths they are going to take care of him and he scoffs, “Your mother is a brute.” Kalmia only remembers those days with fondness, he wouldnt understand.

“No! Nafl i-is nice!” Izzy corrects him with a tap to the snout.

“I turn into a rodent and you both gang up against me? Where is the-”

Kalmia interrupts, “Enough. This should come somewhat naturally to you, but we'll start here on the couch and move up in height, ok? Now get to flapping.”

His beady little eyes glare at her and she just smiles sharply back. He's testy, big or small. With a despondent huff, Astarion shuffles along to the edge of the couch, stretching his leathery wings and shaking them out. 

The first few attempts end with an immediate face plant to the ground, and while he may not admit it, Astarion is very thankful for the pillows now. The fifth attempt though? His wings find the right rhythm and angle, so he glides down to the end of their makeshift protections. More tries are made, his gliding and flapping now consistent. 

Kalmia and Izzy erupt into applause, and she isn't quite sure if she imagines the blush on those little bat cheeks. “Higher now, Astarion?”

“Yes, yes!” He's glowing with pride at his newfound capabilities. Raising him up to the fireplace ledge, he huddles on the ledge peering down to the blanket laden ground. “Alright, I can do this.”

Izzy cheers from the sidelines, “Papa can f-fly!”

With one step, Astarion dives over the edge, flapping vigorously to maintain his height, and it sticks. He's flitting about excitedly, if not a little haphazardly, cackling gleefully. Kalmia, while very happy for Astarion, is concerned he's being too reckless. “ Irthiski, you should slow down and watch where you're going!”

His head whips to her, “Never! Nothing can sto-!” and he smashes head first into a wall, crumbling to a heap of bat limbs on the floor. Izzy shrieks, running over to his still form.

The downside to an undead partner? Can't really tell what kind of damage they've sustained because they don't breath or exhibit any of the normal symptoms.

Astarion is probably fine though. 

I hope.

“Don't worry, Izzy, your father will be ok. He'll just need to… sleep that off.” Kalmia strokes the girl's head, whose eyes are welling with large tears. “We should find him somewhere to rest.” She is concerned that he's not changing back… but vampires don't die that easily, no matter how small they are.

Izzy zips downstairs and returns with two doll-sized beds, laying them down by the fireplace with extra bedding so it's very cozy. Kalmia assists in putting his bat-self onto the bed and covering him with blankets. “Kalli, m-ma-make a f-fire! Papa’s c-cold!” Stacking some logs, Kalmia breathes fire onto them, stoking the flames until the room is toasty. With a sniffle, Izzy lays out next to her father and rests her hand on him, “I take c-care of papa.”

“I know you will. You watch over him so I can get lunch started, ok? We can eat here.” Kalmia kisses her forehead before setting off to the kitchen. 

It's always an adventure with them.

++++

Over an hour later, Izzy has fallen asleep looking after Astarion's limp body, which hasn't even twitched all this time. 

Maybe it's time to take matters into her own hands. 

Or fingers.

Pricking the tip of her index finger, Kalmia places it up against Astarion's bat snout, hoping the pooling blood will work like vampire smelling salts.

And of course it does, she should have thought of this earlier. 

His snout wiggles side to side, seeking out the delicious scent before him, and begins licking at the drop the moment he makes contact. Red eyes blink open, looking haggard, “What- What happened?”

Kalmia picks up her sad bat, cradling him in her arms, “You crashed into the wall going much too fast. Izmezine took very good care of you, so you should thank her once she's up.”

“How do I change back? If I spend another moment like this, I'm going to become quite cross with-”

“Hush, you're always angry. I normally just think about being me, so maybe try that?” 

Astarion goes silent for a while, so he must be trying anything to be himself again. Nothing happens though and he grumbles unhappily, “This is stupid. I don't want to be stuck as a flying rodent for the rest of my life. How will Izmezine be able to introduce me to people? ‘ Oh, come meet my father! The bat? Yes, that's him!’ Kalmia, I can't stay like this!”

“Shall I tickle your nose? A sneeze seemed to set it off the first time.”

His bat face goes through a range of emotions, before settling on sadness, “This is so unbecoming, but fine. Do it.”

Kalmia locates a feather pretty quickly, Gale has quills laying out everywhere, and lightly shuffles the tip across Astarion's nose. His nose wrinkles but nothing happens, and he folds in on himself in defeat. 

“I'm sorry, irthiski. We'll figure something out.” She does feel terribly for him, nothing is worse than being stuck in a form at the wrong time. She knows it well.

“Mmm, papa?” Izzy’s sleep laden voice pulls their attention as she starts grabbing at the doll beds, but realizes nothing is there, so she shoots up, alarmed. “Papa?! Wh-Where are y-you?”

“I have him, anon, it's ok.” 

Crawling over, Izzy pets her father, also seeming sad that he's still stuck like this. Who's going to read the bedtime story for them?

But if Astarion continues to be a bat, might as well take advantage of this opportunity. “You know, Izzy, I think he's kind of dirty. We should bathe him.”

The girl's eyes light up, “Yes!”

“What?! What do you think-” Astarion begins to shout.

Kalmia presses a finger against his snout. “You've been outvoted. Accept your fate.”

He whines and complains all the way downstairs, and once the bath is filled a few inches deep, she settles the little bat in. Izzy gets to work swiftly, wetting his fur and carefully working in the shampoo. Kalmia assists from the sidelines, but Izzy has it handled. 

Astarion's taking this with as much grace as possible, letting Izmezine do as she pleases, because there is never a world in which he would deny her.

But this time must come to an end, it seems.

He makes a strange noise, like a sharp intake of breath, and sneezes, splashing water everywhere when a vampire reappears where a bat once sat.

His resting clothes are soaked and Astarion is absolutely covered in soap, hair flattened against his head as he sneers at the two of them. ‘You two have had a lot of fun today. I think daddy needs some payback.” Izzy and Kalmia both shriek with laughter as they attempt to run, but Astarion grabs them both, dragging them into the tub, turning the water on. “If I had to suffer, then so should you!”

Once they're all soaking wet and giggling, they climb out of the bathtub, drying off, Kalmia has a new idea. “Ready to make a cake, Izzy?”

The girl jumps up and down in excitement, “I w-want pink frosting!”

“Any requests, irthiski?”

He runs a towel over Izzy's curls, “One of Gale's nice bottles of wine. I'm just… going to lie down, my body hurts.”

Kalmia laughs, “You'll get used to it.”

“Ugh, I sure hope not. If I never turn into a rodent again, it will still be too soon.”

++++

Notes:-anon = flower (draconic) -nafl (short for nafldask) = grandmother (draconic)

[obsidiancreates]

Out Of the Shadows and Into The Neon (Part 10)

“SERIOUSLY, HYPNO!” Leon flips over one of the sharpened magic connecting rings that zips through the air. “THIS IS NOT HOW SETTLING DOWN WORKS!”

“IT IS IF YOUR CHILD DESERVES THE BEST!” Hypno shouts, pointing at the controlled Raphie and then pointing at Leon. Raphie growls, running at his brother, but Angelo catches him with a nunchuck chain and yanks him off-path!

“Hey, do NOT turn this into a parenting thing!” Donald infuses his bo with ninpo and leaps, doing a mid-air spin to charge his attack even further! He slams Hypno into the wall! And then something small and squishy smacks into his face. A full-body shudder leaves him vulnerable as Raphie shakes off Angelo’s chains and charges!

“We aren’t insulting your parenting!” Warren Stone declares as he launches himself off of Donald and at Leon. “Only saying we are the best fathers ever!”

“Oh yeah, you’re setting great examples for your kid,” Leon drawls, easily batting Warren away with the flat of his katana. “I’m sure she’s totally well-adjusted.”

—---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“WHAT IS WITH THIS CHICK?!” Raph rolls out of the way as the beak-shaped hammer comes down where he’s been standing a mere moment ago.

“THAT’S RACIST!”

“I MEANT IT LIKE GIRL, NOT BIRD!”

“THEN IT’S SEXIST!”

“NO, JUST YOU-IST, YOU WEIRDO!”

Donnie gives a shout as he jumps at her, but she turns on her heel and ounces on him while he’s mid-air! Donnie gets the wind knocked out of him as they both land, her crouched on his plastron! “Hey, Raph? How about you STOP MAKING HER MAD!”

“We need a plan!” Leo runs over and shoves her off. “And-and to not kill each other!”

“I don’t want to kill you!” Tweetie looks genuinely horrified by the idea. “Okay, time-out!”

Mikey helps Donnie stand up, and the four brothers all look at Tweetie as she sticks out her tongue and pulls a Warren Stone Official Collectible Notebook out of her suit. “Anyone have a pen?”

The four brothers share glances. Other than their belts with their panic buttons, all they’re wearing is some wrappings and joint-pads, like their fathers. 

Leo’s navy-blue knee pads have Jupiter Jim stickers on them, and he’s written motivational quotes on his off-white wrappings, but as he pats down his belt the only thing he finds in the side-pouch is an old piece of taffy, which Mikey promptly plucks out of his hand and eats.

Donnie checks between his own off-write wrappings, stained with bright purples and greens from his chemistry lessons with Draxum. He checks under his purple-gray elbow pads in case of a little pencil stub being trapped between it and his skin- it wouldn’t be the first time- but comes up empty. There’s nothing in his identically-colored knee pads either, except for a post-it note reminding him to wash them before his first patrol (oops).

Mikey spins around a bit, checking not only his pouch-covered belt but also the inside of his shell. He fully removes his dirty-orange (really almost brown) pads, then peels off the alligator sticker on the top right of his plastron– not really to check, just because he took the pads off and it feels right to take the sticker off too. He puts them all back on and shrugs.

Raph crosses his arms and huffs. He doesn’t check his brick-red pads, nor the two pouches on the back of his belt. Instead he sighs, and reluctantly pops off his panic-button buckle. Stuck in the back is a bright green marker, which he hands over to Tweetie. “You better give it back! That colors and exact match for the family ninpo!”

“I will,” she assures half-heartedly as she begins scribbling in her notebook. “I’m writing up an agreement. A contract!”

“A contract?” Donnie scratches his head. “I-I don’t think villains and heroes have contracts. Do they?” He looks to Leo.

Leo, resident hero enthusiast, thinks. “Well… sometimes they have peace treaties, like in Jupiter Jim and the Waterlily Plutionians 9.”

“This is more like, um…” Tweetie pauses writing and thinks. “Um… rules? I don’t wanna kill you, and you don’t wanna kill me, but we wanna fight.”

“Oooooh, I get it, yo!” Mikey grins. “Like the Lair Games agreements!”

His three brothers Oooooh in understanding as Tweetie finishes writing and shows them the rules.

Don’t kill each other.

If an adult attacks us we all fight together.

Don’t insult each other’s dads anymore.

“I can get behind this!” Mikey grabs the marker from her and signs his name next to Tweetie’s, holding it wrong so his hand smudges the ink as he writes the words.

Raph and Leo both look at Donnie as he thinks about the rules.

“They… seem fair.” Donnie accepts the marker from Mikey and signs as well, his printing less smudges but similarly scratched-out as he rushes his signature.

“We’ll take your word for it.” Leo signs next, his handwriting neat and small.

Raph snatches his marker back, shoulders sagging in relief. “Fine.” He signs, in big blocky capital letters.

“Great!” Tweetie closes her notebook and tucks it back into her suit. “So back to fighting?”

“Finally!” Raph jumps up and goes for a flying-kick! “HYAAAAAAAA!” 

—---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“No calls from the guys or the boys,” April mumbles as she sits on the couch with Casey and Cass in Draxum’s apartment. “Why do I feel so nervous?”

“Because our boys can be idiots?” Draxum offers.

“Call my nephews idiots again and I shall SLICE OFF YOUR MANBUN BEFORE YOU CAN BLINK!” Cass throws a shuriken into the wall next to Draxum’s head as warning.

“Right, they’re not idiots! The kids are just… a little too excited to be like their dads, who can be idiots. … Maybe we should check the news just in case.”

Casey nods and turns on the TV, flicking through channels.

“– ther news, some kind of fight is rocking the office of Eastman and Laird Reality Group! We go now to amateur footage uploaded to social media!”

The footage doesn’t show much in the way of figures in the fight, mostly the puffs of dust and brick-chunks coming from the building as the distinct sounds of Raph roaring, Hypno mezmeroo-ing, and the other three shouting can be heard under the crashes and crumbling.

“Oh, man,” Casey says, wincing. “Maybe we should call that therapist Raphie was seeing, this might–”

“He hasn’t had a serious breakdown about mind-control in years now,” Draxum says. 

“But Hypno is making him fight his brothers. Including Ma- errhg! Leon!”

“... Hmm. Fine, I’ll book him an appointment. Better call Lou while I’m on the phone anyway…”

“Wait. Look!” April pauses the TV and jumps up, pointing at the corner of the screen. “On that rooftop!”

Everyone crowds in, staring intensely at the screen. Sure enough, in the shadowed and blurry depths of the shaky phone footage, they can see four small outlines on the neighboring roof– looking up at another small outline holding a hammer.

“I knew they’d forget to call me!” April grabs her helmet and dashes out the door. “I’M COMING BOYS!”

“Should we join her?” Casey looks around for his hockey mask, but Cass lays a hand on his shoulder.

“Trust me, Casey. Whoever that lone mutant is, they will be NO MATCH for our April O’Neil! ESPECIALLY IF THEY HURT OUR BOYS!”

—---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Oof!” Mikey is slammed into Leo as Tweetie knocks him aside with her beak-hammer. “We’re totally beefing it, dudes!”

“At Least it can’t get worse?” Donnie says, going for a spinning-strike that Tweetie dodges by flying straight up. Donnie’s bo hits Raph instead, knocking his brother aside. “AHH!”

“Donnie, don’t say that!” Leo stands in front of Mikey protectively. “Whenever someone says that on TV-!”

“Take a chill pill!” Tweetie doesn’t shout it, but sings it, and as she does magenta circles of mystic power emulate from her beak. Donnie yelps and rolls out of the way, but Raph doesn’t get the chance as he’s not recovered from the friendly-fire. The magic hits him and he stiffens for a moment before slumping, plopping onto his butt and yawning.

“Raph?!” Leo keeps in front of Mikey, arms spread wide. 

“Is it nap time? I… told you I’m too old for that… Dad… yawwwwn…” Raph lays down, using his hands as a pillow. “Mmm…”

Mikey grabs his head. “SHE’S GOT MYSTIC POWERS!”

“Why’d she wait until right now to use them?!” Leo shouts. 

“I dunno!” Donnie runs for cover behind a shed on the roof, and Leo yanks Mikey behind some kind of air conditioning apparatus. 

Raph snores from out in the open. Tweetie lands again, and rolls Raph out of the middle of the “battlefield” by pushing him with her hammer. As he snores, she yawns a little as well. Donnie, watching from behind the shed, gasps. While she’s busy pushing Raph out of the line of fire (and far away from her in case he wakes up), Donnie runs over to leo and Mikey.

“I think her power made her sleepy too,” Donnie whispers. “If we can get her to use it enough, she might fall asleep herself!”

“How do we do that?” Mikey peeks over the unit. “She’ll totally get us all before we can make it!”

Donnie thinks. “Leo, your dad keeps some of those little portal-stones in his room for when he’s too tired to use his own portals, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you have any on you?”

“... Um…”

“I won’t tell.”

“... Yeah.” Leo reaches into his side-pouch and pulls out a few small yokai stones capable of opening one-time portals for a few seconds each. “I just grabbed them in case something really bad happened and we had to run aw- uh, retreat!”

“We’re running away?!”

“No, Mikey.” Donnie counts them out- three portals each he divides them up. “If we use these, we can quickly dodge her power! It looks like it works by direct contact- none of us got sleepy even though we heard it- so we can tire her out this way!”

Mikey’s eyes shine. “This, is, AWESOME!”

Leo looks up to see Tweetie has just finished drawing eyebrows and a mustache on Raph’s face with his own marker. “She’s done being distracted! Let’s end this fast, before our dads get back to see us fighting!”

They all three share a look, and nod at once. They leap out from behind the unit, and Leo cups his hands around his mouth. “Hey Tweetie! You uh– you were off-key!”

Tweetie whirls around. “Was not!”

“Totally off-key!” Mikey shouts. “And um- uh-”

“And your breathing sounded really inexperienced!” Donnie adds. “And um- and it wasn’t good!”

“I’ll show YOU good singing!” She takes a deep breath, flying up again and belting, “Why don’t you rest while I riiise!”

But before she even finishes her line the three boys have used the stone to open portals. Her power hits nothing but rooftop, and she chirps in shock. She spins in the air, lifting up her hammer. “Where’d you go?!”

Mikey pops out of his portal and it closes right after. “Right here, Squawksong!”

“My name is Tweetie!” she sings out, fuming. Mikey laughs and flips away from the blast, popping through another portal as he flips right past Leo, who stands with his swords drawn. Leo points one at Tweetie.

“Mikey’s right! I think your villain name is Squawksong now!” Leo declares. 

“That’s lame for a- yawn- a villain name!” she sings again. Leo throws down his stone, the portal swallowing him and closing before her power follows him through. 

Donnie jumps out from behind  the shed again. “HEY!” he shouts, getting her attention. “Not as lame as copying your dad’s suit gimmick!”

She gasps. “This was a birthday present, you-you shell-butt jerk!” She doesn’t sing that one– just swings her hammer down. Donnie yelps, rolling away and opening his next portal, pushing himself up from a handstand straight into the pink circle.

“DOWN HERE!” Tweetie- Squawksong- turns to see Mikey standing by Raph again. Mikey puts his hands by his head, wiggling his fingers and blowing a raspberry.

“Go to sleep, stop your annoying peeps!” This time is more of a rap cadence, her power coming out in bursts rather than one single blast, but Mikey grabs Raph and jumps both of them through his last portal. Squawksong yawns again, dropping a little.

“Nice try!” Leo taunts from behind her. She turns again, slower this time, rubbing her eyes. “My Uncle Donald is a way better rapper!”

“Then let me try a power ballad!” But Leo avoids it just as easily as before with his final portal, opening it just over the edge of the rooftop and sprint-leaping right in.

Squawksong spins around again, eyes drooping and losing steam in her flapping by the second. Donnie, crouched on the other side of the billboard, looks at his last portal stone. “Please let us win our first fight,” he whispers.

He runs out from behind the billboard. “HEY SQUAWKSONG! I BET YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW THE DONNIE DEWEY DECIMAL RAP!”

“Of course not, because that sounds stupid!” She tries to swing her hammer, but in her sluggish and tired state she missed Donnie by a wide margin. She rubs her eyes again, yawns once more, and takes a deep breath. “My dads are the best, better than the rest!”

Donnie cartwheels away and tosses down the final stone, popping out the other side of the portal to meet his four brothers behind the roof shed. Mikey and leo hold Raph up as they all peek out.

Squawksong yawns again, and drops– one foot, two feet, all the way to the rooftop. She sits down, yawns again, and then tucks her legs under her and wraps her wings around herself.

Soon enough they hear tweet-snores, and Raph yawns and begins to wake up. “Wha’ happened?”

“We… we won!” Leo looks at Donnie and grins. “We won!”

“You totally saved our shells, Dee!” Mikey wraps his brother in a hug. “We’d have gotten in sooo much trouble if ours dads knew we were-!”

“Y’ALL WERE IN A FIGHT?!”

“AHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

April zips in front of the boys, hands on her hips. “You know you were supposed to call me if your dads got into a fight! And who the heck is that?!”

“Uh… Hypno and the worm guy’s daughter.” Leo winces. “She… wasn’t happy our dads are fighting hers.”

April pinches her nose. “Please tell me you did not knock her out. We made a deal with them, they don’t mess with you and we don’t mess with their kid!”

“We didn’t knock her out! She used her powers until she got all sleepy! Honest!” Mikey clasps his hands together and gives April his most sad, pleading look. Raph yawns again as Mikey takes away his arm, and rubs his eyes. 

April’s expression softens. “Alright. Looks like you guys had a big night, huh? And I’m guessing you don’t wanna leave until your dads get done?”

“Nuh-uh.” Raph blinks at her sleepily. “I gotta hug him when he gets back. He’s gonna be upset.”

“That’s really sweet of you, Raph.” April rubs his head. “Alright, let’s go grab the bird girl–”

“Squawksong!”

“Oh, no way they named their kid that! I’ll report them to, uh… I don’t know, Yokai protective Services?”

“Mikey named her that as her villain name,” Leo says.

Donnie nods. “Her real name is Tweetie.”

“Well then, let’s grab Tweetie and make sure she’s out of the way of any hurtling giant turtles and wait for the boys to wrap things up.”

“You um… you won’t tell them we got into a fight, will you, Auntie April?” Donnie taps his fingers together nervously. “Uncle Leon said we shouldn’t, even with Yokai kids.”

“I have to, Dee. You guys only got into this fight alone because you didn’t call me as soon as your dads stepped away. Look, I’m super proud of you four for holding your own, but this is a big deal. You just had your first real hero-villain fight and you’re only ten.”

They all sag, mumbling apologies.

“Hey, I forgive you. And your dads will too. But you need to stop rushing into trying to grow up.” She pulls all four in for a hug. “You’re still our little turt tots.”

“We love you Auntie April,” they all chorus softly.

“I love y’all too. Now let’s settle down. I think I smell Raphie’s ‘Just broke out of hypnosis’ stink from here.”

[abbyslev]

Power dating headcannons would be cool *slides 100$*

𝑷𝑶𝑾𝑬𝑹 𝑫𝑨𝑻𝑰𝑵𝑮 𝑯𝑬𝑨𝑫𝑪𝑨𝑵𝑶𝑵𝑺

A/N: *grabs $100 and puts it in bra* ASK AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE also tysm for this cause power is literally my wife and i spent like all day on these TYSM FOR THIS

SIDE NOTE: i do apologize for closing request, but i’m gonna finish up and post all request!! i am so sorry if i haven’t gotten to yours, i’m working on them i’m so sorry!!!

Power hated you when you two first met

she never understood why, but she didn’t feel an urge to kill you

your blood wasn’t desirable in that way, it smelled sweet like honey, and she felt an attraction to you

she didn’t want to kill you, that’s what angered Power. she couldn’t understand why

once you two became closer and started dating, it was a completely different story

everytime you come pick Power up for dates, Aki will open the door and greet you and Power rams him out of the way, embracing you in a kiss

she’s sooooooo cuddly it’s insane

your hands are always linked together, her head in always on your shoulder and she’s always giving you little kisses everywhere 

after missions you carry her on your back and she falls asleep :( 

aki gets onto you both for goofing off 

YOU DENJI AND POWER>>>> 

aki’s worst nightmare as a trio basically 

denji asking if you guys touch each others  boobs ???

“ohhh… do you guys like…kiss too?” as he’s staring deep into your souls trying not to go crazy 

power sits on your lap and sleeps:(((((

you’ll brush her long hair after she bathes, careful around her horns while she goes on long rants about hating humans 

“except you. you know that.” as she gives you a devilish smile 

you guys are meowys parents :D

you have a cat at your apartment too, since aki only lets her have one at his apartment 

power basically lives at your apartment 

she’s always sprawled on top of you. she likes knowing you're with her

she sits in the bath bath bubbles with you wash her back and hum to her 

she takes your hoodies ALL THE TIME 

aki has to call you and make you calm  her down because she refuses to listen to anyone else

when you two fight devils she will always kill them before they even look your way

SOOO PROTECTIVE 

she bites 

“look at how cute these little marks are! :3” “babe, i’m bleeding.”

you had to explain pet names to her 

“love? my names power!” 

after she understands and get used to it, she calls you love, kitten, and dear! 

talks about you a lot

she notices a lot of small details

sometimes you come home from running errands or something and she’s upside down on your couch, watching tv and playing with the cats :)

dont expect to have your own space at night, power will glue you to herself if she has too 

“are you gonna finish that?” everytime you push your plate away

she growls at you for literally NO REASON

loves loves loves when you sit in between her legs and let her play with your hair :( 

likes to stand beside you or just a bit in front of you so she can hold your hand and drag you around 

stands on her tiptoes to kiss you 

UGH shen you drop her back off at Aki’s you always kiss her and she’s like :D

blushes blushes blushes blushes blushes 

she’s the little spoon always 

when she still has sm energy at night she’ll lay on top of you and ramble about annihilating the human race and keep all the cats and marrying you 

tries to help you with cooking 

“aki does this all the time” *flips eggs and watches them fall on the floor* “oops” 

she’s just so cute 

you have to constantly remind her to eat and drink water because her mind is in another world

overall 10/10 gf love her sm that’s my baby

[frostbite-the-bat]

I had many dreams today because I kept waking up so many fucking times and I ended up snoozing bc it made me sleep less than intended

But my favorite one was one where we had to go to like, a court test hearing...? It was some new method they were trying where everyone sits down to eat in a big room full of 4 person tables and there's dogs all around who are trained to hear stuff. then someone is approx in the middle who is also hearing out for stuff who the dogs are trained to go to once and if they hear something and the idea was that in a friendlier environment over some food the accused would just talk about what they did openly and the dogs are there to hear that and inform the person who's watching out for this

Before we did that though I was walking past some buildings with friends - it was like a mix of real life and Toontown. Was realistic but had some Toontown street elements and there were cogs all around

Sometimes really loud goofy music would play for a split second and one of the new board bots would dash into a building and disappear - and we'd sit down and wait and watch this and talk about "is this how staff is teasing this?"

We stood there as a new head honcho stood by some table next to a building for a while doing the dance cogs do when a toon misses an attack before they leave into a building

Then, I meet up with Flint, and I was Frostbite now! Except way younger, and more scared

We go in the building, too, where the previously mentioned test dog court thing would happen. We had to go up many stairs and my legs weren't handling it, so I tell that to Flint and he turns around and pauses, and offers me his hand to help push me up more

His hand was notably really warm and I felt safer around him and even like his behind him and hugged his leg when I saw how many people were in the place there (who decided to take a baby frostbite to a court thing)

His job was to be the official who the dogs would go to

So we find our table and sit down with 2 other people who were my friends in the dream previously - and we get some soup!!!!! Aaand I wake up shortly after but I remember I was looking at the wall behind me and there was a water... Thing? And it had an axolotl with big eyes peeking at me through it

And I like went "FLINT LOOK AT THE LITTLE GUY"!!!!!

Yea, I woke up soon after oops. I can't recall my other dreams in enough detail now but one I remember is me and a class + my dad going into a store and it having SO much Pokémon stuff and I was unable to pick anything because I loved pretty much all of it - and then the store owner gave us some storytime

[khaleesiofalicante]

Hello Danii

Could we have an epilogue for DML pretty please I just want to see mor Max 🥹!!!!!!!

Loved the fic btw !!!

The last chapter was the epilogue skdncks. I decided to write you a little Max deleted scene and accidentally wrote a whole thing.

Oops 🫢

He is too excited. A little too excited. 

He can’t sit still. So, he keeps shaking his legs in excitement. 

Max has wanted this for so long. David is sitting opposite him. Dad and bapak are here. Rafael and Anjali too. 

All of them are sitting together and having dinner. Like a family. Max has wanted this for so long, it’s almost making him vibrate. 

He can’t just sit and eat. He can’t just shut up and not tell anyone. He wants to shout it to the whole world. At least the whole train. 

But he knows doing so will put David in danger. It could put his family in danger too. The fucker Albert already knows about him. That’s probably why he got dad here. 

Although Max has no idea what the fuck bapak and rafe are doing here. 

He doesn’t care though. They’re all here together. He’ll take this as a win. 

David is telling bapak about being a writer. David hates lying. Especially to people he respects a lot. Max has told David a lot about his family. David has a lot of respect for his parents.

Max knows David actually likes to write. He hopes one day, when they sort out all this institute business, David will have the time and freedom to write whatever he wants. 

He’s a very good at telling stories. He’s even better at creating them. 

Max comes back to reality when he hears someone mention his name.

“Is it in French?” Bapak asks curiously. “I did try learning it but I’m not very fluent. Although Max speaks it quite well.”

David raises an amused eyebrow. Max wants to cackle so hard. 

“They say you speak it well. But you hardly speak it when we’re together,” David said in French. “You should speak in French more. Don’t you think?

“Maybe in bed,” Max replies with a grin. 

David goes red. Max sometimes forget how easy it is to mess with David. 

He suddenly finds a way to channel all the excitement. He takes off the shoe on his right foot and moves his leg over David’s thigh. David, who is drinking his wine, stops all so suddenly. 

He gives Max a very subtle glare. Max pretends not to see it. 

They are all making conversation about Paris - or whatever fuck. Max is incredibly into how well David is holding the conversation even with everything going on under the table. Literally.

He has to get his hands on his man. Now. 

“Paris is so expensive though,” Anjali says at one point. 

“That’s so true,” Max groans in agreement.

David hardly ever lets him spend on anything at all. But the city is still fucking expensive. Max wants to go back to New York. Not just because it’s cheaper. 

But he’s willing to wait. However long it takes. 

“You would know, wouldn’t you?” Bapaki shoots him a glare.

David looks confused by the tone and looks at dad.

Dad sighs. “Max was in Paris last year and spent half a million on a party.”

David chokes on his wine. “Half a million?”

Ah fuck. Max obviously didn’t tell him how much the ring cost him. All he knows is that David hasn’t taken it off, not even for a single second, since Max put it on him. 

Not even when Albert threatened him. 

David is worth all the millions in the world. 

The table falls quiet after a moment, except for Rafael’s giggling and Anjali’s soft whispers in Spanish. 

Max rolls his eyes. He wishes he could do that. He wishes he could love David like that too. 

Publicly. Proudly.

He loves David so much. He just wants everyone to know. He wants David to know.

“Did you enjoy your time in Paris?” 

Max looks up. David is looking at him. His eyes are warm and soft, as if he knows what Max is thinking. As if he feels the same way. 

“It was okay,” Max shrugs a little and then gives a grin only David has seen before. “I did really like the local cuisine. I loved having it inside my mouth.”

David chokes on his wine. Dad pats him on the back and starts to look around worriedly. 

“Please stop trying to turn me on in front of your parents,” David tells him in French, smiling the whole time.

“Stop making it so easy then,” Max smiles right back and responds in French.

Dad and bapak leave the dining carriage and walk into the corridor. Max doesn’t need to follow them to know what happens there. No thank you!

“David and I are going to check the, uh, engine,” Max announces and gets off his seat. 

Rafael, who is already making out with Anjali, looks like he couldn’t give a single fuck about Max, David or the engine - or the rest of the world. 

Max shrugs as he grabs David by the arm and drags him to the corridor on the opposite side. 

David pushes him against the glass door and kisses him hard. “I’ve been wanting to do that all evening.”

“Then why didn’t you?” Max whines. 

“You know why,” David says gently. “Mon ange, it isn’t safe.”

“You know what else is not safe? Skipping breakfast. Elyaas told me you didn’t eat anything today morning,” Max points out seriously. “Do you need me to force-feed you? I'm not above shoving croissants into your mouth, babygirl.”

“I was quite nervous about meeting your father,” David chuckles. “Can you blame me?”

“I think he likes you,” Max hums. 

“He literally told me he will kill me,” David deadpans. “Twice.”

“And he says that with love!” Max promises. “Give me your hand.”

David leans against the glass door and holds out his hand. “Why?”

“I just miss holding it,” Max shrugs and holds it carefully, threading their fingers together. “I miss you so much, sweetheart. My stupid room is stupid big.”

“You don’t like it?” David frowns. “I told Elyaas to-”

“It’s fine,” Max sighs. “I just…I just wish you were in it.”

David’s face softens. “One day, we’ll come back here. Just the two of us.”

“Promise?”

“Promise,” David whispers. His eyes move away and then he blushes a little and switches to French. “Your dad is walking toward us. Let go of my hand.”

“He probably already saw us,” Max shrugs and traces a finger over David’s palm, making him shiver a little. 

“What are you doing?” David blushes even more. 

“Reading your palm,” Max hums. 

“Do you know how to?” David asks curiously. 

“Not a fucking clue,” Max grins and touches a random line on David’s palm. “And this is the marriage line.”

[imonthemoonitsmadeofcheese]

RULES: post the names of all the files in your WIP list, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send an ask with the title that most intrigues them and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it. And then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

Ok so… this is where we get into just how utterly chaotic my creative process is, but not in a way that results in oodles of files that have creative interesting names - quite the opposite in fact.

You see… I have currently have 16 files and the titles are:

Moonrat Moonrat 2 Moonrat 3 Moonrat 4 … all the way up to the current Moonrat 16

The reason for this is that I don't actually separate different stories into individual files until they end up on Ao3. It's all just one long running thing all squished together with a few spaces between 'chunks' that sometimes, but not always, end up being separate stories and/or chapters. And I'm a packrat (pack-moonrat?) and never throw anything away so if something is cut out it's usually shoved in a free spot at the bottom of everything else to be used in something else later.

When Google docs starts taking too long to load and spazzes on me with lag, that's when I start a new file.

Because my first drafts end up looking more like free-verse poetry than stories, with usually only between 1 and 5 words on a line, either in bits of un-attributed dialogue or point form ideas, it often goes on for a ridiculous number of pages, so these tend to be large documents. I also am really really bad at titles. Except in very rare situations, everything comes out as untitled brain vomit and then is titled very close to the end (sometimes mid Ao3 post when I realize 'oh yes, titles are a thing - oops') long after I've turned it into actual sentences with real grammar and such.

Basic unfinished idea-chunks that are ongoing include, but are not limited to:

30-some pages of the first Dawning story that is still unfinished (I ended up realizing I would not finish the writing challenge in time if I continued the inordinately long Dawning story I had begun so I wrote "Dawning Oasis" instead and will finish this one some other time)

the Drifter on a special secret mission for Eris in the Sepulcher lost sector in the Throne World

Eris finding a renegade Hive chapel dedicated to her on the Moon

the last chapter(s) of "Dance with Vengeance" (this has since been posted)

several false starts based upon lyrics to other Crane Wives songs for that one writing challenge I did (as opposed to the completed one with sad Drifter having nightmares called "Ashes, Ashes")

oodles of random snippets of dialogue

Drifter teaching Eris to cook and/or cooking and/or Eris eating various dishes

various iterations of Eris exhibiting telepathy and/or non-normative vision that I have rejected from current projects for consistency reasons which may end up in other things later

more Immaru bullying like in "Visitation" and "Wind Chimes" (he knows what he did)

lots more nightmares because, when I'm not writing fanfiction, that's one of my narrative specialities

several false starts for the sequel/enactment of the private gambit match discussed in "Hide and Seek"

bits pertaining to and/or including/referencing that one bog slug

Per the rules above, you are invited to ask/message about any/all of these (or, quite frankly, anything else - I do not bite unless we both agree that I wish to bite you and you wish to be bitten).

I have never done a thing like this before, nor have I ever tagged anyone else on tumblr before, so here's hoping I did this correctly. I was tagged by: @flowers-of-io and I am tagging: @redbutterflies-blueeyes @synnthamonsugar @bbyfacedx and @annieruok94

I would love to tag more people but I actually have quite the serious disconnect between who people are on Ao3 and who people are on here and I am very easily confused. If you look at this and go "But why did you not tag me? Do you not love me?" The answer is: "No I just have no fucking clue what I'm doing. Please say hello and tell me who you are on Ao3 so I can include you if I ever do a thing like this again."

That is all.

[cathalbravecog]

idk if you already guessed it but thomas is my favorite ttcc character (totally did not draw like 15 drawings of him) and mmm uhmmm uhm what is your opinion on the good ol' ottoman?

I AM FINALLY GETTING TO THIS ASK. LET THE AUTISM BEGIN. THIS GUY BEEN ROTATING IN MY HEAD. MAYBE NOT THE WHOLE TIME BUT HOO BOY HE TAKES OVER SOMETIMES. AND U ALREADY KNOW I LIKE THIS GUY TOO. YOU AND ME. THE THOMAS WARRIORS. I MAY NOT SHOW IT A LOT BUT I CARE THOMAS A LOT. This is gonna be all over the place you will get lost here but come onto my mental illness adventure with me once more. I thought I had little to say but you opened an dven bigger tism adhd gate

I love Thomas our man SO MUCH he's literally like my second favorite blorbo in Toontown after Cathal that I can lore think about (BC HR joined Mt TTCC blorbo beasts list except he doesn't really have lore oops) I mean he's even on my phone case now, too, with other things that are important to me and he DESERVES IT

I really liked and cared about him before BUT!! this update and being able to finally see him in game myself after missing the other events... It is VERY VERY NICE and it made me like Thomas even MOREEEE

OK NOW TO ANSWER LIKE. THE OPINION QUESTION MORE DIRECTLY. He's a really fun character and as a duo with Robert he works rather well. He's ways in the background, overshadowed by his brother...(Who kind of needs him sometimes since the start of the company and YKNOW the literal guy he uh. Stands on to be level with the other Cogs. Like these guys need each other and I can elaborate on that more later) Working quietly. And yet he's quite the talker when he opens up and gets the chance to!! He's like me and a lot of people I know (I sure relate to him in this regard lol I literally state I ramble a lot in MY BIO and I DO) - more quiet and reserved people, sometimes seen as lonely... But with many things on mind, just waiting for the right people to trust to share these things with. Genuine trust or just comfort in a given situation... It's whatever but it's does also tie to another thing I wanna talk about later....or now actually

I know they state he is not befriending the Toons in the podcast - but with the way he speaks with us and his literal actions - it speaks louder than that and I think we should be allowed to make the interpretation that he is slowly gaining our trust. And I think it's a very interesting concept that the literal brother of the man behind this evil company that goes against the toons... Is befriending them. ( and literally your comic) the potential here is insane and it's more interesting than just yeah he stays true to his word he doesn't like you

It's clear that he does care - but it's true he's a very caring person in general. (then again a part of it is letting people step over him...literally. And he's aware of it and he dislikes it! Another thing I can relate to and speak from the heart about. But there's things I don't relate to and of course relatability is not all the reason why I like him... But it is a big part of it. Sorry not sorry I will project onto this man later) he does show he cares by literally closing the elevator and lying to save us from being seen... And waiting it out till the air is clear to let us in. Where he as always chats with us. Yeah they did say he just kinda puts up with it and since there's people to talk to he does ramble but... Some of the stories he tells are personal and he is aware of it. He did save you that one time and he did offer those cookies to you as well.. Even if you can't eat them. That's not even giving out the past items like some extra stock laying around he needs to get rid of...

(also I need to see if anyone reciphered those papers, already I love solving ciphers. It's an easy ceasar cipher yeah but having to rewrite this shit is that goofy fun part I did it with the papers at chips place... Idk if these r available somewhere.)

And the sweater?? Also very personal!! And like more story based as there's technically just one but ofc there's multiple players but in this case you can imagine yourself going there alone to speak with him each time as an individual... Like....the story about the extra stuff doesn't apply here this is personal.

But it is true he probably.. Does want to get rid of it. He makes a gift from the heart and it goes under appreciated. Unwanted...yeah I wouldn't want to see it either. But someone else may want it so yknow... Cutely gives it to the toons.

Like come on you can't tell me this guy isn't trusting these toons slightly, or, story wise, the toon/toons who come see him each April toons. Of course the recent one is the freshest in my mind and I only experienced the precious ones through reading the dialogue... I may miss some details of things he rambled about... But I genuinely believe with each visit he grows to trust the toons more and oh boy that could be interesting conflict... Who knows it could be brought up later with whatever board boy HQ is gonna be...plearse let us see Robert too I'm gonna implode

Anyways BACK ONTO THOMAS. I love this guy he's really nice I'd love to just sit in a room with him and exist together and sloy dwelve into back and forth rambling about stuff and I'd totally hype up his knitting... I just AURGHH. He had things going for him and these expectations... That he didn't met up to. But his brother had a plan and Thomas being well... Thomas. Not the leader type - he followed along... Because it was the best for him as who he is even if his parents wanted him to do other things

Despite the two (Him and Robert ofc) not exactly agreeing on things alwyad there's still care between them as brothers... They really are a duo!! Even if the topic is uh. A really corrupt capitalist robot company... And with Robert being preeeetty much very much so an asshole it's still just. Aurgh. Fun. Love the dynamic. Robert could just be an ass but he still cares about Thomas by some regard... I think about the time he watered Bubby for Thomas despite his hatred for the plant a lot okay

Thomas and Robert are already the most like, lore full characters (or Cogs specifically) other than some mgrs now and Atticus and Redd - but there's still so much like... Of an mysterious aura about them. We only hear about their lives and never see it... Robert we see in action in the comics - but we see him ONCE in game in a CUTSCENE MOST PEOPLE SKIP... Thomas we see in the background of the comics only speaking like... Once, I believe?? Even if he's there he's really easy to just... Not even notice. But he appears ingame and speaks DIRECTLY TO YOU. SEVERAL TIMES. for ALMOST HALF AN HOUR STRAIGHT...and he tells you a lot about his and by extentions Robert's personal life - something the comics can't tell you, and surely not the short cutscene with Robert during the directors fight

Like... They have the most lore but a lot of things are still unclear and it makes people want more answers and ponder more and it's BRILLIANT. I love it. I mean... I could rant about how a lot of info is hardly accessible in TTCC as a genuine criticism of how the game and lore is handled... But that's maybe for another day. BACK TO THOMAS SO LIKE ANYWAY- Thank you for canon aro ace character who states his opinions directly and is not forced to do it... And for fans being respectful about his identity for the most part as I can see and not... Forcing him to be romantic for ships. I avoid the fandom, mostly, specifically for reasons like this and because people scare me... So. I don't know how it really is. But an issue with aro ace characters is that even if we have a Canon one often fans will make them involved in romance for stupid ships anyway, absolutely erasing their identity. And then they bring up the "SOME AROSPEC/ASPEC PEOPLE DO DATE"... But they do this for all characters and ignore the chunk of people who don't, who just want to see themselves represented in media...im very tired of this being taken away from us as... Yknow. An aroace person myself. Thank you thomas for your swag.

Sooo.. How about some headcanons and personal things and me projecting because MOST HCS ARE JUST THAT!!!

Okay hey did you know I work with plants too? Yeah. (VERY SHITTY) agriculture school goer here.. Florist specifically.. Yeah I have no life plans for this but that's personal. Oh hey that sounds like someone I know. (also being around plants a lot makes me think abt thomas bc of association... And bc I'm spaces out 24/7 very likely thinking about my hyperfixation and the lore anyway to escape the moment. Uh I have problems OK?) Anyways...

Before I get to general projection stuff I wanna say my hcs!!

I think he sometimes carries gardening tools in his pockets and forgets about them. I do that. Forgets whole sharp gardening shears and then he needs to take out a pencil for someone, and instead he whips out something use able as a weapon. FUN!

I am not sure if it's stayed what his first knitting was ever... But whether or not this was his first or later knitting project doesn't matter - but I like to think that he knitted pot decorations for his plants!! Little pot sweaters, maybe!! Wouldn't even overheat the plants (some plants have veeery specific requirements but his ficuses should be fine) , I think, they don't give off heat for the sweater to insulate anyway, so it would really be just decorational....

And again, if the Cogs had cats I think he'd be a cat dad.

And now. The personal projection observation part... A reason why I think I like him so much is because I relate to him AND Robert. As someone who is a... Well. The anger issue filled, family failure shorter and younger sibling in my family... I can see myself in that. Some parts of the story really hit home... I'm not gonna get too personal here, but my relationship with my brother is... Rocky...been getting better though. He's very successful and I haven't done much in my life. He's the leader role. On the other hand, the dynamic here for Thomas and Robert is swapped... Thomas could've followed the success his parents set him up for, but he followed the lead of his brother instead - who his parents didn't see as good enough.

It's very different things, yes, but the things that are similar are what brings it a bit closer... Even if some things don't align well I can feel my heart sink when Thomas talks about it because. Ahaha yeah that ties to some of my biggest worries in life and it relates to me being the loser child in the family whoops

And just.. I AM. GOIGN TO EXPLODE. FUNNY HAHA CHAIR AND STEPPING STOOL THING ROBOTS. WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME. I AM GOING TO EXPLODE AGAIN. I CARE THESE BEASTS I MUCH. I THINK THIS COVERS MOST OF IT. OTHERWISE I'D REPEAT MYSELF. THERE'S PROBABLY MORE I'LL REMEMBER LATER BUT THIS IS IT FOR NOW. Thank you for giving me a place to ramble about whatever in regards to a character somewhere that isn't... Me talking to myself on my Discord server on a Toontown channel dedicated to myself only. Hope ANY OF U FOUND THIS ENTERTAINING TO READ. Even if I'm. Probably.... Wrong on some things but that's okay if anyone mean to me I explode them too ok

I care the him

[sarcasticsciencefictionwriter]

@galactic-pirates thanks so much for the tag!! ❤️❤️❤️

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

77, currently. Participating in my first October in fandom really boosted my numbers. Most are Stargate SG-1 stories.

2. What’s your total ao3 word count?

400,661.

I thought it would actually be higher, but I've only been on AO3 since May of this year, so...

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Sanctuary (22) and Stargate SG-1 (53) , currently. My two favorite fandoms and I'm really trying to boost my Sanctuary numbers since I've burst on to the scene of a such a small fandom I love.

I have written an X-Files story, but I don't plan on writing more.

I did write for Fantastic Beasts (3) a few years ago and posted my old works because I was proud of my writing, but I'm not currently in that fandom.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Flufftober really changed my numbers, so this is my brand-new tally. All of them are Sam/Jack one-shots. (Hence the short summaries)

One Snowy Day (Stargate SG-1, Flufftober) - 53

Off-planet, Sam comes down with a cold.

Two Kinds of Sparks (Stargate SG-1, Tumblr request) - 52

Sam Carter owns her own mechanic shop, struggling to get by. Her day gets a lot more interesting when a mystery man comes into her shop for repairs.

One Rainy Day (Stargate SG-1, Flufftober) - 51

On a rainy day off-planet, Sam and Jack hang out in a tent.

Blue Jell-O (Stargate SG-1, Flufftober) - 48

Five times Jack didn't eat blue jell-o and one time he did.

Oops (Stargate SG-1, Flufftober) - 46

Sam accidentally injures Jack.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

My policy is always to respond to comments, because I very much appreciate getting them and want to express my gratitude to the people who took the time to leave a comment.

My one, new exception is one particular user. I've started ignoring them after seeing they were continuing toxic behavior (that I didn't recognize when it was aimed towards me) towards a fellow writer and friend. (I will elaborate under the hate question)

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Oof, I write a lot of angst and whump, but I try not to leave off with an angsty ending and I have a lot of on-going stories that aren't going to have 'happy' endings when I get there. Hmm....

I'd have to say right now it would have to be 'You Said You'd Never Leave' (Sanctuary), because that involved canonical whump and angst. 'The Last of the Tau'ri' (Stargate SG-1) probably also counts, but since it was a crossover/rewrite based off 'The Last of Us' with the characters, I don't count it as being *my* ending.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Here comes this question right after Flufftober. Ha! (I now have many fluff endings).

Probably 'To Love is to Hurt' (Fantastic Beasts), but I'm a little reluctant on that one, though it does involve fluff, healing, and a baby.

'First Night' (Sanctuary) involves so much family feels, though, I have to slip that one in there too.

8. Do you get hate on fic?

Now this is complicated. I once had a reader tell me they wanted to block me for my story 'Laundry Day' because I disgusted them.

Other than that, as I previously mentioned, I have had problems with a toxic reader/commentor. They have (sometimes) told me I did good on a story, but then immediately try to tie each Sanctuary story into their precise view of canon, and correct me when I didn't fall into that, editing their comments upwards of a dozen times.

They used language such as 'I was surprised by this, but I'm okay with it' and 'I thought you put this in here because you just really liked this in Sanctuary, not because it lined up with the crossover' and 'You have become repetitive in your dynamic' followed by 'You have succeeded in surpassing your roadblock' on the next chapter.

So, it wasn't *hate* precisely, but most definitely very toxic/bullying behavior that I didn't recognize until I wanted to explode in defense of a friend.

9. Do you write smut?

Nope. I wouldn't know where to start.

10. Do you write crossovers?

Yes, I do!

My story 'Come Now, Little One...' (Stargate SG-1/Sanctuary) is a story about Sam Carter being Helen Magnus's biological daughter and being raised in the Sanctuary Network before joining the SGC.

'Tesla's Moving Castle' is a Sanctuary/Howl's Moving Castle crossover that is so much fun.

'The Abnormal X-File' (Sanctuary/The X-Files) is about Mulder and Scully discovering the Five and the Sanctuary Network.

I have many other ideas I haven't gotten down yet.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I am aware of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No that I am aware of.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not yet, but I would love to do so in my chosen fandoms with authors I'm familiar with/are familiar with me!

My sometimes-beta has proposed co-writing, though, so it may happen sometime soon.

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

Probably Sam/Jack if you look at my works. They're great. But I also refuse to choose between Helen/John and Helen/Nikola because they are great for different reasons. I'm actually new to shipping, so I stand by these for the moment.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but probably won’t?

I don't publish without being certain I'm going to finish, so...probably my unpublished WIP about Sam Carter and Jonas Hansen, because I really don't know how to write that.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I would have to say my determination to finish my stories is probably my biggest strength. I've abandoned many (original) works in the past and I don't want to continue that, so I keep going, even when it's very hard.

I'm also pretty good at angst and whump and have lots of ideas.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

A lot.

I struggle with description of emotions and background, to the point where I'm always afraid my stories are lacking even when I'm very happy with them.

Fluff has been difficult for me (hence my undertaking of Flufftober) and I always feel my happy writing is forced.

I also overthink far too much.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I've sprinkled in a little bit and I would love to do it more, but I don't have access to anything other than Google Translate for most languages, so I'm hesitant to do so because I don't want to be wrong or disrespectful.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Warrior Cats. I never have (and never will) publish anything for it and I wrote it before I knew fanfiction was even a thing. I was a kid and obsessed with the battle kitties. I must have been around 10 at the time.

The first fandom I knowingly wrote a fanfiction for was Fantastic Beasts after the second movie was released.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Cruel to make me choose. 'The Abnormal X-File' is one of the pieces I'm proudest of, so it falls there because I'm rarely so proud of my writing. 'Bleeding Through the Blue' (Sanctuary, WIP) and 'Mind Over Matter' (Stargate SG-1, WIP) also fall in there.

Tagging @electricrogue, @wittywallflower, @lanistas, @misscrazyfangirl321, and @tina-mairin-goldstein

The questions!

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

2. What’s your total ao3 word count?

3. What fandoms do you write for?

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

8. Do you get hate on fic?

9. Do you write smut?

10. Do you write crossovers?

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but probably won’t?

16. What are your writing strengths?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

19. First fandom you wrote for?

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

[stuffeddeer]

i just wanna hug dazai all the time randomly (i never get hugs at home) and if he were to hug me i would cry (a little)

i also feel likes his hugs would feel so so safe warm and comforting

(could i please be 🌹 anon?)

im collecting more anons like Pokémon omg YES you are in my Pokédex now hiiii 🌹anon sorry this took so long (like every rq oops!)

i included platonic hcs at the end as well bc why not

cw: dazai-standard suicide mention, i use the word vomit once ?

Hugging Dazai catches him off guard. Or it used to, you had found - randomly jumping on top of him throughout the day whenever you'd see him. It started sporadically and became more frequent, which led to Dazai becoming more prepared. He'd tense up as you entered a room, ready for you to pounce.

It started as a playful bit, knowing Dazai tended to short circuit when given affection. You'd seen it multiple times with Atsushi, the lovable boy having no clue why Dazai would panic a little when randomly given flowers that one time, or why he was so surprised when Atsushi spared a few kind words. It was little things, things Dazai clearly wasn't used to, and it always made you smile.

So of course, you wanted to do the same.

The first time he nearly pushed you off of him, choosing instead to hold his hands up like you were some cop trying to take him down. The second he'd merely frozen, breath baited as he waited for you to let go. By the third, he was able to brush it off with an awkward laugh, and the more it happened the more he was able to respond with a joke or the like. But you never missed the way his whole body seemed to pause for a moment.

Of course, once you noticed he was mentally and physically preparing before you even did it, you started to think you might've pushed too hard. Was he uncomfortable? Was he unsure of how to ask you to stop? It made you feel guilty, especially when he started flinching when you entered the room, knowing what was coming next.

You stopped.

It wasn't like it was hard, and the guilt eating at you was much worse. Dazai wasn't the only touch starved one, but you'd not-so happily give up the brief second of hug you got when seeing Dazai in favor of him feeling safe around you, as well as keeping your friendship alive.

It was hard at first, arms moving up slightly on instinct as you had to constantly remind yourself to stop. After maybe a week of no more hugging, you finally felt relieved - everything was back to normal. Dazai wouldn't freeze when you walked into a room, your hands wouldn't twitch as though trying to reach out for him.... Everything was normal.

Except Dazai, again.

Something was off, you could tell. While everyone gets confused sometimes, watching Dazai of all people furrow his brows and look away from you was almost scary. One of the greatest geniuses in Yokohama was confused by something - by you. Nothing had changed, had it? Maybe he was confused by why the hugs stopped, but you're sure he's smart enough to realize that on his own. You didn't want him to feel uncomfortable around you, that's all.

It didn't take long for the confusion to turn to veiled fear. He hid it well, you being none the wiser - but Dazai couldn't help the anxiety that grew around you. It wasn't like you were avoiding him, you still acted the exact same. You just kept your hands behind your back and made sure to maintain distance.

But that's what scared Dazai - the distance. The worry and fear he felt stemmed from the reason why; why had you stopped in the first place? All he could think of was that you finally figured out his secret. Dazai has a huge crush on you.

He’d always tensed up when you hugged him, feeling his heart rate far from his usual controlled pace and instead beating quicker than he could’ve imagined. Something so small and normal as a hug left him breathless when it came from you, and his greatest fear was that you felt the harsh thrumming of his heart and decided to stop. If you knew his secret, then this surely is you rejecting him.

The thought makes Dazai nervous. Being rejected is normal for him, never one to shy away from shooting his shot. Asking any person with a pulse to kill themselves with him left the brunet very accustomed to the response of “no.” Even being yelled at or hit by some unruly people was something he accepted with a smile, but the thought of you politely turning him down made his chest ache.

You stopped hugging him. Surely you didn’t feel the same.

Dazai understands he is an attractive person, both in looks and personality, and he’s more than used to leveraging these factors in his favor. Just a few weeks ago, he 100% was sure that you had a crush on him, a huge one at that, and he quite enjoyed toying with you every now and again when work days would drag on. But now, he couldn’t tell left from right. Daily hugs to quitting cold turkey made him so nervous, knowing you must be too uncomfortable to even touch him anymore let alone hug him.

That’s fine. He’s fine with that. People changing their minds about him, people leaving - Dazai is used to that. You deciding you don’t like him anymore (maybe just the attention he gave before rather than crushing on him specifically?) and moving on when you realized he likes you instead is fine. It’s fine.

Yet he still finds himself frowning in your direction when you aren’t looking. Nervousness is annoying, but he was hoping it’d lead him away from you. Still, however, Dazai finds himself following you with his eyes whenever you so much as re-situate yourself in a chair. He can’t help but silently beg for you to come over to him, even though he knows he’d nearly vomit if you did. How annoying.

Of course, sitting across from each other for lunch isn’t conducive for moving on and staying away from you, but you happened to stumble upon the brunet and his bespectacled coworker at the cafe and got an invitation from the latter. “I have to get back to work. Mind making sure Dazai doesn’t do anything too drastic again?” Kunikida had said to you, to which you kindly agreed - how could you have said no?

Dazai wishes you did, every brush of his knee against yours making him lose more and more of his appetite. With Kunikida gone, after a few beats of silence, you let out a sigh. “Sorry. I’ll leave you to it, okay? Good luck at work.” Just as you stand up to leave, Dazai - stupid, stupid Dazai - grabs your arm.

The action causes you to cock your head, confused as he grabs you. The face makes him quickly let go, grabbing his mug of tea instead so his hands don’t reach out again. “You’ve been avoiding me,” he starts, deciding to just get it out of his system. Maybe if you rejected him to his face, he could move on. “No more… hugs and stuff.”

Slowly, you slide back into the booth seat, a solemn look on your face. “Yeah.”

“Yeah,” he murmurs into the mug, not wanting to make eye contact. What does “yeah” even mean? Is this your way of saying you know? You know he knows?

“Um, well, I know you don’t really like affection. I know you aren’t used to it, I should say. I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. I’m sorry for continuing for so long,” you finally apologize, the guilt that built up over time washing away finally.

“No, no,” he starts, turning to look at you rather than his mug. “Uncomfortable? You thought I didn’t like it?”

You deadpan, unamused. “Dazai, you used to tense up when I entered a room and I saw you flinch a few times when I got close.” Slowly, your expression turns, no longer unamused. “I’m not that stupid, man…” A small chuckle punctuates your last sentence.

Of course that’s what you took away from it. Dazai feels like an idiot, so worried that you might have realized his secret that he didn’t even pay attention to what was in front of him. You stopped for him, of course! Because you still like him. He’s sure of it, knowing you stopped something that clearly made you happy just for his comfort.

“Thank god,” he sighs in relief, causing you to raise an eyebrow.

“..? Did you actually think I was that stupid?”

“No, you idiot - I thought you were rejecting me. You still like me, that’s perfect.”

You fluster at Dazai’s words, eyes widening at the bluntness of it all. “Wh-what?! How is that what you got from what I said?”

He only grins in response, the bandaged man leaning forward over his teacup to reach you. Dazai was never one to explain what was in his mind, leaving you confused and flustered across from him. “It’s okay, pretty - I feel the same,” he whispers into your ear, only so he can watch as you shiver at the feeling of his breath against it. After pulling back, his smug grin only grows. “I thought you were avoiding me because you found out.”

Staring at him, you wonder why it is that you like him. At least now you can go back to hugging him all the time.

platonic hugging Dazai hcs 😽

like above, he's caught off guard at first

but then he decides to return the favor >:)

dazai will try and catch you off guard with a hug and it quickly turns into high stakes tag

the two of you immediately make eye contact when you're in the same room, and actively RUN from each other so the other can't hug first

high stakes tag. dazai jumped off a roof to catch you off guard one time. now he isn't allowed roof access at the ada 🙂‍↕️

he can still jump from the windows

it hits a point where everyone Around you is nervous. you two have vaulted over tables and everything it's scary

rooms will empty if the both of you are in one

dazai is definitely winning sorry! he feels it in his bones when you're about to arrive and hides behind doors to jump out at you 🙂‍↕️

[female-malice]

Sometimes I think about all the ways nature tried to discourage us from agrarian society.

A band of humans does not have enough energy between them to do all the work of an ecosystem. Humans who try to do that will be too stressed and tired to bond with each other and reproduce. The happy and relaxed hunter/gatherer/agroforestry bands will always outnumber the agrarian bands toiling in the dirt.

Uh oh. The agrarian bands are skipping the long bonding and courtship process. They're threatening women with starvation in order to coerce them into reproduction. Yeah... their population is growing. Big time. They're outnumbering their happy hunter/gatherer/agroforestry neighbors by like 10 to 1. Oh no, now it's 20 to 1 💀

No worries. If humans work the land excessively and hoard the ecosystem's nutrients, nature has a plan. Rodents! Rodents can keep humans from hoarding all those nutrients away. Rodents can bring the nutrients back out into the wider ecosystem.

But now small wildcats are allying with human farmers 💀

Okay, that's fine. There are microscopic servants of nature that cats can't hunt and kill. Tiny little creatures that travel around in water droplets. Beautiful mildews and molds that colonize grain silos faster than rodents. They ferment the grains with toxic psychotropic hallucinations to warn humans to quit overworking land and hoarding nutrients.

Unfortunately, humans misinterpreted these hallucinations completely. They grew suspicious of outsiders who lived on the edge of settlements and didn't eat much from grain silos. These outsiders had all kinds of special ancient hunter/gatherer/agroforestry knowledge that helped them survive without moldy grains. The moldy grain people suspected that the outsiders were causing the hallucinations. So they killed them. And they killed their ancient land knowledge, too. Oops 💀

Oh well. There are laws of ecosystems. If you cut down trees, you drive away birds. And if you drive away birds, bugs will eat your crops. And the land will whither and grow barren over time. So the agrarian experiment will fail no matter what.

Except humans kept all the corpses of the trees. And they turned the tree corpses into massive boats and discovered more fertile lands to exploit 💀

[t-swift-converter]

(part 8 of a blog following a wife’s adventure trying to convince her husband he’s a swiftie. follow my page for more!)

POST 8 - Celebrity Drama Rabbit Hole

Hi there! Today I am solo traveling on a quick trip to the East coast. I always feel like I should do something artsy like writing when I’m in an airport. Usually I end up just buying expensive snacks and rewatching Gilmore Girls. But there is something particularly dreamy about airports.

So, here’s a post to channel some creativity and keep my wallet from suffering. :)

One thing my hubby always falls for is celebrity drama. Hahaha I have a story. I hope by this point you have a general understanding for how this guy feels about modern pop music. So, normally I go to skip Justin Bieber when he comes on (except when I really don’t care what Dave thinks and I listen to what I want, which is most of the time haha) because he will probably make fun of it/him. Sometimes, the jokes are warranted – like when we listen to that rumble of a monologue at the end of “Purpose” (do you know the one?!) – but other times the jokes just hurt. Lol. Alright, this is so off topic, moving on with the story. So, SELENA GOMEZ comes on. “Lose You To Love Me.” A solid hit from a few years back. I casually mention that the fan theory is that this song is about Justin and he gets all intrigued – “they dated?”

“Ohhh yes they dated. And then stopped dating, then on again and off again. It’s a whole thing.” I build up some suspense. Then I hit him with a banger that I think slaps even harder than Selena’s original song. I YouTube what I feel like is the greatest mashup ever put together. “Sorry x Lose You to Love Me.” (A version is linked to the post so give it a listen).

I play the song and explain how they so perfectly fit together because it’s like they are actually singing to one another and it's magical and majestical and so riddled with emotion it’s crazy.

Dave loves it. I’m shook. But it’s not just the songs he likes. He starts asking questions about their dating history that I don’t even know. We start googling on this drive the whole timeline and different news articles and by the time we get home we have tracked every get-together and break-up and even whispers of rumors of them being seen together from like the start of 2009 to 2018. Then, I throw in the drama caused by Hailey Bieber and Dave eats it up. I have shoved him so far down this rabbit hole that I can’t even get him to come out. At home I start choppin stuff for lunch and he’s at the table finding Youtubers to explain to him how every move Hailey Bieber makes on social media is some kind of dis on Selena and how the Jenners are in on it. Apparently there’s some dance video and makeup tutorial video and… and soon I am asking him to give it a break! Like, woah, now I just wanna eat lunch in peace!! Hahaha. So, there’s one of Dave’s deep dark secrets that I just spilled on the internet, oops! but it gives such good insight into who he is.

Huge plus that you Swifties have probably already thought of. Selena and Taylor are like BFFs for life and I definitely told Dave that because it needs to be crystal clear who is on the “good” side of this drama. I’ll admit though I’m a little afraid to ever bring up JB x Selener again..

I’m thinking the next drama I should introduce to Dave should be the Taylor Swift x Jake Gyllenhaal drama as we’re listening to All Too Well (Ten Minute Version). Show him the music video too?? Or maybe to keep more current just throw Harry Styles in there. Ohhh yes. Endless potential.

*taps fingers together smiling cynically*

[messengerhermes]

so you suppressed your needs too long and now are overwhelmed

look, I'm not going to jump to the "you need to put on your oxygen mask first" speech, because chances are you know that and me going down that road is only going to invite shame.

Because here's the thing:

Even if we logically know we need to prioritize our needs before helping other people, there are still times and contexts where that's going to be really hard for us and we'll probably end up putting ourselves in the bottom of our top five, if we even manage to rank in the top five at all.

It's okay to not be the perfect master of self compassion and self care.

You're not a monster or a failure when this happens. You're trying, caring, and probably exhausted.

Hell, you may not even realize you're putting yourself last.

Some signs you may be in "Put yourself last" mode:

Emotion struggles. Maybe you're going through most of the day with no idea what you're feeling, except for brief, intense pockets where your feelings are so big you can't do or process anything else. Maybe your feelings are flickering rapid fire between emotions in ways that leave you disoriented. Maybe you're struggling to tell where the lines between your emotions and the people around you's emotions are.

Thinking issues. Do you keep losing track of what your to do list is? Are you struggling to remember the steps for basic tasks? Does it feel like you need to run to keep up with conversations, work projects, or anything logistic based?

Demand overwhelm. Does every request made of you send alarm bells blaring in your head? Do emails/texts/phone calls fill you with dread? If you work, are you struggling to stay on task and keep up with what's asked of you?

Sleep/energy issues: whether that's too much, too little, always feeling tired or even feeling a little manic in that "go go go" way

Bio Needs issues: Are you not noticing when you're hungry, thirsty, need to use the bathroom? Are you going hours without eating and once you do remember you need food, you feel disinterested? Is it hard to notice if you're physically uncomfortable/too hot/too cold without someone else asking you?

Here's the thing--put yourself last mode is often born from a mixture of good intentions (we want to help the people we care about) and bad socialization (we've been taught our needs are not important, especially in "crisis" situations). It's great to want to care about others, but it can become unhealthy if we do so to the detriment of ourselves. It can get dangerous if we aren't able to catch ourselves in this, we can risk damaging the very relationships we're trying so hard to show up in and can cause ourselves some very real harm in the process. So, what do you do? Truth be told, this is a long term issue to work on. It will take a lot of time and deliberate work and practice to reduce the chances of you falling into a place where you repress your needs. It will take a lot of time and practice to catch yourself when you start to enter the "I'm last on my list" zone. But, when you do catch yourself doing this, there are some short term things you can do. This is not a complete list and some of these may not apply to you. As always, take what works and leave what doesn't. "Oops I forgot I'm a person with needs" emergency triage kit:

Get out of the situation. If there is a particular situation or set of relationships that you're finding yourself stuck in this place with, get space. This may be hard, either because of external factors, or internal ones like feeling as if getting space will mean abandoning people you care for. But, if you're unable to prioritize your needs in a situation, sometimes you need a hard reset of distance (physical or mental) to remind your brain that you are a separate person from whoever you're trying to support and that forgetting that can actually strain everyone involved. Either take a full on pause from those circumstances, or if that's not possible, section off several hours a day where you are not engaged at all with that situation.

Create a feelings container. If you've been repressing your feelings, that dam is gonna break eventually. Depending on what your life circumstances are (ie, if you've been going through a stressful time yourself and denying yourself the chance to process that) and how long you've been putting your feelings on hold, you may have some pretty big emotions or a lot of intense emotions built up. Create space where you feel able to feel. Maybe read a book, watch a show, or listen to music that lets you feel your feelings. Take time with loved ones you feel able to be emotional in front of, ideally doing something that lets you move your body while also giving you room to talk about your feelings if you want or need to (this doesn't have to be very energetic, it can be painting, making a meal, going on a walk). If you have access to a therapist or support groups, engage with that space.

Reduce your responsibilities. Say no to shit that is not necessary and does not bring you joy. Let yourself do the bare minimum when it comes to chores and school/work. Make it as easy as possible to feed and clothe yourself.

Prioritize time for yourself. Make it an active thing in your calendar if you need to. But every day, try to spend at least two hours where you are not trying to be productive and the only human you are responsible for is you

Schedule low intensity social time. Hang out with people in your life who generally don't look to you as an emotional support pillar. Try aiming for activities that allow you to play and get you out of the house.

Give yourself grace. You're probably gonna have a hard time for a bit handling emotionally or mentally stressful situations. You may end up overreacting if people hurt your feelings. Things you typically can do easily may feel too much to handle. Don't beat yourself up. Be responsible for any harm you cause or balls you drop, but don't push yourself to do more than you can or treat yourself like an asshole because you spoke poorly or forgot a meeting.