#i’ve been watching this show for like 10 years and i don’t think i’ve ever seen unhinged behavior like this

[verstappenf1lecccc]

Imma need this haah so I was watching the race yesterday and I heard Nando come on the radio to say he would have given in by now but he needs to do it for a few people etc and I’ve seen the video at the end of the race where he’s struggling to get out of the car I can’t send it if you haven’t seen it and was thinking of Nando x reader based around this. You know me throw some angst in there and lots of fluff please 🙏 your my favourite Nando writer I love your work ❤️

I am so sorry this took so long I have an exam today and just wanted to finish it before I went in!! i hope you like it :)

For you

Fernando Alonso had never been one to back down from a challenge or a fight.

It wasn’t in his nature.

He never caved, never gave up, no matter how overwhelming the situation or how drained he felt.

That was what made the Brazilian Grand Prix such a shock—not just to Aston Martin, but to you, especially.

You had been by Fernando’s side for over 10 years, and his wife for 7 of those.

You knew him inside out, perhaps better than anyone else. You knew how stubborn he could be, how relentless, especially when it came to the risks he took behind the wheel.

The race had been brutal.

The heat was suffocating, visibility was near zero in certain sectors, and the pressure to deliver was immense.

You’d been watching from the edge of your seat, every moment fraught with anxiety. You were praying to anyone who could hear, hoping for a safe race. But deep down, you couldn’t shake the fear that his age was beginning to catch up with him.

Fernando wasn’t the young firecracker he once was, yet he never showed any sign of slowing down.

To the media, to the world, he was as fit and strong as ever. But with you—he was different. With you, he didn’t have to wear that mask of invulnerability.

That day in Brazil, the race had pushed him to his limits. The physical exhaustion, the mental strain, the constant, unrelenting pressure to win—it all weighed heavily on him.

You had seen him on those mornings when he woke up groaning in pain, his back stiff from the wear and tear of years of racing, and you knew it wasn’t just the way he slept. You knew the strain his body was under, but he would never admit it. Never to the world, and never to himself.

Yet, despite it all, there was something deeper driving him forward. Something that kept him pushing when every muscle in his body screamed for him to stop.

Just before the race, you two had fought. It had been a long, tense argument, your voices raised in frustration. You had begged him, pleaded with him, “Fernando, you need to slow down. The risks you’re taking, they’re too much. I don’t want to lose you.”

But he had been defensive, angry even. His pride, his need to prove he still had it, had made him dismiss your concerns. “I know what I’m doing,” he had snapped, his voice cutting through the tension. “You don’t need to worry about me.”

He had stormed off, leaving you with nothing but the echo of his words. But you knew, deep down, he wasn’t angry at you—he was angry at himself. Because even though he wouldn’t admit it, there was a fear in him now, a fear of not being able to keep up with the younger drivers. A fear of losing that edge he had worked his whole life to perfect.

But despite all of that, there was something else on his mind, something driving him forward when his body screamed for him to give in.

He'd heard it on the radio, his voice a low rasp as he pushed back against the exhaustion. "I would’ve given up by now, but I can't. I need to do this... for them. For a few people..." For you.

When the race finally ended, Fernando was barely able to stand. His body had been pushed to its absolute limit. The pain was overwhelming, and as he dragged himself out of the car, the world around him spun. His hands were trembling, his legs unsteady, and yet it wasn’t the physical exhaustion that alarmed you. It was the look in his eyes—defeat, vulnerability, a quiet acknowledgment that maybe, just maybe, you had been right.

You were there before he could take another step, rushing to his side. You didn’t need to say anything—your arms around him, the steady pressure of your embrace, spoke volumes. You could feel the weight of his body as he leaned into you, his breaths shallow, strained. His voice was barely audible when he spoke.

"I don’t know how much longer I can do this," he whispered, his words thick with exhaustion, both physical and emotional.

You didn’t hesitate. "You can," you replied softly, but firmly. "You always can. But only if you let yourself breathe sometimes, Nando."

He didn’t answer at first. His fingers clenched around your shirt, his face buried in your hair as though trying to find solace in your presence. For a moment, the roar of the crowd, the flashing lights, everything else faded away. All that mattered was you and him, the two of you in that moment, holding each other together.

You stepped back slightly to look into his eyes, the exhaustion etched deep into his features. You cupped his face gently in your hands. "You don’t have to carry it all. Not alone. Let me help you. Let me in."

He finally met your gaze, his eyes shadowed with the weight of the race, of the argument, of everything he had been bottling up. For a brief moment, you saw a flicker of regret. His voice was small, apologetic, and raw. “I was wrong, about everything. You were right. I pushed too hard today. I… I can’t keep going like this.”

A lump formed in your throat, but you swallowed it down. You could see the cracks in his armor, the vulnerability he had never let anyone see before. The fight in him wasn’t gone—it had simply shifted. Now it wasn’t about winning races or proving himself to the world, it was about finding balance, finding peace.

"You don’t have to prove anything to anyone, Fernando," you whispered, your hand gently brushing his cheek. "Not to me. Not to anyone. Just… come back to me in one piece, okay?"

He nodded, a tear slipping from his eye, and for the first time in a long while, you saw the man who had been running on empty—tired, afraid, and so desperately in need of someone to hold him.

and you would always be there to do that.

[kooksvspogues]

Happy 1st Birthday Lilian!! 🥳

Part 4 -

Authors note: Let me know if y’all are enjoying the slow burn with this story or have any suggestions! Would love some more input from y’all ❤️❤️❤️

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~~~~~ Drew’s POV ~~~~~

I know I told her I didn’t want anything more than to just be friends, but how could I not want more. The connection we had the night at the wedding was something I’ve never experienced before. She is something I’ve never experienced before. I thought I could handle being around her and keeping our deal, and I think I could’ve if Austin never showed this much interest in her. The way he talked about her when she was walking into the pool with my niece; “look at the ass on that girl, holy shit, and those boobs, jaaackpooot” he grinned putting up both his fist waiting for Chase and I to bump his, to which I just gave him a stern stare while Chase nonchalantly bumped his fist, trying to send a text.

“You know girls aren’t just a piece of ass, right?” I stared at him

“Well yeah, but it makes it so much better when they have one, ya know why I’m talking about Drew” he winks at me

“That’s my sisters friend, don’t do anything stupid” I plead

“I won’t do anything she isn’t about” Austin tapped my shoulder before getting up and joining Mack and Maddie in the pool.

I couldn’t help the pit that was forming in my stomach or the rage and adrenaline I was feeling in my entire body. I watched as she smiled up at him, but not the same way she smiles at me. She kept trying to keep her distance with him no matter what he tried, and for that, I was grateful.

Austin snatching her up before anybody could say anything to be his partner for beer pong, now that hurt. Beer pong was how we met at the wedding. She stepped up to be my partner since my buddy Paul had stepped away and she ended up being the best partner I’ve ever had in beer pong, plus, she was nice to look at too.

She had done changed out of her bridesmaid dress and into a short light yellow dress and had ditched her heels. Her curled dark brown hair was falling around her shoulders, and for some weird reason, all I could think of was the Disney princess, Belle. When I found out her name was Maddie and put it together that she was my sister’s roommate in college, I couldn’t help but me intrigued. I had heard so many stories and felt like I knew her personally but this was the first time we have been in the same area at the same time.

We won every round of beer pong we did. We laughed and flirted with each other like it was the most normal thing we’ve ever done. When we finally got done playing, we went upstairs to where the balcony was. I had untucked and unbuttoned my shirt to where it was just hanging, leaving the undershirt revealed. I sat down, leaned against the paneling,before pulling her down to sit in between my legs and lean back against my chest. Opening the bottle of champagne we snatched on the way up. That was the most comfortable I had ever been. We sat there for hours just talking about everything, what we wanted out of life, where we wanted to be in 10 years, family, kids, kid name ideas, dream vacations, just anything that come up while we just sat there playing with each others hands and passing the bottle back and fourth with the other. At one point she turned sideways and put her legs over mine while one of her hand planted itself on the wood behind us causing her to face me.

“You really are not what I expected” she admitted

“I’m gonna need you to elaborate on that, love” I teased smiling

“Just that, I have seen pictures of you, but just didn’t really expect you to be this hot in person, plus the fact that you’re insanely amazing at conversation.” She admits, her face turning a light shade of red when she makes eye contact with me

“I could say the same thing about you” I smile before leaning in closer to her, looking back and forth from her eyes to her lips. I reached up and placed my hand on the side of her neck, my thumb against her jaw just as our lips met.

“You are so beautiful” I whisper to her, feeling her smile against my lips, as she pulls her legs back to her before turning completely and straddling me, reconnecting our lips immediately.

The kiss was so deep, tender, gentle, rough, everything you could ever want in a kiss. What felt like would never end got cut short the moment I started kissing down her neck. She tapped my chest making me pull back and look up at her.

“We shouldn’t be doing this, your Mack’s brother” she says starting to stand up

“Maddie..” I say grabbing her hand

“No, let’s just pretend it didn’t happen, okay? For Mack?” She begs and I just nod slightly, watching as she takes a deep breath before running back downstairs.

Now I’ve had to watch Austin’s hand on the small of her back, lifting her up, her almost naked body against his, his hand so close to her ass and his face so close to her chest, then for him to have the audacity to place his hand on her leg right next to me.

I couldn’t do it, I can’t watch this, I can’t let her get away this time. I just need to make sure she still feels something on her end towards me before I do anything else. Which is why my feet quickly sped upstairs to her once Mack came back outside, telling everyone I had to run to the bathroom.

But, yet again, she ran away. But she also didn’t deny still feeling anything. Just gonna take some time to break through that wall, and I’m willing to do whatever I got to do.

~~~~~ Maddie’s POV ~~~~~

I walk into the downstairs bathroom, closing and locking the door quietly. Fanning my eyes, trying to keep myself from crying, but I fail quickly at that, feeling a tear fall from both eyes. I place my hands on the counter and look at myself in the mirror.

“I got this, it’s just a week of being around him, I can make that, I’m here for Lilian and Mack, that’s it” I whisper to myself before looking down at the floor shaking my head. I wipe the few tears away, open the door, and head back outside when I see Drew coming down the stairs.

“Maddie” he says

“Drew” I say opening the back door slightly

“Wait” he says just as I open the door completely and walk out “or not” I hear him mumble before walking out behind me, keeping the door cracked just incase Lilian wakes up.

Everyone else was back in the pool so I went to the edge and just sat down putting my feet in the water. A few minutes later, Drew walks over with two bottles of beer, offering one to me.

“Truce?” He asks as I look up at him

“…truce” I say grabbing the bottle as he goes to sit down next to me.

“I’m sorry” he whispers as we watch the rest of the groups playing beer pong

“It’s okay, I get it, that night was great, neither one of us can deny that, but me and you in any way, just can’t happen” I whisper to him

“Can I ask why?” He asks looking over at me with curious eyes

“Me and Mack made a promise, both of us have brothers, we knew at some point we’d meet them, and we promised that family, especially brothers were off limits cause we never wanted to jeopardize our friendship in any way” I explain quietly as he nods biting his lip, looking down at her hands right next to each other.

“I get that.. but is that real—“ He starts but I cut him off when I see Austin swimming over to us grabbing my legs, rubbing his thumb against them

“Hey gorgeous” he smiles up at me as I smile down at him slightly, “want to come be my partner again?” He asks me

“Nah, I’m good right here, I’ve done dried off” I say

“Oh okay, well if you change your mind, I’ll be waiting for you” he winked before getting called back over for his turn.

“Is that really gonna be a thing?” Drew asks looking over at me

“I don’t know… he’s sweet.. we’ll see” I confess

“Please don’t jump into something with him” he pleads

“I’ll be okay” I smile over at him

“I know, but still..” he says locking eyes with me as we just stare at each other.

“Why aren’t you looking away?” He asks me smirking

“Oh shut up” I say smiling, pushing him away making him laugh

“You can’t do that” he says in a warning tone

“Do what?” I ask furrowing my eyebrows

“Look at me like that” he states

“Like what?” I curiously ask

“Like you want me to just lean over and kiss you like we did their wedding night, like we’re the only two people that are here” he quietly explains keeping his eyes locked with mine

“Are you ever gonna give that up?” I tease him knocking my shoulder into his

“Not a chance sweetheart” he winks at me making me shake my head.

“You’re a headache” I laugh

“Just a man trying to be your headache, my bad” he throws his arms up laughing making me roll my eyes playfully

I catch Mack and Garrett in the corner of my eye looking over at us before whispering something to each other. I clear my throat and jerk the huge smile off my face looking over at the group of boys playing beer pong.

Me and Mack lock eyes and she has her arms crossed, an eyebrow raised, with a slight smirk on her face. I raise my eyebrows at her in curiosity and she just shakes her head, still smirking before looking away from me.

Great…

Chase and Austin end up leaving not too long after they got done with playing beer pong. Of course, Austin couldn’t leave without planting a kiss on my cheek. Which made me feel more weird than anything.

“Mack, can I stay here, I’m too drunk to drive home” Logan says a lot louder then needed as he wrapped his around around me planting his chin on the top of my head

“Yeah, that’s fine, Drew you staying here too?” Mack’s asked

“Yeah, might as well” he says

“Okay, y’all can take the other guest bedroom till mom gets here if you want or one can stay on the couch and the other in the bed, y’all choose.” Mack tells them, “you know where everything is, me and Garrett are going to bed” she said giving all of us a hug, “do you need anything before I go to bed?” She asks me when we she pulls away

“Oh no, I’m good, thank you though” I smile at her as she gives me a look that I can’t decipher before walking upstairs.

“Mads, can I just sleep with you, I want cuddles” Logan begs

“Why don’t you go cuddle with your brother” I tease

“That’s weird” he said making me and Drew laugh

“Here, let’s get you to bed” Drew says taking Logan’s arms off me before walking him to the guest room. I go to the fridge and grab a bottle of water before heading for the stairs.

“Hey, goodnight” Drew says at the door. I turn to face him, giving him a smile

“Goodnight Starkey” I say before going up the stairs and into my room.

I decide to go ahead and get a quick shower, wash off all of the stress from today. When I get out, I throw on a big shirt and crawl into bed. Leaning over to turn the lamp off is when I notice a note sitting on the nightstand. I grab it off the table to read it,

Maddie,

I know you say that we can’t happen and all I know as of right now is because of Mack. But, at any point you’re ready to give it a shot, I’ll be waiting, cause I’m not giving up on you. There’s nothing in me that will allow me to. Just give in to what we both know you’re feeling.

Text me - ###-###-####,

Drew

I can’t help but smile but also know deep down I can’t give in completely. Not yet. But I do decide to go ahead and add his number to my contacts, deciding to go ahead and text him so he has my number too, just incase something ever happens and he needs it.

“Goodnight again Starkey” I text him and roll over to get comfortable.

“Goodnight beautiful, glad to finally have your number” he texts me back.

I shake my head, deciding to leave it at that for right now, closing my eyes and letting the alcohol take over and hopefully giving me a good nights rest.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tag list: @percysley @dilfs-4life

[hannahwatchesbigbrother]

I truly feel like this season’s edited episodes have been such a slap in the face to their live feeders and super fans. I truly don’t understand what they think they’re hiding when we can literally see everything 24/7??

[officialhouseguest]

i’m sorry to be breaking this news to all of you like this.

like i would love to tell you guys it’s not always like this but that would be a lie. most of the events described above happened in ONE NIGHT. they have like 70 days left before they get let out of there. last night there was drama because everyone noticed the box of condoms was missing from the storage room and the camera man (we call him skippy) just zoomed in on the two people who were hooking up looking at each other like 😧

so anyway then there’s this girl named izzy—

imagine trying to explain what’s happening on big brother rn to someone who doesn’t watch. like…

“ok so they have someone from survivor in the cast with her son but it’s a secret that he’s her son. the son has a girlfriend of supposedly seven years irl. BUT he decides he wants to hook up with another member of the cast. he tells her he only recently started viewing women as people. it works?? they hook up, on camera, on a couch in a common area. he cleans up after himself with bleach wipes that stain the couch. MEANWHILE he has revealed his big secret — that his mother is in the house — to this girl. she does not give a shit. she also thinks he’s talking about A DIFFERENT WOMAN in the cast, not the one from survivor. he goes along with it??? MEANWHILE there is a rumor going around the house that the woman she incorrectly assumed was his mother is DENZEL WASHINGTON’S SISTER. and the fake last name that the son of the survivor contestant gave when they introduced themselves to each other…. is WASHINGTON. so anyway then there’s this girl named Izzy—”

LIKE

[miss-oranje-disco-dancer]

the cool mom's countdown

pairing: pre-re2!leon s kennedy/milf!reader

content: age gap, older woman/younger man, edging, sub!leon, excessive use of the word 'ma'am' (by leon)

word count: 2.6k

summary: your son's friend, leon, comes over for nye and you play a 'game' (edging) during the countdown to midnight

a/n: should've posted this on new years, but i didn't really intend on posting it at all

You’re the neighborhood ‘cool mom’ - moms hate you, their daughters envy you, dads try not to stare for too long, and their sons, they love you. Your son’s friends have been flirting with you since they were middle schoolers, and their actions only intensified once they learned the word ‘milf’. They'd probably watched every video on pornhub with the word in the title based on the way they stared at you. Almost creaming their jeans, drooling like babies, it was pitiful. 

You became an empty nester young, young enough that you still had the body of a Victoria's Secret model. When your son came home after his first semester of college for winter break, his high school buddies came around almost daily. You were the cool mom, so you let them drink and smoke a little bit, you’d rather have it under your roof where you could control it. 

Your favorite young man came over on New Year’s Eve for a little get together your son planned. You tried to stay out of the boys’ way for the majority of the night, only coming down from your room to offer snacks and drinks. Later in the night, your son asked if they could go out for a bit – another kid from school was having a party. You said, yes, of course, and off they went. You assumed you were alone, so naturally, you walked downstairs in your nightgown, not expecting to see a handsome young man in your living room. 

“Leon?” you said. 

“Sorry, ma’am, I-I wasn’t sure if I should leave or not, and I can just - I’ll get going now,” he said. 

“You’re welcome to stay, honey, you know that.” You flashed him a smile. 

“I don’t want to- to keep you up.”

“It’s only 10:30, Leon. How old do you think I am?” you said, playing coy. 

He blushed, “I-I didn’t mean that I think you’re old, um, you’re not, or - or you’re very pretty, so it doesn’t matter.”

“Honey, I was just playing with you. No need to get nervous around me.” You placed your hand on his shoulder, and surprise washed over his face, but his muscles relaxed. 

“Why didn’t you want to go with the other boys?”

“They, uh, well I was worried that they might be drinking alcohol or smoking,” he said, reluctant to meet your eyes.

“I forgot - you’re in the police academy now, huh?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“All grown up now, but you’re still a good boy.”

His ears flushed pink and he began to fidget in his seat, hearing the words good boy. 

“Thank you, ma’am.”

“How ‘bout I turn on the New Year’s broadcast?”

“That sounds good.”

You sat down beside Leon, grabbing a blanket from the other side of the couch to cover yourself a bit, not wanting to show too much skin yet, especially when he looked so nervous already. 

“Do you want anything to drink or eat, hun?”

“No thank you, ma’am.”

You watched out of the corner of your eye as Leon tried to be subtle when he snuck glances at you. You noted them, but decided not to comment, knowing he’d die from embarrassment if he knew you’d caught him.

Eventually, you decided to strike up a conversation, getting tired of watching TV. 

“So, how are things going with you?” you asked.

“Pretty good. The academy is good. I like it.”

“That’s nice. Got any friends there? A girlfriend?” You made sure he heard the last question. 

“I’ve made a few friends, but I’m still working on fitting in with the guys… and no girlfriend.”

“No one’s snatched you up yet? Such a handsome young man.”

“Th-thank you, ma’am.”

“Always my pleasure, Leon.”

You pretended not to notice the way Leon shifted in his seat. You’d always paid attention to the way his jeans fit - tight enough to show off his pert ass, but still loose enough that there wasn’t an ever-present bulge on display. The fact that you could see a tent in his pants forming meant he was unmistakably aroused. Poor baby, you thought, too much friction to get it to go down, but not enough to get off. 

“Have you ever had a New Year’s kiss?” Leon asked all of a sudden. 

“Yes, I have. Why do you ask?” You tried to downplay your interest.

“They were just talking about something related to kissing at midnight… I’ve already forgotten what exactly it was…” He gestured to the C-list celebrities on TV who were droning on and on about the ball that was about to drop in Times Square.

“Sorry, I wasn’t paying much attention. Got lost in my thoughts back there,” you said.

“S’okay. It wasn’t that interesting.”

“It’s the same old thing every year, isn’t it? Well, I guess when I was your age it was more fun. Going to parties and such, you know how it is. You are more well-behaved than I was at your age. Unfortunately, it means that you’ve ended up at a boring old lady’s house on New Years.” 

You laughed off the last part, but you were only half-joking. You did feel like a boring old lady sometimes. 

“You’re not boring,” he said, vehement in his assertion, “or old.”

So as not to allow yourself to get flustered, you changed the subject, “I didn’t get a chance to ask you, have you ever had a New Year’s kiss?”

You assumed his answer would be 'yes'.

“No,” he started, thinking hard about the question, “well, maybe when I was a lot younger, but I don’t think it counts when you’re both in elementary school. I’d like to think that someday it’ll happen again.”

You turned to him, eyes alight with mischief. Of course this was morally dubious, but it wasn’t illegal. You could surely be doing worse, right? At least you were keeping him from drugs and alcohol.

When you looked into Leon’s eyes, they were glossy, drunk on lust.

“Do you want-” you began, but were cut off by Leon’s lips against yours. 

He was quick, but not forceful. His lips were pillowy soft, so easy to mold yours to them. 

“Sorry,” he pulled back, “I got carried away.”

He looked away, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand.

“It’s okay,” you said, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder, coaxing his gaze back towards yours. 

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, it was sweet.”

“Does that mean you want to do it again?”

The hope in his eyes was so pure, it made you want to melt. 

“If that’s what you’d like, then, yes.”

His bashfulness made you giddy, too. 

“Yes, ma’am.”

You cupped his chin and brought him closer, so that his mouth could meet yours again. Your tongue met his, tentatively gliding over the tip of it, and he reciprocated the gesture. The kiss gained fervor as he became eager for more. You scooted closer to him until your knees were touching. 

“It’s not even midnight yet,” you joked, breathing the words into his mouth. 

“It is somewhere in the world,” he said, with an adorable grin that had you smiling like a little girl. 

You intended to reach for his thigh, but landed a bit further up. Feeling his hard-on, you pulled your hand back, slowly, so as not to embarrass him. 

“Sorry, ma’am, I didn’t mean to. It does that on its own.”

You laughed. “It’s okay. I know how those things work.”

“Oh o-of course, you do. I forgot…”

“Forgot what? That I have a kid? Which means I’ve done much more than kissing.”

“Yeah. You probably have a lot more experience than me.”

“Maybe, but I’m older than you, so that’s natural.”

“Well, most guys my age have had… you know, sex, before, and, uh, I haven’t really done that much, yet.”

“It’s not a big deal to be a virgin. I think it was probably not my wisest decision to have sex in high school and get pregnant. Of course, I love my son, though.” 

Your son was the one to thank for Leon ending up in your living room, so really, you couldn’t be mad that he’d cockblocked you more times than you could count, just by virtue of his existence. Turns out, most men your age who don’t already have kids, don’t want ‘em. Guess robbing the cradle really is your only choice. 

“Yeah, yeah, definitely don’t want to get pregnant - not that I would get pregnant, but I don’t want to get anyone else pregnant, I mean.”

You laughed lightly. “I’m glad you know how it works, at least.”

“Sort of, yeah, the general stuff. We learned it all in health class, so…”

“Have you ever done anything? Besides sex, I mean. You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, of course.”

“Just kissing.”

“Please tell me I wasn’t your first kiss.”

“No, no.” This time he was the one laughing. “I’ve made out with girls before.”

“Just making out, though?”

“Yeah. Well, one girl let me see her boobs… and touch them.”

“What is that considered these days? Second base?”

“Not sure.”

“Have you ever wanted to do more?”

“Yeah, oh yeah, definitely, but I always get nervous.”

“You shouldn’t be nervous, but you should wait until you’re ready.”

“I’m definitely ready.” he said, looking down towards his obvious erection. 

“Yeah,” you held back a laugh, “I noticed.”

“It’s kind of embarrassing.”

“It shouldn’t be. I’m flattered, really. I’m not as young and pretty as I used to be.”

“You’re really pretty. Really, really beautiful. And I think everyone thinks that.”

“You’re very cute. I’m sure not everyone thinks that, but thank you.”

You noticed he was fidgeting, debating probably. 

“I should probably go,” he said.

“Have somewhere else to be?” you asked.

“No, well, I just, I mean, I have something to take care of," he stumbled over his words as he put his hands in his pockets, pretending as if you hadn't already acknowledged the obvious.

“Leon, are we talking about what I think we’re talking about?” You asked with an eyebrow raised. The signature, knowing look that all mothers have.

“It’s possible," he shrugged, trying to play it cool, though his breath was quickening.

“Do you want some help taking care of that?”

“Really?” his head perked up, surprised, delighted.

“Yes, really.”

“Oh, thank you, ma’am. That would be- I’d really like that.”

He was so precious you could cry. 

“Sit back for me, then,” you whispered. 

He relaxed into the couch as best he could, but it was obvious that he was tense. You couldn’t blame him. All you could do was help him. 

“Is this okay?” you asked, when your hands reached his zipper.

He nodded repeatedly, gulping back excitement. 

You made quick work of his jeans and his boxers with his eager assistance. Taking in the view, you thought, pretty cock for a pretty boy. It made sense, really. You almost pitied all the girls his age who’d missed out on the chance to see it before you got your hands on him. When you spit directly onto his dick - for lubrication, not degradation (you’d never do that to a poor virgin like Leon) - he gazed at you, slack-jawed and hands twitching, unsure of where to place them. It only took a few pumps of your hand down his length to make him whimper. 

You stopped - much to his dismay - and looked at the clock. It was getting pretty close to midnight. The two of you had already shared your New Year’s kiss - the novelty had already been savored, so you needed something else, a new game to play.

“Leon?” you asked.

“Yes, ma’am?”

“Do you want to play a little game with me?”

“Sure. What kind of game?”

“How about this,” you started, running your hands up his thighs, beginning your teasing routine, “I start touching you again, and then when you think you’re really close to cumming, you tell me and I’ll stop… and then start again.”

It sounded as torturous for him as it would be, but you flashed him a sweet smile, one that promised you’d take good care of him. 

“You mean like edging?”

Well, when you put it like that, yeah, Leon. He must not be as innocent as you'd assumed.

“Yes.”

“But do I get to cum at all, like ever?”

He was already giving you a pouty face, fearing the worst. 

“Yes, at midnight.”

Leon looked at the clock, preparing himself for the amount of teasing he’d have to endure.

“All right,” he agreed to your proposal. 

“Good boy,” you said, not intending much by it, but it was well-received by Leon - the sharp intake of breath was so distinct. 

Your hand made its way back to his dick, beginning with languid strokes. He was quick to stop you after what felt like only a few seconds. It could've been a minute, maybe, but no one was counting yet.

“‘M getting close,” he mumbled, grabbing your wrist.

“Really close?” you asked, not wanting to stop pre-emptively.

“Yeah,” he said, looking away in an attempt to hide his embarrassment, but you could see the redness rising to his ears. 

“Are you always this sensitive?” you asked, a little bit self-indulgent, but genuine, still. Not too teasing.

“No,” he said quietly.

“Is it me?” 

“I think so.”

You considered kissing him to keep him entertained, but you’d forgotten what it was like to be with such a young man. All the men in their 40s needed help keeping their dicks hard, you couldn’t play like this or they’d go soft.

You gave him a minute to relax before you went back to touching him. The cycle continued until the countdown. You watched the TV flash the numbers counting down the final minute. 60, 59, 58…

“Think you can make it?” you asked, your faith in him was quickly waning as he was clearly on edge.

49, 48, 47…

“I hope so,” he said through shaky breaths.

39, 38, 37…

“Do I have to stop?” you took your hand away briefly.

“N-no, no, no.” His tone wasn’t terribly reassuring, voice cracking when he spoke. 

29, 28, 27…

You slowed down but didn’t stop fully. He looked like he wanted to say something, but couldn’t get it out. 

19, 18, 17…

Labored breaths turned into moans, so focused on not cumming early that he couldn’t find the space in his thoughts to hold any shame.

“You’re doing so well, honey,” you cooed.

9, 8, 7…

“Thank you,” he said - or at least, tried to, though his lower lip trembled, making it difficult. 

You looked up into his teary eyes. 

6, 5, 4…

He leaned his head back, like his muscles were giving out, all the blood having rushed between his legs. His eyes were closed, but his lips were parted to let out a stream of ‘ah’s’ and ‘oh’s’. 

3, 2, 1…

With a strangled sob, thick ropes of white ran down your hand. You leaned in to kiss him just like all the people in Times Square. You felt the pulsing sensation continue, almost more intense when your lips met his. His lips were pliant, as was his whole body after the release of tension. 

“Happy New Year,” you said as you pulled back.

For a moment, all you received in response was his heavy breathing - if it weren’t for that, with the way he was splayed out before you, his body completely limp, you’d think he was dead.

“I’m not sure whether to say ‘thank you’ or ‘I’m sorry for making a mess,” Leon said finally, still looking blissed-out. 

You laughed. “Neither. The correct response is ‘Happy New Year’.”

“Oh,” he said, as if he’d lost all sense of time and space, “Happy New Year”. 

[goldsainz]

OVER THE YEARS — one shot.

pairing: oscar piastri x reader

MASTERLIST.

request: “omg hi i have a request for oscar piastri a social media au something showing their friendship over the years maybe through b'day posts/something else (you decide) basically like childhood friend to lovers social media au pls !”

NOTE: first oscar piece ever!! the format of this is a bit diff but that’s just bc it’s kind of only insta… thank you sm for requesting, i hope that this is what you wanted and enjoy! (this has no faceclaim btw)

APRIL 06, 2019

liked by oscarpiastri, nicolepiastri and 2,687 others

yourusername HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BEST FRIEND WHO JUST TURNED 18!!!! cannot believe i’ve known you for 12 of those years…

view all 40 comments

oscarpiastri Was the last picture really necessary…

⤷ yourusername yes, yes it was 😁

oscarpiastri I was a pretty cute kid actually

liked by yourusername

APRIL 06, 2020

liked by arthur_leclerc, oscarpiastri and 3,185 others

yourusername 19 years old and he’s still acting like he’s 10!! oh also, happy birthday 🥳

view all 56 comments

oscarpiastri Was the happy birthday an afterthought or…?

⤷ yourusername was i really that obvious?

⤷ oscarpiastri I see how it is then🙄

arthur_leclerc I’m gonna need more of these pictures

⤷ yourusername your wish is my command

⤷ oscarpiastri Y/N NO

APRIL 06, 2021

liked by oscarpiastri, logansargeant and 6,279 others

yourusername selfie time for the birthday boy! 20 has looked better on others, but you’ll get there ❤️

view all 94 comments

oscarpiastri Wow!

oscarpiastri I send you these pics in confidence and they end up on Instagram… Can’t trust anybody😔

⤷ yourusername not really private if they’re in a group chat🤷‍♀️

⤷ oscarpiastri Watch your back for your next birthday post… You never the content I might get

arthur_leclerc You two look really cozy in that second picture!!

⤷ yourusername shut up, frenchie

APRIL 06, 2022

liked by carla.brocker, oscarpiastri and 10,836 others

yourusername happy birthday to this guy 🫶

view all 162 comments

oscarpiastri 🫶🫶🫶

liked by yourusername and 10 others

oscarpiastri Will I ever get some decent photos in these posts?

⤷ yourusername hm… no!

oscarfan1 who is she??

⤷ oscarfan2 she’s oscar’s childhood best friend i think

⤷ oscarfan3 i thought she was his gf, cause she’s always in the paddock with him

⤷ oscarfan2 nope, just friends from what i know

APRIL 06, 2023

liked by landonorris, zhouguanyu24 and 34,091 others

yourusername happy birthday to my boy friend (my best friend who’s a boy but also my actual boyfriend)!!! you’ve done so much in all these years, you’re even in F1 now, and i’m happy to have been through it all 🤍 i included some good pics but just because the fans need them 😁

view all 512 comments

oscarpiastri Aww… Is the beautiful girl single?

⤷ yourusername no… but you’re pretty cute so call me :)

⤷ oscarpiastri 🙃🙃🙃

oscarpiastri21 how i love them

oscarfan22 THE MCLAREN GLOW UP OMG

landonorris There are children on this app…

⤷ yourusername WE’RE YOUNGER THAN YOU???

⤷ landonorris And yet I have more decorum🙄

oscarpiastri23 they’re so cuteee

JULY 09, 2023

liked by oscarpiastri, yukitsunoda and 51,684 others

yourusername P4! there is so much i could say, but all that matters is that i am incredibly proud of all that you achieved and will achieve

view all 775 comments

landonorris If I speak…

⤷ yourusername don’t❤️

oscarfan31 the most unproblematic and cutest couple on the grid

oscarpiastri I love you 🫶

⤷ yourusername I love you 🫶🫶

⤷ oscarpiastri I love you 🫶🫶🫶

oscarfan32 I LOVE THEM SM

oscarfan33 y/n pls know that we love you

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - Getting hot under the collar and in the kitchen and on the pool table and...

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Aug 2024 Week 3

Ongoing Series - Thai

Monster Next Door (Thai Thurs Gaga ) eps 3-4 of 12 - one of the things I'm enjoying about this show is the fact that the introverted super shy uke is having hot fantasies, and the extroverted seme is having the sweet fantasies. It's another way this show is highlighting God being the world's greenest flagged seme BL has ever produced. (And he's being given stiff competition this year - trend alert.)

Anygay: God is so cute and so not cool and so in love and all the consent asking word salad coming out of this boy. I LOVE him. 

Diew: It’s ep 4 so I’ve decided we can talk face-to-face.  God: So how many children do you want? 

The teaching him to play basketball bit, where God politely asks to hold his hand, is so freaking adorable I can’t.

I'm thinking of calling this show the anti-Mame pill.

Blue pill? Red pill? GREEN pill!

My Love Mix-Up Th (Fri YT) ep 11 of 12 - We gotta talk. I do like this version, but it’s starting to feel lackluster. Perhaps it always was by comparison to the bright sparkle uniqueness of the original. Perhaps I didn't notice because I was distracted by G4. But now I gotta say it's become a bit disappointing and even my love for G4 can’t seem to bind me to this. Frankly, this show is making me want to watch either the Japanese version, or My School President. It’s never a good sign when a currently airing BL makes me want to stop that and go rewatch an old one I’ve already seen.

NO SINGING.

Meanwhile, the "locked on the rooftop" trope! I haven’t seen that one in years. Cool. Also cute kisses. They learning. 

This Love Doesn't Have Long Beans (Fri iQIYI) ep 7 of 8 - I can’t believe this is ending next week. But also I can. And I have thoughts.

I really love SailubPon. They might be one of my favorite newer pairs on the scene right now. But I just don’t believe in these characters or this couple. I don’t feel like they are going to have a lasting relationship. It feels like they’re just using each other for sex and distraction, and that’s how the script to set it up, and as a result they’re never gonna make it as a couple. As soon as the sexual fire between them burns out, what do they have to build a relationship on? Frankly? That would be fine if this were a modern love drama, and not a BL. But this IS a BL.

Putting the health code violators aside, I really do believe in the secondary pair, but they haven’t been given enough bandwidth to develop as a couple. There’s no way they’re going to adequately resolve Methas and JJ in the final episode.

At this juncture, I’m mostly finding this show annoying. Which in itself is annoying, because I wanted to love it.

Why is it that Thailand, the land of the best food in the world, king of BLs, struggles so hard to produce the restaurant set BL of my dreams? I’m really pissed about this.

That said, the Methas & JJ stuff is killer. Loved JJ running away. So good. Plus the age old decision - love or money? 

Battle of the Writers (Sun YT) ep 2-3 of 12 - The issue was me and I've managed to get hold of this show again. The story within the story is so ridiculously badly written I'm going spare. I’m not sure if the outside show is not ALSO badly written. That said, I do love how the 3 writer friends are all shipping our leads. It’s VERY silly. Meanwhile, cohabitation trope is a go. 

I like the side couple too. Stern Daddy + lost puppy is a very cute dynamic, I hope we get more than just crumbs. I actually am enjoying this show now. Ep 3 kinda derailed into this weird chimera novel that they’re all writing together and I’m finding that bit the least interesting, but I adore the domestic components which I think may turn out to be TutorYim's strength (if they're allowed to lean into it). 

Addicted Heroin (Thai Tues WeTV) ep 1 of 10 - Man I hope this gets some kind of distribution at some point. It was a pain to find and watch. But I enjoyed it. The focus is more on the seme in Thailand’s version. Which I don’t mind since that's rare in BL, and it’s more August on my screen. It’s all round softer than China’s version but still feels very familiar. I know some fans are struggling with it, but not me.

Sunset X Vibes (Sat iQIYI) ep 10 of 12 - I like that Sam’s crafty business espionage has paid off. Them teasing Sam & Yo really had me belly laughing. It was so funny.

Legitimate question. Would one put perfume on one’s cheeks in Thailand, as one does on wrist or sternum? Because of the sniff cheek thing? Scented face powders?

I do feel like with MosBank & SailubPon scorching up our screens, we’re being spoiled by some of Thailand‘s best high heat pairs at the moment.

I Saw You in My Dream (Weds Gaga) ep 5 of 12 - It remains kind of sweet and cute. It's also calm and slow moving. Oddly it reminds me of La Cuisine in its style and execution (if not content). I’m enjoying it more than I thought I would.

The Trainee (Sun YouTube) ep 7 of 12 - I don’t know. I’m getting bored.

Love Sea (Sun iQIYI) ep 10fin - Fort’s acting during the break-up was truly great. But I feel for Rak. It’s rough to learn that someone else is playing a long game with feelings while you were playing a short game with d**k.

Ultimately this is probably a solid 8/10 show but I’m mad I wasn’t madder at it, and I'm mad I was so bored throughout. So it gets a 7/10 and let us not speak of this again. I’d like to simply forget about it. Trash watch.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Sugar Dog Life (Japan Sun grey) ep 1-2 of 10 - OMG a uni student who looks young and a... COP! GAH. The subversion and kink of it all. I had to go grey to get it and I hate everything about what I had to do. But ya know what? Fucking worth every single repeated crash-causing advertisement.

I love it. The grumpy lonely little student cook and the cheerful mature police officer. What a fabulous dynamic. Is the cook looking for a boyfriend or a Daddy, and do we care if it has the same result? It is filmed VERY manga style camp. I’m a little nervous about that, but this means it’s also very fluffy and so damn sweet. It made me squeak with the cute. I’m gutted this didn’t get distribution.

Ironic that Tawada Hideya is in a new BL while Sunspot is re-airing.

Cosmetic Playlover (Japan Tues Gaga) eps 3-4 of 8 - Ah, the gays are doubting the bisexual again. How familiar. I like how this one is paced and moving through time, even if the relationship seems to be going comparatively slowly by contrast. I love the way Sahashi is always looking at Natsume, even when they’re in conversation with someone else. Ah yearning. I think the conflict was kind of inevitable, given the two personalities of the protagonists, and I like that. (No manufactured angst here.) But I still hope they can repair the breach and I’m still interested. Frankly this is so classically Japan - I don’t know what story beats it’s following and I’m not entirely sure where it’s going, but I kinda like that unpredictability. Makes me think it could go into "must you, Japan?" territory but fingers crossed.

I Hear the Sunspot AKA Hidamari ga Kikoeru (Japan Weds Gaga) ep 9 of 10 - I'm enjoying it very much. I could do without the girl character. I know she’s more interesting than most (this is Japan after all), but she’s not really for me. It’s the complexity of the connection between the leads (and why they like each other) that’s being executed so brilliantly in this show (and in the manga, FYI). Both actors are so on point with their roles and the nuanced emotions required of these characters that every time it’s only them interacting I'm riveted. I could do without the rest of the cast tho.

Seoul Blues (Korea Fri? YouTube) ep 1 of 8 - I have a confession to make, I’ve been watching this whole series as it goes along. But this is the pair I absolutely like the most. I’m not sure I would necessarily recommend any of the installments, and I’m not sure how this one is going to go, but I’m VERY invested in this particular couple. They are so pretty!!!! This is a true friends-to-lovers struggle. I like that a lot. (Reminds me of I Cannot Reach You but a different dynamic.) Did I mention how pretty they are? And we already know they gonna kiss well. I bet the uncut version is stellar.

Meet You at the Blossom (China) - It's no one's funeral, turns out! Reports are in - not only are there kisses but it ends happily with wedding plans. So I'm eating crow, binging the fucker, and live blogging. I'm enjoying it. Ya'll know I adored Chinese BL before censorship. It has a certain unhinged quality I very much apreciate (and is the reason I'm so tolerant of the Thai pulps) that I think will marry well with Wuxia's effervescent and ever-present tropes. Watch me suffer here.

First Note Of Love (Taiwan Mon Gaga) eps 1-2 of 12 - About a singer with stage fright and his timid fan starring Charles (H4 the puppy one) and Michael Chang (the youngster in My Tooth Your Love), plus side couple featuring a Thai actor Jame (Koh in Gen Y) and Liu Min Ting (of Guardian fame). What a damn team. With their powers combined they are...

fine.

This is a fine BL. The fight scene was fun and I like the meet cute. I’m not sure about the chemistry of the leads, but I think they’ll probably do okay. I admit I’m struggling a bit with a singing and the music. Are you surprised? I think I like it enough, but I’m not wowed.

Takara's Treasure AKA Takara No Vidro (Japan Mon Gaga) ep 7 of 10 - Oh! Out of the blue attack kiss. What IS this show? I don’t get it at all. Bah. I guess they’re dating now. It’s… so odd...

It's airing but...

4 Minutes (Thai Netflix/Grey) - A rich boy at uni suddenly gains the supernatural power to see four minutes into the future. I have a source, but I've decided to hold off and binge if it ends okay, since it's only 8 eps. I depend upon y'all to tell me if it's safe.

8/16 The Last Time (Thai Fri YT) ? eps - Convoluted story of loss and possible reincarnation or something. Again delayed? Not sure what's going on with this one but the continued push-backs do not bode well.

In case you missed it

The Time of Fever AKA Unintentional Love Story 2 (Korea movie) trailer IS COMING IN SEPTEMBER!!!! (Yeah this is gonna sit here until then).

Next Week Looks Like This:

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

Still Coming This Month!

8/22 The On1y One (Taiwan Thurs Gaga) 12 eps - announced in 2023 this one has a high school set stepbrothers trope and is reputed to be high heat. From Taiwan! It's made for me. Based on a novel Mou Mou from the Your Name Engraved Herein folks, so it could go dark. Still, I'm very excited.

8/22 The Paradise of Thorns (Thai movie) theater release - Jeff Satur is back but this does not look like a BL (the gay lover's death is the inciting event). More in Goodbye Mother vein. Looks dark and dramatic. He opposite and extremely well known actor Toey Pongsakorn who has never done gay before.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

WHY IS HE SO FINE?

I truly belly laughed. Sam & Yo did not go in the direction I expected, but this scene alone made me not mind that they curtailed the suffering Sam was rightfully due. (SunsetXVibes)

Tall boyfriend armpit, anyone? (Monster Next Door)

The two extremes of BL in one show (Long Beans indeed).

(Last week)

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are a pain.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

Sigh, Tumblr in its infinite wisdom doesn't like too many tags.

[yourlittlettoy]

FIRST “NEST” HIGHLIGHTS ✨

Just for the sake of using this blog like an actual blogging space 💁🏻‍♀️✨ let me tell you about how my first NEST went!!

For those of you that aren’t familiar, NEST is one of the biggest fetish gatherings in North America for us t-word enthusiasts! I’ve known about it since forever ago, and this may it was my first time actually attending. It was: everything I’d hoped it would be (˘▽˘ʃƪ)・ﾟ✧♡ here are some highlights!

This gathering was probably one of the biggest I’ve ever been to in terms of the amount of friends I saw alone! There were pals from our Tumblr community, friends from Japan, everyone from my gathering friend groups, and lots of friends from my local community as well. It was really heaven to just be with all of my favourite people all at once and in one place (˘▽˘ʃƪ)・ﾟ✧♡

The events were REALLY COOL! Definitely a gathering with one of the most comprehensive schedules I’ve ever experienced! I participated in as much as I could, but notably the squid games, auctions, and t-word-theatre (which is a big public t-word show where someone get’s got in front of an audience in a very theatrical way!) was super cool! Having said that…

I GOT KIDNAPPED!! Well, “napped” 😅 don’t worry, no real felonies here hahaha. When I applied to be ‘napped like back in the beginning of the year, I didn’t hear anything back at all about the process of how that was going. Knowing not every applicant ends up getting chosen, I didn’t let myself keep my hopes up. Long story short.. after I excitedly went to the t-word theatre event all pumped to watch someone get got… to my great surprise, that person was gonna be me lmao ‼️😱 I was kinda *taken* from my seat and tied to a chair in front of everyone, then a game show-dating show scenario played out with 3 bachelors behind a curtain answering questions (really funny and witty answers, might I add) that the show host threw their way 😆. Of course, then the host eventually asks the question “our bachelorette loves to laugh, how would you make her laugh?” … and basically I watched as all of them came through the curtain to come get me 😱 one by one…. And then !!! OF COURSE ALL THREE HAD TO COME AT ONCE 😱💀😵!!! And I couldn’t take it right so I was yelling “help meeee” hahaha ya know cause pooOOooOoOor meeeee 🤪😇. And the host was like… “sure I’ll help them” AND JOINED IN ON THE LERS SIDE 💀💀💀! ANYWAYYYY despite how extremely evil that was 😜🥺, it was 10/10 one of the coolest experiences of my life, I got an “I got napped” certificate AND it made me really happy when people approached me later saying they liked my scene (˘▽˘ʃƪ)・ﾟ✧♡ THANK U NEST FOR CHOOSING MEEEE! 🩷

This was the first gathering I been to with a partner and he was beyond lovely and supportive and we didn’t struggle with feeling any kind of restrictions due to each other .. and this means a lot because I intend on going to gatherings for as long as I can and the fact that that won’t interfere with my love life is truly a dream come true for me :)

Oh, and I experienced getting t-worded by one of my most sadistic gal pals in a fully nylon body suit and 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 I think my soul left my body that day lmaoooo RIP ME

Those are the highlights!!! This post really is a summary but happy to share more details if there are any questions 😁 thank you for reading and for following along this lil journey with me <3 I adore and appreciate all of you here with me right now! We’ve come a long way 🥰 maybe see some of you next year!!! 👀😙 that would be amazing!

[astroamorsworld]

Astrology Observations #26

If you guys would like to show your support, you can buy me a coffee here :)

I’m starting to compile a list of reviews for readings on my masterlist so check it out if you’d like😊

If you guys would like a reading, feel free to DM me or fill out my Google form here

Take what resonates, leave what doesn’t. Enjoy!

Please do not copy my work.

🍿Someone I know has a Scorpio ruled 7th house and through their past relationships have been victims of witchcraft because of it. Whether it was their partners paying people to do spells on them or someone their partners were previously involved with or someone their partners were close with, its been a somewhat common occurrence for this person unfortunately☹️

(And i don’t think having a neptune there helped either…😕)

🍿Those of you who have your Moon in the 8th house, do you like horror films? Like it’s something i’ve noticed with a few people i know and i personally dislike a lot of them👎

🍿As a girl with a Gemini Juno, funny guys are my absolute weakness😩😩 Gemini Sun men also. In fact just all men with Gemini placements. Does this apply to you guys with your Juno placement?

🍿Aquarius risings are so cool, love them😚

🍿Since the 12th house rules bed pleasures, how many of your 12th housers like really and i mean REALLY like your bed. Like in fact do you guys ever like leaving your house?

🍿If you have Uranus in the 4th house, if you’d like to, tell me what your family does that you think no other family does🤔

🍿Everytime I have my Moon in the 8th house in my lunar return chart, something always comes to an end. Do you guys notice the same thing with your lunar return charts or nah

🍿Not an observation but I have Pluto in the 8th house at 29 degrees for my solar return chart this year and I am a little frightened icl… have any of you guys had this placement in your sr charts? If so, what happened that year?

🍿Living on your Saturn MC line is soooo tough😩feeling like life is harder for you than most ppl is NOT it😭😭

🍿Leo Risings, do your relationships ever stem from a friends to lovers type situation or nah?

🍿Now i know i’ve mentioned this before in a previous post but I just wanna say again that having a Moon-Chiron conjunction in your sr chart absolutely sucks. A year where you can really be going through it😖😖😖

🍿I currently have Neptune in the 1st opposite mars AND mercury in the 7th house in my sr chart and i can tell you that the daydreaming about being in a relationship has gone into overdrive…😔

🍿I also have my 5th house ruler conjunct chiron in my sr chart and heartbreak has occurred… so if you have it in your sr chart you may wanna brace yourself😫

(I thought my sr chart was gonna be really good but I was unfortunately blind to every other placement in my chart but my major 7th house stellium… REMEMBER GUYS A 7TH HOUSE STELLIUM CAN INDICATE GAINING BEST FRIENDS AND DOES NOT GUARANTEE YOU A RELATIONSHIP😭😭

🍿A more straightforward observation but having Chiron in the 11th house of a SR chart can indicate losing some friends… like not necessarily in the typical way where you guys fall out, but it could be a scenario where they move away, or you guys can’t see each other as often for whatever reason.

🍿I feel like living on your Saturn MC line can also indicate getting into more problems with authority figures and more so them starting problems with you… they can turn into absolute f***ing b****rds out of nowhere… sorry i just have some trauma with members of authority😭😭

🍿I have my sun at 10 degrees and a 10th house stellium… I wonder if thats why i’ve always felt like i had an old soul… this is probably why my family always says to me that i’m a grandma😭😭

🍿7th house ruler in the 10th house of a sr chart can indicate meeting someone at work

🍿In a few months Jupiter will conjunct my natal Juno… I wonder what’ll happen then?🤔

🍿I feel like Gemini Mercury’s multitask a lot. Like A LOT. It’s almost tiring to watch them do it tbh😭

🍿I feel like having a Leo ruled 5th house can indicate attracting partners who worship you.

This was different from my other observations but I hope you guys still enjoyed it😭

Check my pinned for more💖

next post

[ultralightpoe]

Anti-hero - Roy Kent

Authors Note : Based off a request I got {Could you do a Jamie or Roy fic with a girl who feels self conscious as their date to a gala or something? Lots of fluff and comfort! If you don’t want to write it, no worries 💜} A quick reminder that you are all beautiful and truly wonderful. You all deserve the world, and I hope you all find your own Roy Kent. -Ultralightpoe

Word Count: 3,997

Warnings: self doubt. curse words

Requests: OPEN

Main Master list - - Midnights Event List

(Thank you for the gif @50shadesofpemberlypost )

x Enjoy x

I have this thing where I get older but just never wiser

Midnights become my afternoons

When my depression works the graveyard shift

All of the people I've ghosted stand there in the room

- 

It had been an issue for years, one that was directly caused by your mother. 

It’s not that she was a villain, and it wasn’t like she knew she was doing it anyways, it was always something that just managed to slip out of her mouth in passing moments . A quick ‘that shows your back fat’ there and a ‘are you sure you like that color? It washes you out baby’. Always said with that tone that made you rethink every decision in life. 

She did it out of love. 

But the comments she made built up, that and the pressure of school and social media building up. It all took a toll on you. You found your life mixed with new issues. Anxiety, self-doubt, depression, and you became a new person. 

It was like a shadow version of you, one that tracked how much she ate and thought about how loud she laughed and how much was too much talking. Every single move you made was tracked and overthought.

But then Roy came into the picture. 

At first you did what you usually did, you tried to speak low and not draw too much attention. Tracking how much you laughed and how much you ate. It was fine because your friend group never really realized it, they didn’t know a thing was out of place. But Roy, who had been brought by his sister, was quick to call it out. 

“Fucking stop that.” He muttered when you tried to fix your skirt, using his hand to slap yours away. “You look fucking perfect. Take a breath, yeah?”

“I just…. I’m debating the color, everyone else wore pastels and I hadn’t realized that it would be that type of party.” You admit, body hot with embarrassment as a group of girls pass you at the party. But that was the least of your worries, you had eaten too much cake and had tripped on the stairs in front of your friends. Could everyone see your makeup on your neck? Were they laughing at you-

“Do you overthink everything?” Roy blurts, catching your elbow to pull you back gently as a waiter with a heavy tray passes by. “Because I’ll tell you right now that you’re the prettiest fucking woman at this party.”

“You can’t say that at someone’s birthday party.” You laugh, stepping closer to him without realizing. “That’s one of the biggest rules. It’s like saying someone is prettier than Aphrodite. Next thing you know that person will be cursed to marry your father because the goddess hates you.”

“I’m sorry?”

“It’s…. Greek mythology. I’m not going to marry my dad. It… okay. I’ve ruined this so I am just going to-” You move away quicker than he can follow and you think that it was over. But you had not known just how determined Roy Kent was. 

Soon enough he was taking you out, one date became 4 which led to a relationship. 10 months in and you were the happiest you had ever been. He saw you, in every outfit and every mood and every way, and he loved you just as you were. 

But there was something you didn’t expect, the amount of attention that would come with dating a professional football player. It was a whole new demon in itself. 

- 

I should not be left to my own devices

They come with prices and vices

I end up in crisis (tale as old as time)

I wake up screaming from dreaming

One day I'll watch as you're leaving

'Cause you got tired of my scheming

(For the last time)

- 

Lunches with your mother were the worst, and yet you loved her more than anything. Today she chose an extremely fancy restaurant dressed in a Valentino outfit and her makeup to perfection as she cut her salad up with her fork and knife. 

“Oh this is dreadful.” She sighs, shaking her head. “There is barely any chicken in here. This is insane. Do you see chicken?”

“There is chicken.” Roy shrugs, narrowing his eyes a bit. Lunches with them were always such a weird dynamic considering they were exact opposites. Your mother looked for drama, she thrived off of arguing. Roy chose brutal honesty, he worked best on shutting arguments down before they could even start.  “It’s right there.”

“Oh, baby that is a terrible color on you.” She huffs, sitting the plate back down and turning her glare on you as her hand raises to call the server over. “It washes you out. What have I told you about-”

“She looks fucking stunning today.” Roy scoffs, blinking slowly. 

“It’s fine.” You whisper to him, trying to defuse the situation. 

“No, it’s not.”

“Now I read somewhere that there is a big fundraiser gala coming up, it was in the paper. I assume you both will be attending.” Your mother begins, smiling when the server starts heading over. “You should let me dress you darling. I know how you get anxious about that all and I want to make sure you look your best.”

“She’ll look bloody fantastic in anything-”

“Oh you finally decided to serve your table.” Your mother interrupts him, talking to the server and completely disregarding your boyfriend. 

He takes a moment to lean over to you, catching your eyes. “I’m about to stab my fork into my fucking eye.”

“I know.” You smile, leaning in closer to kiss his cheek which makes him growl a bit at the pda but you see the smile he fights off anyways. “We’ll be gone soon.”

“You look great and the dress you pick will be fantastic. Don’t listen to her.” He gruffs out. 

“Have you seen those posts of you two? They were commenting on your age difference and I just want you to know that I do not think you are too immature for him. Truthfully honey I am proud, I never thought you’d make it with someone so accomplished. I mean it’s not like you had many prospects.” She laughs as the server sends Roy a wide eyed look while taking her plate away leaving the table once more. 

“That’s it.” Roy snaps, slamming his silverware down on the table and pointing his finger at her. “You watch how you speak to her. She’s perfect. And she will be a bombshell at the gala.”

Your mothers face flushes, blinking at him slowly as Roy goes back to his meal like nothing happened while you fight off a smile, your foot rubbing his calf under the table in a silent thank you before you try to pull it back only for his legs to slam shut keeping your foot held there. 

He sends you a sharp look, but the corner of his mouth curves up and you know that was his way of showing his love so you take it, smiling right back at him. 

- 

It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me

At tea time, everybody agrees

I'll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror

It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero

- 

The dress you chose for the gala was perfect, you were excited to wear it and truthfully you were excited about the whole thing. This would be the first event you had ever attended with the Richmond team in the public eye, and you wanted to make a good impression. 

But your mothers words from the years rang through your head constantly as you waited for their practice to end, leaning against the wall in the hallway as you thought about everything. 

“Oh! Hello.” A angelic voice rings out, pulling your attention to Rebecca Welton coming down the hallway, making you stand up quickly. 

“Ms. Welton! Hi, hello, hey…. I’m saying hi in too many ways.” You blush, moving to shake her hand. “It’s great to see you again.”

“I was just about to say the same thing. Are you waiting for the boys?”

“I am, yeah. My car is in the shop so I need a ride.” 

“Oh lovely, will I be seeing you at the gala? I have been planning it for weeks, my ex husband used to plan it. The wanker.”

“I’ll be there. I just hope I dress well enough.” You laugh slightly, but her eyebrow raises and you panic slightly. Did everyone on this team just see right through all your shit? 

“You’ll look perfect. I wish I still had a figure like yours.”

“ANGEL!” Someone calls out before you are lifted into the arms of Danny Rojas, kissing the side of your face as he swings you around. 

“Alright. Set her down, will ya?” Roy snaps, coming around the corner and rubbing his knee as Danny sets you down quickly, kissing your cheek one more time before heading away. You lean forward and rub Roy’s knee right where you know he feels the most pain. 

“Is it hurting a lot?” You mumble, as he pulls your hand away. “Sorry, did I hurt you?”

“No, I just don’t want to moan in the middle of this hallway. Let’s go home?” Before you can even answer he is grabbing your bag and moving to take you to the car. 

- 

Sometimes I feel like everybody is a sexy baby

And I'm a monster on the hill

Too big to hang out, slowly lurching toward your favorite city

Pierced through the heart, but never killed

- 

Roy was in a shit mood the day of the gala, slamming cupboard after cupboard. You knew he was irritated about having to dress up and see the reporters that used to write about him all the time, and you knew in moments like this it was best to let him work through it. But sometimes you just couldn’t stay away. 

Shuffling closer, in his shirt, you wrap your arms around his center and shove your face into his back. He huffs out as he keeps swiping  the sponge against the counter, but he doesn’t push you away so you take a chance and kiss between his shoulder blades. “It’s going to be okay. What they say about you doesn’t matter.”

He sighs out, letting go of the sponge before turning around in your arms and wrapping his own around you, placing a kiss on your forehead. 

“You were young and they were assholes for that…. So fuck them.”

“Fuck them.” He repeats. 

“You’re going to walk by them in your fine ass suit with your fine ass body-”

“Please don’t objectify me.” He mumbles, but a smile is already on his lips as he leans down to kiss you deeply before pulling back. “And I will have the brightest fucking gem with me tonight.”

“Oh, c’mon.” You blush, trying to pull back but his arms are tight around you. 

“I think we need to fuck.” He huffs kisses at your face again. 

“Don’t be so crass!” You laugh, trying to escape him and shuffling you both to the bedroom right as your phone rings. “It’s my mother.”

“No. Don’t answer.”

“I have to, or she’s gonna be mad.” You answer back, watching his face turn dead serious as he looks at you. His hands come up to rub at your jaw. 

“You listen to me you little rat.” He mumbles, you fighting back a laugh at the nickname. “Don’t listen to a word she says, because you are beautiful.”

“I won’t. I promise.” You promise, kissing his lips deeply and losing yourself to the kiss for a moment before he pulls back and shuffles to continue cleaning the counter. You swipe your thumb across the screen and mumble out a “Hello mother.”

“Oh you’re there! I thought you were about to ignore my call.” She snaps through the phone. 

- 

Did you hear my covert narcissism I disguise as altruism

Like some kind of congressman? (Tale as old as time)

I wake up screaming from dreaming

One day I'll watch as you're leaving

And life will lose all its meaning

(For the last time)

- 

You broke your promise, and you let your mother get the best of you. 

Her words from earlier bounce around your mind as you get ready. You debate whether or not your hair looked healthy as you spray hairspray across it. Did it look greasy? Untamed? Could they see your split ends?

Was your nail polish the wrong color? Was there a patch of hair on your legs that you missed? Did the dress color wash you out? Did you look too heavy? Was it too late to cancel?

“You look…. “ Roy blinks, coming up behind you to help zip the dress. “Fuck.”

“Is that good?” You ask, biting at your lip as he leans to kiss the nape of your neck. 

“Good? You look bloody amazing.” He snaps, kissing your neck one more time before standing straight. “Now let’s go make money.”

“What are we fundraising for? I never looked into it?”

“I have no fucking clue.” 

“Right.” You laugh, turning with your hand in his as he kisses your knuckles softly. “Then let’s go make money for whatever needs money.” 

“Make a fortune.”

- 

It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me (I'm the problem, it's me)

At tea time, everybody agrees

I'll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror

It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero

- 

Your lip was worn down from the amount you had been biting it. 

Walking up to the gala you saw a red carpet with dozens of flashing cameras and begin to panic as you get closer, your hand tightening in Roys as he stands straighter. You would not be able to handle the cameras and see your picture all over the internet. What would people say? They would trash you, oh how bad would it be?

But Roy, ever the perfect man, simply held your hand tight and walked across the red carpet with a confidence that made your skin hot. He muttered to each that called his name, his voice deep and uncaring. “No. No. Fuck you. Fuck off. Fuck no.”

A smile blooming across your face as you let him lead you into the building where everyone is walking about with drinks in their hand. 

“I’m going to go get us drinks. Your usual?” He asks, waiting for your nod before heading in the direction of the bar leaving you standing there to take a look around. 

You took your chance to look around at everyone around you, smiling at anyone you make eye contact with. The anxieties began rising, as every gorgeous female passed you in their perfect dresses. Was your dress cheap looking? Did you look pathetic?

You were caught up in your thoughts as Jamie approached with his date, a model that introduces herself with a hug that makes you sniff caramel, leaving you with a crater in your chest as you look at her perfection. Jamie talks about the gala, looking around at everyone as a flash makes you blink, all three of you turning to the person that just took your picture. 

“The actual fuck?” Jamie scoffs, staring at him. “We were having a conversation, ye?”

“Sorry.” The man nods, moving to walk off and bumping into Nate with another apology. “Didn’t see you.”

“Hi Nate.” You smile, trying to seem calm when he walks up. “You look great.”

“Thank you! Mr. Lasso actually bought me this suit.”

“Who?” You blink, trying to see who he had been talking about. It wasn’t meant to be a snappy or snide comment, you had yet to be introduced to the new coach and the name didn’t ring a bell at first. But the second you saw the man with the mustache owning the crowd not far off you knew who Nate was talking about. 

But when you turn back to Nate you see a glare set on his features, his cheeks a little red as he blatantly looks away from you. “You look great, Jamie. You as well Keeley.”

Then he walks off, bumping into you harshly as he passes which makes the blonde look at you with wide eyes as Jamie excuses himself for another drink. 

“Oh, that was extremely rude of me. I shouldn’t have asked about the coach- that was-”

“What are you talking about?” She blinks, looking extremely confused. “You didn’t do anything wrong?”

“Here you are.” Roy grunts, handing you the chilled glass. “Keeley.”

“Hello Roy.” She smiles before Jamie whistles to pull her over. 

“Did he just call her like she was a dog?” You ask Roy as she walks over, and he shrugs. 

“He’s a wanker. Always has been and always will be.” Roy grunts out, rolling his eyes. “He doesn’t ever pass the ball. And he is a massive tool. You should hear some of the things he says to-” He begins to explain as you try to smooth out your dress before his hand shoots out to stop you. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Your answer was too quick, his eyes narrow and he catches it. 

“What happened?”

“I just…. I think I upset Nate because I asked to Lasso was and I didn’t mean to and everyone here looks amazing. But I’m fine. Everything is fine.” 

“Did that little fuck say something?”

“No. It’s fine Roy. Everything is fine.” You smile, leaning forward to kiss his lips which he allows before moving back and holding his hand knowing he doesn’t like pda.  “Let’s go find our seats?”

- 

I have this dream my daughter in-law kills me for the money

She thinks I left them in the will

The family gathers 'round and reads it and then someone screams out

"She's laughing up at us from hell"

- 

“Hello Roy, you handsome devil you.” A southern voice rings out, walking up to where you and Roy were seated together. “And what pairs so well with a handsome devil? An angel.”

“The devil is technically… well historically the devil is an angel.” You blush, immediately feeling stupid as the fun fact slips from your lips. “Well, I mean- I’m sorry that was stupid.”

“Stupid? Absolutely not. I feel ashamed that I didn’t know it.” He laughs, leaning to shake your hand. “My name is Ted, all my friends call me Ted which means you must.”

“It’s wonderful to meet you. Roy was telling me about all the new techniques at your practices.” You smile, making your boyfriend shake his head. 

“I said nothing good.” Roy huffs.  

“He said everything good.” You smile which makes Ted smile back. 

“You both look fantastic. Have a drink on me, since it’s an open bar.” Ted jokes, moving to walk away as Roy places his hand on your lower back. 

“Why the fuck would you tell him that I said good things?” He huffs and your stomach drops. 

“I’m sorry. It was just teasing and you do always say great things about him so-”

“Take it easy. You are fine.” He shakes his head. “Are you okay?”

You hadn’t noticed but your fists had clenched and your nails were digging into your skin, his own fingers were quick to make you release the hold and rub his thumb over the crescent marks left on your skin before bringing your hand up to kiss your palm. 

“I thought you hated pda.” You whisper, leaning so your foreheads were pressed together as he pretended to roll his eyes. 

“Fuck it. I have a gorgeous date and I deserve to kiss her in public.” 

“Are you sure? It’s a big move for you.”

“Have you seen yourself? Prettier than the goddess aphrodite.” He smiles and your eyes widen. 

“How. Dare. You! What have you done? I’m going to have to marry my dad now. Roy, how could you have done this to me?” You laugh, shaking your head. “I also cannot believe you remember that from almost a year ago.”

“Of course I remember.” He blinks. “That was the first conversation I had with the love of my life. Who would forget that?”

“Oh knock it off.” You mumble, shaking your head. 

“Knock it off? Knock what off?” He snaps. “Do you realize how fucking lucky I was that day? The day you looked at me? My life was made. The second best day of my life.”

“Second?”

“Second. My niece’s birth is the first.” 

“I’m fucking honored.” You laugh, smiling from ear to ear. 

“Did you just cuss?”

“I did. I’m sorry. My mother would kill me.” You blush. 

“Can I be honest with you for a second?”

“When are you not?”

“Fuck your mother.” He blurts, which makes your eyes widen. “I hate her. I think she is miserable and you are far fucking prettier than aphrodite and you don’t have to worry about the goddess making you marry your dad because I will be marrying you. No goddess or god could keep me from you.”

“Oh yeah?”

“You’re stuck with me. And I need you to stop being to fucking mean to yourself. You hear me?” He asks seriously. “Because that’s the love of my life you are talking about.” 

“I can try.” 

“Good. Now lets get another round and wait this fucking gala out. Then lets go get actual food because I know you skipped lunch.”

“Sounds like a plan.” You smile before a flash blinds you once more, making you both whirl to the man with the camera. 

“You fucker-” Roy begins to stand as he dashes off. 

- 

It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me

It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me

It's me, hi, everybody agrees, everybody agrees

- 

You both end up at a late night potato stand, sitting on one of their benches as you both laugh at the memory of the auction that had taken place. 

“A fucking grandma bid on me. You know how embarrassing that was?”

“Hey! I bid on you too!” You laugh, body shaking from laughing so hard. “And Keeley!”

“Keeley was pissing that little wanker off.” He huffs, rubbing your thigh gently as you keep his blazer wrapped around you. “Thank you for coming with me tonight.”

“Thank you for bringing me. I am sorry I upset Nate-”

“Stop saying sorry. You have nothing to be sorry for.” He mumbles, leaning to dig his spoon into your baked potato and take a big mouthful of it. “Fuck. That is good.”

“You say that about anything I get! You always do this!” You laugh, pretending to pull the potato away. 

“You always choose better!”

- 

It's me, hi (hi), I'm the problem, it's me (I'm the problem, it's me)

At tea (tea) time (time), everybody agrees (everybody agrees)

I'll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror

It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero

- 

“Fuck!” You wake up to the sound of Roy yelling from the kitchen, rushing to wrap yourself in the sheet left on the bed from last night as your feet pad across the floor to find where he is at. 

You find him sitting on the couch with a cup of coffee, glaring at his laptop, until he sees you coming out of the bedroom in just a sheet. 

“Fuck.” Unlike his last curse this one is said with a lusty tone, setting the coffee down as you come closer to the couch and move to sit by him. 

“What’s got you so mad, handsome?”

“They posted a picture of me and they said I’m retired. What fucks.”

“Is it a bad idea? To be retired?” You ask, moving to straddle him before he can pull an attitude. “You would have more time with me. More time to hang out and cuddle and sleep and…. You can finish the rest.” 

“.....Fuck.”

[cuttergauthier]

Fresh Start

Jack Hughes x Female Edwards Reader

Warning: cussing, fluff

word count: 1.0k

let me know what you guys think🤍

I was starting my last year of University, I used to go to the University of Michigan but after a bad break up I ended up transferring to Columbia University. 

Columbia university is only a few minutes from Jersey, the team my brother was drafted by. My younger brother and I are pretty close, I could have stayed in Michigan and spent my last year with him there, but I needed a change, and to be somewhere I wouldn't run into my ex.

My brother will be in Jersey in a few years and I can't wait.

Since my brother started playing for the Michigan Wolverines he became close with his teammates, he’s pretty close to Luke Hughes, who was also drafted by the New Jersey Devils, now there roommates in Michigan, Luke playing in his last year before he joins his brother jack in Jersey who already plays for the devils.

Because both Luke and Ethan got to Michigan at the same time, along with a few others they stuck together, and are really close.

My brother introduced me to his teammates and I became friends with them, mostly the older ones. Now when I told the guys I was transferring to Columbia they were all sad but they understood why. Luke and Ethan both made it their mission to tell Jack, Luke’s brother to make sure he looks after me, they don’t think I know but it was pretty obvious.

Last summer when Ethan was invited to the Hughes Lake house, they also invited me, since according to Luke I became like a sister to him. That’s where I met Jack for the first time, Luke introduced us. Jack and I didn’t talk much that summer but I know for a fact that Ethan and Luke told him to look after me when I was at Columbia, I’m not stupid even tho both Ethan and Luke are younger than me, ever since my break up they’ve been protective.

Now I've been in Jersey for about a month and a half. University started a few weeks ago, Jack came by my apartment during my second day here, he said he wanted to show me around but I knew Luke told him. 

Jack showed all the best places to go to in New York, he also introduced me to his teammates, they're all really nice and welcoming, so is Jack.

Ever since I got here, we’ve been spending a lot of time together when he doesn’t have practice and I’m not busy with homework. 

Today is Wednesday. I had class from 8:30 to 10 a.m. This morning, Jack had the day off so he asked if I wanted to hang out after class and I agreed.

I just got back to my apartment. It's now 10:30 p.m. Jack said he’d be here at 11 a.m. so i went and changed out of my jeans and put on a pair of black Lululemon leggings so I could be more comfortable.

Once I was done I went and sat down on my couch, I turned on Netflix and put on the new season of Outer Banks so I could watch before he got here. 

Thankfully I didn’t have any homework to do since I finished it last night. Ever since i’ve gotten close to jack i started to get feelings but there’s nothing i can do about it since i doubt he feels the same way. My brother will be his teammate in a couple of years and I also don’t want to make things weird between them.

At around 11:02 a.m. there was a knock on the door, I paused the show and went to open the door.

“Hey, this is for you” Jack greeted me smiling with an extra coffee in his hands, when I opened the door.

“Hey, come in and thank you, you didn’t have to get me a coffee” I replied smiling and taking the coffee from him, while opening the door wider so he could walk in, once he did I closed the door. Jack took off his shoes and we made our way to the living room.

“ it’s nothing, i know you had class this morning so i thought you might need one” 

“I really did, so thank you” 

“ What are we doing today?” He asked 

“I have no clue, what do you want to do?” I said

“I was thinking maybe if it’s okay with you, i could take you on a date” he said looking at me waiting for my response. I was shocked. I didn't think he felt the same way.

“I’d love that” i said smiling softly

“Perfect, do you want to go after we're both done with our coffees?” He asked

“That’s perfect” i said nodding

“How have you been? How are your classes?” 

“I’m good, my classes have been a bit stressful but it’s normal since it’s my senior year.” 

“Makes sense, are you excited to be graduating in May?”

“Yes, I can't wait,” I said eagerly, making him chuckle.

“Jeez, it is that bad” he said sarcastically making me chuckle 

“No, i’m just excited to be able to do what i love full time” i said smiling

“I’m glad”

“Are you ready to go out?” He asked once I took the last sip of coffee.

“Yeah, let’s go” i said smiling

We put on our shoes and jackets before making our way out of my apartment. I grabbed my hand and I looked at him smiling.

“Where are you taking me?” I asked curious

“It’s a surprise” he said smiling

Jack ended up taking me out to one of my favorite restaurants that he showed me when i first moved here, it was an amazing date, i had a lot of fun. 

Now Jack dropped me off at home. He walked me up to my door.

“I had an amazing time tonight” I said, turning and looking at Jack who already had a smile on his face.

“Me too, any chance I can take you on another date soon?” He asked.

“I would love that” i said blushing 

“Perfect,” he replied. 

He leaned in and kissed my cheek.

“I’ll talk to you later, have a good night Yn” he said before leaving.

Once I made it in the apartment and closed the door I couldn't stop smiling.

Another date? I like the sound of that!!

[itsabouttimex2]

Sooooo... How do you feel about the season 5?

In short? Mid. 6-6.5/10.

In long…?

A severely rushed season that bit off way more than it could chew. A season that had the characters pull powers from their asses more frequently than ever before. A season that had shitty “dramatic” moments for the sake of having dramatic moments. A season that lampshades issues instead of fixing them. A season with so, so much wasted potential.

It basically boils down: everything they wanted to do COULD have been good, but they just didn’t have the time.

I’ll go into some varied details below. I’d also like to make clear- I’ll be tagging all of my Season Five Posts with “Lego Monkie Kid Season 5” and “LMK Spoilers” until August 1st. Then the gloves are coming off and I’ll stop tagging them.

(I still liked the season, for what it’s worth- and you can watch it in full here! I’ve got some drafts and bots cooking as we speak!)

This was a cute send-off to Flying Bark! It was nice of them to acknowledge, in some way, everything that those dears did for the show- because Lego Monkie Kid would NOT be where it is without them.

Significantly less cute-

The absolute kick in the fucking face that constantly superimposing old footage over newer, worse footage is.

You don’t want us to be constantly reminded of the animation downgrade- that’s the literal last thing that anyone wants. Why would you constantly remind us that it used to be better?

What the fuck does this accomplish? Okay, let’s make comparisons, cause that’s the only thing that can result from pulling this shit-

This is what happens when you constantly reference the older, superior content.

PEOPLE CONSTANTLY NOTICE THAT YOUR CONTENT IS WORSE.

Also, why is it so saturated? How do you make a Lego Minifigure look like he has jaundice?

It’s just a bad look to constantly reference content you can’t live up to. I’m hoping they’ll just recreate old content instead of sloppily pasting it into the background of the show- it’ll be less jarring.

Alright, what else…

———

Uh, I fucking called it! Nuwa is not MK’s “loving though bereft mommy”! Which I had been guessing ever since the Celestial Pagoda leaked, actually-

I mean, come on. He’s literally stealing the stones away from her as she reaches to take them back.

And the Season confirmed it! Nuwa might’ve be been MK’s creator, but she certainly wasn’t his momma.

And you know how the series subtlety clues you in to how little she cares about her “son”?

Nuwa didn’t give him a name. She had hundreds, maybe thousands of years to think on it- but no. No name.

We mortals name our pets, our vehicles, our art. We love them enough to bestow monikers.

Nuwa didn’t even bother to name her own sapient mortal creation.

But when he makes a move against her, does something she doesn’t want, takes destiny into his own hands?

She calls out to him with one word- not “son”. Not “MK”.

Nuwa angrily calls him “mortal”.

Becuase that’s all he ever was to her, really. A mortal pawn. A handmade puppet.

Someone designed to fulfill a sacrifice. Even though her intentions were good, MK’s sole purpose by her hand was to shoulder the weight of the world like a good little hero.

So… a potential villain in the making?

———

Lampshading the fact that you’re doing the “macguffin hunt” again does not excuse doing the “macguffin hunt” again.

Lampshading the “apocalypse after apocalypse” plots doesn’t make them any less exhausting.

Lampshading Macaque’s lack of narrative consequences does not undo the awkward and weak redemption arc.

———

They changed Mei “no longer wielding” the Samadhi fire, I guess.

Ignore that she never displayed a hint of concern or sorrow over “losing it” because now she’s sad and worried (after backlash from the fans over her losing it) about losing it.

Like, Subodhi knows so much about the world and the universe that he’s aware of his existence in the ink scroll- but he gets Mei not having an interplanetary level threat inside her wrong?

I smell a retcon.

———

Macaque’s redemption arc is still shit. I’ve got a whole rant queued to release soon, actually- I imagine it might be the final time I comment on his arc until Season Six.

To put it short- Macaque still falls upwards into redemption. No pushback or difficulty or introspection. He’s just a magically better person without any onscreen development to make the change believable.

But they reference this at one point?

Sun Wukong points out that Macaque escapes the trial without any punishment, and is just allowed to mope in place of an actual consequence.

So maaaaaayybeeeee they’ll do something in Season Six? I’ve lost all faith that he’ll ever be an interesting character again, though.

He’s essentially just “brooding rival #80058”. Instead of being a character that calls back to Seasons 1-3, from 4 onwards he’s just a brand new dude who totally didn’t commit any atrocities with a smile on his face- and he’s a worse and more boring character for it.

———

If I haven’t misjudged the intent, I think Monkie Kid will be going back to being an episodic series for the extent of Season Six. Again, they lampshade the “apocalypse after apocalypse” thing, yeah?

And now they have a perfect formula- find someone who’s having trouble with their new power, and help them.

And we might see Bai He again???

Let’s hope for a good breather season!

———

Rest in piss Li Jing their asses did NOT cook with you sorry papa

You could’ve been interesting in the writers didn’t try to pull a “loving father” bait and switch after you got like four scenes of being a raw jackass

If they were going to deviate from the source material and make you a good dad couldn’t it have just been:

“Li Jing, you were not invited to the trial!”

“STF that monkey son of a bitch hurt my baby boy-“

“Father I’m 300-“

“Hush son, let daddy take care of this- that monkey son of a bitch hurt my baby boy when he stole the Samadhi fire map!”

Maybe next season you’ll get to be interesting, hun.

(I’m still writing for Lotusfam though)

———

Drama for the sake of drama. 0/10 scene. Could’ve just had the interruption come AFTER they held hands, but no. Gotta drag shit out for the shippers or whatever. There was no reason to prolong this reunion.

I’m really not a fan of the “just wait another season for it”, mentality. Stop stretching shit out. You had a chance to do something sweet and heartwarming, and chose not to for the sake of trying to drag a conclusion out.

Ugh.

———

Characters just pull powers out of their ass for the sake of forcing dramatic scenes.

THESE ARE DOGSHIT SCENES

THIS MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE. THIS IS DONE SOLELY FOR THE SALE OF “MUH DRAMATIC FINALE” AND IS BAD

ITS BAD WRITING TO HAVE CHARACTERS PULL NEW MAGICAL POWERS OUT OF THEIR ASSES FOR THE SAKE OF DRAMA

IF WUKONG HAD THIS POWER FROM THE START HE SHOULD’VE USED IT AGAINST HIS FUCKING LETHAL ENEMIES AND NOT SAVED IT FOR HIS PRECIOUS STUDENT

MK NEVER LEARNED TO USE THE FILLET SPELL. THE WRITERS PULLED IT OUT OF THEIR ASS TO FORCE DRAMA BY HAVING MK TORTURE HIS MENTOR LONGER THAN EVEN THEIR ACTING ENEMY LI JING DID WITH A CIRCLET THAT IS CANONICALLY TIGHTER THAN HIS FIRST

WE SEE HOW FAST HE IS WHEN HE FIGHTS THE AZURE LION

MK CAN MOVE FASTER THAN WUKONG

HE COULD’VE BEATEN HIM THERE IN AN EQUALLY CLIMATIC RACE

I FEEL NOTHING WHEN I WATCH THIS BECAUSE IT IS FORCED DRAMA FOR THE SAKE OF DRAMA

—————————————————

💚💚💚

[sokuly419]

So now that I cried, sat in relative silence for about an hour, and had some time to sleep… I think I can make some kind of choppy ramble about Act 2. It’s gonna be long… sorry.

First, let’s just appreciate the cheap shots.

Jinx calling Vi “Fat Hands” after just absolutely dogging on each other.

Vi calling Cait a “rich, unhinged mongoose” and Cait following it up with “angry oil slick.”

Cait cracking Vi in the face with the butt of her rifle (seriously, girl, stop it) and giving the “I’m really sorry but you asked” shrug.

Vi spitting on Cait’s cheek just for her to wipe it across her lips.

Vi telling Ambessa to “just shut the fuck up.”

Guys. This act was pure pettiness and lovely.

Okay, I think a handful of people need to be reminded there was a time jump of several months. I’ve been seeing a lot of people accusing Cait of immediate rebound with Maddie and an immediate switch when she reunited with Vi. More on that later.

The way I started out mad as fuck because, well, Maddie. I did laugh at the way Cait kept pulling away every time Maddie tried to get intimate. Girl was feeling all sorts of guilt about it I think. When Cait made a comment about not thinking about it going on so long, it could either be taken as whatever she had going on with Maddie or about the martial law. I have a feeling they were going for the martial law situation, but I saw it as either. Either way, there’s some kind of realization that happened.

Honestly, Jinx was dishing it out the whole time and I loved it. All of it. She’s just a little shit. Jinx was never my favorite, but like I said before, I do like her. No hate here. And her relationship with Isha and Sevika? Come on. Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.

Now, I’ve never played the game and I don’t ever plan to but I have listened to the in game dialogue or have at least heard some of it. And I’m so glad we got Jinx calling Vi “Fat Hands.”

Vi was a damn mess. I mean, we all knew it was gonna happen. But seeing her pale and sunken? Even after Jinx shows up? Ooooof.

The banter with Jinx was lovely. They’re just sisters and it shows.

And we finally got to see her actually smile. Only for it to be ripped away. Again.

Now… I want to address the seemingly sudden switch for a lot of things, particularly Cait and Vi.

There was a time jump of “months.” Even if it wasn’t flat out said, you can tell by the length of Vi’s hair. It doesn’t get that much longer in even a single month or even two or three, guys. On average it’s about 6” per year. Even in the trailers and teasers we got before s2 even started, I knew there was going to be a time jump at some point based on that alone. I remember kinda looking at my wife like, “Vi’s hair is… longer. Wonder when that happens.” I’m thinking this jump is around 8-10 months after Act 1

Anyhow, the characters had time to think and do things in that time. Cait probably finally started to realize her actions do, in fact, have consequences. And seeing Vi again was the final nail in that coffin. We watched her fold quickly. And that little “cupcake” sealed it. And before we start getting into the “I can’t believe they’re working together again so quick after what Cait did” let’s take a second to think about the Act 3 teaser. They’re gonna argue. 100% things are going to get thrown in Cait’s face. It’s not all rainbows and sunshine.

And then there’s Vi. People are dogging on her for essentially losing a physical interaction with Cait when she fought in a pit for a living for those several months. To start, it was an ambush and took her by surprise (Jinx was also able to land one hell of a slap by taking her by surprise too). Cait also had a weapon at her disposal and used it (seriously, can we stop hitting Vi with the butt of the rifle?). Now this is just me throwing some realness into all of this, but Vi was drinking a lot and falling into alcoholism. When you stop drinking, you feel weaker and sick and foggy (at least that how it was for me). I wouldn’t be surprised at all if that was something to do with how easy it was for Cait to take her down. Vi was likely going through some withdrawals. Again, that’s just some speculation and giving some real life attributes.

Now for them to trust and work together again so quickly? I think it was at a level of just needing to get something done and complete the “mission.” At least at first. The amount of care and love Cait still has for Vi was so obvious. Which brings me to… y’all should really listen to Oil & Water by PVRIS. It’s been confirmed a while ago (if I’m remembering correctly) that it’s about Cait and Vi from primarily Cait’s POV. Vi clearly still loves Cait but she’s also still, rightfully, pissed off and hurt.

Can Jayce just… leave shit alone? Just once. For the sake of everyone. Doing that to Viktor was uncalled for and now he caused even more problems.

I’m still not ready to talk about Isha. Because what the actual fuck. The music and flashback montage started and I knew… I just knew. The tears started and then the explosion and then I was full on sobbing. Not cool. I’m still in absolute shock.

Vi having to watch Vander die AGAIN. Give the girl a damn break, please.

Also, where’s Ekko and Heimerdinger? We need the unproblematic ones to calm everything down a few notches. Ekko just wants his tree fixed, man.

My thoughts on Act 3? I’m still hoping we get the Caitvi sex scene. But I’m also so scared someone else is going to die now. Like absolutely terrified.

“Hope you got a chance to, you know, before…”

I will simply give up on everything. Full on rage quit and I’ll end up like Vi at the bottom of that pit.

Someone please tell me I’m wrong and looking too far into it.

Or Jinx sacrificing herself? That’s a popular opinion I’ve been seeing.

I need answers. I need Ekko’s tree fixed and Caitvi to just end up together without question.

And this concludes this round of Arcane season 2 Act 2 rambling.

[redrose10]

Sorry this has taken so long…Here is #10 from the picture game. I hope it’s okay!

Warnings: Angst, slightly suggestive, hints of loosing virginity, small mentions of death and seeing a therapist as well as mental health struggles, cheating , swearing, mention of divorce

September 8th, 2003

To Whomever It May Concern,

My name is Min Yoongi. I live in Daegu. I am in the fifth grade. My hobbies include basketball, music, and sleeping. My teacher said that we have to write a letter that will be sent to a random pen pal. I think it’s a dumb idea but it’s mandatory. So here it is.

September 15th, 2003

Dear Yoongi,

My name is L/N Y/N. I received your letter. I also think this is dumb but I need the extra credit so here I am. I am also in the fifth grade. I like to cook with my grandma. I love animals and purple is my favorite color. I look forward to hearing from you again.

You laughed as you read over the wrinkled faded letters one by one. At the time you did think that writing to a pen pal was the dumbest idea that your teacher came up with specifically to torture you. The guy you were writing was cute at least. The attached school photo showing a gummy smile and beautiful eyes. At the time you didn’t know how much that letter would become a part of your life.

November 1st, 2003

Dear Y/N,

What do you like to cook? I don’t cook much but I love when my mom makes kimchi stew. It’s starting to get cold. I hope that you are able to stay warm.

November 12th, 2003

Dear Yoongi,

It is getting colder which makes it the perfect weather for kimchi stew. It’s almost time for Christmas. That’s my favorite time of the year. Do you have a favorite Christmas Movie? Mine is Home Alone.

December 11th, 2003

Dear Y/N,

My favorite Christmas movie is also Home Alone. I prefer to listen to Christmas music but I will deny it if anyone asks. Do you have a favorite song?

August 14, 2005

Dear Yoongi

I’m sorry that I never wrote you back. We moved and I lost your address. I just found it again though, if you even still live here. You don’t have to write me back if you don’t want to. I just always felt bad for leaving you hanging without an explanation.

By the way…my favorite Christmas song is Jingle Bell Rock.

You remembered that time of your life. Your parents got divorced and you moved in with your mom. Your grandma suddenly passed away not long after. Your best friend moved across the country too. It felt like your life was falling apart and you wanted some sense of normalcy so when you came across Yoongi’s address you decided to write him even if you thought you might die from embarrassment. You folded those letters back up and gently put them back at the bottom white wooden chest in front of you.

September 9th, 2005

Dear Y/N,

I wondered what happened to you. I didn’t mind. They didn’t make me write letters any more at least haha. I’m glad you’re okay though. I just got back from my cousins wedding. It was very boring. If I ever get married I’m going to wear a blue kangaroo onesie or something, ya know to spice it up a little. Have you ever thought about getting married?

October 12th, 2005

Dear Yoongi,

Oh my god, I’m sure your mother will be thrilled to watch you get married in a blue kangaroo suit. Weddings aren’t too bad but I’ve only ever been to my Aunt’s wedding. Her maid of honor got super drunk and started dancing on a table until it collapsed. It was pretty funny. I’ve never really thought about my wedding. I think I’d want to elope but I know my mom would cry if I did that. As long as I marry my best friend I don’t care though.

December 17th, 2005

Dear Y/N,

Merry Christmas! I hope you enjoy the holiday and break from school.

February 26th, 2006

Dear Yoongi,

I hope you had a great holiday! We went to visit my grandpa. It was really nice. I’m sorry I didn’t write sooner. I’ve been busy packing. We’re moving again in a couple months. My parents said I can finish this year with my friends but I’ll have to start a new school next grade. I’m scared.

March 3rd, 2006

Dear Y/N,

I think it would be exciting to start over somewhere new. Don’t be scared. I’m sure it’ll all be okay. You can still write to me if you want. I’ll always be your friend.

You were scared. Your mom had accepted a job a few hours away. Your parents agreed to to let you live with your dad for the remainder of the school year but then you’d have to move back with your mom and start at a new school the following semester. It was terrifying until you realized something as you were addressing a new letter to Yoongi.

April 8th, 2006

Dear Yoongi,

Thank you for being my friend. That is comforting knowing that I can always write to you. I just realized we’ll be going to the same school though. Maybe we can meet up some time and be friends in person. Is that weird? Anyways I hope to see you in a few months.

August 2nd, 2006

Dear Y/N,

Sorry it was a crazy busy summer. I had to work on my grandparents farm. Wow yeah it looks like we’re going to the same high school. We should meet up! Meet me underneath the maple tree at the front of the school before first period.

That was the most nervous you had ever been. Your heart rate increased as you walked towards the guy waiting underneath the tree. He was even cuter in person. Part of you didn’t want to meet him. Part of you didn’t want the letters to stop as you were sure they would now that you were at the same school. But you pushed forward greeting him with a shy smile which he quickly returned. Your friendship really evolved that day.

September 18th, 2006

Dear Y/N,

I know it’s kind of silly to write you a letter when we already spend almost every day together but I miss it. I really hate our algebra class. I swear Mr. Park is trying to make sure I never graduate. I think I’m going to try out for the basketball team. I might really have a shot at making it. If I do I hope you come to all of my games!

October 1st, 2006

Dear Yoongi,

Mr. Park is not trying to force you to fail. Maybe if you actually paid attention instead of staring at me the whole time you’d actually learn something… I know you’ll make the team, they’d be dumb not to take you. And of course I’ll be in the front row at every game!

And you were there. Yoongi was the star player. You attended every game cheering for him as loud as you could. You were shocked when after the championship game Yoongi pulled you in for a kiss. Neither of you mentioned it again after that night though.

August 21st, 2007

Dear Y/N,

Can you believe we’re in our second year of high school already? I know we haven’t written letters in a while but it seemed right. I’m excited for this year!

September 3rd, 2007

Dear Yoongi,

I was wondering when I’d get a letter… I’m ready for this year. I can’t wait for another basketball season too. I might look into drama club or something. That sounds fun. I’ll see you at Taehyung’s on Friday right?!

September 8th, 2007

Dear Y/N,

I’m sorry I didn’t come up to you at Taehyung’s party. I saw that you were getting pretty cozy with Hoseok and didn’t want to interrupt, anything going on between you two by the way? Not that I really care or anything but as your best friend I think I deserve to know.

September 8th, 2007

Dear Yoongi,

I’m literally sitting right next to you at the lunch table. We can just talk. But no nothing is going on between me and Hobi. I was actually asking him if he knew when you were going to show up.

September 8th, 2007

Dear Y/N,

Okay cool because I wanted to ask if you would go out with me. I’m sorry I don’t have the courage to say it to your face and have to ask you in a letter.

September 8th, 2007

Dear Yoongi,

Yes I will go out with you...but only if you promise to wear a blue kangaroo onesie at our wedding.

September 8th, 2007

Dear Y/N,

I will wear whatever kind of suit you want me too, birthday suit included ;)

You could still remember how hot your face felt that day. You had a huge crush on Yoongi and were planning to confess to him at the party but he never showed up. You were over the moon excited when he confessed first.

The next several letters were just little bits and pieces here and there. Yoongi took a vacation with his family. You got a part time job at an ice cream parlor. They were all important to you in their own ways but you were looking for one in particular and after some searching you found it.

July 11th, 2008

Dear Y/N,

I can’t believe we’re going to be going into our senior year of high school. Last night was amazing. I hope you’re not too sore. I’m sorry if I did or said anything dumb. I was so nervous but I’m thankful that my first time could be with someone that I love so much. You’ve gotten me through so much and I’m excited to see where the rest of our lives takes us.

July 11th, 2008

Dear Yoongi,

You were nothing but gentle and sweet and amazing. I’m glad I could share my first with you too. I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. I love you Yoongi.

That night was one that you would never forget as long as you lived. The love that you two felt for each other was overwhelming and you never thought it would ever change.

January 22nd, 2009

Dear Yoongi,

You are a meanie boo beanie. That is all.

January 23rd, 2009

Dear Y/N,

I am a meanie boo beanie but I’m your meanie boo beanie. I’m sorry I forgot that I was supposed to drive you and your sister to the concert. I really am and I promise I’ll make it up to you both. I love you.

You chuckled as you folded up those letters. Teenage you had no self control sometimes. You probably called him twenty five times and sent who knows how many texts. He stayed calm through it all and apologized to both you and your sister. He got you guys flowers and took you both out to dinner. It was probably super hard on his wallet as a teenager but he still did it without even a frown. You never realized how much that meant to you.

August 21st 2010

Dear Y/ N,

It sucks we ended up at different colleges. I really really miss you. Sometimes I regret our decision. I hope you’re doing well and everyone is treating you good. If anyone tried anything let me know and I’ll be there so fast. I love you Y/N.

September 5th, 2010

Dear Yoongi,

I know I miss you too. I hate that you’re six hours away from me. I’m already counting down the days until winter break when we can finally be in each others arms again. Be safe and make good choices. I love you Yoongi.

January 3rd, 2011

Dear Y/N,

I know you just left but I miss you so much already. Your friends seem really nice, but I’m super suspicious of that Namjoon. I’m keeping an eye on him (just kidding…not really though). Before you know it summer break will be here and we can be together again. I love you Y/N.

January 9th, 2011

Dear Yoongi,

Leaving was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I was so warm and comfy in your arms. Summer break can’t come soon enough.

PS. You don’t have to keep an eye on Namjoon. He’s nice and all but you’re then only one I want to be with. I’m more worried about all of those women constantly following you around…I love you Yoongi.

Oh boy you sighed to yourself. If you’d both only known the weight of your words in those letters at the time. The next few letters were thankfully light hearted and sweet. Yoongi made the basketball team. You surprised him by driving all day to make it in time for his first home game. Algebra was once again kicking your ass and Yoongi had a particularly hard time in Organic Chemistry. He got a job at a record store and you worked part time at the campus book store. You spent the summer break together before returning to your respective colleges. All normal and nothing upsetting. Then things quickly went south.

November 8th, 2011

Dear Y/N

I miss you like usual. Sometimes I really think about switching school. I’d give up all that I have here to be with you. I love you Y/N.

January 13th, 2012

Dear Y/N,

Christmas was nice wasn’t it? My mom loves that sweater you got her. She wears it almost every day. My brothers coming to visit for a couple days. It’ll be nice to see him since he couldn’t make it home for Christmas. I hope everything’s good on your end. I love you Y/N.

March 7th, 2012

Dear Y/N

It’s starting to warm up just a little. I’m glad because I hate the cold. The only thing it’s good for is cuddling. I miss seeing your face and kissing you. I know we text and call each other like every day but I miss your letters too. I hope all is well. I heard from your mom that you and Namjoon are working on some huge research project together. I’d love to hear about that sometime. Like maybe when we get together over spring break? I love you Y/N.

March 18th, 2012

Dear Yoongi,

I’m sorry I haven’t been writing as much. Things have just been so crazy that I feel like I have no time to even breathe. I’m so sorry I can’t make it for spring break. You sounded so heartbroken over the phone and it kills me. At least summer break is right around the corner right?! This research project is gonna be the death of me. Tell your brother I said he’s a doofus!! I love you Yoongi.

July 21st, 2012

Dear Y/N,

I’m sorry I had to cancel our summer plans. Coach is just so worried about this upcoming season but I didn’t expect him to hold a mandatory summer camp. I know you said you weren’t crying but I could hear it in your voice m and it’s been killing me ever since. At least we had those few days together. You ready for the next semester? You’re gonna kill it!

August 26th, 2012

Dear Yoongi,

How are your classes so far? I heard you got a job at a record label. I’m sorry if you told me that over the phone. I must’ve missed it. How’s that going? I bet you’re impressing all of them.

November 1st, 2012

Dear Y/N,

It’s getting cold again. I hate it but at least the trees look pretty. I’m sorry I missed your birthday party. I got the invite so last minute and I couldn’t get time away from work. I’m going to make it up to you, I promise. They have me working with this singer, Mia. I’m producing one of her songs. It’s my first solo project. She’s so talented. I think she has the ability to really go places. Anyways, I sent you a gift. I hope it got to you in time.

November 15th, 2012

Dear Yoongi,

I got it. Thank you. It’s a beautiful necklace. It would’ve been nicer to have you there with me though. I’m really proud of you and I can’t wait to hear the song. We’re planning a trip to the mountains. Namjoon’s parents have a cabin up there. Let me know if you’d like to join us. It would be nice to see you.

You took a deep breath trying to forcefully stop tears from falling and ruining your makeup. Yoongi in fact did not join you guys at the cabin. He didn’t even mention it. That was also the worst birthday you had ever had. And you knew his excuse of getting the invite too late was complete bullshit because your best friend told you she sent it to him three months in advance and he agreed to come but then cancelled the night before the surprise party. You never told him that you knew that. You also never told him that you spent that night crying into Namjoons chest. It was that moment that you knew your relationship was changing but you had no idea just how much.

The letters stopped for quite a while after that, for both of you. Truth be told the calls and texts slowed down too. When you pulled the next letter out of the box you took a long deep breath. You had wanted to rip this letter to shreds but you knew that would make you quite the hypocrite given what was written in your own letter beneath it.

May 11th, 2013

Dear Y/N,

I’m sorry I haven’t written in so long. I’m really sorry that there is a disappointing reason for me to write this letter. I’m also sorry that I’m too much of a coward to tell you this myself……I’m so sorry Y/N. I fucked up so bad. There was this girl…Mia. I can’t remember if I’ve ever told you about her. But she’s signed to the record label and we’ve been working together a lot and FUCK…I’m sorry Y/N. We were both drunk and I just miss you so much and one thing lead to another. I know that’s the oldest, sleaziest excuse in the book but it’s true. I regret it so much. She doesn’t mean anything like that to me. I just needed to release some stress and frustration and it just happened. I wasn’t thinking straight. I’m sorry again Y/N. I know I’ve said that like a million times already. I know we can get past this but I also know that if I never hear from you again that it was all my fault and I deserve it and I understand. I love you Y/N.

May 21st, 2013

Dear Yoongi,

Reading that letter did hurt. It hurt for many reasons I guess. But…I have my own confession to make. I kind of cheated on you too. Or I guess I did cheat on you? I made out with Namjoon. I stopped it before it went past kissing and some grinding but I won’t lie and say I didn’t want it to go farther than that. Maybe this long distance thing just isn’t going to work any more. We’ve really grown apart over the last few years and I think our relationship has ran its course. I will always have love for you Yoongi. Take care of yourself and I wish you nothing but success and happiness.

Ripping up those letters crossed your mind even now. Those were moments in your relationship, in your life, that you never wanted to remember again. Ultimately though they were apart of you so you folded them up and set them aside.

Understandably the letters stopped completely after that. You definitely had a few letters stored away in a drawer at home that you wrote but could never bring yourself to send.

And then two years ago you saw a familiar name in your mail box.

October 8th, 2022

Dear Y/N,

Wow it’s been a while since I wrote that…or at least wrote it with the true intention to actually mail the letter. I ran into your mom at the grocery store the other day and she gave me your address. I didn’t ask for it. I promise I won’t be weird and randomly show up one day or something.

I wasn’t even going to write this but my therapist said it would be good for me. I hope things are going well for you. Your mom also mentioned that you were engaged. Congratulations! I hope he’s treating you well. She also said you’re like some big shot at a research organization. That’s really cool. I always knew you’d do something important like that. I hope to hear from you again but I will completely understand if I don’t. No pressure or anything. I miss you Y/N.

You wrote him back. Nothing crazy. Just some info about your job and he told you about the music he was working on. How he got married and unfortunately divorced later the same year which you already knew but you didn’t tell him that. He opened up to you about his mental health concerns and starting therapy and you told him about your struggles as well. The two of you exchanged numbers and talked more that way too. Even after all those years and everything that happened he still felt like home to you.

You stared at the last letter you had written him. You were a mess while writing it. You were questioning your choices, you were exhausted and maybe a little drunk. If you’d known it would be the last letter you ever wrote to him you might’ve been a little more cheerful in your words.

June 16th, 2023

Dear Yoongi

I’m supposed to get married tomorrow but I don’t know if I can…I can’t do it. It just doesn’t feel right and feel like I’m stringing him along and he doesn’t deserve that. I don’t know what to do. I wish you were going to be there, even if you were wearing a stupid blue kangaroo onesie. It would make me feel better...especially if I was in a pink matching one just like we planned. Remember that? You were supposed to be the one I married. My best friend. We promised. But you’re not here. You’re probably in LA right now for your album release party. I hope you’re having the best time. I’m so proud of you and everything that you have achieved. I love you Yoongi.

“Y/N are you ready? He’s waiting outside with the photographer to get your first looks.”, your maid of honor smiled from just outside the door.

“Okay yeah be right there!”, you said quickly shuffling all of the letters back into the little white box.

Standing just outside the double doors trying to calm your nerves you heard your future husband laughing at something the photographer said which helped to bring some sense of comfort to your shaking nerves.

You gave the official okay and the doors were opened allowing you to walk out into the open courtyard.

Your future husband looked up breaking out into a huge gummy smile at the sight of you in a pink kangaroo onesie.

You couldn’t contain your laughter at the sight of him in a matching blue kangaroo onesie, baby kangaroo included.

“Oh my god Yoongi.”, you managed to cough out in between fits of laughter.

“My mom threatened me that if I wore this for the wedding she’d disown me so this was the best I could do.”, he said in between his own fits of laughter, “I’m glad you had the same idea.”

The photographer couldn’t help but smile as she snapped some photos of you before you quickly changed into your actual dress and Yoongi into his tux so she could get some photos that your mothers wouldn’t complain about.

“Five minutes til show time.”, the wedding planner announced.

“I’ve got to go get in place but I wanted you to have this.”, Yoongi said handing you a folded piece of paper before walking away.

You scoffed irritated because you could already feel tears begin to threaten your makeup artists hard work as you read,

August 15, 2024

Dear Lovely Wife,

We have come so far haven’t we? I never would’ve thought that the random letter I was forced to write in the fifth grade would lead me here but I’m glad that it did. I know we’ve made mistakes and have done things we wish we could change but we have been able to move forward from that and I promise to never hurt you in any way ever again. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life as your husband. I love you more than I can really write into words.

PS. I’m definitely bringing the kangaroo onesie on the honeymoon. I have some ideas that may or may not also involve binoculars, rope, and a suspiciously fluffy pair of handcuffs…

[rose-tries-to-write]

Things I’ve learned about Danny Phantom after finally watching it as a person who avoided watching it for months and read fanfiction instead. 👍🏻✨

Spoiler warning, just in case!

They call themselves the Phandom. (Super cute, I love it, 10/10)

Everything, and I mean Absolutely Everything I’ve learned, is a fucking Lie. (Not fun. I have to rewrite my entire understanding. I feel betrayed. Offended. Gobsmacked. My flabbers are mf gasted. -5/10)

The show is actually really funny. (I enjoyed my experience. 9/10)

Fuck Phantom Planet. (What the fuck was that shit? Um, rewind, redo, no thx, give me back the ghostie boy please. I genuinely didn’t even finish the episode, I got to where he un-died and had to turn it off. I refuse to watch it now. 0/10)

The Phandom was right to steal canon and make it our bitch. (Trans Danny? More Dani/Ellie screen time? Actual plot and lore for the show? Actual in-depth thought to ghosts and their culture? Um, yes please. 1000/10)

Frostbite actually is a doctor. (I don’t know why, but I thought it was another thing the Phandom made up. Love to see it, 10/10)

Wes Weston deserves his own episode. (What do you mean he doesn’t actually exist. What do you mean I don’t get my LGBTQ+ undertones. This is homophobic /j. -10/10)

How do you tell when a ghost is intangible, invisible, or both?? (The show doesn’t have a differentiator between the two, so I’m always confused if people can just see him floating through walls. 3/10)

Guys in White literally do nothing but be annoying. (Another case of the Phandom Lying to us. I love it though, they make really good antagonists. 7/10)

The Fentons are stupid and mildly aggressive, but they do love their kids. (I read a lot of vivisection, child neglect, and general Bad Parents fics so excuse me on that front. 8/10)

Danny didn’t actually beat Pariah Dark? (I love the Ghost King Danny fics, so to find out all he did was shove him into a sarcophagus was a bit of a bummer. He struggles more with Undergrowth than the actual king, like?? 6/10)

He can reach inside himself to take things out. (He ate a spoon in one ep and just reached inside himself to take it out. Pretty cool. 9/10)

Is he actually dead? (Phantom Planet makes it seem as if he just got a bit too high a dose of ectoplasm in his system and it fucked him up, how else could he have just undone the damage? But, most of the Phandom says he legit died in the portal, in which case he could not have gone in and just un-killed himself like he did in Phantom Planet. I think he died, personally. More trauma and angst for my writing. ??/10)

Clockwork appears a lot less than I thought he would. So does Frostbite. (I thought with how much they appear in the Phandom, they must have really important and constant roles, but no. They appear very rarely. Sad face. 5/10)

Vlad sucks. (Vlad fucking sucks. 0/10)

Dani/Ellie is much younger in appearance than I thought. (I looked her up for reference when I first started reading the fics, but she looked 14-15. She actually looks 6-7 years old in show. They literally call her a kid. 8/10)

Dani is what she chose to be called, not a funny joke the Phandom played on itself. (I though it was a silly little haha moment. Nope. The show just… named her that. I think Ellie is the Phandoms choice in calling her?? 8/10)

Why is Danny obsessed with Paulina even while crushing on Sam? (He is actively blushing and flirting with Sam and then they’ll turn around and he’s jumping at the chance to talk to Paulina?? Hate it. 0/10)

Danny and Dash don’t actually date. (I saw this circle around the Phandom a bit, thought it was cute if a bit weird, and then it didn’t happen? 6/10)

No obsessions, no cores, no real reason for the ghosts to be terrorizing Amity Park. (I legit thought it was real in-verse stuff, I’m so disappointed in the lack of it in the show. It could have been so good. 3/10)

Danny doesn’t actually become friends with his ghosts. (They don’t really get along, ever. They don’t talk outside of fighting, except for those who actually like him. Missed opportunity. 4/10)

His Space obsession is actually just a few mentions of him wanting to be an astronaut? (I thought he genuinely had an obsession with the stars and we’d see a lot of him stargazing or word-vomiting about his hyper fixation, but no. Sad. 4/10)

He does go stargazing (maybe?) and flies around when he’s not fighting. (We see him going off as Phantom in the episode where Jazz finds out about him. There are no battles and he looks like he’s having fun flying around. 10/10)

He was called Inviso-Bill?? (Hilarious, I love it, why did no one ever tell me this. 7/10)

He says “Going Ghost!” every time he transforms. Every fucking time. (It’s annoying, it’s ugly, I hate it. I am so glad no fics mentioned this or used it, I think I’d go insane. -1000/10)

That’s all I got for today, and probably for a while. I just wanted to write it down for fun, but I might post more like this eventually.

[misspermitted]

Random Vampire Diaries discourse but I’ve been thinking about Bonnie and Kai and why they interest me so much. Because usually TVD’s sexually charged “he’s a terrible person but he’s infatuated with you” thing doesn’t interest me. Like I enjoy watching Klaroline and Delena as a guilty pleasure, but it doesn’t interest me. He’s just obsessed with her, and she eventually brings out the good in him, yada yada the messed up toxic guy brings out her dark side yada yada, she realises her power and so on. And I just don’t really care. I just watch it, and then I move on. I don’t linger on it for days and think about the characters.

But this random Bonnie and Kai thing that went on for 10 episodes, for some reason every so often I just think about them for days on end. And I reckon it’s because what the actors were setting up with them was really unique and not that trope. But then, since TVD is really badly written, after the prison arc they tried to turn it into the “guy is infatuated and redeems for her” and Chris Wood (who plays Kai) legitimately refuses to act that (which, like, good on him). So then they dropped the Bonnie/Kai storyline and just made him a villain.

But what were they then? At least originally? Because every time I get obsessed with these characters I go into fanon and it ruins my obsession, because it’s just that whole “evil guy is infatuated” thing all over again and it just doesn’t feel like them.

So let’s go through my reading of the Bonnie/Kai prison arc:

For me, what originally caught my attention about these two was that I thought Bonnie was the actually obsessed one. At least at first.

How Bonnie acts during their first scenes together

Bonnie spends seasons without her magic and this random guy shows up and gets under her skin so much she actually unlocks it? What? And the reason given is that she needed to save Damon but the spirits had straight up taken her magic. Her friends have been in life and death situations for ages and she couldn’t do anything about it to the point where she takes on dark magic. Clearly it is not just a desire to save her friends that unlocks it. And her becoming anchor does not change the fact that it had been confiscated. Forever. Who is this random guy that got her to unlock it by just taunting her?

And then she spends the whole first few conversations legitimately flirting back with this guy. Who just tried to kill her friend. When Bonnie doesn’t flirt with people. Like we have never seen Bonnie (until now, no bonenzo erasure) actually be interested in any villain ever. She typically just glares at them.

And that’s something that gets me about their dynamic. Bonnie acts so different around Kai than she does with anyone else. When Bonnie has dealt with evil sociopaths before. This guy is not new.

Bonnie tries to kill Kai (the first time)

What does Bonnie do when dealing with evil vampires or evil warlocks? Usually shes the one who is the voice of reason. With the plan. Who comes in at the end and saves everyone. Not Kai. She straight up throws an axe at him. On a hunch. When he actually hasn’t done anything that bad.

Bonnie doesn’t kill people a lot before this point. Unless she thinks it’s necessary. And they have to have done something really bad and she actually seems upset afterwards. But not Kai. Literally all he does is threaten them a little, offer to be friends, and kill his family 20 years before. Which is incredibly low stakes given the other stuff people do in TVD. Why does he get under her skin so much?

It’s so weird to me that she’s so against letting him out. I mean Bonnie is stubborn and has a strong sense of justice, but she also does bad stuff for the greater good. It’s far more like her to let him out for the greater good of getting them both out, and then stop him. But she’s not actually being reasonable.

Even Damon calls her on it. How she’s acting more impulsive and negative than he is. Just because Kai exists. It’s a level of caring and irritation that we don’t actually see from Bonnie a lot, who is usually cool and collected and strong.

How Kai acts in most of the prison world arc together

Kai meanwhile acts towards her how he later acts towards Elena. Flirty and off putting. Though he does later seem to realise that Bonnie is legitimately impressive and useful in a way that he decides Elena isn’t (which is just factually true). But Kai (in the first half) is a sociopath who uses people for his own benefit, and that is exactly how he treats Bonnie.

Especially later, after Damon is gone, he tries to play the sympathy card so many times and the “you’re different” tactic, but it’s all a lie and Bonnie is aware of it. And this it the other thing that I love about their dynamic, Bonnie is clearly very diverted and unsettled by this guy, but she is not an idiot. She has watched Caroline and Elena both fall for bad boys saying that they'll "change" for them. And she has spent the whole time saying they're being incredibly stupid. And she doesn’t turn from that awareness.

In my opinion, that’s the first thing that makes Kai act differently around her, the realisation that she is not gonna fall for any of that. He waits four months to manipulate them, and then suddenly is really impatient about when to do the spell? Why? And I think it’s because he realises that he’s not gonna get her to agree for long. She’s too observant. She figured out who he was so goddamn quickly. And she’s only gonna be scared for so long.

Kai takes her to his house

It’s so weird for Kai to take her to his house. He knew how to get out. He could’ve just left her. And it would’ve been less risky, since it’s clear at this point that he treats her as a danger.

Like he could just kill her. It would be safer to kill her. Bur he doesn’t. He brings her to his house. To gloat? He never seems interested in doing that before now. He’s cool for them to view him as irritating or a child or something to be scared of, depends on what’s useful. You don’t even see him gloat to Jo.

And this actually makes sense. Kai doesn’t care. Why would he need to gloat. He has a goal and he just needs to achieve it. Once he achieves it his revenge will be done and he will have won. He doesn’t have to villain monologue. He won. That’s satisfying enough.

In my opinion this is where Kai stops acting normal towards Bonnie. Like she’s just something to use for his goal. Or, rather, his goal changes.

Kai says he brings Bonnie to his house because he’s never had someone to share it with before. I feel like he might actually be telling the truth here, because it’s the only thing that makes sense.

Kai tries to manipulate Bonnie the day before wearing all his possible masks. An abomination making her scared and powerless. A misunderstood monster playing on sympathy, flattering her and saying he wants to be like her. And he believes it works. But it doesn’t. Bonnie not only outsmarts him, she outsmarts him and mocks the masks he wore. She take his manipulative bear that is supposed to be his attempts at fake kindness, and literally sends it away. He spends the whole first half of the day repeatedly trying to scare her and make her feel powerless, and her counter plan is all about how she is not powerless at all. He’s not in control. He needs her magic. And that’s hers. She controls it. And now it’s not here anymore. You’re welcome 😇

And while this is incredibly iconic of Bonnie, and irritating for him, it also means Bonnie sees past all those masks. For a guy who’s clearly used to pretending. For a guy who was always seen as an abomination even when he wasn’t. It clearly interests him that she actually just doesn’t see him as a monster, at least in any superficial way that he can use. Bonnie Bennet knew him well enough to know that he was lying.

So Kai brings Bonnie to the place where all of his memories are. Where he grew up. Where he killed his family and the blood is still there. And it’s clearly not to gain her trust through being misunderstood (the blood is still there, and he shows absolutely no attempt at remorse). And he is legitimately cordial and doesn’t restrain her, so he’s not purposefully trying to make her powerless or scared. So what’s his angle?

This is the thing, where Kai acts different as well. He shows resentment about his upbringing when he mentions it, not sadness or any pity based emotions. He babbles and cooks because he (as we learn) likes cooking. Bonnie later interprets it as him trying to gain her trust just to betray her out of sadism, but 1. Kai isn’t actually a sadist. Kai likes control, and can get angry and violent. He doesn’t care if he’s stabbing someone or not. We see it as he gets out, violence and manipulation is a means to an end. Always. And there is no end aside from revenge for him to try to betray Bonnie. Especially because Bonnie has been very clear that she will not trust him.

Then there’s the fact that he is not, as we’ve addressed, actually doing anything that would lead to trust. None of the previous masks. He’s actually being very open and generally having dinner with a psycho in the house covered in blood stains from when he killed children is not a trust building exercise. (Honestly, kind of weird that she thinks it was supposed to be. What, were you actually warming up to him during that dinner? A little suspicious Bonnie.)

But if, instead, Kai is doing all this to share himself with Bonnie. To be seen. He’s so irritated when she doesn’t understand: “Can’t you see I’m trying to apologise?” And then she very clearly states that she is not interested in spending any time with him, seeing anything, sharing anything, aside from the last dinner.

And we wonder why he puts it off, if his entire plan is just to stab her, leave, and gloat with a pager. Why does he drag the dinner longer than necessary? He’s about to leave, he’s been impatient to leave this entire time, but he actually puts it off. There is no reason to. He’s about to be around so many people to communicate with, but he wants to spend as much time with Bonnie as possible. Why??

And if the ascendant can only be used in the Mystic Falls tunnels, and he flies all the way to Portland, and it’s getting dark when he grabs the knife in the tree stump, then he puts off his return for an entire day. Just to eat spaghetti. Really slowly.

It only makes sense if he’s there specifically because his goal is to hang out with her. He wants to share. She pretty much acknowledges this and says she will never, ever care or like him. Stop trying to share with her. Leave her alone. Which, if he’s this excited about being seen, would be infuriating for him.

How Bonnie acts after he leaves

What really got me about the whole arc, though, is how Bonnie talks about what happens. Because that really shows how weird these two are.

Bonnie is furious with Kai and when she’s explaining what she went through to Damon, and doesn’t emphasise the stabbing or the manipulation as the worst part, but that Kai left her. All alone. He abandoned her.

Which is crazy, because that is so intimate for a complaint. But that is what she holds on to. Damon didn’t abandon her, even though he did. Her friends didn’t abandon her, even though they did. This random sociopathic guy abandoned her. Bonnie has the opposite of an abandonment complex, she is constantly overlooked and left and never gets mad about it, except this one time. With Kai. Who there shouldn’t have even been expectations about.

But it’s clear they were both aware there was. Despite Kai promising to leave her alone after a last dinner, his message isn’t “have fun” or something like that, it’s “I lied.” But he didn’t lie? He left her alone?

It’s like they were both aware that he was sharing and there was an expectation there. Where she would say she wanted to be left alone but he wouldn’t do it anyway, and she would keep paying attention anyway. That they were gonna play the “follow you around” intimacy game. Except Kai is like, woops jokes on you I can get out and I’m not taking you with me. Even though it was a given that I was gonna try to win you over, for fun. I know the hell I just condemned you to, enjoy.

Post Kai getting emotions (sort of)

And this reading gives an entirely new light to their first interactions post Kai getting emotions and how furious she is that he is trying to get her attention. Because fuck off, I gave you my attention and you left me. We’re not doing that again. You get nothing from me.

And also why he can’t stop thinking about her. Let’s be honest, the “I want to be forgiven” is bullshit. It’s far more, “I’m a new me and I want to be seen.” And Bonnie just refuses to. Not this time. I will not understand Kai as more than a monster. He doesn’t deserve that from me.

Kai asks her to spend the afternoon with her and she says no. Fuck you. You don’t get me to willingly walk into your house again. Fuck off.

It’s just so weird and personal especially to Bonnie. Like this is where I think they were getting Bonkai wrong. Kai is always shown as so unbelievably obsessed with her, but he doesn’t really think about her until she gets back. And it’s with the same weird determination that Kai gets about all goals.

It’s Bonnie who is so out of character. Despite all the stuff she’s been through and abuse she’s suffered, it’s Kai somehow that changes her. And makes her more emotional. Bonnie is the one that is weirdly touchy about it all and structures her life around (not) seeing him. Bonnie is the one that’s unreasonable about her reactions to him.

And it was so fun seeing a female character, especially the “saviour” female character, be so concerningly “enemies to lovers” obsessive over a guy, and the guy being so oblivious to it. Like it’s funny seeing all of Bonnie’s friends go “maybe you should chill out about Kai” and her just go “NO.” Meanwhile Kai’s just over here like “so Bonnie can see through everyone including me, so if I can convince her there’s a new me, that’s confirmation that I’ve changed 😊 Ah she’s so pretty I wish she’d stop trying to kill me. But Bonnie’s just like that I guess.” But she’s not. She’s not like that at all!!

I wish they’d explored it more but at the same time, if Julie Plec was gonna fuck it up then I’m okay with them going the villain route.