#i’ve been saying he has seb vibes!

[sebnameyourcar]

YES

[disneyprincemuke]

mrs all american * fem!driver

who is that guy in the andretti racing garage?

pairings: bother figures x fem!driver, 4lyfers x fem!driver

notes: if u think u've read this before, u probably have but like,,,,,,,,,,,,, i rewrote the entire thing to fit the new vibe so hey lol

(series masterlist) | (📂 the sophomore year)

“there she is,” oscar mutters, pushing himself off the wall he’d been leaning on. “we’ve been looking for you all weekend. you’re barely around.”

the girl in her team gear, stops immediately with wide eyes and turns to her friends. “what? oh, hi.”

logan furrows his eyebrows, tilting his head. “where have you been? you’ve been so unreachable since you arrived in vegas. is everything okay?”

she tilts her head, looking curiously between her two best friends. “what do you mean? i’ve been here all weekend. maybe you guys just haven’t done enough to find me.”

she knows exactly what they’re talking about. the entire weekend, she’s been camping out in her driver’s room avoiding everyone else. for good reason: her boyfriend’s finally had the time to come out and watch a race.

not only that, she’s finally decided to just rip the bandaid off and introduce him to everyone with his consent, of course. she’d been hiding him from everyone, afraid that they might scare him off too quick with their antics and borderline insane behaviour.

logan throws his head back. “you’re being kinda weird. is somebody threatening you with something again?”

“you’re being weird,” she mutters, looking towards the andretti racing home. “i’ve just been really busy this weekend. lots of stuff for me to do and go over with sebastian.”

oscar hums, tapping a finger on his lip. “but i’ve seen liam more than you.”

“it’s just sebastian and i. racing strategies and whatnot and telling me what else i need to fix with my driving,” she shrugs. it should really be concerning that lying to them has become a common occurrence lately and it’s slowly becoming easier. but it should also be concerning that they hadn’t noticed up until this weekend the increased secrecy from her side.

though, it shouldn’t be all that shocking that they’re starting to know less and less about one another’s lives. logan has moved out, after all.

“you’re sure you’re alright?” oscar tilts his head, furrowing his eyebrows in concern. “are we still going out tonight?”

“yeah, of course!” she nods a little too eagerly that she doesn’t notice logan and oscar exchange a look. “i was just busy leading up to the race. i swear i’m fine, guys.”

oscar hums. “alright. we’ll see you later for the parade.”

she takes a step back at the group of older drivers gathered outside her racing home. “what are you guys doing here?”

“p wouldn’t stop saying something about seeing a guy she’s seen on the tv in your garage earlier when she passed it,” max mutters without turning his head to look at her, just continues to crane his neck to try and make out the faces through the windows looking into the hospitality.

she tilts her head and furrows her eyebrows. “what?”

“yeah, she told me too,” lando says, mirroring max’s actions. he tilts his head before turning around. he stands a little straighter and points at her. “we asked liam and he didn’t know who the andretti guest is. you don’t know anything about that, do you?”

she chews on the inside of her cheek. “i don’t recall having a big name guest in our side of the paddocks today.”

“really?” max turns, furrowing his eyebrows. “at all? don’t you usually know stuff?”

she shrugs and starts to walk towards the stairs leading to the main doors. “not this weekend, no. i’ve been pretty busy with my own stuff.”

lando hums and rests his hands on his hips, following her towards the door. “really? you’re not lying to us? this is important to p — you love her. just tell us who it is.”

she holds her hands in the air and laughs, turning around right before she walks in. “i’ve literally got no idea who they decided to bring in. you might have better luck with seb.”

max shakes his head, lips pursed in frustration. “we already tried asking him earlier. he doesn’t seem to know who the guest is either… how is it possible that none of you know?”

“i haven’t really paid much attention, really,” she lies with another shrug before turning on her heel. “i’ll see you guys later. save me a spot with you guys on the wee truck, okay?”

“open the door!”

she flinches from her spot on the beanbag, jumping off as she looks at the man previously cozied up with her. “that’s my teammate,” she whispers at him. “what do i do?”

matt throws his hands in the air. “why are you asking me that? like you said — it’s your teammate.”

“i have to open the door. what am i going to do?”

“well, you invited me so i could meet your friends. what’s the harm in meeting liam before the race?”

she contemplates for a second, looking up at the ceiling momentarily. “you don’t know these twats like i do, if i tell them about you now, i’ll never hear the end of it.”

he hums, scrunching his nose. “so what do you wanna do now? he’s at the door.”

“open the door, mate!” liam’s voice comes from the other side, the door rattling slightly as he knocks again. “i know you’re inside.”

“give me a fucking minute!” she screams, hurling a packet of maltesers next to her on the ground towards the door. “be patient!” she looks back at matt. “i need you to hide behind the door for now. i promise you’ll get to meet my insane teammate and friends after the race. just not now.”

he laughs, letting her pull him up from the beanbag, dragging him behind the door would wind up after she opens it. “okay, well be careful not to give too much away.”

she opens the door and fixes her hair, sighing exasperatedly. “what do you want?”

“seb said he’s been texting you to come down. they want to have one last team meeting before the driver’s parade,” liam rambles. “and what took you so long to answer the door?”

she blinks blankly at him, trying to take her brain for a believable lie. “i was finding my clothes.”

“clothes… what would… what?”

she hums, nodding. “i was naked. sorry.”

liam throws his head back with a groan. “okay, i’m sorry i bothered asking.” he turns around and takes a step towards the stairs, “seb wants you downstairs as soon as possible. i’ll see you in a bit.”

she closes the door when liam takes a step on the stairs, turning to her side and sighing heavily. she hunches over and shakes her head. “i literally hate all of them.”

“don’t be like that,” he laughs, pinching her cheek gently. “i’ll see you later, okay? before your race starts?”

she grins. “okay. blythe should be here any minute with ylona and lily then you guys can go explore the circuit again while i’m busy.” he nods, leaning down with puckered lips. she gets on her tiptoes, pressing her lips against his before opening the door again. “see ya.”

“are you hiding someone from me?” the girl, who’s just walked into the pitlane to head to the grid for the driver’s parade takes a step back with a clueless blink. “max keeps pestering me about the guest for tonight. something about p recognising the guy?”

she shrugs, eyebrows furrowed. “why do you just assume i always know more than you?”

liam shrugs as well, frowning. “i don’t know. everyone’s just always asking about our guest today,” liam says with a frown.

realistically, she feels bad lying straight through her teeth to everyone. but she doesn’t need anyone messing with her when the truth happens to come out before the race starts. it’s just not something she thinks she needs.

besides, everybody will find out after the race. she will just explain herself then.

“i’ve got no idea what’s going on with our garage today,” she takes a sip from her pepsi, blinking at liam innocently. “guess we’ll find out later?”

“find what out?” oscar tilts his head as they come to a stop right by him and lando, waiting for the truck to start their lap around the track.

“why max and lando keep lingering outside our racing home today,” liam frowns. “i’m not the centre of attention and it’s simply absurd.”

lando sighs, shaking his head. “i know. i was at your side of the paddocks more than i’ve been at my own.”

she shrugs with a small grin. “someone kinda famous, i guess. according to p, at least.”

“it’s not jacob elordi again, is it?” carlos pokes his head between lando’s and hers, furrowing his eyebrows. he turns to her, met with an unamused stare and head tilt. he shrugs. “just curious. who knows if you’re seeing him again?”

she looks around their huddle, suddenly greeted by curious stares and raised eyebrows. she throws her arms in the air and shakes her head. “i’m not seeing jacob again! i haven’t seen him since the miami race last year! please let it go!”

alex narrows his eyes down with a small smirk. “you sound like you know something about andretti’s special guest.”

“you liar!” liam screams.

“i don’t!” she turns to liam with her arms in the air. she turns to alex and scowls. “why are you stirring drama? i don’t know anything about who andretti’s decided to give their stupid pass to this weekend, okay?”

alex hums, pressing his lips together. “that’s not what logan told me.”

“why would logan know anything about andretti’s guest this weekend? i’ve barely seen him.”

he shrugs, “i really thought that would break you.”

“nice try,” oscar sighs, shaking his head. “you really don’t know anything?”

she shakes her head. “i really don’t. now can we please talk about something else?”

liam had been walking out of his driver’s room, on his way down for the race start when he heard two voices coming from the room next to him. normally, it would have been okay, considering he knew blythe would be around tonight.

but it’s a man’s voice, which makes it all the more intriguing.

“don’t forget to watch the purple car — i’m in the andretti, okay? not the red bull, not the ferrari or the bright papaya that’s the mclaren,” he hears her say. “you’re here to watch me.”

liam furrows his eyebrows, stepping towards the door with light feet to minimise the sounds to reduce suspicion. he presses his ear against the door.

“i don’t even know what a ferrari is.”

he hears her laugh, followed by footsteps approaching the door. “i’ll see you later, malt. love you.”

the door clicks, prompting liam to hurl himself towards the stairs leading downstairs, stumbling and sliding down a couple of steps. liam pulls himself up with the railing, trying to ignore the way he can hear the confusion as the door closes.

“what are you doing?”

liam hops up to his feet, one of his foot sliding off at the edge of the steps. he coughs to cover it up and shakes his head. “i’m just super excited to be racing in vegas.”

she tilts her head and furrows her eyebrows. “are you sure? is something wrong?”

he shakes his head. “nope. nothing.”

perhaps she will break the news to him after the race? he doesn’t think he’s ever heard her say that phrase to anyone, much less know anyone called ‘malt’. what even is that name? did somebody actually name their kid malt?

“you don’t have anything to ask me?” she bites down on her lip, trying to keep the laugh in.

truthfully, she had heard the door rattle a couple of times and assumed that liam was being nosey outside her driver’s room. she’s more surprised that her teammate is not probing her for a more defined answer other than a shrug.

“i guess,” liam shrugs dejectedly.

he just wants her to tell him instead of having to ask her outright.

“alright, mate,” she laughs, furrowing her eyebrows. “by the way, you’re coming for ice cream tonight, right? i’ve got someone i want you to meet.”

that’s another race she finishes on the podium, on the bottom step behind checo and max. it’s absolutely nothing to do with the fact that she’s got a special guest in her garage watching, the car was just good.

she knows that because liam’s finished directly behind her. she would have given him the podium if sebastian hadn’t insisted that there’s no driver swap necessary and that it would only be riskier to do so.

she climbs out of the car, eyes crinkled towards the team gathered behind the barriers for her. she tears all of her headgear off and immediately runs forward to where her team is gathered.

“amazing!” sebastian screams, arms wide open as she starts to approach them. “good job, kid!”

she screeches, hopping over to where they are with her fists in the air. “i did it! i literally love vegas! year after year, all vegas does is give me is bangers!”

she jumps into sebastian’s arms, cheering along with her team of mechanics with their arms wrapped around her as well. “yay! another podium for me!”

she pulls away and pushes her hair away from her face and sighs. she looks around the crowd. “where’s blythe and matt? did you not bring them over?”

sebastian grins with a shrug. “they’re in the back of the crowd — blythe said she wasn’t sure if you wanted to be seen with him right now so they’re lingering somewhere back there.”

she sighs and grabs sebastian’s shoulders, nodding. “could you get them here to the front?” from the corner of her eye, she sees liam approaching her. “i’ll get back to you.”

“hey, congrats!” liam cheers, throwing himself around her and holds her tightly against him. “i know you had somebody in your room earlier and i know damn well it wasn’t blythe.”

“i know. you rattled the door with all your moving,” she whispers her answer before bubbling into a laugh. she drops her head slightly as a blush slowly creeps up her cheeks. “i’m seeing somebody.”

“i also know that,” liam grins, a hand still on the small of her back. “do i get to meet him?”

“obviously. do you know how difficult it’s been to keep him out of everyone’s sight all day?” she snorts, rolling her eyes. “i promise you’ll get to meet him.”

“hey, rocky!” she whirls back towards the crowd and shrieks at the sight of her sister, then matt standing behind her. “congratulations on the podium, mate!”

“blythe! thank you!” she hops over once more, arms held out and immediately engulfed into a hug by her younger sister. “thank you so much for coming. i know you have a tournament in a couple of days.”

blythe shrugs, grinning cheekily at her. “well, you did pay for my flight… so anything for you.”

the young girl quickly takes whatever she can of a step back and gestures for matt to take a step forward. “hey, congrats! if i didn’t know any better, i’d have said you made it on the podium to make sure everyone knew i had such an amazing girlfriend.”

she rolls her eyes, hitting him in the chest softly. “shut up,” she snorts with an eye roll before she takes a step forward to pull him in for a hug. “thank you for coming and staying all weekend to watch my race.”

“obviously, how could i not take up the chance on your paddock passes?” he whispers in her ear, pulling away. he pinches her cheeks and pulls very lightly, leaning down to mush their lips together. “thanks again, by the way.”

she giggles, cheeks flushing as she tries to ignore the flashes rapidly going off around them. “how can i not?”

“oh.” liam walks up to them and leans on the railing, looking between them. “how rude — you’re not going to introduce your teammate at all to the man you’re kissing?”

she turns around. “i have an interview to do. i’ll introduce you guys later,” she scoffs, smiling apologetically at matt before shoving liam away. she looks back over her shoulder. “i’ll be with you later again i promise.”

she doesn’t notice the dutchman awaiting his interview, eyes wide and jaw dropped at what he had just witnessed happen towards the andretti side of the area. what a revelation.

“what do we have here?” she flinches as she opens the door, taken aback by the taller man — men — who stand in the porch of the racing home with arms over their chests. matt huffs when she walks right into his body, stumbling slightly and hands coming up to grab her shoulder firmly. “i saw you kissing a man after the race.”

she lifts an eyebrow. “okay? indeed i was.”

max tilts his head with a small grin, pushing her aside. the girl stumbles over her feet, matt nervously trying to steady her by reaching out to grab her arm. max holds his hand out. “i’m max. i can fight.”

“max!” she shrieks, pushing max’s arm away before it can be grabbed cordially. “what is wrong with you? that’s not how you introduce yourself!”

but as she’s preoccupied with max, to her horror, she’s turned back around and the other 3 have already surrounded the poor boy with furrowed eyebrows and questions spilling past their lips.

who are you, where do you live, what are your intentions with rocky, how long have you known her, who even are you? and this is exactly why she hesitated even bringing him to the race to watch her.

“hey, what are you doing? stop doing that!” she cries, running back around to try and shoo off alex, george and lando who have well invaded her boyfriend’s personal space. before she can take 3 steps away, max grabs her shoulder and yanks her back toward him to hold her in place. “you guys are embarrassing me! you’re worse than my siblings!”

“oh, you’ve met her siblings!” alex cheers for a moment before wiping the smile from his face. “so? what are they gonna do to protect you? they’re so much younger.”

“hey! those are my sisters and brother you’re talking about!”

“ah, you get what i mean,” alex waves her off, snorting softly. he returns his attention to the boy with a small amused grin. “so? you plan on answering our questions, mate? we’ll be here all night if you don’t.”

the brunette grins, green eyes piercing into their own. “i’m matt cornett. i’m an actor,” he points shyly at her, held hostage by max, “she’s my girlfriend.”

“girlfriend?” lando screams incredulously, throwing his head back in disbelief. he turns to the girl and points at matt. “you found yourself a boyfriend? did you use our advice?”

she stares at them, blinking with a toothy and fearful grin. “why… would i use your shit advice?”

“why wouldn’t you?” alex furrows his eyebrows with a small scowl on his face. “you’re so bad at dating — how did you–”

“don’t you look a little familiar?” george starts softly, pointing at matt with squinted eyes. “have we met?”

“last year in vegas at the club when you dragged me out and i was the designated driver,” she mumbles, rolling her eyes. “we met out in the balcony while i tried to escape the horrors of the drunk people downstairs before logan came and pulled me out to go home.”

alex turns to her stiffly with a finger pointed at her. “we weren’t talking to you.”

she raises her eyebrows. “okay, sorry i tried speaking to you. i thought we were friends.”

“we’re getting to know him. we already know enough about you,” lando adds on, waving his hand in the air to dismiss her. “how long have you guys been dating?”

“5… almost 6 months?” matt blinks, smiling slightly to mask the fear he’s slightly feeling.

“ah,” alex nods. “where’d you go take her on a date? better be a nice place — that’s the princess of the grid you’re with. we protect her. i don’t care what her parents said to you.”

“it’s true. i almost beat somebody up in some alley last year for her,” max boasts with a proud smile and his chest puffed out. “even almost sued the crap out him. i would’ve ruined that man’s life if she asked me to.”

max feels the girl patting his shoulder. “not a flex, max… stop talking.”

“we went out to this really nice place in miami,” matt starts explaining softly, choosing his words carefully. “then we went out for ice cream afterwards.”

lando hums, pressing his lips together. he squints and takes a step forward closer to matt. “what’s her ice cream order?”

“rocky road ice cream with extra marshmallows.”

george shrugs. “if he knows that already, seems like we shouldn’t be here anymore,” george turns. “see you around, mate.”

a hand forcefully turns george back to face matt. “we’re not done yet, george. stay here.”

“oh, i didn’t know you were all already here!” oscar laughs, heads turning towards the bottom of the stairs leading up the andretti racing home. “heard you were kissing a boy after the race, mate. had to come and find out what that was all about.”

she sighs, throwing her head back. “yes, there’s even photographic evidence circulating the f1 gossip pages if you look deep enough,” she answers in a deep tone to mimic oscar, “it doesn’t take a genius.”

she gestures towards matt. “my boyfriend. his name is matt.”

oscar grins. “oh, hey. what’s up, mate?”

matt opens his mouth to greet oscar and introduce himself, only to find himself cut off by max speaking out.

“have you made her cry?” max asks with wide eyes. “because one tear is every punch i get to throw without you running off to the media crying about it.”

“max–“

“oh, hey matt!” lily greets sweetly, finding her spot next to oscar on the porch, tangling herself into oscar’s arms. “did you manage to grab dinner with mick and blythe earlier? sorry i had to run.”

silence hangs in the air as lily finishes her sentence, heads turning to her with suspense. she looks around and blinks. “what?”

“you knew about matt?” oscar mutters, staring down at her blankly. “you never told me?”

lily shrugs with a polite smile. “wasn’t my relationship to hardlaunch.”

oscar shrugs, “i guess.”

only then does liam arrive with logan and ylona in tow. logan tilts his head in curiousity at the crowd that’s formed, and at the fact that his girlfriend’s just slipped out of his arms to run up the steps.

“rocky! congrats on the podium tonight!” ylona squeaks, throwing her arms around the younger girl. then she turns around with a wide smile. “sorry i couldn’t join you and blythe for dinner. lily and i had to find a bar to book a table with tonight for after the race.”

“you knew rocky’s dating matt too?” oscar almost shouts, absolutely bewildering at the vital information that seemed to be kept from them.

“rocky’s dating–“ logan finally looks past the crowd and finds the man surrounded by lando, george and alex. “didn’t we meet before? you look familiar.”

the brunette nods. “a club here in vegas this time last year.”

“wait a second,” liam puts a finger over his lip, “didn’t i meet you in new york? i took a picture of you guys, didn’t i? with rocky’s polaroid.”

matt nods again, eyes dropping to avoid the stares. “yes. i have that picture in my wallet still.”

“wait,” logan shakes his head. “you’ve met more than once in clubs?”

“well, you guys kept pulling me away rudely so we didn’t like… exchange socials until we ran into each other again in miami after my race win,” she explains softly.

logan then realises. “ylona, you knew about rocky’s boyfriend and you didn’t tell me?”

ylona shrugs, giving the same answer as lily. “not my relationship to yap about.”

max huffs. “so? what now? we just have to accept the fact you’ve got a boyfriend?”

“yes?” she cries with her arms in the air. “you guys are being so weird right now!”

— bonus

“foul,” logan mutters, shaking his head disapprovingly. “i can’t believe you didn’t tell me she has a boyfriend. when it’s rocky and a potential boyfriend, you tell us.”

lily shakes her head, poking her head out to look over at ylona. “you don’t have to. they’re just protective.”

ylona nods, pressing her lips together. “well, we met matt, you see. he’s a decent guy — didn’t seem like you guys had to run any more background checks on him than we already did.”

“nice,” oscar giggles, high fiving lily.

he looks ahead at the group walking down the strip to get ice cream first before heading to the club, her arms wrapped around matt’s as they walked and chatted with george.

“well, she does look happy,” oscar mutters. “i was afraid she was gonna end up and old maid with 20 cats in her home.”

logan scoffs. “she’s gonna end up with 20 cats regardless.”

taglist: @wcnorris @treehouse-mouse @laura-naruto-fan1998 @mindless-rock @vellicora @leilanixx @ironmaiden1313 @angsthology @cherry-piee @christianpulisic10 @elliegrey2803 @33-81 @darleneslane @nikfigueiredo @happy-nico @namgification @localwhoore @notawc @sadg3 @kazuha-pista-badam @mellowarcadefun @megatrilss1885 @peqch-pie @woozarts @meadhbhcavanagh @2bormaybenot @a-disturbing-self-reflection @inejismywife @love4lando @louvrepool

[f0point5]

The thing with the Daniel and comeback to Red Bull:

Christian Horner, when he loves a driver, he’s going to go to bat for them and support them. And so far I’ve seen him do that for Max, Daniel, and Sebastian. He offered Seb a place to come back to when the whole Ferrari dropping him for Carlos stuff happened. And Daniel, imo, has always been someone that Christian loves beyond just being a driver who was giving them wins during the brocedes dominance era. Like Daniel drove the car at Christian’s wedding — that’s family/personal.

So I’ve always felt that it’s more than just pr, at least personally between Daniel and rbr.

Also it’s not anyone’s job to make way for a younger talent. These men are doing jobs, they’re still either good or consistent and provide value to the teams they’re in. So it really isn’t their place to be like “oh no I’m over 30 I must retire so some 20 year old can replace me.” No it’s on the teams to make that decision, while the drivers show off their value.

And Daniel has at least achieved something/shown that given the right machinery, he can win. Unlike say KMag or Nico hulkenberg.

100% agree it’s no one’s job to give new talent a chance. Everyone’s doing a job, and their job is to get results, f1 is not a development series. I do think some thought should be put into why it’s not profitable for teams to have rookies, and what can be done as a whole to facilitate more movement on the grid, but that’s a different thing. Drivers and even teams in isolation are not responsible for that.

I agree that Christian loves Daniel. You can see he has such an affection for him. Max is his golden goose but I think he loves Daniel like a little brother. That probably went into his idea to offer Daniel something, but I also don’t think he would have done it if it didn’t benefit him.

Side note, I really like how RB keeps a relationship with their drivers, regardless of whether they leave. Like how Alex is still involved with RB’s charity, how Seb is always welcomed there, Daniel, David Coulthard hanging around. I get such a family vibe from them.

[damnmmmmmmmmmm]

wait omg did you really meet Seb?? Tell us the storyyyyy plss

Another anon also asked me this and I have been meaning to write it out but I got sidetracked with all the crazy shippers in my anons… I did meet him before the haunted doll stole his soul!

So there I was, casually walking with my boyfriend—now fiancé—when he appeared. Strolling towards us in full incognito mode (cap, glasses, the whole don’t look at me, I’m just a regular dude vibe). Quick disclaimer: I’m not disclosing the location because, well… shippers are unhinged.

Now, my fiancé knows that I used to have a massive crush on Bucky Barnes (we’re both Marvel geeks, though he takes it to another level). So as we’re walking, my fiancé nudges me and whispers, “Say hello.” But my brain was like, Absolutely not. What if he doesn’t want to be bothered? What if I embarrass myself? What if I spontaneously combust??

But before I could shut down completely, my amazing, helpful, insert-sarcasm-here fiancé takes it upon himself to stop him and proudly announces: “Hey, I’m a huge fan, and this is my girlfriend—she has a huge crush on you.”

Sebastian barely blinked—like this was just another Tuesday for him. But then he looked at me, smiled, and before my brain could catch up, I blurted out: "I used to have a crush on you—when I was younger. And not actually you, but more the character you play… Bucky."

Because, obviously, I needed to clarify. Wouldn’t want him thinking I had actual feelings for him like some crazed fangirl. Nope, just a former crazed fangirl. So much better.

I wanted a picture, but he asked for no photos—totally fair. But I did get a hug, which was really sweet. And here’s the kicker—I’ve heard everyone say he smells amazing. Even my fiancé was like, “Damn, he smells good.”

But me? Thanks to my sinuses and allergies, I couldn’t smell a damn thing. Nothing. Nada. Not even a hint of Eau de Winter Soldier. Life is unfair.

[hollowwrites]

Blindsided

Part 11

Ominis x MC

Summary - Evelyn spends her first time at Hogwarts without Ominis.

This chapter gives me such Bella in New Moons vibes.

It’s a lot shorter than my other parts but that’s cause it’s just so sad and I want to get to happy couple Omilyn…right now!!

Warnings - Pain, Crucio, Anxiety, Everything we love about our boi Omi. All Characters aged up 18+

Word Count - 3037

~

“Can we go over it again?”

Sebastian rubbed his forehead. He had sat in a chair opposite Garreth for the better half of an hour, his Tri wizard uniform still clinging to him where blood and sweat had settled.

Garreth had come straight to Sebastian and Eve after having a conversation with his Aunt, shortly after the completion of the first trial. They had invited him to the Slytherin Common Room to discuss what she had said.

But that was an age ago and the conversation had gone nowhere.

“We’ve been over this, Evie…he’s gone” Sebastian mumbled, the guilt of knowing where Ominis was, was eating at him. He clung to his side, the ache of the Acromantula bite still throbbing, despite the treatment Nurse Blainey had forced upon him.

“It’s fine Seb. She’s just worried” Garreth stood putting his hand on Evelyns waist, to stop her pacing. “Sit, Eve, you’ll wear a hole through the floor” he smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes.

Evelyn sighed and sat on the coffee table, her leg bouncing from anxiety.

“I’m sorry, just…one more time. Maybe I’ve missed something” she said, the struggle to maintain her calm exterior quite clear.

“Okay.” He took her hands in his, rubbing soothing circles into her palms.

“I went to see my Aunt after the trial. I saw Ominis leaving her office. He told me to look after you and then headed straight to the transfiguration floo flame. Didn’t even get the chance to ask what he meant by that. When I spoke to my Aunt, she said he was authorising some time off but wouldn’t say what for. She tried to press him for more information, saying she has a duty of care to make sure he’s safe but he refused…I’m inclined to believe her. I’m sorry I can’t be of anymore help” Garreth repeated for the third time.

“Thank you, Garr.” She sighed

“Come on mate, I’ll let you out. Don’t know what that snake will do to a Gryffindor trying to leave.” Sebastian stood ushering Garreth out.

Before he left, Garreth placed a hand on Eves shoulder and gave her a squeeze. They both filtered out, leaving Evelyn alone.

Maybe she was overreacting.

It had only been a few hours.

But they were inseparable…

…and he’d…kissed her.

Although the conversation with Professor Weasley did seem to imply…Ominis was gone.

~

It had been three days.

And no one had heard from Ominis.

Lessons had gone by in a bit of a blur. She hadn’t paid attention to a single one. Her body was possessed, making its way from lesson to lesson out of instinct. Until the work day had ended, and she found herself curled up on the large common room sofas, waiting for a tall blond Slytherin to walk down the staircase.

Each night, Sebastian came out to check on her, pulling a blanket over her and leaving her a glass of water.

He had to pretend he wasn’t worried. But Ominis had said he would only be gone a day maybe two. Tipping into the third day made Sebastians’ chest tight. But what could he do? He’d told Evelyn he didn’t know where he was.

I’ll give him one more day…then I’m telling her

~

The next day came with an unwelcome announcement.

Today and Friday would be practise for the Yule Ball.

As the Slytherin and Gryffindor student filtered into the Great Hall, an overwhelming feeling of teenage angst filled the room.

Typically, the boys were loudly complaining that the dance was stupid. The girls moaned the boys weren’t taking it seriously. Everyone was furious that the Slytherins had to partner with a Gryffindor, and Sebastian and Imelda were upset they couldn’t practise with each other.

After a brief demonstration of the proper dancing etiquette, and a stern talking to about the where not to put your hands, the hall erupted into chatter. Couples breaking off and dancing in the centre. Professor Weasley and Sharp paced around the hall between the dance partners, issuing guidance and the occasional swift slap to wandering hands.

Garreth approached Evelyn, off to the side, with a sympathetic smile.

“Neither of us can dance with who want to so…” he bowed deeply in front of her, offering her his hand “Would you give me the distinct honour of going to the practise ball with me?”

“Of course” she smiled warmly “There’s no one else in Gryffindor I’d rather dance with” she said spying Leander out of the corner of her eye. He was approaching Imelda. “Oh Prewett is feeling brave” they both turned towards them.

Sebastian had already agreed to dance with Cressida, a decision he had quickly come to regret. She was loudly chastising him for stepping on her feet and not correctly performing the routine. He rolled his eyes and spun her closer to Imelda and Leander, listening intently. Though the spin was executed perfectly, Cressida continued her scolding.

Imelda peeked over Leanders shoulder at Sebastian, smirking. She agreed to dance with the lanky Gryffindor, though her nose turned up when his hand fell to her waist.

The ‘dance’ between Imelda and Sebastian made Evelyns heart ache. They were so in love. The playful outdoing of each other and sly looks they shot as they danced near each other was…painful.

Ominis would hate this

It wasn’t until Garreth turned her away from them that she remembered, she was supposed to be dancing. Garreth had guided her to the dance floor whilst she tortured herself staring at happy couples and awkward encounters alike.

This could be us

Her mind swirled of images of her dancing with Ominis, his touch on her waist light and commanding. She suspected he would be good at dancing, the way he held himself was already graceful, she just needed to slot herself along side him and he would do the rest.

Or perhaps he would refuse, and they would stand off to the side gossiping about their friends and revelling in the drama of it all. She exhaled a silent laugh, imagining regaling Ominis with the tale of Imelda and Sebastian.

‘Thank goodness I’m blind’

She heard him clear as day in her mind.

This was a bit too much.

And Garreth noticed.

He pulled her towards his chest, rocking her slightly back and forth. To hell with etiquette. Better this than allow her to embarrass herself crying at a practise ball.

Professor Weasley walked by, opening her mouth to chide her nephew for setting a bad example. He looked at his Aunt and shook his head. Perhaps she could allow this one little indiscretion. She nodded before walking on.

“Eve?” Garreth lowered his head, his hair falling over both his and her face “Do you want leave?“

She pulled her head back up. Her face was flushed but not splotchy. So she hadn’t been crying? Progress. She smiled emptily up at Garreth.

“Thanks Garr. But I’m fine” she swallowed thickly “I’m past being upset now…I’m just worried” she took a step back to take up the proper dance position, holding his shoulder and hand whilst his other fell to her waist. They stepped in tempo with everyone else, their bond making it easy to perform the simple routine. And Garreths playful nature made it easy to have fun.

“You don’t have to lie to me, Ev” he looked at her earnestly “I’d be devastated if Anne had gone missing. If I hadn’t the ability to write her whilst she was ill…I don’t know…I may have gone mad. I have no clue what you’re going through.”

“Did you know he kissed me before he left?” She said blankly

“I didn’t no.” She felt his hand tighten around hers, his lips curling upwards into a small smile “Thats good though isn’t it?”

“What if it was a good bye kiss…”

“Did it…feel like a good bye kiss?” he asked. They were close, he considered Evelyn to be one of his best friends, but he had no idea if she would be comfortable with this line of questioning.

She thought about the way Ominis’ arm clung to her and pulled her closer. The way his tongue lapped at her parted lips…

“I’m going to guess based on the lovely shade of pink you have turned that it wasn’t a good bye kiss” Garreth teased, watching her cheeks blush brightly. The tiniest hint of a smile plucked at her lips. He pushed her away into a spin, the tiny smile erupting into a giggle.

“I don’t think it was”

“Then try not to worry. He’ll come back. He’s probably just forgotten to tell you he was doing something. I know he’s all regal and…princely…” Garreth struggled with the words but continued anyway “but at the end of the day, he’s a man. We’re all a little bit stupid”

She almost agreed, her worry subsided for a fraction of a second…

Before the huge double doors slammed open and ‘little’ Lucan Brattleby stood panting in the doorway.

“Mr Brattleby, sixth year practise is tomorrow.” Professor Sharp shouted from across the hall “You will get your chance to-“

“Yeah, not bothered by all that, Sallow, Hollow…You’re gonna wanna see this”

~

The Hospital Wing.

Of course, when he got back he’d be in the Hospital Wing.

Lucan had told Sebastian and Evelyn that he’d seen Ominis entering the Infirmary as he was leaving, after the ‘little’ Gryffindor took a pretty bad Diffindo to the side. They’d immediately made their way there and as they burst through to the ward, he was there.

“…with all due respect, Miss Blainey” Ominis spat “I know a little bit more about Dark Magic than you do. Give me some Wiggenweld so I can be on my way”

“Ah, Miss Hollow and Mr Sallow perhaps you can speak some sense into Mr Gaunt” she looked Ominis up and down before turning on her heels to deal with another student, lying on one of the bed, moping.

Ominis seemed surprised that they were here. Like he couldn’t hear them.

“…Damn it” he muttered

His casual and unbothered attitude, angered Evelyn. Almost as though he didn’t care that she’d spent the last three day fretting.

“Ominis Gaunt” she tried to check her tone, she really did, but speaking through clenched teeth has a way of making someone sound…angry “Where the bloody hell have you been?!”

“Not anymore” he approached the pair ushering them out of the Hospital Ward. His lips had the faintest smile upon them.

“What?”

“I’m not Ominis Gaunt anymore” he exhaled a breathe of relief, lips curling into a satisfied smile.

“So everything went to plan?” Sebastian spoke finally.

“Clearly not” Ominis muttered, pointing to the Ward behind him.

“I knew you knew where he was” she jabbed at Sebastian’s chest whilst he looked sympathetically at her “What went to plan? Whats happening? If someone doesn’t explain what the hell is going on I’m going to…”

Her next breath almost choked her. As Ominis strained to hear what direction she came from, she finally saw the reason why. He turned his head to reveal a nasty purple bruise creeping up his neck and partially over his ear. In the centre, the familiar intricate swirl of The Cruciatus Curse. The thought hadn’t even crossed her mind before she grabbed at his collar, his eyes going wide as she pulled him down to her eyeline “Why have you been cursed? Who did this?”

“Which of those twenty questions would you like me answer first?” He snatched his collar away from her, smoothing out his shirt. He had only ever sounded like this twice. When he shouted at her leaving the Undercroft for the first time and when he confronted Sebastian about the Relic.

The audacity for him to speak to her like that right now.

“Do not get snippy with me. I have not slept worrying about you. You…you just left me…” the pair gravitated towards each other unlike Sebastian had ever seen. The usual delicate dance between the two of them was shattered as they squared up to one another.

These were his best friends…

“I’ll leave you two to talk” He said touching Ominis’ shoulder. “It’s good to see you” Ominis nodded to Sebastian and he left.

Several seconds went by as the two of them faced off in hallway. Ominis raised his wand, the familiar echo charm humming inches from her face. His face contorted as he tried to hear her, feel her, but his damaged ear made it harder than usual. She found herself…softening.

”Where were you?” She finally asks, her voice small.

”I- I went to see my family” he admits

”Your…family?” her mind flooded full of pictures of his scarred and marred body “Merlin…they cursed you”

”Yes…my brother…he-“

”Why…why would you do that to yourself?” Her tone was accusatory. She flinched at the sound of it leaving her own lips and prayed he didn’t think she was saying he brought this on himself. He didn’t.

”Do you remember my Aunt Noctuas’ final letters that you found?” She nods, her mind swirling and racing, she forgot he can’t actually see her “Originally I intended to take them to my Aunts friend and give him some closure…but he told me she had left me everything in her will. We used her money to legally separate myself from that family…I’m not burdened by them anymore” he smiled and a breath left him that it seemed like he had been holding for years.

”But you were never a ‘Gaunt’, Ominis, Why did it matter so much?” His eye twitched

”Because my family are talked about in the streets of Hogsmeade. Because students and teachers and strangers assume the worst in me. Because I have made no friends, no connections based on that name. The only people who ever dared approach me are Sebastian, Anne…and You” his voice increased in volume like she had never heard it, until it cracked at the mention of her. His whole body deflated like he has been defeated and his voice was quiet again “Because they wanted you”

”Me?”

”There is a Swedish Pureblood family with the name Hollow. They found out that you existed and thought you were related. After Fifth year when you saved everyone and your ancient magic became more common knowledge, they wanted you. They wanted a Gaunt with the powers of ancient magic. They insisted I propose but shortly after found out that you were…muggleborn. They said such horrible and disgusting things about you…” his eyes glazed over more than usual like he was reliving all those memories right in front of her

“…and I… agreed so that they wouldn’t assume we were involved. If they thought their son had feelings for…” he gripped her arms now looking down at her with his sightless eyes

“I have lied and clawed and bent over backwards to get them to leave you alone just because they’re worried their son would get involved with a muggleborn witch. That I would tarnish the Gaunt name. They don’t need to worry about that anymore. You’re safe.”

She was quiet for a while. The grip he maintained on her arms was strong, as though he believed if she let go she’d disappear

”Why didn’t you tell me? I could have helped” she managed

“Evelyn” he breathed almost amused “They would have done unspeakable things to you on sight…”

”And I can do them back. Ominis…they hurt you-“

”And they would do worse to you!” His voice raised once again “I am protecting you, I am always protecting you. Why do you think I have not made any advances toward you? It is not because I am not interested. It is because I am scared! If I’d have told you my plans…Would you have allowed me to go home without you?”

”No becau-“

”And do you know, fully know, what they would have done to you knowing full well that you are muggle born?”

”No…” she muttered her voice cracking

”I do… I can’t stand the idea of them getting their claws into you. You’re too…good for that. Too perfect”

”I am not perfect, Ominis”

”You are to me…”

She was silent, looking deep into his eyes. Never had she met someone with such emotion held in the depth of his eyes. Like tiny oceans of hurt and anxiety. But right now…all she saw was love.

“I am sorry I hurt you. I am sorry I left but I do not regret a thing. We…We can be together now, free of that wretched name”

Finally, the grip he had on her arms relented. His fingers cupped her elbows, thumbs stroking along her forearms.

”If you will still have me. I know our kiss…it was rushed it…it was not what I thought our first kiss would be but…it is all that I have clung to for three days. The idea that you were waiting…” It was the first time she’d ever properly seen him blush. The lightest pink dusted across his cheeks as he spoke.

”I was waiting…” she whispered, her fingers touching across the pastel shading of his cheekbones. She laughed breathlessly “I’m not angry at you I’m…I thought I’d done something wrong. I’ve spent the past three days concerned that your feelings had changed for me and that you’d left. Petty little teenage…it doesn’t matter…Meanwhile you were…in pain and alone. I’m sorry I couldn’t be there”

”I’m sorry I left” he breathed again

Her hands cupped his face, he seemed so heavy in her hands, as though this was the first time he had allowed himself to truly relax. The first time he didn’t have a weight on his chest.

She reached up to him wrapping her arms around his neck, completely forgetting about the bruise encompassing his right side. He winced, but reached an arm behind her anyway when she tried to retreat.

“I can handle the pain for a second just…stay” he murmured into her neck and could feel his lips as he spoke. They stayed holding each other for a second before she pulled away, taking his hand.

“Come on, I have Wiggenweld. Lets get you fixed up”

Masterlist

[taylorkellyreporting]

i hope no one minds if i liveblog this bitch: hsmtmts 2x01-2x12

gina saying ‘i’m gonna make my mark’ while walking through nini and ricky, causing them to break their handhold…yeah.

poor gina, she likes ricky so much

that was harsh, ricky didn’t deserve that.

oh my God, nini’s ‘team kourt’ pullover is so cute

blondie has a great voice but she’s a shit person, i have to say

kourt, ash and gina did so good but i kinda wish ashs voice wasn’t at the forefront

i officially hate blondie, how dare her laugh at big red falling???

ashlyn as belle my beloved <3

I KNEW SHE WAS A SPY

the hearts on nini’s face, aw

lmfaoooo he’s in denver

‘…i’m taking it in stride’ ‘you’re dressed in all black’ pls

big red saying valentine’s day is centered around the color red so he should have it on lock and pointing to his hair was hilarious i love him

ricky definitely has some buried feelings for gina cause there’s no other reason why their scenes are now slightly awkward in that cute way it is when characters have mutual feelings for each other and don’t know how to act esp when one half is in a relationship 🤭

‘there are just some things i tell you that i don’t tell anybody else’ ‘i think we do that for each other’ who else is doing it like them? definitely not rini lmao

not ricky shushing gina cause nini’s calling??? now why would he do that if he didn’t feel slightly guilty for hanging out with her? emotionally cheating ricky we love you🫂

big red and ashlyn are so adorable together

GOD RICKY AND THE CHOCOLATES, I CANT BREATHE

the way ricky immediately sent that text to gina, he’s so fucking obvious 😭

‘love you, mom!’ seb is so cute

kourt as lead when??

ricky’s fucking face when he sees nini’s voicemail and gina’s text 😭

reds song was saurrr cute

ricky’s down so bad, gina didn’t even say anything funny and he immediately lost it

‘what, do i need to send you a random box of chocolates to prove it? 😏’ gina is literally the only one so far who brings out ricky’s flirty side

‘i go big, gina. you know that.’ GOD

kinda wanna throw hands with mr mazzara for being there for ej but not willing to be there for ricky earlier

need someone to notice something’s wrong with gina and hug her

is gina leaving again? kinda getting that vibe

gina’s performance was AMAZING

WOW i think that’s genuinely the best cover of ‘the climb’ i’ve ever heard

‘i’ve never been accused of being speechless’ 🫂

oh wow, they stole their beauty and the beast idea

‘i’m ready to come home’

‘what would you ask your future self?’ ‘trick question, gaston’s dead!’ he’s not wrong 😭

ricky’s allergic to change and it’s definitely his parents fault

‘i wouldn’t quit on us, if i wasn’t moving away’

‘nini’s back and…he’s so happy now’ SHE DESERVES TO BE HAPPY, TOO!!!!

espionage 😭😭

gina finally got a hug 🥹

ricky saying he’d ask if the beast and belle were still together in the future + nini writing that song…yeah, they were built to fall apart

‘oh my God, is your phone hungry?!’ lmfaoooo

‘do you really think they’d steal from us?’ ‘i would :D’ pls?? gina’s so funny 😭

‘if you leave me unsupervised with their costumes i cannot promise i won’t go all gina 1.0 in there’ lmfao i love her

the way i gasped in sync with everyone else when that kid called the costume fugly 😭

ricky and nini is the worst relationship on the show

OH MY GOD???

okay, i did NOT see howie being the beast coming

‘miss jen, we didn’t break anything’ ‘would you like me to be the first?’ miss jen said her hands are rated E for everyone

‘keep our heads down and our chins up’ ‘i don’t think that’s physically possible’ ‘it’s an expression, sebastian!’ she’s so done with him 😭

rini needs to end, they aren’t good together at all

i already hate ej’s dad, he sounds so full of himself and he’s only said a few words lmao

kourt’s mom is the best parent on the show i fear

damn, all the relationships are imploding this ep

i would’ve preferred gina and ej just being friends tbh

i feel bad for nini and ricky of course, but their relationship was not it

okayyyy an andi mack reunion!! i’m here for it!

i love the song and video they made, i just wish ricky was there, too

gina is so damn shippable cause why am i here thinking her and jack would be cute together

ricky’s song is so good

ej showing up at the airport…ricky should’ve ran into gina there on his way home and they should’ve taken an uber together or something

‘i think i may have played troy at one point’ pls 😭

lily’s incredibly annoying

seblos 🥹

oh fuck, ricky fell 😭

the musical is really good

A BIG BROTHER FIGURE, I’M CRYING

lily stole the harness, didn’t she?

well.

‘i’ve always seen your name in lights’ oh my God, they’re so cute!!!

why can’t gina ever just be happy?!?

Gina and nini’s friendship (i use that word loosely lmao) is cute

nini being more upset about her and gina than ricky and gina…she doesn’t give a fuck about him dkgjfjs

oh wow, gina’s definitely gonna introduce nini to her brother

‘are you happy?’ miss jen is already better than both of ricky’s parents just by asking that simple question

i’m so glad they dropped out

oh brother

the cast performing you are the music in me 🫶🏻🥹

aww, olivia crying 🥺

that’s a wrap on s2 and if you made it to the end of this lb, pat yourself on the back lmfao

[littlemissidontcare]

Ok so I had new idea who the F that Conor girl was cuz I wasn’t in the fandom back in 2016, so I did some digging cuz I was curious. I went to her IG. I like her vibe (bummer, they’d have been cute) but that’s not why I came here. I found her post about the SAG strikes and i now have so much respect. She’s a working actor and is relatively successful (not seb level obvi but still was in a hit show) and she fully put it out there that she lost insurance?! That takes a lot of ego-less courage to do that. I feel a lot of actors try to keep an image up.

And then, we have AW’s post. Talking about how she wants it to end cuz she wants to share projects she’s done. It came off so entitled like “ughhh I wanna tell you guysss but I’m not alllowwwed!”

Even Margarita has been on the picket lines. I feel like seb should say something about these strikes too and he hasn’t. I can’t help but wonder if he’d say something or at least go to a picket line if he was dating someone who encouraged him to do so. Anyway sorry mod, that was long but I’ve been confused why seb hasn’t talked about strikes or been present. Even Jessica Cha stain is, so yeah I dunno sorry that’s long 😅hope you have a great day mod, your vibe is great. (First time submitting🥰)

First of all, WELCOME BABE ❤️

Second, I agree with everything you said. Annabelle’s post seemed very whiny, and I do think Seb should be saying something or participating..

[punkscowardschampions]

Teddy & Gia & Chloe & James

Teddy: You’ll never be CEO screening daddy dearest’s calls

Teddy: answer his correspondence & agree to his demands

Gia: What are you talking about now?

Gia: We’re in [wherever Seb has his country home], what’s happened? 

Teddy: He’s talking about where to put me, do keep up

Teddy: [whatever hotel his parents are gonna stay in] is hardly a fitting punishment even [the cheapest rooms going, that kinda vibe]

Gia: Teddy, what have you done?

Teddy: Had you accepted my invitation, you’d be well aware

Gia: You have got to be joking

Gia: What would possess you to wreck your own home, what on earth is actually wrong with you?

Teddy: The party spirit?

Teddy: or [whatever alcohol Nancy bought him as a gift that he didn’t even get to drink so he’s namedropping it purely because he’s thinking about her, we see you] perhaps

Gia: That is our family home, we grew up there

Gia: not to mention the cost of whatever havoc you’ve brought, do you seriously want to be kicked out for good, that’s where you’re heading with this childishness 

Teddy: Oh please, he turned your childhood bedroom into an unnecessary office, Gia, if I’m lacking in sentimentality, no wonder

Gia: And you have a whole floor to yourself, you selfish brat

Teddy: At what cost? If you insist on being so crass as to mention the word

Teddy: a roof over my head shouldn’t require I earn the square footage via slave labour

Gia: You are a joke

Gia: you know a lot of people have to pay their parents rent, to keep living with them, contribute

Gia: what positive do you contribute, ever?

Teddy: Not anyone who turned 16 a literal moment ago, I know you opted against going to law school, but come on

Teddy: I’m far from a 30-year-old loser residing in the basement, taking advantage of their free wifi for the dark web

Gia: I’m just pointing out that you are wilfully ignorant of just how good you have it and take every opportunity to take advantage of everything you’ve been given

Gia: You’re 16 now, you cannot throw these tantrums and expect no repercussions 

Teddy: Excuse me, I’ve already picked my subjects, NONE of my friends have

Gia: Have any of your friends destroyed their parents’ entire house lately, I don’t think so

Teddy: They helped destroy ours, however much I’d love to claim it was a completely solo endeavour

Gia: You allowed them to

Teddy: Encouraged, in fact

Teddy: think daddy shooing mummy off to [wherever she got her plastic surgery]

Gia: Oh yes, it’s not that procedures are her only hobby

Teddy: Speaking of, warn Seb to have the table set by [a o clock he’s saying he’s turning up lol] & that I don’t eat [whatever you hate so pretend you’re allergic to], before he goes for a nap he may never wake up from

Gia: No

Gia: you’re not staying with us

Teddy: Whyever not?

Gia: Because you did it on purpose

Teddy: & I promise to convince your future husband that what is happening between he & I is entirely accidental, undeniable chemistry being awfully difficult to fight

Gia: I’m serious

Teddy: Unsurprisingly 🥱

Gia: You aren’t destroying my home

Gia: and you should see consequences for your behaviour, I’m sure the renovations are coming from your inheritance 

Teddy: It’s his house, it can’t be called a home unless his children are there for the holidays making happy memories only somewhat soured by your presence

Gia: You can’t claim to be any sort of authority on a happy home when you’re determined to make it miserable for everyone else

Teddy: Neither can you & yet there you were trying so very very hard

Gia: You’ve entirely fictionalised this terrible home life

Teddy: J’s the reader, I have no use for fiction, Eng Lit isn’t a 6th form pick in anyone’s wildest dreams but his

Gia: What are you ambitions, what do you plan to do with yourself if it isn’t working for [their dad’s company]?

Teddy: Ambitions other than that aren’t allowed

Gia: Have you shown any initiative, any drive? 

Gia: Not that any of us are witness to

Teddy: I’m not likely to show you anything given you couldn’t care less

Gia: You’re claiming hidden depths whilst stomping and kicking like a toddler

Teddy: I’m acknowledging your obvious disinterest in everything about me, including my wellbeing, you’re claiming I deserve to be homeless after all

Gia: You deserve to work this out for yourself, you’re not learning anything if I just let you crash into my house and life

Teddy: Work what out? [the fancy wine] + hardrive = no more pretending to put in office hours once he leaves?

Gia: Work out where you’re going to be staying

Teddy: Done, naturally

Gia: Is it?

Teddy: He’s the soft touch to your Thatcher fetish iron fist

Gia: You think James needs you to contend with on top of his failing marriage, be serious

Teddy: He wants her out, you implied, what am I if not a fantastic further incentive for Chlo to pack her [whatever bags we’re saying to drag her with]? 

Teddy: goodness knows he needs ALL the help he can get there

Gia: Likewise, he’s not going to learn how to stand up for himself if he doesn’t do this now for himself, not because you’re an unwanted houseguest 

Teddy: He won’t have to as long as he continues dating my former friends, the power imbalance + dubious gap in age & experience will forever provide him an advantage to cover the copious amounts he’s lacking in

Gia: This is another fantasy you’ve concocted 

Teddy: No it isn’t, if I were controlling the narrative he’d be alone & miserable, not following in our father’s footsteps spending his time entertaining a teenage girl

Gia: I am not entertaining this

Gia: You are the one on trial here

Teddy: Execution, while on theme, isn’t on offer, alas 👑

Gia: I will be advising J to not take you in

Gia: but it’s ultimately his decision to make as correctly or incorrectly as he sees fit

Teddy: The decision’s made, I’m on my way & I’ll look suitably 🥺💔 befitting both our parents' cruelty & yours

Gia: Ridiculous 

Teddy: Yeah, he is

Teddy: nevertheless beggars can’t be choosers & you’d see me on the streets

Gia: You’re not getting rewarded for this, which is what would it would be if you were allowed to stay [at the hotel his parents are]

Teddy: I’m not getting punished by staying at [Chlo and James address ie the number and street or whatever], brat or no brat under the same roof

Gia: Any sane person would see that as such

Teddy: She must be dosed & asleep before 4pm

Gia: Chlo is the company no one wants to keep

Teddy: You just don’t know how to play with girls, it’s that aforementioned unbearable sexual tension striking again

Gia: You’ll make quite the pair

Teddy: Get out of the closet & you’ll find 0 shortage of suitable power lesbians for you to pair up with

Gia: Shut up, you are tragically unfunny

Teddy: You can even make being profoundly on the spectrum work for you, there are apps for every niche

Gia: Resorting to cheap insults because you didn’t get your own way? How predictable

Gia: I can’t trust you, that’s the fact of the matter

Teddy: It’s only an insult if you’re homophobic & ableist, way to out yourself

Gia: I do not care, Theodore

Teddy: Clearly, you’re THE biggest anti-ally

Gia: You can’t be serious, there is no talking with you, never mind reasoning 

Teddy: You’re a serious hater, it’s exhausting

Gia: I’m sure all your little friends were suitably impressed by your theatrics, that will have to suffice 

Teddy: True, I’m extremely cheered by the thought of them skipping off with their little party bags, a lengthy insurance claim which doesn’t cover the half of it will suffice, for now

Gia: You don’t live in the real world, I don’t think there’s much hope anything getting through to you at this point

Gia: I’m going to ring our father, see what can be done, this is entirely fruitless at this point

Teddy: Maybe try changing the record, you play that one saying the same thing each & every conversation

Gia: Because that is the reality

Teddy: You’re ringing daddy, proof you live in a bubble, which I’m forced to keep repeating because you’re impossible

Gia: You have nothing to say, no defence, nothing

Gia: You did what you always do

Teddy: Guilty people worry about preparing a defence, I didn’t do anything wrong 

Gia: You destroyed the house, countless belongings lost too, entirely willingly and on purpose

Gia: What is that if not wrong?

Teddy: Those consequences you’re obsessed with me facing go both ways

Teddy: their actions led to mine 

Gia: Poor you

Teddy: Woe’s them, they’re distraught, allegedly 

Gia: You’d understand if you’d worked for any of the things you have

Gia: their wrong is spoiling you this badly and for this long, nothing more

Teddy: I understand our father can do 0 wrong in your eyes & our mother absolutely nothing right, you don’t even believe your own lecture, why would I?

Gia: She’s the one that’s made you into this much of a freak

Gia: but you needed a firmer hand in general to stop you becoming so insufferable 

Teddy: Your predictable fantasies are insufferable

Gia: I don’t think about you until I am forced to

Gia: I’d like to not have to consider you at all, actually

Teddy: No one’s forcing you, not even daddy dearest, more’s the pity as it’s what you dream of

Gia: You’re truly disturbed

Gia: and I don’t wish to communicate with you until you get some help, that’s where we’re at

Teddy: & you’re equally boring

Teddy: I might consider communicating with you if you get a post-divorce/funeral personality

Gia: I’m wasting my time trying to impress a brat like you because…?

Gia: I think not

Teddy: Because you’ll never impress a dictator like him, how truly embarrassing you still think that’s a vague possibility

Gia: Read as, you know you’re incapable of measuring up so you don’t even try lest your best effort be judged

Teddy: Read as, it’s laughable you’d ever tell me to grow up when he’s the hero you worship

Gia: You mistake basic respect for hero worshipping, because you have none, for nobody 

Teddy: I’m fully capable of recognising bootlicking for what it is

Gia: He works for his money, so do I, so does Seb

Gia: you’ll let yourself be funded by [the mum’s family] for your entire life and pretend your entire existence isn’t bowing down 

Teddy: At a company founded with her money which constantly trades off her name & legacy

Gia: His work turned [this loan into whatever this company now earns per year because the sort of thing you would know]

Gia: meanwhile her youngest child, if we were being charitable and acting like she had anything much to do with raising us, is of age and she’s immediately freezing her face and body with silicone

Teddy: Wow, what a man, what an achievement 👏

Gia: More than she has or will ever

Gia: what will you?

Teddy: Aside from marrying & divorcing your fiancé before you’ve so much as set a date?

Gia: Hilarious 👏

Gia: We’ve set a date, actually

Gia: but due to your little stunt, we’ll wait to announce it officially

Teddy: Ha ha

Teddy: you’re welcome for the extra time this affords you to practice emoting like a normal human being

Gia: Do you know that if it wasn’t for you, and for mother and for James, all your dramas, that we would have been able to be married ages ago

Gia: we are always waiting, for my family to stop fucking up and just be normal, for once

Teddy: If you’re bothering to wait for something, it should be [one of his children to be less ugly in some way, eg get their braces off or get out of their gawky phase, we know the vibes], do think of the photos, THEY’RE forever

Gia: There’s nothing wrong with Seb’s family, ever

Teddy: He’s reading over your shoulder, noted

Teddy: Hi Seb

Gia: Get a grip, for God’s sake

Teddy: Get a clue, he wouldn’t be marrying you if he wanted normal

Gia: I don’t need you to tell me how compatible me and my fiance are, thank you very much

Teddy: You’re the wannabe human computer, I don’t care about your stats

Gia: Good, it’s none of your business

Teddy: It’s ridiculously simple to be compatible with whoever

Gia: By your definition, I’m sure it is

Teddy: Of course you have your own special individual definition

Teddy: you’ve reinvented love & romance purely to exist between you & Seb & be displayed on whichever date you’ve apparently chosen 🙄

Gia: I’m saying, how you live, it’s clear that your definition of compatibility is a lot looser than mine

Teddy: How I live?

Teddy: you sound older than your future husband 🦖🦕

Gia: There’s no need to spell it out

Teddy: If I were you, I’d spell out to the correct brother a child bride for his 2nd isn’t the move

Teddy: unless you’re that desperately lacking a flower girl for your big day

Gia: Ha ha

Gia: If what you’re saying about all this business proves even slightly true, J will have everyone on his back, obviously

Teddy: Unfortunately, I doubt he’s been left with enough drug-induced brain damage to invite her as his plus-one, perhaps once he falls off the wagon truth will out

Gia: You wish

Gia: I just want to focus on my wedding

Teddy: I wish you all the best for your honeymoon in hospice 

Gia: Enjoy your homelessness

Teddy: I’ll enjoy my extended stay with J & his current wife who is often styled like she shops exclusively at a homeless charity, thanks

Gia: I’m sure you will

Teddy: When wedding planning gets overwhelming, I’m sure she or her mother still have [all the tacky wedding things lol] you can borrow

Gia: If I find myself wanting to look like a child bride with 0 taste, I’ll bear that in mind

Teddy: Do, stood next to your shrivelled groom, you very much will

Gia: It was never funny, it only grows more tiring, just stop

Teddy: How old is [his eldest child] again?

Teddy: that’s [however many] years younger than you, isn’t it? Correct me if I’m wrong

Gia: What’s your point?

Teddy: You could be a child of his ✔️ 0 taste ✔️

Gia: I’m not, you’re the one conflating the ideas in your head, it’s irrelevant

Teddy: It’s basic maths, G

Teddy: [his youngest or stupidest child] could do it

Gia: I’m not their mother

Teddy: How long until you’re pregnant & [the name of a worker there we’re shading as being this bitch], venturing into the office to show off your latest scan & leave? 🥳

Teddy: ta-da, you’re someone’s mother 

Gia: I have absolutely no intentions of becoming a mother right now

Teddy: I remember you saying you had none of becoming a wife, ever

Teddy: now you want to ‘focus on your wedding’

Gia: Being a wife is not akin to being a mother

Gia: neither is a full-time job, actually, but I can see how you’d have such backwards notions

Teddy: Anyone can see why you wouldn’t have the slightest desire to devote yourself to either

Gia: That’s what she is, is she, devoted, really?

Teddy: If she were, she wouldn’t be crying over lost diamonds & furs

Gia: Oh you really did it this time

Gia: even mummy won’t defend your bullshit

Teddy: She upset me first

Gia: What sort of teenage boy wants to spend his birthday with his mother anyway

Teddy: I’m shocked you don’t have a handful of slurs ready & waiting

Gia: Your sexuality has nothing to do with this, even as a punchline

Teddy: ‘This,’ as we’re referring to it now, has been resolved

Gia: Your toxic relationship with her? I highly doubt that but sure

Teddy: I’m on J’s doorstep 🧸🏷 

Teddy: belated birthday pass the parcel is supposedly the answer

Gia: More fool him for having you

Teddy: Unannounced rather denies him any choice in the matter, hip hip hooray

Gia: He’d not turn you away, he’s too soft

Teddy: + invested in his turning everyone sober agenda, lest any of us forget

Gia: Certainly won’t do you any harm

Teddy: Untrue

Gia: Tough luck

Teddy: No, tough love, that’s almost certainly the idea

Gia: Regardless, you’re set to have the summer you deserve now

Teddy: Quite, never a dull moment at [James and Chlo’s address, slightly differently to how he did it before but still unmistakably where they live lol]

Gia: You can stop bothering yourself over my life, that will be a relief

Teddy: It’s no bother, don’t worry

Gia: 🙄

Teddy: I’ll always make time for my favourite sister, so far anyway

Teddy: we’ll reassess if J does manage to remarry

Gia: Sister-in-law, that’s what Chlo is

Gia: it’s sickening when you do that

Teddy: Being disgusted she’s family is something to discuss with the perpetrator of said crime

Gia: In-laws are not family

Teddy: You would cling to such bizarre distinction because you hate playing step-mummy but that’s your problem, not mine

Gia: They have a mother, they don’t need another, that’s not my role in their life at all

Teddy: You don’t have a role in their life, just their father’s impending death

Gia: Yawn

Teddy: Congrats for finally acknowledging your tedious existence

Gia: Your tedious conversational skills

Teddy: You likewise don’t wish to converse with me, I wouldn’t waste skills on you

Gia: Skills you’ve never developed

Teddy: Mimicking II in any aspect of my development takes 0 finesse at all, evidenced by your everyday echo of his worst traits

Teddy: at least I’m emotionally stunted in a fun way

Gia: Fun for you, perhaps

Teddy: The whole scene enjoys me, as your earlier slut-shaming pointed out

Gia: I don’t wanna hear it

Teddy: Fine, go away

Gia: Gladly

Teddy: 😘

Teddy: Please be in a better mood today 🙏👀

Chloe: What the hell are you up to now

Teddy: 💔 you’d suggest I’m anything but 👼🏼

Chloe: I’m serious, why the fuck are you bothering me right now

Teddy: Darling, don’t be like that, you were invited to take your untreated baby blues & festering grudges out on the house & all its contents

Chloe: I wouldn’t be caught dead at your party

Chloe: and I don’t want you in my home

Teddy: I beg to differ, you wanted me in your bed not long ago

Chloe: You are insane, I never once said anything like that

Teddy: True, you didn’t specify the exact furniture

Teddy: inside you then, where being irrelevant

Chloe: If you persist with these vicious lies

Teddy: …?

Teddy: go ahead & finish your empty threat

Chloe: There’s nothing empty about it, go, leave

Chloe: You’re obsessed with me and it’s scary

Teddy: Give him your ultimatum, I’ll wait

Teddy: I guarantee your bags will be packed before mine are un 

Chloe: You want me to tell him what you said?

Teddy: Say whatever you like, I don’t intend to hold back either

Chloe: I didn’t say anything to you, you were the one saying all that insane stuff

Teddy: You told me how many of my babies you wanted

Chloe: Why would I ever say that?

Chloe: I said I wanted two sons, with James

Teddy: Okay, you’ve got 0 to worry about

Chloe: Can you just get out

Chloe: you make me uncomfortable

Teddy: No, I’ve got nowhere else to go 🥺

Chloe: And that’s my problem because…

Chloe: it isn’t, I have enough on my plate without having to deal with you

Teddy: It’s J’s, what’s his is yours

Chloe: I think not, I’ll make him make you leave

Chloe: We have a child, you aren’t safe for her to be around

Teddy: My beloved niece, he talks constantly about how I should spend more time with her

Chloe: He’s an idiot if he thinks that’s appropriate

Teddy: He thought you an appropriate mother, no one is doubting his foolishness

Chloe: How dare you

Chloe: she’s my child, I grew and birthed her, there is no beloved niece and daughter without me

Teddy: How dare YOU

Teddy: he’s my brother, you’re trying to cause a rift between us now that I’m all grown up & you have no self-control around me, it’s outrageous

Chloe: You cause rifts because you’re some sort of wannabe psychopath

Chloe: you’re also repulsive, get real, I would never even look at you

Teddy: Shall we take a guess at what diagnosis is earned when you’re this eager to weaponise your daughter at every turn?

Teddy: narcissist, undeniably, which is awkward given how much you CLEARLY loathe yourself

Chloe: Weaponise?

Chloe: her safety is my priority, and his, that’s being a parent, you have your own

Teddy: Your priority is manipulation you unfortunately lack the intellect to truly pull off, even on a soft touch like J

Chloe: Just go to a hotel or a friends

Teddy: I’m on my way to yours, it’s non-negotiable 

Chloe: No

Teddy: Yes

Chloe: Then we’re leaving and you can explain why

Teddy: Fantastic

Teddy: he deserves the truth, not lies you reap the rewards of

Chloe: You don’t know the meaning of the word, you’re a born liar

Teddy: You were born first, you’ve got years on me

Chloe: I’m not lying, about anything

Teddy: It’s tragic how you’ve begun to believe your own lies, poor J, poor Tilly

Chloe: He lies, to me, pretends he’s the good guy when he never has been

Teddy: You’re pretending I’M the bad guy when I’ve done nothing except help & support you

Chloe: When have you ever done anything for anyone but yourself

Teddy: Ow, as one of your few remaining friends, everything I do is in your best interests

Chloe: We’ve never been friends, you are awful to me

Teddy: I told you he was cheating again & who with, the details of your daughter’s trust which no one else shared… those are just 2 very recent examples of my kindness

Chloe: You told me that to ruin the holiday and then blow my family apart

Chloe: and you clearly just told me that to try to get me in trouble now, you’ve made that obvious

Teddy: You’re part of MY family, I’d hate to see you tossed out like [insert an unwanted item or staff scandal here, we know the vibes], despite you cruelly wishing me onto the streets

Chloe: That’s exactly what you want 

Chloe: you revel in everyone else’s misery, especially mine

Teddy: I do not!

Teddy: maybe I revel in J’s but what have you ever done to upset me?

Chloe: What has he

Chloe: he’s Mr Perfect, sweetness and light to everyone except me, the one person he promised to love and cherish

Teddy: He’s currently doing Ava, for one thing

Teddy: we were friends

Chloe: You’re jealous

Teddy: We’ve been over that

Chloe: I mean of everything he is, not just that you’d like to be doing the little skank instead

Teddy: I could open & quote a dusty book every 5 minutes or write a boring diary in code

Chloe: You can’t shut your mouth long enough to ever be mysterious

Teddy: Oh please, he’s hardly a mystery

Chloe: Not to me, I know him

Chloe: but to all these silly little girls he is, that’s his appeal

Teddy: Silly little girls don’t appeal to me, I have taste

Chloe: Silly little boys, it’s the same thing

Chloe: but I suppose you fill that role, don’t you

Teddy: 🥱 if I wanted to be hatecrimed, I’d talk to G

Chloe: What’s bad about that, that’s what you do, I didn’t say it was abhorrent 

Teddy: I’m not about to do it under your roof but congrats on your allyship 🏅

Chloe: You aren’t staying

Chloe: why would you even want to, you can go anywhere

Teddy: What are you failing to understand, I’m temporarily cut off while mummy & daddy have their tantrum 💳🧊

Chloe: They’ll have to provide you with a bed in a hostel, at least, that’s their job, not mine

Teddy: Don’t be disgusting

Chloe: We don’t have the room!

Teddy: I’ll be doing you a favour forcing your husband to sleep with you instead of his study, as you’re adamant you’re going to conceive by him before he schedules another meeting with the lawyers & becomes an ex

Chloe: Your parents usual 💳 doesn’t extend to lawyers, so unless he’s told them, which I highly doubt

Teddy: I already told you, he’s discussed it with Gia, at length

Chloe: I don’t believe either of them would tell you that, you’re not trusted by any of them

Teddy: [send her the screenshot where you and Gia talked about that, I’m not gonna go and find the specific one but they did]

Chloe: Your sister is such a hateful bitch

Teddy: I’m aware

Chloe: She’s the one pushing for it, pressuring him, she always does this to get her way

Chloe: He wants our family to stay together, he knows what the alternative will be like for him

Teddy: She’s never approved of you

Chloe: She doesn’t approve of anyone, she’s such a snobby cow

Teddy: No one father doesn’t, she’s his pet [insert a dog breed that closely resembles his sister]

Chloe: Were you all touched as children? What on earth is wrong with you as a family, you’re so freaky

Teddy: She wasn’t touched enough, naturally

Chloe: See, that is an absolutely disgusting thing to just say, you should be in an asylum 

Teddy: I remember you saying [something equally horrific about someone when Chlo was younger, because she would and we can]

Chloe: Psh, I would never!

Teddy: Not to mention, [something more recent because she hasn’t turned over a new leaf lol]

Chloe: Keep insulting me, that’s really going to help your case

Chloe: I’m nothing like you, I’m a nice person

Teddy: I’m not pleading my case to you, it isn’t your house

Teddy: which is precisely why I’ve been trying to help you avoid being left with nothing

Chloe: It is, women always get the house

Teddy: Sympathetic maternal women

Chloe: I need somewhere to raise Matilda

Chloe: he can get some sleazy flat in [where all the bachelor pads are in London vibes]

Teddy: He’ll get a nanny & raise her, Tilly may disappointingly be a girl, but she still belongs to us

Chloe: With his taste, she won’t be of legal working age

Chloe: She’s my child, you have nothing without my say-so

Teddy: My father will employ her, she’ll be to his taste

Chloe: Excuse me?

Teddy: Do keep up, he signs every cheque, he’ll always have final say

Chloe: I don’t care about your creep of a father

Chloe: and none of you care about Tilly, so it’s nothing to do with you

Teddy: You should, fucking the nanny he’s bound to see more of your daughter than you will

Chloe: You’re all full of it

Chloe: my parents actually love her, like normal, sane people

Teddy: Love doesn’t pay legal fees, darling, they’ll bankrupt themselves fighting your hopeless cause & he’ll delight in it

Chloe: We’re not poor

Chloe: and I’m a good mother

Teddy: Not yet, but when the team of lawyers are finished, you’ll be poor & made to look like the WORST mother 💔

Teddy: Remember when [an instance of Chlo being a bad mother lol]? That’ll be twisted until everyone is convinced it wasn’t an unfortunate accident

Chloe: But it was!

Chloe: you can’t just gang up on me and tell awful lies

Teddy: I know, it’s dreadfully sad what a bully he is

Chloe: They’ll find out that it’s all lies

Teddy: Who?

Chloe: The panel, the judges, whoever it is that makes the decisions 

Teddy: Your optimism is adorable

Teddy: thank goodness you’ll have time to find a 2nd husband & birth more children before you’re classed as geriatric, I love happy endings 

Chloe: Shut up!

Teddy: Are you sure you don’t want me to whisper to Tilly about you so she doesn’t completely forget who you are?

Chloe: I’m not going anywhere

Chloe: and me and James are going to be together forever

Teddy: As you wish

Chloe: Yeah, I do

Chloe: and that’s what’s going to happen, I don’t need you and your half-baked schemes

Teddy: Fine, you can explain to Tilly when she’s 21 & in possession of her trust & mother’s unstolen heirlooms how your stubborn delusions kept you two apart for years, if she bothers to come looking for you at all, that is

Chloe: Your family can’t disappear me, they aren’t the bloody mafia

Teddy: You’ll disappear yourself for your necessary fresh start, Chelsea will be too mortifying & you too unwanted

Chloe: People will take my side, it’s him, he’s the cheat

Teddy: Not once they hear [another instance of her being a bad mother]

Chloe: James won’t let your family do that to me

Teddy: Because he’s been so loyal to you during your marriage?

Chloe: He’s not a terrible person like the rest of you, not like that

Chloe: he cares about my reputation

Teddy: He’s treated you horribly & that was when he had something to lose

Chloe: He’s always got something to lose

Chloe: I could go now and take her, easily

Teddy: He cares about custody of his daughter, he’ll do whatever it takes, including dragging your name through the mud to make himself look better

Chloe: What am I meant to do

Teddy: I’m done offering you advice you refuse to take

Chloe: You’re telling me to blow up my life

Teddy: How to save it before he does, actually

Teddy: & you repay me with blackmail

Chloe: How am I blackmailing you?

Teddy: You said you’d tell on me

Chloe: It doesn’t matter, no one takes you seriously

Chloe: he’ll say it’s just another of your unfunny jokes

Teddy: It matters to me that you’d be this mean

Chloe: Why? You’re mean

Teddy: I’ve been unforgivably nice to you

Chloe: You tried to manipulate me, I’m not an idiot 

Chloe: what did you tell Nancy about me?

Teddy: What makes you think I talk to anyone other than my bitchy sister about you?

Chloe: She’s talking to me out of the blue about her sister and my marriage 

Chloe: after attending YOUR party

Teddy: Because her sister & your husband are fucking after he picked me up from her party, old news as far as you & I are both concerned

Chloe: Did you tell her?

Teddy: I assume Ava did

Teddy: or perhaps it was J himself, I heard they had a touching reunion over coffee

Chloe: No shit, she hates her sister more than she hates me

Teddy: Well, what easier point scoring exercise either way, from one or the other, since they both obviously have the hots for him

Chloe: He’s not a bargaining chip in their sisterly squabbles, he’s mine

Teddy: He hasn’t been yours for a long time

Teddy: however old my niece is, I lose track

Chloe: Fuck you

Teddy: If only you had while my offer was on the table, you wouldn’t be in the predicament you are

Chloe: I despise you

Chloe: my life falling apart is just entertainment for you

Teddy: Don’t flatter yourself, it’s barely amusing at this point

Chloe: Then why are you still here?

Chloe: and no, I don’t mean in my house, I mean in my face, what do you want?

Teddy: Bold to assume you have anything I want

Chloe: You’re the one still talking

Chloe: spit it out

Teddy: Why would I incriminate myself further?

Chloe: You were never serious, calm down

Teddy: Always a pleasure, Chlo

Chloe: 🙄🙄

Teddy: You know where I am if YOU change YOUR mind

Chloe: If you come up with a genuine solution for me 

Teddy: I did

Chloe: I can’t have a child with you 

Teddy: The child is his

Chloe: but it won’t be, he won’t sleep with me 

Teddy: In name is what counts

Chloe: What am I telling him, he doesn’t get wasted, remember 

Teddy: You spiked [someone] for [a really petty reason], I remember that vividly

Chloe: He doesn’t go out, he’d know it was me

Teddy: He clearly is to meet his new girlfriend

Chloe: Oh I’m sure they stay firmly in her bed

Teddy: Get creative, you aren’t baby brained yet

Chloe: You’re being ridiculous, oh yes, I’ll invite myself on one of their ‘dates’

Chloe: if he bothers, which why would he, she gives it up for nothing

Teddy: Pre parasite, you had a social life, friends, they can’t ALL have dropped you

Chloe: None of which are going to spike my husband

Chloe: that explains a lot about you if that’s the company you keep

Teddy: Blah blah blah

Chloe: See, what help is this

Chloe: it’s nonsense, and you don’t need to be involved, I could create a test tube baby any time I wanted, he isn’t going to want it or think it’s his

Teddy: That’s nonsense, accepting your brats with open arms & few questions is the single thing he’s useful for

Chloe: Matilda is his

Teddy: He didn’t bother asking you to prove it

Chloe: Back then

Teddy: With the added stress of my arrival, he’ll be driven to drink

Chloe: Maybe

Teddy: But I don’t need to be involved

Chloe: Involved in being a nuisance, you clearly don’t know how to not be

Teddy: & I certainly don’t need to suggest [somewhere] as a thank you for letting me stay

Teddy: they get kitchen & bar orders wrong most of the time, just last week a friend ordered a mocktail & ended up making an utter fool of themselves when it was cock instead + [whatever antibotics you’re just outting your ‘friend’ as being on, giving embarrassing in themselves]

Chloe: You do it

Teddy: Excuse me?

Chloe: You spike him

Teddy: Say please

Chloe: You want to do it

Teddy: What on earth gives you that idea?

Chloe: You hate him

Teddy: Precisely, he can score his own [insert hilarious drug slang]

Chloe: So what, you’ve only got the balls to throw ideas out there, not follow them through?

Teddy: I’ve got the brains not to do everything myself while you sit there innocently

Chloe: I’ll be having the baby, you can’t do that

Chloe: that’s a greater sacrifice than you’ll ever make for anything

Teddy: Your figure’s already ruined & they’ll be offering better drugs than J’s getting from [the local dealer]

Chloe: You’re such a typical gay, you have no appreciation for what my body has done, it’s miraculous 

Teddy: Your body won’t be doing anything for me

Chloe: Ew

Teddy: A doctor holding a sheet almost fully over you is the kind of miracle we require for you to get pregnant in the first place

Chloe: I’m not interested in you, stop bringing it up

Teddy: Neither is your husband in you, regardless of the hallucinogen you dose him with 

Chloe: I know that, I don’t need you to tell me

Teddy: Fantastic, I’ll see you in [however long, giving his eta to her house]

Chloe: I’m not going to be there

Teddy: What a pity

Chloe: Enjoy your brotherly bonding or whatever

Teddy: I will

Chloe: I bet

Teddy: If I wasn’t devastatingly low on funds, of course

Chloe: Unlucky

Chloe: shouldn’t have pissed mummy and daddy off so fiercely

Teddy: I consider myself very lucky to be camped out at yours for the summer

Chloe: There’s something so wrong with you

Chloe: it’s hell

Teddy: For you, that’s heaven for me

Chloe: I’ll have to leave, James can stay with you or come to [the holiday home]

Teddy: I guarantee he’ll invite me on any family holiday, especially with the last being cut short 🍹

Chloe: I refuse to be around you, I’m going to talk to him

Teddy: Best of luck, darling, you’ll definitely need it

Chloe: With how much you’ve incriminated yourself? Get real

Teddy: You get real, he’s my brother, you’re simply his first wife

Teddy: soon to be ex

Chloe: And you tried to impregnate me

Teddy: In your fantasies 

Chloe: Stay far away from me, creep

Teddy: Gladly

Chloe: James, you HAVE to talk to your parents

Chloe: immediately

James: If this is presumably about Teddy staying, I have

Chloe: He just destroyed their house; he isn’t safe to be around Matilda

James: He’s her uncle, he wouldn’t do anything to deliberately hurt or upset her

Chloe: I don’t think that’s true

Chloe: he hurts and upsets everybody else, James

James: She’s a child, he isn’t a danger to children

James: with the unfortunate exception of himself, arguably

Chloe: You don’t know that, you don’t know him

Chloe: your parents can’t get him to behave, it isn’t your job to takeover

James: It isn’t up for discussion, I told you the last time we addressed this issue, he needs my support

James: not to mention understanding, which I’m well aware from personal experience, my parents don’t have the slightest insight into adequately providing

Chloe: You aren’t qualified 

Chloe: and I’m not interested in you experimenting with our daughter in harm’s way, we’re going to my parents’ until he’s gone

James: If that’s how you feel, that’s your prerogative

Chloe: That is disgusting

Chloe: your daughter should be your number one priority, always, who even are you now?

James: She is, you’re overreacting, and in the process, hurling unfounded accusations at Teddy

James: therefore, if this far-fetched measure will appease you, so be it

Chloe: She isn’t if you intend not to see her until your parents' entire house is renovated

James: I intend to see her as often as I do now

Chloe: No

Chloe: you don’t get to, if you’re picking him, because the accusations are not ‘unfounded’

James: Say what you mean, Chloe

Chloe: I have, you’re not listening to nor taking me seriously!

Chloe: he isn’t to be trusted

James: You haven’t offered anything definitive

Chloe: Don’t be purposefully opaque

Chloe: I don’t need to point to every example of terrible thing he has done or said, he does it all the bloody time

James: He needs someone to give him a chance despite those examples

Chloe: Oh my God

Chloe: not at the expense of your child

James: None of this is at her expense, you’re turning my attempt to help my brother into an ultimatum, when there simply doesn’t have to be a Teddy or Mattie scenario unfolding

Chloe: You need to listen to my fears and respect them, I don’t trust him around her

Chloe: I don’t know how I can be any clearer about this

James: I am listening, voice a sincere why to me, I’m all ears

Chloe: He’s been inappropriate

James: In what specific way?

Chloe: He has made comments and suggestions 

James: About our daughter?

Chloe: Yes

James: Such as?

Chloe: Wow, that’s all you have to say, really

Chloe: you should be sickened

James: Until you tell me what I’m dealing with, I should reserve judgment, I’m trying my best to do so

Chloe: He calls her horrible names and he says that you’re going to take custody of her and drag my name through the mud to do it

James: He calls every child he encounters a brat; he’s immature

James: and he makes a game of every interaction you two have

Chloe: You aren’t denying it

James: I wasn’t aware I had to; you’re her mother

Chloe: If anyone could take her away, it’s me

James: Lest I forget

Chloe: Don’t fuck me over, don’t make me the bad guy when you did this to us

James: Matilda is my priority, as you pointed out she should be, being a good father

James: you’ll always be her mother, irrespective of our personal entanglement

Chloe: That isn’t how you’re behaving

James: You’re the one suggesting she’s taken to your parents’ house for the foreseeable future

Chloe: Because you’re prioritizing him, even though he intends to ruin you, you do know that, don’t you

James: I don’t believe him capable

Chloe: You might not believe that his disgust is real, but everyone elses’ will be

Chloe: all he has to do is open his mouth, something he’s famous for

James: My concern isn’t for myself or his enjoyment of muckraking, my position in the postcode is hardly considered prominent

Chloe: You’ll be lucky to avoid criminal convictions, James, it’s not a simple case of reputation, it was her literal 16th birthday, how could you be so stupid

James: I haven’t done anything criminal and the court of public opinion has long since turned against me, for my years of barely remembered yet suitably damning, indiscretions

Chloe: You fool, do you not see how quickly this becomes you grooming her and just waiting out legality

Chloe: as soon as her parents find out, or she switches on you because it was only about point scoring in the first place

Chloe: you’ve left yourself entirely vulnerable to the worst accusations 

James: I don’t see any of those things becoming reality, no

Chloe: You’re deluded

James: To entertain the possibility you had anything close to a legitimate fear surrounding our daughter and Teddy, yes

Chloe: She was Matilda’s age when we met the twins, you sick fuck

Chloe: you think her father and Buster won’t kill you, you need to get your head out of a book and back in the real world, this is serious and I’m the only one who can do anything at this point to help you

James: What my brother did was serious, unless you’re offering any solutions there, I don’t wish to talk to you

Chloe: I bet you don’t, why face what you’ve done

Chloe: Teddy’s a child? So’s your fucking girlfriend then, think on that

James: He has Matilda’s mental age

Chloe: No, he does not, you’re no psychiatrist and you’re certainly not a doctor

Chloe: but sure, commit the ultimate cliche and say she’s mature

James: She isn’t the topic of conversation, she didn’t endeavour to destroy my parents’ house brick by brick 

Chloe: I think you’ll find that is the only topic of conversation, your life is over 

Chloe: and she didn’t stop you from ruining that brick by brick did she

James: My life was over the day you trapped me in this relationship

Chloe: Oh please, you would’ve killed yourself you junkie

Chloe: I gave you a child, I gave you a purpose to not be a waste of space

James: You gave yourself a [however much]k allowance, [the house deets] and a willing scapegoat for everything which goes wrong (the perceived failing real or imagined), that’s all I am to you

Chloe: If that were true, why would I still be trying to help you now, still worried about you

James: You’re worried about yourself, the scandal, how my actions reflect on you, and make you look in the eyes of others

Chloe: I’m worried how our daughter is going to be treated because of your actions

James: So am I

Chloe: Moving forward, you need to act like it

Chloe: change your behaviour, protecting yourself from this is about protecting her

James: I know

Chloe: I could help you, if you let me

James: Every offer you extend is a double-edged sword, continuously sharper in its negative consequences

Chloe: That’s horrible, I don’t deserve to be treated with such contempt 

James: I can’t trust you, I don’t

James: I’m sorry

Chloe: You can’t trust your brother, with anything

Chloe: don’t take any food or drink from him, okay

James: He won’t poison me, this isn’t [insert relevant novel or play here]

Chloe: He wants you to fall off the wagon, James, work it out

James: He’ll have to want, and his ridiculous scheme be found wanting, that isn’t going to happen

Chloe: You can’t even thank me for warning you

James: Thank you

Chloe: Good luck, I’m turning my phone off, I’m done with you both

James: Please don’t go, not like this

Chloe: How can I stay?

Chloe: You won’t let me help, you don’t listen to anything I say

James: Your cruel jibes aren’t productive

Chloe: You hurt me

James: Likewise, and you land all your blows first

Chloe: I’m not cheating on you

James: Currently, we’re both guilty of committing adultery

Chloe: Never like this

James: I didn’t plan to

Chloe: Doesn’t make it okay

Chloe: you have to stop now

James: I’m not hoping to excuse myself, there are none

Chloe: It’s about changing behaviour, doing better

James: I agree

Chloe: Show willing, try

James: I’ve let Mattie down terribly, broken the promise I made to her to stop, but I’ve never shown anything except a willingness to parent her

Chloe: She needs stability, not this

James: We aren’t stable together, the foundations are lies and resentments

Chloe: We can be, if we start afresh 

James: Apart is the only opportunity for an authentic new beginning, for either of us

Chloe: That isn’t true, it’s completely misguided 

James: I’ve tried so hard before, nothing changes

Chloe: She’ll be from a broken home, you’re going to mess her up so badly, worse than Teddy

James: If my parents had done the right thing and separated, perhaps he’d be more well-adjusted than the version we’ve got here

Chloe: Your mother can’t be alone

James: Whatever your flaws, you aren’t her

Chloe: I wish I could tell you you aren’t just like your father

James: I wholeheartedly desire to break the mould, and yet

Chloe: Here you are, refusing to or incapable

James: Staying is akin to repeating his biggest mistake, letting history, becoming who they are, essentially

Chloe: I’m not your mother, you just said

James: True, but you’re not wholly different from her either

James: particularly with me bringing out the worst in you, day after day

Chloe: You just don’t want to stop

James: I want to show Matilda she isn’t doomed to a loveless existence

Chloe: Fuck you

James: It isn’t your fault you can’t, and don’t, love me

James: but it’s mine if I turn a blind eye to the obvious fact, as well as their consequences

Chloe: Don’t tell me what my feelings are

James: Okay, I’m sorry

James: What I’m telling you, however ineptly, is that your feelings aren’t expressed in a manner I comprehend or appreciate

Chloe: You’ve never appreciated me

James: I do the child you’ve given me

Chloe: I’m not so sure now

Chloe: you never gave me reason to doubt that before but

James: What reason am I now?

Chloe: All of this, James

Chloe: every decision you’re making it’s about you, your family, not ours, not her

James: My family is hers

Chloe: No, when you marry, you make your own unit, it’s meant to be me and you and her

Chloe: but your focus has never been here, let’s be honest, you just fake it better now you’re sober

James: It’s meant to be you, me, and her until you decide she has to go and stay with your parents because the demands of that unit are too much for you

Chloe: Heaven forbid I struggle and you don’t hold it over me

Chloe: very supportive

James: Because my struggles are the only ones allowed to become grudges, wielded purely to suit you, how you see fit and no one else

Chloe: Your struggles?

Chloe: Partying whilst you were meant to be helping me raise a baby, yeah, I needed my parents’ help because you were too busy getting wasted

Chloe: You’re upset because I refuse to pity you for what you did, willingly

James: A baby I repeatedly begged you not to keep, knowing I neither came from, nor had it in me to be, a decent role model

Chloe: You’re selfish and evil 

James: If I were, I wouldn’t be torn up by how awful I am at raising her

Chloe: You would rather she was dead

Chloe: do you have any idea how she’s going to feel when she’s old enough to process that

James: She isn’t going to hear it from me at any age

Chloe: You don’t need to look any further than your poisonous brother for that bombshell

James: It would be quite the bombshell that she’s apparently looking to him to reveal any degree of truth or thinking it’s so from such an unreliable source

Chloe: You think you can control her, just like you’ve controlled me

James: When have I? You do exactly as you please

Chloe: HA!

James: I don’t know what you’re finding so amusing about that

Chloe: I’m like a prisoner, no friends, no life, nothing but you, which is how you wanted it so you could do what you wanted and know I’d never leave

James: Leave, nothing would make me happier than you finally taking on board the idea I’ve floated countless times

Chloe: You complete and utter bastard

Chloe: why should I, why should you get everything you want and I get left with nothing? Fuck that

James: You’ll be provided for, ask and you shall receive, all I want is my own freedom and regular access to Mattie

Chloe: No way

Chloe: 0 chance, sorry

James: Be reasonable, for once, please

Chloe: In James speak that means do what I say and don’t fight back

James: I’m not speaking in code, plain English can sometimes suffice

Chloe: Wow

James: Every second doesn’t need to be combative 

Chloe: Says the man bringing up his secret diaries and love letters to score points and hurt me

James: Only you would be hurt by allowing me even the smallest measure of privacy

Chloe: Privacy to fuck girls who can’t legally vote? 

Chloe: you don’t deserve privacy, you’re a deviant

James: Everyone deserves that, takes it for granted, in fact

Chloe: Mothers have none, she’s always there, wanting and needing 

James: Let me keep her here, at home

James: she’s looking forward to [whatever y’all adorably have planned, whether that’s tomorrow or what bedtime book he’s gonna do or whatever, we know the vibes between baby Mattie and James are immaculate]

Chloe: You’ll change the locks on me, I’m not stupid

James: I promise you I wouldn’t

James: you’re her mother, she wants and needs you

Chloe: You’ll move her in, that girl

James: Don’t be absurd, Chloe

Chloe: I’m not absurd

James: The notion I’d do that is

Chloe: As is the entire affair but that’s not stopping you

James: The distress that moving a stranger into her home would cause Mattie prevents me

Chloe: That’s the minimum you could do for her

James: Which is the maximum you deem me competent of

Chloe: You’ve never proved otherwise

James: To her I will, rest assured

Chloe: I’m not giving you chance after chance to disappoint her

James: You have no right to take her away from me

Chloe: One mention of your current ‘relationship’ and it’s over for you

James: Fine, I’ll ponder what I should mention, if tit for tat retaliation tactics are the route you’re planning to go down

Chloe: You will end things, if you intend to have your daughter in your life, simple as

James: My daughter will be in my life come what may, no matter how complicated you aim to make things

Chloe: Keep your brother away from my things

James: Naturally

[ladysomething]

hiii, Charles disliker anon here 😭

okay so i found wygig in the most random way ever, I was about to get on a long haul flight to Istanbul and I HATE flying so I was like omg I should download some fics so I went on the f1 rpf tag and started filtering for things I was in the mood for and sorted by kudos and thennn I saw a lyric from end game as a fic title (yamwgbr) and even though it was Charles x Max, the summary seemed compelling so I read the first part (and loved it btw!!) in the lounge and decided to download the whole fic + went on your page and saw you were working on an omegaverse (another tag that I love) so I was like omg I must download this too for the plane.

and I read both books on that flight which made it one of the most painless flights in my life (though I did have to make sure my friends couldn’t see my phone during certain parts of wygig lmao) and I’ve basically been following you ever since 🥹.

with regards to my dislike (it’s really not deeper than a casual dislike I would say) for Charles, honestly I just don’t find him very compelling as someone to follow 😭. like he’s just kinda…there for me? I actually enjoy max much more because even though I think he can be a track terror and sometimes I get so mad at things he does, he makes this sport so much more interesting. like next season people are like oh we want the championship battle to be between Lewis and Charles or Ferrari and McLaren and like, same buttttt max NEEDS to be a contender in some way too or like part of the equation, because he’s genuinely an incredible competitor. when it comes to charles, I just find him a bit boring in terms of being an athlete in the sport and as a personality at times 😭 esp considering the hype. and I feel like if you’re THE Ferrari driver that should never be the vibe you give but ofc thats my personal take and understanding.

While I usually don’t go for them, I have some fics (like five) with Charles in them that I like but they are generally stories where he is the ‘more successful’ party if that makes sense? like with Seb (in terms of performance) or Carlos (their dynamic befuddled even Nico Rosberg lol) or even Pierre (childhood friends to asymmetrical competitors goes harddd) because I’ve often found them to dissect his personality really deeply which for me he needs because his irl vibe is kinda bland (I feel so bad saying all this here because I know you love him and so do the people on this blog but I promise I don’t mean any of this maliciously). for lestappen since their irl relationship isnt really anything at all and there’s no real in depth interactions compared to other driver pairings, and i find them meh a lot of the time individually, I dont love to read them with each other (MOST of the time, wygig is an exception because you’ve created so much lore within the narrative by intertwining their lives at every stage).

so wygig wasn’t a hate read at all it was more of an oh this story seems compelling and has ingredients I’ve historically liked so I’m just going to ignore that it’s about this guy in this particular pairing. I would say I see your Charles as very ooc (in fic terms) to how I see real Charles and that’s what makes me love your fics lol. and sometimes you write him so sweetly that i start extrapolating his feelings to real Charles even though i have almost never felt sympathy for the real one lol (pre 2024 Monaco races being the exception ofc). wygig is also objectively very enjoyable, even without the context of rpf, despite it not being an AU, which just makes it all much easier.

and also all of this is obviously insane parasocial projecting and I don’t know these people at all but yeah these are just the vibes I get + most of my opinions on the sport are informed by being raised by a dad who thinks fernando alonso is justified in everything he’s ever done so I acknowledge that my bar for a compelling driver is quite unhinged and high lol. I don’t mean to spread negativity about any driver at all 😭😭😭.

ALSOO thank you for letting me know that next chapter is safe 😣 I really love wygig and i usually wake up to the next chapter having arrived and it’s become such a part of my routine to read it in bed with my tea that I’ll really miss it for the month I’m not reading 🤧.

also sorry for how long this is, I really started thinking about why I like this fic despite not liking Charles and it just led me down so many mental rabbit holes 😭

CHARLES HATER YOURE BACK!!!! I didn't think you would be, but I'm so happy you're here!!!!!

firstly don't feel bed. I asked for your opinion, and I'm always happy to engage in a respectful conversation!!!

next, the Taylor Swift reeling you in for big reputations ......... we're all swifties here.

now to your points, honestly half of me is gagged that Charles isn't interesting to you, then other half kind of gets it, I guess. I don't know how long you've been following the sport for, but if you're relatively new then you kind of have to go to a bit of effort to find out things about him now. you can't really tell his personality from his social media, or even his PR - you have to go diving.

but once you KNOW, he becomes compelling imo. you can kind of read between the lines with his IG captions, or see what he's really thinking from his facial expressions, but it kind of takes some effort to get there. I do personally disagree with your take about him needing to be more interesting bc he's a ferrari driver, which is entirely bc a lot of the reason he's so sanitised now is BECAUSE of Ferrari PR, but to each their own.

if you're open to it, I would love to propagandise and influence you. I can make you a Charles lover, and give you a deeper understanding of just how intertwined Ferrari and Charles are!!!

as for Max - he's the funniest guy on the grid but people are too scared to admit it lmaooo.

and idk if you're a lando/mclaren lover, but if I have to watch lando win the WDC this year I will do something bad and drastic. so. LESTAPPEN TITLE FIGHT I BEG YOU UNIVERSEEE.

I can ALSO propagandise you towards lestappen. I know you're saying they don't have any deeper interactions, but again, once you look a little deeper ............. you'll see it. ENEMIES TO FRIENDS?? THE SUPERIOR TROPE?? there is nothing sweeter (and I know a lot of people think they're not friends but, again, once you see it, you'll know that it's not necessarily the case).

I also find it so intriguing that you see my characterisation of him as ooc, which obviously is true to some extent, but I honestly draw upon all the things I see in the real him: his hunger and drive, his competitiveness, his desire to win above all else, his grief that drives him, his loyalty to his friends, etc etc.

ofc not to downplay his red flags, bc I do have SEVERAL opinions about Charles and his behaviour that would draw me vicious hate from Charles lovers, so I'm not entirely blind lol. he just also is very intriguing (to me at least!)

also am I stupid but what does "pre 2024 Monaco races being the exception ofc" mean 😭😭

p.s. if Fernando your fave??

I do think there is a huge difference now in how driver's are even allowed to behave, bc the driver's behaviour during those golden years of F1 would get them cancelled so fucking fast now. they don't really have a choice tbh. but, again, if you're open to it, I do think I could tempt you into seeing that Charles and Max are the two of the most unhinged drivers on the grid lol.

[skitskatdacat63]

Hallo o/ got another ask for the lore a day. Recently thinking about Nando and his old man harem and lead me to question if Flavio has a place in the boy king au? Is he one of Fernando’s advisors, would he be for the arranged marriage, and how their dynamic would be in the context of the time period.

— Penalanon

misc lore drop day 54/?

Hellooo!! Haha we’re on the same wavelength cause I also lowkey started thinking about how all those old men could possibly be in Fernando’s “retinue” in this au, or at least how they’re associated with him. But that’s difficult so for now, I’ll only get into Flavio. Generally I consider all the staff in irl teams to be part of their courts, or at least in their service. But the staff that typically sit on the pitwall would be in their close circle, generally as advisors or in more important roles. I’ve talked a bit about Flavio before, but I’m happy to refine his role in this post! 

Originally, I always saw him as a merchant in my mind, cause he just gives the vibe of a shady merchant to me. But merchants at this time aren’t in the aristocracy, so if he were a merchant, I think he could only be connected to Fernando financially in certain ways. However, I want him to be a close advisor, thus he must be in the nobility! I imagine him to be a lower level lord but pretty influential and very wealthy, though obviously, a bit shady. He badly wants to be the advisor to some higher lord, because he desires influence. Fernando’s father is like, oh sure, I have a role for you, you can be my son’s advisor! Flavio is so excited to finally get to do something worthwhile, excited to advise this lord’s son!  He meets the son and he’s just uhhh…a young prince, practically a boy! (realistically he’d 100% be aware of who exactly Fernando is, but I think it’s very fun for him to just unknowingly originally start as the advisor to a young prince who doesn’t actually have a significant role to play in politics.) It’s honestly kind of a throwaway job considering no one at that point even thinks about the possibility of Fernando becoming a king. But you know who does? Flavio. He’ll take the role, I mean more of a chance to mold Fernando into his desired image, and reap possible rewards later on. Even though he somewhat believes Fernando is destined for greater things, he still doesn’t expect to do too much AND THEN the whole succession issue pops up!

So the arranged marriage. I think by this point, he genuinely cares about working towards Fernando’s best interest because he really does care for him. But at the same time is probably making some shady deals behind the scenes. A war is not really in his own best interest for that. He does truly believe though it’s not the best choice for Fernando either. I said at one point that Fernando’s advisors were pushing him towards the marriage, saying things like: “Think of your potential people, your Highness! Wouldn't they be so grateful if they knew you avoided war and bloodshed! They would call you Fernando the Kind, Fernando the Gracious, Fernando the Magnanimous!! They would love you dearly, my good, gracious prince!” These are Flavio’s words. He wants the smoothest transition, I mean he’s well aware of how Fernando’s been raised to not be a king. He’s one of the only people in Fernando’s life who’s truly confident he can handle it, but also wants to play it a bit safe. He’s heard rumors of what the future emperor is like, and he’s certain they can manipulate him if need be. Though when he actually tries to be scheming later on with Seb, he’s honestly too endeared by him because he reminds Flavio too much of Fernando when he was younger. 

Their dynamic would kinda just be him being the typical conniving advisor, however with the caveat that he has a huge soft spot for Fernando. Yeah, he’s somewhat in it for himself, but again, he does actually strive to work for Fernando’s best interest. He makes wise choices like advising Fernando against starting a war. But he’s also the type to be like, “do you need me to assassinate him, Your Majesty?” or try to help him make escape plans when Fernando comes to him to complain about Seb. I imagine he slips up and says something along those lines in front of Seb, but Seb just laughs like, “ahhh your advisor says that to you too?” I guess he’s sort of a father figure, but more in the way that everything he advises kinda goes directly against everything Fernando’s actual father wants Fernando to be. So his evil daddy, I suppose LMAO. He’s a big reason behind why Fernando has the self belief to actually be able to become king and handle it. On some level Fernando knows he’s quite scheming, but he’s more blindly trusting of him than most other monarchs would be with their advisors. I mean Flavio could have just been a basic yes-man and in it purely for the esteem and money, but no, he actually did advocate greatly for Fernando as much as possible. He respects Flavio a lot, and sees his advising as one of the key reasons why he got to where he is today. Flavio taught him everything after all. Wink.

[f0point5]

What did/do you think of Vettel(when he ws around)? Please feel free to elaborate and/or ramble as much as you want, I love reading your long takes

Okay, disclaimer, I wasn’t watching f1 during his RB days. I probably would have liked him a lot in that era because I’m a slut for success, and I love me a golden boy.

That being said, since I’ve been watching, the vibes have always been off for me.

I just find him a bit…he’s got a touch of Lewis in him. Like, he comes across as a bit self pitying, a bit self righteous, and just generally arrogant in way that doesn’t appeal to me.

I don’t like that in the last couple of years of his career he took on a bit of a “grid dad” role when he was a bit of a dick to Max when he came into f1 (I know everyone was a bit of a dick to Max and I will never forgive that but that includes Seb), and I always got the sense that he was quite territorial with Charles when he came into Ferrari. It is mostly the Max thing that rubbed me the wrong way because for someone who made a bit of a meal of being bullied as a child he sure didn’t go out of his way to not be a dick to his child coworker when he was in his 30s. And then he’s all helmet swaps and writing cute messages to everybody and it’s a bit like…idk. It’s easy to magnanimous when it’s over. Again, I don’t know the guy, this is just the vibe I got. (And in case anyone was going to mention this, I know he was the only one waiting for Max after Silverstone and that he wrote Charles nice messages when he was doing sim work, I’m not saying he’s an irrevocably shitty person, I’m just saying the way he acted when it looked like he had something to lose really put me off.)

I also never liked his flirty comments. Sorrynotsorry. I am not in any way saying he’s a perv or indicting him in the way I’ve seen a lot of people try to do. I’m saying for me personally, I would not have found the comments cute if they’d been directed at me. And maybe that’s because I already don’t like his vibe. But if I’m not your friend, like your actual proper friend, and you’re saying that to me with a camera around, I will not appreciate it. Some of it I know was with reporters he knew but like when he was on a panel and he talking to the (I think they were flight attendants from the sponsor?) in the back, I’m like my guy if you want a girl’s number then ask her later. And it just seemed like attention seeking antics because he was in a relationship with his childhood sweetheart the whole time (and lord if I were her he’d have never heard the end of it, because no way you’re talking to women like that on camera when I’m at home waiting for you). It’s just not cute, to me. Cringe behaviour. Again, nobody come for me and say I’m accusing him of harassment and all that because I’m not. I’m saying that I didn’t find the vibe endearing.

And after all this, I feel like he ended up kind of adopting this “wise old man” persona at Aston Martin which didn’t seem authentic. Maybe he changed and grew but idk to me the only thing that grew was his hair. He clearly had this more circumspect view of things but I just didn’t…connect with it.

Fundamentally he has never come across as a nice person to me. He’s just the kind of person I’d feel I have to watch my back around. And hey, I’m saying this having seen very little of the guy, when he’s got a camera shoved in his face, I am in no way saying that’s his entire or even his real personality. But you asked, so I answered.

[kkmeeluqq]

o m g I’m obsessed with your art! So talented! Seb is a bottom in my mind, that’s just how I always write him( he’s baby to me:p ) , and the fact that you draw bottom!seb sebchal? Stunning. I love them they are my favorite Ship. Seriously your work is beautiful. My savior, thank you for your work!>_< <3

hiii anon, thanks for appreciating my work and also providing me a chance to talk about the top bottom thing!!! 😅 i’ve always felt kinda cringy to clarify it, but yes yes YES i prefer seb as a bottom!!!! *roar*

perhaps it has sth to do with how i analyze his character... in general, seb has been incredibly flirty with LITERALLY everyone on the grid (which defies the stereotype of germans being conservative?? well here’s a slutty german), alongside all of his cheeky behaviors (too many to list them all) just gives me the urge to treat him as a little meow meow

seb in different era has different vibes (of being a bottom), i’ll try to keep it short:

red bull: he was so bratty during his red bull days, someone had to punish his ass to cut him down to size... and i reckon he might enjoy rough sex😅..... btw he seemed so arrogant and confident in those days, he must also found himself attractive so he was like extra flirty and trying to hook up with as many guys as he can

ferrari: i’ll focus on sebchal here

-with so much experience (sexwise) he could teach charles how to have sex with men (which might lead to the scenario of seb fingering himself so he won’t get hurt by charles’s abruptness) (but in vain)

-there are soooo many advantages of having a younger top!! but i might have to type for like 5000w so maybe next time i can elaborate on this topic

-charles’s possessiveness made seb unable to seek for other guys to have sex, which is great!!! around 30yo sounds like a reasonable age to settle down with a specific person, sebastian!

-since seb is such a kind person he would spoil charles and try his best to fulfill his whatever sexual needs (i love seeing seb let charles cum inside him bc he just cant say no to charles’s pretty face) (***point: seb can’t say no to charles....!!)

aston martin: cutie lil pumpkin pie num num

yeah so overall these are probs the shortest explanation i can provide of why is bottom!seb a treasure😇🔥🔥🔥

and not until i finished typing did i realize that i wrote a ted talk length text but thank you for reading this anyways....

[itsallyscorner]

just like magic with marvel cast, the vibe is----- a perfect song for a lil b*tch with a good heart and a sarcastic mouth

just like magic is the song we ALL need for 2020😌 Start manifesting ya’ll🖤 Also thank you sm for the request I am so so sorry this took so freakin’ long😭 Love u, happy reading🖤🖤 Tried to add my own lil twist to your request:)

(A lil different from the request, but I tried to make the reader have a bit sas.)

💌.

just like magic

Growing up within the Marvel Cinematic Universe was probably one of things you were most grateful for. When you first started out you weren’t that social. You were new to the business, you didn’t know anybody and you were intimidated by every single actor you crossed paths with.

At first you didn’t feel like you fit in. You felt as if you were a burden to everyone else. You barely talked to anyone which made the others approach you out of force by the Russos. Everyone around you was talented while you were just some newcomer who had jack shit as experience. The first few years you were insecure of yourself mentally and physically. You weren’t as pretty or fit as the other women in the MCU nor did your skills live up to theirs. Which led to some unhealthy habits. Plus there were haters and movie critics who would say horrible things about you and your acting.

You had a rocky start unlike Tom Holland and even Lexi Rabe. Until one day when you realized that you had to change how you were thinking. It took you a while but all that negative thinking you were doing was only bringing you negative energy. So when you had a break from filming movies, your number one goal was to improve yourself.

Wake up in my bed, I just wanna have a good day (Mmm, ah)

Think it in my head, then it happens how it should, ayy

Twelve o'clock, I got a team meeting, then a meditation at like 1:30

Then I ride to the studio listening to some shit I wrote (Oh)

You woke up with smile on your face in a sense of calmness. The sun shined bright hues into your room as you got up from your bed. Today was the first day back on set. You guys were finally filming Civil War and you were honestly so excited. As you did your morning routine, you went over how the day would go in your head. You’re genuinely excited to see the entire cast. It has been almost half a year since you’ve seen everyone and you couldn’t wait to be back.

You took one last look at yourself in the mirror. Compared to the previous year, you looked and felt healthy. Your eyes shined and you looked well relaxed. You know like one of those face cleanser commercials? That’s how you felt. You felt like a breath of fresh air.

The ride to the studio took a good 30 minutes but it felt like seconds. You entered the set with a new sense of confidence and pride. The energy was practically radiating off you.

“(Y/n)?” You hear someone call from behind you. You turn around and see Scarlett looking at you.

“Hey!” You greet her as you approach her. You pulled her into a hug, startling her.

“Oh! Hello to you too, honey.” She laughed as she wrapped her arms around you. “How are you?”

“I’m doing great! Life’s been good.” You answer as a toothy grin graces itself on your face. Scarlett’s eyes are filled with shocked. From the previous times she’s talked to you she’s never seen you so loud or open. You were always shy and closed off from everyone on set.

Good karma, my aesthetic (Aesthetic)

Keep my conscience clear, that's why I'm so magnetic

Manifest it (Yeah), I finessed it (I finessed it)

Take my pen and write some love letters to Heaven

Eventually everyone on set caught on to your new attitude. Though they tried to be discreet about their reactions and shocked expressions, you could still see how they were caught off guard by your sudden change of nature.

Anthony watched as you conversed with Elizabeth and Scarlett on the couch in Robert’s “village” . You were probably the most smiliest person in the room beating Evans, who was eating his lunch.

“She’s like different. But in a good way. It’s like she’s bloomed.” Anthony thought out loud to the men beside him. Chris (E) and Sebastian look in your direction.

“Bloomed?” Chris snorted as he swallowed his food.

“Yeah, like she’s growing into a woman.” Anthony hummed proudly as he went back to his own lunch. Sebastian smiled at you, “I think she’s gained some confidence in herself and finally realized how good of a person she is.”

“If she’s finally realized that, I’m glad she did. She’s like a ball of sunshine, it’s adorable.” Chris smiled proudly at you as your hands move around animatedly while explaining some story to the two women in front of you.

“Y’all think it’s a boy?” Anthony wondered. Sebastian rolled his eyes at his friend. Before he can even respond Anthony is calling you over. You approach the men with a smile and take a seat beside Sebastian.

“What’s up?” You greet them. Chris nods at you as he chews on his sandwich. Sebastian greeting you with a quiet “hey”.

“So who’s the lucky man?” Anthony asks teasingly. Your brows knit together head tilting to the side.

“Man?”

“Yes man, or boy, whatever. Who’s got you feelin’ yourself, (y/n).” Anthony wiggles his brows as he shimmies closer to you. Sebastian, who’s in between you two, cringes at the man to his left.

You didn’t take any offense to the question, knowing that everyone was curious as to why you were so unlike yourself.

You chuckled before smirking at the older man, “Anthony, honey. I don’t need a man to be feelin’ myself. I did this on my own.”

Chris and Sebastian’s mouth drop at your answer. Chris laughed as he pointed out Anthony’s face. Sebastian slung an arm around your shoulder bringing you into a side hug as he laughed with Chris.

“To be fair” Chris began to say but started to laugh, “To be fair, you deserved that.” Anthony’s face went flushed as he nodded to himself. You suddenly felt bad that you put him on the spot.

“Alright, stop laughing at him.” You playfully glare at Chris and Seb. You poke Anthony’s arm, “To answer your question, I’ve just been working on myself. Thinking more positively, I even tried manifestation.”

“You know what, that’s good. You’re taking care of yourself mentally and physically. I’m proud of you for doing this for yourself, we all are.” Anthony tells you as he motions to the two other men.

You look at all three of them, all of them looking at you with pride, “Thanks guys.”

Just like magic (Baby), just like magic (Oh yeah)

Middle finger to my thumb and then I snap it

Just like magic (Yeah), I'm attractive (Oh yeah)

I get everything I want 'cause I attract it (Oh)

As the months passed, the more you evolved into another version of you. You walked with determination, carried yourself with such grace and you’ve gained confidence in your career. You didn’t let your insecurities get to you, instead you faced them and overcame them. You were tired of letting them control you.

Your change in attitude and perspective on life has definitely affected your life in many ways. Manifestation was one of the things that have helped you the most. Writing about your goals and putting that energy out to the world has helped you persevere in your job. You’ve only faced good karma; sending out positive energy and receiving it back from the universe.

So far you’ve been casted in two new projects and have a campaign lined up with Gucci. If you were told a year ago that you’d be working with big time directors and freakin’ Gucci, you wouldn’t have believe them. Life has been unreal ever since you decided to change your life around. But of course you had to thank your Marvel family, without them and their support you probably wouldn’t haven gotten to where you were today.

Looking at my phone, but I'm tryna disconnect it (Oh yeah)

Read a fuckin' book, I be tryna stay connected (Yeah)

Say it's tricky at the top, gotta keep a slim ego for a thick wallet

Losing friends left and right, but I just send 'em love and light (Oh)

As many people recognized your success many people still tried to pull you down. Some fans on social media have noticed your change in behavior and have even praised you for practicing self care. While others still tried to push you off the mountain of success you were currently on and drag you across the ground.

These were the reasons as to why you were barely on your phone anymore. You used to be invested in your phone but after realizing how much negativity it brought you, you’ve decided to slowly disconnect from it. Which led you to becoming more interested into books.

Chris (E) had even brought some of his favorite arts of literature for you to borrow. You were currently on your third book of his, Sapiens A Brief History of Humankind by Yuval Noah Harari. You were sitting outside your trailer in a fold up chair under the shade. Your peacefulness was interrupted by Tom (Holland) who had a worried expression on his face.

“Have you not seen it yet?” He asked you as soon as he was in front of you. Being the two most youngest actors on the current set, you guys were closer to each other than with the adults.

“Seen what, Tommy?” You put a finger in between the pages you were reading to save your spot. Tom pulls his phone out and began to type. He tapped on his screen and turned the screen to you.

“She’s been talking crap about you for days.” You read the article and saw that one of your “friends”, Sabrina has been speaking out about your success and how it’s changed you as a person.

“She’s going off about how the more money you get in your wallet, the more bratty and arrogant you become.” He grumbled as he turned his phone off.

“I could care less, honestly. I know I haven’t done anything to her and if I did I was unaware of it. Plus, she stopped talking to me after I said I couldn’t get her a part in a movie.” You shrugged as you placed a proper bookmark in the book.

“You’re not upset?”

“I mean it’s sad that she’s acting so two faced. But if that’s how she wants to roll, then be my guest. It’s her loss, not everyone has great taste.” You flicked a piece of hair away from your face with your hand.

“You’re not gonna release a statement against her?”

“No, probably just wish her well with her life and move on with my own.” You answered much to Tom’s dismay.

Redesign your brain, we gon' make some new habits

Just like magic (Just like magic), just like magic

Filming has officially ended a few months ago and now you guys were doing press tour for Civil War. Before you were the new and improved version of yourself, you dreaded press tours. Some interviewers were nice and respectful, but there were those who would ask inappropriate questions and were just rude in general. All you could remember during those past tours was wanting to leave those rooms as soon as possible.

The q&a panel at New York had a packed room. There were many journalist crowded in the room shoulder to shoulder. You were sat in between Elizabeth and Scarlett, two of the women who have been guiding you and teaching you about life as a woman in the business. They were also like your older sisters.

The panel had been going smoothly for the first half hour until a man with a snobby face and cocky demeanor approached the mic.

“Hello, I’m Keith and my question’s for (y/n).” He began. You nodded in his direction, motioning for him to continue.

“I think everyone’s noticed how you’ve changed and developed as a person. Obviously something’s changed in your life. So I want to know if you’ve had any intimate relationships with any of the men in the cast?” You were surprised at the man’s question. First it was bold of him to ask such a question and second it was just disrespectful to you and the others on the cast.

“I mean someone’s gotta be fucking you good to make you crawl out your shell.” The man finished shrugging nonchalantly. Robert was about to interject but your mouth was quicker than his. The men of the cast were disgusted at the man while they sat at the edge of their seats.

“Well last time I checked my contract, my job was to act, not sleep around with the men who are part of these movies.” You spoke into the mic. All the attention was on you while the room was at a standstill.

“It’s also very upsetting that you think a girl needs to be fucked in order to be confident in herself. I hate to break it to you but women are completely capable of turning their lives around without the help of men and that says a lot about you, sir. So if I were you, I’d take myself back to my seat and rethink my life because if one of us has to redesign our brains it’s you.” You finished as you placed your mic on your lap. The room was silent until the cast began to clap. This was your first time standing up for yourself, usually Robert or Scarlett would swoop in and save you but this time, you were saving yourself.

You shook your head as you blushed, shoving your head in your hands. You felt some pats on the backs and cheers from your dysfunctional family. You look up and see Scarlett and Elizabeth smiling at you proudly.

“Isn’t she amazing?” Robert asked the crowd as he hugged you. The crowd cheering you on.

Just like magic, your life felt like a dream come true, knowing that you were worth it and enough for the people around you and for yourself.

[sdv-mostly-shane]

not sure if this has been asked or written before, but what a about a 'sort of cryptid like farmer' and shane? a farmer that's just a little bit more on the non human side kinda thing, if thats alright

A special Spooktember treat for you guys- I hope you enjoy. Been saving this one until it was appropriately close enough to spooky season. Also- TIL that goblincore is a quite delightful aesthetic-read til the end to get the full ✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ:* vibes *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ they’re feral AND charming.

Just Goblin Things

Summary: There’s something sinister in Cindersnap Forest, and Shane is the one to come face to face with the creature. What he finds is a more than just a little magical, and he can’t wait to discover more.

Trigger warning : very brief, vague insinuations of alcohol; general spookyness.

“Seb, how many more until we can go back to my house?’

“Just a minute, Sam. I can hear one croaking just over there…“

“Yoba, what was that!-look, there in the bush!” A flash of green had caught Abigails eye, followed by a loud scrambling noise. She pushed herself off the ground, using Sam’s shoulder as a boost, and leaped toward the sound, searching for its maker.

“What kind of frog was that?”

“I didn’t even see anything. Probably just some raccoon or something.” They watched Abby crawl around a small thicket of bushes, peeking in between branches as she went. “Leave it alone, Abby, you don’t want to catch rabies.”

“Raccoons don’t have green eyes, Seb,” she said, as she perked her head up to listen to a faint crinkling of leaves. “Listen, do you hear that? It almost sounds like.. hissing?”

“What, like a snake?”

“No, like a-AH!” Abby shrieked, and fell back. The two boys ran towards her. “No, get back, it might see you!” She was referencing the massive pair of green speckled eyes that were now accompanied with a gnarly, toothy grimace emerging from the bush. From it, came an ungodly snarling and hissing.

“Alright, time to go,” Seb yanked the two teenagers away from the creature, and they started to run. Once they had made it inside Sam’s house, the trio slammed his bedroom door and jumped on the bed. They sat for a moment in silence, listening to each other’s panting breath. Abby began to say something, but Sebastian interrupted, “we’re not gonna talk about it. Just don’t-nothing happened. We didn’t see anything. Got it?” Abby huffed in frustration, and protested with him, arguing that they needed to get back out there and figure it out. All Sam could do was stare at his floor, stunned at what had just happened.

The next day, Sam went to start his shift at the Joja Mart on edge from the night before. Shane was working the freezer when he spotted him-he had picked up a packaged of individually sealed pancakes seven minutes ago and was still staring at it, unmoving. “Uh, you alright, bud?”

“I’ve never seen anything like it…” His voice seemed far away, but he managed to finally move, making to put away the product. He turned to him, “Shane, you live in Cindersnap Forest. Have you ever seen anything… weird… there?”

“You mean besides Mayor Lewis sneaking out the back window and crawling around the house, thinking I can’t see him?”

“What?”

“No, never seen anything.”

“Well we did, Abby, Seb, and I, last night.”

“And?”

“Well, nothing really actually happened-it just scared us, really. Made a really ugly sound and showed it’s teeth to us. It must have just been some animal… but the thing is… gah, I can’t even say it.”

Shane tossed a bag of multipurpose detergent at him, demanding, “C’mon, say it.”

“Ouch, Yoba, alright. I didn’t tell the others, but when we were running away, I looked back and.. and well, I saw it run away and it was on two legs like a person.”

“Hah, okay you got me. There’s nothing in that forest, kid, don’t think about it too much.” Shane slapped the back of Sam’s shoulder, bidding him to just do his work, and went about finishing the stocking. He’d look over, occasionally, to see the golden-haired teen zoned into space again, but he didn’t have the mental capacity to really care at that point; he just needed to get through his shift.

______________________________________________

Shane looked at his phone-11:26 PM. He’d gone out, not able to sleep, and forced himself to take a cold walk through the woods to avoid the saloon. Shivering, not just from the cold, he made his way over to the edge of the lake. He enjoyed watching the little sparkling fish swim, their silver scales glisten underneath the shallow water… Swishing and splashing and crashing-crashing? He flipped his body around to see the source of the crash-in front of the big tree, in a disheveled pile, sat the farmer. They were brushing the leaves out of their hair and dusting off their knees.

“What are you doing?”

“Oh! Goodness, Shane, you scared me.”

“You’re the one who fell out of the tree.”

The farmer finger-gunned, “You got me there,” and stood up, gathering the belongings that tumbled from their satchel.

Shane watched them, and smirked at seeing them covered in Earth matter-leaves, moss, dirt-it all seemed to have managed to stick to them as they tumbled down the tree. “You’re covered in dirt.”

“Oh, yeah I am.” The farmer brushed off their apron and body. Dirt, rocks, and leaves fell from their arms, but the moss stayed firmly attached.

Now with a clear view, Shane could see that their skin wasn’t quite right. It looked jaundiced from their shoulders down, where the color faded to a sickly vibrant green down to their finger tips. The moss had attached itself to their elbows and seemed to grow down to their fingertips. As the farmer moved about, their arms coming in and out of scattered streaks of moonlight, he could almost see it blinking at him. Was it growing on their arm? He blinked trying to make sense of it, “No, no I meant your arms have-“

“Oh, Hey Franklin.”

Shane’s jaw hung open on his words. Emerging from the Farmers.. arm moss?.. emerged a little frog. It opened and closed its mouth a few times before letting out a tiny ‘ribbit’.

“Yeah, I found this little guy a few weeks ago and he just didn’t want to leave. He likes to come with me on our nightly mushroom hunts.” Franklin went cross eyed as he focus on a little bug flittering past before catching it with a satisfying crunch. “Oh, that was a good one, Frankie.”

“Okay I’m gonna go now,” Shane regained control of his jaw, resolutely shoved his hands in his pockets, and started to turn away.

“Wait! You’re not gonna tell anyone my secret are you?”

“Tell them what, that you keep a secret frog hidden somewhere in your arm?”

“No, everyone should know about Franklin, he’s precious. I meant-you know what, can I just show you?” The farmer reached out their hand in an offer for Shane to grab.

He hesitated-he only barely knew the farmer, having really only seen them run past him at full speed with a pick axe held high above their head-but he was in desperate need of a distraction tonight.

The farmer, seeing his reservation, offered up, “come sit down with me, I’ll make us some tea.”

“I don’t drink tea.”

“Well I’ll tell you some of my other secrets?”

He was in too deep now, his curiosity overtaking his tentativeness, “Alright.” He accepted their hand; his fingertips flexed atop their hand, cushioned by the lush, damp covering of green.

Holding his hand, they led him to their crash-landing zone under the tree, where they sat down. As the farmer sat, legs tucked into each other, Shane thought he saw their body hesitate mid-air for half a second. He then was sure that he saw a little fairy ring of mushrooms pop out of the ground with a glimmering puff of orange dust as the farmers body finally made contact with the ground.

“Please, sit.” Shane pretended to not be concerned, but the farmer smiled to themselves as they spotted him cautiously glancing down to the ground as he gingerly lowered himself to sit. Satisfied, the farmer opened up their satchel and pulled out their trinkets for tea-two wooden cups, a shiny silver teapot with a mismatched spoon, and a box of vials and jars. Opening, smelling, taking, and closing the little jars, they began to make the tea. The beautiful earthy colors of the roots, grasses, and leaves peeled out over the edge of the cups. Craning their body, they reached over to the other circle of mushrooms where they crashed, and plucked a purple one.

As they filled the teacups, Shane watched in horror as the they grasped a moth straight out of the air, ripped a wing off, and shredded it into the two cups. He hoped to Yoba the ‘tea’ was done, but they pulled out one final vial. Swallowing, he asked, “Who’s hair is that?”

“Don’t worry about it.” The farmer pick up the teapot, cradling it in their palms. As the silver started to glow red hot, the farmers hair flew up, standing straight when the teapot began to steam. They poured the hot water into the cups.

“Okay, I get it, I know what this is.”

“What is?”

“I just had a few too many today, and I’m actually just super hammered right now and it’s making me see things. I’m gonna go to bed, now”

“But I didn’t see you at the saloon today?”

“Well, no, but if I think about it too much I’m gonna freak out a little bit,” he pushed his hands off to stand, “so I’m just gonna say that this isn’t real and-“

The farmer reached out their hand to him once more. He stood, frozen, as he watched twigs emerge from their fingertips, growing into branches, followed by leaves, and finishing with a delicate flower unfurling inches away from where he stood.

“It’s beautiful.”

“Take it.”

“Take it? But it’s.. attached.”

“Just take it,” the farmer smiled.

He picked it, cupping it in his palms, and brought it to his chest. He watched in awe as the flower petals began to sway, and tiny white fairies sprouted from the pollen. Transfixed, he stood holding his breath as the hazy creatures danced around the petals.

While he watched, eyes big and lit up, the farmer quietly pulled out from their satchel a little carved wooden chair. While Franklin hopped down and plopped onto the chair, the farmer plucked another tiny mushroom, removing the stalk, and tipped a mini-portion of tea from their cup into the cap. They handed it to Franklin who busied himself with dunking his head in and out of the tea and screaming into it.

Shane, remembering his need to breathe, finally gasped and attempted to sputter something intelligible out, but just as he thought of a semi-formed sentence, the dancing fairies suddenly burst into a frenzy of colorful fire. They continued their elaborate dance until the last of them fizzled out, and there was nothing left of the dancing flower except misty smoke and white ash.

“You can keep that-here, pour it into here,” they handed an empty vial to Shane, “sprinkle it on your doorstep and it’ll protect you and your loved ones.”

He did as he was told, not even questioning it at this point-he wanted to know more and how and why and what. Finished, he sat back down, facing the farmer, watching them lift the teacup to their lips. “So uh, does the tree thing happen a lot, or just at night, because I’ve seen you during the day and it doesn’t look like that.”

“No, you’re right, see the thing is, it’s when I- HHREEEEEEEEEK!”

Shane tumbled back in shock, catching himself with his elbows and hands. The farmer had let out an awful screech, showing their (formerly enchanting smile) now fanged row of gnarly teeth. In an instant, their eyes grew and melted into dinner plate-sized puddles of green. Shane yanked his head to match the direction of the farmers leer, where he saw a scruffy-looking opossum attempting to sneak their grubby hands around Franklin. The caught-and foiled-thief returned the farmers screech with a feral ‘hiss’ of its own, before it clambered back into dark bushes.

As quickly as the transformation happened, the farmer returned to normal just the same, meeting Shane’s stunned eyes with their own-now regular sized-smiling eyes. “Can’t be letting Franklin become someone’s snack, now can we?” They laughed and smiled to themselves, giving Franklin a little finger pat.

He was stunned, again. He blinked his way around the farmers face and body, searching for something that would make sense of his feelings. Was it repulsion? Fascination? Perhaps even a little attraction? The farmers little twinkling laugh would normally be very charming to him, but the circumstances of it were overwhelmingly frightening… if not still partially alluring. He settled his searching to focus on their smile-they offered it up so freely to him.

The farmer had waited for him to get settled back into a relaxed position before they continued, “Now what was it you were asking me, dear?”

“I was asking about your arms, that they normally aren’t literal trees,” he stoped, “dear?”

“Well, yeah. We’re friends now, aren’t we? Would you prefer me to call you something else?”

“… no, that’s fine.”

They sat together for a few moments in silence while the farmer drank their tea, and Shane gathered the courage to at least sip the leafy moth water. (It wasn’t good, but it wasn’t bad. He swished his tongue around his mouth to feel for any fuzzy winged remains, but couldn’t find any. It was smooth, and still hot. While he pondered, Franklin made a few flighty hops over to where his foot was resting, and jumped up onto his sneaker-he was trying to bite the laced up shoestrings.

He let out a little laugh-what a strange little animal. He looked up at the farmer and thought ‘what a strange little.. goblin.’ He let himself stare a bit-they didn’t seem to mind. They had taken off their hat by now, and revealed a pair of little pronged antlers that were hidden underneath. They were encrusted with clusters of crystals, which glittered with every turn and tilt of the farmers head. He continued to drink his tea, getting more accustomed to it with each sip, and watched the scattered moonlight refract off the crystals onto the ground. There, where the prismatic light met earth, a misting of teeny white flowers sprouted and bloomed. Shane had always been appreciative of the wonders of nature, but he had never seen it this beautiful. The farmer seemed connected to the earth, each breathing life into the other. It was humbling. And it-they-were beautiful.

The farmer finally caught his eye, and looked down, now a bit embarrassed. They didn’t mind the scrutiny-it wasn’t out of judgement, they knew, just curiosity. Truth be told, the feeling was more of self consciousness than anything. It was always daunting to show anyone their true selves, but to Shane? His gaze was so honest and searching that it was intimidating. Still feeling his eyes on them, the farmer briefly looked up through their lashes to give him a shy smile, and then turned their attention to the lake.

Shane broke the silence, “Any other goblins in their you wanna tell me about,” he motioned to the lake.

“Nah, that lake is occupied already.”

“Ah, I was just playing. Of course, it’s occupied with fish.”

The farmer was silent

He turned to them, only slightly panicky, “With fish right?”

“Mmhmm yeah fish, lots of fish.” They pursed their lips tight and took a nervous sip of their already empty tea.

Shane squinted to the water, studying it, and caught a glimpse of some bubbles rupturing on the distant surface. He scooted closer to the farmer.

With the shoulders pressed up against each other, the farmer reassured him, “Don’t worry, I got you,” and took hold of his hand.

Shane eased his body deeper against their shoulder with a sigh. He took a peek at the farmer’s face just in time to see an attractive blush warm their cheeks. He smiled, and rubbed his thumb over the tops of their knuckles. They sat together, watching the lake, while the moon rose higher in the sky.

“Did you call me a goblin?” The farmer broke the trance.

Shane let out a hearty laugh, “What other kind of magical creature sneaks around in the dark and scares neighborhood children?”

The farmer returned the laugh, and finger gunned once more, “you know what, you got me there again, Shane.” The pair filled the foggy air with the sound of their laughter, pushing their bodies still even closer together.

“If you don’t want your cover blown, you should probably stop doing that, you know, screeching at teenagers.”

“No, I don’t think I will,” the farmer said with a small growl and a wink.

It was Shane’s turn to blush, now. He looked down at their hands, still cupped together, and smiled. “What other magic secrets do you have?”

“ ✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ:* Let me show you.*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ “

[stardew-saloon]

can I request maru seb bonding momence?

Yes !! Seb and Maru’s relationship is honestly really interesting to me because like. Maru mentions Seb a few times but Sebby rarely talks about her. So it gives me the vibe of Maru trying to reach out but Seb not wanting to talk to her.

Here’s some headcanons for them :) it’s mostly just like. How they started to be more okay with each other and eventually become good siblings.

There’s like . Minor sambastian and Maru/Penny but you can probably ignore it smh. But I will be sad that u ignored sambastian just remember that ok

(Also side note im sosososos sorry i haven’t been active at all, I’ve been so busy with school and Life Stuff and it’s so incredibly hard to get stuff out. Im hyperfixating on something else and it’s just ,, really hard to focus on other things yknow? Anyways thank u for being patient ily mwah)

Seb + Maru Bonding

The first time Maru tries to reach out to Seb, she’s immediately shut down. She had a new invention that required a little bit of coding to make the program work properly, so she went to Sebastian, trying to see if he could help.

Sebastian tells her to figure it out herself. The conversation ends after that, with Maru feeling disheartened and upset.

But she’s determined! She doesn’t want to get Robin or Demetrius involved because then they’ll force him to hang out with her and she doesn’t want that. Maru knows how anxious and out of place Sebastian feels whenever Robin and Demetrius try to bring the family together, so she wants to do this on her own.

The next time she reaches out, it’s a rainy day. There’s thunder and lightning. Normally, Maru would stay inside and tinker with her newest project, but Seb was outside today. She saw it as another opportunity.

Maru puts her coat and rain boots on before she meets Sebastian outside, not minding the smell of cigarettes that followed him. When he sees her, he turns away, like he’s trying to pretend she’s not there.

He turns back immediately when she asks him how to catch frogs. Sebastian’s confused, since he doesn’t get why Maru is talking to him. Maru is the perfect kid, and he’s not. It’s like he’s out of her league.

Regardless, Sebastian shows her how. Maru treasures the small smile on his face when they manage to get a frog. Maru suggests naming it Bedelia, which Sebastian agrees to immediately. They spend more time together in the rain, talking about frogs and how to care for them. Sebastian’s done his research, since he wants a terrarium, but the basement is too stuffy. A frog would stink up the place.

So, Maru offers to get a terrarium in her room. She has multiple windows and good ventilation, so it would be no problem. They run back home, frog in hand, both feeling like the little kids again as they beg Robin to keep the frog and get a terrarium. Normally, she would say no, but..

Sebastian hadn’t ever looked so excited. He lost the spark in his eye after his father died, and now, Robin saw it again. She saw the same kid he was a few years ago.

So she agrees to buy a tank from Wally. It’s in the house that very day with little assembly required. They’re both super excited over it, but Seb tries to hide it. He can’t let Maru know that he doesn’t hate being around her! That would be awful!

They bond over Bedelia the Frog. Robin is happy that he’s not cooped up in his room all day, instead choosing to spend time with Bedelia (and Maru, too, but he gets defensive when she suggests that the siblings were hanging out.)

And the coding that Maru needed before? He teaches her how to do it! Sebastian says it’s so that she doesn’t bother him about it again, but Maru thinks otherwise. He looked so happy when he was talking about how to do it, so she asked tons of questions, even if it was something she already understood.

It was the first time they’d ever spent time together without one getting annoyed with the other. After Bedelia came around, they spent more time together. Maru opened up about her feelings towards her best friend Penny, and Sebastian shared that it must run in the family to crush on best friends. She connects the dots and realizes that he’s talking about Sam!

Maru is happy that she’s not so alone anymore. It’s not like her dad can scare away Sebastian like he did all of her other friends. It’s hard for Seb to open up to her after hating her for so long, but Maru is patient with him and tries to understand where he’s coming from.

Eventually, they’re practically best friends! They take care of Bedelia together, and then they care for her entire froggy family! Robin is ecstatic that they’re so close, especially after being distant for their entire childhood.

Umm y’all know I’m bad at ending things so uh . That’s all ! Once again im sorry for the long delay. I’ve been trying to stay consistent but I’m really struggling man :’) im in the middle of a hyperfixation on Danganronpa so it’s a little hard to write for other things. But I hope this is good !!

Bye bye love y’all :) if today is your birthday then happy birthday!!!!

[guttcd]

𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐇 𝐇𝐔𝐓 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓 ➝ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐄 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐒 . 

do you still have a ‘top 3′ ? is it the same or has it changed ? who do you most want to get to know ?

“nah, not really. i kind of spent my first day trying to get to know everyone. everyone has been super nice. think i’d like to get to know naomi a little more. hopefully she isn’t too grossed out by the whole toe thing.” her nose crinkles slightly, “romi and jenny kind of seem spoken for already huh? guess it wouldn’t hurt to see where their heads are at. i thought rhys and seb would be closed off too but apparently they aren’t? confusing. callie... is very much my type but she wasn’t giving me ‘graft me’ vibes so we’ll see! early days and all of that fun stuff. come back tomorrow.” 

have any of the islanders surprised you ? in either a good or bad way.

“i think they've all surprised me in like, how stupid hot all of them are. seriously, where do you find these people?” a contemplative hum escapes her as she brings her knees up and wraps her arms around them. “i’m surprised that they aren’t as... fun as i thought they were gonna be? felt like a couple of them had their guard up or something. it’s only been a day though. some of them told me they were a bit put out by the whole casa thing so...” she shrugs.  “hopefully they feel a little better today!” 

do you get along with any of your fellow bombshells ?

“yes!” she remarks with a wide grin. “jude is a little rough around the edges but underneath all of that vape smoke and crass british lingo i can totally see a heart of gold. zeke has such a calming energy. he's the type to just tell it how it is and i totally dig it. stella is so freaking elegant. if she has one fan, it’s me. if she has no fans, i’m dead. angel is the epitome of human sunshine. for real, the funniest dude ever. dante is the sweetest man i have ever met and honestly? best threesome i’ve had in a while. really. ten out of ten stars, highly recommend.” she laughs, cheeks flushed slightly. “he’s a good sort. they all are. i’m so pumped to be on this journey with them!” 

how was the challenge for you ? what moment was most memorable ?

“your girl got to kiss some cuties!” all cheers and whoops, charlene pumps her fist excitedly in the air. “honestly, i don’t even care that we didn’t win, we had such a fun time. except for the toe sucking part.” an accusatory finger waves in the air as she leans in, brows furrowed. “by the way, which one of you freaks put that one in? is dan schneider one of the producers?”

did you share a bed with anyone ? how did that go ? do you think you’ll share with them again ?

“i shared with callie. it was alright. we didn’t cuddle or anything.” she tries her best not to look too disappointed but it’s written all over her face. “i don’t know if we will share a bed again tonight but if we do, maybe this time i’ll have the balls to actually pull a move.” if not with callie, at least someone willing to hold her a little if she gets scared again. 

do you think you’ll get chosen at the end of the week ?

there’s a pause, in which charlene takes the moment to consider what she wants to say.  “maybe? i’m kind of realizing i didn’t really do much grafting on my first day. i think… i think i was so excited to come to love island and to meet everyone that i kind of forgot this was a competition. bombshells competing to get picked. couples competing to be the most solid. everyone competing for a chance to make it to the end. i don’t know.” she thinks about  jenny and dante, about romi and jude, and can’t help but wonder if she would have had a better chance with the two OGs if she had been more aggressive with her grafting. if she had been more sexually forward from the beginning instead of trying to befriend them. “i think i gotta be more assertive! show these people that there’s more to me than just a pretty smile and a couple of lame jokes.” like that one. she gives the camera a determined grin. “i got this! hopefully i made a good enough first impression for them to give me a chance.”