#i’m tired i’m burnt out my body is breaking down and I just want to sleep | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mvltisstuff · 2 years ago

Text

how to disappear - e.b

summary: after a series of tragic losses, y/n’s bright mood begins to disappear. so buck and the 118 try to bring it back

evan buckley x reader

this lowkey broke my heart a bit 🥲 i am def not the biggest fan of this, it was just rushed but i hope you still enjoy, leave any requests you’d like i’m in a big 911 writing era :)

10 minutes of cpr on the way to the hospital, rapid beeping on the machine, blood on the ground. hen places a soft hand on y/n’s arm, and pulls it away from the patients body. “y/n,” she says, making pitying eye contact with her. “time of death, 14:36.”

y/n sits back with a brush to her hairline with the heel of her palm and a sigh. she looks down at her hands and uniform, covered in a man’s blood. a son, a friend, and she feels like she just took that from him.

it’s been person after person, it feels. like she’s failing at her job and is failing all these people. she wants to scream. a few days before, she had lost a girl, new to adulthood, who had driven her car off the side of the road due to a drunk driver. her best friend, watching from the side and being held back by bobby and athena, was wailing in agony from watching the life escape her soul sister.

that wasn’t the last time, it’s been a few. everyone tries to reassure her that she did everything she could, and she knows she did. but was it enough? y/n’s been quiet, not wanting to hurt anything else around her. she felt like everything was glass in her hands and she couldn’t help but drop it. her eyes were dry and red from the sleepless nights and tearful showers, and her arms were tired from the endless compressions and the feeling of being completely burnt out.

buck had recognized this feeling, they all had, but it hurt to see her beating herself up so much over it. y/n already felt ridiculous, as this is partially what she signed up for, and he didn’t want her to feel ashamed. the 118 has been assigned to a ton of casualties and bad accidents recently, but it seems like they’ve been piling up and she feels like it is a result of her work.

everyone knows y/n is great. she’s smart and careful in her work, always checking over herself and being gentle with everyone, young and old.

another quiet night at home, y/n picks around her food not being able to find her appetite. the screams of the friend from earlier rang in her ear and the flatline of machines were stinging her brain. the pounding headaches were washed away with another tylenol, as buck tries to start another conversation.

“so, um,” he starts, quietly. “eddie invited us over to dinner tomorrow, do you wanna go?”

he tells a white lie because buck sort of invited himself to dinner. he wants to help y/n, and make her feel better and know that there are people still alive from her rescues. “maybe, i’m not sure.” she says, not having the energy to go tomorrow as she wants to just come home and fight with her sleep again. buck nods, deciding not the fight it. his heart breaks seeing her in this condition, and it pains him even more to know she’s helped him in this situation. he’s had his own losses, and he so desperately tries to climb out of the pit it puts him on. y/n was always the hand, the ladder that he called to climb out. he wanted more than anything to be hers.

they don’t teach you in training how to deal with this. they warn you, surely, but you always try to sugarcoat it in your mind. however, the agonizing sobs and screams will wake you up at night. you remember the names, the family, the details, the autopsy, the medicine that was inserted. every small detail haunts you, until you learn to handle the pain. it never gets easier to lose someone on the job, but the embraces and relief from saving someone is an incredible feeling.

“i’m just going to head to bed,” y/n says, her voice cracking as it’s barely above a whisper. she walks over to buck, placing her plate in the dishwasher. “i’ll meet you upstairs, i’m going to shower first.”

buck nods and gives her a sweet smile that conceals a bit of pity. watching her smiles fade from feeling like she’s not good enough makes his heart skip a beat in the worst way.

a few days later, y/n stayed a little longer at work than buck did. maddie had asked him to watch jee-yun, and when y/n walked in, she saw buck playing with her in their living area. he has a bright smile on his face in response to the little words and babbles from jee. “hey, baby. wanna come join us in here?”

she had completely forgotten that they agreed to babysit. she sighed and mumbled at buck for a minute. “i, um, forgot we’re watching her.”

“it’s ok, we just got done pulling uncle bucks hair out,” he says, scooping jee up and blowing light kisses into her baby cheeks. “who’s that, jee? y/n’s home!”

y/n forces out a small grin, making the side of her mouth raise a bit. “sorry, guys. i was gonna call it an early night, it’s been a really long day.” she replies, because she has no more energy left to give. she feels like shit, leaving her boyfriend and his niece alone, who she adores completely. she doesn’t want to bother their time together.

“oh,” buck says, surprised. y/n never denies extra time with jee-yun, always begging maddie and chimney to bring her over for a bit. “i get it, honey. go lay down.” he says, the smile on his face growing again in attempts to make her feel more comfortable.

“thanks, buck.” y/n walks over to the two, leaving a kiss on bucks lips and one on jee’s forehead. when she walks away, stepping back up the stairs like her muscles are worn out, jee mumbles out the few letters of her name.

“i know, jee-yun,” buck says, comforting her. “she’ll be back soon, i hope.”

days pass and y/n’s brightness that comes into the room when she walks in still isn’t back. buck has tried to give her space, but also giving her the love she needs to feel better. sitting around the table, the team talks for a little.

“kid, something on your mind?” bobby asks, taking a bite of his breakfast while looking at a zoned-out buck.

“s-sorry, cap,” he stumbles over his words. “it’s y/n. i just feel so bad, i wish i could magically fix everything but…”

“it’s hard, she’s been really taking it on these calls.”

“i’m just worried, i don’t know how much more stress she can handle.”

“she’s tough,” eddie adds. “i think she just needs time.” buck nods, still feeling indifferent on the situation.

the alarm sounds later in the night, and they climb into the truck for the last call of the shift. they’re all tired, ready to go home, but also ready to face whatever battle the world has for them tonight. y/n rides in the back, glaring out the window. she listens intently to the instructions in her headphones, and they climb out of the truck.

they see yet another tragic incident on the side of the road, a massive delivery truck had been completely turned upside down with two people inside of it. they team had all sprint up the the flipped vehicle, getting on the ground to see the damage to their bodies. “hi, sir,” y/n says first. “can you tell me your name?”

“r-richard.”

“ok, richard, can you tell me if you feel this?” y/n applies pressure to his legs. he shakes his head, and begins to panic at the numbness in his lower half.

“it’s ok, stay still,” y/n reassures him. “we’re gonna help you. can you tell us your friends name?”

“his n-name- is tyler.” he answers. “am i going to die in here?”

“we are all here to help you, richard, you are in some of the best hands out there,” y/n stands up and faces hen and chimney. “we have numbness in his legs, passengers name is tyler.”

“got it,” chim says, jogging over to see his friends condition.

on the side, after excusing themselves, the team meets up. “driver is not looking good, cap. i think the damage was already done when we got on scene.” hen says.

“can we get the other person out safely?” bobby asks, hesitantly. they all nod, knowing what is going to have to happen. “he’s pinned under that seat, he doesn’t have enough time.”

“what? no, we have to get both of them out!” y/n interjects.

“we can’t, y/n. we have to keep richard comfortable while they work to get tyler out.”

“but-“

“there’s nothing we can do, y/n/n,” buck says, stepping in. “there’s nothing that can save him.”

y/n keeps her cool, just barely letting the pot boil over the edge. she walks back over to richard without any directions, but knows that she is the one to keep him comfortable. “this is it, huh?” he coughs a bit, blood pooling at the corner of his lips.

“you have a family, richard?” y/n asks, hoping to keep his mind off the pain that has already been minimized with morphine. no morphine in the world can save his family from the pain they’ll endure.

he nods, slowly. “i have three girls and two boy, and my beautiful wife.”

“wow, a full house, isn’t it?” y/n laughs.

“we have, two dogs too.”

“can i hear their names?”

“the girls are, layla, and she’s the oldest.” he starts, ready to take the time to explain his precious kids. tears are already forming in y/n’s eyes, and she’s relieved he is able to talk over her. “she’s so smart, she was valedictorian, jesus, i was so loud at graduation. and then there’s jake, he’s so amazing, he’s the sweetest kid. and then there’s makenna and sarah, they’re two little,” he pauses to take a few deeps breaths. “firecrackers. and then the youngest is nathan, and he is a r-replica of his mom.”

“what’s their mom like?” the drilling and buzzing from the other side is faint, the two’s thoughts being drowned out by the stories of his family.

“oh, she’s amazing,” he smiles, with red-stained teeth. “the- the most beautiful woman. you think i could call her?” her shaky hand reaches over to his phone that had fallen out of the truck and onto the top. she puts the phone up to his ear, holding it, as some more jargon about the rescued man comes through.

“h-hey honey!” he says, like it’s almost muscle memory. “i, uh, it’s ok, i just wanted to call and see how everything is.” he smiles at the chaos on the other side. “can you, uh, put me on speaker phone?”

the tears are falling down y/n’s face freely, as the sirens of the other ambulances are turned on to drive away with other paramedics. her breaths are shaky, and the team gathers behind them. glass cuts the skin on her knees, but she is not fazed by the feeling. the husband, son, father, says his final goodbyes to his family, and the final breath from his lips is stolen in a matter of seconds. one of the police officers leans down and takes the phone, speaking to the widow and her young family.

y/n places a few fingers on the side of his neck, feeling for a non-existent pulse. her voice cracks, and a few broken cries come out of her sad mind. “i’m so sorry, richard. i’m so, so sorry.” she repeats, over and over again before her boyfriend has to remove her from the nightmare. she yanks her gloves off and wipes the mix of blood from her hands, sweat, and tears off her face.

buck has never seen her breakdown like this, and it was honestly one of his biggest fears. he knew it was going to happen, he just hoped he would make her feel better before it did. “i really tried, buck, i did, i couldn’t keep him up…”

“i know, it’s not your fault. none of this has ever been your fault.”

as y/n’s pained thoughts surround her mind on the way back to the station, she climbs out of the truck and slowly walks back into the locker room. she ignores everyone around her. she tries to ignore everyone, but buck is too quick to understanding her that he is following right behind.

“let’s just go home, buck,” y/n says, her voice is raspy from the sobs and exhaustion.

“i need you to know that you are doing everything you can,” he says, stepping closer to her.

“i know, buck. i’m not doing this right now.”

“you are amazing at this y/n. it is not your fault. these people were doomed from the second they called into dispatch. if anything, you were there for them when we got there.”

“then why? why does this keep happening, buck? since you seem to have an answer for all of this why can’t you tell me that? why does it feel like it’s my fault?” she snaps, raising her voice with him near. she’s not yelling at him, more at herself.

“y/n, please,” buck whispers. “i don’t have the answer for everything. but i know for a fact that you are doing the best you can. and that is enough. and i will say it is enough for the rest of time until you believe me.”

y/n stops and stands still. she looks at him with sad eyes, her mouth opened lightly. she shrugs her shoulders and feels like every word is draining her from everything she has left. “i cant sleep without hearing them, buck.”

“oh, my god. baby,” he says, rushing over to her and pulling her in before her heartbroken knees gave out under her. his arms wrapped around her waist and sat her weak body down on the bench. he held her until she had nothing else to weep out. “let’s go home, love.”

several days later, and several shifts later, y/n had started to feel more normal. things had been looking up, but she was still dealing with the loss of her patients. it never would not bring her pain, each bruise would never heal, but she would rather not forget about them.

buck had taken her out of the house for a day, meeting up with everyone for dinner. they all had been supporting y/n in their own ways. spending time with her, listening to her, giving her advice, and just being there for her was the best they could do. they figured it would be good for her to spend time out of the firehouse and their small shared apartment.

her bubbly personality wasn’t back yet, as she still thought about the casualties consistently. they still haunted her dreams and lay in her brain. having buck there made everything easier. the way he cared for her and never judged her feelings had caused them appear more valid. having someone that understands you like that can open doors to new feelings so fast.

sitting around, they all talked for a bit as y/n still stayed quiet, her hand and bucks never unwinding. her grip on his soft hands has been still like they were stuck in cement. being able to listen to his voice and the casual meetings between everyone brought her back to reality.

“hi, sorry, excuse me?” a woman said, standing next to another one. she had a hearing aid in, and was doing sign language while making eye contact with y/n. “i had just recognized the whole team, and i remembered seeing you. i wish i could remember your name, but it must’ve gotten mixed up somewhere.” the lady signs, pointing at y/n. “you saved my life, you came right back into that building and i would not be here today. you saved me and my family. i wish i could give you all the world, but seeing your face still brings me comfort. so thank you, from the bottom of my heart.”

y/n was completely speechless. she had no idea what to say. her eyes were welling up again, but she blinked them back down and tried to force a few quiet words out. “of course, i’m so glad you remember me! that’s what i’m here for.”

her interpreter signs y/n’s words back to her, and she blows a quick kiss to y/n and walks away with a bright smile. y/n faces back around to buck, with a shocked smile on her face. it was bright, and it seemed like something that reminded her of all the good in this world that she has done.

buck knows that aside from a beautiful face, her soul had a wonderful outcome on the people around her. he wanted to give her everything and make her feeling like the most loved person on the planet. his admiration for her and complete head over heels mind brings him back to her hold every day, and he would spend the rest of his life being her hand to hold.

#911 #911onfox #bobby nash #eddie diaz #evan buck buckley x reader #evan buckley #evan buckley fanfic #evan buckley x reader #athena grant #henrietta wilson #howie han

478 notes · View notes

stellaistryingtowrite · 7 months ago

Text

working late

Friday overtime has burnt out all your strength and energy. How could Akai possibly light it up?

shuichi akai x reader

cw: no cw, reader's is referred as a Miss, no physical description but reader is a FULL-GROWN WOMAN with a FULL TIME JOB. no angst, yes comfort. lots of kisses.

authors note: as much as i hate to admit it, likes and reblogs DO matter. i didn't expect my boyfriend!akai headcanons to receive 26 likes, i thought i'd get 3—maybe 6 at most. no hard feelings, detco isn't very popular. but i got 26 likes and i thought "wow there are other people who are starving for this content just as much as i do" so i decided to quickly write another one as a thanks. i hope you enjoyed this!

You tilted your head to your left and right—hearing a loud crack with each turns. Releasing a heavy sigh, you leaned back against your chair and blearily stared at the bright screen of your computer.

Working as a tech support wasn’t easy. It paid slightly higher than the average wage, but it left you with no work-life balance.

The client you were assigned to were having a major issue with the system and had to be solved immediately, leaving you at work until way past your work hour.

Your eyes darted towards the corner of your laptop screen.

20.26.

Unconsciously, you took another deep sigh and rubbed your eyes hard. Not wanting to irritate your eyes any further, your hands raised up high towards the ceiling as your arched your back and stretched your body with a loud groan.

Once you were satisfied, you threw your body back against the chair.

Fuck, you cursed inwardly. I need a fucking break.

A beat passed as you sat there in the room, alone in the darkness and trying to collect some strength to pack up and went home.

Massage would be nice, you hummed to yourself. And a long nap. Ten hours of sleep, at least.

A loud grumble of your stomach interrupted your train of thoughts. Reminded of your initial plan, you rubbed your face and groaned in annoyance.

Every Friday, after work, Akai and you would go out for dinner. He would pick you up and the two of you would have dinner in a nice restaurant. You were worried your boyfriend would mind the traffic jam and tire himself out, but he assured you with a quick peck of your head.

“You know I’d never mind spending my time in my car with you,” he assured as he wrapped his arm around your shoulders.

His words and action softened your heart, and it quickly became a tradition with the two of you.

Earlier, you had texted him and apologizing profusely that you’d be staying much longer than you had intended to, before telling him to eat his dinner and don’t wait up for you.

With the issue at hand, you didn’t have a lot of chance to read his text, but you remembered how your screen had lit up earlier with a notification from him.

[akai ❤️ — 17.14]

Don’t worry about me. 👍🏼

You shot up and smacked the laptop shut, not even bothering to put it on Sleep mode or even shut it down like you’d usually do on Friday. After quickly shoving your things inside your bag, you grabbed your phone and left your desk.

While walking towards the elevator, you did a quick scroll of your phone’s notification.

[akai ❤️ — 17.14]

Don’t worry about me. 👍🏼

Just let me know when you’re done.

[akai ❤️ — 19.43]

Are you finished? It’s getting late, I’m worried about your gastritis.

[akai ❤️ — 20.05]

Remember about your health.

Your heart ached at his sweetness, but a frown began to form in your expression.

Did he eat? Had he arrived before you got to cancel your plans with him? What did he eat?

Questions ran through your head as you press the elevator button and wait for it to arrive.

You were about to type in your reply when your phone rang.

His name with a red heart emoji next to it (you thought it’d be funny. Red. Akai. Your boyfriend didn’t laugh, but you could’ve sworn you saw a quirk of his lips.) flashed on your screen. Without hesitating, you quickly press the green button.

“Hey,” you greeted him softly.

“Hi baby,” he returned. You leaned on the wall by the elevator door in pretense of exhaustion, but it was his nickname for you that made you weak at the knees. “Are you still working?”

“No,” you hummed as you stared at the sign above the elevator door. 5 more floors. “I’m waiting for the elevator now.”

From the phone, you heard some shuffling noises. “That’s good,” he answered. “I’ll pick you up.”

2 more floors. You frowned. “Akai, it’s alright. You don’t have to pick me up,” you assured. “I’ll eat something before I get home, so don’t worry about me and make sure to eat your dinner.”

“I’m at the parking lot.”

The doors of the elevator opened right as he uttered those words.

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as you walked into the elevator. Two other people were inside, but you and them couldn’t care less of each other. None of them had stared at your shocked expression—their blank eyes stared into the distance as they wait to arrive at the ground floor.

You’d be like that too, if it weren’t for your boyfriend’s statement.

“What parking lot?” you interrogated him as the elevator began its descent. “Like, our building parking lot? What were you doing there? Did you even have dinner?”

He didn’t answer and your frown grew even deeper. You put your phone away from your ear to see why he wasn’t answering.

The upper right corner of your phone answered your answer.

No signal.

You sighed resignedly and waited for the elevator to arrive at the ground floor—not even bothering to pocket your phone.

A few seconds later, the elevator stopped its descent and the door parted open.

Brushing past the two strangers, you rushed out and quickly phoned him again.

The phone rang while you tapped your card on the automatic access gate.

It rang again as you walked out towards the open-space lobby, surrounded by glass as walls.

It rang once again when you froze at the sight in front of you.

Shuichi Akai, leaning against his car in front of the lobby.

His gaze was trained on you as he smiled and waved as soon as you spotted him. One hand held the phone against his ear.

Dumfoundedly, you raised your phone to your ear.

Across the glass, he mouthed the words.

“Wanna have dinner?”

But you heard his voice through your phone.

Realization fell upon you that he was there, he was really there. Waiting in front of you on the lobby.

Without waiting any further, you ran outside. The cold evening air greeted you, but it was quickly replaced with his warmth as you crashed yourself towards him and wrapped your arms around his waist.

The warmth spread across your body as he embraced you in return, one arm across your shoulder and the other gently caressing your hair.

“Long day?” he teasingly asked with a short kiss to the crown of your head. Warmth spread across your cheeks. You didn’t even realize you had leaned on him and slagged your body—his arm was the only thing keeping you standing.

“Long week,” you whined against his chest.

He rubbed his hand on your upper shoulder in an attempt to lift up your spirits. “Come on, you must be hungry.”

His invitation reminded you of your initial worry. Your head shot up from his chest, but you kept your chin tucked against it—not wanting to be away from him for long.

“Did you remember to have dinner?” You gasped.

Akai hummed as he nodded his head.

“How long were you waiting for me?”

You finally leaned back so you could properly interrogate the man in front of you. Instantly, the cold air wrapped itself around your body and you found yourself missing his warmth.

“Not for long,” he assured.

Your eyebrows furrowed as you stared at him in suspicion.

“Were you waiting for me?” you pouted.

Akai didn’t reply—for he knew that you’d be upset with his answer. His lips quirked up to an all-knowing smile in respond.

It was adorable and infuriating how you insisted for him to eat his dinner on time yet abandoning your own meal. Akai knew that you wouldn’t have anything to eat in your office, unlike him that had a pork bun and grilled chicken thigh in nearby FamiMa.

Your frown grew even deeper and Akai held himself back from chuckling and your pouting lips.

He took one step forward from leaning against his car and closed the distance between the two of you. Wrapping his arm around your shoulder, he kissed your forehead—but unlike the quick peck earlier, he let it rest as he tried to remove your backpack on your shoulder. He remembered your work laptop and how it weighed down on your shoulders and how you’d tilt your head from the left to the right in an attempt to ease the ache.

Once he has your backpack slung across his shoulder, he lifted his lips from your head to answer your question.

Akai kept his arm wrapped towards your shoulder—mindful that he didn’t rest it there, knowing your shoulder pains—as he gently led you around his car, towards the passenger seat.

“When you texted me,” he began. “I was waiting for you in the lobby. I thought it’d be a waste to go back and come pick you up again. So I parked my car outside and had a quick snack at the Family Mart.”

He pinched your chin in adoration. “And I think Little Miss ‘Skipping-dinner-for-work’ shouldn’t nag me too much about eating my dinner late.”

Akai tapped your nose gently after scolding you.

You pouted and relented because you knew he was right.

The gentleman he was, Shuichi Akai opened the door to his passenger seat and waited for you to sit down. Once he knew you were comfortable, he grabbed your seat belt and leaned across your body to put it on.

You couldn’t resist the small space and quickly kissed his cheek.

“Thank you for waiting for me,” you softly mumbled. It had been a long week and you knew you were ready to drop dead as soon as you got home, but Akai picking you up and waiting for you for more than two hours gave you the comfort you needed.

As soon as you heard the seat belt clicked, Akai grabbed your chin and kissed you on your lips.

You held his face with both of your arms as you returned it—just as passionately, if not more.

It was short-lasting. He quickly pulled away and kissed the tip of your nose—but he couldn’t resist himself to pinch your chin once more before closing the door.

You giggled at his affection. It was nice to know that you were loved, even when you were tired down to your bones.

The door behind you opened and quickly shut—a sign that he was putting your backpack behind you. Your head turned to watch your man (my Akai. mine mine mine.) through the window as he walked around his car and eventually open the driver seat.

Your gaze never moved from him as he sat on his seat and started the car. As soon as the engine rumbled, he straightened up and shifted the gear.

Your smile only grew when he turned his head towards yours with his ghost smile that you liked so much.

It was thin across his lips, and the corner of his eyes barely crinkled. But his gaze were warm and kind and it fills your with all sorts of love that you never realized you could experience from a simple action of picking you up from work.

“Ready to leave?”

-END-

Dictionary FamiMa → Family Mart. Minimarket chain that’s very popular in Japan, very similar to Seven-Eleven. You can buy food and ask for them to be warmed up and they have small sitting areas for you to have your snacks.

#detective conan #detective conan x reader #shuuichi akai x reader #shuichi akai x reader #shuichi akai #shuuichi akai

67 notes · View notes

lilchibi-chan · 2 years ago

Text

cuddles w channie

With work and school, life was becoming overwhelming. Too much to bare in some moments.

Some days, you felt like you were just floating above your own body and watching the world as it moved around you. Bodies just merging and moving together.

You felt yourself burning out and not knowing how to fix it or make it better.

You tried distracting yourself by hanging out with friends or doing your favorite hobbies, but your focus for even doing those things became less and less.

Tonight, you’re working on some homework when you get a FaceTime call from Chan.

You pick up and he’s smiling his beautiful smile

“Hi,” he says, his big smile flashing at you

“Hey,” you say, sending a smile back his way

“Whatcha dooooin,” he asks causing a small giggle to escape you

“Just trying to get some work done..and sadly failing,” you say, then look down at the keyboard of your computer

“You okay,” he asks while adjusting his posture

“Yeah, it’s just been a bit of an overwhelming time,” you say, your voice getting shaky

“It’s been so hard to focus and I really don’t wanna fail my classes. I don’t want to let my parents down. I don’t want to let myself down, but I’ve been trying so hard to balance everything and fix it and nothing is working. I just…I just don’t know what to do anymore,” you say, tears slowly fall from your eyes

“Hey, it’s okay to feel this way. To feel overwhelmed. To start to feel burnt out. It’s just your body’s way of telling you to take a step back. We all have deadlines and work and all these other things that can take over our lives and ya know even I can feel overwhelmed and I still try and push through it but it can also effect your health really badly. Your health should come first,” he says

“I know…it’s just hard,” you say, wiping tears from your face

“Ya know what, I’m coming over,” he said

“Wh-Chan you really don’t have to, it’s fine…I’ll be okay,” you say, knowing he’s probably tired

“Y/N, I’m fine. I’m coming over and you’re gonna take a break,” he says and hangs up

You look at the computer screen for a moment and let out a small laugh. You go back to doing homework and research until he arrives.

About half an hour later, your door bell rings, removing you from your trance the computer screen has you in.

You unlock the door and Chan has bags of snacks, food and drinks.

“What’s all this,” you ask surprised

“I told you when I got here that you would be taking a break, so I bought all your favorite things,” he says walking into your house and taking off his shoes

You smile and thank him for the stuff. You take everything into the kitchen and put some things away and keep some stuff out.

“So what’s the plan, Chan”

He laughs a little at the rhyming you did with his name.

“Well,” he says placing his hands on the kitchen counter,“we are gonna watch your favorite movies and you have all your favorite snacks here to help you relax.”

You smile and grab the bag of snacks.

“Woah woah woah, where are you taking that,” he says, stopping you in your tracks

“My…room,” you say, slightly confused

“No no, no more bedroom. You have too much going on in there and I don’t want you to be tempted to go back to work,” he says walking closer to you, eventually closing the space

Your breath quickens a bit with him being so close to you.

He takes the bag from your hand and takes it to the living room.

He then takes you by the shoulders and guides you to sit on the couch.

“Don’t move,” he says

“Okay,” you laugh out

A couple minutes later, he returns with blankets and pillows and a huge, warm smile.

You get up to help him set up everything on the couch, the he sets up the table and tv. He pulls out your favorite movies from the tv stand and you decide which one to watch first. He pops the dvd in and joins you on the couch.

He gets comfortable and then holds his arms out.

You look at him and scoot closer to cuddle with him. He closes his arms around you and it feels like what you’ve been needing all along. You felt safe. You felt seen.

He rubbed your arm, up and down, then eventually moved to rubbing small circles on your temple and the side of your head.

The combination of this, listening to his heartbeat and feeling his chest rise and fall was starting to make you feel sleepy.

You snuggle deeper into him and he holds you a bit tighter, further comforting as you adjust. You close your eyes and drift off to sleep without realizing.

Chan kisses the top of your head and rubs small circles where his lips previously were. He waits for you to be fully asleep before turning of the tv, trying not to disturb you too much and joins you in sleeping, still holding you close.

Hope you all enjoyed this and I hope it lifts your spirits if you’ve been feeling a bit down.

CHANNIE IF YOU SEE THIS, NO YOU DIDN’T!!! I KNOW YOU SEE EVERYTHING BUT YOU DID NOT SEE THIS!!! (this is a joke btw, I don’t think he’ll see this ever)

#stray kids #stray kids headcanons #stray kids imagines #stray kids fluff #skz #skz headcanons #skz fluff #skz imagines #bang chan #bang chan headcanons #bang chan fluff #bang chan imagines #channie #christopher bang #christopher bahng #stray kids stay #skz stay

483 notes · View notes

daisysundae · 26 days ago

Text

I have this fantasy that keeps running through my brain…

It’s late at night and I finally get home from work. I can finally make myself a little something to eat!

I turn on the stove and start to boil a pot of water or put a pan down.

I’m so relaxed and tired I don’t even hear the sound of him walking up behind me.

At least not until he grabs the back of my hair and puts his knife to my neck.

“Don’t move. Don’t Scream.” He says as the knife presses into my skin, but not yet enough to break my skin…

He pulls down my pants and moves his hand from my hair to over my mouth. He takes that knife and moves it lower. Against my cunt, he starts to gently rub the blunt end of the blade,.

I hear his heavy breathing in my ear, noticing his huffing and puffing through his black mask.

He begins to gently grind against the back of my body.

He’s almost hesitant with how delicate he’s being with my body.

I still can’t move. Stricken with fear…but my panties began to be come moist and gooey all at the touch of that blade.

He seems to notice and drops the knife before desperately pushing his gloved fingers against my cunt. He pressed at my leaky hole and seems to huff louder in my ear. His body letting out shaky little moans.

It’s like he doesn’t want to hurt me but the animalistic part of his brain just can’t resist..

He jolts, his hand dripping from my pussy and to his belt. I move as if to try and run but his one hand once again takes hold of my fluffy brown hair. He pushes the pot or pan on the stove aside and pushes my head down over the open burner.

I can feel the over whelming heat start to rise up against my cheeks so close to being burnt. The sound of a belt jingling barely filling my ears.

Tears begin to run down my face and sizzle, as they land on the stove burner. The hand in my hair carefully holding me just a few inches away.

I feel his long, boney fingers force my underwear to the side, before suddenly entering inside me. Wiggling around inside of me.

It was only for a moment before he pulled them out. Wiping the two fingers on my hips before tightly gripping my side.

I feel him jolt and push himself into me. Starting to roll his own hips against me, pushing himself in and out of my gooey little body.

tears roll down my chubby little cheeks still burning up on the hot stove burner.

The hand around my mouth gripping tighter as my cries start to vocalize.

“F-fuck- I-I’m sorry-“ his awkward voice squeaks out of the mask, between his huffs and moans. “I-i can’t help it- I had too-“ all while he thrusted harder in an out of my wet pussy.

His hand on my hip drifting down. Making its way to my clit, that had been so lonely up to this point. That little stimulation to my most sensitive parts began to push me over the edge. My body clenching around him as I cried.

My body finishing as he r@ped me over the stove. His own body becoming weak as I clenched around him. His moans and apologizes all spilling out as he just pressed his dick against my cervix, just letting himself cum inside. He continued to hold me still for a moment after he came, before slowly pulling himself out.

He fully let go of my body, which just dropped to the floor. All beaten and abused, just thankful to not have my skin burning up over the stove..

#cnc text #r@pe fantasy #r@pe k!nk #cnc rough #breeding k1nk #cnc k!nk #free use slvt #r@pe threats #r@petoy #r@pe slvt #r@pe m3 #abuse k1nk #knife k!nk #knifeplay #bd/sm breeding #br33d1ng #r@pedoll #r@pe text

18 notes · View notes

thehottiesknoweren · 1 year ago

Text

Keep that toxic ass love

“If that’s the way you love then i don’t want any of that shit”

Choso x reader

Tw: toxic relationship, breaking in and entering, smut (poorly written sorry), choso breaking shit/destroying stuff and overall needing therapy, mentions of pregnancy ( barely even there dw)

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

It was a regular Saturday for you.

Cleaning,

Cooking,

And fighting with choso.

You sighed as he kept blowing up your phone, he was cursing your out one minute and professing his love the next and honestly it was exhausting,

Last night you went to a party with your friend and posted you having fun on your story, drinking, smoking and just being a vibe.

You and Choso hadn’t been speaking to each other for at least a week, you guys were on a break, Or more like he was on a break and you were just done with his ass completely.

After viewing your story he spammed your phone with a bunch of nonsense which you didn’t reply to and simply just blocked him.

That was a mistake.

Ten minutes later he was at your house slashing your tires, and then he quickly drove away when he was done.

He then messaged you from a different number rambling again which you also blocked but that didn’t stop him.

No.

He just kept getting new numbers and you decided to feed into him a little because why wouldn’t you if he wasn’t going to leave you alone?

Choso: people who love each other don’t go out with other people while they’re just taking a break from the one they love.

Y/n: you used the wrong “they’re” it’s *their* 💀

Y/n: someone who loved you wouldn’t care about that yet I do doesn’t that tell you something goofy?

After sending that message you blocked his number again and put down your phone but who would’ve guessed this man got a new damn number.

“Text now need to take away his damn subscription or some shit damn” you yelled to yourself.

Choso: you don’t love me yet that’s all you could say when you were creaming on my dick huh? Lying ass bitch.

Y/n: never creamed on your dick. The orgasms you gave me were so weak they wouldn’t have been enough to cover the tip. All that dick yet you don’t know how to use that shit…. And how you love me but ima bitch? I see why your mother didn’t want your bipolar ass. Leave me alone don’t you got better things to do?

Y/n: And another thing, yes I don’t love you. That left last month when you thought it was okay to buss out my windows and made me cut up my thighs piece of shit. I wish you were swallowed.

Choso: I paid for the window and kissed every scar I left on your body. I didn’t mean for it to go that far, I just blacked out,

Choso: I know I’m acting crazy but I need you baby, I need my baby give me another chance I’ll get help I’ll make it right,

Y/n: Every time I do you hurt me. Do you know how much shit you’ve done to me? Choso I’ll probably never be with another man and I know that makes you happy but it shouldn’t, you’ve hurt me so bad, physically, emotionally and verbally I can’t even want a relationship. Just stop coming around I don’t need you.

He stopped texting you after this and you went to go lay down in your bedroom, sobbing in the process.

You knew deep down you loved him and wanted to be with him, he’s all you knew.

He’s the first person to explore your body and teach you what feeling good in bed meant, he was the first person to take you on dates, shopping sprees and wouldn’t let you lift a finger when you didn’t feel good, he always took care of you, did you lie earlier to hurt his ego? Yes but you had to.

Because he was also the person who slut shamed you, insulted you, broke into your house, broke everything you owned, just a few weeks ago he cut up most of your clothes that he didn’t like and burnt them, he also never knew when he was wrong and would blow the smallest thing out of proportion when you proved him wrong saying you were ungrateful.

And do you know how he solved all of this?

Sex and shopping spree’s

but to be honest you were pretty sure the sex was for him. He would destroy your health in every possible way and then he would only opt to take you shopping and then after that he would get you into the bedroom and fuck you until you were crying his name and spewing affirmations of love.

And you couldn’t take that anymore. Everyone told you that you deserved more than a man who only offered you sex and money, and although you didn’t really believe them and wanted to be with Choso you noticed that being around him only hurt you

As you were deep in thought you weren’t aware that your breathing was heavy and you were sobbing, you were having a panic attack.

The bed sunk down and a pair of hands wrapped around your stomach, you knew exactly who it was

“it’s okay” he whispered in your ear trying to calm you down.

“Choso I can’t do this with you anymore” you said. Your breathing got a little calmer, “I-I’ve been going to therapy and-“

He cut you off, “you know how I feel about that shit, why would you go?” he was getting mad so you got up out of the bed,

“That’s why. Look at the way you act” you said, also getting a bit mad and confused because he just said he would go to be with you but at last it was probably another meaningless lie spewing from his lips.

“I’m sorry that I act that way but it’s because I love you, I get mad because I love you and don’t want to lose you, it’s like when I see you doing things I don’t like I get angry and black out because I’m scared of losing you but I’m not realizing the things I do are causing me to lose you” he got up and tried to hold your waist but you pulled away.

“If that’s the way you love then i don’t want any of that shit” you looked him dead in the face letting him know you meant what you said, “if your love is you hurting me any time we argue then keep it choso” you broke eye contact because you could feel yourself starting to cry.

You felt him wrap his arms around you but you didn’t stop him, he begin to place kisses on your forehead while holding you in his arms, “I’m sorry baby, please don’t cry my love” you could hear him sniffing and looked into his eyes to see tears there too,

Suddenly he picked you up and laid you on the bed quickly getting on top of you and laying down. He kissed your chin and kept saying how sorry he was while keeping his arms wrapped around your body.

You didn’t respond but you didn’t stop him and after a while you two just laid there in silence, not a word from either of you until he decided to speak again, “I’d do anything for moments like this, moments I get to hold you” he started kissing your neck,

“Choso we can’t keep doing this, if you say you’re gonna change than do it. I can’t wait for you much longer”

He stopped kissing your neck and looked at you with a smile, he knew you were giving him a second chance, “I will baby I promise.” He kissed you passionately amd you couldn’t help but be happy,

His kiss begin to go lower and he slowly made his way back to your neck, he took his time sucking on every area his lips touched,

And his lips kept getting lower and lower until he made it to the end of the bed, he was quick to take off the skimpy satin nightgown you had on, underneath it was just you in panties no bra,

He quickly stood up and started to take off his belt and as soon as he was done he wasted no time taking off your panties and spreading your pretty legs,

He dragged one of his fingers through your folds picking up some of your juices and making you moan and arch your back in the process he put his finger in his mouth. “Just how I like it. Good girl” he said positioning his head in between your legs.

He quickly put his tongue to work and showed your touch deprived pussy just what it missed.

You never touched yourself when you and Choso were arguing, because you knew he would be right back. You felt as though only letting him touch you made you crave him more and although you would never admit it to him you never saw yourself giving up on him and not touching yourself was basically a guarantee that you wouldn’t lose fillings.

Choso on the other hand would touch himself to the thought of you everyday or sometimes just the control he had on you, he would think about how he was the only person to ever have you and only person you ever allowed to touch you. Shit like that turned him on.

Your legs started to shake intensely as he ate you out and just as you were about to cum he stopped,

He got off his knees and stood right in front of you, he put his body in between your legs and aligned his cock with your entrance, “you ready?” He looked at you but you only gave him a moan in response.

As he entered you, he could here the wet sound pussy made and that was music to his ears only making him speed up his pace to hear it more

“Fuck” he said under his breath,

You were a moaning mess for this man

He felt himself get closer to his orgasm so he came closer to your face and placed kisses all over it, you wrapped your arms around his neck as he continued to thrust inside you,

Soon you could feel him leaking inside you making you arch your back, you knew he was trying to hold his orgasm so that you could cum with him because his thrust were sloppy but firm enough so that you could feel good.

As soon as he felt your nails dig into his back he knew you were cumming.

As you painted his cock he painted your insides, “I love you” he kisses you one more time before exiting your pussy,

You could feel him getting off the bed and then you saw him entering the bathroom, you heard running water and was about to doze off but Choso came and picked you up bridal style.

He made sure you peed and cleaned you both up, “you made a mess in the bed now I have to change the sheets” he chuckled while you sat in your vanity chair wrapped in a towel, you watched him change the sheets and take the other ones to the washing machine. You couldn’t help but smile at him, he was so cute.

He came back into the room this time he didn’t have that same cute look though, he seemed mad and as he looked directly at me I couldn’t help but wonder why,

“What the fuck is this?” He held up something pink and white and as I looked closely I saw it was a test.

The test.

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jjk x reader #choso #choso smut #jujutsu kaisen choso #jjk choso #choso kamo #choso x y/n #toxic choso

99 notes · View notes

chaosduckies · 6 months ago

Text

Restoration (Chapter 11)

The time has come! This took me about five drafts for me to actually think it was decent so I hope you guys enjoy it! There’s just a whole lot of little scenes I liked to make. It’s a roller coaster of emotions, you’re going to hate me but it gets better! (Please don’t hate me I will not hesitate to cry TwT) Otherwise, enjoy!

Word Count: 12.7k

CW: Death, Vague mentions of suicide, severe trauma, vague gore warning, violence, I think that’s it!

11- Ryker

It was quiet without Angela and Lucky. Mostly because Dylan and Lucky are almost always the cause of all the loud noises, but sometimes Angela and Isabelle just liked to play around. Now, it was lonely. Of course Nathan always let Angela talk with us on his phone for hours since we can always see Lucky at school, but Angela was being picked up by Nathan for almost a full week. Nathan says she’s been doing fine. She plays some games with his mom and he likes playin hide and seek with her when she’s bored. As for Lucky, Nathan says he’s just been doing his own thing. What he usually does. He also says that he’s on the phone with Dylan all the time too. Not surprising.

No worries though. They’ll be back before Christmas. There was no way I was letting them miss it. Plus, the riots and stuff have been going down lately. They can finally come home, and I really, really missed them. No matter how many times I’ve had to clean up after them or they’ve given me half a heart attack every time they’re on the edge of somewhere high in the house. They were my siblings, I couldn’t just not care.

Jasmine helped me take down all of the elevators around the house. The only bad part about that is that we can’t exactly put them back once they’re off, so it’s going to be like this until I can find the time to put some in later. They’ve never had a problem being carried around everywhere anyways.

I sighed, laying down on my bed and staring at the ceiling. There wasn’t anything to do really. Dylan stayed in his room talking to Lucky while also playing whatever game he had, Jasmine was in the living room playing with Isabelle since no one else could at the moment. Usually Angela kept her busy.

“Ry!” I heard Jasmine’s voice yell through my door. I groaned. I didn’t feel like getting up. I just laid down not too long ago, can I not get a break?

“What!” I screamed back.

“Isabelle says she’s hungry!”

I placed a hand on my forehead, forcing my body under the covers. I was too tired to do anything, but I’m pretty sure we have some leftovers from last night she could eat. Jasmine and Dylan can make themselves something. I just wanted to get some sleep at this point.

“There’s leftovers in the fridge!”

I heard the fridge door open and close, then the microwave starting all the way from my room. I finally relaxed, the pillow cold under my head and my lights off with the blinds closed, blocking out any evening sun that threatened to creep inside my room. Perfect time to go to sleep. the best part about it was that I didn’t have school in the morning either. I was so physically and mentally exhausted I could just pass out. And I did.

——————

When I woke up, it was to the smell of burnt pancake batter, making me scrunch up my nose and hurry to the kitchen, where Jasmine was currently throwing out her entire plate of pancakes that were beyond burnt. I laughed, watching her hurry to turn off the stove that was surprisingly not on fire. Jasmine just glared at me, leaning agianst the counter in defeat. I walked up next to her, smirking the entire time, “You just lost to pancake batter.”

She playfully punched me in the shoulder, laughing along with me. I looked back at the box she had used, seeing that there was still enough for the four of us. I sighed, grabbing another bowl and placing the old one into the sink. Might as well make the rest if they really wanted pancakes.

“Why’d you try cooking? You hate being anywhere near a stove.” I asked, mixing together the powder with milk.

“You were asleep.” Her voice slightly a higher pitch. I looked back at her for a second, watching as she tapped her hand on the counter.

“What else?” I grabbed a new pan that didn’t have burnt remains of pancakes and turned on the stove. Dylan knew how to cook a little bit. Jasmine would have woken him up to help her. So why didn’t she?

“Nothing. Isabelle and I woke up about an hour ago and she just told me she was hungry.” Jasmine shrugged her shoulders. I poured some of the newly made batter into a pan and let it sit there for a couple seconds. She wasn’t going to tell me. At least not anytime soon. Better to just accept her answers now before she gets mad.

I stayed silent until Dylan walked into the room, immediately sitting down on top of the counter and yawning. He scrunched up his nose, the faint smell of smoke in the air, “What did Jasmine burn this time?” He joked, earning a punch to the shoulder that actually looked like it hurt.

Everyone grabbed their plates, and we all watched a cartoon in the living room. It just felt quiet without Dylan and Lucky constantly messing around with each other or Isabelle and Angela playing with their stuffed animals. I knew we all missed them. Just two more days. Two more days and they’ll be back with us. Everything was going to go back to normal. I’d really have to thank Nathan and his mom for helping us out so much. I smiled at the thought.

———Nathan———

Despite there being two more people in the house, is was actually relatively quiet. Which was surprising given that Ryker’s house was usually filled with a huge commotion. Maybe it was because they were away from each other? I really did feel bad. I mean, they all seemed really close to one another. Plus after Ryker told me what happened to their parents… It must be hard. I couldn’t think about leaving my mom for any reason, so it must be so much worse when it’s your own siblings.

They were going back this Sunday. Things have gone down and it’s nearly Christmas so I didn’t want them to miss that. Lucky was taking a nap on the couch while Angela was busy with a coloring book my mom had bought her the other day. She was currently coloring a picture of a parrot, and for a four year old she was surprisingly good at coloring. My mom was cooking dinner. I offered to do it instead but she just argued that she hasn’t cooked for me in a while. I just left it at that.

So now I was laying down on the couch. School was out for winter break finally. Which meant only five more months until I would be left alone again. Just my mom and I. I didn’t plan on going to college, maybe just a part time job. After what happened so many years ago I’ve been afraid to live on my own. But let’s not think about that right now.

What I was worried about was what if Ryker didn’t like the present I would be giving him. The concert tickets of course. They didn’t really cost much. Like a seventy dollars for two tickets? Not bad. I had bought everyone else’s gifts except for Dylan’s. I knew he liked sports and all that, but I couldn’t get him something like that. I had zero idea and I really needed to ask Lucky what to get him, because I’m pretty sure Lucky had bought something for him before he came here. I’d just have to ask. Not now though.

I know Ryker loves reading, drawing, cooking. What else? Lucky mentioned something about sweets? Like cookies and all that? How would I even do that? I can’t just bake something fifty times my size. I had thought about buying something like a cake but how would I even get it to him? I mean… I could ask for help. Maybe from Jasmine? Nope. Get that thought out of my mind. She hates my guts. Dylan then? That would mean I’d have to ask him for a favor, and I didn’t really want to. But how else would I give Ryker a good gift?

I guess that’s what I would do. But instead of buying one I’d ask Dylan to make it using my recipe. Would he though? I mean he seems like a nice guy. I guess the real question would be if I could be alone with him for about two hours. Or if could handle it at least. I’ve really only been around Ryker.

——————

After we ate dinner, it was around 7 but Angela already looked exhausted. My mom set her to sleep in the guest room before leaving for work. I didn’t get why she always overworked herself. I knew she was tired too, but yet she stays awake almost all day to take care of us, and then leaves for work at night. When it was just me here as soon as she came back she’d give me a hug, take a shower, and then head to bed until it was later in the evening. I guess having more people in the house is making her think she has to stay up. I can take care of everyone. I didn’t mind playing around with Angela, I didn’t mind joking Lucky in a game, or going outside with everyone. I also didn’t mind cooking for more than just two people. So I didn’t exactly know why she stayed awake when she was so tired.

“I can’t wait to head back home alreadyyyy.” Lucky groaned, the tv playing quietly in the background. He was on his phone while l sat reading a book as usual.

“Sorry.” I mumbled, closing my book and turning my head to face the tv that was currently playing a movie about some cops trying to catch a serial killer or something like that. I wasn’t paying attention.

Lucky stayed quiet for a while before facing me, “Sorry for what?”

“That you have to stay here.” I answered.

“It’s not even your fault. Plus, it’s not even bad here. I just miss being with my family, y’know?” Lucky explained, now facing the ceiling with his arms under his head. I nodded my head. I didn’t exactly know how he felt about this whole situation. I’m sure he realizes why he even has to be here. Because some people just don’t like humans.

I opened my book again, trying to get at least halfway done with it before I fall asleep. At least that was my goal. Honestly I was extremely tired for no reason. I go to bed relatively early, and since I don’t have school anymore I’ve been waking up at around nine in the morning everyday. I didn’t know why I felt so exhausted. I wasn’t too worried though. I feel fine in the morning so it’s fine.

“Can I ask you a question, Nathan?” Lucky asked, still staring at the ceiling.

“Sure?” It came out more as a question.

“Do you like Ryker?”

My eyes widened. What kind of a question was that? “Yeah. He’s a nice friend. Why wouldn’t I?” Lucky started laughing, sitting up and now looking right at me, “I meant like, like him. Y’know, like a couple?”

I felt my cheeks immediately heat up at the realization. Lucky started laughing so hard he was choking while I buried my face in my hands. This was embarrassing. I tried getting rid of the red blush that just seemed to be painted on me at this point. I groaned as Lucky caught his breath, still waiting on an answer, though I’m sure he’s already assume one.

I’ve never really thought about it. I mean I do like him as a friend. He’s done nothing but help me ever since I’ve met him. I really do like being with him too. But do I really like him? I could just be mistaking it for liking him as a friend. That was probably it really. I don’t think I do. Nope. Plus, what makes anyone think that Ryker would like me back? It just didn’t make any sense. was he even into boys? Was I even into anyone? I’ve always thought that no one would want to be around me pretty much my whole life. I don’t know anymore at this point. Why were we even on the topic?

“N-no. We’re just friends.” The blush on my face was still painted across my cheeks. Lucky just rolled his eyes, “Whatever you say.”

I grabbed my book that I had lightly thrown on the cushion next to me and hid my bright red face in it. Just forget about it. Why would he ask that question anyways? It so random to ask. I was so unprepared too. There was no way I could just forget about this.

———Ryker———

The cold air outside felt great. A thin layer of snow now covered the entire city from last nights little shower, and it just felt great to be outside. Today was going to be a good day. I could feel it. Today also happened to be the day that Lucky and Angela would be coming home with us, which we were all excited about.

Jasmine had work today, and of course she was angry. It actually took me a while to clam her down so she wouldn’t be late for work. So now it was just Dylan and Isabelle with me as we headed to the bus stop to go and get them. I guess this counts as a family reunion? I mean, we haven’t really seen each other for nearly a week. It may not seem that long, but when all you have are your siblings, it’s not easy to let go of them. Let alone be apart from them for this amount of time.

Nathan had already texted me that they were already waiting. Apparently his mom wanted to say goodbye to Angela because she grew attached to her. I wasn’t very surprised. They must be freezing though. I know this kind of weather is kind of amplified for humans too. My mind went back to that night that seemed like forever ago. When Nathan had just snuggled up as close as he wanted to me for warmth. My heart fell, and a small smile appeared on my face as we walked along the sidewalk.

When we arrived at the bus stop, Lucky had practically ran as fast as he could to Dylan’s hand. Isabelle stayed in the back, smiling. I had told her before we had left to keep her distance from these two. Mainly because I had noticed how alert Nathan was when Isabelle was around. But that’s not something I should worry about now.

I crouched down, watching a small four-year old girl stumble over the snow to get to me. I let down a finger for her to hang on to while I talked to Nathan and his mom, but I couldn’t help but notice how the woman standing next to Nathan flinched as soon as Angela had hugged my finger. Did she think I’d hurt my own sister? That-that can’t be it, right?

“Thank you both so much. I don’t know what I would do if you hadn’t helped.” I slightly smiled, they smile back, “Oh you’re welcome! If you need help you can send them our way anytime!” His mother offered. She was the complete opposite of Nathan. She didn’t seem sheepish around me at all. So then why was Nathan so afraid? The thought snuck into the back of my mind, but I just pushed it aside.

“Ready Angel?” I asked, waiting for her to nod her head, but instead she rushed over to Nathan’s mom, gave her a hug then hurried back. I chuckled, tilting my hand slightly for her to climb on herself. I turned to Nathan, who waved a little before quickly stuffing his hands into the pockets and scrunching up his jacket. Just as I called it, he was freezing. Maybe he wants to come with us for a little? I have to take them shopping since there was only a couple days until Christmas, and Dylan and Lucky still needed to find gifts.

“Wanna come with us, Nathan? We’re just going shopping then heading back to my house.” I asked. He looked shocked before turning to his mom who nodded and whispered something to him. Nathan nodded his head with a smile on his face. I let my hand down again, watching him lift himself up on the first try, but still trip over thin air and fall. I would help him, but judging by the way he reacted a week ago when I was just trying to check up on him, I don’t think I really want to freak him out even more.

I thanked his mom again for helping, and we left. Dylan and Lucky were catching up while we made our way to the small store where we usually go to. I handed Angela to Isabelle. She knew what to do and what not to do. I couldn’t imagine Isabelle ever hurting anyone or anything so it was fine.

Behind me, Lucky and Dylan were laughing about something, and it made me kind of curious, but I didn’t want to bother them. Even if they spent hours talking on the phone and as much time together in school as they could, they still acted like they haven’t seen each other for years. That’s what happens when you let them share a room when they were younger. It wasn’t a bad thing though. Not at all.

It wasn’t too early. Maybe about midday so it was a little warmer, but that didn’t stop me from worrying about the little ice cube in my palm that was shivering. Was he just sensitive to the cold? It would make sense. Not even Angela was, but then again she was wearing a thicker jacket. I slightly cupped my hand a little more, watching him adjust his position and bundle up a little more. My heart fell, I wish I could help more, but I was scared that he’d freak out again if I did anything more. The last thing I wanted was for him to be uncomfortable.

“We’re almost there. You okay?” I asked worriedly, passing by some people on the sidewalk that seemed to be coming back from shopping themselves. A lot of them were carrying bags and wrapping paper. So people had the same idea as us.

Nathan nodded his head, a slight smile on his face. Just a two more blocks. I looked back, seeing that Dylan was holding one of Isabelle’s hands and smirking right at me. Lucky was on his shoulder, and I’m guessing he was doing the exact same thing. I raised an eyebrow, making them both laugh. I rolled my eyes, turning to the huge parking lot coming into view. Surprisingly enough, there weren’t many cars. I guess it was a good thing we came relatively early.

As soon as I entered the store, I was hit with warm air, slightly making it hard to breath for the split second I was under the heater. I stared down at Nathan, who looked relieved, but he still felt like an ice cube in my hand. Just give him some time. He looked like he was doing better already. A small smile involuntarily formed on my face.

“Sooo it’s only Lucky and I picking out gifts today?” Dylan walked beside me.

“Well yeah. If Isabelle and Angela want to get some things too.” I shrugged my shoulders, walking over to the sitting area where the small deli stand was. There weren’t too many people here, and I was just kind of here to make sure everything would be okay. I needed to get gifts too, but I just need to go pick them up when the order is done.

“Alright. We won’t be long.” Dylan grabbed Isabelle’s hand again, asking her and Angela if they wanted to go pick out gifts for everyone. I laughed when they both cheered. Meanwhile, I let Nathan down on the table. It took him a while to catch his balance, but he just sat back down on the table instead of the human-sized table on top. It’s not like I minded though. We’ve shared a desk together since the start of school anyways.

“Feeling better?” I asked, holding my head up with one of my hands.

“Y-yeah,” He stuttered, playing with his hands, “Why’d you w-want me to come a-anyways?”

I shrugged my shoulders, “Why not? You could have said no if you didn’t want to come.”

He thought about his response for a bit, “Thank you.”

I was a bit surprised. Why was he thanking me? What did I do for him? Get him out of the house? I was about to ask what for, but I wasn’t going to. He probably has his reasons. Whatever’s going on in his mind I guess. But I could say I was grateful that he said yes. I would have probably just been on my phone while waiting for Lucky and Dylan to pick out gifts. It gets boring.

Crowds of people were leaving and some were entering. Every time someone had passed by us I couldn’t help but notice Nathan inch closer to me. Right. It’s been a while since we’ve really hung out I forgot he doesn’t really do well when other people are near him for whatever reason. I used my free hand to hide him from everyone’s sights. Maybe he’s just reticent. It wouldn’t be shocking. No offense!

“Um, what are you doing for Christmas?” I tried taking his mind off of whatever was going on in there. He slightly flinched, then shook his head like I had just brought him back to reality, “Ah, um, reading? We… We don’t r-really do Christmas. Just hand each other gifts and th-that’s it.” He smiled like that’s normal. Then again, as far as I know it was only him and his mom. Still, it must be pretty sad that the doesn’t really celebrate.

“That’s it?” I looked at him sadly as he nodded his head. Usually we just kind of decorate together, which was why I hadn’t even set up the tree yet, but then Dylan and I make dinner, and we just open gifts. It’s not like this big thing though. It used to be when my parents were still here.

“If you want to you can celebrate with us. You don’t need to get us gifts or anything either.” I offered, making him laugh. A confused look was plastered on my face before he explained, “I kinda… already have g-gifts for you all.”

I blinked a few times. That I was not expecting. When? Why? Why did he get us all gifts? He didn’t have to. Now I kind of feel bad that he actually spent money on us. Did he get one for everyone? I think he did.

“Huh? W-why?” I was at a loss for words. Of course I bought him something, and I really hoped he liked it, but now I have to worry if it’ll be equal to whatever he bought for me. My initial plan was to surprise him with it, but apparently he had the same idea. I just hoped that it wasn’t anything crazy expensive because then I’d really feel bad.

“You’ve all b-been really nice to m-me,” He started, “Oh yeah! I still d-don’t have anything for Dylan. D-do you mind helping me?”

“I mean, yeah of course, b-but how did you even…?” I was confused. How did he get presents if he’s… vertically challenged. Our size difference limits us a lot so how did he even buy gifts if they’d be fifty times bigger than himself? Even we struggle with that which explains why we all go Christmas shopping at different times with Lucky since Angela can’t walk into a human-sized store by herself.

“I haven’t b-bough them yet. I actually need y-your help with that too.” He laughed nervously. Now that makes more sense. I just nodded, smiling. Nathan was too good of a friend for me. I wasn’t expecting anything honestly. I would definitely give him a hug if I didn’t think he’d be afraid.

——————

I gave Nathan a list of everything Dylan was into, even the embarrassing stuff that only his family knows about, but I trust Nathan not to tell anyone. Eventually he found something and sent it to me to make sure. It was a poster of one of his favorite actors, signed and everything apparently. Dylan absolutely loves watching movies. Even the old ones made thirty years before he was even born. I don’t know where Nathan found that at, but oh my gosh if all the gifts are like that I am going to feel so bad that mine won’t even be comparable to his.

Right on time, Dylan and all of them came back with bags in their hands. We all left and walked back to our house. Like I said, today was a good day.

———Nathan———

Today really was a good day. I have no idea why I had thought that hits morning, but obviously it wasn’t lying to me. It’s been a while since I’ve hung out with Ryker, so of course I said yes to his invitation. Before I left my mom just whispered for me to go, like she was going out to do something as well. I knew she took off work today as well so obviously something was happening there. But I completely forgot about it while I was at Ryker’s house.

It was already getting late. The sun just barely peaking out over the horizon. There was a light snow outside, covering the already frosted ground outside. It was nice and warm inside, with the heater on and slightly blowing right on me. I was snuggled up near the windowsill in the living room, blanket on top of me and staring outside watching the sun go down. Ryker was helping his siblings wrap gifts, so it was just me for now. It was surprisingly quiet except for the faint crinkling of wrapping paper.

The front door opened wide, letting in cold air that slightly stung my face. I peaked my head around the wall that obstructed my view, seeing a girl with long, curly black hair with a few dark purple streaks walk into the house, carrying a two bags and a uniform that looked like it belonged to a gas station. I guess Jasmine was working or something? Either way, I pressed myself up father into the corner, trying not to be seen by her. She scares me. Even if Lucky said she’s a lot nicer than she’s been to me, I don’t exactly think she’ll ever like me.

“Ry! I’m home!” She screamed from across the house. I stayed under the blanket, staying hidden. I have a feeling the second she sees me she’ll start asking questions or threaten me. Luckily, she didn’t see me, and instead headed off to her room, soon followed by the sound of the shower starting.

Ryker walked back into the room, grabbing something off from a table and leaving again. Then everyone had started bringing in the now wrapped presents and placing them on the on the floor. Ryker came back with a box and set it down beside the couch. I forced myself to crawl a bit closer to see what they were doing. Setting up a Christmas tree. I’m guessing they had the ornaments in the box too.

“Alright, you guys go crazy.” Ryker laughed, opening up the box and walking to the couch by the windowsill I was currently sitting down at. He sat down, sighing and turned to check on me. I flashed a smile, earning one back.

I watched as Dylan set up the tree for everyone while Isabelle quickly grabbed some white streamers and draped all over the tree messily. My attention was turned to the still form on the couch next to me. Ryker’s chest slowly fell and rose, his eyes closed and covered up in the blanket. He looked comfortable…

Was he asleep? Probably. I would too if I had to keep up with this many people. Was it hard? Well no duh, Nathan. He always looks tired when he’s at school. Should I leave now then? I didn’t want to wake him up when I had to go. I would feel terrible. Actually, now would be a great time to ask Dylan about getting Ryker an extra gift in case he won’t like the one I have for him. The only problem is mustering up the courage to even talk to him. Alone. I think it’d be fine though. It’s only for a little bit until I can eventually make this.

It took them around twenty minutes to place all of their ornaments on the tree, but they did. None of them dared to wake up Ryker after they were done either. Jasmine walked into the room, dressed up in white sweatpants and a sweater. She walked up to Ryker, rolling her eyes with a smile on her face before she noticed me. Her smile disappeared as she glared at me. I sank back, burying myself in the blanket. What did I do to her?

She averted her attention to the tree, smiling and talking with both Isabelle and Angela. Thanking them for helping with the tree and then continued to play around with Angela in her hands. No wonder she threatened me so much when she had to watch Angela leave. Jasmine was really attached to her. Kind of like my mom.

“Boo!” I physically jumped, my heart racing from the scare. I looked behind me, seeing Lucky laughing, nearly choking. Dylan was also laughing, but I just smiled. Where did he even come from?

“Oh my gosh you should have seen your face!” Dylan let out a hand for me to help me get on my feet. It took me a while to balance myself from sitting down for so long, but I managed.

“You want to get out of here for a bit?” Lucky asked just as soon as Dylan offered an open palm. I stared at it, wide-eyed. I really only trust Ryker to hold me, but I guess this won’t be so bad.

“Sure.” Lucky grabbed my wrist as we walked on, and for the first time in my life I didn’t trip and fall on my face embarrassingly. Okay, so I had help this time but one day I’ll be able to do it on my own. Hopefully. Or maybe I won’t even have to.

Dylan took us to his room, where there were tons of posters of games and a little tv stand with a shelf full of some books that he probably needed for school and some games along with VHS tapes. I was honestly really surprised by the place. I don’t know why expected there to be sporty things like weights and basketballs. Y’know. What athletes have.

There was a bedside dresser with a few human-sized things on it which I was guessing was Lucky’s temporary room. I was guessing these two just shared a room since his other room wasn’t at all filled with things. Just a few clothes and a dresser. I’m guessing everything else was here.

Lucky and I were set down on the dresser while Dylan sat down on his bed. Lucky gave me a short tour of his own little room before letting me sit down on his bed while he sat in a chair. It was quiet for a second before Jasmine’s voice screamed from the other room, “Lucky!”

He groaned in response while Dylan snickered, letting lucky onto the floor. It was just the two of us now. I waited until I saw Lucky leave before trying my hardest to calm down before I had a actually tried to talk to Dylan by myself. I could when there were people around. What’s so different this time? I had no one to save me if I said the wrong thing.

“Oh hey, I’ve been meaning to ask you what you got Ryker for Christmas. Lucky told me you had something good.” Dylan spoke first, a grin on his face. Well I already told Lucky, so if I don’t tell Dylan he’ll just end up telling him. There was no point in hiding it.

“C-concert tickets.” I answered, hoping he could hear. I was guessing he did by the reaction. His eyes went wide and his jaw slightly opened wide in shock.

“That one band he’s absolutely crazy for?”

I nodded my head. Not the way I would word it. I actually kind of find it funny how much Ryker loves that band. I forgot the name, but he’ll remind me when I show him the tickets.

“Oh my gosh he’s gonna to go crazy.” Dylan laughed. Does that mean he’ll like it? If that’s so then I don’t need to ask for help. This makes my life so much easier. I’m so glad I don’t have to ask for any favors. It’s not exactly a grate first impression to immediately ask for something. I let out a sigh of relief.

——————

I didn’t leave the house until about an hour after Ryker woke up. It was close to midnight, but it’s not like I’m some little kid who has a bed time. Heck, we don’t even have school tomorrow so it really didn’t matter.

When I arrived home, my mom was asleep on the couch, the tv playing The Golden Girls per usual and the blanket halfway on the ground. I smiled to myself, pulling the blanket over her and turning up the heater. She was freezing. I headed to my room, grabbed a pair of clothes, took an extremely hot shower, and buried myself under the blankets. Things were going great. Maybe life really didn’t hate me all that much.

———Ryker———

It was Christmas Day. The day everyone was waiting for. Especially Angela and Isabelle who woke me up at six in the morning to wish everyone in the house a merry Christmas. I admit, I was just the slightest bit annoyed, but that was because I went to bed late at night cleaning up and setting up gifts. I also had to take out some food to defrost for later.

This morning was a huge mess. Even if we weren’t really doing anything until later, I still had to go pick up a few things before. The day before I helped Nathan with the gifts he had bought, which by the way he ordered online (I don’t know how I didn’t think about this sooner) I wrapped the one’s I could while he wrapped the other two that belonged to Lucky and Angela. I was honestly surprised at how thoughtful he was. He even bought one for Jasmine and I know for a fact that Jasmine would absolutely love it. Although she doesn’t like to admit it, she absolutely loves stuffed animals. I just don’t know how he even knew. Was he just guessing? Then I also noticed that he was hiding mine from me. I wondered what it could be, but I would find out later today.

I also had to go pick him up today, but that wasn’t my priority right now. I planned on going early in the morning, but the snow was coming down pretty heavy so I had to wait. I wouldn’t have minded heading out there, it’s just I didn’t want to get sick. I rarely do, but when it does happen, it’s terrible. So now it was almost four in the afternoon, only about two hours before all the stores started closing. Just barely making it in time to go pick up the cake Jasmine had ordered. Why she didn’t get it herself? I had zero idea. I would have made her get it if she hadn’t been half asleep.

Once in the store, the sweet smell of strawberry and chocolate filled my nose. Curse my sweet tooth. Where did she even find this place at? It was like in the middle of nowhere, yet it looked so nice inside and smelled delicious. A woman walked up to the counter, her apron dressed in icing and batter.

“Hi! Did you have an order?” She smiled, ready to tap away at the screen in front of her.

“Oh, um, I think it’s under the name Jasmine?” I replied, not being able to take my eyes off of the amazing looking cookies that were displayed.

“Yup! Let me just go get the box.” She left the room. Jasmine purposely made me come get this. She was doing something at home, and she thought she could distract me. Damn it it’s working.

The woman came back with a white box and typed something in the computer before l grabbed the box, and I guess she saw me looking at the displays because she just laughed, “I’ll give you a small box for free. How’s that sound?”

“Yes please.” I almost immediately replied, laughing along with her. I swear if Jasmine makes fun of me for this when I get home… I was handed another small box while I thanked the lady and left.

When I walked in the house, Jasmine was waiting right at the front door, a huge smirk on her face. I glared at her.

“Why the extra box?” She could barely hold in her snicker. I rolled my eyes, “Shut up. You’re not getting any.” I stuck my tongue out immaturely, while she tried reaching for the extra box I was holding just above my head. She gave up about two minutes later, snatching the cake from my hands and muttering something as she made her way to the kitchen.

I looked at the time, reading six thirty already. Now would be a good time to go quickly pick up Nathan. I gave him a quick text, placed the box of cookies in my room, and went back out.

——————

It only took me about half an hour to walk over there and back. Everyone knew Nathan was coming, and I don’t think I’ve ever been more excited. I mean, he’s never had a real Christmas according to him, so I’m glad I can at least give him the opportunity. Even if we aren’t family or anything, I think it’s a nice change of things. Plus, afterwards the younger ones go to bed while the rest of us stay up a little longer and go to our separate rooms. Really I was the only one alone because Jasmine falls asleep almost immediately. Nathan was actually staying the night, and not in the human accommodating house. I didn’t want him to be alone so I had offered to make a little space for him in my room. He agreed.

So now we were at the house, Nathan sitting down in my room away from the chaos happening. I was cooking, Dylan clearing the middle of the living room for later, Jasmine keeping the little ones busy, Lucky was taking a shower. Things were going great surprisingly enough. This was only the second time time we’ve celebrated without our parents, so I was expecting something to happen, but everyone seemed happy. The first time was hard for us, and we barely even wanted to celebrate, but it’s what our parents would have wanted, so we kept on going.

The food was relatively done, I just needed to go get some plates and get everyone in here. I went to my room, finding Nathan sitting on the makeshift bed I made out of some soft cloth I cut off of one my hoodies. What? I don’t used that one anymore. I would have been more than happy to let him on my bed and I sleep on the floor (I’m sure he was terrified just as much as I was about what could happen if we slept on the same bed) but I figured he’d feel bad, so I tried to make it as comfy as possible.

“Sorry for just leaving you here. I wasn’t sure if you’d be okay with the chaos happening in the other room.” I explained, offering a hand. He shook his head, stepping on and falling forward yet again. He’ll get it at some point. Hopefully.

“It’s fine.” He replied, groaning as he sat back up.

Lucky was already making the three of them a plate. I don’t really know where he learned how to do it, but he just did. I wasn’t complaining. It was less work for me anyways. As soon as everyone had their plate, we ate around the coffee table, laughing and sometimes messing around with one another. Jasmine had brought up the cookies again before I lightly slapped her shoulder.

Once we all finished eating, it was time for presents, which I handed out to everyone. Nathan told me to let everyone know to open the present he gave them last just so he knows how much they would all really like it. I just went along with it, so now everyone was kind of excited. I opened mine, getting one of the hoodies I had shown Jasmine just a few days ago. From Dylan a pair of new headphones since my old ones broke sadly. Lucky bought me some new markers since my old ones were dry. Isabelle and Angela combined their gifts and gave me a little picture frame of both of them (My heart was melting) that I would definitely be placing on the tv stand later.

It was weird for me since I didn’t have a physical gift from Nathan, and I didn’t really know how to react to that. Just what did he get me? I was so confused, but I waited patiently. I’m sure I’d love whatever it is either way.

Everyone was done opening their gifts, only left with one. Nathan jumped when all the attention was on him, visibly trembling. I stepped in for him. “Jasmine should go first.” I grinned. She rolled her eyes, grabbing the box I had stuffed the gift in.

“Like this is gonna be good…” She mumbled. I elbowed her side while Nathan looked down a little sadly. Just wait…

As soon as she had opened it, her jaw nearly dropped. She glared at me for a split second before turning back to the adorable looking teddy bear. She hates admitting it, but she loves those kinds of things.

“Okay, maybe you’re not so bad after all.” She smiled at him for the first time ever.

“My turn!” Isabelle and Angela both opened theirs at the same time, revealing a matching set of clothes. I had to cover my ears from the high pitched squeals. Nathan laughed, covering his ears too.

Lucky opened his, a game that he’s been wanting for forever. He hugged Nathan, he flinched at the contact, but either way hugged him lightly back. Dylan followed, confused at what his could be before he opened it up all the way and stuttered, struggling to find what to say.

“H-how did you…” He looked over the me, but I just shrugged and smirked.

“You are literally the best.” Dylan laughed, folding the paper back up.

We all laughed, including Nathan who was walking closer to me, waiting on the edge. Was he waiting for something? Oh! I let me hand out, seeing him use my thumb to help him balance so he didn’t embarrass himself in front of everyone. I brought him closer, confused the entire time as he pulled out his phone, and seconds later my own phone going off. He pointed at his as I hurried to pull mine out, and nearly dropped my phone when I saw the pictures he sent.

“You’re kidding, right?” I felt my face heat up slightly, watching him shake his head and laugh a bit. I did a double take before covering my mouth with my free hand.

“Told you he’d love it!” Dylan smiled.

I absolutely do yes.

“I-I, um, wasn’t sure if you’d like it.”

“Are you kidding? This is literally the best thing you could have ever given me.” I laughed, trying my hardest to hide the blush on my face, but it was too late because everyone was laughing except for Angela and Isabelle. Including me. Oh my gosh this was so much better than my gift to him. How was I even going to compare to his?

I looked to Lucky, who nodded his head and grabbed it really quickly before I even let Nathan back onto the table. Lucky handed it to him and pointed at me. Nathan started opening it, stopping halfway as he tried to figure out what it was. It wasn’t anything too special. Just a picture frame of the two of us. A picture we had taken a long time ago when we had to share classes. The same day that we hung out together for the first time.

“It’s not anything special. I’m not the best at picking gifts, but I hope you like it.”

I was surprised when he hugged it close to his chest and looked like he was about to cry.

“Awww.” Lucky joked around. I couldn’t help but notice the slight blush on his cheeks. He loved it.

We cleaned up, had the younger kids go to sleep and Jasmine. Dylan and Lucky were in their room watching a movie, while my door was closed along with my curtains. The only light was coming from the dim lamp I had on my desk. I let Nathan down on the nightstand. We were both changed into something more comfortable. So now it was just the two of us.

“I can’t believe you bought me tickets.” I exasperated, still in shock.

“Well yeah. You’re really nice to me, help me out a whole lot.”

I turned to face him, a slight smile on my face, “Really? I feel like you’re the one always helping me.” He nodded his head. It went silent for a bit before I decided to break it, “Are you tired?” Honestly, I was exhausted, but I was willing to keep Nathan company until he fell asleep.

“Mmm… yeah.” He replied, already under a blanket. I chuckled lightly, gettin under my own, “Good night then.”

“Good night, Ryker.” I heard him reply. I’ve rarely heard him say my name before, and I don’t know why my face started heating up.

Four days later.

———Nathan———

Everything was going so great. The Christmas party at Ryker’s was amazing. Even the few days before that it was great just the be with everyone. My mom was happy, I was happy. Life was finally turning around for me. For the first time in years I finally felt like I could actually have a normal life. I had friends, I was going to graduate in five months. Everything was looking all up for me.

So why did it get flipped back around?

My mom and I were just going to go buy fireworks. Just the small ones. Nothing too huge. That’s all we wanted. This was really the only thing we truly celebrated together since it marked the start of the a new year. It marked that we could restart our lives over again. We loved watching the many colors paint the sky. That’s all we wanted. And we couldn’t have it.

We were just in the wrong place at the wrong time I guess? Because everyone just acted like nothing had happened. That everything was going to be fine and okay. But it wasn’t. Nothing was “fine and okay.” I had really thought that maybe my life was finally turning around for the better just like my mom’s had, but no. I can never have anything nice just once. Just once I wanted something nice. And I couldn’t have it. Just like the fireworks we couldn’t have.

The store we were shopping at was relatively empty. Only a few people here and there. The only thing about it was that it was really close to the giant part of the city. That was all we were wary about. But we brushed it off. After all, we would only be there for about an hour then head back home.

“Ooo these look nice, right?” My mom picked up a tiny pack. I smiled, holding out the basket I was holding and let her place it in along with the two other tiny packs we had. We had continued looking, not at all aware of the large tremors that only grew more and more. And neither did the other people in the store. We all had just thought it was some unaware giant walking across the street. If only that were true.

The next thing we know, there’s screaming outside, we heard people fighting, we were rushed outside so we didn't get hurt, but we shouldn’t have ran outside. Two giants were fighting right in the open. Brutally at that. One had a very muscular build while the other was built, but not as muscular as the guy on top of him, laying punches in the face. People tried to break up the fight, but it only grew worse, and soon enough, the giants decided to bring humans into it. The one that was being pouched in the face continuously had tried to reach practically anything he could, and that just so happened to be a human-sized tree from a nearby park. Right where my mom was standing dialing 911.

I mean, what are the chances of that? It seemed like a made up lie, but it wasn’t. Trust me, I’ve tried my hardest to convince myself that it wasn’t real, that there was no way my mom would just be standing there and it just so happens that the giant would try reaching for the tree right next to her. Hah! It was ridiculous, right? I only wished I wasn’t telling the truth.

I stood in fear as I heard her scream at the top of her lungs while in the giant’s fist which was also holding the huge tree that looked minuscule in his hand. I couldn’t move. My mom was there. Getting hurt. And all I could do was stand and watch.

Eventually help did come, all the other humans had gone away except for the few that actually cared about what happened with my mom. I knew I was, because as soon as the paramedics came to see how she was doing, I nearly started sobbing in front of so many people. I’ve seen her like this before. She’ll be okay. Just let her heal for a few weeks and she can come back home. Right? I wish that were true. I wish that we hadn’t even decided to go to that stupid store. I wished that she was standing right next to me. But she wasn’t. And now everything I’ve worked so hard to build up here in this city is just taken away.

I stayed at the hospital, right next to my mom’s limp and weak body. The doctors were trying their hardest to keep her from… you can probably guess. Five broken ribs, a broken leg, and internal bleeding. I’m also pretty sure the doctor’s were hiding something from me, but I don’t know. She couldn’t breath well, and she winces every time she tries to move. Every time she wakes up she tells me to go home and get some rest. I tell her that I wasn’t leaving until she would be able to come home with me.

Today was no different. She would wake up, struggle to sit up, and eat her breakfast while I stayed sitting on the little bench. The doctor’s let me stay the night. I guess they felt bad or something? I didn’t know, but I wasn’t leaving her here. My phone would go off at least two times a day. It was always Ryker. I’m guessing he had heard what had happened, but I really didn’t feel like talking. Not now when this was when my mom needed me most.

“You should…. Eat…. Hon.” She had to take a few breaths between each word, which worried me, but the doctor’s would help with that. I believed it.

“I’m okay mom. Don’t worry about me.” My voice was light and tired. I didn’t feel hungry, but I knew my body was. I hadn’t eaten since the day she came here which was about three days ago. School starts tomorrow, but they called and said I didn’t have to come back until two weeks.

I refused to cry over this. If I did, then it would show that I’d given up. Mom always hated to see me cry. So I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t have to anyways since she would be coming back home with me.

My phone started going off again. Everyday at exactly nine and six Ryker would call, and I would let it ring until he was sent to voicemail. I didn’t want to talk to anyone. I didn’t want to eat. I didn’t want to do anything but stay here with my mom and make sure she gets better. If she doesn’t then I don’t know what I would do.

“Maybe… you should… talk to him.” She wheezed. I shook my head, “I don’t feel like talking to anyone.”

“He’s worried, Nate. Just… promise me… you’ll talk to him?” I thought about it for a second before nodding my head. I was already hanging onto a promise her and I made all those years ago.

——————

“Mom!”

“Yes, Nate?”

“Do you promise to stay with me for forever?” I hung onto the hem of her tattered dress.

“Of course.” She smiled down at me.

——————

She had to keep that promise. She’s all I have left. Dad was already gone… I didn’t want to lose her too.

“Honey, go get some breakfast. For me, please?” She had begged, and I just couldn’t say no. I walked over to the door, and told I would be back.

———Ryker———

What happened three days ago was heartbreaking. At first I didn’t believe it. That’s a really big stretch, but it happened. How do I know? Because I’ve been calling and calling Nathan, and he doesn’t answer. It’s almost like he doesn’t wan tot talk, but then again I did the same with my own siblings after our parents passed away. I pushed them away and locked myself in my room. That’s what was happening with Nathan.

I had heard his mom was in the hospital, still healing, and I really do hope that she would be okay. Her and Nathan. It’s going to break Nathan if she… y’know.

Everyday I call him twice, he never answered. I understood why. I couldn’t be mad at him. The same thing happened to me. I pushed everyone away, and I only pulled myself together when I realized that they were also hurting. They helped me out like they did each other and now look at us. Back to some-what normal. Not to mention that they didn’t know how to cook or clean.

I groaned, leaning back in my desk chair while looking at my phone. I felt terrible. All I wanted to do was to try and help him out as much as I could. I would give him anything he needed. I know how bad it gets, and I would hate to see him like that.

My phone was going off, and I was surprised to see that Nathan was actually calling me back. I quickly picked up my phone and clicked the green phone button.

“Oh my gosh Nathan! Are you okay? I-I heard what happened and-“

“This is Ryker, right?” It was a raspy woman’s voice. His mom.

“Oh, y-yes ma’am.” My hands were shaking, my heart racing. I don’t know why.

“I-I’m sorry to ask… you of this but… can you do something… for me?” I covered my mouth, my heart throbbing. She sounded terrible. How could Nathan still be there and listen to his own mother like this? I couldn’t if I was him. Oh Nathan…

“Anything!”

I heard her lightly chuckle, “Just make sure… Nate doesn’t do anything bad… please? H-he’s really not… doing good.”

“Of course.” I would imagine he wouldn't be doing too good.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

She hung up.

I threw my phone on my bed, worried about what Nathan was even doing. I really am worried about him. So is nearly all of my siblings. Including Jasmine. I really wanted to talk to him. But I don’t think he’s going to school for the next couple of weeks. How do I know? Because I have the exact same message from the school. Also with a small note from Mrs. Kay saying that I should be there for him. Why wouldn’t I? I’m not a fake friend. I just hoped Nathan would call me eventually.

———Nathan———

She wasn’t getting any better. Actually, I think she was getting worse. The doctor’s increased the amount of pain meds for her, and nearly everyday they have to do an emergency procedure because she couldn’t breath right. That’s when I received the news that she had a punctured lung, which explains why she couldn’t breath properly. But that wasn’t good news. There was none. Anything I had heard was something that was wrong with her.

It was evening now, I was reading a book while she had the channel turned on to The Golden Girls. Everything was peaceful until she had a fit of coughs, and eventually the heart monitor was beeping fast. The doctors rushed in, and I could hear her struggle to breath again.

“Mom!” I yelled, watching as they had rushed her down the hallway.

“I love you, Nate.” She formed a weak smile right before they shut the door on me to the procedure room.

——————

I came back home after a week of staying in the hospital on that uncomfortable bench. I had a bag over my shoulder, and stood in the empty living room. It was quiet. You could only hear the faint sounds of crickets outside in the dark. I headed to my room, turned on the lamp in my room, and laid down in my bed, holding the old teddy bear up against my chest.

She was gone.

Tears formed in my eyes, but I didn’t let them fall. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. And I didn’t. She wouldn’t want to see me like that. She would say that there was no reason to cry. But there was. I had no one now. Just myself. What would I do now? I sucked in a shaky breath, falling asleep and hoping that all of those was just some sick nightmare.

When I woke up the next morning, it was quiet still. I stood up, changed my clothes and headed to the living room, where no one was sitting down watching tv. I headed to my mom’s room, finding her bed messy. She always makes sure it’s made before leaving the house.

So it really wasn’t a nightmare.

I wasn’t hungry. At least I didn’t feel hungry. I had only eaten that one day, and even then all I had was half a muffin. It’s been about four days since then. I felt that my body was weak, but I didn’t care. There was nothing for me to care about. I had just thought for once second that everything was alright. That everything was going great, and then this happens. It’s just my luck, right?

My phone was going off. It hasn’t for a while. Ryker was calling again, and I still didn’t really feel like talking to anyone. Of course I realized that he was just trying to check up on me, but I really wasn’t up to the task. I wasn’t even up to the task of making myself something to eat, so what makes anyone think I could hold a conversation.

It was cold in the house, so I just grabbed a blanket and bundled myself up on the couch. The tv was on in the background. It was usually on, and I was so used to it playing something while I was in my room reading or taking a nap. What was I supposed to do with my life now? There really was no meaning if I didn’t have anyone anymore. Ryker could move on. He didn’t need to worry about me. I was just a temporary friend anyways.

Why am I thinking like this?

I can’t believe I fell for a false ending. I thought I could just live a happy life now. Of course whatever bad luck was following me never went away. I could keep wishing all I want, but it wouldn’t bring any of my parents back. I could cry, but it wouldn’t bring them back. No matter how hard it was to keep the tears from falling. They would hate to see me like that. They would also hate to see me alone, but it was hard to choose between the two.

I don’t want to leave Ryker.

I groaned, burying my face into my hands. Maybe Ryker would give up on me too if I stayed quiet long enough. He’d eventually stop calling me everyday and find a new friend that was much, much better than me. Then again… I don’t want to lose him too. I really do like him. He’s been nothing but patient and kind to me. This was how I’d be repaying him? I was a horrible person. I would tell him that I’m sorry if I had the guts to. But I don’t. There’s nothing more I want in the world than to just cry and cry and cry, and I couldn’t.

“I’m trying to keep myself together, mom.” I whispered, stifling back a sob and burying my entire body under the sheets. I felt terrible. I deserve everything that’s happened to me… I’m a horrible person and no one would disagree with me.

——————

For the next four days I just slept. Off and on. There were some days I would sit outside in the cold and watch as people walked down the street or how many cars went passing by. I’d go back inside, lay down on the couch with my little bear and go to sleep. I didn’t feel like doing anything else, and somehow I woke up the next day feeling even more tired than before. I didn’t know if that was a sign that my body was giving up on me, or if was from the lack of food that I’ve been neglecting to give to my body. I just haven’t been feeling like it.

Ryker never stopped calling, and each time he did my heart throbbed. Each time he called I had to hold in the tears that were already so hard not to let out. All of a sudden I wanted nothing more than for him to hold me close and keep me warm like he used to. I missed it. I missed him. Which was an odd thing for me to say. I grew too used to him, but was that really a bad thing? It just means it’ll hurt more when he eventually leaves me. He’ll take one good look at me now, and abandon me. Even the slightest mention of the thought was enough for me to not to answer his calls. I wanted to answer so badly.

Please help me.

I always repeated in my mind. I still had his gift. The picture of the two of us the first time we ever hung out together. I didn’t realize how small I really was next to him until I saw that photo, but I loved it. I had a real smile on my face. I haven’t been able to do that for a while.

This morning wasn’t any different, I sat outside for a while until I couldn’t feel my fingers, walked back inside, grabbed a book, and read until I fell asleep. When I woke up, I’d put the tv on, clean up whatever little mess was in the house, and head back outside for a little. I at least like to get a little bit of sunlight everyday. I wasn’t really taking the best care of myself, but I could just do this one little thing. It couldn’t hurt me anymore than I already was.

Maybe I could walk over to Ryker’s?

That was an insane thought. There was no way I could do it. Plus, he probably doesn’t even want to see me. He’s called so many times I forgot what number I was at. Why would he want to see me? I really haven’t been the best. At all. Though… I could at least try. I know where he lives. I’ve been there plenty of times to know. I really did want to see him too.

I grabbed my phone, zipped up my jacket, and started to walk slowly down the sidewalk. It was a long walk just to reach the small gas station that was close by their house. The sun was long gone, it was cold and snowing lightly outside, my face was freezing and my skin stung from the cold, but I kept on going. I was almost there. If he wanted to see me, he’d let me in and I could be warm again, have someone to talk to, finally be comfortable. If he doesn’t, then I’d be left out in the cold and get hypothermia unless I can make it back to my house in time.

In total, it took me nearly an hour and a half to reach their house. I stared at the huge door in front of me, shivering. This was a bad idea. This could either go really good, or end really badly. I guess there was only one way to find out.

I grabbed my phone with my shaking, ice-cold hands and called Ryker back.

———Ryker———

Everyone was gone on some overnight school trip. The entire district. It was to some theme park a couple hours away from here, and I didn’t really feel like attending. Actually, I haven’t even been going to school since I received that message. I’ve been hanging onto hope that Nathan would eventually answer one of my calls. He never did.

So now, here I was, watching a movie by myself in the living room. It was pretty late, but might as well finish off the movie. I was sitting down with a bowl of half-eaten popcorn when my phone started ringing. Probably just one of my siblings-

It was Nathan.

I freaked out, quickly pausing the movie and placing the bowl I had on the coffee table in front of me before answering.

“Hello?”

It took a while for Nathan to reply, but he did, and I was more than shocked.

“U-um. C-c-could you o-o-open your d-d-door?”

He just walked all the way from his house to mine. In the cold. While it was snowing. Of course I hurried to open the door, seeing the small being that was Nathan on my doorstep, shivering. I dropped my phone of the floor, scooping him up into my hand, hearing him let out a tiny squeak before I shut the door behind us.

I gave him a second to catch his breath, his chest quickly rising up and down. I apologized so many times as I slid down the door. Nathan did not look good at all. He looked skinnier, I could tell he wasn’t really taking care of himself. I waited for him to say something, but he was struggling himself just to find the words.

I wasn’t mad at him. Not at all. I’ve wanted to see him. I’ve wanted him to say for me to help him. Was this the time? I would do everything I could for him. Starting with making him something to eat since I’m positively sure he hasn’t been eating. I technically made a promise to his mom and I was not about to break it.

“Did… did you want something to eat?” I whispered. It took him a second to process what I asked him, but he nodded, and I couldn’t tell if he was shivering of trembling in my hand. I stood up slowly, guiding us to the kitchen and tilting my hand on the counter for him to get off. I grabbed a plate of leftovers I made for myself last night and started heating it up in the microwave. I watched with sympathy as he scooted his back up against the paper towels and dug his head into his knees. He felt bad.

“H-hey look, I promise I’m not mad at all. I understand why you didn’t answer my calls.” I tried to make him feel better. It’s not like I would lie to him. Nathan just shook his head, taking deep breaths to stop himself from crying. I bit the inside of my cheek, hearing the microwave go off. I took out the small container of chicken and rice and worked on making Nathan a small enough plate. I handed him the small pieces, offering a small smile as he took a bite.

I waited until he was full, seeing that he didn’t really eat much, but it was better than nothing. Then, went over to the living room to turn off the tv. Obviously he wasn’t going home tonight. He was probably exhausted anyways, and I never did get rid of those makeshift accommodations for him. I don’t think he really wants to be alone either.

“Do you wanna go lie down for a bit?” I asked, my hand palm up and ready for him to climb on. Nathan nodded his head, climbing on and sitting in the middle, a little warmer now. I closed the door to my room and turned on the lamp on my desk. I placed my hand on the nightstand for him to get off, but he didn’t Instead, he shook his head, grabbing as much of my sweater sleeve as he could and hung on tight. My heart fell. He just wanted someone to be there for him, and how could I deny him that?

I smiled, sitting down up against the head of my bed and just let him stay in my palm. He was hurting, and I couldn’t just leave him like that. That’s when he let go and pointed back to the set up I had on my nightstand.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. I don’t mind. I get why you’re upset. I’ve been through the same thing.” His eyes went wide before shaking his head, “It’s not the same thing! I watched the doctors take her away. She said ‘I love you’ right before she went through the doors, and she never came out. She knew she wasn’t going back with me. I had no one waiting for me at home because my dad was also killed right in front of my face! I’ve been depressed and lonely for years, and I had no one. Did you have to watch your own parents die in front of your face? Were you alone after everything happened? No, because you had your siblings to help you!” He covered his mouth as I stared wide-eyed right back at him. He wasn’t wrong. I had people help me. Nathan didn’t. Which was why I wanted to help him. But the next words that came out of his mouth shook me to the core.

“Please don’t hurt me. I-I’m s-sorry.”

He brought his knees up to his chest and covered his head with his arms. My heart skipped a beat. He was afraid of me, and that just made me horrified. He never told me what happened to him before he moved here. He never told me why he was so afraid of giants. So, whatever had happened was obviously was affecting how he felt right now.

“What? No, never little guy. Why would I hurt you?”

“You’re not mad?”

I shook my head, “Not at all.”

I watched as he wiped away loose tears, sniffling them back and scooting closer to me. I braced myself for what I knew what was coming next.

———Nathan———

Once the tears had started flooding my eyes, there was nothing I could do to stop from crying in front of Ryker now. I bit the side of my cheek so hard the faint taste of blood filled my mouth. Don’t cry. Don’t cry, don’t cry. But my own words didn’t stop the tears from cascading down my face.

Ryker fixed my position in his palm while I struggled to wipe away the loose tears that were only falling down harder the more I kept thinking about the tragic events that have happened this past month. Why? Why’d she have to leave me here?

I was full on sobbing at this point. I had buried my face in Ryker’s hoodie to muffle the sounds of my cries. I could hear the faint sound of his heartbeat, I could hear his light breathing. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Ryker. Is what I wish I could say to him, but I currently couldn’t

Something warm pressed me up lightly against Ryker’s chest. I flinched, slightly turning my head to see that the pad of his thumb was offering some kind of comfort. It felt weird to me, but somehow I liked it? I didn’t want him to let go of me, but I was also scared at the same time.

“It’s okay, it’s okay. I’m right here, Nathan.” Ryker whispered softly, noticeably trying to comfort me while I just cried and cried into the fabric of his hoodie. I’m sorry Ryker. I wanted to say it so badly, but I couldn’t. Why did he worry about me so much? I should be at home, alone, crying into my pillow. Why did he want to stay with an insignificant little human whose life somehow gets turned upside down every other month?

“I’m s-s-sorry.” I managed to say in between sobs. He lightly squeezed me against him before responding, “You’re the one who’s hurt, Nathan. You don’t have to apologize if I’m the one who wants to help you, okay?”

And I could practically hear the sad smile forming on his face as he continued to offer a comforting presence.

I quietly kept on crying, grabbing fistfuls of as much fabric as I could while feeling safe up against his chest. Was this what I needed? To be held just like this and cry and cry? It felt so good. I didn’t want Ryker to ever let go of me. The soft, warm touch on my back felt amazing.

“I-I miss her, Ryker.” I cried in between sobs.

“I know, I know. It’s alright,” He started lightly rubbing my back, making me slightly shudder, “Do you want me to let you go?” I quickly shook my head, sniffling while tears silently fell down my face. Please don’t ever let me go. I snuggled up closer, closing my eyes. This felt right. Nothing else could make me feel better.

“You okay?” He asked me. I nodded my head, hearing him chuckle above me. I missed both my parents. So, so much. Nothing could describe just how grateful I was that Ryker didn’t shut me out. I’ve never felt better than right now at this very moment. I don’t know what I would have done. Probably continue to starve myself until I eventually died. That was probably my initial plan, but I doubt that now that I’m with Ryker he’d just let me do that. Heck, the first thing he asks me is if I want something to eat, which I involuntarily nodded to. I felt safe when I was around him.

Ryker moved, but never moved me. He just laid down and just let me lay down on him. I smiled to myself, closing my eyes and just letting sleep take over me.

And it felt like the first real sleep I’ve had in ages.

——————

Please don’t hate me, I was just in an extremely angsty mood TwT. But hey, at least we get some comfort, right? Hahaa… (Please don’t hurt me)

I’m sorry this one took so long, it’s just I wanted to add a whole bunch of wholesome scenes. It was fun and depressing to write this, but everything’s all coming together. (Please don’t mind the many errors I was too tired edit it) Only a few more chapters and it’s done! Thank you guys for sticking with me on this ride, thank you all!

37 notes · View notes

thestraycat · 8 months ago

Text

Damsel in Distress

So uh, this is a short? But I got carried away. I haven't written in a long time so be patient. Maybe send more prompts so I can practise more.

Cooper saves Y/N who is a vault dweller who is attacked by raiders.

Under the hot desert sun, a vault dweller limped away barefoot. The sands burnt their already swollen feet as they did their best to escape whatever was behind them. Their vault suit had seen better days, so had the vault dweller themselves. Busted lip, black eye and dried blood from a wound that had long since become infected.

They had escaped from a bounty hunter who was paid to bring them back to their original vault alive. Of course, the overseer didn’t care if this meant beating the hell out of them as long as they weren’t dead. The bounty hunter had made it very clear that he would break every bone in their body if needed. Not that it was always like that, they had been travelling together for a while, yet when escape became an option – they took it. They didn’t want to return to the vault.

The wounds that marked their skin wasn’t from the bounty hunter this time, they were from a particularly nasty group of raiders. It was the best, Y/N could do to escape. But they were barely alive. As proven when they collapsed. They couldn’t bring themselves to give up, dragging their broken body along the scorching floor.

A blooded boot stomped down on their back, preventing their further escape. The same boot lifted before kicking the vault dweller onto their back. Standing over Y/N was the raider group’s leader. Another kick from another raider cracked the vault dweller in the cheek, a cry escaped their dry lips.

Half an hour passed as the raiders tied them up and dragged them along. Too tired to fight back, Y/N let them, wishing that they just let their bounty hunter take them back home.

The vault dweller had zoned out until everything came to a sudden stop. They did their best to look around before eyes focused on a familiar tight. A cowboy ghoul holding a gun. It was their bounty hunter.

“Coop…” Vaultie mumbled as a greeting.

“Jus’ when I thought we were becomin’ friends, little rabbit,” The bounty hunter ignored the raider’s existence as he walked towards the group. He stood in front, blocking the way to the raider base, “Guess today jus’ ain’t your day, is it eh?”

The raider’s had snapped out of whatever daze they were in before they started shooting, only to be taken down with ease. Too much ease, the cowboy was making a show of doing trick shots that he wouldn’t usually make the effort to do. He was showing off to his vault dweller.

When the last raider was dead, the ghoul knelt down next to the dweller, holding their chin in an attempt to look at their broken face. He tutted as he examined, “They certainly made work out of you didn’t they? I could kiss it better.”

A chuckle left his lips as he put his water bottle to their dry, cracked lips. He untied their hands and helped them up, only for the vault dweller to fall against him. The ghoul held them up. A mumble escaped from their lips, but their face was pressed against him so he couldn’t hear what they said.

“Huh, rabbit?”

Y/N looked up at him, “I thought you were gonna kiss it better?” Speaking was a struggle worth attempting.

Cooper shrugged, leaning down to peck them on the mouth, “I’m a man of my word.”

#fallout #fallout tv series #cooper howard

27 notes · View notes

ebaylee422 · 2 years ago

Text

Mending Our Home PT. 1

Dad!Steve Harrington X Mom!Reader

Author’s Note: We be needing more daddy Steve people. As well huge trigger warning for any of those who have struggled staying or getting pregnant. You are seen and heard and we should normalize talking about it. Because you are not alone! I have many other fics for you to read if this is too graphic. This is still a insert because it's an ongoing timeline, I have kinda started a series for Dad!Steve. So again, I'm thankful for those of you who do decide to read it and respect the ones who cannot!

Summary: Steve picks you up for work on a particularly hard day. Neither of you realized how much your life could change in just a few hours.

Characters: Steve, Reader, Teddy Harrington (oc child), Dr. Kerr (oc, readers doctor), Wayne, Joyce, Robin and the OG Posse of Nuggets.

Warnings/Tags: Graphic description of miscarriage!!!! I cannot say this more, do not read if you are triggered by hospitals, blood or anything of the type.

Word Count: 3.8k

Waiting on the dial tone as you called home, Steve was alone with Teddy. So you knew to wait and give him a few rings before trying your hand again.

“Yello, Harrington Residence! Teddy ‘member what we talked about when the phone rings?” You could hear the faint giggles and little voice respond ‘Yes, Daddy.’

“Hi babies, it’s me.” You responded, tired voice evident of your distress.

“Teddy go in the living room and get your stuffy.” Steve asks him with sicky sweetness a small distraction “Hey, what’s going on? Are you okay?” Steve voice lowers his voice,

“I’m not feeling to well Stevie, boss let me off early. Could you come pick me up?”

“Yeah-yeah of course-. No not that stuffy the other one, we’re gonna go on a car ride to Nana and Pop-pop’s.” Shriek of Nana Joyce rung through the phone, splicing straight through your skull. “I’ll be there soon, just hold on for us. I’ll bring you home.”

“ ‘Mkay, love you. Don’t break any traffic laws.” You leaned against the cool metal of the phone box.

“I love you most. I’ll see you soon.” With that the dial-tone rang back and you set off to sit on the curb of the diner, waiting for your husband. He came not even 20 minutes after your phone call, parking job shoddy at the very least but all in one piece nonetheless. You stood slowly, Steve sprung out of the car opening the passenger door just shy before you could reach the handle. You leaned against him as he hugged you, arm limp at your side. Fatigue overtaking your body when you finally sat down in the car, mostly.

“You okay, Sweets?” Steve knelt down to eye level, putting his hand on along the roundness of your knees lovingly. You sighed, hunching over.

“I swear if this is the first trimester of pregnancy aches, I don’t think I could possibly give birth again without an assortment of drugs lined up at the ready.” You tried to joke, blowing a laugh out your nose. Which made Steve smile bright and big.

“Well unfortunately we burnt up the singular Russians lab years ago, so I can’t get you anything foreign.” You both laughed, “Have you eaten anything yet?”

“No, everything makes me want to puke my spleen out.” He got up and set your bag in the back, shuffling for something else behind the seat. You got the courage to swing each leg into the car. Leaning into the leather seats, it was pretty muggy outside. Steve’s head came into view again with antacid and water, along with a brownie he’d made the other night with Teddy. Dancing to Bob Segar’s greatest hits. You smiled taking the pill and the brownie, he opened the water bottle placing it between your thighs. He leaned over placing a kiss onto your forehead, unnecessarily aiding you with the seatbelt and gently closing the door before hopping in the driver's seat.

“Stevie, you shouldn’t be driving this late give me a minute. I was just scared to be by myself.”

“I’m fine, scouts honor.” You furrowed your brow at him, he was beat up so much in high school his vision and hearing is slightly impaired on one side. “I know the way home like the back of my hand, I’ve gotten used to the blurriness.” Hunger subsided but the pain slightly increased as he was driving home, something felt wrong. Pressing yours eyes shut to aid in the nausea, wringing your knuckles into the leather seats as waves crash over you they stopped with a sharp inhale.

“Hey what’s going on? Not sleeping already are we?” his eyes flickered between you and the road, placing a hand on top of your thigh. Shaking your head, realizing that probably wasn't the best idea as you fought not to get sick in Steve’s BMW. Not that it hadn’t happened before, you were both 21 for a whole year.

“I think I just over did it today, I bet a bath and definitely some sleep and cuddles will help. I’m all dizzy and cramping.” Groaning, pushing the back of your head into the cushion behind it. Holding his hand tightly, breathing through the cramps.

“Do you want to go to the hospital?” Steve asked, rubbing his thumb along your knuckles.

“It’s okay, just wanna go home and be comfortable.” You assured him as he turned to go home. When finally seeing the dim parking lot relief oozed for your shoulders as he pulled into the assigned spot. You unbuckled, he held tightly to you walking through the apartment complex, up the stairs to the apartment. Only letting go as he started a bath. Sitting on the edge of the already made bed slightly confused, everything was dizzy and blurry until Steve knelt down in front of you. Helping you to the bathroom, sitting on the toilet while the steam clouded the mirror.

“Okay, here I set everything up. If your okay being alone for a minute. I’m going downstairs to make some dinner quickly. I’ll check up on you, then we can go get Teddy from the Byers if you’re feeling better. Otherwise you know Joyce and Hop love the company now.” he kissed the top of your head closing the bathroom door behind him.

Beginning to undress, moving the water between your fingers to see how hot it was. Taking off the now ever tightening diner uniform, stopping at your underwear there was a small red spot. You’d had a rough birth with Teddy, your doctors weren’t concerned for later pregnancies. The cramps came over you once again distracting, nearly knocking the wind out of you. You quickly sunk deep into the rose scented waters, moving your hands through your wet hair. Beginning to massage your abdomen, it was extremely hard, the pressure was unbearable. Then white shocks of pain started flowing through your center, twisting relentlessly. You groaned and thrashed slightly in the water, you couldn’t catch your breath. There was burning going down your legs, you opened your shut eyes to see the water turned a bright red. You yelled for Steve in shock, pain and so many other things bottled up inside. Hyperventilating, when the door crashed open you were barely able to keep your eyes open as Steve rushed to you. Diving over your frame, lifting you out of the water and a towel wrapping around you. You saw lights flickering to and from each eye, small pinches in your arms. Darkness came over your consciousness, pain subsided. Waves of movement and lights came about once in a while, as well as voices. Several voices through time and time again, until you opened your eyes to strange surroundings. Waking up from a really good nap, taking in your surroundings; beeping of monitors, extremely bright lights, a sickly clean smell with a mix of sale metal. Moving just your eyes around you could tell it was a hospital, there was warmth to your left hand. You dizzily tried to move your head to look over, Steve had one hand in yours while the rest of himself was toppled over leaning on the other propped up by his legs. Rubbing and scratching at his scalp,

"Stevie?" You said just above a whisper, his eyes met yours. He jumped forward on his feet, leaning over the bed.

“Baby? Oh my god,” he brushed your hair from your face, endlessly kissing everywhere. Feather light kisses on your hand, cheek, temple, jaw and forehead, “I thought I wouldn’t see those beautiful eyes soon enough, Jesus Christ,” he pressed a button on the wall and a faint red light flickered. You yawned with a dry mouth, suddenly aware you are hooked up to the beeping machines. Along with an IV and Blood bag, there was also something taped to your leg. You shifted trying to sit up comfortably when an extremely tall older man pushed the curtain open.

"Woah, hold on there Mrs. Harrington. You're quite freshly out of the ER. I'm an anesthesiologist, just checking you feel alright before I get Dr. Kerr. Any confusion, chills or feelings of vomiting?” you shook your head, feeling some drowsiness but overall not terrible.

“Great, and any pain I should alert your charge Nurse of?” you shook your head again, moving your taped up hand over your stomach feeling excessive fabric there. You looked at Steve who held tension in his eyes, “alright well, I wish you a speedy recovery ma’am, I’ll let my colleague know you’re ready.” the man wrote something on the clipboard, before walking out and shutting the curtains again.

“Hey, you’re here. That’s the only thing that matters-” Steve started.

“What happened? Is the baby okay?” you asked him scared, his face contorted with pain. Sitting back down pulling his tiny chair closer, hanging his head in shame. Red, all I saw was red. Those words were so similar to ones said to you, what seemed like a lifetime ago. They rang through you like a séance but desired something else this time, you felt Steve’s other arm reach up holding yours fully in place. He was shaking before he came up for air,

“I’m sorry Sweetheart, there’s nothing I could do. I-” The curtain ripped out to reveal a stout man your primary doctor and a even tinier woman full of gusto. Who you knew to be Dr. Kerr and a probable Nurse,

“Evening Mr. and Mrs. Harrington. Just wanted to give you a final diagnosis as well as some time for us to discuss after care.” Steve wiped his face, you looked at the wrinkles in the curtain. Dazed with all the drugs you were probably on, everything felt dry. You didn’t even realize you were smacking your lips until a cup appeared in front of you. It was ice chips with a spoon added to the top, the woman handing it to you nodded before stepping back behind where Dr. Kerr had sat across from Steve. “Mrs. Harrington, do you remember much?” you shook your head in response, Steve reached out to hold the cup as your free hand scooped up ice slowly. The cold crunch sent a shiver down your spine, a hand still tangled with Steve’s rings rolling against each other. “Then please know that I’m giving you the facts and that it may indeed be hard to hear.” you took another scoopful, making short eye contact with Steve before putting the spoon back into the cup. "We weren't able to save the baby, it was an ectopic pregnancy. Have you heard of them before?” You shook your head. “It was the main cause of the abdominal hemorrhage or severe bleeding, so you unfortunately miscarried…” You swallowed hard, looking at Dr. Kerr for the first time since giving birth to Teddy. His eyes were a dark blue, rich with knowledge and no doubt pain. You felt your heart grow heavy, breathing then swallowing. Repeating the word over and over again.

“Miscarried.” You said out loud, out of body only stating it as he did without hesitation.

“Yes, there would have been no way to save it. It's very important that you know it's not your fault, as well the risks moving forward fertility wise are concerning but always possible." You felt so many things at once; numb, angry, relieved more than anything from the pain. Steve’s voice churned you from your thoughts,

"Why's that?" Steve asked, holding your hand a bit closer to his chest.

"More often than not after one ectopic miscarriage, the risk for another one is extremely high. About 1 in every 10 women, which is more than a simple miscarriage. As well, since we did have to expel the rest of the fetus. We have no way to measure fertility until the future, it determines how suitable the uterus will be unless we simply try other means of procreation. Those I'm afraid are very expensive but worth the health and wellness of your partner. If you wish to continue to have a child once she’s healed, you're both fairly young. There will be plenty of time for you Mrs. Harrington." Your heart was shattering, tear slipping into the collar over your starchy hospital gown, Steve pinched his nose sniffling with you.

"I would like to keep you here for at least 24 hours if that's alright, you may stay with her unless they run a test or scan Mr. Harrington. Otherwise, you'll be shown some exercises by physical therapist to prevent blood clots. To just give us more peace of mind that you will not hemorrhage again. Since the blood loss was towards the extreme as well as the circumstances. I do not want to take any chances, despite how much I enjoy your family.” Looking at Dr. Kerr you gave him a hopeful smile, “You'll be moved into a private room shortly for the remainder of your stay, I have walks scheduled every four hours for you to do with a Medical Assistant. Until they clear you from a one person assist, please do not try to do much but the assigned walking and of course eating in an hour would be fine. Is there anything else I can do for you tonight or questions that you have?" He reached out holding your shoulder comfortingly, like a father figure would.

“No.” You shook your head, tears hadn't stopped since he entered but your breath finally catching when you spoke clued the other into your own misery, guilt swarming between all of you.

“Our family is in the lobby, when can they see her?” Steve asks for you, you look up from the curtain across the walls to his face. His eyes, red, heavy with dark circles and so swollen, lips dry and his hair a mess. He looked so young next to you, you were both so young barely 25.

“As soon as she is completely aware from the general anesthesia, and moved to the private room. However, now that she is awake I will need you to step outside into the hall Mr. Harrington.” You shoot your eyes to the doctor.

“Why?” you ask, your voice is so quiet and hoarse.

“Just a precaution while my nurse asks you a series of questions. Because of how tragic the event was we just need to ensure somethings.” You start to speak, but Steve squeezes your hands.

“It’s okay, Sweets. They probably just, just want to confirm my story. I’ll be right in the hall waiting for them to be done.” Steve stands from the chair pulled next to your bed, and places your hand on the side of the bed before walking out with the doctor. You finally notice Steve is in light brown scrubs, they open the curtain where dozen of others are either alone or holding their sick loved ones.

“Oh I almost forgot, sorry it’s my on-call night. But healing should be about 2 to 4 weeks, so nothing should be inserted into your body after they remove the catheter.” You curtly nodded at him again as Steve walked with him shaking Dr. Kerr’s hand. Shortly after a tall dark skinned woman in dark blue scrubs comes over and closes the curtain.

“Hello Mrs. Harrington, I’m Nurse Maywood. I need to ask you a series of questions, are you alright with that?”

“Yes, ma’am.” She moves to the foot of your bed so you don’t have to strain to see her.

“Alright I need you to answer as truthfully as possible each time. First one, how are things going at home?” You almost laugh, until her raised eyebrow shows signs of extreme seriousness.

“We’ve been working a lot, both my husband and I. While taking care of our young son, until tonight things have been blissful.”

“Has any of yours or Mr. Harrington’s behavior's changed due to this pregnancy?”

“No.” Her brow raised again, (blanking) you to continue. “I’m sorry, is Steve in trouble?”

“Mrs. Harrington we just want to ensure your health and safety.”

“Steve is a wonderful husband and father, he picked me up when I started having pain tonight despite taking care of our son as well. He has never emotionally or physically hurt me or my child.”

“That’s enough for me, Ms. I am truly sorry for your loss, and do recommend postpartum therapy for all women I see. You are not alone.”

“Yes, I appreciate the gesture. I just need my family now.” She smiles, respectfully leaving bringing Steve to you again. Followed by more Nurses in scrub but the original pitete Nurse from Dr. Kerr.

“Hey, you needed me? Did everything go okay?” you nod at him, with a somber smile. The two people look at your chart, one walks away before one begins to speak to you.

“Y/N Harrington? We’re about to move you to a private room now, if you just step aside for a minute Mr. Harrington.” You push yourself up on the pillow a little, still extremely numb in your abdomen. The woman comes back with a large wheelchair, then takes your IV and other monitors and puts them on the tall pole attached to the back of the chair. Steve pats your head and moves out of their way, the man who spoke to you draws the curtain. They both put on gloves, Steve staying by your head as they removed your catheter. Running his hand through your hair, soothingly. They wiped everything, before coming back up to speak to you.

“Alright honey, we're going to do a two person assist to get you into the wheelchair. Since you're still quite numb and drowsy, each of us is going to take hold of the support under you, you’ll sit up completely, she’ll move your legs off the side of the bed while I hold you upright. Then we’ll use a belt above your sternum and pivot you to the wheelchair. Sound like a plan?” You nod and do exactly as they instruct, to their surprise you have more strength than they thought. “Thanks Shelby. Alright Mr. Harrington if you’ll just follow us.” it’s quite a way before he carts you into a room. The belt still strapped to your chest he pivots and assists you into the bed by himself while Steve watches from the foot of the bed. The man leaves you two alone, closing the door behind him. Steve doesn’t move, until you reach your hand out to him. He forces a smile, walking around and grabbing it with both hands. You pat the side of the bed, and try to scootch over making room for him.

“Hey, hey. I don’t want you hurting yourself, careful.” He stops your hips,

“I just want you to hold me,” you say innocently through your lashes, Steve instantly melts. Putting his arms under your legs and behind your back moving you over just enough that he can lay sideways next to you. You have to lay on your back but it doesn’t mean you can’t turn your face to his. You brush the hair away from his eyes, caressing the side of his face, he sighs as his heavy eyes close.

“We should let them know you're awake,” he whispers to you, eyes closed. Holding the forearm caressing his face, the other had the IVs still attached so you kept it against your midsection. His free arm draped across your lap, below.

“We should get some sleep first, where’s Teddy?” he props his head on his hand with his elbow flush against the bed, trying to avoid sleep.

“He’s with Aunt Robin and Dustin at home. So just Joyce and Hopper. Nancy and Jonathan have been keeping the others updated. Everyone went to the Wheelers to wait for news.” he yawns huge at the word news.

“So you haven’t slept for like, over 36 hours?” he shrugged.

“I was terrified, Robin kept me updated on Teddy I was able to say goodnight to him. He-he doesn’t know yet, I didn’t know what to say. I don’t think-”

“Steve, one thing at a time. You need to sleep. It’s okay we’ll figure it out, this is not good for you.” he groaned neck cracking as he rolled off the bed.

“And I will, but first. I’m going to go get them and get us some refreshments and gross hospital food.” grabbing his wallet from the front of his brown scrub pants. “Also Joyce brought clothes for us and these are a little ripe.” He pulls at the collar of his scrubs, and grabs the call button clipping it to your pillow. “I’ll be right back, promise.” You take hold of the hand he was using and press the side of your face with it.

“I would kiss it but we’re in a hospital, and I don’t know when you last washed them.”

“Yeah that’s fair,” He leans down leaving you with the impression of his kiss on your temple and thoughts. Caressing the side of your face before walking out the door. After a minute of contemplating you pull the sheet down and slowly bring the nightgown up. You of course weren’t wearing anything except this thin gown, ribbed gray socks and a ginormous diaper they slipped on after removing the catheter. Holding your mouth to quiet the sobs, you needed to calm down before they came back. They were all already so worried about you, so much you can’t imagine how Steve was still standing. You let your mind wander until feeling like you had to go to the bathroom, it hurt to let it sit in your bladder so you pressed the call button. After a few moments there was a knock on the door, someone announced themselves before entering, “Hello, Mrs. Harrington, what can I help you with?”

“Am I allowed to use the restroom with assistance or do-do I have to pee myself?” You asked quietly,

“Great question, if you're uncomfortable standing right now. You can most definitely use the alternative, but it is good to start moving right away. Just like you normally would postpartum.” She helped you use the restroom, changing the pull up as you continued to bleed. She assured you, it will likely occur for a couple days until your hormones balance again. There was a small shower and everything in this room, you were probably in Labor and Delivery now. You were able to wash your hands and wipe your face off a bit, before leaving she helped you to an upright position in the bed and got you some ice chips. It took about 15 minutes total. She made you feel more human. Instead of overwhelming you with information she was making you as comfortable as possible. Knocks clambered the door, opening to reveal your family. The answer to salvation in the darkest of times.

Masterlist

Part Two

#dad!steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington #dad!steve harrington x mom!reader #angst #reader insert #stranger things #no minors allowed

178 notes · View notes

samthecookielord · 3 months ago

Text

(Intro) - (Previous) - (Next)

Lukas: Reuben? Reuben, come here, boy!

The pig’s expression seems to shift to… excitement? It runs towards you, squealing happily.

As it draws near, everyone jumps back. The pig has two heads, which is definitely more than Reuben had. Probably.

Lukas: Uh, maybe that’s not Reuben, actually! Axel: If anything, it’s a two-ben. Get it? Olivia: I’d smack you for that pun if I wasn’t freaked out! Axel: Well it's what I do when I'm freaked out!

(next poll under cut)

Two-ben circles around you a little bit, then jumps and squeals. It’s clearly trying to communicate with you. Of course, none of you are quite as in tune with pigs as Jesse is, so it’s not an easy task. You eventually deduce that it intends on leading you down the most efficient path to Jesse. You follow it, and it eventually stops. You can then look at more memories on the wall before continuing.

[Game pulls from previous save again, some are choices that you didn’t actually make]

These memories are even less severe; minor slip ups, light snarking, forgetting something someone wanted them to do.

? Even the little things.

Some are blurry, and you note that you’ve never heard of those things even happening. Regardless, you continue to place torches along the walls. Radar seems nervous.

You continue through. The memories you see here really throw your whole team for a loop. You see Jesse be killed by zombies. You see them doomed to fall by mobs. You see them burnt to a crisp whilst trying to fight shulkers.

This definitely didn’t happen, right? You were there. You’d remember if Jesse died, so what are all these about?

? ADMIN remembered that.

For each memory you’re required to look at, you obtain an item. You receive a redstone torch, TNT, a gold sword, a feather, and an awkward potion.

You follow Twoben. It seems like you’re close. The room is empty again, and the air feels wrong. Now you’re all prepared for this. Your vision fades.

You find yourself in a dimly lit room, with walls of cold stone bricks and quartz. In front of you is a contraption, menacingly towering. In front of you is iron bars, blocking the way. In front of you is an iron block, – Radar. In front of you is Radar, head stuck inside the iron block, hands desperately clawing at his own iron prison.

Stop it stop it please stop – let him go!

Stop

Everything blurs.

The room is brighter.

Taller too.

But not much brighter.

The air is suffocating.

He’s suffocating.

Oh my god oh my god what did I just do!? Get him out of there, you idiot! Quick! Now! Get rid of the barrier! Break it! Delete it! Now! Just focus! How could I do this to him again!? Radar, just hang on! I’m sorry! Focus, you stupid brain! Just do whatever you did before but backwards or something! Why did you do this!? This is the worst way to die! Get him out!

Come on! You can do anything in the world! Just focus! Just focus!

Why isn’t this working!? Why can’t I control it!? He doesn’t deserve this! Not for a second! How could you do this!? He’s running out of time!

“Radar…”

You need to fix this, now!

You, Jesse, begin a desperate search. Tears constantly blur your vision. Your head is killing you, and your chest is tired, but you can’t give up. You can’t. You won’t. Not until you fix your mistakes, if anything can be fixed with him ever again. Your whole body should be aching now, but it’s distant, muted. Everything it would normally be longing for-- sleep, food, water, is barely even a suggestion. Of course. You’re not human anymore.

? ADMIN never forgot that.

...

#mcsm s3 admin jesse au #minecraft story mode

17 notes · View notes

multiplicity-positivity · 6 months ago

Note

For context, I’m not sure if I’m actually a system yet, but recently I’ve been questioning if I might be and I’m wondering if anyone else around here has ever experienced this or heard of it happening…

I used to disassociate daily to the point that functioning was very difficult, but since I’ve been taking medication for other mental health disorders, I haven’t disassociated at all. At first I was grateful for that, but now I actually feel more distressed that it never happens anymore…I get so tired and frustrated with being conscious all the time that all I want now is to be able to take a break from my body and the real world if only a little while. Anyway, I was wondering if you or anyone else has ever heard of that happening?

Hiya! Healing, growing, and getting better can often be really painful and difficult, especially if you’ve grown comfortable and used to having symptoms that negatively impacted your daily life! >_<” We talked a little bit about our experience and it’s kind of dark, so we’re putting it under a cut!

Our system personally still struggles a lot with dissociation, but there are other areas of our life where we’ve made some real progress towards recovery, and we find ourselves having feelings that are really similar to how you describe feeling about not dissociating anymore!

We used to be collectively very, very depressed, with many members feeling suicidal often. As we’ve made progress in therapy, it’s gotten to the point where many of us don’t feel so suicidal all the time. And there are parts who actually genuinely miss feeling so hopeless and worthless, as weird as that sounds >_< Because when you’re suicidal, that gives you an answer. And if you’re struggling, you can always rely on those negative thought patterns as a way to cope and escape, instead of buckling down, facing your problems head on, and focusing on finding a solution. So in many ways, living life without feeling suicidal all the time is harder… but life has more meaning now! Progress and healing can be challenging and difficult, but it is still so worthwhile! Because we can have those special moments of joy now, when we weren’t really able to in the past. :3

So sorry if this isn’t exactly what you were hoping to hear, but we really just want to assure you that we understand where you’re coming from entirely, even if we can’t relate to not dealing with dissociation specifically! >w<

When you’re struggling, distressed, or upset, maybe it would be good to try and take some time to focus on yourself and try to meet some of your needs!! This could also help you rest, relax, and recharge instead of getting burnt out due to not relying on dissociation to cope anymore. We have a lil post with some self care questions that might help - we’ll go ahead and link it here! :3

We hope this helps!! And we’re sure that other systems and even singlets have probably dealt with this same sort of feeling, even if it’s not dissociation specific! If anyone sees this and wants to share some of their own experiences, y’all are welcomed and encouraged to!! :33

#suicide mention #depression #dissociation #healing #recovery #personal growth #not sure if this needs more tags - let us know if it does!!

12 notes · View notes

gudvina · 10 months ago

Text

The things I do to keep you near.

Ship: Effie Trinket/Haymitch Abernathy

Fandom: Hunger Games

Chapter 8: Open Fire

Can be read on AO3. <3

74th Hunger Games, part six.

When Effie opened her eyes, the only source of light came from the window. It looked like the sun was setting. They couldn’t have slept for too long. She breathed in the smell of sweat and alcohol that lingered on Haymitch’s skin, and nuzzled her face against his chest.

Effie’s hand met her hair, and she discovered it to be a tangled mess. She looked down to see the faint scratches she’d left on his ribs, and just below, crossing his stomach, the scar. It reminded her of the nightmares that haunted his darkest hours, of everything he’d been through. She traced it delicately and felt Haymitch’s arm tighten around her waist, signalling he was awake.

“I’m sorry I fell asleep”, she raised herself to find the grey of his eyes.

“You were tired”.

Effie sighed and let the tip of her fingers distractedly touch the hair on his chest and follow the line that went down his torso. She’d often found herself playing with it, as she’d never seen anyone’s body hair unstyled; in the Capitol, it was common to be completely shaved, but some people left certain areas untouched, preferring to style them into shapes. The gel hardened the hair, made it stick to the skin, and she’d heard it was a pain to wash away. Haymitch’s hair, on the contrary, was soft, unruly, and while many in the Capitol would frown at it, she found it fascinating.

“What did Crane tell you, exactly?”.

“What I told you. That, unless we win, this edition will be the end of my mandate”.

“I want to know everything he told you”.

He sounded serious enough, and she looked at him again with a sigh. Her conversation with Seneca made her uncomfortable, and she would have preferred simply not to think about it ever again, but Haymitch would never allow her to walk away from it. She’d told him too much.

“We were in the car on our way here, and he told me that I was too involved, said there were rumours, and that I was going to ‘get the burnt end of the stick’. I tried to ask him more, but he didn’t go into details. He just said this will be my last year”.

“Nothing else?”, his eyes burnt through her, undressing her more than she was already.

“He proposed to me”. It wasn’t the full truth, but it wasn’t a lie either. She’d never fooled herself that he could love her, or even care about her, but, for some reason, she sensed he wasn’t going to like it. If only for their arrangement. He did say he wanted to know everything, though, so she couldn’t leave that out.

She expected him to make fun of Seneca or their relationship, to dismiss the whole thing with a crass word, but his reaction surprised her. He tightened his grip on her, trapping her in his embrace.

“What did you say?”

“This isn’t the first time, Haymitch. Do you see me married?”

“Not to him!” he scoffed, and she felt his muscles relax.

Her brows furrowed, but she decided not to question his wording, assuming it had to do with his antipathy for Seneca. She was distracted by the soft circles he kept tracing on her back, anyway. Silence stretched between them until he spoke.

“This year, we will go the extra mile if needed, got it? We will get the girl out of the arena, and we will go home as the winning District. Before you say it; I won’t let the boy fend for himself, but I can only get one of them out. Let’s stick with the one with more sponsors”.

“I wish we could let both out…” she whispered, her voice breaking. It wasn’t fair. She didn’t want to have to lose one of them, either of them, but Haymitch had his eyes set on the girl and arguing would waste them precious time. It was a small relief that he said he wouldn’t forget about the boy.

“Go to your room and then meet me in the hall, sweetheart. We have work to do” he kissed her cheek, and Effie blinked the tears away before parting from him. It made her feel uneasy, but her makeup was ruined, her dress was wrinkled and unpresentable, and she couldn’t let Cinna or Portia suspect anything about them.

She sneaked back into her room and took a shower, settling under the warm jet. She hoped it would make her feel better, but having to wash Haymitch’s scent from her body didn’t do much to calm her frayed nerves.

A part of her, the rational, feet-on-the-floor part, worried. He was set on winning. Winning meant staying, and seeing more children die. If she was honest with herself, her mandate ending didn’t upset her half as much as she thought it would. She’d opened her eyes a long time ago to the realities of the Games, no matter how much she liked to play it off.

No, what upset her the most was what it meant for them. It meant she was never going to see him again, apart from the sporadic events she would be required to attend. He’d have to deal with the Games on his own, with a new escort who might just let him drink himself to death, unhappy with her assigned district. She, on the other hand, would have to live a life without him, having to bear alone her share of the burden with no one to understand it beside her. No one who knew her as well as he did.

From the first years of their affair, he’d made it clear she would never be anything for him. She was just his way of getting back at the Capitol. A good fuck at best, but nothing more. He’d told her he didn’t care what she did or didn’t do, whether she left or stayed, and on many different occasions. She’d been foolish enough to believe she could play that game, too.

That she wouldn’t care, that he was just the same for her. A way of relieving herself of the guilt and grief that opening her eyes had caused. The first year she’d done a great job at convincing herself. She’d taken his jabs without even batting an eye, and almost didn’t seek him outside of the bedroom or her duties.

But her heart was treacherous. Gradually, she’d started to see a glimpse of what lay underneath, and she’d concluded that he was a good man. He wouldn’t admit it, maybe even to himself, but she saw it; she saw it the times his mask cracked when one of the promising children died; she saw it the times he took under his wing the new Victors; she saw it when he was a good friend to Chaff. Her heart saw it too and never recovered.

No one had ever made her feel like he did. When she was a girl she thought her feelings- butterflies and stomach pains- for Seneca were love. He was handsome, he liked her well, and their families wanted them to marry. He incarnated everything she was supposed to want. What could it be if not true love?

Haymitch taught her the difference in the hardest of ways.

She loved everything about him. It wasn’t about how he made her feel, about compliments or good manners. It was him. Every aspect of him. His body wasn’t perfect after years of alcohol abuse, yet she knew it and loved it. He didn’t smell of roses, or any other scent that trended in the city. Still, whenever it surrounded her, she felt at home.

With every year that passed it was getting harder and harder for her to let go of him, and when the Games were off, she spent her days waiting to see him again. She’d tried to call him a few times, but his phone was disconnected, and she didn’t push him to get it repaired. She was desperate for him. When it got especially bad, she listened to his old interviews and fell asleep to the sound of his voice.

Effie couldn’t imagine what losing him forever would feel like. It left her breathless, so she tried to switch her focus to getting ready. She turned off the water and draped herself in a towel. In her room, her eyes studied the opened wardrobe, trying to decide what to wear for the rest of the evening.

She chose to settle with a night-blue wig that was scattered with tiny stars and a matching dress. It was pretty, but comfortable. After doing her makeup using the same shades, she let herself into the corridor, walking towards the Screens’ hall. Chin up, smile!

With each step she let her armour take over, and when she stepped into the room her escort smile was already up, greeted by Cinna, Portia, and Haymitch, who was holding a half-empty glass of liquor. On one of the screens she saw Katniss settled for the night, strapped to the branch of a tree. The girl looked down and spotted the boy amongst the Careers.

“She won’t understand what he’s doing”, said Portia. She could read in her voice a bit of uncertainty.

“No, she won’t. But we don’t need her to understand, not now”.

Haymitch’s answer reminded her of Katniss’ reaction to the star-crossed lovers bit, but she didn’t say anything and just sat beside him, occupying her signature spot. It was time to work.

***

“Fucking turn to the left”, he muttered under his breath. The screen showed the girl staggering around, trying to fight the effects of dehydration. She wasn’t too far from water, and he couldn’t waste precious resources on something he knew she could find on her own, no matter how much Effie screamed at him. She’d thrown her heels, a glass, and a marble statuette- one he’d never seen before, had it always been there? - in his direction, trying to convince him to send the girl water.

Admittedly he was tempted, if only to keep Effie’s mothering instincts at bay, but if the girl had half the spunk she seemed to have he knew he’d have to hold out.

He turned away from the screens to look at Effie. They were in the Sponsors’ Lounge, and she was sitting beside Finnick, Cashmere, and Blight. Her hands moved frantically, and her white shoe tapped rhythmically on the linoleum floor. It was clear she was venting about him, and he had to fight the urge to smirk.

He saw Finnick trying to reassure her as Cashmere took a sip of her drink, nodding at the boy’s speech. Blight, on the other hand, looked at her with a knowing smile. He knew that at least half of the Victors had an idea of what truly went on between Effie and him, and the truth was that he didn’t mind too much.

Of course, he’d guessed what rumours Crane hinted to. The dangerous affair that, if ever aired, would have created the most perduring scandal in the entirety of Panem. He didn’t see anyone dying to expose them, though.

“Can I sit?” For a second, Haymitch couldn’t quite believe what he was seeing. Or who. A black wig styled in a pretzel shape, a pastel yellow gown that touched the ground, and black, small, almond-shaped. The years had been kind to her. He wondered if she’d sustained surgeries, but for some reason, it didn’t seem right. Gloria Shimmers looked as beautiful as she did the last time he’d seen her.

“By all means” he answered with a frown.

“I’ve come to sponsor your girl”, she smiled, and in the smoothness of her voice he detected a bit of amusement “Dear Effie doesn’t look too pleased”.

“Just angry with me. I know the girl can find the water, but she goes all crazy with the kids”.

“I know, Chaff told me. In all truth, I’ve also come to see her. She asked me to meet yesterday, and told me about her conversation with Crane”.

“I have it under control”, he grumbled. He knew the kind of relationship Effie had with Gloria. It was much akin to a mother-daughter relationship, and while he had no qualms about it, he didn’t want to know what the senior escort thought.

“Sure”, Gloria said, bored with him, “You know, it’s more personal, for Seneca. I think he doesn’t take kindly to have a district man steal his girl away”. Her wording irked him, and he glared at her. It didn’t intimidate her, but he kept at it as he spoke.

“I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about. By the way, didn’t they break up a while ago? She isn’t his girl”. It was a sorry attempt to sound detached, but he could hear his suppressed anger. The woman broke into an amused laughter and shook her head.

“Lord, I wonder what my Effie sees in you”, she said more cheerfully than the conversation required, and he wondered if it was just an escort thing to put up a mask or if Gloria and Effie just had that in common, “Anyways, I think Katniss found the water”.

On one of the televisions, the girl was getting up, following a patch of muddied dirt. Instinctively, he looked toward Effie’s direction, seeing her beam at the screens before gifting him with the brightest smile he’d seen from her in weeks. It made him sit taller, and respond with a smirk of his own.

Her gaze soon shifted from him to Gloria. Her eyes widened, and he watched her part from their friends to make a beeline for their stand.

“Gloria! Oh, you came!”.

The two women hugged tightly as if they hadn’t seen each other just the day before. And, maybe, Effie intended to make it look that way. He wasn’t sure if he was supposed to know about their little get-together. He decided to act like he didn’t.

“My dear, you know I always keep my promises. Now, I was hoping that I’d be given priority attendance, given that I’m a senior escort”.

“Oh, Haymitch wouldn’t do otherwise, I’m sure!”, she smiled for him. He was surprised at how quickly her anger had disappeared.

“Sure, sure. Old ladies first”.

Effie’s smile faded into a horrified gasp. She fussed over Gloria for his incredibly rude behaviour, apologizing for his sake. “He doesn’t usually behave like this”, he heard her say, and he had to school his expression not to burst out laughing at that obvious lie. Oh, how he liked their little games.

Gloria didn’t seem too offended, to say the truth.

“Don’t you worry, dear. I am past my prime now, and I think we are all able to acknowledge that much. Haymitch isn’t getting any younger himself”. His eyes narrowed, taking a little offense at the jab. He wasn’t old.

“Whatever, any news from the senior bitch? Has she croaked yet?”

“I assume you speak about Liviana”, Gloria wrinkled her nose in displeasure, “No, I only know she was widowed a year ago and has recently married again. Seventy-two and the woman’s still standing. It seems District Twelve’s escorts are always stronger than the others. Imagine, two years ago Iuno has gone to retirement! Poor thing”.

Retirement. The polite way for Capitols to manage terminal illnesses. Not only did you have to deal with dying, you had to do it alone, and avoid to bother anyone around you. Unless they visited, retiring meant complete isolation. No one wanted to deal with the gloom of a dying person.

“Iuno?”, Effie’s eyes widened, “Lord, I didn’t know. Where’s she? I shall visit”.

“It’s a hard fit. You know her, she isn’t like us. These things annoyed her, and now she’s annoyed with herself. I know her whereabouts only because Gratiana was kind enough to tell me. I tried to see her, but she only accepts calls”.

“But… what has she come down with?”.

“I have no idea. She won’t tell”.

“Could it be the morphling?” Effie hesitated. He remembered Iuno, and hadn’t expected the conversation to turn in that direction. He’d never been interested in the world of escorts. It seemed full of frivolous tasks and duties, and beautiful women with empty brains, the only exception to the rule being Gloria and Effie. No matter how stupid they acted.

“It very well could be. It takes its toll, after a while, and I wouldn’t be too shocked if that is her problem. It would explain how unaffected she sounds by the whole thing. I can’t bring myself to ask, though. The subject is quite touchy”. For me. The implication wasn’t lost on him.

Effie’s hand rested on the older woman’s arm, and he looked away. Gloria might not look any less beautiful than she did at the peak of her career, but she’d lost a lot of her spark since Jasper’s loss. Had she been his wife, she would have painted the perfect widow.

He looked away, uncomfortable, and saw Crane standing by the hall’s entrance. He was talking with one of the sponsors. Despite the amicable demeanour he sported, the man kept glancing at them anytime he had the chance, and it was making him angry. What did he want?

Suddenly, his eyes shifted to the screens and Haymitch’s scowl darkened. It took him a while to realize that everyone else was staring that way as well. He felt Effie drop on the couch close to him, and vaguely registered Gloria trying to reassure her. When he looked up, his face fell.

Fire.

Fire everywhere. Shooting straight in Katniss’ direction. The girl was running, trying to dodge each attack, but she’d sustained some damage, and the smoke was quickly getting to her. He glared at Crane, who was still leaning against the door’s frame, holding his gaze. If he could only catch him in a room without Peacekeeper…

He looked towards Effie, who hadn’t even noticed Seneca. She was holding Gloria’s hand so tightly her knuckles whitened, but the woman held her back, trying to give her support, and Haymitch cursed the whole Lounge. If this had happened in their close quarters, he’d be the one to hold her through it.

He almost felt ashamed of his own thoughts. Who was he kidding? She’d be the one to hold him, to hope for the two of them.

Just as he’d made his resolve to get up and remind Crane who he was, the attacks faded and came to a halt. Yes, the girl was in pain and probably a little intoxicated by the fumes, but she was alive, and close to another source of water.

He looked again towards the Hall’s entrance, but didn’t see the Gamemaker anymore. Just then, the gong rang. It didn’t matter in what state they were in. The show must go on, and, as if the sound demanded it, Effie and Gloria quickly wore their masks.

He signed the latter’s deal, and thought back at Crane’s appearance. He wondered what it meant.

#hayffie #haymitch x effie #effie trinket #haymitch abernathy #the hunger games #thg fanfiction #thg series #<3

11 notes · View notes