#i’m taking this as a sign to draw again finally lol

[daiziesssart]

Hey, Arlie, can we get Sims update please? If there is one? I'm weirdly invested in Sims Jily hahahaha

omg YES

i hve a bunch of different save files for different aus that are all at different places but in the most recent one i was playing, jily got married and james cried lol

and some closeups of lily’s wedding look because she’s literally a princess

also not jily related but i randomly decided to make mary a professional dog trainer who works out of her home in this au and i spent like 4 hours putting together her house along with her dog training area (she has a great dane named scooby)

and also was playing around in the canon universe for reference purposes…… 😈

[jupitersdescendant]

hi everyone, here we go again :)

today’s topic: what does your inner child want to share with you?

here’s how it works: close your eyes and meditate on the question for a little. if you feel ready, open your eyes and choose the pile you feel the most drawn to. it’s possible, that you’ll be attracted to more than one pile. please remember that this is a general reading so only take what resonates. this is for entertainment purposes only. lastly, tarot is only a guide, nothing is set in stone and at the end of the day you have the power over your own life.

art by john mccartin.

Pile 1

cards: ten of pentacles (rx), the magician (rx), two of swords. back of the deck: nine of cups (rx)

hii guys. you’re holding back (kind of a harsh start but i’m just rolling with what spirit is giving me). there’s potential in you that’s waiting to be unlocked. the problem is that you struggle to see your own potential and that hasn’t changed since your childhood. financial security is one of your biggest concerns and triggers since you probably had a rocky home life where money was tight. your inner child really wants you to appreciate how strong and resilient you are. this decks version of the magician depicts an infinity sign which i felt immediately drawn to. this again shows that you carry so much potential in you and whats so special about this is that yours is basically endless. i think you can pretty much succeed in anything that you really put your mind to. if you aren’t familiar with spirituality then this is your sign to see for yourself what your spiritual powers and intuition have in store for you. if you use your powers well and don’t get lost in selfishness then you could really bring a lot of good to the world. you or rather your inner child feels like it’s trapped under water, your hand is still gracing the surface but the rest of your body can’t seem to follow. through some childhood circumstances you learned to only depend on yourself and some of you probably often keep people from getting to close to you. i know that trusting others can be really hard and it seems like you had some bad experiences in the past but we as humans need a loving community to strive and survive. and to pull us out of the water ;) this doesn’t mean that you can’t do it alone nor that you should stop trying but it’s much easier to have a helping hand don’t you think? also, learn to feel your emotions, because bottling all that sh*t up won’t do you any good. if you’re scared of the bad ones try to find a good outlet for them, like running, dancing, writing everything down, boxing, just whatever you feel like doing, doesn’t need to be anything fancy. and don’t forget to be kind to yourself!

additional messages:

- be peaceful and take your time

- find ways to occupy yourself so you can regain your sense of self and find the gifts in the process at hand

- draw upon your inner strength and self belief

- you are more than capable of getting through what lies ahead

let me know if it resonates! have a great day/night 🖤

Pile 2

cards: the hierophant, the world, the sun (rx). back of the deck: king of pentacles.

hii! damn pile two your cards left me speechless with all the major arcana dropping out, same was the case for the cards i used to clarify. crazyy. i think your inner child is really proud of you since it looks like you’ve finally stepped into your own power and feel way more confident and comfortable in yourself. you’ve grown to be very wise and have strong morals and ethics. you’re being encouraged to fight for what you believe in. you’ll probably feel like you’re swimming against the current of everyone else but don’t let that hinder you. i just heard you’re being called to duty lol so do with that what you will. the cosmos is on your side, big time. if you have trouble believing in yourself then just know that the universe has your back and is waiting for you to come into full harmony with yourself. butterflys are a sign for you as well as all pink and orange tones, try to surround yourself with them for example through your clothes or flowers that you can put in a vase in your room because both colours could be really energetically pleasing to you. fear may be your worst enemy but don’t forget: it is still possible to move forward after stumbling. the thing that keeps letting the fear get the better of you is your wavering self confidence. some part of you -probably your hurt inner child- doesn’t believe that you have what it takes, which leads to you doubting yourself a lot. this goes hand in hand with fear of failure and procrastination (same dude). apart from doing some active work to comfort your inner child, you could try to find exercises to ground yourself. tanking some sunlight might be really beneficial to you as well as spending as much time as possible in nature. a simple walk in the park will help a lot. it’s really important that you connect to the earth and that you step into your own earth energy which embodies stability, groundedness, safety, growth and many more things :) some of you may even have prominent earth energy or earth dominance in your astrological birth chart. i think what you need to finally trust yourself more and to experience a state of inner peace are the things i mentioned above as well as self acceptance and self love. you have what it takes but will need to believe and love yourself through all of it.

additional messages:

- most fears are learned at a young age, tune into them and determine if they are rational

- visualise positive success as you work through your fears

- physical activity helps to reduce excessive energy related to fear and stress

- stand your ground and stick with your beliefs

- for grounding: plant both feet firmly on the ground, take a deep breath down to your belly and calm your mind, feel the connection between your feet and the earth and imagine yourself feeling calm, centred and grounded

let me know if it resonates! have a great day/night 🖤

Pile 3

cards: the sun (rx), queen of cups (rx), judgement. back of the deck: four of pentacles (rx)

hi guys! the first impression i got was that you probably didn’t have the happiest of childhoods and have wounds that haven’t healed yet. your hurt inner child is still very present in your thoughts and behaviours. you have a hard time letting things go that no longer serve you. it is time to distance yourself from this, wether that’s some bad habits, a job or maybe even people who you interact with often. it’s very important for you to let go of your pessimistic views since this often leads to negative self talk real quick. you’re very insecure and struggle a lot with your self image. this leads to you feeling very hurt and uncomfortable in your own skin. honey, there’s simply no need for that. whoever told you that you’re not great the way you are and didn’t appreciate whatever body and face your blessed with, is simply a d*ck (if they’re still in your life then please and kindly drop them immediately). loving one’s body is really hard, especially for women when capitalism wants to make sure that that never ever happens because then we’d stop buying all these useless products to “enhance” our appearance and be deemed as a threat. i’m here to tell you: be the threat lol. self love is freaking hard but i strongly believe in you. progress will be slow and also kind of excruciating as well but moving forward, at whatever pace that may be, is always better than not moving at all. i think you’ll soon be ending a cycle. now it is time to meet yourself with kindness and patience. take the chance to focus on yourself since your relationship with you should be your biggest priority right now. sometimes its more than okay to be a little selfish because at the end of the day the person that’ll be your side forever is you, so make it count :) doing things for you and maybe only by yourself is always a good way to appreciate oneself more. travel could really uplift your spirits, even a short trip can be sufficient or exploring a new part of the city you may live in. moving around in general and in whatever way that comes to mind will be beneficial. you got this!

additional messages:

- take the opportunity to objectively observe how you communicate

- always incorporate respect and receptivity when talking to yourself and others

- if you’re being to hard on yourself, tone it down

- love yourself more and see what you can achieve with a new approach

- the sailfish is currently a big symbol for you since you -like them- have the ability to shake of negative energy

let me know if it resonates! have a great day/night 🖤

Pile 4

cards: page of pentacles, king of cups, ace of swords (rx). back of the deck: eight of pentacles.

hii! your inner child wants you to be more accepting of them and to show you that you can achieve your best work when you’re both working together. honestly, it felt like you as well as your inner child are hard to get a read on. you seem very secretive. as a child you probably didn’t have a lot of friends and you’ve been keeping to yourself ever since. for a long time you were very sure that you’re a lone wolf and that you’re better off alone. i’m here to tell you that that’s not the case. if you’ve felt drawn to pile one there might be some messages there as well. your energy feels very grounded and calming but you may have the habit of overworking yourself so that you can keep these feelings of loneliness from resurfacing. i think that deep down you crave emotional intimacy. you want and need to exchange your thoughts and feelings with others but you’re scared to do so. being scared is normal and nothing to be ashamed of as long as it isn’t making you unhappy. maybe it doesn’t feel like it yet but you’re inner child wants you to know that change is on the horizon. of course you’ll have to put some effort in as well but i think you’re slowly awakening to your inner truth. when you start to make it clear to yourself that there will be people who’ll be so grateful to have you in their life with all that makes you you, then there’s nothing stopping you anymore. i think you spent way too much time in your head, hence your need to distract yourself. exchange with others is so important since it will help you feel less alone with your thoughts. once we’re overthinking we’re basically just spiralling into driving ourselves crazy, which is why sharing what’s on your mind can be so very helpful and freeing. the opinions from others as well as their advice can help us see things from a different perspective and can pull us out of those overwhelming thoughts. just knowing you have someone you can talk to is a relieve in itself. it seems like you want to prove to yourself that you’re very secretive by nature which might still be true, though you use this to legitimise your withdrawal from others. i’m begging you, for your own wellbeing, open yourself up. it will only get harder the longer you avoid doing it. you bring a lot to the table and others will be so happy to know you, believe me. i actually think that you’re very knowledgeable and that when you share this side with others it can be very fulfilling. use your creative side and hobbies to connect to others since this could come naturally to you.

additional messages:

- you’re entering an energetic phase in your life

- have faith for the long term and trust the universe

- it is necessary to trust that your dreams are possible

- put aside any preconceptions and allow yourself to imagine a new approach to your situation

- surrounding yourself with things that glitter may help you feel more energetically pleased

let me know if it resonates! have a great day/night 🖤

🔮 thanks a lot for reading 🔮

[hana-no-seiiki]

I saw that you need ideas, so how about a yandere from the Neons? I mean, I would like to see more content from them since they represent the elements in Honkai star rail, by the way, sorry if you don't understand, my English is bad... I leave you a little drawing of a masculine makima (it has nothing to do with it, but as a gift ) xd Also, I don't know if I'm the only one, but Nanook makes me handsome >///<

(Sorry, I had already finished it but the work was stained hahaha and I did it again)

Yus the Aeons are so cool looking!! You really feel like they’re actual gods of the universe, especially since you don’t see them first hand (at least for now). Also Masculine Makima reminds me of Karma Akabane lol. I’ll draw it in my style, and add it here as an extra for you ♥️

Hb we mash those two topics up together actually?

warnings: mild yandere themes. mild spoilers for csm. major canon divergence. reader takes the shape of a masc/amab character but it isnt their original form.

status: unedited. updated art.

YANDERE! AEONS + VARIOUS! HSR x AEON OF FEAR/CONTROL! READER

You have no memory of your conception, only that you started existing for what felt like an eternity.

You represented fear and despair, but unlike IX whose mere presence drove humanity into insanity, or the rest of your fellow aeon’s godlike status amongst the world,

you walked around as a normal, ordinary human being.

As normal as an Aeon can get anyways.

In your current lifetime, you took the shape of Himeko’s “brother”, planting fake memories into her mind and being the one that urged her to travel the stars. While she was the navigator, you took the role of conductor before creating Pompom to supplant you.

Welt always knew you weren’t just a regular person. Your eyes always felt distant, so far off that not even a century’s worth of trail blazing would allow him to come close. As such he mostly kept cordial relations with you.

The youngsters of the bunch on the other hand, never seemed to realize the sheer magnanimity of the danger you held and always hung around you.

Particularly that Caelus. The newest addition to the crew. The stellaron within him always pulsed in some sort of giddiness and excitement whenever you were around. The boy couldn’t help but be a nervous wreck when he was around you. Stuttering and stumbling was a common occurrence whenever you so decide as to just breathe at his direction.

You knew what those Stellarons are, their nature, their purpose, the way they were created. In fact if you wanted to, you could have taken the Astral Express straight to the source of it all, your partner: Nanook.

However that would have ruined the fun of it all. So you chose to let them have their little adventures before the final confrontation.

Also because you signed a contract to not meddle with Nanook’s business in exchange for your freedom. But that was another story to tell.

“Why . . . why do you continue this farce? This utterly worthless play?”

IX’s voice rang within your ears and no one else’s. You were the only being it ever gave the time of day to. You imagine it to be the reason why insanity slowly built itself within the recesses of your head.

“You may see the entire universe as worthless . . . but I,” You breath hitched. You looked around your room. Time was frozen. Everything turned grey. You weren’t afraid of the others in the express hearing you, just that the following words you were about to spout out felt like bile on your mouth. “I suppose I’m still a bit like them in a way. I wish to see the world without its evils.”

“And destroying them. That is my first step.” You summon an orb of golden light. Stellarons. The creation of the very thing that made you loath all evil. Including yourself. You will eradicate these and then Nanook yourself. One day.

“Is that why you send those hunters out?”

“Perhaps.” The orb within your hands get covered in chains, quickly getting crushed within the metal like substance as it soon disappeared.

“Do as you wish. Just do not bother me like that imbecile.”

“I promise. I will be much worse than Yaoshi.”

IX remained silent for several seconds, no doubt regretting its decision of associating with you before adding, “. . . And do not die.”

“That one I cannot guarantee.”

Your room’s color returns, time continues. Signaling the end of two Aeons’ encounter.

Nanook, the Aeon that threatened to eradicate all that you love. All so they could have your soul once more. Within your gilded cage. Within your original body that lied dormant.

The Destruction will no longer be a path. That is a guarantee you write upon the stars when your Trail Blazing lifetime eventually comes to a close.

The stage is set, your actors ready.

All you needed was the cue.

Your gloved hand arose, pointing towards the express’s windows in the shape of a gun.

“Bang.”

[barbieaemond]

And all the roses turn to black

Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x reader

Warnings: angst, implied smut, fingering

Author’s note: I have no idea what this is. It just came to me like this lol

Word count: 686

taglist: @zae5 @multyfangirl @chompchompluke

The coin twists and turns, and you with it, waiting to see if you will go to bed with regret or remorse. They have been merging for some time; it is hard to draw the boundaries between one or the other, between what is right and what is wrong.

The anarchy of your heart dictates different laws. All it takes is a fresh bouquet of roses on your bedside table to get you over the boundaries. White roses, precisely, not blue, not to be too obvious.

"I hate to break it to you, but any kind of rose is…quite plain."

“Precisely how my intentions shall be: plain.”

“They’re orders, not intentions. I shouldn’t owe you anything more than my loyalty.”

“That is loyalty.”

“The Gods may beg to differ.”

“I don’t think I care.“ he had swallowed your useless grievances with a kiss that dug into you like a claw, and you had let him cut you openly, you let him carve his law like an awl in stone, welcoming each groove, blowing your obedience into his mouth, swearing on his name again and again as you came undone beneath him.

With each rose found in your rooms, a new oath muffled on sweaty sheets and on his ruthless mouth. Ruthless in words and bites, in kisses, in the way his tongue draws arabesques on the swollen skin between your legs, in how he slips inside your drenched flesh as if slipping a ring on his finger. Just like the one he wears, proudly displaying the seal of his noble house.

The same one you had seen twirling between his fingers that morning when you were walking in the gardens with your husband. He had seen you and fucked you from that distance. You felt it.

Inside, you had bent over on the grass, in front of your husband, with the sun beating hard on your naked limbs as the Prince grabbed your hips and thrust harder, spilling another sacred oath from your throat.

“I thought of making love to you this morning.”

“Where? In the garden? With your husband watching?”

“Yes.

“And then what?”

“And then it was all I could think about.”

“‘Tis not what I asked.”

“I did not do it.”

“Good.”

“I hate someone else touching me. Including myself.” hunger clouded his eye and then you were panting, arching your back as he slipped two fingers between your wet lips. “Do you see what you did to me?” you panted next to his ear, feeling his hot cheek against yours and the low groan hissed through his teeth as he bit your jaw. “I loathe my own body when you’re not inside me.” you said, cursing his name as he slid a third finger “You turned me into a vestige.”

You spin the coin one last time and you’re out of your room. He’s sitting by the fire, unbothered as you step in front of him. The only sign that tells you he’s not transmuted into stone is the light raising of his chest.

“No roses?”

No answer. Only a glance up before returning to the flames.

“I know what happened. Lucerys is dead.”

Aemond looks up, his eye is peaceful. A malignant peace the Gods will curse him for.

“Why are you hiding in here?”

“I am not.” he says “I’m sparing my family.”

“Of what?”

“My lack of regret.” the words do not come out of his mouth, but from some haunted place where a maimed child swore revenge on and on, screamed it so much that he’d lost his voice, so he carved it into his flesh and the retribution had finally come, mangling his nephew in bits of bones swallowed by the sea.

“Don’t spare me.” You say sitting on his lap, as at the altar of your own.

“This means war.” he says tilting his chin until he’s breathing through your lips “Your husband shall be willing to go back to the West and call his banners.”

“Indeed.”

“And where will you be?”

“Where my loyalty lies. Until all the roses turn to black.”

PART II

[muiitoloko]

I don't wanna be annoying but can we please have another sequel to the unscripted love? You can keep it in the back burner for now so you can do other people's requests first tho! I like the idea of the reader and Alan reading fanfiction lol and maybe maybeeeeee while reader reads, Alan suddenly gets the idea of recreating it 😩. Like he'll stop whenever reader stops reading too haha. Just a thought but you totally don't have to do it! I just love your stories so much! Any update from you I try to read immediately ♡♡♡

Title: Cloaked in Love

Summary: Alan’s playful impersonation of Severus Snape leads to laughter and a deepened connection during a well-deserved break from your hectic lives.

Pairing: Alan Rickman × Fem! Reader

Warnings: none.

Author's Notes: You’re not annoying at all—trust me, I love hearing your ideas! 😄 The thought of Alan getting inspired by some fanfiction and deciding to recreate it? *chef’s kiss* I’m definitely intrigued! I’m so glad you’re enjoying the stories! Thanks for the love and support—now I just need to make sure Alan doesn’t get too carried away with those fanfics! 😉

First, Second and Third part here.

Also read on Ao3

Weeks passed before you and Alan could finally meet in person, the whirlwind of your respective projects keeping you both on the move. You traveled from country to country, promoting your film, attending premieres, and juggling endless interviews. Alan, in the meantime, was busy filming A Little Chaos, and while you kept in touch through calls and messages, it wasn’t the same as being with him. The distance began to wear on you, the days stretching longer as you counted down to the moment you could finally be together again.

So, when your schedule finally allowed for a day off, instead of resting in London as you’d planned, you decided to surprise Alan on set. The thought of seeing him, of being close to him again, filled you with a bubbling excitement that made the exhaustion of travel seem insignificant. You missed him more than you’d realized, and the idea of waiting another day just to see him was unbearable.

Upon arriving at the set, you were greeted with a mix of excitement and surprise. Fans who had gathered around the area recognized you immediately, and you spent a few minutes signing autographs and posing for pictures, all the while trying to keep your nerves in check. The thrill of seeing Alan again was tempered by the knowledge that your relationship was still a secret, something you both had agreed to keep under wraps until the time was right.

Finally, one of Alan’s assistants appeared and offered to take you to where he was. You followed eagerly, your heart pounding with anticipation as you walked through the bustling set. The grandeur of the production was evident in every detail—the elaborate costumes, the intricate sets, the palpable energy that came with creating a period piece. It was all very impressive, but your focus was solely on Alan.

As you approached the area where he was taking his lunch break, you spotted him immediately. He was sitting at one of the tables, fully dressed as King Louis XIV, albeit without the wig, his regal attire a striking contrast to the casual conversations he was having with the crew around him. His hazel eyes were alight with that familiar warmth, and his deep, baritone voice carried across the set, drawing you in like a magnet.

For a moment, you stood there, simply watching him. The way he carried himself, even in costume, was unmistakably Alan—graceful, commanding, yet somehow effortlessly charming. He was in his element, and the sight of him made your heart swell with affection. You had missed him more than you’d realized, and now that you were so close, the longing you’d kept at bay for weeks surged to the surface.

Finally, you began to approach, your footsteps light and quick as you made your way to the table. Alan noticed you almost immediately, his eyes widening in pleasant surprise as he recognized you. He had clearly not expected you to be there, and the delighted smile that spread across his face made all the effort of getting there worth it.

“Well, well, what a surprise,” Alan said, his voice warm and rich with genuine pleasure. He stood up from the table, his tall, thick figure cutting an impressive figure even without the royal wig. “I thought you weren’t returning to London until tomorrow.”

You grinned, unable to contain your excitement as you closed the distance between you. “I couldn’t wait,” you admitted, your voice filled with affection as you looked up at him. “I missed you, Alan. I just had to see you.”

Alan’s smile softened, his hazel eyes searching yours with a mixture of fondness and something deeper, something more tender. He reached out, his hand brushing lightly against your arm as if to reassure himself that you were really there. “And here I was, thinking I’d have to wait another day to see you,” he murmured, his voice low and intimate. “This is a very welcome surprise.”

You could feel the heat of his hand through the fabric of your sleeve, the simple touch sending a shiver of warmth through you. There was something electric in the air between you, a connection that neither time nor distance could diminish. The urge to close the gap between you, to wrap your arms around him and pull him into a kiss, was almost overwhelming, but you resisted, knowing that the crew was watching.

Instead, you let your hand rest on his, your fingers brushing against his as you shared a private moment in the midst of the bustling set. “I couldn’t stay away any longer,” you confessed softly, your eyes locked on his. “I’ve been thinking about you constantly, Alan. Every interview, every premiere… all I wanted was to be with you.”

Alan’s expression softened even further, his eyes shining with something that made your heart skip a beat. “And I’ve been thinking about you,” he replied, his voice just as soft. “You’ve been the best part of my day, even when we’re miles apart.”

The sincerity in his words, the quiet intensity in his gaze, made it clear that he felt the same way you did—that the weeks apart had been just as hard on him as they had been on you. It was a comfort, a reassurance that your feelings were mutual, that the bond you shared was strong enough to withstand the challenges of your careers.

For a moment, the world around you seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of you standing there, connected by something deeper than words. It was as if the distance between you had never existed, as if the weeks apart had only made your connection stronger. And in that moment, you knew that whatever the future held, as long as you had each other, you could face it together.

Alan seemed to sense the same thing, his hand tightening slightly on yours as if to anchor you both in the moment. “Come,” he said softly, his voice a low rumble that sent a shiver down your spine. “Let’s find somewhere a bit more private. I’d like to catch up properly.”

You nodded, your heart racing with anticipation as he led you away from the busy set, away from prying eyes and the chaos of the production. As you walked side by side, your fingers still intertwined, you couldn’t help but steal a glance at him, at the man who had become so much more than just a friend, so much more than just a lover. He was your partner, your confidant, the person you trusted above all others.

And as you found a quiet corner of the set, away from the noise and the cameras, you knew that this was where you belonged—by his side, in the moments both big and small, in the spaces where you could simply be together, without the world watching.

Alan turned to you, his expression soft and filled with a warmth that made your heart swell. “I’m so glad you’re here,” he murmured, his voice thick with emotion. “I’ve missed you more than I can say.”

You smiled, reaching up to cup his cheek, your thumb brushing lightly over the stubble that lined his jaw. “I’ve missed you too, Alan,” you whispered, your voice filled with all the love you felt for him. “More than you know.”

You let out a small, frustrated sigh and muttered under your breath, "Damn, I wish I could kiss you right now."

Alan’s eyes sparkled with amusement as he caught your words, and a mischievous smile tugged at the corners of his lips. He leaned in slightly, his voice a low, teasing murmur. “And why don’t you, then?” he questioned, raising an eyebrow in that way only he could—both challenging and playful at the same time.

Your heart skipped a beat at the suggestion, the temptation to close the gap between you almost overwhelming. But you quickly glanced around the set, taking in the bustling crew and the open space. With a small, regretful shake of your head, you started to look for a place to sit down. “We can’t do that here, Alan,” you whispered back, your tone filled with both longing and practicality. “Not in such a public place.”

Alan didn’t respond immediately. Instead, he leaned back against the wall behind him, crossing his arms over his chest in that relaxed, confident way he had, as if he was entirely at ease with the world. His hazel eyes remained fixed on you, a knowing smile playing on his lips as he watched you find a spot to sit.

You sighed tiredly as you finally settled into a chair, the weight of your travels and the emotional rollercoaster of the past few weeks catching up with you. “Why didn’t you tell me you were arriving early?” Alan asked, his voice filled with a mix of curiosity and affection as he gently changed the subject.

You shrugged slightly, leaning back in your chair as you looked up at him. “Honestly? I wasn’t even sure I’d make it here today,” you admitted, your tone light despite the exhaustion in your eyes. “I took the first flight I could find from New York to London, thinking I’d just go straight to bed and sleep the whole day before meeting you tomorrow. But as soon as I lay down, I just couldn’t shake the urge to see you… even if only for a moment.”

Alan’s expression softened at your words, his eyes filled with a warmth that made your heart flutter. He pushed off the wall and walked over to you, his tall frame casting a shadow over you as he leaned down slightly, his face close to yours. “So you came all the way here just to take a peek at me?” he murmured, his voice rich with affection and a hint of that mischievous charm you loved so much.

You smiled up at him, feeling the tension in your body slowly melt away in his presence. “Yes,” you whispered back, your voice filled with sincerity. “I couldn’t stay away, Alan. I just… I needed to see you, even if it was just for a few minutes.”

Alan’s smile widened, and he reached out to gently brush a strand of hair away from your face, his touch soft and comforting. “You have no idea how much that means to me,” he said quietly, his voice low and intimate. “And now that you’re here, I’m not letting you go so easily.”

You chuckled softly, the sound light and relieved as you gazed up at him. “I wouldn’t want it any other way,” you replied, your eyes locked on his. “But I’m afraid I’m not much fun right now… I’m completely exhausted.”

Alan's expression softened into one of sympathy, his eyes filled with understanding as he gazed down at you. “You look like you could use a good rest,” he began, his voice gentle. But before he could say anything more, a voice interrupted the private moment.

“Well, well, what do we have here? Two lovebirds trying to sneak a moment alone?”

You both turned to see Helen McCrory approaching, a playful grin on her face. She looked stunning, as always, her presence commanding attention even in the simple, understated costume she wore for her role in A Little Chaos. Alan straightened up immediately, his posture shifting from relaxed to slightly more formal as he greeted her.

“Helen,” Alan said warmly, his baritone voice carrying a note of affection. “Always a pleasure to see you.”

Helen's grin widened as she came to stand beside you, her gaze flicking between the two of you with a knowing glint. “I should have known I’d find you two together,” she teased, her tone light. “Trying to keep your little romance a secret on set, are we?”

You couldn’t help but laugh at her words, the sound light and carefree as you looked up at her. “You caught us,” you admitted with a playful shrug. “But in our defense, we haven’t seen each other in weeks, so we’re allowed a bit of sneaky time.”

Helen’s eyes sparkled with amusement as she reached out to gently squeeze your shoulder. “Of course you are,” she agreed, her tone warm. “But don’t think you can hide from me—I always know when something’s up.”

You grinned, leaning back in your chair as you let out a mock sigh. “Well, I suppose we should be careful then. Can’t let Narcissa Malfoy catch us in the act. Or worse, let her participate in this little get-together.”

Helen raised an eyebrow, her smile turning into a smirk as she caught onto the joke. “Ah, yes, because that would be quite the scandal, wouldn’t it? Severus Snape and Narcissa Malfoy having a little rendezvous on set.”

Alan chuckled softly, his gaze flicking between you and Helen as he played along. “Indeed. I’m sure Lucius would have something to say about that,” he remarked, his tone dry but laced with humor. “But I doubt even he could stop Narcissa if she had her mind set on something.”

Helen laughed, the sound rich and melodious. “Oh, you’re absolutely right, Alan. Narcissa always gets what she wants.” She then turned her attention back to you, her expression softening as she added, “Though I must say, it’s lovely to see you here. We’ve all missed having you around.”

You smiled, touched by her words. “I’ve missed you all too,” you admitted. “And I couldn’t resist the chance to see Alan again. But honestly, I’m not sure how you two manage to keep going with such hectic schedules. I feel like I could sleep for a week.”

Helen’s eyes twinkled with a mix of sympathy and teasing as she leaned in slightly, her voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. “Well, if you had accepted that role in Harry Potter, you’d be used to this kind of chaos by now. We could have been three wizards on set instead of just two.

You let out a soft laugh, shaking your head in mock disbelief. “Don’t remind me, Helen. I still think about what might have been. But then again, who could ever live up to Narcissa Malfoy? You were perfect for that role.”

Helen grinned, clearly enjoying the banter. “Flattery will get you everywhere, darling. But you would have made a brilliant addition to the cast, and you know it.”

Alan, who had been quietly enjoying the exchange, chimed in with a wry smile. “I must say, I would have enjoyed seeing you wield a wand on screen. Perhaps we could have had a duel—Severus Snape versus… whoever you might have played.”

You laughed, the thought of being in a magical duel with Alan Rickman and Helen McCrory bringing a sparkle to your eyes. “Oh, I would have given you both a run for your money,” you teased, pretending to twirl an imaginary wand in your hand. “But I suppose we’ll never know.”

Helen playfully pouted, crossing her arms over her chest as she gave you an exaggerated look of disappointment. “Such a missed opportunity,” she said, her tone dripping with mock seriousness. “We could have been the most formidable trio in the wizarding world.”

You couldn’t help but grin, loving the playful camaraderie between the three of you. “Well, maybe we can still make it happen someday. I’m sure there’s room for a new character in the Harry Potter universe.”

Alan chuckled, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he considered the idea. “Now that would be something to see. But in the meantime, I suppose we’ll have to settle for being mere mortals.”

Helen rolled her eyes playfully at his words, her grin widening as she reached out to give him a light nudge. “Oh, don’t be so modest, Alan. You may be playing a king right now, but we all know you’re still the dark and brooding wizard at heart.”

Alan shared a warm smile with Helen, the camaraderie between them evident in the easy way they exchanged glances. The conversation had lightened the mood, and for a brief moment, the weight of his earlier insecurities seemed to lift. But as the laughter faded, he caught sight of you glancing at your wristwatch, a small frown creasing your brow as you noted the time.

"I should probably get going," you said, your voice tinged with reluctance. "I still need that well-deserved rest before we meet up tomorrow, Alan."

The regret in your tone was clear, and Alan felt a pang of disappointment that the moment had to end so soon. But he nodded in understanding, knowing that you needed to recharge after your whirlwind travels.

Helen looked between the two of you, her sharp eyes catching the subtle exchange of emotions that passed between you. She watched as you stepped forward to share a hug with her, your embrace warm and affectionate, a testament to the friendship you had built over the years. "Take care, love," Helen said softly, giving you a gentle squeeze before pulling back. "We’ll see you soon."

You smiled, your eyes flicking over to Alan, who stood nearby, his tall frame still as he watched the interaction. With a playful smile, you reached out to pat his arm in a friendly way, your touch lingering just a moment longer than necessary. "Get some rest yourself, Alan," you teased lightly. "I’ll see you tomorrow."

Alan returned your smile, though his eyes held a warmth that went beyond simple friendship. "I’ll try," he replied, his voice carrying that familiar baritone rumble that always sent a shiver down your spine. "But only if you promise to do the same."

You chuckled softly, nodding as you turned to leave, your footsteps echoing slightly in the quiet of the set. Alan’s gaze followed you as you walked away, his eyes lingering on your retreating figure with a mix of affection and something deeper—something that Helen didn’t miss.

As soon as you were out of sight, Helen turned her attention back to Alan, a knowing smile playing on her lips. "You’re not fooling anyone, you know," she remarked casually, her tone light but laced with meaning.

Alan, ever the actor, raised an eyebrow in mock confusion, his expression carefully neutral. "Whatever do you mean, Helen?" he asked, his voice smooth and composed as he feigned ignorance. "I’m simply seeing off a friend."

Helen’s smile widened, her eyes sparkling with amusement as she crossed her arms over her chest. "Oh, come now, Alan. You and I both know there’s more to it than that. You’ve been practically attached at the hip with her since the day you met. Don’t tell me you’re still going to pretend there’s nothing going on between you two."

Alan let out a soft chuckle, shaking his head slightly as if to dismiss the notion. "We’re good friends, Helen," he insisted, his tone light and casual. "Colleagues, even. Nothing more."

Helen didn’t buy it for a second. She had been around long enough to recognize the signs of a budding romance, and the way you and Alan interacted was a dead giveaway. The subtle touches, the lingering glances, the way he looked at you when he thought no one was watching—it all pointed to something more than just friendship.

"Is that so?" she asked, her voice filled with playful skepticism. "Because from where I’m standing, it looks an awful lot like the two of you are hiding something. And I’m not just talking about a close friendship."

Alan met her gaze, his hazel eyes steady and composed, but there was a flicker of something in them—something that betrayed the truth he was trying so hard to keep hidden. "Believe what you like, Helen," he said with a small, enigmatic smile. "But I assure you, there’s nothing to hide."

Helen tilted her head slightly, studying him with a mix of curiosity and amusement. "You’re a terrible liar, Alan," she teased gently, though there was no malice in her words. "But I suppose I’ll let you keep your secrets—for now."

Alan chuckled again, his laughter rich and deep, though there was a hint of tension beneath it. "I appreciate that," he replied smoothly, his tone still light. "It’s good to know you’re on my side."

Helen’s smile softened, and she reached out to give him a friendly pat on the shoulder. "Always, darling," she said warmly. "Just remember, you don’t have to hide everything. Some secrets are meant to be shared."

Alan nodded, though he made no further comment, his thoughts already drifting back to you and the connection you shared. Helen might have been convinced that there was more to your relationship than met the eye, but for now, he was content to let the world believe whatever they liked.

As Helen turned to leave, Alan watched her go, a small smile playing on his lips. He knew that she wasn’t fooled by his denial, but he also knew that she would keep his secret for as long as he needed her to. After all, some things were worth protecting, even if it meant keeping them hidden for a little while longer.

And as he stood there in the quiet of the set, Alan allowed himself a moment to savor the thought of you—the woman who had become so much more than just a friend, so much more than just a colleague. The woman who had captured his heart in ways he hadn’t thought possible.

For now, he was content to keep that truth close, to cherish the private moments you shared, knowing that one day, when the time was right, the world would know just how much you meant to him.

But until then, he would continue to play the part of the enigmatic, charming actor, keeping his secrets close and his feelings even closer, all the while knowing that you were the one person who truly understood the man behind the mask.

The next day, you and Alan finally managed to carve out some time together, albeit later in the afternoon than you’d originally planned. Both of you had agreed that after the whirlwind of your respective schedules, a lazy day at your house was exactly what you needed. No interviews, no scripts—just the two of you, unwinding in the comfort of your shared space.

The moment Alan arrived at your door, you couldn’t help but greet him with a warm, lingering kiss, your hands gently cupping his face as you reveled in the familiarity of his touch. He responded in kind, his arms wrapping around your waist and pulling you close, the tension of the past few weeks melting away as you both simply enjoyed the moment.

“It’s good to finally have you all to myself,” Alan murmured against your lips, his deep baritone voice sending a shiver down your spine. He pulled back slightly, just enough to look into your eyes, his hazel gaze filled with a mix of affection and something deeper. “I’ve missed this. Missed you.”

You smiled up at him, your heart swelling with love for the man who had become such an integral part of your life. “I’ve missed you too,” you whispered back, your voice soft and sincere. “And now that we finally have some time together, I intend to make the most of it.”

Alan’s lips quirked into a playful smile, and he leaned in to steal another quick kiss before pulling you into a warm embrace. “I like the sound of that,” he replied, his tone light and teasing. “So, what’s on the agenda for today, love? A bit of reading, perhaps? Or maybe we could finally indulge in those fanfics you mentioned.”

You chuckled softly, your fingers idly tracing the curve of his spine as you rested your head against his chest. “You’ve been thinking about those, haven’t you?” you teased, your voice filled with amusement. “I never pegged you as the fanfiction type, Alan.”

He let out a low, rumbling laugh, the sound vibrating through his chest and making you smile. “Well, you did pique my curiosity,” he admitted, his tone both playful and genuine. “And I must say, the idea of seeing how I—well, Snape—am portrayed in these stories is rather intriguing. Plus, I’m curious to see how… detailed they get.”

You raised an eyebrow at his words, a mischievous smile tugging at the corners of your lips. “Detailed, huh? You sure you’re ready for that? Some of those fanfics don’t hold back, you know. They might give you ideas.”

Alan’s smile widened, his eyes sparkling with mischief as he leaned in closer, his voice dropping to a low, seductive murmur. “Oh, I’m counting on it, my dear,” he replied, his tone sending a thrill of anticipation through you. “After all, what’s the point of reading them if we don’t have a bit of fun recreating the scenes?”

You laughed, the sound filled with both amusement and excitement at the prospect. “Well then,” you said, stepping back slightly and taking his hand in yours. “Let’s get comfortable first, and then we can see just how well you can bring those fanfics to life.”

Alan’s grip on your hand tightened slightly, a playful glint in his eyes as he followed you to the living room. Once there, you both settled onto the couch, the atmosphere relaxed and intimate as you curled up against him, your head resting on his shoulder.

You reached for your phone, pulling up the fanfiction website and scrolling through the list of stories until you found one that seemed particularly promising. “Alright,” you began, your voice light as you looked up at him with a teasing smile. “Shall we start with a classic Snape romance, or would you prefer something a bit… steamier?”

Alan raised an eyebrow, his lips curving into a slow, deliberate smile. “Why not start with the romance?” he suggested, his tone filled with a subtle, teasing challenge. “I’m curious to see how they capture the… softer side of Severus Snape.”

You chuckled, nodding in agreement as you clicked on a story that had high ratings and plenty of comments praising the author’s portrayal of Snape. As you began to read, the room filled with your voice, each word weaving a tale of unrequited love, intense emotions, and the eventual confession between Snape and the story’s protagonist—a young witch who had somehow managed to break through his formidable exterior.

As you read aloud from the fanfic, you both became more and more engrossed in the story, the detailed descriptions of Snape's inner turmoil and the humorous moments woven into the narrative drawing you in. The author had managed to capture Snape’s dry wit perfectly, and you found yourself laughing at some of the quips that sounded like something Alan himself might say.

Then, you reached a particularly funny scene. In it, Snape, ever the sarcastic and somewhat grumpy Potions Master, was trying to teach a rather inept student the finer points of potion-making. The student, who was clearly out of their depth, had somehow managed to turn their cauldron into a bubbling mess of what the fanfic described as "a rainbow-colored disaster."

Snape, unimpressed and thoroughly exasperated, was written to have dramatically thrown his black robes over his shoulder like a cape, stalking around the student and lecturing them in a tone that was described as both condescending and theatrical. The author had even added a line about how Snape’s hooked nose twitched with irritation as he delivered one of his signature biting remarks: "If incompetence were a potion, you would have brewed a perfect batch."

You couldn’t help but laugh as you read the scene aloud, the image of a melodramatic Snape stalking around the hapless student almost too much to handle. "Oh, Alan," you said, still giggling, "I can just imagine you doing something like this! It’s so over-the-top and theatrical."

Alan chuckled along with you, but as the laughter subsided, you noticed a glint of mischief in his hazel eyes. Without saying a word, he suddenly stood up from the couch, a sly smile playing on his lips. You watched, intrigued and amused, as he reached for the soft sheet you had grabbed earlier to cover his legs, draping it over his shoulders like a makeshift cape.

You raised an eyebrow, a smile tugging at your lips as you watched his impromptu costume change. "And what exactly are you doing, Mr. Rickman?" you asked, your voice filled with playful curiosity.

Alan gave you a mock-serious look, his lips curving into a smirk as he held the sheet dramatically with one hand, letting it flow behind him like Snape’s billowing robes. "I am now Severus Snape," he declared in a perfect imitation of the character’s deep, measured voice. "And you, my dear, are the incompetent student who has dared to ruin a perfectly good potion."

You burst out laughing, the sight of Alan in his makeshift Snape costume, coupled with his spot-on impression, making it impossible to keep a straight face. "Oh, really?" you said, playing along with a grin. "And what exactly do you intend to do about it, Professor Snape?"

Alan’s eyes sparkled with amusement as he took a step back, lifting the sheet-cape with a flourish and adopting a more stern, imposing posture. "I shall do what any good Potions Master would do," he intoned, his voice dripping with mock seriousness. "I shall recreate the scene, and you, my dear, shall read the lines while I bring this catastrophe to life."

You couldn’t help but grin at the absurdity of the situation, the playful banter between the two of you filling the room with lighthearted energy. "Alright, Professor Snape," you replied, your tone teasing as you picked up the phone again, scrolling back to the start of the scene. "But I warn you, this student is particularly inept. You’ll have your work cut out for you."

Alan gave you a mock look of exasperation, his eyes narrowing as he slipped fully into character. "Do you take me for a fool?" he retorted in that smooth, commanding baritone. "No student is beyond the reach of my… expertise."

With that, you began to read the scene aloud, doing your best to maintain a serious tone even as the ridiculousness of the situation threatened to make you burst out laughing again. Alan, for his part, played the role of Snape with a level of dedication that was both impressive and hilarious. He stalked around the room, his makeshift cape flowing behind him as he delivered the lines with a mixture of stern authority and theatrical flair.

When you reached the line about the rainbow-colored potion disaster, Alan paused mid-stride, turning on his heel to face you with a dramatic flourish of the sheet-cape. "A rainbow-colored disaster!" he repeated, his voice filled with incredulous disdain. "If incompetence were a potion, you, Miss [Your Last Name], would have brewed a perfect batch!"

You couldn’t hold back your laughter any longer, the sight of Alan fully embracing the role of Snape—complete with exaggerated gestures and that iconic, sardonic tone—was just too much. "Oh, come on, Professor!" you protested, trying to keep a straight face. "It’s not that bad!"

Alan, staying in character, arched an eyebrow in that perfect Snape-like way, his eyes narrowing as he took a step closer, looming over you with the full force of his theatrical presence. "Not that bad?" he echoed, his voice low and menacing in the most exaggerated way possible. "Miss [Your Last Name], I have seen first-years brew better potions in their sleep! This—" he gestured dramatically at the imaginary cauldron, "—is an abomination, an affront to the very art of potion-making!"

You were practically in tears from laughing, the combination of Alan’s over-the-top performance and the sheer silliness of the scene making it impossible to maintain any semblance of composure. "Alright, alright, you win!" you gasped, holding up your hands in surrender. "I admit it! I’m a terrible student!"

Alan’s stern expression softened into a triumphant grin, the playful glint in his eyes returning as he dropped the sheet-cape and stepped back, his arms crossing over his chest in that familiar, confident stance. "Indeed you are," he said, his voice slipping back into its natural cadence. "But perhaps with the right… guidance, you might improve."

You grinned, wiping away the tears of laughter from your eyes as you looked up at him. "Guidance, huh? And what kind of guidance would you suggest, Professor?"

Alan leaned down slightly, his face close to yours as he dropped his voice to a low, teasing whisper. "Oh, I can think of a few ways to improve your… performance," he murmured, the playful tone in his voice making your heart race. "But I’ll let you decide when you’re ready for the next lesson."

You couldn’t help but laugh again, the playful banter between you both filling the room with warmth and affection. "I’ll keep that in mind, Professor," you replied with a wink, your voice filled with both amusement and genuine affection. "But for now, I think I’d like to stick to the fun kind of lessons—like this."

Alan smiled, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he looked down at you with a mix of affection and something deeper. "As you wish, Miss [Your Last Name]," he said, his voice warm and sincere. "But remember, the offer stands. Anytime you need a little… guidance, I’ll be here."

And with that, the two of you settled back onto the couch, the lighthearted moment bringing you even closer together. The rest of the afternoon was spent in a comfortable, playful companionship, the laughter and joy of the day a reminder of just how much you cherished these moments with Alan—the man who had become so much more than just a friend, so much more than just a lover.

He was your partner, your confidant, your source of endless amusement and affection. And as the day drew to a close, you couldn’t help but feel incredibly grateful for the bond you shared—a bond that, despite the challenges and the distance, only seemed to grow stronger with each passing day.

[i-heart-hxh]

Hey! Hope you’re doing well, I’m sorry I haven’t responded to that last question of mine you answered but I absolutely loved it! Your answers are always super insightful. Today though I want to ask about another scene that I believe has big Killugon implications, but I have yet to see a single person really cover so far. I noticed it as I was re-reading the manga and instantly I knew something was up (oh and apologies in advance for the image quality but I had to take them off of my physical manga copies with my phone lol):

Now for context this scene takes place in the direct lead up to the palace invasion, which each character having a short inner monologue about how they feel in the lead up to the fight. In the case of Shoot he chooses to focus on Killua and how he has changed since they’re fight, noting how Killua look very sad every “once in a while”.

Now when I first got to this panel I was a little caught off guard as I feel most readers would be, the reason being that prior to this scene we haven’t had any indication that Killua was sad at all. After all this is post-needle Killua after his big emotional fight with a Rammot, he hadn’t shown any signs of further sadness since then and, as Shoot says, was a lot more confident in himself and his abilities. So why would Togashi deliberately choose to draw attention to Killua’s feelings this way, and why now when there was no prior indication that he was feeling bad at all?

Well, I think the reason lies in a pair of scenes that happen prior to this revelation by Shoot, the first of which is this:

Again, this is in the lead up to the palace invasion where the gang is working out their final plan of attack, while Palm is already enacting her part of the plan in the palace by herself.

Now this scene is interesting to me for a few reasons:

1. Togashi is using all this space (almost two and a half pages of it) to convey to make it clear to us how worried Gon obviously is about Palm since there’s a high chance she could die or already has at this point.

2. Togashi chose Killua specifically to be the one to explain this part of the plan to Gon, even when the more obvious choice would have been Knuckle or Shoot since they were with Morel and Knov when the plan was first made.

3. Killua is very clearly annoyed/dismissive/generally just put off by Gon’s worry about Palm, and is so harsh to Gon in the way he handles it that BOTH Knuckle and Meleoron call him out on it. Clearly there’s something more going on with Killua that Togashi wishes to highlight here, to the point where a scene about Gon’s feelings and worries about Palm quickly turns into a scene about KILLUA’S feelings about Gon’s feelings and worries about Palm!

But that’s not all! There’s also this science which takes place directly before we get Shoot’s reflection on Killua’s feelings:

Again we see Gon ask about Palm the second he has the opportunity and is once more clearly upset by the fact that there is still no word from her.

So why do I bring these two scenes up? Well because when Shoot says that “once in a while” he sees Killua get very sad, we as readers have to then ask the question of when he would have the opportunity to be around Killua enough to gauge his emotions this way, as prior to this the gang has been very much speedster from one another for awhile.

In fact, some of the only scenes we see Killua and Shoot even in the same location are both instances where Gon asks about Palm, which would logically imply that it was some point during those interactions where Shoot came to this conclusion about Killua’s feelings. And considering how Killua’s reaction to Gon’s worries about Palm, it only makes sense that this is what Shoot saw. Killua getting visibly sad when Gon shows concern for Palm.

So essentially, I believe that what Togashi was trying to get the reader to understand in this scene was something like this: shoot comments on how sad Killua is. “Sad? Why would he be sad?” The reader thinks, “he didn’t seem sad at all prior to this, what is he sad about?” They then think back to how annoyed Killua was when Gon was talking about Palm and think “well he must be sad about that then, but he’s never liked Palm, why would he be sad that Gon cares about… OH, maybe he’s just jealous!”

And THAT I think is the point of this scene, or at the very least to keep Killua’s sadness in the back of the reader’s mind for later where it’ll come to fruition.

Now, obviously anyone who knows the story knows that Killua has his big emotional scene with Palm where he confesses that he thinks Gon cares more about her than him, and how heartbreaking that is for him to feel. When you first read that though it may seem to come a little bit out of nowhere and a bit delusional on Killua’s part if you take it on it’s own. However, in the context of this scene with shoot and Gon’s earlier vocal worry about Palm, it all starts to make sense. Killua sees this play out and gets jealous because he thinks Gon cares more about Palm, whom Killua still would think is Gon’s romantic partner because Gon never showed interest to him in stopping his date with her and they never officially called off their “relationship”. So to Killua Palm means more to Gon because she’s romantically involved with him (in his eyes) and he gets sad and… well… jealous honestly whenever he’s reminded of that fact. I don’t really see any other way to explain why Killua would think Palm is more important to Gon than him keeping the context of these scenes in mind.

It also doesn’t help that Gon basically confirmed it by pushing Killua away after he expressed so much outward worry for Palm so yeah. Oof. It makes sense why Killua thinks the way he does and this whole scene is Togashi hinting at that early on. That’s why he orders these scenes the way he does and why he brings Killua’s feelings to light there for the reader to notice.

But honestly what REALLY got to me about this scene, and what inspired me to write this whole long ass ramble on the first place, was one key detail. Togashi chose an objective character like Shoot (who’s about as objective as objective can be in this situation) to clearly highlight Killua’s deeper feelings for the reader in a way Killua himself can’t.

Sound familiar? Well it should because there is one other VERY important scene where Togashi does the exact same thing, and it happens a bit later on:

(I had to cut out the first page for the sake of image number limits, but we both know what scene this is lol)

Isn’t it funny that Togashi would parallel Shoot’s revelations about Killua’s feelings here in the most romantically coded scene in the entire manga, with an equally objective character in Meleoron pointing out the same thing?

It’s hard to articulate this part but I hope you see what I’m getting at here.

It’s a very curious choice by Togashi indeed, to frame those hidden feelings that Meleoron sees explicitly around romantically love, and parallel that with Shoot’s earlier revelation about Killua being very sad even prior to Gon pushing him away… very curious indeed.

Anyway, wow this went on for longer than I thought but I needed to get this out of my head. If you have any insight I’d love to hear about it because I haven’t heard anyone talk about this scene and I need to know I’m not just crazy with what I see lol. To me, it’s just another case of that subtle, genius storytelling g by Togashi, but let me know what you think. Thanks!

Wow, this is a wonderful piece of meta, thank you so much for writing it all up and submitting it to me!! I had noticed/considered how snappy Killua gets to Gon when Gon is worrying over Palm, but this is a very carefully considered argument that the jealousy over Palm is an important part of Killua's sadness and uncertainty about his place in Gon's life going into the palace invasion. I had mostly read Killua's sadness here as Gon being distant prior and Killua picking up on that, Killua just generally being worried about the outcome, plus being hurt that Gon wants to fight Pitou on his own. I think those are all factors, too, but it's true that Killua is very focused and worried specifically about whether Gon considers him just a teammate or a friend.

I've always thought this whole dilemma comes off as "odd" in the sense that it wasn't long ago that Gon openly stated that Killua is his best friend in the whole world, under no uncertain terms. Why would Killua doubt his friendship with Gon? Plus there's the whole theme of not having to "qualify" to be a friend (an attitude towards friendship that Killua later passes on to Ikalgo). It's worth noting he's worrying about this prior to Gon's breakdown in front of Pitou and the "It's none of your business" (essentially) line that breaks Killua's heart. This happens just a bit before they confront Pitou.

I'm having a hard time explaining this because it's more of a feeling I have about this scene than something I can concretely prove, but I feel like from a purely friendship standpoint, it's strange for Killua to be so fixated on whether they're friends or not when Gon has stated his friendship with Killua over and over again. Even if Gon has been more distant and insists on fighting Pitou alone (which is definitely part of the problem here), it's not as though there's some clear reason presented that shows Killua has been demoted and Gon no longer considers him a friend.

EXCEPT...Killua is so devoted to Gon that he has it in his mind that he and Gon might do a lovers' suicide if worst comes to worst. If Gon cares more about Palm than him, where does that put him? This whole struggle Killua is having of friendship vs teammates makes so much more sense when you consider Killua having romantic feelings for Gon, whether or not he's aware that that's what they are. And it especially makes sense tying in with the argument you're making, that the whole situation with Palm is a big piece of what's bothering and hurting Killua and causing him to doubt his standing with Gon. It is also a logical build up between the date with Palm and the ultimate climax of this subplot, where Palm assures Killua that he's the one means the most to Gon, and the only one who has any hope of saving him.

I think this whole friendship vs teammate thing is Togashi code for what Killua is really struggling with, which is the strong romantic feelings he has for Gon and his concern that they're not requited. Of course it's improbable Jump would allow Togashi to state this outright so of course he has to frame it differently, but as usual he makes it clear what he's really saying in a number of ways for those of us who look into it deeply, while also not alienating readers who aren't interested in viewing it in that light.

What you're pointing out here makes this whole subplot more clear and understandable, and also further cements the romantic reading of Killua in Chimera Ant Arc--bravo for pointing it out! I think you're totally right on your reading of this, it ties so much together, and it seems like carefully laid puzzle pieces all arranged in a meaningful order.

This is why I love discussing HxH with people--even after all the times I've watched and read the series, all the meta I've read through the years, there's always some new way to see things or something I hadn't considered yet. Togashi is truly a genius storyteller, and it's an absolute blast pulling apart his writing because it's so rich and filled with intention. Even tiny scenes and little snippets of dialogue that don't seem that important in the big picture can have so much meaning once you make connections like this.

Thanks again for sending this in, it was enlightening to me and I'm sure it will be for lots of other people as well! Feel free to send more observations any time!

[everything-is-as-it-was]

hi riv! how about they’re in a shed for the wip tag game 👀

hey there!!!

loll this one is something I wrote in a fever dream after watching All Quiet on the Western Front. The imagery and music in this one scene was just so incredible, and heartfelt, and melancholy, and of COURSE my brain went to dnp lol.

I've included a snippet of it under the cut. Not sure if I should continue with it, and also I kind of hate that I wrote it in first person but oh well! here we go:

He stares out the window, eyes unfocused and unwavering, fixed on something I doubt I could see even if I went up there to look with him. Ice crystals gather on his upper lip, on the stubble growing there. The window is broken, the frosted panes splintered, likely by a gunshot gone astray, and the glassless hole lets in a small amount of early muted sunlight, basking his features in a soft, cold glare. 

I shift from my position on the floor, stretching out my aching limbs, frozen solid from the cold. My dirty uniform is too small. I think they figured I wouldn’t last long in it, anyway. 

“What time is it?” I ask, feeling the dirt crusting on my face move as I speak. Neither of us have showered in days. Neither of us have thought about such luxuries since the war started, I reckon. “Have you not slept?”

He doesn’t answer, eyes still gazing outward, out the window and into the world. “Listen a moment,” he murmurs, almost too quiet for me to hear.

I listen. I listen and hear nothing. No birds, as they’ve likely fled this terrible place. This place of blood and barbed wire and gunshots and hate. This place that changes every person who walks into it, rearranging their chemistry so that they aren’t quite human anymore. I lost my humanity a long time ago. 

There are no birds. But there is also nothing else. No gunshots, no explosions, no piercing cries of pain or grief. The world outside is holding its breath, leaving no oxygen for the fires of anguish to flare. 

“It’s so still here,” he whispers, as if he’s afraid to shatter this fragile silence we’ve found ourselves in. The only sound is the small creak of the ancient floorboard as he shifts his weight to look at me on the floor, and he smiles. He smiles, eyes crinkling at the edges, mouth tilted upwards into an expression I thought he’d forgotten how to make. I’ve forgotten how to do it too– smile. 

The only smiles I’ve seen as of late were the ones of my comrades as they died, realizing they’d finally find peace for the first time in years. 

“I thought I’d gone deaf,” he says, and laughs, bending a bit at the sheer effort of it, to let out that tiny bit of joy. His breath, the breath that ensures I keep breathing, condensates in the air and then drifts away. 

I do not respond. I’m still looking at his smile, because I have no idea when I’ll see it again. If I’ll see it again. I may die before I do, dying in a puddle of mud like everyone else. Nobody is special. 

“They signed, Phil,” he says, and the words don’t quite reach my brain. They hang in the air of the dilapidated little house we’ve found ourselves in, filling the space. My body feels lighter, but the meaning of what he’s said still hasn’t reached me. 

“War is over.” He nods and looks back out the hole in the glass, like he is checking to make sure his statement still holds weight. If it is still over, if it wasn’t a deeply unfair dream. 

I sit up, not taking my eyes off him because it isn’t true. The war is not over. It is never over. We’re going to keep fighting and killing each other until there’s no one left but old men to draw up treaties in train cars while the world burns around them. 

“It’s over,” he says again, but he’s not talking to me. He’s talking to the silent world, to the birds that have not yet returned, to the bugs seared into the dirt and our friends torn apart, to our enemies we’ve killed and the ones we watched die, to our families who are likely dead and the families who do not yet know that their sons certainly are. 

And then he looks to me. And it’s only the two of us, and that little shack holds the entirety of the world that matters.

[ryuichirou]

Hello it is I, the Floyddle and Azudia headcanon anon!

(at this point I feel like I need an emoji or a nickname to sign off as for anon😂/j)

But I saw your art of Jamil and Kalim when Kalim realizes about his crush too late and he gets married off , and three things.

1, Amazing art as always I gotta give chef kiss and tap those heart buttons every time I see the art on here and Twitter!

2, I need an update on that, will Kalim that he realized he had feelings too late ? 😭 (I live for angst )

3, If you guys ship the two, you know what time it is...

✨headcanon time ✨

After 10000 years I’m finally replying, Anon! Sorry for the long wait.

I’m excited to talk about Kalim/Jamil. I love them very much, and once again, this is one of those ships that I’d draw more if I had more brain capacity, free hands and free time… So to at least talking about them in a post feels great, thank you for your ask!

First of all, thank you so much for liking them and looking at our stuff both here and on twitter! <3 I’m very happy to hear that.

Second of all, well, Kalim is in a difficult situation lol He’s so used to Jamil always being there for him, he wouldn’t really even think that he has a crush on him for the longest time. That’s why, when it’s finally time for him to start a family of his own, and it feels weird and wrong, and he suddenly feels this strong and desperate longing towards Jamil, who isn’t available to him anymore, he’d finally start thinking about it. And then he’d realise that it’s too late, but he can’t do anything about his feelings either, they’re impossible to ignore now. Kalim is torn, conflicted and miserable. And Jamil… Jamil has to deal with it, let’s leave it at this for now.

Sooo headcanons! Oh, and these are about KaliJami in general, not about that comic we’ve talked about before.

Kalim is actually quite possessive of Jamil, but he might never get an opportunity to realise it. But theoretically, if Jamil was to serve someone else, take care of someone else or give more attention to someone else, Kalim would probably feel weirdly upset about it. He really doesn’t know just how much he’s used to Jamil always taking care of him, and how much he doesn’t want to actually share Jamil’s absolute attention with others.

Kalim is the king of unintentional mixed messages: he is so casually flirty that sometimes it’s difficult to figure out if he’s just being his usual charming Kalim self or actually tries to be flirty. Jamil just assumes that it’s never romantic with him, and with others, well, it doesn’t concern him. That’s a huge mistake…

That being said, Jamil would probably realise that Kalim has a crush on him before Kalim himself realises it. But would still try to ignore it for as long as he could. They won’t start dating unless Kalim makes the first move, and even then, Jamil’s first instinct would be to turn him down (and he would actually turn him down). “For Kalim’s own sake”. But Kalim is persistent and is horrible at suppressing his feelings and desires; he’s very spoiled by Jamil, after all.

Once they start dating, Kalim is going to become even more insufferable because he’ll instantly get 10 times more clingy. He is very physical and loving, it’s like he wants to constantly hug and kiss Jamil and rub his face against Jamil’s. Especially at first, during the honeymoon phase (although with Kalim the honeymoon phase never really ends, he wakes up every day and acts amazed and enamored with everything Jamil does). 

Because of that, Kailm’d find it super difficult to hide their relationships. He doesn’t even know why they have to hide it, but Jamil insisted on it, so he has to stay quiet. And it’s horrible, because Kalim wants nothing more than to shower Jamil with kisses while chatting with other people, hold his hands, casually touch him and talk about how much he loves him. And to brag around about how wonderful it is to be dating Jamil. Please, Kalim, just shut the fuck up…

Kalim would also be horrible about personal boundaries. Sometimes Jamil would find him in his bed in the morning, because yes, he is that clingy. Also quite capricious and pushy.

Jamil is the one who’d rationalise their relationship by thinking that everything that’s going on is just him obeying to Kalim’s whims once again, and that Kalim would probably get bored eventually and move on. Kalim, on the other hand, doesn’t think too far ahead, he’s too euphoric because of his feelings. Ironically, despite Jamil’s concerns about Kalim’s airheadness and kind of unhealthy nature of their relationships, Kalim’s feelings are pretty serious and much deeper than Jamil realises.

Not only Kalim does embarrassing romantic stuff all the time, he also says a lot of embarrassing romantic stuff all the time. And compliments Jamil’s appearance even more than he used to. Sometimes it feels like he just tries to make Jamil blush and get mad at him, but he really isn’t, he’s just that honest and that in love.

Kalim is obsessed with Jamil’s hair. During the day he tries to control himself and not touch it (Jamil told him not to several times), but during intimate moments he really can’t help himself. He grabs it, strokes it, smells and kisses it. Jamil finds it annoying, but since it’s done when both of them are quite aroused, he’ll complain about it later.

Kalim is the loud one during sex. He’s like… too loud. He’s horrible and holding back, which makes Jamil even more nervous than he already is. It’s a hot mess.

Alright, I think that’s it for now. Thank you for your ask again!

[spadeselfshipcorner]

SPADE x HUNTER Chronicles

The Hunter Exam Pt. 5

In case you don't come from the main post, hi. This is my attempt to fully insert my HxH S/I in the main story! Gotta thank my friends whose feedback has kept me motivated to continue writing and finally posting this work, because my original plan was to keep it to myself lol

January 11th OST: It'll Surely Be Fun 09:20 AM Two days had gone by, the time had almost run out, and still no sign of my group.  Chatlog:

– [Spade]: “Time’s almost up…”

[Hanzo]: “Ugh… yep! I can’t wait to finally get outta here! Say… I haven’t seen the clique you stuck around with the first couple days arrive yet… Do you think they made it?”

[Spade]: “I really hope so… I'm honestly so worried, I don’t want to imagine what sort of crazy things they must’ve gone through, maybe they’re injured…”

[Hanzo]: “Maybe they just got lost, they could still be alive… wait, what’s that noise?” –

At the last minute, I saw Gon, Killua and Kurapika arrive down a sort of slide, and at the very last second, I saw Leorio come down too along with… Tonpa?! That explains everything, that man probably made them lose a bunch of time by tricking them. Regardless, I looked at Hazo with happiness and he nodded, and I ran up to my group. Chatlog:

– [Spade]: "You guys!!"

[Leorio]: "Spade! Woah that’s a tight hug! Are you alright? How are you? Oh, how I'm glad to see you!"

[Spade]: "I'm okay! What about you? You took so long... is everyone all in one piece? I was so worried!!"

[Leorio]: "Ah, don't worry, we're all fine! I was worried that I lost you too, I was scared that you were still stuck in Trick Tower. Don't cry, Spade! We're all alright, and we didn't leave you behind. There's no need to panic anymore, alright?"

[Spade]: "I-I'm not crying!"

[Leorio]: "Ah, you are crying… Well, I'm certainly glad that you're safe, Spade. I really am.”

[Spade]: “I’m glad you’re all okay too.  With how much time you were taking, I feared that you might've..."

[Leorio]: "Oh, we just ran into some problems during our trials. We had to find our way out, and it took a bit longer than we had originally thought. But rest assured, we're all fine. I could say the same for you, Spade. You really had us worried too."

[Spade]: "I-I wouldn't die so easily... My challenge was mostly just frustrating. Still... I'm glad we're all together again!"

[Leorio]: "So am I... I'm glad we're all still a team in the end. Speaking of, what was your path like?”

[Spade]: “Well… I had to solve puzzles with… that guy over there-”

[Leorio]: “#301?! You must have nerves of steel if you only felt frustrated being stuck with that guy on your own!”

[Spade]: “Haha, it wasn’t… too bad- oh! The door’s opening!” –

I finally let go of my friend and soon noticed Killua making a disgusted face, not much for seeing people being affectionate, huh? In the end, 27 people passed, one of which died shortly after.

OST: Mosadomo no Heigei

09:40 AM

We were all led out of trick tower, and finally met the evil bastard that locked me in a “Couple Puzzles” journey with flipping Pinhead.

Lippo really didn’t look intimidating at all, but I’ve slowly learned that not every strong person needs to look big and scary. Still hate him though, for separating me from my buddies.

He brought a box for us, and we had to draw cards from it. Whoever we picked was our next target in the following phase. My target was… 198! It took me a bit to remember who that was, but then I realized he was one of the Amori brothers, the one wearing a light blue shirt. I sneaked a look at him and saved his appearance in my head. He noticed me looking, but instead of looking scared or anything, he just grins smugly and points finger-guns at me.

I hid my number tag inside a secret pocket in my backpack.

10:00 AM

We departed for Zevil Island. During the 2 hour ride I hung out with Kurapika and Leorio again, who were just resting up and chatting with each other, until I came around, and Leorio started to talk about their part of the third phase. 

Chatlog:

–

[Spade]: “So… I’m curious, what was your path like?”

[Kurapika]: “It was called ‘Majority Rule’, the five of us had to vote every time we needed to make a choice… we hit a few bumps along the road, but as you can see we came out of it just fine”

[Spade]: “Ah… must’ve been tough though, it took you guys the whole 72 hours to complete it! How come?”

[Leorio]: "Uh… that’s not important! Right, Kurapika?”

[Kurapika]: “*sigh*, yeah, just some tough choices”

[Spade]: "Oookay? Does it have to do with Tonpa? I told you guys that man was trouble-”

[Kurapika]: “He wasn’t too much of a problem, honestly… but the rumors you heard the first day were right, he’s a very deceitful man, and he’s still in the race, so we should be wary of him”

[Spade]: “I knew it-”

[Leorio]: “... Oh yeah! There’s another thing that happened- you know that… boy Gon befriended?”

[Spade]: “Hm? Oh yeah, Killua?”

[Leorio]: “Yeah, he’s- absurdly strong! He killed the most feared serial killer in Zaban City history with ONE hand!”

[Spade]: “S-seriously?”

[Kurapika]: “Gon knew this already, but apparently he’s the son of a world famous assassin family, and after what I saw him do… I believe him”

[Spade]: “That’s crazy… Well, good thing he’s on our side, right?”

[Leorio]: “Yeah… heh”

[Spade]: “... I also wanted to know, given the nature of our next trial, I’m not your target, right?”

[Kurapika]: “What’s your tag number?”

[Spade]: “#378”

[Kurapika]: “Nope, not my target. Leorio?”

[Leorio]: “You’re not mine either- is either of us your target?!”

[Spade]: “Heh, no no, don’t worry. My target is #198, he’ll be a tough one to hunt, if anything because he always travels with his two brothers”

[Leorio]: “Damn… you sure you can handle that on your own?”

[Spade]: “Of course I can! I’ll just have to strike at the perfect moment”

–

12:30 PM

We finally got to Zevil Island, which meant things were soon going to get serious. I not only had to look for my target, but also look out for whoever was hunting me. I was confident in my ability to make quick work of whoever was hunting me.

We were sent out onto the island in 2 minute intervals between each other, so Hisoka was the first to go, then Gittarackur, then me etc.

I used this advantage to go and find a good hiding spot from which I could watch people leave, so that I could immediately begin tracking Imori’s movements, but apparently I’m not the only one who got that idea, so I’m forced to move elsewhere to avoid being found.

We had seven days to hunt down our prey anyway, and also needed to survive for that amount of time, so I decided to take my time for once, and explore the island’s grounds a bit instead. That and hunting for food is how I spent my first day. I set up a small camp near the river and chose to sleep inside a tree to hide myself.

January 12th

OST: Master of Curses

When I woke up the following day, I found that my sleeping spot had been trapped by examinee #36. Unable to avoid triggering any traps, I decided to just walk through them and get caught up inside a net, while 36 came out of his hiding spot, gloating about catching me so easily. I didn’t really panic, trying to break the nets using my knife, but it didn't cut it, it was made of a very resistant material or something… The man attempted to get a hold of my backpack, but I slashed his hand while still trapped in the net. I needed to get out of there fast, so I coated my knife in Shu making it much more powerful and capable of cutting through anything if I believed in it hard enough. The man was shocked at how my knife cut through his net like butter, but before he could say anything else, I swiftly knocked him out and tied him up with his own net, before plopping him inside the spot I’d used to sleep in previously. Well, that took care of my hunter… now to track down my prey…

That was until I saw Killua on the other side of the river. I waved at him and he quickly jumped over it to reach me.

Chatlog:

–

[Spade]: “Hey! Is… this guy your target?”

[Killua]: “Hm? Let me check… #36? Ugh, no… you’re that old man’s friend, right?”

[Spade]: “O-Old man? You mean Leorio?”

[Killua]: “Oh, so that’s his name, yeah… you’re not my target either”

[Spade]: “Lucky! So… why were you looking at me earlier?”

[Killua]: “Hm? I was just curious to see if you could handle that, though… I didn’t have a lot of doubts.”

[Spade]: “And why is that?”

[Killua]: “Gon told me you held your ground against Hisoka pretty well, and managed to land a good hit on him.”

[Spade]: “Oh… well yeah, though part of me feels like he let me hit him on purpose to gauge my strength”

[Killua]: “Huh… well okay then, I’m off, I still gotta find my target, see you in a week!”

[Spade]: “Wait! Who… who’s your target?”

[Killua]: “#199”

[Spade]: “Oh! Mine’s #198, that means you gotta look for one of the Amori brothers too!”

[Killua]: “Eh? You know who they are?”

[Spade]: “Yeah! Say, wanna team up until we find our targets?”

[Killua]: “What a pain… *sigh* okay, fine… let’s find them quickly then”

–

We could both sense that someone was following us, probably the one who was hunting down Killua.

January 13th

OST: The Gatekeepers

Killua got tired of being chased so sloppily and threatened his hunter to come out, and it turns out it’s MY TARGET! And it’s along with his two brothers too, which means Killua’s target is there too. Lucky! We made quick work of the three brothers, and Killua also threw away the tag he thought we didn’t need… too bad he “accidentally” threw away the tag I needed instead, so I had to scramble and go fetch it before it literally became unfindable.

I have no idea if he did it on purpose… UGH. I still held onto #197’s tag because that was still one extra point.

I started chasing the number tag turned frisbee, until a shadow snatched it away. FUCK who took my target’s tag??

Chatlog:

– [Spade]: “Hanzo?!”

[Hanzo]: “Aah! Oh… it’s you- wait! Don’t come any closer…”

[Spade]: “Huh?”

[Hanzo]: “I know we’re friends, but that doesn’t mean I’ll lower my guard…”

[Spade]: “Oh! Dude no, you’re not my target… here, look. This is the card I picked outside of trick Tower”

[Hanzo]: “Number 198, huh? Alright… then what business do you have with me?”

[Spade]: “I was chasing the number tag you caught! It’s actually mine-”

[Hanzo]: “No way! This was my target’s tag, I’m sure of it! Look, it says… 198?! WHAT?!”

[Spade]: “I told you…”

[Hanzo]: “But- but then- that kid tricked me! Oh no… where could the tag be now?!”

[Spade]: “Uhm… What was your target’s number?”

[Hanzo]: “197…”

[Spade]: “Oh- well, that’s the tag Killua gave to me!”

[Hanzo]: “SERIOUSLY?! Did… he do that on purpose?”

[Spade]: “I dunno, maybe… I guess he wanted me off his back or something, haha”

[Hanzo]: “Sneaky kid… Do you think he noticed me too?”

[Spade]: “He might have- his perception is extremely good. Anyway uh… since we have each other’s tags, how about a trade?”

[Hanzo]: “Ah, sorry, I must decline, my code forbids me from accepting things from others. I can give you your tag, but… I can’t accept #197’s from you”

[Spade]: “Seriously? But then you’ll have to hunt down three other people-”

[Hanzo]: “Haha, that’s okay, I can handle it! Here’s tag #198 for now”

[Spade]: “T-thank you… oh, wait! I have an idea!”

[Hanzo]: “Huh?”

[Spade]: “Your code forbids you from accepting help, but you can take things with force, right? So how about a small game? If you can steal the tag from me, you’d be able to keep it, right?”

[Hanzo]: “That’s… actually a genius idea, Spade! Alright, I accept the challenge! But you’d better take it seriously, if you don’t… I’ll forfeit immediately.” –

We started sparring, and of course I played seriously. Hanzo may look like a happy-go-lucky guy, but when it comes to serious matters, he can be extremely stoic and calculative. I felt like we were similar in that sense.

After a bit he managed to take the tag from me, admitting he actually had to put in a little bit of effort to accomplish that. Hearing that made me kind of happy, but also had me wonder what Hanzo’s full power would be like.

Before I could ask him if he wanted to stick around, however, he was already gone, and I was alone once more, but at least I had all my six points!

January 14th

OST: Meimou

I felt a horrible bloodlust coming from the forest, so no way was I going there until that was gone. I already had my six points so I just wanted to stay out of trouble. I spent the rest of the day hunting for food outside of the forest.

January 15th

OST: Kijustushi no Baire

The bloodlust was finally gone from the forest, but I still decided to stay out of it, in the outskirts, thinking I’d be safer there… nope, ran straight into Hisoka, he was holding a man’s head- I was as good as dead!

Chatlog:

– [Hisoka]: “Spade… it’s been a while”

[Spade]: “H-Hisoka… heyyyy, nice head you got there!”

[Hisoka]: “Hmm isn’t it? It belonged to my target, that puts me to six points. So… how’s this phase been going for you?”

[Spade]: “I’m all good, got my six points too. Wait… if you have six points then- where’s your number tag? Did you take it off or something?”

[Hisoka]: “Oh… no, no… Gon took it from me~…”

[Spade]: “He- woah… but also- never say it like that again, please”

[Hisoka]: “Like what?”

[Spade]: “... Nevermind”

[Hisoka]: “More importantly… you said you also have your six points, didn’t you?”

[Spade]: “Yes, why? Oh…”

[Hisoka]: “Hm, yes… that fight we agreed on, you’re not going to break a promise, are you?”

[Spade]: “Don’t worry, I wouldn’t…”

[Hisoka]: “Good… because I’ve been eagerly waiting for this moment. Show me what you can really do… Spade” –

We started fighting, but he had more tricks up his sleeve, aside from his cards. I used Gyo on my eyes to see his aura and it had this weird rubbery consistency, oh great, a Transmuter.

It didn’t take long to understand that he totally outmatched me. Strength-wise and in Nen too. He was a master in his Hatsu, and I’d never really trained for something like that, sticking to the basics, because I couldn’t settle on a Hatsu that fit me. Nonetheless I held my ground, managing to punch him and kick him on multiple occasions, leaving bruises on his body.

It was a very silent fight, but I could tell he was studying me in some way, and soon enough, he managed to break my guard and started landing hit after hit.

The air was knocked out of my lungs. I recovered and tried to fight back, but he could now control my movements partially with his Bungee Gum, and everything became much more difficult. At that point it was clear I was still far from matching his strength level. He enjoyed beating me up for what was worth, and left me with deep cuts from his cards, a swollen face and a sore feeling all over my body.

Chatlog:

– [Hisoka]: “Hm… it seems like you still need to mature a little bit… before you can fully satisfy me”

[Spade]: “Ngh…”

[Hisoka]: “But don’t get me wrong… This fight wasn’t disappointing. I just can’t wait to see what abilities you’ll have in the future” –

After roughly patching myself up, I passed out for the rest of the day, but not before I could think about working on an ability; if I wanted to grow stronger, I’d have to do that.

Part 4

Master Post

Proship/Comship & Kink blogs DNI

[exalted-dawn-drabbles]

How about “Hey! I may be a dumbass but I’m your dumbass!” for Alistair/Shaesa?

omg omg omg I was so happy when I got this prompt and I knew IMMEDIATELY what I wanted to do. So this is a lil scene after Alistair finds out that Shaesa had been previously engaged, and he gets a bit insecure about it cause Shaesa was his first love and finding out she had someone before him that she felt THAT SERIOUSLY about (jokes on him, it was arranged, but he didn't know that lol) sorta freaked him out. He started distancing himself from Shae but she noticed and called him out on it and so this is what happens after that :3 hope you enjoy! for @dadrunkwriting Rated G: Fluffy goodness, ~800 words

Try Again | By Exalted_Dawn

Shaesa stifled a snort into her palm, her smile curling against sword-formed calluses in a cheeky sort of way. Even so, the feeble attempt did little to hide the blossoming up-turn to her lips, or the way her eyes crinkled with joy, so the elf didn’t bother to pretend that she didn’t find this whole situation funny. “Maker, you’re such an idiot,” she chuckled, the words almost breathy as she spoke them, clouding on the brisk morning wind.

From the corner of her eye, she watched as Alistair’s face turned an even deeper shade of red (something she hadnt previously thought possible), scrunching in an adorably flustered scowl. “What? And you’ve never made a wrong assumption, hm?” he muttered, scrubbing at the back of his head. “It’s not as if you particularly liked to talk about it in the beginning, and when your father brought it up, I thought-”

Shaesa broke off with a laugh, curling in on herself. She rocked back against the Vhenadahl, using its sturdy trunk to balance against as she finally and truly succumbed to her amusement. She shook her head briskly, wiping a stray tear from her eye as she did. “What? That I’d lost the love of my life? That I’d never want to be engaged again?” She peaked up at the man standing beside her, all wrapped up in scarves and a thick-knit traveling cloak from head to toe. He really was too cute for his own good. It was hardly fair. She sighed deeply, sucking down a centering breath in an attempt to reign in at least some of her laughter, and reached over to grab his hand in hers. “Alistair. Just because I was once, doesn’t mean that I’m still spoken for. Sorta hard to be betrothed to a ghost… y’know?” 

He stared idly at their interlocked hands, fingers woven together tight, and Shaesa watched as something in him settled. His gaze grew distant, more contemplative and sullen. His head dipped in a tentative nod. So he wasn’t entirely convinced, then. 

Huffing, she turned and yanked him to face her, picking up his other hand so she held both aloft between them. She squeezed roughly, her conviction demanding. “Marry me.”

Alistair blinked. “I’m sorry- what?”

“Marry me, you dumbass,” she repeated, stern. 

“Uh-”

Shaesa frowned up at him expectantly, glaring down his baffled confusion. 

“Wait, are you serious?” Alistair asked.

“Of course I am.”

“What do you mean ‘of course you are’????” he quacked, balking. “You just ask like that? Out of the blue? With absolutely no warning or preparation?” 

Shaesa’s frown deepened a fraction. “Well I wouldn’t exactly say it was without planning, or entirely out of the blue. We were talking about it, and it’s been on my mind for some time now. I thought, if you really cared about me being engaged, then-”

Alistairs lips closed over hers, pressing and insistent. Warm, against the Denerim chill. Shaesa signed into the kiss, leaning up into him as he stooped to cup her face, drawing her closer. His thumbs brushed across her freckled cheeks in tender refrain, teasing a flush to them to match his own. 

They parted slowly, breath catching in the air between them. Shaesa could not help the silly, lopsided grin on her lips. “So I take it that’s a ‘yes’, then?”

“Absolutely not,” Alistair puffed indignantly, thunking his forehead against her own. “You don’t even have a ring- let alone flowers or proper mood lighting. I’m not some cheap date, you know. If you were going to propose, I would have liked to see some actual effort.”

“But if I did have all that stuff…?” She tried not to sound too hopeful, in case he was simply deflecting through humor. But her worries were swept away as Alistair grinned something goofy and pecked her nose with another kiss. 

“I suppooooose you’ll just have to ask me again and find out, won’t you?” He grabbed her hand again and tugged her along, back towards the direction of Shaesa’s family home. His ears were pink to their very tip, but his grip was firm and sure.

The nerves in her softened, as did her smile. She squeezed his hand back, stumbling to catch up with him. “You really are a dumbass,” she murmured, love swelling in her chest. How could he have doubted her for a second? As if she ever stood a chance against him.

“Yeah, well,” he started, not even bothering to look back at her. “I’m your dumbass now, so I guess you’re stuck with me. Afraid it's a bit too late for regrets.”

Regrets?

Never.

Never.

[deci-doodles]

Misc assortment of OC doodles from recently that I had no idea how to post individually so I’ll just compile them :p feat previously shown family members+Tiziri in some outfits besides her Eremite one, and also me attempting to design Itto’s parents coz why not

More info+rambling under the cut

Aight SO,

Tiziri’s the Eremite lady that Tesey’s head over heels for and can’t blame him, she’s very charming, very competent, and won’t hesitate to call him out lol. She’s also the current successor in place for the matriarch (Tizemt) of her adoptive tribe (the Ifri, named after the goddess not the demons lol). They don’t exist in lore since the other two main GoF worshipping tribes don’t really fit the area of influence I wanted to use and Tanit were also a definite no go so instead, the Ifri are a smaller tribe that had branched off from the Tanit but under their current matriarch, have been slowly trying to make themselves more self sufficient and independent, with Tiziri being taken in by them as a child. after they took down the raiding party which had targeted her original tribe and family.

As of current game events, Tesey had been trying to collaborate with the Ifri with textile trading since he believed their work could sell really well in a more international market, so Tiziri’s been assigned to keep an eye on him and also just get a grasp of what kind of a person he is before letting him into their territory and all that (luckily for him he’s long passed the vibe check but after Fontaine’s AQ he had to make an emergency trip back to Morepesok).

Anyways I thought it’d be fun to draw her in a modern Moroccan caftan, but also a Ukrainian folk outfit since she does eventually make a trip over to Morepesok to visit Tesey’s family when they get together. Anyways like Kirena, Tonia and their mother, Oksana (I’ll post their design eventually wsojcndwoc), I’ve based it off outfits from the Luhansk area (go check out these blogposts for references I used for the embroidery it’s such a life saver, but yeah their mum’s side would be from the Donbas irl, dad’s from Zaporizhzhia). Jewellery’s primarily based off Amazigh jewellery from southern Morocco, as well as some Tuareg ones and also a few strings of Ukrainian korali ehe (they’re a gift from Tesey later on as a sign of his intent to take things more seriously and his sincerity). I tried my best with the tattoos since I didn’t want to just trace someone else’s given how personal they are but if anyone has any sources on Moroccan Amazigh tattoos please let me know 🙇🏻‍♀️

-

Next bit is just me realising that a good chunk of my labelled OCs (most aren’t) happen to be aspec, which I find absolutely hilarious (fyi I’m ace myself so this isn’t malicious I just think it’s funny how it keeps happening). Kageharu and Mingli are probs also some flavour of aro but I haven’t figured it out yet so they just have their ace labels for now

-

And, finally, Arataki Natsuki (荒瀧凪月) and Arataki Takenosuke (荒瀧岳之輔). Apparently I felt like revisiting old ideas from 2021 again weciswnjdsq, but still was fun to do. I’m aware it’s more likely Itto’s mother was also an oni (judging by his troubles voiceline regarding Granny Oni) but I thought it’d be interesting to explore what it could be like for humans given how prevalent oni discrimination is, both towards them but also towards humans who are close to them (again: see the voiceline on Granny Oni), as well as people learning to look past assumptions and all that fun stuff. They could’ve lived out a nice cottagecore life with their son if it weren’t for those damned robberies they got blamed for smh

Bonus concept portrait of Natsuki while I’m at it. Tbh one of my biggest pet peeves in designing related characters is making any character too similar to whichever canon character they’re related too and I just really wanted to show that yes, Itto does have quite a few of his mother’s features. It’d be more helpful if I actually drew him to compare ofc, but motivation do be funky like that and my brain wants me to draw Oksana next 😔

[azolitmin]

end of the year thoughts

Hello!

I swear I made another blog post recently but it looks like the last one I made was at the end of march phew. Anyways, I hope everyone’s been having a stress-free holiday season, enjoying themselves and hanging in there. 

I’ve included a longer version below so that I don’t take up too much space on people’s dashboards (or TL? what do we call the feed on tumblr nowadays?) but the short of it all is that my wrist pain has improved significantly since my last post, I’m going to work on opening a patreon and doing a lot of art projects in the coming future!

I figure I should make a little update related to my last post (wrist pain/pinched nerve) I’m still waiting to see a doctor for a full evaluation LOL but I did manage to buy a secondhand cintiq, shoutout to the guy on FB marketplace who didn’t scam me, it’s been amazing to draw with and has seriously helped alleviate a majority of the pain in my wrist/hand. I’m honestly having so much fun drawing with it I can’t believe I deprived myself of this for so many years LOL. I’m still working on taking adequate breaks/rest periods and strengthening my wrist which I also think played a huge part in my recovery. Anyways, I definitely feel more confident in taking on work now that I can draw for more than an hour without pain or even just the mental energy drain being in pain causes, yay!!!

Soo with that being said I am going to be working really hard on new art, I have a lot of projects I want to do in the future. Primarily a lot of OC stuff but a few fandom related things as well. I had a dream once that I spent 300$ in gachaphon trying to get every single catboy kurapika merch so I think this is a sign that I have to make a lot of catboy kurapika merch. I also want to make some batman related stuff and experiment with some new product types 🥺 definitely want to participate in some more conventions, I never made a post reflecting on my time at Sakuracon and AX but I had an amazing experience at both (as good as it can be during the panini). If you came by and said hi or bought anything from me during these times thank you so much!!!! It was really nice to talk to people who enjoy my art or chat about fandom stuff 😳

Other than merch and fandom related products I think I also want to finally get my patreon up and running, though it will be very low stakes (one tier for the foreseeable future). I’ve definitely gone back and forth on this since I have a big fear about letting people down. It’ll most likely be used for posting up sketches, WIPs, I might ask for feedback on what I should draw next or give art feedback if requested? I’m not the most skilled artist but I think I’m capable of a suggestion or two :^)!! And yes the whole twitter thing has definitely contributed towards me trying to make a serious attempt at patreon again...

The last thing I wanna say is thaaatt I am going back to art school to hopefully get my BFA, I’m halfway there, yay!! I really hope to learn new techniques/skills and improve a lot, even just typing this out is giving me a lot of excitement for the future haha.

I think that’s all I wanted to touch on without rambling on for TOO long LOL. Thank you for taking the time to read through this! 

[narrators-journal]

Sexual healing

I hope this has enough spanking in it, I’m never too sure how to make spanking HOT enough lol. I at least had a fun time writing it? I know it’s not particularly LOVING, but tbh I always got the vibe from Machi that she was a lesbian, so I mayyyy have made a colder bitch than Illumi lmao. Other than that, just another Ao3 ask!

Kinktober prompt list: Here

Kinktober Masterlist: Here

CW: Spanking, Hisoka gets pegged, handcuffs are included. I may not have focused on the prompt, but it is spicy regardless!

Feitan and Uvogin? Healed. Dinner? Had. The members of the phantom troupe? Accounted for, and in one piece. All around, Machi Komacine considered her night free to herself. After all, her usual thorns in the side were either drunkenly passed out, or dealt with after that day’s mission. Plus! Hisoka Morrow, the painted, colorful bastard, wasn’t included in this job! She was free of him and his mind games.

So, taking down her light pink hair from its usual fluffy ponytail, Machi slipped into her sleeping bag, letting out a content sigh when the blissful comfort of a mattress seemed to turn her bones into jelly. After so long af sleeping in abandoned buildings or stolen cars, the healer didn’t care about the creaky, cheap mattress. It was a mattress.

Yet, an early bedtime wasn’t in the cards. Judging from the sickly familiar pattern of knocks at her door. Grimacing, the healer rolled over so that her back was to the door. Firmly ignoring it, only for the bastard to sing, “Macha~ Be a dear and let me in~”

So, with a mix of a sigh and a groan, Machi unzipped her sleeping bag and basically threw herself from the cheap hotel bed to stomp over and rip the door nearly off the hinges. “What the fuck do you want, Morrow? Why are you even here?” She spat, sapphire eyes narrowing darkly as she glared into those snake-yellow, smug eyes staring down at her. “I missed you! So, I came to find you.” Was the sappy response Hisoka gave, batting his lashes at her, jesus christ she’d kill for lashes that thick, and playing sweet. But, the sugar made Machi’s stomach churn. “Fuck off.” she spat again, trying to slam the door in the clown’s face. However, he was quicker, and got his foot in the door before she could entirely shut him out. ”Oh come on, Machi! Let me in, I’ll make my visit quick.” He promised, unbothered by the woman throwing her weight into the door to try and force his foot out of the way. Until, finally, she gave another groan and just caved, going back to the bed to pack up her sleeping bag. And, when she turned around, sure enough, the tall psychopath had followed her in.

The silence of his movements brought a shudder, but the healer bottled it up, knowing that any sign of how much Hisoka scared her would draw out whatever game he wanted to play, or demand he had for her. So, she turned her attention to tying her long hair back into its usual style. “Alright. What do you need sewn up.” She said coolly, ignoring how close he was to trapping her between the bed and his well-muscled body as she walked over to her duffle bag to dig out the pin cushion she kept her needles in. Making a conscious choice to crouch down instead of bend when she did. “Nothing,” He hummed, his syrupy tone dropped in favor of a more bored one. A glance over her shoulder revealing that the clown had gone from flirtatious, to more casual. Which, only meant one thing. “God damn it, Hisoka. Don’t you have a boytoy or something?! Some poor bitch you’ve baby trapped?” She snapped, standing up to glare at him again, her hands on her hips like an annoyed mother. Yet, her harsh tone didn’t seem to phase the pink-haired man, barely getting him to lift his yellow eyes from some mystery stain on his outfit. “No, everyone else is so boring. And Illumi said that if I try to bargain for sex a second time, he’d put a needle in my urethra.” He sighed, pouting at her like he wanted her sympathy for that.

Which, Machi did show. After all, while the phantom troupe were a ballsy pack of villains, even they were scared of crossing the Zoldyck family. And, personally, Illumi Zoldyck was Machi’s personal nightmare. With bottomless, soulless pits for eyes, suffocating nen that he used for a terrifying ability, and such a clinical, almost robotic personality, Machi would sooner face the devil than that man.

Though, on some level, maybe the devil was a far more likely encounter than people normally had. After all, he currently sat on her bed, giving her puppy dog eyes.

So, with a long sigh, Machi pinched the bridge of her nose, gritting her teeth in pure annoyance. “Fine. But I’m gagging you.” She told the tall man, getting a thousand watt smile that would’ve been charming if it was from anyone else. But, that aside, the healer simply turned back to her dufflebag to fish out some handcuffs, ball gag, and a vibrantly purple strap on that she kept for a more desirable partner.

By the time she turned back to Hisoka, he was already naked. His vest and pants were torn off as if he was some bachelorette stripper rather than a murderous psycho, but she didn’t bother questioning his speed or skill with stripping down. “Get on the bed. Face down, and put your hands out like usual.” she ordered, watching the scarred man eagerly climb onto the cheap, creaky bed, his ass already in the air. Machi coming over to cuff his wrists together once he was in position. “Open.” she added, a little perturbed by how readily Hisoka opened his mouth to let her put the thick rubber ball in his mouth and secure it around his head. Or, maybe it was the glitter of lust sparkling in his yellow eyes, either way, she didn’t know how to feel.

Regardless of that, though, she just went about the usual steps of their ‘hook ups’, as Hisoka called these meetings. Strolling down to the foot of the bed to kick off her sleep shorts and pull on the base of her sex toy, ensuring the silicone dildo was secure before moving to stand behind him, staring down at the round rump eagerly awaiting whatever she was going to do.

It wasn’t a surprise that Hisoka was so horny for whatever sex he could get, but it still somewhat annoyed the healer that he was so okay with being pegged, and, even after her setting such a firm rule on that being her only form of sexual contact with him, him asking for it.

"You really need to find someone else to 'scratch your itch'." Machi huffed, slapping the homicidal clown's ass, knowing well enough that he couldn't answer through the gag she'd tied in his mouth. "Like a prostitute."

Despite her complaints, though, the woman gave another slap to Hisoka's ass. At least enjoying the chance to cause the annoying bastard some pain for all of the healing he demands of her, and his general flirty pestering. If he got some sense of pleasure out of her strikes, that was up to him, but for her, the sight of the powerful man on his belly, handcuffed to the bed posts with a ball gag keeping him silent was more cathartic than arousing. But, if it kept him from dragging himself to her for free healing, she was willing to tolerate his sexual appetite.

So, she grabbed the bottle of lube and stroked a thin layer of it onto the pink silicone strap on she wore. Then, she simply lined herself up and pushed into Hisoka, thanking whatever god there was that he had been gagged when he let out a pornographic moan.

But, she ignored his theatrics and simply grabbed onto his hips when he pushed back against her and began moving. Tuning out each lustful noise and letting the pink-haired man push his ass back to meet her thrusts eagerly, only focusing on humping into him and pacing herself. After all, the last time she’d rushed one of their ‘hook up’, Hisoka had whined and purposely increased her work load to spite her. So, she made sure her thrusts alternated between slow, deep movements, and quicker ones.

Plunging the pink toy into Hisoka, clawing into his scarred skin, and sprinkling in a few harsh slaps to the meat of his ass, Machi still found no pleasure in her companion, but she did feel a small seed of pride and power sprout in her chest. After all, while Hisoka Morrow was far too annoying and deranged for her to consider dating him, he was still insanely powerful. He almost never stopped training and pushing himself, which the pink-haired woman would’ve respected far more if he wasn’t so...indescriminate with that drive. So, while she did hold a bit of respect for his fighting abilities, and maybe a little for his sadistic joy, there were simply too many factors for the woman to get more than an ego boost out of the sexual aspect of their meetings.

Finally pulling herself out of that rabbit hole, Machi let out a slow breath and focused back in on the man she had tied down on the hotel bed. Noting his dishevelled pink hair, sweat-beaded skin, and muffled, needy moans as she lifted her hand and landed another severe blow to his, surely sore by that point, ass again, getting a more emphatic moan in response. Which, she took as a good sign and switched to a faster pace. The mulling over of Hisoka’s ambiguous, confusing signals could be pushed off for the time being. For now, she focused on the joy she got out of leaving an angry patch of red on the scarred man’s ass as she fucked him.

[meggie-moo]

Hello, Megan, I hope you don't mind any curious cats in your askbox, as I'm here to ask how did you fell into Homestuck? You seem like a relatively freshly-baked fan, and I wonder if there's a story behind it :3

Hope you're having a great day!

hello!!! i don’t mind at all! :D and i am a new fan, lol!

OKAY SO, in 2020, my friend dave got really into it (he’s actually even cooler than dave strider, it’s wild), and he was like, “please read homestuck” and since i was *literally* stuck at home, i thought “this is the perfect time, this is my homestuck moment.”

that being said, all my knowledge came from dave (who was currently getting scarred with the epilogues), which means all i knew was that:

1. there’s trolls

2. there’s characters known as karkat and dave, and they are in love.

3. there’s characters that represent zodiac signs, and when i asked dave “who represents mine?” he replied with, “i’m so sorry” (i’m a scorpio LMAO)

4. obama’s there, and dated someone’s newly evil brother??

5. sharpie bath tub 🤨

so i started reading it (the poor way, aka on the official website, on my phone), and i was SO confused. like who is John, why have i never heard about john, and where is karkat?? but i kept reading, and i did not hate it, i was just very lost LMAOO, i think i got to the end of act 1.

but the other problem was, is that it was on my phone and in safari. which means i was never inclined to open it again. i just kept that tab opened, and if it was a book, it would have been dusty as hell. i ended up taking a different path while being quarantined in 2020, aka glee 😔 i fell down that glee rabbit hole and i wasn’t going to leave it.

BUT, in the glee fandom i met like the coolest people alive. and one of those incredibly awesome people is my friend cherie :D in 2022, cherie fell back down their own homestuck rabbit hole once again, and this time they were bringing me down with her, LOL.

i started reading homestuck again, so i could talk about it with cherie, and i *finally* got into it (dave and i recently called, and we were drawing on whiteboard, and he still makes jokes about how long it took me LMAOOO). but cherie actually held me accountable for reading it, i could no longer leave it lost in my tabs, because everyday cherie would send me an epic “have you read homestuck today” reminder >:) i think i finally finished on easter 2023. (or maybe it was a few days before, because i remember reading the candy epilogue on easter, but just know it was around that time!!)

so ty to my friends for giving me brainrot, i love them very much <3 i don’t regret it at all, because when i entered my glee era i stopped drawing for awhile, but being in the homestuck fandom as really revived that spark. i feel like i’m 14 again, and it’s so much fun :D

thank you so much for the ask, and i hope this wasn’t too ramble-ly, lol!!! i would also love to hear how you got into homestuck as well! :D

[ravenwolfie97]

2022 Art Summary

it is that time of the year again, folks. this year has felt like forever and so short simultaneously. it’s felt like nothing and everything was happening. it was a weird year for me, probably because for the most part it was rather monotonous. but there were some good things to look back on, and as per usual i’m here to round it up here for you all to look at and enjoy :3

i’ll be honest. i was really worried about the art summary this year at first because these first few months were so sparse. i even considered just condensing the whole thing into quarters since this one was so lacking. but as the year went on, the more things i had to share, so for sake of brevity i will be putting the first three months up all at once

included in this quarter are assorted Cosmic Legacy character sketches, a Genshin Impact sona to continue the trend i had wanted to set at the end of 2021 (which i did not continue afterward), a lil valentine’s day present to my girlfriend, and a shiny form for my sona that was just part of a inside bandwagon. not much to say otherwise :/

the one major thing that happened in the first few months of 2022 was that i FINALLY. GOT MY HANDS. ON A NINTENDO SWITCH. I CAN NO LONGER MEME ABOUT BEING SWITCHLESS

so that was pretty exciting :>

the release of Pokemon Legends: Arceus is what broke me, but before i played that i started off with a blind nuzlocke of Pokemon Shield, which is what the lil digital doodle in March is about; i had just caught a Stunky i named Wasabi and i was indifferent to Stunky up until catching him where i just fell in love with it

so, AI art, huh? this was when it was burgeoning, and still fun and popular to make. so when i saw some people using a 3d pokemon generator i made a whole bunch and gave it a go. i generated about 30 of them and hadn’t quite gotten to around a third of that, but the few i did were really fun to draw!

(the lil gremlin one at the top corner is uncolored here bc when i did try to color it my brain fully glitched and screwed up royally so i opted out of showing my failure here lol)

so my friend Cake started streaming a game called Your Turn to Die with me and our partner Stacey during the spring starting in late March, and it was such an incredible time that i miss being a part of (if you wanna watch our full playthrough, the vods are saved on her channel here)

so towards the end of our playthrough i decided to try my hand at drawing some stuff because my brain could not simply hold all of my feelings for them

i am definitely not biased because i played both Keiji and Rio Ranger in the stream, but i sure did like them a lot, and it was really fun to draw them :>

had a lot of cosmic drawings this month, most likely due to celebrating the One Year Anniversary of the concept at the beginning of the month! we celebrated with a cute little collab. i happened to continue the cosmic train on my end by coming up with a funny meme video idea (that we will get back to multiple times later on) and i also worked on a couple pieces in preparation for an upcoming event in the next month...

I FINALLY REMEMBERED TO SIGN UP AND PARTICIPATE IN ARTFIGHT FOR THE FIRST TIME

it was a really fun event but i did not anticipate how late i would start my entries and how much time it would take to do them well, so i only got a few out, but i��m really proud of them! it was awesome to see all these brain children of random people from all around, and to get a couple responses back of my own as well! i’m excited to give it another go next year :3

i did not get a whole lot of art things done this month because MY GIRLFRIEND (and her roommate) CAME FROM OVERSEAS TO VISIT!!

it was such a great time being with them, and we had so much going on i didn’t get much opportunity to do much, but that was fine. one thing, related to my partner actually, is my pokemon gym trainer sona here! Stacey had been thinking about a fakemon region and wanted her friends as gym leaders, so i offered myself as a ground-type trainer, since it’s one of my favorite types and is rather underrated

a little more work got done on the cosmic meme video, and a couple other lil doodles. not much else artwise, but an awesome month regardless :3

idk why this month was so lacking, cuz this is pretty much all i had lol

the one decent sketch of my sona being angy was inspired by a post i found on here that was like... if you were a villain in a movie, what song would be playing at the point you would snap

and the choice i made was Faint by Linkin Park cuz it seemed applicable. and then my brain decided to listen to it on repeat and i ended up drawing that sketch. so that was cool :0

as per usual i do at least attempt to do an october art challenge, and this time i wanted to try this year’s annual list from Thomas Sanders, and it was pretty fun! i was really into it the first week, but then i got behind and after that point many of the prompts didn’t hold my attention, so... i trailed off. again

but! i do really like these ones in particular. didn’t really have much else after that so i’m glad i had fun with those

again this is p much all i had - november was a pretty nice time actually, with lots of gaming stuff going on with me n friends, but not so much art stuff was going on then

after having completed playing pkmn shield back in june, i tried my hand at pkmn legends pretty much right after that... and it didn’t quite click with me, though i did really like it. and then over the next few months i got back into pkmn go and that’s when i realized That’s more like what legends is about - it just screwed me up coming from a regular pkmn game. so, this month, i picked it up again and i’ve gotten much farther and much more attached!

in addition, later in the month my friends and i got back into playing stardew valley after nearly a year’s hiatus, and we made our characters based on the main trio in Cosmic Legacy, and so i drew Lalun with a parsnip. it was funny

and speaking of cosmic and video game things, Sonic Frontiers came out and i... did not get that one (though i will one day cuz it looks rad) BUT one of my friends got super into it and got me hooked on one of the songs, and then the part of my brain that associates fandom stuff with songs (a rarely triggered part of my brain) started to tie that to [REDACTED] here, as inspiration for their character. maybe. idk but the song gave me vibes that they could definitely have and i thought it was cool and i made a cool art with it too so yay

and here we are, at the end of the year! the sonic hype train was still rolling so i thought about giving them another go and they turned out pretty good! and i pumped out some more pokemon content at the very end to inflate this month’s art stuff a lil bit more

OH YEAH and that cosmic meme got finished just in time for crimmis! here is the link to that since i would not post it here

all in all it’s been. a year, to say the least. i am definitely looking forward to new things in the new year, but this one had been pretty alright. lots of fun and memorable things that hopefully i can continue doing similarly in the future :3

[mischievouschan4-old]

Tag Game to Better Know You

I have never been tagged in one of these before! Many thanks to @shywhitemoose​ for including me!

What book are you currently reading?

I am listening to the audiobook for “The First 90 Days: Proven Strategies for Getting Up to Speed Faster and Smarter” right now on the recommendation of my roommate. I just started a new job, and apparently it’s a great guide for leaders/new roles!

What’s your favourite movie you saw in theatres this year?

The only movies I’ve seen in theaters in 2023 so far have been Avatar: The Way of Water and Hidden Blade... neither of which I would consider a favorite. Can I extend this back further and say Top Gun: Maverick?

What do you usually wear?

I live in sweatpants and sweatshirts! If I’m at work though, it’ll be a nice dress (but with gym shoes LOL) ✨

How tall are you?

Somewhere between 5′9″ and 5′10″ or around 178cm!

What’s your star sign? Do you share a birthday with a celebrity or a historical event?

Pisces. And not that I know of off the top of my head!

Do you go by your name or a nickname?

Usually my full name, which is a bit difficult to shorten, but my good friends will call me by nicknames!

Did you grow up to become what you wanted to be when you were a child?

HA. I’ve wanted to be a stay-at-home mom since the First Grade. I’m 28 now, partnerless, childless, property-less, but have 2 Masters degrees and 2 major professional certifications under my belt, so mayhaps I’m on my way to a successful career at least?

TLDR: NO (but hopeful!)

Are you in a relationship? If not, who is your crush if you have one?

See above haha, NO (but hopeful!)

If you want to help me change this, hit me up 😉

What’s something you’re good at vs. something you’re bad at?

I think there are a lot of things I’m “decent” at, especially artistically? I like painting landscapes, figure drawing, playing certain instruments, cooking, baking, court sports. 

I am bad at lying and horrible at letting loose in front of people. I can come across as quite reserved and easily embarrassed in person, but uh... very opposite in other areas hahaha (namely my fic)

Dogs or cats?

Both! But my roommate has the most wonderful dog right now, and I am just head over heels in love. 

If you draw/write, or create in any way, what’s your favourite picture/favourite line/favourite etc. from something you created this year?

It’s definitely not the smuttiest or most interesting thing I think I’ve written, but coming up with some of my own lore for my fic Transference was super rewarding! This is an excerpt from Chapter 4 where good-guy Dooku teaches Obi-Wan about Force Lightning: (please mind the tags if you read the actual fic!)

“Close your eyes and find your inner peace, Padawan. Go for depth over breadth and try to strip away everything superfluous,” the older man intoned calmly, as if leading a meditation. “At our cores, we are all just made of stardust, and the forces that bind are not so different between you, a Stewjonian; me, a Serrenian; and lightning, the purest form of energy. Wherever you are, you must look even deeper and sense this connection at an atomic level.”

He tapped gentle fingers against Obi-Wan’s forehead, chest, and abdomen successively, focusing their combined attention on each subsequent chakra zone. With his eyes closed, the younger man could almost see with the Force, the glow of each of their signatures, organized collections of raw energy, pulsing brightly against the vastness of the empty chamber.

“Once you feel our resonance,” Dooku continued, lifting Obi-Wan’s arm by the wrist and dragging his fingers from the younger man’s palm to his heart and back again, “You will be able to catch my lightning blast, reel it in, and make it your own.”

“I can feel it, Master Dooku,” Obi-Wan said softly, concentrating hard.

“Finally, at the release, take care to bind your essence tightly,” the old Master cautioned and placed a hand over his pupil’s diaphragm. “You must simultaneously maintain the integrity of your vessel while focusing on your target. Do not let the energy drain any part of you as it leaves your body. Understood?”

What’s something you’d like to create content for?

I really wanted to try recording podfic this year, and decided just to go for it with Adrift and Entangled! If that doesn’t count since it’s already kind of happened, I would love to draw something for the Obikin fandom.

What’s something you’re currently obsessed with?

Obikin and podcasts! I’ve been loving my morning routine of listening to The Daily and Hardfork. If you’ve never listened to them before or if you want to get caught up on the news, HIGHLY RECOMMEND.

What’s something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year?

Well, within the past year, I moved halfway across the country to start a fancy new job after grad school, promptly got laid off 3 months in, and then spent the rest of the winter in depression and stressing out about finding new employment. 

All is well now, but the shiny new life was not very fun for about 5-6 months.

What’s a hidden talent of yours?

I have been told I give great massages 🥰 And I love giving them, they are the perfect combination of two of my love languages - physical touch and acts of service LOL

Are you religious?

Negative.

What’s something you wish to have at this moment?

50/50 between 1) more hours in a day (because there’s just too much to do) and 2) fic that will write itself LOL

No pressure tags: @dark--whisperings​ @saratutti​ @dreaminghour​ and anyone else who wants to do it (but please tag me if you do, so I can read it!)