#i’m so upset i was so excited for him
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literally coming on here after 2039 years to say how upset i am over alhaithams nerfs ……..
#literally why……#he wasn’t even game breaking before#none of the new 5 stars have been interesting at all#i didn’t realise this but people are pointing out that there are hyv is allergic to making good male dps#and it rlly does fucking seem so huh….#like … are they purposely making dps’s that isn’t technically bad#but u just need more investment and time to make them good ???#like is that what it is??#it’s fucking stupid#i’m so upset i was so excited for him#i was gonna get him and his weapon for my birthday#700% to 150%………#they literally nerfed every part of his kit#not even his weapon was spared#ppl saying that the numbers are the same as nahida but don’t realise that nahida is a support/sub dps#+ utility and dendro application#alhaitham being an on field dps doing the same numbers as an off field support / sub dps???#apparently cn is very upset but hyv listens to international fans more
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i really don’t think it’s “typical dragon age fandom nonsense” for people to be genuinely upset about the world state choices. combat, level design, art direction, gameplay gimmicks, those have all varied across each dragon age game. the one thing that’s remained constant are nods to our previous choices.
i wasn’t expecting my HoF to come riding in on a griffon, but i can’t find a monument dedicated to warden tabris somewhere around the anderfels? lucanis couldn’t have some lines about the time that one arainai boy was stirring up trouble in antiva city? you’re gonna tell me that making a mage the new divine wouldn’t have some impact on nevarra and antiva? on the anderfels, the supposed most devout militant andrastian nation in thedas? you’re saying nobody in the north is paying attention to who rules orlais or ferelden? come on.
#dragon age#yes i’ve seen john epler’s explanation on only wanting to carry forward choices that they could ‘really do something with.’#and i understand what he’s saying and i’m curious to see how those 3 choices they brought forward will impact the story!!#but i’m still disappointed. and i think telling people why they shouldn’t be disappointed is just gonna make them More disappointed.#also don’t really appreciate dev comments like ‘careful what you wish for with cameos. it just gives us an excuse to find new and horrific#ways to kill your faves teehee 🤭🤭’ like okay???????? what???#alistair came back twice & could be fine both times. loghain’s inquisition cameo was so meaningful because who the hell expected to see him#again? leliana can straight up die in origins and yall brought her back anyways. like what are we doing out here.#also when i think of ‘typical’ nonsense for this fandom it’s people doxxing each other over fictional character opinions. or what#fictional side your fictional inquistor took in the fictional mage-templar war. or just plain old racism.#NOT ‘damn it’s fucking upsetting that this excited replay i’ve been doing of the previous games and all the recommending i’ve been doing#for new fans to play the other games before veilguard has turned out to be pretty fucking pointless.’#might as well tell someone to watch a let’s play of trespasser and that’s it.#11/26 in a hater mood so i’m turning rbs back on lol. go forth & be petty
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Izuku Midoriya, the child of villainy.
I didn’t forget I have a tumblr for COE I have no idea what you’re talking about….,,,..,.
#Everyone in the discord server is upset I haven’t talked about the tumblr…#For those who don’t know we’re 36 chapters into the fic#No AFO yet but he comes up soon which is why I’m posting about him#I’m so excited#cost of everything au#fanfiction#i’ll be your hero (at the cost of everything)#mha#mha fanfiction#fanart#digital art#art#my hero academia#mha headcanons
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nicks like . fine. he’s fucking it up in hell as a torso rn <3
#hermie watching ted lasso is something that can be so personal#VERY upset he’s been forgotten so much that he’s angry about it in character#it’s worrying but like I’m excited for hermie angry arc#also genuinely I think nick is fine#lincoln killed this episode I LOVE this pissboy#also normal having c grades but also still catching up on homework . I love him#aND IM WORRIED ABT HIM GOD#digital art#dndads#dungeons and daddies#normal oak#hermie the unworthy#lincoln li wilson#scary marlowe#taylor swift dndads#Nicholas foster#sorry this is late :((((( I was having a bad time and also midterms
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life comes at you so fast
#tw personal#tw death#tw cancer#not my usual silly goofy post but it’s hard to remain that way when there’s a lot weighing on your mind#cancer sucks#and it’s unfair how quickly it can take people from us#one moment they seem fine and the next they’re in the icu with a week left to live#he passed two nights ago#i wasn’t planning to post about it but i have the tendency to disassociate from my grief#so here i am instead of wherever the hell!#it’s heartbreaking because he and his wife weren’t just my mum’s bosses - they were long-time friends#i have clear childhood memories of playing at their house with their son#his youngest child is only 3 years old#as soon as he found out he started giving his final messages to his staff#obviously nobody wants to die in that situation#but you could feel how much he *wanted to live*#when i was told about his death it was in the morning and it didn’t feel real#every time i had seen him in the last year he always had a smile on his face#it’s always been hard for me to deal with the prospect of death#and understand how fragile life is#how REAL mortality is#it hits even harder when it happens to someone who was so FULL of life#sighs#life comes at you fast#sometimes in all directions and in every possible and testing way imaginable#i’ve been trying to write and feel any sense of normalcy this evening but for a multitude of reasons i have a sinking feeling in my stomach#sometimes when i’m upset i try recycle the feeling into excitement or happiness over something else#yeah … i can’t really do that tonight#apologies if my energy is bleh. hold your loved ones close. now i return you to my regular scheduled programming
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so people have been meeting DBB at a convention this weekend and asking him about TBB season 3. he obviously isn’t saying much about it, but he seems very positive about it. giving implications that it’ll be very emotional, but not necessarily in a bad way. also, he told someone that Hunter fans are gonna be very happy with this season. so yeah. my hopefulness has increased tenfold \o/
#I just keep seeing things on Twitter#several people are reporting their experiences#and I honestly trust Dee more than anyone else involved in the show#so if he’s acting positive about it then I’m not gonna worry#cause he’s been pretty vocal about things that upset him (*coughFIVEScough*)#I’m just gonna keep the Hunter comment rotating in my head for the next few weeks haha#I am SO excited#\o/#star warz
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i love my lab job but my god my manager is so mean for no reason 😭😭😭
#🎀 - mello talks too much#he will like give me these random pop quizzes#on super specific microbiology questions from last semester#and then gets like passive aggressively upset when i don’t know it#or when i ask a question for a lab he acts like im genuinely the stupidest person alive#he treats my other coworker way worste tho so i can’t complain too much 🥲🥲#i work alone for most of my shift but whenever he walks in i’m always so tense bc i don’t want him to get upset at me over something 🥲🥲#hate to say it but i’m kinda excited for this job to end (i only have it for the semester)#just bc he stresses me out#LOL#then i’ll hopefully get a new lab job!! hopefully in a hospital this time
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#I reached out to an old internet friend three days ago and I still haven’t heard a response#and honestly I didn’t expect it to confuse and upset me as much as it has lol#like I realize we’re both old and have actual lives now#but every time I’ve reached out to him in the past or vice versa it’s been like an immediate response full of warmth and excitement#and I was really hoping for that#so to just get radio silence I’m like ?????#do you hate me lol#I just want to play runescape together lol
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hey just a reminder that sometimes you have to accept that you’re going to have to have feelings without a filter, and you’re going to have to tell people that you care about them, and you’re going to have to start saying i love you. if you want affection and love and adoration you cannot close yourself off forever and ever. keep up your walls as you must to protect yourself but not forever. and if you feel like you can’t ever let them down then i’m sorry. i hope you find someone that makes you feel safe enough to start saying and feeling these things.
#lolaa.txt#little thing about emotions.#i’m not affectionate. not really.#im a deflector and i laugh off affection and love a lot#and all it has ever done for me is push away people who want to help me so so badly.#and it’s a slow change. slowwwww. the tiniest steps .#and i go back so often.#today my boyfriend said he missed me and that i was pretty when i woke up and i told him i was going to never speak to him again#because i cannot accept these things and it so so hard to say that i appreciate it#but i know i know he needs to hear it and he needs to feel appreciated yknow?#and im working on it im trying so hard#especially when you have been fucked over for saying your feelings in the past. it’s hard. it’s so hard. and i’m sorry#just. tell your friends you love them. tell people when you’re excited or happy.#smile when you get to do fun things. laugh at jokes! scream and yell and cry and hit things and grin and be out there#numbness will not fix what problems you have. it won’t.#it’s comfortable but you can’t have love without discomfort sometimes#sorry about all this i’m just . i’m having a bad day and it’s really hard today to be open to everyone#so this is my try#i am upset. and i miss my friends. and i love my mom and i am also mad at her because i am frustrated with the world right now.#and i am tired but because its tiring to force myself to exist and feel#i need to relearn how to be a child about it#and that’s okay#that’s all ; sorry for the long tags. thank you for being here
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so. my sister and her boyfriend weren’t going to move in after all….but now they’re moving in for two weeks :))))
#rambles#i’m sooo excited this won’t be awkward at all 🙄#i don’t want to interact with him at all#he’s a piece of shit. i’m so upset that she decided to stay with him
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Me, opening up a packet of the stuff the vet gave me: “I hope this probiotic powder doesn’t put my cat off his food. Can’t really help with his digestion issues if he doesn’t eat it”
I spill some because my hands can have problems with stability
My cat: *licks the stuff up like a kid who just discovered what powdered sugar was*
Me: “is this flavored?”
My cat: begs me for more powder and momentarily forgets his food
Me: “this has to be flavored”
#emma posts#sometimes him getting excited about new flavors for kitties is good#but other times his love of flavor exploration will lead him to eating a food he’s allergic to#and I can’t figure out what he’s reacting to right away because he just keeps eating the thing that makes his tummy hurt#at least I stop using things I realize cause allergic reactions#you’d think a little guy who doesn’t even know what allergies are would be even more off put by them#he’s so finicky about so many random things! but he loves new foods. especially more expensive ones. and that food was more expensive#this time he is getting a food for upset hairball tummies and has been enjoying it more than his old stuff too#I just hope that him traveling back and forth between his old food at my parents house and new food here causes problems#his old man tummy is getting more sensitive than it used to be and he’s getting a different food now… hopefully. and vitamins while he gets#these probiotics to hopefully make the change easier. I don’t want to jinx it but so far it seems to be really helpful#he hasn’t even gotten one hairball since starting the hairball food! and he loves his new vitamin treats#hopefully he’ll keep doing well with the old kitty vitamin treats#I want him to get his old man vitamins#even if he’s super healthy for his age. it’s good not to get worse!#i would know. as someone who dealt with not eating enough from medication side effects#I’m better now though! I switched meds and take more vitamins just in case#anyway. eating food is important for humans and kitties if you can get it it’s important!#and if your cat doesn’t get or absorb enough food they could get permanent damage to their bodies. never let your cat go more than three#days without food! try to make sure that they eat at least every 12 hours#they might not need as much food as you. but they can get a lot sicker a lot faster than humans usually do#I can ramble on and on about cat health though 😅 I just love my little guy so much#combo of better food formulated for hairballs and not giving him an allergic reaction with the probiotics too seems to be helping a lot#i knew cheap food wasn’t usually quite as good as the slightly more expensive stuff but holy shit. since moving out and now switching food#it’s been going so well for him! maybe I should ask my family to change the other cats food. I just hope that an extra 9$ a bag isn’t#off putting for them. i feel like fewer hairballs should be a great selling point
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my god churro is the lone woman performing amid a bunch of men saturday night
what a brave girl! ugh i’m so proud of her and also fuckin terrified that i’ll hate the set. it’s supposed to be edgy humor, so i’ll just brace myself to expect what i hear from josh on the regular, i guess. but churro also said she was doing a couple jokes about our grandfather (the bad one), and frankly THAT makes me worried about how i’ll respond to someone making jokes about… about what? what he did? the trial? my god, charity was just a little baby when all of that happened.
i want tomorrow night to be about her, though, not about how i feel about someone making light of an ordeal that tore our family apart and hurt so many people i love— including churro— you know? so, like, while i was definitely encouraged to only ever look upon that issue with the utmost seriousness (you have to be serious if you’re testifying in a criminal trial, uh, helloooo), i will do my best to have a sense of humor about it
#i’m not a brittle baby i can take it#it was traumatic in a bunch of ways but you know one way to deal with trauma is humor#and that was never encouraged until well i guess this weekend#i’m a cool supportive big sister gdi#but also! the thing about how what he did tore our family apart:#we just splintered. not entirely. most everyone else stuck together but my dad getting his dad arrested and pushing for a trial made him#the black sheep among his family#if there was a black sheep before him they no longer need to worry about that being their role#but what this meant is that suddenly we stopped seeing everyone#our holidays changed entirely!#and it breaks my heart to know that my siblings were too young to ever really know what they missed out on!#so i don’t think it upsets them as deeply because they can’t miss what they never had#but they deserved the excitement and joy that was being surrounded by cousins around your age#alex and amber were close in age to noah and ham#and ham was just beginning this beautiful friendship with amber when the trial happened#that suddenly had to stop#they would have had such pleasant holidays filled with love#and dark twisted family secrets and vague warnings not to ever be alone with grampa yes#but the cousin dynamic was so golden. it was so important to my growth as a person and got me through so much#having cousins like nicole and jackie and tori to count on#not so much tori because she was very young and we didn’t wanna like corrupt her
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My sister’s graduation day 😤 let’s go 👏🏽
#gosh it’s gonna be a long day and I’m running on two hours of sleep again#i only get the chance to work at night because I don’t have ✨privacy✨#and I’ve been going to bed late and waking up even more tired than usual and my mom’s been scolding me for it#and now I’ve had to tell her what I’m doing and I feel like I just gave another piece of me away again#everything I am everything I do has to be for other people#im so tired when will I give my last piece away 🥹#this was to make ME proud of ME I was doing it for myself and now I feel like it’s for her#and then she’s going to tell my dad and now it’s for him too#also I can’t even cry about it because she HAS to know why I’m upset#she keeps glancing up at me and talking to me in bits#all I have left is my emotions 🥹#anyhow sorry to start the day off so gloomy and depressing I have literally nothing to be sad about I’m very privileged#sorry you guys see me being a baby constantly 🥺 I really do have a good life and shouldn’t be complaining#here’s to a better day for us all#melifails#now i feel like a jerk subjecting you all to this😭 sorry sorry let’s move on#im gonna be a busy bee hopefully I can squeeze in a time for a nap#😭 I don’t waaaaaannnnnaaa sit for hours in the California heat MAYBE with the sun hitting us in the face#our football field is NOT kind in this way#hopefully my sister gets the shady side but even then the sun will hit us in the face eventually just not as long#im !!! excited!!!! I bought ice cream for today 👏🏽 I originally bought choco chip and minto moose tracks?? my sister loves mint flavor#so I bought mint Oreos too so she can eat them with her ice cream 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽#i assume we’re getting take out of some sort so that; ice cream; and uuuuuuu I don’t remember anything else I bought; my best friend did#bring us snacks yesterday!!! pretzels and cookies!!! so that!!!#okay brain no work no more I gotta get dressed love you muah muah muah
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i dunno if it’s happening today bc i am so low on energy i could fade into the ether, but expect my muse list to be edited soon as well as certain muses to be revamped! it really just needs to be done uvu
#get ready to ramble | ooc#it’s probably not gonna come as a surprise but we’re fr dropping kny muses except maybe kaigaku bc i put so much thought into him#maybe i’ll try to give him verses?#bc the thing is i just am not feeling kny atm#so it’s not fair to have my canons on the roster — same for spiderverse#love miguel and pav but i don’t ever get to write them much less chiyo’s atsv au or yuzu#and i hope that doesn’t come off upset? bc i’m not i’m just kinda like#there’s no point having certain muses on my roster if i have no muse/can’t use them#i’d rather clear the way for other muses like delwyn and arata#and i do appreciate the people who let me write these muses 💜 it’s just time for a change#especially bc i wanna revamp hyouka satsuki and yubari!!#hyouka and satsuki are getting properly thrown into jjk and yubari babyyyy#he’s finally getting his modern deity storyline#i’ve rambled enough so i won’t get into it here but i’m very excited for him!!#anyway i hope y’all are having a good monday 💜#i’m just relaxing for now but maybe i’ll get online properly later!
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bought myself a new lil dabi plush as both a reward and a comfort after visiting my dad :)
#but also to continue adding to my dabi plush collection#i just realized i MISSED ONE and while i’m not like super upset over it because he wasn’t *that* cute i’m still pretty :((((#fomo is one helluva drug LMAO#i hate it >.<#ah well#anyway he’s super cute#he’s just one of those lil keychain plushies but i’m gonna put him in my itabag!!!!!!!!!#might be making a shig itabag this year i’m rly excited hehe c:#anyway i probably won’t be online much today!!!!!! just a heads up! <3#have a wonderful monday my friends i love u all so much#clari chatters
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I forget how much I hate the taste of vodka but the whipped cream vodka is so much better my god
#make a drink sweet enough that you can’t taste it when it’s in ur mouth and then all u get is the whipped cream vodka in the burn#makes drinks more tolerable#also this is the fastest I think I’ve ever chugged an alcoholic drink#we are gonna get fucked up tonight bc we have daddy issues and fought with our mom this morning slayyy#smoked a cigarette at the lake now getting fucked up in my room while home alone#life is so good and it’s all bullshit forever#literally we could all die and it doesn’t matter and life is weird and crazy and I am happy it sucks and I am so fucking thrilled to be aliv#at all#life is good regardless of death but I wish death would just like wait patiently for my family#dad I miss u I hope you had a good four twenty where ever you ended up. im sorry moms acting like this. I hope my brothers okay at school.#I hope he’s having a good time and isn’t completely overwhelmed with everything. I was right and apparently he’s gonna come home after grad#uation and im excited to have him home again but my mothers all upset. I know it sucks that you’re dead but it’s nice knowing in a weird way#that you’re the reason me and hunter got close again. so thanks I guess for that. and smoking made me and mom grow closer. idk. you’ve done#a lot for us and most of it had to do with weed. today hurt worse than my birthday. or the six month anniversary. today sucked. and no one#else seemed to be torn apart by it and it made me feel like I was going crazy and no one could even tell#you would’ve noticed if I was acting different. I love you. wherever you are I still love you. and I’m sorry. I’m sorry I was such a bitch.#and I wish I took better care of you. but you were my father I wasn’t supposed to take care of you. you should’ve been there for me. we shou#have been there for mom and hunter and your parents and I’ve been thinking a lot about grammie actually. I don’t know how I feel. thinking#about her makes me cry now. I don’t have the heart to make her cry talking about my childhood but I miss her. and I miss being young. I miss#you coming to my Father’s Day dance recitals and coming back from bike week in Laconia and bringing me flowers always wearing your grey#Harley Davidson jacket and you’d have flowers in your arms and you’d be bored but so proud and you’d hug me and you’d smell like weed and#your beard was always scratchy when you’d hug me and I just miss you a lot. I miss you and I fucking hate you for it fuck.#note to self. don’t be pmsing and then get drinking and smoking and thinking of your dead father. you will cry
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