#i’m so curious as to where these tracks are leading lol

[akkivee]

it might be a little too early to say this, but so far, we’ve had elements from manga only developments play out in this round of drama tracks; in the bb track saburo and jiro hear out and take responsibility for different sides of an argument, which happens in bbmtc➕ chapter 8, and rio maybe has to stop his old team from attacking chuuoku in the mtc drama, the main issue in bbmtc chapter 7

so maybe fp and mtr will have similar plots that lowkey stem from the manga only stuff 🤔

[chimkin-samich]

Hello it’s me again asking about the merman au!

1- how where they found? (Did they come out on their own or were they captured?)

2- what research were made on them? Why are sun and moon being kept around?

3- when did eclipse came in the picture ?

4- how (and who) did the researcher discovered that sun and moon needed heat suppressants??? (I’m the most curious about this one lol)

Aand i think that’s it for now. Sorry if i asked things that are already known, i pretty new to your blog and art

Oooo many questions time for a long post, gonna put under a read more to not take up the whole feed lol

I think weve answered some of these before but we’ve changed some plot here and there so will answer em again

1) All 3 of the boys are wild mers each from their own individual pods, Eclipse raised the 2 ,Sun from age 10 and Moon from age 13. Sun and Moon were caught when they were young adults at age 18(sun) 19(moon) and were taken to the aquarium were they first did shows until Moon became hostile and after a bloody incident they were just shoved into the tank they are in when they first meet Tari

2) Fish mers are extremely elusive compared to their mammal mer counterparts so not a lot was really known on any of the fish mers, so the research was a mix of both biology and behaviors, unfortunately because of this the general public and ethical marine biologist are unaware of the level of intelligence they have and once that comes out with ppl who keep fish mers they keep that secret to keep their “precious specimens”,

this becomes prominent during the part of the story after Tari frees them and has to have a whole legal battle where she’s accused of being an “animal lover” let’s call it and freeing company property , luckily she kept files and recordings as evidence that helped her win the case and leads to a whole bunch of investigation on other aquariums and ppl who own fish mers that includes them into the law that protects cryptids and other sentient mythical creatures

3)Eclipse was in the picture at least with Sun and Moon from their preteens to their early adult years when they were captured, He comes into the picture with Tari about a year after the boys are freed, Tari was left alone for a year after their escape because the two got caught in a current that pulled them further away so they basically had to find her after getting lost

Eclipse shows up a few months after they show up cuz he had been tracking their scent when he caught it on a current but took a while to catch up since they were on a constant frenzied search looking for her, he did try to kill her since he believed that she was their captor but her experience with Moon gave her a hand with escaping him by temporarily blinding him lol

4)Heat suppressants are a thing since like mentioned before, cryptid’s and other mythical creatures/furries are a thing separated in categories, either Beasts(those who look like creatures so mers, minotaurs etc.) and Shifters(anything that can fall in the were (werewolf for example) category or can change parts of their appearance in someway)

A lot of Beasts and Shifters have heats so it was more a matter of seeing what type and dosage they needed to keep theirs suppressed

[communistkenobi]

would you be at all willing to talk about your experience of undergrad vs grad school? personally i struggled quite a bit in undergrad but am still always tempted to go back, and i think maybe the narrowed focus of grad school would be a little easier to handle, but i'm not sure if that would actually be the case... & perhaps your experience was something else completely and maybe this is too vague also lol, but i'm very curious about how you felt they were different!

yeah totally! My experience is doing graduate degrees (writing a thesis) in the faculty of social science in Canadian universities, so everything I’m about to say comes from that specific context. Definitely not universal lol

in my experience grad school is a lot more customised than undergrad. You still have required courses, non-course degree milestones (usually you’re required to present your work at conferences, which can get expensive and isn’t always covered by your department, as well as produce summaries of work you’ve done, research proposals, scholarship applications, etc), and standardised expectations, but you have a lot more choice in the courses you take and what topics you focus on. One university I was at was very relaxed about deadlines in grad school (I easily got extensions from profs without needing doctors notes or official accommodations, i was given the ability to redo assignments, etc), and the other was the ecact opposite (treated me like a idiot for needing extra time with work). If you’re doing a thesis project, a lot of your degree is independent work that you do in your own time - this was a huge struggle for me at the end of my masters, and I had to do “martial law” with my graduate friends at the very end, which basically meant us instituting a highly regimented schedule together made up of work sessions and breaks where we would each meet up and work on finishing our thesis (1 hour of work then 15 min break, rince and repeat, do this for four or five sessions a day every day). You are on a time crunch as you only receive funding for so many years, if you get offered funding at all.

your supervisor has a lot of control and influence over you - they are meant to guide you through the research process, develop your project, give you feedback, provide you with appropriate literature, double check your work, and help you get grants / funding. If you get a bad one it can legitimately ruin your life. I have had hilariously bad luck with supervisors (I’ve had to switch supervisors twice due to discrimination and breaches of provincial human rights law - which is not the norm to my understanding lol).

it depends on why you want to go to grad school and what you plan to do after. I want to stay in academia so that’s where most of my advice comes from. Tenure-track positions are incredibly difficult to secure and if you’re serious about staying in the academy you should be publishing your research while you’re still in graduate school, and treat every term paper as a draft of something you’re going to publish. I also have backup jobs I know I can apply for outside of academia if I don’t get any academic offers.

it’s relatively common for students to join a two or four year grad program but take way more time than that to finish. Usually if you get any funding packages, they only cover the official allotted years (in my experience, two for a master’s, four for PhD), meaning that if you need extra time, you could be finishing your degree with no funding and no guaranteed employment. If your supervisor is cool/connected they might have money they can swing your way, but it’s a tenuous and scary way to live if you have no other source of income.

funding usually comes from 1) grants your department gives you (they will tell you if they’re giving you money on your acceptance letter), 2) teaching assistant positions (I was/am required to be a TA, which usually involves grading undergraduate work, running labs, or leading teaching sessions/“tutorials”) and 3) federal scholarships that you are required to apply for. You need to write applications for these scholarships, usually including a research proposal, a CV/resume, a transcript of your grades, and recently, they’ve added a requirement for a diversity statement explaining any minority statuses you have and how that affects your education. TA work has an uneven workload from week to week, and usually most of the work is towards the end of the term when you’re grading final essays/exams, which creates crunch periods where you’re both working on your own coursework and grading undergrad work.

again a lot of this might not apply to your particular discipline or university or country. Usually universities list a lot of this info on their website, which can help you figure out what’s required of you. Grad school is structured like a full time job and it doesn’t pay very well even if you are funded. I lived with my parents for most of my master’s which gave me the financial stability to complete it. It’s not easy and it takes up most of your waking time, and it can leave you in a financially precarious position with a lot of debt. It’s definitely not something I would recommend for fun unless you have a lot of money and time to burn

[cherubchoirs]

I love the personalization you give V2 in your most recent comic, I’m reminded of Plato’s Socrates, they’re one step ahead of Michael’s arguments, picking them apart and shaking up expectations (and being a bit of a troll to boot), but from that I also get the feeling that these are questions V2’s already asked itself.

It’s a thinker, an asker, programmed and taught with human intelligence and curiosity, and in a world mostly bereft of people thinking and asking questions like them I bet it’d turn that curiosity inwards.

I also bet that V2’s very appreciative of having someone to bounce questions off of, someone of a different mindset and origins to provide differing lines of thought and alternative viewpoints. Argument need not be a negative experience, after all.

I’m betting a lot of things, they’re just stuck in my head now and I can’t help but think about how this snarky warrior-poet would contemplate its life. So perfectly human but also so perfectly inhuman, detached and attached to how we think.

I think I sent a rant about how much I love the way you write and draw a while back, I can tell you put so much thought and effort into your work, and I want to reiterate that, I ADORE the work you put in, it shows and it shines so brightly. Thank you for posting it.

(see this!)

WAAAUUUGHHH THANK YOU,,,,i've been wanting to do a lot of little character interaction comics, and with settling on a simpler style to get them done, i'll definitely have a few more i'll make!!

but that is a lot of what i think about v2 as a character - it's very different from the machines that surround it and didn't find any that could understand its curious, inquiring mind, so it had a lot of conversations with itself. it got to know gabriel, which was its first true conversational partner ever since humans got wiped out, but michael is a much different experience for it. while gabriel is great to talk with since he's gregarious and charming, michael is introverted and, for a warrior angel, a rather deep thinker with obvious existential questions weighing on his mind. yet those thoughts aren't allowed to go anywhere because mike needs to constantly keep himself "on track" and answer himself with what his faith dictates. v2, as a rather free thinker, just goes where logic leads it and accepts that as the truth. sure, it knows here that it's poking at mike by pointing out the similarities (it really can't help being a LITTLE annoying lol), but it also views mike as someone with a deep but narrow mind. he has so much potential, v2 KNOWS he's a lot like it in many ways, he just refuses to get out of the comfort zone of his rigid dogma. so it does something small here. because v2 sees this all differently - its name is perfectly unique, as it is the only one that is the second of the v-series, the same way mike's name is unique as he is a warrior of god named for his own battle cry. it knows he won't agree, he'll argue the differences in his talking points, but all v2 ever wants is for mike to think. he has a mind starved for it and wanting it, but no one could challenge him in any previous connection he had. he is the prince of heaven, always so right and always so intimidating, but v2 can start cracking away at him little by little...and it's exactly what both of them have wanted. they begin having healthy arguments, and i think their relationship is always marked by debating one another. it gives v2 the conversations it's always wanted and it gives mike more and more room to breathe in a philosophical mind that had always been so smothered.

[jumpywhumpywriter]

Hey, not sure if it’s recognizable but it’s the same anon who doesn’t know how to start messages. If you don’t mind me asking (I feel the need to ask permission for everything to be polite. Hope that’s not annoying. Also the need to use parenthesis to explain my actions like right now…I’ll stop), since I saw that it says you’re writing a fantasy book (I think, hopefully I’m not wrong), what’s it about? Feel free to share as much or as little as you like, I’m simply curious about it. Also also, somewhat unrelated, do you have any other favorite genres aside from Whump?

Again, feel free to answer as in depth or as curt as you want, I don’t mean to put pressure on you (people like talking about their works, right?). And also make sure you stay hydrated and take care of yourself and all that :)

-idk

Figured I’d leave a little tag as a little reference or something. Okay I’m going to stop before I start rambling-

Sorry it took so long to answer this one! I had to do a lot of writing for it. I'll TRY to give a summary of my in-progress trilogy, but it's pretty long since it's a full 3-book series and each book is HUGE and I've never been good at summarizing anyway LOL. But here goes!

The trilogy is about a teenager named Thomas whose dad mysterious died and whose brother Lucas went missing shortly after. Thomas is a hacker who is skilled with technology and is determined to track his brother down, convinced that he was kidnapped and needs saving. But every lead he finds comes to a dead end. He's dropped out of school and cut off his entire social life to dedicate more time to tracking down his missing brother.

Tanner, a close adult friend of his, worries about him getting into trouble and potentially going to prison since he has committed several felonies already by hacking into government databases during his search. So, he suggests seeking help from a friend of his. Only thing is... this friend isn't human. And she hates humans. But his secret friend (named Shadow) ALSO hates the same organization Thomas is trying to get in to, who has his brother Lucas. She is dangerous and powerful, and could be an incredibly valuable ally. She is one of the last survivors of a thought-to-be-extinct race called Falkry, with ancient powers. They were thought to have died off centuries ago, after Falley were hunted and slaughtered by the dozens by humans.

So with a mutual enemy, Tanner tries to get Shadow and Thomas together to talk, though Shadow wants nothing to do with it at first and despises Thomas (making many threats toward him in the beginning). She hates the fact that he is human, the same race that killed so many of her bloodline. She is ancient, supposed to be nothing more than a myth, a legend. She's one of the only survivors that exists. But eventually Tanner gets her on the team and together they manage to Lucas back.

Until a new stranger comes into play, someone just like Shadow. Which is strange since her species is supposed to be extinct. It leads into a mystery theme where Shadow is eager to discover this new stranger's identity, and *spoilor* it turns out to be her own brother (named Rowan) who died in her arms ages ago. But it turns out there was an enemy who found a way to bring him back to life to use him as a weapon, but he is corrupted, and is willing to fight Shadow to achieve his goal, which is to destroy the human city because humans are what got him killed in the first place.

And while Shadow HATES humans, she knows that if Rowan launches a large-scale attack on the city, it will spark a war between her kind and humans, and the humans have the numbers to finally make her species extinct for good. So it creates some internal conflict where Shadow is torn between not hurting her brother who she still loves, and stopping him to save the human city to prevent all-out war.

There is an epic battle at the end, where both Rowan and Shadow end up seriously injured, when Thomas appears and shoots a crazed Rowan to save Shadow -- but it doesn't work out like he expected, because then Rowan's focus shifts to killing HIM instead.

While Rowan's back is turned, Shadow gets up from where she'd been bleeding and broken on the ground -- and runs up to her brother, and kills him with her own dagger, finally accepting that he's too far gone to save. So her brother dies in her arms for a second time, shattering her heart with grief despite how much trauma and pain she's already endured.

After that, she decides to disappear from the map entirely, leaving Thomas and the human city to fly miles into the ocean to a lost island called Falkradia where her species used to exist before they were chased out by humans -- she wants to be alone, and be done with all the fighting and bloodshed. She partly blames Thomas for putting her in a situation where she had to choose between him and her brother in the first place, blaming him for forcing her to kill Rowan.

The island is hidden from all human radars and is surrounded by an eternal storm that shields it from view, a storm vicious enough to shred nearly any human vessel that tries to go through it to reach the island inside. So Shadow leaves the team Tanner helped put together.

This all takes place in book 1.

In book 2, to make it brief, a new threat arises that Shadow is one again recruited to help defeat, Tanner sending her a message via her close friend raven who knows how to fly through the storm and reach Falkradia to deliver the message to her asking for help.

Despite how morally-gray and careless Shadow is depicted as in book 1, she does show up to rejoin the team, though she is not enthusiastic about it.

A series of events occur after she comes back from ten island, but in the final battle against the overpowered foe... she dies to save Thomas. It has some powerful symbolism because up to this point Shadow has been very impassive and uncaring toward anyone, full of bitter anger and hatred, so no one knew she actually secretly cared about what happened to Thonas, who is her natural enemy as a human.

But Shadow still manages to kill her enemy right before she collapses in a final last act of good, and Thomas can't do anything but watch her slowly bleed out. Cue extremely sad death and drawn-out scene to rip reader's heart apart. The aftermath is tragic as the team grieves the loss of the morally-gray hero who gave her life to save and protect a human friend. (Okay, it wasn't as brief as I hoped oops)

In book three, a different kind of antagonist/protagonist plot develops, and it's a danger that Tanner, Thomas and the team know they would never stand a chance against on their own.

That's when Tanner reveals that he actually knows a way to bring back the dead. So they eventually agree to bring Shadow back after five long years of her being dead... but she isn't herself. She immediately starts attacking her friends the moment she is alive again, her mind and thoughts fractured from being dead for so long. And considering how dangerous she is, Thomas and friends have to find a way to take her down before she can kill them. And on TOP of that is the lingering anxiety surrounding the new threat they have to deal with, knowing that Shadow is likely the only one powerful enough to help destroy it -- IF they can get the legendary hero back, mind and soul included.

There is a LOT more details I left out for the sake of time, but these summaries hopefully give the vague gist of the stories (all 3 books in the trilogy are spectacularly lengthy so it's hard to give a good summary)

And my favorite genres aside from Whump is Science-Fiction & Fantasy

[gloriousmonsters]

I HAVE BEEN VERY VERY VERY CURIOUS ABOUT YOUR ORIGINAL WORK. JUST THE STUFF I SEE IN YOUR REBLOG TAGS OCASSIONALKY GOT ME WONDERING.

please. please tell about your original stuff. i am relatively new so if everyone else is already familiar with it i’m sorry but i need to catch up and am curious so. literally any of your original work(s) that u want to ramble most about, i’m all ears.

:D tbh I bring up some of them periodically, but not all THAT often, so I don't know if everyone's looped in lol. regardless I Will take this opportunity to talk about The Devil Doesn't Live Here, bc I don't think I've actually talked about that one since it went through some major changes at least.

The Devil Doesn't Live Here is the story of Sarah Merle, the reluctant offshoot of a mildly magic family who returns to her hometown to arrange the funeral of her last remaining relative. She's been gone for eleven years; the town of Neverfound Gap and the surrounding forest had taken a lot from her and her family growing up, but she'd drawn the line when something in the woods had taken both her eye and the memory of losing it when she was sixteen. When her father had taken her to live with him out of town, she chose to leave everything behind.

Now she's hoping to get in and out of town as quickly as possible, but when her dead grandmother gives her a cryptic warning about coming disaster--because yeah, that's just the kind of town this is--she's forced to stick around and confront the people that have changed dramatically in her absence. Chief among them is Fred, her former best friend who now hates her guts--and who narrates the other half of the book, the story of their past leading up to the day Sarah lost her eye. As Sarah searches for answers in the present, Fred falls deeper into his fascination with the woods in the past. As Sarah realizes the growing threat of a creature called the Woodsman, Fred is enchanted by its knowledge and the acceptance it offers.

Neither of them have the whole story, and a third part of it is still missing, but it's anyone's guess as to whether they can put it together before it's too late.

excerpt :D

Eleven years, but once she hits Pine Avenue she knows the way to the Merle house like she can trace the lines in her palm, without looking. Muscle memory. She’d started driving early--in a town small enough they didn’t even have a mayor, where the town elders mostly had their time taken up by mediating conflicts between the ROC and the church-going side of town, nobody had time to arrest a fifteen-year-old driving without a lisence. Fred had flatly turned down rides in her family’s rattling old pickup a few times, citing the likelihood it might just burst into flames one of these days, and the fumes it was currently pouring into the atmosphere (“Eco-friendly,” he’d always point out about his preferred mode of travel; one foot up on the pedal of his bike, turned back to watch her fight with the coughing old engine. “And it doesn’t crap out on cold mornings.”)

Mags hadn’t cared. Mags would ride in the bed of the truck, half the time, and regale her with gossip from the passenger seat otherwise. It’s like she can see him out of the corner of her eye as the Merle house blooms through the fog of rain, red hair slipping out of its tie as he bends his head toward the window, taps his fingers against the lowered glass.. Somebody’s missing a body again. But it’s a church family, so they’re fighting the ROC over who should try and track it down…

Hallowed Grounds was a popular place, with ROC and tourists; and as much as Sarah hadn’t cared for the ROC, she’d preferred their gossip to the kind of stuff the church side of town tended to spread. When she was fifteen, it had felt like half of it was about her.

She crawls to a halt in the muddy driveway, turns the car off and hears it rattle into silence. It’s newer than the old Merle pickup, but still third-hand, bought cheap and maintained as cheap as she can manage. The rain drums loudly against the roof, and as the windshield wipers still Sarah watches the Merle House go from blurry to blurrier through the heavy sheets of rain.

Home.

[swiftstreetfox]

curious about "won't you wear my flower crown"! :D

Ohohoho! You have chosen one of the few fics I’ve actually fleshed out to some degree, and made art around lol. I’ve got a bullet-point outline and about 3k worth of text smashed out already!

It’s a mashing of two soulmate AU’s in one, a soul animal x dream walking AU. Basically through some deliberate quirky (heh) interference, Aizawa and Izuku start sharing a dreamscape together. BUT! They don’t know it is the other for they are in the form of their souls, which are the animals that most represent them. Naturally Aizawa is a cat and Izuku a hare, and they can’t understand the other right away either! So lots of fun interactions, with the natural consequence of sharing a dream effecting their waking life mwahahaha!

So here is a short snippet: (Izuku is currently at a fall market with the dekusquad, Aizawa the chaperone. In this scene he is talking to a mysterious vendor)

——————————————————————————————————

Her gaze pierces into his, oddly reminiscent of Recovery Girls own disapproving look when he inevitably winds up in the infirmary. Izuku feels himself flush self consciously, eyes flicking away from her gaze.

“You must have had a hard time of it younger, children can be so cruel” Her hand gently traced the edge of a scar on his palm.

“Remember, it is not bad to be this way. Simply keep your wits about you, and don't let your own habits consume you” She petted his hand reassuringly “Your doubts lead if you allow them to, similarly your wants. It is a balancing act you must hold firm on young man”

Her words seemed to draw Izuku in, something about them resonating within his soul. As if they spoke to a part of him buried where he thought things had died. She leaned back, letting go of his hand.

“But I sense you soon will find someone to help you with that.” Her voice danced knowingly, eyes no longer looking at him but focused over his shoulder.

“Problem Child” A gruff voice huffed.

Izuku almost jumped in his seat, head whipping round to see Aizawa-Sensei staring down at him with exasperation. When the man had gotten there, Izuku could not say. Looking at his expression clued him in though.

“A-Aizawa Sensei! I completely lost track of time! I’m sorry, was everyone waiting long?” Izuku fumbled, shooting up out of his chair and nearly tipping it over, had Aizawa not reached over to steady it reflexively.

“Never mind that, its time to leave. I hope you’re wrapping things up here, hmmm?” The man raised a brow.

“I, uhm- Yes?” Izuku turned to the lady, bowing quickly “Even though I don’t really get it, thank you for your time” he rushed out, thoughts feeling scrambled at the sudden reminder of the hour.

“Thank me by being a better pro than the previous ones, no offence Scruffy” She snorted, shaking her head.

“None taken.” Aizawa-Sensei sighed.

“Hmmm. A smart one then.” She grinned, “Here.” hand reaching over to the stones on display, she plucked two from the pile.

“Give me both of your hands” She huffed, fist held up in their direction.

Izuku glanced at Aizawa who grudgingly held his palm out. In a bid to speed things up, the man nudged the boy to do the same, who rushed to present a palm as well. To which the lady deposited a stone each in them.

“A gift of good luck, we need good hero’s like you sticking around after all.” Was her only explanation, before she turned away in clear dismissal.

Izuku curled his fingers around the rock, slipping the fist into his pocket. Diligently trotting after Aizawa Sensei who had already turned to make his way back to the others. As they pushed through the crowd, Izuku failed to notice the way his right hand seemed to tingle, growing momentarily warm with the stone in hand.

——————————————————————————————————

Wonder what will happen 👀

I might post some of the art I’ve made later, not sure yet since its more of a wip and not complete (story of my life)

You can tell I have a habit of turning characters into animals, I just love the idea of them in a different form :D

[acaciapines]

as someone who’s very excited to read your Dess raises Kris AU, something that i’m really excited for is the dynamic between Dess and Chara! From the little excerpt we saw of them in the past i’m so curious as to how they’re relationship functions / how it’ll effect Kris growing up and such. If it isn’t too much to ask, could you go a bit in depth as to how they ‘work’ in a sense?

jkegkjdfgdf IT MEANS SO MUCH THAT UR EXCITED.....WOW.....like i am too its just so fun to know other people are!!

and! yeah so. i go into them a lot in this post here where i said. a lot of what my ideas are right now (and its said better lol) but i can for sure talk about them forever and ever and ever. most relationship of all time.

under the cut cause Oh My God it was not supposed to be this long.

so!!! i think a lot of how dess and chara work is that as time goes on it becomes increasingly obvious that They Do Not, actually. like, the way i see dess is that she is very much a person who needs to be on the move--she cannot stay in one place. that just...isnt who she is, and its stifling, and she HATES being weighed down. and kids, uh, sorta do that to you lol. vs chara, who like...has defined xirself around this role xe took up, 'cause the huge difference between them is that chara chose to have frisk and dess just sorta ended up with kris, right? so thats one point they arent ever going to like, understand the other one on.

so a lot of what leads them to deciding to stick together is this sense of loneliness they both feel...dess for being someone who is always on the move has also always had people with her: azzy, for one, but i think shes also the sort of people who makes a lot of like, surface-level friendships? i think shes A Lot and most people never get to know her that well, but like...chara DOES. and vice-versa for chara: people never bother to get to know xir, but dess WANTS TO. dess really truly cares about xir and xir life and who xe is which is very new for chara. cause before this all xe's had is frisk who is. literally a two year old and doesnt have any other choice lol.

theyre both people who have been dealt a poor hand in life in regards to dark world bullshit, something they cant exactly get help with through like, traditional means. they meet when theyre both super young--iirc dess is 18, chara 21? 22?--and yknow, raising a kid at that young an age isnt the most common experience. dess has run away from home, basically, and chara's a college dropout with a biological family xe never want to see again...neither of them have anybody else! they dont have any help! so they bond over that, a lot. its like...seeing someone Like You for the first time in your entire life.

and all that said its the kids thing that really throws a wrench into everything.

because dess cant stay still, right? she cant. shes not wired for it. but chara does, and she trusts chara, and chara doesnt mind watching kris, so dess doesnt feel bad leaving them with xir. but. a day becomes a week. week a few weeks, a month, a few months. as time goes on dess coming home grows more and more sparse. but theres this sense of like...chara doesnt really know who xe is, anymore, outside of this family xe has? outside of being a parent and spouse? so to chara, to leave dess is like, unimaginable. dess is xir person. dess loves xir, which is something xe cannot really comprehend as a loveless aromantic, but having never been loved in xir entire life (chara had a Bad childhood lets just say) its like...dess chooses xir. and sure, shes gone a lot, but when she does come home, her home is XIR. her home is chara. its gloriously dizzying.

and dess does feel the same way!!! dess never really means to leave chara for so long, she just...loses track of time. hates being Needed by kids in any way more than a cool aunt they see occasionally. funnily enough she gets on with frisk better because frisk doesnt really expect a mom out of her. (that isnt to say its returned lol kris likes dess wayyyyy more than frisk does. but for dess its easier to be around frisk cause they dont expect anything). if the kids werent a thing chara and dess would actually work a lot better--chara is a lot less adventurous and likes staying back and tending to things, but without frisk to like, REALLY cement that xe'd enjoy going out with dess, probably not into dark worlds but travel might be nice. and dess wouldn't feel so much pressure, if its just chara, 'cause chara kind of just likes dess for who she is. so for just-chara, dess could stay. dess is used to people wanting her to be someone else--her mother, her father, hell, even AZZY, who like...he never acted on it, but he had a crush on her for their entire friendship. she knows he'd rather she return those feelings.

but chara GETS HER. chara cares for her in a way that doesnt want her to become something she isnt--its why they get married!! dess never felt romantic love, and still doesnt, but its chara who makes her go--oh. oh, so i think i know why people might get married, actually. its saying--youre my person, and chara is her person. and vice-versa, of course. dess is this light chara never had.

but. of course. they have two kids.

which. complicates things. dess puts chara first--she LOVES chara, loves xir in every single way she can feel love. but chara...chara cares about dess, a lot. its why xe's really blind to a lot of xir faults for a while...because thats dess. xe doesnt know where xe would be without dess. but chara is a parent. frisk and kris do come first.

the kids are like, aware of this. frisk is very much aware of this--they're younger than kris but they dont have these rose-colored glasses about dess, and they sort of notice, how much of a toll it takes on chara to be a single parent, essentially, still. dess sends money back--she IS sort of the breadwinner lol, turns out selling weird dark world things is sometimes actually a viable career--but she doesnt, like, parent. when she comes home shes a friend. but not a parent.

kris fights with chara a lot. idealizes dess. its that idea that the parent who has to be the PARENT, be the one to say no, be the one to deal with all the crying and meltdowns and just general messiness of raising another human being, is the one that also gets the most flack. dess is never around! which is hard, but it also means she never messes up. at least in kris's eyes, lol.

for frisk and kris dess really is the one thing that like, gets in between all else. its the wound they all keep opening again, because shes never around, and it hurts. whenever she comes back and stays for a week when she said a month the kids know how sad chara gets!! how lonely xe is! but kris writes it off because dess will come back, and frisk grows bitter. its the one thing the two dont talk about because its the one thing that fractures their sibling relationship. every serious fight the two have is in some way about dess.

the entire reason why noelle and kris end up meeting? because kris thinks that if they prove themself as brave like dess, and dive into and close a dark world like she does, she'll stay longer this time. but of course all that does is get them stuck.

dess never does things maliciously. she does, really, truly, care about chara, kris, frisk. but she also just...does things. she never looks before she leaps. she shies away from facing consequences. and thats like...the sort of thing you CANT do, when youve got kids. but she never wanted them. she never meant to take kris.

she's just. in too deep. and chara does NOT hold her accountable which doesnt help. it would be best for the kids if chara got a divorce but. chara cant do that. xe cannot be alone again.

OKAY THAT WAS A LOT. uh. if you (general) wants to know more!! hit me up!!! tho i will say i'll have more to say about other relationships lol, i think i've said most of what i can able dess&chara right now. BUT I AM ALWAYS THINKING ABOUT THIS AU I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS ON HOW IT CHANGES THINGS--

[mabeysomeclasspecting]

I gotta send this in before I overthink it too much lol. Even now in this ask box I’m adding shit.

•What are your interests/hobbies?

I like making genetically accurate family trees for a specific book series. Ngl though, I’ve started it, stopped several books in, restarted it completely, and repeat the cycle. I still have not finished that project. I am interested in psychology too because I’m curious as to the reason/why people do the things they do. I also enjoy listening to music and collecting random tiny objects. If I ever get the chance, I like building things too. Could be anything from legos to model houses/rooms, or an object made from stuff I found in nature or on the ground.

•How do you see yourself?

I’m polite but I usually don’t really care about people most of the time. I’m a bit detached too in that sense, because people close to me will be having problems and I don’t really care too much. I have a short temper, but I actively try to tone down my general emotions, or act like I’m fine if I’m getting upset because I feel like afterwards I didn’t deserve to feel mad lmao—doesn’t always work. When I’m not chilling and I’m in fact very upset, I tend to go for destructive answers. I would say I’m very loyal to my friends though. I’m very detail-oriented and like to do things a certain way, to the point where I’m itching to take the lead from someone because I feel like I could do it right. Sometimes I can get a little bit pushy when I want certain information out of someone. Also, I have awful time management. I know I’ll have a task to do but I’ll actively ignore it to do something else, and then I’m left to do the task 3 hours before it’s due. I’m sensitive, but I don’t like being seen as sensitive. Can you tell that I contemplate myself a lot haha

•How do you think others see you?

I like to keep track of what people describe me as because I’m curious as to how people perceive me. I’ve been described as mellow, diligent, naïve, smart, and extremely quiet verbally and physically. I don’t talk to a lot of people so I’m probably seen as a loner occasionally. I’ve also been called innocent and gullible. While I’ve never heard anyone say it, I’m pretty sure a lot of people think I’m sheltered as hell. A hard worker too maybe. They probably see me as very creative and artistic too. Maybe a bit of a know-it-all, since I have a tendency to correct people without thinking. I just want them to have the right information.

•How do you interact with your friends?

I guess I’m more chill and responsible, I don’t respond much. I give advice when it’s implied or asked for but other than that I’m kinda uninvolved. I’ve been called boring (as a joke) because there’s literally no drama worth talking about going on in my life while my friends have relationship drama every 3 hours. She once straight up told me to just lie about drama happening to me so I would have something to talk about lol. Once I feel I’m allowed to act like it, I can be a little chaotic with friends, and even be a bit of an instigator.

•What’s important to you? (Specific people, ideas, morals, objects, etc.)

It’s important to me that people are fair and honest. Like if two of my friends are fighting and I think one of them is being treated unfairly, idc if they’re both my friends, I will absolutely fight the one being unfair. I like honesty because I admit I’m kinda gullible and I do not like being lied to. I also like keeping whatever trinkets I find, I’m both sentimental and paranoid that I’ll need them in the future for whatever reason. It’s also important that I have headphones or any music player because I listen to music a lot, especially my repeated songs.

•Describe the ideal you, what kind of person do you strive to be?

I don’t really have a type of person I want to be necessarily, I just want to be happy with my choices and my life. I guess I want to be seen as smart and logical, and not sensitive and over-emotional. I don’t want to be held on a pedestal though, I just wanna be seen as some guy and that’s it.

Hi!

Aspects: Time, Space, Mind

Classes: Bard, Page, Prince

Try out Bard of Time and Page of Space first, I think one of those two will feel right.

Hope this helps!

[wickedmoonsoul]

This is something I would prefer to write in my journal, but I left it inside the house and I currently can’t get to it, so I’m just going to write it in here.

Last night me and my gf had this fight, it really sucked. We were talking about how our little chihuahua puppy needs a friend, and foe lol. She’s a handful and wants to fight all the time, so we thought if she had a kitty friend they’d probably play a lot. Unfortunately we live with my parents, and they hate cats. I recalled a time we had a cat here at the house and my parents couldn’t STAND it, it was only there because my ex had brought it, and she was living with us. So I told my gf “yeah, we used to-“ and i fucking froze because i didnt want to talk about the cat knowing it was my ex’s cat, and I knew she would ask me who’s cat it was or how i got it or something and I’d have to bring up my ex, so i just completely avoided it after. After that, she looked really upset and looked down at her phone and got quiet /.\ i asked if she was okay or upset, and at first she kept saying she was fine, but you know how you can feel when that’s not true. Then…wtf, idk for some reason i cant remember what happened next, like i cant remember word for word what was said and i dont want to make something up in replacement, i just know i ended up telling her how i was gonna tell her there was a cat here but it was my ex’s, i thought thats what she was upset about, but then she said no, it was because i said “yeah, we used to-“. She was upset about the “we” part, she thought i was still categorizing my ex with me as a we, like ew i just get ick even writing that. That person abused me mentally, physically, emotionally, and financially. I know everyone says there ex’s are narcissists, sociopaths, all that..but i really fucking lived it. I have been traumatized through that whole experience, and all i felt in that relationship was STUCK. Honestly i can go on, and i was about to but its not even the point, i just cant stress how blessed and happy i feel every day to have escaped that situation, yeah escaped. I had my mom come rescue me across the states..had donations set up to help. When I met my gf i was still in the middle of the divorce, still retraumatizing myself for evidence (yet i never sued because i didnt have the money nor mental capacity..) and she was there for it a little, but even as friends i couldnt talk to her about it, because she never wanted to hear about it, and it would upset her..she had feelings for me fairly quickly so she just didn’t really listen to me about it..for a while i had grown resentful because i was always curious about her past relationships so i know how to better care and love her, understand her wounds. Whenever she brought them up i NEVER complained. For a while she was convinced i still loved my ex, which would frustrate me leading me to confess about my resentment. Down the line of our relationship i eventually got the chance to speak about it, and she had seen videos of the verbal abuse, and physical photos. Im not even sure if she had seen the bruises photos tbh /: im too scared to ask. I know i still need to go to therapy to deal with the trauma i dealt with, that was 3 years of confusing pain. Anyway, she knows all of that and saw it, she even heard this fucked up voicemail of hers. So idk i get caught off guard when she thinks i’d still have something for someone like that, she saw so much of the trauma.

Dude all of this was so long..i got a little off track, its just how my mind works, it goes into depth about so many fucking things. Im just trying to keep it together and understand it all. Anyway..

I meant we as in me and my family here in the house, we had a cat living here at one point. I tried explaining this to her and she started behaving as if she didn’t believe me..i started to panic because a few months ago something like this happened where she believed i had sex with someone, and she fell into this delusion so deeply that she truly believed it, even though this was a close friend of mine who was married and she went through all our messages and her “evidence” was me telling her i love you for giving me makeup ideas to buy my gf a birthday gift and she was into all the new trends and fads so i asked her, i do love all my friends and this friend of mine had helped me so much through my previous relationship and even came out here with her bestfriend to hangout because my dog passed away, she also just happened to be in town because she lives 4 hours away, and was staying in a neighboring city next to our town, so she wanted to cheer me up. This was a genuine friend who NEVER romanticized me or showed any sign of interest besides friendship..i tend to struggle with friendships because they end up falling for me idk, i dint want to sound like im full of myself because i dont even understand why..anyway, I let my gf call my friend because she asked, and my friend spoke about her husband and my gf started screaming at her all these bad words and hungup and she stormed out the house in the middle of an episode, and she disappeared on the 30th of december and i fucking fell apart, she went missing for 5 days , i thought she fucking killed herself cuz her phone went off the next morning at 11am . Her last words to me were “ i hate you dont come looking for me dont contact me leave me tf alone how could you do this to me fuck you” and she sped off in her car . I cried all new years eve. I didnt eat all those days she was gone, i almost lost my job because i abruptly left, i couldn’t work because i worked near ICU cleaning the patients room and seeing all the dying patients triggered so much pain and fear and worry. She was reported missing, we had helicopters looking all over the mountains and her phone remained off all those days. We found her car at a hospital but they told us she had been discharged the next day december 31, and walked off, (they had to lie) it had been 2 days since that day, so where did she walk to . Police finally got info and she was traced to this mental hospital 3 hours away. Her mom called me and warned me to prepare because she was saying hurtful things, and yeah, when she called she was still in the middle of her episode..it was really hard and i cant imagine how she fucking felt. What she was going through to make her burst this way..in november we ran into this guy who assaulted her years ago and is the reason she was put in a dangerous situation and has so much trauma (gang related) which triggered this mental breakdown when we left the scene, and the following month, one of her bestfriends passed away..she had ignored this friend so she carried guilt /: then on Christmas she went through my phone and saw a status i had made days before talking about something i did to my exs chapsticks before i had escaped. I thought it was a funny thing to share but alas, i am an idiot. I know I shouldn’t have made such a stupid post about somebody who doesn’t matter. I realized how wrong i was when i saw how much it upset her..i still feel like a moron about it to this day, i know that was so unacceptable.. and then lead the complete breakdown on the 30th..i was just scared all of this was going to happen again so i kept blabbering things, but it’s like im trying too hard to control things and keep them from getting out of hand from before that i almost sound so fucking phoney…and all this lead me to these thoughts that have been brewing about my childhood trauma, like some deep wounded shit. I am such an emotional person but at the same time, im very detached from my emotions. I detach to better handle situations level headed but then i start panicking and get lost in emotions..

This can honestly go on forever, i swear we experience lifetimes with one another.

Man im tired, im gonna type the rest later..it gets even deeper man idk. Idk if ill ever get to write it. I guess i’ll see.

[racingliners]

F1 Re-Watch 2022: Round 15 - the Netherlands

No I didn’t intend on watching this and Belgium so close back to back but... I just want to rip the plaster off and get it over with.

(Unrelated, this is the first of 8 races left and the Seb retirement sads are starting to come back 😭)

Anyway, I’ve never actually watched the Dutch GP yet so I’m curious to see if Zandvoort the circuit passes the vibe check or not, onwards!

iirc Verstappen wins so please let there have been some kind of good racing in the midfield and some Seb points.

I’m also starting this after 10pm so yeah lots of poor life choices made all round

but I do have chocolate

ah, opening with some windmills, just in case we had no idea where we were racing

all I’ve seen of Zandvoort is the circuit map so I am truly going into this race knowing nothing

Starting grid: Seb P19. fuck.

Lance P10 though!!

MICK P8!!!!!! LEWIS P4!!!!

Let’s not have a race and just call it a day

“Can Ferrari get it right this afternoon?” lol no. In Ferrari we do not trust.

JENSON COMMS MY SKIN IS CLEAR MY CROPS ARE NOURISHED

Sky Sports F1 at 99% is literally Ted and Jenson

right please let there be no lap 1 violence I did not enjoy Spa at all

obligatory “They’re not Max fans they’re McLaren fans” joke

[Start/Lap 1]: okay phew a mostly clean first lap thank goodness, just Lewis and Sainz getting a little too close

[Lap 2]: KEVIN NOOOOO

oh jeez he’s actually back on track damn that was so so close

Seb and Lance both up two places THAT’S MY BOYS

[Lap 3]: Kevin’s car is somehow fine despite smooching the barrier DAMN

oh damn the replay of Lewis’ start

(also OUCH that cut to Angela in the garage hurt today 😭)

[Lap 4]: *Ted klaxon*

Ted and Jenson on comms at the same race, so very blessed

[Lap 5]: “When you want a nice stress free afternoon, Fernando is not the one you want behind you” truer words have never been spoken. Assigned gremlin status by Crofty

[Lap 6]: Lewis still with the rainbow helmet we love to see it

[Lap 7]: Don’t do that, don’t give me hope that Charles can catch Verstappen

[Lap 8]: Lewis is also reallllly catching up to Sainz 👀

[Lap 10]: Alonso passes Gasly from P12

Unrelated but I cannot tell if the weird haze around the track is mist, low cloud, smoke from flares or sand dvhaeuh

[Lap 11]: Seb has somehow ended up in P20 17 secs behind Latifi, I can only assume he pitted :(

He did pit!! Cheers Ted

[Lap 12]: And Alonso passes Yuki for P11

and Seb jumped Dan at the stop 🎉

[Lap 14]: Sainz v Lewis watch: much of the same, Lewis closes with DRS on the straights but isn’t close enough for a pass yet

And Lewis up into P3 as Sainz pits

12.7 sec stop. ouch.

oh not Perez driving over an errant wheel gun, just to rub salt into the wound

[Lap 15]: Seb watch: up into P17 post-stops!!!

oh he was racing with Mick, who did a really nice pass

[Lap 18]: Charles pits. *prays*

2.5. much better.

[Lap 19]: Lewis P1. STOP THE RACE!!!!!

(I am well aware it’s bc Verstappen pitted. I still want them to stop the race)

“What happened at Carlos Sainz’s pitstop?” “A mess” avuehuhu MATTIA

when the clownery lasts for so long you eventually become self aware

I mean I’m still not on board with speaking to TPs mid race, but in this case I’ll allow it bc I cackled

Seb, Zhou, don’t do that

“Hamilton still leads Russell” oh boy that has never felt so good to hear. INJECT IT.

“He’s been passed a lot has Sebastian” the racing gods giveth and the racing gods taketh away 😭

“This is a really good situation for Mercedes” Inject it, write it into the sky, write it on post it notes and pass them out to strangers

(2015-2018 me would be disappointed in me but she fell for Ferrari v Mercedes propaganda so she doesn’t count)

Bono sighting (beloved)

[Lap 26]: lol I got way too excited and forgot my lap count soz

ANYWAY, this race isn’t terrible, not great, I’m a little warmer than whelmed

And honestly, the fact that Zandvoort is only on the calendar bc F1 want to milk Verstappen fans for cash aside, I don’t hate the circuit. There’s not that many opportunities for overtaking, but an onboard lap is nice to watch.

[Lap 28]: oop Verstappen passes Russell for P2

can we pit Lewis please I suffered through 2021 enough

[Lap 29]: Meanwhile the Ferraris are down in 4th and 6th

[Lap 30]: Phew Lewis does pit. For Hards.

[Lap 33]: Genuinely fascinated to see how the Merc 1-stop vs the RBR and Ferrari 2-stop is going to play out

[Lap 35]: Noooo slow stop for Mick 

“We don’t believe we can manage to do Plan C” another race another alphabet lesson from Ferrari 😭

Permanent agony every time I see a Ferrari team radio message tbh

[Lap 36]: as it’s late at night I had to contain my yell at Lewis trying to go round the outside of turn 1. HOLY SHIT.

[Lap 37]: AND HE TAKES P3 INTO TURN 1!!!!

Seb this was not the time to come out of the pits evgesghgh

[Lap 38]: “That was Plan OMG with Checo and Lewis” Ted I utterly adore you. 

[Lap 39]: Oh and Russell passes Perez too 👀

[Lap 41]: “No one’s talked about Ferrari” yes bc they’re not doing anything next question

and Perez pits for hards

Seb under investigation for ignoring blue flags akehgujahg

[Lap 44]: Yuki nooooooo

“Tyres not fitted” Alpha Tauri EXPLAIN YOURSELVES

...and Yuki’s moving again????

He’s going so slowly though

[Lap 46]: Anyway Charles pits, also for Hards

and again Mick vs Seb eagijaeigh

Yuki pits again 😬

“I know we’re near the North Sea but this is fishy” ajvhajevh Ted

ANYWAY cut to Lewis in P2

[Lap 47]: oh for god’s sake Yuki’s still going slow

to VSC or not VSC

yup VSC deployed

[Lap 49]: Verstappen, Lewis and George all pit under VSC

argh I’ve missed hearing Lewis be genuinely happy on team radio so much!!!!

[Lap 50]: VSC clear, let’s go zoom zoom

oh my days Lance P10!!!!!

[Lap 51]: 12 sec gap between Verstappen and Lewis. I am diving head first into the sea of delusion

another Bono sighting, thank you very much TV director. Your basket of pastries is in the post.

[Lap 53]: Death, taxes and Seb getting a 5 second penalty for something 

oh man those replays of Lando v Alonso, sick

[Lap 55]: Me, knowing full well Verstappen wins: Yeah Lewis can totally close an 11 second gap in less than 20 laps

OH JEEZ Bottas stops right at the end of the main straight

“At least the only overtaking place is gone now” eaovhaeouh Jenson the man that you are

[Lap 56] Full safety car, as it should be

mean this race has been way more eventful than I though

[Lap 57]: Merc 1-2. I have become the sea of delusion.

or we could just stop the race that would be fine too.

[Lap 58]: The way my blood pressure just spiked upon seeing George in the pits, with the Safety car coming through the pits. Lewis still leading though.

oh grief so much pit drama, unsafe release from Sainz

Anyway Lewis P1, Verstappen P2, George P3. Stress.

I know exactly who wins. And yet I still think Lewis has a chance. I am boo boo the fool.

[Lap 60]: Safety Car ending. *distressed yelling*

I hate Safety Car restarts so much

[Lap 61]: ....

well that was fun while it lasted. Please tell me Lewis at least is on the podium

[Lap 62]: Seb watch: Into P14!!! but he still has the 5 sec pen

Okay I looked up the podium to avoid disappointment and I’m quite glad I decided to do that.

[Lap 64]: Lewis, George, can we not nearly crash out please and thanks

[Lap 65]: I am distressed Angela and distressed Angela is me

[Lap 66]: ...and Charles passes Lewis for P3. ouch.

[Lap 68]: 5 laps left. Much is happening.

Lance clinging onto P10 for dear life, Perez and Sainz thinking about starting a punch up, Lewis is pissed, Seb is still following Mick.

“Lance Stroll is lapping faster than Carlos Sainz” INJECT IT!!!

You drag that tractor Lance, go on!!!!

[Lap 70]: and there’s the Perez & Sainz violence

*insults you in Spanish* *insults you back in Spanish* *pushes you off the track*

well at least Lewis’ P4 is safe, this friends is why we don’t get too high on hopium 

[Lap 72/Finish]: Verstappen wins, Russell P2, Charles P3

Lewis does indeed take P4.

LANCE P10!!!!

Seb P14 after his pen

Whew. Yeah. That was something. For some reason I fully expected the race to be dull but it actually wasn’t that bad. Yes It was a strategy race, but there was a tiny bit of racing, and both safety cars did act as a reset for the battle for the lead. And totally unrelated, but Jenson on comms was utterly superb.

7 front wings out of 10, next race: Monza!!

[lets-talk-spirituality]

Hey Mod, I hope life is treating you beautifully so far! I was wondering if you would be able to provide some insight on my soul purpose in the life? I’m curious because I feel like it’s something I’m not too sure about. Do you think you’d be able to provide some clues for me? Thank you for your time!

P.S. on an unrelated note, I saw that post where you talked about the Truman Show and how it’s almost like we’re in a reality tv show and I thought that was soo funny. Sometimes I think of my life as a book/novel and when something happens I’m like “is this foreshadowing what’s gonna happen in the future?” Or I’d see something random and be like “is this supposed to symbolize something else in my life?” I thought I was the only one who saw life like that but it’s interesting to see that I’m not! Lol sorry for the tangent but it’s something I thought was interesting and wanted to share!

I’m glad you understand what I mean about the reality TV thing! I do the same thing. I’m like ohhhh I see why that thing happened in last week, it was leading to a plot line, or when something ridiculous happens I can like mentally hear the laugh track, I just go with it though. I wrote this last night: “Why not live like you’re in a movie and make cute little moments? Yolo.”

Let’s see what comes up!

Soul purpose, I’m seeing pink flowers, 🌸 I’m feeling that your soul purpose is to bloom, to find enjoyment, to follow the things that make your life beautiful, because that will allow you to live in a state of peace that the planet needs, I see like a garden, gardening center, maybe a florist? Something about flowers, oooo maybe a botanical garden? Maybe you need to go be around flowers to center yourself and gain insight, maybe buy yourself flowers, maybe even just making your home smell like flowers or planting a beautiful garden at your house, if you do, you may want to put up a small fairy house and a bird house, make your yard inviting to other animals and insects so it thrives, I’m seeing that will bring a lot of beauty to you, and spring isn’t too far away, maybe there is a skill related to flowers you can learn, maybe painting or arranging, I just see a lot of flowers anon, maybe even flowery language, I know you’re asking about career but it just keeps coming through you need to follow things based on what makes your life beautiful.

Card Pull

The seven star sisters—“birthing creations, tapestry of life, expression”

I’m immediately hearing, weave your tapestry of life with gold. Like I said, you’re here to create your life by following your feelings, what feels good

Pages 100, 101– 1 and 2/11– (maybe 2/11 is a date?) but new beginning to building something lasting with 11, representing mirroring, what you do with your joy and working on that will shift your external world. So many of us focus on the external world to make the internal world secure, instead, focus on your internal world— mental health, making sure your energy feels good— and that will reflect in the outer world.

Guidebook—“ there are new creations that want to be born, what wants to be birthed through you? Creativity and intuition come from the same place. Surrender to the creative projects that scare you. Where there’s creativity, spirit and soul are present.”

The great severing— “mars energy, anger, conflict, softening to love”

Pages 72/73– 9 and 1, ending of a cycle and beginning of a new cycle!

Guidebook—“if this card surfaces, acknowledge difficult emotions, situations, conflicts, wounds and fears that are causing you pain and anxiety, find your way back to love.”

Creative frustrations? I’m hearing look into your mars astrological placement, it’s interactions in your natal chart and the transits this year! I think there’s something there, mars also rules action so I’m thinking this is again about taking action. I think maybe you were rejected or some project didn’t go to plan and you’re afraid to try again or you forgot how much you loved creating, find your way back to love!

Hope this helps, nonniekins! Let me know if it resonates. I’d love to know what this creative pursuit is.

[firegiftlouis]

The Groan showing up when Daniel mentions Marius, yeah I think the Groan and Armand are connected in some way like that meta said.

Lol Daniel immediately implying that he thinks Rashid and Louis are fucking, kinda begs the question what has he seen at this point to lead him to that conclusion 😂 like is it journalistic instincts? Gay dar? What?

Louis calling that single tear earlier an “outburst” you’re so unwell 💕

Although it does remind me that Louis was way more…impassioned last episode, more intense. Like when he’s describing wanting to slit Lestat’s throat or describing his turning. Now for a lot of this episode he’s almost weirdly detached, it’s like what someone said a while back, that he had Armand relobotomize him lol.

(TW for disordered eating just in case)

Since this is the dinner episode I’m tracking what Louis eats since we all know this man has a “complicated” relationship with food to say the least.

I forgot to mention this last week but even as a human we barely see him take a bite of food or anything, the most we see him do is drink alcohol but unless I’m mistaken I can’t think of a single moment he took a bite of something on screen. Which is interesting to note since his excuse for supposedly leaving the opera early was because he was hungry and went to get some dinner. Hmmm…..

Just looked up how much Blood a blood bag can carry and it’s somewhere between 250ml to 350ml (for the metrically challenged peeps like me that’s about 0.52 to 0.74 pints). So, so far Louis has had less than a pint of human blood tonight.

I’m also curious about when this episode takes place, it’s definitely session two but it’s hard to tell if this is the same day or the next day? Daniel doesn’t bother giving a date or time this time which seems to imply it’s the same day, since evening had just fallen by the end of the first ep.

So I think I’m gonna go with it still being the same day as episode one just the night time, Louis and Daniel took a break after Louis’ “outburst” and showered and got dressed for their lil dinner date (I mean look at all these candles? Romantic much?). Also Daniel asking for the music to be turned down never fails to take me out. This show is a comedy 💕

Louis choking and retching was literally me earlier when I tried taking a mucinex pill and nearly choked on it lol not to overstate but I’m going through it today 🙃

I feel like I said this a while ago but I like to think Louis seeing all those weird colors and lights was the point in his transformation where his brain (thinking it’s dying) started releasing those chemicals that are apparently really hallucinogenic when a person is dying, and that’s why he’s basically “high” during this night.

“You were fucking loaded” indeed Danny lol.

I don’t care what you say Lestat let Louis get some sailor dick!! You’d be avoiding so many problems if you had 😤

Ok but seriously tho, Claudia’s first kill got to be a cop (a fantasy plenty of Black people both then and now have lol) and she took to killing like a natural! Making Louis’ first kill some boring father of some kid somewhere that probably didn’t even taste good enough for the wait to be worth it (and overshadow the guilt) is at least some of why Louis hates killing, I’m convinced.

If he fucked and ate the sailor he would see that vampirism can be fun, sexy, and tasty, also he gotta learn how to lure away his prey at some point right? And there’s no way you couldn’t have made everyone forget where he was or something lol.

“Louis you’re scaring the hoe” I don’t know Lestat, that look you giving Louis is way scarier thank Louis’ little meow meow 🥺 look 😂.

“Just to be clear here gents, we are here to talk about farm equipment.” Lol sure man.

“I knew it I knew you-” lmaoooo you knew what sir? I seriously doubt you were thinking vampires, or even serial killers.

It’s giving “girl what we’re YOU doing at the devil’s sacrament gay vampire house 👀”

Ok starting the second episode today I’m fucking tired and have no idea if I can get through the third today as well but we’ll see 😭

[moonlit-imagines]

Human Conflict

Druig x reader

warnings: angst that makes you forget the fluff from this entire fic

a/n: dont think i think either of the angsty positions are necessarily right or wrong lol.

prompt:

In all the years that Druig had looked over this village, he’d never taken an individual liking to anyone, let alone a lover. The people of this village made that well known once you’d arrived, the outsider, the curious traveler.

He welcomed you to stay, to which you gracefully accepted and began a new life, just as you had always wanted. That was the point of traveling the world, to find a new place to call home. You just never imagined your new home would be a village in the Amazon run by a man rumored to be a god.

Soon you became apart of their everyday life, learning the ins and outs of daily life as Druig watched you work from afar, where you occasionally caught him watching you. He was never ashamed to get caught either.

“He’s looking at you again.” One of your new neighbors pointed to the mysterious Eternal and you paused your task to turn around, seeing the man leaning against the door of his quarters with that unforgettable smirk. He gave you a cool, calm wave and you tried to hide your smile as you returned his gesture and got back to business. “In all my years here, I’ve never seen him look at someone the way he looks at you. He has feelings for you, I’m sure of it.”

“No, no,” you chuckled the suggestion off, “he’s just cautious of me because I’m new. I presume you don’t get many new faces here?” You lugged a pile of firewood from its resting spot and began moving away while the confidant followed.

“You don’t give yourself enough credit, my dear.” They kindly looked to you and even raised their hand to your cheek, almost making you freeze. “You are very attractive, Druig has noticed. Not to mention, you kindly have accepted our ways without question. It shows a lot about your personality.” You furrowed your eyebrows.

“How do you mean?” You questioned and your neighbor raised their brows as if you already knew.

“Dear, you are resilient, strong, thoughtful, honorable. You’ve adapted so well to your new home. We have all noticed, and we love you like one of our own,” they explained while grabbing your dirty hands and pulling you a bit closer for a more serious talk, “but our eyes have only observed a singular lifetime to compare you to. His have seen a lifetime for each member of this village, maybe more.”

“You’re saying that he has a different view of humanity?” You tried to make sense of their words and they nodded once with closed eyes.

“And his view of humanity has never once led him to these feelings for another human. Never.” You felt confused by what they were saying to you, and you had absolutely no way of being able to tell if it were true. But while you were left to your thoughts on the matter, Druig had emerged from his quarters once more with a mug, taking tea out to you.

“Y/N,” he greeted, handing the hot drink over to you, “for you.” Some of the villagers paused their work to observe, which made him contemplate using his powers to keep them on track, but he decided against it for now.

“Oh, thank you, sir.” You accepted the cup and blew on the surface slightly, peering up at him to see his admiring smile.

“Here, come with me.” Druig decided to stop distracting the village, placing his hand on the middle of your upper back and leading you back to his quarters. You could only imagined the chatter that ensued after you were no longer in earshot. The Eternal opened the door for you, welcoming you inside. “Please, take a seat. How are you liking it here?”

“I love it here, actually.” You sat down and beamed an innocent smile. “I never knew how lucky I would get on my adventure, that’s for sure.” You took a sip of your tea and got distracted with the suggestions of that villager.

“I’m glad to hear that.” Druig told while leaning forward in his chair, there was a long pause. “You know, I am about seven thousand years old?” You cocked an eyebrow at his claim and he laughed. “It’s true, maybe a bit jarring. I don’t look it.”

“No, sir, you don’t.” You shook your head and sat your drink down, leaning your cheek on your newly free hand.

“‘Sir,’ huh? How sweet of you.” He teased and you fought the urge to curl up in a ball out of slight embarrassment, and he noticed that quickly. “Don’t worry, I like it,” he winked, “but ‘Druig’ is just fine.”

“Got it.” You looked at the ground for a moment and he reached out to your chin, lifting it with a single finger.

“You aren’t like the other humans I’ve met, y/n. There’s something different about you, something special.” Druig’s cool, unbothered mannerism took you off guard, especially with his touch and gaze making you quite flustered. It seemed your confidant may have been right.

“I don’t know what you mean.” You tried to match his demeanor and he quite liked that.

“You don’t give yourself enough credit, darling.” He stood from his seat and walked away from you, still speaking. “I came here many years ago instructed not to intervene in human conflict, but it killed me watching them kill each other. That was when I parted from my family, when I started caring for this village.”

“That’s a very noble idea, sir.” You watched as he peered back at you slickly with amusement on his face. “But why were they against your help?”

“I was told that without their conflict, humans might not be able to evolve. We were only sent here to protect against certain creatures, creatures that didn’t necessarily belong here.” He paced the room with both arms behind his back, noticing you contently listening to his tale. “Like my story so far?”

“It’s like no other I’ve ever heard.” You responded and he walked by, caressing your cheek before continuing.

“Well, I’m glad. This village was starting to get bored of my life story.” Druig joked and decided to pull a seat next to you. “You see, y/n, I have certain powers that could have saved many lives over the years simply by halting the conflict. I could control them all if I wanted to, but some people think it’s in bad taste.” You nodded along to his words and gave it a thought.

“I see what they mean, I suppose it’s a matter of circumstance.” You looked over at him to see an expression of interest in what you had to say. “I think that your idea of using it to stop unnecessary conflict between humans, that’s reasonable. You wanted to save lives, I see nothing wrong with that other than the fact that they may not have learned anything for themselves. It is unfortunate how many people had to die violent deaths. Both innocent and guilty. I’m sure that was hard to see.” You felt his hand rest itself on top of yours and you glanced over at Druig, noticing a warm smile as his feelings for you deepened. “When it comes to personal goals, personal gain, or complete manipulation, that would be another story.”

“And that was the whole point, I just wanted these humans to be safe. You’re right, I hated seeing them suffer.” He just loved everything that had come out of your mouth so far. “Y/N, you are incredible. Not only are you this—this mysterious outsider, the first in too long, but you’re one who has done nothing but surprise us…surprise me.”

“The villagers seem to think you’ve been harboring some feelings for me in these past few weeks.” You decided to make some kind of advance and watched Druig lick his lips and look to the doors as if staring at his people.

“They know me well, I’ll admit that much.” He stood from his seat, but only to move in front of you and kneel down and grab the both of your hands. “I will add that you’ve made me feel things that I wasn’t aware I could feel anymore. I’d like to get to know you better,” Druig’s eyes were ones you could get lost in, the blue distracted you like each lake and river you’d come across in your journeys, but you stayed grounded as he finished, “know you better than anyone else.”

“That so?” You watched as he pulled your hands towards him and kissed the back of your hand.

“So it is.” He stood up from his stance near the floor and led you from your seat, as well. “And I’ll be willing to do whatever it is you’d like in regards to a ‘date.’ Might I suggest dinner tonight?” Druig had already planned such a night, the food and setting was already picked out, he just hoped you’d agree.

“I’d definitely have to clean up first,” you ran your hands across your clothes, the slightly disheveled appearance after half a day’s hard work, “but I’d love to have dinner with you.”

“Well, consider your work for today done. Just worry about getting clean, comfortable, winding down.” He assured you and walked you out of his quarters.

“I feel bad for abandoning my duties for the day.” You voiced and your suitor wrapped his arm around your shoulders, smiling at your goodwill.

“I’m sure of it, but you don’t have to worry about a thing.” He led you back to your less private quarters, but it was nothing you’d complain about. You loved the place they provided for you, despite how different it was from your “normal,” but normal was in no way a good thing, nor was it ever a correct statement. It was a case of relativity. And most people wouldn’t find it “normal” for a human to date an immortal man of seven thousand years.

“Thank you, Druig. I look forward to seeing you tonight.” You kissed him on the cheek and rushed inside, hiding from the stares of the village while they watched his smile grow and refrained from teasing.

—————

Time passed you by like nothing after Druig and you had started your relationship. He was a truly wonderful partner, a man who had finally been able to share his love with another, and he gave it his all. There was never a dull moment with him, Druig made sure of it, but you assured him that even some things that seemed dull weren’t that way with the right person, resulting in several lazy days, many of which were spent laying in bed together, close cuddles, old stories, talks of the future.

“I think I’m running out of stories to tell.” You giggled while nuzzling your face into the crook of Druig’s neck. Your fingers traced his bare chest and he craned his neck to kiss the top of your head.

“I’m sure you have plenty left to say.” Your lover spoke into your hair.

“Says the man who’s lived seven millennia.” You poked his dimple and he raised his brows.

“Calling me old, are you?” He quickly crawled atop you and gently held you down while you stifled your laughter. “Aw, don’t do that, I love your laugh.”

“You’re so dreamy.” You softly replied and bat your eyes before he leaned down to kiss you, dipping into passion just a bit. Your pinned wrists were slowly released for you to run your hands up his forearms and biceps, but you felt distracted. Even in this time of sweetness and bliss, and he could tell as your kisses became careless.

“Y/N?” Druig pulled away from you and looked back into your worried eyes, leaning off of you and onto his side. “Hey, talk to me, please. You know you can tell my anything, my love.” He propped his head up with one arm and a balled fist, but took your hand in his other, rubbing his thumb against the very place he first kissed you.

“You’re going to live forever, darling. What about me?” You asked the question neither of you ever wanted to face, making your partner gulp at the thought of losing you one day. To him, time was fleeting. Your life would end one day, and your lifetime would feel like a year to him.

“I don’t really want to think about it.” He gripped your hand a tad tighter and saw tears welling in your eyes. “I hate thinking about it.”

“So you have thought about it?” You turned your head to him and the sight of your sorrow nearly brought tears to his own eyes. He leaned to your forehead for a kiss.

“Of course I have, but nothing good ever comes from those thoughts.” He wanted to be careful here because he knew the sort of forks in the road of thought one might be led to, especially a mortal.

“In all your years, I’ve been the only person you’ve been with? I know you mentioned others, but—” He cut off your thought before you could get any deeper into this.

“I promise you, you’re the only one. And I am so glad our paths crossed, y/n, you know that.” Druig explained as you readjusted to lean on your side and gaze into those eyes once more.

“But when I inevitably die, what’s going to happen? Are you going to just accept death and move on from me?” You inquired, biting your lip before continuing, but it looked like he pitied you now more than ever. “I imagine you’ve gotten used to loss, it must be easy for you.” You closed your eyes and your tears crossed your face, causing Druig to completely scoop you into his arms and hug you tight, resting his hand on the back of your head while he tried to find the right words.

“Yes, it’s much easier for me to accept loss, but I can’t say it doesn’t hurt.” He mumbled as you focused on his breathing. “But I’ve never lost someone I’m in love with and so far, I can’t even imagine it.”

“But after I’m gone, would you fall in love with someone new?” You lifted your damp face from his chest and looked up to him with your puffy eyes and a heartbreaking frown.

“I can’t know for sure.” He answered and although it was honest, it was not what you wanted to hear. You held your breath a moment and he knew he said the wrong thing. “I just mean that I never thought I’d fall in love at all, but life is full of surprises, y/n. We met by chance, but every day I wake up next to you and I feel so lucky that I got to meet you, to love you.” He tried to hold you again, but you had rolled over, facing your back to him. “Y/N? Please don’t do that.”

“I knew that this would happen one day. I shouldn’t have said anything.” You wiped your tears with your arm and stood from the bed, gathering your clothes and getting dressed as Druig rushed off his side to you.

“Hey, hey, don’t say that.” He smiled at you in that way you always loved, like he had no worries in the world. His hands rested on your shoulders. “What I said was true, but it’s also hypothetical and years in the future. Right now I just want to spend my time with you. All the time I can.” He tried to make up for it, but you just weren’t ready for this conversation now.

“I’m gonna leave for a while.” You told him without a clear meaning of what that meant, pushing past him and walking towards the door. In a moment of weakness, Druig used his powers on you for the first time, halting your from grabbing the handle and having you walk back to him before he realized his mistake. Once you’d been released, the haze lifted, you took a look around at the room you’d never left. “What..? You—” You shook your head and stared at him bug-eyed.

“Y/N, I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry. I thought you meant something else, please forgive me for that.” He tried to take your hand, but you backed from his reach.

“You promised me you’d never use your power on me, Druig.” Your breath became a bit shaky and guilt flooded your lover’s being.

“I swear to you, it will never happen again.” He placed his hand over his heart and you balled your fists.

“You promised!” You shouted, maybe enough for the neighbors to hear, but you had just been shocked by his actions to the point where you’d surpassed all levels of anger.

“I know, I know.” Druig hung his head in shame. “A moment of weakness, that was all, but I’ll let you leave. I know you need your time.” He walked past you to his pantry and took out a piece of fruit for you. “Don’t forget to eat today, and please, please come back to me. I’m not ready to let you go today or at the end of your life. Believe me.” You took his offering and looked down at the floor before leaving his quarters and awkwardly encountering the stares of your neighbors as they heard your conflict and whispered. Meanwhile, Druig had grabbed his own snack from the pantry to eat as he brainstormed ways to make up for breaking that trust. “What were you thinking, Druig?”

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[nextinline-if]

Another what if coming ur way dear author, which also doubles as a prompt for Lady Margaret, let’s say that for a day, she could read reserved MC’s thoughts and she hears them say, “How is it that you are able to break down my walls? You hold my heart, and I’m not sure if you know it. If you don’t it’s my fault for not showing you enough, how much you mean to me. I could never bear the thought of losing you.” And if it’s not too much, either Lady Anna, James, or the queen, u pick who, also witnessed the exchange, what do they think? (yes, as of that moment they heard mc’s thoughts too, mc be having a field day lol) Also, I hope u accept these chocolates as a thank you for the trouble 🍫🍫🍫, ur writing be dragging me out of my reading slump 💖💖

Also, I hope u accept these chocolates as a thank you for the trouble 🍫🍫🍫, ur writing be dragging me out of my reading slump 💖💖

your compliment claiming that I'm dragging you out of a reading slump was payment enough (where are these onions???) but I do accept chocolates <3 I'm going to assume they're English chocolates cause those are superior :D

Anyway your "DEFINITELY a hypothetical" prompt response is below the cut anon lol

Margaret in Red, MC in Purple, Queen in Black

Margaret is walking through the garden trying to clear her mind - of you. For she finds that too often you are the subject of her thoughts. And while her heart has warmed to the idea, her mind is unsure. She can never tell what you think of her, what you want from her, or whether you want her. She lets out a sigh, deep in her thoughts. This is unlike her - but falling for you was unlike her, too.

She glances up as she turns a corner and comes to an abrupt stop, quickly ducking back around the corner when her eyes land on your back. Her mouth parts slightly, startled by your presence.

She watches you for a moment. And your mother watches her, both amused and curious.

How is it that you are able to break down my walls? You hold my heart, and I’m not sure if you know it.

Her brow furrows. Those aren't my thoughts, she thinks. She looks at you in surprise. Could it be? No, if they are MC's thoughts, I shouldn't be privy to them.

The Queen smiles to herself. Oh, but you know you'd like to hear the rest, dear.

She turns to leave but stops in her tracks at your next thought. If you don’t it’s my fault for not showing you enough, how much you mean to me. I could never bear the thought of losing you, Margaret.

Her eyes widen as she turns her head, eyes on your frame. You're looking at the sky, lost in thought. Margaret moves so her back is against the wall and she stares at you longingly, a small smile on her face. Don't worry darling, nothing could keep me from you.

Vivian smiles to herself, bitterly. Percival, how do I help these two? You always knew what our child needed... but no - I'll handle this, somehow. I'll lead these two blind lovers to a place where their hearts can finally intertwine, as they were always meant to.

[hamburgerhelpersotherhand]

First of all I loved obsessive/no humanity Stefan second of all how do you think you would react when his humanity is turned back on? cause obviously he'd feel guilty but does he still feel the attraction he felt before? Would he help them turn back to the way they were or would he just say sorry and leave? What would the others think? I'm curious as to what you think about this also sorry if this is too much questions

No need to apologize! I barely ever get real questions in my inbox so I’m always a little more motivated to answer them when they come around.

But getting right into it — If the story takes a route where he has a distant romantic interest in you before the switch, he’d feel incredibly awful when things settle back down and he regains that humanity. Maybe even more so if he tortures himself by taking in how you’ve changed from this experience. I wouldn’t say he’d go as far as to leave without a word — as that would lead to no plot, but becoming even more distant feels like a natural progression for his character.

But, let’s take a few steps back and imagine the story differently: What if, instead of unrequited distant love, you two have been involved together for some time… then the switch being flipped around comes with more weight and there’s a possibility he’d try to do something to fix what he’s done — though, really, that’s not entirely his style. Stefan is often very gloomy, from what I remember, and he seems like the type to believe destroying something is easier than patching it up. In that case, you may have to fight for him before things get better.

In regards to what the others think, I’d imagine Damon expected it and doesn’t have much to say on the matter... besides, he’s no better. I also believe that Lexi (if alive, lol) would have something to say (nothing good, of course, but always with the intention of getting him back on track to a healthier and happier lifestyle). All the girls would probably take your side, like Caroline, Elena, and definitely Bonnie.

Buuuuut, if we play around with the timeline and Stefan is still best buds with Klaus, I think his reaction is pretty similar to what you see on screen. Amused.