#i’m skeptical until the very end tho

[bastardblvd]

THEY HIT THE PENTAGON

IT REALLY IS HAPPENING I FEAR

[alovesongtheywrote]

nightmare academia puts me through the ringer EVERY TIME and i love it

♥ Summary: in a few chapters, it's gonna get worse!! for now tho... In this chapter of Nightmare Academia, case stuff ensues and you prepare for heartbreak. [Prof!Spencer Reid x GN-Prof!Reader]

♥ Warnings: cops. cops being terrible, cops exploiting the system, and cops shaming a woman for being a sex worker. also, violence, implied violence, and past violence.

♥ A/N: holy shit, this chapter is Very Long

♥ Word Count: 4885

Series Masterlist

♥♥♥

In the weeks that followed, Spencer brought the BAU to you.  Of course, not everyone could make it.  Kate Callahan was off raising her children.  Penelope Garcia was the target of several  hitmen (whereas Frank was probably the target of a single hitman.  Massive difference.  Trust me.)  And Derek Morgan remained at Quantico with Garcia- so you really weren’t sure what to expect.  The agents you had the strongest feelings about were out of commission.  The last time you’d met his team it did not uh, how would you put it?  End well?  So you were- justifiably- a touch guarded.

That changed. Eventually.

It started with Adam.  

At that point in the investigation, local law enforcement had only shown your friend cruelty, distrust, and skepticism.  Honestly?  You were about to start biting people about it.  (Yeah, maybe it would have gotten you arrested, but at that point, you did not care.  At the very least, biting would make you feel productive.)  You were well and truly prepared for Spencer’s law enforcement team to behave in a similar manner to the local cops- and to be honest, you probably should have been.  Most Feds would carry that same suspicion and distrust, and if they didn’t they were probably faking it to try and get a confession.  

The BAU, however, are not most Feds.  For several reasons.  Either way, you were well and truly prepared to maul the next person who treated your friend like garbage, fed or otherwise.  There was never a need.

The BAU showed Adam basic decency.  They didn’t talk down to him or dismiss him as a demeaning stereotype- and yes, that was the barest of bare minimum, but it was still something.  While they regarded him with mild suspicion for the first like, two minutes, it only took the team that same two minutes to come to the conclusion that Adam was innocent.  After that, the BAU was just as dedicated to clearing Adam’s name as you were.

“Adam had an incredibly emotional response when we mentioned Frank,” Hotchner explained to the local detectives, “He’s genuinely devastated by what happened.  He couldn’t have done this.  Even if he did attack Frank, it wouldn’t have been a clinical hit.”

“Emotions tend to make things messy- we would have seen something much more personal, with more violence and more remorse,” Rossi added.

The detectives did not listen.  The detectives did not care.  

“I’d say a gunshot wound is pretty messy,” one laughed.

“Yeah,” another jumped in, “Try telling the vic’ that things aren’t messy.”

You bit your tongue to keep from screaming, but you didn’t stay entirely silent.  If the detectives weren’t going to give a shit on their own, then you were going to make them.

“Have you actually?” you asked, crossing your arms, “Have you spoken to the victim?”

“Eh, someone else got around to it,” the first detective asked, looking at his partner with the special kind of uncertainty that came with getting called out.

“Did you read the report, then?”

“Well, I’m on the case, aren’t I?”

“Answer the question, detective.”

In the telling silence that followed, Rossi had to turn away to hide his (failed) attempt to suppress a grin.  Hotchner looked proud, despite not knowing you very well.  Spencer looked like he might grab you by the waist and kiss you until you were out of breath.  He didn’t, though, for lots of reasons- his boss was there, he hadn’t asked you if you’d like to be kissed, there was more serious stuff to focus on, and like… you already looked fucking pissed.

The detectives just looked embarrassed.  

“I- uh.  I’ve skimmed it,” the first detective stuttered out.

“Yeah, cool, not good enough,” you nabbed the case file from a nearby desk and pressed it into the officer’s hands, “Consider reading the report.  You’ll find that the victim disagrees with you.”

Both detectives stared at the file as if they were seeing it for the first time- as if they were seeing a file for the first time.  You sighed.

“Detective, if I may ask, how much overtime have you put in on this case?”  the man in front of you blanched at your question.  You would’ve laughed if you weren’t so fucking angry, “Cool.  I thought so.”

“Ough,” Rossi winced with faux sympathy, “Overtime?  And you haven’t even read the case file?”

“Hey, we’ve been very busy these last few weeks!”

The second officer nodded, “Just last week, we had five break-ins in the downtown area.”

“Alright, I’ll accept that,” you turned to leave before doubling back, “But before I go, I need to ask- do you care about the wellbeing of the break-in vics the way you care about this case?  Do you care about all victims so dearly?  Or do you treasure their testimony the way you “treasure” the testimony in this case?”

“What?  What are you saying, what do you-”

“I’m gonna go out on a limb and assume it’s the latter.”  

“What?  Okay, what the hell do you know about police work-!”

“They’re an expert criminologist,” Spencer said, seething slightly.

“Dr. Reid is right.  I know a thing or two about crime- and if I’m just gonna put it this way.  I’ve seen the data.  I’ve heard testimony from victims and offenders.  I know the local and nationwide statistics for unreported crimes.  You’re concerned about the victim hearing that his case isn’t messy?  Look me in the eye and tell me that you’ve never told a victim that their situation- their serious situation- was a waste of police time.”

The officers couldn’t look at your face, much less your eyes.  You had done what you needed to do.

“You wanna solve crimes?  You wanna be the hero?  Then take a goddamned ethics class, read your fucking case files, care for your community, and do your fucking job.”

The detectives tried in vain to defend themselves.  They were unsuccessful- especially in the face of the three FBI agents that immediately backed you up.

“Dr. (L/N) is right.  The number of unreported crimes will astound you,” Rossi said, smirking like the little shit that we all know he is.

“This is especially prevalent with sexual assault cases, theft and scams, and other crimes where the victim may feel a sense of embarrassment- or crimes where the victim feels like their case won’t be taken seriously,” Spencer added in a very Spencer-like way.

“And everything you need to know about this crime is in the file.  If you’d read it, you’d know that the victim is very insistent that your guy didn’t do it, and one could say that, oh, I don’t know, he’s a strong eyewitness.  He is the victim and all,” Rossi continued, getting their asses.

They struggled to respond, “Well- I-  We-”

“And even if you discount the eyewitness testimony, there’s still the matter of alibis and ballistics.  Security cameras have placed Adam away from the community center at the time of the shooting.  The ballistics aren’t a match to any weapon that Adam has ever come into contact with.  Even if they were a match, he hasn’t handled a weapon since his release from prison as a condition of his parole.  But if you had checked the file, you’d know that,” Hotch added, also smirking like a little shit, but with a slight edge to it- that edge, kids, is called “pissed off authority figure.”

“Hey, it-”

“It just sounds like poor police work to me,” Spencer had the biggest smirk of all- the smirk of a little shit who’s proud of his team and of his hot co-professor, “Had you actually done any of your research, you would realize that the suspect you have in custody is being held on police bias and circumstantial evidence.  Any good lawyer can get this case thrown out, and then where will you be?”

His smirk turned to a full grin when you shot him a small smile of your own.

The detectives continued to sputter out responses.  For once, the second one spoke, “Now, we may not be fancy FBI agents, but this precinct has a solid track record of convictions-”

“Were those convictions based on circumstance and bias?” Neither detective answered Spencer’s question.  He continued, “Even if this precinct had a perfect track record, that wouldn’t make it invulnerable to mistakes- and even if it did, you would still have the responsibility of approaching each case like professionals to ensure the wellbeing of victims, suspects, and families.”

“I couldn’t have said it better myself,” you slid forward, putting a hand on Spencer’s arm, “Now if you’ll excuse us, we’re going to go speak with the victim.  His name is Frank, by the way.”

And just like that, you pulled Dr. Spencer Reid away- and he did not resist in the slightest.  In fact, he held the door open for you as you exited the precinct.  Rossi was pretty sure he saw the kid get behind the wheel.

As the detectives scurried away with their tails between their legs, the older agent let out a long whistle.

“Well, I think it’s safe to say that our young Dr. Reid is officially smitten.”

“He was smitten the last time we were here,” Hotch said, pulling another copy of the case file from seemingly nowhere- one of his many unit chief powers.

“Yeah, yeah, but this time it’s bad.  Garcia’s gonna be mad that she didn’t get to see it.”

Hotch nodded, solemnly.

“Y’know, I think the three of them combined could probably take down the whole FBI.”

“You’re right,” Hotch snapped the file closed with a tiny little proud-dad-type smile, “We’re awfully lucky that they’re focused on something else at the moment.”

-

Missy got your guard to drop further.

Initially, she was hesitant to have the Feds drop in on Frank’s case- you both were.  You were used to local law enforcement treating her like shit.  You didn’t stand for it- every time a cop or lawyer so much as dared to look at her wrong, you bared your teeth like a damn dog and threatened to bite where it would hurt.  Y’know.  Lawsuits.  Missy wasn’t exactly a pushover, either.  She was one of the strongest people you knew, and you were well aware that she could hold her own.  If Missy wanted to be scary, she could be fucking terrifying.

Still, it was a little exhausting to fight all these battles against people in positions of authority who were so convinced that their series of events was correct, and anyone who went against it was nothing more than a lying ex-con.  Having the BAU in your pockets certainly helped with that.

“I already told you what happened.  I’ll tell you a thousand more times if I have to, but the story isn’t going to change,” Missy groaned, voice muffled as she buried her face in her hands.

“Okay, then.  We’ll go over your testimony again.  A few more times, if you don’t mind,” One of the local detectives smirked, ignoring the death glare you sent her way.

“Fine.  Frank was walking me to the community center.  I was taking a class on resume writing.  It was cloudy, not raining, but cold.  We came around the side of the building when a man in a leather jacket walked around the corner.”

“And what did this man do?”

“He- he shot Frank.  He tried to kill my-” she took a shaky breath.  You put a hand on her arm, aiming for gentle comfort and reassurance.  Missy nodded, letting you know you’d hit your target.

“Did you see his face?” The officer continued.

“No.  He was wearing one of those bike helmets that block off the person’s eyes- but I swear, it wasn’t Adam.  This guy was too bulky.  Adam’s made of wires, he needs to eat more.”

“You seem to have a lot of affection for Adam,” the detective leaned forward, “Now, we know you’ve claimed to be in a relationship with Frank- but could you describe your relationship with Adam for us?”

“I already said it!  I took a couple classes with him!  He’s a friend, that’s all.”

“Mhmm.  That’s all.  And in your previous line of work- the one that earned you a prison sentence of twelve months and a little over minimum wage- you had a lot of ‘friends,’ yes?”

“Excuse me?” your fingers bit into the table that separated you from the cop.  You had half a mind to jump over the thing and throttle the smug detective sitting before you.  

“What?” Missy growled, “You think just because I used to hook I fuck all my friends now?  I’ve taken a few classes with Doc (L/N), I haven’t fucked them!”

You nodded in solemn agreement.  The detective shrugged this off, ignoring everything that came out of Missy’s mouth.  When she spoke again, her voice rang with the faux pity of someone who held themselves leagues above Missy.

“You know, I can see why you were looking at writing up a resume- your old line of work is so degrading.  You know you’re never the same, afterwards.  You can never wash off the shame.  You’ll always be a little broken.  A little-”

“Okay, that’s enough-” you stood up, slamming your hands down on the table.

“Hey, fuck you, man-” Missy leaned forward, “Don’t tell me what hooking did to me.  You don’t know me.  You don’t fucking know.”

“And now you’re lashing out.  Poor thing-”

“Detective Foy.  A word,” Tara Lewis, a newer BAU agent who you hadn’t really had the pleasure of meeting materialized in the doorway like a perfectly timed ghost, ready to right some wrongs and keep you from committing a murder.  Her request for a word was perfectly intimidating, disclosing the not-so-secret secret that the request itself was not actually a request.  

“I’m sorry, Agent, I’m in the middle of an interrogation-” 

“It’s not an interrogation.  You’re questioning a witness.  Agent Jareau will handle things from here.  Now, a word?”

You and Missy watched as the detective slunk out of the room with her tail between her legs.  Moments later, JJ joined you, but she didn’t bother to start a line of questioning.  Instead, the three of you watched in giddy silence as Tara Lewis destroyed Detective Foy where she stood.  You couldn’t hear her through the glass, but you could vaguely read the words, “You are a police officer meant to serve and protect the people in your community, and uphold the law.  You should educate yourself on the law, and on what it means to serve and protect.”  On her lips.

You could’ve been off on that translation, but either way, it was sick as fuck.  By the time Tara was finished, you and Missy were barely holding back your laughter.  You probably would’ve held it in if JJ hadn’t turned around with a pleased grin on her face.

“Ok, well, I’ve known Agent Lewis for about three minutes, and already I adore her,” you cackled.

“Oh, she’s excellent,” Missy said, eyes sparkling with mirth.

“Well, we certainly like her,” Jennifer grinned, clearly proud of her teammate and happy to see that someone outside the BAU had taken notice.

A few moments later, Tara re-entered the room with a tired sigh on her lips.  It didn’t take her long to realize that you were all staring right at her.

“What?  What is it?”

“Oh, it’s nothing, we just think, as a group,” you looked around like you were the leader of the world’s weirdest (and maybe coolest?) group project, “That you are, objectively, excellent.”

“Yep.  Not bad for a Fed.”

Again, you nodded in agreement, “I concur.”

Tara raised an eyebrow, slightly confused, “Thank you?”

Missy gave Tara a thumbs up.  You followed her lead.  Not really knowing what else to do in this situation, and figuring there was no harm in joining the madness, Tara returned the thumbs up.

“Well, like we said, we’ll take over the questioning from here,” JJ took a seat as she spoke.  Tara joined her at the table.

“So, after Frank was shot, did you see where the attacker went?”

“No.  I was kind of focused on my partner bleeding on the ground.”

“That’s fair- but try to think back.  Did you see anything in your peripheral vision?  Did you hear anything?”

Missy paused for a moment, and when she spoke again, she still sounded lost in thought, “I heard a bike.  It makes sense with the helmet- I think it might’ve been a Yamaha?”  

“Wait, you can tell which brand a bike is by the sound?” you asked, not disbelieving Missy, but distracted by the new knowledge that a person could do such a thing.

“If you let me think about it, I could probably give you the make and model.”

“Holy shit, really?” your eyes were wide.  Your expression betrayed just how bewildered and impressed you were by vehicle knowledge.  It might’ve been basic knowledge, but fuck it, the author can’t drive.

“Oh, absolutely- different bikes make different sounds.  Cars are similar,” Tara nodded her agreement.

“You can tell cars apart by their sounds!?”

“Yeah?  Can’t you?” Missy turned to face you, slightly bemused.

“I can tell that they’re old?  Or like, electric, I guess?”

“Okay, when this is all over, I’m giving you a lesson.”

“I’d like to get in on that,” Tara added.

“Excellent!” Missy smiled, “Now everyone shut up and let me think.”

-

The way the BAU treated Frank dragged your guard down further.  They were gentle, but not dehumanizing or infantilizing.  They just treated him like a human person, and you found that neat, and more importantly, Frank found that neat.  

Also, the BAU laughed at Frank’s anecdotes and jokes.  I will be fully honest.  That was more of a relief to you, especially because a decent chunk of those anecdotes and jokes were about you murdering the shit out of Spencer Reid using nothing but your words.

It really started on that very first day, when you and Spencer had gone to visit Frank.  He could see it from his hospital bed- Spencer’s hand on your shoulder, the way Spencer was very clearly trying to comfort you from some unknown upset, and that was it.

Frank said, “Wow.  Those two have sure come a long way from Doc telling him to go die in a ditch.”

And JJ, who had been questioning him, choked on her coffee and wheezed out a, “What?”  

And that was pretty much it.  Frank explained that Spencer had pissed you off, you’d hit him with the “die in a ditch” thing, and he looked so sad that you literally forgave him the next day.  (He left out the bit about the stabbing, because stabbing doesn’t just kill people, it kills moods.)

From then on, Frank was the premium source of gossip on you and Spencer.  Of course, Missy got in on it, too.

When they told Rossi about the time you’d called Reid a “shit-licking asshole fed,” the agent laughed so hard that he literally couldn’t speak for a solid minute.  Was he a big fan of the anti-fed talk?  Not particularly.  But you had gone at it with such gusto, and with such anger, that he couldn’t help but cackle.  

You knew none of this, but you knew that everyone involved seemed happier after the BAU took the case.  That was good enough for you.

-

Your guard fell because of Spencer.

Wasn’t that always the way this was going to go?

While the BAU took care of your friends, Spencer took care of you.  He made sure you got home safe.  He kept you in the loop about everything case-relevant.  He made sure you remembered to eat, which was kind of hypocritical of him, but oh well.  He offered to drive you to and from the hospital, which was a fun kind of hell, because the man obeyed every traffic law ever made, but you got to bully him for it, so it all evened out in the end.  He distracted you from the nightmare you were living through by offering fun facts.  He made the nightmare better just by being him.  

And he was the one to get Adam out.  

He didn’t announce this victory to you.  He just showed up one day, at the hospital, following behind Adam as the newly freed man burst into Frank’s room.

“Frank!  Hey, are you good man?  I’m sorry I wasn’t here sooner, I would’ve been, but you know how it is with cops.”

“Shit, dude,” Frank beamed, “All things considered, I’m not too bad.”

“Holy shit, Adam?” you let out a hospital-appropriate screech.

“Oh my god,” Missy stood from her place at Frank’s bedside to give him a hug.  For a moment, she held him so tightly that it looked like Adam legitimately couldn’t breathe.

The moment she saw Spencer lingering in the background, she switched from one wire-shaped man to the next.  Spencer hugged her back politely, and then, in an instant, she was onto you.

“You sons of bitches did it!  You actually did it!”

“Did we?” you asked Spencer, lowering your voice as Missy, Frank, and Adam enjoyed their reunion.

“We did,” Spencer confirmed, stepping closer to you until you were side to side, whispering to each other to avoid disturbing your friends, “We found bank statements proving that this was a targeted hit, unrelated to Adam.  We’ve only been able to find the unsub���s side so far, but it won’t take us long to find whoever contracted him.” 

“Shit- that’s both really good and mildly fucking terrifying.”

“I know,” Spencer answered almost too quickly, but he covered it up just as fast, “But it means that Adam is a free man.  It’s almost over, (Y/N).”

You let out a small exhale, trying to maintain some semblance of calm, “Almost.  Thank you, Spence.  For all of this, for everything-”

“You don’t need to thank me.  It wasn’t just the new evidence.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, there was this local criminology professor, maybe you’ve heard of them.  They were incredibly insistent that law enforcement look deeper into the case, and because of them, the conviction vanished.”

A smile slipped onto your face as you turned to face him, “Was that a joke, Spence?  You’re doing ha-ha funny jokes now?”

“I’m saying you did a good thing, here, (Y/N).  Look,” he nodded towards the hospital bed, where your friends were talking, beaming, clinging to each other’s hands like they’d been shot, traumatized, and separated for months- which was an accurate summary, actually.

At your side, you let your hand slip into Spencer’s, weaving your fingers between his slender ones.  You felt his grip tighten, his palm pressed tightly to yours.  His hands were warm.

“We did a good thing,” you whispered.

You pulled him closer by the hand.  You weren’t harsh or forceful, but Spencer still stumbled into you with what can only be described as a somewhat lovestruck grin on his face.

And then his phone rang.

You watched his face fall as he answered it.  His fingers drifted away from yours.  You could almost hear Hotchner’s voice on the other end.  The call only lasted a few moments, but it changed everything.  The air in the room grew heavy.  The room fell silent.

“We found the unsub.  My team is confronting him now, I-” he paused.

“They want you to go with them.”

“I have to.”

A shaky breath escaped your lungs, and you were kinda pissed at it- how dare that shaky breath reveal how you actually felt?  How dare it break free from your body, alerting Spencer that your world had just spun out sideways for the millionth time that week.

You were gonna square up with that fucking breath.

But first, without saying another word, you nodded towards the door.  Spencer nodded back.  Like that, he was gone.  You watched him go.  You stared at the empty doorway after he’d left.   The room remained silent.

I mean, it did until it didn’t- your friends couldn’t watch that and say nothing.  I don’t think anybody could.

“Holy shit, you’re just gonna let him leave without saying goodbye?” Adam asked, looking between you and the door so quickly that you were almost surprised that his head didn’t fly off.

“He’s down bad,” Frank whispered, nodding in agreement, “Go get him.”

“I- he’s gonna be back in five minutes,” you tried to reason.  It didn’t work.

“He could be back never!  He might die!” Missy ran forward, gripping your shoulders.

“He’s got a bulletproof vest-”

“THERE IS SO MUCH THOSE THINGS DON’T COVER!!” Missy progressed to shaking you, slightly, “Go get him!  Hurry, before it’s too late!”

“I really don’t know what you want me to say here.”

“Tell him you’re also down bad!” Frank exclaimed, no longer whispering.

“Down bad-?  What the fuck does that even mean,” you said, your voice growing quieter and quieter as you left the room and headed down the hallway.

“... Y’know, they taught me what ‘down bad’ means.”

“Same.”

As your friends continued to discuss, you were already halfway down the hallway, walking as fast as you could given the hospital setting.  Spencer was nowhere to be seen and you really didn’t have time to look.  You really had one choice.  The elevators.

You reached them just in time to watch that lanky noodle motherfucker step inside.

Giving up on decorum, you raced through the hospital corridor, yelling out apologies at every human person you passed- fortunately there weren’t too many, so it wasn’t like you caused a massive disturbance.  Most people just thought you were having your rom-com finale moment.  Maybe some part of you was trying to, but honestly, you weren’t really thinking about it.  You were mostly just thinking, “Shit, shit, shit, I have to get in that elevator.”

And you did!  You made it!  You stumbled through the doors and came to a stop in the middle of that tiny box.  Spencer reached out to steady you, his expression letting you in on his amused confusion.  You smiled up at him, trying not to pant- and then you came to a realization.

You had no fucking clue what the hell you were going to say.

To be fair, what the fuck is a person supposed to say in that situation?  “Heyyyy, my friends think I’m in love with you, so now I’m here, wanna talk about that before you head into a dangerous situation involving a hitman and many guns?”

Or perhaps, “Hey!  You’re a good person even though I keep insisting you aren’t one, so I want you to know that you’re a good person before I send you off to get murdered!”

Or maybe, “You’re hot, I’m hot, wanna spend the next thirty seconds doing terrible things to this elevator that will get us forcibly removed from this hospital?”

Or even, “Hi, you just did a really nice thing for my friends, and I really appreciate it, and even though I don’t express it, I do care about you a lot, so maybe don’t die in the next few hours.  For me.  Please.”

In the end, you just settled for, “Hi.”

“Hi,” Spencer replied, not taking his hands from your shoulders even though you were more than steady, “Is everything okay?”

“Okay?  Yeah,  yeah, everything is, um.  Everything’s fine.  I just-”  you froze again, because seriously, what the fuck could you say right then and there?  What could you say that would let him know everything you wanted him to know?

“Are you sure?” he looked at you, held you with such delicate concern.  You kind of wanted to partake in elevator ruining activities with Spencer until the two of you got kicked out of the hospital together. 

“Yeah- yeah!  Everything’s- I’m okay, it’s just,” you raised your hand, letting it hover between the two of you for a moment before you placed it over one of his, “Come out of this alive.  Make sure everyone else does, too, but… come out of this okay, okay?”

Spencer hesitated.  And then he wrapped his hand around yours and brought it to his lips, kissing your knuckles ever so briefly.

“I will.  I promise.”

The elevator bell dinged.  You’d reached the parking lot.  Spencer let go of your hand with a different kind of hesitation.  

“I’ll see you soon,” he offered, “Okay?”

“Okay.”

Spencer disappeared into the parking lot, dashing out of sight and into danger.  You stood there, watching until the elevator doors slid shut and that infernal box pulled you back up again.  The humming metal lights above and the clanking metal around you harmonized into the perfect soundscape for your empty mind.

Spencer was heading into danger, as he always did.  You were returning to serve your community, as you always did.  Spencer might not come back, and you would always remain, and you realized that when the case was over, he would go back to Quantico with the BAU, and you probably wouldn’t see him ever again.

And it broke your heart a little bit.  Maybe more than a little bit.  A little bit, perhaps.

You were a long way from, “Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, go die,” indeed.

♥ Tags: @icarusignite, @usuallyunlikelyfox, @maraudersforlife2005, @fictionalcomforts, @morgthemagpie, @iiheartbowie, @digitalhearts, @corpsebridenightamare, @ghostatrixx, @reiding-writing, @mywellspringoflife, @80katie, @ms-ks-world, @logicalhorror if you asked to be tagged and i forgot, pls let me know!! if you would like to be tagged and aren't, also let me know!!

[salty-an-disco]

CONTRAHERO HEADCANONS GO:

Who is the big spoon and who is the little spoon, or do they switch depending on how they feel?

In general, or any particular storyline/AU you want to talk about, which of them do you think kisses the other first?

Who among the others would either of them go to if they wanted advice on relationship stuff or just to talk about nervousness or worries or even happiness with someone other than the other person?

Who among the others was just waiting for those two to get together already, who suspects they are together before they get together/admit they're together, and who was just 100% totally oblivious until it's either blatantly obvious or they straight-up get told?

What are their favorite kinds of dates?

Answer any, all, or none of these, however you are feeling :D

YEEESSSSSSSS, THANK YOU FOR THIS!!!

- Contra’s often the big spoon. They like holding Hero, and Hero likes being held, so it works out great for them. They’ll switch it up too tho, especially when Contra’s feeling down or is just tired, and being held by Hero is the best recharger there is.

- When I imagine their first kiss, it’s often Hero who kisses them first. Contrarian is too avoidant and afraid of intimacy to be the one to kiss first (unless they can pass it off as a bit, or it’s just really obvious Hero wants them to kiss him right now), while Hero is a pretty straightforward guy and will go for it if the chance presents itself.

- Ohohohohoh, that’s a good one. Hmmmmm. If Contrarian ended up talking/venting about relationships to someone, I feel like it’d be broken (Cold is their bestie, but c’mon, its Cold, his approach to feelings is the I Do Not See It emojis), they’re not very gossipy or judgemental, and can be very sympathetic, so I feel like, out of everyone, Contrarian would feel safest leaning on them. They would consider Smitten for a moment, get embarrassed about what they think he might say, then go Nope.

Hero wouldn’t actively seek out someone to ask advice/just talk about it (he doesn’t feel like he needs to bother others with his dilemmas), but if prodded in the right moment, by the right person, he’d spill his guts out. And that person would be Smitten. He’d get Hero to spill out all of his hopeless romantic fantasies and how much he’s been enjoying spending time with Contrarian, and listen to it patiently, all the while grinning delighted. I also think he’d give great advice about how the transition from strictly platonic to romantic doesn’t have to be a big deal, or change all that much, if you don’t want to (what I think would be Hero’s biggest fear, together with scaring away Contra). He’d also make many corny comments that makes Hero go beet red (does he do it on purpose? Does he not? Who knows!!!).

(too bad Contra dismissed Smitty’s advice straight away)

- Hunted and Smitten absolutely notice it before they even get together. Hunted already sees them as mated, Smitten is waiting with bated breath for them to get together

Cheated jokingly says ‘are those two gonna kiss, or what?’ once, then goes, ‘wait–’

Cold knows there’s Something going on, but his alexithymic brain can’t quite figure it out for a while until it becomes obvious. Skeptic is in a similar spot

Paranoid would catch on eventually, after they get together, but before they start telling others, I feel like. Maybe she confronts them about it, and that’s what inspires them to just tell the others

Stubborn and Opportunist are the ones who really didn’t saw it coming, but while Stubborn just shrugs and goes ‘good for you’, Oppy is absolutely stupified (that’s not what his mental relationship chart looks like!)

Broken just always assumed they were already together

- I’m terrible at thinking about dates concepts aaaaaaahhhhhh– while Hero would absolutely touch on his hopeless romantic side and take Contrarian to candlelit dinners or a picnic in the park on occasion, I feel like they enjoy simple hang-outs a lot more. Just the two of them watching some shitty movies on TV together, roasting it while cuddling on the couch.

[autisticlancemcclain]

thank u @zenstrike for the tag <333333333 i see ur mic and i'm elated about it

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

185! but i haven't updated in like a week and a half so we're probably closer to 190

2. what’s your total ao3 word count?

556,104. i am very excited to watch it jump up when i finally finish my longfic teehee

3. what fandoms do you write for?

literally just voltron lol. well not counting baby me's wattpad lol. i started writing almost two years ago and just went ham basically. i've been intentionally avoiding things that i know i will get hyperfixated on bc i don't want to stop my writing obsession lol

4. what are your top five fics by kudos?

ooooou i'm excited to check. i know it's changed quite a bit over time. i usually sort them by hits!

i will grind you to sand (beneath my louboutin heels) [voltron, 2573 words]: bamf lance fic where i give him a revolver and let him go ham basically

mr. snuggles [voltron, 1656 words]: one of my very earliest fics! lance, lover of weirdo animals, finds a demonic cat-sized spider and adopts it despite his friend's freakouts

he might not look like he gets bitches (but honey that dick was eleven inches) [voltron, 1136 words]: this one is so dorky lol but it's just secret relationship klance coming to light in the most embarrassing possible way

does anyone know where the love of god goes (when the waves turn the minutes to hours) [voltron, 4283]: a canon divergence au where lance is a seer and convinces the skeptics on his team of his abilities by ending the war

this is the part of me that you're never gonna ever get away) [voltron, 3262 words]: a lance & shiro hurt/comfort with a small autistic lance character study! i'm very proud of this one

5. do you respond to comments?

i definitely do on tumblr! it's one of the first things i do when i wake up actually. on ao3, though...i'm pretty sure i have about eight hundred unanswered comments sitting in my inbox 💀 it's an ongoing issue

6. what’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i'm almost sure it's this post-game show lance leaving fic, because i got comments and asks for weeks begging me to write a happy ending lol. but this fic from the hana universe, from when keith is little and shiro is fighting for custody and they haven't figured things out yet. that one is sad. this dream pov adashi fic is also sad and has no happy ending bc, you know. shiro is in space and adam thinks he's dead and everything. my loneliest series is also still in progress and as such there is no happy ending. and this is my earliest angsty-ending fic with MCD

7. what’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

oh god pretty much everything i write has a happy ending?? if i’m being serious?? frankly i don’t do a lot of linear plot. i just write Scenes that are vaguely connected. BUT my h2o fic had a plot that ended happily, as did my cowboy fic, but truly i’m more of a slice of life kinda gal. all my active wips are plot-driven, though, and i plan for all of them to end happily.

8. do you get hate on fics?

oh god yeah. i get it on brown eyed lance, autistic lance, adhd keith, allura just in general (are you sensing a pattern), my refusal to use readmores, and lately just some demands for me to write differently/more?? most of it is just funny so i post it to goof on it lol, but some of it i just delete and pout about until i forget about it 💀

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

yes and it’s nasty and i will literally never ever post it. although i guess i’ve written some softer stuff that’s more allusion than anything, like in my loneliest series.

10. do you write crossovers? what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

not anymore, but i did when i was a kid?? i think i wrote a pjo/hoo/divergent/the mortal instruments/homestuck/a bunch of other shit fic when i was 13. i’ve successfully blocked that era out of my mind tho so i’m not sure. i do a lot of insane aus, tho. i wrote a fic based off a country song written in the sixties. so.

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

i’ve had people write continuations of my wips?? which i didn’t rly like. i just ignored it.

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

someone has asked me about translating a fic before! haven’t heard anything since tho.

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

i have tried. i’m not very good at it. i have very Specific ideas about things and can be very controlling, so it’s honestly better that i don’t lol.

14. what’s your all-time favorite ship?

klance, easy. been in the trenches of this goddamn fandom since i was 13 years of age. it’s been a Journey.

15. what’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

god, the butterfly effect. i get people asking me to update all the time and i genuinely feel bad, because i have absolutely no ideas or plans for it. i might try to come up with an ending of some kind?? but i wrote that like two years ago, so i have changed a LOT about my writing since then.

16. what are your writing strengths?

dialogue and humour, i think. and sometimes writing lack of emotional communication (if that makes sense — i like to try and write around an emotion).

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

i over explain a lot. and i overuse dialog ur tags sometimes. i have a Very Specific scene playing out in my head and i want everyone else to see it like i’m seeing it, which is my downfall a lot. i’ve been trying to work on implicit stage directions.

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

i think sometimes it’s necessary? it can be a good tool for humour, like with cussing that can’t be achieved in english. but while i understand and read several languages i have always always struggled to speak or write in them. it’s very frustrating so i often avoid the subject entirely lol.

19. first fandom you wrote for?

i’ve been writing fanfic in my head since before i knew what it was, but i started typing things at around 11 when i used to homestuck roleplay with my friends lol. messy messy times.

20. favorite fic you’ve ever written?

oh i am my own target audience. i have several.

i need a man (who’s patient and kind): keith-centric post canon (divergence) fic where lance takes him to his family and keith is good with kids and just keith being loved is the whole point. always.

what if i lose it all: an alternate universe where lance, as a baby, loses both his parents, and then is raised by his oldest siblings. in luis’ pov.

when does a ripple become a tidal wave (when does the reason become the flame): brogane fight & angst canon divergence post season 6; covering shiro’s guilt complex and keith’s unwavering loyalty

he’s into superstitions (black cats and voodoo dolls): halloween verse with witch lance and vampire keith! i have barely spoken about this au on here but rest assured i’m thinking about it all the fucking time

the applebee’s universe: modern au with young keith and lance learning how to love each other

ceilings (plaster): non-linear dream-like fic that’s just so trippy and strange i’m obsessed with it

if the sky comes falling down (for you) there’s nothing in this world i wouldn’t do: a keith character study about how the biggest bleeding heart in the universe loves

the hana universe: brogane-centric universe as their family starts rocky and grows

thank u again for the tag zen <33 open offer for anyone else who would like to hop on!!

[kagdowo]

Ok to answer your tags. flynn is way too active (involved with the self/ self serving) and way too good at self care to be a seer. (also the idk about you until we've hung out enough and then i'll die for you but i'll never tell you but that's another thing entirely)

a good example of echo project seer would be cameron wilson from arches vn (seer of doom, dersite) or dave halloway (seer of time prospit)

Flynn just has too much of the akward cohabitation with his aspect too much of self imposed rules. and not enough of trying to foster pseudo mage like traits into other to be a seer.

altough yes you are right flynn is the ragest bitch to have ever raged. (you could argue that flynn ending and him spectatulary failing at self care by getting himself killed is a seerish trait. but the devil is in the details. seer hurts themselves with their opposite aspect. by misfiring their twin witch impulse (especially the women) terezi had relationship problems rose was alcoholic etc....

Mage get burned by their primary aspect while gaining instinctive non scholar insigth about it. (flynn get burned by rage when his fury against secrets and lie as well as general skepticism led him to be burned in the mine, murdoch get burned by blood with his abusive familly situation)

all in all flynn has all the akwardness the wanting to dance by their own rules the attuning to his aspect as personal insights of a mages.

i am literally a seer so i know one when i see one. P.S other fvn seers might include cordelia hendricks (seer of hope prospit) porter moore (seer of blood no idea of his lunar sway) and klaus from dawn chorus (seer of void, no idea for his sway either)

omg wow thank u so much for ur reaponse!! this was such a fun breakdown to read, and now that I’ve read it I wholeheartedly agree with u on flynn being a mage of rage.

i always had a hard time conceptualizing / understanding the mage class- like, i understood they suffer from their aspect in some way and in the process gain intuitive knowledge about it, but that was the extent of my understanding.

seers too- like, lmao now that i’m thinking about it i think i had an even looser grasp on seers than i had on mages! i didnt even know about the twin witch impulse stuff, or the stuff about fostering psuedo mages

it all makes perfect sense tho, and i’m a bit embarrassed i never really caught on to a lot of this before (especially embarrassed that i forgot seers were the passive to mages, not the other way around lol)

regardless tho, thanks so much for taking the time to write all this!! i especially love how u provided examples of other seers/mages in other fvn titles. (cameron as a seer of doom is so real but its also such a sad title, which tracks but still 😭)

i gotta ask if u’ve thought about the rest of the casts’ titles? i’ve thought about it a bit, but as shown, i don’t really have the greatest grasp of classpecting so a lot of what i have is really half baked

i think leo is definitely bloodbound and possible a prospit dreamer? or maybe he’s a prince and he’s just mirroring blood so he’s actually a prince of breath? or something?

carl feels possibly space or breath bound? maybe a page too?

jenna is either light or mind? as for class idrk

tj could be either void or hope? void cuz of syd and hope cuz of his faith and how he parallels flynn (lol i know very superficial). and as for his class… idk honestly lol

and chase… idk really lmao, maybe heart? since he’s sort of the heart of the narrative? don’t really know what class i’d give chase either tbh

and the sydney… probably doombound, right? or time, since his death sort of starts the clockdown towards the town’s undoing?

[spideyharrington]

Insufferable

summary: based off this request! “Hi can I request a Theseus x reader where she is newt’s assistant and can’t really stand him because of his demenaur but then she gets to spend time with him and get to know him and they kind of bond,ends in fluff”

warnings: Banter from theseus but y/n doesn’t quite realize that and maybe being a bit too rude to him, other than that it’s just y/n rolling her eyes at him, tending to newts creatures, newt trying to ignore them, and then fluff where theseus is just being an adorable human and showing his hufflepuffness(?)

A/N: my first request ever. i’m so excited for this it was such a fun plot and i’m glad to finally write for theseus! i hope the time jumps aren’t annoying. i wasn’t entirely sure how to do this without it being incredibly long 😖 even tho it’s definitely still one of my longest ones. i hope anon likes it and anyone else reading :D

ALSO i did not proof read this so i’ll probably do that sometime in the late afternoon and edit anything i need to 😅

word count: 2.3k

You’ve been Newt’s assistant with his creatures for a little over a year now. You’d met Theseus a few times before, but now him and Newt were doing some sort of mission together which lead to him just staying at Newt’s place. You obviously weren’t going to complain because you were only Newt’s assistant. You weren’t about to tell him you didn’t want his own brother to stay in his own house just because he got on your nerves a tad. But, Merlin were you tempted at times.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You woke up early to go start caring for the creatures in the case before anyone else was up, even Newt. You hadn’t meant to wake up so early but once you did, there was no falling back asleep. Needless to say, you were already in a not so great mood, so you were a bit relieved to have some alone times with the creatures. That is until Theseus so rudely decided to walk into the case about an hour after you had started working.

“Good morning darling. You’re up quite early. Even Newt is still sound asleep.” He raised an eyebrow at you and gave you that famous smirk that apparently works on everyone but you.

“Not now Theseus,” you answered bitterly without turning around from the mooncalfs you were feeding, “and don’t you ever call me darling.”

“Well someone’s woke up on the wrong side of the bed now haven’t we?”

Now you turned around to look at him and give him the most unamused face you possibly could. Just for him to give you an annoying crooked smile.

You were about to go off on him until your eyes went to the stairs and saw Newt very slowly coming into the case, eyes darting between you and Theseus to make sure he’s not imposing on anything important.

“Oh thank Merlin,” you mumbled under your breath, “Newt please tell your brother to let me get back to work.”

Newt looked at Theseus as he scratched the back of his head, “Y/N why are you down here so early?”

“I woke up early and couldn’t fall back asleep so i decided to start on things a bit early today. Is that alright?” Theseus furrowed his brows at how much softer your town was with Newt. Were you really in a bad mood today or was it just because he was around?

“Of course that’s alright. But… I do think you deserve a day off. It seems you’ve been doing most of the work down here for about two weeks now. I can handle them from here for today,” he nervously smiled at you through his hair, scared he’d annoy you further than his brother already has.

“That’s very kind of you Newt but I promise I’m alright to help y-“

“No he’s right,” Theseus cut you off, “if anyone deserves the day off it’s you. I think you should take it.” He was being genuine but you hadn’t noticed. You were too busy glaring at him. Ooh if looks could kill…

“What’s your angle Scamander?” You stared the older brother straight in the eyes as you looked at him skeptically.

Theseus chuckled, finding it cute when you angrily called him by his last name, “angle? Why would I have an angle darling?”

“I told you not to call me- You know what?” you held the bridge of your nose trying to calm yourself down, “I am going to take the day off. Thank you Newt,” you smiled at him before going up the stairs that he was still frozen on.

Theseus started to head up the stairs shortly after, only to be stopped by Newt, “maybe you should just leave her be today Theseus,” he tried to say sternly while staring at the ground with one hand on his brothers chest to keep him there while he talked.

Theseus looked at him slightly confused, before chuckling, “I’ll make sure to tell her you tried your best.”

Newt shook his head in annoyance. If he kept this up they were going to have to stay somewhere else for the rest of their mission. Merlin only knows how much longer Y/N will be able to put up with his shenanigans.

To yours and Newts surprise, Theseus actually left you alone majority of the day. The only other time he bothered you was when you all had dinner together, which had become a nightly ritual since their mission began.

It was comfortably silent until, of course, Theseus opened his mouth, “Y/N you really should sit up a bit more straight.”

Newt stared at his soup while your mouth fell open and you stared at Theseus in disbelief, “I beg your pardon? Are you seriously trying to tell me I’m sitting wrong?”

Theseus looked shocked at your reaction, “no- I- Well, yes but I didn’t-“

Now it was your turn to cut him off, “no, you know what? I’m so tired of you criticizing everything I do ever since you got here,” you dropped your spoon in your, luckily, empty bowl with a loud clank, “not to mention you never give your poor brother a break. All he does is care for his creatures and everyone around him, including you, and all you do is tell him how he should be joining the ministry when he clearly doesn’t want to! And you joke far too much. He clearly doesn’t understand half of the time, and to be quite frank it’s not entirely his fault. You don’t have a very distinct difference in your ‘i’m being sarcastic’ versus your ‘i’m being serious’ tone.”

Newt’s eyes were wide and his eyebrows disappeared into his hair. Yet all Theseus did was chuckle. And if you weren’t already furious with his attitude, that really set you off.

“You are so insufferable!” You yell at him as you put your dishes in the sink loudly and make your way back into the case, knowing the creatures could calm you down.

Theseus stood up and Newt stopped him immediately, again. But this time he looked his brother in the eyes, “Leave her alone Theseus. I really mean it. I have never heard her yell like that. Not even when Teddy broke her favorite necklace.”

Theseus clenched his jaw before running his hand over his face, looking clearly guilty, “I’m sorry Newt.”

Newt raised his brows at him in confusion.

“I don’t mean to come off so… Insufferable, as Y/N put it. I only want the best for you, you know that.”

Newt nodded his head quickly, “trust me I know you don’t have any cruel intentions. I did grow up with you harassing me constantly,” they both chuckled, “but she didn’t. And to other people you definitely do seem to come off as a bit overbearing.”

Theseus nodded in understanding, “can you really not tell the difference between my joking and my serious voice?”

Newt laughed nervously, “I can usually figure it out. Just not always in that moment.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A couple days later you were helping feed the baby nifflers when one of them spat up all over your shirt. You groaned and put it back with the others after cleaning it up.

“Go change,” Newt tried not to chuckle but failed. Luckily you laughed too.

“I’ll be right back,” you ran up stairs and changed quickly, grabbing the first shirt you saw so you could get back to Newt and finish your tasks for the day.

Once you were done with your tasks, Newt stayed in the case for a bit to do some work on his book. You were headed for the couch when you saw Theseus standing in a doorway staring at you. You stared back. You stared at each other for a solid minute before you asked, “Can I help you with something?” It came out a bit harsher than you intended.

“Yeah. Why are you wearing my shirt?” He raised an eyebrow and leaned against the doorway, arms crossed with a smile of amusement on his face.

“What? I’m not wearing your-“ you looked down and noticed that the shirt was unusually large on you. Why hadn’t Newt said anything? “I’m so sorry Theseus! I rushed to change after a baby niffler spat up on me and I grabbed the first shirt i saw but I swear i thought it was mine i didn’t mean to steal your cl-“

“Y/N,” he chuckled, a genuine smile on his face, “it’s alright. I didn’t think you were intentionally trying to steal my clothes. Although, I suppose you could be slowly stealing my shirts one by one until I run out and I’m forced to walk around shirtless-“ you threw the closest pillow to you at him, trying to make your face not turn red but failing miserably.

He threw his hands up in surrender, “alright alright, I’m just messing with you. Geez,” he shook his head in mock offense and you laughed. You laughed at something he did, “are you feeling alright?” He was really only half joking.

You tilted your head before he added, “you actually laughed. Out loud. To me.”

You rolled your eyes and started to head to your room to change, “careful Scamander, you’re still on thin ice. And also now on the verge of never getting this shirt back. It’s quite soft.”

Theseus smiled to himself. Damnit why did you have to have such a cute laugh and look so cute in his comically oversized shirt?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It had been about another week and you and Theseus were slowly starting to get along better. You started understanding his sarcasm better, after Newt so nicely explained that he’s only like that with people he cares about, and his smirk has started to work on you. Not that you’d ever admit that to him or even Newt.

That morning, Newt had to run an errand and left you in charge of the creatures, which he has done plenty of times with no problems. Except for today. Today you managed to let a small occamy escape the case. You immediately started panicking and bolted out of the case trying to find it. After about five minutes of looking, you couldn’t find her. You started screaming for Theseus and he came bolting into the room, wanda ready for danger. He looked around to see that no one was there but you. He noticed your extremely panicked breathing and ran over and grabbed your shoulders, looking you in the eyes, “darling what’s the matter?” He hadn’t meant to use the nickname outside of his playful tone but it slipped out and you were too panicked to notice right now anyway.

“The- One of the occamy’s got out and i can’t find her- If I don’t find her Newt will never forgive me and i’ll feel so awful for losing track of such a beautiful creature…” You trailed off, suddenly realizing how close Theseus was and how it was not helping slow your heartbeat any. You looked in his eyes, suddenly feeling a bit shy. He very suddenly hugged you and you stood frozen for a moment. Newt had mentioned he was a bit of a hugger but you thought he was joking at this point.

“I’ll help you. We’ll find her I promise,” you hugged him back lightly before you both went looking for the critter.

You had split up into different rooms when you heard Theseus let out an odd… Squeal? You jogged to the room he was in, only to see the little occamy curled up in his hands. You stared, mouth somewhere between a smile and hung open in shock at the sight before you. Not only did the occamy trust him enough to hold her and pet her, but he was petting her so gently and had such a wide smile on his face. He was even talking to her and she made little sounds back at him.

Theseus looked up and questioned your expression, “she doesn’t even let me hold her…”

“Well she just has good taste I suppose.”

You scoffed, “yeah right, Scamander.”

He smiled at the name you used to use when you were angry at him, but that you now use to banter back.

You both went back into the case to put the occamy where she belonged. You turned around to thank Theseus again and apologize for being so dramatic about it, but you slipped on water you spilled earlier and had forgotten to clean up. You were going to land face first on the ground if Theseus hadn’t been right in front of you. He held onto your arms for quite a bit longer than necessary as he stared into hour eyes, keeping you in a trance of sorts.

You searched his eyes as your heartbeat quickened. You were thrown off when you heard Theseus chuckle, “I think your heart may explode-“

“Oh shut up Scamander,” you pulled him in for a kiss, throwing him off for once, which made you smirk into it.

Newt had come back and was walking into the case, before pausing and turning around, for he was interrupting this time, “about time,” he muttered to himself.

“I knew you were into me. I mean, c’mon. Who could resist me,” he wriggled his eye brows making you laugh, “you still owe me a shirt by the way…”

“You truly are insufferable, you know?” you playfully hit him at his suggestive tone, and me smiled his ridiculously handsome smile.

[silvergoldraeven]

Part 8 which took way longer than it should've hfhdhfhf

(im so r ry fsdfdsfds)

Part 7 here

- Heimdall just trying to eat in peace but Huginn and Muninn constantly stealing his food.

Just. Heimdall taking a bite of an apple and both the birds being like "yo snack time!!" and chomping down.

Huginn and Muninn trying to eat cheese and Heimdall having to VERY quickly take it away from them and scolding them

- Heimdall telling Atreus "don't be too eager to prove yourself to others. You'll turn into some people pleasing prick"

"sounds like you're talking from experience :D"

Cue Atreus being kicked off of Gulltoppr

- Heimdall actually adores animals since they never really have bad intentions. Yes they're a bit mischievous from time to time, but if they're actually "bad"  it's for their own survival.

- Baldur and Heimdall constantly lean on Atreus' head and whenever anyone asks why they do it they reply with "so he won't grow taller than us :)"

-  on Atreus' birthday, Heimdall takes him to Alfheim at night, sets up a comfy place with a bunch of furs, pillows and snacks while they camp there all night.

- when it's winter again, Heimdall tries to look tough by going out to hunt without the thick furs he normally wears, Kratos sternly calls him back. Heimdall reluctantly walks back to his father who puts the fur coat on Heimdall's shoulders, making sure it won't fall off.

"father I can dress myself-"

"I know. That is not why I'm doing this."

-  Heimdall and Atreus having to go somewhere in Midgard while it's winter. Atreus sprints ahead, Heimdall doesn't think much of it

Until a snowball hits him right in the chest.

Cue a gasp from both Heimdall and Atreus.

Heimdall slowly turning to Atreus who is about to start celebrating for being able to hit him but stops as he sees Heimdall's face. Just as he's about to apologize to his brother, Heimdall grabs his chest with a loud and very dramatic groan, falling to the floor even more dramatically.

Atreus is scared first, thinking something actually happened, but when he realises what Heimdall is doing he grins and runs back over, falling to his knees with a loud "nooooo! My dearest brother!"

Drama club mode activated as they act out how Heimdall is dying as Heimdall sneakily grabs a fistful of snow and throwing it in Atreus' face.

Atreus, who was very into character, splutters for a second and Heimdall takes the opportunity to swiftly get up and grab as much snow as he can to throw at the younger one.

They end up having a whole snowball fight and having to go home immediately after from how soaked their clothes are.

- Freya making Heimdall help with collecting ingredients for a spell. When he comes back with what she needs, she kisses his forehead and thanks him. Heimdall is stunned for a bit but wipes his forehead before grumpily walking away

Heimdall offers his help more often to Freya after that tho

- Heimdall refusing to use his bifrost arm whenever doing most things that require 2 hands, he'd rather rely on someone else since he knows he needs to learn how to work with others

- also Heimdall: uses said bifrost arm just to make his gestures more dramatic while talking

- Baldur and Heimdall getting super drunk together one night, the whole group funding out that they're the giggly type of drunks

- Atreus starts making a lot of friends around villages, towns and trading caravans in Midgard and beyond. The parties he throws are even more grand than what Odin used to do.

Heimdall hates it at first, but Atreus insists on him sticking around every time. Slowly but surely he actually starts enjoying parties, he'll just leave the dancing to Atreus.

- Heimdall, Baldur and Tyr try to fix their relationship. Tyr suggests just drinking tea and talking, both Heimdall and Baldur are a bit skeptic at first but start enjoying the routine of going over to Tyr for tea.

They convince Thrud to let them take Mjulnir with them, so Thor is included in some way still.

- speaking of Thor; they made a small gravesite for the friends and family they've lost. Heimdall goes to Thor's a lot to leave food he made or just to talk, even if he isn't sure if his brother knows.

[absolutebl]

I’ve got some friends coming over next weekend and they have never seen a single BL but want to watch an episode… I’d like to show them a Thai BL but it will have to be only the first episode (unless they get sucked in, ha ha!)

What do you think would be a good first episode - I’m thinking maybe Bad Buddy, 2gether or Cutie Pie?

Good First Episode Thai BLs - for non-BL watchers

Hum well I don't know your friends and their taste, that makes a difference. Are they geeky? Are they more mainstream romance types?

Recommending a BL is like recommending a book outside of someone’s preferred reading genre, you gotta give them an entry point. Pick the BL that suits their existing taste the most. So if they like suspense/crime thrillers then Not Me, 3 Will Be Free, Long Time No See, or Manner of Death. That kind of thing. 

But, first off...

Do not do 2gether. Green’s shrieking and the companion serious punching down humor of those first eps make this show a really really hard buy in. It’s ANNOYING AF. I know because it took me 3 tries to make it through the first 1/3 of that show, and I LIKE BL. 

Cutie Pie has SUCH an absurd premise than unless your friends are fans of classic romance with strong tropes, maybe not that one either. 

Ones that I Suggest - based on first episode ALONE 

honestly first eps are not Thai BLs strong point, sigh, so I struggled with this one  

Bad Buddy - I was skeptical going in and absolutely instantly sold on the first ep. I think this is probubly my top choice. 

Love By Chance - AePete’s meet cute is one of the best ever put on screen, but there is Pond and the masterbation, but also AEPETE! They are just so genuine and soft with each other, its hard not to love them they moment they meet. But then if your friends want to keep watching, you got a lot of ‘splain to do. 

2 Moons 2 - an odd choice perhaps, but such a classic, that first ep just sets EVERYTHING up so well. Also it’s like prime Thai style BL. But, another one where, because of the ending it’s kinda not the best if they do want to keep watching. 

Oxygen - the first ep is a little slow going but I found it both addictive and comforting, at the time it was airing I must have rewatched it half a dozen times, but the rest of the show is also kinda slow. 

I’d consider My Ride too, it is a pulp, but it’s also sweet, but it’s also not really a  typical BL. 

If they have no triggers:

Until We Meet Again - it’s rough but that first ep will absolutely SUCK you in, it might set narrative expectations of the genre too high tho

A Tale of Thousand Stars - same thing as above, but the cast and premise carries quite a bit, and this is one where if they get into it there’s no flagging or issues or ANYTHING, it’s a damn good romance that just happens to be BL 

SOTUS - yeah yeah but the first ep is glorious and very engaging, and I don’t have issues with this series like many others do 

HOWEVER 

The Best 1st Episode BLs 

Honestly, for a pure laymen, knowing nothing else about these strangers, I would actually avoid Thai BL entirely. 

I’d put on Semantic Error. I feel safe showing pretty much anyone this show. And it’s a perfect introduction to the genre. 

I might reach for Restart After Come Back Home for someone into cinema. 

If they are geeky (SF/F types) then Cherry Magic or maybe even Color Rush. 

If they are big Kdrama and/or YA fans? Light On Me. 

If they like indie or modern queer cinema then Gameboys or See You After Quarantine? 

I might even go for a Strongberry short if I just wanted to give a genre sample, like A First Love Story or Some More. 

It’s me, so with a hair warning, I’m also likely to pop on Seven Days. Especially with someone familiar with anime or Japan’s style in general. 

Okay I hope this helps! 

(source) 

[crystalcow]

𝑆𝑎𝑝𝑛𝑎𝑝𝑠 𝐶ℎ𝑖𝑙𝑑 // 𝑆𝑎𝑝𝑛𝑎𝑝 𝑝𝑡 2

Masterlist // part one // part three

Sapnap x reader !p !child reader

Pronouns used: none specified!

warnings: death, swearing

»» ──────ஓ๑��๑ஓ ────── ««

┍━━━━━━♔━━━━━━┑

Being sapnaps child will include..

┕━━━━━━♔━━━━━━┙

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝗼𝐟 𝐚𝐧 𝐞𝐫𝐚

You watched from the trees as the new people entered the smp

They didn’t look exactly right

Especially the one with the beanie

You accidentally fell down the tree

The other one with the horns helped you up, sending you a wink

“You must be really Fallin for me darlin”

“I’m 13” “never mind then”

“Y/n, glad to see you’ve met the new citizens of the smp”

You scowled at Wilbur

Glaring at the weirdly abnormally tall man

“No, and id rather not frankly enough”

Yeah you got your dads sass for sure

“This is Quackity and Schlatt, a very old friend of mine”

You could tell why they were friends

“Say, why don’t you take a detox around Lmanburg? I bet Tommy and Tubbo miss you lots”

Tho you did want to see your friends people?

You were skeptical and were quick to deny

“Yeah, I think I’m good. See you around tho”

Therefore you made your way back home not ready for the news next

So when you found out they were holding a damn election

“Oh for fucks sakes, we just ended the damn war”

Your father just looked at you from the couch next to you with his brows raised

“And you learned that language from where?”

“Do you have to ask?”

He shrugged ruffling your hair

So he just snatched the paper from your hand and took off his bandana

“Am I reading this right?”

“I don’t know papa, you never shown the need for glasses”

He just stared at the flier as I peeked over his shoulder again

“George!”

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝗼𝐧

George had spent some time explaining the situation barely paying attention

“You know I’m just there to support Quackity, plus dream thinks it’s a good idea.”

You didn’t like the sound of the name “Quackity” but understood a little more

“So uncle dream just wants to use you for Lmanburgs power?” “Exactly”

You were walking down the prime path just causally

Passing by some old things, planning on just spending time at Tommy’s summer home uninvited

“N/N!”

Speak of the gremlin

He was just running to you, hat flung across

“Your very un athletic, try running more.”

So he just excused your small comment throwing a stack of buttons in your arm

“Your gonna advertise for me!” “No”

He rolled his eyes sitting down on the wooden path

“I’m desperate, plus you have connections around the smp. I can’t loose this”

“But you know George is running too, I have to support him”

He groaned laying his head back

So you decided to join him on the ground

It was strangely comfortable

“But he’s running with that duck man! Come on, we love you around the burgs.”

“Never call it that again” “you can’t tell me what to do you little shit”

After an hour of just constant begging you finally agreed

So you dragged him back to your house and found the old jacket

It surprisingly fit

So you and Tommy went around the whole smp (avoiding your family)

Giving out buttons and trying to convince people to vote for Pog 2020

That was until the next day

You were just burning some old papers in the community house until you were dragged out by someone

“Little Flame we need you.”

You were thrown a stack of fliers campaigning for swag 2020

“If we wanna win we have to do some work”

You were still tired from yesterday but hauled along none the less

So you went around the smp once again but this time campaigning for a different party???

Everyone thought you were a little crazy

“Weren’t you here yesterday with Tommy?”

“No. Now shut up and vote please”

The day finally came

After a week of campaigning and helping decorate the whole election hall

You sat in the back with sapnap, looking at dream who stood in the corner

Anxiously looking around for George

Where the hell was he??

You shot pog 2020 a thumbs up once Wilbur started calling out names

“Before the votes were called I was informed that swag 2020 and schaltt 2020 would combine their votes. Leaving them beating POG 2020 by 1%”

Frankly enough you were a little upset considering you had done a lot of work

But you were definitely outraged at the next words to come out of schlatts mouth

“I revoke the citizenship of Tommy Innit and Wilbur Soot!”

And then Tubbo was made his right hand man

You had just gotten your friends back

And now this man just taken that away from you too??

You couldn’t give two shits about Wilbur tho

Scoffing before leaving the election hall

But this isn’t your battle to fight

𝐄𝐱𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐜

Yeah so Wilbur was dead (thank goodness)

Lmanburg was blown up

Tubbos president

And your dads been spending a lot less time with you now??

Everything felt so fucked up but perfect at the same time

Oh and there was an enderman with memory loss that you had just grown fond of

Except he doesn’t know you?

Dreams been more and more pissed recently so you couldn’t even go to him anymore

Then you were called into erets castle one day

Yeah no it wasn’t erets castle anymore

“George your king now, N/n spend time with him.”

That whole thing came as a whole cannon

“Do I get a crown?” “Yeah yeah whatever”

You weren’t sent away with George so dream knew you wouldn’t get in trouble

Knowingly enough

That crown fell right off your head

And it was all thanks to tommy

So you him and ender boy had the greatest idea of burning down George’s house!

Ofcourse you fuckers got caught

“Flame what the hell did you do!”

“I did nothing I swear! My hands are clean”

“Then who the fuck burnt down George’s house?” “I’m not the only arsonist!”

You were pissed at your dad

You haven’t seen him in days and now he decides to pay attention to you??

Maybe you should burn down shit more often

“They’re holding a trial, and if I find out your guilty-“

“You’ll what? Send me off into the nether, abandon me? I’m used to that already”

Sapnap was shocked to hear those words as you stormed out of the community house

You two haven’t gotten in many fights ever

There you were in a jail cell with the two other children

“I really don’t want to die yet, I’m too young”

Your dramatic ass couldn’t handle the pressure

Never trust tommy.

Long story short

Ranboo was off the hook, Tommy’s getting exiled, and your going to get executed

I’m just joking they wouldn’t never execute you

But your on probation

𝐏𝐫𝗼𝐛𝐚𝐭𝐢𝗼𝐧

Tommy got exiled and dream hates you now

You never thought it’d be possible

But it was!

Therefore you were forced to meet your dads boyfriends

Did I mention that he never told you about this?

boyfriends. Not one but two!

One of them was the other guy you didn’t like and a strange dude obsessed with the time

“Flame meet my boyfriends, Karl and Quackity.”

“I’m going to talk to uncle Dream about my probation, I’m going to exile with Tommy.”

Karl was a little hurt to why you were so cold

Quackity didn’t think you still hated him so it came off a bit abrupt

“Did I do something?” “No Karl, they just need some time alright.”

Time?! Did your dad just say fucking time?

No what you needed was a cold hard nap and to get away from this shit

So when nobody was looking you decided to jump out of the window

Yeah that wast such a good choice since you just landed in the water now soaked

“Did you really this that would work?”

You glared are Quackity who was hollaring

“You know kid, me and Karl’s gonna be around for a long time. Atleast give him a chance if your not ready to forgive me.”

That wasn’t gonna happen

So you booked it

You ran through the smp with soaked clothes, tripping on a rock and landing on something hard

Oh well that’s dreams chest

“Y/n what the hell are you doing here? Arent you supposed to be on probation”

“TAKE ME TO EXILE”

You just raised your hands out to be cuffed as you screamed those words

Those around looked very concerned

“No, I’m getting sapnap stay here.”

Then he realized to not trust the 15 year old arsonist

“Actually you know what, let’s take you to exile.”

You were shocked for some reason happy

“Really?”

“No! Now go inside and dry yourself, I’ll tell Sap your with me.”

You pouted doing as you were told

Following around the green man for the rest of the day

“Wanna visit Tommy?”

You instantly perked up

“Finally someone I like!” You patted him on the back

“You are seriously such an annoying kid”

“Die.” “What?” “Nothing.”

Tommy was more then static of having you with him

“N/n you’re here!”

You were worried when he brought you in a hug, his stuff in a hole

“You good there buddy?” “Totally!”

You didn’t believe him but shrugged it off anyways

Wilbur was also there.. yeah that was displeasing

Wait what the fuck isn’t he dead

“Your Y/n right? Hi I’m ghostbur!”

You tried stabbing him with a stick

“BE GONE EVIL SPIRIT!”

That didn’t really work he just laughed handing you some blue

Lets just say ghosty was better then Wilby in your opinion

You were sad to leave Tommy after not seeing him for so long

“Cmon we have to get you back to your dad and the rest of them”

“Screw you” “Language” “what are you grandpa bad?”

Your dad was none the less furious when you came back

“I was worried sick! Hell kid, I couldn’t loose you.”

So you just brought him into a hug

Then Karl came running into the room at the sound of your voice

“There you are! I looked for you around the whole smp, come one we got dinner.”

You were shocked none the less

Okay so maybe timeless and duck man weren’t the worst

Didn’t mean you didn’t trust them fully

Yet

»» ──────ஓ๑ꨄ๑ஓ ────── ««

WHEN DID THIS GET SO LONG?? Okay yeah I’m cutting it to three parts which is posted now- I’m sorry but yeah

As always! Ask or request anything and ask if you want to be on a taglist!

[sugamamacustard]

Come see me

Pairing: Alpha! Tetsuro Kuroo X Omega! Reader

Genre: Minor Angst, but other than that, fluffy cuddle piles. 

Request: Hi kinda nervous to request this since I'm very shy but..Is it okay to request a scenario where omega reader is feeling very insecure and jealous after idk like some new person comes in the pack and everyone is paying attention to them and reader feels very neglected but keeps quiet, starts spending more time with their friends and avoids the pack and their alpha. And then the pack plus alpha notices and drags reader back, and reassures them, and the entire pack cuddles and hug reader. Kinda like angst to fluff. Could be any team and any alpha. Though I prefer kuroo and nekoma. Sorry if it's too long I've always wanted an imagine like this. You don't have to do it if you don't wanna tho! I was just asking :)Have a good day💜

Summary:  Being a manager for Nekoma was a thankless job, but one you were proud to do. You were surrounded by alphas who wanted what was best for you and in turn, you wanted what was best for them. However, sometimes what’s best for them...may not be best for you or your omega.

Warnings: Jealous omega! reader, reader almost goes into an omega depression, small angst,

Author’s Note: No need to be shy, darling! This is my first request for this blog so I’m super excited to write this and to fulfill my first request.!

Requests: Open!

Tetsuro Kuroo

➵ Originally, the idea of another manager for the Nekoma team excited you.

➵ You were really pumped to have an extra set of hands on board to help keep scores, or pick up balls, or put up and take down nets. 

➵ To have someone else to joke and laugh with on the sidelines while Yaku was yelling at Lev, or to assist you in prying Kenma’s switch from his hands so he can eat.

➵ Having another manager seemed like such a good idea. A new friend for the pack. 

➵ Until it wasn’t. 

➵ Ichika was a kind and sweet girl in class 2-B (You were in 2-D), and originally you and her got along well.

➵ Your omega didn’t outright hate her, more of an indifference, and your personalities melded well together.

➵ And from what you’ve heard from her friends, she talked about the boys on the volleyball team a lot.

➵ So you figured she would be a good fit. 

➵ However, you weren’t certain on it anymore.

➵ Maybe she was too good of a fit. 

➵ ‘You’re being silly’ You told yourself. 

➵ ‘She’s getting to know the team, that’s all’ You practically chanted in your head like a mantra.

➵ ‘She’s honing in on our pack. Our alpha.’ Your omega sneered, padding in a circle before flopping down, growling lowly.  You tried reminding her that Kuroo was nothing more than a captain. 

➵ An attractive captain who who you found yourself finding every opportunity in the book to talk too. But that was fine print. 

➵ He was not your alpha. He was the commanding alpha of the volleyball team, but not yours. 

➵ And maybe that was what hurt most. Knowing you had Zero claim on anyone in the pack, therefore you had no right to demand the attention.

➵ They gave their attention to who they wanted. 

➵ Even if nowadays, it seemed to be Ichika more and more often then not. 

➵ It hurt, when you both would be sitting on the sidelines and Inuoka would brush right past you to chat with Ichika.

➵ Or when you both would be passing out towels and water bottles and they only thanked her. 

➵ It began hurting to the point you had to bite down whines or whimpers. Your omega was upset, therefore you were even more upset. But they seemed happy,

➵ Who were you to ruin that? 

➵ Just because you saw them as pack, doesn’t mean they saw you in the same light. 

➵ You tried pushing away that god awful thought, but it was planted and nothing was moving it. 

➵ And whether you noticed it or not, you were acting on that thought.

➵ You didn’t stay after practice for anyone, instead cleaning up quickly and efficiently while the boys were in the change room. 

➵ Leaving behind your notes for that day’s practice along with the gym keys right in front of the door. 

➵ You didn’t wait for anyone and took a different way home so no-one would try to walk with you.

➵ You needed to separate from them, even if it hurt. Even if you cried on the way home. Even if you stayed in your nest from the minute you got home to the minute you had to leave for school the next day.

➵ Even if your meals got smaller and smaller. 

➵ You never sat with the team anymore, Ichika taking your spot like she belonged there. 

➵ Instead you sat with a group of friends from your class. They never asked any questions, which you were thankful for. 

➵ You began wearing scent blocking patches to hide your scent, hide the sour note that almost always accompanied it. 

➵ You just...tried to disappear. You still fulfilled your manager duties as you always did, but never more. 

➵ Never gave words of encouragement. No pointers on how to improve. No jokes on Lev’s behalf. No nothing. 

➵ And holy shit, that Irked Kuroo. 

➵ He was always so excited for practices at the end of the day because that was when he would get to show off in front of you. 

➵ Prove he was a strong alpha. 

➵ He would admit, he liked you...A lot. He was even working on a future courting gift (It was a bracelet with intricate beading that looked almost like a cuff) but was having a few difficulties so couldn’t gift it to you yet.

➵ However, you were pulling away. 

➵ Away from him. Away from the pack. Just away. 

➵ You barely even glanced their way anymore.

➵ During practice, you just sat there, completed homework, then took notes. He never saw you after that.

➵ He tried to pack up as fast as he possibly could at the end of practice but was always late. You were always, without fail, gone. No trace of you ever being there except the notes you left in your wake with the keys. 

➵ His alpha kept barking at him to stop you. To come up with any excuse to keep you here long enough for him to walk you home in the very least. But you were always gone.

➵ He tried everything, but you seemed one step ahead of him. 

➵ His alpha blamed Ichika. Ever since she showed up you began pulling away.

➵ Were you jealous? Were you angry with them for trying to keep her away?

➵ They only put up with her because it was obvious you didn’t like her. So they tried keeping her away. 

➵ Was that backfiring on them? 

➵ Kuroo didn’t even know why there was another manager. You were perfect for them. Like a puzzle piece. Their personal cheerleader. 

➵ Maybe school was piling on you?

➵ No. You always went to him for help.

➵ Maybe the duties were too much?

➵ No because you were still doing them all.

➵ Come to think of it, what was Ichika even doing? 

➵ She did nothing except fawn over them and purr over their skills, which was nice for the ego boost at first, but soon just got annoying when she tried scenting them.

➵ It seemed she was fixated on him especially, trying to rub her neck all over him only for him to push her off with a growl. He had only scented two people in his life. 

➵ Kenma, because he needed the practice, and you, which was why he practiced. 

➵ And he planned to keep it that way. 

➵ But you were still staying away. So he scented no one. 

➵ The final straw was a Friday practice. 

➵ You were sitting a ways a way in the corner, doing your work with your jacket wrapped in front of you like a boundary. 

➵ His heart hurt at the thought of you feeling the need to recluse yourself like this.

➵ He made a motion to Kenma, his co-commanding alpha, who nodded before making his way to you. 

➵ As he should’ve predicted, Ichika intercepted him. She tried to hug him, but he dodged, side stepping and trying to get to you, but she persisted.

➵ “Why don’t you give me the same attention you give her, huh? Rumor has it she’s been bordering on dropping for days, nothing but attention seeking in my humble opinion.”

➵   He paused in his efforts, looking down to her once more.

➵ “I’m sorry?” 

➵ Ichika rolled her eyes. “It’s been all over school. Surprised you haven’t heard. She skips lunch more often than not, nowadays. People have even started bets as to when she finally drops. Real shame though. Gonna miss having someone else do all the work.”

➵ You were missing lunches. Lunches were meals he could guarantee you ate, and you suddenly weren’t doing so anymore. He was failing you.

➵ You were dropping right under their noses and as your pack they were watching it happen. 

➵ As your head alpha, and hopefully future alpha, he was watching you drift away and ultimately fade from him.

➵ He was watching this happen?!

➵ What part of this was okay?! None of it. 

➵ He was loosing you. Hell, if he hadn’t lost you already. 

➵ No. You were here, at school, He still had time. He still had a chance. He still had- his jacket and bento. 

➵  Turning tail, the alpha made his way to his bag, digging out the bento (Come to think of it, he hadn’t been eating much since this whole debacle started anyway) and grabbing his jacket before making his way to you once more.

➵ He didn’t pay any mind to Ichika, this time fully shoving past her to get to you. 

➵ You looked up to him skeptically, watching as the alpha, the head alpha, bent to lay on his knees, slowly putting the bento on his jacket and sliding it in front of you. 

➵ Your heart and mind were going a mile a minute as you watched the commanding fucking alpha of the pack, bow to you. Ask for your permission to get close to you. 

➵ What-

➵ “Hi?”

➵ Kuroo said nothing in return, only lowering his chin to the ground, looking up to you. Almost waiting for you to allow him closer. 

➵ When you said nothing he motioned towards the bento with a nod of his head. He was almost like a pup with how minimal his actions were. 

➵ When you slowly took the bento, he raised in time with the box, watching you open it. when you popped a small bit of rice into your mouth. He purred loudly, slowly inching closer. He laid his jacket over yours, adding another layer to your barrier, which you slowly moved to allow him in. 

➵ He crawled into your space, slowly moving your books and bag to nuzzle into your neck. You allowed him to, eating more rice-- which seemed to appease him. 

➵ One by one, more of the teammates came by, offering their jackets to your now makeshift nest, joining in on the cuddle pile. 

➵ All but Ichika, who seemed to angrily stomp about while cleaning up the few stray volleyballs. 

➵ But you didn’t really care about her at this point. 

➵ Your omega was at peace, especially with the alpha you’ve been pinning after purring into your neck, scenting you and pressing small kisses to your neck.

➵ This was your pack. Your home.

➵ And they wouldn’t let you fall behind. 

[whoree321]

the bad batch + what romance/rom com movies they watch with you

each of the bad batch x gn!reader

ok first and foremost i really truly believe to the pits of my soul that every single one of these fuckos loves romances and you cannot under any circumstances change my mind

ALSO it’s a gender neutral reader except kinda in echo’s theres like a very brief quote regarding breasts but like i still think even that is pretty gender neutral tbh

so anyway

Hunter: Pretty Woman

this is not the first time that i have publicly declared that i think hunter has a deep rooted connection to the movie pretty woman and it will not be the last

first of all this movie is incredibly soothing to hunters overwhelming savior complex

second of all hunter is literally richard gere (debonaire but emotionally distant gentleman that learns to love) and julia roberts (hooker with a heart of gold) at the same time

he was a little skeptical the first time you put it on but he instantly fell in love with it

the humor, the sensuality, the class divide, the glamour, the unconventional cinderella story of it all. it just really butters his bread

after the first time, when you suggest watching a movie and you pick this one he’ll act very aloof about it (“whatever you want cyar’ika, it doesn’t matter to me”) but secretly he’s really really happy bc it’s one of his favorites (you def know this and def pick it more often)

he absolutely hates the scene when stucky the lawyer hits vivian. like it doesn’t matter how many times he watches it he will fully turn his head away from the screen and say “I don’t like this part” and when it’s over he nuzzles a little closer into you and very tenderly kisses your forehead

he loves the soundtrack too. like he fully exposes how much he likes the movie when you catch him singing or humming “pretty woman” or “it must have been love” absently to himself (you kept it to yourself for a while but eventually you just had to tease him about it. he just smiled a little sheepishly and admitted he liked the songs before promptly changing the subject)

hunter also lowkey definitely wants to recreate the ending where richard gere shows up to her apartment in the white limo with you bc he thinks it’s such a sweet gesture and he wants to treat you like royalty

Crosshair: 10 Things I Hate About You

if there’s one thing about crosshair it’s that he’s a sucker for the enemies to lovers genre

maybe its just him projecting (spoiler alert it most certainly is) but he really enjoys watching the drama conflama of a miserable bastard be tricked into love

and really that’s the true essence of 10 Things I Hate About You

he will grumble and bitch and moan about not wanting to watch a ‘chick flick’ when you put it on, but 15 minutes in and he’s hooked

he has strong negative opinions on literally every single character except for kat and patrick

(crosshair really really wants to think he’s patrick but when it comes down to it he is katarina stratford in every single possible way)

he doesn’t say a word throughout the entire movie but you can tell when he’s annoyed at like bianca or cameron or joey bc he will openly scoff at them

will absolutely hum along in your ear during the “can’t take my eyes off you” scene and make out with you during the paintball scene

(seriously he wants to be patrick verona so bad)

when it’s over and you ask him what he thought he’ll roll his eyes and say “i guess it could have been worse” but his little smirk let’s you know he enjoyed it a lot more than he’s willing to admit

Tech: 50 Shades of Grey

ok hear me out on this one

tech is a huge movie talker. like subtitles are a non-negotiable if you wanna be able to take in any of the movies dialogue bc tech is most likely gonna make commentary over it the whole time

this makes him absolutely indescribably so much fun to watch bad/corny movies with

he will go off about EVERYTHING. the plot, the dialogue, the acting, the costuming, the music, the production quality. nothing and no one is safe. whether you just enjoy letting him talk at you or you join in on the roast, cheesy movies are a hoot between you two

and honey. 50 shades is one of THE cheesiest movies ever

you and tech will literally spend the entire duration of the movie tearing it to shreds

and the thing is tech is a very sarcastic, funny guy when he wants to be (and when it comes to you he definitely wants to be) so by the end of it he will have you in absolute stitches from laughing at the ridiculousness of both the movie and him

with any of the other batchers watching a movie like this either turns into a shy, slightly awkward experience (wrecker, echo) or an incorrigibly horny experience (crosshair, hunter)

but in this context tech literally has no shame or squeamishness about sexual things (why should he it’s a natural biological process?) so to yall the sex stuff is just another thing to roast

literally christian grey could be fully tying dakota johnson down and flogging her and tech will be like “in the last 3 minutes they have panned up to her nipples 4 times. this is criminally shoddy cinematography”

even tho he’s busy giving a detailed play by play critique, he never fails to keep some sort of physical contact with you (wrapping an arm around you and running his hand up and down your skin, playing with your fingers or your hair) so you know he’s enjoying spending this time with you despite his nasty words about the movie

also 1000% after you watch it tech will do extensive research on the ins and outs of bdsm and will have lots of hypotheses he wants to test out (as long as you’re willing and able ofc) ;)))

Wrecker: 13 Going On 30

of all the bad batch members, wrecker is the only one who unabashedly loves any movie that could be considered a chick flick

like he doesn’t even try to hide it or act like he’s too masculine for it. he loves romance and he’s proud of it

this man will have full marathons with you. rom coms, regular roms, tragic roms, hallmark roms, you name it and he’s game

his absolute favorite tho is 13 Going On 30

i feel like he has a huge soft spot for childhood best friends to lovers stories like he finds that type of lifelong partnership so endearing (and he loves to live vicariously through jenna since that type of romance was obviously never an option for him)

wrecker is also very childlike at heart and i think the idea of a 13 year old sweetheart trapped inside the body of a 30 year old cut throat magazine exec is so amusing to him (and maybe makes him feel just a little bit represented in the media)

he is definitely the type to completely engulf you in a cuddle for the entirety of the movie and he DEFINITELY cries into your shoulder at matty’s wedding when jenna is crying on the stoop with her dream house

he wants to try razzles so bad. like so bad. i think if he ever came across them somewhere he would barter at least one of his brothers for them

wrecker really just loves love and watching movies about it just reminds him of how lucky he is to have his own love story with you <3

Echo: The Princess Bride

i feel like it’s glaringly obvious why echo loves this movie

pirates. sword fighting. decades long revenge plots. the value of an honorable, loyal man. true love that never wavers even in the face of devastating tragedy and the darkest of hardships. clever but goofy humor.

echo considers this an action/adventure movie and NOT a romance movie (even tho it 100% totally is a romance movie) and requests to watch it very frequently

he can quote the whole thing. i’m seriously telling you echo loves the princess bride with his whole chest

even tho he refuses to admit it’s a love story above all else, he really does try to model himself in your relationship after wesley

like especially given what happened at the citadel and all the time you thought he was dead, the cinematic parellels are alive and present in y’alls relationship and he strives to be even half the man to you that wesley is to buttercup

literally in your day to day life he will sometimes respond to your requests with a smooth “as you wish ;)” (it doesn’t matter how many times he does it it still gives you butterflies)

when you watch the movie, he snuggles as close to you as possible and does his best to make youre comfy the whole time (he’s insecure about his prosthetics hurting you no matter how much you reassure him they don’t)

he just loves to be able to feel your heartbeat and your laugh when you giggle at the funny bits

every single time without fail at the part when buttercup is about to stab herself he leans down, ghosts his lips against the shell of your ear, and whispers the line in time with wesley: “there’s a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. it would be a pity to damage yours”

every single time without fail you wind up making out until he pulls away and tells you to watch the next part when wesley challenges humperdinck to a duel to the pain

echo just loves you to bits and wants you to know he’d endure a thousand fire swamps for you

Omega: Clueless

i have this really specific obsession with omega being a total girly girl and having very traditionally feminine interests as she keeps experiencing the universe and being exposed to a spectrum of gender expression beyond clone (masc and boring) and kaminoan (ugly)

so with that headcanon of her in mind, it’s vital to me that she sees clueless as soon as possible

clueless is an essential piece of media for a girl entering adolescence and i will die on this hill

it has literally everything you want and everything you need to develop into a well-rounded young woman

it’s so deliciously 90s and glamorama and valley girl humor and camp. its got meaningful female friendships and valuable life lessons and paul mf rudd

if there’s one thing you should encourage a burgeoning hetero teen girl to do, it’s to stick to dating guys like paul rudd in clueless. the earlier this message can be broadcast the better

the second you’re able to steal omega away from hunters watchful eyes (“hunter we’re just gonna watch finding nemo i swear!”) you show her this movie

at this point omega is not really a girly girl, but omega also has absolutely zero feminine influence in her life

the first time she sees clueless she is absolutely obsessed. like seriously she is so enamoured with the glitz and glam of cher horowitz

she asks you questions the entire time. she wants to know about EVERYTHING. the makeup, the clothes, the hair, the slang

(she definitely goes around saying stuff like “i’m totally bugging” for long enough afterwards that almost all of the boys have slipped up at least once with some ridiculous valley girl slang. you thought you were gonna die of laughter when you overheard tech say “as if!” to wrecker in the middle of an argument)

it just really introduces her to this whole world of femininity that she didn’t even know existed and she absolutely loves it

she makes you watch clueless with her seriously once a week at minimum. she begs you to style her hair like tai’s and you can’t help yourself when you happen to run across a little yellow plaid dress and buy it for her on sight

(hunter was gonna scold you for recklessly spending credits until he saw how omega almost cried from how happy she was for the gift)

honestly she enjoys the romance of it all and paul rudd is def her first celebrity crush but she enjoys more that you and her now have this special thing of hair and nails and pretty dresses

she loves how confident and beautiful and special you’re able to make her feel, and you love that you get to bring her that small sense of normalcy and happiness

[bl-recs-and-reviews]

GMMtv2023 - Stray thoughts

In the end i decided to put it all togetther in a post instead of spamming everybody xD

First of all, I see GMMtv learned from this year and has discovered the usefulness of “coming soon” instead of giving a date

Did they really had people waiting for an hour and a half until they got started with the live??? seriously??

Enigma... Mmmm... I don’t think I’ll have the time to watch it but I appreciate dangerously hot Win,depending on when it comes out I might check it out

Is it just me or does Book’s face seem different in A Boss and a Babe?? Looks cute. I’m not too sold on that one, it’ll depend on how they do it. But it’s a BL so I’ll have to check it out ;D

Oooof course it was fucking P’New xD 

I love me an age gap relationship if it’s well done. Especially is she’s older. 

Some of the non BL shows are a appealing I have to admit

I love Ohm but idk if I’m behind the whole concept of brothers betraying each other and whatnot, it looks intense, so for the crime loving people it might be a good treat ;)

Hidden Agenda looks cute, I’m intrigued but the slapstick comedy might take me out. The plot gives me 2gether vibes tho

MILKLOVE FTW!!!!! I LOVE THEM!!! IT LOOKS AMAZING AND PERFECT AND BEAUTIFUL AND LADFHADFJAÑDSFJUADLSFA

I already knew they were gonna have a show but omg it’s so satisfying to see the confirmation

 OffGun?!??!?!?!?! Why do you have a show???? cute tho, I love sleep deprived Off, he’s shinning more and more each year

notice how I’m starting to skip the straights? xD

Wednesday Club, looks cool. And I’m a middle child so it’s calling me. Also Jane, Phuwin, Ohm, etc. Sign me up (we’ll still have to see if I watch it in its entierity)

Last Twilight, YES! This is the kind of story that I want from you GMMtv! Give me diversity of plots, heck yeah. Honestly it looks amazing. I can’t wait for this one. 

YES, of course, it could only be P’Aof’s idea. lol. This makes so much sense now xD

Loneliness Society has me curious about it

Only Friends has come to bring the drama, and the assholes that you can’t help but love and I WANT IT. Also having a full gay Friendzone is giving me life xD

Of course, it souldn’t be a gmmtv year if we didn’t have P’Jojo doing drama

So I really appreciate it , thank you for doing the lord’s work

Also Jennie looks gorgeous

I was skeptical about the whole PerthChimon are gonna have a BL, but I like to be proven wrong. This is looking great and they’re good actors so I think it’s gonna be good. I’m excited!

TayNew Cherry Magic?? We’ll see how that goes

And I gotta say I really like the annoucement of Our Skyy 2

I feel like we deserve this treat

Thank you very much

For a second I thought we were gonna get OhmNanon doing thir characters from ViceVersa but I’m glad it’s PatPran

It looks like it’s gonna be cute in general

Props to the director of that video, it looks great

Anyway, those are my overall thoughts. I’m excited for the shows we didn’t get yet and the ones that are coming. Hopefully they keep on getting better

[funkymbtifiction]

Hi! 😊 thanks to your tip in my past ask, I was able to figure out my enneagram and tritype. So, I’d like to ask your opinion about a few things I’m a bit skeptical about: I’m an INTJ - I’ve tried taking the test hundreds times, especially because I had doubts about actually being an ENTJ instead, yet the result never even wavered...

Tests are notoriously unreliable and hand out NJ conclusions like a candy dispenser, but if your results are always the same due to your internal consistency, that suggest you do use Ni in some capacity. The only real way to be sure is to study the functions (although reading what you wrote, I suspect inferior Se is correct).

... and over time I also noticed that my Ni is stronger than Te, thus doubts gone out the window - and as for enneagram and tritype, I’m positive I’m a 3w4-6-8 social, 3w4 being my core. Is this combination of MBTI and tritype really as rare as it seems? I wondered, once again, if my MBTI was correct, since this tritype appears to be more common in E types, especially ESTJ. Could you enlighten me about this combination?

3w4 INTJ is quite normal, if a bit more assertive than a lot of them tend to be, but 3 + Ni or Te goes together, since both are all about visualizing goals and working toward them. There's quite a few fictional characters of this core combination. Basically, hard-working, ambitious, goal-oriented, productive and proactive in handling problems (you're not one to procrastinate about getting what you want). Just as an example, the 3 I know hasn't been sitting on her thumbs waiting for "supply line issues" to resolve themselves; she's been calling around to find local replacements or new places to buy what she needs, so she can keep her business thriving).

The 368 is pretty aggressive, so yeah a bit weird for an INTJ, but nothing so nuts that I'd go "lol sure" (378 won't be INTJ, IMO).

Also, if I may add a second question, I’m usually super confident in myself and my skills. I know I can get and achieve everything I want and put my mind to, but at times I doubt myself a lot, hesitating in making choices and wondering if I’ll actually be able to achieve any of my goals and carry out what I want to do until the end, or if I’ll be as appreciated as I want to be and adored as I expect. Is that the influence of the 6? Could it be considered a phobic 6, then?

It's also related to inferior Se concerns -- not wanting to move or take any risks until you are SURE that this grand vision is going to happen the way you want, because spending all those months or years thinking about it and making it exact in your head would lead to a terrible disappointment if you couldn't have it.

And my being a little more extroverted than your usual INTJ, is it because of the 3 and the social stance?

Yes, that would explain it. Tho I think most people are on a sliding scale of introversion > extroversion.

Ok, I think I’m done ahaha thanks for reading until here and thanks for all the useful info you share here and on your website, they’re very interesting and informative 🙇🏻‍♀️

Glad you find it helpful. :)

[black-coffee-and-sugar]

God where do I even begin on 6x10? Random assortment of thoughts:

- I suppose it was Nia's turn to fuck up badly but she's so innocent about it I can't even be mad

- that PSA was hilarious but what's even funnier is the show trying to convince me that it's viewership is so high because of the message and not because of how awkward SG looked in it. Gen Z's are making TikToks out of that shit.

- also thinking about Nate from Legends screaming: I LIKE BROCCOLI!!!

- Kelly and Alex sparring? Give me that any day

- "get me on the ground" where was my chest to chest, panting in each other's faces and then full on macking and groping scene? Where was it?!?!?

- J'onn was pretty much useless in this episode

- Andrea made a 1 minute appearance but fuck did she imprint an image into my brain in that blouse. Holy shit

- can I just say that I'm actually digging the reporter colleague dynamic of William and Kara?

- but also I'm missing Kara being the wise sensei mentoring her student Nia. Like did the show forget that reporting was where Kara first started mentoring Nia? Not superhero shit!

- Orlando's speech was honestly the best part of this episode

- Nia's mom was so unhelpful. All that for what exactly? For her to point out how big Nia fucked up? We know goddammit. I'm glad the show is exploring Nia's hangups with her powers and her ability to make terrible choices but still.

- why is this show continuing to make Kara look like a complete idiot? That livechat was a trainwreck. Like the show does remember that Kara won a Pulitzer (tho for what idk because can't be the Lex expose this time)? A prize the likes of LOIS LANE has also won?

- citizen: *asks legitimate question*

kara: because....reasons!!!

- also kara acting like an expert on an issue she herself only became aware of five minutes ago? Sigh.

- does no one in this show have any level of general cynicism and suspicion? Or was that all used up on Lena in previous seasons?

- the Kelly screen time was down significantly in this episode and I'm not even sure why. What was it replaced with? I'll tell you: broccoli. They mention that fucking PSA every chance they get.

- the Nia scenes were so scattered and diluted, just like last week's

- NOBODY TOUCH MY CHAIR - god Brainy thank you for adding some gold to this episode

- since the tiger king looking people are back, does this mean that Kara remembers Nia and Brainy? Did anyone tell her about that time travel adventure? What info has and hasn't been shared?

- not that I want to see Lex but the way no one has even mentioned him in anyway since Kara's been back. Like does kara not want to know where this guy is so she can dangle him off a cliff and drop him?

- I guess we're done with the PZ trauma. The ice taking over the building would've been a perfect trigger for Kara since she talked about how the PZ literally felt like ice!!! How the fuck do you miss that opportunity???

- "only magic can defeat magic" so since Mxy obviously isn't sticking around until the end, I guess this really means Lena might be getting magic and I'm already tired

- but also, what I'm hearing is, Lena can protect Kara from pretty much everything she's vulnerable to and I think that's neat

- does Kelly not have military training tho? Even people not in the trenches have to go through training. They're acting like Kelly is some rando photojournalist with a flimsy blackbelt and no practical experience....oh wait

- Alex doesn't have powers, why do they talk as though she does? She has a shape shifting gaudy bracelet. That's it!

- Lena missing from this episode makes sense cuz she could've fixed the housing problem in 3 seconds flat

- Nia and Brainy in the same episode but no Brainia scenes? What even is this?

What can I say? The only positive here is that it continues from the previous episode and we got to see a little more Orlando. But everything else? The no Lena, the very little Andrea, the unsatisfactory Nia and her mom, that God awful PSA and even worse livechat, kara once again looking hella ignorant (you'd think after S4 she'd be so much more aware and skeptical)

Let's just say, I'm ready for Lena and doubles doubles and some random Newfie in what appears to be the same PZ cave Kara was in.

[ashdumpsterpile]

Ohmygod YES Susan Pevensie is awesome please talk to me about Susan i want to know everything you have to say

Literally THANK YOU for asking me this bc Susan Pevensie is a character I never get asked about and I have So Many Opinions.

I'm going to start by saying that Susan used to be my least favorite character in the series. This goes for the books and the movies. Some of it was for personal reasons--she reminds me of a couple of annoying ppl I know irl--but it was also bc I watched Prince Caspian which shoehorned her into a relationship with Caspian which I hated.

HOWEVER. I ended up rethinking this position after interacting with Susan fans and realizing that there are so many wonderful things to love about her!

(putting under the cut bc this got long)

Things Ash Loves About Susan Pevensie

Aight I'm not going to do a formal analysis yet on her, but instead rant about some of the unrelated things I adore about Susan Pevensie.

Susan the Archer

Look we all love archery here. I don't have anything more to say.

Okay, I actually do have more to say. I love the fact that Susan is a complete badass with the bow. You get the general impression that she's one of the royals in charge of public relations, traditions, foreign policy, etc. and yet she's the most competent archer in the series. One of the few things I liked about the movies is how they didn't downplay this. They actually let her be a badass and show off her skills.

Also the part where she kicks Trumpkin's ass was awesome.

Susan the Gentle

Susan being the most passive Pevensie was something I definitely underappreciated as a teenager. I think my non-ability to see past "I'm not like other girls" narrative and the combination of Susan being described as the most traditionally feminine woman in the Narnia series is what initially turned me off from her.

HOWEVER, now it's one of my favorite attributes! I love that Susan is a badass and the most beautiful woman in Narnia. She has hair down to her feet, every man and woman in the kingdom want to fuck her, and she's still a fucking badass who will not hesitate to kick your ass.

Susan the Sister

Most of my thoughts of Susan as an older sister mostly stem from my own personal headcanons, but she is an awesome sister to her siblings. She's Peter's voice of reason, Edmund's sass partner, and Lucy's big sister.

Susan the Mom-Friend

She is a literal mother-figure for Corin.

"[...] the most beautiful lady he had ever seen rose from her place and threw her arms round him and kissed him, saying: "Oh Corin, Corin, how could you? And thou and I such close friends ever since thy mother died. [...]"

-The Horse and His Boy, 33-34

Most everything I have to say about this ventures into headcanon territory, but I love the idea of Susan basically adopting Corin after his mom dies. The way she trusts Cor--who she thinks is Corin in this chapter--is really sweet and I wish we could've seen more of that relationship.

Susan the Flawed

Something I notice from the fandom is a lot of people who hate Susan tend to because of her flaws. On the other hand, most Susan stans like to wave away these flaws and blame C.S. Lewis for being misogynistic or Aslan for being a "cruel god" and ignore the fact that she is a deeply flawed person.

Susan gets something of a "reverse redemption arc" in The Chronicles of Narnia. This makes her not only a fascinating foil to Edmund--as both are analytical, logical people--but an interesting character by herself.

She starts out in TWW as very skeptical of Narnia and it's whole deal and also very condescending to Lucy throughout. She ultimately does admit that Lucy was right and does get on board with the whole prophecy at the same time Peter does, and ends the book being crowned "the Gentle Queen."

In The Horse and His Boy, she has a very interesting dynamic with Edmund and in even more interesting relationship with Rabadash. They don't even interact on-page with each other, but it's highly implied that she was interested in him when he was a guest in Narnia. His behavior obviously changed when she visited him in Tashbaan, but you have to wonder what their dynamic was like before for her to travel all the way to his home when relations between the countries were strained at best.

Prince Caspian is where the cracks start showing through. Susan has lived an entire life as an adult in Narnia, gets thrown back to England with her siblings, and is yet again in Narnia as a child. This book is what really emphasizes her one fatal flaw: convenience.

(Put a pin in that thought, I'll get back to it.)

Susan denies once again that Lucy saw something that the rest of them can't seen. She continues this narrative until every other sibling finally acknowledges Lucy in the right and only then does she apologize.

The last mention of Susan is in The Last Battle, where all of her flaws rise up against her in the worst way possible. I have a lot of controversial opinions on this that I'm going to address later, but I just want to say that Susan's reverse-redemption arc is something I actually like about her.

(There is also evidence that Susan does get a full redemption arc, just as Edmund and Eustace did, but C.S. Lewis was pretty much done with The Chronicles of Narnia at the point and instead encouraged fans to write their own version of how that went down.)

Okay, back to convenience being Susan's fatal flaw. So the one thing that comes up time and time again in the series is that Susan is very focused on material comforts. I believe it's implied that she's vain, and it's canonical that her own personal comfort spurs her to make decisions.

"[...] I really believed it was him — he, I mean — yesterday. When he warned us not to go down to the fir wood. And I really believed it was him tonight, when you woke us up. I mean, deep down inside. Or I could have, if I'd let myself. But I just wanted to get out of the woods and — and — oh, I don't know [...]"

Prince Caspian, 81

Prince Caspian has the strongest examples of Susan doing this, but certainly there's evidence elsewhere. There are a lot of fans who are distressed by this, claiming that Aslan and the others are too hard on her and shouldn't judge.

Honestly, I like that she's written with this flaw. Not only is it very relatable--(my own personal comfort and convenience is something I highly prioritize too)--but it humanizes a character who otherwise is ridiculously op and basically the Helen of Troy of the series. It may sound like I'm using this as an excuse to rant, but I really wouldn't have her any other way.

Susan As Portrayed by Anna Popplewell

Movie!Susan is a fucking delight.

She's sarcastic and badass and awesome and I could spend hours heaping praise on Anna's acting and her portrayal of Susan, but I can already tell that this post is going to be long so, I'll just stop here.

(10/10 want to be stabbed by her tho.)

Personal Headcanons

Let's talk about my fanon thoughts. I have many.

Susan is Aro

There's canonical evidence for this! Susan is a character who is heavily pursued by suitors everywhere, and even lets herself be courted by many of them, but chooses not to settle down. Even when she gets back to England and is described as only having interest in parties and material things, boys aren't mentioned.

I like to think that in The Horse in His Boy Susan was interested in Rabadash at first because he was a brilliant conversationalist. Nothing she says about him implies romantic interest, before and after she realizes the truth of his intentions.

Susan and Edmund Were Best Friends

This might be my love for The Horse and His Boy showing itself, but I think Susan and Edmund were thrown into circumstances where they interacted the most with each other.

Edmund is the ruler in charge of politics. Susan is the ruler in charge of Cair Paravel's public image. I imagine they spent time as ambassadors to other countries and planning royal functions.

They're also the most level-headed and logical out of their siblings, so they probably found a lot in common.

Susan Fancast

I literally just said I loved Anna's potrayal of Susan's (and I love what they gave us of older Susan too in LWW!), but I read the books in 2008 and my parents didn't let me see the movies bc I was like...nine years old and they thought it would be too scary.

So I had to headcanon my own interpretations.

Queen Susan the Gentle:

For some reason Merlin wasn't too scary for me to watch and I fell in love with Katie McGrath in like. Two episodes so. (On an unrelated note, I also fancast Bradley James as Peter at the time.)

Anyway, fanon Susan is basically Morgana Pendragon pre-evil arc. Sassy as hell, hot as fuck, and can kick your ass.

Unpopular Opinions

Yeah, feel free to skip this part if having controversial fandom opinions is a deal breaker for you.

The Problem With Susan Isn't Actually A Problem

I'm about to start so much discourse in the Narnia fandom, but C.S. Lewis's choices with her in The Last Battle weren't misogynistic. Bear in mind, I'm not saying that all of his writing choices in the series were A++ or excusing away certain racist/sexiest bits, but it's honestly baffling to me that people are so up in arms over Susan's exclusion in the final book.

So the part that everyone loses their shit over is as follows:

"My sister Susan," answered Peter shortly and gravely, "is no longer a friend of Narnia."

"Yes," said Eustace, "and whenever you've tried to get her to come and talk about Narnia or do anything about Narnia, she says 'What wonderful memories you have! Fancy your still thinking about all those funny games we used to play when we were children.'"

"Oh Susan!" said Jill, "she's interested in nothing now-a-days except nylons and lipstick and invitations. She always was a jolly sight too keen on being grown-up."

"Grown-up, indeed," said the Lady Polly. "I wish she would grow up. She wasted all her school time wanting to be the age she is now, and she'll waste all the rest of her life trying to stay that age. Her whole idea is to race on to the silliest time of one's life as quick as she can and then stop there as long as she can."

The Last Battle, 83-84

There's a lot to unpack here and I first want to say that everyone's opinion on this part, no matter how different than mine, is valid. I'm going to be quoting some other ppl's opinions on here and by no means am I bashing them. I just want to address my feelings on the matter and the best way to do that is to cite the thoughts of ppl who have opposing ideas.

Here are some arguments on Tumblr I've heard regarding "The Problem of Susan":

"How about we talk about what might have happened if Narnia hadn't deserted Susan? [...] What if we didn't tell Susan she had to go grow up in her own world and then shame and punish her for doing just that? She was told to walk away and she went. She did not try to stay a child all her life, wishing for something she had been told she couldn't have again."

"Narnia is filled with metaphors (often not very subtle ones) that are supposed to teach us how to be, and the most glaring one for any young girl to absorb is that it's okay to be a girl like Lucy, unthreatening and cheerful and valiant and faithful, but to be a girl like Susan gets you punished - in fact, you aren't just punished, you're destroyed."

"why do we call it ‘the problem’ where’s the problem about a young woman dealing with her trauma and choosing her own path, actively making the choice to keep living and to stay and to carve a life out in England when her siblings couldn’t? what is the problem about susan forgetting to somehow cope with what she’s experienced? why is it ‘the problem of susan’ that she recontextualised her faith?"

And then there's JK Rowling who said this:

There comes a point where Susan, who was the older girl, is lost to Narnia because she becomes interested in lipstick. She's become irreligious basically because she found sex. I have a big problem with that.

It's weird how I'm still finding new ways to hate JKR in the year 2021. Again, there is absolutely zero implication that Susan had sex when she came back to England. ZERO. Did she actually read the books? IDK. If someone shares this opinion pls reply with actual canonical evidence.

Back on topic, I'm a firm believer of death of the author and interpreting art via your own experiences. Which is why I'm also going to share my own interpretation by saying y'all are wrong.

Susan Pevensie was not abandoned by Narnia. She was not barred from Narnia because she is traditionally feminine or because she "owned her sexuality" (another opinion I didn't have time to condense down for this post) or because she recontextualized her faith or even because she deserved to be punished.

I also fail to see how Susan recontexualized her faith, as the entire point of it all is that she has none. Bringing this back to Susan's fatal flaw (personal convenience/material comforts), her prioritizing herself over her own faith is the reason she is "no longer a friend of Narnia." Not...whatever fanon y'all are imposing on her character.

Susan is not being punished for liking lipstick and looking pretty. Susan's not even being punished. Y'all read Neil Gaiman's The Problem of Susan and forgot it wasn't canon.

There are many reasons Susan is not in Aslan's Country (one of them being that she's not actually dead yet), but the main one has to do with this:

"[...] But there I have another name. You must learn to know me by that name. This was the very reason why you were brought to Narnia, that by knowing me here for a little, you may know me better there.”

Voyage of the Dawn Treader, 215-216

Yeah, okay that's why Susan is no longer a friend of Narnia. The implication when the Pevensies are told that they can no longer enter Narnia is that they are to find Aslan in other places. Susan doesn't do this, instead choosing to focus her life on material things. It isn't the lipstick, it's that she only wants the lipstick.

Susan Had Sex In The Books

Oh and not in the context y'all are thinking. (Again, there are no implications that Susan was barred from Narnia for having sex or that she had sex when she came back to England.)

So there's actual canonical evidence that Susan and Rabadash had a sexual relationship. Sort of.

"What think you? We have been in this city fully three weeks. Have you yet settled in your mind whether you will marry this dark-faced lover of yours, this Prince Rabadash, or no?"

-The Horse and His Boy, 35

Edmund calls Rabadash her lover. Not her suitor. I don't know if the word had a different meaning in 1954, but it feels like C.S. Lewis is saying that they're fucking. I'm not really happy with the idea of Susan sleeping with an abuser, but really proud of her for Getting Some as a woman born in a time period where having premarital sex was a big no-no.

This also invalidates the weird opinion going on that Susan was barred from Narnia because she had sex.

Suspian Is The Worst

I haven't really talked about Movie!Susan much, but as long as we're talking unpopular opinions, it's worth noting that I hate Suspian. Some of it is the "Susan is Aro" headcanon screaming inside of me, but it's also the fact that it's written poorly, does nothing interesting for either character and generally comes across as awkward.

I feel like they were trying to make Prince Caspian sexy and relevant to teens. It came across as super heteronormative and unnecessary.

It also gets really really weird bc the next movie then gives Caspian and Edmund mad chemistry and we're all just like........ok.

Final Thoughts

Susan may not be my favorite character in the series, but she's grown on me over the years. I have many issues with fanon interpretations of her--which definately fueled some of my disdain for her initally--and I don't identify as a Susan Apologist.

I do however adore Susan and have many headcanons for her not mentioned here. I love reading fanfic, writing fanfic and meta, and generally having conversations about her and would love to talk more about it.

I welcome criticism (CONSTRUCTIVE) and conversation on all of my opinions and observations. Please drop into my inbox. <3

[interact-if]

Umm hi 👉👈 I realized that most of the asks you guys get are about games and rec lists. You guys deserve so much recognition for the work you put in this blog, so I wanted to ask if I can do a little get-to-know-the-mods thing? If that's okay!

1. Besides writing, what are your hobbies?

2. Do you have a niche interest right now?

3. Any fave songs/artists/bands?

4. Any fave movies/tv shows?

5. On a scale of 1-10, how likely would you survive in your wip's world?

You can totally ignore this if you guys want, no pressure. Anyway, much love to all the interact-if mods! You guys are incredible! ❤

We saw this ask and we went 👀 👀 👀 so we’re happy to answer! Thank you so much for the fun ask!

 We also rated our survivability in all of our collective games, since Mars isn't an author! Fun stuff! Spoilers, though: it’s really not looking so great for me (Dani) but that’s fine!!!  😌

1. I’m a photographer as well as a graphic artist (but not like. A painter/drawer kind of artist!) and, on a general level, a maker and a tinkerer!

2. Fountain pens! I only write with ink, and only with fountain pens, and I use bottled inks/converters!

3. I’m pretty eclectic with music, but my top genres are alt rock, indie, indie pop, etc, as well as top 40s and some rap.

4. I feel like this is the hardest one for me to answer? Favorite movies/shows? Avatar: the Last Airbender has been a favorite show of mine since I was a little kid, but I have a harder time thinking of shows I would call a favorite in recent years. There are shows I’ve liked, and a lot of shows I’ve watched. But I’m picky! And demanding! It takes a lot to earn a place in Dani’s Trophy Case of Favorites. 😌 I would say I quite liked A Quite Place (movie), and I liked Us (movie). When it comes to TV shows, I have a hard time being pleased with them if they don’t end well. As a result, I have a penchant for a good limited series/miniseries (because they’re stories that have an end in mind and the plot reflects that, dagnabbit).

5. Heh. Okay.

In The Goodfellows? I think I stand I chance. I can exercise my sparkling wit and lovable personality to the best effect. I’m gonna give myself an 8/10 survivability rating. Even if I don’t have the right skills, I can go crying to the person who does and they’ll save me. Maybe.

In Creatures’ Cradle? I’m super $**!%d. 😌 1/10 survivability rating. And that 1 is me being nice to myself. The day the apocalypse breaks out I would probably be patient 0. I am self-aware. I would not do well in an apocalypse. Zombies care not for aforementioned sparkling wit and lovable personality, and I have all the muscle of a boiled spaghetti noodle. So it’s a no go.

Greater Than Gods (Cruz): Well. I’m going to be optimistic. And say that I have the wisdom not to do things I shouldn’t do and not to rock boats I shouldn’t rock. I’m going to give myself a 7/10 based on insider information, but also based on reckless optimism!

Vardir (Cruz): Cruz says this is a lighthearted game, so 10/10 LOL.

When it Hungers (Roast): I’m giving myself a nice, mediocre 5/10. I think I could put my mind to work here; I joke that I’m the village idiot, but I’m actually pretty smart! Unfortunately, I’m also curious, and maybe a little bad with authorities who won’t answer my questions. So I knocked off a lot of points due to the fact that I’d probably poke the metaphorical bear. So it’s a real coin flip as to whether I’d really make it or not.

Orthall Bay (Nines): Considering the genre is “horror” and the game intro includes the words “monster” and “maim,” I’m giving myself a whooping, enthusiastic 3/10. Yes, folks, I am that confident in myself! Once again, I can’t charm the socks off a monster (or can I?), so one of my greatest weapons is snatched from beneath my feet. Alas!

1. Beloved I’m a college student in the middle of a pandemic... i can hardly even write LOL i do draw at times which u can see in my personal blog (nothing too good really) and i used to do karate before things went to shit <3

2. Nothing niche I believe? All I do is leave Netflix as bg noise every day n play popular videgames (genshin)

3. Porter Robinson <3 I love Bea Miller a lot as well but lately I’ve been feeling Porter a lot

4. The Good Place <3

5. My WIPs:

Greater than Gods: Highly situational, the world GtG is set in is as broad as the real world LOL so I don’t have an universal answer. But keeping it vague, and knowing my own personality, I feel like 5/10. depends on my luck.

Vardir: 10/10 no one dies in Vikgade, unless you’re a hunter but I wouldn’t be a hunter <3

Others’ WIPs

I'm gonna give myself a solid 5/10 in all other WIPs because y'all aren't writing lighthearted stories either. I feel like as long as I avoid the role of the MC I will be mostly fine. I hope. But as Dani said I'm also prone to fight the wrong person and dig my own grave so 😌

1. Well, writing is a very, very, very, distant hobby since Words Hard, but I like to crochet and sculpt a little! Anything to do with fiddling with my hands and I’m good to go. And like, debatable but graphic design is my passion [insert clown emoji here since Tumblr said No]

2. Oh yeah a bunch! DnD yelling at people, thinking of arson, crocheting, rock climbing and simply vibing. I got into podcasts a few years ago and I’m always looking for more recs, so if you have some, hmu 😤

3. Pls,,,,my music taste is,,,so weird do not let me expose myself with lack of consistency but uhh. Current songs that are stuck in my head include; Cult of Dionysus , Achilles Come Down and The Last Shanty  

4. If you’ve ever spoken to me before, I probably yelled about Pacific Rim to you or at you. Plus I love all The Mummy films and really enjoyed Castlevania (s3 excluded, we do not perceive that) as well! 

5. Ah, mod survival simulator pt. 3

Alright, let’s go!  I don’t have a WIP because again, words hard, but like, considering how feral I am when not tryna seem professional hm... 

The Goodfellows: I wanna say a solid 7/10 because I’d hardcore vibe with the Traveler and probably instigate so much nonsense. I can also bribe with blueberry cake so maybe. 

Creature’s Cradle: maybe a 4/10 and only because of pure spite keeping me alive long enough to smack someone. I’ve prepared for hypothetical  zombie apolcapyses and I won’t hesitate to bap, but will be bapped back because I’m weak as hell. 

Greater Than Gods: a toss up between 2/10 and 7/10! I can vibe and be chill but I also have terrible impulse control so... 

Vardir: hm....I think pretty good survival rates all around? If you ask me to fight then like, okay sure, your knees are mine. So maybe a 8/10? 

When it Hungers: .......8/10 just because I’d refuse to die if I can be a cool creature. Living for the aesthetic can and will drag me outta hell. But I’m also clumsy as hell so I’d probably crash as a porcelain or hold a rooster and perish (aka, real rating is a good 3/10) 

Orthall Bay: 2/10, nope. Nope I’d be taken out in a heartbeat. Monsters can go pspsps and I’d head straight into the dark creepy forest like a fool if someone comes @ me. Half the time I’ll just assume it’s sfx makeup and vibe until it’s too late. 

god, never put me in a universe where I cannot squawk like a bird and throw pebbles from a window. Oof

Anon, you're so sweet! I give you a forehead smoomch <333 As for your questions...

1. If I'm not writing, I'm usually watching video essays on Youtube. My go-to channels as of right now is Disrupt and Aperture! I just really like their videos. Aside from that, I recently got into podcasts. Currently going through Hello From The Hallowoods and Shelter and Warning, which are made by queer creators!

2. Oh oof, there's quite a bit so I'm just gonna put down one thing. For some reason, I really got into collecting tiny astronaut things? I recently bought this astronaut desk light, and I've got a package coming in for the miniatures I ordered. No purpose for them other than I think they're neat <3

3. I'm a bit private with my music taste (even tho I have Spotify connected on Discord lmao), but there's 5 songs that I'm currently obsessed with. I keep replaying them over and over again. Just squeezing all the serotonin I could get outta them.

4. I can't really say I have a fave TV show or movie because I can't really just pick one, but my current fave is 9-1-1 and Resident Alien. 9-1-1 because I just really love the found-family dynamics and how the show tackles sensitive topics, and Resident Alien because it's lighthearted comedy. My all-time fave movie is Flipped! I have the book too and I like rereading from time to time <3

5. You're in for a doozy, anon, because we're rating each other's games <333

The Goodfellows: 7/10

Listen. Shenanigans with the Traveler. I would get up to so many of them and that is what'll get me possibly bodied, not the actual environment itself <3

Greater than Gods: 7/10

I like to think I have enough common sense to uhhh not recklessly flip stones that should not be flipped <3 I'm a cautious and skeptic person irl so I think I'll hold up well? Then again, it's a vast environment change and while I can adapt pretty quick, I wouldn't like the lack of control in the unknown.

Vardir: 10/10

Going off what Cruz said, Vardir is lighthearted and focused on personal growth so I think I'll be okay! Self-growth here I come, babey!

Creatures' Cradle: 8/10

Maybe I'm overestimating myself, but I think I'll be able to survive in a supernatural post-apocalyptic world! Ah, but it depends on the motivation though. I like the idea of rebuilding communities and eventually societies, but the survival turmoil would be a constant battle I'd have to overcome. If we're talking survival itself though, I think I'll do well.

When it Hungers: 8/10

That's probably my wishful thinking but I think I'll be fine. Maybe. Possibly. Don't like the idea of being regulated by an organization so if I was a non-human creature that could pose a problem but I can roll with it <3

Orthall Bay: 6/10

Assuming I'm not playing as MC, my chances of survival uhhh changes quite drastically. Not enough to guarantee an untimely demise, but certainly enough that it would constantly keep me on my toes. I think that's the safest answer I can get without spoiling anything lmao

Thank you so much for asking! It's super sweet of you <3

1. Too many :'D I knit, I sew, I do carpentry (well, learning), I bake, I'm hammering away at HTML and CSS, my job kind of encourages learning new things and I take that to picking up new hobbies!

2. My time is kind of consumed with school work and work work and WIP work so not a lot of time to pursue niche interests right now. I've been watching a lot of horror game playthroughs, true crime youtubers, and an adorable show on Netflix called the Repair Shop <3

3. My taste in music is "what am I vibing with atm?" I've been listening to a lot of 80's music atm (don't @ me), but also Lo Fang and Kaleo, and whatever spotify recommends me on my discover weekly which is usually complete chaos.

4. I love the Mummy even though it hasn't aged 100% well (I'm a librarian, of course it's one of my gotos LOL), Legally Blonde, Leverage, Jumanji (the original), I'm....very bad at having recent tastes... and very bad at remembering my favorites when asked.

5.

The Goodfellows: I'm a creature of comfort, 5/10 if I can just luxuriate in town and not actually interact with the story sfjkdbsdkf

Creature’s Cradle: I'd like to think I have a 50/50 shot XD 5/10, I want to think I'd be decent at a zombie apocalypse but ultimately would suffer an early fate.

Greater Than Gods: 10/10 if I'm just vibing, less so if I'm involved in the actual story XD

Vardir: I'd still suffer without technology but I can also knit for a living in this world so I'm down 8/10

When it Hungers: I feel like I could vibe here, there's tech if dated, hot showers, telephones are around by now... might still get bored. 7/10 though it'd be cool to be another creature....I should make a 'what creature of snv are you' quiz!

Orthall Bay: 7/10 idk I feel like after the first monster of the week I'd just skip town XDDDD I'm the worst protagonist, I see danger I just leave.