#i’m not scared of heights so i was chill with the bridge but it was very high. like so high my brain couldn’t understand it

[sixlane]

the bridge

jegulus microfic | just a few words | i only read this over like. twice. so um. hope you like it.

“Noooo, no no no Reg this is not happening,” James said, clinging to the railing of the pedestrian bridge.

“This will be fun,” Regulus had said, “amazing views,” he’d advertised. And now here James was, a million or whatever feet in the air over rushing rapids, his head spinning and his palms sweaty.

“James you can’t wimp out now. We’re already halfway across.” Regulus gestured toward the other end of the bridge where the rest of their tour group was waiting for them.

“Regulus, baby, I love you so much but there is no way I will make it over there. Just leave me here to die.” Maybe he was being dramatic, but it truly felt like the bridge would collapse with even the slightest movement.

“I’m not leaving you to die on our honeymoon. I think that would probably ruin the mood,” Regulus said with an eye roll. “Okay how about this. Just close your eyes. I’ll hold your hand and guide you the rest of the way.”

James started to shake his head. “I don’t know—“

“I’ve got you, James. It’ll be okay. Just me and you.”

And in that moment, looking into the eyes of the man he loved so deeply, so complexly, and so completely, James knew it was true. He would always have Regulus to guide him. His own personal north star.

“Okay,” James said, “Just me and you.”

As he took Regulus’ hand, even though they were 50 stories up, James had never felt more grounded.

[stargirlsmooch]

stay

abby anderson x fem!reader

abby wanted what was best for lev, always. so when they come across a house, she sees her opportunity. thank god the owner is a total sweetheart. a little angsty + super fluffy! 2.9kwords.

!timeline wrong, not canon whatsoever, fluff, cuddles, a dog with a stupid name and Lev being funny and cute, a little angsty. divider by @firefly-graphics !

They had spotted the house a few days ago, perched on a little hill and surrounded by dense woodland, perfectly hidden and protected by the natural environment. Lev had wanted to run right up to the front door the second they saw it, his usual fearlessness overpowering any logical thought, reminding Abby about a time she would rather forget… involving heights and bridges.

After a few minutes of bargaining, Abby had convinced Lev that they needed to wait a few days, scope the place out and keep close by. The two set up camp just out of sight and earshot of the house, envy growing every time they peeked at the puffing chimney and the warmth lining the window panes. What Abby wouldn’t do to get inside that house.

It would’ve been a whole lot easier if it was unoccupied, if they could just waltz right in and make themselves at home, take off their boots and hang up their coats. But close observation had pummelled that dream into the ground when they spotted you, bundled up in a brown coat and wool hat, walking a German Sheppard along little desire paths that you had carved into the earth.

You would return to the house with a smile on your face and the sweet dog trailing behind you, reminding Abby of Alice and pulling at her heartstrings. I miss her so much.

The chill of November had started to settle a few nights ago, with days getting shorter and the air getting colder. Lev felt a mild kind of jealousy working its way around him at the sight of you passing in front of the windows with only a t-shirt on, whilst he wrapped himself in every layer he owned. It must be so warm in there. 

When a few suns had set and risen, Abby thought the situation had been assessed enough, thought she had gathered enough information and thought she was ready to march up to that front door and bust it open… and then kindly beg for mercy. 

If Lev wasn’t with her, she probably wouldn’t even have paid the house a second look, she would’ve walked right past and kept on her way to nowhere. But her little companion had begged, literally pulled on her jacket sleeve and dug his heels in, when he spotted the house. 

“We can just… I dunno… walk up and knock on the door.” He whispered, looking down at his fingers, already knowing the reaction he was going to get wasn’t going to be the one that he wanted. 

“You’re kidding, right?”

“She seems nice.” 

“Oh yeah, and you’ve talked to her?” Abby asked with a chuckle, placing her strong hands on her hips and turning around to look at you as you busied yourself in what appeared to be your kitchen.

Lev stayed silent, watching you too with his arms crossed over his chest in quiet defiance, “I can just tell.” 

“You can just tell… right. And what about that massive dog on the porch, huh? What about him?” 

“Hey! You’re the one who told me that dogs are nice.” His face crumpled in annoyance, brow furrowing and lip curling up in minute anger as he pointed a finger at her. He knew Abby was trying to scare him.

“No, I told you Alice was nice.” 

“Look, we overheard her calling it Taco. No dog called Taco can be that bad.” He argued, waving his arms around manically in hopes it would force his point across.

Abby’s face turned fiercely serious, “you know what a taco is, right Lev? It’s not something to joke about. It’s a strain of infected that rips the limbs off people and-”

“Shut up, I know what a taco is. I already told you I’m thirteen, not eight. And don’t you dare say it.”

“You’re the size of an eight-year-old.”

Abby ended up promising to make a move the next time you came outside, just to make it all up to Lev. She didn’t expect the next time you ventured out to be when you were chopping firewood with an axe so big it almost made you topple over. 

But she gathered her composure and climbed the hill slowly, keeping her eye on Taco who sat in his usual spot on the porch steps, panting with his pink tongue hanging out of his mouth. Abby wasn’t going to let his current adorable doe-eyed expression trick her, she knew he could turn at any moment and come bounding at her with red eyes.

Instead, his head lolled to the side at the sight of her and he trotted up to her before flopping onto his back with a cute doggy smile on his face. She bent down and gave him a gentle pat on the head, which was met with a happy whine.

“I was wondering when you were gonna come up here,” you said, turning around and greeting Abby with a pleasant smile. “You took your time. How long were you out there? A week?” 

Her mouth felt like it was wired shut, put in a near-permanent state of shock at your fearlessness (and embarrassment based on the fact that she wasn’t as sneaky as she thought she was). 

“Tell your little friend to come out too.” 

Taco yapped angrily at the loss of Abby’s hand, chasing it with his head. You propped the axe up against a block of wood and made your way towards the house, giving Lev a little wave as he made his way out from behind the treeline from where Abby had come from.

“I’m guessing you guys want showers, and beds, and food. I’ve got everything you need in here.” You smiled as Lev picked up his pace towards you, only for his hood to be grabbed by Abby as they shared some hushed words.

You didn’t need to hear the conversation to know what was being said, you knew your unusual generosity was screaming alarm bells at the pair, but the decision to welcome them into your home (even if they just wanted it for one night) was one that was made quickly and easily. 

The reason: loneliness.

Having spoken to no one but your father, who only came once a week to deliver supplies, it was no wonder you were feeling a little alone. You missed having someone to love on, someone to touch, someone to cuddle. One look at Abby and you decided that she was the only one you would give that to. 

After about thirty seconds, Lev shook Abby off and followed you, rushing up the stairs and through the door, finding you in the kitchen, at the fridge. He gawked at the stocked shelves, and you stood there giggling at him, “help yourself, hun.”

Leaving him to his own devices, you wandered into the living room to find Abby checking the locks on all your windows and pulling the curtains closed. Her powerful frame took up a good chunk of space, filling the room with a sense of security even though there was a feeling far from it painted across her face.

“Hey,” you said quietly, grabbing her attention, “you can leave if you want, or only stay for a few hours, it’s completely up to you.”

Abby couldn’t help but be taken aback by your kindness. She couldn’t remember the last time anyone other than Lev had smiled at her, and here you were opening up your home to her. But she nodded her head as you spoke, trying to show a little appreciation before she started her interrogation.

“What’s in it for you?”

Pursing your lips, you thought it over. The answer was easy enough to come up with, it had spawned in your mind the moment you even thought about the prospect of having someone, other than Taco, to talk to.

“Company?” 

“Okay… and that’s it? You don’t want anything in return?”

“I guess it depends on how long you’re planning on staying.” You answered as Abby took a seat on your battered couch, shrugging her jacket off and relishing the heated air. You followed her lead and took yours off too, laying it over the arm of the chair and sitting down next to her, slowly. “Firewood doesn’t chop itself.”

Abby laughed at that, just a quiet one under her breath that made a grin break out across your face. Maybe you were getting a little ahead of yourself, and maybe it was a little too ambitious… but you really hoped she would stay.

“So, Lev, here you go,” you said. “Here are three blankets just in case you get a little cold, and a pillow, and just letting you know that Taco might crush your feet if you don’t move them because that’s his favourite place to sleep.” 

You looked down at him sprawled out on your couch, his head now propped up on cotton and feathers, making a content sigh burst out of him, “thank you so much.”

“No problem, hun. You get some rest and I’ll make you pancakes in the mornin’, okay?”

“What are pancakes?” 

You giggled, “I guess you’ll see.”

The walk from Lev to your bedroom was short, directly down the hall and behind a chipped door. Your bed was pushed right up in the corner of the room, with a solid white comforter pulled over a soft mattress, topped with cushions and more blankets you had found.

The sounds of water hitting the floor drifted under your bathroom door, along with the steam, as you sat down and waited for Abby to finish showering. You had already laid out some clean underwear and an longsleeve men’s shirt you had found at the bottom of one of your drawers, thinking that it would suit her (and fit her) better than anything you owned.

The two of you had chatted deeply over dinner, her sharing details of the explorations with Lev, how they met, her time at WLF, her friends… more than you thought you deserved to know, but there was something about the compassion in your eyes that made Abby pour her heart out. She felt safer than she ever had when she looked at you, safe in a way no one had ever made her feel. And it was overwhelming.

She used her time in the shower to release the tension, letting the scalding water work over her tired muscles. The tears managed to keep themselves at bay as she stepped out, whimpering at the softness of your bathmat and the warmth of the towel you had left out for her. She dried off and wrapped it around herself, padding over to the door and cracking it open, seeing your face move to her as you jumped up off the corner of the bed.

“Hey…” you started, feeling Abby’s reserved nature, the one she had had when you met earlier, pop back up between you, “I have some pjs here for you… it’s just a shirt and underwear but it’s better than nothing. I can see if I can find some bottoms for you if you’d like, but I-”

“No, no. That’s more than enough, thank you.” 

You nodded, smiling so tenderly at her that she had to avert her gaze to the ground. She was terrified of crying, letting the tears fall and the strength fall with them. Too much attention spent on hiding her emotions, she didn’t notice you in front of her until your hands were on her bare shoulders.

“You’re okay now, Abby. Both of you are safe here.” You whispered, feeling her muscles bunch up underneath your fingers and her shoulders slowly start to shake with tears, “oh, honey.”

You didn’t think twice before wrapping your arms around her the best you could, squeezing her to you fiercely, trying to ground her to you. She had a few inches on you, so you cuddled her around her upper-waist, palms flat in the centre of her back. You considered pulling away when you felt no response from her, scared you had pushed it a little too far, but her own arms wound their way around your shoulders, their weight tying you to her. 

“Thank you.” 

Kissing the side of her neck, your pulled back and took her face in your hands, “it’s my pleasure, baby. And I know we agreed that you would sleep on the floor but, how do you feel about sharing with me? Yeah? I just wanna cuddle.”

Her lips were pouted adorably as she nodded at you, placing her hands on top of yours and winding your fingers together, pulling your right hand to her lips and giving your knuckles a sweet kiss.

Once she had released you, you turned towards your window, letting her get dressed in subtle privacy as you checked and double checked the lock before pulling the blind down, the only light now being your bedside lamp. You then shuffled out of your pyjama pants before laying them over the chair in the corner of the room, only turning around when you heard the quiet rustle of sheets and the familiar creek of your bedframe.

Abby took a deep breath at the sight of you, awaiting the feeling of your skin again, imagining what your thighs would feel like pressed into the back of hers as you spooned her. She pulled the duvet up to her chin, willing the cold cotton to warm up as you climbed up to your side, slinking under the blanket as to not pull any from Abby.

When you reached over her to shut off the light, you paused, staring down at her in barely-contained awe, entranced by her beauty, “you’re gonna stay, right?” 

“I’m staying. We’re staying.” She whispered finitely, watching your eyes dance across her face, drinking her in before you dropped a warm kiss on the corner of her mouth. You smiled and let the room fall into darkness.

Instead of fleeing back over to your side of the bed like Abby thought you might do, you wrapped a leg around her waist, your thigh pressing over her hips and warming her tummy. An arm wrapped around you almost naturally, pulling you closer as you laid a palm on her chest, along with your head. 

Abby fell asleep faster than she ever had.

[mjso-soupp]

Meet me in the South

Chapter 2: I’m not native

(Subaru Sakamaki/Fem!American!Reader)

Word count: 2.7k

TW: Mentions of blood, and Bullying(idk lol?)

Notes: Im really proud about how this one turned out, updates may be more frequent since I do have a clear schedule for now.. Thank you for my two best friends for helping me through this (ahem, bubble and Iris..)

I like feeling the water rush under my feet, in the creek behind the church.

My friends fingers gripping my bare shoulder, scared she’ll slip and fall.

I laugh and tell her it’s okay if she does, I’ll get wet with her.

We walked the winding creek down to the river, my friends waiting on the bridge above.

She held my hand when we stood on the edge of the bridge, it’s not far. It'll last a few seconds.

I feel my insides become lighter when we jump, our screams resonate together and pierce the quiet air.

Water shoots up my nose. Once I reach the shore, she smiles at me.

“See? It wasn’t so bad.”

——

February 20th 2004

“Damn, you take forever to wake up.”

The bed sunk under the weight of the two, Subaru observing her resting face, the sun went away, taking the long shadows it placed on the earth with it, and the heat it blessed life. The last seven days were warmer in the night, occasional outings gave energy to both brides and life in the mansion was thriving. Her body was huddled under the king size sheet, curled in hopes of beating the chilling air in the mansion that never left. Her eyes cracked open, fluttering open to meet Subaru’s piercing gaze.

“Is it time for school..?” She whispered, propping up on her elbow. Rubbing circles on her lids.

“Hurry up, Reijis gonna be on our asses. You wouldn’t wake up so I just sat here waiting.”

“You were watching me sleep?”

“N-not like that! Tch, I was just passing the time. I went to sleep earlier than usual, and couldn't go back to sleep.”

“Okay..” His face grew red, standing up abruptly and walking to the door.

“Just, hurry up and get ready, okay?” Slamming the door behind him, leaving the girl on the bed confused.

——

“Can you tell me the answer to number five?”

Her head lifted slowly in confusion, the bright fluorescent lights hindering her vision whilst attempting to observe the surroundings. It was class time, the lesson had been slept away. Everyone was staring at the sight before them in her groggy awakening, watching her jaw stretch open for a yawn while her arms stretched behind her back, cracking it loudly. The teacher stood at the front of the board, ruler in one hand, chalk in another, waiting for a response patiently.

“Me?” She replied,

“Yes, you. You would have a clue about what’s going on if you weren’t sleeping.”

‘What class am I even in again? There’s kanji scribbled on the board, how many kilometers are in a mile again…? This is math right?’ Bright eyes finally adjusted to the bright room, noticing a group of girls in the corner covering their mouths.

They giggled. The one that stood out, leaned over to one of the petite girls next to her, whispering in her ear causing her to giggle continuously. They eventually made eye contact with her.

The girl's name was Hana, her hair was as dark as the atmosphere around her, that fell down to her waist, eyes of emerald green that slanted ever so slightly, making her look angry all the time. She also wore her uniform loosely: Blazer that fit her a size too large, button up with a couple of them missing, short skirt that questionably adhered to the dress code and a new pair of mary jane’s everyday. All her friends however, were short: Hair, Height, and short of dignity. As opposed to her menacing personality, she was surrounded with all the bubbly, gyaru girls? And they practically worshiped the ground she walked on, wiping her fake tears for her. Her father was a politician that worked with the Sakamaki brothers' father, that was the word around the class.

“debu.” Her friends laughed even louder this time, the teacher just rolled her eyes and walked back to the board.

“Enough of that. Please try to stay awake for the next lesson.”

“Yes, maam.”

Then the bell rang, signaling lunch, everyone rushed out of the room, crowding the halls. Hana and her friends watched the girl leave the room, turning their heads, smirking when they collaborated on their idea.

The bench on the top of the roof was her designated spot, no one would greet her up there. She had gotten used to sitting peacefully, listening to the wind howl while eating whatever the cafeteria was serving. Occasionally Laito would pop up, but not much

mind was paid to him

“Look who it is, it’s debu!” She stood up and walked towards the girl. Her eyes sent a glint even through the dark night and the moon shone on her shiny polished nails.

“Hey, Debu!” Her lips parted into a wide grin, licking her red lips. The bride's face dropped into a worried expression, her heart began racing, quickening her breaths.

“What does that mean..?” Hana laughed, bringing her hand onto her hip, her pocket knife metal shining.

The same girls laugh echoed behind, the bride snapped her head around, facing the three girls.

“Gaijin, they’re such an eyesore. Don’t you agree, girls? Maybe we should teach her a lesson.”

The pocket knife flipped open in the swipe of Hana’s wrist, lunging at the bride. Hana’s arm wrapped around the brides shoulder and held the blade up to her neck.

“Stop—what are you doing!” The cold blade pressed down onto the bride's pale skin, droplets of crimson earned a hiss from the frightened girl.

“This will teach you to stay away from what isn’t yours.” The blade slicing a thin line into the bride's neck, she closed her eyes in response, chewing on her lip to muffle a scream.

“Oi! What the hell do you think you’re doing!”

Hana jumped at the sound of the vampire's voice, she shot looks at the three girls, dropped her grip on the bride and fled, along with her group. Leaving the bride confused once again, she held her neck, blood streaming down onto her white button up.

“Fuck, are you okay— You’re always causing trouble for me! I can’t waste this, okay, I’ll clean you up.”

“I’m sorry—I didn’t see them coming.”

“S-shut up, they’re gone now.”

He brought her in close, taking in her scent before pressing a flat tongue along the incision, Lapping up any remaining crimson that didn’t leave a mark on the pure white blouse.

“Thank you.”

“Tsk. don’t thank me idiot.”

——

“Come on Shuu, it’s your turn!” Yui squealed, the sleeping blond had missed the past turns, everyone groaned watching him crack his eye open, unbothered.

“I don’t even enjoy this, just go ahead for me.” he crossed his arms, sitting next to Yui on the couch, observing everyone’s moves.

“Damn man, you don’t have to be a buzzkill. Hey, you! Take his turn.” Ayato barked at the bride sitting calmly in the corner, tugging at the bandages wrapped around her neck that bothered her. The pale skin ached from how tight Subaru tied it, also the constant tugging and readjusting he went through to get it just right. He gave up after the third try, huffing and tying it lazily.

“I don't play pool.”

The redheads face dropped in anger,

“Does anyone take this shit seriously anymore? You all are just afraid to get beat by Ore-Sama!” he groaned, placing the stick down before slumping down onto the cushion.

“Don’t get so worked up Ayato! Bitch-Chan has a lot on her mind, she’s practically scratching for someone to pay mind to her!”

Laito appeared next to the girl, leaning in close. His pearly whites shine in the dim lighting of the room. Warm puffs of air tickled against her cheek, causing her to flinch.

“Fufu..Subaru’s not here, just tell me and I’ll tend to your needs~ We all know Subaru doesn’t.”

“No, it’s okay—I'm good.” She waved her hands in front of her face, blushing at the suggestive offer. Laito had begun trying to make advances towards her, his bride seemingly disappearing into thin air after that night. She wasn’t bothered though, Subaru wouldn’t allow it really.

“Are you sure Bitch-Chan?” The smirk on his face widened, amused at her flustered response. She nodded her head quickly, becoming silent for a moment before blurting out.

“What does Debu and Gaijin mean..?”

Two of the triplets laughed out loud, the corner of Shuu’s mouth turned upwards.

“Damn Chichinashi! Where’d you learn those words?”

The bride’s eyes blinked in surprise and widened, blushing before looking down at her lap. fidgeting with the hem of her skirt,

“Awe Bitch-Chan, did someone call you that at school..?”

“I mean, yeah..”

Yui’s face became worried, swinging her legs slowly over the couch and plopping down on the couch next to the bride.

“I’m sorry they were so mean to you… It’s not true.”

“What? Can you just tell me what it means..?”

Yui and Laito gave each other a quick look, but turned their gaze back to the confused girl.

“If you won’t tell her I will!” Ayato exclaimed, “Debu means fat, and Gaijin means foreigner.”

“What!?” The bride stood up abruptly, stomping to the silver floor mirror and standing before it.

“Am I really… Fat?” Twirling 360 in the mirror observing all the curves and dips on her body, poking at her belly whilst sighing.

“You’re bigger than most girls Bitch-Chan~ You know, more area back there.”

She stared at him with an annoyed expression, lifting her arm up and looking over her shoulder.

“I mean I work out so does it really matter if I’m larger…? I’m not even large! I'm healthy so what does it matter!”

The two laughed again. Kanato finally spoke up after watching the scene unfold,

“Dolls are frail and skinny, not muscular like you.”

Teddy rested on his lap, facing the girl twirl in the mirror. Its eyes suddenly held so much judgment, she had to contain her fright towards the stuffed bear.

“I think you’re beautiful! It doesn’t matter what they say, as long as you’re healthy.”

Yui complimented, smiling nervously whilst clasping her hands together.

A loud creaking caught their attention, Subaru and Reiji walked in simultaneously.

“The fuck you standing there for?” Subaru questioned

“Someone at school called Chichinashi here a fatso!”

All three of the triplets bursted out into boisterous laughter, the girl's face dropped into a low frown. Reiji rolled his eyes, pushing his glasses up before speaking.

“Whilst she may not be to our standards, I read in America they prioritize fitness and muscle training as opposed to striving for a lean structure here in this culture.” his eyes narrowed before speaking once again,

“I am glad I found you both are here, you and this lazy, good-for-nothing have something in common. I received word from your teacher that you were sleeping in class, now I also read in your file you were transferred here to seek advanced education, although I do not see how sleeping in class can be proof of that. Let me make this clear for you, I cannot have you sullying our name, so If I hear you are sleeping in class again, I will see to it that I punish you thoroughly.”

The triplets grew silent, giving each other looks trying their best to not snicker. Goosebumps grew on the girl's arms, her palms clammy from embarrassment.

“And you,” Reiji spat, awakening the blond sleeping vampire. Shuu cracked his eyes open, visibly annoyed that there was such a commotion surrounding him.

“It appears you are set to graduate this year. Although, I hardly believe you will make it through this semester before failing, like you always do.”

He smirked while crossing his arms, walking over to the couch and looking down on his older brother.

Everyone watched as the blond on the cushion sat up and swung his legs over the couch. Eyebrows furrowed downwards, his lips as well into a scowl.

“You just had to ruin the mood, like you always do.”

“Did I hit a nerve brother? Why don’t you lay down and sleep away the hours, something you’re familiar with?”

Shuu shot up off the couch, balling his fist,

“Playing the eldest doesn’t mark your title.”

Reiji’s smirk dropped, his shoulders tensed up but relaxed after realization the sets of eyes resting on his figure,

“I have done more for this household than your faltered brain could ever comprehend! Absolutely no one would miss you if you left—as a matter of fact, go ahead. Leave, see if anyone is this mansion bats a lash, go ahead and save the burden for the rest of—“

Reiji’s sentence was cut short by the sound of Shuu’s fist delivering a blow to his face. Contact between the two resulted in an immediate snap, blood spurring outwards on the ground, splattering on the black and white tile. Metal frames clinked against the floor, shattering the thin glass, scratching at the tile.

“If you want to carry on the name so desperately, for that man.. I’ll let you, this family means nothing to me.”

Yui’s face became sullen: If Shuu decided to leave, would he take her? He would be leaving her here to fend for herself with the other vampires available in the mansion, having that immunity meant she could last an eternity being tormented by these people—without an end in sight. For once, the girl didn’t feel a burning envy towards Yui. For once, she felt sorry, sorry and relieved that for once, she wasn’t being preyed upon.

Reiji sat on the floor, cradling his nose to stop the bleeding. His nose was bent, it wouldn’t be the perfect shape his father had gifted him with, Shuu had thoroughly deformed it with that one single hit, he also decided to leave with Yui while everyone watched as Reiji sat on the floor in disbelief, his eyes saucers racing with thought yet nothing could be said. The damage was done, he achieved the thing he wanted most, he was next in line.

“Tch. Let’s go,” Subaru whispered to the girl, pulling her away from the crime scene. Her eyes lingered on the splattered mess on the floor, Reiji was looking for a rag to clean the mess up.

———-

February 21, 2004

“Don’t forget me. Okay?”

The girls intertwined hands, staring at eachother one last time. Shuu had decided to bring Yui along after all. Everything was booked last night to ensure their departure,

“Where are you going..?”

“I don’t know, Shuu said somewhere far away.”

The girl squeezed Yui into a tight embrace, frowning with tears stinging at the whites of her eyes. Petting the blondes hair slowly,

“Please be safe Yui,” Her voice cracked with soft lips trembling, pulling away eventually. The driver slammed the trunk shut,

“I’m ready when you all are,” Said the driver, opening the limousine door. Shuu put his hand on Yui’s shoulder and looked down at her.

“I don’t want to be here a second longer,”

The girl walked next to Subaru. His eyes hard with unreadable emotion, watching as the blondes boarded, finally escaping. Triplets watched as well the sudden pause Shuu took before fully entering the limousine, his eyes softening observing the household he lived in all those years. Yui’s small hand waving an eternal goodbye to the inhabitants of the house, smiling with no worry. She was free. The door slammed behind them, simultaneously when the limousine began driving away. Subaru’s head following along the shrinking image.

“There goes our eldest, maybe we’ll lose another.”

Laito said, turning on his heels before walking inside. Other two triplets followed close after.

Her fingers turned blue from how long the two stood there, listening to the cold wind howl and prickle at their pale skin. Huddled together with their arms intertwined,

“May be time for us to go,” She pulled away from the albino, clasping her hands together before walking into the mansion as well.

Shuu’s words appeared in his mind, turning his head to see Reiji's figure in the window peering out into the darkness,

“Maybe,”.

[alonetogether47]

The Height of Love

Music: ok on your own by mxmtoon

It was a twenty minute walk—or a 10 minute skip—to the bridge, and I was in the mood to skip. I had just got off my classes, and now the sun clung to the horizon, casting fading rays onto the city. A faint chill permeated the evening air, but I didn’t mind in the slightest; after all, I was going to see Mai. I had bought a bouquet of purple flowers on the way, their stems stems swaying in the air wind as I made my way through town. 

Mai was waiting for me at the bridge. She didn’t notice me at first, her long black hair turned to face the koi that pranced in the riverbed. We’d only been together for a couple months, but we had known each other for years. We’d been inseparable ever since we met each other in our third year of high school, and we’d only grown closer since. Even though I initiated our friendship, it was her that asked me out. Ever since then, we've been together nearly every single day, and I was fine with that. More than fine. There was, after all, something absurdly intoxicating about being chosen. I felt like a stuffed animal at a toy shop, as a child with bright eyes looked me up and down, then nodded, satisfied, saying, “I want this one”.

“I brought you flowers,” I said, offering my bouquet. When she turned to face me, however, she wasn’t smiling like normal.

“Oh, thanks,” Mai said, taking the flowers gently.

I took her hand, gazing at the dancing koi as I waited for her to speak up. When she didn’t, I took it upon myself to initiate.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“You know I know you better than that.”

Mai’s gaze moved from the river to the twilight sky, tinged with streaks of indigo and pink. 

“I love you, you know that?”

“I do.”

“But I love you too much.” Mai said, turning to look at me. She was staring at me, but her eyes stretched past my form, all the way to the dying sun behind us.

“I don’t know who I am without you,” she said slowly, choosing her words carefully. “I love you more than I love myself.  Even now, I’m holding myself back from devouring you, and that scares me.”

“I wouldn’t mind being devoured, if it was you.”

“Don’t you understand? Right now, we’re two halves of a whole, not two wholes of a pair.”

“You’re talking metaphorically again,” I smirked. Mai sighed, shaking her head.

“Then let me be frank. You don’t have any other friends, do you?” she asked. I blinked.

“Don’t worry, I’m the same. We only have each other, the two of us,” she continued, plucking a single flower from the bouquet. She let it drift lazily down into the river, where it was quickly swept away by the current.

“What we have is a good thing. Isn’t codependency the height of love?” I insisted. Mai tilted her head again, lost in thought.

“Yes, but not that of a person,” she finally replied, squeezing the bouquet of flowers, but not my hand. “A person’s potential is not measured by love alone. And us...we're holding each other back.”

“So that’s it, then?” I asked, at a loss for words. “You just want to be done, just like that?” 

Mai paused again.

“Yes. I love you, so I can’t be with you,” she said finally. “We’ll meet again, once we’ve learned how to fill in our other halves.”

This time, I understood the weight behind her metaphors. She took me in her arms, and I sank into her shoulder. I held her tightly because she was all I had known, and because I didn’t want to be alone.

Image Credit by nobrakes1875

[delimeful]

hold my body down (2)

chapter 2 of this fic!

warnings: arguing, mild violence, cult mentions, mild gore mentions

-

Virgil stared at the man, his mind blank. What?

“That’s-- great?” Roman tried, his voice cracking in the middle with bewilderment. The human beamed, beckoning with his hand. Roman reached out and Virgil slapped his hand back, glowering at him.

“What have I said about accepting help from random friendly men?” he hissed, eyeing the stranger warily. Roman flushed, shoving him slightly, but notably didn’t try to move forward again.

The man-- Patton’s smile didn’t falter, but his hand dropped slightly. Virgil refused to feel bad. For once, he was completely sure that his level of paranoia was necessary for the situation.

“Oh, that’s okay,” Patton said, folding onto his knees to sit on the edge of the bag’s opening. “I can just explain from over here. I would come to sit in the bag with you, but last time I did that I got held hostage and Logan put a ban on interacting with terrified strangers without his direct supervision.”

“That, uh, seems rather fair,” Roman offered, still wildly out of his depth. Virgil rolled his eyes, a hand on the hilt of one of his daggers in case the stranger made any sudden moves.

“Who’s Logan?” He asked, eyes flickering up to what little he could see through the opening.

“Oh, he’s the one who rescued you!” Patton said cheerily. Virgil broke out into a cold sweat immediately.

“Rescued?” Roman echoed in disbelief. “Are you talking about the giant? Because I’m pretty sure he just abducted us against our will.”

“No, no, it’s not like that!” Patton insisted, only confirming Virgil’s theory that he was probably brainwashed and/or had Stockholm syndrome. Or both. Or a variety of other, worse options, such as yet another cult member or another giant in disguise.

“Easy, Virgil.” Roman laid a hand on his shoulder, grounding him. “Uh-- Patton, was it? If we’re not being… y’know… kidnapped and imprisoned, do you think you could back up so we can get out of the bag?”

“Of course!” Patton answered, popping back to his feet. “I’ll be right out here, take your time! I’m sure the last couple of hours have been rough.”

Virgil tried not to snort. Rough was one word for it. His amusement died a quick death when Roman began moving towards the opening. He latched onto the other man’s arm like a steel trap. “I don’t trust this.”

“You don’t trust anything,” Roman retorted automatically before softening. “It’s okay, I’m just checking to see what’s out there. Won’t even get out of the bag, on my honor.”

Virgil reluctantly followed him, grabbing onto him tightly as though he could keep anything out there from hurting him by yanking him back into the bag.

Roman ducked his head back under the cloth a moment later. “Okay. Bad news, there is absolutely a giant still out there. Good news, he’s all the way over across the room, reading a book. He is steadfastly ignoring both us and Patton, who waved at me.”

“What.” Virgil clutched at his hair. “What is going on?”

“I suspect we’ll have to ask Patton that. If we want answers, we’ll have to go get them,” He said, patting Virgil on the back encouragingly. “Don’t worry, my Dark and Stormy Knight, I’ll keep you safe.”

“My job,” Virgil grumbled, not releasing his grip on Roman’s wrist as he led the way out of the bag.

Everything was huge. He should have expected it, seeing as this was a giant’s home, but it still threw him off. They were on a huge table, in a huge living room, and the giant was indeed across the room with a huge book, pretending like they didn’t exist. From this distance, Virgil could actually take in all of him without feeling like he was going to pass out.

Patton was sitting a few feet away, and beamed at their approach. Virgil barely tore his eyes away from the giant long enough to nod distractedly at him. “Hi again! Are you guys okay?”

“We’re… fine,” Roman said, uncertain. “I think we’d just like to know what’s going on?”

“That’s totally understandable!” Patton replied, sympathetic. “I was pretty jittery after Logan first brought me here, too!”

“Oh, great,” Virgil muttered to Roman. “Serial kidnapper.”

Roman shot him a look before turning back to Patton. “He brought you here? Could I ask… why?”

“The same reason he brought you two here! I was in danger.” Patton glanced over to the giant with a fond smile before leaning in secretively. “To be honest, I think he was even more worried than I was! I was sort of stabbed at the time, though, so I guess that makes sense.”

“How were you ‘sort of stabbed’? You’re either stabbed or you’re not!” griped Virgil, who was possibly feeling more snappish than normal after one of the most stressful experiences of his life.

“My goodness, you were stabbed?” asked Roman, who had always been a sucker for a dramatic tale.

Patton tugged up the edge of his shirt, displaying a nasty-looking scar that curved around his side and stomach. In Virgil’s professional opinion, there was nothing ‘sort-of’ about a wound like that; it had been meant to kill. “Yeah, the people you met in town, they’re a cult! And they wanted to do a blood sacrifice for the monsters in the woods, and I wasn’t exactly well-liked, so…,”

“They stabbed you and left you for dead?” Virgil finished, a bit of anger leaking into his voice despite his determination not to sympathize with this guy.

“But I didn’t die!” Patton waved his hands a bit as though in celebration. “All the monsters in the woods had already been scared off when Logan moved here, and so he was the one who found me and helped me recover!”

Roman glanced over at the giant again, a speculative look in his eye that Virgil absolutely did not approve of. He scowled, his grip on Roman’s wrist tightening slightly.

“Right, and he just did this out of the goodness of his heart?” Virgil snorted dubiously. “I wouldn’t believe that from another human, let alone someone with a literally huge advantage over us. If your story is true, why didn’t the cult try to gut us? For that matter, if he’s not into human sacrifices, why wouldn’t your buddy over there just tell them to stop? Or, y’know, not kidnap us in the first place?”

“Well, hold on--,” Patton tried, but Virgil was on a roll.

“How do we know that this isn’t some elaborate setup? If he has the magical capabilities to heal a mortal wound, then wouldn’t it be easy for him to enchant a captive into believing that he’s just doing what’s best for him? Before, you said there were other people brought here-- what happened to them? Do you even know?”

Across the room, there was a sharp clap as the giant firmly snapped his book shut.

“They left,” Logan said firmly, the first words that they’d heard from him. “And if you continue to harangue my housemate, I will ask you to do the same.”

“Logan,” Patton said, a little exasperated.

Virgil felt a chill run down his spine at the sight of those huge, dark eyes locked onto him, but he plastered his best snarl on even as he dragged a protesting Roman partially behind him. “We’d be glad to leave, but someone put us on a table ten times our height!”

“Virgil,” Roman tried, but Virgil didn’t have the luxury of not paying attention to the pissed off giant in front of them.

“There’s a staircase down to your left,” the giant informed him coldly, “so if you are intent on watching your companion die from organ combustion, you have my utmost permission to leave.”

Logan!” Patton chided, a lot exasperated. He turned back to them. “He doesn’t mean it like that, I promise.”

“Really?” Virgil snapped, crowding Roman back further. “Because it sure sounds like he just outright threatened to kill us if we leave.”

“Oh, for goodness’ sake.” Logan pinched the bridge of his nose before rising easily from his chair and reminding them all just how big he truly was. “This is why I let Patton handle the talking. I don’t know why humans always insist on making this more difficult than it needs to be.”

Virgil’s heart jumped into his throat as the giant approached, a thousand potential ways they were going to die flashing before his eyes. Behind his back, he flashed Roman a hand sign that meant ‘run for it’, and then released his friend’s wrist to draw one of his knives threateningly.

It was a pointless effort, but he’d known since setting out with his prince that one day he’d die for him.

Sure enough, the giant moved with that same uncanny speed he’d shown in the clearing, and simply grabbed Virgil’s forearm between his fingers as easily as one might scruff a cat, preventing any stabbing.

When Virgil immediately went to grab for another knife with his free hand, he found himself abruptly lifted and maneuvered, and couldn’t help letting out a startled yelp. The giant had essentially flipped him onto his front and settled one hand on his back as a weight, leaving him pinned and the giant firmly out of stabbing range.

More concerning was the fact that he could now see Roman, who hadn’t moved more than a few steps, and not just because he was a stupidly loyal, headstrong idiot. The prince seemed almost dazed, his skin shiny with sweat as he glanced between Virgil and Logan. Something was wrong. “Roman--!”

“You’re beginning to feel it, aren’t you?” Logan said, his cold tone thawing slightly as he looked down at Roman. “The cult of that town has only grown more... inventive with every cruel sacrifice they attempt. Rather than physical injuries, they’ve turned to blood curses, which has made my life exceedingly difficult.”

“Blood-- Blood curses?” Roman managed, looking more pallid by the moment.

The giant set a free hand down, palm up in offering. “I can reduce the effects. If you give me sufficient time, I can unravel the curse entirely, though brewing a countercurse will likely necessitate a drop of your blood.”

“Why go to the trouble?” Roman asked haltingly, meeting Virgil’s frantic gaze for only a moment. “What do you want in return?”

Logan sighed. “If you insist on applying such intentions to my actions, you can call it compensation. It is because of my presence that the cult continues to leave ‘offerings’, and thus your current state is my fault.”

“Then why not just do it?” Roman asked, staring at the offered hand with clear suspicion. Virgil was almost proud.

“Patton has gone to great lengths to teach me manners for interacting with smallfolk,” Logan replied dryly. “The first of which being ‘don’t grab.’”

There was a brief moment of silence as they all looked to Virgil, who was still pinned and sorely wishing he was in biting range of Logan’s hand.

“Manners don’t apply if someone is trying to stab me,” Logan added, a beat late.

Patton waved from where he was half-hidden behind Logan’s arm. “It’s true, my lessons did make an exception for stabbing!”

“Let him up,” Roman requested, his voice lacking its usual bravado. He still appeared concerningly ill. “He won’t stab you, right Virgil?”

Virgil grumbled something uncomplimentary under his breath, before sighing and going limp. “All I want is to protect my prince. If you actually mean to help him, I won’t stab you.”

“Now that stabbing is off the table, I’ve gotta say, it’s knife to meet you,” Patton chimed in, his grin audible in his voice.

“Patton, please,” Logan groaned, lifting his hand off Virgil to instead massage his temples in exasperation. “You’re going to disturb our guests.”

“Aw, are you sure? I think my jokes are stabsolutely hilarious!”

Virgil ignored the ridiculous byplay between the two of them to scramble to his feet and hurry to Roman’s side, ignoring the way Logan moved his arm slightly to be between him and Patton. “Roman, are you okay?”

“Are you? You’re the one who just got gently tenderized by Bignoramus over there for the second time today,” Roman countered, matching Virgil’s whisper.

“Fine, stupid question, clearly neither of us are okay. Are we really doing this, though? We could still run.”

“I’m… not sure we can, actually.” Roman’s hand hovered over his chest, face drawn tight with pain. “They definitely did something to me, and I doubt either of us will figure out how to fix it or get aid in time. … Look. This may be my only option, but you don’t have to--”

“Can it, Princey,” Virgil cut in, dragging a hand through Roman’s hair roughly and ignoring his resulting squawk. “Where you go, I go.”

“Even there?” Roman asked, tilting his head toward Logan’s palm somberly.

Virgil looked over to Logan, watching the attentive way he was listening to Patton speak and contributing words of his own. The giant could have done away with any of them at any point, and he hadn’t. That wasn’t enough to really trust him, it could still all be part of some scheme, but... it had to count for something.

If it was the only thing that could help Roman, Virgil could push aside his fear and his anger.

“Even there,” he answered, and led the way onwards.

[collapse-and-comfort]

Love your blog! Can I ask for a sick fic with some comfort? The whumpee ignoring symptoms and pushing on until they collapse. So the caretaker carries them to bed, and looks after the whumpee the next few days. The whumpee is weak and scared because they’ve never been that badly sick. But they don’t want to go to hospital (maybe bad experiences before).

🌡🤒🌡Thank you so much!!! Sorry this took so long. It just kind of kept going and ended up being a little over 4K words! I hope you enjoy! (I'm going to tag @lurkingwhump because I know you were interested in a story like this! I'd also be remiss if I didn't mention @i-write-whump because her prompts were constantly on my mind while I was writing this.) 🌡🤒🌡

Whumpee watched their interviewee’s retreating back. They’d been less a lead and more an aggravation. The beat of an eighties pop song made their headache (and their mood) worse and they closed their eyes and pinched the bridge of their nose.

“You good?”

“Yeah,” Whumpee said as they tapped a thumb on the table and tried to ignore the growing ache in their throat. “Let’s go.”

They walked back to Whumpee’s apartment to review information. It amounted to tirespinning and tail chasing. The longer the evening went, the more difficult it became for Whumpee to concentrate. They tossed a file onto their coffee table with the rest of the information they were pouring over. They leaned back on their couch and closed their eyes. No matter how they tried to will their headache away, it continued to compound itself. An ache and a chill were working their way into Whumpee’s body. They didn’t need to look at Caretaker to know they were watching them with questions on their tongue and concern in their eyes.

“Getting late,” Caretaker said.

“Late” was several hours ago.

“Mmhhm,” Whumpee said without opening their eyes. They weren’t taking the bait. “You’d better get going. We’ve got an early start tomorrow.”

“Right,” Caretaker said with a dubious quirk in their brow. They left, but they gave Whumpee ample time  to reconsider, to tell them they needed a break, or help. Or something.

Whumpee sat on their couch in silence as the chill in their body intensified. They refused to believe they were getting sick. Allergies, exhaustion. Had to be. They couldn’t even remember the last time they were ill. Whumpee groaned as they heaved themself up. The room spun and they closed their eyes until the dizziness passed. A string of expletives played in their head as they found their way down the hall and into the restroom.

They dry swallowed some pills that had likely exceeded their expiration date and they avoided catching sight of the flushed, hollow-eyed specter they would see if they looked in the mirror.

They didn’t bother struggling out of their clothes before curling up beneath their covers and dropping into a fitful sleep.

Whumpee woke to someone banging - no, just insistent, undemanding knocking the way their partner always did - on their door. They pawed at their nightstand in search of their phone, but it was nowhere to be found. They peeled their eyes open and wondered how long Caretaker had been knocking. They disentangled themself from their covers and slowly rolled their way off the mattress.

Too hot, they thought as they willed themself, one foot after the other, to make the distance from their room to their door.

When they opened up, Caretaker stepped in with a coffee in each hand. Their affable expression faltered when they looked at Whumpee. If Caretaker noticed Whumpee was wearing the same clothes they’d been dressed in the previous evening - and of course they did - they didn’t mention it.

“Shit,” Caretaker said as they handed Whumpee a cup. “Guess I should have brought you tea instead, huh?”

“As long as it had sugar in it,” Whumpee said before clearing their throat and grimacing at the sensation and the way their voice rasped. “Just give me a minute.”

---

“We can pass this off,” Caretaker suggested by mid-morning. They could. They knew several of their teammates were dying to sink their teeth into this case and there was no harm in letting them.

They watched as Whumpee rested their head against the passenger side window. Whumpee didn’t respond, but Caretaker knew what they would say. They couldn’t put this on hold; they had to finish it. Besides, I’m fine.

“Right,” Caretaker said. They felt as though that one, marginally passive aggressive word, was becoming their personal mantra. They couldn’t make Whumpee do something they didn’t want to do, and while they’d never seen Whumpee with so much as a sniffle, they knew Whumpee would run themself into the ground regardless of whether or not they had a job to do.

God forbid you take care of yourself, Caretaker thought.

The day wore on like that. Caretaker doubted the small measures Whumpee was taking to make themself less miserable - resting or rubbing their eyes, pulling their coat tighter around themself - were cries for help. Each time they asked Whumpee if they were okay, they were rewarded with a glare or a surly shrug.

The evening found them back in Whumpee’s apartment. Caretaker had grown genuinely worried about Whumpee. They watched as Whumpee stared at the same paper they’d been holding for the past ten minutes. They shut their eyes and slouched forward in their chair before closing their eyes. Caretaker frowned at the way Whumpee’s jaws were clenched, the way their shoulders were bunched, and the way their face was flushed. Whumpee’s clothes looked rumpled and uncomfortable. Not exactly surprising since they were the same ones they’d been wearing the previous day.

“You’re half asleep, Whumpee. Why don’t you at least change into some fresh clothing?”

They expected a brusque reply, but Whumpee put down the paper and nodded without looking at Caretaker. That set off warning bells.

Whumpee used the coffee table to steady themself as they rose and Caretaker reached out to help when they saw how badly Whumpee’s arms were shaking.

“I’m fine,” Whumpee muttered as they stood to their full height.

“Bullshit,” Caretaker said as they stood too. They’d spent the entire day watching Whumpee suffer needlessly and they’d had enough. “You can’t keep pushing yourself.”

Caretaker waited for Whumpee to tell them how they’d be better in the morning, or they’re just tired, or...

Whumpee swayed on their feet and their eyes rolled back before their knees buckled and dropped to the floor with jarring force. Caretaker swore as they quickly closed the distance between them and caught Whumpee’s upper body before they could fall the rest of the way. Whumpee let out a distant-sounding moan as their forehead rolled on Caretaker’s shoulder. As Caretaker held Whumpee’s chest against their own, they were shocked at the heat rolling off of Whumpee.

How the hell did Whumpee let themself get this bad?!

Caretaker didn’t berate Whumpee for neglecting themself. Rather, they gathered Whumpee in their arms. There was a flash of confusion, then annoyance on Whumpee’s face. Caretaker pretended they didn’t see the latter emotion.

“Just gonna get you to bed,” they said.

Then possibly to the hospital, they added in their head.

Whumpee didn’t put up a fight as Caretaker carried them back the hall and to their room. Caretaker angled themself so as not to run Whumpee’s head into a wall or door frame. They were unsurprised to find that Whumpee had left their covers a tangled mess. They set Whumpee down and helped them into a seated position while they straightened the covers as best they could. Caretaker circled back around to where Whumpee sat and all the aggravation they’d felt at Whumpee for not taking better care of themself fled them completely.

Whumpee’s arms hung at their sides, their mouth was part way open and their eyes were glassy. Without worrying about Whumpee’s sensibilities, Caretaker put their palm on Whumpee’s forehead.

“You’re burning up, Whumpee,” they said. That Whumpee was running a fever was far from surprising, but the sickly heat that was coming off of them was no less worrying to feel. “Jesus, how long have you been sick?”

“Few days,” Whumpee said. They looked up at Caretaker with wounded pride and they tried to pull away when Caretaker cupped their neck with their hands.

“Sshh,” Caretaker said as they gently pressed their fingers against Whumpee’s throat. They winced at how swollen Whumpee’s glands felt beneath their fingertips.

They frowned and idly swept a damp lock of hair from Whumpee’s forehead and decided what to do.

“Okay,” they said. “Is there anything we need to bring with us to the hospital?”

Whatever indignation and bravado were left in Whumpee disappeared. Whumpee’s eyes went a little wider and they shrank back from Caretaker as they drew in several sharp breaths as they shook their head.

“No. No hospitals.”

“Whumpee, you passed out and you’re running a high fever. I really-”

“No!”

Whumpee tried to stand, but Caretaker stopped them before they could land on the floor again. Caretaker put one hand on Whumpee’s shoulder and held onto one of Whumpee’s arms, trying to hold them as steadily and as gently as possible.

“Woah, woah, woah,” Caretaker said. They kept their voice low as Whumpee landed back on the bed and began to struggle. “Easy, Whumpee. Hey, it’s okay. Calm down. It’s okay. Hey, hey, look at me.”

Whumpee’s energy flagged and finally, their wary, fever-bright eyes found Caretaker’s.

“That’s it, Whumpee.”

Caretaker knew Whumpee had a thing about hospitals, but they never would have guessed it was this bad. Had their fever amplified that fear, or had it simply laid it bare?

“No hospitals.”

Caretaker sighed and nodded. It wasn’t going to do either of them any good to drag Whumpee, half out of their mind with a fever, into an emergency room. Maybe they could talk Whumpee into it if it came to that. Or maybe they’d call an ambulance. Caretaker let go of Whumpee’s arm and rubbed their shoulder. Their heart went out to Whumpee when they felt their breathing hitch beneath their palm.

“Okay,” Caretaker conceded. “No hospitals. But we have to get your temperature down. Where do you keep your thermometer?

“I’ve never been this sick before,” Whumpee said. Their voice was thick and apologetic as they dropped their gaze.

No thermometer, then, Caretaker concluded as they alternated between rubbing and patting Whumpee’s shoulder.

“Okay, what about some Tylenol?”

Whumpee paused and thought about it.

“Above the bathroom sink.”

Caretaker located the bottle. Empty. They sighed, discarded it, and moved to the kitchen. They rummaged through Whumpee’s fridge, but settled on taking them a glass of water. Whumpee sat where they left them.

“I want you to drink some of this,” they said as they pressed the glass into Whumpee’s hands. “I’m going to go pick up a few things, okay?”

Whumpee looked from the glass and back up to Caretaker. They nodded and took several sips of water before setting the glass on their nightstand. Caretaker took note of the way they winced each time they swallowed.

““Do you think you’d be more comfortable in different clothing?”

Whumpee gave them a tired mmhmm and tried to lift themself again.

“I got it,” Caretaker said as they put up a staying hand. “Let me help.”

Whumpee directed them to the bottom drawer of their dresser. Caretaker selected a pair of black athletic shorts and an overly large gray tee shirt. Whumpee didn’t protest when Caretaker helped them out of their old clothes and into the new ones. Whatever energy Whumpee had was depleted and they allowed themself to be helped down to the mattress without complaint. They used one arm to unevenly pull their covers back over themself. Caretaker refrained from helping them pull the covers more completely over them.

They didn’t want to leave Whumpee like this for any amount of time, but if they were going to help them, they needed to. Caretaker fetched Whumpee’s cell phone from the living room and put it on the nightstand next to the water.

“I’ll be back soon, but if you need anything, just call.”

All told, it took them about a half an hour for them to visit a drug store and a convenience store - both within walking distance - to gather what they needed and return. They organized everything on the counter, then took the immediate essentials to Whumpee’s room.

Whumpee was asleep beneath their covers and the water sat, untouched, on the nightstand. Caretaker regretted that they needed to wake them up. They put a hand on Whumpee’s forehead - still far too warm - then patted their cheek.

“Hey, Whumpee,” they said. “I need you to wake up for a minute, okay?”

“Mmm?” Whumpee mumbled as they looked up at Caretaker with bleary, half-lidded eyes.

“Just gonna get your temperature,” they said as they held up the oral thermometer they’d bought.

Whumpee frowned.

“It’s clean,” Caretaker said, though they doubted that was Whumpee’s objection. They leaned down and put the tip of the thermometer to Whumpee’s lips. “C’mon.”

Thankfully, Whumpee did as they were asked.

“Keep it under your tongue,” Caretaker told them, letting memories of their mother be their guide.

Whumpee kept their eyes closed while the thermometer worked, but they opened them again when the beepbeepbeep sounded. They reached for the offending instrument, but Caretaker halted them.

“Just leave it for a sec,” they said. Part of them didn’t want to see the reading, didn’t want the numbers to force their hand with Whumpee’s care.

They removed the thermometer and turned it so they could see the segmented, digital numbers.

“One-oh-three point nine,” Caretaker said, frowning at the thermometer as though it were to blame.

Not great, Caretaker thought, though they knew it could be worse. They tried to remember if they’d seen Whumpee eat anything the past couple of days. They picked up the new bottle of Tylenol, but paused when they saw Whumpee’s face. Whumpee’s jaw clenched as they clumsily wiped a tear away, They crouched down at Whumpee’s side - the pills rattled as they did so - and they put a hand on Whumpee’s arm.

Caretaker cursed themself for not stepping in earlier, for not seeing just how sick Whumpee was, for not making Whumpee take better care of themself. The latter was easier said than done, of course, but now it seemed the confirmation that they were sick was too much for Whumpee to bear.

“Okay,” they said, speaking more gently than they could ever remember speaking to Whumpee. Overt tenderness, or any other sort of tenderness for that matter, had never been a part of their dynamic. Whumpee let themself sniffle and that led to a coughing fit. Caretaker seated themself on the mattress next to Whumpee and patted their back as they waited for the coughing to pass. “It’s okay. I know this sucks. We’ve gotta work on getting your temp down, though, so I want you to take these pills.”

Caretaker helped them lean up and take the pills.

“You need to drink more, too,” Caretaker said, careful not to sound like they were scolding them. They wondered how much longer Whumpee would have let themself go without some sort of aid. A niggling thought worked its way into Caretaker’s mind. There was the very real possibility Whumpee had never had anyone to care for them in this way.

Caretaker gave Whumpee’s forearm a squeeze and then stood.

“Be right back,” they said.

They returned with a cool, damp washcloth. Caretaker swept Whumpee’s hair back and put the cloth on their forehead.

“Cold,” they murmured without opening their eyes.

“I know,” Caretaker said as they sat down on the edge of the bed. “Just don’t want your brain to get cooked.”

Whumpee hummed in agreement and laid still. Their breathing evened out and Caretaker removed the cloth when it had taken on as much of Whumpee’s body heat as it could. Whumpee didn’t stir while Caretaker repeated the process several times.

Once they were sure Whumpee was resting soundly enough, Caretaker went about the business turning their case over to other, equally competent hands. They didn’t look forward to telling Whumpee, but they’d cross that bridge when they had to.

When Caretaker returned to  Whumpee’s room, Whumpee was curled on their side. Their mouth was open and their breathing was deep. Caretaker risked placing the back of their hand on Whumpee’s forehead. Still warm, but it was better.

All was quiet until just after one in the morning. Whumpee stirred and Caretaker sat upright in the recliner in the corner of the room. Whumpee rolled onto their back and pawed at the covers.

“Hey,” Caretaker said as they walked over to the side of the bed. They put a hand on Whumpee’s shoulder and shook it a little bit. “You good, Whumpee?”

Whumpee’s eyes slid open and settled on Caretaker. It took a moment, but Caretaker could see the memory of the evening return to them.

“Too warm,” they rasped.

“Fever’s breaking,” Caretaker said with a nod as they helped Whumpee off with the covers. To Whumpee’s chagrin, Caretaker got their temp again, though that time it was a much more agreeable ninety-nine point eight.

“Don’t have to stay,” Whumpee mumbled as they rubbed a hand over their face.

Yes I do, Caretaker thought.

“It’s no problem,” they said with a shrug. “Besides, I know your WiFi password. Can I get you anything?”

Whumpee swallowed and grimaced as though there was a bad taste in their mouth.

“Drink?”

Caretaker brought them ginger ale, more pills and chapstick. Whumpee was quick to fall back to sleep after that.

Whumpee’s fever spiked again in the morning, though it was nowhere near as harrowing. What worried Caretaker was how pliant Whumpee had become. Just more evidence of how run down they’d let themself get.

After they took a shower, Whumpee set up camp in the living room and Caretaker took the opportunity to change the bedclothes. It was a small thing, but sometimes those provided the most comfort. Caretaker knew they were well on their way to becoming a mother hen, but they couldn’t quite bring themself to care.

Caretaker waited for the inevitable questions about work, but they never came. Caretaker wondered if Whumpee already knew what they’d done. The day wore on and Whumpee alternated between dozing and trying to watch whatever brainless actioner Caretaker opted to play. Their blanket was on. Their blanket was off.

Caretaker intermittently cleared away tissues when they began to accumulate around Whumpee. Caretaker plied them with a steady stream of drinks (Tea with honey seemed most effective.), and in the early evening, despite their declaration that they weren’t hungry, Whumpee managed to eat some soup. Caretaker extended a hand to take the dishes away when Whumpee was done. Whumpee started to say something, but their words fell off and they looked down at their lap when Caretaker took the dishes from them.

Caretaker wanted to reassure them, but they knew whatever they said in that moment would sound useless and patronizing to Whumpee. Maybe the best thing they could do was give Whumpee some alone time. At least for as long as it took Caretaker to pick up some things from their own place.

When Caretaker got back Whumpee was ready for bed. Caretaker regarded them. Their cheeks were flushed again and their eyes were glassy. Caretaker asked them the same questions they’d been asking them all day. How’s your throat? You okay? Do you need anything?

“I’m just tired,” Whumpee said as they started off with shuffling steps towards their room.

“Okay.” Caretaker calculated the time they’d remind Whumpee to take more pills like the world’s most proactive medi-minder. They chewed their lip as they watched Whumpee go. They hoped they got some rest. “Let me know if you need anything.”

That night, Caretaker dozed in the couch, but a single whimper from Whumpee’s room woke them. They crossed the room and fumbled for the lamp’s switch. The golden light revealed Whumpee, sweating and tangled in their covers. Their eyes were dazed and frightful; their mouth opened and they let out a pathetic groan as they pulled themself toward the edge of the bed.

“Whumpee,” Caretaker said as they put a hand on Whumpee’s shoulder; they were looking at them, but they weren’t seeing them.  “Hey, Whumpee.”

“Nonono,” Whumpee said. Their voice was far off, but it sounded no less distressed. “Stop Don't Please. It Hurts. N-”

Whumpee came awake and they panted as they braced themself on their elbows. They recoiled from Caretaker’s touch with a whimper and their feet worked at kicking their covers away.

“It’s okay, Whumpee,” Caretaker said. “Ssh. You’re safe. I promise you’re safe, Whumpee.”

They risked putting a hand back on Whumpee’s shoulder. They reminded themself to stay calm for Whumpee’s sake. A sob escaped Whumpee as they fell onto their side, breathing hard. Their feet stil moved ineffectually under the covers.

Caretaker pulled the blankets off of Whumpee and they stopped trying to escape whatever was hunting them. Caretaker grabbed the thermometer and the tissue box before sitting down next to Whumpee and began rubbing the curve of their shoulder.

“It’s okay,” they repeated. “Shshsh. Just a bad dream.”

Was it, though? How dramatically had their fever spiked?

After a bout of coughing, Caretaker offered Whumpee a tissue. Whumpee blew their nose before Caretaker tried to get them to take the thermometer in their mouth. Whumpee turned their face away and pursed their lips. Caretaker might have found humor in the sheer petulence of the gesture had Whumpee not looked so scared.

“C’mon, Whumpee. I’ve gotta see your temp.”

“No,” Whumpee said as they reached with a weak hand, trying to bat away the thermometer.

Caretaker caught Whumpee’s clammy hand and lowered it to the bed.

“I’ve gotta know how bad it is, Whumpee. It’ll just take a minute.”

“Don’t…” Whumpee said as they looked at Caretaker with unfocused eyes. “Don’t take me to the hospital. I can’t be there.”

“I’m just-”

“I can’t.”

Caretaker took a breath. They couldn’t let Whumpee work themself into a lather.

“You’re just coming out of a nightmare, Whumpee. Just give things a minute to make sense.”

“I-”

Whumpee cut themself off; Caretaker hadn’t said whatever they’d expected to hear.

“Just focus on me for a minute. Can you try to do that?”

They nodded, blinked and looked at Caretaker as though they were actually seeing them. Silence fell between them. Whumpee took a deep breath and rested their head back on their pillow and stared at the opposite wall.

“Okay,” they said finally. They allowed Caretaker to place the thermometer under their tongue. It seemed to take an eternity for the thermometer to beep. Caretaker took it back and before looking at it, they prayed to whoever or whatever might be listening that they didn't have to get Whumpee to a hospital.

“One-oh-two point six,” Caretaker said with relief. “That's not so bad. Just a bad dream that did a number on you.”

The lines of Whumpee’s face relaxed and they rested on the pillow, but some sort of melancholy had taken the place of Whumpee’s fear. It was an equally disheartening sight.

“Need anything?” Caretaker asked after they went through the routine they seemed to have established in nursing their friend.

“No.”

“Okay, ” Caretaker said. “Just let me know if you do.”

Caretaker stood and pulled a blanket back over Whumpee, who took its edge in their hand and pulled it to their chin.

“Wait,” Whumpee said when Caretaker turned.

Caretaker paused and looked back at Whumpee.

“Can you…” Whumpee looked at them, their eyes begging Caretaker to understand. “Can you stay?”

What had they dreamed that had them so rattled?

“Of course, ” they said. They settled back down next to Whumpee and swept Whumpee’s hair out of their face. “Whatever you need.”

Whumpee slept late the next morning and Caretaker took the time to tidy the apartment and ask for updates on the case. It had been solved.

When Whumpee came out into the living room, they made a beeline for their recliner. Though Caretaker was constantly present, they exchanged few words and Caretaker could tell Whumpee was putting effort into avoiding their gaze. The news that the case had been resolved seemed to do little to cheer them.

After cleaning the lunch mess, and doing dishes Caretaker sat on the side of the couch that was closest to Whumpee.

“You didn’t have to do that,” Whumpee said without taking their gaze off of the TV.

“It’s no problem.”

More silence. Whumpee dozed off and Caretaker channel surfed.

Caretaker chose a book from Whumpee’s shelf.

Caretaker read the same sentence five damn times before giving up and putting the book on the coffee table.

Whumpee jolted awake with a gasp. Their fingers dug into the armrests and their eyes darted over the room as though they’d woken up somewhere entirely foreign. They cursed and let out a harsh breath.

Caretaker guessed embarrassment, and not sickness, colored Whumpee’s cheeks.

“It’s fine,” Whumpee said before Caretaker could ask.

Whumpee stood, shakily at first, then walked to the kitchen. Caretaker knew any attempt to help them would be rebuffed, so they waited for Whumpee to stare into the refrigerator before they selected a bottle of water before moving back to their seat.

Whumpee sat and sipped.

Caretaker needed to address the elephant in the room. Or at least let Whumpee know the elephant could stay where it was.

“We don’t have to talk about it. You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to,” Caretaker said. “But I hope you know you can if you need to.”

Whumpee’s fingers worried at the armrests.

“I do. I do know. I’m just not used to...” Whumpee’s voice was low but solemn as they gestured toward all the signs of care that had been taken on their behalf. “... to any of this.”

Caretaker wanted to pull them close and tell them how sorry they were to hear that, that they never needed to hesitate to ask for help. They didn’t know what they could possibly say to make it better. Instead, they flashed the easygoing smile that had been missing from their features for the past couple days.

“Well,” they said. “Get used to it.”

[yandere-daydreams]

half-spider half-human yandere with a darling who has arachnophobia

I think I’ve just been in a Yandere!Monster mood this week - I don’t know how else to explain what I’ve been posting, recently. Can you blame me, though? They’re so easy to run from, so easy to be afraid of… It’s only natural that they make good Yanderes.

Title: Arachnophobia.

TW: Spiders, Dehumanization, Mentions of Injury, and Mentions of Death. 

~

It’d always been the legs, for you.

You weren’t squeamish. If it hadn’t been for the legs, you wouldn’t mind spiders at all. The uncharacteristic fuzz that coated their bodies, those unblinking eyes that were too big and too small at the same time, their distorted proportions and awful fangs and general wrongness, you could take all of that, even if you didn’t care for it. Their legs were the only thing that got to you, the only thing that made you fear the tiny, harmless creatures beyond all reason. You weren’t blind, you knew there were much worse things to be scared of, and yet, nothing sent a chill up your spine like the thought of an insect no bigger than your thumb crawling up the back of your leg or finding its way into your hair, its steps so light and silent, you wouldn’t know its there, not until it’s already made its fangs at home under your skin. It’s irrational, or, it was irrational, at least. It used to be.

Ikto wasn’t harmless. You didn’t have to tell yourself not to be afraid of him.

If anything, you should be more afraid than you’ve ever been. It wasn’t like he hadn’t given you a reason to be.

You cried out as you collapsed, the noise somewhere between a defeated sigh and a desperate scream, too quiet to do you any good but too loud to go unnoticed in the stillness of the darkened forest. It’d been childish to go into the woods alone, it’d been stupid, and you’d known that when you came up with the idea. Still, you hadn’t thought it’d been stupid enough to get you killed. The legends told of a creature who spun web like rope, who could string up a group of hunters in translucent silk so quickly, they wouldn’t have time to notice they were being trapped, not before it was too late to get away. You weren’t a hunter, though, and you didn’t mean him any harm. You’d told yourself that a glimpse would be enough for you to overcome your fear, all you needed to do was look at him, and you’d never think twice about the spiders in your garden or the dark corners of your home again. But, you’d tripped, made a mistake, stepped on the wrong branch at the wrong time and earned a throbbing ankle and the attention of a monster for your efforts. It was so hard to navigate through cobwebs when you were running. It was so hard to navigate at all when you were crying.

And, as you collapsed to the dirt, weak sobs still racking over your chest as pain shot from your heel to your knee like hot trails of pure fire, you began to wish he’d just killed you when you interrupted his meal. That would’ve been kinder than letting you think you might’ve had a chance.

After a moment, you forced yourself to grit your teeth, moving to push yourself up, but it was already a moment too late. Without warning, without sound, something tapered and unyielding dug into the space between your shoulder blades, pushing you flat against the ground and giving you a minute to fight back, only pulling away then you failed to struggle against its strength. You already knew what it was, what it had to be, but you still found yourself holding back a gasp as you were unceremoniously dragged onto your back, clenching your eyes shut in an effort to delay the inevitable. It was an exercise in futility, but you didn’t open them again.

Not until something soft and familiar brushed against your cheek, and your entire body jerked up involuntarily. You had to fight not to scream, the awareness of just how dead you were making the pangs of your injury pale, in comparison.

If Ikto had any intention of making your slaughter swift, though, you couldn’t tell. He simply towered above you, watching with four pairs of eyes as you scrambled back, using what was less of your courage to put an arm’s length of distance between you and your hunter. You had to wonder why you’d ever thought you stood a chance against him. Standing, you would’ve only come to his waist, to the junction where his grey, thick flesh faded into a black exoskeleton, so sleek and so impenetrable, you knew the tiny dagger you’d brought for your protection would be useless before it was even in your hand. You could barely see his face, but you didn’t have to. Everything, from the mocking tilt of his head to the way his shoulders tensed and bounced upward in a stifled laugh, made his amusement clear. His tone did little to aid your blossoming humiliation, the heavy drawl only making you bow your head, your fear nearly overpowered by misplaced embarrassment. “I thought you’d be faster, human.”

You bit the side of your tongue, but you were speaking before you could stop yourself. More to quell your own nerves than to get on his. “I thought you’d be a better hunter, beast.”

That earned a breath of a chuckle, so airy and so dry, you might’ve missed it if he had anything to compete with. Unfortunately, no animals skittered from tree to tree to distract you, no birds sang to divert your attention. You couldn’t blame the woodland creatures for making themselves scarce. You’d avoid Ikto too, if you had a choice. “Awfully brave for someone who just stumbled into my web,” He started, bringing a hand - a human hand, thankfully - up to his chest, pouting in an exaggerated show of his offense. Despite his size, he moved soundlessly, stepping between dead leaves and over obstacles in a slow, seamless circle around you as he continued. Evaluating you, only speaking to keep himself entertained. “I was having such a nice night, too. No heroes come to slay me, no champions shouting to face me to prove their worth, no interruptions. Just me and my prey.” This time, you got a sigh. A shake of his head. A step too close, a spindly leg coming just a breath too near, leaving you shaking and digging your nails into the dirt, trembling as he looked on. “And then you came along and ruined it.”

“I’m lost.” The lie was spat hastily, forced out too quickly to be believable. This time, when he edged closer, you brought your knees up to your chest, curling into yourself defensively. “I didn’t mean to bother you. I don’t want to be here, I’m just… I can’t find my way home. I don’t know what to do. If you let me go--”

“If I let you go, you’ll get stuck in one of my webs and I’ll find you weeks later, starved and dehydrated and begging for my help.” He paused, pursing his lips, settling in front of you. When he crouched, his knees bending into jagged points and his arachnid stomach nearly brushing against the ground, you went tense, but you didn’t dare to move. You didn’t dare to look at him. You didn’t dare to think, not when it felt like he was prying into your mind a little more with every second he spent staring you down. “It might be nice. I’ve never heard someone plead for my help rather than my mercy. I try not to play with my food, but I wasn’t expecting something so small and so tempting to stumble into my territory. Certainly not something with the nerve to expect me to believe such a boring excuse.” A growl seemed to edge its way into his voice, absent of the primal reverberation it should’ve contained, full of something manufactured, painfully learned. You might’ve felt sorry for him, if he hadn’t been close enough for you to see the dozens of harsh, pointed teeth that prevented him from bridging the gap. “Are you that eager to get this over with, human? Do you want to die?”

You didn’t hesitate, shaking your head furiously as his smile returned. Unconsciously, your fingers twitched, ready to search the satchel strapped to your side for any weapon you could find, but in the blink of an eye, the burlap sack was speared through, flicked to the side with little more than a tear of fabric and the rattle of its content. “Please, I didn’t mean to--”

“I’ll compromise.” Again, he cut you off, standing to his full height, taking your wrist as he did so and dragging you to your feet, his grip not loosening when you winced, attempting to favor the foot that wasn’t trying to detach itself from your body. “I won’t kill you. I’ll take you back to my den, make sure you’re attended to, but you have to come with me willingly. Say you’ll behave, and I’ll make sure you don’t have to limp your way into the loving jaws of the nearest wolf.”

You didn’t respond, but you flinched, and that was enough of an answer for Ikto. With a sharp, sudden pull, you were off of your feet entirely, dragged against him and held there with one arm, his free hand pressing against the back of your head, encouraging you to lean into him, to be affectionate. You wanted to push yourself away, to tell him you didn’t need his pity, that you’d rather take your chances with the most rabid of dogs than with try your luck with him, but your ankle pulsed and your body ached and you needed his help more than you wanted not to. And when Ikto began to walk, when you caught a glimpse of a long, inhumane leg moving easily over the uneven terrain, you weren’t sure if you could even move.

You weren’t sure if running was an option, not if he’d be the one chasing you.

“It gets lonely, occasionally,” He admitted, his voice so soft, you almost didn’t hear him. You almost wished you hadn’t been listening, by the time he thought to go on.

“And I’ve always liked the idea of keeping a pet.”

[bowieandqueen11]

Luke Crain Headcanons

Request: Hi🥺I’m usually not to good about making request but I’m trying to breakout of my shell on that cause you are an amazing writer and I love everything you write!! But can I request a Luke Crain headcanon where you guys grew up together but distanced while he was in rehab but you came back together after what happened with Nellie! Thank you so much you’re an angel🥺💛 

Thank you SO much @cathrinexxxv​ I LOVE LUKE CRAIN! Also I’m so ready to binge watch all of Bly Manor tomorrow!! <3

You and Luke first met when you were very young. As in, really really little. To this day, you’re still constantly teasing him and making him blush smile about his huge magnifying pair of glasses and his obsession with bowler hats.

You and your family used to live in the small village which was a fifteen minute walk away from the looming heights of Hill House, so when a rumour started spreading down the houses that a new family full of children were moving in for the summer, you, naturally, were intrigued.

One night, when you had heard from your mother that the new family had moved in, you sneaked out your back garden on a warm afternoon before dinner, cutting through the dark and dingy forest until you reached the outskirts of the property. Seeing a boy around your own age sitting on his own on the burnt grass, you waved to Luke from behind the branch of a nearby, crooked oak tree. He was startled, to say the least, but as he watched you hide slightly behind the bark, he was surprised to find he wasn’t scared in the slightest.

He felt as if he almost knew you already. As if this was always meant to happen, that you were meant to find each other here.

Nudging his glasses back up the bridge of the nose, he shyly waved back. Once he finally realised that you weren’t going to budge from your hiding place, nervous from the stories your neighbours had told you about this house, he decided to pick up his crayons in one fist and his paper in the other, before he sets off half stumbling, half stomping along the uneven ground towards you.

When he finally reaches the trunk, he stops and looks at you kind of funnily, tilting his head slightly before he decides the right reaction was to smile at you.

‘My name is Luke Crain. Do you want to play with me? All my siblings ignore me and they don’t want to draw with me.’

The two of you spent the rest of the afternoon huddled under the shaking leaves, sitting on the roots of the tree, Luke tracing out a picture and you giggling as you tried to bump his hand out of the way to colour it in.

From then on, the two of you were inseparable. Nellie loved you of course, and saw you as her honorary best friend as well, as did the rest of the siblings (even though Shirley would never admit it, and Theo was too stubborn to), which meant constant sleepovers at Hill House.

Hugh would always chuckle and shake his head when he peeked into Luke and Nellie’s room, seeing Nell asleep on a red bean bag with a half open bag of sweets lying deserted by her feet, and you and Luke sprawled out on the mat by the iron railings of his bed, snoring. 

You were also the only one he allowed up into his treehouse. Although, sometimes he was too embarrassed to let you, or his siblings, in, because he had stuck pictures up on the wall of the drawings he had tried to do of you.

Growing up with Luke also meant having to calm him down after he starts seeing the tall, floating ghost. Sometimes you would try to climb up the ivy outside of his bedroom window, only to topple into the house headfirst when you start to hear Luke’s high pitched screaming coming from under his bed. Although Olivia would come running in, she would always end up comforting sobbing Nellie, as Luke would only grab onto you, the two of you sitting on the edge of his bed as you remind him the rule.

‘Breathe in and out Luke, that’s it. In and out, seven times - that’s what keeps you safe.’

‘Eight’, he would say with a trembling breath. ‘Eight times. You’re my family too.’

The two of you were gutted when Luke had to move away, but your parents could already see how close the two of you were, and so decided that a move away and a new school for you, perhaps, wasn’t the worst idea. Especially, they decided, since you had been there that night as well.

Although the two of you were close for the whole of your childhood, it takes Luke until he’s eighteen years old to realise just how long he’s really been in love with you. It takes some nudging on from Nellie, pointing out how you would run up to his locker during breaks between classes and just fill him in on how your day was going - each break, no matter how long it had been, without fail. Luke was the only person you wanted to talk to, and from the look of pure delight on Luke’s face as he leans against his locker door and gives his full, undivided attention to you, you’re the only person he wants to listen to.

Or how, Nellie would continue, you would come round to their house for dinner, and although Aunt Janet tried to separate the two of you by sitting you opposite each other, you would just spend the whole dinner ignoring whatever Theo was talking about and giving each other funny looks as you kicked each other in the shin.

Or, when the two of you got a bit older, and you would sneak out of your dorm to visit him in the middle of the night, throwing little rocks at his window until his curtains would rustle and the window latch would be thrown open, his grinning face peering down at you. Despite having spent the whole weekend together, reading to each other in the town’s local library, or just lying shoulder to shoulder watching movies, the two of you would sit out in his garden, on the dewy grass, constantly craving each other’s company. You made him blush one night, when you suddenly grabbed his hand and intertwined his growing fingers over your smaller ones, pointing up at the moon, and the glowing stars, not realising the little side eye, euphoric look he would give you. 

That’s when he finally realised how immensely, and terrifyingly in love with you he was.

It scared him, to realise this, but deep down he knew it had always been you.

He has so many nightmares though. So many nights are spent with his head lying heavy in your lap, as you brush through his golden hair, trying to shush him and calm him down, or rocking him as he cries into your shoulder because of the nightmares he has about his mother, or about Abigail.

As the two of you start to escape your teenage years, and the wishful chasing after each other that came with it, your relationship becomes slightly more strained when he starts using. You choose to move in with Nellie for a while, once he finally goes to rehab. When she gets married, and you're forced to find somewhere new to live, you think you'll never hear from the Crains again - you get the odd visit from Nell, or Theo, but they're so busy enjoying the newly wed life, or studying for their degree that it's not enough - nothing fills the hole that comes from missing Luke. 

It hurts that he never comes to see you, but little did you know that he used to sit at his little beige desk every night, underneath the barred window, just staring up at the moon as he bit on the edge of his pen, a feeling of such wistfulness and loneliness and longing weighing down his chest.

He used to write you a letter, every day, just pouring out all the feelings he was too afraid to tell you, but he always crumples them up and throws them away, too scared to send them.

When Steve phones you up to tell you the news about Nellie’s passing, you told him to immediately come and pick you up.

You're terrified when you open the door and walk out into the bone chilling night to hug him, your heart thumping in your chest when he tells you about how Luke has left rehab again and is somewhere out on the streets, probably using. It breaks your heart, but you know you have to be the one to find him, to bring him back.

When you reach him, and see the man you've loved since you were a child wandering, shoeless and shivering along the freezing, cracked pavement, muttering to himself, you can’t help a tear slip out as you unbuckle your seatbelt and hop out of Steve’s rental.

Luke is so terrified, he doesnt recognise you for a second. It’s only a second, though, before his eyes widen and he pounces on you, wrapping you into him so familiarly, his frame looming large above you but yet feels so fragile in your grasp as he buries his head into the side of your neck and starts crying.

‘I’m so, so cold, Y/n, and my arms are s-s-so stiff, and I’m s-so sorry, I’m so sorry-’

You can’t bear to tell him the news, so you just hold the nape of his neck and pull him tight against your chest, hating the way his whole body shakes in your hold.

On the day of Nell’s funeral, he doesn't leave your side once - it’s as if the two of you had never been separated at all. As everyone files in through the main door, ignoring the sour face on Shirley as they wander into the reception area, you and Luke just sit knee to knee on the couch opposite the entryway.

‘I tried to write to you,’ he starts, as he fumbles a cigarette from out of his breast pocket and tucks it away behind his ear, trying to busy himself with anything so he doesn’t have to meet your confused eyes, and so you don’t have to see the guilt ridden in his. ‘I want you to know that. Nellie kept on telling me off, but i just didn't know how to say what i needed to say to you.’

‘Luke, its okay, i understand how difficult it was for you-’

‘No-no, Y/n, no more excuses! You mean so much to me and i- i cant... i can't lose anyone else. Just-’

He's so gentle when he finally reaches over and kisses you, trying to shake off his fear and just show you what he meant instead. His suit rumples against your chest as he smooshes himself against you, cupping your cheeks softly with his large hands as he tilts you to the side to meet him in a needy, a desperate, a long anticipated kiss. 

He doesn’t pull away - he can't - until you finally break for air, and only then does he finally concede and places his forehead against yours with a soft thud, just closing his eyes in both agony and bliss.

‘I’m sorry that took me so long to do.’

‘It was worth the wait. Although, I have to be honest, your timing has always been rubbish.’

He chuckles, his deep voice vibrating against your chest as he rests his head on your shoulder like a lost puppy, gazing up at you with those wide, lost eyes, and for the first time you can finally see the adoration and awe and just pure love that’s always been in them.

For the rest of the reception. before he tells you of his plans to go back and burn Hill House to the ground, is spent with the two of you escaping from his siblings by stepping outside and sitting on Shirley’s porch. Your arms stay linked tightly together, as if afraid to let go again, and his coat is wrapped around both of your shoulders as he rests against you, just content to be surrounded by your presence.

[maxismatchccworld]

The Sims 4 Snowy Escape gameplay trailer

Map Overview

Lots:

Wakaba

You’ll get your first view of Mt. Komorebi itself from Wakaba, the neighborhood at the base of the mountain. It’s a beautiful residential area with plenty to do. If it’s your first day in town, it’s good to take it slow and start here. Set the mood with a stroll through the gardens or go for a swim near the waterfall. Remember to return respectful greetings when you receive them, and pay attention to shoe removal signs in genkan entryways.

If you’re traveling with kids, make sure to hit up the Festival of Youth in the main plaza. Kids will love meeting Yamachan, the town mascot, and joining the Voidcritter Hunt. While they’re off doing that, you can check out the vending machine collectibles or try the festival-exclusive character crepes, too!

Oh, and speaking of food… you simply have to try hot pot. Sukiyaki is my favorite, but mostly I enjoy it because it’s perfect for a nice meal together. You can cook it right at the kotatsu table where you’re warm and comfy. Plus, seconds are encouraged! And thirds! Try to stop me from having more than one bowl, I dare you.

Komorebi Fact: Lots of folks like to use chopsticks when they’re eating, but your utensil choice is ultimately up to you. (I just think it just makes picking up maki rolls easier.) And some foods, like yummy taiyaki, you can hold in your hands!

Senbamachi

Once you’ve gotten acclimated, head up the mountain a bit to Senbamachi, meaning Thousand Leaves Town. This more traditional area is set right into nature. It’s idyllic, scenic, and serene. Most of the folks here have learned to live in the moment and take life as it comes. It really encourages people to settle into their emotions and find balance.

My favorite thing to do is gather some friends and take a hike. The sign at the trailhead lays out all the different places you can visit, and there’s so much to see along the way. Once you’ve chosen a destination, take it easy and relax into the moment with each other. The best part about hiking is being together with friends and family. Whether you’re stopping for a photo on the bridge or listening to your voices echo back at you from the cave, it just feels good to bond over the natural wonders around you.

Of course, everyone has different experiences and different Sentiments about things. On the last hike I led, my friend and I were enjoying ourselves before we ran into denkimushi aka electric bugs. She forgot her spray, so she kinda… got zapped. She's still a bit mad at me for leading her through that area unprepared, but she'll come around. Probably.

When you finish your hike, whether it’s meditative or energetic, pause for a moment at the Festival of Lights to admire the beauty around you. This tradition helps us remember the dead and celebrate the light. In the evening, there are fireworks, and you can watch the lanterns float along the river. Remember to make a wish for the future at the tanabata tree.

Komorebi Fact: Being aware of yourself and the present moment is super important here. Some people like mindful walks, while others prefer relaxing to traditional Japanese folk music. Find whatever works for you to center yourself.

Yukimatsu

Lots of people come to vacation in Yukimatsu especially. (That’s where all the snow is!) There are a few swanky rentals for out-of-towners since it’s right next to all the action, but that doesn’t mean you won’t find locals here too. Who could stay away from the onsen bathhouse and the snow sports?

I grew up learning to snowboard on the bunny slope here. Of course, I spent a lot of time wiping out at first, but now you can find me up on the mountain for at least a few hours a day! It just became part of my Lifestyle as I made it a habit over time. Now, I can’t imagine a day where I’m not strapped onto my board.

But don’t be intimidated! Skiers and snowboarders of all skill levels are welcome, whether you’re on the bunny slope or one of the four bigger trails. And if that scares you, no problem! Try sledding, too. You can go alone or pair up with another Sim to catch a little air. My mom used to take me when I was a toddler, and it’s one of my fondest memories.

So take some time to have a little fun here. Learn how to start rock climbing at the beginner’s climbing route, or explore a cave on a snowy hike. And once you’re done, and probably chilled to the bone, head over to the onsen for the most relaxing experience in the world. I’m not exaggerating. Plan to spend a few hours here at least. Once you slip into that water, everything kind of… floats away. All your stresses, your fears, your injuries… none of it matters as much in the soothing heat.

Komorebi Fact: We all have our own Lifestyle, and Mt. Komorebi offers something for everyone. Even just looking around in Yukimatsu, you can see Outdoorsy Sims enjoying a hike, Workaholic salarymen glued to their computers, Junk Food Fiends grabbing snacks from vending machines, and Energetic Sims (like me!) flying down the mountain. That which makes you happiest may be just around the corner.

The Summit

I hope you took a moment to check out that beginner’s climbing course in Yukimatsu! If you want to head up to the peak of Mt. Komorebi, you’re going to need those skills. Group excursions usually start at the onsen, but once you get out of that water, you’re in for the trip of a lifetime. Dress warmly and bring a few snacks to tide you over.

Take the gondola up to the top of the ski slopes, where you’ll find the first climbing obstacle. After that, there’s a series of challenges awaiting you. If you’re new to the sport, take the opportunity to rest at the base camps along the way, but if you’ve got the experience, try to explore a little! There are caves and other surprises on the way up. (For instance, you might find a secluded little spot for a quick Woo-Hoo up there—something about life-and-death danger really gets some Sims going. 😉)

Don’t undertake this excursion lightly, though! The weather gets worse the higher you climb, and you may end up caught in a thundersnow storm. Yes, you read that right. They’re intense blizzards that take place in the middle of a thunderstorm. And with the lightning and the booming and the wind… it gets really dangerous while you’re clinging to the side of a cliff for dear life. And if you fall from these heights… it doesn’t bear thinking about. Just be careful.

Finally, once you reach the top, everything seems to stop. I can tell you from experience that standing on that peak, staring out at the other mountains and a sky full of clouds below me, everything makes sense. The people with you make sense. Your journey makes sense. And this town, this world, with its beauty and excitement and peace, makes the most sense of all.

[chaseatinydream]

pirate king (14) || atz

Sweat drips from your forehead as you swing the wooden practice cutlass on deck in the same repeated actions Jongho and Yunho have drilled into you.

Left parry, right jab. Overhead swing, side slash. Dodge. Repeat.

Practicing is numb, mindless work. Honestly, you really hate it sometimes, but right now you’re ever so grateful for it. You take the time to organise your mind, your thoughts.

What do you do now?

Jongho, Seonghwa and San now know of your identity as a woman, and what you have learnt ever since your awakening. San is going to tell Yeosang about what the fortune teller had told you yesterday, and you may finally get some answers.

But something lingers on the edges of your conscience.

The sea witch.

The one who Seonghwa warned bargains with the mythical, the bridge between the supernatural and the mortal. And from the looks on San and Seonghwa’s faces, she didn’t sound like a person you’d want to meet.

Underhand swipe, stab.

“I am unworthy of looking upon her face, the one who you have made a deal with, the sea witch!”

Sidestep, lunge.

A deal.

You hunch over on your knees, panting as you take a break for a moment. The sky is still a dark indigo, the stars splattered across the deep purple canvas fading ever so slowly in preparation for the sun to take over their role.

“-a being of immense power that lives on an island that only people in great desperation can find-”

What had you been so desperate for as to turn to the supernatural? What could possibly be worth making a deal with the sea witch?

What had you gained?

You grip your sword tight once more, hate for all the hardships and agony your past self has put you through welling up inside of you.

You had woken up with absolutely nothing. You were completely alone.

Jab, slash.

What exactly had you given up?

Duck, stab.

Why did the fortune teller ask who had made you?

Wetness falls down your cheeks, but you don’t know whether it’s sweat or tears. Something about the word terrifies you. Why made? Why not ‘gave birth’? The way the fortune teller had spoken of you as if you are a piece of craft, not a human…

Why did she call the sea witch your mistress?

You toss the sword to the ground, panting from the exertion and the wild thoughts running through your head.

Did you sacrifice your memories?

“Hey, stowaway!”

You jump at the cheerful greeting, desperately wiping tears from your eyes that you hadn’t known were there.

“Yunho-hyung.” You internally curse the way your voice sounds like you’ve just swallowed a bucket of tar as the tall battlemaster makes his way across to you, his footsteps echoing abnormally loudly on the empty deck.

His hands are tucked into his pockets and his cheeks are apple red from the cold night air. Still, his grin is just as bright as it always is, and he stops next to you.

“Why are you up so early, stowaway?”

“Couldn’t sleep.” You mumble back, shivering slightly. The sweat on your skin has started to evaporate, leaving a chill on your arms and neck. Yunho studies the cutlass on the ground, your puffy, bloodshot eyes and the downcast look on your face.

You open your mouth to explain, to come up with some stupid excuse, but Yunho merely smiles.

“Have you been in the crow’s nest before?”

“What?” You’re caught by surprise by this question, not something you’d have expected to leave his mouth. The lookout merely continues smiling at you, waiting for an answer patiently. “Well, no.”

“That’s good.” Yunho grins at you charmingly. When you frown at him, a little confused, he explains. “That means I’m gonna be the first one to bring you up there.”

Gesturing for you to leave your sword where it is, he takes you by the wrist, long fingers encircling yours completely, leading you to the foremast. Yunho then places your hands against the coarse, thick ropes of the rigging, gently closing your fingers around them.

“Are you scared of heights?”

“Not really.” You reply honestly, but you are a little worried that you might fall like the clumsy fool that you are. You crane your head back, looking upwards.

The crow’s nest is pretty high up.

“Are you afraid of heights, Yunho-hyung?” You ask. The lookout laughs, clearly amused at your silly question and motions for you to climb.

“I am a lookout, you know. Don’t worry, I’ll be sure to catch you if you fall.”

You stare at him nervously, placing a foot on the rigging. “But I had three pastries yesterday. And another chicken drumlet. And some of that pie Seonghwa-hyung baked before I left. And-”

Yunho waves your protests off cheerfully. “No worries, just trust me!”

Just trust me.

Turning back to the rigging, you suck in a breath and begin to climb. You’ve never worked around the rigging and masts like you’ve seen Yunho and Wooyoung do so often, instead staying closer to the deck like San and Seonghwa. The two are in the rigging so often, spending more time among the ropes than on deck, laughing and chatting away.

For a moment, you feel like you’re intruding on their space.

The climb upwards is a little tricky as the rope twists and flexes beneath you, but you’re determined to make it all the way to the top by yourself. Straining with the effort, you finally drag yourself feebly over the lip of the crow’s nest and flop into it, sweat dripping from you every orifice.

“That was a good first try!” Yunho cheers as his mop of brown hair appears at the railing merely seconds after you’ve crawled in. You stare at him in disbelief from below.

“I thought you said you were going to catch me if I fell!”

Yunho cocks his head at you curiously as he perches on the railing precariously, an inch or so from a bad fall back to the main deck. “I was! I only started climbing after you reached the top.”

Your jaw smashes into the ground.

Yunho gives you an easy grin, patting your head in encouragement. Really, what is with all your crew members liking to pat you on the head? You’re about to ask him why when he looks away from you, admiring the horizon with a smile.

“So, why the long face?”

At his question, you jerk a little in shock. He seems to be a lot more observational than you have given him credit for.

“I am the lookout, after all.”

You gulp.

“And yes, you said that out loud.”

“Sorry!” You squeak, but Yunho doesn’t take any offence at your words. Instead, he merely grins at you with a cheeky, boyish smile.

“How about you tell me why you had such a long face as apology, then?”

You puff out your cheeks. You feel like Yunho has just tricked you into coming up here to make you spill the beans about all of your deepest, darkest secrets, but of course you can’t tell him that you’re worried about what the fortune teller has told you. As much as you trust the members of the ship, you don’t know how they’d react if you blurted to all of them that you could hear the sea monster’s voice and that you were starting to get afraid of what the fortune teller had woven as your future.

So you try to keep things as vague as possible.

“Nothing much.” You attempt to play it off light, fiddling with the crystal at the end of your necklace as you close your eyes and lean back against the mast, trying to appear as calm as possible. “I was just thinking about my memories, you know. If I had a mother.” A dry laugh leaves your mouth as you think about the possibility of the sea witch being your mother. “Maybe I could have had parents waiting for me wherever my home is. Siblings, even.”

Yunho is silent for a while. Then he suddenly speaks up.

“Do you know what these are?” He points to the two silver rings braided into his hair. They’ve always just been there, from the very first day you’d met him down at the harbor of Raguza, so you’ve simply assumed that it is some kind of habit of his. Honestly, you haven’t given it much thought, so you shake your head.

“These are rings of victory.” Yunho says, his voice suddenly soft as he fingers the silver bands. You stare at them a little more closely. “I got one for my first victory... And the second one for my hundredth.”

There’s something delicate in the air, invisible but completely tangible. You don’t dare to raise your voice over a whisper.

“What victories?”

“Victories in the arena.” Yunho says the word ‘arena’ with so much bitterness, sadness, anguish that for a moment, you can almost feel his raw emotions washing over you like a tidal wave. “Before I joined the crew of the Treasure… I was a gladiator.”

You’re stunned into silence for a moment.

Yunho has always been so happy, so cheerful, so happy-go-lucky, a literal ray of sunshine. You can’t believe that he could have endured such torment and pain in the past.

“I see.” Is all that leaves your mouth, but there’s so much more you want to say.

“I had a brother. His name was Gunho.” Yunho looks lost in the past, fixated on a dream, far, far away. “He was nicer, kinder, gentler. Always the better one of the two of us.”

You want to argue with that, but he continues before you can say anything.

“We were both sold into slavery by our parents. All we had was each other. I remember the first time he stepped into the arena, he was so scared to the point he kept shaking in his boots. I volunteered to go in his place. That’s how I got this.”

You watch with bated breath as Yunho pulls the collar of his shirt down to reveal a long, ugly scar at his shoulder, dangerously close to where his jugular is, as San has taught you. If the blade had been a couple of inches to the left, Yunho wouldn’t be here with you right now.

And that scares you, for some reason you don’t want think about.

You don’t know what to say. Why is Yunho sharing with you all this, something so close to his heart?

“I did everything I could to keep him safe. It was silly, now that I think about it. He was always a better fighter than me.” Yunho muses to himself in silent mirth, shaking his head as he shrugs the shirt back over his shoulder. “But I was the older brother. I was supposed to take care of him.”

You don’t like where the sound of this is going.

“But he’s gone now.” Yunho’s smile is brittle, as if it might break if you so much as touch it. His voice is nothing above a wavering whisper. “Dead and gone. And I wasn’t even by his side when it happened.”

“Why?” You find yourself asking, even before you can run it by your mind. “What happened?”

Yunho closes his eyes for a moment, clearly fighting to keep his emotions at bay as they play out across his face. Then he speaks, his throat tight.

“A patron admired me for my skill and bought my freedom, but not my brother’s.” Yunho’s words are soft, but clear as water and you hang on to every word. “I joined the Treasure to earn enough to buy my brother’s freedom… but by the time I returned to my hometown, Gunho was dead.”

His voice cracks ever so slightly even though the smile never leaves his face.

“Did you know? My brother died from the same illness as Jongho’s mother did.” Yunho adds on quietly, lost in thought. A heavy, crushing feeling sinks like a stone in your chest and you feel something prick at the corner of your eyes. You blink the feeling away in surprise.

The two of you sit in silence for a moment, and you feel Yunho’s pain as if it’s your own. If you ever had family, like he had, and you’d lost them… The feeling is familiar to you, as if you’ve felt it before.

But something is different.

No… you didn’t lose him…

You left him behind.

Something bubbles in the back of your mind and your eyes fly wide with horror, you jerk upright to stare at Yunho. You try desperately to chase the thought, but when you shut your eyes, all you see is the same thing you always do.

White beach, the waves washing over your legs as you sit in the sand. Rain touching your face, storms at your feet.

Then nothing.

“Anyway, what I intended for you to hear is that there’s always a dawn, even to the darkest nights.” Yunho says quietly, his words gentle. “Even though I thought I’d lost it all when I found out about my brother’s death, I realised I gained a new family. You might have lost your memories, but at least you have us with you. You’re our family. You are someone to us.”

You are someone to us.

His hand closes around yours. You turn to look at him, eyes wet with emotion. He doesn’t face you, instead pointing at the horizon.

“Look.”

The sun is beginning to rise.

The pair of you sit in comfortable silence as the sun slowly emerges from behind the sea. The darkness of the sky flees as the rosy light chases it away, streaks of pink and orange painting the sky.

You don’t know how long you sit there till someone calls for you from below.

“Yunho-ah! Stowaway!” To your surprise, it’s Yeosang, but there’s something off about him. From up on the crow’s nest, you can see him fidgeting nervously hopping from foot to foot as he looks up at the two of you. He looks like he’s literally brimming with happiness.

“What is it, Yeosang-ah?” Yunho shouts back, your hand falling from his.

There’s a massive grin on the navigator’s face, even as he tries to fight it back.

“Captain wants to see us!”

[pinktatertots99]

PLEASE WRITE KANKRI HITTING ON RUFIOH THROUGH AN ELABORATE THESIS ITD BE SO FUNNY

nonnie...i would be so honored. THIS ONES FOR YOU and all my like, five rufkri shippers out there.

basically kinda sorta more a love confession but ey its kinda flirty with wha he talks about.

also for some who need the helps: rufioh uses 1′s for i’s, kankri uses 6′s for B’s, and he uses 9′s for O’s -ye i’m adding this just incase, we all need reminders cause kankri’s can be a fucking headache of a quirk-

-COUGHS- my archiveofourown link to this fic -COUGHS-

_____________________________

your name is rufioh nitram and your taking a breath for yourself for once. you find yourself in a dream bubble you re-imagined as your old lost boy's location: tall blue and pink tree's with red cherry colored petals on them and littered at their tops various treehives connected via bridge's, stair cases, the gist.

you lay back on one of them that was your's, a big blocky one that has a couple windmills on top of it laying on the ledge that covered the top of your front door. kicking your leg absentmindedly as ol nostalgia rings through you, you barely get this kinda alone time but talk bout the advantage's of dream bubbles and damara's nice descendant escorting you.

until you hear the grass crunch from under you. you could just ignore it, finally steal some time for yourself but that’s not how your gears work; damn rogue bullcrap. you open your colorless eyes and move to look over your left where your sitting and spot a blob of red and feel a weird sense of relief.

its none other then your groupies lead spokesman kankri vantas walkin around trying to find you from how he keeps looking to his sides. kankri’s...something alright. sure everyone complains bout how much he babbles on bout half baked facts, preachy, pushy, an angry lil firecracker; actually maybe that’s why he’s so angry.

oddly though your not around alot for those, you’ll eyeroll at somethings but otherwise he’s pretty chill around you. bonus he’s celibate so you finally have someone who won’t try hitting on you every time you breathe in their direction. also your a mutant like him so mutant bro’s unite you’d think, it was cool finding you weren’t the only ‘cullbait’ of the gang honestly.

you go to get up and stretch your wings and back a bit. you may aswell make a sick entrance. you go run two steps and jump, your falling for a few seconds and it has your adrenaline pump before your wings pick up their flapping and have you flying downward slowly.

you saw kankri see you with near panic but pretty neutral look, dude barely had any sorta reactions but that was alright if it meant you could spot the teeniest moment he’d be thrown off as you land on the grass softly five steps away from him.

“9h.” he replies as you snicker. “pretty s1ck r1ght?” “in y9ur ling9 yes 6ut i advice y9u t9 please try n9t t9 use it s9 l99sely especially ar9und th9se in medically unwell situati9ns.”

you rub behind your neck. “sorry. anyways wha’ up? pass1n by?” you notice a pile of papers in his arms, maybe he’s gonna go preaching to some of those new human ghosts maybe? your betting the dude with the pointy glasses will be a conflict to him if he does.

“9h n9 actually i came t9 find y9u.” he states and you perk up a bit. find you? “megid9′s descendant was kind en9ugh t9 esc9rt me here.” ah her, you really should’ve figured. you take a step or two closer lookin down to see him cause dude’s fuckin short. “yeah? uhhh alr1ght, well what’s up?”

he looks back to his papers almost, hesitant? kankri vantas nervous? tarnish the thought till he looks back up clearing his throat. “genetical uniqueness.” ...what? “what?” you ask as he continues. “genetical uniqueness in 9ne’s self is a kn9wn fact9r 9ne sees in an9ther that is a small step to a gr9wing infatuati9n in said individual whether it 6e aesthetical, physical or pers9nality wise.”

...you...you don’t know what’s going on. is he giving a lecture? seminar? on genetics? oh gog messiah’s dangit kankri may be your boy as you’ve called him before (not around him you know better) but man there’s only so much of him you can chill with until it starts getting to well, this point. you don’t stop him though cause kankri vantas never stops until he’s finished.

“s9me f9rms 9f genetical uniqueness c9uld c9me fr9m all 9f th9se and m9re. f9r example, an unc9mm9n s9cietal genetic that while n9t unc9mm9n can 6e seen as a f9rm of interest to s9me9ne and unique. whether freckles, hatchmarks or, wings perhaps.” your wings flap at that.

“9f c9urse t9 t9uch 9n the first three f9rms 9f attraction i mentioned if y9u d9n’t mind my reference 6ack t9 the su6jects at hand, an aesthetical attracti9n t9 certain f9rms 9f attire and style that differ’s fr9m 9ne’s 9wn can 6e an9ther. 9f c9urse this is entirely su6jective as n9 indivudals are the same 9n this manner h9wever 9pp9site’s attract seem t9 have m9re likelih99d t9 find 69nds in a multitude 9f ways. examples 9f this kind 9f su6ject is perhaps a rebel-esque design that c9rrelates t9 s9me a resistance t9 a c9nf9rma6le s9ciety with it’s 9wn strict regulati9ns and laws. s9mething like rigid and ripped attire 9r sharp disc9l9red hair c9uld 6e examples that 9ne wh9 while n9t p9ssibly sharing th9se designs with them finds inspiring t9 l99k t9.”

you look at your ripped jeans and vest. you...kinda still dont know what he’s going on about, but you keep listening.

“the sec9nd aspect, physical is 9n a similar subjectivity as while 9ne finds a physical aspect 9f s9me9ne attractive an9ther will n9t. h9wever physical attracti9n inv9lves s9me f9rm 9f the 9ther individuals 69dy they deem as p9tentiality t9 perhaps engage in a quadranted arrangement with said individual whether h9rns, fangs, a smile that gives a pleasant crease to their facial structure, their 69dy language when shy 9r excited, perhaps even height as acc9unta6le as studies sh9w a pred9minant interest in a taller partner for feelings of pr9tecti9n, sta6ility, 9r an9ther f9rm 9f 9pp9site’s attracting if the 9ther party isn’t their perceived interest’s 9wn height.”

you rub the back of your neck...nervously. your not dumb your getting some serious implications. you don’t wanna believe them, nah no way kankri’s celibate maybe he’s talking bout someone else? alotta their team has nice smiles and taller then him or dress ‘rebelistic’ as he calls it.

“lastly there’s attraction to pers9nality. m9st w9uld like a pers9nality they find in s9me f9rm similar t9 their 9wn t9 gain n9t 9nly m9re in c9mm9n t9 create a 69nd 6ut als9 as a starting part f9r c9mm9nality t9 make it easier t9 take the necessary steps. s9me h9wever may find attracti9n t9 a pers9nality that differs fr9m their 9wn. why is dependa6le 9n certain pers9nal aspects but m9st are 9ut of jeal9usy f9r seeing s9me9ne they are n9t, 9r perhaps admirati9n t9 have what they have 6ut cann9t 9r are una6le t9 yet due t9 their 9wn pers9nal reas9ns and s9 they try finding a partner wh9 has s9me 9f th9se aspects they cann9t harness. n9t in a c9ntr9lling way mind y9u n9r t9 use them 6ut due t9 a f9rm 9f admirati9n and interest.”

you nod as he perks up. “ah, ap9l9gies h9wever menti9ning quadrants earlier. they have a varying r9le in these f9rms 9f attracti9n 6ut i failed t9 reitterate this 6eing m9re 9pen t9 interpretati9n 9n any f9rm 9f quadrants i’m referring t9 as many 9f these examples in this thesis can 6e f9r any quadrant. als9 ap9l9gies f9r the menti9n 9f this su6ject due t9 y9ur recent 6reak fr9m y9ur matesprit i didn’t mean f9r any kind 9f harm t9 y9u 9n it.” “nah 1t’s okay 1 get 1t. 1′m f1ne.”

he nods going back to his papers, least it looks like he’s almost done. “thank y9u. n9w where was i? right. n9w many examples 9f pers9nality attracti9n vary fr9m pers9n t9 pers9n 6ut i shall use a hyp9thetical and keep in mind it’s 9nly hyp9thetical. perhaps s9me9ne is rather una6le to s9cialize with any f9rm 9f 9ther parties due t9 varying 9pp9site interests or 9stracizati9n fr9m said gr9up. perhaps they meet s9me9ne wh9, perhaps shares s9me f9rm 9f genetical uniqueness t9 them, perhaps als9 having similar experiences t9 what their shared s9ciety 9r even different s9cieties share similarities t9. b9th gr9w and act very differently due t9 h9w they react and are raised in said s9ciatal climate. while the first hyp9thetical partner gr9ws t9 6e m9re f9refr9nt and 9pen t9 their 9wn th9ughts that s9me find c9ntr9versial the sec9nd partner is pers9nally flexible with an exteri9r design and m9re positive pers9nality s9me find m9re likely t9 fl9ck t9 them m9re.”

he’s hiding behind his papers but you swear you saw those cheeks turning a tint of red. your blushing too but you don’t know if its the same as his. your pumpbiscuit is beating hard but you don’t know if its infatuation or anxiety.

“perhaps, when the first pers9n sees this they find themselves just as infatuated to make themself kn9wn t9 this pers9n due t9 their 9pen relia6ility. perhaps they als9 feel a f9rm 9f jeal9usy that they are unable t9 have the same people-friendly exteri9r t9 them and, wish they had that ability t9 d9 s9. may6e the 9ther seems, at least t9 the first individual, 9pen t9 them and what they have t9 say 9r are fine with spending time with them that has the first individual to sl9wly c9me t9 terms with their 9wn feelings 9n this pers9n. even, s9 far as t9 admit even with their 9wn pers9nal views 9f themselves and their 9wn 6eliefs, they may find them, expenda6le t9wards this individual.”

okay no the beating is anxiety now, this is WAY too much you see it all now and your...scared. your really scared now. he sighs and clears his throat again. “in c9nclusi9n i 6elieve these f9ur fact9r’s are likely c9mp9nants t9 6uild a f9rm 9f r9mantic attracti9n 9ne may find in an9ther. s9, what did y9u think 9f it?”

your horrified, your rubbing your arm nervously and trying to put on a smile for him. “1t’s...pretty good yeah. real conv1nc1ng.” you feel like such a douchebag right now getting nervous. your recent break with horrus was, okay shitty to say, but it was nice having a break from romance.

you know you know that’s really shitty, but you feel the need to put all you can in it and you get drained and can’t keep going sometimes. its like the break charges you up so then your back to giving him your all and it repeats. it sucks, but he loves you and you feel even more douchy at the idea of telling him you can’t do it anymore, ever, after yanking his chain for this long.

you...don’t want that for kankri. your at a 50% charge right now on romancing least flushed wise, you never tried the other quad’s before. what if he wants flushed? you can’t do that you’d lose him if you pulled what you do to horrus on him cause you really kinda, don’t know how to stop or talk about it. 

even then you don’t even know if your both broken up for good or what, you could end up with him again and then it’d be a damara situation and you don’t want kankri to be your next damara he keeps grudges way longer then her (which your surprised she tolerates you enough even with her grudge but you digress).

even then all he talked about felt, surface level. like everyone’s crush’s on you; except meenah which guess this means she’s the only one never to flirt with you now. damn it. still though he doesn’t even really know you, sure he could learn but, do you really want him to? learn about how much of a fraud you are? how all this is an act and you honestly have no fucking clue why anyone likes you? how you can’t be your own troll? gog he’d be so disappointed he goes on about trolls equalizing and needing their own rights to be their own troll but you can’t do that; not even for him probably.

point is: your shit at flushed and you don’t want kankri involved. you wanna give him those free feelings your classpect is supposed to do. hard part is, how’re you gonna let him down?

before you can think further he speaks up. “i’m glad y9u think s9. y9ur an excellent listener rufi9h i d9 genuinely appreciate it.” you see a twitch at the end of his lip and it pains you the fact he almost smiled. “perhaps we can have m9re 9f these meetups next time?” he asks taking a step to leave.

your surprised but kinda relieved too, least he’s not asking you out, but then again he’s also coming back sometime. meaning he might get more and more confident to actually pop the question your not ready to burst his bubble with your response with yet.

you smile though and wave at him. “ahah, sure sure 1′ll be here for 1t. or, we can meetup here?” he nods moving to look away as he walks off. “i will make n9te 9f that f9r 9ur next c9nversati9n. take care nitram.” he states, you watch as he gets more distant and vanishes in the forest.

you sigh long and relieved and go to fly back to your spot, moving to lay down on it though as you let it all soak in. your rufioh nitram and you just got flirted with by the kankri celibate vantas himself.

[markosmate]

I don’t know if your taking requests. But one with the boys who there mate is parkour and doing crazy stuff.

i am!! and ahh ok! this is wicked cute,, i’m going to do a poly headcanon so i hope that’s ok? if not, let me know and i’ll write it the way you want <3 hope you like it! - 🧚🏻

poly!lost boys x parkour!reader

• Parkour???? You mean???? Marko's favorite thing on earth??? That’s a lie - it’s not his favorite, but he definitely wishes he could feel the thrill of jumping from building to building without being able to save himself by flying if he were to fall (He’s a big adrenaline junkie, they all are)

• So when the boys find out that you,,, their mate,,, is obsessed with doing parkour, they’re equal parts excited and worried

• Marko is immediately all over it

• "Babe, babe let’s go on a date tonight we can find a nice roof to look at the stars ;)"

• Contrary to popular belief, Paul is not all over it

• He likes to say that he’s just worried for your safety - "What if we’re not there and you fall or something sweets?"

• And while he is partly worried for your safety - he just likes to deter you from ever asking him to go with you

• Now, before Paul turned, he had an extreme fear of heights - it wasn’t the usual feeling nauseous or sick, he would genuinely have a panic attack if he was even ten to fifteen feet off the ground

• Obviously over the years he’s worked on it and can now fly without the thought even beginning to cross his mind, but the thought of parkour?? For whatever reason the first time he tried to go with you the fear came crashing back in

• He prefers dates on the ground, but he will take you flying or cheer you on from below - jumping from building to building isn’t his thing tho

• Dwayne??? You’re lying to yourself if you think he hasn't done that one thing where you hang off the edge by your fingertips literally every time he’s gone with you

• Paul freaks out everytime he sees him do it

• Dwayne thinks your skill is frickin awesome, like his babe having that much strength, balance, and trust in themselves to make sure nothing goes wrong??? Totally hot in his book

• Him and Marko are total adrenaline junkies when it comes to stuff like that, you three have gone on dates that just consist of running and leaping across roof tops until y'all find a good place to chill and hangout

• David,,,,, oh eee - good luck

• You? Are the most badass person he’s ever known - besides himself and the boys - for doing that for fun

• He’s not afraid to tell you either

• "The view of your ass is great from down here"

• You usually roll your eyes and playfully throw a pebble at him or something but one time it actually hit him smack dab in the forehead

• You were scared he would be mad at first but he ended up flying up to the rooftop to try out what the rave about your hobby was

• He: loved it

• It’s definitely not one of his absolute favorite things to do (He'd much rather spend his time terrorizing the boardwalk) but he won’t deny that it’s definitely a good rush for when he’s feeling risky

• One time the five of you decided to all go together one night because why not??? Group dates are a yes

• You were all just kinda fooling around when Paul accidentally looked down, lost his balance, and fell off the building

• He let out a really loud yelp and honestly probably would have just hit the ground if it weren’t for Marko

• "You can fly dipshit!"

• He realized that halfway down and just kinda ~floated~ gently down to the ground

• He’s teased a lot about that moment

• Overtime you do convince Paul to go with you more often and he eventually becomes just as comfortable with it as flying

• Now he begs you and Marko to go with him all the time, and just like the other boys - now loves the rush of it

• Speaking of the curly blond, Marko is obsessed with just standing on the edge of the building and letting himself fall backwards just to scare the shit out of you

• You know he can fly, but it still freaks you out and makes you lightly scold him when he floats back up (He just giggles at you)

• Sometimes during dates with Dwayne, he'll bring his skateboard and ride it along the edge of a building just to see how close he can get without falling off

• You've definitely tried to copy him multiple times and he highkey freaks out each time

• After the third time, he just stops bringing the skateboard with him

• David, Mr. Not Soft At All, secretly loves when you set up a picnic on the top of a shop on the boardwalk just for the two of you to enjoy after climbing up there

• Overall, the boys totally think you’re badass and love watching you literally pull yourself up the ledges of roofs and jumping from one shop to another

• Although they worry for your safety sometimes, they’re glad to have someone that can keep up with their quickly paced life style and who isn’t afraid to get their heart beating a little quicker

• Plus it turns them on to watch you like holy shit you’re theirs??? Damn they hit a jackpot

• They will scold you if they find out you do it a lot when they’re not around

• How are they supposed to save you if you mess up or fall???

• You assure them that you’re skilled and mistakes rarely happen but they just want to be safe

• Help them relax a lil bit and just agree to be careful ok :(

• David definitely uses your skill as a reason to talk you into turning

• "We won’t have to worry about you if you can just fly away when you fall kitten"

• You’ll definitely hang off the bridge with them dozens of times, and even more often once you turn - they love doing stuff like that with their babe

[baeklination]

bartender love pt.3

Date:210611

Warnings: ANGST, mental health (unnamed) , unease about sex (not very detailed or long), g.e.l.

Pairing: Kyungsoo x F.Reader

WC: 6,2k

NOTE: I know... But, save for a 1 week break, I'm gonna try to stick with this one.

pt.1 pt.2 Masterlist

¤¤

Going on three months you and Kyungsoo still had as much fervor for one another as in the beginning, only now it was cemented by a comfortable knowing of each other; you knew it could take him hours to reply to a text, but it’d be something sweet when he did; he knew you could seem a bit blasé when he asked you to come over, but you’d be as happy about seeing him as ever. There had really only been one thing that had bothered you (save his underwhelming cooking skills). You’d told yourself that it wasn’t a big deal, yet it kept playing in your mind, that time, a few days ago when he woke you up in the middle of the night:

You woke up by him kissing your shoulder and stroking your breasts, waist and legs. Sluggishly turning around, he was on top of you just as you opened your eyes, continuing with the kisses.

“Shit, Kyung, slow down, I’m not even awake yet”, you said, not minding his actions, but rather his pace.

“You’re plenty awake, Y/N”, he said excitedly, making you chuckle. “You’re not wet yet.”

You weren’t a stranger to the saliva solution, but up until now it’d been reserved for the quickies - the bathroom at a party, a dark alley, the laundry room - so for him to spit in his hand and use it as lube instead of waiting caught you off guard.

“I’ve been awake for an hour thinking about fucking you”, he breathed in your ear as he pressed himself in. “Shh, shh, relax…”, he prompted when he felt how tense you were.

“I haven’t been up an hour, Kyung…”

“You’re right, sorry”, he said and pulled out a bit. “I have to be careful with my precious baby.”

“What..?”

“Well you are...”, he cooed, while kissing you “...my baby.”

“I’m not a baby.”

“Oh, really...?”

He started moving his hips slowly, feeling much less resistance than before.

“Then why do you like it so much?”

The sex was great, per usual, but how it started out had left you feeling...something. You hadn’t even told Iseul about it. If it happened again you would. But since then he’d been the same cute and caring guy you’d come to know him as. Sitting at the end of the bar, waiting for his shift to end you smiled to yourself at the girls batting their eyelashes at him “Damn, you having a seizure or summin’?”

Your phone buzzed - there was a text message from him: “Can I kiss you in 5 seconds?” You looked up to see him counting down with his fingers, taking big steps towards you. When he reached zero you nodded.

“You may.”

He held up a menu, blocking the view to the rest of the room:

“Privacy screen”, he smiled before pressing those plush lips against yours.

¤

Walking home together, there was a chill in the air not usual for this time of year, and seeing you shiver Kyungsoo put his jacket over your shoulders.

"Did you see that in a movie and think that's a great move, gotta try it?", you teased him, laughing all the while.

"What! I was being a gentleman..!"

"Alright…", you held your hands up in defeat. "I guess there's a first time for everything."

"You're such a..!", he exclaimed, pulling you in by your shoulder and giving you a kiss on the head.

There are two things - opposites really - you love about being as close with Kyungsoo as you are. One is being able to have hour-long conversations about miscellaneous issues, like narwhals and the making of milk cartons; the other is being silent, like now.

If you could only choose one, holding hands would win, but having your arm around his waist, your hand just under his t-shirt to feel his warm skin isn't bad either.

"Hey, do you think I could walk the whole way there?", he asked, pointing his finger when you came to the bridge.

"What, the railing?"

"Mm-hm."

"Technically… If you're not afraid of heights."

"I'm not. So you think I can?"

"Can? No, I don't think you can, 'cus only an idiot would try to."

"Am I?", he asked with a mischievous smile that made your throat tight.

"Stop it, Kyung."

"Wanna bet? Ten bucks says I can."

"Are you serious? No. No, I don't wanna bet, I wanna cross the bridge on the ground like normal people."

"Guess I'm not normal then", he said and jogged to the railing.

"Jesus Christ, can you just stop fucking around..."

You were sure he was yanking your chain, but when he started heaving himself up on the ledge you realised he was going to try.

"Ta-da..!", he said triumphantly, stretching his arms out. "It's barely five metres down, I wouldn't die if I fell in."

His stupidity didn't just scare you - it angered you - but you didn't want to shout at him while he was up there.

"It's not the fall that kills you, it's the undercurrent."

"I guess that's what it'll say on my tombstone", he laughed as he started walking. "It was the undercurrent…"

"Can you just get down?", you pleaded, feeling a burning behind your eyes. "Please. You're scaring me, Kyung. Kyung!"

When he didn't say anything is when you'd had enough.

"Fine! I guess you are a fucking idiot", you hissed, picking up the pace to leave him behind. "Here's your fucking jacket", you continued, throwing it on the ground.

"Come on, Y/N..!", Kyungsoo chuckled. "You're cute when you're mad."

His whole demeanour baffled you. He'd always had a carefree up-for-anything attitude to things, but he was never outright stupid. And the fact that he wouldn't come down when you asked when his soft nature had always been his strongest trait… There was a clank followed by a yelp from Kyungsoo - your stomach turned to a vacuum, heart in your throat, as you spun around, ready to hear the splash of him hitting the water.

But there he sat, swinging his legs on either side of the railing. He burst out laughing.

"You should see your face..!" He jumped down and clapped his hands, still laughing. "You thought I went over, right..!"

Still reeling from the shock of thinking he had fallen, his mockery sent you into a rage - now you had half a mind to shove Kyungsoo off the goddamn ledge yourself.

"What the fuck's wrong with you?!", you screamed at the top of your lungs, barely recognizing your own voice.

"Jeez, calm down, babe", he snorted and put his arms up to pull you in.

"Fucking idiot", you spat at him and shoved him in the chest.

"Stop being such a rabbit”, he frowned and tried again. “I-”

“Don’t fucking touch me”, you warned him and swatted his hand away.

“Jeez... Okay, I’m sorry, alright? Let’s just go home. I bet you’ll forget all about it once we’re in bed...”

You were flabbergasted.

“Yeah, well that’s another dumb bet you’ll loose. You’re not coming with me.”

“Come on, Y/N-”

“Leave it.”

He looked at you for a moment then lifted his hands in defeat.

“Alright…” When he turned to get his jacket he chuckled. “Fucking downer…”

¤

You didn’t want to talk to Kyungsoo during the following two days. Ironically though, not hearing from him had stressed you out all the more. Going from is he angry with me now to what if he went up on the railing again and fell? You didn’t believe any of those things, but it didn’t stop them from picking away at your mind. That you hadn’t spoken to Iseul about it probably hadn’t helped - this is exactly the type of situation one needs friend therapy for. You didn’t want to admit it to yourself, but you were embarrassed, without even knowing what about; it’s not as if she thought he was perfect - or better yet - that everyday of her relationship with Tony had been a Hallmark card. Was it because you had gone on and on and on about him only to now think that maybe you don’t know Kyungsoo that well at all? Whatever it was you trusted she’d sort it out for you as you poured her a glass.

“Damn, white wine… What happened?”

“Aeh...nothing”, you sighed and grimaced.

“Sceptical Iseul is not convinced…”

“Of course she isn’t. I don’t wanna have to tell you - but I want you to know...”

“Kyung..?”

“Yeah”, you nodded and frowned. “Fuck it.”

So you told her what had happened on the bridge, start to finish, not trying to make yourself out as having been sweet and sensible; if anything, you sugarcoated Kyungsoo’s behaviour, so she wouldn’t hold it against him in the future.

Iseul pursed her lips and knitted her brows.

"Hm… Is it that bad, though?"

"Agh..! You don't think so?"

"He was an idiot, for sure, and I get why you're angry, but I thought you were gonna tell me something major. You know how guys, not even guys - people - are. Out of the blue they do some weird shit", she said, shrugging her shoulders. "Or are you seriously thinking of ending it over this..?"

You had a knot in your stomach. You knew you had to tell her about when he'd woken you up.

"No. But I'm worried it might be a part of something else, his true self or something …", you sighed, making byunny ears. "The other night. He…" You paused, trying to find a segway in. "I don't know, he…"

Iseul's eyes narrowed as she leaned slightly forward.

"Did something...", you said, fidgeting with the seam of your trousers.

She put her glass down and looked you dead in the eye, her chest rising high with nervousness.

"What do you mean "he did something"?"

"Listen. I didn't think it was a big deal when it happened, so I didn't tell him."

"Okay…"

"I mean, it's not like I brought it up to him and he's had a chance to explain himself - it. It's been sitting uneasily on my mind, is all, alright?"

"You're making me uneasy. Just tell me."

If you said it out loud it would be fact and real, instead of your bothersome secret.

"Agh! Okay", you sighed loudly. "He woke me up the other night, last week, wanted to have sex. But you know how you are when you wake up like that, you need a minute to understand that you're even up, right? And if your head needs a minute…", you trailed off, raising your brows demonstratively.

"Your body needs two", Iseul filled in. "Yeah, course."

"But he didn't...care? He just spat and tried to do it anyway-"

"Wait", she said, and went still. "Are you telling me that he-"

"No. NO", you said sternly, grabbing her wrists. "NOT THAT. I swear. God, Jesus, the saints, it wasn't like that, Is. It was just...", you shook your head, yourself still not being able to put words nor feelings to it properly. “It was…”

“Not right..?”

“Yeah. It was just not right. But he didn’t like...force it, when I told him to slow down. It was normal after that, so I don’t know… Do you get why I’m- no wait. He called me baby.”

“He always says that to you, doesn’t he?”

“No, it was more like that.”

“Like daddy baby?”

“Yeah. He’s never done that. Maybe he’s wanted to, but didn’t know how to ask, but with the whole thing and now this...fucking bridge thing…”

“I think you should talk to him about it, all of it. What? What’s with the face?”

“I thought you were gonna fly off the handles when I told you. You know how nervous I’ve been..!”

“Few years ago I prolly would have…”, she smiled, and took her first sip in a long time.

“Ah, Tony calmed you down?”

“More like Tony taught me people are allowed some fuck-ups… Not just him, me too. Things can snowball so fast. If we hadn’t started talking - or listening - we wouldn’t have made it. ‘Cus...you don’t wanna break up- wait! You’re not officially a couple are you..!”

“No, we're not, Mrs Tony. And no, I don’t.”

“Well, then it’s simple, if not easy. There might be something going on with him that he’s not saying, you know. If you manage to get your foot in the door maybe he’ll let you in, hun.”

“Ah..! Now you made me wanna call him now, forgive and have sunsets and roses..!”, you wailed.

“Fuck that. He apologizes first, you hear?”

“Don’t worry, I’ll be angry again in an hour. Thanks.”

“Before we go all sunset… If you ever feel not comfortable with sex, don’t do it.”

“I know.”

“No, I’m serious. Trying new things, you do for him, he does for you, sure. But never do it so he won’t be in a pissy mood, or whatever. That shit will fuck with your selfworth so bad you don’t even know...“

“Mm… I guess I just don’t know how to broach the subject…”

“Do you trust him? Apart from being mad at the moment?”

“Yeah. Yes.”

“Then start with some Dr. Phil shit “Kyungsoo, I trust and lo-”. Iseul stopped mid-sentence and looked at you with glittering eyes. “Do you love him?”

“Go on with your Dr. Phil.”

“Do you? Come on, you do..!”

“Go. On”, you said, trying to be stern, but breaking into a smile.

“Kyungsoo, I trust and may love-”

“Oh, shut up, Is..!”, you hollered. “See, this is why I always regret telling you things…”

“You didn’t even tell me anything”, Iseul affirmed innocently, putting her hands up.

“Yaic… Give me the damn bottle, and let’s talk about something else.”

“Cheers to that. Let’s leave anger behind. Let’s talk about…”, she giggled, and you knew precisely what was coming “...loooove.”

Iseul was your best friend in everything.

¤

Another two days passed and as predicted, your anger came back. As you lay down to sleep after your shift, the day just getting started with a pale blue on the horizon, you continued the three-stop circle you'd been on for a few hours: blazing irritation, want, anxiousness. You grabbed your phone and open the inbox to read the text for the umpteenth time:

"I MISS YOU! COME DOWN, I'M WORKING!"

Your heart had skipped a few beats when you read the first part, but went stone cold when you read the rest. Or rather; when you didn't read what you should have - an apology. Incensed is the perfect way to put it, and of course you hadn't done yourself any favours by going over it again and again, in a sense deciding what Kyungsoo was thinking (that there was nothing to apologise for) instead of sticking with the facts (he said he misses you and wants to see you). That part is what had you feeling restless, thinking maybe you shouldn't have ignored him; even seeing his missed call you could've texted him to let him know you were at work. But then again, why should you? Why should you come running as soon as he snaps his fingers - especially after all this time without a beep from him? And that's how you went until you dozed off.

You couldn’t tell how long you’d slept, but judging by the dark shadows still stretching out from the corners of your room it wasn’t very long. You looked around, ears pointed, to figure out what had awoken you.

“Y/N..!”

It was coming from outside. Throwing your covers to the side you got up and peeked out through the curtains. Sitting on the grass below your apartment was Kyungsoo.

“For fucks sake…”, you swore under your breath as you opened the window. “What!?”, you hissed.

“Y/N..!”

When he got to his feet and brushed himself off he stumbled: he was - as they say - as drunk as a skunk. As if your patience wasn’t already wearing thin he continued shouting.

“Open the door..! I miss-”

“Shh! People are trying to sleep..!”

“So let me in!”

If not for anything else than to make sure your neighbours didn’t call the cops on you, you hurried down the stairs and let him in.

The sweet smell of alcohol surrounding him nauseated you, so you kept your distance as he was kicking off his shoes in the hallway.

“Why didn’t you go home?”

“I wanted to see you. Why didn’t you come down to the bar?”

There’s no point in arguing with an intoxicated person, so you gave work as your excuse.

“I was working too, but I still made time for you”, he said like a little know-it-all, bobbing his head, squinting with one eye.

“How much did you drink, Kyung? Henki isn’t even open this late…”

“Not enough. We went to Andrew’s place.” He paused to swallow a burp. “And then I missed you, so now I’m here..!”

“Dandy… Well, I just got back, I have to sleep”, you said and went back to your bedroom.

“Does that mean no sex?”

You bit your tongue, careful not to give him the earful you so desperately wanted to.

“Mm-hm…”

“That’s okay”, he said and slumped down on the bed. “We’ll be sexless from- oh, shit!”

They way he hurried out the door you knew what was coming - literally. Luckily you heard the lid smack open before the retching. You were annoyed as hell that he’d come over, and the sounds coming from the bathroom made you cringe - but it also made you feel sorry for him, and remember what Iseul had said about patience.

“Where’s my…”, he groaned, then stopped to spit.“Where’s my toothbrush..?”

He looked so pitiful where you found him, sat grimacing on the floor.

“Are you sure you’re done?”

“Yes”, he nodded with his eyes closed. “I just wanna go to bed.”

“Here”, you said, holding out his toothbrush, pasted and ready.

His eyes had become glossy, making him look almost like a seal when he looked up at you. You sat down with him as he brushed his teeth and felt the ice thaw.

A bit more lucid, but tired and somewhat slurring his words he crawled under the covers.

"I'm so glad you're not still mad."

"I am", you sighed tiredly.

He stopped mid-motion of putting his arm around you, letting it rest on your hip instead.

"Why'd you let me in?"

"The cops..?"

"Don't be mad at me, Y/N", he whined. “Please…”

"I won't be", you replied and pulled his arm up around you.

The sweet vapors of drink still surrounded him, but the feeling of his body enveloping you one-upped them. When you're used to sleeping with someone's chest on your back, being without is like going without a safety blanket. The scolding could wait til the morning.

¤

Getting over a fight, finally seeing each other, has a way of shining the brightest light on things, making them new. As you lay listening to Kyungsoo’s breathing, his stuffy nose irregularly whistling, all traces of anger seemed to have vanished. That is not to say the issue had, but you thought the best course would be to actually talk, not berate.

When you started tracing the lettering on his back his shoulder blades pushed together as if it tickled.

“Good morning. Day”, you said and scooted closer.

To your disappointment - albeit not total surprise - he pulled the covers over his head when you put your arm around his waist. Not what you were hoping for after so many days apart.

“Did the nightly prince turn into a hungover frog?”, you snickered. “Hey”, you said in a softer voice, but you could see the silhouette of his hand moving up to his head. “I’ll get you something for your head and make some broth. You need something in your stomach.”

You’d been there a few times yourself; headache so bad you think you’ll never be able to stand on your feet again and nausea so bad you feel you never want to eat again. One fed the other, so starting off with the soup from insta-noodles was perfect - it could be downed in a few mouthfuls and it restored your salt levels. In an hour or two he’d manage to get some fruits and coffee down.

But when you went back to see if he was ready for more you found he hadn’t even finished half of it, seemingly swallowed the pills and rolled around to your side of the bed. You opened the window a bit, hoping the fresh air would make him feel better, before kneeling down by the bed. His hand was peeking out so you held it lightly.

“I put some coffee and nectarines on the table here”, you whispered. “I know you feel sick, but you’ll feel better if you eat. I’m working tonight, and going over to Is in a few hours. You can stay, but I’d worry less if you got a little better before I leave, Kyung.”

When he didn’t say anything you sighed in compassion, kissed him on the hand and let him rest.

¤

He hadn’t eaten anything before you left - nor responded to any of your texts or calls from work - so it was with pity, worry, and determination to get him to eat you opened the door. It was dark in the hallway with only a faint light coming through from the living room window. It wasn’t without some despondency, not having spent actual time with him, you flicked on the lights and looked at the floor to see if he had dropped your spare key through the mail drop like you said. Not seeing it you got a little excited - had he kept it, claimed it, as his?; did that mean you would be getting one in return next time?

When you took your shoes off, you realised that the chill you’d felt on your body and chucked down to you being tired, extended to the floor - it was freezing cold. The radiator was warm to the touch.

“Kyung…”, you sighed.

Guessing he must’ve forgotten to close the window, the thought of laying down in the iced bed made you groan as you turned the corner and braced yourself to go in. The door was closed. He can’t still be here, you frowned. The temperature drop gave you goosebumps in a second and seeing Kyungsoo did nothing to warm you up; exactly as you had left him, there he lay.

“Jesus, Kyung, it’s freezing in here”, you exclaimed, and hurried to close the window.

When you turned on the lamp on the nightstand you saw he hadn’t taken a bite or sip.

“Haven’t you be-”

You stopped dead in your tracks when you saw the look of him. He had the covers pulled up to his eyes, but you could see clear as day that he was drained; his skin had an almost greyish hue to it and his eyes were tired, zoned out.

“What’s the matter?”, you asked, putting your hand on his forehead to see if he was running a fever. He shrunk away from it and turned, making you all the more worried. “Hey…”

You tried soothing him by caressing his back, but he curled his shoulders with dislike and grunted something sounding like “no”, or maybe “don’t”. Realising it was the same thing he'd done in the morning you got worried - scared - for real, thinking this wasn't just some metaphysical hangover. What do I do? Call the emergency services? Loey. What if he doesn't want me to? Shit. Call Loey. You sat motionless, staring at his back for what seemed like an eternity. You wanted so badly to touch him, to hug him, but it obviously made him feel worse. Why… Gathering courage you went to find his trousers, feeling the pockets for his phone.

"Kyung… I'm gonna call Loey. I… Can you tell me if you don't want me to?"

Perhaps it was nothing more than a slow blink, but it could’ve been an OK.

You paced back and forth in the living room, swallowing nothing from your dry mouth, as you waited on Loey to pick up. What if he didn't think it was a big deal, or understand what you were talking about, what then?

"Radio night love with Loey, what's on your mind, caller?", he answered jovially.

"Eh, hi, Lo'. It's Y/N."

"Oo?"

"Yeah, I don't know… I think something's wrong with Kyung. He's-"

"Wrong how? Are you- where are you?" The change in his tone meant he knew what this was.

"At home, he's just lying there-"

"Okay, I'm coming."

"What should I do? He hasn't even eaten in a day."

"Don't worry, I'll be there in 20. Just let him be."

You waited for Lo' on the bedroom floor; sitting out of Kyungsoo's view so he wouldn't feel watched. Having Lo' take control of the situation made you feel both better and worse: he obviously knows what to do - which means it's likely this has happened before. And will happen again. Thinking back on the past two weeks, you see it so clearly now - so fucking clearly. Did I make it worse by fighting with him? Could I have stopped it if I'd caught- the phone rang in your hand. Finally, Loey was downstairs.

¤

"Has he been weird, hyper?", he asked, keeping you in the stairwell.

"Yeah. I thought he was just…", you throw your hands up. "Acting a little wild, having extra energy. We had a fight last week, so I hadn't seen him until last night."

The guilt of having shut him out overwhelmed you and your tears started pouring freely from your eyes. “I should’ve known something was wrong, instead of just-”

"Hey. Hey, hey…", Lo' tried to calm you down, grabbing your shoulders. "It's not your fault. If anything it’s mine, for not knowing he was lying to me...", he sighed.

“Lying..?”

“I asked him if he was off his meds last week. I should’ve fucking known he was lying, he wasn’t just in a good mood. I didn’t get back until a few hours ago so I couldn’t check either. Is he sleeping?”, he asked, and continued up the stairs.

“I don’t know…”

Off his meds?

¤

“Can I talk to him alone?”

“Mm. I’ll…”, you trailed off, but walked towards the kitchen.

“Hi buddy…”, you heard him say in his deep, low voice before closing the door.

You could hear a faint rustling of the covers and gathered Kyungsoo was at least reacting to Loey. Thank god.

You hadn’t waited very long when Loey came back out. He sighed and tried to put on a brave face.

“We’re gonna go. I’m taking him to the hospital…”

“Oh… Can’t you take him home, give him his meds?”, you asked, feeling small and dumb.

“Not with this”, he said, pointing backwards. “He knows he has to.”

“Yeah… Of course. Um…”

“We should go…”, he said awkwardly and turned around.

“Lo’… Will he get back to normal?”

“Yeah, don’t worry. I’ll call you when we’re done, okay?”

When they came out, Kyungsoo was fully dressed. The clothes that yesterday represented a very drunk and stupid Kyungsoo were now doused in helplessness. You could see that everything was heavy for him; standing up, waiting. For a split second the haze covering his eyes was lifted and they were clear as day - for a split second you saw utter despair. You pressed your body hard against the wall to stop yourself from moving, holding your arms crossed tight.

Loey looked around the hallway, lifting up your clothes.

“His jacket..?”

“He didn’t have one”, you said, remembering how cold it was.

“Here", he said, pulling off his own sweater and dressed Kyungsoo in it. "It's bad enough without you catching a cold."

Kyungsoo seemed to let Loey do what he wanted, like a child who's done crying and tiredly agrees to everything. Selfishly, you wished he'd responded to you like that instead of being uncomfortable with your touch.

"Okay, let's go", he said and opened the door. "I'll...call you later."

Through the window you could see them getting in the car; Loey's hand reaching out to put the seatbelt on Kyungsoo. As they drove off towards the paler sky you shivered and breathed out slowly. Don't cry. You heard Lo', he's gonna be fine. Blinking your tears back down you decided there wasn't much else to do than go to bed - unless you wanted to stay up and stay worried - so you washed up and went to lie down. There was a whiff of his scent whenever you moved the covers or pillow, making it impossible to banish the thoughts completely; and so you fell asleep with a ghost in your body, clutching your phone waiting for Loey's call.

You were startled awake by the heavy guitar riffs blasting in your ears.

“Yeah…”, you grunted, still drunk with sleep.

“Shit, did I wake you? It’s Lo’.”

“No”, you said, rubbing your eyes. “I mean yes. How’d it go? How is he?”

As soon as you got your bearings, the somersaults in your stomach were back at it.

“Eh, he’s...not fine, I mean, you saw him. But at least he’s sleeping now”, he sighed, worn out not just by this night’s event, but every night like this.

“Where is he?”

You were desperately hoping Loey would say he was with him at home, but it didn’t come as a surprise when he explained Kyungsoo had been admitted to the hospital and would be staying there for some unknown amount of time. Understanding you didn’t know what - or how - to say or ask, he tried his best to put your mind at ease.

“He’ll be back, Y/N. It’s like he says, just a glitch in his matrix. He’s pretty sedated now-”

“Sedated?”, you burst out. “What do you mean? He was calm when you left..?”

“No, not sedated. It’s a side effect from the drugs he takes to avoid worse ones from his real meds. He gets tired, sleeps all the time. He’ll be up in a few days.”

“Shit, you scared me", you exhaled heavily. "Are you allowed to visit him?"

"Yeah, sure. His mum will call once he's up. You want me to go with you?"

"Should I go?"

Judging by the silence on the other end of the line, Loey was surprised at your question.

"I mean, maybe he doesn't want me to come? He never told me about this. I don't want him to be embarrassed…"

"He won't be."

"Okay, maybe not embarrassed, but like he wants to tell me himself when he's ready, you know. If he knows you've already told me-"

"He's not like that", Loey interjected. "What was he gonna say? That he just had a bad hangover, come on. He'll be happy to see you."

"You sure? What if...ai, I don't know..."

"I'll ask him when I see him, alright?"

"If he says it's okay, yeah, I'll go."

"He's not gonna dump you over it. He was gonna tell you anyway."

"He was..?"

"Of course he was. You couldn't very well get hitched without him letting you know, could he?"

"Hitched? Married? Eh, I think we're a few years away from that carnival, Lo'…", you brushed it off, but couldn't help smiling to yourself.

"That's what the kids always say… All I'm saying is he's nuts about you and I know he'd like it if you came by. Unless..?"

"Uh-uh, no. If he says yes, just you try to stop me", you said energised.

"That's the spirit, Y/N..! But one more thing…"

"What?"

"What you think of my new hair?"

You could tell he was grinning, trying to lighten up the heavy mood.

"Oh, shit. You're blonde!", you shouted, suddenly realising he'd dyed his hair. "Shit, Lo'..! It looks good."

“I wasn’t sure about it myself, but one of the other roadies convinced me to try it.”

“Did this roadie happen to be a woman, Lo’..?”

He laughed and cleared his throat.

“I’m not saying she wasn’t...”

“You two…”, you sighed and felt the absence of Kyungsoo. “You okay?”

“Me? I’m tough as nails, an iron man. Honestly, if I’m not freakin’ out, you don’t have to.”

“I guess… Yeah, you’re right. Thanks. Call when you hear something?”

“No doubt. Bye.

“Bye.”

¤

A part of you wanted the elevator to malfunction so you’d be stuck between floors, unable to see him. Ever since waking up, the scales of excitement vs. nerves had slowly been shifting towards nerves and every time the digits on the monitor changed the buzzing in your body increased. You knew - or at least thought - that it was just a matter of getting the first awkward moments out of the way, but logic was apparently not applicable to this situation. You rubbed your sternum with your knuckles, hoping to relax the electrified lump you had in there, but as soon as the elevator pinged you knew it was no point, you’d simply have to walk in there, ready or not.

As soon as you came up to the desk a kind-faced nurse looked up from her seat. Reassurance.

“Hello..!”

“Hi. Eh, I’m here to visit someone..?”

“M-hm. Who?”

“Kyungsoo”, you answered, again somehow making it sound like a question.

“Hm, okay, let me see here”, she said, and fiddled with the computer in front of her. “Ah, here it is. 4 PM with Kyungsoo...and your name is…”

“Y/N.”

“Y/N. Yep, that’s right. Let me just see he’s not sleeping”, she said, getting up.

In a sudden onset of self consciousness you looked in the window of the entrance door to make sure you looked okay; straightening out your already straight shirt; fixing your hair that looked exactly the same as it had done. When the nurse came back down the hallway and nodded you almost liquified. But it didn’t last long, because peeking out from the room, there he was. After a quick scan his eyes found you and he smiled shyly, but widely. If there is ever a good sort of punch to the stomach, this was that. Like sitting outside when the clouds suddenly give way to the sun to warm your face. There was no way you looked normal walking, not with the way your wobbly legs felt they were gonna give out any moment. But if he noticed anything he didn’t remark on it as he shuffled inside to let you in. He stretched his arms out a little, but brought them back to his side, chuckling. He was as nervous as you were.

“Hi…”

You didn’t say anything, laughed a bit, and went to hug him. His embrace was as before: you could feel he was strong; the contours of his chest against your cheek, his arms reaching round your shoulders - but he was also gentle. The sweet-sticky smell had vanished, and you could smell him, warm Kyungsoo.

"Can I kiss you..?", he whispered.

You nodded, your head still against his chest, eyes closed.

"You better…"

He blew out a giggle through his nose and cupped your face as you turned towards him. Warm Kyungsoo. So soft you registered the way his lips were pushed down as he pressed them against yours, the tickle of his upper lip over yours. His tongue tasted exactly like it should. Too soon did he break the kiss to hug you tight.

"Ugh, I'm so glad you came…", he sighed. "Do you wanna sit outside? I've got a balcony."

"Ocean view?"

"You bet", he said, and took your hand to guide you. "Do you want something to drink, eat?", he asked, filling up a glass of water.

"No, I'm fine. I had a late lunch."

The balcony was barely 4 square ft., with a pair of those white plastic chairs. Looking behind, beyond the banister, there wasn't much of anything; a few trees in a pretty rundown playground, and a seemingly abandoned warehouse. He put his glass on the edge and declared:

"There..! Ocean view", as he sat down.

"Not really what I expected…"

"I'm sorry to disappoint you", he smiled.

It was meant as a joke, but it shifted the energy profoundly. There was a tug in your gut. Kyungsoo frowned, suddenly looking tired, and ran his hand through his hair which fell on his forehead now that it was without styling. He leaned forward and took your hand.

"Hey, tell me what you're thinking."

“Nothing…”

He tilted his head, not letting you get away with that answer.

“I…” You shrugged your shoulders, looking anywhere but at him. “Everything..? I jump to the next question before even figuring out what the previous question was… I’m worried - scared.”

“Of me?”

“No, for you!” You emphasized by nearly crushing his hand. “Never of you, Kyung… I don’t know what to do.”

“You don’t have to do anything.”

“Yeah, I do.”

“Fix me..?”, he chuckled despondently.

“I’m not that dumb, Kyung. It’s just…” You started gesturing widely, so he let go of your hand. “Like on tuesday. Lo’ knew exactly what to do and I just sat there without a fucking clue... I should’ve called him sooner - I should’ve known something was up..!”

“Hey, hey. You can’t think like that”, he said in an effort to calm you down. He put his hands on your knees and looked at you, his brows knitted, upset you’d even consider blaming yourself. It worked. You lowered your voice and finally looked at him.

“I just…wish I’d done something.”

“Listen to me. Don’t just nod your head, Y/N. Listen, okay?”

“Mm”, you said, nodding again as you felt a lump in your throat.

“Whatever you think you did, you didn’t. This is how I am.”

Fast, like ECT, the current went through your face - shutting your eyes tight didn't stop it.

"No, don't cry, babe. Please don't cry", he begged softly, putting his hands on your arms, your neck.

It'd only been the shock that made you start, not your overall feeling, so you managed to stop.

"Sorry", you laughed and dried your eyes, feeling a little silly. "I'm just a little…", you exhaled loudly, fanning your face.

"...little emotional?"

"Yeah...", you sniveled and laughed again. "Little bit."

He looked so sweet with his crooked smile and compassionate eyes, but also sleepy.

"Do you want to go to bed?"

"Is it that obvious?"

"Kinda."

"I'm sorry..!", he wailed. "I really want to be with you, I missed you like hell, but I'm-"

"Tired?"

"So fucking tired", he chuckled.

"Well, it's no use trying to talk if you're over here falling asleep anyway, is there. Come on", you said, getting up. "I'll come back soon anyway."

"You're leaving?"

You looked at him dumbfounded.

"Well, I… No, I can stay. I'll sit with you."

"Sit with me? No, sleep with me."

You looked at each other then burst out laughing.

"Going straight to the point, are we?"

Kyungsoo's rumbling laughter filled the room as he got into his bed.

"Aish… Come here."

"Am I allowed to?"

"What are they gonna do, I'm already in here, ain't I?"

Strange, giddy, nerves took hold when you unlaced your shoes and got into bed, but dissipated as soon as he put his arm around you and pulled you in close.

“Good night”, he said and kissed your neck.

“Night?”

“Oh. No…”, he said drowsily. “The other…”

You waited to hear his final answer, but instead felt him settle; his hold loosening, chest rising slowly.

“Good nap, Kyung.”

[astraeass]

[4] start once again;

[cross-posted in ao3 • fem reader]

previous chapter

pairing: levi ackerman/reader

warnings: cursing, violence

words: 4018

Summary:

Erwin assigned your squad a rare inside-the-walls mission. Ending up being successful, you also try to end up successful on warming up your cold behavior.

You currently stood with Mike besides you in front of your captain's door office, who asked for your and some members of your squad assist's for a 'mission' inside the walls. You had no idea of what it could be about, never being apart of these type of unusual assignments that required the help of the Scouts, probably just some dumb shit the Military Police was either not able to do so or simply were too lazy to care of, at least that was Mike told you since he actually went to help Erwin with a pair of them.

"Hey [L/N], you there?" Mike's fingers snapping mere inches away from your face brought you back to reality. You blinked a few times and then looked up to the blond who was growing impatient "Don’t worry too much, you midget. It’s probably the same as always, a little thief that drunk Garrison members can’t get a touch of" Ignoring his little comment about - his enormous height - your height you sighed and nodded. You weren’t worried about that at all, it was just infuriating that the Scouts, the regiment that already has weight upon their shoulders are assigned for simple but annoying tasks that the two remaining regiments couldn’t take care of.

Mike knocked the door and without receiving a answer at all, he just opened the door and stepped inside with all the comfort as if he was the captain himself, you understood though, Erwin and Mike were almost always seen together attached by the hip and your own experiences with them said that they were pretty close. You didn’t like to include yourself, but you trusted both of them plus the members of your squad with your own life.

"Finally both of you came, we were waiting for you" Erwin said after releasing a sigh when he saw both of your forms coming from the door, he already knew it was Mike when he didn’t even had the time to reply the knock in his door, and knowing Mike, he probably brought you with him since you were still as forgetful as always "Take a seat, you’ll know what we’re about talk about, right?"

"Yeah, that infamous mission inside the walls, huh? Isn’t it [Y/N]?" Said Mike with a teasing smirk adorning his lips while nudging your side with his elbow, you were so close to hit his fucking face. Already tensed thanks to your thoughts before about the incompetent military. Erwin arched one of his physically surreal brows and looked up to your still standing form. Seeing how you looked away, Mike decided to annoy you a little bit more.

"Just this little midget who could make a Titan scurry away with her glare is a bit scared of an insignificant mission" He was starting to hit your more impatient nerve but with a deep breath you answered him "First, I’m pretty sure the mission is not insignificant if Captain didn’t ask for half of his squad's help. Second, you can’t call everyone a midget just because you’re a fucking tree and three, I’m not scared!" Your tone got louder for the more you talked, and your face was getting even more red than before. You could have continued if it wasn’t that Erwin were looking at your bickering with Mike in disappointment, so you limited yourself on sitting on a random chair.

"Now that everything is resolved, I’ll explain what are we doing inside the royal capital" Erwin finally was able to start. Bringing what it looked like three pieces of paper, he spattered them on the table so we were able to have a look at them. On the papers, it was written information of three different persons, their physical description, how the currently lived and a large list of antecedents. But what it caught your attention is that all of them were part of the Underground, the city that surrounded the Royal Capital beneath its floor.

You didn’t knew a lot about the Underground, jus a few things you remembered reading from David's various books. Humanity tried to live underground to escape the deadly threat Titans brought, however the exodus was called off and the ruins of the old attempt of humanity's safety is not populated and formed of criminals and vagrants. The deepest sections were now slums, abandoned by the royal government, David told you that even the Military Police were always hesitant to step inside and now you understood everything.

"Are we really doing the MP's dirty job by catching these thieves? That’s pathetic, we have better things to do Captain!" Your anger coming to get you back again made you complain and stand grabbing the end of the table with force. You weren’t someone’s maid to take their shit off by doing jobs like these. Erwin lifted a hand, palm facing your face, making you frown in confusion and growing irritation "You didn’t let me finish, [L/N]" with that, you just sat down again, looking away in embarrassment.

"Yes, we’re catching them, but not for the Military Police's benefits, but for our own" He pointed the three papers that were situated on the table, the sudden sound making you glare at them "We'll tell them that they’ll have to joint the Surver Corps if they want some type of freedom. If they’re refuse, that I doubt, we will turn them over the MPs, that’s all. So read the information in the papers carefully so we can start and end this assignment as fast as possible"

It was a group of three, two males and a young female. Furlan Church, a medium-sized male with dark dirty blond hair and bright grey eyes. The other male, Levi who was rather short is apparently their leader, has short black hair styled in an undercut curtain, pale grey colored orbs and the only female, Isabel Magnolia a young woman with light green eyes and shaggy auburn locks that were usually styled into two pigtails. For what the reports said, all of them were exceptional using the Maneuver Gear, Levi however stood out the most of the three. So that’s why Erwin wanted a bunch of us then.

"As you all know, Shadis' and my request of changing the expedited formation was approved not long ago. We’re planning to use them for the next expedition, so if we capture them soon, they’ll be able to try it out too"

"We’re going to the Underground tomorrow morning, be ready by then" Erwin moved his own orbs to your, deepening his glare "And I don’t want anyone to be late, got it?" Clicking your tongue, you nodded and stared at the floor when you felt his intense glare on you. Tomorrow's gonna be long day

;;

You currently stood - again - besides Mike, however, this time you weren’t in the usual boring walls of the HQ but walking down the dark streets of the Underground. You knew the journey to find those thugs wouldn’t be easy, but didn’t expect to be this complicated. Firstly, you learn that being woman here is not easy, you hated the disgusting looks filthy men were sending your direction. No, of course their glares didn’t scare a woman part of the Survey Corps, but you couldn’t help but imagine how a defenseless young woman could survive down here, and it send chills down your spine.

Then, there’s children literally starving begging for food or even fighting for it, you never heard that living in the Underground was this hard. Sadly you couldn’t help them at all and this for a reason left a feeling of guilt down the pit of your stomach and it didn’t help that the thieves you were supposed to catch could appear in any moment, right now is a perfect situation, when you’re lost in your thoughts.

Just then, a mysterious harsh breeze of wind made you jump in your spot, aggressively interrupting your thoughts and when you looked for what or who provoked the rush of wind inside a closed space like this your eyes widened when you met your objective "[Y/N], I’m pretty sure it’s them! Let’s just chase them with a low profile like Erwin told us, they probably saw them already" Mike said to you with a low tone and you just nodded and followed no far away from him.

They situated theirselves by attaching their 3DMG on the roof of the city and not far behind, you could see that Erwin was already keeping a track. Following Mike's movements, you regrouped with the rest of your squad. You were sure that the group of three already took notice of all of your squad so you just waited for Erwin's orders. About 50 meters separated your squad and the thugs so you weren’t able to hear if they were talking among themselves or not, but their rushed, annoyed looks and frantic mouths moving confirmed that they were planning something out.

Not long after, the shorter male of the group took the lead and attached his hooks to a bridge nearby and flew forwards the bottom part, passing through it with speed followed by his companions. It was impressive, to say at least, but not hard enough to keep the rest of us behind and actually, we were able to be nearer them this time. Once again, the leader this time decided to double back a rock pillar that was in front of us. You deduced they were trying to confirm if all of you were actually Military Polices, since usually your skill levels suppressed theirs.

Suddenly, the group of three separated themselves. Fortunately, Erwin always had a step towards and already assigned each of you other one of the thugs, with yourself chasing after the taller man, Furlan Church. He gave a sharp turn to your right. Erwin looked back to meet your eyes with determination, knowing what it meant, you just nodded and started to chase after the blond thug.

For the next two minutes, he didn’t seem to have the opportunity to escape at all. There wasn’t any type of obstacle that could slow you down and you already could feel the state of irritation coming from his presence when seeing that you kept coming closer. In desperation, he aimed his piston-shot towards a random house you hoped it was inhabited and fired the grapple hooks. You weren’t far behind so it wasn’t difficult to determine what he was about to do from your camp of vision. For the time you rolled inside the house through the glass-less window, the grey-eyed man was the near the other entrance that would lead to his run out.

However, you had other plans for him, and before he could even lift up his arm, you fired your grapple hook to the wall, mere inches away from his face. That apparently startled him and since he wasn’t far away from the other window, he fell backwards the ground outside. You cursed lowly, and ran towards the window looking down when you heard a loud crash downwards and eyes widening by the sight, a messy Furlan laying on heavy looking wood boxes, eyes tightly closed in pain, it seemed that the rammed into them when he fell down. Not wanting to lose this advantage, you quickly stepped down besides him and grabbed his much taller form by the hood hanging from his neck and ready to tie his hands behind his back.

"Ah.. I never expected to be caught like this" you just scoffed, ignoring his comment. When you were sure that the rope was tightly wrapped around his wrists, you forced him to stand up and began walking towards an uncertain direction. Uncertain until you heard various thuds and more crashes that sounded just like the infamous blades resting on your thighs. It wasn’t far away and by Furlan's irritated look, he seemed to recognize the other sounds as well. You just tugged his tied arms forwards and walked where you thought the sounds came from.

Minutes after, without barely blinking since you were keeping eyes open for any movement Furlan could make, you both finally reached the commotion and no far away another woman part of your squad, Lisa, managed to catch the younger girl, Isabel. You both crossed paths and saw that Mike and Erwin, both cornered Levi "Squad leader, are you alright?" You said with a loud to me once both of you were close enough. Erwin looked at our direction and just nodded "Yes. You both did well"

;;

The three thugs were captured, each of them had their wrists tied up with ropes plus sodden cuffs, to maintain their already blocked way to move and obliged to kneel in front of your squad leader. Erwin looked down, expecting o meet their glares, you stood no far away with Mike, in case any of them tried to do something, which right now seemed like impossible "I have some questions to ask you" He lifted the piston-shot of one of the maneuver gears you were able to detach from their bodies and started his interrogation "Where did you get your hands on this?" Silence.

"Your vertical maneuvering skills were excellent. Who thought you?" Erwin’s words meet even more silence, however, in you opinion their glares were more than sufficient. You sweared that if Levi's glare could kill, he really would have done it... for about six times already. Erwin walked towards the latter mentioned, and you certainly worried a bit about his safety "You are the leader, right? Have you ever received military training?" The deadly state of the grey-eyed man just deepened and that seemed that it was enough silence for Erwin, he looked towards Mike who just nodded in affirmation. You knew what he will do, using force is the only way.

Mike grabbed Levi's hair and yanked him towards the filthy floor slamming his face into a puddle of mud in an aggressive manner. His other two friends gasped in surprise, their already hateful gazes just increasing with worry for their friend. Levi just winced a bit and looked up to Erwin once again "I'll ask again. Where did you learn vertical maneuvering?" Silence just covered the ambience, and you noticed how Erwin was losing some of his massive patience, Levi didn’t seem way too well neither.

"We didn’t learn it form anyone! You think we’re gonna let a civil servant push us around?!" Isabel suddenly said. You jumped in surprise and moved from were you stood to walk near Isabel and Furlan, you would expect anything front those two "We figured it out so we could survive in this dump! Anyone who doesn’t know what sewage tastes like couldn’t understand!" You were keeping a somewhat low likeness towards the three of them, but Furlan's words made you remember how these people lived and growled up, how much of the kids starved to death before even thinking of having a childish dream and you felt compassion invading your body for them. Mentally slapping yourself about how heartless you have been, even if you never voiced out loud the thoughts lingering your mind mere seconds ago.

"My name is Erwin Smith. What are your names?" The blonde, satisfied by their answers, tried to ask Levi again, but he didn’t receive something much different. Mike taking the sign and repeated his last actions, this time you felt bad seeing how the raven struggled to catch his breath and how his ego is being broken in front of his own friends and strangers he didn’t want to know about "I applaud your determination. But keep it up, and we’ll move on to your comrades" you knew what you should do now, but still hesitated a bit. With shaky hands, you grabbed Isabel's shaggy hair softly and neared one of your blades into her small neck. You knew that you wouldn’t kill them, but it still left an uneasy feeling.

"If you’re gonna do it, do it!!" The girl exclaimed in anger, making your eyebrows frown, was your compassion that obvious? Was it that obvious to make Isabel risk her life knowing that she’s actually not doing so? Where is your usual cold behavior towards thugs like them? And Levi’s surprised and worried look that you were able to catch from the corner of your eye didn’t help at all however it lasted seconds since he moved his eyes to Erwin, hatred covering his orbs "You bastard..."

"What’s your name?" Erwin tried again. You still didn’t understand why he asked for it, when you remember he was to one that handled all of you their information papers. You just assumed that he wanted to keep a low profile and brushed the thought aside.

"... It’s Levi" His voice still sounded raspy and you could see how kept struggling when catching his breath.

"Levi, would you make a deal with me?"

The man looked up in surprise, eyes widened and confusion adorned his face. It was nice to see a different expression on his sharp features "Deal...?" Erwin nodded and continued with his proposition "I won’t ask about your crimes. In return, you will lend me your strength, and join the survey corps" Levi's confusion turned into a more incredulous one, and somehow, you understood dumbstruck state "If I refuse...?" He asked lowly, probably knowing what Erwin's answer will be "I turn you over the military police. Considering your crimes, I don’t think you or your comrades can expect decent treatment"

"Choose whichever path you wish"

Levi looked at his side, meeting Isabel's and Furlan's determination. His pupils looked up to you, and you felt your body freeze on the spot. He only growled moving his gaze down the puddle of mud with irritation only to meet Erwin back again.

"Very well, I’ll join the Surver Corps"

;;

Tray in hand, you stood in middle of the room. Eyes searching for a certain brunette and they’re usual companion to sit with, but finding no one instead. Alone, you sat in a random empty table, and waited for Hanji and their squad.

It wasn’t that you weren’t fond of your own squad. But as usual, they weren’t there neither. Erwin passing most of his time inside his office or training. Mike whenever the fuck Erwin is at the moment and the rest had more friends they are bonded with.

Hanji Zoë is an enthusiastic person, it was hard to not know or have talked with them. Is like they have a goal to befriend everyone joining the Survey Corps. And at first, you thought you would have never want to have any type of friendship with them since they’re way too loud for liking but look at you, impatiently waiting for their arrival.

Then there’s Moblit Berner who is a total sweetheart. You suppose that he’s a close friend of Hanji, since they spend most of their time time together and neither of them being here eating dinner with you, reinforces that question.

"They’re probably in that closed library where no sunlight hits and lost their control of time... again" you murmured. It wasn’t unusual that you are sitting alone by yourself, your hard capacity to maintain conversations with anyone is enough to make you give up on that. And the little amount of persons that managed to get on your heart are always occupied with someone or something.

You always stood like a sore thumb in any pair you went and spent your ridiculously large amount of free time with. Erwin & Mike, two tall as fuck blue-eyes blondes and then Hanji & Moblit, their conversations always being about trivial topics you barely knew about. However that didn’t mean you didn’t fully enjoy your time with them. Hanji always tried to make you laugh once a day, since 'you won’t be able to show any expressions if you kept having that resting bitch face' and somehow, they succeed every time.

But you really did want to have a larger comfort bubble with a larger amount of friends. You’ve been a scout for several years already, and haven’t found no one as close as your previous mentioned friendships, mayhap two or three acquaintances and a few talks with your squad companions but that’s all. You urged of human communication.

You waited for Hanji and Moblit with your cold and now empty plate under you for nearly an hour, you were growing impatient of the looks some new cadets were giving you since you literally had no reason to stay in the room if you finished your food or maybe is your R.B.F scarier than usual?

You sighed standing up and walked towards the headroom you shared with most of the women, ready to call it a day but stopped when you heard rushed and low voices down the hall. Moving your head slowly to take a peek, the thieves you captured a week ago were standing in the middle of the narrow hall with irritated expressions.

"I’ll go! You’ll probably make a mess if you even think about entering his office"

"Huh?! You’re saying I’m not capable to do so?!"

"..."

"Levi!! Who do you think will do a better job?"

"We don’t even know if that damn paper is there, but-"

"Levi's opinion doesn’t matter here, he’ll probably just say me anyways"

Paper? Office? Are they talking about the Commander’s office? Why would they enter though...?

"Hey! Of course it matters, if I wasn’t here you two would probably rip your heads off"

A silence with a deep breath.

"Furlan’s going"

"Aw, c'mon! I wanted to see if he used a comb to style his brows!"

Not the Commander’s, but Erwin's office

"If I found something like that, I would have told both you, dumbass"

You heard them walking towards your hiding position, so hurriedly you passed in front of them as if you didn’t heard nothing, just in your way to have a deep sleep in your hard as a rock bed.

They easily got startled by your presence, and you couldn’t stop feeling their sharp gaze on you "Everything okay?" You decided to ask, maybe showing a kinder side helps them feel more comfortable.

"Yeah, we just... just got lost!" Isabel said with a nervous grin, still looking stiff thanks to your surprise appearance second ago.

"Ah, really? I know the headquarters from head to toe, I can help you" You answered with sincerity, waiting for them and if they’re willing to ask you.

"Eh, uhm... yeah of co-"

"No, we'll manage" Levi interrupted Isabel's affirmation, irritation starting to form in his expression, narrowing his eyes in suspicion and cold eyes meeting yours. You would have lied if you said you didn’t feel chill down your spine but you just nodded, waved goodbye at them and restarted you walk to your now changed direction.

;;

Furlan huffed, closing the door behind him in a slow movement "Damnit... there’s nothing"

"Nothing?"

The young man standing in front of Erwin's door office jumped in surprise and for you amusement a high pitched shriek. But his scared expression didn’t last long "W-what around you doing here! Wasn’t it enough to make my caught pathetic?"

You just chuckled and smiled at him, Furlan just scoffed, but you were able to see the little light of confusion adorning his light grey-orbs "Shouldn’t I be asking that? Erwin is my squad leader after all" Furlan limited himself to blush in embarrassment after his realization "I just wanted to talk with him, is that wrong?"

"It is not, but you shouldn’t enter his office without permission" and before he could answer you back, you started to talk again "But it’s okay, this happened my first time too, y’know?" Furlan just laughed awkwardly and nodded "haha.. yeah"

"I gotta go but um, if are here to talk to Erwin you should go back" He said turning around and walking out as fast as he could without looking suspicious.

"They’re so awful at hiding it.. maybe asking Erwin to watch their training tomorrow is a good idea"

Next Chapter

[artpharos]

Can I ask for #19 with Cheeryfairyshipping? Your fics give me life-

Always a pleasure :D :D :D :D :D 

19. “I think I’m in love with you, and that scares the crap out of me”

[Prompt List]

_________

“I think I’m in love with you, and that scares the crap out of me.”

The night is quiet when Bede says those words. A silence hangs in the air, broken only by the crackle of the fire in the hearth in front of them. A typical evening at home, if not for the confession his companion just uttered. 

Bede sits on the sofa next to him, his head bowed. He bites his lip, and his hands are gripped tightly together. He doesn't look at Hop, his violet eyes instead staring deep into the fire. His body is taut, his shoulders drawn stiff and tight. 

Just a few moments ago, they had been laughing over something stupid. Bede's sharp eyes always looks softer on these evenings, his smile strangely tender. But then there was a joke, a dare- and then he turned away, took a deep breath, and spoke so softly that Hop can hardly believe his ears. 

Hop stares at him, mouth agape. Bede's... well, sometimes he isn't sure if they are even friends. But over the years, they've grown up, moved beyond their childhood enmity. So much so that an evening together isn't out of place. Instead, it's usually relaxing- filled with snark and banter and laughter and sometimes a Pokemon plopping itself in between the two. 

But now the seconds tick past in silence. Hop realizes that he's supposed to say something. 

He tries his best to keep his voice light, easy. "Why's that?" he asks, gripping his two shaking hands together. Trying not to betray the strange tightness in his gut, the suddenly loud thumping of his heart in his ears. His feelings roil and turn in his stomach, a dozen thoughts running through his head per second. 

Then a hoarse whisper drags over the carpet. "You have no reason to... reciprocate." 

Hop's heart drops. When he looks, Bede shrinks even smaller into himself. He wants to reach out, but in the firelight, Bede looks so... fragile. Without his sharp words and smirks, his cheeks and eyes look delicate. And sitting down on the sofa, without his height allowing him to tower over Hop, his slender shoulders look far smaller than Hop's used to. 

Gently, Hop asks, "That scares you?"

He laughs into his hands, his gaze still adamantly kept straight ahead. "I probably sound mad, don't I? But yes, Hop, that terrifies me." Bede bites his lip, and his fingernails are digging into his hands so deep that Hop's afraid that it'll break skin. "I've been... unkind to you in our youth. You have no reason to like me. It boggles my mind that I'm even here, now. By your side."

"We were children." Hop swallows. He hasn't felt the sting of Bede's words in years, had dismissed it as an immature child taking out his weakness on him. But now it's clear, etched on his face, that Bede has not forgotten their first meeting. He shakes his head. "It's nothing, water under the bridge. We've both become better people since then, haven't we?"

Violet eyes darken. "It's more than that." He turns to him at last. The smile on his face is so strained, so fake, that's so far from the put-together Bede he knows. 

An urge wells up, and despite his initial reserve, Hop reaches out, grasps Bede's hands in his own. There's a flicker of shock across Bede's face, and he exhales slowly.

"Tell me," Hop says, gently prying his fingers away from one another. 

"What benefit could you possibly see in being with me?" His voice is no louder than a whisper, but the sharpness in his words is painfully loud. "I'm callous. Brutal. Arrogant." He laughs then, eyes dipping once more. "I know what they say about me."

"They should keep their mouths shut," Hop shoots back, squaring his jaw. 

A sigh, a flick of violet eyes. Hop can hear the tinged exasperation in Bede's tone before he even speaks. "Hop-" 

"You're brilliant." He holds Bede's hands tight in his own, stares at him, willing him to meet his gaze. When he finally does, Hop takes a deep breath. "You're always honest with me. You've always helped me- even when we were children. You're strong, and as much as you don't show it, you care. I enjoy being around you, I enjoy learning from you. You make me so much better as a trainer and a person.”

"Is that so?" A small smile graces his elegant cheeks now. The cold chill of his violet eyes warms in the firelight. 

Hop nods vigorously. "A-and, if we're comparing-" he chuckles weakly- "I don't know what you'd see in me, either."

Bede's eyes widen incredulously. His gaze searches Hop's face, before lingering on their entwined hands. Gently, a thumb runs over Hop's knuckles, before Bede raises his hand to rest above his heart. 

Hop breathes, unable to tear his eyes away from Bede's face as he scoots closer, leans in.

"You make me feel safe," Bede whispers. "You make me feel loved, and warm. Like I could take on the whole world, because you're right by my side. That's why I..."

He trails off, unable to finish. A pink flush dusts his pale cheeks, and Bede turns away. 

The heavy thumping of Hop's heart returns. He turns over everything that's been said, everything that hasn't been said. Looks at Bede, at his delicate yet sharp features, at their hands intertwined. 

He squeezes Bede's hand gently, drawing his attention. Holding his gaze, Hop takes in a deep breath. 

"I think... I'd like to love you too."

Bede stares at him. "You 'think'?"

Hop flushes. He has a million and one excuses, a million and one ways to backpedal. But instead, he scoots closer to Bede, squaring his shoulders. 

"Could you kiss me?" 

Bede gapes at him. For a moment, Hop wonders if that was the wrong thing to say, but before he does, the other man starts to laugh. A relaxed, light sound that lifts the heavy shadows that had covered Bede since his confession. 

Hop smiles, and then when Bede turns to him, his violet eyes are resolute.  

Bede brings his hands to his head. Tentative and slender, they trace Hop's nose, his cheeks. Warmth dusting across his skin, tender and gentle. Hop lets him angle their heads properly, and Bede's so close that he can see the flecks in violet eyes, feel his breath against his lips. 

The kiss is soft, sudden. Quiet, and featherlight. But the sensation of Bede's lips, the taste of his cherri-sweet balm, sends a shiver down Hop's spine. Bede moves slowly, tentatively. Gentle, sweet.

Hop closes his eyes as he drowns in the sensation of it. He leans forward, responds- wraps Bede's slender shoulders in his arms. The desire to taste more of him, to feel more of him, swims through him and he buries his fingers into Bede's hair, pulls him closer. 

A soft moan escapes Bede. His hands now dig into Hop's shoulders, and with surprising forwardness, his tongue flicks out and glances over Hop's teeth. It shoots lightning through him, and Hop can't suppress a groan. 

And just like that, Bede pulls away. Their foreheads rest against each other, the sound of their ragged breaths mingling in the night. Hop's cheeks are flushed, his clothes are in disarray. But as he glances at Bede, he sees the smug smile on his companion's face. 

Bede licks his swollen lips, and Hop can still taste the cheri flavour on his tongue. "What do you think?" Bede asks, though the way he looks at Hop tells him that he already knows the answer.  

Hop chuckles. Rests his arms on Bede's slender shoulders, enjoying how wiry arms hold him securely. 

"I think I could get used to this. To love you, if you'd be patient with me."

Bede smiles. Violet eyes shine bright in the evening light. 

"I think... I could manage that."

And Hop leans in to kiss him again.

[kkita]

Attention Hog

A/N: This was a request made by a lovely anon!~ Thank you for requesting <3

Word count: 660

Genre: Fluff!

Request: Could you write a scenario where reader is going to Bakugou’s place for the first time and he keeps telling her to watch out for his dog cause he is hella aggressive and attacks everybody but when they arrive the dog LOVES HER. Like so much that he gets jealous cause the dog is giving her all the love and attention he is craving at the moment.

Warnings: Cursing duh

"Are you sure you want to study at my place?” Bakugo turns to you, his hands holding the doorknob to his house. “Yeah! I think it’ll be cool to see your house” You smiled, “Alright then baka” he said flicking your forehead, “I have really annoying ass dog and he barks and might even bite you” He added. “Oh come on Katsuki, I have you as a boyfriend, how bad can the animal version of you be?” You joked as he glared at you. “Watch it” He says opening the front door. Then a small pomeranian came running at the two of you, it greets Katsuki first, with a loud bark, and then looks at you.

“Now Y/N don’t be scared,” Katsuki says trying to reassure you but you weren’t really scared. The dog turned around and ran away. “I think he got scared of you.” He laughed as he headed up to his room, “I’m so nice though! I could never be scary!” You said, following closely behind him. When both of you got inside his room, his dog came running in as well. “What the? Get out Leo! Shoo!” Katsuki tried to chase him out but Leo just hid behind your legs. “What part of getting out do you not get?!” He yells, “Chill Katsuki, he’s a fucking dog, he doesn’t understand you,” You laughed, scooping the dog in your arms.

“I thought he was supposed to be rabid?” You smirked, hugging the dog closer. “Are we going to study or?” He huffs, taking his notebooks and books out of his bag. “Yes yes Katsuki” you said, sitting down on his bed. “Why are you still holding the mutt?” He asked, his eyebrows furrowed. “Katsuki! He’s clearly enjoying my company, so he’ll stay here all he wants” you said, “For fuck’s sake Y/N, get rid of the dog, you’re not gonna be able to focus” He pinched his nose bridge, you were petting Leo’s head. “Huh? Of course, I’m listening” you said looking up at him, “Clearly not” he says.

After a few more bickering, you finally got to do some of your studying done. But you were got distracted by Leo a lot, he would bark, snuggle with you, and lick your face. “Y/N..” Katsuki said in a low tone as he watched the two of you played together. “Sorry Katsu~ Leo’s just so cute, I think he likes me better than you” You chuckled, Katsuki just grunts before he continues reading. “I need to go to the washroom, be right back,” You said placing Leo down the floor. When you left, Katsuki got off his bed to kneel down to Leo’s height. “Listen here you little shit, stop distracting Y/N, she’s here to spend time with me not you,” He said. You went back inside to Katsuki squatting down and lecturing Leo, “What the hell are you doing Katsuki Bakugo?” You said, trying not to smile. “Nothing! Don’t even fucking think about it Y/N” He said, his face growing red.

“Ehhh? Katsuki, you’re blushing!” You said, poking fun at the male. “Don’t tell me you’re actually jealous of your dog?!” You egged him more, “Shut up Y/N!” He yelled, trying to get back to studying. “Katsu~~” You said, walking closer to the raging boy. “Just go play with the damn mutt,” He said, moving farther away from you. “Awe, I might just..” You joked. Then Katsuki pulled your wrist, turning you around and burying his head into your stomach. “I was just kidding dumbass, let that spawn of satan leave so we can have time together” He said, quite unexpectedly. You decided not to say anything about it and just let it happen.

“Let’s just skip studying and cuddle and watch youtube hm?” You said, pushing him down the bed, laying on top of him. “Sounds okay I guess..” He said, diverting his eyes, but held you closer to him.

☆彡Sen