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troquantary · 3 years

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Edward Cullen: That Boy Ain’t Right

So I was doing a reread of @therealvinelle 's collection of Twilight metas, as one does, and in "Edward, Denial, and a Human Girlfriend" she mentions that she doesn't believe Edward is sane. I thought, "ha, yeah, he's definitely not," and also, "but wait, what does that mean exactly, please say more about that." But since she's already inundated with asks, I've decided to use my own head-muscle and explore this idea. (TL;DR: I start out more or less organized, synthesize some points Vinelle has made across several posts (and have hopefully linked to them all where relevant but please tell me if not), touch a little on narcissism, then take a hard left into the negative effects of being a telepath.)

Just a couple things to note at the outset, though. Theses have been written already (probably) about Edward as an abuser. Edward being insane doesn't negate that at all; he's definitely an asshole and just...a disaster of a human being. (I find it more funny than anything, but YMMV.) I'm also going to try to avoid talking specifically about mental illness and how it relates (or doesn't relate) to abusive behavior -- that's territory I'm not really equipped to discuss, like at all. My starting point is "Edward has a deeply warped perception of reality," not "Edward has X disorder."

So: deeply warped perception of reality. The evidence? Goes behind a cut, because my one character trait is Verbose.

Vinelle provides a great example of it in the post linked above, which I'll just quote because she does words good: "[Edward] keeps acting like his romance with Bella is a romantic tragedy, and all the cast of Twilight are actors on a stage making it as sublime as possible." Edward's the one to pursue Bella, but he does so with the full belief, from the very beginning, that it will never last; Bella will "outgrow" him, go on her human way, and he can spend the rest of eternity brooding magnificently over his too-short romantic bliss. [Insert premature ejaculation joke.] Turning her is never an option, even though Alice, Noted Psychic, says that romancing Bella will either end with her dead (exsanguinated) or dead (vampire).

This framing, where he's a dark anti-hero in love with -- but never tainting! -- the pure maiden and eventually leaving her in a grand, tragic sacrifice to preserve her soul? It's fucking bonkers. Bella isn't a person to him in this scenario. As Vinelle points out, Bella's never really a person to him at all; he falls in love with his own mental construct, cherry-picking from what he observes of her behavior and her responses to his 20 (thousand) Questions to convince himself that she is the ideal woman.

Bella's not the only one who gets the projection/cardboard-cutout treatment. Edward sees everything and everyone through a highly particular, personalized lens. He filters his entire reality, which we all do to an extent, but the thing with Edward is that he starts with his conclusions and then only pays attention to the evidence that supports those conclusions. Often that evidence consists of what he admits in New Moon are only "surface" thoughts -- but recognizing that limitation doesn't keep him from taking those thoughts as representative of what people are. Edward then becomes absolutely convinced by his own "reasoning" and won't be swayed from what he has decided is Objectively True. It's obvious with Bella; it's also painfully obvious with Rosalie. (Vinelle explains this and brings up Edward's raging Madonna/Whore complex in the same post, so refer to that again -- she's right.)

He also catastrophizes. Everything. Bella's just vibing in her room, rereading Wuthering Heights for the 87th time? She's gonna be hit by a meteor, better sneak into her room while she sleeps. Bella's going to the beach with the filthy mundanes their human classmates? She's gonna fall in the ocean. Jasper's cannibal pals are stopping by for a visit, but know not to hunt in the area? DISASTER, DEFCON 1, ALSO FUCK YOU JASPER FOR EVEN EXISTING IN MY AND BELLA'S SPHERE YOU UNSPEAKABLE BURDEN. Edward must believe that Bella is vulnerable and in near-constant peril, to support the reality he has created in which he is the villain turned protector and maybe?? hero??? (!!!) for his beloved. So when the actual, James-shaped danger arrives, he goes berserk, snarling and flipping his shit and generally not helping the situation. His fantasy demands that Bella remain human, so instead of doing the very thing Alice, Noted Psychic, assures him will neutralize the threat (and not just a threat to Bella, either, but to Bella's family and any other human James might decide to include in the "game"), he vetoes it immediately, no discussion. Bella Must Not Turn, and he sticks to those guns despite James nearly reducing her to ground beef, despite leaving Bella catatonic with depression (but human! success!) in New Moon, despite Aro's order and his family's vote and, let's not forget, Bella's clearly and repeatedly stated desire to be a vampire. It's going to happen. But he doesn't accept it until Renesmee busts out of Bella like the Kool-Aid man and the poor girl's heart finally, unequivocally stops.

Sane people don't behave this way. I don't want to slap labels on Edward, but I can't help but note that he comes across as highly narcissistic. He's the only real person in his universe, the lone player among us NPCs. That probably has a lot to do with him being frozen in the mindset and maturity of a seventeen-year-old boy, but I think it's also just...him, on some fundamental level. His failure to connect with others and recognize them as full, independent beings with their own wants and priorities isn't like Bella's failure -- she's badly depressed. Edward is...something else, and I get the sense that his sanity has been steadily deteriorating over time. And a cursory google of narcissistic traits turns up some familiar-looking stuff. He's self-loathing, yes, but also grandiose; he hates himself for the monster he is (and hates most vampires besides Esme and Carlisle for their monstrosity, too) but still feels superior to humans, to the extent that he felt entitled to human blood and resented Carlisle for depriving him of his "proper" diet. He eventually returns to Carlisle, but he's far from content -- the beginning of Midnight Sun finds him in a state of ennui, bored and dismissive of (if not outright disgusted by) everyone around him, that has apparently persisted for years and years. He doesn't play the piano, he doesn't compose, he doesn't enjoy anything...at least until Bella comes along and then he becomes obsessed to a disturbing degree with her and his new, romantic tragedy spin on reality.

[Next-day edit: I’m not sure where else to fit this in, but the way Edward casually contemplates violence against people who have, at best, mildly annoyed him is...chilling. I have a hard time writing off his strategizing how to murder the entire Biology class as a result of bloodlust -- it’s so calculated, nothing like the blackout state of thirst Emmett describes when he encountered his own “singer,” and that is probably the default for when a vampire is extremely thirsty. But even ignoring the Biology class incident, Edward still does things like consider, with disturbing frequency, how he might grievously injure or kill Mike Newton, all because...Edward considers him his romantic rival (despite Bella barely giving the kid the time of day). He thinks about slapping Mike through a wall, which might be an amusing slapstick image, except as a vampire Edward’s actually capable of turning this boy’s skeleton to a fine powder. So it’s, y’know, kind of sick when you think about it.

But even worse than that, when Bella tells Edward about how she flirted with Jacob to get at that sweet, sweet vampire lore, Edward chuckles and then, after dropping Bella home, flippantly observes that now that the treaty’s broken, why not genocide? I’m not even kidding, it’s right there in Midnight Sun; he seriously thinks about the fact that he’d be technically justified now in wiping out the entire tribe because a teenager tried to impress a girl with a spooky story. That is fucked. Remember, Edward was there with Carlisle when the treaty was first established. He knows how remarkable it is that they even came to a truce in the first place, that it was only ever possible because Carlisle is...well, Carlisle, and that it marks a pretty significant moment in supernatural history. He doesn’t care; he doesn’t respect it, or he’d never think something like “Ha ha, if I went and killed them all, I wouldn’t even be wrong. I mean, I won’t do it, but I’m just saying, I wouldn’t be wrong.”

Again: not the thought process or behavior of a sane person. (Or a person that respects life in general -- sorry Carlisle, big L.)]

Finally, whether he's a narcissist or not, I think the fact that Edward has constant, unavoidable access to everyone's thoughts is a powerful contributing factor to his instability. He can tune out the mental noise to an extent, but he can't stop it -- so he comes to rely on it like another sense. This causes issues with disconnect and lack of empathy, of course, but there's another facet to this shit diamond: he's basically experiencing a ceaseless flow of intrusive thoughts. His narration in Midnight Sun suggests that he "hears" the words people think, can "see" what they visualize in their mind's eye, and can sense the emotional "tone" and intensity of their thoughts. Therefore, perceiving Jasper's thirst through his thoughts makes Edward more aware of his own, "doubling" the discomfort. This would be a lot to deal with even from just his immediate coven members, but Edward gets all of this pouring into his head like a firehose on a day-to-day basis because the Cullens live right alongside humans. I know Meyerpires have galaxy brains or whatever, but that's a ton to process.

Besides the compounding effect on his own thirst when he "feels" the thirst of others, Meyer never suggests that Edward has difficulty separating his own thoughts from other people's; even when he was newly turned, he recognized Carlisle's "voice" in his head as Carlisle's. That would create a whole different host of issues around identity, but it looks like Edward's escaped that particular torment. However, I can easily imagine that what he does experience is just shy of unbearable nonetheless, with an eroding effect on his sanity over decades. He can't sleep to escape it; he's on a dishwater diet and probably (like the rest of his family) experiencing a perpetual, low-grade physical discomfort due to his thirst never being fully satisfied; and he's around far more people than is the norm for vampires -- even discounting all the humans, his own coven is unusually large -- meaning more noise.

Honestly, it would be weirder if he were all there, considering.

And even though I feel like I lost a sense of structure around where I started ranting about telepathy, I've written like 1.5k words about Edward fucking Cullen and I think that's enough for one post.

#twilight #twilight renaissance #twilight meta #edward cullen #i stared too long and the twilight abyss gazed back #long post #major credit due to therealvinelle for having basically all the ideas already #theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin too since they agree and build off each other's metas a lot #idk how people who write meta can just crank these posts out i've been here for two hours #edited to add stuff i forgot to mention about edward's disproportionately violent fantasies

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azsazz · 2 years

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hii i wanted to ask if you’re willing to share some of your wips (work in progress) if you have any?? i love your work sm literally makes my day when i see that you’ve posted and i can’t wait to see what u come up with next!!

Oh man, this is quite the ask :) I have so many ideas and requests that it’s hard to figure out right where I want to start because I’m literally so excited for ALL OF THE IDEAS.

I’m currently 2.3k into my next fic so I suppose I can share a little bit of that ;) Not edited yet but here you are lovely. <3

***

His voice surprised you even though you knew he was coming. “You need to come with me.” You turned from your spot, seeing the High Lord’s Shadowsinger standing a few feet away, hand resting lightly on the hilt of his knife. His shadows slithered around your property and you bristled at his rudeness, no greeting, no chivalry, just stalking onto your lands like he was free to do what he pleased.

You had never seen him before, not even in visions of the King of the Court of Nightmares. You had known he would appear to you, having seen it in a vision of the High Lord’s, though you hadn’t been able to make out the Spymaster at all. You wondered if it was a Shadowsinger trait, that you couldn’t see him with your sight.

“No thank you, Shadowsinger,” you reply simply. Just because he wasn’t going to be polite doesn’t mean you weren’t, even if it did mean you had to fake it. You knew exactly why he was here, that the High Lord needed help, but you refused to go with someone who was so ill-mannered.

“It wasn’t a question.”

You study him, holding a hand up to block the sun from your eyes. He’s devastatingly handsome in his leathers, cobalt siphons flickering with power, like he was aware of who you were and what you could do. You watched his scarred hand tighten around the butt of his knife when you made a face. “I don’t care,” you reply boredly, returning to the book in your lap, “Please leave.”

“Get up, and come with me,” he says, deathly serious. His tone sends a shiver up your spine and you grip the edges of your book tighter, “I will not ask again.”

You swallow harshly, rereading the same sentence over and over again in your head. The empty darkness swallowed her whole but inside she felt alive. The empty darkness swallowed her whole but inside she felt alive. The empty darkness swallowed her whole but inside she felt alive.

“You don’t have to ask again,” you cringe when your voice falters, “I’ve spoken my answer.”

Your reply is barely out of your mouth when he’s ripping the book from your hands and tossing it into the grass. You hadn’t even seen him move. Your cry is cut off as he grabs your arms, pinning them together with a band of blue from his siphons. He scoops you out of your chair and launches into the sky, your stomach dropping with the insane movement.

You curse and struggle against him. His grip is so tight that you know you’ll have bruises imprinted into your skin from his fingers.

“I have no problem letting you fall,” he threatens. You look down below, so far up above the city, the people tiny specks on the street. But his attitude fills you with rage. Why does he think that he is better thank you? Because of his ranking? Who was he to trespass on your lands and rip your book out of your hands, all for what?

“Fuck you,” you growl, catching the look of surprise on the Shadowsinger’s face when you use your bound hands and swing them across his face, shoving yourself away from him and teetering out of his arms.

***

I suppose I can also share a few ideas that I will be working on writing in the future:

Unlike Azriel who was all silence and shadows, you were day and light. People wanted to be around you, wanted to tell you whatever it was you wanted to know, and you played that to your advantage for years. Gained their trust with a few shy touches, encouraging words, fake emotion. You didn’t have to do all that sneaking around, no, they would willingly give up anything you wanted to know. And Azriel hated it.

They’d pinned you up to the tree by your wings. You could still feel the faebane in your system, rendering your powers useless. Inch by inch the nails tore through the delicate flesh of your wings.You were prepared to die here.Woozy from the loss of blood you weren’t sure if your mind was playing tricks on you or if it really was the most handsome man you’d ever seen tending to your wounds.

It turns out Azriel is the ravishing type.

Daddy Az cooking with the baby and you’re watching lovingly and his shadow asks what you’re standing there watching for and you reply that you love seeing him like this, when the baby can pull him out of his slump after a tough mission. Sure, you were always there for comfort and to talk to when he needed it, but his baby made him so happy, no matter what.

***

And then there are some of the many requests I have that I can’t wait to write and some of those are along the lines of:

oooh can i request a nightmare trope with az where it’s kind of angsty then turns to fluff?? maybe az has a nightmare that reader dies and he wakes up to find her not in bed and he panics but turns out she’s just in the kitchen or something like that

Az is super nervous when he finds out he has a mate and the reader take it as he wasn’t interested in her ? A bit of angst and fluff

part 2 to The Games We Play where az and his mate reconcile after what happened with elain?

So yeah, there are many stories to be written!

But if any of you have any super interesting ideas that no one else is writing about please feel free to send me requests because I don’t want to write the same prompts that everyone else if writing if you know what I mean so that WOULD BE SUPER AWESOME :))))))))

SEE YOU ALL SOON!

#azriel #azrielwip

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johaerys-writes · 3 years

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Writing Tag Game

I was tagged by @noire-pandora @midnightprelude @mogwaei @serial-chillr @faerieavalon @pinkfadespirit @inquisitoracorn and @in-arlathan thank you so much! :)

How many works do you have on Ao3?

On my main Ao3 blog: 23! I also have a second blog where I post works set in the Dragon Age-inspired Modern AU I've been writing with @oftachancer , featuring my OC Tristan Trevelyan and her OC Aran Trevelyan, as well as a few others of our OCs. There are 5 works there at the moment. You can check them out here: jo_writes

What's your total Ao3 wordcount?

On my main blog, 516,722 words. On my second blog, 193,953 words, but the majority of it is co-written with @oftachancer .

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

High-Flying Birds: 589 kudos (TSOA)

Where Blood Roses Bloom: 467 kudos (Castlevania)

Winter's Fruit: 424 kudos (TSOA)

Like Friends Do: 410 kudos (TSOA)

Memories and Echoes: 327 kudos (TSOA)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Always!! I don't think there's a single comment I've ever received that I've left unanswered. I just love talking with my readers and screeching in my replies. I often wonder whether I come across as a tiny bit insane or overly enthusiastic, but you know what? I am both, so who cares 😂 I just appreciate every single person that has taken the time to read and comment on my works, and I want to make sure they know JUST HOW MUCH

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

I honestly don't think that many of my stories have an angsty ending? Most of them end on a hopeful or at least bittersweet note, I think. I'm pretty sure the only ones I've written that have sad endings were those in my Hector/Carmilla series, You Always Hurt The Ones You Love (CV) which were kind of dark and depressing anyway.

Playground Love, the fic I've written with @oftachancer featuring our OCs Tristan and Aran ends on an angsty note, but things do get better in the next installment, Never Let Me Go, so I suppose I am a little allergic to angsty endings XD

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

The Stars Will Guide Us Home (TSOA, Modern AU) has a super soft and fluffy ending, and Fall Into Your Tide (TSOA, Merman AU) will have a happy ending too.

Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you've written?

I've written a Witcher/Dragon Age crossover, Viper In Tall Grass, where Tristan is a witcher and Dorian a Nilfgardian mage which I thoroughly enjoyed! Also, one of the first long fics I ever finished was a Witcher/Wheel of Time crossover, which I think is genuinely the most... imaginative thing I've written 😂 I never posted it and don't think I will, but I still love it to bits and I'm super proud of myself for writing it.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Kind of? It wasn't directed at me personally (I don't think) but at one of the main characters of the fic. Perhaps it was referring to the way I'd written the particular character, I truly can't say, it was a little vague. It takes a lot to offend me, but this really rubbed me the wrong way. I honestly think I would have been less offended if the person had criticised my writing rather than the character lol. I just don't take any shit when it comes to the characters I love. They're PERFECT, okay? How dare you come into my house and badmouth them 😂 RUDE

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Hell YEAH! I love writing smut, it's great. As to what kind, I think that porn with feelings describes it really well. The smut I write tends to get emotional real quick, even when I intended for it to be straight up porn, so I guess there's no hope for me, hah.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, High-Flying Birds has been translated into Vietnamese.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes!! With oftachancer, two novel-length fics (Playground Love and Never Let Me Go), as well as a few other WIPs that haven't been posted yet, and I'm currently working on a multi-chap fic with my friendo @in-arlathan , featuring Dorian/Tristan and Solas with her Elenara Lavellan, which I'm so excited about! I've also brainstormed and goblined-out over a couple projects with @mogwaei !! I love co-writing, it's so fun :)

What's your all time favourite ship?

Oooh, that's a tough one. I'm super biased in that the ships I love are those I write (both canon and OC pairings) but if you held a gun to my head and asked me to choose I would probably have to say... Dorian/Tristan and Achilles/Patroclus? AAH this is too hard ;w;

What's a WIP you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

I do plan on finishing all of the WIPs I am currently working on. I have a lot of writing ideas that I don't think I'll ever get around to, but when I actually start writing something I tend to commit till the end.

What are your writing strengths?

Descriptions, introspection and angsty/emotional scenes I think are my favourite things to write. I also enjoy writing fight scenes a little too much (and judging by the feedback I receive on them people seem to enjoy them too, heh). Lastly, I've been told that the characters I write are complex and fleshed out and that my pacing is good, and that's honestly the best praise for me.

What are you writing weaknesses?

I struggle quite a lot with self doubt and perfectionism. I worry a lot about how my work will be perceived and whether it's good enough. I often agonise over small details or paragraphs/sentences, to the point where I sometimes post just so I stop myself from going back and editing indefinitely. I have thousands upon thousands of words in deleted scenes because "they weren't quite right" or I changed a tiny bit and the rest didn't fit. So. You get the idea 😅 (Now, how I manage to read through everything multiple times before posting yet still get typos... welp)

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Hmm, I have to say that I do like it when there are foreign words interspersed through the narrative if the story isn't set in an English speaking world or if the characters speak a different language, but I'm not a huuuge fan of seeing a big chunk of dialogue in a foreign language without immediate translation or a hovering text. It kind of breaks the immersion for me and I tend to avoid it generally in my own writing.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Dragon Age, and specifically DAI! That game never gets old for me.

What's your favourite fic you've written?

It's impossible for me to pick just one so I'm going to cheat and choose a few. I absolutely love my current WIPs: High-Flying Birds, Where Blood Roses Bloom and A World With You, and the freaking epic-length fics I've written with @oftachancer . They haven't always been easy to write (especially AWWY, which has the most intricate plot & character development) but I'm so proud of them and I've learned so much while writing them. Of my finished stories, The Stars Will Guide Us Home is hands down one of my all time faves. It had been on my mind for several months before I actually wrote it, and I poured so much of my heart into it. I still get emotional when I go back to reread it, not gonna lie! Lastly, At The Water's Edge (TSOA) is very dear to me and I often go back for rereads.

I'm tagging forth to (no pressure!): @fancytrinkets @elveny @glimmerofgold @asiriushoe @juliafied @boshtet-juggler @schattengerissen @dafan7711 @tessa1972 @fandomn00blr @pikapeppa and anyone else who would like to join!

#tag game #writing #dragon age #castlevania #the song of achilles #tsoa #johaerys writes

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ourstarscollided · 3 years

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jatp fanworks appreciation - day 1 (writers)

motivation - so in true me fashion and my aversion to brevity, i've made three (3) posts (see also artists, gifs/edits) to celebrate the wonderful people in this fandom who have made my jatp tumblr experience what it is; a community of people who simply shout into the void about their love of a ghost band and their fearless female leader. i've enjoyed simply being on the sidelines admiring everyone's love for the show, but i thought this would be a good time to really show my appreciation for all these wonderful people, because if i've learned anything from this pandemic, it's that there is NEVER a wrong time to tell someone that they are simply ✨the best✨.

disclaimer: i don't interact with most of these people personally and i simply absorb their content from afar and scream about how wonderful they are in the tags.

This list kind of became a fic rec, so if you're looking for some wonderful fics to read (or reread), I've also included my favs from the author here as well.

Okay this is gonna get a little long so please bear with me. But I just wanted to preamble this by saying that the fanfiction written by the jatp fandom is what resparked my love for reading fiction after about 3-4 years of not reading for leisure (be an adult they said. it'll be fun they said.). So I'm really grateful for that? I don't interact with a lot of people, just because it makes me a little anxious, but I will constantly yell about your content in the tags as if I were on a set of bleachers with a megaphone.

I also know there are so many wonderful fic writers out there (on Tumblr and not on Tumblr) that make amazing pieces of work, and this is just a tiny peek into that, and is not at all conclusive.

Without further ado here are some writers who live rent free in my head, in alphabetical order, so feel free to just skip to your name to avoid my rambling:

@bluefirewrites -> your Merry Ex-Mas fic had me on the edge of my seat every single time you updated. I am so in love with how you wrote the characters into this and at how many words you churned out for this fic. This was filled with so much adventure, and it was really welcome during a time when the world wasn't allowed to travel. And I simply love all the other drabbles and fics you write, but I especially enjoy the hilarity of Ray Molina, Crime Scene Photographer and Matchmaker.

@captainkippen -> I'm pretty sure Love Drunk was one of the first fics I ever read in this fandom. Your stories and your writing feel so goddamn real and I find myself so immersed in the worlds that you've created. I have reread most of your jatp fics and I still manage to find myself stupidly grinning at my phone each time. Your stories flow so easily and are such perfect characterizations of the characters we know from the show, but elevated to fit into your verse. I cannot say enough how wonderful your writing is and how talented you are!! (also a slight nudge that I am still very much following along with The Key and the Crown and I hope you continue it!)

@catty-words -> Your???? Exhaustive??? Music??? Lists???? The amount of work and dedication and microanalyzing that you put into pulling out every detail from each scene is so admirable. You not only manage to find the details, but you also give us EVIDENCE via your intricately selected gifs. You could've just put the video of the performance, but no, you take your time to find that specific 1 second shot to emphasize your point. And your little fics that you sometimes throw out into the world? They're so beautiful, and so fun to read and I enjoy them so much! (I am STILL screaming about this band's a snack) Thank you for validating my yelling in the tags, and for feeding my hyperfixation to this show. (I'm sad these lists are ending soon, but it's about the journey ya know?)

@lydias--stiles -> I don't even know what to say here because I've yelled so much about your fics that I feel like there's really nothing else to yell. Your Road Trip AU was also one of the first ones I read in this fandom, and really just made me go absolutely feral. Pretty sure I absorbed the rest of your fics in an ungodly amount of time and I just simply think you are incredibly skilled and talented. Every time you post a new fic I always wonder what it's like to be in your head because the ideas you come up with are so unique and so well thought out. Thank you for all the art you create for this show, I will constantly be in awe of you. (Special shoutout to the 5+1 fic that became a 31 chapter monster)

@pearlcaddy -> This list would not be complete if I didn't mention you. First of all, thank you for suggesting this wonderful week, it has been so lovely to see so much love being spread around today. Secondly, I never thought I'd find myself reading a Buffy or a Wizarding World crossover fic, considering I know nothing about those two things. And yet I found myself on various nights after work at 3 in the morning just silently screaming and/or crying into my phone. Your writing is so insane. Your world building is so insane. Your banter/dialogue is insane. The way you capture the love between Julie/Luke in different universes is so perfect. Thank you for gifting us these beautiful pieces of art, and I hope you know that you have at least made one person (me) a very happy reader. I also really admire your dedication to "this will only be a oneshot", only to write like 4 other POVs for it. (Special shoutout to 100 Bad Days)

@ruzek-halstead -> Literally every single fic you have written lives rent free in my head. The way you've managed to build this universe of different Julies and Lukes, and each one still captures the essence of them is astounding. You've extended their characters beyond what we know from the show and I am just in awe of everything you write. Please know that dead of night is both triggering to me and yet the most hilarious thing I have read. (Special shoutout to the Fake Dating Christmas AU and of course the Cinderella Story AU)

@serendipitee -> Your stories and your writing are absolutely magical. I think Write It Down was one of the first multi-chapter fics that I followed super closely and whenever you updated, I would literally drop what I was doing and read it instantly. You have such a way of building the plot and the characters for all of your fics and drabbles, and making the reader just want more. Please know that I am so obsessed with Oh, She Waltzed With the Dead and I cannot wait to see where you take the story!

@sunsetcurbed -> I have no words for your writing. I am simply in awe every time I read something from you. The way you've got down Alex and Willie's voice to a tee is so crazy good. You write their characters and their stories with such grace and care, especially with how you approach the topic of mental health. Thank you for all the research you do and for also writing in your own experiences. I literally binged the Princes Diaries AU during work and lost a good half day to it, and I regret nothing because that fic left me in SHAMBLES. I secretly adore the way you say you're going to keep a fic short, and end up writing an insane amount of words for it. (I have not yet left my obligated long-ass comment on Chapter 4 of the College AU yet because I am still processing the fate/destiny concept.)

@tangledstarlight -> Gahh. Rosie. Please. This is going to sound a little repetitive considering I just screamed at you last night, but now I guess I will just have to publicly confess my adoration for you!!! Thank you for being my first online friend in a very long time, and for putting up with me yelling at you about everything (and also nothing at the same time). I can't believe all it took was one message about your Royals AU for you to post it, but I will gladly take that credit any day. You are so so so incredibly talented with your writing, and your ability to transport me to another world while I read your fics is unparalleled. I adore the way you can come up with a new story to write every day, and then proceed to throw it into your pot of other WIPs. I am so so so so lucky to have gotten to know you and am incredibly grateful that I now have someone to cry about everything with 🧡 (If you read anything from Rosie, you need to read her Seasons/Long Distance Juke "friendship" fic and the Reggie x Photography oneshot that made me bawl my eyes out.)

@thedeathdeelers -> No thoughts. Just soulmates. Jk jk, you know I love your Reggie x Ray x Carlos fics, and I will scream in the tags about it until the day I get more of those fics from you. This is lowkey a threat, but wrapped in kindness. You are so wonderful to see on my dash (albeit scary at times because of the sheer amount of headcanons and theories running through your head), but you radiate such positive energy that it's impossible to not want to jump in and scream about soulmates with you.

Some special mentions to fics that also live rent free in my head:

@sunsetsandcurves wrote a Willex Cruise Ship AU inspired by a Simple Plan song and it’s something I never knew I needed until I read it.

@phantom-curve wrote a Juke fic based off of Coney Island and I would just like to say, yes, it did shatter me. (Here’s the fluff sequel that makes up for it though)

@unsaidjulie wrote the Juke dog fic of my dreams and I simply cannot express how much I want the Molina’s to have a dog now.

@pawprinterfanfic managed to get me incredibly invested in a Star Wars AU even though I know absolutely nothing about Star Wars. I just know that I would die for two (2) space boys.

@sanssssastark your Later universe made me realize that I do very much want there to be more mature content for this fandom (and you constantly deliver).

@theobligatedklutz wrote a Tangled Willex AU that makes me screech every time there’s an update. Just read it.

@alexthedrummerboy your talent knows no bounds when it comes to your Social Media AU. Also she’s written ORIGINAL songs for Alex and Willie?!?!?!

@gennified has this really wonderful modern take on pride and prejudice for Willex and I’m so obsessed with how much miscommunication there is.

@bananaleaves okay, I just found your Tumblr today, and I know you don’t know me in any capacity, but allow me to scream about THIS FIC RIGHT HERE. If anyone in this fandom is to read ANYTHING, it’s this fic. This was one of the best things I’ve read in a long time and absolutely wrecked me. Please just read this.

This turned out WAY longer than it was supposed to, and I’m SO SORRY. (I also tried to make sure I got everyone’s pronouns right, so PLEASE let me know if they’re wrong!) A final sincere thank you to everyone in this fandom who writes. Your talent knows no bounds. Gonna stop talking now before this becomes an essay....

#jatp fanworks appreciation week #fic rec #if i realize that i've missed someone i'm gonna bite the bullet and send an ask to you okay. i will not let my anxiety STOP ME FROM #YELLING HOW MUCH I LOVE PEOPLE'S WRITING!!#idk what else to tag this other than i genuinely think this show saved my mental health and so have all the fic writers.#gonna post this now before i chicken out oky aklfwjepofae #motivation monday

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ldaoec · 2 years

Text

Hope.

I hope she fucking breaks your heart. I hope she meets someone at “T&S”*, and he is everything you are insecure about. I hope she breaks your heart, and leaves you devastated. I will not always hope this. I will forgive, just like I said I would, and you will not deserve it. But, I do not forgive for you. I forgive for me. And, for me, forgiveness will be sweet, and peaceful, and kind. But, it is going to take some fucking time, because, Mason, whether intentional or not, whether planned or otherwise, you told me you cared about me, you told me you’d read every poem, every heartbroken line, and seeing me hurt, hurt you, and then, with a flourish and a pirouette, you stabbed me in the chest, right over the stitches where you broke my heart, the last time.

Fuck you, and your “caring.” Fuck you, and all your pretty, meaningless words. Fuck you, and fuck your meaningless, insincere apologies. And I hope, I really, sincerely hope that she fucks you over just as badly as you did to me. I hope she leaves you devastated. Decimated. So utterly heartbroken, that it chokes you, sometimes. And I hope that, when that happens, you really and truly realize I was the best friend you will ever have. I was the best thing about you, and the best thing to ever happen to you, and you could’ve had me back, we could’ve been friends, but you fucked it up in the cruelest way, instead. What you did to me, what the two of you did by reaching out, was selfish and cruel in a way that defines the word. What you did was such a bad and awful thing, so insane, so unkind, so sadistic, so far past absolution, that, although I will forgive you for it, one day, I don’t know how you will ever forgive yourselves. Then again, monsters really never did have trouble sleeping at night.

Kiwi Foster © 9/27/21

So, I’m trying to write an authors note. And, I’m flipping back and forth between other poems that also need authors notes, and your damn stupid text messages that I kept for just such occasions, and heartache really is a perfect word. You don’t need to edit or clarify it, because, if you’ve felt it, you just know. Heartache is that dull… ache, in your heart, in your chest, almost always accompanied by a halo of nausea, and I know I will be fine. This time, I am trying to feel all of it— the angry days, the heartache days, the nostalgic days. Mercury is back in retrograde, and I think that is why I’m having such a hard time. And, a part of me hopes that you are as fixated on this as I am— me, and how close you were to having me back in your life, and what you did wrong… I mean, did you? I don’t know if you’re an intentional liar or if you believe what you say. You told me you didn’t see us together, at the time. But, you also told me you felt guilty having feelings for Devin, and I feel like that’s a bit of a contradiction. So, you did know we were together. You told me you wanted to give me closure— two days before my birthday, when you actually wanted to be friends. And, this time, you told me you wanted to be friends, and I’m not sure if you even knew what the hell you wanted. So, what I would like to know is… Is this your fault? From your perspective, I mean. Did you screw it up? Because I go back and reread the texts, reference them like ancient scrolls, try and decipher the bullshit— of which your texts are abundant with. I go back and read them like a pirate taking little bits of cyanide, building up an immunity so that, one day, they don’t bother me. I go back and read them when I need to reference them for poetry, and I wish the me now could just chime in to the conversation we had three months ago. Because me, three months ago was trying to reconcile, and me, now would like some answers. But, I don’t think I’d get them from you. Closure, answers, friendship— the truth. I don’t think you’re capable of those things, with me. I go back and I reread the texts, and I see how disengaged you were, from the beginning. I was the stargazer, trying to make constellations out of pinpricks of light, existing eons away— so far, in fact, that they are already burnt out, dead, and gone. That’s one hell of an accurate metaphor. I read your texts like tea leaves, and it’s not that I didn’t see you being a cold asshole— I just tried to tell myself I was battle-hardened, and so I communicated. Again, and again, and again, I communicated with you. “Your long texts take awhile to respond to,” you told me. Like that isn’t what you signed up for, when we agreed to talk it through. “We keep having problems,” you tell me, like telling me you let your girlfriend read the poetry I wrote wasn’t something you should have told me, upfront. Had you been honest, had you maybe thought, “I don’t have a ton of time, the next couple of weeks… better not do this, now,” had you been half the person you said you were, and a quarter of the person you were, every day, when you told me your were my friend— not my boyfriend, not “the boy I was in love with”— a friend. The friend you wanted back so desperately, you reached into the oubliette you left me in and dropped a bed of snakes in. Had your actions lined up with your words, and had you actually tried— we would be friends, now. Instead of, what, almost a hundred new poems since you reached out, we’d be back in orbit, not back in retrograde. From my side, I was so angry, and hurt. I was nauseated panic attacks, my thoughts racing too much to sleep, drafting and redrafting those “too long” texts to edit out all the snarky bits that told you to fuck off, because I wanted us to work things out. I checked, and rechecked how you were perceiving my texts, how I was feeling, because you— you, not me. I’m very clear— can’t communicate worth shit. I was kind, patient, and I was trying. We weren’t having problems— we were coming across issues that needed to be addressed. I was explaining myself, my perspective— a whole email worth of “It’s not you (which it was) it’s me.” And all you said to that was that I was wrong. That, you didn’t reach out for you, you reached out for me. Mason, where is the fucking evidence of that? What I keep coming back to is the night I asked you to talk. “We shouldn’t do this over text. What are you doing tomorrow?” I said. “I can’t do tomorrow— I’m not sure when I’ll have the time, but this is important to me and I want to sort this out.” Only, that’s not what you said. “I may still be busy at that point.” “… Are you wanting to sort this out?” “This is starting to wear on me. It feels like we keep having problems.” Like, I did this. This, as in the grand sense of go back three fucking years, before the weekend you decided to go away with a girl you felt guilty having feelings for, and not text someone you talked to everyday. Go back before that, to the point you noticed me, acting different, and didn’t care enough to ask me why, and remind yourself that this was all your fault. “It’s been three years. I shouldn’t still have sway over your feelings like this.” It has been three years. And, this all could’ve faded away. And, in a way, it doesn’t matter. You’re a shitty person who did a shitty thing, and that wouldn’t matter. Months, years— eventually it would be a washed-out memory, a patch on a pair of jeans you don’t even wear anymore, and it wouldn’t matter. You’re the one who keeps coming back. You’re the one who keeps breaking. I wrote you that email explaining why what you did hurt me, and you did the same exact thing. So, you “shouldn’t still have sway over me, like this.” Fine. You also shouldn’t still be reaching out for God only knows why. You shouldn’t still be obfuscating the consequences and hurting me. You shouldn’t be this negligent. You are too old to keep doing the same shit you did at twenty-one. “New to matters of the heart,” or, “I did think of my actions, just not very well,” or “I’m not good with people,” or any one of a hundred contradicting, pitiful, pathetic, patronizing excuses and lies you told me, all to avoid taking some sort of responsibility for what you did. It’s been three years, and I don’t “still” feel like this. It’s been three years since you cheated on me. Eighteen months since you reached out on my birthday, “for closure.” And three months since you reached out to be my friend. It is taking me awhile to heal. It is taking me awhile to process, and sort through, because there is no logic in what you did— only hurt. It is taking awhile because I was blindsided in a vicious attack, and I don’t quite know how to heal from that. Not first love. Not best friend. Just selfish asshole who keeps reaching out for himself, but blaming it on me. And, why? You obviously don’t want to be friends— so I guess that really does leave closure. Absolution. You, unable to forgive yourself, maybe not even aware of it in your conscious mind. And, on a Friday afternoon, sitting here and writing this stupid authors note three months after the poem… I really hope that’s true. I hope retrograde and your own guilty conscious are keeping you company. I hope you’re just a little haunted, right now. Because I am still sorting through the same shit I was three years ago. And that’s not because you care about me. If you cared about me, none of this would have happened. If you cared about me, we would be friends. Or, at the very least, I wouldn’t be writing poems like targeted missiles. For me, definitely— but written to hurt and destroy you. These poems are the things poltergeists are made of, and I’m not sure how to get to a point where that is not a painful ache in my chest. Because, I take maybe 10% of the responsibility. The rest is all you. And, so, I am suffering from something I didn’t do. And that will never be something easy to sort through. From my side, Mason, you didn’t just lie to me. You lied to yourself. You might really have believed that you reached out for me, that you were doing me a favor, maybe you even believed that you wanted to be my friend. But, at some point, you must’ve realized that wasn’t true. At some point, you had to know you were after something else. Closure, or forgiveness. I don’t know. I don’t know if you did, either. All I know is that healing when you don’t understand why you were hurt— why someone hurt you— is like feeling around in the dark for a pin, or a thumbtack. I know that I am so tried of being hurt, tired of writing poetry about you, and I am so fucking tired of writing fucking authors notes. In the end— by the end, by that last text you never replied to— was the fact that we are not friend, that we are in a war, that I am sitting here on a Friday afternoon writing another fucking authors not about how you hurt me, when you could’ve just been a footnote slowly fading away— was any of this your fault? Or, are you still blaming the whole thing on me? *I know those aren’t the right letters. They were-- but, I am not cruel, nor brutal, nor wanting to be sued. And, given that her name and the right acronym does, in fact, bring up an article about her, I changed it.

#poetry

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tiaragqueen · 4 years

Text

Au Revoir

✂ Pairing: Yandere! Kirishima Eijirou x Reader

✂ Word Count: 1,8k+

✂ Trigger Warnings: Possessiveness, strangulation, implied stalking

[Edited]

***

A sequel to this that nobody asked but I did, anyway. Probably more dramatic than the first one. Quarantine really set off my hidden drama queen side.

If you like my writing, please support me on ko-fi!

“Let this be a sermon, I mean everything I've said. Baby, I'm determined, and I'd rather see you dead. You better run for your life if you can, little girl.” - Run For Your Life [The Beatles]

Kirishima didn’t think he could love someone as much as he did to you. Sure, he was fond of his ex. There were times when he gazed through the window and wondered if she missed him the same way he longed for her presence if his death left an empty spot in her heart that just seemed impossible to replace by anyone else. But time had slowly altered the nature of his romantic feelings into something more… subtle. Mild. Bearable.

Ever since you came to the picture, Mina had eventually blended into the background. Someone who he occasionally reminisced, but never thought about much.

Was this what ‘moving on’ felt like? It sounded so… cruel. Like he was trying to forget her, but he didn’t. He wasn’t that heartless, he swore! He cherished every memory with her and sometimes wondered if things could’ve gone differently.

But people come and go, don’t they? Nobody lived forever, and if his ex had found a much better life, why shouldn’t he? There was nothing wrong with being happy with a new person, right? If Mina came here and brought her new boyfriend, Kirishima was certain he’d congratulate her. It’d hurt, sure, even the idea still sent a dull ache that throbbed his inert chest. But, at least, it was better than seeing her grieved face.

She deserved all happiness in this world. Though, he couldn’t help but wonder if he was just making excuses for his feelings. That he wasn’t actually moving on, more like, rebounding.

Still, nobody could blame him. He’d been lonely for so long, constantly praying and regretting the past. It was time for him to find happiness, and the Gods just so happened to bless him with a new friend. A beautiful, kind young woman that he never got tired of watching even in her slumber.

Again, nobody could blame him for wanting to grasp that blessing forever, right? He was sure that your existence was actually a fruit of his sufferings.

However, you seemed to think otherwise.

“I’m gonna house-sit to my friend’s house tomorrow.”

Kirishima paused, his hand hovered over the clean plate that he’d been helping you to put away. It took much of his stamina to maintain a corporeal appearance, so he settled with his normal transparent figure. So if anyone were to see you, they would’ve thought that you were talking to yourself. The sheer insanity didn’t bother you, though. As long as he minded your boundaries, you could care less if you looked like a madwoman.

Unbeknownst to you, he’d long overstepped the lines. Not that you would’ve known.

“… Why?” The voice echoed in the quiet kitchen, hanging heavily the same way he clung to your presence as if it was his lifeline.

You shrugged. “Why not? She pays me, so I don’t see any reason why I should reject the offer.”

“But I thought…” He nearly choked on his saliva once he discerned your definite tone. “[Name]-chan, you’re not serious, are you? You’re just joking, right? Tell me you are, please.”

You raised a brow, silently questioning his growing desperation. Throughout the weeks you’d come to know him, Kirishima was an affable individual who was hell-bent on assisting even when you insisted otherwise. You didn’t know the full story of how he became a ghost in the first place; he looked uncomfortable when you asked about his past life, so you promised to never bring it up again. But you did know that he’d been living in this humble, suburban house for a long time. Alone. Trapped. Isolated.

So, as confusing as his distress might seem, you understood that he was lonely. For all you knew, you might be his first friend in so many years.

“No, of course not.” But your job only paid so much. There were things that you had to fix, and your savings were thinning in each day. Thus, the extra cent became something that you very much needed. You were lucky that you purchased the house at a low price, otherwise, you would’ve been sleeping on the street by now.

You chose to overlook its vague description when you asked the seller about why the place was abandoned, and how she looked mildly restless at the question.

The plate almost fell from your hands when he suddenly clutched the sleeves of your shirt. You couldn’t see his face, but you were certain that he was pleading at you.

“No, please, don’t go. Don’t leave me alone.” he sobbed, gripping the cloth as though you’d disappear from his sight if he didn’t. “I’ll do anything for you. Just please, don’t abandon me.”

“What? No, I won’t abandon you. Don’t be ridiculous.” You bit your tongue once you heard his soft whimper. “I-I mean, you’re my friend and this is my house. So there’s no way I’d move out just like that.”

“How would I know?” he asked. “How would I know that you wouldn’t change your mind and choose to live in there instead? How would I know that you still want to be with me?”

“Because, as I said, you’re my friend.” You crouched in front of him and patted what you thought was his head. You hoped it was his head. “And friends don’t abandon each other.”

Kirishima examined your face; all the freckles, acne, and tiny scars that adorned your mesmerizing features. All the sparks that brightened your eyes the same way the stars lit up the universe. You were being earnest, he realized it that much. The way you correctly stroked his hair, the way you looked into his bloodshot eyes so tenderly (almost like a lover would), the way you lowered your tone to a soothing whisper, and the way you smiled to appease his raging anxieties. There wasn’t any trace of insincerity in there, and that was why it hurt.

It hurt because he no longer wanted to be your friend. He didn’t want to be just a housemate to you. He wanted to be something more. Someone special. Someone who you’d remember fondly on your deathbed. Someone who would walk with you through all the events – big or small, important or not, it didn’t matter – despite the knowledge that you couldn’t marry him.

But you didn’t know it, did you? And if he told you someday, would you listen? Would you accept his offer for eternal friendship? Would you accept his dogged devotion towards you?

Would you care to know?

You patted his head for one last time and retired to your room, but he couldn’t hear it. He merely stood by the dishwasher, looking at nothing in particular. He didn’t want to entertain the thought of you going to some stranger’s house tomorrow. He didn’t want to imagine what would you do in there, while he waited for your return like a faithful dog. But it almost felt as if the idea was as inevitable as time itself, and nothing he did could change that.

Surely, there must be a way, right? You’d get angry for sure, but you’d understand his reason. You had to. He refused to think otherwise.

***

That was odd. Kirishima usually appeared the second you hollered his name, sometimes even when you barely opened your mouth. But today, he didn’t heed your summon. Perhaps, he was still sulking about yesterday? At the very least, he could’ve come to bid you farewell, right?

Whatever. If he didn’t want to see you, then you wouldn’t force him. And whether or not he wanted you to go, you’d still go nonetheless. The money wouldn’t wait for him to relent to your wishes.

Climbing into your car, you pulled the door shut and turned on the engine. Or tried to, because it refused to turn on for some unknown reasons. You tried again and again, but the engine remained immobile. How strange, you could’ve sworn that it was fine yesterday. Why was it any different now? Did someone mess with your car without your knowledge? You hadn’t spotted anyone suspicious, though.

You clicked your tongue and hit the steer wheel in frustration, resting your head against the headrest. The day hadn’t even started, and yet, you already felt like blowing off some steam. Your tired eyes glided towards the glove compartment, where a piece of paper stuck out inconspicuously. Curious, you undid the compartment and snatched the folded paper. You tentatively opened it and peeked inside, mentally chiding yourself for anticipating the worst. It could be a useless brochure that you’d accidentally brought, for all you knew. There was no reason to get suspicious, right?

Mine forever.

Frowning, you reread it and attempted to comprehend the hidden meaning. Aside from the scrawl, you couldn’t discover anything that might lead you to the sender. A secret admirer, perhaps? If they did, they sure were quite… aggressive. But why would anyone send you this? Who would admire you so much to the point where they broke into your car? You couldn’t think of anyone that had a crush on you, or maybe it was just you being oblivious to your surroundings. The constant pressure from work helped to dull your perception of special sentiments.

Well, you had no time to further inspect the awfully cryptic message. Time kept ticking, after all.

Shaking your head, you put the letter back to the compartment and locked it. You glanced at the rearview mirror to check your makeup, and that’s where you saw it. A shadow sat ominously on the back seats, its crimson eyes glaring daggers to your head. But it wasn’t the abrupt presence that shocked you, rather, the identity of the said shadow.

“Mine forever.”

A pair of hands slithered from behind you and clutched your neck. You tensed up almost immediately and gasped for air, trying to claw the transparent hands away but scratched your skin instead. You could still discern half of his face through the mirror, lacking any cheerfulness that you’d come to associate with him. Years of solitude had molded him into a desperate man, hell-bent on clutching the only light left in his dark and empty life.

But you didn’t expect him to actually murder you.

“Kiri… shima…” you heaved, desperate to knock some sense into his head yet incapable of doing that. It felt as if a part of his shadow had clogged your nose, too. How long would it take until it successfully closed your respiration?

“I’m sorry, [Name].” You heard him whisper in your ears. He felt so close, yet so far. Specks of darkness slowly filled your sight as you struggled to breathe for the last time. Was this how you were going to end? How disappointing it was to perish at the hands of a man you used to trust. Maybe this was the punishment for not listening to your guts. Maybe this was the punishment for heeding security more than your life.

Maybe this was the punishment for giving him false hope with your friendship. But how would you know?

“… I'll see you soon.”

You finally went limp.

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destinygoldenstar · 3 years

Photo

Based on my fanfic season ‘Sketched Artistry Pretty Cure’

Rei Takeo is a highly talented loner. She values good will and effort with a passion, and does everything to show people these things, no matter what format she has to show them with. She is also highly talented with her athleticism, her intellect, and especially her singing and her writing, as she is highly known by the teachers as a fantastical novelist. But while she does have some well meaning moments, Rei comes across to others as unapproachable, given she is tough, hot headed, and incredibly strict about helping others. She can have a really sarcastic demeanor at points. When she sees something she doesn’t approve of, she’s quick to jump in the fight and call people out, even if she becomes a victim in the process. If it gets to a point where Rei becomes in the wrong and things don’t go her way, she becomes distant, and even stubborn. Rei really does care about people’s well being though, and she does her best to stand up for them. However, she can never seem to stand up for herself, and its because of this that she refuses to show her creative side to anyone, telling people that she’s not creative and that she can’t write, even if the opposite is the truth.

Her refusal to show people her artwork came from trauma in her past. Before Rei was this tough jock, she was an even sweeter girl, more energetic, and kinder, where she came across by many as weird, but beautiful, and back then she showcased her talents to everyone, especially through her writing. It was bad enough that her tough demeaner now made vocalists shun her out despite her good voice. But one day, her elementary class had to write a fantasy story for a school report, and when Rei wrote her story, it blew her entire class away, to a point where she was granted an award for her work by her entire school that she would receive in the spring... that would have changed Rei’s life forever, if it weren’t for the fact that when she revealed her talents, it caused people to become jealous and turn on her. Someone she thought was a friend did exactly that, manipulated Rei and got her suspended, ensuring that people Rei thought were friends looked down on her and called her a hack, that she didn’t deserve her admiration and that she was essentially worthless, that Rei’s writing was nothing but a crime that would destroy her in her life. All of that, where this ex-friend treated it as advice, that Rei should not show her creative side because stuff like this would happen again. And that scared Rei for life, where she only gained enemies by showing her creative side and she felt so ashamed of her reward that she threw it away and hid her book somewhere she could forget. Rei never trusted anyone again, and never let people know that she could write. She still did write, as it was what made her happy, but she never showed anyone them. She even cut her hair to ruin her gorgeous look, so that nobody could think she was worth anything, even if her kind will still lingers in her where she tries to help others be better at themselves.

Rei was taken to Sketching Crafts Academy against her will by her mother, because her mother recognized Rei’s writing talent and wanted her daughter to express it to people again. Rei was not thrilled with going to this school, and she kept her nose in a book and pushed people away. That is until she meets Keiko Sakura, a girl who was just as naïve with showcasing her art as Rei was, but when she first crashed into Keiko at the art museum, she pushed her away, but not before she granted Keiko advice on how to better her bird painting.

About a week later at a park, Keiko ended up getting run over by jocks who scold her for her sketch she was making on the spot. Rei sees this and jumps in to defend Keiko, claiming that she was minding her own business and so should they, but when they don’t listen, she throws her book at them. Once they retreat, Keiko thanks Rei, but Rei only stubbornly tells her to be careful where she steps before she continues her walk to class. Keiko however, not only thought Rei was cool, but also followed her because Rei didn’t pick up her book after the encounter, so Keiko tried to give it back. Keiko does figure out that Rei is in her class, and becomes confused when Rei claims to their teacher that she couldn’t write, but ends up getting the highest score in the class on storyboarding, and Keiko realizes that she had never seen a fantasy book like the one Rei had in their libraries. Keiko does eventually find the chance to give Rei back her book, and she asks where Rei got it, but Rei states that it’s none of her business. Keiko however recognizes a yellow neon pen Rei was using to write in the book, and she realizes that Rei wrote that story herself. They do get to express their efforts to each other, with Rei presenting herself as an altruist and Keiko looking up to her as a talented writer and leagues ahead of her. Keiko even tries to encourage Rei to show off her book for their upcoming short story project, but Rei refuses and comments that Keiko doesn’t understand the success of art as much as she thinks she does. Keiko manages to tell Sora about Rei having a neon pen, but by the time their project gets explained, Keiko is partnered up with Rei on it. Sora does try to look after Keiko given that fact, but Rei and Keiko are eventually forced to work on it as just the two of them. The whole time, Rei offers Keiko’s ideas for a story, but its soon realized that Keiko is both creative and disorganized, where Rei tries to improve her ideas as a logical yet passionate writer, and Rei isn’t afraid to call out Keiko’s wild style. (Honestly, Keiko and Rei were the first OCs I made for this series, and they became huge foils to each other as a result, Keiko being an open yet overly naïve with a wild creative style, and Rei being more stubborn and practical with a passionate style in artwork.) They get their short story with some extra editing from Sora, and it becomes a good success... except for the fact that Rei completely denies having any credit for the project, where Keiko felt the opposite. Keiko finally decides to reread the storyboards they made together, as well as look into Rei’s novel to see her talent for herself, and it only makes Keiko want to figure out why Rei is so hard on herself when she clearly has a creative passion. Keiko finds Rei at the same park where she helped her, and Keiko tries to convince Rei that she should embrace her passions, and that Keiko saw for herself that she has it, but it only makes Rei throw the book away and tell Keiko that no one cares for her, or her passion, why would someone care now? Keiko claims that she cares, and that gets Rei to hesitate, asking Keiko if she actually liked what she read, to which Keiko claims that she loved it.

A new monster is created awhile later, and Rei is knocked to a tree. Keiko and Sora transform into Cure Cherry and Cure Azure to fight it, but because the creature fights with fire, neither of their finishers manage to work on it. (I forgot to mention, Cure Cherry fights with paint, her finisher being ‘Cherry Splatter’ where she uses paint bombs. Cure Azure however fights with glitches and can use fabric as chains, her finisher being ‘Azurica Calculation’ where she glitches color onto the monsters) The general finds the short story Keiko and Rei made together, and he rips it apart in disgust, where this catches Rei’s eye as she wakes up, triggering her. Rei scolds the general for destroying a great fantasy, recalling her previous talk with Keiko that gets her to realize Keiko’s identity as Cure Cherry, and Rei actively jumps in front to protect her new friend, even throwing an extinguisher at the monster with equal hot headed energy. Rei expresses that she doesn’t know how to show people her art, but she loves writing fantasies, and those fantasies should be treated with the same love she put into them. This awakens her power as the third member, and the fire powered cure of the team as the golden writer, Cure GoldenAsh. (Cure Cherry nicknames her Cure G)

Rei still continues to be a foil to Keiko as a counter to the pink lead, as they both have different ways of approaching being Pretty Cure that they don’t always agree with. Keiko is a kind and active leader, but had insane ideas that don’t always pan out, plus she is naïve about criticism, especially when the pressure of public appreciation for artwork and the ego that plagues every artist comes into play later in the story. Rei meanwhile is very strict with how things run and isn’t afraid to call out her teammates for better or worse, and it sometimes blinds her into thinking she’s the only one who knows what to do, even when she doesn’t. However, the two despite being opposites, are able to call out each other and compliment each other at the same time, Rei helping Keiko deal with social pressure in being an artist, and Keiko encouraging Rei slowly but surely to return to her authorship.

So I kind of created an art themed Pretty Cure. Add it to the list of Wattpad stories I claim I’m going to make, but never do. And if you know me, I love this concept of literal creativity, and since I’ve been on a magical girl run lately, why not make an art themed Pretty Cure. Seriously, I only briefly made this about a year ago, forgot about it, and bought it back in just two weeks with characters and their story arcs. So let me know if you want me to do something like this for the other Cures in this fanmade season, or if you actually want me to make one.

#Pretty Cure #Sketched Artistry Pretty Cure #Rei Takeo #Cure GoldenAsh #Cure G #Fanmade #Artwork

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snowwhite-andtheknight · 3 years

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(This is mostly edited. It includes the original smaller list, added on to. Also, I’m a bit worried that I might have explained the Canon Divergent fic poorly. I’m sorry. I don’t mean anything bad by it.) (It’s better edited than my first submission for it, that had a bunch of typos, but since this is long, I may not have proofread and fixed up everything worded funny or spelled wrong.)

I’m going to preface this off with the fact that I’m a multishipper, and ship quite a variety of pairings, so this list might go all over the place. (Also, I’ve never written a fic rec before, though I have recommended fics and gushed about several often enough.) First of all, Above and Below Surface by Whitehorse102 immediately comes to mind. It’s probably my favorite AU fic that I’ve ever read for ZenYuki and possibly, my favorite I’ve ever read in general. It’s a Mer!AU; a type of AU that I’m always reading, but Whitehorse102 writes it so differently than any other Mer!AU, I’ve seen. The world building is insanely good, and the story reads a lot more like a published novel than a multichapter fanfic; there’s world building that even takes in parts of canon and plays around with them a bit. The ZenYuki is built up slowly. It’s a work in progress of the writer’s, and such a lovely read, that you absolutely would not regret reading it or rereading it. https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12201172/1/Above-and-Below-Surface Apparently, the first fic I read was Of Assassins and Apples by Realm-Leaper, though since I sometimes accidentally refavorite stuff, changing the date that I favorited it or may have read stuff I didn’t favorite, I might not be accurate with this. It’s an Obi-centric oneshot collection with two oneshots, that I vaguely remember reading. (Eventually, I’ll share stuff that aren’t on Fanfiction.net, because I read all over the place.) I started rereading it, and it has almost all the amazing Obi headcanons that I also have. The first oneshot is an Obi and Zen friendship piece, and honestly, maybe this is where most of my Obi headcanons came from as far as backstory. This oneshot collection of two oneshots is well worth your time! I’d wondered if the Mukaze and Obi scene was canon, had convinced myself that the talk they had was canon and took place during the Tanbarun Arc, but it was this fanfic, the second oneshot has an absolutely incredible and in character scene where Obi and Mukaze talk a few things out. (Honestly, it’s on my mind whenever I read a story where the two of them talk or interact in any way, and it a hundred percent affects the way I remember canon.) So do check it out! It’s a lovely two oneshot collection centering on Obi. https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12933248/1/Of-Assassins-and-Apples My favorite ANS OC right now is Setsuko/Vixen/fox, from Nostalgic Family by your1ocalpotato. I decided to read some of Potato’s work on a whim a few months back, once I realized that Potato wrote stories, and I absolutely adore Setsuko, especially within Nostalgic Family; I just love that universe, the added backstory for Obi, the found family dynamics, the way that Setsuko may be rough around the edges from the life she lived, but she cares deeply for her family, especially Obi. Just the sibling bond that Setsuko and Obi have in it is absolutely incredible, and in that particular universe, Setsuko has barely met Izana, so there’s a chance that that slow burn will eventually pick up, and Izana/Setsuko is such a lovely pair; they contrast very beautifully together, and it’s got to be my favorite Izana/OC pairing. Honestly, Potato’s stories are really good and more people need to read them. https://archiveofourown.org/works/22926751/chapters/54800950 (The Den Series is the name of the particular series I’m talking about, though there is a different story with Setsuko, where she has a different backstory, and it’s pretty much all slowburn Izana/Setsuko. Both are worth a read, though I haven’t finished the longer, slow burn fic yet.) As for An AU I Took A Chance On (And Now Love), it would be the Quarantine AU, that Muselover1901 wrote: Here With(out) You. I figured I’d read a Quarantine AU, and that one was really beautifully written. It’s one of my favorites by Muse. (I may throw in a few other stories that I recommend by Muse, because she’s a super talented ZenYuki writer.) I usually avoid writing any Quarantine AUs or Pandemic AUs unless I really feel like I need to. The same usually goes with reading them; I’ve found at least one good Quarantine AU in about four or so fandoms now. (I usually only read one per fandom, if it seems interesting.) Honestly, this is probably my favorite Quarantine AU ever. It’s longer, and the world is pretty well established. (And it’s a really lovely domestic ZenYuki oneshot.) https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13668279/1/Here-With-out-You I’m going to cheat a little on the next two, because I actually reviewed them (and reviewed them around the same time). First, I want to mention a fic that Made Me Laugh Out Loud; the first one that comes to mind is A Snowy Surprise by MuseLover1901. It’s the first one that pops into my head, though I know that I’ve laughed out loud at probably plenty of other stories. I actually was unsure before I read it whether it was a romantic story or not, and had been a bit nervous about jumping in and reading it, but once I started to read it, it was love at first sight. There’s a snowball fight in it, and I’ll have to say one particular hit made me laugh out loud. The story is mostly a friendship story. (The kind of story that I always long for more of in any fandom, because I love friendship stories as much as I love romance stories, and I also love family stories just as much.) But it’s lighthearted and doesn’t contain too many manga spoilers for me, since I’m terribly behind in the manga right now. (I haven’t read all of Muse’s work yet, because some of them have more manga spoilers than I’m ready to read. I’m biding my time for the day that I can just binge read them obsessively. It will happen.) https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13668260/1/A-Snowy-Surprise So, here’s the story, I’m cheating by mentioning instead of the above one. (I reviewed them around the same time, so it works, I think.) For A Fic That Made Me Friends With The Author, I’d have to say A Quick Library Visit; it’s a short, sweet read, and if you want quick ZenYuki fluff, it’s a go to. I read it around the same time as the above two Muse fics, and for some reason, some of Muse’s newest stories didn’t have reviews, so I figured I’d review. Shortly after, I reviewed A Quick Library Visit and A Snowy Surprise, Muse messaged me to thank me. (She’s really cool by the way.) And then, a little while later, I joined the old ZenYuki Week Server, and Muse invited me over to a ZenYuki Writing Collab Server, and we became fast friends after that. (She remembered me based off of the two reviews I’d left on her stories, which was pretty cool and definitely humbling.) (Also, heads up, I’ll post the fanfiction links to Muse’s stories, but she also posts them on AO3, so they’re there as well.) (I wish there was a reverse for this panel, because through the ZenYuki Writing Server; I met phenomenal writers and began reading their work as well!) https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13668268/1/A-Quick-Library-Visit As for A Fic That Got Me Involved In The Fandom, I may be cheating by mentioning this too, since I starting writing fanfics for ANS practically right after I finished watching Season Two. The Mistress, the Plan, and the Secret by MisusedEllipses really made me long to write for Prince Raji/Shirayuki, and really kicked me off in that little rarepair haven, that Season Two won me over towards. This is an incredible fanfic, has absolutely amazing characterization throughout, and is incomplete on Fanfiction. (I’m hoping that somewhere online, it sits pretty and finished, waiting for me to rediscover it. I may be overly hopeful.) Okay, it ties in onesided!ObiYuki feelings, onesided!PrinceRajiYuki feelings, and wonderful characterization and sibling banter between Eugena and Rona! Honestly, Raji is written so well that it practically reads like canon: a very hard feat indeed for any writer to accomplish. Just, wow! I don’t know who to root for: Raji, Zen, or Obi! It diverges from canon right before the kidnapping, so Shirayuki never gets kidnapped, and eventually a rather interesting Raji and Obi friendship forms, though that’s right where the last current chapter is. It hasn’t been updated in four or five, I guess now or soon, years, but it’s well worth a read. I will recommend this to anyone if given a chance, regardless of whether the person is a multishipper or not. I love the friendship, the romance, the family, and humor that comes along with Raji’s siblings’ banter. It’s just a phenomenal canon divergent fic, and it’s what really made me realize there was a need for more Raji X Shirayuki fanfics, and it left me crazy about filling that gap. https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12156186/1/The-Mistress-the-Plan-and-the-Secret I’m going to make a rather honest claim here, even though I’m not sure how often this writer will come up in what I gush about here, but this writer should: geneee is one of my favorite writers in the fandom. (I’m not sure if geneee is still active.) When I eventually thought of a fic with A Favorite Minor Character of mine, this particular story came up. history doesn’t repeat itself but it often rhymes is an absolutely amazing precanon story where it focuses entirely on Ryuu, gives him some backstory! (It’s an amazing read, and it follows his journey to becoming a Court Herbalist.) Honestly, the fandom needs a lot more Ryuu fics. (On a side note, a fic by a different writer also came to mind with this, but since that’s more romantic than this gen fic, I figured I’d stick with this one. The other one that comes to mind is the only fic where I could find Kai as a main character. It’s by a different writer, but if I can stick it into this recommendation, I will tell you more about it.) Geneee writes really good fics. I know geneee has a fanfiction account, but I think geneee might have an AO3 as well. https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12687531/1/history-doesn-t-repeat-itself-but-it-often-rhymes For Pre-Canon, I want to mention a lovely story by an incredible (mostly?) MitsuKiki writer that may not actually be active anymore. (Unless the writer uses a different site now.) (This story is actually not a MitsuKiki fanfic, though it is still one of my all time favorite stories by fiesa.) Roses, Violets by fiesa. It’s a beautiful story that focuses on Zen, Mitsuhide, and Kiki during the years since Kiki came there. Zen develops a crush on an OC, who doesn’t like him like that, who actually likes Mitsuhide, interestingly enough. It’s not really a romance story, as it focuses on the way time passes and uses summer and flowers to express that. The perspectives shift, so some parts may need to be reread to understand who is feeling that way, but it’s all written so beautifully. You get to see Zen develop a crush and get heartbroken, Mitsuhide trying to be really nice, knowing Zen likes the woman and sort of trying to let something happen between Zen and the OC. Though, Zen feels that that’s hopeless, since she likes Mitsuhide. It’s more a story of the friendship between Zen, Mitsuhide, and Kiki, and what growing up entails. It’s Zen before Shirayuki, and it makes for a rather lovely read. (It’s a multichapter, though it’s not a super lengthy one as far as chapter count goes. It’s well worth a read though.) (fiesa and geneee I discovered around the same time, and I love what both of them write so much.) (So, if you like it, it’s always worth checking out the rest of fiesa’s work.) https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12864975/1/Roses-Violets I was just thinking over how to mention an incredible writer, that wrote two ZenYuki oneshot that I’ve read and fell in love with. (Spotted the oneshot section. If I have to refill part of the Bingo Board later, so be it.) The Art Of Watching Stars Fall by Zen Wisteria on Tumblr. The metaphors and images are just so pretty and beautiful and with gorgeous meanings. (The writer feels a bit like a poet, and since I love poetry, that’s a definite plus in my book.) It’s really fluffy and sweet and contains pretty much all of the wonderful reasons to ship ZenYuki. It’s a delight to read and to reread. It’s highly recommended by me. https://zen-wistaria.tumblr.com/post/117283326416/it-feels-like-years-since-shes-seen-his-face AU That Made Me Find The Source Material: Lyrias Station by Eclectic80. I’m cheating here too. Shh… I’ve been slowly getting into Star Trek over the years very deliberately, and I just loved this fic so much! I found it first on the ObiYuki Community, going through a lot older fics, and then fell in love with just the way that Eclectic80 wrote it! It’s an absolutely incredible Star Trek AU, and a lovely ObiYuki story. (I think I did start with reading Historical Fiction, and it surprised me by being a Star Trek AU.) (On the note of really great AUs, there’s a Star Wars AU for ObiYuki that’s incredible, that I’ll have to refind at some point, and an incredible Harry Potter AU. I actually asked a lot of questions to people who know Star Wars lore far better than I do, in order to work through how much of the Star Wars AU for ObiYuki could plausibly happen in canon. (I think it was all of it. It was a great and engaging read too!) The Harry Potter AU left me obsessed with it, and the accidental soul bonding spell, whoops. But, since I don’t remember their titles or who wrote them, I’ll have to recommend them some other day. (I think they are also far back on the community page. I haven’t finished exploring it, since I took a break a while ago.) Back to Lyrias Station, it’s an absolutely incredible read whether you know very little about Star Trek, nothing at all, or a lot. I fall somewhere in the middle, and honestly, it’s a fantastic read, whenever you want to dig in and explore. (I may have reread certain oneshots in it way too much for my own good, practically back to back. It’s a really wonderful reread as well.) https://archiveofourown.org/works/14414148/chapters/34487988 For A Fic That Gave Me A New OTP, though my OTP is hard to define, so I’m technically cheating here, but Let Me Be Bold by Kaedix. It’s an IzanaYuki story, and that is a pairing that I was curious about, but hadn’t really shipped until I read this oneshot collection. I absolutely need to read the third oneshot; it’s new, and bound to be incredible. But, the first oneshot had me sort of falling in love with Izana right alongside Shirayuki, and the second oneshot had me cheering for Shirayuki, and all in all, it’s an incredible read that is well worth your time, whether just to read something new or different or whether you are on the fence about this fabulous rarepair. (Since it did win me over to the ship, I’m including it here.) It’s incredible! Go read it! https://archiveofourown.org/works/20982494/chapters/49894448 I was trying to figure out a fic that I loved that was under a thousand words, and since I haven’t paid a huge amount of attention to the word count, I couldn’t think of one at first. So, I was going through one of the writers that I really like the writing of, and stumbled upon one that I immediately remembered. Importance by bountifulnuggets. I remembered it strictly as the wedding story where Zen and Shirayuki hugged Obi, who desperately needed a hug. I’ve never read anything like it before, and it’s saturated with friendship. (Nugget is a phenomenal writer, so basically anything by her is really good, so if you haven’t heard of her, go check out her writing. You won’t be disappointed.) (I got temporarily sidetracked before going through Nugget’s stories, by a story I hadn’t read by Eclectic80, a ZenYuki(!) story, that if for some reason, I extend and do more than a Bingo Board (or find another way to include), I’ll tell you the title of. Either way, the story by Nugget is a lovely hurt/comfort fic that is more comfort than hurt, and it’s definitely a beautiful read. https://archiveofourown.org/works/26433481 Finally, found it! Okay, the Missing Scene fic that is my favorite is Do something with this guy by Codango. It explores how Obi went from shooting at Shirayuki to being Zen’s retainer, and it does a lovely job of it! I absolutely adore this story, and the writing of it is beautiful. I took the time to reread it, and Obi’s perspective is spot on in it, and it gives amazing behind the scenes looks at what is happening, mostly over how he came to work for Zen. But, it also includes the scene where Obi catches Shirayuki for the first time, all told through Obi’s perspective, and his thought process is absolutely perfect. His thoughts read very much like the canon ones, that we are sometimes shown, and it feels like it really does contain the missing scene from canon. It’s an amazing read, and definitely worth your time. https://archiveofourown.org/works/4386368 I’m going to cheat again here. (Who knows? These times I feel like I’m cheating, may actually be fair.) But, I don’t know what tropes, I like or whether I’ve read Trope Reversals, but I was going back through ObiYukiFiteNite and ObiYukiMadness on the community, and stumbled upon a story that I read ages ago, that fits kind of well with my Mukaze headcanons, and is goofy enough that I could see him acting that way. It does turn a trope over on its head, too. For Favorite Trope Reversal, I’m going to mention Mukaze’s Gift (Only One Bed) by HideTheRemote. The debate over whether Mukaze supports ObiYuki in it is rather amusing, and the gift, itself, is rather funny as a wedding gift to his daughter and son-in-law. It’s a delightful read that certainly surprised me. (I’d also never seen the One Bed Trope with a married couple before, so that was an added bonus.) I imagine that when he has grandkids one day; he’ll realize that his gift wasn’t used as intended. (Poor delivery guy, who had to know what kind of bed he was delivering, based off of the sheer awkwardness of the situation.) https://hidetheremote.tumblr.com/post/172338198868/mukazes-gift-only-one-bed For Gen Fic, I’m going to go with Shirayuki’s Laugh by otomiya-tickles. This is a multichapter story, and not every chapter is actually gen. (There’s onesided ObiYuki and established ZenYuki at parts.) It’s literally a story where Shirayuki’s friends find out she’s ticklish slowly, and each one gets to tickle her. It takes place within various parts of canon, and is a really fun read. I’m pretty sure that I laughed every time she did. (Even though I probably shouldn’t admit that, since I wasn’t being tickled.) It’s a blast from start to finish, and I ended up reading all of the chapters in one go. Most of it’s just friendship. (Ooh, my favorite chapter is probably the Raji one. Shh…) Also, it gives a reason as to why Shirayuki chose not to ride on Mitsuhide’s horse, after her first time riding on a horse with him. (It’s just an absolute treat, and I never knew tickle fics could be this fun!) I highly recommend it. https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11861915/1/Shirayuki-s-Laugh I’ve included so many stories already with some of my favorite headcanons and ones that feel canon, but I realized I still had a story to share with that category. So the story That Contains My Favorite Headcanon is Bittersweet Heart by DemonHeart42. It’s actually a new fic, and a onesided ObiYuki story. (Like canon, there’s established ZenYuki.) It’s sort of post canon, as it shows Obi and Shirayuki’s friendship after Shirayuki and Zen are married. It flows like canon, and the writing is beautiful. The headcanon bit that strikes me is earlier in the one shot, Obi’s reasons for never calling Shirayuki by her name are addressed, and it hits I’m pretty sure all of my Obi headcanons for that, but not only that, but there’s thought behind how long Obi’s loved her, which he can not trace back to a particular moment, since he feels that he’s always loved her, though he certainly knows he didn’t fall for her the first time he saw her. (It matches my headcanons for Obi’s feelings to a T, pretty much.) It’s a lovely read, and the only Akagami No Shirayuki-Hime story that DemonHeart42 has written. (It does make me long to read more stories by DemonHeart42, and I undoubtedly will, if another Akagami No Shirayuki-Hime fanfic gets posted online by this writer.) I’m just really happy that I found a spot to include this story; it’s one of the few new ObiYuki related fanfics on fanfiction, so I don’t think many people have read it. And it’s one of the best that I’ve read for them. https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13687412/1/Bittersweet-Heart Since I am a major ZenYuki shipper as well as ObiYuki shipper, I don’t know if I should include this as the canon divergent fic, but I absolutely love so many scenes in it. Fragments by happybubbles is what I initially put for Canon Divergence, so most of the description will express that, but I’m going to say that it’s a story that that made me Weep Real Tears. As a quick explanation, I don’t care for ZenYuki breakup fics for the most part, but I love this one. (And I read way too many of them to complain too much, I guess. I still read them, because I love ObiYuki about as much as I love ZenYuki, and the breakup fics obviously can be incredible, like the part in Fragments where the breakup happens.) (I really hope that I explained this right, because I know obviously this type of canon divergence is popular and really well loved, so I know that those AUs are good in a lot of ways. I’ve read many of them, with varying levels of interest, and I don’t know how to explain it, because I’m not trying to knock an AU.) This is where shipping ZenYuki makes it hard sometimes to ship ObiYuki, plus my love of Zen often gets in the way, and it pains me pretty bad to read breakups for Zen and Shirayuki. So, this particular story is the breakup scene, I remember, where Shirayuki broke up with Zen, and she’s still dealing with the emotional fallout of it. She’s not numb, and though she feels correct in breaking up with Zen, it hurts like she wouldn’t believe. And seeing Shirayuki in so much pain, while dealing with a ZenYuki breakup to boot, really hurts me. I cried alongside her, and Obi takes the time to comfort her and spend time with her. Everyone else that day gives Obi the turnaround and won’t explain what happened to Shirayuki, because Obi hasn’t seen her. Just, this scene hurts me so much. (I love the ObiYuki developed in the story, and Zen was written pretty well from what I remember, so it’s definitely worth a read.) Also, I’m in the camp with people that only ship ZenYuki, as in I think if canon broke up ZenYuki, I’d be broken, even if it established ObiYuki or RajiYuki or something else I ship or am partial too. This is the only clarification that I have that makes me wonder if ZenYuki is my true OTP. I have a tendency of reading a ton of ObiYuki fanfics, because that’s my go to for ObiYuki, especially AUs. I love AUs a ton, regardless, but ObiYuki AUs hold an extra special place in my heart. (My favorite ObiYuki AU, is the Obi meets Shirayuki first ones; they are all so different and so, so good!) (Also, if anyone knows the name or author of the ObiYuki story, where Obi consumes poison and almost dies, that one made me cry as well and is also really good!) I remember so many of the scenes and often forget that they are all in the same story. (I loved the parents day chapter, where Ryuu cooked for Obi and Shirayuki. I adore the first chapter of the fic, where Obi’s caught napping.) (It diverges from canon through ZenYuki breaking up, by the way.) There are probably other scenes within it as well that I absolutely adore. I’ve either read all of the chapters or most of them, even though it goes way further through canon than I’m currently at. I just love the story, and all the beautiful scenes that Bubbles writes, that I couldn’t just not read more. https://archiveofourown.org/works/8031781/chapters/18392416 For Favorite Trope, even though it’s probably not my favorite trope, just a trope led fanfic that is really, really good, it’s the Harry Potter AU, I talked about up above! I finally found it, and realized I could stick it here! Welcome to Hogwarts, the School of Social Anxiety and Crushing Expectations (and also Highly Illegal Soul Bond Spells) by Hymn. I’ve never been a fan of Harry Potter, but somehow this story sucked me in from the get go, and I really love the kind of slow burn ObiYuki in it, the longing for the other that they are pretty sure is either from the spell or unrequited, despite being requited, and all of the trying to balance school life with being accidentally soul bonded together, and just even the background references to ZenYuki are really good. The scenes within the story are absolutely adorable to a bit awkward for Obi and Shirayuki, and I think I read this oneshot at least five times so far. Mostly from the original Tumblr post, before I discovered that it was on AO3. Since then, I’ve read it on AO3. I have no idea how this story has gripped me so much, but it has. It is a hundred percent worth your time. You really should read it. (It’s inspired off of the Accidental Soul Bond Trope, which led to the amazing Star Wars AU by someone else, a lovely Soul Bond focused AU that is also really good, and I can’t remember what else. Maybe I do have a soft spot for this particular trope that I never really knew about before discovering the older event that they were written for.) https://archiveofourown.org/works/18772360/chapters/44535142 I know this is technically not a fight scene, but for Action-Packed Fight Scene, I’m going to choose the car chase scene in At Her Not-So-Secret Service by infinitelystrangemachine_old. I don’t read a lot of action packed stories in general, but I definitely don’t read many action packed stories for ANS. (And I’m pretty sure if I named any myriad of Chuck fanfics, that wouldn’t count. Shh…) So, I’m sticking with this story, because it came to mind when I remember action packed scenes, and the writing here is brilliant. (I obviously love the car chase scene and the aftermath of that, where Obi’s sitting in the car with her.) There’s a touch of humor every now and again, and the writing style, itself, is very beautiful. I really, really hope that this story gets updated some time in the future. There’s something about a Modern AU, Bodyguard AU, for ObiYuki that is so good! (Or any Modern AU Bodyguard fics in general, because there’s one for Chuck that is so, so good. I know I should just talk about ANS here, but oh, my gosh, I seem to really like Bodyguard AUs lately. Shh…) So, even though there’s no fight scene here, and there’s no attack or even portrayal of her kidnapping prior, At Her Not-So-Secret Service is really, really good. (I really like how easily Obi seems to get along with everyone Shirayuki knows, the description in chapter one of the difference between Zen and Izana talking to Obi, the balister scene, which should sort of count as an action scene too. Either way, the writing here is really good and the scenes are very memorable.) (I think about the car chase the most, followed by the balister scene the second most.) (I had to look up this story just to find it again for this. It’s so good!) It’s a lovely story to read, with a lot of action-y tension, some complicated feelings, and a great mixture of emotion. Also, the humor is pretty great too! So, it’s well worth a read. https://archiveofourown.org/works/9837023/chapters/22080446 For my new Canon Divergent fic, I’m going to include Yours, Truly by Eclectic80. It’s canon divergent also due to a ZenYuki breakup, as well as a pen pal correspondence. I love the pen pal basis of it, Shirayuki and Obi not knowing who they are writing to, the whole slowly falling in love and coming to understand each other better through it. The picnic date thing, just the whole premise of the fic is so good. It’s an outstanding ObiYuki fic, and I’m absolutely in love with the idea of pen pals in fanfics, which this is the first that I’ve seen of pen pals within fanfics, I think, but it’s so good. The comfortable anonymity, that draws them closer, the hint of budding feelings, the advice Obi gives, or ideas he shares. The fact that they both know that the other is similar to someone they know, but are pretty positive that it can’t be the other. It’s a blast to read and so, so much fun! I highly recommend it. https://archiveofourown.org/works/21943480/chapters/52370371 Oh, my gosh! I found the poison story! It’s also the story with the kiss scene that comes to mind for me and so many others. Okay, for Steamiest Kiss, I’m going to go with And That’s The Reason We Need Lips So Much by Sabraeal. Okay, this story is absolutely amazing on so many levels. The almost death scene for Obi is so painful to read, and I cried pretty much from the very beginning of this fic, despite not knowing who several of the characters are, whoops. I’m still terribly behind in the manga, but the plot was so good, the writing was beautiful, and I loved it. Also, I loved the teasing and playfulness that goes on when Obi retells the story of Shirayuki saving his life, and of course, the way that Shirayuki gets him back for that. I love the silliness of the first time that he tells the story, where Zen, Mitsuhide, and Kiki are his main audience. It’s silly, and sounds so fairy tale-esque and romantic, that Obi’s surprised me, and it fits so well! Then, there’s the way Kiki joins in the banter. (She’s great in general!) The way Mitsuhide reacts and of course Zen’s silence. Then, there’s the later on, Shirayuki getting Obi back, Obi being unable to handle the teasing, and the loss of his good reputation, the way she gives in and finally asks him to kiss her. The way the whole kiss goes. Ryuu showing up, after having dealt with two other people refusing to work. (That decided kissing was better than work, much to Ryuu’s disappointment.) Ryuu’s support of Obi and Shirayuki; I feel so bad for Ryuu here, and yet, I’m pretty sure that when I finally get far enough in the manga to meet the other two characters caught kissing, I think I’ll ship them, though I’m not positive yet. The way they restore Obi’s reputation and the applause that they’re met with. It’s funny, full of banter, great characterization, and so much more! I just love this story, and I’m so glad that I managed to refind it. (I’d forgotten that all of these amazing moments were in one fic. Sabraeal wrote this absolutely amazingly!) Please do go read it! I’m positive that it’s one of my favorite oneshots. https://archiveofourown.org/works/8705884 I don’t know if MitsuKiki counts as enough of a rarepair, but there are not a lot of fics out there for them, so I’m including this here. For Rare Pair, The Five Stages Of Partnership by geneee. It was the first MitsuKiki story to come to mind for me by the way, and I love this side pairing so much. And this story does a very lovely job of expressing Kiki’s feelings and going through the years, starting with when she first met Mitsuhide and carrying on throughout all of the time getting to know him. (Aww, I could have counted it in Canon Compliant as well, but oh well.) https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12365055/1/The-Five-Stages-of-Partnership I probably should flip this and the Rare Pair slot, but I’m not going to. This one is a gem of a story as well; it’s a beautiful MitsuKiki story told from Mitsuhide’s perspective. (I was going to include a different MitsuKiki story by this same author, but I seen the summary for this one and remembered being blown away by it, so I took the time to reread it just now.) Silver by fiesa is the story I picked for Canon Compliant. It can take place in a few different spots in canon, but it really doesn’t sway the story into canon divergence. It’s a beautiful, very poetic MitsuKiki story, that captures Mitsuhide’s feelings beautifully, both towards Kiki and swordfighting in general. It’s an absolutely gorgeous fic. (It’s also just seven words over one thousand.) You really should read this story by fiesa; it’s one of my favorites by this particular writer and one of my favorite MitsuKiki stories. Also, check out more by fiesa; fiesa’s an absolutely incredible MitsuKiki writer! (Writes mostly MitsuKiki, but there are stories that fiesa’s written that aren’t MitsuKiki as well.) https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7801925/1/Silver Okay, I mentioned this story once before, but didn’t give you the title. (Also, on a quick side note, I will probably be posting a short fic rec right after this, with a few other fics, that I sort of teased by not listing the names of before up above and one additional one.) (Also, any writer I mentioned is worth reading as much of their work as you can, because they’re all so good!) Okay, so here is that Star Wars AU, I mentioned being absolutely in love with. Starlines by infinitelystrangemachine_old. So, this Star Wars AU absolutely blew me away, the first time that I stumbled upon it. It’s beautiful, and it ties back into the accidental soul bond trope, and I actually did ask people who know Star Wars way better than me, if this was possible within Star Wars, and yes, yes, it is! Shirayuki and Obi end up soul bonded and see each other randomly in places where technically the other one isn’t. Like a personalized hologram, I guess, since only they see each other. The first time they see each other is awkward for them both, and they don’t initially know what’s going on. (It’s great! Plus, they are on different sides of the war.) So, slowly they become friends and fall in love. It’s a premise I hadn’t seen before, and had me asking various Star Wars inspired questions, since it is so good! This I’m using for the Free Space on the board, the Apple. It’s an absolute delight to read. https://archiveofourown.org/works/14404602/chapters/33266145

#ansficbingo #fic rec #sctwilightvampwolfgal #submission

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mobagehelllocal · 4 years

Text

“do you even lift bro?” extra notes i - iii:

I finally finished rereading all my “do you even lift bro?” stories! Man, I feel like I wrote them ages ago. As I mentioned before, I have been going back to do grammatical edits and what not. In the process, I’ve also been noting down my thought process for writing these pieces, and little easter eggs I put in for fun~ This extra notes will contain my thoughts from versions i to iii!

*please do not read if you haven’t read “do you even lift bro?” ver i - iii.

The title came to me immediately upon reading the request hahah. originally, it was meant to just be fluffy and cute... but I think it’s actually pretty funny. To me, at least hahah.

Divus’s was the one exception, but i’ll get into that later.

The reader personality was based on one of my ocs. She was also the oc in my special Malleus x OC story, “bright eyes.”

I went with her because she was an OC, who, in my opinion, is the epitome of a optimistic fangirl lmao. If you’ve read “bright eyes” then I think you’d understand what I mean hahahah.

For ver i--I think I definitely wrote Riddle’s first. followed by Leona, Azul, Malleus, Kalim, Vil then Idia.

One of my best friends is a super huge Riddle stan (if you’re reading this, hi sis!) so I wrote his story primarily with her energy in mind. In short, she would most definitely bench press Riddle.

Her energy + the base reader personality makes Riddle’s story one of the most fun actually. His reader is probably the most mischievous ones--which I thought balanced out well with Riddle’s actual personality.

Leona’s story is heavily influenced by pride dynamics. It’s common knowledge that it’s the female lions who hunt hence why in Afterglow Savanna--the women are stronger. Leona is royalty, so I assumed that from a young age he’d be told to wed a strong woman.

I also need to note that Leona is described as respecting women. here’s the thing, I’m pretty sure it’s specifically women from Afterglow Savanna because they could bench press him. That’s not to say he doesn’t respect all women--he probably just puts women from Afterglow Savanna on a different standard because of his experience with them. Either way, you surprised him greatly, and assume that Leona will not be able to look you in the eye for awhile.

Azul’s story specifically takes place after Jamil SR Lab Coat episodes and Azul’s R PE Uniform episodes. I found their relationship funny, and thought it would be fun to continue off from there.

Most of Azul’s stories come from me just wanting to fluster the hell out of Azul... that being said, I did delve a bit into the magic of TWST for this one. I remember it was Crowley (was it in the prologue?) who noted that magic is dependent also on how much someone believed in their ability to do something. This is why Azul falls down haha, his will faltered and he stopped believing.

Jamil doesn’t get a break at all, doesn’t he? The reader and Jamil actually vibe really well because they both understood enough about Kalim to know what he was doing.

I think I remember being pretty stuck on which one to do for this. I think it was reading Jamil’s SSR Dorm Uniform story that really made me have an ‘aha’ moment on how to write it--since something like this happens on there.

Surprisingly for Vil, once I had figured out that I wanted to write him getting mobbed, and being saved by his reader--it flowed out really fast from there.

For Vil, I always end up bringing up the issue that he’s something like a celebrity and you are one in the million who adore him. I thought that this was just one way to sort of tackle your relationship together.

I really enjoyed highlighting how you love Vil different from the rest who adore him. The importance of how you see his flaws and still love him--especially because as an influencer Vil has a certain pressure to appear in a certain way.

Idia’s was the last one I wrote, but I had a lot of fun because I stuffed it full of references. I figured that Idia’s thought process would be more of him thinking life as a game, that’s why he uses terms like support level often in my writing.

On that note, I know ‘Gao-Gao Dragon-kun’ is a reference to Tamagotchi, but I decided to just merge up Tamagotchi and Pokemon in this case. Hence why ‘Gao-Gao Shield and Sword’ existed lmao. I didn’t put too much effort in that and just switched ‘Shield and Sword’’s order HAHAH. I did consider making it ‘Gao-Gao Gun and Wand’ though.

‘Water Crest: The Seven Dorms’ is a reference to Fire Emblem: Three Houses. I felt incredibly clever when I came up with that HAHAH. But also, when he references support levels, he’s talking about a gameplay in Fire Emblem. For people who aren’t familiar with this, essentially, FE has a system wherein the more you use two units together the likely their support will rise. The supports go from C-B-A-S, with S as the highest. When Idia says he works hard on S Support, he literally means he went out of his way to spend time with you and befriend you. Isn’t that cute? When he references SS Support, it actually doesn’t exist HAHA, but he didn’t realize there was “another level” sort of thing xD

When I write funny Malleus stories, the other members of Diasomnia are likely to be hiding in the bushes. Most funny stuff probably fly over Malleus’s head so... The other Diasomnia members pop in to react hahaha.

To Malleus, your tendency to treat him as a regular person, and not treating him as a lord--makes him incredibly fond of you. It’s because you treat him as an equal, that makes him treat you as an equal. I also think this was the piece where he started calling you “bright light.” There’s no deeper meaning to it, he really just sees you as a bright light--like a brilliant star. You, literally, light up the world. :,)

Ver ii order of writing--Ashton, Dire, Divus. I had come up with the premise of Divus first though.

I think Dire was the hardest one for me, because I kept worrying about things like--’what if he’s not actually like this,’ or ‘what if that isn’t how he would actually act’ etc etc. but I think it turned out pretty alright.

Dire, for all his claims of being a kind person--I think actually is a kind guy. He does have the tendency to be a little manipulative and whatnot... but at the end of the day he does care.

For Divus, I sniffed GBF Belial’s Perfume because I wanted to get inspired (and I sort of headcanon they smelled alike) but it went horny too fast.

Divus is naturally intrigued with you, and he’s also very aware you’re attracted to him. So it amuses him to fluster you. He’s very aware of how good-looking he is, and he doesn’t mind flirting with people.

How I chose to portray Divus is actually based on how @avionvadion writes Divus in her story “Once Upon A Dream.” please check it out! It’s a super cute fanfic about a girl in Twisted Wonderland~

Ashton... I was surprised at how fast I was able to write his piece actually hahha. I went with a no braincell, but cheerful and all-around good guy.

I don’t think there was a lot of Ashton to really research about, but... I just tried to make him good guy Gaston... for now xD

Ver iii--it went Floyd, Jamil, Jade, Rook, Lilia, and Epel.

There’s this scene in, I think, the first episode of Avatar: The Legend of Aang where Appa wouldn’t fly. So Sokka just straight up... insulted? Appa? i guess. Then Appa suddenly COULD fly, and Sokka was just straight up amazed and yelling... Yeah that was my primary inspiration for Floyd’s story.

Floyd... Floyd is twins with Jade, let’s not forget that. I’m sure Floyd is actually really intelligent, he just isn’t in the mood to be sometimes. Hence he’s able to really understand something when you say something seriously. I think Floyd would always take you seriously when you say something important.

For Jade’s story, my inspiration was the story of my dad tripping. It was only witnessed by him and mom. My mom talked about how terrifying it was to watch a six foot tall man fall down. My dad just found it funny. Hence, I thought, Jade should trip.

Other than that, the general idea I wanted was that it’s our time to pamper Jade. He’s one of the two characters who I know would love to pamper his reader. So this was his lover’s chance to pamper him. Also, he’s also one of two characters who would have an idea about your insane strength.

Jamil, much like Jade, is the type of guy who pampers the people he loves. He doesn’t take to being pampered too well. He’s not used to it.

Jamil also appreciates getting his hard work recognized, so I’m sure he has a praise kink hahah. He’s also easily embarrassed. I think Jamil needs someone who acknowledges all of his hard work, who also accepts his mistakes.

Epel was the last one to write, and actually a genuine struggle for me. I always... end up writing something in relation to his struggles with his face and femininity. Epel is someone who wants to be seen as a real man, so I worried about what he’d think of a reader who had the strength he wanted.

I figured if it was anyone else, it might inspire jealousy in Epel--but because it was his lover, he was able to push aside his negative feelings and look at the bright side. You’re truly his ideal, and he wants to learn how to be strong from you.

Rook was another tough one. There did exist a version where you surprise him... but the more I thought about it, the more I found it impossible for Rook to not know or not have an idea. He’s the other character who would have an idea about your strength.

On that note, thinking about a romantic partner for Rook... I thought what was best was someone who wouldn’t find him odd. Who would actually try to learn about him.

Lilia’s... was also pretty easy given he enjoyed hanging upside down a lot in the main story hahah. Lilia cute, I love him. Also, when will Lilia stop messing with Idia? Probably never tbh.

I touched upon the topic of mortality and immortality, but because I wanted this to be lighthearted--I chose not to pursue it. It would drag the mood down, but honestly--it’s something we can’t ignore and is very integral in relationships with Lilia or Malleus.

#aimuses #ainotes #ai lift series

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ninja-go-to-therapy · 4 years

Text

Uno Reverse Time Baby

1144 Words; Koshiro Slapathon Event

TW for Cowshiro, Pet Whump, and all the other ickiness associated with Damage

Cole woke up to his head pounding. But rather than the familiar comfort of the Bounty, his surroundings were more reminiscent of a basement.

He stood up, only to be stopped short by a familiar weight around his neck, a familiar chafing around his wrists.

No.

“Hello, Pet.”

Cole flinched at the sound of his former captor’s voice. He turned around slowly, finding himself face to face with Koshiro.

“It’s lovely to see you again.” Koshiro said, gently reaching to put his hand on Cole’s cheek.

Cole bat his hand away, glaring. “What do you want?” This was bad. He was alone with Koshiro. He took a step back, trying to keep his breathing even.

“I think you know what I want, Pet.” Koshiro stepped forwards, affection in his eyes. “I want you to stay here.” He said softly. “Where I can take care of you and protect you, and we can be happy, Pet.”

“Don’t call me that. My name is Cole.” Cole growled, but his words lacked any bite. This was bad. He needed to get out of here.

Koshiro only smiled, roughly grabbing Cole’s arm. “Don’t be so silly, Pet.” He twisted it harshly, forcing Cole to the ground. “You’re going to be a good boy and stay right here while I get you some food.” He smiled blithely as Cole glared up at him. “You’ll settle right back in quickly enough, I think.”

Cole snarled. He refused to be dragged back down again. He refused.

As Koshiro turned away, presumably to grab that food he mentioned, Cole came to a very sudden realization.

If he had been drugged, it had already worn off. And he wasn’t chained to the wall, either.

Was Koshiro really that arrogant?

That opened some… possibilities. His powers were blocked, yes, but he still knew how to fight. He was a ninja, after all.

So the moment Koshiro turned his back and Cole made this realization, Cole struck. He struck hard, and he struck fast.

Koshiro went down easily. Strong as the man was, he wasn’t exactly a trained fighter. And though Cole was hindered by the cuffs and the ever-encroaching sense of terror, he had the element of surprise on his side.

Once Koshiro was down and out, Cole searched him for the keys to the handcuffs. Finding nothing, Cole dragged the man over to the familiar cage in the corner. It felt right, shoving the bastard into the confines of what still haunted Cole’s nightmares. It was almost worrying, how satisfying it felt.

Cole paid little mind to that worry.

He had some handcuffs to get off, after all.

+=+=+=+=+

Koshiro’s head was pounding as he came to.

That won’t do, he thought, trying to recall what had knocked him out. Was his Pet in danger?

No, he realized with a start, it had been his gorgeous, stunning Pet who had attacked him. Which simply could not be allowed at all.

He’d have to find his beautiful, lovely Pet and discipline him. It would be hard, so very hard, to hurt his pretty, delightful Pet so soon after getting him back, but if it had to be done, then Koshiro would do it.

He moved to stand up, only to be stopped short by the bars of his charming Pet’s cage.

“You really are a glutton for punishment, aren’t you?” He said softly. Oh, his Pet would be getting quite the talking to. And most definitely some time in the cage. With the blindfold and the muzzle.

Of course, Koshiro had to get out of the cage first. Which shouldn’t be hard. He had hands, after all.

It was then that Koshiro noticed the handcuffs, tightened to the point of chafing. It was then, as he was staring at the handcuffs in disbelief, that he noticed the collar, just tight enough for him to feel it.

“What?” Koshiro felt something… unfamiliar creeping into the corners of his mind. What was this feeling?

“You’re awake.”

Koshiro startled, before turning to face his glorious Pet. Fuck, his Pet was so beautiful. He would look better if he had his collar on, of course, but regardless. His Pet was near perfect.

But something about his Pet’s face was… off. There was a darkness to his visage, an emptiness to his eyes that was vaguely unsettling. It wasn’t quite like how his eyes had been when Koshiro and his Pet were happy together, but it was somewhat close.

Pet stepped forwards. “Enjoying yourself?” He asked, voice shaking.

His hands were trembling.

Koshiro began to feel nervous. He didn’t like it. Gathering his wits, he decided he might as well lecture his Pet anyway.

“Let me out, Pet.”

Pet shook his head. “Fuck you.”

Koshiro frowned. “Now now, let’s not be so rude to Master, Pet.” He rattled the bars of the cage, much like the way his Pet sometimes did.

The irony was not lost on him.

But Pet only laughed, face split into a wolfish grin. “Oh no,” He said airily. “You’ve got to stay in there and reflect on your actions.”

Koshiro flinched. “Now, Pet, let’s not do something we’ll regret.” He hardened his gaze. “Let me out.”

Pet came up to the bars of the cage, teeth bared and eyes vacant. “I think you’ll find, dear Master, that you’re the one who has anything to regret.” He smacked his hand against the bars, making them rattle ominously.

All of the confidence that Koshiro held seemed to just drift away, as if flowing down a drain. What had happened to his lovely Pet?

Indeed, Pet was trembling, but not from fear. And he was smiling, but it almost seemed like he was in some way being strained, pulled and twisted past his limit.

Like something in him had snapped.

But Koshiro was nothing if not dedicated when it came to getting his way. He was the Master of this relationship, after all. “I don’t quite think you’re in your right mind, Pet.” He smiled. “Let me out of this cage so I can help you.”

Pet shrieked with laughter. “You think I’d let you out? After all you’ve done to me?” His expression hardened into an animalistic fury. “No. You’re going to stay in there, and you’re going to think about what you’ve done.”

Pet paused, standing up and stepping back. “Now it’s your turn to be the Pet, Master.”

Koshiro bristled. The nerve—

“And who knows,” Pet continued, voice sickly saccharine, “Maybe if you’re a good boy, you can earn some privileges.” He made his way to the door.

Koshiro snarled. “I am not a Pet!”

Pet only chuckled at that. “You are now.” He paused in the doorway, turning back to Koshiro. “Don’t worry, Master.”

“I’ll take good care of you.”

Koshiro had never found the sound of a door shutting to be more terrifying.

---

EDIT: oh my God. Oh my God oh my God oh my God. I’ve already reread this twice and I’m still screaming because it’s so insanely good. I can’t even I need to go screech into the void euphorically.

#btw yes this is what the uno reverse on the out of context spoilers ment #*meant #I was gonna write this myself but then the slapathon happened and honestly I think Zaz wrote this way better than I could have lol #anyway I LOVE IT #koshiro slapathon #not mine #the damage tree #non canon damage #ninjago #ninjago fanfiction #koshiro #tw koshiro #cole has snapped #tw dehumanization #tw pet whump #dehumanization #pet whump #submission

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ghost-in-the-hella · 4 years

Note

Numbers 9 and 45 on the dialog prompts :)

Apparently, I’m incapable of writing a “short” anything. Unbeta’d and written while very tired with no rereading or revisions, so there’s a good chance of errors.

Enjoy!

(Edit: Added in the italics because they didn’t survive the cut & paste.)

---

“You’re in love with her.”

It isn’t a question. Rachel doesn’t ask questions, only makes statements, even when she’s seven months dead.

Chloe doesn’t respond. She releases the smoke from her lungs in a long, steady stream and watches it fade into the dark sky. It’s almost four in the morning. The only sleep she’s managed to get so far tonight has been plagued with nightmares so intense they leave her more tired than if she’d just stayed awake. It’s been that way pretty much every night since she and Max left the ruins of Arcadia Bay behind them. She is much, much too tired to talk to ghosts.

Naturally, Rachel doesn’t care. She steps across the narrow hotel balcony and plants herself directly in Chloe’s line of vision, leaning her elbows casually on the railing behind her. “I can’t say that I’m surprised. The way you always talked about her… Nobody gets that pissed about somebody they aren’t hella gaybones for.”

Chloe snorts out a laugh against her will, almost choking on a mouthful of smoke. “You’re hella gaybones,” she mutters with half-hearted humor.

“Mm.” Rachel holds out a hand. “Can I bum a smoke?”

Chloe sighs. Her eyes start to sting, so she closes them. “Rach…”

“What? A nicotine craving is a nicotine craving.”

“Rachel, you’re dead.” The words twist in Chloe’s throat.

“So?”

“So dead people don’t smoke. So you’ve been fucking cremated.” Chloe taps a fingernail against the charm she wears around her neck, a small vial filled with a tiny portion of the ashes that the funeral home assured her were Rachel’s. The rest of Rachel was divided into halves, one sitting in an urn on the Ambers’ mantel with all of their other trophies and the other scattered into the ocean by Sera. “So you are smoke.” Chloe flicks the ashes off the end of her cigarette. They fall on her bare legs but she doesn’t brush them off. “Besides. I’ve only got half a pack left. Not wasting them on someone who doesn’t even have lungs anymore.”

Rachel shakes her head and laughs. “Asshole. Anyway, aren’t you quitting?”

Chloe eyes her uneasily. She knows this isn’t real. She knows she must’ve nodded off on the balcony with a cigarette in her hand and in a few minutes she’ll be woken up by it burning down to her fingers. She knows that this is all in her own head. But it’s still disconcerting when Rachel knows things that she hasn’t told anyone else.

Rachel gestures to the sliding glass door behind Chloe’s chair with a jerk of her head. “For her. Right?”

Chloe grunts in acknowledgement. She can feel her cheeks heating up even though it’s fucking cold outside.

“Aw. Cute. Have you told her yet?”

“What, that I’m quitting?”

“No, dumbass. That you’re in love with her.”

Chloe takes a long drag and lets it out as slowly as she can, even though it’s even more pointless to stall when she’s talking to a figment of her imagination than when she actually used to talk with Rachel. “I told you,” she admits at last. “And look how well that went.”

“But I’m not Max. And it wasn’t all bad, was it?”

“No.” Chloe’s throat seizes up and her eyes fill with tears. “No, it wasn’t all bad. Rachel...”

“You should tell her.”

“I know. But--”

“But you’re scared.” Rachel nods thoughtfully. “Oh, Chloe.”

The cigarette drops from Chloe’s fingers as she curls up into herself, sobbing like a baby into her bare knees.

“Chloe, Chloe.” A gentle hand strokes the back of Chloe’s head. Chloe thought it might feel cold, if it felt like anything. But it’s warm. It smells sweetly of jasmine.

“I trusted you,” Chloe gasps out, the words raw and wet.

“I know.”

“You hurt me.”

Rachel’s voice is soft with regret. “I know.”

Chloe shudders and wipes at her tears. “I miss you.”

“I miss you, too. I miss you like I miss breathing. Like I miss smoking cigarettes, and swimming, and kissing, and laughter, and sex…”

“Please don’t say that shit to me right now. I-I can’t, not right now; I can’t.”

“I know. I’m sorry.” A soft kiss presses into Chloe’s hair and Chloe sobs. “You should tell her. I know you’re hurt and you’re scared, but… You should tell her.”

Chloe shakes her head. “I can’t. She… I can’t lose her. I can’t lose her like I lost you, like I lose fucking everyone!”

“Which is why you should tell her. Tell her so she knows where she stands. Because I guarantee you she’s just as scared as you are. Aren’t you, Max?”

Chloe lifts her head with a sudden jolt. “Max?!”

Rachel’s gone, but the sliding door behind Chloe is open and Max is standing there looking worried and perfect in her rumpled pajamas. Chloe rises up unsteadily from her chair, pausing to scoop up her smoldering cigarette and crush it out into the ashtray. “H-hey, Max…”

“Hey…” Max looks like she’s searching for the polite way to tell Chloe that she just witnessed her being seven different kinds of batshit insane.

“Uh. How much of that did you hear?”

Max worries at her lip for a few seconds before answering. “Enough that I want to give you a big hug. Is that okay?”

That almost sends Chloe off into another round of tears. She nods and lets herself be drawn into Max’s warm embrace.

“It’s really late,” Max says eventually.

“Yeah.”

“And it’s way too cold out here for boxer shorts.”

Chloe laughs, and it almost feels okay. “Yeah.”

Max gives her one more squeeze and gently pulls back to look Chloe in the eyes. “Can explanations wait until morning?”

Chloe nods. “Definitely.”

“Good. Then let’s go back to sleep.”

Max takes Chloe’s hand and leads her back inside. Chloe hesitates at the door, casting one last glance out into the empty dark. She takes a deep breath, not sure if she’s hoping for a whiff of jasmine or not. All she can smell is cigarettes.

#writing prompt #prompt fill #LiS #Life is Strange #fanfic #pricefield #amberprice #chloe price #rachel amber #max caulfield

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avarkriss · 4 years

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Which of your fics...

Thanks for the tag @thegreenkid 💕 💕 💕

...did you think was going to get a bigger reaction/audience than you got?

I am honestly not sure why any of you read what I write lmao, I never expect any kind of reactions but I’m so glad that so many of you enjoy my writing!! Every comment fills my heart with joy :) unless it’s on rock candy, then I’m filled with dread aldkjdjf

...got a better reaction than you expected?

Bro I was n o t expecting the Obi/Cody/F!Jedi!Reader threesome paradise; (with a nasty bite) to be so popular. It’s got over 300 notes here (wild) and over 1200 hits on AO3 (even more wild like,,,, cannot wrap my head around it). I do love that fic, so I’m glad everyone has been digging it!!

...is the funniest?

rock candy. hands down. no contest.

...is your darkest/angstiest?

Mmmm probably unspoken. It doesn’t get explicitly dark but not speaking it out loud was kind of the point of the whole fic. It was very cathartic to write tho, and I know it’s helped others as well.

...is your absolute favorite?

Omg do not make me pic ugh. It’s really a tie between Fulminare (daddy-wan kenobi) and Salt (my super indulgent birthday gift to myself). I can’t pick between them!

...is your least favorite?

Any and all of my crack pieces, but especially rock candy. Every single time that fic gets a hit/kudos/comment/whatever, I feel my soul getting pulled further into a special circle of hell being carved out just for me

...was the easiest to write?

I Don’t Care came to me super naturally and was a ton of fun to do!

...was the hardest to write?

Writing Mirrors was like pulling teeth because it was my first long piece after a decently long hiatus and general period of feeling just awful, but with a lot of love and encouragement I was able to finish it :)

...has your favorite line/exchange/paragraph?

OH that’s in Fulminare!

“Maker above,” you pleaded, lifting your hips to get closer to him, chasing another release before his hand pushed you down, a sinister smile playing on his lips.

“There is no such being that can help you now,” he growled. A familiar taste of copper filled your mouth while he brought his finger to your...

...have you reread the most?

My own work? I don’t go back and re-read a lot of things unless I’m editing because I find mistakes more easily after letting things sit for a while. But I do often revisit Fulminare, Salt, paradise, and I Don’t Care!

Of other people’s works? I’ve read the unholy; trilogy and Sharp and the Glorious Thorn series by @beskars an insane number of times, late night devil (put your hands on me) by @darthstyles also a ton. I’ve read so many incredible fics just search fic rec on my blog, all are excellent, and should be read immediately!!

...would you recommend for someone reading your work for the first time?

I mean I write pretty much porn all the time so whatever kink floats your boat I probably have a piece for you... for plot, Of Castles and Magic for sure. For smut, I’m going to say I Don’t Care. For a laugh I’ll say rock candy... if you dare.

...are you most proud of?

Mirrors. I said somewhere up there that it was the first full length piece I did after a bit of a hiatus and a pretty terrible month. It was hard to get through and I almost gave up on it several times but with a lot of love and encouragement I finished it (and it got a great reaction which is so much serotonin and encouragement in its own way) and it really helped push me back into writing again. I am both proud of and thankful for that piece, and for the friendship that allowed me to finish it.

always no pressure tags: @beskars, @darthstyles, @penfullofwordsaheadfullofstories, @hansoulo, @opheliaelysia, @spookyold-saintjm, @huliabitch and of course if i missed anyone that wants to play along!

#about me #the tag game tag #all my fics are my favorites #except the crack those can go sit in a dark corner somewhere #im p sure my after life is going to be an eternity of kneeling on beans for writing those pieces but #worth it

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lanonima · 4 years

Photo

I have finished Jing Wei Qing Shang so it’s update time again~

I’m taking a few days off before I start anything new, but the next thing on my list is about a quarter of the length so it won’t take long once I start.

Romantic - Fucky is not how risque a work is but rather my opinion of the attitude/quality of the main relationship, the way the characters interact with respect to one another. I like a lot of stuff in fiction but if you’re easily made uncomfortable, stay towards the top half.

Easy reading - Plot-heavy is how I personally consider the plot’s intricacy and successful implementation, regardless of the author’s intention.

Jing Wei Qing Shang

Author: Please Don’t Laugh

Quality: 9.8

Enjoyment: 10

Comments: I have to start off by saying: damn girl. The improvement evident in this book is absolutely insane. A few minor issues prevent me from giving it a 10 out of 10 – her transitions are still extremely abrupt, the ending is slightly weak and some plot points remain unresolved, and her use of narrative repetition is too heavy-handed for my taste. Other than that, this book leaves me almost speechless. Very similar to Female General and Eldest Princess, there are many similar themes and events. But while I thought FGEP was fairly cute, I like this one way better. If you like angst, political intrigue, and lesbians, you should definitely read this book. I have no doubt that Please Don’t Laugh will continue to improve in the future, and I really look forward to following her career.

Would I read it again: 100%, I absolutely intend to read this again sometime in the future. It's very long and very dense but delightful and ultimately worth it.

My reviews for everything else are under the cut.

Mo Dao Zu Shi

Author: MXTX

Quality: 9.5

Enjoyment: 10

Comments: I have a huge emotional connection to this novel. There are some weak parts, the tension isn’t quite even, she’s pretty terrible at erotic scenes and not great at fight scenes…but that being said, I love the characters and some of the plot points really ripped my heart out. This is a novel that’s really driven by the characters so if you’re a character-focused person like me, definitely look into it (as if we all don’t already know it lmao). I really, really love this story. Every single adaptation of it has also been great, but the novel is still my favorite. It was my introduction to xianxia novels too, so you can say it changed my life!

Would I read it again: I’ve already read it twice, and consumed every adaptation (sometimes also multiple times)

Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System

Author: MXTX

Quality: 6

Enjoyment: 5

Comments: I’m not much of one for comedy and, as I discovered, not really into system novels either. Clearly weaker than MXTX’s later work, many of the characters are somewhat bland, she hasn’t quite found her groove yet. It’s not my style but the fandom is hilarious and the fans constantly produce content that I actually do find entertaining so overall I still have some fond feelings for this one, even if not for the source material.

Would I read it again: I found a different translation and am willing to try again in the future, I’m also willing to watch the donghua. But I can’t guarantee I’ll like it any more than previously.

Tian Guan Ci Fu

Author: MXTX

Quality: 10

Enjoyment: 10

Comments: I love this book…but not as much as I love Mo Dao Zu Shi. I think the plot is somewhat typical, however the characters are great once again (though maybe slightly less deep than MDZS), and her use of thematic repetition and foreshadowing are killer. Actually, I liked this book more the second time around because it just hits differently. Definitely the best of MXTX’s couples, they are so soft and sweet. Very long, but worth it.

Would I read it again: I already have, was personally translating the manhua before I hurt my arms, and am eagerly awaiting the donghua this fall!

The Villain’s White Lotus Halo

Author: A Big Roll of Toilet Paper

Quality: 10

Enjoyment: 10

Comments: Fuck, I love this one so much…..even though it’s also a system novel. But that part is in it so rarely that it reads more like pure fantasy. I love the characters, I love the plot, I love the way the relationship is developing. Oh yeah, the translation isn’t even complete but I already purchased not only the original from JJWXC but also the print edition. I’ve even drawn fanart for it, which is so unlike me. Every time a chapter comes out, I’m ruined for the rest of the day, I can’t think about anything else. Good fight scenes, which is uncommon. My favorite danmei novel so far.

Would I read it again: I fully intend to once the translation is complete, and also plan to read it in Chinese later (I’ve already read certain parts in Chinese hahaha but not the whole thing)

2Ha (Husky and his White Cat Shizun)

Author: Meatbun Doesn’t Eat Meat

Quality: 8

Enjoyment: 10

Comments: 2Ha is not for the faint of heart, it’s very horny, and violent, and has a lot of questionable content. However I love it so much. The story and characters are great, Meatbun really has me by the heart. The writing is a little more on the casual side but it hardly matters because the story is so great. Good fight scenes. Chu Wanning is like, the ultimate Me™ character, I hate how much I adore him. If you read this, just go into it knowing that it’s a long emotional journey, the characters are very dynamic and there’s a lot of character development.

Would I read it again: Same as the above, I plan a reread when the translation is done and have read parts in Chinese and might read the whole thing again later. Cautiously eager about the up-coming live action and donghua.

Di Wang Gong Lue

Author: Yu Xiao Lanshan

Quality: 2

Enjoyment: 9

Comments: This is one of the most terribly written things I’ve ever read, but I’m a character girl and the characters and ways they interact fucking kill me. I’m constantly entertained….although I don’t think this is actually supposed to be a comedy. If I were going to treat myself and like, take a bubble bath and read something that made me laugh, this is exactly the sort of trashy romance I would want to read. Technically a political intrigue story but it’s so abrupt and full of holes, are any of us reading it for the actual plot? The donghua is on Youtube, I watched it first and recommend others to do the same. If you can handle that, you can handle the book because it’s exactly the same in quality, just gayer. I do love the main couple a lot, the set-up surrounding the relationship is great, and the side characters are also really fun.

Would I read it again: Probably not, but I’m still having fun with it. I watched the donghua and read a bit of the manhua as well, which has very cute art and is probably my favorite version of the story.

Liu Yao

Author: Priest

Quality: 6

Enjoyment: 7.5

Comments: I really struggled getting into this one, it took me about 25 chapters to get invested. Initially I had rated it a 6 in enjoyment but after careful thought, I realized that even though it was so hard for me, it probably is my favorite Priest novel and I really do love the main couple so much. Her side characters also seem to be slightly stronger than usual in this one. Decent plot, not too much or too little. It seems really chill to me, doesn’t provoke much of an emotional reaction but I do think it’s very sweet, which is nice sometimes too.

Would I read it again: No, but I think (?) it’s supposed to get some kind of tv adaptation (drama or donghua, not sure), and if that happens, I’ll watch it.

Didn’t Know the General was Female

Author: Rong Qing

Quality: 4

Enjoyment: 6

Comments: Not the greatest thing I’ve ever read, but cute. It’s short, and a little lesbian fluff is never a bad thing. Writing is a bit weak and the plot is basic, but the characters are enjoyable and I liked it overall.

Would I read it again: No.

Wrong Way to a Demon Sect Leader

Author: Yi Zhi Dayan

Quality: 4

Enjoyment: 7

Comments: Again, not the greatest in writing or plot, it’s a bit shallow. But I found the idea of it to be entertaining, and actually liked it more than I would have assumed. It’s fairly short and cute, like a good summer beach read.

Would I read it again: Probably not, but possibly, if the stars align.

Female General and Eldest Princess

Author: Please Don’t Laugh

Quality: 7

Enjoyment: 6

Comments: A very good first effort, but the writing is a bit weak. It’s slow to start and I don’t think the political plotline is spectacularly strong. Some things were left unexplained, and her sense of battle tactics and fight-writing were very confusing, definitely room for improvement. I don’t think it’s as good as people say, but she writes with the air of someone who will continue to improve. And also, a lesbian author writing lesbian stories so that’s a plus. Overall I enjoyed the experience, this story is definitely worth a read.

Would I read it again: Maybe, but probably not.

Sha Po Lang

Author: Priest

Quality: 7

Enjoyment: 7

Comments: Originally I rated this one higher, but on later thought I realized that I actually enjoyed Liu Yao more. I personally have issues with the way Priest writes, and this book showed a lot of them. Characters were okay, I did like the main couple, but side characters were weak as usual. The plot is pretty good, though not great, and I think some of the pacing is off. Some descriptions were confusing, but that could be a translation issue. Overall, still a pretty good political drama, but I would say that of the three I read, this was the Priest novel with the least impact on me.

Would I read it again: No. But I will watch the live action if it ever gets made.

Guardian

Author: Priest

Quality: 6

Enjoyment: 5

Comments: I love Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan, thought the plot was interesting, and there were some enjoyable moments. But it has all the problems I usually have with Priest in addition to some choices that offend me as a queer reader. I spent about 75% of the time reading while pissed off. And actually the fact that it had a happy ending kinda bummed me out because I love a good tragedy. Overall, I can only give it an average score. If you like Priest, you’ll like this one too. I’m not a tv person but I binged the hell out of the live action, I really loved it, so I was sort of disappointed that the source material didn’t seem as strong as I had assumed.

Would I read it again: No, but I will happily watch the live action again some day.

#lano reads baihe #Jing Wei Qing Shang #Clear and Muddy Loss of Love #book reviews #Please Don't Laugh #lano reads danmei #As stated before I will not be tagging any of my previously read books #Only the most recently read

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royallyprincesslilly · 4 years

Text

Title: Arranged {4}

Yahya Abdul Mateen II x OFC Nyorie Kane

Warning: Mild Cursing. Plot

Words: 2.7k

Summary: Yahya is thirty-three, and his friends and family all seem to believe that it is long overdue for him to have a wife. He’s been set up more times than he can count and with his busy schedule and rising Hollywood star, it is becoming even more difficult to meet people, well people who aren’t looking for a come up. In the beginning, he said he didn’t want anything serious; his motto was “I’m was here for a good time not a long time.” Then it became he didn’t want anything that would distract him from where he wanted to go and what he wanted to accomplish. Now that his fame is rising and he’s approaching a sweet spot in his career he decides what the hell the time might be right.

In comes “A Match”, an exclusive matchmaking company run by his best friend Ramel’s wife Tamika. He gives Tamika and Ramel free rein and all his trust to find him, someone, he’d mesh well with. Instead of going through her clientele Tamika has just the right woman in mind, her best friend, Nyorie. Things are done a little unorthodox at “A Match” though. This unconventional route is credited for a near-perfect success rate.

Note: I’ve only tagged those who have expressed to be on a forever tag list.

***None of the images are my own***

**Loosely Proofread/Edited**

**Interactive**

Need To Catch Up?| Chapter one | Chapter Two | Chapter Three

✧*.。:。✧*.:。✧*✧*.。:。✧*.:。✧*✧*.。:。✧*.:。✧*

-Chapter Four-

Three days later he was staring at a stack of papers that was the contract agreement. Included in the agreement was also the usual fee for services. Tameka was making bank especially if this was the standard fee for every client. Among the papers was an extensive explanation of what she did, what she didn’t do, how she did what she did and what was expected. There was a code of conduct as well as termination policies. Inside the welcome packet there he found all the information about the different stages and the steps in each stage. This was very detailed and when he assessed it all, it wasn’t a completely illogical way to approach dating.

Yes, it was absolutely nuts to agree to marry someone without seeing them, but the saying love is blind was coined for a reason. No, it probably was never meant to be taken so literal, but the truth was the same. Love was blind, love should be found and established with the purest cornerstones. His only hang-up was if this was something that was logical for him and who he was now. He wasn’t some local baker, or a teacher or even a city planner anymore. He was an actor. Now most places he went, he was recognized, approached and watched.

Yeah he could go incognito eighty percent of the time and he was glad for it but he’d come to accept the luxuries of life before were not his luxuries now. He’d traded privacy for paparazzi, and traded clipboards for scripts. He still hadn’t gotten over the differences in his life from a year ago to today.

The more he flipped through the papers and read them over carefully he thought more and more about what the road would look like moving forward with this. He thought about the kind of connection he would want with a woman and the likelihood of finding it like this. He went up and down and around it for what felt like hours. He talked himself into it ten times and out of it ten times. He’d even written a pros and cons list and had thrown it out and done it again too many times. By the time he’d come up with a decision he was fed up with thinking about it. He knew it was the fear of the unknown at this point. The only thing that was in his head at this point was doing the damn thing. So that’s what he told himself as he tapped out a text to Tameka.

MSG: Let’s do it Meeka. Let’s do the damn thing!

He shook his head and tried to shake off how ridiculous he felt. He knew he was ready for it, but he just had to get out of his head with it and allow whatever was meant for him to freely come.

MSG Tameka: All right then. Fill out the paperwork, bring it back, fax it, courier whatever you choose. Once that’s processed we’ll start your screenings. Be mindful we’re going to be digging deep into your personality. Truthful answers are the only answers acceptable, especially if you want success.

MSG: Got it. Thank you Meeka.

MSG Tameka: You’re like my brother Ya. Anything I can do to help, I’ll do it.

He’d known Tameka for over ten years. They were similar. In the beginning stages of Ramel’s relationship, he took it upon himself to get to know her to be sure she was right for his best friend. It didn’t take him long to be convinced she would be a good fit for Ramel. Since then they’d gotten closer and she really had turned into someone he considered a sister.

He sat there in his living room filling out the first page of information.

“Name; Yahya Abdul Mateen II. Nicknames; Ya, Hya. Date of Birth; July 15, 1986. Gender; grade A man baby. Family; mother and one brother, four sisters. Ethnicity and Race; Black and Proud. Height; six-three. Religion; Muslim. Gender you are seeking; female. Marital Status; Single. Income.”

It was there he first paused as he tried to think of a response. Was he supposed to put his current net worth, what he had in the bank, what he was averaging per movie? He was probably thinking about too deeply, but he didn’t know what to put, so he put something basic and carried on.

“Comfortable.” As he got to the second page it got a little more personal. There was a question asking about his family history then another inquiring about his blood type. After that, it went into physical illnesses or mental illnesses. When he saw the big leap from there to asking about communicable diseases he blinked because it wasn’t even page six and already things were getting real.

He spent the next forty minutes or so answering the second, third and fourth pages that asked everything from STDs to medications currently taking. It was pretty detailed which he understood. These were important questions to know before matching someone. He zoomed through the questions about the reason for his decision for matching, and what his expectations were. He’d set the bar pretty low. He wasn’t sure what to expect so he decided to expect nothing spectacular. You can’t be disappointed if you never really set your hopes up, right?

By page six the real hard-hitting questions began. “What are you looking for in an ideal match?” He thought it would be a difficult question, thought he would have no idea what to write but that wasn’t the case. He found himself writing away.

“A woman who is down to earth, funny, honest and smart. A woman who knows what she wants from life and isn’t afraid to go out and get it. a woman who is caring, understanding, passionate, supportive, ambitious. Someone who is silly and has a silly sense of humor and doesn’t take themselves seriously. Confidence is major for me, someone who loves music as much as I do, has a great attitude, positive, classy but definitely kinda hood.”

He reread it and nodded his approval and continued.

“What’s your type?” A wide smile spread across his face because he knew his type. He’d imagined her several times over the months. “Curvy and thick in all the right places, meat on the bones, beautiful lips, expressive eyes, nice smile, shorter than me, fashionable, black and proud in everything that means.”

Thinking about his ideal woman and had him thinking what if Tameka actually pulled it off and found someone that was just right. What if in a few weeks his ass found a wife and not just another ex. That tripped him up and had him stepping away from the paperwork for a few minutes to collect himself and his thoughts with a glass of Henny. It wasn’t that he wasn’t ready, or he was reluctant for change, it was the reality of a possibility.

When he returned to the papers he earnestly answered the remainder of the questions that ranged from a full six pages about him and his dreams, wants, desires and another six pages about his ideal mate and what he would want her dreams, wants and desires to be. When he was finally finished it was almost three in the morning and he was exhausted. He’d felt like he’d done a mental marathon. There were questions in this packet he hadn’t thought about in years and at all. he took that as a good sign. The more in-depth the questions the better the outcome, right?

~~~~~~~~~

A day later he was sitting in an office with a couple Tameka introduced as Dr. Rachel Abramson and Dr. Martin Abramson. They were in charge of mental and emotional screening and preparedness. His first impression was that he would sit in a comfy chair and discuss his thoughts and feelings about beginning the process. For the first hour that is exactly what happened. They had him begin and assured him now was the time to get all his questions out. So, since they wanted him to ask questions he did.

“Are the two of you really that good to have so many success stories? There has to be one story of complete failure.”

The two of them looked at each other and then back to him before they busted out laughing. After a few moments, they finished and Martin spoke first.

“Tameka said you’d be a little apprehensive about the process.”

“She sure wasn’t lying,” Rachel added.

“Ha-ha-ha, very funny. You can’t blame me, can you? This is pretty peculiar.”

“Okay here’s the thing. On a scale of normal and insane, this is insane when you think of it from a societal norm perspective. We’ve all been taught and conditioned that we have to do things one way in order to find the love and happiness we want and deserve. So we go our entire lives on this hamster wheel trying it over and over and over no matter how many times we fail. No matter how many times we don’t find that love or happiness we want but heartache or loneliness. At what point do you change your perspective? At what point do you start to wonder what are societal norms doing for me? Here we’re changing up the norms. There is no reason why a different approach cannot work,” Rachel finished.

“We’re doing a different approach for the same goal. The only difference is our approach actually works and it continues to work. We’re that good at what we do because of the process and the screenings, these chats. We now know you want to be a believer, but you have to be shown the way. That will go into your profile and into the decision for those we cross with you for a match,” Martin explained.

Taking a few moments for their words to register he nodded then shrugged. “All right. I’m here. Let’s do it.”

That was when they began to dig deeper pulling him to talk about his entire life story, relieve every decision he’d ever made, every experience. He thought about things he hadn’t thought about in years. They had a way of bringing deeper meaning to his experiences, his struggles. They gave him worst-case scenarios and stressful situations, questioned his decisions in relationships and life. They dissected everything and the whole time they wrote note after note and exchanged look after look. After another two hours, he realized just how deep this process got. He felt like he’d just gone through the most extensive counseling session he’d ever had.

“How do you feel?” Tameka studied him with a slight “yikes” face.

“Damn that was intense.”

“Yeah, Rachel and Martin really get in there and tear you apart and put you under a microscope then put you back together. Usually, everyone who sees them says they feel refreshed leaving.”

“Refreshed? Meeka I feel like I just got a soul cavity search.” She laughed and shook her head.

“Boy, you so stupid. Seriously, it’s all right. It’s like this for everyone,” she assured.

“Are all screenings like this?”

“I wouldn’t say that. This one usually puts everyone through a wringer, you’re facing a lot of things, it makes you doubt yourself; it’s supposed to. It’s part of the process. The worst is behind you. You have three more screenings and then we’ll move on to the fun stuff.”

“What exactly is the fun stuff?”

Tameka smiled widely and zipped her lips. He didn’t have a good feeling about whatever it was she was talking about.

Sure enough, four days later he’d felt like he’d actually gone through the wringer. He’d completed the following screenings that focused on his potential mate love languages and expectations, and sexual expectations and intelligence. It was definitely an intricate process. From what he could tell those he’d dealt with really knew what they were doing.

After a quick trip to New York for work and a trip with his brother and sister to Vegas for some downtime, gambling and silliness he felt refreshed.

Today he dribbled the ball around the court with Ramel and crew he tried to keep his mind off of things. Tameka said they would go through his responses and screenings and put together a complete assessment that they would then use to go through their database of potential women he would mesh well with. He knew the processes couldn’t be rushed but he was getting a little anxious after three days and no notification on the status.

He was a little off his game and Rashawn was taking advantage of that. He stole the ball and dropped a perfect fadeaway bucket. He stood there shaking his head.

“What the hell has got your mind so outta the game you let Rashawn of all people steal your ball?”

They laughed at him together and he had to admit he deserved it. He walked to the sideline and dropped onto one of the bleachers. His boys sat around him taking sips of their water.

“Is this about this matchmaking?”

Rashawn and Tyrell both sounded off. “Hold up, matchmaking? Are you getting set up?”

Dropping his head back he rubbed the back of his neck. He didn’t want them all to know in case it didn’t work out and he was in fact unmatchable.

“Yeah, I was trying something different, thought why not.”

“Okay. We didn’t even know you wanted someone. Why you ain’t say something?”

He shrugged and rolled his head around. “No reason.”

“So that’s why your jump shot is shit and your ball handling is even worse,” Tyrell chided. He laughed at the insult to injury, he was already feeling like crap.

“Man kick me while I’m down. Great.”

“Leave him alone. Tameka’s process is tough. In the early days when she was giving me the run down, she blew my mind with how detailed everything is,” Ramel defended.

“Right. Damn, I had no idea. After four days I felt like she’d unlocked a whole nother level to my personality I didn’t even know I had.” They all laughed but he wasn’t joking. He was woke before but now he was third eye woke.

“So you’re waiting for results now?”

“I’m waiting for them to finish analyzing my assessments. I think they’re screening me with potentials. I don’t even know.”

“You ready to meet someone? I mean you could have yourself a girl in a month’s time,” Rashawn voiced.

“He could have himself more than a girl in three months’ time,” Ramel corrected.

“Yeah, I’m ready. The interesting thing is throughout the whole process of them analyzing me and asking me every question ever invented it had me really seeing how empty my life has been and how stuck I was. It opened my eyes to show me what I had to offer and that I was ready to offer it.”

They all nodded fulling understanding what he meant. He was glad he wasn’t friends with men who ran from commitments and dogged out their women. He was glad he was surrounded by levelheaded mature men who sometimes acted like complete idiots behind their wives’ backs.

“Well, I hope Tameka can work some miracle because it will have to be one hell of a woman who keeps your attention cause God knows you got that ADD,” Tyrell piped up.

Again, they all laughed together, at his expense.

A few more days passed with him working even more. He went on more and more auditions and his name was being kicked around quite a lot. According to his agent and manager, his name was brought up a lot for different projects. The ones that had him super excited was the fourth installment to The Matrix and a Candyman remake. He grew up on Candyman and damn near tripped down the steps when he’d read the email about it.

The days passed quickly, and he traveled between NY, Miami and LA all for auditions, meetings, interviews, and photoshoots. he was busy but in the back of his mind, he wondered where he was in the process with A Match. The longer he went without hearing something, the more he worried that he was unmatchable.

As he was pulling into LAX from his recent trip to London Tameka’s message caught him off guard.

MSG Tameka: Great news. When can you come in?

His nerves went into high gear as one thing repeated in his head.

“So it begins.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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