#i’m not much of a writer so hopefully that whole thing made at least some sense

[hetacon]

Linktober 2024 Day 31: Free for All

Nothing like a few bandages and a whole lot of kisses to help Ravio’s Mr. Hero recover after a scuffle with some monsters!

It’s arrived, the final day (dun dun). We’ve officially made it y’all, the end of Linktober for this year and I thought what better way to celebrate it than bringing things full circle with some more Ravioli art!! I’m honestly really surprised at how much I’ve been able to get done this month, and that I’ve finished on time for all of these pieces (for my time zone at least), because I wasn’t even sure if I was going to do all of the prompts. Some of them were a bit difficult to think of ideas for but I’m proud of everything that I’ve made! Naturally some pieces turned out better than others and I did have to simplify or downscale some of my initial ideas for certain prompts, but the fact that I actually managed to make 31 unique pieces is so impressive to me and I’m amazed with myself for persevering!

Also speaking of recovering, I’m going to be taking at least a few days break from drawing because my hand has started hurting a bit, but hopefully I can keep working on some more stuff soon, there are a lot of things I want to make! In the meantime, I might actually try to work on some of the fic ideas that I have (because yes, I’m also a fanfic writer :D) and see if I can get any of those posted

It was a bit intimidating to join a new fandom on here, especially one as popular as the Zelda series, so I just wanted to thank all of you that have been liking, reblogging, and commenting on the art I’ve been putting out as well as those of you who’ve started following me, and just overall being so kind and supportive. It means the world to me and I hope you’ll stick around for more LOZ and LU stuff! :))

(Also sidenote about the actual drawing itself, I love how Legend's just a big fluffball when his hair gets messy, it's so cute!)

[angieblogging]

i love you & it’s ruining my life.

masterlists & more | read on ao3

description; jennifer has been acting off lately and when you get the chance to confront her, you learn that she sees you as more than a friend.

warnings; curse words, some jealousy and yelling.

a/n; emily is briefly mentioned, this piece hopefully cured my writers block 🙏

word count; 719

— THIS IS NOT PROOFREAD!

It was like her eyes were burning a hole in your back. You could feel her gaze on you, Jennifer has been avoiding you for days, she was clearly upset and on edge, so you just let her be, but she wasn’t making it easy. Her continuous stares and snarky comments have been getting on your nerves, that combined with all the confusion you felt towards her at the moment resulted in anger.

Jennifer has been an amazing friend ever since you joined the team and when you felt her drift away slowly you did your best to figure out what happened, however she didn’t want to talk about it and everyone advised that you figure it out on your own, which was going nowhere. She just continued to distance herself more and more, day by day, until you were so sick of it you forced an answer out of her.

When Emily filled the two of you on what she and Reid learned, it was your only moment when the two of you were alone.

“What’s your problem, hm?” You turned to her, she stood slightly behind you, was silent the whole time you and Emily talked, not like she spoke much before that.

“I don’t have a problem, now can we get back go our job?”

You scoff at her words. “You stop talking to me, we stop hanging out and any of my efforts to save our friendship are met with… nothing… At least you could talk to the team. I don’t understand why you’re cutting away from me, but being a bitch to Emily is useless.” You sighed, unsure what to do if you’re shut down once again. How many times can you confront her, before it’s too much?

“If you have an issue with me, I’d like to know what is it.” You stood straight in front of her, looking her dead in the eyes. Her face was stoic, calm, but her eyes, her gaze showed it all. She was clearly upset.

“I don’t have an issue! Fuck…” Jennifer mumbles the last word under her breath as she runs her hand through her blonde hair.

“You want to act like friends? Alright… Friends are honest. So, what’s going on between you and Emily, huh? You got close all of a sudden, are you two like a thing now?”

Her voice is bitter. JJ could feel the rage building up inside her stomach and chest, she felt so angry and so fucking jealous.

“I- Is this what this is about? Me having other friends? For fucks sake!” You shut your eyes for a moment, it all felt like a bad dream, but it wasn’t.

“Friends? I ser the way you look at her and the way she looks at you, I’m not stupid or blind!”

You went silent, she was jealous, clearly. The Jennifer you knew was never like this, she was kindhearted and sweet and caring, not jealous and enraged like the version of her you were seeing right now, in front of you. Her words struck you, she wasn’t jealous about you and Emily being friends, she was jealous, because she thought there was more between you and Emily. She just stared back at you, her eyes mad, as she slowly realised how crystal clear she made it what exactly bothered her, she didn’t want Emily falling for you or you liking her back.

“Jennifer…” Your voice was now more steady and calm, you carefully looked her up and down, trying to figure out how upset she still was. You approached her slowly, she rose hands slowly as you tried to hug her, but she broke quickly, her mask shattered with one simple hug and she wrapped her arms around you as well.

Her heart was going crazy against your chest, you could feel it pounding and you could feel her breath against your neck, it was still uneasy.

As the two of you pulled away and your eyes met hers, her beautiful ocean blue eyes, you just thought one thing to yourself; “fuck it”.

So you grabbed her face gently and locked your lips with hers, you could feel her strawberry lips balm and her hand on your hip.

It was unethical, but that didn’t matter now, not to you or her.

[trashogram]

i’m gonna hop on the stolas hate train with you for a second. Do you know what i feel like he doesn’t get enough lashings for? His inability to see things from Blitzo’s point of view.

I’m sorry but despite being horrendously bad he is simultaneously one of most self absorbed characters ever. If he really loved Blitz to an up to par standard he’d be able to understand the HUGE power imbalance between them regardless of their feelings or time spent together. (might be a spoiler but i feel like you’ve seen it by now) but Blitz out burst to Stolas was super justified , i wouldn’t have done it personally, but i see where he’s coming from.

That moment itself was a rare vulnerable!blitz moment that stolas could’ve used to mend their relationship but instead he made it about Him AGAIN I CANT DO THIS😭😭😭 THEY SUCKKKK GOOD LORDD

I’m here to conduct this hate train, you’re more than welcome to come aboard.

Stolas has the characteristics of a Covert Narcissist (obviously he’s fictional, I can’t diagnose a fictional character or real person, but let’s tally it up shall we?):

Lack of Empathy — You hit that one

Sense of Entitlement — he thinks he’s entitled to Blitzø’s time and body, as well as Octavia’s unending patience and understanding when he fucks up and fucks around on her and their family)

Taking advantage of others for personal gain — the whole deal with the fuckdamn Grimoire

Hyper-focusing on fantasies of grandeur — Stolas is King Delusion thinking his obsession with Blitzø is at all equivalent to love, or even liking someone. He also deludes himself into thinking he knows his own child but he ignores her wants when she literally runs away from him on two separate occasions bc he’s not fucking listening to her.

Exhibit passive-aggressive behavior, arrogance, or subtle superiority — Ppl don’t clock this as much as they should but I’ve noticed and gagged at his belittling “pet names” for Blitzø (impish little plaything, itty bitty imp) and how when Moxxie and Millie try to speak to him, Stolas either treats them with disdain/like peasants or doesn’t even look at them when they speak! Not even bringing up how he uses his own imp staff as stress-relieving toys.

Highly sensitive to criticism — Can’t take being called out, has to cry and run away from the truth that Blitzø (and Stella and Octavia) are spitting

Victim Mentality — it’s everyone else in this damn bird’s life that’s to blame instead of himself. “I think so highly of you, I didn’t realize you thought so low of me.”

Fuck. You. Stolas.

I’m sorry this is a wild rant but to be fair it is the Stolas Hate Train (SHT, we should implement an I in there). Obviously I don’t hate his fans. Like what you like. Please. However, I may have some concerns over how young HB fans can get and how they don’t truly see how terribly this character is written because they accept the framing of Stolas as the poor victim in this situation at face value and don’t see it for what it really is, but I’m not their parents. And hopefully the younger audience will grow up and also think “ew”. At the very least.

I would like to know if the HB writers, and her majesty Vivienne Medrano, realize that they’re framing the Abuser in this situation as the victim but have dug this hole so deep that they just have to keep digging bc there’s no going back or if they genuinely think their targeted audience of adults don’t see through this or haven’t had to deal with abusive relationships themselves.

[boqvistsbabe]

Update!!!!!!!!

Hey Y’all!!

Here is the start of hopefully monthly updates. I know in my last update I said I was going to be more consistently here and active. Obviously, that didn’t happen lol. Trying to hold myself to that rn. So this is probably going to be the format for all of my update posts, just so they are easier to follow.

Refresh:

So I am almost completely done with the blog refresh. I think all that is left is updating links and getting some other posts (ex: theme days) made/redone. Most of that got put on the back burner due to how long they were going to take lol. But hopefully, over Spring Break, I’ll be able to get those done (no promises, another thing I’m trying to do, is be more realistic about what I want to get done by when so). 

Writing/Other Content:

Ik I said I’d write more. Once again didn’t really happen. Well, I have written a decent bit, but never finished anything. There is one fic that I am going to try and work on after this week (midterms lol) and have someone look over it (the first time I’ve had a beta reader, look at me go lol). Like the blog as a whole, I am trying to organize my writing, like requests and my ideas and what is going out when etc. (@ any of the other writers if you have any suggestions of what to/where to organize my stuff so it doesn’t get all confusing and mixed up you should def let me know). Speaking of requests, I am going to try and do at least two requests a month. That doesn’t sound like a lot but for me, that feels like something I can realistically do. I will be doing old requests first because even though they are years old at this point, I liked the ideas so I genuinely want to write them. I am still going to be accepting new requests (esp because sometimes that helps spark creativity/help with writer’s block so feel free to send in any ideas!!) but I will try to get those older ones done first. As for any other content (playlists, moodboards, IG edits, drawings, etc.) I am also taking requests for those so feel free to send in any of those requests too. 

Another Blog?!

As of rn the second hockey blog has not been “released”. I want to catch up on things for this blog before I throw that into the mix and try to grow that as well. I am hoping to add that sometime this summer. Also, I do technically have a sideblog already (@samistheman) which is normally where I reblog random things, and I don’t really have tags for that blog I just kinda willy-nilly reblog there (it used to be mostly PJO stuff but now that’s kind of here because of how much of it there is lol).

Life Update:

College is a lot rn. I’m doing 17 credit hours and tbh do not know what possessed me to do that. At first, I was doing pretty good, but now not so much. Like I said earlier I have midterms this week. If y’all didn’t know this, I’m shit at taking tests so not doing great rn. Thankfully one of my classes ends on Sunday so at least I don’t have to worry about that. I’ve had a lot going on in my personal life recently that is impacting a lot so trying to navigate that as well. I am moving out in May, which is yes months from now but there is still a lot that I need to do beforehand. Anyway, I’m going to a college hockey game on Thursday and I am super excited. I haven’t been able to go to a game since October. Also little fun update, I’m going on a weekend (work) trip to Boston. Super excited for that. I’ll be getting to go to a Celtics game and a Red Sox game (I’m a Royals girlie tho). I’ve never been to an NBA game so that’s for sure gonna be really cool. I’ve been to many MLB games before but this will be my first at a different stadium. Anyway, I think that is it for this update. Hope y’all are doing well!!

As usual, if y’all ever want to talk dms/inbox are open <3

I am going to tag some moots, I am totally forgetting some people so I am sorry for that (if y'all could reblog that would be amazing)

@2manytabsopen @krugstrash @jimmystrudel @andreburakozy @sidneycrosbyhoe @fallinallincurls @timstuetzle @typical-simplelove @ilyasorokinn @drei-mrssvechii

[kentopedia]

hi rylie,

talking about safe space.. lately, since i switched blogs, i've been having some mixed feelings. While I feel more at ease and comfortable, i can't shake off this sense of being an outsider? like i'm standing on the sidelines while all the other writers interact, already familiar with each other. it's giving “new kid” energy, hahaha but i've been trying to make friends, so it doesn’t just feel like i’m logging in, dropping a fic, and bouncing.

any advice? i’d really appreciate your input if you have any thoughts.

HI JESS !! sobbing bc i had a whole long response typed out and then it got deleted by tumblr, my number one opp. this is really long but hopefully it's helpful in some way!!!

i'm so sorry to hear that you're feeling like that :( i know that ur feelings are coming from moving blogs, but i think that's been the general consensus on here (at least from my close moots/friends). that many people feel like an outsider. it's been weird on here lately, and while this is kind of a cliche thing to say, more people feel similar to that then you'd think <3

but i can def give you my advice on how i made friends !!! i'm honestly pretty shy so it took me a while, but everyone's different when it comes to interactions. how i started out was just by talking to and following people who had reblogged my fics. sending a "hey thank u so much for reading" or even just a little question to break the ice really helps. i tend to be more talkative to people who send me asks first, but i know that's not the same for everyone bc some do have friends they already stick with and don't really branch out :// some of my friends i've randomly dm'd and started a conversation with if i feel like there's one to be had and they're open to that.

i will say my easiest friendships came from giving people my discord, if you have one. personally i'm more comfortable with 1 on 1 conversations, so i just offer it up to any of my mutuals (which, i will def give u mine if you want it hehe). and if they want to chat with me more, then they can !! but servers are another good way if you do better in group chats. i know some people don't like dm's and would rather just talk in a server. personally i've had some bad experiences and i also know i will never talk in them, so i tend not to join them. but i know many people that really like them and/or networks bc they are more outgoing than me LOL. and also, they can share their fics and it makes it easier to circulate them and get support! but yeah, don't feel like you HAVE to join them to make friends, i think that's a misconception on here.

don't be too hard on yourself though, i was the same way for a while as well. sometimes i still feel like all i do is drop fics and the random personal life story and dip LMAO. being perfectly transparent, it took me probably 6 months to find a mutual i still interact with today, and a year to find one i would consider my friend! i think a lot of people really pretend on here, but of all the mutuals i talk to on a somewhat regular basis, every single one of them has told me within the past few weeks that they feel like they don't fit in here. which, i do not say that to be discouraging but instead to be like i PROMISE it's not you at ALL. and honestly, within the bsd fandom, there's only a few people i really interact with. everyone's superrrr nice (for the most part), but it's tough to make close friends in that fandom ><

okay but also i saw u were doing kinktober and i think this is a great time to get interactions !! i gained so many followers and started talking to so many people during this time last year, so i feel like you will have good luck with it :))

[dyradoodles]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Spread the self-love ❤

ONLY FIVE oh no LMAO To be honest I really love rereading my own stuff (it’s tailored to all my hyper-specific interests, after all! 🤣), so just picking 5 is hard, but I’ll try.

Redux Hero (FF7, Zack & Sephiroth, M) for sure! It’s a rewrite of the first fic I ever published online, and this time I finished it lmao FF7 has been such a big part of my life, so getting to be super indulgent with my headcanons in a big adventure story with my all-time favorite characters was such a joy to write. Plus I ended up with absolutely wonderful people hyping me up while I was working on it! And it helped me with processing some of my own personal shit. I could write a whole other book about how happy writing this one made me lol

Poster Boy (FF7, Zack/Seph or Zack & Seph, G) - This was my first Seph & Zack fic where I really felt like they matched my headcanon versions of them, to the point that if I’m having a bit of trouble with new fics, I like to reread this one to kinda get back into the right mindset. Like a voice actor having a key phrase to get into character, I guess lol Plus it’s just short and cute, so it’s a nice, quick, pick me up if I’m having a rough time writing.

What Lies Beyond the Lily of the Valley (FF7, Zack & Seph, T) - this one is close to my heart, since it acts as somewhat of an homage to the old FF7 fics I used to read as a kid Namely, “Lily Valley” by LuckyLadybug. That fic (and a lot of her other fics tbh!) really inspired a huge, huge love of Sephiroth and Zack just going on missions together. No big catastrophic, world-ending threat; just the job. Being friends. Uncovering horrible secrets and organizations that aren't Shinra. Or, as is the case with my fic, the two of them uncovering a whole undiscovered realm that, by the end of, they want absolutely nothing to do with LOL I had so much fun with the fae shenanigans. 

FFS, I Believe in You (Breath of the Wild, Sidlink, T) - MY FIRST FINISHED FANFIC LOL and also just the goofiest thing from start to finish (minus the Angst, there is definitely also Angst). I feel like this one really helped me learn how to make notes and actually construct a whole multichapter. It also forced me to learn how to write in iambic pentameter, which. Is that useful? Idk. Is it funny to me personally? Extremely so, yes. I didn’t really participate much in fandom before this fic, so it also ended up being an amazing opportunity to meet some incredible people, and coaxed me out of my lurker shell a bit lol (Also I don’t think I’ll ever beat this one in kudos, with any other story, which is just gonna make me laugh forever because SHAKESPEAREAN LIZALFOS??? THAT’S the most popular one I’ve written?? Understandable, I wouldn’t have it any other way LMAO)

Out of My Head (Venom (Marvel Comics), SymbiOT3, M) - I really let loose with this one and ended up using a lot of writing techniques that I still use in my writing today. Most especially, not feeling guilty about shorter chapters lol It’s at the top of my list for revisiting if I can ever get my brain to fixate on Venom again, because dammit I had two other arcs planned aaaaaaaaAAAAA— hopefully someday. RH did get a rewrite after uh, 9 years, after all;;;;;;;

This was fun, thank you Holly!! 

(also meant to add: my favorite thing about All the fics I've written to date is all the awesome friends I've made through them 💖 it's so cool to me how writing silly stories about my blorbos has helped me meet some of my favorite people ever)

[mitziholder]

apologies for being weird and hogging your inbox like this but i LOVE your thoughts on fandom and i think very few people talk about it in a critical way without completely condemning the entire occupation. in my experience people (not just on this website but in general) tend to take a very black and white view of fandom/fic, probably because it can feel like a very personal thing for many; either they're 'normies' who think all fanworks are 'cringe' or they're the anything goes kind of person. radfems seem to me to be the only ppl who aren't overly defensive of the enterprise but can still enjoy fanworks critically. its nice to see women who aren't like. Fandom Moms talking about these things at length. i think you're one of the few people i've agreed with regarding this subject so far :/ your analyses are very much appreciated and i'd love to read more of what you think (especially regarding the point about navigating trauma). have a good day!

oh and also regarding the whole 'i want women to read better thing' ive always felt this idea that fandom culture is above criticism (or criticising it is inherently misogynistic) is in some ways an extension or at least related to the societal notion that women should be confined to the fluffy feeling aspects of writing and art and aren't as capable of intellectually engaging with things (and of course some 'criticisms' of fan culture ARE misogynistic but i'm not referring to those atm). and obviously there isn't anything inherently WRONG with silly fluff novels or romance (especially romance of course as one can certainly explore that subject in depth and i actually think there's a lack of well written romance out there) but it still feels like a limitation on female growth to normalise women ONLY reading fanfiction or even only certain brands of genre fiction i guess? and i find it sad that so many women seem to almost buy into that idea nowadays or shoot down any sort of criticism with the 'stop shaming female desire' catchphrase. and considering that there is still a dearth of well made original female work for women in pop culture (that act as cultural touchstones in the same way a lot of male works do) it's even more depressing that a lot of fanwork centers men. sorry if this comes off as insufferably pretentious lmao! i'm not even against fanwork i mean this is tumblr i still enjoy things but hopefully you know what i mean lol

like i mean. there's a reason why fanfiction is seen as primarily a female affair (even though a lot of the highly regarded published fanfics are by men. u know the neil gaiman stuff or whatever). its sort of a reassurance that women are 'limited' to writing fanworks. idk. i guess i want women to do better idk if im making any sense

ok, mandatory disclaimer that what I’m describing here is a series of trends, trends I’ve observed within fandom at large including both fanfiction readers/writers and fujos more broadly. obviously, not everyone who reads fanfic or yaoi is a woman (though the vast majority are). obviously, not every woman who reads fanfic or yaoi is a stunted teenager who refuses to engage with any other media. I will also admit that not every fanfic is jimin ABO. I don’t think that fanfic is inherently cringe or low-quality, and there are certainly a lot of respectable published works that have been created with other people’s characters or settings. but, as I’ve said, the vast majority of fanworks in the modern day are essentially pornographic mad libs. I find that disappointing. and there’s no reason it has to be this way… except for all the reasons I’ve outlined in my other posts.

things that are lazy and thoughtless and easy, that provide instant gratification, are generally more popular than things that are difficult or uncomfortable. clearly. but people who denounce all fanfic/fanfic writers and pigeonhole it as low-effort slop are not actually interested in helping the women who write it achieve their fullest potential, because they do not believe those women have any potential. it’s true that some criticisms of fan culture and fanworks are purely misogynistic… but I care about women’s voices, and I do want women to be able to express themselves. I’m not on a quest to stop women from writing or reading fanfic. I’ve been slightly flip about the subject, but truthfully, not everything that is “derivative” is bad, and there’s no reason that fanworks couldn’t be good. it’s just that the culture around them is so intensely sensitive - anti-“shaming” - that women are terrified of saying anything about the level of quality or the potentially harmful nature of most fanfiction because they don’t want to devalue media created by and for other women.

I think that’s a disservice to women as a whole. not everything we write is valuable. I’ve written plenty of crap in the pursuit of getting better - plenty of crap I currently disagree with. and if our work can’t withstand criticism - if we shut down immediately at any hint of a deeper, more unflattering analysis of what’s really going on… then what’s the point? what are we communicating? that female fantasies exist in a compartmentalized bubble far and away from our politics and intellectual pursuits? that we should be able to j/o to rape fantasies without question because it’s not that serious? that the personal is political, except for when it isn’t… and we should all be quiet and let women write whatever they want free of criticism lest we shame them so hard they go into hiding? my standards might be a tad high, but that is setting the bar… dangerously low. it’s also patronizing. since when has “just let women enjoy things!!” ever gotten us anywhere? since when has that been a cornerstone of feminist thought? is that really the best we can do? are we really so fragile?

I’ve seen a glut of posts about how useless and harmful constructive criticism supposedly is. the reasoning is always basically the same:

criticism is mean/toxic/discouraging

maybe I’m too hardened by countless death wishes I got on my old blog, but, in my experience, whenever I have something I want to say or a point I want to make, very little can keep me from doing so. I can’t imagine being so bothered by what random Internet people think. it’s important to remember that being able to determine what criticism is valuable is a skill in itself. disavowing criticism as a whole because some of it is “toxic”/discouraging is throwing the baby out with the bathwater.

criticism is pointless; perfection is unattainable

of course nothing is ever going to be perfect. but if that’s your attitude, why bother editing? (rhetorical question. some fanfic authors do post unedited works… just because they can.) hell, why write? why get up in the morning? why make your bed? why try anything new at all? it’s a completely absurd, defeatist attitude. like the first point, it also reeks of intellectual laziness and self-satisfaction.

you could just be nice and say what you liked instead because that’s helpful too

please don’t blow smoke up my ass. in editing, I want to fix things that don’t work and to trim the fat. is it “kind” or “helpful” to let me do something completely stupid because you’re too afraid of embarrassing or offending me to say as much? also, knowing what people like is useful in producing more of what people like - it doesn’t help me do anything new or different. there is nothing less helpful to me than saying “good job!” when I ask you to read my work. it’s certainly nice (as long as you actually read it), but it’s not helpful.

it’s published, the author is through with it, and they don’t want to touch it anymore

I plan to do everything I can to edit and improve my writing before the thing is drawn and published, but I’m sure some flaws will inevitably slip through the cracks. currently, I’m rewriting entire chapters from the beginning because they became incompatible with what I wanted out of the series as it progressed. considering that a lot of people write fanfic on a chapter-by-chapter basis with only a very vague trope-strung outline, I have to wonder why they’re so averse to major overhauls. sure, it’s not pleasant, but don’t you want your writing to be the best that it can be? what is the purpose of uploading it if you don’t want the thing to be responded to as it is, warts and all?

also, not all criticism is limited to the specific work it’s derived from; many things can be extrapolated to future works as well. how are we supposed to correct trends that could lead to a decrease in the quality of future works if we can’t even point them out?

fanfiction is a hobby, and hobbies should be fun

I’m not under the impression that I’ll ever be able to make a living from my writing. I do it as a “hobby” in my spare time simply for the fact that I need an outlet for my thoughts - I need to organize them in some way. writing is an art form that we use to communicate meaning and to make sense of the world around us. your goal as a writer may be to have fun, but it isn’t mine. overgeneralizing and building an entire subculture around the pursuit of mindless fun limits what fanfiction and amateur writing have the potential to be.

you could just go read something else that you like more

actually, no. I don’t like any of it. I’m sorry if saying that is offensive to the 38-year-old she/they whose blog post I grabbed this from. most fanfic is bad. I yearn for the exploration of topics that are categorically not explored in fanfic - because the scope of what fanfic is interested in is constantly narrowing, feeding on itself, like an ouroboros. this problem is only going to get worse over time. why wouldn’t I be bothered? why can’t I say it’s a shame?

mass media and tiktok are worse!

maybe, but so what? at least the majority of people who spend their time watching tiktok videos and bad TV don’t act like it’s a suitable replacement for real literature. and at least there aren’t tiktok compilations being listed on goodreads(?)

anyway, more to the point, fandom is full of technically competent writers. but if they continue to insulate themselves within fandom or fandom-adjacent offshoots, they will never be great writers, because great writing requires tight editing (the elimination of things that are pointless and redundant), syntactic fluency, organizational skills, and, most importantly, an individual voice - an artistic vision - interpreting individual ideas… things that are born of criticism and a diversity of influences that are not present or valued within fandom in its current state. great writing cannot be made in a vacuum. great writers don’t allow themselves to be broken or stifled by criticism they disagree with.

sure, no one has a responsibility to be a great writer, and mediocre writing isn’t a moral failure… but I’m certainly not going to be happy about it, especially when the prevailing attitude is “fanfic is art… but I make what I want for myself and sharing it with you is a privilege and therefore you can’t criticize it!” how boring! how utterly conceited! my god. throwing a temper tantrum because you’re not 100% in control of how others perceive or respond to your creation. put it in a diary and not on a public forum if that bothers you so much… (but then, of course, you couldn’t count kudos.)

I do have a plan to touch on some of my other gripes since you asked so nicely. but this response is, once again, getting too long, and those things have little to do with what I was complaining about here. I’ve got an outline for a post I’ll develop and publish later as a final note on this convo, since at that point I really will have said all that I have to say… thanks again for writing in :-)

[lovebugism]

Now that you watched all of the bear what are your thoughts on the current season? I feel like I wanted so much more but I’m also happy with how the finale went. I think I just care more about the other characters and I’m over carmy sabotaging himself and the whole Claire thing

thank u for asking anon i'm about to be so annoying about this bc i have Plenty of thoughts (just a warning, there is an entire essay below the cut)

season 3 wasn't nearly as bad as i expected it to be, which is coming from someone who's super duper partial to season 1. like i definitely miss the old kitchen and how the focus was mainly on that and the og characters, but i thought this season was decent! it just felt like there was a ton going on and nothing was really resolved imo. that's why i think the tina and sugar episodes were the best ones, bc at least there was some pay off, you know? (which. don't even get me started on those. i get chills just thinking about them.)

i think the finale was fine for what it was. like i said, i would've loved some kind of resolution. i really wish we could've got an actual answer about whether syd was leaving or not, or at the very least, an inkling of interaction between richie and carmy. but i loved seeing luca and jess and everyone all together!! i can't wait to see them more next season and hopefully watch them interact with more of the side characters!

speaking of. i need the writers to give all the screentime they gave to the faks this season to ebra, tina, sweeps, manny, etcetcetc. i love matty and i don't actually mind the faks too much, but i thought everyone was just being dramatic about how much screentime they were given b4 i watched the season. (spoiler alert: they were not). the faks are cool and everything, but i want to see more of the og characters!! i'm praying we get an ebra episode next season. i want to see him and mikey being bffs so bad!!!

lastly. the claire and carmy thing. claire is a cool character, i don't mind her too much, but i wish she could just be a cool side character and not an entire plot point. the fact they made an entire season about a single interaction (which, imo, wasn't that serious to being with) made the season almost unwatchable for me. almost. i just don't know why the writers would write claire and carmy the way they have been and expect anyone to care about them, said with peace and love <3

also. i forgot to mention the parallels between syd and carmy!!!! they were just *chefs kiss* the way he cooked her favorite meal before they ever met???? they were always meant to find each other, i'm SICK. and those scenes by the water??? and the panic attack scene??? heartwrenchingly beautiful. all of it.

tldr; season 3 was fine, it just felt like it was kinda cut in half. i would like to see less flashbacks of claire, less mentions of what carmy said in the freezer, and less faks next season. please and thank u.

[ceebit]

okay let me do my new year post now bc i will most definitely be dragged out to party and then promptly pass out 😭

2022 has been a rough year for me, emotionally and physically. i went through a lot this year, academically, personally, mentally—by far one of the worst years i’ve ever pocketed. without getting into details, i hit my lowest point. and not to sound like that, but through kpop i found hope again. like a temporary crutch of sorts.

i joined kpopblr four months ago on september 19th! this blog hit its 4 month mark on the 19th this month, and while i didn’t openly celebrate that milestone on here, i took the time to sit back and really look on how my life has changed since then.

i’ve made so many good memories. and with those memories, i’ve met so many good people here. people that deserve more than the world for being friendly faces (despite not seeing y’all lmao) during my up and coming days. so i gotta shout y’all out because i wouldn’t be as comfortable in this space without u all.

@wonwooridul @seungkwan-s : the first official friends i made here. none of this would have been possible without u two !!! i love u both so so much please. 🤍🤍🤍

@hansolz : for giving me an invite to the caratblr server ): we don’t talk as much but never got to express how grateful i was (and still am) for opening that door for me. i really can’t thank u enough <3

@ the caratblr server : ik im the worst at being active in there but i’m so so happy to be there. being exposed to so many talented creators from writers to giffers and all those in between—it’s been so much fun getting to know u all (from the times i remember discord exists, at least 😭)

@minghao-s : rose my kpop lighthouse………. u are literally the reason behind everything here. i think fondly on that two hour boy group introduction a lot. thank u for taking the time to guide me through all of that. and for taking ur time with me ??? my memory is NOT the best and i do be forgetting things, but thank u for pulling and knocking sense into me ^_^ and ultimately being 1/2 mutuals who like to actively plot my k-demise…..

@wuahae : cat beloved </3 i had to mention the reason why there’s a significant sunwoo shaped crater in my skull. u are at fault for my recent lack of sleep and lack of appropriate decorum during the waking hours. (affectionate) jokes aside thank u for tbz infodumping at odd hours of the night and indulging in my relentless questions <333 hope u get ur vampire media one day 🫶🏽

and to rest my beloveds : @txtkids @caratonce/@silvmoonsky @haylo4ever/@dokyeomblr @haylo4ever @huiranghaes @naptimed @otlwoozi @theloserphenomenon @aceofvernons @woosanhui @98linerz @strawberri-uyu (and if you’re not here i’m so sorry 😭) thank you for filling my dash and literally making tumblr worthwhile each time i long on. my experience woukdnt be the same without y’all. love u all to the moon and back <3

to my readers : you are the reason i create!! the reason i find inspiration to continue to write. thank you for the endless tags and asks and reblogs and comments and everything. if i could hug all 800+ of u, i would. squeezing u all with so so so much love thru this screen. <333

and to my anons : thank you for some of the funniest moments i’ve ever seen in my life. you all r the reason the ask function was made. even if you haven’t come off anon, just know that i cherish each and every single ask you’ve sent to me—responded or not. (terribly sorry if i haven’t, tho… sometimes my brain tricks me into thinking i already have 🥲) hopefully some of you gain the courage to reveal yourselves so we can be friends :)

okay let me wrap this up before i start crying. tmrw starts a whole new year of kpop for me and all of you. here’s to more writings, creations, laughter, and good memories to come.

with love, from (hopefully) your favorite joshua-changbin-sunwoo juyeon-and-now-hongjoong enthusiast,

cece <3

[thevindicativevordan]

Comics this week ?

Action Comics #1059 - I knew it! I knew it was the Empire of Shadows! God I’m actually excited for Batman to show up in Action, I can’t believe it. Then again this is a very different kind of Batman, and it’s an evil Batman who is being used in service to (hopefully) make Superman look good. What a refreshing concept as opposed to the all too often reverse. Otho being the one Stone targets makes sense, like “Norah” points out, she’s a killer and the youngest daughter of the family. They have some things in common. God I love all the crazy tech that Steel has built over the run. It’s been great to have him be so involved and I’m going to be really disappointed if he gets dropped again with the “Superstars��� next year. Shame Sandoval can’t finish this arc but I do enjoy Barrows. Nice little bit of Metropolis history with the street name, PKJ didn’t get to do as much of that as I was hoping for, but anything that plays up Metropolis as a “city of immigrants” suits me. Looks like Constantine and Etrigan will be showing up to help Superman delve into the Dark Multiverse to find Otho. Probably will learn the backstory of this Batman next issue, maybe even learn what happened to that Earth’s Superman too. Can’t wait! The Kenan story came to a satisfying conclusion as well, Yang did a good job within the limited pages he had. Justified why Kenan joined the Superfamily and why he isn’t interacting much with the JLC anymore. Last line paired with that panel shot was a gut punch. Yang set Kenan up for some great drama if anyone bothers to follow up on it which they probably won’t. Maybe I’ll get lucky and Yang will be the fourth writer for the Superstars next year after Aaron, Williamson, and Waid.

Steelworks #6 - Thought it was a solid freshman showing from Dorn. Ending was a bit rushed but there were some nice character moments across this whole mini, even if it’s definitely not an essential read for the line. Walker made for an entertaining bad guy by being so unrepentantly evil, it's nice to have a few of those guys around amidst all the sympathetic bad guys these days. When are we going to actually see JHI and Lana tie the knot? Maybe in Action? Would like to see that actually occur, it's been good for both characters imo.

Detective Comics #1078 - I have not read the Knightfall trilogy so I’ve never been a huge Azrael guy, but damn I actually am becoming a fan. Seeing gleefully charge a werewolf head on does a lot to endear him to me.

The Flash #3 - Love what Deodato is doing with the panels, really helps to sell the disorientation that Wally and Max are going through. Cool revamp of the Folded Man, my Flash knowledge has a bunch of holes in it so I don’t know what his deal has historically been. Good use of him here that makes me want to learn more. Bit nervous about the implication that Speed Force users are screwing up reality every time they use their powers, it reminds me too much of that Venditti plot point from New 52 GL about the Emotional Spectrum “running out”. Obviously they’re not going to stop making Flash stories so either they have to “fix” that if it’s actually the issue, or it’s a misdirect.

City Boy #6 - Good ending. Pak’s got a nuanced character in Kim, he’s so human and fallible that he could easily have ended up a villain as a hero. Seeing him rise above that at the end is inspiring in the way superhero fiction aims to be but usually falls short of. I don’t know if he’ll avoid falling into Limbo, he’s not a natural fit for any team, but I’d like to see both City Boy and Pak get more play at DC.

The Penguin #4 - After this week’s issue of Tec I wasn’t sure how King’s heist story would stack up against V’s - good thing that was a feint! Penguin’s taking a lot of risks here, that whole stunt could easily have ended with him being dead, but at least King showed that Cobblepot was actually nervous and unsure of how things would play out. This could easily be a Penguingod book but it avoids that pitfall.

[mousieta]

2022 Drama Rankings: Dropped Shows

Bulgasal

Year: 2022 Country: Korea Platform: Netflix Episodes watched: 2/16 I so wanted to like this one, I was quite excited for the cast as I enjoy Lee Jin Wook, Kwon Na Ra and Lee Joon quite a bit in other shows. The premise, also, felt very Guardian-esq in a good way. I enjoy a good immortal series and Korean fantasy with a dark gritty edge? Yes, sign me up.

Unfortunately I could never get past the first two episodes. It fell victim to the trap that immediately kills my desire to continue watching a show: I started rewriting the whole thing *as* I was watching it (at least with Love in the Air the rewriting didn’t start for me until I’d seen the whole thing). But once my writer brain kicks in to redo it all, the show is done for me, its no longer fun, it is work and frustration.

I just didn’t care for the writerly choices as they felt poor and led to the overall tone of those first two episodes being very flat, emotionally. I just didn’t care about any character enough to make the flaws worth it.

Business Proposal

Year: 2022 Country: Korea Platform: Netflix Episodes Watched: 2/12 This was sharp and slick, and very cute. I made it, again, through about two episodes before I realized I just didn’t care enough to keep going. The cute felt a little too much, as though the show were depending on that and its bag of tropes rather than believable characterizations and moving plots.

The writing of what I saw seemed fine, the acting was fine, the directing was a little to into itself but it was fine. Fine, fine, fine, and in a lineup of much more compelling shows, I just didn’t feel like spending my time with fine.

F4 Boys over Flowers

Year: 2022 Country: Korea Platform: Netflix Episodes Watched: 3/16 I think I may just be Boys Over Flowersed out, y’all. Again, like Business Proposal, it was cute and fine. I made it through three episodes and just kept forgetting to watch more. I guess I don’t love BrightWin enough to watch heterosexual shenanigans.

The casting seemed spot on and I love that Thailand now has their own version which seemed to do well. I have the Korean version which was my first and the Chinese version which is my favorite and I think that’s enough F4 for me.

The Wind Blows from Longxi

Year: 2022 Country: China Platform: Viki Episodes Watched: 9/24 Of all the shows on this list - and maybe any other on my Dropped list this one and the next make me the saddest. I got quite far as well, nearly halfway. On paper, this has everything I need. The writing is good and intense with layers of conflict and constant guessing at the twists and turns of the plot. It is slick and well-directed and the acting is phenomenal. It also has a delicious staple: a tense and fraught m/m love/betrayal dynamic. This should have been catnip but for some reason I was  always either too mentally tired to engage, or would get distracted watching other things. Dropping this was definitely an ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ thing. Hopefully, someday I’ll have the capacity for it because I think it would be an excellent and captivating binge watch.

Heroes

Year: 2022 Country: China Platform: YouTube Episodes Watched: 19/38 This is another one that dropping made me sad. It was delightful and has Baron Chen!! An OT3 Romance! Delightful DMBJ connections!! All I can say is what did it in for me was likely the platform. I don’t have the fancy YouTube so watching commercials made it impossible for my ADHD brain to keep focused on an episode, I kept getting lost in the plot (which isn’t why I was bothering to watch but would have been nice to follow) Now that it is on Viki I might give it another go when I’m in the right mood.

Strangers from Hell

Year: 2019 Country: Korea Platform: Netflix Episodes Watched: 5/10 This was so, so good. Amazing. Gripping. Twisted. Lee Dong Wook was terrifying and compelling, Im Si Wan was as good as he ever is. Everything about this was good. I am just a great big old scaredy-pants who cannot tolerate anything suspensful or scary (I never have been able to).

I did my best: I only watched on brightly lit weekends in the middle of the day, and only one episode at a time. With those restrictions I managed to make it to episode 5 before I just couldn’t take it anymore. Highly recommend if psychological horror is your jam, you will be very pleased with it, I think. I just…can’t watch anymore. Dong Wook I still love you though! I just love sleeping through the night more.

2022 Drama Reviews Masterlist

[spacerangersam]

Hey! I saw not long ago that you said you don’t mind talking about your creative writing degree.

After my gap year(s) I think I might be interested in maybe doing creative writing at uni (possibly alongside english lit) but I’m not completely sure yet.

I was wondering if you’d be alright sharing your experience with your degree? Like, did you enjoy it, find it interesting, useful or otherwise worthwhile etc.? And, would you recommend doing a creative writing degree?

If you end up responding to this (do feel free to ignore this btw) thank you so much! Also, I’ve really enjoyed what I’ve read of yours (admittedly I ought to check out more of your work).

I absolutely wouldn’t mind! And thank you!

Also, sorry in advance how long this is but I wanted to be fairly thorough. 

So, I definitely found it helpful. There’s just a clear difference in quality between my writing before taking the course and after, it is just significantly better, it’s clearer, it’s more concise and it’s just- it’s just better, it truly is, and I'm so much happier with it.

I have a much better understanding of the writing process now, of writing characters and arcs, of sentence length and when it vary it, and of how everything should be formatted (Times New Romance, size 12, double-spaced). My prose has significantly improved (though it’s still something I need to work on tbh), and I have a far better grasp on writing in close 3rd person- all things that I might not have learned, or might have taken significantly longer to learn if I haven’t taken the course. 

It also gave me a lot more confidence with my writing as, from my experience at least, a lot of the course involved group feedback sessions, and getting to see people like, laugh aloud at jokes I’d written and getting to hear their feedback and what they liked and what they thought of the characters just made me feel much more sure of myself as a writer. 

And even when there’s criticism, it’s (usually) very helpful and only serves to make your work better.

I enjoyed being encouraged to dabble in different genres too, in different writing styles, for different age ranges etc. I took a writing for young people module and legitimately, it turned out to be one of my favourite modules ever (helped by the fact that our tutor was just amazing, I loved him, he was fantastic), and I absolutely want to finish the story I started writing for that course and hopefully get it published someday. Even for modules where I wasn’t as taken with the writing style, like the short story module, was still fun and good writing practice.

It can also just be nice to be around other writers, getting to read and enjoy their work and just bond with people who love what you love. 

I have absolutely no regrets taking the course, I absolutely believe it improved my writing and I would thoroughly recommend it for aspiring writers. 

However, there were definitely some downsides. For one, it felt like (for modules focused on novel-length stories) there was a very strong focus on the beginning, but not much guidance on how to handle the middle and end of stories. We did definitely go over it, but it didn’t feel like it was in great depth and to this day, I still flounder when it comes to handling those parts of my stories. That might be different depending on what school/modules you take, but that was definitely something I felt was a bit lacking. 

It also didn’t feel like we really went into detail about how you even get your books published. That whole process is still a bit hazy in my mind (granted, it has been like 3 years since I graduated).

There’s also just the problem that how good and helpful your course can depend a lot on your teachers/classmates. I took three different scriptwriting modules over my 3 years, and two were taught by horrendous teachers. With the first, I think he did such a bad job that when it came to our assessment, I had to independently look at how to format a script because he didn’t even cover that. And if you’re stuck in feedback groups with people who aren’t very good at giving feedback, it can also suck.

(This isn’t relevant, I just want a chance to complain but once I was put in a group with a lady who was just like, very conservative and a very bad writer to boot, and would just not listen to any criticism whatsoever. It was a nightmare, you absolutely don’t wanna be that guy who can’t take a negative comment, no one will like you. Also, don’t be a Tory. That too. She once came up to my friend group outside of class and started talking to this one guy who was trans and I just got up and did not come back until she left asdfg. It was for the best.)

You could also, and this is a big maybe, come out of the whole experience kind of hating writing. For instance, the poetry classes that I chose/had to take legitimately made me hate poetry. It’s hard to explain why exactly, I think just looking into the technicalities of it just ruined my enjoyment of it. To this day, three years later, I still struggle to enjoy writing poetry, which is a shame because poetry is where this all started, where I realised that hey, maybe i’m not bad at this whole writing thing.  

 That’s not something I experienced with any other modules though, it was just poetry. 

Also, reading lists can be a bit of a pain if you don’t like the books assigned (and a bit expensive, especially if your uni discourages you from buying cheap on Amazon/eBay as mine did. I understand where they were coming from but like, asking students to drop like £10 + on multiple books is a bit much), and writing essays/reflections can be a bit of a drag (I’m not a fan of it, especially since we weren’t allowed to critique the books we were assigned to read? For some reason? We were only allowed to write about the positives, which annoyed me, I like complaining) but I mean, if you’re considering a joint course with English lit that’s something you’re used to.

I also still don’t fucking understand how to use a semi-colon. I mean, I do but I don’t, you get me?

I realise this seems a bit uneven, but it’s just because it is bit hard to fully explain just how helpful it was, considering it was a) about three years ago now, and b) a lot of what I learned was nitpicky stuff that is absolutely crucial for good writing, but is just kind of a bore to go over.

As I said, I don’t regret it one bit, it's probably the smartest and best decision I ever made, but sometimes it did just suck. But if you do it, you do get to brag about having a degree, so that's another plus.

I hope this was helpful!

[acomposerofdreams-blog]

There is, hopefully, only one conspiracy I ever bought into enough that could have been worrying. I distinctly remember the what, when, and how. The what: That the fluoride in our water supply allows for government mind control at worst, and makes us more docile at best. The when, 14 if I’m being kind to myself. Back when I believed I was significantly smarter and cleverer than I actually am. A CNN article I read on a high school computer because I thought that made me smarter than my fellow students who played games or tried to look up porn. Not much of a reason to feel superior, but I needed that feeling. Back when I was far more afraid about confronting what I actually am. Just average, maybe less so.

The article was fairly simple in its scope, the writer wanted to go into the subject with an open enough mind to listen to some of these conspiracy theorists. Quite respectable actually, I don’t think I have the patience for that. And one thing that the writer admitted… that he, and by extension I, had no idea what went into the process of preparing the water that comes out of our tap.What is the government doing to that water? What are companies doing to that water? And to the writer's credit he or she went into a fair bit of the details of that subject.

How water treatment plants remove pollution from industrial waste run off, how it removes our own excrement and piss before putting that water back into fresh water supplies or the ocean. It's quite an interesting process that is crucial to stopping diseases such as cholera. But again… I was 14 and in desperate need of an ego boost.  So through the little bit of reading I actually paid attention to, a shame or I might have remembered the person’s name or the article title, I discovered a tiny bit of fluoride is added to the water heading into our tap. How much? Well until 2015 it was 1.2 grams per fluid liter of water. According to myself, who is not great at math, there is at most 1.2 parts fluoride for every thousand parts water. Which then went down in 2015 to .7 parts per thousand parts of water.

To illustrate that as best as I can, the average beer bottle is at most 385ml or 13 fluid ounces. So… if you took that beer bottle, filled it with water (I know, to many of you a travesty), you’d have a total of .27 ml of fluoride or .0091 fluid ounces in that bottle. To help you visualize that, half a raindrop of fluoride is in that beer bottle. One half of one raindrop.

Again, I was 14, and too afraid of being seen as common, or average, or worse… less than average . So I ignored the facts. I didn’t care, I felt smart, I was slightly more powerful than my fellow students to know that fluoride was added to the water before it entered my kitchen sink. I didn’t know what it was either, or at least I didn’t think I did. Thankfully I never dug deep enough into that rabbit hole to become completely immune to sense. So when I asked my parents what Fluoride was… they answered me seriously. It was the stuff the dentist used to finish cleaning my teeth, teeth that had no cavities in it because I regularly brushed my teeth with toothpaste that also contained fluoride.

From there the whole thing started to fall apart. If Fluoride was being used to make me more docile, why after regularly dosing myself with far more effective quantities than what was in tap water for my whole life… was I ready to “fight the power” over it? If it was really controlling my mind it wasn’t doing a very good job of it. I did take it a step farther, I went a week without brushing my teeth and for an entire day chose not to drink liquids of any kind. Cause maybe if I got it all out of my system it’d make sense to me, that I’d see behind the curtain and realize that I was right to believe this. I don’t know if my parents noticed that, but what I did notice… was that nothing changed. I was still… me, still myself, not as clever or smart as I thought I was. My eyes were open though, I could see myself as… average, maybe even less at the time.

It wasn’t until four years later that I came across the darker side of conspiracy theories, the abandonment of logic, often by people whom you would think have the intelligence to discern the truth.

My grandfather was a physicist, one with enough knowledge and skill in studying the world that he was part of the team that developed radar technology for America during the Cold War. The systems that are used to guide the missiles that could end the world at any moment was part of his resume. The man had a Marine bodyguard with him whenever he was out of the country, whose sole duty was to kill my grandfather in case the Soviets or Chinese wanted to steal the secrets to America’s radar detection network at the time. He is probably still the second smartest person I have ever met, and that’s of course admitting that I’m more biased towards his daughter, my mother. And he believed with absolute surety that now Former President Barack Obama wasn’t an American citizen and maybe a Muslim plant to destroy the nation. And I was too afraid to ask him why.

I don’t need to go into how that former President Obama is in fact a natural born citizen. Or at least I hope I shouldn’t have to? His father was an American citizen, who married a Keyan woman, who then gave birth to now former President Obama in Hawaii. These are… facts. As factual as the knowledge that your body needs water to live. That’s how deep the discussion had to go and there are still people who think that Obama was a Musilm immigrant who stole the Presidency away from Christianity, dealing a blow against the Christ loving people of America.

And my Grandfather might have been one of them. A man who I have admired for his wisdom and raw intelligence. Whom in spite of his coarse attitude from having a childhood that saw the Depression, World War 2, and had to raise children through the Cold War. Is a kind, and empathetic person that only now do I have the sense to see. Yet when this topic of conversation came up, I couldn’t tell you what my grandfather feared about then presidential candidate Barack Obama.

I could tell you what I was afraid of as an 18 year old fresh out of high school, I had a strong belief that those in the News media need to be brave enough to ask powerful people questions that challenge their points and beliefs of their viewers and those they talk to. I believe that even more so now. So as I watched so many journalists and people get swept up in the charisma, intelligence, and hype of Obama. I was afraid of what might happen if he could keep the level of control over the news during his presidency. An ultimately pointless fear, that was basically blown away after the first hundred or so days in office.

But for my Grandfather. That… wasn’t it, during the whole eight years I think at times he believed that President Obama was a secret Muslim agent, or incompetent, or hated the “American way”, but I don’t know. I know he was frustrated by some of the more absurd “scandals” of the Obama Presidency. Such as the Tan Suit incident, one of several fistbump incidents, the political “travesty” that was the Date Night scandal, and the death of the presidency because of ordering Di-jon mustard for his burger. But… he seemed to believe that all of that was a calculated distraction, to keep people from thinking about how dangerous Obama really was. And I have no idea why?

I’ll never get to know the reason either. He passed away while battling brain cancer a while ago. Leaving that question unanswerable.

That kind of fear I’ve come across again and again. Either in person or through observation. One of the most chilling ones was watching on the news thousands of angry, afraid, men chanting in Charlottesville Virginia “Jews will not replace us.” As of Writing this… that was almost seven years ago. Yet I still feel like I need to state that about .16% of the world population is Jewish. There are actually a million more Mormons in the world than Jews and I don’t see anyone stating the Mormons are going to replace us all. Yet fear would ignore that, fear has ignored that and likely still will. I wish I could sit some with some of these people and talk about why they choose to fear others. What is it that they’re afraid of themselves? That maybe their own feelings of inadequacy have everything to do with themselves and not others? That the failings in their life are in fact their own failings, or failings of people like them?

Fear given an easy out will always become hatred, and to give credit to my Grandfather. His fear never became that. Hatred was not something that came naturally to him. But were his fears about Obama hiding something else? Because my fear of Fluoride in the water was hiding my own insecurities about myself. Because at the end of the day… I, and you, and my Grandfather, are just themselves. I’m just me. Not as smart, not as special, as I think I am. I’m just… average. And isn’t that terrifying?

(Because this one requires some sources. Here’s the link to the google doc I wrote it all on with the sources attached. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1DBiWEkxlCczxnIzXsfhu1txdklJJauMHW0inX17Zpdw/edit?usp=sharing

Enjoy!)

[perexcri]

Aaaa I can’t believe there’s only six more chapters!! I’m happy for you about the new job!!

Also 🥰🥰🥰 you continue to have first sentences on a Lock. “They pull closer, and spring washes away in thunderheads and afternoon showers to reveal a sweltering summer.”

Mike basically proposing how he does is So in Character of him tbh. I also like how he didn’t Push too hard about it. (Maybe if they do end up going to the east together, they could elope👀👀👀👀).

I’ve been trying to figure out what Will’s almost,,,wistful half-longing for leaving reminds me of, and I finally figure out. I could deffo be way off base, but it’s almost like the Elvish desire for the Undying Lands. (And tho Byler are most often compared to samfrodo, I think in this scenario they would be more like Legolas and Gimli, hopefully making sure his love dearest friend gets to go with him.) ofc, again I could be way off, but just what I was thinking.

“They grow and they learn. They speak and they smile and they laugh, and when one says something too out of line, the other lets him know with sharp glares and pointed comments. Will instinctively reaches for two sets of things now no matter what, and Mike always draws close to him, as if he’s not complete without the other by his side.” This whole paragraph !!! They!!!

Cuddles!!!!! Cuddling for safety from nightmares is !!!!!! They’re getting even closer !! I’m so dndjdic. I’m so normal about them, I swear.

I really do adore this story. It’s always a nice pick me up when the day hasn’t been the best, or turns an okay day great. I hope you know how much I appreciate u, as a writer and as a friend.

Anyway I hope you are doing well, and that the project and your upcoming job (!!!) are fun and wonderful.

i knowww!! it's almost over!! i will say all of these upcoming chapters run a little longer though, so there's at least that? i promise i'm doing my best to give them their happy ending :D

(and thanks for the well wishes on the job i am excited but so nervous but i am being so brave about it)

ajlsajlasdj i am once again making a surprised pikachu face and blushing at you pointing out something about my writing. i'm glad you liked that first sentence!! it's been so fun in this fic to describe the seasons passing and what-not. my more popular fics (like to hell and back again, cheer up baby, and what a match) all have really heavy time or place constraints, so this one has been nice to be able to let it flow more naturally and see where it takes me. it's become very near and dear to my heart, so i'm especially grateful for people like you for keeping up with it!!

yeah Mike basically proposing 👀 hrrrhmhmmmm 👀

Vee,,,i am about to reveal something about myself, and i hope you can forgive me: i honestly don't know a whole lot about lord of the rings (which is really weird considering i read the first book when i was in middle school, but i digress). i trust your judgment on this though, and i am doing some furious googling just so i can learn more about it!!

i'm glad you liked that paragraph about them growing together T_T that's been one of the parts that's been absolutely gnawing at me. like i've wanted to post it ever since i wrote it, so i'm very happy it gets to be out in the world now :D and yes, they are getting closer!! literally if i thought my brain could handle it i would proofread the next chapter and post it tonight, but i am so tired lol. it should be coming out tomorrow though!! i hope so at least, or else i might explode or something

i know i already gushed about this somewhere up there in this block of text^^^ but i truly am glad you enjoy this story so much!! i enjoy all the support i get on fics ofc, but people like you who have been regularly interacting with this one have made me feel extra special. this story means a lot to me, and i'm glad it can mean something to others now or that it can be a reason to make your day a little brighter, and in the end, that's all i can really ask for out of the stuff that i write, and it's something i've learned i really enjoy doing. i used to never share stuff i wrote with other people, but i'm slowly learning that you can never know how it might affect another person, and that sometimes it's better to share and see what happens than keep it close to your chest and never let somebody else partake in what you've made

aND YOU VEE!! i hope YOU know how much i appreciate you as a friend!! you are so sweet and kind, and i always look forward to what you have to say whenever i update anything because you're always so thoughtful and have such good insight. you're such a lovely person and a wonderful light in my life as well as others'. i hope this isn't being too Out There or whatever, but when i hit a point about a month ago where i really thought i was gonna have to put this fic aside because i was so stuck on it and just dealing with my own stuff, your messages about it really helped me keep going T_T it is not a stretch at all to say that i would not be nearing the end of this fic without you, so please know that you do so much even just by the presence you have on this webbed site and in this fandom!!

i would love to say this is the only time today i've typed up a super long reply to something when i maybe should've made it shorter, but nope!! i've been responding to ao3 comments that are just a few sentences with 2-3 paragraphs tonight. guess i'm just in a Mood huh

bUT if you are willing to put up with my drivel, i just want you to know you deserve all the best!! i am wishing you glowing flowers, as well as wonderful things for the new year and your endeavors, whether big or small!! :] 💜💜💜

[clarkgriffon]

OBX Season 3: John B & Big John

So, I have so many thoughts on OBX Season 3 that I’m just going to break down my thoughts into separate posts with different themes otherwise the post would be a mile long.

On the whole, I loved what they did this season with Big John & John B. As a premise, from the first 2 seasons here are some things about my OBX thoughts: John B is my least favorite character and I was skeptical about the revival of Big John as a character (I thought it cheapened some of the first 2 seasons).

However, I think the choice to bring back John as a pseudo-antagonist and foil for Ward was very smart. It really gave narrative payoff to John B’s introduction to his father in the first season- that his father wasn’t just a father, but a friend, and maybe not the greatest dad ever, but that John B was so devastated when he was gone.

This loss made John B so fearful of losing Big John again that he couldn’t oppose Big John’s wishes- he couldn’t tell Sarah or the Pogues the truth, he aided his father after Big John murdered two people unnecessarily, all with this dissociated look on his face. I think it was the most compelling arc I’ve seen for John B. You could see the struggle as he faced the truth of what his father was, knew his father wouldn’t save him from the bullet if it risked the gold, but still, despite it all could not bear the thought of losing his father again.

The biggest gripe I had with the over-arcing Big John narrative is how both his and Ward’s story ends as somewhat of a pseudo-redemption? That despite all their faults they end up sacrificing for their kids and do the right thing in the end. But would they? Based on what the show has built up about them, it feels like no. That said, if I interpret more in a lens of grey morality and that neither Big John nor Ward could be mistaken for good people, but ultimately did care for their children, it reads better. I guess my struggle is more with authorial intent than anything- like did the writers understand how bad Big John really sucked? But ultimately that matters little and the final product is what I care about, and I’m quite happy with the final product.

With the offing of Ward & Big John, I’m excited to see Sarah & John B’s family mainly come back to being the Pogues and hopefully more group Pogue scenes in the future rather than so much focus on Sarah and the Camerons and John B and his father.

[calumsash]

2022 Writing Evaluation

thank you for my amazing friend taylor @jbhmalumm for tagging me in this!!! i totally forgot i wrote (even if it's been like half a year yikes) and can actually be tagged in those things so im excited <333

1. number of stories posted on ao3: a whole 3 fics!

2. word count posted for this year: 17,741 words!!

3. fandoms i wrote for: 5sos

4. pairings: romantic: cashton (2) & mashlum (1) / platonic: malum (1) & cake (1)

5. story with the most kudos/bookmarks/comments: all three of these categories go to three that's the magic number <3

6. work i’m most proud of (and why): im proud of all of them! just the fact that i actually sat down this year and wrote something AND posted it?!!?!!!! i think that's something to be proud of!

7. work i’m least proud of (and why): i love all my kids!

8. share or describe a favorite review you received: ok so there's this comment @ghost-of-you left on my mashlum fic that just said "I don't think I've ever laughed this much at a fic before. This awesome." and i remember smiling and thinking about that comment all day so thank you anna <3

9. a time when writing was really, really hard: idk a lot of times i found myself really frustrated that i couldn't just sit down and write 5k in a sitting, or i was feeling i wasn't getting the tone right and then tried to compare myself to others? but once i let that go, stopped looking at other fics and just setting myself smaller goals i think made the difference!!

10. a scene or character you wrote that surprised you: the ending scene of malum in the daylight fic!!!! when i started to write that scene i totally planned for it to go in a different direction, a much more funny way (michael finding out calum is a vampire because he found him drinking blood smoothies lol), but as i was writing it the words just flew into a more angsty approach and i liked it so!!! it stayed <3

11. a favorite excerpt of your writing: i still think the delivery of “I need to know, who came first? The chicken or the egg?" and the response after it was incredible on my part <3

12. how did you grow as a writer this year? actually finishing a fic and posting it!

13. how do you hope to grow next year? honestly just hoping to set little goals and maybe write some more, maybe try other fandoms and see how i do!

14. who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc)? just gonna go ahead and tag my wonderful friends @myfalsedevotion @jbhmalumm @lukemichaelcalumashton @daydadahlias @merry-the-cookie @calumthoodshands because you guys hyped me up when i started writing and when i sent you screenshots as i progressed and gave me encouraging words!!!! i probably wouldn't have had the guts to post without you <3

15. anything from your real life show up in your writing this year? oh yeah i totally thought capybaras were called chupacabras SORRY AJSHDHSJ (from the halloween fic)

16. any new wisdom you can share with other writers? literally just write for yourself! i can't even count the amount of times i reread my own fics because it's exactly to my taste!!

17. any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year? there's a song fic i wrote for cashton that is mostly done that i do wish to finish at some point!!!! also coach calum fic would be amazing if i ever finish it so hopefully that!!!! plus not 5sos but i have this idea for a buddie (911) fic that haven't left my mind since i thought of it and im hoping maybe start and finish before they come back from the hiatus!!!

18. tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read: probably everyone have been tagged already so if you haven't already and wanna do it, count this as your sign <3