#i’m not changing it ever that’s my distinction from the movie; i can’t spell for shit

[cyncerity]

um, how did Tommy meet ranboo in the epic au? Also how is the leaf/growth kingdom going v the decay/mold kingdom? What’s going on with ranboo?

ok, i was gonna just answer this with a normal answer, but here’s a story instead cause I really like how they met and wanted to start up the lore!! So I hope you like it!

tw: fear of death ig

Tommy was tired. He was tired of his shitty dad, his broken kingdom, and his horrible status as their practically bastard prince. He hated it all. He needed an escape, if just for a day. Somewhere where people didn’t freeze when they saw him, refusing to even look at him for fear of potentially angering a member of their royal family. Somewhere away from all the noise and obligation and far, far away from the kingdom he’d grown to hate that he’ll someday be forced to lead.

In retrospect, the Bogs may not have been the best option.

He trudged through the thick mud, tripping up on roots almost every other step, feet plastered with clay and weighing him down with every step. He panted and wiped the sweat from his brows, adrenaline the only thing keeping him from feeling the cold air around him. Yeah, definitely not the best option.

At first he’d been glad to get out of the harsh sun that seemed to shine fucking constantly in his forest, but past the border of the Bogs, there was nothing. Seriously, literally fucking nothing. He’d seen this area from afar before, known that this land was filled with nothing but rot and darkness, but fucking lord he didn’t think it would be this bad. Maybe there was a reason this place was illegal to enter.

Other than it’s, y’know, horrifying murderous residents.

That was the only real reason Tommy had thought it would be a bad idea to come here. No sun? Fine. Lots of mud? Sure, he can handle that. Terrifying creatures of rot that have been at odds with his own species for practically as long as he’s been alive and who his kingdom had fought one of the most brutal wars either side have ever fought with? Eh, best 2 out of 3.

In reality, that…really didn’t seem to be a problem. He hadn’t seen a boggin the entire time he’s been here. Hell, he hadn’t seen any sign that this section of the first was even lived in. At first he was afraid that meant an ambush could be coming, but at this point he’d take a potential kidnapping if it meant he’d get off his feet for a minute.

He wasn’t entirely sure how long he dragged himself through the mud, it had to have been the majority of the day at that point, but he eventually found a big enough log that led out of the mud and near to a tree with a decent sized hole in it. He could have cried in relief.

He hauled himself onto it, having to relent to crawling since he could no longer stand. He made his was across and collapsed into the hollowed out trunk, limbs shaking from exhaustion. He was…so fucking tired. He was sure that the second he stopped shaking, his adrenaline would wear off and the chill of the forest would return, and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to pass out before or after then. God, would he have the strength to get back up if he passed out? How long has it been since he saw the sun, since he had any energy?

After only a few minutes, he’d been left practically paralyzed. He couldn’t lift his limbs and his eyelids were growing heavier by the second. He was helpless. He…he would die there, and no one would ever know what happened. Maybe the boggins would be kind enough to bury his body, though he doubted it. He’d just be another leafman lost in this dull, dead part of the forest, just like his m-

He was snapped out of his thoughts as he felt a gust of air on his face, growling steadily heavier until it was strong enough to push back the petals on his head. He heard strong, loud wing beats, and through his barely opened eyes he could see a giant bird (bigger than any bird he saw back at home, anyway) landing on the log he used to get to the tree. Was he about to be eaten? God, why couldn’t he have passed out before he was mauled by a bird?

Instead, though, he saw a blurry figure hastily leap off the bird and run up to him. He couldn’t make out many details, but they were…dull. They matched their surroundings almost perfectly, muted tones of brown in their clothes and purple in their skin. The only off bit was their jacket, which seemed to be made of two contrasting fur tones, black on one side and white on the other.

“Oh shit, oh my god,” He heard them mumble as they moved closer, kneeling to the ground next to Tommy, taking him in their arms. They were…big. That was the next bit Tommy realized. Not huge, but noticeably a lot bigger than him, or anyone he’d met. Maybe only by a head or two, but even their hands were the size of Tommy’s chest. And even being so close to him now, Tommy’s vision had blurred enough that he couldn’t make out much of the rest of them. The stranger felt around under his chin and around his wrist, pressing down as their breathing started to grown frantic. “Oh god, ok, ok…” they said, trying to calm themselves down before tapping Tommy’s face. “I need a sign you’re still alive, if you can hear me at all. Can you give me a sign?”

Tommy was never usually one to take orders, but this seemed kind of important. Fuck stranger danger, this person was his only hope and he didn’t want to die here. He hated his dad, he hated his kingdom, he hated his future, but he didn’t hate his life. He had things to do, he had to grow and learn and be better. He had to practice magic to keep the forest balanced and safe, he was supposed to learn hand-to-hand combat with Techno, he was supposed to hang out with Tubbo tomorrow and help him with his shop, he couldn’t die.

He tried his best to muster any movement at all, anything to show his good samaritan that he was alive and needed help, that he wasn’t just a corpse to be left behind, but nothing. Not a twitch, a wink, nothing. The stranger above him sat patiently waiting for a sign that Tommy couldn’t give them, and he wasn’t sure how patient this person was. He wasn’t sure when they would give up and leave him to die. This couldn’t be happening. He had the chance to live, but his stupid fucking body couldn’t move without energy, and the sun was well hidden by the fucking bog trees. “oh god, you can’t be dead…” he heard the stranger whisper, voice quivering like they were about to cry as the arms around him started to shake.

Oh, like fucking hell he was dead.

Somehow, miraculously, he tapped into something as he barely managed to twitch a finger against the ground of the rotting tree. He heard the stranger gasp as a small vine pushed out of the ground, one that would have been imperceptible in his home forest but seemed to almost glow in its current dim brown surroundings. “Was…was that you…?” the stranger asked quietly, almost disbelievingly as the grip around Tommy grew slightly tighter. The vine wrapped itself around their ankle. ‘I’m alive. Help me, I’m alive.’ Tommy thought desperately.

Maybe through dumb luck, or telepathy (probably not but hey Tommy lived in a world of magic, he couldn’t be sure ), or a rare act of kindness from the universe, the stranger hooked their arms under Tommy and carried him out of the tree.

“Enderchest!! Over here, girl!” He heard yelled as the wing beats grew louder again. The blurry figure of the bird from earlier came closer and Tommy felt himself be set on the bird’s back as the stranger sat behind him, hoisting his body against him with one arm and grabbing a rope around the bird’s head with the other, flicking it as the bird took off into the sky. The petals on Tommy’s head subconsciously moved to shield his head from the harsh wind as the bird flew up, seemingly knowing exactly where to go. Tommy wasn’t exactly sure what was going on, only seeing the world in a blur of greys blacks and browns until suddenly he saw a blinding light. He felt warm, he felt heat hit his skin and almost immediately started feeling better. The harsh wind slowed as the bird picked a branch to land on above the treetops, still in direct sunlight. Tommy felt himself get lifted and leaned up against the trunk of the tree they were on as the stranger went back to the bird for a second, leaving Tommy to finally have the strength to open his eyes again.

Looking around, he was very high up. There were very few other other branches in the bog trees that could see the light. He felt the tree behind him and tried to put his weight on it so he could stand, but stumbled when his hand didn’t meet the solid wood he was expecting. He turned to see that the entryway was made of strings of wood beads that his hazy vision had mistaken to be part of the rest of the tree, and the inside was hallowed out and seemed oddly cozy and lived in.

“You ok?” He heard, and he quickly whipped around to see the stranger taking something from a small pouch sewn into the saddle of their bird, which Tommy now recognized as a Raven. He was a bit more concerned with the stranger, though.

As they walked back up to him, Tommy finally took notice of the sharp points on their arms, legs, and shoulders. He finally noticed the pointed ears, pointed teeth, almost disproportionate limbs, muted skin and frankly absurd amount of furs and bone jewelry.

He’d been rescued by a boggin.

‘Of course they’re a boggin’, he realized, ‘i’m in boggin territory, if anything would find me it’d be a fuckin boggin.’ Why were they being nice? Was it to make a false sense of security? They’d seemed so genuine when they first found him, but why would they actually want to help him? They’re enemies, boggins murder leafmen for fun, they’re crazy and dangerous, that’s why the Bogs were off limits-

Tommy froze as they came closer and kneeled in front of him, holding out a small canteen and smiling gently, if not somewhat awkwardly. Tommy hesitantly reached out and took it, undoing the cap and smelling it. Water, even still somehow cold and fresh. He momentarily forgot that he was in the presence of the enemy as he greedily drank it down, almost crying from relief as he felt himself grow stronger again but refusing to waste any of his hydration on things as useless as tears. The stranger sat smiling until Tommy hesitantly handed it back. “…thank you.” He mumbled, and the stranger nodded as they walked it back to their bird. “I have more if you want another?” “I’m good, thanks.” Tommy said, trying to remember any lessons Techno had taught him on manners and what he called “basic civil decency.” No one could say Tommy wasn’t raised to be polite (not to say he was, but he was certainly raised to be).

They seemed to be at kind of a standstill, Tommy refusing to start any sort of conversation for fear of potentially insulting someone that could definitely kill him if they wanted, and the stranger just kind of mindlessly fiddling with the straps on their bird to make it seem like they were doing something. Great. God, Tommy hated silence. Apparently, the stranger did, too.

“I’m glad you’re not dead.” They said, still not looking back at Tommy. “…why?” He couldn’t help but ask, immediately regretting it as the stranger turned to stare at him with a look of shock and confusion. “what??” they asked, and Tommy shrunk back on himself. “It’s just…y’know..you know what I am, right? I- I’m not…” “A boggin?” They finished, coming closer again. “Yeah, obviously. You’re from the bright side.” “The bright side?” The boggin nodded. “That’s what we call your side of the forest. You’re a leafman, right? I’ve never met one of you before, or gone to the bright side. And I’m guessing you’d never been to our side, either.” Tommy sighed. “How could you tell?” “I found you on the ground caked in mud. There’s a reason we all either live in the trees or underground; the forest floor here is a deathtrap. You’re lucky you didn’t run into a bobcat or something. Actually, i’m not sure if they’d even be interested in you since you’re a plant and they’re carnivores, so…” they continued on prattling as Tommy made the connection. Ah, so that’s why the forest looked so uninhabited and no one saw him. Everyone just knew to stay off the ground.

“So how did you find me?” Tommy interrupted, and Ranboo laughed. “Dude, everything here is either brown, black, or dead. You stick out like a sore thumb, I could see the green in your leaves from a mile in the air.” Tommy chuckled at that. That must’ve been quite the sight to see; a bright colored random leafman trudging through a dead forest. He might as well have had a giant glowing sign that said ‘I don’t belong here come and kill me!’ The stranger’s face brightened as Tommy laughed, and they took a few more steps towards Tommy before stopping. Tommy looked up at them. They seemed…nervous. Scared? He wasn’t sure, but what the hell, they hadn’t tried to kill him yet. Tommy smiled back at them and scooted over on the branch, patting the spot next to him. The stranger grinned and sat next to him, both of them just sitting in comfortable silence for a minute.

“You know…I was kinda scared to go and help you, as awful as that sounds.” They sighed, and, wow, did that catch Tommy’s attention. “What? Why??” “Cause…I don’t know, I didn’t know if you were hurt or just stopping to rest, and I didn’t want to mess with you if you were ok, cause…” they shrugged, looking away. “But I saw you stop moving entirely and realized you were in trouble, even if I could get hurt I couldn’t leave you to die.” Tommy was only more confused. “‘Cause??’ Cause why?” “Cause you’re a leafman! I mean, you guys kill our kind for no reason. We’re practically mortal enemies!” Tommy paused. He looked the stranger dead in the eyes and saw them shrink back slightly.

Oh, they were being serious. They were actually, genuinely scared of him.

It was quiet for all of two more seconds before Tommy began laughing hysterically, the sudden noise making the stranger flinch back. “Oh..oh my god, man, you’ve gotta be shitting me, that’s…” Tommy laughed, wiping stray tears from his eyes. “You’ll never believe this, but I was thinking the same thing.” He said as he saw their eyes widen. “I came to up here and I thought you might try and push me off the tree cause you’re just homicidal or something, i don’t know.” “Me?? Do I look homicidal?” They asked, a smile tugging at their lips. Tommy grinned. “I don’t know! Do I?” “I mean, I guess not really. You’re not the horror story I was told, you’re too scrawny for that.” Tommy fake scoffed in offense. “Well, I’ll have you know that you aren’t quite the bloodthirsty monster I was told about either.” “This not-so bloodthirsty monster has a name, y’know.” They smirked.

”Noooo,” Tommy drawled out sarcastically. “I thought that names were just a leafmen thing.” He finished before smiling and sticking a hand out. “Tommy. Sorry I didn’t introduce myself earlier, as you’ve probably realized by now, manners aren’t really my thing. That, and I thought I was going to fucking die so it wasn’t really the first thing on my mind.” His hopefully-new-friend chuckled, grabbing it and shaking gently, given that Tommy’s whole hand could fit in their palm twice over. “Ranboo. I’m glad I got to meet you before you succumbed to your lack of sunlight or…whatever happened to you, you’re fun. I don’t..uh….I don’t have many friends.”

“Well, then, I guess that just means I don’t have competition in becoming your best friend.” Tommy said with a tone of finality, standing and reaching a hand down to the boggin, who took it, wide eyes staring up at Tommy. “You mean it?” they said, the hope eminent in their voice. “I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t, bossman. Plus, I, uh…don’t have many friends myself.” “Ah, I couldn’t possibly see why, you’re just so charming.” Ranboo responded sarcastically, and Tommy could barely pretend to be offended past the smile plastered on his face. Finally, someone who understood his sense on humor. “Bitch, I will have you know that I am an absolute pleasure t-“ Ranboo interrupted him by pulling him into a hug, one Tommy had no problem reciprocating. Eventually, they pulled away, eyes glassy with what Tommy hoped were tears of joy. He kinda wanted to make a joke about it, but he was ninety percent sure he looked the same, so he really wasn’t one to talk. “Thanks, that..that means a lot to me. But you probably wanna go home.” Ranboo finished as he called over his raven, who perched closer and leaned down so Ranboo could get on.

Tommy sighed. “Yeah, my dads probably already got a search party or six out looking for me, but I’ll be fine. Besides, I can’t leave without knowing where to see you again! You think you can meet me at the north bog border sundown tomorrow?” Ranboo smiled, sharp teeth on full display but no longer threatening. “Sounds perfect.” They said, holding a hand out to Tommy as they helped him climb on the bird. “So, tell me about the bright side? I only get glimpses of sun when I come up to my nook here.” Ranboo jerked his head to the beaded entrance of the tree. “I’ve always wanted to go over there, but I’m a little afraid of getting attacked. I wanna know everything.” “Oh, buckle in, my friend,” Tommy said, laughing and gripping the rope in front of him, “it’s a long way back home and I have a lot to complain about-“

~~~

“…So you have to make sure to be on your absolute best behavior. Stay right by my side, don’t-“ “‘Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.’ Right, got it, old man.” Tommy replied to his father in a mocking sarcastic voice. Phil glared at him before looking back up to Techno, who nodded without even looking back. They’d done this whole charade plenty of times; Tommy ignored his dad and Techno was left to make sure he didnt hurt himself. Honestly, Phil used him as more of a babysitter than the actual trained guard he was. Tommy actually felt a little bad for him.

They continued their way through the bogs on a higher path through the underground tunnels since apparently Phil knew the “don’t walk on the forest ground” rules. Lucky bitch. Unluckily for Tommy, they were there on some official royal business shit. Something about knowing how to handle “those freaks” (as his father had put it) once he became king.

“I mean it, Tommy. This is important. We want to keep our people safe from these creatures, but they need to see that fucking with us is a bad idea. If they think we’re weak, we’ll all be killed. All these monsters want is the death of our world, do you want that?” Tommy sighed. Jeez, could his father be any more dramatic? Every word out of his mouth was harder and harder to believe by the day now that he knew Ranboo. The two of them hung out constantly, usually at the treetop nook since it was concealed well, and Ranboo was nothing like what his dad had said. And Ranboo assured Tommy that he was nothing like he had been taught, either. Still, though, Tommy had to keep up his mask. “No, I don’t want that.” He mumbled, facing down. “But maybe calling them ‘creatures’ and ‘monsters’ in their own turf isn’t the greatest idea, either.”

“Ah, so that’s what you call us behind our backs, then, is it?” He heard a voice call out from the opened area of the tunnel in front of him. He saw his father stiffen and his face harden, the same expression he wore for every meeting and decision he made. Tommy was pushed back by Techno, who used himself as a shield between him and the newcomer.

They were clearly a boggin, tall yet slightly shorter than Ranboo, but the small spikes Ranboo had were nothing compared to the quills that lined their limbs. Their skin, what little they could see of it under a scaly cloak made of snake skin and the leather armor under it, was a desaturated grey-ish green. Their face was covered in a similar armor-like plate on the lower half with bones sewn into it in a curve reminiscent of a smile, and the cloak had a hood that fell over his head; the head of the snake with the jaw still intact, lining the top of his head and their collarbone with dagger like fangs. Above the mask, Tommy could see the remnants of a massive scar that gashed through the left side of their face down through the right, though it clearly continued behind the mask. This, this was their king. This was the guy his dad and Techno had warned him about, this was the bloodthirsty ruler of the Bogs. This was Dream.

They looked absolutely horrifying, but surprised Tommy when their eyes quirked up in what had to be a smile and they simply bowed to his father. “King Philza, your majesty.” Which immediately struck him as odd, but he assumed it was a royalty thing. He went to return the gesture and bow, but was elbowed harshly in the chest by his father. Phil glared at him momentarily before turning back to Dream. “…let’s just get this over with.” He said before walking past him and into the open area.

“…Techno! You seem to be doing well!” Dream said awkwardly as Techno went to follow Phil past the boggin. “And you still look decrepit. That scar still giving you a hard time, or does it look any better under that mask?” “Well sorry that not all of us grow back when they’re cut down.” Dream replied coldly. Techno simply shrugged and motioned for Tommy to walk past as well.

“Ah, you’re new! What’s your name?” Dream asked, and Tommy stopped. He…honestly felt bad. This guy was trying to be a good host, and his dad and Techno were being dicks to him. Godammit they were in his house! Weren’t there, like, hospitality rules or some shit? If someone walked into his home talking like that, Phil would have kicked them out before they even got in! Fucking hypocrite. Couldn’t they at least try to be a little nicer than normal? “I’m-“ “None of your concern, boggin.” Techno interrupted, coming back to grab Tommy by the wrist and drag him away. Oh, fuck this, Tommy had had enough.

He pulled away harshly from Techno’s hand and held it out to Dream. “I’m Tommy, the prince, Phil’s son. It’s a pleasure to meet you, sir.” Tommy watched Dream’s eyes widen in shock, but he felt eyes burning into the back of his head. He glanced back and, oh god, if looks could kill, Tommy would be a dead man. Phil looked absolutely murderous, and even slightly horrified at Tommy’s normal display of courtesy. Honest to god, it was just a handshake! What’s the worst that could-

It was only then that he remembered one crucial detail about the royal boggin family: just as the royal leafmen could control the life in the forest, the boggins could control death, and with that, rot. Any simple contact could kill anything, and more importantly for this particular matter, him.

Ok, maybe Tommy fucked up a little.

But to his surprise, Dream gingerly took his hand and shook it (he ignored how he heard Techno’s breath catch), eyes bright with joy. “Please, no need for the formalities, just call me Dream, kid.” He said, letting go of Tommy’s hand, and he couldn’t help but smile that Dream seemed to like him. “Let me guess, here on royal bullshit? Gotta learn how to negotiate and stuff?” Tommy nodded, “It’ll be my job someday, better learn how to get good at it now.” “Well, I like the confidence! How old even are you?” “Uh, I just turned 17.” “No way! I have a younger sibling that’s your age! I’ve only been in power for about a decade, so they’ve still got some time before they’re crowned since i’m not an old bat just yet,” Dream paused only briefly and Tommy fought the urge to laugh out loud at Phil’s offended gasp, “but you should totally meet them! Hold on, I’ll run and grab him!”

Dream held a finger up as he ran to a different section of the tunnels, and Tommy could only hope that he’d be back soon since Phil was glaring daggers at him and Techo’s head was just in his hands. Yeah, this would be a fun talk when he got home. Thankfully, Dream stepped into the room only slightly panting from his apparent sprint through his tunnels, the figure behind him shrouded in darkness from the section of the tunnel Dream had come from.

“Alrighty, King Philza, Tommy…” his eyes stalled at Techno, “bitch,” he continued before Techno had any time to interrupt, “I’d like you all to meet my little brother and our prince…”

The figure stepped into the light and Tommy made eye contact with them, freezing immediately, recognizing them. How could he not, they had been hanging out together in secret for months! They were his best friend! They were barely out of the tunnel before they froze as well, eyes locked onto Tommy, clearly recognizing him, as well.

Oh shit.

“…Ranboo!”

Not a move was made as they both tried to process what they were seeing. Ranboo had never told him they were a prince! To be fair though, Tommy hadn’t brought it up much, either. He hadn’t wanted Ranboo to treat him differently since he was royalty, but they probably felt the same way.

They were fucked, weren’t they?

[ctrl-alt-tahu]

Rebuilding the Sets?

So, a question as I construct my Alt-Canon is: do I keep the Matoran Rebuild? You know, the in-canon reason to explain the different appearances of the Matoran from the MNOG era and the MoL era. The rebuild is actually more important than I give it credit for: it establishes some important precedents about the Matoran’s abilities to be modified, which is obviously relevant come Karzahni and Voya Nui. Perhaps the more entertaining consequence is that it establishes Vakama (and the other Turaga? It seems to be a Vakama thing, but… is it?) as a better Matoran-modder than Artahka’s brother! It does seem a bit implausible, though, that, working with leftover Bohrok bits outside the infrastructure of the MU, this was as easy as it was.

In determining what to do with this, the first rule of my alt-canon needs to be remembered: make it possible to “play” with different sets of the same character at the same time: i.e. play with Tahu and Tahu Nuva together. The ripples of that decision are obviously either going to take me into ever-deeper nonsense or further from the Official Canon—or both.

But do I actually want to have two Jallers (a Jala and a Jaller) kicking around? I haven’t actually decided yet, which is why I think there’s a couple instances in my ficlets so far of being inconsistent with the spellings, but I’m kind of coming around to the opinion that it’s not a big deal. Here are the characters that actually get two appearances:

Jaller

Matoro

Hewkii

Macku

…and that’s it.

Kongu, Onepu, and Nuparu only appear as McToran, while Takua, Hafu, Hahli, and Kopeke only appear as MoLtoran. The four who duplicate do not do so in an significant manner: i.e. no changed masks, no changed colours—just the pieces used and thus the corresponding scale. And if you think of the “all Toa are actually about the same size” rule, then you can think of McToran as the Mata-scaled version and the MoLtoran as the Inika-scaled. And the distinction isn’t so severe that you can’t play with them all together. Indeed, I like the idea of some bodily diversity among the Matoran community—sure, they’re all built, but they’re also modifiable, as this whole topic demonstrates, and they’ve had centuries, even millennia, to undergo those modifications.

Sidebar: the funny thing about MoL to me is that although they made new sets to match the movie, the MoLtoran don’t actually look that much like the movie renderings of them!

One consequence of this is that I don’t have to keep any idea that the Matoran evacuated from Metru Nui are physically shrunken, which—good. That also only ever really made sense to me as a justification for changed toy design. That the Matoran lost their memories of Metru Nui is a core part of the story (well, a part you’d really have to change things to write around), but the physical change is so unimportant the movies don’t need it at all! And I’m fine with following their lead in this particular matter.

Mind you, the real reason for my ruling here is that I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that if I’d had duplicate Jallers in 2003 or so, that one of them would have quickly become “some other Ta-Matoran.” I’m not sure which would have been de-Jallered, though it seems a safe bet to say I’d have kept him as the McToran build, which is cuter and even then held greater nostalgia for me. (It’s also more amusing to have the super-serious and competent Captain of the Guard be the smallest build possible.) Of course, strictly going off sets, Takua now becomes the big (clumsy?) best bud of tiny-Jaller, but that has its own humour. It’s also the case that if I got two Mc-Jallers, that one would likely lose his mask and turn into a Mc-Takua.

None of this ever happened with the Toa, though: the Mata and the Nuva, the Inika and the Mahri—even the Metru/Turaga/Hordika got to interact with themselves, because they were all excitingly different. McToran to MoLtoran, however: not that different.

[flamencodiva]

Cursed To Karaoke 3 - I Just Want You To Be Mine

Description: Dean and Y/N get hit with a spell on a witch hunt. What happens when they don’t realize the spell has taken effect?

Pairing: Dean x Female!Reader

Warnings: Language, Angst, Fluff, Singing, Violence, Eventual Smut (*warnings may changed based on how the story is written)

Word Count: 3577

Dividers by: @firefly-graphics​

Curse to Karaoke Masterlist

Main Masterlist

“Oh no, please no… anything but this!!!!” Sam cried as the bar filled with the distinct sounds of ABBA. 

Y/N began moving her hips as the bar floor cleared. Sam watched as the people in the bar seemed to go along with it and he groaned. As Dean ignored Y/N and made his way to the bar where a busty woman was flirting with him. 

“Half past twelve. Watchin' the late show in my flat all alone, how I hate to spend the evening on my own.” Y/N sang as she began to move around and the men began to flirt with her. “Autumn winds blowin' outside the window, as I look around the room. And it makes me so depressed to see the gloom. There's not a soul out there, no one to hear my prayer.” She turned and was suddenly joined by the women at the bar. 

“Where the fuck did they come from?” Sam looked around wide-eyed. 

“Gimme, gimme, gimme a man after midnight. Won't somebody help me chase the shadows away. Gimme, gimme, gimme a man after midnight. Take me through the darkness to the break of the day” Suddenly all the women were paired off with men but Y/N was alone as she continued to sing, but Sam noticed her eyes went to Dean who looked at her right back. 

“Please, Dean, at least kiss her after this song. She is literally saying she wants you here!” Sam urged as he walked to the bar next to Dean. 

“Movie stars! On the end of the rainbow with a fortune to win it's so different from the world I'm living in.” Y/N walked up to his chair and caressed his face, her fingers trailed under his chin as she began to walk away and he followed. “Tired of TV. I open the window, and I gaze into the night. But there's nothing there to see no one in sight.” 

Dean grabbed on to Y/N hips, turning her in his arms as he pressed her body against his. He held  on to her right hand when she tried to pull away from him. He jerked her towards him, almost dancing with her as they moved to and fro. 

“Apparently Dean can disco and I need more shots,” Sam muttered as he tried to assess the scene. He watched as Y/N and Dean discoed with the other patrons who had no idea what was going on. 

“There's not a soul out there. No one to hear my prayer,” Y/N sang as Dean lifted her up and held on to her by her ass, his arms having hugged around it. 

“Wow, did not know Dean could do that,” Sam pouted and shrugged. 

“Gimme, gimme, gimme a man after midnight. Won't somebody help me, chase the shadows away. Gimme, gimme, gimme a man after midnight. take me through the darkness to the break of the day.” 

Dean slid Y/N down his face close to her body almost caressing her with it. Their face inches apart as Sam leaned towards them as he watched. 

“Do it, Dean, kiss her,” Sam urged. “Her lips are right there!” He gestured to how close their faces were. 

Y/N raked her fingers through Dean's short hair and pushed away from him as the women gathered in the middle to finish out the song. Sam groaned as his palm met his face.  

“Gimme, gimme, gimme a man after midnight...Gimme, gimme, gimme a man after midnight” the women sang in unison.

“There's not a soul out there...No one to hear my prayer….” At the last line, Y/N shook her hips as she raised her arms from the sides over her head and let them slide down her body. 

“Gimme, gimme, gimme a man after midnight. Won't somebody help me chase the shadows away. Gimme, gimme, gimme a man after midnight, take me through the darkness, to the break of the day. Gimme, gimme, gimme a man after midnight, won't somebody help me, chase the shadows away. Gimme, gimme, gimme a man after midnight, take me through the darkness, to the break of the day” 

Everything in the bar returned to normal as Dean and Y/N sat next to Sam drinking and laughing. Sam kept quiet as Dean and Y/N talked. 

“Ok, so next hunt...what do we think it will be?” Y/N grabbed her beer and took a sip. 

“I’m not sure,” Dean shrugged. “But it’s gotta be fun, right?”

“Why don’t you two go on one, just the two of you?” Sam tried to push them together. 

“Sam, I think the three of us… you know one last hunt before I go,” Y/N swallowed the lump in her throat. “I’ve overstayed my welcome …” she trailed off. 

“Hey, you can stay with us as long as you want,” Dean told her.

“I’m with Dean on this, we need you, Y/N.” Sam looked at her. “You are one of the best hunters we’ve worked with in a long time.” Sam gave her a pleading look. 

“I’m going to just try and hustle some more money,” she said as she motioned for the pool tables and smiled. “I’ll be back with more money.” 

As she walked away, Sam smacked Dean upside the head, “Why can’t you just tell her you like her!?” Sam cried. 

“Because she doesn’t like me, Sam!” Dean snapped at his brother.

“How do you know? Maybe she thinks you don't like her!” Sam hissed. “Dean, you guys have been singing to each other, whatever that witch did….” 

 “We’re not cursed. I mean, I’m probably cursed, but not to sing.” Dean shook his head.

 “I’m not lying, Dean! You sang Radiohead! You were singing Creep!” Sam screeched. 

 “I was not singing Radiohead,” Dean shook his head. “Sam, I think you’re losing it.”

 “But…” Before Sam could continue, a melody began to fill the air, “Oh no not this song!” he placed his head on the bar. Dean looked at Y/N and as soon as he opened his mouth the lyrics poured out.

 “Every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never coming 'round,” Dean belted. 

 “Turn around, Y/N for the love of God turn the fuck around!” Sam groaned. 

 “Every now and then I get a little bit tired of listening to the sound of my tears,” Dean sang while Sam sighed.

 “Turn around, Y/N!” Sam whined and waved his hand in front of Dean who seemed to be in a trance

. “Every now and then I get a little bit nervous that the best of all the years have gone by,” Dean sang.

 “Turn around,” Sam groaned with a small whimper. “Please, just turn around and kiss him, or fuck him, or something. Just make this stop!”  

 “Every now and then I get a little bit terrified and then I see the look in your eyes,” Dean sang as he watched Y/N playing pool and flirting with other men. 

 “(Turn around, bright eyes) every now and then I fall apart,” Sam joined in annoyed as he was made an accessory to the curse. This was just getting more ridiculous by the second. “(Turn around, bright eyes) every now and then I fall apart.” He continued to join Dean in the song. If this could help them finally get together he would have to suck it up. 

 Sam followed Dean as he walked towards Y/N who seemed to be ignoring his confession through the song. Sam could do nothing but roll his eyes as Dean knelt on the floor. Belting out the next bars of the song. 

“And I need you now tonight, and I need you more than ever,” Dean belted out as he crawled on his knees to the pool tables where Y/N was playing pool. The scene in front of her seemed nonexistent. “And if you only hold me tight, we'll be holding on forever. And we'll only be making it right. 'Cause we'll never be wrong together we can take it to the end of the line. Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time.” 

 “All of the, fucking, time, Y/N!” Sam yelled out but was ignored. 

 “I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark, we're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks.” Dean belted out, his raspy voice rolling in the last word as he followed Y/N around the pool table. His hands almost touched her but not quite reaching. “I really need you tonight. Forever's gonna start tonight. Forever's gonna start tonight,” Dean said as he began to walk away from Y/N. Everything seemed to be turning back as Dean paused to take a sip of his beer. “Once upon a time I was falling in love. But now I'm only falling apart.” Sam could see his brother taking a sad shaky breath before turning and playing with the label on his beer. “There's nothing I can do, a total eclipse of the heart.” Dean glanced at Y/N as she laughed at something the douchebag said. His heart squeezed at the sound of it before whispering the last bit of the song. “Once upon a time there was light in my life, but now there's only love in the dark. Nothing I can say, a total eclipse of the heart.”

 “Thank God,” Sam sighed. “It was the short version. I think I’m going to need help.” 

 “With what?” Dean asked looking at Sam. 

 “Are you serious?” Sam growled. He looked at his brother in disbelief. “Dean, you and Y/N were cursed by the damn witch! You’ve both been singing to each other for the past two days!”

 Dean scoffed and shook his head, “You need sleep, Sammy.” Dean slapped his brother’s shoulder. “I think this case is getting to you. Besides, you know Y/N and I aren’t…” 

 “You know what,” Sam interrupted with a shake of his head, lifting his arms up in defeat. “She leaves, you are going to regret it, Dean. She loves you, has been in love with you. And I know you’re in love with her.” 

 Dean shook his head and let out a laugh, “Maybe the witch's curse is getting to you.” Dean sighed. “I’ve told you before, Sam,” Dean looked at his brother. “Just... let’s try to convince her to stay. I think she should stay. More for you than for me.” 

 “Me?!” Sam practically yelled. “Dean, she wants you!” 

 “You’re her best friend,” Dean said as he shrugged. “Now shush, she’s coming back!” 

 “$4000,” she giggled. “Beat that Winchester.” She nudged Dean.   

 “Let’s call it a night, Y/N,” Dean said as he looked at Sam. “Been a long day.” 

 “Oh,” Y/N nodded and licked her lips. “Okay, we can have some fun tomorrow, maybe hustle some more.” 

 The ride back to the bunker was quiet, and Sam couldn’t stand it. He could feel the tension between the two and if the spell wasn’t neutralized soon, who knows what would happen. Once Dean and Y/N were in their rooms, he picked up his phone and dialed the familiar number. 

 “Rowena?” he breathed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I need a favor.” 

Part 4

Tags!

If you want to be on my tag list please send me an ASK. If I find that I can’t tag you please fix it so you don’t miss a chapter as I post it!

Forever Tags: Status: Open

@crashdevlin​ @anaelsbrunette​ @malfoysqueen14​ @divadinag​ @deanwanddamons​ @jensengirl83​ @erins-culinary-service​ @anathewierdo​ @superfanficnatural​ @emoryhemsworth​ @janicho88​ @talesmaniac89​ @smol-and-grumpy​ @atc74​ @msmarvelouswinchester​ @holylulusworld​ @ellewritesfix05​ @akshi8278​ @donnaintx​ @vicmc624​ @chocolateheart​ @deangirl93​ @winchest09​ @teresa-67​ @miss-nerd95​ @jawritter​ @just-a-touch-of-sass-and-fandoms​ @supernatural-love14​ @foxyjwls007​ @lunarmoon8​ @wonder-cole​ @quxxnxfhxll​ @erule​ @fantasydevil2002​ @deandreamernp​ @cutestdolans​ @peaches007​ @thoughts-and-funnies​ @doozywoozy​ @hoboal87​ 

Curse to Karaoke: Status: Open

@zombicupcake3 @beabutterfly987​

[imaginejamesandsirius]

based on the movie 1917 - James dies with Sirius hands on his stomach trying and failing to stop the bleeding.

((A/N: I've never seen that movie and I wasn't able to get my hands on it, so I used the prompt as the second half only-- James dies while Sirius tries to save him. James dies, but it’s temporary.))

Even as Sirius pressed his hands to James's stomach to staunch the bleeding, he knew it wouldn't do any good. He'd lost his wand. He couldn't apparate them to St. Mungo's, and he couldn't cast any spell that might buy them time. With the hole in his side, there was no telling if the healing spells that Sirius knew would even do any good if he could try them. He didn't have his wand. Merlin, why didn't he have his wand? Sure it had been taken from him and he'd been lucky to make it out of that room alive, but what was the fucking point if James was going to die from it now? 

The others were around. For once, they outnumbered the Death Eaters instead of the other way around. All James had to do was last until someone came 'round to find them. More of James's blood seeped around his fingers, and Sirius bit down hard on the inside of his cheek. "Hold on James, just- just hold on. A little bit longer and you'll be fine. We'll get you in hospital, and you can-" he choked on a sob, tears blurring his vision. 

James knew just as well as he did that he wasn't going to be getting up and walking away from this. "Sirius..." There was blood in his teeth. That couldn't be a good sign. He was trying to hold on Sirius's arm, but his grip slipped and he didn't have the energy to try again. "It's- cold, innit?" 

Sirius pressed down harder, then eased up at the grimace of pain on James's face. He shook his head. "It's bloody hot out here, James." 

"Huh. It's..." 

Sirius waited for him to finish. He never did. 

By the time Fabian and Gideon found them, the blood had stopped. Sirius had it all over his hands, and it had sunk into his trousers from where he'd been kneeling next to James. He didn't remember much except that he was crying, and they tried to pull him off of James and he'd started screaming that he wasn't dead. Remembering anything more probably would've destroyed him. He didn't want to think about it. James was... gone. And that was bad enough. He didn't need to have every detail burned into his brain so he could over analyse it. 

Looking back, he didn't know what he'd said to James. He couldn't remember what James said to him. He couldn't remember the exact moment that James had died; he didn't even know if he'd noticed that moment at the time that it had happened. 

The first thing he really remembered about the whole ordeal was about a week later, when Dumbledore asked him if he was going to be alright. 

"No." 

"Can you keep going?" 

"No." He'd left. He hadn't looked back. He went straight to Lily. 

Harry was asleep in her arms, and she smiled sadly when she answered the door. It used to be that if Harry went to sleep, she would immediately put him down. She couldn't stand to let him too far from her though, not after James... "It's good to see you Sirius," she said. She had to wipe at her eyes a moment later. She pulled him into a one-armed hug. "I'm glad you're here." 

Sirius swallowed, hugging her back while being mindful of Harry's position. "Yeah. It's good to see you too." 

"Come in?" Lily asked hopefully. 

He nodded, and she stepped aside to make room for him. He looked at Harry for a long moment. Longer than he'd meant to. He looked so much like James had as a baby that it hurt. Potter-Mum and Potter-Dad had taken great pleasure in showing Sirius the baby pictures when he moved in with them. James had been a little embarrassed but mostly rolled his eyes, and now he would never get to see how far that resemblance carried with Harry. The messy hair that marked the Potter Family was already distinct atop Harry's head. His colouring was more like Lily's, and his eyes had settled into familiar green a few months ago. Everything else screamed James. The shape of his head, the chubby cheeks, hell, even the ears. This was the same baby that James had handed to him the day he'd been born, and Sirius had sworn he would do everything he could to protect him. It had been a promise to Lily, to himself, to Harry, and to James. He wasn't about to break that promise. "We should go." 

"Go?" She didn't get it. It was so far from what she expected from him that she couldn't even guess what he meant. "Go where?" 

"I dunno. Somewhere. Out of Europe. Get some space." 

"I-." Lily blinked. "Sirius, this is our home. We can't just leave. There's a war on. Our friends are fighting out there." 

"Yeah. I don't know about you, but I can't fight anymore." Lily hadn't been able to since getting pregnant, and raising Harry had taken up the rest of her time. Sirius had felt nauseous holding his wand. If it were a life or death situation, he wasn't sure that he'd be able to cast a simple Protego to protect himself-- or anyone else. "Look, you can stay if you want, but I'm going, and I'd like if you and Harry came with me." He knew that they were the only other people who understood what it was like to lose James. Everyone thought they knew because James had that easy friendliness with everyone in the Order, but he'd always been more to the three of them. Well, the two of them. Harry was too young to understand why his father wasn't around anymore-- too young to really understand this loss. Lily didn't love James the same way that Sirius did, but she was the closest. He knew this was hitting her hard for more than just the-father-of-her-child; they'd been best friends too. 

"How can you leave? That's not like you." Her voice was low so as to not wake Harry, but there was an intensity there that meant, were the situation different, she might be yelling at him-- or at least she would be close to it. 

"Maybe not, but I'm going." Truth be told, it left a sour taste in Sirius's mouth, but he knew that he couldn't stay here. It felt far too cowardly, running away, but staying would be nothing more than a death wish in action for himself. "You can think about it. I'm leaving on Friday." He needed that time to pack up his shite and take care of James's desk at the Ministry. He had to clear out his flat and talk to the landlord too. He'd be able to cram it all in one day if he wanted, but Lily needed time to think, and it was difficult to force himself to do anything out of the flat. 

*

Lily didn't need until Friday to come up with an answer. She showed up the day after they talked, Harry in her arms and a bag on her shoulders; Sirius didn't need a peek inside to know it had the whole of her worldly possessions in it. 

With Lily and Harry around, Sirius didn't need until Friday to get everything done. They were out of Great Britain-- and all of Europe-- on Wednesday. 

*

Fourteen Years Later

"Why are you giving me that look?" Lily asked suspiciously. It's not that Dumbledore was being mean. Quite the opposite, in fact. He was being far too nice, considering that her son had just broken into the Ministry and destroyed an entire subsection of their building, including several irreplaceable magical artifacts. Neville was the official leader of the group, but he was also the Boy Who Lived, and Harry seemed happy to take all the blame for things that went wrong. 

It's not as though Dumbledore ever yelled at her or summat, but he did occasionally get a pinched look about his eyes when they talked about Harry. This wasn't like that. This was a look more like he was trying to give her bad news. She had no bloody idea what that bad news could be since she'd seen Harry not ten minutes ago, and he'd been fine. Shaken up, but unharmed. 

"There was... an event." 

"An event," she repeated flatly. "Other than a bunch of teenagers breaking into the Ministry of Magic with no problems?" 

"After they were there." 

"Okay?" 

"James..." 

Lily stiffened. Sirius had gotten a bad fever a few months back, and his insistence that James was in the house somewhere had broken her heart. His death was a wound that had never healed, and she knew that it never would. Any time they talked about him, it was tinged with sadness. "What about him," she asked tightly. 

"He's back." 

"The dead don't come back. Not whole." 

"The impossible has a habit of happening around young Mister Potter. It's him, Lily. James, as he was the same day that he died." 

She grit her teeth. This couldn't be. She knew that it couldn't be, but there was still a treacherous flare of hope in her stomach. "I need to see him before I believe it." 

"Of course. Come with me." 

"Have you told Sirius?" 

"I thought it best for you to believe it first, before speaking with him." 

Yeah, that was probably a good idea. Sirius wouldn't exactly take this well if it turned out to be a trick. She wouldn't take it well, but she could come back from it far easier than he could. She hoped. 

Lily had a million worries as she followed Dumbledore, but all of it evaporated the moment she saw James. It was him. It shouldn't have been possible, but it was him. She didn't have to ask him anything to be sure; there was just the sense of life, of soul or whatever you wanted to call it that made her certain that it was him. His presence felt the same. 

And then he saw her, grinned, and said, "Hey Lily, did you see how big Harry got?" 

She didn't have it in her to be embarrassed that she was crying in front of the kids as she threw her arms around him-- of course Harry had wanted to spend as much time with him as he could, and his friends had all wanted to stay together-- because it was James. It was James, and he was here, and he was real. Buggering hell, he even smelled the same. She couldn't call up the memory of his smell on command, but she could recognise it now that it was back. He didn't fit the same way in her arms, not anymore. Her body had changed, gotten older, and she didn't mind it one bit. 

James looked the same. Like nothing had changed. He smiled the same way. No one smiled the same after everything, but James did. Unbidden, she wondered if he remembered dying and that Sirius had been there when it happened. It had been bad enough for her to hear about it, but Sirius had been there as his life slowly drained from him, with nothing to do except watch it happen. James glanced behind her, searching. "Did Sirius not come with you?" 

"No, he er-" she wiped at her eyes. "He's probably yelling at the Minister right now." 

"Sounds like something he'd do," James said, aiming for teasing. He sort of hit it, but it was obvious that he didn't understand why Sirius wasn't here to see him. "So am I going to him or are you calling him here?" James asked Dumbledore. 

"I'll go get him," Lily said quickly. Sirius would take it best coming from her. "You stay here and get to know Harry a little better. He's-" her throat closed up, and she had to swallow a couple times before she could continue, "He's almost as old as you are." 

"That's going to take some getting used to." 

Lily went around the table to give Harry a tight hug before she left. Then she gave James another hug, because this whole thing was utterly unbelievable, and she wanted to know that she'd kept her family as close to her as she could. Dumbledore went to the floo with her, and she turned down his invitation to join her. He'd done all he could at the Ministry; Sirius was blowing off steam and a whole lot of panic from Harry nearly getting killed. Bringing Dumbledore back to that wouldn't end well, and she wasn't looking for a confrontation. She wanted to grab Sirius and bring him back here because every moment that he wasn't with James was a moment that had been wasted. James was back-- alive-- and Sirius didn't even know about it. 

She interrupted where, sure enough, Sirius was giving the Ministry officials a piece of his mind. "Sirius, you need to come home." 

He frowned a little, confused. 

"Now," she added with a meaningful widening of her eyes, and he didn't know what was going on, but he knew that he should listen to her. 

She pulled him through the floo, then took a deep breath. This was it. This was one of the most important things she was ever going to tell him, and she didn't have the words. 

"Everything okay?" he asked. 

"James is alive," she blurted. "Or- resurrected, I guess. It's him. Not a ghost or an Inferus or anything. It's him." 

"That's not possible," Sirius said immediately. 

"I said the same thing, but Sirius, I swear that it's him. Go in there," she said, pointing to the dining room door where everyone had convened. "See for yourself." 

Instead of heading straight there to either prove her wrong or have it confirmed, he stayed standing where he was. There was a mixture of hope and pain on his face, and she knew that he was feeling the same way she had before she saw him. 

"Come on," she said, tugging on his arm. When he easily followed her, she knew that all he had needed was a nudge. If he did it himself and it turned out to be nothing, he'd only have himself to blame for hoping for the impossible. But like this, he was following Lily, same as he'd done for years while they raised Harry. She pulled him over to the door and pushed it open, both of them stepping inside like they'd done a dozen times since the Order re-formed. 

It was a tangible thing, the way the air stilled when Sirius and James saw each other for the first time in over a decade. Sirius was frozen in place at her side, but James was on his feet, barreling into him and hugging him so tightly it had to have hurt. 

There was a pause, where Sirius's eyes widened, and he was taking in all the same details that Lily had. The way James felt, the way he smelled, the way he looked like not a damn thing had changed since his death. His death could be seen on both of them, but not James. The small defense Sirius had built up to protect himself from disappointment crumbled in an instant, and he was hugging James back, just as tight. 

"Don't ever do that again, you tosser," Sirius muttered. 

*

James asked if he could stay with Sirius that night, and Sirius had immediately said yes. 

"Oh Merlin," Sirius said, looking around the room. "I know I've got your old clothes here somewhere, but I can't remember where I stashed them." Lily had thought that he'd gotten rid of them, but he couldn't bear to get rid of a single thing of James's. Every last scrap of paper he'd written on was preserved and stored, tucked away so it couldn't be damaged. Sirius needed to have it for peace of mind, but he never looked at them. Knowing that they existed was enough. The trouble was that he'd been so determined to never look at them that he'd completely forgotten where they were. 

"It's alright. I can borrow some of yours, yeah?" 

"Yeah. Yeah, I don't know why I didn't think of that. Dresser's over there, pick out whatever." 

It took a little bit of rifling, but James grabbed some loose, comfy clothes and changed, utterly unashamed of his audience. Of course, it was Sirius, and they'd done this a hundred times before in the course of living together. It was only after he was once again dressed that James looked nervous, ruffling his hair. He didn't have his glasses on, which served to make him look younger and his eyes more wide. "I know this isn't... the best time, but I wanted to tell you. I mean, I never did before, and what good did it do me, you know?" 

"What're you talking about?" 

"I love you." A quick inhale. "I'm in love with you. I should've told you ages ago, but I always thought that I had more time and- and obviously I didn't. It's- it's better late than never, isn't it?" James asked, looking at him desperately. 

Sirius couldn't feel anything but a sinking numbness. This wasn't James. He'd been so happy for the idea of having him back that he hadn't investigated it. 

"I know it's been- Merlin, a decade for you, so even if you used to feel the same, you probably don't anymore, but I had to tell you." 

He'd wanted so badly for this to be James, and it wasn't. It was a projection. A damn good one. So many details were perfect. The way his hair stuck up on the right side-- never the left. How, when he smiled, his eyes would crinkle until they looked nearly shut, but one eye was always a little bit wider. The little wiggle he did with his nose to get his glasses back in the correct position when his hands were occupied. The way he acted like it was his personal duty to make sure Sirius had positive, casual physical contact. 

"Sirius?" 

It had all been a dream come true, and Sirius hadn't questioned it. He'd been doubtful when Lily told him, it's true, but the moment he laid eyes on James, all of it had been gone. He'd been so happy, so relieved that he'd stop feeling like half a man walking around, that every doubt had vanished in an instant. 

"Sirius?" James said again. He took a step forward and put a hand on Sirius's arm. 

Sirius jerked back. This wasn't James. He couldn't stand here and pretend like it was. He couldn't lie to his face to keep suspicions down before he talked to Lily. Under usual circumstances, he would've already gone to her, but she'd fallen asleep happy and deserved some rest. Sirius fumbled for the doorknob and practically ran out of the room, the door slamming behind him. 

James didn't remember dying. He was pretty sure that this was worse though. Merlin, Remus was right; he really was over-dramatic. But right on the trail of that thought was the idea that it was accurate to how he felt. It wasn't just a rejection; James could handle a rejection. Hell, that's what he'd been expecting when he made the decision to tell Sirius. He'd been expecting a sad smile or maybe a stricken expression as Sirius said that he didn't feel the same way-- or that he had, once, but it was so long ago for him and James had been gone for so long that he'd moved on. James had been prepared for that sort of heartbreak. 

But Sirius hadn't just said no, it had been a vehement no, like he was upset with James for even thinking it, let alone saying it. Then he left. No words of comfort or denial. Nothing. He left like he couldn't stand to be in the same room as him. Rejection was one thing; revulsion was quite another. He would've been able to take Sirius turning him down, but he couldn't handle losing him entirely. 

Numbly, James backed up to the bed and sat down. He'd lost him. 

He hadn't been back for twelve hours, and he'd lost one of the most important people in his life. Would Lily hate him for it too? Would Harry? He'd seen how close all of them were. He'd thought, earlier in the evening, that he didn't really fit there anymore, and this was more reason to think that he wasn't going to get anything like his old life back. He'd known that from the moment he got spit out and told what year it was. There was no going back, no fixing the mistakes he'd made. 

He knew how everyone thought of the whole ordeal with him coming out of the Veil, and their way was more accurate even if it didn't feel that way to him. They felt like he'd died and come back, but as far as he was concerned, he'd been on ice for a decade and a half, then come out to see that everything had changed without him. 

James remembered getting up that morning for work, and he remembered getting to the Ministry. Everyone in the entire world could tell him that he'd died later that night during a fight between the Order and the Death Eaters, but it sounded like a weird story and not something that had happened to him. He didn't have any memories from that. He left the flat for work one morning like he always did, and that night, Sirius was older and freaking out. Lily had gotten older and, with nothing else to do, had put her entire heart and soul into raising Harry. Harry had gone from a chubby little baby to a self-confident teenager, and all of it happened in less than a day. 

He'd lost the life he'd made, got introduced to the world he'd have to get used to, then lost Sirius. 

He didn't know when he started crying, but he wasn't surprised. He bent his head down and tried to keep quiet; he didn't want to wake Lily or make Sirius mad at him. 

*

Lily awoke to a very tense household, although she couldn't tell straight away. She padded to the kitchen to start some tea and spotted Sirius already sat at the table like he'd been there all night. She figured it had been all night because there were half a dozen dirty mugs by the sink that hadn't been there when she went to bed. Not to mention that Sirius usually didn't get up a minute before he had to. It didn't sound like James was up yet, which made it more strange that Sirius was out here. 

"Have you been out here all night?" Lily asked. 

Sirius jumped. He hadn't heard her walk in. He cleared his throat and ran a hand through his hair as if to fix it even though it didn't need fixing. "Yeah." 

"Everything okay?" 

"That's not James." 

"What? What are you talking about? Of course it's James." 

"Did you check?" 

"No, but I'm sure they were certain before they brought him back and told everyone he was alive." She didn't mean to snap at him, but that's how it came out. Lily took a deep breath in and let it out slowly. "I know that you're having trouble accepting it, but can't you just be happy? James is back, and we never thought that would happen. Enjoy it." 

"If you didn't check for yourself, how are you so sure?" Sirius asked, looking up at her. His eyes were red from lack of sleep, and he had a haunted cast to his eyes that reminded her of the first couple years after James's death. "Did you ask him anything at all? Or did Dumbledore-- a man who barely knew him-- say that it was him and you took it as fact?" 

"Do you really think that Dumbledore would've said it was him if it wasn't? What could the two of us possibly know more about death magics than him that could help us here? It's James. I know it's hard, and I- yeah, okay, it's unbelievable, so much so that I almost wonder if it was real. But couldn't you tell, the moment you saw him, that it was truly James?" 

"Yes, but what if that was a compulsion too? This is complex, woven magic that-" 

"Have you found any evidence of magic on him?" 

Sirius scowled, and Lily took the seat across from him. 

"What happened to make you so suspicious? You were happy yesterday." 

Sirius's jaw clenched. "He said something that the real James never would have." 

"I don't want to say it, but how can you be sure of that? It's been a decade. Things change. Memories change. We're not going to turn him into a lab rat because he said you like earl grey the best." 

"The bloody hell is a lab rat?" 

"That's not the point. What did he say?" 

"If you think it's nothing, why do you want to know?" 

"Because you're my friend, and I'm not going to let you drive yourself mad when you could be happy." 

*

The next time Lily saw James, he was crying quietly. Sirius had told her what James said, and it looked like he'd been telling the truth, if not the entirety of the situation. "Hey," she said softly. 

James wiped at his face a little and tried to give her a smile. "Hey. What's up?" 

"Sirius told me what happened. You okay?" 

"I'll get there. Sometime. Assuming that he doesn't want me dead," he muttered. 

"He doesn't want you dead; he's worried that you're not really yourself." 

"What?" 

"He took your confession to mean that you're not really James Potter. I agreed to get you tested to ease his worries, so let's get some breakfast, get dressed, and go to St. Mungo's. Nothing invasive, I promise." 

"Yeah." James wiped at his face some more. "That's probably a good idea. They weren't very thorough before. Dumbledore asked me a couple questions before and said that it was me." 

"James... you're not doubting it, are you?" 

"'course not," James lied. He'd always been bad at lying unless it was life or death. 

Lily bit back a sigh. She understood. She knew that this situation was shite and they were all having trouble dealing with it, but she just wanted for everything to be okay so they could be happy. Harry was going to be home soon, and it wouldn't do any of them good if they were all dealing with it poorly. 

*

"Do you want the good news or the bad news?" Lily asked Sirius. James was clear on the other side of the room, talking to Harry, and no one was close enough to them to overhear the specifics. 

"I don't see how the good news could be better than the bad, so spit it out." 

"The good news is that it's really James, and he's healthy and he's here to say." 

Unconsciously, Sirius brightened. "How is there any bad news with that?" 

"Well, it's only bad news for you." 

Sirius frowned at her. 

"He told you that he loved you, and you were so convinced that it wasn't true, you thought it wasn't even James. So er," she pat him on the shoulder, "have fun with that." 

Sirius cursed under his breath and rubbed at his eyes. "Put yourself in my position, Lils. He never said anything, gets... resurrected and suddenly says that he's been in love with me for ages? Would you have trusted that?" 

She wouldn't have, but that's not the point. Agreeing with Sirius wouldn't help him any. "I'm not the one you need to tell it to. Look, I'm not in James's head, so I can't say for sure what he's thinking, but it seems to me like he took that as a rejection." 

"What makes you think it wasn't a rejection? It's been... over ten years, and he's still twenty. I'm not anymore." 

Lily's gaze on him was steady. When she smiled at him, it was small and fond. "I know because I know you. You look at James the same way that he looks at you. Now, did I know before that that look meant love? No, but now that I know that it's true for James, that means it's true for you too." 

"I would hate you if you weren't so helpful," Sirius muttered, hugging her. 

"Does that mean you're going to talk to him?" 

"Well. It means I won't be avoiding him," Sirius said, and she was going to take that as a good thing. 

Sirius set his drink down and made his way over to James, wading through the crowd of people like a man on a mission. She was to take it as a very good thing. 

"Hey James?" 

"Yeah?" James said automatically, looking over at him. Then he saw that it was Sirius, and he straightened. "Hey." 

Sirius turned to face Harry. "Mind if I steal your dad for a bit? I think Lils might want to talk to you about where you're staying." 

Harry nodded, gave James a slightly awkward goodbye and went one direction while Sirius and James went the other. 

"I'm er, cleared," James said. "Officially me, officially not a danger to you or anyone else." 

"Yeah, Lily told me." 

"Oh. Good. So erm what, what are we doing?" 

Sirius knew that he should be smarter about it, and he was aware of that while he was doing it, but he still pushed James up against the wall after they were alone in the hallway and kissed him. "I... James..." Sirius swallowed thickly. "I should've done that when we were fourteen." 

James laughed, quiet and relieved. "I'm just glad you're doing it now." He leaned up, and Sirius leaned down, and they were kissing again. 

[lovemesomesurveys]

How many best friends do you have? One.

Have you ever lied to any of them? Yes.

Are you more confrontational or avoid-problems-at-all-costs? I definitely avoid more than actually dealing with problems.

Are you pregnant? Definitely not.

When's the last time you screamed? I’m not really one to scream. 

Do you know any foreign languages? I know some Spanish.

What color is you bookbag? I don’t have a book bag anymore.

Do you own DC shoes or Etnies? Not currently, but I did in high school.

Who is your favorite teacher? My 4th and 8th grade teacher, Mr. McG. What about least favorite Two of the math professors I had in community college. They were horrible.

How many times have you read Twilight? I read each of the books just once.

Do you know anyone named Basil? No.

What perfume do you wear, if any? None currently. I haven’t worn perfume in awhile.

What was the last word you wrote down? I don’t recall.

Who did you see at lunch today? I’m not in school and I don’t have a job, but I probably won’t see my family here at home at lunchtime cause I’ll likely sleep through lunch.

Do you have a nickname? Steph and Sis.

Do you know anyone that spells their name the same way as you? I’ve known a few Stephanie’s that also spelled it the same way.

What are you doing this weekend? Nothing out of the ordinary.

How long have you had your myspace? Myspace died over a decade ago, but I had mine from like 2005 to early 2009.

Do you have AIM? AIM died as well back in 2017.

Is there a word that you just can't spell? Onomatopoeia is always a challenging one for me. <<<

Do you shop and K-Mart? Our K-Mart closed quite a long time ago. I don’t think there are any left now, are there?

Do you know your dad's birthday? Yes, he just had his birthday last weekend.

I say Ahoy, you say...? Arrr, matey? I feel like this is the only reasonable response. <<< lol yeah I got nothin’ else.

Where did you get the shirt you are wearing? Hot Topic.

Have you ever learned all the words to a commercial song? Yeah, several. That’s what those sneaky commercial jingles are meant to do.

How many piercings do you have? Just my earlobes.

Do you have good posture? *Me, currently sitting like a pretzel* Oh yeah.

Are you good with kids? Kids get overwhelming and can be annoying lol. I’m not around kids often, though.

What was the last thing you said? “Goodnight.”

What is the oldest someone has guessed you are? People guess I’m younger than I am.

What was your favorite movie as a kid? I’ve always loved Disney animated movies. <<<

What was the scariest thing that happened today? Nothing as of now. Hopefully nothing will.

Where did your parents get the idea for your name? My dad said there was some character on a show he liked in the 80s named Stephanie and he liked the name. When I was born, my parents both agreed that it was fitting for me.

Are you right or left handed? I’m right handed.

What is your favorite place to get pizza? It’s a local place. What is your favorite type of movie? Horror, psychological thriller, superhero, sci-fi and fantasy, action, adventure, rom-coms... I like variety. 

Name three things you want to do before you die. I’ve answered this a few times as of late.

Do you keep a journal or diary? You’re looking at it.

Have you ever had champagne? Yeah.

Do you wear lip gloss? I haven’t in several years.

Where did you get the shoes you have on? I’m not wearing shoes right now.

What color is your light switch cover? White.

When you were younger, what did you want to be when you grew up? I wanted to be a teacher.

What is the closest red thing to you? My hamper. Are you allergic to anything? Tangerines and seaonal allergies.

What was your mom's maiden name? I’m not sharing that.

Do you own any boxed sets of DVDs? I have a few I Love Lucy boxsets and one of The Dick Van Dyke Show.

What was your favorite Christmas present last year? All of them.

Are you planning on living anywhere besides where you live now? Someday, hopefully in the not so distant future. My family and I very much want to move.

Find the book closest to you. Turn to page 38. Type line 13. Nah.

What is your favorite fruit? Bananas.

Is your name Rebecca? Nope.

Have you ever worn pantyhose on your head? No.

Do you want to adopt kids? If so, where from? I don’t want kids.

How many pirates do you know? I don’t know any.

What has been your favorite age so far? Childhood ages.

Does it bug you when people use asterisks to show what they are doing? No. I do that sometimes. I did that in this survey, actually.

What are you going to study in college? I majored and got my BA in psych.

Do you have a dog? I do.

How about a cat? No.

What color is your hair naturally? Dark brown.

If you've seen the Twilight movie, did you notice Stephenie Meyer in it? Yeah.

Did you read Amelia Bedelia as a kid? Aw yeah, I loved those books.

What was the last song you sang? I don’t remember at the moment.

Have you ever been in a choir? In elementary school.

Quick! Think of a word that starts with M. Maruchan (my favorite ramen brand).

Do you like Chinese food? I like some, but it’s not my favorite. Like, it’s not something I crave or have often.

Do you own any Coach purses? Nope.

Who is your #1 myspace friend? --

What's the last thing you regret doing? Meh.

Do you have a good relationship with your parents? Yes.

Showers: morning or night? At night.

Do you wear make-up? I haven’t the last few years.

In your opinion, are interracial marriages ok? Um, yes?

Do you still sleep with a stuffed animal? I have a few that sit on my bed.

Do you say I love you to just anyone? No, I don’t throw those words around.

What color are your eyes? Brown.

Quote a line from your favorite song. I have a lot of favorite songs.

Are you homeschooled? I was briefly homeschooled in the 5th and 6th grade due to having to spend months recovering after surgeries. My 5th and 6th grade teachers actually came to my house a few times a week.

What are you trying to change about yourself? Nothing at the moment, though there’s a lot I should be working on.

How often do you check your myspace? I haven’t checked it in over a decade.

What embarrassed you today? Nothing so far, but it’s only 6 in the morning.

If you went to New York City today, what would you do? I wouldn’t want to go right now cause of the pandemic, but I’d love to go someday and see all the sights.

Have you ever considered colored contacts? No, contacts freak me out. I can’t bring myself to even try putting them on.

Do you have an accent? If so, what is it? Apparently we all do, but it’s weird for me, a Californian, to think of myself as having one. It’s not distinctive or recognizable. Like, I don’t think someone would know I was from here just from hearing me talk, ya know?

Coke or Pepsi? Coke.

Have you ever liked someone younger than you? Just by a year.

Who is the most embarrassing person in your family? Me.

Finish the sentence. I have lost my faith in ... Myself.

Does it bother you when people exaggerate? It depends. I know I can do that as well, though.

Have you ever hurt someone you love? Not intentionally, but yes. Who was your first celebrity crush? Aaron Carter.

Who will most likely repost this? @lovemesomesurveys, probably. Lol. <<< Yep! haha.

If you had to choose, would you rather be deaf or blind? That’s hard. 

Are you bored? No.

Do you wear your hair up or down? It’s always just up in a messy bun.

Off to find another survey, aren't you? Maybe. I’m tired, though. 

[ottorocket808]

Chapter Eight: The Mind Flayer

Ok heads up because the Mind Flayer from D&D doesn’t really seem like a boss level type of bad guy I changed the spelling a little bit to ‘The MindFlayer’ because this dude is definitely a final boss type of bad guy. Speaking of which they have genders in The Upside Down? Imagine Dart actually being a girl.

Again don’t tell me that they can’t get through if you haven’t tested the theory. They should take this time to run like hell. This is one of many times watching horror movies and sci-fi flicks comes in handy. He can’t be trusted knock his ass out.

How did they short the building?

In all honesty with her wheels still in the house i wouldn’t have assumed she went far.

I feel like this is how everybody should get ready for a date he is hype bouncing around flirting with himself having an all around great time before he even sees the girl. Wait you two were at Sears for how long?! He said 3 hrs late what time is it?? She shouldn’t that’s latch key kid age. I wonder how many beatings and how much abuse he had to endure because of her actions. I don’t think Max ever sees this side of things it makes Billy make a hell of a lot more sense. After watching that scene it’s making me wish Max would’ve stayed at home.

Damn Steve why you gotta bring that part up? But you gotta own up to your shit Dustin. Why does she seem offended by being called a stranger I mean they don’t really know you you’re like an acquaintance at this point. They’re heading towards the sound because that’s how you find out where they’re going.

Hop don’t fuckin listen the Dr said there are two steps he only heard the one he knows he can do and figured that’d be enough but nah now Bob gotta save the day again. Easy Peasy. I respect Bob for putting his love and her son above himself.

Yup it’s your ex boyfriend and The Party +1, people neither one of you have been thinking about this entire fucking season. They answered for us kinda cool. Just move and let the boy jam the button for a while. GO BOB!!!!! if the exit is on the 1st floor why wouldn’t he send them to the 2nd or 3rd?

I’m proud of Bob for holding it together while being hunted but disappointed he didn’t catch that broom. This is one of those horror movie moments Bob you don’t stop running until there is at least a mile between you and whatever is hunting you. RIP Bob. I’m still kinda pissed at Hop man shot only 3 bullets at the one on top of Bob....3 shots.

JUSTICE FOR BOB

Fuck yo sorry Jonathan you should’ve been here no amount of apologies makes your absence better.

Who the hell did he call?? And sitting still and waiting for help can frequently be stupid especially with the human gps in the house. You can tell that Max didn’t think that she might die when she hopped on Lucas’ bike wanting proof of what he’s been through.

Bob laced Mr Clarke?! He’s a cooler dude than I thought. Dustin has gotta relax when talking to girls. I’m still thinking it’s a symbiote. Exactly Dustin. How does Hop go from this is a kids game (not true) to flipping through the manual tryin to figure out how to kill it? Yes you do because unless you’re a shit shot you shot the one on Bob 3 times and nothing happened Hawkins lab was filled with soldiers and the only people who made it out was you four....

Lucas she is your girlfriend you just haven’t officially asked her out yet.

Max...baby why did you think that was a good bonding topic? ‘Your dead* girlfriend seemed like a really cool girl.’ But my heart broke for her when she said ‘why would you want a stupid Zoomer in your party?’ It’s not you he never got over his heart break and with what happened to Bob it was like picking off a scab way too early.

Why not just put the bottle under his nose why bother with the cotton ball at all.

Now you ponder the downside?! The answer to her question is yes Lucas y’all gotta stop speaking in absolutes your opponent is unpredictable. The answer to your question is also obvious if you were paying attention while Hop was screaming into the phone dude legit said I don’t know how many are left alive you should’ve been scared and trying to go home then there’s no shame in leaving but understand that if you stay you could die at any minute.

Has anybody up here eaten even relatively recently? I only ask because of how quickly Will ran out of steam. As a person who doesn’t know what Morse Code looks like when tapped out like that and I don’t have the Morse Code alphabet memorized and no internet to look it up I’d be screwed.

This show made me love this song. CLOSE GATE easier said than done without the person who opened it present. Got damn phone!! Who the hell is calling this late at night? Dammit Nancy really?! That’s the second time you broke Joyce’s phone just leave it off the hook same effect. How distinctive is that ringer??

Make it easy kids let me know exactly where you are no guess work. No he doesn’t he’s a shit shot Nancy could use some practice but she’s a WAY better shot than he is. Everybody has a weapon except for Max, Dustin, Jonathan, and Joyce what are they gonna do when shit hits the fan??

Really El?! Did you have to break the window?! My baby El comin through saving the day and swaggering into the house like the BAMF that she is!!!

[hazzabeeforlou]

11/11/11

Oh my gosh so my lovely friends @halosboat @helloamhere and @haztobegood all tagged me in this so I’m going to answer a few from each of them I hope that’s okay!!

1. Do you prefer to write in past or present tense?

I mostly use past tense. Present squeaks me out a bit, not sure why, perhaps my anxiety can’t deal with things happening in the moment! I have an irrational fear of the word ‘was,’ though, which is eliminated in present by ‘is’ so, one would think I’d like present more but I *don’t*

2. Is there any story you want to write but feel like you won’t manage?

My story The Garden is going to be... hard. It’s a soulmate fic set in three time periods, a Biblical AU following the reincarnation of lovers David+Johnathan but in the middle ages, Jesus+Judas in the 1960s, and Adam+Eve in the present day, all obviously portrayed by Harry and Louis. It stems from the evangelical idea that Adam, David, and Jesus were the three ‘Christs,’ or rather that Adam and David were imperfect Saviors. Anyways. I want it to explore divinity and fate and religion and politics and loss and violence and love, and the blurring between good and evil and if there even is a distinction, and it’s so clear in my mind that I can almost taste it, but because of that I’m very daunted by the prospect. It would also be very LONG. And idk who would read a biblical gay love story AU so... I’ve even considered just doing a novel, not a fan fic *shrugs*

3. Which one of your fics do you think deserves more love? 

OH BOY. Well I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again. My RUDOLPH THE RED NOSED REINDEER AU. Like. Harry is a shapeshifting reindeer. He pulls Santa’s sleigh. He love Christmas more than anything in this whole damn world. Louis is one of Santa’s elves and Harry’s best friend and he wants nothing more than to run away and explore the world. There’s all the mutual idiotic oblivious pining. There’s Christmas shit. SO much Christmas shit. There’s smut. There’s magic. Peppermint dildos. Need I say more?

4. Are the fictional characters you like to read/write similar to the people you like in real life?

I unfortunately read about the people in my real life quite enough in the news *trump voters cough cough* so no, I try to fill my fictional life with witches and warlocks and fairies and intellectuals and scientists and the occasional damsel wandering the moors. As for the characters I write, I have noticed that I tend to make them all very emotionally prone, which I think is more a reflection of myself than the people I’m around. I honestly base most of my characters, or at least their inner issues, on myself, not in an egotistical way, but in an ‘I know myself better than anyone else in my life’ way. Now. Do I like myself? Haha. Um. Ya there’s a reason I solve my self-based character’s problems in fics, I usually need to learn those lessons in my real life.  

5. What is your biggest fear about your writing?

My biggest fear has always been failure. As a musician, I’m constantly fearing my art. It’s my profession, and it has to be perfect, and it’s a constant strain. So when it comes to writing, I just don’t let myself care. That’s not to say I don’t edit obsessively and let my perfectionist side play, but because writing is for fun, I don’t fear failing at it. So what if no one reads a story I wrote? I wrote it for me. I wanted to read that story, so I did, and if people hate it, so what. If writing ever became my profession I would likely attach my self worth to it like I do with music, and that’s part of the reason I shy away from that path... I want writing to always be my safe place. Now mechanically, I admit freely that I am the world’s WORST speller. Above that, I also am slightly dyslexic when it comes to right/left, music staff lines, and some words, so I’ll often use the wrong word that sounds the same, you know. Believe it or not my vocab score on the GRE was fucking PERFECT. I just can’t remember how to spell anything, I will legit SPEAK the word I want into Siri and hope she can save my ass. The spelling rules of English are my worse enemy. 

6. What is the least “you” story that you like, what was something you really thought you wouldn’t like but ended up loving?

This is so hard because I’m super picky and usually don’t have the patience to wait out things that initially fail to grab my interest. Perhaps... dare I say, the Great British Baking show? I eat none of the things they make. I usually don’t like reality tv or competition shows, they’re too anxiety inducing. But I LOVE this show. I will binge watch it while curled up in bed drinking tea. I now know what a proving drawer is. 

7. How do you think about places, locations, settings for your fics?

Usually my plots come ready-made with places. The two are pretty inseparable. I knew PITS would happen in a place like my hometown, that was integral to the story. I knew Until You Remember would be a coastal British village like I’d seen on BBC shows. I knew Flawless would be in NYC, and same with Reindeer Games (apart from the North Pole of course). For Kiss the Girl I did debate between Miami and St. Pete, but having been to both I just... Miami is so wild. I needed a slow, tired place that felt old and forgotten. I guess the real answer to this question is that I set fics mostly in places where I’ve spent time in real life! 

8. Give me an example of a scene or plot point in a fic of yours that changed a lot from what you thought it would be

I struggled a lot with the end of Flawless. I’d written this fic and posed all these problems and questions about the nature of love and passion and art and they were all questions I’d been dealing with in my real life and hence I just didn’t have the answers. So I sat on the fic for a while and spent lots of time just thinking, thinking while I put makeup on in the morning, during rehearsal, as I drove places, etc. I remember when the answer “art never needs to be flawless to merit love/people don’t need to be flawless to merit love” hit me, I was sitting on the bathroom counter flossing my teeth or something, and I just jumped up and ran to my notebook. Because that’s a super obvious answer, isn’t it? But I hadn’t been able to find it amidst all the clutter of my questions. 

9. Do you consider tags necessary for fics or are they just spoiling the content?

100% necessary. I was super conscious of this for PITS, as the last thing I ever wanted to do was trigger people trying to avoid trauma. Also, as someone who will actively stop movies or shows if I don’t know the ending is happy, I always am clear about that as well. Spoilers and proper tagging aren’t mutually exclusive, in my opinion. 

10. Is there any author that inspired you to start writing?

Well... I’ve been writing stories since I was very little, so I’m sure many of my influences have been subconscious ones. However! When Christopher Paolini wrote Eragon, I remember thinking ‘hey if one homeschooled weirdo can do it so can I!” 

11. Was there a fic that made you cry?

Pretty sure everything soft and magical that Phoenix @alienfuckeronmain has ever written has made me cry. Including her recent girl direction fic that I had the absolute honor of cheerleading for. I think about that underpass scene all the goddamn time. Um... Nina @pattern-pals wrote this STUNNING girl direction serpent fic that left me a fucking mess, like it was HOLY and I wanted to run to the nearest cathedral and jump in a vat of holy water and scream into stained glass windows, that type of holy. I *sobbed* myself to sleep reading the end of the world fic (I forget the name, I’ll never read it again, it hurt too badly) you know the classic one. God. Ya. Um, but in the GOOD tears category I absolutely bawled at @crinkle-eyed-boo ‘s While You Were Sleeping AU, and I am usually not a rom com sappy type of person but it hit ALL the right notes and I loved it so fucking much. 

HOLY SHIT THIS IS SO LONG I’M SORRY! Okay 11 Questions. 

1. If you could crawl inside one of your stories and live, which one would it be and why?

2. Is there any imagery you return to again and again?

3. Do descriptions of characters’ clothing factor into your fics a lot, why or why not?

4. Which of your fics would you want adapted to the big screen and why?

5. Are there any place you won’t go with your writing that other’s might think is an usual trigger, i.e. how Indiana Jones hates snakes?

6. Which composer would score your favorite fic and why?

7. Have you ever fallen in love with one of your characters or written a character as a wish-fulfillment perfect partner for yourself? 

8. How do you write accents/dialect differences in your fics? 

9. Do you ever find yourself re-using words/sentences for kissing or smut? How do you avoid repetition? 

10. Which fic author has most touched your soul?

11. If you had to pick only one fic to read over and over again for the rest of your life, what would it be? 

@always-aqua @metal-eye @newleafover @lesbianiconharrystyles @pattern-pals @alienfuckeronmain I’m not sure if you’ve all been tagged yet but I think pretty much EVERYONE else has been, however if you haven’t been consider this your tag and please @ me!!! 

[spacebrick3]

Evenfall University: Ring of Fire Part 4

Part 4 of Mira’s adventures at Evenfall! And things are starting to take an interesting turn, here in @note-katha‘s university, and who knows where it will lead them…

The problem with grand proclamations like “changing the world” is that there’s a lot of groundwork. Everybody knows the leaders of the revolution, but few the ones who build the stage. “So…how do we find the First Circle?” Mira asks awkwardly, waiting outside her dormitory (and missing her class). “I mean, it’s not like we can just go up to a teacher and ask.”

“You’d be surprised,” Sam says, “but…generally better not to. Keeps them at a distance, at the very least. But they rely on their warnings more than any actual security - trust that we’ll listen to the authorities of the school, mostly.”

“What does that mean? Their authority’s pretty solid if there’s no information,” she says, glancing sideways with a frown. The early-morning sunlight shines strangely off of her, a faint translucence to Sam’s skin. Or maybe it’s just a holdover of her aura, the lighter gold over the darker brown giving it that strange effect. “I mean, no one has to guard any of the scrolls from Alexandria because they’re all gone - have they done the same here?”

Sam motions for Mira to follow, one corner of her mouth ticking upwards into a smirk. “No. They’re still in the library. Just sitting there, on the shelves. After all, they wouldn’t destroy the information that helps them, would they?”

“And…we can just pick them up?”

“No, they’re restricted. There’s a spell - it manipulates you, tells you that you don’t really want the books. People turn away and they’re convinced it’s their own reasoning, and they have no idea. After all, put up a wall and everyone will want to break in - make them think they have a choice, and they’ll willingly give up their own knowledge.” She grimaces. “Insidious, really, prying inside your head.”

It doesn’t sound good. She’d like to think she wouldn’t be affected, that she’d be strong enough to break through such a spell, but she can’t even convince herself of that. If it’s even real. Everybody speaks of it as though it’s real, because for them it defines their life, and can she risk otherwise? Can she take the risk of venturing blind into something she knows nothing about?

She doesn’t know. “So…how do we get the books, then, if we can’t even…keep wanting them?”

“Oh, leave that to me,” Sam says. “Because it’s Third Circle magic, manipulating mind and emotion. And that’s a certain speciality of mine - but I do have to be careful, to make sure they don’t know we’re there.”

“You think there’s a warning system or something?”

“I know I’d set up something if my magic was tampered with,” she says with a shrug. “So…Mira. So far you’ve not lent yourself to stealth-“

Stealth. Right. “Yeah. I’ll…leave that one to you, actually.” Mira shakes her head, rubbing her forehead with a rueful grin. “There’s a reason I’m here at Evenfall, a reason it was a good idea for me to be here and not at some normal university. And that reason, or at least all of it you’ll get, is a distinct lack of stealth on my part.”

That gets her a raised eyebrow, but no comment. “I…see. Um.”

“I mean, you don’t have to worry or anything,” she adds, “it’s not like it even made the news. And I’m not planning on trying again, obviously, plus there are less abandoned NASA workshops - well, I thought it was abandoned-“

For whatever reason, that doesn’t seem to reassure her. She pushes open the door of the library, glaring at the single student sprawled in the corner. “Right. The books should be upstairs, on the third floor, directly opposite from where we are now. I assume you know the structure of the library?”

“I’m still new here, Sam.” She looks around, at the old stone drilled into to let cables snake in and out. Lights glow in the ceiling, the filaments gaining the quality of all old libraries - bright, white light fading to yellow, with just enough flicker to make them appear aged. Books covered in velvet and gold, or at least the important ones, others tucked into shelves or stacked on top of them. “I’ve literally never been here before.”

“Oh, yes. Of course. Each floor gets quieter, as you go up - fairly standard, although it’s imbued with its own magic. Fifth Circle and Third Circle, mixed to restrict Voice and Emotion, as well as boost Mind. In a sense. There are several layers, all overlaying one another, and it will be a challenge to break one and not the other.”

You know in movies? When the scientist character says a bunch of what’s supposed to be ‘fancy scientific formulas’ and is really just a bunch of words jammed together? And all the other characters stare blankly and the one Action Hero™ asks ‘speak English’ to general laughter?

That’s what just happened, except with magic. “I…okay…”

“It doesn’t matter,” Sam says. “It’s not your problem. I’ll be the only one heading upstairs, and the only one who has to deal with this. There shouldn’t be anyone in the top floors, not this early. It’ll be your job to keep them out.”

“What?”

“Mind work is delicate, and what we’re doing is very against the rules. If you’ve been breaking into workshops and you’re not in jail, your lying skills are probably better than your stealth. So lie.” Sam picks a book from the shelf, turning it over in her hands. “Make up something, I don’t care what.”

“I thought you said no one was here.” Mira looks around, noting the exactly one (1) student. “I mean, a lot of this is available online - just being on campus wifi gets people access to papers and stuff. We should be fine.�� Except in her dorm, of course, where the wifi runs at the speed of a slug. At 1 fps (frame per slug).

Sam blinks, rubbing her head. “Right. Computers, of course. Then…come with me, kay? You’re still lookout.” The stairs spiral up the outside of the library, glass strips running down their length. They climb together, half in sunlight and half in shadow, Sam frowning at a name scratched into the wall. “That wasn’t here the last time…”

The scratch is in jagged script, the sharp edges of something carved with a knife. Into stone, somehow. Remember Alian, it reads, tucked away in the corner. “Do..you know an Alian?”

“No. Something probably happened to them, though, or it wouldn’t say ‘remember’,” she says, sighing. “Come on, we’re almost there. Can you feel it?”

Her voice is dropping, quieter with each step. “I think so, yeah,” she says, and she’s whispering. “How quiet do we get? Or…are forced to get? Does it quiet us just…all the way?”

“Not quite,” she whispers, “for the people who talk to themselves while studying. But close.” The landing onto the third floor is lined with silver, instead of gold, a colder blue replacing the warm light of downstairs. It’s hardly more modern, with embossed panels set into the wooden wall and shelves of dark mahogany, but certainly colder.

Colder, and hostile somehow. “Maybe we shouldn’t be here,” she says, resting a hand on the door. “It doesn’t feel - I don’t know. But I don’t think-“

“You’re not going any further,” Sam says. “It’s already affecting you, here. Just watch the stairs, make sure nobody gets up here. Say there’s, uh, maintenance or something. Bookkeeping that cannot be disturbed, by even the slightest motion.” She sighs, tapping out a asymmetric rhythm on the wall. “Now…have they changed anything?”

 “You’ve been here before?”

Sam doesn’t answer. “Mind magic is a tricky thing. Sensitive, see. It’s difficult to manipulate from here, no matter what you do. Maybe…it’s a spiderweb, and so any motion on it will disturb the web, no matter how careful.”

“So…what will you do?”

She gives a small smile, though there’s something unrecognizable behind it. “The perks of not being a first-year. There’s some…uh, manipulation of Mind magic you can accomplish. It’s difficult, and dangerous, but it’s the only way to get past. It’s built for a purpose, a specific purpose - to change things in one way, and it can be bypassed.”

And we’re back to the, uh, magical jargon. “That’s not an answer. I asked what you’d do, not how you’d do it.”

“Impatient.” She takes a breath, staring out across the shelves. “Mind magic doesn’t fight itself. It can’t, or it would tear the web apart from the inside. And magic is part of you - you’ve seen the auras, and all it takes is…letting go, I suppose. Separating mind and body, or just putting one above the other.”

“Still not an explanation.”

Sam glares at her. “Just watch.” She takes a breath, then fades, the floor of the library visible through her. The parts of her in the sunlight are barely there, only a faint outline of gold. “Look. Mind over matter, quite literally.”

“I-“ Mira shakes her head, waving a hand through where she stands. “You…feel like syrup?”

“Don’t do that!” she whispers, swatting her hand away. “Would you want someone waving their hand through you?”

“How - what-?”

She makes a show of brushing herself off, still irritated at her. “It’s like…learning to swim, I guess. That’s the only way I can think of it,” she says at last. “But I’ve heard it’s different for everyone who tries it.”

“What do you mean?” she asks, still hopelessly lost.

“When you first learn to swim, you - you’re scared,” she says, shrugging. “You cling to the shore, barely in the water. That’s how most everybody is, clinging to the world. And it’s terrifying to let go, but…if you can…well, if you can let go of the shore, of the world, then…” She gestures at her transparent self. “But stay in shallow waters.”

That’s ominous. “What’s…what’s in deeper waters?”

“Nothing’s there,” she says darkly. “Nothing at all. If you’ve ever been to the sea, you know how it drops off, how the shore falls hundreds of feet to the ocean floor. You stay in shallow waters because otherwise you drown, and there’s no way back. Those are the realms of…of ghosts, of spirits, mostly, the minds who’ve lost all connection with the world.”

“But you still have one.”

Sam scowls. “Yes. Although it’s still scary, letting go. There’s a reason people cling so desperately to the world, and there’s always that fear, that I’ll never be able to get back. That I won’t hold tightly enough to the world and I’ll be lost, falling back into-“ She sighs, breath shaking a little. “Never mind. Just keep watch.”

“I’ll do that.” Sam strides into the library, vanishing as she walks into the sunlit patches. She leaves no footprints, no trace that she’s ever been there. “Wait-“ Mira whispers after her, though it’s much too quiet. “How are you going to carry the books-?”

She’s gone. “Right, then,” she mutters to herself. “…what more can the First Circle give us? She can - she’s like, psychic or something, and Ardis - that is his name, right? - can control time. Apparently.” Mira can’t get closer to the shelves, her own fear that she doesn’t belong there keeping her away. 

Except it’s not her own fear, is it? It’s somebody else’s, manufactured and put into her own head. And she can’t escape it. Mira tells herself it’s not real, and that doesn’t make it any less so. “Get out of my head!” she whispers at it, pacing back and forth on the landing, and it doesn’t.

Maybe that’s what the First Circle does. Maybe it doesn’t do anything but protect her from magic.

It takes exactly 40 minutes and 11 seconds for Sam to return, according to her watch, or enough time for the sun to burn off the last of the fog as it rises. She has a stack of books in her arms, the pages faded to yellow and with dust still thick on the covers. “I got the ones I could,” she says, handing Mira the stack. “The ones that will help you most, anyway.”

“How do you know - how can you tell?” she asks, brushing the dust off one of the titles. The Inner Circles of Magic, it reads, A Comprehensive Guide to Exploring the Second and First Rings. The author is unreadable. “What will be useful and what’s not, I mean?”

“I have my ways,” she says, wincing as she becomes (mostly-, although Mira doesn’t mention it) opaque again. “Probably best to leave, and quickly, too. Come on, you probably already want to-“

She’s not wrong, and Mira hates it. “So what now? We have the books, but…”

“That’s the easy part,” Sam says, shaking her head. “Magic is an art, and - well, any closer to believing in magic?” she asks, almost resignedly. 

Yes. “No.”

“Great. Time for you to become an artist, with colors you can’t see.”

Tag list: @lady-redshield-writes, @no-url-ideas-tho, @ratracechronicler, @ken-kenwrites, @ravenpuffwriter, @cirianne, @lonelylibrary @maxbeewriting, @endlesshourglass, @thebloodstainedquill,  @anip-ocs, @note-katha @dreamwishing, @incandescent-creativity, @fatal-blow, @danafaithwriting, @wri-tten, @writingwhithotchocolate, @katekyo-bitch-reborn, @klywrites and @dogwrites!

(and if you liked this, don’t forget to check out Evenfall University at @note-katha, since it is actually their amazing story and all!)

[incorrectmlpquotes]

My Thoughts on Equestria Girls: Rainbow Rocks

Or: Are we sure this didn’t come out in 2004 rather than 2014? Because the “battle of the bands”  story line feels super dated for some reason. I feel like almost every early 2000s cartoon had some sort of music contest episode, and I never liked them. I blame American Idol for making those popular.

Some History:

I’m under the impression that everything in this movie I dislike is a completely subjective thing that wouldn’t bother someone else. I know that, from a movie standpoint, this is much better than the first, but I just don’t like it as much. Everything that warrants complaint comes from a personal hangup that I have (such as: my lack of any musical ability causes me to not care at all whether their band is successful), so if you disagree, I completely understand. These are all my opinions, and I’m aware that this is probably the best of the four movies. (As stated on a previous post, I haven’t watched any of the shorts from 2017 or 2018 as of this entry)  

There were a series of promotional shorts released before the movie debuted that explains how the members of the Main 5 came to play their instruments in Rainbow Dash’s band, and some other random stuff. Here’s the link to the playlist on youtube. Here’s a quick rundown of what I think:

Music to My Ears : meh

Guitar Centered : funny, but kind of mean spirited

Hamstocalypse Now : Hilarious.

Pinkie on the One : exactly what you’d expect it to be

Player Piano: a masterpiece

A Case for the Bass: Applejack is one word, why would she have AJ embroidered on the strap? I know people call her that but those aren’t her initials

Life is a Runway: There’s a reason they didn’t let Rarity write the songs

Shake Your Tale: Bad.

This was a pretty clever way to establish some musical background within the group without taking up time in the movie. It also is some sneaky foreshadowing with Trixie, which I appreciate.

In the actual movie: My nitpicks are going to be less Why is no one in class? Why is doesn’t anyone have homework? Because I realize this is a movie and depicting high school as it actually is would be boring to watch. Besides, there are plenty of other things to complain about.

We open on a scene of this film’s villains. And yes I am going to refer to them as villains instead of antagonists because 1) they are actually a threat and we see them doing bad things, and 2) other people will serve as antagonists. A villain is different from an antagonist, even though the terms are often used interchangeably. 

The Dazzlings are so cool, they make a cameo four years later. Either this is some really deep foreshadowing, or by season seven the writers were so desperate for an ongoing arc, they looked to other properties. But we now know that the guardians banished them over 1,000 years ago. So they really are ancient magic. And now they have to go to high school. Talk about eternal torment… 

Way to take all the credit, Starswirl

We are shown how they are a sort of siren, who feed off of people’s negativity and discord and use their beautiful enchanted voices to cause mayhem. Kind of like a mix between Ursula the sea witch and Spectra from Danny Phantom. Oh my gosh, this is the second one of these reviews that I’ve brought up Danny Phantom. Maybe this is why Butch thinks he’s so popular.

The Dazzlings, we can infer, have been exiled to the EQG-verse from Equestria. So apparently this universe is like the pony version of colonial Australia, where they send all their criminals and miscreants. A solid plan that couldn’t have any negative repercussions. The sirens see a beam of light that must be the one from the last movie. This is good news for them, but bad news for me because now I have no idea how much time has passed the two films. Has it been a couple days? Weeks? Moons? This will make a difference in regards to why people still don’t trust Sunset. But why waste time setting up the story when we can get right into the remix title card?

At this point, I can only assume that principal Celestia threatened to expel students if they told the news or the FBI about the magical winged demon that attacked the school, because no one seems too concerned about that incident.

But they have plenty of time to hurt my baby’s feelings

I’m going to be honest, when I first watched EQG I thought that Sunset was faking her remorseful act after being defeated. As cool as that would have been, she makes a much better reformed bad guy than an antagonist, because she really wasn’t in the last movie that much.

List of “evil” things Sunset Shimmer has done: send fraudulent text messages and emails that honestly could have been pretty easily disproved, made fun of Fluttershy, made fun of the steamers in the gym, somehow divided the school into cliques, ran a mostly unsuccessful smear campaign against Twilight’s bid for dance princess, threatened to destroy the portal to Equestria, transformed into a demon to hypnotize the students, and she dissed the Apple cider. 

Ok, that last one is pretty evil. But what really makes this and all subsequent movies great is that we get to see her learn and grow and change from the experience into a real friend.

I am glad to see that the Main 5 have forgiven her, but no one is quite ready to absolve her of guilt. Like, I might not think she did all that much bad junk, but the students of Canterlot High seem to think she was one tier below Mussolini  in terms of maniacal dictators, so I don’t blame them for being cautious. It takes a lot to earn back trust.

Back in Equestria proper, the Mane six plus Spike are sitting around waiting for the plot to affect them. They kindly provide some exposition and once again setup the fact that only Twilight can go through the portal, because the others can’t interact with themselves. So we think. I will be bringing this up when we get to The Friendship Games.

Back through the portal, Twilight  gets looped into the fact that Sunset has changed her ways. It’s fair to be a little apprehensive to trust someone who, the last time you saw them, was an actual literal demon. (Don’t worry though, Twi, you’ve still got two more unicorns to reform. It’s kind of your thing.)

Don’t reject her love Twilight, it’s all I have to live for

And now it’s time to discuss the small blue elephant in the room. I feel like I really need to explain why I dislike the addition of Flash to any of the plots. He’s kind of a waste of a potential. You want to add a male character: fine. But make them an actual real fleshed-out character. The show has proven that they can do it and do it well. Sunburst and Thorax are great characters who feel like a good addition to the story. And we got a real sense of who they were in one or two twenty minute episodes. I have no clue what this guy’s purpose is except to be a love interest, and this is not the show to do that with. With very few exceptions, the main characters of MLP have not sought out romantic partners, Twilight included. Why would she choose to do so now? I mean, I get why he’s into Twilight: she’s taken the form of a cute teenage girl. But he’s a species that doesn’t even exist in Equestria. She just fell through a portal and instantly got the hots for some weird otherworldly creature…

Wait a minute. Wait just a minute. Perhaps this isn’t compulsory heterosexuality. Perhaps Twilight Sparkle is just a Monster Lover™. I can respect that.

Moving on.

It was so very smart of the writers to have the Dazzlings brainwash the principals in order to get away with this scheme. That makes so much more sense and covers any plot holes that could arise (such as, someone claiming to be a new student despite having no transcript, no grades, and no knowledge of how to hold a pen).

Does time work differently between these two universes? Has it been months in Equestria but only a week in this world? (It really threw me off that the first four season of MLP took place over one year, and these movies don’t help that). And the sad thing is, this could be easily hand-waved away by a single throw away line, but it isn’t.

The Dazzlings are already better villains than Sunset, even from a character standpoint. We know their powers, we know their motivation, and we know they are capable of bringing about an actually believable rift between friends.

Then the best song, best montage, and possibly best scene in any of these films happen: the Dazzling come into the lunchroom and hypnotize everyone. This song is beautiful and eerie and exactly what you would expect a magic spell to sound like. I also enjoy the visual representation of the bands competing (and not just because I didn’t want to hear any of them perform) that we’ll see later. To give credit where credit is due, this movies has some great visual sequences.

Give ‘em the o’l razzle dazzle

At first I thought it was unrealistic that this many kids had bands, but I realized it was probably an effect of the spell. But I might not be the best judge: I think I know maybe three people, plus myself, who don’t play an instrument. I’ll just assume that the Disney channel exists in this universe, and all these children just really want to be famous.

It’s worth sitting through this movie just to see everyone’s pajamas. That’s not weird, right? No really, the scene of them all having a big slumber party is everything I ever wanted from this series. They managed to capture everyone’s personality from an article of clothing. Now THAT’s good character design.

I get the distinct impression that the writers of this don’t like Rainbow Dash.

Oh good, references to technology that couldn’t possibly date this movie in the slightest. Wait… this is Pinkie’s house. Aren’t the Pies supposed to be like Amish or resembling Amish-type folk? What is the human equivalent of rock farmers? Not actual farmers because those exist in the pony-verse. This really confuses me, but Maude’s cameo is fantastic.

The scene with Twilight and Sunset is one of those really well-done moments that reminds me why I love the show so much. It feels really genuine, and supports my argument that it was worth having Sunset as a crappy villain just to reform her.

Ah yes, the sweet, lingering glances that totally platonic female friends share with each other late at night. I know them well.

Our girl Twily seems to be having trouble writing a spell that can double as a catchy pop song (She’s no Lana Del Rey), so they go with an old set list. How long has this band been operational? Weren’t they in a huge feud for several years?

Mac is a close second for best cameo

So we get to watch the band audition, and it goes about as well an actual high school talent show. The CMC are in the outfits from Showstoppers (which is hilarious) and Snips and Snails rap (which is disturbing). In order to keep my goblin brain from exploding while trying to figure out the ages of everyone, I’m just going to assume that this is a combination Middle School and High School. So, if Sunset won fall dance princess four years in a row, she would be in the tenth grade now, so they would be about 15-16. The Equestria Girls Holiday Comic shows Rarity driving a car, so that could be a possibility.

A. Daft. Punk. Reference. Wow. Just wow. (Note: this was more shocking before season five, when there was a character that was basically Lady Gaga. And by basically, I mean very obviously Lady Gaga. Remember when the pop culture references in this show were subtle?)

Dash’s song is quite possibly the most cringeworthy thing I have ever heard. The only defense is it does sound like something a high schooler would write.

On that note, why is Rainbow Dash the lead singer of the group? I mean, I know why, but WHY? (and yes, I am aware that her voice actress is a singer. But Ashleigh Ball uses her normal voice when she performs. Think back to all the songs RD has sung in the previous four seasons before this aired. There are not a lot of solos or high notes. When she sings as Applejack, it is beautiful, but Dash’s voice is grating sometimes)

Really? A battle of the bands is the greatest thing you’ve done at the school? That whole “stopping an actual demon with magic” was just a regular Friday for you? I’ll chalk that up to the brainwashing, otherwise I might go full on rage and throw my laptop out a window.

I guess our merry band of protagonists weren’t paying attention to big cafeteria scene, because they just now figured something suspicious is going on.

Still haven’t fixed the lights in that dim corner of lockers. Fortunately, there are many dramatic confrontations to be had.

I think we’re supposed to see Rarity’s obsession with the outfits as a ridiculous thing, but I think it’s important to distinguish this universe from the one with the professional seamstress who has unicorn magic at her disposal. This is a teenager who has school, extracurriculars, and parents to contend with. If I went through the trouble to hand-make seven costumes for my friends, then found out no one would wear them, I’d be pretty ticked off as well.

Now this is how you montage. We get to play a fun game of “guess which characters are in which band,” and seeing their “humanized” designs. Lotta bootcut pants in this show.

I’m just going to leave this here...

This is some actually effective villainy. The whole school has turned against each other. Maybe they need to learn about the magic of friendship. Unfortunately, the gang is too busy squabbling over band stuff, and Twilight is too distracted to give an overly emotional speech.

No one in the rule book does it say magically turning into a pony is grounds for disqualification...I would assume.

If we’re being honest here, the Dazzlings are better performers than the Rainbooms.

And we’ve come to the crux of things. The scene where they’re locked under the stage is the perfect example of my biggest issue with this movie. I do not like to see Mane 6 fight. I don’t like Trade Ya, I don’t like Putting Your Hoof Down, and I despise Look Before You Sleep. Seeing this otherwise close group of friends constantly have petty arguments, even if it’s for completely valid plot reasons, make me want to turn the movie off. This isn’t a criticism of the screenwriting, it is just a reason why I personally dislike Rainbow Rocks more than the other films.

Of course, they make up because this is about the magic of friendship and what not, but notice how no one actually apologizes for their behavior. No, “I’m sorry that I minimized your contribution to the group or made fun of something you were passionate about.” I realize they were under the influence of magic, but they also knew that! They knew the Dazzlings had the power to turn people against each other! An apology is just a preamble to fundamental behavior change, and if they don’t realize why they were being bad friends, how can they learn from anything?

And the real kicker is, they knew what the Dazzlings were capable of. Twilight read a book about them immediately before going through the portal. It’s not they they just learned that they spread chaos. Why are we fighting? Gee, I don’t know.

DJ-ex-machina. I’m ok with this.

To the movie’s credit, the finale really has one of the best song of the movie. And by that, I of course mean Trixie’s song. Trixie is the most fun addition to the cast. She makes for a fun antagonist, on her own and as a Pawn to the Dazzlings.

Fight scene! Fight scene! We’re gonna have a fight scene!

Now that they’ve put their petty squabbles behind them, it’s time for a big music battle. The Dazzlings pony up harness the energy of the audience to project their Equestrian selves to...I don’t know. Take over the world or something.

This isn’t even their final form

Oh. This design looked better in book form

Sunset is Magic. That’s the show.

So the stones auto-tuned them, and that made everyone mindlessly antagonistic. I’m sure there’s some clever commentary there.

T’was the magic of friendship that killed the beast.

No, you don’t get to just rejoin the plot

Thank you, Trixie.

The real story here is how Principal Celestia will pay off the press.

Thus Twilight goes back to the land of horses, Starlight has been truly forgiven, and my Netflix suggestions will never been the same again.

I want to give a big shout out to the person who put all the captions on the image gallery for this movie’s wikia page. They are funnier than I could ever hope to be.

Some general thoughts:

The scene of Twilight awkwardly yelling “Friendship is magic!” to a room of confused teenagers is the cringiest thing I’ve ever seen, but it got a good laugh out of me. Look at the Dazzlings faces in this scene. “Ok, we legitimately didn’t see that coming.”

One of the reasons that I am so drawn to the show is that they are able to create conflict and drama without being mean-spirited. I have to deal with that kind of nonsense so much in my daily life, I just don’t want to subject myself to eighty minutes of it. But i get it: from a narrative standpoint, this is the most cohesive. There’s some good set up and pay off, and an actually intimidating villain who is actually present in the plot.

I love Trixie so much, I should be dead. She really is the star of the show. I forgot how little we saw of her before season six.

The stinger, oh the stinger. Forget what I said about the pajama party; it was worth sitting through this for the promise of an interesting sequel.

We’ll get to you soon, you marvelous lesbian disaster.

Starlight’s redemption is the best part of this franchise, and it’s worth all the nonsense to hear Rebecca Shoichet’s angelic voice.

From a purely film standpoint, this is probably the best one of the bunch. It has a clear structure, everyone’s motivations check out, there’s an actual climax that feels earned. I just don’t enjoy it. There are worse ways to spend eighty minutes 3.7/5

The worst thing to come from this, however, is the terrifying merchandise:

What Fresh Hell is This?

[wickednerdery]

Title: FrostBitten: Ice Cream Author: @wickednerdery Fandom: Marvel Pairing/character: Jotun!OC x Reader (& Loki) Rating: Teen Summary: “Just show me a sundae.” Notes: This is a series/multi-chapter fic - Masterlist Here. Ulfr is a Frost Giant, more clearly so than Loki, and “played” by Lee Pace. This piece is more Ulfr and the Reader, but Loki does show up. The whole thing in general is dark, but this one is actually pretty tame, even sorta fluffy…For consistency and its length it still gets a “Read More” though, haha!

You watch him warily. He’s not overtly threatening, he didn’t root for his turn with you like the others that first night, but there’s something not quite right about Ulfr either. If Loki’s too intense, he’s too erratic. He’s apathetic, then annoyed, now seemingly delighted as he stuffs large spoonfuls of ice cream into his mouth.

“Is...is that all you want?”

“Hmm?” Red eyes glow curiously.

“You don’t...want it...in a bowl, maybe?

He swallows. “You people are almost as fussy as Asgardians.”

“Maybe we just don’t want our ice cream melting all over the place?”

“Is the ice cream melting?”

Now that he mentioned it... “Well, no.”

“Then don’t worry about it.” He stuffs more in his mouth, gives a moan that borders on obscene.

You shift on your stool, play your body into the angles of it. “You, um...you don’t want it in a sundae?” Given his love of the food, he seemed the type.

“Sunday?” He chuckles. “I eat it every day.”

“No, um...” you try not to laugh as you spell it out. “Sundae, it’s uh...” You smile. “Can I show you?”

Ulfr shrugs. “Go for it.” Continues eating.

“Well, don’t eat it all!” You laugh, reach for the tub, only to have him tense slightly. You pause, watch him crimson-eyeing you back. “Are you...scared of me?”

The easy smile returns. “You’re half my size.”

“That’s a bit of an exaggeration.” Your lips curve. “And doesn’t mean you aren’t scared.”

“Just show me a sundae.”

Still smiling you pull items from the refrigerator and cabinets, whatever you think might work for toppings. You set them across the counter before grabbing two bowls. “So...” you settle onto the stool beside him. “What you do is -”

He immediately grabs and tosses the bowls into the sink. “Get on with it.”

You sigh, press on. “Just...add whatever you want to the ice cream. Chocolate sauce, caramel, butterscotch, peanuts, candies, whipped cream.”

“And?”

“And that’s it. That’s a sundae”

He laughs, pouring everything into the ice cream carton.

You can’t help but laugh as well, more when the man stuffs a massive portion of the mixture in his mouth. There’s an unmistakable, deep, growl of enjoyment as he savors the first bite. He swallows hard and growls into another. “Mmm...” he licks lips after another swallow, you copy without realizing. “Genius.”

“Genius?“

“This...” he grins. “This is genius! Who would have thought...only Midgardians.” He chuckles. “Have some.”

“Uh...” you’d forgotten one hunger for another. “Yeah.” You grab a spoon and dig in. This time you’re the one watched and he makes no efforts to hide the keen stare. It should scare you, the intensity of it, but fear isn’t what bubbles up. It’s closer to aroused insecurity. What’s he thinking? Does he like what he sees? Does he even care or is he just playing nice on Loki’s orders? You smile, swallow. “Good.”

“Genius.”

You watch him eat, start to pick up details beyond his eyes. Lines the color of faded-denim too distinct to be veins that decorate his body, his face. The chill that comes off him like an open freezer. His maintained hold on the ice cream unless you go for a bite. Those leather gloves still, always, on. “Can I...ask you something?”

He shrugs as he eats.

“What are you?”

Ulfr has been getting that question since his arrival on Midgard, but yours is somehow different. It holds interest rather than fear. Red eyes soften into yours, he smiles. “What do you think I am?” It’s meant to be cocky, playful, but hits your ears as almost...shy?

“Well, um...I don’t know.” You laugh nervously, not wanting to offend in a guess. “I mean, it’s not a stretch to say you’re from another planet, right?” He blinks, leans in with interest. "But you’re not, um, from Asgard...You’re not like Thor or Loki. You’re big...cold. You make, keep, things cold.” You nod to the ice cream, his smile turns impressed. “Are you a god too?” Your understanding was that Thor and Loki both were...or at least as close to gods as can exist. “Like, an ice god or something?”

His small smile blooms wide; seeing the potential awe in your eyes he wants to tell you he is, but in the end goes with the truth. “I’m from Jotunheim, my people are known as Jotuns...or Frost Giants.”

“That explains your size,” you smile as pieces start to fit into place. “Is...Is that why this place is an ice castle from the outside? Why it’s always wintery now?” Maybe you should be terrified, but all you are is fascinated as you move in closer. “Is it to remind you of home?”

This time he’s the one shifting, only it’s back as you strike on a bit of truth he’d rather you didn’t. Yes, he misses home, of course he does, but there’s nothing left for him there. “It’s to keep those who might attack docile and away from here...And it’s what we do when we take over a planet. Make it more suitable for us.”

Part of you knows all too well how many are dying on the streets due to the bitter cold, a cold of his making...The rest of you is pathetically fascinated. “What else can you do?”

Despite all efforts to hide, control, his Jotun nature there’s something genuine to your interest that makes Ulfr want to show you...to show off. He stands, pulls gloves off, and you see the dull blue lines creating Vs between his fingers before continuing on as roping vines.

You stand, eyes widening in awe, as he cups hands together and they go blue. Deep blue, those crisscrossing lines lifting into ridges, before one hand slowly lifts off the other. In his palm is a small, transparent, four-legged creature. You lean in closer to see it’s made completely of ice. You grin up at him. “Is that a wolf?”

“Ulfr...” there’s a softness mixed into his relaxed nature. “It means Wolf so...” he shrugs. “Wanna see it move?”

“It can move?”

He doesn’t answer, only runs a finger from his other hand across the creature’s back, giving it frost for fur before it begins to shift, settle into a pouncing position before jumping up to attention and barking mutely.

“Oh my god, that’s awesome!” You can’t even pretend it isn’t, that you’re not impressed, amazed; it’s like nothing you’ve seen before. It’s something out of a Tim Burton movie, bizarre and fantastical and beautiful. You reach out to touch, to pet, but suddenly Ulfr closes his hand on the critter.

“No.”

“Sorry,” you frown, deeper as he backs away. “...I just...”

“I wouldn’t get too close to him, my dear.” Loki’s sneering causes you to jump and he laughs. “Have you ever seen a severely frostbitten hand? It’s not a pretty sight, I assure you.” A too-bright smile appears. “Quite a sweet scene you two make. Almost...romantic.”

You can feel the heat of your face, know you should look Loki defiantly in the eye, but haven’t the ability. Instead your eyes furtively go to Ulfr - gloves back on, face dulled - then down.

Loki breathes dark amusement. “Are you enjoying yourself, my bold little pet?”

As if the words themselves remind you, trigger that desire still unsatisfied, you feel your body reignite. The raw need for release returns, intensifies. It’s like you can feel Loki, his fingers between your thighs, at clit, brushing ever so slightly. Teasing, drawing to the edge once more. Deep breath in, slow exhale, and you answer. “I’m just...enjoying ice cream.”

“Yes, I see that.” His eyes rake over your form, setting off sparks. “But there’s more than just ice cream to be enjoyed...Shall I show you?”

“I, uh...” Desperately want to...so desperately you don’t. He’s playing with you, you know it. It doesn’t change the desires, just increases the urge to fight it.

“Come here...Now.”

There’s a new chill from Ulfr, a shutting down, even as he closes in. “What are you waiting for?” Eyes well tears as Ulfr backs up once again, shifts attention away and to his ice cream sundae.

You guess you were right, he was just being nice. Entertaining you until Loki wanted you again. You take a defeated breath and head towards Loki. What else is there to do?

This actually turned out way sweeter than I expected (outside the end, lol), which is nice I suppose. Brings some balance to the darkness before and the darkness to come, haha! I think Ulfr indulges the reader, kinda starts to like her, because her interest in him is genuine, pure, and not tied to a fear of him. Don’t worry, Loki will be in a significant portion of the next piece...and I’m sure he’ll do something terrible, haha! 😉

(Gif made by me via two gifs I found on Google.)

Tagged:  @welcome-to-fangirl-hell @chibiyanai @wadeyouwitch @creedslove @lady-crowned-with-stars @moonfaery @annievvv7  @ladyfluff @holykryptonitekitten @lokilvrr @janebrownnie @lokis-little-kitten @alexakeyloveloki @theangelsfightwithdevils @the-blue-tiefling @lokis-lady-death @dangertoozmanykids101 @prometheasmother @vethrvolnir  @wintertink  @amethyst-dreams-and-candy-canes ...…I think I got everyone, if you want on or off the list, just lemme know!!

[divagonzo]

HI, its me again with the ? about eyebrows and how shes rude to people. on your blog again 2 vent. I DON'T UNDERSTAND PEOPLE WHO TRY TO JUSTIFY THE BOOK RELATIONSHIPS AND/OR CHARACTERS, usually y harry/hermione ACTUALLY(hah) MAKES SENSE OR HOW DRACO IS A REDEEMABLE BADBOY(lol) or why draco and hermione should b together despite them never really EVER having a conversation. also he's a nazi?? sooo. AND THEN THEY SOURCE THE FILMS?????? how can people be so wilfully ignorant and unbelievably stupid

Evenin’ Nonnie. Biscuit?

I will take these one at a time, just for my own sorting and all. Might as well get comfortable since this might take a spell.

For the first bit, where people try and justify The Chosen one with The Bookworm, I think much of it is a trope, where the Hero gets The Girl (And for many stories, this is the case. It just didn’t happen in this one.

Those who ship such? Sure. NP. But please stay in your lane. (like one of the wonderful mods for @smutty-claus whom I adore and is incredible.) I’ve read plenty of this particular ship and for various reasons, I don’t see it personally (much of it coming down to personalities but also how each copes with trauma and how that could affect a romantic partner) but then there are plenty who read the same things and would disagree with me. I even have a dear friend of mine who has written Golden Trio fic and I like how he makes the dynamics work and also plausible. (I won’t mention who but @nightfalltwen knows who I am talking about!) I could read their stories time and time again. (Oh right, I have.)

This friend also said that I am the only writer who they will read Ron & Hermione together, because I have both of them flawed and also working together. To me, that is an outstanding compliment.

I think what sticks in my incisors the most is that when I come across a fic of The Chosen One and The bookworm in a romantic relationship, Ron is utterly discounted, bashed, and otherwise trashed in it and that bothers me. Alas, instead of being a tosser and whining, I nope out and go about my day/weekend.

Ah, the Ferret. Yes, I do find it disheartening where so many fall and believe the trope of “the girl saves the asshole boy from his own bad choices” which I disagree with completely because it’s not her job to take responsibility for him. He’s his own (eventual) man and can be responsible for his own decisions. I’ve written fic involving him but also a few steps on his redemption path - which I see is his own journey and not the responsibility of anyone to make him do it.

When I see Darko, I’m immediately reminded of this:

Source: Rare Historical Photos

Everything he did up to that point (say, before his sixth year) has been focused on prejudice, bigotry, genetic superiority, and being a git x 100. I can’t think for a moment that he didn’t participate in such atrocities, such as disposing of prisoners, tormenting those for information, or other nefarious actions. I do think that he was thrown in above his head and realized that, “Oh, shit. I’m in way too deep!” and secondly realized, “Fuck, I’m in deep trouble. Help?”

There was zero contrition on his part to not continue to advocate for the side in question, even after he was rescued in the RoR and nearly immolated and owed his life to Harry - and still turned around and betrayed them (or attempted to before Ron punched him in the nose.)

For actual redemption? He’d have to do it himself (it’s a personal responsibility and not a saving grace, even if he was included in it) and work towards being a better man. No one can make him change. He has to want it himself and work on it himself.

I find it personally distasteful, as a trope, where the girl saves the bigoted boy from his own bad choices. It’s not her responsibility to save him with her lurv.

Do I think he did redeem himself somewhat at some point? Yes, I do. Do I think it’s a saint now, 19 years later? No. Some bells can’t be unrung. He has to live with the fact that he tried to kill multiple people (and failed only by sheer dumb luck) but that’s the absolutely most minimum bar set for being a human.

And those actions are why I personally think that Ron and Hermione would never forgive him and would be civil and polite only for their children’s sake. Harry’s welcome to participate in radical forgiveness but expecting people to forgive you when you’ve stood aside and let ish go down, up to and including attempted murder…. and I couldn’t do it.

So to say he’s a bad boy with a heart of gold… I see it as being toxic romanticism and not seeing that as anything but fantasy will get girls (and some boys) hurt long-term.

Ah, yes. The ship I find distasteful. (it’s not a NOTP of mine but I will nope out of anything related since I find it squicky but won’t torment anyone over it. I find others more…. deserving of my ire.

As I mentioned above, I see that particular trope as being toxic in many ways. Yes, he’s considered a wizarding Fascist and a class 1 bigot. I cannot fathom how someone could see that quality of a person making it a romantic story with him and The Bookworm. I personally can’t, at least in the time frames that everyone writes in.

Why?

Hermione isn’t one to be very… forgiving of anyone who betrays her friends. This includes Harry and Ron (and others.) The only ones that I do see her actively forgiving (in actions but not words) are Ron and Harry (and maybe Ginny, off- page.) She is so damn stubborn that I can’t see her ever muttering the words I’m sorry unless it’s an absolute last resort. (Oh wow, that is me in a nutshell still. I digress.)

I don’t see her being content being a stay at home wife making babies. I don’t see her being content to be put on a pedestal and shown off - and then shoved aside when it’s not convenient. I don’t see her content being the doting wife, quiet in public and only fierce in private.

The writing of enemies to lovers fails this one completely because of the distinct differences is core beliefs. Hate s*x? Sure. That’s about it, if that.

If.

Finally, films. I will be forever salty over them and how fucked up Uncle Steve cocked them up. His atrocious writing and arrogance in thinking he could make the story better earns a kick in his shins and arse for fucking up such an incredible story (even if there are problematic elements involved.)

I think that Tom Felton is a sweetie and the early crushes that Eyebrows McGee had been cute but using personal chemistry and not character chemistry boggles me greatly. The movies aren’t canon but Uncle Steve’s fanfiction made into movies loosely based on the books (kinda like the bourne identity was just the book titles and little to no relation to the books themselves.)

Sadly, it seems that most people don’t have the attention span for reading a book and rather rush through a 2-hour movie and be done with it, as a passive viewer/consumer than actively reading for comprehension. I can’t make people look at canon and go, Hey, the movie got that wrong repeatedly.

I can yell into the void for years and not make a dent. So I don’t try that much unless asked.

[doomandgloomfromthetomb]

Interview with Joe Pernice — 2005

Sunday Interview with PERNICE. There’s been a bunch of 1998 music chatter lately, but for my money, the Pernice Brothers’ Overcome By Happiness should be dominating all such chatter. Anyway, this talk took place a few years later ...

Over the past decade, Joe Pernice has established himself as one of the most reliably great songwriters of his generation. From his days in the not-so-alt-country collective, the Scud Mountain Boys, to side-trips into the Chappaquiddick Skyline, to his ongoing role as frontman for the Pernice Brothers, Joe's stirring storytelling skills and his distinctive way with a gorgeous melody have remained firmly in place. The Pernice Brothers began life as an orch-pop project, but the band's last two records, 2003's Yours, Mine & Ours and this year's Discover A Lovelier You, see them taking their cues from such '80s luminaries as the Smiths, New Order and Echo & the Bunnymen. Whatever direction Pernice takes his music in, the results are always worth hearing. He chatted with Junkmedia from his hometown of Holbrook, Mass.

At your recent show in Denver, you encored with "Doll On A Music Box," a song from [the semi-obscure mid-60s flying car movie starring Dick Van Dyke] "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang." I was curious as to how you chose that song to cover.

On the tour for the last record, we used that soundtrack as opening music, and we decided to work it into our set. We're just fans of it. We actually recorded a version of it in Europe a little while ago. We had been doing these kind of heavier covers -- stuff like New Order and the Pretenders -- and we thought we should do something a little more low-key. James [Walbourne] my piano player, was going through a heavy spell of listening to that soundtrack, as well as the "Willie Wonka" soundtrack. Those records are just unbelievable -- there's no irony there in our covering that song.

I was surprised to see that Thom Monahan (bassist/co-producer) was missing from your touring lineup. Where'd he go?

He's taking a leave. We've been together for 10 years now, but he recently moved out to L.A., got married and has been working on a bunch of different recording projects. He just needed a break. We haven't made any big decisions, it's just that he had been working with some other bands, and it turned out that if he came out on tour with us, he'd have something like a single day off in between.

Like you said, you and Thom have been making records together for ten years. Why is he such a good collaborator for you?

[Pause] I don't know. [Laughs] We just hit it off. We've been working together since the second Scud Mountain Boys record in 1994, I think. We're both pretty headstrong guys, but we've learned how to not let things escalate if there are arguments in the studio. And there are arguments. But all of the guys I work with, we like working long hours. It's just fun for us. [Guitarist] Peyton [Pinkerton] and James, those guys would stay in the studio forever if they could. Time goes by so quick in there -- it'll feel like two hours and it'll actually be nine hours. Even when it's a pain in the ass, it's still fun.

Can you imagine making a record without Thom?

Oh, sure. It would be different, but I think different can be good. There are a lot of good people to record with out there. The more musicians I meet, I find that there are more people who are like us -- people who love to spend a lot of time in the studio. I haven't given it too much thought, but a change could be good. As a songwriter, it might be a good thing to have a little change.

From the liners, it looks as though you recorded the new album all over the place.

Yeah, we did some tracking in New York when Thom and I were both living there and then I did some on my own in Boston and Toronto and then we finished it up in Los Angeles.

Was it challenging to make a record in such a piecemeal fashion?

It wasn't a problem. It's good to get away from it sometimes. I think if we had done it all in one place, I still would've wanted to have the breaks that we had because of moving. Having some time off from a record can give you some space, some perspective on it.

The other mainstay in the band is Peyton Pinkerton, who's played on all the Pernice Brothers records. How'd you originally hook up with him?

We were all living in Northampton at the time. I was in grad school and Peyton had his band the New Radiant Storm Kings. It's really a kind of small town, so everybody sort of knows everybody. When I was putting together the first Pernice Brothers record, I asked him to come along and it's evolved from there.

It seems as though he's taken a more prominent role on the last two records. Do you pretty much give him free reign in the studio, in terms of guitar parts?

Sometimes. It's both. Sometimes there'll be a set idea I have for a guitar part. I'm a hack at best on guitar - no matter how much I practice, I'll just never be that good at guitar. I can hear guitar parts, but I can't play 'em. So I'll hum a part to Peyton, or I'll say "Can you do something like this?" And he can play it and change it a little and make it better. But he'll show up with a lot of ideas, too, so it's both. There's a lot of editing and forming that goes on in the studio.

Is it safe to say that a song on the new record like "Amazing Glow" -- with its mentions of changing cities and lifestyles -- is autobiographical? Or do you shy away from that sort of songwriting?

Oh no. Most everything that I've ever written comes from a real event or thing. But I try to step back from it at some point. I try to see what's the better story I can tell, even if it's not necessarily true. It's fun to see where a song can go, just to step back and let it take a left turn, regardless of what really happened or not.

Personally, I think it'd be pretty boring if I was just up there spouting the truth all the time. But that particular song did come out of something real and true. And it probably is true.

Another song from the new record, "My So-Called Celibate Life" -- is that your commentary on Los Angeles? (Sample lyric: "All the stars out in disguise / Look at all the money that money buys.")

Yeah, it's something I finished while I was out there. It's crazy, you go out to eat at a diner or something there and literally everyone there is working on a script or a project or something. I don't know if I was just going to places that were script workshop places, or what?

Have you caught some of that bug yourself? I was just reading that you're working on a script based on your novella (Meat Is Murder, a fictionalized memoir centered around the titular Smiths album).

Yeah, I've been working on a script for that with someone for about a year. It's getting pretty close to finished. But I'm not interested in selling the script. The plan is to produce it in a real DIY kind of way. It's almost done, and the hope is that early next year, we'll turn up the heat in terms of organizing the whole thing.

So you've got a book of poetry, a novella and now a film script. Can you foresee a time when these concerns might take precedence over music?

If I start to enjoy those things more, sure. I really take the path of least resistance. If sitting around alone in my house writing a book is more fulfilling than making music with people, than that's what I'll do. I just have to go with what I love.

We mentioned the Scud Mountain Boys earlier. It's been a decade since you put out those records. How do you view that band and that era?

I haven't listened to the records in a long time. The last time I did, I remember thinking they sounded pretty good. It was a really brief burst, when I think about it now. We put out three records in about two and a half years, maybe less than that. More like 15 months. But I think we made three good albums, we made our stamp. It was an exciting period. I felt I had hit upon something really good in terms of songwriting. I wrote most of those songs really quickly, in a matter of months, I think, with a few exceptions. I was writing a ton of songs back then, because I had just started really writing and taking time with it. It was just a really inspiring time. And everything started happening really quickly.

What's funny is that back then I was going through a heavy Jimmy Webb thing, and I had just started listening to Nick Drake and Burt Bacharach, too. So even though those early records have some undeniably country elements, that had a little more to do with the set up of the band, with pedal steel and mandolin taking such prominent roles. In fact, I remember the two records I listened to the most around that time might have been Dinosaur Jr's Green Mind and [Guided By Voices'] Bee Thousand.

Yeah, I was listening to Massachusetts recently and though the knee jerk reaction to that record would be to label it "alt-country," there were a lot of songs that didn't really fit into that category at all.

Yeah, I mean, going back to Jimmy Webb -- he's known for his country hits with Glen Campbell, like "Wichita Lineman" and "By The Time I Get To Phoenix." But you listen to those songs, and they're not country at all. They just happen to be set in Texas or something. They're insane. They don't really have any of the trappings that we think of as "country." They're so damn complex and a lot of times they don't have any choruses! They just go on and on without choruses. And they're amazing.

[enchantedxrose]

Creating Believable Romance: Things Writers Can Learn from Beauty and the Beast (1991)

It always makes me laugh when Hollywood has these two hour films made for adults in which I feel like I know nothing about the cardboard romantic leads or why they even care about each other, when Disney’s little ninety minute family movie manages to develop much more believable chemistry. 

So how did they do it? What can writers learn from this movie about how to create a believable romance in their own stories?

I’m mostly going to focus on the animated film because A) it did this story first, and B) it has such a short run time and yet takes advantage of every moment to create a well-paced, well-developed relationship between the titles characters. (There is one thing that the live action movie added that I will touch on eventually, though.)

1) Establish your romantic leads as characters first, with distinct personalities. It helps if they have clear goals and interests.

This might seem obvious, but so many mainstream romance movies and stories have bland characters. 

On the other hand, before Belle and the Beast ever meet, we the audience have a strong sense of who they are as individuals and are interested to see what happens to them. The Beast is a tragic figure, dramatic, sullen, insecure, selfish, but still sympathetic in his shame and self-loathing. We see that there is the possibility for character growth in him. Belle gets a whole damn musical number developing her character: she’s sweet and kind, but also a bit of an oddity in her town, sort of scatterbrained like her inventor father, a prolific reader in a time when it was weird for peasant women to be well read. Most of all, she is lonely and yearns “to have someone understand.”

So basically, the audience can see some possible trajectories for their character arcs. Each of them lack something that the other could provide: not only could Belle be the one to break the spell, she could inject some brightness and humor into the Beast’s melancholy life; the Beast could be the sympathetic, understanding companion that Belle needs. They could find some common ground together in their feelings of being an outcast from society.

The audience can see all this. But the characters, at first, do not. Which brings me to my next point.

2) Don’t just jump from Point A to Point B; let us see how their relationship changes.

Ah, yes, it’s the classic Pride and Prejudice romance trope, where the romantic leads dislike each other when they first meet. It was a pretty popular formula in the 90s. I’m not saying it should be used in every romance plot (it would get pretty boring after a while), but there’s a reason it became so popular.

Here’s the main reason why it works particularly well in Beauty and the Beast: they have good reasons not to get along well at first (not based on contrived misunderstandings), and they have good reasons to eventually change their minds about each other. The Beast imprisoned her father and she bargained away her freedom--I’d say that’s a valid enough reason to dislike someone--but it’s ultimately his childish, unkind behavior toward her that makes her avoid him. 

On the other hand, the Beast seems to think Belle is being stubborn and contrary out of spite and resents her for it. And he makes assumptions right off the bat about her attitude toward him (“she’ll never see me as anything but a monster”--blaming his appearance when really it’s his behavior she doesn’t like).

I think Disney learned from Snow White and Sleeping Beauty that it’s more interesting to let your audience see characters’ attitudes evolve toward each other, instead of jumping right into the infatuation stage. (And I’m not throwing shade on those movies, I just think Disney started telling more complex stories by the Renaissance, at least as far as princess movies are concerned.) 

Besides, with this fairy tale, it doesn’t make sense for Belle and the Beast to fall in love at first sight. 

The big “ice breaking” moment between Belle and the Beast is their conversation after he rescues her from the wolves. It’s arguably the most important scene in the film. In just a bit of dialogue, it accomplishes the following: 

A) assures the audience that Belle is not going to tolerate being treated poorly

B) shows that she is no longer afraid of the Beast

C) opens the Beast’s eyes to his own flaws in such a way that he can’t deny or escape them

 D) establishes some grudging mutual respect between Belle and the Beast, maybe even a tentatively friendly relationship.

Even before we see the rest of the movie, we can tell this is going to be a turning point of some kind. But there’s a few more things this movie has to show us before we can believe Belle’s confession and the magical transformation...

3) Let us see them have fun together.

People love fluffy romantic montages when done right. “Something There” juxtaposes the innocent fun they’re having (feeding the birds, the snowball fight) with their conflicted internal monologues about their changing feelings. 

Fun and humor are important ways for people to get more comfortable around each other and see their good qualities. Which is why I’m always surprised (and disappointed) when so many romantic plots are dour and ultra-serious. A bunch of mumbling dialogue and brooding about fate and *yawn.* It makes me want to say, lighten up, you guys. If your relationship is bringing you no joy at all, why are you even together??

4) Let us see them do normal, mundane things together.

Again, people love domestic fluff. Why? It gives us a glimpse into the character’s everyday lives together. Their entire life isn’t going to be comprised of dramatic confessions of love, so let us see them living comfortably side by side. Sometimes seemingly boring situations can still teach us something about the characters, even as simple as having breakfast together.

Look at them learning to compromise, even with the little things! 

5) Most importantly, answer the question “why do they like each other?”

Joke all you want about Belle falling in love because he gave her a library, it was a thoughtful gift that showed he was supportive of her interests--something she had never encountered from her judgmental village. Belle and the Beast find acceptance and solace in each other, and are able to comfortably be themselves when they’re together.

The film also (sort of) spells out what qualities they specifically like about each other. Belle begins to fall when she realizes “there’s something sweet, and almost kind” about the Beast. The Beast admits he has feelings for her shortly after their argument, whereas he had previously been dismissive of her (“she’s so beautiful and I’m...well look at me”). This leads me to infer that it’s her bravery and resilience that he comes to admire, that makes him see her differently.

6) Make them share something personal together to establish trust and emotional intimacy.

This is something the live action movie added that I felt actually served a good purpose in the story: the Beast helps Belle find some closure about her mother’s death. It shows that he cares about her emotional state. In turn she allows herself to be vulnerable in front of him, sharing some very personal thoughts and even crying a little, which shows the audience that she trusts him.

7) Now it’s time for some romantic gesture(s).

All these points above lay the foundation so that the ballroom scene can sweep us off our feet. By the time the Beast lets Belle go, we can already see they love each other. It’s just a matter of admitting it.

So there you have it. In my opinion, these seven things are what make this fictional relationship believable despite the film’s short run time. They’re relatively simple ways to make a romance in a story work, which I think writers (myself included) could benefit from considering.

[ohgoditsamy]

Am I a clean or messy person? Relatively clean Am I a tea or coffee person? Tea all the way! Am I a vegetarian/vegan? Neither Am I afraid of heights? Not really Am I allergic to anything? I hope not Am I an early bird or a night owl? Definitely a night owl Am I an extrovert or introvert? Introvert Am I an innie or an outie? Innie Am I easily embarrassed? Definitely Am I in a relationship? Yup! Am I left or right handed? Leftie! Am I much of a daredevil? I wish.. Am I scared of the dark? No Am I social? Uh I guess Am I superstitious? It depends Am I ticklish? Oh god.. Can I bake? Not well Can I cook? Again, not well Can I curl my tongue? Yup Can I dance? Uh.. I can do the charleston, the macarena, YMCA.. so uh Can I drive? Nearly!! Can I juggle? Lol nah Can I play poker? Lol nah Can I roll my r’s? You bet Can I sing? Well I’m not tone deaf but I wouldn’t go as far as saying I can sing Can I spell well? I hope so Can I swim? Yup Can I wiggle my ears? Kinda?? Do I correct people when they make mistakes? Sometimes.. Do I have a collection of anything? 50p’s, squashed pennies, cool money Do I have a strong accent? Nah Do I have any nicknames? “Weema” - my dad Do I have any pet peeves? Bad grammar, when people spell it “defiantely”, people who put the milk in first Do I have any piercings? Nah Do I have any strange phobias? Let me think about that one idk Do I have more girl friends or boy friends? Probably 50/50 Do I have much of an ego? God no Do I judge a book by its cover? Uh, I guess as first impressions Do I like bubble baths? Too right Do I like classical music? Yeah Do I like clowns? Nope Do I like my handwriting? God no Do I like roller-coasters? Sure Do I like scary movies? Yeah Do I like shopping? Yup Do I like to gossip? Not really Do I like to talk on the phone? Depends who it’s to Do I like travelling? Yeeeepp Do I play any instruments? Piano! Do I sleep with the lights on or off? Of Do I smile at strangers? I try to Do I suck or bite lollipops? Suck, cheeky Do I talk to myself? Yup Do I tend to hold grudges? Unfortunately Do I use earphones or headphones? Earphones, but I prefer headphones Do I use sarcasm a lot? Dunno man, do I Do I want any tattoos? Some cute flowery ones Do I wear glasses? I did for a year? But now I don’t need them? Have I ever been on a plane? Once Have I ever been on tv? Not that I remember lmao Have I ever been to the hospital? Yup Have I ever crashed a car? Not yet Have I ever got in trouble with the law? Not yet Have I ever had a rumour spread about me? Well if it was, I dunno about it Have I ever had braces? Nope but soon I will Have I ever pulled an all-nighter? Yup Have I ever skipped school? Yup, karma got me though Have I ever started a rumour? Idk I hope not Have I ever thrown up in the car? Uh?? I dunno man How long does it take for me to get ready? Not long, I spend most of my getting ready time drinking tea How many relationships have I ever had? Just the one How old was I when I first got my period? I dunno like 12 How tall am I? 5ft 8? What am I most likely to be doing when I am outside? Walking most probably What am I usually doing on a Friday night? Sitting in bed What are my favourite bands? God um, Arctic Monkeys, Two Door Cinema Club, RHCP, Green Day, Gorillaz - idk it changes every 10 minutes What are my favourite flowers? Roses, Daffodils What can I smell in the air? Not much really, maybe shea perfume What colours mostly dominate my wardrobe? Black, blue, crimson What is my appearance like? Pale complexion, brown hair, blue eyes What is my culture? Idk, white british? Is that right? What is my current wallpaper on my phone? A collage of the same picture of my boyfriends face What is my full name and why did I get it? Amy Helen Blackford, because my parents chose it lmao What is my greatest strength? Lmao probably art, I’m just mediocre at everything What is my greatest weakness? Nerves. What is my guilty pleasure? The 80s What is my Hogwarts house? Ravenclaw What is my most expensive piece of clothing? Uh a pair of duck egg coloured docs at a guess What is my most heavily used makeup product? Revolution Flawless Matte 2 What is my most used phrase? Currently “lmao” or “man” cause I’m a generic piece of shit What is my most used word? I don’t really have a personal word count so.. What is my personality like? A bit bland, occasionally funny, easily pissed off, indecisive, persistent, annoying What is my personality type? INTP? Idk I had to google this one What is my religion? Unspecified, I’m not bound to a religion and I as never baptised  - who knows what / if I’ll be. What is my spirit animal?  What is my strangest talent? Uh, this is a weird one but if I were to place my hands as if I were to clap them I can make a weird ass fart noise with my hands?? I haven’t got any decent talents. I’m a bit useless. Oh wait I can cross my legs twice too What is my zodiac sign? Gemini What is one trend that I completely bought into? The 90s trend? What is something I can’t do no matter how hard I try? Fucking piano exams. Playing piano in front of people. Guitar.  What is something I hated as a child that I like now? God, too many things. Eminem, the colour pink, more feminine things What is the last thing I bought? Other than my final set of driving lessons, I bought my boyfriend Mass Effect Andromeda What is the longest I’ve ever gone without sleep? Probably like 20 hours? 22? What is the pet I would like to have? Just more dogs, oh, and a fox What is the worst injury I’ve ever gotten? Spraining my wrist, I’m a bore What language do I want to learn? I know some French, but I’d like to be fluent What video games do I play when I want to relax? Destiny, Overwatch, GTA V.. What was the last book I read? Black-Eyed Susans What was the last movie I saw? Ghost in the Shell, cinema last night What word do I always use as an exclamation? FUCK! What word do I always use to describe something great? Like anything positive, it can range from “cool” to “HOLY SHIT” Where do I currently live? Near Leicester, UK Which is my favourite season? Summer / Autumn

Favourites

What is my favourite accent? French, Russian, posh British (Southern), German, Italian.. most accents really What is my favourite animal? Just dogs, I fucking love dogs What is my favourite band? I dunno this! It changes every 10 minutes! What is my favourite childhood book? I had this giant bumper Disney book  What is my favourite colour? Pastel pink, blues, yellows, greens What is my favourite drink? TEA. What is my favourite flavour of ice cream? Vanilla What is my favourite food to eat on a rainy day? Soup What is my favourite food to eat on a sunny day? Depends, if it’s hot then ice cream! What is my favourite number? 19, no reason it’s just a nice number What is my favourite place on the planet? Scotland What is my favourite radio station? Radio X What is my favourite sandwich? Ham, cheese, lettuce, cucumber and salsa (specifically Subway #NotSpon) What is my favourite snack? Tea and biscuits What is my favourite song? Currently Love by Lana Del Rey What is my favourite swear word? Fuck. It just fits every situation. What is my favourite word? I just came across the word “Idiosyncratic” meaning distinctive, individual and I love it. What is my favourite thing to wear? It’s generic but mom jeans, they’re comfortable as fuck and I have a pair with flowers on so they’re super pretty !

People

Do I remember the day I met …? My boyfriend. The day I met him. Hell yeah he was a weird kid standing on a table - he shook up an energy drink (specifically Rockstar Guava which I happen to love) and stabbed it with a pin so it spirted out. He continued to do this for a few days. Little did I know it was actually to get my attention specifically. How are my mother and I similar and different? We looked exactly the same at the age of 5. However she is very quick to judge people I am not so What are the compliments I have given other people? I like your outfit, makeup, eyes, hair, smile, eye colour, music taste, art skills What are the compliments people have given me? Nice outfit, You’re pretty What do my best friend and I have in common? We’re both gemini and left-handed. This is also my boyfriend. I have a few other close friends but idk if they consider me as close What gifts would I like to give everyone? Everything they want. Paints, anything yellow, games, clothes, anything. What if I could meet anyone on this planet – who would I choose? Bob Ross Where is my best friend? At work, sucks to be him. Which actors & actresses do I trust enough to watch whatever they’re in? Leo DiCaprio, um.. Which teachers inspired me the most? None of my school teachers Who are my favourite characters? From what TV shows? Tony Stonem, Cassie Ainsworth - Skins. I can’t think of any film ones right now.. Who are my friends? Everyone in my college course, a few I met on Xbox Who are my parents? The ones who.. y’know, made me. Those people. Who are my sisters? Just the one, she’s annoying. Jk lmao. Who are the new people I met? – their names and where we met. Kirstyyy!! Met at college and became friends cause she was wearing an MCR shirt that day. Plus all the other folks at college. Who are the writers I trust enough to read anything they write? I need to fuckin read more. Who brings the sunshine on the days I see nothing but a grey sky? The bae lmao plus all my friends. Who is my best friend? I swear we have had this question. Who is my celebrity crush? 90s: Leo DiCaprio, Angelina Jolie, Winona Ryder. But also Kaya Scodelario, Chris Pratt. Mate just anyone if they’re famous and reasonably attractive. Who is my favourite youtuber? Emma Blackery, basically the only youtuber I still have the time and patience to watch  Who is my role model? Probably Emma Blackery Who is my secret valentine? Secret one? Uh, the bae. SECRETS OUT LADS Who is someone I admire? Admiration and appreciate for Bob Ross if you please Who is someone that saved me? Nathan, from my cripplingly low self-confidence and ability to speak to people Who is the most intelligent person I know? This guy called Jamie, can play guitars ambidextrously, is a killer at maths and science. Who is the most supportive person in my life right now? Nathan and Kirsty thx u guys Who was the last person I texted? NATHAN Who would I like to go on a midnight adventure with? Idk man who was I just talkin about Who would I love to randomly see this week? Any friends, I love meeting up with friendos! Who would I really like to hug? NATHAAN Who would I really like to punch? NATHAAAAAAAAAN Why am I grateful for …? Who? Nathan? Cause he’s cool, talks about problems n shit, treatin me right  Why am I grateful for dad? Cause he helps me out with a lot of shit Why am I grateful for mum? Same as dad to be fair

Music

A playlist for 12-year-old me - Every album ever written by; My Chemical Romance, Black Veil Brides, Fall Out Boy A playlist for throwback Thursday, Bohemian Rhapsody, Daydream Believer, Spin me around, Snow (Hey oh), I’m Just Here For The Free Beer A playlist for when I’m angry - Survival, This means war, Lake of Fire A playlist for when I’m in love - Spin Me Around, Love A playlist for when I’m in the mood to party My House, I’m not in love, Earthquake A playlist for when I’m sad - Everybody’s gotta learn sometime, Kitchen Sink A playlist of songs that I have on repeat - My house, Where the girls at,  A playlist that makes me want to dance - Nancy Mulligan, Galway Girl A playlist that makes me want to sing - Mr Brightside, Ruby, Chelse Dagger, Don’t you want me A playlist to inspire me - Anything by Lana A playlist to listen to on the bus/train - Anything by Lana, Twenty one pilots A playlist with the classics - Like a Prayer, True Colours,  A song that really speaks to me - I’m honestly not sure A song that was stuck in my head today - Love, by Lana Bands and their logos - Arctic Monkey’s logo is cool, as is Nirvana’s Song lyrics - “I wanna fuck a dog in the ass” lmao just the funniest lyrics I know from Blink 182 What are the first 6 songs when I put my playlist on shuffle? Semi-Automatic, Are you gonna be my girl, First Date, Blue Jeans, Walk, Lake of Fire What song always brings a smile to my face? Spin me around

Places

A place where the architecture made me want to wake up and see the city skyline every morning - Not that I’ve been there but New York A place where the customer service made me tip £100 - God I hope that’s not a thing A place where the memories were unforgettable - I know too many places for this A place where the nature made me want to live in the middle of nowhere - Scotlandddd A place where the people restored my faith in humanity - Scotlaaanddddd How to get to my favourite place - A seven hour ball-ache of a drive to..... SCOTTLAAAAANDDD Places I have never been to but want to see. Grand Canyon, Great Wall fo China, Great Barrier Reef, The Phillippines, Canada Somewhere I want to go before I die - Australia / America Somewhere I want to go before I turn 20 - ‘MURICAAA Somewhere I would rather be right now. - Wait for it.... SCOTLAAAAND What are the popular places in town? - In my town? The cinema, Costa? I dunno What is the worst place I’ve been to? Blackpool. Where is my favourite place to shop? Urban Outfitters Where was I born? George Eliot Hospital

Lists

A list of every single song on the albums released by my fav bands “fav” lmao I’m dying can I just list some good songs here thanks

Stolen Dance - Milky Chance Blue Jeans - Lana Del Rey Trees - twenty one pilots Stan - Eminem Human - Rag’n’Bone Man Nancy Mulligan - Ed Sheeran

I cant think of any more

Every tom and jerry’s ice cream flavour (I want to try).

Fuck my LIFE all of them

Places I would like to see.

Grand Canyon Niagra Falls Cute beaches Mountains

Sounds I like.

Piano Birds Water

Sounds I dislike.

My dad shouting up the stairs at me : ))

Sports I like.

Badminton Basketball

Star signs.

Gemini? Idk?? 

The first 5 things I saw on my way home.

I only left the house for my driving lesson today idk

The first 5 words that come to mind.

I don’t know what to write

The main roman gods.

Is this a test

The main Greek gods.

Zeus. The end.

Things I don’t own but like.

Self appreciation

Things I want to buy.

An iPhone 6S, I have an iPhone 5S and the home button’s broken

Top 10 episodes to watch

Skins S1 Ep’s 1-9, then carry on. Just go past 10 episodes and finish S2.

Top 10 favourite quotes.

“What, you egg!       [He stabs him]”

“Hamlet: O fuck.      [Exit Hamlet]”

I probably have some favourite serious quotes but I forgot them

Top 10 movies to watch.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind 10 Cloverfield Lane Every single Harry Potter Girl, Interrupted Every single Star Wars

Techically that’s more than 10

Top 10 people I want to meet.

I’m not even sure, Emma Blackery? Bob Ross if he were here?

Top 10 places in Manchester.

None I want to visit.

Top 10 restaurants I love.

Rossini’s, Prezzo (though I actually recently heard bad reviews so I may retract that one), Zizzi’s, Windsor Tiffin

What is the sentence on line 13 of page 23 in the book nearest to me?

The book nearest me is a Piano book and I’m not going to write sheet music on here. The song on Pg. 23 is called Here, There and Everywhere though

What movies do I watch when I’m feeling down?

Kids movies - Toy Story, Finding Nemo etc

What tv shows do I always recommend?

Sk-Sk-Sk.. SKINS

What were my favourite tv shows as a child?

Doctor Who (I accidentally just typed Doctor Whom and I’m pissing myself holy shit), Tracey Beaker, 50/50, Raven, Trapped! Drake and Josh

What words don’t seem real to me?

Albertopolis, Bindlestiff

Wish list

That fucking iPhone 6S

Experiences/Memories

A memory in summer

Walks down to a nearby village to have picnics

A memory in winter

A drunkard Christmas party in which I threw up on myself 3 times, twice missing a plastic bag as it was folded over and the sick just kinda rolled onto me.

A memory with my family.

Going to France

A memory with my friends.

Wetherspoons Wednesday!!

I’ll never forget the day (a teacher) did this.

Made me write a half page essay about a poem as I did not answer 3 questions on it for homework. I completed this essay in about 2 minutes having read the poem, she looked shocked I’d done it so fact so I got up and left.

Memories from high school

“Are you emo?” “Are you goth?” “You were a lot of black” None of this I do anymore.

Special moments I want to witness.

One of my mates weddings, he’s engaged

The story behind my first kiss

The most awkward peck on a street corner as a goodbye, however it was good

The story behind my last kiss

It simply just happened, probably again as a goodbye for the night

The stories behind my scars

I have a scar on my chin, about an inch and a half in length due to a birthmark I had removed at the age of 8.

What are the memories I never want to forget?

Basically everything the year I met Nathan and everything this year for these have been some of the happiest years of my life.

What is my saddest memory?

I recently lost a guinea pig I’d owned for 4 years, I hadn’t had the time to give her attention in the latter months of her life so I never really said goodbye to her. I’ll regret it forever.

What is the first thing I remember?

Being pushed down the slide by some bitch called Charlotte at the age of about 2. I was really pissed and blamed her up until about 6 months ago when I realised I was in fact the asshole as I was climbing up the slide. I didn’t see the problem with climbing up it until recently lmao

What is the funniest thing I remember?

Um.. itS SEXUAL SO... I’ll save it for another time.

What was my most embarrassing moment?

I was on a school trip, they took all of our water bottles off us on arriving at the destination. I was parched as I never got my water bottle back like everyone else, and when I did I drank the entire thing and it went through me. On the way home from the school trip I had to stop the entire double decker coach because I was about to piss myself.

What was the happiest day of my life?

Idk meeting Nathan for the first time and going on a three hour walk around my small village

What was the last concert I went to?

Busted, last May

What was the most amazing thing I’ve ever witnessed?

Breathtaking views from Scottish Mountains?

What was the most disappointing thing in my life?

I’d been wanting a Nintendo DS lite for a good year, every time the adverts came on I’d scream about how I wanted the pink one. Did I get one? No. My younger sister, aged 4 at the time got one. 

What was the most nervous I’ve ever been?

Holy shit there are so many examples, having teeth out etc..  Most recent though was a piano exam I was 100% prepared for, in the exam my hands were shaking so much I couldn’t play.

What was the saddest day of my life?

Finding out my boyfriend had done something which apparently I later found out he didn’t do, at the time I was distraught however.

When was I last scared for my life?

I don’t think I legitimately ever have been

Letters

A note to my favourite teachers. You were great.

Dear Nathan, I would like to tell you. That you’re awesome and you should love me forever lmao

Dear 5-year-old me. MAKE FRIENDS YOU FUCK

Dear 10-year-old me. GET PIANO LESSONS NOW YOU FUCK

Dear 13-year-old me. STOP BEING EMO YOU FUCK

Dear 15-year-old me. WELL DONE, YOU’RE IMPROVING BUT SORT UR HAIR OUT

Dear 16-year-old me. Ur gonna be fine, look at u now, cheer up man

Dear 18-year-old me. Get drunk, go on, ur 2 months ahead of me

Dear 21-year-old me. IF YOU DIDNT GRADUATE FROM UNI I WILL CRY

Dear 25-year-old me. I hope you have a house and your engaged or something decent, please have a job

Dear all the boys I’ve liked. Lmao why did I like you 

Dear someone I need to forgive. You’re forgiven, whoever you are?

Letters to my future children. fuck off you sperm cells

Questions to answer

A wise person learns from the mistakes of others – do I agree? No, a person becomes wise from learning from their own mistakes. 

Advice to any if the new kids at sf. At the what?

Am I a bad loser? It depends what it is :(((

Am I a good liar? If I want to be

Am I a writer? Hell I wish

Am I an artist? I mean sort of

Am I good at giving advice? Hell I wish

Am I happy with myself? Good joke 

Am I happy with the person I’ve become? Well from what I was, yes

Am I the kind of friend I would like to have as a friend? Ew no

Books I always reread. Uh..

Can insanity bring on more creativity? I think so, sadness does

Do I admit when I’m wrong? Rarely

Do I believe that people are capable of change? Sometimes, but remember I said I hold grudges so I’d probably not trust you for years

Do I belong here? Belong where? I’m in bed so fuck yea

Do I hold grudges? WHAT WERE WE JUST TALKING ABOUT

Do I have trust issues? Yup..

Do I like confrontation? I can confront people, but I don’t like being confronted

Do I live or do I just exist? Existing, waiting to live.

Do I prefer to be on camera or behind it? Behind, but if I totally had the confidence I’d wanna be in there

Do I really want a cat? Cats are cool

Do I trust easily? What the fuck this is the same question, no I do not

Have I ever been bullied? Sorta?

Have I ever been on a date? I don’t even know lol

Have I ever felt like I wasn’t enough? All the time

Have I ever felt rejected by my friends/family? All the time

Have I ever had a friend turn into an enemy? Idk some former friends hate me, and I hate some former friends. No enemies, no arguments though.

Have I ever had a paranormal experience? Used to see someone walk around my dads house and hear banging in the loft - both stopped around the same time however so they’re probably related.

Have I ever had a public perception of me change from good to bad? Idk, Idk what “the public” think of me

Have I ever had a song or poem written about me? No but how cute would that be

Have I ever hopelessly failed a test? WHAT WAS I SAYING ABOUT PIANO.

Have I learnt from my mistakes? Yes but I never follow through cause I’m useless

How am I feeling? Useless man I should be doing college work

How do I find comfort when I’m sad? Tea and biscuits.

How do I vent my anger? Arguing, shouting.. it’s bad.

How do I want to be remembered? As a decent person

How could I avoid getting hurt? Pretend you’re not. Be sarcastic n fuckin take it like a truck.

How does a (any appliance around the home) work? Well you see, with a vacuum right, you plug it in and you turn it on. Then it sucks away the dirty shit on your floor. Why is this a question.

How I think will determine how I live – agree or not? Yeah, your thoughts impact your decisions, your decisions impact what happens around you.

How would I define my sense of humour? Sometimes dark, sometimes punny, memes, shit.

What am I like when I’m angry? Argumentative, aggressive, talk back

What am I most afraid of? Being forgotten, left behind

What are some things that stand between me and complete happiness? Self-confidence, nerves

What did I like about being a kid? Not giving a fuck

What did I want to be when I was younger? Fashion designer, teacher, hair dresser, doctor, F1 driver, artist.. you name it.

What do I admire most in others? Kindness, generosity, respectfulness

What do I hate about sf? WHAT THE FUCK IS SF

What do I hate most about myself? My huge ass nose, teeth, nerves, personality

What do I love most about myself? The fact my eyes are blue ? 

What do I notice first when I see someone? Eyes

What do I think about selfies? Sometimes I take good ones

What do I think about the most? Tea

What do I think could be improved in the educational system? Pretty much all of it, the way personal and social skills is taught specifically.

What do I think people think of me? Annoying

What do I touch first when I stick my arms out? My dog

What do I wish I didn’t miss? Um?

What do I wish for every night? To be more productive, a cup of tea

What does a rainbow mean to me? Usually that it’s been raining, I’m pretty black and white.

What fictional character do I wish was real? None really?

What fictional universe would I like to be a part of? Harry Potter or something, maybe X men. Have a wand or some special ability, it’d be cool.

What is an experience that has made me stronger? Getting a job which requires speaking to people

What is an item of clothing or jewellery you’ll never see me without? My half 50p necklace

What is my biggest dream and how do I plan on making it become a reality? Going travelling.. I have no idea how.

What is my biggest what if? What if I’d never met Nathan. Would I be a not talkative emo fuck

What is my greatest achievement? Designing the logo for my local carnival? Designing a company brochure (in the making)

What is my greatest failure? Hopefully not my driving test next week.

What is my secret weapon to get someone to like me? Uh. My killer dank memes.

What is one aspect of myself that I feel confident about? My makeup. 

What is one thing I am interested in learning more about? North Korea

What is something that makes me feel vulnerable? My nerves and easy ability to be angry or upset by something

What is the best gift I’ve ever received? My half 50p necklace

What is the first thing I think of when I hear the word ‘heart’? FUcking hell.. the heart emoji. I want to die for that answer, but if I didn’t put it I’d be lying

What is the hardest lesson I have had to learn in life? What I do when I’m learning something, it won’t be perfect first time.

What is the ideal age to be and why? 18 forever, old enough to be responsible for yourself, young enough to go places and have fun.

What is the most scandalous situation I’ve ever been involved in? I broke into an abandoned house?

What is the nicest thing about a person? Their kindness

What is the single best decision I’ve made in my life so far? Switching to Graphic Design course over Art and Design cause the people on Art and Design were shit and I wasn’t happy.

What is the single worst decision I’ve made in my life so far? Being emo aged 12-15

What makes a great relationship? A good balance of friendship, love and lust.

What makes me smile? A good joke, hanging with friends What motivates me to succeed? University, the idea of success

What part of my life would I relive if I could? Most of my childhood?

What part of my life would I remove if I could? The old person part, I don’t wanna be frail, ill and dying unable to do anything and it’s just a waiting game to death.

What question am I afraid to tell the truth to? None really?

What questions would I ask to get to know someone better? What stuff they’re into?

What was I doing at 12am last night? Talking to friends

What was I like as a child and how did my personality change as I got older? More understanding, loving, friendly now

What was my favourite subject in school? Art What was the last lie I told? I can’t remember, who knows, I could’ve been lied to and I don’t know

What was the most ridiculous thing that made me cry? My piano exam, having my teeth out, several films, nothing

What will I do in university? GRAPHIC DESIGN BOI I’M EXCITED

What would I change about my sf? My what the fuck

What would I change about my life if you knew I would never die? Uh.. I don’t wanna not ever die it’d be lonely.

What would I change about the world? Be rid of the old arseholes in Government, disrespectful people, terrorists

What would I like to change this year? BE MORE PRODUCTIVE (ironic I’ve been doing this for over an hour)

What would I do differently if you knew that no one was judging me? Everything.

What would I do in the event of an apocalypse? Probably plan a living strategy

What would I have to see to cry tears of joy? Dogs.

What would I want written on my tombstone? Idk probably something funny like “Active 23 mins ago” or some quote I like

When did I experience stage fright or nervousness in front of a crowd? FUCKING. PIANO. EXAM.

When do I feel most at peace? In bed.

When did I last send a handwritten letter to someone? My french pen friend, year 8

When did I not speak up, when I know I really should have? Several times.

When did I witness something controversial and had to keep it a secret? I don’t think so

When was the last time I cried? Wednesdy, over my FUCKING PIANO EXAM

Where do I see myself in 10 years’ time? uh, in my own house I hope

Where do I want to live? Still not figured this one out

Where is the best place to get pizza? Rossini’s omg

Where would I go if I got a plane ticket to anywhere? ‘MURICAAA

Which do I value more in others, brains or beauty? Brains

Who do I get on with better, girls or boys? Used to just be girls but now both really

Who do I miss the most? No one?

Who do I need the most? Nobody cause IM A FREE WOMAN

Why couldn’t I get out of bed this morning? Because it’s me and I’m lazy.

Why couldn’t I sleep last night? Because it’s me and I’m shit.

Why do I hate insects? Because it’s me and I hate them.

Why do dogs hate me and I hate them? Wait what no

Will you lend me a hand – how do I think this idiom got started? Because I can’t carry something or I’m confused

Would I ever spread gossip? I hope not

Would people consider me a diva? I hope not? I don;t think I am?

[deborahcastellano]

Glamour for the Completely Exhausted

All your dreams have died.  Welcome to 2017.  The last party leftover has long been eaten, you're back to drinking too much wine and watching too much television.  You have not set foot in the gym, the sky is grey, there is no end in sight and it will never be spring again.

I can't speak for you, but so far 2017 has been one punch in the box after another.  I have a work project that's a complete clusterfuck that I'm fruitlessly trying to spin into gold and failing and in return the project is giving me: no down time whatsoever, an added ten pounds, repetitive stress injuries, flaky scalp and all the zits I want.  Not to mention endless exhaustion, frustration and feeling like I am trying to run underwater along with the knowledge that tax season is just about to start so my life is not mine for the next three months anyway.  In the background: a thing I'm trying to get together for my book that I can't talk about but goes around and around and likely will end in futility, communication issues at home which, if you haven't had the pleasure of being with someone for nearly ten years, I can tell you at this stage, one of you is always Lucy with the goddamn football (the antagonist!) and the other is always Charlie Brown (the injured party!).  I am not at my best at present.  2017 is gaining traction on me and it's hard to put on my best dress and repeatedly outrun it.  Still, I try.

Somehow though, people persist in thinking I have my shit together, which is endearing given how much I blab about what a hot mess I am.  I think this is because I can present a decently cohesive front to the intertubes.  I would like to pass this solace onto you because this is part of how we outsmart 2017 even though it is super trying to kill us already.

Run Faster, Get Stronger, Pull It Together

Start drinking tumeric tea at night.  I tried taking tumeric pills but they were really hard on my tummy.  Tumeric has . . .a distinctive taste.  It tastes less like burning death in the Numi Amber Sun version, though it will still taste like burning death so prepare yourself.  I suggest at night for a few reasons: (a) it is not super nice on the tummy, so having a previously full tummy from dinner helps (b) you are about to go to sleep so kick that lazy ass metabolism into gear.  If you have a chronic condition, tumeric is an anti-inflammatory so maybe it will help you on the running faster part.  There are vague alchemical/ayurvedic reasons I can think of that tumeric is a good idea, but let's focus on a more cohesive reasoning here: your glamour will be stronger if your insides are running at a higher speed.  This is not, only skinny people are glamourous.  Because let me tell you!  I wouldn't have a book then, would I?  But let me ask you this: do you feel capable of bringing forward everything that makes you attractive and interesting to others when you are overly full?  Because . . .my glamour abilities take a nosedive after a long, wine-ladden business dinner with an antipasto plate as big as my living room table when said plate is just the starting point.  If I'm metabolizing everything I'm ingesting at a sluggish rate, it's hard to be Elizabeth Bennett.  You never know what doors could open for you in everything you are attempting to accomplish in 2017 if others find you glamourous.  So work on being more glamourous and less sluggish.  Start this with tumeric tea.

2. Get your Insta game on point.  Your mom is killing it at Instagram and that's just embarrassing on your part.  I recently received the highest praise possible: a much younger college friend told me I had no bad angles and Ms. K puts together .gifs about her imagined version of my life when snapping an Insta.  So flattering!  And so easy for you to accomplish, too.  

a. Start selfie'ing like crazy.  Like fifteen minutes a day.  I know, that sounds insane.  But unless you are naturally good at being photographed, it's how you get good.  I am naturally terrible at being photographed.  Like, I look like a deer about to be mowed down by an SUV until I started practicing like crazy.  When you practice daily, you start to learn what your bad angles are and how to avoid them and you start to learn what your good angles are and how to use them to your advantage.  You also learn where in your house has bad lighting and where in your house has good lighting.  Practice: using your reflection in mirrors in your home, using the selfie version of your phone, having other people take pictures of you, group pictures, practice if you want to smile or not and how to look in each case, practice sitting and standing poses.  This sounds completely psychotic until you stop and think about how much time you spend on your social media of choice and how often pictures of you are put on social media.  Do you want to look like a crash victim or awesome?  More to the point: do you want all of your friends thinking your life is completely enviable even when you know your cat just vomited up a piece of the tulip you just Insta'ed onto your carpet?

b. Take pictures of little moments of your day that genuinely make you happy.  A nice cup of tea.  Cardinal Woolsey at your window (in my case).  Your cats and kids doing half a second of adorable things.

c. Never, ever post pictures begging for compliments.  "Oh god, I look terrible and I'm fat and horrible."  NO.  NO.  NO.  NEVER.  EVER.  Ms. K's mom sometimes would scold us with, Would Jackie Kennedy do [whatever heinous thing you've just done, probably together]?  No.  Jackie Kennedy would not.  We would giggle of course, because Jackie Kennedy would not do body shots and dance on tables like we did.  But in this instance, in this social media driven environment, it is a helpful gut check because when Ms. K and I were in our early twenties, we did not have social media.  This gave us a protective shield to do every dumb thing we ever wanted to do.  Which we did, with great enthusiasm respectively.  Would Jackie Kennedy post pictures to her Insta trolling for sympathy compliments?  No, Charmer.  She would not.  Nor would the Dowager Countess Violet Crawley.  Nor should you.  And if you have even a moment's hesitation about posting a picture/caption, table it.  One can post later but once one has posted, it's been screen capped and passed around to all of your haters.

d. Work on your editing game.  Crop, that's a really easy starting place.  Crop the picture to be attractive.  Find the right filter to use.  Black and white almost always looks badass, when in doubt.  Use an app to fix your basic issues, but be mindful to go light on the airbrushing because anyone who has a good Insta game uses an app too and know when you have overdone "fixing".  Beauty Plus is a good app for basic fixing and only takes a minute to use.

e. Be sure to post about things that go wrong for you on occasion which will calm the social media evil eye which is a totally real thing.

3. Create something small (literally).  Creating something small whether it's a honey pot, a mojo hand, a terrarium or a fairy garden helps you feel calmer.  It gives you a tiny world where you are the God King/Lordess/Specialist Pony Deity which can be really helpful if you don't have control over chaotic forces such as your children, your spouse, your siblings, your coworkers.  Miniature is often kind of a dad hobby - like trains and model cars which makes me think that there's got to be a soothing aspect to it.  Beyond even that, creating something whether it's a specific spell or a small world is a powerful act of magic.  That's why goddesses usually do it, yo.

4. Mantra.  When I start to feel like I am going to stab the next person who gets into my work space with a pair of scissors, mantra really helps me.  If you are stabbing coworkers, you're not going to win at whatever you are trying to accomplish in 2017, mostly because you will be in jail awaiting your trial which isn't going to help get that novel finally written, is it?  I mean, it might get you another book deal about your memoirs, maybe a Lifetime movie-- No.  Just stay the course and try to get yourself calm and centered so you can actually accomplish what you are trying to accomplish and aren't wasting excessive amounts of time bitching and complaining about your life and/or overeating, overshopping, overdrinking, oversmoking (whatever).  Calm and centered = winning, distracted by all the inevitable silly bullshit in your life that is wearing you down to an exhausted nub so you can't change your circumstance = losing.  Start with सो ऽहम्.  I am that.  So-ham.  Just keep repeating it to yourself until you feel less like arson and more like making a plan for dinner and maybe organizing your leggings or whatever it is you need to do.

2017 is just getting warmed up.  You've got this, Final Girl.

[random-rants-n-rambles]

Pikachu Review (spoilers!)

Well I just got back from seeing Detective Pikachu, and none of my friends want to talk about it, so I’d thought I’d let you all know... It’s a pretty good movie. Now I want to make a distinction here: It’s a GREAT video game movie, and I was practically fangirling through all of it, but its a simply ok movie movie; I was constantly distracted by plotholes and some emotional moments went on for a bit too long. SO while I do love this movie and am very glad that I saw it, I am also highly critical of most media and love ranting so that’s what I’m going to do.

One thing that I noticed was that there wasn’t a lot of actual detective work going on. There was a fair trial up to the roundhouse(which we never saw how they actually found it seeing as it was an underground establishment and neither one of them knows the city) but after that everything is practically handed to them, Howard spells out what to do, Lucy shows them where to go, Pikachu gets lucky (more on that later) and then the climax. I really liked the semi-parody superserious detective work with Lucy at the beginning and think they could have used more of that at the end instead of a mostly pointless action scene with the tortera that could just as easily have been handled with the greninga hurting pikachu.

NOw for the fun part. I’m going to list all the plotholes I noticed and just general why moments I had!

WHy was the lickitoung on the train?

Why was the fathers' case closed when neither body was found and there was literally greninga stars at the scene of the crime!(seriously how did the police miss those? Pikachu found them in less than a minute)

That intro video to rhyme city is very good exposition, terrible guide or history knowledge though. Literally all about the founder of the city, nothing about the city itself.

How does none of the crowd at the round house get hurt through the wire fence by wayward hydro blasts or flame throwers?

How the Heck do those holograms work? How were they recorded? How are they shown? How are they manipulated? Why does a scientist need to record 3D videos of both herself and others just to make a log when a voice recorder would do the job just fine and take up less disk space?

If Howard can create technology that amazing, why can’t he just invent a pair of robot legs?

Why aren't there any security guards at the Poke labs? No locks, of alarms besides cameras, and a nonelectrified fence. Isn’t this stuff worth a lot? There aren't even any cleaning staff or people to feed the pokemon.

BUilding up on that, There seems to be no security at all in this city. Tim just walks right on up to where the poke parade promo is being shot, didn't seem to have a visitors badge. Lucy just drives right on up to the poke labs gate. ANd then her car is the only one seem in the parade set up, no parking spaces or anything, neither of them have a legitimate reason to be there besides plot.

How did no one notice the literal mountains of torteras that were growing within sight of rhyme city? call it remote as much as you like, but they are literal mountains! 

How did Howard find Tim when he reached MewTwo? We never saw him tracking Tim at all. Heck we don’t even know where he is because the torteras probably messed up the landscape.

How did both Tim and Lucy know where the car was? As stated before the landscape has totally changed, and they ran with no regards to directions. Plus they probably don’t get a signal that far out, so no GPS.

How long did it take Pikachu to get to rhyme city? I know my timeline is probably off but it took him a week or so to find the apartment at first, but can travel the same distance in less than an afternoon for the climax?

How did no one notice that the parade balloons were filled with gas and not Helium? How did they make so much, process it, bottle it? and distribute it without any leaks or someone deciding to make their voice really high and getting a faceful of purple stuff?

How did all the balloons get all over the city during the fight? They were all stored in one place for the parade, and none of the leaks seemed to propel them.

Why did the reporter woman take off her jacket and hand it to lucy besides plot?

Why did Howard decide to wait until Tim had reached his office to “bind” with MewTwo? He could have done it at anytime before.

WHy was his son shoved into a cabinet? right next to the entryway. How long has he been in there? without anyone noticing his muffled screams?

Why isn’t anyone freaking out after they are returned to human form? I know fusing with my dog would make me at least scream a bit and back away, not simply look around in confusion.

Why did MewTwo need Tim to repair Harry? 

I must repeat: I really like this movie. The characters are likable, if melodramatic, the pokemon made me smile every time they were on screen, and the end credits are some of the best I have ever seen. But as shown above, it does have a lot of flaws. I’m really hoping Hollywood writes all this down and improves for all other movies to come