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hazzabeeforlou · 5 years ago

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11/11/11

Oh my gosh so my lovely friends @halosboat @helloamhere and @haztobegood all tagged me in this so I��m going to answer a few from each of them I hope that’s okay!!

1. Do you prefer to write in past or present tense?

I mostly use past tense. Present squeaks me out a bit, not sure why, perhaps my anxiety can’t deal with things happening in the moment! I have an irrational fear of the word ‘was,’ though, which is eliminated in present by ‘is’ so, one would think I’d like present more but I *don’t*

2. Is there any story you want to write but feel like you won’t manage?

My story The Garden is going to be... hard. It’s a soulmate fic set in three time periods, a Biblical AU following the reincarnation of lovers David+Johnathan but in the middle ages, Jesus+Judas in the 1960s, and Adam+Eve in the present day, all obviously portrayed by Harry and Louis. It stems from the evangelical idea that Adam, David, and Jesus were the three ‘Christs,’ or rather that Adam and David were imperfect Saviors. Anyways. I want it to explore divinity and fate and religion and politics and loss and violence and love, and the blurring between good and evil and if there even is a distinction, and it’s so clear in my mind that I can almost taste it, but because of that I’m very daunted by the prospect. It would also be very LONG. And idk who would read a biblical gay love story AU so... I’ve even considered just doing a novel, not a fan fic *shrugs*

3. Which one of your fics do you think deserves more love?

OH BOY. Well I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again. My RUDOLPH THE RED NOSED REINDEER AU. Like. Harry is a shapeshifting reindeer. He pulls Santa’s sleigh. He love Christmas more than anything in this whole damn world. Louis is one of Santa’s elves and Harry’s best friend and he wants nothing more than to run away and explore the world. There’s all the mutual idiotic oblivious pining. There’s Christmas shit. SO much Christmas shit. There’s smut. There’s magic. Peppermint dildos. Need I say more?

4. Are the fictional characters you like to read/write similar to the people you like in real life?

I unfortunately read about the people in my real life quite enough in the news *trump voters cough cough* so no, I try to fill my fictional life with witches and warlocks and fairies and intellectuals and scientists and the occasional damsel wandering the moors. As for the characters I write, I have noticed that I tend to make them all very emotionally prone, which I think is more a reflection of myself than the people I’m around. I honestly base most of my characters, or at least their inner issues, on myself, not in an egotistical way, but in an ‘I know myself better than anyone else in my life’ way. Now. Do I like myself? Haha. Um. Ya there’s a reason I solve my self-based character’s problems in fics, I usually need to learn those lessons in my real life.

5. What is your biggest fear about your writing?

My biggest fear has always been failure. As a musician, I’m constantly fearing my art. It’s my profession, and it has to be perfect, and it’s a constant strain. So when it comes to writing, I just don’t let myself care. That’s not to say I don’t edit obsessively and let my perfectionist side play, but because writing is for fun, I don’t fear failing at it. So what if no one reads a story I wrote? I wrote it for me. I wanted to read that story, so I did, and if people hate it, so what. If writing ever became my profession I would likely attach my self worth to it like I do with music, and that’s part of the reason I shy away from that path... I want writing to always be my safe place. Now mechanically, I admit freely that I am the world’s WORST speller. Above that, I also am slightly dyslexic when it comes to right/left, music staff lines, and some words, so I’ll often use the wrong word that sounds the same, you know. Believe it or not my vocab score on the GRE was fucking PERFECT. I just can’t remember how to spell anything, I will legit SPEAK the word I want into Siri and hope she can save my ass. The spelling rules of English are my worse enemy.

6. What is the least “you” story that you like, what was something you really thought you wouldn’t like but ended up loving?

This is so hard because I’m super picky and usually don’t have the patience to wait out things that initially fail to grab my interest. Perhaps... dare I say, the Great British Baking show? I eat none of the things they make. I usually don’t like reality tv or competition shows, they’re too anxiety inducing. But I LOVE this show. I will binge watch it while curled up in bed drinking tea. I now know what a proving drawer is.

7. How do you think about places, locations, settings for your fics?

Usually my plots come ready-made with places. The two are pretty inseparable. I knew PITS would happen in a place like my hometown, that was integral to the story. I knew Until You Remember would be a coastal British village like I’d seen on BBC shows. I knew Flawless would be in NYC, and same with Reindeer Games (apart from the North Pole of course). For Kiss the Girl I did debate between Miami and St. Pete, but having been to both I just... Miami is so wild. I needed a slow, tired place that felt old and forgotten. I guess the real answer to this question is that I set fics mostly in places where I’ve spent time in real life!

8. Give me an example of a scene or plot point in a fic of yours that changed a lot from what you thought it would be

I struggled a lot with the end of Flawless. I’d written this fic and posed all these problems and questions about the nature of love and passion and art and they were all questions I’d been dealing with in my real life and hence I just didn’t have the answers. So I sat on the fic for a while and spent lots of time just thinking, thinking while I put makeup on in the morning, during rehearsal, as I drove places, etc. I remember when the answer “art never needs to be flawless to merit love/people don’t need to be flawless to merit love” hit me, I was sitting on the bathroom counter flossing my teeth or something, and I just jumped up and ran to my notebook. Because that’s a super obvious answer, isn’t it? But I hadn’t been able to find it amidst all the clutter of my questions.

9. Do you consider tags necessary for fics or are they just spoiling the content?

100% necessary. I was super conscious of this for PITS, as the last thing I ever wanted to do was trigger people trying to avoid trauma. Also, as someone who will actively stop movies or shows if I don’t know the ending is happy, I always am clear about that as well. Spoilers and proper tagging aren’t mutually exclusive, in my opinion.

10. Is there any author that inspired you to start writing?

Well... I’ve been writing stories since I was very little, so I’m sure many of my influences have been subconscious ones. However! When Christopher Paolini wrote Eragon, I remember thinking ‘hey if one homeschooled weirdo can do it so can I!”

11. Was there a fic that made you cry?

Pretty sure everything soft and magical that Phoenix @alienfuckeronmain has ever written has made me cry. Including her recent girl direction fic that I had the absolute honor of cheerleading for. I think about that underpass scene all the goddamn time. Um... Nina @pattern-pals wrote this STUNNING girl direction serpent fic that left me a fucking mess, like it was HOLY and I wanted to run to the nearest cathedral and jump in a vat of holy water and scream into stained glass windows, that type of holy. I *sobbed* myself to sleep reading the end of the world fic (I forget the name, I’ll never read it again, it hurt too badly) you know the classic one. God. Ya. Um, but in the GOOD tears category I absolutely bawled at @crinkle-eyed-boo ‘s While You Were Sleeping AU, and I am usually not a rom com sappy type of person but it hit ALL the right notes and I loved it so fucking much.

HOLY SHIT THIS IS SO LONG I’M SORRY! Okay 11 Questions.

1. If you could crawl inside one of your stories and live, which one would it be and why?

2. Is there any imagery you return to again and again?

3. Do descriptions of characters’ clothing factor into your fics a lot, why or why not?

4. Which of your fics would you want adapted to the big screen and why?

5. Are there any place you won’t go with your writing that other’s might think is an usual trigger, i.e. how Indiana Jones hates snakes?

6. Which composer would score your favorite fic and why?

7. Have you ever fallen in love with one of your characters or written a character as a wish-fulfillment perfect partner for yourself?

8. How do you write accents/dialect differences in your fics?

9. Do you ever find yourself re-using words/sentences for kissing or smut? How do you avoid repetition?

10. Which fic author has most touched your soul?

11. If you had to pick only one fic to read over and over again for the rest of your life, what would it be?

@always-aqua @metal-eye @newleafover @lesbianiconharrystyles @pattern-pals @alienfuckeronmain I’m not sure if you’ve all been tagged yet but I think pretty much EVERYONE else has been, however if you haven’t been consider this your tag and please @ me!!!

#11/11/11 #about me #wow this got long so sorry

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