#i’m not censoring it idc

[offkilterkeys]

Planned on making Jake punch someone and then put it off indefinitely by continuously making the canvas larger and giving them more friends.

[proshipconfessions]

Confession from me. I find it annoying when people post harassment from antis in our main tags with no tw. Like you are literally just forcing anyone in the tags to see how much people hate us, and in a lot of contexts, actively platforming the harassment and showing it to more of us.

“Wow, this is so crazy that they would say this…” isn’t an interesting enough caption to enthrall me into looking at someone’s essay about how they wish that we all would die. (Although to be honest, practically no caption is. At least give it a trigger warning to give me the opportunity to opt out of seeing it. I’m trying my best to curate my online experience, so work with me.)

I got a confession talking about this in a somewhat similar way a while ago and agreed with it super strongly, but there’s something extra that I wanna say because I just saw a bunch of it.

I don’t want to be called slurs. Stop posting antis calling us slurs just uncensored, not under the cut, no trigger warning. Like as someone who’s a minority and has been repeatedly harassed with slurs irl for being a minority, completely unrelated to this discourse, why would I want to see more fucking people calling me them? I look in the proship tags to try to find more interesting posts from people who have good takes. I don’t look in the proship tags to have to stand face to face with harassment that is being handpicked and shown to me by other proshippers.

[aldieb]

you guys… my friends are the nicest silliest most resourceful people around… a went to the photo op even tho i missed it and look at this 😭😭😭😭😭

[the-magic-school-bus]

every time i vent a little about the kotlc fandom on this blog, i just imagine a chronically online 15 year old screenshoting all my posts/replies/tags to use in a witch hunt again

then i think to myself why does that even matter, i barely give a shit if that happens again because most of my friends are out of fandom now, and it’s not like it’s gonna get me mass blocked. the witch hunt didn’t even work the first time because i was in the discord severs and it acted as a buffer, because apparently the line of who they’ll block for being pro life and who they won’t is literally based on if you’re in their little friend group.

and maybe i wanna see them try and witch hunt me again because i’m not scared of it this time and i can be sassy instead of defensive this time.

[kavehayati]

Pls nilou come home don’t betray me like your husband that good for nothing L 🙄

[kazzsbrekker]

haven’t watched loki s2 and idk if i want to (mainly because i was extremely disappointed by s1 and also i don’t care about m*bius/l*kius) but from what i’ve seen on here i am actually stunned by the ending for loki’s character. in a positive way. didn’t think marvel had it in them but what a beautiful heartaching tragedy. selflessly choosing a throne and loneliness to protect the multiverse rather than to rule? his glorious purpose ending up being that? horrible sad tragic, i love it

[gold-wolf-soldier13]

Interrupting my weekend overwatch posting to not comment on a YouTube video I’m not agreeing with- so not to post about St*ven Univ*rse on main (cause if it’s not clear I do not and never have like that stupid fucking show) but I was watching a recent (posted in the last week) response to L/ily O/rchard’s criticism video and while I believe that anything posted on the internet is open to critique and no one is above that this response is imo dead on arrival so to speak. Admittedly I’m only 25-ish minutes into the 3 hour video but the author has stated multiple times in those 25 minutes that St*ven Univ*rse is a mystery show and that is just not true. As a show it has never been billed as a mystery like contemporary Gravity Falls, even a quick 5-second google search for St*ven Univ*rse’s genre will show that it’s never been a mystery. Comedy, action, coming of age, fantasy, even romance have all been used to describe St*ven Univ*rse but never once mystery. A show having mystery elements or plot twists like the pink diamond reveal does not make it a mystery and this instance by this essayist that St*ven Univ*rse is a mystery while critiquing another video that rightfully does deserve an in-depth rebuttal is making me take his opinion with several grains of salt because if he can’t get that basic fact of the show right how am I supposed to follow his logic for the rest of this 3 hour video?

[bloodibambiidoll]

It’ll never not be funny to be that some of y’all are bullying people over Eddie fucking Munson LMAO it’s literally the most ironic funny shit to me. I randomly think about it sometimes and just start laughing bc it’s that ridiculous and unbelievable to me yet I witness it constantly. Me and my friends legit got called a “little cult” which is craaazy like what did they call Hellfire?🤨

Also idc if this is petty. My love for him has literally been tainted and stripped away and I’ve cried about it several times and idc if that’s dramatic or not. Like my happy place was ripped from me and I’ll never not be disgusted and pissed off about it. Also I don’t give a fucking shit if people unfollow me anymore. Im so tired of censoring myself so people will like me or so I won’t get bullied. But I don’t even care anymore, don’t like me? Bye. You wanna bully me? My anons are off so you’re gonna have to say that shit to my fucking face. I DONT allow myself to post when I’m in my feelings like this but I also DONT give a shit anymore😌🫶🏽

[lenaboskow]

Ok, I’m old and social media illiterate. Can I ask what hashtag everyone is talking about and how they know Lou is behind it? I don’t doubt it one bit because he’s a fucking asshole but I just don’t even know how to go about finding this out.

idk if lou is behind it but the bts are commenting hashtag t*mmyb*bblesb*ck (only censoring so it doesn't pop up, normally idc) to "show their support" on the insta posts. they think they can bring him back like castiel in spn but if i were them and i knew how spn ended i wouldn't be wanting the spn effect :/

[geeking-n-tweaking]

Dating Andrew Neiman - SFW alphabet

not my gif!!

{ note: real talk I started this in august, finished it in december and now it’s january??? if it seems ooc for andrew atp idc bc I’m TIRED & REFUSE to work on it anymore 😭😭

I tried to make this as fluffy as possible!! however obviously neiman is a self destructive person and suffers abuse at the hands of fletcher :( bc of that warnings posted below, they seem worse than they are but better safe than sorry!!

warnings: censored antisemitic/homophobic slurs (author is Jewish & queer), mentions of PTSD, a car accident, nightmares, blood, vomiting.., sex mentioned like once

reader: no gender is mentioned for the reader!!, musician!reader mentioned }

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

He definitely likes affection but he would be really shy to initiate it with you. I think he’s very hesitant, like, he would brush your hand with his while you’re taking a walk… but he won’t hold it…he’s leaving it up to you to take the plunge.

He would want to hold your hand, have his arm around you, put his head on your shoulder, put his hand on your knee/thigh.. that kind of thing :) It will just take a while for him to really build up the confidence to DO it.

…

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Uhhh…Andrew doesn’t have friends, he says it straight up: he doesn’t see the use. (Whether or not I believe that is just defence mechanism doesn’t matter rn, the point is… a friendship would be hard to start with him.)

“Friendly acquaintance” would be the way to go. I honestly think the best way to become Andrew’s friend is to be in the same social situation as him. If you were in a class together either in high school or Schaffer, if you played together in Nassau band, if you were in the same study group…those kinds activities would force you to spend time together and let him warm up to you.

I really feel like building a sense of familiarity with him would lay a good foundation— saying hello and goodbye to him everyday, smiling at him, little things like that would make him notice you, like… oh!.. that person again.. :)

From there, you could start conversations with him and sort of let him feel it out. If you really want him to like you, lay it on thick with the compliments. Say he has a good taste in music, or that you heard him play sometime and he’s talented, just… anything. Any nice thing you can say about him— say it.

Andrew loves compliments, (the way he smiled when Fletcher compared him to Buddy Rich!!! 🥹🥹) he really doesn’t get them often between his emotionally distant family and school (in fact he usually gets trashed 😕) so he absolutely relishes in them.

Once the two of you establish a friendly school-mate relationship, you could take it further by going out to see a movie in the cinema, lending each other CDs… little things that friends do to build it up and let him see that you care and actually want to spend time with him :)

…

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

God, yes. Andrew is totally touch starved and is just DYING for a little affection :(

Remember how he watched Connolly brush his girlfriend’s hair out of her face?

Remember how he smiled when Nicole nudged her foot against his under the table?

He needs those things, so badly, those little touches, that little bit of love and reassurance. And to cuddle you, to be cuddled…? He could die happy. He would want to cuddle chest-to-chest, as in the two of you facing one another on your sides, arms around each other 🥺

…

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

He’s not ready for all that yet, not even close. The two of you are so young, you have your whole life ahead of you, and he’s just getting started. He has a career to think about… he wants to tour, playing music… he’s not ready to be tied down right now.

He’s happy to be your boyfriend, nothing more. Like, the most he would do is move in with you, maybe get a little pet together like a fish or a turtle… but marriage or kids is not where his head is at. He hasn’t thought about it, and would be shocked if you did.

As for his habits, he’s not the most organized or cleanly…I mean, he’s a busy guy. It’s not that he has a ton of stuff, it’s just that he doesn’t have the time or energy to keep his things in a consistent, contained space.

…

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

There are a few break up situations I could see happening…

⁃ It fizzled out (mutual):

The two of you had a relationship before the original timeline of the movie, like he was your boyfriend in high school. You would be really excited for him when he got accepted into Schaffer!

However, you knew that the situation wasn’t ideal for you to have a thriving relationship… maybe you took a gap year, maybe you got into a less prestigious university, maybe you had to move and were doing long distance…either way, the two of you couldn’t spend a lot of time together anymore.

It went okay at first, you really missed him and the two of you would text and talk on the phone a lot, if you could you would visit in person on some weekends. Then slowly, his messages became more dry. He didn’t say much on the phone and seemed to not listen to what you were saying. He stopped asking to see you so much, or “didn’t have time” to hangout… Eventually he replied less and less, stating that he was really busy with music now… then stopped answering you all together, not texting you back, not answering your calls, not listening to your voicemails… essentially he ghosted you time and time again. You did the same, whether you were focusing on school work or a job… the two of you grew apart.

It was a mutual decision between the two of you to end things, the stress of your failing relationship was just too much for both of you.

⁃ Nicole 2.0 (he dumps you):

A beat for beat recreation of the Nicole situation. He started dating you right as he got into Studio Band, and then broke things off with you to “focus on his career.” If you didn’t study music ( just like her) he would say that “you could never understand what it’s like to be a musician” or something like that.)

⁃ He became your rival (you dump him):

Originally, the two of you were in Nassau Band together. When he switched he became very snobbish about your abilities and the level that Nassau was playing at compared to Studio.

Your band was “cute”, as Fletcher said.

Not bad, just…well, you wouldn’t be playing Lincoln Center anytime soon…

Oh you “practiced really hard”, huh? Well he had blood dripping down to his elbows yesterday… You want him to look over your charts…really? This is the song you need help with?… okay…

Finally you’d snap at him for being so mean. It’s not like he was any better than you. That comment would NOT go over well, he’d tell you that he had bigger things to focus on than you now that he could start playing “for real.”

This would hit especially hard. “For real”? So Nassau band wasn’t “real”?

You were in it…so what, you weren’t good enough? He definitely has a superiority complex about the whole thing, stating that he clearly had something that you didn’t…why else would he be picked?

At that point you would have had enough. You would dump him right then and there, he may be a good drummer, but you weren’t gonna kiss his ass any more.

…

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Like I said, he’s down to be your boyfriend. You’re exclusive and you have a good relationship as it is. He’s happy with that, and wouldn’t want to get married to you any time soon. If this whole music thing really takes off… well he could be travelling the country…and where would you be? At home? That wouldn’t sit right with him.

So yeah, he doesn’t have any plans for a proposal in the near future. Rest assured, he does love you! But if you asked him to marry you he would have to say no. 🙃

…

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Physically? Extremely so. Andrew would never, ever be agressive with you. He would honestly be constantly nervous about doing something you didn’t like.

Like I said, he’s shy and touch starved…he’ll take whatever YOU give him. He isn’t pushy about affection at all, he’s not in a position to be making demands, anyways.

In the off chance that he makes you uncomfortable, he will back down immediately and be really embarrassed.

Remember how quickly dropped it when Nicole acted like she didn’t want to go out with him? Yeah, it would be like that. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry…I’m so sorry…”

If you’re not in the mood for cuddling, or kissing, or sex it’s a non-issue. He would never be upset with you about turning him down, or try to force you into it.

Whenever he touches you it’s extremely delicate. If you like a tighter hug, or a deeper kiss you’re going to have to tell him because it’s just not in his nature.

Emotionally, he can get a bit prickly if he’s pushed to it. It’s clear that he likes to argue (“None of us knew Buddy Rich, that’s the point.”) but he tries to keep that side of himself hidden from you as long as he can.

Even when he’s upset at you…he saves all the roughness for himself, and will throw himself into his work to let it out.

The gruelling hours he spends practicing, bandage after bandage covering his fingers, the blood blisters, the calluses, the ice water… that’s for him. All for him.

…

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Yes he does! Andrew would hug you whenever he saw you, at the very least to say hello and goodbye. When you first started dating no matter HOW BADLY he wanted to touch you he treated you like you were made of glass; his hugs were loose…he would barely envelope you and would let go too fast :/ buuuut he eventually learns to not be so guarded around you and give a proper hug.

His hugs are still gentle though. They’re cheek to cheek (unless you’re much shorter than him, then your cheek will be pressed more against his upper chest) and he puts his arms around your back, rarely your waist…(because he views touching your waist at as more suggestive)

…

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

It would take while. I’m not convinced he ever said it to Nicole, we never see it. Is it crazy to say at least 6 months?…. Idc I’m saying it. 6 months.

…

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

I think he’s a self-pitying, sulky kind of jealous. Like, he’ll see you talking and laughing with someone who’s clearly flirting with you and he gets this sinking feeling in his stomach.

It’s like torture, watching the way you chuckle at their jokes, the way their hand brushes your arm playfully, the way they eye you up and down. Ugh…did you seriously not notice it? They’re being so obvious…or did you know? Did you like it? Did you like them? Fuck, what if you left him…

Andrew won’t say anything about it in the moment, but when you’re finally done talking to the flirt, you’ll see that he’s not happy. You don’t know why exactly…but you know something’s up.

…

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

I honestly don’t think Andrew had that much kissing experience before he met you…but he’s learned a little bit. He kisses softly & slowly, mostly closed-mouth.

Kissing your lips or the back of your hands would be his favourite :) & he particularly likes when you kiss his cheek ( and neck 🤭)

…

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Ehhhh… he’s okay, I guess. I don’t know if he would really know what to do or say around a young child. I could definitely see him warming up to it though, especially if you have a younger sibling/cousin/etc that you’re close with (as long as they aren’t an iPad kid.)

I think overall he would get along better with tweens & teens, especially if they’re kind of soft-spoken and like music too.

…

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Expect alarms early in the morning and him fumbling around in the dark to turn them off. Not only does he go to bed late but he gets up at the crack of dawn for extra practice time. (At first you begrudgingly accept the fact that’s he’s choosing his music over you in that moment…especially if you’re not living with him— but either way you would learn to get used to it.)

He would adore it if you took a hot shower with him and had some breakfast but if you’re not a morning person he gets it— he’d make sure to leave a fresh pot of coffee/tea for you and kiss your forehead while you stay warm and cozy in the bed.

…

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

If it’s just a normal a night in, Andrew has a specific routine. He would….

⁃ spend a few hours each evening practicing and going over his charts

⁃ then help you make dinner, eat and talk about your days…he would tell you what he’s been working on lately, what breakthroughs he’s had, what he’s struggling with, what his plans are….

⁃ watch a movie/tv with you until you get too sleepy and turn in for the night.

⁃ then he spends a few MORE hours listening to his music (with headphones, don’t worry) to memorize it and make notes

⁃ he’d also take some time to write some of his own stuff

⁃ and THEN only when he’s satisfied with his progress— which could be anywhere from 1-4am —will he slip into bed with you and sleep </3

…

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

He reveals things slowly, little bits of vulnerability come out as you get to know each other— especially if you’ve just been vulnerable with him (“…I still go to the movies with my dad.”)

I think Andrew would get skittish about over sharing, especially if it’s really serious stuff. He doesn’t love to talk about himself in the first place so the prospect of traumadumping on you mortifies him.

I also think he would get overwhelmed if you did that to him so don’t let it all tumble out in one conversation.

…

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Andrew is (for the most part) patient and a people pleaser… he puts up with a LOT of bullshit. Yes, he does have his moments when he’s really pushed to the edge but between his unsupportive family and cutthroat peers…he’s developed thicker skin.

He would not be easily angered by you, and I think even when he does become angry with you he won’t yell at you— because he knows how it feels to be screamed at…he wouldn’t do that to you :(

…

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He has a really good memory. If he can memorize tons of musical information then he can memorize things about you too.

The question is, would he?

As he said to Nicole“…when I do spend time with you, I'm gonna be thinking about drumming. And I'm gonna be thinking about jazz music, my charts, all that.”

Soooo would he actually listen to you?.. I would say… sometimes. It’s not that he doesn’t WANT to pay attention to you, it’s not that he doesn’t WANT to remember things, it’s just that there’s so much going on up there…he’s not very good at staying on track with it.

But it’s okay! He’s developed a habit of writing things down. He started doing when you first met, just little things that he wanted to remember about you. Your middle name, your birthday, your favourite food…and it’s developed into a whole-ass FILE all about you. Just all the things you’ve told him that he found interesting or important. Obscure trivia, your funny shower thoughts, what book you’re currently reading… it’s a bit obsessive but he can’t store all this information in his brain, so there it goes. Not a perfect system, but he’s trying.

…

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

I think he would cherish a moment where he was really vulnerable with you. It’s hard to pinpoint just one…I think the first time you saw the intensity of his stress?

When you found out that he punched a hole through his drums. You had seen the bag of ice in the bathroom. You had seen his hands. You had seen the bags under his eyes and you just… beckoned him closer and gave him a hug.

He was a bit surprised. He had expected you to ask a million questions about what happened, to scold him for not answering his phone when you had been calling, to shy away from the blood… but you didn’t. You just held him. The two of you were silent for a while before you helped disinfect and wrap the wounds on his hands, kissing his knuckles, rubbing the insides of his wrists.

He really appreciated you in that moment. The quiet, unconditional love that you had showed him that night meant more to him than any grand gestures. <3

…

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

I feel like due to his trauma with… everything, he’s become pretty defensive. He’s had things thrown at him, he’s been hit in the face, he’s been degraded and demeaned, screamed at… he would 100% be your first protector and would be hyper aware of how people treat you. Not necessarily in a “anyone who looks at you wrong is gonna get beat up” way, but he would never ever want you to feel unsafe or upset because of someone else.

Anyone giving you a hard time is getting told off by him, not so much threats but like “hey, we don’t want any trouble, why don’t you stop being such a dick/bitch?” type stuff. And yeah, if it really came to it, he would fight someone for you. It’s not really his style but as we’ve seen he can be pushed to violence.

As for you… well he would want the same, someone who defends him against his aggressors and naysayers.

Someone who tells off the guys in Nassau band that made fun of his drumming, and his conductor for overlooking him.

Someone who gives Tanner shit for hogging the set, and yelling at him about the stupid folder. Someone who chews out Fletcher for how obsessive he’s made Andrew.

Someone who tells his family to listen to him when he speaks…

He just wants to feel valued and loved :(

…

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Not a ton when dating, which is neither good or bad. Andrew is a very casual guy. He likes to catch a movie, he likes to pop into jazz clubs and get a couple of drinks. Those are his favourite kinds of dates, the kind where you sit around with some snacks & drinks and just sort of…vibe?

There are things I’m sure he’d love to do with you, but I feel like they wouldn’t involve much planning from him. They would be somewhat spontaneous. He saw a flyer downtown for a record sale? You’re going. A new book store opened up near the campus? Why not check it out? His dad scored a couple of tickets to an art gallery? You’ll make good use of them!

For an anniversary, he will make sure to do something that will take a bit more effort, to show he cares.

I think he’d try to make you dinner. If this seems like it’s coming out of left field HEAR ME OUT!!

Personally I headcanon him to be a pretty good cook. Like, it’s not his passion or anything but I think that (I’m projecting here!!) being in a single parent household would force someone to step up their game, in a culinary sense.

His dad is not shown to be a great cook (i.e the overcooked meatloaf) soooo I feel like there would be many situations in which Andrew would have to feed himself, either because his dad’s cooking was bad or because he didn’t have time/wasn’t there to prepare something for his son.

Anyways, I feel like he’d make something simple…dare I say it…homemade pizza? I 100% believe that not only is it his favourite food (we see him eat it twice ☝️) but it is stupidly easy to make, and would be a no brainer meal for a young guy to cook on his own (especially if the ingredients were ready made like jarred/canned sauce.)

Okay, now I think gifts are where he sort of kills it.

Andrew’s a musician, and a music buff right? (For jazz, at least) so he’d probably be dating someone with a good music taste. I can TOTALLY see him getting you some awesome music related gifts related to your favourite musicians.

If you like to own physical copies of your music he would buy you tons from your favourite musicians…CD’s, vinyl, cassette; whatever you like.

If you prefer equipment he would get a little turntable, a super retro Walkman, some good headphones/earbuds, nice speakers/a stereo… he just wants you to be able to enjoy your music!! <3

…

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Well…

⁃ he’s passive to a fault & is unable to stand up for himself

⁃ he doesn’t make/maintain eye contact (he’s so me..)

⁃ he pushes down his emotions until they burst

⁃ he’s too obsessive about his hobbies

⁃ he overworks himself until he has a mental/emotional or physical breakdown

⁃ he pushes away people who care about him (Nicole, his dad…)

⁃ he “doesn’t see the use” in making friends

⁃ he is self righteous about the fact that he’s a musician, and brags about it

⁃ argumentative!

⁃ he’s overly competitive (with Tanner, Connolly, Dustin & Travis)

…

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

He was more insecure when he was younger, like 13-16. Andrew grew fast and adjusting to growth spurts during puberty wasn’t always easy for him. Being tall and thin made him a bit gangly, which in turn made his gait and mannerisms feel and look kind of awkward…

He was totally that kid who didn’t know how to take care of his wavy/curly hair (if you’ve seen younger pictures of Miles Teller you know exactly what I mean) so I feel like he had a really hard time trying to “tame” it, and got really frustrated with all his little cowlicks and frizz 🥺

At this point though, I think he’s kind of gotten over it… if he’s going to be recognized for anything, it’s his talent, not his looks…so he really doesn’t care what anyone thinks.

…

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Ehh…no..? Sorry, but like, really…he was all too ready to dump Nicole the second that he got an opportunity to play music “seriously.” The way he broke it off with her was very cold, and to the point. (Yes, he looked longingly at her phone contact once, yeah he called her and apologized… But that doesn’t mean he wanted *her* back, as her own person. I honestly think he was just feeling lonely, and/or realized no one would come to see him play at the JVC Fest besides his dad. Just a personal theory there!)

Listen…he may love you… he may miss you…it would really fucking suck to break up with you. But he does not need you per se. He is super individualistic — to a fault — which leads him to isolate himself. He would not feel any less “whole”without you there, and that doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about you, he just doesn’t believe in that “my other half” kind of romance.

…

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Not really random: Andrew is Jewish.

This is based on a few things:

1. Miles Teller (Andrew’s actor) has Jewish ancestry (1/4. His paternal grandfather is Russian-Jewish. Also yes, I believe in patrineal Jewish people. & jewornotjew.com identifies him as “borderline jew” which is incredible. )

2. Paul Reiser, (Andrew’s father’s actor) is Romanian-Jewish.

3. His last name, Neiman is an Ashkenazic variant on the name Neumann.

4. In the film, Fletcher calls Andrew a “h*mie fuck”, a derogatory term for a Jewish person. While he uses other slurs for Andrew and other students (like “f*ggot”) this one only appears once — in reference to Andrew, which I believe is extremely targeted.

( Bonus: 5. I’m Jewish, let me have this. )

…

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

(This one hurts ☹️) As seen with Nicole, Andrew wants to be with someone who is driven and passionate. They need to know what they want to do, how they want to do it, and a plan to make it happen. He likes people who have big dreams, intense hobbies, “5 year plans”.

If his partner is generally indecisive or unmotivated for too long… sorry, it just won’t work. He’s rehearsed and delivered that break up speech once, he can do it again.

He would however support whatever it is you want to do, when you decide (even if he honestly finds it silly…) Just as long as you love it and are putting the work in!

…

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Andrew is a really light sleeper, and has frequent nightmares.

He probably has PTSD…his main ones are about the car crash. He was extremely lucky that all of his injuries were superficial. His subconscious often delves into more serious possibilities. What if he permanently mangled his limbs, or worse, his spine and could never play the drums again? What if he was paralyzed? What if suffered brain damage? What if he was comatose? What if he even died that day? What if, what if, what if? His anxious mind never lets him escape all of the morbid details of what might have happened..

He also had a lot of nightmares about screwing up really important performances. Sometimes it was THE performance, the one in Dunellen. After the fact, he replayed that day in his mind over and over, and it was no different when he was asleep.

The way his body ached as he ran, blood and sweat dripping down his forehead, his palms, his back. The way his head pounded in a way that made him dizzy and made his vision fuzzy. The way his chest felt tight, waves of nausea ebbing and crashing in his stomach.

Sometimes it was a perfect recreation, him bursting in late, dropping his drumstick, scrambling to grab it from the floor. Him keeling over the drums, body broken and exhausted. Fletcher firing him. The tackling, the screaming, the crying.

That day was a nightmare within itself.

Sometimes the dream strayed from reality. In some versions, he arrived too late…and Connolly or Tanner played the part. Watching them perform it perfectly while he sat there, battered and bloodied as he stewed, turning their pages… it was almost worse than what had really happened. (Yes, it’s selfish… but if he didn’t get to play, no one should have. It was HIS part.)

In other similar nightmares, it’s random performances, with random mistakes. Forgetting his sheet music, breaking his drumsticks, fumbling his fills, being off tempo… then there were weirder things, like tripping when he got up to take a bow, wetting his pants, throwing up mid-song… classic nightmare fuel.

This poor boy will never have a peaceful night :(

…

{note: aaaaand that’s it! I’m considering writing for him a bit more but since this one took SO LONG it will probably be some more small headcanons & the like :p}

[lostthenfoundmyself]

Someone reblogged to one of my posts ranting about how “goy” is a slur. Debated whether to respond or not, but ultimately this is so ridiculous that it’s probably not worth feeding the trolls. Posting it here as a compromise to myself, because I’m actually very bad at shutting up.

It’s not a slur. Just isn’t. It’s a Yiddish word. Is gentile a slur? Because it’s literally the same thing, except it got adopted by Christians.

The idiot repeats the word multiple times without censoring it, if it was actually a slur you’d expect them to censor it or at least tw in the tags.

I used the word exactly once on my blog, in this post, in a way that was clearly just me being informal and not me insulting non-Jews in general. I said that “your average goy” probably doesn’t know what a pogrom is. As a statement of fact. Not as in “ooo goys are horrible,” not in an othering or pejorative sense. I don’t know about all the massacres of Confucian scholars or if they had any special name. Like, this is just pointing out a lack of information, not insulting.

Some people using a word pejoratively does not make it a slur. They brought up a bizarre example (possibly a purposely-misrepresented reference to people calling people in the anti-Israel movement “sheep” though who knows what’s going through this person’s head?) of the word being used that way. Well, I’ve seen people compare Jews to a pestilence and other stuff I’m not gonna say. And you know what? “Jew” still isn’t a slur!

Also told me to stop “begging ‘goyish sympathy’ for Israeli crimes.” Dude, if it’s a slur, stop using it. And also, um, I clearly stated in my tags that I was not tagging it with the normal related tags because it was just a personal vent. I tagged it with jumblr tags and antisemitism as a warning. I did not ask for your sympathy. I did not ask for you to interact with me. If you don’t want to see thoughts like mine don’t hang out on the tags “jumblr,” “Jewish,” “antisemitism,” and “am yisrael chai.” Block them or something idc. Like I’m sorry, but that post is so insanely easy for unsympathetic gentiles (is that better?) to avoid.

And the “you and your people are not special?”(Hmm…doesn’t seem to be talking about Israelis here seeing as I’m American…so much for the “just antizionist! uwu” crowd!) I never said we were. All I think is that Jews deserve the same rights and protections and respects afforded to other ethnicities. Self-determination. The right to self-defense. Acknowledgement of our basic humanity.

But that’s too much to ask for some people, isn’t it?

[mothmanssweetsucculentass]

Bloody Painter Headcanons

Did y’all miss these? Idc if this seems like a weird direction to go from my past two HC lists, I’ve always loved Helen as a character and I just went and read up on all the compiled lore DeluCat made of him years ago, and I got some HCs fresh in my mind!

I used THIS YouTube video from DeluCat herself as my main source, assume anything I don’t list/discuss here is filled in by anything here. I’m actually really impressed that she did so much research on different serial killers, psych ward operations, and violent crimes to make Helen as realistic as possible.

Expect canon typical horror/mature topics being discussed from this point forward, nothing is censored beyond this point!!!!

Roughly about 25, give or take a few years

STRICTLY he/him, will react violently if anyone calls him different pronouns, especially feminine ones

Despite this, he’s definitely not cis (it’s actually canon that he’s agender! Friendly reminder that pronouns =/= gender)

Like bro you were literally raised to have a gender crisis. Everyone point and laugh at the egg

Jeff used she/her for him once as a joke and he still has deep scars from what Helen decided to do to him

Like I shit you not, Helen took a sizable chunk of skin out of Jeff’s back, and only stopped because Eyeless Jack physically had to hold him back until Jeff left his line of sight

You wouldn’t even expect such violent outbursts from this guy considering how normally calm he is

Barely talks at all tbh

Like, he’ll interact politely with most of the residents of the mansion and isn’t turned off by conversation, but don’t expect him to hold a full conversation if he deems you boring or unimportant

Which tbh he probably will, he’s not super big on friendships considering how his last one went

Mostly prefers to keep to himself and is often in the more run down/abandoned wings of the manor

Has a naturally more feminine looking face (long eyelashes, smaller nose, etc) and does nothing to try and fix/hide it

Has converted one of the dilapidated rooms into an “art” studio

And by art. Heh. Let’s just say. Corpses

No actually he really just has an entire room dedicated to some of the most fucked up art a person is capable of making

Sculptures made out of bones and flesh, jars filled with coagulated blood submerging his taxidermy projects, eyeball jewelry, teeth jewelry, paint made from pummeled organs and flesh, brandings and etchings on stretched human skin, plushies made of human hair, he’s got it all

He also makes more “normal” art, which in reality is just more traditional mediums that still depict his usual obsessions with violence

Has gotten used to the scent of rot and decay like pretty much every resident has, but is one of the few who enjoys it

Is very selfish, self centered, and has an ego larger than Texas

Him and Ben have a somewhat transactional relationship; Helen films all the depraved torture and crafting he enacts and shares it with Ben, and Ben prints out news articles of Helen’s crimes for Helen to make art with, or just look at to admire his handiwork

ZERO empathy. His morals heavily align with the BEN AI, and even somewhat Slenderman’s

Hates animals. Not cause he’s scared of them or anything, but because he finds their existence useless

…unless he’s using it for fucked up taxidermy

LOVES torture the same way Eyelss Jack loves vivisections

One of his favorite things to do is rip a person’s fingernails out one by one, and then severing the hand and using the bleeding nail beds as the world’s most fucked up large paintbrush

Besides art, he loves to read. Kind of a given considering he’s basically the quiet kid

Loves depraved horror novels and serial killer memoirs/autobiographies

Can speak fluent Chinese, and often shit talks other pastas to their faces without them even knowing

Kagekao learned Chinese just so the two could gossip

Similar to EJ, has a more “buff” physique and has been seen breaking bones effortlessly. When you’ve been murdering steadily for over a decade at this point you kinda just learn where the weak/break points are in the human body

Can improvise anything into a weapon

Actually he really loves killing people with unconventional murder weapons. Scenes are often found with things like metal straws lodged in a victim’s sternum, or the top of a bowling pin shoved down a victim’s throat so far their jaw broke and the victim subsequently choked on their own blood from their shattered teeth

He’s gotten so good at this that the other pastas will literally make a game out of it and challenge him to use an outlandish item as a weapon the next time he kills

“Okay okay how about a bong” “are you being serious right now” “just answer the question art boy” “twice, actually. Though technically I think one of them was a really weird ceramic frog instead. That, or a pcp pipe.” “Awesome”

Hates removing his mask around anyone he’s not acquainted with

Gets reeeaaalll fuckin quiet too

Has gotten so good at being stealthy he doesn’t even alert or startle people like Eyeless Jack does

Surprisingly enough he actually gets enough sleep compared to most of the other residents of the manor

He’s also able to get comfortable and sleep practically anywhere, in the weirdest positions too. Is often found passed out in his studio sitting up, or laying on the floor covered in metal torture tools and bones

Despite his lack of empathy, his blood boils and he seethes if anyone dares to mess with Sally

The first day he stumbled across the manor and introduced himself by what the media called him, Sally gave him a drawing of himself, and he vowed on the spot to look out for the little snot

Is already a naturally patient person, and is incredibly patient and gentle when explaining how to do specific art things to Sally

Jokingly “agrees” with Sally about not liking doctors whenever she’s around eyeless Jack (though in his case he hates psych doctors vastly more than physical ailment doctors)

Back to the patience thing: will stalk a victim for months to toy with them. He has an eternity to do this to people with his newfound abilities granted to him by slenderman, why rush?

Helen 🤝 BEN/Ben = malewhore mansplain manipulate

Will say anything to get what he wants

Thinks in a very transactional and technical way. If you don’t do or offer something to benefit him first, he doesn’t even see you as a person

Is friends/close with: Sally, Eyeless Jack, BEN/Ben, Jason, Ann, and KageKao

Has a tolerable relationship with/is very neutral about: Masky, Hoody, Jane, Liu, Puppeteer, LJ, and Slenderman

Doesn’t get along with/HATES: clockwork, Nina, and Jeff

Him and Jason often collaborate together on pieces involving still living people

Him and Ann have a mutual distaste for doctors/hospital settings, and can often be found stitching up their wounds (or sometimes in Helen’s case a piece involving human flesh) together

Ace, heavily questioning if he’s aro too

He finds Ann aesthetically pleasing to look at, but his thoughts don’t go any further than that. Often uses her as figure practice (with her consent)

Is mainly fascinated by the fact she’s a walking sentient corpse

Tried cannibalism once, wasn’t a fan

Tried going to both Eyeless Jack and Ann once during a dysphoria-spurred panic attack and begged for bottom surgery

“But why tho” “I’m ace. I don’t need it. Don’t women who never want to get pregnant get rid of their uteruses anyways?” “Well, yes, but-“ “so help me god get this thing off my body”

Obviously one of the few times he actually doesn’t appear calm and put together to people. Tries his damn hardest to hide these panic attacks unless around Eyeless Jack or Ann. Would be mortified if Ben, Sally, or any of the loud judgmental pastas saw him in this state

Gives a lot of his full corpse art pieces a physical sex swap

You’re dead but hey free top surgery and you get to be fucked up art

Honestly doesn’t give a shit about symbolism, makes art of whatever he wants/feels like and makes it pretty clear there’s no hidden meaning

[betty-talks]

Bro I can’t with this tiktok ban

Idc if this means I’m addicted I’m genuinely angry and depressed that we can’t do anything and have to just sit back and watch as the government censors us over what?? That china knows I have an obsession with celebrity men?? It’s fucking infuriating and so sad that I can’t do anything about it. Like I feel like I’m suffocating. All my saved videos and drafts are just gonna be gone like that. And he old crusty government is just

I can’t I have no more words. I’m just gonna keep crying

[sunshineofyourlovee]

All of this doesn’t make sense. Daisy says that Louis wants privacy for Freddie and then complains about how Freddie’s photos were / are being used in the last years. When she and her family never lost a chance to post photos of that kid everywhere.

Since his first days of life, Freddie was exposed in a terrificant way. We had post partum photos, we had photos of him in the baby carriage taken by the paps — some photos were not true but they were meant and taken to represent the real Freddie. So to expose Freddie —. We had Louis mentioning him during concerts and we had “Louis” making his paternity a trait of his personality talking about his “good lad” everywhere. We had Freddie in every Christmas photoshoot AND Freddie had a central part in Louis’ documentary.

Freddie didn’t appear yesterday and his mediatic exposition, as the hate, the comments and people’ obsession towards him, didn’t start yesterday. All of this kept going on for years. Ten years. And now, after ten years, Louis wants privacy — and he is asking for it through his sister??? —.

All of this doesn’t make sense. I don’t know the reason why this is happening. Maybe Daisy wants to seek attention. Maybe she is just trying to help his brother and she is carrying a part of the weight of this farce — she seems to be the only one doing this now because Lottie and Phoebe’s contents about Freddie are less since Christmas 2023. Or maybe they had / have other things to focus on like their pregnancies —. Maybe this narrative about privacy depends on the fact that Freddie looks like Brett everyday more — and this similarity shouldn’t exist because Brett is not Briana’s biological dad / Freddie’s biological grandfather —. Maybe now Freddie is old enough to say no and to choose if and when he wants his photos to be shared online — I really hope this is the reason —. Whatever the reason is, all of this leaves me 🤷🏻‍♀️ because we know that if Tomlinsons really want to keep privacy about something/someone, they know how to do it very effectively. If they want to hide something/someone, they know how to do it. And why this need to post a photo of Freddie and prove that he was with them during the holidays (apparently), even censoring it in order to post it??

Personally idc about the gaslighting. I’ve been in this fandom for so many years that the gaslighting from the sisters or from the fandom doesn’t touch me anymore. Also, the fact that we don’t know what is going on, who is doing what and why something is happening, prevents me from feeling “offended”. But I’m annoyed and bored by this situation and by the lies. Without a doubt. 🙄

[prettyboypunkz]

Hey can you not use f@keboy to get around censoring please. I'm a trans guy and have that word blocked cos its really dysphoric and uncomfortable to me to read the posts accidentally. I respect your right to enjoy your kink, but don't make it come up on my TL like that.

Just block the censored version too then?? Or block me?? Idc bro not my problem. I censored it in that post so that people who have that word blocked could see it….. because it’s not pro detrans THATS THE WHOLE POINT…If I was genuinely posting pro detrans stuff and using it I’d get where you’re coming from but that post was the EXACT OPPOSITE.

ALSO JUST DONT READ THE POST IF YOU SEE THE WORD??

Sorry to get all worked up or whatever but like bro… you come into my house….

Also Idgf if you “respect my right” or not, and the only reason I’m responding and not blocking you is so you can keep getting off to my posts if you want to, which I’m assuming you do since you messaged me instead of just blocking me

[jonkwatsom]

Hello! Name’s John.

I’m from @petrichoriansys and made this blog to document my random moments of insanity.

Our system info is in our main’s pinned, but in short - I’m a fictive of John Watson (mainly bbc with some aspects from s&co and acd canon) in a polyfragmented DID system.

I use he/him pronouns and I’m a bisexual adult alter (though physically our system is 17, keep that in mind while interacting).

You are free to dub yourself [blank] anon. Whether it be an emoji or a word or anything, just so I can know it’s you without you having to share your main blog.

I may make userboxes and things like that, so feel free to make requests!

More (such as DNI and stuff) below the cut! It’s long, sorry :,)

Please remember that I am an actual person. Don’t treat me like I am my source. Yes, I am connected to source, but I am a real person and he is an entirely fictional character.

Here’s my DNI:

- Endos + supporters.

- Syscourse exclusive blogs

- Comship, darkship, whatever you guys go by now. I don’t want any of that. Supporters ain’t welcome here, either.

- TERFs, homophobes, transphobes, all that stuff.

- NSFW blogs. I may be mentally an adult but I am in the body of a minor. My brain is still that of a 17 year old, despite it wanting me to believe I’m a grown adult.

- Radical anything. Idc what.

- Anyone who has an issue with in-sys dating. I have an in-sys partner and will talk about him.

BYF:

- I will likely swear. No warnings.

- I may reclaim slurs that I can actually reclaim, such as the f-slur. If that makes you uncomfortable and we interact frequently, you may ask for warnings. Otherwise, I’m gonna assume it’s fine and not put warnings.

- I don’t put warnings for spoilers, since my current hyperfixation has literally had no updates since 2017. If I ever post about something that is new, I will put spoiler warnings up until a week after release. After that, it’s not my problem.

- I may come off as pretty cold. It’s nothing personal, I’m just not super comfortable being buds with random people behind a screen.

- If we interact a lot, you are free to ask me to put warnings for specific things. However, I’m not gonna make accommodations for people I’ve interacted with once. It’s up to you to keep yourself safe, not me.

- If I ever post misinformation, please correct me. It’s difficult to tell nowadays what is and isn’t misinformation, and it’s likely that I will accidentally share misinformation.

- I will not censor things such as scars. Obviously gore and open wounds will have warnings but I will not be giving warnings for closed, healed scars.

- I am not my source. Do not ask me for medical advice. I am not a medical professional. I am just A Guy.

I’m not gonna tell non systems not to interact, just please be aware that a majority of these posts are not for you. I struggle with this disorder daily and Tumblr is the one place I can talk about it, so it will be the main focus of this blog. Our main has a lot more random and non-system related things.