#i’m just like. stoked. to go get to do all of the being alive things again

[mars-ipan]

it’s weird being in recovery after like 2 months of sickness and looking forward to being able to do all the little things you used to take for granted again

[apollyonsdarksecrets]

Too Much

Joel Miller X Afab!Reader

Summary: Just a Drabble about Joel being too big and making you take it because you were being a brat

Warnings: SMUT 18 + Only MDNI, Mean Joel, cussing, unprotected sex (p in v) dirty talk, Dacryphilia, size kink, rough sex, cream pie, slight breeding kink use of a few derogatory terms, after care, pet names, let me know if I missed anything!

Joel Miller Master List

A/n: I’m in the middle of writing two other stories and I just 🙃 have no motivation for either of them. So here is a little something to show I’m still alive and my brain is still rotted by this man.

*~*~*~*~*~*

You had begged, pleaded and even acted like a brat to get here, months and months of working up to this point and here you are, hips hovering over his lap, the head of his cock brushing your sopping cunt and you are suddenly rethinking everything you’ve done.

Joel sees it in your face, the way your eyebrows furrow and how you chew on your kiss bitten lower lip. “Well?” He starts, his smile dark as your eyes meet his. “Thought you wanted to ride me baby, go right ahead.”

“I-I am… I just…” You hesitate, glancing back down to his cock, it’s… big, too thick to wrap your hand around and his length is nearly to your belly button. The large mushroom head leaks precum and the veins prominent along his shaft pulse slightly. It’s intimidating really, but makes you clench nonetheless. “I didn’t… know you were so… well endowed...”

Joel laughs, a loud rumbling sound from his chest and you pout down at him. Your thighs shake with the effort of holding yourself up, hands splayed on his shoulders for support as his squeeze your hips.

“I told you, I needed to work you open for me, but no, you had to go and be a brat about it. Tellin all your little girlfriends how I don’t give you nothin’.” He sits up suddenly, his grip the only thing keeping you balanced as he’s suddenly in your face. Your eyes widen, holding your breath as his smile turns more devilish. His hooded gaze rakes over your naked body, the hunger there evident. Palpable even.

“I-I’m sorry.. I didn’t… I was just-.”

He tuts at you, a hand slipping up your back to circle your neck, holding you firmly in place. “You wanted it so bad, you’re gonna take it.”

He doesn’t give you time to process his words before he abruptly pulls you down, bucking his hips up at the same time. He thrusts into you in one fluid motion, burying himself to the hilt and you cry out. Pain blooms between your legs and tears collect in your lashes, your nails digging into his corded muscles.

“Fuck!” You hiss between clenched teeth, his grip unyielding as you wiggle and squirm against him, fighting to ease the burn.

“Shh, Shh baby. I know.” His voice is almost condescending, the fake pout of his lips mocking your own. “But you said you could take it and now look at you. Stretched out so pretty on my cock.”

Joel lifts you easily, your cunt clenching around him before he lets go, letting gravity do the work for him as you slide back down his length. The cry that leaves your lips is almost something you’d hear in a bad porno. You can feel every ridge and vein, feel the head of his cock sitting snuggly against your cervix making your body pulse.

“That’s right,” Joel drops his gaze from your teary eyes to where you are both connected, a low moan escaping his lips as he repeats his movements, your arousal coating his cock before it disappears back into your aching pussy. “Fuck baby you look so good like this.”

“J-Joel… s’too much.” You babble as the first tear escapes down your red cheek, only making him groan louder, fucking up into you with hard stokes.

“Wanna act like a brat, I’ll treat ya like one.” He growls, and suddenly he’s flipping your positions, your back now on the bed and he’s looming over you making your breath stutter.

Joel doesn’t ease up as his hands find the meat of your thighs and he practically bends you in half, fucking into you with a brutal pace that leaves you crying and clawing at the sheets.

“Knew this-fuck- knew this pussy would feel this good.” He pants, watching the tears stream down your face, ruining your mascara. He can feel your pussy clenching around him, rhythmic with your hiccuping breath. Joel can see the pain edging away, pleasure beginning to bloom as your eyes flutter slightly, head pressing into the mattress with each stroke.

“Pl-please… I… I can’t…” Your mouth falls open from a loud moan, his fingers having moved from bruising your thigh to rubbing lazy circles over your throbbing clit. “Joooel.” You whine, toes curling as your orgasm begins to bloom at the base of your spine, radiating out into your stomach.

He chuckles lowly, letting you bear more of his weight as his thrusts slow in speed but keep that punishing power. “Gonna cum already? Such a desperate fucking slut you can’t wait any longer?”

You shake your head vigorously, face scrunching as his fingers work faster, the sloppy sound of skin hitting skin filling the room above the whines and moans ripping your throat apart. “Please!”

“Oh you can do better than that, baby. Beg for it.”

Your eyes fly open, zeroing in on his face. His tussled curly hair, the deep chocolate color of his irises, the way his jaw clenches before relaxing again. Joel’s eyes hold a challenge, a dare even, that you won’t say no to him, that you’ll do exactly as he says.

And he’s right.

“Please, please I wanna cum so bad, I-I wanna cum on your cock so bad!” The sheer desperation in your quacking voice makes a shiver shoot down his spine, a deep, guttural moan ripping through his body into yours as he leans down, kissing you messily.

It’s not sweet, none of it is as his fingers double their efforts, and between teeth and spit you scream with the force of your orgasm. The tide of pleasure rolling over you as your back lifts what little it can off the bed, your thighs shaking against Joel’s sternum, fingers turning white around the sheets.

Your pussy convulses around his cock, sucking him in with a death grip that makes his hips stutter and his own body tense. He’s mumbling against your lips, something along the lines of “fuck baby” and “I’m about to cum” with curses and grunts sprinkled in between.

There’s no catching onto whatever it is though, not fully, as you ride your orgasm, the pounding of his cock making it last longer, making it more intense as you cry a muddled version of his name. Joel’s fingers slip from your abused clit, digging into your hip as he starts to moan louder, his head tipping back, muscles bunching under his skin as his orgasm rushes up on him.

“Gonna fuck you full of me, little girl, breed this little pussy like how it’s meant to be.” His words make your eyes roll, a whimper slipping past your lips when you feel the first pulse of cock. Stream after stream of hot release paints your velvety walls, and something in your body relaxes, your hips opening just that much wider to take it as he ruts against you.

Joel notices, because of course he does, and a soft cooe fills your ears making your lashes flutter. Your eyes are distant, like you aren’t quiet with him, as he continues to empty his spend into your throbbing cunt. “Sweet honey, this what ya needed? Just needed to be full of my cum to make you all submissive and sweet for me?”

All you can manage is a small nod, making him smile down at you. Joel pulls out fully leaving you to fill empty but placated, your legs falling to the bed as your eyes close.

Seconds or maybe minutes could of flown by when you’re suddenly awoken, a warm cloth pressing between your legs and the sound of Joel humming fills the room. He cleans you up and then himself before he comes back to the bedroom. You’ve curled up on your side, arm tucked under your head and breath heavy and even. He tucks himself in behind you, an arm wrapping around your waist and drawing you back against him.

He kisses the side of your head, content with the idea that you have learned your lesson.

[floradinterlunium]

Times Tae Debunked Tkkrs and Affirmed Jikook

I know a lot of Jikookers aren’t happy with Tae right now. They hold him responsible for stoking the fire that fuels Tkkrs. And Like I’ve previously stated I’m not one to police peoples feelings or opinions. Your anger is your own, same going for your opinions.However, in the spirit of peace and reconciliation I want to remind everyone of all the times Tae has intentionally and unintentionally debunked Tkk and affirmed Jikook…because he has done so more than any other member.

Tae has a personality that you either choose to hate or you choose to love because he’s an enigma. It’s often times difficult to know if he’s as oblivious as he seems, a genius mastermind that plays the airhead card, a free spirit or all of the above…my vote goes to all of the above! 

There are moments where it’s clear Tae is up to no good and is trying to serve JM and JK their just desert for abandoning him by exposing their location. Other times it seems like he has put zero thought into the implications of his words. However, regardless of his motives (or lack thereof) Tae is pretty good at playing games in the category of “softly exposing Jikook.”

So for funsies lets kick this off with one of Tae’s favorite games called…..

“Whose Room is It Anyway?”

When on tour it appears as though Tae never knows where other members rooms are. He’s either always messaging the group chat to find out where everyone is OR he’s just plain ole confused about whose room he’s in. 

Exhibit A. Osaka V live

I don’t think there’s a jikooker alive that hasn’t heard of this Vlive. However, When most here the words “Osaka” and “V-live” what typically comes to mind is JK clearly muttering the name “Jimin” whilst being butt naked in a dark room listening to sexy time music. 

However, what’s often overlooked is the how and the why we know this sensitive information. You see this gem of a jikook moment came to us for one reason and one reason only and that reason is Kim Taehyung and his childlike innocence (then). 

Tae has never been good at operating solo on his Vlives. He tends to run out of things to say and in this live that’s what happened. He ran out of things to talk about so he called on his fans to give him suggestions. They suggested he go to another members room. But Tae being Tae...didn’t know ANY of their room numbers! Don’t believe me...I have the receipts!

See he didn’t know any of the members room numbers. He texts the group chat to get members room numbers and I guess it was Jin that replied with the members room numbers. Not JK. Jin. Tae decided to go to JK’s room (my guess is because he can pull the hyung card on him and sort of voluntell him to go along) and he messaged JK to let him know he was coming but JK never responded. We know this because when he arrived JK asked him multiple ties what he was doing there. 

Now I won’t analyze this Jikook moment because it’s been analyzed enough. What I want to point out is how in this moment  Tae unintentionally debunked every Taekook claim because HE. DIDN’T. KNOW.JK’s. ROOM. NUMBER!!! 

I don’t know about you but I’m 100% certain that I wouldn’t need a third party to tell me where my boyfriends room was!

Now some may cry...this was just one time...he probably just forgot! And I would respond...haven’t you heard the news????? Tae is the grand champion of the game Who’s Room Is It Anyway!

Don’t believe me? Let’s take a look at a few more examples

Exhibit B. New Jersey Vlive

This moment is another famous Jikook Vlive most known for Jikooks tension. However, when watching this I also noticed that while Tkkers for some reason also like to claim this live as their own, Tae debunks them. I mean he again broadcast his lack of knowledge of where JK’s room is. Take a look for yourself down below .. .

Tae didn’t know whose room he was in. My guess is he thought it was either JM’s or JK’s room.

Now to be fare... a “valid” question does arise...and that question is if he didn’t know JK’s room number, how did he get there??

And to answer that question I’d say he could have done many things including but not limited to texting the group chat...but in reality its neither here nor there because this one simple fact remains...TAE WASN’T CERTAIN OF THE ROOM HE WAS IN! If he were dating JK he wouldn’t need to ask him...he’d know!

How’s the old saying go???

First time can be a mistake.

Second time is a choice.

Third time.. third time is the vminkook live

Exhibit C. Vminkook Live

Again another famous vlive with popular Jikook moments...the most popular moment being Jimin’s TMI where he exposed how frequently JK comes to his room. It was a funny moment...a funny moment that yet again Tae used to debunk Taekook by broadcasting how unfamiliar he is with JK’s room situation.

What boyfriend would so frequently be confused as to where his partner is sleeping? Moreover, why would that same boyfriend confuse his partners room for his best friends?? Hmmm??? Either JK is cheating on Tae with JM and has been for years or JK has never been Tae’s boyfriend!! I’d bet on the latter considering Tae’s jovial expression when admitting to the fact he never knows where JK’s room is!

First time is a mistake

Second time’s a choice

Third time is a habit...a habit that spells out the phrase “GET.OUT.OF.YOUR.IMAGINATION”

Now this next round of Tae Games is pretty spicy. The game is called-->

“Karma’s a B**H ”

When it comes to Jimin, Tae can sometimes act like a jilted bride. He doesn’t like it when Jimin “ditches” him for JK. When this happens Tae sometimes makes a point to call him out …

Exhibit A: The Salty Smirk

I’m not certain if this is Tae punishing JK for keeping his JM from him or punishment for JM for ditching him or BOTH? Either way Tae was not shy about exposing JM’s and JK’s whereabouts (at god awful hours). And he didn’t just expose where they were...he exposed why Jimin wouldn’t join him...

JM wouldn’t be joining Tae because JK wouldn’t let him. UM? What? Jungkook...the maknae, the member with the least amount of seniority is keeping JM, his hyung from hanging out with him on vlive? I don’t think people understand enough how much Tae exposed them here! And that smirk...he knew what he was doing!

It’s not just oh Jimin can’t come because he’s hanging out with JK...it’s no JM can’t come because JK won’t allow him! Let that sit with you for a second! “JK is stopping Jimin from coming!” Tae is strongly insinuating that Jikook’s power structure is outside the normal hyung dongsaeng dynamic.  Tae straight up destroyed any theory that he’s dating JK by exposing Jikook’s relational dynamics. The boy is chaotic!

Exhibit B & C

Again with exhibit B we have Tae exposing Jimin’s whereabouts and why he’s not with him. It seems like Tae is quite salty about getting left at the alter and JM always running off to be with JK?!/!?! Don’t believe me....look below!

Still don’t believe me? Here’s one more moment in which Tae is in the mood for chaos. 

Now, in this moment Tae doesn’t mention why Jimin decides not to join him at the gym but look at his face...look at that smirk!! Doesn’t it remind you of something else??? Maybe it reminds you of Exhibit A. It seems like he is itching to tell us why Jimin didn’t join him but this time chose not to say it aloud but definitely hints at...that smirk can only mean it’s something spicy.

And don’t we later learn that Jikook had many drinks that same night...because they were sending Hobi off??!!?! 

I mean this boy is chaos itself! and We may be like...what the hell happened to this Tae? The Tae that loved debunking his own ship and exposing Jikook!.! 

My response to that is I don’t doubt that Tae still exist seeing that the above photo is recent...he may be  chaotic and irking peoples nerves right now but he really has done a lot to show the world that him and JK are nothing but friends! He has directly debunked tkkers and indirectly debunked them SOOO MANY TIMES! The only way they’d believe him is if photos were leaked of him with someone else....wait! That already happened and they still don’t believe him... I guess now the only thing he can do is come out with it and say he’s dating Jennie...and hell he might! AFTER his album comes out there might be an announcement!? 

I’m actually crossing my fingers that they do make the official announcement after his album drops! But let’s wait and see. In the meantime I am holding my judgement because for years the above Tae is what we got and what we loved! 

There are so many more instances of him debunking his own ship and affirming Jikook but here are just the standouts!

[fisherrprince]

“Ch’ari. What are you doing.”

The aetheric silhouette that is the Warrior of Light freezes in the middle of hobbling across the hallway. “I am… getting… a drink?” He says. 

“Oh?” Y’shtola raises an eyebrow. 

His aether flickers. The shape inches forward slowly, as if she were a dinosaur and couldn’t see him if he moved really slow. “I am… getting a very specific drink. From… Othard.”

“Are you now.” 

“…You are getting me a very specific drink from Othard?” Ch’ari tries. 

Y’shtola reaches behind her for her staff, and Ch’ari turns and scuttles as fast as his body will take him back into his room where he’s supposed to be. 

-

Alisaie scowls. “I am bored.”

“No kidding,” Ch’ari whines. “When are we allowed to leave?!”

“I am allowed to leave tomorrow. You will be staying here until you have resolved not to be a fool and throw your life away for a victory lap,” Alisaie snaps, and then her expression turns down. “Or at least until you can walk again.”

“Seems hypocritical to me. They’re letting you out early.”

“I’m almost healed!”

“By the loosest definition.”

“It wasn’t even a wound, Ari.”

“Hm.”

“Look—“ Alisaie says, pride in being Not Bedridden stoked by his dismissals, and pushes her way out of her bed at Dawn’s Respite to march over to Ch’ari’s bed, indignant. And still, notably, a bit shaky, after concentrated lightning magic left her too hurt to stand. Ch’ari still thinks they’re all stupid, every Scion, right back at them, for not tending to their own injuries well enough to heal themselves before pouring almost the entire Ragnarok’s worth of aether into him. Stupid, dumb, idiots. They’d already saved the universe at that point. We don’t need eight incapacitated scions when we could have had just the one. 

“You look like a baby amaro,” Ch’ari says, instead of voicing any of those thoughts. “Like a newborn foal. Damnation, looks like you’ll have to stay here and keep me company.”

Alisaie flicks him — gently, even though he’s not even got a head wound. “Ari. I promise we’re not going anywhere. And you know if you asked him to, Alphinaud would stay with you for days reading fantasy novels or textbooks at you for entertainment.”

His ears droop. “I know. But he needs to sleep.”

“And so do you.”

“And so do I,” Ch’ari grumbles in concession. “I am just not used to not moving. I want to kill something.”

Alisaie coughs out a startled laugh, and Ch’ari grins. “Gods, as do I, but we have our orders! Two weeks. No travel, no fights.”

“Sneak a coblin in here when you get out of this joint and I’ll pay for your sweets for a month.”

“Not a chance.”

-

“Not that I doubt your s-sSS-killed hands, Krile, I would never. But do bandages need changing thisoften?”

“In this specific case, yes,” Krile says, clearly not willing to entertain him while he chatters distractingly. “Might I remind you you were falling apart before we got to you with healing magics, and therefore you will be suffering the consequences for as long as a normal wound takes to heal naturally.”

“Peachy,” Ch’ari groans. He should have been better at avoiding that dumb voidsent Zenos summoned, but it always hid right out of his line of sight until it pounced. Clearly, a cheater, even if its master wouldn’t do a thing like that. Nah, he’d challenge him head-on, evening the playing ground until it was just strength against strength, no tricks, no unfair advantage. Pure, untouched adrenaline, bloodlust, the hunger for feeling alive. 

… Ch’ari will not miss him. But he will think of their encounters as long as it takes him to find something like it, if he ever does. Which is exactly what the prince wanted, drat. He should have taken Zenos to the Gold Saucer. Maybe he’d get really into chocobo racing instead of death matches. 

He’s jolted out of his thoughts by a sharp tug in his ribs. “Ow!”

“Sorry! Sorry,” Krile says, already casting a light soothing glow over the sticky mess there. Ch’ari buries his head further into the pillow with a groan. 

The door creaks. “My, someone sounds grumpy they’re being tended to,” comes a voice, and Tataru trots in with a small box in her hands. Ch’ari’s ears perk up. 

“Am not grumpy, I’m injured. What’s that?”

“Medicine,” Tataru says bluntly, and then gets a sly grin. “And a handful of pastry fish, fresh from the oven.”

“Tataru you’re my favorite. Have I ever told you you’re my favorite? You are. Hands down,” Ch’ari says, already sniffing the air to catch the smell, his tail whacking the edge of the bed. “I don’t even care that it’s bribery to get me to drink that foul tincture, I love you.”

Tataru laughs, bright and open, and even Krile huffs a bit in amusement. 

-

Alphinaud is asleep when he wanders into the main rooms, and Ch’ari considers dropping something onto the table to wake him up, but decides against it. He’s not all that sure how mana works — or mana overexertion, or… well, Lyse called it a chakra, but Ari isn’t a monk, and he’s not sure what straining or breaking one of them entails. He just knows the kid needs to sleep a bunch to get his aether back, and Ari shouldn’t be startling him so bad he breaks something again. If that’s how that works. He’d rather not risk it. 

Instead, he wanders over to Estinien, who is brooding in his Dragoon Corner. Also seemingly asleep until one eye cracks open, trained on his approach. 

“Dragoon,” Ch’ari says.

“…Cat,” Estinien replies in greeting. Ari snorts, the joke he made about having nine lives clearly amusing or at least annoying the Elezen to this day. 

“Guarding your nest, are we? I didn’t think we’d see you stick around this long.”

Estinien grunts. “Aye. Under normal circumstances I’d rather be off by now. But as long as…” he frowns. It’s always difficult for him to differentiate between draconic instincts and his own, and then subsequently translate them into human words, something he and Ch’ari have only spoken of briefly when Nidhogg’s lingering presence wanted to clash with what was left of Hraesvelgr in Ch’ari’s body. Simultaneously feral and overtly made of higher thought, the presence of the dragon is as long-lived as the beasts themselves. “As long as my ward is in need of protection, I will stay,” he settles on. And then his expression squishes, pained. “And… the pink one threatened me if I were to leave without a clean bill of health.”

Ch’ari laughs, then covers his mouth quickly to muffle it. “Ah, the jailer. No escaping that.” 

“Indeed.”

-

“Raha, you need any help with anything?”

G’raha looks up from his books, surprised. The Warrior is standing over his shoulder, swath in bandages and a simple shirt and slacks, his tail swishing. “Do I need any help with anything?”

“Yes.”

“Well, no, I don’t think so… resigned to being monitored as we are, I have no new tasks which require my attention, and so…”

“Let me rephrase,” Ch’ari interrupts. “Please do you need help with anything.”

G’raha blinks. And then splits into a smile, ears giving a quick one-two wiggle. “My friend, I am quite sure we can find something to do. Something very calm and stressless, but something nonetheless. What is your opinion on magic circles?”

[greenhappyseed]

hi! i would like to know your headcanons about shigaraki or an alternate universe hero tenko.

Ohhh that’s a fun one! Hmm, I’m going to keep some Tenko headcanons to myself for now for fic writin’ reasons, but here’s a few ones I have, mostly based off canon:

If Tenko ends the story with the All for One quirk and his body modifications, I can see him using his power to help people remove or swap quirks that are dangerous to themselves or others, because he can absorb post-singularity quirks in a way that nobody else on the planet can. Tenko doesn’t harbor any negative associations with quirklessness, but he does know what it feels like to have a scary quirk that is itching to get out of you. He also knows how AFO and Dr. Garaki stole, combined, and manipulated quirks into ever more terrifying powers, and there’s something poetic about him using the All for One quirk to de-escalate.

Like he thinks Eraserhead is cool, so if he can erase someone’s quirk, allowing them to hug a family member for the first time? Or safely play with the family pet? Yeah, super cool.

I don’t see canon Tenko wanting to be a fist-fighting hero given everything he’s been through, and his violence-begets-violence beliefs.

But AU hero Tenko would totally dream of being on the hero billboard charts as a kid. He’d model himself after All Might and be every bit the All Might fanboy just like Izuku and Katsuki (and Koichi!) AU hero Tenko doesn’t have the jaded views that Tomura has towards hero society, and no AFO influence to stoke his worst attitudes.

If AU hero Tenko knew his grandmother (and Torino) trained All Might, and they’re still alive, then he’d definitely want them to train him too! His father would still disapprove, but in more of a “I want my son to be a successful businessman like me” way. Kotaro just doesn’t understand the world of long-haired spandex-clad pro heroes. He’s the dad asking his 14yo “do you even understand how insurance premiums work?” rather than “tell me more about Best Jeanist’s new ultimate move.” Tenko learns to nerd out with Uncle Might on the hero stuff. (Or…does he grow up with Uncle Toshi and not realize Toshi is All Might???)

As he learns to control the size and speed of his decay waves and particles, Tenko can do things like create smokescreens, set perimeters for fire breaks, and quickly make sand walls to stop/slow flooding. He can also soften the ground like Mudman in class 1B. Eventually he learns to condense matter and manipulate different densities to create implosions that propel matter around. That gives him extra speed, some flight time, and projectile/ranged attacks without enormous Decay waves that disintegrate everything for kilometers in every direction.

Tenko would ace the UA entrance exam by just decaying all the robots.

Tenko would embrace his classmates who weren’t sure of their powers/capabilities, and he’d encourage them to keep following their dreams. He knows there’s no one way to be a hero. He begins to doubt things like the hero billboard awards in his teens but he always believes in the power of people to make a difference in their community when they get to express who they are and pursue what they love. That’s his idea of a peaceful world.

[electricaquarius]

Hello friends, I come bringing my very first GeRolan fic and also my first m/m smut! The lovely people over on the Geraldus server got to see the genesis of this idea as well as the whole fic early, so please join if you're interested in our dear Harper Prince! Also on AO3 if that's more your speed.

Summary: It's a super hot summer day in Baldur's Gate and everyone is feeling sweaty and miserable. Rolan/Geraldus smut eventually, handjobs, anal sex, the lightest touch of angst.

It was hot. It was, quite frankly, more than hot. Geraldus had never experienced heat quite like this before, and certainly not in a city. The tall buildings, the crowds, the sticky heat settling on his skin, it all combined to make him summarily miserable. Heat like this conjured images of pale yellow grass and parched soil from back home and Geraldus felt like he was wilting right alongside his mother’s crops. He’d tried his best to hold his tongue, his mother often told him that complaining got him nowhere, but the inescapable humidity was getting to everyone. Lia, for example, hadn’t stopped complaining since she draped herself across the couch and began fanning herself dramatically. 

‘Come on, Rolan, you’re certain there’s nothing you could do? I’m on the verge of melting!’ It was a futile request really but if there was one thing Geraldus knew about Lia, it was that she couldn’t stand being reminded of things she couldn’t control. A lot like her brother, in that aspect. Rolan snapped shut his book and breathed an irritated sigh, turning to face her. A bead of sweat rolled down his back and he suppressed a disgusted shiver. 

‘Lia.’ He pinched the bridge of his nose. ‘Powerful as I am, there isn’t a wizard alive or dead that can control the weather. You know that, and I know that you know as this is the third time I’ve told you. Now I’m going to strongly suggest that you leave before my patience entirely runs out and we spend the rest of the afternoon arguing.’ His tail flicked in short strokes from side to side, clearly cross but trying to keep his temper in check.

Lia rolled her eyes and stood up, sweeping her hair over one shoulder. ‘Fine, fine, but I’m not bringing you back any ice cream.’ She shot an apologetic look to Geraldus. ‘Afraid that means you, too, sunshine. Unfortunate that my brother isn’t feeling more charitable.’ She shrugged, grabbing her hat from a nearby table. ‘Well, off I go to faint from the heat!’ 

Geraldus managed a quiet ‘goodbye’ as Lia exited through the portal, not wanting to stoke the flames of the looming argument between her and Rolan. The remaining tiefling muttered something under his breath looking in the direction of the portal. Geraldus took the opportunity to stretch out now he was no longer sharing the sofa with Lia, resting his head on the arm and covering his eyes for a moment. He could feel the heat radiating off of him, sweat sinking into the cushions beneath him. 

Rolan took a moment just to admire him, as he often did. Delicately pointed ears against stark black hair swept up off of his elegant neck into a bun, stretched across the sofa like a big cat. His shirt had hitched up slightly exposing his pale skin, a sheen of sweat catching the light and giving him an almost ethereal look. Geraldus was a work of art, and Rolan knew it. He entertained the thought of swiping his tongue across his lower stomach and up towards his navel but thought better of it. Satisfying as it would be, Rolan knew far better than to just maul his lover whenever he felt like it. Still, it was a tempting idea…

‘I can feel you staring’ mumbled Geraldus. ‘Please, just tell me what it is.’ He bit back on an additional, far less nice comment. The heat wasn’t Rolan’s fault, of course, but Geraldus really didn’t have the patience for Rolan to dance around whatever it was he wanted in weather like this.

Rolan, slightly taken aback by Geraldus’ forwardness, came towards him and knelt in front of the sofa. ‘Just admiring you, that’s all.’ He placed a hand on Geraldus’ naked stomach and slowly started drawing it up when the half-elf grimaced. Rolan stopped, concerned. ‘Everything alright?’

Geraldus placed a hand on top of his and gently placed it back on the sofa. ‘In any other circumstance I’d be quite happy to let you… have your way with me,’ Geraldus felt the heat rising in his cheeks, ‘but I'm coated in sweat and very uncomfortable which doesn't lend itself to feeling, well, cuddly.’ Geraldus usually struggled a little with discussing their more intimate moments but had used his frustration to find his voice. 

‘Ah. Of course.’ Rolan backed off slightly, drawing back his hands to rest on top of his knees. Rejection never felt good, especially to someone with his pride. Not to say that Geraldus didn't have the right to say no as freely and often as he wanted, but it being due to Rolan's infernal heat gave a unique sinking feeling of disappointment. Rising, Rolan picked up the jug of water and took it to the kitchen, turning the problem over in his mind as he refilled it. If the heat was making Geraldus uncomfortable and miserable, then that had to be remedied immediately. Create Water wouldn't help as the humidity was too high, and he wasn't certain of his ability to create a Gust spell gentle enough just to cool them both down. Rolan was deep in thought when he heard Geraldus approach. 

‘Um, I'm sorry. For being short with you. I'm sure you understand but I've never quite experienced heat like this and I'm… having trouble acclimatising.’ Geraldus took the jug and poured himself a glass of water, taking two large sips. ‘I hope I didn't upset you.’ He put the glass down and pressed a quick kiss to the tiefling's cheek. Rolan turned to face him and gave him a warm smile.

‘You are far too sweet for your own good, my skylark.’ He chuckled. ‘No, I was just considering our predicament. I told Lia there was nothing I could do as she'd have me use all my energy turning the tower into a ski resort if she thought it were possible.’ He rolled his eyes. ‘But, there might be something I can do for us both to cool us down. No ‘snuggling’ required of course! I just want to make us both more comfortable.’

Geraldus hummed in confirmation, leaning back against the counter. ‘I'll leave you to it, then. Don't work yourself too hard, my heart. Come sunset I'm sure we'll both feel better, anyway.’ He patted Rolan's hand and headed back into the lounge.

***

Not more than a couple of hours later Rolan had emerged from his study, looking triumphant. Geraldus swivelled around from his seat on the floor where he had been folding paper cranes to pass the time. Keeping his hands busy had allowed him to stay calm and forget the more unpleasant side effects of the heat but he was happy all the same Rolan appeared to have solved their problem. Rolan crossed over and offered him a hand to help himself up from the floor, which he accepted gracefully. 

‘I think you'll be quite surprised at my ingenuity this time, my lark. I've made us an oasis of cool in this hot, humid tower. And now I know how, I can recreate it whenever you please.’ Rolan led him over to his office and opened the door, waving him through. 

As Geraldus stepped over the threshold he let out a sigh of pure relief. A cool breeze immediately stirred around his body intense enough to create goosebumps on his arms. ‘Oh, it's perfect, Rolan! What did you do?’ Geraldus turned just in time to see Rolan right behind him, wrapping him in a hug from behind. He began to explain, punctuated with kisses along Geraldus’ pale neck.

‘I began with a Cone of Cold. Perhaps overkill to just cool down on a hot day but I wanted to make sure it would work. Tweaking the intensity, I found a level that was pleasantly cool, then added a Gust spell on top to make sure the air circulated nicely.’ Geraldus reached a hand back behind him to brush his fingers against Rolan's horns. A shuddering breath of pleasure caressed his ear.

‘Am I to assume this is an invitation to pick up where we left off?’ Rolan asked in a low voice, trying to hold himself back from grinding against Geraldus’ thigh. Geraldus melted, arousal stirring deep within him at his lover's touch. 

‘Mmh… Yes, please touch me.’ Geraldus took Rolan's hand and trailed it down past his stomach to his cock, pressing down lightly. Rolan continued to kiss him, sucking and nipping at his neck as Geraldus moaned softly. Unable to resist, Rolan pressed his hips against his ranger's firm thigh and cursed under his breath at the sudden spark of pleasure. 

Rolan's hand went lower, removing Geraldus’ cock from his trousers and beginning to stroke lightly. Geraldus gasped, pressing his hips up to his lover's hand needily. The cool air of his study combined with the warmth of his hand was a completely new sensation, and all the more exhilarating for it. Geraldus’ moans grew louder as Rolan increased the pace, the half-elf's hips moving as he chased the pleasure until Rolan suddenly stilled his hand.

Geraldus was panting, whining, precum leaking from his tip as Rolan savoured every moment of his desperation. A low chuckle escaped his lips. ‘You did very well, my sweet. Very well. But, I'm not quite finished with you. If you'd let me, I'd quite like you to lie on my desk so I can make love to you properly.’ Geraldus shivered as Rolan caressed his inner thighs, turning his head to catch the tiefling's lips with his. Slowly they disentangled from one another and repositioned themselves, Geraldus winding a hand through Rolan's hair as they gazed at each other lovingly. Rolan stroked his lover's hip, adoring the sensation of soft flesh under his hands.

Rubbing his cock against Geraldus’ entrance, Rolan opened the desk drawer with his other hand and pulled out a bottle of oil. Geraldus mewled softly as the oil was applied, Rolan slipping a finger inside of him for a moment. The half-elf's cock twitched against his stomach, feeling very close to climax. Rolan smirked. ‘Ah ah, not just yet. Do you think you can hold on for me, skylark?’ Geraldus bit his lip and nodded, hands gripping the underside of his thighs.

Slowly, slower than he'd liked to, Rolan entered Geraldus. A shiver of pleasure pulsed through them both, knowing that neither would last long. Rolan began to move, pushing deeper with each thrust as Geraldus cried out, hips pressing up against his partner's. Every twitch and shudder around his cock sent a shock of pleasure through Rolan. He cursed under his breath, feeling his own climax approaching quickly. And when Geraldus wrapped his legs around his waist he was done for. Pushing down on the small of Rolan's back with his heels, Geraldus came on his stomach and chest. Something primal switched on in Rolan as he chased his own end. Before he knew it, his jaws clamped down on the spot where Geraldus’ neck met his shoulder. Rolan whimpered loudly against his lover's neck as he came inside of him, shooting three times before finally pulling out.

Panting, Geraldus slid over on the desk so there was room for Rolan to take a seat. A quiet moment stretched out between them. Rolan reached over and took Geraldus’ hand, pressing his lips to his knuckles. ‘Let it be known, my lark, there's nothing I wouldn't do for you.’

[mothgodofchaos]

Quiet

So you may or may not be an attempted hit by the most prolific hitman in the area...

Murdoch X GN!Reader, TW: blade, implied death, home invasion? Words: 927

You’re sitting at your desk, standing up as you move to exit your office. You straighten out your jacket, combing your fingers through your hair as the door closes behind you. The hallway is silent, pictures of your family and certificates you’ve earned over the years hanging on the walls, a soft shag rug underfoot. 

The living room is quiet, long heavy curtains covering the tall windows, lamps on their way to dim and fizzle out, small crackles of a dying fire. You kneel down, grabbing a poker from beside the fireplace, stoking the coals to try and reignite it. You hear what sounds like rustling behind you, and you turn around, holding the hot poker to defend yourself. “Is someone there??” There’s a silence that proceeds your call, and after a few moments of uneasiness, you go back to the fire. You throw a few logs onto the fire, standing back as it gets hotter, consuming the wood to turn it into coals as well. You throw your suit coat onto one of the couches, loosening your tie and tossing it on top of your coat.

“It’s probably nothing, right? And here I am, perfectly sane, talking to myself…”

The living room is quiet, once again. Your footsteps quiet as you discard your dress shoes, socks softly pattering against the wood floor. You move to a little cabinet to make yourself a drink, fixing your hair in the mirror as you wait for the kettle to boil. You swear you can make out the curtain moving behind you, despite not remembering opening the window yourself. You grab one of the hefty glass bottles, walking slowly towards the offending curtain. You try to not make a sound walking across the floor, tearing the curtain away to reveal: a vent underneath that was most likely pushing air to move it.

“Oh… well I guess I’m just a bit jumpy…”

You move the curtain back, focusing on the crackling fireplace as the kettle clicks, the sound of the water boiling mixing beautifully with the flames’ dance. The bottle returns to its place as you make your drink, occasionally looking up into the mirror to fix your hair that keeps moving in front of your face. “Goddamn hair, stay.”

You tuck it behind your ear once again as you stir your drink, looking up again as you see a figure behind you, a gloved hand covering your mouth before you can scream. In the dim light, you can’t make out his eyes behind his shades, but the wide grin on his face tells you all you need to know about his intentions.

“Now now… we can’t have any unwanted visitors during our time together, can we~? I need privacy to work, little fawn…”

Your eyes widen as he pulls out a knife, looking over his features in the event you make it out of this alive, you could get a decent police sketch out of it. He twirls the knife between his fingers, his hair tied into a half up, half down hairstyle. A maroon turtleneck is complimented by a black suit coat, a golden pin sitting over his left pec. Leather gloves cover the rest of what can be seen, his thumb blocking your airways, filling your nose with the scent of leather and blood.

“Shhh… the less you fight, the easier this is for both of us…” There’s very little you can do to fight, almost falling forward onto the cabinet before he catches you, making you lean against him as he tilts your chin up, grazing the blade against your skin. Your mind is swimming, the only thoughts being all your regrets, as tears pinprick in your eyes.

But then it all stops, suddenly you can breathe again as he removes his hand. You hold still, despite wanting to run, all due to the blade remaining at your throat. 

“Such a shame to see such a pretty thing erased from the face of the world, one that hasn’t been properly cherished…”

His hand returns to your chin, gently grazing along your jaw. The knife lowers, sheathed back in. 

“But perhaps if you were to just go missing… I still get paid, and you can be treated like the darling fawn you are… How does that sound~?”

You just look at him, astonished he could be flirting with you in this sort of scenario.

“Someone wa-ants me dead??”

“Yes, and paid quite the hefty sum to make sure it follows through. And as much as I enjoy money, I simply can’t let something this easy on the eyes to go to waste…~”

It takes a lot of wide eyed pondering, thinking about how much you’re abandoning, but you’re abandoning it all either way. But one is significantly more appealing than the other. You turn around, seeing him loom over you as you’re cornered against the cabinet.

“...and you won’t kill me if I go with you…?”

“Absolutely not, killer’s oath, sweetheart~”

He draws a heart and crosses with his knife in the air over his own heart, that same grin he had when this whole interaction started now returning. He stands up, now seeing him at his full height. A golden medallion reflecting what little light is in the room, but you make out a few of the antler-like details.

“...fine. Not like I have much of a choice anyways…”

“I knew you would come around~”

You squeak as he grabs your hand, walking you out of your building and into the night, never to be seen again.

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for turning a guy into the Grim Reaper?

(I’m pretty certain I’m not because this is both hilarious and objecively correct of me to do but APPARENTLY according to my brother this needs to be asked :/ …)

Uuh, yo. For logistical reasons I can’t say who I am other than that I’m a super powerful guy, but I’m sure it’s fine. As stated in the title, I turned someone into the Grim Reaper, so here’s background context and stuff.

So, the guy, who I’ll say is P, he was this Human in life. He died a horrific death and like all good Humans, he went into the Grey Void. No need to get into that, it’s basically purgatory.

However. This sneaky mofo, he makes it OUT of the Grey Void (and at the time this was thought impossible so) and upgrades himself into a Ghost! P was already on my nerves when he was alive for his “good person” thing, but now he goes and breaks a rule of the Afterlife, so I gotta step in.

Originally I threw him into this inter-dimensional jail cell that would close in as the years gone by, but then our last Grim Reaper retired. And lo and behold … I had the perfect guy ready for the job.

P was pretty stoked about this, to my surprise. So I don’t get why people are mad about me for it! They’re claiming things like “You’re doing this to torture him” and “Why are you punishing an innocent man” and all that nonsense. Straight bull, I tell you, I know what I’m doing! P’s perfectly happy with his job. He doesn’t even care that I don’t pay him!

I’m 100% down for being NTA. If anything it’s P’s fault for breaking the rules of the Afterlife in the first place. But, alas, I gotta listen to my siblings and speak my story here. So you just go down there and vote NTA to be done with it, yeah? NTA.

[underseaandearth]

The things she likes

Another very kind sweet man that I had no interest in whatsoever. We were incredibly different. 50 years ago did this complete lack of chemistry happen and did people just get married anyway? Because they ‘knew’ it was the right thing to do?

While he spoke I could feel myself looking elsewhere, listening in on things other people were saying. I was drifting in and out of attention. He was trying valiantly to keep things alive. I could see the conversation, the talking, going cold as I leaned into him. The language of the body: we could try speaking that. He reached for my hand and I took it. Even that felt strained, somehow. As he towered over me I basked in each dry kiss he placed on my temple and forehead. That’s one of the nicest feelings in the world regardless of who is doing it. But even then our distance remained. I get so frustrated at myself when I have dates like that. It feels like there’s something defective about me. I go cold inside for those incredible on paper if they don’t have at least a little bit of game; heat. I can’t be the only person stoking our flame.

Last night with Jason was a different story. That was what I wanted. We talked and it was immediately game on. I saw him looking lost at the sinks and showed him where the bin was. Introduced myself and looked him over. I fucked him with my eyes and he fucked me back. We sat on a couch and I was in the middle of two hot men that I wanted to feel me up at the same time. He eyed my O ring necklace and spoke to Leo. “So how did you two meet? Through work? Did you just spot her walking around with this thing on?” and then he touched my neck. With one finger, very lightly. The light touching and talking made so much difference. I got wet easily. Usually there’s a lot of frustrated burrowing and reaching for lube.

“That would be hilarious if so,” replied Leo. He grabbed me playfully. “But no. Through an app,” “Thank God for the Internet” I offered. I’d had two vodka sodas and was turning into my sex kitten self. Leo was touching me and I could feel the heat of his hands, but Jason and I couldn’t stop looking at each other. All three of us worked in education. Being a slut is fun and dare I say empowering sometimes, when you’re in an environment that warrants it. My ability to flirt with new men has improved in leaps and bounds.

Which is really how this whole chapter started in my late twenties- exposure therapy to men. It’s not that they scared me, I just had no idea how to speak to them. Most of my understanding of how intimate relationships worked came from my parents’ unhappy marriage. I had no good models for romantic love and so it didn’t seem like something me or any heterosexual woman should bother pursuing. Of course this leads to some level of isolation and loneliness. The human want for companionship and  love remained- but I didn’t know how to engage with the objects of my desire. I did desire, in buckets. I just didn’t know how to pursue it. There were very little of my thoughts and beliefs surrounding romantic love that were positive ones. All I knew is that I yearned for it despite myself.

Going to a sex party is immersing yourself in a tank of horny straight men. The first time I became cognizant of a man looking over my body out of lust, it felt like understanding a new word in a language I was trying to learn. It’s not a language I was used to speaking, but I picked it up quickly. I first started doing it as a silent test with myself- are there people of the opposite sex who are physically attracted to me? Using dating apps was a similar game. It shocked me that anyone would be interested in me; I needed empirical evidence that this might be the case. This might be why many people who shouldn’t be using them use dating apps. The validation feels good even if you’re in an otherwise monogamous relationship.

Now I’m at a stage where I’m more purposeful. That doesn’t necessarily mean less. More aware of my wants and so able to distinguish what I don’t want.

I was sandwiched between Leo and Jason and it felt good. Other things were kinda shitty but at least I could make this happen for myself. Thank fuck for physical contact. It made me woozy with happiness when Jason said “You look extremely sexy in that outfit tonight” and Leo replied “I know, right? I helped her pick it out”. I'm writing this now and giggling in glee. I knew there was an idiot grin on my face and I couldn’t wipe it off. Hedonism isn’t a bad thing if it really does make you happy.

Then we were upstairs and Leo was his bossy self and I let myself melt into the sensations. “She likes being choked, just lightly,” he said. “She likes being made to gag”. I felt a collegiate closeness between us. Jason and I came when he was fucking me, Leos hand wrapped around my neck. I’d heard him whispering filthy nothings in my ear but the roar of pleasure drowned out my perception. After the initial wave in the come down I was vaguely aware people were watching. “Please take notes,” I heard a woman say. It was so fucking silly but I was smiling hard, trembling a little. I could hear Jason giving an airy laugh above me. He had a perfect cock: thick, curved.

I’ve been going back and forth on truly getting rid of every trace of my personal self online. I no longer have Facebook, Instagram and Reddit. They weren’t ways for me to write so they didn’t hold much over me. This blog and the newsletter remain. I think about getting rid of both on occasion. The thought with most things I do is “What worth will this bring?”. I struggle to calculate what the worth of this much self reflection is, this much time sunk into revealing more and more of my intimate life to an ocean of strangers. The compulsion to write about my life for the purpose of clearing my head is one I’ll have until I die. But not all writing needs an audience.

[just-a-carrot]

Hi! I never use tumblr, but I wanted to get on my mostly untouched account and ask you something!

First off though, I want to say that I absolutely ADORE Our Wonderland and Our Fantastic Wonderland. I’m not a horror person, so I saw the game on itch.io for a long time before I was brave enough to try it, thinking it would just be a horror movie plot in the form of a visual novel. But I was so, so wrong, and so pleasantly surprised. I love all of it: the characters are so vibrant and feel so alive (except for when you know, they’re no longer with us and then R.I.P.), the way you don’t pull punches with the heavy topics you cover, the fact that you never know which choice will lead to a death but that you also are merciful and send us back to the last choice rather than giving us a game over (seriously, thank you for that), oh my gosh I could go on and on. The art style grew on me too and now I love it, plus I think it fits the game perfectly; I really like how you draw everyone so expressively.

I’m super excited for the final part to be released, but don’t push yourself too hard; we’re all happy to patiently wait. Being a solo dev is crazy difficult, and the high quality product you’ve released so far is simply fantastic. Plus you added a gallery, not one but TWO new modes (censored and streaming which must have been so much work), and other cool things WHILE ALSO creating the first half of Act 5??? Like how do you get so much done?

Anyways, I’m rambling, so I’ll get back on track. I saw in one of your answers to an ask (about if you’re okay with NSFW art of Our Wonderland) that you said you’re okay with people writing (among other things) about OW so long as they’re not using it in a hateful or bigoted way (I don’t remember the exact phrase you used, but I think that’s the gist of it).

So I wanted to ask, like are fanfictions okay? I have no intention to use them in a way that is demeaning to others, or hateful, or anything unkind. I just want to make some OW fan content to sustain me until the second half of Arc 5 is released, and hopefully share my love of OW and the characters with anyone who decides to read the fanfic(s).

I would definitely give you all the credit for Our Wonderland's characters, storyline, etc. While I'm usually a quiet person on the internet, I want to send anyone who may read the fanfics to the actual visual novels you've made. I would like to clarify that I don't really have an audience as I haven't posted my writing on any websites in a hot minute, but this story has absolutely entranced me. And I want to have more people to nerd out about this story with, so if i can get some more people on board the OW train, I'd be thrilled.

If you say no, I will respect your wishes as the creator and will not write or post any fanfiction!

If you are okay with it though, I’d be thrilled to share the title and website, etc I end up posting the fanfics on so you can read them if you so desire. Regardless of your decision, I will be thrilled to replay Our Wonderland and Our Fantastic Wonderland many times and I’m super stoked for the arrival of part two of Act 5!

(Sorry it's such a long message >.<)

Oh, my gosh, this is such a long (and lovely) message lakdjafld thank you so much for sending in a question! AND THANK YOU SO MUCH??? FOR THE WONDERFUL WORDS??? You're going to make me cry over here!! 🥺💦 I'm glad you decided to try it out despite your hesitations. I definitely know horror in general isn't for everyone LOL And this game definitely gets very intense at times in terms of horrificness LOL So that just makes me even happier that you still ended up enjoying it and the story ahhhhh,,,💦

"Like how do you get so much done?" -> LMAO HONESTLY I DON'T EVEN KNOW I didn't even decide to add all the new features and stuff until the last three or so weeks before the launch which,,, probably was not the best decision as the CG gallery especially ended up taking me hours and hours LOL However, I'm really glad to have gotten it done!! And I hope the new features will be helpful to people!

"So I wanted to ask, like are fanfictions okay?" -> Yeah, that's completely fine!! I am really fine with anything people want to create, just so long as exactly like you quoted above, that it's not for anything offensive or hateful/bigoted. (A-also not that I think anyone wouldn't do this, but I hope that people would honor the chars' sexualities/orientations lkadjfad 💦) I also ask that people don't tag me with anything NSFW as it makes me a bit uncomfortable and I don't want to interact with it (I don't mind people creating stuff like that so long as they're 18+, I just don't wanna interact with it personally dlakfjsdl) 😵‍💫💦 But just normal SFW stuff I have no problem with at all, whether it's writing/fics or art!! I think it's wonderful and lovely that you feel so inspired from my story that you would want to write something yourself! 🥺💕

Thank you so much again for your message! This was really sweet and brightened my day! 🥰

[twdmusicboxmystery]

Dead City Ep 2 - Analysis

 Morning Everyone! I have so much to post! I'm really behind on posting about Dead City as well as our speculation about the sneak peek of the Daryl spinoff. I'm going to try and get caught up over the next few days. I've just been very busy at work and haven't had tons of time to finish the posts. Bear with me. This is mostly stuff about Dead City, episode 2. I'll get to more stuff from ep 3 tomorrow!

@galadrieljones:

Hey guys so I’m really loving catching up on all your thoughts. After watching the first two episodes of DC, beyond being just super stoked by the writing/acting/everything about it (it really feels like a very gritty, adult show, i love it), I have some stuff to add to your thoughts and tbh I still have some digging I want to do pertaining to certain of my observations, pertaining to DC and to the DD spin-off

@galadrieljones:

First, I want to directly just address my thoughts on a couple of the notes above. First, the question about where New Hill Top is. I have zero proof, but there are aesthetic and architectural qualities of New Hill Top that remind me of Meridian. I wonder if they migrated there? It would make a lot of sense, and also, Meridian, which is near Bethesda, MD and north of DC, is not as from from NYC as the original Hill Top, which is in like, Western Virginia.

@galadrieljones:

This is New Hill Top

Here are some screen shots of Meridian:

Like I said I have no proof, this is just my current speculation

I also observed Maggie's new fear of heights as something that I think they'll explore further. Surprisingly, Maggie has turned out to be a most mysterious character. The writers have done a great job of capitalizing on her mysterious hiatus and disappearance from TF

It's a rich opportunity to fill in the blanks with really interesting information that, I think, will tie together some of the seemingly disparate lore between the flagship, Fear, and World Beyond, as well as the current spin-offs.

I am also very interested in Hershel's coldness toward Maggie. I see it as a continuation of his brief but telling characterization in season 11, like when he tells the other kids about how he's eating weird animals before, like horse, to stay alive.

I think that Maggie left with Hershel thinking it's what was best for him, but really, it's what was best for her. She instilled in her a kind of PADRE-esque numbness and disposition toward family, friends, and living. He is aloof toward his training and seems to be rebelling against the idea that "living" is possible in this world. This is probably because of the really bad things he was exposed to while on the road with Maggie.

He is artistic, which seems to reflect some sensibility related to Beth, who writes songs and writes in her journal and likes aesthetic beauty.

Only he hides it because even as it is an instinct that lives deep inside of his DNA, he is ashamed, because it communicates that he is human with any sort of emotional vulnerability, which is something he has learned, via Maggie, to suppress at all costs.

I will say I am saddened by Maggie's disposition and how she still seems not to have settled up with Glenn's death. She still has trauma dreams about what happened the night he died. It's been what, like 11-12 years? I really can't tell how old Hershel is supposed to be or how long the time jump is. He seems to be about 12 years old.

This communicates to me though that the writers are acknowledging how one single moment can change a person's entire personality, their entire life and outlook and even their DNA. It's what happened to Daryl after Beth, without a question.

In terms of the scene with Marshal Armstrong in the apartment, I also felt WHAWGO throwbacks. The picture of the two men especially triggered that for me, and how he finds the body. I figured they were brothers, and that the Marshal had been meaning to check on him for a long time but had not had the courage nor the opportunity to do it before.

When he went looking for the gun, I thought it wasn't so much about the gun, but about what the absence of the gun would signal. This was before he found his brother's body. A missing gun would entail that his brother either escaped alive, or that he turned it on himself.

Mostly this scene communicated to me that Marshal is not a villain. They want us to sympathize with him in some way. I think he is doing things he doesn't want to do but thinks he has to in order to maintain order and survive. I think he will come around and help Maggie and Negan at some point, because he will learn what true cruelty is in the Croat.

(or else he'll fall pray to hubris and die in an unfortunate way, a la Wes in Fear, when he aligns with Strand)

I did see the spoon(s), @wdway, and they reminded me of Negan's pointed reference to "Lady Liberty" in the first episode. He talks about how his dad brought him back a souvenir, and that made me think of the D.C. spoon that Beth finds in Still, which is also a souvenir. Also I'm sure we've discussed how "Lady Liberty" is herself a symbol of France.

I also see coffee and pancake mix.

Pancakes are a return ultimately to Lori and the idea of living vs. survival, re: Rick's story about her in Indifference. They're also a callback to Grady. There also seems to be a crack vial on the stove here.

Something i want to point out that I am not sure whether or not it means something is the weird inverse references to fire. Remember in "No Other Way," during Maggie's fight with Carver, Negan rings that fire bell and throws sand in his face?

In the first episode, I noticed, in the hotel room where Negan is staying, the smoke detector is ripped off the wall. Then, in the second episode, when they're in the city, they pass by a cabinet with a missing fire extinguisher.

This is interesting to me, though I really don't know why. It seems to be some sort of reference to Consumed. This whole premise feels like a riff on Consumed, in which two people with a complicated history track and go searching for a missing loved one in a big, apocalyptic metropolis.

Only in Dead City, it's not fire. It's insects, it's guts, it's wetness. It seems like everything is dank and soaked with blood and like it's just moldy and rotten. The lighting is dark and it's perpetually night. In Atlanta, meanwhile, the episode mainly takes place during the day in the hot Georgia sun, beating down on them, and they're all sweaty, on the concrete, everything dry and dusty and there is fire.

The cockroaches felt like the fire in this episode. It's weird, too, because there are so many references to being "unclean." There's a protracted scene in a laundromat right after they're swarmed by roaches. Felt Biblical, then like this modern day reference to cleanliness, but ofc it's all corrupted.

The cockroaches also reminded me o 6.8 "Start to Finish," in which we see the ants marching in the window and swarming the cookie. It's a metaphor for walkers, but also just this idea of hidden dangers, and back to Morgan's instruction about how the dead aren't too dangerous one at a time, but when they all get together, they become very hard to escape.

The pigeon woman was interesting as pigeons are like corrupted doves. She is speaking Hebrew, which is very odd. Was she a Hasidic Jew? Her name is Esther, which is a common Hebrew name. She could also simply be Israeli. Either way, she was Jewish. I don't know that we have any other Jewish characters aside from the Rabbi in Fear named Jacob, who has mysteriously just disappeared.

(I mean, i don't think there's anything to the rabbi disappearing, like he just wasn't very interesting and they just left him in the dust which is fine lol)

But the rabbi shows up with his name, Jacob, and shows Charlie the Ner Tamid, then in the following season, Rachel shows up and has Mo. Within the context of TWDU of shows, Rachel dies right around the same time that Leah is introduced. I think that Rachel's appearance especially is formative of Leah's and meant to highlight the Jacob/Leah reference in TWD as being actually Biblical.

References to Hebrew and Judaism should be looked at closely because Gimple is a practicing Jew and he uses the Old Testament in meaningful ways. Basically I'm saying like, the Jewish references are important, especially when we think about Daryl's story, because clearly the Jacob/Leah/Rachel thing is in play for him. I really can't see any doubt to that at this point.

So I don't really know the point of Esther. She is a little bit like a good luck charm. She leads them to allies, and then she dies. Sort of like the man in the red poncho at the end of season 5.

I do not know what kind of animal is shown around the traps in NYC. It looks like some sort of wolf or fox, but its head reminds me of a Beaver or Otter

Ginny is a lot like Enid, right? Enid also didn't talk for a long time after arriving at ASZ.

We learn Enid's story in JSS, the episode in which the Wolves attack Alexandria. She eats a turtle. She uses the egg timer. There are a million ways in which Enid's story pans out to influence the world of TWD.

I wondered if maybe the story about Oceanside was a lie, though. Like, they just needed something to tell the Hilltop people that didn't sound so mysterious and suspicious.

I am super intrigued by who she might be.

I am also obviously wondering wtf happened to Annie and the baby. I wonder if they're dead or were taken by PADRE people.

I get the feeling we'll learn what happened to them at the end of this first season. It will open into season 2, in which Maggie "owes" Negan and the two go in search of Annie together.

They wouldn't astroturf his relationship with Annie and her pregnancy in season 11 if they didn't have a long term plan.

If it's been a couple of years, and Annie was taken when the baby was small or even when she was still pregnant, that would line up with the PADRE timeline; however, we know now that PADRE has been dismantled, so Annie and her kid might be separated or lost. We may meet them as a function of Madison's storyline or whatever comes after Fear.

Something I also plan to ruminate on a bit is the "Peter Lombardi" poster in the Marshal's brother's apartment. Peter Lombardi isn't a real basketball player. That's an invention. So like, wtf does that reference, i have no idea.

the tagline at the bottom of the poster seems to say "Once a player, always a player." He's #24.

The last name Lombardi is very recognizable as the same last name of the famous football coach Vince Lombardi. Like I said, I'm looking into it lol.

This was another "dead fire" reference, ie: the discarded mini blow torch on the table. I would assume it was used for smoking crack.

(re: the crack pipe on the stove)

@wdway:

I'm really enjoying reading your reviews of DC. There are a couple of comments that I want to make. On the stove in the apartment I noticed the spoon and the coffee can, but totally missed the pancake mix. Great catch. I want to add another pancake reference to the other two that you mentioned.

In Knotts Untie,, when everyone was in the RV headed back to Alexandra after their first visit to Hilltop Abraham made a comment to Glenn about, I can't remember if it was about Bisquick mixing or making the pancakes, same thing though. It was a typical strange comment from Abraham about Glenn impregnating Maggie. It was also where the sonogram picture of baby Herschel was passed around the group for everyone to see.

Daryl's reaction to the sonogram was so bittersweet. Happiness for Glenn and Maggie and heartbreak at how Beth had wanted Maggie and Glenn to have a child.

The other thing I want to say is that I also totally missed the missing fire extinguisher. Wow! I can't believe I didn't notice that. Fire extinguishersand and fire hydrants has always been a Beth symbol. We see them around her especially and also Daryl in Still. Beth is the one who lit the match and started the fire at the Still shack. She also used a mirror at the beginning of that episode to create fire, she is fire and water. The way I interpret the missing fire extinguisher is an obvious nod to Beth being missing.

@galadrieljones:

Good call on the Bisquick! I think he says something like, “When you poured the batter, were you hoping to make pancakes?” or something like that.

Yeah, and the fact they are searching for the source of the smoke. It’s like, the whole thing is this absence of light, absence of fire.

Negan lights the match at one point and the pigeon lady blows it out.

In “Consumed,” I also remember that it begins with Carol seeing the pillar of smoke, which leads her to the girls and Tyreese.

I have a couple other screenshots I want to share as well.

Here's the missing fire extinguisher

A "Dawn" reference. It says "Dawn Lincoln C Come Kill With Us."

Also a Lincoln reference in the same exact sentence

You can see "Macon, GA" clearly in this directory. A reference back to season 4 and Terminus.

It's on p. 270. Does that number ring a bell to anyone?

This shot is extremely dark, so sorry about that. It's the first shot we see of a mannequin at the laundromat. We will see several more after this. Maggie seems to run into mannequins a lot.

Maggie and Negan scale an elevator shaft. Always a fun callback.

One More reference

These are all from the credits.

In the first one, I find it ironic that the city looks like it's on fire, despite what it feels like in the show.

The second one features red gas canisters, and some sort of shopping cart reference.

There's then a rooftop garden, and a small plane.

I found a couple hidden things in the last two, I Spy style

If you look closely you can see that in the circled section it says, "Say Yes." ?

Here in the barb wire at first I just noticed the "A"; however, it could also be a clearly "USA"

These deer interested me

The credits sequence was awesome. I think there's probably more hidden stuff.

@twdmusicboxmystery:

I’m really loving this discussion! Just got all caught up. The idea that DC is just one big replay of Consumed (sort of) is really striking a cord for me. I loved everything you’ve said, and it’s got me thinking in a bunch of directions. It makes me wonder how this will turn out where Hershel is concerned.

As you said, it’s the opposite of Consumed in details—dark, wet vs dry, etc—so does that mean they WON’T find Hershel, because they actually did find Beth? Or will they find him, and he’ll remain alive and make it out in the audience’s minds, where Beth didn’t? I don’t know. But that smoking building is really intriguing when seen through the lens of Carol following various columns of smoke.

And I’ll have to think about this more because this is something they made a point about clear back in S4. Not only did Carol follow it to Tyreese and the girls (which suggests following the smoke leads to finding the people you’re looking for) but they did that whole thing where Mica taught Carol that black smoke meant it was still burning and white/gray smoke meant the fire was out.

And of course Daryl and Beth set that fire in S4, so Bethyl is ground zero for the pillar of smoke. Does that mean Maggie will literally find Beth in the smoking building? Or is Hershel just a stand-in/proxy for her? I also loved the insight that the cockroaches were like the ants on the cookie, representing walkers that will swarm them in the city. I hadn’t thought of that, though I should have.

I had to laugh at how Negan was just like, “Nope.” And they both noped right outta there. (Not that I wouldn’t have done the same. ;D) Anyway, great details about the Daryl clip as well. Great catch on the windows. I totally agree that this might not even be a chronological set of scenes. These may be taken from different parts and patched together. Nothing says a sneak peek has to be chronological. The other option is that they used different buildings for the interior and exterior shots, and they just don’t line up super well. Guess we’ll have to wait and see. Really great finds and insights, though. Loving it!

@wdway:

In reading your comments about the smoke, it reminded me of something I wanted to say earlier today and forgot. Talking of smoke, in Home Sweet Home, when Maggie, Daryl and company were initially going out to look for Maggie's group that had Herschel with them they saw smoke from the burning building going up into the sky through the trees. It immediately reminded me of Carol and the girls in, The Grove, seeing the smoke from the Still shack still burning. By the way Gimple verify that the smoke that Carol and the girls saw was from the Still shack. It was to show how very close all the survivors really were to each other and didn't know it.

Just read this and thought it was a bit of a coincidence since you were just talking about this earlier today. The location of hilltop.

@galadrieljones:

This is pretty interesting. They speculate it’s somewhere in NY or New Jersey. The thing is we know that territories can be huge, and just because they touch a territory adjacent to NYC (New Babylon), that doesn’t mean it has to be right next to it. That said, Bethesda/DC (Meridian) is quite far from Manhattan, over 200 miles.

It’s not a lot considering how far the CW was from like, Alexandria, but idk, again that’s just speculation. Philadelphia IS squarely in the middle between DC and NYC. Maggie is really not far from Rick. But, the time jump is a bit confusing. Idk where Rick might be at this point. And idk what Philadelphia has to do with this. Lots of ppl have speculated the CR is in Philly but I’m not so sure I believe that yet.

Maggie is pretty distracted but you’d think if Rick were back, she’d mention it, or Negan would have maybe heard. They still seem really in the dark about the CRM. Maggie is also separate from the CW and ASZ. And yet, I also have to wonder why Maggie is alone. Why isn’t she with Daryl? Or Carol? Or both? I know Daryl doesn’t like Negan but he’d do anything to help Maggie find Hershel, and so would Carol. She knows this too.

I could see her in seasons past calling on them to help her with something like this. If she has the time to track down Negan then she has the time to call them on the radio and they’d be there in two seconds. That said, are Carol and Daryl in France in this moment? Are they missing? Will we get some mention of them and wtf is going on?

[spacebasedreality]

saw ur tags abt mainlining the whole OP manga in a month and went “o hey it me” so I figured I’d say hi lol

Hi fellow good decision maker!! It has utterly taken over my brain, I’m so happy to be here. And it seems like a million other people are all also discovering/rediscovering it this year?? What a time to be alive! And back on tumblr again lol. What got you into it?

Shokugeki no Sanji of all things was my gateway drug! The few OP episodes I’d seen as a kid had apparently been a terrible 4Kids dub/bowdlerization that the US had aired in the early ‘00s (and look I have a lot of fond memories of getting up early on Saturday mornings to watch the 4Kids Yu-Gi-Oh but their OP was not great), and for all these years I’d remembered the show being this overexcitable mess for super young kids and so was like “??? Shokugekifiction how???” And then visiting LA and driving past a billboard advertising episode 1000 and being like “ohhh wait what if it’s still on the air because it’s actually really good and people still like it?!” …and then in the space of a few weeks went from happy nostalgia at the old-school hand drawn DBZ-looking Toei animation and instant love for Luffy and his crew to I NEED IT NOW, PUT IT IN MY VEINS, DOCTOR and picked up the manga…

I’m still happily watching the show at a leisurely pace (Enies lobby rn so hype so ready to cry, although the jump from hand drawn to digital is doing everyone so dirty) as well as the new episodes because Wano was amazing and just super enjoying that the fandom has apparently been going strong since the turn of the millennium but has really exploded back to life in the last couple of years. Stoked for the next 10+ years of the final saga with everyone!

Tl;dr yes hi here we love pirates with dreams and their ships who love them, freedom at sea, defying fascists with cabaret, goofiness as a superpower, islands made of clouds and islands made of chocolate, what if Peter Pan was about smiling more, and definitely true animal facts. So nice to meet you, thank you for messaging!!

[justtryingtolosesomeweight]

Until my posting fever goes down, it’s probably going to be one post abt how much I ate and one venting or just talking. Or it’s going to be whatever once I decide the difference is arbitrary.

Anyhow, looked at myself in a mirror at a distance and... my shoulders are so small. but I’m not happy because it’s in a feminine way. I wish I could just lose all this fat over night. If I didn’t have to get my blood checked then I would be much more open to saying fuck it and eating as little as possible. I gave up on my homework because i left myself an hour to do it and it turns out it required more effort. It doesn’t make me feel good but at least I cleaned my room today. Sigh... maybe I should just not eat, it’s really the only thing that makes me feel like I’m doing something. And it was practically alright then that I sucked at being alive. Not having a job was alright-anxiety looks so much better in skinny. I really do like stoking certain flames sometimes.

It reminds me when my mom asked me if I was skipping breakfast and then was like keep it up, it’s working. so, i don’t really know why I care sometimes about whether what I’m doing is unhealthy, it doesn’t matter until you’re skinny. Ah, the honeymoon, I want it back-I lost like forty pounds. It helped my social anxiety so much knowing people weren’t judging me as harshly. And it helps me pass- I have no doubts that my parents would be more open to accepting me if I was skinny. i wouldn’t even have to lose that much- to them I only need to lose like ten pounds right now- I want to lose at least thirty. Maybe 130 is what I can do but maybe if I really tried I could get to 117. It would be concerning to them but to everyone it’s practically the standard- or at least to us. I know realistically in the long run it’s not a body you can keep but even if you did gain ten pounds like you would still be at 127. ah but I’m being silly, longevity? this is fast fashion, fast body culture.

Ah you know my laptop notes look like this too. I just have too much to say and am not very good at saying it. but I notice here it’s about ed mostly but on my laptop it was about self harm. Which I want to do again but I lost my blade and am too cheap to buy another. I like them both because it makes me feel like my body is my own. I liked the confidence. and I felt like I was putting myself on the course that I wanted to be on, i want scars and a thin body. THinking about thighs- I want to go to bed every night knowing I did the best I could that day to get rid of them.

I could write novels complaining. Wonder where all these words go when I do want to write novels or do any productive writing. Maybe I’m just not okay enough and need to get all these loops out of my brain before I can think about stories. I can’t even read. I did a year ago force myself to read like seven books. I liked Chinese Cinderella and A Little Life the best. A Little Life made me so happy- and we share the same name- it did inspire me a little to sh but as we know you don’t get it from media, you already have to be sick to give in. I didn’t finish it- one day I will- I don’t know when but one day. Like cherry pie. Chinese Cinderella... I related too hard to her. Maybe not as studious and discounting the factors of chinese family hierarchy and living in that time period but I connected. Just her staying in her room and trying to get though it with media. I could go more into but I feel bad already and I need to go charge my phone.

I’m sorry for talking so long, it’s not like I have friends.

[keiraportcr]

matteorosati·:

the fourth of july. an otherwise jovial holiday that extended to the very homeland of camp eagle ridge summers. for the last fateful two years, it had been nothing if not intense and melancholy. each time the day rolled and reared its ugly head, it was a stoke reminder of the day of the wedding, and similarly, the day that transpired a whole three hundred and sixty five days later in losing their little girl. there was a numb, dull ache that simmered in the bottom of his chest, his already malformed heart weakened by the disease that thrusted this entire holiday into infamous history. the depression had unfurled into a tumultuous divide in the relationship between husband and wife. each milestone was represented by the pain and suffering they had been dealt in such a reprieved time. the devastation of the thought of losing keira made the now young adult acrid with grief. now? it resembled a moment of the past, to push forward in improvement. streaks of satin blue and crimson red chalk lined under each chiseled cheek bone, bony knees tucked beneath his chest as he accrued a blanketed square inch of the camp that wasn’t covered with preteens.

tuffs of creme white fur tumbled around the forest green grass, panting frivolously before perching himself at the foot of one of his owners. “hey, little buddy. you having some fun? go say hi, all the kids love you, casp. you’re the talk of the camp, yes you are,” matteo melodically resounded, the samoyed puppy’s ears perking up at the gentle praise. almond hues observed as the puppy barked in response playfully, both hands now petting the long mane of the dog as he found his rightful spot nuzzled in beside matteo. as the movie that dazzled along the wide screen of the nearby pier dock, the catchy who will i be song rang into the ears of the entirety of the camp, camp rock. severing the trance he was seemingly in, the curly headed counselor’s cheeks blushed a soft tint of pink, an involuntary smile pursing from his lips, lining from ear to ear. his wife. the reason he was still alive. “you’re almost right; it was a rocket pop. casper helped me finish it, i swear. but i won’t say no to a s’more after dark, what do you say?” he chimed, orbs dilated with undulating adoration. “what is that you have here, my darling wife? here, let me help you,” offering his arms out for her, matty’s gaze fell from keira to the box at hand. a playful irl of his eyes at her words, sarcasm seeping through. “hm, i guess i have bad hearing as well as a bad heart because i’m sure you mean matteo, but i’ll let it slide because it’s a very special day,” the skater concluded, an index finger swiping across auburn haired beauty’s nose mischievously.

it's been awhile since this place felt like home. last year all she wanted to do was get out. out of the city, out of the state, just out. the place that she loved so much suddenly became a nightmare. a constant reminder of all the bad things that had happened. why would she want to stay in a place like that? there was just so much... grief that she found herself absolutely drowning in. pulling herself away from the love of her life, putting approximately two thousand and three hundred seventy one miles between them. overall just feeling like a shitty wife because honestly, who was she kidding? what did she know about being a wife? it felt like she failed. as a mom, as a wife. the auburn haired girl can't get that time back, but it was important to feel her way through it. feel every single feeling because that was the only way she could get through it. get back to the place, to the person she loved. it was always one day at a time. today was unbelievably hard, but they just kept pushing on because just because your world stops spinning, doesn't mean everyone else's does. all she wants to do is watch camp rock, eat cake, and watch some fireworks with her husband and their pup. the simple things in life, after all. oh, her husband the joker. "uh huh, and did we take our medication for our bad heart today, troy bolton?" keira questioned with a roll of her eyes. of course he did. she knew he did. if she doesn't laugh, she'll cry. dark humor will pull them through, obviously. "a cake!" the auburn haired girl exclaimed excitedly as she propped open the box. happy anniversary key + matty written in sloping cursive letters on top of the cream cheese icing. "red velvet, cream cheese icing, to be exact, since you know,  brooke and cal very rudely didn't leave you any of the original wedding cake." and she helped, but that's besides the point, really.

[idealisticrealism]

TCL 2x04 recap

Well, I definitely didn’t lie when I said this one was going to be long. Help.

(To anyone who actually makes it through this entire thing, I salute you. I swear I’m going to try to tone it down next week haha).

Ok I’m gonna try and be relatively short and to the point (heh, good f*ckin luck) about all the non-Armony stuff, because oh boy do I have a lot to say about those scenes. Lord.

I would have paid to see Thony and Fi manage to get Mr Motel Moustache (MMM) into that laundry thing lol. Maybe they tipped it on its side and kind of just shoved him in??

Well at least the show is actually continuing to demonstrate Chris experiencing the effects of trauma rather than just brushing it off the way so many shows do, so that’s something?

Lol no Maya, Garrett and Thony are not sleeping together (never ever gonna happen lol, hallelujah), but she is romantically entangled with a mob boss, so you guys do have that in common haha. But oh ok so it was Robert (or one of his lackeys) who hurt Maya?? Also if they have eyes on her 'at all times' how the hell did she manage to come to a FBI agent’s house in broad daylight?

Sigh. Fi. Thony didn’t answer her phone because she was being blackmailed by Garrett, and had to do what he wanted to protect you… though lbr Thony just needs to start telling Fi everything, bc it would solve a lot of problems. Also I’m so stoked that MMM is alive after all, since dealing with a live threat is so much more interesting than dealing with disposing of a body lol 

I honestly wonder how many people Arman has killed. The ones we’ve seen– Jimmy in 1x03, the bald guy in 1x07, and Hayak– were all situations where he didn’t really have a choice; Jimmy stole from Hayak, so killing him was the expected action (plus, it indirectly protected Thony by satisfying Hayak of her loyalty). Then the bald guy was to save his own life, considering he’d have been dead if Hayak found out about him selling the guns, and killing Hayak was obviously self defense. I think those killings he could make peace with (well… maybe not Hayak so much; I desperately want him to break down to Thony about that one at some point, though I doubt the show will give that to us). But anyhow, he’s never going to be able to be okay with taking a life for Robert. Especially not the life of one of Robert's debtors, someone whose situation is not so different from his own, now. 

Oooh Nadia is pushing for the street drugs– is my prediction gonna come true?? I love that last ep, Arman was telling Thony that they needed to consider Nadia’s idea of selling more lucrative drugs, but now he’s defending Thony’s refusal to Nadia and telling Nadia that they’re not drug dealers. Sounds like someone took Thony’s words to heart… also omg writers please stop dropping hints about Sin Cara killing Bosco!! Don’t you know he’s my boy???

Nadia is all pleased by Arman’s jealousy towards Robert– but is that really what it is? Like okay sure maybe a little (it would be weird to have to deal with your wife’s first love) but I wonder if Arman’s disgust is more about the way Robert looks at her like a prize he wants to win; like an object, which firstly Arman hates because she’s so much more than that, but also because it reminds him that both of them are just objects in Robert’s eyes; not people who came from nothing and made something of themselves, but just playthings for his amusement. I do appreciate that she has a similar reaction to his suggestion that he collect debts for Robert– reminding him he’s more than that, more than just a tool to be used. And lol gotta love Arman’s very half-hearted response to her hug haha, like yesss if I’m gonna have to see physical affection between these two, I want it to be as reluctant as possible on his part lol.

(Btw Arman must have gotten some excellent quality bruise cream bc his swelling and bruising has settled down a hell of a lot in the last like 12 hours lol)

Damn Thony that’s some good tying– “The harder you pull, the tighter they get”?? Where did you learn that one, huh?? Also love that she thought ahead enough to bring a sedative haha– like what other interesting things are in that big bag?? Clearly not rope tho lol

Oh Chris. Poor sad boy. Much trauma. That mirror shot was cool tho

Lol Fi bouncing around like a ping pong ball while Thony just stands there. At least Thony has seen the truth of it– the video is not the real problem here, the problem is the guy who can use what he knows against them– and she has already seen what the end result will have to be. And of course she knows exactly who can help save them from this problem. Also excuse me “He’s not family”– um correction, Fi, he’s not family yet. But give him and Thony a little more time and soon you’ll be calling him your sort-of-brother-in-law lol

I am surprised to admit this, but I kind of enjoy the dynamic between Garrett and new agent guy? Garrett is like a puppy who desperately wants to come play with the other agent dog and his toys lol, it’s almost (almost) endearing. And agent guy has a great voice. 

Oh god Thony. Could you maybe put some gloves on rather than just touching everything with your bare hands??? Also this searching is so inefficient lol, lbr it must be that she’s already decided deep down that she’s gonna call Arman and so she’s just doing this cursory effort at a search so she doesn’t feel like she lied to Fi haha. Also damn this is another good song, if anyone finds out what it is let me know! I’m still bummed that Savage from last ep isn’t on Spotify

Okay can I just point out that if there are outstanding debts that Arman could collect for Robert that he hadn’t ever expected to get back… then he’s a pretty forgiving loan shark?? Also I highly doubt he has a shortage of people on staff to go and make those collections for him… but I guess the whole appeal of the deal is that he gets to feel like he owns Arman (aka the man that Nadia chose) specifically, and is able to make him do his bidding. I have to say I am starting to get Robert’s casting a little more; they needed someone older than Arman and with a bit of gravitas, because no way would Arman be able to deal with taking orders from someone younger and less polished. And Naveen is doing a good job of making Robert a little more nuanced; there’s a surprising edge of vulnerability to him when he talks about Nadia, which actually seems sincere (and she certainly seems to take it as such)-- well, either that, or it’s some very impressive manipulation.  I love Arman literally turning away as he thinks through the offer, which is interesting symbolism as it leaves Nadia and Robert looking at each other behind his back.  He wants to protect her– he doesn’t want her to be subjected to being a plaything for Robert, like he already is– but he also sees the value in taking the offer (it could get them free of him so much faster) and he respects her ability to decide for herself.  But lol “You’re both mine” I think Robert’s over here planning to start a harem haha

You know I was literally wondering like a day before the ep aired who looks after Luca when the kids are at school and Thony and Fi are at work?? This woman seems lovely but there is NO reason for a character to be that pregnant unless they’re going to pop out a baby in like the IMMEDIATE future. Is Chris going to have to deliver this kid????? Also ugh Fi and Chris, these two are nailing these emotional scenes

Arman I am very much enjoying your costume change from suave businessman to hired-muscle-slash-runway-model lol. As much as I enjoy the suits, I vote the black tshirt/jeans/leather jacket combo stays forever. But omg the whole jockey thing? Like ngl I enjoyed it, but man it treaded close to the line of being a little too comedic/slapstick for this show’s vibe– thankfully it didn’t cross the line, but it was close. Maybe the point of choosing this kind of setting /character was to highlight how far Arman has been dragged down from his cool and untouchable mob boss persona of S1, that he is now subjected to the indignity of having to physically chase a debtor like a farmer trying to catch a chicken– not to mention getting his ass handed to him by a guy half his size. Been a long time since you’ve had to do this kind of grunt work, hey buddy?  

God, when he answers her call he doesn't even look at the screen, just hits the button and says her name– how the hell did he know it was her?? Does he have a special vibration alert for her specifically or???? (Most likely it was just to do with the editing of the shots, but I choose to believe that he does have different vibration tones– one for her,  one for Nadia, and then one for all other calls. That way he can know immediately if it’s a call he needs to take). But ugh are you kidding me with this?? The look on his face when she says she needs his help? Like his whole day just completely turned around lol. (Definitely makes me think back to Nadia calling him out– “You love the way she looks at you when you do these things for her. You’re her hero.”). Also he can probably tell instantly from her tone that she’s not distressed, which means he can skip being worried and instead just be pleased that he’s going to get to see her and help her out and make her happy ugh. Of course he probably immediately asked if everything was okay, and sigh I really wish we got to hear that conversation and see his reaction as she told him the whole story about Marco’s death, bc oh man the face journey would have been beautiful. Sigh, just another to add to my list of things to fic, I guess.

Ngl I want to know how these two managed to program keycards for this specific door, since it would have had to be done through the computer system, but I’ll just let that slide lol. Also Fi’s “I wish I knew how to get through to him”-- just let him talk to Arman!! Who better to support a young man who has been through something traumatic and is struggling with having done something terrible?? They can go do something manly together, like idk smash things or Arman can teach him to drive or something, and Chris can talk to someone who is super freakin cool and who Gets It, and also Arman can bond with his future nephew and score points with both Thony and Fi at the same time??? Win win for everybody??  

I love the way Thony tells Fi that she called Arman. She says it in a quick little burst, her body tense but expression determined, because even though she hates going against Fiona’s express wishes, she knows it was the right option– their only option. The whole situation is overwhelming, and Fi needs Thony’s strength and support to get her through it– but Thony can’t carry that kind of weight alone. She, in turn, needs Arman’s strength and support to get her through it. And honestly to her it would seem so clear cut; it’s not just that Arman has ~experience~ with this kind of thing (even though yes, that’s definitely part of it), but it’s also just that– aside from Fi of course– Arman has become her Person?? Some things are too big to be handled alone, and whenever that happens, Arman is the one she turns to, because she knows he will always be there for her, just like she knows she would do whatever she could to be there for him as well. Fi doesn’t get that yet; she sees Thony running off at all hours to do things for Arman, and thinks that it’s because he has power over her or that Thony feels she is indebted to him for helping Luca. She has this caricature in her head of him, this ruthless mobster type who has Thony firmly under his control (likely influenced by whatever shit Marco spouted about him), and so that’s why she reacts to seeing him the way that she does. Well, okay, she also reacts to the fact that he looks like a goddamn movie star, but a big part of her response is the fact that she was expecting some cold-blooded criminal to stride in with his gun drawn and shoot their unarmed captive in the head/violently torture the password out of him before walking out again with some vague threat about how Thony will owe him big for this. (Just roll with me here; I maintain that this is legit and that Fi has as much of an imagination as I do lol). So that’s what she’s fearing when Arman turns up at the door, but instead she gets faced with this leather-jacketed Adonis who immediately looks her in the eye and introduces himself to her, then quietly and compassionately swears to her that he’s going to help her. Honestly her reaction was so perfect (ngl, I let out an embarrassingly high-pitched shriek of laughter at “call me whatever you want”, bc same, girl, same) and it was just so goddamn relatable omg???

In fact, I guess now is a good time for me to admit something… that I have actually personally been subjected to the fun game of ‘Surviving In The Presence Of Adan Canto’ irl. He was on the same flight to Albuquerque as my friend and I when we visited in July, and I ended up having to stand literally right in front of his seat for probably a solid minute waiting for other passengers in the aisle to store their bags and move out of the way (god, I am forever grateful to them for taking their sweet time haha). To be fair, he's maybe slightly less potent in a tshirt/jeans/ball cap combo than in the fancy Arman suits or the leather jacket, but still, holy shit. My friend said that when I turned around to stare at her after first spotting him, it was the most genuinely alarmed she's seen me look in 11 years of friendship lol– thank god that having a mask on gave me a chance to control my face pretty quickly haha! Sadly our seats were at the totally opposite end of the plane to his though, so by the time we disembarked, he was long gone. Not that I would have approached him anyway of course (it was like 11pm, dude was probably just wanting to get home asap) but ngl another glimpse would have been more than welcome haha. (Oh and @enigmaticfox can absolutely attest to the truth of all of this, since I literally immediately paid for in-flight wifi just to be able to scream at her over whatsapp lol.)  

But anyway, the point of all that was to say: Fiona, I get you, girl.

Okay back to the motel room. I freakin love Arman’s surprised little smile at Fi’s response to him; I’m sure he’s had many people have all kinds of ~reactions~ to his hotness, but Fiona is different– because aside from Luca, she’s the most important person in Thony’s life, and boy is he desperate for her approval. Like ugh that pleased little face practically shouts "yes! I'm gonna get a good grade in Impressing My Future Sister In Law, which is both normal to want and possible to achieve!" (...actually, I guess it kind of is? lol). And then ughhhh in addition to the Arman Hotness™ he turns on the full powers of the Arman Compassion™ all while standing  right there at Thony’s side like it’s where he belongs. And THEN it gets worse????? He goes to check out what he’s going to be dealing with, and lord I can absolutely picture him seeing the guy’s bound hands and literally stopping in his tracks, eyebrows shooting sky high. I am honestly grateful there was no one to witness the look on my face when he stepped back out of the bathroom and asked her in that I’m trying so hard to be cool and casual about this right now tone whether she was the one that tied him up, and she clearly can’t quite figure why he’s asking– did she not do it right? Did he disapprove for some reason?-- and then when she confirms it (with just the tiniest hint of defensiveness) he immediately morphs from that wide-eyed blushing emoji to the fucking smiling devil emoji omg. “I see you’ve learned a few things” EXCUSE ME MR MORALES WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT TO DO THAT WITH YOUR FACE AND YOUR VOICE AND YOUR EVERYTHING??? I would personally like to sue this scene for emotional damages because I am absolutely a victim here lol. I think Fi might feel the same, based on the way she looks at Thony; I honestly can’t decide if it’s more “What the hell kind of criminal shit have you been getting up to with this guy??” or “What the hell kind of kinky shit have you been getting up to with this guy??”  (Maybe both?? Let’s go with both haha.) And lollllll forever at Thony just closing her eyes– what a super awkward time to be suddenly very turned on, hey Thony??????

Phew okay honestly I almost appreciate the scene switch to Nadia and Robert purely for some recovery time haha. I like that Nadia isn’t so much ‘working’ for Robert as just getting to do something she enjoys– which is the act of influencing people (especially men) into doing what she wants them to do. It’s a fascinating character trait and I really enjoy seeing the way she uses it on both Arman and Robert in slightly different ways. It’s also very interesting to consider the contrast between how she gets Arman to do what she wants vs how Thony does; Nadia is clever with her words and with her emotions, always knowing which buttons to push and in what order, partly due to her natural talent and partly due to knowing him so long. (Of course, he knows her, too, which means he knows that at any time he might be being deliberately manipulated).  Whereas Thony just comes to him with such earnest openness– there’s no manipulation or guile to her interactions with him (the one time she tried, in 1x05, it was under significant duress and she still couldn’t go through with it because she cared too much about what would happen to him ugh) and god, that must be so damn refreshing for him. Conversely, I think Robert actually loves being manipulated by Nadia. He’s so powerful and untouchable that no one dares to challenge him at all anymore, but Nadia is different; she’s known him since the start, and she’s not scared of him, so there is a kind of teasingly adversarial nature to their interactions that he clearly can’t get enough of.  

Arman, staring at the cord tightly binding the guy’s wrists: “don’t fantasize about it, don’t fantasize about it, don’t– shit too late” lolllll. Got a little bit of a thing for bondage, huh Arman?? Don’t worry, I’m sure Thony will be very willing to demonstrate her technique for you someday not too far from now.  (Seriously, this ep killed me with the sexual tension. It’s like the intensity of the situation made these two forget that they’re supposed to be keeping their distance, and I LOVE IT).  But anyhow I love that they both take the opportunity to have a little catch up while standing over an unconscious dude in a bathtub lol. Ugh Thony’s concern for him and his situation with Robert– firstly because of the debt hanging over him, but also bc thanks to Maya, she knows Robert is both a) into some criminal shit and b) likely to be a person of interest to the FBI, meaning Arman’s connection to him will put him at risk from the FBI again. Arman is all too willing to answer any questions she has, and ugh at that open body language and the way he moves a little closer to her while they talk; meanwhile she’s got her arms folded again, just like I mentioned in my last recap– given we know how much she trusts him and feels safe with him, crossing her arms isn’t a sign of discomfort, but having to hold herself back from connecting  with him physically the way she wants to.  And ok yes, she’s fishing for info rn, but I have no doubt she’s going to tell him her concerns about Robert very soon. Now’s just not quite the time for that conversation haha (like I said, unconscious guy right there). But oh man I held my breath when he mentioned her meeting Robert– I assume it was Robert himself that mentioned Thony at some point, because I think it’s unlikely Thony would have brought it up and we already know Nadia is sticking with the story that she did all the work getting Arman out of jail. It makes sense to me that Thony didn’t tell Arman about the stripping down part, especially right now (again, unconscious guy), and tbh I’m glad, bc while I so desperately want him to know, I want him to find out from Robert himself, because I want him to go completely feral and attack him over it haha. (yes, I also have a WIP about this lol, and I know @chartreuseblueandyellow has already posted a fic which I can’t wait to read once I’m done with mine!). 

Poor Nadia. She talked all tough in front of Robert but honestly she’s perceptive enough to know how precarious their position is, that at any time Robert could tire of the game he’s playing with them and demand what he’s owed. She’s over here being deliberately sexy and charming and pushing Robert’s buttons– aka, playing her part– and where’s Arman? Skipping out on the job that he asked to do so he could go be with Thony (again, points to him for not lying about it tho). Honestly Nadia has every right to be pissed with him, and I’m happy she is, because it will lead to her pushing Arman away– which, conveniently, will allow him to continue on his path towards Thony. (I have an Ask to answer about the Nadia/Arman/Robert situation so I won’t go into it here). But anyway ugh this phone call is amazing because it makes it clear to both Thony and Fi that Arman is choosing to be here helping her even though it is causing issues in his marriage. Thony is clearly contrite about it– she knows the difficult position that their connection puts him in, the way it divides his loyalties, but she still can’t keep herself from repeatedly reaching out to him– but ugh “it’s never a problem for you to call” (translation: please please call me more, I will take any excuse I can get to see you, I will always be there for you) and then that eye contact??? Rude. I’m sad the shot ends a bit abruptly because I wanted to see more of Fi being like HELLO I AM STILL HERE AND SO IS THE UNCONSCIOUS GUY CAN THE EYE LOVE-MAKING WAIT UNTIL THIS SHITSHOW IS OVER PLEASE– and then the two of them do some awkward throat clearing and be all like “uh right so the unconscious guy…” lol

Speaking of MMM, he’s still zonked,  and ugh I love the shot of the little trio standing over him. Absolutely fantastic choice to have Fi standing between Arman and Thony– firstly it shows she’s getting just a fraction more comfortable with him, and secondly it means we are blessed with her looking back and forth between them like she’s watching a very slow and emotionally charged tennis match lol. Forever crying about how he’s so matter of fact about it– “you two can go, i’ll take it from here”-- bc lbr from the moment he heard on the phone that the guy had been a witness to Thony being present at Marco’s death, he knew he was going to kill him. I’m glad though that Thony tells him no and tries to find another solution, because it shows him that she didn’t just blithely assume he would come kill for her, and also that she is trying to protect him too by finding some other way to neutralise the guy without Arman having to get blood on his hands. I love his little smile as he gently explains Crime 101 to them (all witnesses gotta go)-- and then ugh she calls him out on the very notable exception, and omg THE NERVE OF THIS BOY to look at her with so much fucking softness and say “that’s because you’re different’. He doesn’t say ‘that’ was different, he says ‘YOU’RE’ different. Even from the start, he saw something in her, a similarity between them, a connection. He would never want to kill any innocent woman, but with her, taking her life would have felt like killing off something deep within himself, so instead he did the only thing he could do– he pulled her into his world, bringing her close, keeping her safe. So of course she’s different; she’s his, just like he is hers, each of them balancing out the other. Honestly this line was reminiscent of the ‘I’m in too deep now’ from 1x07 (but dialled up even further, ugh), and tbh I don’t know how Fiona was even able to stand being in that room with them right then lol, let alone literally in between them. Probably lucky she was, though, or they might have started making out right then and there, and the problem of MMM would never get solved lol

Uggghhh anyhow gotta move on. I love that Arman immediately relents when Thony insists on trying to scare MMM into silence first; he knows it won’t work, but he knows it’s important to her to try (and lbr, he’s already totally planning to come back and arrange an ‘accident’ for the guy later), so he helps her do what she needs to do. Not that he’s complaining; lbr he absolutely enjoyed showing off his sexy tough guy act for Thony, though not nearly as much as he enjoyed Thony’s quietly unhinged red market organ harvester act. The way his eyes go from her– from her calm expression, her cool and collected movements– to MMM’s face, seeing the fear that she is able to inspire with just her words, it’s clear that he is INTO this. You can even see him swallow hard at one point when she’s laying her hand over MMM’s liver, and honestly this scene is just Too Goddamn Much for me ugh. It’s not only the sexual tension (tho ngl I am getting some strong roleplay kink vibes here, y’all, particularly with a little light dom/sub flavour, lord help me) but it’s also the new level of understanding between them, the perfectly cohesive partnership, and what it means for both of them– for Thony, it’s knowing she can take charge and do something both risky and unfamiliar, and that she will be completely supported by him; for Arman, it’s seeing that Thony is not afraid to step deeper into the shadowy world he inhabits, that she can accept the darker side of him and all the terrible things he has done out of necessity, because she understands. I also love that their knees are just touching as she threatens MMM, a tiny physical reminder of that connection and support. The only shot I couldn’t quite figure out was Arman’s expression when she says that she’ll take the guy’s heart too, and that it sells for $1M– but I decided that it was him mentally being like ‘wait is that actually true???’ lol. Too bad you already gave your heart to Thony for free, huh Arman? :P  But ugh the way he looks up at her for her decision after the guy tells them where to find the file, and the smooth command in her voice as she tells him to stay there while she goes and checks it out-- like I said, the dom/sub vibes are REAL here kids (if you hear some kind of distant screeching/wailing sound, don’t worry, that’s just me not being able to deal with this in the slightest)

Ugh thank god, watching Fi be devastated by the video is actually easier to watch than any of that previous scene lol. I love Thony being savvy enough to wipe the drive, though I wish she’d been equally savvy in wearing some goddamn gloves so they didn’t now have to clean every inch of this room. But oooh the way Fiona is starting to see Thony more clearly now and realising that there is more to her connection to Arman than she’d previously assumed. I was worried when she said Thony was different with Arman; worried she meant it in a negative way, that she might judge what Thony had done, or act like her connection with Arman had tainted her somehow. But then instead she brought up Thony’s trust in him, and it was like ohhhhhhhhhh. Because in that bathroom Fi saw the side of Thony she used to see way back in her surgeon days– the decisiveness and the proficiency, the confidence and the self-assurance of someone feeling completely secure in the situation she was in. Of course, that side of her hadn’t completely disappeared in the time since she’d left work to have Luca, but it was rarer now, tempered by the constant strain she was under and the complete lack of support she received from anyone (other than the limited kind that Fi herself could provide). But with Arman, she is able to become that person again, because she knows she can trust him to be there, to support her in whatever way she needs. Fi knows it even before Thony confirms it (we’ve already heard her explicitly say that she trusts him, and have seen evidence of it countless times, but still, I died at the conviction in that ‘yes') and then ugh the “because he always shows up when I need him”. Honestly, the Backstreet Boys really captured it with “I don’t care who you are/ Where you’re from/ What you did/ As long as you love me” lol; Thony doesn’t care about Arman’s past, or that he sometimes has to do bad things– not only does she know the world is far more complicated than simply being split into Good and Bad (she’s even said as much, when detained with Garrett in 1x09), but Arman has also proven himself to her, proven that he’ll always be there when she needs him, that she matters to him in a way Marco never showed her. I often noticed the contrast between Marco and Arman in S1 in relation to Thony, how one of them would always only add to her burden while the other would always try to lighten it in any way he could. (Even in death, Marco added to that burden, but here Arman is, taking care of her yet again). But anyway ugh Thony swearing to Fi that she would do anything for their family but that sometimes that way is not going to be the way they want definitely ties back to Arman’s line in 1x01 about doing things ‘any way you can’.  And idk maybe it’s just me but “sometimes things just happen the way they happen” sure sounds a lot like “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to fall in love with a mob boss while still married to your brother, but here we are” lol. In which case, Fi’s acceptance with ‘Bahala Na’ could have a whole other level to it– whatever happens with Thony and Arman, happens… 

Well, those USBs were a lucky find lol. But ugh Arman’s concern when they come back into the room looking upset, and the freakin predatory glint he gets in his eyes when he says ‘he lied to us’ (idk why the us has me so affected lol, it’s the logical word choice, but damn if it doesn’t make me feel like he’s a member of the family now).  Poor Thony is so rattled tho– tbh she’d known right from the start that MMM was a problem that would need to be eliminated, and what that would likely mean, but then the apparent success of their little roleplay had really had her believing that silencing him could be achieved without bloodshed. But now she knows the truth, sees that Arman knew it all along. And I love that he knows she understands now, so he just lets her process and focuses on Fiona instead, all gentle and calm and reassuring with “You don’t have to. I promised to protect your family. I’ll take care of it.” Which, firstly, (*muffled screaming*) and secondly, according to Wiki, one of the meanings for Bahala Na– other than whatever happens, happens– is “I’ll take care of things”.  Which kinda seems slightly contradictory, but still, I love that through this other meaning, Arman is part of their Bahala Na pact with them. (Ngl I’m totally gonna adopt this concept in my own life, I love it.) Anyway I feel like the stunned look in her eyes is not just about the fact that MMM is going to have to die, but also that Arman is so prepared to do it for them. She still hasn’t clicked to the fact that Arman would do anything for Thony, which I guess is fair, considering this is the first time she’s even seen them together– but I think after this, the image she had in her head of the ruthless mob boss keeping Thony trapped in his grip is certainly going to be gone, replaced by that of a man with a complicated past who truly cares about (loves) her best friend. But anyway ugh the way Thony reached for Arman, holding on for that brief moment as she accepted what was about to happen– the touch both a request and an acknowledgement; she knows what needs to happen, and what will happen no matter what, but she still gives Fiona agency in that choice, just like Arman did for her earlier when he agreed to her plan. And the fact that she acknowledges that Chris is Fi’s son and so the decision is up to her shows that she is really listening to her and respecting her position in this situation, especially considering how Fi told her earlier in the ep that calling Arman wasn’t her decision to make. God this show is just freakin incredible with the nuance in its character interactions, I honestly can’t. (Also damn, Martha knocked this scene out of the fucking park, omg. What a queen.)

I also just cannot deal with Arman’s entire everything as he leans there against the counter (so goddamn rude, sir) or the small nod he gives Fi. But ugh then when Thony’s eyes lift to his, clearly pained, and he gently reassures her that it’s okay– he knows her hesitation is partly about the fact that she’s literally condemning a man to death, but lbr he also knows it’s more about the fact that he is going to have to be the one to carry that weight on his shoulders. He knows it, just like he knew in 2x02 that when she said she felt like she’d failed everyone, she wasn’t talking about Marco. And so when he says it’s okay, it’s not just ‘it’s okay, you had no choice, the guy had to die’, but ‘it’s okay. I choose to do this, and you don’t need to regret it, because I won’t.’ Ugggggghhhhhh. Honestly i cannot wait for their next scene together, because the way they look at each other after being even more deeply connected in this way is going to be A Lot. (And considering how intensely they already look at each other, I’m probably not going to survive this. Ah well, at least I'll die happy lol) 

Ok gotta say I’m definitely noticing a change in Garrett this season. I think it’s partly bc his dog-with-a-bone attitude isn’t being directed at Arman so much anymore, now that he’s caught up with getting Maya free of Cortez– he really does seem to care about Maya, and though he was blowing up thony’s phone with calls, he was begging for her to hand over the cloned phone rather than threatening her. I think he resorted to the threats last ep because he had to, but never had the intention of following through or continuing to make her work for him; it’s clear he has a soft spot for Thony and wants to help her when he can, and I liked that he actually showed genuine appreciation for her help, and that he agreed that it was a one-time thing– that she had done her part and he wouldn’t demand any more of her. At this stage it probably seems to him there's nothing else she could do anyway, though if he finds out she's connected to RK, that will almost certainly change… I also appreciated that when Fi called for Thony to help with the pregnant lady, he immediately checked if they needed extra help. And oh man I think I'm actually developing a weird grudging almost-fondness for him a little bit?? Like he's still an absolute jackass, but he's our jackass??  Tbh this must be how Russo feels lol

Wow Robert is clearly really enjoying having Nadia around haha. Can’t say I blame him, and tbh the ‘why are you asking me, I’m not your boss’ line was actually pretty good lol. (I feel like I need to add in a permanent disclaimer here: I still hate him and tbh hope he dies by the end of the season kill him Thony but his scenes with Nadia so far are not bad to watch). I can’t be bothered to say anything more about this scene– this is already so long, and I’m gonna talk more about these two in an Ask shortly– but basically I’m glad to see them getting closer, because it’s exactly what the season needs.

Ugh I have listened to this song (Mother, by Byland) so many times, and the vibes it gives about this show are so good. I liked the juxtaposition of Thony bringing a life into the world at the same time Arman was taking one out of it– it shows how they complement each other, how they fit together, ying-yang wise.  (Though dude it has to have been at least ten years since Thony delivered a baby, which is about the same as it has been for me, so damn I respect her doing that on her own without freaking out lol). Also I had a little giggle at Chris holding the baby– like oh ok sure, poor traumatised boy experiences the miracle of life and suddenly feels better. Congrats. I do hope the show won’t just have him be totally fine now– what he went through was huge and seeing the wrinkly little face of a fresh human is definitely not enough to erase that. But I guess we’ll see.

But anyway, I gotta say I respect MMM for just accepting his fate and not trying to yell or run. Sorry it had to be this way buddy, but you really did fuck up in threatening these two women specifically. Arman hesitating to shoot broke my heart a little; he really is a good man, and killing someone in self defense (eg Hayak, bald guy) is very different from an execution-style murder. I think it’s especially hard for him now because since knowing Thony, he has become more and more aware of that darker side of himself, and how much he hates it and wants to be better. But tonight at least, it’s that darkness that will keep Thony safe; left alive, this man will always be a threat to her, which is something Arman simply cannot allow. And it’s because of that– because of her– that he has the strength to pull the trigger. 

Okay jesus there we go. Almost 7k words later and I’m free of this episode haha. Like I said at the start (if any of you can even remember back that far) I am going to try and tone these down again from now on, but if y’all decide not to continue subjecting yourselves to these, I completely understand haha. But for any of you crazy masochists out there who want to continue– I’ll see you next week lol

[sylverstorms]

Cassandra x Maiden----Anonymity

Three months, two days and seven hours.

That is how long you’ve been in Dimitrescu castle for. If rumor is to be believed, you are well on your way to setting the year’s record for longest living maid. Well. ‘Maid’, according to their perception. Your mind always automatically corrects it to something more fitting:

Prisoner.  

You did not choose to work for them. You did not choose to be in this godforsaken place, cleaning crimson stains off the floors, trying to convince yourself the wailing that sometimes reaches your ears is simply the wind. You never would have imagined your life’s end like this, serving wine –no, who are you kidding, it’s too crimson for that— to the Dimitrescus at dinner until one of them snaps and drives the nearest blade into your throat.

Probably Daniela.

It’s not unheard of. And stories of other maids’ murders are plenty.

Daniela has bitten one’s throat off for the crime of addressing her wrongly. Cassandra has left increasingly deep gashes, some of which resulted in deaths, for random offenses, like staring at her for too long. Bela, arguably the more merciful of the three, has snapped necks only when the staff disrespected her sisters’ names, or her mother’s.

You aren’t sure if you want to thank the older maids for this information or yell at them for the nightmares it has caused you. You are lucky to not be in the village, they say –everyone there must already be dead. You are even luckier to have been taken from the dungeon by the Lady herself. It means the daughters don’t know you and the castle is big enough that they may never spare you a glance.

You hadn’t believed it, at first.

Yet in the three months of your stay, you have never come across anyone other than Bela in the sections you were assigned to clean and polish. She passed you by the hallway like she did the decorations and the furniture –and you couldn’t be happier about it. You have caught scarce glimpses of Alcina Dimitrescu, too. Never the other two residents.

Not until the fateful day another maid disappears and the staff’s assigned posts change. You have no say in it and no power to object.

May as well keep my head down and continue to work as carefully as I have. That is the idea. Not to look too much, or think too much, or feel too much. Avoid mistakes because those in the castle are fatal.  

It is a little difficult to remain utterly calm when the sound of swarming insects comes from far behind you, though.

Your blood starts to kick in your veins. Your heart wants to jump out of your chest and make a run for it. You lock your muscles down and summon all the willpower you possess to stay focused on your task.

Please be Bela, please, please, be Bela—

The buzzing dies down. Steps approach you in the otherwise silent hallway. They are too light to be Bela’s. You’re probably screwed, you think, but you keep cleaning the surface in front of you until it’s practically a mirror with how it shines.

The steps halt too close to you for comfort. Out of the corner of your eye, you realize they’ve left bloody imprints on the floor you’ve been polishing for hours now. Dainty, pale fingers are wrapped loosely, almost lazily, around a sickle dripping crimson.    

“Never seen you around, before.” the sound of her voice makes you freeze.

You stop and turn— to face none other than Cassandra Dimitrescu. Her hood is down, brunette waves on point, the dried blood at her chin a terrible contrast to her otherwise attractive face. You… didn’t know she was that pretty, up close.

“I… I have been here for three months. On the opposite wing.” you say. Was I even supposed to reply? You’ll find out soon enough, if your tongue is still attached to your body.

Her eyes give you a quick once-over. “Bela’s been keeping you a secret, huh.” she tsks. Her free hand goes to the handle of the door next to you… and only then do you realize it must be her bedroom. You’re literally assigned to clean the wolf’s den. “Come wake me up when the sun has set, completely.” she emphasizes.

What.

“Uh—”

The crimson-dyed sickle moves until its blade rests underneath your chin, lifting it so your eyes meet hers. From this angle, under the pale lighting of dawn, they look more –stunning— blue than inhuman gold. “No loud sounds. No lights. Got it?”

How can you not, when your life depends on it?

“Yes, my lady.” you reply. You don’t even dare draw breath.

“Good.” In one swift movement, the sickle is gone, the handle turned and she’s already shedding her robe.

You catch a glimpse of a black corset and a narrow waist before you avert your eyes.

The door shuts.

...

Waking Cassandra up can be… tricky, the other maids tell you.

She detests light when she opens her eyes but she also doesn’t want it to be pitch black. You’re not supposed to talk but you can’t shake her, either. Which brings you to the very logical question:

“What the hell am I supposed to do, then?”

To which they have no answer.

They have no answer, you realize with a start… because there’s nobody alive to tell the tale of how to actually wake the brunette sleeping beauty up without simultaneously signing their own death sentence.

The hours pass both too slow and too fast. The sun sets over the horizon.

And you stand, riddled with nerves, outside Cassandra’s room.

A deep inhale later, you turn the handle. The door is left half-open so a bit of light comes in from the hallway. Her bedroom smells like shampoo, bath salts and spices. She must have taken a shower before she went to sleep. You approach the figure tucked under the silken sheets of the queen-sized bed…

Cassandra is lying on her side, one hand underneath her pillow, the other extended loosely towards the edge of the mattress. She probably sleeps naked, at least from the waist up, but thankfully the covers are wrapped around her chest. Their royal red color makes a stark contrast against the paleness of her skin.

Her face is so… serene.

She is a monster and a sadistic killer, yet right there you can’t deny she looks more like a renaissance painting.

Now onto the hard part.

“My lady… the sun has set.” you whisper, kneeled on the floor beside her. No movement comes. “Hey… I’m here to wake you up?” you try again. Still nothing. Shakily, you bring your hand up to the bed. Not daring to touch her, you leave it beside hers, over the covers. “Cassandra?”

She turns her face deeper into her pillow –no, no, you don’t think it’s cute, what’s wrong with you— but at least she’s finally reacting. You call her name one more time.

Her nose scrunches up a little. Long fingers flex –and they touch yours. She’s cold. A pair of blueish ambers blink open to regard you. Not with malice, or with annoyance.

“Good evening.” you speak, unsure of what else to say.

A smirk slowly curves her lips. She looks like a lazy cat pondering whether or not it’s worth it to pounce and that’s not good. It’s not good, not ‘hot’ like your mind suggests. God, you’ve been in this castle so long you are starting to get messed up.

“Mm, breakfast in bed.” she grins and licks her lower lip sexily. Your eyes fly wide open, but her hand is already gripping the front of your black shirt, trapping you there.

How could you ever find this psycho attractive?! you get mad at yourself. Is she hot now that she’s going to kill you?  

But Cassandra only lets out an airy laugh and releases you. You fall backwards on your behind. “Breathe, darling, I’m joking.” She rolls onto her back and seems to wince from it. Her smile vanishes.

“…does… your back hurt?” you ask when you finally find your voice again.

“Ugh, a Lycan landed a hit on me. He’s pieces now, of course, but my muscles still pull.” she says it casually, like it’s a thing that happens.

Silence falls over the room. You take it as your cue to leave. You stand and bow while she’s looking blankly at the ceiling—

But she stops you.

“Wait. Come here.” you don’t like it when she gets that tone, like she came up with something she cannot wait to try. You’re already close to the bed, you’re not sure what she means. Until she pats the spot right next to her. “Don’t make me say it again.”

You won’t. You know what’s good for you.

Hesitantly, you take a seat on the –admittedly very comfortable— mattress. “Yes, lady?”

“Give me a massage.” she says like it’s your job, like she’s the rich woman in a spa and it’s what’s expected. She turns onto her front, bearing her naked back to you and you have less than five seconds to come to terms with the thought of straddling her.

Carefully, you bring your knees on either side of her thighs and pull the sheets so they rest low at her waist. You feel warmer than you should given the temperature of the castle. If she knows the fine teasing line she’s walking, she is loving every inch of it.

Cassandra loves being the center of attention and she loves being pampered, you realize.

It’s probably amusing to her to make you fluster, but this is also an opportunity for you to get on her good graces. She is a dangerous one and it’ll be a great asset for your survival if she’s leaning favorably towards you. Win-win situation. You just have to be good at your job. Like always.

By some miracle of God, you do know how to work the tension out of muscles.

The first time you touch her, you simply rest your hands on her back to warm it. She doesn’t seem to object, from the way lean muscle stretches out under your fingers. Cassandra feels cool, but not hard like marble. Her skin yields under your touch, soft and smooth.

As you apply more pressure to your stokes, she starts to let out little sighs that you have to mute in your mind before they start to affect you. You’ve been high-strung and without sex for too long. Your body all too eagerly intercepts this death-trap as foreplay.

Minutes roll by.

You alternate between all the methods you know. The one that really seems to get her is when you drive your thumb into the knots and end with a little circle.

Cassandra is –God help you— openly moaning every time you press more. It is a bit too much pressure you’re applying though and you don’t know if you’re hurting her and she’s just into it.

“Is this too much…?” you ask. Fuck, why do you sound so breathless?

“No, it’s good.” she husks back.

“Harder?” You don’t know what innocent means, anymore.

Cassandra sends that little smirk again over her shoulder. “Harder.” she replies and the extra flair she puts into it is enough to nearly fry your brain. And other parts of you.

You’re pretty sure you need a cold shower by the time you leave her room.

...

At diner, you hang back in the shadows, gaze downcast.

You do not need to know what the Dimitrescu family is eating, nor what they’re drinking. You do not need to see Cassandra or risk catching Daniela’s gaze. You love your anonymity in the castle. It has kept you alive.

But it is shattered like frail glass when you bring another bottle of Sanguis Virginis to the table. You’ve almost retreated back to your place, when Daniela’s eyes zero in on you.

“She’s the human!” she exclaims like she’s made the world’s most startling discovery. Bela seems to understand, but the Lady and Cassandra frown over their glasses.

“I am almost afraid to ask, love.” Lady Alcina says…

And she’s right.

“The one who made Cassandra go ‘harder’ and ‘yes, yes!’ earlier this evening.” she impersonates in her sluttiest voice and then breaks into a fit of cackles. Bela’s lip twists into a withheld chuckle.

Lady Dimitrescu nearly chokes on her wine.

Cassandra slaps the back of Daniela’s head. “You’re such an idiot.”

“Girls.” Alcina warns and glares until the table calms again.

Then, her eyes curiously fall upon you.

So much for your anonymity.

Ko-Fi