#i’m just being sappy and emo and missing him

[angelsonthesideline]

Me: Absolutely ecstatic and happy that he’s on his birthday present boys weekend away

Also me: missing him way more than I expected

[girlboypersonthingy]

I'm not sure if you only do x readers but if you do ships could you please do headcanons for klance when keith is away at the blade of marmora?

feel free to ignore it if you don't like klance or don't do ships that's completely fine :)

I love your writing btw!

OMGGGG THANK U SM UR SO NICE 😘 AND YES KLANCE OWNS MY WHOLE ENTIRE HEART. I’ll do pretty much any ship as long as the characters aren’t far apart in age. Ah little space boyfriends 😩 ENJOY~

Klance- When Keith is way with the blade of marmora

First of all, Lance is sooooo annoying when Keith is away. Bro will not shut up about his super hot grumpy emo boyfriend. Keith’s name leaves Lance’s mouth at least 199 times a day, if not more.

Second of all, Keith is the complete opposite. He gets really really quiet, more quiet than he normally is. He doesn’t mention Lance at all but his name never leaves Keith’s mind. He only really gets talkative around Lance so without him, Keith doesn’t talk unless he has to.

THEY TOTALLY SWAP JACKETS BEFORE KEITH LEAVES EVERY TIME!!! Keith has literally turned around and come back to the castle just to get Lance’s comfy green jacket. Keith likes Lance’s jacket bc it smells good and actually keeps him really warm. Lance likes Keith’s jacket bc it’s small and scuffed up and worn but he prefers to hold Keith’s jacket close to him rather than actually wear it all the time. He’ll just walk around the castle with the red jacket thrown over his shoulder or clutched tightly in his arms.

When Keith is only gone for a couple days, Lance gets sooooo excited when he returns to the castle. He goes running through the halls with red cheeks and the biggest grin to meet Keith in the hangar when he arrives.

“KEEF!!!” “I told you to stop calling me that.” “I missed you! Did you miss me? Oh my quiznak, you totally missed it! Pidge caught a piece of equipment on fire yesterday. It was so crazy and-“ Cue Lance talking Keith’s ear off while he just smiles and nods along.

If Keith is gone for longer than like a week, bruh it’s so dramatic when they finally reunite. Just picture a teary-eyed Keith on his knees, still in his blade suit, clutching a happy crying lance in his arms. They just miss each other sooooooo much.

The whole team is like 🥹🥹🥹

Pidge specifically is like “I’m not crying, you are…”

Pretty much every time Keith is traveling back to the castle, he’s exhausted. There’s a lot of pressure on him, a lot of weight on his shoulders right now. He’s always on high alert, super tense and barely getting sleep. BUT when he finally sees Lance again and hears his voice and feels his embrace, he gets a sudden rush of energy. Now he wants to pull another all nighter just to catch up and spend time with his bf.

Oddly enough, Lance spends a lot of his time in the training room when Keith is gone. No one’s really sure why but Shiro thinks is bc Keith is always training and so being in that room makes Lance miss him less, ya know? Pidge is like 99% sure it’s bc he wants to actually practice so he can impress Keith with a super cool new move he learned when he gets back. Pidge is correct

If Keith has any down time while he’s away, he likes to just daydream. There’s not much else he can do so he stares off into the distance and gets lost in thoughts about his tall dreamy boyfriend and the last time they made out and how he can’t wait to feel his thin arms around him again and how he misses the smell of his nightly face masks and the sound of his voice and the texture of his hair and the freckles on his tan face. I could go on for days.

The second Keith leaves, Lance begins planning 😈 He racks his brain with cute date idea and nice things he can get/make for his bae. Every time Keith returns, after the initial hugging and kissing and excited smiles and small talk, Lance is giving Keith something nice or trying to take him out for a space picnic or some sappy shit like that.

Pretty much every time a date is planned, it never happens. Keith first complains that he’s too tired to go anywhere and then convinces Lance to makeout cuddle with him in bed instead.

But Keith does get really flattered and smiley and red when Lance gives him a pretty rock he found on a planet close by or a stuffed animal from the space mall or something like that. He just feels so special and he thinks Lance is just way too cute and pure for this world. He’s like ‘aww he was thinking about me’.

While Lance runs his mouth all day about missing Keith and anticipating his return, the night time is different. Lance cuddles Keith’s jacket or pillow in bed and lays awake for a while wondering exactly what he’s up to at this very moment. Is Keith thinking about him right now too? Is he safe? When will be be back? Poor baby boy is stressed about the love of his life.

Lance often has nightmares when Keith isn’t in bed beside him. It’s almost the same bad dream every time, just slightly different. It’s always Keith is on a mission with the blade and ends up hurt or lost or…worse. And Lance wakes up in a cold sweat every time. He wouldn’t know what to do with himself if Keith never came back to him.

Keith will never mention it to anyone ever but he has bad dreams when he’s away from Lance too. He often dreams that he returns to the castle to find the whole team gone, Shiro Lance Pidge, everyone. It scares the hell out of him, he loses sleep over it a lot.

That’s why they’re so intense when they reunite after a long time away from each other. The longer they are apart, the more they both worry about the other and the more these terrifying dreams occur. So when they finally see each other again after like a two month mission, they’re so overwhelmed with happiness and relief that they are both brought to tears.

When they finally sleep beside each other again, OH MY GOD THEY BOTH SLEEP SO GOOD. They feel so comfy and content and safe.

Keith snores pretty much every night but when he comes back after a long mission and finally gets to fall asleep next to the love of his life, his snoring can be heard from Earth probably. He’s just finally relaxed enough to get some good sleep again, he can’t help it. Lance thinks it’s cute and he knows it’s bc his poor baby is sleep deprived.

Long story short, these two are so deeply and madly in love. I don’t think two people have ever been this in love before. Throughout this entire space war, the thought of each other is what really keeps them both going. They’re fighting for the safety of the universe…but they are each other’s universe 💙❤️💙❤️

[m1ckeyb3rry]

NOO I LOVED IT SM!!! I’m fr sick a sucker for this trope I love how it’s kept like the essence of the tension in the relationship but still distinguishes itself from fwtkac!! I’m never getting over the childhood friends addition though it’s just so ugh >>>>> I think that really helped spice up the dynamic too to keep it diff!! And I MISS MY WIFE KARASU SHDGS so real what a sappy loser I love him

Bro is so whipped he’s spilling his heart out to her the minute he gets the chance to talk to her LMAOOO

LMFAO I’m not gonna lie that “I WAS SIX” line hit me like I was fully like team y/n then he says that and I’m like oh yeah wait huh he kinda has a point

Also I LOVE HOW YOU WROTE HIS MEDIOCRITY COMPLEX!!! It reminds me of the light novel scene where Hiori is like you’re amazing and flawless but karasus like nah bro I gotta juggle school life friends etc which now it’s clear he said that because of how hard he works to not be mediocre (Lowk the puzzle pieces are coming together now that we see him interacting with Nagi a bit too) but I cannot lie the effortless genius plus the hardworking achiever will always have a special place in my heart… like part of him admires the natural born geniuses but another part of him feels conflicted and envies them for the way they’re so extraordinary…goodbye

Karasu is SO bf material i swear every post i see doing the flags trend shoves him into red flag and im here sitting like did we read the same series..?

HIS FIVE FANS Karasu nation we will grow trust….here stanning both Karasu and Mira in Mira we trust!!! I seriously don’t know if I would’ve made it to s2 if I hadn’t found your blog like

LMAOOO they were so foul but so funny but omg Lowk scared about what’s gonna happen to yuta but im hoping for a miracle

Baya having a side hustle so true…

THE KARASU CAT SHSHSHSHSH SO TRUE but also THE SIAMESE CAT ugh so real this is kinda unrelated but this fic reminded me how much I want to know more details about Karasu’s family and home background like please give us more crumbs epinagi

Anyways I ate that up so fast I cannot wait to see what you write next

-Karasu anon

CHILDHOOD FRIENDS MY FAV DYNAMIC FR omg i love it sm i will insert it into literally any fic possible (although i haven’t written it for a longer project in a hot sec 😭💔). i think it really does magnify any dynamic 10x — like angst, fluff, romance, etc all becomes more intense when it’s childhood friends involved (which is why a certain someone’s request for a childhood friend’s fic w otoya has me pumped asf HEHE once i finish up my event stuff i’ll probably work on that next)

I MISS MY WIFE KARASU SO REAL SO TRUE imagine he’s in bllk like emo asf and otoya is like yo what’s wrong…and he’s like “i miss my girlfriend 😭😭😭😭😭😔😔😔😔😔💔💔💔💔💔” and he’s so dramatic abt it that otoya thinks she’s dead?? so he’s like damn sorry 4 ur loss but then he sees her during the break and thinks she’s a ghost or smth LMAOAOA

NO FR like okay y/n you have a point you ate you did in fact gag him a bit i fear…but also bro was six why are you still mad to this DAY!! like i said they both had points and it really was more of a miscommunication thing because in the end both of them just wanted to be friends again but were too stubborn to speak up about it

i actually think freaky friday y/n is quite similar to nagi just to a much lesser extent (because she. yk. has friends and parental figures and whatnot) so i do think that karasu envies her as much as he did nagi/other prodigies — however he’s simultaneously so in love that he doesn’t care because he’s too busy being awed by her that he could never truly hate her yk…like he wants to be someone on her level but not necessarily her?? idk. i think you could also delve into how y/n admires his work ethic and attentiveness and wishes she was as relatable and likable as him because the envy kinda goes both ways w them!!

WHENEVER I SEE KARASU BEING PUT AS A RED FLAG I SCREAMMMM BRO HE IS NOT!! he, yuki, barou, hiori, nanase, and MAYBE isagi are like the only green flags in the entire bllk program the rest are varying shades of yellow to red tbh 😭 barou and karasu might be rude on the field but they both are like canonically respectful to women they would be GOOD BFS leave my men tf alone 😰 karasu literally still remembers his first crush don’t lump him in w otoya and aiku just because he’s a sarcastic black haired baddie 😕

HAHA omg yay i’m glad you found me 💖 karasu nation will multiply as SOON as he scores on rin and shidou’s team LMAOAO i know for a fact so many people will convert to tabieitaism just because they’re shown to be so cool during the third selection (going to take so many screenshots of karasu being all “😒 so immature 😒” @ shidou vs rin) i can feel it in my bones…but we have BEEN here hehe putting in the work fr

I JUST NEED TO SEE KARASU’S SISTER 🙏🏻 and yesss cat owner karasu agenda needs to spread he’s such a kitty cat coded man LMAO (so is hiori but in the opposite way somehow). actually on the subject i also need to see otoya’s siblings…and mayhaps a baby nagi panel or two…so many things that epinagi needs to deliver to me w a swiftness

YAYY thank you sm i will hopefully have some more stuff out soon!! the next few requests i have to do aren’t bllk-related unfortunately but after that i have two hiori requests left from my event and then i get to yours!! plus hopefully more hollyhock and maybe even a peregrine comeback…dare i say…don’t get your hopes up but also i miss nagi UGHHHH

[lmanburg-letter-service]

Hi Wil,

It’s Christmas! I’m alone. It sucks that you’re not here.

Figured I’d bother you with a letter instead of staying in bed all day. All that Emo stuff is more your sort of thing anyways.

Hope you’re having a good one, spending it with Phil? I hope you’re not also on your own. One of us has to have something good this year, at least. I didn’t get anything, though I did buy myself a little dragon keychain. He’s green and blue! Super cool looking. His name is Simon.

It’s my first time spending the holidays entirely on my own. Exile maybe comes close, but even then I still had some visitors. Still got gifts. I miss spending Christmas with people who care. It used to be my favourite holiday. I don’t know if I still think that.

I love you. Even through all the shit we’ve gone through, I loved you. I think I could have handled anyone else leaving, but you were- are! Too important to me.

I don’t say it a lot, but it’s Christmas. You are the most amazing Brother I could ask for. Even better than Techno (do NOT tell him that)!! I can’t send you a real present, so hopefully having written proof that you’re the better Big Brother will be a present enough. Philza is still the only man ever though, until you also become a wife haver, I can’t consider you for that prestigious role just yet.

Yeah, prestigious- I know big words!

If you are With Dad and Techno, can you tell them I miss them..? I’d send them their own letters but…mm. I don’t know if they still think I’m family. They’re mine. They’ll always be Family. You will always be Family.

Ugh. Being lonely really makes me sappy. Gross.

Don’t expect this often! I have a reputation to keep up you know! Christmas is an exception though, I guess. I can be sappy just this once.

Maybe next year we’ll meet again. I’ll keep an eye out for you.

From your favouritest brother ever (You can’t deny it!! It’s Christmas!!)

-Tommy Big Man Innit (Fictive - 🌞☁️)

[Letter sent!]

[v-hope]

Coffee shop, 5:29PM — Tiger Flower

Thanking the waitress after she had placed your order on the table, you focused your attention on Jeongguk, watching him take a sip of his usual order of hot chocolate whenever the two of you went out together, before your eyes unconsciously travelled —for what could easily have been the hundredth time — back to the bouquet of flowers he had gotten you not even thirty minutes ago.

After almost crying and having thanked him over and over, the two of you had decided to take a little detour from your way back home to go get some coffee together instead —or well, one coffee, one hot chocolate, and one piece of cake to share, to be more precise— and, whatnot, spend some more quality time just the two of you for a little longer.

And as Jeongguk put his cup back down on the table, he couldn’t help but smile adoringly at the way you were ever so dreamily staring at the flowers.

“Have you always loved flowers this much?” he couldn’t help but wonder, drawing your attention to him.

“Liked them, always” you smiled softly. “Loved them, since high school”.

“High school?” his heart skipped a beat.

“Mhm…” you nodded, taking a small sip of your coffee. “I don’t know if you knew, but I used to have a secret admirer back then,” the heat reached your face at the mention of that, missing the way it had also reached Jeongguk’s on the other hand. “He would leave flowers on my seat every week… There was a point everyone in the classroom was talking about it though, so you might have heard”.

Jeongguk cleared his throat, nervously grabbing his fork and taking a bit of cake with it. “I did,” he rushed to swallow. “Everyone was really into trying to find out who it was”.

You laughed at said memory, taking a small bite of cake as well. “Yeah… I remember that”.

“So you love flowers because of that then?”

You nodded. “It’s more than that though, I…” a sigh escaped your lips, receiving a small nod from Guk for you to go on. “This is gonna be really emo and sappy,” you warned him, only to receive another nod for an answer. “But after Junseo cheated on me for the second time I was really miserable,” the sound of said name, along with hearing the way he had made you feel back then, made his blood boil. “And I became really toxic towards myself, like… I don’t know, I just kept bringing myself down and hating myself, because for some reason I thought it was my fault—”

“The only one at fault was that worthless asshole” Jeongguk spat, earning a cackle from you; both because of said insult and the bliss you felt at the fact that he was always so eager to defend you.

“I know that now,” you smiled sincerely. “But back then I didn’t, and for a good while I thought I was not good enough and no one would ever really love me, because honestly everyone always chose Sooyeon… or someone else over me…” your previous smile turned melancholic, and it took everything in Jeongguk not to reach for your hand right then. “And then when I was doing a little better I remembered the flowers and my secret admirer,” you lightened up, becoming visibly shy. “And I don’t know… I just thought, that maybe there is someone out there for me, who would choose me, and... ugh, this is turning so sappy”.

“It’s okay,” he was fast to reassure you when you covered your face with your hands, gently grabbing your wrists for you to let him see your face once again. “You can tell me”.

At his reassuring words and the way his soft eyes remained on you, you smiled, placing your hands back on the table, as he let go of them, and taking a deep breath before you went on.

“I mean, I’m not saying that my secret admirer particularly is the one for me, it’s been years after all,” you shook your head as a light laugh escaped your mouth. “But the fact that there was one person who felt that way about me, who for an entire year took some of his time to make me feel special, gives me hope that maybe there is someone else out there who will see me that way, too”.

“I’m sure there’s more than one person…” he mumbled, bringing his cup up to his mouth so he could take a sip of his hot chocolate.

And although his voice had been barely audible, you managed to hear his words nevertheless — a shy smile curving up your lips at the sound of that.

“So uh… yeah, that’s why I get so happy whenever I see flowers. They’re like a nice little reminder of that new mindset of mine” your eyes fixed once again on the bouquet, causing Jeongguk to smile wholeheartedly.

“Yeah… the look on your face whenever you see them says it all”.

“I guess I can’t really control it at this point” you chuckled, leaning back on your chair. “Although it was mostly one particular kind of flower, which I don’t really see much around… You know, like this orange lily with a few dots on it—”

“A tiger lily” he informed before he could stop himself.

“Yeah!” you agreed cheerfully. “You know them?”

“Uh, yeah…” he shifted on his seat, clearing his throat once again. “I saw you with them a few times and got curious, so…”

“I had to google the way they looked like to find their name as well,” you obliviously laughed. “I had never seen them until then”.

“Me neither” he lied, like it was so normal by now regarding this topic.

“But yeah, in the end I just ended up loving all kinds of them” you admitted, bringing your coffee up to your lips. “It would’ve been nice to know who it was though…”

“You never knew?” he went on, acting as oblivious as you.

You shook your head no. “I was really sad when no one confessed to me at our graduation…” you recalled. “I mean, it was a whole year, I really thought the flowers would be followed by a love confession or something, and everyday I waited for it... but then the year went on and no one did… and I was like ‘okay, maybe they plan on doing it at the graduation’, but nothing happened again and I…” you sighed. “I was really hoping for someone to come up to me and be like ‘hey there, I’m your flower boy, let’s date!’ but oh well”.

Jeongguk couldn’t help but laugh at that particular confession, shaking his head in amusement as you stared at him quite puzzled.

You were really something else.

“Hey there, I’m your flower boy?” he repeated in disbelief, laughing harder when you nodded ever so determinedly.

He had came up with and practiced so many lines during that year for the moment he confessed, and not once had he thought of such words. Then again, it was you the one he was confessing to; he should’ve guessed a simple, upfront and quite amusing confession would be what you would be content with.

“Yah! What’s so funny about it?” you crossed your arms over your chest when he chuckled once again.

“I don’t think anyone would confess that way, petal” he broke it to you.

You rolled your eyes, trying to hide your amusement. “Why not? Gets the point across”.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right”.

“I wonder why they never did…” you puckered your lips as you were deep in thought, finally locking your eyes with his. “You would’ve confessed, right?”

That question alone was enough for him to almost choke on the hot beverage he had just sipped on. “W-What?”

“If you did that for the person you liked, I mean,” you elaborated, managing to calm him down at the realisation of you not assuming it had been him all along. “You would’ve confessed, wouldn’t you?”

“Yeah…” he answered quietly, recalling that being his plan for a good while. “But, you know… maybe he thought you’d reject him if he ever did…”

“I would have never”.

“You’re just saying…”

“No, honestly. I’m being dead serious” you stated, causing his heart to jump at your determined semblance. “I was truly willing to give anyone a chance. Someone who makes such effort for me deserves at least that”.

“Maybe they were the exception…” Jeongguk shrugged. “Maybe they knew you wouldn’t feel that way about them no matter what”.

“No, I mean it” you stood your ground. “I… fuck, Guk, I wouldn’t have cared if it was one of my closest friends or someone I barely ever talked to, or even if it was a girl for that matter, I’m really not closed to the idea of love at all. Although I ended up narrowing it down to two guys, according to my own analysis” you laughed breathily, proudly nodding at your conclusion. “But yeah… I get that a relationship is more than just giving someone flowers, and maybe we wouldn’t have worked out in the end, but they would’ve had a chance with me for sure”.

And right then, for the first time, Jeongguk had to bite his tongue not to speak. Because having the person you currently have feelings for, who also happens to be your high school crush whose secret admirer you used to be, right in front, implicitly telling you she would have given you a chance if you had confessed back then, was enough to want to confess all over again.

But he was three years too late.

And he was your friend now.

And you had feelings for his best friend.

And, last but not least, the 18 year old Jeongguk who had been told you would never feel anything for him, no matter how hard he tried or how many flowers he got you, was still too insecure to ever let you know he had been your secret admirer all along; because, although you had just told him otherwise, he could not help but believe you truly wouldn’t have wanted him in particular to be it.

So, he said nothing.

“So you narrowed it down to two guys, you say?” he asked instead, having another bite of cake.

“Mhm…” you nodded quite eagerly. “Dohyun and Jinwoo”.

Jeongguk took another sip of his drink.

Pft.

Dohyun, one of your friends back then who wouldn’t even try to hide his crush on you.

Jinwoo, the guy who would always get your attention by annoying the hell out of you.

He wondered why them. Why them and not him. What did they have and he didn’t, what made them eligible as your possible suitors and not him.

But he wouldn’t get there, he had already asked enough. And you not suspecting of him was actually good, right? Your friendship wouldn’t become awkward because of something he did as a teenager.

And yet, a part of him really wanted you to notice it was him. Because he had came up with the idea of anonymously giving you flowers with the whole point of confessing to begin with, and having two other guys —who had never done shit to win you over— unintentionally taking the credit for it, did make every single effort to win you over he had ever made seem worthless than ever.

Fuck, he wished he could just stop giving a damn and tell you the truth for once and for all.

a/n: i know there might be a few things you guys won’t get (if you do tho you’re awesome), but everything will make sense (hopefully) the next part 👀

[aphroditewritings]

Yandere Bokuto

Sometimes she truly wonder how he managed to convince her to come here every time.

As soon as her and Bokuto started dating during the middle of their second years, he had outright begged for her to be there for all of his practices and games. Him staring up at her with those big beautiful yellow puppy dog eyes when she would tell him she might not be able to make his practice that night and spend an hour or two laying or sitting up in the bleachers waiting for Bokuto to finish with his team and take her home, that sometimes she just wants to go home first and rest.

“B-but I’ve been working on a new spike I want to show you! You can’t just leave me!” he would pout big beefy arms draping over her smaller form and causing a scene wherever they were. It wasn’t like she was genuinely uncomfortable when she went which she was grateful for. Bokuto made sure she always had food to eat, something to drink, stuff to keep her occupied for a long time including the DS and Tablet he had gotten her a few Christmas’s ago always at use and her fluffy blanket and pillow stuffed into her separate little duffel bag he had for her in his locker with the rest of her stuff that she used when laying out on the matt the coach always gave her not wanting to let the girl suffer on the uncomfortable bleachers every time she was there. Which was in fact every practice and/or game they had. He figured it was the least he could do for her knowing that on the rare days where under no circumstance she could show up, Bokuto missed balls like he was downright getting paid to make himself look like a fool. So he usually laid out one of the thick rubber matts in the corner of the gym or against the bleachers letting her be more comfortable and using her pillow and blanket than laying on the floor or sitting in the cold medal seats.

It had baffled most of the team at first, seeing the girl trudge through the gym doors every Tuesday and Thursday and game, even showing up for most of the extra practice days they had in the town gym on Sunday’s. Despite being homeschooled herself, being able to spend the day away and in peace from her growing more and more clingy boyfriend gave her a chance to breath. But the day would eventually roll around where Bokuto had a practice or god forbid a game where he expected her to show up with signs and cheering for him louder than anybody, when his mother would pull into her driveway and honk the horn her being just as rambunctious and hyper as her son excitedly driving the girl to said practice or game on the days when her own mother couldn’t drop her off.

Both of their mothers like the true sappy romantics they were always talked about how happy and cute the couple seemed. Bokuto hardly ever went into his “emo phase” as it was called when she was around, his own mom gushing about how much happier she made her son and how grateful she was that Bokuto had met her and how bright and loving her son was when he got to see her.

Hugging her plaid sweater closer to her body she watched as the city passed by her view, tall buildings and skyscrapers becoming fewer and fewer as the minutes passed until Bokuto’s moms car came to a stop in the parking lot outside of the gym. “They should be just starting, see you both in a little bit, sweetie” the woman beamed at her knowing she was coming over to their house to stay for the weekend, something Bokuto suprisingly talked her own mom into letting her do.

Giving the kind woman a small smile she grabbed her small backpack and the bag of fast food his mom had gotten her and Bokuto, hopping out of the car and dusting off her shorts before waving and prying open the gym doors the squeaking and rustic sounds making everyone in the gym turn to look at her.

“Baby!” she heard an exasperated voice yelp before feeling strong arms wrap around her the strong sent of faint sweat and the expensive calonge she had gotten him for his birthday her boyfriend always had on invading her senses. “Hey” she whispered quietly trying to not notice the entire team snickering to themselves as Bokuto planted little kisses everywhere on her face like she had been gone for months. In reality it had only been a few nights, Fukurodani cancelling their Tuesday practice that week because of bad weather and not wanting any students to get hurt walking home.

“Bokuto stop” she whined when he nuzzled his face into her neck breathing in her perfume he always told her he was obsessed with. She was beginning to think that her perfume wasn’t the only thing he was utterly obsessed with. “People are watching” she added finally shoving him back and little and getting a big pout from him. He still held onto her waist eyeing her hungrily and merely shrugged when he heard somebody let out a whistle behind them.

He cupper her jaw in his hand giving her lips a deep passionate kiss and swirling their tongues together before finally stepping back when he heard his coach telling him to quit fooling around and focus now that she was here. “I’ll be over here ok?” she said gesturing her head to the matt in the corner of the gym getting an eager nod from him and watched him run off back to the court. Taking out her blanket and pillow and popped down onto the matt and after eating some of her food fell asleep into a small nap.

Twirling the keys in his hand Bokuto watched as the last of the team piled out of the gym doors the coach giving him instructions to lock up the building for the night. A simple task they knew he could do despite him being...him. It was only putting some stuff away and locking the doors for the night, nothing anybody on the team hadn’t done a million times in the past before them all believeing it was only fair if everybody took turns in locking up instead of placing it all on one person all the time.

Giving one last wave to Kuroo who exited the gym Bokuto quickly put away the racks of volleyballs and mock scoreboards before slowly walking over to Y/N who slept peacefully on the gym matt. Getting on his knees Botuto brushed some hair back from her eyes before placing a light kiss on her lips. He hesitantly lifted the blanket off of her body his breath hitching a bit seeing her shorts had rode up on her body a bit in her slumber. Nervously he crouched in front of her pealing her legs open and beginning to unbutton her shorts lightly enough where she wouldn’t wake up.

He had woken her up like this before. Face buried deep and practically inhaling her, his talented and eager tounge bringing her to a wake up call in the form of an orgasm. He had just never done it like this in a place like this is all but he knew you wouldn’t mind. Lifting up ur hips a tad he helped pull your short and panties down tossing them to the side on the gym floor and licking his lips knowing the real treat was to come. Lowering himself down he parted your tighs and used his thumbs to spread your folds apart, his finger lightly rubbing your clit while he practically drooled at the sight.

“Your so pretty baby” he cooed gather spit in his mouth and letting it drop onto your clit dripping down your cunt. Your hips bucked up at the feeling of the cold air your whimers indicating you were going to wake up soon if he continued. Wanting to waste no time he kissed up and down your pussy lips, tongue darting out to lick over your clit. A small gasp came from your mouth you stirring in your sleep making him smirk. “Stay still gorgeous, I got you” he whispered before cracking his neck then diving in.

His lips immediately wrapped around your clit, sucking on it and twirling it around with his tongue in fast motions making your eyes snap open and gasp louder at the feeling. Your eyes darted around trying to access your sourroundings but the feeling of Bokuto’s mouth made your moan and try to arch your back of the matt as he greedily sucked your clit in his mouth. One hand reached up and pushed down on your pelvis making your back fall flat again and more intensely feel what he was doing.

“N-not here Bok—AH!” she exclaimed feeling his fingers entering her and his tounge increasing its pace. Pumping in and out of her and sighing contently into her pussy the vibration going straight to her clit at hearing the squelching sounds coming from her. “Please” she pleaded trying to buck her hips away in embarrassment at the feeling of everything happened echoing loudly off the walls of the gym and in their ears. He continued to lap at her sucking everything up he could and burying his face as deep as it would go, quiet groans and hums of approval and delight coming from him at the sounds she was making for him.

“We’re gonna get caught” she tried to reason only to let out a moan at the end as his thumbs pealed back her clit hood even more and his tounge swirling across the swollen puffy bead. “Don’t worry, the cameras won’t see us I’ve already turned off the lights” he said before sucking her clit back into her mouth and starting to sissor inside of her when he found her sensitive spot. Eyes widening Y/N looked around happy to find that Bokuto meant it when he said that no one but him would ever look at her like that and that he still respected her privacy.

It was pitch black in the gym, the small corner they were in having none of the school cameras in it and only a single few strands of moonlight peaking in over the window above the gym doors shining right down on her pussy and where Bokuto was continueing his brutal and fast pace. “Just let go baby I’m here” he coaxed giving a few kitten licks to her clit before sucking on it again and playing around with it with his tounge before she squealed, finally feeling the coil on her stomach release and snap into white eyed pleasure.

But he didn’t stop at that.

Fucking her through it with his fingers still he ckuckled before bringing his mouth back down and continuing to devour her making her squirm in overstimulation. “Bo I can’t, p-please I need a break” she gasped watching and biting her lip at him slyly looking up at her but continueing to lap at her hungrily. “No breaks” he said giving a loud smack to her butt making her shriek and curl her toes knowing she was in for a night of not being able to walk the next day.

Minutes continued and seemed to drag on and on, the slurping sounds of her boyfriend still lapping at her cunt in the gym until she had came a good 4 times, or maybe 5. She wasn’t really counting and instead wailing and sobbing, tears falling down her face in sheer pleasure as an unfamiliar sensation boiled in her stomach. “B-b-bo I feel like I need to pee” she confessed bashfully knowing she could tell him anything. He chuckled a little continueing to finger fuck her, “You just have to come baby, maybe squirt but it’s ok, it’s all ok I’m with you” he said making her moan even louder and clench down harder when he returned back to sucking her clit again. He cares so much.

“Ah, ah, ah I’m—“ her breath got caught in her throat, a loud wail coming from her as she squirted out liquid onto Bokuto’s chin and mouth him sucking and eating it up like a dog continueing to stimulate her through her orgasam. Finally letting up and allowing her to close her thighs when she began convulsing at the feeling of him still down there he all but jumped up placing a kiss onto her mouth and letting her taste herself as he assisted it getting her clothes back on.

“Mmm” you moaned deeply feeling him give your panty and shorts covered pussy a light tap, the small feeling enough to make you jump. “Let’s get you going” he said excitedly grabbing her things in his arms and picking her up bridal style bringing her outside and carrying her to his home.

[brandstifter-sys]

Pup

Word Count: 1922                     (Ao3)

Pairing: Dukexiety

Characters: Remus, Roman, Virgil

Rating: T

Warnings: food, innuendo

Remus gets turned into a dog and the only way to break the curse is true love’s kiss. So he’s ready to live as a pooch. Until he encounters Virgil and learns something new.

-------------------------

When she wasn't planning for their next LARP session, or trying to defeat the prince in said sessions, the Dragon Witch was actually quite a lovely lady. She kept the imagination running smoothly for the twins when Thomas needed them. She was fun, and usually up for brainstorming sessions. But it wasn't all that rare that the brothers pissed her off, usually Remus. That's why he was in this predicament. 

There was something about being tiny that really unsettled the unsettling duke. But Remus couldn't let a little discomfort stop him from getting to the kitchen! He trotted through the common area, his fluffy tail bouncing over his haunches, hoping that no one else was around to see him at this hour.

The kitchen was in his sights but his blood ran cold when he smelled someone in there with turkey cold cuts. He sneezed and went for it, no one would know it was really him so he could handle some baby talk if it meant he could steal a sandwich. 

"What the—" Virgil said as the telltale sound of claws tapping on the floor caught his attention. He turned around from the counter and his jaw dropped. 

"He needs to take better care of his pets," he sighed and squatted, holding out his hand. Remus stepped forward and sniffed his hand, just to keep up the act. 

"How'd you get out, little guy? Did Princey forget to close his door?" Virgil asked in a calm voice. Remus couldn't help but growl. Just because he was a small white puffball did not mean he was Roman's! He made tiny dogs all the time, and not just the three-headed ones! 

"Easy, Pup. Are you with Remus?" Virgil asked and leaned back just a bit. Remus wagged his tail and yipped moving so he could paw at the emo's leg. He wanted food! 

Virgil smirked and scooped him up with one hand, cradling him to his chest. Remus wagged his tail and licked his cheek as he got up. 

"Alright, alright," Virge giggled, "You're as bad as the duke! And just for that–" he turned and grabbed a few pieces of lunch meat from the counter, "–you can have four pieces of turkey instead of three." 

Remus happily ate the food when Virge brought it to his face. His tail was going nuts and he was ready to kiss that emo over and over, in a puppy kind of way. Mostly.

"I'll let you have some more in a bit. I'm not up for cleaning up vomit," Virgil said and picked up his sandwich. He took a bite and carried his new buddy to the common area and sat on the couch. He let go of Remus and turned on the TV. 

"So do you have a name, Pup?" he asked and took another bite of his sandwich. Remus stared up at him and let out a confused whine. Virgil paid it no mind and put the Twilight Zone on. 

"I guess you aren't one of the talking dogs, huh?" Virgil said and mindlessly pet the dog on his lap. Remus practically melted at the touch, no wonder dogs went nuts for pets! 

He lost track of time, floating in the bliss from human contact. He was comfy, curled up against Virgil's tummy, partly covered by the emo's hoodie. Remus didn't even realize he was drifting off to the sound of the show's theme music until it stopped and something cool and delicious bumped his nose. 

"Still hungry?" Virgil asked and bumped the last bit of sandwich against his nose. Remus sniffed it and snatched it, gobbling it up without ceremony. 

"Damn, doesn't the duke feed you?" Virgil huffed and resituated them so he was laying on his side with the doggy duke pressed against his chest. 

Remus could hear his heartbeat, slow and relaxed. He always did like hearing it, being close to Virgil. They were best friends before Virgil left and maybe Remus realized that Virgil meant so much more than that to him. He was just thrilled to be on speaking terms with him again, so this situation was heavenly. 

"I shouldn't doubt him like that. He loves his creations and babies you guys," Virgil sighed and idly stroked his fur. Remus let out a pitiful whine and crawled towards his face.

"Yeah, your buddy Remus is a good guy. He takes care of the things he really loves and he's so upbeat. You're lucky to be one of his, he'll treat you right, even if he's a little eccentric," Virgil yawned and let his eyes fall shut. He was unfairly pretty.

Remus yipped and inched closer, heart hammering in his ears. Virgil wasn't the guy who gave out compliments readily, especially about him. He licked Virgil's nose and cuddled closer. 

"I like you too, Pup. You're a sweet little guy, just like him," he mused and wrapped his arm around the dog, "but at least I can tell you aren't secretly just trying to get in my pants." 

Remus lowered his ears and whined, licking his cheek sadly. He was horny and flirty, sure, but he cared about Virgil! He didn't just want to get at that sweet, sweet ass! He wanted to have quiet moments like this too! 

Virgil lazily pushed him back by the snout and snorted, "Too much, Puppy. It's alright, I just have to get over my feelings before I let him try anything. It's not easy, he's such a great guy—energetic and upbeat, and sure he's unsettling sometimes, but he gets me. He knows how to shock me out of my panicking and he always manages to cheer me up when I'm down. I get all mushy when he smiles at me with this one calm grin he's got and I keep throwing insults because he makes me nervous. It's stupid how much I just want to hold him when he isn't interested in me that way. I'm an idiot for falling for my best friend and rambling about it to a dog I just met." 

Remus blinked up at him cutely, trying to will his eyes open with his mind. He needed Virgil to look at him! He would find a way to get Virgil to see that he wanted that too, that Virge wasn't an idiot—okay maybe he was for falling for the duke, but he was the good kind of idiot! 

Virgil didn't spare him a glance. Instead he scooped up the little dog and rolled onto his back. Remus squirmed in his grasp and managed to escape. 

"He has feelings for me!" Remus thought and stared at that sleepy emo. That snarky witty man was so important to him. He just wanted to kiss him all over and cling to him like a koala. Since he couldn't do that, he settled for giving him a few licks on the cheek and nose before settling down to sleep. He was happily surprised when Virgil leaned up and kissed his nose. 

"Don't tell anyone about that," he mumbled, "Can't let anyone think I went soft." Remus laughed in his head and got cozy. He wouldn't tell a soul not when he was special enough to see this side of Virgil.

----------------

"Well isn't this precious!" 

Remus grunted and blinked away the remnants of sleep. He sent a half-hearted glare at the source of the cooing, and growled. Roman was standing there, more amused by his reaction. 

"You know, when she said she turned you into a dog I had no idea that her curse would be lifted so quickly!" 

"Lifted?" Remus grumbled, and froze. He could speak again! And someone was hugging him! 

"Yes! And now you're snuggling your true love! That would be the only way to break the curse, mind you, and I have never seen something so precious! And I've seen Janus blepping!" the prince practically squealed.

"True love? Who the hell would—?" Remus grumbled and checked to see who he was sleeping on. His face heated up at the sight of one incredibly peaceful emo. That's who the hell would love him. 

"Oh shit that wasn't just a dream!" he yelped, making Virgil hold him tighter. He squirmed and thrashed and escaped, only to fall on the floor with a thud. 

"What the hell?!" Virgil shouted and sat up abruptly. He took in his surroundings and his eyes landed on the happy prince. 

"Where is he?" Virgil snarled. Roman shrugged, despite his shit-eating grin. 

"Who are you looking for?" 

"Don't pull that shit, Roman. The Bichon Frise from Remus' side. Where is he?!" 

"He's on the floor, trying to process the implications of certain circumstances," Roman hummed, "So I'll let you two work things out while I make breakfast." He skipped off while Virge looked at the floor. Remus was on his back, staring at the ceiling in shock. 

"Okay so were you able to tell me you were a dog or did you just want to get too close?" 

"I couldn't talk. It was a curse," Remus said distantly, "A fairytale curse." He looked at Virgil, eyes wide and anticipating the worst. The emo's face twisted in thought and he studied the duke. Remus was flustered and in shock, and it took a lot to shock him. 

Oh.

Oh!

"Don't consider this an invitation to makeout whenever," he huffed and swung his legs around so his feet touched the ground. Remus blinked as Virge hoisted him up and cradled him on his lap.

"True love is weird," Remus mumbled, stunned and thrilled to be in those strong arms.

"So are you, Pup. But are you sure it's that?" 

"I hope so! You gave me your sandwich and cuddled me and you said those things about me! And I kinda have a giant heart boner for you! And a regular one! You have no idea how many horrible horrible things I would go through for you! I miss you so much and it hurts and I just want to be disgustingly sappy with you and then suck your—" 

"You mean it?" Virge asked shyly and looked away. It made Remus incredibly soft. 

"Yeah. Every word, Scare Bear," he said, "I didn't think you would be into me like that. I'm a mess and a menace. I was gonna keep my trap shut but then you told me all that stuff last night!" Virge winced and hid his face in his hands. 

"I won't tell a soul," Remus breathed and hugged his emo, "as long as you don't tell Patton I ate the cookie dough he left in the fridge." 

"That was mine, you ass," Virgil scoffed and hugged him back. 

"And it was as sweet and mouth watering as you!" he giggled, "and I won't tell a soul about that too, in exchange for a smooch!"

Virge snorted and leaned away from the hug. Remus stared at him questioningly and wiggled his mustache at the darker eyeshadow under Virgil's eyes. What did he have to be anxious about? 

And then Virge cupped his cheek and sighed, only to surge forward and kiss Remus with a flood of longing and passion. He had wanted to do that for some time, and Remus mirrored those feelings in full. The duke kissed back, getting lost in his true love. 

 Click

 "Isn't this precious! Patton is going to love having this in his scrapbook!" Roman squealed and put away his phone. Remus and Virgil jolted apart and glared at him. 

"PRINCEY!" 

Roman ran.

[ithinkilikeit-reactions]

Yeosang “Boyfriend Headcanons”

Hongjoong version// Seonghwa Version // Yunho version // Yeosang version // San Version // Mingi version // Wooyoung version // Jongho version //

- my main bias wrecker

- like he’s totally not my usual type

- but I have a huge soft spot for him

- let’s gO

- He’s so shy when it comes to dating

- it’s so wholesome

- very gentle and soft

- Yeosang is just incredibly cautious too

- Okay so first date

- I feel like Yeosang would prefer if you were friends before going out on a date

- like I feel like he would be more the type to fall for someone he knows

- Plus he’d be wayyyy more likely to ask you out if you are already friends

- So I feel like first date would be a little bit awkward

- because well you’ve been friends 

- now you’re out as trying to start a relationship

- so

- it’s a little awkward

- until you guys really get into it and start talking as you would on a day to day basis

- but this is what he wants

- he wants a friend and a partner

- not just a partner

- so you guys would probably get some ice cream or milkshakes

- sit down in the ice cream place and just talk

- Now Yeosang might be awkward and carefull

- but he would definitely want to kiss you

- but he’d ask in the sweetest way

- avoiding eye contact and playing with his fingers 

- he’s so gentle

- his lips are so light against yours that you barely feel them 

- but it’s his hand on your cheek that holds more weight

- just so carefull and sweet 

- afterwards he would have a hard time not smiling 

- so much so that the members would be concerned lmao

- He probably wouldn’t tell the members you were dating right away 

- But they’d probably know about it because you started coming over a lot more

- they all love you because they know you make yeosang very happy

- speaking of happy yeosang

- praise him 

- dear god praise him 

- he needs to hear it

- give him all the compliments

- he needs more positivity and hearing it from you makes him almost want to cry sometimes

- he values your compliments so much it makes him emotional

- sit him down

- pet his hair

- trace over his birthmarks

- tell him he’s doing a good job 

- tell him he’s beautiful

- this is how you cuddle too

- his head on your chest as you pet his hair

- talking

- these are the moments you get to the deep stuff when talking

- like Yeosang doesn’t open up all too much 

- when he’s kind of tired and in the mood too you kinda ease him into talking about stuff

- Because he doesn’t like opening up much, you pushing him will spark arguments

- he doesn’t like feeling pressure like that

- so give him time to open up to you more

- it’ll take a little work 

- but Yeosang is worth it

- When Yeosang is mad 

- he can get kinda bitchy if he’s upset with you

- I say bitchy because he can be so passive agressive it’s crazy 

- but he always feels bad afterwards

- If he’s the one in the wrong

- he apologizes and gets emotional when he does

- he’s always scared of losing you for some reason

- so when he apologizes he’s practically in tears

- it’s really hard to watch actually

- Now when you’re in the wrong and need to apologize

- you’re already forgiven

- he has a hard time staying mad

- but you don’t need to know that

- not until you apologize

- then it’s a total mood switch

- When he’s just sad or upset

- his favorite place is your chest

- It’s not that noticeable when he’s upset 

- which makes it hard to gage how to act around him sometimes

- but you can tell

- after a while of being with him 

- you can pick up on the cues

- the door slams a little harder than usual

- he showers a little longer than usual

- he’s more quiet

- but for comfort

- loves it when you play with his hair which i mentioned already

- but he just really really loves it

- especially when his hair is longer

- he just loves feeling your fingers threading through his hair

- When you’re upset

- Yeosang will do literally anything to cheer you up

- if you are missing someone

- he’ll set up a video call with that person if he can 

- sometimes you think he doesn’t listen to what you say 

- or at least doesn’t remember these things

- but he does

- when you’re upset he really shows that

- “You mentioned that you really liked the cupcakes from that store. So I brought you some.” 

- stuff along those lines

- Yeosang has an odd sense of humor

- we all know the ponytail song

- You need to have a similar sense humor

- like I feel like Yeosang is the type to text you in the middle of the night with odd life questions

- they make you laugh but they also make you think

- he’ll send you weird funny videos 

- he’s the type to Jenna Marbles scream/cry laugh at funny tiktoks

- i’m just convinced he’s like that

- he can laugh at the same video over and over

- it’s amusing to watch

- He also likes taking you out skating

- Yeosang would love to teach you how to skate if you don’t know how

- he’d think it’s really fun and hope you’d get your own

- so you can go skating together 

- he’d probably have a pic of you on his skateboard as his wallpaper just saying

- he’d also love to teach you how to fly drones

- it’s a huge hobby of his 

- he’d love to be able to enjoy these things together with you 

- he also likes it when you wear his beanies 

- he thinks you look super cute in them 

- just loves it so much 

- okay so dating Yeosang

- You gain a Wooyoung

- Wooyoung is your best friend now

- you don’t have a choice lmao

- no but you love it

- because Wooyoung has known Yeosang so long

- Wooyoung can help give you insight sometimes

- it’s just nice

- Though Yeosang wants to punch him sometimes when he teases too much 

- you’re always there to laugh about it

- which in turn makes Yeosang laugh about it

- He gets kinda jealous 

- he doesn’t hide it very well

- doesn’t get jealous of his members being near you 

- but other guys 

- he doesn’t like it

- but he doesn’t get mad at you for it

- he trusts you 

-it’s Yeosang’s own insecurities that make him think this way

- he knows that 

- So he holds it back 

- but does vent to you while you’re running your fingers through his hair

- Adult-y stuff no kids allowed 😤😤

- okay so a lot of people call Yeosang a sub 

- i disagree

- he’s no dom either

- he’s a switch 

- like most of Ateez  (in my opinion)

- very shy the first few times you have sex

- well shy?

- nervous and careful

- he’s so gentle and sweet though

- feather light touches and kisses over your body

- along with sweet praise

- however he can tease

- waits with giving you what you want

- wants to hear you beg for it just a little

- but you tend to do the same with him

- you like to hear him beg too

- you like teasing him with light touches and kisses

- only to compliment him with praise

- he really likes it when you mark him 

- especially on his neck 

- he gets goosebumps when your lips touch his adams apple

- it makes him stutter

- moan

- it’s all very equal in the bedroom when it comes to dominance

- he likes using his hands a great deal too

- because he knows you find them attractive

- He has a slight thing for watching you 

- watch you touching yourself

- he finds it so beautiful 

- pair that with some nice red lingerie 

- he has the mental image of a life time

- He likes the visuals of it all

- the mental images are everything to him 

- great at giving oral 

- kind of awkward when receiving

- doesn’t really know what to do with himself

- give him a bit to get used to it

- once he’s more comfortable 

- he’d be interested in some things like 

- tying eachother up and such 

- but that’s the extent of what he’s into

- he’s just so sweet when it come to sex really 

-Aftercare

- quiet

- very quiet after sex 

- not awkward silence

- just a peacefull silence

- your fingers drawing over the veins in his arms 

- tracing his birthmarks

- all as he holds you

- trying to hold back his smile

- he’s very thoughtfull in this moment

- he just loves you 

- doesn’t want to ruin that feeling by stumbling over his words

- so he stays quiet

- kissing your forehead gently

- like every few seconds actually

- Yeosang feels like there are no words good enough

- so you whisper soft praises

- making him hold you close

- and hide his face in your neck

- because he can’t stop smiling 

- that’s the aftercare

- the quiet moment after sex where you make sure your both okay

- emotionally and physically

- A relationship with Yeosang requires a lot of understanding

- a lot of give and take

- but it’s worth it

A/N: I got lost in this one. idk why but I’m so emo when it comes to Yeosang so if this is so sappy i apologize

[lemonietrinket]

How Day6 would react to overhearing you admit your crush on him to one of the other members

AN: a request from anon. i feel ive treated this more seriously (and focused perhaps more on the confessions themselves, bc i interpreted ‘crush’ subconsciously as ‘having long-term-feelings for’) than you meant in your request but i hope you enjoy it nonetheless!

Sungjin

“hyuuun, i’m in love please make it stop.” “only way that’s going to happen is if you go tell him.” “...i hate you.”

sungjin... i picture is going to date to marry (or an equivalent if marriage is not for you, as though i get the vibe he’s quite traditional, for the right person he would be very easily convinced), so he takes crushes and confessions quite seriously

probably would feel bad for eavesdropping

then would feel happy that you felt the same way

but then more serious issue of now having to confess would take over

would spend a long time thinking of the best way to do it

would probably settle on a classic walk or cinema/theatre depending on what’s showing

would make damn sure he and you would be alone while confessing—so to save both parties from pressure and embarrassment should things go wrong 

also he’s quite a private guy and would want to let others know on his own and your terms

ngl probably wouldn’t admit he’d overheard you until like... a long time later

it would be under the initial reasoning that he would wait until you were stable so it wouldn’t have too big of an effect

but then he would forget

until it randomly came up in conversation 

like we may even be talking years here

maybe when you live in your own place, just the two of you, and you’re hanging out with him and younghyun who is just refusing to go home bc the food is too good at yours who brings it up 

“i don’t understand how it took so long for you two to get together, like even wonpil was starting to find yn’s pining sickening.”

and you would be salty, because “excuse me i hid my desperation very well!”

and sungjin would just immediately come to support you because he’s a loyal motherfucker and would begin, without thinking “she did, i didn’t know until i—”

that would be when he stops himself bc hes like oh shit i didn’t tell her and now two very curious sets of eyes are like staring at him and he’s 98% sure he can’t backtrack at all 

“when you what?”

and he would just sigh “when i overheard you telling younghyun that you liked me”

and there’d be a moment of silence, followed by laughter 

youngk would be confused, probably, having a surprisingly better recollection that you perhaps would “wait i remember that—how did it take you two months to work out what to do next?!”

and you end up just laughing harder, before noticing the the mix of emotions on sungjins face and reassure him “it doesn’t matter how long it took, we’re together now”

anyway overall sungjin is probably quite serious about it, but it will have a happy ending, you’ve just got to be patient lmao 

Jae

“dowoon, what do i do?” 

jae would be playful about it

after hearing you ask dowoon for advice since hes good friends with him he would be ecstatic, but would try and keep it lowkey

he’d hide out of sight of the doorway he’d passed by to have his little moment

and then he wouldn’t be able to stop smiling

his eyes would keep glancing to you for the rest of the day, even more than usual

but i think he would want to make things more official as soon as possible, as he doesn’t want to waste any time when he could do it sooner and be with you

and so he’d ask if you had a spare moment on the day or so, and take you some place quiet

not necessarily his room, more likely just outside the front door in the warm summer air

and ngl i think he would totally pull the “i think you know why i summoned you here today”

of course, yall have no idea, but you’re used to his occasional crackheadery—otherwise why would you crush on him so hard? “not a bit, but if its a trip to get snacks you don’t even have to ask, i’m in”

“well, that is a plan for later... depending on how this goes”

that’s the point where you would get confused and begin to wonder if something is up, but hel’l continue “i found out something really cool today yn.”

“really? was it the pin to brian’s credit card?”

he would laugh but shake his head, “nah even better” and that would give you the heads up that this was serious, and it would occur to you that he might have overheard something

but it becomes obvious when he follows with “a little bird... told me that someone, likes someone else, in our group. our friendship group.”

you briefly consider panicking, as the whole thing could still be construed as him not liking you back, but you put on a brave face and push through, “oh really? who?”

“that’s the problem, i don’t know, but i was wondering if you did.”

the chance was clear for anyone to see, and seeing the glimmer of hope, you seize it “well, i know someone who likes you... but i’m not sure if its mutual, so that might be why they haven’t said”

“if it’s who i think it is, then it definitely is... mutual” he would admit

and that would be the closest the two of you ever got to literally word-for-word confessing, because out of nerves neither of you would probably be able to admit it at the crux of the moment

however, like in all the movies idc if its cliche you would gravitate towards each other, and that would be the moment where you both recognised your feelings as well as shared your first kiss together

ok i’m going to stop before i combust 

anyway as for whether he’d admit he’d overheard you, he would probably be quite quick to the chase on that one too, probably right after the kiss and you’ve spoken about it a bit more, he’ll probably just say “i kind of accidentally overheard you telling dowoon, please don’t be mad at me”

but how could you be, you’d gotten what you wanted after all

in conclusion, jae is lighthearted about it and woudn’t waste any time

Younghyun

“wonpil did i tell you how much i love his eyes?” “hmmm... perhaps... but tell me again, to just to make sure.”

god bless wonpil his emotional support would be A+

right off the bat our youngk is a songwriter

he probably finds a lot of inspiration out of love

and so his feelings for you coalesce to create love songs that he may or may not use in the future

anyhow, it means that to cope with his feelings he’s probably half composed something small where he admits them 

with little intention of you probably ever hearing it at all

or at least, not without big chunks edited and names changed/cut

but when he overhears you rambling to wonpil who doesn’t mind the sappiness a characteristic you probably got off our brian anyway with his occasional borderline emo-ness

he’s grateful to his past-self for starting it, and realises that maybe its time to finish it

so it’ll take a week or so for him to finally confess

bc even though hes a bit of a flirt, i don’t see him wanting to tarnish love, since he owes it so much and its not fun to play with someone’s heart, especially not yours

so it might take him a little longer, and when he gets round to it, it’ll be perfect, just like you in his eyes

so prepare to be serenaded

yes, that sort of serenaded

in dim evening light, with the sun’s glow beginning to fade and make way for the stars, flickering like the candles laid out for you

again, that classical vibe won’t be missed on him

as for whether he’d tell you, probably only if you asked, but he would add that he’d been writing the song beforehand

he just may not admit to not planning on ever performing it

overall? when it comes to romantic flair, kang younghyun is king 

Wonpil

“sungjin, uh, do you know where wonpil is? i can’t—” “isn’t he at your hip?” “as much as i kind of wish he was, he kind of isn’t.”

wonpil, my lovely sweetheart

probably wouldn’t be able to stop himself from just

walking straight in when he accidentally overhears you to ask right there and then

like, you’re probably pestering talking to sungjin in the kitchen or another equally frequented place, so it was likely that someone was going to overhear anyway 

and maybe that was part of sungjins plan dont put it past him

but also it meant wonpil got further into the room the hunt for sustenance spurring him on, you know how it is before he caught onto what was being said, thus making it harder to back out

thus sungjin knew he’d overheard, but you with your back to the door were still clueless

and would’ve stayed that way had wonpil not continued and straight up asked or sungjin not said anything, which lets face it by this point he was really considering doing

he would be really excited about hearing that the feelings were mutual, and you were right there so what harm was really being done if he did just straight up waltz in?

as soon as you heard his small “you like me too?” you would whip around 

aaand that would be sungjin’s cue to leave

“do you mean that?”

“it only feels right when you’re by my side, pillie.”

the words you would exchange would be in a soft flurry of emotion tbh, out of disbelief but excitement for the future

most likely ending with you embracing, foreheads resting against one another’s

fluff hours only in the house of pil, ok?

Dowoon

“jae, do you think dowoon will be free tomorrow?” “yea why?” “i want to take him to the cat cafe—” “oh my god is it happening?! is it really happening? are you finally going to tell him? plan ILU is underway?” “keep it down!” “oh god everybody stay calm, stay fucking calm—!”

my bean

my lovely bean

would feel guilty over accidentally eavesdropping, and this would reflect in his shyness later

however, he decides to run with the silver lining of having the chance to be prepared for tomorrow

and so he would not say a word and try and act natural

especially when you ask him if he wants to go out somewhere with you the next day

he’s not sure how he did, he tried to hide his ears as best he could but he was also well aware you knew him too well

when the next morning rolls around, he’s up early, getting ready in nice clothes that he hopes aren’t suspiciously too nice

and then he waits, trying to calm is nerves, before realising that maybe ignorance is bliss

when the time comes and you make your way to the cafe, he finds it difficult to act surprised, but also to try and keep his breath steady

finally, near the end, after asking if he had a good time and wanted to come back, you confess you liked him and it’s as if a weight lifts off his shoulders

he would kiss your cheek soon after, without much warning, out of relief and joy and nerves and a whole lot of else

and you’d probably pull him in for a proper kiss by his collar as soon as you’re sure he’s ok with it

and then the fact he eavesdropped would be a secret that he would die with

~~~

Masterlist

[izzyfandoms]

Remile - Pumpkin

(This is one of 36 Halloween-themed ficlets I'm posting today! One for every sides/Remy/Emile/Thomas ship plus creativitwins!)

GENERAL TAGLIST: @quillfics42 @aj-draws @phantomofthesanderssides @phlying-squirrel @sly-is-my-name-loving-is-my-game @because-were-fam-ily @imtryingthisout @a-creepycookie @emo-disaster @littlestr @spooky-scary-virgil @fuyel @mimsidoodles @soupgremlin @aroaceagenderfluid @birdsbookshiddeninrealbirdsskin @quirkalurk @gingers-trashy-stuff @iinyxtello @justaqueercactus @melodiread @mrbubbajones @spookedferns @pun-master-logan @gayturtlez @k1ngtok1

Masterpost

"Emi, I'm home!" Remy called out, kicking his shoes off and struggling not to drop the two pumpkins that were tucked under each arm.

Emile emerged from the living room only moments after Remy called out to him.

He immediately reached out, carefully taking the bigger of the two into his own arms. He balanced it carefully, and then smiled at his boyfriend, leaning in and pecking him on the cheek.

The corner of Remy's lip quirked up into a slight smile. Seeing that expression on Remy's face never failed to make Emile feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

"These are good pumpkins," Emile said, lifting the one in his arms.

"Thanks, I'm a great pumpkin-picker."

"You're great at everything!"

Remy laughed. "Ha! I guess I am. I'm pretty amazing, huh?"

Emile giggled, too. "The amazing-est."

"Is that a word?"

"Probably not. But I think words are whatever we want them to be. So, I should be able to make up new words to describe my gorgeous boyfriend if I darn well want to."

"Aww, baby," Remy gave Emile a soft, sappy smile that made Emile feel oh-so desperate to kiss him until they ran out of breath. "You're the sweetest guy in the whole damn world, huh? Gorgeous and adorable, too. Being that perfect has gotta be a crime, babe."

"Or... I'm hiding something," Emile teased with a grin. "Surely I have some kind of secret flaw that needs revealing."

Remy snorted. "Oh, of course. What is it, huh? Are you secretly a vampire out to suck my blood? Or, like, are you gonna turn into a werewolf next full moon?"

Emile full-on laughed. It was contagious, and prompted Remy to start laughing, too, only stopping to yelp when he almost dropped his pumpkin.

"Oop, that would've been a disaster."

"Mm, just a little bit," Emile agreed, watching carefully as Remy balanced the pumpkin in his arms. "Do you wanna carve them now, or after dinner?"

"After dinner," Remy decided. "The pumpkin goop is gross, so I don't wanna deal with that 'til after I eat."

Emile hummed. "You don't have to carve the pumpkins if you don't wanna," he said. "I can handle it!"

"And miss the look on your face while we're doing it? Nah, babe, that's adorable, I can't miss that."

"Aww, honey."

Remy grinned. "And pumpkin-carving is perfect instagram material."

"Ah, there it is."

[clumsyclifford]

kiss in the kitchen like it’s a dance floor

Calum hums. "I could stay with you."

Again Michael's heart gives a lurch. "Really?"

"Yeah, why not?"

HELLO!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY @jbhmalum​ this is for you i got cute in the ao3 notes and im worried about repeating myself but anyway i really just love and treasure you je t’adore i really wish i could compliment you better in french but i simply do not have the words so suffice it to say that i am so so happy to know you i love reading your fics you are so unbelievably talented not to mention just mad cute and just overall an absolute delight i hope your birthday is super amazing and yeah i love you lots

so here’s a really fluffy domestic malum quarantine getting together fic per the birthday girl’s request i know you’re all thinking fluff???? from bella??? but joke’s on you because i wrote this several weeks ago don’t worry i am still emo inside

title from sunflower vol. 6 by harry styles <3 king shit

read it here on ao3

At risk of sounding overdramatic, Michael is going to die unless he sees Calum in the next week. Possibly less. He's experiencing severe Calum withdrawal, and it shows. Sleeping alone sucks more than Michael can put into words. There's no warm, steady weight against his back anymore, just the flimsy brush of his own duvet. He tucks it as tightly around himself as possible, but it's just not the same as Calum's embrace. 

"I miss you," he whines over FaceTime one evening. 

"You better," Calum replies. Then, immediately, "Sorry, I mean, I miss you too, obviously."

"You're on thin ice here," Michael grumbles. 

"You already know I miss you," Calum tells him.

"I hate being in quarantine. This sucks so bad, Cal."

Calum nods, sighs. "You know…I've been in, like, proper quarantine for two weeks. More than that. Haven't seen anyone or done anything."

Michael makes a face. "Really? No one? Nothing?"

"Yeah, but I mean." Calum tilts his head on the screen. "I could probably come to yours."

For a moment Michael's heart leaps into his throat, and then, just as quickly, it plummets. "You can't," he says. "The travel, and plus then you'd be going back, and I'm pretty sure I've been in some suspicious places recently. I mean I'm being careful, but you know. I don't want you to get it or bring it back with you."

Calum hums. "I could stay with you."

Again Michael's heart gives a lurch. "Really?"

"Yeah, why not?"

"That'd be so amazing," Michael breathes. "Beyond awesome. Oh my God. Can — would you? Seriously?"

"Are you kidding me?" Calum gives Michael a look, like, do you even know me?  "Michael. Like, I don't want to overstate things here, but I miss you more than I think I've ever missed anyone, excepting possibly Duke."

"Not as much as I miss you," Michael returns. "I've never missed anyone more. At all. Dogs included." Instantly that feels wrong. "Okay. That's a lie. But —"

"Ha!" Calum crows. "I miss you more. Get destroyed, Cliffo."

"You know what," Michael says petulantly, "maybe you shouldn't come visit."

"Funny," Calum says. "I'll sort my shit out here and then I can probably leave in a few days, is that alright?"

It's more than alright. It's actually the most brilliant thing Michael's ever heard. The prospect of seeing Calum lifts his mood way up into the stratosphere, and he grins, bubbly.

"Yeah, yeah, perfect," he says. "Can't wait."

The look on Calum's face says he can't wait, either.

-

It's been too many weeks to count since Michael's been hugged, but the moment Calum is in his arms, the time melts away. "Oh my God, I missed you so fucking much," he murmurs into Calum's shoulder. Calum chuckles.

"Yeah," he says, all fond. "Missed you too, Mikey."

"Let's never stop hugging," Michael suggests. "Ever."

Calum pats his back. "I think life would get pretty difficult pretty quickly."

"I don't really see how."

"The bathroom, for starters."

"We'd figure it out. I've seen you naked."

"That's not. Really." Calum laughs. "Fuck. I really missed you. Come on. Invite me in."

"No," Michael says, as Calum pulls reluctantly out of his hold. Calum frowns. "You might have corona."

"Oh, fuck off."

Laughing loudly, Michael leads Calum in. Immediately, Southy and Moose are at his heels, yapping excitedly. Calum kneels, grinning. "Hey, guys! Miss me much?"

"They can just smell Duke on you," Michael says in mock-contempt. It's generally accepted that Moose and Southy favor Calum over, well, basically anyone, but Michael refuses to cave. They're his fucking dogs.

"Oh, fuck," Calum remembers, straightening up, to Moose's displeasure. "Duke."

"Go get him," Michael says. "I'll put your shit in your room."

Calum smiles at Michael, the big, bright one, eyes crinkling in the corners so they almost disappear. Michael thinks if he had to pick one thing to wax poetic about forever, it would be this smile, and how it makes him feel gooey and melty inside whenever Calum turns it on him.

"What?" Michael finally demands, when Calum doesn't say anything.

Calum shakes his head. "Does it have to be something, man? I'm just fuckin' happy."

Michael breathes out, feeling lighter than he has in ages. "Me too."

And with that, Calum turns and goes to get Duke from the car. Michael carries Calum's stuff to Calum's room, which is actually a guest room that's been broken in by Calum enough times that they started calling it his. Not that he stays there that often. Borne of habit from both childhood and hotel rooms, Michael and Calum always elect to share the bed. This, among millions of things, has made Michael's life hard in quarantine. Sleeping alone sucks.

Michael gives the room a once-over as he deposits Calum's bags down. It has minimal decorations but the few that are here are very much Calum. A photograph of the sunset off the beach near their childhood homes hangs above the dresser, and there's a comically large poster of Alex Gaskarth above the bed, which, Michael is somewhat sure, had been the result of a lost bet. 

Arms wrap around his middle. "Hey."

"You get Duke set up?" Michael asks, resting his hands against Calum's and tilting his head back.

"On a trial basis, yeah. He's gotten really territorial about his food, though, so if either of your kids tries anything…"

"My kids?"

"Your dogs," Calum says dismissively. "I'm just saying, Duke could kick their asses."

"Um, excuse me?" Michael twists around, prying himself out of Calum's grip. "First of all, it would be two on one, and there's no way your weak-ass mutt could —"

"Weak-ass mutt?"

" — also, Southy can and will scratch, and I know for a fact Moose has never read the Geneva Convention."

"Yeah, but they like me more," Calum says cheekily. Michael makes an offended face, and Calum swoops in and kisses his cheek.

"Hey, don't try that shit. They do not like you more."

“Okay,” Calum says, in a very unconvincing voice. “So. What’s for dinner?”

“Nothing for you if you keep this up,” Michael grumbles, scowling.

Calum chuckles. “I can look through your pantry and make something?”

“I just said I’m not feeding you.”

“Right, that’s why I’m going to be feeding you. ”

Michael huffs. “Don’t cook, we can order something.”

“No, I’m gonna cook. I’ve missed cooking for you.”

“Really? For me? ”

“Yes,” Calum says, looking strangely at Michael. “For you. I’ve missed spending time with you. Doing things for you. Why do you think I sent you the care package?”

“Because you love me?”

“Yeah,” Calum says, which is a little unfair, because Michael had been teasing and had expected Calum to tease in return. But Calum just looks matter-of-fact. “Exactly. So let me cook for you.”

Michael squirms, torn between the desire to make another joke or to let Calum’s love settle over his shoulders like a second skin. “Okay,” he concedes. “I’ll be supervising so I know you won’t poison me, though.”

Calum’s eyes crinkle with his smile. “Oh, no. Hanging out with me in the kitchen while I cook? I can’t think of anything worse.”

“Stop being so fucking sappy,” Michael whines. “You’re making me feel bad for being bitchy.”

“No, by all means,” Calum says airily. “Keep mocking me, your best friend, while I remind you over and over again how much I’ve missed you. I don’t mind at all.”

“You’re a shit,” Michael says, swatting at Calum’s shoulder. “Go make me dinner, peasant.”

“Bossy.”

“You asked to make dinner!”

Calum laughs, and turns to go start dinner. Michael trails after, because whatever he says, however he mocks Calum, he’s missed him far too much to let him out of Michael’s sight for too long. 

(And also, Michael likes to try and distract Calum while he cooks. It’s in his top five favorite sports.)

-

Having Calum here feels so natural it makes Michael wonder if they’d ever actually spent any time apart or if it had been a hallucination. They fall back into routine so easily, routine established from every part of their lives spent together; traditions created back in school, behaviors formed and reinforced through years of sharing hotel rooms, habits only known to the other. Calum slots back into the Calum-shaped gap he’d left when quarantine started, and it’s as if he’d never been gone. 

Michael likes the bubble they’re existing in now, where they speak to no one but each other, go nowhere but the store to replenish depleted groceries, and pretend that time isn’t passing in the outside world. They make a dent in their long list of movies to watch together, and occasionally make fun of. Calum runs in the morning while Michael sleeps, and every morning wakes him for breakfast while Michael bitches. They walk their dogs together. 

(Michael gapes when Calum lets Duke off his leash.

“Since fucking when?” he accuses.

“He’s a grown dog,” Calum says sarcastically, rolling his eyes. “Michael, he’s like a foot long with attachment issues. He won’t go anywhere.”

Michael stares reproachfully at Moose and South. They stare innocently back. Calum chuckles and pats Michael on the back. “You can let ‘em off as long as I’m here. You know they won’t run away from me.”

“Fuck you,” Michael retorts, looping the leash once more around his wrist. Dream on, he thinks, eyeing his dogs.)

And it’s easy, for a week or two, to think that this is just how people are, or if not, that this is just how they are, how Michael and Calum exist in the world. They’ve been best friends since forever, and there’s no one else in Michael’s life who fills the shoes that Calum does — and why should there be, when he has Calum? It’s not like Michael’s ever needed anyone else, or anything else. Homeless or starving or broke or on a deserted island or stranded in outer space or drowning in an ocean or on death row, Michael’s only wish would be Calum.

Of course it would, though. Calum is everything. Michael’s known that for ages.

They don’t even start under the pretense that Calum will be staying in “his” room; from his very first night at Michael’s he doesn’t even open that door, just follows after Michael when Michael declares he’s going to retire for the night and slips under the blanket with him, wordlessly, a silent agreement that there’s no reason to torture themselves sleeping alone when they don’t need to. This quarantine has given them both a new perspective on solitude; namely, avoid at all costs. So Michael snuggles up to Calum, content even to be the little spoon if it means Calum’s the one whose front is all lined up with Michael’s back, whose arm is slung tightly over Michael’s middle, an unspoken promise that Michael’s not getting away from Calum if Calum has any say. It’s comforting to be held, but not necessary; Michael wouldn’t leave Calum’s arms if the house were on fire.

(Okay, maybe if the house were on fire. But he’d definitely wake Calum for that.)

They do the bare minimum promoting CALM — mostly Michael likes leaving that stuff to Luke anyway, who, as lead singer, gets the bulk of the attention for it. Sometimes Michael decides to be resentful about that, but now it’s nice to know that the world doesn’t expect much from him, from either of them. They FaceTime with Luke and Ashton, who express openly and loudly how envious they are of Calum and Michael spending time together. The world spins on, with Michael purposefully ignoring it. Life is wonderful.

“Right, what’s next on the list?” Calum asks, handing Michael a glass of water and collapsing onto the couch. He kicks his legs up and stretches them across Michael’s lap. Michael gives him a look, and Calum just gives Michael a cheeky grin as he takes a sip of his own water.

“The Umbrella Academy, ” Michael says.

“Isn’t that a show?”

“Yeah, well, it’s next on the list.”

Calum frowns. “Why haven’t we got a separate list for TV shows?”

Michael rolls his eyes. “Because we’re idiots? Or because we probably never anticipated having this much time to actually get through the list. Do you want to watch it or not?”

“Oh, definitely,” Calum says. “Isn’t that, fuckin’…Mikey Way’s, or something? One of the MCR guys?”

“Gerard. Yeah.”

“Dope,” Calum says. Michael reaches for the remote while Calum pulls his legs off of Michael, shuffling around on the couch until his head is on Michael’s lap, legs thrown up over the armrest. Michael settles his free hand onto Calum’s crown, running his fingers along the short hair over his scalp. It’s not that he prefers Calum with more hair — generally speaking, Michael’s favorite version of Calum is always whichever one exists at the moment — but he does miss having more hair to play with. He suspects Calum misses that, too. Calum always liked Michael playing with his hair.

“You might have trouble drinking if you’re laying down like this,” Michael observes wryly, although he hopes Calum doesn’t sit up. It may be stupidly domestic, to be like this with Calum, but that’s always been them, and Michael likes it that way. Prefers it. Friends are stupidly domestic sometimes. Aren’t they?

“Whatever,” Calum says, setting his glass blindly onto the floor in front of the couch. “Don’t, like, kick to the right, and we’ll be fine.”

Michael shakes his head fondly and hits play on the first episode of the show. It’s a good show, and for the first episode he and Calum are both equally taken by it. When it ends, Duke shuffles into the room in search of company, and Calum pats the couch to invite him up. “My son,” he whispers as Duke precariously attempts to climb the couch. “Come here, my son. I can lift you up. I can show you what you want to see and take you where you want to be.”

“Are you,” Michael says, briefly distracted from starting the next episode. “Are you singing Capital Cities to Duke?”

“Shut up,” Calum says, making grabby hands towards Duke until Duke gets the message and comes close enough for Calum to grab. “You’re just jealous ‘cause neither of your dogs want to hang out with you.”

“Because they’re normal dogs who sleep at this hour.” Duke settles himself onto Calum’s chest, collapsing with an adorable whoomph, nose brushing up against Calum’s chin. It’s too cute for words, the pair of them. Michael feels his heart clench inexplicably, and looks away.

“Jealous,” Calum sing-songs. “Go on, start the episode, what’re you waiting for?”

“I don’t think you’ll be able to watch with Duke sitting on top of you.”

Calum makes a dismissive noise. “I’ll be fine.”

And he is fine, right up until he falls asleep about fifteen minutes in. Michael notices straightaway, and wonders when exactly he got so attuned to Calum that he can tell in an instant if he’s awake or asleep. Sure enough, glancing down, Calum is exhaling gently, steadily enough that he’s obviously dropped off. Duke is dozing on Calum’s chest. Once again, Michael’s heart does that squeezing thing that leaves Michael vaguely confused. It’s just Calum. It’s always just Calum; what’s happening now that never used to happen before?

For a moment, Michael entertains the idea of just sitting here forever. It’s a tempting option. Michael’s hand has stalled in Calum’s hair but it still rests there, fingertips grazing the nape of his neck, and Calum’s chest is rising and falling rhythmically, raising and lowering Duke with it. The scene is endearing, charming beyond explanation, the kind of thing that makes Michael wish you could frame moving pictures like they do in Harry Potter, just to watch this moment for the rest of his life. He’d put it up in his bedroom, and look at it whenever he was in need of some sense of peace. 

If Calum is asleep, though, it must mean he’s tired, and they should probably go to bed if that’s the case. Michael gives himself another long moment to just watch his best friend sleep, face restful and all creases smoothed. He clicks off the TV.

“Cal,” he whispers.

There’s no response.

“Calum,” Michael repeats softly, scratching his fingernails over Calum’s scalp. “Calum, babe.”

Calum hums and his eyes open groggily. He lifts an arm to rub a hand over his face, and Duke jerks awake. “Hmm,” Calum manages, staring up into Michael’s face with a vaguely blank look. “Oh. Fuck. Sorry.”

“No, it’s fine,” Michael says. “Bedtime, though. I’m kind of tired anyway.”

Calum grabs Duke in his hands and then, with an almighty groan, heaves himself into a sitting position, gently lowering Duke to the ground. Duke leaves the room, possibly to go and harass Moose and South into letting him sleep with them. Michael sees a lot of Calum in Duke.

For a second Calum just sits, elbows braced against his knees, face in his hands. Michael furrows his brow. “You feeling okay?”

Calum breathes out. “Yeah, yeah. Just — more tired than usual, I guess.”

“Sleep in tomorrow,” Michael offers. “Lazy day. I love lazy days.”

“Mike, all your days are lazy days.”

“Fuck you, firstly, and secondly, none of my days are lazy days with you.” Michael pokes at Calum’s shoulder. “Which is obviously completely different, because it means we can cuddle all day, or do whatever. And get takeout! Come on, Cal, lazy day, lazy day, pajama day, lazy day —”

“Okay, okay,” Calum relents. “Yes, fine. Fine.” Michael grins and wraps Calum in a hug from the side, and Calum shakes his head, although Michael knows him well enough to know it’s fond exasperation at worst.

“Lazy day,” Michael sings lightly. Calum huffs a laugh. “Let’s go to bed.”

They go, and Michael’s heart does that squeezing-clenching thing again when Calum burrows into Michael’s chest once they’ve gotten under the duvet. He seems to be tipsy off tiredness, but it’s not anything Michael hasn’t seen before, and he doesn’t know why he’s reacting differently all of a sudden.

Must be the tiredness getting to me too, he thinks dismissively, pretending not to think about the fact that he’s no more tired than usual and he’s been tired before, without weird thoughts about Calum cramming their way into his mind. Best to sleep it off.

(Part of him doesn’t want to sleep it off, though. It’s a lovely fantasy, thinking he and Calum might be something more — not that he wants that, necessarily, but if he were going to want it, he doesn’t think it would be so bad. In the safety of his own mind, in fleeting thoughts, it’s nice to think about. Calum’s Calum, after all. It makes sense that eventually even Michael would start to think things. Just as long as he knows they’re all far-fetched things that are far too delusional to ever be anything but silly, sleepy, inexplicable ideas.)

“G’night,” Calum murmurs, sending a buzz from his words across Michael’s skin. Michael shivers, and hopes Calum doesn’t pick up on it.

“Sleep well,” Michael says quietly, lips brushing Calum’s hair. “And if you get up before ten, I’ll spread rumours about you on Twitter.”

Calum barely breathes out a giggle before he sighs and falls asleep. Michael doesn’t see the point in being awake without Calum, and without ceremony falls asleep as well, warm from Calum’s body lined up against his own.

-

Despite Michael’s threat, he still wakes up to an empty bed, covers thrown back where Calum must have gotten out. Of course he has. Michael starts brainstorming vaguely irritating rumour ideas to put on Twitter.

It’s eleven, though, which means that technically Calum could have woken up after ten but before Michael. Either way, Michael’s waking up alone again, and that’s annoying.

He shuffles out of bed, pulling on Calum’s Youngblood hoodie as he pads into the kitchen, where, predictably, Calum is making breakfast. Michael wraps his arms around Calum’s waist and hooks his chin over Calum’s shoulder. Calum jerks at the touch before apparently realizing who it is, and settling backwards into it.

“Good morning, sleeping beauty,” Calum greets him, turning his head to give Michael a kiss on his temple. It strikes Michael as a strangely romantic thing to do, which isn’t a thought he needs to be having. “I promise I wasn’t up before ten.”

“Hmph,” Michael grumbles, which is morning-Michael-speak for come back to bed, but Calum either doesn’t understand or chooses to ignore it. Eyeing the griddle on the stove, he adds, “Pancakes?” 

Calum nods. “See, when you wake up early, this is the kind of thing you have time for.”

“Worst lazy day partner ever,” Michael sniffs. “I want to cuddle.”

“What if we eat breakfast and then cuddle?”

“What if you come back to bed and then we eat pancakes when we wake up?”

Calum chuckles. “I don’t know how you’re tired right now. It’s eleven.”

“I don’t know how you’re not,” Michael says, horrified. “It’s eleven.”

Calum just laughs. “I love you,” he says, apropos of nothing, and Michael’s heart does a triple backflip.

“I know,” he says. “If this is a ploy to get me to forgive you for getting me out of bed at eleven in the morning, it’s not working.”

“It’s not a ploy,” Calum says. “But it is working.”

It is working. Just for saying that, though, Michael stubbornly wishes it weren’t, but it’s too late; Calum’s already softened his defenses, thawed his prickly morning mood. “Fuck you,” he mumbles. Calum makes another half-laugh noise and even though Michael’s not looking at his face, he can tell — he can almost feel — the way Calum’s eyes crinkle with his smile. 

“You can grab the syrup from the fridge,” he tells Michael. Michael hugs Calum tighter and buries his face in Calum’s neck.

“No,” he says, voice muffled in Calum’s skin. “Shut up.”

“You can’t cuddle me while I’m making pancakes, Mikey.”

“Fucking watch me.”

“Mike.”

“Shh, napping,” Michael mumbles, closing his eyes. He can feel Calum’s racing heartbeat pulsing in his neck, against Michael’s cheek, and distantly wonders why it’s racing. Calum relents, thankfully, and for a moment they just stand there, in the peaceful quiet of the kitchen, Michael’s hands loosely curled into Calum’s shirt. They fit so well it’s almost criminal. “This is perfect,” he sighs, breath hot against his own face where it bounces off Calum’s skin.

Calum settles a hand on Michael’s. “What is?”

Michael hums. “This,” he says again, although he knows that’s mostly meaningless, and it could mean anything. “You. You being here. Just this.”

It’s still kind of nonsensical, but Calum seems to understand anyway. It’s what they do best, understanding each other when nobody else can, when nobody else would bother trying. “I missed you more than I think it’s normal to miss someone,” Calum says quietly. To an outsider listening in, it would sound like a change of subject, but Michael knows it isn’t. It’s perfect to me, too, Calum is saying. It wasn’t any good before. The words hover before them, almost like giving Michael the option to ignore them. 

Michael had known that, of course. Michael had also missed Calum more than it’s normal to miss someone. He’d kind of just figured that was how they operated. Calum is saying it like it should be news, like it should mean something monumental, but it’s all the same to Michael. He missed Calum more than a normal person ought to, but not more than Calum deserves. It’s Calum.

“Your heartbeat’s really fast,” Michael murmurs, also a surface change of subject, trying to say so many things, like I missed you too, an insane amount, and is this new for you, too, or just for me? and have I never noticed that your heart pounds when I hug you, or has it just never before? and it’s okay with me, whatever the answer is. He’s almost afraid to pick his head up, scared that he’s going to see the look on Calum’s face and not like it, scared that it’s going to be what he wants it to be. Scared that something is going to change, but almost more afraid that nothing will.

Calum breathes a laugh. “Of course you would notice that.”

“My face is on your neck,” Michael says. “How could I not notice.”

“I meant it,” Calum says, which Michael had also known, and he knows what Calum means, too; not just that he’d meant what he said, but also what he hadn’t, the unspoken this that Michael had been talking about in the first place.

“So did I,” Michael says, meaning that he meant everything he didn’t say, and he wonders if Calum had understood it, but it’s Calum, and they’re them, so of course Calum has understood it.  He picks his head up off Calum’s shoulder and Calum twists himself around in Michael’s arms, hands fluttering over Michael’s shoulders before landing. Michael is tempted to point out that he probably shouldn’t turn his back on an open flame, and he probably would if he didn’t think it would ruin the moment. They’re definitely in a moment right now, which should probably be weird, but it isn’t. This should feel weird, but it doesn’t, because it’s Calum.

Michael wonders how many exceptions he’s made in his life for Calum, and how many more he’ll make at the drop of a hat. There’s the world, and then there’s Calum, and the rules stop applying somewhere in transit.

Calum rests his forehead against Michael’s. “I thought that maybe it was just me.”

“How could it be just you?” Michael says softly. His own heartbeat is thudding in his chest. “If it’s you, then it’s me. That’s always been true.”

“This is different,” Calum says, except it’s not. “You changed your mind. Recently.”

Michael blinks. “How do you know that?”

“I just,” Calum shrugs, helplessly. “I don’t know. I could just tell. I can tell.”

“I didn’t change my mind,” Michael says, because he doesn’t know what to say to everything else Calum’s just revealed. Like that Calum must have known before Michael knew. And that Calum must have been waiting for Michael to screw his fucking head on right. And that Calum had noticed, the moment it happened. “I just realized, you idiot. You should have fucking told me.”

“This is my fault? ”

“You knew!”

“I thought it was just me,” Calum repeats. 

“Well that was a stupid fucking assumption to make,” Michael tells him. “You were waiting for me to realize.”

“I wasn’t waiting, I was just…” Calum frowns. “Hoping.”

Michael rolls his eyes. “Well, I’m here now,” he says. “I’m all caught up.” They’re dancing around it, he notices, because Michael is just finding his footing and Calum is probably waiting for Michael to say psych!, and neither of them wants to say it. Once they say it, it’s a fact.

It’s a fact already, though. It’s been a part of the MichaelandCalum history since they met, and they’ve both just been idiots about it, basically.

Calum’s eyes crinkle as the ghost of a smile starts to lift at the corners of his lips, and before Michael can even begin to wax poetic about it, they’re kissing. It makes so much sense to be kissing that Michael doesn’t even think, for a moment, that it’s strange. It just feels nice, and feels right, and Calum’s mouth is warm and tastes like chocolate, inexplicably.

Calum exhales sharply when they part. “Fucking finally,” he says, breath hot on Michael’s lips.

“You could have told me we’re in love,” Michael says. “I wish I’d fucking known.”

“Don’t blame this on me. You could have opened your fucking eyes.”

“Pancakes,” Michael remembers. “You’re making pancakes. You should make them.”

“I think, maybe,” Calum says, and then nothing else, just catches Michael in another kiss, sweet like the last, familiar like everything to do with Calum, one of Calum’s hands curling steadily around the back of Michael’s neck. Michael doubts if he’s ever felt more at home than he does right now.

“Okay,” Michael says hoarsely against Calum’s mouth. “More of that. Pancakes later.”

Calum grins. The pancakes sit on the island until they’re cold, vapor dissolving into the cool kitchen air. The world spins on. Life is wonderful.

[biaswreckeedbybts]

Hello 🥺 hope u dont mind me dropping an ask here... I agree to everything u say... tbh with u, and this is my opinion alone, he is more aware of everything than we thought... I feel that the situation had gotten worse and he really just is coping the same way we are. Withdrawn and a little hollow, he is slowly losing sense of what his life really is. You take the stage away from a performer, there will be drastic reactions. I just miss his face and its strange, bc i see him on the tl everyday. But the intimacy we used to share is no longer there 🥺😭 the dam broke today and tq for replying to my sappy emotional post 💜🥺

Wow! This is like my second ask. I'm emo & ty for sending this in. I really appreciate it.

You're right. Take a big chunk of someone's life away from them & they will feel lost & scared. Artists is general thrive on quantitative achievements & qualitative achievements. BTS have the quantitative part but I doubt they can feel the appreciation & love of armys for them right now. They might even judge our appreciation for them through whatever achievements their music/art is making. Im simply saying this by comparing my situation to theirs (our lives are quite similar to theirs,only difference is- theirs are on more grander level with financial stability while ours is on a miniscule level). In pandemic, everyone has suffered one way or another (ofc the poor people suffered once than anyone),so it's only right for us to sympathize with him.

Remember when namjoon did a vlive where the camera was very far away?it was for BE project I think, even then I felt like he's upset & I think the gnawing feeling started from there. there's also no doubt he's always on the receiving end of solo stans' hatred. Then there's also a huge cultural aspect too, in any asian country being 30+ means alot of changes & people view you differently too. I'm pretty sure the thoughts of BTS coming to an end or people giving up on them has come to his mind. Then there's the fact that BTS are becoming big & making new achievements every week- that sht is amazing but also scary. Namjoon being the most introspective Virgo I've ever come across (only judging him based on what he shows us)- ofc he's gonna see the good but attach it with the bad & the what ifs. Break the silence movie is the perfect example of how much he struggles but uses flowery words to cover up the anxiety. Then it's also the fact that getting acknowledged by the govt is a good thing but a bad one too. It restricts you, people see you as political tools even though you are a musician & that's your identity etc. The few times he showed his raw,inner demons- Armys didn't take it well. I think all this intensified in the pandemic & it hit him badly.

For me he's the most perfect but at the same time a non- omniscient human who isn't afraid of growth, that's why I guess you & I & many others relate to him & want to be like him. He's our comfort place because of the words he says & the way he says it- it's as if he understands even though he doesn't know all of us personally. The bond between namjoon & ot7 stans becomes more special because of the way namjoon's brain works.

& God!!the intimacy part?you are so right. Unfortunately for me it's not just namjoon but I feel that way towards all members & I know they feel it too. The BTS= Armys transcends beyond emotional bond, it actually is real in the most rational sense. Thats why I crave for more intimate performances, more intimate promotions,vlives etc. In such situation,that's the only way we can feel close to them but....I mean, that's just my opinion. In no way would I want them to live according to our expectations & fullfil our demands. It's just sometimes you wanna talk & let it all out. Right? Especially when our emotional support group is involved.

[silverlightqueen]

OMG FINALLY I CAN YELL AT THOT CHAN AND CHANGBOOB FOR BEING IDIOTS!

(ask my muse)

@ thot chan: boy why the fuck are you resisting apologising and ruining your friendships??? those people are probably the best thing that’s happened to you IN A WHILE you dumb bitch!! don’t you miss felix’s brownies??? APOLOGISE before i go ahead and ruin your entire whore dating life for you. istg you gonna be left with blue balls by the time i’m done with your ass 😤😤 DONT try me.

it’s not even that hard! just say sorry. write a sappy sad song expressing your regret. you even lost jeongin. aren’t u at least a little sad about that?

@ changBOOB (yes this is just your name now. deal with it. it’s what we’re calling your rude ass until you fix your issues): literally can you just,,,, stop listening to chan’a emo angsty ass and just freaking apologise?? imma burn your gucci bitch 😤😤

you think you scare me?! i’ve got my mum’s slippers ready. yes, this is a threat and i KNOW you’re scared. i’m not afraid of your muscles!! (okay maybe a little but i’m angry enough to not care)

(side note: minho bby idk why you’re in the problematic bunch. you’re such an angel and i love you very much. even if u did stay silent for years and get a bit stupid for a second. it’s okay 🥰)

((THE OTHER TWO!! i want a detailed apology on my desk by friday. you hurt MY feelings with all this nonsense so you’re gonna have to apologise TO ME as well 😤 or else))

The two of them blink in surprise, silent for a moment, before they exchange a taken-aback glance. ‘You wanna go first?’ ‘Hell no. They spoke to you first,’ Changbin says, Chan sighing. ‘There’s no point in me apologising. There’s literally no point at all. It’s not like they’d forgive me if I did, so why would I put myself through that? Go ahead, ruin my dating life. I don’t need all those girls either. I can get by alone, without the prom committee, without jeongin, without girls. I’m fine by myself,’ he says defensively, Changbin just shaking his head at him.

‘Your turn, changboob,’ Chan says with a small grin, Changbin letting out a little noise of annoyance. ‘My name is not changboob. And Chan isn’t influencing me. He was a dick to me on the group chat too, remember? It wasn’t just the others he went for, I was included. So don’t make out like he’s peer pressuring me, or whatever. And fine, burn my gucci. I’ll buy more. Your mum’s slipper isn’t nothing against these biceps,’ he smirks, flexing his arms, and both Chan and Minho roll their eyes at him.

‘I guess I got put in the problematic group chat because I was part of the problem. If it weren’t for me, none of the stuff on the group chat would’ve even happened in the first place, so I get why Jisung put me, and Hyunjin, in the problematic group chat. But thanks, I appreciate the support,’ Minho says awkwardly, small smile on his face, the other two boys looking jealous at not getting any form of support like Minho did. 

‘Sorry if I hurt your feelings. That’s the only apology you’re getting. Not a written one,’ Changbin says drily, before looking to Chan, prompting him to apologise too. ‘I didn’t even apologise to any of those guys. What makes you think I’m apologising to a reader? Don’t be ridiculous,’ Chan scoffs, both Changbin and Minho sighing.

[mediocrity-at-best]

6, Lamp if you don't mind

Here you are!

Title: Gift

Words: 1,844

Warnings: none

Patton was doing his best not to squeal or giggle or wriggle out of his seat. His three partners were all casting him fond—if confused—looks. He wasn’t great at masking his elation, but at least he hadn’t accidentally told on himself already.

“Patton, is there a particular reason you appear to be about to jump onto the table?” Logan asked, their voice sappy. They tried to pretend they were good at hiding their emotions, but Patton knew better. When Logan looked at him and their voice got a little slower, they were fighting back the urge to kiss him all over his face.

Gosh, Patton really wanted to get kisses all over his face right now.

“I’m just excited!” he chirped, trying to keep from flapping his hand into a glass and knocking it off the table.

“Aw, he’s just the softest little puffball we got,” Roman said to Virgil. Virgil snorted and shook his head, a cute little smirk curling his lips.

“Are we eating or what?” Virgil said, shifting in his chair. “Is there going to be a dinner part to this dinner?”

“Oh, can it, J.D-elightful. We’re getting there.” Roman stood up from the table and Patton chased him to the kitchen to bring out the food. He had planned this night, every little aspect of it, and had done almost all of the food preparations himself. Roman had helped, because he was very good at cooking and only he could get Logan’s meal perfect, but Patton had made sure that everything was exactly as it needed to be.

And it would not be great if Roman looked somewhere he didn’t know he wasn’t supposed to and saw the surprise that he did not and was not yet supposed to know about because if he did he would not be surprised, as he was supposed to be.

That sentence threw Patton for a loop, even as he thought it, and he almost missed Roman reaching for the cabinet. He jumped in front of Roman to block him, and then froze. What was he supposed to say now?

“Uh, Patty, I do need to get a bowl, you know. Everything good?” Patton nodded frantically and, in the only tactic he knew would not fail to redirect Roman’s attention, kissed him. Roman leaned into it immediately, drawing Patton as close as they could be.

“Oh,” he gasped, pulling back when neither of them could go longer without breathing and Virgil would surely be grumbling his way into the kitchen to get the food himself soon. “That is definitely a worthy cause.”

“I thought so,” Patton said, coy, and pressed another kiss into Roman’s cheek. Grinning broadly and whistling, Roman scooped up some of the food and made his way back to the table, previous objective entirely forgotten. Patton released a relieved breath and bent to grab a bowl, carefully moving the boxes he had stashed in their least used cabinet back a little farther.

Patton brought the rest of the food in, and set it on the table with a flourish. Roman looked smug while Logan and Virgil stared in shock. The two had worked to make all of their favorite meals, which was a sizable undertaking because none of them had the same taste in food. Roman liked Malai Kofta, but combined with other food so spicy that Patton could hardly stand to look at it, Logan liked a very specifically prepared type of Cantonese slow-cooked soup with rice that their mom had taught Roman how to make, Virgil liked chocolate chip pancakes, strawberries, and a generous helping of syrup, and Patton liked spaghetti and garlic bread.

“Did I forget an anniversary or something?” Virgil asked, floored. He looked up at Patton. “This must’ve taken hours to make.”

He shrugged. “I had some free time,” he said evasively, pointedly ignoring Virgil’s questioning look. “I am going to spoil you if it’s the last thing I do.”

“And I’m gonna help,” Roman added. He gallantly pulled Patton’s chair out for him, and they all began to eat. Logan looked particularly happy about the surprise, and Patton couldn’t help that he kept staring at them, admiring those small, contented huffs that they made as they ate. Roman was doing something similar, but much more smugly. Virgil grabbed Patton's hand.

“Thanks,” he said. “It’s really good.”

“Of course, Virge! Anything for you. I love you.”

Virgil flushed red, from the base of his neck to the tips of his ears. He hid his face behind his bangs, mumbling something Patton couldn’t hear.

He didn’t need to hear it to know that it was full of love.

“Are we flustering the emo?” Roman asked, leaning forward to catch Virgil’s eye. “He’s so cute! Look at his adorable snake bites and those earthy brown eyes! I could swoon!” Roman dramatically fell back into his chair, shutting his eyes, and then sneakily opening one to peek at Virgil, who had gone from a slowly receding pink to bright, firetruck red in the blink of an eye.

“Let him be,” Logan said from their seat beside Virgil. They smiled, soft and teasing. “It’s not his fault he is such a beautiful person, or that he is so intelligent.” Virgil dropped his fork with a clatter and covered his face with his hands.

“You guys are the worst,” he said, voice muffled. Patton giggled and reached for his hand, giving it a squeeze.

“You loooove us,” Roman sang.

“Yeah, well. I’ve never claimed to have sense.”

“And how lucky for the rest of us,” Logan said.

“You don’t have any kind of excuse, Sherlock.” Virgil batted their hand away from where they were trying to brush his bangs back. “I still don’t know how we dragged you into this.” Virgil motioned wildly at the table, filled with four different kinds of food but, as far as Patton was concerned, only one kind of love.

“I think we’re all the smartest people ever,” Patton added, bouncing forward and almost knocking his cup over for the second time. “After all, we did keep each other.”

“Perhaps you have a point,” Logan said. They adjusted their glasses. “Perhaps we are all rather smart for finding each other and staying that way. Even if some of us like to sing Disney songs at three in the morning.”

“Hey! We were being sappy!” Roman exclaimed. “No fair!”

Patton laughed and leaned on a hand, watching them bicker and tease and blush. It was a sight he’d never tire of.

Once dinner was over and their faces were mostly not red, Patton cleared up the plates and gave them all the order to stay at the table for a few more minutes. The night wasn’t over yet. Roman oohed, intrigued, and obediently stayed put.

Patton deposited the plates in the sink and pulled the Oreo Truffles he’d made out of the fridge. Grabbing the can of whip cream, too, Patton carted the dessert back to the table, relinquishing them for consumption. Roman, Logan, and Virgil stared with rapt attention

This dessert was special to them all. It was the first one that Patton had made for them when they’d started dating, and the one that had, coincidentally, spurred them all to meet in the first place. (He had been catering an event they’d all been at, and the three of them had liked the truffles so much that they had sought out Patton’s bakery the next day. Patton has considered the truffles his luckiest dessert ever since.)

“Ta-da!” Patton said, motioning to the plate of dessert that he’d poured his heart into. Suddenly, Virgil lunged up from the table and kissed Patton wildly. His lips were warm and slightly sticky, sweet from the chocolate and syrup. Patton kissed back, relishing in the feeling.

“Pat,” Virgil gasped when he pulled away, shocked and smitten all at once. Patton grinned up at him, but before he could say anything, there were hands on his waist, twisting him around. This time the lips were slightly chapped and had a salty-sweet tang. It had to be Logan, and they were no less insistent in their kiss than Virgil had been.

“My Dear,” Logan murmured into his mouth, breathing hard. Patton trilled happily and kissed them again, feeling like he might fly right out of his skin.

Logan eventually released their hold on Patton, and he was swept right into Roman’s arms. Roman’s kiss was passionate, stealing all the air in Patton’s lungs, and tasted like spices. Patton kissed back, getting lost in the plethora of tastes on his tongue and feel of them on his lips.

“Darling, you are too good to us,” Roman said. Patton smiled, panting.

“You deserve all the best in the world,” he said quietly. Roman looked like he might try to kiss Patton again, but then one of the truffles was being shoved into his mouth. Patton choked on a laugh and turned to see the mischievous grin on Virgil’s face. He leaned down to ghost a kiss over Patton’s cheekbone and then offered him a truffle. Patton accepted it, taking a bite.

“When did you get the time to make all this?” Logan asked. They had a bit of chocolate on their face and Patton thumbed it off.

“It took a little planning,” he admitted, shrugging.

“Why make it, though?” Virgil asked. “It’s not, like, an anniversary is it? I think I’d remember if it was.”

“We’re getting there,” Patton said.

“You’re planning something,” Roman breathed at the same time that Virgil burst out with, “I fucking knew it!”

“Do we get to know what it is that you are planning?” Logan asked, ignoring their boyfriends’ out-bursts.

Patton hummed, a hand on his chin, pretending to think about it. “I guess so. But!” He shooshed Roman’s excited squawk. “It’s a surprise. Sooooooo,” Patton pushed them all back into their chairs, “you have to close your eyes until I say so.” Roman groaned. “I’ll be quick, you just wait right here!”

“You know how I feel about surprises,” Virgil grumbled. Patton grabbed his hand.

“You liked the dinner surprise, and the dessert. Promise, Vee, it’s something you’ll like.” Virgil sighed and stared at him. Patton waited patiently until all three of them gave in and shut their eyes, and then he scampered into the kitchen and pulled the boxes out of their hiding place in the cabinet. One midnight blue, one fire red, one royal purple.

Carefully, quietly, Patton set each box in front of the proper recipient, popped their lids, and then took his seat. With a deep breath to calm himself, he said, “you can look.”

Roman gasped as soon as he saw the ring inside the box. Logan made a choked, cut off noise. Virgil was just staring, but a tiny smile was starting to form.

If Patton had learned anything about himself over the years, it was that he was bad at speeches. So he kept it short and sweet. “Do you wanna get married?”

Their answers were enthusiastic to say the least.

[tylerwritez]

Tuesday, june 22 2021

I've noticed I'm getting "the shiverys" or "the twitchy" a lot today. Like every time I FEEL something I take a moment to violently tic.... every time I think about certain things I tic.... good things, bad things, things from an hour ago and things from years ago. Tic, tic, tic.

Also, I have... some stuff to explain. Its really no big deal, but you know me: I'll freak out about it anyway. Basically I dissed my friend (rightfully so) around the time that we had just met cos they did something that threw me off.

He saw it in my phone... NOW. it's not RELEVANT anymore and I've since redacted that criticism...and now I gotta explain it to him anwyays. Oh well. I'm good at this stuff. I can get myself outta any situation. I dont even know why I'm talking like this tho... it's not a "Situation" it's just smthn I gotta explain rq.

Oh, today's song recommendation is Spirit Crusher by Death. I'm a huge Death fan...

Also! I gotta study... for my replacement exam. How stressful. Its about photosynthesis, but like, it's not simple. We went DEEP inside those fucking leaves.

One sec, lemme hook up my IV tube

Not an ACTUAL IV tube... just my headphones. But since I'm so #emo, it might as well be a fucking IV tube with the way that I cant live without it.

Its 3:08 and I'm walking home now. I was upset last night but me and Star have made up now lol... it was thAt easy. I'm so defective, making shit hard when it doesnt need to be.

It's so hot out damn. Idk. I had school today, so I had Bio class... I ACTUALLY PAID ATTENTION for once. I had lunch with Star and her friend group, and I honestly kinda feel like they're MY friends now too, even just a little bit.

Actually, I used to rant about feeling lonely like all the time but now I have so many friends it's crazy they all keep inviting me places and it's like people WANT ME AROUND... idk. It makes me happy.

Today I gotta ask if tommroow after school I can go to Bee's house to watch Supernatural (famous homoerotic ghost show)

I should also add songs to Erin's spotify playlist for our picnic saturday which I still need permission to go to.

I gotta ask for Wednesday after school to watch Insidious with Jay  which is apparently really good

Also hes the friend that I gotta explain stuff to... the DrAmA... the ThEaTrE....

Update my dad said yes to hanging out with Bee but first I'm gonna miss school to fix my broken brackets on my braces

Also turns out the house I THOUGHT we were moving into has substantial damage from shifting so... we aRENT moving there.

In case you didn't know, shifting is when like the house that's been built literally SHIFTS like it moves around.

Anwyays Jay just texted me... I'm gonna change into shorts since it's hot, set up my study area,.... and respond to him.

The time is 3:22 p.m.

Wish me. Luck.

Luck is plentiful! As it so often is in my risky, risky life.

I play my cards right. It's a learnt skill.

But also there wasnt much to explain since it passed already and was tiny anywyas.

XD so I've made up with the whole goddamn world by now.

Its 6:31, we saw 1 house. Only one. Its kinda hot out but I'm gonna bike now since we just had supper. I finally finished my homework... I just have to finish one mixed media piece as my final project for art!

Friday is my replacement. On photosynthesis and cell resp. We know this. But what I didn't mention, or I dont THINK I did, is that if I finish my art project before then I have the second block FREE!!! Me, Star, and her friend

A are planning to leave for second block and maybe get mint chocolate chip ice cream!

Also I might eat her out XD

Anyways idk. I hope I can bike tonight to call Jay.

I keep accidentally using people's real names here then having to correct it... I dont know how much i care about MY identity being discovered... but to have my friends doxxed would suck.

Man I feel bad abt saying fuck star last night cos we made up....

Wait we r looking at another house? Idk I'm in the car still waiting to go home

Oh wait no now we r goin home

Its 6:39... I hope I still have time.

I went biking, called Jay. Went home. Idk, friendly conversation... we talked more tonight and I also talked to my other friend A. Jay is... I LOVE HIM?? SO MUCH??? I feel so happy. Talking to him thinking about him seeing his STUPID FUCKING FACE JESUS. his eyes alone... I could stare at his face all day probably. I want to kiss him... hOLD HIS HAND... omg... huG HIM!!! Eofjwpxjwie he's so sweet like I can't even... and I'm proabably not good enough for him like. Wtf. Hes easily a 10. And I dont rate things outta 10. How tf do I end up with HIM? Doing stuff, as friends. Like wHAT. I guess I got lucky XD. He says he loves my personality and I'm hot XD ofc I dont see it myself. But like. JESUS CHRIST he could proabably easily pull whOever. XD me?

Whatever though. As long as we r together and stuff. I LOVE HIM A LOT. he said he loved me. Every time he says that it makes me so overly happy.

Maybe I'm just sappy and stuff.... whatever. I think it would be nice to be hugged by him.

Yeah I'm cheesy.

I'm sorta tired now so maybe I'm not writing the best.

I just keep thinkinf about love. Love is a muscle of evil suggestion. But how evil can it really be? I am just a human being and that is all. Everything else is applied. I am just a human being with soemthing in my heart that pulls me all over the place. Love is this strange thing because I'm fucked up and to be able to love without that fucked up part of me, without the damage... is this complicated, hard thing to do and I can NEVER tell if I'm doing it right but I know I'm DOING IT. I know I FEEL LOVE. And soemtimes it's such an intense thing like when you go to surf on a wave at the beach with ur belly but u hit it wrong and it's so big and overwhelming it washes over you and PULLS you down to the bottom and smushes your face into the sand and YOU CANT BREATHE jesus Christ it's like that.

Or maybe I just want to experience love as it should be felt.

Obviously all of my problems surrounding this Damage could be easily fixed if I went to therapy but. there are reasons I can't.

I LOVE a lot. Too much for my own good. Enough to hurt me, get me into trouble, etc etc but also... enough to liberate me. I LOVE. I love Jay. So much. LIKE. MY BRAIN ORBITS AROUND HIM CONSTANTLY THINKING OF HIM AND PRAISING HIM AND MWUAH HE IS SO LOVELY I BOW BEFORE HIM...

I think as much as I love, a lot of the times I tend to focus even more on BEING loved.

If I am told I am loved, and shOwN I am loved... it is one of the most powerful things. Especially since I was literally emotionally neglected in childhood... yeah. I feel like I'm always trying to fill that hole.

Not EVERY feeling I have is for that reaosn but sometimes, if you tell me you love me, show me you love me, hug me,... I'll like start crying,,, that's the childhood emotional neglect kicking in. If you call me #smol and #cute and say I look young and fragile which happens more often than you'd think XD, I know I'm not supposed to like that shit, so I act like I dont....but I do. Which is PROBABLY ALSO THE CEN 🤪  like whatever lol

Anwyays I'm fucked up

You see how quickly things become complicated in my mind?

Convoluted? Is that the word?

Whatever. I OVERCOMPLICATE THINGS COS I OVERTHINK THEM BECAUSE I'm LITERALLY MENTALLY ILL IN SO MANY DIFFERENT WAYS. I'm not joking. I obviously have unresolved undiagnosed "issues"

I do Suspect things, though.

I can make a list

Maybe I shouldn't.

Maybe I will.

I shouldnt.

Whatever.

I used to hate when people brought up my self harm. I would actually panic. I still self harm but now? Now I'm fine with anyone  talking about it as long as it's not an adult who can get me into trouble/force me into therapy over it. Because really? I kinda like having it mentioned. It's kinda validating and it's like hey... people can see that I'm sick.

I dont do it so people talk to me about it though. Dont get me wrong. If I did, I'd go vertically on the arms, not for suicide but so it healed and people would ask XD.

My scars are actually VERY hidden... cos I never intended for ANYONE to see. But for those who DO see them,,,, it's nice soemtimes to have people express concern.

I dont wanna be PITIED or anything, but idk I just think to myself "wow, they're CONCERNED... about ME... they arent angry or mean... they didnt yell at me or threaten me... they respect my autonomy and privacy...

And they CARE ABOUT ME..." and it makes me cry.

That's also the CEN.

I dont know. I just like when people express genuine concern. Even if they see and then just ask if I'm okay. That's all it takes cos then I go wow.

Its validating and irs lovely because finally people care... FINALLY PEOPLE CARE. FINALLY I GET SOME EMPATHY OR SYMPATHY AND NO ANGER.

Even just having them brought up tells me its noticeable enough

My brain does this thing where it thinks nothing bad that's ever happened to me was Bad Enough for me to be upset about.

And I dont know... its nice sometimes to be told shit like "omg that looks so bad" or to see that people who do see my cuts are somewhat shocked or revolted... it's nice because I go... "hey, it was bad enough for them..."

Or to have people comment on them with concern. Just ANYTHINT WHERE PEOPLE NOTICE IT AND ARENT ASSHOLES ABOUT IT IS VALIDATING.

Because I'm not used to that...

Because CEN

I'm. The worst perosn on the fucking planet.

I should kill myself.

I suddenly actually feel so self hating I do want to kill myself... oh god.

I ruin everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. What have I done. Like. Why. Oh god.

I'm just remembering when Star said my kindness seemed like an act. And how I've been called out for seeming fake like 2 other times.

DO I SEEM FAKE???? I DONT EVER PUT ON ACTS OF KINDESS.... CONCIOUSLY? but the very idea that I could be perceived that way...

Should I like not try to be nice or some shit?

Jesus christ she hurts my feelings even now when it was a long time ago.

But I cant blame her. I can't blame anyone for how i feel except my parents because they left me with fucking. Heart nerve damage or some shit.

I'm tired and now I'm sad too. Goodnight guys.

[brandstifter-sys]

Bone Palace Ballet

Word Count: 1111               (Ao3)

Rating: T

Pairing: Dukexiety

Warnings: Innuendo, mild gore (Remus)

Dukexiety Week: Day 5 - Music. Virgil is a little emotionally distraught and uses music to cope, too bad he’s predictable and Remus knows what certain artists mean. He just wants to know what he did to piss off his emo. 

@dukexietyweek

---

It was easy to tell when Virgil was pissed off, and easier to tell why he was pissed off. He liked to use his music as a release. If Deceit was bothering him he would blast "Wolf in Sheep's Clothing" by Set it Off. When Logan got under his skin it was "Had Enough" by Breaking Benjamin. Patton getting too overbearing would result in "Let You Down" by Three Days Grace. Roman got special treatment, Evanescence and Bullet for my Valentine—not just one song like the others. Remus was even worse—Silverstein was for when he said something to get under his skin, Parkway Drive was for when he did something to anger Virgil, but not all of that was because Remus did something wrong.

Remus was passing through the commons when the distinct sound of metal screams hit his ears. He winced knowing exactly which song he was hearing and he wondered how he upset his best friend—who he wanted to cuddle and kiss until his lips fell off—leaving a bloody trail.

"Harlot's Web?" He shouted and banged his fist on the door. He could make out two voices screaming beautifully and he tried not to swoon. When Virge didn't miss a beat, Remus composed himself and went inside. 

It was just too adorable for him when he saw Virgil standing in the middle of his room with a brush in his hands and his hair in his face. He was too busy banging his head and screaming his lungs out.

"My. Heart. Bleeds. No. More! NOW! It's been turned to stone! You're—What are you doing in my room!?" Virgil yelped when he noticed Remus staring at him.

"Oh, you know, stalking you, hoping to find you asleep so I can watch you!" Remus teased, bringing a furious blush to Virgil's face. The emo paused his music on his phone and crossed his arms.

"Get out!" 

"Mmm no. I know what Silverstein means so what do I need to do to make it better? I'm down for anything you want! And I mean anything!"

"Leave." 

"I'm sure you can think of something better than that, Scare Bear!" Remus jeered, "At least tell me what I did this time!" 

"Get out of my room and don't call me that!"

"Aw why?" 

"Just don't!" 

"Alright, my tell-tale heart!"

"That's even worse!" 

"My wet nightmare?" 

"No! Nothing that suggests you like me that way!" 

"But how else can I drop hints!?" Remus groaned, "Honestly even when I'm being subtle I'm not subtle! I can't do subtle!" 

"What?" Virgil questioned and dropped his brush. He was staring at Remus in shock. Did the supposedly vigilant one seriously not catch on? 

"I like you, Virgil, like, like-like you. I would keep your organs on a shelf instead of selling them or eating them. I didn't think my hints were all that subtle. I want to be your boyfriend and do all the stupid things couples do but with a fun twist! I mean, I want to be your best friend still, even if my feral mojo doesn't work on you! You are a boy and I am a duke, can I make it anymore obvious?!" 

"You coulda maybe said something direct without resorting to Avril," Virgil grumbled and averted his gaze, "I don't do well with hints. I overanalyze. You know that." 

"Okay!" Remus beamed, "Virgil I have a major heart boner for you and I want to be all sappy and domestic with you and maybe get in your pants!" 

"And you're sure you're talking to the right guy, right? I'm kinda—me." Virgil said and waved his hands around uncertainly.

"I'm positive! And you can hit me with a lightning bolt to prove it!" Remus answered with a shimmy. Virgil snorted and fought back a smile. 

"You interrupted my jam session to ask me out, you are so lucky I'm saying yes." 

"Really?" 

"On one condition," Virgil smirked, "You have to suffer through the rest of it, without complaining." 

"Scare Bear Scaring Bears," Remus laughed and flopped on the bed, "you say that as if I'm not getting the second best kind of show and a sexy emo boyfriend!" 

"Do I want to know what tops me?" 

"I'm a 'what!'" Remus cheered and winked.

"Only in your dreams, Pup," Virgil scoffed, "You're just a sandwich." 

"A sandwich? I am a snack!" 

"Not what I meant," Virgil jeered and pressed his tongue to his cheek, "You're a sub." Remus beamed and laughed.

"Okay, okay, you got me!" he giggled, "Just jam so I can nut from your voice and get all sappy and lovestruck!" 

Virgil took his phone and switched to a different artist. He grabbed his hair brush from the floor. He would never admit it, but he was keen on performing. Call it being part of Thomas—as long as the audience was small and non-judgemental, namely just Remus.

Remus sat cross-legged and wiggled excitedly. Virgil smirked and held the brush like a microphone again, nervous but ready. Then he pressed play.

"Did my heart love until now? Because I've never seen–" he ran his free hand down Remus' cheek, making the duke flush and squirm, "–beauty til this night! I'm forever, yeah, I'm forever yours!" Virgil couldn't fight the grin crossing his face as Remus squirmed like a flustered ferret. 

"I'm right here in front of you and I can't stop sh-sh-shaking! I can't stop sh-sh-shaking! C'mon and hold me still," he sang, tapping his foot in time with the drum as he neared Remus. The duke was vibrating in his seat. 

"You're wearing your skin like it's too tight," he said with a coy, teasing lilt to his voice. Remus couldn't take it. He was so close, so tantalizingly close and open. 

Remus dragged him down by the jacket and kissed his breath away. And Virge kissed back with just as much longing and need, tangling his hand through Remus' mane and dropping the brush to wrap his arm around the duke's back. 

"I've been wanting to do that for ages," Virgil snickered when they broke apart, "but I was in the middle of something." 

"Yeah, seducing me!" Remus jeered, "Maybe you should skip the jam session and make out with me and cuddle." 

"You know what," Virgil said and paused the music again, "I think that's a good idea." He flopped on the bed and dragged Remus down with him. 

As they kissed, Remus couldn't help but take a mental note. When Virgil wanted to think about him in a positive way, the emo would jam to Chiodos. Remus never expected he would want to hear that band all the time now.

---

Songs mentioned:

Had Enough

Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing

Let You Down

My Heart Bleeds No More

Bulls Make Money, Bears Make Money, Pigs Get Slaughtered