#i’m just a whiny bitch ignore me lmao

[archduke-enver-gortash]

gonna try to go to bed now while having an absolutely normal one wish me luck

[things-arent-what-they-seem66]

Okay!!! Have you seen that meme going around? Where a somebody took a photo of themself and their partner in bed together, their partner is ignoring them in favour of cuddling a massive plushie?

Ah yes. Me, my girlfriend and her 500 dollar four foot tall mareep- meme

Wellll

On Hell-net! Lucifer updates his feed with a photo.

Lucifer his laying on his back with a pout, his eyes are half-lidded.

Lucifer: Ah yes. Me, my husband and his 2500 dolled six foot tall ‘Luci-duck’ plushie.

Comments come pouring in

Charlie: Awww!!! That plushie is so cute!!!

Vaggie: where’d he get it ? (Maybe she can get a Charlie version)

Husk: I feel your pain

Angel Dust likes the comment and leaves a comment underneath: Don’t get jealous, I love you almost just as much. - Angel has a husk plushie too!

Angel Dust: Don’t worry big D! He’ll still give you some loving tonight! Just be as cute!

Lucifer likes the comment and leaves a comment underneath: Unfortunately he told me not to interrupt his ‘Luci-duckies’ time.

Cherri bomb: Shit dude! I actually bad for yah! I can help you burn it if you want?

Lucifer likes the comment and leaves a comment underneath: I’ve tried before. Adam couched me for a month and Charlie betrayed me - starts a mini conversation underneath with Vaggie excited that Charlie knows where the plushies come from and Charlie scolding both cherri and lucifer for thinking about burning Adams second plushie

Alastor: Ah I see he’s upgraded from a whiny little bitch (Lucifer comments underneath: Fuck off! That thing would never replace me!

Alastor responds: Seems he already has)

A few hours later…

Adam finally posts and he isn’t happy: The fuck Luci! You’re being a hypocrite! You have a fucking 5000+ dolled ten foot tall ‘Adam-duck’ plushie!

Charlie: What! Is this true!

Angel Dust: Post the pics or it isn’t true

Adam: Look at this shit! And he has the nerve to attack my Luci-Duck!!

Adam uploads a photo with Lucifer snuggled into a ten foot Adam-Duck plushie with mountains of smaller Adam plushies around him. Not all of them are ducks

Adam: Look at this! I only have the one Lucifer merchandise!

Lucifer: Adam! Don’t expose me like that!!!!

Angel Dust: Adam, let’s go Lucifer merchandise shopping tomorrow!

Adam: Fuck yeah

Lucifer: Adam!!! Stop ignoring me! We live in the same damn house, we share a room!!! Put the phone down and look at me!!!

Cherri Bomb: Huh, who knew the King was such a clinging lover?

Angel Dust: I know right. It’s actually really cute

Few hours later…

Lucifer: Adam!!!! Come on!!!! Please stop ignoring me already! I won’t ever hurt your Luci-Duck ever again!

Adam: I love my Luci-Duck even more now

Lucifer: I’m sorrrrrryyyyyyyyy!!!!

I love the fact that they have merchandise and buy each other's LMAO

Yes I've seen that meme and I love it.

[idiosyncraticrednebula]

I might come off as kind of whiny or bitchy (or whatever y’all wanna perceive me as) for saying this, but Twitter has become such disgusting ass site to be on. I first created an account in 2013, but Twitter used to be very different 8 years ago and it wasn’t nearly as popular as it is now, although that might change judging by how they’re handling a certain sector of users *cough* conservatives/non-liberals *cough* on their platform. It’s a shell of its former self and has now turned into an absolute cesspool because of the wave of toxic ass indivuals that arrived there. It started getting toxic by the late ‘10s and I took notice of that, I permanently left the site forever and bowed to NEVER go back there again. I’ve been Twitter-free for almost 3 years now and let me tell y’all that it was a wise decision on part, specially considering how I usually tend to make shitty decisions lmao. Tumblr is nowhere perfect and tbh, there’s a lot of shit on this site as well, but the difference between Tumblr and Twitter is that on Tumblr you can actually share your opinion without constantly getting “canceled” or dragged, unlike Twitter where everyfuckingbody has to think and feel exactly the same or else you’re their enemy; smells like good ol’ fascism, doesn’t it? (notice my sarcasm). Besides, Tumblr brings in a lot of creative people while on Twitter you don’t find that shit very often. One downside to Twitter are the fucking bluecheckmarks, MY GOD, these people are not only obnoxious as FUCK, but they are highly ignorant, stubborn, self-righteous and full of themfuckingselves, but they don’t see themselves that way precisely because of their bloated egos. They have a “high school mean girl” mentality where they view everyone else who doesn’t think like them as beneath their level both in terms of status and intellect. Fucking self-centered morons, and they wanna criticize Trump for being an arrogant asshole (which he essentially is, don’t get me wrong), but they are just the same if not WORSE because they wanna pretend that they are holier than thou. A major thing that motivated me to leave are the “Men Are Trash” feminist crowd, these bitches are why I wish Thanos was real so he could wipe them out from existence, yeah, I’m THAT dramatic and bitter (take that Anakin). All these so-called strong and independent women did was bitch and moan about how men are so awful, how men deserve to die, how women are the superior gender and much more gender studies bullshit. If you are supposedly so strong and independent, why the fuck are you obsessed with someone else and what they’re doing???! It sounds like a lot of these pseudo-feminist bitches are bitter as fuck because they encountered a mean guy. Don’t get me wrong, I understand a lot of this hate and bitterness comes from the fact that: A) They didn’t have a father, B) A traumatic experience, C) A bunch of male negativity around their lives, or D) Social engineering from media/press and entertainment. But goddamn, all these so-called strong women ever did on Twitter was bitch about men, and then they wonder why we have misogynistic and sexist men around??? The political correctness crowd and what the internet refers to as “social justice warrios”, also part of Stan Twitter, are another big reason as to why I left Twitter. I could go on and on about why Twitter is trash and why I think we should let that shit’s stocks drop to HELL. The only thing I miss are the memes, but that’s about it.

[rynhaswritersblock]

tiktok famous (hc) - part two | p.p.

summary: a whole bunch of dif tiktoks featuring you and bae peter

warnings: chaotic energy, cussing, and BUTTERFLIES

+ + +

- i'm backkkkkkkkk

- so y'all really enjoyed the last tiktok imagine

- and you wanted another

- SO HERE WE GO BABYYYYYYYYY!!

- so basically....

- (just enjoy it)

- i got a lot of tiktok related comments and requests and i hope i remember them all

- (big boobs? whew chile) ANYWAYS SO:

- like pretty much none of them link together so this hc is going to be split into sections of like... blurbs!!

- yayayayayaya

- this one is inspired by @drecming

- so i think most of us know this very special sound..

- ...

- CAN'T TAKE BIG DICK BUT I SUCK ON IT

- y eah

- so as per usual

- you and peter b chillin

- they really do b vibin doe

- OH BY THE WAY

- y'all are dating in this situation :)))))))))

- and as you're binge watching your favorite show you can't stop doing the hand motions to that friggin dance

- aka the epidemic of generation z

- i keep doing the sugar by brockhampton dance i literally can't stop it's fine

- and thank god peter somehow doesn't notice

- like your movements are so subtle but you deadass keep doing it like once per minute

- and so you get up

- like "fuck this, man. if it's stuck in my head i'm at least gonna make a tiktok"

- and so you set it up

- peter's still on the couch in the background

- this boy STILL doesn't really notice what you're doing

- to be fair hsmtmts is a very enticing show ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

- but as soon as the audio plays peter recognizes it

- his head WHIPS over to you

can't take big dick but i suck on it

- he raises an eyebrow at you

i ain't fucking with the pussy, got a bump on it

- *eyebrow raise intensifies*

bad bitch put the pussy on me (on me)

- he sits up, watching as your hips roll (oh man)

whip out my dick then i hump on it

- he slightly cringes at the lyrics me too peter

i'm a bad ass bitch, what you lookin at?

- your butt

ima throw that-

- "oH NO YOU DON'T!" he yells, slight smile on his face as he swiftly shoots a web at you, the string wrapping around your waist and spinning you to him

- the song continues to play as you snort, wheezing as he balances you

- the video finishes and you raise your eyebrows at him

- "no throwing it back on camera," he says pointedly

- you tilt your head in a way that screams peter i love you but you and i both know that i can do what i wanna do and over-protectiveness can be toxic

- he sighs

- "okay, you can, but i'd like it better if it were just for me"

...

- HAHAHAHA

- okay NEXT ONE

- this next one is inspired by @ritxal

- in this one you can choose your relationship

- so peter is a natural born softboy

- he didn't choose the softboy life, the softboy life chose him

- but here's the thing

- it was friday night

- you were bored

- and you decided

- it was time for a change

- and so you approached the man

- who happened to be upside down

- because when is he not

- and, ignoring his protests, gave him an e-boy makeover

- poor peter was decked the fuck out

- striped long sleeve

- band tee

- black ripped jeans wITH THE CHAIN

- nike socks and af1s

- beanie

- and most importantly

- black nails and a little black heart under his left eye

- just picture it p lease

- and it his transformation was posted on your account to forever embarrass him

- and you lowkey found this look a lil wee bit ATTRACTIVE

- whatever

- okey this one's for you @lilmissquackson !!!!!!!

- y'all ever seen the without me (halsey) ones??

- ye

- even if you haven't you'll still get it lol

- so you're in class

- learning about sokovia because history and shit

- and, bored as hecc, you decide to whip out your phone and copy this video you'd seen

- you begin filming and place your right hand on top of peter's left (yay classmates!! sitting next to each other WHOOP!)

- his gaze is hard on his paper as he continues to scribble down notes

- you turn the camera to him for a bit and you're like yes perfect

- and then you return the camera and pull your hand away

- and he REACHES OVER AND TAKES YOUR HAND BACK

- AND YOU'RE LIKE  Y E S

- IT WORKED OUT

- PLUS HE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW AND HE'S SO CUTE

- you put the phone down, smiling, adjusting your hand a little before you realize you can't take notes anymore because your hand is occupied and using your left hand just aint it period (a/n: im so sorry if any of y'all are left handed lol but pretend y'all are in opposite positions so he has your left hand haha)

- and it's then that he looks at you

- and if his eyes don't make you MELT

- okay i'm sorry that last one was mediocre but you get the point

- alright so like in this process of writing this i've been struggling a bit with details and stuff and making it sound good and funny so they're gonna be short and sweet bc i literally don't know What To Do :)))))))))))))))))

- back to your regularly scheduled programming hell yeah

- this one's for you, @drecming

- back at it again with the ideas!!!! fuck yes!!!

- okay SO

- you seen those "i'm on my savage shit" ones?

- where the guys hand is on the girl's thigh (OR IF YOU'RE A DUDE READING THIS JUST STILL IMAGINE YOUR OWN LEG I TRY TO KEEP THIS GENDER NEUTRAL BUT I FORGET AND PLUS RN IM JUST EXPLAINING THE TIKTOK KJSDBVIBUV) and then she pulls her leg away and the music is like

iM oN mY sAvAgE sHiT

- anyways

- peter's hand is just vibing on your leg

- for you dirty minded folks no it's not vibrating or doing all that janky shit we're children of god here

- says the one who just said the s word OOPS

- and you, as per usual, pull up the sound and start recording

- peter hears the music and is like Huh????

- and then you pull your leg away, grinning at him cheekily before he grabs you, phone flying out of your hand and he pulls you into his lap

"my thigh"

- you give him a look like excuse me sir hUh

- and his face is just like

0_0

- before he smiles at you and laughs and says he's kidding

- but then he stops laughing

...

- and raises an eyebrow

- WOAHHHHHHHH SPICY

- zooooweeeeemamaaaaaaa

- aight moving on

- THE NEXT ONES ARE INSPIRED BY YOURS TRULY!! YAY ME FOR HAVING IDEAS FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE!!!!

- so i'm sure you and like everyone @ your school (if you're in school.. lol) is familiar with this one

- i'm just gonna let y'all experience it idk why i've been telling the tiktok before idek sajbsidvb

- so you're in class right

- doing nothing bc your teacher sucks :////

- but its fine bc it's a fun class

- so you set up your phone with you and peter in the screen and start recording

- peter looks at the phone and then you, confused

"hey, stop!" you say in a whiny voice

- mans is like Uhhhhh what did i Do

"stop! omg peter sTop!" you're smiling at him

- he's so confused

- and then as you're talking

- your voice suddenly lowers into your lower register

"stop!! peter stop it- I SAID STOP."

- his eyes widen and a confused smile is on his face as he jumps back slightly

"YOU KEEP PLAYING *smacks your hand on the table* TOO DAMN MUCH."

- the video stops and you and peter are just silent for a second before busting out laughing

"you've never seen those?"

"no????"

"god peter, you live under a rock"

- the duck walked up to the lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand: hey! bonk bonk bonk got any grapes?

- sorry i randomly thought of that

- okay NEXT

- this is the one that hits different

- gets you in your FEELS

- DAMN

- we all know peter's a gamerboy

- so he's just chilling playing minecraft on the xbox or something

- what a fuckin nerd

- jk minecraft slaps so hard

- anyways

- as per usual, you set up the camera and start filming

- and you

- i think you know what i'm talkin about

- you slip underneath his arms

- and start crawling into his lap

- and the SECOND he registers what's going on he fucking YEETS the controller behind him and wraps his arms around you

- and when i say yeets

- i mean like

- ZOOM

- you bury your arm in the crook of his neck and you feel him physically relax under you (heartbeat racing though of course) and hold you tighter, planting gentle kisses along your neck and shoulder

- ..

- god FUCK talk about B U T T E R F L I E S

- y'all are going to HATE ME for this one

- prepare yourselves

- so you guys are just chilling in peters room as y'all normally do

- and peter goes to the bathroom

- and like stupid adorable fuck he is

- mans left his phone on silly goose

- and of course

- we all know you can't help yourself

- so like a NORMAL HUMAN BEING

- you decide to snatch it and go look at his tiktok drafts, god knows why

- and the first one you tap

- WHEW CHILE

- your jaw drops to the floor as soon as you read the text on the video

"so apparently when a guy's chain dangles it's attractive..?"

- heart skips a beat

- hands are sweaty

- knees spaghetti

- you look up to make sure the bathroom door is still shut before you whip out your phone and start videoing

- peter is looking nervously cute into the camera before he leans out of shot,

- you know what's next

- and right as the beat drops

- he shows up, SHIRTLESS, with his cross necklace (you've only seen him wear once lmao) dangling down

- not to mention the goddamn CURLS hanging down

- and your heartbeat quickens

- ... both heartbeats...

- then fucking PETER JUST STROLLS INTO THE ROOM

- ALL INNOCENT N SHIT AS IF HE DIDN'T HAVE A VIDEO ON HIS PHONE THAT LITERALLY MADE YOU READY TO RISK IT ALL

- "why do you have my phone?"

- you've never slammed it onto the bed so fast

- "no reason"

- he raises a suspicious eyebrow before picking up his phone and unlocking it

- and the fear in his eyes when the screen opens to his video

- he looks back up at you, mouth slightly open in fear/awe/ohshitohgodohFUCK

- and you and your goddamn mouth-

- "peter, it's hot"

- and oh how the look in his eyes changed

😈

+ + +

until next time <3

[obeyme-babe]

hello! i was wondering if i could have a matchup? i’m fine with it being w either the brothers or undatables,, also romantic and im comfortable w nsfw. i’m a 5”1 brown girl who’s zodiac is a cancer. i have long black hair w bangs ( i dyed my hair red for that e-girl aesthetic like the clown i am ) and i have brown eyes, i also got dimples whenever i smile. i’m a bit busty but i’m not insecure abt it cause it’s my body but i still gotta stick w baggy shirts for comfort. i enjoy taking naps whenever i can sneak one in while listening to krnb or lofi music,, i’m also a cat lover and a food enthusiast so you’ll find me with a bunch of snacks whenever. people think i have a stoner personality since i’m just very chill w things bc if you’re gonna do smth just for the adrenaline of it: just do it! i’m also well known to being prone on trying things that others might avoid because it’s clearly dangerous, it will never stop me lol. i play volleyball for fun ( so i got em thicc thighs lol ) but that’s the only sport i do, i like playing on my nintendo switch whenever i can and usually play otome games! ngl im an anime fan so i do watch and read animes/mangas. i also just love to holds hands w my friends at least or hug them from them behind if they let me bc sometimes i just want affection but not excessive amount that it will overwhelm me lmao. idk why i decided to add this but whenever i’m hyped, excited, or flustered i start patting someone’s head or shoulder. thank you in advance! 💕

I match you with: Mammon!

Mammon thinks your personality is The Best. You agree to go do some crazy stupid idea with him at 3am? Hell yea he’s gonna wanna keep you around. I get the feeling that he’d want to be joined at your hip, never wanting to leave your side because, let’s face it, boy can get jealous pretty damn easily, but he’s a lowkey bitch about it. Would become whiny and clingy when you deliberately ignore him, and would want to be compensated for his pain via nap cuddles or head scratches (also, when y’all cuddle, I just Know that Mammon would want to lay with his head between your thighs while he watches a movie or something, dudes slick ngl). Finds your interests new and exciting and would demand that you rewatch your favorite anime with him just so he could understand the hype you put around it. I also get the feeling that he’d somehow manage to rope you into getting into Beel’s food whenever he gets that mischievous glint in his eyes. Boy would probably go as far as to hide the little “Beel’s food; do not eat, or else you’ll die” notes before you can even see them. Needless to say, the pair of you become a duo of chaos, especially when Lucifer isn’t present.

Other contender(s): Asmodeus, Solomon

[hayleysstark]

You don’t think Merlin is a good person? I have always thought he was fantastic. He has always done what is best for everyone which often causes great harm to himself. He has never been malicious or taken joy in any of the terrible things he’s has to do in the name of destiny. In the name of Arthur. I’m very curious as to why you think that. Could you possibly elaborate? I’m not saying your opinion is wrong, I’m just wondering.

Oh, no, I do not think Merlin is a good person!!! not at all!! and I do not think Merlin is a hero!!! don’t misunderstand me, because God knows you do make a truly wonderful point here, that Merlin has made many sacrifices, he has buried every last one of his own dreams, and all to protect his friends, and I would never, ever try and ignore or disregard that outright. I don’t think Merlin is a good person, but I certainly don’t think he’s selfish, either. He’s usually the first one to put himself last in every circumstance, and I would absolutely never say Merlin is a selfish man. For all his faults - and we all know he has a straight-up surplus of those - his friends are always his number-one priority, top of his list.

But it doesn’t really cancel out all the rest.

You say he feels badly for the terrible things he’s done. Good. He should feel badly. He should lose sleep over all the horrible choices he’s made. He should remember all the innocent people who lost their lives at his hand. He should know he is not a good person. If you do something wrong, and you feel bad about it, your guilt does not negate the wrong thing you did. Guilt is not a get-out-of-jail-free card. It’s literally basic human decency to feel bad if you hurt people. So, yeah, Merlin should feel bad. It should hurt him, to do the things he does.

I’m not going to go into a super-long and detailed thesis about this, because A. I’m seriously not trying to rip up such a cherished and beloved character and B. i legitimately don’t think actual humans are going to read this when i’m done because, point A, i am, essentially, ripping up a cherished and beloved character.

And Merlin definitely has some flaws I’m not going to touch on - i.e. he’s impulsive, he’s melodramatic, he’s oversensitive, he’s childish, he’s whiny, he’s self-pitying - mainly because those flaws fade as he grows and matures and also, are largely played up for humor in the series anyways (can you honestly think of a single episode before S3 where Merlin didn’t take at least ten minutes out of his day to bitch to Gaius about how hard his not-very-hard life was??). But I’ll tackle as much of the serious stuff as I can before I inevitably just spiral into repeatedly calling him a Terrible Bastard Man lmao.

Merlin has shown, hundreds upon hundreds of times over the series, that he will stop at absolutely nothing to get what he wants, to get where he wants, and he takes full and often brutal advantage of everybody around him to further his own agenda. Remember in The Wicked Day how he straight-up refused to heal Uther until Arthur promised to bring magic back if he did?? yeah. same here. And we can’t forget the way he literally took away Arthur’s free will in The Sword in the Stone, can we? or when he deliberately sabotaged Arthur’s second chance at love and happiness in The Hunter’s Heart because Mithian had committed the cardinal sin of not being Gwen???

Even if you can overlook all that really blatant manipulation Merlin puts his friends through on a regular basis, he also tries to kill Mordred in The Witch’s Quickening ((okay, he actually just tries to make sure the attacking knights find Mordred, but same difference, really)). And do I even need to talk about how he tried to poison Morgana in The Fires of Idirsholas? no, i’m serious, do i even need to talk about that??? a billion other people have already discussed it, so you know what, fuck it, but the takeaway is, it was a terrible thing to do, even if Camelot did hang in the balance at the time. ((no, he does not get a pass for trying to save the kingdom. he’s a bastard. you can’t change my mind.))

oh, he also sets Kilgharrah free in The Fires of Idirsholas, too, which brings his Bastard Points up to a two for that episode--wait, no, it’s a three, he gets a Bastard Point just for existing i think. a n y w a y s

And he murders Agravaine in The Sword in The Stone. Doesn’t sound too horrific on its own, we all know the story, Agravaine is the traitor in the court, and Merlin does what he has to do to eliminate the threat, but, wait, he doesn’t. Does he? Merlin doesn’t have to kill Agravaine, because Agravaine literally presents no real threat to Merlin. God knows Merlin could keep him alive, God knows he could just truss the asshole up like a goddamned Christmas morning turkey if he wanted to, but that’s the thing - he doesn’t want to. Because what if Agravaine escaped, and made it back to Morgana? He knows about Merlin’s magic now, and Merlin can’t let him live with that knowledge.

Merlin does not strike back at Agravaine in self-defense.

Merlin murders Agravaine to save his own lying skin.

so. yeah!! Merlin is ruthless !!! Merlin will turn literally anyone he lays eyes on into a pawn in his game to fulfill destiny. everybody is just a piece he can move around the board, and it’s not good. it’s not okay. yes, Merlin values his friends, Merlin would do absolutely anything for friends, but he doesn’t hesitate to use them, either. Yes, most of the time, he truly believes he’s doing what’s best for them, but that is not his decision to make.

I’m not trying to say Merlin is unforgivable or irredeemable. I’m not trying to say you shouldn’t like Merlin ((obviously, I’m not trying to say that, I love one (1) Merlin Emrys with my whole-ass heart, he’s kind of the reason i didn’t off myself once upon a teenage depression, so)) and I’m not trying to say you should change your entire opinion on Merlin to fit mine!! if you still think Merlin is a good person, don’t let me stop you!!! now, if you need me, i’ll be showering a Tall, Dark and Bitchy Bastard in a little more love ~

[wndmxmffs]

From Insanity to Humanity // Prologue

Summary: HYDRA agent Lyra Lennox has one mission in life, to achieve more, to do bigger and better each time around. This mission is not as noble as it may sound. All Lyra wants, or more so, needs out of life is to leave a legacy, to be written about in history books and taught about in schools. Whether this is as a hero or villain is not something she particularly cares about. Lyra has got blood on her hands, blood of hundreds of people. Who they were? Why they’re gone? Again, not something she cares about. Her priorities lay with herself and herself only- after all she is the reason why the world keeps spinning and why the sun keeps rising. Her twisted view on reality could endanger the whole world’s safety. Life to Lyra is a game of chess and the people she encounters are merely pieces to help her win. Her opponent? Anyone and anything in her way. And all those who think they have control over her? They will learn how wrong they were over time. She plays people. She is cold. She has a mission. The only ones able to stop her from doing something to fatally jeopardize a mission are the ones preserving Earth’s safety, The Avengers. Will they be able to bring out the humanity buried deep inside?

Word Count: 1.6K+

Warning: get ready for a pretty dark fic babies lol. mentions of child abuse, mentions of murder, being captured, mentions of starvation, blood, also some cursing but that really doesn’t matter here lmao

A/N: okay so this is that series i was talking about. i’m soso excited about how it’s going to turn out and i just really hope that you guys will enjoy it. i know that Lyra might not seem the most likable character ever but i have so much planned out for her so stay tuned my loves. big shouout to my girl @microwaveddrabbles for writing the summary, for being an amazing proof-reader and for being here for me throughout the whole process, giving me ideas and encouraging my own ones. i love you so much baby, you deserve the world! happy reading babies! xx

The ice-cold, concrete floor of her cell wasn’t the most comfortable place for a good night’s sleep by any means, but wasn’t the worst either. She had slept on much cooler and much harder surfaces, causing her back to ache and creating overall frustration. That was one of her weaknesses- she could get very angry in a very short time. Every time something didn’t work out as she had planned, she got frustrated, furious even, which she wanted to let out as soon as possible. So, Lyra visited the nearby woods to scream until she found the relief she sought, leaving the bodies of dead birds and deer behind, making everyone who was nearby, deaf.

Her cries could tear the organs of people and animals to pieces, causing immediate death. This, however, wasn’t the deadliest thing about her- she read and analysed people all the time, digging up their most well-kept secrets by making her way into their minds carefully. She pictures their minds as though they were the hallways of a museum where she could roam around freely, with no interruption nor distraction. Most of the time, her victims weren’t aware of her actions, their unknowingness enabling her to do as she pleased. Lyra was well aware of her abilities and was never afraid to use them for her own gain, and her own gain only. Everything she did and everything she had ever done, was for her own satisfaction. She never thought about anyone or anything else. She had been left alone, to be raised by evil itself and Lyra learned the most important lesson at a very young age, ‘never trust anyone but yourself.’ This made her view on the world somewhat deranged, altering reality in all sorts of twisted ways. To Lyra, however, it didn’t matter, because she was successful, her name was known among her people and more importantly- she was feared.

Lyra was woken up by the piercing light coming in from the corridor outside, letting her know that the guard was here with yet another plate of bland food she was not going to eat. This time, it wasn’t just the guard- she had a visitor as well. She slowly pushed herself up in the corner of the miniature cell when she heard light footsteps approaching and the husky voice of a man standing by the closed door. She rubbed her eyes before lifting her head up to look at him and she couldn’t help but chuckle when she recognised Nick Fury himself.

“Aren’t you getting bored of this outfit?”, she whispered in a croaky voice. The result of refusing to talk for a whole week.

Fury slowly tucked his hands in his pockets, looking at the bony girl lying in the dusty cell. She was the complete opposite of what she looked like when they captured her- Lennox had been fiery and fierce back then; kicking, punching and even biting his agents causing them to almost lose her. And now, after what was almost a week, she appeared broken and on the verge of giving up. Fury was certain she would go as far as trying to kill herself had she been given the chance.

He turned his head towards the plates filled with untouched food, completely ignoring Lyra’s snarky comment. He looked at the guard standing on his left and asked him what that was.

“She refuses to eat, Sir. Probably trying to starve herself to death”, the guard replied, while Fury glanced at the girl who had a small smile on her face framed by her messy, dirty, brown hair. He decided to get closer to her and pulled his hands out of his pockets as they were beginning to sweat.

“If you think that we only want to keep you alive so we can torture you, you’re dead wrong. Just go ahead and eat, you already look like a sack of bones, girl”, he stated, earning an unimpressed look from Lyra, who had gotten used to the feeling of hunger since HYDRA had never been famous for its excellent cuisine.

“Your concern truly melts my heart but I’m good, Mr Fury”, the girl answered in a monotonous tone and Fury knew they had broken her. What he did not know was just how great of an actor Lyra Lennox was. It was just another show for her and she was enjoying her role. After all, she’s leading ‘the’ Nick Fury on.

Fury told the guard to get rid of the food and added that he wanted to talk to Miss Lennox alone. The guard gave a quick nod and left, closing the door once again, leaving the two of them alone. Lyra flashed a fake smile at the boss of S.H.I.E.L.D. who didn’t return the gesture. He furrowed his brows instead and looked deep into those piercing green eyes, trying to see through this girl who barely had close to no humanity in her. No one is born like this, Nick was very aware of that fact. He also knew HYDRA’s ways of breaking their agents, turning them into weapons but he had never met someone quite like her.

“How did you get here, girl?”, he asked, folding his arms against his chest, not taking his eyes away from her tired and tortured face. She wanted to stay in control and keep herself collected desperately, but even the toughest ones give up when locked away in a cell with barely any light and no sense of time.

Lyra leaned her head back against the dirty wall, thinking about everything she’d gone through in her still rather short life, which could come to an end any moment now. She was not going to give away everything about herself- she was well aware they could, and probably would, use it against her and she couldn’t put herself at such risk. She had to be in control and being an open book to her enemies wasn’t going to help her achieve that.

After a minute of silence and contemplating, she looked at Nick Fury again and started talking slowly.

“You know, it really does suck when your parents are two crazy Russians who think it’s a good idea to experiment on their infant child in an abandoned lab”, she started, looking deep into Fury’s brown eyes, not breaking the contact for even a second. “That’s how I got my powers. Or so the legend says. As a kid, it was hell learning how to control them instead of letting them take control of me. My father wasn’t that bad of a parent, you know. He spent all his time with me, taking care of me and playing with me. Dealing with my whiny self. People hated them for what they did, but he was innocent. He was brainwashed by HYDRA and they played some mind games on him during the experiments. But my mother. Oh man”, she paused there as she remembered and let out a light chuckle, shaking her head, “she was one fucking crazy bitch. She was even more of a control freak than I am. She was in charge of my training and she was the cruellest teacher you can imagine. Then, one day, she got on my nerves and I made her deaf. The end.”

Fury listened to the story with no expression on his face and he was waiting for the girl to continue, but she clearly wasn’t going to. Lyra looked around in the cell again, then her glance returned to the man and she opened her mouth once again.

“Also, why put me in a cell? You’re aware that I can make your skull explode with my mind, right?”, she questioned, earning a sarcastic smile from Fury.

“I am. But are you aware of that little device in your neck? Stops you from doing anything stupid or something you’d regret.”

“I have no regrets and you’re a fool if you think I regret anything”, she replied, spitting the words out through her teeth, growing tired of S.H.I.E.L.D.’s shitshow. For the first time this week, she felt the irresistible urge to use her powers. It had been lurking in the back of her mind all this time, but she had ignored it. She thought that if she would behave well, they would let her go sooner. That’s clearly not what happened, and the realisation hit her hard. Lyra was a caged animal at the mercy of S.H.I.E.L.D. and the idea of that had started to make her go crazy just again.

Her pupils widened as she looked around the cell over and over again, feeling like the walls were getting closer and closer to her, feeling like she would die while being captured by a fool with an eyepatch. Lyra couldn’t let that happen- she always had to be in control, otherwise all hell would break loose and she would die like all those other people with their names completely forgotten. She turned her head towards Nick and slowly pushed herself up to stand on her two feet covered in bruises and scars. Lyra was dizzy and hungry but she didn’t care about all the physical pain, she wanted to break free and she would do anything for that. She wanted to gain control all the while losing control over herself.

“How do I know it’s not some kind of trick?”, she whispered, very much reminding Fury of a snake. He kept himself collected and cool; he’d seen much worse stuff and a crazy witch in a cell was nothing new. He never would have thought that Lyra would be able to go ahead and tear the little device out of her neck with one simple movement of her hand. Fury’s eyes widened when he saw the blood, dripping down the girl’s neck slowly and the bloody chip in hand. She didn’t cry. Lyra simply stared at her in blood covered hands and gave Nick an empty look before she collapsed into his arms, whispering something in Russian that the man couldn’t understand.

Please, leave some feedback and let me know if you want to be on the taglist for the series! 

[bitchryver]

"and also that nesryn faliq is one of the funniest characters in the whole series"- FINALLY someone else who appreciates Nesryn! She is so under rated by tog fans

nesryn faliqs greatest hits include:

being able take on an assassin single handed

telling a man, who literally only asked a girl to take her hood off, that she was gonna go tell his wife that he was fucking moron pervert

willing to defend and protect said girl despite literally trying to kill her 24 hours earlier

using her wealth and privilege to get into the overwhelmingly male guard in a racist colonising city to help victims of adarlan and protect immigrant families like hers

chaol: fuck off and die aelin everything is your faultaelin: if i die im absolutely going to haunt you stupid bitch lmao i cant fucking stand younesryn: not to be,,,,,you know,,,,focusing on the TASK AT HAND or anything but theres a guy about to die here?

a wealthy handsome prince is like “I’m in love with you and I want to marry you” and ms faliq is like……could you let me think about it 

on that point, when sartaq says he would take all day and nesryns first response is UH I GOTTA WRITE A LETTER HANG ON

going out to get drunk with the woman her commanding officer used to fuck and currently hates because she thinks he’s being a whiny bitch 

when sartaq and the rukh riders are like “GASP you’re neiths arrow you’re a legend” and nesryns like……. i thought everyone could shoot bullseyes from 12 miles away…. is that not…. a thing….

shooting bullseyes in front of a legion of trained warriors like its not shit and not noticing that they all fall in love with her 

in tower of dawn when the narrative is chaols “aelin is an unholy godless being who uses her uncontrollable power for EVIL and must be contained” and yrenes “that mysterious dangerous stranger who saved me and nearly killed me……..that violent strange young girl….” nesryn faliq sat on a mountaintop in antica and just went “ aelins rlly gna get her dumb  ass murdered someday lmao love that bitch”

when aelins on the warpath after rowan gets injured n QoS and nesryn isn’t fazed and just follows behind her paying the staff like….yes this is my friend aelin…..yes she will kill you shes not kidding…..no shes not really that scary shes a good egg if you.squint a bit…

responding to aelin saying shes with chaol like 

chaol: when i broke things off nesryn wasn’t phased,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,and when i met her again she seemed not to mind that I had,,,,,,left her

nesryn, sipping iced tea: hey…….kale wasn’t it?

no fuss no mess no feelings, just bounced on a man that didnt respect her 

loving her family unconditionally and taking great pride in both countries she feels are home and working to make them better for their citizens

nesryn holding aelins hand when lysandra gets taken in QoS, nesryn bringing rowan clothes despite the fact that chaol her commanding officer doesnt want them to have anything to do with her

find out the Valg exists and gets straight to killing them no room 4 talk kiss this arrow

when aelins like “your a SHIT spy you fucking asshole” and nesryns like “sick well this shit spy has an ARROW pointed at your torso and really wants to let it fly start running bitch”

nesryn questioning authority and actually listening to aelins opinion instead of assuming chaols way is the best way 

actually genuinely caring about the people of adarlan despite the racism and intolerance she faced

actively and continuously  working to help those in need, actually caring about them from a genuine goodness in her soul and not because she wants to make herself feel like a hero and pretend she wasn’t complicit for years :) unlike :) others :) 

being an incredibly loving, thoughtful, joyful character all while having an incredibly reserved and stoic personality and seamlessly combining the two 

nesryn faliq is everything yall want in a character, she’s intelligent, kind, she’s skilful, she holds aelin accountable which is what yall foam at the mouth for, she’s an incredible backstory and her journey throughout a racist country as a woman of colour and her reconnecting with her fathers homeplace is beautiful? she’s independent and has no time for overly romantic displays of affection, which is when yall should be chiming in w ur “yasss my cold queen” or w/ever like u do with manon and nesta

and yet  i cant be 5 minutes on goodreads or on the nesryn tag on this very website without some Scholars either 1) pretending she straight up doesn’t exist 2) ignoring the fact that her journey and character are more than the white man who treated her badly and subsuming her role in the story to just chaols romantic interest 3) saying nesryn is problematic for leaving chaol in antica to do her fucking job 4) calling her boring like you don’t have a blog dedicated to the two flakiest pieces of white bread in the gd books 

derailed this totally lmao sorry you were being so nice ! so basically id die for nesryn faliq i agree :)

[bisexualescapism]

15 questions 15 mutals

Thanks @kamekamelea for tagging me!

Are you named after someone?

nope. when I was choosing a name I made sure I didn’t know anyone named Noah

When was the last time you cried?

last night lmao

Do you have kids?

nope and if that does ever happen that’s a long way off

Do you use sarcasm a lot?

yes. Most of the time people aren’t sure whether or not I’m being sarcastic

What’s the first thing you notice about people?

probably their eyes or hair.

Eye color?

brown

Scary movie or happy ending?

happy ending. sorry but fuck scary movies

Any special talents?

uh singing but its not really special and i am hella good at memorising shit

What are your hobbies?

Writing, reading and netflix

Do you have any pets?

yea i have a cat who is an arrogant whiny bitch I love him

How tall are you?

5’8 haha I’m so short

What sports do you play/have played?

I played field hockey and softball (yes i know)

Favourite subject?

uhhhh all of them are shit :)

Dream job?

Writer

I tag: @darkrosemind @amysantiagoisfone

@detectivejacob @eleanorperaltiago @sandylovesfandoms @mps-103jt @sergeantperaltiago @aleiamae @jello-is-bae @linouttti

(If you have already done it or don’t want to, just ignore this)

[getosbitch]

Dating Alex Standall would include...

REQUESTED BY:

Anonymous: hi, I really liked your ‘dating zach would include’ thing and I was wondering if you can do something similiar with alex :)💗

-

-

- Alex was murmuring some sort of internet-meme joke when Justin made a fool of himself in class, and no one heard it except you, which was why you bursted out laughing – causing everyone to look at you oddly.

- Alex thought this was cute though, since not many people understand his humour, sarcastic and sassy.

- One day during class, he gets picked on for a maths question, to save his embarrassment of not knowing the question, you answer it for him, so he waits outside after class for you to finish asking the teacher a homework question just to say thanks for saving his ass.

“ You really saved my life in there, me and math are clearly not a match made in heaven.”

- You offering to tutor him but he turns it down bc poor Alex is too awkward at first.

- He finally gives in, and your friendship blossoms from there.

- AWKWARD ALEX TRYING TO PRETEND LIKE HE KNOWS WHAT HE’S DOING BUT YOU KNOW HIM WELL ENOUGH AND ALWAYS HELP WITH WHATEVER IT IS HE’S STRUGGLING WITH.

- You catch him staring at you in class and he plays it off by ‘dropping’ his pen on the floor or faking a massive cough fit. (This is how I personally deal with awkward situations LMAO)

- Everyone being suspicious on how he was acting towards you.

“I have to cancel our study session today, I’ve got a date – well hopefully I do.”

“Who’s the lucky girl, Standall?”

“I was actually hoping it’d be you…” FKN SWEETHEART I CAN IMAGINE HIM SAYING THIS AND PLAYING WITH HIS JACKET SLEEVE AND STARING ON THE GROUND IT’S SO CUTE

- Sending each other SO MANY memes. And I mean SPAMMING LEVEL.

- Poor Alex getting teased so much when you guys became official. Mainly because the boys were not used to Alex talking to girls.

- A lot of the guys try to flirt with you to piss Alex off for fun, but their tactics don’t work on you – bc Alex is an angel and you’re so grateful to be his girlfriend.

“They’re idiots, don’t worry about them,” he says, before putting his arm around your shoulder and walking away.

- Alex needs to vent A LOT, because he keeps a lot of his emotions inside, and being the kind hearted person that you are, you’re always there to listen.

- When either of you are sad, it’s an automatic call for a cuddle session, usually on the couch, usually with pizza delivery and usually with a massive fluffy blanket.

“Wow you seem like you love that blanket more than me. Why are you snuggling it and leaving ME, it feels like the north pole over here!”

- *The type of person that says horror movies don’t scare them but starts shaking 10 minutes in.*

- HE EATS AND PRETENDS TO LEAN IN FOR A KISS, ONLY TO BLOW HIS FOOD BREATH AT YOUR FACE

- You being the first person to ever see him cry, and the sight of him in such despair broke you heart.

- However, even though it’s you, he still has trouble with confiding his thoughts with you. Especially when he thought that you’d be sick and tired of what he thought, was a whiny attitude.

- You and Alex would never have fights, unless it was about him keeping things from you; him not wanting you to be upset or think badly of him, or leave him for his insecurities.

- You’d have to reinforce it to him SO MANY times, but don’t worry, he’s improving.

- You guys pull strengths from each other – in other words, he completes you and you make him feel the same. Alex doesn’t really have anyone to rely on, to trust, to love, but that changed when he met you. But this also means that he is extremely scared of losing you.

“I love you, you know that right?”

“Yes Alex, and I love you too!”

“Please don’t ever leave me, I know I’m not perfe-”

“ALEX STANDALL. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE WE TALKED ABOUT THIS, I LOVE YOU”

- ALWAYS asking for your opinion about EVERYTHING. Clothes. Studying. Life. Name it.

- He’s always texting you in the middle of class whenever you guys have different subjects, 99.8% of the time it’s bitching about how boring school is, or how annoying everyone is or that he’s counting down the minutes until he gets to see you.

- SARCASM ON SARCASM ON SARCASM. THIS BOY’S MIDDLE NAME MIGHT AS WELL BEEN SARCASM.

- You getting slightly scraped when you fell to the ground trying to separate his fight with Montgomery in the carpark.

- When he saw the cut on your elbow, he could have thrown Mr Porter into Montgomery’s Jeep and try to beat the shit out of Monte but he didn’t want to leave you hurt and by yourself.

- As much as you love Alex, he is incredibly stubborn and will refuse to believe that he is ever wrong, until you start ignoring him and that’s when it finally makes sense to him.

- Forehead kisses bc even though you’ve been dating for a while, the bOY IS STILL AWKWARD AF SOMETIMES so he just goes for the forehead, he finds it affectionate and adorable. (Plus he wants to smell your hair bc it’s always a nice flowery scent)- weird but very true

- Resting his head on your shoulder, or lying on your lap, explaining to you his dilemma of dorky things.

“ I don’t know whether I should read the Harry Potter series again, or watch the movies AND THEN read the books!” He says frustratedly.

“Why should it matter, goodness you’re such a geek!”

“I’m a cute one though.”

“I’d have to agree on that.”

————————————

FEEL FREE TO REQUEST ME ABOUT ANYTHING: I can do any character in 13 Reasons Why!

Note: Yes, the main message of 13 Reasons Why was to raise awareness for mental illness, peer pressure, rape and suicide, and how it can affect the lives of not only the victim, but those around them. 

If you ever need to talk, feel free to message me, or if not, talk to someone – an adult/parents/friends. :)

[slimegalaxies]

So one day I received a message on Instagram asking about the prices of my slime. Now I’m already going to stop right here and say that there were two red flags here I probably shouldn’t have ignored. One, the person wasn’t even following me. Now usually I’d be fine with that, but it was also coupled with the fact that my etsy link is IN MY BIO. If you want to know my prices, you can literally design your own slime and see how much it’ll be. Now, I made the biggest mistake that I urge you all not to do. In fact, just about every action was a huge mistake and I insist that if any of you are ever in this situation, you don’t deal with it the way I did. I gave what I THOUGHT the price was. Didn’t look it up, in part because this brat would spam me with whiny messages if I was gone for more than 10 seconds. I WAY underpriced my slime, and I couldn’t just go back on what I said the price was. Plus, it was 1.5 ounces more than usual. So not only was it at LEAST a dollar under my normal price for a 4 oz container of that slime, it was waaaaay underpriced for the size it actually turned out being. And here’s where I should’ve stopped altogether and not sold them anything. (Again, desperate for money.) I decided to be nice and just accept that I had screwed myself out of money, and I made them a custom etsy listing. Well they sent me messages and tried to scam me in the most ridiculous and unintelligent way possible; telling me they had already paid for it and asking when it’d be shipped. (In two different messages.) Like man, you know I can SEE when you order something, right????? I pointed out in a quite overly sweet and borderline passive aggressive way that I hadn’t gotten anything saying the order was paid for, and that it wouldn’t be shipped until I did. At that point they backtracked and insisted they had meant to send that first message to their cousin. (Yeah, sure. At this point I very highly doubt that cousin even exists.) They supposedly then went to go ask for money, and then came back saying they couldn’t buy it because they’re poor and asking if I could send it for free. Bitch I’m poor too that’s why I don’t just give slime away. I said at the most I could possibly send a very small slime (mistake 2). They then ended up saying their “cousin” wanted to buy the slime they’d asked for in the first place. Which I’d already made, so that’s fi- … but in white. So I ended up having to make more. Plus buy more clay to make it with since I didn’t have white. Now another thing to note. They asked for a picture CONSTANTLY. Every slime I made, they wanted a picture of- in the container, out of the container, even pictures of all my containers themselves. They kept asking if I had certain containers in different sizes- like man I just sent you pictures of all my containers obviously not. Plus you don’t get to be choosey when it comes to containers. (Especially when I don’t have them???) My slime, I package it the way I want. It’s a 5.5 oz thing of slime for like 2/3 of the price it should be, why the hell are you complaining. Anyway, they also CONSTANTLY asked about EVERYTHING. Like if you have questions that’s fine, but they were already on my nerves and just infuriating me. Every 5 seconds: Hey, what do you use to make sure the slime doesn’t arrive sticky? (Nothing??? That’s literally impossible it’s hot as heck out it’s gonna get sticky no matter what you do. Unless you overactivate it at first but that’s a risk I am not willing to take.) Where do you get your containers? What do you include in your orders? (They asked that at least twice, possibly three times) What does your note say? What candy do you include? (Like man it’s supposed to be a cute surprise stop) How do you make butter slime? It stressed me out more than anything else id ever encountered. Oh, and like I mentioned, if I was gone for more than like 10 seconds I’d get bombarded with messages. “Are you done with the slime yet?” “?” “Slimegalaxies” “??” LIKE NO I’M NOT AND I’M NOT RESPONDING BECSUSE MY HANDS ARE COVERED IN GLUE

I included an extra slime out of the goodness of my heart (mistake 3) They then asked if I could include two free slimes Oh but wait! Actually can you just send samples of every slime you have? I’m poor and I’ve never had slime before

Quit it with the “I’m poor” bullshit. So am i. That’s why I’m selling slime. SELLING. IT. NOT GIVING IT AWAY.

I said no to that one and they decided to be a picky little shit and make me change the type of extra slime to send. I did it (mistake 4)

When I was finally done, they asked about the candy, then literally asked if I could send a bag of cheetos. Kid I’m not your damn parent go ask them.

Obviously I said no. So I finally got it all together, they asked for pictures of the package and even asked if I could include something else that I don’t remember rn because I’m sleepy

Finally sent it, thought my hell was over with. Well apparently once they received it, they added too much activator at once to the fishbowl slime. And some of you probably know what happens then. It falls apart. Honestly, good lmao

They also told me it’s expensive for a “lil slime” Bitch???? That’s literally 2/3 of what the price should be???? I need to actually make money here???? Plus 5.5 oz is not “lil”

So I finally thought that was done. Then just a few days ago I get a message that they somehow broke the 5.5 oz container. Just straight up told them to go get Tupperware or a sandwich bag, which they conveniently didn’t have because “I’m pooooooor!!!!!!!!” I think they just wanted a free container. Also I trusted them even less because it was now obvious the cousin didn’t exist because they had the slime.

And there’s the story of the word thing ever

[catharticdaydream]

My Best Friend's Reactions to 2x10

-who's that? *i explain madzie* I love her already -"I need to protect him" okay bitch because he's a vampire he can't protect himself? -jace is so pouty. Why are you so pouty? -wAit she's on drugs tho! Isn't she? -ayyyyy grey representation -later? It's like midnight! -'I'm gettin high with ma grey ace buddy dude' -SHADY -"it's ok she's with Magnus" PSSSHHH YOU THINK THATS GONNA STOP HER THATS CLASSIC 'LEAVE HER WITH THIS GUY AND SHES NOT GONNA RUN AWAY' AND THEN SHE RUNS AWAY -*about alec* sassy sassy -YES SIMON CALL HIM OUT -her: 'can you tun the brightness up?' ' Me: 'It's all the way up magnus' loft just doesn't have any fuckin lights' -Her: "he's a vamp he can't die like that!" Me: "If you drain him of blood you can." Her: *is shook* -sexual moans! OH WAIT NO NO NO SIMON JUST GOT HIS THROAT CUT IM SO SORRY -valentine is like that creepy old man that goes up to a seven year old and is like "I'm ur daddy now" -SPEEDY SPEED -"I have to get to Alec! Ah I'm so whiny! He has to be okay! But when I found out he was gay ignored him! He's so dramatic." -THEY JUST HIT A GUY -"is that Luke?" "Yea" "daddy!" -uh oh is she dying because she's not high enough? -SHE FOUND THE SHADY SHADE -uh oh! Uh oh! The vamps! -WHERE DID THEY COME FROM -A GAME? WHAT? This girl can suck the oxygen out of the room and you're gonna tell her that the man bleeding out in the corner is a GAME??? -*aldertrees story* Tragic Backstory™ time -"that's when I realized a shadowhunter could never be with a downworlder" that seems highly unlikely. If you just brought another werewolf this all could have been resolved. But no. You just killed the girl. -"you chose clary over us." He's like,,,,her dad. -"do you really believe that?" Do you really believe that you're a bitch? -*clary is actually Jace* oh shit. OH SHIT. -ah. The flickering light cliche. A staple. -"I'm just like you madzie" *breaks out into song* IM JUST LIKE YOOOOOUUU YOURE JUST LIKE MEEEEEE -YYEEEESSSS SIMON -epic fighting sequence! -"nice moves back there" "thx I've been practicing" good talk bro -ah yes. By screaming 'let go' they will definitely let go. -ahhhh. Dominatrix. -her: well. He's turned on. Me: ALEC??!!?!??? Her: NO THE OTHER GUY. FIRST OF ALL HES GAY AS ANYTHING. SECOND THEYRE SIBLINGS. THIRD OF ALL HES GAY AS HELL. -Simon. Shut up. -ahhhh jace with a death wish -daddy's princess!! -you act like that's gonna make her want to help you like her best friend ISNT a vampire -well don't they all look JOYFUL -*all the downworlders run in* *deep sigh* uh oh spagetti-o -oh ma gooooooddddddd -WAIT HE HAS THE ANGEL BLOOD *under her breath* oh shit -oh yes let me just conveniently wake up after your conversation -automatically blames it on clary lmao -why do people skip when they're rushing? Don't put that in your notes! -"I'm taking (valentine) down" HOW??? you just said yourself he has the sword -and the shitty father of the year award goes to... -"I'm not your father" *fake surprise* WOAH -"clary is not your sister." Yay you can go Fuck now! Congratulations! -"where is the soul sword." "I have no idea." Hm. That seems like bullshit. -"don't believe a word he says" no really I was gonna trust him wholeheartedly -"...my love for you Jace" *laughs* okay -*magnus and Alec hug* GAY -PROPOSE. RIGHT NOW. GO. At least kiss. Give me something. -YES THERE WE GO. -we tend to or wounded. We count out dead. Wondering if this really means freedom. Not yet. -I'm waiting for him to go AHHHH IM ALIVE SORRY GUYS -*simons a daylighter* oh ma god _"what the hell?" Me when I saw my final exams -"Clary's not your sister? What are you gonna do?" Go fuck her. -why do you look like you're about to cry? This is the best news of your life! -stop being so pouty oH MY GOD -is that sebby seb?

[synchronysymphony]

My dear that's too vague, please rant

okay I’m so sorry wow but here it Comes ,, (this is really therapeutic for me LOL so you don’t have to read it bc it’s going to be so long) (also under a read-more bc I don’t want to ruin anyone’s day)

my guy ,, I’m not the type of person to give up easily. I’m persistent, and I really do believe in getting up and trying again, no matter how hard things are. But I feel like I really should give up, because nothing I do seems to do any good, and I’m fucking up everything in my entire life.I adore academia. I always have, even as a little girl when I had to teach myself math, and assign myself grades because being an unschooler can suck for someone who genuinely wants to learn everything, and has no one to ask for help. But I was good at it! I did teach myself math, and history, and literature, and science, and all those things– and I taught them to my younger siblings, too. When I got to high school, I thought things would change, because I fought so hard to get out of homeschooling (not that it’s a bad thing; it just wasn’t right for me), and now I had a chance to learn, and be taught, and do real homework, and it all seemed so perfect.Except, I really struggled! I didn’t have a good background in math and science, so I had to work so much harder than everyone else just to do worse (which, granted, for an AP student isn’t really bad, but I’ve always looked for reasons to hate myself, so this was a good one). And it continued all four years! I loved learning so much, and on the few occasions when I could concentrate long enough to read the textbook, I got really into it and could spend hours just poring away. I took AP chemistry, not because I’m good at science, but because I wanted to learn it, and I was fascinated by the labs. But I didn’t do very well in the end, and that probably really affected my ability to get scholarships. I ended up going to Ohio State my freshman year, 2500 miles away from home, because they gave me more money than anyone else.When I transferred to UCLA for my second year, I thought everything was going to turn around. I was back in California! I was studying at one of the best linguistics programs in the country! Except ,,I still couldn’t study. I still couldn’t concentrate. And I still couldn’t get out of bed or participate in class or go to office hours often. I tried really hard, and I still am, but nothing seems to be working. I had to give up my computer science minor because two weeks into Intermediate Programming, I realized I couldn’t remember how to do functions (which is like ,, really bad lol). I love learning so much, and it’s always been my dream to go into academia and be a professor/researcher and share knowledge with the world, because in my eyes, that’s the noblest thing I could do (me in particular, not “one”). But I can’t fucking cut it in this world. My syntax class is so hard. I failed two quizzes, do you know that? Most of the people in my class really hate it. All they do is complain, and they don’t care about it, and they’re definitely going to forget everything in two months, which is totally fine, and I’m not judging, but I hate myself so much, because I do care, and I do want to learn, but I do so horribly in comparison. 

And then, my future. I love working in the lab with all my heart, but I don’t think I’m going to get a position there for next year. I decided to take a gap year, you know, because grad school is expensive, but now I need to find a job, and I’m so scared that I won’t be able to. My mom thinks I’m a burden already, and I am, and I really do think it would be better if I died, because then she wouldn’t have to pay for me anymore. It’s a bit of a sunk-cost fallacy, though, because I’ve stayed alive for this long, so it seems like I should continue on. But that’s logically not true. I don’t know if I’ll get into any grad schools, and even if I do, I’ll probably just fuck it up and throw away my chance like I did here. I can’t do anything right, not even the things I love. Yeah, if I’d done a different major, I probably would have been fine, because I’m a good writer, and I’m good at analyzing texts and stuff, but gosh, can you imagine the blowback if I’d decided to do literature or political science? It’s bad enough that I’m doing linguistics and cognitive science. I think the only reason people accept it is because they don’t know what it is.And speaking of which, my dream is of course to get a PhD in linguistics (morphological processing, yeah), but my mom wants me to do psychology. Which, okay, I’m interested in everything, and I do love psych, but she wants me to do it at her university, because it’s free. What kind of horrible person would I be to turn that down? It’s another reason to die, because I know I would go completely insane if I had to live in my home (without my siblings) for another six years, but I can’t say no to my mom after everything she’s done for me. I would be good at clinical psych, I know I would. I shouldn’t even complain. Because what am I even looking for, fulfillment? That’s so selfish. I’m probably the most selfish person ever, because here I am, in love with something so economically useless. I can’t pay for my parents’ divorce by drawing bad syntax trees. I don’t know what’s going to happen in my future, but I dread it so much. I never thought I’d be alive this long, and actually, I still don’t think I’ll make it out of college alive sometimes. I have a really detailed plan for when I die, and I could carry it out literally any time, and most days, I feel like I will. But I probably won’t, because I fail at everything else, so I’m definitely going to fail at that, too.

People have always thought I was popular, and still do, and I do act like it because I’m a conventionally attractive valley girl, but I’m so scared of losing everyone around me and doing something bad that would hurt them. It’s happened before – I’m too pretty, and I get too much attention from people of other genders, and that makes the people around me upset. And I’m not even that great anyway. Like, I’m fun to party with, and I’m charming (I think), but I’m not Good. I’ve had so many bad romantic relationships, and some of them are totally not my fault lmao but others must be. I don’t know what I did, but I must have done something. They would never tell me, though, so I don’t know how to fix it. Anyway, I’m also a really bad person. I’m so selfish and lazy, and I don’t do enough for others, and I’m so self-absorbed, and I’m a whiny crybaby who can’t even stand the word “bitch” and I’m just so weak and annoying and gross. I’m too bubbly, and I say motivational things, and I tell everyone to do their best, and it’s so annoying, but I don’t know what else to do, because I tried creating a fake personality before, and it was just weird, and I hated myself even more. I’m scared to lose people, but I’m even more scared to hurt them, so I end up pushing them away, or isolating myself, and I know I’m going to end up all alone. I’m so afraid of getting older. I have panic attacks whenever I think about graduation. I haven’t even ordered my sash and cap yet, because I’m too much of a fucking baby to go online and do it, and now it’s probably too late. I’m missing so many things, and I’m too old to be this young. I’m so immature, you know? And so ignorant, and so inexperienced, and yeah, I want wisdom, but I’m so afraid to grow up and get it. 

I have two papers to write this weekend, and a take-home final, and a final to study for, but I’m struggling so hard, because I just want to die, and it’s hard to think about anything else. I’m stupid, like it’s not even an indictment, I mean intelligence is just a construct anyway, but I hate it. I want to do better, and I can almost do it, but then something happens, and I fall back down again. I can’t do anything right, and I never have, and I never will. I will die as a complete failure and waste and burden on the world.

And I think that’s the worst part. Because above all, above anything else, I want to be good. I want to help, and make the world better, and create some light and beauty where I can. But I’m not, because even my presence, even the smallest breath I take, is an inconvenience at best. At this point, the only good thing I could do would be to die, but even that would have consequences, because then my parents would have to pay for the funeral (I have it planned– I’m going to keep them from knowing that I killed myself, because the shame of having a daughter who committed suicide would upset my mom so much, but funeral costs aren’t cheap). I just keep putting it off, because I’m a loser like that. Right now, I do have a reason, because I need to write the paper for my group project, but once I do that, I can die. My group partner can present it by herself, I’m sure. But knowing me, I probably won’t. So that’s another thing to hate myself for.

I’m sorry for unloading this. I really am. I know you asked, but you don’t deserve to have this dumped on you, and of course, no one else does either. I’ll do something, so don’t worry, but yeah, don’t feel too bad. I’m still going to do my best (at least until Tuesday). 

[howshouldibegin]

SORRY, GOTTA VENT SOME VITRIOL. Feel free to skip and ignore.

I find myself leaning more and more toward the man-hating lesbian stereotype because Jesus God white cishet men are such fucking entitled whiny assholes who seem to never have been told no in their insignificant little lives.

I've had a dude sit directly behind me on the bus (only 9 passengers a bus so there are PLENTY OF SEATS for social distancing ). Also directly in front of me, then gave me a weird look when I scowled at him and moved my own damn self.

A guy at the bookstore bitched about us taking our wheeled baskets off the floor (can't be properly sanitized), then ordered me to stay nearby (which I ignored but circled back). I offered to take some of his pile of books to the checkout, then told him I'd only take some, not all, of his 15+ hardcovers, and he called me a chicken. Will you be paying my physio bills, sir? I'm not throwing my back out again, tyvm.

Dude at the home reno store today was basically tapping his foot at me when I took maybe 30 seconds longer than he wanted to wait, because I was with a lovely older lady before him a couple aisles away. So I thanked him for his "patience" and start helping him with getting the godawful astroturf rolled out and cut. We're not even supposed to have the machine to cut and roll the carpet anymore but they forgot to remove F'ton's when they were moving them all out. Love iiiiiiiiiit. Anyway, lovely older lady comes back to me with a question, so I say to him that I'll be right back, one minute max (bc I already knew he'd be a demanding prick), and he goes, "Well actually, I was here first, and she interrupted!" (Yes, he said "well actually" to me. And dude, what is your problem with a tiny 80yo???) I just smiled at him and said, "Well actually, I was with her first, just before I came back here." He pitched a hissy, naturally, and stomped off to, idk, angrily browse the shit along the back wall? I paged out to see if anyone else in my department could help her out with a price inquiry (that's all it was!!! I just didnt have a scanner on me!!!), thankfully someone could, and I got back to the astroturf. Which then he made me unroll from the 12ft wide roll so the backing shows, to roll it the opposite way on the short side. He wasn't happy with how untidy I rolled it (it went crooked, I wasn't fixing shit for a turdchomper like him), and huffily straightened it out while I wrote up the ticket for him to take to the cashier.

That said, I love the guys in my department. One of the guys is in his 60s and wears a he/him/his pronoun pin! He probably got it last Pride and has been shifting it from apron to apron (they last like 2 months max), and I just adore him. And my supervisor gives no fucks whatsodamnever, to the point that other middle aged white dudes have said to him, "I was just asking...." No, y'all were being a giant bag of pricks and he called you out on it lmao. I just do it with a smile and almost undetectable sarcasm because I was socialized afab, and I truly do believe in killing them with kindness. 🙃

[insanetwocubes]

I’m just mad that he’s not on my side. You know what happens when you’re not on our side.

(I do.)

Lyke I don’t question him on his feelings.

He’s an ignorant stupid little human.

But I want him to be more!

Look, it’s obvious to us that he’s not particularly skilled in these things. But I’m sure he’s willing to learn.

Maybe.... he’s /not/ not on my side.

Flare, sometimes you act like such a princess. Humans can’t speak mindspeak. You have to build up skill to articulate what you mean and how you feel. 

....

Look. I want to keep him.

Whoa don’t go falling in love harder than me X)

Gross, I said I want to keep him, not stoop down to the humans’ level lmao. Fucking whiny-ass bitch.

Okay. I’m going to try to articulate to him that I want him to be on my side. Thanks.

~Flare

No problem.

~Four