#i’m having a kanej breakdown

[ninacarstairss]

thinking about kaz brekker having freddy carter’s camera and having it filled with photos of inej. inej laughing, inej looking at the sky, inej bathed in sunshine, inej sleeping, inej with her knives. just inej

[turtleofdamascus]

SEASON 2 thoughts (spoilers)

When i binged and have lots of thoughts. I might write individual ep takes later. but

OMg lol so before i watched the show i thought I would be getting no soc scenes. ... but i got the opposite ... Idk AHHH I did like the new season a lot. Like I freaked out at all the content for kanej and all the scenes? from soc but altered (prison carriage but with jesper, kanej content, wesper, wylan being a complex character, wylan’s dyslexia revealed, how will you have me, THE BATHROOM SCENE. I feel fed. I also loved things... they ADDED.... like Kaz and NINA ACTING AS A COUPLE. BAHAHA . I can’t with kaz being not into it. That was great and then kaz panicking and inej getting his gloves. WOAH. kinda love it. Love the non-canon stuff they added. That’s pretty intense. LIKE INEJ CARRIED KAZ. Idk... role-reversal AHH. I feel like we don’t get such in moment in the books besides the prison carriage scene. And then kaz just curled up in fear and hugging his cane and INEJ being there. AHH. More this please. More hurt/comfort. Also ah just everything about the way Freddy and amita acted their scenes were perfect. It felt out of the books. It was insane.

ALSO FREDDY’s acting in general! He really got more in the script for him and he put his whole freddyussy into it. The panic attack. The fear. the love in his eyes. the rage. idk the panic attack sequence was so impressive to me. Because i’ve seen him fearful in other shows.. but that scene was terrifyingly good. You could see kaz battling it out to keep his feelings under wraps but he’s falling apart and ahh.  And Jesper yelling to stop the carriage. He cares about Kaz ahhhh and so kind fusjbshwhqh. Idk AHHHH I WANTED THIS SCENE SO BAD AND THEY GAVE IT INT HE FIRST FEW MINS OF THE EPISODE BARK BARK it was like my one wish for the season and it was granted.

But like lol I guess i had a realization... that like ... the soc canon stuff just sort of happened and didn’t reallly have an overarching reason or theme for why these things were happenig. It feels diff from season 1 where it was simple goal of tring to get alina. But this felt like...they were tryign to check off boxes in some ways and the plot was sidelined ... Idk is that too harsh?. Like the backstory of kaz was just...told and idk... I guess idk I was expecting some breakdown or kaz ... being like “I can’t touch” with jesper at least since Jesper witnessed kaz in the carriage...like some outcome of kaz being vulnerable in front of jesper. I guess what i’m trying to say ... it wasn’t as neat as it was in soc? same with kanej. I LOVED the scenes indivdually. But i feel like if i was watching the show from season 1 to season 2 without reading anything... i woudl be confused why kaz and inej are in love. They didn’t really have as much...lead up? or time? LIke ya jesper was in the carriage with kaz and jesper witnessed the pekka rollins scene. i don’t think it’s bad... in fact i love kaz and jesper together and i loved jesper was there to help him there... but like why can’t inej be there tooooo. LOll okay im being so picky here. I loved all teh scenes. AND it’s insane we got to see them. Honestly my love for the crows is honestly overshadowing this thought. I’m so insane for all the scenes with kanej.

lol maybe i wouldn’t have such conflicted opinons if I was told that... it would adapt soc and ck moments... LOL i had this expectation since season 1 from the writers that this was PRE-soc with no soc scenes. I’ve been conditioned to expect no content so it was so crazy when it happened. I shoudlnt’ have prepared myself for no content! I should have been expecting the soc/ck like I did 2 years ago hahah. Oh well.

BUT also... alternate opinion... did the moments in soc itself even have an overarching arc for why the backstory was revealed?? like maybe the source isn’t even like that... lolol.. maybe i hold it in too high regard. like i feel common opinion is that they messed up the soc plotline...cuz of this. but let me think.... like is... really pulling the kanej moments and backstory ... and pulling it out of soc context into sab2 that bad... if you think about it. Like thinking about where those moments were placed in teh ice court plot and ck... the kanej moments like the bathroom scene were more like... little moments of repreive from teh plot. It was something that was separate and could be taken out. Like do those little character revealing moments NEED to be in the ice court context? THey could be in other contexts besides the ice court context if that makes sense. Like when ...is it a good time to reveal that kaz was almost buried in a harbor. It will always come out of the blue lol. Like in some ways... i think it’s okay they’re taking it out of the soc context.

BUt like in terms of....the entire outcome of what they’ll write in season 3/soc season... i feel like the writers set up... a difficult problem lol.LIke what is SOC gonna beeee. LIke soc is about a group of teens that do an ice court heist and excitement is how each one has their backstories that are one by one slowly revealed alongside the heist and you realize they all have their own intentions and things spiral.  Like ... that’s it. like i don’t think it’s bad it’s in the tv show now.. But like... what kind of story wil lbe told in the next season then... like since we know mostly everthing about the characters.

But I actually do have a take that i believe learning kaz’s backstory is early is good thing for story. Kaz is sooo much more of an impactful character to follow when you know where he’s coming from. And why he is the way he is. So much more painful for the reader haha. But like..idk what him beating pekka early will do. I think it will be interesting to explore how he is after revenge... Still grumpy? lost? horny?

Like I know fanfic writers can write fantastic post-ck stuff and top it. But lol can the writers? like.. They kinda took the peak moments that were tucked int between the heist ahhaa. Do the same beats but MORE>. good luck to them. I think... i’m optimistic still because i’m naive. Hmm but There’s still moments to eplxore! (”I would come for you”, kaz carrying inej, Kaz washing himself, ....) hmm maybe there can be more?? They just got a headstart. and i feel the strength of soc is def the characters so they’re given the toys and now they just to write the stories.  But idk... like as evidenced by fanfic... there’s a lot you can still explore and lots of kanej moments you can create that don’t come out of soc/ck. Kaz still has a long way to go! and so does Inej in developing feelings and facing their traumas. And there’s endless scenarios and heists to create just like they did in season 1. But at same time... ahh they lost oppurtunity to straight adapt it. oh well. the price they must pay. LOl watch it not be renewed noooo. oop. Okay at least i got to see all the moments i wanted already.  

Anyways, i love d all the crow moments... but lol in terms of big picture... kind of random? BUT I’m IGNORING THAT. I still absolutely loved it at the same time. LOL wat did i expect from a season 2 of a ya series bloated with 5000 characters.. no they did the best they could. the writers really seem to know what moments the fans love and were like LETS DO IT ALLLNOW> oh i say. LOl and then we fans are like NOOO. Bahah i will be a nice fan and say I love it. bahaha. Even if it was crazy.

[turtleofdamascus]

SEASON 2 thoughts (spoilers)

OMg lol coming back to this opinion I had from a year ago... Lol when I got the opposite of “no soc scenes” ... Idk AHHH I did like the new season a lot. Like I freaked out at all the content for kanej and all the scenes? from soc but altered (prison carriage but with jesper, kanej content, wesper, wylan being a complex character, wylan’s dyslexia revealed, how will you have me, THE BATHROOM SCENE. I feel fed. I also loved things... they ADDED.... like Kaz and NINA ACTING AS A COUPLE. BAHAHA . I can’t with kaz being not into it. That was great and then kaz panicking and inej getting his gloves. WOAH. kinda love it. Love the non-canon stuff they added. That’s pretty intense. LIKE INEJ CARRIED KAZ. Idk... role-reversal AHH. I feel like we don’t get such in moment in the books besides the prison carriage scene. And then kaz just curled up in fear and hugging his cane and INEJ being there. AHH. More this please. More hurt/comfort. 

ALSO FREDDY’s acting in general! He really got more in the script for him and he put his whole freddyussy into it. The panic attack. The fear. the love in his eyes. the rage. idk the panic attack sequence was so impressive to me. Because i’ve seen him fearful in other shows.. but that scene was terrifyingly good. You could see kaz battling it out to keep his feelings under wraps but he’s falling apart and ahh.  And Jesper yelling to stop the carriage. He cares about Kaz ahhhh and so kind fusjbshwhqh. Idk AHHHH I WANTED THIS SCENE SO BAD AND THEY GAVE IT INT HE FIRST FEW MINS OF THE EPISODE BARK BARK it was like my one wish for the season and it was granted.

But like lol I guess i had a realization... that like ... the soc canon stuff just sort of happened and didn’t reallly have an overarching reason or theme for why these things were happenig. It feels diff from season 1 where it was simple goal of tring to get alina. But this felt like...they were tryign to check off boxes in some ways and the plot was sidelined ... Idk is that too harsh?. Like the backstory of kaz was just...told and idk... I guess idk I was expecting some breakdown or kaz ... being like “I can’t touch” with jesper at least since Jesper witnessed kaz in the carriage...like some outcome of kaz being vulnerable in front of jesper. I guess what i’m trying to say ... it wasn’t as neat as it was in soc? same with kanej. I LOVED the scenes indivdually. But i feel like if i was watching the show from season 1 to season 2 without reading anything... i woudl be confused why kaz and inej are in love. They didn’t really have as much...lead up? or time? LIke ya jesper was in the carriage with kaz and jesper witnessed the pekka rollins scene. i don’t think it’s bad... in fact i love kaz and jesper together and i loved jesper was there to help him there... but like why can’t inej be there tooooo. LOll okay im being so picky here. I loved all teh scenes. AND it’s insane we got to see them.

lol maybe i wouldn’t have such conflicted opinons if I was told that... it would adapt soc and ck moments... LOL i had this expectation since season 1 from the writers that this was PRE-soc with no soc scenes. I’ve been conditioned to expect no content so it was so crazy when it happened. I shoudlnt’ have prepared myself for no content! I should have been expecting the soc/ck like I did 2 years ago hahah. Oh well. 

BUT also... alternate opinion... did the moments in soc itself even have an overarching arc for why the backstory was revealed?? like maybe the source isn’t even like that... lolol.. maybe i hold it in too high regard. like i feel common opinion is that they messed up the soc plotline...cuz of this. but let me think.... like is... really pulling the kanej moments and backstory ... and pulling it out of soc context into sab2 that bad... if you think about it. Like thinking about where those moments were placed in teh ice court plot and ck... the kanej moments like the bathroom scene were more like... little moments of repreive from teh plot. It was something that was separate and could be taken out. Like do those little character revealing moments NEED to be in the ice court context? THey could be in other contexts besides the ice court context if that makes sense. Like when ...is it a good time to reveal that kaz was almost buried in a harbor. It will always come out of the blue lol. Like in some ways... i think it’s okay they’re taking it out of the soc context.

BUt like in terms of....the entire outcome of what they’ll write in season 3/soc season... i feel like the writers set up... a difficult problem lol.LIke what is SOC gonna beeee. LIke soc is about a group of teens that do an ice court heist and excitement is how each one has their backstories that are one by one slowly revealed alongside the heist and you realize they all have their own intentions and things spiral.  Like ... that’s it. like i don’t think it’s bad it’s in the tv show now.. But like... what kind of story wil lbe told in the next season then... like since we know mostly everthing about the characters.

But I actually do have a take that i believe learning kaz’s backstory is early is good thing for story. Kaz is sooo much more of an impactful character to follow when you know where he’s coming from. And why he is the way he is. So much more painful for the reader haha. But like..idk what him beating pekka early will do. I think it will be interesting to explore how he is after revenge... Still grumpy? lost? horny? 

 Like I know fanfic writers can write fantastic post-ck stuff and top it. But lol can the writers? like.. They kinda took the peak moments that were tucked int between the heist ahhaa. Do the same beats but MORE>> good luck to them. I think... i’m optimistic still because i’m naive. There’s still moments to eplxore! They just got a headstart. and i feel the strength of soc is def the characters so they’re given the toys and now they just to write the stories.  But idk... like as evidenced by fanfic... there’s a lot you can still explore and lots of kanej moments you can create that don’t come out of soc/ck. Kaz still has a long way to go! and so does Inej in developing feelings and facing their traumas. And there’s endless scenarios and heists to create just like they did in season 1. But at same time... ahh they lost oppurtunity to straight adapt it. oh well. the price they must pay. LOl watch it not be renewed noooo. oop. Okay at least i got to see all the moments i wanted already.  

Anyways, i love d all the crow moments... but lol in terms of big picture... kind of random? BUT I’m IGNORING THAT. I still absolutely loved it at the same time. LOL wat did i expect from a season 2 of a ya series bloated with 5000 characters.. no they did the best they could. the writers really seem to know what moments the fans love and were like LETS DO IT ALLLNOW> oh i say. LOl and then we fans are like NOOO. Bahah i will be a nice fan and say I love it. bahaha. Even if it was crazy. 

ok then ok then ok then ok then ok then ok then

[gutslive]

kanej makes me insane...the tenderness...the loyalty they have for each other...the intimacy of someone knowing you that well...

[joanwatsonunofficial]

“Don’t Blame Me” by Taylor Swift, Kanej’s version

So I’m a major Swiftie and ever since I read soc and ck, I can’t help but think of Inej and Kaz when I hear this song. So here’s a lyric breakdown that nobody asked for of most of the two verses and part of the bridge because I have issues. Sorry it’s kinda long eheh

Kaz pov:

“Something happened for the first time in the darkest little paradise. Shaking, pacing, I just need you” in the prison cart on their way into the Ice Court when her voice brought him back from the depths

“For you I would cross the line” RIP Oomen’s eyeball

“For you I would waste my time” “there will be a net”, risking a job for her safety

“For you I would lose my mind” threatening Wylan and just being generally more unhinged when Inej was kidnapped

“Trip of my life every time, yeah every time you’re touching me” his touch aversion, his entire mind flipping out while changing her bandages in the blessed bathroom scene

Inej pov:

“My name is whatever you decide” accepting Kaz christening her “The Wraith”

“I’m just gonna call you mine” insisting on thinking of Kaz as human, just a boy, even a miracle, instead of the monster he said he was

“Halo hiding my obsession” her naturally pious nature giving way to her desire to kill the people that were beating Kaz on the floor of the Crow Club

“And baby, for you, I would fall from grace” her killing for him

“Just to touch your face” ROOF OF THE ICE COURT

Bonus:

“If you walk away, I’d beg you on my knees to stay.”

I like it when men beg.

Stay in Ketterdam. Stay with me.

Oh lord save me these two are going to destroy me.

[eerna]

I feel like book Inej learns that the only way to survive the barrel is to kill and obviously she wants to survive so she can find a better life for herself and help others so her whole I guess I have to kill arc being tied into Kanej doesn’t sit right w me… ya know?

Yeah, it ties in the entire “Kaz is too soft” thing. In the books, he flat out ignored her emotional breakdown after she took her first life. He knows what it takes to survive, and he doesn’t pity her for doing it. Here, they made sure he would be around to reassure her it was okay afterwards. BUT I do like it how they added another scene with the sister to show the exact moment Inej becomes a killer. Her loved ones are threatened. She can let the woman live and make good on ther threats, or sacrifice her beliefs, and she makes the choice and her peace with it completely alone.

I can see people thinking Kaz is too open in SaB, but I thought they still captured his coldness fairly well. I'm also kind of operating under the idea that part of the reason he was more open to Inej was because he was out of his element (in a foreign country, away from his gang and club) and because Inej was having such difficulty with justifying her role in the Dregs with her morals and religion. I wonder if in a possible season 2, where they're back in Ketterdam, he becomes more closed off because then he's back in the Barrel and he has to act tougher and harsher because the Barrel is a rough place to live and he's got a reputation to uphold in Ketterdam, unlike Ravka where he's an unknown. What do you think? Love reading your SaB thoughts!

Aww thankss! It does make sense, but same could be said for Ice Court, and he wasn’t nearly as open then. I do hope you’re right and he takes this as a cue to become more closed off so we get to see that good good Kanej development happening... 

my guess is the shadow and bone showrunners and writers are just so excited about the crows and getting to do the six of crows storyline that they’re rushing their plot to get their favorite elements about them in early and i’m just... i don’t absolutely hate it, but i wish it could have been done better.

It did feel taht way. They were so excited about where the characters were gonna end up that they forgot that, in writing, it’s about the journey as much as the destination.

okay so i guess when they said they were making prequel content i assumed that would mean new plot points (which we’ve got) and new dialogue (which we have some of)… but they’re using key dialogue/conversations from the book that come at super important moments in the story (ie investment and the convo nina has w matthias about how barbaric fjerda is the whole how many grisha are allowed to live after their trial thing —> both of which come at very crucial moments for each character)… i guess i’m wondering what the show will offer when those moments come and they’ve already used that dialogue… does that make sense?

i know it’s a small thing but i’m still disappointed

Yup! Kaz giving his crow speech from THE LAST CHAPTER OF THE ENTIRE SERIES during the prequel didn’t sit right with me. The thing with Nina and Matthias was supposed to be that they just didn’t talk about morality during those initial weeks. They became Nina and Matthias, two people who had to rely on each other to survive. They taunted and jabbed each others’ cultures on the basis of food, festivals, and propriety, and it wasn’t until SoC that they got the luxury to start talking about the bigger issues. Which is also the reason Matthias started growing only after Hellgate, when Nina stopped being the exception and became the symbol in his head.

Wow I went on a ramble there but yeah I agree that they shouldn’t have hurried anywhere...

[not-just-human]

So some time ago my amazing friend @claudiarya wrote a fanfiction, that is mostly Kanej centered (my beautiful and amazing babies, you are such a comfort to me) but since rn I’m in a Zoyalai breakdown, I’d like to show to all you something .

I suck at writing but this is exactly how I have pictured in my mind some party hosted by our beloved King and Queen.

And also who doesn’t love when Nikolai kiss Zoya’s hand, that would totally something he would do. I miss them.

(Btw this is the fanfiction: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28174185 you should read, it will fill your heart with joy)

((Beware it’s post crooked kingdom and post rule of wolves))

[kkanej]

i’m actually also rereading ck right now so yeah....the kanej breakdown hours are inescapable (not that i’m really trying LMAO)

plsss i’ve been having a nonstop kanej breakdown since i first read soc

& i’m at rhe last matthias chapter right now :) so i’m in a fragile emotional state :)

[andromeda3116]

so like i said i would do no more explaining but i was kinda jokey with that post when actually no i legit did put thought and purpose into this kanej playlist, so here’s a breakdown of the songs on it and which lyric(s)/to whom it applies. some of them, again, are more about the general vibe, but mostly there’s like. an actual reason i picked these songs.

kaz.

o. (not on spotify) the sewers belch me up, the heavens spit me out, from ethers tragic i am born again. [...] is it bright where you are? have the people changed? does it make you happy you're so strange? and in your darkest hour, i hold secrets' flame. you can watch the world devoured in its pain. --the end is the beginning is the end

i. god money, i’ll do anything for you. god money, just tell me what you want me to. god money, nail me up against the wall. god money, don't want everything, he wants it all. no, you can’t take it, no you can't take it, no, you can’t take that away from me. head like a hole, black as your soul, i'd rather die than give you control. bow down before the one you serve, you’re going to get what you deserve.

ii. there’s a shadow just behind me, shrouding every step i take, making every promise empty, pointing every finger at me. [...] i am just a worthless liar, i am just an imbecile. i will only complicate you. trust in me and fall as well. [...] why can we not be sober, i just want to start this over.

iii. i’d walk to you through rings of fire, and never let you know the way i feel. under skin is where i hide the love that always gets me on my knees. [...] i want it now, i want it now. don’t tell me that my ship is coming in. --nothing lasts forever

iv. one: take control of me, you’re messing with the enemy. said it’s two: it’s another trick, you’re messing with my mind. [...] there it goes again, take me to the edge again. all i got is a dirty trick, i’m chasing down the wolves to save you. i tell you i want you, i tell you i need you. the blood on my face, i just wanted you near me. --club foot

v. don’t waste your touch, you won’t feel anything. or were you sent to save me? i’ve thought too much, you won’t find anything worthy of redeeming. [...] reach out and you may take my heart away. --the leaving song, part two

vi. while i waited, i was wasting away, hope was wasting away, faith was wasting away, i was wasting away. [...] inside a crumbling effigy, but you promised. so dies all innocence, but you promised me. --the great disappointment

vii. welcome to the end of eras, ice has melted back to life, done my time and served my sentence, dress me up and watch me die. if it feels good, tastes good, it must be mine. dynasty decapitated, you just might see a ghost tonight. [...] the crown. so close i could taste it, i see what’s mine and take it. --the emperor’s new clothes

viii. all my friends were glorious, tonight we are victorious. [...] i’m a killing spree in white, eyes like broken christmas lights. my touch is black and poisonous. [...] throw the bait, catch the shark, bleed the water red. fifty words for murder, and i’m every one of them.

ix. just like romantic verses, just like a joyous end, just like a memory, it twists me. you land as lightly as the new snow onto the melting boy. you land as gently, you’re so cinematic, bathed in your radiance, i melt. --this celluloid dream

x. i’ll describe the way i feel: weeping wounds that never heal. can this savior be for real, or are you just my seventh seal? no hesitation, no delay, you come on just like special k, now you’re back, the dope demand, i’m on sinking sand. [...] i’ll describe the way i feel: you’re my new achilles heel.

xi. i choose to live and to grow, take and give and to move, learn and love and to cry, kill and die and to be paranoid and to lie, hate and fear and to do what it takes to move through. i choose to live and to lie, kill and give and to die, learn and love and to do what it takes to step through. [...] i’ve been crawling on my belly, clearing out what could have been. --forty-six and two

xii. do you listen to yourself? never live for someone else. do you like the way you feel? nothing hurts when no one’s real. [...] i wanna bullet-proof your soul, would you like to lose control? i won’t let you fall until you tell me so. [...] should have listened when you called my name.

xiii. you have forsaken all the love you’ve taken, sleeping on a razor, there’s nowhere left to fall. your body’s aching, every bone is breaking, nothing seems to shake it, it just keeps holding on. [...] i thread the needle through, you beat the devil’s tattoo.

xiv. i’m insane, but on my toes. i can keep the world balanced on my nose. i had a slumber party with all my foes, now i wear ‘em like a badge of honor on my clothes. if i’m crazy, i’m on my own. if i’m waiting, it’s on my throne. [...] can’t stop me now, i said i got you now. i’m right here at your door, i won’t leave, i want more. --what’s up, danger?

xv. the world is a vampire sent to drain, secret destroyers hold you up to the flames. and what do i get for my pain? betrayed desires and a piece of the game. [...] despite all my rage, i am still just a rat in a cage. --bullet with butterfly wings

xvi. can’t you see i’m sorry? i will make it worth your while. i’m made of dead men’s money, you can see it in my smile. oh, lazarus, how did your debt get paid? [...] when the fires, when the fires are consuming you, and your sacred stars won’t be guiding you, i’ve got blood, i’ve got blood on my name.

xvii. “oh don’t talk of love,” the shadows purr, murmuring me away from you. “don’t talk of worlds that never were, the end is all that’s ever true.” [...] every night i burn, every night i scream your name.

xviii. my heart’s a tart, your body’s rent, my body’s broken, yours is bent. carve your name into my arm, instead of stressed, i lie here charmed. [...] like the naked leads the blind, i know i’m selfish, i’m unkind. sucker love, i always find someone to bruise and leave behind. --every you, every me

xix. it don’t matter, i won’t do what you say. you’ve got the money and the power, i won’t go your way. i can’t take for the people, they don’t matter at all. i’ll be waiting in the shadows, until the day that you fall. [...] kill me if you dare, hold my head up everywhere. --underdog

.

inej.

i. i’m a princess cut from marble, smoother than a storm, and the scars that mark my body, they’re silver and gold. my blood is a flood of rubies, precious stones, it keeps my veins hot, the fire’s found a home in me. [...] and i’m locking up everyone who ever laid a finger on me. i’m done with it, oh, this is the start of how it all ends. --yellow flicker beat

ii. just how deep do you believe? will you bite the hand that feeds? will you chew until it bleeds? can you get up off your knees? are you brave enough to see? do you wanna change it?

iii. i know it’s a lie, i want it to be true. the rest of the ride is riding on you. [...] wishing you could keep me closer, i’m a lazy dancer, when you move i move with you. --collect call

iv. don’t look ahead, there’s stormy weather, another roadblock in our way. but if we go, we go together, our hands are tied here if we stay. oh, we said our dreams would carry us and if they don’t fly, we will run. now we push right past to find out how to win what they all lost. oh, we know that we want more, oh, the life we’re fighting for. [...] there are no rules that we can’t break. --disparate youth

v. as i move my feet towards your body, i can hear this beat, it fills my head up and gets louder and louder. i run to the river and dive straight in. i pray that the water will drown out the din. [...] there’s a drumming noise inside my head and it starts when you’re around. --drumming song

vi. shoot me down, but i get up. i’m bulletproof, nothing to lose. fire away, fire away. ricochet, you take your aim. fire away, fire away. shoot me down, but i won’t fall, i am titanium.

vii. you’ve been walking, you’ve been hiding, and you look half-dead half the time. monitoring you, like machines do, you’ve still got it, i’m just keeping an eye. you say too late to start, with your heart in a headlock. i don’t believe any of it.

viii. i’m in need of a savior, but i’m not asking for favors. my whole life i’ve felt like a burden, i think too much and i hate it. i’m so used to being in the wrong, i’m tired of caring. loving never gave me a home, so i’ll sit here in the silence. i found peace in your violence, can’t tell me there’s no point in trying. i’m at one, and i’ve been quiet for too long.

ix. i am running, i will meet you halfway. when i get there, will you be waiting for me? and i’m scared that you don’t feel the same. and after all, just how much can i take? heaven help me, i think i’m in love, i’m all in love with you. ‘cause i can’t help myself, i’m falling down, i’m falling hard for you.

x. i never promised you an open heart or charity, i never wanted to abuse your imagination. i come with knives, i come with knives and agony to love you.

xi. stooped down and out, you got me beggin’ for thread to sew this hole up that you ripped it my head. stupidly think you had it under control. strapped down to something you don’t understand, don’t know what you were getting yourself into. you should have known, secretly i think you knew.

xii. go row the boat to safer grounds, but don’t you know? we’re stronger now. my heart still beats, and my skin still feels. my lungs still breathe, my mind still fears. but we’re running out of time, all the echoes in my mind cry. there’s blood on your lies, the scars open wide. there is nowhere for you to hide, the hunter’s moon is shining. i’m running with the wolves tonight.

xiii. a falling star fell from your heart and landed in my eyes. i screamed aloud as it tore through them and now it’s left me blind. the stars, the moon, they have all been blown out, you’ve left me in the dark. no dawn, no day, i’m always in this twilight, in the shadow of your heart. [...] i took the stars from my eyes and then i made a map, i knew that somehow i could find the way back. then i heard your heart beating, you were in the darkness, too. so i stayed in the darkness with you. --cosmic love

.

both/and.

i. shed a tear for each soul set free, but that’s what happens when you dance with me. pity the man who stands in my way, i’m a nightmare even in the day. i’d be wise with which words you say, ‘cause they could be the last breath you take. [...] call me a criminal, maybe, baby, i’m an outlaw. you know, i ain’t evil but i ain’t a saint.

ii. it’s my own design, it’s my own remorse. help me to decide. help me make the most of freedom, and of pleasure. nothing ever lasts forever. everybody wants to rule the world. there’s a room where the light won’t find you, holding hands while the walls come tumbling down. when they do i’ll be right behind you.

iii. i know you’ve suffered, but i don’t want you to hide. [...] i want to reconcile the violence in your heart, i want to recognize your beauty’s not just a mask. i want to exorcise the demons from your past. i want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart.

iv. you mean that much to me and it’s hard to show. gets hectic inside of me when you go. can i confess these things to you? well, i don’t know. embedded in my chest and it hurts to hold. i couldn’t spill my heart, my eyes gleam looking in from the dark. i walk out in stormy weather, hold my words, keep us together. steady walking but bound to trip, should release but just tighten my grip. night time, sympathize, i’ve been working on white lies. so i’ll tell the truth.

v. i, i came here in day, but i left here in darkness and found you, found you on the way. [...] your sins into me, oh my beautiful one. --silver and cold

vi. you wanna make me bad, make me bad. you wanna pay me back, pay me back. baby, it’s violence, violence. [...] but i like it like that.

vii. hey, baby, can you bleed like me? oh, come on baby, can you bleed like me? you should see my scars.

viii. i’m giving you a night call, to tell you how i feel. i’m gonna show you where it’s dark but have no fear. [...] there’s something inside you, it’s hard to explain. they’re talking about you, boy, but you’re still the same.

ix. you don’t wanna hurt me, but see how deep the bullet lies. unaware that i’m tearing you asunder, and there’s a thunder in our hearts, baby. so much hate for the ones we love, tell me we both matter, don’t we? [...] come on baby, come on, come on darling, let me steal this moment from you now. --running up that hill

x. feel my heart burning, deep inside, yearning. i know it is coming. a fettered heart, waking. tainted youth, fading. leave it all behind. delirious again, mesmerize my senses, souls entwine one more time.

xi. there is love in your body but you can’t get it out, it gets stuck in your head, won’t come out of your mouth. sticks to your tongue and it shows on your face, that the sweetest of words have the bitterest taste. darling heart, i loved you from the start, but you'll never know what a fool i have been. darling heart, i loved you from the start, but that’s no excuse for the state i am in. --hardest of hearts

xii. it’s fire, it’s freedom, it’s flooding open. it’s the preacher and the pulpit and your blind devotion. there’s something breaking at the brick of every wall, it’s holding all that you know. so tell me do you wanna go? where it’s covered in all the colored lights, where the runaways are running the nights. impossible comes true, it’s taking over you. [...] where the lost get found and we crown ‘em the circus king. --the greatest show

xiii. but if you’re troubled and hurt, what you got under your shirt will make them pay for the things they did. they said now, teenagers scare the living shit out of me. they could care less, as long as someone will bleed. so darken your clothes and strike a violent pose, maybe they’ll leave you alone, but not me. 

xiv. we are ready for the siege, we are armed up to the teeth. be careful how you live and breathe, release what’s broken underneath. how many times do you wanna die? how many ways do you wanna die? [...] you used to do a little but a little won’t fly, right before you hit your prime. that’s where we fell in love but not the first time. --the royal we

xv. and how can we win, when fools can be kings? don’t waste your time, or time will waste you. no one’s gonna take me alive. the time has come to make things right. you and i must fight for our rights, you and i must fight to survive. --knights of cydonia

xvi. look at me go, look at me high and low, look at me picking myself back up from the underground. i’ve died a few times before, i know what it’s like when i can’t see the light, i find a light of my own. [...] we were born alone, and we die alone. what a way to go, now i’m on my own. but i’m not sorry, no.

xvii. broken people, hollow and feeble, they’re rolling, rolling up the hill. [...] breaking in, in, in my eyes, i can’t see like this. i can’t let go, please help me down, i can’t be like this. --sweet

xviii. prey on the powerful, masters of the game, we run with wolves in the shadows, we chase ‘em down ‘til we’re face to face. [...] it’s in our blood, in our blood, in our veins. this is the world we made.

xix. and our lives are forever changed, we will never be the same. the more you change the less you feel. believe, believe in me. believe, believe that life can change, that you’re not stuck in vain. we’re not the same, we’re different tonight. [...] we’ll make things right, we’ll feel it all tonight. we’ll find a way to offer up the night tonight, the indescribable moments of your life, tonight. the impossible is possible tonight. believe in me as i believe in you, tonight.

[alphinias]

I also know Ben's performance is just going to captivate me. I didn't like his evil character in the punisher but boy was it hard as there were so many times like when he was having a breakdown where you'd feel really bad him or find him quite charming. So I can't wait to see his portrayal as the darkling which no doubt will be really good.

Once again... he’s perfect. His performance is one of the things I’m most excited to see by far.

(Along with Kanej)

[crowsvalentine]

Six of crows Modern au: Car/Mechanic Edition 

(These are just random headcanons there’s no real story here just ideas I needed to share)

The car obsession starts the summer Kaz and Jesper are thirteen and Mr. Fahey finally lets them work on that old broken down ford mustang that had been rotting away in the garage since before the Fahey’s even owned the farm

By some miracle, and some car knowledge Jesper had no idea Kaz possessed, they some how got that car to turn on the day before school was supposed to start 

Mr. Fahey was so proud he decided to teach the boys how to drive

When they were sixteen they both managed to get jobs at the local  garage by Kaz’s apartment 

It’s mostly just to clean up after the real mechanics but they start helping out more and more throughout their time there and eventually they’re allowed to actually work on the cars that come in

Jesper buys his car first because as a high school graduation gift his dad agreed to pay for half

It’s a beat up old dodge challenger with chipped orange paint but he absolutely loves the thing

Him and Kaz fix it up and give it a clean paint job and it becomes their baby 

Kaz doesn’t buy his own car

Because he has other expenses he needs to take care of so he can never save enough 

On his ninteenth birthday Mr. Fahey gifts him the car they fixed up way back when and Kaz is so grateful 

And if he’s honest he wouldn’t have wanted any other car because what’s better than a mustang?

He paints it black and for the next few years he works on it until it becomes his ideal car 

Throwing some Kanej in here because I’m trash:

Despite the fact that he practically built it, Kaz hates Inej’s car

They were on the way to a dealership to buy her a car because she needed one but on the way there they passed the old car lot filled with rotting parts and just mere skeletons of vehicles  

She yelled at him to stop and he did...and he sighed because with her face pressed up against the wire fence she was grinning at a purple beetle that had overgrown weeds coming out of the headlights 

“You know it won’t end up being Herbie, right?”

“I’ll pay you to fix it” 

He gave in, of course

The owner of the garage let him use it outside of work hours to work on her car 

He paid out of his own pocket for the parts he needed and he just spent so much time and effort into that car

And plus, those late nights were worth it because Inej would always come by with food and they’d sit at the messy old work bench where Inej would later fall asleep at while he continued to work 

Another thing that made it worth it is the fact that Inej really likes watching him work

Because it’s hot

And it sometimes lead to him being pulled away for a few moments to satisfy her before being allowed to get back to work

Okay but back to the car- yeah Kaz hates it

Because the day he was supposed to give it to Inej, after all that suspense, it doesn’t start 

And over and over again after that it just breaks down constantly 

Kaz literally drives a car he fixed up when he was a kid and this car he builds after years of experience doesn’t even work

However, Inej loves it

So much

Because of the fact that Kaz built it and its occasional breakdown always led to him driving over to help her even if she’s in the middle of no where and he was busy he’ll still always come and she gets the chance to see him leaning over the hood of her little car which is a sight she would never give up

When Kaz finally opens his own garage Inej is his first customer and her reward is never having to make an appointment to bring her car in after that

It makes some of his other, real customers mad though when they’ve made an appointment but then this little purple beetle pulls up and takes their spot 

Kaz gets threats about them leaving him to go to another mechanic and he just shrugs

“My girl comes first appointment or not so either wait or good luck finding someone else to take you on such short notice”

There’s one night when Inej was sitting on top of Kaz’s car as he worked underneath it 

And she asked him why he loved it all so much

Cars and all that 

She hears him stop working but he doesn’t roll out from underneath 

“My mom’s family owned a garage, she practically grew up in it. She taught me what she could before,” he paused, and Inej didn’t push him to continue. He never spoke about her, in the years she’d known him she didn’t even know his mom’s name. “I went back to buy the place but they tore it down,” he finally said after a minute

“You have this place now, at least, I’m sure she would have loved it”

“Yeah, she would have.” and that was it before he continued working

Jesper doesn’t know any of this

Because he thinks Kaz’s reasoning is the same as his

Cars are just... so much fun

I’m gonna stop here but just guys Kaz and Jesper being more in love with their cars than like anything else  

[inejsgf]

i’m having a kanej breakdown bc of this au i read on ao3 it was the best thing that’s happened to me in a long time, it was free therapy but made me also want to throw myself off my roof also this fanart from @phantasymistart is literally the au im gonna off nyself

[sheikah]

wait one of the acotar books is 800 pages?? how do you get 800 pages of fairy smut

I have no idea lol. I'm pretty sure there's a little more to her work than fairy smut? Idk, but if you want a laugh and a good breakdown of the latest and longest book, watch Cindy's videos on it. Disclaimer that Cindy kinda lost me by being a bit anti Darklina, and some weird comments she's made about Kanej... but she's still hilarious :X

[sneakyasaspider]

Tagged by: @radar-technician (You are going to make my heart burst, Mads, you sweet woman. Thank you <3 )

What is your total word count on AO3?

22632 (But I’m updating one of my fics tonight hopefully so it’ll go up roughly 3000)

How often do you write?

I write as often as I can. Working full-time makes it so it isn’t always daily, but I spend my entire day off chained to my laptop to make up for it.

Do you have a routine for writing?

If it’s a new story then I sit down and write an entire outline with chapter by chapter breakdowns and then I make a full playlist of songs that belong to that fic. Once that’s done, I pull up my breakdown in one tab, my designated music playlist in another, and finally the fic itself. Sometimes I deviate from the outline a little bit or I want to listen to something a little different. If it’s late at night or I’m exhausted then I usually have an energy drink of some variety. I don’t like to stop mid scene if I can help it, so much of my fics are done in three sittings. The first draft, the beta reading, and then edits/rewrites.

What’s your favorite kinks/tropes/pairing?

kinks: Oh no, there are so many hhhhh.Tantric sex. Sensory overload. Exhaustion. Praise/worship. Semi-public/Risk of getting caught(don’t @ me). Fingers in mouth???(Also don’t @ me). Dirty talk. Lawyers. Professors. Deliciously sophisticated and in a suit god yes please.

tropes: enemies to friends to lovers/pretend couple/mutual pining/ust/crime aus

pairing: reylo is my #1 right now. But I also adore LoVe (Veronica Mars x Logan Echolls), Kanej (Kaz Brekker x Inej Ghafa from Six of Crows) and HanLeia was my first OTP ever so it holds a special place in my heart.

Do you have a favorite fic of yours?

My favorite fic of mine is one that I haven’t posted anywhere. I spent hours plotting it out and laying everything exactly how I wanted only to decide that maybe I shouldn’t post it because it’s super self indulgent and edgy for no reason. It’s an AU with a detective Rey Kenobi on the hunt for Ben Solo, famed neurologist who worked for a shady pharmaceuticals company and is the man who killed Luke Skywalker. BUT, my eternal WIP aside, I’d have to say that I’m still in love with this ficlet featuring a cape wearing Ben Solo who isn’t Force sensitive and was practically raised by Lando Calrissian(The one true love of my life.) I hope to someday make something bigger out of it. Maybe when I finish my current AU.

Your fic with the most kudos?

My piano AU Found a Flower in a Field of Weeds has the most kudos. It’s my first long fic on AO3 and is still a wip. I’m fairly new to the writing game so none of my works even have 100 kudos LMAO

 Anything you don’t like about your writing?

I dislike MOST things about my writing. I used to write a lot more confidently when I was younger, but I had a few people who I cared about a lot tell me that I was a terrible writer and that I should just stick to what I’m good at. I struggle finding balance in keeping my writing from being too wordy/boring. I’ve been told that I suffer from purple prose syndrome and so I’m VERY paranoid about it.

Now something you do like?

I love the process of making a story. The hours I spend plotting out these stories are the best hours of my life. I LOVE reading, so it brings me that most amazing feeling to know that I’m writing something that someone else might want to read. Character growth and exploring AUs are my two favorite things in this whole wide world and I love that I can do that.

Tagging: @hyperphonic (Because Featherweight and all of your lovely ficlets are SO wonderful <3)

[ninacarstairss]

ash’s thread about chapter 40 is literally a huge fuck you to the original helnik death trope how does that make you want to write more helnik pain kenosnsks brb i’m gonna go have a breakdown in a corner

ok great i’ll get my grave and tombstone ready. i can already see so many wesper, helnik and kanej death tropes coming my way

Asgdjflsla I'm tired so y'all suffer ig🤷

Helnik fic again where a group of untrustworthy Ravkans take him for an enemy and while Nina is gone they burn down their house and Matthias goes ka-boom. Just cuz he was a Fjerdan who fell in love with a Grisha

WHAT—

IZZY FFS A WARNING WOULD BE NICE

pls go to sleep kensksn your reaction to being tired is making me cry 😭😭😭 why all these helnik death tropes lately?? my poor babies 😭😭 and this one is just cruel dkdnksjsn poor matthias he is just in love why does he have to die??? it’s not fair jansknsks