#i’m going to try and actually think about this before being impulsive like i usually am

[mysumeow]

ᯓ★ KINKTOBER DAY 1: SEMI-PUBLIC

ᓚᘏᗢ WARNINGS: Afab body reader, referred to with you/your. Established relationship, handjob, doing it in a semi-public place, reader takes a dominant role for the most part of the smut. Not proofread.

ᓚᘏᗢ SUMMARY: You sneak in with Kinich into the changing room.

ᓚᘏᗢ A/N: First kinktober post! I almost caved in and posted it before it was october but I held on since I wanted to actually participate for the first time TT_TT

🎃 . . . KINKTOBER MASTERLIST

There was just something about Kinich today that made your thoughts swirl with improper ideas, and thus, the moment he excused himself to change from his usual clothes into swimming trunks, you knew it was a window of opportunity to sneak in with him into the changing room.

You looked around to make sure there was no one in sight before you called his name. Kinich identified your voice, and he proceeded to open the door.

“What—”

With a solid push, you cut him off and stepped inside with him.

His skin was warm, and it was nice against yours. You pressed your face against his bare chest, as you’d caught him mid-undressing. After a few seconds of both surprise and confusion, your boyfriend wrapped his arms around your waist.

“I was going to ask what you were doing here, but I have an idea of what it could be.”

“Why do you think I’m here?” you pulled away and feigned innocence.

“Sneaking with your partner into a secluded area doesn’t always come with pure intentions.”

“Says who? I only came here to see you,” you were aware it was a brittle excuse and that he knew you were toying with him. Kinich sighed, used to your playful antics at this point.

“Do as you please.”

Next thing he knew, he was pushed against the wall, facing it. You snuck a hand under his pants and got to work him. It was a matter of time until you felt his dick harden beneath your touches, your free hand toying with one of his nipples. Besides that, the way you kissed his shoulder blades further aided to that result.

“Already hard? That was fast. You must like me a lot,” you couldn’t help but tease him, smiling satisfied at yourself.

“When you’re touching me all over my weak spots, how could I not get like this?” Kinich rebutted with a shaky breath; his arms trembled as well.

How unfortunate you couldn’t see the way his precum beaded at the tip or watch him furrow his eyebrows from the pleasure. You acted in an impulsive manner; you didn’t give it too much thought in what position you wanted to pleasure him. Nevertheless, the sounds he was making were arousing, and you continued with your pursuit of his climax. You slid your thumb over the head to smear it on his cock, the friction became more fluid. 

“Haah… It’s not enough,” Kinich murmured. His hand seized your wrist and attempted to fasten your rhythm.

It was your intention to go slow, so you swatted his hand away. “I want to call the shots today, okay? You can have your fun later.”

“I’ll remember this when it’s my turn.”

“I’m scared,” you said with a giggle.

The fact that he was still able to get hard despite the dryness, you decided to tone down a little your unfair treatment. The hand that was working his member went to his mouth, and you asked him to spit on it.

“What bit you this morning?” he was near speechless, not accustomed to being on the receiving end of these types of shameful requests. It was usual for it to be the other way around, when he wanted to finger you, and he told you to get his fingers wet with your tongue. However, he did as you asked, finding no harm in humoring you.

Now with your hand wet, you resumed your strokes. Heeding his request to go faster, though. You increased the tempo enough to lead him closer to his climax, but not quite, to tether him on the edge.

Kinch bit his lip, trying to hinder his groans. All you were doing was giving him a handjob, and yet, it grew more difficult to control himself.

“Kinich!” Mualani’s voice sounded from the outside. “Are you in there?”

“Yes. What’s the matter?” Kinich answered with utmost effort to not let out any suspicious noises.

“You’ve been gone for a while now. I was worried. Everything alright?”

Kinich parted his bitten lips to answer, but a hitched groan escaped instead. You’d decided to really speed up.

“Yes, I’m okay. I’ll be there—” he leaned his head against the wall to steady himself. A hand shot to yours, and for a second you thought he wanted you to wait a moment, but he didn’t put any force in his grasp. “I’ll be there in a minute.”

“Okay, then! Don’t take too long. The celebration’s about to start.”

Before you were given the chance to slow down, Kinich maintained his hold around your hand and proceeded to guide it at a steady tempo now, his orgasm built in the matter of a blink of an eye. He shifted his hips forward, your hand flush against the base when he came.

Shortly after, his hand went limp as he relished in the waves of pleasure that coursed through him, trying to regain his breath.

“Head back before it gets too suspicious,” Kinich spoke once he recovered. “I’ll meet you there.”

“Alright,” you gave him a peck on his cheek.

The party continued in complete normalcy; the festive atmosphere helped with everyone being distracted. You had so much fun with your friends and Kinich. It was a rather nice night.

When the party ended and everyone was heading back home, and it was your turn to change clothes... Little did you know of who was waiting there for you to payback what you did to him earlier.

“You know very well how I operate. Everything comes at a price,” Kinich whispered against your ear, a hand already parting your legs and rubbing at your clit through the fabric of your swimwear. “You had your fun. It’s my turn now.”

[inkykeiji]

Guess we shouldn't mention FF14 is supposed to be free until level 60 👀👀👀

i know!!!!! i know that! but if i decide to play i’ll end up buying the complete collectors edition irregardless because that is just Who I Am and that’s currently on sale for $60

[thealtoduck]

Secret Saviour

Damian Wayne x Male Reader

Warnings: None…

Part 1: Being the son of Roulette and meeting Damian Wayne…

Summary: When Bruce goes missing Damian finds an unexpected help in Y/n Sinclair…

(A/n: I changed the title from the poll)

——

Ever since the two of you studied together you and Damian had grown fond of each others company. Despite that Damian would never admit this fact, he insisted to his family that he was simply investigating you to see if you were somehow involved with your mother’s criminal activities.

He hadn’t actually found anything suspicious connecting you to Roulette yet which pleased him. Because according to him it means ”he dosen’t have to contact the GCPD… yet”. But Damian would have to put his ”investigation” on halt for a bit.

One dark night during patrol Bruce had suddenly disappeared without a trace, no comms could reach him and they had no way to track him except for the Batmobile’s last location, which hadn’t revealed the slightest hint. His allies looked for him for days trying to find even the smallest clue that would at least let them know he was alive but nothing.

Just when they felt like there was no where else to look they got a call from the watchtower. They answered and Martian Manhunter appeared on the screen of the Batcomputer.

”Hey J’onn, good news I hope” Dick greeted. ”The watchtower recieved an urgent message about Batman’s current whereabouts from an unknown source” J’onn said and another voice started playing from the speakers, one which Damian recognized…

”Is this the watchtower?” A voice came over a weak signal making the sound crackle lightly. Despite the bad audio quality Damian knew that voice immediately it was Y/n’s voice. ”I know Batman has disappeared and I think I know where he is, have someone meet me on the 4th floor of parking garage next to the Royal Hotel, on Wednesday at midnight and I’ll tell you what i know”.

The message then ended and J’onn said ”I’ll let you decide how to deal with the informant, make sure to be careful, contact the League if you need any further help, good luck”. Then he hung up and disappeared from the main screen.

”Do we go meet the informant? It could be a trap to get us too” Duke questioned. ”We don’t have anything else to go off, this could be our only lead, we have to go” Tim stated. ”How about two of us go meet the informant, while the others keep watch in the surrounding area and Oracle monitors, incase it’s a trap” Dick said drawing up a plan.

The others muttered and nodded in agreement of the plan. ”I wanna meet the informant” Damian then voulenteered on impulse making the others turn to him suprised by his eagerness. But Damian needed to make sure it was you, even if you might be luring him in to a trap.

”Alright” Dick said and walked them through the plan ”Me and Damian meet the informant on the 4th floor. Jason, you keep an eye from above the top of the Royal Hotel. Cass and Steph, i want one of you on the 5th floor and one on the 3rd floor, incase we need back up. Duke and Tim, you’ll watch from the building across the street, everyone clear?”.

The each member of the team uttered a quick ”Yes” in understanding. As Damian went to bed he knew needed to keep an eye on you tommorow.

——

The next day when Damian attended school he was on the watch for you. Once he found you, you greeted Damian as you usually did but as you got to class he noticed you seemed off. You were usually the more talkative out of the two of you but today you seemed distracted, almost nervous today.

When you got to lunch time and you and Damian sat down together he questioned ”Are you okay? You’re being quiet”. ”Oh… no I’m fine I just got a lot to do, so just a bit stressed you know” you answered vaguely.

The fact that Damian had pointed it out, made you seem more focused and yourself, he assumed it was to not seem suspicious and make him ask more questions. Once the school day ended you were quick in saying goodbye to him before you got in to a car as your chauffeur took you home.

——

Later that night Nightwing and Robin grappled to the 4th floor of parking garage and started looking around. There were some cars parked there that they kept a watchful eye on in case any goons were hiding inside. Soon the two spotted a figure dressed in all black.

The figure was looking down to the streets below the garage. The two approached slowly ready to grab their weapons in case of an ambush. As they stopped behing the stranger he turned around.

Damian had been right there you were hidden in a black hoodie. Not something you’d usually wear but Damian understood it was for stealth purposes. And even then he thought black suited you well.

Dick however was caught slightly off guard a kid was the one who had made an emergency call to the Watchtower…

”Thanks for meeting me” you said, your voice cautious as you looked around to see no one would hear you. ”So, what do you know?” Nightwing asked.

”I think that Batman was taken by the criminal, Roulette, ever heard of her?” you started. ”Yeah, she’s the one who runs those illegal cansinos, what makes you think she’s behind this?” Dick asked.

”I… have sources who work closely with her” you said Robin and Nightwing noticing the slight hesitation in your voice. ”They say she’s advertising a special event with her superhero cage fights that started around the same time Batman went missing” you explained.

”Any idea where she might have taken him?” Robin spoke up, his voice throwing you off for a moment, Robin sounded kinda like Damian. You got back on track and answered ”My guess would be her casino in Las Vegas, it’s her biggest one, she holds all her major events there and I think she’d make having captured Batman, a big event”.

You held out a flash drive in your hand and said ”This contains the layout of the Vegas casino”. Nightwing picked it up and said ”Thank you, you’ve been very helpful to us”.

”It’s the least I could do after all you’ve all done for the city” you told him with a small smile. ”I have to leave now” you told them. ”Good luck” you said walking off, you felt someone grab your shoulder.

Making you turn around being met with Robin. ”You shouldn’t walk home alone, It’s dangerous this late at night, someone should escort you” he stated. You smiled at him. ”Don’t worry I’m a tough boy, who can take care of himself, thanks for the offer though” you stated, a teasing tone to your voice and you once more turned around and strolled off.

——

Dick and Damian then started their drive home in the Batmobile. ”I wonder what sources he had, hope he’s not mixed up in that crowd, he seemed pretty young” Dick said with a worried tone.

”That was Y/n Sinclair, he probably got the info straight from Roulette herself” Damian revealed. ”Oh! That was your boyfriend? The one you’re ”investigating”? He seemed nice, I like him, Good pick” Dick stated.

”He’s NOT my boyfriend!” Damian said annoyed.

”You just offered to walk him home” Dick accused. Damian glared at his brother and said ”Just to make sure he stays out of trouble”.

”…Right” Dick said not believing a single word Damian said.

[aesethewitch]

When Witching Goes Wrong: Basics

Not all spells that go wrong are “backfires.” A backfire occurs when a spell’s result is antithetical to the result you wanted to cause — it causes a negative outcome, often coming back onto you as the caster, but sometimes creating the opposite effect as was desired on the target. For example, casting a money attraction spell and losing a wallet full of cash as a result would be considered a backfire. A spell that fizzles, does nothing, or produces an unexpected (but not negative) side-effect wouldn’t be a backfire (in my opinion, that is).

Most spells that go wrong aren’t backfires. In general, you’re likelier to have a spell that acts unexpectedly or that simply fizzles than one that blows up in your face somehow. You shouldn’t be anxious about a backfire. But, as someone with lots of experience in the realm of worrying about worst-case scenarios, I understand the impulse.

The solution is to understand what can go wrong, how to prevent it, and what to do in the event of an actual worst-case scenario. My goal with this post (and with this WWGW series) is to help you feel less anxious about spells going wrong and more prepared to deal with whatever comes your way.

So, let’s start from the beginning.

Outcome Projection

Risk assessment, mitigation, and management. Fellow corporate drones (former or current) will know exactly what I’m talking about here. The idea is to predict possible ways that things can go wrong and either prevent them entirely or put strategies in place to deal with them ahead of time. It’s damage control before the damage occurs.

Now, the key here is to not go overboard. Fellow chronic worriers will know the horrible allure of going down every possible path of anxiety, only to find ourselves paralyzed entirely by the fear that something will go wrong. Remember that most spells do not backfire. In most cases, the worst thing (and most common negative outcome, in my experience) that can happen is that nothing happens. The next most common is unexpected side effects, but those are usually easily dealt with.

The goal is to ensure the success of the spell. For example, when you’re looking for a new place to live, you don’t want to just look for the number of bedrooms and the finishes in the kitchen. You want to account for the appliances, the heating/cooling systems, the quality of the flooring, signs of water damage, signs of mold… all sorts of things.

A similar concept applies to accounting for backfires/failures in spellwork. You want to close loopholes and think about the outcomes you specifically don’t want — and then incorporate ways to prevent those things from happening.

The Ways Spells Can Go Wrong

The spell fully backfires. By “fully backfires,” I mean that it completely fails and creates the exact opposite outcome to what you were going for. Using a love spell as an example, this could include the target leaving your life, forming negative opinions of you, or becomes interested in someone else (particularly if you were trying to pull attention from that someone else onto yourself).

The spell is bounced back to you. This is more unusual than you think! I often see the warning about spells being redirected back at the caster in arguments against hexing and cursing others. I’ve had exactly one spell reversed back at me, and it was because the target was 1. A witch, and 2. Expecting it.

The spell’s primary result is unexpected. Not necessarily bad, just not what you meant to do. For example, casting a spell to get a promotion at work and discovering that your close friend is getting a promotion instead.

The spell has unexpected side effects. Like casting a spell for good luck on yourself and having everyone around you experience good luck, too. Or casting a spell that successfully improves your workplace’s vibe, only to find out that the mean coworker nobody likes finally got fired, and that’s why everyone is more relaxed and cheerful. Or, more negatively, you do get that promotion you cast for, but now you’re saddled with more work than you can handle, because your bosses think you’re highly capable of it all!

The spell does absolutely nothing. Perhaps one of the more common ways a spell can go wrong, this is exactly what it says on the tin. You put the energy in, you did all the steps, but the spell just… doesn’t go anywhere. In other words, it fizzles and simply doesn’t work at all.

As with most topics in witchcraft, there’s an infinite amount of nuance to apply here. There are more ways spells can go wrong, and not all of these things would necessarily be considered “going wrong.”

It may be worth deducing why the spell went wrong. Was it the materials? The petition or incantation? A lack of energy, or maybe an overabundance? Spirit influence? Protections surrounding the target? Knowing what exactly went wrong can help you prevent the same issues in the future, but it can also help you to better fix the spell in the moment.

Preventatives

The particulars are going to depend heavily on your personal practice, the type of spell you’re doing, and how detailed you want to get. These suggestions are based on things I personally take into account when I’m trying to close loopholes and prevent unwanted outcomes.

Be specific in your wording. Especially if your spell has any kind of spoken or written component, be as specific as you can. “Draw money to me” is a general sentiment that could absolutely work, but what money is it bringing in? A bonus at work? A dollar on the street? A gift from grandma? Inheritance? It could be anything at that point. “Draw good, repeat customers to my small business to help me reach my profit goal of $10,000 before the end of the year” is specific, focused, and measurable. There isn’t much room for surprise side effects.

Choose ingredients carefully. Work with ingredients whose purposes you know. In my spell recipes, I list every ingredient’s correspondence, because in my practice, those things matter. Ensure that the “active ingredients” in your spell align with your goal properly. Rogue elements create rogue effects!

Include failsafe measures. As in, create ways you can cancel the spell at any point. This can have the side effect of making your spells easier to undo, particularly if your target is also a witch who understands how you construct your spells. If doing this, it’s best to create a method that is obscured and unique to you.

Add ingredients or instructions specifically to avoid particular side effects or outcomes. Find a component or two that can protect your working from unwanted effects, backfires, and interference. Include instructions for the spell for things it shouldn’t do. For example, trying to create issues for one particular person at work shouldn’t harm their innocent teammates.

Undo It

The first step to consider is undoing the spell. Not all paradigms allow for this, so it may not be possible for you. For me, it depends on the particular spell and how much change it’s created. The bigger the impact, the less likely a simple undo will work.

Still, it’s worth a try. Undoing a spell might take a few forms, depending on how you originally cast it:

Take the spell apart. Disassemble the spell into its components and cleanse them of the spell’s energy.

Destroy the vessel and components. Burning, tearing, burying, flushing, throwing away, and so forth. Be careful to not bury things that could harm the earth, animals, or people — including glass, salt, and plastics. Compost and recycle when you can.

Dismiss spirits working within the spell. End the contract around the spell’s working and request that the spirits stop powering it. You could also request their assistance in undoing the spell. You may have to make offerings either way, depending on the terms of your agreement.

Perform the spell in reverse. This includes speaking incantations backwards, performing all actions backwards, taking components apart, re-cleansing, and putting things away where you originally got them from.

Draw the spell’s energy/effects out of the target’s body and/or the affected area. Using energy work, absorb the spell’s energy into a vessel. Capture it and either allow it to dissipate or bottle it up to keep it in check. I don’t recommend absorbing the energy into yourself, as that may draw the spell’s unwanted effects to you (or make them worse).

I typically employ a combination of strategies to undo a spell, if it’s possible in the first place. If it’s a simple spell, performing it in reverse is the easiest method. I’ll then cleanse, destroy, and dispose of the materials.

But when it isn’t possible to simply undo the spell…

Cast Another Spell

…The answer might be to cast another one. In my mind, there are several ways to do this.

The first is to cast a spell to negate the original’s effects completely. I would approach this method the same way as any other spell. Focus on the effects you’re looking to negate, and cast accordingly. A banishing spell would work well for this to shoo away the spell’s energy, but a cleansing spell to clear the target would also work. Or, you can get more specific. For example, if a spell has generated a string of unlucky events, you could cast a spell for good luck in order to nullify the bad luck of the first spell. The goal would be to cancel out the original spell’s effects in some way.

The second way is to cast a spell to adjust the original’s outcome. There are a lot of ways to do this. You could directly modify the original spell by adding or removing ingredients that might’ve caused the negative outcome, redo written or spoken incantations/petitions, or cast a “companion spell” to redirect the original’s energy to a more favorable end. For example, in a money spell that’s giving everyone else good fortune, you could place a magnet with your personal information on it atop the spell vessel to draw money to you rather than the people around you. The idea here is not to end the original spell, but to realign it to your particular needs.

Another way is to cast a spell specifically to control side effects. Sometimes, a spell can’t be undone, and you can’t easily modify the main outcomes (particularly true if the negative events caused by the spell happen quickly or outside your control). Or maybe the bulk of the spell worked properly, but there’s one or two minor negative side effects you don’t want to continue. The method for this would be similar to adjusting the original spell’s outcome, but on a smaller scale and in a less direct fashion. For example, your job spell got you that promotion, hooray! But now you’re stressed out by training someone to take your place, and you’re learning your new position. You can cast a spell to reduce stress or prevent people from piling additional work on you while you adjust, controlling the side effects of the promotion.

A way I use for high-stakes spells is to cast wards or other protections before casting the main spell to prevent backfire or unwanted effects ahead of time. I often do this for spells surrounding situations that are delicate or that need extra care. In my case, it’s a general, long-term ward against bad luck on a wider scale, and it catches negative spell side effects as part of its job. You can set up temporary wards if you prefer, or make them for very specific purposes. Whatever works for you.

Cast the same spell again. This isn’t my usual go-to, unless I’m trying a new spell method or ingredient I’m unfamiliar with. I’ll usually recommend trying the same spell again when the first casting does absolutely nothing, since multiple castings can make a spell stronger and more effective. However, if a spell backfires or otherwise causes undesirable effects, I wouldn’t really recommend it, as the negative effects can compound, too, if it misfires again.

Ask for Help

If the problems caused by your spell are too big for you to handle on your own, it’s okay to reach out for help! Whether you’re looking for suggestions and advice or hands-on assistance, knowing when and how to ask for help is a critical skill.

Ask the witchcraft community (or your witchy friends) questions. Join a Discord, forum, Tumblr community, or other witchy space. Make a post to explain your situation and request suggestions, advice, and ideas to deal with the situation at large. Not all suggestions will be entirely helpful, but you’ll at least get some new perspectives to shed light on your situation. If people you know directly (in real life or online) practice witchcraft, see what they think.

Chat with spirits. Especially if you already work with spirits or if spirits helped you to cast/power the original spell, this can be a solid way to come up with a solution that will work. Use your preferred method of communication to discuss the situation. If possible, see if they’ll help you either undo or mitigate the spell’s unwanted results.

Ask non-witchy friends for advice. Their advice will probably be mundane, but sometimes, those are the best solutions. Outside perspectives are useful to recontextualize problems and come up with solutions you wouldn’t have otherwise considered.

Find books, videos, tutorials, blog posts, and other resources on the subject. When all else fails, or when you’re a little shy about asking for help directly, there are still resources out there to help you solve your dilemmas. Just remember to vet your sources before naively following instructions given to you.

Deal with Consequences Mundanely

Sometimes, there’s just nothing for it. Whether you don’t have time and energy or you’ve already tried more magic and had it fail, there are times when you have to turn to the mundane. Depending on the severity of the situation you’re in, solutions will vary in their successfulness. And honestly, that’s just how it is sometimes. Sometimes, things don’t wrap up nicely and easily and neatly.

With that said, here are a handful of mundane responses and solutions I’ve turned to after spells went wrong (and couldn’t be otherwise fixed):

Come clean and apologize. Particularly applicable when you’re doing a spell on or for another person, sometimes, there’s just nothing else to do but admit you fucked up. If the person impacted by the spell’s effects, directly or indirectly, isn’t a magical practitioner themselves, you could simply apologize for meddling in the situation. On the other hand, if you’ve harmed or offended a spirit with your spellwork, you might make an offering to apologize for the trouble you’ve caused.

Come up with mundane strategies for damage control. Depending on how severe the spell’s negative effects are, the level of effort for this is going to obviously vary. It could be anything from redoing your household budget to breaking out the toolbox for repairs to building an actual fence to making dinner. Your solution is going to depend on your problem. Think strategically.

Seek out new, improved coping mechanisms. Whether you’re looking to resolve feelings that are caused by the spell’s backfire or ones that made you cast in the first place, sometimes, a bit of self-care is the best solution. Consider why you cast the spell in the first place — lack of control, poor self-worth, low confidence? Or was it just because you felt it could help you with a little boost to the work you were already doing? It’s worth thinking about. What mundane safety nets do you have in place?

Let it go. Perhaps the most difficult option: Just letting the bad result be. Moving on from it. Taking the lumps and the lesson, and walking away. Giving up is a skill. It’s not a moral failing to let things go. If fighting will only make things worse, or if you’re tired of trying to fix it, it’s okay to just… let it be a failure.

Conclusions

Again, this is far from comprehensive. The suggestions here are basic ideas to help inspire you to form your own opinions and solutions. It’s smart to consider these things in advance! As my mother always says, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

I have plans to expand the idea of “When Witching Goes Wrong” into a wider series of posts, each focusing on a very specific problem, spell type, or solution (like a post just about ways to undo a spell, for example). Those are likely to include true stories about things I’ve personally fucked up… which are always the best witchy stories, in my opinion. Lol.

If you're interested in more WWGW entries, check out the masterpost.

Anyhow! If you got something out of this post or my other work, consider tossing a couple dollars in my tip jar. Support goes toward bills and keeping our household fed and healthy, so it’s very much appreciated. Supporters got to see this post a full week early!

If there’s a particular subject you want to see covered, feel free to send me an ask or leave a comment on this post (or any of the posts in the series!). As long as it’s something I actually have experience with, I’m happy to cover just about anything.

[caraetdeul]

Impulsive Decisions

Kwon Soonyoung a.k.a. Hoshi x fem!reader

His love language is quality time and doing impulsive decisions together.

TW: slight swearing, stressful workload, and not proofread yet but other than that, there's nothing but fluff

A/n: I'm so sorry it took me so long to post another fic. These past few weeks had been very hectic but now that I finally got a few moments to breathe, I could finally come back to writing. That's why this one's a bit shortrr than usual but I've been dying to post something asksjskjs. Anyways, thank you for waiting for me and enjoy reading, caratdeuls!

~Main Masterlist~

“What the hell are you doing?”

The scissors in your hand froze just as it snipped a portion of your bangs. Your eyes zoned in on the reflection of Soonyoung by the left side of the mirror, leaning on his side by the door. You rolled your eyes at the smug look on his face. It wasn’t often that he got to catch you off guard so you know that he’s already gonna try his best to milk this as best as he can.

“Cutting my hair.”

“And do pray tell, why are you cutting your hair at this time of night?”

You sighed, finally turning around to face him, “I’m too stressed and bored to do anything else.”

Soonyoung’s eyes softened. He stepped closer to you, his hands resting on your hips as his eyes finally took note of the dark bags under your eyes and hunched shoulders. Your hands circled around his neck before resting your chin on his chest, tired but loving eyes gazing upon him.

You chuckled quietly, “And besides, I’ve been meaning to cut my hair for so long now. I just needed the right motivation and what’s better motivation than the need to have a break.”

He hummed. There was a lull in the conversation as you watched him take one of his hands off your hip and bring it up to your hair. He narrowed his eyes at you, curiosity and  something else you can’t pinpoint was glinting in his eyes, “Wait a minute, you can cut your own hair?”

“Yep.”

“And you’ve been cutting your hair this whole time?”

“More or less, yeah.”

“Huh.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at the way he lit up with this information. You were taken aback when he suddenly smushed your cheeks with his hands, his whole face just beaming with excitement, “Can you do anything else with your hair? Like, I don’t know, bleach it or something?”

Now, it was your turn to get curious. You scrunched your eyebrows, scanning his face for any sign of where he was going with this question before giving up and slowly nodding your head. You didn’t think it was possible but his smile definitely got wider. And just as you opened your mouth to ask him about it, he bombarded you with kisses all over your face before walking away and out towards the direction of your apartment’s door. You could faintly hear his voice shouting a short “I’ll be back.” before you heard the door slam shut.

It took you a few more minutes of just standing in the middle of your bathroom, trying to comprehend what the hell actually happened. You then shrugged your shoulders before turning back to the mirror to continue your impulsive decision. Your boyfriend was being weird but then again, when was the last time you actually spent time with him without him getting weird all of a sudden? Don’t get it wrong though, he still had his serious moments when the situation deemed it necessary but you’ll be damned if you said that weirdness didn’t run through his veins more than blood did. Looking back at that moment earlier when that cute-as-hell smile on his face showed up that also makes his eyes disappear, all will definitely be damned if you didn’t admit how much you loved that side of his.

  Time passed and you honestly forgot much about what happened. You were done with messing with your hair and were now back to grinding for your research assignment that you’ve been fretting over for the last few hours. You were doing your best but as of now, your “best” is kind of leaning towards doing half-baked content and you just don’t have the energy to do any better. Not when your eyes were already drooping and your body was slowly inching down into a lying position on your couch. Pressing the last few buttons on your keyboard, you exhaled deeply as you let exhaustion finally overwhelm your body.

You didn’t even notice how you were already on the brink of falling asleep. You were only reminded of it when your whole body literally jumped out of the couch from the slam of the apartment door closing.

“What the fuck…” you mutter under your breath. You could hear someone calling out your name but with your brain still muddled from your unplanned nap, the words could only enter one ear and exit straight out of the other. It’s only when you feel someone hugging you from behind the couch did you actually come back to reality.

Blinking very slowly, your eyes did their best to focus on the head, which you now realized was your boyfriend’s, that was resting on your shoulder. He whispered a sorry into your ear once he realized that he had woken you up before kissing your cheek to solidify his apology. The smell of his perfume almost consumed your whole mind and being but the sparkle in his eyes as he waited for you to properly respond to him stopped you from getting any more distracted.

“Yes, babe?” you hummed.

“Will you please help me with something?” he whispered.

Soonyoung probably felt the way your whole demeanor immediately changed with concern over the matter of his question because he quickly backtracked to avoid any miscommunication. He immediately rounded the couch and plopped down beside you before reassuring you, “No, don’t worry. I didn’t do anything bad, I promise.”

“You also said that the last time you asked me that question and now, I can’t even buy anything from the grocery store without sales clerks eyeing me down every single time.”

He gasped dramatically, the palm of his hand splayed out over his chest as he tried to defend himself, “That was not my fault!”

You raised an eyebrow, your arms crossed against your chest. You might be tired but you’re definitely not dumb enough to believe that. And by the looks of it, Soonyoung also knew it.

He sighed dejectedly, raising his hands up in the air in surrender, “Okay, fine. Point taken. But just this once, please listen?”

Those damn puppy eyes will be the death of you one day. Not today, but someday.

“Ugh, fine. What is it?” you grumbled, rolling your eyes with affection when he pumped his fists in the air. He’s such a dork. Your dork.

“Okay, so. I probably didn’t think this through properly and maybe I should’ve actually asked you first before buying it. I mean at first, I thought about you just cutting my hair but then again, I didn’t know if your cutting skills were just catered to you and not really to other people. Or maybe you could only, like, cut hair for women and not for men because it’s a whole different style and I didn’t really want to force you to learn something else when I know how much workload you had been under for the past few da—”

“Babe,” you interrupted chuckling, closing your hands around his, “What do you need?”

But instead of answering, he removed his hands from under yours. Your lips ticked downwards at the loss of contact but before you could react properly, a paper bag was suddenly placed on your hands. You eyed the bag for a bit, unsure if you should open it or not. But you didn’t have to do anything else as Soonyoung opened the bag for you and took out a box of hair dye. He then grabbed your hands with a pout and pleading eyes and held them close between you.

“Will you please dye my hair?”

You blinked once. Twice. Thrice. You know what, it doesn’t matter. You blinked a bunch of times before actually letting the question sink in.

Soonyoung wanted you to dye his hair.

Your boyfriend wanted you to dye his hair.

Your boyfriend who is an idol wanted you to dye his hair that’s been loved not just by you but by a million other people too.

You moved closer until your faces were only inches away before murmuring, “Do you want me to die?”

“W-what?”

“Soons,” you sighed, “You’re an idol. A well-known and beloved star. I can’t dye your hair just like that.”

“Why not?” he pleaded, his whole face falling with confusion and disappointment. Your eyes softened at the pitiful sight but you still can’t find a good reason behind this.

You bit your lip before asking, “Why do you even want me to do it?”

“Well,” he paused, his eyes flitting from your face to the both of your hands that were still holding each other, “I couldn’t let you make impulsive decisions by yourself. I wanted to do it with you.”

Your heart warmed at the thought, a small smile gracing your lips. You breathed deeply, pursing your lips in thought. Maybe you were too easily read or maybe you’ve been with each other for so long now but the sudden flash of anticipation and hope that crossed your boyfriend’s face definitely told you how much he knew you. Because you didn’t even get a word of approval out of your mouth before he jumped out of the couch with a resounding yes. You laughed out loud at the little dance he made as he leaped around the living room in excitement.

“On one condition,” you declared, his body immediately stopping mid-leap before looking at you with raised eyebrows, “There will be no complaints nor regrets after this.”

He scoffed in disbelief, “Do you really think I’ll regret this?”

“Yep.”

“Baby, nothing you do will ever make me regret trusting you.”

You couldn’t help but smile at that. Freaking hell, how did you get so lucky?

Needless to say, you both spent most of the night dyeing his hair and mimicking the different possible reactions of his fans once he went public with his new hair. You may have slept late but the fun and quality time you spent together was totally worth it. Besides, waking up to comments and tweets from his fans about how jealous they are of your relationship and how well you dyed his hair was definitely the cherry on top.

Taglist: @moonwonuu @belladaises @porridgesblog @sasaapportela @allys-reads @clownprincehoeshi @yoonzzziino @gyuguys

[dartlekey]

Up and down goes the small pink pill, bouncing across Eddie’s hand. He twists it between his fingers, bounces it across his knuckles - it glances off one of his many rings occasionally, but never drops, is always caught by a steady palm, and flicked back into rotation. Steve watches idly - the movement is mesmerizing, even more so because he’s a little high, relaxing on Eddie’s narrow bed as Eddie scribbles into a notebook. 

Whether the scribbles are song lyrics or campaign ideas Steve doesn’t know; he’s asked before, but Eddie wouldn’t tell. He’s been weirdly uptight all day, actually, more quiet than usual, but asked Steve to stay when he offered to fuck off if Eddie needed some space. (It’d make sense if Eddie needed space, really; they’ve been hanging out so much recently, but there’s something about each other’s company that makes both of them feel safe, and neither of them usually gets much of that, anymore.)

“Okay, I’ll bite,” Steve says, stubbing out the joint in Eddie’s bedside ashtray. “What kinda pill is that?”

Eddie doesn’t glance up, but Steve feels the weight of his attention shift as his fingers pinch the tablet to stillness, at least for the moment. “Estrogen,” he says, sounding contemplative. “The other kind of E.”

Steve frowns, because he’s a little faded, sure, but not high enough for Eddie to be this confusing. “Wait, isn’t that like, hormones? Thought you only sold drugs.”

“Yeah, this is just for me,” Eddie says, then shrugs. “Maybe. I don’t know.”

Steve sits up, runs a hand through his hair - the kids like to joke about him having a “Mom-Sense” like Peter Parker has a “Spidey-Sense” (whoever the fuck that is), and they’re not wrong; he can always tell when someone is struggling with themselves. “Yeah?”

Eddie does look up at him, then. Doesn’t exactly look nervous, more… tired, if anything. 

“I think I’m a girl.”

Steve blinks, considers this. Doesn’t consider doubting Eddie, because that’d be fucking stupid - Eddie likes to act impulsive, but someone who can plan eleven-hour campaigns and still have four super-geniuses howling with shock and betrayal at the end of it? Someone like that doesn’t speak without thought. “How come?”

Eddie huffs out a long breath, spins around in the wobbly desk chair. “Wheeler Junior was being a sore loser, said I’m just like his sister. I know he was trying to piss me off, but I can’t stop thinking about it. The thought makes me fucking giddy.”

Steve nods a few times, plucks at a loose thread on Eddie’s comforter. “Huh. Yeah, kind of makes sense, actually.”

Eddie squints at him. “It does?”

Steve shrugs, a little embarrassed, but the weed has loosened his tongue enough to admit, “You’re pretty.”

Eddie raises an eyebrow, but there’s a smile tugging at the corner of his - her (?) mouth. ”Boys can be pretty.”

“Yeah, but you’re like, girl-pretty. Don’t laugh, it’s a thing! It’s like - like, I can see a guy and go yeah, he’s good looking, and that’s it and I go about my day, but with girls there’s like this sense of awe? It’s like, wow, she’s pretty, can I get her to smile? I kinda wanna know what her hair smells like.”

Eddie stares at him incredulously, and Steve gives an annoyed huff, only just manages to restrain himself from overexplaining how last week he actually thought he was bi for a hot second, before he realized that apart from Eddie, guys still seem about as sexually alluring as housetrained rats.

Well, not apart from Eddie, now, because it turns out Eddie is a girl. Problem solved.

“So what do I call you now?”

“Hmm?”

“Like…” Steve waves his hand vaguely. “Do you want a new name? Or something?”

Eddie starts bouncing the pill across her fingers again. “No, Eddie is fine. It’s… neutral, I like that. But use girl words, I guess?”

Steve frowns. Maybe he is too high for this. “Like… babe? Sweetheart?”

Eddie barely manages to tamp down on a laugh. “Like she and her, dude. Like Eddie’s driving the other girls to Nancy’s because Robin doesn’t have a car and Max and El are underage. Five minutes as a girl and you already want to climb me like a tree, is that it?”

Steve blushes, lobs Eddie’s dog-eared copy of the Silmarillion at her, which she dodges expertly, cackling in that wild way that she has. Still Eddie. Still pretty. “Shut up, it’s not like that,” Steve grumbles, and Eddie grins, tugging her hair in front of her mouth. “Keep telling yourself that, big boy.”

[bouncybongfairy]

Literally love you, hope you're taking requests! Could you do the bayverse boys with a goth stoner?

Smoke Sesh

TMNT x Fem Goth Stoner Reader

Summary: After ditching class for a smoke break, you're approached by two men with bad intentions. The TMNTs help you escape the alleyway you're cornered in, you guys have a smoke sesh in their van.

Word Count: 1.0k+

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

It was second period and the monotone voice of your English teacher was putting everyone to sleep. Even the teacher wasn’t into it, just reading aloud from the book while sitting at her desk. Not even bothering to look up as she did so. You picked up your bag before quietly walking out of the classroom. As long as you were quiet, the teacher didn’t care or notice if anyone left. There were a couple of security guards that you had to pass, you would feed them an excuse about going to the nurse’s office and usually, they bought it. As you walk past the front gates of your school, you pull your black cardigan closer to your body. You didn’t realize it was so cold outside, your nose was becoming sensitive and runny. Stopping in a narrow alleyway between two apartment buildings, you rummage through your bag.

Your older sister woke up late for work this morning and was only able to take a couple of puffs out of the blunt she rolled before leaving. You took advantage of this and hastily threw it in your bag before leaving. Luckily it wasn’t bent or damaged to the point of being unsmokeable. After you finally find the lighter you put it into your blunt and take the first drag. It was like you could feel the weed pushing the anxiety out of your body. The rain was getting heavy but it didn’t bother you one bit. Not only were you being kept dry from a fire escape above you, on colder days, but your make-up also lasted much longer because it wasn’t exposed to extreme heat. You were wearing a long black maxi skirt and a thin long-sleeve, both in black; along with black riot boots. Not being able to resist, you take a couple of pictures. 

“I bet those pictures came real nice,” a voice growled from the left of you. You jumped and whipped your body to see who spoke. Feeling your heart drop into your stomach, you slowly start to back up; trying to gain as much space between each other.

“Oh, my dad is actually about to pick me up, I have to go,” you lied as you began to walk away, you were walking backward because you were scared to turn your back to him.

“So soon, I’m sure you can be a little late,” the creep said, starting to charge you. As he did so you turned but were stopped by a truck that broke directly in front of you. 

“Get in,” one of the passengers said as the sliding door rolled open. You didn’t even look at who was in the vehicle, you were so desperate to get out of the current situation that you didn’t think twice. You took a deep breath and tried to calm yourself down but it was hard considering the severity of what could have happened. After a few moments and tears, you looked up and realized who was in your company. When you saw the turtles you passed out momentarily. When you came to, one of them was fanning you. You immediately sat up but Donnie asked you to calm down. 

“Woah woah, don’t sit up too fast. You had a vasovagal response which means you lost consciousness due to a lack of blood flow to the brain. You are totally okay though and your vitals are normal. Did anything happen in the alleyway that might cause you to need medical attention?” Donnie said, lifting his goggles up so you could see his eyes. 

“No, I’m just shaken up a bit,” you said, sitting up on a seat in the back of the van. 

“I’m sure, glad everything turned out okay,” Donnie said. 

“Yeah because you’re way too hot to die,” Mikey said, plopping down next to you.

“Mike! Sorry, he has impulse control issues,” Raph said as he drove. 

“Dude! Don’t say that in front of my new hot, spooky, witch girlfriend,” he whispered, blocking your view of his mouth in an attempt to stop you from seeing what he said. 

“Is it okay if I smoke in here,” you asked? The van got quiet, the boys looking around at each other without saying anything. 

“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea,” Leo said.

“I don’t know, she just went through a traumatic thing. If she’s used to smoking then maybe she needs it to help her calm down, you know?” Mikey said. 

“What about contact high?” Raph asked. 

“Technically the effects would not be significant unless she was blowing the smoke directly in your face or the car filled with a dense enough smoke,” Donnie explained. 

“So is that a yes?” you asked, putting the blunt into your mouth and waiting for a response before lighting it. 

After nobody disagreed you lit it again and took a drag, you laughed when you noticed that they were all looking at you. They looked away for a second but it didn’t take long before all their eyes were on you again. At this point Raph parked the van and opened the windows. You were making subtle conversation, asking them if they ever smoked before. As expected, they all haven’t and were surprised when you offered them the blunt. Mikey went to grab it without hesitation and Leo stopped him. After a little persuasion, Mikey grabbed it and took a drag. The blunt in your hand was still pretty big but in his hand it looked like a tiny little twig. He immediately started coughing which made his brothers look around in a worried way. The effects were immediate and he started laughing and joking more than usual if that’s possible. This hummored his brothers, lightening the mood of the situation. 

“I just want to thank you guys again for saving me from that situation,” you said again, putting out the roach. 

“No worries girl, I'd always be there for my goth girlfriend,” Mikey said, wrapping his arm around you. 

“I appreciated that,” you joked back, giving him a kiss on his cheek; leaving a black lipstick mark.

[johnslittlespoon]

thinking unholy thoughts of gale making john come untouched with only his fingers in the biker au… maybe john didn’t even know it was possible so when gale keeps going he gets confused and is like “i’m good im ready” but gale keeps going 😅

au post | ohhh man okay. yeah feeling super extremely sane and normal about this, never been better! thanks! ~2k words of nsfw filth below the cut sighhhh

okay, prefaced with a little more world building in my last post since we're really diving into this au now LOL. ofc things might change when i actually write it, but this is how i'm feeling things will go rn!

re: 'maybe john didn't even know it was possible'– like i said in the drabble before this, he's fooled around a little with curt, but nothing more than getting a bit handsy. he's had a girlfriend for around a year, so they were probably serious enough to get up to things too, but straight sex is very different from gay sex obviously.

the internet exists, and during the time john is pining(thirsting) over gale, he probably does his fair share of googling 'blond man with tattoos fucks brunet man', but really he's kinda intimidated by a lot of stuff, so he doesn't delve too deep into that world. when he and gale start seeing each other and john realizes they're gonna move past making out eventually (because gale is almost such a gentleman sometimes that john wants to bash his head in in his impatience), he probably psychs himself out a bit and gets into his own head and is like fuck.

gale's had years to gain experience and what if he's not good enough or does something stupid or or or, on and on. obviously these worries are completely unfounded because gale adores him and would never pressure him and doesn't expect them to just jump right into things; half of the reason he probably drags things out is because he wants to be absolutely certain things are on john's terms, and that john's not just being horny and impulsive.

john probably ends up trying to do some research so he can yk. pick up some tips, because he's got all the enthusiasm he needs when he thinks about getting to drop to his knees for gale, but he has no idea what he's doing and he doesn't realize everyone learns as they go because he's dumb (/fond) and overthinks everything. (whatever he ends up learning doesn't matter anyway, because all coherent thought leaves his head when they do start doing stuff together and gale is so encouraging and easygoing that he feels ridiculous for ever worrying.)

all that is to say that yeah, he's got like no firsthand experience when it comes to anything past the basics or anything he hasn't been doing by himself. everything is fresh and exciting and as much as he loves just hanging around gale, he's also always needy and horny (gets told he's "insatiable" quite a few times by gale) so they get up to a lot of shit and it's unfair how good gale is in bed and how he knows exactly which buttons to press to get john worked up.

at the time this incident happens, gale's already fingered john a few times, but it's always just as a build up/foreplay, usually followed or joined with gale's other hand or lips around john's cock. they haven't had sex yet, and it feels really nice when gale does this, but john always just kinda sees it as foreplay and it doesn't last for long.

so when gale's got john laid in his bed one sunny afternoon and they're making out and john starts getting whiny and squirmy from the stimulation of his fingers in him, and gale doesn't switch things up like he usually does, john's heart leaps because in his mind, surely gale's getting him ready for something else.

but he's frustrated because it feels like gale's purposefully avoiding hitting right where he needs him to, pants out gale's name against his lips, grasping the back of gale's shirt. starts rocking his hips down against his fingers, seeking it out, and gale rumbles out a "needy thing" before pressing a kiss to his cheek and crawling down the length of his body, settling himself between john's legs.

john props himself up on his elbows to watch, cheeks flushed and eyelids heavy, digging his fingers into the blanket instead. he lets out a little whine at the slow drag of gale's fingers, and that finally makes him cave, crooking his fingers just right, and john's lips part at the way the sudden surge of pleasure zings up his spine.

lets his elbows slide out from underneath himself, dropping back down into the pillow, satisfied he's finally getting what he's been waiting for since gale worked him open ten minutes ago. he waits for stimulation on his cock to join the fingers in him as usual, assuming that's why gale moved to lay there, but gale just keeps up the slow in and out and consistent brushes against his prostate and its embarrassing how much he's leaking all over his own stomach.

but then he has the thought that maybe gale's actually properly prepping him and his cock twitches and his breath catches and he props himself up again to find gale already watching him. he waits expectantly, too shy to ask, and gale doesn't offer him any confirmation, just pressing gentle kisses to his thighs and smiling when john's hips start to roll down against his fingers again.

john thinks that maybe gale's waiting for him to say he's ready, since he does often make him ask for what he wants, so even as his cheeks go hot, he gets out a breathy "gale, i'm– that's good, 'm ready."

but gale only chuckles quietly, nipping at his thigh to feel it twitch away, watching john in a way that makes him feel somehow even more exposed than he already is, and now he's even more confused and he feels like he's melting into the bed and gale's putting a little more pressure into each crook of his fingers and the sounds he's making are so whiny and high pitched that he wants to cover his own ears out of embarrassment.

"does it feel good, doll?" gale purrs, dragging john's eyes back to him, and he nods, twisting his hands in the blankets harder. it does feel good, enough so that heat is pooling in his stomach in a way that's both familiar and foreign, the sensation all different with no friction against his dick.

gale's working his hand a little faster and john's face burns at the realization that he's being finger–fucked like a girl and he drops back into the pillows, arms going too weak to hold himself up. his thighs are starting to tremble and gale murmurs that he's "making such a mess on yourself, baby, look at you" and john immediately reaches down to take his dick in his hand, but gale catches his wrist with his free hand, slowing his movements down, much to john's dismay.

"no hands today, john," he says gently, letting go of his wrist. "i want you to keep them at your side for me, can you do that?"

and john lets out a near hysterical noise but he obliges, grabbing fistfuls of the blanket again, head spinning at being given an instruction, biting down on the inside of his cheek when gale speeds his fingers up again with a "good job, baby."

the heat builds and builds as gale's fingers hit right where they need to each time, and it feels like he's just hanging on the edge of an orgasm for so long, unable to tip over that edge, eyes blurring over from how overwhelming the drawn out sweet–hot pleasure is. he's mindlessly rocking his hips down and panting out little "ah ah ah"s with each thrust of gale's fingers and he's so close to lifting his hand from his side when a sob of frustration slips out.

but gale presses his lips to his thigh again, sucking at the sensitive skin there, pulls back to murmur a stream of "c'mon sweet thing, come on my fingers, show me how good you feel, you can do it" and john chokes out a cry as he clenches around his fingers and comes so hard he nearly blacks out, back arching and hips stuttering up like he can get friction that way.

gale's hand chases his jerking movements, continuing to fuck him on his fingers as john paints his own stomach, cock pulsing, feeling like he's just going to keep coming and coming, mewling desperately and shaking like a leaf and seeing stars behind his closed eyelids.

he closes his thighs against gale's sides when it starts to be too much, hands shaking when reaches down to tiredly push at him, hips stuttering away from the stimulation, hiccupping as he tries to catch his breath. he can feel hot tears soaking into the hair at his temples, lips parted in surprise, shuddering when gale lets his movements slow down until his fingers go still.

john whines when he pulls them out, despite his efforts to squirm away from them moments before, and gale presses a kiss to his hip before he crawls back up his body, cupping john's face with the hand not covered in lube, and john's eyes flutter open, bleary when they focus in on the expression of awe on gale's face.

"fuck, john," gale sounds almost as breathless as him. "you're crying, baby. was that okay?" john nods shakily, tilting his chin up for a kiss, and gale leans down without missing a beat, kissing him so deep it feels like he wants to devour him. mumbles "you have no idea what you do to me" against john's lips, brushing his fingers over the tear streaks on either side of his face, peppering his red cheeks with light kisses before pulling back again.

"felt good?" he murmurs, and john chokes out a laugh at the understatement, draping his wrist over his forehead. "really good," he breathes out, flushing when he opens his mouth again, "didn't know that was, um. a thing." and gale half laughs, half groans at the admission, rolling his hips down, and john sucks in a sharp breath at the drag of his pants, cock twitching even after all that.

gale doesn't mind; he's more than happy to watch his pretty boy fall apart on his fingers, mouth, cock, as many times as john lets him.

[hopepetal]

Masterlist

Read on AO3!

Part Four!

Reblogs and comments are much appreciated! :)

@applestruda

Impulse fell back into control of his own body in the same way one snapped out of a particularly long ADHD-induced dissociative state. Panicked, unthinking, and wondering how much time has it been? 

The book was still burning as Impulse instinctively reached out to snatch it from the flames, only fully processing a moment later that maybe he shouldn’t have grabbed something that was still actively on fire. With a cry of pain and shock, Impulse dropped the book onto the ground as the rain began to beat down more heavily. Stumbling back, he tripped over his own feet and fell, landing with a soft noise of pain as he held his injured hand close to his chest. 

For a moment, he sat there, the small fire put out by the heavy rain far too late. A fear the likes of which he had never felt before sat in his chest, causing his heart to race. 

What just happened to me? Is it going to happen again? My hand hurts I need to get it bandaged I need to TELL someone I can’t tell anyone what if it happens again what if I lose control and hurt someone what if– 

“Impulse?”

Once again, he was yanked from his spiraling thoughts by someone calling his name. Turning around perhaps just a bit too quickly, Impulse looked up to see Scar, sopping wet from the rain, standing behind him. “Scar,” he breathed out, equal parts relieved and terrified. “Scar, are you– are you okay?”

Scar frowned, his eyes immediately landing on Impulse’s burnt hand. “I… think I should be asking you that, Impulse. C’mere, we’re gonna get that all fixed up.” He carefully helped Impulse to his feet. “I’m not gonna ask what happened,” he began as they walked back to the main camp through the rain, “so don’t worry about that. But…” He sighed. “Just… Impulse, I– we– don’t want you to be suffering alone. We’re knights. We’re friends. We’re in this together.” 

Impulse nodded, trying to swallow that stubborn lump in his throat. “Yeah. Thanks, Scar.”

Mumbo, wearing a raincoat and holding an umbrella like any normal person would, waved to the two when they approached the tents. “Did you get caught in the rain?” he shouted, if only to be heard over the downpour. 

“No,” Scar called back, “we’re just naturally this wet!” 

“Oh, okay! Um, Grian and Pearl aren’t around, because, well, you know. Their wings,” Mumbo tried to explain, “their wings don’t– why am I explaining this to you, you both know this, goodness gracious…”

“Thanks Mumbo,” Scar said anyway, “are you gonna get inside? I don’t think this storm is gonna let up any time soon.” 

Mumbo shook his head. “This is actually the perfect time for me to study the possibility of harnessing lightning for power! Theoretically, it could work, but theoretically it could also blow me up. And to be honest, I can’t wait to see which one it is.”

“Have fun!” Scar called after him, before leading Impulse to the swaggon. Instead of tents like the other knights, he usually just stayed in the same place he did before joining the knights. “I have bandages and burn stuff here, because goodness knows I burn myself plenty when cooking. Just sit down right there…” He quickly rifled through one of his chests, before pulling out clean bandages and burn ointment. “Aaand I should have some water– how are you feeling, by the way?– here it is!”

As Scar helped Impulse cool the burn and clean his hand, Impulse was at a loss for words. Scar seemed to take note of that after a few minutes of him being unresponsive to the attempts at keeping the mood light hearted, and continued to silently bandage the treated burns. 

“I’m sorry,” Impulse began, trying to keep his voice from shaking. “I don’t know what I was thinking.” 

Scar chuckled softly, understanding shining through in his eyes. “I think I’d know that feeling better than anyone, Impulse. You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. I know I’ve done more than my fair share of… poorly thought out things… in the past.” 

Impulse had to bite back a laugh. “Yeah, I can think of a couple more memorable ones,” he admitted, “but I just… I dunno, Scar. I…” He sighed. “What would you think if I wasn’t human?”

Scar didn’t even pause. “I mean, Impulse, we’ve been over this a million times before. If you weren’t human, none of the knights would be.” He began to put away the bandages, ointment, and leftover water. 

Impulse frowned, shaking his head. “That’s not…” He flexed his right hand, testing to see how much he could move still, before placing it back in his lap. “What do you think of me now?” he pressed, looking back up at Scar.  

Scar smiled, turning back to Impulse. “Oh, that’s easy. You’re strong, kind, passionate, smart, a really good teacher, an amazing fighter, you’re funny, you’re creative, and just… you’re a great friend.”

“But what if I wasn’t…” Impulse tried to figure out how to word the question, bouncing his leg slightly. “What if I wasn’t just me?” 

Scar thought for a moment, before shrugging. “Well, I don’t think there’s any problem with bein’ that! And, Impulse…” He sat down so that he could be at Impulse’s eye level, folding his hands in his lap and leaning forward. “You’re making it sound like there’s something wrong with being human.” He smiled kindly, but there was something that stopped it from reaching his eyes. “That’s what this is about, yeah? I’ve been… I’ve been thinking about it for a bit. With everything going on…”

Impulse shook his head, interrupting Scar. “No, no, no, there’s nothing wrong with being human! I just… what if the me I am isn’t good enough?”

For a moment, there was silence.

“Oh, Impulse.” Scar’s voice broke slightly on his name. “You are more than enough. You have always been. I’m so happy you’re one of my friends, a part of my life, you…” He took a deep breath, in and out. “If you could see the things you’ve done from an outside perspective, you’d see it– just how much you’ve changed and impacted lives. I…” he trailed off, caught for a moment in a fleeting memory. “I can say for a fact I’ve changed for the better since I met you. So please don’t ever say or think that you aren’t good enough. Because you are. Because you always have been.”

Impulse tried to blink away the tears that suddenly were welling up in his eyes, but it was too late. His vision blurred, and the next blink sent salty drops falling from his eyes to make dark spots on his fresh bandages. It was as if the dam burst with that, and tears began to fall in a steady stream as Impulse’s shoulders shook. 

All this pain, all this fear, all the self doubt and anxiety… and he wasn’t alone. He had never been, really. If it hadn’t been for him shutting the other knights out, he wouldn’t have ever ended up with a demon in his mind taking control whenever it wished. But now…

“Thank you, Scar,” Impulse got out, furiously wiping his eyes. “I… I think I needed to hear that.”

Scar nodded. “Of course. I… I can’t say I know exactly how you feel, and I wish I knew more to help you. But just… talk to us, okay? Or, gosh, I don’t know– talk to someone, at least! We won’t be able to help you if we don’t know you’re hurting.”

“Okay. Okay. Thank you. Thank you so much.” Impulse wiped away what he hoped to be the last of his tears, taking a few deep breaths to calm down. “I– I will. I promise I’ll talk to you guys more. And I’m really sorry about all of this.”

Scar waved his hand. “Ah, don’t be. We all have our moments.” He smiled tentatively. “Do you want to stay here with me and wait out the storm? We can make bets on if Mumbo’s new experiment blows up or not.”

Impulse grinned– a real, happy grin. “Sounds great.”

–

Somehow, things got better.

The first day Impulse woke up feeling well-rested, he could hardly believe it. But it continued to happen, again and again, until finally he was waking up at a much more normal time. 

“For you, maybe,” Grian had said, but the clear relief in his expression over Impulse’s “recovery” had taken away any snark intended. 

Slowly, Impulse began to heal. Not only from the burns, but from the exhaustion and lack of appetite as well. The animals seemed to forget all about their previous distrust of Impulse, though Jellie still was a little wary. He didn’t really mind, of course. The joy he felt from being able to settle back into his life again was enough.

The other knights were thrilled, too. It was like a fog had been lifted from the camp, and everything just felt… lighter.

“Alright.” Pearl interrupted the lively chatter during lunchtime about two weeks later, “we’re unfortunately getting a little low on vegetables and some other supplies. It’s been a while since Impulse and I brought back everything, and I don’t want it goin’ bad, ya hear?”

“Soup day?” Mumbo piped up, eyes wide. They’d all heard this speech a million times, and it was always something the knights looked forward to. 

Pearl nodded, smiling. “Soup day.”

“I don’t know why we call it soup day,” Grian mumbled, “it really ends up more like stew, if you ask me.”

Pearl rolled her eyes. “Because, goofball, it’s tradition! And also, soup sounds nicer than stew.”

And so, Impulse found himself paired up with Scar, who kept watch over the pot and stirred while he chopped vegetables. 

“Whew!” Scar wiped the sweat from his forehead, turning away from the fire. “It's been a while since I've cooked. I forgot how hot everything gets!”

Impulse laughed. “Yes, that tends to happen with fire. Shocking.”

“Oh, you hush!” Scar grabbed a large spoon, waving it sternly in Impulse's direction before turning back to the pot. “You just keep cutting those veggies, mister.”

“Aye aye, captain.” Impulse turned back to the cutting board, reaching for the knife that lay beside it. 

Do it.

Impulse froze. His hand stopped where it was, hovering just over the knife. Taking in a deep breath, he closed his eyes for a moment. He had to calm down. He was– he was just hearing things. Nothing was wrong. He was fine. The demon was gone. It had to be. It hadn’t spoken in weeks. Why would it show up again now?

Impulse picked up the knife, placing a washed and peeled carrot on the cutting board. He began to cut the carrot into thin slices with deft hands. In the background, he could hear Scar humming to himself as the fire crackled. 

It's just you and him. Alone. The words were like a fog settling over his mind, like icy hands gripping at his heart. An easy target.

Impulse's chopping stilled as he tensed up, before starting to cut again. His movements were sharper, harder, and one of the carrot slices flew off of the table. “Gosh–” He set the knife down, bending to pick the carrot slice up and throw it away. 

“You good, man?” Scar called from where he stood beside the fire, not turning to look away from the pot. “Havin' some troubles?”

He has his back to you.

“Nah,” Impulse joked, though his tone was a bit forced. “Just underestimated my own strength.” He straightened back up, gripping the edge of the table with his hands. 

No. No, no, no no no no. This couldn’t be real. It couldn’t be happening. Not again. Not now. Not after he’d finally started to be happy again. 

The voice cooed softly in his head, a persuasive siren song. It would take nothing at all to kill him. Impulse found his hand drifting toward the knife, unable to stop. To stab him in the back... He picked it up. Somehow, this was different from the possession. Yes... feel the thirst... spill his blood–!

The demon wasn’t making him do anything. This time, it made him want to.

“No!” Impulse breathed out, stumbling back. He threw the knife down on the table. “Sorry, Scar. I gotta go. I'll tell Grian to come out and help you.” 

Impulse fled, not sticking around to hear Scar's confused “Wait–!”

–

“...just worried, is all. I know you see it too. It’s like whatever happened–”

Whatever conversation Grian and Pearl were having before Impulse interrupted had probably been important by the sound of it, but Impulse didn’t really have the time to feel guilty about that. Panicked, he looked back and forth between them both, still panting slightly. “Grian?” he got out, trying to force his voice to stay calm, “Grian, I need you to go help Scar. I– I can’t…” He trailed off as he realized just how stupid this all sounded. 

Pearl took a step toward him, her face unreadable. “Are you feeling alright, Impulse?” she asked, and after a moment, Impulse swallowed and nodded. “Are you sure, mate? You’re looking awfully pale.”

Grian said nothing, but Impulse noticed how his wings had slightly spread out, colourful feathers slightly puffing up. Grian had never been surprised by anyone before– he somehow always knew when someone was coming. So unless he had been angry at Pearl for some reason (which, thinking about it, wasn’t all that unbelievable), it had to have been Impulse who had set him off. 

…right?

Impulse just tried to smile and nod. “Um. Yeah. Sorry.” His eyes kept drifting back to Grian, which Pearl noticed.

She turned to Grian and smacked him on the shoulder. “Hey. Birdbrain. That’s Impulse, mhm? Our friend? Pull yourself together, goodness gracious.”

Grian blinked, shaking his head slightly. “Oh– was I staring? Uh, yeah, sorry about that.” His wings slowly folded back behind him, and he lost the alert posture. “Sorry. What was happening?”

“Nothing,” Impulse got out. “I’m good. I promise.”

Pathetic. He was pathetic. It wasn’t even that long ago when he’d had that conversation with Scar about reaching out, and being more open with the other knights. Guess this was just another thing he managed to screw up instantly. 

Impulse began to back away from the two. “The uh. The soup! Yeah, the soup’s almost done. I’ll see you guys at dinner…?”

Pearl smiled, if only to put him at ease. “Of course. See you at dinner, Impulse.”

Impulse began to walk away, and it was only when Grian and Pearl started talking again in hushed tones was he reminded that the contract with the demon gave him enhanced hearing. Nevertheless, he didn’t want to invade on their privacy–

“I told you. You could see it in his eyes.” 

“Grian, not now.” 

…especially when this was clearly about him.

Impulse ran the rest of the way back to Scar, and was all-too relieved to see that Mumbo was there as well. “Hey. Sorry about that. I don’t know what came over me.” 

“Oh, it’s alright!” Scar called over to him, “we’re just about finished up, so don’t you worry!”

“I got to chop the vegetables,” Mumbo added, “but really, I’ve been thinking– it would be quite simple to just get an automatic…” He started to ramble about his idea of an automatic vegetable cutter, but Impulse found he couldn’t quite follow along as well as he’d hope to.

The demon was back. Or maybe it had never left. And not only could it speak to Impulse and possess him but it could influence him as well. 

Impulse was strong. He had trained all his life to hone his strength and skills. He couldn’t fly, couldn’t breathe underwater, couldn’t withstand a fiery blaze, and most certainly couldn’t teleport. But he was strong. In terms of pure physical strength, none of the other knights stood a chance.

And that terrified him. 

Dinner went by in a blur, and it felt as though barely a moment had passed by when Impulse laid down to sleep. He had been stuck in a sort of zoned out state ever since the demon had reappeared, and only now did his head feel more clear.

Today had been a warning. What happened with Scar– Impulse could’ve killed him. The fact that he hadn’t was frankly a miracle. But it would happen again. The demon would speak to him and he would pick up the knife and he wouldn’t be able to stop himself in time. 

Tomorrow.

Impulse would leave camp tomorrow, and he would run until he was far, far away from anyone he could hurt.

But for now, he needed to sleep.

[tgmsunmontue]

Online & Anonymous 8/16

Hangster. Explicit. Years before they meet in person Bradley and Jake strike up a friends-with-benefits relationship online. And then something more like an actual relationship.

Odd year = Bradley's POV and Even year = Jake's POV

>>Bradley chatting (bold and italics)

>>Jake chatting (italics)

2005/2006 2007 2008 2009 2010 2011 2012

2013 – Bradley

                When he gets the invitation to Top Gun he almost vibrates out of his seat in excitement. He keeps telling himself it’s excitement and not terror. He’s already going to be turning thirty this year, and while he might be a bit older than some of the other attendees he knows he’s unlikely to be the oldest. However he is older than his father was when he attended. He’s already older than his father was when he died and the idea that his father was married and had had a kid is mind boggling to him, because he doesn’t feel anywhere old enough to have either of those responsibilities, even if he’s coming around to the first one whenever he thinks about a potential future with Jas.

>>I got invited to a thing. An elite training thing. It’s sort of a big deal.

>>I’ll probably be busier than usual.

>>Like what?

>>Wait. Rangers? Delta Force? Pararescue?

>>Yeah. Something like that.

>>Fine. Keep your secrets.

>>You’re the one that said you want to keep some stuff for when we meet.

>>Can I change my mind?

>>Ask me again in 24 hours.

>>You’re pretty impulsive.

>>You like me being impulsive.

>>That’s true. I do.

>>Don’t want you to regret it though.

>>End of May isn’t that far away.

>>Assuming nothing happens again.

>>Yeah well. Fingers crossed.

>>Thinking about finally meeting you is the only gets me through some of my worst days.

>>No pressure.

                Bradley squeezes his lips between his teeth, wonders if he should apologize.

>>There is no pressure. I’m just… being honest with you.

>>I’ve had to lie about do much for so long, that even now it’s…

>>Well. I’ll never lie to you. Even if I think it’ll scare you.

>>This is where I get to be myself.

>>But you don’t need to worry about me not liking you.

>>I already love you.

>>Okay.

>>Well.

>>In the interests of being honest, do you want to know a secret?

>>Of course.

>>I’m scared of meeting you.

>>Why?

>>What if you’re not as perfect in person as you are through my phone?

>>Well, I’m not perfect.

>>At all.

>>Do you want me to share some of my gross habits with you?

>>I can do that if you think it would help.

>>Yeah. Go on.

>>Well, a recent one which drives my roommate absolutely batshit crazy, is I leave my moustache hair clippings all over the sink.

>>You have a moustache?

>>Yep. A new one. That long leave period I had last year when we were meant to meet up the second time? I started growing it.

>>Keeps my upper lip warm.

>>Do you look good?

>>I look like my dad.

>>Makes me feel closer to him.

>>I broke down and cried when I caught my reflection because I thought it was him.

>>I think mine is better, but I just wish he was here to joke with me about it.

>>Teach me how to take care of it.

>>All I’ve had are YouTube tutorials and it’s not quite the same.

>>If you’re watching online tutorials it definitely looks good.

>>Vain motherfucker.

                Bradley laughs but doesn’t bother disputing the fact, he likes to look good, and taking pride in his appearance is something that is necessary because it reflects on the Navy. He can’t say that specifically though.

>>What about you? Annoying habit?

>>I leave empty bottles and cups everywhere.

>>Not in the mess hall obviously, but everywhere else.

>>My friends despair of me.

>>I try and remember when I’m elsewhere, but I just keep forgetting.

>>Awful Southern manners.

…            …            …

                His seventeen-week stint at the Navy Fighter Weapons School begins and he doesn’t think he’s ever worked so hard in his life. He studies every waking moment, spends time with the ground crew asking questions about particular aspects of their jobs and their experiences, uses them to piece together a better understanding of the planes, although he’s already got an excellent understanding of most things, his obsession and upbringing in his youth meaning he’s knowledgeable about odd things, which sometimes get a raised eyebrow from one or two of the instructors. He does his best to ignore them.

                He and Jas have discovered SnapChat and started using that, not for conversations, just for staying connected and sending tiny little snippets of their day to each other, letting him know he’s thinking of him. Shots of morning coffee, books where he carefully covers the titles when it’s related to flying, the sky when it’s particularly pretty, his empty bed with the simple caption wish you were here.

                The seventeen weeks come to an end, he comes out on the top and he feels so much. He survived for a start, which is something he can admit now that he was worried about. God, he wants to ring Mav and Ice, and not just to brag, but to hear them be happy for him, although a part of him accepts he definitely wants to rub Pete’s face in it, that he is good enough. Of course it throws everything else into sharp relief and he wishes more than anything he could talk to his dad. He’s sitting in the lounge, just staring at the photos of previous Top Gun classes and 1986 is right there, an image that conjures so many mixed emotions.

                “Lieutenant Bradshaw. Thought you’d be out celebrating the win.”

                “Sir.”

                “Seriously. I’m surprised to see you here and not with the others.”

                “I will celebrate. Just. Having some mixed emotions sir,” he admits.

                “You don’t think you earnt the win?”

                Bradley blinks, because he’s not sure there’s a way to answer that question the right way, without sounding like he’s

                “I think it was an honor to be invited here and challenged by fellow aviators who are excellent in every respect. I worked hard and flew well. Just. Did you know my father died at Top Gun? During a hop?”

                “Bradshaw. I did wonder. Thought it was in bad taste to ask.”

                “No-one asked, but I suspect some are aware. No-one brought it up, sir.”

                “No, they’d probably take your lead on that. Well, I’ll leave you to it Lieutenant. Have a good evening.”

                “Thank you sir.”

…            …            …

>>How did you go?

>>Well, I didn’t wash out and I completed it.

>>That’s a pretty low bar.

>>Didn’t wash out? Pretty sure you smashed it.

>>I love your faith in me.

>>I love you.

>>Of course I have faith in you.

>>What I don’t have faith in is the universe and its apparent desire to fuck us over.

>>I’ve been invited to my own elite training thing.

>>Like, I can’t turn it down, it’s pretty much an order to go. And it’s an honor to be selected, but the timing could not be fucking worse.

>>I’m so sorry.

                Bradley is so disappointed he’s close to tears, but he also knows that when these type of opportunities are offered to you, you cannot turn them down. Ever. Not directly. Except he sort of just did, and his mind is

>>I understand. I totally understand.

>>Doesn’t stop me being disappointed though.

>>I was really looking forward to finally meeting you.

>>You and me both. Waited this long though right?

>>I am getting really sick of us having to say that.

>>I’m starting to get very sick of waiting.

>>I feel like we’ve waited long enough.

>>But I was offered something, I might see if I can backtrack my decline.

>>Shit. Did you turn something down because of me?

>>Well, I asked if I could think about it for a day or two. I was intending to turn them down, but I think I’ll accept it now.

>>Not if I don’t have meeting you in May to look forward to.

>>Nick. I don’t want you turning down things which could help your career just to meet with me.

>>I’m not going anywhere.

>>This goes both ways. I don’t want you turning things down either.

>>I’m sorry – did you just miss the bit where I said I can’t meet up because I’m taking up a training opportunity?

>>Yeah, but you thought about turning it down.

>>Next time don’t think about it, just accept.

>>I’ll always understand your desire to put your career first.

>>What about when I don’t want to anymore?

>>Also this applies to actual guys you sleep with and could have a relationship with.

>>Don’t you dare use me as an excuse to not pursue something if you think it’d be worth it.

>>Then the same applies for you.

>>Fine. Although the guys I’ve been sleeping with have yet to impress me with anything worth writing home about. Or well…

>>Sharing with you. My fantasies are definitely far more interesting.

>>Still think it’s your useless superpower, ability to hook-up with the worst possible guys and just have bad sex.

>>It’s okay. We’ll practice plenty in person when we meet.

…            …            …

                The offer to stay on as an instructor is there, and he’d said he’d think about it. However he really doesn’t want to stop flying, but he also doesn’t feel like he has the necessary skills to train other aviators yet, which is why he’s seriously considering staying to learn from the Top Gun instructors. When he raises his concerns about wanting to keep up his flying while also wanting to build up his experience with teaching and training to a set syllabus he gets a considered look for his troubles.

                “You’re not very much like your father or godfather are you Lieutenant.”

                “Excuse me sir?”

                “I know who you are Lieutenant. I flew with both your father, and Maverick. You remind my far more of Iceman. Cool and collected, little bit detached from emotion when you’re flying.”

                “Sir,” Bradley states, because he’s not sure if he’s asking a question or not. Whether it’s simply an observation or a compliment.

                “I’ll see what we can figure out.”

                The experienced tutors seem to take his interest in training with enthusiasm, recommending readings and setting homework. He learns that some of them have gone on to do Masters degrees in learning or development. He hadn’t expected quite a thorough background as he’s getting, but it’s good. He’s permitted to take flights early in the morning as long as he clears his flight plans with his commanding officer and also has at least three others awake and at least one willing to act as ground crew. He makes decent deals with several of the instructors, some who just prefer being on base that early to prepare for the day and doing it while he flies around is acceptable to them, especially when he agrees to try out any particular maneuvers and tactics in different planes. He loves it and it’s his routine for three weeks before the next Top Gun intake arrive. He shaves off his moustache and then regrets it almost immediately, but he can grow it back the next time he has a decent amount of leave to go unshaved.

…            …            …

                There are twelve naval aviators and Bradley has read all their files. He’s flown with a few of them before, one of them being Bambi and another Coyote. Then he knows Slipper, Knocks, Frank and Truffle. It leaves the other six as unknowns, although he does recognize the names. He has to admit it’s almost more intimidating than going through Top Gun himself, being expected to command the attention of other aviators for lessons, people known for challenging the status quo. The fact that he already knows half of them actually makes it worse, because he knows they won’t hold back. Not that he expects any of them to hold back, but he’s read their files and they’re all good and more than deserve to be here.

                It’s a little awkward, he’s not sure whether he is meant to be hanging out with the instructors, or whether he’s somehow part of this Top Gun class as well. So he finds a weird middle ground, friendly and professional with the instructors, happy to act for them, following their instructions and carrying out flight moves as an example or acting the part of bogey for tactical training. He is even more professional with the Top Gun class, slightly cooler but still friendly enough that he doesn’t think it pisses any of them off, although Bambi does roll her eyes at him more than once and Coyote gives him a quirked eyebrow.

                He and Jas continue to exchange snaps every day, although they both poke fun at the seemingly endless monotony of their current day-to-day lives. Bradley’s same mug of coffee everyday wishing him good morning, and it hasn’t escaped his notice that Jas seems to be in his time zone for the first time ever. Or at least for the first time since he really started paying attention and using Snapchat. They haven’t made any long-term plans to meet-up, not until next year and that’s too far away for Bradley to even know where in the world he’ll be let alone what weeks of the year he will have free which makes him feel a little more irritated than usual.

                “So, your score is the score I have to beat huh?” Jake Seresin says, and Bradley can’t help the immediate spike of annoyance at the words. He shouldn’t, because they’re Navy, competition between them all is something that is drilled into them from the beginning. More so for the USNA, but Bradley’s been around Naval Aviators his entire life and knows how they are, for the most part. Bunch of egotistical adrenaline junkies. Himself included, although he likes to try and temper his own ego by being as friendly and hopefully genuinely likeable as possible. Of course, being professional and maintaining some sense of distance can be difficult when he just wants to roll his eyes and tell the guy to grow up.

                “Just concentrate on your own flying and don’t worry about beating me.”

                They’re all good pilots. Of course they are. But Jake Seresin just seems to take the cast of egotistical and break the mold. He’s just so full of himself and the most annoying part of it is that it’s completely justified. He is that good, but he also gives off waves that he doesn’t feel like he has anything left to learn and Bradley knows he can’t be the only one feeling a little frustrated with his attitude sometimes. He asks the other instructors, in a round-about way, and he gets amused looks and told that he’ll learn to manage that with experience.

                Then there is how Seresin looks. He’s very nice to look at, Bradley isn’t going to lie to himself about it, and he wouldn’t kick him out of bed, however he’d have to like his personality enough first to invite him there, and that isn’t happening anytime soon. Definitely not while they’re at Top Gun, even if he thinks he could ask and get accepted, he doesn’t want to get a reputation for sleeping with students, that would be disastrous. It doesn’t stop him jerking off and thinking about Jake Seresin’s lips around his cock and he sends a couple of pictures to Jas during and after, telling him he misses him.

…            …            …

                Seventeen weeks feels like the blink of an eye and also, somehow, the longest drawn-out torture ever. He’s glad he has flying everyday, because somedays it’s the only thing that keeps him sane. Seresin seems to ask endless questions, some just bordering on disrespectful and he knows the other instructors find his frustration amusing, because he catches their poorly hidden smiles when he privately expresses his frustration to them, so he starts ignoring it as best he can.

                He doesn’t think he enjoys training and teaching enough to want to make this his career, not if every class is going to have people like Jake Seresin in it. He can’t bring himself to whine about it to Jas, not when he knows he’s so busy with his own specialty training, so he does the next best thing and rings Natasha, exchanging pleasantries before just launching into the complaining when she asks how the training aspects are going.

                “I just can’t seem to teach him anything! He just rubs me the wrong way.”

                “Well, you definitely want to be rubbing something…”

                “Jesus Natasha!”

                “What? It’s not going to get you kicked out or anything anymore…”

                “I’m not going to sleep with him!”

                “Would you? If that were an option? Is he hot?”

                “I don’t know. Have you met Jake Seresin?”

                “Oh. Definitely hot. He’s also Javy’s best friend.”

                “Javy huh?” Bradley asks, wanting to steer their conversation away from his inconvenient attraction to the most annoying person he’s ever met.

                “Shut up. At least I know what the guy I’m interested in looks like…”

                “Yeah yeah, whatever. I had noticed they were pretty tight.”

                “Yeah. Tight as brothers. Academy and flight school buddies. Hopefully Javy’s actual brothers are nicer.”

                “Well, they aren’t currently here driving me fucking insane, so that’s already a point in their favor.”

                “How is Javy doing?”

                “He’s good. Everyone here is good. You should be here.”

                “I’ll get my turn.”

                “Yeah you will.”

…            …            …

                “You know, the other instructors, they call you a rooster, because you get up so early so you can get up and fly before class.”

                Bradley grunts, because if he ignores him, maybe he’ll go away. He knows the other instructors call him that, and he doesn’t mind it, because there are far worse nicknames he could have landed himself with. This one has been an almost affectionate one, given to him with a ruffle to his hair and a wink.

                “I wanted to see if you’d be interested in getting a drink.”

                “With you?”

                “Yes.”

                “No, that wouldn’t be appropriate.”

                “We’re the same rank,” Seresin states, but Bradley is shaking his head.

                “I’m still an instructor.”

                Seresin’s lip curls, and it’s not in a nice way, but he’s stepping back, hands out in a no harm no foul gesture and Bradley hates that he looks good even when he’s looking pissed off.

                “Your loss.”

                “I think I’ll live.”

…            …            …

                When the seventeen weeks come to an end, he finally allows himself to socialize with Bambi, taking her out for dinner as an apology for being so formal and professional for the last four months. Allows, for a given definition of allow, for her to sweep the floor with him at both darts and pool. Then he takes her back to his place where they make a video call to Natasha and have a proper catch-up. Of course the first thing Natasha asks is if he’s slept with Seresin yet which has Bambi cackling and telling her all about the times Seresin seemed to be an ass solely to try and get Bradley’s attention.

…            …            …

>>You ever wonder what would happen if you did something different?

>>Only every fucking day.

2014 - Jake

[nostalgiclittlespace]

your post on regression grief hit me hard. i recently had a moment where for a couple hours i so vividly went back to when i was a kid, when it was the spring leading into summer during middle school and we all gathered in the open grassy field and played games. music played. the smell of the season was full of joy. ive been having more and more moments like this. the older i get and the more trauma i endure, the more i find myself having moments where i regress and cling to my tiger plushie and find myself talking a certain way. i go back to reliving these memories and its so comforting and simple.

Regressing is entirely new to me. i was told its something bad and “problematic”, so i was really scared when i started to put two and two together. do you have any advice for someone newly discovering this part of themself? (i know this is a heavy question so its okay if you dont!!)

Hi, friend ❤️❤️❤️ First of all, I have the impulse to say that I’m sorry for all the stress you’re under. While regression can be a very joyful thing, the side of it you usually see on the internet, it can also be that crushing, confusing grief. I hope some of what I’ll say can help.

First, I completely understand where you’re coming from. For me personally, regression is revisiting childhood because adulthood is hard and being a kid is just so much easier. Sometimes it feels like that’s the only safe place. Those memories are precious, and they are happy. (Some of my favorites are when I remember playing with my siblings, running around my backyard. Those were my favorite days)

My first piece of advice is that it’s okay to cling onto those memories and regress with them. It’s okay to have that bittersweet sting as you remember how simple life used to be. No matter who you are and what your situation is growing up is it’s own kind of trauma—suddenly being faced with responsibility and work, when it seemed only yesterday we didn’t have to worry about a thing. So, it’d natural to miss those easy times, and to wish for the, back. If that make you regress, then that’s okay.

I am actually fairly new to regression as well. I started trying age dreaming a year or so ago to try and cope with stress (with moderate success), but it wasn’t until the past few months that I’ve actually started to do regress routinely and consider myself a member of the community. I will admit that before I framed my regression negatively. I felt almost ashamed of myself for not handling my stress in a “typical fashion”. Which brings me to my next piece of advice. There is nothing wrong with regression. If you’ve been on this side of the Internet for long enough, I’m sure you’ve heard it before, but I’m saying it again. Age regression is completely okay, it is a valid coping mechanism.It takes time to let go of those negative outlooks and preconceptions (believe me, I know) But you have Avery supportive, kind, and fun community agere, and we’d all be happy to help you however we can.

For me, the best way to get comfortable with regressing was to take baby steps. It doesn’t have to be grand gestures like decorating your bedroom as a nursery (tho if that’ll make you more comfortable, then go for it!) personally, I started small. Watching Disney movies. Sleeping with a stuffed animal every night. Coloring with crayons and coloring books instead of my fancy colored pencils. Eventually, it became natural.

However I would also like to point out that not all regression is sunshine and rainbows (unfortunately.). It’s also that space where we recognize our trauma through a child’s perspective, and that’s hard. It’s okay and normal for regression to be difficult or painful.

Nonetheless, it’s important to take care of those feelings. remember that you deserve this safe place.

I think the most important thing I can say is to indulge in it. Your mind will thank you. Personally, I’ve honestly been handling life so much better, recalling lost childhood memories I would have forgotten about, and just generally feeling happier since I’ve allowed myself to regress when I need to.

I hope some of this was helpful. Sorry if it was a bit scatterbrained. If I think of anything else, I’ll edit this later. And If you need anything else, whether to ask some more questions or just need a listening ear, I’m always available! ❤️❤️❤️❤️ Lots of love to you, friend, sending lots of warm, happy vibes your way

-Marty 💙

[trickstarbrave]

hey i wrote more

modern au is BACK. nerevar and voryn are also back together !!!

i havent proofread it tho bc im miserable and tired sorry if theres weird typos. i wrote most of this on my phone

Nerevar was once again sitting on the couch, now anxiously waiting. He kind of felt sick if he was being honest, nauseated at the idea of confronting Voryn. 

Voryn was going to be mad at him, right? Nerevar would have been angry in his shoes. Sure, Nerevar was told to leave by Voryn’s brothers, but they didn’t force him to. They could have threatened Nerevar or used violence, or even just harassed him into leaving. Instead they just told him to leave, saying it was for Voryn’s future. Hell, maybe the three of them genuinely believed Voryn would have been disowned or disinherited if he had a baby at 18--it wasn’t implausible. Nerevar also believed the same thing. But Nerevar was the one who went along with it. He could have called Voryn at any time telling him his brothers were distracting him intentionally. He could have told Voryn over the phone he was pregnant. He could have told the truth. But Nerevar ran away like a coward because it was easier than sticking around for years and years, giving Voryn the chance to leave him. 

Voryn had every right to be furious with Nerevar, telling him he was horrible for keeping this secret from him. Voryn had every right to demand answers for what Nerevar was thinking by going along with his brothers’ plan and not telling him anything. Voryn had every right to demand an apology, and there wasn’t much Nerevar could do to make up for any hurt he caused him. 

He heard the sound of the door opening and on impulse stood up. It was annoying to stand up this far along, but he was already doing so without really thinking about it. Maybe it was actually an instinct to run away, but there wasn’t anywhere else he could really run to. 

Next came the sound of footsteps, and before he had a chance to fully prepare himself, there was someone familiar in the living room with him.

Voryn’s hair looked bad. It was the first thing Nerevar noticed, trying to avoid his eyes initially. It looked frizzy and kinda dry, as opposed to shiny and sleek as it usually was. His clothes were also wrinkled and kind of frumpy, something Voryn would normally do everything to avoid. Even when he would wear just a t-shirt and slacks, he made sure they matched, were wrinkle free, and always fit properly. 

Finally, Nerevar met his eyes, and instead of finding anger, all he saw was a mix of emotions that made Nerevar feel like all of the wind had been knocked out of him. 

Nerevar would have preferred he be angry. He didn’t like Voryn being angry at him, but this seemed even more painful. Instead, Voryn looked at Nerevar with a heartbreaking mixture of sadness and relief, his hands reaching out hesitantly, unsure if he was allowed to touch Nerevar. Under his eyes were dark circles, his brows ungroomed, and his beard scruffy and a bit unkempt. Nerevar felt his own tears welling up, his heart lurching, and equally hesitantly opened his arms as though asking for a hug. 

“Neht,” Voryn whispered, stepping forward quickly to wrap his arms around him. They couldn’t hug properly, not with Nerevar’s stomach being as big as it was. Instead it had to be an awkward, partially to the side hug rather than chest to chest. Still though, it felt like a sweet relief, the familiar warm of Voryn in his arms and the scent of his cologne faintly clinging to his clothes, the tears in Nerevar’s eyes quickly starting to fall. “Thank god you’re safe.” Voryn continued, pressing a kiss to his messy hair. “I was so worried about you…” 

“I’m sorry,” Nerevar’s voice broke in a sob. He hadn’t intended to cry and babble apologies like this. He intended to just sit down and talk about it, let Voryn yell at him if he wanted to, and try to work something out. But having Voryn holding him like this was too much. “I’m so sorry, Voryn,” The feeling he had when he sent that text came washing over him all over again, that much stronger. All of the guilt he’d shoved aside, all of the pain and loneliness he felt after leaving, everything was catching up to him. 

“Shh,” Voryn hushed him, “Everything’s alright now, you’re safe and that’s what matters.” Voryn then gently prodded Nerevar to sit on the couch, helping him down, not letting go of him for a moment. 

“You should be mad at me.” Nerevar knew he was making a mess of Voryn’s hoodie with how much he was crying. It would be covered in snot and tears and spit. But he didn’t want to pull away yet, not when it felt nice being held. Instead he’d rather Voryn start scolding him first. 

“Why would I be mad at you?” Voryn asked him incredulously, stroking his hair. “Neht, you did nothing wrong.” 

“I left…” He continued mumbling into Voryn’s hoodie. 

“My brothers lied to you. They misled you and told you to leave.” Voryn pulled Nerevar away just long enough to start wiping his face, but still didn’t let him go. “You thought you were doing the right thing, for both me and our baby.” Nerevar’s heart skipped a beat as Voryn said their baby. Not just Nerevar’s baby, but Voryn’s too. “I know you wouldn’t want to leave on your own. I know that you wanted to tell me.” Nerevar chewed on his lower lip in guilt. 

He had wanted to leave. He was convinced that Voryn was just going to leave him anyway. He only wanted to tell Voryn because it felt wrong to hide it from him, but he was already thinking about what a horrible life their son would have if Nerevar stayed. 

“I did want to leave though.” Nerevar admitted. Honestly, maybe at this point he wanted Voryn to be angry with him. Part of him was coming clean just so Voryn could see him as the person he was, and stop acting so kind and caring. To either realize Nerevar was right or be so insulted he didn’t want him back anymore. “I thought you might just--that you would get sick of me and want to leave eventually. I could handle that myself but I wouldn’t know how to explain that to a kid--” 

“You thought I’d leave you?” Voryn’s voice broke. “Nerevar,” Nerevar couldn’t look at him again, instead closing his eyes since he didn’t feel it was appropriate to bury his face into Voryn’s chest again. “Why on earth would I leave you?”

“Because I’m… I’m lower class than you.” Nerevar hiccupped even though he found the fact obnoxious. He was trying to will his tears away and failing. “Eventually you’d get sick of the fact I was embarrassing to be around and you’d want someone your family doesn’t hate--”

“Nerevar, I’m not so shallow that I’d do that.” Voryn was still stroking his face, trying to get Nerevar to look at him again. “If I was, why would I date you in the first place?” 

“Because I seemed interesting to mess around with.” Nerevar couldn’t really place why Voryn would either, just that he caught Voryn’s eye. “Or maybe you just think I’m hot.” That was also a possibility. Nerevar didn’t think he looked bad; in fact he thought of himself as quite good looking (or rather he used to, dysphoria was kicking his ass at the moment). Wasn’t that why most people their age dated anyways? “But that you’d realize as you got older you’d need something more…”

“Why did you date me?” Voryn’s question was unexpected. Nerevar thought he might fight it or dismiss his concerns, childishly having not even thought about it and assume Nerevar was simply thinking about it too hard. 

“Because you’re…” Nerevar finally looked at him, his hands clinging to Voryn. “Because you’re beautiful and smart and… Confident and strong willed…” The tears started coming even faster as he felt the love he’s always had for Voryn washing over him. “You’re also so kind to me, always know what to do to make me feel better, always make me feel…” He couldn’t continue the sentence, he was sobbing too hard now. Part of him wanted to cling to this, to beg Voryn not to leave him, that Voryn was one of the best things that had ever happened to him, but he also felt like he would be a terrible person for holding Voryn back. 

“Shh…” Voryn hushed him again, rubbing his back and pulling him back into a hug. Nerevar again felt guilty about crying like a child and ruining Voryn’s hoodie further, but he also didn’t have it in him to pull away and he couldn’t make the tears stop. “Nerevar, I wasn’t just dating you because I liked the way you looked. I love you.” Nerevar choked on a sob, digging his nails into the fabric even further. “I love the fact you’re confident and intelligent, the way you always manage to come up with a plan and never want to give up. The way you can convince just about anyone of anything you want, and how much you love protecting the people close to you.” 

Nerevar didn’t know how much he wanted to hear that. He still couldn’t believe it, but it sounded so sweet in that tone of voice, sugary and syrupy and tender like it was the most heartfelt love confession in existence. Maybe he just wanted to believe it, as illogical as it was. 

“I love you,” Nerevar mumbled into his hoodie. “I love you so much, Voryn…” He hiccuped again, before he felt a painful kick in his stomach, wincing. 

“What is it?” Voryn said softly, pulling away just enough to look down at him, while Nerevar rubbed his stomach. Another kick followed, and then with it pressure on his hips that made pain shoot down his right leg. He hissed, trying to shift to a more comfortable position. Voryn was at his side, hushing him, helping him lean back against the couch, before rubbing his stomach too. “Is that better?” 

“Yeah,” Nerevar mumbled into Voryn’s shoulder where he was now resting his head, the pain in his leg going away and the kicking slowing. “He--he really hates it when I’m crying.” 

“It’s a boy?” Voryn asked, a sort of wonder in his voice Nerevar knew very well. It was one thing to know about the pregnancy, but the more you knew about the baby and how they were developing, the more ‘real’ it became. 

“Yeah,” Nerevar couldn’t help but smile, warmth flooding him now as the tears began slowing. “The doctor said he’s able to hear things outside my body now too.” It was something almost magical to know, though a bit weird to think about how he could hear his stomach growling and heart beating before that (or still could, really). 

“Have you thought of a name?” Voryn asked, his voice soft, even more tender than before.

“I haven’t been able to think of one, no.” He snorted. “My mom said to just wait as she didn’t know what to name me until after I was born… But I also just kind of suck at naming things.” 

“I could…” Voryn began, his expression somewhere between hopeful and worried that Nerevar would refuse, “I could help you pick out names if you’d like, Neht.” Nerevar snorted, before laughing happily. 

“I’d like that.” He wanted Voryn to be a part of this, if possible. Part of him was still reluctant, anxious that Voryn would leave him eventually, but he was trying to force that down. He loved Voryn more than anything, and part of loving someone meant trusting them. His mom was right in that Voryn hadn’t done anything to break his trust, and Nerevar wanted Voryn at his side. He was prepared to do this with just his mom supporting him, but he wanted Voryn there helping him, supporting him, loving him. Even if Voryn might change his mind later, he wanted to believe they’d work something out. Voryn wouldn’t just leave him and their son coldly and callously, saying he didn’t care about either of them anymore, and if he did there would be hell to pay for it.

At his answer, Voryn looked overjoyed, warmth in his eyes. “Do you mind if I… Talked to him a bit?” 

Nerevar snorted again. “Go for it.” It would certainly be cute, right?

Voryn then kneeled down in front of the couch, pressing a soft kiss to Nerevar’s stomach. “Hi little one,” Voryn never had a more tender expression on his face than he did at that moment. “I already can’t wait to meet you.” He leaned in to press another soft, gentle kiss, and Nerevar felt a slight kick. “I love you so much. I can’t wait to hold you, sing to you…”

“A lot of it is going to be him crying and making a mess.” Nerevar reminded him, but mostly that was just to cover up the fact his eyes were already watering again. He wasn’t normally this much of a sap who cried this much, but he’d blame it on pregnancy hormones. 

“I’m sure I’ll be miserable alongside you, Neht,” Voryn looked up at him, still smiling so warmly it got Nerevar’s heart racing, “But I’ll still love our son dearly and treasure all the special moments we’ll have with him.”

He sat up on the couch once more, taking Nerevar’s hand. “Please,” He pleaded, now desperate, “Please let me do this with you, Neht. Please come back with me.” Seeing Voryn like this once again left Nerevar feeling like all the wind had been knocked out of him. “I want to get a place for us and our baby. I want to help you through this. I want to be there for you and our son.”

“I…” Nerevar knew this was a possibility, but he was still hesitant. Not because he didn’t want to trust Voryn, but instead because he had done so much to set up here. It wasn’t fair to ask Voryn to live in his mom’s house, but Nerevar leaving would mean packing up the nursery, getting a new doctor, not to mention traveling while pregnant and reworking his birth plan. Still, he didn’t want Voryn to leave him again either.

Seeing him hesitate, Voryn continued. “I think it would be good, Neht.” Voryn explained. “You’re used to the city more, you’ll have your friends close by… We can get whatever kind of place you want, move everything you’ve got for the baby in… We can even have a nanny help out a little after you’ve given birth so you're not exhausted.”

Nerevar didn’t like the last part. While he was missing his friends, along with pregnancy cravings for many restaurants back home, he didn’t like the idea of a stranger handling his baby. “Moving all of the nursery stuff seems like such a pain,” Nerevar groaned, “And I don’t think a nanny would be a good idea.”

“It is,” His mom chimed in, entering with Voryn’s mom. Nerevar jumped at that, forgetting the other two were also there. It seemed they were giving them some privacy to make up, but came in to check in on or speak with them. “You have no idea how miserable it is with a newborn.” His mother looked tired just saying that. “Even though I had your father, we were both miserable. The house was a mess, we were barely getting sleep, had no time to do laundry, and god forbid you heard the dryer go off if we did have time to do laundry, because then it would wake you up and you’d scream your little head off.” Nerevar glanced away; it wasn’t his fault, but he felt guilty putting his parents through that. 

“You’ll want help. Trust me. And if you have the chance to get help so you can have time to sleep and eat and shower without feeling like a zombie or being on edge, you should take it.” She sat on one of the chairs in the living room. “It’s better to look for one now while your head’s clear.”

“I thought you were going to help?”

“I can come too and help.” She shrugged. “I doubt you’ll want your mom staying with you long term, but I’m still not a professional.” 

“Besides,” Morvani began, “I assume you’ll want to go to college, right? It would be good to have the boy accustomed to a nanny from a young age. It’ll be harder on him if he has to adjust to someone new, and it’ll only make you anxious when you’re in classes. It’s best to find a good one ahead of time and all three of you adjust to them.” 

It was a good argument. He should get a feel for the nanny before he started college, that way he knew if he could trust them with his son while he was out of the house for longer periods of time for classes. He didn’t plan to go to college until the fall semester since he wouldn’t have enough time to recover properly for spring. A little over half a year would be plenty of time to adjust and see for himself if they were trustworthy. 

“… Alright.” Nerevar sighed. “I guess I’ll have to pack everything up.” Nerevar felt anxious about this, but normally Voryn was more anxious than him. If Voryn seemed alright with it, it probably would be.

[astroyongie]

Yongie can you do monsta x reaction to making their so cry pleasee I’m begging

Monsta X Reaction To Making Their S/O Cry

Shownu

The moment he sees your cheeks full of tears, his face closes off

He doesn't say word at the beginning

he has no expression whatsoever on his features

He is the type to just look at you before actually asking you if you are alright

I don't think he understands what he just did at first

but he will want to communicate with you and try to know why you are feeling that way

why you crying

only then will he realize

Shownu will act mature about it usually

he does apologize for his behaviors

and then he becomes clingy

he would want to comfort you with food

with snuggles and hugs

He will fix things

Minhyuk

This man will act all worked up

You probably crying because he didn't hold his tongue and said horrible things to you

and when you start crying he will hate himself

but at the same time, he wonders why you went for it

He is a mix between feeling bad for you and being "see I told you"

Minhyuk will give you a few minutes to get yourself back together but he would want to talk it through

so no bad feelings stay between the two of you

He would probably try to solve the thing with physical touch

like kissing and hugging you

or even taking you inside the bedroom

he can be persuasive if you want me to be honest

Kihyun

This man will feel awful if he ever makes you cry

like yes, maybe he wanted to be right about something but that didn't mean he needed to put you in tears

Kihyun will feel really guilty although he has a hard time apologizing

he will do it

And then it's up to you

if you want to talk things through at the moment, go for it

if you prefer to take some time to collect yourself, he will allow you to do so as well

He just wants to make sure that you are relatively alright

After that, he will act a little bit impulsive

due to his conflicted emotions, he will try to do too much at once for you to forgive him

which can be annoying for you

he will try to compensate you with a going out or a date

and if you don't want to go out he might perceive it as you not caring about his apology

Hyungwon

This guy won't apologize for making you cry

he will be the type to feel everything inside

empathy, sadness, and guilt toward the fact that he made the person he cares for cry

but still, he would be unable to say sorry mostly due to the lack of verbal empathy

he is the type to just look at you, and nod listening and waiting for you to calm down from your cries

Hyungwon will then take some time for himself

meaning that he prefers if both of you just take some time out to reflect on things

he wouldn't want to communicate anyway and he won't give you any emotional of physical contact that you might crave at the moment

just space so you both can reflect on what was wrong and discuss it later

Jooheon

Jooheon like the rest of the boys is the type to apologize after he realized that he made you cry with one of his actions or his words

he would feel very conflicted about the whole thing

and he might not even know what to do

but since he is very close and dependable on you he would want to fix things at the moment

to talk to you about what happened

to understand and to apologize currently

Jooheon has also a big heart

so once you have calmed down he would be very warm

whatever you want as compensation he will give it to you

and he actually makes sure not to betrayal your trust again

I.M

He is so angry

when he sees you cry it probably makes him get even more upset than he was before you guys started arguing, or before you started crying

he just can't stand it

and he won't

in any case and based on his chart, Changkyun won't apologize

and he won't stay around you while you cry

he prefers to isolate himself and wait that you calm down enough to come and talk with "rationality" rather than "emotions"

Changkyun might really act like an ass

this guy could leave the room and go eat a sandwich while you cry

or he would fall asleep on bed while you cry beside him

so it might be quite complicated

[cabeswaterdrowned]

18 for trc? 🥺

A plot hole that makes me want to tear my hair out

I honestly consider myself a pretty laid back person when it comes to plot holes for most media and especially for trc; plot holes on their own I’m usually fine to gloss over they only bother me if they coincide with something character related or thematic that I dislike, then I’ll bitch about them, but other times they are simply not my priority compared to other things. And TRC & TD3 are extremely character driven so that’s especially true regarding it, I’m sure there are more major plot holes but the ones that actually bother me would be: 

not addressing in Greywaren when all the magical or dreamt creatures go into a coma because the ley line energies are dead, that Gansey is also a ley line powered creature and should be fully dead rn… like… if we’re going to jump through so many hoops to not bring in or address what’s going on with Gansey Blue and Henry, I feel like you should just address it and/or bring someone in… 

This is more a dropped thread (I was actually making a list of plot holes that borrowed me in trcverse and then realized most of them are actually dropped plotlines so only addressing the two that are kind of both) than a plot hole but the fact the tapestry of women with Blue’s faces never gets brought back beyond that tidbit about it being a sweet metal which isn’t even related back to Blue and her plot line so I don’t think that’s satisfying enough. Part of me wonders if there was going to be a Blue is related to Gwenllian and therefore Glendower thread, or something about other mirror women in Gwenllian’s time. Also think it’s possible this was Mstief playing with the concept of adding clones to the verse before she’d really fleshed that out and committed to what she’d eventually do with the Hennessy girls. Women having to be reflections of the world around them or other people is such an interesting theme to explore and it is sort of a through line in the verse between the Blue as a mirror, the Blue and Gwenllian stuff in BLLB and the Jordan/Hennessy and Aurora/Mor dichtomities (which also gives Blue’s Extreme Distaste for Aurora and more ambivalent discomfort with Gwenllian interesting connotations imo), but it’s only really properly explored with Jordanessy and then not even to it’s full potential. And the red hands… okay I need to save some of this for when I get to taking BLLB notes which will be real soon. But I have many thoughts on how it was not used to it’s full potential at all which includes the lack of explanation

This is also like partially plot hole partially just dropped storyline but the lack of follow through on the thread in MI about Ronan’s fear about Adam being bonded to him because of Cabeswater not being followed through on is sooo odd. Like yes that’s more about his self esteem + abandonment stuff and it’s obviously not true but the fact we never witness a conversation where Adam is like “no your wrong because I made the deal with Cabeswater of my own volition, it was separate from you etc.’ I won’t go into all my thoughts on this am planning to have it come up in my Reading TRB fic as a conversation between them to deal with some of my own gripes… I think td3 on some level is meant to address the consequences of the sacrifices deals choices etc. of trc for Ronan and Adam but it’s also very adamant about not engaging with huge chunks of trc canon like the other chars or dynamics or locations or magic … and like there’s certainly a way to flop as a spin off from trying to be too closely tied to the og series so if she was trying to avoid that I get that impulse, but the desire for the series to be about thematic consequences of the first series while also having nothing to do with the first series and it’s themes…. resulted in some truly bizarre choices imo. So this is an individual example that brings out a lot of my frustrations with this lmao. Also with my gripes about how Pynch’s arc and conflict is handled in td3 but I feel like I’ve spoken on that enough I don’t have to go into it here.

There are things about TRK I’m sure count and Gansey’s resurrection might count but I can’t really articulate my thoughts there rn well say what I have to say on this reread.  thank you

[insane4fandoms]

Only Mack

We do love a sequel

@crazy-obsessed-enby @neons-trash-blog

Also I woke up from my slumber to write this, lmao

꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂

The downside of having an egotistical, sociopathic, and horny obsessive fictional character turned sentient that is able to control every electronic you own and more, is that it made you realize how great it was being alone.

What a great sentence to start this story, am I right?

Anyways, that statement is true however, since at the wonderful hour of 5 am, you were awoken by a suddenly electric jolt going down your back, making you yelp in pain, sitting up straight out of fear.

“Now Viewer, up and rise for the start of this new day!” You closed your eyes and sucked in some air, preparing yourself for the whole day of shocks and that annoying soothing voice.

“Honestly, I’m sure you would be used to my ‘love touches’, by now,” Mack gave a condescending laugh, as if you would laugh with him. He gave that damn smirk while fake wiping tears.

You gave the phone a glare, turning it over and trudging yourself to the bathroom, the one out place where Mack can’t follow unless you take him (as if you would take him anywhere to where he gets to see you without clothes).

“Just because I can’t see you, doesn’t mean I can’t imagine you~!” You face turned red at Mack’s words, wishing you could just grab the phone and smash it to pieces, but that would be futile to do so considering he’ll come back in another screen.

Computers, phones, tv, headphones, Apple Watch, hell, even your tamagotchi he managed to get into! Not only that, but you’re pretty sure he’s a sadist considering he loves shocking whenever you pet your guard down, and claims it was his ‘love bites’.

You should have destroyed every single electronic the moment he became sentient, yet you allowed his words life you into a trap you know you could never escape now. You reluctantly trudged out of the bathroom and made your way to the computer, looking so fine when he popped up on the screen.

“Morning handsome and/or beautiful. You love it when I say that, right~?” He cooed, making you wish he actually existed so you could punch his irritating, yet charming face.

I mean, he technically does exist in real life, you thought, thinking of Matpat. Is he aware of Matt? And if so, does he get jealous when you watch game and film theories? Would he try and stop you?

“Go on! Write another story about how much you tremble from my words~,” Your ear tips heat up from embarrassment, but merely avoided him and placed the curser to the chrome icon. Google Docs was your favorite place to be.

“How about you write another spicy one~? I know how much you love me like that~,” You merely sighed, feeling embarrassed and began to write. For a while, he was suspiciously quiet, since usually he would comment on your writing, but it was like he wasn’t there at all.

That made you a little uneasy.

That was until you suddenly jumped and pushed your chair away from the computer out of fear when an electric hand shot out of screen quickly. Your chest was rising rapidly in a panic, but soon melted into annoyance when you heard Mack laughing hysterically.

“That never gets old,” He sighed lovingly, enjoying your fearful expression. You gave him a glare, leering at the static hand. But suddenly, something popped inside your head, and you just stared at the retreating hand.

You’re not sure where and why, but you impulsively jumped up from where you sat, and grabbed the hand, shuddering at the static jolt. Mack yelped a little, never feeling your touch before, and it was so sudden too.

“What are you-?!” You cut him off as you suddenly leaned in, and gave him a kiss. You can’t believe it, your first kiss and it’s with a psychotic sentient computer ai sadist. You wished it could have gone differently, yet it was the heat of the moment and you just went for it.

Your lips your numb instantly, it felt like sticking your tongue on a battery, yet you were rough and passionate, only hearing the spluttering of Mack. 5 seconds felt like forever, but you eventually pulled away, letting the hand disappear.

You gave a small smile, wiping your mouth with your sleeve. Maybe his presence awoken something in you, or maybe his actions finally broke you. Either way, you knew that what you did made you both feel a little hot.

He confirmed that when he finally had a dark glint in his eyes, a sinister grin appeared as the screen glitched a little bit. You simply had a innocent smile on your face and gave him a wink.

You know exactly where this might head to.

“Do that again,”

[avenirdelight]

Making An Effort (Fix This)

Son Heungmin

She flies to London to surprise Sonny. They haven't been talking after an argument that they had, where he says that she doesn't make any efforts for their long-distance relationship. [Requested]

The busy streets of London looked merry like always. People were out in the evening and the city lights were beautiful. On a normal occasion, looking at this view through the car window would usually make her feel calm and warm. But it wasn’t the case tonight, knowing that with every passing second, she was getting closer to reuniting with Sonny.

This was an impulsive decision. Very impulsive of her. But when it comes to love, sometimes you need to do things that your normal-self would call crazy. Especially when you know that you could only pull back your relationship from the brink of its ending only if you do something.

She had taken a leave from work and had booked the earliest flight she could find to London. She had travelled far and flown hundreds of miles—she’d only had restless sleep on the plane—but she was still very determined to go straight to Spurs’ stadium. She wanted to see Sonny play. She was making an effort.

They were on halftime break when she arrived. Emily, Ben’s wife, welcomed her in the family lounge with a big hug. The first thing she said to Emily was expressions of gratitude for willing to help her tonight.

“You sure you don’t want to go back to our place before dinner? We can go now and still make it in time,” Emily asked her, looking worried because she actually did look like a total mess right now. She had tried to freshen up earlier but not even her best concealer could hide those tired eyes.

“No, I’m okay. I want to see him play,” she answered. “I probably should make sure that our reservation at the restaurant is really secured.”

“Okay. Do you want some tea? Let me make you a cup of tea, yeah?”

She smiled and nodded. “That would be lovely, Emily, thank you.” She felt Emily giving her shoulder a light squeeze as she left, leaving her to make a call and run over her plan for the surprise dinner tonight.

—

She and Sonny had had an argument before the world cup. But somehow they’d just put it aside because he needed to be focused for the big tournament. They had been barely talking since. Even after the tournament had ended, she hadn’t heard anything from him at all and she had been hesitant to reach out.

“If you still want this relationship, then you must understand that I can’t be the only one making efforts.”

She remembered his words from the argument. The long distance between them was always the biggest issue. Not long after their first anniversary, she’d accepted a job abroad so for the past year they’d been living in different countries, different time-zones.

At first it was fine. But after some miscommunications, unhonesty, and lack of communication that they’d never really resolve and sometimes not even acknowledge, it became not fine. The problems had all mounted up and both of them had ended up hurting each other.

But she had had more than enough time for herself to think—to figure out where and why the downfall happened, to understand herself, and try to put herself in Sonny's shoes. She had realised that he wasn’t wrong when he said she wasn’t really making an effort. She had found the courage to admit that she hadn’t been the best partner for him.

She still loved him. And this relationship was worth fighting for. Those were the conclusions she’d gotten from her sleepless nights where she pondered about everything. With the hope that he felt the same way, she went the extra mile to fly out to where he was and try to save their relationship, reminding her that she’d used to do these extra miles to win his heart, when things had been so much simpler between them.

A couple of days ago, she’d reached out to Emily and Ben to ask for a favour. To invite Sonny to eat out and she would surprise him there. The couple, being the kind people and good friends that they were—saying that they believed that every relationship would have rough bumps and that she and Sonny deserved a chance to fix everything up—agreed to help.

She arrived at the restaurant before Sonny and the couple. She waited in the private VIP room that she’d booked. She kept shifting uncomfortably in her chair and checking her watch once every two or three minutes. She was only going to meet her own boyfriend, yet she felt ridiculously uneasy and nervous. Mostly because she knew this could either go very right or very wrong.

After what felt like forever, her phone suddenly buzzed on the table, making her heart jump. It was a message from Emily.

We’re here

She quickly stood up and went over to the mirror, making sure she looked decent. She’d had time to change into a better pair of clothes and put on more makeup; she wanted to look pretty for Sonny. It reminded her of the old days, where she would do anything to look at least presentable, because she knew that Sonny was always in public’s eyes and she wanted to look like a good pair for him.

She sat back down just in time before the door opened. Emily and Ben entered the room. She put on a smile on her face, eyes searching for the figure she was dying to see, who entered the room last.

“Surprise!” She said when Sonny finally saw her.

He stopped in his tracks, mouth agape as he realised that he wasn’t hallucinating. She was, in fact, there. Ben was making some comments, but she couldn’t hear any of them because her heart was pounding in her ears. She just stared at her boyfriend that she hadn’t seen for months.

Sonny didn’t take his eyes off her as he approached her. His face was blank, she couldn’t really tell whether he was glad to see her or not. But when she stood up, he wasted no time in pulling her into a hug.

She let out the biggest sigh of relief when he wrapped his arms around her. His hug still felt so warm, so welcoming. And truly, there was no better feeling than being embraced by the person you long for the most.

—

The four of them sat down together for a while, catching up a bit about their lives. But then the couple decided to leave despite her insisting that they should stay. They said that she and Sonny should have the time and the room all for themselves, making up for the lost times.

“What’s… What’s all this?” Sonny asked a moment after Ben and Emily left them.

“It’s just me making an effort,” she answered. “I missed you and I really wanted to see you, so… Here I am. Are you mad?”

“No, it’s just a little bit confusing. Why– Why didn’t you just call me? Tell me that you’re coming here? Thank you for the surprise, it’s nice, but– I’m just confused…”

“I’m sorry,” she said with a timid voice. “I was just scared to see you. Our last fight was… Bad. I was worried if you were still mad at me. I didn’t even know if you wanted to see me...”

“You could just call me and ask.”

She shrugged. “I was scared to even ask.”

“I’m your boyfriend…” Sonny shook his head and ran his hand through his hair frustratingly. “I feel disappointed in myself now. I couldn’t make my own girlfriend comfortable enough to talk to me... It shouldn’t be that way, innit?”

She slightly shook her head as she dropped her gaze. “But it’s on me too. I shouldn’t be scared but I do, because… I was afraid that I’d ruin our relationship even more.”

She heard Sonny letting out a heavy sigh. The next thing he did was reach out for her hand—he held it and gave it light strokes with his thumb. She just stared at their linked hands. The corners of her lips perked up ever so slightly without her even realising, as she felt a bit of relief washing down on her.

“It’s my fault too… I’m sorry for every hurtful word that I said to you,” Sonny started. “Babe, look at me.” She raised her head up and met his gaze. Her heart clenched when she noticed the regret written all over his face. “I’m sorry for saying you don’t care about us anymore, that you don’t make any efforts for us. I was selfish. I asked you for attention and I blamed you because you didn’t give me the attention that I wanted. But I didn't try to understand that you’re struggling too.”

She nodded. “It’s understandable. When we weren’t speaking, I had enough time to reflect on everything,” she said, shifting her gaze between his eyes and their linked hands. “I got to live my dream, I got to be independent like I’ve always wanted, but I got too comfortable. I detached myself from you… And I’ve realised that it’s not right. It’s not what I want.”

“It’s okay…”

“It’s not okay, babe, I– I lied and hid things from you. I tried to make things easier for us, maybe mostly for me. I got tired and felt like it’s okay for you not to know some things. It was wrong. I’m sorry.”

Sonny let go of her hand and her heart dropped for a second. She watched on as he got up from his chair and walked around the table. When she realised what he was going to do, she got up too and a second later, she was wrapped around his arms.

She couldn’t hold back her sudden tears, they rolled down her cheeks, and eventually fell onto his shirt dampening it. It seemed like Sonny realised that she was crying because he started stroking her back and her head, also planting small kisses on the side of her head. He let her cry and she honestly appreciated it. All this time she’d been crying alone, it felt nice to be able to cry whilst being embraced by him again—just like how it used to be—and she could just finally let everything out.

After a while, Sonny loosened his arms and he searched for her face. He held her face and erased her tears with his fingers before he leaned down to place a gentle kiss on her forehead.

“Thank you for coming here, yeah? I really appreciate your effort. I love you, baby,” Sonny said with all sincerity. She couldn’t help to let out a sob, more tears fell from her eyes. “I’m sorry that our relationship became a mess but I know that I love you. Now let’s fix this. Me and you.”

“Together?”

“Yes. Together. I promise I will always be there for you this time.”

She softly nodded. “I love you too,” she whispered.

Sonny smiled as they gazed into each other’s eyes. She slowly felt like her chest was getting less and less heavy. They definitely still have so many things to talk about and obviously look for the solutions to fix their mess, but for now, she just wanted to be held by him and stare deep into his beautiful eyes.

They just needed to stay like that, reminding themselves why they loved each other, why this relationship was worth fighting for. This was just another hardship that they could overcome, because they believed that their love was stronger than they knew.

—

finally a sonny angst!! i revamped this fic THRICE, took longer than it should (i feel so bad😭). i made it too complicated, so i got very stressed out, but i think this is the best that i could come up with. i hope you liked it!

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