#i’m extremely grateful and impressed but also a little still ‘holy shit what���

[hanzajesthanza]

[sepublic]

SEASON 2 OF THE OWL HOUSE!!!

          RUHGISN/LIFNALARNGLIENARE

           Onto business first and foremost! We get twenty-one episodes, an extra one to make up for the rather odd, nineteen-count from the first season! That’s forty episodes in total! Then Season 3…

           OH, Season 3… I love it but it hurts! The Lord giveth and taketh away, it’s confirmed, but it’s only THREE 44-minute specials! By my calculations, that’s about the length of SIX normal episodes… THE OWL HOUSE IS SO DANG POPULAR AND THIS IS WHAT YOU DO DISNEY?!?!! First Amphibia’s finale gets screwed over, THEN this?! But at least Amphibia gets its full third season… At least I assumeit does, oh for the love of Titan if it doesn’t…

           It is extremely imperative that we petition Disney to let TOH’s third season be full-length! Because Dana herself admitted that the main reason she left Twitter was to cope with THAT news, and… OH MY GOD POOR DANA you fought SO hard against all odds to give us this show, this previous love-child of your mind and heart and spite, for this!? But it might not be too late- If we assault Disney with our demand, they MIGHT just change their mind! SO GET ON WITH IT! Let the cartoon community rally AGAIN!

           But, right-

           The first half of episodes for Season 2 is going to be TEN episodes, the second half will be eleven! Already better than the first season, but as a reminder, that’s what we’re getting so far before our mid-season hiatus! And on THAT note…

           We have confirmation for the first FIVE episodes, which will begin airing just a mere FOUR WEEKS from now! We have Separate Tides, Escaping Expulsion, Echoes of the Past, Keeping Up A-fear-ances, and Through the Looking Glass Ruins!

           These episode titles spell out “SEEK T”, presumably “Seek t(he)”, so we can already guess the next two episodes after TtLGR! That leaves fourteen more letters for the Season 2 message; The last one was “A witch loses a true way,” so perhaps this season is advising Luz to seek something that will help her get back home? Something that will help her confront and defeat Belos? A little bit of both?

           Separate Tides is the season premiere! Luz is feeling guilty about the loss of Eda’s powers, poor girl, so she’s going to set sail for a lucrative bounty? Interesting… Perhaps a real Bloom of Eternal Youth? Something magical and bile-related? More lore on the nature of magic and its origins???

           Escaping Expulsion… hoo boy, THAT’s what we’ve all been looking forward to! Odalia and Alador get Luz, Willow, and Gus expelled?! No rights for them, even if that was already obvious but WOW. But more importantly, Luz strikes a deal with the two?!? What do Odalia and Alador want from Luz, to get her back into Hexside?!?!

           Dana mentioned how Season 1 had more focus on Hexside at Disney’s request. Given how Season 2 is more her style and freedom, we might see Luz and the others remain expelled from Hexside, if only to detach them from the coven system for the time being as their rebellion grows… And give focus to OTHER things as well! Which is going to suck a LOT and I’m going to hate Odie and Al even more for this, taking away not just Luz’s opportunity but also Willow and Gus’… Especially Willow since they DID follow through on that threat, holy shit, Amity and Willow must be hurt and traumatized from this!

           But what do Odalia and Alador want from Luz? Do they want to use her as leverage against Belos? To use her FOR Belos? I’m suddenly reminded of that idea I had about Odalia and Alador being interested in Luz as like, an actual suitor for Amity… GOD my Lumity heart would actually love it if that were the case! Obviously in the long run it’s bad and for THEIR purposes, but the idea of Luz learning to be more proper for them, for AMITY really… Oh man, this is reminding me of my speculation of Luz and Alador parallels! We might just see what makes Alador so interesting to Dana in this episode, and just the SECOND one of Season 2, no less- Right into the story meat!

           ECHOES OF THE PAST! King lore! KING LORE!!! Even better Luz, Lilith, and… HOOTY… go to a new island?! An island related to King’s past? Is Eda sticking with King to make sure he doesn’t do anything, or god, did King’s antics get her into trouble again? And Hooty… HOOTY is coming with Luz and Lilith???! I’m grateful for Luz and Lilith interaction, we might get to see them talk things over, but how is Hooty…? Is the house coming along?

           Dana mentioned two spoilers and a lie, one of them was Hooty leaving the house! I guess this is one of them… The others were Camila beating someone up and Gus getting a growth spurt, which we’ll get onto later; So I think Camila beating someone up is the lie! Dang it… But a dangerous new island, could this be related to the various pieces of Titan bones mentioned in The Unauthorized History of the Boiling Isles, scattered throughout the boiling seas, all alluding to another incomplete Titan?!

           Are they KING’S REMAINS??! And his bones are incomplete because he still has his SKULL!!!!

           Keeping Up A-fear-ances is pretty obviously Gwendolyn. Screw you, Gwen, and the confirmation that her presence is causing strain for everyone… YIKES. Hopefully we’ll get Young Eda and Lilith backstory, and see how they transitioned from the YBOS flashback to present-day! Perhaps Gwendolyn DID help Eda when she first transformed… Either way, I do not like her. But she’ll be fascinating to see!

           Through the Looking Glass Ruins! As I said before, Gus gets a growth spurt, and he’s trying to impress kids from Glandus… Which YES GLANDUS, more schools lore! But uhh… If they’re at Glandus, is it because they didn’t get back into Hexside after all, and they’re moving to a different school? Luz and Amity are exploring a dangerous library there, which, Lost in Language flashbacks! But why is AMITY there… Oh Titan, does SHE choose to leave Hexside at the end of Escaping Expulsion, as a means of defying her parents’ will, to go with the friends she loves! If so… YEAH AMITY! That, or she’s out on a visit. Will Amity run from home and live with the others, or maybe Willow and her dads? Gus and Perry? Or will she still be at the Blight Manor… Dana wasn’t kidding about Emira and Edric being distracted from Grom!

           Maybe Amity works something out that gets her expelled from Hexside, and Glandus is the new school for her, who knows? Perhaps it’s because of Belos, and so Odalia and Alador are furious, but they want their kid at a school regardless, so Glandus it is! The Hexside Banshees lost their best captain… Not that she was even playing so it doesn’t matter, but still! THIS would be quite a shock and change for Amity! And Luz, Willow, and Gus… Dang, they’re just losing a lot huh?

           If they ARE going to Glandus and enrolling there, then maybe the episode will end in a failure, or maybe they’re pretending to in order to access the library, maybe a library incident will get their enrollment cancelled! I’m interested in seeing Glandus’ location, we know it’s on an island elsewhere… I kind of want to see the principal of Glandus, will they be cool like Bump? Have a rivalry with him??? Hexside lore??? FORBIDDEN SHIP BETWEEN BUMP AND GLANDUS PRINCIPAL??!?!

           But yeah, those are the episode synopses, and they promise a LOT! It seems each episode so far is just pure character or plot stuff… Not to dunk on ‘filler’, which I think is misused for a lot of episodes honestly, but I like it! I guess Dana and crew have to make the most of their time thanks to Disney’s weird thing with Season 3, screw you Mickey… But yeah! I’m definitely gonna say more stuff and talk about the intro, but for now, I AM HYPED!!!

[tossawary]

@ghostly-squid: This is awesome, but I specifically meant "who hears SQH, Professionally Pathetic Retainer of Great MBJ, profess great undying love for the (who still "gently" beats him) dude he cowers before openly and often in (demon) public, and goes 'Yea, I can buy that no questions asked, MBJ is a complete catch and SQH doesn't deserve him'" while SQH is just 🙃 because YES FAIR POINT but also that has GOT to grate at least a little bit, at the teeny tiny bit of pride he's keeping

For like, Decoration, and this all makes me wonder that MORE!! What does SQH think?!? (Or is it just stuck on "HAHA FUCK THIS, THIS SUCKS, IT'S EVERYTHING I WOULD HAVE SECRETLY WANTED BUT TERRIBLE" which is super valid. The lesson is "don't have dreams or the universe and OP Demon Lords will twist them just to fuck with you") (also, I was specifically wondering if MBJ has a split second panic of "holy shit, IS he secretly in love with me?!? He's very convincing"

Or just "see THIS shit is why I don't trust you one bit: you're way too good at pulling Absolute Nonsense out of nowhere")

I chose this specific time period because 1) I didn’t want to deal with the Cang Qiong Mountain Sect side of politics and 2) Mobei-Jun is probably still in his “all humans are ultimately untrustworthy and it’s beneath me to feel anything positive for a human this pathetic” phase, if hopefully near the end of it. 

I was imagining that since Mobei-Jun gives a brief rundown of the situation before thrusting Shang Qinghua in front of the Demon Emperor to grovel and plead and fabricate on a level that Mobei-Jun and his family just cannot match, Shang Qinghua gets to have a brief moment of, “WAIT, YOU WANT ME TO WHAT?! PRETEND I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU TO PLACATE TIANLANG-JUN?! MY KING?! Oh, man, what terrible story did this trope escape from...” 

Mobei-Jun and Shang Qinghua both go into this as a Fake/Pretend Relationship kind of deal. So, for a seethingly panicked Mobei-Jun, it’s more of the, “See THIS shit is why I don’t trust you one bit: you’re way too good at pulling Absolutely Nonsense out of nowhere.” ESPECIALLY because if Mobei-Jun didn’t know that his pitiful human servant is lying, he would absolutely be like, “Holy shit, IS he secretly in love with me?!? He’s very convincing.” 

So Mobei-Jun spends, like, the first half of this fic extremely angry over the fact that 1) he’s attracted to a human being, 2) he was forced to marry a human being, 3) the human being is his lowly servant and not even anyone particularly beautiful or impressive, 4) the human being is actually kind of funny and affectionate and clever and loyal, and 5) he cannot trust any of the human being’s affection because it’s all a lie, no matter how real it seems. 

Until Shang Qinghua just ups and leaves him (very shocking for MBJ) because he’s sick of 1) being looked down on by everyone including his own husband, 2) getting no consistent or meaningful affection or care in return out of something he hoped against all common sense might actually be at least a friendly partnership, and 3) having to dodge assassination attempts by all of their many enemies, especially the people who aren’t Mobei-Jun’s enemies but want to get rid of Shang Qinghua FOR Mobei-Jun. 

And Mobei-Jun finally has to admit that he doesn’t hate Shang Qinghua, actually, which is clearly a HUGE step for Mobei-Jun’s development. 

Only for Shang Qinghua (over some long-distance communication device, so Mobei-Jun can’t physically stop him) to be like, “That’s nice, I guess. You can’t tell that by the way you treat me, though, and it’s not worth staying married to you for. Sometimes I think I love you, but I really don’t know what you think I’m getting out of this marriage. I just got chased by a knife-wielding assassin who I think was hired by my own in-laws and that’s just one reason I’m not happy, so I’m breaking up with you. Bye and have a nice life, my king.” 

Cue Mobei-Jun having to square up emotionally and win back his own runaway husband. I must confess that I am very taken by pretty much any and all takes on Moshang having a Classic Romantic Grovel. 

Shang Qinghua’s initial opinion on all this was, “This is all happening very fast and I don’t want him dead and at this point I’m in danger of the Demon Emperor’s wrath if I bail, so I guess I’ll go for it! There is a very small chance that this won’t suck, so hey, let’s put in the effort for that!” 

[birdwonder]

Bucci Gang | Body Swap Headcanons

|| i’m just chilling w/ my phone right now and im choosing to do my next request later today so for now super lame pt 5 headcanons inspired by the body swap fiasco but like ... let’s say it was a different stand that did it and no one died/is missing.

WARNING — fem s/o ! it’s not too sexual but sorta ? in a comedic way more than spicy. i guess also pt 5 spoilers too ! 

Bucci Gang | Body Swap Headcanons

Bruno Bucciarati

- When Bruno had stopped stumbling and was no longer disorientated from the enemy’s attack, he was certainly confused as to why no extreme damage had come to him. He was really counting on the sensation of a thousand stab wounds to cover him like a sheet and yet, he felt perfectly fine. Glancing down, he still wanted to check for any externel injuries but his plan was quickly halted when he saw clothing and hands that certainly didn’t belong to him.

- “What... What is this?!” He’s nothing if not confused, much smaller than his own hands patting all around his body until they paused at his ( if he could say that ) chest. In seconds, his face blew into a bright red colour as soon as the realisation of him being in a woman’s body hit. With his clever perception, Bruno had also come to recognise that the clothing he was adorned in was strikingly similar to [F/N]’s, meaning one thing ...

- “Bruno Bucciarati, what the hell are you doing?!” 

God, it gave the man whiplash to see his own face scruched up with anger while his body marched towards him. The small pink tint on his own face had confused him however, if that was you then maybe you were just embarrassed of him being in your body or vice versa? Now that he thought about it, he really hoped you hadn’t done anything scandulous as him, not that he suspected you would.

- When you suddenly slapped Bruno’s, or your’s really, hands away from their position, he was quick to understand your fury. He had just technically groped you in a way. “Wait, wait, it’s not as it seems! I’m sorry, [F/N]—”

- After a rushed explanation and excuse for his actions, and a what his theory of the stand’s power was, the two of you agreed that you should start to look for the enemy and get back to your own bodies soon for both of your sakes. Bruno did appreciate the soft comfort he had to grip on temporarily though.

Leone Abbachio

- The drastic change in perspective that Abbachio had five minutes ago to now left him horribly bewildered. Why was everything so much taller now ? He was certain that he wasn’t lying nor sitting down.

- All he could do was confusingly turn around and look up at everything around him to try and figure out what was happening. Was he shrinking? That was a possible answer but why wasn’t he going down any more?

- The answer to his dilemma was clear when you, in his body, approached him frantically, hands gripping his shoulders and having to lean down so that you could both be face to face, inches away from each other. Had your minds not been switched, Abbachio was sure that he would have been a little more flustered than he was dumbfounded. “Abbachio, look at us! Our minds ... they’ve been swapped and I’m— I’m- so tall, holy shit.”

- Poor Abbachio had to watch you do what he had done earlier, looking around the whole area with wide eyes and total shock. You just couldn’t believe how different things looked! Oh, was this how Abbachio saw you? Jeez, maybe you should be more careful with how you part your hair if he can see too much of it.

- His jaw dropped when you started to check him out, pulling at the strings connecting his v-line while peering down to see his chest and stomach. You let out a low whistle, clearly impressed by what you were seeing, “damn your physique is good. I didn’t know you worked out, Abba!” Please kill him now before the embarrassment does first. Again, if your minds had not been swapped then he would be relishing in your praise but it was incredibly hard, and annoying.

- “Stop that, damn it!” He yelled at you, his shame worsening when he realised that his tone didn’t come off nearly as scary as it did when he was in his own body, in fact you were even laughing a little at him. Well, if you wanted to play it like that... Abbachio moved his hands to have one placed on your body’s backside and another on your breast, his anger momentarily diminishing when he squeezed both. Fuck they were soft—

- “Oh hell no!” You cried, now as equally as bashful as Abbachio was. Sure you got a little bit too curious but you weren’t touching his body up! With a huff, you mimicked his move to the extent that you placed both hands on his ass, suddenly pausing when you came into contact with it. “SIR, wHERE IS YOUR ASS?”

Pannacotta Fugo

- He’s fucking dying on the inside; he can’t do this. Someone please take him out of his misery because he can not handle being in the body of the girl he was  super into.

- Fugo  in all honesty didn’t try anything funny while in your body but the shame of it was too much. On one hand, he was grateful that it gave him a chance to admire the cute little imperfections you had such a scars and small spots on your arms that he hadn’t notice from his usual distance from you, while on the other he was afraid to be stuck like this forever.

- When he finally found you, the idea of you also looking over his body, as he had done with your’s to a respectable extent, flustered him greatly and he struggled to get any words out at first, “we should, uh, really find that enemy stand user. ahem.”

- “Yeah! You’re super cute and all, Panni, but I really want to be back in my own body, it’s more comfortable for me! Plus, your fashion style isn’t really my go to.” You laughed softly at your last comment, taking hold of Fugo’s hand to guide the two of you into a rough guess of a direction to where the enemy stand user could be. Meanwhile, the ‘cute’ comment replayed a thousand times like a broken record in Fugo’s mind, both a faint blush and smile taking over him as he nodded and followed your lead.

- When Mista or Narancia asked him afterwards if he had done any ‘research’ while in your body, he threatened to kill them both as he tried to stab both with cutlery. During that, you were covering your face and internally screaming at the idea of Fugo seeing the more private side of you, especially when you would rather show him on your own accord.

Narancia Ghirga

- Since the situation was a lot less life threatening than the Chariot Requiem one, Narancia was a lot more comedical about it. Sticking his temporary body’s hip out, he placed a hand upon it while another weaved it’s fingers through the hair that could only be called your’s. Narancia batted his eyes exaggeratedly while placing on a high pitch voice, poorly impersonating you.

- “Ooh, Mr Narancia! Please, take me!” He mockingly begged, strutting towards you that in a fashion that made you want to burst out laughing and shrivel up in shame since it was your body that was looking absolutely ridiculous. Wrapping his arms around your neck, it allowed you to notice the height difference that he had to see on a day to day basis but that was hardly a main thought when he started to rub his cheek against your’s. “You’re just so studly and handsome, my body just needs your touch!”

- After a pregnant pause, the two of you erupted into laughter, wheezing and coughing as though you were being choked out. If the stand who had done this to you both wanted you dead, then it was certainly working seeing as you were both soon to die of laughter. Wiping a tear away, your giggles died out and you gently whacked Narancia over the head, which would have been a regret for future you if it was any tougher. “You’re so silly, Narancia, we should be looking for the stand user not messing about!”

- “Yeah, yeah, I know,” he whined, still having to force a few laughs down. “I think my impression of you was pretty good though, right?” He jokingly winked at you only for his expression to falter to surprise when you sent a more flirtatious one back, stroking his cheek faintly while you walked past him to start your search.

- “Oh, it was brilliant, you know what I want so well!~”

Guido Mista

- His actions were incredibly similar to when he realised that he was in Trish’s body, when he instinctively placed his gun into where the front of his pants would be only to realise that it didn’t rest upon his crotch just quite the same.

- After frantically groping at the soft breasts he had seemingly grown and complaining that he was missing the best part of himself, Mista noticed that his own face was looking at him distraught and embarrassed. “Mista... You’re in my body. [F/N]’s.”

- Mista apologised quickly once you said that, now understanding the situation. You both had swapped bodies! How could he have not noticed? Especially when it was your body, something which he had discreetly checked out a few times before, since well c’mon. You were like a goddess. 

Speaking of, Mista was sure this was actually a Heaven of some sorts since he had full control over what he did with your body, which was kind of exciting! At least, it would be if you weren’t there to judge his movements. 

- “Ugh, Mista you stink,” you complained, raising an arm to your nose to take a whiff only to gag instinctively at the scent that violated your senses. Seriously, who wears a cashmere sweater with a wool hat in Italy? The amount he sweats must be ungodly! The hat was seriously starting to get itchy too, leaving you no choice but to take it off dramatically with a cry from Mista.

- “Hey, I’m not that bad!” The gunslinger argued, snatching the hat from your grasp so he could reach up and force it back onto his hair, hiding the thick curls that had momentarily escaped from their woollen captivity. Scoffing, you turned your nose up and looked to the side, refusing to look at him, “it is and you know it. If we’re stuck like this all day then I’m seriously going to have a shower for you.”

- Mista smirked at that. It was a weird look to see on yourself but it still made you fluster at your own words and his overactive imagination. “Oh? I mean, if you wanted to see my body that bad then you could just ask, babe. I wouldn’t mind showing you,” he cooed, snickering when you shoved his face away with a ‘shut up!’

Giorno Giovana 

- Giorno was massively taken back when the situation the both of you were in were clear. He was in your body and you in his. This stand ability ... seemed so incredibly useless. Granted, it left the two of your flabbergasted and frantic for a while but in the end you both adjusted pretty well to the change and were read to take down the stand user.

- You were a little curious though, reaching up to play with the buns in Giorno’s hair and stroking a finger over the lady bugs on his attire. Not to mention is ‘boob window’ as you jokingly called it, much to his dismay. “You’re pretty brave to wear something like this, Giorno,” you told him, glancing into a nearby shop window to look yourself over, even secretly admiring the blond’s good looks. How could he look so good and not even act like a primadonna? “Plus, you make it look good.”

- Giorno hummed in response, arms wrapped over his chest as he stood a feet or two away from you while still being able to side glance the window to see his own reflection. He was certainly flattered by your praise and could easily repay it tenfold seeing as he thought you were stunning both physically and as a person, yet his mind was too focused on finding the enemy. “Mh, grazi, you could make it look good too,” he murmured, not really thinking too hard over his words since he didn’t think it was the time.

- “I would?” You choked out, wheezing a little at what he had said. Wearing an outfit like his in your actual body would give you a very ‘out there’ look, one you’re not sure you could even wear in public. “I mean, I’m glad you think so but I didn’t take you the type to say something so bold so suddenly, Giorno...!”

- That pulled him from his thoughts. “Hm? What do you mean, I just meant you could look good in anything, I mean,” he then made a gesture to the reflection in the window, smiling softly, “I’m not blind, I stand by what I meant.”

- Gulping, you nodded slowly, averting your eyes from his since you were certain he would be able to notice a blush on his own face. “Oh I see, it’s just I thought you meant you wanted me to have the boob window look too,” you laughed, nervously scratching your cheek. 

- “Oh, no, no! I didn’t mean- Well, I’m not saying it’d be a bad look on you but I just meant-” Giorno, a typically well composed person, was stuttering like crazy, unable to even look at you much like you. Really, the both of you were messes.

- “It’s fine, it’s fine. Let’s just get going, yeah?” You reassured, placing a hand onto Giorno’s or uh, your’s shoulder. Nodding, he smiled and agreed, “we should before the user escapes, and you know if I’m right, they must be somewhere around...”

Trish Una

- Trish was just as shocked as you were when she realised what was going on! You both had a screaming session until one of you calmed down, taming the other’s screams until the two of you caught your breathes. 

- “How -?! Did that guy from earlier do this?!” Trish panicked, looking up at your desperately with your own eyes, which was little off putting at first since it was so weird but you looked past it and shrugged. “I mean, that’s the only thing that makes sense, right? Right now we should really be looking for him to swap back.”

- “Yeah, you’re right,” she nodded before immediately marching off to find the stand user, you quickly catching up to her and walking along side her. After a few minutes of awkward silence, Trish spoke up suddenly, your head turning to the side to realise that her hands were moving up and down your hips while her eyes were glued onto your body. 

- “Woah [F/N], you look great! I mean, your hips are so nice and you work these clothes so well!” Her praise made you chuckle a little, the flattery warming your heart. Looking down at yourself, you already knew Trish looked amazing so repaying the compliment was no feat. 

- “Thanks hon, you’re beautiful yourself, y’know? I mean, you’re so slender and pretty after all.” Trish blushed at your words, gently slapping your arm while giggling like a teenage school girl. “Oh stop, I don’t need you to be nice back, I just wanted to tell you what’s been on my mind for ages now!”

- “Is that so?” You asked, surprised that Trish thought so highly of you and even thinking that you were hearing things for a second. Honestly, you were pretty sure you were going to go have a heart attack from how quick your heart was beating - to be praised by someone so pretty, sweet and loveable was something you couldn’t fathom yet it was still happening. “Well I’ve always thought you were pretty anyways, not to forget amazingly kind and badass for sticking through all of this!”

- From there, the two of you spent the rest of your search praising each other and by the time you found the stand user, your bond had grown strong enough to land an amazingly co-ordinated attack, to which you both returned to praising each other over.

- Once you met up with the rest of the Bucci gang, the rest of the boys were pretty much ignored for the day as the two of you either held hands or linked arms together while chatting about similar interests and making plans to one day go shopping or to a cafe together once everything was over. Narancia was allowed to join in every now and then though, to which Mista complained over. 

[samanthadalton]

Hi, it's me again ina fan🤭 what do you think about mc trying on ina's glasses and pretending to be her/teacher in front of the mirror? And then the situation turned to funny/steamy atmosphere? You previous fanfic was amazing 💖💖 thank you ❣️

hi anon im so sorry it took a while to write but i did it hope you enjoy 

The imitation game

When Ina called you to come to her office on a saturday afternoon you weren’t expecting her to give you an entire load of papers to grade alongside her. When you knocked on her office door, she looked up at you, her expression exasperated as she sat at her desk with a huge stack of papers and books scattered all over it. She took off her glasses and ran a hand down her face, ‘Bea, I’m glad you’re here’ she gestured at the mess in front her, ‘I know you probably don’t want to spend your afternoon grading papers but I’m practically swimming in these deadlines’ her voice sounding fatigued. It kinda looked like she barely got any sleep the night before and knowing Ina and her work ethic? It isn’t surprising if she didn’t get any sleep at all last night. 

You walk into the office and take a seat opposite Ina’s desk with your hand out, ‘give me a red pen and the papers I have to grade’, you know better than to retort with anything smart since Ina looks like she could use a helping hand and you are her TA afterall. Ina passes the papers over to you with a grateful smile and just as your fingers brush together she quickly pulls away and turns her attention to her computer screen, guess she was serious about the whole needing help after all.  

……

A couple of hours go by and after marking about a billion papers, you feel your hand is about to fall off because it hurts so much so you decide to stretch your legs and walk around the office. You move behind the desk and check out Ina’s bookshelf but Ina’s attention is fixated on her computer screen that she hasn’t even realised that you’re next to her arm out with a glass of bourbon taken from her secret stash hidden in the globe which you still think is super cool. 

‘Ahem, Ina’ you lightly tap her shoulder and she almost jumps out of her seat, startled by your touch. You clutch the glasses in your hands a little tighter and Ina settles back down in her seat, her face flushing slightly red, whether it was from the embarrassment or your sudden touch, you’re unsure. 

‘Oh thank you Bea’ she plucks one of the glasses from your hand and takes a huge gulp being heavily sighing and taking her glasses off and putting them on the desk and starts to rub at her eyes. 

You frown slightly at Ina, she looks like crap and honestly? The atmosphere in this room is just so downcast and negative, so in that moment you look at Ina’s glasses sitting on the desk and you get an idea to alleviate some of the bad vibes. 

While Ina nurses her fatigue with her drink you swipe the glasses off her desk and put them on, ‘holy shit Ina, you’re literally blind’ you hold the lenses of the glasses while exaggeratingly blinking. 

Ina looks up at you confused, ‘Bea they’re just reading glasses’ 

‘Yeah I know but I’ve always wanted to say that to someone’ 

Ina stares at you for a few seconds before chuckling, ‘you’re really something else Bea’ 

You look at Ina, mimicking her usual stance with your posture straight and a finger on the edge of the lense of the glasses and reply, ‘you’re really something else Bea’

‘Are you mimicking me Bea?’ 

‘Are you mimicking me Bea?’ you make sure to enunciate every word in the same way Ina does, while overemphasising your new york accent. 

Ina lets out a small laugh, ‘okay funs over let’s get back to work’ 

‘Oh come on professor’ you lean down so you’re leveled with Ina, ‘aren’t you at least the tiniest bit curious of how I see you?’ 

Ina raises a eyebrow, you can see the hint of a small smile gracing her features as she contemplates your inquiry before sighing and says ‘indulge me Miss Hughes’ 

You give a small cheer and move to the opposite side of the desk and begin to imitate the way Ina stands once again, making sure to stand as straight as you can, you raise your chin a little before clapping your hands together, ‘Bea I need you to grade these papers, my publisher is on my ass about these deadlines’. You look over at Ina who looks amused but she doesn’t say anything as she awaits for what you say next. 

‘Anthropology isn’t just about research. It’s about our lives’ you squint your eyes a little, deepening your voice and begin walking across the room and back pretending you’re talking to an entire classroom. ‘Anthropology is all about seeing what makes us human, we study human beings and analyse our very existence. Blah blah blah anthro blah blah blah society’ 

Ina’s practically gleaming as the corners of her eyes are creased almost like she’s holding back a laugh but also because your impression of her is pretty much spot on, ‘So is that how I sound in class, you’re making me sound like some kind of bore.’ 

You beam at her, ‘pretty much, but in my defense I’m not really focused on the teaching most of the time’ 

Ina raises an eyebrow bemused, ‘oh? So what do you focus on?’ her tone coming off as extremely playful

‘I only have eyes for you professor’ you batter your eyelashes flirtatiously at her as she gets out of her seat and stands right in front of you. You cup her face and bring her face to yours, kissing her slowly, letting your tongues tangle up together until Ina softly moans and grabs your hips and kisses you passionately. Your tongues move in tandem as her tongue caresses yours, and you stay locked in your embrace for a couple of minutes until Ina pulls away. 

‘I never did say how sexy you look in glasses’ she moves her hands to your face and lightly touches the frames of the glasses looking at you admirably and you can’t help but blush. 

‘Well I can’t really see myself that clearly but I bet I do’ you take off the glasses and blink profusely and Ina chuckles and moves to kiss you again and you drop her glasses on the floor to reciprocate the kiss. 

Ina grabs your hips and starts guiding you towards the desk until a loud crunching sound breaks you out of the kiss. You look down to see Ina’s glasses under your shoe and you gape your mouth wide open while Ina lifts a hand to her mouth trying to hide a laugh. 

‘Ina, I-, I’m so sorry, I’ll pay for that’ you bend down to pick up the glasses in which the frames snapped and the glass is slightly cracked. 

‘Well I guess we’re done for the day since I need my glasses to read’ your face flushes red with embarrassment but Ina places a sweet chaste kiss on your lips, ‘I’m just joking Bea but if you want you can go home now, I’m sure you want to enjoy the rest of your saturday’ 

You push Ina against her desk, ‘well I wanna stay here with you’ and you and Ina enjoy the rest of the evening in each other’s embrace.

[everybodyscupoftea]

idk you yet: next up forever

reggie peters x oc

and if you’re broken. you’ll make your own thing

There was nothing quite like the rush of playing in front of a large crowd. Reggie loved the band’s chemistry in the garage they used to practice in or the energy of small crowds they played for in the back rooms of record shops while they were trying to make it big, but there was no feeling greater than playing a stadium full of people screaming their name.

Luke loved it too, he ate it up, and he was always on fire, always at his best, which in turn fueled Alex to match his boyfriend’s energy, and Reggie could just feed off of them. When they got signed to their first big label, Reggie could just remember Luke’s flushed cheeks, his, “This is going to be great, guys. We’re going to be great.” 

“Legends, even,” Alex added.

Which Reggie thought maybe was a bit much, they were still young, still largely untested, but he loved the enthusiasm. Bobby was a bit more chill, probably the most levelheaded of them all, and the least driven by emotion, but even he was vibrating with excitement.

Then they started planning for a tour. Reggie hadn’t even realized a national tour was possible while they were still teenagers. Hell, he didn’t even realize releasing a full album was possible.

“Boy bands do it all the time, think about One Direction,” Bobby told him quietly while Luke chattered on to Alex about songs he’d written that he thought were perfect for a first album. Reggie was grateful Luke wasn’t the one to read his facial expression that clearly was showing some sort of doubt.

The first tour was incredible, smaller venues, but they sold most of them out. Sunset Curve was new and people were curious. The second tour was where it all became insanely real. Reggie can remember the day Luke ran into the garage, beaming.

He flopped on the couch, which wasn’t unusual, and propped his head up on his hand, “So, I talked to Drew today.” Their manager.

Alex hummed, sitting down next to him, “What about?” If Luke had gone and made decisions without the rest of them, he was the most likely to react in a way that wouldn’t hurt Luke’s feelings, but would still remind him that they were a group.

“He thinks we should do a world tour after releasing our second album.”

Reggie’s eyebrows shot up. He knew they were big, he knew they were popular in a few countries overseas, but he didn’t know they were world tour big. The other two boys were also shocked into silence. Their second album was fairly close to release, they’d released a single for it the week before, but a world tour already.

“Holy shit,” Bobby mumbled, and then a few seconds later, “holy shit!” 

“Yeah!” Luke was practically shaking as he jumped to his feet and onto the table, “Guys, this is it. We’ve made it.”

Reggie snorted, “Okay, well, we don’t know that the tour’s going to sell.” 

“It’ll sell,” Luke clearly had the confidence to carry the rest of the group through it, which Reggie could get behind. He couldn’t quite shake one of his mom’s lessons growing up: temper your excitement because things rarely go as planned.

So they got to work. They put the finishing touches on their second album, which did extremely well, some of the songs flying up the charts to the number one spot for a few days. They announced their tour, a few weeks later the dates and locations. Some arenas sold out within minutes. When they found that out, Luke bragged, not hesitating to throw in, “I told you so,” every time it came up. 

They planned a show, put together a list of their favorite songs off both their albums, worked out effects they wanted to put on something fun for their fans. Reggie was a lot more hands on in that process, not the most gifted with tech, but was the most interested in actually looking impressive outside of just the music.

Then they had to find an opening band. Someone who they could get along with, someone smaller that they could help get exposure. Reggie found them first, on YouTube, a couple called Double Trouble, also based in Los Angeles. After watching a few of their videos, Luke approved wholeheartedly and got Drew to contact them. Double Trouble was ecstatic, and thus, the details were finalized.

And the tour was great, they started in the South and worked their way up the Midwest, hit a few cities in Canada, down the East Coast and ended up home along the West Coast for a few shows. 

Reggie was constantly exhausted, it felt like a daze. Travel, play, adrenaline rush, eat, crash, repeat. And everything was great, they played consistently well, and after a few shows, he thought they really got the routine down pat. It worked really well for them, and the boys were thrilled with all the choices Reggie made.

The only problem was that it got lonely. He felt like he was surrounded by couples. Luke and Alex, Julie and Flynn, Bobby and his girlfriend that showed up every so often when she could get off work. Reggie was truly the only one alone. Which was fine, they were busy, but sometimes, sometimes the loneliness was heavy.

It all built, crushing him slowly as they crawled their way through tour, more and more dinners after the show feeling like a double date he was just crashing while Bobby stayed in to FaceTime his girlfriend.

October

When it finally overflowed was after their show in San Jose. It sold out, most of their California shows did, and that one was especially incredible to him. The fucking SAP Center. He knew a lot of their fans were Californians, that’s where they got their start, but he wasn’t prepared for that. 

They went to a local place, something small that they likely wouldn’t be recognized much at, and once again, he got the double date vibe. The couples talking lowly amongst each other, relaxed and comfortable, while Reggie picked at the straw paper on the table and stuck it to the condensation on his beer bottle.

He wasn’t sure if it was the fatigue that made him snap or just that the weight of his loneliness got too much to bear, he was out of his seat before his brain caught up and mumbled for them to get him something takeout, that he was going back to the bus.

Luke started to protest, hopping out of the booth to grab his arm, but he must’ve seen something on Reggie’s face that caused him to reluctantly drop his arm. Reggie wasn’t sure what expression he had, but it must’ve been something raw to make Luke give up that easily. Eyes burning, he shoved his hands in his pocket and left the restaurant, desperate to crash in his bunk and sleep it off.

Shoulders slumped, Reggie headed back toward the arena, staring at the cracks in the concrete as he walked, not wanting to attract even the slightest bit of attention. That’s when it happened.

-

William pretty much kept to a routine. It was easier for him, especially during the season, and it kept his dog happy. There was something that night, some anxiousness about the upcoming season maybe, that had him out and about after dark, walking Luna down the sidewalk near the arena.

There had been more traffic than usual that night, he wasn’t sure why, maybe a concert at SAP, but he wanted to see it. Before fans flocked there, and before he was contractually obligated to show up and be on top of his game. 

It was something he did in college too, sat in the bleachers right before the season and soaked in the stillness of the rink. The calm before the storm. He couldn’t get into the big arena, not without keys and a certain level of clearance he didn’t have, but he could walk around, using the facade of taking Luna on a walk as his reason.

He almost ran into the boy, more focused on staring at the buildings around him than the sidewalk. It was late, he assumed no one would be out, clearly he was wrong. Luna barking and pulling on her leash snapped him out of his trance, confused as to why she’d be freaking out.

The boy obviously hadn’t seen him either, hands shoved deep into his pockets, staring at the ground, and giving off huge leave me alone vibes. William almost recoiled, he looked so sad. But maybe sad wasn’t the right word. Morose maybe.

Luna could tell too, he thought. She was pretty perceptive like that. William only had to consider for half a second before giving in. Dogs always cheered people up, right? He let her pull him over until he was right in front of the boy who stumbled back at his sudden appearance, startled look on his face.

“Sorry,” William said quickly, trying to look as apologetic as possible, “didn’t mean to startle you.” 

The boy shrugged, staring at him inquisitively, eyes narrowed as if he was trying to figure him out. It made him a little uneasy, but he figured maybe the boy was a hockey fan.

“Can I pet your dog?” he asked quietly, staring down at Luna where she was practically chomping at the bit to get to him.

“Yeah, of course!” 

William took the time to study him while the boy squatted down to pet her. He was cute, William realized, and looked slightly familiar, though he couldn’t quite place it. Maybe he was from the area or lived in William’s building.

The boy was gentle, murmuring quietly to Luna while stroking her head. He couldn’t be sure, but William thought his shoulders started to lower where they’d been defensively tensed around his ears before.

Luna jumped up, resting her two front paws on his knees, and licked his cheek, drawing a soft laugh. William immediately wanted to hear it again, he was entranced. Soon, too soon in William’s opinion, the boy was gently lowering Luna back to the sidewalk and standing back up.

He cleared his throat and gave William a small smile, “Thanks. Dogs fix everything.”

“I agree,” William answered quickly before taking his chance, “I’m William by the way.” 

“Reggie,” the boy answered, holding his hand out for William to shake. He did happily, trying to keep the shake out of his hands as excitement started to build.

“You from around here, Reggie?” he asked, genuinely curious and not wanting to let him go.

“Los Angeles actually.”

William couldn’t stop the frown, totally unsure why Reggie looked familiar. He hummed, “Sucks, NorCal is 100% a better place to live.”

Reggie laughed, “Oh yeah? Seems a bit biased.” 

“Totally unbiased,” William crossed a finger over his heart, “I’ve been there.”

“So you live around here?” Reggie crossed his arms.

“I do. A few blocks away.” 

“Seems a little late to be out and about.”

“Luna wanted a walk,” William told him, and in a rare state of perfect honesty, “plus was feeling a little anxious.”

“What about?” Reggie asked before flinching, “Oh God, I’m so sorry. That was super intrusive, feel free not to answer that.” 

William laughed, “Oh nothing, nerves over a new job.”

“Ah,” he nodded a bit knowingly, “stage fright.” 

Narrowing his eyes, William nodded slowly, “Something like that.” 

A comfortable silence lapsed, and Reggie’s eyes started to droop a bit. He blinked a few times and let out a sigh, “I should probably get going. It’s been a long night.” 

“Me too,” William smiled wryly, “should attempt to get at least a little sleep before I have to be up early.” 

“Feel that.” 

Just as soon as Reggie went to side step him, to walk away forever, William blurted, “Wait.” 

Reggie froze, head snapping up to meet his eyes, “Yes?” 

“Can I,” he drew in a breath and gathered his courage, “could I get your number?”

Tilting his head, Reggie looked him over, William could see the carefully masked surprise, “Um, yeah, sure.” 

William beamed, and held his hand out for Reggie’s phone. Eyebrows raised, Reggie passed it over. Typing in his number, William couldn’t help but add a shark emoji. Maybe it was a bit on the nose, but he thought it was at least a little funny.

Reggie wrinkled his eyebrows, but texted him to make sure William had his number too. His stomach swooped as it popped up on his screen.

Hey it’s Reggie

“Thank you,” he gushed, trying to mask his excitement a bit, “I’ll text you later.” 

Reggie smiled, and it seemed genuine, “I’m looking forward to it.”

-

Reggie was oddly nervous. He’d never met anyone quite like William, the boy who either didn’t know who he was or didn’t care. Laying in bed, he passed his phone back and forth between his hands, waiting for a text that didn’t seem to be coming.

Did he hallucinate William out of pure tiredness, he wondered, scrambling to check. Nope, he’d sent a text. Maybe William fell asleep as soon as he got home. Or forgot. 

A voice in his head that sounded oddly like Alex suggested, ‘text him’ which seemed a bit absurd at first, but the idea started to grow on him. Thumbs hovering over the keypad, he eventually came up with something simple.

Hope you made it home okay

The response wasn’t immediate, but came pretty soon after.

Just made it, was about to text you

Reggie smiled goofily, and stared at the message. Shaking his head, he knew he needed to respond.

Guess I’m just faster.

The next text from William was immediate.

Doubt it. Just more impatient.

Reggie snorted.

Also true.

The typing bubbles appeared and disappeared a few times while Reggie waited with baited breath. 

So what are you up to?

Reggie hesitated, should he tell this boy who he was or keep it vague?

In bed, probably going to sleep soon

He figured it was probably the right move when William texted back.

Same, got an early morning tomorrow. It was nice meeting you though, talk tomorrow?

Reggie’s stomach actually fluttered, he didn’t even know it could do that.

Sounds great

He fell asleep with a smile on his face and when he woke up, phone pressed to his chest, battery dangerously low, there was already a text from William and a picture of Luna attached.

Good morning, hope you slept well. We sure did.

Reggie sighed, thankful that it wasn’t all a dream.

I did, thanks. Good luck with your new job today

William didn’t text back for a while, but Reggie didn’t really expect him too. He knew not every job was like his, so he figured William wasn’t allowed his phone much at work. Which was fine, he’d just wait with a little ball of anxiety in his chest until he got a response.

It turned into a routine after that. William always responded at the weirdest times. Sometimes in the afternoon, sometimes at night, and sometimes in the morning. Reggie never could pin down his schedule, just went with the flow as they worked their way through the western states.

The boys were never really sports guys. If they did keep up with anything it was basketball. But one night, out of pure coincidence, Reggie found himself on a channel playing a hockey game. It looked interesting, and one of the teams was the Sharks which he faintly remembered played at the arena they’d performed at the night he met William.

Maybe he could talk to William about it later, he seemed like the type to be into sports. So Reggie settled in and texted him, unsure if he’d even get a response.

You a hockey fan?

And then a few seconds later after a brutal hit.

I wasn’t but this is kinda fun. I’m sure you’re a sharks fan, they look good

He took a liking to a particular player, number 23 that the announcers kept calling Harris. Reggie found himself at the edge of his seat as the other team started to come back, the Sharks struggling to hold their lead.

“Come on,” he muttered under his breath, nervously checking the clock, “so close.” 

He pulled his phone out as the other team called a timeout.

If you aren’t into hockey you should check this out, I’m so invested

The game started again and he put his phone down, paying full attention to the TV. He tapped his knee as the last minute of the game stretched out, totally confused why the other team’s goalie just dipped, but invested nonetheless.

When it ended, he let out a relieved breath as the Sharks managed to hold on and win. Reggie stood up, shaking out his fingers which he didn’t realize he’d been clenching into his pants. He walked away from the TV, needing a break, and went to find something to eat.

Their cabinets were sparse, so he left the bus, wandering to the nearest grocery store to pick something up. His phone buzzed a few times, no doubt William texting him back, and he juggled the items in his hands to fish it out of his pocket.

Hockey’s cool. Probably my favorite sport. Picked a tough game to watch though. Calgary is pretty good this year, but the Sharks will get it figured out

Reggie chuckled and typed out his response with one hand while he waited for the people in front of him in the checkout line to move.

You seem like you know your stuff

The typing bubble appeared and disappeared for a minute straight, oddly reminiscent of the first night Reggie texted him, before the next text finally came through.

Yeah, hockey’s been part of my life for a while

After setting the boxes down and paying, Reggie responded.

Long time fan then. Always liked the Sharks?

Reggie didn’t get another text for a few minutes and figured it was one of those nights William was working.

Nope, liking the sharks is a new development. Started when I moved here

Stirring the pasta, Reggie nodded and decided to text him back when he sat down to eat. It never happened. He’d left the TV on accidentally, and when he sat back down on the couch, the men on screen were breaking down the game.

“William Harris in particular was impressive tonight. He really stepped up on the penalty kill, that game would’ve been a loss if he hadn’t played like he did.” 

A picture of his William popped up on the screen. Well, Reggie was pretty sure. He didn’t quite look like he did when Reggie met him, and sure he’d only seen William that one time, but he was pretty fucking sure that was him.

Hands shaking, Reggie exited their text thread and was hitting FaceTime before even realizing what he was doing. It took William a few rings to pick up, and he smiled, looking a little surprised.

“Why are you on my TV? Or at least I think it’s you,” Reggie blurted, not even saying hello.

William blinked, surprised, “What?” 

Reggie flipped the camera to show where they were still talking about this Harris player he’d been enamored with during the game. He watched William’s face carefully and saw the resemblance to the guy on the TV. 

William winced and put on an apologetic smile, “Um, because I played well tonight.”

“Mhmm,” Reggie muttered, still shocked, “and you didn’t tell me, why?” 

“I thought you’d figure it out. That’s what the shark emoji was for.” 

Staring at William incredulously, Reggie managed, “In what world do I make that connection on my own?” 

William smiled sheepishly, “Maybe it was a bit of a long shot. But I mean, it’s not a big deal, right? I’m still William.” 

Reggie took a deep breath and relaxed back into the couch, “I suppose, yes.” 

“And by the way, you’re not off the hook. You didn’t tell me you were a famous musician.” 

“Oh God,” Reggie shut his eyes, “I totally meant to. I just couldn’t ever find the right time.” 

“How about, ‘hey William, I know I seem normal but I’m actually famous and definitely way out of your league’? That would suffice in my opinion.” 

Sitting up, Reggie glared at him, “Hold on, if anyone is out of anyone’s league, you’re definitely out of mine. A professional athlete, are you kidding me?” 

William scoffed, “And you have fans all over the world, I just have fans in the United States, mostly in San Jose.” 

“But you’re hot,” Reggie countered.

“So are you,” William argued and set his jaw stubbornly.

Reggie sighed, “Fine, we’re both hot. But, I’m not sure what this means.” 

“It doesn’t have to mean anything,” William sounded desperate, “we’re just two guys, right?” 

“Right.”

“And we like each other, right?” 

“Right,” Reggie repeated.

“Then let’s just be two guys who like each other. Not two relatively well known guys.” 

Letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, Reggie nodded, “Okay, I think I can do that.” 

William was silent, both of them soaking in it, and Reggie sat up, “You look exhausted, I should let you go.”

“Wait,” William protested, “I want to see you again. When are you free?”

“I probably can’t make it for a while,” Reggie admitted, “Maybe mid-November if you have some off time.” 

“November we have a homestand, I can definitely do that.” 

“I’ll send dates.” 

William blushed, “I’d like that very much.” 

“We should FaceTime more,” Reggie mused.

“We absolutely should.”

When they finally hung up, Reggie immediately hunted down his laptop to start googling hockey rules. If he was going to (hopefully) date a hockey player he should start learning about the sport. 

He didn’t think William would hold it against him if he didn’t, but hockey was clearly something the other boy was passionate about, and the least he could do was support him. Maybe the next day he’d be a bit embarrassed about the texts he’d sent, but for the night, at least he’d be preoccupied enough. 

Over the next few weeks, Reggie started to watch Sharks games, every one he could, and the ones he had to miss for shows, he’d watch highlights after, all the time looking for his favorite player. William was good, Reggie knew that from the praise he got in the media, but one night he started looking up William’s highlights particularly. Found some stuff from his stint in college hockey and fell down a rabbit hole. He pulled out his phone.

You’re like. Insanely good.

The response was quick.

Ha. Thanks

Reggie scoffed.

Not joking. I’m looking at your college stuff, you went high in the draft. Maybe I was right about out of my league.

William sent back screenshots of his playlist, a few Sunset Curve songs thrown in the mix.

I’m not the only one insanely talented.

Reggie’s cheeks heated up and his palms started to sweat.

Mostly my bandmates honestly

He could almost hear the tone William would use if they were talking over FaceTime, he’d used it many times before.

Lies and slander. I’ve watched videos too

Reggie got that fluttering in his stomach again, and he actually went to look at dates, something he’d been putting off, checking the Sharks’ schedule to see if there were any days that matched up.

Hey, how about November 14?

William FaceTimed him instead of responding. His cheeks were flushed, “Seriously?”

“Seriously.”

“Yes, absolutely. Fuck yes,” William breathed.

For the first time in a while, the loneliness crushing Reggie started to lighten. He knew his bandmates would start to notice, he knew Alex at least was confused about why the fuck he’d started watching hockey, but for the time being, William was his.

It wasn’t a secret really, not a dirty one. But Reggie shared almost everything, and he wanted something for himself. For once. With a happy sigh, he walked over to his bed and flopped down, smiling widely when one last text came in.

I can’t wait

[songfell-ut]

Chapter 8, sponsored by ADHD

Not being flippant, I absolutely have ADHD and can’t take any medications without getting heart palpitations. Hyperfocus, whoo!

Yeah, I enjoyed writing this one way too much. Chapter is here. I remain extremely grateful to @lostmypotatoes for not only the concept, but letting me jerk the characters around on her behalf. Enjoy!

The streetlights were starting to flicker on as the sun drifted below the horizon. Despite the chill wind, the crowds were shoulder-to-shoulder at the booths lining the street, and the glow from open doors illuminated a continuous flow of people moving in and out of shops and taverns.

One of the busiest establishments was a large inn not far from the castle. Standing patiently outside it was a lone, black-haired young woman; several passers-by waiting to join the line paused for a second look at her. She was dressed simply enough in a dark gown and white shawl, but her skin shone pale and flawless in the streetlamp, eyes lined in black and lips a dark crimson—very striking, even among the other women and a few young men wearing high-contrast makeup for the holiday. She'd done her best to achieve that effect, and found she rather enjoyed the attention; it was a relief that no one had—

"Heyyy, young lady," slurred a voice in her ear. "You lost?"

—hit on her yet. Frisk sighed and shifted her weight away from the beery stranger. "My husband will be out in a moment, thank you. Goodbye."

The man scoffed and leaned in closer, trapping her against the people standing in line. "Aw, darlin', don't try to pull that on me. Where's your weddin' ring?"

Frisk blinked. She hadn't accounted for anyone being drunk and observant. "Really, sir, I'm asking you nicely. Go away, or my husband will probably break your arm."

"Pffft! Right, right." The man made a grab at her shoulder. "C'mon, let's—"

Something large, swift, and angry loomed behind him. The bones of the stranger's hand went grch as a bigger hand grabbed it. Before the man could react, a glass mug smashed into the back of his head, bouncing him off the brick wall and sending him sprawling. "'Scuse you, asswipe," the newcomer said conversationally.

"Sa—honey," Frisk reproved him, accepting a mug. "You promised not to make a mess."

"'m not makin' a mess, kitten. I'm cleanin' it up." Even in his disguise, Sans towered over most of the people in the street, especially the one moaning on the cobblestones. The human-shaped boss monster draped a long arm around Frisk's shoulders, glaring down. "Ya wanna fill me in on yer conversation, pal? Sounded pretty interestin'."

The man scrambled to his feet and hobbled off into the crowd. Sans watched him go, as if debating whether to follow, then checked the people around them. No one seemed fazed; the few paying attention were pleased to see justice served, and at least one man indicated Frisk and made congratulatory gestures at him.

Sans was more than content to stay like that, but Frisk elbowed his side, wiggling her shoulder. "Sorry," he muttered, removing his arm. "Just tryin' ta stay in character."

"It's fine. You were just pulling on me a little." The High Priestess discreetly adjusted her long black wig, one of many from her predecessor's collection. She took a sip of spiced cider, impressed that he hadn't spilled any. "This is fantastic! Thank you for standing in line. This isn't too much for you, is it?" She gestured at the crowds. "Do you want to go somewhere quiet for a bit?"

"'m doin' okay," he said, but he hadn't figured out how to lie yet with a human face: he kept twitching and wrinkling his nose at strange smells or touches, and every time he scratched his neck or ear, he visibly startled himself. "'s not like I couldn' feel anythin' at all before. This is just...more." The wind picked up, and his eye twitched again.

It would have been funny if she hadn't felt so guilty. "Here." Frisk took his free hand to guide him toward a side street, marveling at how different a human hand felt than a ten-foot skeleton's—smaller, of course, but rougher, and somehow a little colder. She felt his fingers tighten and just as quickly relax, trying not to squash her. She squeezed back, and had another pang of guilt as he twitched yet again. The poor thing must have felt so overwhelmed!

The alley was cold and dimly lit, but almost silent. She released him and wrapped both hands around her mug, examining the little spices floating in the amber liquid. "Have you ever tried cider before?" she asked over the rim of the glass.

"Nope." Sans took too deep a sniff and recoiled, then brought it up more cautiously. "I had some dried apple slices once, but nothin' like this." He took the tiniest sip, smacking his lips the way she'd specifically told him not to. "Huh. Not bad." Another, bigger sip. "This's pretty good. Ya sure I can't try one of the drink-drinks they had?"

"No alcohol, Sans. We don't need you getting drunk and taking us the wrong place by accident at the end of the night."

He made an eloquently disgruntled sound, and gulped down more cider.

Frisk leaned against the wall, shivering in the breeze. Sans moved to block the wind for her, and she murmured thanks as he hunched his shoulders. The collar of his overcoat was trimmed with white fur, his shirt a bright red; his borrowed face wasn't handsome, Frisk thought, but the rough features, light hair, and blue-gray eyes made an intense and interesting picture. She liked it.

"Man, that's good stuff," the boss monster remarked, tipping the last few drops out of the mug. He glanced at hers, still half full. "Ya gonna finish that? I don't wanna wait in line again."

This was a far cry from when he'd complained about her germs on that stupid fork, but he was being good – better than good – so Frisk handed him her mug, taking his empty one to the receptacle standing on the nearest street corner for that very purpose.

As she deposited the glass, a sound at the other end of the alley brought her up short. "What's up?" Sans asked at her shoulder.

"Uh..." Frisk listened, and felt her cheeks grow hot. "We should go. We should go back right now." She pointed to the brightly lit street behind them.

Sans wasn't paying attention. "What're they doin'?" To her mortification, he downed the rest of the cider, handed the glass to her, and started ambling toward the source of the noise.

"Sans!" The priestess grabbed his arm. "I said—"

They both froze as a small, motion-activated floodlight clicked on and fully answered his question. "Huh," he said distantly.

"Sorry!" Frisk half shouted at the couple, who...why were they still going?! She dropped the mug and yanked back to the street, wondering how anyone could be that drunk already!

When she risked a glance at Sans, he looked thoughtful. "So...what was that? How were they not freezin' their butts off? You'd think they'd at least find someplace they could sit down and keep their clo—"

"Yes, you'd think!" For the first time, she wished the wind was colder on her face. The priestess stepped over to the first booth she saw. "Excuse me, ma'am. Where is the ferryman?" she asked hurriedly.

"The ferryman?" The woman behind the counter looked up and frowned in thought. "I don't know that he's here yet, dear. If he is, you'll find him near the old well on the far side of the square."

"Thank you very much." Frisk retrieved a two-dinar piece from the pockets of the dress she'd been sure to wear because it had pockets, and set it on the counter. "This way, S—honey."

"The hell are you guys talkin' about?" Sans asked as they waded back into the street, Frisk hanging on to his arm and ducking against him as crowd physics required.

"Remember, I wanted my fortune told? On All Souls Night, you're supposed to bob for apples and use the peels to tell the future, so actual fortune-tellers like to set up here. For years, I've been hearing about a man who uses some sort of card deck and is never, ever wrong. He always shows up near the river, so everyone calls him the ferryman. The problem is that he's never here at consistent times. He also charges anywhere from two hundred to a few thousand per fortune."

Sans was gaining sufficient knowledge of human society to say, "Holy shit, that's a lot. Are ya seriously gonna waste that much cash on some random guy playin' with picture cards?"

"No, I've spent all my money," Frisk said loudly, glancing around in case someone was listening, and he got the hint. The festival was fairly safe, but anything could happen in a large crowd; she was more glad than ever to have Sans with her.

They battled their way forward, the boss monster going first to carve out a path and the priestess steering him with a hand on his arm or back. "Let's stop for a minute," she said, on tiptoe, as they paused to let someone to cross the street the wrong way. "See over there?" Down a nearby side street was an avenue full of tables set with white cloths, portraits, and tiny candles. "Those are all the altars for departed rulers and other public figures. Can we take a look?"

Sans waded them across and, when they were clear of the worst foot traffic, said to her, "Never seen one before. When we have a funeral, yer loved ones spread yer dust on somethin' that meant a lot t'you, 'n that's it. They don't need ta be reminded what ya looked like every single year after that."

Frisk shrugged as they turned a corner. "There's nothing wrong with rememberi—"

The words died as they faced the other side of the street. "Oh, damn," Sans said, surprised. "Look who it is, Fr—honeypie."

The priestess numbly followed him to join several other people around a large, opulent table, boasting golden candles, a lacy cloth, fresh flowers, and a huge portrait in a gilt frame. It showed a lovely woman standing on what looked like an opera stage and waving to the audience. Her white gown almost glowed in the stagelights, as did her crown of golden flowers; more flowers lay at her feet, as if thrown by the audience, matching the bouquet cradled in her arm. She was looking up, probably smiling at someone in the balcony.

A cold hand seemed to have closed around Frisk's throat. Why hadn't she realized this would be here? "Yes?" she croaked.

"Dunno if you heard about her when you were a kid, but her name's gotta be in yer history books." Sans was tapping on the brass plate under the portrait. "I'll be damned. They actually spelled it right." He traced the engraved letters by candlelight: CHARA DREEMURR. "You know the story?" Frisk shook her head blindly. "Seriously? Welp, she fell into the Underground as a kid, and the royals adopted her. She was basically our princess till she grew up an' went back t'the humans...I wanna say it was a little over twenty years ago. Then she came back with that last delegation as a goodwill ambassador, just in time ta get blown up. Poor Tori didn't stop cryin' fer weeks."

Frisk made a politely sympathetic noise and turned away. Sans leaned in to squint at the picture, poking the canvas the way people were not supposed to. "That's messed up. Ya know what this is? This's the way her last performance shoulda ended. That's the stage they set up for her, and that's what she was wearin' that day. It was right in the middle of her last song when the thing that was supposed t'do the lights expl—"

"Are you all right, miss?" someone asked nearby. To his horror, when Sans turned around, Frisk was sitting on the curb with her head between her knees. An older man and his wife were standing over her; the woman looked up as Sans zipped over. "Is she with you?" the latter inquired.

"Yeah. Hey, sweetheart. What's wrong? Ya feelin' sick?" Sans crouched to look into her face, but she didn't move.

The older woman clucked at him like a misbehaving horse. "Look at her shaking! Get her inside and warmed up, young man!"

"Okay, okay." At a loss, Sans stood up, and crouched again. "C'mon, hon, let's go. D'you need a piggyback ride?"

Frisk was quiet, but after a moment, he received a faint nod. The boss monster turned and knelt, and the older couple helped settle Frisk on his back. "Thanks," he said as they moved away, and set off in the direction they'd been heading before their detour. At least there were some nice humans, he mused. It was a better thought than wondering what was wrong with Frisk, or how weirdly easy it was to pet-name her.

He held on tight, but not too tight, as he rejoined the crowd. Frisk was too short to hold onto his neck without throttling him, so they'd tucked her arms under his for warmth and security. She was shivering, and he could feel her heart thundering like she'd just run a mile. Everything about her was as impossibly soft as he remembered from...was it really just this morning that she'd hugged him? It felt like a year ago.

Someone jostled them, pushing her leg into him. Sans instinctively turned and snarled, "Watch where yer goin'!"

The erstwhile skeleton hadn't meant to raise his voice so much, but he didn't regret it: the crowd hastily gave way as he stomped towards the nearest building. He'd kept such a tight rein on himself since they left the castle that as long as she was acting as though this was all normal, he found that he could, too; it was actually kind of fun. But now he found himself glaring around them, almost hoping someone else would bother her. He didn't know whether it was a normal body-guarding mindset or if he'd simply gone too long without killing something.

They entered a candy shop with displays of sugar skulls, candied apples, and bottled cider. Sans found a chair against the wall and set her down, making sure she could sit up. "Heya. You okay?" he asked as she raised her head.

"I'm...I'm fine." It was as lying a lie as he'd ever heard, but Frisk did look better. She rubbed her arms and glanced around. "I'm sorry about that. ...Can I please have a caramel apple?"

Sans would have given her the entire display case – the entire store – if she wanted. He still had some "allowance," as he called the portion of his salary she'd given him before they left, and procured two apples and a bottle of cheap cider for them. She tried a sip of the latter, didn't quite make a face, and tore a huge bite out of her apple instead. "Better?" he asked.

Frisk nodded blissfully. "I didn't think I was that hungry," she said around her mouthful. "We should get a turkey leg on our way through the square."

He had no objection to that, especially when he tried a nibble of caramel apple and got his teeth stuck. Frisk held in her laughter fairly well, and nobly volunteered to eat the rest for him.

She did seem better, so he allowed her to walk, ignoring the little whine in his SOUL that wanted her closer. The festival was in even fuller swing now, but he plowed his way through to a turkey leg stand and got one for them to pass back and forth as they walked. It tasted as good as it smelled, which was amazing.

Sans was on the verge of stopping to ask if she knew where they were going when she tugged at his sleeve. "There's the old well. See the river? Let's start there."

As it happened, they didn't need to start there. No sooner had they looked at the wharf than a streetlight switched on to reveal a heap of black robes smack in the middle of the street, seated behind an oddly carved table. Both the robes and the table turned in their direction as Frisk jumped and Sans held out a protective arm. "Tra la la," said the robes.

People behind them had noticed and were starting to surge forward, fumbling in their pockets. "The lady first," the fortune-teller ordered, stopping them in their tracks.

Feeling unusually self-conscious, Frisk stepped around Sans and stood in front of the table. She had a feeling that she didn't want to look too hard under that hood; its whole figure was disquieting. "I have two questions," she said. A glance behind them confirmed a growing, impatient press of people standing a few feet away, kept at bay by Sans' glare. "Er...can I ask you privately?"

"You can't." The otherworldly voice was very matter-of-fact. "More detail, more money." There was an impressive pause. "Tra la la," it added helpfully.

"I...see." Frisk dug into her pocket and flipped the lining inside out. "I saved all year for this," she said, in case someone saw that she had placed a thousand-dinar piece on a shadowed part of the table.

"Tra la no, you didn't. Ask."

The priestess cleared her throat. Fortune-telling was all in the phrasing, so she had to be very careful. "Why did the thing from my nightmares want me to hurt him?"

A tiny flash of blue under the hood. She expected to see cards or some other divination tool, but it merely said, "He does not belong here. The child has unfinished business with him, and you are its strongest connection." The figure seemed to look at the coin for a moment. "If you want to know more, don't ask me. Beware the man who speaks in hands—he won't charge you. Tra la la."

The people waiting behind them were unimpressed, and Frisk was lost, but Sans made an incoherent sound. She looked at him, but no explanation was forthcoming, just a strange expression.

Well, if there was a chance Sans could tell her something, she wasn't going to try to get more on that subject out of the strange fortune-teller. "Second question," she said, trying not to let her voice wobble. This was the big one, so she fished another coin out and slid it next to the first.

The robed head tilted, probably because she'd just put down another five thousand. "Ask."

She swallowed. "What will be the principal differences in my life should I choose to open it, versus leaving it alone?"

There was a hissing sound, as if the figure was breathing out, or in. "An excellent question, Your Eminence." Frisk winced as the crowd whispered among itself, but the voice from under the robes went on, "You're very lucky. Most changes in life result from a thousand tiny decisions snowballing into major events, and there is no telling which of them nudged you in what direction. But you, my lady, are at a crossroads. You have two distinct futures, depending on a single choice."

The people behind them were quiet now, listening in keen interest. Frisk was half-consciously holding her breath.

"If you throw the box away, your life will be much as you expect. You will have a kind, wealthy husband who will take an interest in your happiness and be a loving father to your four children." Frisk's eyes widened, but she didn't dare interrupt him. "Your current efforts will not bear fruit, but they will be baby steps towards your mutual goal, to be possibly realized by your descendants. Your life will be like that of many others, full of little triumphs and large regrets. You will have much, and you will die of old age, surrounded by caring in-laws and adoring grandchildren, able to look back on a life that was...adequate."

"Holy fuck," Sans muttered, and Frisk felt light-headed.

"Should you open the box..." The robes were silent for a long moment. "Tra la la."

Frisk could have killed him, or her, or it. But then:

"Should you open the box, my lady, your worst fears will be confirmed. You will regain more than you ever suspected you've lost. The pain of that sorrow and regret will be unbearable for a time, and they will not be yours alone. But...neither will the joy, or the love, or the power."

Another pause. Was that it?

"Tra la la. You will lose and gain one father, discard and gain one mother, and be richer for it. Your family will be innumerable, though you will bear only one child...who you will attempt to bring to see me at this very festival next year. I will not be here, and you will in fact never see me again, but your child's father will be unable to stop you from coming to check."

Frisk's mouth fell open as the crowd tittered behind them. "Next—"

"You will change the entire world, largely for the better, though you will have to work tirelessly to achieve your goal and maintain peace. You will not die an old woman, but you will have lived five times as much. Your triumphs will be great and your regrets...manageable." The figure sat back. "You may choose only one future. To attempt otherwise will grant you neither."

There was a deeply impressed silence. The crowd would probably have applauded if Sans hadn't slammed his hands on the table and demanded, "Who's the father gonna be?"

More silence. Then the crowd started snickering, then laughing, and then nearly rolling on the ground after the look Frisk gave him. It took Sans a moment to remember that they were posing as a couple, and that casting doubt on her potentially-soon-to-be child's parentage might not reflect well on either of them, and his expression made the people laugh even harder.

The robed figure didn't move, except to look at the coins sitting on the table, then at him. Sans had just enough presence of mind to fumble in his overcoat and randomly toss out two hundred. "There! Also, what happened to Kris? How's my brother doing? Was that lord guy telling the truth?!"

The robes rose and fell in a great sigh. "Don't kill anyone."

They waited, breathless. Sans gestured impatiently. "Yeah? And?"

"And..." The fortune-teller turned to the crowd. "Next, please."

[ceealaina]

Title: In My Dreams I Turn You On - Chapter 1 Collaborator Name: ceealaina Card Number: 3088 Link: AO3 Square Filled: K4 - Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier Ship: WinterIron Rating: Explicit Major Tags: Alternate Universe - No Powers Summary: Tony's crushing hard on his new massage therapist, but doesn't want to be a sleazy businessman. Bucky's crushing hard on his latest client, but doesn't want to take advantage of him in a vulnerable position. So they handle it like any sane adults - pretend it's not happening and refuse to discuss it. At least they both have terrible friends to help them through it. Word Count: 4259 Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three

Tony groaned as he headed into the penthouse, Pepper close behind him. He’d spent the morning tinkering over a design, which had been followed by three meetings in a row in uncomfortable chair after uncomfortable chair. His shoulder blades were tight and aching, and he arched his back, stretching it out as he collapsed onto his extremely comfortable sofa. His back cracked with a series of loud pops, and he groaned again in relief, closing his eyes and rolling his neck, wincing a little at the sick crunching sound his muscles made at the movement. 

When he looked up again, Pepper was staring at him in horror. “Tony, was that your back ?” 

“Um. No?” He offered, doing his best to look innocent. When she didn’t look any more impressed, he offered a faint smile. “It was also my neck?”

Pepper rolled her eyes at him. “JARVIS, please book Tony an appointment with the in-house massage therapist,” she requested pleasantly, before fixing Tony with a dirty look. “This is exactly why we have a therapist on call. Use it.” 

“I did!” Tony insisted. “I mean, I do! I just... got busy.” Pepper wasn’t budging, and he sighed heavily. “Fine. J -- go ahead and book that appointment. I think I can put off that phone update and clear some time tomorrow afternoon.” 

It wasn’t that Tony minded getting massages; quite the opposite actually. He was pretty good about booking his appointment every six weeks (doctor’s orders) and Louise, the staff therapist, was an absolute sweetheart with the uncanny ability to know when he wanted to lie in silence and let himself drift, and when he wanted to be regaled with stories about how she’d spent her weekend with her wife and their three dogs. He’d just been so busy that it had kind of fallen to the very bottom of his todo list. Still, the creaks his body was making were a little concerning, and it would be good to be able to relax for ninety minutes. 

By the next afternoon, Tony was actually really looking forward to the appointment. He’d had a ridiculous morning, and his neck and lower back were killing him, the beginning of a tension headache beginning to crawl up the base of his skull. 

But all those thoughts flew right out of his brain when he walked into the therapy room to be met with a pert ass in perfectly fitting soft, grey pants, bent over the office desk. 

“Um.” Tony blinked, eyes trailing up over a broad back, muscles clearly defined beneath a black, long-sleeved t-shirt. “You’re not Louise.” 

The man bent over the table jumped a little, straightening and turning to face him, and Tony felt his heart skip a beat in the face of bright blue eyes and a wide smile, and long brown hair pulled back in a mostly-professional bun. 

“Hey!” Tall, dark and sexy beamed at him, moving across the room. “You must be Mr. Stark.” 

If he squinted, Tony could hear the slightest trace of a Brooklyn accent in his voice, reminiscent of Steve when he was drunk, or got all worked up about the state of America, or both. Tony couldn’t help feeling endeared at the sound, the low voice rolling over him. “Tony, please,” he managed to get out, toes curling in his dress shoes as his hand was gripped in a warm, firm handshake. 

“Tony,” the therapist repeated dutifully. “Louise is on vacation for the next couple of weeks. My name is James. I just started today, but I’m fully trained and certified, promise.” He gave Tony a broad grin, the kind that looked like it would be accompanied by a wink, if that wouldn’t come off as unprofessional. “I’ll be your therapist for today, if that works for you?” 

“Oh yeah, that definitely works for me,” Tony assured him before wincing a little, because wow Stark, creepy much? Way to keep it classy. 

Fortunately James didn’t seem bothered, huffing out a soft laugh with a twinkle in his eyes. “Glad to hear it,” he said, and it may have been Tony’s imagination, but it seemed like the handshake lasted just a second too long before he released his grip and took a step back. “Uh, right. So we’ll just go over any problem spots you want me to work on, and then I’ll leave you to get as undressed as you’re comfortable with and we can get started.”

Tony was nodding along as James spoke, somehow managing to keep from shivering when he talked about getting undressed. “Sounds good to me.” 

“Uh, one more thing,” James added, doing an adorable little scrunch of his face before lifting his left hand and rolling it awkwardly, and-

“Holy shit!” Tony reached out to catch his wrist, stopping himself just in time. “Is that one of mine? Of course it’s one of mine,” he added before James could answer. “You wouldn’t work here and not get an SI prosthetic. That’s one of the most recent models though, right? How’s it working out for you? Any problems with neural connections? Any pain at the connection sight? How’s the response time?”

“Mr. Stark - Tony.” James interrupted him, laughing again. “We’re here for you, not me. But, uh, off the record?” He did another little twist of his wrist that Tony had a hard time pulling his eyes away from. “The arm works like a dream. Thank you. But I just wanted to let you know that the hand might give you some different sensations than you’re used to. Just let me know if anything doesn’t feel right, and I can always put a glove on if you’d prefer.” 

“Oh no,” Tony assured him quickly. “I’m sure it won’t be an issue.”

James was wholly professional, nodding as Tony told him about his problem areas and clarifying how the session would go. Then he was leaving Tony to change. Tony moved quickly, stripping down to his silky red boxer briefs, folding his clothes neatly on the table; he figured it didn’t hurt to make a good impression, just in case. He was well settled on the table by the time James knocked on the door, blanket pulled up to his shoulders to ward off any chill. 

“Yup,” he called at the sharp tap on the door. He cleared his throat quickly. “Yeah, I’m good.”

James slipped into the room with quiet movements, dimming the light and moving to gather his supplies. Tony took a few deep breaths, letting himself relax as he listened to him move around the space, the quiet, steady beat of his footsteps, 

“I’m going to get started now,” James told him, his voice softer than before. He pulled the sheet down, exposing Tony’s back, and he did his best not to shiver at the cooler air of the room. “Just let me know if anything doesn’t feel right, or if you want the heat up.”  

Tony nodded against the table. “No prob-lem.” His voice hitched on the last word as thick fingers tucked the sheet just under the waistband of his briefs, pushing them down a little in the process. His touch was completely professional, but the quick drag of his fingers over the top of Tony’s ass had a shiver of pleasure running through him in a way that Louise’s touch never did. If James noticed the catch in his voice, he kept it to himself, no hesitation in his efficient movements. 

A minute later, strong fingers were pressing into the skin of Tony’s back, touch light to start and sliding up either side of his spine. Even that little touch was heavenly, and when James’s fingers dug in at the base of his neck, Tony couldn’t help the low moan that slipped out. 

“That feel okay?” James asked, and Tony thought he could hear the slightest hint of a smile in his voice. 

“Feels amazing,” Tony slurred into the sheet. “Thas... really nice.” 

“Is the pressure okay?” James asked. “You can let me know if you need a lighter touch.” 

“No, no it’s good,” Tony mumbled. “Actually. You can go a bit harder.” 

Ridiculously, he felt his neck heat at the unintentional double entendre, and he couldn’t help feeling grateful for the dim light of the room, keeping James from seeing. A minute later strong thumbs were digging circles into his shoulder blades, the touch of his metal hand just slightly cool enough for Tony to register the difference, and he just about melted into the table. 

Tony lost time for a bit, brain floating, hovering somewhere between awake and asleep. He was vaguely aware of James in the room, his hands working steadily over his back, pulling him closer to consciousness as he worked out a few particularly tight knots before Tony would drift away again, equations floating in and out of his head, gone before he could work out what they solved. 

He wasn’t sure how much time had passed when James moved his hands down to his lower back, making a soft noise under his breath. 

“You’re really tight here,” he murmured, and Tony couldn’t help appreciating how his voice was lower and softer now, like he knew Tony wasn’t all there at the moment. “This might be tender for a moment, but it will help you in the long run. Is that alright?”

Tony hummed out something that hopefully passed for an affirmative, doing his best not to tense up as he prepared himself. James’s hands settled on his lower back, either side of his spine, just above the swell of his ass. He pushed down and up, with enough force that Tony’s entire body shifted along the table and -

Oh.

Tony’s eyes popped open, suddenly wide awake. The fact that James had enough strength to move him so easily was super hot, but Tony was having a difficult time focusing on that right now. Apparently he’d been too dreamy to notice before, but he was hard. And not the normal plumping of his cock against his thigh that occasionally happened. He was almost fully hard. James pressed in again, shifting his body on the table and inadvertently grinding Tony’s cock against the table. Tony bit down hard on his lower lip to stifle the moan that threatened to slip out as little sparks of pleasure shot up his spine. 

“Sorry,” James hummed after a moment. “You’re tensing up a little. Is that too much?” 

Tony swallowed, his throat suddenly dry. “No,” he managed, clearing his throat when it came out a little squeaky. “No, it’s fine.” He did his best to relax as James continued his ministrations, taking slow, deep breaths, eyes fluttering with each slow grind of his dick against the sheet. His hands, thankfully hidden where the sheet was pulled up to his hips, were clenching and releasing against his thighs as he tried to think about all the paperwork waiting for him and not the fact that he could feel himself getting harder, his arousal growing. 

He breathed a soft sigh of relief when James took a step back from the table, hoping it would come across as just being relaxed from the massage. This was okay; if he didn’t have James forcefully grinding him against the table (which was hotter than it should be even if Tony hadn’t already been rock hard) he could focus on something else, get his body to calm the fuck down. It was absolutely fine. 

He held onto that hope right up until James was pulling the sheet up over his back again and then moving down the table to uncover his right leg. Because right, Tony had mentioned that he had some pain in his hips and glutes. This wasn’t uncommon -- they usually worked on that area when he came in for his regular sessions. But somehow it had never felt so sexual when Louise did it. Tony was certain he made some kind of noise when James tucked the sheet in under the leg of his briefs to hold it in place with quick, professional movements, but if he heard, James thankfully didn’t comment. Then his strong fingers were digging in at the tops of Tony’s thighs and the bottom of his ass and Tony felt his eyes flutter, doing his best not to hold his breath at the touch. 

He’d always been sensitive to this part, but it had never been quite this much of a problem before. He was no longer drifting, hyper aware of the press of each of James’s individual fingers. Tony could feel the back of his neck burning with embarrassment; he was closer to fifty than not, had thought these types of spontaneous erections were well behind him. Poor James was just trying to do his damn job, and here Tony was acting like the worst kind of pervert businessman cliche. He shifted at a particular movement, and winced when he felt the damp spot against his skin, actually leaking precome into his briefs. He might as well just ask for a happy ending while he was at it. Tony was never getting a massage again. 

He managed to stay calm while James worked over his leg, and then moved to the other one, and despite everything he had to admit that his hips did feel a lot more relaxed. When James stepped back again, Tony couldn’t help hoping that the massage was finally over so he could sneak off upstairs and take a very long, hot, loud shower. 

Of course, he wasn’t that lucky. 

Once James had covered him up fully again, he moved back up to the head of the table, standing just to the side of it. Tony tried not to think about the fact that if he just turned his head, James’ cock would be right there. Tried not to imagine sucking him off while he was still propped against the table. 

“Okay,” James said. “I want to do some more work on your neck. You still seem awfully tense. I’m going to lift the sheet a little, and I’ll just get you to roll over onto your back and slide down a bit so your head is fully on the table.” 

“Um. That’s okay, actually,” Tony told the floor. “We... You don’t need to do that. Actually, we can just call it there, if you want. I’m sure you have... things to do.” 

There was a brief moment of hesitation. “Is... Was something wrong?” James asked cautiously. “I didn’t...” Tony caught the faint whirring sound of James rolling his prosthetic wrist. “I didn’t hurt you or anything, did I?” 

“No!” Tony said quickly, feeling like a complete asshole. James had just started this job, was probably worried about not making it the week when Tony just couldn’t keep it in his pants. “No,” he said again. “It’s not that at all. It was great. Wonderful, even. One of the best massages I’ve ever had. I really enjoyed it. I just, uh. I really enjoyed it.” 

“Oh!” James said, and Tony had to give him credit, he was quick on the uptake. There was a soft huff that may have been laughter, but Tony didn’t get the impression he was laughing at him. “That’s fine, Tony, honestly. It happens all the time. And I’ll be focusing on your neck, so I’m more than happy to continue the massage as long as you’re comfortable.” 

“Gonna be too comfortable,” Tony grumbled before he could stop himself, and there was definitely a snort of laughter from James that time, although he quickly cut it off, clearing his throat instead. He was waiting patiently, and Tony wasn’t sure how to explain that this wasn’t exactly a half-chub, that he was rock hard and leaking, without it turning into a sexual harassment suit. He sighed softly. He really was still tense, and some masochistic part of him didn’t want this to be over yet. “Okay,” he said.

His voice was little more than a whisper, but James must have heard anyway. He moved again, lifting the sheet by Tony’s head just enough to give him space to shift around. Tony squirmed his way lower first, suddenly hyper conscious of the way his ass must look through the thin fabric. He chewed at his lip as his cock rubbed against the table again, and then, keeping his eyes closed, he rolled over onto his back.

It was a bit of a relief, actually, and his cock thickened further, no longer compressed against the table. He didn’t have to look to know that he was tenting the sheet, and if it wasn’t for the briefs keeping him somewhat contained, he was pretty sure it would have been waving hello. Tony could feel his cheeks flushing darker. There was a moment of silence from James, and Tony didn’t dare open his eyes to see what he was thinking. 

“Okay!” he said suddenly, and there was a note in his voice that Tony couldn’t quite place. “Okay...” He lowered the sheet around Tony’s chest and then moved away from the table. Tony heard the rustle of fabric and risked cracking an eyelid open to find James gathering up the heavier weighted blanket from the corner. They’d forgone it for today, since the room was already quite warm, but he brought it over now, settling it over Tony from his toes to his waist. “Thought that might make you a little more comfortable,” he said softly, like it was a secret outside the professional aspect of their situation. Tony felt his heart lighten with relief and something else, and opened his eyes farther just in time to catch James’ gaze as he straightened back up. 

“Uh, thanks,” Tony murmured, their eyes locked in the dim light of the room. There was a heavy weight to it, like they were the only two people in the world, and then James was smiling at him and moving back behind Tony’s head and the moment was gone. 

Tony let his eyes fall shut again as James started working over his neck and upper chest, doing his best to let himself relax and somehow ignore the hardon that was currently begging his attention. He was half successful, enough that when James finally pulled back completely, he was a little startled by how much time had passed. 

“Okay,” James said, his voice a quiet rumble that sent shivers up Tony’s spine. “We’re done for today. Can I get you a glass of water, or anything?” 

“Nah,” Tony mumbled, still feeling drowsy and hazy. He blinked up at James, catching a faint smile on his face that could almost be described as fond. “Thanks,” he added. “This was... Thanks.”

James’s smile grew. “It was my pleasure,” he assured him. “It was very nice to meet you, Tony. Maybe I’ll see you again.” 

“I’d really like that,” Tony told him, before wincing because that was not a thing you say to your massage therapist. What was wrong with him today?

But James didn’t sound concerned, laughing softly. “Okay, I’m going to head out now. Take your time getting dressed, and try not to stand up too fast,” he said, and when Tony glanced over at him, there was the faintest hint of a smirk on his face. “Wouldn’t want you to get dizzy from low... blood pressure.” 

Tony blinked up at the ceiling for a long minute after the door had shut softly behind James. “Did he just...?” He couldn’t help giggling a little, some of his self consciousness fading away. He blew out a long breath, rubbing a hand absently over his thigh. “Fuck. Stark, I think you might be in trouble.” 

***

The second the door had clicked into place behind him, Bucky had to take a minute to lean against it, exhaling softly. That had been the worst session of his life -- and he had loved every second of it. 

Bucky had always had a bit of a crush on Tony Stark, okay? Bucky loved technology, and the man was an absolute genius. The ideas he came up with never failed to blow his mind. And if he’d spent more than one drunk and lonely night googling images of his butt, that was between him and his search history. So when he’d come out of his massage training, and his old friend Steve had suggested applying to SI while they were catching up over drinks and rock climbing (not in that order), he’d figured, why not? The thought had honestly never occurred to him, and it certainly had never occurred to him that they would actually hire him.  

And it had definitely never occurred to him that he would be working on Tony Stark himself. 

When he’d gotten the appointment booking, he’d nearly had a heart attack. He’d spent the whole day debating calling out sick, but he knew that wouldn’t be a good look in his first week. So Bucky had pulled himself together and told himself to be a goddamn professional. 

And then Mr. “Call Me Tony” Stark had walked in, and Bucky had nearly fallen on the floor. He was even hotter in person, all sparkling eyes and a smile Bucky would melt for. But he was also funnier than Bucky had expected, so easy to talk to and get along with, and not at all the rich asshole that he had been preparing himself for. Bucky was pretty sure he was in love. 

***

“Steeeve.” Tony flopped down in the seat opposite to his best friend, setting his sunglasses on the table. “I think I’m in love.” 

“Oh yeah?” Steve didn’t even look up from the sketch he was working on, which was just rude if you asked Tony. “And who’s the lucky person? Or is it another robot?” He did look up then, looking inordinately proud of himself, and Tony just glared back at him until Steve relented and rolled his eyes. “Alright, I’m sorry. I’m listening.” 

“Well I don’t wanna tell you now,” Tony grumbled at the table. Steve didn’t answer, just waiting him out, and it only took a minute for him to start squirming. “You’re gonna make fun of me.” 

“Bold of you to assume I’m not already,” Steve retorted, brushing an imaginary piece of lint off his shirt. 

Tony rolled his eyes -- the defining trait of their friendship. “Stop trying to talk like a teenager, asshole. You’re not that much younger than me.” 

Steve just smirked back at him before smacking his foot against Tony’s under the table. “Come on, pal. Spill. It can’t be that bad. What? Some 80-year-old scientist? An exotic dancer? A new intern? Oh god, is this like those two weeks when you were convinced that Pepper was your future wife?” He laughed as Tony looked less and less impressed. “Come on, Tony, I’m running out of business man cliches here. What, is it your massage therapist, or—“ The smile dropped off Steve’s face when he saw the way Tony’s eyes widened. “Oh, Tony no.” He looked around, suddenly realizing that they were in an open air cafe where anybody could be listening. “Seriously?” he hissed. 

“I know.” Tony dropped his head to the table, burying it in his arms with a low groan. “I know how it sounds. It’s the worst.” 

There was a beat and then Steve’s hand settled on the top of his head, fingers rubbing briefly over his scalp. Even though he was still mad at him, Tony couldn’t help smiling into his arms, leaning into the comforting touch. 

“Cheer up,” Steve told him, although he didn’t sound totally convinced of what he was saying. “It’s not so bad. Stranger things have happened. How long have you been feeling this way?” 

“Since I met him.” 

“Which was..?” 

Tony hesitated before lifting his head enough to give Steve sheepish eyes. “Yesterday?” 

Steve made a pained noise. “Jesus, Tony.” 

“I know . It’s fucking embarrassing.” 

Steve got his face on and Tony resisted the urge to kick him in the shin. “Look, I get how you could have certain… Feelings from a massage.”

Tony rolled his eyes skyward, and Steve stuck his tongue out at him in return. 

“But you can’t confuse touch with real emotions, Tony.” 

“It’s not like that!” Tony protested. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, the touch was nice. Like. really nice--,”

“ Tony .”

“But it was more than that. He just… I don’t know. He was gorgeous, but he was also sweet and funny and he made a dumb joke before he left and… I don’t know,” he said again. “People get so weird, sometimes, but he didn’t even blink when I walked into the room. We just clicked. It felt like he really saw me.” 

Steve blew out his cheeks, mouth twisting up into a sympathetic grimace. “Hey, it could work. Maybe you’ll… Lose all your money and have to fire him, so you’ll be on equal footing?” 

Tony stared at him blankly for a long moment and then groaned loudly, the sound turning to a long, drawn out whine as he draped himself face first on the table. Steve gestured to the server for more coffee and leaned forward to pat Tony on the back. 

“Cheer up, pal. It’ll be okay. Hey, I’m going axe throwing this weekend with my friend from high school. You wanna come along? Might help get your stress out.”

Tony lifted his head long enough to give Steve a baleful glance and then dropped back down with an even louder whine.

@tonystarkbingo

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 236: Mr. Stark I Don’t

Previously on BnHA: We kicked off Year Five Of This Bullshit with another Tomura flashback! Once upon a time there was a boy named Tenko. Little Tenko was very cute and happened to have a real prick of a father who forbid his kids from talking about heroes and punished them severely when they broke that rule. Like, he locked Tenko outside for hours and even fucking hit him when he found out he looked at that picture of Nana. It was super fucked up and very unpleasant to read, and on top of that Horikoshi peppered the entire chapter with hints that the supposedly quirkless Tenko was slowly developing his Decay quirk, so much of the chapter was also spent waiting for that shoe to drop. The chapter ended with a sobbing Tenko hugging his dog Mon-chan (a very good boy) and thinking that he hated everyone, as the scene slowly faded to black. After that we don’t know what happened. Presumably Mon-chan went to live on a farm with lots of other puppies where he could spend the rest of his days in cute doggy bliss. I’m sure Horikoshi will allow me to continue indulging in this theory.

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi doesn’t let me indulge in shit! Horikoshi is all “lol bitch you thought!!” Horikoshi shows us the dead dog!! Horikoshi shows us the scared and sobbing child! Horikoshi shows us the sister! Horikoshi shows us the grandma and grandpa and the mom! Meanwhile poor Kotaro is all, “I suddenly wonder where my whole family has gone,” and goes outside and sees All Of That and is horror-struck. Through a series of terrible but also hilarious coincidences he accidentally smacks Tenko with a big stick, and Tenko suddenly realizes he’d like nothing more than to just STRAIGHT UP!! MURDER HIS DAD!! and so he does. And that’s basically it, guys. That’s my summary of the chapter. I would also like to add that for some reason I ended up fucking loving it in the end, though it was a real roller coaster back and forth until those last few pages. So yeah. Might want to steer clear of me, because I’m sure that’s some kind of red flag there. This motherfucking chapter, guys. I don’t even know.

(All comments are my unspoiled reactions from my initial readthrough of the chapter. I did a quick edit for grammar and clarity immediately afterward, and added one or two ETAs in the process, but aside from that there are no changes.)

thank you anon but rest assured I’m already filled with a deep and profound dread. so we’re good

oh. heh

well that’s just. okay. sure. so a whole nother chapter of this. okay yeah that’s great

oh sweet jesus mary joseph oh shit oh fuck oh SHIT

THAT’S NOT A FARM!! HORIKOSHI!! WE HAD A DEAL! YOU SET ME UP

holy shit!?!? and this is only the start of the chapter oh god. oh god oh god. MR. STARK I DON’T

no thank you I want to return it. reason: item exactly as described. I don’t know what I was expecting. we knew exactly what was going to happen. but I still -- !!

how is the anime going to show this?? no one even wants to watch the senseless blood and violence for once. does Japan do those warning things where a “the following program includes scenes of graphic violence that may be disturbing to some viewers” screen appears before the thing airs? if not they should probably consider it. maybe change “some” to “all”, because let’s be real

anyway so guys I’m waiting for Horikoshi to email me my free shipping label so I can send this back, but in the meantime let’s continue to read I guess

WOW

THAT’S A DEAD DOG. THAT DOG IS LYING IN PIECES IN A POOL OF HIS OWN BLOOD, HUFFING HIS LAST HUFFS. HORIKOSHI REALLY DREW THAT. THAT IMAGE WAS BURNED INTO TENKO’S MIND FOR THE REST OF HIS EXISTENCE AND NOW I GET TO LIVE WITH IT AS WELL. WELL THAT’S JUST REALLY FUCKING GREAT. YIPPY SKIPPY

OH JOY

HANA GO BACK INSIDE, IF HORIKOSHI GRAPHICALLY DRAWS YOU BEING BLOWN INTO CHUNKS BY THIS FUCKING QUIRK I’M FUCKING DONE AND I QUIT. AND I KIND OF NEED TO CONTINUE UNTIL I AT LEAST LEARN BAKUGOU’S FUCKING HERO NAME, SO I’M COUNTING ON YOU HERE OKAY

by the way, this is weird though. because that didn’t look anything like the prior instances where we’ve seen Tomura use his quirk! there was no crumbling apart, no dust ominously drifting away on the breeze. it was more like poor Mon-chan just kind of fell apart into pieces. is this because the quirk is still developing and not yet at full power? or is this more AFO shenanigans in play. it at least explains why it was plausible for their hands to be intact once everything was said and done though

really I’m just trying to talk myself into believing that this didn’t actually happen and is all some grand fucked up psych out and his family is actually fine. I saw this post going around about Tenko’s mole (you know, the one on his chin) not being present in all the scenes last chapter, and the theory was that the scenes where he doesn’t have the mole were not actually real and were implanted by AFO. I personally think this is a reach, but I’m also prepared to 100% subscribe to this theory if and when anything happens to this precious baby girl when I click to the next page you guys. we shall see

okay so Hana’s apologizing because I guess she’s the one that ratted him out to their dad? girl it’s okay you were under a lot of pressure. it’s not like it’s your fault Kotaro flew off the deep end and started beating your brother

anyways but this is currently the least of your worries though oh god. she hasn’t noticed yet, and Tenko’s sobbing and trying to talk to her but his voice isn’t working??

is that because he’s traumatized, or because this is in fact a fake memory? not being able to warn a beloved person of an imminent danger is basic nightmares 101, I’m just saying. I’m actually a bit more convinced than I was just a minute ago

anyway so now she sees the dead dog, and I have a new least favorite panel in the entire series, great

hello, I hate everything about this. what the actual fuck

now she’s turning to run and I SWEAR TO GOD if Tenko instinctively reaches out to grab her... shit. I fucking...

-- WHAT DID I JUST -- !! !!!

son of a bitch. fuck. I’m literally frozen in place and having trouble willing myself to scroll down to see the rest of this. like, can we seriously just stop here. fuck!!

shit. I need a minute. holy fucking shit. I want an actual apology from Horikoshi, and an explanation for why he thought his readers apparently lacked the imagination to fill in the rest of the blanks themselves. like, I was perfectly fine with all of this just being Very Much Implied, dude. seriously

fuck me. I’m just gonna do it. power through the rest of the chapter and assess the resulting psychological damage once it’s all over and done with. okay deep breath. we’re going in

oh honey. oh baby no. oh my god the “crack crack” sound effects again, and the lines of blood appearing oh god

and of course he didn’t realize what was happening at first, didn’t realize it was him. honey it’s not your fault. but you now officially have Murder Rights to All for One, and if anyone else gets to deal the final blow I will fucking sue

hahaha, fuck

at least he didn’t go into the same level of detail as with the fucking dog. but I’m still calling the police, holy shit

if anything, Tenko’s reaction actually makes this even worse than Mon-chan’s death, though. and you know, also the fact that it was a six-year-old girl. who died terrified and in agony and not knowing why this was happening to her. fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

somewhere Ito Junji is reading this and wishing he’d come up with this shit. Nakayama Masaaki is taking notes. Stephen King is waking up in a cold sweat thinking to himself that for some reason he really wants to start reading shounen manga all of a sudden

sob now everyone is running outside except for his father. of course. saving the best for last. it’s almost as though someone fucking engineered all of this to make it as psychologically damaging to the kid as possible! but who could possibly be twisted enough to do something like that? oh hey there All for One, you sure look happy. why are you smiling so much. what do you mean, it’s a secret. you son of a bitch

hey do you guys want to see the expression of a mother seeing her youngest child screaming and sobbing and covered in blood and surrounded by the bloodied remains of a dead dog and something else that is hopefully unidentifiable because if not holy shit for real? anyways, do you? you don’t? sure you do. Horikoshi thinks you do, so here it is

t-minus five seconds before the level of Horrifying escalates yet again! five... four... three...

oh shit??

did he do that thing again?? disintegrate them without even touching?? or did we just jump-cut to right afterward? because if it’s the latter, you mean to tell me we did that with the mom and grandparents but couldn’t do it with Hana and the dog!? and if it’s the former then that’s really interesting though, because I was under the impression he’d been incapable of that until just a few chapters ago when the grown-up him awakened the ability in the middle of Deika City. maybe it’s something he can only do when under extreme mental duress

oh wait, never mind, I scrolled a bit further down and it seems like his mom is still alive. I guess that was Hana he was reaching out towards there. anyways so here’s his mom’s horrified face again

actually, wait. before we click to the next page, let me go back to the four panels right above these, because this is actually really interesting and deserves more analysis

I really like this actually. Horikoshi acknowledging that even though his mother and grandparents were very kind and loving, they were still complicit in his suffering in a way because they knew what was going on, and they let it happen. this is actually huge, and I’m really grateful to Horikoshi for calling attention to it and pointing out how damaging that was. I’m actually very pleasantly surprised to see it acknowledged

but maybe I shouldn’t be, because this is after all something that’s very important to the story’s themes of heroism. my thoughts immediately ran to Horikoshi’s own favorite hero, Spider-Man, and the whole “with great power comes great responsibility” thing. if someone needs help, and you’re in a position where you could do something but you choose to not take action, then you do bear some responsibility for what follows. “when you can do the things that I can, but you don’t, and then the bad things happen, they happen because of you”

just, this is a theme that has always resonated with me, and one of the most important themes of hero stories in general. and obviously I’m not saying Tenko’s mom and grandparents are in any way bad people, or that what happened is their fault, because it’s not! but all the same they could have done something and they didn’t, and if you were to ask me what I think is the most essential, defining aspect of what makes someone a hero, I would say it’s that. the difference between stepping in, and not stepping in. if you were to boil it down to one single point, that would be it. a hero is someone who helps

anyway. so I really like that. maybe I won’t send this chapter back after all

OR MAYBE I WILL AND NEVER FUCKING MIND!! I DON’T!! FEEL SO GOOD!! MR. STARK!!

holy shit you guys. I have no words. somewhere the person who wrote Mufasa’s death scene is taking notes. the person who wrote Littlefoot’s mom’s death is shook. the person who wrote Bambi’s mom’s death is rubbing their chin and thinking, “honestly mine is still more traumatizing, but I can still respect that”

meanwhile I, a millennial forged in the ashes of all of those childhood-defining fictional tragedies, am going to just suck it up and move on because fuck. my whole life has been preparing me for this day

oh my fucking god

fuck me why did I laugh. I fucking lost it just now. fucking gallows humor, idk

just. his entire family is being blown to little bits in the backyard, and Kotaro cracks open his fucking door and peers his head out like “hmm I thought I heard something just now. hey, where is everyone. did I miss something.” no you didn’t miss anything Kotaro, go back inside

he looks like a kid who’s not sure if he just heard the ice cream man driving by

sob. “better go investigate”

look what happened while you were taking your fucking nap, Kotaro. JUST LOOK! your son disintegrated your whole entire family and uprooted a fucking tree somehow. jesus christ

you know, the irony is I bet you that despite all of his hang-ups, he’s probably thinking “okay maybe a hero would come in fucking handy right about now”

oh shit

“you think this is a fucking joke?!” Horikoshi screams, shoving this page in my face. “you’re just going to sit there and keep making your cute little remarks?? A FAMILY IS DEAD!!” okay jeez I get it fuck

oh no, oh shit for real though I can’t

he’s so scared and traumatized and now he knows, he knows it was him who did it and he can’t bear it, and even though he hates his dad, he’s still his dad, and he’s terrified and looking for comfort from anyone at this point oh god

and for Kotaro to see his son like this, and the rest of his family dead in such a horrifying way! just!!

and fuck me, because if he reaches out to try and comfort him, if he ends up dying because his better instincts finally take over now of all fucking times; if he tries to help and Tenko knows what’s going to happen when they touch and tries to stop him but can’t...

okay but what

Tenko’s quirk is really behaving strangely though. like this is ridiculous. at this rate he’s gonna take the whole house down with him

also there’s no way all of the neighbors just sat by all la dee da and didn’t go to investigate afterwards. 100% AFO had a hand in all this. shit

now also feels like a good time to point out, before we wrap this all up, that with Kotaro being the only one still alive now, there is no one around to shout “Tenko, no...!” when that hand is reaching out to his forehead. so I’m very curious to see how Horikoshi plays this out, because now more than ever I’m suspecting that the altered memory theory is really true

(ETA: well. shit.)

anyway, so now what looks like a tree pruner is just randomly falling into Kotaro’s hands, for some reason. just like we all expected

of all the ways I imagined this actually playing out, this was not one of them

hmm, interesting

so did he disintegrate the pruner and then get pissed at his dad thinking he was trying to hurt him again? and then instinct just took over? guess we’re about to see

oh SHIT!!!

shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit

just, imagine like another 7 paragraphs of me just typing out “shit” over and over again. I don’t feel like actually doing it, but that’s basically an accurate summation of my thought process right now

I bet even AFO wasn’t expecting that. I picture him whistling softly from his hiding place nearby, watching all of this go down and making that excited Andy Dwyer face to nobody in particular

holy fucking shit, holy hell

guys I just decided this is actually my favorite villain origin story of all time. just like that. holy shit. this page though

okay you know what, let me just finish this up, and then I’ll try to sort out all of my messed up feelings. one more page to go I think. probably his hair turning white

why didn’t his hair turn white. Horikoshi you’re such a fucking troll

(ETA: or did it start to change though?? it’s really hard to tell with the shading on this page tbh. but it does seem to be lighter than his shirt, and closer to the shade of his pants instead. but I can’t tell if that’s just due to the lighting here or not. anyways.)

anyways, wow. so that’s the end. let me just sit down here for a moment and try to process this

that page, though. that mental break. the idea of him being so overwhelmed by the pain and trauma of what just happened that when his dad shows up and tries (from his perspective) to hurt him again, his mind just goes !! and snaps and goes “you know what, this is better, let’s just reframe all this shit to make it a good thing so that we can cope, because to hell with that. big fat nope to the alternative, right there! yeah no thanks we are not going to do that”

and him realizing that he finally has the power to stand up to his father and stop him from hurting him. and probably a part of him is also irrationally blaming his dad for being the reason this all happened, because it’s much easier to assign blame to something tangible here, rather than it all being a freak tragic accident that no one could have prevented. (or worse, his own fault. which it isn’t, but I’m sure he subconsciously blames himself regardless, so)

and even better if the person to blame is someone you already hated. so yes, that’s much better, let’s just do that

and that whole “somewhere deep in my heart” thing, I don’t buy that for a second to be honest. but I do believe that he believes that. that for his own self-preservation he desperately latched on to this idea and convinced himself that he’d wanted this all along. that it felt good. fine, then, I’ll become a monster to save myself

I keep going back to look at his face, though. and just. holy shit. if you’d told me a week ago or even five minutes ago that Horikoshi would write out the entire thing, all of it, in all of its sickeningly detailed glory, that he would just say “fuck it” and go all out, and that I would go from “take it back” to “okay I’ll allow it” to “you can pry this incredibly fucked up chapter out of my cold dead hands” in the span of three pages, I would have thought you were insane. and yet here we are. and it is insane. and I’m fairly disturbed by my own heel-turn here actually, but I can’t deny it though

just, shit. that was so good. I’m blown away by how good that was. Deku, stop looking at me like that

you know what, you don’t get to judge me, kid, okay. shut up

anyway guys, so that was one hell of a ride. I learned some things about myself, like that I will follow this maniac of a mangaka into much deeper and more fucked up chasms than I ever expected. and Tomura learned some things about himself, and I have a lot of Concerns about those things, but I guess that’ll just have to wait until next week! all the best until then, everyone

[letswritebangtan]

Jeon Jungkook x Reader

Genre: fluff

Warnings: cursing and slightttt nsfw

University AU, Student!Jungkook x Student!reader

Word count: 5322

______________________________________________________________

(oh fuk this gif is hot but it’s not mine!)

Migrating to a place where you’ve never stepped foot in was a big deal, and you just realised it. You remember packing your bags like it was yesterday....well it was yesterday but you know, it all happened so fast. You were moving into a new place to attend university, and at first the thought did appeal to you, however, after actually being in the moment, this shit was terrifying. 

It was a new place, new people, a new experience. Maybe not knowing anyone could be a good thing. Starting afresh is something millions of people dream of. So you decided maybe you could use this opportunity for the better. You were introduced to your apartment just about an hour ago. It wasn’t luxurious or anything, but it looked great to you. You were just lucky to have a roof over your head, a water heating system, and wifi. Oh, can’t forget the fridge too. How else were you going to eat ice cream out of the tub?

After settling down, you decided to take a break from shuffling through boxes filled with your stuff, and perhaps take a walk outside and get familiar with the place. You grabbed your jacket and shoved your phone into your pocket as you unlocked the door and stepped outside. A gush of wind hit you smack in the face and you shivered, picking up your pace towards the university.

The campus was humongous, and it’ll probably take you more than a year to locate every nook and corner. However, as big as the area was, it was so serene. You felt at peace, and you felt happy. Another strong gush of wind decided to say hello, so you gave up and entered a nearby cafe to get a warm drink. You scanned the menu closely, ignoring everything that had coffee in it. (i’m sorry if you love coffee, just pretend that you were in the mood for chocolate. it ain’t that bad)

Your eyes fixated on the menu as you stepped cautiously towards the counter. 

“Um, I’ll have a classic hot chocolate,” you said politely.

“Would you like some marshmallows to go with it?” the cashier asked with a monotonous voice. She must be studying near here too. 

“Oh, yes please! That’ll be nice,” you said. 

She snorted, “Of course. We sell weight loss pills too, looks like you could use some.”

Your eyes shot up as you frowned, “Excuse me?”

“Forget it. Is that all?” she asked rudely.

You wanted to smack her, but you kept calm. Violence is never the answer, Y/N. 

“Yeah,” you muttered. 

“Four dollars and ninety cents,” she grunted. 

You shuffled through the pockets in your purse and you couldn’t seem to find the right change. Darn new currencies. 

“Um,” you bit your lip, “Just one second.”

The girl rolled her eyes and tapped her fingers on the counter impatiently. 

“Why don’t you just go back to your country, bitch? Stop invading our space, it’s so annoying.”

And that did it. 

“What the hell is your problem? Why are you being such a stuck up little bitch? I just came here to have a god damn drink. And if you’re so annoyed by me, why don’t you quit your job, maybe leave the country? You’ll never have to see me again, because as far as I know, I’m allowed to go wherever the hell I want to. And if your petty little ass can’t handle it, too bad,” you snapped. 

The girl looked taken aback, but you wasted no time in staring at her overly made up face any longer, so you proceeded to leave. The almighty one above had other plans for you, though. It started pouring heavily outside and there was no way you could get back to your apartment without getting soaked. In this cold weather, you’ll probably fall sick the next day too. So you huffed, and quietly made your way to a table in the corner. 

You leaned back into your seat and sighed, looking outside. You thought the people here were nice. That’s what you heard at least. You knew that not everyone were angels but, you never expected your first encounter with a local to go that bad. In the middle of your daydreaming, someone had placed a cup gently onto your table and you were startled slightly. You looked up at that person  and god damn was he a sight. 

His hair was a warm black, it looked so soft and smooth. His doe eyes were black, and staring at you softly. His lips, you’d never seen a guy with lips so soft and pink. You'd give anything to kiss those li-um what?

“Hey, uh, may I sit?” he asked politely, making you stop staring intently at his face. 

God even his voice was attractive. 

“O-oh, yes, sure,” you stuttered as you sat up. 

He took a seat in front of you and put his things down. He gently pushed the cup towards you. 

“That’s yours,” he said.

You frowned in confusion, “I-I’m sorry but I didn’t actually order anything?”

He chuckled and smiled softly, “I know, I ordered it for you.”

Holy shit his smile. His god damn beautiful smile. 

You just gaped slightly, still not understanding the situation. Your confused expression made Jungkook think that you were insanely cute, and he couldn’t stop smiling. 

“That girl wasn’t the nicest, huh?” he asked, taking a sip out of his own drink.

Realisation hit you that this extremely attractive guy just witnessed your little incident earlier, making you feel embarrassed. 

You sighed, “You saw that? God, I’m so sorry. I’m not actually-I mean I don’t usually snap at people like that. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“She deserved it. She had no right to speak to you like that. I mean, if you didn’t say anything to her, I would’ve. But you took care of it pretty nicely,” he complimented.

You smiled shyly, “Thanks. But I really shouldn’t have cursed so much in public like that. I just got here, and I was planning on making a good impression, but as you can see, it didn’t really work out.”

“So you’re a freshman, no wonder I’ve never seen you around,” he said surprised. 

“Yeah I’m a....Oh man, I’m really sorry, where are my manners? I’m y/n l/n, it’s really nice to meet you. And thanks a lot for the drink, I really appreciate it,” you said extending your hand. 

Jungkook grinned as he shook your hand lightly, “I’m Jeon Jungkook, your senior by just a year. It’s nice to meet you too, l/n.”

You smiled and took a sip out of your drink, “So what are you currently studying?”

“I’m doing music and performing arts,” he said as he licked foam off of his lips.

hot damn.

“Whoa, that’s interesting. Is it fun? It’s gotta be, right? You get to sing and dance and just, the idea of it, it’s so cool!” you gushed. 

He chuckled at your enthusiasm. God you really were cute. 

“It’s great, I enjoy it. It’s my passion so, it shouldn’t be that hard to like.”

“Do you like, dance and stuff?” you ask.

“I dance all the time,” he agreed.

“Oh my god, I love dancing. I mean, I love watching people dance. I couldn’t dance to save my life,” you joked. 

“I can teach you,” he offered. “I’m sure you’re not that bad.”

“Oh trust me, Jungkook, I'm horrible. I attended dance lessons when I was nine, and I got kicked out because I crashed into every mirror in the dance studio,” you admitted.

Jungkook burst out laughing and you smiled. “Hey, it’s not funny!” you protested.

“Yes it is! I’m imagining little you just prancing about and all of a sudden a crash here, then a few seconds later a crash there, oh god,” Jungkook continued to snort. 

You rolled your eyes playfully. “Very funny, Jungkook.”

He sighed in content and tilted his head slightly as he stared at you. You flushed slightly because he looked so hot doing that, just how?

“What are you staring at?” you asked. 

He smiled his cute little bunny smile and shook his head. “When do your classes start?” he asked.

“Tomorrow,” you answered.

“Great! Do you maybe want to meet again? I could show you around and stuff, i-if you’d like, that is,” he asked nervously.

You hummed and pursed your lips. “I don’t know, do I want to hang out with the guy who couldn’t stop laughing at nine year old me for getting kicked out of dance class?”

Jungkook smirked, “Maybe if you spent more time with him, then you’d find out about something that happened in his childhood that you could laugh about? That makes it even, right?”

You giggled and nodded, “Yeah, I’m down for that.”

So that was how it started. Every morning, you and Jungkook would meet for breakfast at the same cafe. Then he would walk you to your class and afterwards leave for his. Your schedules were surprisingly compatible, and your breaks were very similar to his. On Mondays, the two of you shared four-hour long breaks, so you guys would go have a nice lunch, then some days you’d explore the park, and some days you guys went bowling at the mall. And Jungkook loved bowling with you because, one, he could practically back-hug you from behind and help you create the right stance to score a strike. Two, when you did score a strike, you always jumped up and down and hugged him tight right after. It melts his heart to see you so enthusiastic and having fun. And three, he could impress you with his bowling skills.

Jungkook also introduced you to his friends Jimin and Taehyung. They were also insanely hot, you had no idea where all these hot korean guys kept coming from, and they were really sweet and fun to hang with. You yourself made some friends in a few of your classes. Hoseok, the shining sun, you still remember the first day the two of you met, his smile was the first thing you noticed about him. He was so sweet, he kept offering you apples that he brought, or bananas, or grapes, this guy just had an assortment of fruits every class and he always shared them with you. 

Then you met Jin in your science class, and he was clearly having trouble understanding lessons, so you offered to help him and he has been grateful to you ever since. He says he should repay you by telling you some of his dad jokes but no matter how much you decline, he tells them to you anyway. Jin introduced you to two more seniors, Yoongi and Namjoon. Namjoon was like your big brother, he was the supportive kind, and you always brought a pack of salted cashews for him because he saw you eating them once and he asked if he could have one and of course you offered, but then he just ended up eating the whole thing. Yoongi was so chill, you aspired to be like him. You always questioned him of his ways and all he would do is pat your shoulder and say “give no fucks, kid.” How you loved all your new friends. 

The weekend was around the corner and Taehyung, the party animal, decided to host an event. Guess what event that was? Frat party, yippee! You had never gone to a party in your life, well, certainly not the kind with a bunch of 18 year old’s, alcohol and god knows what else. You weren’t keen on going either, because Taehyung’s invitation said to bring a plus one. So, Namjoon was going with Yoongi, Jin was going with Hoseok damn you shouldn’t have introduced them to each other now they’re best friends.

You heard that Jimin had a date, which wasn’t a surprise because you found yourself being attracted to his handsome face and his charms at one point. And of course you couldn’t ask Taehyung because he was the host. The only person you knew well enough to attend a party with was Jungkook, but, you were too shy to ask him. You kinda liked him-okay, maybe you were swooning a little too heavily, but you didn’t want to embarrass yourself by becoming a stuttering and blushing mess in front of him. 

 “y/nnn, have you decided what you’re going to wear yet?” Jin asked, interrupting your thoughts. 

You shook your head, “I don’t think I’m going.”

“What?!” he exclaimed. “But why?” he asked as he slung his arm around you.

“I don’t have a plus one, plus it’ll be awkward if I go alone,” you shrugged.

“Are you kidding me, y/n? All of us paired up with each other specifically so that Jungkook would go with you.”

“Wait what?” you snapped. 

“Oops, the cat’s out of the bag. Seriously, y/n, we all know the two of you are head over heels for each other so use this party as an opportunity to make out in the kitchen without anyone caring.”

Your eyes widened in shock and you smacked his arm, “We are not making out in the kitchen!”

He rolled his eyes, “Do whatever you guys want, just do it together.”

“No, Jin, he doesn’t like me that way. I’ll just be embarrassing myself if I asked him to go with me. What if he doesn’t want to go with me? What if he already has a date?”

Jin groaned, “Nonsense, y/n, you’re just making up one of your lame excuses again. Also, you must be extremely blind not to see how much Jungkook’s into you.”

You shook your head, “Don’t give me false hope, Seokjin. I mean it.”

He sighed, “Whatever, I’ll just have to ask Taehyung to pressure him into making a move.”

“Don’t!” you gasped. 

He laughed as you tried to smack the living hell out of your friend, but you’re weak so, it didn’t hurt lmao. Right as you were in the middle of beating Jin, you heard your favourite voice call out. 

“Hey guys, what are you up to?” Jungkook asked as he walked closer to the two of you.

You stopped hitting Jin and straightened out before facing Jungkook. 

“Hey, kook. Nothing, Jin was just being a dumbass,” you said laughing awkwardly.

Jungkook raised an eyebrow, “Well, when is he not?”

“Yah!” Jin exclaimed. “You better behave yourself, otherwise I won’t let you date y/n-ouch!” he yelped as you pinched his arm. 

“Cut it out!” you whispered harshly as your cheeks flushed pink.

“H-he’s just messing around,” you stuttered as you told Jungkook.

Jungkook’s cheeks were starting to turn pink too, but he chuckled to hide his embarrassment. 

“So, y/n, I’ve been meaning to ask you, um, would you-”

“Want to go for dinner? Sure! I’ll meet you at my apartment at 7. Jin and I have to go now. Bye kook!” you gushed as you dragged Jin with you.

You were so embarrassed, you swore if you talked to Jungkook any longer you’d just make even more of a fool out of yourself. 

“y/n! What the hell? He was just about to ask you to the party you idiot,” Jin grumbled. 

“No he wasn’t! He wanted to have dinner. Also, if you pull off something like that ever again, you’ll never be able to have mini seokjins, got that?” you scolded.

“God, y/n, you are so dense sometimes.”

“Mini seokjins,” you threatened. 

“Okay, okay,” Jin said backing off. 

Jin walked you home and you asked him to stay for dinner but he was like nah, gotta run and do some “errands”, but all he was planning to do was buy some spicy ramen and eat dinner with Hoseok. He just wanted you and Jungkook to be alone in your apartment where the two of you could finally hit it off. Hopefully. You went to take a quick shower and then got dressed in your comfortable ducky pj’s. You heard the doorbell as you were tidying up the living room, and you hopped over to open the door. 

“I only got six dumplings because the lady at the counter was really creepy so I didn’t have the courage to wait for them to make twelve. But I bought some spring rolls from the convenience store to make up for it?” Jungkook asked hopefully, knowing how upset you get when you aren’t properly fed. 

“I fuckin love spring rolls, just get in here,” you said excitedly. 

Jungkook placed all the food on the table and the two of you started feasting on the sofa. 

“The lady was creepy, huh? What did she do?” you asked.

Jungkook finished slurping up his mouthful of noodles and shrugged. “She was eyeing me weirdly.”

“How old was she?” you asked. 

“A few years older than me, I guess.”

“She was totally checking you out.”

Jungkook almost choked on his noodles and you had to pat him on the back. 

“I was joking,” you laughed.

Jungkook finally swallowed and huffed, “Yeah, thanks for almost killing me in the process.”

“I would never kill you, otherwise no one would buy me dinner like you always do,” you pouted. 

“I see, so you’re just using me to get free dinner. So that’s how it is, huh?” Jungkook said pretending to feel hurt. 

You laughed, “No, I-pfft hahahaha, no I would never!”

“Sure, sure,” Jungkook said sarcastically. He loved hearing your laugh, it was beautiful. 

The two of you talked about random stuff that happened throughout the day, and laughed at the stupid little faces Jungkook would make. It just made you fall in love with him even more. It hurt your heart that you could most probably never date someone like him, he was too perfect. He was so funny, and caring, goofy, good looking, and he was just absolute perfection. 

“Hey, y/n, I’ve been meaning to ask you something,” he said, not looking at you but looking into his almost empty bowl of noodles.

“Hit me,” you said.

“So, you know about Taehyung’s party this weekend, right?”

You nod, “Literally everyone’s talking about it, I don’t know why it’s such a big deal, people just love parties I guess. But whatever, I’m not going anyway.”

Jungkook froze as he looked at you, “What?”

You looked up at him, “Hm? I said I’m not going.”

“O-oh,” he said defeated. “Why not?”

“Well, I don’t really have anyone to go with, and I’m definitely not gonna go by myself, so. I was supposed to go with Hoseok but he ditched me for Jin, oh well. I can’t blame him, those two are sorta inseparable.”

Jungkook sighed in relief, now knowing that he still had a chance. But he was a nervous wreck at the moment. 

“Soo, no one asked you?” he questioned.

Actually, you did get asked to the party. queue Mingyu.

“Um, one person asked me,” you admitted. 

Jungkook tensed again, and he could feel the jealousy bubbling inside of him. 

“Oh,” he said as he poked his tongue against the inside of his cheek. 

You nodded, “I never thought anyone would though.”

“Who asked you?” Jungkook asked suddenly. He just couldn’t help himself. 

“Oh, uh, that guy from your class, his name was Mingyu, I think? He’s sweet and extremely tall like, whoa, what a man. He’s good looking too, but I-”

“So you like him?” Jungkook asked, annoyance in his tone.

“What? No. I mean, he’s nice and all but he’s not really my type.”

You thought you heard Jungkook sigh in relief. 

“So I take it you said no to him?” he asked just to make sure.

You giggled, “Yes, I told him no very politely. We exchanged numbers though, he said he’d love to hang out.”

“Don’t,” Jungkook snapped. 

You looked at him slightly startled. “Don’t what?”

“I-I mean don’t hang out with him. H-he’s not very good. He has a bad reputation of always sleeping around with girls and stuff. I don’t want you getting hurt, y/n,” Jungkook lied. 

“Oh?” you said shocked. “But I’m not gonna date him or anything, I’m just trying to be his frie-”

“Nope, I don’t allow it. Please, y/n? He’s dangerous.”

You never took Mingyu to be the dangerous type but, you knew Jungkook was telling you all of this for a reason. 

“Alright, alright, I won’t hang out with him.”

“You swear?” he asked holding your hand in his. 

“I swear, Jungkook. Now what’s up with you? You’re acting weird.”

Jungkook bit his lip and chuckled awkwardly, “Oh, nothing, I’m fine.”

You frowned, “No, there’s something on your mind. Spill.”

He sighed and put down his bowl and turned to face you. Then he took your bowl out of your hands, causing you to protest a little but then he gave you a look and you stopped fighting him instantly. 

“Okay, y/n, I wanted to ask you if-”

“If you could use my shampoo, right? I know, I’ve noticed you eyeing it recent-”

“y/n!” he huffed. 

You shut up and pouted slightly, “Sorry.”

He sighed, “It’s okay, just....let me finish alright? God, you’re making this so hard.”

“I’m making what hard?” you asked.

He smirked, “That’s what she-”

You smacked him before he could finish. “Is that what you wanted to tell me?” you asked. 

“No! No, no no. Okay, listen, jesus christ, okay, y/n....” he trailed off. 

You raised your eyebrow, expecting him to continue. 

“Would you like to be my plus one to the party?” he asked, digging his teeth into his bottom lip.

Your eyes widened slightly but then your gaze softened. 

“You really wanna go with me?” you asked. 

“Why are you asking me that?” he said confused. 

“N-No I just, I never thought anyone would want to go to a party with me, when there’s so many other perfect girls out there-”

“y/n,” Jungkook stopped you. “I’m sure there’s a long line of guys wanting to go with you, just that the only two guys who had the balls to ask you was me and that worthless piece of junk.”

“You mean Mingyu?” you asked amused. 

“Yeah, whatever. He doesn’t matter. I’m just so relieved you said no to him, y/n, because I really really really, wanted to go with you,” he sighed. 

You smiled and then pulled Jungkook into a hug, “Of course I’ll go with you, stupid. I’d love to.”

Jungkook grinned and hugged you back.

“So it’s a date then,” he said pulling away. 

You blushed intensely, “A-a-a date?”

“Do you want it to be a date?” he asked carefully. 

You paused, and purposefully didn’t answer him to make him feel nervous.

“y-y/n? God, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to move so fast, I-”

You burst out laughing and Jungkook frowned. “Stop laughing at me,” Jungkook whined. 

“I’m joking, you fool. I’d love for it to be a date. I’ve liked you for so long, why wouldn’t I want to-oh shit,” you cursed. You just told Jungkook that you liked him. You hated your stupid mouth for gushing so much. 

You saw the smirk creep up onto Jungkook’s face and you looked away blushing. Slowly you felt a hand cupping your cheek and your face was pulled towards his, and then his lips met yours. Jungkook kissed you feverishly as you wrapped your legs around his waist, and your arms around his neck. The bowls of ramen were forgotten as things started to get pretty steamy.

Pulling away from the kiss, Jungkook went straight to your neck, leaving kisses here and there, making you sigh in content. Slowly, he started to suck at a few spots, making you whimper. 

“Jungkook....I’ll have a hard time trying to cover those,” you groaned. 

“Don’t cover them, baby. I marked you for a reason.”

Well that was hot. 

The two of you spent the night together, kissing and cuddling, maybe even screwing ahem. You felt like you were in a daze, you felt so extremely happy to be with the boy you loved so much. 

The weekend came and Jungkook and you were hanging at the party. You wore some really tight jeans that showed off your booty and therefore Jungkook wouldn’t stop grabbing it whenever he could. You’d give him a glare but he’d just wink at you cheekily. How you swooned....

Jungkook had a fun time showing you off to everyone as his girlfriend. Oh, and he also kissed you like a hundred times in front of everyone just to show them you were his. All your friends, and by friends I mean the whole handsome korean boys gang were so happy to see you guys together. Jin was like fucking finally, and Hoseok couldn’t stop congratulating you. Taehyung was not at all sober, so he just slung his arms around you and Jungkook and proceeded to give a speech that made absolutely no sense. But you laughed and thanked him for his “kind words” anyway. Jimin cheered you on and may or may not have winked at you, making Jungkook almost kill him with his stare. Namjoon was lecturing you about how you and Jungkook shouldn’t have done “it” on the couch because it’s not good for your back and you wanted to shoot yourself because you were so embarrassed and you kept asking how the fuck did he even know but he never told you. However, Yoongi was happy for you because, I quote: “you got the d.” Classic Yoongi. 

You guys were having a real fun time at the party. You stood up from Jungkook’s lap to get a drink but he held your hand and pouted. 

“Where are you going?” he whined. 

He was such a big baby and you loved him. 

“I want some lemonade, kook. It won’t even take five minutes,” you giggled as you stood between his legs. 

Jungkook was slightly drunk, making him clingier than usual but you didn’t really mind. 

“You’ll be back, right?” he asked looking up at you with his doe eyes. 

“Yes, of course.”

It took a little more convincing for Jungkook to let you go, but he did eventually. You went to the kitchen and opened the fridge to get the bottle of lemonade. You saw the glass on the top shelf and you tried reaching it but obviously you were too short (welcome to the dwarf gang :’)  )  so you were struggling a little a lot  but then a hand mysteriously appeared and plucked the glass from the shelf and you turned around quickly.

“Here,” Mingyu said smiling as he gave the glass to you.

“Oh, thank you,” you laughed slightly. “I don’t get why they have to put the cabinets up so high,” you complained. 

Mingyu shrugged, “I’ll be your personal helper if you need anything from the top shelves,” he joked.

The two of you laughed and you set the glass on the counter top.

“I was just getting lemonade, do you want some?” you asked.

Mingyu shook his head, “It’s alright, I’m not really a fan.”

“You’re not a fan of lemonade? What’s wrong with you?” you asked sounding offended. 

“It’s sour,” he defended.

“You’re sour.”

Mingyu laughed a lot at your silly comeback. “You know, you’re quite cute, y/n,” he said smiling.

“Thanks, I-” shit, didn’t Jungkook tell you that Mingyu was bad news? Time to leaveee.

“It was great talking to you, I’ll just head back to my friends now,” you excused yourself. 

“Wait, y/n! I just wanted to ask if you’re free for coffee tomorrow? We could go to the one opposite campus,” he asked nicely.

How could someone look so innocent yet be so evil? You were starting to think that Jungkook was wrong. 

“Um, I guess I could-”

“What’s going on baby?” you heard a low voice ask and suddenly an arm was wrapped around your waist tightly, pulling you to your boyfriend’s hard chest.

“J-Jungkook, I was just-”

“Jungkook, hey man. I didn’t know you knew, y/n,” Mingyu said politely. 

Jungkook looked pissed, which made him look extremely hot.

“I more than just know y/n, I’m dating her,” Jungkook growled. 

“Oh, wow, that’s great! Uh, excuse me, I’ll be heading back to the living room now,” Mingyu said before leaving the kitchen. 

“What the hell were you doing with him?” Jungkook asked as he tucked a stray strand of your hair behind your ear. 

“Jungkook, he isn’t a playboy, is he? You just said all those things because you were jealous and didn’t want me near him,” you asked. 

Jungkook’s eyes widened briefly, “No, I wasn’t lying, it’s true.”

You raised an eyebrow, “Kook, you know I love you right? There’s no one that can take me away from you.”

He sighed and then leaned his forehead against yours. “Okay, maybe I bent the truth a little....”

“Sure,” you giggled and wrapped your arms around his neck.

“You took too long, baby. You said it would be five minutes,” he sighed as he leaned forward to press his lips against yours. 

“Yeah, but I was talking to Mingyu,” you mumbled against his lips.

He grunted and pulled away, “Looks like I didn’t mark you enough that night, baby.”

“What?” your eyed widened, “Kook, don’t-”

You felt yourself being lifted and soon your body was bent across Jungkook’s shoulder and he was carrying you upstairs. 

“Are we seriously going to have sex in Taehyung’s bedroom?” you asked.

“I don’t see why not, sweetheart.”

______time skip because i am incapable of writing nsfw sorry my dudes______

So you had an amazing night with your boyfriend but certain “activities” had gotten the two of you exhausted. You woke up in the morning wearing Jungkook’s shirt which was super comfortable and smelled like him. You had no pants on though, so you tried to get out of bed to put your jeans on but you felt a hand pull you back and heard a groan escaping your boyfriend’s lips.

“Where are you going?” he asked, his raspy morning voice evident. 

“I need to put some pants on,” you said sleepily. 

“It’s okay, I like you better without pants, just come back here,” he whined.

You giggled, “If Taehyung finds us, we’re dead.”

You crawled back into bed, snuggling close to his bare chest.

“He won’t, he’s probably wasted,” Jungkook mumbled as he pressed a kiss to the top of your head. 

The two of you stayed like that for a long time, until the door burst open. Jungkook and you sat up in shock, the comforter covering your lower half though so don’t worry. 

“Ew, I told you they’d do it here,” Hoseok cringed. 

“WHAT? YOU GUYS DID IT IN MY BED?” you heard Taehyung yell as he ran up the stairs. 

“Tae, you’re okay! No hangover?” Jungkook asked sheepishly. 

“You! I’m going to kill you!” Taehyung shouted. 

“At least they used protection, Tae. See there’s two condom wrappers,” Jimin said. 

“You guys did it twice?” Jin asked horrified. 

You were so embarrassed you were literally the colour of a tomato. 

“Could you guys maybe, I don’t know, LEAVE?!” you shouted. 

“Yeah, leave them alone so they can get cleaned up,” Namjoon said as he ushered everyone out.

“Bleach my sheets or I’ll bleach you,” Taehyung ordered Jungkook before he turned to you. 

“y/n, darling, I love you and all, but, could you maybe not do it on the bed next time? The bed where I like, you know, sleep? Thanks,” Taehyung asked nicely.

You giggled, “Alright, Tae. Sorry for the mess, we’ll clean it up.”

“Thank you. See Jungkook? She’s so lovely, unlike you, you piece of shit,” Taehyung grumbled.

“Hyung,” Jungkook whined. 

You giggled and kissed him on the cheek, “Hey, don’t be upset, we can do it all we want in my apartment or yours.”

Jungkook smirked at you, “Are you suggesting that we-”

“NAMJOON HYUNG THEY’RE BEING GROSS!” Taehyung yelled.

the end

[sepublic]

Isaac’s Coming-of-Age Moment

           I find Isaac’s talk with the Captain in Season 3 weirdly… sweet, in a sense?

           Like… I kind of get this vibe from Isaac during their conversation that he’s basically some hot-headed, emotional youth, who is confused in a lot of ways, basically a teenager, and he just really needs some actual guidance, a positive adult/parental figure in his life that he can actually count on! Which, I don’t want to infantilize Isaac, but then again he does refer to himself and Hector as children who need to grow up in Season 4, so maybe I’m not too far off.

           I dunno, I just get the feel that as someone who’s been alone for a LONG while, without any real positive interactions with people or older figures… Isaac’s just in a kind of generally moody, angsty sort of headspace akin to an angsty teenager, obviously unreasonable in some regards, but not truly, his feelings are valid and you can tell that by the end of the day, he just wants to be left alone and in peace.

           So it feels really sweet to have Isaac actually like- Talk to an older figure who for once is acting as a mentor, passing on some real wisdom and guidance. The Captain can tell that Isaac needs someone to help him through what is a VERY confusing part of his life, a part that will decide a lot for him –again, like a teenager- and he’s very patiently and considerately advising Isaac; But at the same time, he’s not condescendingly lecturing him either. The Captain shows Isaac a lot of respect and consideration, and is both talking to him as an equal, but also as a mentor if that makes sense.

           And to me, that’s just really nice and heartwarming to watch, because with Dracula also in mind, I’m lowkey getting the impression of Isaac as this like; Jaded youth who secretly yearns for approval by someone for once, we can kind of see this from his abuser in the flashback. 

          Isaac hasn’t quite completely gotten over this, but with the Captain, Isaac can finally get that validation and support that he really needs and craves from an older figure, in a way that isn’t toxic and unhealthy. And I love Dracula and I will always applaud his decision to save Isaac’s life at the end of Season 2, how THAT led to Isaac learning to live for himself, I will forever love that moment even more from now on;

           But I think Dracula and I can both agree that he’s not, like. The healthiest role model nor person for Isaac to look up to, nor dedicate himself towards. Really, nobody is the healthiest person for Isaac to dedicate himself towards, he needs to live for himself after all! So it really was for the best that Isaac had himself cut off from that sort of toxic dependency; Dracula is an ENORMOUS step-up from Isaac’s abuser, sure, but he still represented Isaac’s refusal to really value himself, only just in relation to others.

           Anyhow, I really appreciate that talk where Isaac low-key finds a bit of a Father Figure in the Captain. Maybe I’m just protecting a little, but I found it very endearing how the Captain talks directly to Isaac as a person, in many ways he’s kind of firm and fair, but in a way that shows that he actually CARES about Isaac, and not that he’s just trying to get his own way. 

          Like, the Captain is interested in seeing Isaac prosper, but he’s not toxically dedicating himself to Isaac, the way Isaac would’ve done to Dracula’s memory; And that ability to help others and invest in them, while still being yourself, was no doubt enlightening for Isaac.

           Just… that side-eye glance of Isaac’s bear the end, actually stopping to think and consider, when the Captain tells him that hey, you can be a ruler! An almost endearing kind of immature desire to deny this in a rather “It’s not a PHASE” type of way, but it is in fact clearly getting to him, whether he likes to admit or not, and it’s kind of flustering Isaac. When the Captain gives him no shit but still treats him like a person. In general, all of Isaac’s interactions in Season 3 came from older figures who were a lot more experienced than him, which I think just adds to this idea that… 

          He really is kind of young and inexperienced in a lot of ways. And he really needs some second opinions to surround himself with, perspectives that are at times differing; Which I think is a neat contrast with Carmilla, who mostly relies on an echo chamber of her sisters and isn’t very receptive to different opinions.

           But yeah, Isaac is an utter mood, basically a moody, edgy teenager, who just needs some love and cherishing, some real mentorship and guidance, provided with actual respect and consideration, so he can get through what is an incredibly confusing AND formative period of his life. 

          It makes me all the more happy that it turns out for the best for him, and I really want to see a fic where like; Him and Hector encounter Dracula and Lisa, with all four on healthier terms, and Dracula’s sort of joy at seeing his other two sons being happy and living for themselves like he’d hoped- While Hector and Isaac are lowkey like, “See Dad! See how we’ve really become our own person, isn’t that really cool?” In that sort of excited, endearing way where they show a lot of respect and admiration, and place a lot of faith and trust in Vlad’s opinion. 

          Because even if they aren’t dependent on Dracula’s opinion, it’s still nice to see him validated and swell with pride, to actually see his Forge Masters get along as he’d always hoped. Like a sort of Coming of Age moment where they happily reflect on how much they’ve grown, to people who’d really respect and appreciate it, telling them that hey, your love for me, it paid off- It really meant a lot and I’m happy to tell the both of us that it wasn’t for nothing, it really meant SO much to me and helped, thank you!

           It’s just… Really endearing how we can see Isaac comfortably, in a safe space and level of interaction that isn’t plagued by threat nor violence; Afford to get snappy with someone else, like he can actually express his feelings at the Captain, but he doesn’t have to worry about holding himself to a subordinate level like with Dracula. Isaac can just be himself without having to constantly brace himself for the possibility of conflict or bloodshed, he can just comfortably exist in this space with a stranger and actually, fully, talk with someone who he feels actually gets and understands him on some level.

          Isaac is in a good environment where he can just let himself out, and it’s incredibly refreshing to watch- It was no doubt extremely cathartic to Isaac, I imagine. And it really stands to show that just as Lisa advised Dracula, traveling around the world really can be good for your health, for opening your mind and worldview; So it’s sweet to see that Dracula ended up passing on and applying Lisa’s wisdom to his low-key son, and that wisdom DID end up working out for him in the end! Thanks, Lisa.

         Now I can only imagine Isaac talking to Lisa about this and feeling really grateful, because she ended up inspiring HIM as well… And Lisa just looks wryly at Dracula like, Oh so you DID take my advice, and not only that, passed it onto others as well?

         And THAT just makes me imagine an older Isaac who continues the cycle of not abuse, but growth and guidance, who sees himself later on in another angry youth who reminds him a lot of himself, and then guides them to be more constructive- Because believe it or not, this wise King DOES understand what it’s like.

         He chuckles to himself when he realizes how the tables have turned, how HE’s the one giving The Talk to some kid, and he kindly, nostalgically, gratefully reflects on the Captain’s wisdom, and how it lives on through him and now this youth. Isaac and the kid are not so different and this realization of similarity and common ground just helps Isaac with accepting that human part of himself, and reaching out compassionately.

         Isaac is joked with and given much-needed fun and levity, while still taken seriously and respected as an individual; And I’m sure it means a lot to him, not that he fully realizes it yet. The Captain really expresses faith and belief in Isaac to grow up and support others through his own wisdom, the Captain sees himself in Isaac and that’s really fascinating- How this stranger is acting on this empathy to talk to Isaac and relate to him, to humanize him as a person for once. And it’s kind of shocking for Isaac to realize that others can actually relate to and see themselves in him, this alleged ‘monster’ and ‘thing’.

         It’s just neat to see an older figure express belief and expectation in Isaac to be something good because he thinks the best of him, rather than Isaac dedicating his belief to someone else, and it kind of inspires and incentivizes Isaac to do better with his life. That maybe he CAN grow and this isn’t the end for him, and one day teach others- Because maybe he DOES have something valuable to offer! The Captain recognizes Isaac as someone with potential and growth, and the ability to nurture and be positive, and I love that. 

         Especially with how Isaac dedicates himself to Dracula and his ���wisdom of ages’, only for the Captain to turn around and suggest that Isaac himself has his own knowledge worth passing on, and that’s more than enough reason for Isaac to live for himself, then. It’s very nice to see Isaac lowkey latch onto a positive authority figure and actually be emotionally rewarded for it like he needs and deserves. And it’s even sweeter how Isaac leaves the Captain with an amicable farewell wave, and even AFTER an immediate negative experience, Isaac still decides to do better, showing that his lessons really can apply and retain underneath hardship.

         Isaac is challenged but in a healthy way that he can actually engage with and really apply himself towards, because he is a very clever person, he’s allowed to think and be rewarded for it. And it makes it all the more interesting how Isaac in Season 4 does see himself as a holy figure in a sense, not necessarily out of arrogance I feel, but from a real understanding that he’s worth a lot himself. And now Isaac can embrace happily his own self-value and what he has to offer, and his ability to do good, that maybe he ISN’T a monster but in some ways a hero, imagine that!

           (Actually, maybe Castlevania really IS a Coming-of-Age tale in a sense. Hector and Isaac’s growth are obvious, we know Trevor and Alucard is admittedly kind of emotionally stunted teenagers who learn to open up and trust, and even Sypha has her moments where she sees how the world can really suck –like the end of Season 3- before deciding for herself to have agency and initiative, and not be a bit player in someone else’s story regardless, in addition to openly defying some Speaker traditions like a rebellious teenager, because good for her! A narrative about really learning to take initiative and control of your own story, to live life for yourself, DOES seem very Coming-of-Age now does it?)

[alrightinbed-betterwithapen]

Clever Little Things — Part One — David Dobrik x Reader

A/N: hey guys so this one’s based off an awesome ask! I’m writing my asks a little slower at this time (and taking sometime away from Datalie until inspo comes back) to ensure better quality. I’m also turning this one into a series. Lemme know if you have any ideas of where you want this story to go. Anywho, thanks for taking the time to read, love ya!!

Masterlist

Summary: You don’t like David, and he plans on changing that.

Anon Asked: Hey !! Love you're writing, nobody ever does my requests so hopefully u can break that pattern :-), can u do a david x reader where it's an enemies to lovers sort of thing, where he's really charming and smug to her and like a huge flirt and she kinda just rolls her eyes and tells him to fuck off (maybe it could be a series??) Thanks !!

——

David fucking Dobrik.

Fuck that guy.

Yeah, you said it. Repeatedly and sometimes out loud. You couldn’t give a fuck about YouTube’s resident golden boy. You have lived in California far too long to be impressed with young, ridiculously wealthy men and their expensive cars. David seemed like a guy who fell face first into a vat of luck and wore humbleness like a cloak, hiding who he was underneath.

You were bound to run into him around Hollywood, your job as a freelance editor had you working with a ton of people in the industry he dominated. You had once preferred working in TV and film, but when a girl named Gabbie reached out to you, getting your info from a colleague, you were yanked into the YouTube world. Gabbie loved your work and had given your name out to all her influencer friends. The calls came rolling in.

Hey, it was a paycheck. These viral sensations actually made bank, and you were getting a more steady source of income from them than you did at any other job you’d worked in the city of angels. It even led to a pretty long contract job at a decent media group. Where you had to attend events and mingle and really learn about the world you were working in. It was mostly good.

But David, he fucking annoyed you. Whether it was hanging all over Instagram models for clout, or holding up the entrance line at a club to take paparazzi around his car, laughing and playing it up to an extreme, he fucking irked you. You had made the mistake of following him on Snapchat, one of his stories accidentally rolling over from a friends; he had two bleach blondes screaming about merch and then the camera flips around to his smug face telling you to swipe up. Yeah. Fucking. Right.

In your mind there were the Paul’s, Ricegum and David Dobrik: the premier fuckboys of YouTube.

So, there is no way you’re actually going to call Jason Nash about becoming his steady editor. You tell Gabbie as much over coffee.

“But, it’s a job, like long term and well paying... and he asked me about editors I knew the last time I saw him. Plus, if you last for a while, you can put that shit on your resume. And he’s great, like the coolest, chillest dude ever,” she’s explaining, trying to win you over. She had told you all about his kids and ex wife, how stressed he was. And that he could pay big money because he was racking in the revenue from his relationship with Trisha Paytas. Still, working for one of the vlog squad basically meant working for David, and you weren’t interested in that at all.

“Yeah, no. I’m sure he is, but the vlog squad? C’mon. Why would I do that to myself when you noped the fuck outta that mess years ago,” you tell her, sipping on your latte.

“Because I’m not an editor, (Y/N). It’s not like you have to hang out with them. You just hang around Jason and edit his shit. It’s not that complicated,” Gabbie says, looking at you like you’re dumb. You roll your eyes at her.

“Maybe I don’t want to be associated with David Dobrik and his loyal servants when their party comes crashing to the ground. You know it’s coming. He’s the next Shane Dawson expose for sure,” you ramble, “Like, Dobrik is the next Jake Paul. At least that’s what I get from his Snapchat’s, does he do anything but try to sell his shitty hoodies? And prank people until they cry?”

“Yeah. He gives people cars all the time.”

“PR move!” You yell, a little too loudly for nine in the morning at a coffee shop. Gabbie jumps a little and brings her hand to her mouth, shushing you. Ignoring her, you continue, “Yeah, it’s sooo genuine, Gabs. ‘Hey guys, I sent my friend to the hospital last week for a poorly thought out, unfunny stunt. This week I’m buying my assistant a car! No motive, no PR team screaming at me from the sidelines. Nope, I’m just a super awesome, humble guy who appreciates the people who obediently follow me around like a puppy so I can make content that’ll have 16 year olds everywhere buying my shitty merch!’ Gimme a break.”

“Holy fuck, I know you’re a cynic, but you have gone full pessimist lately,” Gabbie laughs at your impression, shaking her head. “They aren’t bad people, (Y/N). David isn’t either, he’s just young and rich and a little dumb. And Jason is probably the most down to earth one of them. Just think about it.”

“Ugh, fine. Fine, just no more talk about it. How’s your book coming?”

You change the subject, firm that the phone number she programmed into your phone will never get any use.

——

Then Defy Media goes under and Clevver, the main source of your rent lately, is done. You are out a decent paying job and next months check, you are royally fucked. Staring at the number in your phone, bent over on your couch, your thumb hovers.

You need the job. You want work, being at home with nothing to do all day makes you stir crazy. But all your points listed out about this still stand.

Fuck it.

You type out a quick message to Jason about Gabbie and his need for an editor with a link to your reel. You press send before you can talk yourself out of it. Then, it’s a waiting game. You’re scouring the internet for job postings when you get a message in return.

Hey! I’m so glad you hit me up. I desperately need help and would love to have you as my editor. Your reel is great! Can you meet for coffee in like 2 hours? I’m behind already and we can talk logistics.

You’re shocked. He must be desperate if he’s hiring you sight unseen and already getting you to work. But it’s a saving grace and more than you could of wished for. You’ll get a paycheck sooner and not have to worry about eviction. You let him know that’s fine and arrange a place.

The meeting goes well, Jason is a cool dude who doesn’t seem as wound up as your usual content creators were. You agreed on a wage (like 35% higher than your last gig, fuck yeah) and got to understand Jason’s edit style and post dates.

What didn’t shock you about the job, but you were hoping you could circumvent, was that you would be working closely with Trisha and David, as Jason often traded footage with both of them. And unlike Jason, they both edited their own vlogs because they had either, fewer responsibilities in their lives (Trisha), or were anal about their edit and wanted to do them personally (David). Great, great, great.

A jobs, a job though. You’ve survived working with some shitty people in your time and honestly didn’t think you’d have any problem on your hands.

——

There are problems though.

Yeah... there are a couple.

——

The first is Trisha. Well, she wasn’t a huge problem, but an obstacle. She was super insecure (you knew this going in) and the first time she came over to Jason’s and you were chilling on the couch, finishing up a vlog, things got tense. She knew you were hired, but she hadn’t met you before. You’d introduced yourself and shook the woman’s hands, wearing your usual editor getup of jeans and a giant hoodie, no makeup, hair not really done up but presentable enough for the public and giant headphones, to tune out the world around you.

You think that helped you because Trisha made a comment about how you were at least not trying to look good for Jason. You laughed at that, and looked her straight in the eyes with meaning behind them, and maybe a little intimidating,

“You couldn’t pay me into retirement to sleep with Jason.”

She’s taken a back for a second and you both look over to the man. You say no offense softly as the man shrugs, but don’t apologize or try to take it back. Trisha just snorts and says she likes you, claws retracting and a calmness returning to the room. Jason looks like a bomb’s been defused and ever grateful for you.

Bullet dodged... hopefully.

——

The next problem is David...

He’s actually the rest of the problems you have with your new job.

See, Trisha got over her bullshit pretty quickly and began texting you once a week for specific footage with Jason. She would describe them well and stay on the phone while you found and verified the clip, and then you’d send them to her. No muss, no fuss. She was an editor’s literal dream.

But, David fucking Dobrik was a nightmare.

Constantly texting you about clips from things that weren’t recorded, but he’s “sure they were because Jason was holding his camera like it was recording”, or waking you up in the middle of night to make sure you weren’t using a certain song for a montage or outro because he was going to use it in the next week.

And that was besides the ridiculous amount of times David was reminding you not to post certain things that were gonna premiere on his channel first. Like, yes, it’s fine to tell you. If it makes David feel better that you’re hearing it from him and not Jason, FINE. But to text you every post day, over a dozen times? It was a fucking joke and has been going on through week four of your new job. And you’d had enough. You’d mentioned it to Jason, but he’d just shrugged it off as David being David.

Well, fuck David.

You’d never even met the man in person at this point in time, but he was living up to every one of your terrible expectations. That’s when the 14th text comes in, as you’re exporting Jason’s latest vlog and just leaning back to relax on the older mans couch. That’s also when you snap, hitting the call button on the text and calling the douchebag.

“Hello? (Y/N)? Why are you callin-,” he starts after a few seconds of waiting for it to connect.

“Hey David! Nice talking to you finally and not just reading your utterly demeaning and demanding text messages!” You start in, just letting loose all the irritation he’s caused you over the last month. “Super appreciate the literally DOZENS of messages you leave me on post day, not to mention in the middle of the god damn night the rest of the week. I’m glad you understand what an invalid I am and how the constant texts actually do help me! It’s absolutely not a slight to my four year education and years of experience in my profession. Or the fact that I do heed your words the FIRST time I hear them, because it’s my literal job. A job I have that actually doesn’t revolve around you. Crazy, I know!” Your voice is just dripping with sarcasm at this point. In your brief pause you can hear a soft, amused breath from his end of the call. It doesn’t stop you at all.

“Anyway, I just wanted to call and let you know how productive you’re making me, and thank you! I really don’t know how I would function in my chosen career without your undying, unrelenting, un-asked for guidance. Hope the vlog that just posted meets your standards! Leave a comment if it doesn’t. Just please, please don’t text me about it.”

And you’re slamming the end button before he can respond. You look up and Jason is standing in the entrance way to his living room, jaw dropped. And all he can say after lifting it off the ground is,

“I didn’t know he was texting you in the middle of the night! Yeah... fuck him.”

You’re glad this ends with you both laughing and not you being fired.

——

“Your editor’s got some mega fucking attitude, dude,” is the first thing David says to Jason, picking him up in the Tesla the next day. Jason just starts cackling at that.

“Yeah, whatever. Don’t text her in the middle of the night. Most people’s work schedule doesn’t extend to 3am, Dave. And I thought she had quite a few points. Like, she works for me. And she does in fact know how to skillfully edit my shitty vlogs,” Jason’s laughing this out and is glad to find David just as amused.

“I wasn’t expecting to get ripped a new asshole is all. I was in an Uber to some event and Natalie heard the whole thing,” David replied, kinda sheepishly.

“You’re just butt hurt that there’s someone in this world that doesn’t give a fuck who you are and is willing to talk shit to your face. And that now Natalie and I know someone put you in your place,” the older man retorts, pointing at him accusingly before going on, “I’m not reprimanding her for having enough of you. She’s doing great AND Trisha likes her. Fuck off dude. Just text her less.”

“What do you mean she doesn’t give a fuck who I am?” Of course this is the part of what Jason was saying that David focuses on.

Shaking his head, he explains, “Well, she knows who you are and is absolutely comfortable enough to basically call you a dick within the first month of being my editor. Also, Gabbie told me the first time we talked about her that (Y/N) hates working for the bigger creators on the platform, and that she thinks they’re all materialistic and out of touch assholes. So, you know, I thought she would be a perfect fit for me. I’m basically nobody. But you? There’s no love lost there from the beginning, but she’s obviously professional enough to keep from snapping on your ass for like a month. I don’t know, Dave. What? You want me to force her to care who you are?”

“No! That’s not what I meant. I guess I just figured-“

“Sorry, dude. Not everyone loves our golden boy. But she’s not a mean person. She’s never even mentioned it. This is what Gabs told me forever ago. Either way, she doesn’t have to be blown over by you to be my editor. Right?”

“No, yeah, right. I guess I didn’t think I was bothering her. I’d always hit you up the same amount.”

“Yeah, but we’re friends. She works for me. It’s different,” Jason’s explaining as David nods along, eyes on the road, thinking.

(Y/N) doesn’t like him? Everyone likes him! YouTube world or not, David was charming as shit. It perplexed him, stirring uneasiness in his chest. This was just going to be a challenge in his eyes now.

She doesn’t like him? That’s fine. She will though.

David guar-an-fucking-tees it.

——

David Dobrik sends you an apology Edible Arrangement. The good kind, all chocolate covered fruit.

There’s a card attached that says,

Jason’s last vlog def met my standards, so you obvy don’t need my help. I’ll stop being such a dick.

(See? I didn’t text you.)

-D

It makes you laugh fucking hard.

You find it a little endearing but also, yeah, you deserve an unhealthy Edible Arrangement. He probably has a contact at the fruit company for appeasing all the people he steps on to run his empire. You’re not special, but the thought is at least there. Whatever. He had stopped bombarding you with texts and had been much more polite in general, so you were more than fine with the whole situation now.

You had hoped this was the end of it.

——

It wasn’t.

——

[minaminokyoko]

Spider-Man: Far from Home--A Spoilertastic Review

Oh, my baby boy is back and it feels good.

Like many of you, I was looking forward to FFH due to the trauma left behind by our final film with all the Avengers present, and I needed to see my sweet Spider Son to try to dry my tears. I'm happy to say Far from Home is just the popcorn flick we need this summer: light, enjoyable, fun. I do admit to a bias right off the bat, before I begin the review: I am one of the hugest fans of the Iron Dad and Spider Son dynamic, and so I knew by default that I wasn't going to like this movie as much as the first one. Sorry. I am a skank for adopted family tropes, and I think Iron Dad and Spider Son was one of the strongest relationships developed in the MCU period. Losing Tony is just...agonizing. I've sectioned it off in my brain as Did Not Happen just to get by, honestly, and so keep that in mind as we proceed.

Spoilers ahead.

Overall Grade: B

Pros:

-Lemme get this out of the way: MY SONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN MY SPIDER SON OH MY GOSH PETER PARKER IS SUCH A GOOD BOI AND A SWEET SMOL BEAN AND I HAVE NO MATERNAL INSTINCTS EXCEPT WHEN IT COMES TO MCU PETER PARKER AND I LOVE THIS CHILD MORE THAN ANYTHING AND I JUST WANT TO PROTECT HIM AND HUG HIM AND BRUSH HIS HAIR AND COOK HIM DINNER I LOVE MY LITTLE BOY Y'ALL.

-Ahem. Tom Holland still shines in this role. I really, solidly care about Peter Parker. He's a great kid and he's very realistic in the way that he's written and acted. He's just a shy, awkward little nerd with a heart of gold who unfortunately has been forced into the worst situations that he's not ready for. I wanted to punch "Nick" in the face for how much goddamn pressure he put on a kid who is literally still in the goddamn mourning process just like everyone else. Peter has so much to deal with and he's only had these powers for a short amount of time, so it's natural that he's so frustrated and anxious and he wants time to go after things that are important to him. I found that very understandable and sympathetic, even if the "I just want to be normal" trope has been done to death in superhero media. MCU Peter has so much heart and I'm proud of this baby for what he's able to accomplish.

-The allusions to Tony and the void left behind hit home quite hard. Especially that fucking gravestone part of the Mysterio sequence. That was just...cruel. Tony taught Peter so much, and he genuinely loved that kid. He grew to love him and trust him and worry about him, and it's so awful that Tony won't get to see him grow up to be his own man. I'm grateful for the time they had together, and I really love Tony leaving Peter the glasses and the A.I., knowing that while he might still make a mistake, he would do the right thing in the end. (Side note: EDITH is as funny as it is fucked up, "Even Dead, I'm the Hero." God fucking damn you, Tony, that is so in-character and it hurts my soul.) "Nick" shoving all that pressure onto Peter made me want to kick his ass, especially since he talks down to him and tries to blame him for not being ready when he only just got into the game relatively speaking. But I also loved the sequence of him in the plane doing exactly what Tony used to do in his lab. It's such a great parallel, showing that Peter is his own person but he's also a chip off the old block, and that is very sweet to see. (I also squealed at the Led Zeppelin comment, oh my son, such a cutie.)

-I was extremely hesitant about them choosing Gyllenhaal for the role of Mysterio (not because of his skill as an actor, just because he looks like a giant puppy, sorry) but now I see why. He's an unstable narcissist and it fits him. What a jerkoff. I was furious with how callous he was and how he shifted blame everywhere like it's just SO necessary to kill all these people for fame, fortune, and money. Ugh, what a shitbird. So kudos to him. I didn't think he could pull it off, but he sure as hell did.

-The effects were fantastic. I really do think the illusion sequence will go down in MCU history as one of the most visually creative, disorienting, heartbreaking things we've seen so far in the saga. It was harrowing, especially the Iron Man suit crawling out of the grave. What a kick in the fucking nuts for Peter, and for us.

-Peter and MJ, while it did get a little overwhelming, were cute as shit. And I'm glad that the modern films are removing the stigma of the "I can't let my family and friends know I'm the hero" thing. It was definitely heavily done in the 80's, 90's, and early to mid 2000's and I'm fine to see it being phased out at least in terms of the MCU. It's a little more realistic that most of your family or friends would be able to handle your secret, and not only that, help you out on occasion. I'm glad she knows and their kisses were freaking adorable. Sweet babies.

-That. First. End. Credits. Scene. What a fucking killer. First off, God bless whoever at Marvel Studios listened to the thousands of fans begging them to cast J. K. Simmons as J. Jonah Jameson again, continuity be damned. The man IS the embodiment of the character, and I absolutely fucking ADORE that they gave us the nod and the wink we all wanted even back when Spidey was Andrew Garfield. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Next, oh my God, my sweet baby boy, my smol bean, got called out and branded as a murderer. Fuck, this is gonna be a serious problem, and considering the fact that we don't have the next MCU film lined up yet (at the time this was posted, and mind you, San Diego Comic Con is in two weeks, so maybe they'll clarify) the consequences could definitely be crazy. Poor Peter. He's gonna have a lot of work to do in order to undo this mess and prove that he's not Spidey, but this could also mean they're adapting some part of the Civil War story, maybe. We'll see, but that was a big ass bomb to drop.

-The Skrulls second credit scene was a genuine surprise, and it made sense. I thought Nick felt a little off the whole movie, and that really does explain why--it's someone else doing an impression of him and trying their best. Nick would've been smart enough to know probably right off the bat that Beck wasn't who he said he was. His story was way too noble and convenient. Nick would've probably have run facial recognition and then it would ping for a former Stark Industries employee, and that would've been a wrap. I like that it being a Skrull justifies what would be a plothole. Neat idea.

-I appreciated the Spidey's eye view of the action. Those were some cool shots and they were centered well, so you didn't feel nauseous or anything. It kept you in the action and was very engrossing and cool.

Cons:

-The bystander syndrome that everyone got this time around is a little irksome. It's the same reason that while I really, really love Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2, I default don't like it as much as the first one since everyone got put into the bystander spot except for basically Peter in the very end. While it was nice to have them defend themselves, I'd have liked it more of MJ and Ned and the others figured their own way out of escaping the drones. Why? Because it would show Peter that it's not always on just his shoulders. His friends are competent and they can help, and I think that would've been a better way to go rather than him doing it himself.

-Some of the humor was flat. JB Smooth and the other teacher are the worst offenders, I'd say. They were given too much screentime and they're not that funny.

-The May and Happy subplot goes almost nowhere and isn't fully explored, and I kind of would've been fine if it hadn't been in the movie at all. It doesn't add much.

-The ending was kind of unclear? Did Beck actually get shot and die from his wounds? If so, then what was the official story about the drones and his body and whatnot? It's all pretty damn vague. If Beck is dead, that's disappointing. I kinda wish Marvel would stop killing the villains at the end of almost all the films. Longest running recurring villains are Loki and Thanos, I think. Vulture lived, and I'd like him to return in the future if possible. You can use actors more than once, Marvel, they're not tissue paper.

-Nitpick: It did almost feel like we missed a movie where Peter likes MJ. She was more a cameo in the first one than a full lead, so it almost felt like there's a short film somewhere of them getting closer and him getting over Liz and liking MJ instead.

-Nitpick: Same with the whole "other guy also likes MJ" subplot. Eh, I could leave it out and not miss it.

-Nitpick: I still can't with how they expect anyone to buy that Night Monkey story. I mean, it's black suited Spidey no matter which way you look at it. And yes, people should immediately notice he's at the very least one of the students at Peter's high school, and then it can't be too hard after that. I mean, Peter doesn't even change his voice while he's in the suit.

-Nitpick: I was kind of hoping for more clues or reactions to half of everyone, you know, being fucking murdered by Thanos for five years and returning to their lives. But I guess that was just pushed aside because it could become a whole rabbit hole issue. Still, though, I was hoping someone would tell us if the Snapped just don't remember being dead or if there is some kind of afterlife they experienced. (Side note: wow, holy shit, the teacher's mini story about it was dark and awful but I did laugh out of shock. I mean, damn. Low blow, wifey. Low fucking blow.)

-They mention spidey sense but I'd have liked it if they explicitly explain why he has it sometimes but other times he doesn't? It seems to fluctuate, but why and how? Is it more like anxiety or an extra sense? Is it based on his emotional health? I want clarification.

All in all, I had a good time and I'd put this in the middlegrade MCU films. I still really enjoy Holland in the role and I want nothing but good things for him and this franchise.

[orionsangel86]

Episode Review - 14x01 - Want, Everything, Sunshine, and Beyonce

Hellatus is over everyone! Put away the crack memes and shit posts and bring out your meta caps because we are back in business! Oh boy are we back in business! 

Right before @tinkdw came over to watch the premier with me, we discussed our expectations and both agreed that whilst our expectations were pretty much in our boots, we would consider the episode a success if it was even remotely meta. We wanted to be able to see clearly constructed themes both as a continuation of what had come previously and as a foundation for a strong season going forward. We were both hoping that at least from a meta perspective, that the episode would leave us happy and thirsting for more.

Dabb did not disappoint us.

It was such a strong episode meta-wise. There is a lot to pick apart that is ripe for discussion and I seriously hope that Dabb will keep a close eye on the other writers to ensure that these themes continue throughout the season. Plot-wise it was a weaker episode, but then again Dabb has always focused on the character emotional arcs more than the actual plot points in recent years, and I am grateful for that. The second half of season 13 felt stagnant to me simply because there was little to no character development and from a meta perspective it was also extremely weak. I went into this hellatus feeling negative about the show simply because I hadn’t actually enjoyed an episode properly since 13x12. However, the season 14 opener was most definitely enough to quench my thirst and get me excited for the coming season. Fingers crossed it goes from strength to strength.

Long review under the cut

Michael!Dean - What Do You Want

Straight in after the introductory Nyoooom of Baby (driven by a grim looking Sam and a pretty impressive swap from title music to diegetic music), we are introduced to the angel of the hour. 

8 Things about Michael:

1. I am not sure how I feel about Jensen’s performance right now. He is playing Michael extremely straight and whilst I can see how this cold, calm portrayal can come across quite terrifying, it’s not a carry over from Christian Key’s performance. I don’t want to be too critical, because we only saw him in a few scenes so far, but when I compare it to how Tahmoh portrayed Gadreel alongside Jared, and the way Misha pretty much nailed Mark P’s performance (and greatly improved it), I guess I’m still waiting for Jensen to WOW me in the role. The one thing I will say is that he did terrify me and managed to come across creepy when acting alongside his own WIFE. So he's doing something right I'll give him that. When Jensen wants to have chemistry with someone, he does.

2. I like the fact that Michael’s goal right now seems to be to educate himself on our world. He’s not running around causing terror and mayhem like Lucifer, he’s learning how best to go about “improving” the world. He also appears to be inspiring people with his words: “Holy men, leaders, killers” and we have seen the effect he had already on Kip the Demon - who was inspired to run for King of Hell until Sam Fucking Winchester ruined that plan. I wonder if we will be seeing the fallout of Michael’s specific type of inspiration throughout the season.

3. “What do you want?” Obviously this question is an important one. It was repeated like six times throughout the episode, though never to the main characters. It looks like this is going to be the theme of the season and as far as TFW’s personal journey’s go, this is now the question we are asking them and the question being explored. What does Sam want? Or Cas? Or Dean? This has an endgame flavour to it that has me extremely excited. 

4.Michael’s own personal want of “A better world” is a follow on in a way of many of the villains that have come before him. For seasons now we have been exploring this concept of improving the world for the better. We had it first in season 8 when the brothers had the goal to do the trials to make a world without demons, in season 11 Amara’s vision was to destroy so she could reshape the world to her own blueprints that she saw as better than Chuck’s. Dabb era has been even more obvious, first with the goal of the British Men of Letters being “a world without monsters” which was shared by Mary wanting a better world for her boys, and then in season 13 Jack’s arrival floated the idea of “paradise world” to Castiel. I don’t think Michael is gonna fair any better than any of these others, and wonder exactly where all these escalated versions of “a better world” will end up. It's all exploring the notion that nothing is black and white, but in fact a grey area.

5. I already discussed Michael and Sister Jo here. Cas mirrors... Cas mirrors everywhere... I also side eye the "pretty things" line because it reaks of Dean and his whole sublimation thing. In that sense it seems Dabb is making Jo a mirror for both our boys. I'll be keeping a close eye on her from now on.

6. ”Why would he say yes to you?” “Love”. OH DEAN. Just, Dean wasn’t in this episode but my god did we feel his presence RIGHT HERE. And to think there are people out there that still think this is a macho mans show about macho manly men. I’ve never known another character with more heart than Dean Winchester. This show is about LOVE above all things. I wish people would stop trying to deny that fact.

7. Radioactive Pigeon:

Look I’m not trying to be critical okay it’s very pretty and this is the FIRST time they have attempted showing an angels true form and that is amazeballs and all, but still. He has little pigeon wings and a bent halo. Pfft.

8. The Purity of Vampires. I actually love this. I think it comes across a bit silly on the surface, but the whole idea of monsters being pure is a massive callback to purgatory and season 8 and anything that calls back to season 8 makes me happy. 

Sam Fucking Winchester

Excuse me while I scream HELL YES. I have been waiting for Sam to take on the leadership role for AGES. Honestly this was always my dream endgame for Sam. To organise and lead the hunting community. There’s your better world guys. It was something that the writers flirted with in late season 12, but at the time Sam only took on the position with Dean’s approval and encouragement to go ahead. Sam has always stepped back and let Dean take the lead throughout the show as the big brother and parental figure. I think this was always a role he was destined to fill and something that has been building in the subtext for a long time (much the same way as the toxic codependency has been shown to hold Sam back.) 

What’s of interest here is what will happen when Dean comes back and is fighting fit. Will Sam relinquish his leadership position to Dean? Or fight for it? Will this cause conflict? I read this amazing meta on this which turned into an epic discussion and I highly recommend reading it. My HEART.

Sam’s state in the episode is one of constant motion. He cannot stop for a second, always being pulled from one thing to another. He doesn’t sleep, he doesn’t get to change out of his hideous blue and orange shirt (which is officially now my favourite Sam shirt), he doesn’t even get to finish his soup. I know Jared said that Sam had a ‘grief beard’ but Tink and I are adamant that the beard is simply due to the fact that Sam doesn’t get the time to shave. He has taken so much weight on his shoulders and in amongst that has to deal with horribly traumatic things such as face the face of his abuser and actually be a healer to him. Sam doesn't get a moment to himself and spends all his time concerned about others. It's very noble of him, but he's going through the motions.

Sam is the contrast here to both Cas and Dean, who are physically and mentally stuck in their awful situations. Sam is also stuck in a way, stuck with no time to actually contemplate the situation he has got himself in. Stuck without a moment to breath, or to grieve his brother. Stuck holding the weight of the world on his shoulders as every other single character looks to him for support, help and guidance. Sam is the motherfucking Beyonce of the episode, that is for certain.

He is also calling the shots on hell now...

(x)

... I find it amusing that back in the early days Sam's destiny was to be the boy king of hell, and it's almost like he's fulfilled that destiny, not by being king, but by being gatekeeper and in a position powerful enough to scare the demons into submission. This is probably what Crowley intended. Sam probably owns the moon now.

About Nick - Well, first of all, I TOLD YOU SO. I did say that I could tell the guy from the back of his head and I was damn right about that. Learn to trust me guys I am occasionally good at this stuff. Okay, now that that is out of my system, let’s talk about this. Round of applause for Jared in this scene. Because he takes Sam’s hell trauma extremely seriously and made sure that every nuance, every twitch, was picked up by those camera’s. I loved that. Potentially Nick could be a good way to help Sam heal in the coming season, as Sam has finally freed himself from Lucifer’s grasp. Is it fair that he should have to look after the face that tormented him for years? No. Not at all, but could it prove somewhat cathartic in the end? Maybe. 

At the end of the day, Dabb must have considered Nick to have a purpose beyond “I want to give Bucklemming something to play with so they don’t fuck up my actual story” and “We need to keep stroking Mark P’s ego for some stupid reason”. Because otherwise I am really worried about how limited his power must be, and refuse to entertain the thought that he was overthrown by Singer and his horrid wife. I can see the potential in Nick being a dark mirror for Dean following his freedom from Michael’s possession. How Nick deals with the post possession trauma could be an indicator to how Dean is really coping even when he buries it.

At the same time, both Sam and Cas have been possessed by Lucifer, and therefore have all the experience between them to help Dean’s recovery without needing Nick to get involved. So I dunno guys. I’m trying to see the positive in something I otherwise despise. 

Anyway I thought Jared was fucking superb in that scene and pretty much the whole episode and want to give him a round of applause because it is rare that he truly gets to shine on his own without Jensen by his side.

Now all we need is for Sam to get some sleep. How he is still functioning by the episodes end I will never understand.

Castiel Everything Winchester

(x)

Look at him. So defiant and done. You can almost imagine that fire behind him burning in his eyes as well. He’s such a dom.

Several things about Cas in 14x01:

1. He is 100% done with every demon on the planet and doesn’t give a fuck. Honestly though. The way he says “Oh God” when Kip walks in. The way he rolls his eyes. I wonder if he had Dean’s voice in his head saying “You know who wears sunglasses indoors Cas? Douchebags.” 

2. He is making desperate choices in order to save Dean, which is certainly typical for him. The fact that he spends the entire episode stuck in a chair is a fantastic metaphor for his whole feelings on the situation, a metaphor then reinforced through a mirror at the end when he speaks with Jack (we never get anything explicit with Cas do we?). The fact that Cas can’t save Dean right now is weighing on him, but he is determined to do whatever it takes. The conversation he has with Sam at the end is a brilliantly short but important moment:

“I should never have gone to those demons”

“Cas no I don’t blame you. honestly I wish I had thought of it first. If it meant finding Dean I’d work with.. I’d do anything.”

The takeaway here is that actions speak louder than words. Sam HAS been distracted being leader of the hunters and having to face his own nightmares thanks to Nick, but Cas has literally been doing anything he can with a soul focus on saving Dean. 

It's an intimate moment between them. In a bunker now bustling with life and movement this is the only time in the episode that it really seems still. The library has always been Sam's private space, where he feels most at home - like the kitchen is for Dean. But here he and Cas sit as equals together weighed down by their shared grief. It's the soft moments like this that I love the most about this show. They are both willing to do anything they can, but the difference is that whilst Sam is being pulled in lots of different directions, Cas’s sole focus is Dean. Note that heaven wasn’t mentioned once. It hasn’t even crossed his mind.

3. Everyone Knows, but Cas doesn’t give a shit. 

“How is it you lost Dean, I thought you guys were joined at the... well you know, everything.”

It is an extremely explicit nod to Destiel. It is also the first time a line like this has made it into an episode since season 7 I think. The difference now being that we’ve had years of steady subtext and narrative building on the love story, hence the line has a different weight to those previously. It was very carefully written, careful not to imply that Cas was joined to BOTH Winchesters as the line was specifically about Dean. It was written by the showrunner, who would have known the significance of such a line, it encourages the view that all of heaven and hell have made their own assumptions about Dean and Cas’s relationship, and in case anyone wants to argue that the missing word was “hip” like the saying goes, the gesture and nod by Kip goes to prove otherwise. In other words, there is no platonic interpretation. Which is delightful.

Cas’s completely stoic silence is even more delightful. God I love him.

4. He can’t see demons true faces anymore. Like everyone else, Cas not realising those people were demons really threw me for a moment. Tink and I both agreed that the scene should have had Kip snap his fingers and have the demons smoke in and possess all those people instead - still catching Cas off guard but not making it seem like he is just super unobservant. I personally feel like this was just an error Dabb made. I have no desire to try to meta explain that one and I accept it as the error it is. I do like that it took an entire room of demons and 4 sets of enochian hand cuffs to overpower him though...The fact that he had to sit there and watch his family be beaten and almost killed around him whilst he was helpless again, is an excellent parallel to Dean’s current situation and what he will most likely have to face in the coming episodes, and also a reflection of Cas’s mental state (as mentioned above), Coming out of this episode it seems like this will be another season where Cas and Dean mirror each other and walk similar paths in terms of growth and development - if only those paths would meet with a kiss!

5. He’s the bait. Tink found this line hilarious straight away, where as I had to blink and ask why because I obviously took offence. But once we started discussing it and realised the quadruple entendre it is I found myself applauding Dabb on his genius. Cas IS used as bait, by the SPN PR people. Because he’s Mister Popularity. He’s also the character who causes the most conflict in fandom, with those who love him so much they are bitter and mean and those who simply hate him often complaining about the exact same things but in different ways - leaving the regular fans stuck in the middle (Tink explained this to me with delight - how both anti’s and bitter!cas girls alike will latch onto that line for completely different reasons). He’s also potentially a queerbait depending on how you look at it. But anyway. Cas’s epic eye rolls in this episode were almost enough to rival Sam’s bitchfaces. I am impressed.

6. He takes no pleasure for himself. I am forever going to obsess over Cas’s relationship with human food and drink:

“Coffee has no effect on me.”

“Me either, not anymore. But its like with saltwater taffee or infants, you know I just like the taste”

Although we can argue his refusal is out of stubbornness to not give the demon the satisfaction, even when accepting drinks from the Winchesters he doesn’t usually bother, or will stick with water. Even if he is seen ordering coffee it is usually only to avoid looking suspicious in diners. We know Cas enjoys some food and drink, but Cas rarely allows himself the pleasure. Even in 13x14 when Dean offered him a beer, it remained unopened. A symbolic metaphor for Cas refraining from indulging in other pleasures? This is why I am so so desperate for Michael to ask Cas what it is HE wants. Lucifer stated that Cas was a “pleasureless dullard” and I want to see this theme continue. Cas uses his grace as an excuse not to indulge and I consider this linked to meta about the “sacred oath” of heaven and Cas being duty bound and numbed by his grace. But these are all elements for a bigger meta at another time and the moment in this episode is just another snippet of that.

7. He looks awesome framed in fire. I just really liked the set up of Motown Meats as the new hang out for hell, with its fire pit and orange glowy bar. There is a lot of general symbolism there but I enjoyed the flames framed behind Cas in every shot he was in. Because even though he was mostly stuck in this episode, that fire raging inside him didn’t burn out once. He WILL save Dean. Just as he promised to Jack at the end, even if he get’s battered, beaten and bruised, his determined stubborness to save his husband will win eventually. Cas is no longer the broken thing of seasons 11/12. He well and truly rose like a phoenix in season 13 and now it’s showing through, as it’s a mission fueled by his own passion and love.

Jack Winchester (AKA my nougat son)

Poor Jack, like his father he hasn't had it easy in 14x01. He is struggling with his humanity now, his usefulness, in such a clear mirror to Cas that it kinda hits you in the face. He is desperately seeking guidance from those around him. First in the form of AU Bobby who has clearly bonded with Jack following their experiences together in apocalypse world.

It is great to finally see the Bunker gym! A room we all have ingrained in our fandom hive mind thanks to a 100 destiel fanfics. We all know what's gone on in there. >.>

Throughout the episode, Jack seeks out guidance first with Bobby, which goes badly, then with Sam, which is interrupted, and finally with Cas, which is when he finally gets told what he needs to hear. I am really happy that whilst Jack has so many father figures now, it is Cas who truly holds that torch and is able at least somewhat give Jack what he needs near the episodes end. If only he had damn well given his son a hug!

I loved the conversation so much that I transcripted it here:

JACK: I’m fine.

CAS: You did well

JACK: All I did was get punched. In the face

CAS: To be fair we all got punched in the face

JACK: That’s not - Before when I had my powers I could have done something

CAS: Jack you don’t have your powers, and your grace should regenerate in time, but until then..

JACK: I’m useless. I cant kill demons I cant find Dean and Michael is in our world and I cant stop him.

I can’t do anything. I don’t have anything.

CAS: Oh Jack. That’s just not true. You’ve got me. You have all of us. You have your family.

And we are going to find dean and we are going to beat Michael and we are going to do it together. Because that’s what we do.

This whole conversation was PERFECT. Every line chosen so specifically and weighted with meaning. Urgh Dabb I fucking love you for this.

Jack starts with “I’m fine” which Cas knows by now means you are not fine but he has also learned to recognise that sometimes it doesn’t mean “leave me alone” as Jack was crying out for guidance and support here. 

The mirrored “got punched in the face” calls to attention the fact that Jack is a reflection of Cas himself here and everything he has felt both now and in the past.

Jack’s complaint about being useless without his powers is a fear Cas has carried with him since his fall in season 9. It’s something that still weighs on him and whilst Cas now knows his place by the Winchester’s side, knows that they are a family and that he is not just a hammer, I think that fear of losing his power and being cast out is still well and truly weighing him down. It will be cathartic for Cas to see the family accept Jack as one of their own even if he is “useless” and human. 

Cas’s “That’s just not true” when Jack says he is useless - his voice breaks and you KNOW Cas has had those exact same thoughts.

“you’ve got me, you’ve got all of us. You have your family” compared to You’re my family, I love you, I love all of you” compared to “We're family. We need you. I need you.” The difference is there is no ambiguity in the word ME. Dabb turned it around, but had Cas clear it up. It’s the same line every time. The only difference is the placement of each individual statement. If this isn’t yet another clear example that the “I love you” was specifically directed at Dean I don’t know what is. THIS IS A CONTINUING PATTERN PEOPLE.

The determined promise to save Dean at the end, right after he specifies the singular and plural because obviously Dean was on Cas’s mind at that point - Mister I Don’t Get Words Wrong over here knows exactly what he means.

I love this whole conversation, but as I said above, it drums home the fact that whilst the Winchesters and others may be sources of guidance and support for Jack, he only has one true father, and I think Dabb wanted to make that clear in this episode. Remember:

Fingers crossed for more father/son bonding between these two in future episodes.

Mary and Bobby

(x)

Baring in mind I was expecting 1 small Destiel moment in the episode in the form of a line from a demon. You have NO IDEA how happy this moment between Mary and Bobby made me. If anyone saw that inktober pic I drew for premier day of me and Tink gasping in shock at the screen, it was for THIS moment. My face lit up in delight.

I said at the start of this long review that Dabb picked his moments well. With every second counting from a meta perspective. This was one of those.

Tell me, anyone, when watching that moment, would you deny that there was something between Bobby and Mary? As homework I'd like you all to play this scene to your heteronormative friends and family, or even be brave and ask a bibro. Would ANYONE deny that it was intended to be romantic?! I highly doubt it.

And yet there was nothing textually explicitly romantic about it. There was NOTHING in this scene that hasn’t been filmed a thousand times between Dean and Cas. The fact that Dabb chose to write this extremely small seemingly unimportant moment, in the kitchen, and for Bobby to use THOSE EXACT WORDS. As I have mentioned several times already, Dabb doesn’t fuck around when using well known moments from past canon in order to reinforce the importance of a thing. Dabb LOVES parallels. He wrote Bloodlines after all. He also knows the fandom hive mind and the things we pick up on and latch on to. This was a very smart calculated decision to include this in the episode and I am LIVING that he did it. GIVE ME ALL THE BOBBY x MARY/ DESTIEL PARALLELS. 

...

I actually really liked Mary in this episode. There is so much discourse in fandom about her and whilst I find Sam Smith pretty cold and wooden, I have never understood the utter hatred of Mary as a character. Hence why I praise Dabb’s genius at this moment:

(x)

Because this line literally sums up her entire arc since her return. Tink and I paused the episode and basically flailed at each other because this is EXACTLY what Mary has been trying to do. She was in HEAVEN, with her BABIES and suddenly she is back on earth with two grown men who are strangers to her, telling her they are hunters and have suffered a life of HORRORS without her. So she ran. Hell, I would have ran too. She shoved herself into hunting because all she could think about was trying to make things GOOD for her boys. Trying to FIX her mistakes the only way she knew how: by HUNTING. She was drowning in the bad. So she found focus in trying to make things good. Like in this episode, she reassures Sam so much that he snaps at her. He doesn’t want to be reassured, and that’s fine. But my god this felt like the first time Mary has truly had a voice. I really weren’t kidding when I said that Dabb made sure every word counted.

OTHER THINGS

I am unsure how I feel about the title card:

Tink called it. I think it looks a bit odd, a bit too clean. I like the title cards to be grim and dark. Black angel wings though! And hey, at least the fiery halos in the title cards are perfectly spherical... so we know they CAN do it right...

*side eyes SFX team*

Kip as a wannabe Crowley was kinda fun for a one off episode but I am glad that they are stressing now that wannabe Crowley’s get killed. The last one we had was Bart in 13x08 who was very much the same flirtatious queer coded demon. I’m fed up with the villainous queer coding by now. It’s been done too often. Give me another Demon like Alastair or Ramiel or none at all.

“Asmodeus Kentucky Fried” DID ANYONE LIKE ASMODEUS OTHER THAN BUCKLEMMING? This made me LOL.

The fight scene at the end was really weird and overly long. I dunno why they decided on so many random slow mo and wooosh shots. the whole Mary slow mo throwing the blade at Sam was cringy. I wish they’d stop being experimental and stick with what they know! You think they’d learn after 13x23!

Maggie was a bit annoying. Why bring her along if she can’t fight? Also the random cuts to her reaction after Jack was angsty had me reeling. simply because in het couples that’s a brewing romance and that is a massive NOPE from me. I like her as an individual character, I DO NOT like her as a love interest to a 1 year old, and I certainly wouldn’t like some pining story for her where she falls for an unavailable guy. It’s not fair on her character. The one thing I did like was the “pointy end” comment. It reminded me of Charlie for some reason.

The throw away line about Ketch being in London looking for the golden egg Lucifer/president extractor. Nice closing of a plot hole there Dabb.

I liked the Jesus weapon expert hunter dude. He seemed quirky. Dead man’s blood bullets are an excellent idea. 

DETROIT. Why does everything always happen in Detroit? I swear one day they are gonna reveal that Detroit is like a central universal power hub where the walls between the dimensions are thinnest or something. I could go on about this but I am sure a better meta writer elsewhere already has and this is waaay too long so I’m leaving this here.

If you got this far. Kudos and thank you for sticking around to read my thoughts. Feel free to ask me anything about any of the above. If I could hand out cookies through the internet I totally would right now.

Basically I enjoyed the episode. I have since re-watched it a dozen times and it is really the meta of it all that makes me love it. The story IS weak, and there ARE moments that are a bit odd, or infuriating depending on the way you look at it, but the heart of the episode was classic Dabb. All character driven and full of meaning. I am extremely well fed after this meta feast, perhaps even enough to get me through the horror show that will be Bucklemming’s 14x02. 

So long as Cas continues to look like a sexy beast I’m sure I’ll get through it.

I’ll just leave this here:

God he’s such a dom. :P

[tanyaryanmusic]

The Time I Made a Baby.

My Brother turns 26 in 10 days. And since I’m cheap, I decided to write him his birthday present. That’s mostly about me. Happy Birthday Hayden. You’re welcome. 

When I was four (and a half) I BEGGED my mom for a sibling. PLEASE mom. Can I please have a little brother or sister? 

I wanted the responsibility of setting an example. Plus someone to hang out with; adults are boring. 

My mom uncomfortably and effectively dodged this conversation with grace. She was a responsible parent, so she didn’t ever break it down to me that it takes two people to make a baby, and my dad and her were divorced, and that logistically this would be a bit awkward etc. 

She likely said something along the lines of “I’ll think about it.” - which probably worked because I was really naive as a kid, and I thought people actually meant it. (Same with “I’ll tell you when you’re older.” - I thought they actually WOULD tell me. When I was 13 I was really put out to find that they didn’t even remember! The nerve.)

Anyways. To help mom think about it, I decided to level-up my efforts and approach upper-management. I prayed to God every night. I kneeled in front of my home-made dollhouse and said: “Please God, can I please have a little brother or sister? I’d really like someone to play with. I promise to be the best big sister ever. Thank you.” 

Maybe occasionally I’d throw in that I’d really also love a new Polly Pocket, or an extra plate of dessert. But I pretty much focused in on that little sibling. 

It took a while, but the day came. My mom told me that I was going to have a little brother or sister. 

HOLY MOLEY. I made a freaking baby. I MADE A FREAKING BABY!  

I was STOKED. No big deal or anything, just a five-year-old making babies like it’s a piece-a-cake. I was extremely impressed with myself. 

(*For those of you keeners wondering where this little baby *actually* came from, like, from a non-five-year-old perspective… This part is a little embarrassing for my parents (sorry guys) and funny to me. My parents happened to share ONE lonely night, TOGETHER, and HAPPENED to get pregnant. My biological dad. And biological mom. And probably God or some shit. They happened to conceive my 100% biological bother in a one-night-stand. Stay classy you crazy kids!) 

Before he arrived, I felt responsible for him. I mean, come on. I MADE him. I mean, God helped and stuff, but still. This was big! I could teach him things, and we could play together at the park. We would be best friends too, of course. 

So when the time came that my mom went into labour, she came and woke me upon the middle of the night, told me that she was going to the hospital. 

I remember, I went to get out of bed and grab my coat. Alright, it’s time to have my baby. 

Mom stopped me. “No honey, you’re going to stay here with Grampa and Gramma. You can come visit tomorrow.”

What? 

I was so hurt; so disappointed. 

But that’s my baby. 

I couldn’t understand not being included in this very important part of… whatever happens when someone has a baby. (I had a pregnant Barbie. Her tummy kind of flipped inside-out to have her babies. I figured the logistics of this in real life would be relatively easy for me to comprehend.) How could I not be there?? 

I was a pretty obedient kid, so even though I was hurt, I didn’t really put up a fuss. I went back to bed. 

When I finally got to see him the next day, I thought I got to name him. I mean, if I haven’t made it clear already, this was my damn baby. I don’t remember what I wanted to call him. Maybe Sparky or Ned. I have no idea. I soon learned I didn’t get to name him either. Bunk. 

Oh well. He was my baby. And here he was in my arms. Hayden Anthony Lee. 

He was kind of weird looking and squished up. He had this sticky chunk of black hair, and his eyes were like little fleshy slits. But I didn’t mind. I loved him so much. I was so happy. 

I can’t remember how long the novelty lasted. But it was pretty short lived. People would come to visit us, and bring presents. Presents! I LOVE presents! (I was still holding out for that Polly Pocket - thank you God for the little brother and all, but I’m still waiting on a few more things… just a reminder!) But I found out that the presents weren’t for me. Not one of them. HE got them all. And mom might’ve got a couple. 

These people would gush over HIM. And how cute HE was. And if they talked to me, they asked me what I thought of HIM. I was getting so annoyed. No one cared about me anymore. Was I even cute anymore? People used to tell me I was, but not anymore. No one mentioned how much I’d grown, or how big I was getting. They just talked about HIM all the time. Ugh. 

Well. It got worse before it got better. I had assumed that I would be able to train my little sibling to be a kind, respectful human, that would do the things I asked. I wound up with this little creature that would run butt-naked into my room and touch all my stuff! EW. 

AND he wore diapers. So gross. I didn’t know they would wear diapers when they could walk. Learn to use a toilet, jeez. 

He didn’t listen to me. And he couldn’t even talk properly. I had to tell everyone what he was saying so they would know. How would he ever get through this life without me? 

I couldn’t figure him out. He had no sense of responsibility. Even as he got older. He was loud, and wild. He wore the WEIRDEST things. He didn’t care what anyone thought. He would ‘fish’ off the edge of a boat that was parked in a driveway. He wore his underwear on the outside of his clothes. He would get naked anytime he saw water in any form (rain barrel, horse trough, puddle, you name it). He didn’t become my best friend at all; in fact he tattled on me all the time! What a rip off. And much to my prolonging dismay, he became cuter… and I got my two front adult teeth.

(Hi. Side-note. Let’s all take a moment to consider my giant-ass adult teeth on the small face of a 7 year old. Poor, poor Tanya. I’m so sorry for your face.) 

There was never a time I came to understand him. There are times even now, I can struggle to relate to my brother, though as years have passed (and we stopped sharing a bathroom) I appreciate him so much more.

My brother has rare qualities that I haven’t come across in many people. He can make anyone feel absolutely comfortable with exactly who they are. He’s easy-going, open-minded. He is a compassionate listener and he will help you whenever you ask him. I have never seen him express judgement on a person (except maybe the occasional politician); he’s delightfully nerdy (he has a Star Wars tattoo, and plays D&D on the reg.) and he can rattle off the most random, useless facts you’ll never need. He makes the MOST accurate voice impressions (The Family Guy ones are my personal fav), and he’s a tremendously talented actor. And if you need to feel supported in something that you do not feel confident in, my brother should be your first call. 

Hayden is the only person - to this day - that I feel comfortable failing in front of. I will sing things that aren’t ready in front of him, I will try new techniques, I’ll bounce new ideas and thoughts; and he’s this perfect, non-judgemental sounding board (my husband a very close second). When I was younger, there was a period of years I didn’t sing in front of ANYONE. I would sing in front of Hayden.

I’m grateful to have this butt-munch in my life. Even when I thought he was an irresponsible, attention-seeking, diaper-butted, thumb-sucking cling-on. He was still okay. And he still is. 

Sometimes I still give God a little shout-out for the fact that my parents had irresponsible, unprotected sex. Well done all. Well done. 

Happy Birthday Sparky or Ned, or whatever your name is. Love you. And I’m so glad I MADE YOU. 

[maiji]

4) Favorite female character(s)?

Yu Yu Hakusho has a very strong female cast, and I love so many of them for so many different reasons. Even Togashi's most stereotypical ladies have nuances to them that make them that much more atypical, that much more multi-dimensional, that much more real, than a cookie cutter trope. In 30 days of yu yu I talked at length about Genkai. And I still agree with pretty much everything I wrote before. So I'm going to take this opportunity to talk about a really badass female character who is rarely discussed.

Yusuke’s human ancestor/Raizen's lover the kudakusushi is only really ever identified as "onna" (woman), and Raizen never reveals her name - if he ever even knew it, since he seemed so impressed and cowed by her. She only appears in one scene, a flashback, but what a presence and figure she cuts. And what an awesome (in the truest sense of the word) ripple effect her existence has made all the way through 700 years.

I really like both the idea of the character and also the execution of the character. In a number of ways she tips both the manic pixie dream girl and the Japanese yamato nadeshiko tropes on their heads. Raizen is carefree and high on doing whatever the hell he wants to do, which is basically just eating humans for fun and fighting and causing trouble, then he meets the woman of his dreams that he never could have imagined: a corpse-eating Buddhist shaman whose body is a complete wasteland of poison and disease so that she can make antidotes to save others. And she's like "Who the hell are you? You're garbage. You wanna eat me? Go ahead. You'll die and you'll still be garbage." and Raizen is like, "Whoa. Holy shit. You are totally right. I am complete garbage and a waste of existence." And is motivated into ascetic reform for the rest of his life to try to become worthy of her.

We know Raizen was completely in love. But there's little to no indication of how tied she was to him - her story completely separates from his after their one meeting, and there's a strong sense that her character is very much independent from him, which is something pretty amazingly hard to pull off considering she only appears in the narrative because of that single night he has with her. But it's made very clear that Raizen was the one who chases her, that he begs her for that one night, that they never speak of a future nor meet again. Raizen dreams of a reunion in reincarnation before he dies, but this never happens. There is absolutely no sign that on her side, she was nostalgic about him at all; the story hints at the opposite, in fact: that she may have fully severed attachments to the material world.

Also another thing that I found very compelling is that in the manga, in the Taiwanese edition in any case, Raizen describes her as (paraphrased): "A physically weak, pale, gaunt, ugly woman with the scent of a sorcerer, but I loved the look in her eyes. She was the first person to ever stare at me with such a glare of contempt." LMAO. (I don’t have the original Japanese to compare it to, but IIRC the official English manga translation is extremely watered down on Raizen’s description of her.) But that’s why the first time I ever saw her appear in the anime, where her design is a very conventional Japanese beauty, I was like, "...HUH??" (In the manga, she's not really drawn that ugly either, but it's harder to tell. Her face is usually partly obscured in shadow.) 

In summary, a very, very badass lady. I like her lots.

16) Favorite member of the Sensui 7?

Mitarai Kiyoshi! Again, I still agree with pretty much everything I said in 30 days from a story perspective, so let’s talk about his character design lol. I really like his design! I personally find it so freaking hard to come up with interesting short hairstyles for male characters, and his is a really good one of a style that I have never really seen much anywhere else. I like the colour palette the anime gave him too, lots of yellows with a splash of blue. Also his seiyuu is MATSUMOTO RICAAAAAA

His territory power is pretty cool too, although it’s a good thing he’s not anemic. His first appearance, the rainy night battle with Kuwabara, is a really fantastic one. It’s one of those fights I don’t mention very often BUT I SHOULD because it’s SO WELL-DONE. It opens with this little sequence of Kuwabara and his friends walking in the rain after having their time of their life at a concert and talking about heading out for some karaoke - when Sawamura suddenly disappears. The setup reminds me of rainy night ghost stories, and has a great mood to it. The comic panels for the entire fight have this very memorable, overriding sense of a constant background of rain and night, like a deluge, and the water effects are all rendered so well. There’s a lot of great texture and layering going on too, and the bulk and sense of volume/density of water of Mitarai’s creatures really come through. Whoops, this turned into a comics drawing ramble. BUT YES, MITARAI! I LIKE HIM! lol

20) When was the first time you ever seen this series?

I touch on this a little in 30 days of yu yu - it would've been elementary school, around when the series first came out. We followed along overseas, and my dad would pick up stuff for my sister and me whenever he happened to be travelling around Asia. My sister read me the volumes, we'd get CDs and anime artbooks and things like that. Growing up, my impression of the series was the manga first and foremost, then the Japanese seiyuu because of the image songs and audio dramas. I knew the anime and the movies primarily through screencaps from magazines and the anime compilation books, and Eizou Hakusho on VHS.

It was only in late high school or university that we picked up a bootleg copy of the entire series and I watched it end to end in Japanese for the very first time. Well, almost end to end. We had to take breaks because it was too much. As mentioned in 30 days, the English subtitles were hilariously awful, and "Rei gun" was rendered as "Magic Ball". I was busting a gut and have no idea how my sister and I made it through an episode (or maybe even several) before we gave up and switched to Chinese subtitles. I was never so grateful in my life that Yusuke only has four shots available lmao

@cjjoughin​ Thank you so much for asking!! :D!