#i’m either shaking with rage or just laughing idk why i can’t take this show seriously anymore

[matsubrokq]

watches death note just to see light yagami die

[tyb1]

If It’s The Right Thing To Do (2)

Part 2

Series List

Words: 2849

Character: Seth Clearwater

Dialogue prompt: I nearly jumped out of my skin, I turned around to see an angry Sam walking towards me with murder in his eyes. He grabbed me then began to shake me violently. “Why didn’t you tell anyone (Y/N)! I’ve been searching for you all morning!” 

*idk how to feel about this writing* :(

@anndaydreamer​

I awoke to Seth's body pressed against mine. I haven't felt this feeling in a while and yet it was so comforting. As much as I wanted to stay and wake him up with my morning kisses I couldn't. I needed to be home before Sam got up or else we would be in a warzone.

I tried to unwrap Seth's arms from around my waist but he only held on tighter. "Seth wake up! I have to go."

"No, two more minutes I promise."

I rolled over so I could have a better view of his face. He only placed his head on my chest snuggling deeper into the blankets. These were the moments I missed the most. The days where Seth would stay over while Sam was on patrol and him leaving early in the morning so Sam wouldn't catch him. I'd laugh every time he got caught and Sam would always have to give us "the talk" which made me laugh even harder.

"I miss these moments (Y/N). Sometimes I wish things could go back to normal."

"Me too Seth but now we have to keep our distance for our own safety."

Seth groaned, "I can't keep my distance from you."

"I know it's hard but we have to for now."

Seth lifted his head giving me a long passionate kiss. It was one of those kisses where you got lightheaded and it felt like you were in a trance. "I love you (Y/N)."

"I love you too."

Those were the last words I had said to him before I left. He watched me get dressed and walked me out to the front door. Seth even volunteered to take me out to breakfast but I had to decline for my own sake.

I sat in my car for a few moments before I made my way into the house. The house was spotless; there was so much sign of rage from Sam. Everything was in order from the kitchen all the way to the living room. I found this weird because if the guys were over the whole house would smell like muffins and chicken. It was so strange it almost gave me chills to be in here.

"Where were you last night (Y/N)!"

I nearly jumped out of my skin, I turned around to see an angry Sam walking towards me with murder in his eyes. He grabbed me then began to shake me violently. "Why didn't you tell anyone (Y/N)! I've been searching for you all morning!"

"I didn't tell you because I knew you wouldn't have allowed me to see him!"

Sam scoffed, he still had his firm grip on my arms. I glanced behind him to see Quil and Embry with guilty expressions on their faces. It had finally clicked in my head. Both of them had told Sam where I went off before the sun arose. They knew that I was going to see the Cullens. They just waited it out so they could tell Sam that I was with Seth.

I somehow managed to get out of Sam's grip. I walked up to them violently pointing my finger in their face. "You guys really stabbed me in the back like that!? I would jump in front of a bullet for you and yet you still snitched!"

Embry dropped his head lower and began to kick the pebbles on the ground. I could tell from his gestures that he didn't want any parts in the whole situation. Paul walked into the living room with a smug grin on his face"You're the one who went to sleep with the traitors so who really stabbed who in the back?"

I shot a nasty glare at Paul, I wanted to rip the ugly grin from his face. "Go to hell Paul."

Sam grabbed me again pulling me into the house. He sat me on the couch while he began to pace and forth. I watched as he muttered curse words from his mouth, all I wanted was for Emily to show up and get me out of this mess.

"So...you went to the Cullens just to sleep with Seth?" He leaned against the wall while crossing his legs and arms he reminded me so much of a Dad. I always felt like that was his problem, Sam was always too busy trying to be my dad that he forgets how to act like an older brother.

"No Sam! Jake called me and told me that Seth got hurt so I went over there because of how they screamed on the phone. I thought he was dead!"

"Why would you go over there (Y/N)! You could have been labeled as one of them. I had to convince everyone that you weren't anywhere near them. I tried to tell them that you were at a friend's house but no, you were at the Cullens!"

"For a good reason Sam."

"Just like Jacob, Leah, and Seth! They claim that they're over there for good reasons."

I jumped from my seat but quickly sat back down when the vein in his head began to protrude. I sat there quietly. He was speaking the truth and that was a tough pill to swallow. I snuck out of the house without informing him of my whereabouts. I also went over to the Cullens when he specifically told me not to. Sam had every right to be mad and worried about me.

"I'm sorry."

"You have two choices, you can either obey my rules and respect me or pack your bags and be with the Cullens." He left without saying another word, no eye contact or remorse. Emily appeared from the kitchen whispering "I'm sorry."

Once she left I threw my head into a pillow then screamed. Not once but twice, it seemed like nothing in my life was going accordingly to plan. I heard footsteps enter the room, without looking up I had already known who it was.

"Was the sex even good?"

"Paul go to hell with gasoline underwear!"

I brushed past him making sure that I made contact with his shoulder. I walked upstairs towards my room. I fell on my bed screaming into my pillow. "You have two choices, you can either obey my rules and respect me or pack your bags and be with the Cullens" those words kept ringing throughout my head. I loved Seth. He was my whole world but the pack is my family. You never turn back on your family. Sam taught me that at a young age ever since dad turned his back on us. I had to force myself to go to sleep. I didn't want to hear Sams's wrath anymore. It seemed like nowadays I had to force myself to go to sleep to cope with the pain.

I awoke to someone shoving me against my headboard. I opened my eyes to see Emily standing above me with a phone in her hand. "Is it Santa Claus?"

Emily laughed, "No it's someone by the name of Marie. They said you told them to call."

I gave her a questioning look while taking the phone from her head. The numbers that appeared on the phone nearly made me choke on my saliva. It was the same number that was used to call about Seth. I quickly ushered Emily out of the room so I could confidently speak to "Marie"

"Are you freaking crazy Seth? Are you trying to get me on Sam's bad side again?" I placed my back against the floor before I slid down to the bottom. I could hear him laughing from the other side.

"I swear I'm not but I really want to see you. I really miss you (Y/N)."

My heart began to flutter. I got those butterflies again, I've always hated those things they constantly made me act out of character. "I miss you too Seth but I can't risk it again. Sam would have both of our heads."

"Meet me at LaPush beach. I'm on my way right now."

"What!? Seth, I can't!"

"I'll see you there. I can't wait, I feel like Romeo and you're Juliet."

"You know they both die at the end right?"

"Huh, I forgot about that. Well, we're more like beauty and the beast except for you're the beast, and I'm the beauty."

I started to laugh, it was an actual genuine laugh. I haven't laughed like that since we were all together. I hated the fact that our family was so torn apart. I threw my head on the wall trying to stop myself from crying. I couldn't bring myself to speak another word, if I did I knew I'd end up crying on the phone like I did every night since he left.

"(Y/N)? Are you still there?"

"Yeah, I'll meet you there in 10 minutes." I stood up from the floor while hanging up the phone. The door of my room flew open causing me to nearly crack my head open on my desk. I turned ready to fight the person behind the door only to see Emily standing there.

"Were you listening to my conversation?"

"Yes, but I want to help you. (Y/N) I know how you're feeling right now. Your brother is so invested in the treaty and keeping them away that he hasn't taken your feelings into consideration."

I looked up Emily, at first I didn't want to believe it. She'd always picked Sam's side when we argued not once had she taken my side. I was always close to Leah, I hate to admit it but she was more of an older sister than Sam was an older brother. Now Emily wanted to take over which is completely fine but I look at her more as a mother figure than a sister.

"How can I trust you? You're probably like the rest of them."

"When you guys were arguing today I could tell he was really stressed so I offered him a stress reliever." She began to wink at me. I almost threw up the bile that was in my stomach. As much as I didn't want to believe it Emily actually had my back. He'd be too busy with Emily to think about me.

"You're literally the best!" I wrapped my arms around her giving her a big hug.

"If you want to meet Seth you better go now."

I nodded my head then opened my window. I jumped into the tree then quickly made my way down. There was no way anyone would spot me. Collin and Brady were on watch for the night so that meant I could get away with this. I went to my car cranking it once again. This could be really good or really horrible.

The drive to LaPush was very frightening. I kept looking in the woods to see if someone was watching me. I put all of my faith in Emily, she needed to play her part well in order for the plan to work out smoothly. I couldn't afford to be on Sam's bad side again.

I parked near the trees so no one could notice. In Lapush everyone knew everyone so I had to make sure I kept my guard up. I walked onto the beach looking around for Seth but he was nowhere to be found. "Clearwater," I said in a whispered yell.

"(Y/N) I'm right here!"

I turned to see him standing near the edge of the woods. I ran towards him jumping into his muscular arms. My nose immediately engulfed his hazelnut scent. "I missed you."

"You saw me this morning silly." He wrapped his arms around me making sure to support me as we held one another. There was a comfortable silence between us. Neither of us dared to speak another word.

I playfully smacked him against the head. "That's for calling me a beast earlier."

"Ouch (Y/N), You can't get mad because I'm the beauty and the brains of the relationship." He engulfed me in another hug. I began to squirm when he placed kisses on my cheek.

"Seth stop now your saliva is on my cheek." We both laughed at our antics.

"What a cute reunion!" I shot my head up from Seth's neck to see Paul standing near a tree clapping his hands. Embry, Quil, and Jared soon appeared behind him. They gave Seth a disgusting look as if he just murdered someone.

"This isn't your territory anymore Clearwater," Paul said, he stopped with his childish antics and now was serious. He started to walk closer to us slowly sizing Seth up.

Seth placed me behind him taking guard. 'How did you find us?"

Jared laughed, "Your scent couldn't get past me. We thought it was one of those bloodsuckers on our territory. Luckily it was only you and (Y/N)."

I stepped in front of Seth glaring at them. I had never back down to them and today would not be the first. "Just leave us alone. You guys are always ruining something."

Jared and Paul ignored me, their only focus was Seth. "You know what we do to traitors right? We rip them into shreds, ask the Cullens, one inch away from being one with the ground."

Seth scoffed, "You don't scare me, Paul."

The tension in the air grew, I knew deep down that there wasn't going to be a good outcome. Someone was going to get hurt tonight and it wasn't Paul or Jared. Seth had a target on his head and Paul being the hot head that he was wanted to take that target down.

"Mommy isn't here to stop me now Seth." Paul walked even closer to us.

"Paul we should just scare them. Now let's not take things to the extreme." Jared tried to stop him but at the same time, he didn't want to be caught in Paul's wrath.

"Jared, he's a threat to us now, he could go back and tell those bloodsuckers everything." Paul pulled me to the side out of his way then pushed Seth roughly, "Now do something Clearwater."

He winced, that was a red flag in my eyes. Seth still wasn't healed from yesterday, he was still sore. Seth wasn't here to fight he wasn't a fighter he was a lover and yet Paul was still here nagging him.

"Come on Paul just leave us alone. He'll leave!" I jumped in front of Seth once more so Paul wouldn't push him again. This time he pushed me hard into a tree. It knocked the breath out of me, I fell to my knees gasping for air. Seth caught me in time before my head hit the ground.

"(Y/N)! Are you okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine" I actually wasn't fine. My back was killing me. I didn't want to say anything to trigger Seth into phasing. If he phased right now he could pose a threat and that could give Paul the green light to kill him.

"You're not fine. There's blood on my hands and it isn't mine." I reached back to my back and there was a minor cut which caused a lot of blood. Seth glared at Paul, his body began to shake violently. I reached up to caress his cheek. I even tried to turn his head in my direction so he could look into my eyes.

"Seth calm down it's okay I swear." Before I could stop him he phased in front of me and so did Paul. I always hated when Seth would phase. He wasn't a person to just get angry out of the blue, you had to push him there and that's exactly what Paul did.

Jared held up his fist motioning for no one to interfere. Paul and Seth's life was on the line and they weren't doing anything about it. They were trying to rip one another's head off. There was a difference between when they'd fight on the reserve and right now.

"Are you guys crazy!? You're just going to let them fight to the death!?"

"Go stop them (Y/N)."

It was already too late; they were too deep into the woods. There was only one way to stop them and I knew this person would have my ass. I ran from the woods to my car, I needed to get to Sam before one of them got hurt. I sped down the road back to the house as fast as my car could take me. My back was aching and my head was throbbing from the impact. The reserve wasn't that far all I needed to do was make it back home without killing myself.

I jumped out of my car as fast as I could. I left the car running not bothering to cut it off. The front door was locked so I had to make my way to the back. I ran to Sam's door and tried to open it. It was locked so I started to bang on it.

"Sam! He's going to kill him! Please Sam he's going to fucking kill him." I began to sob everything started to hit me at once. I started to punch, kick, and even scream at the door anything to get Sam's attention.

[white-tulips]

I spent most of this morning continuing playing through the hikikomori route, more of my thoughts below!! (major spoilers ahead!!!!!)

if you haven’t but want to read my first post on my hikikomori playthrough, you can see it [here]!! it’s been a month since I last played any, aha...

I played for quite a few hours earlier but I don’t think I really progressed all that much aha. most of my time went towards grinding and wandering around and seeing little things. oh, and also playing through Orange Oasis. I never actually did that in my first run of the game. it was okay.

I really love how many little details and things to go back to that there are, but I’m still a little bitter at just. how long everything is. I talked about this a lot in my previous post, but it irritates me that the first 15-20 hours (give or take depending on how fast you’re able to blast through this game) is just. exactly the same as what you experience in the main route. especially since now my hikikomori save file is even longer than my main story file, and I think I still have a decent ways to go until I finish. I don’t actually know! I haven’t been spoiled for this route, thankfully, so I don’t really know how much is left. I have a vague idea of a couple areas I need to go to, but that’s about it.

ok, on to my thoughts!! this post is probably just going to be me rambling about tiny details I found interesting since I didn’t progress through much plot stuff, I think.

when I opened up my save file, I. completely forgot what I had been doing a month ago and what I wanted to do next, so I decided to go back to the Last Resort. I don’t know what compelled me to go, but there was a lot of fun stuff there so I’m glad that I did!

I had never tried to use Aubrey to go into the girls’ bathroom before? it was very cute, I liked it. I don’t know why, but as soon as I walked in it really reminded me of Basil. I think it’s all the flowers, photos hanging from the wall, and general soft cutesy vibe. I’m not really sure what to make of that, but it was just my general impression. hmmmm.

I have no words for this other than it just made me amused. go get your vacation, king.

also:

I didn’t know Hero had a confirmed age!! all this time I had been assuming he and Mari were 16 years old, so it’s nice to have something set in stone!

I have no words for these, either. seeing all of the Hero pictures just made me laugh out loud a little I loved it.

when I was standing in Jawsum’s office, I noticed that the elevator behind his desk was shaking. I went to examine it, and was surprised when this was where I ended up.

the black space elevator.

something I completely forgot to mention in my last hikikomori post was black space!! it had completely took me by surprise so I can’t believe I forgot to talk about it.

last time I played and went back to Last Resort, there was a completely black car on the highway and it had really freaked me out. as soon as I clicked on it, instead of giving me some kind of prompt Omori just got in and it drove off. I was so shocked because I wasn’t expecting it fhgjdfhgj. it ended up taking Omori back to one of the black space rooms, and I had no clue what to make of it. I wandered around for a little while, and ended up finding this... friend?

I’m... not sure! who are you......

anyways, so I got in the elevator and we’re back here, now with more spiders.

the spider wasn’t interactable. not sure whether to be upset or relieved.

aaaand then there was this guy in the treehouse. I want to know what these black space NPCs are!!! as soon as I tried to interact with it, the screen glitched out (intentionally) and then it was gone. one day I’ll know what it means.

oh, another thing I spent quite a bit of time doing at the Last Resort-

getting statues made of everyone!! RIP to all of my clams, but these are so cute.

cuuute.

I really liked the comment on Mari’s! it made me happy that it highlighted her playful side.

after I was done reexploring Last Resort, I wanted to go back to Sweetheart’s castle. I was walking through Pyrefly Forest, and I noticed one of the picnic blankets had a cooler open (signaling that you can see a new picnic cutscene) so I went to go sit down and have a picnic.

so, when I was going around earlier and doing some stuff, there were a few picnics that I think I had skipped for some reason so I was doing them and mindlessly skipping through the text for no reason other than it would bother be if I just left them. nothing about the conversations was different even though Basil is here now, so I didn’t think anything would be different for the one in Pyrefly Forest, but I was wrong!! I almost completely skipped through everything aha.

it started off the same, with Hero being scared of the spiders, and then Kel prompted Basil to say something positive to try and make him less scared.

it’s pretty insignificant, but I thought it was interesting that he said pretty much the exact same thing he says in the spider room in black space.

when I got to the castle, I went straight to the library. something about the pattern of going to black space, plus being able to go into the barn in Otherworld, just made me feel like there would be something there. and oh boy was I right. the entire place was crawling with Something.

very good.....

I wasn’t able to get screenshots of them, but there were a couple text popups that really stood out to me. my memory is so bad I can’t remember all of them even though it was only this morning,,, but I’m pretty sure one of them had a popup that was just “Liar.” and I was like HM....

it just really had me thinking....

in my previous post, I mentioned that I had a gut feeling that the Something in the barn was supposed to represent Basil, not Mari. this kind of added fuel to that thought!

the barn in Otherworld was only used in the main route in reference to Basil, with it literally showing Omori a vision of him, and also having Stranger walking into it. now, the library also has a lot of connection to Basil! after picking up one of the keys, it shows us another vision of him, and it’s also littered with egret orchids. I don’t think choosing to have all of these Somethings in both of these places is just a coincidence.

now, about the “Liar.” line. in any fight with Something, if there’s a text popup meant to be Something speaking, it’s always done like this-

with the “???:” to indicate character speech. but the “Liar.” popup was just a standalone line. and it instantly reminded me of this room in black space-

and this just kept making my brain whirl.

in this room, there were all of these popups with “Liar.” and then of course there was-

see here how there also weren’t indications of who was saying ‘liar”, but there was for Something? my idea for this room was always that it was Omori repeating it to himself. because we all know by now that Something is Mari, and her saying “I love you”, especially in this form, is nothing but pure torment. and I think here, we have Omori unwilling to believe it. there’s no way Mari could love him/Sunny. she has to be lying.

soooo then, this brings me back to the library. having the “Liar.” popup there, keeping in consideration that the Somethings there might represent Basil, what could that mean?? it could be in reference to Basil’s words “Everything is going to be okay” because clearly everything is not okay. if all of these Somethings are meant to be Basil, it could fit!!!

... so there’s my long winded theory. idk! I think it makes sense, but I could be wrong!! that’s just my first impressions right now, maybe my thoughts will change when I play more!

moving onto the piano room-

this was when I thought “ohhhh so that’s why the wall always felt hallow. it all makes sense now”

and then I spent the next 30 or so minutes fighting all of the Somethings

I LOVED this. this was the first time a fight was put on a time limit, and since Something was so much more powerful, it felt actually stressful. I was stressed! but I managed to make it with 2-3 turns left, and I didn’t die. I did die about 1 or 2 times to arachnophobia and thalassophobia though F. but it’s okay because I got an achievement and also Omori’s suffocate skill is really good.

anyways I did some more mindless walking around (I had to kill time waiting for all my statues to be built, you know!)

this made me really happy. Big Molio I love you you’re the mvp and you deserve the world.

... looking through my screenshots I wish I could forget this one-

,, do I need to even explain it.

I remember a while ago, I saw someone on twitter post this and iirc the caption was something like “isn’t it a bit morbid to have the jumprope there” and, at the time, I had never gone through Orange Oasis, so seeing that tweet I had the wind knocked out of me. I was just sitting there like “fuuuuuuuuck”. and then I went through Orange Oasis today, saw it again, went “fuuuuuuuuck” and then forgot I screenshot it. it’s just a lot.

okay who knows how I filled the rest of the 6 hours I played because I didn’t take many screenshots of the downtime and running around completing sidequests I never did. the last point of interest today was I had went back to Humphrey.

I didn’t do too much, but I did fight Mutantheart.

I adore her!!!! so cute!!! Mutantheart my beloved.

I lost to her once, because I was a bit confused, but once I caught on to the gimmick of her fight, it was actually pretty easy. rest in peace, queen, I love you...

and then, uh. Her-

I tried 3 times. I didn’t win... all of the characters are maxed leveled at 50, but this is so difficult... well, the first half of the fight I found to be pretty easy, actually. but once she switches into full power mode it’s over. I don’t know how I’m supposed to win. farewell my dream of completing the foe facts book, it was a nice goal while it was realistic. 

and then I stopped for the day! I think I needed that month of not playing, because coming back into the game after a lot of my rage and burnout settled was probably best, and I had a lot of fun playing! hopefully it doesn’t take me another month to continue.

if you made it all the way through this post, thank you for reading! I hope you like my thoughts~

I’ll leave on this note-

king shit

[withoneheadlight]

life has been a bit crazy for me so I haven’t been around but I’m glad to see that the upside down kiss fic is circulating back around bc it lives rent free in my mind constantly and I am whORE KNEE 😩

nsfw! anon

(I hope you’ve seen well I miss u :((( )

NSFW!ANON I'M SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU I MISS YOUUUUUU!!!!! Holy shit this is the nicest surprise!!!!!! 💖💖💖🌟💖🌟💖🌟💖🌟💖 Wish your life were at least a bit less crazy :(. Mine's been a bit crazy too. Weird and busy. Haven't been letting me much time for fandom and i miss it so, SO FUCKING much. 

And <3<3<3, haha yep! i’ve got a soft spot for that fic too bc i had so much fun writing it, and it’s even funnier on my mind idk xD. i’m so happy people likes it. Those gifs are like a harringrove inspiration charm i swear! Maybe you’ve already seen it but @warheadache added this amazing ar to it and 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉.

also!! i know it doesn’t look like it but i’ve got a couple things for you on the works and i’m closer to finish them!! at my snail pace but yk, 

a few excerpts bc i want to give them to you so baaaaaadddDDDDDD:

(I'm sure you'll recognize the working titles :P)

| n s f w ahead |

~

| boots |

And it’s been more than three years. More than three years of holes on his body and holes on his veins and stitches and tubes and pills and pain under every scar and unsteady steps and pulling together a pile of dirty rubble. More than one of Steve, Steve, Steve. Of coming back in busts and flickers. Enough gasoline left to light a spark. Too empty still to start a fire.

Except―

He’s going through his old stuff, one day. Cold outside. Late January. Chill fogging the windows. Daylight pouring to the edges of the sky like red-hot steel on the other side.

Billy’s on the floor. The contents of the two plastic bags collecting dust at the bottom of his closet since he moved in here now scattered all around. Cassettes and crumpled papers and tampered books and stupid memorabilia and. His old tight jeans. His leather jackets. His light-blue denim one, with the blood-red goodbye kiss of somebody whose cheek he remembers touching, whose face he can’t remember anymore.

And Billy doesn’t hear him coming, but one moment he’s not, the next Steve’s crouching by his side, leaning against him, too lightly for it to be in need of balance.

“God, Hargrove” he huffs, picks Billy’s favorite shirt out of the pile “Am I remembering this one right?”

Billy bites in a smile. Swallows down some bitterness.

“You are”

Steve nods, mouth twisting into a grin, a brow rising. Glances down at what Billy’s holding (on to) between his hands.

“And oooh. Those boots”

Still dirty. More dark brownish than black. One of the few things he got back from the hospital. His pendant being the only one he ever put back on.

“Yeah”

“Thinking ‘bout using any of these again?” Steve gives the shirt a light shake, the dark-red fabric dragging on the wooden floor.

Last time Billy wore it, he burned hole in it. A stray ember fell from his joint, right under the left pocket. Tiny enough to pass mostly unseen but―

For a closer look, it was ruined.

Two days later, the Mind-Flyer dragged him into the basement of Brimborn Steel Works.

Billy digs his fingers into the dry leather before they can start shaking.

“I don’t―” Takes in a big gulp of air “―know. Don’t know if they’ll fit anymore” It feels like nothing.

Because, he doesn’t mean only his body. Means it all. Because he’s alivealivealive, like some kind of inevitability. Alive like a form of inertia.

Alive because that’s all he had left. Got’s left. The only thing he could. Can. Do.

But,

But

“Uhmm” Steve exhales. Looks right into his eyes and it feels like he’s looking deeper. And it’s not the first time, not the first time Billy wonders, how much he knows, and how he knows it. Wonders what he might be seeing, what his instinct might be saying for him to―lower down his voice, eat away almost every single one of the scarce millimeters keeping their mouths from touching “Maybe the boots, then” his hair tickling Billy as it falls over his forehead, the feeling of it so intimate it seems illicit “Only, the boots”.

And those words. Those words. Taste like gasoline on Billy’s mouth, make the flame almost catch. Hot. As they feel over the rabbiting pulse of his jugular. Ad there shouldn’t be any empty space left between them when Steve moves even closer, his lips brushing a path of raw tenderness over Billy’s cheek, trailing sideways, air turning flammable and unstable, unbreathable when he says, “You’d look―” Voice hoarse. Shaky. Breath warm down the curve of Billy’s neck. Fingertips burning as a branding mark over his solar plexus “Hot as fuck”

Trading a grenade for Billy’s fast-beating heart.

And then― he’s getting up. Going away. Closing the door behind him. Leaving Billy one pull away from the detonation.

And Billy.

It’s been more than year since he moved. More than a year of SteveSteveSteve. Of coming back in busts and flickers. Enough gasoline left to light a spark. Too empty still to start a fire.

But Billy wants it, this kind of inevitability. Not inertia. No survival. Not that something living doesn’t really feels like. He wants Steve to release that bomb he just dropped inside of his body. Left Billy unmade. Shape him back together with his own two hands.

So he gets up. Wired-up and breathless. Anticipation beading on the surface of his skin. Thinks about of all those times alive felt like something reachable. That almost-touch sensation. Static singing on his fingertips: loving arms closing around his ocean-cold skin. The rumbling of the sea caught up on the shell of his ribcage. Max's crazy laugh like a hammer to his bones. The Camaro cooking the soles of his feet, speed making his head spin through a wormhole and out into the infinite. His knuckles cracking against the skin of another, finding bone. The metallic tang of blood flooding down the back of his tongue.

Love and fire and rage and―

He takes all his clothes off. They don’t feel like they fit, either. Socks. Sweats. Hoodie. T-Shirt. Takes a deep breath when the pendant bumps against the naked skin of his chest.

Puts his boots on.

Does the only thing he’s ever known.

“Steve!” he shouts. Pulse spiking up fast. Trying to beat a way out of his body “Can you come back in here?”

Skyrocketing, when Steve shouts back.

“Going!”

And then is the door clicking open. Billy’s lungs freezing in the middle of a breath. Steve’s eyes looking almost black as they catch the shadows. Sun falling down the reality of the other side.

And in a darkness like that, it’s only them what remains. Them, and the way they are looking at each other.

And Billy feels alive. Like falling. Feet slippin’ on the razor’s edge.

"Billy" breathes out Steve. Shoulder perched on the frame. Fingers tightening around the handle "Fuck, Billy I―"

“Yeah?”

Alive. Like a form of gravity when―

Steve comes forward. To him. Careful. Careful. Footsteps creaking on the wooden floor. Lashes falling down as his eyes drift. Swallows. Comes closer and closer still.

And then.

Their chest are brushing and their hands are almost touching and it's not even an inch but Billy has to look up even with his stupid boots on and,

“You said―”

Steve breathes in. Cuts Billy’s breath off his lungs.

Between them, there’s no room for anything that’s not the way they’re not touching.

“I know what I said”

The air, sparks, sizzles, becomes the memory of a thunderstorm and. The tips of Steve’s fingers make his hairs stand on end. High voltage. Spark over the inside of his wrist. The faded blue of his veins. And Billy shivers. Feels like that second of stasis before the rupture. Static calm and then― the ocean breaks.

And then Steve says,

“I wanna see it. That fire in you” and his fingers tickle across the hidden tenderness on the inside Billy’s elbow. Nails grazing their way up to his shoulder, detouring to contour the crest of his clavicle, slide down the trough, spreading as they follow the shape of Billy’s neck, thumb fitting into the corner of his lips and “C’mon.” smiling, smiling. Eyes creasing at the sides, lashes catching the few last strings of light. Wicked and sweet and devastating “Show me who’s that Billy Hargrove everybody's been telling me so much about”

~

| stick | tw: object insertion |

It’s thrilling, this secret, depraved game they play. Feels like it's forbidden. Leaves a sweet, honey-thick aftertaste.

And Billy is so. So curious. Can’t stop asking Steve to tell him “How it feels babe. I want to know how good it feels. God you look like it's hitting you just right” and Steve tells him. Steve fucks himself down into whatever thing Billy is holding for him, never touching himself until he’s almost there, wanting to ride that sole sensation right up until the very end. Shivering. Shaking. Breaking a sweat. The words coming ragged out of his open mouth. “Cold” or “Weird” or “Like. Too much–ah. Too much” and “Soft, God, Billy so soft” and–

“Why don’t you try it yourself?”

And Billy its so, so curious.

Billy does.

Rails himself for Steve to watch, slicked up with lube and dripping. With a rolling pin. A cucumber. Almost a whole box of wooden colored pencils, stuffed inside his ass one by one. With “ohgodgodgod”  the handle of Steve’s fucking nailed bat. Lets Steve holds whatever thing he chooses for him “C’mon, babe. C’mon. Treat it good. Swallow it as deep as you can. Take it like you would take my cock”

And life in Hawkins gets boring after the first, second, fourth, seventh yearly round. Steve takes that office work. Billy gets a permanent spot in the garage. If he gets real lucky, somebody takes him an interesting car from time to time. But sometimes Steve looks at Billy with dark, liquid eyes. Says “Ok enough”. His voice harsh. Rasped. Losing balance at the edge of what he’s able to restrain himself. Sounding as if he’s jealous of those things jamming the insides if Billy’s ass. Takes out Billy’s been writhing around. Fucks him hard. Fuck him deep. Fucks him so good there are tears in Billy’s eyes by the time he comes. Fallen apart and sobbing.

&

Steve’s driving. One hand on the wheel. One hand on the shift. The cool air of the night coming in shorts through the rolled-down window. On the radio, Ted Nugent’s making his guitar whine, the strings arching into the touch of his fingertips, asking for more more more, ‘Here I come again now baby. Like a dog in heat’

Steve’s long fingers flex over the knob, winter-cold white under reddened knuckles. He shifts from third to fourth with a smooth press and lets go of the clutch, and the Camaro sighs, settles. Steve makes her calm. Steve tames her. Where Billy makes her growl and kick Steve drives her like a lover, whispers to her with all his body I’m gonna fuck you so slow. We got all night, baby. Steve treats her right. Runs those fingers up and down the metallic rod of the shift and Billy gets hard. One second from zero to sixty.

His cock pulses, pulses. Fills up whole. The sudden rush of heat traveling up, up. Presses against the walls of his throat. Billy wants to feel the head of Steve’s cock against his bell. Wants Steve to make him choke on him.

Steve brakes. Clutches. Reduces. The Camaro moans, needy. Steve soothes her, caresses it with a soft brush of his thumb along the speed patter Shh, baby sshhh. Just hold a little bit longer. I promise I will let you come.

Billy feels himself twitch, spit out precum. The inside of his pants feels damp, appetizing. He lets his hips slide, rock.

The knob is real leather. Silver pattern ingrained over black. Seams carefully sew out on the surface as a touch of style.

Billy replaced it a few months ago, the old one too damaged by use. Worn out.

This one curves slightly forward.

It would hit just right.

Steve's eyes are alight, framed in the light reflected from the rearview mirror, a dramatic take out of an old Noir.

Except the brown shines full color. Alive.

Billy puts his hand over Steve’s on the knob, spreads his fingers around his.

Grips him hard.

“Hey, babe. Have you ever thought about it?”

“Mmm? About what?”

“About riding my car”

Steve huffs. Chuckles.

“I am driving your car”

“Yeah” Billy caresses the side of Steve’s hand with his thumb, a lagged reflection of his gesture. Thinks about how pretty Steve’s lips would look around that leather, mouth open wide “Don’t mean it like that”

&

Billy has to take a deep, shaky breath, thinking it's a miracle they ever get as far as they plan, that Steve Harrington's mere existence doesn't make him come just by looking at him.

Not all their games get to the finish line. But this, God, Billy wants this one to.

"Ah-ah" he shakes his head, smirks, keeps the stakes high "But if you hop on I'll let you eat my mouth"

“Mmmm. I don’t know”

Steve twists his lips, considering, looks like he’s willing to take his sweet time deciding, staying just like this, idly rocking on his lap, keeping Billy hooked in this scarce feeling, this almost kissing between their cocks.

And Billy––Uff. Billy it’s too revved-up, can’t take it any fucking second more.

Grabs Steve’s asscheeks. Lifts him up.

“Billy what the—ohfuck” It doesn't go in. ‘Course it doesn’t. When Billy lets Steve’s weight drop just a slight bit. It bumps. Slips. Wet and obscene. Rips a breathless thing of a sound out of his throat. But then Steve’s arms wrap around his neck. Bracing himself so Billy can take a hold of it, line himself up. And then yeah yeah. He barely has to rub the head against Steve’s slippery hole and his cock slides in. Eaaasy. All the way. Into Steve’s warmth. Tight. Tight. Tight. And–

“Ohfuck. OhfuckOh”

The air coming in from the window is cool, bristling, but it feels like nothing when Steve lets out a chocked cry. Fucks himself. Fast. Rough. Face buried into the crook of Billy’s neck. Breath blooming hot, hot. Teeth on his pulse.

“Shhhh, baby, shhh” Billy takes his face between his hands, pushes him carefully backwards. Waits ‘till Steve’s eyes slowly find focus on his, still rocking, still― “Hey. You gotta stop. You hear me?” Steve takes a deep breath, exhales long and shaky. It takes all of him to slow down, Billy knows, but he does. Thighs twitching. Cock weeping. Smearing over Billy’s belly where his t-shit has hitched up.

Billy brushes his hair back from his forehead. Tangled and damp and gorgeous.

Kisses him light and sweet.

“We’re close, baby. We’re really, really close. But you gotta stop so I can open you up real good ok?”

Steve nods, eyes glossy, lips bitten and Billy feels overwhelmed, feels like burning under the hard sun. They’re both hanging by the thinnest of threads, Billy can feel it, can see it in the blown-out dark of Steve’s eyes. They’re riding pleasure at point break, time holding its breath for them. This is his favorite part of the game. A little too much, just a little too much. ‘Till one of them loses it. ‘Till one of them melts on the other’s hands. Hard and thick.

And God, Billy has never been one not to push his luck.

He takes two fingers up to Steve’s lips, runs the tips over the tender skin inside. Thinks about how they don’t look bitten enough, swollen enough. About how he’s gonna have to fix that.

“I’m gonna put these two inside. Will you get them ready for me?” Steve’s Smile twitches up, canines showing. It’s a two-men-con. But they play as much against the other as they play together. So Steve swallows both fingers. All the way in one go. Eyes falling shut. Eats them wet and messy. Deepthroats. Rumbles. Ass clenching, pulsing around Billy’s cock. And Billy is only a short breath of self-control away from spending himself inside him like a fucking rookie.

It’s boring, small-town life, really. Except–

“Good boy,” he says, making his fingers pop out of Steve’s mouth, satisfaction tastier than honey at the mean glare it grants him. But it softens, that glare, Steve’s eyelids flutter, open-mouthed and blissed, when Billy brushes the head of his cock with his knuckles, haft teasing, half relieving, keeping Steve in the tightrope with him.

“I’m getting a bit impatient in here, Hargrove” he says, only managing to make his voice sound half annoyed about it. Bit Billy is too, impatient. So drags his fingers down, pads tracing the taut shape of Steve’s cock, his balls, and down. Presses. Softly. Rubs the stretched-out flesh of his hole. Dips just the tips. Press. Press. And–

“AhfuckBilly–Ah.Mmmmh”

It’s tight. Steve’s ass clenches around him, squeezes him in. It’s a heady feeling, having him like this, senses overrunning. He’s intoxicated. High on the painful scratch of Steve’s nails when he grabs his jaw to kiss him open-mouthed and harsh. The helpless way he chokes off a sob when Billy makes his fingers curl, rubs him good and,

“I’m ready, Billy. I’m ready. BillyBillyplease. I can’t take it anymore. Please, baby. I’m ready” he’s gasping, breathless, barely taking in the heated up air they share.

“Hey. C’mon. C’mon. Just a little more, ok?. A little more and I’ll let you swallow it all in. That knob. All the way down your ass. No space left for anything else" he licks the words all along Steve’s neck, his ear. Rubs his lips over the damp roots of his hair. Cock pushing. Fingers working. When Steve sits on the stick. Billy wants him right over the edge “Gonna cum so hard you’re gonna be begging me to let you ride her again”

~

yup! hope you like them! i really really REALLY want to finish them for you.

Fingers crossed I get to see you again soon my dear nsfw!anon 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

[felidlycanthrope]

Bergamot and Campfires

zuko x reader

teeth rotting fluffy fluff (angst if you squint? idk)

a lot of the time my writing is how I cope with my panic attacks in the middle of the night- that’s why a lot of the content is either soft or super soft lol

also my boi zuko deserves a break from being put through the ringer sometimes lbr

Today was not the day to cross me. It had started when I’d spilled the last of my favorite tea blend only minutes after I woke up. I tripped over a small bundle of food that Katara had left behind as she went about cooking breakfast further toward the center of our campsite.

But I clenched my jaw and stalked off to find something to wash it with. Though it probably wouldn’t stain, I hated the feeling of the sticky sweetness that was often left behind by its leaves.

~

Luckily, there was a river nearby. Though barely a trickle of water, it would have to do if I wasn’t to reek of bergamot for the next few days before we moved the campsite again.

I let my shirt fall over my shoulders before a rustle in the trees alerted me to the presence of someone else. I whipped my dagger out of my boot and wielded it against the sound- a badgerfrog who croaked at me questioningly before hopping into the small stream. I let out a sigh of relief before resheathing my blade. I pulled my shirt off further, and shoved it into the water. I scrubbed at the now-dried area, letting my anger scrub its scent out of the fabric.

~

I returned to the campsite with a soaking wet shirt, only to find Sokka furiously stitching my tent.

“What did you do?” I know it sounded accusatory, but to be honest most of the wear and tear of our gear came from overzealous training or discussions.

“I was just…I didn’t see…I threw Boomerang too hard and it came back at a different angle than I thought it would,” he blurted. He shrunk down before showing me the needle. “I don’t think it’ll be pretty but…I’m sorry.”

I wanted to scream at him until my voice went hoarse, but he was probably just as stressed as I was. Instead, I called out: “Zuko, you’re better at sewing than dumb-dumb over here. Can you fix it?”

He opened an eye from underneath the shade of the tree above him. “Fix what?”

I gestured to both the tent and surrounding idiot. “Fix this.”

“I can fix the tent. Can’t fix him.”

“Whatever works,” I replied with a venom I didn’t intend. I didn’t want to say something I would regret, so I walked into the woods behind the site as quickly as I could until I was out of earshot.

~

Soon night fell, and I had to get back to the group before anyone got worried. We had enough to be nervous about- I wouldn’t want to worry anyone even more.

The flicker of the fire served as my beacon. Even though I loved them, none of the original five of us could make a raging fire to save our lives. It was always a flicker here or a flicker there, never a warm wind on our faces.

Though the fire raged, the only person left by its light was Zuko. He sat perched on a rock nearby. Just far enough that he wouldn’t smell of burning wood, but close enough to feel its warmth.

I sat down beside him, the cool moss underneath my feet soothed the ache from walking around the woods all day.

Before I could process it, tears began to stream down my face. I tried to sniffle quietly, but it wasn’t long before Zuko broke the silence that hummed in the air.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He shifted closer to me, nudging his knee against my own. He lifted my chin with a whisper of a touch, pressed a kiss to my forehead. Golden irises, alight with the flickering flames of the now raging fire, scanned my own. I knew he was searching for an answer that I didn’t even know myself at this point.  

I shook my head, burying my face in his freshly washed shirt. He wrapped me in his arms, pressing a hand to the back of my head.

The echo of the crackling fire bounced off the walls of the ravine. He sat with me for…well, I don’t even know how long before the frog in my throat found its way into the world. “It feels hopeless sometimes,” I murmured. He gently pushed me backward, taking my face in his hands as he wiped away the streaks of tears. “Every time we find some small victory, or small moment of happiness, there’s someone new who wants to destroy everything and everyone. And I don’t understand it. And because I don’t understand it I feel like I’m useless. Like every part of this team has its purpose-except me. I don’t know where I belong anymore, or who to trust, or who to listen to.”

“You’re not useless,” he stated quickly. “I don’t know who would be able to keep us all from killing each other on any given day.” He crossed his legs, clearly settling in for the long haul. “I know it feels like a lot right now. I know this isn’t going to fix everything, but just know that you’re allowed to be overwhelmed. We’re all feeling it.”

“I just…” The rest of my answer couldn’t find its way out of my throat.

“You don’t have to respond,” he declared quickly. “You should probably head in for the night. I’ll stay until you fall asleep.”

I nodded silently, watching intently as he stood. He offered me one hand, then quickly the other. I gladly took both, standing on still-shaking knees. He let go of my left hand, but held the right more firmly. He led me to my freshly re-stitched tent. Even though it looked absolutely terrible- like he’d gone around the tear hundreds of times before finally getting everything in one piece. I ran my fingers over it, admiring its imperfection.

I let the weight of my body fall into the comfort of my sleeping bag. I stared at the ceiling, listening to the crickets for a moment before the crunch of dirt underfoot broke the silence. He sat in the corner, cross-legged, leaning back onto a patch of moss. I turned on my side before sliding under the covers and patting beside me. “Don’t be stupid,” I laughed.

“Well, I didn’t know,” he muttered, obliging quickly. “I didn’t wanna make you uncomfortable.”

“Don’t be stupid,” I replied again. I laid my head on the palm of my hand, and wrapped an arm over his chest.

A soft snort shook his chest before he took his hand in mine. “Go to sleep,” he laughed.

“I know, I know,” I responded. The crickets grew louder as a silence fell over us. “Good night.”

“Good night, beautiful.”

[palbabor-writes]

dude uh so like dabi but as a father... like he would never but like no one day he gets left with this kid and he's not gonna abandon it bc he cant idk i just want to see dabi as a parental unit trying not to be a bad parent

lol, ppl ask me asks and i respond with a feature freaking film worth of words.  (//▽//) warnings: adult language, angst, mild spoilers for current manga chapters: 290 - 291

words: 3915 

notes: I answered this a little differently. It’s more of a longing for what could have been, rather than a kid of his own sort of thing. But, Dabi does his best damn it. Also, yeah, yeah, it’s another Greek title. I cannot be STOPPED. but i prolly should be. Not beta edited, so all mistakes are mine, and mine alone.

Pónos 

ponos /ˈpoʊˌnɒs/ or ponus /ˈpoʊnəs/ noun  Ancient Greek: Πόνος Pónos  the personification of hardship and toil

There’s a loud clattering noise that’s echoing along the polished floors and walls of the Meta Liberation Army’s base. 

Dabi hates these long hallways. They remind him of some kinda tomb, with all that reverberation and all those gleaming surfaces. They’re perfect for elongating and stretching voices and sounds. 

So whatever the fuck that racket is, it’s not like he’s going to be able to avoid it. He’d need to turn around to do that and he’s not about to fucking turn heel and retrace his steps. Besides, it would take him twice as long to go the other way. Nah, this path is easier, despite the looming annoyance of the commotion.

 He rounds a corner and catches sight of a young woman. 

She’s struggling with something as she reaches into her shoulder bag, and her back twists awkwardly as she leans both forward and sideways. Dabi can’t get a good look at her from here. But, he reasons, he also doesn’t care enough to bother with a second, closer, glance. Nope, all he’s gotta do is slip past her and he can be on his way. 

“Reo-- Reo! Please keep still. I need to get to my phone…” The woman’s voice sounds strained and that odd pattering noise that he’s been hearing since he stepped toward this hallway hasn’t stopped either. If anything, it’s worse. Is it her quirk? Is there somebody behind her? Does she have one of those remote talking devices? Like that the ones that the Doc gave to the League before all this fucking cult bullshit started. What-

Dabi’s thoughts wander to a screeching halt as a boy bumps into his shins. He blinks at the sensation and stutters to a stop, his eyes glinting at the small form. The kid, who looks about four or five, stumbles backwards and cranes his head, looking up at this new discovery he’s run into. 

The boy studies him and, for a brief moment, Dabi worries that his face might spook the kid bad enough to send him into a sobbing and crying fit. Dabi’s not exactly the easiest thing to look at now. But, the kid seems ok with gawping at him, his violet eyes goggled and wondering. 

“Reo-” the boy’s mother repeats, replacing her phone and scanning the hallway for her rogue offspring. “I--Uh, there you are! I’m sorry...Oh, you’re one of those new generals. I’m afraid I don’t remember your name. Ooh, oh my gosh, now that you’re here, would you mind watching him for a moment? I’ve gotta run something back to Skeptic…”

That woman is saying something but Dabi’s too involved in his strange standoff with the boy. Neither he, nor the kid, seem to have the wherewithal to pull their gazes away. No, they both just watch each other, the former maintaining his aloof scowl and the latter is putting on an amazing show of raw fascination. 

“So, just don’t let him get up to too much trouble and I’ll be right back. Won’t be more than a minute.”  

Huh?

Dabi whips his head up, suddenly realizing what’s being asked of him. Like fuck he’s gonna watch this kid. Wait...where did she go?

He twists and turns, his cerulean eyes flashing up and down the sterile hallway, but there’s no sign of her. What the hell? How can someone dematerialize that quickly? He didn’t even say yes, for fucks sake. What a negligent, irresponsible parent she is, to just leave her kid like this with a complete stranger. Pfft, stranger feels a bit weak, honestly. Nah, Dabi’s a walking, talking freakshow. Nothing about him looks safe or dependable. There’s a pull on his dark pants and he automatically shakes his leg against the sensation, agitated. What now? 

Ah.

Junior is blinking up at him, those chubby hands wrinkling the rough fabric between his tiny digits. “Hi,” he beams, his pearly baby teeth straight and gleaming, “I’m Reo!”

“Yeah,” Dabi scoffs, knocking the kid’s hands away. “I heard. Where did your, er, mom go?”

“What’s your name?” Reo prattles, following Dabi as he skulks a little ways down the hallway, his brow furrowed and shoulders tense. Now what is he going to do? He could leave, tell the kid to stay put and go about his business. He doesn’t have time for this, after all.

“Hey!” Reo calls and Dabi turns at the slightly frantic note in the child’s voice, his eyes sharp. 

“Whadda’ want kid? I’m trying to find your mom.” 

“I said my name is Reo-”

“And I said I heard you. Tch, you’re so loud there’s no way half of the building didn’t hear you,” Dabi snaps, looming over the little boy, his mouth pressing into a deep frown. 

“I told you my name, so..so now you gotta tell me yours,” Reo scolds, those violet eyes shining. Dabi can see that the kid’s tiny frustration is rising at the thought of some adult being so rude as to not answer his newly engrained social niceties. 

“Hmph,” Dabi snorts, a low laugh puffing out of his lips. “The name’s Dabi.”

Reo digests that, his nose wrinkling as he mouths the unfamiliar name to himself, like he’s wanting to get it just right when he speaks it aloud. It’s kinda cute, Dabi muses. You know, in a stupid sort of way.

“D- Dadi?” Reo mimics, stumbling over that all important ‘b’ in Dabi’s name.

“What? No. It’s DABI. It’s got a ‘B’ in it. Like, uh, b as in, uh, bear. You know what a bear is, yeah?”

“A bear?” Reo asks, biting his lip at the strange change of topic. “What about a bear?”

“You got my name wrong, kid. It’s Dabi, not DaDi. My name has a ‘b’ not a ‘d.’ Try again,” Dabi groans, sinking to his haunches and praying that this kids mom will rematerialize any goddamn second. 

“Dadi,” Reo mimics, still fumbling. 

“Ugh,” Dabi sucks his teeth and begins to stand again. 

“Hey! Pick me up?” Reo requests, his arms lifting, stocky fingers clenching and unclenching into his palms, opening and closing in a repetition of a familiar demand. 

“Pick you up?” Dabi repeats, incredulous. What the fuck is wrong with today? The only thing that could make this worse is someone seeing this odd performance.

“I’m not gonna pick you up,” Dabi growls, his lips pursing at the kid. “You’re just fine where you are. Besides, don’t kids like you need to practice walking? How old are you anyway?”

“Five,” Reo chirrups, puffing his chest out, like he’s expecting a rainfall of praise to fall on him now that he’s verbally acknowledged that he is indeed, a big boy.

“That’s too bad, kid. If you’re five, you’re definitely old enough to walk under your own power,” Dabi snorts, bemused by Reo’s chipper attitude. Doesn't that get tiring? All that smiling and pacing that he’s doing? Dabi’s never had much experience with little kids, well, other than his own contact with his younger siblings, but they were never this...chatty.

“Awe,” Reo whines, his head falling, little chin bumping as it hits his collarbone dejectedly. Dabi shakes his head at the dramatic reaction. Sulking is better than crying, he reasons, turning his head to look for the boy’s mother again. She said it would only take a minute? The fuck was she?

“Hey, kid. Where were you and your mom before you came here?”

There’s a strange, static-like quiet that follows Dabi’s question. That’s weird. He would have figured that his new query would have broken the boy out in another rash of talkative excitement. So for him to be…

Wait. 

Dabi turns back and his eyes scan the newly barren hallway for the boy. The fuck? Where did he go? His gaze is still whisking frantically when he spots the heel of Reo’s shoe disappearing beyond the next corner. Fucking wonderful.

He paces after the boy, his long legs pulling him quickly along. Again, he wonders why he gives two shits. It’s not his kid, not his responsibility. Yet there’s some nagging pressure that keeps beating at the back of his mind. It’s likely some pieces of a fragmented lesson that had been taught to him long ago. Back when he wasn’t like this. Long before he’d made the decision that sent him on this mindless trajectory, lingering in the obsession of his pent up rage and hurt.  

You’re the eldest. 

Take care of your sister. 

Easy, he’s still a baby. That’s right, hold him like that. You’re such a good brother. 

You’re the one who he can go to when he needs help.

Thank you, Touya. You did so, so well! I’m sorry I had to leave for a bit, but thank you for watching him. 

It’s a big job, and one that you’ll always have, so, can you do it?

You’re their big brother. They look up to you.

Look! She’s happy to see you, Touya!

Dabi snarls at those little flashes of memory, his teeth gritting. No one needs him. Fuck, he’d be more likely to kill them than help them now. Or, at least that’s what he keeps telling himself. Drilling it in, over and over, until he can repeat that vitriol like it’s some kinda twisted prayer. He’s not that boy anymore and he can never, ever go back. He’s made sure of that. 

“Hey! Hey kid! Get back here! You little shit!” 

A loud, male voice is booming up ahead and Dabi jogs the last few steps, his head already uplifted and searching as he rounds the corner. There’s a tall, unfamiliar man in the next hallway and he’s looking away, watching as Reo sprints from him. 

“Fuck, man. Why you gotta yell at him?” Dabi scolds, his cerulean eyes glaring. The man whirls around and Dabi notes the source of his ire. There’s a large stain, bleeding against his crisp white button up and an upturned mug is clutched in a tight fist. Kid must have bumped into him and knocked his coffee out. Well, that fucking sucks, but it’s no reason to freak out at the little guy. He’s five for fuck’s sake. Not like he did it on purpose. 

“He burned me! He ran around that corner and smack into me! Control your kid, you ass! I know you’re one of those hoity toity new generals but you gotta--”

“He’s not my kid,” Dabi snaps, already shoving past the blustering idiot. If he hurries, he can snatch the boy up before he gets too much farther. 

“You sure are running after him like he is!” 

The taunt chases him as Dabi stalks away and it makes him grind his teeth again. Doesn’t matter, doesn’t matter, doesn’t matter, he repeats, all he’s gotta do is get the kid and wait for the mom. Besides, he’s in too deep now. He can’t just abandon him. Fuck, with his luck, he’d run into the mom before he ran into Reo again.

The next hallway leads to one of the many common rooms. 

Dabi, realizing this, begins to jog again, suddenly desperate to catch Reo before he wanders into even more members of this crazy cult. Or worse, he gulps, a member of the League. He’d never live it down if the kid bumped into Compress or Shigaraki. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

As he skids along the next turn, Dabi catches sight of the kid. He’s wavering beside the double doors of the common room and he looks distinctly lost, his dark head turning every few seconds, those violet eyes of his wide. 

“Oi! Reo! Stop running,” Dabi calls, already lowering himself to a kneeling position, his long, mangled arms outstretched. He’s hoping he’s painting some kinda welcoming picture with this gesture and not just creating a terrifying pantomime of comfort.

Reo looks back and he lets out a little squeal of recognition and delight. Excited he is finally going to be picked up. His shoes tap loudly against the tiles as he dashes into Dabi’s oddly warm embrace. 

Once he’s got a good grip on the boy, Dabi rises to his feet, keeping the kid’s body securely against his. At first, Reo protests the tight hold, his back bowing and squirming, but Dabi stills him with a long, hard, stare.

“Don’t do that,” Dabi chastises, wincing against the pull on his marred skin. 

“Oh! Does it hurt?” Reo asks, carefully bringing his swinging feet to a standstill, noting the grimace of pain on Dabi’s scarred face.

“Yeah,” Dabi confirms, shifting Reo to his hip so he can free up his other arm to adjust a pinching staple. “My skin ain’t exactly healthy. Now, let’s get you back to your mom before she finds out that you fuc-- I mean...that you dashed off like that. Give people a heads up next time, huh? Making me run all over the compound after--”

“Oh! Who’s that you’re holding?”

“Gosh, he looks just like you! With that dark hair and those bright eyes of his. Is that your son?”

Fuck. Shit. Fuck.

Dabi tosses a glare over his shoulder, but the two women keep walking toward him, cooing at Reo’s pleased little face. One of them reaches up and ruffles the boy's hair and Dabi instinctively takes a step back, a snarl lifting his lips over his white teeth.

“He’s not my kid,” Dabi corrects, for what feels like the umpteenth time today. It’s only the second, but twice is two times too many. 

These women are being ridiculous. They don’t look that much alike. He’s just got dark hair, that’s all. If they knew what color Dabi’s hair really was they wouldn’t even make that connection. With his true coloring, Reo would be another kid and Dabi would be some fucking freak who’s left holding him. He’s not this kid's anything, least of all his protector. 

It’s not his job to look after this half pint, nor is it his job to care about him. Even if he reminds him of some sliver of what was, what could have been. No, Dabi is just some schmuck who somehow stumbled into this absurdity. It would be easy to unwind those trusting arms and lower this kid back to the ground, he’s not sure why he’s still holding him. He should...he should put him down...He... 

For some reason, that last thought makes his heart squeeze, pressing an irregular beat against his breast. He shakes his head at the sensation, burying whatever bubble of emotion that is trying to rise back down, pressing it deep, smothering and covering until he feels normal again. 

“He’s right! I’m not. Because he’s Dadi!” Reo confirms, simultaneously standing up for his new, haphazard, caretaker and throwing him under an oncoming proverbial bus in the same breath. Goddamn it all.

“That’s so sweet! Your son is beyond adorable!”

“He’s not…” Dabi begins, but bites his tongue. What good is it doing him anyway? These flunkies of the Meta Liberation are just fawning over Reo anyway. He’s honestly stunned they’re still talking to him at all. 

As they’re tickling and petting at the boy, a sudden thought springs into his mind. Actually, this might not be too bad. If he can get one of them to take the kid, he can fucking slink away, his responsibility finished, job done. 

“Oi, one of you can take him. He’s waiting for his mom. She said something about meeting with that Skeptic dic-- guy.”

“You want us to watch your son?” One of the girl’s questions, her head tilting at his demand. “Wouldn’t you rather wait for her yourself? You don’t know us and, well, not that we’d do anything bad...but that feels strange. Besides, you’re doing a great job! Look how happy he is. The two of you are so cute!”

Amazing. 

Apparently, Dabi, despite his hardened and rough persona, one that he has cultivated and built up for years, mind you, could now add, “cute,” to that resume of terror that he is building. 

Sighing, Dabi tries a more direct approach. “You seem to like him a lot, so just keep an eye on him until his mom comes back. It’s not hard. He likes being held, so just, er, hold him.”

Reo, sensing that he’s about to be deposited out of Dabi’s warm grasp, begins to wiggle again, his hands clinging to Dabi’s skin. He’s trying to be gentle, remembering Dabi’s earlier warning, his small digits tapping rather than digging, but he’s still scrabbling against the pull.

The woman clicks her tongue and smiles, tucking some of her long hair behind her ear. “Your son is so precious! He must really love you. Look, Han, isn’t this kid is the sweetest thing you’ve ever seen!” Her friend chuckles and agrees and the cheerful sound makes Dabi seethe. 

“Like I told you, he ain’t my kid. Now knock the wax outta your ears and take him,” Dabi snarls, still pushing Reo outward, hoping beyond hope that this calamity will just fucking end. 

“Dadi,” Reo pouts, his nose wrinkling as he burrows his face into Dabi’s arm, his skin hot against Dabi’s purple flesh.

“If he’s not your kid,” the woman named Han says, propping a fist on her hip, “why does he keep calling you daddy?”

“He’s not calling me that,” Dabi grumbles, his eyes lingering on Reo’s distressed slump. “The kid can’t say my name, which is Dabi. For some fucking reason the “b” is alluding him.”

“Fucking?” Reo questions, his brilliant purple eyes lifting, searching Dabi’s deep blue gaze. When he doesn’t get an answer, he repeats the word, lingering on those harsh syllables a little longer than he needs to. God, Dabi thinks, pulling Reo back to him, trying to muffle the boys bewildered tests of his new word. This is beyond ridiculous.

“Uh-oh,” another, male, voice resounds. Dabi scowls at the newcomer, watching as he steps beside the women, his eyes widened in mock concern. “That your kiddo?” He asks, his brow arching at Dabi’s now openly hostile form. 

“Fuc-- Again? I gotta answer this again?” Dabi snaps, shifting Reo back to his hip, just above his belt. “No. No, he is not mine.”

“Sure about that?” the man quizzes. “He’s sure got your hair and, uh, your vulgarity down.” 

“He’s that woman’s...Look, his mother went to go see that Skeptic bastard. So, you wanna help me out here? Any of you idiots want to do something useful? Hmm? Go into that big meeting room, the one past the common area and get her. I bet that’s where she went. When you see her...tell her, her kid is going wild. Stop...stop looking at me like that or I’ll torch you where you fuc-- where you stand.”

Instead of being cowed by his threat, the Meta Liberation Assholes just laugh, the three of them leaning against each other as they heave with their amusement. And Reo? Well, he’s seemingly amused by all the ruckus, giggling and murmuring little nothings into Dabi’s skin, nuzzling into Dabi’s inhuman warmth. Dabi feels that strange tugging at his heart again and in his anger and distant horror, he spews more rage onto the trash that’s daring to chortle so openly in front of him.

“Goddamn it, I’ll make each of you pay for this you...you stupid--”

“Dabi?”

Can a hole open up under him? That would be absolutely perfect and he’d be so, so grateful. He cranes his neck and catches sight of the last person he wanted to see. Fucking, Twice. His costume is making those white eyes of his comically wide and his hands lift to clap at his face, always dramatic and overblown to the last.

“Who is that sweet little boy? The hell are you doing with that child?!?”

“He’s--”

“It’s his son!” The ‘Han’ woman calls, still clutching her sides, her eyes wet from her mirth.

“No,” Dabi groans, his head dropping lamely. He wants nothing more than to fry each and everyone of these fucking pieces of shit. The desire is so strong he can feel the creeping of heat that’s rising in his palms and tickling up his piercings, scalding his skin against the metal. No, he scolds himself, he can’t do that. Not with Reo in his arms. He’s gotta be careful. He can’t hurt the kid. It’s not his fucking fault he’s been trapped in the care of a monster like him. 

Dabi gasps at his sudden, protective instincts. The fuck? This kid is nothing to him. Nothing. He doesn’t remind him of anyone. No, he’s nothing like his little brothers, all questions and sweet, brief hugs. He’s not...he’s not…

Reo’s hum of agitation breaks Dabi from his swirling emotions. The boy tries to lift his legs away from Dabi’s hips, his arms wrapping around Dabi’s neck, suddenly unsure and starting to whimper. 

“It’s too hot,” he complains, his voice small and soft in Dabi’s ear.

“I know,” Dabi concedes, taking another deep breath, trying to still that rushing rage that is lingering in the back of his mind. “Sorry kid, it should stop in a minute.”

“Ok,” Reo nods, his black hair mingling with Dabi’s spiky tendrils. 

Twice has stepped forward and he’s standing beside Dabi, his head cocked, looking from the shivering boy to Dabi’s haggard expression. “He does look a lot like you,” Twice ponders, his fingers tracing his chin meditatively. There’s something about Twice that Reo is bothered by and his face falls into the hollow of Dabi’s neck and shoulder, straining his body against Dabi, away from the black and red suited man that’s beside Dabi’s elbow.  

“Fuc-- Piss off, Twice,” Dabi growls, his blue eyes narrowing and hardening as he pats comfortingly at Reo’s back, twisting from Twice’s curious stare. “You’re freaking the kid out. Hey! Hey, don’t you assholes have some bootlicking to do?” Dabi snaps, his eyes lifting to the gaggle of MLA members, who are still giggling and whispering across from him. And, just as those words leave his lips, Reo’s mother, finally, finally returns. 

“Oh thank you!” She coos, raising her arms to Reo and peeling him away from Dabi. To Dabi’s shock, Reo still shakes his head, his arms retightening around Dabi’s tense neck.

“Oooh, he’s taken a liking to you I see!” 

“You gotta let me go, kid,” Dabi whispers into Reo’s ear, unlacing his little arms. Reo whines and pouts as Dabi presses him back to his mother, a sigh of relief shuddering from his mismatched lips. Thank fucking God. Now he can have this woman tell all of those shits that he’s not this boy’s father...wait...what the fuck? Oh...oh, now they all leave.

The MLA lackeys are drifting away, walking in a tight bunch as they re-enter the common area, soft grins still lingering on Dabi. And Twice? Twice is snickering openly and making his way down an adjacent hallway, no doubt off to tell Toga what he’s seen.

“Thanks again. Looks like you did a great job,” Reo’s mother repeats, shifting her son to a better position, trying to quiet his frantic scrabbling, his small arms still reaching, struggling for Dabi.

“Dadi!” Reo cries, a few tears falling from his soft face as he’s walked away. In another heartbeat, they’re both gone and all Dabi has left of that strange little kid is the lingering sting and warmth of his embrace on his burned skin.

Notes: Dabi is a grump. Or is he? o(TヘTo)

Tags: @spicy-skull, @xwildskullx, @evesmores

[pomegranates-and-blood]

Her Own

My Masterlist  

Pairing: Past Ivar/Freydis, but this is about her

Summary: What if Freydis didn’t confront Ivar in 5x20? What if she made a different choice, after letting them past the walls? What if she lived?

(I wanted to write a fix-it for her ending, I wanted her to have a chance at happiness, that’s about it.)

Word Count: 2.5k

Warnings: Passing mentions of death and violence, quite a focus on Baldur’s remains, angst.

A/N: My entry for @maggiescarborough​’s International Women’s Day Challenge (I’m sorry it’s 2k bby, you know by now I can’t write short pieces lmao). So, I like Freydis, even though I always change a bit (a lot) of her when I write her. She loved that baby, and (if she was honest, which I like a little less than the alternative) she loved Ivar, she was capable and willing to love despite all she suffered (because even if we aren’t shown it, the woman was a slave presumably her whole life); or (if she was smart enough to lie, which, kudos) she is a smart and cunning woman, and an ambitious and fucking fearless one at that (and I really like women in Vikings that fight and persevere while still playing within their gender role, as a wife, a mother, etc.). And yeah idk, she’s not a role model character by any means, but it is a female character that I was always fascinated by, hence why a work for her is my entry for this challenge.

The poem quoted here is Broken Crown, I couldn’t find the author or any link other than this though, sorry.

There’s a story about a queen who gave up her kingdom for a chance to breathe.

One day, she walked out of court with nothing. Somewhere far, the sky stirred, and the ocean raised itself for a glimpse.

She remembers being chained even though her wrists were free, looking into a man’s eyes and promising him that in his blood ran ichor akin to that of the Gods. She remembers the promise she made.

“I would give my life for you, if you asked me to.” She told him, and she meant every word.

With the wind biting against her face, her cheek still feeling the pulse of a bruise that has long since healed, her skin still wet with the phantom trace of tears that have long since ran out; Freydis walks away.

Kattegat trembles and quivers at her back, and if she were any more naïve, she would tell herself it is the lack of its queen that makes the town mourn, and not the sons of Ragnar that fight to the death -the death of others, the death of slaves and warriors; it is always the death of others that those men offer to the Gods as tribute, Freydis more than anyone knows that- for a throne that she has sat in, and has deemed as ordinary as any other chair.

A part of her wanted to stay, wanted to look Ivar in the eye and watch as he understood he had lost everything, because of her. Just like she had, because of him.

Her arms tighten on the cold and hard wooden box she wrapped in a cloak, and if she closes her eyes she can pretend her Baldur is nuzzled against her breast, just sleeping.

She wanted to stay. She wanted to stay to watch them all burn, she wanted to stay because she never lied to him. Despite everything, she never lied, or, if she did, she doesn’t remember anymore.

Her life was his, that never changed.

But her death, her death is her own.

The war was not barbarous men in broken armor, not limping horses or battle cries. The war sounds like her owl wings beating, quietly frantic, lovely beneath the eastern sky.

But one grows weary of being both assailant and defender.

She opens bleary eyes when she hears footsteps near her. Uselessly, she clutches the box cradling Baldur’s bones a bit closer, and watches with wide eyes as someone approaches.

She wishes she could stand, she wishes she could move. But she feels weak, she feels…tired. It is alright, she gathers.

Her death will be her own, anyways. Even if it is her body giving in on the mossy floor on the outskirts of some unknown city, it is her own. There are not many things she can call her own, not anymore. Her death might just be the last.

But the Gods won’t let her die, it seems, since a woman approaches, the stride of a shieldmaiden.

The woman, a blonde with a deep scar on the side of her face, takes one look at Freydis and calls out for her warriors.

Two shieldmaidens approach, look at her with something that looks like pity. And Freydis wants to bare her teeth, tell them she doesn’t need their pity, she doesn’t need anyone.

The blonde, the leader, takes a step closer. Freydis grits her teeth to keep her body under her control, to keep it from scrambling away like the panic singing in her blood begs her to.

“You are safe,” The woman tells her, voice strangely soft. “You were a thrall, weren’t you?”

“I-I was a-…” A slave, a wife, a queen, a…a mother.

“You are no more,” The shieldmaiden promises, almost as if she can hear her thoughts. “Tell me your name.”

“Freydis.”

“You are safe, Freydis. We won’t hurt you, and…we are going to Ribe, we can take you there.”

“Why would I-…why Ribe?”

The smile the scarred woman shows for that fragile moment seems understanding, seems like a secret. Freydis feels like she either knows or understands more of her story than any other.

“Because it is far from Kattegat.”

They say her shattered dreams rattle inside her lungs.

Freydis cannot help but wonder bitterly where these women were when she needed them most, when she still had a life that belonged to her, when she was alone and so scared she held on to him even if all she had to hold on to was a figure -a life- made of sand.

But they are here now, and they make flavorful but humble broths that they share with comfortable ease, and they offer touches that speak of compassion but not of pity -she is starting to see the difference-, and they have scars of their own that show when they smile or when they laugh.

Weeks after the scarred woman left her in the care of these women, Freydis feels strong enough to stand and walk on her own.

And she makes herself be strong enough to take her son’s bones up the hill.

She puts the cradle -the box, she corrects herself- on the ground, and traces her hand over the lid of it one last time, as gently as she would have stroked his little back.

And when she speaks, she speaks quietly, soothingly, as she would have to lull him to sleep.

“Sweet Baldur, to me...to me you will always be divine,” She promises, slowly grabbing the stones between shaking hands and making up the small grave, “The gift the Gods granted me, something of my very own to have, to love. But…” She swallows thickly, but raises her chin and makes herself admit her pain, her mistakes, “But you see, my son, I was blind, I was lost, and for my arrogance the Gods have punished me. I only wish they could have taken from me anything but you,” She sweeps one last time her hand over the carefully placed stones, smiles past her tears, “I know I will never hear your innocent laugh, or see you take your first steps, or feel you alive against me again, I know. But you will always be with me, you…you will always be my child.”

She will carry him with her, carry him alongside her pain. Pain is the one thing they can’t take away from her. She, better than anyone, knows this.

In dreams, her belly is swollen.

The storm rages and the baby cries in the woman’s hold, even as she rocks him back and forth, as calming and as enveloping as the sea. And Freydis watches, she watches until her eyes burn.

She closes her eyes, and the bed is comfortable and soft underneath her, his hand is warm and gentle.

“How is little Baldur, hm?” He asks, and in that figment of a moment she can give in, and pretend. And she lets herself forget the way the wood of the wooden chair makes her back ache, pretending there is only soft furs underneath her.

She lifts her hand, moves to put it over his on her stomach.

And she lets herself forget the sounds of the storm around her, pretending there is only the crackling of fire.

She opens her eyes, because his hand is not under hers, and her stomach is barren. She still finds him looking back, but it is the coldness and the cruelty, and his mouth curves unnaturally in a grin that boasts that he took everything from her.

Freydis grits her teeth and looks away, a sob, a cry, stuck in her throat as she gasps for air.

The woman looks at her, motherly and comforting in a way no one ever looked at her before, motherly and protective in a way she was never allowed to be. She doesn’t know if she ought to resent her for not being there or envy her for having what she cannot; even though Freydis knows both things would be useless and irrational.

The baby in the woman’s arms coos, and it tugs at Freydis heart, it makes her chest tighten and her very blood ache with an absence that on some days is heavier. Today, since that first day, is the heaviest.

Before Freydis can even give voice to her plea, the woman shuffles closer, a hand on the back of the baby’s head and cautiously extending her arm, offering him to her.

She holds him, brings his little head to her nose, and fights the urge to close her eyes and pretend.

In dreams, she is her own.

“You expect nothing for yourself, but you’ve revealed everything to me.” I have revealed nothing, she wants to scream, you haven’t let me. He continues, “You are all goodness. All truth.”

What makes her heart feel like it is being squeezed tight in his fist is that he looks like he believes what he is saying. She isn’t all goodness and doesn’t want to be, she hasn’t ever told the whole truth.

She wants to yell and scream and demand that he look at her, that he look at her face and see more than the woman he is proud to have made his wife and see the wear all those years of suffering have left etched in the angles and creases; that he look at her body and see more than the vessel for his child and see the scars and the mark of hunger that after months of life as a queen she feels hasn’t left her body.

She wants to be seen, seen as more than fragments of glass put together however he sees fit, seen as more than whatever image of her he sees even when looking directly into her eyes.

But it is better to be wanted like this than to not be wanted at all, she knows that much. And so she smiles, and pretends the tears in her eyes are for him, and tells him what he wants to hear. It wears on her, to see love and feel like she’s seeing it thought the cracks in a wall even when it is looking directly into her eyes, to feel love and see it accepted and embraced as long as she can be what he wants her to.

And in the morning when she wakes in that home that is so less familiar than the one of before, but so much more of a home; she meets the eyes of the people she lives with and grits her teeth when they smile, feels like a wounded bird in a cage when they call her name in greeting.

They don’t know me, she tells herself, rage and grief and something that tastes like the acid of fear swimming in her stomach, they are just like him.

It takes her time to understand that they don’t ask for her story because they don’t want to demand it. For too long she has confused demanding with wanting, need with love; and it takes a while but she realizes that they see the way she flinches and so they don’t gesture so broadly around her, and they see the way she looks at the latest woman that has joined them and they let her hold the baby more often, and they see that she likes sleeping closer to the door and they give her the keys to the home, and...and maybe they see her.

In dreams, she did not ruin herself to be dressed in dying clouds.

Wide blue eyes jump between the dark red and green dress and the woman that holds it with a hopeful smile.

“I thought you’d like it.” Frída tells her.

She wants to spit back accusations, ask her how would she know what Freydis likes if she doesn’t know her, ask her why she is cruel enough to pretend to see her when all she sees is an illusion.

But she always liked the way the dark red and the dark green of certain fabrics shimmer in the low light, she always felt a little more alive, a little more herself, when she wore those colors.

She noticed, her scrambled thoughts scream, she saw me.

And so Freydis extends trembling hands, and barely grazes over the rough but beautiful thread. Her lips quiver into a smile, and she hopes the words that tumble from her mouth, stuttering and hurried, are enough gratitude.

That night, and so many nights after that, Freydis lingers for a while in front of the small and smudged mirror in her room. She looks, she sees.

She never had time to see herself. Before, the days were long and exhausting, and the nights were hopefully quiet, she didn’t have time to linger on fickle things like herself. And after, while the days were softer and the nights warmer, she didn’t like having to reconcile what he saw and what she did so she didn’t try.

She sees the hair that has grown duller since the food has become scarcer and less varied, but she sees the way her eyes are a little bit brighter, brighter than they have ever been. She sees her body is bonier than it used to be before the running, but as the reds and greens play in the folds of her dress, she finds herself more alive than ever.

She is lost and youthful again, denies the wounds in her flesh.

Freydis has learned she was wrong, when she promised those things. He had no right to her life, no right to her death.

Both are her own, and though sometimes she finds herself lingering in a world so long past her that it seems like a dream -or a nightmare-, Freydis finds that there are many things she can call her own.

Her own is the secret smile she and Frída share over dinner as they talk about what is happening in the town, her own is the old and worn green and red dress she will mend until there is nothing but tatters, her own is the pendant hanging from her neck that she was gifted by a man of kind eyes that she hasn’t forgotten.

Her own are her memories, good and bad. Her pain, but also her joy. Her past, but also her future.

Her own is the child that Hídr’s husband brings from a raid, that Freydis insisted would never be a slave, that it would be hers -and free- instead. Her own is the two-year-old girl she names Sigrun and calls her daughter, and loves like her own because she is.

Her own is herself, and all that came after.

Word has spread that her laugh is the sound of a thousand waterfalls.

Before, she twinkled. Now she is ablaze.

She is cracked porcelain leaking out guarded hope.

____ ____ ____

If you caught a not so teeny-tiny cameo by someone who also deserved better than a son of Ragnar, I will love you forever.

Thank you so much for reading! I hope you liked this, I don’t know if it is any good but I enjoyed writing it a whole lot :)

Taglist (I’m tagging those in my ‘all’ taglist, I hope it’s okay): @youbloodymadgenius @xbellaxcarolinax @1950schick @ietss @peachyboneless @encounterthepast @maggiescarborough @chibisgotovalhalla @fae-sedai @zuxiezendler @crazybunnyladysworld   @stupiddarkkside @northumbria @aprilivar​

[the-hopeless-haze]

Somebody Sit in My Chair and Ruin My Sleep (Being Alive Ch 15)

A/N: Idk how I feel about this chapter but here u go I guess lol

Previous Chapter

content warnings: implied smut

WC: 1.9k

Rafael didn’t have any idea what he was walking into on Monday morning, but Jesus Christ, the fact that you let the squad know what happened - down to the very last detail, it seemed - was a horror show. Amanda avoids him in some show of female solidarity, Nick shoots him sympathetic looks, and Sonny - fucking Sonny asks Rafael how he is and won’t stop asking how you were, if he’d heard from you.

But why should he expect mercy from the woman who turned down his proposal?

And maybe he deserved it. Maybe he should’ve tried to read the room instead of just pushing forward. You had been right - that night certainly wasn’t the prime time for a proposal in the slightest. Hindsight is always 20/20, and he keeps remembering moments where you were slipping away inch by inch like sand past his fingertips, and he can’t believe how stupid he was that he chose to swallow it down and chalk it up as nothing instead of sitting down and actually talking to you.

Still, communication is a two way street, and instead of sending him vague signals that he was too obtuse to decipher, you could’ve sat down and talked to him too.

It’s so much easier to assign blame than take it, isn’t it?

Ultimately, though, he just couldn’t believe you weren’t on the same page as him. Didn’t you always say you wanted all these things? Weren’t you happy that Rafael finally felt he was ready, too? Perhaps though, in the midst of all his internal turmoil he truly forgot to assess your feelings on the matter. Yes, you said you wanted children, yes, your parents constantly threw comments his way about settling down with you, and yes, you’d told him on multiple occasions he wasn’t too old to get married if that’s truly what he wanted.

But where was your actual opinion on marrying him in any of this? It was lost in between the need you no doubt felt to constantly comfort Rafael about his current misgivings and past misfortunes and your parents’ well-meaning but busy-bodied comments. It was clouded by Rafael’s own mother’s opinions, and hell, even Sonny’s - everyone was so afraid Rafael was going to lose you that they pressured him into offering you a ring and a promise of forever - but little did anyone know that by doing just that... he had in fact lost you anyway.

His mother was devastated, weeping about how you would’ve made such a lovely bride, how she was already looking at suits for Rafael and venues for the wedding... he couldn’t handle it and left her apartment after ten minutes of her lamentation. He should’ve never told her, he should’ve never been so sure of what was going on in your head, because now he realizes he never had any idea. No one did.

So now, he snaps at Sonny, because Sonny is guilty by way of telling him “oh sure, she’ll say yes” like anyone knew what the fuck you would do when the question was finally asked. Maybe you didn’t even know until he was down on one knee. Still, Rafael can’t help wondering if things would be different if the car accident never happened - deep down, he knows there were signs you were pulling away after Thanksgiving, but it’s so much easier to blame Sonny for it. You wouldn’t have sunk so low in a deep depression if you could’ve worked, if you weren’t immobilized by your injury... but would you have loved Rafael enough anyway?

“Will you shut the fuck up?” Rafael hisses at the younger detective. “You’ve been talking my ear off all morning.”

“Whoa, Barba, wake up on the wrong side of the bed today or what? I was just getting you up to speed on the case—“

“I’ve read the file. You don’t need to.”

“Fine. Liv’s in her office but I suggest cooling the attitude, because she’s not in a good mood either. Noah was sick and kept her up all night.”

“Lovely.”

And then, by some sick twist of fate, you walk through the door, and Rafael’s stomach turns. Never did you look so gorgeous, so beautiful, so fucking untouchable than you did now. It’s the first time in weeks he’s seen you in a blazer and slacks, the first time he’s seen you look like you gave a shit in months. And maybe that’s unfair - you were struggling, per your own admission - but it almost feels like all you had to do was lose the weight of Rafael and all his baggage that came with being in a relationship with him, and you were good as new.

He wonders how many of his exes could tell a similar story to yours, if that were truly the case.

You meet his eyes for a split second and he wants to drop dead. You give him a haughty smirk and head over to Amanda’s desk, turning your back to him.

Why couldn’t you just fucking leave like you’d said you would? It’d be so much easier if you did just go back home but like everything else that came out of your mouth that was merely a half baked promise you had no intention of making good on.

And maybe Rafael should’ve called you this weekend, but he couldn’t swallow his pride and come back to you with his tail between his legs after you rejected the proposal he’d worked all his life to be able to give. You never called him either, but if this was going to go anywhere, someone would have to talk first.

But shouldn’t it have to be you? You’re the one who asked for space. He’s giving it. What the fuck else was he supposed to do?

But now that you’re not living with him, now that you’re not even with him at all, you’re completely unpredictable. Never in his wildest dreams did he think you’d come over to him and Sonny, flash him your best sardonic lipglossed smile, and ask to borrow Sonny for a moment.

Rafael can’t even think straight, he can barely breathe, the rage coming up like bile and tightening his throat. How could you stand there and act like nothing was different now?

“Sure,” he snaps.

“Whoa, no need for the attitude, Rafael,” you say sweetly. “We can all play nice, right?”

Rafael doesn’t say anything, can’t say anything… he just shakes his head and walks to Olivia’s office. How could you compartmentalize like that, he’d love to know. Wasn’t this killing you, too?

The rest of the day proves to go by smoother, thankfully, albeit minor annoyances that come up like a snippy altercation with Olivia due to both of their bad moods and a taxi driver haggling him about the fare. Rafael still cannot wait to come back to his office and savor his fourth cup of coffee today after running around the city all morning, put his feet up and do some paperwork…

But you’re there, in his chair, with your feet up on his desk.

“Get out,” Rafael says before you can utter a word.

“I want to talk,” you say innocently.

“I don’t. Get out. Who the hell let you in here?”

“Carmen, duh. She still thinks we’re together, apparently.”

“Do I have to call security?”

You stare at him blankly. “You’d really call security?”

Rafael rolls his eyes, throws his briefcase on a nearby chair. “What the hell do you want?”

“Where do we go from here?”

“Nowhere. You ended it.”

“Okay, no, I just said I needed space. I didn’t end it--”

“Right. I need to work.”

“Okay. We’ll meet later then,” you nod, standing up.

“I didn’t agree--”

“I’ll be back in a few hours. I got to head back to the precinct in fifteen minutes anyway.”

Rafael hates doing this, showing a moment of vulnerability, but he has to ask, “Are you staying? In New York, I mean.”

“For now,” you say, softening too. “Obviously. I talked to Liv for a long time, talked to my dad.. And… I don’t know if being back home is the best course for me either. I’m just trying to get back to some semblance of normal, you know?”

“Right.”

“I’ll see you,” you say, walking past him and leaving his office.

How many years would it be before he did figure you out?

------

The two of you don’t really talk much at first when you reunite later on that evening. Rafael draws the shades in his office, and it’s all pulling at clothes, at skin, at hair and you’re not proud of it but you also don’t really regret that you let it get that far. You missed him, in an annoyingly cloying way, and what was better than makeup sex when the two of you were still pissed off at each other?

“You need…. You need to go to therapy,” Rafael pants after coming down from his high.

You have to laugh at that. Maybe that was only the 7th most offensive thing someone had said to you after sex. And, annoyingly, he was right, even if his delivery and timing could’ve been light years better.

“Mm. I know,” you tell him, pulling him in to kiss him again, his sweaty chest sticking to your back as you pull off him to lay, or rather squeeze next to him on the couch.

“You need to--”

“Let’s not get into the shit I need to do right now, okay? I know I have things to sort out. So do you.”

“Right. I’m sorry. I’m trying to help, and I’m trying to understand, but--”

“Right now… don’t. Just fuck me like that again.”

Rafael chuckles - damn, it was only two days and you missed his laugh that much? It just tugs on your heartstrings in the worst way, but you suppose it proves how much you love him, how you couldn’t just put this down. You hated being the first to let your guard down, to bring yourself to his office not once but twice… but you couldn’t bear to lose him, either, and you’d hurt him where no one else had. It had to be you who offered a new start.

“I need to eat, mujer. And as tempting as that sounds… we need a change in location anyway.”

You nod in assent. “Fine.”

Neither of you get much sleep that night, as you split a bottle of wine and a pizza and talk, cry, fuck, whatever… but it’s a long sleepless night you wouldn’t have traded for the world. Things are different between you two, naturally, but something has to be shed to grow, and maybe you left some good things behind along with the bad things, but it’s how these things go. You can’t expect a relationship to be standing firm after a rejected proposal. For the moment, you’re just happy the two of you found a way to get back up.

As you curl into Rafael’s arms at four in the morning, you don’t feel at peace - lord knows you still have so many things to worry about - but you do feel better, and if that’s all you can get right now, you had to be okay with that.

Taglist (ask if you wanted to be added!) @stormtrooperofficerbrowneyes​ @thatesqcrush​ @law-nerd105​ @blackeyedangel9805​ @moon-river-drifter​ @the-baby-bookworm​ @dianilaws​ @xecq​ @lv7867​ @teddybluesclues​ @averyhotchner​ @houseofthirst​ @stardust-fray​

[lover-of-trash-and-people]

netflix shadow and bone s1 e5 pt3: peak darklina

the first kiss scene Alina is so beautiful Her little smile as she picks up his kefta after he hears him call out for Ivan to get it like ooh I'm gonna play a little trick on Alek Her making him smile with a joke that's not even funny The tentativeness of it all, them tiptoeing around each other, testing the boundaries Him being taken aback by her offering to help him put on his kefta but still wanting her to and immediately resorting to business voice asking questions about official sun summoner stuff And putting on his serious business face him trying to explain away the gloves by calling them a safeguard, not a sign of him not trusting her abilities the face he makes after saying spectacle either depicting his distaste for the showiness of the event or depicting his embarrassment at how he phrased the sentence, like what the fuck did I just say (more likely the first one) Her quickly turning around and walking away after the eye contact makes her realise how close they are and him pulling a puzzled look as she does so Just. Just how adorable the energy is. Both of them making jokes to diffuse the tension, her gripping the table to maybe steady or calm herself, the looks they give to each other as if engaged in a delicate dance; god-like Him straight up just blinking and looking down and gulping as she says 'we can offer Grisha and Ravkans hope' (could be multiple things he's thinking at this point, and all of them interest me) 'That means a lot to me, Alina.' *her turning to look at his face* 'You mean a lot...' *her immediately lowering her gaze and tracing where her mal scar used to be lmao* 'to everyone' *her raising her gaze to him again* The music swelling as she walks up to him, her barely grazing her fingers against his collar, his eyes looking across hers as if in disbelief, her looking at his lips, and then her closing the gap between them. Him being a little stiff, indubitably from being shocked, and yet giving into it almost instinctively as if he can't help it. The violin coming in powerfully yet softly to emphasize the tenderness of it all. This thing has been made with so much love and I can't contain myself about it. Him opening his eyes half a second after Alina, almost as if waking up from a dream and then, following a relaxing of his facial muscles as he clearly regains his composure, immediately looking inscrutable. Her doubting herself, not losing eye contact as he stands up from the desk, but her sudden fear, regret, and embarrassment clear on her face. Her sides of her lips slowly rising giving way his own self mirroring her and breaking into smile and composing himself and breaking into smile again before saying 'Not many people surprise me, Miss Starkov'. Her now fully breaking out into a smile, her face a picture of unguarded joy, she looks down only to have his gaze follow her face. Both of them giddy in the other's presence and the audience can feel it. It feels like he is leaning in for another one when the sound of the door opening makes them spring apart, regaining their composures and standing at a respectable distance from each other. Her poorly suppressing a smile, him looking at her visibly, her mimicking him with a glance out of her periphery, causing her to give in to her smile completely. Him looking visibly distracted as he attempts to pay attention to whoever came into the room. the Jesper of it all Jesper the mega idiot not being able to control his face from doing a thing as he realises the person who caught him where he wasn't supposed to be is the same person he was making sexy eyes at before and yet regaining his composure in record time The poor stable hand actually being interested in Jesper and being adorable with Jesper just being like charm itself Can you believe looking at Jesper Llewellyn Fahey in the flesh and having him make sexy eyes at you and then forgetting about it? Because I simply cannot. The line about light role play? Felt a little not right. GO OFF STABLE HAND WHO PUSHED JESPER AGAINST A WALL AND KISSED HIM, HE LITERALLY SAID IM POPPING OFF AND

THEN HE DID Zoya Zoya saying fuck off to the random racist comment made by one of the guests, but she was racist to Alina herself? (I mean South Asian-East Asian hate is not uncommon so idk) David omg the cutie pie adjusting his hair at the fete HEARTRENDER FUCKING HUSBANDS Fedyor insisting on Ivan eating the sweet and Ivan's solemn head shake like no babe im on a diet and Fedyor being like heart eyes please eat the sweet my love and then Fedyor holding Ivan's face to make him nibble off a corner and Ivan's face splitting into a reluctant grin Kaz the actor Seeing Kaz the actor instead of Kaz the master of trickery and plans is an interesting thing Kanej being Kanej cute banter interaction, would recommend, 10/10 hints at Arken being sus The look Kaz gives Arken when Arken leaves, I really should have known, I was simply being a clown Darkling and the dumb royalty We love the Darkling suppressing his anger at these otkazat'sya rulers dissing the grisha and the little palace Alina's entrance The soft hum that we hear when Alina enters but we don't see her face Alina's adorable peeking The Darkling's expression changing despite being done af with these mfers and instantaneously on catching a glimpse of Alina, she really has that power huh He really made it look like his pupils dilated and who knows maybe they did Him trying to call her out for not following protocol but him melting and saying 'you look lovely, by the way' Her saying 'you look like you needed saving' I can't breathe you're so cool ballroom at the little palace I must confess I expected the ballroom of the winter fete to be bigger

GENYADAVID looking at each other and pretending not to look at each other, my fucking heart Kanej being Kanej Kaz implying they're gonna try to trick the people into thinking that the fake sun summoner is real and Inej being done with his shit Alina's demonstration HER NAME IS ALINA STARKOV yes mfer The way people back away as he steps, god the power of this man Inej looking at Kaz omfg Okay him clapping the darkness into the room was cool af I love the shadow summoning effects so fucking much The first bit of light that Alina summons lighting up the gold parts of her black kefta, absolute perfection Alina just enjoying her power and then looking to Alek, his lips parting when she does Aw Fedyor looking at Ivan in a I told you she could do it way Genya and Fedyor exchanging glances as Alina besties THE CROWD SAYING SANKTA ALINA INEJ SAYING SANKTA ALINA WITH HALF A TEAR IN HER EYE DAMN THIS IS POWERFUL Jesper and Dima IMMEDIATELY TRANSITIONING TO JESPER SAYING 'SAINTS' AS A NAKED STABLE BOY GETS OFF OF HIM AGAHSJSJSJKS I CAN'T IM CACKLING AT THE AUDACITY OF THIS SHOW HOW ARE THEY SO PERFECT (his name's dima btw) Poor fucking Dima getting frightening orders from his superior as his hookup sneaks out with horses that are definitely not his Arken the little shit Ah Arken why'd you have to go and do this I was actually amused by you before the malyen factor omg Mal's here and someone saw him getting here apparat and faith? The apparat literally jumping out of the palace walls at Alina lol man I do love the religion angle of this universe and it would have been so fucking cool if it were explored a bit better ew apparat that grab was very violent mal/darkling interaction the darkling's reaction at his recognition of mal was so funny ah yes my arch nemesis, the other angle of this teen immortal love triangle how utterly delightful someone explain the darkling's 'are you alright' to mal, is it because Alina was worried sick, is it mind games, is it curiosity, what is it Im still don't know how to feel with them attaching a literal symbol to the sun summoner, to Alina's dreams and to the stag itself 'not until I see Alina' THE LOYAL HIMBO ENERGY IN THIS ONE ISTFG I have never known nose acting until I saw Ben Barnes, he uses his nose in his acting and it is absolutely wonderful; case in point, the 'i beg your pardon' to mal with the rage making his voice shake okay but why is every mal darkling interaction like, everything the prompt answer our baby mal gives and the satisfaction it brings to his face, fucking amazing the darkling being literally struck by this, his mouth literally agape, king this is a 20 year old lmao Baghra! OMG WE GOT A GLIMPSE OF BAGHRA'S FIRE YES Genya supremacy Genya beating Arken up let's fucking go Marie's plot influence and Racism? Yellowface? again? hmm bardugo (then again, I have no authority over this, I'm south asian) Ive already talked about how I'm interested in knowing if and how changing Marie's time and place of death going to influence the plot much because in the books it caused a chain reaction doing a lot of stuff Alina, my love Alina just, laughing with other Grisha, feeling at home, ah be still my treacherous heart Mal's confrontation scene with Alina that was in the books being retconned to Mal calling out to her body double, hmm, probably to make Mal more likeable, I don't have any feelings about this particularly Nadia and Fedyor Okay the both of them, smiling and walking, hand in hand, cute mlm wlw solidarity moment that I missed during the first watch Kanej interacting with Alina Why is Alina literally so adorable The music picking up as the Inferni catches sight of the 'limping man' (what? it was funny when he said it) Blue Irises Alina's face showing a certain sense of calm when Alek shows up Alina's face after the Darkling says 'for you' and presents her with blue irises is something like gasp okay you've got game sexy shadow man mal fite time omg I thought she was taking mal to talk to Baghra or smth not to kill him 🤡 aren't oprichnikis like

otkazat'sya or am I missing smth? Because Baghra's spy is obvs a fabrikator THE DESK SCENE omg the scene hath arriveth the fact that Alina can't stop smiling gods, the flirting 'I don't recall this, being part of the schedule' him turning back and saying 'it isn't' her hiding her face through the cover of smelling the flowers and just how coy she acts, like the literal eyelid batting Ma'am how embarrassing for you to have feelings rn these two are my absolute favs of all time the camera moving as they move from their spots on which they had to stand on to get the shot of their shadows almost kissing her nodding and smiling at him saying 'she'll probably be alright' like okay I'm ready for smooches kiss me already and him going 'don't you think' trying to savour this moment IM SORRY BUT THE FUCKING SCORE AT THE MOMENT THEIR LIPS MEET YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND I CANNOT COPE the way his hand is so big that he can almost hold her entire face in it the way she grips the back of his head I'm sorry I feel so disrespectful saying this but the sounds they make+I think that's a um titty grab or maybe it's just a holding someone and the placement was um unintended but I doubt it because everything in this fucking show is so intentional+ the lift up onto the desk+ the faces they make+ um god I'm going to hell for this but when they sort of grind into each other (I understand this is acting and they're just good at their job) but god does all of this make my heart race and also makes me happy I guess LITERAL GIGGLES I can't I'm soft 🥺🥺🥺 his little head shake at the knock on the door when he goes in for one last kiss before she gets off the desk and her eyes going all oy you, go get the door, I'm not going anywhere don't make whoever it is wait is so adorable and domestic her just standing there mouth agape to herself when he walks away HIM STILL FLUSHED AND BLUSHING AND HIS HAPPINESS CLEAR AS DAY ON HIS FACE WHEN HE OPENS THE DOOR his gaze flits to her when Ivan says Alina was the target 'I'll be waiting' love, I physically can't anymore Little cheek hold and walk away Her little smile to herself nearly fading before he jumps back in again to her surprise and to ours to hold her face with both his hands and kiss her one last time, and yes, he does kiss like he's being drafted for the war in the morning Her little mouth open and close and then her little smile to herself after he leaves I refuse to watch the rest of the episode right now because no let me steep in the darklina bliss

[daimonhalos]

Aight this is the second time I watch it but I'm gonna do a commentary on the latest bad's lore stream! Just for funsies, I might have honestly already forgotten some stuff so I wanna keep my thought process :3 let's go, commentary under the cut.

There's also some small theories/analysis in some points but nothing too much, just me rambling cause pain.

The pre stream song. Faster and Bad never change please.

I love so so so much the ominous soundtracks he puts as background for lore man it's just so coooool.

Reality check pre/post lore my beloved 💜

that little meh eh eh. is everything

he's just on a boat at night and but can already see he's got shaders on, this means PRETTY VISUALS AHEAD. Also i really like bits beginning with the character alone heading towards their destined direction, it's just pleasing

HIM TAKING DOWN ANTI EGG POSTERS. KING SHIT

Can't believe I got to hear "muffinhead" in lore voice.

Not even inside the room and HOLY SHIT they covered it all with the red bricks block IM AAAAH IT'S SO PRETTY. Like before the vines were all put at random but now they're neatly placed and it's actually aesthetically pleasing? I love it

DANCEFLOOR DANCEFLOOR DANCEFLOOR

The table. is . so. is so . it's so prebby,,, help like i'd live there man

Bad being overwhelmed by the egg's voice and lowkey scared. FINE IM FINE

No other choice. And the way he repeated it like a mantra? Kind of like to convince himself? AHHH

SKEPPY. SKEPP

small,, small egg staircase

haha fuckign pain. p a i n. just pain it sounds a lot like Skeppy before actually stayed with Bad cause it annoyed him how much he wanted to hang out like old times,,,,, my heart pangs

IM JUST WORRIED ABOUT YOU

I CARE ABOUT YOU *passes out*

bad scared the egg is skeppy's bff now /j (have to joke through the pain,,)

BADBOY i swear to god he knows his audience. he just does.

Bad doing whatever he can to even just hang out a few minutes with skeppy. Bro, the tears inside

"I'm comfortable right here." "Skeppy I know you are-" THE WAY BAD'S VOICE BROKE HERE HOLY SHIT LEMME CLIP IT.

He talks to chat. HE TALKS TO CHAT THIS MEANS WE ARE CANON THUS we are either little angels or demons around him or a mix or, we're particles that make up Rat ♥

"All of this is for him" okay stab me next time it'll hurt less

BADBOY STARTING TO BE CONFLICTED BECAUSE HE NEVER HAS A FUCKING BREAK

s- w- skeppy kept the egg alive? okay so ive been thinking about the fact that skeppy became completely red and like wow what if it kinda is that hes literally become a small part of Egg? like, i wonder if someone breaks it, if he feels pain

Skeppy so dry with his responses. stop i will cry

bad. bad why are you bringing up selfies to a lore stream bad-

"why are you still talking to me" "okay..." stop stop PLEASE STOP-

smol growls, he's getting frustrated

idk why but skeppy talking about the perimeters made me laugh it was just funny how far away he was and just started talking about it randomly

"i think it looked a little bit better before" thoughts being thunk

"what's it gonna take for you to stop talking to me?" literally i am deceased s t o p

STOP STEPPIN ON THE MAGMA BLOCKS SIR YOU'RE HURTING

Bad shouldn't be so happy about just having "one last walk around" with skeppy so he "stops bothering" him tHIS HURTS SO MUCH the egg has fucked them up so much

Skeppy doesn't hear it huh? Maybe it whispers different things to everyone

"I like how it feels" nooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO STOP HURTING TOURSELF

so no dance? *slams phone on the ground*

When skeppy says his line about never seeing anything close to a party there, idk what it is about it but his tone just hits, man he's so good preesh

HE CALLED HIM ANT. BAD PLS YOUR BEING BAD AT NAMES IS SHOWING

"Oh my goodness you're going back to the egg" HE'S SO SAD. HE'S SO SAD CAUSE HE COULDNT KEEP HIM WITH HIM A LITTLE BIT LONGER HES S

"you know what? i invite you" i wanna read this in a certain way. The egg was feeling like bad was so frustrated he started doubting the egg, so it was like alright let's use skeppy to get it closer to I can manipulate this bad boy better :)) motherfuck

are they about to kiss-

egg cockblocker

"okay don't come back" end me rn

ngl when sapnap joined I got real scared for a moment.

"it's not about power! it's nor about control! i'm you friend skeppy!" "I mean ... you can think that" FUCK U NO IM NOT DEALING WITH THIS RN

"We're friends, right?"

"In your head we can be best friends, we can be whatever you want" BDI ANYONE??????? also whatever- whatever he wants? :eyes: okay sorry no ill see myself out

"We're m- we are friends sk-" M- MARRIED WAS HE GONNA SAY MARRIED DID HE PULL A QUACKITY OH MY GOD I HATE THIS GUY OH MY GOD /pos but also like in a bawling my eyes out way

the egg is more than just a friend? skep u good there pal do u have smth to tell us

"You don't know what it's like." OH HERE HE GOES. HERE HE GOES HERE IT COMES OH NO.

The way Bad stutters i really thought he was gonna say something REALLY IMPACTFUL

"I have done so much for you, for our friendship and now you're trying to tell me we're not friends anymore?" LEAVE ME ALONE

I JUST CAUGHT THE BLOOPER HE SAID ON ME INSTEAD OF HANG OUT WITH ME IM CRYING OH MY GOD BAD HOW DID U FUCK THAT UP oh my god I imagine him mentally going like oh my gosh out of all the things that could be messed up THAT WAS SO FUNNY

ahaha my dads are fighting help

"You think you've done anything? You seriously think that?" *looks at my fic where bad feels worthless because the egg said so* ahah... I'm sorry?

"You left me for a long, long long time before you even checked up on me, okay?" he's not wrong,,,, he's not wrong why does this hurt sm,,,,, "and now all of a sudden you care about me?" OH MY GOD PLEASE I HATE THIS EGG

I see them... i see them approaching the lava blocks..

"the past doesn't matter" the egg wanting to erase their relationship so much,,,, i wanna cry because then if bad doesn't have skeppy he just has nothing right and then,,, then he can be another empty vessel for the fucking egg I hate this mI hate this so much

Also!!! little things I noticed!! Bad taking away part of the vine and also mining a red block? Without being affected at all? MHHHH

"I just wanted us to hang out like we used to" BAD'S VOICE CRACKING AGAIN STOP I WILL CJRYSD

"I did all of this for you and I didn't want the egg to take that away" you see how fucking tragic this is. Like Skeppy sacrificed himself so his friend could stop being infected. Bad sacrificed literally the whole server himself included to get him back. And then it comes down to this. The egg separating them a thousand fucking miles away. I hate this it's so sad

the selfish bit please no stop

THE LAVA BAD THE LAVA PLEASE IT'S TOO CLOSE

the fucking shaking with rage thing got me BROOOO I LOVE WHEN BAD DOES THE LITTLE THINGS IN GAME

"IT'S JUST A STUPID EGG" FUCKING FINALLY YOU TELL HIM BAD but then oh no oh no would you look at that huh. cant fucking have shit in dsmp. the way he immediately just screams for him right after

YOU CAN HEAR THE TEARS IN HIS VOICE and also mine hi I'm sobbing again

BDI FUCKING CANON LET'S GOOOOOOO WE CALLED ITTTT

(Dreamscape?)Skeppy being actually concerned with him haha this doesn't hurt at all!!!

*stares at black screen* I'm fine.

Thank you for listening to my ramble I am hurting so much bestie

[221bsunsettowers]

idk if you're still taking prompts, but if you are... Eddie saying #14 from the caretaker dialogue prompt to Buck?

I’m always taking prompts, they are what keep me writing! :)

14) “You’re so cold...”

(This takes place during 3x05, in the grocery store, post Eddie and Buck’s fight. From there, it veers off canon. Also, there are a few mentions of blood in the beginning.)

Buck watched the team run out of the grocery store and into the parking lot, watched them start to handle whatever road rage incident was currently occurring. He stood there, an observer, a damn outsider, seeing Eddie with his back unprotected, an empty space where Buck knew he should have been.

But he’d blown that, hadn’t he? He’d tried so hard to get back to his team, to Eddie, and instead he was alone in a grocery store, holding a jar of that applesauce Chris liked the best (Buck had promised him they would learn how to make homemade applesauce, but that was never going to happen now, was it?), no one to share it with.

Another loud yell came from the parking lot, startling Buck out of his isolated mind, and the jar dropped, smashing on the floor. “Shit,” Buck muttered, bending down without thinking to clean up the mess.

A sharp slash of pain shot through his hand, and Buck winced, glancing down to see a large gash sliced across his palm, blood pouring out onto the piece of glass that had caused the unexpected issue. 

Rational Buck knew he was still on blood thinners, knew this was most likely a highly problematic injury, but the Buck who had been left alone in the aisle of the grocery store simply went through the motions, figured he could fix this up himself when he got home. Added gauze and large bandages to his basket, apologized for the mess as he paid for his groceries, and began walking out the door.

The door seemed really far away, much farther than normal, and the sounds from outside that had previously been so loud were now almost completely muted. Buck felt like he was trudging his way through swamp mud, every lift of the foot an effort, and why was he so damn cold all of a sudden? Was the cashier yelling something? Buck was suddenly too tired to turn around to find out. 

Too exhausted. Too exhausting. Right. Made sense. Too exhausting to be Buck, to be around Buck. Buck was glad he was too tired to hold onto any of these thoughts for too long, he imagined they might finish what Eddie had started, finish ripping Buck apart from the inside out if he could really get at the root of them.

Stumbling into the door seemed to make it open, so Buck found himself tripping an exit from the store, falling onto his knees. He let out an involuntary scream as he landed hard on his injured hand, then stared at the blood as it made rivers, following cracks in the sidewalk, creating pools in the crevices.

Oh, Buck thought. Oh, that’s bad. Oh, shit. He had never even considered this pathetic way of dying alone when he thought about it.

Then there were hands on his forearms, and he knew those hands, knew them better than his own, but when he tried to focus on Eddie’s face everything blurred together, so he closed his eyes.

“Buck! Don’t you dare close your eyes! Buck!” Eddie was screaming, and then-”Open your eyes, Evan!” 

Oh, Buck thought. That was new. That was nice. Evan sounds nice.

Buck tried so hard to blink his eyes open, he didn’t want to disappoint Eddie yet again, but everything kept getting just that little bit darker, that little bit heavier. He felt the combination of familar touches on his hands, Eddie’s skin, gauze wrapping tight, and then he was swaying backwards, the effort of staying even a little upright completely impossible.

“Hen!” Eddie screamed, his voice sounding hoarse, and then Buck felt the pressure switch, someone else tying the gauze off tight while Eddie encircled Buck from behind, arms around his chest, and Buck’s head landing limply on Eddie’s shoulder.

“You’re so cold...” Eddie choked out, voice shaking with a terror and sorrow Buck couldn’t understand, not in any sort of recent context, not in any world where that lawsuit existed. 

Buck knew the answer to this one, tried to get out "From blood loss," show he still knew what he was doing, but he was just too tired. The last thing he sensed was being picked up and carried off in Eddie's arms.

***

The beeping was what woke him up. By now, Buck thought, you would think that sound wouldn't even phase me, the number of times I've been in this hospital. He kept his eyes tightly closed. If he didn't open them, then he didn't have to see that he was alone again. That Eddie had just done what any firefighter would have, got the patient to the hospital and left.

"Didn't leave, Buck." Buck felt the comforting pressure of Eddie's calloused fingertips circling around his wrist, Eddie's breath on his skin as Eddie let out a soft, sad chuckle that sounded so much like a sob, Eddie's voice shaking as he said, "I never should have left you for even a second."

"Add thinking out loud to the list of stupid things I've done," Buck whispered, keeping his eyes closed as he turned his head away from the sound of Eddie's voice.

"Buck, what were you thinking?" Eddie asked, but there was no anger in his voice, only sadness teetering right on the edge of full despair. "You know you're on blood thinners, you saw how much you were bleeding, and your plan was what exactly? Did you really think you could get yourself home and just wrap that up with some gauze and be fine? We were right outside!"

"I'm already too exhausting," Buck mumbled, tears stinging his eyes as he pressed them tightly closed. "Didn't need to add to that. I need to get used to being alone, taking care of myself. Was always going to end up alone anyway."

"Buck, what-I don't-Buck, please look at me," Eddie pleaded. Buck felt Eddie's hand graze his cheek, cup it gently. "Evan, please look at me." Buck let himself lean into Eddie's touch, couldn't stop himself even if he could bring himself to try. Opening his eyes, there was Eddie, looking absolutely wrecked. His eyes were red and watering, hair disheveled, nails picked at to the point of splitting. 

Buck opened his mouth, but before he could speak, Eddie put a finger up and shook his head. "You are not allowed to ask if I am okay," Eddie choked out, rubbing his hands over his face. "It doesn't matter how I am, it matters how you are, Buck." Reaching over, Eddie grabbed Buck's uninjured hand, clutching it to his chest. "I need you to believe that, I need you to believe that it matters how you're doing."

"But I screwed everything up," Buck insisted, and Eddie shook his head.

"Buck, you just wanted to get back to doing your job, none of us could have known what that lawyer would do," Eddie assured him. "And we, the team, we want you back. I want you back."

"You do?" Buck hadn't known his voice could come out sounding so small. Apparently Eddie hadn't either, and Buck watched as fresh tears sprang into Eddie's eyes.

"There's nothing I want more in the world," Eddie promised, before taking a deep breath and lifting Buck's hand to his lips. "I'm so sorry. I screwed everything up. You matter so much to me, Evan. You are worth everything to me and to Christopher." He punctuated his words with soft kisses to Buck's fingertips.

"That's really nice," Buck said, voice stronger, a smile catching the corners of his lips, and Eddie sighed in relief, shaking his head with a laugh as he kept a grip on Buck's hand.

"What, the apology, or the kisses?" Eddie teased, resting his chin on their intertwined fingers.

"Well, both of those of course," Buck teased back, and then his voice grew serious. "And the part where you called me Evan, and when you told me..." Buck tilted his head back, trying to blink back tears. "When you told me I matter. That I'm worth something."

"Everything, Evan, you are worth everything," Eddie said firmly, pushing the chair aside to climb onto the hospital bed, carefully perching himself as close as he could to Buck. He carefully picked up Buck's bandaged hand, holding it delicately between his own like it was something precious. "You have to take care of yourself, and you have to let me take care of you, please. When I saw you outside the store, I was terrified. I can't lose you. I get worried when you get a damn papercut, let alone when I see you seemingly bleeding out like that."

"I'm so sorry, Eddie," Buck said earnestly, looking up at Eddie. "I had every intention of fixing myself up at home, I really thought I could do it by myself."

"I know," Eddie sighed, "I promise I know that. But you don't have to, okay? You don't have to do that alone, you don't have to do anything alone. I'm here. I'm not leaving. Christopher will be here as soon as Carla gets him from school. The whole team is out there in that waiting room, Maddie's on her way from work. You're not alone, Buck. You can let that worry go."

And oh, Buck thought, that's new. That's nice. Not worrying about being alone.

And then Buck found himself sobbing, full body cries, and Eddie was pulling him into his chest, holding him tight, murmuring soft words into his hair, words like love and got you and it's okay, it's going to be okay, always, Evan always.

When Eddie's lips moved from Buck's hair to Buck's mouth, it felt like a natural progression, that this was always where they were heading, all along. Together.

[fleetwoodmak99]

Primed for Sin (2/10)

SUMMARY: This is Arthur's point of view of meeting Elena and the effect it has on him. Arthur doesn't really know what he's gonna do but he doesn't know that she's the one.

WARNING: Delusions, masturbation, smut, stalking, smoking weed and mental illness (Borderline Personality Disorder and PBA)

Please kindly do not read this if these offends or triggers anyone. Im always here to listen if someone needs it.

Hey again. This is part 2 of idk how many parts to the Primed for Sin story. Like I said before idk where I'm gonna go with this but this chapter is gonna be more dark when it talk about stalking and mental illness. I decided to have Elena too have stuggles with mental illness as well because I felt it better represent what I'm going through with my own mental health. So I apologize if I offend anyone or if anyone feels misrepresented.

Primed for Sin Part 1

Arthur could feel his whole body ache as he sat on the couch in the apartment he shared with his mother. His legs bounced as he sat back on the couch. One of his hands coming up to his mouth to take a drag of a cigarette while the other one held the boys toy train. He could feel another one of his laughing fits hit once again.

He couldn't help the raging fits of laughter that escaped him as he felt the sharp pain of anxiety shocking his body. He remembers the events that had happen earlier that day.

He tried to think of something else, anything else but he couldn't stop himself from thinking of how beautiful that girl was when she had smiled at him earlier. How she smelled of peppermint, it reminded him of Christmas. Even though he never really was able to really celebrate it, something about the season always brought him comfort.

He felt his pain starting to ease as the laughter once again started to die down for what seemed to be the millionth time today. Ever since this morning he's been having laughing attacks left and right. He squeezed the toy train even harder. His thoughts beginning to roam again. He didn't know anything about that girl but he knew he needed to know more. No, craved to know more. There was nothing that would keep him from her. He already knew this, he just didn't know how far he would take himself for it.

He imagined that she would be the perfect good girl for him. She's already seemed to be a mother figure which delighted Arthur. Maybe one day she would be round with his child.

No. Stop it Arthur, he thought to himself. There will be plenty of time for that. For now, he wanted to know more about the boy she was with. Who was he to her? Her son? Has she been with another man? Is she a virgin?

The thoughts ran rapid through his head as he started to spiral. Nothing made him more upset than thinking about another man's hands on her. So he did what his thoughts told him to do. He gathered information on her. Anything he could find. The easiest way to do this was to follow the woman as she goes about her day. He knew it was wrong, the small voice in his head told him so but there there even larger voices telling him to go through.

After a few days of this, he was able to find out more about the sweet girl. Her name was Elena Wheeler. She worked at a comedy club, one that Arthur had gone to often. She did singing gigs on the side while she bartended for the most part. Arthur noticed she like to cover 50s songs as well as write some of her own songs. Arthur would find himself relax while enjoying her voice each night. She would work this job most days while the boy would go to a behavioral center for children.

The boy on the other hand wasn't her son but her younger brother, yet she was the one who had custody over him. This was most likely so he too wouldn't end up in the system.

This gave Arthur some relief as his virgin theory might be true. He'd watch the two of them interact with one another. Almost being jealous of the way they played together. He wish he had that with someone. He will, soon.

It was obvious that the boy had some major abandonment issues. He would cry every time she would kiss him goodbye. Only calming down hours later when he's starts watching a cartoon or until she returns. But Arthur could also tell that Elena had some issues of her own. She too would be antsy every time she was away from the child. Never allowing herself to rest until she knew she was ok.

Arthur would watch her through the window of the complex building. One thing he did notice immediately was the constant hits from a bong. He was honestly surprised how much she could smoke. If she were drinking, he would actually be concerned for her. The girl was small and shouldn't take much to get a high yet there she was coughing up a storm from hitting it so much. Michael was in the other room watching his Thomas show. Arthur couldn't help but wonder why she did this so much. Maybe she was lonely too.

Arthur was able to keep track of her favorite things, what upset her, what made her happy. Everything and anything. He would notice her moods would change frequently. She would be happy one minute and crying the next especially when she was away from Michael. He could see her trying her best to hold it together for the little guy. He really did. His heart leaped just watching it. His heart leaped even more when he saw he watching the Murry Show being played most nights after putting Michael to bed. She's perfect.

Arthur started to understand her more when he was able to get his hands on some of her records. He won't say how but let's just say he has his ways aka breaking and entering. He was glad he did when he saw an entire file dedicated to her.

She had been diagnosed with Boderline personality disorder when she was 18. She herself had been in behavioral centers for having difficulty controlling her anger. She also lived in foster home for most of her childhood it seemed since both her parents abandoned her when she was around 4 years old. Even though her parents had started coming in and out of her life when she turned 18, she never really gained anything from it.

It saddened Arthur to see she had had to struggle so much but that just seems to be a common theme around here in Gotham.

_________________________________________

After a long day of clowning around at his extremely emotionally draining job. He had done his nightly routine of watching Murray and cooking for his mother. After what seemed like an eternity, his mother had finally drifted off into sleep. He felt himself finally relax and with this he let his mind wander.

He wanted to see her. Just see her face. That's all he needed. Even if it was through a window in the freezing cold in the ally way behind the building. Luckily she didn't live on a high floor. That was enough for him to take action.

Arthur quietly grabbed his coat and shoes as he slipped out the door and into the cold. He shivered as the coolness hit his body.

Finally making it to his usual spot for that last few days and set himself up, only looking up when he was finished. His eyes focused on Elenas apartment window. It was dark with the only light coming from the TV in one of the bedrooms. He figured she had put Michael to bed because he could see her all alone, he paused, in only a gray tank top and black panties.

His heart started to race and he could already feel his throat starting to react. The laughter was ready to pour out.

Maybe this isn't a good idea, he thought to himself as he started to reach down to grab his things.

Yet he still couldn't tear his eyes from what he was seeing. Her tangled in the covers with her short brown hair all messy from moving around. It certainly was a sight to see. His cock agreed as it immediately started becoming hard.

The small voice in his head told him to stop. He knew it was wrong to watch her but when her hand started to move up and down her bare leg he knew he couldn't turn away. It was like she knew he was there almost. Like she was putting on a show just for him.

He grew harder and harder the more he watched. Watching her eventually making her way down to her panties, slipping her hand just inside. It didn't take long for her face to start turning and her body to start squirming. It didn't take long before he became hard enough it started to hurt leaning against his pants. He wanted to relieve himself so bad. More importantly he wanted to relieve himself in her but knew that couldn't happen right now.

He couldn't take it anymore when she started to grab at the sheets of the bed. He pulled out his cock that was already leaking with precum. Arthur didn't get a lot of action so when he did he just couldn't contain himself.

Arthur placed his dick in his hand as he started to slowly pump himself. He tried to match the same movements as her, trying to think it was her hand instead. He imagined they would be gentle and soft. His were the total opposite.

He imagined her saying his name. Whispering as she cums or screaming it as he fucked her. He knew he wasn't gonna be able to last long with all these dirty thoughts roaming his head. To his delight she couldn't seem to either. Elenas back was arched as her hands started to tease her breasts underneath her tank top.

He was right as her body started to shake, her chest move up and down swiftly as she starts to come down from her high. This gave Arthur the silent ok for him to cum as well. And when this boy cums, he cums everywhere. He just can't hold himself back. Shamefully cumming in a nearby trashcan so no one would see.

He quickly cleaned himself up, looking up and down the ally to make sure no one is watching. He couldn't help the connection he felt with her. She was so sweet the first time they meet and she's perfect now weak against her mattress.

Ok its time to make a move.

[carnalpleasure]

this one turned out way longer than i expected and it’s too long to post under a cut??? idk how tumblr works ok. but you finally get a lil taste of warlock!richard🔥😏 or would it be hawthorne!richard ?

anyways i think this ones pretty cute and im even more excited to go write the next part <3 thank u to everyone thats read this far 🥺 ILY

Light My Fire

The Warlock Council had been eagerly anticipating the arrival of their newest student. They’d planned to meet Richard bright and early that morning, but Michael insisted on letting him sleep in and rest up. So Ariel reluctantly postponed the meeting until all the classes were done for the day. And yet, they still were late to arrive. The master warlocks were quickly losing patience as they sat in their usual conference hall, once again debating on whether or not Richard even belonged there.

“Baldwin, you’re being naive,” John Henry said, his frustration evident in his voice. “The boy doesn’t possess any powers, he is being possessed,” he urged.

“How can you be so sure, John Henry?” Ariel interjected. “You said the same thing about Michael and look at what an asset he’s turned out to be.”

“I’m still not convinced on that one yet either,” John Henry muttered.

They had been debating this ever since Ariel received the tape from a frightened nurse at the clinic. She didn’t want anything to do with Richard anymore after seeing that footage, but she didn’t have the heart to turn him into the authorities since they couldn’t prove he was responsible either. Ariel and Baldwin only wanted to believe that the young boy was a powerful, promising warlock. While John Henry and Behold were less optimistic, believing it to be just a typical case of demonic possession.

Just as John Henry was taking out his pocket watch again to check the time, the tall arched door creaked open, echoing through the halls of the hallow room. Michael walked in first while Richard stood hesitantly in the doorway, his messy bangs partially hiding his face. Michael turned back to him, nodding for him to follow. “Come on,” he said softly, coaxing him in. The quiet brunette rushed to his side, like a shy little kid clinging to his mom’s leg in the grocery store.

“Richard! We’re so glad you made it! How was the trip?” Ariel perked up as soon as he saw the boys, quickly forgetting all about the argument. He walked right up to Richard, putting his hands on the boys shoulders and giving him the biggest, fakest smile the pissed off boy had ever seen. He quickly took a step back, pulling away from Ariel’s grip and giving him a look of pure hate and disgust. He hated this guy already. He was so arrogant, the way he talked, treating him like an old friend when he’d never met this man. But putting his hands on him? That irritated him more than anything.

Ariel was either oblivious to his anger, or he was ignoring it. But he moved right on without skipping a beat. “Well then, gentlemen. Shall we proceed with the first test?” He looked back at the other three warlocks, as if waiting for applause. His voice was rich with excitement as he returned to his seat at the table. He seemed overeager and it made Richard uncomfortable. He scooted closer to Michael, shooting him a nervous look. The anxiety was nearly radiating off him at this point.

Michael put his hands behind his back, like how he always stood when he was observing something of importance. But he had a different reason for it this time. He snapped his fingers to discreetly get Richard’s attention, signaling him to take his hand. The brunette reached for his hand right away and the boys locked fingers behind Michael’s back without the other warlocks ever noticing. It helped a bit, Richard’s heart rate started to slow and some of the tension melted away.

The four master warlocks were sat at the table like a panel of judges. They all remained straight faced and silent as Ariel took over, proceeding with the test. “Now Richard, since it is your first time using magic, we’ll start small. Today’s test will be a simple one. Any level one warlock can eventually master this.” As if on cue, Baldwin produced a single candle and set it on the center of the table. Michael let go of his hand then. He moved his hand to the small of Richard’s back and lightly nudged him forward.

“Pyrokinesis,” Ariel announced, “The ability to-“

“I know what it means,” Richard interrupted.

Ariel paused, his enthusiastic smile turning cold. This boy was testing his patience, although he’d never show it. Ariel was a master of masking his emotions. “Such a smart boy,” he said dryly. “Well then, let’s see if you can figure out how it’s done. Light the candle.”

Richard froze. That’s it? No directions? No magic spell? How the hell do you start a fire with nothing? He wanted to find out how just so he could burn this ridiculous place down.

Michael’s hand returned to Richard’s lower back, the small touch assuring him he was still right by his side. “Concentrate,” Michael’s tone was soft and soothing. “Think of the wick as someone that’s hurting you, think about how you would focus your rage towards that person, then direct it there.” Richard tried to listen to his words but he couldn’t focus on the candle, or on Michael. All he could feel was the pressure building. These four powerful men had all eyes on him, waiting for him to practically perform a miracle. His heart started to pound again, his hands shaking, feeling like his skin was crawling.

Without thinking, he turned around and ran for the door, stumbling into the hallway and trying to remember which direction they came from. Michael immediately went after him, “Hey, wait. Come here,” he pleaded, reaching out to grab him gently by the arm. Richard tried to shake him off and pull away but Michael grabbed him with both hands and pulled him into his chest where the brunette collapsed in his arms instantly. He buried his face in Michael’s chest trying to hide his shame. His burning red cheeks and watery eyes gave it away. Richard never cried unless it was tears of rage.

“I’m not like you, I can’t..” he grumbled into Michael’s chest. The blonde had his arms wrapped around him, running a hand through his soft brown hair soothing him almost instantly. “You’re just nervous,” Michael replied, his tone soft and forgiving. “Let me help you,” he whispered pleading, his lips brushing against Richard’s ear lightly as he spoke. Richard’s whole body started trembling at the sensation. Feeling the boy’s sudden reaction gave Michael an idea.

He ran his hand carefully up Richard’s chest to his neck, slowly letting his fingers wrap around the boy’s throat. Richard’s eyes went wide, completely taken by surprise as he felt Michael’s grip tighten, forcing him to look up at the blonde. The look on Michael’s face was seductive yet sinister as he leaned in, painfully slow, pressing their lips together and kissing Richard for the first time. Ever. Richard had never been kissed before by anyone and the brand new sensation sent sparks flying. Literally.

Every candle in the entire corridor burst into flames and the whole room was suddenly illuminated in a bright orange glow. The chandeliers started to swing violently and the hallway was filled with warmth. They pulled away from the kiss just in time to see that last of the light show. The candles flickered wildly and the last sounds of crackling fire echoed through the halls.

“Did you do that?” Richard asked, looking up at Michael in shock. He started to get angry, feeling like he’d just fallen for a trick. But the blonde shook his head, beaming with pride as he looked back at the boy. “No, baby. That was all you.”

A look of confusion crossed the brunettes face, his brows furrowing together as he took a moment to process what just happened. After a minute his eyes shot up to meet Michael’s gaze again. “How did you know it would work?” he asked.

Michael smiled, “Magic is a feeling. I just needed to make you feel something.”

Richard thought about that answer for a moment before reaching up to steal another kiss, surprising Michael yet again. Then he grabbed the boy by the hand and dragged him back into the meeting room where the Wizard Council had begun packing up their things for the day.

“You came back,” John Henry said dryly. “We were beginning to think you checked back into the clinic.” Michael wanted to burn the guy’s face off for even saying such a thing. He shot John Henry a look that was just short of demonic, it was a warning more than an intimidation.

“I can do it now,” Richard professed. His body was still buzzing from the kiss and he felt more sure of himself than ever. The only thing that could possibly feel as good as this, would be wiping the smug looks of their faces now.

“You’re late, we don’t have time-“ Baldwin started to shut him down but Ariel waved a hand, signaling him to be silent. “Let’s be fair now, Baldwin. Give the boy another shot. Why not.” Ariel sounded sarcastic and uninterested, as if he didn’t believe Richard.

“Really, Ariel? What’s the point?” John Henry asked, taking out the pack of cigarettes he always carried in his breast pocket. He put one to his lips, but before he could even reach for his lighter, the tip of the cigarette sparked, lighting up and glowing cherry red. It took John Henry by surprise and he inhaled too quickly, sucking in a harsh cloud of smoke and coughing.

The other warlocks all turned immediately to look at Richard, looks of shock and disbelief on their faces. It wasn’t as big as the display Michael had just witnessed in the hall, that’s for sure. But it definitely got the point across and got their attention. Ariel’s face lit up and a smile formed from ear to ear.

“That was excellent, Richard! You passed your first test!” he said with a laugh, his ego skyrocketing as his suspicions about the boy were affirmed. It was a small display of power, yes. But it was a sure indicator that the power was there. And that was all Ariel needed to know to officially induct him into the prestigious school.

“It’s settled then! Tomorrow morning. You’ll start attending classes with Michael right away. The two of you have a lot of studying to do.” He put a hand on each of the boy’s shoulders, giving them a tight squeeze and looking at both of them like a proud dad would stare into the eyes of his sons. It made Richard feel unsettled, and Michael feel adored.

He dismissed the meeting then, sending the boys back to their room to get plenty of rest for tomorrow’s next test. As soon as they were out in the hall, Michael snaked his arms around Richard’s waist, pulling the brunette in close for another kiss. Richard put his hands on the blonde’s face, running them up into his hair and grabbing a fistful of his blonde curls roughly. “Come on,” he mumbled between kisses, “let’s go make some magic.”

💕taglist: @sexwon131 @jimmason @whatcodysaid @theneverendinghunger @angelicmichael @langdons-butterfly @thewarriorprincessxo

[buckyscrystalqueen]

Little Soul Mate

Pairings: Crowley x Reader, Crowley x Age Regressed Reader

Warnings: Swearing??? IDK I put it for everything. Age regression.

Word Count: 4,597

A/N: So this story is a paused fic I have had in my files for two years that doesn’t really have a set ending because I couldn’t come up with anything else. I just want to give y’all some more content I guess. Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Terrified didn’t even begin to describe what you were feeling. You sat as deep into the corner of your apartment complex’s laundry room as physically possible as something monstrous clawed at the thankfully steel doors to get to you. Your two personalities raged in your brain, as tears streamed down your face. You tried to scream for help but the sound caught in your throat each time.  You managed to squeak out ‘Daddy’ for a man that hadn’t existed in your life in months as the monster finally burst through the door. You closed your eyes, and curled up into yourself a little more as the beast lunged toward you before a gun shot rang out through the room.

You continued to sob and shake as the beast landed at your feet, spraying blood from the hole in his jugular across your baby Tigger slippers, your jean overalls, and the orange long sleeved, off shoulder sweater shirt you had on. You could barely hear someone ask if you were alright as adult you sobbed and slowly slipped away, and little you screamed in your mind in sheer terror, but you yelped when someone touched your knee. Your head whipped back and forth as you began to rock and beg your daddy to come back.

“What’s she saying?” Dean asked his brother as the pair of them watched you cover your ears. Sam shrugged his shoulders.

“We gotta get her out of here.” Sam said as he looked at the werewolf at his feet.

“Dude. She’s fucking crazy.” Dean said as he kicked the beast with the toe of his boot.

“She was just attacked by a fucking werewolf, of course she’s a little crazy.”

“Are you lot really going to just stand around with your thumbs up your asses all bloody day?” Crowley asked as he leaned in the door way, always up for annoying the boys. His eyebrows cocked as he looked at you, huddled in the corner. “What’s wrong with her?”

“Don’t know.” Dean said as he pocketed his gun. “Found her like this.” The King’s brow furrowed as he took a step closer to hear what you were mumbling. His brow furrowed further as he listened to the conflicting yet parallel thoughts in your head, and he quickly made the wolf disappear, as a need to comfort filled his twisted soul for the first time in decades.

“I’ve got her, boys.” He said as he came over and crouched down in front of you. “Hello, little one.” He said softly as Sam and Dean cleared out. “What’s wrong?” You shook your head as your pleas for help fell silent on your lips. “Alright. How about you come with me, and we can get you out of those filthy clothes. I don’t think Tigger appreciates the yuck, does he?” You shook your head again and looked up at him through your lashes with a sniffle. He smiled at you and held out his hand, patiently.

“I’m scared.” You whispered as you looked over at the broken door. “It’s scary.”

“I know it is.” Crowley agreed with a nod. “But I promise, I can protect you from that mean, scary beast.” You were so terrified, the concept of trusting this man at face value with your deepest, darkest secret didn’t even cross your mind. Very slowly, you reached out and slipped your blood splattered hand into his. “There’s a good girl. How about we go find a cup of milk and some cartoons, huh?”

“Chocolate?” You whispered as he pulled you to your feet. 

“That sounds wonderful, little one.”

——

Crowley watched you in awe as you sat on the floor of your pastel pink spare bedroom, coloring in a ‘My Little Pony’ coloring book, surrounded by stuffed animals to keep you safe. He pushed himself back and forth in your rocking chair, trying to figure out just why he, a soulless, narcissistic prick, gave a damn about the strange woman in front of him. He wasn’t any sort of caregiver; nothing like the man that you had been crying for in the basement. He also wasn’t a complete asshole like that man either. But he couldn’t help but consider the idea. But how he would go about being a caregiver in his position?

“Look it!” You said, pridefully as you picked up the book, and showed it to him.

“You did that?” He asked as he stopped rocking, and leaned forward in the chair. “That’s incredible!”

“That’s Pinkie Pie.” You said as you scooted toward him, and pointed out the characters. “And that’s Applejack. See, she’s here, too!” You said, excitedly, as you handed him the book, and grabbed the stuffed animal version of your drawing from the pile. “She’s my favorite pony.”

“Well it’s nice to meet you, Applejack.” Crowley said with a smile as he reached out, and shook the stuffed animal’s leg before he even thought the action through.

“She likes you.” You said as you sat back on your heels in front of him, and looked at your pony. “She thinks you seem trustable. She didn’t…” You said before your voice fell off. You bit your lip, and tears welled in your eyes as your adult brain tried to protect your innocent little side from the memory of your ex.

“Little one.” Crowley said as he leaned forward, and rested his arms on his knees. “How’s about I put a movie in for you before you take a nap. Since I know you’re safe, I’ll leave you here for now. And, tomorrow, we can go out to dinner to get to know each other. Big or Little you, I’m fine with both.” You nodded your head slowly as the adult in you took over for a moment.

“Is that thing coming back?” You whispered as you looked up at him with tear filled eyes. 

“I swear to you, you are safe. I know my word means nothing yet but it’s the truth.” He reached out, and very gently wiped away your tears. You whispered ‘OK’ and nodded against his palm. “Alright, little one. Let’s see what cute pajamas you have.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Crowley sat on his throne, ignoring the rambling demon in front of him as he responded to little you and your unbelievable facts about orcas (because there was no way a whale weighed a gazillion tons) and big you regarding dinner plans that night. In less than twenty four hours, you had some how weaved your way into every inch of his brain. A small smirk pulled at the corner of his lips as Little sent another photo, introducing him to Perry the Porg (whatever a porg was. Looked more like a penguin to him), when Sam’s caller ID photo popped up on his screen. He sighed and stood up, walking out of his throne room in the middle of his minion’s sentence.

“What d’you want, Moose?”

“Hey, we’re trying to wrap up here in town. Did you give that girl the speech?”

“I’m taking care of it.” Crowley said as he glanced at his phone and the text from you about your hesitation on going out for dinner. 

“It’s no big deal.” Sam said. “We’re cleaning up now, and we can head over…”

“I said I fucking have it!” He snapped! “What part of that fucking sentence do you not understand?” He hung up the phone and pulled up your texts with a shake of his head. He waited a few minutes, sending you a couple more texts to make it appear that he was ‘driving over’ before transporting himself to your apartment. He made sure that he had a different tie on than the night before, and that the scent of sulfur was gone from his suit before knocking on your door. He huffed a laugh when he heard your small squeal, and took a step back to wait for you to open the door.

“You made it.” You said with a smile as you pulled on the side of your knee length, black dress. “Come in!”

“You look amazing, kitten.” He said as he stepped into your apartment. “You ready to go?” You nodded your head slightly.

“You’re sure it’s safe?” You asked as you looked at the open door.

“I promise you. It’s safe.” He reassured as he held out his arm for you. You nodded and took it hesitantly but with every step you took toward the door, your grip tightened. You made it to the threshold when the twisted face of your neighbor running toward you stopped you cold, and sent your mind reeling.

“No.” You said as you put on the breaks, and dug your heels into the carpeted floor. “No, I can’t. Daddy, please! Please!”

“OK. OK.” Crowley said as he moved in front of you and gently pushed you a step back into your place. He shushed you softly, and pushed your apartment door closed as you burst into tears. “Hey, you’re alright, kitten.”

“He’s gunna come back.” You gasped with a frantic shake of your head. “He’s coming…”

“Little love.” He cooed as he wrapped his arms around you and pulled your shaking body into his chest. “Breathe for me.”

“I can’t.” You gasped. Crowley nodded and slowly walked you back to your couch.

“Alright, here we go. Sit down for me.” You nodded and let him lead you into a seat. He sat down beside you with a sigh, wondering briefly just how Sam and Dean dealt with people after they learn about the supernatural on a regular basis. “There’s my girl. I was in the mood for a nice slice of pizza anyways. So we stay inside for our first date.” He smiled and ran his hand down your leg to take off your heels with a smile. “My vote is for peppers and mushrooms.” Your nose scrunched as he tossed your shoes aside, and pulled your legs across his lap.

“Eww.” Crowley laughed as he grabbed one of your many blankets from the shelf under your coffee table and spread it out across your lap.

“So what does my little girl want then?” He asked as he wrapped the blanket around you. 

“Cheese.” You whispered as you took the offered handkerchief from Crowley.

“Cheese it is.” He agreed. “I’ll place the order, while you find something on TV. Then we’ll talk after, alright?” You nodded your head as he passed you the remote before pulling out his phone to get one of his minions to pick-up a pizza for him. He smiled to himself as you scooted down on the couch beside him, and pulled up ‘Captain America: Civil War’. You set your remote aside and reached out to hold the side of Crowley’s suit jacket like a safety blanket. Once he hung up the phone, he held his arm out so you could scoot into it.

“You’re safe with me, little one.” He whispered as he kissed the top of your head, loving the smell of your coconut shampoo. “I know I just met you, but I swear to you, you are safe.” You nodded your head and laid your head on his chest for only a moment before someone knocked on your front door.

“Already?” You asked as You sat up while Crowley pulled the blanket off your lap. You headed over to the door, grabbing the cash Crowley held out to you on the way, and took a deep, steadying breath before opening it. Your head tilted the slighted bit to the side as a very tall man with long hair turned around with no pizza in his hands. “Can I help you?” You inquired as you held onto the door a little tighter, prepared to slam it closed if the man turned out to be a beast, too.

“Hi. My name is Sam. I umm… I was there yesterday when…” You heard Crowley sigh, loudly and you glanced over at him as he got up off your couch to come over to the door.

“Fucking part of ‘I’ve fucking got it’ did you not comprehend, Moose?” He asked as he put his hand on on the small of your back. “’s’alright, love. I know him.” Sam looked between the pair of you as you took a step back and partially hid behind Crowley. “You might as well come in. Bloody pain in my ass.” He very carefully turned you around and guided you back into the apartment as Sam shut the door behind him and followed you into the living room. 

“What is this?” You asked as Crowley guided you back to the couch.

“This.” He said as he turned off your TV. “Is the conversation I wanted to have after we ate. But apparently, some people are impatient.” He looked over, pointedly at Sam as he sat down on the other couch. Crowley sighed and looked back over at you, searching your (Y/E/C) eyes as he tried to find the words to say. 

“(Y/N), there is no easy way to say this, but it needs to be said. There are beasts in this world. Beasts that most people believe only exist in movies. Beasts like the werewolf that tried to attack you last night… and beasts like me.” Your brow furrowed as you tried to figure out just what he meant before he blinked and his eyes turned blood red. You were too stunned to move, too lost for words as Sam started to explain further. It took you a few moments as Crowley simply waited for your reaction.

“Are you gunna hurt me?” You whispered as tears welled in your eyes, not caring that Sam was talking at all.

“Never, kitten.” You nodded your head slowly as little moved your hand forward to brush your fingertips across his face beside his eye. His shoulders relaxed and he blinked his eyes back to their normal brown as Sam watched the exchange uncomfortably. 

“What are you?”

“A demon.” He answered honestly. “Actually, to be more specific, the King of Hell.”

“So… doesn’t that mean your dead?”

“Technically speaking.” He said with a nod. “But a few years past, Sam and his brother tried to cure me. So I have a partial soul.” You nodded your head slowly and glanced over at Sam.

“Do you sleep?” He smirked and shrugged his shoulders as he leaned against the back of the couch.

“Not typically. But I can fall asleep if I want.”

“Don’t demons like haunt people, and throw shit?” Crowley smiled as he ran his fingertips across your knee. 

“It’s our form of entertainment.” He chuckled. “But yes, I can make things move, and I can make myself invisible.” Your eyes went wide and a smile spread across your face as you shifted on the couch and crossed your legs.

“Do it! Pretty please?” With a slight nod and a huff, Crowley disappeared before your eyes. You could still feel his hand on your knee and could still see the impression of where he was sitting on the couch.

“When you’ve lived as long as I have.” His disembodied voice said as he made the vase on your table levitate. “You have to have some fun.” You gasped as the vase went flying across the room and hit Sam directly in the stomach. He grunted, and bent over double as the vase floated back to the table and Crowley reappeared with a smug smile. “Told you, I’d handle it.”

“Fuck you, Crowley.” Sam said as he got up. “I’d run, and run fast, (Y/N)…”

“Noted.” You said as someone else knocked on the door.

“I’ll see him out.” Crowley said as he picked up his money from the table. With a nod of your head, you sat back against the couch to try to wrap your head around the new news. After some yelling on Crowley’s part, he slammed your front door, and brought the pizza back for you with a smile. “It’s actually from Italy.” He said as he set it down on the table in front of you. “Perks of being the King.”

“Can I ask you something?” You said as you grabbed a slice and a tissue for a napkin. “Why would a demon show interest in someone like me?”

“Truthfully?” He said as he sat down beside you and crossed his legs. “I have no idea. Typically, I don’t tolerate people. But there’s something about you that I can’t walk away from even if I tried. And don’t ask what because I don’t have a bloody clue. You’re just something special. You’re too damn adorable.” Your face flushed and you curled into yourself as you tried to use your half eaten pizza to hide your face. “That doesn’t help your case, kitten.”

“Quit!” You whined as you poked his side with your toes. He chuckled as he reached out to rub your ankle.

“Sorry, kitten. Not possible.” You scrunched your nose at him and reached out to turn your TV back on with an embarrassed smile. You glanced over at his smiling face and turned a brighter shade of red.

“Will you quit!”

——

“She came around when I was in high school.” You said softly as you looked over at the closed spare bedroom door while leaning against Crowley’s side with your legs over his lap. “I was such a loner back then. My parents had gotten divorced the summer before my freshman year and started using me and my big sister as pawns in their divorce. It became a literal living hell and it got so bad, that my sister ran away. We haven’t seen or heard from here in years, and I got blamed for it. I didn’t know how to handle it all. So I started to regress.”

“Oh, kitten.” Crowley sighed as he brushed his hand up your shins.

“It’s OK.” You said with a shrug. “I survived it. And Little… well, she kinda just stuck around. I spend more time being little now a days than I do being big. It’s the only coping mechanism I know.”

“So what happened to your last ‘Daddy’?” He asked as he shifted a bit to see your face. You sighed deeply and ran your fingers through your hair as you met his eyes. 

“Michael was an asshole. He didn’t understand the concept of caregiver and basically just wanted a sex slave. He was a sweetheart to start out with but after a few months, being little got in the way. He wanted me to support him, wanted me to take care of him.” You scoffed and shook your head as you briefly relived the last fight you had before you locked him out of your apartment. “He wanted a woman that knew her fucking place in the world. And I wasn’t having it.”

“Good for you, kitten.” He said as he ran his fingers through your hair.

“I just… I had to protect the part of me that was there to protect me. It’s like a split personality but I’m aware of everything that happens in both mindsets and both mindsets are there all the time. Like now, the little half of me is singing the theme song to a classic show called ‘Popples’ on repeat. Which is annoying as hell but I just ignore it… usually. Sometime she’s insistent about it, though. And at that point, I just let her win.”

“She is quite the presence.” He chuckled. “Would you mind if I stuck around to get to know both of you? I don’t know much about this… hell, I’m not even sure I’d be good at it…”

“You would be.” You said with a nod. “Just the bit of protectiveness I’ve seen proves that.”

“Well thank you.” You nodded your head and gently pat his hand to get up to use the restroom.

“It takes a special someone to be a Daddy.” You said as you pulled the hair tie from your wrist and threw your hair up in a loose, messy bun. “It’s not for everyone.” If it was possible, Crowley’e heart stopped as he looked at the small, blob like, ‘L’ shaped birthmark on the back of your neck. It was something he never believed existed, no matter how many times he had looked at the exact same mark on his left arm for centuries on both his human body and his meat suit.

“Love, is that a birthmark?” Crowley asked as he gestured to the soul mate mark that explained everything about how he felt about you. You looked back at him as you reached back and rubbed your fingertip across the spot with a smile.

“That it is.” You said with a shrug as you paused in the doorway to the master bedroom. “I used to hate it because kids used to say it looked like a penis but I could never bring myself to have it removed. I’ll be right back. I wanna get out of this dress.” He nodded his head slowly as he reached up to absentmindedly press his thumb into his own mark.

“Well I’ll be fucking damned.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Guthrie what do you know about soulmates?” Crowley asked as he sat on his throne, scouring the internet for any sort of information on the apparently archaic concept. His second in command looked over at him from the clipboard in his hand with his eyebrows raised.

“Sir?” 

“I didn’t stutter.” He said as he exited out of another webpage with useless information.

“Well sir.” Guthrie breathed as he dropped the clipboard to his side. “When I was a boy, my mother used to tell us that they were called twin flames or twin souls. It translated to a single soul, split between two people, through multiple reincarnations to gain live experience, before meeting again in their final lifetime on the planet so that they may ascend together. Soul mates are different. They are part of a family that help you grow and evolve.”

“So twin flames are the common understanding of soulmates.” Crowley clarified as he switched his search to ‘twin flames’.

“As I understand it, yes.” The King nodded his head as he added ‘mark’ and ‘lore’ to the end of his search.

“Do you believe it could be possible that flames could transcend the realm of living and dead?” Guthrie looked back up from his clipboard as Crowley closed out another useless website.

“I don’t believe so, sir. It could be possible but since most of the deceased on Earth have no soul…” Crowley nodded his head as he turned off his screen and got up from his chair.

“You’re not helping.” He said before disappearing to the library of the Bunker. Sam barely glanced up from his research as Dean threw his book down on the table.

“Damn, and I was hoping to go one fucking day without seeing your face.”

“Shut it, Squirrel.” Crowley snapped as he quickly read the book titles on the shelves before walking over to grab the book he was looking for. Sam and Dean exchanged a glance as he pulled three books off the shelf, and headed over to one of the tables.

“What uh… what are you looking for?” Sam asked hesitantly.

“None of your bloody business.” Crowley snapped as he flipped through the first lore book for the information he wanted. He stopped when he found a page referencing soul marks. He let out a small sigh of relief as he picked up the book and started to read as he walked slowly toward the archway between the map room and the library. He leaned up against the pillar and made himself a drink as he tried to soak up every ounce of information he could.

“What the fuck is going on here?” Dean asked as he got up to see what Crowley was reading. He managed to get only part of one of the titles, before the books went flying across the room.

“Don’t be a nosy prat.” Crowley said, dismissively as he closed the book he was reading and grabbed it and the two others that were floating in mid air in front of him. “I’ll return these when I’m done with them.” He barely heard Sam’s sigh as he disappeared back to his personal chambers to finish reading until you texted him when you got home from your waitressing gig.

“Makes sense.” He mumbled as he sat down in front of his fireplace, and opened the next book that involved the Greek mythology book that he assumed would be able to expand on the  original knowledge he knew about soulmates. “Oh, kitten. What are we gunna do with all this?”

——

You hadn’t walked three feet into your apartment after yet another shitty day, when Crowley appeared directly in front of you. Your bottom lip popped out and tears welled in your eyes almost instantly as you dropped your purse on the ground. 

“They’re just so mean.” You cried as Crowley’s heart melted impossibly more.

“Come here, little one.” He cooed as he held open his arms. You nodded your head and shuffled forward as tears spilled from your eyes. He held you tight and kissed the top of your head with a smile. “Now what happened, kitten?”

“I got fired because I refused to spend another two hours after my shift ended doing someone else’s side work. I’m sick of being pushed around there!”

“Well then it’s a good thing you got fired, then, right?” He asked as he picked you up and carried you toward your bedroom to get you changed.

“Just another fucking job I can’t fucking do.” You squeaked.

“No, kitten.” He said as he set you down beside the bed. “It’s not that you can’t do the job… arms up.” You nodded your head and put your arms in the air as he tossed your old apron out of the bedroom. “You could do the job. It just shouldn’t have been your damn job to do other people’s work.” You nodded your head and sniffled as you held onto his shoulder and stepped out of you work shorts. “That is just asinine.”

“That’s what I said.” You agreed as he grabbed one of your many, blue, oversized sweaters and a pair of cloud patterned sleep shorts from your closet.

“Well you don’t need that, princess. You deserve so much better than that. Up.” You nodded your head in agreement as you lifted your arms in the air and let him put on your sweatshirt. “I brought you something.” You smiled at him and sniffled as he pulled the hem of your sweater into place over your shorts. He stood up straight and studied you for a moment before holding out his hand and making a tiny, stuffed turtle appear in his palm. “You didn’t have a turtle…” You squealed loudly and snatched the baby from his hand before he could even finish his sentence.

“He’s so cute!” You cooed as you cuddled the turtle to your chest like a baby. Crowley smiled and reached up to brush your hair back behind your ear.

“First, he needs a name.” He said. “Then, he needs to meet his brothers and sisters, right?” You nodded your head as you followed his lead into little space, letting the anxiety of losing yet another job slip away.

“Franklin.” You said as you looked up at him. He nodded his head and smiled at you with a small huff of a laugh.

“Franklin it is.”

[taetaesbaebaepsae]

Hellfire

A/n: SO this is wild I know but this is Taemin from Brimstone but reader in Hellfire is succubus!reader from Pomegranate Seeds. They have a bit of a past, you see. This serves as both Taemin’s backstory AND a sequel to Pomegranate Seeds, no I don’t know why I’m like this either.

Summary:  Even demons have a past, but Taemin didn’t expect you to show up in his present with a human boy on your heels and your horns shaved down.

Warnings: WELL OKAY HERE WE GO, edging (m. receiving), masturbation (male), needy desperate sub!JK under the effects of succubus pheromone withdrawal, bipanic!Jungkook, dom!Taemin (who is a switch but in this particular circumstance dominant), threesome (mmf), oral sex (m. receiving), talk of overstimulation and orgasm denial, reader is a real bratty sub as one would expect from a succubus, she’s living her best life being dominated by Taemin and dominating JK we stan, big angst tho idk fam 

Word Count: 4235

Taemin doesn’t think of you. At least, he tries not to, because he finds it distasteful, the way his throat aches, the way his mind goes all fuzzy...it’s unbecoming of demon royalty, having things like longing.

But he isn’t really given a choice when you pop into his chambers, cursing and stumbling.

“What the fuck, I---oh. Taemin.” 

Your voice goes flat when you say his name and he tries to pretend it doesn’t affect him.

Your hair is all mussed, face flushed, and was that....nubs of the horns you’d been growing? 

“Ah, my Persephone finally returns, yeah?” He says slowly, hoping the smile spreading across his face was a smirk and not as wistful as it felt.

When you flip your hair back over your shoulder a memory, unbidden, flashes through his mind.

“Ah...not like that, Persephone.”

“Will you stop calling me that? That’s not my fucking-” Your words were cut off when he wraps his fist in your hair, tugging hard, and a whimper leaves your mouth instead.

“You want me to let you do it wrong? Do you want to marry me after all, sweetheart? Is that why you won’t listen?” He hissed down into your ear, nipping at your earlobe when he pulls away.

You’d been bent over his chair, the one you mockingly called “his throne,” your ass in the air and him buried inside you, still, watching the line of your spine when you rocked back against him.

“Fuck you,” you bit back, and rolled your hips, this time the right way, the way he’d taught you, and he gritted his teeth to keep from moaning at the way your cunt gripped his cock.

“That’s it, Persephone,” he breathes instead. “That’s my girl.”

Taemin shakes his head to rid himself of the memory and pats his knee.

"Come and sit. Tell your betrothed all about your adventures."

You scowl at him, and he hates how it makes his heart feel light, the way you sit on the floor instead, always stubborn.

"I've been working, but ...I fucked up, Taemin. Will you...will you help me?"

You're looking up at him with those wide eyes again and he's almost angry, suddenly. He's almost angry because isn’t that all he's ever done? 

You should be in his bed, should be his wife but he'd taught you how to tease and tempt instead, taught you a trade so that your father would let you be independent.

He'd taught you how to leave him and never come back, and now you return to him smelling like humanity and gazing up at him with those big eyes of yours, asking for more help?

In the end, he leans forward in his chair and kisses the tip of your nose.

"I'll do what I can, Persephone. Tell me what you've done."

In the end, he listens even when rage is pounding in his ears at your tale, because Lee Taemin, demon prince, whether you wanted him or not, was irrevocably yours.

By the time you're done, his head is pounding.

"So let me get this straight."

You just look up at him expectantly.

"You were supposed to be corrupting an innocent."

You nod.

"And you did, but what, you just let him keep his soul?"

You nod again and Taemin takes a deep breath.

"Why?"

You scrunch up your nose and Taemin is an odd mix of smitten and infuriated.

"I dunno. I...I love him."

He isn't prepared for the pain that rockets through him at your words, and he masks it with a low chuckle.

"Persephone ...love? With a human?"

 He tsks at you and you stand up.

"Fine. If you're just gonna make fun of me, I'll ask Jimin."

His hand flies out to take your wrist. "Don't be ridiculous. Your father will never let you past the river Styx with an incubus." 

You look up at him and the panic in your eyes hurts more than anything you could have said.

"Taemin…"

"I know. There isn't much time. How long has it been now? A day? A strong one can probably go a week without-"

"He's not. He's not strong, he's….he was really an innocent. He won't last the week, Taemin, please-"

You clutch at his shirt and your hands on his skin makes his breath catch. "I'll do anything. I'll…. I'll marry you, if that's what you want, just take me to help him."

He looks down at you for a moment, searching your face and he hates himself for considering it, just for a moment.

"Y/n. Stop it. Such behavior is unbecoming for a princess, you know."

He takes your hands from his chest and holds them in your own.

"I'll take you. But he won't allow it now. We'll have to give it another day, make him think you're obeying his wishes."

You drop your hands, defeated. "Okay," you say quietly. "Okay, but I'm not sleeping in your bed."

"Still can't control yourself around me, Persephone?" He teases, mouth twisted in a bitter grin.

You look up at him, wide eyed. "Probably not," you admit, and your words shoot heat down his spine.

"I'll sleep on the floor. You take the bed." He says shortly, turning to get a blanket.

You let out a sound of protest and he smirks back at you over his shoulder.

"I want my sheets to smell like you again."

You roll your eyes but he can see the relief on your face, and he spends a long moment in the linen closet trying to control his breathing around the tightness in his chest

Later that night, he can hear you shifting, tossing and turning in bed.

"Taemin?" You call softly.

He lets out a long breath before answering. "Yes?"

"I can't sleep. Will you sing to me?"

It's incredible how a heart can shatter through without crumbling entirely, because he's thinking of a hundred times you'd said those words to him, remembers singing low in your ear with his arms wrapped tight around your waist, remembers how you'd sigh and relax against his chest.

It's been years since he's let himself think of the lullaby he sang to you all those years ago, but he finds he remembers every word, and you find sleep long before he does, his shattered heart still thumping stubbornly in his chest.

Jungkook watches you arguing with your father with his lip caught between his teeth.

You're pacing around the room and speaking in...Latin?

He wants to go to you, to soothe you,but you've warned him not to touch you when you're angry and he'd learned the hard way with a burn on his palm from trying to take your hand during a fight.

You whirl around to face him, suddenly, and there's panic in your eyes.

He reaches out to you, burns be damned but you disappear through the floor, a burning circle where you'd stood on the tile.

It takes a few hours before he panics, calling your phone over and over and it going straight to voicemail.

He tells himself it's just a night with your dad, and the fact that it's probably in hell is fine because you're a demon and...wow had it been a wild year.

Jungkook doesn't know what to do, so he goes to work out like always but in another few hours he's exhausted, muscles trembling and still anxious.

Anxious and….horny.

It'd been months, and you'd think he'd be used to it, the heat coiling in his stomach, his skin flushing everywhere, the ache right up his cock, but he doesn't know when you'll be back.

He ends up sitting on the couch, playing Mario Kart shirtless with a raging hard on, when a man appears in his living room, burning another circle on the floor.

He blinks and looks up at him.

"Hello," the man says, and Jungkook wonders if it's a rule that all demons must be ridiculously attractive.

"Um. Hi."

"Jungkook, is it? I'm Taemin. Persephone speaks highly of you."

The way he drawls that sounds like Taemin doesn't agree and Jungkook swallows and somehow none of this is helping his boner.

"Persephone?"

The man smiles, and it's a bit wicked, a lot like yours, actually. "Ah. You know her as Y/n. Persephone is ...a bit of a petname, I suppose. In any case, my betrothed is worried sick about you and I can't sneak her past her father just yet, so I'm checking in."

"Your... your what now?" He swallows again and boy, he doesn't like that feeling, a rock in his gut alongside the lust.

Taemin waves his hand as if to dismiss him. "You seem relatively healthy."

"Yeah I'm... I'm fine." Jungkook stutters, and Taemin perches on the edge of the coffee table, leaning forward.

"Are you sure? I can help, if necessary."

"I'm…. I'm okay." Jungkook gasps a little, and Taemin chuckles low in his throat.

"You sure? I taught our girl everything she knows, after all."

Jungkook gapes at him for a moment, stunned. He'd taught you? This guy? This effortlessly gorgeous "betrothed" of yours? His stomach actually hurts, visions of you and Taemin fucking swirling around in his head and it makes him feel jealous and insecure but somehow his skin is even hotter, his cock straining against his sweats.

"I'm sure. Can you...can you tell her I miss her?"

A little smile twists Taemin's full mouth.

"She was right about you being cute, anyway. Well, I think you'll last the night. If things get hairy, I assume you know how to take matters into your own hands, so to speak?"

Jungkook nods vigorously, feeling his face flush even hotter, and the man is gone with an oddly musical laugh that lingers in the air.

He's tugging down his sweats before he can think about it, gasping at the feel of the cool air.

He's fisting his cock and he throws his head back, calling up the way you look bent over the couch arm, how you look back over your shoulder and smirk at him.

Jungkook isn't teasing, he's been hard for hours and he's so close to the edge already but suddenly instead of himself being in his fantasy it's Taemin, full mouth twisted in that smirk, hips snapping into yours, and he lets out a long groan and slows his hand.

He should stop touching himself, he feels almost sick at how fucking gorgeous you two must have been together, it hurts to think of you bouncing on top of Taemin's slight frame but it's also so fucking hot, he can imagine how your face looks, can imagine Taemin fucked you hard, how your ass would jiggle when you were bent over, and he's so close it's almost painful to stop, his cock bouncing off his stomach.

His hand comes away sticky with precum and he's breathing hard

"What the fuck?" He says quietly, and heads to take an ice cold shower.

It doesn't help, and he knows better, knows he needs to come, you've warned him again and again, but when he's lying on his sheets that still smell like you, that scent of black cherries, there's now a burnt cinnamon smell where Taemin had appeared and is that what you'd smelled like together?

He hates it, hates how fucking good it smells and he's bucking into his hand again within moments of lying down, water still beaded on his chest.

Jungkook doesn't sleep, and he can't bring himself to come, going so far as to tighten his fist at the base of his cock, breathing hard, heart pounding against his chestplate, once, twice, three times.

It's almost daylight when the smell grows stronger, and his skin is on fire, head spinning like he'd drunk a case of soju.

His mouth is dry when he tries to speak, and he licks his lips.

"Baby?" It comes out like a hoarse whine, and he hears hushed tones outside his bedroom door.

He lurches up from the bed, dizzy and unbalanced, and pushes the door open to see you standing there with Taemin.

Taemin scoffs.

"Humans. Honestly, Persephone."

You push at Jungkook's chest gently, and he lets out a low moan when he feels your hands on his skin.

He hadn't bothered getting dressed from the shower, and he lies back down obediently, eyes big and glassy.

You stroke his hair back from his face, crooning comforts.

"Y/n. Baby." He breathes, hand back on his cock again, bucking his hips. "Baby, please. Please I can't ...need to come ...need you."

"Oh, my poor Kookie." You lean down to kiss his mouth and he whimpers.

"Please please please," he chants. "Please touch me. It hurts."

"You didn't teach him his breathing exercises?" Taemin's voice booms from the doorway and Jungkook gasps, eyes darting to the doorway and then back to you.

"I did!" You snap, your eyes dark with worry. "Kookie, what happened? Your breathing exercises and...you didn't come? All night?"

He shakes his head quickly. "Tried. Couldn't." He can't seem to string a sentence together, so he takes a deep breath in through his nose and out through his mouth, like you'd taught him, and it clears his head a little. "Kept thinking too much." His eyes flit to Taemin again, who is standing there looking down at him, face almost blank.

You stroke his cheek and he turns his face into your hand.

"He taught you? He must be so much better than me, yeah? Must be better for you," he says mournfully, and you cup his face and kiss him again.

"No. No. Don't think that way."

Taemin chuckles, covering his mouth, and you stand and shove him outside as Jungkook whimpers.

Taemin smiles at you when you shove him outside because it's easier to be a bastard than to show an inkling of how he feels.

You'd been clutching his hand on the boat across the river Styx, leaned against him and he'd forgotten what that felt like, how it made his chest swell, and now...now with this boy, this human…..

He'd rather you'd put your mouth on the boy's cock right away, it would've hurt less than how wide and worried your eyes were, the soft kisses you'd placed on his mouth.

"You said you'd help me," you cry, chin jutting out defiantly.

"I thought surely you knew what you were doing when it came to this, Persephone," he drawls, but he regrets it when he sees your lip trembling.

He thumbs your bottom lip, voice softening. "Hey. Chin up. You know how to help him."

"I don't even know where to start! And you just made things worse, telling him ..."

"Telling him the truth?"

You snap your mouth closed, eyes searching his face for a moment.

"What happens after? Am I in over my head, Taemin? Should I...should I let him sweat it out so that he can be free of me? I'm no good at this. I failed him. Should I just do as I'm told and marry you?"

His breath catches in his throat and again, he wants to say yes. But your eyes are filled with tears and instead he brushes your hair back to expose one shaved horn and leans down to kiss it gently.

"It hurts, to have them shaved down, yeah? I should know, I had it done to come up here. You wouldn't have done that if being free weren't important to you. Do you think I want some pretty princess to sit on my lap?"

You just look up at him with those wide eyes and he sighs deep in his chest, leans down to kiss your mouth, almost chastely.

"If I wanted easy, I would have never chosen you as my mate, my Persephone. Loving you means letting you go, and I've always known that."

Your brow furrows and he can't help kissing you there, too.

"Taemin…."

He shakes his head, breath hitching in his chest. "I'll help you if you need me, Persephone, but I...the way you look at him…"

His voice breaks and he runs a hand over his face.

"Taemin," you say again, and the way your voice breaks when you say his name makes him feel like he's breathing in broken glass.

"You can do this, you know. You can. You can help him and I'll take the heat from your father. I'll tell him I chose another mate."

"You think I can do this? You think…"

"I think you can do anything," he says, honestly, and he strokes your face once before he takes a step back, before he breaks and begs you to change your mind the way he'd wanted to when you'd left.

"Will you….will you stay? Just until he's better. Just in case-"

He's already nodding, looking down at the ground, and he's grateful when you turn and shut the door so that you don't see the tears spilling down his face.

Jungkook is still lying there, looking at you with those big, doe eyes, and you wipe at your face.

"He….he loves you," he says softly. 

You hitch in a breath and sit on the bed next to him. "It's okay," you coo. "I'll help, Kook, I'll-"

He's shaking his head weakly. "Would it be... would it be better? With him? Would you be happier?"

"No. No, stop it." You hitch up your dress and straddle his hips, and he gasps and bucks beneath you when his cock slides through your heat. "I love you. I want you. Want to be here."

He still looks worried, throat working, and you guide him into you, slow, and he clenches his jaw to keep from bucking off the bed.

"I'm happiest here," you breath, and roll your hips.

"Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck," he chants and his hands slide up your back as he sits up to angle deeper, bouncing you on his cock and pressing his face into your neck, kissing you there sloppy and open mouthed.

"You smell so good. Is that what you smell like together? Cherries and cinnamon?" He moans against your throat, and you stiffen.

"Kookie-"

He's still bucking beneath you, needing the friction, the need to come taking over every rational thought.

"I want to see," he babbles. "I want to see how he fucks you. I want to know how to fuck you better."

"Jungkook, you're delirious, you-"

He lifts his head to look at you, and his eyes are a bit clearer. "I'll just watch. I'll be good. I'll be so good, Y/n, please…"

"You... you're serious?"

Jungkook nods eagerly, but he whimpers when you move off him and head to the door.

Taemin is already standing there at the doorway, smirking, no trace of the vulnerability you'd seen earlier.

"Baby needs a lesson?" 

Taemin had heard the boy's ramblings and his first instinct had been to run, to go back to hell and lick his wounds, because he'd said he would help but this was asking too much.

But you'd left four years ago and he can't stop thinking about how good it felt just holding your hand on the boat.

So he ends up letting you lead him in the boys bedroom where the boy is sitting on the bed, cock standing red and eager, and Taemin did have to commend you for your taste.

What demon wouldn't be swayed with that wide eyed innocence contrasting against the body of a god?

"Will you show me, hyung?" The boy asks, and Taemin raises an eyebrow.

"If that's what you want, human."

Jungkook nods and you make a squeak and Taemin turns to you.

You're stripping off your dress, struggling a bit with getting it over your horns and Taemin laughs a little and tugs it off for you, leaning down to kiss you softly on the mouth.

Jungkook whimpers from the bed, and you try to turn your head to look at him but Taemin holds your chin tight in his hand.

"He asked for this," he says, and you nod.

Taemin kisses you again, harder, slipping his tongue alongside yours, and when you melt against him, he smiles against your mouth.

You're bare now, and his hands slide along the outer swells of your breasts, your hips until you're moaning into his mouth, unbuttoning his slacks and filling your hands with his cock.

Taemin turns his eyes to the boy, who's stroking his cock with an almost pained expression on his face.

Taemin grabs one of your hips with one hand and turns you to bend you over the bed, his other hand on the back of your neck, pressing your face down into Jungkook's lap.

You barely make a sound but Jungkook moans low in his throat when your mouth touches his inner thigh.

"She likes being on top, human. But what she loves is when you make her bottom. She likes being put in her place…. isn't that right, Persephone?"

You moan against Jungkook's thigh until Taemin reaches down to wrap your hair around his fist and tug, making you cry out.

"Yes. Yes, sir."

Jungkook is looking up at him in awe. "Is it….are you always on top? With her?"

Taemin barks out a laugh. "You think I taught her how to seduce you without letting her top? You really are an innocent, yeah?"

Jungkook flushes such a pretty pink that Taemin releases your hair.

"I think you've mastered how to bottom, human. Give her something to do with her mouth. She likes to be used."

Jungkook looks at you with those wide doe eyes until Taemin pushes at the back of your head, and then he seems to snap back to reality, replacing Taemin's hand with his own.

You moan around his cock and Jungkook's head snaps back. "Oh. Oh."

Taemin takes the distraction to move his hand to the base of his cock, guiding himself into you, and oh fucking hell, he'd forgotten how tight you were, how your cunt sucked him in like he belonged there.

He hears you cry out around the human's cock and heat coils in his stomach. He grabs your hips and starts to move, fucking you hard and fast, just like you love, just like he knows you can take, and Jungkook is gasping and bucking his hips, eyes darting between you and Taemin.

It's easier not to think when he's slamming into you, easier not to feel anything but your body, your cunt clenching around him like a vice.

"She's coming around me already. She loves to be treated like a whore just as much as she likes to be treated like a goddess," he says, grunting when you roll your hips back against him and slapping your ass. "Ah, Persephone, be a good girl, yeah?"

You pop off of Jungkook's cock long enough to meet Taemin's eyes over your shoulder and smile. "Never."

Taemin chuckles and presses down on the nape of your neck again. Fuck, he loves you. He loves you and he hopes this is enough. He hopes he can make this memory linger.

One final lesson.

He ignores the tightness in his chest, moves his hips faster as you wrap your lips around the human's cock again.

"If I had more time, I'd show you how she likes to be punished, how to tie her up and make her come over and over until she's trembling."

"Ah, shouldn't we deny her orgasms, hyung?" Jungkook asks, and Taemin lifts an eyebrow, surprised.

"That's one way, but I….I never could deny her anything," he admits, drawing closer to his orgasm, mouth running away with him.

"Next time," Jungkook gasps, making eye contact. "Next time you can show me."

Taemin is too far gone to question what the human means by that, focusing on how your ass jiggles against him, on his cock pumping in and out of you and with Jungkook a moaning mess beneath your skilled tongue, he feels confident his lesson has been helpful.

Taemin empties himself inside you with a long groan of your name and when he looks down at him, Jungkook yelps and shudders, finally finding his release.

"Oh, oh, thank you thank you, Y/n, hyung…" he babbles and collapses on the bed, throwing a forearm over his eyes.

Taemin sighs when he pulls out of you and he buttons his slacks and lifts you onto the bed, padding to the bathroom to wet a cloth.

It's bittersweet, wiping you down, crooning comforts into your ear as you come down, and when you take the cloth from him, he can't bear to watch you do it to the human, distracts himself by going to get water bottles and when he returns, you're holding your arms out to him with your human asleep beside you and his heart seems to crack.

"I should go," he says quietly, and you shake your head.

"Don't. Stay."

In the end, he does, he and your human on either side of you like bookends, because he told Jungkook the truth. He's never been able to deny you anything.

Days later, when he tells Jongin about you, liquor and the newly fallen's own story loosening his tongue, Jongin raises an eyebrow.

"You still love her? After all that?"

A bitter smile twists his mouth.

"What, you think only angels can love unconditionally?"

*****

Up next: Fallen - Jongin’s backstory

[futurewriter2000]

The Effect

A/N: Okay, this all goes to @padfootersblog . I got the werewolf, twin lupin thing from her and I just wanted to say this. She wrote reader x Sirius but I felt like reader x James so I wrote this so fast and I really like it and Idk if I should write a second part or nah? 

PAIRING: James Potter x Lupin!twin!reader

xx

Twins, fraternal or identical, they usually had many things in common but with you and your brother, that was never the case. The perfect child, the pride and the light of the family; your brother, Remus. Though you weren’t much different from him you were still more of a rebel than a bookworm. The rebellious one, the fun, the artistic, more open-minded...

He preferred books, you preferred music. He wore light polo shirts and you wore jackets, jeans or anything related to funky. There was no clothing that you didn’t draw on, sewed on or ripped off.

Although the two of you were different from one another, both were still as close as two coats of paint. Despite the fact you were sorted into Ravenclaw, the two of you saw each other every day.

“ Cheers brother!” you sat down next to him and clung your cup against the one you forced in his hand. “ Drink up.” you smiled and he furrowed his eyebrows at you, staring suspiciously.

“ What did you do?”

“ Nothing.” you rolled your eyes and put your feet on the table. “ Now are you going to drink or not?”

“ Why?”

“ I’m testing whether you’re fun or a complete bore.” you groaned and he rolled his eyes, lifting his cup and drinking up. “ Good.”

---

Sometimes, people shouldn’t trust you because you were always too smart for your own good.

“ Oh no.” Sirius sighed looking at the two giggling and laughing twins on the sofa, lightly shoving one another and throwing pillows.

“ We told him not to eat or drink whatever she gives him.” James walked over and took the cup from the table, taking a sniff. “ Smells like orange juice.” he quirked an eyebrow at Sirius.

“ Drongs!” you laughed and pulled James by the robe on the sofa, casually sitting on his lap and stroking his hair away from his forehead. “ That is what they call you, right?”

“ It’s- uh- Prongs.” he looked at you, afraid to move a muscle and look at anything else but your breasts. The only thing keeping him sane at the very moment was the fact that you were Remus’ sister.

“ You alright there, Prongs?” Sirius smirked, crossing his arms in front of his chest and observing the view playing front of him.

“ Uh- little help, Padfoot.” he said but kept his eyes on yours.

No matter who you were, how long the two of you have knowm each other, all James wanted to do was run his hands all over you.

“ You’re tense.” you narrowed your eyes, your voice quite high and cracking at some of the vowels. You put your hands on his shoulders and started to massage him, later following down to his chest. “ Wow.” you laughed and put your arms in front of you. “ Remus are you seeing this?! I have four arms!” you beamed at your brother who was already passed out on the armchair. “ Wuss.” you scoffed and got on your feet.

“ Careful, darling.” Sirius smirked and continued to watch everything play in front of him while James tried to wipe the sinful thoughts from his mind.

“Darling?” you shot a glare at him. “ Don’t call me that.”

The word. That word.

The word awoke the anger that hid beneath the mask you showed to everybody.

“ Don’t call you what? Darlin-”

The effect of the potion you made for you and Remus wore off quicker than hell. Sirius choked on the hand against his throat, the beast inside of you was starting to rage and before you knew there were muffled voices echoing around you.

“(y/n)! Stop!”

‘ “Stop!” an innocent girl cried from her bed, watching a big, furry beast cutting in her brother’s flesh. “ Emus!” the name still couldn’t be pronounced correctly due to the age of the girl, her body shaking from the horror in front of her.

“ Revenge really does taste sweet.” the beast cackled and licked his fingers, his blue eyes reflecting every inch of the monster he truly was. He licked his fangs and started walking towards the girl in front of him.

“ No!” the girl shouted and tried to run away.

But her short steps weren’t a match for the greed and the hunger of the wolf behind her. He clawed in her back and threw her on the ground.

“ Daddy! Mummy!” she screamed, numb to the pain spreading on her back.

“ Mummy and daddy aren’t here, darling. “ he growled against her small ear.

Her head turned, eyes shut and she knew that this was either the end or the worst nightmare she has had. Eyes opened for a second, she didn’t know why but she wanted them to be opened yet the only view she saw was her twin brother lying in his own pool of blood, barely breathing.

His snout moved around her face and until it came to her eyes, he followed her gaze. “ You should thank your daddy for this. He should know better than not to mess with Fenrir Greyback.” he snarled and she turned her head to look at his dilated pupils. “ Nighty night, darling.” ‘

“ (Y/N)! “ you were thrown across the common room, your brother standing above you while pointing his wand at you.

James was at his best friend’s side and Remus rushed to yours, taking your head in his hands and looking at your contracting pupils. You found the colour adjust slowly, the emerald in your brother’s eyes growing brighter by the moment.

You glanced at the coughing boy behind Remus. Sirius holding himself by the neck and letting out coughs. “ Oh my God- Did I- Did I?” you stuttered, your eyes glancing between your brother and Sirius. “ Oh, Remus I didn’t - I didn’t mean-”

His hands wrapped around you, one hand on your head and pressing it against his chest and the other supporting you up. “ It’s okay. I know.”

“ I- he was- he was there- you were barely alive- his eyes- I-”

“ I know. Just calm down.” he continued to rock you in his arms while you sobbed. “ It’s not your fault.”

---

The guilt was more starved than the wolf on the full moon. It kept eating you from the inside out, day and night, like a hermit craving for water.

The steps in your room, the pacing around and the stress of heavy thoughts were taking all the sleep you craved for three nights now.

‘ The mother came in the room first, screaming and falling on her knees. The father was a step behind her, entering the room and looking from one of his child to another. “ Oh my God.” he pressed his hand to his mouth. “ Remus! (Y/n)!” he didn’t know to which one he came first. “ My children!”

Both of the children could hear them crying, screaming, sobbing... but not a muscle could be moved nor it felt like they were breathing. Everything was dark, everything felt like some sort small closet where you could do nothing but think. ‘

And so you grabbed the hoodie you found on one of the chairs of your roommate's and walked out the Ravenclaw tower.

‘ “ Female, five-years-old, infected by lycanthropy.” a woman’s voice came from above her, white lights flashing and disappearing while sobs escaped besides her. The girl turned her head, finally, she could move just to see her mother’s eyes filled with tears and worry. She smiled.

“ You’re going to be okay, honey. Just hold on.” ‘

The door was right in front of you. There. Just knock.

But if words could describe the horrible fear that ran through your veins, you would shout instead of knock. But you could do neither. Your eyes were fixated on the wooden door.

The door opened and a grumpy boy stared at you. “ Just. Go. To. Sleep.” he yawned, light on his feet. “ You know when you can’t sleep, I can’t sleep. Just. Sleep.”

“ I- I need to see him. I need to see if he’s alright.”

“ Is that (y/n)?” a familiar voice came behind Remus, hazel instead of grey as you expected. He put his hand on Remus’ shoulder and squeezed his way through the door. “ I’ll talk to her, you go to sleep Grumpy.” he pushed Remus back inside and closed the door.

“ James, I can’t sleep until I see him.” you begged with your eyes, your eyelashes battering.

“ He knows, (y/n). We all know it wasn’t your fault.” he put his hand on your shoulder and squeezed it softly. “ He shouldn’t have said that, especially when you were high on your own emotions from that potion.”

“ Bu- I need-”

“ Remus explained.”

“ That was not his to explain!” you started to get furious. “ It was me who should have explained.”

“ (y/n).” he sighed and looked at you with his tired eyes. “ It’s 2 a.m and I really need the sleep-in- Saturday. Please, please just go to sleep.”

“ I can’t sleep. Not until-”

“ God!” he groaned and opened the door, pulling you inside.

“ What are you doing?”

“ You’re sleeping. Just go sleep in Remus’ bed.” he closed the door. “ You can say sorry to Sirius in the morning.”

“ I’m not sleeping with Remus. He always takes all the space.”

“ Fine! Then take my bed and I’ll take the floor.” he grabbed the pillow and threw one on the ground.

“ No. You can’t sleep on the floor.” you picked the pillow up. “ I’ll take your bed and so are you but no funny business, Potter.” you said to him before crawling into his bed and making yourself comfortable.

“ At this point, I’m too tired to care.” he yawned and crawled in his bed as well, making sure you got enough space to sleep on.

You turned away from James and pulled the pillow closer, breathing in the mixture of ginger and cinnamon, which was an oddly great combination. And without any notice, it was already dark and both of you were asleep.

---

‘ The girl was afraid. She was staring at her brother who the moon already took over. He only looked through the window and his spine was already twisting in directions. She hid behind her bed and all of a sudden there it was, the crack of the bone, the movement of her insides, the sharp claws coming from her fingers. It-

The sudden change of scene took you a while to adjust. Everything was bright. Two children were running around the field, laughing and chasing each other. “ You’re it!” the girl shouted and the boy started chasing her.

“ I’m faster! “ he shouted and started sprinting towards her. She stopped and all of a sudden there was a crash, two young kids laughing. ‘

“ OI!” a shout woke you from the lovely dreams and a pillow was thrown at your head. “ What the bloody hell!” you sleepily opened your eyes and through the mess of your hair, you found yourself facing a sleeping black-haired boy.

Your hands were on his chest, his arm over your hip while his hand pressed against your back. He was fast asleep, as a rock, just nuzzling closer as another pillow sped its way to him.

“ It’s Saturday.” he groaned in a musky, sleepy voice which plastered a smile on your lips.

He was beautiful when he slept. The burnt cheeks from the lake picnic a few days ago. Whenever he got burnt, despite his dark skin, he would get these minuscule sunspots on his cheekbones and it looked as if he had freckles. His hair, messier than usual, were pointing everywhere and his eyelashes looked longer than yours.

“ Mate!” Remus shouted bewildered and pulled the sheets off the two of you.

“ God, Remus! Why so dramatic?” you rolled your eyes and sat up.

And all of a sudden, at the sound of your voice, James eyes flew open in the flash and he looked up at you. “ OH! ”

“ Morning.” You smiled at him. However, the smile that formed on your lips was not the same as he received and both of you, at that moment, knew it.

“ Morning.” he smiled as well, just as you, differently as he ever did before.

The messy (y/h/c) hair and the oversized Ravenclaw Quidditch sweater on you... it showed you in a completely different light.

“ Excuse me.” there came a cough and both of you looked at the boy standing in front of the two of you.

“ Oh shit.”