#i’m doing tma themed poetry

[beeing-stuupid]

#50

Take a step

on the rope that hangs in the sky.

Each foot placed

an inch away from the blue.

One more breath

and you struggle to breathe.

In this space

Stretching far for you.

But it’s cold

your fingers burn.

Your bones ache

and you learn.

In the sky

at last.

Forever

vast.

[echoes-lighthouse]

Something that amuses me is the fact that I’m not caught up on literally any of my fictional others’ source material! 

This is a brief study of where I left every single media (and why): 

these are my personal experiences and i certainly don’t judge anyone for not sharing them or for enjoying a plot twist/plot arc that i disliked! 

BNHA (anime)- I watched to the end of season 4 and never picked up the next season: I was getting tired of suppressing my emotions about the whole hero/police parallel issues and just decided the fanfiction would be more fulfilling than the actual story. 

Homestuck- I read the original webcomic to the end, but I abandoned HS2 like a hot potato and refused to touch the whole franchise for a year and a half: it was such a bitter piece of writing, mocking the fandom and erasing the progress most of the characters had made in their original arcs, and I don’t know that I’ll ever fully forgive the creators for it. 

Magic School Bus- I read most of the books when I was a kid, but I never watched the TV show! I was one of those 90s kids who didn’t have cable, and I’m not sure I’ve read ALL of the books: it’s been a while for most of them, though I do have 2 still on my bookshelf 

TMA- I always preferred the oneshot horror story part of The Magnus Archives, so I started to get pretty burned out around season 3, but I kept going until season 5! Season 5 tends to be less stories and more horror-themed poetry/abstract concepts, so I just didn’t.... bother? But I’m glad people who enjoyed the plot aspects seem to have liked the ending! 

Critical Role- uhhhhh I’ll get back to this some day! I’m thinking of starting Campaign 2 from the beginning again? The stakes just got too high and I didn’t love what the group was doing, and it just got stressful instead of fun... but some early-days episodes might get me hooked again! 

Rick and Morty- I have to consume this show at a bit of a snail’s pace because the abuse and alcoholism can really get under my skin. I just recently started Season 5 and I’m working at it slowly. 

(secondary F/O sources under ‘read more’ so I don’t flood dashboards!) 

Black Butler- I did watch the whole anime but I was honestly more into the manga, which is still running! I read until I was caught up in 2015, but I just haven’t gone back into the fandom since then, although I still lovingly stroke the spines in every bookshop: maybe I should make an effort to get the new volumes from the library! 

Welcome To Night Vale- I listened to the first hundred episodes! Actually, the first 121, but it was more and more multi-episode arcs and I wasn’t into it, so I let it go. I need to go back and catch up on my Kevin dearest’s arc though :) 

Danganronpa- I was watching the Game Grumps playthrough and I finished the first game with them, but they were super halfhearted about the second game, so I only watched one trial, and now I’m waiting to have enough money to buy and play games 2 and 3 for myself! 

Mary Poppins- okay this might be an exception BUT I haven’t read the original books! 

Nightmare Before Christmas- a second exception BUT I heard terrible things about the new book so I decided not to read it! Does that count? 

Sandman- I’ve read the comics fully, including the follow-up comics after the initial run. However, I have NOT watched the TV show: Death looks great but I can’t get over how much they butchered Dream and I just can’t bear to watch any of the scenes with him in it, and he’s the heart of the damn series so it doesn’t feel worth it 

American Horror Story- I watched a few full seasons but got a bit tired with the ‘in your face’ style of horror in each season, and categorically refused to watch the Coven season for ‘raised pagan’ reasons. I watched House, Asylum, Freak Show, Cult, and Roanoke, but I really only enjoyed House and Asylum as full stories. 

And that’s the story of why I’m not caught up on any of my f/o’s origin medias! Thanks for reading to the bottom, it’s something I’m quite insecure about (like I don’t love them enough if I haven’t finished the original media for their sake) so I decided to write about it in a fun way! 

[voidoftetris]

I posted 6,650 times in 2022

That's 5,698 more posts than 2021!

52 posts created (1%)

6,598 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@everwizard

@random-chaos-thoughts

@mortimermcmirestinks

@annabelle--cane

@a-swarm-of-crabs

I tagged 3,005 of my posts in 2022

#the magnus archives - 475 posts

#rqg - 341 posts

#the mechanisms - 192 posts

#note - 190 posts

#wolf 359 - 130 posts

#malevolent - 112 posts

#tma - 110 posts

#goncharov - 97 posts

#ofmd - 91 posts

#unreality - 89 posts

Longest Tag: 134 characters

#it’s important to remember pretty much everything we believe and think is drawn from the people around us. wtnv voice we’re all echoes

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

every day i think about oscar wilde. dorian gray. oscar wilde’s trial. lady windermere’s fan. the themes of classism. rqg wilde. how would he feel about modern interpretations of him? of his works? dorian gray. themes of a double life. constant deception. being driven to the brink by your own actions. lady windermere’s fan. sacrifice for another. hating yourself for doing it. the layers of lies and deception. rqg wilde. every single thing i have seen and read and heard related to him is, on some level, about deception. about masks. about blending in and pretending that nothing’s wrong. poetry about english nationalism. his mother was an irish nationalist. he didn’t have an irish accent because he was blending into society. nearly all of his work is about calling out the society he was blending into. masks and layers and constant deception. he’s most famous for being gay. he had a wife whom he wrote poems to and sent letters to a girl he called his childhood sweetheart. he’s dead and we can never be certain what was true. there are so many rumours that came about after he was prosecuted. his work was socially buried after his disgrace. he’s one of the most famous writers in the world. he was a living contradiction, masks covering masks covering masks, and we will never know if there was a person underneath it all. dorian gray. dying alone, filled with rage at what you’ve become. rqg wilde. the ballad of reading gaol. who was he? who could he have been?

76 notes - Posted January 22, 2022

#4

Carter my beloved what are you doing here

84 notes - Posted March 7, 2022

#3

me: i’ve heard that de:pp has a trans character in it but i’m not confident that it’s not just my friends finding nothing to contradict a headcanon so-

opening scene: so barney is listening to cavetown

me, instantly: Oh Ok This Is Intentional

109 notes - Posted July 16, 2022

#2

the magnus archives 2: electric spookaloo

290 notes - Posted October 13, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

lucy: i need not tell you this is a secret

me, one of presumably thousands of people being emailed this: absolutely not queen. this dies with me, and i love you

841 notes - Posted May 11, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[rest-upon-the-morning-light]

JonMartin fic

So I’m trying to get back into fic writing, especially for TMA, and have a multi chapter fic planned but wanted to start with a smaller one shot style fic to warm up. It’s been an age since I’ve written anything, much less something that wasn’t just reader based or smut lmao. I’ve added trigger warnings but if I missed any do let me know! 

Any feedback would be great and if you like this, please send me prompts! Happy to write anything from fluff to smut, just as long as its TMA based :D 

So! Here is my cute fluff JonMartin fic! Enjoy~ 

Everybody Wants To Be A Cat 

Word Count: 2240 

Trigger Warnings: Mentions of Animal Abuse, but nothing to graphic. Anxiety. Self Worth Issues. Season 1 Jon being Season 1 Jon. Season 1 Martin being Season 1 Martin.

Fandom: The Magnus Archive

Pairings: Jonathan Sims/Martin Blackwood 

Summary: Martin was certain of two things. One, he had an enormous crush on his boss. Two, his boss hated him. Who knew a one eyed beast of an alley cat would bring them closer?

Martin Blackwood has two problems.

Problem number one. He was absolutely certain he was more than a little bit in love with his boss.

Problem number two. His was absolutely certain said boss hated him.

 Well, hated was probably a strong word. Hated implied that Jon thought of him at all, and it was far more likely that Jon thought of him very little throughout his day. Except, of course, when Martin did something wrong. Then those piercing eyes of his would be solely fixed on him whilst he shouted about how inept Martin was or how stupid his mistake had been.

It hurt, those moments. It hurt that the only time Jon ever truly seemed to see Martin was when he was angry at him. Not when Martin did an amazing follow up on a statement. Not when he’d created a great rapport with a statement giver or their family. Not when he brought Jon tea. Just when he did something wrong.

It was a running theme in this annoyance Martin called his life.

He still couldn’t help these feelings though. Jon was an arse half the time that much was true. It infuriated Tim to know end when Jon would lash out at Martin. “He has no right Martin. Mistake or not he’s your boss, he’s supposed to help you, not act like a massive dick all the time”

It was harder for Tim and Sasha in a way. They’d been Jon’s equal for a long time, working together. Moving to the Archive was always going to be a bit of a challenge. To have friend become boss. Especially for Sasha, who everyone thought was going to be become Head Archivist. But neither had held any real resentment over Jon for the change. After all, it wasn’t his choice, it was Elias’s.

But Jon’s sudden shift from rude but mostly recluse and occasionally friendly colleague to rude very recluse and stick constantly up arse boss was harder than any of them expected.

Martin could understand. It was big position and Jon seemed like the type to take everything he did very seriously. This meant holding everything in the archive to a high standard. His assistance included.

So yes, Jon was awful to him a lot of the time. But he was passionate. He cared. For all his blustering that none of this was real, Martin could see how much he empathised with the people who had given those statements. How he looked like he’d personally failed them when a follow up revealed they had died not longer after they’d come to visit the institute.

His crush probably wasn’t the most healthy but sue him! He liked being a bit in love. He liked having inspiration for his poetry. He enjoyed the fluttery feeling in his stomach when he came into work.

He just wished Jon didn’t quite hate. No. Didn’t quite dislike him so much.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There is a cat that has been hiding the alleyway behind the Institute for several days now.

Martin noticed the poor thing when he’d been taking out some rubbish that accumulated in the Archive. Usually that sort of thing wasn’t his job, but he’d been done for the day anyway and he liked to be useful, even if no one really noticed.

It was a mangy young thing. Light brown fur matted, one eye seemed to be damaged and it hissed every time Martin so much as approached it.

He couldn’t just leave it though. Poor thing needed help. It was out here, lonely, forgotten, damaged by the people that probably at one point said they’d love and protect it.

Was he projecting onto a stray cat now? God this was a new level of sad.

So he did what someone in his position did best. He researched.

 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There is a surprising number of places to buy cat supplies near the Institute and the workers in the shop were incredibly helpful with his questions.

Approach slowly. Don’t try to touch or hold the cat. Leave out food and water. He’d also bought a small plastic hut and shoved a warm blanket inside for the large cat. He didn’t know what breed it was. Just that it was grumpy and hurt.

It didn’t take a great deal away from his own funds either. His job paid well enough and he didn’t exactly go out with people very often, buying expensive drinks or tickets to shows.

His special treat was usually some sugar drenched coffee.

He couldn’t see any physical injuries on the cat, apart from its eye, so he put some treats in the hut, left out the food and water, then left.

He came back everyday with more supplies to keep the large growling cat comfortable. Every day that passed the cat came a little bit closer to him. He grinned at that. Hoping one day it would come close enough to pet.

He’d read somewhere that when cats blink, once and slow, it was a sign that they trusted you. Martin waited for that day with bated breath.

Tim and Sasha were a little bit suspicious as to where he was going on his lunch breaks. He told them he just taking a long walk, getting some fresh air away from the dusty old archives but he knew it wasn’t the best lie.

Lying for the sake of his job was one thing. Lying to his friends for no good reason was another.

It wasn’t like he doing anything bad. It was more that he wanted this for himself. He wasn’t even too sure why. Part of him wondered if he was worried the cat would somehow take some natural liking to either one of them or both. He didn’t want to lose all his hard work.

Or, if he was being more honest with himself, he didn’t want the cat to abandon him for someone better.

Yeah. New level of pathetic had been reached.

But one lunch, a few weeks after he’d first spotted the broken but massive feline, that the lying and the ill feeling became absolutely worth it.

Because the cat approached him.

Martin didn’t move a single muscle. He was sat on a small wooden box in the alley. Far enough away as to not frighten the poor thing, but close enough that the cat could make contact if it wanted to.

And today it did.

He held his breath the closer it got, keeping eye contact with its good eye the whole time. It paused for a moment, right in the front of his bent legs, before it let out a small mirp noise and butted its head against his knee.

“Oh hello” Martin laughed, chest feeling lighter than it had in an exceptionally long time.

He reached out his hand slowly to pet its head and let out another sign of relief when the one eyed cat let him.

“Well” he began

“I can’t very well keep calling you cat or beast in my head, you’ll need a name”.

It didn’t acknowledge his words in any way, just continued to let him scratch behind its ears and watched him with its one working eye. He could almost imagine its thoughts.

“Silly Martin, just come up with one already. Stop wasting time”.

He let out a soft chuckle at the thought, a name ready on his lips.

“Jon” he smiled gently.

“I think I’ll call you Jon”.

 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 It went well after that. Martin made plans to keep the cat. It would help the dreariness of his lonely flat, and he was lucky his landlord allowed pets in his building.

He couldn’t afford proper insurance but the workers at the pet shop knew an emergency vet that wasn’t too expensive, so he could get Cat Jon’s eye checked out soon.

Giddy as he was with his newfound friend, he didn’t realise that he’d been less subtle than usual about where he was going on his break.

It was one grey, wet Wednesday that it all came to ahead.

He’d been sitting crossed legged on the ground, his coat below him as a sort of makeshift blanket to keep his trousers dry, when Human Jon found them.

He hadn’t even noticed Jon had followed him until the backdoor that led the alley burst open with a bang that echoed down the narrow way.

“Martin” shouted Jon, looking at some papers in his hand.

“I need you to take your lunch late and follow up on this report. You made several errors in your research that, frankly, a child could spot. I don’t know what you’re doing out here but if you have time to sit around then –“

Jon’s rant was cut short as he finally looked up to the picture that greeted him.

Cat Jon had leaped into his arms from the loud noise, clinging to Martin’s bright yellow sweater.

Martin froze, cat in arms as Jon stared at him with a look of equal shock.

“Oh” began Jon softly

“Sorry” Martin practically shouted.

“I – eh – this is, well um, a cat, I found? A few weeks ago, actually. I’ve been sort of taking care of it? Getting it food and water and um” he gestured to the plastic hut and blanket he’d laid out.

“He was hurt you see. Only one eye and really badly taken care of. Abandoned, I recon. So I’ve been out here on lunches making sure he’s, um, that he’s okay? Is that..is that alright?” he trailed off nervously.

He couldn’t look at Jon. It wasn’t exactly something to be ashamed of, taking care of a stray cat. But he could imagine Jon being the sort of serious no nonsense person who would see it as a waste of time, his lunch break or not. God would this make his relationship worse? Would Jon scold him for it? Did it make him seem more pathetic than before? Christ, was that even possible?

He didn’t notice the movement until Jon was sat beside him on the floor.

Jonathan Sims, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, sat on a dirty alley floor with Martin K Blackwood.

He watched with bated breath as Human Jon reached his hand out to Cat Jon and let out a small sound of relief when Cat Jon didn’t bite, scratch or run away.

“You poor thing” murmured Jon, eyes only on his (unknowing) cat counterpart.

“What have they done to you? Well, you look better now than you probably did before. Thank to our Martin here”.

Martin couldn’t help but blush deeply at that. Hot all over his face. He couldn’t handle this. Jon being all, all soft and gentle and calling him “our” Martin.

“You’ve been taking care of him then?” Jon looked up at Martin now. Eyes soft and kind for once. It nearly took all of Martins brain power to respond after receiving such a look.

“Yes” he began.

“Like I said, I found him a few weeks ago. Planning on taking him back to mine soon, get him out of the cold properly”.

Jon nodded, eyes never leaving Martins, hand firmly petting the cat in Martins arms.

“I’m sorry, about the work” Martin nervously bit his lip.

“I’ve been really worried about him so I rushed it to get out here on time. It’s no excuse and I know you don’t exactly think highly of my work in the first place. I’ll make sure I stay late tonight so I can catch up”

“Martin” interrupted Jon, eye straying on the bitten lip, a slight flush to his cheeks.

“I’m the one who should be sorry. I haven’t been fair to you these past few months. It’s been unprofessional at best and, well, and downright cruel at worst”

“Your job is stressful” Martin tried to defend

“And we both know I’m not exactly at the same standard at the others”

“Still” Jon continued.

“It’s my job to help you, not, berate you at every mistake. You came from the library, not research, so you have different skill set and – well, its been hard for us all. Not fair of me to put all that blame on you. God knows Tim could stand to be a bit more professional at times” Jon grumbled out the last part, a small pout to his lips.

Martin laughed at that, smiling wider than he could last remember.

“Tim just likes to keep you human, I think” he winked and watched with fascination as the flush came back to Jon’s dark cheeks.

Cat Jon leap out of his arms after that, toddling off to who knows where.

“Well” Martin began, getting up from his cross legged position on the floor.

“We still have time for lunch, we could, um, maybe eat together? If that’s okay I mean! You could help me figure out a name for him?” “You don’t have one already?” replied Jon, surprise in his voice “Uhhh not any suitable ones, no” Martin laughed awkwardly.

He couldn’t exactly say he’d name the poor blighter after Jon. He doubted Jon would take it as a compliment and he didn’t want to ruin whatever fragile peace they’d stumbled onto.

He held out his hand to help Jon off the floor. Jon eyed it, before bringing his own hand up and placing it into Martins larger ones. Martin pulled him up and held back a small gasp as Jon shot forward quicker than intended, his smaller hand landing on Martin chest.

Jon looked up at him, a small shy smile gracing his lips.

“Beautiful” Martin couldn’t help but think, face and ears bright red.

Jon pulled back, coughing every so slightly into his fist.

“Yes, well, I’ve named a cat or two in my time, it won’t be too hard” “Oh?” teased Martin

“What about Magnus? We did find him here” Jon shook his head at that, crinkling his nose slightly.

“Absolutely not, something more dignified. The Captain maybe?” “Captain?” countered Martin

“The Captain” continued Jon as they began to head back inside

“I suppose the one eye does give him a bit of a pirate look” Martin couldn’t help by laugh slightly as he said it.

“Yes” Jon laughed back

“Dignified but still fitting his nature” And off they went, back into the Institute. Unaware of any monstrous eyes watching them as they simply watched each other. A new, wonderful feeling developing between them.

Neither noticed that they still held each others hands as they made their way to the break room.

And if they spoke of cat names, and toys and flushed deeply when they did notice the hands still entwined, well.

Those moments were only for them.

[gerrydelano]

okay, since people have asked, i’m gonna start fresh and take it from the top explaining my creative process for music! very long post under the cut.

gonna try to structure this by:

basic mechanics (some of which already outlined here but restated)

how i did firesorrow girl

how i’m doing bloodwater ballad (minimal spoilers)

things they have in common/what my apparent signature is based on now two songs that follow similar patterns

so here we go! 2.5k words of infodumping! what else is new lol. OKAY! SO:

BASIC MECHANICS

the key word here is improvisation. i am vocally trained but it’s been a very long time since i’ve studied or even done a single actual vocal warmup or anything. i’m actually pretty foolhardy with my voice! i also don’t play any instruments, could never read sheet music (thanks dyscalculia), and have very limited knowledge of audacity (the only program available to me). 

so, everything i do is completely by ear. i don’t know what notes are what! i go into this blind every single time and just... make it up as i go. which is not something i can advise other people to do because i don’t even know how i do it! just happens. sometimes i surprise myself ngl!

so okay, disclaimers out the way. here’s my process in pieces.

WRITING

get randomly inspired with a single lyric

for firesorrow girl it happened in the car on the way home from work

for bloodwater ballad i woke up at 1am out of a dead sleep, got this ask, immediately spent the next 4 hours writing lyrics

PICK A REALLY IMAGE HEAVY THEME. RUN WITH IT. RUN SO FAR.

write a verse out of it and start humming to see if something sticks

if it works out, make the verse into two parts and then go for the chorus

repeat that convention one more time

bridge has to deviate/usually has More Words

add another two part verse and chorus

honestly, it’s like writing poetry! once you pick the language convention and symbolism you want to use, you just have to worry about syllabic measurements and whether things can line up more or less symmetrically. rhyming is relative, but i tend to try and have fun with it.

sometimes i come up with phrases and images i REALLY want to use, jot them down in the bottom of the note, and try to find ways to rephrase them that will fit in with the melody in my head once i’m actually tweaking the whole song. sometimes they can’t be used, but sometimes you come up with something even MORE intense just because you had to swap some words around and do math.

i really just Hyperfocus. for each song, i sat and wrote the lyrics in 2-4 hours and was finished, only ended up tweaking them a little bit after testing out a full recording and realizing certain pieces fell flat or didn’t feel right in my mouth.

RECORDING

this is where you throw things at me!

i’ve recorded in places such as my bed, my recliner, my table, and my bookstore when it’s so empty no one can yell at me for singing.

i start, obviously, with the base vocal!

i try to do this in one shot. usually, if i ever try again because i think i can do it better, it just sounds worse. so, if there are any spaces that are individually not good, i redo just those bits and workshop them together during mixing.

then it’s time for harmonies!

i put my headphones in to listen to the track on my laptop as reference

record clips on my ipad under the cover of the day 

which have been a blanket, a tablecloth, a robe, etc.

it’s suffering. but it muffles outside noise so i do recommend trying to do something like that if you record things. that’s how RQ did TMA at first so we are OUT HERE. BOOTLEGGING.

i save the clip to my google drive

i try to give them names that’ll tell me what the fuck they are but it does get very messy. i am here to just. suffer.

convert them from ,mp4 to .wav with the google converter

save it to my folder

which are also extremely messy. i try to organize them by song now. i sure had a lot of cleaning to do.

drop it into audacity, fuck around, go wild

MIXING

and THIS is where you full on murder me with your bare hands.

i have no idea what the fuck i’m doing. none. no idea at all. nothing.

every single thing i do is just. pure improv. pure chance. it’s awful.

one of the tricks i use liberally is reverb. makes things smoother, a little more eerie, which for the last two songs i’ve done is actually useful.

sometimes i have to use bass and treble to increase and decrease the volume of a specific piece, because using that little left right thing on the side of each track does NOT WORK! just bass and treble it!

i choose something to keep in the background, usually a sample of something because i still do not know how to play instruments.

but usually, i just rely on my own voice and just, overlap a bunch of harmonies accordingly. it’s hard work to not be overwhelming, sometimes i drown myself out and have to stop complicating things so much!

in terms of playing around with the clips of harmony and small melody deviations, i time everything by hand

i don’t know how to make it measured evenly and line up exactly with the stuff above it like automatically. i have to literally wiggle the tracks by hand and make them work.

but at least when i edit the bits, i solo them alongside an empty track that is the length of the whole song so that they’re in the right placement if i ever have to put them back in it so i don’t have to WIGGLE THEM EVER AGAIN

the mixing goes differently depending on the songs so i’ll elaborate on this when i get to each one.

OKAY. g-d. fuck. neck hurty. okay here we go.

FIRESORROW GIRL

as we know, i wrote, recorded, and mixed this song in a total of four days. i'd never actually fully written and produced a song before, in this context, so it was a complete shot in the dark and a whim and WHEW.

i definitely learned my lesson about recording music through the mistakes i made with that, though. which were:

i labeled my files miserably. like. i don’t know what’s what in the folder a lot of the time and i’m scared to look at it ever again

it had about 16 tracks, MANY of which are scattered and unorganized little snatches of miscellaneous harmonies that i lined up by hand and would be terrified to mix down into one track or anything. COMPLETE travesty.

i used a 15 second “chinese guitar” sample i got from a free website. literally just one little loopy boy. most good songs do NOT just use the same sample looped like 25 times! it was very basic and i wish i had the ability to give it some variation, but i tried to compensate with the vocals.

i used plenty of reverb for the extra church feeling, because that was part of the lyrical motif i chose and so i wanted the actual music to match.

it actually sounds very cool a capella! but since i didn’t hum the ENTIRE way through the silences are awkward, so i wouldn’t post it.

her basic structure is this:

5 minutes, ballad (a wholeass musical narrative)

one loop of the guitar as the intro

first (four line) verse in only the base vocal

but introduce a soft hum 3/4 of the way through

second verse continues to use the singular hum throughout

but on the second line, introduce a higher harmony to the hum

take it away again

chorus was very simple for this; just two lines

next two verses have BOTH sets of hums consistently throughout

until, of course, i removed the LOW harmony in some places to emphasize certain words so that you could hear them better with less obscurity and weight! a fun trick. it’s another thing i did on the second line of a verse, because reintroducing the low hum on the third was HOO.

also introduced the first counter lyric - “love made sure it hurt” which extended into the chorus as a longer note, for Flavour 

chorus again, but now the phrasing is different

lean directly into the bridge

introducing a bunch of miscellaneous random harmonies on certain phrases i wanted to emphasize

but ANOTHER trick i did there was REMOVE the hums on “a simple human friend”

...before letting it ALL pile back on for “she can’t burn” - the third chorus with different phrasing

fifth and sixth verses introduce the famous counter lyrics

it’s an entirely new voice doing entirely different things; it’s agnes speaking over the chorus that was telling her story for her, disagreeing with it, telling it to stop

“i am not your prayer.”

this counter lyric makes it into a dialogue, not just a hymn.

let EVERYTHING come down on the very final chorus, added even MORE harmony bits (there’s a very high one right at the very end that i wonder sometimes if anyone noticed)

taper off at the end by shedding layers one by one

faded the guitar loop slowly

reduced it to the two hums that have been consistent throughout

after they both hum one full round together over no guitar, i removed the high one so that there is just one half a round left with ONLY the low hum

which was intended to evoke the image of just... the last person standing in the echoing cathedral after the choir has filed out, still humming the song by themselves.

and there you have THAT. holy mother of G-D i have so many words okay i am so sorry. so now, without further ado:

BLOODWATER BALLAD

i really did just wake up in the middle of the night and go eric? eric???? eric???? time to write an ocean ballad.

you wouldn’t necessarily tie eric to the ocean, but all i needed was one word from him and i was off my shits. absolutely just out of my mind cuckoo bananas.

and i couldn’t rightly call it a shanty because it’s not a work song! it’s not encouraging or loud and shouting. it’s basically a reverse murder ballad. a murdered ballad. it’s very haunting, and my use of pirate phrases is intended to cause some significant amount of pain!

[pauses to look at two ships passing and all the nautical themes in there.] [looks in the other direction towards my 3 novel series about the ocean] [looks at the island i live on] no i don’t have a very specific bias. who are you

anyway, i’m not going to spoil the lyrics and all, but i can still explain the tone and my process because i’m pretty sure that you’re all going to die regardless of what you think you’re expecting. the actual words and the harmonies are Raw.

to start, though, it’s only 9 tracks so far!!!! we just have:

the background ambiance

the tempo SFX

base vocal

base vocal 2 (NOT a copy paste of the first one, but a whole second recording with just enough differences in some inflections that you can Tell it’s different)

low chorus harmonies

very short burst of high chorus harmonies on just the first lines

verse harmonies

verse hum,

some ghostly ohs. for maximum haunting flavour

it’s VERY compact and neat, i’m cleaning up my files as i go, i’m doing my best to NOT give myself angina. i don’t actually plan on adding more to it than that other than some bridge harmonies, and HOPEFULLY a bit of percussion if i can find a way to make it work! i am pretty pleased with what i’ve managed to do in the last two days, i actually really hope i can finish it tomorrow.

so, his basic structure is this:

10 second introduction of background ambiance and the tempo SFX

which i really do think you’re going to lose your minds over because it’s a very specific, evocative sound that makes my heart hurt

first verse is isolated for the first word only

i introduce the hum here straight after that, but it’s very gentle

second verse is the same

until i end the very last words with the introduction of the second base vocal track, to emphasize. Something.

two-part chorus, each part four lines

every chorus in the song begins with the same first line, but all the rest following are different every single time. MUCH more complicated than firesorrow girl’s two lines with drawn out notes

low harmony for ALL choruses

but the line that repeats gets an extra special high harmony on JUST that

third and fourth verse:

have the hum througout

introduce another high harmony with a slight lyrical deviation

i isolate the vocals and cut the harmonies on a Single Line that i want to absolutely SLAUGHTER you in one shot so ha :’)

second chorus, completely different words (probably my favorite one, ngl)

the ghostly “ohs” are spaced in between the chorus sporadically

they alternate between a clear oh and a radio static oh.

first chorus: clear, ghost, ghost

second chorus: ghost, clear, ghost

third chorus: ghost, clear, omitted

no i won’t tell you the significance there. it’s just the pattern that happened :-)

i am still working on the bridge! but it’s a four part (four lines per part) bridge, too, with a deviated melody

i’m going to add a low hum or SOMETHING to it, but that’s a problem for tomorrow ron

what i DO have is the two layered base vocal tracks. which hoho.

i leave the vocals layered when he’s singing about a specific person. then i cut bits from the second track (the more intense one) and leave the soft original base track to sing solo when he sings about someone else.

no i won’t tell you who! or what it means!!!! it’s just gonna hurt you as much 

fifth and sixth verse have the same high harmonies as the third and fourth

final chorus, even Crazier words, introducing another character

the omitted Oh in this one is to create an empty space before his final words

the low harmony’s counter lyric is FUCK WILD

and i leave the layering on for Reasons :)

ends by total vocal cutoff, leaving only the ambiance and the tempo SFX

So Yeah! I Can’t Wait To See What You Guys Think!

this, however, has forced me to confront some things about myself.

SUMMARY

this bitch can only write long ballads! what!!!!

the basic composition of both of these songs is very similar both because i have limited options seeing as i can’t play instruments/don’t know how to use programs, and they’re the best way for me to communicate stories.

so, my signature is apparently “5 minute ballad about a tragic side character that tells their story/communicates to someone directly at the end in a determined way that we the listener knows does not amount to success.”

who the fuck knew my style would be so specific once i got around to actually making music haha. like really there are definitely noticeable differences between them and they do not even REMOTELY sound the same, but we follow this structure:

two four-line verses

chorus (the major structural difference lies here in two vs four lines)

two four-line verses

chorus

four four-line parts for the bridge

two four-line verses

chorus

tapered off ending

layered hum harmonies. harmohums. love it.

so we have the religious cathedral song vibe of firesorrow girl, and the Ghosts On A Ship In The Rain vibe of bloodwater ballad. i find it kind of fun that while i follow these similar guidelines, they’re literally. fire and water. completely opposite in theme despite the similarities in how their stories end. which is to say, in death and with the people who controlled their lives speaking over them. 

there are major differences in those endings, though. you’ll see what i mean when you hear it.

okay i need to stop i am so amazed if you read this far wow thanks LOL i just. it helps to write this stuff out and make sense of myself tbh!!!!

[transarchivist]

What is Eskew about? Like what's the plot/premise? I everything I can find is just talking about themes or ideas or metaphors I can't find anything about the actual podcast story.

Follow-up: is Eskew scary? On a scale of 1(the TMA episode with the oblivious plumber) to 10(whatever episode you find scariest idk I'm a baby I cried while listening to Angler Fish)

Right! Eskew time :D

Plot/premise wise, Eskew mainly follows David Ward as he chronicles the strange stuff that happens in the city, Eskew. You could make Nightvale comparisons, but Eskew is a thousand times more sinister. David is usually a direct participant/target of the weird stuff, so it's much more... gripping? than wtnv's (or tma's statements) passive recountments. It's a much more fluid (?) narrative than say tma or wtnv, as the characters don't really have a "home base" and are continuously moving thru the narrative. (Don't mean any shade to tma or wtnv, sorry if my wording seemed that way!) Additionally, there's a second narrator in Riyo Duale, who is basically a private investigator! (Love her. She's amazing.)

As for how scary.... I've seen people say it's scarier than tma on average? It's a bit difficult to compare the two, as the framing of each is very different (other people's past scary encounters versus Being A Part Of Scary Encounter). Eskew is definetly horror and definetly scary, but I will say that it balances horror and humor with David's narration. Dude's wild. In one ep he laments and waxes sad and creepy poetry for a full minute, and then says "As you can probably guess from my tone, I've started dating again."

That paragraph got away from me a bit. Anyways, I am not the best at judging how scary things are (as jump scares are really the only things that Get Me), so if anyone has anything to add, please do!

Summary: One of those podcasts about a dude in a town, but this ones legit terrifying. Honestly the best imagery I've ever heard in a podcast. Scary but also David's narration is stellar. The ending is amazing and emotionally satisfying. You might cry. One of those shows that you listen to and feel like a different person afterwards.

(Anyone is free to add on, esp abt how scary it is!)

[beeing-stuupid]

#49

Once you step forward it hits you.

The pungent smell clings to the paint

of the home you once called yours

but this home cannot be.

For it houses the rot that cakes on the walls.

Not your walls,

It is not your home.

Not anymore.

[beeing-stuupid]

#38

Everything clings to my skin

My clothes, my sweat

It sticks and covers the expanse of my body

Leaving me gasping for air

Air that sticks

Dragging down my throat

And I can’t breathe

[beeing-stuupid]

#45

I look at the reflection

See the meat clinging desperately to the bones

See the dark circles where the eyes are sunken in

See the sickly skin sagging from the face.

My expression is of distaste.

What is this thing that stares back at me?

I think but cannot say

Because despite all this body has gone through

It is still me

[beeing-stuupid]

#43

Being pulled forward

Into the growing expanse

Drowned in lack of space

[beeing-stuupid]

#52

Time is slipping

from your hands

as you try to grasp the life

that tiredly dances in trails of fire.

[beeing-stuupid]

#44

She called out to death

Asking it to wait for her

As she said goodbye

[beeing-stuupid]

#42

There is something in the corner of my room

Lurking in the corners of my sight

But vanishing once my eyes begin to search.

There is something in the corner of my room

Clinging to the darkness

And not daring to drift into the further sea of black.

There is something in the corner of my room.

I don’t want it to stay there

But I can’t see it.

So it stays in the corner of my room

Until light breaks through the curtains

[beeing-stuupid]

RAHHHH IM FINALLY UP TO DATE WITH MY WEEKLY POETRY AFTER PROCRASTINATING ON IT FOR LIKE 3 WEEKS 🔥🔥

and i’ve also completed all fourteen of smirke’s 14 fears!! i might do an extinction one but it might end up being a tad too difficult cuz how the hell am i supposed to write about the extinction

[beeing-stuupid]

#48

You can feel it right?

The twisting and turning of the pathway

as your feet guide you

but they twist and turn along with the gravel.

Why did you go there?

That wasn’t the route.

That wasn’t the plan

Stay on the pathway.

Is it really your fault?

You promised you didn’t know.

It’s just your mind

It plays tricks on you

And you can feel the twisting of the pathway again

The twisting of the gravel

The twisting of your feet

And the twisting of your mind

As you try to stay on the pathway.

[beeing-stuupid]

#46

Dance with me

To the melody of the gunfire

To the beat of bodies

As they drop to the floor

Spin me in your arms

While hearts spin in your hands

Suddenly free from their prison

Suffocating in bone

Let the orchestra guide you

The wind push you

As you push the lives around

Toward a bottomless pit in hell