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“Mind your business Sherlock”

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im looking for a homo dentist to fuck

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i miss her (dashboard unfucker)

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https://twitter.com/vagina_museum/status/1628046312275935232

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kim kitsuragi hades style…

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I’m watching Splash (1984) which is a romcom about a guy who falls in love with a mermaid, and when she chooses a human name she chooses Madison and guy says “that’s not a real name, but alright” which seems to imply that Madison was not a name until at least the 80’s and all girls named Madison are actually named after the mermaid. thought you should know

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Every year in early spring, when the time comes to burn all the broom and brambles I have cleared during the winter, I have this idea that it's going to be a peaceful, meditative experience. I usually do it at night and I look forward to admiring the colourful dancing majesty of a great fire under the stars, while sitting in its circle of warmth and thinking about my cavewoman ancestors and their relationship to fire.

And then I light the fire and realise there will be no sitting, because dry broom and brambles burn so very fast, I have to keep feeding the fire at an utterly stakhanovian pace so it doesn't die out before I've had time to get rid of all the green waste I've got lying around. Every spring I'm like "... this is a lot more Active and less philosophical than I remembered."

It's better when I have a friend over to act as a fire assistant, because in this case we can take turns so that one of us gets a few minutes of dreamy Fire Appreciation here and there. Looking up at the shower of sparks in the sky, looking for shapes in the flames. Here's a Fire Hen!

Well, I usually see nothing but nudibranchs, to be honest. Remember my cake that looked like a sea bunny? Turns out I can see marine gastropods in anything. It's a gift.

But I didn't have a fire assistant tonight and I regretted it a bit—and then once I had burnt every pile of branches and broom within reach, I finally remembered why I associate this early-spring chore with sitting around quietly and introspectively.

... it takes a lot of time for a fire to die out! You think it's almost done and then a small gust of wind sends the embers glowing brightly again. The preceding frenzy of activity was just a necessary evil to get to this peaceful moment. I wasn't misremembering; there really is ample time to curl up on the grass in the circle of warmth and watch shiny colours and think about your place in the universe.

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what if you wore a shirt that featured a picture of you trying to claw your way out of the shirt with a horrid desperate expression and the text "THAT'S NOT ME THAT'S NOT ME I'M TRAPPED IN THE SHIRT"

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maybe i’m a joyless bitch but i actually do NOT think it’s funny to see women being like “the house is just in my husbands name” or “my husband makes all the money” or “i don’t even know who our mortgage is with” or “the only bank account/credit card is his and i get an allowance” like i do NOT find that cute or romantic and i am begging these women to Stand Up. you should at least be named on the deed to your house and the title to your car and the bank accounts even if you don’t pay for them/earn all the money. you can’t stop existing in the eyes of the law and the credit unions simply because you have a husband. if you’re raising his children and washing his socks half of everything he’s got is yours and it needs to be yours LEGALLY BY NAME. "he takes such good care of me :)" girl you are a PRISONER!! that’s all

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Inspired by this

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This panic happens like every few months.

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wdym the voices of EIFFEL, KEPPLER, JACOBI, ERIS AND MAXWELL will be in a ROMCOM audio drama about music... im actually going FUCKING INSANE IS ANYONE ELSE AWARE OF THIS !!!!!!!!!

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*LOUD THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE*

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Double Jacobi shinanigans on my mind again

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today i found out that when monarch butterflies migrate south for the winter, all the ones that go across the middle of lake superior suddenly stop going south and go west for five miles and then continue south. which really freaked scientists out cos like What is in the Middle of Lake Superior what do Butterflies know that We Dont Is This The End Times etc. anyway turns out about a hundred million years ago there was a mountain there and the butterflies still think they gotta fly around it. classic butterflies

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absurd