#i’m being serious like idk why i do this to myself
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
the only thing that’s gonna keep me from killing my self when the school year starts is the outsiders musical awaiting me
(excuse the rant in the tags 😭)
#cw sui joke#im like half kidding#dumbass is taking college physics and college history and honors trig and honors english in the same year#along with choir sculpting drawing and gym#also college spanish#i’m taking my seal of biliteracy test this year too#and i’m doing this with no lunch or periods off#i think im doing it to prove im better than my brother#that sounds twisted#i guess overworking myself will keep me occupied though?#it’ll be worth it when i have an easy senior year (i won’t im gonna overwork myself again next year)#i still haven’t done my summer hw#oops#butbyeah i’m gonna become a lot less active come september mb#anyway a114 gonna be awaiting for my burnt out ass#i might actually have a mental breakdown at the show#i’m being serious like idk why i do this to myself#oh and i have to start looking at colleges#woohoo#im being serious idk if im gonna make it to senior year lmfao#well see#(i’ll make it dw)#everything is a joke i swear#anyway#i’m alright guys dw
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
five stages of grief but it’s five stages of social anxiety
#walk with me#this morning i got a bouquet delivered to me at work randomly out of nowhere#the note basically said that i could count of the person even if for just some words of advice or a gesture that could make me laugh or mad#count on the person**#i immediately knew it’s from one of my coworkers and ngl i have a very charged?? relationship with them#in the sense that it’s very intense and we can be laughing joking and teasing or we can be really angry and pissed with each other#it can have very extreme emotions even if we just chill most of the time#idk why i think this whole year i’ve been leaning on them more?? and we started texting more often too#so we’ve been more properly friends lately#and for one i was SO EMBARRASSED for getting flowers bc my coworkers tease the shit out of everyone myself included and i’m not used to#gestures like that so obviously they were on my ass all day about it#and everyone asked about them and it’s EMBARRASSING to get that much attention#(me: i wanna be a singer / also me: can’t stand to be the center of attention)#anyway the person that sent them avoided me yesterday out of nowhere??? idk if they thought i was mad bc i didn’t reply to their texts all#weekend but i literally never reply to anyone and pms was a bitch and i just wanted to be alone#so they didn’t talk to me on monday i was mostly just working listening to music bc i was still emotional whatever#and today i did talk to my other coworkers bc it’s the day when my favorite coworker comes in and i talk to them a lot so i engaged more#and they were still ignoring me and then the flowers came in and we didn’t say a single word to each other today we just texted#they told me they sent them and that ‘they forgot’ what they sent and that it was just meant to be a nice gesture#and that bc they wanted to ‘surprise’ me and make me feel better bc i said i was sad at one point?? idek#i literally just want to tell them I HAD PMS ITS FINE I FEEL SUICIDAL ALL THE TIME and move on#bc now i’m second guessing everything they’re saying bc i thought we were friends and there’s no reason why friends can’t send each other#flowers or whatever but they’ve been avoiding me and then they keep answering my texts really weirdly and i always misinterpret flirting bc#i’m never outright romantic with anyone?? plus we’re FRIENDS i should have no reason to think that’s changed#but they’re being so weird and why get me FLOWERS??? idk get me a chocolate or a coffee i don’t NEED flowers#and then i said it was random to give me flowers out of nowhere and they’re like no it’s serious bro what’s serious??????#your feelings towards me?? or just your will to cheer me up???#if they don’t reply straight up in their next texts i’m gonna flat out say but it was a platonic gesture right???#so yeah i’m overthink getting flowers bc what’s the social code for that and what is one supposed to do when they get flowers from a friend#delivered to their joint workplace where everyone can see them and think they’re from a partner or something
27 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hug
*Hug*
#it’s really easy to dismiss why I’m upset and tell myself it’s silly and stupid but#so I went to a party with ⚡️ and 🔮 (hosted at ⚡️’s house) everyone was drinking I was the only sober one#but hearing ⚡️ and 🔮 talk about all these dates they go on trying to hook up with all these people missing people they have crushes on etc.#like what to me is huge and soul crushing and life changing to them is just. a fling or something.#I spent MONTHS in a state of suicidal ideation self harming wondering if I should commit myself over how things went with 🔮#to hear her talk about during those months she was out going on other dates trying to hook up with other people etc.#what was just another date in a long line of dates and people to her was something equal to a breakup to me#and that hurts? and it’s okay that that hurts? it’s okay that I’m upset by that?#because dating is NOT that casual for me#those two dates I went on with her were the first dates I had been on since 2021#and now I can’t even think about being with anyone else besides those two#I’m realizing just how much it hurts me that I’m someone in a long line of random dates/cheap thrills/short lived relationships#because to me they are… well shit man look how much I talk about them on here.#I don’t know if they are FPs but they’re like. Serious interests at least.#they’re who I’m comparing everyone I talk to to#I know that I’m not going to be able to really entertain the idea of flirting seriously with anyone else because I am hooked on them#and one doesn’t know and the other doesn’t care#and I don’t know what to do about it#I told 🔮 if I had a way to move on I would. does she think this is fun for me? that I’m having a good time?#that I love feeling like I want to kill myself over her? because this isn’t fucking fun for me!#THIS FUCKING SUCKS!#*sigh*#idk what else to say#punk gets mail
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
I cannot fathom the level of self importance some people must have to behave this way
#it’s more so selfishness lmao#idk I’m getting unnecessarily worked up about this but 6 months ago I kinda vanished off of everywhere and then I noticed she deleted some#messages#girl I would’ve responded later calm down gosh the messages aren’t going anywhere nor are they disappearing#dora daily#I think of all people who should be mad you’re the last one because tell me why you were so viscerally rude to me since the beginning and#played a massive part of the roaa situation by being complacent when oh ! I thought you’d side with your alleged best friend ME#girl you have no right to complain at all not to mention you take FOREVER when you have no excuse to reply back but when I’m struggling I#apparently have zero excuse ☠️ girl bye#not to mention the fact that when I was so frustrated with myself having these bad headaches and being so incapable of doing anything when#exams were so close all you had to say was what can I do#well bitch what could I have done when you were at hospital#I guarantee you I was the only one texting you 24:7 asking how you were#reassuring you that it’s okay to feel upset about being in the fucking hospital and you don’t need to have such toxic positivity all the tim#oh but when the other girl had freaking back pain from her period or something apparently that’s more of a concern#girl bye#not me who has chronic headaches and cannot even study and nothing sticking cause it’s that bad#oh but go ahead compare it to your chronic illnesss like yes it’s horrible and yes it impacts you a lot#but I don’t think it impacts your brain and memorisation capacity#not to mention how fucking jealous she is of everything like I can say oh god I was so stressed and girl she has not felt stress in her life#compared to what I go through yet she is jealous of the fact I can stress ? tf?#and when I say I almost passed out cause of exhaustion she doesn’t give a shit when I was being so serious#in truth I’ve come to realise nobody does seem to care at all lmao they all think I’m lying#why would I lie about that be so fucking fr rn#anyways this is why I simply don’t want to talk about my physical condition with anyone anymore because they’ll think I’m a liar anyways 🤷♀#not to mention the fact if you even knew me a little you’d understand that it’s so impossibly hard for me to feel comfortable enough to#complain to talk about me feeling sick or sad or whatever I only do it here cause no one follows me and no one will rlly see it at all#but even here I feel like my throat closes up and I can barely breathe when I do complain#so pls …#this one sided friendship thing is crazy cause girl how do I shake you off?
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
*2015 voice* i wish i had the chillness instead i got the mental illness
#evidence of life#tw for mental illnesses major distress illness symptoms that aren’t romanticized (lawl) suicide ableism i guess?#idk just a massive tw for what i’ve said in the notes / don’t read if descriptions of mental illnesses bother you etc#////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////#i literally had to mix rubbing alcohol into my body wash then put it all over my body except my hair to stop myself from committing suicide#i’m so serious if there’s one thing i don’t say with my convoluted levels irony it’s suicide whenever i say kms im 100% serious#suicide is literally a constant ideation for me and i just can’t teehee about it ever i think it’s because it is one of the few ways i feel#that i can take total control full autonomy#anyways isn’t crazy traumatic things will happen and we have to just keep going like im literally on tumblr after [redacted]…#also why is my psychosis so obsessed with break ins these days when i was doing my rubbing alcohol scrub it did the break in scenario#like miss girl literally nobody want us that bad take a seat…#anyways this day started out okayish and now it’s literally *burning building in the background*#i wanna try to at least make it possibly kind of better by going to watch the sunset but no promises kinda itching for more rubbing alcohol#anyways slayyyy respectfully i hope this scares off…who it usually does…#like bro i am not a manic pixie dream girl i am not a smol bean with anxiety not a depressed gloomy muse etc#i am [as described by men who thought that i was just another goth bitch with daddy issues that knew all the right moves to make me into#whatever they needed me to be and or thought i was being hyperbolic when i say i am insane in the head and the pussy (as above so below)]#‘crazy crazy’ ‘fucked up’ ‘not worth it [because i am crazy for real]’ ‘[in need for a dude who one course in psychology and thinks that and#his dick are enough to ‘cure me’ ‘weird’ ‘freak’ ‘looney’ (kinda love that one like so true) etc (bc i don’t want to talk abt this anymore)#edit: my temporary icon bothering more than it should rn ughhh bad end all around goodness
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
STIMMING NOT TWITCHING OR SHIVERING ‼️‼️
ITS CALLED STIMMING GOD IM SSUCH A DUMBASS
DISREGARD THAT PART IN FUCKSHITPOST 4.86
I CAN STIM IN THE COMFORT OF MY OWN HOME NOW WITHOUT ANYONE TO JUDGE AND ADMONISH ME BECAUSE I AM VERY VERY NEUROTYPICAL PRESENTING TO THE POINT PEOPLE REFUSE TO BELIEVE THAT I AM YKNOW EVERYTHING NO ONE WANTS TO BELIEVE IM AUTISTIC DESPITE BEING DIAGNOSED AT 2YO AND BEING NONVERBAL AND HAVING TO BE PUT IN THERAPY FOR YEARS BCS OF THAT PEOPLE R SHITTY SOMETIMES :(
#okay hot take but self diagnosis is hurting neurodivergent individuals especially feminine presenting people a FUCKING LOT#AND SHITTY REPRESENTATION TOO#FUCK YOU GOOD DOCTOR#LIL BITCH#DONT TAKE A RANDOM BUZZFEED AM I AUTISTIC QUIZ OR SOME TIK TOK POST GO ASK YOUR PRIMARY CARE PHYSICIAN FOR A TEST#IDK MAYBE THAT’LL WORK BUT JUST DONT TRUST A RANDOM LIL QUIZ#just don’t take something as serious as that at face value#these disorders are not a new quirky personality trait it’s something that causes so inconveniences and affects the lives of many people#like sure I consider myself a special little snowflake and empower my self and many mental and physical disorders/disabilities do not#define me and who i am but they do make up a huge chunk of me#and that’s okay#why do I have to be ashamed#I have many chronic diseases and mental disorders and that okay#it’s just that especially in younger people with all the cases of some individuals faking disabilities for clout end up affecting the#people who actually have said disabilities terribly and makes us seem like we’re being ignored#idk where i was going with this#anyways I’m bad at remembering words :(
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
I wonder how many times I’ve googled whether I’m having a panic attack or an anxiety attack...
#vent#hohohahhaoho anyways#I am sooooo bad responding to things....#anyways I’m literally less than five seconds my heartbeat shot up to 144 bpm so. fun <3 my lucky number 44 wouldn’t have it any other way#anyways I need to cry but I can’t cry so you understand. I’m pacing my room and standing with locked knees#and trying not to fumble or bump into things while makin my sister a snack while smilin and being normal <3#do u understand. ough what is with TODAY whhhhh. is it the aderall?? did the adderall fuck me up today?? or ?? wha??#oghghgg why am I so sweaty JUST in my pits like that’s the WORST spot to be sweaty in#kitty is here <3 she can sense when I’m crazy 🤪🤪#I’m at 160 now <3 ogohohoo ahhhhh I can’t lay down right like that the one thing you shouldn’t do with a fast heart rate#hoho anyways the crippling fear of not being who I need to be for the people I need in order to be#sounds chaotic and strange cus of phrasing but. you understand#anyways my heart doesn’t even get like this when I’m like. performing a full page monologue in front of my peers#I can pretend to be a cat for a minute and a half and tell the dog to stay in their place and not get into mine#uhmmm yea idk I want people to feel comfortable being serious around me and prove I’m the friend to go to for things or be the one who under#understands. but I always feel like. a pariah. is that the word? idk. when I feel confronted with things all I can do is like. run away. cry#suffer alone cus it’s what I deserve. yeaaaa I’m going insane can you tell I think this is the first time since like. February where I feeL#SO bad ugh idk what. I did this to myself the fuck?? haha. hope it doesn’t stress me to hair loss and skin picking and disorderd eating and#bad (or should I say worse HA) sleep habits. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm sorry my problems are minuscule to others and I haven’t had a day of#any real discrimination or struggle in my life#i have everything I need. all I have to worry about is doing class work and attending lectures and watching plays. I don’t have to get thing#a myself or worry about food or a place to live. wooofff uhmmm. I wish I had someone here to squeeze me until I don’t feel like crying any#more. oh I feel so bad what the hell. and my nail is breaking ahahaha imagine. a life where my biggest problem I have to face is#a nail breaking mhmhmhaha#haha when you hold in your tears so hard your nose drenches your chin. sorry that’s gross ahaha idk what I’m doing flooding your dash with.#whatever this is. I’ll try to stop now. sorry
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
~ ~ ~
#maybe I should just fulfill the prophecy and kill myself so I won’t end up making it to 30#cause sometimes I really don’t think it matters at all if I’m here or not#I’ve go so few friends or people in my life that I doubt I’d be noticed or missed anyway#my dad would care in the sense that I pay for everything and take care of him and without me he’s got nothing#Brie would care because we’ve been together a while but she can move on and do better than me#Don might care but he’d also miss my funeral so I’m sure he could move on pretty easily#coworkers would notice/care in the sense that they’d have to then cover my shifts too#I guess nurse Timmy would care because he’s genuinely good and we get along well but even that wouldn’t be very serious#so idk why not? it can be my present to myself you know? a little treat for having stuck it out this long in the first place#I’m just one more person who doesn’t make a difference in the grand scheme of things#and yeah we all know I won’t actually do it but I still really want to and I’m having a hell of a time trying to get the feeling to go away#this too shall pass but can it hurry the fuck up?#I’m tired of crying and being depressed and lonely and having no one I can turn to or rely on#I’m tired of having to go through this alone just like always#I’m tired in general and I just want this all to be over with for a while#personal
0 notes
Text
Smth I think about sometimes is how like, I do so much stuff to overcompensate my struggles with various things, but generally I don’t acknowledge that I’m doing outside things to overcompensate or if I do I don’t get into specifics.
And then because of that like even if I tell people I’m struggling with x thing they just won’t believe me sometimes coz they didn’t see/listen to me doing work on my own time.
Even if I’m already underperforming they won’t understand how much effort it was taking JUST TO UNDERPERFORM.
But then if I make any progress or aren’t the literal worst it’s all swept under the rug as if it’s easy for me and I just wasn’t working hard enough the whole time or something?
#thoughts#oni talks#oni vents#It weirds me out how much people will just refuse to take your word for things when it comes to having a hard time sometimes?#especially if they are someone you haven’t seen in a while like why do y’all automatically assume I’m not being serious?#I think the main times it’s frustrating is if it’s something I’ve been struggling with for a while and I have been trying to get help for it#but bc that help hasn’t been received I have been trying to deal with *insert thing* on my own (and failing) hence the asking for help#but ppl will just?? act like I never asked for help even when I do? or act as if I seemed like I didn’t need help even when I complain?#forever thinking about this one comment from a certain family member where she said “you didn’t seem like you needed/were asking for help#meanwhile me growing up struggling constantly & while I tried not to ask for help usually as a kid for obvious reasons#there were 10000% times where I would ask for help & be given absolutely nothing or I’d try to do something to help myself & be shamed#but I still never understood the concept of “you didn’t seem like you needed help” coz like?? I was obviously struggling?? even when I didnt#ask for help I was never doing particularly well? like I was actively failing out of things repeatedly but somehow I seemed fine???#I also hate how much of my effort is internal or unobservable so even I’m trying really hard it’ll look like I’m not doing anything#but idk it just frustrates me sometimes coz I’ll be struggling or complaining & ppl will be like oh it’s easy you’re fine like??#but then if I don’t ask for help and fail I get in trouble but if I do ask for help I also get in trouble it’s so irritating#granted stuff is generally a lot better now (though I still need to do more)#but idk there’s just a couple areas of knowledge where I get genuinely irritated if I’m not listened to#often it’s like that meme of I know more than you like the Ron Swanson one#but other times it’s like… did you even listen at all??#even when I’m trying to relax it’s often calculated (which tends to make it harder lol)#in terms of overcompensating it’s like sometimes it’s rough bc I know if I DO manage a decent job it’ll be even higher expectations#idk sometimes it’s frustrating when people just assume I’m not trying when I am? i definitely could try harder but also willpower is limited#& I don’t wanna burn myself out coz then I’m gonna get further behind#it’s a wonder how much ppl take for granted their perceptions of you when they aren’t even paying close attention to you#or like?? yall could just ask me?? it’s wild like i feel like i gotta pre emptively explain myself sometimes
0 notes
Text
• smut • literally everyone here is so problematic (but oh, so hot) [part 2 of drunk words, sober thoughts] — best friend! dom top! jealous! theodore nott x gn! bottom/receiving! dumbass! reader x best friend! switch! jealous! manwhore! mattheo riddle
tysm to the anon who gave me this idea ur a real one 🤲👑
okay so like, i never really state it in text but like, reader, theo, and mattheo have been like a best friend trio since first year alr?
working on a part three rn you silly lil horndogs
read the title man idk
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
“We can’t keep doing this,” you mumbled, but your head still tilted to the side to grant him better access.
“Why not?” He asked, kissing along the newly-freed skin of your neck and lightly biting down on your collarbone.
You let out a breathy half-moan. “We can’t- this isn’t fair for either of us. I can’t give you a real relationship.”
“I don’t care about that,” he said dismissively, tilting his head up to suck on the sensitive flesh on the underside of your jaw. “As long as I can have you in my bed.”
“How romantic,” you deadpan.
He laughed, shutting you up with yet another sharp thrust of his hips. “Never said I was, darlin’.”
You gasped and moaned. “Fuck! Th-there!”
He followed your directions, gripping your hips tighter and driving into you with renewed vigor.
Your thighs trembled and your nails raked along his back as you came with a low moan of his name.
He followed right after you, moaning and burying his face into the side of your neck. His hair, damp with sweat, brushed against your jaw, making you smile as you felt him shake above you.
He caught his breath after a moment, pulling out and rolling off of you. “You know that you can’t just keep sleeping with me to forget about him, right?”
“Oh, c’mon. Like you’re gonna complain? Don’t you want a hot-albeit-emotional-disaster such as myself in your bed?”
“I mean, I’m not gonna say no to that,” he snickered, reaching over the side of his bed to retrieve his shirt from the pile of discarded clothes before tugging it over your head and helping you get your arms through the sleeves. He laid back down so you could curl into his side, wrapping an arm around your middle and mindlessly running his fingers up and down your side.
You both lay in a comfortable silence for a moment before you quietly murmured, “Thank you.”
“For the sex or the pep talk?” He teased, running a gentle hand through your hair.
“Both,” you give him a half smile, leaning up to kiss his cheek. “But really, I mean it. Thank you, Mattheo.”
~~~
“That’s it, shit- yeah, fuck,” Mattheo moaned, dropping his quill on his desk in favor of threading his fingers through your hair. “So good- so damn good at this.”
You’d really thought you’d be able to go to the library with Mattheo after school “to study”. And you were doing plenty of that, if studying what that fine Riddle dick looks like up close is going to be a question on your Charms exam. Which, y’know, it probably won’t.
You could feel your legs cramping up from being curled up in a kneeling position underneath the table for the past ten minutes, but that didn’t stop you from tightening your grip on his thighs and taking him down as far as you could go.
His grip on your hair tightened in warning. “Shit- someone’s coming,” he hissed.
You pulled off of him just to sassily respond with, “Yeah, you.”
With just a few pumps of your fist, wrapped tight around his dick, Mattheo fell apart in the middle of the library.
~~~
“Fuck! Yes- shit!” Mattheo groaned and cursed.
“Shut the fuck up,” you hissed. “Are you trying to get caught?”
“I won’t claim to not be an exhibitionist,” he said in a mock-serious tone. “Besides, tell me this isn’t a hot place to fuck.”
“This isn’t a hot place to fuck,” you scoffed as you tightened your legs around his waist. “If I drown in this damn lake ‘cause of you, I will haunt your bitchass.”
~~~
“You seem to be awfully…close with Matt right now,” Theo said in an odd, stilted tone.
“Yeah,” you said shortly. “We are.”
“That’s…nice, I guess.” Theodore cleared his throat. “Riddle’s cool.”
“Yup,” you said in a bored tone, not even sparing a glance in his direction.
Theo huffed out an annoyed sigh, abandoning his fruitless questioning. “Whatever. Can you pass the butter?”
~~~
“Am I interrupting something?”
“Yeah, kinda.” Mattheo drawled.
“Apologies, won’t happen again,” Theo sneered, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning against the door frame as he surveyed the scene in front of him.
His longtime crush, sprawled out naked on his best friend’s bed. He kept his eyes trained pointedly at your faces, making no acknowledgment of the fact that Mattheo was three fingers deep inside you.
“So, like- this is real awkward,” Mattheo licked his lips and pursed them, unabashedly meeting Theo’s gaze and quirking an eyebrow. “You can either leave or come in, but either way, you gotta shut the door, man. That’s just common courtesy.”
Theo scoffed. “Are you seriously suggesting I stay?”
“I’m not not seriously suggesting you stay.”
“I’m not watching my best friends have sex, you fuckin’ freak.”
“Shit, what d’ya want me to say then, Mr. Prude?” Mattheo rolled his eyes. “You rather join in?”
“I’m not having a threesome with my best friends!”
“Coward.”
Theo spluttered out a protest that fell on deaf ears.
“Boys, boys, we get it. You’re both pretty,” you say dryly. “Either stay or don’t, Nott, but I’m getting fucked either way.”
Theo hesitated at the doorway before cursing under his breath and stepping inside and shutting the door behind him. “I hate you both.”
“We hate you too,” you and Mattheo replied dryly in unison.
Theo scoffed and took a hesitant step closer. He chewed on his bottom lip nervously and looked at you as he sat awkwardly on the edge of the bed. “What about the…y’know, disagreement?”
You rolled your eyes. “Oh, I’m still mad at you for that.”
“Yeah, and I’m mad at you too!” Mattheo interjected before leaning in to loudly whisper to you, “What exactly are we mad at him for?”
“Teddy’s only been my friend for the last six years because he thought he’d get lucky.” You said through a tight smile.
“That’s not- I- I mean, it kind of is, but- it’s-”
“That’s kind of a dick thing to do, Teddy,” Mattheo said in a mocking tone.
“Oh, shut the fuck up, Riddle. Like you’re not doing the exact same thing!”
“Wait, what?” You interrupted at that, but the boys continued arguing.
“You don’t get to call dibs on a person, Nott!”
“You don’t get to hook up with your best friend's crush, Riddle!”
“Oh, like you’re one to talk,” Mattheo seethed.
“Boys!” You snapped suddenly.
They both went dead silent, looking over at you with matching deer-in-headlights expressions like they’d forgotten you were there—despite the fact that you were the literal topic of their argument.
“Are you done with the damn fighting?” You prompted, your eyes narrowing.
“Yes, Y/n,” both boys chorused sheepishly, only to shoot each other glares when they thought you weren’t looking.
“Good boys,” you taunted. “Now, kiss and make up.”
“What? I’m not going to-” Theo spluttered.
“I wasn’t asking, Theodore.”
“Fine,” Theo seethed in annoyance, grabbing Mattheo by the back of his neck and yanking him into a harsh kiss. There was no romance there. No lust, no real passion. Just jealousy and anger.
Mattheo, ever the slut, still moaned and grabbed onto Theo’s hips to pull him closer, practically climbing into his lap.
Theo growled, biting down hard on his bottom lip. Mattheo whimpered and unabashedly started grinding against Theo’s thigh, moaning like a goddamn Muggle porn star.
“Fucking whore,” Theo hissed against his lips, shoving him back down onto his bed. “Thought I could trust you.”
“What, so it’s okay for you to incessantly chase Y/n, but when I do it, I’m a whore?”
“Yes!”
“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard, Nott.”
You rolled your eyes at their pettiness. “For the love of Merlin- you’re both stupid, how about that?”
They pause their bickering to glance over at you.
“What did you just call us, darlin’?” Mattheo asked in a suspiciously calm voice, seemingly unbothered by the fact that his best-friend-slash-current-enemy-slash-crush-stealer was actively straddling him and busying himself by nibbling and sucking at Mattheo’s neck.
A sarcastic comment died in your throat as you watched them interact. Despite Theo being preoccupied, coaxing tiny sounds out of Mattheo’s mouth with every jealousy-fueled nip at his neck, his gaze remained locked on yours.
You gulped. You’d been so confident before, but now they were staring at you with matching expressions of jealousy, possessiveness, and lust.
Ah.
Whoops.
#harry potter#hp#fuck jkr#hp x male reader#x reader#x male reader#theodore nott#theodore nott x reader#theo nott#hp x gn reader#theodore nott smut#theo nott x reader#mattheo riddle#mattheo riddle smut#mattheo riddle x reader#mattheo riddle x male reader#gn reader#x gn reader#gender neutral reader#x gender neutral reader
977 notes
·
View notes
Text
The Shining, 1980
Pairing: Buck x Reader
Word count: 2.9k
Notes: I finished!!! I actually did the kinktober challenge I set out to do and idk I might CRY cause when do I ever finish anything 🥹🥹 thanks for reading all my super shitty work homies like it means a lot that you stick with me. Back to work on my inbox! 🧡
Day 16: Thigh Job
You and Buck had been dating for a few weeks now, and nothing had really gone much past kissing and him feeling you up. He wasn’t even sure why. Maybe it was him? Maybe he didn't shower enough. Or maybe you weren���t into him like that, which was okay! But he just wished you would tell him.
He sets his bag down and turns to Eddie “ I don't know dude... Maybe she wants to break up with me”
“You guys haven’t exactly been together all that long.. Maybe she’s hesitant? Have you tried just talking about it?”
“How lame am I gonna sound!” Buck scoffs, resting his head against his locker “Hey Y/N Why haven't you let me rail you through my mattress?”
Eddie tosses his head back letting out a sharp laugh before slamming his locker shut.
“Man up and talk to her about it. Lord knows communication is definitely the best avenue.”
“I’m.. not sure I should be taking advice from you when it comes to that”
Bobby finds Buck locked in the supply closet 20 minutes later.
Buck drops his bag at the door as he walks in, he sighs and looks down at your number on his phone, he’d just invite you over for a quick dinner, maybe some wine and he’d talk to you.
Communication is key.
He stops in his tracks as he looks over at his counter, there’s a row of Chinese take-out boxes and you’re setting out silverware.
“Oh- h-hi” you blush, “I let myself in, I hope you don’t mind”
“Of course I don’t” He smiles widely as he comes over and scoops you up in his arms while hugging you tightly. He sets you back down with a sweet kiss on your forehead and pets your head
“What are you doing here cutie?” He hums happily as you pull him down to your height and peck his lips
“I wanted to talk to you”
Even if he wanted the same thing, his heart still drops to his feet, his smile is uneasy and clearly stressed.
“O-oh? Uh- okay… what um- what about?” He crosses his arms over his broad chest, trying to seem confident, but you can see right through it. You put your hands up fast, shaking your head.
“It’s nothing serious!! Well, it’s- it’s serious but nothing bad!! I just- I wanted to explain myself!”
He groans loudly as his arms fall and he melts into your arms, you giggle as he buries his face in your neck, letting you hold most of his body weight to your chest.
“Why the fuck would you scare me like that!!!” He whines and you coo at him while running your nails through his hair
“Awwww baby I’m sorry” you laugh “It’s just about sex”
He perks up and you swat at his chest as he immediately pulls away and kisses your face
“Well, well, don’t let me interrupt you. Please, go on” He wriggles his eyebrows, his face is so close to yours that it makes you smile when you kiss his nose
“I know you’ve been kind of… antsy,” You say as he settles down against you. He’s practically bent in half to be less tall than you are, looking so sweet and innocent as he eagerly listens
“Have I?”
You roll your eyes playfully and his eyes flit down to your lips, watching as you bite down on them.
“Yes, you have… and I realize, that I haven’t exactly been… reciprocating”
“Really? Hadn’t noticed” He mumbles, his eyes still on your lips and you groan, pushing his face away
“Buck! I’m being serious!” You pout and it’s his turn to coo as he sets you on the counter. He puts his arms on either side of you, trapping you, and smiles softly
“Okay, okay I’m sorry… you’re right. Now, what’s going on?”
“Your dick is literally too big and I’m afraid it’s going to hurt if we don’t take it slow but I’m going to burst if you don’t throw me down on the floor and take me and I don’t know what to do”
His jaw drops as you blurt it all out in one fast sentence. He blinks a couple of times, his mouth gaping and he turns away for a second before looking back at you.
“I’m sorry… what?” He gestures wildly and you slap your hands over your face.
“I’m… smaller than average okay! It- it takes a little work and… I just didn’t know if that was something you could deal with.”
“What’s… a little work?” And you know he’s asking seriously by the sincere look on his face, he reaches out and cups your cheek with his hand and you lean into it. You spend the next hour explaining everything to him over dinner. He sits crisscross on the couch as he listens to you intently over his container of chow mein.
“I wish you’d have said something sooner baby… I could have been blowing your back out by now”
You snort and set your empty carton down on the coffee table
“You’re such an idiot”
“Mhm, you say that now… but this idiots got ideas baby, trust me. There’s more than one way to have sex”
It’s not until four days later Buck corners you in the apartment, you’re doing the dishes when he puts his hands on either side of the sink, trapping you between his arms.
“Hello Buck,” You say as you keep rinsing your dish, and his hands move to take it from you, rinsing it for you.
“Hey baby” He purrs in your ear, kissing your neck, you watch him wash a couple more dishes before craning your neck to look at him and pecking his cheek.
“Can I help you?”
“Mmm.. maybe, depends. You busy?”
“Apparently not,” You gesture and he smirks, taking the dish towel and drying your hands before his. You look at the clock on the stove “You’re kinda early”
“I begged Reynolds to come in early for me, it’s only a couple of hours. I couldn’t wait any longer”
“Any longer for what?”
“I bought you something” He grins eagerly and finally lets you go. He puts his hands on your hips when you turn around, kissing you softly and pulling you over to the island. There’s a pretty pink box in the middle with a white bow around it. He pulls away and nods his head over at it, his eyebrows wriggling.
“Ya gonna open it? You should open it!”
You giggle and reach for it, pulling it to the edge of the counter “Alright, alright, I’m opening it”
You pull the bow and remove the cover, there are hearts all over the tissue paper, clearly hand drawn and you smile at them before pulling the paper back. There’s a brand new lingerie set in it, it’s black and strappy with little hearts where the nipples are
“Buck” You gawk and he grins, pushing the baby doll aside so you can see the crotchless panties underneath and your breath hitches.
“I want you to go take a shower, pretty yourself up a bit, and put this on” His hands slide up your arms, grinning as he feels the goosebumps “Take all the time you need, I’m gonna run to the store for a minute okay?”
“O-okay” you mumble as you stare at it and he takes your chin between his fingers, turning you to face him.
“You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen in my entire damn life and you were just doing the dishes” He pecks your nose and you giggle a little
“My plan works even if you don’t want to do all that, I just know you kinda prefer to doll up sometimes you know? I just wanted to give you a chance. But whatever you decide is sexy to me no matter what”
You smile as he cups your cheek, leaning into his reassurances “You better hurry up” you tell him “Don’t keep me waiting”
He pecks your lips and grabs his keys from the counter “I promise I’ll be so quick baby” He turns to run out the door but comes back, kissing you again and biting his lip “Okay, okay, I’m going”
You watch him leave, standing at the counter for a minute waiting to see if he comes back, when he doesn’t you grab the box and go running up the stairs to shower.
Buck takes his time at the store because even if he’s itching to get home he wants to give you time to clean up. He stares at the rows of candy in front of him, grabbing a few of your favorites, he didn’t really need to be at the store but it was a good way to kill time and an even better way to get you more presents. He’s reaching for those pretzels you like when he gets a text, a picture from you. His jaw drops as he stares at his phone, You’re sat in front of his full-length mirror on your legs, your hand between your legs as you give him the cutest little smile.
He’s gonna have to ask Athena to fix that speeding ticket for him.
He throws the front door open and launches the bags onto the counter
“Daddy’s home baby!” He yells and he can hear you burst out laughing from upstairs. He takes the steps three at a time and collapses at the top of the stairs before dragging himself over to the bed. You’re sat in the middle of it, perfectly poised, buffing your nails
“You good?” You look over the edge.
“I’m- Jesus- fuck I’m-“ he pants, giving you a thumbs up and you giggle.
“Need a minute?”
“Think I pulled a hammy” He wheezes and you roll over on the bed laughing at him, your hair hangs around you like a curtain as you look down at him, your eyes are so sweet and wide as he holds a hand out to your cheek.
“Remember me as I was, wild, and free”
You climb down from the bed and settle on top of him, flipping your hair to the side as you place your hands on his chest.
“Are you okay?”
His heart skips a beat as he looks up at you, his hands finding their home on your hips. Your skin is so soft and smooth, he even admires the soft shimmer from the body oil you used.
“Yeah I’m good.. just bein’ dramatic” he chuckles quietly, his hands sliding down your thighs as he sits up.
“You look… so damn good” He mumbles, before kissing you, his tongue tangled with yours immediately, things went as they usually do, his touches are so featherlight and teasing and he grins.
“Okay baby,” He takes you from his lap and stands up, pulling you with him and kissing you again before putting your hands on his belt.
“I thought we could try something. I’m willing to take everything as slow as you need to, I promise. I just thought you might go for this”
“Go for what?” You undo his belt slowly and he watches you, his hands ghosting up and down your arms slowly
“You’ll see” he teases, as you let his pants drop, freeing his hard length. It bobs heavily between his legs, the tip already glistening with precum.
“You’re ridiculously sexy” You mumble as you look up at him and he cups your face, kissing you deeply while moaning.
“Funny, I was just about to say the same thing…”
He grabs your hips, positioning you in front of him
“Now do me a favor. Keep those pretty little thighs together, mhm, just like that” He watches the way you squeeze your thighs together, shuddering at the friction.
With that, he puts the tip of his cock against your slick folds, rubbing it up and down your slit. You groan together at the sensation, his hips rocking gently as he coats himself in your arousal.
You look down with wide eyes, watching him sliding in between your legs
“O-oh my” You mumble and he smirks his free hand slides up your body, pushing your bra up to expose your breasts fully. He palms the soft flesh, tweaking and pinching your nipples roughly as he continues to thrust harder between your thighs.
Buck groans as you squeeze your thighs tighter around his cock, the pressure and friction driving him wild. He can feel your slick arousal coating his shaft with each thrust, making the glide deliciously smooth.
"That's it, baby, just like that," he pants, his hips snapping faster now.
"Gonna make you cum so hard on my dick. Wanna feel you shake and moan for me."
He reaches between your bodies, spreading your lips so your clit drags against his cock more. You gasp, your body jolting against his as you grip his arms tighter.
“B-Buck please, just- just the tip“ you gasp, looking up at him, your eyes wide with lust “I need you”
Buck slows his thrusts, looking down at you with a heavy mix of lust and concern. He cups your face gently, brushing his thumb over your cheek.
"Just the tip, baby? You sure? I don't want to hurt you," he murmurs, searching your eyes.
You nod eagerly and he carefully positions himself at your entrance, the head of his cock just barely slipping inside. He holds himself there, letting you adjust to the size.
"That's it, baby girl. Nice and slow. Tell me if it's too much, okay? I've got you."
He starts to rock his hips, pushing in a little deeper with each movement. His other hand slides down to keep rubbing your clit, helping to ease the stretch and keep you focused on the pleasure.
"Fuck, you're so tight. Feels like you're squeezing me so good already. Gonna make me cum if you keep this up."
He leans down to capture your lips in a heated kiss, swallowing your moans and whimpers. His tongue laps at your mouth, stroking along sensually as he continues to thrust shallowly, he’s never practiced so much control in his life and he’s not even bothered by it.
Your head falls against his shoulder, your soft breaths fanning across his chest.
“J-just like that” You whimper, your body trembling against this “Oh god just like that”
He holds you close, his arms wrapped securely around your trembling curves. He continues to thrust shallowly, the head of his cock just barely dipping inside your tight heat with each movement.
“You're doing so good, taking me so well. Such a perfect little angel," he murmurs encouragingly, his lips brushing against her ear.
His hand on your clit never stops its maddening circles, keeping you right on the edge. He picks up the pace slightly, still keeping his thrusts shallow but adding a little more force behind them. His other hand slides down to grip your ass, kneading gently and pulling you tighter against him.
“Cum for me, baby, wanna hear those pretty little moans as you fall apart on my cock."
Your thighs shake as you cum, your chest heaving as you grip his arms, your nails digging into them as your orgasm crashes over you in delightfully intense waves.
Buck groans deeply as he feels your orgasm rip through you, your walls clamping down around him like a vice. He buries his face in your neck, biting down on the sensitive skin as he fights the urge to thrust deeper.
He growls into your neck, his cock pulsing as he spills his load into you, you moan as you feel it spilling down your thighs. You reach down quickly, pumping his cock and sliding it just a little deeper inside you, letting him coat your walls. He whimpers into your neck while you squeeze his cock, milking him for all he’s worth.
He pulls away shakily before collapsing onto the bed and bringing you with him. He wraps his arms around you, snuggling into you like the little cuddle bug he is and you giggle breathlessly, kissing the top of his hair.
“You know you started something now” He mumbles against your skin as you drag your nails through his hair, scratching his scalp.
“Oh?” You say and he nods, craning his neck up to look at you.
“Oh definitely, just the tip? I can work with that. Doesn’t take much to make you my little cream pie”
Your cheeks flush in embarrassment and you whack his arm.
“Buck!”
“And don’t you worry baby we’ll get you used to my size I promise, maybe we can buy some toys or something! Take things nice and easy, find some good ways to tease you open”
“You really want to take your time with me huh?”
“More than anything” He smiles, cuddling into you closer and nuzzling his head against you so you’ll keep petting him and humming happily when you do
“Hey Buck?” you whisper a little while later, tugging at his hair to get his attention.
“Hmm?” He mutters, half asleep.
“You um…. You think you might be up for a round two?”
Suddenly he’s awake again, you shriek as he yanks your body on top of his and shoves your thighs upward, you awkwardly scramble to slap your hands on the windows in front of you and he puts his arms over your thighs and holds your hips. You feel his breath fanning across your pretty pussy and you moan softly, putting your head against the windows.
“I mean yeah if you wanted to sure”
#words by rhys#rhys writes#911 x reader#911 fox#eddie diaz#911 show#911 abc#evan buckley#evan buckley x reader#evan buckley imagine#evan buck buckely#kinktober 2024
146 notes
·
View notes
Text
Even logging in here makes me feel sick whatttt
#I think I need like a whole break off of social media completely#but then I’d just be staring at the wall#dora daily#like I feel so sick like I’m gonna throw up just from this stupid app#also update but I did a horrible thing …#sigh.#I made something for that girl who keeps making me almost off myself#and I’m tweaking cause she didn’t say anything regarding it#itsokitsokitsokitsokitsokitsokitsok#<- i feel insane#please I can’t rn#(not talking abt the girl im talking abt my situation rn-> ) like this is such torture#like idk what it’ll take for people to believe it’s serious and I’m being serious#like yall do realise im not even joking at all ? I’m literally on the way to being#institutionalised … it’s so sickening like the way this could be all avoided yk#I could be free from this situation but no#I don’t get it I don’t get it I DO NOT GET ITTTT IDOEAKSMSMASNDJDIDO#honestly it’s like the only way anyone will care atp is if I get a shotgun and shoot myself in the mouth live#fuckkkkfkdkoedls#like I don’t understand !!!! why don’t you care abt a person who’s gonna off herself if this keeps going I don’t understand#I’m ngl if you as a person know that you doing something or alternatively not doing something which is very easy for you to do/not do#like if you know an unstable person needs that thing why the fuck would you not do it#like honestly the consequences are your fault if you have the capability yet choose to do nothing#must I instruct everyone on the step by step guide on how to give a fuck !? must I treat everyone like a child ?!#everyone is grown I can’t be acting like your mothers like this#socially stupid people will genuinely cause my death and I’m not even kidding
0 notes
Text
Okay time to get sappy up in this joint.
I just wanna thank this fandom for being so awesome.
I started getting into jwcc at the end of last year, and I was a little nervous, but it feels like I’ve been here forever. There’s so many cool people I’ve met that have made me feel so welcomed.
I love creating and sharing my art with you. Whether it’s silly or serious. I have so much fun creating fanart for myself and you guys of these characters that I love so much. And even seeing what everyone create because there’s so many talented people here.
JWCC and JWCT means a lot to me. The characters mean a lot to me. This is also a thanks to anyone who worked on the shows. Cast, crew, anyone. They truly are amazing and you’ve made something special.
Uh yeah, idk why I’m doing this, but you guys are awesome. I’m so excited to get to experience s2 of chaos theory with you guys. Decided to draw the n6 as appreciation.
Thank you ♥️
#this is so stupid#but I love you guys#this fandom came to me at a time I needed it most#like genuinely life has not been fun but this has#jurassic world chaos theory#camp cretaceous#jwct#jwcc#jwct fanart#darius bowman#ben pincus#sammy gutierrez#yasmina fadoula#yasammy#jwct brooklynn#kenji kon#nublar six#my art#rambles
268 notes
·
View notes
Text
*♡∞:。.。 ᴀʟʟ ᴀʟᴏɴᴇ ᴛᴏɢᴇᴛʜᴇʀ, ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ ᴛᴏ ʏᴏᴜ? ~ 18+ ˚₊·➳❥ PILE 1 -3◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡
PILE 1 ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡
(this pile was long af, tumblr wouldn’t let me paste everything so hopefully you guys can read this well! i’m sorry!)
PILE 2 ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡
PILE 3 ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡
(rest of pile 3-sorry for how the messages came out in your pile but you needed to hear this, just to be aware and not fall for facades)
well we got someone here who don’t wanna play games with you, take you home, rub you down, pamper you, explore your body, making love to every part of your body, watching your movements and where your sweet spots are, this person isn’t one to fuck around, they’re serious about you, do you guys like licking ears or like the nibbling of ears, making the other person shiver, tingles down their spine, this person doesn’t want to rush anything, like they love to be in the moment, aware and mindful of what they’re doing to you, dirty talk is here so i feel like this person would just want to be up in your ear about what yall got going on if u know what i mean lol, verbal communication during sex is another way to stay present as well, this pile is all about being more present and aware of what you’re doing, not staying in your head, maybe your person will see that you get anxious and overwhelmed so they take their time and feel you out literally haha, but they’re just watching you paying attention to how you’re feeling, idk why the fuck i heard ushers confessions song so maybe someone here who you’re dealing with wants to open up to you in the bedroom, like sex is a good way for them to get their emotions out, talking you through it, so intense but just like the whispering sweet nothings back to one another and being vocal with each other. now i’m going to get some messages to see what’s truly going on here (use ur discernment, at the end of the day i don’t really know your story so just place it where it fits :) )
★strive- i have grown up since our last encounter, i have been working on myself to be the better person whom you can feel proud of.
♥︎divine timing- we are on the journey and the divine dance on the soul plane, it will manifest into the physical world in perfect divine timing, all we have to do is trust and have faith that all will work out beautifully.
★promise- i wish you knew just how special you are to me, it kills me not to be able to tell you, you amaze me with your compassion and kindness through this time apart, i promise i will make things right between us.
(i feel like for this newer person to come in you’ll have to purge, let go of, and just walk away from the toxic energy, im sorry for how short y’all’s pile is, choose another one IF you feel called to it)
sex on fire, do i make you nervous, on my mind
˖◛⁺⑅♡Lᵒᵛᵉᵧₒᵤ♡⑅⁺◛˖ thank you for clicking on my post and giving me a chance to read for you, i’ll post my pile 4-6 later but here’s the top three for now since tumblr has their limits haha ˖◛⁺⑅♡Lᵒᵛᵉᵧₒᵤ♡⑅⁺◛˖
✨4-6 available 💫
#18+ pac#18+ tarot#18+ pick a card#pick a card#black tarot readers#feistyvirghoe#tarot readings#oracle reading#pac reading
374 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hey. Request for kenan here.
I was thinking something in the lines of kenan and reader being in the same big friend group and kenan having a major crush on her like started off as a small crush and ended up practically in love with her and it just kept getting worse with being around and all that. Anyways and i imagine like everyone in the group knowing but the reader being absolutely cluless.
So thats like the build up but then maybe reader starts seeing this guy who treats here badly but she keeps seing him and the group gets to know and idk kenan just explodes and confesses cos he gets carried away. Idk like just a bunch of angst and stuff but i want it to end cute.
Maybe reader used to like him but shot it down long ago cos she thought he would never go dor soemone kike her
A/N: Not a lot of angst but I still hope you enjoy it
HOPELESSLY DEVOTED TO YOU - KENAN YILDIZ
When Kenan sees you being treated horribly by your ‘boyfriend’ he just has to do something about it
Kenan Yildiz x fem! reader
︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿
Being in the same friend group meant I saw Kenan all the time. I always enjoyed his company — his easy smile, his endless wit, the way he seemed to always be looking out for everyone. But I never let myself think of him that way.
I mean, why would I? Kenan was charming, confident, and the kind of guy that seemed to be out of my league.
Besides, I’d moved on. I was dating someone else now. Even if that someone else was… complicated.
Tonight, we were all out at a local bar, and for once, our entire friend group was together. Kenan sat across from me, his eyes always drifting over, like he was checking on me.
I would catch his gaze from time to time, and he’d quickly look away, as if he’d been caught. I didn’t think much of it.
But I could feel the tension tonight — and I knew it wasn’t just in my head. Things were off. Maybe it was because I had brought him — the guy I’d been seeing, who was charming one minute and cold the next.
Tonight, he was on one of his cold streaks, barely looking at me, responding with clipped words, and finding every excuse to make a passive-aggressive comment.
The group had met him before, but this was their first time seeing how he really was. I could feel their eyes on us, like they were waiting for something to happen. I tried to pretend I didn’t notice.
“Why did you even pick this place?” he muttered under his breath, loud enough for everyone to hear. “It’s dead in here. You could’ve at least picked somewhere fun.”
I bit back a retort, trying to keep things civil. “I just thought it would be nice to hang out with everyone,” I replied, keeping my tone light.
He scoffed, shaking his head. "Yeah, well, next time, maybe actually pick something good."
I felt my cheeks flush, embarrassed and frustrated, but I forced a smile. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Kenan's expression darken as he watched the exchange.
“Maybe you should just leave if you’re so unhappy,” Kenan commented, trying to sound casual, but there was an edge to his voice. I looked at him, surprised by the boldness in his tone.
The guy glared at him. “No one’s talking to you, man. Mind your business.”
Kenan’s jaw clenched, but he didn’t say anything more, his gaze flickering back to me with concern. I felt a surge of something — gratitude, maybe — but pushed it down. I didn’t need anyone to fight my battles.
Still, his words left me feeling more flustered, more aware of the tension in the air. Trying to escape, I stood up. "I’m going to the bathroom," I announced, hoping to find a moment of peace.
I’d barely made it halfway down the hall when I felt a hand on my arm, pulling me into a quiet corner. I turned, startled to find Kenan standing there, his expression serious, eyes burning with intensity.
“Kenan, what the hell?” I asked, confused by his sudden urgency.
He didn’t let go, his grip tightening slightly. "Why are you with him?” he demanded, his voice low and angry.
I frowned, taken aback by the sudden confrontation. “What are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about that guy,” he snapped, glancing back toward the table. “He’s treating you like crap, and you’re just… letting him.”
“Kenan, it’s not that simple,” I protested, though his words hit closer to home than I wanted to admit.
“It is that simple,” he argued, stepping closer, his voice rising in frustration. “He doesn’t deserve you! He doesn’t even care about you; it’s like you’re some accessory to him, just someone to have around!”
My heart pounded in my chest, my emotions swirling. “Why do you even care, Kenan?” I shot back, my voice sharper than I intended. “Why are you so worked up?”
“Because I… because I care about you!” he exclaimed, his hands flying up in exasperation. “You deserve so much more than some guy who makes you feel like you’re not enough!”
“Then who deserves me, huh?” I challenged, my voice breaking. “No one?!”
Kenan’s expression changed, something snapping in his eyes. “Me!” he almost shouted. “I deserve you! I could treat you better than him—better than anyone!”
Before I could even process his words, he stepped forward, his hand slipping behind my neck, and he pulled me toward him.
His lips crashed against mine, urgent and desperate, his kiss filled with all the frustration, all the longing that had been building between us for so long.
I froze for a second, my mind going blank, then melted into the kiss, every inch of my body responding to him, to this. His fingers tightened against my neck, anchoring me to him as if he was afraid I might slip away.
When we finally broke apart, both of us were breathing hard. His forehead rested against mine, his eyes searching my face. “I’ve wanted this for so long,” he whispered, his voice raw and vulnerable. “I’ve been trying to hold back because… because I thought you’d reject me.”
“Kenan,” I murmured, my hands gripping his shirt, “I wanted you too, but I didn’t think you’d ever see me like that.”
His lips curved into a small, disbelieving smile. “Are you serious?” he asked, his voice trembling slightly. “I’ve been in love with you since forever.”
And just like that, the world around us seemed to fade, everything narrowing down to just this moment, just him. Maybe I’d been blind, or maybe I’d just been scared, but now I could see it so clearly.
I smiled back, my heart full. “Well, now that you’ve finally confessed, what are you going to do about it?” I teased, my voice light but my heart heavy with emotion.
He laughed, a sound filled with relief and happiness, and pulled me into another kiss. “Oh, I’ve got plenty of plans,” he murmured against my lips. “And they all start with you.”
93 notes
·
View notes
Text
All Shook Up! (An Austin Butler x Reader SMUT!)
WARNING: SMUT, LANGUAGE, minors dni
Notes: SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKA! I know I've been gone for a while but in all fairness this summer just sucked balls and I'm just now getting back in the proper headspace to write/post. Idk what I'll write next but I promise there will be more stories coming. Anywhore I'll shut up now. Enjoy!!
PS: This is technically a sequel to Chaos Monster & Her English Gent but I think it can be read on its own. Okay shutting up for real now.
Sometimes my heart can be the stupidest piece of shit ever. It’s been weeks since that day in Callum’s dressing room, and only days since filming wrapped for the season. Callum’s been blowing up my phone constantly and Austin was now home for the time being until he had to go film his next project.
The day my heart fucked me over was one of those miraculous days when both Austin and I had the day off. Austin was spending it reading a new script, while I was just doing my best to relax.
Hello darling.
I chuckled and answered back.
Hey.
Bored already?
No.
I’m just missing my special girl is all.
I rolled my eyes just as the next text came through.
Send me a pic?
Doesn’t necessarily have to be sexual.
I just wanna see your pretty face.
“What you laughin’ at Priscilla?” Austin asked distracting me from my phone. He was in the arm chair looking at me; his script laying on his lap.
“Nothin. Just your boy being a fucking idiot,” I semi-lied. Austin still didn’t know about Callum and me...and if I was being honest I wasn’t too sure about Callum and me either. I’ve been accused of being too hasty with other things before and a part of me feared I was being to hasty with this too. Needing immediate distraction I raised my phone (camera on) and aimed it at Austin. “Smile baby.”
Austin looked up from his script and smiled without questioning it. I took the photo and sent it to Callum. “Do I even want to know what you’re doin’ over there babe?”
“Callum asked for a pic, but as you can see I currently look like shit,” I motioned at my messy bun (didn’t exactly feel like brushing out my hair that day), make-upless face, and bespectacled eyes.
“Darlin’ I hate to break it to you but never since I have known you have you looked like shit,” Austin said. Just then another message came through.
Sexy but you know that’s not what
I meant.
“Why does he want a pic anyway?” Austin asked.
I shrugged. “I think he just misses our stupid faces.
“Mm… I think it might be more than that sweetheart,” Austin said tossing his script onto the coffee table. “I saw the way he kept lookin’ at you on set. He looked at you like you were the finest piece of meat this side of the Atlantic. Which ain’t totally off base if I say so myself.” I scoffed at the idea but Austin continued to look serious. “You’re the most beautiful girl I know. It’s a shame that you don’t see it because I see it very clearly.”
I sighed and tossed my phone onto the coffee table before getting up and darting towards Austin. I sat down on his lap and cuddled into him. Austin chuckled deeply and wrapped his arms around me. Austin always gives the best hugs. “We really need to have more days like this.”
“Like what?” Austin asked resting his cheek on my head.
“Like this. Just you and me...like we’re the only ones in the world. Like nothing else matters as long as we’re both here, together, for forever…” It was then I felt Austin’s lips pressed themselves on my forehead.
“You’re already my whole world Y/N,” he muttered.
“And you’re mine,” I whispered pressing my lips against his cheek. It was something I had done many times throughout our friendship but this time… it felt different. This time he trembled at my touch. “You okay?”
He nodded. “Just all shook up I guess.”
“You fuckin’ dork,” I laughed before he was suddenly pulling me in. His lips enveloped mine sending a tingle up my spine. I know I should’ve pulled away...told him about Callum and hoped for the best but… I don’t know. For some reason I just… I couldn’t stop. I didn’t want to stop.
But I guess something else wanted it to end.
Ding dong.
Austin pulled back and sighed. “That would be our UberEats.” He carried me back to the sofa and sat me down before going to answer the door. Normally Austin would gladly cook for us but we both agreed that on that day we were feeling exceptionally lazy.
We didn’t really say anything as we had our Thai dinner. Just snuck glances at each other every now and then. At one point I think it became a little too much for him to handle for he swiped the box of Mango Sticky Rice I had started to dig in to. “Give it back.”
“Hell nah, not until you get talkin’.” Austin said continuing to hold the rice hostage.
“I am talking,” I said. “Give. It. Back.”
“Or. What? Sugar.” He smirked pushing my final button. I dropped my chopsticks and pounced on him.
“Fucking give me the rice!” I snapped at him trying to reach for my rice which he now held above his head.
“Not until we talk about what happened earlier,” he said.
“God dammit Austin, it wasn’t rocket science, it should be obvious why we―.”
“Stop…”
“What? I thought you wanted me to…”
“No, I mean stop grindin’ on me,” he said making me realize that as I had been trying to get my rice back, I was simultaneous rubbing myself on his clothed crotch causing him to stiffen.
“Okay, needless to say that is your fault,” I said freezing on top of him.
“How the hell is that my fault?” he asked. “I didn’t ask you to grind on me.”
“No, but you stole my rice,” I pointed out before carefully standing up. “So… what now?”
“I don’t know. I mean, I know I want this, but I can’t decide for you,” he said before slowly standing up. “So until you know for sure if what you felt was as real as what I’ve been feelin’ every day since we met, I’m gonna have to handle this with a cold shower.”
He left the kitchen soon after leaving me be for a few minutes. I was suddenly not hungry for rice or anything on the table so after a moment I stood up and started towards my room needing to just collapse for a bit.
As I approached the door though, Austin left his room wearing nothing but a towel around his hips. “Oh, uh, sorry, I forgot my new body wash in the shopping bag.” He continued towards the bathroom and left his body wash on the counter before turning back to face me. “Is-uh-there something you wanna talk about?” He asked noticing my transfixed stare. He’d been spending his off time these last few months and his current off day to do a little extra working out for his new role and damn did it show. His abs were more defined, and his ass more perked and firm. “Y/N? You okay darlin’?”
“Uh-um-yeah,” I said. “I’m fine….I’m…” He approached me and placed his hand on my shoulder.
“You sure?” I was suddenly filled with a different, much stronger, hunger. It had me practically screaming inside while outside it only had me placing my hand on his chest. “Y/N?” I reached up and connected my lips with his. His body froze at my touch for only a moment before he wrapped his arms around me and kissed me back. He pressed me against the nearby wall and let his lips fall to my neck. As he kissed and suck on my flesh I reached down and yanked at his towel, making it fall to his feet. I wrapped my hand around his length and gasped at the feeling of his size. He wasn’t too long but girthy as holy fuck. I tugged on him gently earning a growl like sound in return. I chuckled.
“You really are all shook up aren’t you Elvis?”
“Oh fuck yeah I am Priscilla,” he said before placing his hands on my legs and picking me up. “Fuck yeah I am.” I wrapped my legs around him and let him carry me to my bed.
He laid us down and reached to pull off my shirt. He peppered kisses all over my body as he rid me of my lazy-day clothes. Once my panties were gone he placed my legs on his shoulders and brought his lips to my core. I moaned louder than I ever had, earning a chuckle from Austin before he continued to suck and lick me until I was nice and slick. “I wasn’t there yet you jerk,” I groaned as he climbed back up.
“Relax darlin’, I’m just getting started,” He smirked before reaching down and giving himself a tug before placing himself at my entrance. Just the feeling of it there made my body tremble. “Like it?” I nodded. “Want it inside you?” I nodded again. “Okay then…” He thrust his lips sliding the tip inside me.
“Holy fucking shit!” I hissed.
“So tight sugar,” he groaned pushing in further. Tears filled my eyes as he continued to stretch me. “I ain’t hurtin’ ya too bad am I?” I shook my head. “Good, I’ll try not to but feel free to hit me if I do.”
“Just fuck me already Aus,” I muttered. He leaned down and kissed me deeply before bottoming out and pulling back again. He kept his pace slow and gentle while I grew use to him. I pecked his lips and held him so our bodies were pressed together. As he continued moving inside me I snaked my hand down his back and squeezed his ass. I was right, it was pretty damn firm.
“God you drive wild,” Austin chuckled.
“How wild?” I asked.
“Want me to answer or would you rather I just―.” He thrust into me harder. “Show you.” He started moving his hips faster making my back arch.
“Oh fuck!” I screamed as he continued to thrust into me like his life depended on it. After a while he kissed me again and brought his lips to my ear.
“You wanna ride me?” I nodded eagerly. He wrapped his arms around me and flipped us over so that I was on top. I moved my hips rough and fast. It was like my whole being was just feral for him. “Holy shit you’re so fucking good at that.” Austin moaned thrusting up into me as I continued to ride him. As he did he brought his fingers to my clit and started rubbing me. That’s when the pressure began to build up inside me. “You gonna cum sugar?” I groaned and nodded. “That’s alright just come right on me. There you go baby.”
My whole body froze as a shiver ran down my spine. I was damn near screaming as I tightened around him, damn near squeezing the life out of his cock. I had just started coming down from my high, still partially blinded by the mind-blowing orgasm, when Austin wrapped his arms around me again and flipped us so I was on the bed once again.
“God you’re so fucking tight around me,” he groaned as he continued to thrust into me, only a little sloppier this time. “Gah fuck I’m gonna cum!” He moaned more and more as he started getting close. “Wuh-Where do you want it?”
“In...Inside...Inside me.” I said still breathless.
“You- You sure about that sugar?” He asked growing more and more spastic.
“Yes, god yes… fuck a baby into me Aus…” No sooner had I said that that I felt him twitch inside me. A rainbow of curses left his mouth as his body shuttered to a stop. He collapsed on top of me and gave me a final kiss on my now swollen lips.
“I fucking love you Y/N,” he said. “I love you more than words can say.”
I ran my fingers through his curls. “I love you too, Aus.”
He smiled and reached down to pull himself out of me. I hissed a bit when he did feeling a bit of a sting. “Sorry sugar.”
“It’s alright,” I assured him. He moved to lay down beside me and when he did I snuggled up to him. I fell asleep listening to the sound of his heart.
64 notes
·
View notes