#i’m a bitch for realism and this seems more in line with what we know of the characters than anything else? | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

kookoosbunnynose · 5 years ago

Text

Ch.1 || Ch.2

Pairing: Neighbor!Jungkook/FWB!Jungkook x Artist!Reader

Genre: Slowburn, Smut, Angst, Humor

Word Count: 11.4k

Summary: You’re an art student in need of a partner for your new collaboration piece, who is there to help you but your new neighbor, Jeon Jungkook. You two paint together but leave with much more than a colorful canvas.

A/N: Hello! I know! Dumb bitch finally updated the fic lmao. but i’m really excited about this part and even more excited for the rest of the fic. If you haven’t read chapter 1 yet go read it!

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Thankfully, even though you didn’t get to bed by the time you wanted last night, after the whole ‘y/n is a dumbass and got locked out’ debacle, you woke up with enough time to take it slow this morning. Mornings like these were your favorite, no rush. Just you sitting at your vanity getting ready for your day, jamming along to whatever song comes on your shuffle, using various items as a makeshift microphone.

You’re in the heat of Colors by Halsey when there’s a knock at your door, you abruptly cut off your poorly tuned melody, feeling caught. You quickly finish the eyebrow you’re working on as you don’t want the person at the door to see you with the one and a half you’re currently sporting. Good enough.

You rush to your front door, careful not to let your fluffy socks make you slip on the linoleum. When you open the door only to be greeted by your fluffy haired neighbor. He looks good in the morning too? Well that’s just fucking peachy. You’re making this difficult Jeon.

“Good morning.” You smile trying to hide how distraught you are.

“Good morning, sorry to bug you” he smiles sheepishly. “I was just hoping I could steal an egg from you? We’re out.” He asks hopeful.

“Oh, yeah of course. Just a second.” You turn on your heels to grab an egg from the kitchen. When your face is hidden by the fridge door you take a second to take a deep breath before making your way back to him. “Just one?” You ask when you hand it to him.

“Yeah one’s good, thank you y/n.” He gives you a small bow and opens his door. “See you later.”

---

“Hello gorgeous.” Yoongi says as your trio approaches the counter.

“Morning handsome.” Jimin smirks and steps in front of you.

“I was talking to y/n.”

“Her?” He looks over his shoulder at you. “While I’m here? That doesn’t sound right.” He scrunches his nose as if he’s doing mental math.

“I’ll just get your usual started.” He says leaning to the side so he can see your face.

“Thank you.” You laugh at them swipe your card and take the blueberry muffin he slides your way. You step to the side and wait for your boys to order their drinks.

“Remind me why we still come here.” Joon asks the two of you as you make your way to the pick-up end of the counter.

“Because we’ve been doing it since we started uni. We’re old and stuck in our ways, Joonie. There’s no backing out now.” You reply woefully.

“What are we? Boomers? We can go to a different coffee shop.” Namjoon furrows his brows.

“Order for Sweets!” A now familiar boxy smiled boy behind the counter says.

“Oh no we can’t. Not anymore.” Jimin says his attention caught by Tae.

“Look who wants to fuck the neighbors now!” You whisper yell at them before stepping toward the counter.

“Ha! You admit it!- Wait, neighbor?” You hear Jimin behind you.

“Hi Tae! Thank you.”

“Hello y/n!” He smiles and leans in to make his voice hushed. “If you don’t mind me asking, are you and Yoongi a thing? He covers like half your bill and calls you pet names everyday.” He lists off the, admittedly odd, circumstances of your relationship.

“Oh, no we’re not. We just flirt back and forth. I think if he had any real intention behind it he would’ve asked me out by now, in my experience he’s pretty straight forward.” You chuckle.

“Ah okay. Would you want him to ask you out?”

“I did in the beginning but it’s been well over a year. As far as he goes, I’m sated with just the flirting.”

“Ah, I see.” He turns away to grab the next two cups. “Orders for Jimin and Namjoon!” He calls over.

“Why do you ask?”

He pauses for a second. “I was just curious, he’s kinda like that with a couple girls but you seem to be his favorite.”

“Well it’s been a while, seniority I guess.” You shrug and your counterparts join you at the counter. “Oh how rude of me, these are my roommates. This is Taehyung.”

“Ah, nice to meet you, I’ll probably be seeing you guys a lot. I’m across the hall pretty often.” You all chuckle. “I wish I could talk longer but I don’t want to hold up the line, see you!” He smiles.

The three of you give various forms of a goodbye as you leave to find your usual table.

“Okay, is no one gonna say it?” Jimin says once you’re seated and safely out of ear shot.

“Say what?” Namjoon asks scrunching his face at his hot coffee.

“What do you mean ‘say what?’” Jimin says blinking slowly at your brother. “What is in those boys’ cheerios?”

“Fiber?”

“No! You fucking tree!”

“Y/n really? Now he’s calling me that, too?” You shrug.

---

You take a breath in as you walk into the art studio, the smell of paint and pencil lead tickling your nose. You take your usual seat at a large table and check your phone for your list of assignments. The professor sends you a large list of all the assignments at the beginning of the semester. Giving students the freedom to choose what order they do them in, the only stipulation is that you must have half turned in by midterms and the other half by the end of the semester. A much more doable lesson plan than a lot of your past professors. Being forced to be creative is draining and doesn’t get you far.

You scan down the list of possibilities until you find one that catches your eye. Monochromatic self portrait (any color)? No. Pretend you have synesthesia and illustrate your favorite song? Eh, not today. Collaboration piece? Ugh, I can’t even if I wanted to. I need to find someone to work with. Create 5 random custom colors and paint a landscape using only those colors (5”x5”)? Sounds like I could get that done before I leave. Perfect.

You pop in your earbuds and get to work. Deciding acrylic would be best for a quick painting, you grab a pallet and a sizable glob of each of the primary colors along with black and white. A little red here, a little yellow there, and some white for this one. You continue putting in different combinations until you have five colors you’re happy with not worrying if they’ll make sense for scenery. Fuck it. Who says trees can’t be purple?

As you dip your brush into your small selection of paints and watch the way the colors glide onto the canvas, it makes a sense of ease wash over you. Breathing life into a piece no matter how simple creates a new little reality in it’s own right. Expands our universe one brush stroke at a time. In the least cringy art kid way possible, of course.

You continue your work, mouthing along to your music as you go. Rust tinted grass and a peachy sky coming together in a way that definitely isn’t realism but ends up having a sunset feel due to the warm hues you chose. Just a few touch ups here and there and you’re done.

You pack up your things and head home with your new little creation to dry completely overnight. It’s already mostly dry but the textured parts still have a way to go.

---

“I really need to go grocery shopping. Thank you again, y/n.” Bunny teeth shining as he leaves your apartment with a mug of tea in place of the hot water he showed up with.

Today is day… eight? Of a new routine has developed over the course of the week. Everyday without fail, whether it be morning or evening, an egg or a cup of milk. Jungkook comes over and asks for a small food item, thanks you, and returns home. No big deal, but it’s apparent that those idiots really need to restock their fridge. It’s like having a stray cat that comes around every night after you feed it once. A really big stray cat… with pretty hair, and a cute lip mole, that always smells like fresh laundry and citrus… anyway-

Time to officially start the day and pretend that little mental tangent didn’t just happen. Go team!

You finish doing some light makeup and throw on some ripped mom jeans and a black hoodie. Enough effort to look like you care, but still comfy. You throw your bag over your shoulder, slip your boots on and head out the door.

Finding parking on campus at this time of day is a nightmare and usually takes longer than just walking since you live just off school grounds. So you make your short walk and stop by the cafe by yourself. You usually go alone only once a week; there’s only one day where you’re the only one of your roomies to have a morning class.

You order, give Tae his morning hello and make your way to class.

Classes pass with relative ease. You listen and take notes; taking notes more so meaning doodling along the margins of your notebook than anything else. Really putting those scholarships to good use.

Art history, meeting with the theater department about painting props, studio, home.

You enter your apartment and are met with Jimin and Namjoon sitting on the couch about to start the obligatory bi-monthy screening of Your Name.

“Hey! Were you gonna start the movie without me?” You kick off your shoes and take a running leap onto your spot on the couch.

“No! We were waiting for you, we’re not monsters.” Namjoon retorts in defense.

“That’s exactly what someone who wasn’t waiting for me would say.” You narrow your eyes at your little brother at the other end of the couch.

“Would you two stop bickering for two seconds. It’s starting.” Jimin puts a hand over both your mouths from his spot between you.

“Sheesh, grumpy pants.” You grumble when he lowers his arms.

The movie is filled with the same sobs and ‘awe’s that it always is, always ending in tears for at least one of you. Breathtaking animation coupled with a heart wrenching story, no matter how many times you watch it, it never fails to amaze. As much as you would’ve loved more closure at the end of the movie, the ambiguous ending couldn’t be more poetic.

“Joonie, what would you do if we switched bodies?” You turn to your brother as the credits roll.

“Probably get a discounted coffee.” He deadpans.

“Oh, you’re no fun!”

“More money in my bank account sounds very fun.”

Your retort cut off by a knock at the door from your neighbor for his daily snack, so you settle for throwing the pillow sitting in your lap in his direction as you stand. Which he tries to swat away only to end up with a faceful of cushion. Ha, get got bitch.

“Do you need an egg?” You say as you open the door.

“Uh- No I’m good? Thank you for asking.” Tae chuckles, you freeze your eyes widening.

“Oh my god, I thought you were Jungkook.” You let out a stiff laugh and shuffle your feet in embarrassment. “Anyway, what brings you all this way?” You joke, attempting to alleviate a bit of the blush on your cheeks.

“I just wanted to see if you’d wanna chill with us tonight? We had a lot of fun last time. Nothing special, but I wanted to see if you were up for it.” He smiles. “You guys are more than welcome to join too if you’d like!” He shouts over your shoulder at the boys sitting on the couch when he notices them sitting there.

“Nah we’re good Jimin and I have a test in the morning, and if I don’t force him to study with me he’ll fail.” Namjoon says from the couch

“I would not!” Jimin turns to him offended.

“Okay, I’ll study alone then.”

“No, please help me.” He deflates.

“See.” Joon smirks. “Thank you for the offer though!” He calls over to Tae.

“No problem, next time?”

“Next time.” He echoes.

“I’ll hold you to it.” He points a slender finger in your brother’s direction. “What about you, y/n? Are you down?” He directs his attention back to you.

“Right now?”

“If that works for you, Kook will be back from work shortly, it’ll just be Hobi and I for a little bit.”

“Yeah, sounds good to me.” You smile. “Just let me go grab a couple things real quick and then I’m good to go!”

You scurry to your bedroom and take a look at yourself in the mirror, evaluating the damage the day has done to your makeup. Not bad. You give the apples of your cheeks a quick squeeze to bring back a little color, scramble to find your tinted lip balm, and fluff up your hair a little. There we go. Cute. Now to find something to bring with me so this little panicked face check isn’t a complete lie. Phone charger is good.

With your phone charger in hand and a revived complexion you head back out.

“Thanks for waiting.” Tae gives you a nod and you smile while you give your boys a wave as you walk out the door.

You walk into the boys apartment and are immediately greeted by a wagging Bread who you kneel to give a plethora of loves, giggling when he hops up and tries to kiss your face.

“Hey y/n!”

“Hey Hobi!” You say as you follow Tae over to the couch with Bread right on your heels.

“Glad you decided to join us. Kook will be here soon, he left work not long ago.”

“I gave her the run down before we came over.” Tae smiles.

“How have classes and shit been?” You ask them

“Not ideal. I pulled a muscle in my leg.” Hobi rubs his calf. “With a big performance coming up on friday, but the show must go on, you know.” He shrugs.

“Oh shit dude, will you be okay?”

“He does this at least once a semester.” Tae says waving it off, used to his friend pushing through his injuries.

“Yeah, it sucks for a bit but I’ll have some wiggle room to rest after this test.” He reassures.

“Okay good, just don’t die.” You chuckle.

“I’ll try not to.” He laughs.

“I’ve been doing a few surveys for my psych classes, would you mind if I get some data from you?” Tae looks to you, taking full advantage of the small lull in conversation.

“Tae no.” Hobi’s face falls and he rubs his temples.

“Do you find Chuck E. Cheese fuckable?” He asks, a genuine question mark in his eyes.

You blink. “What the hell kind of psych classes are you taking?”

“Just answer the question, y/n.”

You look at Hobi for some sort of answer, though you’re not even sure what your question is. “You’re gonna have to just answer him, he’s been on about it all day.”

“Fucking of course not. Why on earth would I want to fuck a rat? And even if I did, why would I want to fuck a robotic rat roughly the size of an entire kindergarden class?”

“First of all, he’s a mouse.” Tae corrects. “Second of all, THANK YOU!” He throws his arms up and flops against the back of the couch. “One kid in my class started this somehow and the room was surprising split. About forty percent of the people in that room said ‘Charles Entertainment Cheese’ was sexy! It got pretty heated, people were yelling that the opposing side that we ‘just couldn't handle his raw sexual power.’” He says exasperated with overdone air quotes. “So I’ve been asking everyone all day because I just can’t stop thinking about it.”

“I suppose I can see how that would plague your mind.” You laugh.

“Anyway!” Hobi interjects, clearly tired of the subject. “How are your things going, y/n?”

You chuckle at his wide eyes. “They’ve been good. I’ve been spending more time in the studio with midterms coming up. But I need to find someone to work with me on a collab piece. I wanna have it in by midterms so I don’t have to worry about it during finals.” you sigh at the thought.

“Awh, I would help with that but I already did that assignment and I’m not sure if they’d let me do it again with someone else?” Tae says with a small frown.

“I’d offer but the only thing I am versed in is drawing stick figures and arguably anatomically incorrect dicks.” Hobi chuckles.

“Thanks you guys.” You smile. “It’s alright though, I might just ask Jimin to get drunk and throw some paint at a canvas with me.”

“Hey! This reminds me, a couple days ago when you got coffee you promised you’d show me some of your work when we hung out next.” Tae looks at you sternly, arms tight across his chest. “The time has come Miss y/n.”

“Ah, I suppose I did.” You say as you grab your phone to show him your album of a bunch of your work. “Okay, but I’m no Van Gogh. Go easy on me.” You warn before you hand over your device to him; you always get a little nervous when you show people your art for the first time.

“Hey hey! None of that nonsense! If the way you talk about art is any consolation, then I’m sure the passion alone is enough to make it beautiful.” Tae gives you a stern look followed by a reassuring smile.

“Do you want me to cry? Because this is how you make me cry.” You chuckle and relent your collection of work over to him for them to inspect.

They open the first photo and you’re met with a mixture of a ‘holy shit’ from Hobi and a ‘wow’ from Tae, their reactions make you smile and your face heat up.

“These are amazing y/n!” Hobi says as Tae swipes through.

“Thank you guys so much, really.” You say blushing and all but clutching your chest.

You watch their faces intently as they go through, Tae stopping every so often to zoom in and inspect a certain brushstroke that catches his eye. They get toward the end of the photoset when you hear a key in the front door. You’re the only one to turn your head to see Jungkook walk into the apartment. He sets his keys down on the table next to the entrance and his feet stutter a little when he sees you on the couch with his friends.

“Hey Kook! Y/n was just showing us some of her art, dude she’s so talented!” Hobi calls over his shoulder.

“It’s really good, you should come take a look.” Tae adds, and you laugh nervously.

“That’s so awesome, I will.” He says looking at you with a smile. “I just need to talk to Tae, for a quick second.” He says turning his gaze toward him and tilting his head toward the hall.

“Oh, is it about that thing?” Tae grits his teeth and sucks in sharp breath.

“Yes, exactly, the thing.” He confirms vaguely, looking relieved.

“Is everything okay?” You furrow your brows and look at each of them.

“He just has a rash, no worries.” Tae tells you in a hushed tone as he stands up. All you can do is blink in response. Jungkook lets out an exaggerated laugh as they disappear into the dark hallway and out of sight.

Once they are safely in the other room Jungkook flicks Tae in the forehead.

“Ow!” Tae gasps.

“What the fuck was that for?!” Jungkook whisper yells at his idiot of a best friend.

“I was covering for you!”

“You could’ve said literally anything else! I don’t even have a rash!”

“She doesn’t know that!”

“Exactly, you fuck!” Jungkook whispers flicking him again. “Why is she here?! You didn’t warn me!”

“This is what I get for trying to help you?” Tae says rubbing his forehead with a pout.

“Hey! I was handling it just fine on my own!”

“Oh yeah, your plan to slowly raid the entire contents of her fridge was going so great!”

“I just thought!... I thought we would eventually talk or... something?” Jungkook says realizing maybe it wasn’t the best plan in the world. “That’s how my parents used to get to know our neighbors, they’d borrow each others sugar and shit.”

“It’d be easier to talk to her if you just hung out with her and I invited her over for you. You’re welcome! And your parents weren’t trying to fuck your neighbors, were they! Different goal calls for different strategy.”

“Dude gross, I hope not.” Jungkook scrunches his nose. “And I don’t… just wanna fuck her.”

“Aww, does Googie have a bigger crush than we thought he did.” Tae teases pinching his cheek.

“Fuck you. But thanks I guess… just warn me next time, will you?” Jungkook relents.

“You got it.” Tae says patting him on the shoulder. “I’m only kinda sorry though!” He whispers as he slips out the door. Jungkook follows him to join all of you in the living room.

“Sorry about that.” Jungkook smiles at you as he and Tae take their places next to you on the couch.

“No worries.” You assure.

“Kook you should take a look at her work, I think you’d like it.” Hobi says passing your phone over to him and your face heats up a little. “I was just telling y/n how you were really artsy in high school.”

“Oh, it was nothing.” Jungkook waves him off as he starts to look through the photos and stopping a little longer on ones that catch his eye.

“It wasn’t nothing.” Tae interjects. “Actually y/n, you mentioned needing a partner for that collab piece? Since I can’t assist, I’m sure Jungkook could help you out.” Tae gestures to the two of you.

“Oh no, I couldn’t ask him to do that for me.” You shake your head, looking at both their faces.

Jungkook tilts his head to the side for a second. “I wouldn’t mind at all, it would be fun. I might be a little rusty though.” He says with worried eyes.

“Really? you wouldn’t mind?” You light up. “That would help me out a ton. I’ve been stressing over that piece for weeks.”

“I’d be happy to.” He smiles bright. “I’m off on Saturday, we could work on it then. If that works for you, of course.”

“You’ve got yourself a deal.” You reach out to shake his hand, effectively sealing the deal. “Thank you so much.” you say and squeeze his hand a little.

“So Kook, I’m collecting data for my psych class-” Tae takes this opportunity to stain your moment of gratitude.

“I already told you, I’m not fuckin’ rats!” Jungkook cuts him off.

“He’s not a rat!”

“Which side are you on?!”

---

“Did I call it? Or did I call it?” Jin looks at you with his stupid smug ass face.

“Listen! It’s nothing!” You throw that damp rag you’re wiping down a table with in his direction.

“It’s not nothing! I can smell your pent up sexual frustration for him from here. You guys are gonna be alone for several hours making art together? What is he, Swayze?”

“Men and women can be platonic friends! You’re not thinking very progressively here, old man.”

“Of course, men and women can be platonic friends.” He says gesturing at the air between you. “But you and what’s his fuck, Junglebook, you said? You two, cannot.”

“Your lack of faith in me is astounding.”

“I wouldn’t call it a lack of faith in you, more of an educated assumption… And a lack of faith in both of you.” He smirks. Asshole.

“Fuck you.” You deadpan.

“You know you love me y/nie.” He blows you a kiss.

“You’re lucky I do.”

---

You: I can bring the supplies over whenever you’re ready, just lemme know! Thank you for letting me come over there, it would be hard for creative juices flowing with Joon hovering over us all night. Trying to figure out a deep psychological reason for me painting a flower yellow lmao

You: Oh! And wear clothes you don’t mind getting paint on, stains are inevitable :)

And send.

Okay listen to me you dumb bitch. You can do this. We got this. For fuck sake why are you so nervous? Pull yourself together! Just enough to prove Jin and Jimin wrong. Do it just to rub it in their faces! Fuck. What are you 12? We can hang out alone with him. This is stupid. I’m stupid. It’s fine. Everything is fine! Shut up.

Tight Buns McCute-Dog: You can come over now, I’m just gonna change real quick, the door is unlocked! (:

After receiving that reply, instead of him just cancelling, you were relieved he was still willing to help you. However it didn’t help the whole sweating from your ass cheeks with nerves, thing. So overall about the same. Great.

Doing an abstract painting in these mental conditions will result in accidentally painting several phallic shapes. A Freudian Slip of the wrist if you will.

After a couple deep breaths, effectively shoving half your feelings deep into the crevices of your mind, and changing his contact name, just for good measure. You grab all the supplies you’ll need and walk across the hall.

You struggle to open your door while balancing your small box of acrylics, easel and canvas in your arms. Deciding to abandon your easel in the hall for a second while you knock on your neighbor’s door a couple times before you turn the knob.

Bread is already eager and yipping at you for attention while you attempt to bring everything in and set it up to the side of the living room adjacent to the kitchen.

---

Jungkook opens your texts and mouths a small ‘oh shit’ not wanting to keep you waiting, but quickly regretting his decision to work out right before he saw you. He wanted to look a little extra muscley but didn’t consider that he’d be a sweaty mess after doing so.

He settles for telling you he’s changing and hopes you take a few minutes to gather your things so he can blow dry his hair a little.

Your presence in his apartment is made known when he hears his dog barking and scuttling around. He gives his hair a quick tousel, throws on one of his many black hoodies and a little spritz of cologne.

Jungkook emerges from his bedroom to find you fumbling with your easel. Cute.

“Do you need help?” he asks through a giggle.

“Nope! Got everything a hundred percent under control over here.” Your sentence punctuated by your canvas falling to the floor. “Shit.”

“Allow me.” he says handing you the canvas.

“Thank you.” you breath and run a hand through your hair.

“So what’s the plan? I hope you’re not expecting any Sistine Chapel level work from me.” he chuckles.

“A bunch of naked babies and a priest with the ears of an ass? I appreciate that you don’t bring that to the table.” you raise your brows.

“Point taken.”

“The plan is no plan. I mean I wanted to go for something abstract because it’s fun and doesn’t require a lot of brain power. Just put the brush where you think it should go.” you mime a couple brush strokes in the air.

“Sounds easy enough, paint from the heart.” he confirms, patting his chest for emphasis.

“Oh, I did think one of us could be in charge of warm colors and tints, and the other could do cool colors and shades, and see where that takes us.” you look up expectantly, hoping he likes your almost-plan.

“Sounds interesting.” He looks at the empty canvas, eyes scanning for possibilities. “Which do you want?”

“I’m partial to cool colors, myself.”

“Then today, I’m partial to warm.” he smirks. “So are we just feeling what we feel in the moment or is there an emotion we’re trying to convey?” He turns to you, eyes expectant.

You pause for a second, unsure if you should abandon the theme you were pondering for this piece before you knew Jungkook would be your partner in creation. “Is it too cliche if the theme was ‘love’?” You ask him hesitantly. Immediately regretting not just saying ‘nah man, just throw paint at that bitch.’

But much to your surprise.

“Not at all, it’s a ‘cliche’ for a reason.” He states nonchalantly. “Love is powerful. Whether it’s the painful bit or the part that makes you feel untouchable.”

A certain fondness hits his eyes that tells you he’s speaking from experience but you don’t pry.

“I’m glad you like the idea.” you smile, relief filling you after he doesn’t exhibit any signs of being uncomfortable.

He claps his large palms together. “Shall we get started, Miss y/n?” His gaze once directed at the blank canvas, now fully on you.

“Choose your weapon, Mr. Jungkook.” You feign a serious tone, giving him a small handful of various brushes. Keeping a few of your favorites for yourself.

You push your box paints toward him indicating he can grab what he likes. Normally you’re a bit protective over your art supplies, seeing as not only are they stupid expensive, but you care for your tools a lot. You wouldn’t let your klutzy brother within a ten foot radius of your things when you were growing up and even now your blood boils if he’s anywhere near your expertly sorted colored pencils. But Jungkook is always gentle and seeing the way he meticulously places small globs of white, reds, and yellows onto his palette, you know you’ve made a good choice in trusting him.

He steps slightly back letting you put the first ceremonial brush stroke of charcoal black diagonally across the upper most half of your canvas. He joins shortly after deciding to start with white in contrast with your black, laying down some bases for shapes and choosing to run his brush through to disturb the various lines you’ve made, dragging the two tones into a fading grey.

As your mind wanders towards the way his slender tattooed fingers wrap delicately around the paint brush you quickly come to the conclusion that it’s time to play some background music. Absentmindedly sticking the handle of the brush between your teeth to grab your phone and open your music library.

“What kind of music do you like?” You turn to him, the thin strip of wood in your mouth giving you a slight lisp.

“I’m not picky, play whatever you want.” he says warmly but his brow still furrowed with concentration while he finishes up his base layer.

As his answer didn’t do much in the way of helping your quest, you opted for the safety of one of those throwback playlists spotify procures for their listeners, the 90’s one to be exact. Everybody loves some good nostalgia, and it may aid in the sincerity of your painting. Past emotions and whatnot.

The first song that comes on after you hit shuffle is Heart-Shaped Box by Nirvana and you hum in content. Jungkook on the other hand is pleasantly taken aback by your song choice.

“Oh shit yeah! I love Nirvana!” He smiles brightly, taking his crinkling eyes off his work for the first time since you started.

“Everybody loves Nirvana.” you tease him and roll your eyes at the possibility of him being one of those frat boys that ‘misses Kurt Cobain so much’ but can only name Smells Like Teen Spirit and maybe Aneurysm if you’re lucky.

Jungkook, sensing your tone, smirks and runs his tongue along the inside of his cheek. “You think so, huh?” he bemuses, rolling up his sleeve to uncover this inked skin. Across his forearm is a quote reading ‘rather be dead than cool,�� a lyric from their song Stay Away. He watches you with a quirked brow.

“I stand corrected.” you hold your hands up in defense. Trying not to let the way his inked skin hugs his veins increases your heart rate become too apparent on your features. “You do indeed love Nirvana.” your emphasis on the word being placed differently this time.

“Never doubt me again y/n.” He eyes you suspiciously. “I’ll get more tattoos just to spite you.” He narrows his eyes to add validity to his semi-empty threat.

“I will never doubt you again, scouts honor.” you say playfully saluting him.

“Now start the song over. Your lack of faith in me, made me miss half the song.” he points a finger at your phone.

“I can’t, I don’t have premium.” you let out a heavy sigh.

“What?! That’s dumb. You suffer through those god awful ads?” He screws his face up in disgust.

“Eh, I don’t mind too much.” You shrug. “I don’t wanna spend the extra money every month.”

“Okay, I guess that’s fair.” He squints at you as you pick up your brush again. “Why don’t you just use my account? I’ll text you my login.” He says fishing for his phone in his pocket.

“That’s completely unnecessary.” You laugh, and wave for him to stop. “You’re already helping me out so much with this.” you gesture to the now less blank canvas in front of you.

“I really don’t mind. What’s the worst that could happen? We expand our music libraries? Oh no!” he pretends to gasp and you roll your eyes. “And besides, I’ll sleep better at night knowing I saved a soul from those creepy ass vitamin water commercials.” He chuckles.

“You really don’t have to.” Your eyes softening at his seemingly endless stream of kindness.

“Already sent you the login, too late.” he says, sucking in a breath as if to say ‘what a shame.’

“Thank you, Jungkook.” you say as you gently grab his forearm and run your thumb over it.

“You’re welcome.” He smiles. “Back to work now!” he declares, sticking his paint brush, that at some point in your conversation tucked it’s way behind his ear, into his small mountain of yellow.

You work like this together for a while. Humming along to your music, that is now playing off Jungkook’s phone after he insisted he didn’t wanna hear ‘Colonel Suck-My-Ass’ sing about his chicken deals one more time. The two of you working together seamlessly; the way you blend your colors and make textures complimenting each other nicely. Switching sides of the canvas every so often so it remains balanced.

After about an hour of being immersed in your work Jungkook turns to you. “Noodle break?” He asks you frowning at his empty tummy.

Your brush stutters on the canvas at his words, your stomach not realizing it’s been hours since you’ve eaten until he mentions food. “That sounds wonderful, actually.”

“One or two packets?” he asks making his way into the kitchen.

“Just one is good.” you smile, setting your brush into your cup of water. You follow him into the kitchen. “Where do you store your liquid?” you ask standing between the pantry and the fridge, looking lost.

“Fridge.” he answers giving his approval to let you grab the two of you some drinks.

“I see you guys finally went grocery shopping.” you chuckle at the butter and cartons of eggs in his fridge.

“What?- oh right, yeah. Finally dragged Hobi out earlier today.” His smile not quite meeting his eyes while he opens up three packets of ramen, and waits for the water to boil.

“Can I steal a soda?”

“Yeah, just not the sprite. Hobi can and will throw a fit.” his tone far more serious than the situation calls for.

“Well damn, okay.” you say and grab a coke for both of you.

“Thank you.” He smiles and your fingertips brush perhaps a little too long when you hand him his drink.

He pulls the tab, puts the cold metal to his lips and you watch the way his throat bobs up and down with every swig. When you feel yourself staring your ears heat up, and turn your gaze to the water starting to roll in the pot.

As Jungkook is finishing up cooking the ramen, the song changes to Iris by The Goo Goo Dolls, you let out a small gasp and start to sing along. He smiles at your apparent love for the song and starts to harmonize with you to encourage you to keep going. Which, much to his dismay, did the exact opposite.

“Jeon Jungkook!” you scold. “I didn’t know you had such a beautiful voice!”

“It’s alright, I guess.” He breathes out and rubs the back of his neck a little embarrassed. “You’re not too bad yourself.” He looks at you with those big doe eyes. And you swear you’ll only look at them for a couple more seconds, as not to fall under their spell. A half hearted oath at best.

But you start to sing again, you tell yourself it’s to make the most of the song while it’s on but really, you just want to hear honeyed voice hit your ears again. And it does, eyes closed tightly and mouth wide to control his sound. You can’t hold a tune to save your life but the way he carries your sounds with his, it doesn’t matter. Your song is beautiful.

After your musical interruption, you take your bowls to the table and slurp away at your noodles. All the while Bread is at your heels begging ever so sweetly, which Jungkook scolds but ultimately ends up throwing him a noodle when his bowl is just about gone.

You take your bowl to the sink but when you start rinsing Jungkook comes over to push you out of the way so he can take care of it himself. You stand your ground for a minute but lose the silent argument due to his advantage of stature. You mutter a small ‘fuck you’ before you return to the canvas, and he smiles contently to himself.

Jungkook joins you back at your station, stepping back for a moment to assess where the two of you left off and what he’d like to add. He lets his eyes run over the varying sized lines and the way they come together but also fight one another in some spots. Some colors as bright as the sun and others look like the depths of the ocean. All coming together in a way that only really makes sense to the two of you.

You finished what was left of your drink and picked up your brush, dipping straight into your black paint for the second time since you started like you were on a mission. You drew a fluid line near the center curving over a few existing splotches, near the end of your brush stroke it became jagged and split off into several directions. A pessimist would call it a shatter, an optimist would call it several opportune paths, and a realist would probably just call it a painting. But Jungkook did none of those things.

“Y/n, have you ever been in love?” He asked as if he had only asked what time it was. He started swirling some colors together while he waited for an answer.

You blinked, trying not to show how much that question shocked you. “I suppose…” you breathed, actually struggling to come up with a real answer. “I mean, last time I was in a serious relationship was in highschool.” You trailed off. “I don’t know if I can say I’ve been in love but I’ve loved someone before… I feel like being in love sticks with you in a different way. More of a life experience than a life lesson.” You scrunched up your face a little, hoping he’d be satisfied with your answer even though you yourself weren’t.

He nodded, taking in your words. “I think being in love can be just as much a life lesson as ‘lesser relationships,’ if not more so.” He adds putting air quotes as not to come across the wrong way. “But hopefully you end up with more positive lessons than not.”

“Yeah, you’re right. Like learning how you love and need to be loved. What you deserve and what you won’t put up with. Learn to let yourself be loved-” You stop your word vomit after that last comment, feeling a bit vulnerable. “Those kinds of things?” you let out a little laugh.

“Exactly.”

“Is it fair to assume that you have?” You question, hesitating slightly.

“That I have what?”

“Been in love, dummy.” You laugh, strategically placing a light green around the canvas.

He pauses slightly. “Yeah, I have.” The same fondness that found his eyes earlier that day sets in again. Not in a painful or bitter way, you noted. But in the way you’d regard your favorite childhood memory.

“I didn’t rub salt in a wound, did I?” you tensed slightly incase you read him wrong.

“No no, you’re fine!” He reassures. “It was a long time ago. Don’t get me wrong, it hurt like a bitch in the moment, but as they say, time heals all wounds.” he shrugs.

“Can I ask what happened?” You prompted, feeling a little braver this time.

“Well you know, same old story with high school sweethearts.” He paused to fix a spot he didn’t like. “She was a year older than me. She left for university. We tried long distance and after a few months we decided it was too hard. Nothing particularly spectacular.” He tells the story, for what you can tell is at least the thousandth time. “What about you and Mr. Not-Quite-In-Love?”

“Nothing, super special either. Unfortunately, the lessons I learned from him were less than positive. After the initial honeymoon phase, he didn’t treat me the best. Looking back I learned to know the level of respect I deserve, but in the moment his lack of just made me desperate to ‘earn’ it. It was a vicious cycle for about a year but things ended and I grew up. And like you said, ‘time heals all wounds.’” Jungkook looked at you with furrowed brows, not sure if he wants to hug you or the seventeen year old girl you used to be who would see herself as anything less than what she was. But he settled for the former.

He wrapped his arms around you, taking you by surprise. But you accept his embrace and smile against his shoulder. “I’m okay now Jungkook.” You giggle. “It was a long time ago and I learned from it.”

He pulls away. “I know, I’m just sorry it took that dickbag for you to know your worth.” he gives you a sheepish smile, and a fire in his eyes dulls when he looks at you.

“Thank you, you’re very sweet.” you pat his arm before you both turn back to your respective parts of the canvas.

“Hey, just cause I’m not a complete asshole, doesn’t mean I’m sweet.”

“I’m holding firm at you’re sweet, and you can’t change my mind.” You both laugh and return your full attention back to your work.

Your rhythm returns to where it was before you ate. Both of you humming along to whatever song is playing at the moment, using your paint brushes as microphones if a particularly good song came on. Exchanging a few words here and there. Each admiring the small things the other chooses to add to the work of art. You noticed Jungkook has a habit of biting his lips when he’s concentrating. Cute.

Now here you finally are after another hour of blending, layering, and tweaking. Both of you put down your brushes down and stepped back slightly to admire what you’ve created. Letting out a sigh at your hard work, taking in the finalized piece. The way the colors run together or bump into one another. The juxtaposition of fluid lines being interrupted by jagged edges. The way the soberness of the colors you put down calm and soothe the firey and vibrant ones he laid down for you.

Ordinarily, when you finish a painting, you never quite feel done. There’s always one more thing you could fix, one more stroke you could add. But not this time. It’s finished. Breathtaking in a simple way. You’ve never felt such a sense of completeness when you set your brush down, and you can’t help but feel you have Jungkook to thank for it. The way his colors and brush work complemented yours was… for lack of a better term, a work of art.

---

Jungkook puts down his brush, watching you lay down your final touches. Truth be told he’d been watching you out of the corner of his eye the entire time. Checking in on you every so often when you’d put down your tool and furrow your brows in concentration. Smiling when you’d absentmindedly mumble to yourself about what you’re doing. He was in awe of how much of yourself you put down on the canvas, not entirely sure what wordless stories you were telling meant. Though that didn’t stop him from taking the puzzle pieces you laid down and arranging them into a y/n shaped jigsaw in his mind. Perhaps your fondness of calming colors was to tame the wild fire he could see within you.

And just as quickly as you’d started, you were done, setting your brush down and smiling at what you saw in front of you.

“Thank you so much, Jungkook.” You breathe still taking in the painting. “It’s beautiful.”

“Yeah, it is.” He says just above a whisper, never taking his eyes off your beaming profile.

“Hm?” You turn to him. He looks into your eyes, once filled with fire are now a calm ocean. His gaze shifts to your lips after they form a confused pout at his silence, his body leading his brain when he leans toward you.

It’s now or never.

He leans in further looking into your eyes for any sign of apprehension before he cups your jaw in his paint stained hand. Finally taking the leap all at once when you lean into his touch.

His lips are even softer than you imagined when they meld against yours. He pulls away slightly to look at you a question mark across his features. You put your hands flush against his hard chest and answer his question by reconnecting your lips with his with fervor and you feel him smile against you. He deepens the kiss, putting his free hand on your hip to pull you closer to his warm body.

He swipes his tongue along your bottom lip, testing the waters further. You mirror his action, noting that his lips taste faintly of strawberries. You slide your hands into his soft hair and curl your fingers into fists against his scalp making him groan into your mouth.

His hand that held its feather like touch against your face leaves it’s place to join his other around your waist. His hands squeezing harshly at your hips, his fingers digging into the strip of skin your shirt rode up to expose, making you shiver against him despite your rising temperature.

He pulls away to place sloppy kisses along your jaw, nudging your jaw with his nose gently to gain access to your neck. You suck in a breath when you pull him closer causing his teeth to graze your pulse point as his swollen lips leave rosey marks in their wake. He sucks harshly at the soft spot below your ear causing your nerves to flare and a moan to escape your lips. He groans in satisfaction at the way his actions affect you, running his hot tongue over your skin to soothe the marks he made.

His hands move higher on your abdomen slipping just under the hem of your shirt, making you tense slightly under his calloused palms, he feels your shift and rubs his thumbs below your ribcage to relax your tensed muscles. His gentle fingers vastly opposing his flushed cheeks when he brings his face up to yours again, his hair already messy and his eyes dazed as he looks at your lips like they’re the first glass of water he’s seen in days. He crashes his lips back into yours hungrily causing you to squeak at his desperation. You disconnect your lips leaving almost no distance between you.

“Bedroom?” you ask lowley against his lips, your vocal chords betraying you making the word come out far more shaky and less sexy than you wanted. His shoulders flex under your hands at his request.

Jungkook slides his hands down your ass to squeeze the flesh in his hands when his finger tips graze the back of your thighs.

“Up.” he says firmly, offering you free transport to his bed. You hop up, his strong arms hold you and you wrap your legs tightly around his narrow waist. He starts the small walk to his bedroom, and you try to ignore the way his stomach pressed against your clothed clit is providing the smallest amount of friction with each of his steps, instead deciding to direct your attention to him instead. You give a gentle open mouthed kiss to the small mole on the side of his neck, you make a small path sucking where his jaw meets his neck, and he hums deeply making his chest rumble against yours in response.

When you reach his room, the smell of his fabric softener fills your lungs as he presses your back against his now closed door. His hands trail from your ass, trusting you to hold yourself up around him, up your sides, he slides your arms from around his neck and to the wall until your hands are effectively pinned above your head. The air between you is heavy for a moment as his dark eyes take in how you look like this, your eyes starry as your chest rises and falls in anticipation of his next move.

He kisses you again, slower this time. You whimper into his mouth when his hips grind his hard dick into your clit. His thighs flexing under yours as he grinds up again harder, swallowing as many of your beautiful sounds as you’ll give him.

He stops his hips and tucks his arms under you again to set you on his bed.

You reach your shirt to pull it over your head but he stops you.

“Let me.” He says half a statement, half a question.

You smile and say nothing but grant him permission by raising your arms above your head. He hooks his fingers into the hem of your shirt grazing your skin making goosebumps blossom on your flesh as he pulls it up and over your head. He reaches for the clasp of your bra slowly and gently like you might break, as if he wasn’t just shoving you against his door with his cock.

“Fuck.” He breathes out harshly when your hardened nipples are finally released to the cool air of his room.

He quickly strips off his hoodie revealing that he’s been painting without a shirt underneath the whole night. Your breath hitches as all the times you’d touched his arm or chest the hours prior, not knowing there was only a thin barrier between your fingers and his skin. You run your eyes over his bare chest and hard stomach, you knew he worked out but hot damn, those baggy clothes he wears does no justice to what’s under them. However he doesn’t give you much time to marvel before he reconnects his lips with yours leaning into you until your back is on his duvet, you spread your legs to make room for him to settle in between.

His hot skin drags softly against your nipples as he descends down your frame to pepper kisses along the valley of your breasts. He licks his fingers to roll one of your nipples between his wet digits while he attaches his mouth the other, swirling his tongue in intoxicating circles. You sigh at the small relief his mouth is bringing you and tangle your fingers in his hair, tugging roughly when his teeth bite down onto your sensitive bud. You feel the bed bow slightly below you as his hips stutter at your action. He quickly tends to the small sting with his tongue. Giving a gentle kiss to your nipple as he pulls away.

He sits up and hooks his fingers into your pants, but stops before tugging them down. “Is this okay?” He asks sincerely.

“Very.” You say, your heart clenching at his concern and help him slide your pants to your ankles, eager to have his soft skin on yours again.

He brings his lips to your neck again and you wrap your legs around his waist rocking your hips up to rub your neglected clit against his rigid cock that he has yet to spring free. The wet spot on your panties rubbing off onto his sweats. You moan into his ear at the small relief you’re able to bring yourself, arching your back further in attempt to get more friction and he chuckles against your skin.

“Patience, sweetheart.” He smirks down at you and your feeble attempt to feel his cock.

“Don’t wanna be patient. Want you to fuck me.” You say trying your best not to whine, as you reach for the waistband of his pants.

He runs his tongue along his lip and leans down until his lips brush the shell of your ear. “Oh, don’t worry beautiful, I will.” He moves your hands and rolls his hips into yours once to punctuate his sentence. “But I wanna taste you first.” He says and quickly sits back on his knees to slip your underwear down your legs, tossing them behind him not worrying about where they land.

He settles his shoulders under the back of your thighs and makes a path of open mouth kisses from your knee to your inner thigh, stopping right before your sex and inhaling deeply as he sucks a bruise into your skin, your face heats up and your hips shake in excitement.

“You smell fucking delicious, sweetheart.” he looks up at you with soft doe eyes that completely contradict his filthy words. He lingers just a whisper away from where you want him and you roll your hips to meet his lips. He smirks again at your frustration moving his lips to your other knee to make a wet path up your other leg with his mouth, seeing how long he can push you. Stopping midthigh to speak again into your skin.

“I wanna take my time with you sweets. Greedy little girls don’t get to cum on my tongue.” His eyes darken when they look up at you, his words sending electricity through your nerves and arousal dripping onto his sheets.

You opt for silently nodding as the only thing you could muster at the moment is a whine that you want to keep at bay.

“Are you gonna take what I give you, sweetheart?” He says rubbing circles into your hip.

“Yes, Sir.” You breathe trying your best not to roll your hips into his touch and get scolded again.

“Good girl.” He smiles at your compliance and finally gives you what you want.

He licks a long flat stripe up your slit, collecting your arousal on his tongue and swirling it around your throbbing clit. Your thighs tighten around his head and he groans against you.

“Taste even sweeter than I imagined.” He all but moans into your folds. He swears he could get off just like this, with his tongue buried in your cunt and his hips rocking his cock into his mattress.

You reach down and tangle your fingers in his hair, trying to pull him impossibly closer to you. He obliges you and wraps his lips around your clit sucking harshly, crude slurping noises filling the room but both of you are too lost in the sensation to care. Your hips start rocking against his mouth again, this time your body fully taking a mind of its own, your climax being the only thing you can think about.

“That’s my good girl, use my tongue to get off.” You moan louder at his words and speed up your movements, balling his hair into fists. As he looks up at you with lidded eyes, he gets lost, lost in your taste, lost in the way your sweaty chest heaves with your heavy breaths, lost in the way his name falls from your lips with your eyes screwed shut.

“I’m s-so fucking close!” your voice comes out in a strained moan cracking at the end of your sentence.

“Cum for me beautiful, wanna taste your cum.” He says wrapping his lips around your clit again to pull your orgasm from you. He may have called you greedy, but he couldn’t get enough of the way your thighs shook around him.

“Holy shit! Jungkook!” your orgasm hits you like a wave starting in your stomach and sending fire through your veins. Your hips stutter and Jungkook licks you languidly through your high. All the while your mouth mutters his name in an incoherent mantra.

He wipes his mouth on the back of his hand and climbs over you leaning on his forearms, and captures your lips in his. You taste yourself on them and smile against his mouth.

“You look so beautiful when you cum.” He says placing soft kisses along your jaw. And you’re glad he can’t see the way your cheeks flare at his comment. “Think you can still take my cock?” he says squeezing himself at the base through his pants.

“God yes.” You say perhaps a little too enthusiastically and he chuckles at you.

“You really are a greedy one, aren’t you sweetheart?” He says teasingly. “Let me get you ready first.” He says rubbing his thumb in small circles on your clit, your sensitivity makes you jump a little.

He looks down to watch the way your velvet walls swallow his fingers, but he stops his movement, realizing his hands are still covered in paint.

“Shit.” He mutters almost silently. “I’ll be right back.” He says with a smile pecking your lips before he slips out his door. Closing it behind him just in case, as not to let Hobi unknowingly come home early only to find you spread eagle on his roommates bed.

What the hell is he doing? Your eyebrows furrow, worried he’s gonna get some sort of convoluted sex toy. Which while you wouldn’t normally object, that’s a tad presumptuous on his part.

Your mental ramble cut short and worries put to rest when he reenters the room with clean hands. He strips his sweats from his hips and climbs back over you.

“Sorry, I didn’t want you to get some sort of paint-chemical related rash on your… lady bits.” He says hesitantly breathing out a laugh against your cheek.

“While that’s incredibly considerate of you. That sentence didn’t do much for my ‘lady bits’.” you know what his venom filled tongue is capable of, so his childish use of words makes you giggle.

He rolls his eyes at you and cups your face, pulling you in for another deep kiss. His hand snakes down between your legs and when his thumb connects with your clit you squeak and break the kiss.

“Your hands are freezing.” you say with more of a pout than you’re willing to admit. You presume he didn’t wanna make you wait too long so he washed his hands in cold water.

“Why don’t you warm them up for me?” he quirks a brow and smirks. Bringing his hand up to your mouth and sticking his middle and ring finger between your lips. You happily wrap your lips around his digits; licking, sucking, and humming in content around them.

Jungkook’s cock twitches in his boxers as he watches your cheeks hollow slightly around his slender fingers, resisting from pushing them deeper in your mouth and seeing how pretty you look when you gag for him.

He removes his hand from your mouth, marveling at the string of saliva that follows it. He reaches down to tease your entrance letting your spit and arousal get you ready for his stretch. He slips his fingers into your dripping core and has to hold back from moaning at how well you hug him.

“Your pussy is so tight, sweetheart.” He breathes. “Your sweet cunt is gonna squeeze me real well won’t it?” He says catching your bottom lip between his teeth. You can’t help but clench around his fingers. “That’s my good girl.” He says, his eyes darkening and he curls into your sweet spot, you moan at how quickly he seems to be learning your body. Like he could figure out exactly what makes you tick if you stayed in his bed for just a while longer.

He removes his fingers making you whimper. He slips his boxers down a little and uses your arousal and his precum to wet his dick. Your mouth waters and you clench around nothing at how beautiful he looks slowly pumping himself with furrowed brows, until now he’s done a good job of not showing how badly his body demands to be touched just as much as yours does.

He lines himself with your entrance and teases your clit with the tip of his cock, fighting the urge to slam himself into you to the hilt.

“Do you want me to grab a condom?” he says mere millimeters away from slipping into you.

“I’m on the pill.” you reassure and gasp at how close he is to giving you everything you wanted since he crashed his lips into yours at the easel. Or possibly before that.

That’s all he needed to hear before he pushed his cock past your entrance and into your wet pussy, the stretch he’s giving you making you thank him silently for insisting on warming you up first.

“Fuck.” You both moan at how well you squeeze around him. He goes slow, inching in to give you time to adjust. You wrap your legs around his waist to encourage him deeper. He continues his slow pace breathing hot and thick against your neck.

He sits up to watch how he disappears inside you. “Look how well you take my cock, sweetheart.” He says picking up some speed in his thrusts. You moan at how well he hits every spot in you that’s been left untouched tonight, his dirty words only further building the pressure in your pelvis.

His thrusts become harder and you reach up you brace yourself on his biceps, his muscles flexing while he supports his weight above you. He angles his hips up slightly hitting your sweet spot perfectly, and you nearly yelp at the sensation, digging your nails into his arms making him hiss.

“Right there? Is that how your little pussy likes it?” He feigns a subtle innocence in his voice. Like he can’t see with his own eyes how well he’s fucking you.

“Yes, fuck! Please don’t stop.” you beg, mostly to get him to do just that, but also because of the sweaty fog his delicious cock has worked into your mind isn’t exactly allowing you to form the most intelligent of sentences.

He sits back on his knees and pushes one of your legs to your chest, his dick hitting deeper than you thought possible making your eyes roll back and your jaw slack. Your moans become uncontrollable and the words you’re attempting to say just come out in broken sounds.

“Such a good slut for me, look at you falling apart on my cock.” his voice almost a growl. “You gonna cum soon, sweetheart?” He says with a voice like silk to mask how close he is himself.

You can’t do more than nod fractically at his words in fear your voice will betray you. He rubs your clit with his thumb to earn your second climax from you.

And you do, your walls tighten around his cock but his pace doesn’t falter. Your legs shake and your eyes roll back. You cover your mouth to muffle a scream. Your orgasm ripping through you so hard you feel like you might burst.

Jungkook hisses at how hard you’re squeezing him and fucks you through your high. He reaches to his headboard to fuck into you harder, being selfish for the first time tonight, using you to chase his own high.

“Where do you want it?” He says in a stifled whine.

“Cum inside Jungkook. I want you to fill me up.” You say pressing your nails into his chest. The overstimulation you feel in your core is worth every thrust when he finally lets go and fills you with his cum. His cock twitching as he slowly rides out his climax.

He collapses on top of you, breathing heavily into your neck. Then rolls over to the other side of the bed, to allow both of you some cool air on your skin.

“I hope I didn’t go too hard at the end there, are you okay?” He looks over at you with worried eyes.

“No. No it’s okay, I liked it.” you smile, your lungs and heart rate working hard to steady themselves.

After he’s caught his breath a little he reaches into his bedside table to get a small rag to wipe up some of his cum leaking out of you, and you suddenly feel very vulnerable at his thoughtful gesture.

The post sex clarity hitting your mind, not quite in the way you hoped. As you lay there the height of what you two just did sending your mind go into overdrive.

Oh fuck. You run through the events of the night starting to panic a little. He’s my friend, how did this even happen? I wasn’t gonna do this. I wasn’t gonna let this get more complicated than my attraction to him already was. Shit, I’m an idiot. I mean he did kiss me, but… I can’t let this happen again. I don’t want this to end badly and have to move just because I think with my idiot vagina. It makes things too complicated. Okay, I have to end whatever that was now before things get even more complicated. He won’t mind right? He’s a college dude, he’s probably fine with just hittin’ it and quittin’ it. Yeah, everything is good. Friends can fuck once and then be good, it happens all the time.

You sit up from his bed and run your hands through your hair a couple times in an attempt to tame it and start to pick up your clothes.

“Are you okay?” He says, watching you as you attempt to find your underwear.

“Yeah, I’m good, just have an early class in the morning and I should probably get going.” you force a smile.

“Oh, uh okay.” He says not quite convinced. Though you weren’t lying about that, you really did have a class in about seven hours.

“Hey um,” you hesitate, sliding your pants on just choosing to abandon your underwear. “This was just a one time thing, right?” you ask him, hating the way you said that.

He senses your tone and feels a little twinge in his chest, but he ignores it, putting on a smile instead. “Yeah, definitely. Why do you ask?”

“Okay, good.” Another twinge. “I just don’t want things to be too complicated, with us being neighbors and all…” You trail off, trying not to cringe at yourself.

“Yeah, that makes sense.” He pauses, realizing for the first time that this could have negative consequences. “No worries, it’s forgotten. Just friends.” He reassures pulling his pants on.

“Just friends.” You smile and extend your hand to him. You shake on it.

You pull your shirt over your head.

“See you later, neighbor.” You say attempting to bring back the way things were just an hour ago. And you slip out his door.

He doesn’t walk you home like he normally does, and honestly you’re thankful. You just want to be back in your apartment where you can pretend that didn’t just happen. Even if that was one of the best fucks you've ever had, you're certainly not going to think about it. What is there to think about? Nothing happened.

You slip out his door, and into yours, met with Jimin munching in your kitchen, presumably after a party and your feet halt in their tracks.

“Damn babe, you look positively wrecked.” He says with a knowing smirk.

“Jimin, I am so not in the mood for whatever you’re about to say.” you say exasperated.

“Oh, so I should save the ‘I told you so’? Would you rather get it in the morning?” He asks innocently, though he’s anything but.

“Preferably never.” You quip and slip into your bedroom.

Yeah, never is good, we’re just gonna pretend none of that happened.

-----------------------------

Taglist: @taezeus @spoopysoph @gucci-prince-tae @jiminiesthiccthighs @veryuniquenamegoeshere @hermiones-enchantment @irissilujm @flo-music @scalbra @sugarrimajins @embrace-themagic @megsmiiiii @nerdycookiemonster-1222 @livorna

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thinkingbookthoughts · 4 years ago

Text

Strange the Dreamer, post read thoughts.

I just finished it last night, and hoo boy was it a read. This is the first book I’ve read by Laini Taylor, and it’s got me wanting to read more. I’m starting Muse of Nightmares tonight or tomorrow, and maybe after that the Daughters of Smoke and Bone trilogy. Anyway, [spoilers probably]:

First off, I don’t care for fantasy. I tend to have little patience for made up words (yes, I know all words are made up, you know what I mean) and hyper detailed world building. I enjoy the fantastical, but fantasy as a genre generally bores me to tears. I don’t want to read about fake cultures when I could be learning about real ones. That’s personal taste, whatever. Taylor however, writes it almost exactly the way I want to read it. She dips occasionally into exposition dumps, but I find it nowhere near as tiresome as the typical Tolkienesque approach. Even then, I’m interested. She’s created such a wonderful world that I want to know whatever she’s going to give me, and uncovering some new detail feels like a treat, not a slog. My eyes still glaze over at all the made up words and politics, but everything else makes up for it.

What keeps this book interesting to me is definitely not the plot though. I have no major issues with it, it’s fine, whatever. But it falls into the category of legendary fantasy tale that generally I have no interest in. Hero’s journey and all that. I find it boring. Again, personal taste, whatever. I tend to enjoy character driven more than plot driven anyway, and this book is absolutely character driven. The story itself is so simple I might even go so far as to call it formulaic, but the people who carry it are something else. When their hearts break, so does yours. I won’t lie, she does go for some easy gut punches, but they do still feel earned and in their place. She’s not afraid to let you dislike her heroes. Except maybe Lazlo, I’ll talk more about him later (though I feel like the sequel may challenge him more). Most of the people that we grow to like are complicated. They’ve done terrible things, or harbor toxic beliefs, but they’re also justified to a certain extent. And to what extent that is, is left up to you.

She does kind of beat you over the head with her themes, but I mean, this is technically YA. It’s not terribly clumsy, you just find yourself wanting to go, “OK I get it! Move on!” every once in a while. But that’s a hard line to toe as a writer, and as far as shortcomings go, it’s really not that big of a deal. I’m willing to forgive it, anyway. Sometimes you can feel when the “correct” answer is coming through, usually because Lazlo is taking a hard line moral stance, but it never felt so overwhelming to me that it seemed like right and wrong were being truly dictated. It’s not perfect, and writers are allowed to have opinions, so eh.

In general, I’m a big fan of her writing style. I get the feeling the novelty would wear thin if I read all of her books back to back, so I won’t lmao, but from the one I’ve read I love it. She has issues with repetition to the point where it crosses from emphasis to unnecessary and redundant pretty often, but god I am a simp for flowery prose, so I will forgive it. If I had to describe the way she writes to someone who is deciding whether or not to read it, I’d say that she writes like those verbose, rich paragraphs you find on tumblr. You know, where someone has had a few nice sentences flow into their head, but they aren’t going to expand on it so they post it as is, without the context that might make it anything more than pretty words. (No shade, but... look they’re not exactly high art, ok?) Except that she’s actually written the book. And I find it a very pleasurable experience. Like I said, I am a simp for all things purple. If you’re not, you’ll probably hate it.

It can, at times, absolutely feel indulgent, but in a way the whole book is. I mean the fantastical elements of this story really go hard. She’s not really attempting realism here. Grounded (enough), sure, but definitely not realistic. And it’s fine by me. I’m willing to give a story a lot of passes if I feel like the writer has earned them in other ways. I don’t care if every little detail is what would really happen. Not at all, actually. If I wanted realism I’d go outside. I’m reading a book, not a newspaper.

One example is what I saw described as the “insta-love” between Lazlo and Sarai. Personally, I had no issues with it. It felt earned and in place in the context of the story. It makes sense for the two characters, both of whom are young and have felt painfully isolated for their entire lives. And then in walks someone with a mutual attraction, who can interact with them and appreciate them in a way no one else ever has. Yeah of course they fall in love. Even if the relationship wouldn’t have worked out long term, it makes total sense that one would have started. And as for how quickly it happened, eh. They literally met in a dream, what do you want?

There are plenty of other crimes that I’m sure I would defend, but here’s one I won’t. Thyon Nero. He is so criminally underutilized in this story, I question his place in it at all. Which is a goddamn shame because I love me a petty bitch like Thyon. It feels like he’s all wasted potential. In a sea of interesting, well drawn characters, he’s flat as Saskatchewan. Unforgivable. If it had been another character, fine. But Thyon? Come on! We spend enough time with him that he should feel more interesting, but he just doesn’t. There’s an attempt to give him a tragic backstory and whatever, but it’s so cliche (rich pretty boy with an abusive family behind the scenes controlling him and making him feel like a pawn in their game. Snarky on the outside, hurting on the inside, blah blah you’ve heard it a million times.) that I need more! You can’t just give me a scene of him getting whipped by his shitty dad, toss off a sentence about him wanting to free from his family’s exploitation, and then dust your hands and call it a day. UGH. He honestly serves as little more than an occasionally funny, almost interesting character foil for Lazlo. He exists to show you what a good boy Lazlo is. And that’s it. They aren’t even proper enemies. How much they dislike each other in any given scene is directly inverse to how much the plot needs them to get along in that moment. Before they’ve even reached the city Thyon is little more than a mild inconvenience. So why set him up as this scary antagonist??? I’m really hoping the second expands on him. I need more. You cannot dangle a funny bitch like him in front of my face and then do nothing with him! RUDE.

Ok, now Lazlo, I said I’d talk about him. Here we are. Lazlo Lazlo Lazlo. First of all, hate his name. That’s a nothing issue, I just had to say it. Second, he’s kinda lame, huh? I wouldn’t say that he’s underdeveloped, I feel like I have a much better idea of who he is than I do Thyon, it’s just that his development isn’t that interesting. He very much feels like a protagonistTM. He’s passionate and funny, driven and like... always in the right on moral issues. He’s the immediately accepted outsider who’s also able to bring a new, but more importantly, morally correct perspective on their issues. He’s charming, but humble, shy but not enough to actually impede social interaction. I don’t hate him, I’d probably hang out with him if I was on that journey (assuming I wasn’t following Thyon around like the simp I am). He’s just that kind of perfectly imperfect character. His flaws only make him more likeable, he’s never outright wrong about anything. I’ll say it, Lazlo is a Mary Sue.

Lazlo is a Mary Sue and Thyon was wasted on his basic ass. And that’s that on that.

I will let that (correct) declaration wrap this up. It’s way too long already. Thank god not a single person on earth reads these. Small miracles.

#booksbooksbooks #books #bookblr #booklr #strange the dreamer #good book #liked it a lot more than I thought I would #book thoughts

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lcnguor · 4 years ago

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THE MEGA RP PLOTTING SHEET / MEME.

First and foremost, recall that no one is perfect, we all have witnessed some plotting once which did not went too well, be it because of us or our partner. So here have this, which may help for future plotting. It’s a lot! Yes, but perhaps give your partners some insight? Anyway BOLD what fully applies, italicize if only somewhat.

Mun Name: Mik Age: 26 Contact: IM, discord, smoke signal, whatever.

Character(s) I rp: Nora, Spike. Which muse(s) inspires you the most atm?(for MM): Nora, most likely Current Fandom(s): Fandomless Fandom(s) you have an AU for: pretty much everything I find around and hop on. My language(s): spanish, english. Themes I’m interested in for rp: Fantasy / Science fiction / Horror / Western / Romance / Thriller / Mystery / Dystopia / Adventure / Modern / Erotic / Crime / Mythology / Classic / History / Renaissance / Medieval / Ancient / War / Family / Politics / Religion / School / Adulthood / Childhood / Apocalyptic / Gods / Sport / Music / Science / Fights / Angst / Smut / Drama / etc. Themes/Genres you have an AU for: modern without supernatural, I do have some fantasy set up but eh.

Preferred Thread length: one-liner / 1 para / 2 para / 3+ / novella. Asks can be send by: Mutuals / Non-Mutuals / Personals / Anons. Can Asks be continued?: YES / NO only by Mutuals?: YES / NO. Preferred thread type: crack / casual nothing too deep / serious / deep as heck. Is realism / research important for you in certain themes?: YES / NO. Are you atm open for new plots?: YES / NO / DEPENDS. Do you handle your draft / ask - count well?: YES / NO / SOMEWHAT. How long do you usually take to reply?: 24h / 1 week / 2 weeks / 3+ / months / years. I’m okay with interacting: original characters / a relative of my character (an oc) / duplicates / my fandom / crossovers / multi-muses / self-inserts / people with no AU verse for my fandom / canon-divergent portrayals / au-versions (as main or only verse). Do you post more ic or occ?: IC / OOC. Are you selective with following others?: YES / NO / DEPENDS.

Best ways to approach you for rp/plotting: ask, IM, discord, singing telegram, smoke signals, messeger pidgeos -- whatever dude. I will most likely talk and ramble a lot, I do like plotting and I squeeze my brains out to think in ways to rp with ppl. and I really suck at approaching others. really...

What expectations do you hold towards your plotting partner: Ideas and somewhat more enthusiasm than me. I tend to shy away or feel very much awkward right off the bat if the person approaches me with not much to say or give. And honestly, some people really intimidate me because I am too hard on myself, so giving a bit of a pat on the back makes me relax more. I deal with a lot of anxiety and I know people run away the second I show it.

When you notice the plotting is rather one-sided, what do you do?: Mostly when I am doing the talk or coming with ideas or looking generally more interested. It takes effort for me to get on things and actually do stuff but if it’s not the other way around I end up thinking they got bored of me. I am one hell of insecure person. As for what I do, if after many tries of trying to reach another person and end up feeling rejected or ignored, then ... I stop. What’s the point of insisting if the other person would just be awkward or not spare you a word?

How do you usually plot with others, do you give input or leave most work towards your partner?: well, I usually ask first what the other thinks or have in mind, if nothing, I either suggest or start brainstorming with the other person. I know some who have dealt with me at first I seem like a dettached person but not having ideas really makes me feel like I have not much right to talk. I want to give yet without impossing or letting it twist my arm. I know for a fact nora’s lore really doesn’t help shit for most things.

When a partner drops the thread, do you wish to know?: YES / NO / DEPENDS. - And why?: if the thread was meaningful and we were really into it , then I would ask but as for the most, I don’t really bother with it. Sometimes people just lose muse, and even if I was enjoying it, I don’t have the right to force someone or ask why they stopped. thread dropping is normal, i guess. - What should your partner do when dropping a thread?: whatever they want. telling me or not is up to them, I don’t really mind. RP is not something SUPER serious like it should be just perfect. I try to convice myself of this a lot.

What could possibly lead you to drop a thread?: either because it was old as fuck, I couldn’t find muse or because it was lost in the void of tumblr’s amazing tracking system. - Will you tell your partner?: YES / NO / DEPENDS.

Is communication in the rpc important to you? YES / NO. - And why?: if I do not have some idea of who am i rping with and what they have in mind, then it’s nearly impossible. being purely IC is really uncomfortable and could lead to a lot of misundertandings. - Are you okay with absolute honesty, even if it may means hearing something negative about you and/or portrayal?: yeah. mostly yeah -- I mean, I will feel bad, I do have feelings, but I will take it with water. - Do you think you can handle such situation in a mature way? YES ( but I will feel bad anyways ) / NO.

Why do you rp again, is there a goal?: connect with others, ramble a lot about characters, have fun. I’ve been rping since i was 12 ( back then it was not big deal your age apparently ) and having to connect with other people by making these plots and stories and just having a fun time is something that brings me joy. There’s so much that can be done. And exploring my muses with other muses influences is really helpful to fill the holes left due indecisiveness.

Wishlist, be it plots or scenarios: I wish people joined my lore more. Having muses that could be in the same story department as Nora in particular, would be hella and inspire me more. There is so much I have. Explore nora’s power is also something I want but it’s hard -- it’s very invasive and not many would really like it, feeling it’s meta. For now, I don’t really have other muses and Spike has her little crew outside tumblr.

Themes I won’t ever rp / explore: umm, it’s hard to think in something in particular. But mostly stuff that collides with nora’s story/character. but there is a lot I am willing to explore.

What Type of Starters do you prefer / dislike, can’t work with?: casual starters are my fab. It’s easier to figure out how to go or stop and think. plotted ones also work. as for what I dislike or cannot work with, things that force my muse to not act how they would? not giving me something solid is hard to handle.

What type of characters catch your interest the most?: I really like out of the norm muses, something that you see and say /oh , look at that/. Aesthetically, story wise or personality wise, something that goes out the usual troup most would use. I do have a guilty pleasure for opposite to my muse characters --- something that would really show the contrast with one another.

What type of characters catch your interest the least?: Very basic ones? or those who try TOO hard to be special. A character that doesn’t fit in the context they are in, esp. in fandoms. HEAVILY divergent characters that just basically turn them into OCs. I know I sound like a bitch but I am the type who respect canon and the actual author behind the character too much. Also those that I don’t know much about? as in, the fandom never managed to catch my interest or smth in that line.

What are your strong aspects as rp partner?: I know where is the line between fiction and reality. And that what your character does it does not reflect as the person you actually are. I am pretty laid back and I understand people’s views and reasoning. idk. I draw a lot if I am super invested ?

What are your weak aspects as rp partner?: I am super sporadic and can go from being super active to flat out dead for weeks. my mood swings a lot with the amount of attention I get, as horrible as it sounds. I am very anxious as a person for reasons ( not IRL mostly, just bad experience from previous partners ). I promise a lot but do little? honestly I will just bad mouth myself if I keep writing this.

Do you rp smut?: YES ( tho mostly on discord ) / NO. Do you prefer to go into detail?: YES / NO / DEPENDS. Are you okay with black curtain?: YES / NO. - When do you rp smut? More out of fun or character development?: both? - Anything you would not want to rp there?: ehhhh, idk -- i don’t do as much to know what I don’t like here.

Are ships important to you?: YES / NO / RELATIVE. Would you say your blog is ship-focused?: YES / NO. Do you use read more?: YES / NO / SOMETIMES. Are you: Multi-Ship / Single-Ship / Dual-Ship — Multiverse / Singleverse. - What do you love to explore the most in your ships?: the very nature of human relations. I am talking about Nora big time here -- there is a lot to explore in her relations and how she reacts and acts towards someone is very very contextual. How much she fakes, how much she is sincere, how much she struggles or how relaxed can be. force her to show her real self, which is very hazy even for her as a task. Be very poetic deep and also very shallow. I particulary see her as a character that REALLY depends on her relation with the other muse -- but generally speaking for any of my muses: I love to explore them as a pair and as individuals. - What is your smut tag?: the unfamily friendly. ( new tag (?))

Are you okay with pre-established relationships?: YES / NO. - And what kind of ones?: Anything? I am open to anything honestly. As long as it makes sense.

► SECTION ABOUT YOUR MUSE.

- What could possibly make your Muse interesting towards others, why should they rp with this particular character of yours now, what possible plots do they offer?: Anyone who is denying their feelings, are peculiar as an individual or anyone who needs an insight of themselves and the world around them. Nora is a mentor type of character, she is here to be a support and help others explore themselves and learn. Also if you are a minor, she will most likely try to get close to help -- one must protect the good sad kids.

- With what type of Muses do you usually struggle to rp with?: Stubborn, very fixated with things. Who would not open themselves to other perspective without thinking someone is trying to change them. Also she would struggle a heck lot with psychopaths and sociopaths, or anyone that “doesn’t have a face” for her. - With what type of Muses do they usually work well with?: Curious people, struggling ones, kids in general -- people that are willing to listen to her opinions and try to improve in a positive way. Also those who are quirky in a way.

- What interests your Muse(s) in general: rabbits, literature, interesting people, the unknown, learning, relationships of all natures. - What do they desire, is their goal?: Live long without letting her particularity ruin her -- for her kind nobody makes it past the 50s and she wants that , to conquer her ability and prove that even with something like she is ( they are ), it’s posible to live and be happy. have a family of her own, yeah she is that cheesy. - What catches their interest first when meeting someone new?: Their actions and the emotions that they are carrying on their back. - What do they value in a person?: sincerity, willingness, enthusiasm. - What themes do they like talking about?: a lot of phylosophic stuff, deep topics -- as well to casual things of life. about people and society. - Which themes bore them?: excuses and avoidance -- people who are willing to drop everything and give up.

- Did they ever went through something traumatic?: the attempt of suicide of her mother. and the successfull suicide of many of her peers. - What could possibly trigger them?: any sort of threat or violence towards someone who does not asked for it. esp. her peers and family. - What could set them off, enrage them?: Immoral ones. Those who are willing to stomp on others just to success in their goal. - What could lead to an instant kill?: is not killing, but touch a hair of her family and you are done. same for her friends and protegees.

- Is there someone /-thing they hate?: gorgers, suicide, her tired face. - Is there someone /-thing they love?: her family and dear ones --- to a fault. rabbits or anything related to it.

Is your Muse easy to approach?: YES / NO. - Best ways to approach them?: any way is okay as long as is not threatening. - Where are they usually to find?: during the night, in the streets -- during the day is either her workplace or her house. maybe a park near her apartment/location if she is feeling stuffy.

Something you may still want to point out about your muse?: she is not a good person , she is willing to manipulate people and is constantly trying to impose her morals. but she is also very sensitive even if she doesn’t show it --- Nora does look tired for a reason , and one of them is because she cries a lot .

CONGRATS!!! You managed it, now tag your mutuals! ♥

Tagged by: @skyvar Tagging: @batoushoujo , @obtainedloss , @lorddiiavolo , @evanesense , @sunpierce , @necrotrigae , @maljefe , @ethaeria , @calpio , @veiliisms

#mik talks #ᴍᴜɴᴅᴀɴᴇ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛs » misc.

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ghostsofmemories · 5 years ago

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WIP Introduction - The Lake Won’t Let Us Dream

So, this book has been theoretically brewing for a few months but I’ve been super busy with poetry and life, so it was on hold. Technically, I’m still busy with poetry and life, but I decided I want to start it because it makes me happy and I’m having a particularly rough month that looks like will turn into a rough year, so, new WIP time.

This project became a ‘thing’ when my sister and I were talking about the place we grew up. Everyone who’s lived there has a very special attachment to it, and it’ll always be home to me, but a lot of bad things happen there all the time. We came up with a theory that it’s cursed - if you live there, you’re doomed to have bad luck for the rest of your life unless you leave the state entirely. That’s the only way to get out of the curse. And if you move back into state, you’re re-cursed until you leave again.

We built up a crap ton of evidence for this. Everyone who’s lived in this town either has terrible health, terrible luck financial, is followed by death everywhere, has/had an abusive home life/childhood, or had a house burn down or got struck by lightning or something along those lines. It’s a super small town and my mom + grandparents all grew up there, so we counted the people that have lived there that aren’t still struggling today, and there’s 7. Four of them moved to Montana, two to Florida, and one to Tennessee.

Anyway, back to the book. I was really enamored at the kind of cursed hometown gothic thing we had created for ourselves, where bad things happen for no reason and people give up trying to explain why, they just coast between all the bad things. And so I took my hometown, kicked all the people out of it, and stuck characters there. Here’s how it goes:

Eden Milne

Our narrator. She gives off mythical, majestic vibes but also very violent ones, sometimes. They don’t really conflict with her, they just... fit. She was raised by her grandmother and now she’s finally old enough to start her own life, but she can’t because her grandma can’t live on her own and they can’t afford to put her in a home. Eden also feels like she owes it to her grandma to take care of her since she raised her after her mother overdosed.

She has a sense of fascination for the world and everything in it, and has always been pretty content with her hometown, but she knows how things go here. It’s not talked about, but everyone knows that until you leave, things will only get worse.

She seems very kind and almost goddess-like in some ways, but she has a lot of thoughts that she doesn’t like to talk about (for example: how she’s slowly grown to despise having to take care of her grandmother, but also loves her. She can also be very manipulative at times).

Points of interest for character: big insomniac, total workaholic, kind of a bitch sometimes, biracial (black/white), gutsy, impulsive to the point of stupidity at times, yet always super graceful about it somehow because that’s how she is.

Addison Hunt

Eden’s grandma. Very sweet lady who’s gone almost completely blind over the years and can no longer take care of herself. Her husband died 1 year prior to the story and her daughter (Eden’s mom) overdosed 19 years before the story. All she really has is her house and her granddaughter, and she would die before watching either one get hurt.

She’s so nice and innocent that she sometimes fails to see the bad parts of people. She’s also incredibly inept at hiding her sadness for Eden.

Points of interest: doesn’t really get angry ever, sometimes people are weird to her because her granddaughter is black and she isn’t, a very calming presence to be around. Quite a lovely lady, but she’s pretty depressed.

Charlie Paltros

Love interest??? We’ll see. I haven’t decided yet. But there’s definitely chemistry. This boy is from the same graduating class as Eden, and the main thing they have in common is they’re both stuck taking care of people when they’re at the point in their lives where they’re supposed to be in college, finding their passions in life, and partying. Only he’s taking care of his younger sisters so his parents can work dead-end jobs at the nearest grocery store - the only place within a daily walking distance that they can work, since they don’t have a car.

Except, the thing is, the problem is his house burning down and his family dies. His mom and sisters all died in the fire, and his dad dies a few days later in the hospital. And he realizes pretty quickly he didn’t hate taking care of people. He wants to take care of someone, but turns out he’s a lot more in need of being taken care of (since he doesn’t even have a HOUSE).

He’s a character I honestly don’t know much about yet, but that’s chill because we learn as we go.

Points of interest: asexual biromantic (I knew this about him immediately upon creating his character, no clue why), does not care to be stereotyped, just wants someone to help.

Also, origin tidbit that’s actually kind of important in the story much later on: His mother was born in Mexico and moved to the United States, where she met his father, who’s parents were from Mexico and raised him in the U.S. He speaks Spanish just as well in English, but he’s confused because neither feel like his native language. He’s been told he has an accent in both.

There’s definitely more to come, but I don’t really have much else to say about this story besides that no, the town isn’t totally cursed. What’s actually going on is a poverty cycle. Bad things happen everywhere, it’s just that when they happen in this specific place, they affect people a lot worse and they have a harder time getting back on their feet.

However, it’s at least a little cursed, because there’s no other good explanation for the drownings and the fires and car accidents. Maybe we’ll see a bit of magical realism, maybe not. I actually have no idea.

#the lake won't let us dream #tlwlud #wip intro #wip introduction #my writing #my wip #writeblr #writing #new wip #lynn is actually writing for once #and yes i'm doing fine #i just have a lot of health stuff going on that's getting kind of intense #and the only person who understands like... at all doesn't really want anything to do with me #which is my fault #but that doesn't make it any easier #maybe i'll start doing a little health thing on here #but that's pretty weird #idk if i want to

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twdmusicboxmystery · 4 years ago

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Still Re-Watch and Review by @wdway

The wonderful @wdway recently did a rewatch of Still and shared it with me and @frangipanilove. I’ve gotten her permission to repost her very insightful observations. I hope you both enjoy it!

@wdway:

My review of s4e12 Still, written by Angela Kang, directed by Julius Ransay. I watched this episode with the commentary by Emily and Julius (E/J) and then the one with Norman and Angela (N/A), as I go through I'll talk about certain things including either one of these couples’ comments rather than go through the episode twice.

Even though I've seen this episode once or twice (that's me being funny) I did have a couple of ummmm moments that were interesting. The episode opens with a view of an abandoned car and the long road all lit by a full moon.

Am I the only one that has always wondered about the lone figure crossing the road? The way it moves makes it obvious that it's not a walker, maybe it's just a nod to the fact that there are people nearby that our characters are never aware of.

Now for the car I'm going to show you two shots, the first is the car as B/D comes upon it. The second when they are climbing out of the trunk.

In the first one we see that both the engine hood and the trunk are slightly ajar but basically closed

and in the second where we see B/D getting out from the trunk both the front and back of the car are completely opened.

I had never really noticed that before and this time I realized that it must mean something, because everything has a meaning and it seems very deliberate now that I'm aware of it, I just not sure what that meaning is. Any thoughts?

After B/D strips the car Daryl looks at Beth in a dead stare. I have always thought that was him looking at her like "a dead girl.” He turns without a word (because she's dead) and walks down the road. Beth pauses and then follows, foreshadowing Daryl thinking she's dead and leaving her and her later moving down the road basically by herself and Daryl unaware that she's following.

We next see Daryl hunting and his arrow breaks, and he then kills a snake with his knife (not really Norman). You'll especially like this part @Frangi. Norman and Angela's discussion here, Norman mentions that the snake that was killed actually had a rat in it that it had eaten. We see Beth setting up camp and E/J laughingly talk about how during the shooting this scene Beth was refer to as MacGyver Beth.

We are then shown Daryl skinning the snake (that sounded dirty) Beth watching from afar. I don't know how many times I've watched this episode before I realize that this was again a possible foreshadowing of Daryl (TF) being watched.

B/D eating the snake, both E/J & N /A talk about how it was eel with teriyaki sauce and how Norman almost got sick from eating so much of it. We see Beth take Daryl's knife, this is the second time we see her take his knife, the first was in Inmates. She goes off alone and we see her hide from a group of walkers and mislead them with noise from throwing a stone (hear no evil) turning around Beth sees Daryl who has been watching from afar, again foreshadowing anyone? Another little note I missed above was that AK at one point talked about how it was Gimple's idea coming into the writing room for season 4 about the groupings after the prison fell to put Daryl and Beth together and how surprised the other writers were. To me, just emphasizing that Gimple had Beth and Daryl paired from the very beginning and knew exactly where he was taking the storyline with them. He left clues, eggs, hints behind so that when we went back and re-watched they would stand out to us, just like this shot of Beth where she has a dirty little smudge exactly where she is shot in 5e8 Coda, you know the one where her being shot was a last-minute decision. (Me being funny again.)

@frangipanilove:

Wow, I never noticed the figure moving across the street in the beginning of still. I had to go and see for myself, and you’re right, there is something there. No way to tell what it is though. I really have no idea. The part about the hood of the car being open is something I’ve noticed, and I don’t have a great explanation of it. Also, the dead body by the car has changed position during the night. I don’t know what tptb mean to communicate by doing so, but I feel that it’s sort of then underlining that this sequence is symbolic, that it’s sort of detached from realism. Sort of them saying that Beth and Daryl’s journey together is something out of the ordinary.

Oh, and something I came to realize while I was doing the tree/three/trunk post; the name of the golf club is “Pine Vista”. Pine is a type of tree, and vista means view, or looking at something. It’s an eye/vision reference combined with a tree reference. I thought that was interesting. I didn’t include it in the post because it was already long enough, but it shows how tptb consistently uses this type of symbolism around her.

It’s something I’ve thought about because in 6x15(?) Eugene mentions golf clubs when discussing the route to hilltop. Then a few moments later he says “serious as a coronary thrombosis”. So, a Sirius mention near a golf club mention. In my opinion it qualifies as a nod to “still” in combination with a Sirius mention, which means return/coming back. Also, the choice of the words “coronary thrombosis” is interesting, because 1) it could be a nod to “slabtown”, where we saw a machine that treats deep vein thrombosis 2) corona is one of the most well known brads of beer in the world 3) someone suffering from thrombosis/blood clots would be treated with heparin, right?

@twdmusicboxmystery: I’d noticed the figure crossing the road before, but I guess I always assumed it was a walker. Obviously, I never paid much attention to the movements. Now, it’s being coupled with a half moon. The open car hood strikes me less as an open trunk reference and more as perhaps a battery reference. I’m not sure about the movement of things either. I’ve never studied it in depth. I know when the camera first pans over the bodies, there are some obvious forehead injuries, and isn’t one of them laying with their arm out, the way Beth’s fell in Coda? But that’s all pretty obvious foreshadowing. I’m just now thinking that, plot wise, it’s the walker horde that moved everything around as they passed through and around the car. So maybe that has to do with what they’re trying to symbolize. Like, TF left her behind and when they went back after the horde had gone, her body had moved. Meanwhile, car, trunk, and hood open. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I always love when you bring up Eugene’s line from that episode, @Frangi. And I agree: no way the coronary thrombosis thing isn’t connected to Slabtown. That’s just too specific. @frangipanilove: There was that Sirius mention when Beth and Daryl play the drinking game. I had somehow erased it from my memory, and had a real facepalm moment when that clip was released on social media the other day. It comes when Beth suggests that Daryl has been in jail. Then she says “I don’t mean anything serious”. It comes in combination with a mention of “jail” which actually qualifies as a cop/police reference (making it a “blue clue”), and that whole sequence became even more filled with symbolism. I already knew it was an important sequence, with the mention of pet ponies, frozen yoghurt, Santa clause etc. And with a Sirius mention in the middle of it, it just got more significant!

@wdway:

Episode Still continued. Moving on to the clubhouse E/J talked about the scene that was cut out and how Beth didn't drink because of Hershel and the mention of the red cups. B/D goes into the clubhouse dining room, there are 3 people hanging. The fact that there is three now seems significant especially since I believe that there are 3 bodies in the dog Trot room floor.

Of the two women hanging one is in a green flowered shirt (Alpha green dress) the other has on pearls, which is odd since she's wearing very casual clothes. We will see pearls again with the rich bitch, I think these may be an ocean/water symbol since pearls are found in oysters in the ocean. I also want to note in the shot of the dogtrot room to the right a green bean can and towards the center on the top shelf is a tomato can.

Did I ever tell you that it was the clubhouse scene that made me realize water was a Beth symbol? We were discussing fire and how we believed that was a symbol for Daryl and the question was, was it also a symbol for Beth? I was thinking about all the fire extinguishers, the fire pulls in the clubhouse that were around Beth, when the light bulb came on that these are actually water or coolant symbols. Even though Beth is a water symbol, I believe she is also a single flame symbol, a small fire that can light a large fire. She is the candle flame at the end of a long dark tunnel, the single match that starts a shack a blaze in fire.

The reason that I bring up the fire pulls and the fire extinguisher is that I consciously went through and counted them in the clubhouse segment. At first glance, they don't appear to be a large number, but when you think in terms of for each one, they were seen multiple times in different angles with either one or both characters within a scene. There are 5 fire pulls, there are 3 fire extinguishers (one silver two red) a total of 8 (these numbers look very familiar) this is a large number when you realize that the club house scenes couldn't have been more than 10 minutes (another familiar number).

There's two other items that I watched for and counted in the clubhouse. We have seen them in the seasons after Still, but I don't think we saw them before. Tomato sauce cans and green bean cans. As far as tomato sauce, we see them instead of actual tomatoes because there wouldn't be a feasible reason to see tomatoes in this abandoned club house, but we can see a picture of tomatoes on the label.

Years ago, I followed a wonderful TD'er weburythedead (unfortunately he no longer posts) but back in the day he wrote about Beth and Daryl and tomatoes. He felt that we could group tomatoes and strawberries together as a symbol for Beth and Daryl because of the color, also their abundance of seeds a fertility symbol also both are quite sensual and juicy.

The green bean cans well what better remind than the white and green can with the word GREEN on it to help people to think of Beth Greene and we even heard and we Daryl refer to her as Greene later in this episode. Throughout the seasons, we're reminded that Maggie is a Rhee and that Beth is the only remaining Greene.

We see 4 cans of tomatoes and 5 green beans cans. There are also 5 cans where we cannot see the label but let's look at one of these that speaks to me and made me quite excited when I realized what I was seeing.

Daryl with a can with a green rim at the top and a red rim at the bottom. A can of Greene and Dixon haha.

In the closet where Beth reaches for a bottle of cooking wine there are 7 cans alone. 2 clearly are tomatoes, 3 visible green labels and 2 labels not readable because there at odd angles. Along with cans in the kitchen area and also remember there is a green bean and a tomato can in the dogtrot room.

We have seen a lot of tomatoes and green bean cans through the seasons. We've seen them in the AZ pantry. The last time I remember seeing the green and white can the label read, Chunk, but it's similar to the green can so much so that I don't believe it's a coincidence, especially since there is a grouping of candles on top with a single flame burning from each remember Beth = single flame. This was s8e7 How It's Gotta Be.

I have a few things to add before I close out the clubhouse review. These are things mentioned in the commentary that I want to point out. I will have a ramble about the commentary in general when I do part 3 of Still, that will cover the shack. AK said that Gimple is the one that wanted the dog Trot on the wall in the clubhouse. Julius said a lot of was discussed with the grandfather clock, the time and the correct number of chimes.

Something I forgot to mention the other day that happened at the beginning of the Still re-watch, Julius the director said the car that they used was a Lincoln Continental. @Frangi, it proves your car model skills are awesome! I also remember in the after bonus scene of TTD the director came on and mentioned it then also. Imo emphasizes that tptb wanted us to be aware of that car model.

This is in the shack I want you to notice the can on the shelf above /next to Daryl. I talked so much about cans last time I just want to point this one out, we don't see a label on it but since it's red it could be several things, another type of tomato, cherries, strawberry filling?

Then we have these two cans on the table. One we definitely know is a dog food can because that particular label has been seen other times and then the other the label appears to be torn off so we just don't know, but I want to emphasize the fact that in the shack there are 3 cans.

For this last segment I'm not going through the episode because we all know it's so well, instead I'm going on a long ramble about the commentaries. This was the first time in the series that tptb had dual commentaries for a single episode and we could talk about the importance of that, but I'll leave it for another day. I went into this moonshine shack segment review with a couple of questions I wanted to take a close look at and ended up finding side tunnels to my delight. Listening to both EK/JR and NR/AK commentaries back-to-back was the key to the main points I found. 1) that there were certain dialogue moments tptb wanted us to hear. 2) things they wanted reinforced by talking about them with their paired partners. I even wonder if part of NR/AK's commentary was stopped and later sound mixed in order that we would hear the dialogue in a scene. I first want to go over some of my notes from EK/JR that doesn't overlap NR/AK. JR talked about during the argument, it seemed that other members of TF were intimidated by Daryl but Beth didn't seem to understand that she should be intimidated. She was standing up for herself and calling Daryl out on his bad behavior and his feelings. JR talked about how 4 of the producers were crying during the porch scene. In particular, the part where Beth talks about her wish, her hope for how her dad would live out the rest of his life. Sometimes it felt as if JR was checking off a list of things he was meant to mention especially at the end when he said that there was a toy cycle and a real motorcycle somewhere in the yard and was a nod to Daryl's motorcycle. It just seemed as if he was trying to just get that mentioned and it came out a bit odd. JR talked about how Beth almost seemed resigned/come to terms to her death. This was when Beth says "I'll be gone someday," he used the word die or death I can't remember which. Both NR/AK and EK/JR had several mentions that were so similar to each other but I want to point out a few. I first watched EK /JR commentary, a reminder that we hear them but see the episode play without sound unless the commentary stops and then we both hear and see the episode. When it got to the part where Beth hesitates to take a drink of the moonshine, EK/JR stop talking. I paused the DVD to take a note and when I continued it was so long that I wondered if I had somehow turned the commentary off when suddenly they started talking again. I went back to check and it was a full minute and 29 seconds of dialogue that included, going blind, Daryl telling her to drink lots of water, (a water reference) the pink bra, and Daryl's old man's dumpster chair (a dumpster reference). Both the mention of water and dumpster never meant anything to me until I watched it this time.

[@twdmusicboxmystery: I have to insert here that I totally never caught that “dumpster” reference before. Linked to Glenn’s dumpster and how he survived his fake out, if you’re confused. Awesome catch! ;D Okay, back to @wdway.] If you are wondering if we heard the dialogue about moonshine making you go blind during NR/AK's commentary the answer is kind of. AK was talking and NR started to speak, and it just trailed off as Beth said her line and Daryl mentions "drink lots of water," and then Norman finishes his thought. This is what I'm mentioned earlier about maybe there was a sound mix by tptb because the way it trailed off just seemed suspicious if you realize that if he had continued his train of thought we would have not heard the comment about "moonshine making you go blind."

NR then talked about taking the turtle shell for Emily, which is strange because this is where Daryl is talking about his dad's place and how similar it is to this shack. The turtle shell story, while being very nice, just kind of came out of nowhere. I think he got ahead of his to-mention list. AK ask Norman if he had heard of Bethyl and he said yes, Bethyl, Caryl and Rickyl. On both commentaries the couple's stop talking in time for us to hear Beth say "serious." When B/D have their argument outside we hear the Michonne, Carol, Maggie speech. NR talks about the hug from behind and how it must have meant for Daryl to fill her supporting him. When the porch scene starts, Emily mentions the turtle shell and tells a short version of the story. During the NR commentary he again notes the turtle shell in the scene, which makes sense of mentioning it then because we can actually see the shell. A couple of things that EK mentions, we will hear mentioned again by either or both NR / AK. Emily says she loved the porch scene. Just 2 people talking. She spoke about that B/D were being honest during their talk. During EK/JR commentary we do hear Beth says, "I'm not blind." We don't hear it in the other commentary, but I think it was because of what AK was talking about ended up being more important.

Next, I'll jump in with what a AK's response to Norman's honesty statement (below). Just know that this takes up quite a bit of the scene of D/B including when Beth says "I'm not blind.” It really would have been noticeable if AK had stopped abruptly in the middle in order to hear Beth.

AK: "It's not comfortable for Daryl to be intimate with someone, not even romantically but in terms of sharing who he is because there is so much shame. Not so much what you bring to the character or how you've played him. Shame about who he was. There's something about Daryl that's so real and honest. He just is who he is and Beth is kind of the same way, so that even though they're different characters, there's sort of a core kindness and sweetness about them that they can just talk about their real feelings in this moment."

I just love this so much. This is AK defining Daryl's character and I feel she has held true to it through the seasons. We've seen and heard a restating of this especially the last two seasons. But this explains why Daryl will always love his friend Carol but that need of being who he is at his core, honest and kind doesn't align with Carol's guarded, driven way of being and I don't see his qualities being things that Carol admirers or truly understands. I think she sees these as weaknesses and not admirable. Bottom line is she cannot be honest with him. How many times have we heard him this season state that very fact? This speaks to his core, being honest with yourself and the people you care most about.

Connie has many of the same qualities as Daryl but we saw early in the season her asking him to lie for her group or at least not tell. It may seem on the surface to be a small thing but for Daryl, I think he would question if it is a one-time thing or not. It speaks of him not really knowing her Is he drawn to her for who she may remind him of or who she truly is?

I do want to point out that in both commentaries, they talk about the song that Gimple wanted at the end of episode. Norman tells the story of wanting a different song but doesn't go into why he wanted the song that he did. This review has taken much longer than I thought it would, but I hope I was able to uncover a few things that helps in our understanding of tptb and the characters we love so much.

@frangipanilove

Loved your ramble! Totally agree with you, Daryl is honest to the core, wears his heart on his sleeve. And I think you articulated it beautifully when you said he doesn’t know if he’s drawn to Connie because of who she is, or if it’s who she reminds him of. And we sometimes disagree on Carol, but we’re in complete agreement when it comes to how awfully mismatched they would be as a romantic couple. It is only Beth that has been a romantic love interest for him. I am unsure of how far tptb will go in exploring the relationship with Connie.

However, no matter how they write it, I believe it will always be Beth for Daryl. The Connie situation is interesting though, because tptb HAS written a close relation between Daryl and Connie, and they have written it in a way that the GA will recognize as “potentially romantic”. Of course we, TD, also recognize that they have written Connie as a Beth proxy, so it’s all very interesting I think. But I’ve had enough of “interesting.” I’m ready for Beth now.

@twdmusicboxmystery:

Thanks so much to @wdway for doing a re-watch for us and pointing out so many great insights. There were lots of things here I’d never considered before, or simply hadn’t thought about in years. Hope you all found something interesting in here!

#beth greene #beth greene lives #beth is alive #beth is coming #td theory #td theories #team delusional #team defiance #beth is almost here #bethyl

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razberryyum · 5 years ago

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The Untamed/陈情令 Rewatch, Episode 13, Part 2 of 2

(spoilers for everything MDZS/Untamed)

[covers MDZS chapters 52, 53 and 54]

WangXian meter: 🐰🐰🐰+🐰🐰+🐰🐰+🐰🐰+🐰🐰+🐰🐰🐰+🐰🐰🐰+🐰🐰+🐰🐰+🐰+🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰

Continued from Part 1...

Xuanwu Cave Comparison

Between the novel, audio drama, donghua, and live action depictions of the Xuanwu cave event, there are marked differences that determine my preference for each version, so here’s how I would rank them (and this is only applicable to the Xuanwu cave adaptation):

novel > live action > audio drama > donghua

Since the novel is the og source, its depiction should naturally rank above all versions of MDZS, but if I’m going to be honest, I debated a bit whether the The Untamed’s adaptation should fall beneath it, or actually be equivalent to it. The primary reason for my momentary indecision is because the relationship dynamics between Wei Ying and Lan Zhan in the show were different going into the Xuanwu cave than how they were in the novel. Because they had gone through more experiences together—the Yin metal hunt and their defiance against Wen Chao, for example, which wasn’t in the novel of course—their interactions during this just this whole conversation scene in the cave is somehow warmer and more amicable. The difference is most noticeable with Wei Ying: in the novel he actually gets a little annoyed and then straight up angry with Lan Zhan, going so far as yelling at him and moving away from him. Even though it’s admittedly for a valid reason since Lan Zhan did bite him, the distance between their hearts felt farther apart. It did feel more like two people who didn’t like each other much, forced to work together. And since the audio drama follows the novel pretty closely for this event, the same sentiments applied there as well. But here in CQL, Wei Ying is mostly just teasing, considerate and sweet. He’s almost affectionate with Lan Zhan, like they’ve been friends for a while, which in Wei Ying’s mind they have been, so there’s no sense of animosity whatsoever. Wei Ying never stops to wonder if Lan Zhan actually hates him like he did in the book. Lan Zhan, in turn, was also generally more blatantly irritated with Wei Ying in the book, a fact that was clearly brought to life in the audio drama since he was rather short with him many times. Whereas here in the live action, while he’s exasperated with Wei Ying (because he’s being dense AF)…

...overall he’s more...soft? Like, even if we didn’t know he was in love with Wei Ying, or that Wei Ying thinks they’re good friends, there’s still no sense that they don’t get along at all.

Still, at the end of the day, because the novel is the well from which the Xuanwu cave event sprung forth, it has of course more precious and crucial elements that the show lacked, which helped finalize my decision on ranking the novel’s version of the Xuanwu cave above The Untamed instead of putting it on the same level. In addition to the previously mentioned piggyback ride, Lan Zhan making his permanent mark on Wei Ying by biting him and then breaking down over what befell his family and Cloud Recesses, were left out of the show as well. The stripping scene was also longer in the book, with Wei Ying straight out threatening to jump Lan Zhan’s bones while half-naked. Although a slight downer to that moment was how Wei Ying ended his prank: by assuring Lan Zhan he’s not into men. That one line actually still bothers me to this day because I can’t shake off its implications: basically, it’s really lucky for Lan Zhan that Wei Ying was revived in a gay man’s body. The thought of how their ending would have been otherwise makes my heart ache. For sure, I don’t think we would’ve gotten “everyday means everyday”. But that’s a longer and more involved discussion for another time. I’ll shelve it until we get to the episode later on when Team CQL changes Mo Xuanyu’s sexuality completely.

Back to the differences in the novel that was absent from CQL: Lan Zhan ended up wearing Wei Ying’s undergarments, and the satchel of medicine was from Mian Mian, not Wen Qing (who hadn’t even appeared yet in the story), which is important since later on when it’s revealed that Lan Zhan secretly pocketed that satchel and turned it into his coin purse because he’s such a sweet romantic. Of course the satchel never made an appearance against in The Untamed. Lastly, in the novel, Wei Ying ends up sleeping on Lan Zhan’s legs because Lan Zhan finally obliges his request after he passed out from the fever. The most we got in the show was them sleeping next to each other.

Aside from the differences in the degree of WangXian, there’s also general story differences as well: in the novel, Su She was the one who tried throwing Mian Mian to the Wens and pretty much got bitch slapped by Lan Zhan for it (in the show, it was just some random Jin disciple betraying his own kind). Su She also was the one that caused the Xuanwu’s blood lust to be riled up because he accidentally shot Wei Ying with an arrow while trying to make amends for his cowardice with Mian Mian. It’s actually a shame that Team CQL decided to leave Su She out of the Xuanwu proceedings entirely in the show because his inclusion would have made his hatred of Lan Zhan and his actions against Wei Ying make more sense. Petty jealousy and an overblown inferiority complex just seemed a bit of a reach in light of how much he despised Lan Zhan and the lengths he went through to essentially destroy Wei Ying. They really should have included Su She in the Xuanwu cave, was the actor not available, I wonder.

As for the audio drama, even though it follows the novel pretty closely and I absolutely love it and most of the performances by the voice actors—in particular our two leads, Lu Zhixing-laoshi as Wei Ying and Wei Chao-laoshi as Lan Zhan, who are absolutely beyond superb...seriously my knees turned to freaking jelly in some scenes because of them—not to mention, it is probably the most faithful adaptation of the novel we will EVER get, the reason I ranked it below The Untamed in terms of the Xuanwu cave events is because of the mere fact that some scenes just are better brought to life in a visual medium. That’s really it. Therefore, it’s not the fault of the audio drama, per se, but the nature of audio dramas that makes me prefer the live action’s depiction of the Xuanwu cave scenes over it.

As for the donghua, at least in terms of these particular sequence of events, I absolutely think it has to fall to last place because it omitted so much from the novel in terms of WangXian. Even though Wei Ying showed some upper body nudity for a brief moment and Lan Zhan rubbed medicine on his brand directly, they changed the disrobing to Wei Ying pulling on Lan Zhan’s head ribbon as the reason for Lan Zhan spitting up blood. He did smack Wei Ying for doing that, which I thought was cute and funny, but that’s still a far cry from what was supposed to be. Even the talk about Mian Mian was truncated and just didn’t have the same sentiments involved. Lan Zhan did get emotional over his family, but not to the degree that he did in the novel/audio drama. Also to be honest, most of the cave sequence in the donghua was just a little too dark. Like, I do appreciate the fact that they were trying to go for realism in a cave setting; I mean, at least they didn’t light up the cave at 9 pm (aka the time the Lans fall asleep like narcoleptic zombies...how do they even go on night hunts???) like it was Alaska during the summer:

But my poor eyes would have appreciated it even more if the donghua abandoned reality and simply lit up the surroundings more. They could have easily thrown in some glowing stalactites as the explanation for the unrealistic lighting. I was so happy whenever cultivation magic happened since those were the moments my eyes no longer had to strain.

Also, while the Xuanwu tortoise wasn’t much to write home about in The Untamed:

I did like the fact that I could see every CGI wrinkle on him. Actually, I’m being harsh, he really wasn’t too bad as CGI effects go in the show, and he’s definitely much better stationary than in action.

There was one thing that the donghua included that wasn’t in the novel, audio drama or the show, and that was Nie Huaisang. I actually don’t know why he was included...not that I’m complaining about it since I welcome more NHS in any version, but I thought that was a curious change and I would actually like to know the reason for why Team Donghua decided to add him in. Although, I can understand why The Untamed didn’t include him: first of all, he wasn’t meant to be there to begin with since he wasn’t in the novel but also perhaps they realized they didn’t need yet another damsel in distress who had to be constantly protected. One Mian Mian in the cave was enough.

With Apologies to Mian Mian

I know the Mian Mian in the cave was actually closer to the way she was portrayed in the novel, but I really didn’t like this version of Mian Mian since she isn’t the same one we’ve been living with in the show up until that point. In terms or The Untamed, the Mian Mian we know is much stronger, braver and smarter than that. I mean, this is the girl who diffused the tension between Wen Chao and Jin Zixuan at Qishan while casually side-stepping Wen Chao’s attempt at harassment at the same time. While I understand she was without her weapon in the cave and there had been no indication she was even that strong of a fighter to begin with, I’d still like to believe that had she been in character, she would’ve picked up one of the Wen’s swords and fought alongside everyone else against the Wen dogs. I don’t know why Team CQL decided to damsel her down in this instance, but I found it rather irritating. Her being the one to induce the Xuanwu’s bloodlust because she fucking tripped and hurt herself makes me cringe every single time I see this scene. That’s like a bimbo in a bad horror movie type of move and totally not worthy of the Mian Mian we’ve been blessed with up until then. This is the woman who will one day take off her sect robes and renounce her secthood in front of a roomful of sect leaders and her seniors due to her sense of righteousness, and then more than a decade later draw her sword to protect her family against two intruders hiding in her backyard....not to mention protect her husband and daughter against freaking ghost puppets while voluntarily going on night hunts. This Mian Mian isn’t one to cower behind anyone helplessly or carelessly tripping over her own feet, dammit. At least in the Xuanwu cave, Team CQL really did Mian Mian wrong.

Wei Wuxian is awesome

Again, a given as usual, but I still want to especially restate that fact because his recitation of the Wen Sect rules back to Wen Chao’s dumbass face is still one of my favorite Wei Ying moments. Not like I even have a non-favorite Wei Ying moment, but this definitely ranks at the top of the list. What made the moment even better was Wen Zhuliu’s reaction to Wen Chao’s ignorance.

I will never stop asking this: what the hell kind of debt does Wen Zhuliu owe Wen Ruohan that he would be willing to saddle himself with someone who is clearly very very much his intellectual and cultivational inferior? I know it’s a life debt, maybe his own life was saved, but that still hardly seems worth the trouble he has to put up with for all these years.

WangMian?? (j/k)

Even though Wei Ying was just teasing Lan Zhan about liking Mian Mian, I can kind of see why someone would mistakenly think Lan Zhan might have some interest in her based on this moment alone. The way the scene was constructed was rather interesting because of how Lan Zhan quickly rushes to Mian Mian’s side as soon as he notices she might be in danger. First time I watched this I thought, oh, he’s just doing that to block Wei Ying from getting into trouble and also to protect him from Wen Chao, but after reviewing the scene a few times since then, I realized his position isn’t quite right for that purpose. Or perhaps, Lan Zhan was protecting Mian Mian because in that instance she was someone who is weak and he was just acting on his principles. I can accept that explanation. After all, I don’t seriously think there was anything between Lan Zhan and Mian Mian, nor do I think Team CQL ever intended there to be, but that was still a rather motivationally vague way to execute that scene.

A Jealous Lan Zhan is Cute

I just love how over he is with Wei Ying flirting with Mian Mian. Lan Zhan was really chugging the vinegar there.

Wang Lingjiao is a Real Evil C-word

Speaking of people who downs vinegar like water, I have to take a moment to marvel at just how truly evil and petty a woman Wang Lingjiao is. The fact that in the middle of a highly dangerous, life or death battle with an ancient monster, she still found the time and mood to try to brand some poor girl her stupid sugar daddy showed just a teeny tiny bit of interest in is pretty astounding. She is really an unbelievably vile character. However, as much as I hate the character, and I will only hate her more in future episodes, I have nothing but praise for the casting choice for WLJ. Lu Enjie really nailed that role, not only in terms of performance but she had the perfect look and body language as well. And then, Qiu Qiu-laoshi’s voice acting made what was already perfect even more sublime. It was as if Wang Lingjiao literally stepped out of the pages of the novel and onto the screen.

Questions I Still Have

- Even now I actually don’t know how Wei Ying’s paperman trick works cuz there doesn’t seem to be much consistency in how it operates. Sometimes it seems like he’s just commanding it to do things, while other times he’s like putting his own consciousness in it. But even the degree of consciousness he is able to insert into the paperman seems to vary. What gives? And man, could Wei Ying have been more obvious with his little messenger in that moment?? That paperman flew to Wen Qing and clung to her in full view of everybody right behind her. Good thing the Wens obviously employ a bunch of blind dummies who are completely oblivious to their surroundings, otherwise both Wen Qing and Wei Ying would’ve been in deep shit.

- Did Wen Ruohan ever tell his son the game plan for keeping all the major sect’s kids? Cuz if the point was to hold the next generation of sect leaders hostage so that their parents won’t revolt against the Wens, KILLING them all in a cave is probably the LAST thing Daddy Wen would want Wen Chao to do. I mean, I would imagine nothing would incite a collective mutiny more than if everyone’s most precious heirs mysteriously died during a night hunt held by the Wens. Honestly, what the hell was Wen Chao thinking with that stunt? I guess the answer is he wasn’t thinking since he is kind of stupid, but then that begs the question why would Wen Ruohan let his idiot younger son be in charge of something so important in the first place? I wouldn’t trade the hostage situation in for anything since it did lead to important events in the story, but I guess I wish it wasn’t so flimsy-seeming in the logic department?

Overall Episode Rating: 9.5 Lil Apples out of 10

Disclaimer: The Untamed would not be possible without Mo Dao Zu Shi and Mo Xiang Tong Xiu-laoshi. I mean no disrespect whatsover when at times I may favor the shwo over the MDZS bible that is the novel. All hail MDZS and MXTX-laoshi, always and forever!

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constantlyirksome · 5 years ago

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This Week Euphoria Walks the Line Between Reality and Fantasy (1x07 Review.)

The episode is named “The trials and tribulations of trying to pee while depressed,” which sounds funny until the reality behind it is revealed. Rue is almost catatonic during a depressive episode, so emotionally fatigued that she can’t even get up to pee. That’s the theme at the core of this episode, peeling back peoples perceptions of illness, romance, and sexuality.

I don’t suffer from bipolar, but a combination of depression and anxiety, and the portrayals by Zendaya of her lows and manic highs were spot on. Rue was largely bedbound, consuming copious amounts of television and avoiding looking after basic human activities like eating or hygiene. She doesn’t find joy in things that usually interest her as they start to become emotionally taxing. She starts watching Love Island marathons because reality TV doesn’t take a lot of energy to consume and can be quite comforting.

She tries to draw energy from her memories but finds it more and more difficult to remember what actually brings her joy. “Eventually all you think about is how life has always been this way, and will only continue to be this way….”

These scenes, for me at least, were some of the most relatable and comforting than I’ve seen on TV in a while. Zendaya approaches these topics with care not to overdo it, with a knowing humor that comes from being a Gen Z kid who knows her audience, because almost everything lands or has an impact. The scene where Rue experiences a bout of mania was brilliant, likening her heightened mental state to one of an overworked, paranoid detective, was genius. Detectives Bennett and Lexi Howard actually manage to piece together what happened with Jules, Nate, and Tyler. You have to wonder what Rue’s actual physical state was when you take away the magical realism and suspenders.

I think it’s important to separate Rue’s mental state from her relationship with Jules, both because it’s not fair to put that much pressure on someone, and because I don’t actually think they’re related. Rue may have tried to sober up but anything that happened after that was biological. No one could/should blame Jules, who has been put in a difficult position despite how much she genuinely loves Rue. It’s not fair to hold someone on a pedestal, just like it wouldn’t be fair to make someone feel like a burden or “boring”. (Jules said this last week but couldn’t possibly mean it.) In this was Euphoria sends an important message about looking after yourself, boundaries, and dependency. Hopefully Jules and Rue can find a middle ground where they can support and uplift one another without relying on each other for happiness and health.

Jule’s Journey leans more toward fantasy, as she heads into the city to escape the situation she’s found herself in, confiding and hanging out with some old friends. Her insight into why she has casual sex, to achieve new heights of femininity, and to then shatter that concept entirely, answered a big question as to her motives. And it humanized her, which is something the show needs to do more of. The reactions I’ve seen saying if she leaves Rue she’s heartless is an attitude that reflects the shows focus on Rue when Jules has motivations and feelings of her own. In maintaining this manic pixie dream girl thing the audience becomes more alienated towards a character that could be really important to the LGBT and trans communities. She’s not perfect, ghosting her best friend just to send her a guilty “I miss you” text was a dick move, but not nearly bad enough to vilify her.

Her final scenes, in the club (overlayed with scenes of Rue passing out from a kidney infection) admittedly confused me. Was Nate actually there? Who was she actually having sex with?

The other characters only got slivers of progress. This week’s flashback is for Cassey, and while we get a sad look at her history with her father it does little to add to her character and zero impact on her current problem, an unwanted pregnancy. Her and McKay deal with the issue with a lot of maturity actually. While Cassey dreams of starting a family, that maybe it’s what she’s “meant to do with her life,” but ultimately she was just daydreaming as McKay lays down some hard truths about what being unwed teen parents would be like. The storyline wasn’t given the time or emotional weight needed and was tossed aside again to deal with Rue and Jules.

Kat was given two scenes, one was a fight with Maddy and another was a cam session gone awry. Because Kat has had more screen time and a fuller narrative so even these had more of an impact. She’s starting to realize while her new persona and philosophy towards sex is liberating, it comes with some drawbacks. The creepy video chat she has could be foreshadowing to her final transformation in the season finale that I’m excited to see.

Lastly, the peoples champion Fezco. I’m always cautiously praising this guy because, despite the good he does, he’s still a drug dealer who deals to kids. His refusal to sell to Rue didn’t feel like a big enough step, but throughout the season he’s had enough conversations with Rue for us to realize he does actually give a shit. Last week they had a touching moment at the Halloween party, and this week he sat patiently and listened to Rue rambling while he tended to his sick grandma. He looks on at Rue like a wilful little sister; even their dialogue seems like sibling rivalry (“sit yo manic ass down and shut the fuck up,”) while he’s trying to protect her from the gnarly drug dealer he works under. There’s a peek into what his work life is like, the pressure to sell enough to make the higher ups happy. With only one episode left I would love to see a flashback episode for how he got to where he did.

His showdown with Nate was a triumph. After telling Rue that threatening Nate was crazy, Fez can’t help himself when the lanky son of a bitch wanders into his den spouting off. Fez rightly reminds Nate that he is actually a gangster and will end his sad existence. I don’t know how Euphoria has managed to make a character like Fez so popular or likable, but I hope we get more of him next episode and next season, and while I hope Nate gets what’s coming to him I hope it doesn’t come at Fezco’s expense. (But really Nate signed his own death warrant as soon as he called the cops, Fez’s bosses will NOT be happy.)

I honestly don’t know where Euphoria will take its finale as Rue and Jule’s relationship, as well as Nate’s shenanigans, come to a head, and so far it’s been pretty hit and miss with story progression/ending things, but I still have hope it will be satisfying.

#euphoria #euphoria hbo #zendaya coleman #rue bennett #hunter schafer #jules vaughn #fezco #kat #barbie ferreira #angus cloud

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dzamie · 5 years ago

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I watched the live action Jungle Book! I’d say it was disappointing, but I set appropriate expectations going in. So, imma get into it:

So, the good parts first, in no particular order:

I really like Kaa’s hypnosis effect. The Disney animated movie’s swirling colors always looked really, really goofy to me, but the live-action’s waves of light and dark were very well done and legit alluring.

There are a lot of little jokes here and there that I feel were written in case they wanted to use them in a commercial. “You have never been a more endangered species than you are at this moment” is actually pretty darn funny.

The bodies moved well. King Louie was really the only animal I thought was straining realism too far; the positioning of limbs and torsos and stuff was pretty spot-on. Tails were a bit wonky, but you have to be looking for something like that, as someone with a slight tail fetish might.

This is definitely unintentional, but Mowgli makes an “oof” sound whenever something bowls into him or he leaps roughly against something. It sounds like the Roblox hurt noise. Tone-breaking, but HILARIOUS.

Having Mowgli seem to fear the bonfire was a nice touch.

As was having the final fight seem to take place at the watering hole, this time during wet season. Far from dry, the exact opposite of the Water Truce occurs - everything is in conflict.

Now, the less pleasant bits.

I mentioned the Water Truce callback was neat? Yeah. What a shame they took multiple minutes to repeat over and over that the Water Truce was that there was a truce around the watering hole. I’m glad they used all that time to explain why it was that Shere Khan wouldn’t attack anyone so he could conveniently see the man-cub. Also to set up the schtick where Mowgli has been Inventing Things because he is a Man.

Elephants are now a religion. I don’t like it, especially because it’s used to set up Mowgli rescuing a baby elephant from a hole, so that Baloo and Bagheera can see that Man Is More Powerful Than God.

The wildebeest herd exists only for shakycam purposes. There really isn’t much reason for Mowgli to not go directly into the river and escape Shere Khan on a log that way.

Oh how they ruined Kaa. I do rather like how she has a more cloying, sweet personality (it’s not better or worse than the animation’s rather goofy fellow, just different), but they whole-ass saw a snake character and thought “hey wouldn’t it be cool if she never wove around him or approached him from different angles? Let’s make sure to never show her for more than 8 seconds at a time, too; we MUST cut between her and Mowgli. There’s simply no way to shoot a scene where they’re both in the shot, talking.”

I hope you like snakeless ScarJo voiceover, because that’s literally half of Kaa’s appearance, from first line to last. It’s great that the man who hurt Shere Khan with fire just happened to be Mowgli’s dad, because I guess it’s not enough that Shere Khan wants to kill all humans in the jungle; he must have a Deep Personal Connection with the man-cub.

I can sort of understand coming out of the hypnotic vision to see Mowgli entirely in her coils, from a “this is Mowgli’s perspective” point of view, but wow it’s really unsatisfying. Look, the animated version had Mowgli slide into pre-coiled snek body, but at least we saw them interact. Kaa is pretty much a static prop here. What a waste of a serpentine character.

For someone who is afraid of heights and doesn’t know Mowgli, Baloo sure is eager to climb a big, tall tree and risk his own life against a giant, hypnotic snake.

Minor note: with all the focus on seeing Kaa from Mowgli’s point of view, Disney sure chickens the fuck out when it’s time to be snake chow. C’mon, you stupid mouse, show us what Kaa looks like inside.

It’s kinda weird that Bagheera and Baloo are so familiar with each other, considering that Mowgli has been in close contact with Bagheera all his life and neither met nor heard of the bear.

Shere Khan is almost comically evil to the wolves. Makes it hard to take his “I’m actually justified in my desire to kill you” thing seriously.

I feel like Disney hasn’t grown out of its “haha imagine SONGS in a CHILDREN’S MOVIE. What a stupid fucking idea” phase. Baloo and Mowgli sing off-tempo and off-key, and King Louie does a weird half-speaking thing that lets you know they want to do a song, but haven’t the slightest clue how to transition into one, and they still want to pretend to be a gritty serious realistic movie with no singing because that’s too silly.

King Louie Is Twenty Five Goddamn Feet Tall Because We Watched King Kong The Other Day

They set Louie up to be a mob boss, calm and composed for like a minute or two, and that goes out the window in no time flat. They try to bring back that structured “I help you you help me bada bing bada boom" thing back in the chase scene, but literally nobody cares what the chaser says in the chase scene. If they did, it wouldn’t be a chase scene.

“No, they don’t fear me, they fear you.” Except clearly they fear you because your MO this entire time has been “let’s kill and threaten animals and see if Mowgli comes back faster.”

Baloo, the laziest bear you ever did see who heard the wolf pledge exactly one (1) time and immediately dismissed it as propaganda, can recite it from heart because Shere Khan needs to be directly confronted with The Power Of Friendship

Can’t be a climax without fire. It’s a good thing that Mowgli can always find a safe path through this raging inferno that’s been burning steadily through the forest for the last few minutes or more.

Mowgli’s entire strategy hinges on many things that could go wrong at any moment:

a) the vines don’t catch on fire as he’s running through the burning forest

b) the vines and branch don’t catch on fire after he suspends them in the air in the middle of a huge forest fire

c) the dead tree, notably made of dead wood, which some may know to be extremely flammable, is not on fire nor does it catch on fire as he’s climbing it

d) Shere Khan follows him onto the branch

e) Shere Khan leaps at him on the fragile branch that Shere Khan seems to notice is weak

f) the vines and branch don’t catch on fire while he’s climbing them in the middle of a huge forest fire

g) he finds a way back out of the woods literally filled with fire

h) Shere Khan even follows him all the way in rather than going “nah the little bitch is gonna burn. Let him.”

i) the animals forgive him for setting the trees ablaze

They let ScarJo sing Trust In Me during the credits. Minor suggestion: don’t.

I choose to interpret Mowgli not seeing what happened with Kaa and Baloo to mean Kaa is still alive, and the monkeys trying to dig Louie out of the ruins to mean that he’s dead. This is entirely because of favoritism.

Compared to the animated version, this movie is much more based around Shere Khan, compared to around Mowgli and the jungle. Rather than “Mowgli won’t be safe here; send him to the Man Village so Shere Khan won’t kill him,” it’s “Mowgli won’t be safe here, but Shere Khan is going to threaten and probably kill us until Mowgli returns anyway, which he surely will because Shere Khan said so.”

They tried to do a grey-morality sort of thing by justifying Shere Khan’s fear of fire and hatred towards Men. But it kind of backfires because Shere Khan keeps being incredibly evil for no particular purpose aside from making his death be a good thing for everyone, and the one crime Mowgli commits (big fire) would not have happened if Shere Khan hadn’t announced his plan to kill the man-cub.

I really miss the allegories to different kinds of philosophies towards society from the animated version. The live-action replaces them with examples of different abusive relationships (Baloo is a manipulative fast-talker, Louie is supposed to be a mob boss, Kaa’s comfort is genuine but overshadowed by a desire to do harm), which is... nice, but not really my cup of tea.

Holy shit there is SO MUCH SHAKYCAM. You can barely see some of the scenes from all the shaking around. “Did we inspire adrenaline in you? Don’t you wanna go fast?” Yes, of course, but what am I doing this about? “...SHAKYCAM!! LOUD NOISES!!” It’s overstayed its welcome.

Realistic CGI animals are actually terrible at emoting.

This felt like yet another action film. Every opportunity they had, they threw in another fight scene or chase scene. You could take most of them out, cut off about 15 minutes from the movie, and still not have removed anything important.

All in all, I’m glad I now have 22 seconds of Kaa saying things. They really shouldn’t have given ScarJo so much coverage in the commercials, though. She’s in the movie for about 4 minutes, and she’s a visible snake for much less. I don’t think I’d pay to see this, and really this just gives me more reason to not watch other Disney live-action remakes.

Shakycam should have died eight years ago. Bring back shot composition.

#text #long post #The Jungle Book #reviews

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parasiticghostwasps · 5 years ago

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@echotheloser said: Yeah… I love the game but I have some issues with how disabled characters are portrayed. I definitely prefer to think about it like this.

@ask-kazushuu said: This blog’s Shrine AU’s Hitori has some sleeping problems, but I haven’t thought about actually giving him narcolepsy. Maybe he has sleep paralysis and hallucinations, trauma regarding all the orphanage kids, but he’s doing about as well as Nageki. (So somewhat?). It’s sad to give Hitori narcolepsy regardless, but I do like the idea…

(replies to this post)

Putting most of this under a cut because I accidentally wrote a lot in trying to consolidate my thoughts. Which are complicated and kinda all over the place. And then I tacked some headcanons on at the end because why not do that while we’re here.

Warning that there’s brief discussion of Hitori being a murderer in here.

I’ve just been thinking about it after I read a translation of the guidebook story in which narcolepsy is specifically name-dropped. I already knew hypnagogic/hypnopompic hallucinations and sleep paralysis as symptoms of narcolepsy before getting into Hatoful and had independently associated Kageki with that even before the guidebook affirmed that line of thought to me. At the same time, Kageki is there to externalize “Nanaki’s” warped perspective for the audience and present the story in an interesting way. Why Kageki exists in-universe is superseded by the way in which he’s used in telling the story.

Part of what I like about Hatoful is the way that things are exaggerated and not firmly grounded in reality. I like the way that kind of storytelling can focus on honesty of feelings and relationships and express those things in creative and artful ways. So like. I don’t expect realism from Moa and that’s not what I want from her. I might even prefer if no real-world labels were attached to “Nanaki’s” disorder, I’m not really sure.

Still, I think there can be value in using Hitori as a path to exploring a more grounded approach to writing a character with narcolepsy. I would like to try that, writing him using the real-world experiences of people with narcolepsy as a reference point and see where it takes me.

And I definitely understand if other people don’t want to lean into reading Hitori and “Nanaki” as a disabled character. He is a murderer in the main storyline. And the world does not need any more reinforcement of the ableist stereotype that people with hallucinations and/or delusions are violent killers. “Nanaki” is framed with more sympathy than many characters that are comparable in that sense, but it’s something that sticks to him nonetheless. My personal impulse to address this is to make him similarly disabled regardless of the universe, which is where I was coming from in my original post. But if other people feel like “I wouldn’t want to touch that issue even with a 10-foot-pole,” I completely understand.

One thing I thought was interesting is if we assume he’s being honest (which is a big “if”) about how much he sleeps outside of work when he’s talking about what he did over break and what he said on the drama CD, “Nanaki’s” disorder seems more like idiopathic hypersomnia, with the tendency to sleep for long, unbroken periods of time. (In contrast, narcolepsy involves both falling asleep in the middle of the day and waking up a bunch at night.) He also is never clearly depicted as experiencing anything like cataplexy (involuntary loss of muscle tone, often associated with intense emotions) as far as I remember, which isn’t associated with hypersomnia. Hypersomnia isn’t associated with hallucinations in the same way narcolepsy is, either, though. Still, that’s another direction he could be taken in.

Anyway, with all that out of the way, here’s some assorted thoughts on how writing Hitori with narcolepsy could work in an AU where both Nageki and Kazuaki are alive.

I imagine that the onset would be gradual enough that it would take a while for anyone to notice that there’s been a change. It takes quite a few months of “Sorry about that, I guess I’ve been pretty tired/haven’t been sleeping well lately” and “I don’t know why I’m so clumsy all of a sudden” before he or anyone comes to the conclusion that whatever’s going on isn’t going to just resolve on its own.

I trust that Shuu is the first person to suspect narcolepsy and wants to run tests and maybe even do a case study. He approaches it in a suitably weird and ominous way like “I have my suspicions about what’s going on, but I’d like to perform a lumbar puncture to be sure.”

Hitori eventually ends up on assorted medications that make things smoother, but he still needs to take naps throughout the day and has to be especially careful about his diet and sleep hygiene.

One might think that having a serious disability could help him to be more understanding of Kazuaki, but no. Having to work harder to just live his life only makes Hitori more resentful of what he perceives as Kazuaki not trying very hard. This is super unfair of him. He even kinda has a slightly guilty feeling like it’s unfair of him, but he wouldn’t attempt to change his thinking unless someone called him out on it.

I think it’s super funny when “Nanaki” just shows up to the infirmary to nap and I want to continue this proud tradition. Hitori might be marginally more tactful about it, but he still basically imposes himself. And once he has a diagnosis he’s like “You can’t turn me away, this is necessary for my healthy functioning.” Shuu’s just like “please set up a bed elsewhere”

Without any event (or combination of events) that is socially isolating in the way Nageki’s death was, I don’t think Hitori would buy into any hallucinations anywhere near as strongly as he does in BBL. Even if the massacre at Hatoful House still happens, I think he trusts Nageki enough (and would hopefully eventually trust other people, too, relying on only one other person isn’t healthy, Hitori, you dumb bitch) that even the voices of the dead wouldn’t be more convincing than Nageki’s assurance that they’re just vivid nightmares. It would still be deeply upsetting to be hearing from false ghosts voicing his greatest fears, though.

It’s usually fairly easy for him to recognize what’s real and what isn’t after the fact using context. Occasionally he’ll swear something happened that no one else remembers and it’s frustrating, but he can begrudgingly accept that.

Hitori avoids bringing up narcolepsy to people who don’t already know he has it. He doesn’t want to deal with people getting weird ideas about him or have to explain himself too much. And mostly people don’t think about it aside from thinking he’s a bit weird. It isn’t the most ideal impression people could have of him, but it is more convenient.

#hitori uzune #uzune hitori #hatoful boyfriend #wasp text #I didn't mean to write a meandering essay about this #it just happened

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amandaoftherosemire · 6 years ago

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Sing For Me - Chapter Thirty-seven

Fandom: Marvel Avengers AU

Pairing: Bucky Barnes X OFC (Sasha)

Characters: Bucky Barnes, OFC Sasha, Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanoff, Clint Barton, Wanda Maximoff, OFC Zoe, OFC Kat, OFC Maddie, Princess Shuri

Author: @amandaoftherosemire

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 2400

Format: Series (Complete)

Warning: Language, angst.

Summary: Sasha tries to wake up. Kat has a chance to talk to Zoe.

A/N: Not consistent with Marvel canon. The first chapter of Sing For Me went up at the end of February 2018. I’m trying to get the story completed by that anniversary. To that end, the next chapter is almost finished and should be up within a few days. I never intended for this to become a novel, but here we are. If you’re still reading, I love you.

Banner by @hellzzzbelle

Sing For Me Masterlist

Chapter Thirty-six here

Chapter Thirty-seven

Sasha had no idea how long she'd been hacking away at vines and branches when she finally broke through. All she knew was that she was hot, sweaty, and exhausted. The dress she'd started in was torn near to shreds, thanks to the rapiers disguised as thorns lining the pythons masquerading as briars. Between that and the time she'd taken to cut the skirt as short as possible to give her more freedom of movement, not to mention tearing off the sleeves, she was almost nude. Her bare skin no longer pristine, she was covered mostly in head to toe scratches and welts.

What fabric was left kept changing from blue to pink, however. She figured the afterlife was either weirdly symbolic or her hallucinations were weirdly straightforward. As she wiped at the sweat on her forehead, she couldn't help but wonder at the sharpness and realism of the experience.

With a final burst of energy, and profanity, along with a few more swings of the now filthy and green-stained blade, she slashed through the last few branches that stood between her and freedom. Laughing with not a little relief, she stumbled on bare feet and legs into a wholly unfamiliar forest.

The laugh dying on her lips, she looked around in stunned and furious disbelief. "Son of a goddamn motherfucking piece of fucking garbage bitch! What's this fucking bullshit supposed to mean?" As she muttered further obscenities, she hefted the sword over her shoulder and took off into the forest.

Kat was looking down at the serene façade that cloaked Sasha as she ignored the debate that raged around her when she felt a small hand on her arm. She turned her head to look at Zoe and smiled gently.

She had a lot of complicated feelings regarding her half-sisters.

Katya had hated Sasha with a vicious and bitter envy. The eldest of Alexandra’s daughters had been given everything, a family, a life, a choice. The others were left with nothing but neglect and pain and, at least in Katya's case, utter subjugation. Knowing Sasha was not to blame for the agonies she'd endured had made no difference when she'd looked into her sister's eyes and found no more recognition than when she'd looked into her mother's.

That lack of recognition had allowed Katya to hold on to the resentment long enough to complete her mission. Using her version of their talent to manipulate Sasha into seeing her only as a romantic rival helped to keep that hate and resentment solid. Those hatefully familiar eyes had felt like wasp stings on her skin, watching her with hostility and distrust. It hadn’t been difficult to maintain an answering hostility.

Once Katya had been able to drop the manipulation and show something more closely resembling her true self to Sasha, however, she’d been shocked by the change. Rather than feeling like needles, the sensation of Sasha’s regard became like gentle, teasing nudges. As Sasha’s captivity had dragged on, the more charming Katya had found her.

Not that Sasha was charming in her captivity, far from it. As a matter of fact, she was a raging bitch the vast majority of the time and she only got worse the longer she remained under Valentin’s thumb. Katya had loved every fucking second of it.

Every clench of Valentin's jaw, every snarl that curled his lip, every flush of rage that stained his aristocratic cheekbones, once daily terrors, became sources of dark triumph under Sasha's influence. Even when he took his anger at Sasha's defiance out on her, Katya internally did an entire cheerleading routine every single time she heard her tell the tyrant no.

By the time Valentin had given her the mission to kidnap Zoe, she had seen him defied so many times in so many ways, she’d seriously considered doing so herself for the first time in over a decade. Though her courage had ultimately failed her, escape had started to seem not just possible, but necessary once Valentin had collected the set.

Because despite what she had wanted to believe, the younger Alexandra did not resemble their mother in anything but eye color. Aware they were being monitored, and thus unable to speak freely, they'd nonetheless developed a form of communication no less powerful for all it was silent.

One day a few weeks in, while guarding Sasha as she waited for Valentin to arrive with new torments, Katie was comforted, if only for a moment, that she was no longer alone in this nightmare when Sasha surprised a laugh out of her.

Sasha had been psyching herself up for the showdown with Val by complaining loudly and with her usual plethora of colorful profanity of her disappointment in her archnemesis. Not that he wasn’t evil, just broadly drawn, she assured with astringent condescension. It was just that she had hoped for a higher caliber of villain. That’s all.

That moment, able to laugh at the man who’d made her a slave, to tear him down and see him as human and thus vulnerable, was a seed planted in her mind.

Immediately following that feeling of comfort, the gratitude at no longer being alone, was a wave of guilt stronger than any she’d felt before. No one deserved this hell, let alone anyone decent, and her sister was a fucking decent human being. In Katie’s world, decency was a rarity more precious than diamonds.

That may have been part of why she had been so astonished to feel an answering sensation of compassion from Sasha in response to that wave of guilt. Her power was concerned with perception. She had the ability to not only see herself through the eyes of others, she could also manipulate how they saw her. Neither Sasha nor Wanda used their powers on Karen because she had manipulated their perceptions so that they saw her as utterly harmless.

Katya had felt Sasha's contempt. Katie felt her kindness. Kat was going to pay the debt.

As for Zoe, she couldn’t really explain it, but Kat had had a soft spot since the day they met for the little girl who now spoke quietly inside her mind.

They'll be at this all day. Kat was fascinated by Zoe's mental voice. It was an astoundingly unusual sensation to have thoughts form inside her mind to which she felt no connection. They can't agree on an acceptable level of safety for me. Bucky has the final say while Sasha's out, but he'll argue it to death with Nat and Steve first.

How do you think it'll go? Kat was entirely uncertain as to how this worked so she tried to think more loudly in response.

Nat'll say yes. Zoe’s face was still a little swollen and stained with the tears she’d shed as Sasha lay dying, but a fierce little smile played at the corners of her mouth. Steve will say it's too dangerous. An indulgent eye roll at that. If you can convince Bucky it’s safe enough, he’ll probably let me try.

Zoe’s palm skimmed down Kat’s arm to trace the gold lines that shimmered softly under her tattoo. The phoenix was fresh, the colors vibrant, the tail feathers covering the back of the hand and curling over the webbing between thumb and forefinger to her palm. The gold lines wove through and were several degrees warmer where they rested lightly on their still lost sister. Rather than the condemnation Kat expected, Zoe’s face held open curiosity and understanding under the conspiratorial smirk. Do you really need my help, or did you just want to talk to me?

Kat stifled a laugh and pushed out a little more power to keep the others’ attention away from their silent interaction. She didn't want to admit it, but she now needed this for more reason than just the care to keep secrets safe. She needed to know that she had ultimately done more good than harm in abducting her little sister at Valentin's direction, if for no other reason than that she’d brought Zoe and Sasha together. She smiled gently. I think I need your help, but I might be able to do it myself. I also want to talk to you.

What do you need? As she asked, Zoe tilted her head to rest it lightly against Kat’s arm in a gesture of affection and support. Zoe could hear the mutter of Kat’s worry, fear, and guilt and hoped to ease whatever she could.

Kat was stunned by the simplicity of the response, the trust it took to offer so openly. Her throat tightened as both grief and gratitude tangled inside her. Though she mourned their inevitable estrangement, she was nevertheless grateful for the chance to see Zoe assured, compassionate, and unafraid.

Even more confident that Zoe would have the answers she sought, Kat rushed to ask the most important question. I need to know how far I can trust King T’challa and Princess Shuri.

Kat was not disappointed. Rather than answering immediately, Zoe seemed to mull it over before her response slowly sounded in Kat’s mind. It depends. With what?

Kat scanned those in the room to see if anyone was paying attention to them. She pushed out a little more power, determined to finish this conversation. The gold lines warmed slightly, and Zoe’s mouth spread in a conspiratorial smile as she looked up at her sister, her quick brain putting the pieces together.

Kat shrugged a little and looked sheepish. I have all the data on Morozov's vibranium project. It could help the princess heal Sasha, but it could also be used to rebuild his weapon if someone had access to enough vibranium.

Sasha trusted them with what’s left of the weapon, even the intact part. Zoe’s face had fallen into serious lines, her memory of being strapped into the ghastly machine one of her most horrific and pernicious nightmares.

Okay. Kat took in that information slowly, already feeling better about what she'd revealed to Her Highness. Judging by the speed with which Shuri worked at a table along the opposite wall, Kat had already given the scientist more than enough information. Still… But what do you think?

Zoe turned a confused and slightly concerned expression on Kat, the mutters of Kat’s worry beginning to infect her. Kat responded with the truth, not sure she knew how to sugarcoat it even if she thought she should. The chair wasn’t made only for Sasha. Me in the chair caused fear. Sasha caused pain. What do you think you could do?

Zoe’s eyes widened and Kat could tell this was the first time anyone had considered the possibility. That alone made her feel better about trusting these people with the source of her worst nightmares.

Valentin had made Katya do terrible things.

Kat watched her little sister’s gaze turn inward and grieved a little at the entirely too adult expression on the child’s face. She wondered if Sasha also felt torn between the need to shield Zoe versus the reality of her ability to do so.

Zoe’s face was set and determined when she looked back to Kat. Shuri is smart and decent. I’d trust her with it, and I’d trust the King to protect it. Kat fought the urge to laugh out loud at the look of sly amusement Zoe shot her as the next words appeared her mind. And yes, Sasha worries about that all the time.

Kat didn’t quite suppress the snort. Good to know. Especially as the princess already has the scent. As she thought the last, she tilted her head in Shuri’s direction. Zoe’s eyes followed to find the princess already had the image of something that looked like a necklace spinning in the air in front of her. It was clear she was on a roll.

Zoe turned back to Kat, her face a study in confusion. Kat shrugged. I couldn’t let Sasha die when I knew how to save her. Maddie’s attention skimmed over her skin, leaving both comfort and exhilaration in its wake. She glanced up to meet her beloved’s warm whiskey eyes. She could never distract her Mads for long. I owe her everything.

So… what are we waiting for?

Kat turned to meet her sister’s gaze once more and couldn’t help but notice a definite tendency towards recklessness. Cooler heads to prevail?

You sound like you think there are cooler heads in this room. Zoe’s expression had become downright smug in her amusement.

Kat thought about it for approximately three seconds before giving in. She recognized an iron will when she saw one as she lived with it. There was no stopping Maddie when she put her mind to something. All that could be done was to either minimize the damage or mitigate the danger. Everything she’d seen or heard of her younger sister told her she’d found another of her kind.

Keep your palm on my tattoo and put your other hand on Bucky’s arm. DO NOT let go. I’m going to both boost and buffer. The vibranium is going to shield you so you don’t get dragged under again. You’re the conduit, though, so you need to reach out and call her back.

So casually Bucky barely glanced at her as her hand made contact with his metal arm, Zoe moved to stand between where Bucky stood at Sasha’s head with his hand on her neck, and where Kat stood at Sasha’s arm, holding her hand. She moved in the ways she’d been taught to avoid drawing attention, not that she’d needed to worry. Between the intensity of the argument raging around them and Kat’s talent working at almost full power to shield them from the attention of the others, no one in the room was giving them even the least thought. How?

How did Sasha wake you after the explosion?

Zoe thought back to that moment, when she heard Sasha calling her, promising she was safe. For the first time in her life, she’d trusted wholeheartedly and had started the ascent. It had felt like swimming up through molasses, or clawing through cotton, and she’d had to sink back down and rest a few times, but she’d been willing to try because of that voice drawing her on. She called for me. I heard her and climbed out.

Same channel. Only you’re doing the calling now.

Chapter Thirty-eight here

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