#i’ll elaborate on her actual importance in the campaign some other time

[wetbed-sealand]

Yenaru! Oh I miss her so much, she was the patron for a warlock PC of mine in a pretty great Waterdeep campaign a few years back, but voicing her had a profound effect on me— she has not left my brain since. She’s a sinister, waspy, egotistical queen and I miss voicing her so bad!

I need to remake this, this is a little old by now

[veraynes-blog]

After reading your TenSimm human AU prompt, do you think you’d write a full sized fic about it? It’s such an interesting concept and your writing is so good I know you’d do it justice!

Aaw, thank you! 😊 Well, I'm definitely concentrating on finishing TLV at the moment, so for now I won't promise anything beyond that. But it is an AU I've thought about before, so you can have some further elaboration if you like:

Harold Saxon is the current Minister of Communications, but is running for PM. (He does not run a clean campaign. There’s a ruin of wrecked careers in his wake, although you wouldn’t know it for the veneer of friendly charm he wears like a second suit. At least he’s popular with the people, if not any of his own colleagues.) 

A big part of his campaign is the promise to reform education funding. He wants to flog that horse one more time before general election, hence the on-air interview he’s agreed to with some ragtag group of whining teachers. There’s certainly no way that can backfire spectacularly. 

Donna Noble is his long-suffering PA. (She started as a temp in his office, and it was only ever supposed to be filing and coffee runs. In no way did she intend to sign on to be the unofficial babysitter of a sociopath politician just because she was the only one too stubborn to flinch every time he walked into a room.) 

She’s never been particularly impressed by the whole ‘Iago with a Blackberry’ vibe he has going on, and isn’t shy about giving him shit for it. What’s he going to do? Blackmail her? She’s never done anything important enough to bother hiding. Fire her? Fine, she’s a professional temp, she’ll have something else by Tuesday. Bribe her? He’s already paying her more than she’s ever made - and way more than Neris is on, which is the most important thing. 

John Smith is a high school Science teacher. (He’s actually massively overqualified for the job. The original plan was to be a professor - he has a doctorate and everything! - but there was a bit of academic quibbling over his thesis on theoretical time-travel, since apparently his so-called peers don’t have a visionary bone in their bodies. Anyway. Turns out teenagers are far more receptive to the wonders of scientific innovation. If you catch them on a good day.) 

Clara Oswald is the English teacher at the same school, and his best friend. (Although they’d had a rocky start, initially. She’d been sceptical of his excessive qualifications and the arrogance he didn’t bother to hide, and he hadn’t liked her standoffishness. Neither of them know quite when the bickering and cheap shots turned into solidarity, but it’s a sharp-edged friendship that works for them.) 

When Minister Saxon descends on the school, intent on filming an ego-stroking interview with a selection of teachers, they’re both reluctantly pulled in to the whole affair. (It does not go as well as Minister Saxon had hoped.)

I like to imagine chaotic-irreverent-teacher-John-Smith and corrupt-manipulative-politician-Harold Saxon take a pretty instant dislike to each other, and also, quite inconveniently, fancy each other rotten. 

Maybe more than you banked on with this ask, sorry! 😅 I got a little carried away.

I’m not sure if I’ll ever sit down and write a full story for it, so if anyone else wants to play in that sandbox please feel more than free, I’d love to hear any ideas for it. 

[therealvinelle]

What would happen if Katniss was stuck in a time loop from the beginning of Mockingjay to the end ?

I’m afraid I don’t remember Mockingjay well enough to give you an especially detailed answer to this one. I forgot Prim died while writing this. I’ll try, though.

Round one

Katniss finds herself thrown back through time, and she’s just tired. She’s been so much already, Mockingjay depleted her in every sense. At the end of the book she’s broken in a very irrevocable sense of the term. She just wants to retire with Peeta and be safe and left alone for the rest of her life. Waking up in a District 13, then, to find that Peeta is captive and being tortured all over again, Coin is alive, Snow is alive, and the Rebellion is back and she’s their figurehead... on its own, this is all bad enough, and I wouldn’t be surprised if she broke down completely.

But then she sees Prim again, Prim who is alive and healthy.

Finnick, too, is alive again. He’s a mess, just as he was originally, but he’s alive.

For them, Prim above all, Katniss can’t give up.

She pulls herself together, or tries to. She’s hollowed out after the events of Mockingjay, and to go through it all again? Unimaginable.

More, how is she actually going to save these people?

Prim wants to help people, she’s not going to agree to stay out of the Capitol when the invasion comes about.

Gale hates the Capitol with every fibre of his being, he’s not going to stop making weapons because Katniss told him people will get hurt. I think even if she laid out the scenario of «say that Prim goes to the Capitol to help and your bombs fucking kill her» he’d remain resolute - that’s not gonna happen, Katniss. (And even if he silently agrees there’s the possibility, this won’t change his mind. Prim will be a casualty of war, the important thing is to defeat the Capitol.) As for Finnick, he was pure bad luck. There was nothing Katniss could have done there, save for maybe keep him home. But if she does, someone else may die in his place.

But, Katniss isn’t going to sit back and say «yup, nothing I can do to save these two people I care about. See y’all in heaven, fellas». As she goes through the motions of Mockingjay, doing the photo-ops and listening to Finnick’s interview, Katniss comes to fear that there’s just no road ahead that will lead away from Rome. All she can do is tell Prim about Gale’s bombs and plead with her not to go in when the Capitol is invaded.

It’s no surprise, not really.

The Hunger Games is not about Katniss Everdeen the brave heroine taking up the mantle of revolution, it’s about Katniss the girl becoming a game piece in someone else’s chess match. And so, her prescience won’t make as much difference as it would someone like Harry Potter or Bella Swan, as her choices simply don’t matter all that much.

This is what she’s forced to realize.

Peeta is rescued, it’s easier and harder than last time. Easier because she knows what to expect, harder because she’s seeing him suffer all over again, just as original timeline Peeta was returning to himself.

The invasion of the Capitol comes around, and Katniss is no more able to save Finnick than she was last time.

Prim refused to stay behind. Then, seeing her fellow medics rush towards bombs she knows could go off at any second, and injured people lying helplessly nearby, she runs in hoping to stop her colleagues and maybe drag someone away from the scene before it all blows.

She fails, and Katniss watches her die all over again.

The time loop doesn’t stop there.

Katniss goes to see Snow, only to go through the motions, and then shoots Coin. There’s no point to any of this if she doesn’t still shoot Coin, right?

More broken than ever, Katniss returns to District 12 with Peeta.

She just wants to rest.

Round two

A part of Katniss isn’t even surprised.

Her sister is alive again, but not for long. Katniss almost wishes they could skip to the part where Prim is dead, just so that she wouldn’t be in this horrible limbo of wanting to save her sister but not knowing how.

This time, Katniss devotes all her energy to Prim.

She neglects all her other duties and relationships, everything else that mattered. She never develops her friendship with Finnick.

She’s going to save Prim.

She tells her about the time loop, about what will happen if Prim isn’t careful. Prim listens.

This time around, Peeta isn’t rescued, and when Katniss invades the Capitol he’s the one who kills her.

Maybe Prim survives this time around. She hopes so.

(This is the timeline where Finnick survives: with Annie never rescued from the Capitol, he never became well enough to participate in a military operation.)

Round three

Katniss tells Prim about the time loop again, leaving out what happened at the end of round two. She befriends Finnick and campaigns for Peeta to be rescued. On the night of the invasion, Prim tells her teammates what she learned about the bombs before they land in the Capitol, leaving out how she found out. She’s accused of espionage and leaking military grade secrets, and shot. Her body is left in the streets, and Katniss is told the Capitol did it.

Katniss suspects what happened, and she hopes she’s right, because the other option is that her interference did this, that Prim died because of something she did.

Finnick dies, of course, which tastes all the more bitter now that Katniss knows she saved him in one timeline.

She speaks with Snow, or more to the point she walks into his room of roses and says nothing.

She shoots Coin.

Round four

She kills Coin on the first chance she gets.

She’s swiftly executed.

Round five

She waits until the night of the Capitol invasion before killing Coin.

Again, she is executed.

Round six

She makes it all the way to Snow’s office. Prim and Finnick are dead again. Peeta, too, this time around.

She tells Snow about the time loops. He seems to think she’s lost her mind, but she doesn’t care. She asks him about poisons.

Round seven

Coin dies suddenly.

Things are better in some regards, but the invasion still happens. Once again Prim and Finnick die.

Round eight

Katniss has nothing more to give.

She spends the round in her hospital room, curled up in her bed and refusing to be disturbed by anyone who isn’t Prim or Finnick.

Round nine

She has nothing more to give this time either.

She tells Finnick everything, about the time loops, the bombs, and the invasion, and asks him to try to save Prim and himself.

Finnick dies pulling Prim away from the bombs, and Prim succumbs to her injuries shortly after.

At Snow’s execution, Snow is shot.

Round ten

Katniss tells Haymitch.

They still end up in Rome, with Finnick and Prim dead, only now Haymitch is dead too.

Round eleven

Katniss for the first time starts to wonder if maybe this has all been an elaborate torture brought on by the Capitol. Or maybe her own side, who knows.

Because, really, how does she know she hasn’t been hijacked?

Katniss starts telling the people around her that she knows they’re not real, and quickly gets herself locked up in a psychiatric cell.

Round twelve

Still convinced she’s been hijacked, Katniss quickly gets herself locked up in this timeline too.

Round thirteen

Katniss poisons Finnick, Peeta, and Prim, not much, but enough to force them to stay behind when the invasion happens.

This time it works.

They’re all safely at home, and Katniss knows the invasion well enough by now that survival isn’t as hard as it once was.

She shoots Coin, then returns to them after.

This time, Peeta can’t trust her again after this. Nor, for that matter, can Prim or Finnick. They still love her, but Prim chooses to take a job in District 3 a little too easily, and Finnick quickly becomes a friend who stays in touch nominally, but never visits. Peeta moves back to District 12 with her, but they live in separate houses and the intimacy and trust between them is now gone.

Katniss, for better and for worse, is alone now but surrounded by people.

There are no more time loops.

[audreydoeskaren]

Abridged history of early 20th century Chinese womenswear (part 1: 1890s)

*Disclaimer: I mostly talk out of my bum so don’t ask me for academic sources, I would love to know where they are but I haven’t found any reliable ones. I only share my own observations so please read me for filth if I’m wrong.

*There are almost no public domain images I could use because this topic is too obscure so I have to use random images that work and link the sources.

Context

I think there’s not enough content about Chinese fashion history on Tumblr and the Internet in general so I’d like to share my personal knowledge (which is not a lot, but more than nothing). I only know about Chinese fashion history 15th century onwards, the more recent the more I know, so I’m gonna start with the early 20th century.

The 1890s were a very underrated decade in Chinese fashion history. The republican 1920s and 30s are usually credited as the beginning of modern Chinese fashion, mostly because people only consider cheongsam to be valid modern Chinese clothing, which is a bogus claim as aoqun and aoku were just as popular and actually endured longer than the cheongsam. The process of women’s emancipation and the simplification of women’s fashion had already began by the 1890s (perhaps even earlier to a smaller extent) when the monarchy was still around. By the 1900s women’s clothing in China had already been much simplified and modernized, so the 1890s acted as an important transitional period for Chinese fashion.

In order to understand early 20th century Chinese fashion we have to go back a bit into the past to have some clue about the context. Since the establishment of the Ming Dynasty in the mid 14th century Chinese women wore 袄裙 aoqun, a two piece ensemble consisting of a robe and a skirt. At first the robe had a y shaped “kimono collar” as the style is commonly known in the West, then in the late 16th century the 立领 or standing collar was invented (this was different to standing collars used in the 20th century and nowadays, I might explain this later). When the Manchus conquered China and established the Qing Dynasty in the mid 17th century, Han Chinese men adopted Manchu style clothing but Han Chinese womenswear remained independent and separate from Manchu womenswear until it started taking inspiration from Manchu fashion in terms of decoration in the late 18th/early 19th century. However, Han Chinese women retained the habit of wearing a two piece ensemble as the outermost layer, unlike Manchu women, who wore a single floor length robe.

In the second half of the 19th century, the aoqun had a very generous and roomy cut, with huge sleeves in the robe and many pleats in the skirt. The collar of the robe is very low, only providing enough space for one button, a style in fashion since the early 19th century. The robe is closed with frog closures, a braided/knotted style of button which is also somehow the closures used on European hussar uniforms? I don’t know the connection so if anyone has an idea please enlighten me. The robe closes at the side, usually at the right side, however examples of robes with closures on the left or both sides also existed. Before the 19th century, Han Chinese women’s robe sleeves were usually very long, longer than the actual arm of the wearer, but since the 19th century sleeves adopted a more practical length, which was at the wrist.

The skirt was usually of a style called 马面 mamian, a long horizontal pleated piece of fabric with four flat sections, which women wore by wrapping it around their waists twice and tying the tie strings at the waistband. This skirt became very decorative in the 19th century, full of embroidery, tassels and elaborate trim, sometimes giving the illusion of a separate apron being attached (I’ve seen this weird stereotype that traditional Chinese womenswear has a separate apron at the front this is complete bogus). The robes were likewise heavily decorated, sometimes so full of embroidery that the original fabric could hardly be seen; this was especially true of wedding dresses or other ceremonial outfits. 

Source: https://www.chinasage.info/women.htm

In addition, pants were also often worn by Chinese women and 袄裤 aoku, the combination of robe and pants, was socially acceptable.

Another noteworthy custom was bound feet, although I don’t know so much about it. The 19th century was the pinnacle of foot binding and fashionable women had incredibly small feet, dubbed “lotus feet”. Women wore baggy stockings underneath their shoes, tied up with garters below the knees. I’m not as knowledgeable about other undergarments of this period unfortunately...

Source: https://www.hpcbristol.net/visual/ch-s03

Silhouette

In the 1890s, the cut of the aoqun began to become more slender and form fitting as a result of increased westernization. The robe was quite long, usually knee length. The sleeves became slimmer and the collar grew taller, being able to accommodate three or more buttons. Pants seem to be very popular in this period, as I have probably seen more contemporary artworks depicting fashionable women wearing pants than skirts. I speculate this may be due to a rising interest in feminism and women wanting more mobility, but that’s just my opinion. The pants were still straight cut but were less roomy than earlier 19th century models. Women began campaigning against bound feet in this period and many drawings depicted women with natural feet. However, if a woman had her feet bound since childhood it’s difficult for them to return to their natural size, so some women who were born in previous decades would still have very small feet, even if they began to reject it at this time. Plain black flats were popular in this time, I have no clue if the construction is Chinese or Western if someone has any idea please enlighten me.

Source: https://www.nas.gov.sg/archivesonline/photographs/record-details/d0743ec7-1161-11e3-83d5-0050568939ad (I think this was photographed in Singapore but the fashions were accurate to mainland China of the period as well)

Design details

The 1890s saw the mass disappearing of wide, elaborate trims around the seams, popular throughout the 19th century. Trims became smaller and more toned down, sometimes being of geometric design. Embroidery on the robe and skirt/pants was rare, if it was done it was usually very small and in a diamond pattern, instead of the more freeform patterns of the previous centuries. The fabrics often had woven in, tone on tone decorations, usually tiny floral motifs or geometric shapes. A general air of simplicity and practicality dominated the fashion of this era.

I’ll post part 2 whenever I want.

[utilitycaster]

35 and 41 for the campaign 2 ask meme!

35. Vilya, both because I actually picked up on that one and like, I don't think endings should be uniformly sunshine and rainbows but Keyleth deserves that win. Also it just fit together so well with Vokodo and the leadup to the Somnovem/Astral Plane and what we knew about Vilya and it managed to make her still alive yet missing for so long without it seeming force; it was very, very satisfying and intricate storytelling and also Vilya was a great NPC.

41. oh god, first bless you for this and second, so many things but I think I'll elaborate on the one from this morning about lifespan angst because as we all know driving for 7+ hours through the Great Northeastern Megalopolis on the first major beach weekend is very fun and definitely improves your mood, and also because I think I can shoehorn in most other rants into this.

I very much love grief narratives and I think actual play is uniquely suited to explore death and grief precisely because of its randomness; I've made some vague posts about this in the past regarding Molly's death, which absolutely was abrupt and sudden and felt unfair (not mechanically, I should note, just like...the way death sometimes does in life, where you understand what happened and even kind of why and yet that doesn't actually help). I actually felt CR handled that death so thoughtfully and well both initially and over the course of the campaign that I was actively very nervous about the events of episode 140 and how that aftermath may play out. (I was then very pleasantly surprised with Taliesin's choices in 141).

The thing is, I've found I need to sort of pull away from fandom when it comes to death tropes specifically, because a lot of people are understandably uncomfortable with death. My attitude is like "hello I love this in fiction, and I get you don't like it but stop trying to make it okay or happy or even more overwrought or a blame game, just let it happen and be messy. Every day I read the TAZ quote and the Richard Siken quote and every day I'm like it would be cool if anyone actually processed what those mean".

This isn't limited to CR, I should note, nor lifespan angst within CR as indicated above; the only time Dimension 20 discourse has ever irritated me (usually it is both minimal and delightful) is in A Crown of Candy surrounding one character's death in particular. But that's another rant. I have multitudes.

Actually speaking of Keyleth above, that's maybe one of the only cases where lifespan angst actually was really good, because it was indicated to be very important to the character (and notably the character who is living a very long time), said character really did have a ridiculous lifespan, and also she was hesitant about Vax when she thought they'd "only" have 150 years together, and then they had two, and I think she deserves to feel all kinds of ways about that.

But for Campaign 2, which was very specifically left quite open, it just feels off? It's a little less off for Caleb in that Liam did bring it up, but also Essek's the one who will experience it, and he didn't seem to take issue (and I would imagine the Dynasty, and a person from a race that generally lives quite long compared to many others would probably take a different view).

And as for Fjord and Beau having shorter life expectations than Jester or Yasha, I mean...yeah, they do but also, and I know people might not love to hear this, the idea of someone outliving their partner by 20-30 years, vs. over 500, happens every day. Sometimes they remarry. Sometimes they never do. It doesn't mean it doesn't hurt, but this is just such a fundamental part of life that it isn't even fun to angst about for me because like...one of my grandmothers did outlive my grandfather by over 20 years. It feels really fucking weird to bring up a Mitch Hedberg line, that was using to justify drinking a shitload of red wine, in response to an ask meme I wrote that I'm now using to talk about the inevitability of death but he made the joke of "why eat an apple? eventually it will become a core". He also said "the first and the middle parts are amazing!"

I don't want to full-on armchair psychologize but I kind of am, which is I think people are mourning the campaign but talking about character death instead, even though the ending was very much "these people are still out here and have much to do, they have just parted ways with each other and with us, the audience, but they live on". And like, do what you need in your mourning process, but as this is pretty impossible to filter out from the tags, I am going to be grumbling on my own gotdamn blog.

Oh also if you think all of the Mighty Nein are going to get buried in the Blooming Grove, or that Caduceus and the Clays would in fact want that specifically over them instead having thoughtful and personalized plans for their funerals, you were not paying attention to the episode in which the Clays got unpetrified.

[rhosyn-du]

Never make a mess when a total catastrophe will do - Epilogue

Pairings: Jimon, past Clace, background Clizzy, a bunch of other minor background pairings Rating: Explicit Art: @cor321​ Beta: @all-thestories-aretrue​ Tags:  Alternate Universe - College/University, fake dating, oh my god they were roommates, friends with benefits, idiots to lovers, pining, miscommunication, holidays, drinking games, mistletoe, symbolically significant Oreos, domestic fluff, brief mention of past character death, Jace’s self-worth issues deserve their own tag Summary: What do you do when you find out your sister is not only dating your ex and love-of-your-high-school-life but is also bringing her home for Christmas? Bring your annoying, hot, annoyingly-hot roommate as your fake boyfriend to show them you're totally fine with it, obviously! There's no possible way this could backfire. Link: AO3 , Tumblr Master Post

Epilogue

“How is this the third store we’ve visited that’s out of cranberry sauce?”

“Because it’s eleven in the morning on Thanksgiving Day?” Maia threw Simon a look that clearly said ‘duh.’ “I’m honestly surprised we managed to snag those last two pie crusts.”

“I should never have let myself get distracted while I was doing my shopping on Monday.” He fixed Jace with a stern glare. “No more distracting me at the grocery store.”

“You were pretty into my distraction, if I recall correctly,” Jace said with a lazy grin.

“You’re laughing now, but you’ve never seen Bubbe Helen when she doesn’t get cranberries on Thanksgiving. You don’t even know.”

Jace wrapped his arms around Simon’s waist, pulling him close. “Hey, we’ll find Bubbe Helen her cranberries. We’ve still got a hundred miles left between here and New York. There’s bound to be a store along the way that still has cranberries.”

Simon relaxed in his arms with a sheepish smile. “You’re right. I’m being dumb.”

“It’s not dumb,” Jace corrected gently. “It’s tradition, and it’s important to people you love.”

“Wow, holidays make you really sappy,” Simon teased.

“You make me really sappy,” Jace corrected, reaching for Simon’s left hand. He brought it to his lips, placing a kiss on the knuckle right above his father’s ring. The same ring he’d used when he actually proposed two weeks ago, at the same table in Java Jones where they’d made their list of fake dating rules all those months ago. He’d hidden the ring under his muffin, knowing Simon would steal the last bite like he always did, and even though it wasn’t the kind of grand, romantic gesture his siblings had suggested when he asked for their help, it was theirs, and the look on Simon’s face when he said yes was really all that mattered.

“You make me pretty sappy, too,” Simon said, drawing him into a kiss.

“If you two start making out in the middle of the canned goods aisle, I’m stealing the van and going to New York without you.”

Jace pulled away from the kiss to give Maia an unimpressed look. “No one’s making you watch.”

“Yeah, but every minute I have to spend waiting for you is one I don’t get to spend with my girlfriend, who I live two-hundred miles away from and only get to see maybe once a month if I’m really lucky.”

“She does have a point,” Simon said. “Plus, Becky can be really vindictive when she wants to be, and she’s got easy access to the room we’re sleeping in tonight.”

“And the longer we stand around here, the longer other people have to buy all the cranberries at other stores,” Maia pointed out.

“Fine,” Jace relented, releasing Simon. “Let’s go find some cranberries.”

Simon took his hand, and Jace could feel the warm metal of his ring pressing into his skin.

~~~

“We have cranberries!” Maia announced as they entered the Lewis home.

“Oh, thank god,” Becky said. “Someone was starting to get a little agitated.” She raised her eyebrows and tilted her head significantly toward the kitchen.

“So, you’re only happy to see me for my cranberries, huh?” Maia teased.

“I’ve got a whole list of reasons I’m happy to see you.” Becky gave her a quick kiss, then turned to poke Simon in the ribs. “But I’m only happy to see this fool for his cranberries.”

“Hey!” Simon protested, poking her right back.

“I guess I just don’t even rate, huh?” Jace asked.

Becky turned a wide, mischievous smile on him. “Oh, no. I’m happy to see you for an entirely different reason. I want to offer you a trade.”

“Don’t do it,” Simon said. “She’s sneaky, and she will rip you off.”

“I am sneaky,” Becky agreed, “but this is totally above board.” She turned back to Jace. “I hear that you and Maia are drinking buddies.”

“I’m not sure I like where this is going,” Maia commented.

“That’s probably a pretty accurate description of our relationship, sure,” Jace agreed.

“Which means you’ve seen Maia drunk,” Becky continued. “Which means you probably have embarrassing stories about my girlfriend. Stories that I’m more than willing to trade embarrassing stories of my brother to hear.”

“See?” Simon pointed at his sister. “Sneaky.”

“Yeah, babe, I’m not sure you’ve actually thought this through,” Maia said.

“No, I have,” Becky told her with a smirk. “I’ve also thought up all kinds of ways to convince you to forgive me.”

“Please don’t elaborate,” Simon said.

“Okay,” Maia said, “but I have an even better deal for you.”

“I’m listening.”

“How about we both tell embarrassing stories about Simon and Jace over dinner.” Maia leaned in and finished in a low voice. “And then you can show me how you were planning to get me to forgive you when we get back to your place tonight.”

“Oh,” Becky said. “Yeah, that’s a much better deal.” She turned to Jace. “Sorry, got a better offer. No hard feelings?”

Jace shrugged, biting back a laugh. “I mean, I can’t really blame you.”

“Is it too late to do Thanksgiving with your family?” Simon asked Jace. “Or we could just sit in the van and eat cranberries out of the can. That’s also an option that would be preferable to this.”

“Oh good, you found the cranberries.” Bubbe Helen emerged from the kitchen, wiping her hands on a dishtowel. She walked over and pulled Simon into a hug. “I knew my grandson would come through.”

Behind her, Becky shook her head emphatically, mouthing ‘lies.’

Simon kissed his grandmother’s cheek. “It wouldn’t be Thanksgiving without cranberries.”

“That’s what I’ve been saying.” She turned a critical eye on Jace. He was pretty sure she still held a bit of a grudge over him supposedly proposing to Simon in a storage closet. “And what are your thoughts on cranberries?”

“Oh, uh.” Jace was pretty sure he’d never thought much about cranberries before this morning’s frantic search across half of New England. “I’m definitely pro-cranberry.”

“Speaking of which,” Simon interrupted, “we should get these groceries to the kitchen and get started on the pies. You’re going to love Jace’s pecan pie, Bubbe Helen. It’s the best I’ve ever had.”

“Pecan, huh?” Bubbe Helen gave Jace a considering look.

Jace nodded. “With browned butter. It’s a family recipe.” Technically, it was Alec’s recipe, but Alec was family, so he figured it counted.

Bubbe Helen nodded. “You’ll do.” Then she turned with a wide smile to greet Maia, and Jace let out a relieved sigh.

As they made their way to the kitchen, Simon bumped Jace with his shoulder and spoke in a low voice. “It’s cute that my grandmother makes you nervous.”

“It’s not cute,” Jace muttered. “She’s terrifying.”

When they arrived in the kitchen, Simon’s mother was checking the turkey.

“Another half-hour, I think,” she told them as she closed the oven door. “If you work fast, you can put the pies in as soon as the turkey comes out. I cleared some counter space where you can work over there. Do not touch anything else.

“Hi, sweetie,” she added as an afterthought, giving Simon a quick hug.

Simon returned the hug. “Hi, Mom. Pie plates still in the same place?”

“Bottom cabinet to the left of the sink,” she confirmed. “Is there anything else you two need to get started on the pies?”

“Pie plates to the left of the sink, half an hour, don’t touch anything,” Jace repeated back to her. “I think we’re good.”

“Perfect. I’m going to go toss the linens in the dryer. You boys get started on those pies, and I’ll be back to check on the turkey in,” she checked her watch, “twenty-eight minutes.”

Jace watched long enough to make sure she was out of earshot before saying, “If we’re ever crazy enough to do joint holidays, she and Maryse cannot be allowed in the kitchen at the same time.”

Simon chuckled. “Mom can be a little intense about holidays being perfect, but I think it’s just because she wants us to enjoy them.”

“I get it.” Jace knelt down to retrieve the pie plates from the cabinet. “I mean, you saw what Maryse and Alec were like just over Christmas dinner. Military campaigns are less well-orchestrated than Thanksgiving at the Lightwood house.”

“Is it weird having Thanksgiving here instead of with your own family?” Simon asked as he rolled out a pie crust.

Jace set the pie plates down next to the pastry mat. “I am having Thanksgiving with my family. I’m having it with you.”

Simon smiled without looking up from the pastry mat. “If you keep saying romantic things, I’m going to kiss you, and then we’ll never get the pies ready to go in the oven on time.”

“I wasn’t being romantic,” Jace insisted. “It’s just, it took me a long time after the Lightwoods took me in to really start thinking of them as family, to accept that they thought of me as family. I’m not sure I ever would have if it wasn’t for Alec and Iz. They taught me that family can be people you choose, not just something you’re born with.” He shrugged. “And I chose you.”

Simon looked up from the now perfectly-rolled pie crust. “That was super romantic.”

“Maybe a little,” Jace conceded. He lifted the crust into one of the pie plates and began smoothing it into the corners.

“That’s actually part of why I wanted us to do Thanksgiving here this year,” Simon said as he began rolling out the second crust. “I know you haven’t always felt like you had a family, and even though I know you do now, I wanted to show you that you get to have my family now, too.”

Jace wound his arms around Simon’s waist. “Now who’s being romantic?”

The pies were not ready to go into the oven on time.

[the-necessary-unnecessary]

Anita Asante is one of the only Black women’s footballers in England who has spoken openly and to the media about her sexuality as well as the amplified struggles she faces as a black woman within the LGBTQ+ community. Her contributions to the discussions about both lgbtphobia and racism in football and beyond have not been widely talked about, so I thought I would compile a list of quotes and interviews she has done talking about these issues. 

Woso Pride Month 2020 [Day 5/30]

On what it’s like to be a member of the LGBTQ+ community: “One of the challenges that comes with growing [LGBTQ+] visibility is that each person is very dependent on the systems that immediately surround them. If you feel that support isn't fully there for you, it's very hard to navigate."

On the process of coming out to her parents: "I expected a negative response from my immediate family, there was quite a strong religious faith there, and our African culture. I felt they would worry how everyone else in our circle would respond. When I was back from America, I was in the car with my mum going to the supermarket one day and she just outright asked me. I'd wanted it, to be honest, and I said 'yeah'. She had a hard time taking it in initially, and it took a while for us to really talk about it on a deeper level. Largely, there was silence." Back in America, her father called and said, "'your mum told me'. I was like, 'OK...' But then he quickly said, 'I'm just upset you didn't tell me first'. My dad and I have always been very close. I was so grateful. And I thought, 'yeah, why didn't I tell dad? I tell dad everything!'My mum won't mind me saying this - it was hard for her. But I think my dad made her see that the worry was ridiculous, and that there are far worse things your child could be. It was a rollercoaster and I know it's like that for a lot of people. Ultimately it brought us all closer. My brother is also gay - and out - and for both of us, having each other as an ally in the family has been very comforting.”

On the oversexualisation of players in relationships with other women: “For women, there are people for whom being in a lesbian relationship is seen as sexy or cool. Nine times out of 10, it's men who then comment and that emphasises this threat to women and their bodies. A compliment is fine but understand that these are elite athletes. Often they're getting oversexualised based on either their aesthetics or their sexuality."

On how England can learn from Sweden when it comes to tackling racism and homophobia: "they would not only bring the topic up to make it a talking point, but they would work with other entities within the community to address the issue. They have actively used sport as a tool for integration within society with players happy to share their back stories to help others feel secure and know how to deal with things themselves. We as a nation have a lot of diversity and I think we need to think on the same level as Sweden. We can definitely take some best practices from them and try to implement them over here. It was not always an elaborate thing, sometimes it was the small things like having the corner flag as a Pride flag or having the team march in Pride. Obviously we do a lot of big campaigns here around racism, but it's not just about campaigns anymore. It's also about when issues arrive - knowing the protocols and the penalties for those who go against the grain and behave inappropriately.”

On whether racism and other forms of discrimination in football have actually decreased in recent years: “Over time there’s been this assumption that racism, discrimination, all these things have vastly improved. But the reality is it really hasn’t. We have never looked at how many people voice when these things happen to them. Is it happening less? Or are people not speaking up?”

On what football needs to do to stop discrimination: “As a player I would be absolutely willing to sacrifice not having the fans or the atmosphere for however long to try and shift that culture. The only way you can do that is if you’re serious about affecting a change in culture positively. It’s not a football problem. Football highlights the problem because it’s so popular and it’s on TV, online, it’s everywhere. But it’s a society issue, a cultural issue. Football has the opportunity to find and discuss ways to deter the people who are discriminating”

On representation within women’s football: “I felt, personally, quite a lot of comfort in my teams and in my sport. It’s about people being willing to step out and represent their sexuality, their race, whatever it is, they have to feel secure and confident in that. We have to also place emphasis on allowing those environments are allowing people to be their authentic self, and be able to just share their personal stories and experiences and that’s how we’re going to be able to get those messages out there about positivity and inclusiveness so that younger generations feel like they can move through this world without fear of negativity and negative criticism just because of who they are.”

On the media’s focus about sexuality and race: It’s also important that the media doesn’t always only focus on these things that are parts of people. There are so many different parts of an individual and it’s not just their sexuality, it’s not just their race, it’s not just their education it’s a whole multitude of things. Sometimes athletes just want to be recognised as athletes.”

Finally, today Anita and Welsh rugby player Ashton Hewitt, alongside her reporter and ex-hockey player girlfriend Beth Fischer did a two hour instagram live about race and identity as well as the recent surge in the Black Lives Matter movement. I would recommend watching it all as it has been uploaded onto Neetz’s ig page (Part 1 Part 2). I’ll leave you with a few short quotes though: “violence is what brought us change and decades of unrest are now coming to the forefront”, “this is not just about the criminal justice system, every single institution in the country needs reform as systematic problems require systematic solutions”. I also found it abysmal that FIFA and UEFA came out with a statement saying players would not be fined for taking a stand, as before they would have been due to the “manifestoes of not mixing politics and sport” 

[julia-drusilla-xii]

Okay so, @haec-est-fides​ and @fizzkiz​ wanted to know more about my OCs. I was going to put them all on one post, but then I got too carried away with writing just one of them 😂

If everyone wants to hear the rest of them, I’ll make more posts. There’s also a drawing at the very end <3

Aeliana Maxima Novius

Sixth-generation legacy of Melpomene, Muse of Tragedy.

She has two first names. Her first name starts with A because her mother’s name started with an A. And her second first name starts with M because her father’s name started with an M. 

 Has a middle name, but never really mentions it because...why let everyone know her full name??

And her middle name is her mother’s maiden name and no one can ever pronounce it correctly so she decided that it was better to never let anyone know at all, after letting a few people know.

And she’s biracial, her mother is a mortal from the Philippines. 

After her father served his time in the legion, he left to live in San Francisco because he wanted to see what it’s like living outside of the place where he grew up. Besides, he knew legacies weren’t likely to be sniffed up by the monsters. He figured that as a legacy and trained legionnaire, he could take care of himself just fine.

Her parents met at a library. Her mom, at the time, wanted to write but had writer’s block. And her dad just liked reading. The legion was nice and all, but being in the city at least meant he didn’t have to worry about his usual duties.

When raising Aeliana, her parents tended to speak to her in a mixture of English and their language. Meaning her father spoke to her in either Latin or English or having a little of both in a sentence. And her mother spoke to her in either Tagalog or English or had a little of both in a sentence. Since they mainly spoke English, Aeliana ended up learning to speak, write, and understand English. 

She understood her parents’ other languages perfectly but never learned to actually speak either.

Mainly because going to school in San Francisco, she learned that everyone only ever spoke English.

And decided it wasn’t worth learning to speak something she’d never use.

Especially when she found out Latin was a dead language.

When she finally did go to Camp Jupiter and had to be taught Latin, it usually ended up with her mind going through the following moods: “Wait I know this.” “No, I don’t know this.” “Shit, what’s the word in Latin??” “I know this word in Tagalog but what is it in Latin-” 

The above does not have to be in that order or all at once, take your pick.

It takes a while for her to be fluent in the language, but she’s determined, because she hated not knowing the Latin side conversations in the legion.

Started going to Camp Jupiter at eleven years old, currently eighteen years.

A member of the First Cohort.

Being raised as a Roman by her father, she already disliked the Greeks, but she was mostly indifferent because for the most part she never met them.

And because she knew what it was like for people to assume things about you, she voted to not really gain an opinion until she met them. 

 Absolutely loathed for a while the moment they set fire to New Rome. (When Leo, unintentionally, launched the Argo II’s weapons in the Mark of Athena.)

She eventually calmed herself down, since the Greeks that came to camp didn’t seem that bad.

Octavian made it difficult for her to see the other point of view.

What made it easier was knowing that Octavian always hated the Greeks so she brushed it off as his bias.

If anything else, she was still wary of the Greeks.

Octavian’s been a thorn in her side for years actually.

Mainly because she was ambitious.

She had her own agenda for power and would’ve gone for Praetorship if it weren’t for how he found blackmail against her.

That never stopped her for at least campaigning for a spot in the Senate, the moment she became a Centurion.

She’s known of the Triumvirate since the war against the Titans, through a complicated series of events. (I’d elaborate, but she’s mostly my ToA OC)

When she was invited to come aboard Caligula’s yachts, was absolutely shocked by the pure amount of boats.

Immediately began to wonder what was in each and every one of them.

Definitely in awe of the display of wealth, even if she was wary of the water.

Admired how much power the Triumvirate had.

And so, when she was granted an opportunity to work for them, she took her first opportunity. (Happened during the war against the Titans.)

Her plan consisted of leeching off the Triumvirate’s resources in the most subtle ways possible. She didn’t exactly approve of everything they did, but she never showed it because she was worried about the consequences.

When Apollo was missing and connections started dying down, that’s when she knew something was going to happen.

By this point, she’s been in two wars. And has been eyeing for chances for power since the beginning.

If there were one thing she’d know, then that would be spying events ripe for a tragedy.

Especially when she heard, via the Triumvirate, that Apollo was now a mortal named Lester.

Apollo was part of the main twelve Olympians. Someone that important would figure out a way to gain back his own immortality with help.

Regardless of her little information, she knew Apollo still had a good chance of becoming immortal once more, the moment he had a demigod on his side.

She had seen Jason Grace, a demigod, defeat a Titan with his own hands.

But she did know that equally meant that demigods, as always, would suffer a blow and tragedy would at least befall on them, even if Apollo did gain back his immortality.

She continued to wait, deciding to let more events fall into place until there was a clear winner, but getting more involved with Caligula’s portion of the Triumvirate.

If Apollo were to succeed, then she decided to take advantage of Caligula’s defeat in hopes of taking over the power vacuum.

If Apollo were to fail, then she hoped that she could be on the emperor’s good side and possibly at least get a high position of power.

Preferably not too close to him, knowing that Caligula naturally was wary of those around him. One wrong step and she would be done for.

Every interaction with Caligula was spent with her being eternally grateful that she had a way with words and was smart enough to know how to navigate around him.

She gained a regular habit of offering sacrifices as thanks to Melpomene because of that actually.

She doubted that Melpomene actually intervened, but that still never stopped her from being thankful to her anyways.

On more unrelated notes, she has a good singing voice, she just doesn’t like to sing that much.

Vibes with most genres of music, so long as she likes the lyrics and the beat. 

When she was younger, she used to be jealous of how she didn’t get any fancy flashy powers like the demigods.

Loves listening to gossip. It’s her source of entertainment. And while you never see her be the person directly spreading rumors, she has started some.

Finds the Lares both entertaining and annoying.

Spends most of her free time wandering around either Camp Jupiter or New Rome.

The first time she had a meal in camp, she was extremely surprised to see adobo on the plate.

Like...she could see the wind spirits somehow bringing the food they liked, but that still completely shocked her.

She still believed her mother’s adobo was better.

Speaking of which, she always loved it when her mother’s side of the family sent snacks. Especially polvorón. The problem was they didn’t send stuff often.

Sure American brand names are great, but she did love 

She’s more a planner with ambitions and isn’t really good in things relating to math or science.

She did always love history and learning about the history of other places in the world.

And she’s obviously proud of her own history, because of her parents.

[devourer--of--books]

I’m mad about Hunter being written off and here’s why you should be too

You: wasted potential.

Me, an intellectual: ah, Hunter and Nicola’s friendship

I have strong opinions about Hunter.

Yeah, you heard me right.

Look, I have strong opinions about many, many, things. Today, we are taking a dive on Hunter and Nicola. First I’d like to blame this post on Kate, as I decided to make it after I tried to articulate why Hunter being written off TCY makes me so angry in a huge comment under her latest OTK post but it ended up being too big and messy so I deleted it. I don’t think I’ve seen anyone elaborate on it, so if you were also mad about this, bro, not to be intense, but like, are we soulmates or...??

Before anything else, as I usually do with my text posts (which I haven’t done in a while, opsies), I shall provide you with arguably unnecessary context. Sit down, grab yourself some snacks, make yourself at home, I’m about to rant you into oblivion.

Since I know many accounts weren’t around back then, I’ll also give you the socio-political vibes of the time period, as any self-respecting half-baked essay written last minute should.

POV, you’re 14/15 year-old me. You flat iron your hair, you don’t use sunscreen, you think you’re straight and your school makes you wear those horrid low rise uniform pants, but at least you can somewhat do your make-up decently now that you grew out of your emo phase.

The year was 2016. The Ever Never Handbook has just come out. You re-watch the handbook trailer on youtube for the fifteenth time. Everyone is losing their minds over OcTObeR 14tH and “a student named Agatha ~ now Agatha of Camelot~”, as well as the portraits and the teasing for a new SGE book. Quests For Glory is announced just a few days later. 2016 tagatha ship week happens a few months down the line. 

This is the SGE Tumblr Fandom Peak.

Now, let’s start right there, two-ish weeks after the release of the Handbook, right as the QFG announcement comes out.

We all knew Soman wasn’t done with SGE after TLEA. He definitely had been teasing something in his weekly blogs (lol, remember when I used to check the blog, what a time to be alive) and once we got the ENH, we got quite lot of info to theorize. Here’s some that I can think off the top of my head: 

- The coven was going on a mission to find a new School Master.

- Tedros and Agatha were struggling financially in Camelot but were going to get married soon (even if Sophie doubted Tedros would have asked Agatha yet, as of the time of the Ever Never RoundTable, but we’re taking that with a grain of salt, because she was written to sound jealous here, and I won’t acknowledge that kinda of bs, she is happy for her friends okay, we’ve been though this-)

- Sophie had completely remodeled the School For Evil and was getting on Dovey and the rest of the faculty’s nerves (except for newly hired history teacher, Hort).

- The rest of the supporting cast had just graduated third year and was to be off in quests soon.

- The School was now accepting applications, and two of those applicants are Nicola and Bogden.

Now, I’m not even gonna bring up how it was mentioned in a video in EverNeverTv that Bogden would be an important character in TCY, and yet, I can’t think of anything relevant about him other than the fact that he knew tarot apparently, or how his application had more personality than him in the entire series, or how he was basically there so we could look at him and Willam and be like “oh, representation”, or how he’d be a good insight on how Galvadon perceives Sophie and Agatha post-TLEA, or- I’m just not gonna.

Oh, no. Instead, we are here to discuss Nicola’s application.

If your memory is foggy, let me remind you:

Nicola’s application is submitted, according to the Handbook, by her friend, Hunter. For convenience sake, we’ll assume Hunter is a guy (I’ll tell you why Hunter being a guy works better for me in a bit), but his gender is not mentioned anywhere in the ENH. I don’t think he has been gendered in any version (correct me if I’m wrong) or if there are any pronouns for him during TCY, but I’m fairly confident he isn’t mentioned at all.

Hunter tells us he is applying on Nic’s behalf, as she’d never apply for herself. He mentions that she is more or less the Galvadon equivalent of an activist for women’s rights, founding a rugby unisex team and campaigning for pants instead of skirts for the local school uniform, as well as having a feminist sounding book as her favorite book. It’s heavily implied that she is a jock, as he lists that, if marooned on a desert island, Nicola would want to have a soccer ball, a hockey stick and a set of dumbbells (“and none of this 5-lb nonsense”) with her.

Upon asked why Nicola should go to the school, his answer is: “because there’s a greater place for her in the world, where she can learn a girl’s true worth, and I don’t think it’s here.”

Then you have a note from (*rolls eyes* *suppresses a gag* *tears hair out*) the very late, long, long gone, absolutely dead, August Sader, telling the Deans to accept her application, despite having no reason to do so, as Nicola was to “play a crucial role in it’s [the school’s] survival.” Dovey and Sophie agree to flip a coin to decide which school will take her, which Sophie must have lost, as Nicola is accepted into the School For Evil.

By now, I think we all agree that Nicola was done dirty. If you check my QFG re-read you’ll notice that I complained about her there. As I had to go though her introduction chapter again to make this post, let me tell you why: Nicola wasn’t written to be likeable.

She simply wasn’t. That’s the one conclusion I can draw. Whether that’s intentional or not, I can’t tell, but the backlash she received was fairly useful, as it meant Soman could write her off the main story without much backlash from his target audience (aka, not us, pesky pretentious older readers).

The Nicola I was introduced to, not only in the Handbook but on her trailer for QFG was not the girl on QFG. 

Nic is there to be the smart  girl™, and while I do appreciate having a character who is a bit cocky about their brains, it just doesn’t work well there. Because her bond to other characters and the way she earns their respect feels so weak, she just comes across as pretentious. Characters like Hester and Agatha, who are supposed to be smart, feel dumbed down to show us how clever Nicola is. Agatha is supposed to be the resourceful thinker and Hester wanted to be class captain, you bet she studied like crazy, she probs knows every fairytale in existence. 

Then you add that to the (*rolls eyes* *suppresses a gag* *tears hair out*) Nicola and Hort fiasco and Nic feels like a weirdly written OC insert.

Handbook!Nicola sounded like a smart jock kind of character (read, more Gryffindor than Ravenclaw). Handbook!Nic was a Reader who read the tales as a hobby, but her favorite book is not a tale, it’s a non-fiction book (as far as I can tell). She might not be the fairytale expert, but she sounds like a practical thinker, as sport requires strategy, which is not Hester’s strong suit, given she is rather impulsive, or Agatha’s, given she is often unwilling to make hard decisions due to her Good nature and her own insecurities. C’mon, Handbook!Nic would have taken one look at Hort and sent him running to hills, because she would be able to smell his bs three miles away. She’s no one’s replacement, least of all Sophie’s (whom she probably would not have gotten along with (at least they got this part right) given Sophie’s “my prince will sweep me away from an ordinary life” phylosophy). To be honest she doesn’t sound like she’d be interested in dating at all.

But this post is about Hunter right? Let me remind you, Hunter is not mentioned in Nicola’s introduction, when she talks about her life in Galvadon. Canon!Nicola tells us that she has two brothers who want to inherit her father’s pub in order to sell the place, but Nicola is close with her father and likes working there to some extent, even if she has bigger ambitions. She believes her brothers sent her application as a way to get rid of her.

Back when I still had some faith that Soman had an arc for Nicola that included resolution, I had my theories as to why she wouldn’t mention Hunter: maybe he was to appear in later books and they’d have a huge backstory explaining their friendship, as well as a dramatic confession that Hunter sent her application because he felt Nicola deserved to live an adventure, and Nicola would either realize that she was meant for something more or that she wanted to live a quiet life, honestly either would be nice. I would have taken anything. Truly, if Nicola’s k-pop boyfriend in the OTK epilogue had been replaced with Hunter, I might be able to hate it less.

Especially if they came to the (*rolls eyes* *suppresses a gag* *tears hair out*) school wedding as friends. Because you know what?

We are starved for male-female friendships in the SGE universe.

Tedros’s only female friends (all his friends in general) are Agatha’s friends (who all tried to get rid of him at some point, save for maybe Dot) and his actual friends are all dead (Bettina/Chaddick). Hort could be counted as Agatha’s friend, if only he didn’t bash her every five seconds like a moron (he literally pitched the idea that Agatha should be executed by Tedros in OTK, just because he was envious or her relationship with Sophie (not jealous, envious, because Sophie wasn’t his to begin with)) over his delusional sense entitlement of Sophie’s affections (which I hate, but as this is not a Hort-bashing post, I won’t get too much into), but the coven, Beatrix, Renna and co. would not touch him with a stick. Merlin’s friendship with Lady Of The Lake is gone, and Dovey is dead. Rhian and Kei both had that frenemies thing with Sophie in ACOT/beggining of OTK, but I think it was supposed to be romantic? It wasn’t ew (I hate Rhian but he’s also wasted potential, and so was Kei, whom I liked, rest in peace). Japeth hates women for??? Whatever. Willam and Bodgen are such background characters I could not care less about them. The new students weren’t memorable enough for me to remember their names. I think this about covers the main male cast.

There’s a lack of male friendships too, but we kinda have (*rolls eyes* *suppresses a gag* *tears hair out*) Tort and whatever was that rushed Tedros/Chaddick friendship.  Rhian and Kei were gay friends (yeah, right, sure, very platonic). Tedros and Rhian could have been friends if Rhian redeemed himself, but otherwise no. Tedros and Filip… gay. Japeth literally killed Rhian, so also not very good friendship between brothers. Hort has no friends, because Ravan would so not be here for his bs. Willam and Bogden are a couple and (*rolls eyes* *suppresses a gag* *tears hair out*) so were Aric and Japeth, I guess.

Still don’t believe Hunter was wasted potential? Okay, let me tell you what my ideal Nicola arc would be, mixing Handbook!Nicola with some canon!Nicola and including Hunter.

- Nicola is the one inheriting the pub (once she gets married), despite Galvadon’s pre-TLEA sexism and conservative views, because she is her father’s only child and her brothers are actually her older half-siblings from her mother’s previous marriage.

- Her mom died at some point early in her childhood. Not a childbirth tho, because Callis, local witch gynecologist (have you checked my post on this yet? no? you should) was there for her, even if it was a high risk pregnancy because the mom was already older.

- Because of that, Nicola’s father actually sells bread to Callis for cheaper prizes, but don’t tell the elders, shhh

- Anyway, because her mom was gone so early, Nicola was raised by her dad, brothers and by the employees (mostly men, as I don’t think it was all that common for women to work jobs in Galvadon) of her father’s pub. Due to being a girl, most guys weren’t willing to befriend her (sexism, am I right), but because she was a tomboy she had difficulty bonding with the other girls at school, even when they weren’t outright hostile (cof cof Sophie). 

- Example: she and Belle had a tentative bond over their love of cooking, but often ran out of things to talk about and the conversation fell flat.

- Which is how she ends up befriending Hunter. 

- Hunter is the only boy in a family of many girls and his father works all day. He has a good heart and is rather emotional, but he always feels like he has something to prove, which leads him to being rather impulsive. Both Nicola and Hunter love sports and are very competitive people. Once Nicola gains his respect, he feels very protective of her and often feels the need to stand up for her, even if she doesn’t need it.

- Nicola knows Hunter feels overlooked in his family, so she is always inviting him over and taking care of him, keeping him out of trouble. Her father begins to see him as his own son, and soon he spends more time at Nicola’s house than at his own.

- Everyone thinks they’ll get married some day. His sisters tease him mercilessly about it, and so does Nic’s father, but frankly, Nic and Hunter see each other as family.

- You can bet Hunter is the one teaching Nic about periods after asking his sisters, so she wouldn’t have to suffer with Galvadon’s horrid Sex Ed. (go check the Callis headcanon’s okay, give me clout, that it my favorite post I’ve ever made)

- They tried to kiss once. Nicola vomited and Hunter gaged.

- Hunter is Nicola’s number one supporter and fan, 100% had those gender-equality pins she made for her campaigns all over his bags and jackets.

- Since most wedding matches are arranged by the elders before girls even graduate, it was settled that Nic and Hunter would get married to each other and then inherit the pub. It would of course, be a secretly platonic match and they would suspiciously have no children (Nicola even had a plan to visit Callis to get a potion for infertility, just in case the elders wanted to check on her... okay, I’ll stop).

- Hunter doesn’t tell her, but Nicola knows he wants to marry for love and have a family of his own. She tries to talk him out of marrying her, but he insists that he would be doing it out of love for her, even if not romantic, because Nic didn’t deserve to be matched up with some stranger she barely knows who would no doubt be less tolerant of her more radical views.

- She tells him it’d be fine for him to have a affairs then, but he insists he would never do that to her, because people would talk about Nic if that was the case and her reputation would be ruined.

- The night of Sophie and Agatha kidnapping Nicola tells him she would rather be taken to the School than to stay there and make him live an unhappy life.

- Hunter is horrified (remember, everyone thought going to the school was a fate worse than death) and makes her promise to never treat her life so fickly.

- Sophie and Agatha get taken, come back, but during Tedros’ reign of terror in Galvadon, right before they return to the Woods, Nicola’s father grows very very sick.

- Nic thinks he’s going to die, and she frets, not only because they’re close but also because she can’t inherit the place if she doesn’t marry Hunter. But, well, she sort of always knew, but now that feels very real, she thought she had some more time before that.

- They set a date for the wedding, but thankfully, Tedros and Agatha’s escape ends up causing the ceremony to be delayed.

- By the time the new date is set, there’s no more elders and Stefan is now mayor.

- But just because he is the mayor doesn’t mean the law and the sexism is gone overnight.

- Nic’s father is getting somewhat better, but she is still very worried about him, because of his old age.

- Once SGE starts having applications and has been proved to be, well, somewhat safe, Hunter suggests that Nicola applies, but after the scare that she might lose her father sooner rather than later, she tells him she can’t bring herself to leave him.

- Hunter doesn’t want her to throw her life away, specially now knowing that in the Endless Woods there were people like her and that progress would get there before it ever got to Galvadon 

- (He also wants to not marry someone he views as a sister, pls).

- So he files her application in secret.

- Nicola gets accepted, upon Sader’s request and Sophie’s bad luck, into the School For Evil. She and Sophie still don’t get along, the Evil castle rejects her and she gets pushed to Good, becoming an Ever, but she’s only staying until Christmas, because she is worried sick about her father.

- She thinks the application was a plot from her brothers because she doesnt think Hunter would ever betray her trust like that, after she specifically told him she wouldn't go.

- There’s no Hicola, instead, she and Hort become friends and she talks him out of his delusions with Sophie, because as much as Nicola dislikes her, Sophie was a girl too, and deserved to have her feelings respected. 

- She also punches Hort into giving up his envy of Tedros and Agatha while at it, because she is just that efficient.

- Everything else up to OTK can be pretty much the same because I can’t remember what happens, other than everytime Nicola is smart girl™, it’s not “because she reads”, but because she is practical. 

- Example: on the boat scene where she very pretentiously sasses Agatha for not saying hello to her (canon!Nicola, girl, she just suffered six months of loneliness at Camelot because Tedros shut her out and is now on a quest to save her happy ending, probs didn’t get much sleep, maybe cut her some slack) and then tells her how to sail a boat (despite the fact that there are no boats in Galvadon and I’m sure you can’t just read Peter Pan and learn to sail a boat, unless I did it wrong or something, maybe the storian version comes with a crash course). Here, instead, Nicola presses Hort (who is a pirate’s son) to remember literally anything to help them (therefore making him not completely useless on this quest), and he does and they tell Agatha and she’s like sure and does it.

- Now, in OTK, I literally can’t remember where Nicola was for most of it and I read that book not too long ago, so I’m worried. 

- Okay, so, have the Knights Of Eleven actually serve some purpose, include a scene where Tedros and Nicola stress-play rugby and get her some internal conflict.

- Nic now loves this world. She just spent the last few weeks fighting to protect it. She is now a Knight, and she loves the adventures and the new friends she made. Can she really go back to Gavaldon to take care of a pub? Well, she needs to, doesn’t she? That’s what a good daughter would do.

- After Japeth’s execution, Nic goes straight home.

- Her father’s condition is stable, as he is being treated by Hunter and his new wife.

- Oh boy, Hunter has some explaining to do.

- Nicola is furious that he broke her trust, but at the same time, she’s happy he’s happy and well, Hunter what do you have to say for yourself?

- “Damn, Nic, nice armour- ouch, my arm!”

- Apparently, since Nicola was taken, Stefan approved a law for people to be able to leave their inheritance to whomever they wanted. And since Nic was gonna be at the Woods, her father was more than happy to leave it to Hunter. Of course, unless Nicola wanted to stay at Gavaldon. 

- Does she? She’s not sure.

- Hunter and Nicola attend the tagatha wedding at Camelot (what, like I wasn’t gonna fix this part?), Hunter is Nic’s plus one.

- There, Hester, Anadil and Dot show her Sader’s note, and ask her, not to become School Master, but to become Dean Of Good, because she would be perfect for the new brand of Good to match Sophie’s Evil. You know, since she is all for gender-equality, good manners, practicality and was particularly good at dealing with Sophie’s bs.

- Since Tedros has the Storian Ring, the pen doesn’t need actual protection, well, not more than it can get from Nic and Sophie.

- Sophie herself insists that Nicola accept the position, not because she doesn’t want to be alone at the school now that Hort and Dovey are dead, no, of course not, since when did Sophie ever need anyone, she was just asking cause… cause Nicola looked lonely. The pretty boy who came with her was not her boyfriend, was he? Sophie was prettier than him anyway. Who needs a boy when they can have her?

- Whether they become a couple or not, I’ll let you decide.

- Bonus: years later, Hunter’s eldest daughter is accepted at the School for Good. Nicola is her godmother, and her favoritism shows.

There, if nothing else, the reason you should be mad about Hunter and the Handbook in general is because this didn’t happen.

[46ten]

AH: marriage and military service should not mix

The summary of this post: A lot of historians have noted how important AH’s marriage to EH was to his future, a true before and after marker in his life. But the strangeness of it has gotten less attention - AH married while the war was going on, and even wrote of not hanging around the army at all in order to setup for his life with his new wife. Once one sees the oddity of that, a lot of other things fall into place in his 1780/81 letters.  

For the past few years, I’ve wanted to work more on the theory that although marriage was generally expected of the 18th century Anglo-American colonial man (see prior posts here and here), the elite in AH’s circle did not marry until their military obligations and other duties were complete. From their examples and a few phrases here and there, getting married seemed to have been frowned upon, perhaps because of the uncomfortable examples of general’s wives and this idea that romantic love with a woman was a weakness that interfered with duty and hindered one’s commitment to military glory. (I am familiar with the challenges faced by Martha Washington, Catharine Greene, and Lucy Knox; Philip Schuyler refused a return to military assignment and presidency of the Continental Congress after the death of a newborn, among other things, in 1778). AH is an exception among his circle, with Meade, in getting married during the war itself - nearly everyone else who is unmarried waits until after their military service is complete (and sometimes well after) to marry. Not enough is made of the oddity of his courtship and marriage, within his circle, while the war is ongoing.

Now to modern thought, the title of this post makes a lot of sense - relationships are often strained when one partner is in military service, and the hows and whys are very familiar to us. But for the 18th century, when adult manhood was tied to matrimony, avoiding matrimony seems odd, as does the length of some of the courtships of AH’s friends: two years for William Jackson, about the same for Tilghman, four years of flirtation for McHenry. At a time when engagements lasted a matter of weeks (and AH notes that his own is unusually long - it’s lasting “an age” in one of his letters to ES), the delay in taking the next step is notable. Even in the prior generation, although Philip Schuyler was sexually intimate with Catharine Van Rensselaer, he continued his military service and did not marry her until it became unavoidable by decency standards (CVR was 4 months pregnant). 

So what’s with AH and ES wanting to get married in such a hurry, comparatively, besides the obvious emotional ones? Maybe he really was 26-27 years old and time was running out! Another obvious possibility, noted then and noted by biographers since, was the benefits of their marriage on a personal and political dynastic level. @aswithasunbeam has noted a contemporary article (sourced from Mitchell) about what Philip Schuyler had to gain through the new attachment between himself and Washington’s aide-de-camp. (And look how quickly P. Schuyler had AH working to get GW to visit them.) The advantages for AH were obvious to, as the Marquis de Fleury stated outright to AH: “ I congratulate you heartyly on that conquest; for many Reasons: the first that you will get all that familly’s interest, & that a man of your abilities wants a Little influence to do good to his country. The second that you, will be in a very easy situation, & happin’s is not to be found without a Large estate.”

I also suspect part of AH’s decision to hurriedly marry was tied to getting a command and spending the rest of his time studying the law.* I agree with most biographers that he never takes the steps of leaving Washington’s family and asking for (Nov 1780) and then demanding (June 1781) a command without being Philip Schuyler’s son-in-law. (I also think the break with GW doesn’t happen without AH feeling VERY confident in his relationship with his new wife. EH should have been a better patriot - as in other times - and seemed less happy in her marriage, or at least not let AH read her letter to her sister.) I think that’s what Laurens knew while on parole in Phil. and causes the minor flurry of letters in late August/September 1780, when P. Schuyler was briefly at HQ and then sending lots of letters about Congress to GW, AH was going on about his planned six month leave, McHenry was writing a love poem about AH and ES and trying to get AH to get P. Schuyler’s help in getting him a command, etc . AH and ES likely intended to marry in October/early November, but both Meade and Harrison took leave instead, and AH had to stay, though he would leave in late November before their return (in fact, Harrison and Meade never returned.)

Take Laurens (left wife and daughter he’d never see in England) and Lafayette (absent from France from March 1777 to Feb 1779 and March 1780 to early 1782). Both of them left wife and child(ren) behind, and here AH was planning a long absence from military service and telling his fiancee that he’ll leave it entirely if that’s her wish. AND Meade is discussing doing exactly that! [So Laurens presumably wrote to AH - we don’t have that letter - that he hopes AH will get over this quickly, and AH wrote back that he won’t, but I’m getting ahead of myself.]

I offered to make a comparison of AH’s letters to Laurens vs Elizabeth Schuyler - while revealing of personal feelings, in content and expression they are more different than they are similar - but I think I first need to set up that major transition that’s occurring in AH’s life in 1780/81. To the extent Laurens may have objected to AH’s excitement about ES and their impending nuptials (and there’s only one phrase in one letter, and that from AH to Laurens, from which it can be interpreted that those were Laurens’ feelings), and AH felt embarrassed about conveying the news of his engagement, it was because it interfered with a (believed to be mutual) sense of military obligation and public duty and dismissal of marriage and its attendant obligations. I touch on it in a response here; I’ll try to elaborate on it in upcoming posts. [I will get into why this makes the most sense, and why claims of AH trying to spare any romantic feelings JL may have felt, quite frankly, do not make sense in a later post. Spoiler: AH wrote absurdly callous stuff re ES and his relationship with her in his letters to JL if he was hoping to spare JL’s feelings.]

I already put some of my thoughts on this in old posts that may have some helpful content and may spare me having to repeat myself too much, and then I’ll also provide some quotes from letters to get started, limited to 1777-1782 and then probably the most famous quote from 1799. 

Hamilton on marriage part 1 (overview)

Hamilton on marriage part 2 (feelings on marriage 1777-early 1780)

Hamilton-Schuyler engagement (early 1780-mid 1780)

Hamilton on marriage part 3 (my breakdown of the July-Oct 1780 letters to ES)

Hamilton on marriage part 4

Reynolds Pamphlet, part 2

And a post (not my own) about how much AH’s military involvement as Inspector General was affecting his family financially. 

Letter quotes [my emphases]: 

You and I, as well as our neighbours, are deeply interested to pray for victory, and its necessary attendant peace; as, among other good effects, they would remove those obstacles, which now lie in the way of that most delectable thing, called matrimony;—a state, which, with a kind of magnetic force, attracts every breast to it, in which sensibility has a place, in spite of the resistance it encounters in the dull admonitions of prudence, which is so prudish and perverse a dame, as to be at perpetual variance with it. AH to Catharine “Kitty” Livingston 11Apr1777

Do I want a wife? No—I have plagues enough without desiring to add to the number that greatest of all; and if I were silly enough to do it, I should take care how I employ a proxy. AH to John Laurens 1779 [likely from mid-April up to July - this letter is actually undated, and the April date is based on other mentions in the letter; both JCH and Lodge dated it December 1779]

The most determined adversaries of Hymen can find in [ES] no pretext for their hostility, and there are several of my friends, philosophers who railed at love as a weakness, men of the world who laughed at it as a phantasie, whom she has presumptuously and daringly compelled to acknowlege its power and surrender at discretion. I can the better assert the truth of this, as I am myself of the number. She has had the address to overset all the wise resolutions I had been framing for more than four years past, and from a rational sort of being and a professed contemner of Cupid has in a trice metamorphosed me into the veriest inamorato you perhaps ever saw. AH to Margarita Schuyler, Feb1780

I would add to this by way of consolation, or rather of countinance, that the family since your departure have given hourly proofs of a growing weakness. Example I verily believe is infectious. For such a predominancy is beauty establishing over their hearts, that should things continue to wear as sweet an aspect as they are now beheld in, I shall be the only person left, of the whole household, to support the dignity of human nature. But in good earnest, God bless both you, and your weakness, and preserve me your sincere friend James McHenry to AH, 18March1780 [this was during the time of AH’s courtship of ES]

Here we are my love in a house of great hospitality—in a country of plenty—a buxom girl under the same roof—pleasing ⟨expect⟩ations of a successful campaign—and every thing to make a soldier happy, who is not in love and absent from his mistress. ... Assure yourself my love that you are seldom a moment absent from my mind, that I think of you constantly and talk of you frequently, I am never happier than when I can engage Meade in some solitary walk to join me in reciprocating the praises of his widow and my betsey. AH to ES, 6July1780  

I hope for a decisive campaign. No one will desire it more than me; for a military life is now grown insupportable to me because it keeps me from all my soul holds dear. Adieu My love. Write to me often I entreat you, and do not suffer any part of my treasure, your sweet love, to be lost or stolen from me. AH to ES, 20Jul1780

Impatiently My Dearest have I been expecting the return of your father to bring me a letter from my charmer with the answers you have been good enough to promise me to the little questions asked in mine by him. ... Meade2 just comes in and interrupts me by sending his love to you. He tells you he has written a long letter to his widow asking her opinion of the propriety of quitting the service; and that if she does not disapprove it, he will certainly take his final leave after the campaign. You see what a fine opportunity she has to be enrolled in the catalogue of heroines, and I dare say she will set you an example of fortitude and patriotism. I know too you have so much of the Portia in you, that you will not be out done in this line by any of your sex, and that if you saw me inclined to quit the service of your country, you would dissuade me from it. I have promised you, you recollect, to conform to your wishes, and I persist in this intention. It remains with you to show whether you are a Roman or an American wife. AH to ES, Aug1780

But now my love to speak of the practicability of complying with both our wishes in this article—There is none, I am obliged to sacrifice my inclination to ⟨my public⟩ ch⟨aracter.⟩ Even though my presence shou⟨ld n⟩ot be essential here, yet my love I could not with decency or honor leave the army during the campaign. This is a military prejudice which while I am in a military station I must comply with. No person has been more severe than I have been in condemning other officers for deviating from it. I have admitted no excuse as sufficient, and I must not now evince to the army, that the moment my circumstances have changed, my maxims have changed also. This would be an inconsistency, and my Betsey would not have me guilty of an inconsistency. Besides this my Betsey, The General is peculiarly averse to the practice in question. If this campaign is to end my military services, ’tis an additional reason for a constant and punctual attendance, if it is not my leaving the army during the campaign would make it less proper to be away all the winter ’till late in the spring. In one case, my honor bids me stay, in the other my love. AH to ES, 31Aug1780

Pardon me my love for talking politics to you. What have we to do with any thing but love? Go the world as it will, in each others arms we cannot but be happy. ...I was once determined to let my existence and American liberty end together. My Betsey has given me a motive to outlive my pride, I had almost said my honor; but America must not be witness to my disgrace. AH to ES, 6Sept1780

I have told you, and I told you truly that I love you too much. You engross my thoughts too intirely to allow me to think of any thing else—you not only employ my mind all day; but you intrude upon my sleep. I meet you in every dream—and when I wake I cannot close my eyes again for ruminating on your sweetness. ‘Tis a pretty story indeed that I am to be thus monopolized, by a little nut-brown maid like you—and from a statesman and a soldier metamorphosed into a puny lover. I believe in my soul you are an inchantress; but I have tried in vain, if not to break, at least, to weaken the charm—you maintain your empire in spite of all my efforts—and after every new one, I make to withdraw myself from my allegiance my partial heart still returns and clings to you with increased attachment. To drop figure my lovely girl you become dearer to me every moment. I am more and more unhappy and impatient under the hard necessity that keeps me from you, and yet the prospect lengthens as I advance. AH to ES, 5Oct1780

I would not have you imagine Miss that I write to you so often either to gratify your wishes or to please your vanity; but merely to indulge myself and to comply with that restless propensity of my mind, which will not allow me to be happy when I am not doing something in which you are concerned. This may seem a very idle disposition in a philosopher and a soldier; but I can plead illustrious examples in my justification. Achilles had liked to have sacrificed Greece and his glory to his passion for a female captive; and Anthony lost the world for a woman. I am sorry the times are so changed as to oblige me to summon antiquity for my apology, but I confess, to the disgrace of the present age, that I have not been able to find many who are as far gone as myself in such laudable zeal for the fair sex. AH to ES, 13Oct1780

How often have I with Eloisa exclaimed against those forms which I now revere as calculated to knit our union together by new and stronger bands...Meade already begins to recant. I have received a letter from him on the Journey2 in which he tells me he finds he must return to the army. This will be a new proof to you that I cannot leave it, as we both so ardently desire. AH to ES, 27Oct1780

You possess a heart that can feel for me; you have a female too that you love. I was reduced at one period to entreat, threat, kiss, but all to no purpose; her fears were for my safety, mine for hers. You must imagine to make out the tragedy all that I am incapable for want of words to express. After placing her with at least Twenty other females & children at a safe distance I immediately returned, & joined the Baron about the time the Enemy left Richmond in order to render him all the aid I could being intimately acquainted with the Country for many miles in the vicinity of the Enemy & on their return down the river I left him to go in pursuit of a residence for a favorite Brother who was driven from his home & obliged to attend to his Wife & a family of little children. Was it not cruel my dear fellow that my matrimonial enjoyments should have been interrupted thus soon; not more than one month had passed when the damned invasion seperated us, & we have yet to meet again, for 60 miles divides us. You know I am a Philosoper my dr fd & prepared to meet much more serious disappointments. This gives me an opening to speak of my return to the army. I have been long wishing your advice in full on the occasion; you are acquainted with the arguments I have used in favor of my stay here. I have now but one to add to them, the experience of that happiness I ever expected to enjoy with the best of Women. She loves not less than your Betsy, & I fear could not bear a seperation. I have not however as yet thrown off the uniform, but I am inclined to believe that it must be the case. Meade to AH, 13Jan1781

I was cherishing the melancholy pleasure of thinking of the sweets I had left behind and was so long to be deprived of, when a servant from Head Quarters presented me with your letters. I feasted for some time on the sweet effusions of tenderness they contained, and my heart returned every sensation of yours. Alas my Betsey you have divested it of every other pretender and placed your image there as the sole proprietor. I struggle with an excess which I cannot but deem a weakness and endeavour to bring myself back to reason and duty. I remonstrate with my heart on the impropriety of suffering itself to be engrossed by an individual of the human race when so many millions ought to participate in its affections and in its cares. But it constantly presents you under such amiable forms as seem too well to justify its meditated desertion of the cause of country humanity, and of glory I would say, if there were not something in the sound insipid and ridiculous when compared with the sacrifices by which it is to be attained.

Indeed Betsey, I am intirely changed—changed for the worse I confess—lost to all the public and splendid passions and absorbed in you. Amiable woman! nature has given you a right to be esteemed to be cherished, to be beloved; but she has given you no right to monopolize a man, whom, to you I may say, she has endowed with qualities to be extensively useful to society. Yes my Betsey, I will encourage my reason to dispute your empire and restrain it within proper bounds, to restore me to myself and to the community. Assist me in this; reproach me for an unmanly surrender of that to love and teach me that your esteem will be the price of my acting well my part as a member of society. AH to EH, 13Jul1781

Don’t think me unkind for not talking of your making a journey to the Southward. It would put us to a thousand inconveniences and would in fact be of no avail; for while there I must be engrossed in my military duties. Heaven knows how much it costs me to make the sacrifice I do. It is too much to be torn away from the wife of my bosom from a woman I love to weakness, and who feels the same ardent passion for me. I relinquish a heaven in your arms; but let me have the happiness to reflect that they ever impatiently wait my return sacred to love and me. Give your Mama, your sisters and the whole family every assurance of the warmest affection on my part. Indeed I love them all.

Yrs. with unalterable tenderness and fidelity AH to EH,  25Aug1781

Early in November, as I promised you, we shall certainly meet. Cheer yourself with this idea, and with the assurance of never more being separated. Every day confirms me in the intention of renouncing public life, and devoting myself wholly to you. AH to EH, 6Sept1781

My heart disposed to gayety is at once melted into tenderness. The idea of a smiling infant in my Betseys arms calls up all the father in it. In imagination I embrace the mother and embrace the child a thousand times. I can scarce refrain from shedding tears of joy. But I must not indulge these sensations; they are unfit for the boisterous scenes of war and whenever they intrude themselves make me but half a soldier. AH to EH, 12Oct1781

You cannot imagine how entirely domestic I am growing. I lose all taste for the pursuits of ambition, I sigh for nothing but the company of my wife and my baby. The ties of duty alone or imagined duty keep me from renouncing public life altogether. It is however probable I may not be any longer actively engaged in it.

I have explained to you the difficulties which I met with in obtaining a command last campaign. I thought it incompatible with the delicacy due to myself to make any application this campaign. I have expressed this Sentiment in a letter to the General and retaining my rank only, have relinquished the emoluments of my commission, declaring myself notwithstanding ready at all times to obey the calls of the Public.4 I do not expect to hear any of these unless the State of our Affairs, should change for the worse and lest by any unforeseen accident that should happen, I choose to keep myself in a situation again to contribute my aid. This prevents a total resignation.

You were right in supposing I neglected to prepare what I promised you at Philadelphia. The truth is, I was in such a hurry to get home that I could think of nothing else. AH to Meade, March 1782 (from a JCH transcription)

You were right, My dear General, in saying that a Soldier should have no Other wife than the service...William North to AH, 12Nov1799

AND just for amusement:

I thank you My Dear Sir for the military figures you have sent me. Tactics you know are literally or figuratively of very comprehensive signification. As people grow old they decline in some arts though they may improve in others. I will try to get Mrs. Hamilton to accompany in games of Tactics new to her. Perhaps she may get a taste for them & become better reconciled to my connection with the Trade-Militant. AH to McHenry, 21June1799

__________________________________________

*I broke this down in a prior post too, but I’ll repeat it here again: I think the clearest statement of his plan left to us is from the draft of the letter he sent to Philip Schuyler explaining why he wants to break with GW (18Feb1781): 

As I cannot think of quitting the army during the war, I have a project of re-entering into the artillery, by taking Lieutenant-Colonel Forrest’s10 place, who is⟩ desirous of retiring on half pay. I have not however made up my mind upon this , Start insertion,head, End,, as I should be obliged to come in the youngest Lt Col instead of the eldest, which I , Start deletion,should, End, , Start insertion,ought to, End, have been by natural succession had I remained in the corps; and , Start insertion,at the same time, End, to resume studies relative to the profession which, to avoid inferiority, must be laborious.

If a handsome command for the campaign in the , Start insertion,light, End, infantry should offer itself, I shall ballance between this and the artillery. My situation ⟨in the latter⟩ would be more , Start deletion,substantial, End, , Start insertion,solid, End, ⟨and permanent;⟩ but as I hope ⟨the war will not last long enough to make it progressive, this consideration has the less force. A command for the campaign would leave me the winter to prosecute studies relative to my future career in life. With⟩ respect to the former, I have been materially the worse for going into his family.11

I have written to you on this subject with all the freedom and confidence to which you have a right and with an assurance of the interest you take in , Start deletion,what, End, , Start insertion,all that, End, concerns me.

This letter implies 1) he had a plan post-military; 2) he had discussed with PS what that plan was, and possibly that six month leave (that never happened because of illness and unavailability) was tied to undertaking some of those studies to be a lawyer, to put himself in better shape to support a family. Being able to do so was important to AH - Philip Hamilton was born Jan 1782, and Angelica would not be born until Sept 1784.

[shy-magpie]

RQG Roman Rogues Sidequest 2

these things get kinda long so liveblog under the cut

So glad they decided to put this on the main feed and not behind the paywall. Not sharing this with my fellow fans would have been hard. Plus if there was ever a time when we needed this its now.

Although between this and 4thought, I can't shake the image of Rusty Towers having a "break glass in case of emergency" vault of wholesome. Yes my mental image of Rusty Towers got more elaborate not less, since confirming they don't work out of their own radio station like a IRL Nightvale, what of it?

I wonder how differently Alex would play in a long campaign. Part of this seems to be having fun with the permission to be chaotic, that only having to live with the consequences another 2 episodes brings. Plus a tiny bit of revenge on his players or as I've said before "he plays like this because you played like that".

We know this Helen and we love you.

Bryn does seem to be assistant cat herder, which works for Riz. Kid is going to be such a good cleric. Also male cleric of fertility and flowers? A nice part of Bryn's spearheading RQ's campaign to say "fuck toxic masculinity".

I love that the first time they use the minis it's for this.

Lydia is right and should say it. Sasha has a better place here with her kids than she ever would watching for Barret's people over her shoulder the rest of her life in a world that let Other London happen. Seriously I've said it before: end the series with the party (taking as many of the NPCs as necessary for it not to be a crime) going into the past with them to work under Sasha (after she wrote the letter but in time to help resurrect Grizzop before the Meritocracy bans it).

Thank you for always introducing the characters.

Lydia just called them Sasha's old family and I'm all choked up.

Azus(Alex) is far more endearing than they should be. Still haven't managed to catch their pronouns, but IIRCdiscord asked & settled on he/they with a gender of "if a thorn in the side was a gender"; which is so valid. Not sure how he thought kid whose first big character trait is "steals to avenge petty grievances" was going to be cheery, but good on him for being adaptable.

Wilde(Helen) is the best and first to say so.

Amidus(James) is that guy from my econ 101 class who just discovered Marx.

Riz(Bryn) is older, awkward, and trying to look out for the others.

Lydia is so valid, how can you not have a soft spot for Riz.

Bryn shifting us back on topic. Either that or he can't take a compliment.

And on with the show:

Wilde is trying to give Sasha & me grey hair. Lydia may have a theme going with the traps. Grapple rules are legendary.

James BAP

Alex is good at coaching Lydia.

Burn from Alex, much more effective than a "bap".

Wilde!?! I am not rewinding for that number, I trust this table to tell me if she is dead or severely injured and refuse to follow fights well enough to stress blow by blow.

GM screen jokes lead to women's pocket jokes. Neither Lydia or I can tell if Alex is joking but either way it is kinda nice to have a guy sound personally offended by fake pockets.

Of course Sasha sent the kids in with a variety of weapons.

Oh Riz! Sasha taught them the importance of flanking and Riz is reminding his sibs to work together. Yes Alex but if he phrased it that way it wouldn't go right to the heart of all of us who remember how Sasha always wanted to flank.

James asks directly for advice, good for him. Then twists it from stabbing to pining its corners.

Oh mechanics with Alex *pulls up chair*

Bryn and Alex are good at being helpful while still making it clear they are defering to Lydia. It's nice not having my rank issues activated even when they get very hands on.

So did Lydia take that idea from when Zolf was engulfed or did Alex take it off Lydia or is this just a TTRPG thing? Because half of the damage going into the person you're trying to save isn't something I was warned about.

Oh good, Wilde is going to die in a fancy rug, maybe that is of some comfort/s

Priorities Lydia! Been hanging around Alex too long ISTG...

Where are you going with this Alex? Oh Alex you really do live to give the fans everything they want. First wanting to get around using historically accurate vents, then wanting to drop the chandelier on the baddie? Just aiming to indulge every movie cliche everyone secretly dreams of.

Valid Lydia, it is absolutely your right to rule that there is no difference.

Wilde has 6hp, that's like a whole Skraak right? Leave me my denial.

Alex sounds so happy.

Sasha is NOT a bad mother! Poor Lydia did not mean for this to be such a dangerous encounter. Things like this help me understand why Alex kept having encounters where they either wiped the floor with his beautiful monsters or he nearly killed them.

Smash cut, poor Lydia. Potions for each of them.

A 1? Helen you had one instruction/jk

Riz please save your sister

Lydia, is Wilde going to die cozy?

Ok Wilde is out! Thank you Bryn/Riz

Thanks Helen & Alex for a Murphy bed that is actually an open mouth waiting to you to lay down

Azus is also going third person. The poor little guy really does care about Wilde and like most tough kids is a lot more fragile than they seem. Azus feeds Wilde a potion.

Do as the Romans do.

Wilde is now back to 8 points. Alex goes for funny crying because this could break a listener if done at all seriously. Grumpy kid who steals from their siblings in self defense, crying at the first sight of them in real danger for the first time? Alex is being merciful.

Amidus is not dead of being the only one not helping Wilde.

Wilde takes her(?) own potion, because Helen doesn't want us to worry

Oh do not remind me how vulnerable Sasha was.

Riz has to extract himself from the pile to throw a dagger at the rug and gets sneak attack damage on the rug.

So Hamid's player just used Hamid's namesake to flank like Sasha always wanted. Riz obliterated the rug for hurting his sister.

Riz is good with his siblings.

Wilde gives Azus a hug.

Lydia distracts them by offering Wilde a scar.

Wilde rolls to comfort Azus.

Azus is going to be attached to Wilde like a limpet. Riz and Wilde are going to poke things with a stick.

"I'll never let go" Alex must you? Bryn don't help him break our hearts (well do, you know what I mean).

Ionic pillar pun, Alex is so pleased with James for that.

Thank you Riz for not pulling strange ropes that disappear into the ceiling.

Amidus however...

Nothing seems to happen is the scariest thing a GM can say. Ok it actually does just summon a servant.

Science Kobold mini!

Azus attacks the poor servant, who calls for a guard.

Amidus uses knock out gas on the servant and therefore at least one sibling. Now is not the time to roll well James. At least it was only a sleep spell.

Wilde keels over on the bed, Azus does not take it well.

Riz wants to gently tie up and interrogate the servant. They are a little to eager to stab this servant.

They are standing on the vault?

So its a random chance?

Poor Bryn keeps falling into Hamid's voice.

Lydia is not letting them assist each other on telling if the servant is lying. They now have to believe the servant who was lying.

Riz feints a stab at the servant before following his siblings down.

Lydia knows Alex gave us a damn complex about fall damage and clarifies its a fun slide.  

[elsabarnitt]

CASE STUDY - ‘The Book That Grew’ DandAD 2020 Annual Graphite Pencil Award

1.     FRONT PAGE (slide 1)

For my case study I chose “The Book That Grew”, which won a graphite pencil in the DandAD 2020 awards.

On screen is the first image I saw that made me want to find out more, so I thought it was appropriate for it to be the first image you see. I’ll be honest, I only started looking into this project because this image looked cool, and I’ve never seen anything like it before so want to find out more. Looking in further I found high levels of collaboration, thought and a moralistic purpose to help a community become better.

2.     WHAT AM I GOING TO TALK ABOUT (slide 2)

I am going to talk about a book that was grown with the aims to improve farming practises.

Ireland heavily relies on farming as their main source of economic income.

This development of this book was a project which spanned 6-7months and was a collaboration between the Allied Irish Bank, Teagasc; Irelands agriculture and food development authority, Rothco a design agency and the artist Diana Scherer.

In this presentation I elaborate on the creation of this idea, the processes involved, the limitations and the design.

3.     WHY IT WAS MADE (slide 3)

Agriculture accounts for 30% of total emissions in Ireland which is its largest carbon emissions contributor. This can’t continue. The Irish economy is dependent on farming, with 6 billion euros of food and drink specifically reliant upon grasslands for their production. So for this level of farming to survive, it has to become sustainable.

AIB, the Allied Irish Bank has a business relationship with 35% of the farmers in Ireland and therefore this issue is of much importance to them. AIB partnered with Teagasc, who identified 10 tangible lessons and 10 pieces of practical advice to maximise sustainability and increase the profitability. The 10 steps help farmers to achieve a ‘perfect’ 10 rotations of grass grazing per year and produce 10 tonnes of grass per hectare – this is a powerful number that will greatly improve the sustainability of even the most efficient farm.

Hence, 10 being a major theme for this campaign. Which appears in their campaign video as well as the book.

This advice was compiled into a 22 page organically grown book using the very grass that Irish farmers nurture as the medium to carry these important lessons. And I believe this is a perfect example of getting the right message to the right people in the most suitable way.

4.     INTRO INTO IDEA (slide 4)

I contacted the Irish design agency, Rothco via Instagram with a few questions and the offer to have a virtual coffee. To my surprise I got a response and Rob Maguire and Fabiano Dalmacio on the Creative team at Rothco were more than happy to have a zoom call with me.

It was great to be able to hear first-hand, how an agency works with a well-established client relationship to anticipate issues and be able to be proactive about providing solutions. It was also great to explore the whole process and the problems they came across face to face.

From my research I realised they had a long-standing relationship with AIB, and so one of the questions I asked was “Did AIB come to you with a brief, or did you go to them with an idea?”

The answer I received was that: No brief had been released, but Rothco knew AIB was passionate about sustainability and they have a lot of ambitions to do greener work, and knew there was an agricultural brief on its way. They were constantly looking out for things, and said they have a WhatsApp chat where they send ideas to each other at all hours of the day and night.

Fabiano initially came across an article about a visual artist called Diana Scherer who used grass to sustainably make fabrics. His initially reaction was ‘this is really cool, and we have to do something with her’, so they contacted the creative director at AIB who suggested a book or an annual report, because if Diana can grow patterns and textures, she can grow letters and numbers. And from there they contacted Diana to see if it was actually possible, and even she wasn’t completely sure, which shows the risk everyone was willing to take.

Rob and Fabiano were also kind enough to send me photos they had taken of some testers and unused versions. Two of which are on screen now.

As you can see the number 25 hasn’t formed properly.

5.     DIANA (slide 5)

Diana Scherer, a German artist living in Amsterdam, explores the relationship of man versus natural environment. She has come up with a truly unique process, which no one else in the world knows how to do.

She has designed templates which had to be to a specific standard to allow grass roots to grow into them to form patterns. This is called ‘root-weaving’. I got told she is very protective of her work and didn’t show anyone else how to do what she does throughout the whole process.

She has a lab in Amsterdam where she curates her work, which is where the pages were all grown.

6.     LIMITATIONS (slide 6)

The Rothco Design Team went out to Amsterdam to visit Diana to learn about the limitations of her process. One of the main limitations of the technique she has created is that everything has be connected in the template.

For example, if there was a font, it all has to be connected otherwise the roots would simply not take to it. As you can see in this picture there are very small lines connecting each of the letters together.

This project was being curated during Winter, which in terms of gardening isn’t the best time. Diana informed the team that growing in Winter versus Summer would have quite different outcomes and urged them to wait, however due to the time limit Rothco were under they weren’t able to wait but had to make it work in Winter.

From the moment it was harvested the pages started to die. Due to the nature of the project the team decided against using a preservative as that went against what they were trying to achieve. Because of this they decided to have a photography project running alongside it so that you could capture what it looked like the moment It was harvested.

Another limitation was that the size of the page. This really mattered as that would be a deciding factor of how big the typography could be and therefore how legible it was. They decided on 11 x 17 inches, which is roughly the size of an A3 page.

7.     GRID SYSTEM, FONT, SYMBOLS (slide 7)

Due to the constraints I have just mentioned, the design team had to come up with a way to display all of the information in the most efficient and understandable way. They ended up condensing all the information they needed into a grid system inspired by the farmers fields using symbols to tell farmers what to do instead of words. I think its also important to say each page was set out to mimic the yearly calendar to make it easier for farmers to follow.

To the right of the screen I have displayed just a few of the symbols they used. The middle one being one of their field diagram designs.

Top left means Soil

Top right means fencing,

which I’m glad they have a key because I never would have guessed these otherwise.

When on the Zoom call with the creative team I asked what Type style they used and they couldn’t remember, however through one of the images they sent me after our call there were hints that it was ‘Helvetica’, and since comparing the book to this font I am almost certain it is.

SWITCH SLIDE (slide 8)

This is a close up of one of the pages to show you what the symbols look like in the book. Letters were also used as a symbol, for example the T and the F stand for Test and fertilise.

8.     TEMPLATES AND DIANA CHECKING THEM (slide 9)

As spoken about on the previous slides, getting the right size and making sure everything was connected was vital. Therefore, it wasn’t as easy as just choosing fonts and point sizes from a printing point of view, but you had to do it from a gardening one as the pages would grow pixel by pixel. Every time the design team would finish a template, they would send it off to Diana for her to then check it over and see if there was anything wrong with it.

An example that Fabiano gave was that they had some numbers on their templates and Diana would say ‘the size of the zero, you need to increase that otherwise it is going to close in on itself. If you wanted that circle edge you need to make it bigger’.

With this kind of collaboration and exchanging of information the outcome just kept getting better.

SWITCH SLIDE (slide 10)

Here is an image of a digital template beside the root woven version of itself.

As you can see the root woven version on the right hand side isn’t as legible as the digital version. The roots aren’t as bold and perhaps as structured as white is against a black background, however as they were working with nature, it was okay for it not to be perfect, and for the letters to not form 100% accurately.

9.     BOOK BINDING (slide 11)

The book was grown in Amsterdam and was being bound in Dublin by letter press printer and bookbinder Jamie Murphy of the Salvage press.

Each page took roughly 2 weeks to grow and then were all sent separately by courier. As this book is the first of its kind, one of the main challenges was finding the best way to bind it. Jamie was given several test runs that had failed to practice binding with. Everything was so delicate which you can see from the picture on the screen now so special techniques had to be used.

A challenge that Jamie faced was that Rothco were persistent on everything being made out of grass as keeping it as pure as possible was very important to them, so despite Jamie asking for some plastic features he had to find another way to do things.

Jamie burnt the grass in order for it to find a new life as an ink, and also used it to make more pages to act as dividers in the book to protect the delicate pages. Even the cords that hold the book together are made from bamboo

This all demonstrates that when a material such as grass is managed correctly it can work wonders.

10.  CHANGE (slide 12)

The Book That Grew toured round Ireland, and was given the title ‘The best Grassroots campaign of all time’, with the main event being the National Ploughing Championships.

I have been told the book had a very good reception there as well as the knowledge that some farmers have already implemented some of the lessons within the book.

I think that this project has huge relevance in today’s society as sustainability is becoming a top priority for a lot of businesses.

I started off this project with the impression that this was cool, however after researching further no wonder I thought this as it is the world’s first, every page, every word, and every diagram in a book to be formed by real grass roots as they grow. An aspect of this project that has really stuck with me is the fact that you had to wait for the book to make itself as opposed to being able to physically make it and therefore patience was key.

After speaking with Rob and Fabiano on the Creative team at Rothco, I saw the human aspect behind the project and saw the good that they are trying to make which is something that has really inspired me. It is bigger than just its typography which is what it won the award for.

REFLECTION

- I have found this case study project to be very helpful and very interesting. I feel as if I have learnt different ways to find out information as at the beginning of this project I found it quite hard and was coming across the same information over and over. Something that I think had hugely benefitted me was getting in contact with the design agency RothCo and I am so thankful they took time out of their day to speak with me. 

BIBLIOGRAPHY

https://www.lbbonline.com/news/aib-releases-worlds-first-book-literally-grown-from-grass-roots

https://musebycl.io/makers/agency-grew-book-out-grass-support-irish-farmers

https://m.bizcommunity.com/Article/196/614/210434.html

https://marcommnews.com/aib-and-rothco-release-beautiful-new-book-literally-grown-from-grass-roots/

https://www.irishtimes.com/sponsored/teagasc-making-money-by-watching-the-grass-grow-1.1619570

https://www.thedrum.com/creative-works/project/rothco-aib-the-book-grew

https://www.thestable.com.au/rothco-aib-grow-a-book-entirely-from-grass-roots/

[ecto-american]

DannyMay 2019 themed story, I’m not late I’m just going my own pace pls be nice to me

Ectoplasm | Broken | Glass | Theory | Community | Eavesdropping | Worldbuilding | Accident | History | Shape shift | Or Read on AO3. |

Day 28: Puppet

The process felt like it would never end. The worst part was the painful lack of results. Two hours of searching through textbooks, and they found little to work with.

Jazz had been faithfully taking notes in neat handwriting on anything possibly worth referencing. She paused only to sip coffee and occasionally ask Ohmer a question. Like her, the lawyer was focused and kept her eyes mostly glued to the pages as she applied sticky notes to relevant places.

Jack couldn't concentrate at all.

He stared at the pages, his mind skipping over words and forgetting the last paragraph. The text was so small, with many words he didn't quite understand. Jack wasn't a lawyer or a brilliant teenager. He was an ecto-biologist. None of this made sense to him. He was useless. Useless to even do a basic thing to help his son. He had retreated to the lawyer's couch to properly stretch out and to give the girls more space to spread out the books.

The office phone began to ring. Ohmer's hand shot out to answer it immediately.

"Hello, this is Elizabeth Ohmer," she greeted. A weak smile came across her face as she forced a small chuckle. "Yeah, I'm still here. Did you get my message?" She sighed and leaned back in her chair, only to immediately sit up again. "Oh? Yes, I will still be here...Please drop on by!" Jack watched the lawyer curiously. "Thank you, see you in a little bit! Mhm! Goodbye!"

She hung up, and she sighed heavily in relief.

"That was one of the other lawyers I called, his name is George Payne, who'd have more knowledge," she explained to the pair.

George Payne...George Payne...that name rang a bell…Jack knew that name...

"That's V-man's lawyer," he suddenly realized. "George Payne, from Payne and Slaughter Firms?" Ohmer nodded, and Jazz went pale.

"You know him?" she asked curiously. Jack half-shrugged.

"Mayor Masters has been a family friend for decades," he explained. "He's had Payne and Slaughter representing his company for a long time, they're the only people he really trusts to represent his businesses anymore. I've never formally met George, but I know he works closely with Vlad." Ohmer seemed surprised, but she nodded.

"George and his partner are both primarily corporate law, but I know they also have a lot of experience with other legal issues," Ohmer replied. "They're a big company these days, they can handle almost any type of legal case you have anymore."

"So is Mr. Payne coming?" Jazz finally spoke up. Ohmer nodded.

"He said that he and his partner, as well as Mr. Masters, would be here very shortly," she replied.

Excitement and relief washed over Jack. Who better would help him than the family friend? A politician, a billionaire, his best friend. Even though he knew Vlad didn't know, Jack already felt at much more ease knowing that Vlad was coming to help, somebody who had more power.

"Vlad's coming too?" Jack questioned. He glanced at Jazz, smiling warmly. Their luck was turning around, but Jazz...she looked even more distressed at this. His smile dropped in confusion.

"That's what Mr. Payne said," Ohmer told them. She stood up, stretching. "In about twenty minutes, so I think I'm gonna take a break. Get something to eat."

"Yeah, sounds good. Jazz? Wanna grab something from the cafeteria?" Jack questioned. He saw Jazz smile weakly.

"Okay," she agreed.

A knock came at the door. Instead of waiting for any reply, a man in a formal gray suit and briefcase opened the door, followed by another man that also had a gray suit and briefcase. Lastly was a familiar face.

"Vlad!" Jack breathlessly called out in relief, standing up. The billionaire paused in shock at seeing him.

"Jack?" Vlad asked curiously. "What are you doing here?"

"I admitted Phantom into the hospital," Jack explained, and he took a step to Vlad, putting a hand on his shoulder. Understandably, Vlad looked skeptical and yet curious as to Jack's claims. Jack didn't blame him. Even to Vlad, he was never subtle about his...previous interests. "Please, can I have a moment? I really need to talk to you about something."

"Not now, Jack." Vlad tried to shrug off Jack's hand, but Jack clutched his friend's upper arms tightly.

"Vlad, please, it's important," he pleaded. Vlad's face scrunched up, and he silently stared at Jack. He gave a deep sigh, and he motioned for Jack to follow him.

They stepped out into the hallway, and Vlad half-closed the door behind him. Jack had no clue where to even begin. How could he explain to his best friend why, without exposing Danny?

"Vlad, it's super important that your lawyers find a way to get Phantom into my custody."

"So what?" Vlad seemed oddly...more bored than any kind of shock at this statement. "So you can dissect him? Absolutely not. I'll let you in on a little secret, Jack." He leaned into him, and he lowered his voice a bit. "Phantom's actually my son." Jack's entire body froze in horror at what he knew immediately was a lie. He stared at Vlad, wide-eyed. "He's a bit rebellious, wanting to go against me, so this is just the perfect opportunity for me to get him home, safe and sound. So no, Jack. I'm not going to entertain the idea of putting my son in your hands like that."

"Vlad, I...I don't think you understand." Where was Jack even supposed to begin?

His friend rolled his eyes at him.

"Jack, you don't understand. This is between a father and his son, and this is also politics," Vlad told him. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to make sure my boy gets home safe and sound."

Vlad didn't wait for any reply. He left a stunned Jack standing in the hallway, going into the room and shutting the door behind him. Jack could only stare at the door, his mind going a million miles. This was just an elaborate, dedicated ploy. It had to be. Vlad was just doing what he could to protect the hero of his town. This son claim, it was only to trick the lawyer into signing him over. Vladdy didn't know, he was just doing what he thought was best. But why the lie, why? Vlad had the money and power to just take Phantom, wouldn't he? Why lie about Phantom being his son?

Jack hurriedly pulled himself together, opening the door and closing it behind him. Vlad paid no attention to his presence, though the lawyers that accompanied him gave a polite headnod. They stood off to the side. Jack could barely muster one in return as he stood with Jazz. She stood in the corner of the room, holding the book she was reading earlier to her chest as she watched on in worry. A distinct fear that stirred feelings of unease within Jack himself. Vlad was standing in front of Ohmer, who continued to stay seated at her desk as she patiently listened to Vlad.

"So, if you just release Phantom into my care," Vlad seemed to be ending a small speech when Jack finally tuned in, "I will handle all the legal fees."

"I'm so sorry, Mr. Masters, but I can't do that," Ohmer lightly frowned. Vlad seemed unfazed by this, giving an understanding nod.

"I meant after his surgery and recovery, of course," he said, and he gave a dazzling smile. One that Jack was all too familiar with. A political smile. "I want my son to be safe and sound when he returns."

"No, Mr. Masters," she replied, shaking her head. Her fingers fidgeted with a pen in her hand. "Forgive me for saying this, but this confession, this, this uh, revelation of sorts, that Phantom is your son is a bit hard for me to grasp." Vlad made a face.

"Of course he's my son," Vlad insisted. Every time Vlad claimed that, Jack felt lightheaded nausea and confusion. Ohmer raised an eyebrow at him.

"Then...why would you so publicly campaign against him during your election?" she questioned. Vlad paused, observing her for a moment.

"Do you have children, Miss Ohmer?" he asked. The lawyer nodded.

"Yeah, I actually have a daughter about Phantom's age," she replied. Vlad gave a smile.

"Then you probably understand how rebellious teenagers can be," he spoke. "We have a bit of a...complicated relationship, but as you know, you always love your children. Even when they act out in such a manner against you." Ohmer leaned back in her chair. She looked obviously skeptical of his story.

"Once Phantom is out of surgery, can he confirm that you are his father or legal guardian?" she asked. Vlad sighed with obvious fake dramatics before shaking his head.

"You will simply have to take my word for it, Miss Ohmer. I'm afraid he'll deny it. You know teenagers."

Ohmer shook her head, lightly tapping her pen on the desk.

"No, Mr. Masters," she replied. "I cannot just take your word for it, especially considering that even you will admit that he will not confirm your story. And this is on top of your very public campaigns against him. You've shot at him before. And you've revealed in interviews before that you had put that million dollar bounty on him. I don't think a judge would allow for a child to stay within a home under those conditions."

Vlad's face had been dropping with every single word she said. On some level, Jack felt relief. The billionaire glanced at his lawyers with a raised eyebrows. They simply nodded to him.

"I'll sue this hospital," he threatened. Ohmer gave an exhausted sigh. "I'll sue this damn hospital for not allowing me to see my child."

She stood up, digging through a drawer in her desk for a few moments. She took out some legal looking papers, looking towards the lawyers standing off to the side instead of Vlad.

"We can do a DNA test," she suggested, and she offered them the papers. Jack could see a flash of panic run across Vlad's face. Vlad's lawyers took the paper, glancing at each other before nodding in approval. "And if that DNA test comes back as a match, then as the biological father of Danny Phantom, Mr. Masters will be given all the legal rights of parenthood."

"I shouldn't have to take a DNA test! That's my child!" Vlad spoke loudly.

"Then take the DNA test so that we can all be legally in the clear," Ohmer told him.

Vlad's eyes darkened as he stared intently at the lawyer before him. Ohmer flinched, but she stayed standing straight.

"Let me speak in a language more people can understand then," Vlad replied. He glanced to his lawyers. They simply watched him.

He reached into his pocket, pulling out a thick wad of hundred dollar bills. Jack's eyes grew to the size of saucers upon seeing it, and even Vlad's own lawyers looked impressed. That had to be thousands of dollars right there in the palm of the billionaire's hand. A drop in the bucket for him.

Vlad offered it out to Ohmer, but she kept her eyes locked with his.

"I am Danny Phantom's legal guardian, and he will be discharged into my care. If you make this happen, consider this fifty thousand dollars right here completely yours. Under the table, cash free."

The temptation to take it was there. Jack could see it in her eyes, and she said nothing for a moment. Ohmer finally glanced down at the money, the comically huge stack of hundred dollar bills.

"No."

Vlad's face dropped in surprise, and the hand around the money clenched in anger.

"What do you mean," he asked. Jack felt goosebumps at how angry and cold his best friend's voice was sounding, and an odd feeling was beginning to fill him. "No?"

For the first time since Phantom was admitted to the hospital, Ohmer looked a bit nervous. But to her credit, she stood her ground and never looked away.

"I stand by my statement," her voice quivered slightly, but she still spoke firmly. "I'm sorry, Mr. Masters."

Vlad said nothing for a moment. He kept locked in a staring contest with the lawyer. Jack could see Jazz nervously fiddling her thumbs as she watched on in worry. He squeezed her shoulders assuringly, shooting her a smile. He kept trying to tell himself that Vlad had Phantom's best interest at heart. But Jazz's glance back to him made his stomach twist, and he knew he was only fooling himself.

"A hundred thousand," Vlad suddenly spoke. Ohmer blinked.

"Excuse me?" she asked.

"I'll have a hundred thousand dollars brought here. Right now," Vlad bargained.

Vlad studied her coldly. Jack's hands squeezed Jazz's shoulders lightly as it hit him. Vlad was scaring him. He had never seen the cheerful billionaire in this kind of light. Why would he even want Phantom that badly?

Ohmer didn't budge.

"No."

"Three hundred thousand." Vlad had not wasted a second. Ohmer's lower lip quivered in temptation.

"No."

"Five hundred thousand." Jack's heart raced hard as the prices were quickly going higher and higher. He knew Vlad had no price limit for things he truly wanted. "That daughter of yours could go to any college her heart desires. No debt. Enough left over to probably pay off your mortgage, no?"

Jack's grip on Jazz's shoulders tightened, and he only loosened when she let out a small whimper of pain. He murmured an apology as he saw Ohmer staring back at Vlad. Half a million dollars. That was so much money. A comical amount. Vlad would have to deliver that much money on a rolling cart or something.

"No."

Vlad shot her a dirty look of annoyance.

"Name a price, then."

Ohmer's eyes narrowed at him, and she glared right back at him.

"Phantom's not for sale."

Vlad huffed angrily. Jazz and Jack stayed silent as they watched the affair unfold. An uncomfortable silence filled the air. Even Vlad's lawyers shifted from foot to foot as Ohmer and Vlad stared each other down.

"Mr. Masters, I am not another political puppet that you can make dance with a bribe. If you are Phantom's father, then you should have nothing to fear by taking a DNA test," she told him. Vlad said nothing for a while, but he finally seemed to break.

"Fine."

Ohmer nodded. She reached for her phone, dialing an extension for the hospital. Somebody on the other end picked up, and Ohmer spoke sweetly into the phone, requesting a DNA test to be performed. Jack could hear her briefly explain the situation. After a brief exchange, Ohmer hung up, looking up to Vlad.

"You can go to the third floor, to Dr. Bird's office. He'll perform the swap for you, and we'll get back to you as soon as possible," Ohmer told him. Vlad continued to stare angrily at her.

He snapped his fingers, and one of the lawyers stepped forward. The lawyer pulled an envelope out of his inner jacket pocket, handing it to Vlad. Vlad handed it to Ohmer.

"Go ahead and give this to my son when he wakes up. Tell him if he knows what's good for him, that he will call me when he gets the chance." His voice was chilling, and Ohmer simply nodded. "Otherwise, tell him to have fun rotting in ghost prison."

Vlad turned on his heel, and he opened the door to the office harshly, slamming the door behind him. The lawyers followed him, opening the door but closing it more gently, both of them bidding a polite farewell to Ohmer and the Fentons.

Soon as the door closed, Ohmer picked up the phone again. Jazz returned to her seat across from Ohmer, opening the book with slightly shaky hands. Jack moved to his old spot as well.

"Hello? Dr. Bird? Yeah, I just called you. Listen, can you somehow do that swab I just told you to do, but twice?...Yeah, don't tell him about the second one...Mhm, I don't trust him either...There's just, something off about his story, ya know?...Thanks, you're the best." Ohmer hung up the phone with a deep exhale. She rubbed her face, and Jack's mind raced.

Why was Vlad so hung up on this? So reluctant to take a test, his lawyers, the everything? And his behavior, he was so...stand offish. Vlad had never talked or treated him like that before. Or, well, he kind of had, but very briefly and only in passing and rarely, but now? What? Why was Phantom so important? Why was his son so important? It's not like it'd help Vlad's campaign or anything. In fact, it'd possibly be worse if the town found out that Vlad was harboring Phantom, or if he accidentally found out that it was Jack's half ghost son.

Oh god. Oh god.

No...no...it couldn't...Vlad couldn't…

Jack felt his legs grow weak, and he made himself sit down in the seat. He made no moves to grab the book had previously been forcing himself to try and read. It made so much sense. The ecto-acne...the proto-portal...the years spent ignoring him...the hesitance to become close again…

Vlad...Vlad was also half ghost, and he had to be terrified of Jack too.

It sounded so crazy, but this entire day had been a crazy one. Why not throw a little more on top of it? His son and his best friend both being half ghost. Insane right? What are the odds? High. Very high when...a lot when you caused it. Danny and the Fenton Portal...it was too similar to Vlad with the pro-portal...

But who on Earth would Vlad be? Jack tried to picture Vlad with inverted colors, like Danny, and his mind drew a blank. Nobody came to mind. No ghost he had ever seen. He was stumped immediately. But it had to be true. It made too much sense. Jack caused his best friend and son to...become the very thing he constantly hunted, dissected, talked about and experimented on.

No wonder he wasn't that close to either, much as he wanted to be and tried. Both must be terrified of him.

"Dad? You okay?" Jazz's voice broke him of his stupor, and he locked eyes with her. Without any words exchanged, he knew that she knew what he was thinking. Her eyes shied away, and Jack's gut twisted. Jazz knew. Ohmer spared only a brief glance to them before she had returned to flipping through the book before her.

"I'm...I think I need to stretch my legs a bit more," he replied, standing up. He still felt weak, but the room felt so hot and stuffy. "Get some air."

"Do you want company?" Jazz questioned. Jack shook his head as he went to the door, grasping the knob tightly. He didn't need her to come along, to confirm his worst fears and to unintentionally assure him that he was, indeed, a horrible friend and father.

"I'll just be a few," he replied. He forced a weak smile, and he left to take a much needed walk. There was just simply too much to think about.

[yayneloveart]

Good Omens/Lucifer 5

They pulled up to massive gaudy mansion which the Dowlings currently called home. Valets were taking keys from anyone who didn’t bring a chauffeur which didn’t go over well when they tried to collect Crowley’s keys from him. One whispered threat and an unseen glare later and he finally gave them over to the now terrified valet.

‘I think that was a bit much,’ Chloe commented.

‘I don’t like other people driving my car,’ Crowley gritted his teeth as he pulled a large wrapped present from the backseat of the car. They approached the front doors and were greeted by a doorman.

‘Names?’ he asked as he held up a guest list.

‘Ashtoreth, plus one,’ Crowley switched to his soft old lady voice. The doorman checked them off and let them inside. Most of the other guests had already arrived and the rooms were full of important people having drinks and talking about whatever politicians talk about at parties. Crowley dropped the present at a table covered in boring looking gifts.

‘Let’s start with Mr. Dowling and work our way around from there,’ Chloe suggested. Crowley craned his neck and looked around the crowd for the politician, his height and heels giving him a good vantage point.

‘Over there, probably on his third glass of wine,’ Crowley lead Chloe through the crowd until they made it over to the birthday boy’s father. ‘Good evening, Mr. Dowling.’

‘Nanny Ashtoreth! So nice to see you!’ He bellowed, handing his wine glass to Mrs. Dowling so he could give Ashtoreth a bear hug. Crowley tensed up and tried to subtly worm his way out of his grasp.

‘Honey, you might be crushing her,’ Mrs. Dowling pulled him off and had a server take away their drinks. She turned back to Crowley and gave him a gentle hug. ‘It’s nice to see you, Warlock was very happy to hear you were coming.’

‘I’m glad, I can’t wait to see him again. And let me introduce you to my niece, Chloe,’ Crowley gestured to his undercover partner who shook hands with them.

Chloe immediately started to talk with the guests, learning who was working on the campaign and how they knew the victim. After a while she realized that Crowley wasn’t with her and she was forced to go look for him.

‘Please tell me he’s not doing something Lucifer would do...’ she mumbled to herself as she sneaked through the empty rooms looking for him. She followed the sound of clacking heels on the floor and eventually found him wandering through a deserted hallway.

‘What are you doing?’ She asked.

‘I’m looking for Warlock, he wasn’t anywhere at the party,’ he explained.

‘I get you care for him and want to catch up, but we’re also here on a mission and I need you to help me identify anyone suspicious at the party, like anyone who smells like that cologne.’

‘Dowling was wearing it, so the killer was with him right before the murder. Now, I think I’m getting close,’ Crowley walked to a door and slowly opened it. Chloe walked up beside him and saw that it was a large linen closet with a window. At the window was a young man lowering a rope outside, the other end tied to a large exposed pipe.

‘And what do we have here?’ Crowley laughed as Warlock quickly turned around, looking terrified.

‘I wasn’t doing anything, I swear!’ he yelled as he tried to stand in front of the rope. ‘Nanny?’

‘Master Warlock, nice to see you again.’

‘Oh thank God you’re here,’ he ran up to him and gave him a hug. ‘I don’t know anyone here, my dad invited his friends and their asshole kids.’

‘Well that’s a shame, a young mans birthday should be about him,’ Crowley sighed.

‘Hey, are you helping me up or not?!’ a voice yelled from the open window. Warlock quickly let go of Crowley and ran over to the window to pull someone up. Another young man covered in twigs and leaves tumbled through the window to the floor.

‘This is a friend of mine, my dad didn’t let me officially invite him because hes a ‘troublemaker’, so we decided to sneak in,’ Warlock pulled his friend up and started pulling leaves out of his hair. ‘Adam, this is my nanny from when I was a kid, Nanny Ashtoreth, and her friend...?’

‘My niece, Chloe.’

The young man brushed his long blond hair out of his eyes. He looked up at Crowley and Chloe and had to choke back a laugh. ‘Nice to meet you, Ashtoreth.’

Chloe saw Crowley stiffen, then relax. ‘Nice to meet you, Adam.’

‘It’s his birthday too, and since hes so far from his family I figured I could share some of my party with him.’

‘I’m looking forward to getting some rich people food,’ Adam laughed. ‘Oh, I almost forgot,’ he leaned back to the open window and called out, ‘Dog, stay down there out of sight, I’ll be out in a bit.’

‘Maybe we should get back to the party before anyone notices we’re missing,’ Chloe shifted on her feet nervously.

‘I could stay out of the party the whole night and no one would notice until they brought out the cake,’ Warlock scoffed, but still started to walk back towards the guests. Chloe started to follow him but stopped when she heard some harsh whispering. She turned and saw Crowley and Adam having a heated conversation, Adam looking very amused while Crowley gripped his arm.

‘What are you doing?’ she whispered to Crowley and he released the young mans arm. Adam smiled and jogged to catch up to Warlock.

‘I know him,’ Crowley said cryptically. There was a beat between them as Chloe waited to him to elaborate, but he never did.

‘How do you know him? What’s going on?’

‘It’s complicated.’

She realized that she wasn’t going to get much more out of him and had to accept that anyone related to Lucifer had their secrets. They arrived back at the party just in time for the cake to come out. It was gigantic with fondant sculptures of the Dowlings on top with the campaign logo on the side. There was also the logo for UCLA and some fondant books, to squeeze in something related to Warlock. Pieces were cut and passed out by servers to guests.

‘Could you wrap this up for me? We’ll be leaving soon,’ Crowley told a server and handed his cake to them. ‘And have the valet bring my car around.’

‘We are?’ Chloe asked.

‘Once Warlock has opened my gift.’

‘... Oh no.’

Chloe had a feeling that Crowley was more like his brother than she realized. This was proven once Warlock started to unwrap his gifts, the first few being boring things like Burberry ties and fancy cuff links. He looked bored until he saw the large colorful box Crowley brought in and decided that one probably had something fun in it. Crowley started to slowly walk backwards towards the front door while also tugging Chloe with him.

‘Crowley, what’s about to happen?’ Chloe asks him nervously.

‘I thought Warlock might want to have some actual fun on his birthday,’ Crowley chuckled.

‘What is that?’ They could hear Mrs. Dowling asking. ‘Is that a nerf gun?’

A pillar of fire erupted from where Warlock was standing and the crowd yelped in surprise, Warlock laughing at his new toy. The flames hit a curtain and it caught fire, setting off the sprinklers. The crowd got soaked as Crowley and Chloe ran through the front door down to where his car was idling.

‘What did you buy him?!’ Chloe yelled at him.

‘That flamethrower Elon Musk started selling,’ Crowley laughed. ‘I thought it would liven the party!’

‘You are exactly like Lucifer!’

[justapayneaway]

Okay so the video had some shit that I could potentially understand from an outsider's point of view but hell this is just plain stupid. The Harry situation was clearly a joke. Yeah I guess how he said it might have stung and made people question his thought but he was clearly joking. (1/?) (This is about that video with the hateful remarks of Liam, I thought maybe I should rant about it. Pay in mind it was late and I already had a crap mood so I'm pretty not okay during this rant)

The girlfriend situation, don't even start with it. Yeah she's 18, that girl ain't 19 and even if she was, internet really did her wrong by finding ways to show she aint. That situation fucked up Liam even more and idc if he loves her or whatever but it clearly didnt do him justice and I wish they never made it public, even if it's a stunt or a "real" couple. Like that made people hate him more. (2/?)

The merch is people's choice. I hate the hoodie but I like the t-shirt. He has the rights to sell whatever he wants. His album might be expensive online but its cheap af in stores. It costs 15$ cad here which is nothing compared to the others's album (Louis doesn't count). (3/?)

Mr. Boring" was given by hateful people because he looks like that jock guy that wants to fuck you and leave you like a rag but we dont even know him. Nobody knows any of the boys so this is just a wrong thing. This could be his persona or the real him but what does that do you? Y'all really love to make him look bad with any ounce of being you have. This boy is much more than Mr. Boring but all of you fuck him up constantly so of course he comes of different. (4/?)

I wouldn't blame him, if people always told me I was the worst or boring, you will try not to be or shut everyone out. Cringeworthy lyrics? OH GOD YES! But some of his tracks on Lp1 aren't as much. Stack it Up sucked balls and I wish its death because it was horrible. Strip that down is that generic song you find in clubs which is fine. All his songs lack something for sure but they are still very good. (5/?)

Lyrics wise he said he didnt have inspiration to write which honestly I don't blame him, maybe he ain't a wordy person to open up and ask people to write shit for him and I dont blame him. He gave what he could and I'm proud of him. Yeah some lyrics are problematic af and I wish they worded it better or made it look less crappy but what can we do? (6/?)

A lot of artists write like that but no! LIAM JAMES PAYNE has to be hated on it as if he is the only one who does those kind of lyrics. Some artists have the same intentions but some aren't as straightforward but still, it's all the same. Plus, Rude Hours and Both Ways are like 2 songs and he gets dragged on repeat for it when there are good songs on the album. (7/?)

I hate his team for making 3 different albums with the target one with 2 bonus and the Japanese one with 3 extra bonuses and that sucks. His features should've been out of the album and have those 5 beautiful bonus songs in instead. The Christmas one should have been off the album. Stack it up was a failure from the start. (8/?)

I just wish people would stop hating on him and always drag him down. He is much more but I see what those people see because Liam ain't himself and he didnt give his 100% but he seems okay enough to have this album out and seems pretty proud so just give him some rest. This album ain't as bad people make it to be. People hate those 2 problematic songs and wont even listen to the other songs. (9/?)

And not everyone has the same music taste. I like "sexual" pop music and rock. His music are those generic sex songs and that isnt a bad thing. If he likes doing it, who is to tell him to not do that? Y'all really compare him to 1D Eras and the bandmates but they are different. Liam maybe likes these 'popular' shit and what does that do you? Liam is human. Liam is Liam. We cant do shit and he lives his life. Give him a break jeez.. (10/10) [sorry for this rant, you can hate me if you want to]

__________________

Okay anon I don’t hate you at all! This is well thought and I do agree with a lot of point you made here. I’ll try making a few comments by ask since this is big lmao

BTW SUPER IMPORTANT: don’t watch that video and don’t spread it! Report it if you feel like doing something about it. 

1. But what even is the Harry situation? Him saying that they aren’t best friends? Or that they have much in common? Because that’s understandable. Or is it the “harry’s clothes” comment of 2017 that harries keep bringing up when you can clearly see that Liam was just joking?

2. I do agree with you! The situation with the teenager just made things way worse for him. It added a lot of hate and it was completely unnecessary, especially how they keep bringing her up every single time and how she is always there!

3. I actually like his merch. I think it’s simple, but the white t-shirt is amazing. Sure the hoodies could have been more elaborated, but they’re super cozy! The thing I appreciate most about his merch is that it’s actually affordable. Btw I agree that it’s personal taste. His album is kind of cheap compared to other albums I've bought. 

4. But the thing for me is that Liam was never boring. He is smart and has a brilliant dark sense of humor. I think that some old 1d fans didn't like him much because he was always the spokesperson and had to say the shit nobody wanted to be said. People don’t seem to want to get past that to be honest with you! 

5. I agree with you! I really prefer Liam to shut up these fucking people with his success and what he wants to do that being an underwear campaign. Sure, some of the lyrics aren’t poetic shit, but there are others that are really deep and have some dark themes behind them. The songs aren’t bad at all in my opinion. SIU should have never been released, but I think we can all agree with that one!

6. I do think that Liam wasn’t 100% inspired, but I also feel like these are the songs we were supposed to get last year. They aren’t current if that makes sense, so of course some lyrics aren’t worded okay. 

7. I never thought it was a bad thing to use lyrics written by other people. That’s literally why songwriters exist! And a lot of people don’t write their own lyrics, but apparently it’s only bad for Liam to do it. I do agree! He is getting dragged for two songs. 

8. I don’t understand why they made three different albums. I understand wanting to keep the old songs because in terms of certifications/streams it gives him an advantage, but the extra songs are so damn good! They deserved more than this and he actually wrote on them. With the whole thing of the album I really don’t understand why AIWFC was added! 

9. I think you say it all with this part “This album ain’t as bad as people make it to be”. That’s the truth! I like the album and sure I'd do thing differently, probably. But I think people are judging the album based on BW and they are just going along with the hate. This album is exactly what Liam said it was going to be! A mix of songs that felt like a playlist with different genres.

10. It’s a personal taste thing again! I consume all kinds of music, I’m eclectic. I’ve been like that since I was a kid and learnt to play music. It isn’t bad that Liam is showing what kind of music he did and experimenting with different genres. For me it makes him a more complete artist to be honest with you! I really hate that they keep comparing them. Just let them all be whatever the fuck they want!!

In conclusion, I don’t understand the hate and I wish it would end.  

(Hope this answers you and don’t feel bad about ranting! It’s good to let it out.)

[paperclipninja]

Younger post-ep ramble 6x09

After the very public outing of Liza’s real age last week, it was no surprise that this week’s Younger episode, ‘Millennial’s Next Top Model’, was all about the fallout. In true Younger style we were treated to some unexpected twists and turns, saw Kelsey take control at work and in her personal life and welcomed back my #1 mega-villain who I hate-love fiercely, Quinn Tyler.  This ep was written by Grant Sloss, who is responsible for a number of my favourite episodes and lot of my fave moments in the series and one thing I am always blown away by is his ability to craft character interactions in which the sentiment and emotion are really palpable (plus the one-liners are always top of the game) and we certainly saw a number of those this week.  Even though Liza is 100% responsible for the position she now finds herself in, my heart went out to her this whole episode and Kelsey, Charles and Diana’s show of solidarity right from the get-go pretty much sums up everything I love about this show. 

I need to say upfront that while I know this episode is all about Liza, it is hands down my favourite episode of Kelsey’s in the series. In a time of real pressure and stress, we see Kelsey step up in the role of publisher, starting with the damage control team meeting in her office. I have big feelings about this opening moment, in which Diana proves why she is an actual Queen who rises above past grievances and now offers unwavering support of Liza while continuing to have zero time for Zane’s bullshit (the ‘well mercifully they have a paywall now’ to Zane’s New York Magazine tidbit was all of the yes). We learn of the deal with Infinitely 21 (was it just me or did anyone else get heart flutters at the thought of Kelsey, Diana and Liza being their brilliant selves and brokering that arrangement? Just me? Cool) and I have spoken of my love for the way this show parodies real life things but this might take the cake. Alexa, what are synonyms for ‘forever’? I just adore that it is very clear that Kelsey is in charge and that Charles and Diana are offering up potential solutions (Diana’s ‘rest her a bit’ is so in character I cannot. Between that and Charles’ thoroughbred thighs from season 4 I fully expect her to have a couple of horses upstate somewhere called Charles and Liza by the end of this series), meanwhile Zane clearly still hasn’t caught on to the fact that these three are not going to throw Liza under a bus.

Enter Liza as he’s ending his tirade about her poisoning the company (and lbh, what he is saying isn’t actually ridiculous from a business p.o.v but he’s talking about the best friend, girlfriend and (old) maid of honour of the people in the room) and it’s awkward af and pretty awful and I want to climb through my screen, wrap Liza in a blanket and tell her it’s all going to be ok. Zane’s extreme over-estimation of his importance in Liza’s life continues when he tells her that what he’s saying can’t be personal because ‘I don’t know who you are’ (worth it for Charles’ ‘Zane’ reprimand though amirite) and as I said after last week’s episode, I can’t even count on one hand the number of interactions Zane and Liza have had so yes Zane, that is accurate and nothing to do with her age reveal. At least once he discovered that Kelsey has known about the lie he FINALLY has a reason to be hurt (maybe? Still a little fuzzy on this one) and look Zane saying they’re all insane might be somewhat accurate but everyone in that room loves Liza and I love all of them so I felt personally attacked tbh.

Keeping with the stellar guest star casting this season, Shelly Rozansky (played by Annaleigh Ashford) is every kind of irritating as brand rep of Infinitely 21. Kelsey and Liza’s meeting with her, in which Shelly explains that 'the tea’ is that their authentic brand cannot be associated with Millennial’s inauthentic one (I love the moral high ground re: brand but I’m pretty sure Millennial doesn’t have factory workers making less than a living wage so…) and this very real ramification of Liza’s lie paves the way for one of Liza’s best moments on the show to date.

Taking that tea of Shelly’s and throwing it in her face, Liza’s monologue that 'everyone is pretending to be younger’ reaches it’s climax with the zinger, 'Millennial is not an age, it’s an attitude and if you can’t sell that, we’ll go somewhere else’, and Kelsey’s look of pride, same girl SAME. One thing I have commented on in the past is that as a '26 year old’ Liza rarely, if ever, really stood up for herself. The few times we’ve seen her do so have been as the forty year old who takes no crap from anyone (David, Charles, Don) so I am here times a million for strong ass Liza to finally shed that guilt, know her worth and be able to show this side of herself now that the lie is no longer in play (I feel like Diana will dig this very much).

Turns out Shelly was quite into Liza’s feisty outburst too ('what you screamed at me today, justifiably, we’re still friends promise…it resonated’ = award winning line/delivery combo), as she calls to let Liza know they’re going to unfreeze the partnership and asks Liza to be the face (and legs) of Infinitely 21’s Spring campaign. This phone call takes place in a very delicious looking cupcake shop where Liza and Charles are playing cards with his daughters in an all round delightful family situation that gives us a glimpse of the Miller-Brooks dynamic and makes the point that after a pretty terrible day, Liza is grateful to have this in her life to counter all the drama. I am also pleased to see that Bianca and Nicole have been located (meanwhile Caitlin, Beth and all of Josh’s friends remain stuck in the Upside Down or have become bunker people or something equally ominous I fear).

I am very into a number of aspects of this entire scene: a) Charles eating candy just up and gets me for some reason. I don’t know why, I can’t explain it, but it’s akin to seeing him walking round barefoot, it confuses my brain but I’m pretty sure I like it; b) Bianca is clearly the fave child with her cute little, 'I won’t take your last bag of candy Liza’ (lol at Charles’ 'wow’ when Liza offers that up for the taking btw, he knows that’s a serious gamble) though I was 100% Nicole as a kid; c) those kids are so not sleeping after all that sugar so I hope they’re staying at Pauline’s, while Charles’ dad game is strong with the breakfast cupcakes and; d) Charles kissing Liza on the cheek as she takes Shelly’s call is so damn sweet (pun intended) and supportive and I love that Liza suggesting he go stand with the girls in case she starts crying again indicates she has been an open mess around him. It’s writing like this that I really appreciate when there is so much to fit into an episode, because it provides insight into the kind of relationship Liza and Charles have when there simply isn’t time to show it.

While Liza is drowning her sorrows in candy and cupcakes, Maggie is at the brilliantly cringy art exhibit, 'Masculinity Detox: A Softer Male Gaze’. Look I have to be honest, I was really happy to see Oded Fehr because he can play a skeeze with charm like no other, but I don’t know how I feel about this entire plot. I can only comment on it from a straight perspective, so I am aware that I’m not really in a position to express an opinion in relation to the impact of showing a gay character thinking it’s a good idea to sample a penis every ten years or so, but I certainly feel like it’s problematic. In relation to this character though, it is consistent with Maggie sleeping with Tommy Minetti (and his sister Tammy) as a result of Berlin’s 'Take my Breath Away’ (I don’t know why I remember that, I can’t remember what month it is yet this stuff is right there) and there is no denying that there were actual sparks between Maggie and Rafael in the loft, the palpable chemistry that Grant Sloss’ eps seem to draw out on full display. 

Another dimension of Maggie that I love seeing emerge in this ep is that while she is usually a total badass in absolute control, every now and then we see that her judgement of character is just way off. There was Montana, those weirdo art collectors who actually collect artists and now this guy. I love that there’s a side of her that gets a bit blinded by flattery so she thinks 'what the hell?’ and the inevitable 'oh I CAN-NOT with this bullshit’ that follows, usually very publicly - Exhibit A: Maggie countering dirtbag Rafael’s, 'I’ll change you mind, I’m a flipper’ with a literal flip of the restaurant table once she realises she was simply another conquest. She seems so unflappable that these reminders that she’s fallible (I legit sometimes forget she’s not an actual super hero) are really great and maintains the 'flawed human’ aspect this show does so well. Honestly, other than Liza in a full tracksuit (sweat clothes?? I don’t know what it is in American but that cute pink sweat top and sweatpants combo) thinking they were being robbed and very confused by what had happened (so were we all lbh and Kinsey 9 LOL), it was Maggie equating sex with a man to being suffocated by a damp rug that was the highlight of this entire storyline for me. So damn funny.

Diana continues to have Liza’s back as she heads to the photo-shoot to steer her away from anything pleather (I may need a spin off of these two or some kind of one off special episode that’s just an elaborate Diana/Liza adventure, maybe rescuing Caitlin and co. from the bunker??), but not before we catch Kelsey still slaying it as a boss as she leaves a voicemail for the increasingly petulant Zane. Hearing her so firm and sure of herself is brilliant and the friendship vibe between Diana and Kelsey is peaking and I am loving every bit of it. I am so glad we heard Diana asking Kelsey how she took the lie, while Diana was able to forgive and move forward it would have been strange if we didn’t see her still processing some of it this week. Plus it’s Diana who points out that Zane’s tantrum is not because Liza is who he is upset with (and THANK YOU Kelsey for pointing out that Liza and Zane hardly know each other). 

Rather than letting the whole Zane thing fester away, Kelsey continues to impressively show initiative by going to Zane’s and offering to cook dinner (which Zane knows is a lol and it’s not long before he’s cooking, so well played Kels) to give him the opportunity to ask anything he wants and she will answer honestly. Once a proper explanation of why Liza lied and why Kelsey kept it from him is given, Zane suddenly reverts back to being a rational human being which is a relief because he was fast becoming the worst (though his comment that they were all bad liars, what now?? Yes they be cray but their lying game is strong friend). I am not particularly invested in Kelsey and Zane as a pairing but I always appreciate good storytelling and writing, and revisiting the fact Zane told her he loved her in past tense was an example of both of these. In order for any kind of relationship between these two to progress believably this needed to be addressed and hearing Kelsey call Zane out on his shitty and manipulative behaviour was great, but even greater was seeing Kelsey drop her guard.

Opening up about being mad at herself too and that maybe if they were both more open about their feelings they wouldn’t have wasted so much time denying how they really felt; that she felt, no, feels, the same way, present tense; the resetting of the timer so she can finish what she was going to say instead of taking the option of backing out; the honest conversation…you know what all this is? Growth. Kelsey Lorraine Peters, I am just so damn proud of you because I am the first to admit that I was not sure this character could be redeemed for me after last season but here we are. The emotion for this whole scene, you could feel it and Zane’s, 'oh that timer was for food’ was fab, before he just casually drops in, ’ I love you, but stay out of my kitchen’. OK.  Smitten mode activated.

Meanwhile, Diana is no doubt enjoying Shelly’s disbelief that she and Liza are almost the same age about as much as a root canal and Lauren appears with a 'bowflex for your face’ to combat the 5 o'clock jowls. Side note: Lauren and Liza really need to have a convo asap because I definitely feel like Lauren is not ok with the lie since it’s been revealed. Scene of the ep goes to Charles walking into the trailer (with flowers for Liza *swoon*) while Diana is flapping that contraption, before he slowly backs away and I tell you, I was howling so hard I almost ruptured something. Liza’s hideous romper/scooter combo is just no on many levels, she clearly feels super unnatural and the photographer snapping Charles and Liza, who are not expecting to be photographed while her being made up to look so young obviously makes them look very far apart in age and a bit awks means that yes, the daddy/daughter dance vibe is strong, though that line made me vom in my mouth a little bit.

Between shoots our extremely excellent villain Quinn pays Liza a visit to show her support and her well-polling glasses. Her real talk that the good news about the publishing reaction to Liza’s lie is that 'eight blocks outside of midtown, nobody cares’, is what we were all thinking and is def to be filed under 'G’ for Gold. So naturally Quinn drags her into a completely self-serving NY1 interview (bless Liza for thinking they wanted to interview her) and I freaking love Quinn, she’s such a delicious character coz she’s awful and funny and pretty and a total smart ass. I stan.

Before we jump to the second part of the photo-shoot I have to say that the very obvious ploy to try and juxtapose Liza’s relationships with Charles and Josh felt like it was trying too hard and was mostly disappointing to me because it felt so forced. I want to be very clear that it has nothing to do with who I like Liza with romantically, it would have felt contrived regardless and was the only aspect of the episode that I felt could have been crafted with a little more nuance. Or maybe that was the point? Perhaps the obviousness was part of the humour of it *shrug emoji* 

Either way, Liza is looking pretty exhausted when Josh turns up at the bar photo-shoot for reasons (whose name I am betting is Lauren Heller because there is no way he would just turn up and it is 100% in her wheelhouse to send him along after seeing the expressions on her face at the earlier shoot. I feel like this will def come out at some point and that really this whole shoot is serving to bring about stuff in future eps) and he doesn’t get to explain why he is there because he’s teasing Liza about being a model and I really do love their banter. Shelly has no idea what’s happening but she likes it and is thirsting pretty hard as she shakes his hand and I enjoyed hearing Liza talk about Josh as patient zero, her 'would you correct him?’ as she squeezed his cheeks made me smile. I know there have been a LOT of feelings about this scene expressed on social media, but I found the reminiscing, as Josh talked about how when he first met Liza he thought she was smart and sexy and he wanted to keep talking to her, really sweet (and quickly countered by his joking about being really drunk and it being dark).  

I actually love this dynamic so much and if this show had moved these two properly into the friendzone I would be celebrating this as a pin-up example of how to show romantic-platonic relationship transition. I still may, because at this stage there is nothing to indicate that Liza is anything but committed to Charles and Josh gave no impression of pining for her IMO, but as an experienced TV connoisseur (aka obsessive tv show watcher) I am not naive enough to think that this interaction mightn’t be setting in motion a resurgence of the triangle. By the same token, I do not see any triangle in play at the moment and one thing this show does excel at is surprising us, so time will tell, but I am going to keep my faith in the writers to tell good, compelling stories that stay true to all the excellent characters and narratives they have in front of them, as they have done up until now.

While Liza’s colleagues aren’t going to throw her under a bus, Quinn is not only more than happy to, I’m pretty sure she’d drive the bus herself if it served her own self interest.  Quinn saying that she found out about Liza’s lie the week before in The New Yorker article, ooomph, did you feel that? It was the wind being knocked out of all of us, along with poor Liza, as Quinn counters Liza’s suggestion that she knew the truth before she invested on live TV. It was evident fairly quickly that Quinn was using the interview as a campaign platform and Liza’s expression as Quinn betrays her so publicly is yet another credit to Sutton Foster’s incredible talent.

My Kelsey love was brought home this week when she met Quinn following the NY1 interview. She is unrelenting in her backing of Liza and unwavering in her stance to Quinn when she is asks her to fire Liza. From the moment she arrives Kelsey is so kick ass, she sees every one of Quinn’s attempts to bully her into getting what she wants and Kelsey’s, 'please don’t minimise the strength I bring to this meeting’ was such a hell yes moment. There is something so satisfying about seeing Quinn in a position where she needs something from Kelsey and Kelsey standing so firm. Kelsey’s 'are we done here?’ before walking away was such a power move and the transition into her own office the next day, with Charles reassuring her that she did the right thing, was wonderful. Seeing these two as equals, talking business with a bit of a mentor/mentee dynamic is a dream. It was on my season 6 wish list and I can’t wait to see more of it.

It is upon discovering that Audrey Colbert’s manuscript delivery cheque bounced and that Diana just heard one of the Jennifer’s, the sloppy one from publicity (this line, I swear and also I need to meet her), say her direct deposit didn’t go through that we discover Quinn has thrown the ultimate tantrum and pulled her funding and Mercurennial is broke.

Poor Liza feels that it’s all her fault, I’m sure partly because of the way her colleagues turn and look at her when she walks in the office and partly because it is, but Charles continues to play the role of ultimate supportive partner as they stroll down the street after work, pointing out that Liza attracted Quinn to the company in the first place (and we ALL know it was not the company she was attracted to). I am simple folk and Charles saying he’s spoken for as he put his arm around her made me melt into a puddle and if anyone is feeling concerned about Liza’s level of besotted, watch this final scene as Charles reassures her that, 'you know what’s great about the worst thing happening? There’s no place to go but up. Only good things ahead’. I may have actually died from the sweetness of the entire thing and Liza does exactly what any self respecting person would in that situation and kisses him before they walk off hand in hand. To live happily ever after…jokes LOL I mean it’s television and it turns out Infinitely 21 has the most efficient marketing team on the planet because their campaign is launched and whattya know, it looks as though Liza and her ex will be plastered all over the city. 

File under 'O’ for OF COURSE.