#i’ll be real… i was so nervous about posting this for no good reason

[exergalactic]

ok i got an info dump are you guys ready—

Gideon didn’t MEAN to have Gaelle, but when he realized what was happening, for once in his life Gideon felt a very specific emotion he was never familiar with:

the need to protect something because he genuinely cared about it. something so warm and loving to such an innocent little thing…

… and he HATED it.

 He hated being plagued with something his own head prevented him from feeling for SO long. Hes not used to it, it hurts twice as much now than it would have. He hated that this little thing he didn’t ask for had him wrapped around her finger. At first, he wished he didn’t love her so much. He wished that he could just drop her somewhere and run away without feeling bad about it. Then realized later maybe he wouldn’t go back on this if he had the choice.

Why? He can’t really answer that. 

Maybe it’s because she’s an extension of him, maybe it was an instinctual reaction because, technically speaking, she’s his biological child, maybe he’ll never really know.

(things are about to get REALLY unhinged i’m not even gonna play with yall but i SWEAR that i have thought about this through)

Well, some people guessed that Gaelle was made artificially, that she’s a clone of sorts. And both are correct assumptions, But that’s not really the full of it— 

You might wonder, if he wasn’t trying to make a kid, then what WAS he doing? 

Well see, Gaelle is kinda the… results of two negatives if you get what i’m putting down.

Him, or his DNA rather. And the glow.

His immunity he was curious about (that he wasn’t willing to admit was an issue), instead, manifested feelings he never got to have… into a tiny little thing. He thought what was about him had to be something predetermined, as it had ALWAYS been the case. Something he wasn’t sure exactly how the glow could have affected her, if at all if she was anything like him.

I’ll get into exactly how that worked later, but I think making a visual aid for it will be more helpful. 

[angelicsoka]

YOU’RE SOMEBODY ELSE, t. zegras & h. brothers

part two <3

word count | 1.4k

pairings | trevor zegras x fem!hughes!reader, platonic!luke hughes x sister!reader, platonic!quinn hughes x sister!reader, platonic!jack hughes x sister!reader, 

summary | the youngest hughes sibling is slowly becoming someone she can’t recognize

warnings | mentions of self-harm, suicidal ideation, and depression. ANGST. not proofread. this is not a very happy fic, based on the song you’re somebody else by flora cash. no use of "y/n". lowercase intended. uses of the nicknames for reader include: miss sunshine, bub, & kid

a/n | i’m surprised with how my other post turned out, i definitely was not expecting that lol. here's another sad fic, based on another sad song. i wrote this at 1 am when i couldn’t sleep, so i apologize if this sucks. 

you held the balance of the time

that only blindly i could read you

but i could read you

it's like you told me

go forward slowly

it's not a race to the end

she was their sunshine. the youngest hughes sibling and luke’s twin sister was an open book. she wore her heart on her sleeve, and was the sweetest soul around. she had her brothers  wrapped around her finger, and it didn’t take long for trevor zegras to fall for her enchanting smile. he made her happy, something only her family had ever truly achieved. quinn remembered the moment she ran into his room, threw herself on his bed as she squealed: “quinny, i think i’m in love!”

quinn held a soft smile on his face as she went on and on about the date trevor had taken her on. she had trusted him to hold this secret until the couple was ready to tell the two other hughes brothers, who would more than likely overreact. “well, bub, i’m happy for you, but if he hurts you, you tell me and i’ll break his face.” quinn promised, laughing when she hit his shoulder in retaliation. 

“please, as if!” she laughed, getting up to hug quinn. “thanks, quinny. i love you.”

“i love you too, kid.” quinn watched as she practically bounced out of his room. she was so clearly in love, blinded by it even. maybe that's where everything went wrong. maybe they moved too fast, maybe she needed to learn to truly love herself before she could truly love him.

you were the better part

of every bit of beating heart that i had

whatever i had

i finally sat alone

pitch black flesh and bone

couldn't believe that you were gone

trevor zegras loved her, he loved her more than he thought he would ever be able to love someone. and it wasn’t that she didn't love him, it was that she didn't love herself. she made trevor a better person, made him want to do right by others. if she had taken the time to take care of herself like she had taken care of everyone else, maybe they could’ve made it. maybe, he had loved her too much. maybe, they were doomed from the start.

now, trevor was alone, unsure of what to do. she had left him, claiming that she wasn’t ready. that she loved him, but she could never love him like how he loved her. that she didn’t know how to love herself, so how could she love him? still, trevor blamed himself. he was angry that he couldn’t have shown her how much good she brought to this cruel world. he spent too many nights stuck in thought about her, about how things could’ve been different.

she spent too many nights stuck in thought about how the world would be better without her. about how things would be better for everyone if she was gone.

well, you look like yourself

but you're somebody else

only it ain't on the surface

well, you talk like yourself

no, i hear someone else though

now you're making me nervous

change is inevitable. it is bound to happen, yet the youngest hughes sibling feared change. she felt herself becoming a person she could no longer recognize, it was like her body was a house that had been intruded by unwelcome visitors. she looked the same, yet she had changed so much. 

she never told her brothers the real reason she had broken up with trevor, instead she simply told them they had grown apart. however, one look at trevor zegras told them it was more than just that. it was after that they began to notice the subtle changes in her: the joyous laughs that use to fill the lake house were much more quiet and less frequent, and her smile never quite met her eyes.

it was after luke caught a glimpse of the scars that littered his twin’s thighs and stomach that they knew it was serious. luke tried to talk to her, to figure out what was going on but she would find anyway to divert the conversation, to get away from the inevitable change.

luke led his twin into the basement where quinn and jack were waiting. he had promised a movie night, just him and his sister and god, did he feel guilty about what he was about to do. he quickly shut the door, blocking her only way out. the look on her face made him want to break down. the once bright, bubbly girl looked nervous and so very tired. tired like she knew she couldn’t keep going like this without telling someone.

she took one look at her older brothers before breaking down in sobs. luke was quick to embrace her, jack and quinn on their feet in an instant. the words tumbled out, the need to tell someone being so unbearably overwhelming.

“i can’t do it anymore. i can’t keep living like this. i can’t look in a fucking mirror because i hate myself! i hate how i look, the way i talk and laugh! that’s why i do this to myself because i fucking deserve it!” she rolled up her sleeve, revealing the healing scars.

 “there’s this fucking war going on in my head and i’m losing. i can’t keep going, i don’t wanna keep going! i wish that i could go back to when i was a kid, to when i wasn’t so fucked in the head.” the words just kept coming, as well as the tears. she couldn’t see it, but her brothers were in shambles at this revelation. the fact that their sister hated herself so much she would physically hurt herself, that she couldn’t see how much she meant to them. “maybe i’m just better off dead.”

“don’t say that, don’t you ever fucking say that or even think that.” luke pulled back, looking to his sister. 

“bub, why didn’t you tell us you felt this way?” quinn questioned, watching as she took the tissue jack offered her. she sat on the couch, pulling her knees to her chest. jack sat beside her, looking at her with teary eyes. luke was on her other side, his arm wrapped around her shoulders. quinn sat in front of her, a broken look on his face; he was the oldest of them all, he was supposed to protect them. why couldn’t he have protected her from this?

“i didn’t want to be a burden.” she sniffled, avoiding eye contact. jack scoffed beside her, pulling her gaze to him. 

“you? a burden? miss sunshine, you could never be a burden. your feelings are not a burden.” she felt relieved, glad that she would not have to carry this weight alone. tears began to cascade down her face as she allowed jack to hug her. she cried as her twin and oldest brother joined.

“you are so loved, miss sunshine. so fucking loved.” quinn kissed her forehead, a smile creeping on to her face. 

“thank you.” she rasped out, drying her eyes. she fell silent for a moment, deep in thought. “i was promised a movie night…” she trailed off, a smile adorning her face. this time it reached her eyes. “but first, i have someone i need to talk to.”

she stood up, walking to the basement bathroom. she closed the door behind her, taking a seat on the lid of the toilet. she dialed a number on her phone, hesitating slightly before she hit the call button. it rang a couple times before he picked up. “hey, z, you busy?”

“are you alright?”

“yeah, yeah, i’m okay. just really needed to hear your voice.” she smiled, even though he couldn’t see it.

“are you sure you’re okay?” he questioned, concern clear in his voice.

“yeah, i'll explain everything when you get here next week, i just needed to hear your voice.” she heard distant voices on his end, followed by rustling as he pulled the phone away from his ear. 

“i’m sorry, but i gotta go.” he sounded upset, still clearly very concerned about her.

“that's okay, z. uh, before you go, i’m sorry... about everything.”

“its okay, it'll all be okay.” more distant voices could be heard, “i gotta go, i love you.” he ended the call, probably not realizing what he had said. it was in that moment, she knew everything would be alright.

i saw the part of you

that only when you're older, 

you will see too

you will see too

[gurugirl]

coming soon to tumblr | handyman!harry

821 word teaser - 10k+ one shot already posted on Patreon.

One shot summary: When you inherit your aunt's estate after she passes away, you hire Harry to fix up the old house but that's not all he winds up being good for. Based on this request.

. . .

Everything flowed so nicely with Harry. He was easy to talk to and you trusted that he knew what he was doing. And it didn’t hurt that his voice was soothing and deep and slow. You could listen to him talk about solid hardwood versus engineered hardwood all day long if he let you.

“Well, I’ll be heading out now I guess. Be back first thing in the morning and start on this porch.”

You walked him to his big truck and shook his hand again, thanking him for taking the job and feeling a bit overwhelmed and emotional at everything.

Overwhelmed because Harry was so genuinely kind and you knew immediately you could trust him completely. Which just added to his charm and sex appeal. You really tried to push down the fact that he was so stunningly attractive because that wasn’t going to do you any good. And even though Mr. George told you he was single, you couldn’t imagine that was true. Someone as yummy-looking and kind-hearted as Harry? There was no way he wasn’t at least seeing someone.

But you were also emotional because you were finally going to get to see your aunt Gayla’s house restored to its original glory. It was going to be a real labor of love but it felt so good to be doing it. You had never felt so sure you were on the right path in life until that day. Until Harry arrived with his big truck and assured you that you’d get everything you wanted and that it would end up being even better than before.

And for the first time since you moved into that old house, you sat down and began to write. You’d gotten nearly ten thousand words written and were awake well into the wee hours of the morning typing away with the sudden inspiration you’d gotten. You fell asleep with your laptop next to you when you couldn’t hold your eyes open any longer.

You were woken to the sound of pounding and clanking and creaking which had you startled as you sat up in your bed and looked around your bedroom. The sun filled the space with light and you picked up your cellphone to note the time and saw a missed call from Harry.

Wrapping your robe around yourself you ran down the stairs all frazzled and rushed and burst onto the front porch, tripping over a stack of fresh boards and landing on your knees and palms like an idiot.

“Hey… hey…” you heard Harry’s deep voice from behind you as he slid his hands under your arms to help you up, “You okay?”

“Oh my god…” you croaked out the first words of the day from your throat, “I just woke up and realized you were here and… Sorry!”

He turned you to face him and looked down over your knees and lifted your palms upward to inspect, “Let’s get you cleaned up. Took quite the spill there. Sorry, I shouldn’t have stacked those boards right there.”

You felt your heart calm as he led you into your kitchen. He was so gentle with you, which for some reason you hadn’t expected. You knew he was kind but this seemed very much outside of the scope of his job description, “No, it’s fine! It’s me. I’d probably trip over the boards no matter where you had them stacked. I’m a bit of a nervous nelly. And when I woke up I just… I was startled. Fell asleep late and didn’t set an alarm…”

Harry grinned at you as you ran your faucet and put your hands under it, “It’s fine. No need to rush or get all riled up. I got here a bit early and when you didn’t answer I just figured I’d start on the porch. Think I’ll replace your doorbell as well. It’s not working either.”

You dried your hands and smiled at Harry, “I’ll get you a key before you leave today. In case I’m not here or I’m sleeping again. Sorry… I just had this burst of inspiration last night and typed until I passed out. It’s…”

“You’re fine,” you watched his eyes drop down to your torso and then bounce back up quickly to your face.

When you looked down at yourself you realized your robe was twisted and while all your bits were covered, they were barely covered.

“Jesus fucking Christ… I’m sorry, Harry. I’m a mess…” you pulled the material into place and adjusted the robe.

Harry put his hands at the tops of your arms, “Hey… you’re fine. Take a breath. It’s a beautiful morning and the birds are singing, and just look at this view…” he motioned toward your window where you could see trees and lush green grass stretch along the front of the house, “Now… Do you have some alcohol to clean up the cuts on your knees?”

. . .

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[frankenkyle19]

Sweet Pain

Kai Anderson x virgin!reader smut

word count: 2.3k

my first ever actual Kai smut and… I kinda hate it but I’m not gonna waste 2.3k words and three days of my life to not post it

warnings: Uhm Kai… blowjobs, forceful Kai, unprotected sex, loss of virginity

Kai wasn’t exactly one to be gentle. He just wasn’t. It wasn’t in his nature. You’d known Kai for many months. Had been his first ‘follower’ as he called you. You would have liked to at least be called a friend. That’s what you were, right? Friends? You’d been there for Kai since day one. Supported him in everything he did, made sure he always had food, and anything else he needed, all to just be called a follower?

It hurt. It hurt to see him treat you like nothing when you were there before everyone else. The only real person who came before you was his own sister. Winter. Now don’t get it wrong, he could be nice when he wanted to, but it was usually for his gain. He wasn’t just nice for the hell of it. 

But one thing was for sure. You were his. His alone. His little lamb. No matter how hard it was for him to show it, he did love you in some way. 

The one thing he hadn’t done yet was make love to you. Or…well, fuck you. You were a virgin, and you made that known. Kai wasn’t worried about that. He could take you anytime he wanted to, so it wasn’t for your sake that he waited. 

He wanted you so tightly wrapped around his finger that getting to take your virginity was just the icing on his odd, cultish cake.

And that’s exactly what he did.

After one of many weekly meetings with his followers, he asked you to stay behind. You swallowed hard, a swell of nervousness rising up inside. You knew you hadn’t done anything wrong, so why were you still so nervous? Maybe because it was Kai. You never knew what to expect from him. He was unpredictable.

“Little lamb, why are you so nervous?” He asked with a chuckle, smoothing his bright blue hair out of his face as his eyes scanned your body. You weren’t sure you liked the way he was looking at you right now. It was almost predatory.

“I just… I’m not in trouble am I?” You asked, swallowing hard as you felt your voice shake.

“Why would you be in trouble, little lamb. Unless…” he began, taking a step towards you “you did something wrong?” He asked curiously 

“No! No I didn’t… I didn’t do anything wrong I just-“

“Then you have nothing to be afraid of. I just want to talk to you.” He said gently. It was odd. His voice didn’t match his posture or expression. It was too… sweet. Almost a fake kind of sweet.

He carefully brushed his hand down your cheek, forcing you to look at him. Without a word he took your hand and led you upstairs. You figured you’d talk in the living room, but he led you up another flight of stairs and to his room. A shudder ran through you. What was he planning?

“Kai I- I don’t-“ he hushed you dismissively, closing the door behind you, and much to your worry, locked it too. There was no good reason why he would lock it. 

“Get on the bed for me.” He said sternly, beginning to take off his jacket 

“Woah- woah what are you d-doing?” You backed up until you hit the bed, having no choice but to sit. 

“I’m going to take you to bed. Isn’t that obvious? You’re smart aren’t you dear?” He chuckled, lifting off his shirt and revealing his toned, milky body. 

“What?” Your eyes were wide as you looked up at him, now hovering over you, hands on his belt buckle.

“But I’m a-“

“Virgin, yes I know. I’m well aware, but after tonight you won’t be.”

His words nearly made your heart stop. He was going to take your virginity? After all these months, all this time longing for him? After begging for any scrap of his attention?

You just nodded slowly, because at this point did you even really have a choice? It was Kai here, he wouldn’t care if you fought him. If he wanted something, he was going to get it. 

“I’ll be gentle with you this one time, since it’s your first. But don’t expect anything after that. Got it?” 

All you could do was nod, unable to find words. Your eyes locked onto his hands that were deftly undoing his belt, sliding it through the loops in his pants before tossing it onto the floor. One step closer you thought.

“Now my little lamb, you’re going to be a good girl and take my cock, yes? Yes, you’ll be my good girl.” Oh god, his voice. His fucking voice. It was so rough, so deep. 

“You’re going to be polite, and you’re going to do everything daddy tells you to, got it? Or else I’ll have to punish you, and I don’t want to have to do that..” he trailed off, unbuttoning and unzipping his jeans, pulling them down to his knees. 

“Yes K-Kai…” you muttered. Kai wasn’t happy with that answer. He slammed you against the bed, crawling on top of you as he practically ripped off your shirt. You wanted to squirm away, but he held you so tight that you couldn’t get out of his grip. 

“You’re- y-you’re hurting me-'' you cried, looking up at him with wide eyes, for the first time, truly afraid of the man on top of you. 

“You can call me a lot of things in bed. Kai isn't one of them.” He growled, breath hot against your face.

“Daddy for example.. or divine ruler.” He put extra emphasis on the latter, which could only make you assume he preferred that one.

“I-I’m sorry d-divine ruler-“ you sniffled, eyes welling with tears as you swallowed hard. Much to your relief, Kai let up, letting go of you and sitting up.

“I think I know a better way for you to apologize.” He grinned, pulling his boxers down. You couldn’t help but glance down… and what you saw made your core flutter.

His cock was thick, hard, and leaking pre-cum from the tip. His large hand was wrapped around it, stroking it slowly as he watched you watch him.

“Well…?” He said, looking at you like you were stupid. And maybe you were. Maybe you were stupid for even being with him. For being in this situation. But right now all you could think about was his thick cock down your throat.

You carefully reached a hand out to stroke him, his length so girthy that your fingers barely reached fully around it. It was definitely going to hurt when he put it inside of you. If it even fits, that is.

You lowered your quivering lips to the tip of his cock, pressing a gentle kiss to it. You weren’t exactly scared, just… a bit nervous. You hadn’t done anything like this before and you weren’t exactly sure what to expect. Especially with Kai.

Kai hummed his approval, looking down at you as he tapped his thick cock head against your lips, urging you on.

“Come on baby, be a good girl for me, yeah? Be so good and maybe you’ll get rewarded.” 

You had no choice but to listen. Kai was like a drug. Addictive. You couldn’t just stop. That’s not how it worked with him.

You enveloped the head of his cock between your lips, sucking on it like a lollipop. That’s what you’d seen in the very few porn videos you’d watched. 

You felt a bit better about it all when Kai groaned above you, adam’s apple bobbing in his throat as he tilted his head back again. He looked sinful. Beautiful. 

“Goooood fucking girl. Keep going, choke on it.” And you did. Kai pushed into your mouth further, causing your throat to close up and your gag reflex to start. He didn’t care, nor did he stop. He fucked into your throat, holding your hair tightly in his grip as he let his cock slide in and out of your awaiting mouth. You were sure your throat would be bruised after this all. 

This went on for a few minutes before Kai seemed satisfied. Tears fell down your face, smudging your mascara. Your lips were puffy and swollen, and your throat was scratchy, a lingering taste of… man on your tongue.

“Very good girl for me, for your divine ruler.” He crawled back over you again, hands roaming across your body as his deft fingers unbuttoned your pants, pulling them off in one quick motion. You suddenly felt very vulnerable in only your bra and panties.

“Don’t hide from me, you’re gorgeous.” He spoke, seeming to sense your embarrassment. He seemed to know everything. Always one step ahead.

He nearly ripped your panties off as he tugged them down your legs, leaving your lower half completely bare to him. Exposed. Your heart fluttered hard in your chest, beating a million miles a minute as you tried to keep your legs closed.

Kai clicked his tongue in distaste, immediately shoving his way between your thighs, placing his thick cock head at your entrance. That’s when you realized he wasn’t even going to prep you on his fingers first. What an asshole.

“K-Kai-i'm not-“ you tried to speak, but he dismissed you, his dick brushing against your clit which sent a pleasurable spark through your body. It was soon diminished by the searing pain of him stretching you completely open on his cock.

“Hush my little lamb. You were made for this. Made to take me. Take my seed.” He whispered against your ear, breathing labored as he continued to push into you.

Your eyes were squeezed shut, a few tears managing to slip as you cried quietly. It hurt. It was an odd pain. One that wasn’t easily explained. Almost searing, but dull. Not completely unbearable but not nice either.

“Gooooood fucking girl.” He cooed, the praise making you perk up a bit. He had pushed himself into the hilt and was just resting against you, being nice enough to let you adjust. 

He didn’t kiss you. Didn’t really do anything, just waited a few minutes to give you the chance to calm yourself. To adjust to the foreign feeling of him inside of you.

He did finally pull out and you glanced down between your bodies, gasping as you saw his cock was covered in a thin layer of blood. Your blood. You were bleeding.

“K-Kai-“ he could have reprimanded you for using his name, but he sensed your worry and shook his head, hands rubbing over your thighs comfortingly.

“It’s normal.” He said casually, beginning to rock back into you gently, a grunt falling from his lips.

“Not all women bleed. Some do. It just depends.” He whispered, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

This really was a new side of Kai you hadn’t seen before. He was careful. Caring. Gentle. Attentive.

“There we go, you’re loosening up, feel it?” He thrust into you a bit more and you gasped. It still hurt a bit, but there was something else too. A tingling sensation, a pleasurable buzz. It felt good.

Kai began to find a steady rhythm. In and out, in and out, in and out. Over and over and over. Each time he thrust full into you, his pelvis brushed against your clit, and it felt so so good. His cock didn’t feel magical, it just made you feel very very full. It was an interesting feeling that would surely take some getting used to to truly enjoy.

Kai was beginning to fall apart above you, you could tell. His face was scrunched up, his hips were beginning to falter, and he was letting out groans and moans left and right.

“Fuck, that’s it, so good baby girl, being so good for your divine ruler. Bet you’d do anything I asked, huh?” Jesus, he talked a lot. He never shut up it seemed, but you found yourself not minding. 

His hand reached down between the two of you and a look of confusion crossed your face before you realized what he was doing. The pleasure suddenly felt 10x stronger as his thumb circled your clit, applying just the right amount of pleasure to get you trembling.

“I feel- I- I feel-“ you stuttered, unable to exactly describe it. You felt like you were going to orgasm, but with Kai inside of you it felt… different. Stronger in a way.

Your pussy began to clench around his length, the slick squelching sounds filling the room along with Kai’s pants and mumbles under his breath.

You didn’t even see it coming. Didn’t have time to brace yourself before your orgasm was crashing over you like a tsunami. Wave after wave. You felt like you were drowning. It was hard to breathe. You’d never felt such pleasure in your life.

As you came down from your high, you were briefly aware of Kai’s final, loud moan before he stilled inside of you, filling you up with his warm seed. It felt so nice that you almost forgot that he hadn’t worn a condom and had just come inside of you…

“Kai you just-“

“I know. And if this goes according to my plan, you will be the mother to my messiah baby.” You were so hazy that you barely processed his words. You just nodded, relaxing into the bed. You’d clean up later. You were too tired to get up and even if you found the strength, you figured your legs would give out on you.

You’d surely be sore in the morning, and maybe even… pregnant? But you guess it had all been worth it, getting to have your virginity taken by your very own divine ruler.

[sportswriters]

dating a rival - j. swayman

pairing: jeremy swayman x reader | suggestive, a bit smutty | established relationship | wc: 729 | warnings: swearing, dirty talking, sub!jeremy

welcome post!

dating a rival wasn’t easy. when you had to move from north carolina to boston for a job opportunity, being present as a carolina hurricanes fan became impossible. you cheered from the comfort of your home, missing the energy that only raleigh could build at the pnc arena. game day. you were split between your home team and your boyfriend’s performance. the hardest thing to deal was that jeremy couldn’t help being a fucking great goalie. the bruins weren't doing that well, but jeremy blocked every single shot from the opponent. frustrated groans left your mouth the whole game. no water, no pacing around, no hair grabbing were enough to calm you down.

“fuck. jer, why do you have to be so good?” you muttered, answering yourself seconds after, “yeah, that’s what caught my attention in the first place. fuck.”

he texted you as soon as he finished his interview, so you called him.

“hi, baby! congrats on the win, i’m so proud of you for dealing with the canes all by yourself!”

he laughed, knowing how pissed off you probably were for the loss.

“thank you, love. how are you feeling? don’t pretend to be only happy for me.”

“it was a great game, i’m proud of my other goalie too, okay?” you sighed. “you should come over, i’m gonna get us some food. it’s gonna be delivery, though. i have no brain cells left to cook.”

“no plans on poisoning my food?” he joked.

“i have some plans for you, but none of them are deadly.” you bit your lip, trying to contain yourself. lowering your voice, almost as a whisper, you said:  “come over.”

jeremy froze on the other side of the line.

“okay. be there soon.”

after dinner, you talked about the game from two different perspectives. it was chill, a moment to catch up as a couple, some laughs and all of that. but deep inside jeremy couldn’t stop thinking about the real reason you’d invited him over. couldn’t stop thinking of having you all over him tonight after this win.

“i can see your thoughts working, jer. do you want to say something else?”

“i was wondering if you, hum, if you had something other than dinner in mind.”

you tilted your head, faking a confusion jeremy didn’t notice because of how nervous he was.

“well, in fact, i was thinking of congratulating you. but i didn’t want to jump right into it.”

jeremy nodded.

“do you want that right now?”

he was trying to put himself together, finding it hard to do such a thing when your eagle eyes were watching him like that.

“tell me what you had in mind.”

you got up from your cuddling position to sit on his lap. with a soft caress on his bearded cheek, you said: “i’m really proud of you. i’m proud of how fucking great you were out there.” you gave him a peck, his eyes didn’t lose focus once. “so, this is how it’s going to be… i’m going to give you everything you deserve, you’ll decide what it is. i’ll give you everything you want, jer, because you worked for it.”

you adjusted yourself on his lap, getting a helpless moan from him. he was gone already.

“i need you to tell me what you want, baby, i need your words.” your voice turned into a whisper as you got close to his ear, leaving soft kisses on the side of his neck. “want me to start by sucking your cock? let you go all the way down my throat? or do you want me to slide over it right now? i could let you come inside, you know? i think it’s a proper special occasion.”

you could feel him hardening. all the talking with soft kisses were leaving his mind blurred.

“jer, i need your words. this time it should be all about you, then in my turn i would get what i deserve. don’t you think that’s fair enough?” you grabbed his chin, facing his fucked up expression.

you waited for his response, noticing his every move. it was fun to have him like this once in a while, you were going to enjoy every step of the long way.

“please, just… just kiss me and we’ll go from there, okay?” he gulped. “just fucking kiss me right now.”

[mbappeslover]

écoute chérie // kylian mbappé | part one.

kylian mbappé x f! reader.

saw this edit on tiktok, they edited mbappé to écoute chérie by vendredi sur mer and… i fell in love. the song is sooo mbappé.

y/n got the job as kylian’s personal assistant. his previous assistant fired for unknown reasons. y/n had heard about kylian mbappé and his terrible attitude. she wasn’t excited to work with him. but, turns out.. he’s actually not that bad.

read part 2 here.

read the finale here.

credits to the editor: strkvoid on tiktok, they did such an amazing job <3, my favorite mbappé edit.

“y/n y/l/n, you’ve been accepted!” the notification pinged and appeared at the top of your screen. you clicked on it so fast.

one week ago.

“y/n, have you seen this? kylian mbappé’s management is looking for a new personal assistant.” your friend tells you during a phone call.

“oh really?” you ask.

“yes… and, you qualify for it! like a 100 percent. wait, i’m gonna send you the link.”

you received the message and clicked on the link, it was indeed an exclusive offer/application to becoming the footballer’s new personal assistant.

“y/n, you should really go for it. the pay is amazing and i’m sure it’ll be an awesome experience.”

you skim through the countless pages and listing of requirements and benefits the job offered. plus, you were indeed qualified for the job.

“mmm… i don’t know. everyone talks about how much of an asshole kylian mbappé is. how he’s a jackass with a shitty attitude and an unbearable ego, bigger than the universe.” you explain, iffy about this whole thing.

“oh please, it’s not like you’re gonna be all lovey dovey with the guy. imagine how much money you’ll be making. you want to quit your current job right now anyway.” your friend says, trying her hardest to convince you.

you laugh. “okay, you’re right. i’ll call you back, i’m gonna read through all the paper work, submit my résumé and update you on it.”

you weren’t too serious about it, you doubted that you’d actually get the job.

everything just got real. definitely serious.

you got the job, you were on call with the footballer’s management, and you were now getting familiarized with his schedule.

“alright, ms. y/l/n, we’ve spoken through all the things you’ll be needing to do for kylian. i’ve sent you an email of a file that lists all the things you must do for him. now, all we need is for you to sign a few things. it’ll take you about ten minutes. it wasn’t much before but… some things went down. so, we had to make a few arrangements.” kylian’s manager stated.

you just nod taking everything in and trying to process it at once.

you heard the ping from your phone, signaling you got the email.

“okay, perfect. today, i’ll show you around psg and tomorrow you’ll be meeting kylian.”

a tour guide took you around the stadium, briefly explaining different areas and rooms in the building to you.

it was a long day. you were now in bed, aimlessly scrolling on instagram because you couldn’t sleep.

you’re nervous. why?

the athlete you’ll be attending to is possibly the biggest asshole in paris, france and you’re gonna have to deal with it.

you decide to go on his instagram.

“k. mbappé, 94.1m Followers, 389 Following, 1204 posts.”

you click on the first photo presented and begin scrolling down.

in almost all photos he’s smiling, with a caption full of emojis and empowering words.

he looks so… sweet?

is this the same guy with the so-called “bad attitude?”

you fell asleep.

after scrolling through all one thousand, two hundred and four posts by kylian mbappé.

your alarm rang, loudly.

you groaned, getting up to prepare yourself for the day.

after getting dressed, you received a call from kylian’s manager.

“good mornin-“ you tried greeting politely, before cut off.

“good morning dear, i need you here in ten minutes.”

“it’s only 9:00, i was told to be there at 9:30. did something happen?” you ask, exasperated.

“yeah, well, kylian decided to come earlier than we thought and right now, he wants an organic green juice from le juice. it has to be from juicerie.” the manager explains.

“le juice is like fifteen minutes from where i am right now, how will i be able to make it in ten?” you say, slightly panicking.

“well, find a way. mbappé cares about his health, a lot. all that stuff about nutrition and good food is the key to health. if you didn’t know, now you do. be here in ten, please darling!” the managers says in a cheery voice before hanging up.

first day on the job and they were already trying to make the impossible, possible.

you quickly go on the website for le juice and order and paid online for a medium organic green juice for pick-up.

you catch a taxi and head over to le juice. it was a five minute drive because it was still a bit early and the streets hadn’t start to fill yet, luckily.

you ask the taxi driver if they could wait for a quick second while you grab the order from inside.

the taxi driver fussed a bit yet ultimately decided to wait.

again, you were able to swipe up the juice since the shop just opened and customer didn’t pile up in the juice bar.

you hop back in the taxi and make your way to the stadium.

“tsk, your first day on the job and you’re seven minutes late. you better hurry up and get in there.” the manager scolds you once you arrive, outside the office room of psg.

“well, you should’ve told me i would have to be here earlier, you cunt.”

you didn’t actually say that, you thought it, but, you didn’t say it.

you quickly enter the room, with a little a stumble, almost tripping on your own feet. you quickly laugh at how much of a mess you are.

the room is packed, there’s people everywhere, most likely other staff members. you see at the corner of the room, there’s a small crowd of people surrounding something.

you squeeze in between people, trying to find a way through.

“excuse me. yea, sorry. my apologies. let me just squeeze in. i’m sorry.” you murmur out while gliding through the people in the packed room.

that’s when you were faced with him.

he’s exactly like those photos on the internet, a vibrant face, smiling while the people around him asks him questions like how’s his morning, would he like anything to drink, trivial things to simply make conversation. 

the infamous kylian mbappé.

you cleared your throat, put on your most brightest smile and polite voice.

“mr. mbappé, this is your organic green juice.” you say, putting your hand out to give the drink.

the area becomes quiet as the attention shifts on you.

you briefly look around confused.

and the smile that was once on kylian’s face had disappeared.

it was replaced with a hard stoned, cold glare.

“the fuck?” you thought.

he grabs the drink from your hand, not even thanking you before continuing the small talk with staff around him.

you try your hardest not to make a face at his rude behavior.

you brush it off.

literally.

brushing yourself off, taking a deep breath. putting on a polite voice again, you introduce yourself.

“hello, my name is y/n. i’m sure your manager already told you about me, i am your new personal assistant. if you ever need me, for anything, feel free to let me know. that’s my job, of course.” adding in a little humor to lighten the atmosphere, reaching your hand out.

once again, the area of the room goes silent. his smile falls once again and he slowly turns to look at you.

“d'accord. où est ma paille?” (okay. where is my straw?)

the crowd laughs.

you reach out your bag, handing him the straw before walking away.

“the rumors are true. he’s insufferable. literally an asshole. a two-faced scum? who even treats someone like that? no wonder his old assistant left. who’d want to deal with that.” you were now on the phone with your friend who encouraged you to apply.

“y/n, calm down. i know it was frustrating, but, it’s just your first day. at least quit after you get your first check.” your friend said, trying to comfort you.

yea, that’s right. y/n cried. cried very hard. today was extremely difficult.

you followed kylian everywhere, attempting to tend to his needs, but, all he did was be rude or downright ignore you.

“sir, how are you feeling? would you like for me to schedule a massage for you, in case you are feeling tense?” you ask.

“do i look tense to you?”

“mr. mbappé, your manager has informed me that you have a meeting on friday at 3pm.”

“who makes meetings on friday? i’m not going, you’re going. i have to relax.”

“mr. mbappé-“

“please stop bothering me. aren’t you my assistant? why must you keep calling out my name, you’re here to handle my business.”

“i don’t even know what i did to him? why should i get treated like this? it makes no sense.” you complain to your friend.

“i’m sure it’ll get better eventually… hopefully.”

“yea, hopefully.”

it’s been two weeks, working as kylian mbappé’s personal assistant.

to say y/n felt drained would be an understatement.

fourteen endless days of talking to a brick, solid wall.

a brick, solid wall with snarky remarks and a stinky attitude.

“mr. mbappé, your driver is outside waiting for you. he has the specific refreshments you asked for.” y/n says.

“alright, walk me to the car.” he says.

y/n’s concerned because he usually just nods and walks to the car himself.

as the two makes their way to the car, kylian starts conversation.

“your name, y/n, right?”

this is weird.

so weird.

“yes, sir. y/n y/l/n.”

“alright y/n, can you cook?”

“yes, i can cook, why?” y/n questions.

“génial. je veux que tu cuisines pour moi. (great. i want you to cook for me).” kylian says nonchalantly.

y/n stops dead in her tracks as kylian continues to walk.

“so, now i have to cook for this man? really?

well, it is your job…

oh, shut up. i know that!

just saying…” you internally battle with yourself.

he turns around, “well are you coming? i don’t have all day and i’m starving.”

you snap out of it, speed-walking to catch up.

“why are you standing by the door?”

you were in your bosses house. well, it’s not out of the ordinary because you are his personal assistant.

however, this is a drastic jump from a few days ago, when he didn’t even want you near him.

“are you okay, mr. mbappé? it looks pretty bad. i can go get you some soothing gel!”

he hurt himself pretty badly while trying to perform a trick during practice.

“no! i’m fine. don’t touch me, move!”

he spat out, stumbling to get up by himself.

you back up in utter shock.

other staff runs up to offer him support as he limps away.

mbappé’s pov:

his new personal assistant stood at the door, looking like a lost puppy that was left for dead on a rainy night.

kylian knew he was being hard on her, harsh to her. but, he couldn’t let his guard down.

he refused to let history repeat itself.

“why are you standing by the door?” he asks.

y/n seemed to be lost in her thoughts when he said that because she snapped up and made her way into the house after taking off her tory burch sandals.

kylian observed the woman as she subtly looked around the place before making her way to the kitchen.

he couldn’t lie. she was beautiful. she could be on the cover of a makeup magazine because of how natural and pretty her features were.

he wishes he could see her smile. most of the time she wears a frown on her face, sometimes a pout that kylian finds endearing. he wouldn’t show that though. or.. say it, ever.

her hair looked so soft, her voice was so nice on the ear. she had a nice figure, ones of a dancer, delicate, light on the feet.

“mr. mbappé? did you hear what i said? i asked, what exactly would you like for me to cook?” she said. he loved her voice, utterly. like a bee, wanting to drown in honey. he wanted to drown in her voice, listen to it forever.

“call me kylian.”

for some reason, he finds himself wanting to get to know her. get closer to her.

y/n’s pov:

‘oh God, he’s staring.’ you think to yourself.

y/n has made her way to the kitchen after taking in the penthouse. it was so nice and luxurious. she wondered how much or how long she’d have to work before ever living in a place like this.

she began looking in the cabinets, taking out a few pots and pans before realizing her boss didn’t even tell her what he wanted to eat.

“mr. mbappé, what exactly would you like for me to cook.” y/n says, an attempt to ease the tension.

‘he’s still staring. what the hell is wrong with him?’

“mr. mbappé? did you hear what i said? i asked, what exactly would you like for me to cook?” she repeats.

he looks you straight in the eye.

“call me kylian.”

you two continue making eye contact, you thought you’d feel uncomfortable, but, it’s rather… nice? it feels nice. it’s the first he’s ever actually acknowledged you.

you break the eye contact, clearing your throat.

“alright, if you don’t have anything set in mind, i’ll just cook and try to make do with whatever you have here.” you say.

it’s been about 50 minutes and you’re finally done cooking. you made steak & farfalle pasta with creamy tomato sauce.

kylian went into his bedroom since you began cooking and hadn’t come out. but, you did hear faint music coming from his room.

you begin to plate his food nicely, setting it on the kitchen island with a glass cup of ice water.

luckily, you clean along the way while cooking so there wasn’t a mess. you were tired, you wanted to get home and unwind.

you walk up to his bedroom door, about to knock, when the door swings open.

“oh! i was just about to knock. the food is ready.” you say slightly surprised.

he doesn’t say anything.

but, you could care less. your attention shifts to the song being played in the background.

“is that écoute chérie by vendredi sur mer? i love that song so much.” you say excitingly, completely forgetting that you’re at work. technically.

“yeah, it is. i love that song too.” he replies with a small chuckle.

‘did he just chuckle? with me? did kylian mbappé, my rude ass boss. chuckle… with me?’

you smile, looking at the small smile that adorned his face as he chuckled.

you won. you’re winning mbappé over.

mbappé’s pov:

he was in his room, sipping on some expensive red wine from a brewery that gifted him some.

he felt at peace, moments like these to himself. drinking something, listening to music, letting loose.

not only that, but, most likely, he could smell the aroma from the food his personal assistant, y/n was making for him.

its been a little while, he was gonna go check on the food.

his favorite song comes on.

“partir, venir, mourir, courir.”

what a lovely song. he sings to himself, along the chant before making his way to the door.

opening it, there she was.

“oh! i was just about to knock. the food is ready.” she says, obviously a little spooked.

he doesn’t care about that, though. the more he looked at her, the more time he spent around her, the harder it got to suppress his obvious attraction to the woman.

he visibly sees something click in her head as she moves from his sight to get a better hearing of what was being played.

“is that écoute chérie by vendredi sur mer? i love that song so much.” she says.

‘God, she’s so cute.’ he thinks to himself.

“yeah, it is. i love that song too.” he says, trying to hold back the ‘awe’ he wants to say so bad.

she smiles.

kylian felt like his heart could explode.

without absolutely zero exaggeration, she has got to have an award for having the most beautiful smile in the universe.

that smile right there—convinced kylian that he would make it his mission to always see that smile as long as y/n’s around him.

y/n turns around, leading him to his meal.

his stomach grumbles as he lay eyes on the food. it looks delicious. better than any five star michelin restaurant he’s been to. would probably taste better as well.

he’s confused, though. there’s only one plate of food.

he turns to y/n.

“where’s your food?”

“oh, i only made food for you, sir-“

“kylian, call me kylian.”

“yes, i’m sorry, kylian.”

“i’m gonna wait here for you to finish your food so i can wash your plate, then i’ll be out your hair, if that’s fine with you, kylian.”

he knows he can’t just let her leave like that.

he doesn’t know what he’s doing, but he thinks he knows what he wants.

“that’s fine. come sit down.” he says, pulling out the chair next to him.

y/n hesitantly makes her way and gets seated. kylian slides over the glass of ice water to her.

“no, it’s for you.” y/n explains.

“i know, but, just drink it. i have some wine in my room.”

“okay, do you want me to go get it and pour some out for you?” y/n says, about to make her way there when kylian gently pulls her down.

“no, no, it’s fine. relax.” he says.

kylian begins eating, almost scarfing the food down.

y/n takes a sip of the water while looking at him eat.

“is it good?” y/n asks.

he stops for a second, chewing and swallowing what’s in his mouth.

“very. best meal i’ve had in a long time, y/n. thank you.” he says with a genuine smile on his face.

y/n smiles back before bringing the glass cup up to her lips and drinking some more water.

“so, y/n, how old are you?” he says, finishing up his food.

“i turned 24 a few months ago.” y/n says.

“really? i turned 24 a few months ago as well.”

“i know that, you’re the star of france.” y/n says with a small smile on her face.

he smiles at her again.

y/n couldn’t take it.

‘this is awfully weird. why is he being so… nice. it was concerning.’ she thinks to herself.

silence takes over the room and the only sound being the fork hitting against the glass plate as kylian takes a bite of the pasta.

“kylian, why are you so mean to me?”

“y/n, i know i haven’t been the nicest to you…”

they say at the same time. they both laugh.

“you go first.” kylian offers to y/n.

“alright, i was asking. why are you so mean to me? did i do.. something.”

kylian sighs deeply, “no y/n, you did nothing wrong, but, a lot happened before that’s making me like that towards you. just know i don’t mean it.” he explain.

“well, what happened?”

“i’ll tell you later.” kylian says finishing the food.

y/n took the plate and glass cup, made her way to the sink and began washing the dishes.

y/n wondered, what was on his mind. what was he thinking about.

too deep in thought to not see her boss, kylian. staking right next to her, leaning on the countertop.

she finishes cleaning the plate and cup.

she turned to her left, her soul jumping out her chest.

“kylian! why are you always sneaking up on people.” y/n said, laughing off the remaining shock with a hand over her heart.

“sorry, sorry, i just like looking at you.” he laughs.

y/n laughs too.

“oh really?”

“OH? REALLY?” she says backtracking because it registered to y/n what he said.

“yes. you’re beautiful.” he says, stepping a teeny closer to the beautiful woman in front of him.

y/n blushes.

“the food was really good as well. i really wish you would’ve ate with me.” he says.

“i’m just your assistant. i don’t want to break any of your boundaries. i respect you.” y/n says.

“i respect you.” kylian replays it in his head.

he already had a slight crush on y/n, but, this was different.

he has a crush on y/n.

“wow, you’re making me feel like shit for treating you the way i did. i respect you, too. say, come over again tomorrow. if you make me something to eat again, i’ll tell you what happened.” he says with a smile on his face.

y/n remains silent. she was thinking.

‘is kylian mbappé flirting with me?’

there’s no way.

yes there is! look at the way he’s looking at you. he wants you!’ you weigh out to yourself.

kylian think it’s adorable. the way y/n constantly looks like a lost puppy.

he bends down a bit, leveling himself to y/n’s height to get her attention.

“everything alright in there?” kylian says.

y/n seems to still be in deep thought when kylian giggles.

he takes his index finger, placing it underneath y/n’s chin, lifting it up.

he looks her in the eye.

he wants to kiss her, her lips look so soft. he’s 100% sure if their lips were to simply graze across one another, he’d still love it. be addicted to it.

y/n looks back into his eyes, feeling her heart beat and her stomach start to flutter.

“deal or no deal?” kylian says as he tilts his head to the side.

y/n eyes drops to kylian’s lips. they were the perfect size and naturally protruded out.

she imagined how it’d feel. probably like a pillow, or, maybe a marshmallow.

y/n eyes make its way back to kylian’s.

she made up her mind.

“deal.” she says before gently removing his finger from her chin. she gathered her bags and made her way to the door, kylian following right behind.

she slipped on her sandals as kylian unlocked & opened the door.

y/n walks out, before turning to kylian who stood by the door.

“goodnight.”

“goodnight.”

they say together.

the two laugh.

“till next time then, goodnight mr. mbappé.” y/n says.

“it’s kylian and i’ll call you tomorrow. make sure you answer. goodnight, y/n.” he says, smiling.

a/n (author’s note):

i am confident in this at all.. i feel like it could be way better but i wanted to hurry and publish something to whoever’s waiting. i’ve been so busy and tired with school :,(. it was supposed to only have one part but i didn’t wanna rush the plot too much.

i tried something new with the whole “pov” thing. and, i hope it’s not too confusing because i switch from 2nd point of view to 3rd a lot.

i guarantee part 2 will be more exciting than this. thanks for reading!

[alluringlight]

Sparkle x (Gender Neutral) Reader

NSFW, 18+ only

Warnings: overstimulation, dub-con, Sparkle being Sparkle (crazy but she loves you), use of her Mask/powers

I actually posted this yesterday before the Sunday one-shot but for some reason it wasn't showing in tags?? So trying this again rip

Your vision went dark, and you yelped at the sudden intrusion; a pair of hands cupping over your eyes as you could feel someone pressing into your back. “Guess who?” There was only one person who could get into your house and sneak up on you without making a sound. It startled you every time she did it, but you were more than half certain that your reactions were the reason she did it in the first place.

You breathed a sigh of relief, “Sparkle,” You twisted in her grip, smiling at her. “You’re home.” You pulled her into a hug, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

“Blegh, c’mon cut it out.” She squirmed in your grip, breaking away to look at what you had cooking on the stove instead. The weather was getting colder so you were craving soup, and luckily it was just about finished. She peered into the pot, sticking a finger in to taste it. “It needs more salt.”

“Babe, you’re gonna burn yourself doing that,” you chastised.

She sighed, shrugging as she spoke, “I come home after a long work trip and you’re already nagging me. Lighten up.” You’d feel bad if there was any modicum of sincerity in the statement, but she was a Fool afterall, and she loved to grace you with any number of masks, always making you guess which was the real face beneath.

Sparkle started dishing up the soup, and the two of you sat at the dinner table to eat together. It was a rare occurrence to be able to have these quieter, domestic moments with her, as she was always flitting about traveling everywhere and you didn’t want to tie her down. Not that she ever could be. But it was becoming increasingly obvious she wanted you to join her on her excursions, even if she’d never directly ask.

“How was your job?” You asked. She hadn’t disclosed many details, but you knew it involved the Stellaron Hunters, so it couldn’t have been a particularly easy time.

She smiled at you, her eyes playful even though her smile was sharp. “Everything went off without a hitch. I’m taking you to Penacony soon. The Planet of Festivities is quite a sight.”

“I’ll have to take time off work,” you replied.

Sparkle’s smile widened, an obviously fake cheer added to her voice as she spoke, “Work this, work that, can’t we talk about something else? I can always kill your boss to get you time off.”

You tried to stifle a giggle, knowing if she thought it’d make you laugh she’d actually do it. “C’mon it’s not worth all that.”

She propped her head on one of her hands. “You don’t even need a job.” This is about as direct as she’d ever be. She was always peculiar about expressing her desires to you, either telling you nothing or telling you a million and one things, making it impossible to guess which were true and which were not. She was like this in most things, intimacy included. Sometimes, she’d insist on being so close to you it was suffocating, like you were trapped in a spider’s web, and sometimes she refused to touch you. Everything was always a part of the game, the play, a Masked Fool to the end.

As always, she was right though. She always deposited money into your account regardless of whether you wanted her to or not. So you didn’t really need a job, though it was one of the only threads to the past you still had from before you met her. Sometimes you thought it made her nervous, other times angry, others still, sad. You weren’t sure which was correct, though at the end of the day it didn’t matter, since it seemed to make her feel some way.

“I was actually thinking of quitting soon,” you admitted. You’d been thinking about it for a while, since Sparkle had first insinuated she wanted you to, and you couldn’t think of a good reason to stay. You’d rather explore the stars with her.

“Oho, and here I thought I was destined to walk about the universe by myself.” She clutched a hand to her chest dramatically, tilting her head down and closing her eyes. “I’d resigned myself to kidnapping you away with me, but I see my plans were futile. You’d instead join me of your own volition, how wonderful!”

You laughed at her overdramatics, before pausing, her words sinking in. “Wait, were you really planning on kidnapping me?”

Sparkle giggled. “What do you think?”

Honestly, you wouldn’t put it past her. She’d stolen you away on surprise trips before, pushing you to go with her and abandon your life for a handful of days to instead spend time with her. “Well, no need for all that,” you said, your voice fond despite the subject.

It seemed she was getting bored of the conversation as she pushed away from the table, coming to stand in front of you, bowing low with a hand held out. “My love, may I have this dance?”

You grasped her hand, and she pulled you out of the chair. Despite there not being any music playing, you two danced in rhythm. You followed her lead, and the two of you waltzed across the room, she spun you around, dipping you low to the ground, pressing you close and spinning you out.

Eventually, she seemed to tire of the dancing, instead tugging you towards the stairs, up and towards your bedroom. Being with her was always a guessing game and sex was no different. Her first night home in particular was a whirlwind. She rarely felt like being gentle, instead she would take you hard, fast, rough, all manner of toys or roleplay on the table, always, always down to try something new. Sometimes you’d fuck her and sometimes she’d fuck you. But other times she wasn’t even interested in sex when she came home, going straight to sleep. Though, she didn’t sleep regularly, so instead she’d just watch you sleep. You’d made the mistake of mentioning that to someone before, forgetting that most people would find that sort of behavior creepy, not romantic.

With the fervor in which she started pulling off your clothes, you knew she was definitely interested in something tonight, the gleam in her eyes alerting you that she had some sort of scheme.

“Something you’re wanting to try?” You asked.

She hummed, her smile unwavering as she started shucking her own clothes off. “Don’t know what you mean.” She pushed you down on the bed. “Face down,” she said as she fished around in the bedside table.

You turned over without resistance. It was apparent something new was on her mind and she didn’t feel like sharing what it was. Although it made anxiety swell in your gut, it also sent a bolt of arousal through you. If you wanted some sort of stability, you wouldn’t be with her. Instead, you loved the impulsivity she bore. You trusted her implicitly, probably more than you should if you were honest.

She settled behind you, shoving your legs apart with no care to be gentle. She poured a generous amount of lube directly onto your hole, causing you to shudder. She pressed a finger into you, humming in appreciation as she added a second finger in. “You feel so tight. Neglected yourself while I was away, huh? Or are you just nervous?”

“B-both,” you stuttered, hips rocking back as a moan left you as she hit a sensitive spot in you.

She chuckled. “Don’t be nervous baby.” Sparkle moved herself up a little, straddling your thigh as she rocked down, teasing herself while she prepared you. It felt like she was everywhere. Her presence was all encompassing, she always seemed to overwhelm your senses.

She pressed another finger into you, scissoring her fingers to open you up. Her other hand trailed your spine, causing goosebumps to erupt on your skin. Gently, she traced your skin.

You yelped in pain as her nails suddenly dug into your back, raking down, leaving red lines in their wake. The pain melded with your pleasure as she abused your insides, her fingers pressing in and out of you faster and faster. Her other hand trailed back up your skin, before she tapped at your mouth. She smiled as you opened up, and she gently pressed them into your mouth, roving inside, petting your tongue and the inside of your cheek. So gentle, even as her other fingers drilled into your hole, bullying every spot within you.

You could feel heat build within you, the contrast between her ministrations turning you on further. She forced you to orgasm, not stopping even as you whined in overstimulation, spit spilling out from around her fingers in your mouth.

She didn’t stop until tears clouded your vision, and then she pulled away so suddenly it made your head spin. You gasped for air, unable to form a sentence as your ragged breathing filled the room. You could still feel her grinding into your thigh, her sticky wetness coating your flesh. She leaned forward, licking at the tear tracks on your face as she finally pulled away from your thigh, instead settling herself between you again.

“You look so cute with tears in your eyes,” Sparkle cooed. She moved, caging you in with her arms, her hands settled by your shoulders as her knees kept your legs spread. She kissed at the back of your neck, nipping at the skin here and there, and sucking bruises into your flesh as she fostered the flame of your desire. She pulled one of your hands up, lacing your fingers together.

Suddenly, you could feel something shift. She seemed to take up more space, her hand heavier where it sat atop yours. Adrenaline rushed through your veins as you felt the body of a man drape over you, the hard line of a cock digging into your back.

Your brows furrowed, your head turning enough to see what she’d done. Instead of Sparkle, the visage of one of her friends, (coworkers?), Sampo, greeted you instead. It was disconcerting hearing her ragged breathing in your ear, her normal voice replaced by one several octaves deeper. “Sparkle, what are you doing?” you asked, your previous anxiety knotting up your stomach.

Instead of answering you, she simply chuckled, the noise grating your nerves. You wiggled beneath her, trying to dislodge and get out from under her, but she simply pressed further into you, laying all of her weight on you as she pressed you into the bed. You kicked at her legs. “C’mon cut it out,” you said. Despite your protesting, you could feel your arousal spike, warmth building beneath your skin at the situation.

She kissed your ear, her lips rougher than you were used to. “Shh, it’s okay,” she said.

You could feel your heart jump to your throat as she pressed her cock to your hole, teasing for now. “Sparkle stop, let’s talk fir- Ah!” She cut you off with a rough thrust in, sheathing herself in your heat in one thrust. Tears pricked at the corner of your eyes, the rough stretch burning into you. It was a lot to take at once. You had no idea if her copy was, uh, exact to Sampo’s real size, or if she’d made it the size she wanted, but if it was an exact copy then you had to admit the guy had a huge dick. You felt like you could feel it in your throat, as she roughly pulled out before slamming back into you, punching a moan out of you at the harsh treatment.

She grinded into you, pulling whimpers out of you at the insistent movement. Hearing her moan caused guilt to spike in you, hearing her voice - Sampo’s voice - like this felt like you were intruding on him in so many ways. Guilt settled heavy in your gut, you felt guilty getting off to this, to someone who wasn’t Sparkle, even if it was actually her doing this to you, pulling your head apart in such a way. Your tears finally spilled down your cheeks, the guilt of the situation causing them to fall one after another.

Despite everything, though, arousal still burned in your veins. Which became all the more apparent as she began to fuck you at a steady pace. You felt trapped beneath her, where normally there were soft lines and curves, you had dense, hard and heavy muscle caging you in, pressed against you as she practically smothered you beneath her, forcing you to just take what she was giving you, nowhere to run.

Her cock scraped you raw, physically and emotionally draining as she pistoned into you, directly targeting your sweet spots. It didn’t take long to bring you close to cumming, but you tried to hold yourself back, not wanting to cum, not like this, not when she wasn’t herself.

The hand that held yours pinned to the bed squeezed your fingers, and her other hand trailed to your neck, pinning your head to the bed as you felt her breath caress your ear as she spoke, “I can feel you clenching on my cock,” she purred, punctuating the statement with a particularly hard thrust, forcing a whine from your throat. “Go on, cum. Cum to someone who isn’t me.”

You choked on a moan, fresh tears spilling down your cheeks as you snapped, cumming and clenching down onto her cock. You felt gross afterwards, and you knew your face was a mess from the crying.

Sparkle didn’t stop though, continuing to fuck you through your high and through your regret and through your guilt and shameful arousal. She chuckled, the sound deep, the vibration rocking your chest. “So cute,” she said, staring at your fucked out face and tear tracks. “Gonna make me cum at this rate.” Her pace picked up as she fucked you into the bed, not letting you move even as you shuddered through overstimulation.

She moaned into your ear, the sound going straight to your core. You could feel her cock twitch within you, and as she finally came, her cum spilling deep into you, she bit down on your shoulder, teeth sunk deep into your flesh. You whined as she pulled her teeth out, instead licking at the wound before biting into another spot.

You thought after she came she’d stop fucking into you, but as she fucked her cum deeper into you, her cock still rock hard, you could tell she had no intentions of stopping yet. Your hand grasped at the sheets, trying to ground yourself as she bullied your insides until you saw stars.

“You like getting fucked like this?” Sparkle asked. “Like you’re just a stupid toy for me?” You whimpered, your cheeks heating up at her words.

The pleasure seemed to be never-ending, until she completely withdrew from you. For a second you thought maybe she’d grown tired of this, that she'd given you mercy, but then she half forced you into flipping over onto your back.

It was so much worse being able to see her like this, Sampo’s sleazy smile taunting you as she watched you like a hawk. Being able to see the flush on his cheeks, his disheveled hair, finally seeing the flushed cock between his legs. “It’s rude to stare.” Sparkle said, nudging herself between your legs, grasping her cock and guiding it to your hole again, slowly pressing into you as you hissed in pain from overstimulation.

Strong hands grasped beneath your knees, pushing your thighs up, up, up, until your muscles screamed at the strain and they laid flat to your chest. Your face contorted in pain, the position tweaking your muscles, but that only caused Sparkle to let out a throaty laugh.

“I just want to eat you alive,” she said. She pressed further into you and your breath left you all at once as her cock forced itself further into you, the new position allowing her to hit deeper into you, causing your hands to fly to her back to hold onto something. Sampo was way broader than Sparkle, bulky in a way your girlfriend definitely wasn’t. Hard back muscles flexed beneath your fingertips as you dug your nails into her back.

She leaned forward, trying to kiss you, but you tilted away, not wanting to kiss her like this. Her smile slid away, a frown tugging at her mouth. “Don’t be a brat,” she said, tugging your chin until you faced her again and she could press your lips to hers.

It felt rougher than usual, her lips slightly chapped. She snapped her hips, the sudden movement causing you to moan in surprise and she took the opportunity to shove her tongue into your mouth.

She fucked into you once more, her cock bullying you open hard and fast as she pressed into you. The kiss wasn’t any gentler. It was barely kissing at this point, instead she was practically tongue fucking your mouth. She was overwhelming you, wholly and utterly. Normally, you loved being overwhelmed by her, but guilt still pressed into you, roiling in your gut, blending and braiding into your arousal until it was impossible to separate them.

Your third orgasm came out of nowhere, hitting you hard as you clenched down onto her, milking her cock as you moaned around her tongue. Your nails raked down her back, causing her to whine at the sting. Your eyes flew open, locking with hers as she was already watching you, her eyes half lidded as she watched you as a predator stalks its prey.

You couldn’t stop your noises, whining and whimpering as overstimulation held you firmly in its grasp. Sparkle shoved her cock into you, upping the ante as she pulled her mouth away, fully bracing herself before snapping into you even faster, harder than before. You yelped, sobs leaving your throat as it turned truly painful.

Her cheeks were red, her gaze piercing as she watched you cry, a smile creeping onto her face as she shuddered. That expression was so delightful. Her nails dug into your thighs, as she thrust into you. Her hips stuttered as she came again, but she didn’t stop yet, fucking her cum deep into you until she was satisfied.

Finally, she pulled out of you, gently lowering your legs back onto the bed as she shifted, laying on to her side as she gathered your broken form into her arms. You felt a bit hollow, your hole empty as you felt cum spill out. Her illusion finally fell away as she pressed close to you, her arm wrapped around your waist.

She pressed apologetic kisses into your shoulder and neck. “Too rough?”

“No. Just caught me really off guard shifting like that,” you admitted.

You could feel her smirk on your skin. “But it was good.”

“Felt good, just hurt a bit because it was you but not.” You could feel her smile drop, as she hummed at your confession.

Sparkle’s voice was low as she spoke, “Sometimes I forget you really love me. Sorry.”

You grabbed her hand, lacing your fingers together. “Love you,” you murmured. You were exhausted after all of that.

She hummed in appreciation but Sparkle didn’t say anything. Though, the way she squeezed you tighter to her spoke volumes.

You started to drift to sleep but the only thing you could think was that although you were excited to start traveling with Sparkle, you really hoped she wouldn’t take you to see Sampo any time soon. It’d be really hard to look him in the eyes.

[hbyrde36]

Times Like These

(The Anniversary Edition)

Link to anniversary post

Now with amazing FANART 😱

When Eddie finds himself back in his living room, staring down a very alive Chrissy Cunningham, after just having bled to death himself in the middle of a nightmare world, he was rightfully very, very fucking confused.

-Or-

What happens when the new guy, who only just got inducted into the fucked up world of monsters and mayhem, gets stuck in a time loop and finds himself responsible for saving everyone?

Chapter 1: The Hell Loop

WC: 2,902 | AO3 link

Eddie could hardly breathe past the blood that was flooding into his mouth, threatening to choke him before he even had the opportunity to bleed out. He tried to keep it together for Dustin’s sake. The last thing he wanted was for the kid to get hurt or have to see something like this, hence the cutting of the rope, but traumatized was a hell of a lot better than dead, so he couldn’t regret either of the choices he’d made.

“I love you, man.” 

Eddie forced the words out, coughing and sputtering

“I love you too.” Dustin replied.

Eddie couldn’t see anymore, but the tears in the younger boy's voice were hard to miss. 

It was the last thing he heard before he died.

Dying didn’t hurt, quite the opposite actually. Eddie could pinpoint the exact moment he passed on, because it was the same moment the pain stopped. He found himself floating away into an unfamiliar blackness and couldn’t even bring himself to be scared. He was too relieved at being free of the agony and guilt.

Before he could do much more than wonder where he was floating off to, a loud almost overwhelming rushing sound hit his ears. Instinctually, he tried to cover them to drown out the noise, only to realize he didn’t exactly have a body right now. No ears to cover, no hands to do it with.

With that frightening thought his eyes shot open, -oh thank fuck he had eyes again- and his feet hit solid ground. Inexplicably, he was back in the trailer. He looked up to find that the ceiling was intact, and Chrissy Cunningham– whole, and alive, was standing just a few feet in front of him, looking nervous and jittery. 

“Are you sure you have it?”

What the actual fuck?

“Holy shit, Chrissy! You’re alive?!” Eddie gasped.

Her face twisted up in confusion, a feeling Eddie was also becoming intimately familiar with. What was this? Some life-flashing-before-your-eyes-on-the-way-to-the-grave bullshit? But he was already dead, he was sure of it, so that could only mean…

“Oh shit, I’m so sorry,” he blurted out. 

Why he was apologizing to some visage of the past that probably wasn't even real, he did not know, but it felt appropriate. 

She’d been through a lot. 

“You’re probably not alive, actually, if you’re here. Since I'm, y’know– dead, and all.” He continued, letting out a frankly deranged sounding laugh as he began to pace around the room.

“But why are you here?” He mused, thinking out loud.

It could actually be her, he reasoned. She was dead too, right? But that would mean they wound up in the same place and that was absolutely ridiculous. 

A sweet little thing like her? 

Guaranteed one way ticket to the good place. 

And Eddie? 

Well, he never had any doubts about where he was going to end up.

The realization hit him like a Mack truck, stopping him in his tracks. 

“Oh my god, I’m in Hell. This is Hell. I ran away. I ran– I didn’t even try to help you and then I fucking died!” Eddie let out a painful sob as he dropped to his knees on the floor, hands covering his face. Now that he was back here, having to face her again after what he’d done, It was all hitting him at once. 

His voice shook as he continued rambling. “Right in front of Dustin too… and- and now this is my Hell. I’ll probably have to watch you die, over-and-over-and-over again.”

He felt the air shift, heard the light footsteps as Chrissy took a few hesitant steps towards him. 

“Watch me die?” She said, voice cracking, sounding so, so small and scared. “Eddie, please… you’re kind of freaking me out.”

Shit, he really couldn’t stop fucking this up could he? 

Even if Hell-Chrissy wasn’t real, he still felt horrible for scaring her. None of this was her fault. He rubbed at his face hard and took a deep calming breath before looking up at her again. 

She wasn’t looking at him anymore though. She was rigid, staring straight ahead at something he couldn’t see, only the whites of her eyes visible as they rolled to the back of her head. 

He jumped to his feet, every instinct in his body screaming at him to run, again, but fuck that. He was already dead, probably, and none of this was real– he was almost sure none of this was real, but maybe he could still try to help her. 

Music had snapped Red out of it, maybe it would work for Chrissy too. 

Eddie raced to his bedroom, snatching his Walkman off the bed before sprinting back to the living room. He knew it was pretty fucking unlikely that the head cheerleader of Hawkins High was a secret Metallica fan, but it was the best he could do under the circumstances.

He gently placed the headphones over her ears and pressed play, the volume loud enough that he could just make out the sound of the opening riff to Master of Puppets.

-

It didn’t work. 

He hadn’t really thought it would.

He forced himself to watch as her body began to float.

Listened to the sickening snap as each of her arms and legs were twisted, and broken.

Stood frozen, a silent witness, unmoving until her body dropped to the floor like a ragdoll.

He didn't even scream.

He’d tried, and he hadn’t let her die alone. It was all he could do.

Hell or not, Eddie wasn’t keen on hanging out with a dead body if he could help it. So finally, he let himself go, grabbing his keys off the counter, and rushed out to the van.

–

Eddie drove slowly, aimlessly around town, at a bit of a loss for what to do next. It was a far cry from the way he’d peeled out of the trailer park and sped down the road on the night of Chrissy’s actual death, heart racing like a trapped rat desperately seeking shelter from a predator he couldn't even see. This time around he just felt numb.

Not knowing what else to do, he decided to follow his previous course of action. If he was right in assuming that he was being made to relive his greatest hits from the last 7 days, at least this way he knew he’d get to see Dustin’s face again. He drove towards Lover’s Lake, already dreading spending another night at Rick’s.

–

The morning after a sleepless night found him back in a boat, hiding under a tarp, and clutching tightly to the neck of a broken beer bottle. The numbness had faded hours ago, leaving the door open for anxiety and terror to return in full force. In short, Eddie was freaking out. 

He wasn’t sure how much time had passed since he’d left Chrissy's body to grow cold on the living room floor, but the second he heard the voices outside the boathouse he went into panic mode, just as he had the first time, unsure of what or who might be coming for him. 

Would it be more visions from the past? Or had the devil finally sent his minions to collect.

A few confusing moments, and a jab to the ribs with a fucking wooden oar later, Eddie was, for the second time in his life, throwing Steve Harrington violently against a wall and shoving a jagged edge of glass close enough to his throat that one deep breath would draw blood.

He stared into the other boy's eyes from inches away, and he wanted to drop the bottle. He remembered every single thing Steve and the others had done for him as he faced down the worst week of his life, but this could very well be Hell. 

And that might not be the Steve he’d come to trust.

The one he’d come to know wasn’t the same stuck up asshole he remembered from high school, who had proven time and time again that he was a good guy.

And he couldn’t afford to be wrong.

“Eddie! Stop!” The thing that looked like Dustin shouted. “Eddie, it’s me, it's Dustin. This is Steve, he’s not gonna hurt you. Right, Steve?”

Eddie, wanting to believe it so badly, actually did lower the bottle a little, only to accidentally drop it to the ground, his only weapon shattering at his feet. 

He fisted a hand into the front of Steve’s shirt. 

“What are you doing here man, what do you want from me?” 

Steve dropped the oar, all the breath whooshing out of him at once. “Dustin and Max wanted to find you. I’m just here to keep the little shits safe, I swear.”

Eddie caught movement out of the corner of his eye as Robin and Max began to approach from the side cautiously. Right, they had been there too, he'd almost forgotten. 

“We just want to know what happened, Eddie. We wanna help,” Max said.

It was the earnestness in her voice that got him, that made him finally break and move away from Steve, allowing Robin to rush to his side. 

“You won’t believe me,” Eddie said, barely recognizing the sound of his own voice with the way it trembled. 

He was sure they wouldn't believe it. If it even mattered, if they were even really here, if any of this was even real. 

He was still pretty convinced this was all just some form of divine punishment, and only happening in his own head, after all. 

It wasn’t about what happened to Chrissy. He knew they would believe that, they had once already, but whatever else was going on here? This deja vu flashback thing or whatever it was? They had no reason to trust he was telling the truth about the fact that he was dead– or had died temporarily? Or that this had all happened to him before. 

It was, admittedly, unbelievable. 

So, he made a choice. He didn't tell them that part. He told the same story he had the first time around and they in turn told him a very short history of the Upside Down. It didn’t hit so hard this time, since he’d already heard it all once before, but it was still wild to think about everything this group had been through. He couldn’t believe it’d all been happening right under his nose.

Despite himself, he watched Steve through most of the explanations. Eddie had been so focused on his own experience at the time that he hadn’t paid much attention to him after the attempted throat slashing. He looked dejected, sad, already resigned to the fact that the monsters he’d been protecting these kids from for years now were back, again. Eddie sympathized.

-

The week flew by in a blur of blood, sweat, and tears, events unfolding in the exact same way that he remembered, and he never said a word about it to anyone. 

He kept expecting it all to end somehow. 

On the rare occasion that he fell asleep,  he thought for sure he would wake up from this nightmare either back in his bed after having the longest most fucked up dream of his life, or somewhere– else, preferably on a fluffy cloud after having served his penance for petty crimes.

Unless god actually did hate the gays… then he was fucked. 

It wasn’t until he and Dustin were alone, after fortifying the trailer and getting his guitar set up that he decided– maybe he’d been an idiot to just keep going along with the script like this. It’d been days without so much as a hint of fire and brimstone, so either he'd been sold a bill of goods his whole life about what Hell would be like, or, this was really happening. 

Again. 

At this point, neither possibility was a particularly good one. If he’d been somehow sent back in time and given a second chance, he had absolutely screwed it up. 

Fuck it, he might as well tell Dustin now at least. See what happened.

“Alright, uh, listen, I have to tell you something– and I’m not sure you’re going to believe me but I swear I’m telling you the truth.”

Dustin laughed, bright and incredulous as he checked the plugs on the amp one last time. “After everything we’ve been through the past few days, and the shit I’ve seen over the last three years, do you really think there’s anything I wouldn’t believe?”

Ok, kid had a point. 

Eddie took a deep breath and squared his shoulders.

Here goes nothing. 

“I’ve been through this before, all of it, with you guys. For a while I thought I was in Hell, y’know? Doomed to relive Chrissy’s death over and over again, and between you and me I’m still not totally sure that isn’t the case, but then you guys found me in that damn boathouse just like before, and everything else has happened exactly like I remember, and I-” 

His speech was cut short by Dustin screeching, “Are you serious right now?! You have to be fucking kidding me! I can’t believe you… you’re in a time loop and you didn’t say anything?!”

Eddie’s mouth dropped open, eyebrows raised up nearly to the bandana he had tied around his head. “Wait, you believe me?! Just like that?!”

Dustin put his hands on his hips, in a gesture that was eerily reminiscent of a certain babysitter that Eddie definitely hadn't developed the habit of staring at at every given opportunity. 

Not the time!

“I wouldn’t say, just like that.” Dustin said, snapping his fingers. “If it was anyone outside of the party I would think they were crazy, but this is you we’re talking about. And like I said, after everything? This is not that hard to swallow. I mean, why would you make something like that–”

Dustin stopped abruptly, his entire demeanor changing on a dime as if he’d just discovered something awful. Belatedly, Eddie realized his mistake.

“Eddie, why would you think you were in Hell? Did you… “ The kid trailed off, and when he spoke next his voice was thick with unshed tears. “Do we lose? Did you…die?”

Eddie sighed heavily and ran a hand through his hair. “Shit, I didn’t think– I guess there’s no way to tell you I might be repeating time without admitting it. Yeah, I… died. As far as Vecna, I have no idea. I was gone before Steve, Robin, and Nancy got back.”

Before he could respond, the Walkie in Dustin’s hand came to life, with Robin’s voice crackling through the small speaker. “She’s in, move on to phase 3. Over.”

“Guess that’s it. Time’s up.” Eddie muttered.

Dustin bit his lip as he looked at Eddie, eyes questioning and full of fear.

Eddie shook his head, silently answering the unasked question. He didn’t want Dustin to tell them, or try and stop this. It was too late. He refused to risk the kid, or somehow make things worse by changing the plan this late in the game. 

Dustin squeezed his eyes closed and pressed the button on the handset to reply, “Copy that, initiating phase three. Over.”

Eddie gave the kid his best reassuring smile as he pulled the guitar strap up over his head and with shaking hands began to play, knowing there was no time to waste. 

-

Bleeding out wasn’t any more fun the second time around. 

Eddie had given it his all, fighting tooth and nail against those flying leeches, but there was no use. There were hundreds of them, and only one of him. Just as he had the first time he took off on that bike to lead the bats away, he’d known the fate he was resigning himself to. The difference this time was, he actually had a sliver of hope. 

If the impossible happened once, maybe it could happen again. 

“Sorry, kid.” Eddie said, choking back blood as he watched Dustin limp towards him. “Didn’t notice the leg last time–“ He paused, panting, trying to catch his breath. Talking had already become difficult. “Shouldn’t have cut the rope, s’not like it stopped you.” 

He forced a smile, trying so hard not to let it show on his face just how much pain he was in. Not that there was much point, the kid had eyes. He could surely see the red ruin Eddie’s body had become.

Dustin sobbed openly and it broke Eddie’s heart. 

“God damnit, Eddie!” He shouted, shaking his head and pounding the ground with his fist. “Promise me if you get another shot at this that you’ll tell me. Tell me as soon as you possibly can about the time loop. Please! We have to come up with another plan.”

Eddie wanted nothing more than to be able to scoop the boy into his arms and comfort him, might have tried anyway but he couldn't move. “What if you don’t believe me?” He choked out.

“I'm adopted,” Dustin blurted out through his sniffles. “My mom only told me last year. No one else knows, not even Steve, but… I trust you, Eddie. I’d believe you without it, but if you need to, tell me that and I’ll believe you.”

Eddie nodded, or tried to, and felt Dustin’s hand slip into his. 

“I love you, man”

“I love you too”

Chapter 2

Thanks to @penny00dreadful for being the best beta, friend and cheerleader.

Shoutout also to @theheadlessphilosopher @withacapitalp and @hitlikehammers for the help and encouragement to do this.

Tagging a few friends that expressed interest or I think might be interested? I am ALWAYS happy to tag or remove - just let me know!

Taglist: @hitlikehammers @pearynice @cranberrymoons @thoroughlycollected @blubblesandink @finntheehumaneater @brbsoulnomming @estrellami-1 @hellion-child @mentallyundone @manda-panda-monium @spicysix @kikidoesfanfic @dreamwatch

[birdiewriteslit]

wildest dreams au

luke hughes x abigail abernathy

masterlist

glamorousgail🔒

tagged rudeth, drewstarkey, jonathandavissofficial, madisonbaileybabe

Liked by rudeth and 17 others

glamorousgail miss this gang

View comments

drewstarkey soon🏄‍♂️

madisonbaileybabe summer cannot come soon enough

glamorousgail @/madisonbaileybabe literally three days into january and sick of it

lhughes_06 @/glamorousgail you live in new england

glamorousgail @/lhughes_06 fine i’ll just move to florida without you…

lhughes_06 @/glamorousgail DO NOT

madelyncline i miss you cutie pie

❤️ by author

jonathandavissofficial pogue life is the best life

glamorousgail @/jonathandavissofficial if that ain’t the truth

carlaciagrant ugh i miss these vibes

hichasestokes 🤙🤙

rudeth guys i inspired this post

❤️ by author

lhughes_06 @/rudeth well aren’t you special

January 3, 2024

—

messages 5:04 pm

luke: are you seriously still talking to rudy

abigail: he’s my friend so yes

luke: do you remember why he broke up with you

abigail: believe it or not i do and we’ve talked about it

abigail: he feels really bad and i don’t want to fuck up what we have right now especially with season 4 on the horizon

luke: gail that doesn’t fix what he did

luke: i’m looking out for you

abigail: i know that’s what you think you’re doing but trust me luke i know how to handle this

abigail: i’ve had exes who didn’t like our friendship and when they broke up with me bc of it it’s never bothered you this much

luke: whatever just forget about it

abigail: good luck tonight

read 5:17 pm

—

Abigail set her phone down and rubbed a hand over her face. She let out a frustrated sigh. It was true, she had a few ex boyfriends who hadn’t loved the idea of her being so close with other guys.

Rudy was one of them, but him and Abigail had finally reached a point where that didn’t matter, and they could go back to what they were before they started dating during the filming of season one of OBX.

She wished Luke would understand that Rudy had changed, but she knew the real reason he was upset about it, even if they pretended it never happened.

December 31, 2023

After the fireworks and the party, Abigail and the boys had successfully made it back to her apartment.

They made a great drinking game out of Monopoly on her bathroom floor, and it was getting a little wild.

Jack had almost flipped the board a few times because Abigail threatened to take his properties (even though that was against the rules).

“That’s it! I can’t afford a fucking hotel, I’m quitting this,” Quinn announced, standing from the bathroom tile, wobbling a bit before taking a few slow steps toward the door. He didn’t make it far before he slipped on some spare Monopoly dollars and came crashing down into the bathtub.

Jack laughed hysterically as Quinn groaned from the tub.

“I’ll go get some water for these guys,” Abigail decided, patting Luke’s arm before heading to the kitchen.

Luke glanced down at his phone in a nervous manner. “Wait up,” he said, following her into the hall.

Abigail took two glasses from the cabinet and placed them on the counter. “You think I need help?” she said, teasing.

“I think you’re perfectly capable,” he said, hands in his pockets as he stood by the island.

“Alright,” she responded skeptically.

Luke cleared his throat. “There’s a minute until midnight,” he said suddenly.

“Really? I didn’t know it was that late already.” She filled up each cup and put them in front of Luke on the island.

“Time flies when you’re having fun.” He looked at her like he was expecting something. He wanted Abigail to make the connection. He wanted her to round the counter and get closer to him. And then, he wanted her to kiss him when the countdown was over.

He could hear his heart pounding in his ears. Abigail wasn’t saying anything. She was looking at him with her lips parted, her eyebrows pushed together. Luke thought, for a moment, for a good thirty seconds, that that look meant she didn’t want what he did.

On the tv in the living room that was still playing from before they all left to go see the fireworks, the countdown had reached twenty seconds.

Luke’s eyes glanced down at Abigail’s body, he couldn’t hold eye contact for much longer without imploding. The strap of her tank top had fallen from her shoulder. Absentmindedly, he reached out to fix it.

When he did, he looked back to her face and saw she was staring at his lips. As the countdown finished, she grabbed his hand and guided it to her neck, pulling him forward simultaneously and kissing him hard.

Cheers could be heard from the television, but Luke could hear nothing over the sound of the blood rushing to his ears.

Maybe it was the alcohol that made Abigail that confident, or maybe it was just how tired she was of wanting to kiss him but never being able to.

She pulled away faster than she wanted to. Luke stared at her with a dumbstruck look on his face. Abigail avoided his eyes and grabbed the glasses from the counter, taking them to where Jack and Quinn were waiting.

January 3, 2024

Abigail didn’t talk to Luke about the kiss after it happened. Luke never mentioned anything about it to Abigail either, but she couldn’t help but wonder if it had been more than just a mistake she made when she was drunk.

What did it mean to him? How would it affect their relationship if he wanted it? Were they just going to stay friends or become more?

“I can’t do this right now,” she muttered to herself, before throwing herself back on the couch and passing out.

When she woke up, the Devils game was over. They won, but her nap rendered her groggy and feeling even worse.

She found her phone on the floor and picked it up, deciding to make a call. It rung for about a second before Quinn picked up.

“Abby, what’s up?”

“I just took a fat nap and I feel horrible,” she stated plainly.

Quinn laughed on the other side of the phone. “I feel that. Did you catch the game?”

“No, I’ve been asleep, Quinn. I can’t do this sun down at four thing.” She scowled at the dark sky outside her window.

“Even though you’ve lived in Boston your whole life? I’d think you’d be used to it by now,” Quinn said. “Are you okay?”

Quinn heard it in Abigail’s voice. She didn’t take that nap because she felt overwhelmed by the darkness. She sighed into the phone.

“Luke and I got into a sort of fight before the game. It wasn’t really a fight, he’s just upset I’ve been out with Rudy.” Abigail conveniently left out the whole kissing his brother thing, she just needed Quinn’s reassurance, like she always did.

“He seemed pissed tonight, at least on tv. Wanna talk about it?”

“Not really, but thanks for picking up, Quinny. I just wanted to let somebody know. You know, before I think about it too much.”

“We wouldn’t want that.” Abigail could hear the smile in his voice. They said goodbye and hung up the phone.

Abigail opened her messages and saw nothing new. Then, she checked twitter, and promptly closed the app after realizing she couldn’t escape her problems.

[glassofspoiledmilk]

New years kiss

Synopsis: Victor nikiforov throws a New Year’s party, and your friend Yuri plisetsky is having girl problems.

WC: 1.8k

“Alright what do we think about..this one!” I say as I spin around, holding a dress by the hanger in front of my body.

“Hmmm..I don’t know..maybe try that silver one behind you” Mila advises.

Today was the day of victors party, and this being my first year in the senior division, it was my first time being invited.

“You know that the party really isn’t all that right? It’s just a bunch of drunk people playing cards against humanity and dancing” she adds as you turn around to put the dress back.

“I know but it’s my first time going and I don’t wanna look lame” I reply, the sound of clashing hangers echoing in my closet.

“Orrr is the real reason you wanna look good because Yuris gonna be there” Mila teased.

“Ughh are you kidding me he’s gonna be there too!” I say as I whip my head around to look back at her.

“Well yea it’s for all the seniors sooo” she adds.

I groan and turn around to reveal the dress.

“How does it look?” I ask.

“It looks perfect….for Yuri” she laughs.

“Cmon Mila you know how I feel about him! He’s arrogant and rude and I do not like him” I scold, my cheeks burning red in embarrassment.

“Yea I’m sure you feel veeeery stronglyyy about him” Mila adds as she continues laughing.

“Ugh I hate you” I say as I roll my eyes.

“Love you too!” She winks.

“So are we going with this one?” I ask with a huff.

“Yup!”

“Mila are you sure I look ok?” I say as I walk out of the bathroom.

I had on the silver dress we picked out earlier, and a matching pair of heels. My hair was pulled back and my makeup was done with iridescent eyeshadow and pounds of glitter.

“You look gorgeous, don’t worry” Mila says as she tosses on a fur coat.

“Now cmon, we’re gonna be late” she adds, opening the door.

I grab a black coat off the rack and follow her out of the door.

The air was freezing when we stepped outside, I shivered as Mila unlocked the car. I climbed into the passengers seat turned on the heater.

“I’m kinda nervous” I blurt out as we started moving.

“Whaaat? Don’t be, I’m sure Yuri will dance with you” she jokes.

“Cmon Mila im behind serious, I hate him” I say, unamused.

“You say that but then whenever the two of you are together you’re all buddy buddy” she adds, pulling up to a stop sign.

“Ugh you are so annoying” I reply, rolling my eyes.

“But in all seriousness there’s nothing to be nervous about, like I said it’s just a bunch of drunk people doing weird shit” Mila says with a laugh.

“Yea I guess you’re right” I add as I pull out my phone.

Around 20 minutes later Mila and I arrived at Victors house.

“Hey you guys made it!” He says, opening the door with a glass of champagne in his hand.

Me and Mila step Inside and she is immediately pulled aside by georgi, who is obviously drunk, complaining about his ex.

“Mila she posted on her instagram, she got a new boyfriend…hic…I’m going to go beat him up…” he slurs.

“Ok yea let’s not do that..” she says, grabbing a red plastic cup out of his hand.

“Um I’ll be right back I’m gonna go handle this..” Mila adds, looking back at me.

“Mila please don’t leave me I have no idea what I’m doing” I say awkwardly.

“You’ll be fine, I’ll be gone for like a few minutes” she replied.

“Let’s go Georgi” she adds, placing a hand in his shoulder.

She leads him into the kitchen and then completely out of my sight.

I decide to walk down the hallway and into victors living room.

The live countdown was on the TV and Victor, Chris, Yuuri, and Pitchit were all sitting on the couch playing cards against humanity.

Leo, Seung-Gil, and Guang-Hong were all standing in the corner loudly talking.

I leaned against the wall and huffed.

I was friends with none of the people here and the only person I knew was currently handling drunk Georgi.

I scan the room until I see Yuri standing against the opposing wall, talking to one of the girls in my division.

She was twirling her dark brown hair and she bitting her lip as she talked to him.

It infuriated me.

I waited until she left to go talk to him.

“Who’s that” I say, leaning on the wall next to Yuri.

He jumps at the sound of my voice.

“None of your business” he says, looking away from me.

“Jeez what’s your problem” I add.

He took a sip from whatever was in his plastic cup.

“Are you drinking??” I say in shock.

“No it’s water dipshit” he says as rudely as ever.

I scoff and roll my eyes.

“So again why were you talking to that girl” I persist.

“Since when do you care who I talk to?” He adds.

“Since now” I reply.

He lets out a loud sigh.

“She’s some girl from the US, she just came up to me and started talking” he says, taking another swig of water.

“She seems pretty into you” I reply with a twinge of jealousy.

“Well I’m not really that into her, she’s weird I don’t know why she keeps coming up to me” he adds.

“Oh shit I think she’s coming back” he says in a panic.

“Uhh we can go in the basement?i think I saw the door next to the stairs” I quickly suggest.

“Yea whatever just get me away from her”

I take a firm grasp on his hand and lead him down the hall to a white door.

I open it up and flick on the light.

Me and Yuri walked over to a corner and sat down on the carpet.

“I swear if I get caught in another conversation with her I think I might jump off the roof” he says dramatically.

I roll my eyes and laugh at his childish antics.

I never really got to have a good look at what Yuri was wearing. His hair was down and he was wearing a black button down and black dress pants.

As I examined his body I felt my face start heating up.

“Are you ok?” He asks.

“Oh yea I’m fine it’s just uh hot in here” I reply, embarrassed.

“So why did you decide to come?” I ask.

“I was bored, and Mila kept pestering me until I said yes” he said with an annoyed tone.

“She did the same to me, she asked me literally every day until I said yes” I laugh.

He lets out a slight laugh.

I open my phone to check the time and it’s roughly 11:50.

“Shit we gotta go back up” I say.

“No please I don’t wanna talk to that weirdo anymore” he whines.

“Just uh..say I’m your girlfriend” I blurt out.

His face flushes red.

“A-are you sure?” He stutters out.

“I mean it’ll for sure keep her away” I say awkwardly, realizing what I had just said.

“I guess it’s worth a shot”

I grabbed his hand again and we climbed back up the stairs to the main area.

Everyone was dancing, and the girl Yuri was talking to was leaning against the wall talking to Sara.

Me and Yuri walked to the center of the living room and started dancing.

I held both of his hands as I swayed along to the music.

“Hey Yuri~ who’s this?” The brunette girl said as she snuck up behind me.

I watched yuris face go white.

“It’s my girlfriend” he says as he removes his hands from mine.

She looks me up and down and gives me a nasty look.

“Hi, I’m Jessica” she says, forcing a fake smile on her face.

“Uh im Y/N” i add awkwardly.

“You know you’d be really pretty if you like..didn’t put on so much makeup. Guys don’t really like try hards..” she says with a snarky tone of voice.

“Well I don’t think my boyfriend has an issue with the amount of makeup I wear” I spat back at her.

“Hmph what a pity, I’m sure he’d like a more natural girl..like me” she says with a sarcastic smile.

“Well I guess I’ll leave you two to it..but I’ll be back” she adds as she winks and walks off.

Yuri shivers in discomfort.

“What a megabitch” i say angrily.

“Tell me about it” he replies with a scoff.

After the song ended, I watched the TV to see who was performing next.

A singer I didn’t know got up on stage and started singing “take my breath away”

All the couples started slow dancing with the song while I started awkwardly at Yuri.

We were both completely still, faces bright red.

Out of the corner of my eye I see the brunette girl making her way towards Yuri again.

I quickly wrap my arms around his neck and in response he gently wraps his hands around my waist.

I lean my head on his chest and whisper “she was walking over, go with it”.

We sway slowly to the music, starting to melt into each others touch.

In the middle of the song I look up at him, our faces almost touching.

He was so close I could feel the heat radiating off his face. His eyes were glistening as beautifuly as ever, and he smelled like expensive cologne.

His eyes were peering into mine, almost like he was about to kiss me.

“q-quit looking at me like that..” he stutters, quickly returning to reality.

His face was redder than ever as he turned to avoid my gaze.

“Shit sorry…I started zoneing out” I say as I return my head to its place on his chest.

As soon and my head hit the fabric, I felt him pull me closer and rest his head on mine.

My breath hitched at the sudden gesture.

Thank god he couldn’t see my face, it was as red as a tomato.

As the song slowly ended, I felt him lift off of me.

I felt an ache in my heart, like I didn’t want the moment to stop.

I removed my arms from around his neck as the TV reverted to the ball about to drop.

The countdown started.

60…

59..

“Y/N.. I need to talk to you about something” Yuri says as everyone chanted the numbers around us.

48..

47..

“Yea what’s up?” I reply as I look up at him.

39..

38..

“Promise me we’ll always be friends ok?” He says, his face red and his eyes glassy.

28..

27..

“Yea I promise..are you ok?” I reply concerned.

17..

18..

“I..uh” he stutters.

I felt my face heat up in anticipation.

9..

8..

Yuri looks away from me.

7..

6..

I watch as he takes a deep breath.

5..

4..

“Seriously Yuri what’s wrong, are you ok?”

3..

2..

And just as the clock strikes midnight he cups my face and pulls me into a kiss.

I feel time stop around me, all the screams and cheers were completely muffled as I melted into his touch.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and returned the kiss.

It was sweet and gentle, and I wish the moment could last forever.

I pulled away as he looked me in the eyes.

“I love you..I always have” he says out of breath, a lovesick look in his eyes.

“I love you too yurio” I add as I jump back into his arms.

“Happy new years” he replies as he places a quick kiss on the top of my head.

A/N: happy new years!! So sorry for slow updates, I’ve been really busy with schoolwork but I have the next chapter of going gold almost finished so be ready for that! Love you guys!!

[nevernonline]

✧.* grow as we go; svt smau.

entry #09 seeing red.

synopsis: over the past ten years you’ve fallen in love many times. one day someone happens to stumble across your journal sitting out on your nightstand and started posting your entries online. after all of your secrets are leaked it’s clear things would ever be the same again.

𐦍 paring: svt members x afab! reader.

𐦍 feat: non-idol! svt, (g)-idle minnie&soyeon, oc’s

𐦍 genre/s: reader is super angsty low-key, fluffy, sexual themes.

𐦍 content: swearing, bullying, crazy ex’s, mentions of sexual relations, some drinking& mary jane 🍃

word count: 2.7k

masterlist ▸ 008 not the bath mat.  ▸ 010 coming soon

“You okay?”

Seokmin’s voice rang through y/n’s ears as she drove her car away from of Vernon’s white apartment building. 

“Yeah, I think so. I’m just nervous for some reason like I can’t put into words why, but my gut is telling me something is weird.” 

“Gut instincts are rarely ever wrong, but I’ll be by your side until you tell me you don’t need me to be. Okay?” 

Pulling up into the parking lot of the glass framed building just on the edge of the city overlooking the water, y/n felt her nervous sweating start to begin, almost begging for air conditioning to surround her like a chilled hug. 

“Want to hold my hand?” 

“Yes please, they’re clammy I’m sorry.” 

Gripping onto Vernon’s firm hand the three boys almost looking like her bodyguards bypassed the frenzy of people outside waiting to get their own peak at Minghaos installation themselves and walked through the door. 

The room was filled with small tables, made by hand as a final touch to Minghaos work, adorned with dainty black table clothes and bottles of champagne placed in ice buckets. 

The room was softly lit with yellow and white lighting making everyone have a glow that bounced off of them almost as if they weren’t real. 

“Would you guys like a drink? We have champagne and two signature cocktails, one is a gin based drink called ‘delicate’ and the other is a whiskey ginger based drink called ‘storm cloud.” 

The beautiful waitress signaled at y/n’s small group and pointed out the drinks on the table. 

“I think two storm clouds and one delicate one for sure. Y/n? What would you like?” 

You spun to look into Junhui’s big eyes, skating your head saying anything is alright with you so he made the conclusion to just order you the same as Seokmin to be safe. 

“Thank you.” 

Y/N placed a tip in the small bartenders jar and bid her a smile knowing she’ll be back for more later in the night 

“Should we look around now and try to find Minghao? Or wait a bit?” 

“Seok lets just wait here, it doesn’t seem like anyone is looking around yet, I'm trying to spy for Minnie and Mingyu.” 

“And Mimi.” 

“Yeah. Her too.” 

“Guys, Vernon and I are going to go find Vernon’s friend Seungkwan. We'll be back in a second.” 

“No problem.” 

Y/n and Seokmin waved the cute couple off into the crowd. 

“So y/n.” 

“Seoky.” 

“How are we feeling now? What was going on in the car?” 

“I don’t know. I told you I’m alright.” 

“Yeah but you don’t have to lie to me about that.”

“I promise you I would never lie to you, we basically took an unintentional blood oath as kids it stays” 

“Okay. I love you, you know that right? But I rarely see you nervous like this so I can’t help but feel concerned.”

“Shut up. Yes I do and I love you too. I promise im alright.”

Averting her gaze back to the front door she watched as Minnie and Mingyu walked hand and hand, strutting past a very devious looking Mimi standing to the right, chit chatting with someone who was unrecognizable to y/n. 

“They look good together.” 

“Yeah, they do.” 

“Do you think this fake dating is going to lead to them.. you know.” 

“Well. If I can be honest with you y/n which I'm sure I can, I think it already has.” 

“Yeah.” 

“Are you alright with that?” 

“I am actually. Any other time it would’ve killed me I think, but now.. I don’t know? I’m content. They make sense.” 

“You shine too bright to have someone who shades you.” 

“What does that even mean?” 

“I don’t know actually, I think im drunk already.” 

Y/n placed a small kiss on Seokmin’s temple laughing at his flushed cheeks before a familiar yet irritating voice cut through their ears. 

“Y/n, Seokmin. Hi! You both look absolutely gorgeous. Mind if I sit?” 

“Hi, Mimi. Sure.” 

“How are you guys? This is so beautiful and we haven’t even seen his art yet, how crazy. He’s so talented.” 

“Yeah it’s nice. You look great, I love your bag.” 

“Thank you. You look nice. I see you didn’t go with the outfit you picked out the other day.” 

“Hao told us to come in black so it just didn’t feel right.”

“Mimi, can I ask you how you know Minghao again?” 

“Oh wow, well it’s a long story. We met a few years ago, I haven’t seen him in a while actually.” 

“Ah, I see. Did you go to school together or?” 

“Wow Seokmin, someone’s nosey.” 

“Oh, sorry no, not nosy just curious is all. I didn’t know you knew him.” 

“It’s okay. Our parents actually work together.” 

“Nice.” 

“Do you know if he arrived yet? I’m sure he’d love to see you in this gorgeous outfit. Leaving everything to the imagination, he likes conservative girls.” 

“No we haven’t seen him, we're just waiting for Junhui actually.” 

“Aw, cutie. His boyfriend seems so nice, I stalked them online today. Dumb and dumber vibes, you know? I’m more curious though did you see Minnie and Mingyu? How trashy getting with your friends hook up? Maybe she truly has it out for you. You’re too pretty to never be the one to end up with the guy. But actually you should just date Seokmin, everyone knows how much you guys love each other, it could work out well.”

“Oh I-

“Well, I have to get going and find my way to the girls room. I’ll see you later. Toodles.” 

“Toodles” 

Seokmin’s voice gained a depth that you haven't heard since someone pushed him in the fountain at your high school during senior prank week. 

“What the fuck was that?” 

“Fucking weird is what that was.” 

Seokmin’s tone turned quickly into a quiet mocking of Mimi’s.

“Dumb and Dumber vibes.”

The two of them laughed as they shrugged off the interesting encounter with a former foe.

A bartender came over to the pair and handed them both a flute of champagne, as the rest of the patrons erupted into a roar when Minghao made his way into the building, Wonwoo walking beside him, smiling at his friend who was receiving praise from his acquaintances, hugging and high fiving him for his success, some chanting for him to make a speech.

Minghao walked straight past Mimi who was stealthily placed behind a tall gentleman the star of the night was not paying any attention to her whatsoever, almost like she was invisible. He strode over to the small table where y/n and Seokmin were awkwardly standing clutching the glass flutes, wrapping his arms around the both of them at the same time. 

“You guys look.. amazing, thank you for coming.” 

Minghao took a deep breath and looked up and down at the girl he had his arm around. 

“Seriously. Thank you.” 

“Our pleasure.” 

“I’ll be back after I say some thank yous, maybe we can all walk through together okay?” 

“Cool.” 

The intimate crowd surrounded Minghao and Wonwoo handed him the matching glass of sparkling wine and he held it up as a small cheers. 

Y/n peaked through the crowd and spotted Minnie and Mingyu to her right, still looking as loving as ever, Vernon and Jun to her left with an unrecognizable boy, who threw a small wave in her direction that she could only pass off as Seungkwan the only one she couldn’t place was Mimi.

“Hey guys. I just wanted to say thank you for coming tonight to the opening of my show. It’s been about a two year process to finally get through to this night. Many of you have been around much longer than that, so thank you for supporting me even when I was up late at night calling you upset about how it wasn’t going to work out. Vernon, Wonwoo, Seungkwan, and Mingyu, you guys truly were the only reason I didn’t jump ship many times from achieving this goal. It’s nice to see old faces like yours mixed into a group of new friends. So thank you, everyone, really. We’re going to take a peek through the gallery now, feel free to bring your drinks and grab some more along the way. And yeah, just enjoy yourselves. Thank you.” 

The clapping dwindled down as the group followed Minghao through the journey he went through over the past two years starting from just a week ago up until the beginning. 

Y/N stopped Seokmin to look at a very small white canvas decorated with various pastel water color paints mixed with an oil that looked almost the color of fresh blood. 

“Do you know when I did that?” 

“This?” 

Minghaos voice spoke up behind them quietly, not wanting the room to echo as the group was admiring the work during their part one journey. Seokmin smiled down at his female friend and decided to take the opportunity to wander off on his own like any good wingman would do. 

“Yeah.” 

“Uh, no. Is this a trick question?” 

“No it’s not, but it was that night I found you on your floor, looking at those pictures of you and your friends.” 

“I- You got inspired by that? How?” 

“Not sure I have time to explain it right now, but look at the title.” 

‘About you’ was written on the plaque to the right side of the artwork. 

“Wow. Thank you.” 

“No thank you, I couldn’t have finished any of this without you actually.” 

The art curator swooped Minghao away from your side moving the group into the second room, where the energy was colder, the lighting was turned down slightly, causing the fading colors the feel cold and dark and full of sadness especially coming from the front of the house that was bright and full of life. 

y/n was on her own now, sitting near the back of the group losing her sight of all her comfort blankets that were her friends. 

She spotted the red lip of Mimi directly across the room, also slipping to the back, trying to blend into the crowd as she looked around. 

After spending a good ten minutes looking around the group was led through a vinyl curtain into a room full of dark red lights, the canvases on the wall now sunk to the floor of the room and scattered themselves alongside ripped and tattered papers on the concrete floors.

Something in y/n’s stomach had told her she should leave now, the growing anxiety of the light and coldness of the room, with near to no talking as the faint look of paint splatter sunk into her eyes on the walls almost like old blood. 

She tried to turn around and make her exit through the same vinyl door when a hand came up to her wrist. 

“Where do you think you’re going?” 

“Oh, Mimi hi, shit you scared me. I actually don’t feel well. I was going to dip out for a second.” 

“Aw, come on y/n you can’t leave Minghao now. Not before the big finale.” 

“Right..” 

“Be right back, I’ll find Seokmin for you.” 

“Thank you.” 

All of the sudden as Mimi walked away a projector screen hit the wall, various old videos shot on a cam recorder. 

Y/n had recognized the faint pink colored walls, her own childhood room.

“Let’s go fucking crazy.”

The words came from lips that were set behind the camera only y/n knowing it was the sound of Mimi’s voice as she was being filmed sitting on the bed of her old room, a bottle of cheap vodka in her hands. 

“Okay, y/n I want you to see how pretty you are. We can send this to Joshua as a birthday gift. Should I turn the lights off more?” 

She watched herself as she nodded awkwardly giggling on top of the zebra sheets, her hands pushing the red bottle of liquor to her lips, dribbling the liquid down her chin, the sight of tears welling up in her round eyes.

“Y/nnie don’t be sad, nobody will ever find out we accidentally hurt anyone, okay? My dad said she’ll be okay, just a broken leg. Just let loose.” 

The lights flickered off the screen straight into her soul pushing down the memories of Mimi stealing her dads car while intoxicated to go and buy more alcohol before this very moment played out. 

Suddenly she saw red. All of this had been a set up to embarrass her. Another nail in her coffin. 

Her eyes filled with tears as she watched Mimi turn the people in the room to sit and stare at her face.  Watching the scene play on as Mimi told a very naive twenty year old girl to strip herself of her own clothes to impress the boy she liked and forget about the worst day of her life. 

The people in the room sized her up and down, some turning back to the screen, others reading a small handout that was stuffed into a map of the museum while giggling at the journal entries she wrote about her once crush and the man she had fallen for now before she even made the connection of who he was to her all of those years ago.

Y/n’s legs felt like jello, yet something in her built up the strength to bolt through the vinyl curtain, her heels echoing through the white walls like bullets hitting a glass window. 

She heard a voice cutting through the sound of her heels behind her calling out, but she decided she couldn’t stop to turn around and face anyone. It was a secret that couldn’t be shared, something that Mimi used as a final dagger to cut everyone out of her life the same way she cut the girl out of her own. 

As she reached the fresh air of the front doors, the same cute bartender was sitting out on the curb smoking a cigarette looking concerned for y/n’s well being. 

“Are you alright?” 

“No.” 

“Want a cigarette?” 

“A ride maybe? If it’s not too much to ask. I dropped my phone somewhere, I have cash I can pay you. I just need to get out of here now.” 

“I don’t need your money, it’s okay. Let me help you get a cab okay?” 

“Thank you, really. What’s your name?” 

“Rena. Yours?” 

“Y/n” 

Rena walked quickly with y/n to the outside cab pickup on the corner of the art museum, quickly hailing you a cab and shutting you tightly inside, leaving you with the last four cigarettes stuffed inside her metal case. As you drove off with a wink from her, meaning she had a feeling she’d see you again. 

“55 Miles Avenue, please” 

The driver sped through the night lights avoiding cars like it was a game. Pulling up outside the familiar front of Joshua’s building. 

Basically throwing money at him and whispering a quick thank you, y/n ran her way up to his elevator, finally reaching his floor, and knocking heavily on the door. 

In the few seconds he took to come unlock his apartment to her, she realized how desperate and deschevled she must look. 

“Y/n? It’s still early, are you okay?” 

“No.” 

“Come in, come in.” 

Her tears suddenly grew stronger, sinking down to his wooden floor, feeling his hands grab her shoulders and sink down with her. 

“What happened?” 

Words couldn’t form in her mouth correctly, she managed to spill a couple of sentences that made a way to fill him in. 

“Fuck. Y/n come on, let’s get you a shower and some fresh clothes.” 

Joshua’s arms picked the girl off the floor and led her into his black marble bathroom, which suddenly felt like an oasis to her. 

The water ran hot, scorching her body of the sins and embarrassment she had just gone through, spending more time scrubbing away at her skin and hair, feeling like it would help if she rubbed her skin nearly raw. 

Stepping out of the shower she grabbed the gray hoodie and soft sweatpants Joshua had laid out for her, taking her time to step into her clothes and walk out into her reality. 

“I ordered you some food. Come on.” 

As she finished eating in her daze, the boy to her left carefully rolled the thin paper over the green flower and lit the end, handing her a relief from her stress. 

“Thank you.” 

“Want to talk about it?” 

“Not right now.” 

“Okay. But im sorry I made you befriend her again, I should’ve known better y/n. I really thought she had changed.”

“Stop. Please, I really don’t want to talk about her right now.”

“Okay, just one last thing. Why do you think she did it?”

“I honestly have no idea.”

“But do you think Minghao had something to do with it I mean she basically ruined his whole night just for her own revenge. Seems weird that he-“

“Josh.”

“Okay. okay.”

Joshua and y/n sat in the haze of their shared joint, not talking until she finally had enough of a high to fall asleep next to him on the couch and chose to deal with her problems the next day. 

bonus:

note/s: part one of y/n’s wild ride fr. i feel like yall all know we can trust seok/bernon/wonu/junhui for sure 😌✊🏻 but for everyone else the jury (me) is still out lmao. IK MY ASS USED THE WRONG YOUR ok thank u lets just chalk it up to seokmin being drunk and silly lmao <3 i kept telling myself this is too rushed but i also didn’t want to overwhelm and put more of the drama here so lol. def prob typos etc etc bc i was editing at night which i def shouldn’t do anymore lmao. ok ttyl ily.

tag list:  @sun-daddy-yoriichi,@hipsdofangirl@kissesfrmwonwoo, @minhui896, @wonwooz1, porridgesblog,,  jasssy051, @soonyoungblr, @saucegirlreads, @musingsofananxiouspotato, @young-adult-summer, @punkhazardlaw, @bibs-world@the-swageyama-tobiyolo@wonuulvr@woozixo @k-drama-adict

[beheadable]

So. The rundown, and an explanation on why I kinda look not great in the photos lol

Long ass post warning

So, we get to the con, we're getting our barrings, wondering where the actor guests are and end up happening upon them in the back l've been vaguely nauseous all day. I see him and try so desperately not to dig my nails into my mom's hand after catching a glimpse of him. Nerves, excitement, little bit of awe because beautiful man hahah

Anyway, maybe three people in line counting us, we wait a second it gets to us and he's like "hey, l'm sorry I gotta do photo ops in like ten minutes I don’t want to rush you guys. But it’ll be like ten fifteen minutes and you guys can come back?” and mom and I are like no worries! He’s so courteous about it and it actually really eased my nerves a little

We walk around! We go back, he’s there and there’s one person there so I’m like okay! Great! I’m not the first one walkin’ up! So we wait a second I’m trying to get my shit together so I can speak coherently and somewhat confidently and not end up quiet like usual, it’s awful sometimes. Anyway! I do great! Normal human I don’t sound weird or however like an alien I feel (I cannot express how much I am not built to do shit like this). I gave him the drawing first thing and through it all was a blur but mom said he called it brilliant twice <3 I don’t doubt my skills but it is still, vulnerable. This one was never intended to be seen by him nor literally gifted to him, I poured a lot of reverence into it I probably wouldn’t have otherwise if I did it with the knowledge that he WOULD see it (difference between, ‘I want this to look nice because he’s going to see it’ and ‘I’m drawing beautiful man for myself :]’)

It’s photo time, I hand mom my bag and the lady at the table (most if not all the actor’s tables had a convention employee with them) took like ten photos. I initially tried to keep a respectful distance because like, I don’t know, I’m not gonna go in for a full side hug or whatever but immediately I get squeezed right into him. Good god. Not to be weird or crazy or whatever whatever but I will never forget how that felt. Or he feels. Or any of that. Yes he is as boney and solid as I imagined <3 but just that like ‘you’re real, and sweet’ is what’s getting me. and. Well, mom said it first but it is true with how firm of a squeeze I got, my future boyfriend has a touch to live up to 😤 (I do wish I was mostly joking, but I’m mostly serious). Truly, I scrunched up in surprise and it took a minute to even fully comprehend the fact I’ve been fully tucked into his shoulder. Gonna feel that hand on my arm forever! Not a bad squeeze! The perfect squeeze, to me .

He is genuinely so so lovely and I’m so glad I actually did this. And shoutout to my mom for being the reason I’m here. And for confirming afterwards to me that I did, in fact, not come off as nervous and excited as I actually was and that I handled it well (I was still clearly very happy to be here, obviously, just, chill about it) (I do not think I will handle any situation well ever)

I’m not proofreading any of this tonight I want to go finish typing up my. Journal. Before I pass out. But. I’m happy! I still have two more days, and I’m chill, excited to continue to have a great time with my mom and enjoy my first weekend away from the grandparents in. Two months

Art I gave him……. I do love this one a lot. And!! In lieu of a ‘proper’ autograph (that was an accident but I truly don’t care) the 31 quote I am going to get tattooed on my arm as soon as I can <3 another reason I kinda had to gift him some art of mine… something of ‘me’ to give to him in return of something of his (handwriting) that will end up on me

I’ll cry about this at some point. I wanted to earlier but I was still at the con and I am such an ugly crier it’s awful. Honestly still surprised how emotional this all made me

[thefreakandthehair]

eddie is very emotionally attached to his hair. he loves the look, obviously, but also loves using it as a shield. he plays with it when he needs to fidget, he pulls pieces in front of his face when he’s flustered or nervous, he sweeps it over his shoulders to hide his face from time to time. it’s a built-in barrier and ever since he’d grown it out at around 15, he’d sworn to never go back. eddie’s hair make him feel safe.

that is, until he wakes up in the hospital post-upside down to find it cut short. too short-- can’t-twirl-or-play-with-it short. once the shock and relief of oh fuck, I’m alive, thanks steve, wears off, he laments the loss.

"steve, it took me years to grow it out. I’ll be 25 by the time it’s back where it was!" he admits during a rare moment when it's just the two of them in his hospital room. the machines beep evenly and steve sighs from his position in the hard, wood-backed chair next to the bed.

"man, I get it. my nickname was the goddamn hair for awhile, so I know it's a part of you but it'll grow back, right? and--"

"yeah yeah, I know it will, that's not the problem. it’s— ugh, forget it.” eddie instinctively reaches to pull his hair over his left shoulder to hide his face and is reminded of what the problem really is. he feels exposed and seen in a way that he can’t control and it makes his skin crawl-- particularly that it's steve harrington he feels so seen by, and he frankly has too many other crises going on to unpack that at the moment.

steve, for all of the ‘dumb jock’ jokes tossed his way, is perceptive. you don't survive high school in hawkins and four end-of-the-worlds without a dash of social intelligence, after all. so when he sees eddie reach for his hair like a phantom limb, he starts putting puzzle pieces together.

"why don't you want people to see you?"

eddie freezes with his hands falling to his chest, the IV in one hand pulling a bit at his skin. "that's not... I don't ... nothing, it's nothing." he sputters, unsure how steve has gotten such a fucking read on him.

"hey, I mean, I get it. kind of, at least? after the last few fights knocked my brain around, I've gotten some gnarly scars and bruises and I uh, I don't really swim or go around shirtless anymore because of it. I know that's probably not exactly the same but... yeah. I can understand. want me to get you a wig?"

steve watches as eddie slowly turns to look at him, and more importantly, to let steve look at him and his hesitant smile with furrowed eyebrows.

"why are you telling me all this?" eddie wants to think it's more than steve being steve, more than him just looking out, that it's personal. that maybe he likes eddie. hell, there must've been a reason he and wayne were the only two in the room when he woke up. and it clearly hadn't been the first time, given how close steve and wayne seem to be now. he'd pretended to be annoyed about their banter over the chicago cubs but really? it gave eddie a glimpse of something he wanted so badly, it made him ache. but that couldn't be it.

eddie's heart monitor beeps a little faster when steve reaches out to place a hand on top of his. steve looks up at the screen and back down to their hands with a small, hopeful smile.

"you're one of us now." steve shrugs and replies simply, as if that answers any of eddie's burning questions. he doesn't want to overwhelm him, but Steve can't help some good-natured Harrington flirting. "and it'd be a real shame for you to keep hiding that blush."

there's something here, steve thinks, a reason he wants eddie to let him look, to let him see, to keep making him blush from his neck to his nose. he'll give it time though. after all, the danger is gone-- they're here, and alive, and the world is safe, and they've got nothing but time to watch eddie's curls grow back.

[rrenzwrld]

mama’s baby, daddy’s maybe

in which connie is a famous basketball player who has a secret baby with his best friend

the eren fic is coming! i just went ahead a posted this bc it was highly recommended + it was already written.. enjoy! <3

“Leavin so soon?” Layla and I turned around to see Armin standing with Connie. There were still lots of people around so I was surprised paparazzi wasn’t bombarding him or anything. But they probably weren’t allowed in. Layla looked at me and I looked at her.

“I’ll take Celest to the car, c’mon CeeCee!” Layla reached out her hands and Celest went into them, allowing her to pick her up and sit her on her hip.

Connie’s eyes watched as Layla tried to find a way out, leaving me with Armin and Connie.

“You look good, by the way,” He shoved his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants.

“Thank you…” I looked down.

“Hey~ Connie.” Some girls with his jersey on wales past and waved at him. he sent them a wink in return and redirected his attention to me. Armin looked like he was in an awkward place and I felt like I was too.

“I’m gonna… go to the car,” He began to walk out. “Don’t take too long.” He smirked as he whispered in my ear before leaving.

After Armin had left, Connie and I sat down in the stands and just started talking. It was as if we’d been talking all along and didn’t just ghost each other for 2 years. It felt natural. But all I could think about was my baby. Everytime he laughed or even looked at me with those honey hazel eyes, I thought about Celest.

“So that baby… she yours?”

“She is.” I smiled as I thought about her. He looked down, laughing to himself.

“You been busy, huh?”

“A one time thing… we all make stupid decisions. Not all of them we regret.” I partially lied.

He shook his head. “Didn’t say you had to. Just unexpected, that’s all.”

I furrrowed my eyebrows. “Why?”

“Because when we were in school, you were like, you’ve always wanted to do something with yourself and you had things planned out. You told me that you didn’t even want kids until you were 30 because you wanted to make sure all your school was finished.”

“Well things change, life happens.” I stood up, getting a bit offended by what he was saying. It’s like I disappointed him or something.

He stood up and followed me down the stands and outside the arena.

“Tryna run out on me again?”

“Nope, just trying to go home.”

“Well,” He stopped. “At least let me get your number or something. So we can keep in contact.” I looked at him for a few seconds before exchanging phone numbers with him.

“Thank you, Chy. And thanks for coming to my game too, really meant a lot to see you there.”

“You recognized me?”

“I recognize that pretty face anywhere.” Connie smiled. He was probably trying to flatter me to make up for what he said earlier but for some reason I felt like his smile made his comment genuine.

I scoffed. “Don’t do that.”

“I mean it. I’ve always meant it.” I playfully rolled my eyes before crossing my arms and looking down at my feet.

“If you say so…”

He laughed. “I do. Lemme walk you to your car?”

After we left the arena, everyone was pretty much beat so Armin went home and Layla said she would sleep over once we got Celest to bed. And of course we discussed the events of the day.

“Sooo how you feelin?”

“Bout?”

“Seeing him again.” I got quiet. I didn’t know how to feel. I wanted to feel excited because I’ve only imagined what it’d be like to see him again after the 2 years, but I was also nervous out of my mind because I had to tell him about Celest. And now that he’s borderline back into my life, that had to come real soon.

“I enjoyed it. Got to talk to him and stuff.”

“Did he ask you about Celest?”

I nodded slowly. “He did but..”

“You told him??” Layla yelled.

“If you wake up my child—“

“Sorry, sorry.” She whispered. “But did you tell him?”

“No, Layla. I didn’t tell him.”

“When are you going to?” I shrugged.

“I don’t know..” I rubbed random shapes into the surface of the blue velvet couch. I wanted to tell him but I was scared. Scared he’d hate me and he really doesn’t wanna see me again. And scared that he abandons Celest. That would crush my soul and just thinking about it makes me so anxious, like nauseatingly anxious.

“Well, yall can talk for real now. You got his number right?” I nodded.

“Try to build everything back up and then it’ll be easier to know when. The time will be right.” That made sense but Layla was saying this as if he wasn’t a big time athlete with big time money and big time things to do, with not one of those things involve wasting time with me.

“He not gonna have time for that, Layla. He makes money playin ball, not talking to girls that hide babies from him for 2 years.”

“Well that’s your fault. Fix it.” She shrugged.

I groaned. “It’s not gonna be that easy.” Layla began to make her way to the guest bedroom.

“We’ll make it easy, friend.”

[nvuy]

your writing style is a dream of mine, and the pacing & humor in your fics are some of the many reasons i decided to follow you !

i'm trying to write fanfics myself & potentially even run a writing blog! could you share a few writing tips?

you are so cute.

i’ll let you in on a secret: i started actually publishing my fics in 2020, but i since abandoned them because they’re embarrassing. however, here’s one as a starting point. i look back at it and cringe A LOT, but it was my foot in the door, and 15 year old me was very proud of it, so i didn’t want to straight up delete it.

i didn’t start out on tumblr because i get nervous being forced to interact with people because im a pretty abrupt person and i talk about the things that i like too much and im aware that can scare people away. it was about halfway thru writing old habits before i actually posted something. that was this and i posted it because i knew what little audience i had knew ME because i wrote a scaramouche fic. so. scaramouche content.

and because of the tumblr tagging system, people saw it, they liked it, and some people wanted more.

i then interacted with other writers slowly even though i was scared and frankly still am. you dont have to go around asking to be moots or spamming hearts left and right and putting their dicks in ur mouth, but being nice and having a scope around on what other people do on here helped me develop this ugly little blog i have.

i got really into hsr so i write a lot of hsr. i get a lot of people that ask if i could write more genshin impact, and i could, but at the end of the day, it’s my blog, and if i dont want to, i dont have to. i lost interest, so i dont really have to care about it, nor pay it any mind. do i still write it? sure! rarely, but i do. i don’t play wuwa anymore, but im down to write a piece or two if i get an idea, etc etc.

another thing is: don’t write in the hopes that you’ll post it on tumblr. same way i don’t think artists should draw just for the sake of posting. i have so much shit laying on various docs that won’t even be shown on this site, because it doesn’t need to be here. not because it’s bad, or it’s weird, but because i don’t have to post it, because it’s my blog.

the thing is you just be yourself and write whatever the fuck you want. i write horror & weird shit; my audience is probably well aware of that by now, and im not really worried to post anything super weird because its sort of what’s expected of me.

i know horror and romantic cannibalism connotations and yanderes and unsubtle sexy threats is not everyone’s thing, and that’s ok! they don’t have to like what i put out, and i don’t worry about it, because people who like your shit will interact, and people who don’t will not. and people that don’t like ur shit and still interact are losers. hit the block button & move on.

someone is always bound to like your works.

i guess the ‘funny’ comes from the fact that i try to write dialogue how real people would speak. in fictional context, someone like kaedehara kazuha could wax poetry for three hours without stuttering in game, but realistically, nobody can probably do that without pauses, stammers, messing up words, etc. so i try to incorporate a sense of realism into everything, even if it’s a fanfiction in a world where a small boy in white tights is a god and everyone gets tiny little orbs that give them magical elemental powers.

i remember that even though these characters are fictional, i write them as though they could potentially be real people that do things real people do: fidget, stutter, blush, try and be funny and fail, they have problems large or small, etc. you have to mould your personality and writing style to make these characters alive on what you put out—childe seems like a great husband on paper, but is he all that good when he has unchecked mental health problems and has violent outbursts and desires? think about it.

another thing: don’t doubt your skill and prowess, especially in comparing yourself to posts with like 10000+ notes. most of them are note farming bullshit anyway—and a lot of the reader community is more likely to click on porn fics than normal fics. its why the popular posts on the x reader tags are usually porn. it’s half the reason why confiteor is infinitely more popular that old habits when im pretty sure scaramouche is a bigger character on the popularity charts.

strictly nsfw blogs that people make i can guarantee you are a lot more popular than their main blogs.

which brings me to: dont hop on trends. don’t do it. youll burn yourself out. just write what you want. fuck everyone. do whatever the fuck you want. if porn is popular but you’re extremely sex-repulsed or not comfortable, don’t write it. dont write to please people; it’s your blog and your time you’re putting into to do what YOU like, and you’re sharing your work for FREE on a public platform. a lot of people can’t do that. there’s people that follow my blog that openly admit they don’t like yandere/horror/whatever content. am i going to change what i post because of these people? no. not my problem. don’t care. i don’t exist to please everyone, and neither do you. stick to what you like.

don’t write for fandoms you don’t give a shit about just because they’re popular. even if what you like has a small, non-existent fan base, i promise you’ll enjoy writing for that more than something that you’re creating for clicks. notes are nice, but again, you don’t have to post everything you create. half the joy in writing is rediscovering old shit you don’t remember writing for a fandom you actually like. it’s like a reward.

[threewaywithdelusion]

Steve & Robin Bodyswap AU

I'm probably never going to finish this fic because I struggle with follow-through on long fics, but I enjoy this section so I thought I'd post it. At this point, it's September 1986 and Steve and Robin have been body-swapping for about a month (they can't control when it happens). Trigger warnings for homophobia and use of the word queer as a slur.

When the dizzy feeling passed, Robin was in Steve’s body, looking into his bathroom mirror. She was almost naked, only a towel around her waist, and it looked like Steve had been halfway through his hair routine. Robin sighed and picked up Steve’s hairspray and a comb, trying to finish creating Steve’s famous hairstyle. It was harder than Steve made it look, and when she finished it looked a little off-center somehow, like it had melted a little to the side. Was his hair longer than before? Whatever. This was as good as she could get it, so Steve would have to live with it. 

The phone rang as Robin returned to the bedroom. 

“Hello?” Robin answered. 

“Hey,” Steve said. “Do you remember where you’re going tonight?”

“No,” Robin said. “I was planning on doing my English paper and then repainting my nails. I didn’t think we’d switch so late in the day.”

Steve sighed. “Me neither. That’s why I scheduled a date.”

“A date!” Robin shrieked. 

She couldn’t go on a date. With a girl. As Steve Harrington. 

“Yeah,” Steve said, sounding guilty. “Listen. Her name is Jenny and you’re supposed to pick her up at seven. Her address is written on a post-it on the kitchen table.”

“Steve,” Robin said. “I can’t go on this date.”

“Why not?”

“Why not? Because I’m not you! Because she wants to go on a date with Mr. Cool and not some band nerd who rambles when she’s nervous, like, I don’t know, when she’s in front of a pretty girl. I can’t go on my first date with a girl in your body! And I can’t drive! I’ll crash the car and kill us both.”

“You’re not so bad anymore,” Steve said. “At worst, you’ll get into a fender-bender.”

“And what about all the other reasons this is a terrible idea?” Robin demanded. 

“Do you actually mind?” Steve asked, voice small. “Going on your first date with a girl in my body?”

She knew if she said yes, he would let her cancel. But there was something vulnerable in his voice and that made her stop and think. 

Did she mind? For the past three years, Robin had been dreaming of going on a date with a girl. She’d imagined what it would be like to hold a door open for a girl, to hold hands under the table, to giggle at her jokes and maybe even get a kiss at the end of the night. And she’d imagined doing all that in her own body, with someone who was into her. 

Part of her wanted that. Part of her was holding onto that dream of an ideal first date, the way some girls dreamed of a perfect first time. 

But also, Robin had never gone on a date with a girl because she lived in Hawkins. She probably wouldn’t get to go on a date until after she graduated and moved away. Maybe this was her chance to go on a date with a girl. It might not fully count, but it would still be her on the date. Her and this girl. It could at least be good practice for her real first date.

“I don’t mind,” Robin said. “But Steve, I’m going to ruin this.”

“You’re not going to ruin anything,” Steve said. “Just be yourself. Or, well, maybe not yourself, cause you’re supposed to be me. But you’ll be fine!”

Robin groaned. “Steeeeve.”

“It’ll be fine!”

“You won’t be mad at me if I totally tank your date, right?”

“No,” Steve said. “You’re going on a date for me. That’s like, really nice, even if it goes wrong. No one’s ever done that for me before.”

Robin snorted. “Well I would hope not, Dingus. If you’d been bodyswapping with someone else and you hadn’t brought it up by now, I’d be pissed.”

Steve laughed. “Nah, no other bodyswappers. I still think it was the Russian drugs.”

Robin rolled her eyes. “It wasn’t the drugs!”

“It totally was!”

Robin eyed the clock on Steve’s bedside table. “I have to go if I’m going to make it to your date on time.” Especially if she drove at Robin-speed to pick the girl up. 

“Okay,” Steve said. “Remember, her name is Jenny and her address is on the kitchen table. I’ll start the rough draft of your essay and then you can fix it tomorrow.”

Robin winced. Steve seemed to be enjoying school more now that he was in her body and his dyslexia didn’t get in the way, but he was still a terrible essay writer. There probably wouldn’t be much usable material in whatever he wrote, but she appreciated that he was trying to take the burden of half her schoolwork. 

“Thanks,” she said. “Maybe just do an outline?”

Steve paused for a moment. When he spoke again, there was something off about his voice. “Yeah, okay.”

Robin wanted to push, but she really didn’t have time and her stomach was already starting to churn with nerves at the idea of going on a date. She said her goodbyes and hung up the phone before going to Steve’s closet. She didn’t know how to dress for a date, especially as a boy, but presumably Jenny wanted to go out with Steve, so Robin pulled out jeans and a polo. She winced as she looked in the mirror, King Steve staring back. Swoopy hair, pretentious polo, and handsome face – all looking horribly out of place with Robin in his body, shoulders slumping in uncomfortably. 

Robin looked away. 

She found the post-in on the kitchen and Steve’s keys on the hook by the front door before sliding nervously behind the wheel of Steve’s car. She took a deep breath and slid the key into the ignition, backing painfully slowly out of the driveway. Her nerves increased as she drove, building like a knot in her stomach. It was so odd how Steve’s body handled nervousness. In her own body, Robin would be bouncing, or pacing, or flapping her hands, anything to expel this nervous energy. When Robin was anxious, she needed to move, to babble, to get it all out. 

Steve’s body held onto anxiety, using it to twist his insides tighter and tighter. His shoulders ached from the tension he held and his heart started pounding and the idea of moving didn’t feel helpful, not to the body Robin was in. 

But she wanted to move, and the mixed signals just added to the confused anxiety in her body. 

When she arrived at Jenny’s house, she had to knock at the door. Luckily, a girl opened it, dressed nicely and looking the right age to be Steve’s date.

This was confirmed when the girl smiled and said, “Hi, Steve.”

“Hi,” Robin said. Way to go Steve! Jenny was pretty, long blonde curls and big blue eyes. She was wearing a sundress with a square neckline that drew attention to the line of her collarbones, and a short skirt that revealed long, smooth legs, tan from the summer sun. Her hands, fiddling with the hem of her dress, were decorated by thin gold rings on each finger. 

“Like what you see?”

Robin flinched before she registered Jenny’s teasing tone. 

Jenny was flirting. She thought she was being eyed by Steve Harrington and she liked it, so she was teasing him for staring.

But it wasn’t Steve. It was Robin, admiring a pretty girl. Robin, who lived in fear of being caught staring and being chased out of town by an angry mob with pitchforks and crosses and Save the Children posters. 

Robin managed a shaky smile for Jenny. “You look really pretty.”

Jenny looked pleased. She called a goodbye into the house and followed Robin to the car. Robin took a deep breath as she slid behind the wheel again. 

“How was your day?” Jenny asked. 

“Good,” Robin said. She’d gone to work this morning as Steve, then finished the afternoon at school as herself. She’d gone to band practice, where they had started a new song. But that wasn’t what Steve had done with his day. Or, well, it wouldn’t have been if they weren’t swapping bodies. Steve had graduated. “I had work.”

“What made you want to work at Family Video?” Jenny asked. 

Robin couldn’t answer for a moment, focused on making a left turn. Then there was a pothole to swerve and a stop sign to navigate. By the time Robin thought of Jenny’s question again, the silence was awkward and heavy. 

“Uh, movies?” Robin said. “Yeah, I, uh, like movies. Big movie fan.”

She wished she could see Jenny’s expression, but Robin had to watch the road. 

“Okay,” Jenny said slowly, sounding skeptical. “What movies do you like?”

“Grease,” Robin said, naming one of Steve’s favorites. “

“Oh I love Grease!” Jenny said. “It’s so romantic, isn’t it?”

Robin hated Grease. She thought it was patriarchal and ridiculous and taught women that they should change to win the love of men who treated them badly. Sure, Sandy looked hot at the end, but it came at the cost of her personality and autonomy and self-expression. Robin hated the idea that a girl was supposed to conform to what a guy wanted of her. Why couldn’t Danny be the one to change?

“Yeah, it’s romantic,” Robin said. 

They hit a curb as she took a turn and Jenny let out a little yelp. Robin refocused on the road. 

“Sorry,” she said. “I, uh, ran out of contacts? And lost my glasses? I don’t think I can talk and drive right now.”

“Oh,” Jenny said, sounding nervous and unimpressed. That was fair. Robin wouldn’t like it if the guy driving her around said he couldn’t see shit.  “Yeah, sure.”

They drove in silence until they got to the diner. 

[Jenny asks about basketball and robin fumbles her way through answers]

[They kiss goodnight on Jenny’s doorstep]

As soon as Jenny entered her house, Robin felt her face crumple. She retreated to the car and drove back to Steve’s house, shaking a little. She wanted to cry, but Steve’s body wouldn’t. There was a lump in her throat and an ache in her chest, but her eyes were dry. 

She hated this. She hated that the date had gone so badly. She hated that her first kiss had been stolen. That it hadn’t been her Jenny had wanted to kiss and it hadn’t been her lips that had been kissed. She hated that Steve had sent her on this date. She hated that she’d agreed. She hated Steve’s stupid body, which wasn’t hers and was foreign and masculine and wouldn’t even fucking cry when she wanted it to. 

Robin parked and stormed into Steve’s house. She slammed the door behind her, which felt good, so she did it a few more times. Slam. Slam. Slam. When she felt out of breath, she collapsed against the entryway wall. 

Steve’s reflection stared back at her from the mirror above the key hooks. 

She couldn’t take it. She ran up the stairs, bypassing Steve’s bedroom and entering his parents’ room. She’d never been in here before because Steve acted like it was forbidden, but she didn’t care right now. She found Mrs. Harrington’s vanity and started ripping the drawers open, upending makeup and hair supplies until she found several bottles of nail polish. 

They were all boring pinks and reds, exactly what a housewife would wear, but Robin grabbed the darkest red and took it downstairs. She grabbed a David Bowie record and blasted it, propping her hands on her thighs and starting to paint her nails. Her hands were shaking, but she stubbornly pushed through, trying to paint a neat maroon coat onto Steve’s nails. 

She stopped and stared after she finished the first hand. 

It was Steve’s hand still, broad and square-fingered, but it felt better with the nail polish. A bit more feminine. 

Robin had spent so long in her own body trying to express herself without femininity. She didn’t like dresses or skirts or long hair. Her makeup was smudgy and her jewelry chunky and she liked to look good but not in a girly-girl way. 

In Steve’s body though, she felt like she had to compensate for its masculinity. She was still a girl, even if she wasn’t a girly one, and seeing a man staring back at her in the mirror was uncomfortable. She wanted to put Steve’s body in a dress and grow out his hair and do his makeup. But that all felt like a violation of Steve’s will for what he wanted to do with his body. She was just a guest here – she couldn’t change anything he couldn’t quickly change back. Even if she spent a solid half of her waking hours in this body. 

Steve’s hand looked good in maroon nail polish. It felt a bit more like hers. 

***

Steve woke up in his own body, which was rare these days. 

He was in his bed and he had a headache, which wasn’t that unusual. But it wasn’t a spike of pain in his skull, no oncoming migraine. This felt like a headache from crying. 

Steve went to the bathroom mirror and squinted at his reflection. Maybe Robin had a point and Steve should get glasses. His bad eyesight was much more noticeable and annoying when he spent half his time looking at the world through Robin’s 20/20 eyes. 

With just a little squinting though, Steve found that he was right; his eyes were red. Robin had been crying. 

Steve’s heart sank. He’d thought Robin would call after the date yesterday, but he hadn’t heard from her. He hadn’t heard from her, and she had cried herself to sleep. What had happened?

He’d been kind of happy when Robin hadn’t called, which he felt bad about. But she hadn’t wanted him to write a draft of her paper, just an outline. It was stupid to be upset about that. But for the first time in his life, Steve was following what was happening in Robin’s English and history classes. They were way more interesting when he could read without getting frustrated, and he’d wanted to write the paper to help Robin but also to see what he could do when he actually understood the book. 

But Robin didn’t think he was smart enough to write her essay. 

Which was fine, obviously, Steve knew that Robin was way smarter than him. He shouldn’t be upset just because Robin knew that too. 

It was fine. The problem was that something had made Robin cry. 

He was picking her up for school, so he would ask on the drive. 

Steve started getting ready, brushing his teeth and doing his hair. There was too much hairspray in it, the way there usually was when Robin had been the last one to style it, so he brushed it through a bit extra to try to get some of the stiffness out. 

There was also nail polish on his fingers. 

Steve stopped for a long moment to stare. The nail polish was pretty, a dark red color and super smooth. Steve had tried to paint Robin’s nails last night and he’d done a much worse job, getting nail polish all over her skin and accidentally making it lumpy and full of bubbles. 

But on Steve’s hands, the polish was neat and smooth and elegant. Steve had never had his nails painted before, but it was pretty. He liked it. 

Maybe Steve shouldn’t have painted Robin’s nails. He’d been under the impression that Robin hated the process of painting her nails – always complaining about having to sit still while they dried. But if she liked it enough to do it in Steve’s body, maybe he should have let her paint her own. 

Steve grabbed his work vest and a granola bar and drove to Robin’s house. She came out the door in a hurry, jacket half-on, shouting something back at her parents. But she was quiet as she got in the car. She barely said hello before busying herself looking through Steve’s tapes. 

Steve frowned. “Robin? Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Robin said. “I’m fine. Just tired, you know?”

Steve had gone to bed early last night, which meant Robin’s body shouldn’t be tired. He didn’t say that. 

“How did the date go?”

Robin froze, only for a second, but it was noticeable given how she was always in motion. “It was okay. She said you should call her.”

“That sounds pretty good,” Steve said tentatively. 

“Yeah,” Robin said. She put in a tape and turned the volume up. 

Dread started to grow in Steve’s stomach. He waited until he’d pulled into Dustin’s driveway and honked to turn down the music. Dustin always took a minute to come out. 

“Did I overstep?” Steve asked quietly. 

“What do you mean?” Robin asked. She was fiddling with her bracelets, and Steve suddenly realized she hadn’t even looked at him since getting in the car. 

“When I asked you to go on the date for me. Was that too much?”

Robin still didn’t look at him. “Steve-”

“Hey!” Dustin said loudly, climbing into the backseat. “You won’t believe what happened in our campaign last night. So we were in this forest, right, and then Eddie had this really suspicious looking dwarf show up-”

Dustin kept babbling about his campaign all the way to the school and Steve tried to react in the appropriate places. He had no idea what was happening in the story because Dustin used way too many words that Steve was pretty sure didn’t exist. But he’d already hurt Robin somehow; he didn’t want to hurt Dustin as well. 

Steve dropped them both at school — Robin leaving with a little “bye” and Dustin still rambling on his way out of the car — and went to work. He was the only one working until Robin got on in the afternoon, so it was pretty boring. A few housewives came in, but mostly Steve rewound and reshelved tapes. He contemplated actually cleaning, but decided he wasn’t bored enough to do that and ended up tapping his fingers idly on the counter as he half-paid attention to the children’s movie that was playing on the tv. 

Today, of all days, Steve didn’t want to be alone with his thoughts. 

What had gone so wrong? He’d asked Robin if she was okay with going on the date and she had said yes. But she hadn’t called and she couldn’t even look at him this morning. That had never happened before. They had bickered back when they’d been getting to know each other at Scoops Ahoy, but they’d never had a real fight. 

All Steve could think of was Nancy. Nancy, pulling away because Steve couldn’t be what she needed. Nancy, who Steve had hurt without even realizing it. Nancy, who Steve had loved and who he had lost because he was bullshit. 

He couldn’t be bullshit with Robin. He’d thought he was safe from ruining this because they were friends and they’d felt mind-melded even before the body swapping had started. 

But Steve had clearly done something wrong. He had to figure out what it was and fix it before he lost Robin. 

A man came in, dressed in a suit, clearly on his lunch break. Steve tracked him as he wandered the shelves, but the man didn’t seem to need any help, quickly finding a movie and bringing it up to the counter. 

It was [romance movie]. 

“It’s for my wife,” the man said, as if he thought Steve was judging him. 

“That’s romantic,” Steve said. “Can I get your name?” 

“Johnny Richards,” the man said. “My wife’s upset I had to work late the past month. It’s not my fault! I work for the mayor’s office and we’re still dealing with the fallout of that fucking mall fire.”

Steve’s customer service smile turned even more frozen. He mechanically pulled up the man’s profile. Johnny Richards’ account had a few action movies, some chick flicks, and a lot of pornography. 

Steve tried to change the topic to Johnny’s wife again. “I’m sure she’ll appreciate a movie date night. This one’s a good choice.”

He flashed Johnny Richards another customer service smile as he scanned the movie, but Johnny wasn’t looking at his face. He was watching Steve’s hands. 

“That’ll be three dollars,” Steve said.

Johnny’s eyes flashed to his, lips curled back in a sneer. “You a queer?”

Steve blinked in confusion. “What?”

“You. A. Queer?” Johnny repeated. 

Steve’s muscles locked at the word and at the tone the man was using. He automatically looked for Robin, trying to make sure he was between her and the threat, before he remembered that she was at school. 

“No?” Steve said. He didn’t sound confident, which he knew was a mistake, but he was really confused.

“No?” The man mocked. “Then why are you painting your nails like one?”

Oh. Steve glanced down at his hands, at the red color on his nails. He’d kept it on when he’d left the house because he liked it and because Robin had been the one to paint them, but he’d been too preoccupied to think his decision through. 

He should have known better than to wear nail polish in Hawkins, Indiana. 

“I didn’t paint them,” Steve said. “My friend did. She, um, wanted to practice.”

Johnny gave Steve a disdainful look. “Acting like a pussy isn’t going to get you any girls. If she’s painting your nails, you’re stuck in the friend zone — you don’t have to give her your dignity as well. Have some self-respect and stop looking like a goddamn queer.”

“I’m not a queer,” Steve protested. 

“Just some friendly advice,” Johnny said. “Better you hear it from me, than someone who wouldn’t be so nice.”

It sounded so much like something Steve’s father would say that he gave an automatic, “Yes, sir.”

Johnny Richards nodded, like that was the reaction he’d been hoping for. He slapped three dollars on the counter, far from Steve’s hand as if he didn’t want to touch him, then grabbed the tape and walked out. 

Steve felt hot all over, shame and embarrassment and something else filling him. He felt dirty, like he shouldn’t have liked having his nails done. 

He was a boy. He wasn’t supposed to like girly things. Even if he was a girl half the time, when he was in Robin’s body and she was in his. 

He didn’t mind being in Robin’s body. He didn’t mind her longer hair, or her painted nails, or her makeup, even when it was on him. He liked wearing her clothes, even though most of it wasn’t his style and he wished he could get some nice blouses and skirts. 

But that was all when he was in Robin’s body. He was allowed to like those things when he was a girl. He had been stupid to think he could get away with painted nails as a boy. 

Steve was still shaking. He felt awful, like he’d been through something worse than a few mean comments from a stranger. The kind of comments he himself had made in the past. 

If this was how everyone he had bullied had felt, maybe he deserved to feel this way. 

Steve kept his fingers curled as he helped the next few customers, hiding his nails from sight. 

By the time Robin showed up for her afternoon shift, Steve was able to act sufficiently normal. Robin was still half-avoiding him, but it was Friday afternoon and they were ridiculously busy trying to rent out movies for the weekend. 

Steve waited until they were alone in the store, closing up, to say “Can you please come over? I want to talk.”

“Okay,” Robin said to the ground. But she got in the car with him and let him drive her to his house. 

They took their shoes off by the entryway and made their way to the kitchen, moving seamlessly to make dinner. They were both comfortable moving around Steve’s kitchen as if they lived there, because they both lived there. 

Steve almost added peas to his own plate before he remembered that he hated peas. They only tasted good when he was Robin. 

When they were both picking at their reheated lasagne, Steve said, “I’m sorry.”

Robin’s head jerked up, a bewildered look on her face. 

“I’m sorry,” Steve repeated. He hadn’t said those words much the first sixteen years of his life. But he’d say them a million times now if that’s what it took to get Robin to forgive him. 

“For what?” Robin asked. 

Was this a test? Steve’s mother did that sometimes, made him explain what he was apologizing for so she could scoff in his face and tell him that wasn’t why she was mad and to try again. 

“For asking you to go on that date for me?” Steve guessed. 

Robin didn’t look happy with that answer. 

“I don’t know,” Steve quickly admitted. Sometimes it was better to just get it over with. She could explain how he’d fucked up and then she could yell and then he could apologize and hopefully they would be okay. “I’m sorry for being so stupid that I don’t know what I did, I guess. But I didn’t mean you make you mad. Or sad? And I’m really sorry.”

“I’m not mad at you,” Robin said, sounding angry. 

Steve hesitated. This felt like a bad idea, but “You seem mad.”

“I am, but not at you.”

“Then why haven’t you looked at me all day?”

Robin growled and got to her feet, starting to pace. “It’s complicated, okay? I’m mad at your stupid body, and you’re in it right now. And I’m mad at this whole situation. It fucking sucks, okay?”

Steve didn’t know how to fix the situation. They had hit a dead end with everything they had tried, and unless El got her powers back, their only possible next step was to trust the government scientists. Call Steve crazy, but even before the Russians he hadn’t trusted government scientists, especially ones who had experimented on a little girl for her powers. 

So he focused on the part he maybe could fix. “Why are you mad at my body?”

Robin spun on her heel, still pacing, arm flying as she tried to explain. “It just feels all… off. Wrong. Like, I’m a girl and I hate being trapped in a boy’s body. I hate being perceived as a man. Don’t you feel the same when you’re in my body? Like it’s wrong being a girl?”

No, Steve didn’t. But that probably wasn’t helpful to say right now. And it was weird. Shameful. 

If Robin didn’t like boy stuff when she was in Steve’s body, why did he like girl stuff when he was in hers?

“I guess I didn’t think about it so much,” Steve lied. 

“It’s just… ugh! It makes my skin crawl,” Robin said. “And I hate that we switch so much and we can’t control it. I feel like I’m missing my life. I missed my first day of senior year. I barely ever see my parents anymore, and I miss them. They’re threatening to kick me out of band because I’ve missed so many rehearsals, but you can’t play the trumpet so I don’t know what else we’re supposed to do. And I hate never being able to make plans with anyone but the kids because no one else knows about the body-swapping and I can’t ever guarantee I’m going to be in my own body.”

That was a lot. Steve had no idea how to fix any of that. He hadn’t really been bothered by the switching — his only friends all knew about the Upside Down, so if he showed up in Robin’s body to plans he’d made as Steve, no one batted an eye. 

But Robin was different. Robin had a life outside of him and the kids. She had friends and school and band and parents who loved her. 

Of course she would feel like she was missing out on her life. 

“And!” Robin continued, still pacing. “I fucking hated that date. I didn’t know how to drive and I didn’t know what to say. She kept expecting me to be you, and she kept looking all awkward and put-off whenever I answered something like me. And I don’t know a thing about basketball and I hate Grease!”

“Why would you hate-”

“And she kissed me,” Robin said. 

Steve went quiet. 

There were tears in Robin’s eyes. 

“It was the end of the date and she just kissed me, even though the date sucked. Even though she hated every part of me that was actually me. And I’ve never kissed anyone before. It was my first kiss, and it was with a girl, but I was a boy and I was you and she didn’t even like me.”

Robin started crying. 

Steve didn’t know what else to do, so he pulled her into a hug and let her sob into his shoulder. 

“I never thought I’d get to kiss a girl,” Robin said hoarsely. “Or at least not while I was in Hawkins. And then I did and it was all wrong.”

There was so much pain in her voice and it was all Steve’s fault. He never should have asked her to go on that stupid date. He could have just rescheduled instead of putting her in that position. 

She’d said she wasn’t mad at him, but maybe she had just been lying to spare Steve’s feelings. This was all his fault. 

He would have to find a way to fix it. He wasn’t sure how yet, but he would do it. 

Eventually, Robin stopped crying. She pulled out of Steve’s hug, grabbing his hands instead and swinging them between them, looking down so she wouldn’t have to meet his eyes. 

Then she froze, lifting Steve’s hands to her face. Steve tensed for a moment, thinking of the man from Family Video, before he remembered that this was Robin. She wasn’t going to judge him. She was the one who’d painted his nails in the first place. 

“You kept it on,” Robin said. 

“Yeah,” Steve said. 

“You didn’t have to,” Robin said. “Why would you do that?”

Steve shrugged. 

“You can take it off, if you want,” Robin said. “I didn’t mean to stick you with it after we switched back. I just needed to do something to make your body feel more like me.”

Because Robin hated being in Steve’s body. He understood that much, at least. His body came with headaches and a deaf ear and blurry eyesight and dyslexia. And maleness, which Steve hadn’t realized would be strange for Robin.

“I can keep it on,” Steve said. “If it makes you more comfortable when we switch.”

Robin bit her lip, looking hesitant. “It’s still your body, Steve. I don’t want to make it comfortable for me by making it uncomfortable for you.”

Steve was all twisted up inside. He didn’t know how he felt about the nail polish. “I don’t mind it. I can keep it on.”

Robin still hesitated. “People might be… mean. If you keep it on.”

Steve felt hot all over again. Off-balance. 

But what could he say? He couldn’t complain to Robin of all people that he’d gotten called a queer today at work. He would sound like a whiny, self-centered dick. He knew Robin had gotten called slurs before. And it was worse, because for her they were actually true. 

He was just being a baby about this. He had to toughen up and get over it. 

“Please,” he said forcing a smile. “Nobody’s going to say anything to Steve Harrington.”

Robin scanned his face, like she was checking if he was sure, and he gave her his best over-confident smirk, a look he hadn’t really pulled out since the King Steve days. 

Maybe it was because he’d never used this expression on Robin before, but she seemed to believe it. She smiled back at him and he could see that it was real. 

“Thanks, Steve,” she said. “We should get more bottles though. I’m not sure maroon is really your color.”

Steve pretended to be offended. “But I want to match my baby.”

“Your baby?” Robin asked, eyebrows up. 

“My car,” Steve said. 

Robin moaned. “Ugh. It’s bad enough you have a picture of a car hanging in your room. You are not allowed to start calling your car your baby, Steve. I will disown you.”

“You can’t disown me! You literally are me half the time.”

“I can and will disown you,” Robin countered. “I’ll be disowning you as a person, not your body, so I’ll just ignore you. Unless you act normal about cars. No calling them baby, or calling yourself their daddy. That might have been the most traumatizing part of Starcourt, really.”

“That was the most traumatizing part of Starcourt,” Steve repeated incredulously, putting his hands on his hips. 

“Yep,” Robin said, nodding firmly. “That was the most traumatizing part.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “I’ll think about acting normal. You staying over?”

“I guess I should, at this point,” Robin said. “Let me just call my parents.”

Steve caught Robin’s arm as she moved to the phone. “You don’t have to stay. If you miss your parents and you want to see them, you should go home.”

It hurt to say. Steve didn’t want Robin to go. He didn’t want to be alone in his house after being alone at the store all day. 

Maybe Robin could see that, because her expression softened. “No,” she said. “I’ll stay.”

They fell asleep together, Steve finding it much easier to keep the nightmares at bay when he knew Robin was by his side, safe from Russians and monsters. 

He woke up in Robin’s body, wrapped in his own arms. 

***

Steve and Robin spent the weekend together. 

Robin felt terrible about making Steve feel bad. She hadn’t meant to take her anger out on him — she was mad at him, but he hadn’t done anything wrong. He never would have pushed her to go on the stupid date if she’d said no and it wasn’t his fault they were swapping bodies. 

But it was Robin’s fault that Steve had had that look on his face — fearful and desperate and apologetic, like he was afraid that he had irreparably damaged their friendship. 

Sometimes Robin forgot that Steve was as desperate to keep her as she was to keep him. Sometimes a mean little voice in her brain whispered that he was Steve Harrington, that he’d been cool and popular and he had known how to get people to like him. That even now, he was worshipped by a pack of feral children and he was generous and selfless and funny and interesting and that anyone would be lucky to be his friend. He didn’t have to settle for Robin, who couldn’t read social cues and rambled way too much and had never had a real friend before Steve. 

She hated that voice in her head. It was a liar and it was mean to both him and her. Steve might have been popular, but he had never had a close friend before Robin (or maybe Dustin) either. He might be adored by his kids, but he had no friends his own age. And he was incredible in a million ways, but he also thought Robin was incredible and he told her all the time, calling her funny and brave and smart like he didn’t care that she was a socially inept nerd.

She hadn’t meant to hurt him. She hadn’t realized that quietly seething — at him, a little, but also at the injustice of this whole situation — would hurt him more than outright telling him she was upset. 

She should have known better. She knew what had happened in his relationship with Nancy, and while she was nothing like Nancy Wheeler and she definitely wasn’t dating Steve, she knew Steve had a fear of being unintentionally terrible to the people he loved.

He had never been terrible to her, not even once, not even when she’d rejected him or come out to him or made him suffer through period cramps in her body. 

But Robin had been terrible to Steve, on purpose at first when she’d been forced to work with King Steve at Scoops Ahoy and then unintentionally a few times, like yesterday, when she hadn’t taken enough care with Steve’s emotions.

Robin decided to make it up to him. On Saturday morning they cooked breakfast together, making blueberry pancakes and coffee. Then Robin helped Steve re-do the nails he’d painted on her body, showing him how to get the air bubbles out and how to paint it in coats so it could dry in between. Steve watched attentively and held Robin’s hands up proudly when he was done. 

They hung out with the gremlins Saturday afternoon. Back in their own bodies, Steve taught Lucas how to shoot hoops while Robin played a vicious game of Monopoly against Dustin and Mike. 

“How come your nails are red?” Dustin asked Steve when Steve and Lucas came in from the driveway, sweaty and panting. 

“I painted them,” Robin said. Mike landed on Park Place and Robin grinned as she charged him an exorbitant amount of money. Capitalism was so fun when it was fictional and she was winning.

“Isn’t that weird though?” Mike asked. “Having your nails painted?”

Steve tensed. Robin had been waiting for the moment he gave up on the painted nails as too feminine or too gay, and apparently Mike’s question was that moment. Robin had honestly thought he would last until at least Monday. 

“Munson has his nails painted,” Steve said cattily, which wasn’t what Robin had expected at all.

Mike rolled his eyes. “Yeah, cause it’s metal. You’re too preppy to pull off painted nails.”

Steve looked a little dumbfounded and Robin hid a grin. Apparently the kids’ problem wasn’t with a man having his nails painted, it was with Steve doing it. 

“Steve’s metal,” Lucas said. 

Mike scoffed. “How?”

“He has a bat full of nails,” Lucas said reasonably. “That’s pretty metal.”

“See, Wheeler?” Steve boasted. “I’m metal enough to paint my nails.”

Mike scowled. “I’m more metal than you are.”

They all looked at Mike, scrawny as a beanpole and dressed in horrifically mismatched clothing. Robin felt a bit blinded by the bright colors he was wearing. 

Dustin was the first one to start laughing, but they all eventually joined in. 

Mike grumbled, crossing his arms defensively. “Will would’ve agreed with me.”

“You mean he would have lied to spare your feelings,” Dustin teased. 

Mike yelped and launched a pillow at Dustin, who threw one back, and then they were all engaged in a pillow fight with Steve’s mom’s fancy throw pillows. Robin used to opportunity to whack at Mike and Dustin, who were objectively the most annoying of the children. She was about to get Dustin from behind when all of a sudden she was looming over Lucas, all the way across the room. 

Robin lost her balance and fell, straight onto Lucas, who let out a high-pitched yelp as her elbows and knees hit him. 

“Sorry,” Robin gasped, rolling off him. “I didn’t know Steve was doing fucking acrobatics during a pillow fight.”

Lucas’s head jerked sharply. “Woah. Robin?”

Robin nodded. 

Lucas smiled and lifted a pillow, smacking it across Robin’s face. As Robin sputtered, he said “that’s for using illegal weapons in a pillow fight. No elbows!”

“Oh, you’re on, Sinclair.”

As Robin tried to murder Lucas with a pillow, she thought that this was what she was missing in the rest of her life; people who watched her switch bodies with Steve and then just kept going like it was normal. She hated dropping into her body in the middle of a customer interaction at Family Video, when the customer would get mad at having to repeat the name of the movie they were looking for. She hated dropping into her body mid-conversation with Kate, unsure what the hell they were talking about and getting weird looks for babbling more off-topic than usual. She hated her inability to know where she was going to be at any given minute, or who she was going to be. 

But with Steve’s kids, who’d been to hell and back and didn’t think a bit of body-swapping was the weirdest thing they’d ever seen, she almost felt normal. 

“Let’s get Steve,” Robin whispered to Lucas. They crept up behind Steve — which was so weird, watching the back of her own head as Steve used her body to fight off Dustin and Mike — and jumped at him, whacking him with pillows. 

Steve shrieked — high-pitched with Robin’s vocal cords — and spun, narrowing his eyes at Robin in his body. 

“Oh, it’s on, Buckley.”