#i’ll be fine in the morning

[excelsior9173]

…

i don’t know what the solution is. i love love love getting to visit my family. there is nothing more important to me in this world

went home to see my dad today as a belated birthday present. we spent the day together- i baked him a loaf of rye bread, we thrifted, we went to lunch, and we watched some football. it was a great day!

but every time i get the chance to spend time with my family like this, with no obligations looming or any major worries, it crushes me to come back to my place and back to my life

idk why. but it triggers the worst depressive episodes. every. fucking. time. and idk how to fix it. i can’t just not see my family, that would make it worse. but i hate feeling this sad and low when I get back to my home. it never feels like home, home is where my dad is. home is where my childhood bedroom is. home is with my mom baking something. not in this apartment alone because my sister is out with friends

idk. i’m just sad. And lonely. and don’t want to go back to work. i want to go home. i want to hang out with my dad some more.

[fearthedietcoke]

One day I will have a partner who is so in love with me that I’ll never feel undesirable again. I promise myself that I will never stay with someone who makes me feel second place (again).

At the end of the day, that’s all I want.

(I know this is a dramatic and unnecessary post but it’s just been a rough few weeks and I just want to wallow in sadness for just like 10 minutes)

[passinnotesinsecrecy]

very very very sad drunk tonight :///

[paeeje]

I’m super stressed and just fed up with everything and I need to talk to someone or just like be able to enjoy relaxing and actually have a fun time with someone but I can’t and anybody I COULD talk to doesn’t actually listen and I just want to scream

[jellyjamheadobb]

internal thoughts

hm. have you ever cared about someone so much that it physically hurts, and yet constantly feel undeserving of them. the way their eyes look up at you as they lay in your lap, filled with so much… affection, dare I say even love. the way they can make you feel like you need to throw up, but somehow in a positive way. their laugh makes you deliriously happy, as stupid as it is. and you know how fucked up you are, and how if you keep them you’ll drag them down in your muck, and they know that. but they still stay by you, not because they believe they can fix you or anything. they just actually.. genuinely like you for who you are. it’s the best and worse feeling ever, and yet selfishly you’re happy about it. you wonder how long it’ll last before they yfinally realize how awful you are, and leave. I wonder. I wonder how long this feeling of happiness will last. it scares me. it scares me so much that I want to leave them so it won’t hurt as much. you don’t want to get too attached, but it might be too late for that. so you’re constantly fighting yourself between them and what should be done

[pangur-and-grim]

what’s happened now?? oh pangur….

[statelysapphic]

The weight of existence is incredibly heavy this evening, bestie

[glowingsand]

miri is only five. sometimes she needs help with her hair

[geminison]

Late night preparations

[ghostbeam]

𝐕𝐚𝐦𝐩𝐢𝐫𝐞 𝐄𝐦𝐩𝐢𝐫𝐞, a vampire!todoroki anthology!!! these fics will be released throughout the month of october and they include dark content, which will be tagged accordingly as each fic is released. so please mind the tags!! all fics take place within the same universe as biting down, and serve as insight to the lives of the vampire family of the todorokis. [coming soon]

☽ 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 ☽ 𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐛𝐨𝐚𝐫𝐝 ☽

𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐲 𝐭𝐢𝐥 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐬 (𝐟𝐮𝐲𝐮𝐦𝐢 𝐭𝐨𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐢 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫)

⇢ fuyumi is fascinated by you. she’s obsessed with your humanity, only you’re not human. you’re like her.

𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐧𝐨𝐰 (𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐨𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐢 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫)

⇢ the first time you meet shouto, you bite him. he teaches you how to deal with being a monster.

𝐜𝐚𝐧’𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐦 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐦𝐞, 𝐜𝐚𝐧’𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐦 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐠𝐨 (𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐨 𝐭𝐨𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐢 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫)

⇢ you and natsuo have an arrangement. a very bloody one.

𝐟𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 (𝐭𝐨𝐮𝐲𝐚 𝐭𝐨𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐢 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫)

⇢ touya’s curse and snapshots of forever.

Notes: hi everyone!!! I’m trying this out for the month of October + my way of celebrating Halloween with u all. I’ve had the idea to explore this universe and the todoroki’s for a while, and what better time than spooky season! Sorry the summaries are so vague im absolutely horrible at writing them but i tried!!!! I’m hoping to get them all out within the same month, but knowing me this might bleed into november. But anyways thank u all for being here and I hope u enjoy these<3333

[saturn-sends-hugs]

happy wednesday y'all!!

a gift for u!!!

no summary this time, can’t have any spoilers :)

BUT!! i will give u this

taglist under the cut:

@arctrooper69 @inkstainedhandswithrings @floundrickthewayfarer @ihaventpiickedausername @the-bi-space-ace @myrtlesb @renton6echo @blackseafoam

<333

[lux-intrus]

… sharing a headspace with Diansu is all fun and games until you learn that he still has access to Invictus

And that he didn’t build an off-switch into it because, and I fucking quote

Death was the planned off switch

This doesn’t feel exactly planned to me but what do I know

[catboywizard]

exactly one week from now and i’ll (probably) be fully jewish!

[writingatdusk]

Just finished watching all of The Edge of Sleep, and it was amazing. I’m really proud of Mark!

For those in the US, it is available Right Now on Prime Video!

It is easily bingeable and perfect for spooky season, or any season.

I have rated it on both Prime Video and IMDb, so please do also after you watch it.

Please watch The Edge of Sleep, even if you are unfamiliar with Markiplier or the podcast the show is based off of. The show is really good and weird and scary and unique in a sea of sequels and unimaginative dialogue and reality tv shows. I do highly recommend it and frankly I’m too tired right now to be completely biased. It’s a good scary weird time- the show that is.

I have already told my therapist about it last week, and they expressed interest in watching. I will rewatch it with my mom and my brother and probably tell my friends about in the morning. Also my medical providers as I see them more than most people. Why not?

I stayed up late to watch this, but I always have trouble sleeping anyway. Though I am feeling really tired…

So, I’m gonna go to sleep now. And I’m sure I’ll wake up and see all your lovely posts in the morning.

I mean, what else could happen?

[shima-draws]

Prepping my reaction images for tomorrow’s Pokemon Presents as we speak. We poppin the BIGGEST bottles when a PMD remake gets announced. Or a non-ILCA BW remake. Or Legends Kyurem. Or just a new PMD in general. Let’s GO boys

[corvid-canidae-art]

help it is late at night and I’m listening to the song “putting the dog to sleep” by the antlers. And now I actually kind of wish I was the dog in that song. I am NOT suicidal btw. I love living I love sunlight I love being on earth etc. HOWEVER I want that. I want to bleed out to death in a snowy forest where the sky is so so clear and I can see the stars as they were when I was born, being held in the arms of someone who loves me so dearly that to give me peace they shot me. Even if it kills them. Even if it breaks their heart, they love me enough to let me go gently because I begged them to. Because I wanted it to be them. I will always choose them, and it always will be even if it’s the last thing I do. I want to be held tight in their warm embrace in the snow surrounding us, my life bleeding out from me and into their gentle hands, the hands that held me when I cried for them, held me when we danced all those summers ago, cradled my face and wiped the tears from my eyes even though I snarled in fear, in pain. The hands that belonged to someone so human, so unafraid, so caring as to love a beast as I. To take my teeth in his neck with a smile and hold my talons despite my claws, to wipe the blood from my snout with a loving gaze. Someone I will love forever until my last dying breath and then beyond my life. Someone who will miss me for the rest of his. I want to go looking at his face, despite his tears, despite the blood on his hands, my blood. Despite it all, I want that. To be with him one last time like this, held close to his heart so I may hear him sing in his heartbeat once more to me of our time together. Then I close my eyes one final time, the stars gleaming so bright exactly as they looked the day I saw them the first time all those years ago, then blurring together as the world spins and fades away…

idk is that like. Normal. Is that a normal thing to want?? idk but i promise I’m fine ok i don’t WANT to die. But like when I do I want to go like that does that make sense. Something something dog motif something something being truly loved by someone that they’ll kill me if I asked because I want it to be them. Someone who will hold me as I bleed and fade away in their arms under the moonlit snow and stars. Someone who will let me go even if it kills them, but hold me in their arms as I do.

⬆️actual text messages I sent to one of my friends

straight people: I love boys so muchhhhh I love kissing boys they are so pretty!! I want to hug him and I want to dance in his arms on a nice spring day in the meadows!!

gay people: I want to bleed out in his arms while he cradles me tight, close to his chest, his heartbeat a song that fills my chest as my own heartbeat slows and fades. I want him to be the last thing I ever see, I want the life to spill from me slowly in the sparkling quiet night, into the hands of someone who loves me truly, the hands of someone who loves me enough to let me go even though it will kill him, will let me go because I wanted it to be him, because I will and always have chosen him, even if it’s the last thing I do. I want my life to stain the snow and frozen ground around us, color blooming into the blank winter forest for the first time in a long time, so that one day in the coming spring when life blooms anew my blood may bloom through the new shoots and buds and I may live on through them. I want to see the stars fade and blur around my beloved’s face, reach my bloodied paws up to his tear stained cheek and cradle it close, so warm as my life fades into the snow around us, as I grow colder in his embrace. To look in his eyes one last time, see the stars as they were when we met, when I was born, and again as I die.

Anyways here’s the song btw if you want to experience what it’s like to die bleeding out in your lovers arms as their dogboy/werewolf boyfriend or whatever. Idk. Shuffles away and hits my head on a tree branch on the way out.