#i wrote it in the back of my notebook
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just cleaned my room and found fanfiction i wrote when i was 13

#ron weasly x reader shit#i was so obsessed with him holy#he was the one before nicholas#and i was so fucking stupid#i wrote it in the back of my notebook#and#instead of 'yn' i wrote my FUCKING NAME EVERYWHEREE#ira#i was so delusional#but damn i lowkey cooked with the writing#i am NOT back btw#just wanted to share this w someone so..#bye bye !
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writing fanfiction on paper is so fucking therapeutic
#my first ever fanfic was brutasha and i carefully wrote all 10k words on paper with a fountain pen#so it always feels like going back to my roots#it's the best method to get me writing again when i feel blocked#especially when starting new chapters#like#an empty document on my macbook scares me so much more than an empty page in my notebook#writing#amy talks#fanfiction author#fanfiction#ao3#ao3 author#writing things#writing struggles#first light
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so i got the am archive notebooks in the mail today
and what i have to say is just
FUCK
#the bright sessions#cienna talks#I CAUGHT MY LIVE REACTION TO THE END OF THE AGENT GREEN NOTEBOOKS ON CAMERA#AND I WATCHED IT BACK WITH NO MEMORY OF HOW I RESPONDED CUZ I JUST FELT MY HEART DROP OUT OF MY CHEST#for the record my response was a gasp then hyperventilating then yelling fuck#i was in my car in the pouring rain too so the atmosphere was chefs kiss for the reveal#also the letter to mark... the note to joan with DEAREST crossed out... ISTG.#dr. sharpe saying that she hopes no one ever suffers like Alex Chen again...#well worth the money for the shock value alone. the fucking red ink. i am suing for emotional damages.#i know i am like 4 years too late to this party and i did listen to AMA back when it was released to the public but#rip agent green you would have loved. idk. being alive ig#i wrote the first verse and chorus to a brightgreen fan song (I DONT EVEN SHIP THEM IM A JACKSON/JOAN STAN WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME)#oughhhhhh#the am archives
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face it, tiger.
(or, a spider-robin story - a spin on the "upside down" ronancetober prompt)
“No, I mean who are you. Under the mask.” Robin perches on the ledge of the balcony of Nancy’s apartment, putting a good distance between them. “That’s for me to know, and for you to never find out.” Nancy’s frown deepens into a scowl. Sirens sound in the distance—perfect timing. “Well,” Robin stands. “That’s my cue. See ya around, princess.” It rolls off her tongue with ease now, and she figures that she might as well double down. She gives Nancy a two fingered salute, before swinging from the balcony and towards the sirens. “This isn’t over!” yells Nancy. Robin smiles to herself. This is going to be fun.
#ronance#stranger things#robin buckley#nancy wheeler#ronancetober#ronancetober 2023#a little spin on the prompt :3 hehe#also it's not proofread and im not going back to proofread it. i wrote this in a fervor with me and my notebook#it was like i was possessed. im not looking back through that.#anyways. i am going to bed. hope u all enjoy reading!#if you recognize this moodboard shhhhhhhhhhhh#i totally did not reuse my old spidey robin one….(lie)#my writing#my moodboards
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Imagine being with your f/o at a fireworks show and watching them together! 🎆🎇
You’re sitting together and you lean against them as a contented sigh escapes your lips. Despite the slight anxiety brought on by the din of the fireworks, you find yourself enamored by the beautiful colors and shapes. Everything is made all the more sweet having them with you, so you can’t help but wear a blissful smile.
If it weren’t so dark out, perhaps you would see the matching smile they were wearing, too.
While keeping your eyes locked on the fireworks, you feel out the darkness to find their hand. The second you find it, your fingers begin to intertwine like it’s second nature. You let out an exhale, your head leaning against their shoulder as the blues, reds, and greens continue to burst and swirl in the sky.
#f/o imagines#self ship#self shipping#self ship community#self shipping community#f/o community#selfship#selfshipping#eve’s imagines#i NEED to get this out of my drafts lol#also fun fact I initially wrote this scenario out in a notebook and then just kinda. forgot about it.#until recently when I was going back through all my journals/notebooks and then was like. huh. the selfshippers will like this one. lol
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Party (group) party (celebratory)! (Patreon)
#Doodles#Pokemon#Gyrados#Ninetales#Sableye#Ampharos#Banette#Politoed#Pikachu#The lot! Mostly my SoulSilver guys but a kind of general mishmash of nostalgia and aiming-fors#Even tho I played Yellow when I was quite a bit younger I never beat it or got particularly attached to my 'mon and ended up selling it#Mistake I know blame the folly of youth lol#So I really consider Soul Silver as my ''first'' game - though I beat X before SS pfft just can't make it simple eh!#But I got veryyy attached to my SSteam <3 It's fun to watch them grow in the photo album! Can see most of them as babies :D#I ended up with a Vulpix named Beauty since Ninetales is my favourite Pokemon <3 I knew she'd grow into a beauty! Thusly named#And a Magikarp that I thought would be ironically funny to name Beast because well - y'know lol#Did not even occur to me Once that they'd be Beauty and Beast haha - the reasoning is so strongly connected it just didn't register!#They're a fun duo :) Fire and Water Fish and Fox hehe <3 Cute lads!#Group of four was speculations about building a really ideal team for me - Mareep Line Obviously and Ninetales goes without saying#Sableye is another really obvious one lol I love Sableye so muuuuchhhh aghhh <3 <3#Banette wouldn't exactly fill in many gaps but I've always leaned more towards Ghost and Psychic types#The Politoed doodles were just for funsies tho lol I really can't decide on a Water type I like that I haven't already exhausted!#They're silly little frog guys which I do enjoy haha#Probably not my personal pick but I like them :)#The aforementioned Yellow playthrough had me with a Pikachu I named Sparks which I then wrote fanfic about haha#Baby's first fanfic and fanart were both Pokemon! I have no idea where it'd be now as it was in a notebook but I remember the gist at least#Thought it'd be nice to bring him back to visit <3#And then some silly ones for myself lol what's a good trainer pose!#I think they're all silly lol but I do like the middle one :D#I'd love a Pokeball shirt like that! All the Pokemon things pls and thank you!
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im a bit too embarrassed to post these on my ig story for some reason, so ill post it here for now;;
#bkdgart#toji#sukuna#tjkn#runaway tjkn au#tojikuna#when i wrote the blurbs for the au i was playing around with their ages but i still have no clue how old theyd be#cus i wanted toji to be younger than 16 for max angst (cant legally do shit for megs or himself)#hes also younger than sukuna who has choso and yuuji as brothers#choso is tojis age whatever that is#yuuji is megs age. originally he was gonna be 5 but i might bump them up to 7??? idfk#Sukuna's like 2+ yrs older than toji and works at a small froed food stall wasuke owns on the pier#he also has a main restaurant but he has actual employees there. suks has worked at the poer location for like 5 yrs or smth#kuna p much raises cho n yuuji cus gramps is sick n stubborn. yk the usual.#im thinking of making stsg regukars at sukunas stall maybe?? and toji keeps FAR away from them bc hes p sure he recognizes gojo from#a family get together. Toji has Issues ofc bc im an asshole that puts my blorbos through hell. he took megs n ran from the zenins abuse#was planning on leaving by himself but he rly couldnt do that to megs. megs wasnt treated like shit#but toji was afraid they would after he left. megumi was kinda just neglected for the most part. so toji took him and is tryna wait out#the system so he can work without the zenins coming after him/them.#he meets newbie cop shiu a few days in and thats how he finds out about the boardwalk n he fixes up a lil spot with driftwood n other shit#hes doing his best not to steal shit and sukuna who works at the pier and is bored out of his fucking mind notices the pair disappear under#the boardwalk every day. recognizes the bags they carry as some hed thrown out n hes like hm. he starts leaving more stuff in the dumpsters#blankets n notebooks n stuff. he hopes they find em. no sign of it. one day they're late enough coming back that he's just finished closing#shop when they're headed back so sukuna approaches them. AND THE REST IS HISTORY LOL nah the rest is in my docs n stewing for when i edit it#phew
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here's the thing. yes, some pieces of art are "better" than others. there are many criteria you can measure that with--technical skill, creativity, clarity, conceptual depth, successful execution of the artist's intentions, etc., and i do think it's useful to clarify which ones you're using as a measuring stick. but like, of course you can evaluate art. of course you can be critical (in the "art critic" sense) of art. (among other things, that's one of the most important ways to get better at making art yourself.)
however. when it comes down to evaluating what gets to count as art. what art even gets to have a seat at the table. i will go to bat for the thing that isn't as "good" every single time.
you can say you think a piece of art is bad. you can say you think it lacked technical skill, or clarity, or conceptual depth, and you consider those important elements of a successful work. i might even agree with you. but if you think that means it doesn't matter, someone is going to die on this hill and it isn't going to be me
#this is not apropos of anything#or like directed at anyone in particular#just to be clear#i just had a Thought that triggered something in my art student brain and made this click#because i am being trained how to critique and evaluate art. i know how to objectively and subjectively judge whether something is 'good'#('good' in scare quotes bc that is such a vague metric. i tend to use 'successful' more often)#but the second someone calls something 'bad art' or 'not even art' i will be ready to back it up instantly#and i realized that it boils down to acting like something doesn't matter because it has failed to meet a certain standard#i think all art matters. i think that doodle of a cat you drew in the corner of your math notebook matters#i think that poem you wrote when you were in second grade matters#i think that song you made up and recorded on a voice memo and then cringed when you listened to it later matters#i also think those abstract expressionist artists that everyone loves to hate on matter btw#their art doesn't speak to me that strongly but that doesn't mean it didn't have anything to say#everyone has something to say. and you can have opinions about what they said or how they said it#but you don't get to tell them to stop talking#that includes when that someone is yourself btw#anyway#this has been my monthly-or-so evening ramble#i've been overdue for one honestly#stars has thoughts
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Wow this sucks
#I’m literally gonna cry wtf#I’ve been trying to get back into writing so I was going through some old journals and reading the poems I wrote back in 2015#and I left my favorite pages sitting on top of my notebook on my bed and my family’s dog came in while I wasn’t looking and destroyed it all#like they’re completely gone#some of the few pieces of writing from my teenage years that I’m actually proud of and wanted to revisit and it’s completely destroyed#I’ve found 2 scraps and they’ve got about 4 words in total#this was multiple pages full of writing#this is so discouraging I don’t even want to write anything now#like I started taking an online poetry workshop last week trying to push myself out of my comfort zone and maybe possibly move in the#direction of trying to get some of my poems put out there#and I’ve been in a huge writing slump for the last like year#and I was hoping this might get me out of it but now I don’t have any motivation to do it#I just wanna cry#I can’t go back to being a teenager again I can’t rewrite the way I felt back then#and now it’s really gone forever#I’m so sick and im working 3 jobs and I just want to be creative again but I’m tired#and I’m about to get hit by this giant hurricane#I’m really overwhelmed I think this was just the straw that broke the camels back#brb gonna go cry myself to sleep over lost poetry#sorry this is me venting feel free to ignore this#vent post#will probably delete after I’ve gotten more than 5 hours of uninterrupted sleep
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Hi! :3 Did you ever post the military fic? I remember you talking about one a while ago. It's completely ruined me I can’t go long without imagining Lud in the military
it’s something that began to transform time and time again in my head and it’s something that i intend on turning into its own project one of these days, probably a standalone comic or a novella. i’m still super attached to it in concept though!! it’ll see the light again eventually 🙂↕️
#i had a schizo episode a couple months ago and wrote a third of a fic where lud was drafted into the vietnam war#but it was all written physically in my notebook at work and i just never copied it down digitally#if jIud comes back then i probably will#bunnyaskz
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Going through my old art and I found this gem.
#monster high#monster high oc#spectra vondergeist#id in alt#i spelled vondergeist wrong...#i remember thinking that “caskette” was such a brilliant name for a monster high character back then#i made her to be best friends with my oc who was named clawdia back in the day (renamed pawleen recently)#i also found the very bad fanfic i wrote#i kinda wanna redraw/redesign her#this notebook paper looks so gross but its also managed to survive like...12 years?
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the way you act toward potential crushes is so 😭 ME TOO LMAO for me he let me borrow his book for as long as I want (still have it, it’s been 6 months), I said “so as long as we’re both alive? I might give it to you on your deathbed lolll” and he said “sure. I trust you”. Haha that shouldn’t mean anything but I’m gonna jump off a cliff 😘🥰
😭🤝
#mine also loves books but i never borrowed anything from her her taste kinda sucks💀#i gave her a notebook before she left and wrote her a little note in the back and she does not let me live it down#“this would be so romantic i want my future bf to do that” shotgun in my mouth now please🙂#inbox
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the urge to start writing fanfiction but i have never written a piece of fanfiction ever and haven't written creatively outside of school projects in years 😭😭😭😭
#this is one of the most painful things my mental illness took from me actually#i used to be writing ALL THE TIME#i wrote on wattpad (not fanfic)#i wrote in google docs#i wrote in notebooks#i wrote on anything i could get my creative little hands on#and i was GOOD at it!!!#i went to a young author's conference three years in a row!#and then i got fucked over by my own brain and lost my spark and ability to do anything without approval from others#i hate it and i wanna find my way back#maybe. just maybe. i should talk abt this with my therapist instead of posting abt it on tumblr#(i won't)#i wish it was earlier in november cuz then i could force myself to participate in nanowrimo#someone kick me in the ass and make me write
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love finding things in my room i should probably get rid of
#its a ceramic box my ex friend made me for my birthday back in 2017#i should probably like get rid of it or donate it or something but i can’t bring myself to#not to mention it wasn’t this girl that was the problem it was her sister really#i think its because they made it for me#its also like…. underneath she wrote ‘to ava love (redacted) 2017’ and i just know some tiktoker will turn it into a tragic op shop find#her sister made me a ceramic heart that year and i have definitely hidden it#i think its because this box is practical#on another sentimental note its always interesting looking through my graduation notebook and seeing what people wrote#like one of my friends wrote ‘im gonna miss you’ and i saw her this morning#lol#i can walk around to her house in five minutes
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i dont want to make the phone call nor send the message 😣 might as well do both at tbe same time tho to only have to deal with the anxiety once
#i need to call the nurse to remind him to bring the internship notebook tomorrow. i could not call him but he is quite forgetful and i dont#want to go all the way to the hospital for him to not have brought it#and i need to text girlie again to see if she is actually interested in doing any work for the thesis#my sister wrote me a text for me to send her which is giving σπυρο μου εμεις σε ευχαριστούμε (ορθια)#γιατι μας εδωσες την ευκαιρία να αποδειξουμε για ακομη μια φορα την αξια μας (μπηχτή)#so yeah#gonna go make the call and then send the text and then back to studying#jo says stuff#personal ramblings
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literally need my emotional support paper
#need my notebook so bad im gonna EXPLODE#i have a different notebook in front of me but its. not the same. i had dstuff written in the other one#i jsut cant rememebrt ahts why i wrote it down#wish i had super ultra crazy good memory so i could just store everything in my brain#i feel like when ur trying tobuild a lego set but u lost like. 2/3rds of the set#im fine though ill be good in like. 30 minutes. i probably wont even go get it tomorrw ill worry abt it the next day#i dont even need it im find im find imfineimfine#affirmations#when i get my notebook back im gonna b so happy im gonna click my heels together
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