#i would've gone insane for those posts i just know it

[spinnysocks]

old lion guard rp blogs my beloved

[tea-cat-arts]

The traveler will be like "wah, I don't wanna do work! I don't wanna keep helping all these random people and getting into trouble! I've done enough" and then dig their heels in and refuse to even explore the easiest option

[screamting]

what r ur thoughts on reconciliation between jason and bruce. is it really possible? what would it take? what would it look like? seen some stuff on my dash lately about that particularly thorny issue and would love to get your perspective. (hopefully this is the kind of ask ur looking for)

(you are FINE this is going to be the bane of my fandom career) 

So realistically we're not going to see Jason reconcile with Bruce because a) everybody loves angst b) no one is talking about the ISSUE. 

The ISSUE is not the murder thing. Like. The murder thing doesn't help but it isn't the root; killing people is something Jason decided to start doing because it was something Bruce is extremely firm on. He stands by the 'no murder' thing even when his own life and the lives of others are in danger. He stands SO firmly by it, that if you break that rule maybe you can break the entire foundation of Batman, which is that things are never so far gone they can't be redeemed. Gotham is never so far gone it isn't worth trying to repair. We are not cutting the rot away we are building an environment which no longer collapses into rot around us, even if it is gross, demeaning, dangerous work. 

If Bruce killed the Joker in Under the Red Hood I think Jason would have been lost forever. Because it would've been proof that Bruce's most fervent beliefs meant nothing. If Bruce's hardest promise, that he would not kill, was broken so easily, then what does that mean about all his other promises? All the promises that he loved Jason and would never send him away? If his hardest promise can be broken, do those easy promises even stand a chance? 

I think the issue is and always will be: Did you love me? Do you love me still? 

All those posts about coming back wrong and unlovable, and what if I was unlovable the whole time and it was just that I can't even be bothered to pretend anymore? That's Jason Todd. He crawled his way out of his own grave an open wound and he is trying to convince himself that he's doing fine while actively bleeding. I feel insane reading some of the discourse because it's talking about Jason from the pov of his disenfranchisement and that as driving him in Red Hood and like. No! Jason is disenfranchised, he was failed by the systems, absolutely; I do not fucking believe he is doing any of this for people like him. He is saying things that validate his pain because he cannot deal with the enormous amount of pain he is in. He died and came back to life. He did it in a way people don't know or understand, or via Lazarus pit, which people condemn. I think to resolve things they'd need a god damn religious discussion to even start with, to ask Jason if he thinks anything that has died and come back to life can ever be good, or if it's just him. 

I think he must have had self-loathing and insecurity built up before his death and it Exploded when he came back to life several years later and saw from the out side people attempting to move on. This is not a victim blame because of course he had self-loathing and insecurity, he was a kid with a difficult childhood and you need at least five years to a decade to start feeling like someone else, who maybe has confidence and certainty. I think being Robin let him borrow confidence, and so like, probably did feel great! He had a script and a role to fill and he was given a lot of practice to do it!

I think part of the problem is that post-resurrection is Jason has to figure out who he is for the first time again, even older now. He lost some of his teen years in figuring things out. He has the life experiences of a 14 year old and then training under assassins and then like. Drug lord?? For a bit?? 

Jason is not fighting for the disenfranchised. He is trying to figure out who the hell he is and is bouncing around so many teams and timelines and shit that all already know him and know him as the dead kid that I think for him and Bruce to make up, like. He probably needs to have a job?

Not for money necessarily, because like. The Wayne fortune is right there. But I think he needs to go somewhere, with a schedule, for like at least six months in a row, and have something low stakes dependent on him. Like a dog or something. Maybe get involved in local theater. Take the dog to dog training twice a week and teach small children acting in the afternoons. 

And once a week or whenever they feel like it Bruce and Jason can have a phone call, and Jason can bring up what's happening at the theater and how the dog is, and Bruce can talk about Wayne Corp shit. 

And if Jason learns from dog time about someone who is mistreating an animal or a partner then like maybe he goes and steals a dog or tells someone to come stay over at his house for a while and gives them some cash. And after he does something rash he still needs to come back to his apartment and feed the dog and show up to the theater the next day. 

I think he needs to see the world around him when it ISN'T homelessness and assassins guilds and running out into the streets at night looking for trouble. 

'but you haven't addressed anything for bruce to do' for Bruce to have to do anything we first need to get jason at the table. 'bruce beat jason in x comic/brainwashed him into an overactive fear response/almost certainly also something else' 

1. i'm choosing to say besides the throat thing that people hate (bc I get that. Bruce needs to say 'yes I was panicking and my writer was being dramatic I'm sorry' ) bruce doesn't beat his kids or any rogues in general once they're at a point they're no longer trying to kill/hurt anyone either. 

2. tbh I think the anxiety brainwashing is facinating and definitely something Bruce might have thought about but making it and using it is fully in 'I was also having a 3 day long mental breakdown' territory. However since Jason put a lot of heads in a duffle bag during HIS mental breakdown I think this might again be within 'yeah that was fucked up I'm sorry about that' territory.

Honestly I wish that Jason had gone to Bruce after the Selina 'making thieves pay 15% to charity' thing and they had just had the BIGGEST bitching fest about it with each other.  I think that, faster than literally any amount of relaxation and therapy, would have gotten them back on the same side. They need to get in a room together and just. Bitch about it. Jason saw the WORST adaptation the other day. Bruce is dealing with the MOST stuck up prick at the board meeting. 

Before they can fix anything they need to remember why they even loved each other. If they feel it again maybe they'll work to save it. But no one is going to fix a relationship where it feels like an obligation for a feeling you aren't sure even exists anymore.

[imrllytootiredforthis]

sub yandere lix is the best type of yan because he's so unexpected, wdym the sweet boy from next door you've known since childhood is actually an obsessed masochist who lives for hair pulling and rough fucking, who doesn't wanna be called sweet names like angel and honey but slut and whore while being fucked by you. I mean the boys so sweet you could've been convinced his blood is honey, so who would've thought you'd walk into the scene you walked into now with Felix on your bed humping your pillow and roughly gripping his perfect strands while moaning out your name assuming you weren't there, which you find hot of course to walk into, but how did he get into your house?

he's literally the best subby yandere, he's like my favourite bc of how sweet and adorable he is too

like baby is just so obsessed and in love with you for as long as he can remember. he doesn't know what to do with himself anymore.

every time he watches a romance movie it's you he's thinking of, a book? you. mommy dommy porn? you.

before you're together he'll probably listen to those asmrs like 'mommy taking care of babyboy' or something. in the beginning he'd taken recordings of your voice in secret that he'd get off to (the meaner the better aka him starting random fights so he can record you yelling at him) before he'd realized that he'd needed something more. he desperately scoured the internet for someone who sounded like you, willing to pay an ungodly amount of money once he did find someone who did. he listens to you but not you every night, hand dipped below his waistband playing with himself, eyes squeezed shut, trying to imagine that it really is you touching him and talking to him.

he'd probably even find the va of the person that sounded like you as well and message them privately, asking them to make different scenarios, rougher things, punishments and degrading terms thrown in. he was always very polite though and paid them a lot for it and they probably appreciated the business.

it's hard and it's not nearly good enough because deep down he knows it's not you. not really.

he knows that and he can never forget that. but sometimes when he falls deep enough into his head, when time and space and pleasure and pain and every little thing melts together and nothing feels real anymore. when he feels like he's actually maybe going insane with want and desire and the desperate feral need to be yours, he can forget for only an instant that he's not.

of course the fantasy only lasts for so long and the post nut clarity/subspace would hit him hard. feeling so guilty and needy, he definitely cries during most of these, just wanting to feel close to you but of course you're not there.

it was one of these times where he goes to your house, but you're not there, not there when he needs you the most.

so he curls up in your bed, wrapping himself in your blanket, your scent surrounding and clouding his mind like a drug, with him taking it in like an addict.

he can't even help himself-not that he really wants to-his body moving on automatic and before he can even catch himself his pants are gone and your pillow is between his legs. the imaginary tone of your voice feeling all too real as he whines, working against the soft fabric almost violently, it's okay though because you still have two more on your bed.

his face up, moans free to roam because he knows that you'd like him more like that, you'd tell him not to hide his pretty noises that you love them too much. you'd love him. you love him.

his neck feels heavy and his eyes squeeze shut, his hands clawing through his hair for some reprieve, for a single strand of sanity in this madness.

and then you're there. standing over him. looking dark and mean and lustful.

he doesn't know if you're real or not, if his insanity desire has reached a peak and something inside of him has finally broke.

but you touch him and talk to him and you feel so, so, so real.

"such a pretty slut~ all pretty strewn out for me~"

tears stream down his face. his thighs burn and his cock throbs.

"a-all for you-only fo-for you, ha~"

and he decides, he doesn't care if it's real or not. it's you and it's always enough if it's you.

[ddollfface]

is it possible for you to expand on the alphabet ‘H’ for yandere!athlete? I’m just curious to see the full extent of his punishment when he ‘snaps’. You don’t have to. This is my first ask so I’m just curious

— 🐏 anon

𝐀 𝐋𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐔𝐧𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐝

𝗟𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗦𝗶𝗰𝗸!𝗔𝘁𝗵𝗹𝗲𝘁𝗲 𝘅 𝗳𝗲𝗺!𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿

"I'm not feeling myself today, so it's alright if I feel you instead?"

Trigger Warnings; bad writing, lovesick behavior, manipulation, toxic relationship, love bombing, reader is called 'girlfriend', fake emotional cheating (it'll make more sense later), um I think that's it, pretty tame ngl, honestly it's shorter than my usual posts sorry(( If I missed anything, then please let me know ♡ You are now 🐏!Nonny! Congratulations, you now have your own tag! I hope this is up to your standards... I kind of went on a tiny, just a tiny tangent, but what's new lol

Okay, ngl, I've been waiting for someone to ask about this, so thank you 🐏!Nonny for asking)))

Now, to the question. I would like to preface that it would be very, very, very difficult to make LoveSick!Athlete 'snap', seeing as he's a very patient person, especially with those he's close to. Growing up, he had to be patient and easygoing. He was the oldest of his siblings, so he had to be responsible; had to step up as a father figure for his younger siblings, as he never had a real dad.

He's very soft with you, always speaking kindly, and never letting his anger or annoyance get a hold of him. He wants to be the best for you, truly, but there are just some things that make people... y'know snap. Even for people like LoveSick!Athlete, who has the patience of a saint.

So, now that we know this, we have to think of a scenario of when and why you'd ever push LoveSick!Athlete over the edge; what would've you said to make him that angry?

It'd probably be something along the lines of questioning either his loyalty to you, or the caliber of his love for you, and how much he provides for you. You'd have to take away his purpose and smush it; dragging it through the mud, and spit on it. Now, that would get him going. There's one thing that LoveSick!Athlete hates, and that's someone who's ungrateful.

He's done so, so, so much for you, can't you see?

It would've started from an argument, likely you bringing up how he seems too receptive to other girls on campus, too willing with their antics. And that just didn't sit right with you. You didn't like your boyfriend, in this scenario, hanging around with girls, who you thought to be very, very, very pretty.

Of course, LoveSick!Athlete thought this to be insane, something he hadn't even thought about. Ever since the two of you started dating, he hasn't even looked at a girl, let alone thought about sleeping with one. How could you even say that?

In this scenario, I can see LoveSick!Athlete being petty and becoming flirtatious with other girls just to show you that his behavior before was nothing. If you thought that was flirtatious, then wait until you see him now. Instead of pushing the girls to the side, excusing himself before they could corner him, now he's looking the girls up and down, giving them a little smirk, leading them on. He might even set a hand on their lower back, leading them through the party, maybe even kiss her on the cheek, if you've been rather ungrateful.

Now, LoveSick!Athlete isn't enjoying this, after all, you're his one and only, but you have to learn your lesson. You have to understand that he's been so kind to you, so appreciative of your relationship. Don't you understand? He doesn't like doing this; it's a punishment.

You, seeing all of this, would obviously be distraught. You'd feel so, so, so betrayed. Where had your sweet, loving boyfriend gone? Why was he replaced by some sleazy womanizer? You'd be both sad and pissed the fuck off. You wanted him to tone it down, not multiply it by one hundred!

No matter what, even if you're angry as hell, you'll end up in LoveSick!Athlete's arms, hugging him tightly. He'll find a way to sweet talk you back to him, telling you that you're his only one, that he's just showing you that it wasn't that bad. He'll explain his public image to you; he's gotta stay on top of it, surely you understand, babe? I have no interest in those girls. They're just thinking with what's between their legs. You have to trust me.

Now, that's if you question his loyalty to you, but if you question how much he loves you (which is kinda of related to loyalty, but just ignore that), then you'll face a different type of manipulation. Mans got a whole tool belt on him (I've been waiting to say that lol).

Questioning how much he values you, your affections, your words, and your presence, will lead to love bombing. And for those who don't know what love bombing is, it's a manipulation tactic where the manipulator will use excessive affection to make their victim depend on them for love, believing that they'll only be valued by the manipulator.

LoveSick!Athlete is very familiar with this form of love since he grew up with a mama who has bipolar disorder-

(To be clear, I don't mean to say that everyone with bipolar disorder is a mass manipulator or anything. In certain people, especially mamas who are juggling an abusive marriage, two children, and postpartum all at once, it can be a lot and lead to bad behaviors. Just wanted to say that as someone who deals with a mama with bipolar disorder)

-Now, as a young adult, he's grown the habit of absentmindedly using manipulation tactics to get what he wants. It'll all start with a small argument, you'll question his lover for you, if he even cares for you. After all, he seems to be more attentive over his image than you, his girlfriend!

And all LoveSick!Athlete will do is smile at you, saying that he understands your concerns and that he'll do better. Obviously, this will confuse the hell out of you. Who responds to an argument like that? Certainly, no man you've ever dated!

Even if he doesn't realize it, he'll begin to show excessive amounts of affection after the argument. He'll constantly be giving you hugs, clinging onto you like a leach, and spamming you with messages/calls. You'll grow accustomed to the overbearing affections, allowing it to become a part of your daily life, but the moment you're used to it, he'll rip it away.

Suddenly, it's as if you don't even exist, like you're just another girl to him. Of course, he'll acknowledge you as his girlfriend, but he's no longer touching you. He's not hugging you, having an arm wrapped around you waist, nor is he holding your hand in public. It's as if he's embarrassed about your relationship. You'll begin to think that LoveSick!Athlete is cheating on you (he's not).

And this sudden behavior change is so delayed that you won't even relate it to your argument, thinking that it was a whole separate issue. And LoveSick!Athlete won't realize it either; it's just subconcious decision he made without knowing.

At some point, you'll come crawling back to him, desperately wanting the affection you used to be overwhelmed by. Of course, LoveSick!Athlete will be overjoyed, welcoming your upfront behavior with open arms. To you, this is like whiplash. Just a few days ago, he was off-putting, giving you the cold shoulder, and now he's leaning on you as if he can't stand himself, what the hell is going on?

And that's when you realize that you're not dating the most... stable individual...

Not to mention what he let his teammates do to you... but that's for another ask, yeah?

[thesoftboiledegg]

"Mort: Ragnarick" was pure fun, but a different kind of fun than "Rickfending Your Mort" and "Rise of the Numbericons: The Movie."

"Rickfending Your Mort" was a laid-back clip show that gave the viewer a break after the insanity of "Unmortricken"--a smart decision but not one with a lot of substance. "Rise of the Numbericons: The Movie" has been controversial. I thought it was entertaining, but it would've worked better as a YouTube short.

If "Unmortricken" represented lore episodes at their best, "Mort: Ragnarick" was the best of classic Rick and Morty adventures: a wildly imaginative plot, goofy satire, fantasy science and Rick and Morty working together as a duo, reminding us how much they need each other.

Rick's the driving force behind these adventures, but without Morty, he's just a miserable old man trying to distract himself. Morty's the heart and voice of reason. He also gives Rick something to live for. Without him, Beth, Jerry or Summer, why do anything?

Rick pretends to live for science, but "science" just caused decades of grief and isolation. His family isn't a concept; it's an entity that loves him back.

Bigfoot, an evil pope, Pokeballs, Valhalla, clone bodies, infinite energy sources, zombie Summer, Rick screaming "PO-O-O-O-OPE!": only Rick and Morty could combine all those concepts into one cohesive episode. I never thought "Wow, that took me out of the story." The Pokeball came close, but the end credits scene tied it all together.

Jerry's scene was a standout, too. Chris Parnell's reading of "Nana!" was genuinely sweet. It seems like Jerry's becoming a (mostly) willing participant in Rick's schemes instead of a helpless guinea pig. Is Rick learning that releasing his iron grip on his family makes them more attached to him, not less?

I also loved it when the Vikings called Rick a witch. He loves crystals, plays with magic, has two crows as familiars: damn right, he is!

You have to suspend your disbelief a couple of times, mainly when Bigfoot attacks Rick in the kitchen (he crushed Rick earlier like it was nothing, but now Rick walks away with a few scratches?) Still, the little character moments overshadow these flaws.

Judging by old posts that I've seen floating around, I think Rick and Morty's relationship is finally becoming what fans wanted it to be in seasons 1-3. Rick's still mean, but he's less dominant and more of Morty's mischievous co-conspirator. An alien mobster freaking out in "The Jerrick Trap" because of Rick's "touch my grandson and die" policy is straight out of fanon.

Rick's more physically gentle, and Morty responds in kind. He grabs and supports him when Bigfoot attacks him at home and touches his arm during their weird, overdramatic Bigfoot send-off. His pained cry of "Rick!" when Bigfoot nearly crushes him is heart-wrenching. Operation Phoenix is back online, but Morty's tired of watching him die!

Season five is when Rick started showing emotions on his face besides that cold, pissed-off glare--we all know the one--and in season seven, it's accelerated to Rick crying in front of others. He matches Morty's feelings instead of pretending that he's above human emotions.

Needless to say, dudebros have been flooding Adult Swim's Instagram comments and Twitter replies with "Rick and Morty is shit now!" "Rick's too nice!" "Rick and Morty has gone woke!" Justin Roiland's firing gave them more fuel, but they started even while he was still on the payroll.

Their favorite line is "Rick isn't Rick anymore!" And they're right. Rick's not the asshole from seasons 1-2 who had a couple of redeeming qualities. He's not the monster that he was in season three and parts of season four. He's not the defeated man in season five who started to realize that he's hurting people but still wanted Morty to look after him like a child.

Season six is when he started to grow up--not a lot, but enough that he began taking on adult responsibilities instead of thinking he's a teenage boy who sees another teenager as his peer. I wish we saw more therapy appointments, but while they're mostly off-screen, we're definitely seeing the effects.

This doesn't make Rick a great person or atone for what he's done. Some of his crimes are beyond atonement, and not just the obvious ones like blowing up planets. This is a universe where everyone has a body count and events that should've destroyed Earth have no effect on civilization. Death and destruction don't mean that much.

His worst crimes are the personal ones: destroying Morty's psyche in "The Vat of Acid Episode," treating his family like garbage for most of season three. You can't atone for that. You can't apologize for that.

However, I don't only judge characters by their past. I judge them by their capacity to change.

Walter White is a brilliant character, but he's not a personal favorite because his arc is a slow descent into hell. Rick's slowly climbing out of his crater, and while it doesn't erase the past, it's still happening. For me, that's more satisfying than watching a monster become a bigger monster.

Of course, he's still not above cosplaying as Odin while wearing a golden crown that literally says "GOD." But the former "no girls allowed" alpha male has become a dedicated therapy patient who's also a thirst object that would make bros cry about double standards. Sure, Rick, you're a god, now put on that weird half-shirt and prance around a little.

[ssasides205]

had a realization that's making me insane but we as a fandom weren't angry enough abt sunshades

also, this is entirely related, so I'm dragging them here too, but the voltron fandom was not angry enough abt Shiro's sudden gayness

now, the similarities are these:

both were retconed gay during the second half of their series

both were given their "endgame" romantic interest at the very end of their series (yes I know TOA exists now, but it came out in 2016, 2 years after BOO)

both fandoms became really weird abt those who dared to have shipped the character with a girl (Nico was canonically gay for longer than Shiro was in their respective media, so it's very rare to see those old ships, but they exist all the same)

both fandoms were all too happy to start extreme shipping them with their last minute love interest (the voltron fandom latched to Adam so hard it makes the sunshades seem tame, Curtis way less so)

the differences:

the voltron fandom should've been angry bc Shiro hadn't had any buildup as a gay character (whatever shippers saw notwithstanding), the problem being that if the show had gone with it's original Shallura plans (I saw this in like a commentary on how the show got made), they would've had to make someone else queer (for bait reasons), and they couldn't make hunk queer cause they did the whole thign with Shay, and Pidge was the youngest so like,,, they couldn't make keith queer cause he's the only "white" character and therefore has to be the token straight protag, and if they made Lance queer without makign klance happen I think something would've exploded.

so last minute gay shiro, burry your gays trope included! but oh, don't worry, he gets married to this random two seconds background character in the end!!

the PJO fandom, on the other hand, went through more than half of HOO watching Nico and Jason be like thatTM and then just, acepted will? the same ppl who tell you valdangelo wouldn't happen cause they had only one interaction? those ppl??

what, they just took the 1.5 bit at the VERY END of BOO and ran with it? I know lack of representation was a lot worse back then, but if that thing came out now I don't trust y'all to call it out like you should

like, I remember spending that whole scene being like "who the fuck's this guy" cause I didn't register background characters unless they were plot relevant, and nothing about that scene was all that romantic either

it makes me so angry, and when they announced the show I hoped they'd make it as close to the books as possible bc then maybe more ppl would see it two, but apparently Riordan added to the first series post-fact? and the tv series is already making changes?? and they'll probably work sunshades into it earlier bc of TSATS but gods, even if they don't it might still not happen, bc y'all just settle for scraps.

anyway, sorry for the rant, I jsut wanted to get it off my chest, and sorry if I offended y'all, I just think you deserved better.

[lover-of-mine]

I have realized what is making my head explode when a BT post accidentally goes through my tags!!!! They are completely ignoring Buck is bi. They are acting like my aunt in the early 2000s. I may not have been fond of all the LUs but they were valid relationships. If Taylor had not fucked up who knows where that relationship would have gone. I mean clearly nowhere once Eddie was out because once Eddie broke up with him he spiraled and kissed Lucy. But they are still valid relationships and at this point in time I don't see how Tommy is better than any of them. To be honest he has the worst traits of Abby and Taylor but the screen time of Ally. So frustrating.

Well, when have people ever been normal about bisexuality? But here's the thing, every relationship Buck had so far had his own set of issues that somehow have been reduced to the way he was dating women, which is fucked in so many ways and the amount of times I have to stop myself from picking a fight because of bucktaylor it's actually hysterical to me because we're seriously at a point where I need to defend the validity of Taylor's place in Buck's life. Like, how did we get here? Because here's the thing, do I think Buck and Taylor were meant to be? No. Do I think Buck would've clung to her until he literally couldn't anymore if her actions hadn't hurt his family? Absolutely. I see Buck going as far as panic proposing to her if that particular situation hadn't happened, just to have someone. Because they had chemistry and Buck kept trying to force that to become love. Taylor was wrong for Buck for a multitude of reasons, but none of those reasons were because she's a woman and Buck is gay. And the relationship with Tommy is not gonna magically last forever just because Tommy is a man. Tommy is this weird amalgamation of all of Buck's love interests with Ali/Ana levels of screentime and he doesn't magically have a fighting chance just because he has a dick and people can't seem to see this. And I think that's crazy. Because Tommy was given to us in an episode that had the theme of not recognizing people, while actively making us think it was about someone else and then they did the Kim storyline and I want to scream because people can't see the parallels. And the more I look at it the more insane I get because he's all of Buck's love interests smashed into someone who's Eddie two steps to the left with none of the things we love about him. But somehow he's perfect because he's not a woman. The only thing Tommy has going for him is not being a woman. You turn him into one and none of the things he did would fly. Letting Buck get away with physically hurting Eddie? Leaving him in the curb? Not dressing up? Making a kink joke after someone Buck loves almost died? Picture those scenes with Lucy and tell me anyone in the fandom would be shipping them. Let alone fighting for them the way people are right now. But he's a man so he gets a pass and that's so fucking weird. Evan Buckley is bisexual but getting dicked down isn't going to magically make everything perfect. Jesus.

Also, since you mentioned Eddie coming out, something that I've been thinking about since we found out it was supposed to be Eddie, a Buck who thinks he's straight finding out Eddie has a boyfriend would shortcircuit. I legit think they could not find a way to write Buck's reaction to Eddie being queer that didn't end with him figuring his feelings out so they switched things up, so Buck would for sure would've gotten there once Eddie got there because he would've had big feelings about it and Buck is not the repressed one.

[elliotts-personal-property]

I Think I Love You (Joe Elliott x Reader)

A/N: Hey y'all, as promised here's the Joe one shot. Feeling super nervous rn, considering this is the first time I’ve posted my writing on here. I'd love to hear your feedback so I can improve on my writing. I'm open to any and all constructive criticism and encourage it! Anyways… I won't keep stalling for any longer. I hope y’all enjoy this one!!

Warnings: Mentions/references to making out/smut but nothing actually explicit happens.

Ps, if you really want to feel the vibe of this one shot I'd suggest listening to "I Think I Love You" by The Partridge Family while reading this💗

With love, Kris<3

-

Sheffield, 1982

I'm sleeping

And right in the middle of a good dream

Like all at once I wake up

The poor guy had been tossing and turning all night.

Joe couldn't get his mind off of you.

Just the thought of you disrupted his sleep.

From something that keeps knocking at my brain

In his eyes you were perfect. You were the only girl in the world he wanted. Of course that also meant you were the one girl, who in his eyes, had got away. The one he could never have. Why? Because you were his best friend.

For months upon months he was stuck in this endless cycle.

It went a little something like this:

He'd think about you so much so that he'd convince himself that he had to go tell you.

Then he'd work up the courage to say it.

He'd find the perfect time to confess but then start to reconsider his choice. He always would hold it back when he decided it wasn't a good idea after all.

He'd then go back to thinking about how perfect of a moment it would've been and mentally kick himself for not saying a thing.

And the cycle would repeat.

It went on and on and on.

Before I go insane

As a result of this, he hadn't had a good nights sleep in a while.

That night was different though.

I hold my pillow to my head

Something had finally snapped.

And spring up in my bed

He had known how he felt for a long time. But he had never actually come to terms with the gravity of it.

Screaming out the words I dread

I think I love you

All at once it hit him like a brick wall. He realized he truly loved you.

-

On the rare occasion that your best friend felt brave he'd indirectly hint at something more. After a while of not getting any knowing looks from you he just assumed that you were oblivious to all of his side comments. You in fact were not.

After a while you started to get impatient with him.

You wanted to shout it out loud, right in his face, "Dear God Joe just ask me out already!"

Recently those side comments from Joe had stopped. You would've said something to him if he hadn't stopped. But now you weren't even sure if he still cared, or if he had just given up and moved on. It would be stupid to lose your friendship over this. So you stayed quiet just to be safe.

It was a shocker to both you and everyone else how you two hadn't gotten together already.

There were so many signs. It was only a matter of time.

-

This morning

I woke up with this feeling

I didn't know how to deal with

Another night of restless sleep had gone by. It was worse than usual, so much so that by dawn he had already come up with a plan.

He knew what he had to do. He was going to tell you the only way he could. In the only unique love language he knew, through music.

If he was gonna do it, it had to be big and flashy. Joe wouldn't have it any other way.

He couldn't let his feelings lie dormant anymore. No, he thought, this time will be different. This time I won't back out.

And so I just decided to myself

I'd hide it to myself

And never talk about it

He had kept his feelings to himself for the past few years. Joe wanted to tell you, he really did. But in the back of his mind he worried about ruining the relationship you guys already had.

Joe loved you so much that he was willing to hide his feelings just so you wouldn't walk out on his life. He didn't want to lose you over some feelings he had. Ones that he couldn't guarantee you'd reciprocate. So, he believed it was best to keep it to himself.

And did not go and shout it

When you walked into the room

I think I love you

Joe didn't just think, he knew.

Joe was dead set on what he had to do. He just needed to get a few things sorted. First off was getting the guys on board with it.

-

Joe gathered his closest friends together. They were less like bandmates and more like brothers to him. He knew they would help him out. All it would take was a bit of convincing.

"Can you please help me out?" Joe pleaded.

He assured them about his plan.

"It's just one, and it'll be real quick."

"Alright, fine," the bassist answered for them all, "What song is it anyways?"

Joe told them his song of choice and they all gave him odd looks.

Sav cocked an eyebrow at the song choice.

"The Partridge Family? Are you serious?"

Phil chimed in, "You really think a band like us should be playing a song like that?"

Steve rested his hand on his head, "Everyone's going to make fun of us."

Joe tried to defend his choice, "You know it can't be that bad. We're playing in a pub for god's sake. It's not like the whole world's gonna be there."

The rest of the guys seemed unconvinced.

"Come on guys, you said you'd help me. Please?"

He kept on.

"Just help a bloke out, alright?"

And on.

"Please I promise I'll never ask for anything ever again."

Rick half-whispered to Sav.

"You know he's never gonna let it up. Not until we say yes at least."

Sav knew he was right. Joe wouldn't stop bugging them until they agreed.

"Okay fine, but it's only one song."

Joe nodded enthusiastically, "Mhm yeah, just one."

It was settled, they would help. Now all that was left was to get you there.

-

I think I love you

So what am I so afraid of?

The thought of telling you was exciting to him, yet terrifying.

I'm afraid that I'm not sure of

A love there is no cure for

His heart raced as he drove over to your place.

I think I love you

Joe was already cheery about just the thought of you going.

Isn't that what life is made of?

He hadn't felt this excited over something in a long time.

As he pulled onto your street he tapped on the steering wheel. It was due to the mix of both the pure joy of excitement and an ever growing anxious feeling that was building up inside.

Though it worries me to say

That I've never felt this way

-

Believe me

You really don't have to worry

"You'll be there tomorrow, right?"

"Of course," you answered with a wide smile, "You guys go on at eight, right?"

God he loved your smile. It could light up any room.

He melted just looking at you. Anytime you spoke to him he lost all train of thought.

You snapped your fingers to get his attention.

"Joe?"

"Oh- um, yeah. Eight, we'll be on then."

I only wanna make you happy

After you said yes he began going through that same cycle again. He started doubting his whole plan. Wondering if it would work or not.

There was no way he could back out now though. For the past few days they'd been practicing that song, not stopping until Joe felt satisfied with the final product.

He wondered if you would stick around after all of this.

Would you tell him to "beat it" and move on with your life without him? Or would you stay there by his side?

And if you say, "Hey, go away"

I will

Joe crossed his fingers, hoping for the best outcome possible.

But I think better still

I'd better stay around and love you

He was determined to make sure you stayed.

Do you think I have a case?

Let me ask you to your face

Do you think you love me?

Tomorrow night he'd get the long awaited answer to that question.

I think I love you

-

You arrived early, wanting to make sure you were right up front. This is what you always did. It was your way of showing Joe you cared. You mindlessly tapped your fingers against the small stage, waiting for them to come out.

Meanwhile Joe was there fixing himself up in their tiny dressing room, (if you could even call it one). It was fairly small. The owner had "renovated" one of their small back rooms into a "dressing room".

He stood in front of the vanity mirror fluffing out the rest of his hair. Joe was doing any and everything in his power to keep his mind off of the plan. He looked at his reflection as he told himself to just smile and hope for the best. Whatever happens happens, it was no longer in his control anymore.

After waiting for what felt like forever the guys finally came out on stage. As Joe got on he stopped in front of you and sent you a quick smile before turning his attention to the other patrons of the bar.

You cheered along the whole time as they went through their usual set list. It didn't matter how many times you'd seen them, you were always captivated by their showmanship.

Time always seemed to fly by whenever you watched them play.

By now you had memorized their set list and were almost sure they were closing out now, having just played Wasted. They always saved it for last and were just about ready to leave.

That was before Joe had something to say.

The cheering in the room died down as Joe placed the mic back in its stand. He adjusted it right to his level, getting ready to speak.

"We have one last song for you all tonight. We're gonna take a little change of pace if that's alright with you."

He took a glance around at his bandmates, giving them all a quick nod before adding on.

"This one goes out to a very special someone. Someone who means the world to me."

His eyes drifted down to the people in the front row, moving one by one until eventually landing onto you.

"This is for you, Y/N."

Taking one last deep breath in he calmed himself before counting the guys in.

All of them started in, "Ba, ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba, ba."

You giggled at the ridiculousness of it before fully realizing the gravity of this song.

You knew what it was the second they sung the first line.

You hadn't heard it in such a long time and had practically forgotten about it, forgotten how much you loved it. It was always one of your favorites, and Joe had known that for a while now.

All thoughts completely left your mind when Joe began to sing.

"I'm sleeping,

And right in the middle of a good dream,

Like all at once I wake up,

From something that keeps knocking at my brain,

Before I go insane,

I hold a pillow to my head,

And spring up in my bed,

Screaming out the words I dread."

The rest of the guys joined in on the next line.

"I think I love you!”

This was his confession.

His eyes couldn't help but drift towards you.

"I think I love you."

While preforming Joe tried to keep his attention with the rest of the audience equal, but he kept on letting his eyes go back to you, like some sort of magnet that couldn't be pulled apart.

If him dedicating this song to you wasn't the most obvious thing, you'd say his looks alone were enough to tell you that this was for you.

You couldn't help but feel a smile tugging at your lips. Your cheeks started to feel sore from the excessive smiling.

"So what am I so afraid of?"

Every time his eyes caught yours you felt your heart skip a beat.

"I'm afraid that I'm not sure of a love there is no cure for."

Joe really did care about you, deep down inside he did, he always did.

Soon the song came to a close with their repeated "I think I love you's" becoming more and more quiet as they faded off.

They all came front and center, taking a short bow together as the crowd in the bar cheered them on.

The girl next to you had to have already been out of it.

"You're a lucky girl, huh?" she practically yelled into your ear. You couldn't blame her though, she was standing directly in front of an amplifier the whole time.

It snapped you out of the trance you seemed to have slipped into.

"Oh-uh yeah," you smiled.

"Look," she said, swinging her arm to point at the guys in front of you.

The rest of them were making their way off, leaving through the stage left.

Joe was the last one still up there.

You stayed staring at him in disbelief, not even knowing what to do. He had finally said it... or well sung it, same difference. What was there you could do?

He tilted his head to your right gesturing off to the side of the stage, to what you only could assume led to their dressing room.

He flashed you a quick smile before sending a subtle wink your way.

If it was anybody else, you'd say you were surprised by their actions, but for Joe? Well that's a different story.

With both of her hands the girl next to you latched onto your arm.

"Ooh looks like someone's gettin' some action tonight!"

Your cheeks flushed red and you prayed to god no one else heard.

Immediately you turned to Joe, hoping he hadn't heard the girl's remark.

His eyes darted away from you. Before Joe left you saw him trying to suppress his chuckling, but ultimately failing. His smug smile was the last thing you saw as he walked off the stage.

Of course he had to have heard it, why wouldn’t he?

The girl let go of you when you told her you had to leave. She told you something along the lines of, "Have fun tonight!" before you left.

You went around the corner finding the door that you guessed led backstage. The door was locked from the inside and there was no way of getting in. You didn't worry though, knowing that the guys would come out soon enough.

After a couple minutes of waiting by the door an ecstatic Rick swung it open. The rest of the guys shuffled their way out, but with their lead nowhere in sight.

You turned your attention towards the last member to come out.

"Is he?"

"Third door to the right," Sav answered before you could even finish asking your question.

"Thanks."

He gave you a warm smile, still holding the door open for you, letting you slip through to the back hallway.

"See you in a bit," he said, letting the door shut behind you.

Even though there was no reason to, you counted to yourself as you passed by each of the doors.

One...

Two...

You felt your heart race as you got closer to the last one.

...Three

You stood there for a moment trying to see if you could hear anything on the other side. You didn't and knew it was time to stop stalling.

After taking a deep breath to compose yourself you rested your hand on the cool doorknob.

Here goes nothing.

You slowly opened the door as quietly as you could and after shutting it watched the scene play out before you.

He stood there in front of a vanity mirror facing away from you. He hadn't noticed you but you could see his face clear as day through the reflection.

Joe was humming a tune while brushing his hair. You immediately recognized what song it was.

He was humming the one he had just played. His tone was full of pure joy.

Once he was done he ran his fingers through his hair, trying to shape it some more.

The man in front of you looked fine already but seemed to be getting ready for something more.

He adjusted the collar of his shirt before picking up a small bottle of cologne. Adding just a spray to his neck and one to his wrist before turning around.

Joe's humming abruptly stopped and his eyes widened.

"Oh… you're here?"

You'd been caught staring.

At this point any embarrassment that you could have had got washed away whenever he decided to dedicate that song to you.

"Sorry, I-"

"Don't be," he cut you off.

He set the bottle down and slowly approached you, seeming to take his time with it.

You watched carefully as he took every painfully slow step.

You didn't know where to start, but knew you had to say something.

"You guys were great."

"Thank you."

You had to bring it up, you couldn't bare to wait any longer.

"That song you played. Did you?"

You stopped, taking a quick glance around, noting that it was just the two of you in the room, before finishing.

"Did you really mean that?"

His gaze softened at the question.

"Yes."

He paused before stepping closer, leaving barely any room between the two of you.

"I meant every word of it."

Your heart sped up with every word he spoke.

"Y/N I mean it."

His hand moved up to tuck the loose hair behind your ear.

"I think I love you."

You had been longing to hear those words for such a long time. Never in your lifetime did you think it would happen, but it finally did.

He said that to you, and you only.

After all this time, you heard those three words you loved the most.

"I love you."

His hand moved down to cup the side of your face. You lightly nudged your face against his warm palm. Closing your eyes you took a deep breath in, wanting to smell more of the cologne that rested on his wrist.

When you opened your eyes his hand moved down to carefully tilt your chin up.

Your eyes faced him now.

"I love you too."

This was the moment. The moment you waited forever for.

Heart racing and eyes wide you both slowly drew in closer. It felt like the longest seconds of your life, waiting for him to connect with you.

You looked into his emerald green eyes before letting yours flutter closed.

Soon enough you felt the feather light touch on your lips. It felt like heaven to you.

You brought one hand up, letting you fingers run through his light brown hair.

You felt Joe's other hand reach down to the small of your back, gently pulling you closer into him.

All you could do now was relax your body and take in the overwhelming smell of his cologne.

After what felt like an eternity, the two of you finally pulled away from one another. You already missed the feeling of his soft lips on yours.

You refused to back up from him, leaving hardly any gap between you two.

His warm breath fell on your lips as he mumbled, "You don't know how long I've wanted this."

"Me too."

Joe's hands dropped down and his fingers latched onto the belt loops of your jeans before lightly tugging at them, pulling you closer.

Your hips were pulled forward and you lightly bumped against him before falling back and resting mere inches from him.

Joe's eyes quickly scanned over your face as if he was looking for a cue of some sort.

Though you had never seen this look on him before, you knew exactly what it meant.

"Please Y/N."

That short plea was more than enough to get you going.

Your arms almost instinctively wrapped around his neck, letting him know you were okay with it.

"Come on," he said, slightly lowering himself to reach the back of your legs. He lifted you up and stepped back to sit in the armchair placed in front of the mirror

Your legs were pinned close on either side of him, resting between his outer thighs and the arms of the chair.

Without warning the two of you crashed into each other once more, desperate for each other's touch.

He hummed into the kiss, making you relish in the feeling he gave you.

-

You didn't know exactly how much time had gone by, but you knew a decent amount had passed.

Slowly, you drew away from his neck and let out a shaky breath, still wanting more. It had now been a little while since you first got in there and you knew it would only be a matter of seconds until someone barged in looking for two of you.

Your eye contact with him continued as you calmed your breathing.

Lightly pushing yourself away, resting your hands on his stomach, you finally spoke up.

"We should go. They're pry wondering what's taking so long."

Joe thought about it for a second. Seemingly weighing the pros and cons of both staying and going.

"Who cares? Let 'em wonder."

You planted one last quick kiss before making an offer.

"How about later, yeah?"

A wicked smile spread across his face, already thinking of what was to come, "Yeah."

You pulled yourself off of him and tried to fix the newfound wrinkles in your clothes. After getting up he did the same and you stayed there fixing yourselves up.

Just as the two of you were about to walk out you stopped him.

"Wait."

He turned to you.

"You’ve got a little…," you trailed off as you brought your thumb up to the corner of his mouth.

"Something," you finished as you wiped the last bit of red lipstick off of him.

Feeling content with how the two of you looked, you set off out of the dressing room and back down the hallway.

He held the door open for you and led you out into the main room.

You both scanned your eyes around the bar floor trying to find the guys.

Joe grabbed onto your hand and held on as he guided you through the crowd. He led you over to the round booth where they were all seated. As you approached the booth he gave your hand a light squeeze before letting go.

It took only one glance at the you two for the teasing to start.

"Woah!" Phil exclaimed, "What happened in there?"

"Nothing," Joe replied making his best attempt at a deadpan tone.

"You sure about that?"

The rest joined in on by adding "ooohs," sounding exactly like a group of kids in elementary who just found out one of their classmates was called into the principals office.

This was only the beginning of the never ending teasing that was to come.

Phil raised his eyebrows, "Just couldn't wait until you got home, huh?"

Joe rolled his eyes at his bandmates teasing.

Sure you had been gone for a bit, but you knew there had to have been something else causing their reactions.

You looked between yourself and Joe quickly noticing the culprit.

Though you had made sure to get all your lipstick off his face you forgot to check the collar of his shirt. The sloppy kisses had caused you to completely miss his neck in some spots and just get his shirt. The shirt in question being a white one didn't help your case.

There was no sense in trying to rub it off now, and not like you could anyways.

Rick and Sav scooted around to make room for you and Joe.

As you sat down you both noticed all the other guys were already starting their night off with their drinks in hand.

Joe looked around at each and every one of them, "You started without us, aye?”

"We waited for a little while, but you guys took too long," Sav replied.

Joe turned to face you, "How 'bout a round?"

You smiled, "Sure."

-

Thank you so much for reading!! I hope you liked it💗

[skylardoesthings]

PLEASE DOOOOO drop more or elaborate your hcs I'm starting to feel the eiliea illness creeping back up so might as well (the illness was never gone in the first place) also just realized your blog title. handshaking u on that we are in this asylum together 🤝 - @kumagorosh

LMFAO??? Yeah guys, im ill abt these guys, its funny that theyre not my favourite characters though.

Anyways i hope you like my insane ramblings, this is gonna be REALLY long so, you can see em all under the cut 👍

For the "in go, to the public Kiyama is Kira Hiroto, to his friends and family, hes Kiyama Tatsuya" hc, the reason why they found out his name is Tatsuya is because of Touko. No one knows how she found out, all they know is that one day during summer she appeared, saw Kiyama and went "HEY TATSUYA!" And watched him panic,

Inazuma Japan noticed that Kiyama and Mido sometimes tend to not answer them whenever they say their names, so they would say their alien names. When the two do reply by their alien names, they would yell "WRONG TRY AGAIN!" bc they are Not Gran and Reize anymore and they have to learn to not reply to those names

As for "The reason why InaJap was so nice to kimido was because of Dark Emperors" hc, it sorta came to me out of the blue while rewatching s3, Mido and Kaze are good freinds despite aliea and my hc is that is the reason why everyone warmed up to them – if DE didn't happen, Kaze wouldn't feel like he understood what Reize had to go through ans that feeling of inadequicy that followed them, if this makes any sense. (Note; if DE didn't happen, they would've either A. Not even be a part of InaJap or B. Be a part of it and get treated like outcasts, kinda like Fudou.)

Also all the sun garden kids, areori or og, knows how to fight btw. Og sun garden is just, better and stronger because of the Aliea Meteorite

ALSO BTW. This is game canon but like, aliea???! Is so fucked up in the games? Like Seijirou rlly was going to sell those kids as weapons of war and we went "wow, normal IE stuff." And Garshield too. Like what the hell

Anyways back to the hcs; Demonio, Kiyama, and Ronijo are friends! "How so?" You might ask, its the child experiments.

Prominence is very used to the heat and prefers it, they hate the cold.

Diamond Dust player, menawhile are the opposite, whenever it snows Hitomiko always has to remind them that they're human and need to be warm, so "Don't go outside without gloves or jackets–!" And they absolutely hate the heat.

Ok this is just semi canon bcz mido, but Gemini Storm totally has a inferior complex.

This is dubiously canon? But all of Eisei are on given name status with each other, and for the og cast, they're still a bit to awkward (well, more like strangers) with each other to do that, but in go they totally call each other by their given names

Ok now for my hyper specific hc where i have no idea where this came from but its something i like and kept

Reina is a psychologist! Maki is a nurse, why? Because honestly, with the way they grew up, they were probably frustrated a lot by all these different things would probably want to help themselves and others. Why them specifically? Idfk it just happened. Same thing with Mutou being a techie, Nagumo being a choach to bunch of kids (like handa in canon), and a bunch of other stuff

Ngl, my hc is that all the Kira's were probably in the spotlight post-aliea, so the hc that Shuugo probably lost a of friends when he was a kid was born,

Which takes me to the hc that he loves his friends and family. He's not ashamed to be a Kira, he holds so much pride for being one. One of his goal's for when hes an adult is to probably just make something for himself, be someone he himself could be proud of,

I honestly have ZERO idea where i got my "Kiyama sees a lot of himself in Kariya" hc, but i think it was when i was rewatching s2 and went "wow thid guy has a lot of similar mannarisms as Kariya" whenever i saw covert Kiyama+Gran

Which takes me to the, "Shuugo and Kariya are just mini versions of the aliea captains" hc, which is mostly by mannerisms. They probably unconsciously mimicked them or just adopted it into the way they do things or smthn idk. Hitomiko finds this adorable.

Ehm. Here's some of Shuugo and Kariya actually why not, mostly shuugo because... he's my favourite.

The whole "they're complete opposites of each other" bit is mostly based on my other headcanons, but also from Shuugo's recruitment needs + kariya's canon behaviour. (shuugo's talks for the both of them, and kariya in turn, insults people for fun)

Shuugo likes to fist-fight people btw, he's nice and calm, but he has anger issues, and when someone pisses him off bad he'd start fist-fighting people, which is pretty often. (Kariya in turn, gaslight people. for fun. like father like son, I guess?)

Nagumo taught both Shuugo and Kariya curse words.

Shuugo was the one who came up with the idea of Masaki transferring to Raimon (the moment he joined the soccer club, shuugo went through all five stages of grief at once)

oh yeah kariya and shuugo have a sibling-like relationship. idk if you can tell from all the previous hcs.

literally no one knew that they know each other, so one day during the match of raimon 1gun vs raimon 2gun in s1 of go, they started talking to each other post-match and everyone was just "????? since when ???" and the revelation that kariya is an orphan and shuugo knows him because his cousin(??) is the "owner" of the orphanage opened,

also because of kariya and shuugo knowing each other, the two of them (along with ichino and aoyama!) sorta become the bridge between raimon 1gun and raimon 2gun! they have a lot more joint practises and team 2 are able to play in official/friendly matches!

Also fun fact, Shuugo was supposed to have a character arc similar to Hikaru's when he was first introduced in the sequel for go s1, aka, Chrono Stone, but as we can see that never happened. Anyways, i totally do NOT have a whole ass plot and am writing a fic of this for myself. nope, Nuh-uh.

(i am, i just stopped writing it cause i got stuck with a bit I cannot write to save my life :sob:)

wow this is. really long, i am so sorry if this makes no sense, and I'm sorry in general.

[enihk-writes]

[i got my red dress on tonight]

pairing: baek cheon x afab!she/her!reader

summary: you were in a wedding dress for an assignment, baek cheon misunderstands the situation.

word count: 7.21k

[01] ║ [02]

content warning: mentions of a death late in the story // brief detailed description of a post-mortem examination

author's note: heavily inspired by that one scene in the crimson wedding arc from yeon lokheun, webtoon chapter 44-45,,,,, oh man,,,,,, it got me thinking for YEARSSSS!!!!! i was running laps and losing my mind!!!! oh my god!!!!! foaming at the mouth,,, yall i have to get it out of my system asap,,,, i let it marinate in my noggin for too long,,, finally i have my perfect lab rat to test the scene on,,,,,,,, baek cheon,,,,,when i catch you,,,,,baek cheon,,,,, grabs him like a squeaking rubber chicken.... i hope yall know im writing this while my main room light is broken and im doing all of this in complete darkness lmao the maintenance takes weeks to get back to me.... OH AND BTW,, the story got so long i had to cut it in half... i think i would have gone insane if i let it run any longer.

[PLEASE PROCEED WITH CAUTION! I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY TRIGGERS CAUSED BEYOND THIS LINE]

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the fourth division of the emperor's guard corps was a small unit with members you could count with the fingers on both hands. otherwise known as the unnatural death investigation squad, you and your fellow detectives would take on cold cases from various magistrate offices across the empire, who just couldn't understand why people were suddenly dropping dead like flies without rhyme or reason. most times, it was a restless spirit. other times, it was the work of some unorthodox martial arts cult.

and when it was the latter case, that's when you had to call on other martial artists to deal with their own. civilian government and murim politics shouldn't mix. that was the first and most important unspoken rule everyone had to follow. but it was not that big of a deal to turn a blind eye toward anything not involving the law.

it was from these exchanges you first got to meet baek cheon.

he was by all means a good guy, annoyingly put-together every time you crossed paths with him. it would've been better if he wasn't so sharp to know exactly what would rile you up — made you wonder if there was some ulterior motive for all of this.

it was on the last night of an expedition in some town you didn't even remember the name of anymore. the case was closed with no issue and the spirits had been led into the afterlife smoothly. it was just one of those days when the problem was nipped in the bud early enough that the casualties were kept at a minimum. your fellow detectives had decided to celebrate by drinking and eating at the inn till your pockets were drained.

you let them do what they like, besides, it's been a while since the squad had a proper break from work. it was good to keep things balanced, and if you did run out of money you could always ask the emperor for more.

but there was no doubt that you were growing tired. eyelids growing heavier as the night went on, the noisy chatter of the people around you was lulling you into a short slumber.

miss detective, you shouldn't be sleeping in a place like this.

there was a low voice speaking softly in your ear. you open your eyes a crack to see a hand cradling your head gently. as you slowly came back down to earth, you glimpse at the familiar faces of the mount hua sect disciples talking to your subordinates. chung myung was already ordering multiple bottles of wine as he made himself comfortable at the table seated next to your vice-captain, the others were mingling around. which means—

are you awake, miss detective?

in your drowsiness, you had somehow leaned back far enough to fall out of your chair. baek cheon had caught you just in time and saved you from getting hurt. you should have been thankful, but the embarrassment of having him of all people see this humiliating side of you really ruffled your feathers, and you had to hold back from jolting away out of instinct.

thanks... i suppose.

you say, muttering off at the end. not wanting to look at the man who was now sitting next to you.

hm? i didn't quite catch that...

you swing your head to glare at him indignantly. but baek cheon returns your hostility with a closed-eyed smile, an arm propped up on the table, his cheek resting on his palm.

i just wanted to say thank you... for catching me from falling over just now...

hm.

that's it? a mere hm, like he wasn't trying to tease a reaction out of you and you were fighting so hard to not give him that satisfaction of knowing he got you wrapped around his finger, and all he could give you was a hm?

you know, if baek cheon wasn't as handsome or good-looking as he was, you wouldn't have been this upset and bothered. you were so cool-headed, you were so good at being calm it was exactly how you got this job but he had to dance into your life and keep appearing around you to the point where it was weirder if you hadn't heard any news about him at all—

hold on.

wait.

did you... did you just think that he was... handsome and good-looking?

oh no.

you did like him. when did it even happen? how could you have let this happen? this wasn't what you had planned! ugh, curse that stupid heart of yours! why were you this weak to handsome men?

standing up, you feel your face grow heated. shit. shit. shit. has he noticed that you liked him? you'd rather be caught dead then have baek cheon flash you that annoying smile at you again.

miss detective?

you look down at his face, eyes turned down in worry. a small pang shot through your heart — were you going to have to be mean to that soft expression on his face?

you racked your brain for a reason, any good reason to leave, but all your answers were all filmsy and really, truly obvious that you thought he was a problem. but he just looked so much like a kicked puppy your mouth just began to blabber.

i'm fine. i just.... needed some air... that's all.

oh, that was so smooth. you totally nailed it, you smart woman—

ah! then, could i accompany you? i guess i'm still worried that you would fall over like you did earlier...

fuck. you couldn't say no to that.

sighing deeply, you nod. whatever strength in you utterly spent. you knew in your gut that whatever god or guardian angel existed was snickering at you right now. and you sure hoped that you were putting on the best-damned show of their lives.

you made your way out to the back alley, but not before dropping the money for the bill in the store-owner's hands. baek cheon followed closely behind. so close, in fact, that sometimes you would move back a little and inevitably bump into his chest. and every time you did, his hands would ghost over the dip of your curves. always close but never actually touching you, leaving you even more frustrated at each instance.

ah...?

you feel something furry brush past your ankles, the sudden feeling made you jump back yet again. and once more, he was there to catch you from falling unceremoniously to the floor.

miss detective... please be careful...

his voice was low and breathy, and so, so dangerously close to your ear. again, those stupid hands of his were hovering along your sides. barely touching even though he could have. you glance at his hands. you mind wonders how it would feel on you.

they were bigger than yours for sure, rough with callouses and healed over cuts, probably from the training he's done. his fingers were thick, but also shaped so beautifully — shame that his nails were cropped short, you think it would have made his hands look lovelier. if you held them, you wonder, would your fingers fit into the gaps of his?

was this the time to grow a little courageous? should you say something? your head runs with questions you were not sure if you wanted an answer to, but if this went on for any longer, you don't know how your poor heart would have handled it.

mount hua's righteous sword, there is something i believe we should address. something that is related to the two of us.

you had turned to face him, your eyes looking straight into his. baek cheon gulped anxiously at the intensity of your gaze, moving a step back as you took one forward. one foot behind another until he was backed up against the wall. he wanted to hide his face, having you right in front of him like this... he didn't know just how much more he could endure.

i think you're a little too close, miss detective.

am i now?

you chuckle, palms laying flat on the wall on either side of him, arms straight as you hold yourself up and only slightly away from him. everything around you begins to go dull, it was just you and him, standing in this narrow and dark back alley where no one had ever bothered to pass through. the night was cold, and the warmth radiating between from him was tempting, but you weren't going to make the first move. you figured he might share the same feelings as you did, or something close to it. if you push at it, would he fold to his desire or would you be proven wrong?

miss detective, i'm not sure if we should be doing this?

hm? whatever do you mean?

miss detective, please don't act coy.

baek cheon tried to be firm with you, tried to reason with himself that this was just you playing a prank on him. though, he really wanted to know what it would be like if he leaned down and took your lips in his, and got you to shut up for a bit.

forgive me, miss detective, for what i am to do. i am merely a mortal man with desires, after all.

his voice dropped into a breathless whisper as he brought his hand under your head, cradling it as gently as he would a precious being. fingers tread through your hair before it takes hold of a small bunch, yanking it lightly to have you look up into his face. your hands hurriedly grasped his uniform, the fabric bunching up in your tight grip. sure, you did the calculations, but man, were you shit at math. your heart was racing so rapidly at that point you just knew he could feel the thumping of your chest against him.

nervous?

he asks, leaning down a little closer, the corners of his mouth quivering from turning upwards into a smile. this little shit! you should've known he was ten steps ahead of you and planned for you to corner him like this since the night began!

so you connected the dots?

i cannot imagine just where you get your audacity from.

hm, maybe if you kiss me now, i could tell you.

stop looking for excuses and just... you know what?

baek cheon's eyes widen when he feels you grab the front of his uniform, pulling him down and feeling something soft barely brushing against his lips for a moment before you pull away.

you hid your face behind your arm, feet flat on the ground after standing on the tip of your toes just to reach his ridiculous height. if you didn't know any better, you would have thought you were running a fever with how heated the back of your ears and neck were becoming, palms ridden with sweat and the shrill ringing in your ears. you hoped it was dark enough that he wouldn't see you in this state.

baek cheon on the other hand, was still reeling from your straightforwardness, never really expecting that you were the one to take the lead. but strangely, he wanted to see more of that side of you, and honestly? he liked that his heart fluttered from that.

oh? taking the initiative now, aren't we? miss detective, you've gotten so bold...

grinning down at you cheekily, he tries to take a peek past the arm you were hiding behind. he was really having the time of his life taking the piss out of you, wasn't he?

please shut up.

i think you'd have to make me, miss detective.

you shot him a look. wondering if you were the bolder one or he. but maybe you didn't really need to mull over that question for long since he's already cupped his hand on your cheek, tilting your face to meet his as he leaned down once more, to give you a proper kiss on your lips this time.

and you couldn't find it in you to pull away.

he felt the same.

if one of you pulled away for a second, even for a short gasp of air, the other would chase after them — it's almost like the two of you had finally been given something you were both starved of for who knows how long?

it was getting dangerous, how heated things were growing to be between the two of you — he parts from the kiss for a moment, muttering a soft, wait, as his arms hooked under your knees, hoisting you up and against the wall.

you take this moment to look at him, properly. the new angle had him looking up at you, eyes a little glassy and his lips slightly damp and swollen from all that kissing. that forehead ribbon of his had begun slipping a little, your hands found their way to the back of his head, untying the knot and watching it fall over his eyes and draped across his shoulders.

i didn't even notice it was coming undone...

baek cheon mutters to himself, not really bothering to do anything with the ribbon, especially since his hands were a little busy with holding you up against the wall.

you giggle, leaning down to kiss his now exposed forehead, a peck on his brow down to the bridge of his nose and further onto his cheekbones and back again on his lips.

he smiles into the kiss, growing giddy as the air grows scarce between the two of you, the heat of the moment growing to a boiling point and beginning to tip over. shit, things were going fast, but it felt like it was now or never, your clothes were dishevelled enough to be taken off at this point and if he'd asked you to, you think you would have done it without question.

senior investigator!

baek cheon sasuk!

it was the voices of your juniors sent out to look for you both. probably because of how long you were back here with him.

the two of you pulled away from each other, minds still in a daze from what conspired. but as the footsteps grew closer towards the direction of the back alley you were in, the realisation snapped in instantaneously — baek cheon drops you on your feet, as you scramble to straighten out the creases on your attire, he ties his hair back up as neatly as he could, patting his uniform down and trying to look presentable. not that getting caught would have put either of you in trouble, it was just not something a senior should be seen doing, especially when out in public.

you look back at him, and your eyes meet. you feel a little shy after what happened, and he shoots you a sheepish grin in an attempt to apologise for the interruption. hm, maybe you should find him in private later, to continue this exchange, seeing how neither of you were satisfied with this outcome.

miss detective...

baek cheon clears his throat.

our juniors are calling for us, i believe we should get going.

you nod, absentmindedly.

you were the first to walk off, baek cheon hanging back for a moment, not wanting to cause you trouble by walking out together with you. even if he really wanted to pull back for one last quick kiss.

stepping out onto the streets, your junior officer greets you, their eyes growing round in the way only a rookie new to the field would be. through the nervous stammer of their words, you receive your instructions for the next operation.

behind you, baek cheon finally emerges from the shadows, heading towards the kid from his sect, the one named jo-gul, was it? they talked amongst themselves, voices too far and too muted for you to dechiper. well, who cares? that wasn't any of your business anyway.

miss detective, i'll be going in now.

again, his voice was low and slightly raspy in your ear. a hand rests on your shoulder, a little rough and bigger than yours but still pleasantly warm regardless.

sure. i won't keep you here any longer.

your tongue darts out to wet your lips, looking away from his hands.

the rookie's eyes dart between you and baek cheon rapidly, the cogs in their brain turning faster when they see how his hand leaves your shoulder and down to his side, though his fingers kept lingering over the small of your back as he talked to you.

he pulls away at the last second, hands balled up lightly as he takes a step back and turns to walk towards the inn. the rookie clicks their tongue, what was that anti-climatic scene? if he wants to flirt, do it properly, for heaven's sake!

oi rookie, watch it.

shoot, they forgot you were still right there.

═══════════════

that was the first of your many escapades with him.

both of you were moving from town to town and had different places to be every time. but on the off chance he was in the same area as you were, he would always be the first to find you, slipping out of bed in the middle of the night to meet you at the open windows of your room. sometimes he'd walk in with his sa-jaes into the restaurant you were in and act as though it was a whole coincidence. with the whole never expected to see you here speech and everything.

it wasn't though. you had already told him where you were planning to take the kids for dinner when he came over last night, and you had joked then that he would use this knowledge to walk in like he had no clue beforehand and put on a big act about how all this was such a coincidence, totally not something he'd already known of.

aww... so you want me to lie to everybody?

he sulks a little, rolling to his side in mock sadness, facing away from you. but the bed you were both lying on was only so wide, and baek cheon ended up on his back, looking up at the ceiling while the cicadas cried into the summer night skies.

you giggled, cooing at his somewhat childish display, your hand reaching out to cradle his cheek, turning his face to meet yours.

but i thought you said we shouldn't tell anyone about us yet?

scooting a little closer, you drape your arm across his chest, moving around to get more comfortable. a short pause later, you let out a tired yawn, nuzzling your head under his chin, fingers curling around the loose threads of his clothes.

you couldn't see it then, but baek cheon's felt a small twinge in his heart at what you'd said. yes, it was true that he'd suggested keeping your relationship a secret, for now. but, it was also true that you wouldn't have agreed to be with him in any way if you were both ever open about being together.

you'd told him in passing about how falling in love or having a significant other was risky and frankly, quite troublesome — especially in your line of work. if you ever needed anything, or ever felt the need for something physical, you'd rather have one where strings weren't attached.

did you like him? yeah.

were you committed to him?

...

that was something you don't think you could ever say yes to with any sort of certainty or conviction.

you liked the way things were with him now. meeting him every few weeks, making out in dark corners of the streets or behind closed doors where no one else goes, catching up and cuddling in bed until he had to go back to his place before the sun rose — it was nice. that was a nice routine.

if you were to commit, what if your feelings for him begin to change? what if they changed because putting on a label for your relationship was like chaining you to him in some way? you were a selfish person, always had been and always known it. you didn't like promising yourself to someone, yet you wanted baek cheon to be with you only and also hated the idea of you yourself ever liking anybody other them him.

your finger had been drawing shapes on his chest mindlessly this whole time as you were deep in thought. he wonders what was weighing on your mind this deeply for you to be looking that lost?

baek cheon decided not to push it.

if you'd retreated away from him, out of habit or apprehension, he doesn't think he would be able to handle the pain he would feel from that. so instead, he chooses to flip you on your back and pepper your face with kisses. at least it snapped you out of whatever reverie you were in, and he even got to see you giggle a little.

this was good enough.

it was good enough for the two of you right now.

═══════════════

i have to go off earlier tomorrow.

it was spring now, and a few days after new years. the red banners and lanterns were still hanging above the streets, festivities still not over with the distant laughter of children or the clinks from the cups filled with sweet wine from last year's harvest or the startled barking of dogs as firecrackers were set off.

i can't tell you what it is about, obviously.

you continued, making your way over to where he was, settling down on his lap, legs on either side of him as you were both face-to-face. he hums softly, arms slowly snaking behind your waist, pulling you in close enough to burrow into your chest.

someone's a little clingy tonight...

you say with a teasing lilt in your voice, not bothering to stop or push his head off you. he mumbles something in retaliation, though you couldn't hear it with how muffled the sound was from how he covered his whole face in your chest. wow, who would have thought that the righteous sword of hua was a pervert all along huh?

earlier that day, baek cheon had a feeling in his gut, he didn't really know if it was a good or bad feeling but there was something in there, telling him that he should try to wear his heart on his sleeve just for you tonight. it's almost like, he was scared of something that would certainly change your relationship with him was going to happen soon.

you look down at him, wondering what got him so unusually quiet.

cheon-ah.

he lets out a noise of acknowledgement, not looking up at you.

cheon-ah, what are you thinking about?

this and that.

he still wasn't looking up.

you huffed. really? you were finally seeing him after more than three months, and now, he acts so distant when you're bound to leave tomorrow? this was unacceptable.

cheon-ah, look at me...

a short pause, and with a shaky breath —

...please?

he hears the tremble in your voice, and he feels like a knife had pierced and twisted through his wretched heart. no, he didn't mean to make you cry, he didn't mean to upset you.

he looks up, eyes desperately meeting yours, taking in how glossy it looked. really, he should be saying something, but he couldn't find the words. choosing to pull you down on the bed with him, amused by the muted grunt you let out when you fell on his chest.

sorry about that.

he wants to tell you how much he's always liked you, he wants to tell you how much he's waited and waited to even have the courage to first approach you, he wants to tell you that he wants so much more than a touch-and-go night encounter with you, that you were so much more then a means of fulfilling his physical needs.

but yet again, like every night before this, he keeps those thoughts to himself. he could see clearer than anyone that you still were not ready to commit to him. he said he could wait, and so he will wait.

honestly though?

he was believing less and less in his own patience.

═══════════════

the new assignment your unit was taking was the consistent deaths of young brides who, after being left alone to prepare for the first wedding night, were all found dead under mysterious circumstances. no signs of a struggle led everyone to think it was a case of taking one's own life.

thing is, with one or two far-apart cases it would have been a viable reason. but with how it started all of a sudden and had never stopped since, everyone believed it was a serial killer. again, with no traces, there was just no way to tell who was responsible for all the tragedies that have occurred.

the fourth division of the emperor's guard corps, otherwise known as the unnatural death investigation squad, were all psychics of varying degrees. some could only see, some could only hear, some could only purify and some were a combination of a few of those traits. but all were trained imperial soldiers, and you stood above them as an outsider with the ability to do all three.

you had to work really hard to gain the respect of your subordinates. though, that is a story for another day. people have asked, wondering why the emperor, of all people, would ever put together a unit that specialised in exorcisms?

well, sure he was a man of science, and he personally didn't believe in all of this occult gibberish. but he was a ruler, and a decent ruler listens to the needs of his people no matter how silly it was. at the height of the unexplained death phenomena that spread and planted seeds of fear into the hearts of the people nationwide, the special unit was formed quickly and dispatched. deep down, you knew the real reason was that he did not want to create a flaw in his authority and risk his position on the throne he fought so hard for.

when all these cases were solved, what was going to happen to you? what was going to happen to your subordinates? the emperor, he was a man who kept up appearances. if history were to record the existence of this unit, he would have seemed like a fool who believed in something as baseless as the supernatural. and he hated that idea more than anything.

though, that was a bridge you would have to cross when you get to it. you just hoped you could lie and provide a cover-up convincing enough when that time comes —

chief detective!

you felt your body jolt in surprise. you were so out of it, not hearing the constant calls from your juniors. what a bad example you were setting. your worries will have to be put aside for now. you were to meet with the latest victims of the bride slayings.

you step into the bedroom of the newlyweds, decorated from floor to ceiling in red, the colour of prosperity and the promise of a life of joy with each other, now sullied with the blood of the innocent bride.

right in the middle all alone, was the groom, sitting quietly on the chair, his hands gripping the veil his wife wore close to his chest. his back heaving, his breaths shallow and shaky. it seems he has cried away all of his tears, and all that was left was a man who was a shell of himself. he turns to the people coming in, and you bite back a gasp at the hollow emptiness of his eyes.

have you found the one who took my wife's life away?

the fathers of the bride and groom share a look, before shaking their heads. unable to find the strength to answer him.

oh, i see.

the man answers numbly, turning back to look at the veil in his hands. his shoulders droop even lower and you felt so, so much pity for the family.

the two fathers bring you back to the courtyard. telling you the story of how all of this happened.

═══════════════

new years eve.

the streets were filled with villagers visiting vendors and watching lion dance performances long after the sun had set. the energy of the crowd grew when a palanquin decorated with ribbons and flowers made its way down the road.

cheers and hoots erupt from the crowd as the more nosy few tried to take a peek at the bride inside. she sat with her legs folded under her, hands placed delicately on her lap, the vibrant red veil covering her face from the world. she was glad for the veil, grateful at how it hid her giddy smile. she had met the man of her dreams and was now going to marry him? she never thought she would be this lucky.

after tonight, they would really be husband and wife.

the bride giggled, her hand over her mouth, she was so happy. would this happiness ever end?

the palanquin soon left the village centre and turned onto the road leading to her groom's house. the trip was a short and rather uneventful one. after all, it was from her parent's house on the other side of town, less than a few minutes away.

when they arrived, she stepped out and was greeted by a line of ladies-in-waiting, all hired just to help her prepare for her wedding night. the bride, felt her face heat up at the thoughts running in her head — how improper! she really should behave a little.

she was hurried into the bedroom, all decked out in lavish red decorations, and was told to wait for the ladies-in-waiting to come back soon.

the door shut behind her, and the bride was left to her thoughts.

the moon shone high above the cloudless night sky, it's cold light gentle and quiet. the bride takes off her veil, taking in a deep breath of the fresh air after being suffocated under the veil the whole ceremony.

hehehe...

a tinkling laugh swept past behind her in the dark bedroom.

startled, the bride looks back, searching to see who or what it was. she takes a timid step, and then another into the dark room. her hand rests on the back of a chair to steady herself as her eyes grew used to the darkness.

she was alone in the room.

how peculiar, the bride thinks, wondering if she was just hearing things from exhaustion or nervousness.

the shadows above started to trickle down onto the unsuspecting bride, as a pair of hands began to take shape around her. the long fingers taking ahold of the veil in the bride's hands slowly, inch by inch, until the sides were bunched up in their hands.

keugh...!

in a quick motion, the shadows lifted the veil upwards, catching the under of the bride's chin. the bride didn't even have the chance to react, it all happened in an instant. she couldn't even put up a struggle, and her feet grew limp and eventually stopped kicking.

═══════════════

that was how we found her.

the groom's father ended the story with a glance into the room where his son still sat. the bride's father was also in a mess, covering his eyes with the palm of his hand, trying not to let out a sob.

you take in the sight before you, steeling yourself to ask the inevitable question.

if i may, could i see the body?

the fathers share a glance.

you may.

they agree to the request and turn to lead you to the funeral home where the victim lay to rest. the one who met the three of you at the entrance was a small, middle-aged man who had his seeing glasses balanced precariously on the tip of his nose. he introduced himself as the private coroner the two fathers had hired. you nod solemnly in greeting.

we will be taking our leave now chief detective. i hope you can find the culprit soon.

when the backs of the two fathers finally disappear into the horizon, you turn to the coroner, your gaze landing on the table behind you. you gesture at him to give you the run down of what he's found.

the bride's injuries were as expected, ligature marks on her neck where she had choked against her veil. her eyes were rolled back, and her tongue was puffy, sticking against the roof of her mouth, meaning it was hard for her to breathe. thin miniscule red threads were found on the underside of her fingernails, probably from when she was clawing at the veil. interestingly enough, there were no signs of other materials found. no skin or foreign hairs, did she not see who had attacked her?

there's also something i want to show you

the coroner pulls the white sheet covering her body down, revealing to you a spot on her shoulder, dark with veins growing outwards of the centre in a spider-web fashion. you took another look at the unnatural paleness of the corpse, it's almost as if —

her blood was drained?

yes, and we found her like this, officer.

you look at the man, hoping he would continue, but he only replied with a shrug. it seemed that he was just about as clueless as you were in this bizarre post-mortem findings.

you thank him, regardless. leaving the funeral home to meet your team with more questions than answers.

the surroundings were quiet and still, almost like nothing this terrible ever happened at all. nature held back, refusing to give you a clue on this matter. you didn't sense any presence back in the bedroom, you felt nothing in the funeral home or even when your fingers hovered near the odd spot on the victim's shoulder.

chief?

somehow, your feet had led you back to the inn you and the kids were staying in. you didn't want to waste too much time, as much as you would have loved to ask more questions about when the incidents even began, there was a wedding scheduled in a few days and you were not going to let a bride die like that on your watch.

═══════════════

chief, isn't this dangerous?

it is. but we have to do it, i can't think of any other plan. we're too short on time.

but what if something happens to you, senior?

you pause, mulling over the idea once more, before letting out a long drawn-out sigh. you plop on the chair, tired and exasperated, your head in your hands. they were right, something could go wrong and you could die from this. but a job was a job, besides, you didn't want to risk anyone else's life with this reckless plan you had.

if something happens to me, remember that getting rid of the culprit is your top priority. you can always find me later. is that clear?

silence.

the kids all looked at each other anxiously.

officers. have i made myself clear?

your voice hardens, time was ticking. you had to go now.

a few of the new recruits flinched at your cold tone and the older ones looked away. you were going to ask them again but they finally responded a meek, yes chief.

═══════════════

night has fallen, the red lanterns had been lit once more and the colourful banners and ribbons danced high up in the breezy night skies.

baek cheon walked together with his sect brothers past the bustling crowd of people. they were all leaving the town to go back to mount hua after finishing the odd jobs the elders had given out.

hey, isn't it a lot busier today?

one of the other second-class disciples wondered aloud. baek cheon looks around him, noticing the crowds were larger than yesterday's. and a lot more excited for some reason too.

did you hear? there's a wedding procession coming along!

another wedding? didn't we have that a few days ago?

baek cheon, felt his ears twitch.

a wedding, huh? his mind wanders off to an image of you donned in red silk, patterns of peacock feathers and branches woven in gold thread, a red veil over your head and your hair decorated with peonies and the loveliest plum blossoms one could find atop mount hua.

just like that bride sitting in the palanquin over there —

oh.

his heart sank, shattering at the pit on his feet. he knows that face anywhere, how could he ever hope to forget that face that was now mirroring his own in shock, though he couldn't tell if you were just as despaired as he was.

you had only planned so far, you didn't think he would cross paths with you like this. you didn't want him to see you like this. not at all, not ever. your mind registered the way his shoulders fell, shoulders that were always straight and firm, to show the world how he carried the name of mount hua with pride. they fell, because of you.

what should you do? you have to let him know but, the mission! you couldn't abandon your post, but you —

your eyes darted frantically, nails digging into your palms from how tightly your hands were balled. something, there had to be something!

a gust of wind blows harshly past the town, strong enough to send your veil flying off your head towards the crowd of people. it flutters in the air, like a vivid flame, falling gracefully on the dusty dirt path.

baek cheon steps past the crowds, picking up your veil that fell to his feet, clutching the delicate fabric in his hands. he looks at it longingly for a moment and you wonder for a moment if he would have a change of heart and tear it up in anger. maybe if he did, you would have felt better, it would be justified and you would have paid your dues.

a loud crack and the sky was filled with blooms of light. the crowd's attention was drawn to the fireworks being set off in the distance. their heads and bodies turn away from you, and they made their way towards the site of the new spectacle. you watch baek cheon exchange words with his sect brothers, and they wave goodbye as they too turn and went off.

it was just you and baek cheon, and the distance in between you two, left in that place. he dusts off the debris on your veil and walks towards you in big strides.

one. two. three.

just like that, he stood before you, his features backlit by the blinding fireworks in the sky. you couldn't read his expressions either, the night was too dark for you to make out anything.

cheon-ah...

you know.

he cuts you off, not wanting to hear what you were going to say. not wanting to know if this was truly what he thought it was.

you know, i've always wanted to be the one to lift this veil off you one day. but to think another man would be the one to do it, and not me... it hurts. i'm sorry for being so selfish, i know you don't like men that are like that. but, i can't help it... you know?

baek cheon gently puts the veil back on your head. he wants to tell you how pretty you looked then, but he bites back. this wasn't his place to say such a thing, he wasn't even yours anymore. besides, he's said more than enough.

he steps back, and takes another, turns, and begins to head off. if he stayed, he might do something he would regret, he didn't want to go off and act on his desires and ruin your future because of it.

you weren't thinking when your hand reached out, grabbing the end of his sleeve, gripping at it till your knuckles turned white.

baek cheon stops in his tracks, his head turning to look back at your face, the outline of your frantic expression shining through the translucent veil. you were so cruel. how could you pull him back in like this, when you knew how weak he was to your every order?

don't grip it so hard, you could hurt these lovely hands you have.

he spoke softly, taking your balled fist in his, thumbs rubbing it over soothingly. he coos as your grip grew loose, lacing your hands together with his, bringing it to his lips as he kisses the tip of each finger tenderly.

he's still not your husband yet, and you're not his either. so i suppose this much i can do.

muttering, he cradles the back of your head tilting it up to face him. baek cheon leans down, placing his hand over yours that had wriggled free from his kisses, now gripping the frame of the opening in the palanquin.

you gasped softly when you felt his lips meet yours, the veil that was still draped over your head acted as a barrier, but it couldn't really obstruct the desperation you felt in his kiss. he parted for a brief second when the air in your lungs ran out.

cheon-ah, listen...

he draws you in for another kiss, and another, and then another. or was he the one moving closer towards you? either way, he was falling into the small space of the palanquin you were sitting in, the air rapidly growing warmer as time went on.

finally, he pulls away, breathless and dazed. you were looking up at him, doe-eyed with lips soft and plumped from his ministrations. you looked so tempting, he wanted to carry you up and away from here to someplace no one besides him would know of, leave everything behind and live out the rest of his life with you.

your hand reaches up to brush his hair out of his face, tucking a strand behind his ear, fingers ghosting over his cheek. baek cheon laughs tiredly, moving to place a peck on the palm of your hand and finally pulling away fully. stepping out he stands up fully, squaring his shoulders, he steels himself to really get going.

wait, cheon-ah...

your hand reached out again to grab at him, but he was too quick for you, leaving you grasping into thin air. your hand fell, and so did your heart. you didn't get to tell him, you stupid, stupid woman! you were supposed to tell him, weren't you? getting all caught up in a kiss like some teenage girl in puberty — you were the head investigator of the fourth division for fuck's sake!

you sigh deeply, leaning back to rest against the hard lacquer of the palanquin. you had to get back to your job. hopefully, nothing bad happens and you finish this mission quickly. maybe you could even catch up to him and finally explain everything, clear up all the doubts in his mind once and for all too.

you lit the smoke flare and sent it out to your unit waiting on standby.

well, it's time to get going.

[undercoverdonderwolk]

not to accuse you of being back but maybe you will be and maybe you are and ifffff you are and feel like it 👀 ... so I followed you over from hockey because I'd been ignoring the F1 on my dash, but it was looking like fandom slippage was inevitable. But I was definitely skim scrolling a lot of that for the past 6 months or whatever until Singapore when I LOCKED IN and also went insane

So! I know you've posted about this but I wasn't fully listening at the time and now it matters to me 😩 - remind me why/that it's good that daniel left?

I'm only here for the narratives and believe in the powers of fandom to make meals out of anything (8 years into hockey fic, trying to watch an actual hockey game still bounces right off of my eyeballs). But also. seems like the consensus is he shouldn't have done that. my counterarguments are that horner seems evil and cyril seems like a real one, and the renault fits served cunt. pretty sure at some point you said something more reasonable than that lol

(glad you're back, not that you're back, dash is worse without you, hiiiii)

hello! this is a v complicated and loaded question that a lot of people have different opinions about. this is just my view on the whole things. so why daniel left... i think deep down daniel did want to stay with red bull but a lot of things happened that year that made it very clear to daniel that max was going to be the number one driver sooner rather than later. helmut straight up told him they wanted to win one championship with daniel and then go on winning them with max. more and more people on the team would chose max's side rather when shit went down daniel was in the right. the contract daniel was offered was less than what max was offered. add to that that daniel had had eight dnfs with red bull that year. plus honda were coming in to take over and daniel didn't trust their engines. daniel was hot shot at that time. probably one of the most sought after drivers on the grid and there were teams offering him insane money and to build the entire team around him. daniel had good reason to want that and he knew he wasn't going to get it at red bull. he was badly advised and went to renault, which i personally don't even think was a horrible choice at that time. with the knowledge we have now it's easy to wonder what would've happened if daniel had stayed. i think it would've gone badly. max was always going to get the full backing of red bull to win those championships, not daniel. he would've had to fight that battle by himself, against his own team, and he would've lost. daniel would've ended up as red bull's second driver. he'd have been okay with that now, but not then. best case scenario, he would've spent a few years losing to max and then he would've still ended up at a midfield team, always wondering, what if i'd jumped ship earlier. maybe i'd have that championship now. he would've more wins, definitely. but the cost would've been huge

[solradguy]

Do you ever get caught up in the immensity of the Guilty Gear fandom that used to exist? Not that it was particularly large, but it felt different.

Around 20 deadlinks in and I start to feel like I’m walking in an abandoned city of skyscrapers when I’m barely medieval. Where did they all go? Did they used to be a nation?

I do... Last night I spent 3 hours going through just Livejournal links and blog archives, not even Dreamwidth or Geocities webrings, and it was like that. Some of the core people went off to college/post-college jobs, like Ed Chang. Most of the original GG fandom left, I think, because they would be in their 40s now. Isn't that crazy to think about?

Some LJ profiles had birthyears that were like 1980, 1982. They would've been in their teens or early 20s at the peak of Sol/Ky discourse circa 2004. Wonder what they would think knowing people like you and I have been sifting through those old posts haha

It is sad how much is gone too though... I used to be in the Doctor Who fandom with a big interest on the pre-reboot stuff (so media before the 8th Doctor's movie in the mid '90s) and it was insane anytime any of the fan media from that popped up. Doctor Who cosplay photos from 1970 will change a man. Sitting there, wondering what those teens-now-retirement-age-adults are up to. How much of their original fandom is gone... Some Classic Who episodes/media only survived because dedicated fans recorded it and kept it safe. The BBC wrote over or threw out original episode reels from the '60s and '70s. Their GG Vastedge... It can be recovered, but it will never be whole again.

I wish there was less petty arguing in fandoms. It makes it hard to want to record what's happening in the moment. In 2043—20 years from now—how much of what we're talking about and making now will be archived? How much of it do people feel should be archived? I think it's all important, honestly. Fandoms are such a uniquely human experience and Guilty Gear's is fascinating for how closely it's managed to close the gap between its Japanese and English-speaking communities, and for the large amount of LGBT people in it.

Tumblr, Livejournal, Dreamwidth, Twitter, and Neocities are not permanent things. If you love something, make copies of it and copies of those copies. Rehost things, keep records. Think about the city of dead links and deleted Tinypic image hosts. Some of the GG stuff we have now only exists because the original poster 22 years ago kept copies in two places.

[clotpolesonly]

20 questions for fic writers!

tagged my @thotpuppy!! &lt;3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

209

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

1,195,283

3. What fandoms do you write for?

on AO3, i have posted for: Teen Wolf Merlin Raven Cycle Captive Prince Dark Rise Supernatural (crossover w/TW) once upon a time, back in FFN days, i also wrote and posted for Harry Potter (primarily) and then one each for Newsies, Little Mermaid II, and Twilight. none of these fics ever got finished lmao.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Metamorphose (Merlin, Merthur, 7750 kudos) Happiness is Effortless (TW, Sterek, 7746 kudos) Much Ado About You Two (TW, Sterek, 7046 kudos) I'll Dissolve When The Rain Pours In... (TW, Stackson, 6172 kudos) We Duel At Dawn (Merlin, Merthur, 4949 kudos)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i respond to all my comments!! (except for comments on old suspended WIPs that ask if i'm writing more, which i let sit in my inbox to haunt me like a beating heart under my floorboards slowly driving me insane until i figure out if i am writing more or if i can definitively tell them it's abandoned alkfdgh) i've been stuck recently though and have let my inbox get backed up for a month, so i really need to go on a reply spree soon 😭 it's just a point of pride, i guess? i made the decision that i would Respond To All Comments/Reviews I Ever Get when i first started posting back on FFN in ye olden days (like 2008 lol), and i've been pretty darn good at keeping that promise to myself. and i just think it's nice!! FFN had private messaging, and a lot of those responses turned into whole conversations and friendships that lasted for months. community engagement is a good thing and i like reaching back to the people who reach out to me.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

proooobably These Gordian Knots We Tie (Sterek)😅 though An Empty Glass Is An Ugly Mirror (Dydia) is also pretty bleak.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

uuhhh most of them??? i write a lot of fluff, LOL, i wouldn't know how to pick out just one that stands above the rest when the vast majority of my posted oneshots are sappy as fuck 😂

8. Do you get hate on fics?

i really don't, tbh. which i count myself lucky for, cuz i hear a lot of horror stories. but i've only gotten a small handful of negative comments, most of which were bitching about disagreeing with the characters' choices. i don't think i've ever fielded personal attacks or what ye olden FFNers would've called flames, lol. proportionally, they're negligible.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

on occasion. out of my 209 fics, only 13 of them are explicit, which is roughly 6% lol. including my 7 mature fics (not all of which are rated so for smut, i don't think) ups that to 9.5% 😂 i'm just not very interested in writing smut, not to mention it's both difficult and kind of boring and repetitive when you think about it. i feel like i'm notorious for romances that use one kiss as the climactic ending, if even that, haha. when i do (rarely) write smut, it's usually in dedicated pwp format, rather than integrated into a larger story, cuz i just feel like most larger stories (mine, at least) don't need it 🤷🏻‍♀️

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

the only crossover that i've written and posted was Teen Wolf/Supernatural, cuz i just could not resist the urge to have Allison call the Winchesters and tell them that her father had gone on a hunting trip and he hadn't been home in a while. i just needed that in my life, and i was offended that no one else had written it. also i thought that Dean "Easily Flustered By Flirtatious Men" Winchester should really meet Stiles "Doe Eyes, Witty Banter Someone Needs To Sex Me Right Now" Stilinski. for reasons.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

i have! the reason that i teeechnically have a wattpad account is because someone yoinked To Be A King wholesale and posted it over there themselves, and i needed an account to be able to message them to take it tf down. weirdly, they changed some of the names, but not the distinctive names? the identifying names?? like Mordred or the names of my OCs. it was an odd choice. anyway, they took it down immediately with no other response. i think that's been the only time, as far as i'm aware.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

i've got 15 translations listed in my related works 😍 8 of them by the same industrious person, bless them.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

not since that one disaster of an attempt with a friend in early high school, lmao. that's when i realized that i am a control freak with high and unforgiving standards. she was writing her parts 1) badly and 2) WRONG and it drove me up the wall. i can't handle not having complete control of the narrative 😅 i write alone.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

that's not faaaiiiiiir, patently impossible to answer, next question

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

if i don't finish For Shell And Safety someday, it'll be a fucking tragedy, cuz i'm really proud of that one and i was so so invested in it when i started it and i've still got Thoughts on how it's supposed to end, i just got stalled out in the middle of it and never found my momentum again. but.....it's been 6.5 fucking years. however, i feel like, because i do still have those thoughts and plans, that one might have a better chance than REM-DAC, because THAT one stalled out right before it was supposed to be over due to the sudden realization that i actually wanted there to be a sequel and i couldn't tie up the loose ends in the first fic without knowing how to set up for the second one. but. i never figured out concretely what i wanted to happen in the second one. and it's been 5.5 years there too. still no concrete plans. so, despite that one also being a GREAT FIC that i'm VERY PROUD OF and deeply invested in, i will have to at some point accept the reality of how low the odds are that i will ever actually get back into the swing of it and finish what i fucking started. they haunt me.

16. What are your writing strengths?

i'm really not quite sure 🤔 strengths and weaknesses are easier to tell from an outside perspective, lol. i feel like i write good natural-feeling dialogue. at least, the professor in the one short story technique workshop i took in college told me as much 😂 said i had the best dialogue in the class. been riding that high for a decade aldkfjghf

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

idkkkkkk 😅😅😅 pacing maybe?? like, long form pacing in lengthier narratives??

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i have avoided it so far, lkajdfgh. objectively, i think it can be done well and it can be done badly, and different methods serve different purposes so it depends on the story which is most appropriate. the online medium provides more avenues for it than print, like the hover text translations that used to be more popular before phones/touchscreens without cursors became the most prominent way to read things, or superscript links to footnotes with translations. some people put the translation directly into the narrative like an echo, but that gets really tedious really fast, and it would be simpler and more streamlined to just cut out the other language entirely and say "XYZ" he said, in french instead. overall, my preferred method is to filter it through the understanding of the POV character and their potentially limited/imperfect grasp of that other language. if they don't know what's being said, we don't know what's being said. if they pick out some words and get the gist, we see their thought process of figuring it out. it informs our understanding of the character, as well as providing an obstacle and creating tension. if you want to include a full translation of the foreign text, you can in endnotes or a postscript, but i don't really think it's necessary. if people wanna find out what it says, google translate is free 🤷🏻‍♀️ probably best not to use google translate to write the thing, though. if it's not a language you speak, preferably find someone who does speak it to translate, to make sure it's accurate and not butchered. hence me avoiding writing anything that requires other languages 😂 cuz i'm a monolingual usamerican loser who doesn't want to go to as much trouble as it would require to branch out like this. i am a "so-and-so said something unintelligibly french" bitch.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

cut my teeth on Harry Potter back in the day

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

another patently impossible question, i have no answer for this, i love all my fics equally (or at least in tiers uwu)

.

i am tagginggg: @adamprrishcycle @flightspathfic @nooowestayandgetcaught @adrianfridge @nyxelestia and anybody else who wants to do it!!

20 questions for fic writers!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

3. What fandoms do you write for?

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

8. Do you get hate on fics?

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

16. What are your writing strengths?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

19. First fandom you wrote for?

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

[fountainpenguin]

Your Beverly post (wow I have not thought on that show for years) suddenly made me try to imagine how she would interact with Chloe Carmichael. Any thoughts? (and prayers, let's be honest)

Yoooo! I wish we'd had a Bunsen Season 2 just so I could find out if they really were setting up a "Beverly backstabs Amanda and now she runs this show" plot. It's right there... C'est la vie!!

I've been sick this week and bingeing T.U.F.F. and Bunsen Is a Beast... Every time I've gone back to those shows after time away, I'm like "Wow, every line of dialogue is SO GOOD... I missed this so much." Insane amount of animatic potential for other fandoms.

I want to do the "Well, look what we have here... SOMEONE TO BLAME!" sequence (T.U.F.F. - "House Broken") with Dev and Peri so badly... It's so "Peri trying to sneak back into the Dimmadome household after the finale" coded...

I actually have a nice-sized liveblog post in my drafts that I was leaning towards not posting, but... Bunsen is so ridiculously close to my sense of humor and T.U.F.F. to the way I like worldbuilding for animal people that it's hard for me not to fawn over them, haha. I am cringe and free. Maybe I'll post that tomorrow.

I've always wanted to write a nice 'fic for each of my fandoms. I have a whole Keswick backstory I outlined years ago (centered around the canons of Keswick fighting his clone to the death, destroying his home dimension, striking a deal with The Chief for three-hearted bloodsucking rights, stuff like that).

It's one of those "I can't spend time on this without cutting into something more important" situations... C'est la vie! Life's too short, but Keswick cracks me up. What do you mean he killed everyone on his home planet and now he has a fear of being attacked by orphans? What do you mean he drops lines like "If I didn't work for the good guys, nothing I do would be legal." What do you mean his boss drinks his blood without consent? Hey!!

I have some other T.U.F.F. drafts that mainly revolve around Snaptrap and Larry being brothers-in-law (Canon, but only confirmed outside the show) and what that's done to their family, plus some other fun stuff with Chameleon and Meerkat... I might finish those because they were going to be quick one-shots anyway and they are ITCHING at me... We will see.

I just think Meerkat's sheer desperation to get in the cool kids' club despite it being painfully obvious he doesn't know his rights or why the other villains do what they do is really funny... Snaptrap, Birdbrain, and Chameleon know they're better off calling in to inform T.U.F.F. about their plans - because doing so legalizes breaking out of jail - but Meerkat doesn't know that's allowed... He waited out his whole sentence... I love him. I can't believe Wannabee got left to pull off a crime on his own because all his teammates had jury duty... He's just a little guy...

Also, I still love Mikey Munroe... He's my favorite. He is consistently mean and manipulative... That is a CHOICE for your protag, and it's fascinating. He's the epitome of "Looks like a cinnamon roll, but would kill you." I would've loved to see a Season 2 just for more Mikey. I ADORE him <3

The thing about Bunsen is that it is silly and goofy and it's just really funny to me. What do you mean Bunsen is regularly tempted to eat Mikey and he carries reminders that these urges are natural, but he needs to resist? what. excuse me?

Anyway, I'll have to post that liveblog... I just have feelings... I can't stop thinking about Dimmsdale and Petropolis being very heavily implied to exist in the same location, but in one of these worlds, the magical forest is held at bay and in the other, it's not, so it's grown out of hand and trying to eat people... I'm screaming.

ANYWAY! It's hard to wrap my head around Chloe and Beverly interacting, but I think you're onto something there- It's the "I've been working hard since I was a preschooler" energy.

But Chloe tries to be Lawful Good and Beverly is somewhere between Lawful Evil and Chaotic Evil, so they're gunning for completely different things.

I have a headcanon that at her first Fairy World Games, Chloe tries to play for the Anti-Fairies and Pixies because she feels bad for them. This gives me the same energy... Chloe feels bad for Bev and wants to help her.

I feel like Chloe would be hugely supportive of Beverly's attempts to enroll in middle school despite being a preschooler. She'd want to be her friend. Beverly is just nice enough that it's easy to overlook how unhinged she is. I feel like Chloe could easily be suckered into helping Beverly, and by the time she realizes "I'm the assistant of a child running the park like a dictatorship," she'd be in too deep.

Chloe has such "I try to see everyone in a good light" energy, and we know from canon that this gets her suckered into doing a lot of things she doesn't want to do. Beverly apparently has enough authority to organize a picket line (At least, she was the one who dismissed everyone after the picket was over), so...

I think Bev would run this show and Chloe would have a hard time getting untangled from that. Chloe is the right-hand man who would get excited when she sees the hero showing up.

"You came back!!" [following an argument where Chloe defended Beverly] and then she glances sideways at her boss. "I mean... Oh, no... We're about to be defeated..." (Said in the same monotone as "Oh no, I have tripped on my cape").

Insert joke about Amanda and Chloe having the same VA, so they can perfectly mimic each other's voices to confuse Bev :)

[soleminisanction]

Zastruga is one of my favourite works of fanfiction I have ever read. Would you ever be willing to share a brief summary of how you had planned for it to end?

In retrospect, I think part of the reason I stalled out and could never get the last chapter done is, to tell the honest truth... It was basically going to end like the movie did. The last chapter I posted functionally completed Jack's new arc, and all that was left was the fireworks of a big triumphant fight scene, with the biggest difference being that the increased length of the story had put the Guardians in even more dire stakes for them to rise back from. But Jack was still going to free the tooth fairies and rally the kids to restore their belief, and Sandy was still going to come back, and North was going to recover from his gut wound, and they were all gonna band together and kick Pitch's ass.

The biggest difference is that it was going to end on an epilogue scene where Jack came to find Pitch slowly recovering in a much-diminished version of his lair. He'd keep his distance, but tell Pitch that he'd heard the stories now of when Pitch used to be a kind father, and that he believes them because he could see the potential there. He's not going to let Pitch Black hurt him anymore. But he hopes he gets to meet General Pitchner someday.

The final note of the story would've been Pitch responding to those words with an attack, only for Jack to be long gone, leaving him alone in the dark once more.

---

So yeah, that's what I intended. But truth be told the entire time I was writing that story I was also being driven slowly insane by Alaska's weird day-night cycle and by the time I recovered from that I just couldn't get through a fight scene long enough to do the end of a fic that long justice. 😞 Who knows though, it's been ages since the last time I watched the movie and I've still got the last book in the novel series sitting on my TBR shelf. There's always the very very slim chance that one of those will kick my ass into gear long enough to give the little monster a proper send off, I do feel bad that never quite stuck the landing.