#i would've bought a travel plan but they don't even have one

[fakeasmr]

I refuse to pay $12 a day in roaming charges so I end up searching for open wifi wherever I go like a desperate child with an ipod touch

[luvyeni]

CONSEQUENCES OF A ONE NIGHT STAND. ( chapter. 14)

— CHAPTER FOURTEEN: telling the parents (fail) ...

— 𖦹 warnings?

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"jungwon , stop complaining." his mother rolled her eyes , sitting the food down on the table. "im just saying i can't believe i had to sleep on the air mattress." you laughed at your bestfriend , all these years later and he still whined to his parents.

"because she's pregnant jungwon , she can't sleep on the air mattress." you smiled cheekily , of course you could've slept on the air mattress , you planned on doing so , giving your bestfriend his bed back — you just wanted to piss him off. "my name isn't jake , he's the one that got her pregnant , not me."

"jungwon enough, eat your breakfast " you stuck your tongue out , your phone rang , you picked it up , reading the daily good morning text and check up from jake. you smiled , texting him back. "speaking of the devil." jungwon said. "look at that smile , for someone who claims they're just in it for the baby , you surely are cheesing hella hard." you rolled your eyes. "hush up , it was only a good morning text."

"i just can't believe you're with child , jakes none the less." jungwons mom fed you more food. "he is a wild one , i was surpised when wonie brung him home during spring break."

"well as long as he helps out with the baby , he's free to do whatever he wants , date whoever he wants." you said , something in the back of your head saying you didn't really mean that , but you pushed it down. "now that i think about it." jungwon started. "i don't think i've seen or heard him talk about another girl , for the month it's been all about you and the baby in the group chat , i almost kicked him out because of it."

"you're a professional hater , you know that right?" he smiled. "like it's a full time job."

"you're gonna tell your parents today right?" his mom spoke up , you sighed nodded. "how do you think they'll take it." you shrugged. "horrible if my predictions are correct." you never got along with your parents , being the oldest sibling , your parents always set the standards at a unreachable level , and would get mad when you would fail.

your younger sister on the other hand — being the baby and all , was treated with love and care , given everything she wanted , even if her grade were horrible. when she turned 18 for her graduation present wanted to travel to europe for a year with her friends , your parents funded the whole trip. when you were 18 you asked them to help you with your books for college , they said they were already paying for half your tuition and they couldn't do it.

when your sister said she didn't want to go to college like they pressured you into doing , but instead she wanted to be a youtuber , they bought her an entire set up that cost thousands of dollars , but when you asked could they help you with the down payment for your cafe , they refused , if it wasn't for jungwons parents you would've probably be in debt.

it's safe to say you've pretty much cut contact with them , and now you have a successful cafe , and they're still financially supporting your sister who is now an adult.

"well you are always welcomed here , that baby will always have a home here." you smiled , standing up to hug the woman who was more like your mother than your actually mother. "thank you , so much for that."

"we don't have to be at your parents house for dinner until 8 , so we have time." jungwon said. "wonie , how about you let ( name ) handle this on her own." mrs. yang spoke , washing the dishes. "what the hell am i supposed to do then?" he said. "uh spend time with your mother."

you grabbed his hand reassuringly. "she's right , i can do it on my own , spend time for your mom , it's not every day you visit her." he nodded. "if that's what you want bubs , then i guess i can stay here and wait , text karina and make sure sunoo is doing his job." you hugged him. "i'll be fine i swear."

after helping with the chores , you decides to finally suck it up and get dressed — thinking of multiple ways you could tell your parents , each resulting in them being horrible as the next. "where are my car keys?" you paced back and forth. "you mean the ones in your hand?" you looked down , sighing. "you don't have to do this alone." he said. "i do , i just need to get it over with." you slipped your shoes on.

"okay." you huffed , finally ready to leave. "i'm gonna go now." you took one of his sweaters. "make sure they aren't burning my store down." he reassured you , pushing you out the door "okay , okay go , you're late." he said. "good luck honey." mrs.yang yelled , you thanked her knowing you'll definitely need it.

after 25 minute drive to your house , and 15 wait outside your door , you finally worked up the courage to get out of the car , walking to the door , knocking on the door. you heard the old family dog barking , before silence , the unlocking of the locks nerve wracking , the door swinging open. "you're late."

you and your sister stared each other down. "you look fat." she turned , letting you walk into the house. "take your shoes off , the mother just cleaned." you complied , deciding not to argue. "i did live here at one point."

you bent down , petting the old dog , who jumped at your side. "hi girl , it's been a while." you let her lick your palm. "everyone is in the dining area."

you let out a inhale , exhaling before walking into the dining area. "next time call when you're gonna be late." your sister sat down , you could tell this was not gonna be easy. "me and jungwon got caught up." you sat down. "of course , you spend more time with that boy than you do your own family." your mom passed out the dishes.

"well im surprised you even noticed." you said. "are you talking back?" you shook your head. "no mother."

the dinner went by just as you suspected , your family saying sly comments about you and your life , and you praying to god to escape — almost calling it quits and leaving many times. "can we just stop beating around the bush." your sister said.

"it's been 4 years since you left , you've block everyone on social media , we have to hear from mrs.yang about you , so why are you here?" you guess it was time , sitting down your utensils , sighing. "well i came because i have something to tell you."

"is it about your business? because we've already told you we're not- i didn't come here because i need something , my god can you just listen for a second." you snapped , making them go silent , you huffed , before speaking.

"well." you gulped , i just wanted to tell you guys that , i am pregnant." you watched their eyes widen , before your mom sat her utensils down. "pregnant?" she questioned. "yes."

it was so silent , you thought that they could hear your heart beating out of your chest. "can't say im surprised." your mom said. "what does that mean?" you scoffed. "you've always been know to make stupid decisions." she said. "it was only a matter of time before you gotten yourself pregnant." "do you know the baby's daddy? is he your boyfriend? why isn't he here?" your sister spoke.

"of course i know him , and no jake isn't my boyfriend." you said. "you're having a baby with someone you're not even with." your sister shook her head. "so it was a mistake?" you were growing annoyed. "does that matter, the baby is coming regardless."

"you didn't think to get rid of it?" you scoffed at your mother. "are you serious right now?" you said. "i should've come here." you stood up. "what are you gonna do now?" your dad said. "gonna come crawling back to us for money , much like before with the cafe , you can't keep asking the yangs for money , they'll eventually get tired of you."

you scoffed , more liked laughed. "that's what you think?" you nodded. "my shop is doing way better." you said. "i didn't come here for money , i just came to check something." you said. "guess i was right." you walked out of the kitchen.

"i won't be back again." was all you said before you grabbed your shoes , walking out the house to your car. you climbed into the car , driving off , and you just kept driving , straight past the yangs house , you couldn't stay in your home town any longer.

— ( taglist. CLOSED ) @j-wyoung @whoslai @cha0thicpisces @sunsunl0ver @wonyoungsvirus @omgtintarr @en-dazed @kwiwin @httpsrinrin @igotkpoops @enhaz1 @ahnneyong @electrobutterfly @nes-caf @beomgyusonlywife @jup1t3r-y30n @gyulune @mixtape-racha @ddazed-lhs @shuichi-sama @chaelinhhwang @stariszn @rikisly @ilikekpop-c @jenjnk @ilovehimyourhonour @peachyun02 @primroselover @sxurgrapes

©️LUVYENI

[sourbinnie]

☆ diamond eyes.mp3 ☆

♡ genre ¿? ♡ -> heavy angst ¡! ♡ pair ¿? ♡ -> chan x gn!reader ♡ plot ¿? ♡ -> time will see you realign but for now, he had to deal with the pain of your loss. ♡ warnings ¿? ♡ -> implied character death ; grieving ; cause of death isn't mentioned but i think you can imagine (s*icide)

a/n: new format with the saddest song i could've picked up and a really tragic imagine, i'm sorry if this is too triggering. if it's too bad, i'll delete it!

to the edge.

waves kept crashing on me in the middle of this lonely beach in my mind. places i traveled to, to forget about the reality i lived in. the one where you weren't next to me and i had to live with the weight in my heart. the one where you had to go and leave me all alone because you thought that was a better solution. the one where we had fought, we had made up and i thought we were good but it all had to end too soon when it didn't even start.

i gave you 6 whole years. i gave you 6 years of me, of my life, of my soul and i have to live with the fact that you're not here anymore? wake up and feel numb? dread and sorrow surrounded me. it felt like i was floating for a moment as i tried to get up from our bed. it was always going to be ours, it wasn't just mine and i didn't know why i was making such a fuss over a bed and it's owners. 

this is how i spent most of my days now. trying to survive and not being able to handle the truth at all. i stayed in our shared apartment, i couldn't find my way back to the dorms. i knew the boys were worrying but i didn't know why, they knew i could handle myself.

or maybe i couldn't at all.

what mocked me the most since you've left, was the ring. the one i bought with changbin & jisung one day when we were out. they helped me pick it and see what would fit perfectly in your finger. the one that held the promise ring when you decided to leave me. that would've been occupied with this perfect ring that i bought for you but life had other plans and it eliminated everything that we had planned out for the future. a future that didn't hold any hope, just more suffering and illness to haunt me. 

i could not do it without you before, what makes them think that taking you away from me is the solution?

it was not easy to wake up, it was not easy to live through the day and then go to sleep at night. having those dreams with you where i hold you and i don't let go because if i do i have to wake up and you're not there beside me anymore. how many times did i have to go through the same routine? how much more work could i drown myself into till it's enough? till the pain is gone and it's all enough. all i wanted was to be enough for you and you didn't want that.

you wanted me to be myself, well here i am and you're not. here i am as i visit you every day, as i bring flowers and place them where you lay to rest forever in peace. here i am as i cry my eyes out and scream till my voice is gone and i have to leave again to die more and more every day. i just wanted to reunite with you one last time to see you, to hold you, to tell you what you deserve to hear and that's more than i love you.

you shined brighter than any star.

now as i look into the sky, hoping you're there, watching over me, i can't help but think.

how beautiful you were the last time i saw you and how sad your expression was. how cruel life is that it took you away from where you belonged and that was here with me. how egotistical and pathetic i was when we fought, how everything was always about me and how you always put me first even though you were the one that mattered. you were the one bringing a change to the world, with that smile of yours and that loving heart. i could never compare to you, yet here i still was and you weren't, you weren't here anymore.

"i love you channie." resonated in my mind, as i tried to not lose my breath again. how many more times did i have to go through a day where you weren't here? how much could i handle without you? why do i have to handle things without you? why didn't i ran out of tears already? why is feeling numb better than being sad?

so many fucking questions and not one goddamn answer, because you weren't fucking here.

you didn't take me with you, didn't think about how i would feel without you and now you're gone. how much longer do i have to do this? how much grief is there in me? do i have to do this? i don't.

but i want to for you. i want to because you would've wanted me to, i want to because you're my light, my world, my star and you deserve it. you've been nothing but good to me these past 6 years and the unconditional love you gave me, deserves to live on. i would do it for you, for my family, for the boys, for everyone. even if it meant i have to fake a smile every single day as a i relive that haunting phone call, i will do it.

i think i am never gonna recover, never gonna be able to walk into a hospital again and never gonna be able to look at the stars and not think of you. i think you took everything from me when you decided to leave. 

i think i died with you.

i think i’m always gonna live in the shadow of your death and i’m not gonna be able to get up one day and decide to fall in love again. love was gone, there wasn’t any left to give or take, you took it all from me.

you took my heart, my soul and all of my strength.

i don’t think it’s fair how i get to stay and you don’t, i don’t think i’m doing a good job of carrying on when i don’t get to see you anymore. 

oh how i wish we could’ve had that proposal, that wedding, that eternal love. now i had to reminisce about memories i never lived and pray that this pain wouldn’t be eternal.

but i knew that as soon as i got to be with you again, i would be grateful.

[bearpillowmonster]

Epic Mickey: Rebrushed

I'm an Epic Mickey stan, I would've bought this whether I played it or not, just to support it because I've always wanted more. (mainly, for Oswald!) But so much was planned for this franchise, including a movie and an Epic Donald spinoff.

CHANGES

Looking at this is night and day especially for a dark setting. The graphics weren't bad on the Wii, they were just, well, on the Wii. (which ran at max 720p) And while that's still feasible, it's so nice to see everything smoothed out and relit. They didn't have to go as far as messing with the actual fidelity of it or the custscenes but they make it known what a movie it would've been and we lost boys.

The addition of sprinting, dashing and butt stomping is really what this game needed because the first Epic Mickey was a Wii exclusive and I loved playing it when I first got into it but I found it had faded since then. I came back maybe a year or two ago to try and play it again and I just couldn't bring myself to. I like platforming and the platforming in this game sucked, it wouldn't control right, I felt like I was jumping in a straight line, like barely any momentum. It wasn't quite there for something you do a lot of. And if you fall in the thinner, there's very seldom a platform to catch you so dying sets you back and then you had to walk back so sprinting is just a complete clutch.

You also had aiming to deal with as far as the Wii remote- This review is for the Switch version, yeah, I knew that it would run a little worse than the other consoles but now I have the experience to talk about specifics and I wanted to play it on the go. The darkness I mentioned can be adjusted, not just in brightness but in color and style for color deficiency. You cannot shake the joycon to spin.

There is a choice to use motion controls when you're spraying but that's the only time it comes up, you already have to have the button pressed down and even then you can just use the analog stick, it's really good either way, no complaints. You can also set it if you're standing still and press the down arrow. The framerate…could dip and there was a time or two where it'd get stuck, the load times can be long (but you don't see a loading screen often) it's just weird to me that the game is a remaster of a game from 2010 and actually has the biggest file size on my Switch and even with all that size, has longer loading screens than comparable titles like Super Mario Odyssey.

And this is especially important for this game because you sometimes have to traverse back and forth between Ostown and Mean Street and whatever to get the side quests done (and sometimes main) and every time you have to speedrun the same pathway level (projector) to get there and each time you jump in or out is a loading screen. Seeing as this is labelled as a remake and not just a remaster, they very well could've made a fast travel. There were some instances like that where the sequel had the feature that I wanted and was hoping that it'd be updated in here like so many remaksters are doing now, Last of Us and Horizon for example.

The one thing that did carry over is that you've probably seen the different skins that you get with either preorder or purchase, there are a few unlockable ones as well. They fit well with the 2.5D levels (Brave Little Tailor for 30s cartoons, Steamboat for 20s). There is a photo mode, it's not as customized in the 2D levels but I definitely had fun with it if you can't tell.

It's the same game but it's not one-to-one, for example, the locations of the power boxes are different in Os-Town, scenes like this look different.

Which is a downgrade in my eyes but some of them are very neutral, like the health bar

…that's a choice, I guess, there was no real need to change it. It definitely makes things more textured and seem a little less rough, look at this platform where you find Pete Pan.

Sometimes more detailed and lush, but sometimes it takes from the scene. Little stuff like goo dripping from the ceiling removed, sometimes it's the overall colors and vibes of a level to either lighten or darken. I can't say whether I like one or the other totally more.

THE GAME

Let's talk about the meat because it's 60$ so I'm going to treat it like it as if it was a brand new game, plus I never reviewed the original and I don't talk about it enough so here we go. I'll cover thinner mode in some other post, this is more or less hero mode.

It's a reasonable amount of hours and honestly time as been gracious to it, whether it be the growing cult status or the fact that it's on other consoles other than the Wii because while the combat still leaves a little to be desired, the gameplay overall is a lot more refined in my eyes.

There are times where your paint can't reach an item, it's not a bad limitation but still in sight, it tells you what's reachable by turning green. But this is especially precise and annoying for the ending with the bloticles. I don't get what it is with games and popping bubbles.

Oswald is in this a lot less than I remember, I always thought of him as making mischief for a level but he kind of shows up just to show you your end goal. Towards the second half he appears a lot more though. It's kind of cool how it's all a Alice Through The Looking Glass type thing and Oswald is the White Rabbit. And all things forgotten, Atlantis, Tron…no Black Cauldron (which fits perfectly) and no Treasure Planet though everything that is popular is all mechanical, an artificial imitation and the way Smee is colored makes it look like the concept art, all inverted from the way we know and it's just-

I really like the idea of having different endings correlating to how you played. When I first played this, I tried to hundred percent it first round and paint absolutely every nook and collect every item and to be honest, I found myself doing a lot of the same stuff I did when I started, it's funny, I have the same thought processes but I've come to the conclusion that if I waste my time on just one collectible, it won't be as fun and I won't want to play it anymore and it's been this long so let me finish it. But there are obvious rewards for either path, one of the first I could tell was having a gremlin in a catapult and a chest on the switch. Remove the chest and it launches the gremlin, remove the gremlin and it locks the chest. There are times you can just thinner brush most things and it'll show a negative outlook on the world itself. You can either clean up your mess with paint or take out the trash and destroy it like it never happened.

There are a lot of things to collect and I had fun just looking in every corner though I found that they seem kind of half-and-half, some going by the wayside like the pins and some being cool like the concept art.

[dawn-of-tomorrow]

「Thank you, Commandant.」

Time: 2023-08-08

I didn't expect that you and Commandant Simon were planning something to celebrate my "activation day".

Since my body was made by the Ascendants by piecing together the remains of other Constructs, my memory's a bit foggy and I can't remember the exact date I was reconstructed. But when I was filling out my data, the staff said I could pick any date I'd like to celebrate as my birthday instead, so that's what I registered on the form.

So I was honestly surprised that you remembered and even wished me a happy birthday, even though the information I filled in wasn't exactly correct.

Honestly, this was something I should've told you back at the Gray Raven's lounge, but I couldn't say anything at the time.

I didn't realize until now but, because I've gotten so used to just surviving that I've grown accustomed to forgetting about things like birthdays, whether it be my own or others. If you hadn't reminded me, I would've most likely forgotten about it again.

So thank you; for not only remembering this special day, but also for your joy at the birthdate of this sinner.

Does this mean that I've gotten closer to and accepted by you, even just a little bit?

According to the customs of travelling merchants and traders, I should've given you something as a token of my gratitude.

But after picking out my gifts for Commandant Simon, Captain Paloma, and Lillian, I realized I knew practically nothing about you nor what you liked, so I didn't know what to get you.

Though I know there's nothing wrong with gifting someone that's of inherent value, my predecessors have always said that friendship without mutual benefactory is delicate and flawed.

Owing debts to each other is sometimes necessary between people. Good friends will bicker, fight, and then make up afterwards, repeating this cycle again and again. Only with this can we truly let our guards down and become real friends.

But I'm no longer a drifting trader. I wish to stay here, so I won't consider this as a one-time thing.

Can I see you again sometime soon?

I wish to know more about you; not from other people, but from you directly.

And when that time comes, I'll definitely prepare a much better gift for you then-- the gift known as friendship.

Of course, if you'd like to have that moment alone instead, then you can disregard this notebook or even this drawing of a starry sky.

The main reason why I drew it is because I still remember what you said that day.

Additionally: Having said that, I feel a bit embarrassed having given you a couple of useless drawings, so I went out and bought at least a few multivitamin candies since Comnandant Simon said that commandants often use these as diet supplements.

You've been working a lot lately, so it's important to not forget about regularly taking your medicine. Please don't push yourself too hard.

Good night.

From: Noan (message 2)

[marinsawakening]

I'm really not a fan of Impa staying behind in the past at the end of Skyward Sword. Not because I think it's out of character, but because I think it's unsubstantiated.

Impa is a very duty-oriented character, and as such, I think it makes sense for her to prioritize doing her duty over Zelda's feelings. However, what her 'duty' in the past actually is... well. It's a bit lame. The reasons given are as follows:

First: Watching over the Master Sword while the remnants of Demise decay in it, to prevent his reawakening. I think this is lame because, a) we don't have any evidence Impa can do anything to make sure Demise doesn't reawaken in the first place, that seems to be all Fi, and b) realistically, what is Impa gonna do if Demise does reawaken? Impa lost every single fight she had with Ghirahim in canon, and Ghirahim is nothing compared to Demise. And Old Impa couldn't do a thing to stop a weakened version of Demise from escaping his seal. That was a pretty important thing that happened. Three times. Impa absolutely could not take Demise in a fight, not without help. But she destroyed the Gate of Time, and seems to be the only living human left on the Surface; she'd have literally no way of getting help if Demise did awaken. So she's watching over the Master Sword in case Demise reawakens to do... what? Die? This is not a good plan. They could've simply taken the Master Sword back to the future and placed Fi into her pedestal there.

Second: To watch over the Triforce, which is really dangerous and important and must be spirited away after use. Y'know, the same Triforce that sits on the giant statue of the Goddess during the end credit scene. That one. Yeah I sure believe Impa needed to stay in the past and be alone for thousands of years to guard it when Zelda and Link just plop it on the most obvious landmark in a 100 kilometer radius. C'mon now do you really expect me to buy this?

Franklly, Impa staying behind feels like a cheap way to get a plot twist and a death scene in. Which is lame.

Firstly, forcing your plot twists and emotional moments like this undercuts their impact in the narrative. I felt no emotion except maybe vague annoyance during Impa's death scene because it felt so thoroughly unnecessary, and I adore Impa. She is my favourite Skyward Sword character by far and my second favourite LOZ character. If anyone should've gotten emotional here it should've been me, but I wasn't, because this did not feel like a satisfying conclusion to her character. It felt like a cheap moment meant to make me cry.

And second, what does the plot twist that the Old One is Impa actually like... do? The Old One mostly exists to infodump at Link. She displays very little personality, certainly not as much as young Impa (despite her relatively little screentime), so much so that even though I was spoiled for this plot twist, I still had trouble remembering that they were the same character. Knowing that the Old One is Impa does make her relationship to Groose more interesting, I'll give them that, but that alone does not justify such a blatantly forced set-up for the plot twist. The pay-off isn't so good that I can ignore the forced set-up.

The most irritating thing to me is that it really isn't hard to come up with a good reason for Impa to stay in the past. Or at least, it would be if Skyward Sword made literally any effort at all to keep its time travel shenanigans straight. Logically, past!Zelda should still be asleep in the crystal, even though present!Zelda is talking to Impa. If Impa asserted that she had to stay behind to protect Zelda, who is helpless in the crystal if, for example, a past version of Ghirahim decides to try and attack her, I would've bought that. That is a job I could realistically see Impa doing, because even if she's lost fights with Ghirahim before, they've been close enough that I don't doubt she could win under the right circumstances. This is a job that makes sense for her to have. It wouldn't have been my personal preference, I think Impa's arc could've ended far more interestingly if she decided to go to the future after all, but I would've been fine with it.

As it stands, I think the decision to have Impa stay behind in the past is forced and nonsensical. It feels like it's purely there to justify a plot twist and an emotional death scene, which just made me deeply unimpressed by both.

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for helping try and destroy the world (and also lying about it)

(I realize this is absolutely gonna put me on blast in some corners of the multiverse, but I don't think it matters anymore. Anyone who'd know who I am probably hates me already, which is fair.)

OK, so, there's this guy (adult M), we're gonna call him R. I (adult F) met R several years ago, when he got me out of a difficult situation, saving my life in the process. I didn't have anywhere to go and wanted to return the favor, so I decided to travel with him. He was out looking for his fiancee, "E" (adult F), because…I'm still not entirely sure how the whole thing went down, but his dad didn't approve of her, and he was a pretty big deal magically, so he...cursed her, or something like that? And R thought he could find where his dad sent E if he just kept looking for long enough.

Except, that didn't work out. Time passed, R just kept getting sadder and sadder, and I'm not the comforting type, I'm no good at stuff like that, I did my best to help him however I could but he needed E, not me.

There's this super-magical book of prophecies that generations of his family had been guarding, because it contained information on how all worlds were gonna inevitably be destroyed and could kinda kick-start that whole process. I think he thought he might be able to find her location written in there? But either way, he left one day, grabbed the book, and went completely AWOL, deciding that the worlds had no meaning and he was gonna fulfill the world-ending prophecy. I know that sounds bad, but I swear, it was the book that drove him insane, he never would've done anything like that normally! His whole personality changed! I could barely even recognize him! It wasn't his fault OK?!

…Anyway.

R was a magical powerhouse, especially with the book, but I'm more of a specialist. So, we recruited a few people the book mentioned into a small organization to help us. The elevator pitch was that R was gonna destroy the worlds and create better ones in their place, and these guys bought it. They got really excited and were absolutely willing to defend us and help kick the prophecy in gear (because apparently, multiversal annihilation has some weirdly specific prerequisites). R oversaw them, and I did admin work and some HR + recruitment on the side.

Thing is, I knew better the whole time, but I just sort of…let it all happen. I'm not gonna say I didn't do some other pretty nasty stuff, because I did, that's not in question here. But I let these people sincerely believe, with all the enthusiasm in the worlds, that this was for some kind of greater good and that they weren't just leading themselves to their own deaths. I think they even started to think of us all as friends, which I definitely wasn't planning on, but I kept perpetuating this lie and doing my job without saying a word against it, even after I started getting attached.

…Long story short, E wound up still being alive, R got together with her and they stopped the end of the world with the power of true love. Great, I guess, but the circumstances led to them both ending up…somewhere else and I don't think they're ever coming back. I haven't really spoken to my coworkers since then because I don't know how to, and I keep wondering if I could've prevented this whole mess and if he'd still be here if I'd tried a little harder. Should I have made a better argument? Been a better friend to him while he was hurting so he wouldn't have gone for the book? Should I have told the others the truth? Or, his magic is way stronger than mine, but maybe I could've at least tried to overpower him? I don't know. I did try to talk some sense into him once, after we realized E was still alive, but he got really intense about it and I just…caved, because I made a promise to help him and I wasn't about to back out of it.

So, yeah. TL;DR my closest friend went insane and tried to destroy the world, got some innocent people mixed up in it under false pretenses, and I helped/didn't try to stop it, AITA

(And you'd better not go around blaming him for this, OK?)

[italwayshadtobeyou]

It's "DSOTM" for me again. "The Devil You Know" tries to be clever, but its success is intermittent, and it doesn't have the heart that makes "DSOTM" compelling.

First, some good things: The great Mark Sheppard is back as Crowley! I love how, when Crowley hides, he really hides: Squatting in a house with "used contraception in the fireplace" and frying street-level surveillance devices just in case someone at the top is smart enough to tap into them. You don't know how it chafes my logic centers when everyone assumes that supervillains can't use equipment and techniques that are readily available to every deputy sheriff in the U.S.

I like, too, that Crowley has to think about capturing and manipulating Brady: "Nuts at his pay grade don't crack." The later-seasons depiction of earthly torture quickly working on Hell-hardened demons annoys me almost as much as the bad guys' seeming inability to put out a BOLO on a rare muscle car that frequently travels to Sioux Falls.

The episode also demonstrates the truth of one of Sam's bleakest lines, from "When the Levee Breaks": "We were never going to get out. We were never going to be normal." The demons were always going to drag him back in. And even if they didn't, he can't deny Brady's claim that he, himself, is a little more/less than human.

Now, some problems: Angels have some degree of psychic powers, and archangels have even more, as shown by Lucifer's certainty that all paths lead to Detroit. Demons being Lucifer's creation, shouldn't he be able to take one look at Brady and see that he's telling the truth about not belonging to Crowley's "lovers in league against Satan"? Sure, Lucifer might not bother, but what matters is that 1) it's possible and 2) Brady believes that Lucifer cares about his creations.

Sam's response to Brady's goading seems reductive, and kind of a wasted opportunity. Don't get me wrong, he has every reason to feel angry, but he has just as much reason to feel compassion and grief. According to Brady (well, "Brady"), Sam cared enough to spend a lot of time trying to help his friend through a difficult time at Stanford. Presumably, that friend's still trapped in Brady, maybe even aware of what the demon's done with his body. I know that they can't exorcize him, since that would endanger their world-saving plan, but this feels more like the situation with Madison than with Azazel: Sam having to kill another person that he loves. Portraying his killing of both Bradys solely as revenge ignores half the situation's tragedy.

Lastly, I just. Cannot. With Bobby and Crowley's demon deal. No, deals don't require a soul. Azazel demanded John's soul "to sweeten the pot," not as a necessity for Dean's recovery to work. Back in "Crossroad Blues," Dean altered another guy's deal to save his soul, without offering any other to keep the deal's magic running. Bobby and Crowley should be able to seal their "deal" as a gift. This particular continuity error doesn't even advance the plot: The search for Death would've gone exactly the same if Crowley hadn't bought Bobby's soul. Show, why do you do these things to me?

Supernatural Battle of the Episodes!!

Looks like Dark Side of the Moon is the clear winner again! We are all about the bro angst for sure!!

Let's see how it does against this one!

[iichaeyj]

RING MY ALARM . . . !

ferris wheel . . . ! (1.2k)

after yeonjun had sent you the address of where you two were going to meet, you were confused. the location was apparently just a plain field. you had no idea what yeonjun was thinking, but then again, you never did. however, as you walk towards the location, a few streets away, you notice loud sounds coming from the same direction and a ferris wheel in the distance.

it was a traveling fair, like the ones that go from town to town with its rides, games, and food trucks. you hadn't been to one since you were younger, and luckily for you, you had made it just in time, since the fair would be leaving tomorrow.

"so, what do you think?" a very familiar voice speaks from beside you.

you were too focused on the bright lights that adorned all the rides nearby that you hadn't even noticed yeonjun walk up next to you. he had watched you for a moment, taking in the way you looked at everything with such hopeful eyes.

"i think that it actually looks pretty fun," you say, turning to stare at him. taking a second to take him in, you notice that he looked just as excited as you were.

"why do you sound surprised? i'll have you know, i'm very good at making plans," yeonjun says proudly, puffing his chest out.

"i guess i just didn't expect this from a man who i've seen beg me to follow him back on twitter."

"okay, that is entirely different," he says with a small pout, "but come on! we should start heading in now."

yeonjun nods his head towards the entrance, walking into the fair with you following after him.

"so, what should we do first?" he says as he leads you two through the busy crowd and towards the rides.

"and here i thought you had everything planned," you tease as you look between the ferris wheel and the small roller coaster in the distance.

"i'm just letting you decide, sweetheart," he says, giving you a wink. a few weeks ago, you would've rolled your eyes, but you figured that you'd indulge him just this once.

"fine," you say as you look around again. your eyes scan all the games and rides nearby, but you always seem to look back at the ferris wheel. the tall structure stood proudly as the center of the entire fair, grabbing everyone's attention. you hadn't been on one since you were a child, and going on one with someone like yeonjun didn't sound like a bad way to relive that memory.

"i'm guessing you're choosing the ferris wheel, then?" yeonjun asks as he points toward it.

"yeah," you confirm, "but don't we need tickets or something?"

yeonjun nods, getting out two wristbands from his pocket. "i already bought them."

"i can't believe you're spending even more money on me," you huff as you take the wristband that he hands you, "i thought this was supposed to be me paying you for your help."

"you coming out with me today was you're way of paying me," yeonjun shrugs, putting on his wristband.

"there's really no reason for you to be doing all this for me."

"just think of it as special treatment for being the first person i've ever tutored," he says, trying to assure you that everything was being done out of his own free will, and, not that you'd know, also because he had grown to care about you more than he had ever expected. "are you ready to get on the ride now?"

you sigh in defeat, nodding as you finally put on your band. "yep, i'm ready."

yeonjun smiles at you again as he leads the both of you towards and on the ride. you sat across from him, your legs brushing against his in the cramped space.

the ride starts moving and you watch as you get lifted higher off the ground. the people start becoming less identifiable and the city lights become more visible. you could see up to miles away by the time you got to the top of the ride.

you hear a small laugh come from right in front of you, to which you turn to see yeonjun taking a picture of you.

"i'm sorry, you just looked like a little kid with the way you were practically pressing your face against the glass," he teases, looking at the pictures he took.

"i did not," you roll your eyes, moving to sit next to him and grab his phone to see the pictures. "okay, maybe i did a little."

however, as you were scrolling through the pictures he had taken without you noticing, yeonjun had become incredibly aware of how close you two were now. the sole fact that you chose to sit next to him despite how small the little booth you two were in was, was enough to make him grow conscious of everything.

he had tried not to dwell on the fact that you two were out together by yourselves, too afraid that he'd start stuttering and acting like a clutz the moment he would realize he really was alone with you. he felt like a teenager who was experiencing his first crush (although, taehyun would surely say that that wasn't an inaccurate description).

as the ride begins to move again and you two were heading down, you notice the number of rings coming from yeonjun's phone you hadn't noticed before. you look outside and notice a few people looking at the two of you.

"well, aren't you popular," you tease as you hand yeonjun his phone.

yeonjun lets out a small breath he hadn't noticed he was holding, his face a bit flushed. "i guess i'm just too charming," he jokes, trying to regain his composure that he, once again, managed to lose around you.

you smile at his cheeky reply, having gotten used to this side of him. you step out of the little carriage you were in as soon as the ride stops, followed by yeonjun who seemed to be avoiding eye contact with you right now.

you stare at him weirdly. "are you alright?" you ask, noticing his unusually silent demeanor.

"yeah, i'm fine," he says as he clears his throat. he finally looks back at you, noticing the way you were looking at him with a hint of concern in your eyes. that was enough to make his heart flutter again.

"why don't we do something else now," yeonjun says as he tries to change the topic. he looks around and settles on a game booth nearby. "how about that? we can have a friendly competition."

you look behind him at the booth that was filled with prizes and a bored looking employee. "sure," you say as you look back at the other, "i bet you that i'll win, though."

"we'll see about that," he retorts, giving you his signature smirk. finding his confidence again, he reaches out his hand towards you and looks at you expectantly.

you let out a small sigh, a small gracing your face as you take it and let him lead you towards the game. after all, it wouldn't hurt if you indulge him again, just for today.

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[leam1983]

On Yuletide Gags

I don't know how I feel about the trend of sourcing the box of some expensive piece of tech from somewhere and stuffing it with purely didactic stuff for the kids...

I get it, some of us aren't really able to afford even those more accessible of consumer electronics, the chip shortage being what it is, but when my parents felt like pulling an Xmas fakeout, they at least had the decency to do it the other way around...

What's better, to spend weeks getting unreasonably hyped about something your relatives never had any intention to buy you, or to stew in apprehension for just as long in the expectation of something that's been sold to you as unbearably shitty, only to open that box and actually find something neat inside?

As that's what my parents did to me, as a kid. I forget in which year of the nineties it happened - likely around 1992, seeing as I was still fairly young - but Mom and Dad spent weeks giving me straight-faced guff about having bought a rock-counting game for me, and I essentially lived in mortal fear of what waited for me under the Christmas tree.

Come the big morning, I woke up at the ass-crack of dawn and politely followed the family policy of each of us opening a gift at a time in a clockwise order, all the while stewing in anticipation of that one circular, weirdly heavy box under the tree. When it came up, I realized my parents had cut up store catalog images and background pieces to put the cover of a fictitious game together, titled Count the Rocks.

I was fuming. I'd never made any concrete demands, but I expected there'd be at least one major gift along with a few utilitarian ones, like basic clothing items or packaged appointment cards announcing I'd get a new pair of prostheses in X months. I would've even taken erasers and pencils, honestly.

My parents are split in two and are trying to get me to open the modded cookie tin. I shake it instead, feeling a few small pebbles jostle around in there, with something bigger blocking their travel. I give in with a grunt, open the tin, and find what was likely the Tengen release of the NES' version of Gauntlet - I don't remember exactly and I'll definitely have to fact-check with the folks. In any case, it was a lot better than rocks.

Compare and contrast with today's pranks that keep flooding my socials. "Ooooh, psyche! You thought you were getting a PS5 or a Switch, huh? Well, howsabout the rest of winter's school supplies stuffed in a PS5 box borrowed from someone else?! Gotcha, son! Bwahahahahahahahaha!"

That's just cruel, as far as I'm concerned. I'm not in favor of setting unrealistic expectations, obviously, but if I had serious doubts as to my ability to source a hot commodity for Crimbo, I'd tell my hypothetical kid and I'd strongly urge them to review their gift list. I'd want them to be happy and if that means getting something that's within my ability to get as earnestly as I can, then that's what I'd do.

It also goes hand-in-hand with a weird trend I'm seeing, where parents act like they're absolutely desperate for their kids to start acting like adults. I'm not referring to late teens or even twentysomethings in need of a bit of a reality check - as those do exist - but children. Kids. What's an eight year-old going to do with school supplies; he doesn't have the emotional maturity needed to process how that's probably the callous, pragmatic and honestly heartless thing to do!

Christmas isn't about fucking pragmaticism, it's about telling your kids you love them to bits - within your budget's constraints. If you can't afford toys, tech or clothes, give them experiences. I'm a grown-ass adult and my parents got me a dog-sledding course scheduled for this February. I am fucking stoked. In return, I bought them a four-day stay at a local Scandinavia-themed hotel, spa and resort, without knowing what they had planned. They've had to scrap two consecutive reservations in Mexico thanks to COVID, so I figured I'd bite the bullet and get them something local that can actually be carried out in accordance with the local sanitary restrictions.

School supplies for Christmas... I mean, come on!

[fireemblems24]

I am so glad you pointed out the imperialist vibes Edelgard has sometimes. As someone who lives in a country who was basically occupied ahem conquered because they said "we have better ideas that will improve your lives" and had our culture absolutely shattered, one of the main reasons why I disagree with Edelgard so much is because of that. She thinks her point of view is superior and the most morally right and I really don't like it whenever she sounds so confused about people defending their homeland. Especially that one line she has with Dimitri in Chapter 17 ffffff—

Like, girl, they have the fucking right to disagree with you please stop sounding so confused as to why they can't see eye to eye with you gahhhhh

I would be more tolerant with the war if she had say, did diplomacy before it? But she tried to had Dimitri and Claude killed in Part I (the prologue). I would also understand her better if the war was a last resort and the other leaders were corrupt and all that. But they're not. Many of the students (who have power because many are noble heirs) outside her house are heavily affected by the nobility and Crests (Sylvain, Ingrid, Mercedes, Lysithea, etc.) or at least understanding of the problems caused by them (Dimitri). It's so frustrating how so much of this can be prevented if she just talked about it.

Also, to those who said she wants the change to be quick, even with war it won't be. The fucking war basically caused continent-wide damage. It's going to be so hard to actually fix this. Hell, there's definitely going to be an eventual rebellion by former Kingdom / Alliance people or sympathisers. It's not going to be as clean cut as the game or some pro-Edelgard people make it to be. Not everyone is going to agree with her, whether she takes over or not. She just destroyed the stability of the continent and while yes, she can rebuild it again, it will still take time and who's to say future leaders won't be corrupt? Also, a hierarchy will always exist, whether she likes it or not. Especially if she plans to set up a meritocracy. Meritocracy is going to usually end up giving power and privilege to those with already pre-existing privilege as they the opportunity to show off their merits or develop those skills. Poor and disabled people are going to have difficulty as they don't have equal opportunity to develop skills and accomplish stuff. I'm generalising, but it just ends up as a hierarchy, again. Not only that, it also has ways to enforce discrimination.

Basically, what I'm trying to say is, she needs to long term plan out her systems. I apologise since I have bad memory but as far as I remember, the game doesn't give us too many details on how she wants to establish her system. All I remember is she does the war > Church / Rhea out of power > Establish her government > ???. Someone please clear this up for me because I'm confused.

...and again really, diplomatic reforms are an option. Yes, they're much more tedious. Yes, they take so much more longer. Yes, sometimes it feels impossible to accomplish. But did she not even consider it as an option?

All in all, I do like Edelgard. But I really wish the game let us go against her while we're with her? I wish it wasn't just general "agree with Edelgard" for CF. I remember someone pointing it out to me before that it would've been really great if she had someone in her house who does the same role Felix does in AM... which is basically disagree and call out the lord's shit. And they pointed out Ferdinand could've probably been that character for CF. And I kinda agree? I really think CF would immensely improve if Edelgard had a challenger / foil to her beliefs similar to how Felix does that for Dimitri.

Anyway, sorry for the very long ask lol. I like Edelgard and I agree with some of her morals and ideals such as the crest system being bad but....she's done so dirty asdfghjkl. I do think she's written well enough to incite these emotions in me, and she makes for a good antagonist. As a protagonist lord however.... yeah.

First off, sorry it took so long to respond, but I wanted to give an equally throughout response. 

While I haven’t gotten to chapter 17 yet, I can attest to the notion that Edelgard’s rhetoric is eerily similar to Imperialist propaganda. I do understand this is fiction, and that it’s okay to hand-wave/enjoy things in fiction that you shouldn’t or wouldn’t in real life. Crimson Flower has its charms and parts I enjoy. Edelgard is an interesting character more hampered by things that plague Three Houses as a whole than anything else, but it’s still worth examining how dangerous her rhetoric is. Because, unlike you, my country sits at the opposite end - the Imperialist nation selling that rhetoric to its citizens, and, unfortunately, at the time I bought it - which makes me really sensitive to this. 

I’m from the US and I’m specifically speaking about the US’s invasion of the Middle East. I was in middle or high school, just barely a teenager, and naive and ignorant enough to believe what my leaders said. Because guess what? I bought into it out of misplaced and ignorant (and racist) compassion. I was horrified at the idea these people were suffering unfairly just because of where they were born whereas I got all these promised privileges just because of where I was born. I really thought the US would go in there and give them democracy and everything would be great. Looking back, I realize they were lying, that we’ve only made things worse, that it’s horribly racist to assume the US was just inherently better, and I’ve sense then gained access to fast-speed internet, traveled, matured, etc . . . and thankfully this all happened before I had any actual power to do anything like vote. But to this day I’m beyond pissed off they used my own compassion against me to line their own pockets. It was ignorant and racist, but it was all based in concern that others didn’t have the same quality of life I had and a growing realization of my own privilege. And that’s what I hate so much. It didn’t sound evil. It sounded good. It used people’s good will and compassion against them and twisted it into evil for their own causes. 

I don’t think Edelgard is after Faerghus and the Alliance because she wants oil. I think she honestly thinks she’s doing good. And, if this were real life, I think that makes her rhetoric even more dangerous than a corrupt politicians’.  Because everything else is still the same. She’s being ignorant, nationalist instead of racist in this case, and honestly thinks her moral superiority will improve everyone’s lives even if it means ravaging the entire content in war. She is dangerously naive and ignorant. 

Maybe I’d support her more morally if I believed for an instant the general populace welcomed the changes she wants to bring, if the leaders she fought against weren’t open and wanting change themselves, ect . . . But the dialogue indicated her presence inspires people running and screaming in terror, not welcoming her presence (see the chapter where you kill Claude). The Kingdom is still fighting tooth and nail against her. She’s not supported. Her changes aren’t wanted. And she hasn’t bothered to learn a single thing about the cultures she’s determined to squash under her heal nor the leaders heading them. 

I also think I’d support her better if we had a clearer idea of what her plans were. But CF has shifted from Edelgard speaking about interesting ideas and classism to evil dragon overlords and chastising Byleth for making her blush. The decision to side with her or Rhea is not choosing between two ideals, but an emotional, spur of the moment thing. Edelgard’s early supports with Byleth attempt to convince the player to side with her not based on political ideals, but on feeling sorry for her. 

CF gives you no choice but to agree with everything Edelgard says (as you said, there’s no “Felix” or a “Lorenz”). It wants you to support her war without question, and therefore you don’t get any answers to questions like - if this is really just about Rhea, why are we invading the Alliance? Because they won’t hand power over to you? Why didn’t you just stick to the Empire to enact your changes? In the end, you’re left with what sounds more and more like an entitled Imperialistic princess with absolutely no idea how ignorant she is hell bent on conquering what she thinks belongs to her based on a conspiracy theory. 

All that said, I do think Edelgard has interesting ideas and isn’t wholly wrong, just how she goes about it is horribly wrong. And I fully believe the core issue is how CF has dropped the ball big time writing wise, because diving deeper into her ideas and not her crush on you would go a long way. So would shifting the narrative away from evil boogey dragon lady must die and everyone else is wrong and I am superior and right and more towards a clashing of ideals, this route could’ve been a lot more and seemed a lot less ignorant, naive, entitled, and Imperialistic. 

[phantom-wolf]

Day 8: Pirates and Cowboys

Old life, New Beginning

A/N: I'm going to put content warnings in the tags and also before the story just in case

For @usukweek

Content warnings: character held captive/ prisoner, mentions of robbery, use of guns, mention of insects, 10 year age gap, minor character death, suggestive themes 

Summary: In 1875, Arthur Kirkland decides to travel to Europe. On his journey the ship he's on is attacked by pirates. Lo and behold one of those pirates is Alfred Jones.

You can also read it here:

A familiar four clicks accompanied the movement of his thumb as the hammer of the single action was cocked. A spatter of blood and gore soon accentuated the deck as one of the pirates took the bullet that tore from the blond's revolver. He instinctually ducked as bullets whistled by and nearly found their mark. The only thing roaring in his ears was the sound of his own heartbeat, unimpeded by gunfire but rather spurned to a faster beat as adrenaline flooded his senses. The ringing in his ears that would've been acknowledged by a novice went unnoticed.  Fragments of wood dispersed as bullets embedded themselves into the deck and masts of the ship. 

The male found himself in a less than ideal position, forced to take cover in a location that left his rear exposed and able to be flanked. He couldn't afford to let his attention divert to this fact in the chaos of battle. All he could do was hope that the others could fend off the invaders and that there was no second point of entry. Another click distinguishable from the sound of the hammer was audible as the last chamber of the Peacemaker was emptied. Instead of wasting time reloading he reached for the second gun in its holster, a relatively newer Smith and Wesson model three he had bought off someone whose name he couldn't recall. Before he could properly grip and raise the weapon he sensed a presence behind him and felt metal dig into the back of his head. Instinctually he froze and mentally cursed himself for acknowledging the weakness while doing nothing to prevent it. 

"Hand away from your weapon."

Weighing his options he complied, slowly feeling himself relax as the barrel was removed from the back of his head. He turned to face the perpetrator, sizing him up, taking note of his broader figure, dirty blond hair and estimating his age to be in his thirties before his focus shifted to looking down the barrel of the weapon. A gleeful delight overcame him, a catalyst for confidence whereas in a different situation he may not have had. There wasn't a round chambered in the barrel. His eyes flicked to the other man's blue ones before a laugh escaped his lips full of contempt and amusement, the tension in his shoulders relaxing as the fear drained from him.  Pointedly he stated "If you're going to be aiming a weapon at someone it should be loaded." 

His attacker had enough common sense to look slightly embarrassed, eyes widening slightly before narrowing once more, his finger curling tighter around the trigger and his thumb brushing against the hammer of his revolver in an attempt to regain control of the situation "There are five rounds, all it takes is a quick rotation of the cylinder. So I suggest you cooperate."

The pirates' attempt wielded no fruit as another snicker left the other's mouth." This was poorly planned on your part. If I was a- duller gentleman what would stop me from pulling my secondary and shooting you on the spot?" 

The pirate looked affronted. "The fact that by the time you would've pulled it out I would've taken the end of this weapon and hit you over the head. Or simply pulled back the hammer a few times and shot you before you could me." Arthur could see the stranger practically bristling as he continued. "Anyway, what's wrong with you? Who decides to look down the barrel of a gun pointed at them?!" To his utmost amusement he could hear the man murmur under his breath about how in all the years- 

"You're confident in your abilities I'll give you that. And you're lucky I'm no gunslinger." Arthur started, peeking over the barrel that served as cover and scanning the deck for any other resistance from the other crew members of the merchant ship. Finding none he decided not to risk being shot by the thieves who had boarded during their conversation. It had seemed the victors were decided. "To answer your question, a very clever man."

"Or a very stupid one" The pirate grumbled and narrowed his eyes, giving him a glance over before stopping on his face. Despite the now rather medium length beard that accompanied his features and some grey poking through his wild blond hair he could see a multitude of things flash through the other's expression, the two most prevalent being surprise then recognition. 

"You're- Arthur Kirkland." 

Arthur let another curse leave his lips not caring enough to hide his rather foul mouth as the stranger shouted to the others and he was guided on board the pirate's ship. 

--

Now he found himself imprisoned aboard some ship he knew nothing about. A rich orange light filtered in through a circular window of some kind, slowly retracting and leaving strange shadows in its wake as the sun started to set. Left to his own thoughts for entertainment, he mulled over the irony of the situation and mused that if he had wanted to be in a cell he would've walked himself into the local sheriff's office. He mindlessly swatted festering insects away as they found their way into his holding through the opening, torn between being grateful for the ventilation while also loathing it for being an easy access point for flies. He'd come acquainted to the soft creaking of wood and boisterous voices above drowning in whatever alcohol they could scrounge up. Several days, ten since his capture and a few days on board his previous vessel had granted him the mercy of letting him adjust himself to the sway of the waves underneath them. His body ached and he wasn't sure if it was from the hard floor below him or from the moisture that was in the air. It was however a definite reminder that he wasn't as young as he used to be.

 A nearer, heavier creak caught his attention and he turned his head to the source spotting a silhouette in the doorway. With the illumination of the kerosene lamp his visitor clutched he could make out the details of a familiar figure. Deeming him as non hostile he relaxed and decided to greet his company. "Come here for free entertainment? If you did I apologize. I'm not very interesting."

"I came here to give you some food"  The familiar voice of the pirate who had found him in the first place spoke. "And to deliver some news. As for that second part we both know that's not true."

At the announcement of food Arthur sat upright and moved to the bars. "We'll thank you for the compliment" He murmured more focused on what the other carried then the conversation. He kept his composure despite the rumbling of his stomach, stamping down any ebbing curiosity that threatened to reveal itself. News was an inconsistency in routine that had been made over the past several days and frankly he wasn't sure if he wanted to know what that meant.  "What is it this time?"

"Some dried beef and some beer today." 

A little humorous and witty remark rolled off his tongue easily."You pirates' meals are quite bland, you know that don't you Alfred?" 

Sensing the humor in his words Alfred chuckled. Somehow he managed to juggle the beer, meat and lamp by keeping the drink close to his body with his arm and gripping the wrapped cloth that had the dried meat with the same hand, letting the other carry the light source."You're lucky you're not eating the biscuits. The bugs like to make their homes there."

At that Arthur grunted, disgusted but not surprised. "The bugs make their homes everywhere. It doesn't surprise me they are embedded in your food as well."

"Your food now." Alfred responded with a light hearted grin deciding to take the lasting conversation as an invitation to stay. He'd done this every time he brought food and drink. Arthur held no hostility to him, not minding the company either. Afterall, if he had been in the pirates' place he would've done the same thing. Extra money wasn't something that was stumbled upon frequently. He supposed he should even be grateful that Alfred hadn't decided to shoot him right then and there. Although conversing with the man led to one of the answers he was searching for. Turns out Alfred didn't like to kill civilians if he didn't need to. At the time he had figured the situation was under control and sensing the opportunity for an ambush had done so. He'd much rather use intimidation tactics to manipulate the situation. What the quartermaster hadn't realized was that the newest edition to the crew, Jackson had been shot until after. These things tend to get lost in the chaos of gunfire and screaming. 

The lamp was set down as a hand slipped between the bars with the cured meat clutched in it, which he eagerly took and was soon followed by the beer. He knew it was beneficial to them to keep him alive, however that was a very...broad term. He doubted the bounty poster specified that he had to be in pristine condition to claim the reward. So he was happy to accept some of the more quality food. 

They stayed in silence for a few moments, Arthur slowly tackling the meat and washing it down with beer until Alfred broke it. "You're to be brought up to the deck today".  

Upon hearing those words Arthur nearly choked on the beef, managing to swallow without incident. "What?" 

Alfred shrugged nonchalantly, although had appeared concerned when the other almost choked. "I did say I had news for you."

"You could've mentioned it earlier!" 

"Yeah I guess so. But then you wouldn't have eaten, insisting to go now. This way you have energy. So finish your food and then I'll bring you up." 

Arthur seeing no other option simply ate a little faster. 

---

Arthur was grateful for the sun's position upon stepping out onto the deck for the relative lack of light. He was sure if the sun had been higher an unforgiving headache would've blossomed behind his eyes at the sudden influx of light. His joints popped from the exercise he found himself able to partake in. It felt nice after being confined to a small cell for a little over a week. He was still weary however. Years of experience had taught him that nothing was easy in this world. Nothing was given, everything came with a price. Not even stealing was without its dues. This situation was quite the reminder. 

He sensed Alfred's eyes on him and turned to look at him. It was at this moment Alfred spoke up. "Captain Williams wants to talk to you." 

There it was. "Oh? And why's that?" 

"That's something you'll have to ask him yourself. But don't worry! Whatever it is, it will be alright. After all, you got me on your side! I'll do my best to protect you!"

Arthur raised an eyebrow at this statement dubiously. "My hero" he retorted with a roll of his eyes, sarcasm dripping from his words. 

Alfred seemed to brighten up at that not seeming to either notice or care that it had been sarcasm. Not wanting to ruin the man's mood, Arthur wordlessly followed Alfred to the Captain's quarters. Williams was waiting for them, looking up as the door opened and Alfred greeted him. "Mr. Kirkland" Was the simple greeting he'd received. At least the captain seemed to hold a little respect for him. 

Arthur gave a small nod of his head, tilting his hat in recognition. "Captain Williams. To what do I owe the pleasure?" He asked hoping his sarcasm from earlier didn't bleed into the words for his own sake. When he locked eyes with the older man's brown ones he was met by a stare not so unfamiliar. Experienced, calculating, straight to business. A non verbal and pointed reminder to not cross the pirate captain. He met the challenge with his own confidence only tempered as to not get on the man's bad side. 

"A deal has been made between myself and Jones. You'll be considered part of the crew and will fill in for the member you shot and killed.  During this time you will not take a cut of any bounty we receive until the price on your head is paid in full." The captain responded. "You may discuss Jones's part of the deal on your own time with him." 

It didn't seem like he had much of a choice in the matter. Very well- he'd chose limited freedom to a cell any day. "Thank you" He said mustering up as much sincerity as he could and giving Alfred a side glance. 

Alfred gave him a faint smile quickly tilting his head to motion for them to depart, thanking his captain as he did so and turning to leave the cabin. Arthur spun on his heel but before he could take a step forwards William's voice rang out again. "Oh and Kirkland, if I hear any stray word about a mutiny that has passed from your lips. I'll take your tongue."

A small sly smirk threatened to etch itself across his lips however he was smart enough to keep himself straight faced. Of the same breed indeed. "I would never even consider doing such a thing" He responded turning his head to make eye contact with the one in charge. "Thank you for your mercy, Captain. I will serve you well." 

"You better. You're a three hundred dollar investment." 

---

Once they were back out onto the deck a peaceful silence fell between them, Arthur relishing in his new found freedom of sorts and Alfred undecided if he should interrupt the quiet. The sun had long departed by now, leaving the celestial bodies of the stars and moon to paint the night in light. The waves below reflected this light, swirling it in unpredictable patterns before being swallowed by the depths and replaced. The temperature had dropped a few degrees but neither seemed too affected by it. The silence was broken by Alfred who found himself uncomfortable with it. "What was being a cowboy like?" He finally blurted. 

Arthur looked at him startled out of his thoughts at the outburst. "Did the stories I told you when you visited with food not paint a good picture?"

"They did. I just wanted to know if you had more" Alfred responded embarrassed with himself, a  faint red painting his cheeks and the tips of his ears. "Sounds pretty fun." 

Arthur grunted graciously deciding not to comment on how red the other got.  He took a moment to think of his response wording it in a way as to not get too personal. "Fun isn't what I'd describe it as. It's hard work as many things are in life. You have to be observant, be able to think on your feet. A thousand pound animal isn't going to stop stampeding because you told it to. Then combine that with upwards of a thousand other animals of the same size and the horses you're riding on top of it. It definitely makes for a good excuse to always be on guard. But generally things didn't get too exciting. The only 'exciting' thing I could count on daily was the game of: will I get bit by a snake when I get off my horse to take a piss and die a few hours later? Or on a more rare occasion, if bandits would be stupid enough to try to rob us. The real fun happened once we arrived in town after a successful transfer of cattle. Once we arrived we had to load the cows into a train cart then we got paid. After going a few weeks without a bath or proper entertainment I'm sure you can imagine what happened at the saloons" the wink accompanying that statement  went unnoticed. "I'm sure you can relate to such sentiments out at sea yourself. Minus the snakes of course". 

Truthfully Alfred enjoyed hearing Arthur tell his stories. He'd get so enthralled as he talked about his past experiences, spoke with a passion that let Alfred know that Arthur had enjoyed the job. It was one of the times where Arthur became truly expressive, a little less on guard. When Arthur got going his words painted such clear imagery that Alfred hadn't needed to be there to feel like he experienced it. Admittedly as much as he enjoyed hearing him talk in this moment he got… distracted. He accidently ended up staring at his lips briefly, wondering how they'd feel pressed against his own then dismissing the idea and blaming it on the fact he hadn't had much company lately. He blinked shaking his head of any stray thoughts and cleared his throat. It caught Arthur's attention but when he didn't say anything the cowboy now turned pirate continued. 

"I worked in the northern plains. Montana actually. So it has taken me a while to get here. The local deputies and pinkertons had started poking around on a lead that someone matching Arthur Kirkland's description was in town. Some folk from the East must've recognized me while I was celebrating a successful drive. Upon seeing the unwanted attention I decided that frankly I have been chased enough to last a lifetime and thus my decision to come to Europe. Offered the merchant ship my gun if anything were to happen and some cash as well. However nothing is ever that simple clearly." 

He partially processed the others words, nodding along but was too distracted giving the other a once over to truly hear what was being spoken. The older man's attire alone stuck out now that he had been declared part of the crew. The Englishman had a white, tall crowned hat with a narrow brim that was curled upwards on the sides. He adorned a navy pullover shirt made of cotton with a black vest made of the same material. He also wore grey wool pants with an additional layer of fabric to reinforce the seams. Of course his clothing wasn't in pristine condition, various stains and the occasional stitch from where it had been mended littered the outfit. They'd taken away the black bandana that had originally been tied around his neck, fearful that it may be used as a weapon against one of the crew or himself. 

"Wait a minute Arthur. I'll be right back" Alfred chirped, turning to head underneath the deck and deeper into the ship. Arthur watched him go before turning his attention back to the ocean, focusing on the feeling of the breeze in his face and the sound of crashing waves that surrounded the ship. 

Alfred returned with his bandana in tow holding it out and offering it to him. Afterall with the freedom now granted if Arthur wanted to, he'd have better things to use against them than a bandana.  "You will probably need some new clothes more suitable for the sea. But for now we can't buy anything since we aren't in port and we technically aren't making anything off the next several exchanges-"

"We?"

"Oh right! I gave up my cut as well until your bounty is paid off and the credit makes a profit. Technically I promised them six hundred dollars so we're going to be living on some scraps for a while."

Arthur raised an eyebrow in suspicion and curiosity, cocking his head as he looked back to Alfred."Why go through all the trouble to save me?"

Alfred gave a disarming half smile upon sensing the others suspicion trying to prove he had no ulterior motives and a shrug. Sure he found him attractive but that was not why he saved him. "There's something about you I like. You're clearly clever, a hard worker and we needed a new member of the crew. And I think you have a story to be told. Would be a shame if it were to end prematurely." 

"Don't we all have a story to tell-" He murmured, shifting his body to lean against the closest mast of the ship and crossing his arms as he was securely balanced. "And you didn't take any of the crew from the merchant ship?" 

"We offered but they declined." 

Arthur gave a hmph of disbelief. Pirate's tended not to give people many choices. The two options usually consisted of join their crew or die which brought the next question to mind. "Are they fish food now?" 

"No, we let them go." Alfred responded. When Arthur proceeded to stare at him with his eyebrows raised for further explanation he continued. "Captain Williams tries to avoid casualties where they can be avoided. He also doesn't like to take people who are likely to turn tail at the slightest hint of freedom. Took a lot of convincing to get him to accept you for that reason. As for your job on the ship you'll have to learn how to rig the sails and some level of carpentry. If those aren't your thing perhaps you could help the doc out and learn from him- or maybe the cook." 

The older male took a minute to digest this information weighing the situation. He supposed it would've worked better for him if they had been killed. There would've been fewer loose ends, less mouths to talk if the wrong parties came looking. Oh well. "And for your information I do know some carpentry and my way around a needle. Ropes shouldn't be an issue either although you'll have to teach me any particular knots you use." 

"Good and no problem. Isaiah is the ship master. He can show you some duties and I'll also be helping out when I can. The others will also show you how we operate if neither of us are available.  We all have a part to play after all. In reality most of our time is spent on ship maintenance."

Arthur couldn't help but be curious."You're going to have to be more specific when you mention maintenance because frankly I have no idea what that entails."

 Alfred paused mentally counting off, his fingers moving from a curled position to straight as he counted with them before disregarding whatever he had been doing. "Cleaning the decks, checking rigging and ropes, checking for any potential leaks or holes and repairing them. You also eventually may get to make sure everything on the gun deck is properly stored and cleaned- just to name a few. Oh and did I mention cleaning bird shit off the deck?" 

"Sounds-" a pause and despite not trying to be rude he couldn't exactly color himself enthusiastic at the prospect "...delightful. When do I begin?" 

Alfred looked smug, probably happy that some of the more unpleasant tasks were going to be now dished out to the newest member of the crew. With a clap on the other's shoulder he chirped "Your duties start right now!". With that he began to back away towards the stairs leading to the lower decks. 

"Wait where are you going?!" 

"I'm going to sleep. Isaiah is at the stern. I'll see you in the morning!" 

"Where's the stern?!" Arthur called letting his frustration seep out through his words, scowling at the retreating pirate's back. "What does Isaiah look like?" 

"Guess you'll have to figure that out yourself. Goodnight Arthur!"

Cheeky bastard. He didn't even get to shave. 

---

Both their hands were calloused, jagged chunks carved out of them from one experience or another. The years had only added to the collection of scars and disfigurations. The black bandana that had first accompanied the cowboy-ex-outlaw-pirate was now draped over one of each of their hands, both using their free hand to knot the material and bind themselves together. Together, promising to watch over each other despite what altercations that could find themselves apart of. In life and death they'd take care of one another. 

A cheer arose from their spectators as mugs were risen and beer sloshed onto the floor which would promptly have to be scrubbed later. "How about that Mr. Outlaw. You're now properly married to a pirate however fitting that may be."

"Cowboy" Arthur corrected. "I prefer cowboy although, I suppose neither occupation is particularly civilized. And the correct term is matelotage." 

"He does learn! Would you look at that" came a playful quip from one of the crew members. 

"I've learned quite well. It's you who still gets confused when I rattle off cowboy terms at you." A flippant and well timed reply caused snickers to erupt amongst the band of people gathered around. 

Alfred decided to interrupt after chuckling to himself. "Arthur I don't think there's a single civilized thing about you" earning a playful eye roll in response. 

"I don't think either of us have ground to talk" Arthur hummed giving him a small smile. The newly wedded partook in the drinking activities and celebration for a little while until Arthur directed a suggestive and flirtatious wink towards his beloved, earning him a smirk. To further drive his intentions he gave a slight tug on their bound hands. "Boys, thank you for the celebration but I suggest you clear out of the cabins for a while. Enjoy your drinks!" 

---

Alfred found himself ahead of Arthur, deciding to clear some of the rooms up ahead, his gun raised as he did so. Upon entering one he was thrown off balance as someone barreled into him from a blindspot. He stumbled but caught himself, his body twisting to take the brunt of it as his back collided with the wall and he tried to throw off his attacker. They struggled for a brief moment until Alfred found himself a second too slow. A sudden crack filled the space as the weapon was brought down against his head. A sharp pain rattled his skull causing him to fall forward as the stranger stepped away. He nearly face planted onto the wooden floor only managing to distribute some of the weight with his hands, his jaw hitting the floor and causing his teeth to clack together. He helplessly watched his weapon clang as it hit the floor and bounced out of reach. He doubted it would be of much use to him anyway with the way his vision was doubled and the room was spinning. He let out a groan as everything slowly became bearable, rolling into his side to look up at who had ambushed him. 

His attacker stood over him, weapon drawn and pointing at him. Perhaps this was karma for being over confident. In a final act of bravado and defiance he stared at the other man, their gazes interlocked. His pain only manifested through a clenched jaw and partially squinted eyes, managing a cold but accepting smile. "You know I don't like killing civilians. If I were you I'd stand down." Whether the next unfolding of events was pure luck or divine intervention he wasn't sure. An echoing boom sounded from the hallway ripping through the relative quiet of the lower decks. His attacker slumped lifelessly and collapsed partially on him before he could scramble out of the way. He blinked, staring at the corpse before his attention was caught by approaching footsteps. 

"Unfortunately for you, I don't share such qualms" The familiar accented voice of Arthur sounded. 

Alfred scooted away from the body, a relieved smile tugging on his lips and letting his tense body now relax. Needing a reprieve from the close encounter he decided to diffuse the situation with humor. "Took you long enough. I got a smack to the head thanks to you" He said no malice or bite to his words just teasing affection. Feeling the adrenaline leave him and feeling safe with Arthur's presence he took a breath and leaned back, closing his eyes. 

"You're gonna get a smack on your arse if you keep it up" The other fired back, relief flooding his voice as he moving over him and crouched beside him to inspect the wound on his head. Deciding that nothing could be done here he placed a hand on the other cheek, encouraging him to open his eyes. "You need to get up Al" He murmured, standing up to a more appropriate height to help him up. He outstretched a hand expectantly. 

"That sounds kind of hot Arthur" He teased indeed, opening his eyes and taking his cowboy's hand. Once up he felt the others hand on his back to support him. He gave a grateful smile before wincing and running his hand over his left temple to see if there was any blood. Thankfully there wasn't. 

"We'll try it sometime if you'd like. But for now let's focus on the task at hand. Just because I'll get your cut if you were to die does not mean I want you dead. Let's get you back to the ship to be looked at by Johnson." 

"We need to-"

"The others have everything under control. You're going to the ship. End of discussion." 

Alfred decided not to waste the energy with arguing especially because Arthur was right. He took half a step, stumbling as his vision doubled again. At that Arthur pressed against his side and wrapped an arm around his shoulders for some extra support. "Thank you" he whispered, enjoying the others' warmth. His thoughts were interrupted by a gentle kiss to the right temple. 

"A reminder not to go too far ahead alone next time."

"Of course my love" He agreed. When they reached the doorway sunlight flooded Alfred's vision. He hissed squeezing his eyes closed upon finding a newfound sensitivity to the light. Arthur paused and shifted around a moment before he felt something pressed to the top of his head. He opened his eyes slowly, the sunlight limited by the narrow brimmed hat on his head. It was a little small but it would do. Alfred found himself grateful for the fact Arthur incorporated his old attire with a more seaworthy one. 

--- 

All Alfred knew was that the sensation of having Arthur over him, the other pinning his arms above his head while their lips captured each other's hungrily was addicting. No matter how many times they'd done it for the past few years, it always managed to thrill him to no end. The way their bodies arched into one another, lips worshiping and marking everywhere they possibly could. And afterwards basking in glory as they settled down from their escapades. Surely they realized that with the life they lead they sacrificed the longevity of it to do so. But they could at least enjoy each other until the end of it. 

[punkscowardschampions]

Jac & Amelia

Jac: So, you got your room 🙌 What other wins did freshers bring you? 😄 Amelia: Yeah, thank god Amelia: it's been full on enough without adding travel sickness Jac: Never going to fly when class starts either Jac: it's just slightly more inventive than coming down with the 'flu' every Monday morning, but not enough Amelia: bit intense to start crashing on my new friends floors too, I don't want to be THAT gay Jac: 😂 Jac: I doubt they'd mind Jac: but having a base that isn't totally covered in crochet decor is a plus Amelia: now that freshers is over and they're going to 🤞 they never see those hook ups again maybe Amelia: still, not the first impression I'm trying to make Jac: Oh God, tell me about it Jac: I am not trying to have people I've got to avoid for the next 7 odd years Jac: not trying to make it like home like that Amelia: very relatable Amelia: even though I have no need to count that high Jac: Is your course 3? or 4? Amelia: depends if I want to go to Canada, Denmark, Italy, Poland, Sweden, USA or the UK for a year Jac: Oh wow Jac: 🦪 Amelia: that emoji is the gayest Amelia: so yeah probably Jac: Very O'Keefe of you Jac: can't give up the 🎨 quite yet? Amelia: 😂 Jac: I've met THE perfect girl for you, oh my GOD Amelia: because I'm going to travel to Edinburgh for 🦪 after dodging a 3 hour commute Jac: She's American, you could convince her Cork has a lot to offer beside 🦪 Jac: but actually, she is UNBEARABLE, and I'm trying very hard to be nice and give everyone a chance rn Jac: she does Art History, despite the fact she seems to know less about art than I do Jac: doesn't stop her 🔊 Amelia: 💔 you put your mean girl years behind you too soon, I'm SO proud though Amelia: and I'm sure Savannah appreciates it just as much Jac: 😏 I can feel the sincerity Jac: I know though, talk about completely crazy Amelia: if you want sincerity I can totally believe she'd follow you there as if nothing happened Amelia: are you okay? Jac: I think the prestige probably beat the off-chance I'd also be there but I appreciate the belief Jac: Yeah, actually, I am Jac: it went well, better than I could've or would've imagined before Amelia: alright, that's a relief Amelia: not that it's been playing on my mind or anything since the ✨ livened up my feed Jac: I would've got in touch sooner Jac: It did cross my mind, that you'd see Jac: I also didn't wanna encroach on your freshers' experience at all, that idea won out Jac: It must've been a shock for you and all Amelia: I get it, because likewise obviously Amelia: plus you seemed like you were coping, and it's not the same as before, you have people to go to now if you aren't so Amelia: I don't know, it seemed too dramatic to come at you all !!!!!! Amelia: which is why I didn't Jac: I wouldn't have bitten your head off Jac: but I see and appreciate that logic Jac: not to mention previous experience would say I actually would so Jac: She's changed a lot too, in those 2 years Amelia: good Jac: Yeah, turns out she had a pretty rough time of it too Jac: which, obviously, but I wasn't really in a space to think too much about that back then Amelia: was likely to be more 🥀 than 🌹 living with her dad, and everything that happened with her mum Amelia: I'm not surprised even if I couldn't be very sympathetic then Jac: I can't believe I was zoned out Jac: I didn't even know about her mum Amelia: you had loads of your own shit going on, it'd be more unbelievable if you were tuned into hers Amelia: I didn't know how bad it was, or didn't want to hear it, whichever Jac: Jess made it sound like the world and his wife knew Jac: I feel awful Jac: but her mum is doing better now, and they're trying to mend their relationship, so, that's positive Amelia: it always feels like that in my 🏠 but I would've told you if I'd realised Jac: It isn't your fault remotely Jac: like you said, sympathy about it wasn't at the forefront of your mind Jac: and you can't be blamed there Amelia: I'm genuinely glad things are getting better, the last thing she needs is to feel like shit for leaving her mum again if they aren't Jac: I know you are, you aren't a monster Jac: even if you and Savannah had your differences, and the obvious situation from there 'til now Amelia: that's enough sincerity though, the last thing I need is Savannah Moore trying to be my friend again Amelia: you can keep her Jac: 😂 Alright Jac: about that though Jac: things have changed, between us too Amelia: okay Amelia: what does that mean? Jac: Well, I told her, this time Jac: that I'm not straight Jac: and neither is she Amelia: she really has fucking changed Jac: She hasn't also come out, there's no label on it or anything Jac: but she likes me back Jac: you deserve to know, and would, regardless of where we were in our relationship Jac: I'm sorry if it's not what you want to hear though Amelia: thanks, I guess Amelia: for not waiting for the 💍 announcement Jac: Things haven't moved quite that fast Jac: although, yeah Jac: I know Amelia: It's still Savannah, I doubt she's had a TOTAL personality transplant Amelia: you probably wouldn't like her if she had Amelia: so I'll keep an eye out for that post and put my congrats on it Jac: No, she's still her Jac: and I doubt her plans include a 💍 that could be bought on a student budget Amelia: true Amelia: I'll send some 💐 she'd NEVER put in the 🗑 Amelia: just the 💌 I'll actually bother to write, you know, like a normal person Jac: There goes the mystery Amelia: because of course you wouldn't recognise my handwriting Jac: I've checked your homework over enough times Jac: I doubt anyone else is rushing to send us a bouquet so Jac: process of elimination Amelia: there you go then Jac: but I have told my brother and that Jac: on the off-chance you catch him and he's dying not to bring it up Amelia: bit rude of him not to try and gently break the news Jac: Assumedly either thinking I've imagined the whole thing all over, or it'll all fizzle out before there's any need to go there Amelia: or I'm thriving so hard there's no need to bring me down 1 week in Jac: Obviously that too Jac: but you know that wasn't my intention, yeah Amelia: it's obvious you're not thinking about me, don't worry Jac: Okay Jac: do you want me to leave you now? Amelia: Why would I want that? Jac: Plenty of valid reasons Jac: to process, to not, you just don't feel like talking to me at this precise moment Amelia: what's to process? the bit about her not queerbaiting you the entire time is new, the rest isn't Jac: That's not nothing Jac: it changes the whole thing Amelia: not for me Jac: Alright then Amelia: you were hung up on her every second, what's changed for you is that was a least a bit mutual Amelia: I don't need to process any of that, it doesn't involve me Jac: It's still new information, that's all Amelia: not really Amelia: I probably should have guessed anyway Jac: If I didn't, I don't see how you could've Jac: she didn't even then so Amelia: too late to become a 🔮💎💫 gay, I hear you Jac: 🕵 is definitely a better idea Amelia: maybe I'd just really love to be able to say 'it's just a phase, mum' about something Jac: You've had plenty Amelia: name one Jac: [that boy band I said they liked lol] Jac: for starters Amelia: that wasn't a phase that was me lying that I cared Jac: yeah, okay Jac: you knew all the lyrics 'cos you cover was so deep Jac: no need to lie, they had some tunes Amelia: I knew all the lyrics because there was about 5 lines repeated over and over Jac: uh-huh Jac: you had badges all over your school bag Amelia: because you've never fully committed to a lie, oh wait Jac: There's no need to be a bitch Amelia: 😂 Jac: No, I'm not super ready to laugh about that time in my life, as it goes Amelia: okay Jac: I'm going to leave you to it now Jac: Good luck with your first proper day, hope it all goes well Amelia: actually wait though Amelia: I didn't mean that Amelia: I'm sorry Jac: Alright Jac: I know you're upset, or pissed off Jac: but being a better person doesn't extend to being a punching bag for you to get that out Jac: you can feel it, obviously, but that's just unproductive for you, and not gonna happen from my end Amelia: I know Jac: and I know that's what I did to you Jac: so it probably seems fair, or justified at least, that you get to now Jac: but it wasn't right, and an eye for an eye, you know Amelia: no, it's not fair, I wasn't being, that's why I'm sorry Jac: You don't need to stoop to my lowest Amelia: I'm trying, okay Jac: Yeah Jac: and I accept your apology Amelia: thanks Jac: should I not have told you? Amelia: I think that'd be worse Jac: I thought the same Jac: unless you were going to block me on the sly, then you would have seen Amelia: maybe I should now, I don't know Jac: If you want to Jac: to take some time Jac: or more permanently Jac: it's up to you Jac: obviously my offer of being friends still stands but I understand Jac: as I said, this changes things Amelia: yeah, if we let it Jac: You can't help how this makes you feel Amelia: but why should I let her take everything again? Jac: Savannah isn't actively doing that Jac: but if you want to keep trying, so do I Amelia: we worked hard at getting here, me and you, that's not about her Jac: True Jac: You don't have to be friends with her now, that's not it Jac: just accept that she's my girlfriend, and a big part of my life Amelia: does she know? Jac: About what happened between us? Jac: No Jac: she doesn't know a huge amount about those two years, for me Jac: I plan to tell her everything Jac: but it's a lot to throw at her in a sitting, especially unasked, you know Amelia: it'd really fuck with her freshers, for sure Jac: Right Jac: all for having the hard but necessary conversations Jac: but there's a time and a place Jac: I don't want her to feel like I'm trying to make her feel bad for me, either Jac: like 'look what YOU did' because nah Amelia: too 🥀🥀🥀 Amelia: it can wait, neither of you are going anywhere Jac: That's my logic Amelia: she'll get why you waited Jac: I hope so Amelia: come on, it'll be harder for you to say than it'll be for her to hear, she's a LOT of things, but she won't want you to go through that before you're ready to Jac: You're right Jac: it just feels like secrets, and that feels like 10 steps back Jac: but it isn't that Amelia: I'm sure even she hasn't had time to tell you everything, she'd need to be chatting non stop Jac: True Jac: if you're ever done talking about yourself and your life, that's gotta be a sign you need to get out more, right Jac: there's always more to say Amelia: right Amelia: stop being so virgo-ish about it and give yourself a break Jac: 😂 okay Jac: I just need lectures to actually start Jac: so I can freak out on that instead Amelia: same Jac: are you more 😁 or 😱 Amelia: 😕 Amelia: over 😣 Jac: You'll be fine Jac: let me know how it goes though Jac: I'm interested Amelia: okay 🤓 Jac: Well there's a lot of overlap Jac: obviously, you can usually do them as a double discipline but I wanted to go pure Psych Jac: doesn't mean I'm not 🤔 Amelia: yeah Jac: 🤏🤓 fine Amelia: we're not strangers Jac: I remember Jac: so, what are your new mates like then? Amelia: great, obviously Jac: It's a good thing you aren't taking English Jac: that description leaves a lot to be desired Amelia: what do you want me to say? Jac: Isn't there anyone in particular? Amelia: there's a whole course full of people Jac: Yeah, I like one of my profs, he's really cool Jac: but I don't know anyone on my course that well yet either, they all seem nice enough though Amelia: of course you do Jac: it's so refreshing in comparison to the teachers at our school Jac: even if he acted like a base level human, it'd be a step up Jac: but he knows his stuff, and he's down to help me get ahead, what more could I want Amelia: literally nothing Jac: But I'm still not into dudes so I won't commit that cliche, don't worry Amelia: a real weight off my mind Jac: sure Amelia: 😏 Jac: I've already done loads of prep Jac: can basically chill in his class this whole term Amelia: you can but you won't Amelia: 🤓🏆⭐ Jac: we're not strangers Amelia: maybe we are 🤏 because reading's the only prep we were given but I've already done it Jac: Not really Jac: you just pretended you weren't 🤓 Amelia: no, I just actually wasn't 🤓 about school Jac: plenty of other things Jac: you can't hide the 🤓 Amelia: it's not 😳 I literally can Jac: not from me Amelia: that'd be 10 steps back Jac: try 10000 Amelia: no thank you, that sounds exhausting Jac: you've got a 🛏 Amelia: yeah, I don't know who's more thrilled, me or my dad Amelia: getting to pretend he's allergic to pets for another year at least Jac: result Jac: won't have to fake seduce him on your behalf either Jac: I'm most thrilled Amelia: Savannah is Amelia: undoubtedly Jac: Yeah, that ain't something I ever want to explain 😂 Amelia: she'd be less understanding about it Jac: None of us are understanding that Jac: sorry to your father Amelia: 😂 Jac: I think your mum would snap Jac: go full psycho Amelia: probably Amelia: they're very 😍🥰😘 right now Jac: that's nice Jac: bit gross but good Jac: she won't call you every 10 minutes Amelia: she can try but I won't answer Amelia: the friend I like best will be here soon Jac: Sounds promising Jac: I'll leave you to it for now, for real Jac: you better get ready Amelia: you're so Amelia: you Jac: what does that mean? Amelia: I don't need 👗👠💄 Jac: what's that, a humblebrag? Amelia: hardly Amelia: it's a compliment for you, you're cute for caring Jac: It's not cute, I just like to look nice Amelia: oh so you don't think I look nice? Amelia: rude Jac: everyone looks better for effort Jac: that's simple facts Amelia: anyway, I meant it's cute you care about my social life this much Jac: because I really need you being a loner to worry about Jac: no tah Jac: obviously I'm happy for you Amelia: you don't need to worry about me whatever happens Jac: It's not optional Amelia: okay Jac: I never stopped Amelia: you can stop now Jac: That's just what being friends is Amelia: I'm no expert Amelia: have to take your word for it, if anything Jac: I know you care about me too Amelia: but you're thriving so I don't have to worry Jac: I guess Jac: it's not just for the bad times though, is it Amelia: I hope not Jac: it's not Jac: come on Jac: pull yourself together and at least do 1 out of 3 👗👠💄 Amelia: fine, I'll put shoes on Jac: that's what I like to hear Amelia: 🙄 just because I'm ignoring my mum there's no need for you to take over from her Jac: I still can't do any handicrafts so unlikely Amelia: Savannah is unlikely to wear a homemade 🧣 so I think you're fine Jac: she loves anything thoughtful but I ain't gonna start there still Amelia: 💐 Jac: Naturally Jac: both our rooms look like a florist already Jac: makes up for the shabby walls and carpet you can't do much about Amelia: any time you'd like to fully lean into the 👵 I'll do you an embroidery hoop or something Amelia: very chic Jac: they do sell a lot of that sort of thing in the charity shops Jac: I'm sure your 🎨 will be better than whatever the actual 👵 decided to do 🖼 Amelia: SUCH a compliment, I have no idea how I'm not 😳 Jac: Charity shops are in Jac: I'm not going to call it thrifting, I'm not even half-American, wouldn't be able to take myself seriously Amelia: good, please don't Jac: vintage, upcycling, all acceptable Amelia: for my mother Amelia: I'll take how 'modern' my room here is Jac: I suppose that does make a change Jac: I love the buildings though, the architecture Amelia: 🎨 Amelia: yeah, would be inspiring if I had any time Jac: Is Cork by the coast? Jac: I know nothing about that area Jac: I'm like NEXT to the beach, it's incredible Amelia: it's one of the largest natural harbours in the world, if that doesn't make you want to come and visit me, well ?? Amelia: it has it's own lovely architecture Jac: You should work for the tourism board, honestly Jac: good speech, that Amelia: 🤷🏻 Amelia: I'm here for the 🤓 and you're already interested in that Jac: I'd go to Italy, if I were you Jac: but then, Denmark might have the most interesting criminal practices and laws, so that's a good choice too Amelia: you'll visit me there then, yeah? Jac: I forgot about Sweden, but those three are the real ones to consider Jac: and we can sort visiting when we're even a bit settled Amelia: okay Jac: we've only just left Amelia: thanks for that obvious reminder Jac: 😏 Jac: you know what I mean Jac: give me a chance to get my diary in order before you're saying I'm avoiding you or whatever Amelia: give you a chance to miss me, you mean Amelia: you've got one right now, because I have to go get ready Jac: Oh, if we had to wait for that, you'd never see me again 😉 Jac: have fun 👠👠 Amelia: 💔 Amelia: bye

[thrilly2022]

2022 goals (May update)

- finish 9 books I bought before 2022

finished 2 books so far, even though I've been reading more than that. 1 of those books wasn't on my list though and I'm currently reading both books I've bought before 2022 and in 2022, so I might need to update this a bit.

-> finish 9 books (preferably bought before 2022)

- finish 9 games I bought before 2022

even though I've also played a few new GamePass titles, I've already reached that goal now. yay!

- buy as few things as possible

I don't buy excessively, but I'm not living frugrally either. Spent a bit more on hardware than I would've wanted to.

- be more intentional

I haven't been intentional enough recently, I think. At least, not consistently. I haven't found my system yet on how to do so and I don't feel like I've got the time to create one.

- spend less time on social media/mobile phone

There's ups and downs. After a few weeks of barely touching it, it's recently cost me a few hours of sleep again.

- declutter regularly (physically, digitally, mentally)

Needs to be done, but I don't know when.

- plan and do more stuff (travelling!)

Needs to be done, but I don't know when.

- get back in shape and reach new heights

This worked out good so far, but got injured in April and was forced to pause. So, it's back to Day 1.

- spend more time with people (better relationships)

Definitely not doing this enough. Having a hard time organizing/finding time.

- fall in love

Done this, but we're also back to Day 1 here.