#i would never be able to work that hard

[ennobaka]

One of my distant aunts (who just divorced my distant uncle so technically she's not my aunt anymore. Technically. She's cool tho) visited my SIL today and when I came down, the first thing she said to me was asking me when I would get married. And then after some talking she said not to marry unless I was 1000% sure that they would be good for me. Like, girl

[vaguely-concerned]

thinking about not only the specific people lucanis pulls in to represent the 'locks' in his psyche, but the storytelling that happens in the structure/order of them. the underlying ideas are presented something like:

the lucanis who went into the ossuary never came back out again; he died down there (the boy caterina raised is gone forever) -> you're putting yourself in danger doing this (by being close to me), you should leave because I can't bear it if you get hurt because of me -> it doesn't matter even if we do try this, it won't work anyway (again because of me) ('you know what he's like, you can open the door but he won't walk through it' :'( oofie doofie) -> what if the real secret is that there was never anything but the monster in here from the beginning. you should leave, there was never anything here worth saving in the first place. (implicitly: what if I deserved what happened, all along.)

it runs pretty cleanly from outward-oriented attachment anxiety ('caterina won't even want me back like this, she won't recognize me (the same way I no longer recognize myself)) and gradually deeper inwards until we reach self-image and self worth. or you know, the harrowing basic lack of it lol.

"careful -- they'll know we're not right," spite says in one of their first scenes... but clearly, some very deep part of lucanis has feared or suspected for much longer than that that there's something inherently not right at the core of him, way before any demon entered the picture. and the voice he gives those lines to is the person who should know him better than anyone in the world, who he has loved more than anyone in the world -- and who deliberately chose to hurt him so horrifically anyway. 'It's better if I'm just a monster and deserved what happened than it is to allow for the idea that the brother I love doesn't really exist and maybe never did'. it's better if he's fundamentally flawed in some way that needed fixing to help him survive, and that's why caterina chose to hurt him again and again -- out of love. (this one I think he might have a very sad wakeup call on one day if he ever ends up with the responsibility and care of a child of his own in some way and realizes just how alien the idea of ever intentionally hurting them for any reason is to him. oh buddy. also interesting that he keeps caterina as the outermost lock -- there IS a distance he keeps there that he hasn't with illario. he doesn't resent her 'anymore' he says, but he also keeps her carefully further away from his deepest self.)

as far as I could tell the only note in the mind prison that's fully hidden and needs to be uncovered is the sad painful helpless stupid little truth that even after all this, even knowing what happened... he still loves his brother. is there anything illario could ever do that would make lucanis completely stop loving him, do you think? sometimes the trouble with unconditional love is that it is, well. unconditional, even when some terms and conditions probably would have been in order haha.

that's the pattern you see there again and again; he would rather destroy and abandon and imprison himself at every turn than let go of love, even when it's just scraps, even when there's only ever enough of it to hurt him. it's only when rook shows up and as it were takes his hand and walks along with him that he can entertain the idea of changing the story of what walking out the door might mean in the end.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Get Souped!

[canisalbus]

I think you've mentioned before that after Machete's passing, Vasco would eventually find another partner that he'd live out the rest of his days with. Do you think he'd tell them about Machete at some point? Or would he feel it's safer/easier to keep the stories and memories to himself? If he did tell his partner I'd also understand if he chose to leave out certain details, such as Machete's job, whether it be for general safety or a sense to protect Machete's privacy and reputation even though he's gone

I think the partner Vasco lives the rest of his days with is most likely his platonic wife Ludovica, the one he was already married to at the time he reunited with Machete in their early thirties. I can see him eventually starting to try to see other men again, and he might love them too, but the whole process of trying to open up to other people (after all those years and the way things ended) would be kind of lonely, frustrating and painful for the most part. Chances are none of his subsequent relationships would last very long. He'd probably grow closer to Ludovica and she would do her best to support him. I'm not sure how much of his 10+ years with Machete he'd be able to share with anyone to be honest.

[spielzeugkaiser]

hi, first off i really love your art. the h/c and warmth really hit me where i live and your illustration style is fantastic. lately i've been obsessed with the post where an unwell milek thinks geralt will leave him behind. was that an ingrained insecurity, assuming his super-witcher dad wouldn't have time for a sickly human kid?

[MASTERPOST] - Ahh, thank you for the ask! Yes, this scene.. I actually saw this a bit differently! It's not about Milek fearing Geralt will leave him behind, he actually wants him to. They need to find his Pa!! I think he often feels like a burden; Jaskier knows this, but Geralt isn't aware of this yet. Milek just wants to pull his weight, especially with Jaskier. A little sneak peak to their struggles regarding this:

Meanwhile Jaskier continues to struggle with his omega status.

[unexpectedbrickattack]

I bet Gustavo knows how’s exactly small he is and uses his charms and adorableness to get tips , and it’d work

Peppino pays Gus very well (esp after postgame) so theres no need to have tips. He lets Gus have the jar there anyway, but at the cost of having Pep occasionally come up behind him and catch him conning these poor customers

[mazeyphaedra]

HELIO CHOSE HER, BUT SHE CHOSE CASSANDRA.

Traci Brimall, Vive, Vive // Mitski, Goodbye My Danish Sweetheart // Unknown // Katie Maria, God is made of hunger and I am made of dreams // Ally Beardsley, Fantasy High: Sophomore Year // Caravaggio, Judith Beheading Holofernes // @inkskinned, When I’m sad, I write goodbye letters to the people I care about. Once I’ve said goodbye to everyone, I can go. // Ally Beardsley, Fantasy High: Junior Year // Florence & The Machine, Girls Against God // Hozier & Allison Russell, Wildflower and Barley

[ame-to-ame]

still working on tweening and etc but small self-indulgent sneak peek hehe

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[travelbasscase]

me when my disability disables me:

[puppyeared]

if escape rooms as team building exercises became popular im not sure if id be more excited or terrified

[ghostcrows]

Its so easy to assimilate into a cis male space and it's access to patriarchal power just by declaring yourself as one of them. They will instantly respect you and definitely not squint to see the ghostly spectre of your feminine mystique every time they look at you. this is famously known and no one has ever come across any problems to date (why would anyone keep your records, you don't exist)

[girlivealwaysbean]

i think growing up is just life repeatedly sucker punching you and saying bitch you thought things were gonna better lmao no you're so naive and stupid for having hope in 20 years the world will be flaming bag of garbage and no matter how hard you work you'll get eliminated at some point

[bayofwolves]

how did abeke take care of her braids when the team was on a mission is what i want to know

[skunkes]

my issue is that 2 weeks ago I was flip flopping on what decision to make while being very convinced that I wanted to try to leave and that doing so would make me happy and no matter how difficult it was it would be worth it. Just like how i wanted my surgery but was still wracked with guilt leading up to it. Now im stressed and obsessively thinking about it while being convinced that leaving would not make me happy at all and would not be worth it. which is a lot harder...

[theygender]

Now that I've finally managed to put on some weight I've realized that when I wear a sports bra instead of just looking completely flat chested it kinda looks like I have pecs and now I am absolutely determined to get buff enough to make that a reality. All these years of being confused about why my dysphoria as a nonbinary person made me simultaneously upset that my boobs were too small and that I had boobs at all and it turns out that all I wanted all along was to have honkin men's tits but we just hadn't invented the concept of fat daddy milkers yet. Tumblr memes are helping me unlock new layers of gender